#it's LITERALLY me talking to myself for like 15 paragraphs

[philosophiums]

hi sam!! 1, 2, 6, 8, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 42, 43, 44, 45, 47, 50, 51, 55, 57, 66 (lmhs), 71, 72, 76, 78, 79 😊 i just love picking another writer's brain hehe

KSJDBVJKDFBV MARIAM IM CRYING HELP 😂 *cracks knuckles* okay let's gooooo 💜 (there's gonna be a read more somewhere)

questions from here!

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Truly depends on the length of the wip! For short stuff that I'm confident will be under 10k, I just go in swinging. For longer stuff, I'm daydreaming constantly, even during the writing process. When I had a desk job, I would spend Work Time thinking and then write stuff out in my notes app, but now that I operate a moving vehicle for 7+ hours a day, I just spend the majority of that time Daydreaming, Thinking, and Planning for LMHS.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

It's about a 60/40 split between original thoughts (as much as anyone can claim to truly have original creative thoughts that are 100% not inspired by anything else) and ideas that are based on or inspired by the premises of other fics or by fanart (sometimes not even from the same fandom).

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

From LMHS, last line of chapter 3: "Sun shining on their backs, sweet snacks in their stomachs, and laughter in the air, the three of them take off together, venturing once again deeper into Changyin’s busy streets."

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Not written out yet so I can't post a snippet, but in LMHS, water is so important to Megumi's character, way beyond just bending.

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Sometimes! I did outline LMHS, though that was mostly an attempt on my part at keeping track of all the thoughts @hinamie and I were throwing at each other. It's not very detailed at all, just a bullet point list of things like "they travel to [location] - remember that [this character] is with them" or stuff like that. It's a guide for the like... movement™ of the fic, but less so the nitty gritty details, which I kind of enjoy discovering as I go (be it while I'm writing or while Hina and I are talking). But the last long fic I wrote (250k) did not have an outline. I just followed my heart and the vision I had of the end of the fic <3 The back half of that fic did have a canon timeline to follow, though, which made it easier.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

SJKDBJKSDB I do about 95% of my writing in a big leather wingback armchair in my living room, usually with one leg hooked over an arm of the chair. The other 5% is bleary-eyed, 2am in bed, notes app, half-finished sentences with just the worst spelling you've ever seen.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

It used to be between 1am and 3am, back when I was unemployed/working a job I didn't have to properly sleep for. Now, the only time I seem to be able to write is from about 8:30pm to 11pm. It takes me forever to unwind after coming home, so I can really only get myself to focus way at the end of the day. 100% if I went back to a desk job or stumbled into a pile of money that could let me stop working, I'd be right back to typing away well after midnight.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sit down > open word doc > reread last paragraph > dissociate > walk away > come back three hours later and write SKJDVBDKJBVJKDFBV

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

I don't necessarily enjoy it, mostly because when I'm researching, I tend to get pulled down a rabbit hole of stuff I don't need to know and will never use. However, I do find that I end up doing impromptu "shotgun" research a lot while writing. Literally while writing the first chapter of LMHS, I had to pull up some research on trees just to make absolutely sure I was describing something correctly. It's 100% an inconsequential detail, but at least I know I wasn't pulling it completely out of thin air KSJVDBDKJVB I don't think I could honestly say which fic required the most research. If we include the amount of time I spent on the respective fandom wikis for character/canon details, then Swallow the Stars for sure. But if it's only for Other Stuff™, then I think they're all about equal.

19. Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I love making OCs in general, but not really for fanfic. I'll make an OC for an inconsequential side character no problem (did this a couple times in Swallow the Stars), but, for the most part, I prefer to stick to canon characters. I've never written a fic from the POV of an OC, and I doubt I ever will. I would much rather explore the dynamics between canon characters than insert a new main character into a story that already has one.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Depends! I've done all three before SKJDVBDKJVBF Sometimes, a title comes to me right away, and I can sort of circle around it while I'm writing (this is more common for me with short fics). Sometimes, I get a few thousands words in, and have played with the themes long enough to have it just sort of come to me. Other times, I'm fully edited and just staring at the words begging a title to appear so I can post KSJDVBDKJFVBDFV LMHS had a title before I even started writing, because I wanted to have a title when I posted the fic announcement. As far as how I come up with them, I've pulled directly from words in the fic, I've gone on random quote generators and pulled from those, I've sat down and literally just strung words together based on a theme or a single specific word I wanted (LMHS, for instance, came from a desire to use the word "haunt"). It just kinda depends and is different for every fic!

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

The beginning is easiest because it's fun character introductions and scene setting, not a lot of plot yet. The middle is by far the hardest because that's where the plot is beefiest and where a lot of the transition spaces are, and at the same time you're starting to gather up the threads you want to tie off at the end.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I choose based on whose thoughts I'm imagining most when I'm first thinking of the story! When I'm new to writing for a fandom, I will sometimes have to start a fic 2 or 3 times to find the voice that comes easiest to me, though. I have a tendency to lean towards the quieter characters, but that's not always true! For example, Andrew Minyard's POV is easier for me to write in, but I have more fun writing Neil, so I tend to gravitate towards Neil for AFTG fics.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

World building my beloved..... I love coming up with Reasons for things that I want to happen, tying things into the setting and the history and making sure it works for the characters as well. The moment when everything connects is so magical.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Writing KJDBKJDFBVJKDBFV Words are just.... so hard 😭

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Detailing! Descriptions! I am constantly fighting with myself over how much detail I actually need to include in my descriptions, because on some level, I want to describe it as much as I possibly can so that it can be envisioned easier, but on the flip side I know for a fact that no matter how much I describe something, no one will ever see it exactly the same way I do. And so then I pull back too far, I think, and keep my descriptions bare minimum, which I think is just as unhelpful. I need to work on finding a balance. Maybe metaphor can be my friend here.....

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I usually go through for edits a minimum of two times and a maximum of 4 times. I always do an initial read-through for details that I missed or clarifications I need to make or continuity problems, stuff like that. Then I'll go through for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc. If I end up rewriting a lot during that second edit, I'll go back through yet again just to double-check everything. And, more often than not, I do a last read-through right before I post. Though, inevitably, there's always something that I don't catch until it's already posted KJSBDVKDJBV

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I'm really quite keen on Like the Moon Haunts the Sun !! It's longer than what I usually go for with titles, but it's sooooo thematically fitting and just really really pretty imo. But, This Is What Hollows holds a special place in my heart because it's a bit different and yet perfectly fitting for that fic. Plus, it was titled loooong before I came up with a way to include it in the actual writing of the fic, and I felt like an absolute genius when I managed to do that organically.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I have a world mostly built for a fantasy setting with dragon gods and stuff that I've planned out all the lore for and yet cannot for the life of me actually think up a plot that would be interesting to write SKJVBDJKVB I have characters, I have setting, I have themes, but a plot? Evading me. And it's been haunting me for like 7 years.

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Urban fantasy 100%!! I love writing magic systems without having to do historical research SKJBDVKJDVB Also just the idea of magic in a place that we live in is so special to me like... there is magic everywhere in the world, but sometimes that magic really does come from a spell book like Yes Please.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

Found family trope my beloved,,,,,,,, don't look too closely at it; it doesn't say anything about me as a person I Promise.

47. Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Not a trope, but when I was younger and Working Through Some Shit, I included a, I guess, circumstance™ that I will not actually say (bc it's like. triggering) in just about every fic I wrote, but I'm past the point now (thank god) of needing to vent through it, so I truly don't think I'll ever include it in anything ever again.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

HHHHHHH I have no idea. I think I am incapable of looking at my writing objectively enough to describe it.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Very much so! I love reading prose that is rich in metaphor and simile, but for the life of me I can't write like that. I don't have the gift of constantly being able to turn a phrase so beautifully, but god is it gorgeous to read.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I don't even want to think about the words and phrases I overuse because I'm sure there's plenty JSKDBVKJDFVB I do have a recurring theme of like... healing, though. This deep inner struggle of the characters to get to a better place is just... so important to me. I want them to heal, but more than that I want them to want to heal.

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I'm certainly conscious of it, but less so on the first draft. I think foreshadowing has a way of sneaking into my writing naturally (especially because I write chronologically), and then I can really hammer it in during the edit. Symbolism is purely being brought in during the first edit unless it's something so important that it was underlined a lot during the drafting/planning stage.

66. What’s a fun fact about LMHS?

It started as me just randomly thinking about ATLA and sending a question to Hina about what she thought the main trio's bending elements would be, and it just tumbled out of control from there SKJDVBDJKVFB

71. Do you spend more time reading or writing?

Writing, which is... saying something because I really don't spend a lot of time writing on a day-to-day basis. But I haven't read a published book in.... 4 years? And I don't read fanfic very often either, despite my bookmarks tab being overflowing with fics that I would like to read at some point. I just feel like I never have the time or energy to sit down and read.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I have gotten a similar comment from multiple people that is about my characterization of canon characters within AUs and how it still feels like the canon characters but with realistic changes based on a different setting, and in fic writing I can't think of higher praise. Like... that's exactly what I want. I don't want the characters to be exactly the same as canon because their circumstances have changed, but I still want them to be recognizable. That's always what I'm striving for, and it makes me happy that people notice and think it's executed well enough to comment on.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Poorly KDEJVBKJDEFVBJKDFVBJF Really though, I struggle managing pressure when I'm writing. And it's always internal, because external pressure on fics just makes me petty since it's Free Labor, and people who complain about a slow upload schedule or whatever just make me Mad. But internal pressure is HHHHHHHHHH I am Going Through It with LMHS. I want it to live up to expectations, but I also want to finish it quickly, but I also want it to be lush and complete, and there's always this voice in my head telling me I'm not writing fast enough or good enough. Mostly I work past it by reminding myself that the time will pass anyway and that it's a miracle that I can even write ~1k words a day with how tired my job makes me. And on the days when that doesn't work, I have loud music KSJDVBDKJVBJDKFV

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

Up to the point where I start posting (for my last long fic, I was >100k in before I uploaded the first chapter), the motivation comes from a simple desire to write that particular story. For me, it can't come from anywhere else. If I don't want to write on a fic anymore and I haven't uploaded yet, I'll just stop. However, once I start posting, comments and general interaction with the fic gives me a huge bump in motivation. Engagement and talking about the story and the characters and the plot just makes me so excited to keep going so that I can drop the next plot twist or cliffhanger and read everyone's reactions. This time, for LMHS, I am very very lucky to have my own personal cheer squad of one (Hina) motivating me daily through memes and character discussion and new pieces of art and other various things <3

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

The best actual constructive writing advice that I can give is: Do Not Edit Something Until You're Done. And yes, I mean the entire story - do not go back and reread/rewrite until you're done with it. Nothing will make your forward momentum disappear faster than going back to edit. If you're too hung up on details and perfection right away, you're never going to get done. You have to just write and accept that things will need to be reworked. Make notes for yourself on things to fix later or whatever, just do not scroll back up and start editing before you're done with something. It will only make you disappointed that where you pick up again isn't going to look as nice as what you just edited.

