#it's 3am and i can't sleep so heres this even though i wanted to post all 12 together lol

[buglaur]

🌾 who're you romancing? 6/12

[kiemiu]

voice notes your boyfriend chris leaves you | ( fem!reader ) fluff + soft hours. established relationship drabble warnings? -> slightly suggestive, use of her wc 327 (library) + (request)

one. hey..me, nick, and matt just landed in boston about...half an hour ago? i—i can't remember i didn't get much sleep on the flight..but i wanted to call and say goodnight, and i love you but then i remembered it's 3am here so i know you're asleep by now. (long sigh followed by silence) i miss you already.

two. hi, pretty baby. you didn't answer my call so i'm assuming you're busy right now. (crunching noises) but that wouldn't make any sense because what else could you be doing besides being my girlfriend? like-(scoffs)

three. hey sweetness, i'm at target right now and im— looking up and down the toy aisle- well, im by the legos actually, and i cant remember which set you said you wanted..can you send me a pic, please? thanks.

four. (loudly burps) that one's for you.

five. can't stop thinking about you..i miss you a lot. (soft sigh) everything about you. (light whimper)

six. you look so pretty, mama. wish i was there to see all of you in person.

seven. since you're bored you should like, come over and sit on my lap while i play fortnite..yknow..just a thought.

eight. (nicks voice) if your boyfriend drinks another one of MY pepsi's you will suffer the consequences. (a hard smack is heard) (chris in the background: don't talk to her like that, are you insane?!)

nine. can't stop listening to our playlist we made together, it just makes me miss you even more even though i just saw you last night...we should just- like, move in together. or you should move in with me. i don't think the boys would mind.

ten. hi stinky, hope you feel better. i ordered some food for you and it should be getting delivered to you soon, so— make sure you pay attention to the doorbell, mkay? (kiss noise) love you, text me when you wake up.

' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 🥡: @emely9274 @ginswife @madifilipowiczslvt @chrispleasure @chrisstvrns @conspiracy-ash

a/n: just a quick drabble cause i'm working on smthn bigger and i still wanna post 🤭

[diagonal-queen]

The ADA as your roommates

♡ characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Yosano Akiko, Jun'ichiro Tanizaki, Naomi Tanizaki, Ranpo Edogawa, Yukichi Fukuzawa

♡ synopsis: How good are the ADA at being roommates?

♡ cw: This is a post born out of medication-induced sleeplessness and months of pent up unfiltered fury directed at my shitty, shitty housemates. Some of that resentment may shine through in the headcanons. Also naughty words, NSFW themes with Dazai

note: hey y'all. i know it's not a request but it's the best i've got right now. law school and depression are kicking my ass. y'know that meme with the tiny man, and then the two buff dudes start beating the shit out of him? that's law school and depression with me. as always apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Atsushi:

Help he's so sweet and awkward all the time?? Always gives you a little wave or a smile and nod when you pass each other in the halls

He buys candies and chocolates and things and leave them in a bowl on the table for people to take if they want :')

When his roommates feels sad he takes the time to hang out with them and help them through whatever problem they're having

In the morning when he comes into the kitchen to make breakfast he's all yawny and has a scruffy bedhead and it's SO cute

He doesn't do it consciously, but on occasion Atsushi will fall asleep on the couch, and even more occasionally he'll transform into Byakko in his sleep. You get used to it after a while, but you can't really invite friends over unless you know Atsushi is in his room or out of the house T-T

But he really is so sweet. If you bring someone over they develop a crush on him immediately, but of course he's oblivious. After they leave he turns to you and is like 'aw your friend is nice' (they were hardcore flirting with him)

If he ever has an issue with you or the house, he gets very nervous when bringing it up because he doesn't wanna cause any conflict (you could be smashing the plates on the ground every day and he'd be like 'hey so i'm super duper sorry to bother you like i really hate to nag but-')

My mans. Is doing. His BEST

Dazai:

Screw you.

Holy shit this guy is an absolute nightmare to live with. he'll drive you crazy within the week just because of how *little* he does around the house

He doesn't clean his dishes. He doesn't buy stuff for the house. He doesn't do a DAMN thing.

Preferably, if you're gonna be living with him, you'll also wanna bring Kunikida. He has his own issues but at least then there's a balance between a chore-driven man and the embodiment of sloth, the deadly sin

He will stumble through the front door at 3am with unkempt clothes and the stink of alcohol on him. and he won't bother trying to be subtle or quiet either. Just crashes around until he pukes on the floor and falls asleep on the couch

At least he flushes (more than I can say for my housemates /gen)

He drinks in the house, and leaves bottles everywhere. The entire place is damn near bordering a safety hazard because of all the glass

Tries to cook but absolutely can't do it- he sets fires, ruins the kitchen, etc etc. It wouldn't be unreasonable for you to assume that all takeout packaging and pizza boxes you find strewn around the house belongs to him

He's fully up for a secret hookup if you're into that, though. Just give his door a knock after 11pm and you're in

Kunikida:

This guy is both a saint and a total pain in the arse

On one hand, he does his chores and he does them literally perfectly. Is there even a perfect way to wash the dishes? There is now. Kunikida is here

On the other hand you can kiss your hopes of getting out of your own chores goodbye. This man makes a schedule. a chore chart. a system. he pulls out the whole nine yards

Thanks a lot DAZAI

Anyway, he has his merits. Kunikida brings it upon himself to bring up the slack (even if he doesn't want to) because he can't stand living in a messy space, so your home is always spick and span

He organises weekly or monthly meetings to discuss home affairs (he's a real Louis Moriarty, he will also make you omelettes)

Kunikida is also kind of a walking talking alarm clock- he wakes you up in the morning if you're not up by a certain time, and also gives you a lights out time at night when he deems it bedtime

He pretends that this is just a part of routine and etiquette and whatever- in reality, he just really cares about your health and wants you to get enough sleep and keep a consistent routine

He also encourages you to go out if you're an introvert because "staying inside all the time is bad for you". Damnit Kunikida

Yosano:

Oh she's so great to live with

Every time you run into her you two always end up bitching to each other about something. She's the ultimate bitch buddy

If you get sick she takes on the role of home doctor, quarantines you in your room, and tends to you until you're well again. Or, if she doesn't like you, she just chops you up and gets it over with lmao

Yosano drinks a lot though. You eventually get used to falling asleep to the sounds of crashing, whirring chainsaws and maniacal laughter from the next room over

She takes AGES in the bathroom, so you really ought to keep a bucket on hand or something just in case. Like this woman will be in there for hours on end (RIP your water bill)

She also always takes up the phone line because she's a lil social butterfly (RIP your phone bill) but she'll also take your phone calls for you if you don't like talking on the phone so there's that

Yosano is really sweet but she always leaves her stuff laying around. Like there'll just be patient portfolios and medical tools in the living room?? Girl

Some nights she comes home with a bigass pizza in her hand and a bottle of wine in the other, and you know you're in for a GOOD time

If you ever need some spare cash she'll give it to you but if you take too long to pay her back she WILL chop you up so beware

Tanizaki:

He's a perfectly adequate roommate.

In all honesty there's barely anything to say about Tanizaki. He does his chores, respects his roommates, helps them if they need help, etc etc. He's just a real stand up guy!

Though I HC that Tanizaki gets sick pretty easily, so he can sometimes be seen wandering the house with a pale face wrapped in a blanket making sad boy noises

He gives you lifts as long as you're able to provide gas money (or McDonalds, either works as payment)

He doesn't usually accept invitations to go out drinking, but he's more than happy to grab a coffee with you if time permits it. He's just a responsible guy 😌 (if you don't have time he'll also bring you a coffee because he's just that nice)

Tanizaki always has backup stuff in case you guys run out of anything. This man basically has a bunker's worth of extra supplies for literally no reason, but hey free stuff!

