#it's 3am and I have insomnia can you tell
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razzberrydazz · 1 year ago
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The fact that not one, not two, but FOUR of my IRL friends took one look at Astarion and said I kinned him nigh unprompted is so funny to me. The council communed to label me as mini Astarion, I cried out in protest that it was not that deep an attachment, I am dragged kicking and screaming to the dungeons until I admit that it's true.
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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gh0st-t0wn3 · 1 year ago
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Lmk ss edits + Headcanons, Part 2 (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Sun Wukong, Macaque)
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- He/Him
- Bisexual
- Huge environmentalist, if you put any garbage or recycling in the wrong bin expect to get at least a three hour lecture, no you can not escape this, yes MK and Mei have tried, no they did not succeed
- ONLY shops from farmers markets/family businesses, you will never catch this man supporting a corporation
- Use to steal Tang's college hoodies
- Took him the longest to get used to having Redson around and a part of the group , but eventually warmed up to him (is still kinda salty about Redson burning MK's room though)
- Grows his own herbs
- Gets incredibly frustrated when he gets the hiccups (writing this as I'm fighting off hiccups)
- Loves watching true crime shows and listening to true crime podcasts while he does household chores or while he's setting up/closing the shop
- Got his ears pierced with Tang
- MK and Mei call him mom when he's being overbearing, Tang calls him mom now too to tease him
- Once caught Mei and MK sneaking food out of the kitchen at 3am and beat them with a broom for a solid minute because he was too drowsy to recognize them and assumed they were intruders (they were fine)
- Is the type of person to call his husband (Tang) "bro", "dude" etc
- Got drunk in college once and talked about nothing but how much he loved Tang, didn't remember any of it the next day but Tang asked him out pretty quickly after that
- Exchanged a few recipes with DBK while they were at the beach, they still do exchange more recipes once in a while but they don't talk much outside of cooking related topics
- Learned how to play dnd in college because Tang liked the game and ended up liking it a lot more than he expected to so they wound up playing together all the time (they still play it once in a while if they have time)
- Him and Sandy get together every other weekend to try and help Pigsy with his anger management issues
- Never called MK his son while he was growing up because he was scared that MK's real family would show up one day to take him back home, finally realized that no one was gonna show up a short while after MK turned 10 and started acting like an actual parent (MK always saw Pigsy as his dad though)
- Always says "this is the last time" when giving Tang free noodles (it is never gonna be the last time, and Tang knows it)
- Once bumped into a mannequin at the mall and apologized to it, Tang still makes fun of him
- Use to take Mei and MK to conventions all the time until Mei learned how to drive and could take them herself
- Won't care for people getting hurt in movies but will be absolutely crushed if something happens to an animal (sobbed when he watched "A Dog's Purpose")
- Smells like noodles
- Love language is acts of service
- Keeps trying to convince Tang to come with him to family events, has yet to succeed
- Carries around an extra pair of headphones in case Tang or MK needs them
- Almost threw hands with DBK and PiF after hearing about how they treated Redson (seriously guys, I need Redson to have a good parental figure in the next season, please), this man is a father to everyone
- Snores loud as fuck, it's a wonder how Tang gets any sleep
- No fashion sense what's so ever
- Insomnia
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- He/Him
- Gay
- Once zoned out and stared at a wall for six hours straight
- Desk is covered in pencil shavings and pen ink
- Constantly bruised from always falling (weak ankles)
- Fluent in Polish, don't ask why, it just feels right
- Doodled all over his books in school (they made him pay for new ones)
- Never up before sunrise
- Got in some random dudes car once thinking it was a taxi and almost got himself kidnapped
- Will make the most annoying, smart-ass remark to anything anyone says
- I'm not actually sure if it's ever mentioned in the show what Tang does for a living but it doesn't matter, he's a college history professor now
- Has grandma floral bedsheets (we've all seen his sleepwear, you cannot tell me that man doesn't have grandma floral bedsheets)
- Somehow always cold
- Constanly napping, he can and will fall asleep if he's left alone for too long (his students once caught him asleep at his desk after lunch break and dipped class)
- Used to have hexagon glasses cause he thought they looked cool but found out Pigsy liked circular ones better so he got new ones
- Still has a septum piercing he got while he was in college but keeps it flipped up, he also has ear gauges
- When he met Pigsy's parents he was super nervous and ended up passing out half way through the night because of anxiety, he has not lived it down and refuses to go to any events with Pigsy if his family is gonna be there (they actually really liked him and are disappointed when he doesn't show up)
- Doesn't own a bookshelf for some reason, everything is just piled on the floor
- Very faint freckles
- Needs a daily 'to do' list, his whole day gets thrown off if he doesn't have some kind of schedule
- Maladaptive daydreamer
- Never showers, only takes baths
- Needs headphones on crowded transportation otherwise he'll get stressed at all the noises and talking overlapping eachother
- Severe rsd (rejection sensitivity dysphoria,  "benched" was an especially bad time for him)
- Number one art appreciator and constantly drags Pigsy to museums
- Smells like a library (please tell me you know what smell I mean)
- Love language is gift giving ( and you KNOW he loves you when he shares his food with you willingly)
- 76% of the clothes he owns are thrifted
- Blind as a fucking bat, if he looses his glasses he's on the floor feeling around for them like Velma,  I swear they could be two feet in front of him but he won't even notice
- Hypersomnia
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- He/Him
- Bisexual
- Huge conspiracy theorist, ask him anything and he'll have some in depth explanation on how it relates to cryptids or something (I'm talking Matpat level conspiracy theorist, seriously, someone get him help)
- Slowest typer on the planet (mainly because the screen is too small for his hands), will respond to something 3-5 minutes after they changed topics
- Made seed bombs and threw them everywhere at random around the city and now there's a bunch of flowers and vines growing everywhere
- Was the first one (Aside from Mei and MK) to welcome Redson into the group with open arms, everyone else was still kinda cautious
- Would literally die for any of his friends, no questions asked, no hesitation, just jumps in the line of danger as soon as he sees one of his friends about to get hurt
- Didn't have a lot of friends growing up until he met Pigsy in his last year of high school because everyone was afraid of him
- He and Pigsy were in a band together in college, Sandy discusses it with pride, Pigsy gets embarrassed and denies ever being in a band at all
- Since he also has scales he's the one who teaches and helps Mei look after her scales and keep them from drying or getting damaged
- Yoga master, wakes up super early to do it during sunrise
- Has the best taste in music, he can find the most amazing, tear jerking, heart wrenching, underground music ever effortlessly
- Hasn't met a single person he wasn't able to get along with
- Firmly believes in all the little wishing rituals (11:11, shooting stars, birthday candles, blowing dandelions etc)
- Learned how to whistle so he could sing along with birds
- *gets robbed* "oh, i bet he needed the money, it's ok"  "I really don't think he did." "...maybe he's gonna donate it!"