[freeuselandonorris]

hello freeuselandonorris! i’ve asked you for writing advice/ideas a couple of times (POV decisions and something in Nov, can’t remember exactly what it was), and i find your advice so helpful (/srs) so i hope it’s not annoying i’m asking again lol.

i find i can only write when i have extreme motivation, like an idea literally possesses my brain and the words almost write themselves - gonna out myself here, the last thing i wrote was the water inflation fic i appropriated from you; it just took over my mind and i wrote/edited it in like two days (though the speed is for sure because the entire plot was essentially your idea lol).

basically, i have lots of ideas but it’s hard for me to actually think of scenes in specific, and then i just end up not writing at all. do you have a method for coming up with a progression of a specific scene?

i am doing a horrible job of explaining my q lol so for example, my current wip involves interview panels/youtube collabs etc, but i’m finding it hard to write those because it’s so different from anything i’ve tried writing before. what do you do in those kinds of cases?

sorry for the ramble and if this makes no sense, love u 😭

hiiii lovely anon (or semi-anon lmao) you are not annoying in the SLIGHTEST, i love talking about stuff like this and it makes me really fucking happy to know that my self-indulgent rambling about writing is occasionally helpful to read ❤️

SO. i have two pieces of advice on this one, speaking from my own experience because for a very long time i was also like this and would write in fits and starts and felt very like i had to ~wait for the muses to bless me~. it’s actually something i was taught at a writing course i took years ago now and it sounds so blah and obvious when you first read it but if you stick with it, it works. BRIEF DAILY SESSIONS.

aka, you write a tiny little bit every day. if you can’t commit to every day, say five days a week (but every day is better). i do NOT mean write 1000 words a day or spend three hours doing it or freak yourself out or beat yourself up or abandon your social life or your responsibilities! the idea is you just pick a time that feels feasible (i started off with 15 minutes a day and i think this works well) and you commit to doing that every day. it doesn’t have to be anything good. it can be 15 minutes of you describing lando’s eyelashes in minute detail. it can be 15 minutes of notes for a plotline. it can be 15 minutes of dialogue you KNOW is shit and wooden and will be getting deleted the minute you get to the edit stage. doesn’t matter. just do your 15 minutes.

what this does is it breaks the hold your brain has on this idea of “oh no i have to be INSPIRED before i can possibly think of writing”. at my course they compared it to musicians practising scales, or athletes doing training. we could think of it like drivers doing their sim runs. they don’t just turn up on a race weekend and expect to be great, they have to keep their eye in.

side note: it’ll feel horrible at first, you’ll hate it and resent it and everything you write will feel awful. stick with it. if you miss a day, it doesn’t matter, you haven’t failed, just start again tomorrow. if you miss a week, you haven’t failed, start again tomorrow.

this is more of a long-term thing, so for your specific piece and the issue you mention about progressing a scene, the way i get around this is to start by writing the bit(s) i CAN imagine. so for instance here, you’d write one interview scene, or one youtube collab scene. even if it’s just a little bit of dialogue, or a couple of paragraphs of like, oh i can see oscar rolling his eyes and lando sees it and gets annoyed but he can’t say anything because there are cameras on them… or whatever. just write that bit. then leave a blank space in the gdoc and write the next bit. don’t worry about the order or anything.

once you’ve written all the little bits you can think of, read them through and you might be able to see links between them, like — oh that bit could follow on from this bit up here, or these two bits could kind of go together. reorganise stuff a bit, chop it up, get rid of anything that doesn’t work (copy it into another document called ‘cutting room floor’ if you don’t want to fully get rid).

THEN write yourself some notes. go through your bits and bobs and in between them, just write stuff like [SOMEHOW THEY GET FROM THE FILMING TO THE HOTEL ROOM???]. don’t just write [SOMETHING HAPPENS HERE], you need to give yourself little breadcrumbs to follow. so like there you go, okay, so they need to be in a car or a lift or some sort of transitional space (you see these crop up a lot in my fics — lifts, hallways in hotels, the backs of taxis). or if they’ve started off talking about one thing and you want them talking about this other thing by the end of the scene, write [THEY CONTINUE TALKING ABOUT LUNCH UNTIL IT GETS AWKWARD AND THEN THEY SOMEHOW END UP TALKING ABOUT OSCAR’S CHILDHOOD]. okay, so it got awkward. how did it get awkward? write that bit. what happens after it’s awkward? does lando double down or try to gloss over it? write that bit. how does oscar react to that? write that bit. etc.

in essence, don’t try to see the entire thing at once because you’ll paralyse yourself. give yourself a direction to aim in, and a place to start, and then just focus on the next bit until you get from A to B.

and if all else fails, find a nice pithy line to end the scene on, use an asterisk scene break and start again somewhere else 🤷

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG i really hope i didn’t bore the hell out of everyone afkjeskfjkldsj but yes THANK YOU AGAIN and i hope this is useful in some way!! you can do it i know ittttt

[erisenyo]

Hello! You're like, the only author on ao3 who writes their stories in advance and who I follow, so excuse my whining here, please. Does it ever happen to you that you have a (conversation about the Thing here) in the first draft, and you just can't get around it? Because I'm feeling it very much myself and this is the first time I'm not doing chapter by chapter chaos and... well, I am missing the comments and losing the spirit. This convo is the base of all the other missing stuff, even if I try to move on, I'm still practically writing that one and. It shuts me down. Any ideas? Sorry for bothering you!

Hello anon!

So if I'm understanding your question right (and definitely let me know if I'm not!), you're asking how to plow through a stuck scene without the motivation and inspiration from the comments of posting as you go.

Which is a real struggle that I very much sympathize with! And I potentially have two answers, depending on if it's the stuckness that's getting you, or more the feedback side of things.

And in typical me-style, this answer is long, so I am putting it below a cut lol

On being stuck on a scene--if I truly can't get past it, it seems bogged down and boring and I'm just not excited for it anymore, I have a few strategies:

My tried and true is to go back 10ish lines or a few paragraphs before, even to the start of the scene, because a lot of times what I'm getting stuck on is that the scene needs a different narrative framing or lead-in (usually, for me, just starting more in the middle of things instead of giving all the exhaustive lead-in)

Sometimes a scene/convo flows better for me if I set it in a different location, between a different mix of people, or if I put some sort of action around it (a conversation between Sokka and Zuko about something purely plot-based can layer in lots of fun characterization if suddenly it's occurring while Zuko is trying to do work and Sokka is trying to get him to eat lunch at the same time)

A POV switch! Sometimes my current narrator is just the wrong one for this scene, because they know too much or not enough (I usually prefer the narrator who knows the least, so they can be learning along with the reader)

Sometimes I realize I don't actually need the scene, I just need to have the characters to reference or react to it after, and as long as I know that ABC happened I don't actually have to write it all out. (This can help make the pacing feel faster, too, and sometimes it feels easier and more interesting to fold the references and reactions into later scenes than to actually write it all out)

Specifically for exposition or something that's feeling infodumpy, finding ways to weave the information into other scenes can be really helpful. When I wrote To Open Every Door I worked a LOT at this, and I essentially ended up sketching out a chapter, having a list of like 10 or 15 or however many things I needed to convey by the end of the chapter (to establish worldbuilding, the status of interpersonal relationships, background, whatever), and then going through my rough draft and finding ways to drop those pieces into a character's reactions and thoughts, to fold them into dialogue, to have OCs saying things, basically weaving the exposition across the chapter instead of delivering it all at once

Talking it out! Literally just articulating what feels off or weird about a scene to someone (or like, your cat, or yourself) often helps me narrow in on what needs fixing, or start to form an idea on how to make it flow better (Thanks Ash lol, your support is invaluable even when you insist you did nothing)

This one is kind of silly, but...try working in a different format! I write in Word, but I plan out my outlines in a table, and brainstorm with bullets, and when I'm stuck I often break out Excel. Seeing the information laid out differently on the page helps me quite literally see it differently in a way that can help me think about it differently, too

And if at the end of all that I'm still stick...do I really need the scene? If so, why? What work is the scene doing (emotional, plot, characterization, worldbuilding, etc.)? A lot of times, understanding the purpose of the scene helps me figure out how best to convey the info, whether its another scene, a different version of the scene I'm stick on, or by refocusing the scene around some other element that's more exciting (like switching the plot into the background behind some characterization or interpersonal moment, or vice versa)

That was a lot! But if what's really got you losing momentum is the lack of feedback--that's totally understandable too! Writing can be a lonely endeavor, so some things I do...

Find a buddy to share it with, whether a hype man or a listening ear! Even if it's just on anon, feeding off of someone else's reactions and excitement can help me get excited and enthusiastic too

Did your commenters speculate and get excited for what was next in a way you found inspiring? Is there a way to replicate that by talking at a higher level about what you're writing so that people can get hyped for the scenario or talk about how it could go, or just add tags to a post that generate energy?

