#it'd just take me like 8 years or so. worth it.

[flufflecat]

working on a project

[euniexenoblade]

Favorite Movies 2024

I do one of these every year, even though I see less and less of the current releases every year. But, I've been doing it on tumblr since 2012, so it's a tradition and everyone else does it so, why not?

There's a lot of movies I haven't gotten to see yet. Like, as far as I can tell Queer isn't available anywhere even though it's one of those movies I'm sure I'd love. Everyone seems to like The Brutalist, but I don't want to watch a bad cam recording. I don't usually see most non-American movies until the next year. Really excited to see that movie Viet and Nam.

That said, some honorable mentions:

Past Lives was a really beautiful film about a family immigrating to the USA from South Korea and how that affects their daughter and her friend's relationship, not to mention her identity. It's 5/5 for me but it's technically 2023 and it feels more fun to highlight the films I chose.

Perfect Days is a Japanese movie about a guy that works for a toilet cleaning company and it's really a beautiful movie. Like the previous mention the only problem is it's from 2023 and I think it'd be fun to highlight the films I chose.

Conclave is fun! Who would have thought picking the pope was exactly like high school cafeteria drama!

I'm sure no one cares for Speak No Evil, considering this one is an American remake. But, personally I had a lot of fun, James McAvoy is hot and honestly the family deserved it for diving a Tesla.

Drive Away Dolls is a really funny gay comedy. It's not good enough to make a "best of" list, but that doesn't mean it's not worth a watch. In that same respect, Bottoms was really funny. But again, not best of the year worthy, and it's from 2023.

Anyways! The list!

10 - Heretic

Heretic is one of those edgy pseudo intellectual movies that thinks it's so much smarter than it actually is. And I love it. Do not go into this expecting a horror movie, expect it to be some dude trolling some Mormon girls. Don't take it seriously and just enjoy the ride. It's funnier than it is scary. When the guy compares the Book of Mormon to Monopoly, or compares Jesus Christ to Jar Jar Binks? Hysterical.

9 - Alien: Romulus

I don't really have anything to add on to the letterboxd review. As a Alien lover, a Xenomorph fucker, and a die hard fan of the series, I really loved the atmosphere in this one. The world building was great. I'm happy we finally got a decent installment, finally.

8 - Challengers

Again, said most of what I need to up there. Challengers is not the movie you expect it to be. Funny as hell, interesting as hell, melodramatic as fuck.

7 - Will & Harper

Will & Harper is a breath of fresh air in today's transphobic climate. I didn't expect Will fucking Ferrel to be the trans ally of the year, but damn, he tried his hardest to keep Harper happy even in the darker moments. Will Ferrell's best movie (lol).

6 - Love Lies Bleeding

This fucking movie is insane. If you want to see a real lesbian crime thriller, this is it y'all. Music is excellent, acting is astounding, and they throw in some fucking curveballs to fuck with you. Underrated cinema.

5 - Monkey Man

Do you need another reason?

An amazing action flick in a similar vein to John Wick. Brutal, violent, but has so much heart. And we get amazing trans representation. This film looked beautiful, I'd argue only one other film had a visual aesthetic nearly as cool as this in 2024 (it'll come up later). Dev Patel wrote, directed, and starred in this, that's insane. He clearly had so much love for this project and it shows through.

4 - Look Back

I don't usually put anime movies on this list, but I don't know if I'll do an anime list this year so it has to be included.

From the creator of Chainsaw Man, we get a beautiful movie about friendship and loss. It's genuinely a beautiful piece of art.

3 - Femme

I'm not adding my letterboxd, it has spoilers in it and I don't want to ruin the ride. Technically a 2023 movie, but it's on John Waters favorite movie list of the year so it fucking counts.

A brutal look at internalized homophobia and the ways we hurt each other in our own communities. I can't recommend it enough, but trigger warnings for homophobia, assault, and abuse. It's really hard to get into the meat and potatoes of this movie without spoiling it. But, it's fucked up and well made.

I loved this movie. It looks so beautiful, the actors inhabit their characters so well it feels like it's all real, a gay horror movie if I've ever seen one.

2 - The People's Joker

Also technically not 2024, but this is the year everyone got to see it. But, The People's Joker is such a triumph of trans DIY bullshit. Making a movie about a trans woman Joker without the permission of DC sounds so stupid, but it comes together as one of the most interesting pieces of art to come out in the 2020s.

My first experience with this movie was unforgettable. I had no idea it existed, but my girlfriend who worked at a movie theater was like "this movie exists let's go see it!" And I was like, ok that's chill. I was hitting the weed vape so hard before going into this and killed me.

Live action, CGI, animation, this movie is a bizarre amalgamation of styles, built as this weird, indie love letter to Batman. Inside this shell of mixed artforms you find a very basic story about a trans woman finding herself and fighting for the respect of the people around her. And beyond that you can find comedy revolving around Batman lore or comedy revolving around inter community bullshit.

Outstanding movie. Would happily watch it 800 more times.

1 - I Saw The TV Glow

It couldn't be anything else.

Similar to previous, my movie theater girlfriend got a huge group of people together to go see this. I had seen trailers but I figured it was going to be a normal horror movie in the style of Candle Cove type shenanigans. I was very, very, very, very high when I saw this. Of the 15 or so people (all trans) that saw this, the majority were crying, a few were shell shocked and just left, and I'm there laughing about Phoebe Bridgers in the middle.

I don't think there's anything I can say about this movie that isn't already super well known. A transgender horror story with the message "it's never too late." As frightening, as sad as it is, it's also just the beginning of the story that'll have a happy end.

It's beautiful. Looks beautiful. Great soundtrack that fits the vibe. One of the best movies ever made, honestly.

[grlsbstshot]

NEON LIGHTS

Pairing (Original Characters):

Jameson Lucas (Aaron Pierre) x Imani St. Cirie (Megan thee Stallion) Genie Adesanya (Jayme Lawson) x Ellington “EJ” Dupree (Kelvin Harrison Jr.)

Chapters:

Neon Lights Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: jameson deals with the consequences of the many disappointments he's given imani over the years. sloane continues to unravel and only Christian realizes. genie and ej take another step in their relationship while imani wonders if she and jameson are worth saving.

Warnings: smut (18+), toxic relationship, emotional breakdown, explicit terminology, dirty talk (kinda), dd/lg (slight), dom/submissive sex scene, p in v, oral (male receiving), biting -- if we missed anything, let us know!

Word Count: 8.4k Divider Template: @cafekitsune

Notes: 

The following characters are original creations. Their voice claims are Usher / Lucky Daye (Jameson) & Summer Walker / SZA (Imani). We have no affiliation to any of those artists.

Jameson stepped out of the elevator, brushing past stilted bodies as he made his way towards the parking garage. He had called Imani six times since leaving Sloane's apartment but there was no response. He scrolled past all the texts, all the notifications, and rejected several other calls. The only person he wanted to talk to was her. He got the voicemail again and the realization that she wanted nothing to do with him set in. He strode to his car, his jaw clenched. By the time he slid into the front seat, he was determined. He'd just go to her house. Even if he had to talk to her through the damn intercom at her front gate, he'd do it.

With a plan in mind, Jameson turned the car on and prepared to leave...but his gaze strayed to the phone in his hand. Common sense told him not to do it but he did. He went back to EJ's text and clicked the link to the music. Even as her voice filtered in through his car speakers, he didn't quite accept that it was her. It'd been so long since he'd heard music from her. Even her voice sounded different.

The untrained ear probably didn't hear it but Jameson did. He heard the anger, the loathing. She used to sing about him with exasperation but always love. Everything they sang about one another held an understanding -- they loved each other. He couldn't hear it anymore. Her lyrics were vivid, each word painting a picture of the love they’d shared and the ways it had fallen apart. He could hear the anger in her tone, the bitterness laced with sadness. The despair mingled with hope. Fuck.

I get this type of feeling you ain't accustomed to I swear I'd be at peace if it weren't for you

He winced the first time he got a shot on the project. They had done it back and forth to one another but she sounded fucking miserable with him. It was like he could pinpoint every single time she touched pen to paper and wrote a lyric that was about their relationship.

I don't care about what you seen in me You were not who you pretend to be I will regret giving my last, man I should've let you crash out Can't believe you blaming me

Every situation flashed right before his eyes. Argument after argument that leads to making up.

Trying to find, you're my blindspot, it's fine niggas Ruin me every single time

The first time they saw each other after a year -- when she made him swear not to make her any promises so she could avoid being disappointed.

You know we got a real history That's no reason I can't choose me You know that dick been good to me You make it hard for me to choose me Dancing and kissing, the kitchen Makes me forget, I forgive him

The morning after they returned from Italy -- when everything seemed to be on an upswing for them.

That pussy hit like royalty Must be hard for you to lose me

The frantic texts and calls that he couldn't stop himself from making. That he didn't want to stop.

Text me like I'm waitin' for you to come lie to me Ruin my day, sayin' shit to hurt me, I can't compete Still on the way, I lay awake if you're not around me I'm so on to you, still gone for you

God, why did she stay with him? Three years together. A year apart. She still gave him the chance to come back even though that was how he made her feel.

You don't wanna be, be without me You don't wanna live I don't wanna go, ooh, no I don't wanna be alone, oh All that I know is mirrors inside me They recognize you, please don't deny me

It was true. He didn't want to live without her. But how was he ever supposed to go back to her with this knot in his gut? How was he supposed to lay next to her at night knowing he drained and twisted her up inside like this? Even without trying? She had every right to hate him and she knew it. In those lyrics, it told their whole story. She wanted to hate him...but couldn't.

He hadn't even realized he was driving until he came to a stop...at his own house. Even his subconscious knew he couldn't face Imani right then. What was he going to say? I'm sorry. I was wrong. I fucked up again. I hurt you again. Look away, forgive me again. It sounded hollow as fuck even in his head. He didn't have the right to ask for any of it.

He hadn’t just hurt her a few times -- he’d broken their relationship in ways he couldn’t even comprehend. She’d poured her pain into this music, and the world was celebrating it, but all he could hear was the sound of her heart-shattering and it was his fault. So he sat there in his punishment, listening over and over. For the first time, he wasn’t thinking about what he’d lost. He was thinking about what he’d taken from her — and how he’d never be able to give it back.