- Favourite kind of tea is earl grey
- Named one of his cats Maquack after Macaque
- Sometimes cat sits for Bai He when she goes to doctor appointments, family visits out of the city, etc
- Got his piercing while he was still in a band but kept them in because his band mates were some of his first friends and they all got pierced together
- Has a tail to help him swim better (unfortunately I could not add it in the edit above but just I imagine he has the same kind of tail as the water Na'vi in Avatar ig)
- Skin has a faint ombre to it (his hands and feet are lighter and fade around his forearms/knees to a slightly darker blue (i did add this one in my edit but unfortunately I don't think it's as visible as I wanted it to be, my bad)
- Webbed hands and feet to help him swim better
- Has adipose eyelids like a fish to protect his eyes from the water, block exposure of harmful ultraviolet light into his eyes and act as protection against impact to the eye in aquatic environments. Since his eyelids are transparent though, he has to wear a sleeping mask at night
- Smells like a mix of ocean air and tea
- Love language is quality time and physical touch (will pick up and hug his friends all the time no matter the place)
- His hair and beard always have something in them, sand, seaweed etc
- Shoes are actually really uncomfortable for him to wear because his body is evolved for an aquatic environment, but he doesn't want to be rude so he wears them anyway (Mei found out and got him a customized pair of shoes so he could be comfortable without feeling like he's being rude)
- Uses Kaomojis
- If he's not busy, or doesn't have anything planned for the next few hours, he'll spend his free time cleaning up the ocean and beaches from any garbage
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- He/Him
- Pansexual
- Everything he has ever done has been an impulse decision
- Is the type of mf to kick the inside of someone knee while they're walking to make them fold (Tang is the primary victim)
- Chews his nails
- Made up his own constellations as a "fuck you" to the universe (somehow managed to convince some mortals they were real constellations too)
- Mk and Co constantly forget how ancient swk is until he says some old person shit
- Naturally has curly and untamable hair, uses glamor to avoid getting called out about not taking care of it
- Horrifically optimistic
- Always has leaves and dirt and sticks etc in his hair
- Will sit out in the rain for hours on end
- Follow up on the last hc, he's been struck by lightning.. twice
- Actually has really heavy eyebags but uses glamor to cover them up
- Gets bored super easily
- Has naturally long lashes, Mei is still convinced he's wearing makeup though
- Cannot cook for the life of him
- His memories are always in shades of gold, no ones sure if it hasn't something to do with his gold vision or not, even himself, he just can't remember things in normal colour
- Stress induced migraines from the circlet
- Not a fan of big cities but loves how the lights look at night
- Stacks of notebooks and loose paper, cannot keep anything organized
- Takes a nap everyday at exactly 2:38 without fail
- Freezes in the winter, man's house has no insulation whatsoever
- Doesn't like big crowds but also can't stand not being the center of attention
- Once picked fleas out of both MK's and his own hair and ate them, MK was and still is disgusted, he will never look at Monkey King the same way again
- Smells like Peaches (it's like the only fucking thing he eats)
- Love language is physical touch
- Kinda chubby (mostly around his stomach and thighs) but still has muscles
- Always teasing Redson about the fact that he's technically his uncle since he and DBK are sworn brothers, he finds Redson's overreactions to it funny but is secretly kinda hurt that Redson doesn't think of him as family anymore (He use to when he was a little kid but stopped seeing Wukong as family after he sealed DBK away. They've started to try and mend their relationship after the events of season 4, it's slow but it's progress)
- Sometimes the monkey's on FFM will come into his house through the windows at night to sleep with him for comfort
- Really bad with technology but pretends he's just too good for the internet so he can avoid using it without looking old
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- He/Him
- Bisexual
- Says his "S"'s really sharply
- If you ask him anything about himself he'll give you a different answer to the exact same question everytime (he thinks it makes him mysterious,  it does not)
- Lower lid eyeliner >>>
- If you say something stupid or weird he'll just stare judgingly until you take it back
- Actually lost his mind when he found out what blowing bubbles were
- Drinks tea with an ungodly amount of sugar
- Chronic eye pain + headaches. It's gotten significantly better over the years but.. yk, eye gouged out
- Has a deeply relaxing voice, strangely enough
- Has tried to compliment people before but it always ends up coming off as an insult
- Classical music or heavy rock, no in-between
- It is literally impossible to take a bad picture of him
- Puts his hair up in a bun whe he doesn't wanna deal with it
- Has patches of freeze burns from LBD, along his right side (mostly just his arm).
- Theater kid
- Rose tea enjoyer
- Likes to bake sometimes and frequently exchanges recipes with Pigsy and DBK
- Like to watch the sunrise and sunset
- Hates being out in the sun too long, not having a shaded area nearby for an easy escape stresses him
- Will stare out the window while it rains, Mei once said he looked like he was pretending to be in a cringey early 2010 music video
- Hard of hearing, his six ears are very sensitive and all the fighting and screaming has definitely done some damage to them by now
- Follow up on the last HC, despite being hard of hearing he will either absolutely refuse to wear hearing aids, or will wear them (albeit begrudgingly) but cover them with glamor
- Septum and snake bite piercings he got during his emo phase
- Smells like grapes, don't ask
- Love language is quality time, he doesn't care to actually have a conversation, though, he's fine just sitting in comfortable silence
- Will use his shadow transport for the dumbest things when he's lazy, like teleporting the TV remote to him if it's on the other side of the couch, teleport a bag of chips from the pantry to him in his bedroom,  etc
- Room is covered in scented candles
- Sandy has invited him over to work out some of his problems multiple times, he doesn't really care to open up though, he just goes for the cats (Sandy let's him)
- His hair is always soft and he refuses to tell anyone what he washes with, MK has asked multiple times and he gets a different, vague answer everytime
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februarybluues · 1 year ago
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enemies with benefits || 4 - girl (you really got me goin')
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warnings: kissing, basically just making out, NO SMUT, just like very suggesstive, cursing, flirting, you and hobie 'hating' each other (wink wink), horrible british (im trying guys🙏)
read previous part here -- series masterlist
Normally, the sound of the rain splashing onto your window was one that effortlessly lulled you to sleep. But, for some reason you couldn’t. Your head rested on your pillow, eyes shut tightly, but you couldn’t sleep. The alarm clock next to your bed shouted ‘2:32 a.m’. You groaned, rolling over onto your side; hoping the new position would help you sleep. But alas, it didn’t. If anything, it made it worse. You weren’t sure why you couldn’t sleep. You had a fairly busy day, and you were tired. – but you just couldn’t. Feeling defeated, you rolled onto the other side, now facing the window. And you looked back just in time to see a familiar face climbing in through it. In comparison to the last time he had entered your room, he looked different. Exceptionally wrecked. While, yes, he wasn’t injured like before, or at least you couldn’t see any physical injuries, his face was different; anguished. He looked exhausted. And yet his eyes looked hungry as they darted over to your own. “Hobie? It’s late, what are you doing here?” you sat up from your bed and stood up. But he didn’t say anything, he just muttered something before walking towards you, only stopping when he was a fair distance apart from you, looking as if he was debating getting closer to you.
“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” you asked, genuinely concerned as to why he’d decided to show up at this hour - uninvited. He stayed quiet. His eyes shifted down to the ground and his hands stayed in his pockets. Although it was subtle, he was slowly inching closer to you. You spoke again, almost desperate to hear him say at least something. “Hobie, answer me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” “Tha’s the problem.” he finally spoke out, now standing directly in front of you; barely leaving space between the both of you. “What?” you asked, growing more confused and concerned by the minute. He practically towered over you, having to look down at you slightly in order for your eyes to meet. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little attractive. “Y’too polite. Care too much ‘bout me.” his voice was low, and raspy; as if he were tired. “What are you talking about?” you asked, but he pretty much ignored it. “It all makes sense now.” “Are you drunk?” you asked, trying to figure out what was happening. “Nope. ‘M sober as can be” “So, Why are you here? It’s almost 3am, Hobie.” “If i wanted th’time, woulda’ asked you for it, sweet’eart.” a smile slowly started to grow on him as he looked at your confused state, admittedly checking you out. It stayed quiet like that for what felt like forever; just staring into each other's eyes, waiting for the next move. “Why are you so fuckin’ irresistable?” he suddenly spoke out, which caught you off guard. Before you could question him furthermore, he continued. “I see what your doin’,” he began, lifting his hand up to cup your cheek – which almost instantly turned bright red. “Walkin’ around, lookin’ all pretty, thinkin’ i ‘aven’t caught on to how ya look at me with those pretty eyes. D’you know the effect ya have on me?” your eyes widened. “What are you saying?” you struggled to hide how flustered you were becoming. 
“You ruin me.” he said, smiling like a fool. “Is that so?” you asked. “Sure is, doll.” you weren’t sure if it was the insomnia talking or not, but you were suddenly feeling bold. “And what are you gonna do about it?” he chuckled, amused at the sudden change. His hand moved from your cheek to your chin, tilting it up to make you look at him. “What do you want me t’do ‘bout it?” Instead of seeing the cocky smirk you were so used to seeing, his eyes looked determined - eager. maybe it was the lack of sleep that prevented you from being able to think straight, or maybe he was just being a fucking idiot. Regardless, he leaned down even more towards you, and never once broke eye contact. Before you could question what was happening, Your face was moving on its own, getting closer to his. You felt time stop then and there as you realised what was happening.
Were you really going to kiss your mortal enemy?
Yes. yes you were. you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, silently cursing his height and pulled him down to you so that you could crash your lips together. Hobie almost instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist, squeezing you. You raised your arms up to his head and rested them around his neck. You completely relished this moment. He kissed you with passion, and perfection. It was unbelievable. You practically melted away at his touch. Right now was more important to you than anything. You were too enchanted by him to even care about the fact that he was your sworn enemy. Your head was fuzzy, unable to think straight.
You turned him around and pushed him down so that he was sitting on the bed, and he wasted no time pulling you onto his lap.Your lips stayed together all throughout it. His arms slithered down your hips, his eyes sealed shut. You could barely believe this was happening. He tilted his head slightly as he deepened the kiss. The entire moment was pure bliss. He squeezed whatever exposed skin he could find, his hands reaching under your shirt. Your heart was racing. This was so wrong, but it just felt so right. It was his own fault for being such a good kisser anyways. and the way he so absent-mindedly slipped his tongue in, swirling around yours perfectly. It was the closest you’d ever been to heaven. You hated him so much. Every time your gaze was met with his instantly ruined your day. And yet, for some fucking reason you just wouldn’t stop. You couldn’t. The both of you were desperate for some kind of contact. you tried to get as close to him as you could, practically crushing your chest against his.
