#it'll be easier for me to make sounds all together so i can send it to my friend to put her voice on top

[sibelin]

okay so i may have ordered a sampler/drum machine......

[gotham-daydreams]

Hi hi! Anon that can easily stay stuck in their imagination here-

I'm so glad you answered my ask!! And yeah in a situation like not [] where they will try very hard to not physically hurt the reader a case where they will is more difficult. Honestly it depends on the person's will.

Most people can't take torture nor can that take having their independence taken away.

And while the reader in not [] is very much more angry than numb to them at the end of part 3, I feel it takes a lot to be broken.

Personally spite would keep me from giving in. I don't have a lot to ask for but basic decency and admittance of guilt but the batfam is too prideful and selfish to ever do such a thing.

And I live with pain all the time so being in more pain isn't ideal but it's not something I couldn't handle. In the case were my limbs are taken they only thing they can't take from me is my mind

I mean they could always try other methods, drugs and surgeries (lobotomy is such a horrifying concept fr) and such but honestly doing that would be completely destroying what once was.

The batfam is mostly selfish to the point where they are obsessed with the IDEA of reader not who they actually are. A part of me would hope that in destroying who reader was they would feel remorse and do what's right but the other part of me doubts that.

It would take a lot for them to actually feel to do what's right and at that point what's right is taking reader out back for a final send off.

But in such a case where the mind is gone then you really have nothing but a shattered vase. You can try putting it back together but you'll never succeed. A broken vase is much easier to fix than a shattered one after all.

Overall I have enough spite and mostly enough pain tolerance to stick through my decision of staying with my head in the clouds

In all honestly the human body can only last so long when the person in the body has no will to exist. You can feed it and bathe it, take care of that bag of flesh made to carry your bones and organs with all the right ingredients, but the brain knows when the metaphorical heart isn't in it and will only last so long, no amount of reviving can fix that sadly

It's why I wouldn't mind being kidnapped if they would actually take the steps to put their pride and selfish nature away. Yeah staying trapped in the manor sucks but continuing on with the forgive and forget attitude is a surefire way to get one to despise your guts.

I'm so glad you have returned for a bit!! I apologize for rambling in your ask box I am a certified yapper and hopefully all my yapping doesn't sound as scatterbrained as it does in my head-

Stay safe!! Don't forget to hydrate! I hope you have a lovely day or night

YES!!! YOU GET IT!! HAHA!

Also don't even worry about it, I love all of these long submissions and such and they are such a joy to read!!! I hope you have an amazing day/afternoon/night as well, and again, don't even worry! I'm a certified yapper too LMAO

But seriously you so get it and I love you for that anon! The family is so fixated on the idea of the reader moreso than them as an actual person. They, ultimately, care more about feeding their own delusions and ideas of what could be - and they do that through the reader. Misery loves company, after all, and what I was also basically trying to get at with the previous post which is, well-

They'll grasp at straws. They'll tear away at everything, and destroy whatever they 'have to', and anything that gets in the way if it means getting what they want. No matter how broken it is, they'll keep replacing parts- and even if it'll never be the same, even if you will never be the same, as long as you look the same, and physically are the same person... well, they'll keep that. They'll take what they can get, and they'll make sure of that above all else - even if it means essentially losing you in the process.

If anything, I also feel like my other previous posts I've made today support that- LMAO

That they'll absolutely destroy you, only to physically keep you around, and whereas they'll all have their own methods of treating you and keeping you around - as I do doubt that all of them will be so selfish and self centered to not even try to apologize or work things out in a semi civil manner - its still ultimately harmful regardless. Though, that's mainly because of their borderline obsession with progress.

Specifically, for the Not [ ] Series (and I hope this'll show in Chapter 4 as it is sort of why things go down the way they do), why things have ultimately turned this way and why they get so messy so quickly is because of that obsession of progress. Obviously, they want to be with the reader and be the totally happy family that they never were - but they're biggest problem is that they're impatient. They're impatient and the reader... well, they basically aren't giving the family any avenues to make progress-

WHICH IS OKAY!! It's perfectly fine to want space and time just... away from others, especially if they are the ones that hurt you so deeply and greatly affected their life. Especially when, like the reader, the family made them suffer alone and by themself for years. They were essentially isolated and kept away from everyone except for Alfred, and no one encouraged them. No one was there for them at all, and as they express and say in Chapter 3 - they feel like their efforts were in vain. Everything was all for not, and it's okay to want to be away from that, even if the family technically didn't do anything, because it was ultimately their inaction that caused this in the first place.

The reader just needs space because, until a few months ago, they were around and stuck in a place where they felt unneeded, unwanted, and just... alone. They want more of that space so that they can clear their head and finally focus on what they want to do in their life, because now they're actually getting a chance to actually live their life and they love it! So the prospect of going back.. of being in the mansion again? Of going back to that horrible, isolating life? They can't do it. Especially when they can't bring themself to believe that the family's intentions are genuine. Especially when they just don't want to 'risk' things going back to how they were, because god damn it- they just started living their life!! And it's like the family is trying to take that away again.

Nevertheless, the family will still try to do what they can to get what they want, and if Chapter 4 will show anything, is that when given no room... they'll make it. They'll rip and tear, and most importantly, they'll take.

I feel like the end of Chapter 4, and subsequently- the beginning of Chapter 5 (if i write it how i think I will when i get to that point) will definitely spawn all the spite and dread someone will need for a lifetime, believe me! And honestly I have all hopes for people like you being able to withstand the torment that will come from most of the family. Though, I will also say that, or course, that is most of them.

Push comes to shove, hell, at least Alfred will have you with how reasonable he'll seem - with him definitely beinf the most guilty when it comes to making others out to be worse than they are, and acting as your savior. Both literally and figuratively as he will comfort you and, as usual, act as a voice of reason with some much added sass thrown in there.

I also feel like Bruce, despite his own pride, would also sit down and talk it out - and I won't go into much detail here as it will be shown in Chapter 4, but let's just say he'll try. He may not be very successful as he is a man of few words at his core, but I'll say that he won't be one of the people impulsively tearing off any limbs, that's for sure!

Barbara is in a similar boat as she'll try to reason and talk things out, but she isn't one of the family members 'living' with you, so...

Aaand I won't go too indepth with the others as I feel this post in long enough- though just note as well that Selina would try to be another voice of reason (and also manipulation), and so would Duke - who would try to also hold people back from doing anything 'rash' (since, if anyone is going to not only seem reasonable, but also feel genuine, it would be him. hands down. and sure, maybe it'd be Dick... if the whole argument didn't happen LMAO) if they were in the series, which... I'll definitely try to include them going forward as they are apart of the Batfam- I just didn't have a means to include them into the series, and now that it's lowley wrapping up... well, I think it's just best to include them elsewhere!

Nevertheless, thanks for sending this in! I really enjoyed reading it, along with the first one you sent in as well! I love long submissions so much (though any submission/ask makes me happy as hell), and, again, this was really fun!! I always love a good excuse to yap too, as you can tell...

Regardless, again, have an amazing day/afternoon/night, anon!!! You get it fr 💛💛💛

And if I misread or misunderstood anything... feel free to correct me! I read pretty fast and tend to skip over words and such by accident, which is... hilarious considering things, but yeah! I'm sorry if I misunderstood anything, but regardless, again, this has been fun and I love you 💛

[scenetocause]

would like to hear your thoughts on what girl!oscar would think of Lando in a club wearing an australia hat 😳

ha well. fic unde the cut

The first thing she notices isn't what Logan's messaging her about. Which she finds out when "omg I fucking hate those sunnies" gets an eyeroll emoji and a long typing response.

Surely you haven't got him so whipped you don't even notice when he's switching nationalities for you yet?

And no, yeah, she does. Notice it. It's not like Valtteri or whatever, becoming an honourary bogan. Lando couldn't pass for Aussie to save his fucking life, he's possibly never (at least as far as Oscar can tell) experienced "chilling out" and throwing a shrimp on the proverbial barbie would have him shrieking.

But Lando's started deliberately checking on Australian sports. He clearly has no idea what most of them are but makes an effort to natter to her about them, when they're wasting time in their driver room and both in danger of getting antsy before whatever media drivel they're scheduled into.

He's a lot smarter than people give him credit for, generally but especially when it comes to something he's concentrating on. Lando knows more about Australian politics than she does, now. Has views about wildlife conservation Oscar tries to keep up with, endorse the wildfire prevention and recovery fund the Quadrant outback drop donated to.

He even googled foods from Melbourne and discovered pigs in blankets is something they're both easily into eating a secret box of, smuggled from Tesco to the weird little flat they sometimes stay in in Woking

Think that's for Keegan not me dude

This time Logan takes no time at all to send back lmao and as if followed by never change Oscar.

She just sends back I really do hate those sunglasses, they make him look like Alonso before we were born. Lando's style is his own business but Oscar reserves the right to take the piss out of it when he deserves it. And only abuse the media team's access to Getty Images a bit when he wears something really hot into the paddock.

"Wow, harsh," the man in question declares, reading over Oscar's shoulder. "I think they're quite cool."

"You think clubbing is cool." She rolls onto her back, lets him snuggle down on top of her. They probably ought to get dressed soon, for the jet back from Ibiza. If they're late they might get sent to fucking Marseille again and as wank as it is having complaints about private jets, Oscar's not keen to repeat that.