Her entire body felt like it was in shock. She felt numb. The carefully planned dinner she'd prepared for Jameson had spiraled out of control. She didn't even remember breaking dishes but they sat in shattered pieces around her as she leaned against her front door. How could he just leave her? He wasn't supposed to leave! He was supposed to appreciate her and be happy she was there for him. He was supposed to see true loyalty from her. But somehow...it had all fallen apart.

Sloane’s hands trembled as she slowly crawled across the floor, avoiding slivers of shattered plates. By the time she had enough awareness to climb to her feet, she realized she needed her phone. She searched the room, finding it underneath the couch. In the chaos, it had slipped away. It trembled in her hands as she tried to decide who to call.

She was sad. Hurting. Who was she supposed to call? Her parents? They didn't care. Genie? She had tossed that friendship away. Jameson? Her heart clenched at the idea of calling him and going to voicemail. She sat on her couch, holding the phone to her chest before it dawned on her. She wiped her damp palms on her skirt as she called the contact and the phone rang. Her chest felt tighter, her breaths shallow and uneven.

When his voice finally came through the line, her relief was overshadowed by desperation. "C-Come over,” she said quickly, her voice cracking. “I need you here. Please.” She hung up before he could respond, her pulse racing. She sank onto the couch, running her fingers through her hair, tugging at the strands in frustration.

By the time Christian arrived, her makeup was streaked from tears she hadn’t even realized she’d shed. He stepped inside, his usual confident demeanor faltering when he saw her.

“Sloane,” he said softly, shutting the door behind him. “What the fuck happened?”

She stood, her movements frantic, and began pacing again. “He said he's done with me. Jameson — he ended everything. Our friendship, everything. He called me out for all of it—for hurting Genie, for you, for everything I’ve done.”

Christian frowned, his concern evident. “Okay, slow down. Take a breath. What exactly did he say?”

Sloane stopped pacing, turning to face him. “He asked if I fucked you. I told him it was a mistake. He didn't even care that I slept with you. He cared that it hurt Genie. He didn't even care about me." Her voice trailed off, mumbling as she dissolved into tears again. "That I’ve ruined too much, and he can’t trust me anymore. "He looked at me like I was disgusting, Christian. Like I was nothing.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she wrapped her arms around herself.

Christian approached her cautiously, his tone gentle. “I need you to calm down. C'mon, sit down. I'll get you some water." Sloane's movements were jerky and she couldn't get herself to stop shaking. Christian took her arm firmly, guiding her to sit back down. "Don't move."

For once, Sloane didn't argue or ignore him. She sat there and stared at the ceiling, the past few years hitting her hard. When he brought the glass back to her and took a seat next to her, she was in tears again. “I don't know --" she began, shifting her gaze to find his. "I don’t know who I am without him.”

Christian’s jaw tightened, his sympathy battling with his frustration. “You lived a life before Jameson Lucas smiled at you. You'll be fine without him. Just...stop digging yourself deeper."

She pulled away from him, her movements sharp, gaze darting to her phone on the coffee table. “I don’t know. I just… I need him to feel what I’m feeling. To know how much this hurts.”

“Revenge isn’t going to make this better. It’s just going to make things worse for you and for him -- not that I give a fuck about him.” “It’s not revenge. It’s justice." "So you fuck with him some more. You think that'll make him love you?" "I...I don't know how to get him back." "What if you never do. What are you going to do?"

Sloane hesitated and Christian rolled his eyes. “Wake up. No matter what you do -- he won't be yours. But the sun is going to come up tomorrow, Sloane. The world will keep on turning. Life will continue. You will continue."

Fresh tears filled her eyes again and she doubled over, laying on the couch and crying softly to herself. She was alone. She didn't even notice Christian sitting next to her, his fingers awkwardly brushing through her hair as she cried.

EJ snored against her chest as the light from her cell illuminated her bedroom. Genie pressed her hand to his back, rubbing in small circles as she continued to text Imani back. The two hadn't seen each other in person but Genie finally found the words to tell her she wasn't upset about the photo. their friendship immediately shifted back into normalcy -- with the two texting and calling regularly. Despite the massive Jameson-shaped elephant in the room.

After listening to Imani's EP, Genie couldn't help but interfere. Even when she told EJ she wouldn't.

[ genie ] : i loved diary, mani mani ❤️ [ baby mama ❤️ ] : aw my genie. thank you [ genie ] : i promise to smack jamie's neck again when i see him [ baby mama ❤️ ] : lmao, you ain't gotta do that, baby [ genie ] : are you just going to keep avoiding him forever? [ baby mama ❤️ ] : idk, genie. i'm not ready to talk to him yet. [ genie ] : i think you should hear him out, mani. he's really sorry [ baby mama ❤️ ] : 🙄 that's the problem. he's always fuckin sorry. it's sloane today, but next week, it'll be some other shit. [ genie ] : but you love him. you haven't loved anyone the way that you love him. i think you should at least hear him out [ baby mama ❤️ ] : i can't make no promises, genie 🙅🏾‍♀️ [ genie ] : okay, okay. i guess i'll take it. there is something else i have to tell you tho...it's about christian and me. [ baby mama ❤️  ] : what? i promise those pics ain't mean shit. i just wanted to make jameson jealous. [ genie ] : i know, i just want you to be careful with him .the reason why i stopped talking to him is because he slept with sloane. [ baby mama ❤️ ] : wtf??? 😡 you lyin! [ genie ] : i wish i was. i confronted sloane and she said he didn't even want me anyways...he liked someone else. i'm starting to think it's you he wanted. [ baby mama ❤️ ] : fuck, i'm so sorry genie. that nigga wouldn't even got a chance to breathe my air if i knew that shit. he's blocked now! and if i catch that bitch sloane in the street, i'm whooping her ass. i promise you that. idgaf bout no fame shit. [ baby mama ❤️  ] : are you okay now? [ genie ] : yeah, it's in the past. i got a new man now. [ baby mama ❤️  ] : ....new man?

Imani stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the strap of her dress, her gaze drifting the length of her gown. Being in front of crowds didn't phase her but she was going to a charity event -- a Christmas day gala. After spending the morning with visiting friends and family, she felt a sense of calm. He didn't stand in the forefront of her mind on Christmas Day. But the second she counted him out of her system, he course he did something to show her that he was still embedded in her skin.

As she descended the stairs to show off her dress to the assembled relatives, Imani rounded the corner with a bright grin. "And I look damn good!" There he stood among her cousins and aunt -- her father glaring from a corner. He looked handsome, quietly composed. He acted like he was supposed to be there. "What are you doing here?" she asked him, ignoring the curious looks of her family members.

She hadn’t expected him to show up tonight. Not after everything that had happened between them. But when he’d agreed weeks ago to escort her to the gala, she had assumed it was just a polite gesture— he was doing his best to get back in her good book. She hadn’t expected him to actually follow through.

And yet, here he was in a perfectly tailored tuxedo, standing with his hands in his pockets, leaning against her kitchen counter.

"We made plans," he replied, his voice warm, but with an edge of determination. “I wanted to keep them.”

She hesitated, eyes flicking over him, then around the room to everyone else. It wasn't as if they weren't aware of what was going on. They all saw the gossip, heard the news. But still -- she felt vulnerable letting them all have a front row seat to a fight with him. "Hmph. They definitely weren't still on." She hadn’t thought about what this night would actually feel like. It had been easy to imagine herself attending the gala without him—easy to picture her life moving forward without the constant ache of their broken relationship. But now that he was standing in front of her, it was harder to push him away.

"They aren't?" He asked with a deceptively innocent tilt to his head. "I didn't get that message from you. I'm sorry."

He was practically bating her into a reply. Imani glared at him, choosing to ignore his presence. She didn't respond, didn't say anything. She continued to fawn over her family, acting like Jameson wasn't there at all. They took pictures together, she tasted her aunty's dressing, and she kissed her parents goodbye before her team between to help her get into her driver's waiting car.

Jameson didn't complain, didn't beg for her attention. He stood silent and eventually followed her out of the house, waving goodbye to the family members that did engage with him.

She sighed, looking away from him. The thought of spending the evening with him, surrounded by people who would notice their tension, made her stomach churn. But something in her wouldn't let him win. They couldn't see her fluster or sweat when it came to him She had to admit, part of her wanted to go. Part of her wanted to see if this night could somehow undo all the hurt they’d caused each other.

“Mani,” he said, once he got into the car, his voice low and insistent. “We don’t have to pretend everything’s fine. But we can still do this. For one night. Let’s just...take things as they are.”

She met his gaze then, and for a moment, the weight of everything between them seemed to disappear. It was just him. Just her. And the night ahead of them.

“Fine,” she said, crisply. “But I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for me.”

He smiled and she saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Relief? Grief? It was something she couldn't identify. Every time he looked at her, it was as if he was asking for something. Whatever it was -- Imani didn't know if she had it in herself to give.

Sloane adjusted the strap of her Brandon Maxwell gown, a trembling hand brushing against her hair as she peered at her reflection in the tinted window of the car. Pulling herself together after Jameson left her alone in her apartment had been difficult. Christian had been a frantic last resort. He had shown up when she didn’t truly expect him to. She spent days in a daze, trying to truly understand what had gone wrong. The instinct to say something, to lash out was so strong that it felt suffocating. She’d been doomscrolling on Instagram and saw a grainy image of – was that Jameson?

It had been him. An image, taken from the account of one of Imani’s family members and posted directly to This Just In’s account. Seeing they were together had given Sloane some kind of strength. How dare they be happy when she was struggling? Her heels clicked against the pavement as she left the car and made her way towards the gala without an invitation. Sloane had a currency that mattered more than paper: Her name.

Heads turned as she passed, her presence commanding attention. But she wasn’t there to charm or distract – she was there to destroy. She didn’t even care what Imani would say or do to her. Just as long as Jameson’s gaze met her own again. Even if he was looking at her like he hated her – at least he was looking at her.

With a laugh and a promise to donate three times the amount as anyone else, she was allowed to enter. She saw him almost immediately. Imani wasn’t far but they weren’t wrapped up in each other. They weren’t laughing at her pain. They looked…miserable. It should have made her happy but Sloane simply stared, wondering what was happening between them. Imani didn’t meet Jameson’s gaze, Jameson kept tugging on his suit like he was uncomfortable. What was going on?

“Sloane.”