You can post updates along the way, like lines you're excited about or little scene snippets, or just talking about the fic in the tags where it fits. It can be a way to get little bits of feedback and engagement along the way (Meesh always with the eagle eye for my tags whenever I'm rambling about fics haha)

Share the things you're excited about! Whether it's a particular scene, a character dynamic, a trope, a bit of worldbuilding--it's a great way to find people who will get excited along with you, and it also helps me to focus on what got me wanting to write the fic in the first place. Sometimes I'm not the most enthused about writing another post-canon get-together requiring a bunch of setup exposition, but then I think about how fun the Zuko-Mai bestie dynamic will be, or the ridiculous angst of the boys pining for that one night stand they had at that masquerade that they don't realize is each other, and I get enthused all over again haha

And relatedly--hone in on what excites you about the story! Even if you don't share it, is there a scene you can't wait for? A particular interpersonal dynamic you can't get enough of? A twist or reveal you can't wait to share? Focusing on those exciting bits can help me keep my enthusiasm going

Mix up where you write--I rotate between writing on my commute, in my house in various locations, and in a coffee shop basically depending on how social I am feeling on a given day. If you're feeling a bit alone in the writing, maybe it would help to write in a library or cafe or park, or if you're feeling distracted maybe you need a quieter place, or pure just change of setting in general!

Maybe you post it! For me I need to write everything out beforehand, because the serialized posting format makes me hate writing in all ways, and also I get a lot of ideas as I go, where my first drafts very truly are working drafts and it's not uncommon for me to pause in the middle of like, Ch 12 to go back to Ch 2 to lay the groundwork for a scene, and then to Ch 5 to add the setup for a joke I'll land in Ch 14. (Or for me to realize as I edit that I included scenes with absolutely no follow-up that I can now add haha). But that approach isn't for everyone, and maybe you write a few chapters at a time and post them week to week, or maybe you post what you have now to get through this scene and then go back to writing all the rest out. Just cause you started thinking you'll write it all first doesn't mean you have to stick with it if it's not working and something about posting would shake you out of it!

That was...probably way more ideas than you wanted or needed, but let me know if any of them help! I'm crossing my fingers for you!

[hahafosh]

Book Review - いのちの車窓から

Was a bit hesitant on posting this but its my blog and I can post whatever i want!!! Anyways I just felt like I wanted to review a book I just finished reading so why not, lmao.

Title: いのちの車窓から

Author: 星野源 (Hoshino Gen)

Language: Japanese

Genre: エッセイ

Title literally translates to "From the Windshield of Life" which sounds kinda silly, so I'd probably go with "Peering from inside the window of life" or something, haha.

The book consist of 30 short essays, each about 4 to 5 pages long. A single piece took me about 10 to 15 minutes to read depending on the topic, which was perfect for my commute time to and from school.

Topics vary from talking about a specific person, to how the author feels about a certain event, subject, or even daily activities, which is an interesting peek into the life of a big name in the entertainment industry (in Japan at least). Just like all of us, Hoshino Gen is a regular person with likes and dislikes. And like us, he eats, sleeps, plays games and day dreams a lot. What really stood out to me though, was his sincere attitude towards just...being alive. There was a period of time where he had undergone surgery and took a long hiatus from his work as an artist, and perhaps it was that experience that shaped his view towards life.

Through the essays about his personal experiences, one could really feel his earnest desire to just be himself, to live a positive life and be a positive influence to others. The road towards that was certainly not full of sunshines and rainbows, but it warmed my heart to read about how he felt on his journey towards positivity. In a way, I felt encouraged as well to be more positive and true to myself.

Aside from the more personal anectodes, topics on certain people or subjects, for example a shiba inu, were fun to read. 11/10 could relate to very much. Shiba inus are cute, shiba inus are justice. Praise the squishy doggo!

Writing wise, it was an easy read. Had to use the dictionary sometimes to look up the meaning of certain words, or their pronunciation as furigana is scarce. Aside from that, the way each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next truly made the experience a good one. The tone is casual, like how one would write a diary, but written with enough clarity that reader could picture his state of mind at that point of time. I did notice however a tendency to use a specific connective word a lot, but I chalked it up to an author's specialty, as well as being a tool to express his spontaneous personality. I would say though that to fully appreciate the book, one would need a bit of knowledge and understanding of Japanese culture, on top of knowledge about well-known figures in the entertainment industry. I was not familiar with some of the people mentioned in certain essays (especially the comedians from an earlier era), so those did not resonate with me as much as other topics, but it was still a fun read nevertheless. The essay on Aragaki Yui, who would go on to become his wife a few years after the publication of this book, was really sweet in particular. From the bottom of my heart, I felt really glad that got together!

I'm really bad at book reviews so maybe I'll just stop writing here lol. I think book reviews are supposed to be objective?? but mine probably turned out to be too subjective LOL. Whatever I just think it's a good book! I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to start reading Japanese books! It's perfectly bite sized!!

Personally, I came to REALLY appreciate his songs after reading this book. I started listening to his songs out of curiousity, and found the lyrics to his songs to be really beautiful, which in turn made me want to try giving his essays a read. No regrets. Now I fully understand why his songs have this charm that hooks you in and lifts your spirits after listening to them. YELLOW DANCER is my favourite album, and reading about his inspiration behind the creation of it enhances my enjoyment of the album even more UvU)b

Can't wait for いのちの車窓から 2, which is slated to be released on 30th September!

P/S: The character on the cover art of this book subtly forms the number "1". Removing the cover jacket reveals a different character on the cover, which also forms the number "1". I thought that was really clever! I also did not notice this myself lol my mom pointed it out during a video call lol.

[findyourrp]

How To Train Your Dragon (OCxOC Doubles Encouraged)

How To Train Your Dragon (OCxOC Doubles Encouraged)

🐉🐉🐲🐲❤️❤️

I’m 18+ and All Participants must be 18+ and all characters must be 18+

Please allow me to introduce myself! My name is Kim and my timezone is CST. I rp in third person and am semi literate. I will write 2-4 paragraphs each character and just ask you write no one liners.

Now onto the rp. Let’s do this again! Anyways I’ve always loved How to Train your Dragon growing up and ive seen all the movies. My favorite character is Hiccup!!! Like next in line chief!!!! Of course this would be aged up so maybe after everything maybe him and Astrid break up? Like honestly i love him. And i just want someone who can play him. Like obviously being the son of Stoick working on dragon racing and such he’s gotta be muscular by now! And his personality? OH GOD! 10x more than what he was when he was 15!! Like I need him to dominate my oc but at the same time be the type that you touch her your dead. Like seriously I NEED IT!!! Heheh also I would like the rp to have 60/50 mature scenes and stuff. I can play anyone for you!! I do also want to talk about ocs and be friends and just get all cute with our Ocs hahaha and their respective partners.

Now Rules:

1. Be of Age because this is will have content not suitable for minors.

2. Next is reply length.. NO ONE LINERS

3. I'm a very enthusiastic person when it comes to rp, so please if you just want to write don't reach out. That may seem harsh but when writing I want someone who I can discuss head canons with, create playlists with and share thousand image Pinterest boards with...

4. Another is please please let me know if can’t rp or busy! And also please do the characters justice as I will also do the same for you!

I do work Monday- Friday from 7:30 to 4:00 and try to reply during the day but sometimes it can’t happen but I will let you know when I can reply however I am not available on some Monday evenings or Saturday Mornings but any thing other than that I’m free and I will let you know if I am not. I run on CST time. I also only rp on Discord

Thank you for reading! If you're interested please do let me know you want httyd rp not just I saw your ad. I have ton of them.

.

[darkrpfinders]

Percy Jackson and HoO Fandom (OcxCC Only! Doubles Welcomed) Desperate!!!

🌊🦉🔥⚡️💎🐻❤️🌺

I’m 18+ and All Participants must be 18+ and all characters must be 18+

Please allow me to introduce myself! My name is Kim and my timezone is CST. I rp in third person and am semi literate. I will write 2-4 paragraphs each character and just ask you write no one liners.

OKAY WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DO CANON CHARACTERS WITH ORIGINAL CHARACTERS? Like don’t get me wrong I love OcxOc but I’d choose OcxCC any day over OcxOc.

Anyways I’ve always loved Percy Jackson growing up and I’ve read all the books. My favorite character is LEO FREAKING VALDEZ. Like BAD BOT SUPREME! Of course this would be aged up so maybe after everything maybe him and Calypso break up? Like honestly i love him. And i just want someone who can play him.

Like obviously being the son of Hephaestus working in the forge he’s gotta he muscular by now! And his personality? OH GOD! 10x more than what he was when he was 15!! Like I need him to dominate my oc but at the same time be the type that you touch her your dead. Like seriously I NEED IT!!! Btw my oc Is actually the daughter of Demeter! Heheh also I would like the rp to have 60/50 mature scenes and stuff. I can play anyone for you! I have to just say that I will not under any circumstances get play Octavian!! Like no! I do also want to talk about ocs and be friends and just get all cute with our Ocs hahaha and their respective partners.

Now Rules:

1. Be of Age because this is will have content not suitable for minors.

2. Next is reply length.. NO ONE LINERS

3. I'm a very enthusiastic person when it comes to rp, so please if you just want to write don't reach out. That may seem harsh but when writing I want someone who I can discuss head canons with, create playlists with and share thousand image Pinterest boards with...

4. Another is please please let me know if can’t rp or busy! And also please do the characters justice as I will also do the same for you!

PS. I have not read Trials of Apollo but have begun. I also only rp on Discord! Thank you for reading! If you're interested please do let me know you want PJO rp not just I saw your ad. I have ton of them.

.