Making a woman wait 10 hours for her post-win fuck is inhumane, no matter the mode of transport.

"Yeah." Lando sounds oddly melancholy about it, makes her tighten her arms around him and leave a space for him to carry on his sentence.

It's a few long beats before he does. "Prefer just hanging out with you, though."

They've talked about this, that they're becoming a bit insular. Don't spend as much time with their other friends, doing their separate hobbies, as they used to. It's rare Oscar wakes up without someone who loves her, understands her instantly, in the same bed.

It's not a bad thing. Or at least, it shouldn't be. People on TikTok make out like they're never apart and body language freaks on YouTube say they're tired of each other but they're not. The more time they spend together, the easier it is. The harder it is to imagine how they exist apart.

Just as well, really, if they're getting married. Makes her bundle Lando up against her, like even imagining what separating them would be like is a thought crime she needs to protect him against.

It's pretty sweet, being Oscar Piastri, this time.

"I don't want to take the plug out," Lando mumbles into her armpit. "Do you think it'll set off the scanner things?"

Probably not. Silicon isn't metallic and they're not likely to cavity search him.

"Won't you be all," she tries to gesture what he's like when he's wriggling. "On the plane."

Lando thinks about it for a second, then tucks himself into her, looking dangerously like he's about to fall asleep. "Nope. Not if you cuddle me."

"I'll take it out when we get back to the flat." She has no idea if he'll last that long or get squiggly and end up doing away with it in the tiny bathroom on the jet.

"You can put something bigger in." Lando's hand engulfs hers, where he wraps them together but Oscar can get the jist of what he's asking for. Kisses his hair, to hide how much she's squeezing her thighs together, wet and hot at just the thought.

And maybe a little bit for the engagement ring on his finger, biting hard and solid into the pulse point of Oscar's palm.

[liesmyth]

hi resident jock (pos) on my dash do you have any tips for getting into working out when you are a) depressed b) very out of shape c) very self-conscious about it and d) have very bad adhd that makes it hard to focus on working out for more than 10 min

anon!!! ily sending hugs if you want them. I've absolutely been there because my focus and motivations are flighty as hell, and it's aways hard (for me) to get back into exercise after an off period and finding everything harder than it used to be.

some ways to trick your brain into doing the thing

give yourself permission to suck. for a given value of “sucking” — I say this as someone who often doesn't do things because of crippling perfectionism. Tell yourself that it's fine to leave your workout unfinished or to modify it halfway into something easier. Think of it as a recon mission. You're finding your current baseline. It doesn't have to be impressive! you're a work in progress

make a step by step plan with bonus points. maybe the plan is just to get to the gym and fuck around there for five minutes. so it'll look something like: step one put on your shoes. step two find the gym bag. step three actually walk inside. step four, find a mat and stretch. there!!! you're done!! everything else on your list is bonuses

self rewards!! motivation-wise, usually I have an audiobook I really enjoy that I only allow myself to listen while I'm at the gym or on a run, and it works for me, but any other treat / reward system of your choice

In terms of actually doing a workout when you feel out of shape, I think it really helps to frame exercise in your mind as something you can do for your body and your body allows you do. It's amazing — I don't mean to sound cheesy, but it's true. Your body let's you move around and skip and lift stuff. You joints all work together. Instead of going straight to "fatigue" allow me yourself to fuck around a bit just getting in tune with your body and where you're at right now, and think about the things you can do rather than the things you can't. Stretching is very good for this IMO — if you haven't moved for a while, it WILL feel both demanding and beneficial. Bodyweight movements like core bracing and lunges and squats. Walking for a bit at an even pace. Hopefully after the "shock" of consciously working out intentionally for the first time in some time wears off, you'll feel less self conscious about it. Try to think about it less as something that's telling of yourself as a person and more as a collection of movements that your body gets to do

I hope this helps!! lmk how are it goes ❤️

[princess-polls]

This is mostly a very bare bones plot summary mixed with me pretending to be funny.

Alright. Let's talk about Jak.

This is Jak.

This is Daxter. You can ignore Daxter.

Except not really cause they're best friends who should never be separated. Seriously. Don't split them up. Bad things happen otherwise

One night the two decided to ignore the Sage's warning telling them not to go to the spooky island by...

going to the spooky island.

While they're there they get corned by a monster and while fighting it off Daxter falls into a vat of dark eco. Vile stuff that will melt the flesh from your bones then melt your bones as well.

But instead of dying a horrific death Daxter turn into...

this.

He takes it well.

And so that's how Jak's heroic journey begins. Searching for the sage, Gol, who can turn Daxter back to normal. Except it turns out that Gol is the villain who is trying to taint the world completely with dark eco and Daxter ends up sacrificing his chance to change back in order to stop the villains.

Anyways, while the ashes of the Gol are still smoldering they search his lair and find a mysterious item that if you are playing the game for the first time you don't actually get to see because cliffhangers.

But I am talking about the sequels so I'll spoil that what they find is called a "rift gate". After moving the large heavy item from one end of the land, across mountains and volcanic craters and ok they probably just use the teleport gate but my version sounds better to the other side they tinker with it and get sucked into the rift and I should've grabbed more screenshots but I was focusing on Jak.

Jak and Daxter are separated from their friends and end up in Haven City, a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Jak immediately gets captured by the guards and Daxter escapes.

Remember how I said Jak and Daxter shouldn't be split? Well, this is why. Jak spends those two years apart being tortured with dark eco.

He's not the same.

(For those of you unaware, Jak is mute in the first game. This is the very first thing you ever hear Jak say.)

And then it gets worse.

But don't worry, the power of friendship wins and Jak snaps out of it before anything bad can happen. But friends are together again and they can escape the prison.

See the old man trying to mug Jak? See the kid behind him? The kid is important, the old man is not. In fact, punch the old man, it'll make everything a lot easier.

Anyways, why is the kid important?

Because he is literally the only person in the city who likes Jak from the very beginning and that makes him the smartest person in the city.

Just kidding. It's actually because he's the lost heir of Haven City and Jak must help him regain his rightful place.

Just kidding again. The kid is actually Jak from the past. Except they're in the future.

Basically the kid will be sent to the past where he'll grow up as Jak and then Jak and Daxter and their friends will go to the future so Jak can do all the actual work in defeating the bad guys. Like the old man who was trying to mug him earlier (see I told you to punch him).

So Jak sends himself off to the past so he can become the gun-toting badass he'll be in the future. After giving him some life advice.

Anyways, in the third game the city proves that the majority is made up of ungrateful jerks who proceed to

strand Jak and Daxter and Pecker out in the desert wastelands. Jerks.

But they get rescued by Damas. King of Spargus. Also a wretched hive of scum and villainy. But this one is made up of all the people who got thrown out of the first one.

Anyways there's a lot not in screenshots but Jak proves himself in the arena and just in general and Damas takes a liking to the kid. Treats him like the son he would've had if he hadn't lost his son years ago. Even gives him the armor he had been saving for his son.

So, plot happens and I was never very good at 2 or 3 cause I can't shoot the broadside of a barn so I'm leaving a lot out but

Damas lies dying in Jak's arms, asking one thing of him. Find his son. And he hands Jak something to help identify him. An amulet

One that is completely identical to the one the kid from 2 was wearing.

That's right Damas was Jak's father the whole time and they never knew. And, unfortunately, he dies before Jak can tell him the truth.

I won't say what happened to the guy who kidnapped Jak as a boy in the first place cause that's a whole other thing to get into but it's assumed he got eaten.

So, yeah, that's Jak's story. Small town boy who finds out that he's royalty. And a time traveler. But the third game ends with him deciding not to rule, instead wanting to go on more adventures.

It also ends with him cheating on his girlfriend. But it's the writer's fault cause they wrote her out. But don't worry, they get back together in the racing game.

!!!

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM THE BOURNE TRILOGY *  assorted dialogue from identity, supremacy, and ultimatum

who has a safety deposit box full of money and six passports and a gun?

nobody does the right thing.

you haven't slept for a long time.

why don't you sit down.

perhaps we can arrange a meet.

we've been through this.

you really don't remember, do you?

that sounds ominous. let me check my schedule.

what were my words? what did i say?

you move, you die.

thanks for the ride.

welcome to the program.

nothing in those files makes their sacrifice worthwhile.

i don't want to do this anymore.

they found a body.

i'm sitting in my office.

my argument is not with you.

we got a bump coming up.

what happened?

look, what's going on? why are these people after me?

i hear you're still looking for me.

everything i found out, i wanna forget.

i told you to come alone.

someone started all this, and i'm going to find them.

why would you doubt that?

who's your source?

tell me who i am.

i want to know what's going on.

i was hoping you had some time for me.

if there's something you're not telling me, i want it now.

i don't think that's a decision you can make.

you're u.s. government property.

i said leave me alone.

do you have any idea who you're dealing with?

what basis are you continuing this operation on?

i told them i believed you.

why are you helping me?

have you locked down the area?

you don't know the circumstances.

i wanted to thank you.

we got what we needed.

please don't hurt me.

we clear on that?

you start down this path, where does it end?

i can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking.

i see the exit sign, too.

i remember. i remember everything.

backup will be arriving in approximately one hour.

did something go wrong?

what is this, a joke? some kind of scam?

you're the only person i know.