She turned sharply, her eyes narrowing as she met Christian’s gaze. He was impeccably dressed, as always, but there was a sadness in his expression that she didn’t expect.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed at him, somewhat ashamed that he had seen her cry a few days before and now he was looking at her with pity. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me,” Christian said firmly, stepping closer. “You’re spiraling, and you’re about to make a fool of yourself—and everyone else in the process.”

Sloane scoffed, frowning as she moved away from him. “You don’t get to lecture me, Christian. You’re just as complicit in this mess as I am.”

“Yeah, I am,” he admitted, his voice low and steady. “I’m stuck in this shit because I wanted somebody so bad that I lost myself trying to get her. Look at her. Hell, look at him. Just look!”

Sloane reluctantly looked across the room. Jameson was gazing out at the crowd, his eyes seeing but he didn’t seem to be registering anybody around. Imani was looking at him. Her gaze was soft. Almost sad. She loved him. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, Sloane could see it.

“They’re in their little world. We will never be able to get in because all they care about is each other.” Christian told her roughly, the reality making her sad. “I may not be able to judge you right now but I’m not the one standing here, ready to burn everything to the ground because I didn’t get my way.”

Her eyes flashed with anger and she jerked away from him. “You think this is about me? This is about him. Jameson thinks he can walk away from me like I’m nothing. Like I didn’t matter.”

“You mattered,” Christian said, his tone softening. “You did. And then you didn’t. That’s your own fault.” She flinched, recoiling as if he had hit her by being so casually cruel. It was a simple statement. One that had been true. Sloane hesitated, her lip trembling slightly. “But he…deserves it,” she said, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. “He deserves to know what it feels like to be humiliated.”

Christian stepped in front of her, blocking her path to the couple. “And what about you? Is that what you deserve? Don’t you think you’ve been through enough?”

Sloane’s lips parted, shoulders slumping as his words sank in. She began to blink quickly, trying to rid her eyes of tears. “What am I supposed to do now? Just let them win?”

He glanced over his shoulder, peering at Imani and Jameson. Whatever he’d been about to say, he chose not to. Instead, he pressed his hand to her elbow and began to walk her toward the exit. Sloane was too overwhelmed to do much of anything but let him. “Nobody is winning, Sloane. All of us are fucking losers in this shit. It’s time we both stop chasing a dream.”

Genie looped her arm through EJ’s as they entered the grand ballroom. Her Jacquemeus Pilou boots work perfectly as accessories. Her self-designed black velvet mini dress left a shoulder bare and very little to the imagination. For once, she felt good about everything. She cuddled close to EJ, knowing they were going to have much to explain to their best friends – but she was okay with that. She was ready. Genie adjusted the hem of her dress and scanned the room, already aware of the tension crackling in the air.

“Imani’s here,” she murmured, spotting her friend near the edge of the dance floor. She was standing stiffly next to Jameson, who leaned in to say something. Imani turned her head sharply, her expression a mix of defiance and unease.

EJ followed Genie’s gaze, his brow furrowing. “They don’t look like two people enjoying a gala together.”

“They don’t,” Genie agreed, her lips pressing into a thin line. She sighed, glancing up at EJ. “Imani doesn’t need this kind of stress right now.”

“You think Jameson brought her to stress her out?” EJ asked. “He’s obsessed with that girl. He’s probably trying to fix it.”

Genie hesitated, her eyes flicking back to the couple. Jameson’s posture was slightly hunched, as if he was trying to close the gap between them, but Imani’s arms were crossed, her body angled away.

“Whatever he’s doing, it’s not working.” she said softly, sighing. 

Before EJ could respond, movement near the entrance caught Genie’s attention. Her chest tightened as she spotted Sloane descending the stairs, her sharp gaze zeroed in on Jameson and Imani.

“Oh, God,” Genie huffed, annoyed with the fact that she was one foot into the gala and her night was looking to be ruined.

“What?” EJ turned, following her gaze. “Ain’t this bout a bitch.”

Sloane’s stride was purposeful, her dress clinging to her like armor. There was something wild in her expression, a barely restrained chaos that Genie had seen before—usually right before Sloane did something destructive.

“We need to stop her,” Genie said. “No. We don’t.” “Baby–” “No. That’s their shit, Genie. We said we’re out.”

It was like a car wreck. Genie couldn’t force herself to look away. Before Sloane could reach Imani and Jameson, Christian arrived. The two of them watched him step in front of Sloane, his hand on her arm as he spoke quickly. Sloane shook her head, her gestures animated, her voice too low to hear over the music. Christian’s grip tightened, and for a moment, it looked like she might shove him away.

Genie held her breath.

Sloane wavered, her shoulders slumping slightly. Christian leaned in, his tone firm but not unkind, and whatever he said seemed to take the fight out of her. With a sharp turn, she stalked back up the stairs and disappeared into the night.

Genie exhaled, relief washing over her. The tension between she and EJ were about other people and Genie would be damned if she let her night end on a bad note because her friends – ex and present – couldn’t get it together. “Okay. Fuck it. Fuck this party. I’m sorry. Take me home.”

The air inside EJ’s home was warm and quiet, a stark contrast to the loud chaos of the gala. Genie slipped off her heels and sank onto the plush couch, her head falling back against the cushions.

“Tonight was... a lot,” she said, closing her eyes.

“Yeah,” EJ agreed, loosening his tie. He sat down beside her, his arm draping casually over the back of the couch.

Genie turned her head to look at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You always know how to keep things steady, don’t you?”

“I try,” he said, his tone light.

She studied his face, the lines of his jaw, the way his eyes softened when they looked at her. She finally had that calm back. Before they let the world in, she had a little sliver of peace with EJ. He had been right. She cared far too much about other people and it was beginning to fuck with what she was trying to build with him.

Genie frowned somewhat, beckoning him over with a wave of her hand. “I’m sorry. I let everything get in my head again.”

EJ gave her a soft smile before leaning down to kiss her lips gently. “You can’t help it. That’s how you are. You love everybody and everything.”

“I just want them to be happy.” She whispered. “I know. But that’s not your job.” “It could be. Technically, I don’t have a job. I'm an heiress.” “Smart ass.” He murmured, kissing her again. “I can think of a job for you.” “Can you?”

His hand moved from the couch to her chin, fingertips gliding to press to her throat gently. Genie didn’t flinch, the action unfazed her. She trusted EJ implicity…and that turned him on.

“I can.” He knew she could see that things had changed. He’d only ever been between her legs to taste her, holding off on sex until they could have a conversation that he’d had several times before. Pulling his hand away, EJ rounded the couch and took a seat next to her. “I like sex, Genie. I like it a lot. And I like to control how I have sex.” 

EJ’s gaze met hers and he saw her eyes go wide. It took her less than a second to understand what he was saying. “Okay.” she murmured.

“Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

EJ spoke clearly and softly, his gaze tracking her movements.

“I’m not a virgin, EJ.” she told him with a laugh, “You want to tie me down? Spank me? I’m down. Whatever you want to do, I will do. Because I want you.”

“It can’t just be about me, Genie. We’re going to be together, we both have to like it.”

He seemed to be talking himself out of going further with her but the feel of her soft hand against his mouth stopped all conversation.

“I understand. We can take it slow. Teach me.” 

The words triggered something in EJ. He gave her a grin before nodding his own head. "Alright. Lemme teach you."

Despite the agreement that they'd let the night be what it was, the tension between them was thick and suffocating. The gala was in full swing, the lights from the building casting a warm glow over the crowd of well-dressed people. The party certainly didn't stop when they arrived but Jameson could detect a ripple of disbelief. They weren't supposed to be together. Even though they weren't holding hands, weren't kissing, or behaving anywhere near the way they normally would -- the two of them being together was going to cause a commotion.

Throughout the evening, they danced around the situation, polite and distant. They didn't even engage with each other much at all. He wanted to be there for her -- to not let her down once again but the more he stood beside her, the more he remembered just how fractured shit was. Every time he tried to engage her, she refused. It was like pulling teeth to exchange words.

He got more and more uncomfortable as the evening passed. He didn't know what to do with himself and Imani wasn'[t interested in making things easy for him.

But finally... she spoke to him.

About a fucking drink.

"I'm gonna go speak to my auntie real quick." she murmured. "you want a drink? I might go to the bar on my way back." 

"That's the first time you've talked to me like you don't hate me in two hours. And it's about a drink." he replied, not answering her question. Jameson reached up, gently pulling at the bowtie against his neck. Being on raw terms with Imani always made him uncomfortable but doing it in front of a crowd? It was even worse.

She chuckled lowly at his statement and he knew he was in for it. "What do we have to talk about, Jameson?” she said. "I think you've said enough. I heard enough. Don't make me regret asking."

Jameson tugged at his bowtie again, lifting his neck to undo the damn thing. he was beyond uncomfortable and keeping appearances wasn't important to him anymore. He didn't give a damn if people noticed they were standing feet apart and barely touching. "No, I don't want a fucking drink. I only came because I was tired of disappointing you. but I might as well have stayed at home for all you care." He pulled the silk from his neck, shoving it in his pocket as he unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt.

She clenched her jaw, folding her arms over her chest. “Yeah, maybe you should have stayed at home.” Well, this conversation was going horribly. 

“You really don’t think we have shit to talk about? I guess not, considering you’ve been ignoring my texts and calls.” Jameson asked her, amazed at her audacity. They hadn’t spoken since sloane’s party and that had been her decision. Once again, he was iced out and desperate to get back in. She gave him absolutely nothing until tonight. Everything else he found out from her Diary ep, and just the thought of the project agitated him even further. 

She sighed. Her annoyance began to show through her furrowed brows and crossed arms. She could no longer keep up with the facade either. “What the fuck do you want me to say to you? You said everything you needed to say. So, why we gotta keep talkin’ about the same shit?” she snapped. 

“Imani, you dropped a whole ep talking about how you felt about us before even picking up the phone to talk about those feelings with me, but we have nothing to talk about?” She looked around the gala, looking for any eyes on the two of them. Jameson didn’t give a fuck though. His reputation took a backseat to their relationship every time. 

“Why does it matter what I do? You made your choice and it wasn’t me. So nothing I do concerns you.”