After a while you pulled apart to catch your breath, panting. You looked at him with a lovesick look in your eyes, pupils practically heart-shaped and lustful. At that moment, it was like the whole world fell silent. Until hobie quickly broke it up, laughing. You tilted your head at him, confused. “What’s so funny?” you asked, and he grinned. “It’s just - You talk all this big talk ‘bout ‘ow much y’hate me, yet here you are.” he talked, his hands remained on your hips, not daring to move. You shook your head at him. “That’s not fair! I do hate you!” you defended, but he wasn’t having it. “If you ‘ate me so much then why’re you in my lap right now?” He had a point. And you hated him for it. “Well- You know-” Your flustered brain could not come up with an excuse for the life of you, which frustrated you slightly. “Exactly.” he said and you groaned.
“Just shut up and kiss me.” you said and he quickly obliged. How could he say no to that? He pressed his lips against yours once more; reconnecting them. It almost felt wrong to be doing this; kissing the ‘enemy’. You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t be feeling this way towards him. But as the kiss deepened, you stopped caring. If it was so bad, why was it so perfect? Why did your lips fit together so perfectly if you were supposed to hate him? He raised one of his hands up to cup your cheek, the other still holding onto your hip tightly. He didn’t go home that night. Instead, he stayed with you. Your head rested on his chest as you experienced debatably the best night’s sleep you’ve ever had. Although his intrusion was unprecedented, it did technically cure your insomnia. You had him to thank for that. Alright fine, maybe Hobie Brown wasn’t that bad after all.
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maybe one day i'll write a smutty version of this taglist: @hobies-wrld @elloelloello293874 @lavnderluv @ginseng-green-tea @ididntwantthisbutithappened @thatweirdgirlsposts @clown420cunt @sh-tposter2021 @wannabe-fic-reader @large-unit @pastelaine @babydollfoster @theleftkittycollection @sparklyphantom @arminsgfloll @myoifilm @fanboyluvr @fuckyouimthecrowman @ilovemymomscooking @fl1ghtl3ssdrag0n @c3f21 @1eonk @themetalbabygirl @captainloki1
some of yall cant be tagged as you can probs see so idk
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spacebarbarianweird · 9 months ago
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Hi!! I eat up ur comfort fics so how about a tav! That’s so overwhelmed mentally they have a lot of trouble sleeping and how the companions (of ur choosing or just one) would help/react to finding them awake crying at like 3am. I’ve been having so much trouble sleeping and it would mean a lot🫶🫶
Oh, that hits home! My insomnia is the worst! And the darkness always comes in the quitest hours of the night. Hope, you don't mind an OC fic with Tiriel the Barbarian as Tav. If it's not to your liking send me another request, I will gladly write another one (or doing your class/race)
Insomnia
Summary: Astarion isn't the only who has traumatic past.
Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)
Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, named Tav, established relationship, f!tav
Thanks @themadlufor beta-reading!
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Masterlist
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"Fairy girl!" the chieftain bellows. "Come here, little bitch!"
Tiriel tries to hide. She isn't Tiriel yet —she is only twelve, and she doesn't have a name yet. Only slurs and nicknames - Pixie, Fairy, Rabbit. All possible insults toward someone who is only half a human as if it were her fault her mother didn't keep her legs shut when a handsome young elf passed by their village.
The nameless girl is smaller in size than her siblings - the Chieftain's children. Mother has five with him - three older than "Fairy Girl" and two younger. The youngest ones don't understand why one of their sisters has pointy ears and can see in the dark but the others happily "put the elven bastard in line."
"Didn't you hear, Pixie girl?" The stepfather is getting angrier.
No. Don't approach him. You know what he is going to do!
An older brother, sixteen and almost adult, grabs the half-elven girl's collar and drags him to the chieftain. The brother is as cruel as his father and will never forgive his mother's infidelity.
"We should have fed you to the wolves once you were born, Pixie"
I have a name you fucking bastard, my name is Tiriel!
No, not now. Three years. Three years more of misery, humiliation, beatings - but it will end. It will end with fire in the girl's veins, the primal gift of Rage. With blood and violence when the chieftain choked on his own blood. With running away through the cold autumn woods and merciless mountain winds. With tears of desperation when the girl realizes she is on her own lost, and tired.
It will end with a party of adventurers led by an old Tiefling telling the "Pixie girl" that she needs a name, not a slur. Asking her to lead them through the wildernes. Allowing her to be part of their team, a reckless Barbarian who kills first and asks later.
Tiriel, she will tell them. My name is Tiriel.
But the grasp of the nightmare doesn't relent to her. Pain. Cry. Half of her ear is covered in blood. A burst of laughter. An angry dwarf-healer takes the girl to her hut to stitch the ear back.
Tiriel opens her eyes.
She can't understand where she is. She is in a dark tent, under a thick blanket. It's so thick it's difficult to breathe.
No, it's not only the blanket wrapped around her.
She gently touches Astarion's curls. The vampire sleeps covering her body like a weighted blanket. His head is on her chest, hands wrapped around her. He doesn't breathe, his heart doesn't beat.
He is in an elven trance.
Tiriel hopes he is seeing something good.
They've been together for two years, traveling further and further and further North. Sooner or later they will have to turn back, probably heading South-east, but for now they are simply moving, following their mutual wanderlust.
The nightmare was so real Tiriel almost feels like she re-lived those events. But human ancestry prevents half-elves from the experience of reverie.
She needs to go out, to the sunlight - the northern days are so short Tiriel craves at least some of it.
But with Astarion sleeping on her it's impossible. Well, at least he doesn't need much time.
She tries to go back to sleep but can't. Tiriel is tired from the insanity of the last day - she hasn’t slept well because they couldn't find shelter and had to flee into the underground tunnels. They were followed by at least three different groups of enemies that forced them into fighting.
Tiriel needs to sleep.
But she can't.
The events of the past wrap around her mind. Her miserable childhood, her terrible mother, her awful siblings. Only the old dwarf, a retired adventuress, was kind to her.
She feels a wave of tears approaching. Tiriel chokes on them and at that moment Astarion's hands hug her tighter.
He is very well aware of his surroundings when he trances.
Tiriel brushes her finger along his ear forcing his body to stir.
"I thought you slept longer than me," he mutters, slowly returning to reality.
Tiriel hugs him tighter, caressing his back’s scars. Gods, she loves it when he is like that!
Conscious and aware of his surroundings but absolutely unable to make coherent movements and dominate the situation.
"Can't sleep."
"Considering what we've been through it's rather alarming", he wakes up and leans on his elbows and Tiriel shivers, feeling the cold air between their bodies.
And then he notices.
"You've been crying, haven't you?"
Tiriel's mind interprets it as a signal and she bursts into tears. But who is crying? Tiriel the Barbarian or that nameless girl she once was?
Astarion sits up and tugs Tiriel into him, cradling her in his arms. She notices the utter panic in his crimson eyes changing to something else, something she can't yet identify.
"Hush, love, whatever it was, it's in the past - or we can kill it"
"It's just... I don't know..." Tiriel finds her voice. "It was so real. Now I know how it feels when you are tortured in your reverie. Do you think that can happen to me, too?"
"I have never heard of half-elves being able to meditate. It's something only Tel'Quessira can do. Even the ones with human blood, but who still pass as elves, have difficulties with that. What was it?"
"My bastard stepfather, my bitch mother, and my cut ear"
Astarion presses his lips to her forehead. Then he kisses her cheeks and fingers - there is no lust or desire in it, he kisses her like a parent would kiss a sick child, trying to soothe their pain.
It really does make her feel better.
She sighs. "I really need to sleep. But I can't."
"Then don't. Why torture yourself?"
"Because it will be a long night once the sun sets."
"Not an answer, Tiriel."
Tiriel smiles. Astarion doesn't have any pet names for her - sometimes calls her "love" or "heart" but mostly it's just Tiriel. And her name dances on the tip of his tongue, ringing like a prayer, like a spell.
He brushes his fingers along her ear lobes, then swipes along her facial scar and kisses her neck. She feels his fangs but he doesn't try to bite.
Astarion rarely feeds from her - usually when nightmares grip him or there isn't enough food for him.
"Astarion."
"Hm?"
"You can bite me if you want."
"Who am I to say no to such a generous offer. Although, are you sure?"