do you have ID?

if we stay here, we die.

i know how you're feeling.

off the record. you know how it is.

no more red tape.

i don't suppose it would do me much good to cry for help?

i send you because you don't exist.

you know i can't tell you that.

we're professionals. when an operation goes bad, we tie it off.

where are you gonna go?

you just asked for it?

this is where it started for me. this is where it ends.

everything you need is in there.

actually, i don't think they give a shit.

get some rest. you look tired.

these people will kill you if they have to.

good thinking.

so now you're going to kill me?

do you copy?

all right, we have to move.

you would probably just forget about me if i stayed here.

you can come up.

why don't you come in with me?

do you even know why you're supposed to kill me?

now why would i know that?

i'm sorry to hear that.

why didn't you take the shot?

it was a kill squad.

you know how real the danger is.

we can do that any time we want.

i come in here, and the first thing i'm doing is i'm catching the sightlines and looking for an exit.

how did that happen?

do something about it.

i send you to be invisible.

you're in a big puddle of shit, and you don't have the shoes for it.

i'm not worried.

who am i?

you couldn't make this stuff up.

you're a total goddamned catastrophe.

i can go check it out.

i'm not sorry.

i mean, you were shot.

i don't send you to kill.

how could i forget about you?

this isn't what i signed up for.

you talk about this stuff like you read it in a book.

i'm on my own side now.

i have the files.

it's not a mistake.

i'm just trying to do the right thing.

what are you after?

why did you pick me?

they knew you were there.

what the hell are you talking about?

we don't have a choice.

it gets easier.

it'll be better if we do this together.

they'll kill you for giving me this.

by god, if it kills me, you're going to tell me how this happened.

look at this. look at what they make you give.

people do all kinds of weird and amazing stuff when they're scared.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

a good example of incompatible coping mechanisms-

My older sisters will not stop telling me how much they miss our mom. Who is dead. And has been dead for over a year.

and i am so incredibly tired

"I can't believe she's gone" my second eldest sister tells me, again, "I feel weaker without her. She gave me such strength. Send me a picture of her grave and tell her I miss her."

Thank you for making it my problem. Thank you for reminding me she's gone. Thank you for assuming I'll be your grief councilor. Thank you for adding yet another thing I have to do, when you KNOW I already have trouble just making food for myself once a day.

Thank you for accepting that I respect how you express your grief, without ever once, apparently, realizing I Don't Like Talking About Mom Being Dead.

Because, as I've TOLD YOU BEFORE, every moment of every day I'm reminded of her. I live in her house. I am trying to fill the gap in this family she left behind- I held all three of you dramatic people together when you guys (my older siblings) (older than me by TEN years, by FIFTEEN years) decided that it couldn't possibly be grief that was making you all act tense and techy, no, it must be that you three were never really sisters at all and blah blah blah, I told you that's fine, I said that's okay, I was the one playing TELEPHONE with you three for MONTHS. I was the one spending three to five hours individually listening to you guys sob and doing mental jenga trying to figure out how to talk you off your latest metaphorical cliff's edge.

I have never. ONCE. Initiated a talk about mom being dead.

I am trying. And you all KNOW it because I've TOLD you. I'm trying to figure out. How to live alone. For the First. Time. In. My. Life.

WHILE BEING UNEMPLYED AND UNEMPLOYABLE

WHILE MAKING SURE MY NEPHEW HAS SOMEWHERE SAFE HE CAN HANG OUT WITHOUT PEOPLE CONSTANTLY SNAPPING AT HIM FOR THE NORMAL EVERYDAY THINGS HE DOES TO GET HIMSELF THROUGH THE DAY- LIKE CHANTING RANDOM WORDS, OR YELPING, OR RUNNING AROUND FOR A BIT- HARMLESS THINGS YOU ALL JUST CANNOT BE CHILL ABOUT APPARENTLY

oh but you are in pain. yes. you want to talk about how you saw mom in a dream last night. how the night before that it was a nightmare. how you feel like you'll never be whole again now mom's gone

Well shit I'm sorry I'm not mom.

I'm sorry you're all hurting so much and don't want to (can't admit) that this is a grief OUR mom lived through too. This is a pain MOST kids will face.

It is not the end of the world, even if it feels like it.

Even if it's happening to YOU.

And you know what? Expressing emotion is good! But thoughts are like muscles- the more you think them, the easier it is to fall into the pattern of thinking them.

That's why, when I talk about mom, I talk about her life.

I talk about happy moments, funny moments. Moments that were shared.

Because I don't JUST want to be sad when I remember her. There's the thing Jewish people say about their dead- My their memory be a blessing. I want mom to be a blessing for me. Even if she can't talk to me anymore. When I think of her, I know it'll hurt- always- but I want it to be followed by a smile. SHE would have wanted me to smile.

And I've told all that to you guys, too.

But. It doesn't feel like you listen.

I was twenty-eight when my mom died. I caught her when the thing went wrong in her head, I got her to the couch, I sang to her over the phone as she died, I kept my voice calm and bright, and told her it's okay, I talked to her as if she could still hear me just in case she could, you guys said "she can't hear you" and I said "That's fine. It doesn't hurt" i tried to make sure she wasn't alone, from hundreds of miles away, while the rest of you sat together with her and talked over like she was already gone. And probably she was. But would it have hurt to make SURE? Did I sound silly, talking to her like that? Why on earth would that matter?

The only person I'd ever lived with. The only person I could talk to without worrying she'd get angry at me. Without worrying she'd dismiss me because I haven't dated, haven't had a job, haven't traveled much.

The only person I could be myself around. And she's gone. And it does indeed SUCK.

My sisters aren't wrong for wanting to talk about their pain to someone who understands.

They just, don't understand that I'm, not the one they should keep talking to.

Not like this.

I'll go and take the picture of the grave. I won't say anything to the grave though.

The other problem is they all have decided to be spiritual about this, they've decided mom's spirit is something they can feel, they've decided that's the default, the obvious, and I'm

Mom is dead.

She lives on in all the people who ever met her. In a million countless ways she was part of this world. But I can't get spiritual about it. And. I don't want to.

It was enough that she lived. I don't need more.

I wish I had an older sister who'd actually meet me where I am in this. Or at least fucking leave me alone. At least listen.

If wishes were horses, though, we'd ride everywhere.

Instead we have to find a way to walk.

Anyway.

Don't use your family members as therapists, folks. It can lead to them having to call a crisis line just to get through the week. Maybe you should cut out the middle man and do that yourself, next time.

just a thought

[illicien]

“Nobody asked about my writing” meme

Ohhh thank you so much for the tag @amethyst-noir! Having read these questions already I can tell this is going to become a pain in the ass to answer, bless you and thank you for the suffering.

 1: what are you currently working on? 

Far too many things. My writing tab currently has open:

One-Time Thing (third part in progress, but I have all of the parts in the same doc)

HS / Mafia AU Outline (when this starts becoming a thing more effectively I hope every single one of you is ready for me to be the most whiny bitch on the timeline; when my wife said "oh that sounds like it'll be 300k" I was like lol I've never written anything that long! But this outline... this fucking outline...)

Captured (inspired by a whump prompt, whether this comes into existence is entirely dependent upon the whims of my muse and they are feeling incredibly tempestuous of late.)

Seeing Double (This remains my comfort fic to sit back in because writing Stephen occasionally manages to help reset my brain when I get stuck.)

WB Hanahaki (I completely blame a combination of @winterbonesthings @six-demon-bag and @bicycleonfire for the fact that this even started to happen.)

To The Victors (This is literally the fic I've had open and been casually poking at now and then since before I even started OTT and whether it will be finished is also dependent upon the whims of my muse.)

And that's all WinterBaron shit I just have that I'm casually flicking through depending on what is best meeting my interests at any given hour of the day.

2: summarize your current project 

Which one? I'm literally gonna randomize 1-6 and find out which project we're summarizing.

Well okay then. Seeing Double it is:

With the sudden splitting of timelines and opening of the multiverse, some of HYDRA's experiments in other worlds have created strange pathways to other worlds; while HYDRA has been mostly dealt with in their active timeline, the elimination of a specific base has left Sam, Bucky, and Zemo faced with an actively Winter Soldiered Bucky Barnes. Not quite sure how to handle their new situation, and mildly unnerved by the fact that this Winter Soldier has decided that obeying Zemo of all people is the best choice, Sam suggests taking him to Doctor Strange - because if anyone's going to be able to figure out sending him back to his own dimension, a sorcerer seems like the best option.

3: summarize your current project poorly 

(Same project? Different project? Different project.)

Zemo's fucking pissed to realize that he's in love with someone again; he'd ignore it, if it wasn't literally killing him.

4: describe your favorite character or characters

Tea sluts.

Oh, did you want a better description? Well you aren't getting one. They're tea sluts. You think they're perfectly put together, incredibly in control, and that's exactly what they like you to think as they casually sip their tea and pretend they're only the most sophisticated of people.

But it takes about two seconds to turn them from sophisticated and in control into whining little bitches. And I love that for them.

5: post a line from your current project without any context 

They'd taken time to collect - the remnants of Ultron scattered in a distinctive display, pieces welded together in a manner both grotesque and hauntingly beautiful.

6: how do you get through writers block?