[elleseekswritingpartners]

searching for Jujutsu Kaisen writing partners (updated, never expires)

MDNI. Elle. 20+. GMT. discord/tumblr/docs. I'm a long-term roleplayer and I will literally send you memes and HCs and create Pinterest boards and google docs one hour after we start talking because I'm both stupid and unhinged.

i'm show-based and not too stressed about keeping things canon. i honestly don't even understand half of the lore, so if you want to get technical / heavily explore worldbuilding and lore i'm not your girl lmfao i just love the concept of jjk and characters and i don't feel inclined to dive deeper than that - but i do want plots in the jjk word, not aus.

what i want to write:

satoru gojo* x utahime lori satoru gojo* x f!oc megumi fushiguro* x f!oc or nobara kento nanami x f!oc* kento nanami x shoko leiri shoko leiri x m!oc hiromi higuruma x f!oc hiromi higuruma x shoko leiri (idk how but i think it'd be interesting) toji fushiguro x f!oc

im also open to: suguru geto x shoko leiri suguru geto x f!oc

suguru geto x satoru gojo but only if you're a chill person. i love the dynamic and would like to give it a go, but i'm not comfortable writing popular ships and i don't want to stress myself.

[more abt me + rules under the cut, for accessibility reasons]

about me + rules:

i'm 25+ years old. i only want to interact with people who are 20+. this is non negotiable. i enjoy the occasional nsfw hc and drabble but i don't expect to write a lot of smut, i just don't want to write with people who are underaged.

i have 15 years of writing experience, however, it's ok to me if you're new to roleplaying - we all start somewhere.

i don’t have trigger warnings and enjoy writing potentially triggering topics like manipulation and memory loss etc, but lets always be respectful.

i love to plot and brainstorm. if you tell me "whatever works for you" "i can do whatever you want" and give me nothing to work with, i'll stop replying.

i usually write 3 or 4 solid paragraphs but i don't care about the length of your replies as long as you give me stuff to work with. i think writing extremely lengthy replies can actually be a disservice to certain scenes because you end up with a ton of paragraphs each focusing on its own thing and it gets confusing. i don't know why people equate length with quality. keeping things short is good sometimes.

for me, ships are the priority, brotps are the VERY welcome bonus.

i'm NOT interested in only having one plot/ship with my writing partner.

i actually enjoy writing both men and women and i expect my partners to as well. it's blatant when someone is forcing themselves to write a character they don't want to write. pls don't put me through this lol, if you do i'll stop replying.

my philosophy is to look at the world that is provided to us and turning it into our playground, changing things however we see fit. if you care intensely about keeping things canon and getting every detail about events and character’s personalities right, we won’t be compatible.

it’s important to me to approach plots and characters with realism (if you’re someone who doesn’t look forward to the possible character growth/development coming from the disagreements in a ship, i’m not your girl), but i WILL conjugate that realism with more gringy elements (like love triangles, pinning, and accidental pregnancies) because i believe life is too short to completely deprive ourselves from it.

i’ve a very devoted roleplay partner. i know life gets busy but i’m someone who loves to share hcs and brainstorm and make pinterest boards. i don’t expect fast replies but unless my partner lets me know they’re going to be inactive, if i don’t have any sort of interaction with them for over a week (this can be something as simple as pinning something to our pinterest boards), i do feel a bit like shit.

ty for reading!! don't forget to say hi if you're interested. ✨

[astrobei]

Been binge-reading your stuff for about a week. Absolutely wonderful. Heartwarming. Love it. Can’t wait for the final chapter of a body in motion.

As a fellow writer, kind of, in other mediums, sometimes: are you more of a pantser or more of an outliner? What does your process look like, if you feel like sharing? Have a great day!

hi omg i’m sooo so so glad you’ve been enjoying my writing recently !! and that is such an excellent question let me try to answer this in a somewhat coherent way LOL

i don’t really have much of a Process in a more structured sense of the term because honestly. up until i started chapter 2 of abim i had never outlined anything before and my fics would kind of just be a stream of consciousness where i figured out what the next scene was going to be as i wrote. with abim chapter 2, i did make the most barebones outline (like 10 bullet points w 10-15 words each) just listing the scenes because it’s a bit of a heavier fic and i wanted to keep things as cohesive as possible !! (it was also the first fic where i’ve ever jumped around and written scenes out of order which is normally very hard for me to do so this helped me keep track of that) i know some writers live and die by their outlines and honestly i’m starting to get the appeal, at least for fics i know are going to be more plot heavy or chaptered, just for continuity, but for plotless fluff-centric fics, i haven’t ever and don’t really see myself making them !!

one thing that is a common denominator between all my fics though, outline or otherwise, is that they’re all built upon one or two ideas for a scene that i kind of work backwards from. for example, in a body in motion, the last scene in chapter 2 was like. the first one that came to mind when i thought of the fic idea and i really did just work backwards from there !! sometimes it’ll be the kiss scene but more often than not it won’t be and i’ll put off the kiss until i physically cannot any longer LMAO but there’s usually one scene that the whole entire fic is based around and i feel like this is a pretty common thing as well but that’s where i get most of my ideas from!!

other than that uhhh usually my process is: start fic, write way way way way wayyy too much dialogue/banter, realize im not even halfway but i’m already at the word count i thought the whole fic would be, say fuck it and add more dialogue, finally write The Scene, fumble my way through a kiss, then say thank god i’m done and then edit and hit post before i can think about it too much. yeah.

thanks for asking !! i’m sure u did not intend to get a multi paragraph breakdown of Literally nothing of substance at all but. i love talking about writing and the process so thank u for indulging me !!! :^)

[dreaming-marchling]

Candle rollerskate juicebox dice mushroom planet candy tooth icecream tomato bug flower

on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

I think I'd have to go 5. Dead center because I really love the first like 15 times I read something lol. I re-read my writing a LOT in preparation for posting. So that initial edit when it's all really fresh and then later when I'm making it all cohesive to make sure it matches with the way the story flows is great. Then it gets really miserable and tedious. The final read through before I post is like dragging myself through mud.

describe your latest wip with five emojis

🌿🐻🐍🔒🌧️

share some personal lore you never posted about before

I don't talk about books much but I'm a huge reader outside of fics too. Like I own hundreds of books.

what stops you from writing more in your free time?

I have a hard time focusing. Fighting the "I feel emotionally blah, I'm just going to mindlessly scroll" thing is a battle some days.

share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I've not written it (yet) but I have kind of endless daydreams about Magnus using Pandemonium as an informal court for the warlocks (or just Downworlders in general but technically it's meant for the warlocks he leads) to bring him issues/requests. And then on nights when Alec is with him, this powerful Shadowhunter just drapes himself on Magnus, sits in his lap, sitting on the floor at his feet and laying his head on Magnus' leg... just not having to put on his Leader face and letting himself be Magnus' instead. Maybe only on Downworld night? And the Downworlders are unsure of how to take this but Magnus is very "he's surprisingly cuddly *shrug*" about it

name three good things going on in your life right now

I have two wonderful cats who make my home happier, I finally bought a new mattress (it's glorious) and though I'm dealing with some crap at work I do have a job that is not bad and allows me financial stability

post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I think this was the popular opinion and then the tide has since turned but I continue to loathe Nesta from the Court of Thorns and Roses series. The main justification after all those pages was like "you can't hate her, she hates herself" but like no, I can totally continue to hate her.

share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

Steam a cut up head of cauliflower, slowly roast 5 to however many garlic cloves as you want in a few tablespoons of butter (or oil), combine, season, thin with a little water (especially pasta water if going on pasta) and then blend in a food processor for like a decade. Literally walk away and start cleaning up your kitchen. Blend until you worry for the motor. It'll transform into the fluffiest creamiest garlicky "alfredo" sauce that won't break and get all greasy when you reheat later. Great for batch cooking that requires reheating.

name three good things about a character you hate

Jonathan in Shadowhunters: It wasn't his fault really, he loved Clary, his little move while he was activating Clary and Jace's runes was super smooth

give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I need to understand and internalize the difference between lay and lie. I can't forever go off what sounds right in my head and defying spellcheck. I'm sure some reader is like BITCH YES PLEASE lol

add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

“I will.” She promised. He hated dumping so much on her. Lying to the police, having to take care of Brian in the aftermath of something so major without him, calling everyone and having to tell their family and the team what had gone down… This was a lot to ask anyone.

They had no choice. Dom trusted her. He trusted her so fucking much.

do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

Unfortunately I am a weirdo who likes to keep all photographic evidence of my life off the internet but I do have 2 awesome cats. A tortie girl and a black boy who are littermates. They're 3 now. She never shuts up and he squeaks. She demands I wiggle the string constantly, he's literally got an anxiety disorder that in the last year has really let up its grip on him and he's like blossoming. They're great little monsters.

Thank you for asking!

[carochinha]

19 Questions for Fic Writers!

I got tagged by @storybookprincess, thank you so so so much!!!

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

Roughly... 16. That's not bad. Quite a respectable number!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

328,674

Damn. That a lotta word. Wild to think a third of those words are from a single fic huh

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bit of a lot of things. Hunter x Hunter and Daiya no Ace are my big ones, but I've also written for Kingdom Hearts, Haikyuu, Black Clover, Project Sekai and....... Homestuck.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"A Very Hisoka Wedding" stands head and shoulders above anything else at 1,143 kudos, which is legit insane. This fic isn't close to being my best. It isn't close to being my most innovative. It isn't even the longest! And yet it has more Hits, Kudos and Bookmarks than anything else I've ever written. Wild. Following that, we have "(Country Roads, Take Me)Home for the Holidays" at 365, my actual magnum opus so far, "Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice" at 321, a short Black Clover ficlet that somehow keeps getting love, "Weekend at Leorio's" at 295 and "Pink Love" at 256.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used not to respond to comments, but in the past couple of years I've been trying to respond to every comment I get. I like getting responses to my comments when I post on other fics, so I also want people to get that happiness. Besides, it's only polite!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

...what is angst, signed, a permanently happy ending girlie.

Anyway it's probably "Quadratum Has Pocky", a KH drabble I wrote for Pocky Day which did not leave me with a lot of space for happy endings.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally all of them LMAO

But I guess "Red Eyes, Take Warning", my HxHBB fic this year gets special mention by giving Kurapika, the fandom's tragic boy, a happily-ever-after.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes. Home for the Holidays got a couple of comments once we got to the spicy part about how I should have tagged which character topped. That was wild. I'm talking like, HUGE paragraphs.