He likes to make dinner for you sometimes, and you guys eat together and chat (it's something he grew used to while living with Naomi)

He's always happy to lend you his stuff if you ever run out of things (because of Naomi he even keeps backup menstrual stuff on hand, so you vagina owners are all safe)

You guys definitely do face masks and manicures together too

Naomi:

Naomi might, literally, be the roommate ever

She does her chores, she keeps quiet at night, she lets you know if she's bringing people over. Her only flaw is that she's always talking about her brother. Naomi please

She's also very vocal whenever her brother's in the house. What are they doing ffs

She bakes cupcakes and cookies and stuff each week for her roommates

She also brings around her friends sometimes for movie nights, and if you come into the living room she invites you to watch movies with her and her friends

Naomi honestly invites you to everything. Parties, gatherings, hanging out with friends- she's a true extrovert and will adopt you if you're an introvert, you have no choice sry :/

She also decorates the place really well- in all honesty she really did miss her calling as an interior designer because miss girl makes your home look CLASS

Naomi is the roommate you go to when you're preparing for a date and you need help with your outfit or nerves. She's like the ultimate wingwoman fr

She also buys incense and air freshener so your house smells nice as FUCK

Ranpo:

He's almost as bad as Dazai, aside from the fact that he can respect rules, and so (although begrudgingly and with a lot of whining) he actually does his chores

If you all live together he steals all of the candy Atsushi left out for everyone :(

Basically lives in his pyjamas. He gets home from work and immediately gets changed into his jammies

He also hogs the TV and won't let you watch Netflix until his own shows are finished :( and he also judges you for your taste in TV regardless of what it is

Ranpo never cooks for himself or you, but he LOVES when you cook for him. It makes him feel so special

You guys also get takeout all the time. You make a tradition of it and get different stuff on different days. It becomes a part of the autism routine and now you're stuck wasting your money (haha)

You also have to take him places and accompany him everywhere because he knows fuck all about taking the train. You basically live life around Ranpo's (annoying spontaneous) schedule

He uses too much soap in the shower and gets bubbles all over the bathroom, but at least he smells nice?

He does all the house paperwork, so silver lining and all

Fukuzawa:

He's lowkey kind of scary 😔

Like, he's a really respectful roommate who does his chores and pays mind to his living companions, but he also just like barely comes out of his room or talks to anyone.

Plus, detective daddy kinda has a massive case of RBF which really isn't helping

That being said, he will make tea for you if you feel blue, and he'll sit in your room and silently listen to you complain about your issues for hours. The PATIENCE of this man

He randomly does really sweet stuff for you without saying a word about it. Replaces broken stuff, makes you pancakes in the morning etc.

Fukuzawa tends to work late hours so he's often awake late in the night. He enjoys when you keep him company on your sleepless nights, and will give you a blanket if you end up falling asleep in his bed or on the couch

He's also super neat and never touches your stuff without asking <3

He knocks on your bedroom door and the bathroom door every single time, just in case, and he never enters unless you give him the heads up

His own door is never locked in case you need him too. Or in case there's a break-in. Good luck to that person fr

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen, @call-me-albie, @sayyestoheaven00

[bcacstuff]

People do realise he only got back from Nepal & a very big strain on his body and organs like a week ago??? Questioning him reposting at 1.30am or 3am means nothing. His sleeping is going to be messed up for weeks. Also reposting stuff twice is an easy mistake, he’s probably exhausted and forgets which he’s reposted as confusion can happen when re-acclimatising to normal altitude and reality after that. Goodness me the man can’t just do normal things without everything getting picked apart

Oh Anons, especially Anon 2.... I think you'd gonna explode if you saw my inbox. You only see the bit on other blogs and ignorant people making assumptions and acting surprised about something, getting outrageous about something that they could have known already for a while..... if you pay attention to the right things that is, not to the things that do not matter at all. 🙄

Yes, I agree very much, that trek he did, the affects it has on your body, it doesn't matter how well you are trained or how much you always live in a jetlag style off life, it has a strain not only on your body also on your mind as well. Just go figure it's not for nothing he waited to take that opportunity after he had no more responsibilities and ties for a series he has been working on for all these years. And we all know this is something he always wanted to do.

Also agree on how he shared his wonderful experience together with the posts of Jake N. I loved to explore the maps to see where and how they went, look up pictures and places, read about the challenges. And then read it first hand from the ones who really did it. What a nice change from all the booze advertising, but even more what a welcoming change in my inbox. I pretty much enjoyed the calm, apart from that one persistent Anon that kept on going on and on about........ Ash.

Yes really even then, no need for me to check her IG as I would have a daily reports about what she posted together with the most biased opinion about it, of course all in the most extreme negative way. Get a life, get a hobby... that's what I would shout at this Anon's face in real life. What poor life do you have if this is your daily business and you keep on writing to me to get it out of your system even if I do not post any of it. Yes, I chose not to post or give it any attention in here... because I just know how giving this air is only gonna make it worse!

You know it's always the sort of people that are determined to judge about someone else's life, they always know what is best for you, they even think they know better what is best for you than yourself. Even though they do not walk in your shoes or see the sun and the moon like you do. And when you do not choose the path they think is best for you.... well.... yeah, that! Talking about getting picked apart Anon 1, and agree Anon 2, this whole agenda people have with him is so unhealthy

Anyway I could have predicted, I did in fact predict exactly two weeks ago what my inbox would look like today. How it would flood with messages about 'Ash this', and 'Ash that', and the 'no doubt he must be' and the 'are you still sure about...' exactly the way it did beginning this year with Sarah H. And here we are again, nothing changed.

Boom Ash is in London! - Sorry, no not Boom as if lightning struck, she announced it already 2 weeks ago people! And not only that, a week later she also announced she was gonna be in Glasgow. These are the stories of 13 and 20 December!

So how is it any surprise to people now? Oh wait, yeah you didn't see those stories, you just see what is now. Oh she's in London, oh he posts late a story and twice the same one.... must be... right, no doubt... Can't be anything else now can it???

Yes Christmas Day she posts from London (and before you ask no that is not Sam's hand)

as well as Boxing Day

And let me help you here a bit, location Dear Jackie at Broadwick Soho. for the ones unfamiliar, yes that is the same location the Flute is in, remember that weird 'launch' party organised by Flaunt magazine and MGMplus UK?

And then OMG she turns up in Glasgow posting from EDA... oh wow. Let's just throw out all common sense and make things fit a certain narrative. Let's just simply ignore how Sam has been posting all Christmas Day constantly from 7am until after 11pm. Because that's what you do when you try to hide you're in London secretly meeting up with somebody who announced her presence there weeks ago. Right? Let's just pay attention to the fact he posted at 1.30am and 3am the night after Boxing Day (where he also posted almost all afternoon). Let's just conveniently forget that there are a ton of other options, like going out with other friends in Glasgow, or having some good times with family like his brother and newly wed wife f.i. or falling asleep on the couch while watching Netflix (his latest follow on Christmas Day) and I can think of lots of other options.

Nope, we just go by the one option that fits our narrative, right? Cause we all want some entertainment, and so we just claim he was with her in London without a shred of evidence, not even a voice or hand to be recognized not even a matching cloud on the horizon. And my persistent Ash-Anon (how I call her) is all satisfied as she get's her way with all the attention she so hard tried to stir in this fandom and now she can accuse him again of all kind of mischief.

Yes, my inbox keeps flooding, even while I write this post. I already lost count. The weirdest things, because... you all take this one narrative as a basis and lose all sense of reality focussing on minor things that do not matter and by ignoring things that do not fit the narrative and other simple options and things like:

You really think Sam would fly one day to London while knowing she would be in Glasgow the very next day? Especially after a trip that wasn't peanuts and had its strain on his body and mind? That he wouldn't spend time with family and friends in these holidays after that trip but run to London cause his employee is there all alone? And gosh why would they not meet up at some point, have a drink or dinner or whatever together while she's in town, why would he say no? Is that in any way proof he started to date his employee, or have some hidden relationship with her?