Skip to a different project for a little bit. Sometimes it's less that I'm blocked in terms of writing, and more that I'm stuck on a specific scene or story, and moving on until I'm stuck on something else makes it easier for me to return to whatever I was initially stuck on.

7: would you want to live in the world of your current work? 

No. Not any of them. No thank you. Especially not anything MCU adjacent. I'll skip on that, thanks.

8: briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline 

My outlining process only really exists for fics that I am well aware / intend to be more than one chapter. For example, there was no real outline for OTT, and it did get away from me because of that, in part. That's why OTT turned into a series rather than just being multichapter.

When I do outline, however, I have a very specific set-up that involves first jotting down several notes from my brainstorming session as I typically bounce the initial concept off of someone. Many bullet points exist. From there, it's a matter of grouping them into relevant areas, and then breaking things down into chapters from that point. I'll occasionally make specific notes about particular dialogue pieces as related to specific bullet points. Before I do a final dive into starting to write pieces, I'll go over chapter bulletpoints again to see if there are any specific things that could use to be arranged elsewhere.

If I write without an outline for a multichapter story, we get chaos like Collared and Embraced which are both currently still sitting unfinished, despite my best efforts.

9: what is the aesthetic of your current project?

Okay so I'm gonna return to To The Victors for this one, even though I mentioned it once already earlier, because of all of them this one has a very visual set up.

Piercing suspension; human food trays; an old castle hall draped with purple silk and velvet; the contrast of highly mechanical chrome bits and pieces against elegant fabrics and stone walls

10: what song sums up your current work the best?

Ooo this is hard, especially since I decided to save this one specifically for the OTT finale...

We'll go with:

Tagging

Sending this one over to @six-demon-bag @winterbonesthings and @winterytrash cuz I'm sure y'all are working on something at least. @bicycleonfire too if you've got anything ongoing you wanna share 😉

[kiwibubbles5]

I hope you don't mind if a Socially Anxious Individual expands some on #3?? :)

Booping is awesome. And all of Tumblr's other interaction buttons range from a little bit to a LOT scarier..

My social anxiety is loads better online vs in person, but it's still there. The prospect of getting to know someone new is still terrifying. (Fair warning, I'm very aware that everything I'm about to discuss worrying about is unrealistic and unreasonable. ✨a n x i e t y✨)

The comment button is scary - I don't know what to say, what if I look stupid or sound mean?

The reblog button is extra scary. I don't like to rb stuff without proper tags for my organization system, and on low energy days, proper tagging can take a lot more effort than you'd think. I also don't want to make anyone feel bad if I rb their post without any comments/compliments/etc in the tags, because what if they come to my blog and see other posts that I have commented on in the tags, and they get sad because they think I didn't deem their art or writing or whatever it is worthy of saying anything about. But, again, figuring out what to say can be really hard and scary.

The like button is scary - likes don't spread the post around or boost it or really do anything, so I really really don't want to press 'like' on anything without reblogging it. So many posts highly encourage reblogging over liking stuff, and for good reason!

But y'all. I have over three hundred and fifty drafts saved right now. Because when I see a post I enjoy - art, writing, even just a relatable or funny thing - if I don't have the energy or time to fight back the social anxiety and reblog it, I save it to tag and post later. I don't leave a like, I don't know how long it'll be till I can get back to posting the reblog. I wanna be a little more social. I want so badly to show people appreciation and give them a lil happiness. But I'm so introverted and anxious.

Boops were a way to connect with somebody without any of the above fears. April 1st was the most active/social I have been on here since... (checks notes) A LONG ASS TIME alright, idk.

A boop says so many things without having to piece together the words to say them. A boop says, "Hi." It says, "We are sharing in this silly little thing together, and that is beautiful." It says "I see you," and "You're a part of this community," and "I care enough about you, random stranger, to send you a cute lil boop or two. To join you in the spirit of something fun." It says "You showed up on my dash! 😄" or "I know that you follow me I appreciate you!" or "Hi moot ily!"

But a boop also feels safe. There's nothing I can phrase wrong or fuck up about a boop. (I mean, I suppose besides spamming someone with too many boops who doesn't want that, but I tried to be super careful to not do that at all, just looked for the posts welcoming spam boops. Oh and I also only sent evil boops to people I knew a bit better, just in case. Okay so clearly even this was not entirely worry-free but it was SO MUCH LESS SCARY.) It just felt so much easier to navigate than all the other, more complex socializing options. Boop. 🐾 Boop back. 🐾 It made me happy to give boops, it made me happy to get return ones. It was. Really fun. (And, to anyone who didn't have a good booping experience - maybe you didn't get lots of boops or return boops - I'm really sorry, I promise I would have booped you if I could. You matter to this community, too 💖🐾💖boop)

The other thing I liked about boops was that they don't necessarily invite nor require any response outside of booping. (And there even comes a point when a booping chain needs to end, so it doesn't feel super anxious to not boop back every single received boop.) A boop could lead to further interaction of some kind, and that's great!! But it doesn't create an automatic expectation of further interaction. I didn't feel pressured to follow people or connect more, or to have a conversation through comments or reblogs/tags - all stuff that I often don't have energy for.

(Fair warning again, no, this level of social anxiety is not healthy, I am trying to work on it guys listen 😅 The boop system certainly isn't a replacement for all the other, deeper ways to connect on Tumblr and I want to get to a point where I'm not so scared someday. But the booping system is really good for low energy days and/or high anxiety levels.)

So, yeah. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but this is why I personally loved the boop buttons and would love for booping to become a permanent function.

((P.S. Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention the ask button. Yeah the ask button is more intimidating and terrifying than any monstrous eldritch entity I could ever come across 😅))

petition for tumblr to make the boop feature permanent. reasons:-

so i can shower my affection on mooties and followers without any limits

validates my sense of appreciation and does not make me feel unwanted

every introverts' dream who loves a blog but is scared to talk with them

feels like an actual physical boop

online love language

[marcusrobertobaq]

If you wanna do threads with people, I suggest your local nursing home. And you talk all this crap about the dbh fandom, but you talk about the game just like the rest of us, sir. You can say you don’t do fandom shit all day, but you quite literally do. You just seem like the more canon centric type of fandom, which is cool accept for those of you who make hating Fanon fandom a personality trait. Don’t have anything else going for you? Don’t you wanna have- idk- POSITIVE interactions? You have great opinions/insights on the game, why not talk shop instead of annoying people?

I already make "threads" with people, usually outside social media as it's easier, but i also go in digital spaces with a low % of people with limitations. Although it's becoming worse each day.

"hating fanon fandom a personality trait"

See how it's impossible not making fun of y'all mfs? I usually respond bullshit with bullshit but i'll answer this question this time - for the BIG TEXT we go (if y'all suckas insist).

Good to know it really became some sorta "image", it's a filter itself. But i usually don't even consider some fanon really dbh - cuz it ain't and no one gonna change my mind about it. Get your og shit together and u gonna have my thumbs up.

At the same time I don't actually hate all fanon, see: Markus being 10yrs old, for example, or even the speculation of Kamski giving Markus to Carl as an "Amanda" or sorts - these are fanon (maybe not that popular but it still is). Fuck, even Ben playing in the same team is all fanon. Some other major speculations that are obviously myths but still kicking around, sometimes they're fanon. Me trynna explain, fix some issues in the game or expanding stuff? All headcanons - mostly. Sometimes i dig stuff and find it was intended in a very similar way, my luck day.

I do my biz and talk with who wanna talk to me about it. I see something productive about the game - the game universe, not its shitty fandom that can't even care about the content itself just cuz the writer sucks -, i'll comment on it if i wanna add things. U wanna drag me into this shit u call it whatever u like that's gonna be on ya, not me. I don't consider myself part of it and i bet lotta people agree with me xD

And if u wanna say i'm in the fandom then i got even more rights in calling it crap - the real ones may know what i'm talking about, the ones who doesn't are likely part of the "crap". I don't care bout "positive" or "negative" interactions. Interactions are interactions and i won't play by "fandoms" rule or "what fandoms are supposed to be" - i don't care about this whole thing, i don't care what's valid, i don't care it's to be "fun". I make my own shit and pick what's in the air. It's on my fucking pinned post.

When i'm bored, i'm bored. When i'm serious, i'm serious. When i ain't serious, i ain't serious - and i won't give warnings either. If i feel like just throwing stuff around, i'll just go around throwing stuff. It's just so fucking easy making reed900 or hankcon topic mfs start something for some reason - makes things even more ridiculous to me. Image? Fuck, i'm at a point i really can't give a flying fuck how mfs see me, this is the internet and i ain't a famous mf.

I'll shit on shippers or discussions about it. I've been on this one myself when i got here more than a year ago. Waste of time, repetitive discourses, same bullshit all the fucking time, it'll be what it ever was and i ain't got the patience with what i don't consider worthy of my patience or seriousness. Feel free to be the same, unless u wanna be a good-goddie about community and shit, i don't care. It's your call, not mine. Wanna drop age and maturity card? That's your shit too, i don't fucking care and all i gonna hear is a broken record sound.

Don't ask me to respect mfs, i won't respect what i don't wanna respect but don't worry i won't send the FBI to arrest y'all guys like it's a crime neither gonna go naked on the streets with signs or any shit like this, even tho know y'all mfs would love it just to say "huhauehuaheuahue guess who got all mad and triggered hruashruehruah" but i'll have to disappoint your and your friends ass.