But not usually, no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I did once! It was the vanillaest M/M ever written, but I sure did write it!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do really like inter-sports-anime crossovers. I once wrote a Haikyuu x Daiya no Ace ficlet that was quite fun!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not since I was 15 doing it myself translating my terrible Digimon fics into English lmao.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Favourite is a complicated word. All-time, however, isn't.

I've been an Akuroku girlie since 2005 and by GOD I will persist.

(the ship I most wish would become canon, however, is also from KH, but it's Soriku, which I've never even written about.....yet)

14. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My Hunter x Hunter Praxis AU.

Huge AU, spanning five years, each of which focusing on a different set of characters, with highly specific references to a highly specific university culture from my country that like two people reading would understand. It's also technically a Reincarnation AU.

Yeah I'm never getting that written.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Apparently, characterization and making my character actions and plots seem believable in the context of canon. Which is good, because I really do strive for character voice matching the original, so I'm happy with this assessment by my readers LMAO

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIBING ACTION.

If I ever have to write an action scene, I just don't. There is no combat in my fics, not because I dislike it, but because I can't write it lol.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Have done it. Will continue doing it when I find it appropriate. Helps when the POV character also isn't supposed to understand the language, because then you're just on the same page :D

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Digimon Adventure my beloved <3

(the fics themselves are also beloved, because although they're bad, I can see where I came from and how that shaped me into the writer I am today. My bad fics are a part of me and my journey just as much as my 100k word epics are.)

19. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Pausing + looking off into the distance.

You do realize this is an impossible question?

All the fics for me are... connections, within myself and with the people around me. Writing each one was a battle of finding the right words within me, the joy of sharing little snippets with friends, asking for help and bouncing off ideas. Listening to music and building the plot in my head as I walk, thinking about it as I fall asleep. Pouring my longing, my affection, my grief, and my hopes into these words, trying to connect with whoever will read them.

So I guess I'll say it's "All The Things He Said". It's the first fic I wrote for Daiya no Ace, a fandom I knew no one in. And I needed a beta. Trying to find that beta actually led me to finding one of my best friends, so I'm very thankful to this fic.

Anyway, tagging people! I'll tag @wingsonghalo because she had to read my bad Digimon fic and @tomioneer because of all I said in the last question!

[running-in-the-dark]

I've got more to say on that post (tw I'm insane I don't know what to tag this as its just. mental illness man idk.)

I'm really, really glad that other people apparently really don't know what it's like to feel like that. like you're not allowed to think certain things or that thinking them makes you bad.

because fuck I wish that was me.

I find it almost impossible to talk about this but I'm trying because I've found it's really the only thing that helps a little bit - and it feels like literal torture, like. I am having to actively fight every instinct in my head to be able to type any of it.

but. just. man I just can't. sometimes I can do it, but sometimes it's like now and I get so panicked about it that all the words just fucking disappear. literally can't talk about it.

okay, I'll try a different way. so. I get extremely obsessed with fictional characters (which you know if you've ever looked at this blog because duh). obviously that means I think about them. a lot. all the time really. and it's. it is really really hard, honestly. just like. imagine having to basically check every. little. thought. to see if there's anything there that could make you a bad person.

again, can't go into any more detail because My Brain (probably should stop saying that, I guess it's like, part of the ocd tendencies I have or whatever) won't fucking let me.

so, I'm trying to work on that, and for some reason I'm doing that by writing it down instead. because then I have like, the option to go back and look at it and be like actually this is probably fine. not horrible, not the worst thing anyone has ever thought, and even if it was - no one but me is ever going to see this, so why should it even matter?

but more than anything it's like. shown me how fucking insane that is. I literally can't even write so much as like. a hug. without feeling like I'm the most disgusting piece of shit ever (lots of complicated reasons but it boils down to basically. well you're thinking about his body. and that his body would feel nice. and that is absolutely not allowed in any way). when I've said that I'm writing some insane shit I don't mean like haha, this is sooo dirty hehe :3 no guys I mean it is literally insane and mostly me literally having to write paragraphs of dialogue in which the character assures me that it's okay and I'm not horrible for thinking that and. like I'm literally writing him as if he's my fucking therapist because that's the only way I can justify it in my own head.

like, I am not exaggerating when I say that I've made myself feel like I'm physically ill from overthinking this so much. I literally felt like I had a fever because I got so extremely stressed out about it. I think that was about like. holding hands or some shit. I'm 32 fucking years old. I'm literally married (won't even get into that but fuck dude just imagine being like this and. yeah).

and the funniest part about all of that is that I feel so unbelievably ashamed about all of it that I don't think I could even mention it to a therapist or whatever. like the thought alone is so absolutely horrifying that it makes me feel like I need to be punished for it. so I just convince myself that well it can't really be OCD anyway because I don't even have compulsions anymore (even though I did, and they affected my life so much for like, 15 years at least), and well even if it could still be that even without the compulsions well it's not that bad really. I mean I don't have the issues that people with actual OCD have, it doesn't really affect me, so what if I can't think about fucking that fictional guy, imagine how much a therapist would laugh at you for thinking you should get help with that, nope your brain is just fundamentally broken (it's always been that way after all, so it can't be something like that, no you're just broken and wrong and that's why all your thoughts are bad, you're just the worst person on Earth).

I can't explain how hard it is to even like. just talk about the most mundane shit. like let's say there's a picture of The Guy and I think he looks good. it's such a struggle to let myself say that. like literally, something as fucking basic as that. literally anything that is an admission of 'hi I've thought about his face and his body and I think they look kind of nice' makes me feel like I should literally die. that's why I've been trying to say that shit as much as I can lately, with the reasoning being well if I just keep doing it and nothing horrible happens it'll get easier right? (nope it doesn't, not really)

and like, there's so much more to it than social media, obviously. like it's probably 99% my upbringing (didn't even fucking realise until very recently that a lot of it is based on religious stuff because I didn't understand that my family was even that religious. yeah I don't get it either. but there's way more than the religion aspect, just pretty much everything about my childhood and my parents and. everything). but it does play a huge part in it for me and. I don't know what to do about that and I'll probably do nothing because doing anything is hard and I'm already completely overwhelmed by everything.

yeah idk all of that came from thinking about that video too much, idk, I'm shutting up now

[darkdoverpseeker]

Hello! My name is Gin 🕊 🖤 I am 30. I require anyone who would like to role play with me to be at least 25+.

I prefer to world build along with whomever I am roleplaying with. I am only interested in writing M/M relationships. I am mostly interested in roleplaying “darker” themed stories. If the plot has a "victim" role, I prefer to play that role. 

Currently, I have been wanting to write a Royalty themed rp. This specific plot involves kidnapping/brainwashing. I wish to write the character who is kidnapped. (I will discuss more with you if you are interested.)

Please be willing to write literate / novella responses. 

Preferred rp medium: Discord

Notes:  I enjoy talking to my fellow roleplayer OOC. I believe it is important for us to know one another and brainstorm a story together, so please don’t feel afraid to talk to me, but also understand that I am looking for someone to rp with, so if you want to talk ooc, you can do so but please try to respond to the rp as well. 

-I will not roleplay only smut. I expect any roleplay to be 80-100% story and 0-20% smut. I don’t mind smut, in fact I do at times enjoy rping it especially if it has something to do with the story. However, it becomes extremely tedious, which is why I insist on a roleplay that is mostly story. 

-I have been writing for 15+  years now. That being said, I have learned that anyone can write well. That does not mean that everyone will. I insist, if you roleplay, with me that you at least attempt to write well. I expect detailed responses 1-3 paragraphs at least  (I understand that at times it is difficult to think of much to say at one time, so I am willing to forgive one or two short responses every so often), I expect proper grammar (use capitalizations, spell correctly, attempt to use proper sentence structure, ect), basically write like you care about what you are writing. I enjoy writing very much, I hope to find a roleplaying partner who feels the same way and will respect the rules of writing as such. 

- I expect at least 1 post a week, I understand that people have lives outside of the “online world” and I will be completely understanding if you warn me that you will be unable to respond. However, if you simply do not respond for an entire week, then I will no longer rp with you. I will note here that I do have a full-time job, so I am typically understanding when someone tells me that they need a few weeks to respond. I should be able to respond in a day or two myself at the most, although I typically enjoy fast-paced rps.

-I know I have quite a few rules, but I want to find roleplayers that have an interest in writing and will take what we do seriously. I have found quite a few great rpers in the past and hope to find more in the near future.

- Please like this post and I will contact you to see if we will be a good fit. 

like if interested !

[caffeiiine]

what are your favorite self indulgent hcs (that you're comfortable sharing) i like hearing people talk about their personal favorite hcs

majority of my hcs are self indulgent tbh, unless you’re referring to hcs where i project onto characters. i don’t have many of those since it feels a bit odd to put so much of myself in a character iykwim. otherwise favorite hcs i literally can’t choose bc there’s so many good ones!!!

i’ll include a few of each to hopefully get what what you asking for. they’re all mixed around.

+ sigma really likes weighted blankets, sleeps with 2 stacked each night and can’t sleep without them.

projection hcs:

+ akutagawa is aroace!!!!! [maybe agender too, triple negative] + akutagawa has a really difficult time with words and articulating what he wants/articulating affection in a genuine/soft way

+ nikolai having a slight stutter is my everything

i used to have others but i don’t like them anymore since i was in a really bad mindset/generally had shitty mental health when i made them. i am a lot better now for sure though and making fun hcs instead 👍

otherwise favorites:

+ dazai and gift giving has my whole heart forever

+ i saw a hc once that dazai found a snake when he went to meet chuuya for the first time in 15 and i’ve hung onto that since

+ also dazai and misnomers; little shit probably names the snake something like sheep. partially in reference to chuuya, and partially in reference to the fact it does not look like a sheep whatsoever nor has any characteristics of a sheep.