Even though it is a bit awkward how Ash pushed herself into his circle of friends, is it that strange she'd go to EDA to work out? Is it strange that when she follows 3.231 (and we thought Sam follows a lot!^^) that it she follows a lot accounts mutually as Sam does? And by following them, are they suddenly all her friends as well? Do you really think Ash never traveled before in her job representing the Jagermeister brand? Like she doesn't know anybody else in London but the people and places connected to Sam? Like she doesn't know anybody else in Scotland but Sam? (what about Shiobhan who became her bestie?) But nooooo... she traveled to the UK during the holidays, she can't have anything to do in the UK. She can't have any other friends there who told her about hogmanay in Scotland perhaps? Oh wait, that doesn't fit the narrative, let's just skip that, okay? Because then we have entertainment and we all can go on telling how somebody else must live his or her life, because we all know better than themselves.

Why do you all care?

You know what? I'm just gonna leave it at this and post this song with the lyrics. As they apply to all of us

Because, you know we're all just passengers in this world, much unlike those high mountains that are here forever to stay. Tomorrow or next year, it will be all the same, Just another drama and another name, Another fight who's right or wrong, And they all forgot about yesterday... when we were young!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ok so what if, Jax finds that the reader is only comfortable around him, yet feels uncomfortable being around the other cast.

He later finds out that the reason was, the reader feel less like a ‘horrible person’ when their in the same with someone worst then them, Jax.

(Bonus points if their aware on how messed up that is and tries to apologise)

Reader who uses Jax to make themselves feel like a better person

OOOHOOO ANON YOURE COOKING YOURE COOKING GET THIS ANON A CHEF HAT STAT!!! genuinely love tropes and scenarios like this OUGH

Writing this at 3am because I can't sleep but I've got my tunes so I'm locked in

Notes: reader is gn, reader isn't explicitly worse or just as bad as Jax but they definitely believe they are-- whether they're actually bad can be up to the reader, written on mobile, short post, no happy ending

CWs: none

Damn. Wow. Okay. Sure yeah go ahead. Yeah he knows he's not the nicest person around, hell he'll even admit it. He's not ashamed that he's a bit of a jerk- he's not some sniffling little softie and he thinks others reactions are funny... what do you expect him to do here in the circus? Sit and play nice? Yeah. Pass.

But to use him to make yourself feel better? And he actually thought you wanted to be friends with him- fuck, he actually thought you were his friend. His buddy pal, his partner in crime

Though the hesitation before going along with his antics hits a little harder now that he knows you basically looked down at him the whole time- and don't try to say you didn't he's not going to let you fool him twice

Honestly the fact that you were aware that it was a shitty thing for you to do- but still did it- only makes things worse. It wasn't an accident, or a mistake. It was an active choice that you were aware of

And you still went along with it, stringing him along

He doesn't even target in on you afterwards. Sure he's not going to make things easy for you- he will ignore you when you ask him for something or will give you shit

But.. there's still hurt. He'd never say it but what you've done did have some effect on him, even if he doesn't want to show it and let you 'win'

[stupendousfoxthing]

“Haaang on. So... "Jimin didn't say he didn't see him" is fine here but we can't say the same about JK seeing Tae on birthdays? I BEG them to get a speck of logic that applies across the board.”

Reply from @peachjagiya

See why I say there is a serious lack of reading comprehension?

Jungkook in 2019:

“We may all be in the same group but on all our days off I only saw Jimin hyung and Hobi hyung”

(Jungkook’s birthday was during the same break he said he didn’t see anyone except Hobi and Jimin)

Jimin in 2020:

“It was around 4am when I heard the news, I was with Jungkook…..”

Jimin later that day during a Live:

“I’m the one who told Jungkook about the news” (because they were together when they heard of their song getting a #1 on BB Hot 100)

V on the same day during the Live:

“I spoke with Jimin on the phone and I asked him to come sleep by my side but he was too lazy to come to my place”

Jungkook in 2022:

Jin: “Did V come?” (2x)

Jk: No he didn’t come (2x)

What other logic are we supposed to be applying here? Wasn’t Jungkook clear enough when he explicitly said during the break he ONLY saw Jimin and Jhope? Wasn’t he clear enough when he said TWICE that V didn’t come greet him in 2022 and he was Live till past midnight on his birthday then. Wasn’t Jimin clear when he said that Jk was with him at 4am on his birthday? Didn’t V make it clear that he wanted Jimin to come sleep by his side? What am I missing?

I can say Jimin didn’t say he didn’t see Jungkook on his birthday because he really didn’t say that but you can’t say the same about taekook because Jungkook very clearly said he didn’t, all these times. That is the difference. In one of these cases, you are concluding that Jimin didn’t see him even though Jimin literally never said he didn’t while in the other case you are trying to say that we don’t know if they saw eo or not even though we know because both times Jk explicitly said he didn’t unless you are trying to imply that Jk lied all these times. Is that it?

I don’t want it to seem like I am only talking about birthdays so let’s talk about other days.

Chuseok 2017:

All the members go home for chuseok

Jin: “Jungkook was the only one who stayed back to work on music. He was home alone”

Jimin: Hyung, I was home with Jungkook”

New year 2018:

Interview: what did you do on New years Holiday?

Jungkook: “I didn’t really do anything special, just stayed in the workroom. Ah, I also went bowling with Jimin and we had some really good food. We did some karaoke too.”

Valentines 2018:

14th February 2018:

Jimin seen at the airport back from Japan after a schedule with Hobi.

15th February 2018:

Jk, Jimin and Ha Sungwoon seen together on the street and also left autographs at an escape room they went to on the same day.

Winter 2018:

Jimin who loves the snow talks about not being able to see the first snow of the season and feels bad about it. Few days later Jimin and Jungkook post a video on twitter watching their first snow of the season together. (We know what watching the first snow together means in korean culture. Don’t have to believe me, just google it)

Chuseok 2020:

Jikook together, post video of themselves together from Jimin’s apartment around 3am

White day 2022:

Jimin, Jungkook and friends spotted at a restaurant (Jk was at Jimin’s place the night before, after they finished the final day of Seoul PTD concert)

White day 2023:

Jimin in the US promoting his album, Jungkook in Korea, V in Korea. Jungkook goes Live for almost 5 hours all alone from his apartment.

So it’s not only birthdays that taekook don’t spend together but couple days and other holidays too. I wonder why they only seem to be able to hang out on the most ordinary days but choose to hang out on these significant days with different people or alone?

Y'all. 💀

In one of these cases, you are concluding that Jimin didn’t see him even though Jimin literally never said he didn’t while in the other case you are trying to say that we don’t know if they saw eo or not even though we know because both times Jk explicitly said he didn’t unless you are trying to imply that Jk lied all these times. Is that it?

I'm saying we don't know and also I don't care. 😂 If you want to hyperfocus on a handful of cherry-picked days that you think are super important and think that's enough to prove two people are or are not dating go for it.

[zonkutonshorrifyingpeenie]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

tagged in by the lovely @borealopelta thanks bb! <3 <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

9

What's your total AO3 word count?

23,958

What fandoms do you write for?

i've primarily written for powerwolf with my extremely-specific-furry-au, but I've also written for AFK arena, fnaf, and there's a couple bakugan ones that I want to try and get back to working on as well, or indeed, working on writing in general ;A;

Top five fics by kudos?

Light's On - fnaf sb - 81 kudos

Reunions Sacrifice - afk arena - 60 kudos

A Were's First - powerwolf - 25 kudos

It's 3am... - powerwolf - 16 kudos

Charles' Nightmare - powerwolf - 11 kudos

Do you respond to comments?

If I actively remember to, yes.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely A Were's Last, which was almost exclusively written to induce tears in... two people at most lol

sometimes you just gotta write non-canon no-point angst shit ya feel?

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honestly, I haven't written many if any explictly happy fic endings, they seem to lean more melancholic most of the time which definitely doesn't say anything about my mental state what are you talking about

but, Sleeping On Your Alpha Can Be Something That's Very Personal, Actually and It's 3am... would probably count as at least my least sad fic ends

Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no. but some of my fic-connected posting has certainly garnered some strangely passionate responses.

Do you write smut?

Yep

Craziest crossover?

None of my fics are crossovers

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and if they're desperate enough to steal from me, I think I'd feel sorry for them

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not explictly, no. The closest I've gotten to anything like co-writing has been like... a couple of discord fic-lore convos that turned into semi-writings and also all that rp shit i did over a decade ago.