So i gonna ask again: do i need to fucking draw? Or wanna give me more reasons to joke on u bitches? Cuz really, it's really difficult not being a sarcastic prick on purpose the way y'all sound.

[mind-coffee]

WHAT CAN TECHNOLOGY NEVER REPLACE?

I guess in this ever advancing world of technology we live in the only things that it can't replace (and this sounds cliche) is human interaction. We can text all day, FaceTime, email, everything, but with all of that, we are missing the human interaction. We are missing the face to face moments.

Can you actually build a real, and solid foundation for a relationship if you never spend actual time together? Not shoot one another a 'what are you doing?' text. Behind a computer screen, we can be bold. We can ask the hard questions, we can fake confidence. Why? I think it's because we have time to come up with a response. We can ignore the questions, we can reflect on what we say, or how we respond because being put on the spot over text is much different than being put on the spot in person. In person, we don't have the time to walk away from the question, or think of something to say. We don't have time to second guess what we would say. And honestly the more that we communicate over text, the harder in person conversations become. I mean, you ask me something over text, I have time to triple check, re-read, and edit my answers before sending it to you. In person we have to come up with an answer quickly. We don't have time to embellish, or edit in our heads, and honestly you probably get a more honest response that way. In person.

I guess the whole purpose of this question is what do we actually miss out on. We miss out on the important things. We miss out on the moments that make us, well, us. We miss the real connections, the shared laughs, the support from another person while we break down and cry. We miss out on the realness of the world. And if we're not careful, it'll ruin us.

Dig Deeper:

How has technology affected your relationships?

Well this one is a doozy. Like I said earlier, over text we are much more bold. We don't have the immediate consequence. We aren't as afraid of being shut down. And unfortunately that makes cheating so much easier. You don't have to approach anyone in person anymore. You can be sneaky, you can hide it, and it's not all that hard to do. Speaking from experience, people can delete messages, but it's so accessible. The immediate gratification of getting the attention from someone else. We take for granted the real people in our lives, for the idea of some fantasy that doesn't usually ever come true. We ruin our own lives for what? For someone else? Because what? It's easier?

All in all, technology give you more opportunities to cheat or to find someone else to give you the attention you crave. You can post a sexy picture, or send our a risky text and it's not hard to do. It's rather easy actually. And that's what makes it so scary.

What technologies have had the most powerful impact on the world?

Well this one is pretty easy (for me anyways). I think the most impactful technology in this world is medicine. And maybe that's cheating. Maybe it's not considered technology, but I think it is. The things we can do in the medical world is amazing. We can help people in so many different ways that we could in the past. In the past they had to bury family members because of a simple infection, or because they got the chicken pox. Now those things seem so easy to fix, but it wasn't always that way. Technology is amazing, and it's even more amazing that we have been able to use it to save lives. It's going to keep changing, and we are going to continue to save lives and that is when I think we use technology for good.

How can ensure that technology is only used for good?

Okay honestly didn't know this was the next questions, but it's funny that it's how I left off the last question. But I don't think medicine is the only way technology can be useful. When used correctly, technology can keep us in touch with family, with friends that we would otherwise drift apart from. It allows us to maintain relationships. We can share our lives with people (not that that's always a great thing), but we can archive our lives in pictures. We can create a place where our memories remain forever. Where they don't ever fade. Hell anymore you can seek out help, mentally using technology you can find someone to talk to when you don't have the energy to get out of bed. You're never alone. Not really. You can always find someone to be there for you. Whether that be a friend, or a paid professional. We have immediate access to the help/support we need in the moment.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Hey! Why (Defenestratte) here. Remembered you're keen on the John Oliver bits of the Horne Section TV Show, so wanted to send you this: https://www.chortle.co.uk/interviews/2022/10/24/51964/i%E2%80%99m_definitely_a_lot_odder_in_the_show_than_i_am_in_real_life

It's an interview with Alex Horne and does have a sneak peek on Mr Oliver's involvement in the show. Hope this is useful/fun for your interests!

Well shit. I am very interested in the mystery of why John Oliver is doing this show, and I have to love any mystery where every bit of information that shines light on the situation brings up more questions than answers. For example:

How did that work with John Oliver on the laptop calling in?

We had to be really clever with that, I had a day with him over Zoom and we had to record everything. We had to go through every script and lots of costume changes, we had to improvise quite a bit and then we had to fit round his bits in the room.

So, we had to pretend he was there, someone had to press play, that was really odd, but it worked. Hopefully I think when you’re watching it you presume that he’s actually there but he’s a man that doesn’t have much free time. He also nailed everything first time. We’re all so used to people being on Zoom now and you don’t really bat an eyelid, I think.

The main question this brings up is what is he going to be on the show? Before seeing this article, I assumed they'd come up with some reason for a fictionalized John Oliver to talk to the characters in the show over video chat, and that would be his role. Which I still think must be the case, because I'm not sure the alternative is technologically possible. This paragraph seems to suggest that the actor John Oliver filmed his parts over video call, but the character John Oliver will be physically in the room with them, like CGI. Which, as I said, I don't think can actually be done. But then why would the other actors have to pretend he's there? I guess what this means is just that it's hard to talk a screen that'll be playing pre-recorded footage, and pretend you're having a live conversation with the person on it. But it's worded in a way that implies they're all in front of green screens, pretending a tennis ball on a stick is John Oliver.

So that's an entirely new question for me, though it's one that will be answered as soon as the show starts on November 3rd. For the mystery I was wondering about before, of why he's there, this article offers: "It was quite a long process and I think now we’ve done it hopefully it’ll be easier in future, but we’ve got Big Zuu, Dr Ranj Singh, John Oliver who is in every episode and he’s enormous in America, he’s won a million Emmys! So that’s odd, he said yes straight away."

Thank you, Alex, that tells me nothing and leaves me more baffled than before. I am beginning to suspect that John Oliver agreed to do this just because he found my Tumblr blog, learned that someone has decided to become an historian on everything about his career that ties him to Britain, saw this person trying to put all the pieces together and find connections that make sense in an overall picture, and decided to fuck with me by doing the most inexplicable thing possible, that clashes with everything about his previous relationship with British media of any kind. That's my current working theory.

Anyway, thank you for the link, @defenestratte! I'd not seen this before, and I appreciate the baffling information. Really looking forward to November 3rd now, to see what this is about. Oh, and for anyone who wants to read the article without copy-pasting the URL, here's a link. It does contain a bunch of non-John-Oliver-related information about what the show is like, and to be honest some of it makes it sound less like the sort of thing I'll enjoy than the Guardian article from last week did. This article has a bit more focus on how it'll be a live music/variety show, which doesn't hugely appeal to me. I'm hoping the show will be more 30 Rock than TGS, you know? More Flight of the Conchords sitcom than just a filmed Flight of the Conchords gig. I mean I'd love to see a Flight of the Conchords concert, but I don't think that alone would make a good TV show.

Either way, I'm sure I'll enjoy the sitcom elements, and I do find Horne Section songs funny, and to be honest even if every other moment of it were shit I would still watch all six episodes just for the John Oliver mystery. Which I guess is the exact intention behind the move of attaching really famous guests to projects like this, and in this case it will 100% worked on me.

[skampi835]

Let’s never speak of this again! (Motonari x reader)

Let’s celebrate Motonari’s upcoming route with an oneshot! 🥳 Since I hopefully avoided most of the spoilers I didn’t come up with any good idea, but then I found this:

you and your enemy hug each other, it's completely accidental, and neither of you know why it happened, and it's like,,, you glare at each other, with an expression of ''let's never speak of this again'´

Thanks for putting this idea in my mind @screnwriter​!

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Language: english

Starring: Motonari x reader (female)

Genre: Comedy

Warning: besides Motonari’s slanguage surprisingly none... ahaha who am I kidding? It's Motonari 😂

real Warnings: angst, bad language, violence (fighting scene!)

Word Count: 1.810

“Get her!”

Shoot! How do I always end in situations like this?!

With this thought you’re bolting straight into the next alleyway. You’ve left the busy trading streets of Azuchi a long time ago and unfortunately lost track of your current position due the rising panic inside of you. Honestly, you’ve no idea where the heck you are right now! Though obviously still in Azuchi you’re running hopefully into the right direction towards the fuller marketplace!

Desperate, you’re squeezing your way through a very small gap between two buildings and dash on. Maybe your pursuers can’t follow you through this and it'll buy you some extra time! The shouts from traders and the sounds of frisky chatters are getting louder with every step you’re taking, which means you have to be on the right track!

Determined you’re keeping up the fast pace, praying you’re able to shake off your pursuers completely in the crowds of the busy market, as you round the next corner. But all of a sudden you’re awfully crashing into a wall.

“Woah!”

“Uff--!”

The heavy impact is stealing your air, though obviously not only from you, but also from said wall, which in the hustle and bustle you’re literally falling into his arms eagerly not to fall. Together you’re even staggering sideways for a split second. Stressed and tense you’re spinning your head up with surprise, staring into the startled, wide ruby red eyes of the man. "Wah-…?"

“… You?!”

You didn't even realize how tight you were clutching Motonari when you crashed into him, until he’s violently yanking your arms away. "The hell yer doing? Got a bloody death wish?" He hisses and is glaring at you furiously.