"Yes, the blood loss will make me dizzy. And I will be hungry once wake up."
"Absolutely not a problem my dear, there is plenty of prey in the woods."
Astarion helps her to lie back on the bedroll and kneels beside her. She notices the predatory spark in his eyes.
The fangs pierce her skin and Tiriel feels like drowning in the cold water. Her eyesight gets blurry, and a gentle numb feeling spreads through her body.
As he releases her, the darkness takes her. There are no nightmares, no memories - only peace.
***
Astarion leaves the tent and breathes the cold autumn air. Night calls upon him and so is the hunt. Well, Tiriel will be hungry like a starved wolf once she wakes up. And she will also crave something sweet.
Sometimes she is brave and fierce and sometimes she is like a little girl asking for candy after a rough day.
Tiriel never had a good childhood. It still drives Astarion mad - he was an adult when all that abuse happened to him. And there are probably still people alive who decide it's a good idea to beat a child, cut her ears, starve her as if she were at fault for existing.
Tiriel could have grown up bitter and evil, and she had the right to be like that; instead, she became the kindest and bravest person he has ever met.
Brave enough to let him close. So kind to find good things in him. She is clumsy, rude, and loud but delicate at the same time. There is some ghostly elegance in Tiriel, a gift from her elven ancestors. Mixed with the stubbornness and fire that are innate to humans.
Well, maybe, they should go look for her home village together and beat some asses. Tiriel will definitely feel better about it. He still remembers how she kicked Cazador's dead body once they were all ready to leave the dungeons.
 Her kindness is paired with violence, and that's another thing he loves..
"Sleep well, love," he whispers. "I will be back before you wake up."
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen
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marvelfanfics1 · 2 years ago
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Congratulations on 3k gorgeous you deserve it so much!, for your celebration could I possibly request something with cg!thor where little!reader has insomnia and didn’t sleep the night before so she’s really clingy and tired the next day and it’s really soft and fluffy?, if not it’s completely fine have an absolutely stunning day/night my lovely!<3
Warnings: Age Regression, insomnia, soft!Thor 🥺
A/n: Thank you so much my darling! And not me writing this at almost 3am-😭 I hope you have a good day/night <3
3k follower celebration
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Thor was bouncing you around in the Avengers compound while humming some lullaby he knows from his childhood.
He was doing that for hours now because you couldn't sleep last night but he never complained or got tired, your well-being is much more important to him.
The god knows that you have trouble with sleeping and does everything he can to make you feel comforted and cared for.
You would get extremely clingy and depending on your daddy, whining or crying when he wanted to put you down even just for a second.
You sniffle and held your stuffie close, feeling guilty for keeping Thor up the whole night and not being able to leave his side.
"M sowwy" you mumbled against his shoulder.
"Shh, do not worry your pretty head, my little one. Everything is alright, I'm here for you" he assured you while rubbing your back.
You could see the sun slowly rising and jumped a little in Thor's arms when you heard someone talking.
"Good morning, Thor" Steve greeted him, noticing the tired little in the Asgardian's arms. "Rough night?"
"Just had some trouble falling asleep but that's okay, I don't mind walking around with the tiny one" Thor answered him, leaning his head against yours.
"Okay, I'll see you at breakfast then," Steve said, heading out for his morning run.
Thor got with you back to your quarters and was about to set you down on the bed but you whimper, your hold tightening around him.
"Daddy has to use the bathroom, I'll be right back," he said, placing a soft kiss on your cheek. You eventually let go of him and let him put you down.
"Pwomise you come back?" you asked with your bottom lip wobbling slightly.
"I promise, my love" he smiled and went to the bathroom.
Just as he promised he came back seconds later, drying his hands on his shirt he walked over to you and got on the bed next to you.
He pulled you close and handed you your favorite paci.
"Do you want to hear a story about how uncle Loki cut Lady Sif's hair?" he asked and you smiled, nodding your head and wrapping an arm around your daddy with your stuffie squished between your bodies.
Thor was still telling the story when he noticed your slower breathing and your paci laying on his chest. He sighed in relief that you finally get some deserved rest, even if it's just for a few hours.
                                   ⭒𖥸⭒ 
Taglist
@marvelsguantletkeeper @my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @st3rgirl @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc
Crossed out are the ones I somehow can't tag!
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neontoad · 10 months ago
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“One soul in two bodies”, people often say about Double Black. Chuuya calls bullshit on that. It’s ridiculous. But then why every time Chuuya comes to work after tossing and turning in bed all night unable to fall asleep, he sees that Dazai has dark circles under eyes as well? Why every time when Chuuya checks his phone at 3am, insomnia eating him alive, he sees that Dazai is online, too? Why does it feel like there is one more person wide awake in the sleeping city when Chuuya’s staring at the ceiling, as wakeful as ever?
One night, a message pops up on his phone.
🐟: You awake?
“Fuck off,” Chuuya mumbles to himself and turns the screen off. The night is quiet. The air still seems to be vibrating after the notification chime. He counts seconds.
Nothing disturbs the silence anymore.
The next day Dazai keeps yawning and stealing glances at Chuuya as they sit in another boring meeting. He ignores him, even though every time Dazai covers his mouth with his hand, Chuuya can’t help but yawn too.
He sleeps well that night. He knows Dazai does, too - he can tell by how stupidly annoying he is the next day. Chuuya knows well that only well-rested Dazai possesses such a ridiculous ability to get on Chuuya’s nerves in record time. He sleeps okay again. And again. And again. Chuuya even starts thinking that maybe he’s finally out of that cursed bout of insomnia. Seems like Dazai managed to get some sleep, too.
Until another night comes.
He’s exhausted - they have just finished a mission, the last one in a strenuous sequence, and the only thing Chuuya wants is to sleep until next week.
He can’t.
His phone chimes.
He doesn’t bother looking - he knows who’s texting him. Dazai’s insomnia is not his problem.
He lies with his eyes closed, hoping that maybe, just maybe he’ll be able to trick his brain into finally shutting down and letting him fall into Morpheus’ embrace, giving him the rest he so desperately needs. He doesn’t know how much time passes until he hears a knock.
“The fuck you want?” Chuuya grumbles, looking at Dazai miserably standing in the hallway of his apartment building.
“Just checking on my dear partner.”
“It’s 4 in the morning.”
“You make it sound like it’s a problem.”
“I was sleeping, you bastard.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
Dazai yawns and Chuuya follows suit, stretching his sore muscles. Fuck this, he thinks. I’ll let him be. Without saying a word, he turns on his heel and marches to the kitchen. Dazai follows him and plops on the stool. He probably thinks he looks smug. He looks like shit.
“I’ll have a whiskey,” he croaks and smiles.
“Fuck off,” Chuuya says, pouring Dazai three fingers and sliding it across the table before stopping in front of his wine cabinet. That’ll do, he thinks and pours himself a glass of red.
“You know, chibi,” Dazai muses, watching the ice in his glass bob up and down, “I blame you.”
Chuuya takes a sip of wine. He wonders if he looks as stern as he hopes he is. Or does he, akin to Dazai, resemble a miserable stray dog? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care.
“Whenever you can’t sleep, neither can I,” he continues. “It’s like we have some kind of invisible bond.”
Despite his fatigue, Chuuya can’t help but chuckle. Invisible bond! Dazai sure loves these stupid pretentious speeches. What an emo.
He downs his wine and goes to the living room. “Take your ass with your invisible bond to the couch,” he commands. “Let’s play.”
“It’s not a laughing matter!” Dazai whines but obeys, finishing his whiskey and leaving the cup on the table like the ungrateful pig he is.
Whiskey made him feel warm and fuzzy, making the unwelcoming sleepless night feel slightly less dire. Besides, playing video games with the slug is certainly a better pastime than tossing and turning on his old mattress. They play for a few hours, sleepiness going away as they keep beating each other in a video game, pushing each other with their shoulders and yelling at the top of their lungs.
Chuuya doesn’t care about his neighbours complaining - there’s no one living above him anymore, anyway.
The dark night gives way to the pale morning, timid rays of sun sneaking through the closed blinds. A ray falls on the empty whiskey cup, the last drops of the amber liquid shining like gold under the light. Another one shines on the shattered controller lying in the corner. Another ray of sun caresses the leaves of a half-dead plant on the bookshelf. Another - the picture on the wall, the five people on it forgotten by all but one. Another - the cobweb on the ceiling. Another - the brass door handle. As more time passes, the sun gets more comfortable dancing in the small apartment, its rays travelling across the walls, trinkets and furniture until they reach the boys sprawled on the couch.