All time favorite ship

I don't exactly have a metric for rating any of my ships above the other, they all grab me by the throat in differing ways

though, by genre at least, i do gravitate towards gay old men, so, take that as you will

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Buddy I could just list my entire writing folder here and I doubt I would actually be exaggerating T-T

The mental illness has gripped me far too hard the last few years...

But, there's always hope, right?

What are your writing strengths?

environment descriptions and turn-of-phrase, I suppose. I like to think I'm fairly ok at getting a general vibe across in the... 12 paragraphs before i get to even a speck of dialogue lol

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

My monolingual ass could never. I'd be too afraid of fucking it up

First fandom you wrote in?

the first thing i remember writing for was fuckn like... an mmo game. i think it was the Sacred one when that was around... i think??

but that was purely written in random linebook when i was a child and didn't understand the concept of fanfiction yet

the first thing i POSTED anywhere was probably bakugan or homestuck. I genuinely can't recall exact order, but I do know for certain fact that I worked on this one bakugan fic for far FAR too long during highschool recess and lunch breaks

Favorite fic you've written?

In terms of published, definitely AWF, my beloved domestic furry au that is definitely not semi-dead-in-the-water-it's-fine ignore my tears

unpublished, there's certainly a few that I'm having a very pleasant and fun time with writing, even if the going is very slow.

If you were forced to write only one genre for the rest of your life (like James Patterson lol) what would you want it to be?

Probably Fantasy or Mythology, lot of wiggle-room within that, and I tend to lean more fantastical in my worlds and such anyhow.

I'm gonna tag in @deerfests I reckon! And open-invite ofr anyone else that wants to hop in as well!

[fleurcareil]

East Quebec: Côte Nord

Due to the 24-hour boat delay from Blanc-Sablon, I end up doing a beautiful hike along the Pioneer Footpath, a coastal trail between the villages, by walking around 4k from L'Anse au Clair towards Forteau and then back again (one-way between the villages is 15k which is too much for me). The sun ☀️ was finally shining so the cliffs, sea and icebergs 😍 looked even more magnificent! The iceberg that I had taken a picture of the day before (see previous post) had been shattered though into pieces, presumably because of the higher solar radiance. It shows how quickly nature can change!

In the afternoon, I dropped off my car at the ferry terminal so that I didn't need to be there at 3am to get the car loaded into the container, and instead could show up at 6.30 - a much more reasonable time! 🙃 I got a lift back to the hotel from two Welsh friends who recommended a cute café for dinner, so ended up having great conversations with them over tomato soup & a glass of wine 😃.

Next morning, we can finally walk onto the Bella, the Relais Nordik cargo ship that also functions as a cruise for tourists who want to see the villages that it stops at. I can't see my own car, but presume it's stacked somewhere in the containers! 🤞 There was as usual fog to start with, so we were treated on a slide presentation on the underwater life of the Fleuve Saint Laurent (we have here the 2nd largest shark in the world - the basking shark which only eats plankton), until a pod of 10 humpback whales was spotted so everyone rushed out to watch them. It wasn't very warm to sit outside for a long time, but the lounge area had big windows to spot icebergs, birds & two porpoises. 😊

In the afternoon, there was a brief stop at the village of La Tabatière, where, fully covered to defeat the black flies, I had a pretty view of the coastline. Thereafter, there was another presentation on local flora, including a tasting of labrador tea and local jams. And in the evening, I joined the Welsh for an elaborate lobster dinner... not too shabby this boat crossing! 😊

Although the chair in which I was huddled in my sleeping bag was very comfortable, I didn't sleep much, and when at 4:30am a new group of people boarded over a magnificent sunrise that was the end of it... after a refreshing shower and with a calm sea, it was however not a chore 😉 to sit for a few more hours in the lounge taking in the scenery until the boat would arrive at Kegashka, where the road starts again.

The offloading of cars, trailers, ATVs, kayaks, lawnmowers etc etc took ages so I waited 2 hours to finally see my car being craned down, but the time was spent chatting with the other passengers... it's funny that even after only a day it seems like the entire boat knows each other and people take selfies, exchange numbers and hug; Quebecois are very friendly!

This is the eastern terminus of route 138 which starts in Quebec City over a 1,000km away and which I'll need to drive in its entirety, so I better get going!😜 It was hot & humid though and I had trouble focusing on the (first 40k unpaved) road, so ended up laying down in the car for a bit at a pretty rest stop to recover some energy. In the evening, I walked along the promenade at Havre-Saint-Pierre, watching seals, terns and harbour porpoises go after their food (it was so quiet I could hear the porpoises breaching) until I got hungry myself and had a delicious fish dinner overlooking the sea... when I saw the Bella arrive... Walking back to the hotel I ran into the Welsh couple again, a small world!

Next morning, I'm up & ready at 7:45 with a cup of tea and lots of warm clothes for a 6-hour boat excursion to the eastern islands of the Mingan Archipelo national park. The islands are known for their rock monoliths that border their shores, and the first one, Île du Fantôme, didn't disappoint! The interpreter explained how they're formed and gave names to the various formations (like "the Sphynx" or "horse drinking water") but that often needed a healthy dose of imagination. 😉

The second island, Île Niapiskau, has a few impressive, larger monoliths that stand stark on the shore but also has some inland in between the trees, indicating that the sea level (responsible for the tidal erosion) used to be much higher when the land had not rebounded yet from the glacial retreat.

We stayed 2 hours on the final island, Île Quarry, where I walked via a detour along the coast to the monoliths rather than cutting directly through to the other side. The sun had come through and suddenly it was warm again! Beautiful cliffs & rock formations, the smell & sound of the sea... what else is there to say? 😊

This was a great trip and I recommend anyone to make the trek sometime to this remote part of the country (PS I believe all tours are in French so having a basic understanding is essential)!

Once back on shore, I made my way to Longue-Pointe-de-Mingan half an hour west, which acts as the base for exploring the western islands. Enroute, I visit the Maison de la Culture Innu, which has high-quality, interactive exhibits about the Innu who inhabited these lands first. I learned that they have actually a strained relationship with Parks Canada who manages the islands, as they're now no longer allowed to go there to hunt ducks and seals or collect eggs & berries, something they've done for centuries... as an Innu woman put it; "we're suddenly tourists in our own home". It shows how important (and difficult) it is to try to understand all sides of a story.

Having checked into the motel, I realized the village is even tinier than I thought; the one restaurant was closed (Havre-Saint-Pierre had 2 restaurants that were both open), but luckily the gas bar which ran out of gas 😂, did also have a grocery store so I got a Ceasar salad, chicken & cheese to eat on my room while the laundry was running.

I ran out of my picture allowance for this post, too much pretty nature to show 😎, so will continue in the next one.

Icebergs: 5 (on the boat)

Wildlife: 10 humpback whales, 2 harbour porpoises (on the boat), 6 seals (1 grey), 3 porpoises, 6 terns & 2 loons (at Havre-Saint-Pierre), 2 harbour seals, 1 grey seal, 1 porpoise (at the east Mingan archipelo)

SUPs: none

Hikes: one at L'Anse au Clair, one at La Tabatière, one at Île Quarry

[skyrimsimmer]

Talking about Yesterday in a positive light.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience, and yesterday brought a lot of things hidden that are now in the open due to what has happened in the past with me and others. This is not an attack; this is me venting about yesterday, and writing this out is the only way to explain things from my point of view.

Since 2018, I have been under a lot of pressure and stress due to cyberbullying here on the internet. I have no local resources to help or even want to help because of what I have endured. I want to truly change things around for the better. Hold people accountable for their actions when they bully others. @riseupact is the cause for that because I feel my goals for it can work if our government does something and actually gives victims justice. Because of the bullying I have faced and so many others have, people are saying that I use AI for it. But really, all I used AI for was to give a fresh copy of my writing and summarize it to make it look presentable in a professional sense. My AI service is ChatGPT, which has helped me improve my poor grammar and make it look professional. As for anything else I use it for, it is for no one's business but my own.