+ i saw another hc once, i think this one came from @/inamagicalhallucination that the ada got dazai ti text kenji whenever he did something productive

+ nikolai enjoys dark chocolate, sigma likes dark chocolate, fyodor also likes dark but is partial to milk chocolate. something about their ideal flavors contrasting with their characters makes me love it more

+ taking this from a fic i read once [Lets dance a waltz by odas_curry on ao3 very good fic despite barely any paragraph breaks] Nikolai knows how to dance pretty well and will take sigma to dance with him on occasion

+ nikolai sometimes pops into the casino to play with/style sigmas hair and then just leaves once he’s satisfied

[lemonsbakery]

tribute to my first cr oc, I made her on this very day last year. Her name is Strawberry Cat Cookie, she likes the nickname cc though!

click below for a massive thank you paragraph from me to her (INCLUDING A BUINCH OF MY FRIENDS BTW LOL) and a bunch of funfacts about her, like her design history!

I made cc to roleplay in a public cr rp server, there I met some of my closet friends; Roffy(P0ff/Rockstar), Norry(Norman), Klee, Mags, and Flame. There we made our own server, the cookie run Infected Au. From that server we all grew closer and closer, cc was there for it all and she still is. CC started many friendships in my life and helped me escape a toxic relationship I was in at the same time. If I never made her I would've never gotten tumblr, my friend Norman sent me Almonds (FRIEND. NOT THE COOKIE.) youtube channel and was like 'BRO LOOKT THIS ECLAIR ANIMATION OMGMGM' and I checked it out! after a while of lurking in silence under Almond's posts I started leaving these fucking massive analyses under Almonds posts, then I found out Almond had an askblog for an au he made...so I got tumblr to ask Roquefort what eyeliner brand they used(I WILL FIND OUT SOMEDAY IM TELLING YOU.). I started trying to figure out how to work tumblr, and then my friend Kye found my tumblr and sent me an ask abt how we have sm blorbos in common!(I THINK??)! Kye asked for my discord and I gave it to her, then we became good friends! That helped me start becoming more social on tumblr, that helped me realize that this website is a place where I can meet so many cool people..and I did! Its all thanks to this oc I made. I never thought I would hold an oc so dear but here I am writing a paragraph about how much a literal cookie oc has changed my life. shes gone through SO MANY DESIGN CHANGES ITS ACTUALLY BAFFLINF|

The first one was made in my magic oven (DUH), she was originally going to be called 'Strawberry Fudge Cookie', she was going to be a sarcastic 15-year-old who lost her sister at a young age then I remembered the cookie cat theme song from steven universe and I was like 'OH WE'RE GOING WITH THAT.' And I made her first USED design (the one AFTER the my magic oven sc), SHE was going to be a graceful 14 year old who lost her sister in a hunting accident since..yk cats then I decided to change her age to 12 and I decided to change up her backstory entirely, she was officially a very soft spoken cookie who stood up for her friends ONLY and spoke up when her friends couldn't do it themselves. then i joined the infected au, and everything changed./pos She now is involved in many AU's, like the disease au, villain au, infected au, etc! CC helped me improve my writing, my art, myself. She peaked my interest in psychology, she was something to talk about when I had nothing to talk about. Without CC I would be a MUCH different person. I think you get the point, basically..if you know me or are friends with me and met me through cookie run THANK THIS OC. Thank you for you time, Happy birthday CC <3

[primewritessmut]

For the WIP ask: 9, 15, and 26. ♥︎

9. what are you struggling with the most in finishing your current wip(s)?

oh. ugh. just went right for the jugular with that one.

most of my wips are in fandoms that i've been a part of for a long time (at least in the grand scheme of things) and i'm tired (??) of the fandom. idk if tired is the right word, but it's just started to feel more like a chore than something that i enjoy which is why i'm technically "on hiatus" for at least one of them.

in my other wips, i'm stuck on a cliff staring across at the scene that i really want to write and realizing that i'm the one that has to build the bridge to get there. 🫠

15. what’s your least favorite thing about writing?

that my brain works faster than my hands. i'm a decent typist but i still can't keep up. (i have literally no idea how people write pen to paper, although, in hindsight, slowing down probably wouldn't be bad for me). sometimes, once i've typed my way through a current paragraph or sequence of dialogue, i'll have forgotten what i wanted to have happen next even thought I KNOW that it was fully written and in the back of my mind just waiting to get out three minutes ago. then i have to cue my "sit and stare at the screen willing it to come back" protocol and that thing has a terrible success rate.

26. is there a wip you’d like to see recreated in a new medium (ie. movie, audio drama podcast, web series, animation, musical)?

i've been told that Songs for the Zombie Apocalypse would translate really well to a graphic novelization bc it's these short, sharp slices of story all strung together. honestly, i would love to see it, but that would require finding an artist willing to draw some, shall we say, creative methods of zombie (and human) disposal.

there's also a wip that's been sitting in my folders for a while that i go and tap around in occasionally that would be an amazing audio drama podcast. although maybe i only think that because it was partially inspired by The Bright Sessions...

(i am physically holding myself back from monologuing about it because i really, really want to write it and finish it, and not talking about it will force me to do that. hopefully.)

WIP ask game

[sailoryooons]

You’re naked. God why are you naked? How did you get here? Where the fuck are you? Has got to be one of the best third paragraphs to a fic I've ever fucking seen lmfao. I literally laughed out loud so hard that I sent myself into a coughing fit that woke up Atlas and he was less than pleased. I was like dude idk blame Sarah for having the funniest opening to a fic in 2023.

Full review under the cut because I get unhinged and babble like a lunatic about this fic and its long

“You know how much I love chasing you, baby.” Oh I am a twisted fuck that made my eyes roll back into my head and actually ascend to heaven. There is no reason that should make me so *bites fist* and yet here I am absolutely suffering for a single sentence. 

First and foremost - I love that I can picture exactly what your describing outside. Like everything is awash and grey and swirling clouds above, the wrought iron gate, the gorgoyals. It is such a specific imagery that you call to mind here - not only with the images of the Nightmare Before Christmas movie itself, but it makes me think of like… old school Scooby Doo and Beetle Juice and other Halloween movies with this specific imagery that you’ve used that evokes the same feeling watching those. 

He lifts a hand in a wave as he menacingly tilts his head to the side and smiles. No but be for real because he’s sexy for that I’m sorry I literally don’t make the rules. 

Can I just say how fucking funny it is to have the imagery of reader walking around naked in a sheet in a fucking Halloween village where everyone knows who she is and she’s just one giant, scared question mark. Literally I would feel like I was on drugs and this poor reader is just like … cool cool cool this is happening and I am basically naked soifdfgoidjr

Okay………. Not gonna lie that mad scientist Jin being a little crazy and whispering in her ear has me biting my lip and tucking my hair behind my ear cause why is that hot. Again I’m just … down several shades of bad. 

Can I pause reading this for a second and talk about like … how sad it is that she forgets? Like all of these little creatures that she loves and this friendship she has with Jin despite his forceful creation of her and even her love for Jungkook, regardless of it’s nature… him carrying her home and her seeing all the places she loved really hammers home this like… sadness in me when she wakes up and forgets everything, honestly. 

Sighs dreamily. I want a boyfriend who will murder for me.

Jungkook’s heavy footsteps make the floorboards creak as he walks into the room. You throw a hand over your mouth to keep from making any noises. Jungkook undoes the buckle of his belt and a moment later slips it from his belt loops and lets it clang against the hardwood floor. I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane i’m insane I’M INSAEI’MAINSEI’MSINAEI’MINSANE

I’M INSANE OH I’M INSANE OHHHHHH THIS IS REWIRING MY BRAIN OHHHHH I’M CRAZY I’M FUCKED UP SOMEONE HELP ME

Okay this was one of my favorite things I read this year. The chasing, the knife play, the switch from sweet to dangerous and back again? Reader and Jungkook have such a good dynamic and the end where she’s gentle and asking even if I forget? Was so fucking sweet I am kicking my feet. I hate that I waited until 1:15 in the morning on a Saturday to be like hey I didn’t read this yet I should just pick this up and go to bed I’ll be normal after except I’M NOT NORMAL AND NOW I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SLEEP WITH THIS ROTTING MY BRAIN ON THE INSDIE.

GOODNIGHT. 

simply meant to be | jjk

☾ Title: Simply Meant to Be ☾ Pairing: pumpkin king!jungkook x fem reader ☾ Genre/AU: nightmare before Christmas au, romance, horror, smut ☾ Rating: m (18+) ☾ WC: 4.6K ☾ Warnings: this is not your average nightmare before christmas, its pretty dark and unhinged. jungkook is jack skellington. reader is somewhat of a sally character. jungkook calls you immortelle (it means everlasting), jungkook has face tattoos (you'll see), monsters, fear, seokjin appearing as Dr. Finkelstein hehe, electrocution therapy, being held against will, jungkook unalives someone, a game of cat and mouse, mentions of blood, smut in the forms of: kissing, grinding, fingering, unprotected sex, knife play, blood play, creampie ☾ Summary: you aren’t sure how any of it can be real. This place…these creatures…this man. You wake up next to a man you’ve never seen before with no memory of who he is or where you are. But everyone in town seems to know you. You belong to the Pumpkin King. Scared and utterly terrified you run into someone who claims they can help you remember. And now you’re starting to wonder if that’s truly what you want. ☾ Authors Note: hello darklings! Please enjoy my trick for the Fantasy and Fangs halloween collab! this fic became so much more unhinged than i originally planned lol. it may not be for everyone! just e sure to check my warnings before you proceed with the fic. this is heavily unedited.

Your body jolts upright, lungs immediately gasping for breath.

Panic surges through every nerve as you frantically look around at your surroundings and grasping at the thin sheet you find bunched around your hips. 

You’re naked. God why are you naked? How did you get here? Where the fuck are you?

Your heart pounds in your chest as you look next to you in bed and see that someone is lying next to you. A broad back and muscular arms covered in tattoos leading up to a head of messy black hair that covers the persons face lies snoring quietly against the sheets.

“Shit.” You mumble, wrapping the thin sheet around your body as you scramble out of the bed. The man lying in the bed stirs slightly and reaches into the space where your body once was. 