Their breath is even, chests rising and falling in unison. Chuuya’s head is resting on Dazai’s lap, his hand against his chest still holding the beaten controller. He squirms when the sun shamelessly goes across his eyes but doesn’t wake up.
Neither does Dazai. He just smiles through his sleep and puts his hand on Chuuya’s back. The rays of sun stall before continuing to move across the room as if taking in the unusual, eerily peaceful atmosphere in the living room, the raging fire turned into quiet embers for a bit.
Chuuya might call bullshit on the “one soul in two bodies” idea.
But… the sun surely knows better.
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thatfreshi · 8 months ago
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A Post-party Interlude (Uni AU P. 19.5)
Hello everyone! Here is an interlude to catch up with our characters after the fated Halloween party, divided by hours of the night.
TW - mentions of self-harm, mentions of grooming, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of alcohol, extensive talk about sexual trauma in the 5AM section
-1 AM, the RU Rooftop, Gale and Shadowheart-
"You want a hit Gale?"
"No, not now."
...
"I'm sorry I dragged you out there like that. You can't just say that kind of stuff about people. Especially not about me."
"That's hardly fair, considering how you've been about Mystra."
"Two entirely different situations."
"Shadow, you're hurting yourself."
"So are you."
...
"I just don't get why you can't be happy for me."
"Because, she doesn't love you. Not like your friends do, not like your mother does, not like I do. I've been your best friend for how long Gale, how long? And you don't trust me on this?"
"But you clearly don't trust me either."
"It's different! Things at the church are very-"
"Very what? Private? Painful? You've been different ever since you stepped foot in that place, and I just stayed quiet. I just never thought it would go this far."
"It's a religious reminder Gale-"
"Bullshit, it's a way for her to control you all."
"And Mystra isn't controlling you?! How you're always on the phone with her at her beck and call? You're no better than me, so don't get on your high horse as if you can judge me. School is hard, studying medicine is hard, I need something."
...
"I can't watch you hurt yourself."
"Then don't. Maybe someone else will get it, but you don't have to. Go cry to your girlfriend about it."
-2AM, Lae, Shadow, and Tav's Dorm, Lae'zel-
(This conversation has been translated from Lae'zel's native language.)
"Yes?"
"You haven't called in a while. You're supposed to call."
"Yes, I know. I've been-"
"Training, right?"
"Of course, what else would I be doing?"
"Really? Because a little birdy told me you've been slacking. You think those 'injuries' are really that serious, don't you? You think you're allowed to make the K'liir family look like this?! We're warriors! You're, a warrior!"
"Of course. I will not disappoint Grandmother. I shall be healed soon."
"Perhaps it should be 'Vlaakith' to you for now, until you can earn the right to call me kin again, if you ever earn it again."
"Yes Vlaakith, I'll call you back soon."
-3AM, Karlach's Dorm, Karlach-
"I know Coach won't stop bothering me about it, but should I really do it? It's tricky I guess, seems more like she's threatening me than anything. Purposefully injuring people in my matches isn't enough for her I suppose. Steroids though? What even are the side effects of that?
...
Aggression, stomach pains, sleep problems... is that really so bad? I have those sometimes. Everyone has a good ol' bout of insomnia from time to time... right?
...
If I don't though, and she kicks me off the team... I can't get kicked off the team, I would lose all my funding, my friends, Shadow... I'm sure it'll be fine, right?
...
Where did she even find these? Are they safe? I mean, she wouldn't want to kill her best wrestler, right? This is to enhance my performance not, uh, de-hance it. So, I guess I just go for it? Maybe one to start, it's not like there directions on this thing right? Nope, thought so.
...
No turning back now I guess. Tell Coach, secure my place here, get to stay with my favorite people in the world... it'll all be perfect.
...
Right?"
-4AM, Wyll's Bedroom, Wyll-
"Deal Wyll Ravenguard, I'm Professor Mizora, although I'm sure you know me more as an administrator. I've seen your work around campus and would love to offer you the opportunity to do more good, especially since your father doesn't get many things moving around this school. Please reach out if you're interested, in haste if you can. I look forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, Professor Mizora.
...
Huh, odd. I've never heard of her before. You think my father would've mentioned her at some point. Then again, he doesn't talk much to me anymore, so I guess not. I cannot believe Astarion said that to me at the party. I mean, he wasn't wrong, but still, how impolite.
...
Maybe I need to hear it though. That perhaps what my father and I had... it's beyond repair. This Mizora character though, she seems to know about how he is now, and she clearly knows about me.
...
Dear Professor Mizora..."
-5AM, Astarion's Dorm, Tav and Astarion-
You wake up to pacing around the wooden floors, trying to turn in a bundle of blankets and sheets that have been strewn about. You sit up and try to wipe at your eyes, only crusted over from a few hours of sleep.
"Aster?"
Your voice comes out a little torn up from laughter and words shared hours prior. You certainly spoke for a long time, and not all of it you can remember. It is him pacing, as you could only assume in your half-asleep state.
"Hm? Oh, I didn't mean to wake you darling. You can go back to sleep."
"Are you alright?"
He pauses, stopping his eyes from darting around for your question.
"Why do you ask?"
"Because, if your pacing woke me up, then it's probably not just for fun."
"No dear, I was simply cleaning a little. I woke up, I figured I'd do something useful with the time."
"Don't start this out this way."
Your sentence comes out more strained that you would've liked, but it's true: you don't want to start things with him with secrets.
"You didn't lie to me before, don't lie to me now."
You pat his side of the bed, beckoning for him to come sit. He follows reluctantly.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
You furrow your brow and pick up a nearby pillow, threatening to start a fluffy fight.
"You know what! C'mon, talk to me."
He sighs, and you put down your weapon.
"Fine, if you insist on being open and honest or whatever... I got a little more drunk at that party than I wanted to admit, especially after I told you I can handle my liquor and all-"
"Out with it Astarion."
"Hey, don't you full name me."
You try not to smile at his banter, but it feels nearly impossible.
"I'm serious, out with it."
He runs his hands through his hair.
"We didn't... we didn't do more than kiss, did we? Ugh, that sounds ridiculous, I sound ridiculous!"
He gets up to anxiously move around again, and you get up to go after him.
"Hey, hey, no, that's not ridiculous! That's not ridiculous at all."
Astarion turns to face you.
"Why do you think that's ridiculous?"
Your question sounds meek, sad.
"You know... I mean I've slept with plenty of people, and I don't really talk about it with you because I didn't want you to see me that way, but I know other people have probably told you, and I know what happened when we met and I-"
You lightly grab his hands.
"Hey, as if I'd listen to other people. The only facts I've ever taken about you, are from you, okay? And sure, I've heard things, but it doesn't matter. And no, we didn't do anything else, and I wouldn't have done anything without your clear consent to do so, I hope you know that."
You gently pull him to sit back down with you on the edge of the bed.
"It just... it wasn't really up to me before. It was a survival tactic, you know? For money, because Szarr told me to... And that night? I only did it because I was scared you'd go off and tell someone the wrong thing at the wrong time, that it would only end up worse for me, and so I did what I always do. I did what I've always been taught to do."
"And you didn't want to do that this time..."
He seems embarrassed, as if he's trying to close up away from you.
"I don't think I've ever really had a healthy relationship with that kind of thing? And I just got really- really scared that I did what I've always done, that I did something I wasn't ready for. That just feels so stupid though."
"Why? Why does not wanting to sleep with me have to be stupid and ridiculous?"
"Because! Because you could go hook up with anyone you want. Everyone at this age, we're all doing it all the time. I'd be the weird one, right? I'd be the weird one, and you'd run off to someone else who actually wants to do something with you and then I would've ruined this before we even started it."
You pause, trying to find words.
"And this is why I didn't want to say anything."
"But if you didn't say anything-"
"Yeah. Yeah, if I didn't say anything, I suppose..."
He starts to choke on the sadness a little, that overwhelming feeling he's been trying to keep bottled up for hours.
"Astarion, look at me."
He does, with a look in his eyes as if he's been punished.
"I would never want you to do something you don't want to do, ever."
"But-"
"Nope, there's nothing else. You just never have to do anything you don't want to, ever again, unless it's like homework, or I don't know... not murder someone? Starting now, your body is entirely yours again, as it always should have been. Okay?"
He wraps his arms around you.
"Okay."
A mumble into your tattered adventurer's shirt from the night before.
"To be very clear though, I still want to kiss you, often."
You laugh as he leaves a kiss on your cheek, still crying some, your face matching.
"Of course."