The biggest thing that happened yesterday was that I chose to walk away from a situation because I don't want to be involved in it. I am moving forward by using the @riseupact to help victims get justice by exposing the cyberbullies online. All the information given on the blog post from yesterday was from real sites and data that you can easily find online. The main reason I am doing this because our voices deserve to be heard, and using a tool such as ChatGPT isn't wrong when some have poor grammar and want to look professional. It's one of my disablities when I write or type and I can't help it that it sucks and that I am working on the blog to be professional because it is a profession I am doing. It's not a small project but a long-term one.

I get it people hate AI and that is fine but please understand why some people like myself use AI because some of us don't have perfect writing skills and I use AI to help my writing look professional. I'm a writer as well, even an author, working on my own book series. But I still use AI to help my writing look better. It helps me at least, and maybe others as well.

I tried using grammarly but it keeps on making my posts look weird and use spelling that doesn't make sense for my writing so that is why I copy and past my writing and have chatgpt make it professional because I don't have that skill or expertise nor do I have the budget to pay someone to do it for me.

Joanna Penn, who runs The Creative Penn podcast on YouTube is an author I enjoy watching on YouTube as well as having all of her books for publishing, expressing your writing, using AI, and other things she gives advice on for writers or authors to use.

There is enough data where ChatGPT is helpful for various prompts. One project I am doing that is almost finished in the rebuilding stage is where I have used ChatGPT to develop lore for this project. Mainly because I struggle with high-functioning ADHD, and I use ChatGPT in a project folder to store my ideas that I tend to forget later, and when I return to the project, the idea is still there and fresh for me to work on later. Lore building is a struggle for me with this project, so I am taking my time to finish it since I extended the deadline for it to be done by this Saturday. My creativity only peaks at night between Midnight and 3am central time zone its where my creativity for working on projects work for me even though my sleep is messed up and I am more of a night owl anyways I tend to prefer to work on projects that require a lot of focus and quietness which I don't get much when I have a seven year old male cat who is loud at night and during the day so tuning him out with my headphones and focusing on my projects help me be able to focus.

With my disabilities, working around them with sources like ChatGPT has been helpful for me to stay organized with various tasks as well as work on projects that keep me busy. It's what I rather use for it and there is nothing wrong with me using a tool to help me look professional at all.

[black-infertility-life]

The Wait (part 1)

Hello my beautiful people. Here's what happened.

8/15- a bit more cramping today vs. Transfer day. Decided NOT to take Tylenol today. Tried to relax my way through the pain. Made a post in one of my groups and most of the people were supportive. PIO shot has been horrible.

8/16 - woke up at around 2/3am nausea all morning with some cramping finally left a message with clinic . Talked with our coordinator. She said it can happen sometimes and that it could also be the medicine so try and eat a little something and drinks lots of fluids. Ate some saltines while I waited to get a 2nd call back about the medicine. They helped. Got confirmation that I could take the medicine, so I took 10ml (recommend dosage 15-30ml). This whole coach potato thing is not for me.. Not at all.

PIO shot has been horrible.

8/17- woke up about 230am with nausea. Tried to eat a saltine and started gagging. Took some medicine 10ml. This has sorta worked 😑 Ended up trying to eat tiny pieces of bread (no crust as sometimes I like crust and sometimes I don't) it worked for about 20mins and now the nausea is coming back. 😑 Eventually it subsided and I was able to go back to sleep. I did wake up slightly nauseous but it went away. I started back at work today and on the way there and back I got nauseous in the car which had never happened before (unless I'm already sick). I tried eating fries on the way home but it didn't help. I tried to take more medicine when I got home​, but it just made me gag more. PIO shot wasn't too bad. My butt is starting to hurt and my stomach is definitely getting marks.

8/18- woke up at about 340/4am to pee. Have been slightly nauseous but not as bad as it's been. I was supposed to work today for a makeup but I called it off. Even though we need the money, I just can't right now.

8/19- woke up around 240 as I need to use the bathroom. Started feeling nauseated with some stomach acid issues around 320. I tried to tough it out and eventually ate some bread which eventually helped and I was able to fall back sleep.

.... Ugh todays been a mess. I've been gagging and nauseous off and on all day. We went out to eat and that was good but hard as all the smells made me more nauseous. After hubby gave me the PIO shot there was a bit a blood and I got really dizzy.

+++++ first full day back at work

I got nauseous on the way to and from the first part of work. I got some Sonic as we hadn't had it in a while and I was craving it. The 2nd part on the way there and home I was fine. I forgot to bring my Pro Cap with me as I forgot that I needed to stay an extra 30mins. So I took it 30mins late.

Went on a short walk with the puppers and hubby and always nauseous and gagging the whole time.

8/20- been awake for a while and started to get nauseous after being awake for about 30 minutes.

+++ got nauseous on the car ride to and from work and have continued being nauseous while at work. The PIO didn't really hurt as much but the Love stung.

+++ I had a BM before bed so maybe that will help things as I hadn't had one in a few days. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

This stage is multifold. Theres the multiple different meds from oral, to vaginal, to shots. You have to take them at specific times and especially in the case of the shots they can be okay or hurt so bad you want to cry.

Then there are the symptoms. That's a roller coaster in it's self. It's so hard because the symptoms give me hope while at the same time I know it could just be the medicine as the medicine is straight up hormones.

And theres the waiting. This whole infertility business has taught me that I don't have as much patience as I thought I did. The closer it gets to beta, the stronger the urge to test early. I've looked at a variety of different post to see how other people have handled things. Within the group that tested at home early: some got the answer they wanted while other didn't. Some said that it added stress as the beta test results were different. I've also been checking my underwear to make sure I don't have period blood. I've also been struggling with hope. Throughout my life I've tried to be a hopeful but worrier of a person and I have learned through pain to not be too hopeful. This process though, it kicks that hopefulness into high gear and makes it often devastating to not have that hope bear fruit.

This is getting long so I'm going to create a part 2 for Wednesday-Sunday.

ttfn

Love yourself and take care

[hard-core-super-star]

hwjskksksdhwj well, at least after that I went straight to sleep, I just wanted to answer you so.... I'm starting to think that too lmao, let me do a test. the time I sent you this was 11am or something close to that? I was going to say something like this only happened once, but since we started talking you're always right 😭 stop always being right, I beg you. in this case: anon, rubix is ​​actually gatekeeping because what she's doing is working, so you can forget your tutorial, sorry.

I'm already that predictable to you? 😔 stop kahsjakka I don't believe someone can literally be right all the time. okay you already got your second star too, now we both have two stars, happy now? and did you really go see the amazing spider-man? yep, I think we can this time, but I still don't know if it would really be narcissism.... noooo come back kahekwkaksk I was actually trying to make a joke like that but what came out was “pure madness” lmao, the joke was good, you're fine!!

what??? I gave you a star, even though you didn't know it in this message yet, but I did!!! when it comes to compliments I....? I think we agreed to finish the sentences now. lmao, it sounds like a good plan, but now I wonder what those more obvious things you would tell me would be. I don’t know if I should agree with the fact that I noticed that you’re not discreet and then you say “excuse me!!?!?!???” again hdjajswkwk. WAIT why are you calling me out now???? I'm going to finish the sentences!

since you're the one saying it, I'll take it as a compliment. well, I'm not assuming you're going to talk about these thoughts now and I'm not excited to see what you have in store. I wasn't thinking that maybe you could drop your @ on tktk because that way we could talk about alpha!kate and I could ask questions and you could answer without leaving possible spoilers here...

I don't think I'm going to run out space because if you really send two per message- I mean, so far I've only gotten the obvious ones, which were written on my face. but I appreciate your faith in me 😶

I feel you! I automatically start to panic with: tough, though, thought, through, thorough and throughout LIKE WTF????? 😭😭 kdhjsakk it's funny to see a writer saying she hates grammar. why a 15th birthday party being something so big and different from others is still a mystery to me. don't mind me asking, but what did you like most there? ngl pronounce it the “American way”? lmao, and what would it be like to pronounce “carne asada” like that?? 🤔 (I've never tried chipotle but I want to stay away from any chiles). Kate annoying people in a friendly way is so real and precious 🥺 nooo, and then the awkward silence after she said something like that would be a reason for her not to speak for the next 20 minutes- to apologize I think yelena would do some acts of service, like, I can see her stopping being proud and apologizing, but her apologizing without necessarily saying it feels more right. or she'll be like those mothers who argue with you and don't apologize but make your favorite dinner hoping it works.