Jameson turned to glare at imani, actually confused for the first time during their conversation. He didn't even need to play stupid or lie. “In what world, In what fucking reality, did I tell you that I chose her over you? I should have done differently that night but I would never say that shit to you.” He thought back to their argument and couldn’t figure out what the fuck was even happening here. He spent his entire week, bombarding her with calls and texts, but she was still focused on Sloane? 

Imani turned to glare at him. “You didn’t have to fuckin’ say it! It’s the fact that you didn’t say anything. That’s making a choice right there, Jameson.”

He sighed. “I texted and called you this whole week. I went and got fitted for a tux without you even telling me if you still wanted me to go to this gala. Then I showed up. All of that was for you.” he said, his voice strained. He stared at her. “I wouldn’t do that for anybody else.”

“Okay? You want a cookie?” imani scoffed. “None of that means anything to me, Jameson. You didn’t stick up for me at Sloane’s party. you chose her. So go be with her.” He watched her scan the crowd again, realizing that she kept her temper in check, because there were other people around. “Go get your girl.”

From her EP to her admitting his actions meant nothing, his feelings were hurt. Jameson didn’t fool himself into thinking that everything would be okay if he showed up tonight but he felt he was doing the right thing by being here. “You can’t tell me how I feel about you. You can’t tell me I love anybody more than I love you. You can’t tell me that I don’t think the world begins and ends with you. I don’t fucking feel right if I can’t talk to you. I do stupid shit like fly to Italy and bang on every room door just to fucking see you. But I’m so tired of trying to convince you that my sun does not rise if you aren't around...so I won’t anymore. I’m done. You’re right about one thing…I should have stayed my ass home tonight.”

it may have been a sliver of a second but her demeanor softened. it was like he triggered an alarm because her guard was right back up again. "Yeah, maybe it's best if you go then. Because you tellin' me how much you love me don't mean shit. If you really loved me in the way you say that you do, I wouldn't even have to question my position in your life.”

Jameson hated to leave her, he hated to continue the distance between them, but it was getting to be too much now. He could feel his fragile composure slipping even more. “I love you and I don't want to keep hurting you.” He leaned in briefly, kissing her cheek. “So I’ll see you when I see you, Imani.” He gave her one final look before walking away, slipping through the crowd easily as he made his way out.

Imani exhaled a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. contrary to what she said, She didn’t want Jameson to leave. Imani looked out at the crowd to see if he was still there. Her eyes focused on him and no one else as he moved through everyone. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to work things out. That she believed him but her feet didn’t move an inch. She just watched him until she couldn’t see him anymore. 

She sighed, standing to her feet. Imani went to go look for her aunt, Toni St. Cirie. she needed a distraction. Imani wasn’t going to cry, but if she thought about her conversation with Jameson for too long, she would lose it. 

Luckily for Imani, she didn’t get far in her heels when she felt a bump to her side. She looked to see the blonde woman standing beside her. “You need it. Drink.” Imani took the champagne without a second thought. She almost chugged it down until she remembered where she was at, so she settled on a sip. 

“Thank you. Can you sit with me for a while?” If Toni was here, she was more than likely working. She never attended galas just to mingle and bump shoulders with the wealthy. Imani didn’t want to take her away from her job for too long. She just needed someone to talk to. 

“Of course.” She answered softly. The two navigated the floor together.  Imani held onto her champagne glass tightly. the more people she saw, the less she wanted to be there. She wanted to go home. She was grateful when Toni found a spot away from everyone else. Toni pulled out a chair for Imani and took a seat next to her. The woman looked around before speaking. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She rolled her eyes, thinking back on her conversation with Jameson. She wanted nothing more than to forget it. “Auntie, it’s so stupid. I know you heard about that fight at that girl’s party,” she said, refusing to address Sloane by name anymore. “Well, I hadn’t talked to him this whole week because what do we have to talk about when you obviously made your choice? He was still calling and everything, but I ignored it all and dropped Diary. i just didn’t expect him to show up tonight.”

Toni quirked a brow as she explained their latest quarrel.

Imani sighed, "I know i should leave him alone. it’s just – hard.”

“Well then, it’s good that he left right?” Toni told Imani. she had never been Jameson’s biggest fan. Her aunt always advocated for her to leave him alone and focus on her career. She said a relationship like theirs would only lead to insanity.

Imani nodded slowly, “I–I guess so,” she said timidly. Now that they were alone, she forgot about her formalities and looking like she had everything together. She gulped down the rest of her champagne, feeling it tingle in the back of her throat. She needed to feel something other than anger and sorrow right now. The champagne would do.

Toni reached out and touched her knee. “Baby…” she said softly, shaking her head. “Anything worth doing is going to be difficult. You keep going in this circle with Jameson. You’re happy for a while and then you’re right back here. In this feeling. He shouldn’t get to have all this power over you. This should be the last time that you feel like this.”

She gazed at her aunt. Imani always took Toni’s advice regarding her career and everything else. She was terrible at listening to her when it came to Jameson. Yet, she nodded her head. “You’re…right. Nobody should be allowed to make me feel like this.”

“Damn right,” Toni confirmed with a smirk. she took her niece’s hands in her own, holding them close. “You just released an ep full of hits, Imani. That should be your focus. Not a man. But if you have to date someone, let me introduce you to a nice boy.”

She laughed for the first time tonight. “Depending on what the nice boy looks like, I might take you up on your offer.”

Toni smiled, nodding in agreement. “I’ll make sure he’s an elite-looking boy.”

“I trust your taste, auntie. All of your exes are fine as hell.” She couldn’t think of ever seeing Toni with an ugly man; she had good taste. The two of them continued their conversation about men, which eventually shifted to her career and different ideas she had for her Diary ep, and eventually, Imani wasn’t thinking about Jameson at all.

Genie might be the woman of his dreams.

She asked to be taught and he wasted no time doing just that. EJ figured they would take things slow. He would teach her how to please him. They’d get to sex another time. But as she lay across his bed, the dress had customized for herself hung with care in his closet, he knew he was going to fuck her.

She turned her head, taking his length down her throat once more. She was on her knees and stomach, leaning over the edge of the bed to get to him. EJ grunted in pleasure at the perfect feel of her wet mouth, a deep rumble that reverberated in his own chest. His dick throbbed in her mouth as her cheeks hollowed out. She kept her gaze on his face, hands clenched in the blanket as if she were waiting for instruction. 

“Pull back.” He told her roughly, pleased when she immediately knew it meant to keep only the head of him in her mouth. Pre-cum mixed with her saliva coated his dick and EJ gave her a wistful sigh of appreciation. She held him there in her mouth, those pretty hazel eyes just asking for more.

He seized the back of Genie's hair, pulling her forward onto his cock slowly. The further they went, the wider her eyes got but she didn’t pull away. Didn’t buck back. Didn’t tell him she couldn’t handle it. The action caused Genie to gag slightly which only turned him on more. He groaned and thrust his hips forward only to be met with her hand against his thigh.

EJ pulled back suddenly, leaving Genie gasping for air. "Not bad," he praised lightly, grinning wolfishly down at his lover as he reached around to stroke himself off lazily, watching Genie with hooded eyes. “Now I’m going to be nice and give you a choice. Don’t you think that’s nice of me?”

Genie opened her mouth to respond but then closed it and nodded. He had given her four rules when they started to play.

Be honest about your comfort level

Don’t speak unless given permission

Call him “Sir” or nothing at all.

No touching without permission.

EJ grinned, proud that she had remembered a rule. "Good girl. Very good girl." he praised before leaning down to kiss Genie gently on the lips. They were full and wet from the attention she had given his dick. He was even more proud of her. "So here's your choice: do you want me to fuck you or do you–”

“Fuck me!” Genie blurted out, her eyes going wide as if she couldn’t believe she’d said it. They both went quiet before EJ burst out in laughter. Genie blushed but she didn’t seem dismayed at the turn of things.

"I wasn’t done talking," EJ told her with a quirked brow. “I’m sorry, Sir.” She said softly, her fingers pulling at the blankets in anticipation.

He brushed his thumb against her mouth, liking the way she opened her lips as if begging him to press the digit inside. He gave in to her, pushing his thumb in. Genie brushed her tongue against it, sucking just as eagerly as she did when his dick was in her mouth.

It was enough to make him feel less guilty about giving in. He was fucking her because she asked…but also because he wanted her so bad that he could feel the pre-cum dripping from his dick.

"You picked what we do. I decide how we do it." EJ told her decisively. “Turn around.” 

She was already on her knees but she understood exactly what he meant. Genie scrambled to turn her back to him, stretching her hands across the bed. The anticipation was a fucking killer. He watched her tremble, glancing over her shoulder every two seconds as if he was going to change his mind. EJ pressed his fingers between her legs, gathering her slick onto his fingers. She did her best not to make a sound but EJ knew she’d be unable to resist. They were new to all of this. He was going to go easy on her.

“Let me hear it, sweetness.” He encouraged her, noticing how her shoulders sagged in relief when she got permission. Genie let out a soft moan as he climbed onto the bed, his knees sinking into the mattress as he pressed himself against her. He drew his dick up and down her folds, teasing them both. EJ leaned over her back, peppering kisses along her spine as he finally grasped her hips in his hands.

EJ felt her brace for the inevitable thrust so he moved slowly. Inch by inch, he introduced her to her dick and it made her clench and squirm more than she would have if he just pinned her down and fucked her. Genie arched her back in pleasure, panting softly. She squeezed around him and he just knew it was going to be over if he didn’t do something.

"Hold it," EJ whispered, leaning down to press his lips to her ear, “I want to take my time with you.” He kissed and nipped at her earlobe. Genie shuddered at the sensation and nodded, eagerly spread her legs wider, giving him better access. She sank further against the bed, her palms turned down to grip the comforter.

Ej chuckled darkly and trailed his lips down to Genie's neck, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin there. Meanwhile, one hand reached between her legs to tease her already wet clit. Genie moaned and arched into his touch, craving more. “Sir, I–”

But he ignored her.

EJ continued to tease and torment her. Genie arched back, twisting her hips out in pleasure as he began to move them in a slow, torturous rhythm. She mumbled words he couldn't quite comprehend but he understood how her body twisted and turned. Her hands gripped the sheets tightly. EJ's other hand traveled up to fondle one of her breasts, pinching and rolling her nipple between his fingers as his hips kept her pinned beneath him.