You go on to talk for a while that evening, about boundaries, about various little things, even about how apparently one time he dyed his hair in middle school. Somehow, you get him to show you a picture. It's one of those nights, or rather, mornings, you know? One of those mornings where you laugh a lot, and then go back to crying, and you share that one traumatic story you thought you'd never remember. He tells you a lot that evening, good and bad, and you share a lot of tears. They're good tears though, tears that mean something. That morning, the good and the bad, it all means something.
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silentwillowwhisperer · 1 year ago
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*sparkle*
Hi, yep, I'm alive (maybe.)
Here we have cute flower shop Lance and Keith who is very bad at peopleing.
----------------------------------------
Keith slams the door of the nearest shop open and dashes inside. He bends over and grips his knees, panting. His drenched clothes are making a large puddle at his feet.
"Um... Can I help you?"
Keith looks up and surveys his surroundings. There are various plants of all shapes and sizes on every available surface, and brightly colored flowers pierce Keith's vision. His eyes trail all the way to the far end of the room until they meet iridescent blue.
"Are you ok? You look like you've been running from a herd of angry purple alien cats armed with guns."
Keith has to snort at that. It sounds like the plot of a cartoon made for 7-year-olds. (Which is exactly the sort of thing he likes to watch, but can we just let him pretend to be cool?)
The guy has golden brown skin and a splash of freckles across his cheeks. He has a couple inches on Keith and broad shoulders. The corner of his mouth is quirked up into a little smile, and oh my goodness, Keith really hopes that this guy is at least a little bit gay. (That would definitely make his day go from 'horrible freaking disaster' to 'wonderful freaking disaster.)
This is Shiro's fault. It's that dumb, skunk-haired jerk's fault that Keith is standing sopping wet and making eye contact with an unbelievably cute guy in the middle of a flower shop.
Keith had been sleeping peacefully when Shiro called him at 3am (you read that right, Shiro is a monster) to remind him to take medication. Keith could appreciate this gesture when it wasn't the witching hour, but it was and then Keith was awake, and yeah he hid take the medicine, and because insomnia exists, Keith gave up on sleep and decided to go for a very early run.
Keith can't be blamed for forgetting to check the weather forecast, it was early and he couldn't think about anything but coffee.
And that's why Keith decided to walk the 5 miles from his shack in the middle of nowhere to the nearest town to find a Starbucks.
And that's also why he had to run the last 3 miles because the sky opened up and god decided to have a good cry all over Keith and his favorite sweatshirt.
Yep, completely, 100% Shiro's fault.
Wait. Keith has been staring at the flower boy for too long hasn't he? He can tell from the furrow in his perfectly shaped eyebrows that Keith is not following social conduct right now.
"Right. Sorry. Raining. Water. It's wet." Keith is forcing out words and desperately hoping something he says actually makes sense.
The cute guy laughs. (hallelujah!) "Yes, I can see that. Would you like a towel?" All Keith can do is nod stupidly, terrified of saying something else and having Shimmery-Eye-Dude realize that Keith is about to pass out from social anxiety.
He walks up to the cash register to accept the towel being held out to him. As soon as he does, Dreamy Man smirks and leans up against the counter so that his wonderful face is only inches away from Keith's.
Is it safe to assume that Mr. Ocean Eyes is into guys?
Is this a thing that platonic male companions do when greeting each other??
Is Keith being initiated as a 'bro???'
Why is Keith allowed to leave home on his own???? He should never be allowed into a public area without someone to supervise him!
"I-I- um... h-hi?" Oh look, Keith's stutter is here to say hello.
Tall-Mocha-and-Handsome barks out a laugh. (Wow, Keith would really love a cup of coffee right now.) "Hi there. You come here often?"
Wait. Wait! Keith knows this! Shiro explained this to him last week! Flirting! Keith might have a chance after all!
"I- I've never been here inside of this place and if you mean have I been in front of your face before, no I don't think so because your eyes are kind of sparkling very loudly right now and I don't think I would have forgotten that even though I'm face bland and who are you because you might be flirting with me right now and I really hope so because your face is pretty and hi I'm Keith I'm gay."
Keith has to gasp in a breath of air after the word mush that just erupted from his traitorous face hole. Flirty-Person stares at his face in shock as he tries to process the words that have been shoved at him.
After what feels like an eternity, Please-Marry-Keith's mouth returns to its position in a crooked half-smile and his brow furrows slightly. Keith can't tell if this face means confused pity/teasing or endearment.
"O...k then. You're blunt, aren't you?"
Keith has used up his capacity for language-speaking, so all he can do is flush bright red and try to hide his face in the hood of his sweatshirt.
"Welp, I can work with that. Keith, is it? I'm glad you're not homophobic, you we're staring at me so long that I was worried that you were about to start spouting some nonsense about crimes to humanity. I'm Lance, and are you from outer space? Because your body is out of this world!"
Stop. No. There is no way that Lance (yay, finally, a name! Keith was about to start calling him Sokka.) is a dork. Because Keith's weak heart will actually die. Oop, too late, he's already dead. Deceased. He has officially kicked. the. bucket.
He can't help but dissolve in to giggles. He so caught of guard by the pick-up line that he has to brace himself against the counter to keep from collapsing onto the ground. He rests his forehead on the smooth marble surface and desperately tries to stop choking on his laughter.
"Awww, what? That was my best line!" Keith looks up at Lance's face to see him smiling fondly at him. At least he hopes that's what it is. It there still a chance that Lance is fake smiling to hide the fact that he's calling the police?
Keith finds himself smiling back.
(Two days later they have their first date at the park, Lance prepares a giant picnic and Keith has never been more excited.)
(Shiro never lets Keith hear the end of this.)
-------------------------------------------------------
I think that was an acceptable ending. Alright, now no one wake me up until I've had at least 10 hours of sleep or I might cry. (That means you @gavemebluethenpurplepinkskies, are you happy now?)
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bullet-clubs-bitch · 9 months ago
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can you please write an Christian Cage X Fem Reader Story, (age gap couple 22 years apart)
Reader is fighting insomnia and he recognized that her bed side is empty and when he's looking for her, he finds her on the living room windows sill watching the rain and he asks what's wrong and she tells him she's fighting insomnia from time to time and she didn't wanted to bother him, he guides her back to bed let her know that he is there for her every sleepless night and tug her under the blanket and let her lay on his chest and make sure that she feels comfortable and she hugs him tightly listening to his heart beat and she's slowly drifting of to sleep while he holds her tight in his arms, after she thanks him for always being there for her
Insomniac
Christian Cage X FemReader
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Christian Cage Masterlist Main Masterlist
One thing I hated about the spring was the weird in between weather we got. It was too warm to snow and not cold enough for the rain droplets to form into ice. The past week had been nothing but rain, all day everyday it rained. I was never one for the rain, it was cold, it was wet and it was miserable. Y/n loved the rain, she loved the way it felt on her skin, the way it smelt, the way it sounded as it hit the roof she adored it. So it made me happy when I saw how happy Y/n was with the rain.
Sometimes I worried about her, she was one of those people that were always so happy and kind to others but you knew deep down inside something was wrong. I knew she had depression and anxiety, I knew she had sleep problems but she always hid it from the rest of the world. I was one of the few fortunate people to know of this. I remember when I met her for the first time when I joined AEW, she was a writer for the show. I remember thinking she was a bit young for such a professional job but she was quick to show that her age didn’t define her skills. The ideas she came up with, the creativity she had was truly amazing. Maybe that’s why I fell in love with her.
I knew it would be scandalous, people would talk. How would you feel knowing that the two of us shared a 22 year age gap as she was 28 and I was 50. I knew how wrong it was, I knew I was too old for her but she was unlike anyone I had ever met before. We didn’t need to have a romantic relationship per say but I needed to get to know her, I had to know every detail about her. Somewhere along the line we fell in love and here we are, together in our shared home enjoying the rain on a miserable Tuesday night. 
I could tell something was up from the moment Y/n and I returned from last week's episode of Dynamite. I offered for the two of us to go on a mini vacation since there was no Collision this week but Y/n claimed she had to get work done for Revolution. That was fine, I knew she had a lot of work but sometimes I worried that she was doing too much. Y/n had all her paperwork spread out on our large dining room table as she sat working on her computer and sorting paperwork all day. She would have the fireplace on for warmth and had the calming rain in the background as she worked nonstop. It got to the point where she was up before I was and went to bed after me. Some nights I don’t even think she went to bed. Tonight was no different, as I twisted and turned in my sleep I rolled over and felt the familiar empty cold spot next to me. I checked the time and it was around 3am, how is she still up? As I slowly crept down the stairs I assumed Y/n would be in the kitchen still working but when I checked she wasn’t there. I searched the house and was starting to get scared when I couldn't find her. 