– 🌟

it's a good thing we don't take a long time to reply otherwise that would mean you went to sleep closer to 4am than 3am. once again, i can't be mad 'cause that means a lot...and it's adorable. your test was pretty accurate, it was 11:55 when you sent that message, now it's 2:15 but by the time i post this it'll probably be closer to 3. is this information important? no, i just wanted you to know. you got that right, thank you for admitting it where everyone can see. i know i should stop...but i can't ;) i think you should expand on this very necessary comment because how am i gatekeeping? i think there messages are the tutorial, tbh 😶

yup but it's a good thing, don't worry. kind of like how i'm predictable in terms of my references. maybe not all the time but i think i have a pretty good track record. i am incredibly happy, actually. now, let's see how long it takes you to start asking for a third star 👀 i wanted to but i didn't have time. i might watch this weekend, tbh. i think we should leave it open-ended because i'll get a headache if i think about it too much. aw, i didn't even leave and you were asking me to come back, do you really like me that much? but thank you for appreciating the joke, it made me laugh. and so did yours, tbh.

yes, i know that now not when i wrote that so therefore my complaint still stands. once again, we agreed to that after this message so that's not my fault. buuuut since you seem to be so interested…when it comes to compliments, you give really good ones that make me want to say stupid things in response. i think the sentence before this one will give you a pretty clear idea of what those more obvious sentences would be like. i think you saying this counts as you agreeing. i would be offended but you don't seem to be upset about how not discreet i am so no harm done. i’ll believe it when i see it 👀

great, that's how i meant it. i certainly don't have thoughts i was going to spill but then i got distracted by the suggestion you didn't give. are you not saying you would be willing to reveal your tktk just so i won't share some more alpha!kate thoughts? ‘cause i’m tempted to not say that no one would read said spoilers but clearly, that's a wrong assumption. so…[as offended that i am that you didn't suggest tktk instead of insta] i won't give you a little math problem to find my tktk. take my username on here, delete the - in between the words, and add 19. i certainly won't be there if you want.

i guess time will tell…and my braincells ‘cause sometimes i can't remember the references i want to make.

akkskdkdk YES! my brain hurts just looking at those words. yeah, it's certainly not usual but it's true 🤷 same, it's one of the many traditions i’ll probably never understand. i’m going to give you the honest yet dorky answer…the architecture and the museums. and when i say architecture i don’t even mean things like the Louvre or anything, i mean like the random apartment complexes. it's just…you can feel the history when you walk around. that probably makes no sense but yeah. i can't even attempt to spell out the sounds that come out of gringos when they try to say anything remotely close to spanish lmao. it’s a little more bearable in California but like 🙃 right??? she's genuinely so annoying sometimes but in a really cute way, i can't explain it. kate’s like a baby overthinker. she reacts way faster than she thinks but then once she realizes what she did/said, she’ll think about it non-stop. oh for sure. i don't think yelena would verbally apologize but she’d acknowledge kate’s feelings through actions. and they don't even have to be something big for it to feel huge in kate’s eyes. like maybe yelena just silently encourages kate to go on and on about some archery related thing and kate’s like 🥹

[dzpenumbra]

5/23/23

Today wasn't half bad. Low key, as usual. Got sucked into RP streams again.

I did a short but very intense yoga routine today... that I actually had to tap out of and take a breather. My shoulder kinda collapsed on me. I was supposed to do a side plank after a bunch of other plank-related stuff and it just... wouldn't hold. And that hasn't happened in a while. I'm not surprised, and I didn't really kick myself over it. It was just a bump in the road.

I've been getting more and more out of shape, and I don't feel like I can keep up with it. I'm frustrated about it because of how foreign it is to me. I've never had to deal with this, and... honestly, it's the fatigue that gets me. I have a lot of active exercise things I love to do. But I can't get myself to do them when I'm sleep deprived or depressed. And... that's a very chronic issue. So yeah, that's just something that haunts me and gets under my skin.

I'm gonna get to bed early tonight. Like... really soon. Just reminding myself to keep this short. I am tired, so I need to take advantage of that and use that momentum to inch my bedtime back. This 7AM shit just doesn't work. For some reason... 5AM and 7AM look the same for me as bedtimes. Like... both are way too late. By that, I mean the difference between 3AM and 5AM seems much bigger than 5AM and 7AM. Because once the sun comes up... it's just like... whatever. So... my goal is to be in bed and ready to sleep before 5. So... I'll keep this brief.

I added thin layers of Mod Podge to the yellow beads today. They look really good, actually. I think if I do thin layers, I don't have to sand them, really. Though... I'm not sure if it really evens out with how long I spend working on them. I'll see. But yeah, progress there. And I got myself to go out for a walk. I went out at like 8PM. It was well into sunset, I skipped the shower and everything. My primary goal was to get gravel for my mini garden thing I wanted to make in the terracotta pot I got. I got anxious about it again. Twice.

I got to the gravel road and there was a dude walking his dog and on his phone. So I went the other way and looped around, hoping to give him enough time to pass in a different location. But he did the most half-assed walk I've ever seen, it was like 50 feet down the road and back, on his phone the whole time. That poor dog. :( I actually ended up passing him, he started walking really slowly. And I felt really self-conscious with the idea of passing him, then taking off my backpack, pulling out a ziplock bag and shoveling gravel into it with my hands. Call me crazy, that made me a bit insecure. So I went to the parking lot at the top of the path and pulled my phone out and watched the stream I was listening to... and pretended I was scrolling something. And when he passed by, I went back to the path and filled the bag.

In the end, I wasn't really that anxious about it, and I got it done. What did make me anxious was later when I was walking back to my building... there was a person standing in a corner next to where the path goes under the bridge... and it was like... a cliche scene from a movie where someone would mug you. And I was wearing my glasses, so I couldn't see any fucking details of this person at all. So I speed-walked under that damn bridge. But besides that, I wasn't really anxious at all.

In fact, I was pretty damn confident today. I woke up to a message from my therapist who apologized profusely for the late message that he promised me. He was going to send me some custom crafted affirmations - mantras, if you prefer that terminology - to help combat my reflexive anxiety. Because it seems like a lot of it surrounds... a lack of confidence, an inferiority complex trained into me by people around me most of my life. I read a post from someone on here recently, a heavy confessional one, that sounded a lot like that too. So... if you're out there... and you get the whole... feeling like a fraud and you'll never be a "real adult" and all that nonsense... you're not alone. In fact, anyone that grew up being taught these things... you're not alone. There is not one definition of success. And I promise you... I am telling myself this as much as I'm telling this to you... if you follow someone else's definition of success, you will with almost absolute certainty end up miserable and disappointed. I'm really sorry, it's dark, it's heavy, it's disorienting, I know... but it's true. If I - as an artist, musician and poet - took self-help advice from a Navy SEAL? I mean... I'm not saying there aren't things that I could retrofit to be useful in my life, I'm not saying there's nothing to learn; only a Sith deals in absolutes. I'm saying... if I... as an artist/musician/poet... follow the step-by-step plan on how to be a happy, successful, "productive" adult crafted by a Navy SEAL... I would be miserable. Even if I succeeded. Because I would be building a life I don't even want. I would be laboring and slaving away to build someone else's life, crafted around someone else's goals, interests and desires.

What's my point with this? Get to know yourself. And learn to love yourself. Get past the "that's lame" reflexes there and try to understand that you get one fucking ride on this chunk of rock hurtling through space, and do everything you can to pursue the life that you desire. However you can. I wish society was crafted with more focus on that rather than... basically industrialized farming people and turning them into laborers... Ugh, politics aside... Step 1 - get to know yourself, what you love, what you want to do, what makes you happy. Step 2 - work towards being that person as much as possible. That's what I'm advocating.