The combination of sensations had Genie writhing beneath Ej's touch, begging for release. But EJ seemed determined to push her closer and closer to the edge without letting her fall over.

"P-Please," Genie moaned desperately, needing more friction against her sensitive clit.

"Please what?" "Please, sir!" "No. Not yet."

Trapped underneath EJ, Genie couldn't do anything but hold on for dear life. His hips picked up speed, the rhythm he'd spent what felt like forever setting had changed. He had changed. "Open that pussy up for me." He grunted, the rough and vulgar words were so different from anything he'd ever uttered to her that Genie looked back over her shoulder -- almost checking to see if this was the same man who'd been slowly seducing her for months.

Their gaze met and EJ tilted his head, wordlessly asking if she liked it. She gave him a little smile, permission to continue on. And so he did.

"I said...open." His hand pulled back from her breast and slapped her thigh. Genie spread her legs wide again, falling back against the bed. Whatever he had done had made it easier for him to dig into her and she was feeling shit anew. "That's what I'm talking about." EJ grunted, lifting a leg to plant his foot against the bed.

He pounded into Genie from behind, picking up speed. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure through his body and he couldn't control the moans that escaped his lips. He had nothing on Genie. She cooed and oohed, gushed over him and burrowed her face in the sheets -- almost as if she were embarrassed of the noises he was bringing from her body. Her throat, her pussy, her thighs. They were all loud as fuck, echoing throughout his bedroom.

EJ couldn't think straight, all he could focus on was the intense pleasure coursing through his body with each movement of his hips. Her submissiveness brought it out of him. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge with every passing second and knew that neither of them wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

"Sir!," she cried out, her voice strained as she curled up and took every thrust. "May I cum? Oh please let me. Please. I was a good girl." She begged him and that sent him damn near over the edge. He looked down at the girl of his dreams -- gripping his sheets, biting her lips, brows furrowed and dripping with sweat. He would give her anything in the fucking world. An orgasm was nothing.

"Go ahead. Cum for me," Ej grunted out, biting down on the sensitive skin of Genie's neck. It sent her over the edge. She spasmed under him, whimpering and grunting as he keep going. She squeezed at him so tightly that stars exploded behind his closed eyelids. "Jesus, fuck..." he whispered as he came hard, white heat igniting every nerve in his body.

They collapsed onto the bed together, panting heavily and still connected

You said you were done. He said he was done let it go. She told herself several times throughout the night. She had drank and donated...and did her best not to cry over the fact that she felt so very alone. She mingled some but her mind was still on him.

It didn't matter what she told Toni. Her heart wanted Jameson. She didn't know if she even be listening to the damn thing but it beat like crazy when she thought of him or saw him. He owned her in a way that made her damn near crazy. How could she let him walk away without seriously considering she'd never see him again?

She just couldn't take it anymore. She unblocked him and sent a text message. One that he didn't answer. Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for a response. When it didn't come, she didn't get angry -- she decided she was going to have her way. They were going to figure this shit out. Imani pulled her phone from her clutch, swaying as she dialed the number. Being tipsy helped her put her pride aside.

It rang twice...and then he answered. "Hello?"

She could tell he was hesitant. Hell, she was terrified of what was going to come of it but they needed to do it. They had to get it out. "Come back and get me." She told him softly.

"I don't want to fight anymore, Mani." "We're not fighting. We're talking." "All we seem to do is fight." "And miss each other. Don't we miss me?" "...Yes." "Then get your ass up. Come get me, Daddy. Let's figure it out."

He hesitated for only a minute but then Imani heard him sigh and the sound of keys. "I'm on my way."

[penkura]

knowing [7/8]

Summary: Sanji knew you were the one the moment he met you.

Pairing: Sanji x Reader

Warnings: None really. Normal One Piece stuff I guess.

Note: The end is near!! Wano my beloved, I love Sanji in Wano sm. Another shorter one, compared to six and eight, but we're in the home stretch!! Next chapter is the finale and I hope it will be worth it!

Taglist:

@jzkeisuke | @arcanumlaw

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6]

Your arrival in Wano started with all of you separated from Luffy, navigating your way through a forested area, hoping to find a town. Sanji kept a hold of your hand the whole time, refusing to let you wander off or get left behind somehow. Of course you weren't like Zoro with your sense of direction, Sanji just wanted to be sure you didn't get separated from the group (mostly from him).

Once you did find Luffy, Kin'emon got you all up to speed on what they had been doing. You were to help recruit more Samurai and ninja for the raid on Onigashima in about two weeks. You'd have to take on a role in the city to keep a low profile, while passing out the cards with the insignia that Kin'emon had put together. He provided disguises with his technique, Nami's being a lot more showy than she liked so she had to adjust it, but you were quick to try and reject whatever he tried to dress you in.

"No no, I think I'm fine with what I'm wearing. I'm a kunoichi already."

"While yes you are, it would be better if you could take on another role for the time being!"

"Then she'll stay with me!" Sanji nodded, putting his arms around your shoulders, Franky and Usopp both still confused since you hadn't had the chance to tell them yet, "We could pretend we're married and running a stall together!"

"Hey Sanji," Usopp was a bit concerned, but did take note of how you didn't push Sanji off or anything, "Maybe she wants to go help Nami or we could see if she can help Franky get the mansion plans. There's no need for you guys to pretend you're a couple!"

"We won't be pretending we're a couple! Just that we're married! We're already together so it doesn't matter!"

"...wait what?"

Realizing what he said, Sanji blushed a bit before hiding his face in your shoulder, making you pat him on his head. You found it funny how he seemed to become so shy about it, maybe because you two hadn't gotten to actually sit and tell Usopp and Franky.

"Poor, poor boyfriend. I don't mind pretending we're married and helping Sanji."

"B…boyfriend?!"

"Yes, Sanji and I are dating."

Franky and Usopp both shouted at you, asking when that happened and being surprised when you said it'd been about two years. Telling you it was 'super' you were together, Franky started crying while Usopp couldn't believe how you kept such a secret for so long, asking who else knew.

"Everyone. You guys were the last two we had to tell."

"Whaaaat??"

+!+

After everything had been settled and you allowed Kin'emon to give you a disguise that let you blend in like a regular Wano housewife, you helped Sanji and Usopp figure out what kind of food stall Sanji would run. The lone soba stand caught your attention, and you noticed Sanji was watching them carefully, which caused you to say his name and get him out of his thoughts. He'd been watching closely after a young girl and her mother had gone up and gotten bowls themselves.

"Hey, do me a favor. Go get in line and get a bowl of that soba."

"Uh, ok, babe, I can do that."

You stood in line for a while, Sanji and Usopp off to the side talking while you waited, until the stand owners stopped taking orders just before you got up to the front. When you went back over to them, you latched back onto Sanji's arm and apologized that you couldn't get a bowl but he gave you a smile.

"Nah, don't worry. I got the information I needed, thank you."

Confused, you still smiled back and nodded, the three of you returning to where you'd be staying during your time in Wano. You'd all had dinner, thanks to Sanji of course, before turning in for the night, and you absolutely refused to go with anyone but Sanji. Might as well really play the part of husband and wife, was your excuse when Nami said you should go with her, Shinobu, and Carrot. She rolled her eyes at you and just said not to go making any babies or anything, causing you to turn bright, bright red and threaten to revoke her honorary kunoichi status while she laughed at you.

"You could've gone with the girls, it would've been fine."

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around Sanji while he did the same to you, pulling you even closer to himself.

"I'd much rather stay with you~"

His turned bright red, no matter how many times you share a bed, it still made Sanji so nervous. He still didn’t believe that you were real, that you loved him and wanted him, he’d never had anyone return his feelings and affections before you. Maybe it was crazy, to think so much about marrying you already, when you were technically his first and only girlfriend, but it seemed like you had the same thoughts, especially after the whole fiasco with his family and the Big Mom pirates.

He didn’t want to ever put you through emotional distress like that again.

“Hey, uh—”

Sanji tried to say something, but instead, he heard you snoring already, very lightly. It made him breathe in relief, with a smile on his face. You really helped him out that day with getting his soba stand ready, you must’ve been so wiped out.

“Sleep well, mon amour.”

I’ll ask you another day.

+!+

With the raid on Onigashima just days away, you and Sanji had found less time to spend with each other during waking hours. You’ve all moved elsewhere to prepare for the raid, Kin’emon and the other Samurai helping you where they could as they prepared too. Shinobu and Raizo had taken a liking to you since you were a kunoichi yourself, both being surprised but impressed to hear you were from an offshoot of Wano, asking how the village was doing and making plans to go there once Wano’s borders were opened.

Two nights before the raid, Sanji finally worked out some time for the two of you to spend and relax, he made a dinner for just the two of you, that Luffy tried multiple times to sneak a bite from until Nami pulled him away and gave him the dinner Sanji made for all of them. The last time Nami had to drag him away made you laugh, while Sanji just rolled his eyes.

“Bottomless pit, that’s what he is.”

“We’ve known that for two years now.”

You giggled, leaning into Sanji’s arm with your head on his shoulder, causing him to kiss the top of your head before you sighed happily.

“I’m glad to have this time with you…everything’s going to be insane day after tomorrow.”

“Yeah…but it’ll be okay. We’ll free this place and then be on our way again.”

“I know, it’s just…getting there is going to be a lot.”

Sanji knew you were probably worried about him, honestly about everyone, but he was the only one you were expressing those worries to. He wanted you to be relaxed and to know that everything would be perfectly fine. Robin had talked to him about how you were seeming more worried as time went on, as the raid got closer, and he got an idea of how to maybe calm you down, but it might also make you even more worried, he wasn’t sure of what to do.

Do I ask her now…? Is this a weird time to propose?

Before he even had a chance to say anything, the two of you were being called by Usopp for something about the raid, making you sigh with a slightly sad smile on your face before looking at Sanji.

“Duty calls. But,” you stopped and kissed him before getting up to go see what was going on, both of you smiling after, “This was lovely, Sanji, you’re the best boyfriend ever.”

“Stop, I’m just taking care of my beautiful girlfriend…we’ll do this again, okay?”

“Of course. I love you, Sanji~”

“I love you too, my dear.”

Later. I’ll ask her later, once everything is settled here.

+!+

"No I…I didn't do anything!"

"You're the only one who could have!"