Just then I noticed a pile of blankets sitting on the window sill. “What’s wrong honey?” I asked Y/n gently as I carefully sat next to her. “I can’t sleep” “Why don’t you come up to bed and just lie down” “I can’t” “Why not honey? What’s the matter?” I knew not to push too hard in this situation but In order for me to help her I needed more details. I noticed the open computer and knew that this was due to all the stress she was under. “How can I help? Tell me what I can do to help you. I need to know what’s wrong in order to help you!” “I just can’t” “Can’t what honey?” “I can’t do this. I’m so tired but I can’t sleep, I have so much work and everytime I finish one thing five more new things show up” Y/n was now facing me and I could tell how tired she really was. Poor thing looked exhausted and I knew with Revolution being two weeks away this would only get worse. 
“Do you want me to talk to TK-” “NO!, no ...sorry, I shouldn't have said anything Christian. I’m sorry I woke you up. It’s nothing really…I…” “Don’t ever apologize alright. That’s what I’m here for Y/n. I don’t care if you wake me up at 1am or 3am, I will be there for you during every sleepless night alright. I love you so much, I can’t even explain it. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I promise you I will be there for you for every second of it okay?” I noticed a few tears fall from Y/n’s face and I was quick to wipe them away. “You alright?” I asked her “I’m just so tired” I hated seeing Y/n like this but unfortunately this is part of the job. “I know baby, I know. Let’s go to bed” “Can you carry me?” How could I say no to that? I carefully carried Y/n upstairs before tucking her securely under the sheets. I held her close as I waited for her to fall asleep before even attempting to fall asleep myself. “Thank you Christian” “Anytime my love, now get some rest. We have a flight tomorrow” 
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dailydragon08 · 2 years ago
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Random cute Luke x Reader headcanons that live in my head rent-free pt 4 (dancing edition)
- I know I just posted pt 3, but the last bullet put me in my dancing with Luke feels, so here’s another one lol.
- He’s not the best dancer, but he tries for you. He doesn’t actually know any moves, but loves just making it up as he goes and having fun with you (if you teach him some moves though, he turns into mr smooth/graceful on the dance floor and even Leia is impressed).
- Whenever he had nightmares or couldn’t sleep as a kid, Beru would have little dance parties in the kitchen with him at 3am. Sometimes he still goes into the kitchen after a nightmare or during a bout of insomnia cuz he finds it comforting.
- You found him in the kitchen once and, even though you had no idea about his and Beru’s dance parties, you grabbed his hands to comfort him. When some music from another room/part of the base floated through the door, you started swinging your entwined hands back and forth while smiling shyly up at him. He got all teary eyed and pulled you close as he began to slowly dance with you.
- Sometimes he’ll do this with his padawans too after starting his Jedi academy. If you two have kids, he’ll do it with them too, no matter how little they are. Even if they’re just an infant who can’t even sit up by themselves yet, he’ll just cradle them in his arms and gently sway back and forth.
- If you’re a good dancer, he definitely makes Leia give him some lessons to try and impress you.
- The first time you two attend a fancy party (there were a lot of those post-ROTJ when the new republic was slowly forming and mr blew-up-the-death-star and killed-the-emperor was expected to attend), he of course takes you as his plus one, whether you’re together or not. He’s so shy and sweet when he asks if you’ll go with him and even more so later when he asks you to dance, how could you say no?
- He’ll gladly find a little private spot outside for just the two of you if you don’t wanna dance in front of everyone. But if you don’t mind an audience, he’s ecstatic to show you off, especially if you’re all dressed up. He’s not possessive by any means, but is very proud to have you by his side and is definitely the “yeah, you might think I’m cool, but have you met my partner?” type.
- If you’re dancing with someone else, he’ll just watch you like 😍. He’s not the jealous type and completely understands why other people would wanna dance with you. But also he just can’t help himself and when the other person is ready to sit down, he’ll step in and grab your waist before you have a chance to move.
- Bonus if he’s watching: someone standing next to him comments on how pretty/handsome/good looking you are, and he just responds with “they really are, aren’t they?” with the softest look on his face.
- He only dances with people he’s close with/feels comfortable with. You and Leia are really the only ones he’ll do it with, since he views it as something very intimate. If he’s in a situation where refusing would offend someone, he’ll dance with them but you notice he’s much more stiff and formal than he is with you and the dance ends much sooner. If he can tell some seedy politician is drooling over him and he CAN refuse without causing a ruckus, he will and then will turn and ask you instead.
- Loves touching your forehead to his while you dance. Sometimes sneaks a lil kiss in.
- Melts if there’s no music, so you start humming or singing instead. He loves the sound of your voice and could listen to it all day. Sometimes he’ll start humming with you, but he’s tone deaf af (inherited from anakin) and sometimes is so off-key, you both start laughing.
- Loves when you nuzzle into him while dancing and will do it back to you while pulling you tight against his chest.
- Just laughs when you step on his toes.
- When you’re done dancing, he’ll pull you into a tight hug, murmur a soft “thank you, sweetheart/starflower/[insert whatever term of endearment you want],” and leave a little kiss on your temple.
- If marriage/a wedding is your thing, he’s so excited to do the first dance with you and tries to hide his little sniffle and watery eyes. Once everyone leaves at the end of the night, he’ll pull you to the middle of the dance floor to have another one.
- Will literally do this with you till the day you die, even when he’s old and gray and his joints don’t sway as well as they used to.
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writing-now-andthen · 2 years ago
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Oh my god I honestly forgot about how much I love heathers! Could I request some headcannons with JD and a reader who has trouble sleeping at night? Like the reader can’t sleep unless they’re with JD? Idk if that makes since, the only thing I can think abt is him claiming through ur window at some unholy hour of the night and seeing you awake and is just like “??? Why are you awake??? It’s 3am??”
Thank you so much!! I love your headcannons! ♥️
Thank you so much <3
Love to see requests :)
Also warning for jds toxicity
JD With A Reader That Can't Sleep Without Him
You've been having trouble sleeping
You've been sleeping so little that often when you two were just cuddling you would pass out on top of him because it was one of the only times you could manage to fall asleep
He notices how tired you've been
Honestly I don't see JD as outwardly expressing his concern for you very much
He still hopes you know he cares about your well-being
His instinct is to go with whatever the most extreme option is but there's no one he can kill to help you be well rested
Likes the way you melt into his arms when you fall asleep on him
When he breaks into your room at three in the morning he's asking why you're still awake
You're asking him why he's breaking into your room
He says he's just checking in on you but he probably just wants to go through your shit honestly
Do you have anything you don't want him finding? Maybe hide it
He climbs in bed with you
Now dear reader I'm going to give you two options
You a) fall asleep soundly in his arms, without telling him he helps you sleep and hope he comes by more often
Or b) you tell him how you can't really sleep without him
And he'll come over every night to lay with you
But if you get in a fight
Or he gets jealous
Or he just wants some more control
Then he's not coming over
Absolutely is using this against you
There is also him being fiercely protective of your rest
As in if he thinks someone was upsetting you and it's been keeping you up
He'll fix it
I hope you don't take issue with his solution it'd be rather counterproductive if you were kept up thinking about what he did for you
Also some "wouldn't you sleep better if they were gone?"
He will probably end up researching insomnia as much as he can
He want to know if he can do something to help
He wants to know if he could somehow use what he knows for better or worse
You're always welcome to come over and just pass out on his bed
Masterlist
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itsuji · 2 years ago
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I just want you to know the Grace section of the New years post made me happy, huge comfort character.
Can I request Grace, Eva and Kai with a reader that has insomnia and feels better when they cuddle them? (I hope that makes sense lol) they can be just headcanons or little drabbles, I’m not picky. ^^
— “cant sleep?”
a/n: i’m glad that it did make you happy!! Not a lot of people write for grace and I am a fellow grace simp myself!!
characters: Grace Madison, Eva Tsunaka, Kai Monteago
genre: fluff, headcannons
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Grace Madison, Ultimate Golfer
woman doesnt give a shit until you start moving randomly in bed
“can you stop moving?” She says putting a hand on her face, “grace I have insomnia.” you reply blankly.
she decides to flirt you to sleeps and she rolls over to your side of your bed and cuddles you, “guess I’ll just have to stop you from moving myself.
You wake up next morning in her hold, turns out grace surprisingly isn’t an early bird, ( she normally sleeps past 12 unless she has a game. )
When you finally manage to get out of her hold, you do your normal routine, waiting for grace to wake up.
she looks like an angel when she sleeps but if you tell her that you wont survive.