You don’t wait to see anything else, dashing for the bedroom door and stumbling into the very dark hallway. The only light comes from the cobweb covered candle sconces that line the black painted walls. 

You adjust the sheet around you the best you can before taking off running down the hallway. There is an immediate feeling that you’re being watched and you make the mistake of turning around to look behind you. 

The dark shadowy silhouette of a man stands where you had just been a moment ago. You beg your feet to move faster.

Before you reach the top of the stairs, you glance back over your shoulder once more to see what you can only describe as a jack o lantern grin light up and stretch across the face of the man taking his time moving towards to you down the hallway.

“Where are you going, immortelle?”

A voice comes into your mind and almost causes you to fall face first down the winding spiral staircase in front of you.

“Please leave me alone.” You beg as you rush down the stairs. You don’t make it far before you suddenly feel hands gripping at your ankles. Hands with claws….some covered with slime…reaching from under the stairs and tearing at the sheet keeping your naked body from being exposed.

You scream until your throat hurts. Kicking at the hands as you continue to fight your way down the stairs.

“You know how much I love chasing you, baby.”

Somehow you manage to make it to the bottom of the stairs, but you almost wish that you hadn’t when you fall against the front door and throw it open.

You must be hallucinating with fear.

Outside the sky is black and grey swirls of clouds in constant motion, you know if you stared too long you’d become dizzy. Instead, your eyes wonder around to the bare trees surrounding the house you just made your way out of. Just a few leaves hang on for dear life as the wind quite literally howls through the air.

Down the crooked stone steps in front of you is a huge iron gate with two giant pumpkin designs bent into the bars. Gargoyles sit atop every stone post surrounding the house. 

Wasting no more time, you descend the stairs until you’ve reached the iron gate, shaking the bars when it doesn’t budge.

“Please open. Please.” You shove with your shoulder as hard as you can and the gate loudly creaks open just enough for you to squeeze out into the open street. 

You turn around and shove the gate back shut, looking up at the top of the stairs where the man who had been chasing you through the house now stands with a smile on his half tattooed face and his arms crossed over his bulky bare chest.

You can see even from here that the tattoos on the left side of his face are skull like features. It’s absolutely terrifying.

He lifts a hand in a wave as he menacingly tilts his head to the side and smiles.

Fuck this.

You wrap the blanket tighter around you and take off down the street without a single clue as to where you are. Anywhere has to be better than where you just were.

You spoke too soon again.

The sight in front of you as you round the corner is just as terrifying as that house and that man.

There are monsters, literal monsters, standing in the streets. Selling items at market booths. Chasing their children on the sidewalks. Laughter…and screams. It’s a terrible mix of sounds.

You freeze as a bouncy ball belonging to what you can only assume is a swamp monster child rolls against your feet.

“Happy first day after Halloween Ms Y/N!” The little creature says, staring at you expectantly.

Your instincts tell you not to scream. If you scream it will only make things worse.

“You know my name?” Your voice shakes and so do your hands as you continue holding the blanket around your body.

“Are you alright, miss?” The child’s mother appears behind him, looking at you with concern.

“I um…I should go.” Your bare feet move to cross the street, making you pause when you step in something wet. You know that it’s blood before you even look down. Vomit threatens to fill your mouth but you continue walking away, dragging the train of the sheet you’re wearing through more of the bloody streets.

More monsters stare at you as you go. Some with long sharp teeth and claws that could easily slice through a normal humans delicate skin. Some walked on two feet and some slithered across the ground like sickly serpents. 

“Are you lost?” A horrifying witch grabbed your arm and tried to pull you back into the street.

“No, no I’m just on my way somewhere.” You lie the best you can, yanking your arm away only to immediately see deeps scratches from her long nails.

“So sorry miss.” She cackles, moving to join two other witches who were waiting for her on the other side of the street. They all continued their uneasy laughing until you turned the corner up ahead.

As you turned the corner you ran hard into something. Or someone it would appear when you looked up.

“What are you doing out here in nothing but a blanket, Y/N?” The man asks, pushing a pair of glasses up onto his nose.

This man had stitches across his forehead and down around his neck. Like some kind of Frankenstein’s monster, he’s been sewn together.

“Do I know you? Why does everyone here know my name?” You step back to put space between you and the monster.

“Ah, I see. Come with me.” He turns and begins walking but stops when you don’t follow. “I can help you. Come.” He holds out a hand, and while you don’t know what the fuck is happening, something tells you it’s okay to trust this stranger. 

You take his hand.

“Who are you?” You finally ask.

“I’m a friend. Dr. Kim Seokjin.” He swings your hands between you in a silly way. “You usually call me Jin. Sometimes Jinnie.”

“Jin.” You repeat, the name feeling familiar on your tongue. “Where are we going?”

“To my lab. I have things that can help you there.” Jin turns another corner and up ahead you can see a tall crooked tower looming in the distance.

“Your lab is in there?” 

“It is. Don’t worry Y/N, I promise you’re safe with me.”

You swallow hard but continue to let Jin lead you inside the tower and up, up, up the long spiraling stairs until you reach a door that he slides open.

Inside is a room filled with equipment and various experiments. Glass beakers filled with colorful liquid bubble and burble over small open flames. Sparks fly from wires that connect to different machines and some that connect to nothing at all. There are also several control panels at the center of the room with gurneys situated next to them.

“What kind of doctor are you, Jin?” Your voice shakes a little.

“The helpful kind.” He answers with a menacing grin on his face and a flicker of something slightly insane in his eyes.

“Wh-what do you have here that can help me?” You look down at the dirty blanket still wrapped around your body.

“First,” he grabs your hand again and leads you to a side room that has a cot with some folded clothes lying on top of it, “you can use those clothes to change into, okay? Whatever you want.” 

“Thank you.” You step into the small room and turn to face him. “Is something really wrong with me? Something that makes me not remember?”

“Everything is fixable. I’ll have you as good as new in no time.” Jin winks and closes the door behind him so that you can change in private.

You dress in a daze, still feeling very off kilter from everything that’s unfolded from the moment you opened your eyes. Flashes of the man you woke up next too and his terrifying tattooed face race across your memory and leave chills over your skin.

“Ready now?” Jin calls from outside the door. You take a deep breath and walk back out into the laboratory. “Why don’t you take a seat on one of those?” He motions to the gurneys at the center of the room.

Reluctantly, you walk over to them and sit on the thin mattress. It crumples under your weight and immediately sends a sense of dread swimming into your veins.

“How can you fix me?” You barely get the sentence out before Jin is next to you, situating your arms at your sides and wrapping leather straps around your wrists. “What are you doing?” Panic thick in your voice.

“This is how we fix you. Bite this.” He puts a leather strap up to your mouth.

“Are you crazy?! I’m not doing this. Let me go!” You pull against the restraints, thrashing your head and body in an attempt to get the fuck away.

“I know it’s a little frightening. You do this every time. One of your only flaws.” Jin shakes his head, sounding disappointing.

“Flaws? What are you talking about!?” 

“You’re my creation. I made you.” He tilts his head and smiles, “and you’re absolutely perfect except for that mind of yours. It resets. Forgets.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“Creation?! I’m a human being! I’m not some experiment! What is wrong with you?” Hot tears starts to leak from the corners of your eyes and blur your vision.

“You’re so adorable sometimes.” Jin yanks on your restraints to tighten them, “sit still, Y/N.” 

“You’re hurting me.” You whimper.

“You think that hurts?” Jin smiles before he begins sticking sticky pads to your head and neck. “Just wait.” He whispers into your ear.

You’re such an idiot to have trusted this monster. You were so sure that he was good. A friend. He felt like a friend when you saw him. Familiar.

“Please…don’t.” You beg just before he forcefully shoves the piece of leather between your teeth.

“You’ll thank me soon.”

Terror freezes your body as you watch him slam down a lever on one of the control tables, green electric waves traveling down the wires and entering your body in trembling shocks.

You don’t know how long you lay there, screaming through the pain before you pass out from how much electricity Jin lets pass into your body. But eventually the room goes black and the last thing you hear is Jin manically laughing from across the room.

“It’s getting worse.”

“I tweaked some things this time. I’m hopeful it lasts longer.”

“It better. I’m tired of losing her.”

You hear quiet voices as you begin to come to. Voices that you recognize almost immediately.

“Jungkook?” Your voice croaks. Almost immediately the door to the small room slides open and the silhouette of the only person you want to see fills the doorway.

“You’re okay, immortelle?” Jungkook rushes into the room and kneels next to the cot you’re laying on.

“What happened to me? Why am I in Jinnie’s lab?” You turn your head to face him when he cups your cheeks in his hands.

“You had another episode, my sweet.” He brings your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles one by one.

“Episode?” Your brows draw together in confusion.

“You forgot who you were. That you belong to me. You forgot it all.” Jungkook looks sad while he explains and it breaks your heart.

“How could I forget you?” You sit up slowly and he helps you. “How could I forget my love?”

“It’s not your fault, immortelle. Don’t blame yourself.” Jungkook looks over his shoulder at Jin who stands in the doorway. Jin rolls his eyes before walking away.  

“Take me home?” You ask, wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s neck when he picks you up into his arms bridal style.

“Of course.” 

Jungkook carries you down the long winding staircase of the laboratory and outside where it’s pitch black besides the white melting candles inside the lamp posts along the street.

A smile pulls across your face when you see all the monsters that you love busy in the streets. They all smile back at you, tossing greetings and wishes of quick recoveries your way.

“They love you.” Jungkook whispers into your ear.

“No. They love you, you’re their pumpkin king. I’m just lucky enough to be yours.” You touch the skull details tattooed on the side of his face so he looks at you.

“You’ll be their queen soon.” He reminds you. You lean up to kiss his lips.

“Let’s get something to eat before we go home. I’m famished.” Jungkook sits you on your feet but keeps your hand in his.

Jungkook talks with some of the shop owners and you watch as he gathers all of your favorite things into a basket. Wines, cheeses, and some sweet treats leftover from the night before. You love him so.