The geishas threw things at Sanji to get him out of the room, it barely phased him as he did so, wondering what on earth just happened. He had no idea! He'd been running off from Queen and the other Animal Pirates to get his thoughts in order over the oddities he'd noticed about himself recently, so lost in thought he didn't have any clue what caused this one geisha to go flying.

Though, his greatest fear now was that he had caused her to become hurt. Maybe it really was the only thing that made sense. Was he losing himself to that Germa science raid suit?

"Let me see that Germa science, Judge's son!"

Queen kept up his attempts to rile Sanji in order to see the raid suit technology, which Sanji kept denying. This time he was still so lost in thought, wondering what you, over anyone else, would have thought seeing what just happened.

Or worse…what if I hurt [Y/N] next time?

If he hurt you because of those genetic abilities, Sanji would never forgive himself. He'd never forgive his father or Germa for anything anyway, but should their science cause him to harm the most important person in his life, all that blame would fall on his own shoulders. He'd only meant to test the raid suit, not become dependent upon it or let it awaken the monstrous abilities his brothers had from the start. He never thought that would be possible after Reiju explained why he was so different from the rest of them.

Tell me, Luffy….which would you prefer? The regular flesh-and-blood me who turns into a helpless wreck when facing a woman, or a cruel emotionless warrior of science who can kill without discrimination if you give the order? Which of these would be more useful to you, as king of the pirates?

Despite his thoughts wondering if Luffy would somehow be better served by Germa's science, Sanji's thoughts also drifted to you as he retrieved the raid suit from his pocket. Which version would you prefer? Someone willing to kill anyone without qualms if so directed, or would you still prefer the emotional mess of a man that doted on you and had your respect for sticking to his principles of not fighting a woman?

"I've made up my mind."

"Ooh," Queen's excitement over seeing the raid suit was quite obvious, "is that your raid suit?!"

"I have to assume that this thing caused the science already in my body to awaken and activate somehow," Sanji dropped the raid suit to the ground, lifting his foot while Queen watched him stomp on the canister, "Well, I can't do anything about that! But I can say no more! I won't become a Germa soldier!"

"Aww what a waste!! I wanted to see you transform!"

Pulling out a baby transponder snail, calling Zoro and letting him argue with him briefly about his reasoning for slipping it into his band, Sanji hated making such a request of Zoro of all people.

"We're gonna win this but…after the finisher if I'm not…in my right mind, I need you to kill me."

"All right, fine! I'll kill you after this is over, whatever that means!"

"And I…need you to tell [Y/N]--"

"I'm not saying anything sappy!"

There was no time to argue or fight, so Sanji just nodded. He figured it'd be a long shot anyway.

"At least I'll have something to look forward to after this. So don't die until then!"

"Thanks."

"Hey," they were short on time, but Zoro decided he'd say one more thing, "I'll tell her."

"Appreciate it."

+!+

"Oh my gosh, Sanji, what happened?!"

You had finished helping Usopp and Nami get Otama somewhere safe, and returned back into the castle to search for anyone else that needed help or to find the rest of your comrades. After finding most everyone, though you had no idea where Zoro was really and knew Luffy was on the roof, you ended up finding a room with some geishas who were tending to Sanji's injuries. You were instantly on your knees beside him asking the geisha girl next to him what happened.

"He…he fought and defeated Master Queen!! He protected me after we accused him of attacking me!"

You might have to ask him about that last bit later, but you were so relieved to hear Sanji was all right, he was just injured but was being treated by the geishas.

Of course you protected her, you sweet man..

Leaning over, you gently kissed his forehead which surprised the geisha girl, Osome, you'd later learn.

"You're so amazing. I love you, Sanji."

"O-Oh, are you two…?"

You smiled at Osome with a nod. "Yes! He's the love of my life! Thank you for taking care of him!"

"I-It's the least I could do after he saved Chuji!"

The little mouse squeaked and made you smile softly. Osome explained everything to you, while you stayed by Sanji for the moment, brushing his hair back out of his face and holding his hand. After you heard the whole story, knowing Sanji wasn't at fault for Osome being hurt and that he'd beaten Queen, you stood up when you heard some shouting about the fire.

"Can you stay with him for me? I'm going to go help some others!"

"Y-Yes!"

"Thank you!"

You ran out of the room, promising yourself and Sanji that you two would get some time alone again soon, and you'd tell him how proud you were of him.

Soon, I swear.

[howdoesagrapewrites]

𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙑 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧

Cw: no witty title, it's just headcanons about their weather preferences.

MILES MORALES is a totally a spring/autumn kind of guy, maybe slightly inclined towards fall, he likes the cafes and overall aesthetic, drawing on rainy days typa stuff. And he likes the cold weather outfits better, he doesn't get that cold, but his mom definitely tells him to wear more layers of clothing because it's cold and he'll get sick.

Heat resistance: 6/10

Cold resistance: 7/10

GWEN STACY is a summer girl, surprisingly. However, her heat tolerance is very bad, so it's common to her to have a killer headache after a beach day, she says it's worth it, she also sunburns really easily and has to apply sunscreen in copious amounts. She doesn't dislike the cold, but I think her favorite part of winter is the snow, she loves snowball fights (snowball wars, to her) and hot cocoa, she doesn't like spring as much since she became spider-woman, she doesn't have terrible allergies, but she has some, and it gets hard to breathe under the mask.

Heat resistance: 4/10

Cold resistance: 7/10

PETER B. PARKER is also an autumn enjoyer, he loves Halloween, loves the occasional rain, and it loves that the color palette reminds him of Mary Jane, he's cheesy like that. He likes winter too, mostly Christmas (I headcanon him as partly jewish, but he celebrates Christmas, you cannot tell me this man doesn't leave cookies for Santa), summer is not his favorite part of the year, but he learned to love it for his wife.

Heat resistance: 5/10

Cold resistance: 9/10

HOBIE BROWN has no preferences, I mean, he has them, but they're constantly changing. He likes winter/fall clothes better, but it doesn't matter, because this motherfucker has the best heat tolerance ever, he doesn't even break a sweat, it's 40°c outside and he's wearing a leather coat and combat boots while Gwen is becoming a puddle on the floor. He likes to eat ice cream, no matter the season, he also bites ice lollies/popsicles. 💔

Heat resistance: 10/10

Cold resistance: 8/10

PAVITR PRABHAKAR loves spring, he doesn't like that valentine's day is in winter, he thinks it should be in spring!! It's much nicer!! He also likes the festivals that occur that time of the year. He has mild allergies but not enough to make him dislike this beautiful time of the year. He likes the rest of seasons equally, but spring takes the grand prize by a long shot. He doesn't have particularly bad cold resistance, but he likes wearing a lot of knitted items.

Heat resistance: 7/10

Cold resistance: 7/10

MIGUEL O'HARA is a winter person. I think he really enjoyed summers when he had Gabriela, because she was on vacation and they did cool summer activities together. But now that time of the year brings him sadness, and he never loved the summer to start with, he doesn't like to sweat.

Heat resistance: 5/10

Cold resistance: 8/10

JESSICA DREW likes spring, she likes cold strawberry lemonade, maybe a beer after fixing her bike, he likes to get flowers for herself and be gifted flowers. She also strikes me as a morning person, so she loves those healthy breakfasts with fruits and granola. She likes having the summer vibe without the heat. She's another hot cocoa lover, but she wants to perfect the best recipe, and tries every winter, and she's a sucker for maple syrup, and can't wait to spend winters with his child.

Heat resistance: 8/10

Cold resistance: 7/10

MARGO KESS likes winter too, but it'd be most appropriate to say it's late autumn she likes staying indoors, but being able to go for a walk or simply step out of the house without a blizzard, she likes the freedom it provides, it doesn't force you indoors, it just makes it easier. She's adores the cottagecore spring though, but it's mostly the aesthetic, but it does feel nice to have some warmth hitting your skin after winter.

Heat resistance: 5/10

Cold resistance: 6/10

PETER PARKER aka Spider-Noir doesn't have much of a preference, his world doesn't have colors, so he can't fully appreciate spring, winter feels the most natural to him, but he'll pick summer because he likes seeing his Mary Jane in summer dresses. He has average tolerance for any climate, so he's quite indifferent.

Heat resistance: 6/10

Cold resistance: 6/10

PENI PARKER likes summer! She likes going to the pool, eating ice cream, going to convenience stores to buy icy treats, loves summer fruits, summer really cheers her up, spring is a close second though. She still likes winter, mostly the festivities.

Heat resistance: 9/10

Cold resistance: 8/10

GAYATRI SINGH likes spring, this is due Pavitr's influence, she always liked spring, but seeing him so hyped really pulls her heart strings, she also likes celebrating Sikh new year with her father, she has good childhood memories. She does hate something, and that's SWEAT, she hates it, she can stand sweaty hands, but she'd distract the other person and wipe her hands in desperation, and I'm sure she's the type of person who'd leave the bed because Pavitr was sweaty, or who'd take a cold shower in the middle of the night because of this. So summer is not for her, early spring is her favorite time. She also enjoys autumn a lot.

Heat resistance: 4/10

Cold resistance: 6/10

GANKE LEE is a winter lover through and through, he likes the snow, has mixed feelings about Seollal, but loves it most of the time, and his favorite part is staying inside drinking a hot beverage. He loves winter but has poor tolerance to the cold, like Gwen and summer, so he's freezing most of the time, but it's okay (he'll steal all the sweaters Miles doesn't use).

Heat resistance: 5/10

Cold resistance: 3/10

MILES G. MORALES was one of those kids whose nose constantly bled during the summer, he also fainted a couple times, he's embarrassed by it, so he always has a fan near him, and eats a lot of ice cream and cold drinks to lower his body temperature. He can't bring himself to hate summer though, it's his mother favorite time of the year, and he's a mama's boy. His favorite time of the year is also fall, because the weather isn't that extreme and he still gets to enjoy the cold.

Heat resistance: 2/10

Cold resistance: 9/10

RIO MORALES loves summer with her whole heart, she's the mom that makes caldo when it's hot like hell outside, she loves going to the farmer's market to buy fresh fruit, and she loves having a girl's night with her friends during the summer. She loathes the cold, not because she can't resist it, but because she is paranoid about her and her family getting sick. She used to give Miles those weird ass concoctions that claimed to solve every illness, she still threatens to give it to him when he's leaving home without a jacket. She trusts vic vaporub with her life.