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Eva Tsunaka, Ultimate Liar
surprisingly, Eva also has insomnia herself, so you two find ways to cope.
her favorite way is cuddling, usually she is top spoon.
one night you fell asleep first while tugging on her shirt 🥺🥺🥺
usually she wakes up first at 9-10am and after she puts her clothes on she wakes you up too!!
side headcannon: when her glasses are worn, she buys two pairs of glasses, one for you and one for her, surprisingly likes matching things.
holy shit am I falling inlove with eva rn?
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Kai Monteago, Ultimate Influencer
this little son of a bitch doesnt care at all for 2 days.
and then he got insomnia by searching up rizz tutorials at 3am
he hugs you, and compliments you accidentally compliments himself in the process I mean, what did you really expect from him.
He wakes up before you, at 8am, ( he has an alarm. ) to film morning routine tutorials. after that, he wakes you up to go shopping.
usually when shopping some random preteen girl walks up to him an says I love you!!
he looks at you hoping you’d get jealous but you just roll your eyes, pretty much expected already.
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- 🌹itsuji
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ao3feed-narlie · 4 months ago
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Insomniacs
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fa9YZed by Polkadotkat Nick POV. What if I woke Charlie up....Charlie has work tomorrow and he's sleeping so well right now. He'd be a zombie all day tomorrow if I woke him up at---yeesh---3am. Even though I know a wank would probably do the trick, my hard-ons are Charlie's. That was in our vows (the private ones). But waking him up would be so selfish of me. He needs his rest for work tomorrow. Is it stress or our boys who keep Nick and Charlie from sleeping? Or, the one in which Nick and Charlie Nelson-Spring experience the stress of the first three days as home-owners in their new house. Words: 6422, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson & Charles "Charlie" Spring Additional Tags: My First Fanfic, My First Smut, My First AO3 Post, I don't know how to tag anything despite always reading the tags, Aged-Up Character(s), married, Homeowners, Hand Jobs, Taking Edusmut to a new level maybe?, labelmaker, Moving, Smut, Fluff, Banter, why are we like this?, Can you tell I have multiple degrees in education?, I can't believe the internet let me post this to my account, Insomnia, anxious nick nelson, anxious charlie spring, moving is stressful, would not recommend moving unless you must, tell me in the comments if you're like me and read all the tags even if they don't make any sense read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fa9YZed
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will-you-pick-me · 6 months ago
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midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?
i just saw the ask game omg! curious about this one :] <- certainly not because it is 3am
midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?
Mikey would never admit to any of that - he's got a reputation to uphold, don't go making him look bad in front of his crew, tiger!!
But on nights that are a little too still and silent, no trains coming through the tracks at the nearby crossroads and no street traffic to make background noise, when you've wandered a little too far out of his unconscious cuddles because it's too warm in that stuffy apartment and the box fan is broken again... You might hear a faint whimper or two, see a twitchy fist form in his sleep, and something about "dad, no... stop it...".
He never answers your questions when you try to ask about it, though. He just looks away, a haunted look in his eyes and a strained smile on his lips as he tells you not to worry about it.
Ulrich has a touch of insomnia, though it's hard to tell if it's natural or self-induced - he'll often take late nights in his office, doing paperwork he doesn't trust his staff to handle even if he really should, with a cup of coffee keeping him company.
By the time you manage to drag him into bed, he's too exhausted to dream. He's as quiet as a corpse, and just as still... Well, right up until his alarm goes off at 6am, at least.
Zachnaphael technically doesn't need to sleep, seeing as they're an angel - but they'll indulge in nighttime cuddles, if you insist, and will be right there with you if you can't sleep, offering gentle backrubs, cozy blankets, and of course chamomile tea to try and help lull you back into dreamland.
When they're not spending the night with you, though, they'll often read books that Jessica has recommended to them, or take a trip down memory lane looking at relics of their old lives.
Jessica is the night-iest of night-owls, and very often loses track of time when working on her sewing projects - she's got a whole medicine cabinet of migraine medicine and caffeine pills for when she accidentally pulls an all-nighter, and finds herself blinking blearily at the rising sun as she finishes up a corset or dress.
She's relatively easy to coax into bed at a reasonable hour, though - a simple puppy-eyes and pout combo while clinging to her arm will have her glancing about for a clock, and then looking chagrined at herself when she sees how late it is. Give her some nice cuddles so she doesn't feel too guilty, won't you?
Jack is probably the worst when it comes to nightmares - whimpers, yips, twitches, running-in-sleep, the whole shebang. If you've ever seen an actual dog having a bad dream, it's a lot like that. Sometimes, the poor guy will even scare himself awake - jolting upright, a half-yelp half-scream dying in his throat as he opens his eyes and sees it was just a dream.
You may have to comfort him, if you're spending the night with him - odds are high that he's latching himself onto you and not letting go until he stops shaking and muttering something about how he's "never going back there again". It's ok - just gently pet his floppy little dog ears and tell him you're here and not leaving, and he'll start to perk back up again eventually.
Narrator is another one who doesn't need to sleep, but unlike Zach, he'll sometimes choose to anyways - it's rare for him to dream, but he finds that he quite likes the rare dreams where he's finally able to hold you and cup your cheek in his hand.
It's a lot less rare for him to have a nightmare, though.
So much of his life revolves around you, and because of your mortality, that means a lot of anxiety for him - what if you get majorly sick, and he can do nothing but watch you decline? What if you get a serious injury, and he has to simply watch it happen? What if, what if, what if-
It's no wonder, really, when sometimes he takes a break from sleeping for weeks at a time. He'll just settle for watching over the real you, even if he can't cup your cheek from here, or run his fingers through your hair.
... It was a pipe-dream, anyways.
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norcalbruja · 8 months ago
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So in an elaboration of the “I help people in the way they ask” subject, Tony told me a little while back, “look, I started out human. And if someone asks me for help with a problem, I help WITH THAT PROBLEM. I don’t just do the ‘inner-guidance bullshit,’ forget to actually give you some real-life help, and then wonder why you’re still miserable three years later.”
Of course, his desire to help me out also gets a little mixed up with... being Tony Stark.
--
So a couple days before my birthday, Tony said, “So, honey, what kind of birthday present do you want for turning 34?”, and given his talks earlier, he clearly meant an actual “birthday present” and not spiritual hijinxs.
And I spent way too many years getting well-intended questions like that from the spirits and never really getting anything physical/meatspace related, but given his earlier talks and how he got me a free laptop repair, I was like “Uhhhhhh, Tony??? can you get me something that improves my life… legally… so I can either quit my job or get my own place soon???” Honestly I don’t care if that sounds like I’m dealing with the Fair Folk, but he asked. 😭
And given Iron Man's track record, I do not want to stumble on someone's gun stash or something. Hard no on weapons or drugs, Tony.
--
Meanwhile, some superheroes definitely need to watch themselves around actual gods.
On the night of March 20, or the morning of March 21, because my insomnia doesn’t care if it’s my birthday and I’m trying to get to sleep BEFORE 3am, this motherfucker Tony just blasted into the meditation in full Iron Man gear going “BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!! COME ON!!!”
And the Water-Spirit was like "Tony, calm down. She doesn't expect you to give her a present right at dawn."
Tony was like, "Well, what are you gonna do about it, Inkstains? You're whipped."
So Hera went, "Tony, I know this is a strange concept to you, but SHE IS TRYING TO SLEEP!"
Tony went, "You have no power over me, Hera, you can't just TELL me to leave!", so she turned More Goddess (in the way that makes it hurt when mortals behold a Greek god's true(r) form) and then she just bitch-slapped him across the spiritual room. 😬
This facet of Hera clearly likes her Iliad portrayal.
Yeah, so Tony was feeling that when he finally got back up. I think he would have been concussed at bare minimum if he was Flesh-And-Blood, and he went, "Owwww. Ohhhhh my god. Well, goddess. Okay, I'll leave you all to your sleepover."
--
It seems Tony's fed up with my particular lack of meatspace progress. As I've mentioned before on my blog, the spirits I've met can "smell the pain/rage" on me (not helping since I don't know where most of the Tagalog gods are), and here's Tony going, "WELL OF COURSE SHE'S MISERABLE. She asks for the same shit all the time and nothing changed. Have any of you fuckers tried getting her a house or an art career???"
He gets along nicely with Dionysus, who is also fed up with my lack of progress--Dionysus refers to a lot of my spiritual stuff as "people keep giving you self-help shit instead of REAL help."
Tony gives me some serious class-traitor vibes, because he says I'm basically him without the money or the super-suit, and there's a lot more folks like me stuck in retail or other survival jobs than there are rich folks with ACTUAL talent like him.
As Stephen Jay Gould says, "I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops."
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