My day started with engaging my brain in a form of focused meditation through a mantra. "It is safe for me to be my authentic self." And yeah, after years... a lifetime, really... of having my authentic self either hidden, emotionally beaten or shamed... It often does not feel safe being my authentic self. And that is the world's biggest understatement - I have had panic attacks that felt like I would be burned at the stake at a witch trial for being myself. But what I haven't really been able to convince my subconscious of lately... is that... the primary person in my life that is currently holding me back from being my authentic self... is me. Out of fear. Out of anxiety. Out of insecurity. Out of self-protection.

But today... I did much better with it. I still don't feel safe... in general. Which is a thing. But I felt a lot better just being... myself. My authentic self. My true self. The Me that I am behind closed doors, the Me that is... here. I felt more okay laughing at jokes in the stream in my earbuds as I walked in public, and not being worried about judgmental people I may pass by. And it felt... much more like home. It reminded me of times in the past when I was much more shameless (in a good way).

This is going on longer than planned, but I wanted to mention one more thing that was directly related. I watched a streamer that I really respect... that has been RPing for like... a decade? Who has streamed a ridiculous amount in her life... I watched her have an anxiety attack. A real anxiety attack. Live, on stream, in front of thousands of viewers. Because her character, who is a Captain in the PD, was going in for a final interview for Chief of Police. And she was legit having very real anxiety about it, audibly, and narrating it. And the support and empathy coming from chat (myself included) was so unbelievably heartwarming! And she nailed it! I didn't see the other interviews so I have no idea if she got the job, but she... she really deserves it. I am so fucking emotionally invested in this server, good lord! XD

So yeah, big theme of like... combatting and overcoming anxiety today. At very least, confronting. And what I gave to her as advice? Because she was talking about physical symptoms. I said "your body is just sensing something potentially unsafe, it's a biophysical reaction, you're gonna be okay." Something like that, I don't have the direct quote. I found it interesting that... that is what I decided to say. I don't know. I've been so deeply convinced in the power of narrative and will and choice, trying to dismantle and navigate the conscious thoughts, which is a crucial part of all of it... but like... this part of the nervous system is super reflexive. And it takes time and deliberate work to train your subconscious mind that things like this are safe. That you can handle it. And confidence helps a ton with that.

Alright, enough therapy talk. My plan is pretty much out the window, but I can still get to bed earlier than usual. Good day today, we'll see what tomorrow has in store. Have a good night!

[wannaeatramyeon]

Sharing a hotel room with taehun? Lol what would be his reaction pfft

Haha! I did think about putting Taehoon in with the lookism boys but... didn't. Here's my SFW thoughts!

HTF x Reader: Sharing a love hotel room hc

(SFW - Taehoon, Yeonwoo, Museong, Seongjun, Jinho)

Seong Taehoon

Honestly this scenario with Taehoon probably isn't as fun as you think

If he has zero interest in you, he'll enter the room, look around, then walk straight back out. He'd rather find a 24hr/overnight arcade to hang out in

If he likes you, then it'll be a bit more exciting

Surprisingly protective over his beauty sleep

A good night sleep is important for peak Taekwondo performance

So if you keep him up then it best be for something good

He has his night routine that he follows religiously though. He's just so... limber

It makes you think about all kinds of positions and you can't stop staring at his hips

You: Taehoon?? What you doing??

Taehoon: Stretching

You: Why?

Taehoon: To stay flexible

You: [staring in awe] Before bed?!

Taehoon: Want a closer look, pervert?

Ji Yeonwoo, Kim Munseong

These guys are gentlemen through and through

Would offer to take the floor (which is likely covered in questionable stains)

So of course you couldn't let them do that

You'll share a bed, and they would offer to put pillows/blankets etc. in the middle to spare you your modesty

Unlike the Lookism boys, once they're asleep then they're zonked out lol

Divider or not, they'll make their way over to you in the night

In the morning you'll wake up wrapped in their arms (altho Yeonwoo enjoys being the little spoon)

Baek Seongjun

This guy makes my heart hurt

Will try to put you at ease with the situation

Super respectful, and will let you generally set the vibe or he'll try to read the room

Light teasing but if you're comfortable then he would stop

Big cuddler, if you didn't want to do anything then he would offer for you to lie in his arms and you can just watch some NewTube vids together or something

The kind of guy that you would stay up til 3am talking to. It won't be about his past, but you'll find out all sorts about him, and Seongjun about you that he would take to heart

But if you hate the whole vibe? You don't even need to stay in the room if you don't want. He'll go for a walk to ease your mind, find a 24hr cafe, market, sauna. Anything for you

Lee Jinho

Because some posts got me thinking about Jinho

If you ended up alone with this guy?

Tbh, he would probably treat you like you're not really there - a bit of a nuisance but he can ultimately put up with you for 1 night

But what's the point of getting a love hotel if you don't put it to good use?

This would be the perfect night to explore all sorts of kinks

And he means ALL

[crstormzy]

castiel headcannons | my candy love

ok so i have this really annoying habit of inviting fictional characters to live in my head rent free for god knows how long. specially when they are assholes. specially when they're the type of assholes i'm really fond of. specially when they're castiel veilmont.

i also have the even more annoying habit of making extremes out of these characters in my head, but oh well... it be like that sometimes.

anyways, it's 3am where i live and i cannot sleep so here's some of the extremes i've taken castiel to during the last few years i've been obsessed with him:

so, first things first, my man is a genius. i'm not talking the einstein kinda genius, but more of a mozart or michelangelo or something like that. he likes art and he understands it and he is so good at it. like, otherworldly good.

he has an awesome vocal range, but he can rock the higher register. and he can also rock the growls so that makes for an interesting combination.

i don't care what others say, i just know castiel can cook. and i'm not talking instant noodles or frozen pizza either, i'm telling you my man can cook. call it perks of living almost alone from a young age, but he is a really great chef (and a really great lover, so be ready for a lot of breakfast treats if you're dating him).

although he is a singer (and a pretty good one at that), castiel just loves bad karaoke nights. like, all out awful singing: out of rhythm, out of breath, out of tune. he's paid to be a good singer all other nights of the year, so he definitely seizes the opportunity to just be a shitty one for a while.

songwriter is coded into his dna. like, waking in the middle of the night, genius ideas, music out of everything type of songwriter. dude writes like he's running out of time.

his lyrics are so deep, always with beautiful metaphors and the kind of thing that just guts you every. fucking. time.

or they're just vulgar nonsense. there's literally no in between.

can sleep anywhere. tour bus? yeah, sleeping. library table? long gone. the most uncomfortable chair in existence? catch him going. his bed, though? forget it. after midnight his brain simply starts running a mile a minute.

not. a. morning. person.

no, seriously. he hates mornings with a passion, specially during hsl. probably because he's always going to sleep horribly late, but he hates having to wake early for anything at all. the only exception is if he's really really really excited about something.

he can hold his liquor, but he hardly ever drinks enough for it to be necessary because he doesn't like the idea of losing control of himself.

stopped smoking somewhere after high school. he was never really dependant on nicotine and after a while (specially after crowstorm) he just stopped altogether. the sensation was nice and all, but kinda of not worth it anymore.

was bullied into becoming crowstorm's vocalist.

also hates instagram with a passion. shows up once every three months, posts a single story (after his manager grilled him for weeks to make any appearance at all) and promptly vanishes again.

would get rid of his phone if he could but, since he can't, he just isn't much of a user.

castiel please stop telling paparazzi to fuck off please for the love of god the press team is begging you stop trying to rip their cameras out of their hands please please

can be very polite and well mannered when he wants to (but he never does)

my boy is a charmer. like, literally everyone falls for him. and then he opens his mouth and just manages to be the biggest asshole ever.

(he claims it's also part of his charm)

lots of people speculate about how many plastic surgeries he's had. partly because he's very pretty, but mainly because of the nose and the eyes. no one believes his nose wasn't bought, and lots of people think he wears contacts.

(in truth he is terrified of plastic surgery, but, ironically, if he wasn't his nose would probably be top of the list of things he would wanna change)

anyways i could spend literal days talking with how much time i've spent with him inside this silly little brain of mine. these are some of the headcannons i could think of on spot but god knows i have so many more...