Heat resistance: 10/10

Cold resistance: 7/10

JEFFERSON DAVIS is fucking cold blooded, when it's hot outside he acts like a lizard bathing in the rays of sunlight. Obviously his favorite season is summer. He wears so many layers under his police uniform he needs a bigger size during the winter. Jefferson loves Brooklyn and could never leave, but it's SO COLD, he has asked Rio more than once, "honey, do you ever feel like going back to Puerto Rico?" And she's like "Jeff what the hell???".

Heat resistance: 10/10

Cold resistance: 1/10

MARY JANE WATSON loves new year's eve and Christmas, winter really brings back beautiful memories of her youth with Peter, but MJ is a summer gal at heart. She has a (strictly monogamous) hot girl summer every year, she likes feeling sexy and desired by her husband and doesn't want to take the spark for granted. She loves taking Mayday to the beach with her, and buys her the cutest toddler bathing suits, they regularly buy matching ones, MJ wearing a bikini and May on a frilly onesie. Unlike the other snowbunnies in this post, she doesn't sunburn easily, just gets a lot more freckles. She still doesn't leave the sun screen behind, ever.

Heat resistance: 8/10

Cold resistance: 8/10

[kairiscorner]

MAGANDANG ARAW POOOI nainlove po ako sa mga xfilipino!reader nyo!!! can it be Pavitr's next? thank you po have a great day!!!!!!!!

MAGANDANG MAGANDANG MAGANDANG MAGANDANG MAGANDANG ARAW POOOOOO (shit asa radyo beh LMAO) OOOO THIS IS SO CUTE! ngl, i think pav would be the favorite one of filo parents out of all the four :'>> BUT OK, HERE'S WHAT I GOT !!

pav x filipino reader

this boy, oh this boy........ yeah i'm pretty sure your parents would love him the minute they met him. he's so respectful and upbeat, HE GETS ALONE WELL WITH ALL YOUR RELATIVES MGEE, all your cousins want him and his hair, LIKE HE'S PROBABLY THE TYPE TO USE THE SHAMPOO SACHETS AND IT'D COME OUT STUNNING !!!

i think he'd get along really well with your younger cousins and your ates or female cousins, like idk, i just have a feeling he'd get along with them better than anyone else. OH AND HE'D BE THE FAVORITE OF YOUR LOLAS MAN, HE'S A LOLA'S BOY, YOU CANNOT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.

oh and at karaoke? BEHHHH HE SLAYING OUT THERE, HE CAN SING MORISETTE AND REGINE FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS HEART, he sings from the heart kaya ang ganda ng boses niya <333

+ he looks at you when he sings a filo love song

++ HE WINKS AT YOU WHEN HE GETS TO THE INTERLUDE

+++ HE WALKS OVER TO YOU AND HE ASKS TO DANCE WITH YOU AS HE SINGS !!!!!!!!!

when "awitin mo at isasayaw ko" comes on, HE TAKES YOU BY THE HAND AND STARTS GROOVING WITH YOUUU kahit sabihin mo di ka magaling sumayaw, wala siyang PAKE, SASAYAWIN KA NIYA KAHIT DI KA MARUNONG UY !!

he'd sing along, or hum if he doesn't know the lyrics, AND HE'D DIP YOU MID DANCE AND CHUCKLE WHEN YOU YELP AS HE DOES THAT BECAUSE HE JUST DOES IT OUT OF NOWHERE TO SURPRISE YOU

also he's the type to wake up super early and be super extra in telling your parents he's here to take you to school :>> like...... "hello po, tito, tita! nandito po ba ang aking tanging iniibig? sapagkat nandito ako upang ihatid siya sa kulunga-- ESTE..... sa school po :>"

man, he's always prepared for any emergency when he takes you out to school or back home, or anywhere, really. he's always got extra money to use when you wanna get an after school snack or maybe buy some school supplies for you in case you need something right away at para di ka na maabala ykyk

and he always has a go-bag, i'm pretty sure he was that kid at school na laging may dalang go-bag kahit tapos na mga fire and earthquake drills, and he'd ALWAYS be ready with stuff you need, he doesn't judge. your favorite snacks, bottled water, pamaypay, pads, power bank, all kinds of chargers, and ofc 25/8 pagmamahal sayo YIEEEEE

when you two walk home, he's always insisting to hold your hand the whole time. his excuse is sa sobrang ganda mo kasi, baka mawala ka sa kanya :< may magsteal sayo raw :> HE LOVES HOLDING YOUR HAND AND IS SO FREAKING GIDDY WHEN YOU HOLD HIM, especially when you rub the pad of your thumb on the back of his hand AHFEIJBVIRFVBRFBVRNORFOB deds na siya

he also never fails to do the "mano po" when he meets your parents, SIYA MISMO LALAPIT SA KANILA KAHIT HE JUST NEEDS TO BE AT THE GATE OF YOUR HOUSE, HE WILL PERSONALLY COME UP TO YOUR PARENTS AND GREET THEM AND GIVE THEM A MANO PO

he so freaking sweet omg,,, so sweet that if you two separated classes any school year after you two became a thing, HE IS THE TYPE TO COME TO YOUR CLASSROOM HABANG WALA PANG TEACHER TAS IHAHARANA KA NIYA <333

"mahal ko, i can't last a day without seeing you! please, huwag mo kong kalimutaaaaaaan!"

he's addicted to calling you mahal, because not only are your standards so high for a guy na SIYA LANG ANG TANGING STANDARD <333 but bc you truly are his mahal <333

"grabe, ang mahal namang mahalin ka......." (looks back at all the stuff he does for you) "......pero ang worth it talaga ng gastos ko if it means akin ka lang, mahal <333"

a/n: IN SHORT, PAV IS THE STANDARD, HE IS THE STANDARD <3333

[hermitknut]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@birdylion tagged me :D

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

56.

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

440,219

3. what fandoms do you write for?

There've been quite a few over the years. Currently Goblin Emperor (slightly on the back burner while I unkink my writer's block) and Hands of the Emperor (just started dabbling, nothing posted yet). Before that Merlin, Green Rider, Realm of the Elderlings, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter predominantly, with little dips into Discworld, Sherlock, Sweep, Supernatural, Percy Jackson, Lady Trent, Life on Mars, Old Kingdom, Life on Mars, and MASH. I have some Narnia stuff kicking about in my drafts somewhere, and while I've never posted it I've been writing Animorphs fanfic for years.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Stairs Beneath the Heart: Goblin Emperor, a series of vignettes that runs parallel to the canon that I posted through the start of the pandemic and really enjoyed. It was the first time in ages I'd had a regular posting schedule, and the first time ever I'd had that much fandom attention on something I was writing - everyone was so lovely <3.

Take These Tower Stones: Goblin Emperor, the sequel to the above, a much more coherent and consistent story which everyone was again really supportive of <3

What Friends Are For: Discworld; Angua gives Vetinari the shovel talk. There's a big disparity in the stats between the previous two fics and the rest, so these last three were a surprise to me! I'm glad people liked them though :)

Fire in the Night: Merlin, somewhat angsty nightmare/comfort oneshot. Again, surprised to see this one so near the top, but pleasantly so.

The Michen Emperor: Goblin Emperor again, currently the bane of my existence because I can't seem to finish it (I will eventually, just need to unstick my brain). Really appreciate all the love people have shown it. Basically, what if canon but with smol!Maia.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably either Take These Towers Stones, or Red Sky (which is a tiny little snippet of fluff).

8. do you get hate on fics?

I've had a few shitty comments, and mostly I've just deleted them. I've never had any extended hate campaigns or anything, just people who mistakenly thought their dislike was worth expressing.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally; usually though not always queer, normally pretty tame. I read smut usually without worrying about the warnings, but I'm a bit too shy to comment on it, and I think that extends to my writing, haha. Maybe I'll get the hang of it some day :)

10. do you write crossovers?

Nah, for some reason they don't work for me at all - almost a squick, I don't read them either. The closest I got was considering a fic where the characters from Green Rider had diplomatic contact with the characters from the Chronicles of Ixia series, but I never ended up getting there.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so - I should probably put in my Ao3 that people are welcome to if they like, I keep forgetting. I'd be honoured if anyone wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope; I'm very picky and not good at compromise, though it's something I'd like to work on one day. It'd have to be very low stakes and with someone very patient!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Lines of Silver and Gold (Realm of the Elderlings) is probably my oldest fic that is both posted and unfinished, and I have no current plans to work on it. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to come back to it, but that book series was my thesis topic and unfortunately I rather burnt myself out on it, so it might be a long while.

The Queen Rider series was originally going to have two more fics, but those have been scrapped; fortunately it resolves quite nicely as is. Maybe I will put up a little misc fic with what I do have of the rest some day.

And on a more positive note, my Animorphs fic - it was originaly going to be a full written-through story spanning a considerable post-canon period, but unfortunately I lost the original in a harddrive failure and while I rewrote some of it I rather lost my enthusiasm for it. However, I have been reconsidering lately and might post what exists as a series of loosely connected vignettes; we'll see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue is what I find easy and what I've received the most compliments on; I think this is because a lot of my fic is drafted "out loud" before I get anywhere near setting it to page, so the first iteration is often predominantly speech. I'm also often told I'm good at mimicking the tone of the canon, if I'm writing for a book fandom.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Research (I'll do it if it's something that will otherwise potentially hurt people, but other than that I have neither the effort nor the inclination), and making things messy - that is, I tend to tidy things up a lot and I'm not good at letting my characters get things wrong/communicate badly/etc. Good for fix-its, less good for creating challenges in the story.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am depressingly monolingual so I don't do it in my fics; as to what everyone else does I think they should have fun and do whatever they like, I suppose. Not enough knowledge to have more of an opinion than that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter was my gateway fandom.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ohhhh tough one. I'm immensely proud of the Keystone series (The Stairs Beneath the Heart and Take These Tower Stones), so they're solid candidates, but I also really like The Shadow of the Mountains (Lady Trent) and Miracles (Realm of the Elderlings), the latter of which contains possibly my favourite line of prose I've written.

I'm tagging @the-tao-of-fandom, @pipuhattar, @alittlefellowinawideworld, @nonasuch, and anyone else who'd like to answer!