As shocked as Motonari's reaction was, so are you aghast to face him right now. "What, of all people, are you doing here?!" You snap, still completely out of breath.

Quick steps are pulling you back to the current situation you are still in. You were supposed to keep running from your pursuers but simultaneously you’re facing an enemy of the Oda forces. Your situation is definetly growing somewhat hopeless. Nevertheless the sight of Motonari’s anger makes it a lot easier for your decision, to pass him and run away, than to stand rooted on the spot.

Unfortunately Motonari suddenly grabs your wrist roughly when you've just turned away and is pulling you back. "Ack-…! Let me go!" you plead.

"I won't do shit," Motonari growls venomously. "Now that yer recognized me, princess, I’ve gotta improvise something."

The hectic steps from the side street are getting louder with every passing moment, before they’re coming to a sudden stop right next to you. “There’s this witch!” One of the pursuers is shouting. He’s considerably tall with broad shoulders and a massive body. Shortly afterwards another two coarse figures appears behind him. They’re building themselves up with stern grimaces in the narrow alleyway.

Your eyes anxiously widen and your body starts to tremble ever so slightly. But there is no running away again for you, for Motonari’s adamant grip is chaining you.

"Huh, didn't even know yer know so many grim-looking acquaintances, princess." Motonari’s saying coolly, scanning the three men with his steely gaze. Still he doesn't loosen his grip on your wrist instead he’s tightening it.

"I haven't!" You snort, trying to yank your hand free to get away from him - without avail. You don’t know if it's better, getting caught by Motonari or these guys. But you know for shure both scenarios are pretty bad.

"Hey, you there! Plat-head!” One of the scoundrels growls and is glaring at Motonari grimly, whose dryly raising an eyebrow at this denomination. "Give us the little girl. We have business with her."

“That stupid hussy broke my nose!” Another of them shouts indignantly. You’re noticing his swollen red nose and you can't suppress a brief, yet inappropriate, flash of pride in your face.

It was just a few minutes ago, when they stalked you after you’ve exited your favorite shop. Unfortunately this shop is located in the outskirts of the village so there weren’t many people when they confronted you. The guys wanted to ‘talk to you nicely’ and after a few seconds you’ve ‘nicely declined'. Thank goodness you know some techniques of self-defense!

However, even more inappropriate is Motonari's spiteful laughter that he’s suddenly uttering. It’s giving you the creeps! "Seriously?" With a quick sideways glance in your direction with his ruby red orbs, he’s grinning at the fellow with extreme smug. "Tell me, how’d she did it, putz? Did she climb onto yer?"

Good gracious! Wouldn’t you please make him madder than he already is? Pretty please?!

"What did you just call me?" The broad shouldered man’s roaring furiously. Shortening the distance to Motonari, he’s threateningly waving with his massive fist.

Without wanting to, you’re quickly seeking cover behind Motonari, who has finally let go of your wrist. Now with his hands free he’s facing the attacker. With quick reflexes Motonari’s skillfully dodging the scoundrel's punch and draws his sword with a metal 'shink' that’s humming in the air. You’re holding your breath when Motonari’s holding the blade right against the throat of the ruffian, who is instantly not moving a muscle anymore. "Are you out of yer damn mind? You fucking want to take me on unarmed?!"

Motonari’s sounding incredibly unimpressed, for it was him against three rapscallions, but also incredibly pissed. No matter how this will end, you're sure you won't be of any use. So you’re looking around for an escape route. But you are cornered. The only side you could rush to is a dead end.

"The lil’ one’s mine, get it? So piss off, aye? ” Motonari’s growling with a frown and kicks the man roughly in his side. Gruntling the man hits the ground hard.

"You sunova-!" Furiously about the defeat of his crony, another ruffian - not quite as stupid as his predecessor - is trying his luck with a rusty dagger, when he’s running towards Motonari. But after a few seconds it lands on the ground, followed by the guy.

The last of the crew charges in, just to earn a brutal smack with the back of Motonari’s sword in the side of his neck. "Tch! How the hell did ya morons think yer can take me on when a lil’ girly beat you up? Ya wanna make me really mad?”

You’re recognizing the change in the air around Motonari. It’s tense, shifting from the beginning amusement to bloodlust. Motonari’s wielding his sword, but apparently used it just to disarm his opponent. But now it seems that he won’t restrain himself any longer.

"Crap, let's get out of here!" The guy with the lost dagger is yelling towards his pals. Frantically they’re getting up and quickly disappear into the alleys.

You sigh, relieved as the men finally disappear. But just one moment later your heart’s sinking completely into your boots when Motonari turns back to you, though this time with a sword in his hand. "Back to ya, princess."

“I haven't seen or heard anything!” You shout, throwing your arms up in air and backing from him. Now pressed against a real wall on the side of the house, your heart is pounding up to your throat, when you meet Motonari’s sharp gaze. Luckily the bloodlust you’ve seen before has gone, too.

Motonari’s raising an eyebrow, probably irritated by your strange reaction and is fixing you. Then the corner of his mouth curves up to an amusing smirk while he’s withdrawing his sword back to his belt. “Heh, ain’t that a start?” He snickers.

Abruptly he shortens the distance to you, placing one of his white gloved hands right next to your head against the wall behind you. Superior and smugly, Motonari’s looking straight into your eyes, straight into you. The tension’s getting tangible again and your heart’s pounding hard in your chest. "You owe me. I bet you saw nothing, understood?"

Something you least of all wanted, is to owe to some madman like Motunari! His stern expression is sending a shiver through your spine. "I- ... uhm ... thank you?"

"What should I do with yer thanks? Can’t buy anything with ‘em.” Motonari snarls dissatisfied and is slightly narrowing his eyes. "Either you damn shut yer mouth about everything ya saw - hell, just forget I’m even here! Or I'll cut out yer pretty tongue. Ain’t that a deal?"

Automatically you’re pressing your lips together sealing your mouth - and especially your tongue. You’re staring at him in horror with wide eyes. "Let's never talk about this again, aye?"

What joice do you have? Of course you could just agree with Motonari and then tell the warlords about his whereabouts. But you’ve always been a woman which sticks to her word, no matter how bitter this one is. Not entirely sure whether he'll still carry out his threat to cut off your tongue, you're just nodding, while glancing determined up to him.

"Splendid." Motonari’s pushing himself off the wall with a mask of satisfaction on his face, giving you the way free. "Then rush back to yer patrons, ‘lil princess.”

Uncertain you’re blinking towards him. Motonari makes no move to stop you, he’s just waving with his hand in your direction. He really leaves you with just that! Without further thinking, you’re taking to your heels and bolt away. Not that he'll change his mind after all!

After two more alleys, you’re finally reaching the busy and crowded market and try to calm your panicked pounding heart. That was definitely too much excitement for one day! Still, you're grateful for Motonari getting those ruffians off your back. But why does it haf to be Motonari of all people?!

A deal is a deal, you’re thinking to yourself taking one last, deep, nessecary breath. Certainly it won’t mean anything good that Motonari’s currently in Azuchi. You just hope, you won’t regret this deal someday.

With quick steps you’re heading purposefully back to the castle. Even if this idiot surely won’t appreciate it, your silence about that accident was certain to him.

And you are going to take to grave, that you’ve embraced Motonari by that accident, when running into him. Yes, better never even think about this again!

_____

Motonari’s running his white gloved fingers through his hair and grunts in annoyance, after you left. That you’ve recognized him is a great nuisance to him. It’s time to rethink his plans. That would slow things down a lot.

As if he’d actually trust a little princess like you to keep her mouth shut. What stupidity!

Casually he drives his hands on his sides to get rid of the strange feeling from your delicate arms embracing him.

Let's never talk about this again. - Yeah, better let's not.

[youngerdrgrey]

screw it (when in doubt...) // a wildmoore fic, 2/2

summary: Post 2x16 (“Rebirth”), as the search for Kate goes cold, Ryan goes home with Sophie to regroup. Sophie seeks a different sort of comfort than Ryan is prepared to offer. + read part two on ao3, or back to part one

🦇

Before Sophie’s fully back to herself, Ryan rushes for the bathroom. She tries not to think about the pad of her feet on the floor, or the ease in Sophie’s body. Washes away the evidence and prays that she can forget how good it felt to have Sophie’s lips on hers. This was never supposed to be this complicated. She was never supposed to be in this situation.

It was easier before when Sophie was Crowphie, and Kate was still —

Ryan stops herself from finishing the thought. But a sob rips out of her that she can’t stop. Then another. And Ryan has to grip the sink to keep from doubling over. She shouldn’t have done this. She’s already going to lose the loft and the suit. Now she’s going to have to watch Sophie and Kate get back together when she knows what it’s like to be with Sophie. She’s going to lose everything and say what? 

‘Thanks for letting me borrow your life for a bit. Always wanted a sister. Mary’s a great one. Don’t be an asshole this time.’

Ryan can’t stop crying. The pressure’s hot in her ears as she tries to control her breathing. She loses track of time after a while. Listens to the water and prays that Sophie will be asleep by the time that she pulls herself together. They don’t have to talk about it. Sophie can see Kate tomorrow, and they can all pretend this never happened.

Then, just barely over the water, Ryan hears it.

“Ryan?” Sophie’s voice from the other room.

Ryan rushes to lock the door. Scrambles back past the sink and into Sophie’s bathtub. It’s cold and solid there. It’s safe.