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

here are some random minho headcanons I got inspired to write today because, well, minho, lol

btw, as I said I wrote these because I randomly got motivated - they're not nearly as seriously written as anything else I posted on here ever. I just wanted to get some thoughts out. if that's not the kind of thing you like to read, no need to do so

- Despite always being up early and getting back only just before sundown, Minho is totally up for midnight adventures. He falls asleep so damn fast because he's always exhausted, but when he hasn't run or when he's not as tired, he's usually always roaming around the glade doing things he never gets to do otherwise. And with a significant other? He's setting up dates in the Deadheads at 3am under the stars and wakes you up just so that he can fall asleep next to you after you've gone on a walk and almost stumbled into like thirty trees (it's highly amusing but the potential to get hurt is ten times higher than usual, and that means something when talking about the Deadheads).

- Minho is one hundred percent the type of guy to share a space. He's a keeper, he sleeps in the homestead, and he's more than happy to have you next to him in his little,,,, well, room. Whether that means a hammock and a chair or maybe even a makeshift bed, he's definitely up for not being apart more than you have to be. If you're a runner that's not too much of a problem anyway, but if you're not- you just don't see each other as often. You don't get to spend as much time together. So every second and every minute that you do have the chance to be with him, you try to use well. Whatever that means.

- Also I'm convinced that this man is a showering/swimming kinda guy. He gets back and needs to shower, so you're coming with. No need to get dirty at all, it's really just once more because he's away all day in the maze, and the time that he gets to spend with you he's not gonna waste, not as long as you agree to come showering with him. And if it's warm, he is absolutely the first one to jump into the pond. Not even to wash or anything, just because. Because he's Minho.

- That he's always focused on running definitely also is mirrored in the way he sleeps. He's fallen out of the hammock at least five times (which is why I'm convinced he has a bed) simply because he tosses and turns so much. Personally I do too, especially before I fall asleep because I can't find a good position for shit, but Minho almost gets worse when he eventually does doze off. Nobody knows if he's dreaming of running or if it's literally just his head telling him that he needs to move, but nobody can do anything against it either, and as long as you're not a light sleeper you're fine.

- He's basically unconscious when he's asleep. Mans would not notice even if someone stabbed him. Which is wonderful for example when you also toss and turn so much when you sleep. Like, as long as neither of you are waking each other up with that, great! He will not be woken up at least, not until you dump cold water onto him or scream into his ears. Though he does have a built-in alarm clock that has him waking up SO early, I swear to god. He's a runner, he needs to be up early, and his body has adapted to that so well that he wakes up at the same time everyday (unless he was drunk the night before, but that's another story.)

yes by the way, I have thought a lot about how he sleeps for some reason. idk I like to analyse that. tells a lot about personality and stuff.

- Minho sings. Not very well but he loves to just sing as a joke. Just break out into song to annoy people. Which he by the way also loves to do. Just, annoy people, like, pranking them or being sarcastic or whatever. Singing is one of those methods. He memorizes quite easily, so he also memorizes song texts very quickly, which means that he can sing like twenty songs randomly at all times. All. Times.

- He's actually really strong. That should be common knowledge but I feel like many people forget about it. Like, he might not be as strong as other gladers, but this bitch almost got hit by lighting and just stood up again after. And I mean strong in a very broad physical sense here - he has muscles, he has stamina, but he also has just a damn strong body in the sense of surviving shit. He doesn't get hurt as easily as other people. But if he does- man, when he gets hurt- There's two ways to go with this guy and only two ways to go. Either this absolute dramatic bitch will not stop complaining about the smallest cut for four days straight, or he has a sprained goddamn ankle and tells you that he's fine while literally dragging his leg behind him. There's no inbetween. And it wholly depends on whether he wants your attention or doesn't want you to worry.

[sea-owl]

The rare time I am posting on the website but I need that read more option right now.

Warning this have a little bit of spice in it. First time attempting it so it’s nothing great but I know my stuff don’t normally go past a teen rating so a fair warning. 

Penelope gasped as he entered her. She was on his lap, in front of a mirror. His hands cupping and messaging her breasts even as they spilled out between his fingers.

She can't see his face, only dark chesnut hair. His face was buried in her neck, marking it with every kiss.

"My clever, witty, beautiful Penelope, how I have missed you." His chuckles vibrate through her throat. “Did you miss me?” 

His hands move from her bosom to her hips where he used them to control their speed. 

“Yes,” Penelope moaned. “Oh god I’ve missed you!” 

 A name is on the tip of her tongue, but only gaps and moans seemed to escape her lips. 

He speed up the pace, pushing himself deeper in her. Penelope wanted to scream, she has never felt this full and completed in her life. 

The kisses leave her neck and she finds herself staring into glowing green eyes through the mirror.

“My clever, witty, beautiful Penelope. My wife and soulmate. The woman I’ve never stopped loving. Do you still love me?” 

“C-Co-Col-”

“Colin,” Penelope said out into the darkness. She was laying on her stomach, her body relaxed, and her clit sensitive. Her face and chest flushed. On her night stand the red numbers read 3am. “Damn it. Another wet dream.” 

Penelope sat up, half running her hand through her red curls. While her dreams are not new and she swears she’s been having them since she was sixteen, they have defiantly become more frequent. She needs to get laid- 

A shiver ran up Penelope’s back. 

“Maybe some hot coco will help me get back to sleep,” Penelope muttered. 

One of the rare regrets Penelope has of moving into this big ass mansion Simon inherited, and only moved into when he convinced all seven of his friends to move in with him, was how long it took her to get to the kitchen. Granted it only took her five minutes max, but when you spent all your college years living in an apartment where the kitchen was a few steps away it was an adjustment. 

“I see you cannot sleep either.”

Penelope looked up. Phillip has beaten her to the kitchen tonight. “Are you okay? Is there anything wrong with Oliver and Amanda?”

Phillip shook his head. “The twins are alright. It’s not there turn to be having dreams tonight.” He offered a mug to Penelope. “It seems at least one of us is down here lately at odd hours.”

Penelope nodded. It did truly seem that way. Sophie claims it’s probably just group stress since everyone uplifted their lives and moved here when they all got amazing offers at the same time. (Hence, how Simon managed to convince all of them to move in.) Others are convinced the whole group was haunted, that’s how they all became friends, instead of them just meeting through circumstance like they did. 

“Well Kate is about one dream away from calling any holy figure to come bless the house.” 

Phillip laughed. “Well maybe we need it.”

Penelope shivered again, and so did Phillip. The two talked quietly and watched as one by one their friends, and Phillip's twins came stumbling into the kitchen.

Penelope observed the room, all of her friends were tired. Shadows under their eyes, and some of them slowly tracing up and down their arms or around their necks like they’re following a line. Even Oliver and Amanda appeared tired as they cuddled up to their father. Oliver dozed while Amanda drew a picture.

"Auntie Pen," Amanda called to her.

Penelope leaned forward. "Yes dear?"

Amanda pointed at her picture. "Uncle Colin has green eyes right?"

Penelope froze. Amanda had drawn a crude family tree, though she's not sure which family it's supposed to be. Each one of her friends were on a branch labeled aunt or uncle, or father in Phillip's case with someone else attached to them also labeled aunt or uncle, and one labeled mother. While above the branches are a picture of a couple labeled Grandpa Edmund and Grandma Violet.

Anthony and Kate. Benedict and Sophie. Colin and Penelope. Daphne and Simon. Eloise and Phillip. Francesca and Michael. Gregory and Lucy. Hyacinth and Gareth.

How-how did Amanda know about Colin? She's never used his name when she spoke about her dreams to her friends. In fact the twins were never in the room either when they discussed the dreams.

Another shiver hit Penelope, this one concentrating on the back of her neck.

"Yes dear," Penelope said, lightly hitting Phillip's thigh to gain his attention. "Uncle Colin's eyes are green."

Phillip looked down at his daughter's picture and his eyes widened. This gained the attention of the others who also looked at the picture.

"That's it!" Kate shouted. "I'm calling every holy figure near hear and having this house exorcise!"

A feeling of something loosely wrapping around her shoulders hot Penelope. Then eight laughs could be heard. One of them sounding like a voice she's only heard in her dreams.

"Don't worry my love. Nothing will separate us again."