You make your way over to a stand selling haunted dolls and look around at all the choices. You’re about to go back to find Jungkook when someone grabs your arm and twists you around.

“You’re so pretty.” The drunken vampire says, the smell of blood thick on his breath. He’s had too much.

“I appreciate your compliment, but I need you to let go of my arm.” You pull away but he doesn’t let go.

“Don’t be that way. Come with me.” He stumbles and almost falls on top of you.

“Get off of me!” You say louder but the vampire doesn’t listen, it’s nails scratching through your skin. You’re about to scream for Jungkook when he’s suddenly there, ripping the vampires hand from your arm.

“May I ask what you think you’re doing? Touching what’s mine?” Jungkook says too calmly.

“I…I didn’t recognize Ms. Y/N…I didn’t realize.” The vampire stumbles over his words.

“Is that your excuse?” Jungkook laughs, the terrifying cackling sound sending tingles through your body.

You know what’s going to happen next, and the thrill alone has you aching between your legs.

“I’m sorry, I’ll never make the mistake again.” The vampire takes a few steps back.

“Immortelle?” Jungkook looks over his shoulder to you. He’s asking a silent question that you already know the answer to. You nod yes as a smile spreads across your face.

“Remember in your next life my friend, to keep your filthy hands off my girl.” Before you can blink his hand is shooting out between them and into the vampires chest cavity. He holds it there a moment so that he can watch the life drain slowly drain from the vampire before he yanks his hand back out holding the still thumping heart in his hand.

The vampire falls to the ground in a lifeless heep, his eyes still open and eternally full of the fear he last experienced. The crowd around the market doesn’t take offense, they know if their pumpkin kills someone it was for a damn good reason.

Jungkook turns towards you, handing the heart to one of the children playing with the body on the ground. He pats their head and then slowly brings his hand up to his mouth, licking a thick stripe from the bloody palm of his hand to the tip of his middle finger, all while keeping eye contact with you.

You smile, closing the space between the two of you and claiming his mouth. Your tongue seeks out the blood that’s dropped down his chin and around his lips.

“It never gets old…watching you kill for me.” You breathe into his mouth while his blood hands lace into the strands of your hair.

“We need to get home before I show everyone here how well I fuck you.” His mouth leaves hot kisses against your neck as he leads you backwards down the street until your back hits the iron bars of a familiar gate.

Home.

The gate loudly creaks open as soon as it realizes the two of you have arrived. Jungkook stops kissing you to take your hand and walks with you up the stone stairs to the front door that also opens all on its own, the door knocker welcoming you home.

“Do you want to play?” You whisper, making Jungkook pause at the bottom of the stairs. Those tattooed details raising into a smile.

“Okay, immortelle. Let’s play.” He kisses the top of your hand before taking a step back. He slowly slips of his black and white striped suit jacket and unbuttons his shirt before it joins the jacket on the floor.

You soak in the tattooed planes of his body, the muscles begging to be touched. His dark falling over his forehead as he steps back farther into the shadows until he’s completely disappeared from your sight.

“You know what happens if I catch you, immortelle.” His voice floats into your ear from somewhere unknown. “Don’t let me catch you.” 

A thrill shoots through your body again and you sprint for the stairs, loving the way the monsters and ghouls grab at your ankles and whisper your name. You immediately turn left at the top of the stairs, your mind going a million miles an hour trying to think of where you could hide.

He knows all of the good places for hiding.

In a last ditch idea, you run into your shared bedroom upon hearing Jungkook’s footsteps running up the stairs. He took this game of chase so seriously and never took it slowly.

You slide under the bed, your chest heaving in fear but also excitement. You’re hoping by hiding somewhere obvious that he won’t even think to look here and waste his time checking all of the usual spots you tend to hide.

“Where are you, immortelle?” You hear his menacing voice out in the hallway coming closer. You almost giggle. “You know I’ll find you. I will always find you.”

You hear his footsteps stop outside the bedroom door and then the door slowly opens right after, lightly hitting against the wall behind it. 

Jungkook’s heavy footsteps make the floorboards creak as he walks into the room. You throw a hand over your mouth to keep from making any noises. Jungkook undoes the buckle of his belt and a moment later slips it from his belt loops and lets it clang against the hardwood floor.

“Are you soaked for me right now, my love?” You watch with wide eyes as Jungkook slowly walks around the bed. “I’ll find out soon enough.”

He doesn’t say anything else and when you look around at the floor you notice that he’s no longer next to the bed, his black boots no longer anywhere in sight. You release a long breath of relief.

And then you’re being yanked by the ankle from beneath the bed, a startled scream escaping you as you flip onto your back just in time to see Jungkook trap you with his body against the floor.

“You caught me.” You smile, lifting your hips up to meet his, desperate for friction against your core.

“Don’t I always?” His mouth is on yours, his hands pushing your dress up around your hips.

He was desperate for you too.

“I love you.” You whisper on his lips, the tattooed skeleton grin on his beautiful face turning upwards.

Jungkook sits up on his knees between your legs giving you a full view of his naked torso. Pretty muscles and flawless skin that you ached to leave your mark on. Scratches and bite marks and bruises were the only things that could make him more perfect.

Your chest heaves as you watch him reach behind his back in the band of his black dress pants to retrieve a silver shiny knife. Your pulse quickens immediately.

“Is this what you want, immortelle?” He presses the cold steel flat against the inside of your thigh, keeping the blade from cutting you just yet.

“Will you torture me?” You ask, your hands coming up to cup your breasts with anticipation.

“Absolutely.” Jungkook moves the knife farther up your skin until the point brushes over underwear. You moan pathetically at the feel of it brushing over your center and slowly sliding over onto your other thigh.

“Jungkook…” you sigh.

“Be patient. I’ll give you what you want.” Jungkook uses his other hand to undo the button and zipper of his pants, pushing them down until his perfect cock springs free from the confines.

You bite your lip at the sight in front of you. Jungkook slowly strokes himself to the sight of the knife moving across your skin. He draws the sharp side of the blade oh so gently across your stomach, so sharp you don’t even feel it draw blood. The view of you on display for him makes him groan and move his hand a bit rougher up and down his shaft. 

Your fingers move on their own accord, slipping through the small pool of blood on your stomach and moving them back over your breasts to smear the crimson liquid in a trail.

“Fuck. Fuck you’re so perfect.” Jungkook moves the knife to your throat, gently leaving one long cut from one side to the other. You immediately feel warm blood leave the wound and drip down the sides of your neck.

Jungkook drops the knife to the floor and bends over your body to attach his mouth to your neck. He licks and sucks at your blood, whimpering at the taste of it on his tongue. Your body instinctively arches from the ground, your chest rubbing against his and spreading more of your blood between your bodies. It was the most beautiful visual you could imagine.

You looked down between your bodies to see Jungkook’s hand still stroking his cock as he continues to move his mouth down your body to the cut on your stomach. You can barely stand the burn in the pit of your stomach any longer, your desire for the man on top of you smoldering too hot.

“I need you now. Please.” You lace your hands into Jungkook’s hair and lift his face. The sight of his face covered in your blood, his eyes solid black with lust almost does you in completely.

“Such a good girl, saying please.” He moves back onto his knees, squeezing precum from the head of his cock before he releases it completely and picks the knife back up off the floor. You watch in awe as he brings it to his mouth and licks the blood from the blade.

“I always want to be good for you.” You say sweetly. His cock twitches at the sound of your obedient voice.

Jungkook moves the knife down between your legs and ever so carefully pressed the sharp blade to your underwear and drags it down until the fabric slices apart and reveals your absolutely drenched pussy to him. The knife clangs to the floor again and Jungkook leans back down to claim your mouth, his thumb immediately finding your clit.

Your lips part to moan and his tongue swipes against yours swallowing up all the sounds that escape you. The dripping head of his cock suddenly swipes through your folds and causes a high pitched whine to bubble up your throat.

“Is your pussy desperate to be filled, immortelle?” His hand swipes the blood on your stomach before it’s back on his cock, the blood lubing his shaft to make it easier when he fucks himself into you.

“Yes. It hurts, Jungkook.” You let your hands wander his chest and stomach, watching him watch you.

“I’m not going to last long once I get inside your perfect pussy, my love. But I need you to cum and I need you to scream.” Without warning he roughly spears himself inside you, his hands holding you on his cock as you writhe from the sudden intrusion.

“Oh my fucking god.” Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he starts to move, rough and hard.

“Made for me. I literally had you made just for me and you’re perfect. So fucking perfect and pliant just for me.” Jungkook’s hand comes down to your throat, careful of the cut across your skin, he gently tightens his grip.

You immediately see stars, wrapping both of your hands around his wrist to keep him in place. You gasp and moan at the feeling of him controlling your breathing and ruining your pussy at the same time. 

“I’m going to come. God I’m coming right now.” The words are quiet as he continues to hold your throat but he hears you just fine, moving his hand from your throat to play with your clit.

“Scream. I need you to scream so I can fill you up.” You open your eyes to see Jungkook watching you, his hair sweaty and mouth parted. Just when you’re about to beg for a kiss he punches your clit between his fingers and your orgasm rolls through you like a hurricane.

Black and white sparks explode behind your eyes and though you can’t hear yourself, you know that you scream loud and high pitched. Just what Jungkook needs to find his own end, dropping on top of you as he continues to fill you past the brim and onto your thighs.

Dried blood scratches between your skin and his as he lies on top of you, his head against your chest and your hands roaming the expanse of his broad shoulders. 

“You’re okay, immortelle?” He finally asks through his heavy breathing.

“I am, of course.” You lift his face to place a kiss to his lips.

“We didn’t even make it to the bed this time.” He laughs lightly, groaning as he pulls out and helps you sit up with him.

“I didn’t mind.” You both smile knowing he feels the same.

“I’ll never mind being with you, immortelle. Never.” He touches your cheek and kisses your lips once more.

“Even if…even if I keep forgetting?” 

“Even then. We are simply meant to be, my love.”