Sophie knocks. “Ryan, hey.” She tries the door. “Are you okay? Say something, please.”

But ‘please’ makes Ryan’s throat contract. Sophie can’t see her like this. She’ll never live it down. She can’t. Her eyes jump to the bathroom window, but it’s too small to climb out of. Shit.

Ryan calls out, “One second,” and Sophie tries the handle again.

Ryan swipes under her eyes, but it only makes her cry harder. Fuck. What’s she supposed to say? ‘Sorry, I’m crying in your bathroom. I’m not crying ‘cause I fucked you. I’m crying ‘cause I want to do it again? ‘Cause I should’ve never done it in the first place?’

Sophie knocks again. “Ryan, are you crying?”

Sophie sinks down next to the door, and Ryan can see the shadow of her body under the door frame. 

“Ryan, please, talk to me.” The water’s still running. Sophie has to speak up. “Was that — should we not have…?”

They shouldn’t. They shouldn’t have done this. Ryan shouldn’t have said yes. Shouldn’t have kissed back, or ground against her, or touched —

“Did you — did I… make you do something—“

“No!” Ryan all but screams at the door. She wanted to. She doesn't know when she started wanting to, or when it got so strong, or when it'll stop feeling like a mistake, but it's not a mistake. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like, Ryan? Tell me.”

Will Sophie tell Kate about this? Will she tell Mary, or Luke? Ryan really can’t be kicked out of the group for this. She can’t. The thought sends a fresh wave of panic through her. Mary’s gonna hate this. Mary loves Kate and Sophie together. Loves the thought of having another sister who will treat her right and protect her.

Sophie sighs. It doesn’t sound angry. Just… frustrated? Tired? Ryan’s head hurts just trying to figure it out. Why couldn’t Sophie have stayed on the couch? Who checks on someone this quickly?

“Fine,” Sophie says. “Don’t tell me. We can just sit here until you’re ready.”Ryan would rather die. Sophie chuckles. “Never been on this side of things. Not that I’ve been on the other side much. I….” A little sigh. “When Tyler… when he proposed, I hid in the bathroom. It was a much smaller one than the one you’re in now. Oh, there are some candles under the sink, if you want to light one. Make it real cozy in there.”

Ryan rolls her eyes. She doesn’t want it to get more cozy.

Sophie can’t see her though. “Aren’t you going to ask why I hid?” Because she’s a lesbian. “Not because I’m a lesbian, but because we hadn’t even lived together that long. It was too fast. All of this. Tonight. It was…. I get it, okay? You weren’t ready, and I really wanted to be. But you get that, right? Between me and Kate, you and Angelique. You get wanting to forget, right?”

So she’ll want to forget this too.

That’s what she means. She wants to chalk it up to friends being friends. To trying and failing to feel better.

“Forgetting is what got us into this,” Ryan says.

But Sophie chuckles on her side of the door. “Not… not completely. This….” She takes a deep breath. “This wasn’t just about Kate. I mean…. I should’ve said something weeks ago. When I quit the Crows; or when I told you that I deleted your file; when you gave me that cheesy ass smile at The Hold Up, before the fear toxin heist. God, I don't know, when Jordan first suggested it. It feels like everything’s changing again. I didn’t want things to change without at least trying. And when you want to — if you want to — maybe we can try again?"

Ryan doesn’t have words yet. Not for that lengthy admission. For the knowledge that Sophie’s wanted this and thought they couldn’t, or shouldn’t, go there until now.

With all that said, Sophie asks, “Do you want me to go?”

Ryan doesn’t know what to say. She’s just gotten the ability to breathe, and she didn’t bring the toilet paper roll in here. Amateur mistake. She can’t reach the roll from the tub. She could blow her nose on her shirt. Wouldn’t matter. Sophie's already seen her at her worst. And dying. Two totally different moments.

There’s a soft rustle as Sophie stands up, and a fresh surge of panic spikes in Ryan.

“Don’t.” Sophie’s shadow stops moving. Ryan repeats herself. Louder, still a little shaky but certain. “Don’t go.”

Sophie sits back down. “I won’t.”

Ryan would ask her to prove it, but the slight bump of Sophie’s head resting on the door says it all.

🦇

🦇

end notes: this has been affectionately referred to as the 'Ryan cries in a bathtub' part for a while now. what'd you think?

as always, I'd suggest subscribing to me on AO3 to get emails when fics go live. (yes, I am still working on I know you, but I do not know when the next chapter will feel ready. in the meantime, I do have some other fun stuff for y'all.)

[neoloves]

— 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧.

| 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 | The second part to 'Oikawa, Tsukishima and Akaashi comparing you to their ex'

Part 1 can be found here ♡

| 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji and Tsukishima Kei

| 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬) | swearing

| 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝.𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 1.6k

| 𝐚𝐭𝐡.𝐭𝐱𝐭 | I'm not even gonna front, I wanted to do the part 2 angsty, but I didn't 🧍🏻‍♀️ happy endings for everyone! ✨ damn why this so long for

(also I just realized 'how to say sorry' by middle school is the perfect song to listen to when reading this 👁️👁️)

「 Oikawa 」

Oikawa slaps himself one more time, his vision was getting blurry, his eyes searching for one person, that one person that's put up with all his bullshit and loved him thoroughly. "Fucking hell Oikawa, can you focus a little bit more?!" Iwaizumi yells at him, they lost the first set, all because Oikawa couldn't find you at the bleachers.

"Oh I'd love to, but you see Y/N-" Iwaizumi cuts him off, "Y/N didn't come today because she's still hurt you ass! Now get your head back into the game," Iwaizumi sends him one last glare. Oikawa scoffs, you were his lucky charm, whenever you were there to watch his games he was more motivated to win but without you, it's almost like it's not worth it.

Even after all of the things Oikawa said, you couldn't help but watch his games, it felt like a routine for you. The game finished with Aoba Johsai winning, the gap wasn't big but they won and that's all that matters. You quickly made your way out of the gym but someone's hand stopped you from doing so, looking up you see Iwaizumi. He was the one that ran after you instead of your boyfriend, he helped you calm down during that time, "Y/N can we.. talk?" He asked.

Looking around, you didn't see Oikawa anywhere so you agreed. Walking just outside the gym, there he stood, the moonlight was shining down on him so beautifully, fuck. "Y/N, please have a listen to what he says, he's been a wreck these days.." Iwaizumi says, offering you a gentle smile before leaving you two. "So.. what did you want to talk about? That you wanted to break up? That you found someone that's way better than me? Someon-"

"No! No one is better than you! No one can ever replace you y/n, so please listen to me. The shit I said before was because I wasn't thinking straight, it was never you, I just- I just thought that you might see the real me, pathetic little athlete and leave one day, I didn't want that to happen.. I'm sorry," Oikawa said, his chest heaving up and down, his pretty hazel eyes had tears flowing down his cheeks.

You couldn't watch Oikawa cry, all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and tell him that it was alright. Instead you approached him slowly, taking his hands into yours, "I forgive you Oikawa, but it'll take time for me to put in trust in you," You said, giving him the slightest smile. "T-That's do-able, I'll wait until you're ready again, and I promise to not break your heart again," And he plans to keep that promise.

「 Akaashi 」

Akaashi tells himself that he'll be a better boyfriend, he'll make it up to you. But why can't he send you a single text? Maybe call? No, he wants to apologize in person, the longer he drags this fight out the more he realizes how much of a wreck he really is without you. He starts to ask himself, 'What would y/n do?' or 'Have they eaten yet?'

The last time he's seen you was at the hallways, he's always seeked you out but you always avoided him, the calm and composed Akaashi Keiji, going crazy over you. "How do I even make her listen to me Bokuto? She won't even spare me a glance.." he muttered, Bokuto felt pity for his friend, 'Maybe this is how y/n felt when I ignored her,' he told himself.

"Just walk straight up to her, say that you want to talk and apologize, don't make excuses, say that you're sorry, wholeheartedly," Bokuto says, smiling at him. "Easier said than done," Akaashi sighs, it's the first time he's ever dealt with something like this, but for you, he'll keep trying

He found the perfect opportunity to face you when the teacher had asked Akaashi to help you with some subjects you were failing, you've skipped school for a week prior to the argument. It's been hard to catch up with all the work, so Akaashi was sent to lend you a hand. You were more than surprised when Akaashi comes up to your door step, "Uh.." You said, slamming the door onto his face, but he was quickly to catch it, leaving the door slightly opened.

"Y/N I was sent here by the teacher to help you with school.. and to apologize," He said, hesitantly, opening the door once again. You let Akaashi in, you couldn't tell but Akaashi was nervous as hell, all the words he's rehearsed were forgotten the moment he saw you. He curses himself for hurting you, "Sorry, you were forced to come here to help me," You said, keeping your gaze on the floor. "No, I should be the one apologizing,"

"It was unfair of me, ignoring you and then lashing out like that. I don't know why I did that, but I want to apologize, I never wanted to hurt you, some boyfriend I am," He said, his mind replaying the scene over and over, he can't forget the hurt look on your face. "I'm supposed to protect you, not hurt you, so.. you can decide if you still want me or not, I'll respect your decision," He said, "I– You know I still love you so much Akaashi, of course I want you back, but please, give me time.." You said, your heart feeling way lighter.

"Of course Y/N, I'll give you all the time you need, I'll be waiting," Akaashi smiles, he can wait for a lifetime, maybe even forever just to have you back in his arms.

「 Tsukishima 」

Tsukishima can't help but glance at your seat from time to time, it was empty, it's been empty for a week now. You weren't the type to skip school, but he guesses you have an excuse to not come anymore. How would Tsukishima let you know that he didn't mean all the shit he said? How would he let you know that it's always been you?

Even Yamaguchi started to make up excuses about not being able to hang out, Tsukishima fully knows that Yamaguchi would meet up with you, but he doesn't why. He guesses that it's to console you, but it's making him feel bad. Having his friend comfort you instead of him, but he can't really say much as he's the cause of this. So he'll endure it until he can't anymore, jealousy is an ugly emotion and he knows that fully well.

He's been seeing you and Yamaguchi together more often, sure it tugs at his heartstrings but what the fuck can he do? He's a coward that runs away from emotion and bottles them up until it comes around to bite his ass. That's exactly why that argument between you two happened in the first place, he's been dealing with personal issues with college and his life that he ended up bursting it out on you.

"Nothing I do is ever good enough, fuck," He curses, as he misses another ball. "Are you alright Tsukishima? You're usually not this distracted," His teammate asked, "It's nothing, just tired, let's get back to practice," He replied, not wanting to answer anymore questions. His teammate seemed to have gotten the message and left him alone, "How about we go eat out tonight? My treat," Their captain suggested, "Sorry but I think–" Tsukishima was going to decline but the captain insisted.

So now he was getting dragged to a barbecue house, what Tsukishima wasn't expecting was to see you and Yamaguchi at the same restaurant as he was in. He couldn't turn away, you looked so much happier with Yamaguchi, would it be right to let you go? Should he keep fighting? You sensed someone staring at you for a while now, but when Yamaguchi leaned towards you to whisper, "Tsukishima's here, what do you want to do?"

"Nothing, I'll be perfectly fine," You said, minutes had passed but you've grown more and more uncomfortable with the amount of staring Tsukishima's done. This is so strange even for you, Yamaguchi sensed your uncomfortability and suggested that he walks you home. "Sure, I need to get back home anyway," you answered, Tsukishima was sure as hell that he's not gonna get another chance to talk to you unless he does it now, so he takes it.

"Tsuki?" Yamaguchi said, "Can we talk Y/N.. in private?" He asked, trying not to sound as desperate as possible, you stayed quiet for a couple of seconds but ultimately deciding to hear him out. You two step out of the restaurant, the streetlight flickering above you two. The atmosphere was tense, a little bit awkward, your gaze bounced all over the place, from his trimmed bangs, to his brown long coat, then back to his eyes.

"I'll keep it short, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was inconsiderate of your feelings and how I didn't think about my words before spewing them out. I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't enough, cause you were more than enough, and I feel like I should've shown you how much I appreciated you more.. but I couldn't, and I.. I'm sorry," He finished, his eyes unwavering, that was the Tsukishima you knew. His jaw was clenched, most likely to stop himself from crying.

You felt the sincerity from his words, that was more than what you wanted. "Thank you Tsukishima, I accept your apology, but.." Tsukishima was hooked on your words. "I'd like to be treated out for food so that I can see that you're really sorry," You said, obviously joking, but half not really. Tsukishima lets out a small chuckle, there was the y/n he knew. "Of course, pick any place and I'll pick you up tomorrow," Tsukishima said, starting tonight, he'll work hard to be the man you deserve.

[luvlyrv]

Our Songs | Extra | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: So happy to say this series is completely finished now!! Enjoy!! I'm moving onto more projects and hopefully can wrap up some one shots I've been working on. This is a different style from what I usually do since it is an extra, warning that the post looks really long because it's in bulleted style lol

Date: 9/1/21

Series Masterlist

after your confession with wendy you were stuck with an enormous burst of energy

you were on cloud nine, a seemingly never-ending high

you decided not to text wendy the day right after

you didn't want her to think you regretted anything but you also didn't want to seem too clingy

also it didn't help that just thinking about her was enough to throw you into cardiac arrest

you didn't receive any notifications from wendy either

it was a bit disappointing, but you assumed she was also trying to take in the shock of it all

trying to take your mind off of wendy you spend an entire day running around your house

you pick up your instruments and have the jam of your life

emotional highs are very good for your creativity it seems

you decide to record some things and save some drafts

who knows if it'll be useful in the future?

you worked till you felt dead tired and like you couldn't have another thought in your brain

even after you spent an entire day trying to exert your nervous and elated energy you were still hesitating on texting wendy when you woke up

but you missed her so much already

so you send a text asking her how she feels

she says she feels okay, and then asks about you

'yeah, i'm okay too'

your conversation was rocky

things weren't going as smooth as before

and it was evident that it was because the both of you had no idea how to behave

you took a deep breath before texting her your question

'so, can i take you on that first date?'

you see a bubble showing that she was texting

and then it disappeared

before showing up again

and disappearing

and- ugh! your heart was racing waiting for her answer

i mean, she liked you back right? so why would she say no?

'yeah, of course! :)'

whew, okay, looked like you almost made a big deal out of nothing

little did you know wendy was freaking out

she was a bit embarrassed at herself, acting as if she was a high school kid in love or something

it took wayyy too much concentration for her to type out something sensible

but she was excited for you to finally ask

you were also excited for her to say yes

your first date is at the downtown center

there was a festival and you were hoping to enjoy all the effort the artisans put into their work with wendy

you're walking with her through the numerous stalls set up

as the both of you admire the beautiful crafts set on display your hand reaches for hers

you feel the pressure of her hand squeezing back and you look at her

she looks at you and giggles

you didn't even realize what you were doing

'oh, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do that suddenly.' you freak out and let go of her hand

you're worried that she was laughing at you and that she didn't want to hold hands

'it's okay! i thought it was cute'

she reaches out for you and you don't let go this time

instead you enjoy how happy she seems to be sharing this moment with you

and out in public too

later on you both go to the square where there were musicians

the sun was beginning to set, allowing for beautiful lighting and you appreciated songs you've never listened to before

wendy tugs at your arm while still staring at the performers

'i hope we can perform up there someday. together.'

you smile at her as she still looks on

'i think we will.' you assure her

finally night hits and you both call it a day

you walk her to her car and stop her

you kiss her forehead

'so, will there be a second?' you ask with a smile

you feel like you already know the answer

'i think that sounds great.'

life with wendy in it became easy

you guys seldom fought

and even when you did at least one of you would make something for the other

dropping it off at the doorstep and leaving an apology note

and after enough time of cooling down you would always come back to each other, talking out your problems from before

you personally felt like your work improved as well

wendy had become your muse

you sought to create tracks that would impress her

or that would be worthy of having her voice in it

and you felt like it was easier to write lyrics

because every experience with wendy created new feelings

feelings that you could hardly describe sometimes

when you guys decided to finally start working on your second collaboration you busted out the drafts you created long ago

wendy was impressed after sitting down and listening to your drafts

'woah, how many hidden gems do you have on your computer?'

'well, these ones in particular i made on the same day. the day after i confessed to you.'

you're both flustered

because it's easy to tell the kind of state you were in by the songs

wendy takes your hand and kisses it gently as your music continued to play

'you must think of me pretty highly, if the thought of me compelled you to make something so incredible'

you heat up at her cheesiness

'oh stop it.'

the two of you end up choosing a refreshing feeling/sound for the album

'cause you recharge me every time i see you!' she says

when you guys are almost done producing the album, that was when you went on the dinner date with wendy

the one where you guys would finally confess to the world

after recording and uploading the announcement video the both of you decided to turn off your notifications and avoid reading people's reactions

instead you guys opted to spend the rest of the day baking and then watching a movie together

the both of you decided that it would be stressful to engage with your audience right away, and that's why it took a full day for you both to check your phones again

both seulgi and yeri already knew about your relationship but they both flooded you guys with congratulations anyways

they just wanted you to know they were proud of your bravery!

besides them, both of your families already knew and didn't comment much

they'd already stated how they think you're good for each other when you guys had visited together

especially your younger cousin

cause apparently she's a big fan of wendy and is definitely not using you as a way to get close to her idol

and is definitely not bragging about her how cousin is 'super super cool and famous and is dating another famous person and i think they'll be rich someday!!! so get on my nice side!'

you're happy to see that a lot of fans are happy for your relationship

wendy just keeps telling you 'of course they are, who wouldn't for a cute ass couple like us?'

it was at that point that you guys had decided to save up and move into a nice place together

you guys had talked about future plans before

not only that, but you had been practically living together already

between all the dates that lead to seemingly indefinite sleepovers

and the recent collaboration that made you guys be stuck together

it was really you guys living at each other's place weeks at a time

when you guys move in you're grateful

because you get to experience all the little things from her even more

some nights when you're stressed she rubs circles on your back to help you sleep

when you guys shower together she takes her time to carefully wash your hair

it was those deeply intimate moments that made you the happiest

both of your careers were doing really well due to the reception of your second collab and all the media fuss that happened with your dating annoucement

you both still have solo careers and interact with other musicians

but along with moving in, you guys decided to become a duo and consistently create music together

in the morning when you share breakfast you always remind her how good life is and how thankful you are