[werepuppy-steve]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @devondespresso !!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

38! i've been trying to upload more tumblr ficlets, so hopefully it'll be double that by the end of the year!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

69,777

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stranger things, currently! but i've also written for naruto, bnha, and a few others

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

starry eyed love

the magic that we'll feel is worth the lifetime

capital p

constant, pleasure

misty taste of moonshine

(not that im not grateful but these have been my top 5 for the past two years, can we give some love to my other fics please 😭)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes! it takes me a little bit, but i will respond!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont think i have one? happy endings only in this house <3 but if i have to choose, strawberry wine probably has the most bittersweet ending

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably all of them lmao. like i said, happy endings only here.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i've only seriously started writing it last year, but yes! mainly pwp ft transmasc steve, but i hope i can get the courage/motivation to write longer stories that contain smut but aren't smut focused.

10. Do you write crossovers?

not currently

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so? i hope people would let me know if someone did

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i think it was on my previous ao3, but i can't remember which language it was translated in. portuguese, i think?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it'd be fun!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

currently it's steddie, but if you ask me to go back to my roots, it's sasunaru

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

all of them 😭 but i don't want to say that i'll never finish them. i might rework them into something different if the inspiration strikes me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

uuuuuhhhhhhhh. warm fuzzies? is that a correct answer?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

the part where you actually write the story

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

english is my only language, so it'd be a little difficult

19. First fandom you wrote for?

naruto

20. Favorite fic you've written?

when i think of favorite, i automatically think of magic, but my second favorite is probably she put her love down soft and sweet, just bc it's my first big proper smut fic and i worked really hard on it. but really all my fics are my favorite bc i put so much love and time into them <3

idk how many people you're supposed to tag for this ajfhajfjjs

@flowercrowngods @corrodedbisexual @steves-strapcollection @steddie-island @steviewashere

@thefreakandthehair @steddieas-shegoes @hotluncheddie @sidekick-hero @cuoredimuschio

[moreespressoformydepresso]

sometimes i think about like. what if. the tributes escape, they're running around, trying to get things together. and somehow they get caught. how, we don't know, but imagine a peacekeeper comes across them and has a choice to make. obviously peacekeepers can't have families, but they weren't born without them. this one peacekeeper, maybe wovey reminds him of his little sister. or hy reminds him of his first love, the one he never got to act on. or he's some fresh young recruit who feels like in another life, the likes of sheaf or otto or whoever could have been a friend.

and he lets them go.

even other capitol citizens. some socialite might be more privy to give facet and velvereen more leeway, after all, they're one of the 'good' districts, aren't they? or a shopkeeper lets mizzen or treech get away with stolen goods because they remind him of his kids. or hell, imagine one of them manages to find work, and the supervisor should have half a mind to report it, but teslee knows what she's doing and she's doing it better than the other suckers, it'd be stupid to report her, even if she *is* an escaped tribute. lots of little things build up over time. a story where 24 kids don't escape on their own, it takes a whole village to help them.

That’s beautiful I love it. I had ideas of like- the mentors maybe letting them go if they spot them or even actively helping them escape in some cases, but just random citizens? That’s honestly even better. Because to me, a big part of why so many Capitol citizens were okay with the games is because they had enough distance to it to not care. It’s a once a year thing they can ignore if they want, and they do. Just some district scum, right? So who cares? And when they’re in a literal cage it reinforces that distance. They’re not “like us”, so it’s okay. No need to spend time and emotional energy thinking about it. Especially after what they did to you during the war ten years ago!

But when you’ve spend years fighting with the belief that you’re protecting your people, and you used the image of scared dying Capitol children to fuel you, I imagine it hits so hard to look at a terrified child staring down the barrel you’ve got pointed at them. Maybe the peacekeeper had a realization that they are the monster they’ve been fighting. And in the split second that they realize convincing themself it’s not true isn’t gonna change anything, they let the tribute go.

Teslee and Circ are 100% better employees than anyone in that city. No rationalizing necessary it’s just basic business. And they don’t even ask for much, so it’s win win! Also they’re nice kids, it would suck to see them suffer or even die and if they go into the games only one can get out. So eh, might as well give them some basic necessities.

I think it would probably start with Velvereen and Facet. They are “the good ones” so if anyone’s gonna be let go it’s them. Maybe it gets filmed or something and it’s broadcast in an attempt to get Capitol citizens to look out for the tributes and tip off the peacekeepers. And that video makes the citizens go “oh well, at least it’s the good ones and not one of those backwards savages”. Except once you accept the notion that some of these kids are fine, that slowly starts to trickle over into your perception of the others. If the ones from 1 are fine, the ones from 2 are too right? Because those get lumped together a lot since they’re more well fed. And the boy from 2 is pretty similar to the ones from 11 and 12 so maybe those districts aren’t too bad either. And if the girl from 11 isn’t so bad, well she’s like the tributes from 8 and the boy from 4. And the girl from 12 is a performer like the boy from 7 (actor/performer Treech supremacy). Soon enough the network is complete and we’ve got all the tributes being noted as kind of okay, maybe. So when a clearly starved child steals food, well the shopkeeper didn’t really need that lost income. They can miss it, so it’s not worth the energy to even report. And it slowly escalates from there until we have a district-sympathizer Capitol.

[anonymous-badger-238]

30 questions

I'm just gonna answer a few questions again. Found this from @nuklearis-sutotok at here.

Ok so here we go

1: What song makes you feel better?

Superhero by Guiano

2: What is your go-to comfort show?

Abbott Elementary probably. It's really funny.

3: Reading or writing? Why?

Huh that's hard I like both

4: What's your favorite feeling?

That feeling when you come home from a long day of school and swim practice, and after you shower you can just flop down on your bed and relax

5: How do you like to take care of yourself?

Idk I like brushing my hair and doing skincare and stuff, but in a "mental" kind of way it'd definitely be making covers and music videos.

6: What’s your favorite candle scent?

That pear one I bought for 20 dollars at a World Market because there was a huge Black Friday sale

7: Who do you feel most like yourself around?

My IRL friend group, and also these people in this one Discord server (there are like 4 of you who know what I'm talking about)

8: What's a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Sequins. Reminds me of when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade and there was this whole trend where all the girls would show up in "flip shirts".

9: Best childhood moment?

Wow there are so many but it's hard to choose just 1. Probably when I rode Splash Mountain at Disney World for the first time. I was eight and me and my dad had to wait two hours but it was soooo worth it.

10: When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

This one time I was crying over something so my sister showed me funny pictures of politicians and then I laughed so hard I cried again.

11: Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

This one infinity cube that I fidget with whenever I'm bored or doing homework.

12: What calms you down?

Just closing my eyes and resting on my bed on a Saturday morning and just not thinking about anything in particular. Of course there are those four months of the year where my relaxation will be interrupted by the sounds of the college football games on TV...

13: Bath or shower to relax?

My house doesn't even have a bathtub so I'm gonna have to go with showers. Particularly cold showers.

14: What's something upcoming that you’re excited for?

I'll be going on vacation soon.

15: Comfort food?

Fettuccine Alfredo with Costco's rotisserie chicken.

16: What's something you want to create soon?

I have a ridiculous amount of music videos I have to create. But I'm looking forward to doing the Alvarez/Mental Chainsaw one.

17: How do you feel best loved?

I don't know honestly.

18: What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Probably when I'm 30 or something.

19: Have you ever written or received a love letter?

LOL nope

20: Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

The Splash Mountain one definitely but also that one time me and my family were going river tubing and then it started pouring so I vlogged it.

21: Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Coffee probably. My usual is a strawberry creme frappe from Starbucks. (Plus a donut.)

22: Name of your favorite playlist?

The Blaze-List. For reference, that is the one I created a really long time ago and I still update it to include my current favorite songs. No wonder.

23: Have you ever received flowers?

I don't remember.

24: Who is your best friend?

This one person I met in fourth grade, lost touch with, and then got back in touch with again

25: If your soul was a color, what would it be?

Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that out.

26: If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

I'd like to live in downtown Seattle with my sister. DC would be great too.

27: Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

I just don't seem to have a green thumb LOL.

28: What are you proudest of?

This one paper I spent a really long time working on. Or my cover of Amanojaku which I'm really happy with the way it turned out.

29: Are you a kind person?

I don't know. I try to be kind to people whenever I can, though.

30: What do your hobbies look like?

Reading especially about WWII/Cold War history and nuclear chemistry, writing short stories, singing, making music videos, playing Pokemon, etc. etc. etc.

Anyways I guess I should ping someone but whatever

[autobot-ratchet]

Lost Light 7-9

Lost Light 7

oh good, so someone did tell Rung about the functionist universe version of himself. “Yeah man you grew a hundred feet tall and punched the moon, it was wild”

jfdks Rodimus just gleefully swinging Skip's corpse around like a ragdoll

Drift's got an interesting perspective on Megatron's absence. I wonder if that's how he personally felt about his presence, I'm sure he must've felt a million different things about being commanded by him again

oofjhd Cyclonus, you gotta speak up, all the way up, he keeps trying and losing his nerve...

Velocity, please don't call it the F.U. LmAO

poor Minimus is going through it too, he's got a moment to finally realize and reflect upon the fact that he actually does like Megatron, despite everything

“You're an inspiration,” she says... she's already got the idea in her head.........

“Discuss this? Since when have we discussed anything?” oof ouch ougfhjdk he's right though... on the other hand he's doing the exact same shit Cyclonus was, he is absolutely trying to push Cyclonus away to protect him without telling him why, Tailgate is just as fuckin bad at communicating as Cyclonus and it hurts

uuuUUUGH I FORGOT HE TRIES TO GIVE CYCLONUS'S INNERMOST ENERGON BACK... he's really trying to break it off completely, he really wants Cyclonus away from him so he doesn't rip him apart in his sleep........

absolutely love this fucking conversation between Magnus and Rodimus, just going over the full spectrum of ways to feel about Megatron, and they're all correct. And Roddy is a lot more observant than anyone gave him credit for, he knows Magnus, knows what he needs to get back up on his feet, so to speak lmAO god what a good bit of dialogue

oh, Cyclonus, honey........ and Whirl, being a good friend for him aaaaudgfhsjghjdfk

gOD fudgfhfghdjk the fact that Tailgate has the vial of Cyclonus's innermost energon in his hand while he's in the radiation chamber fuck my LIFE

damn Fangry was really gonna put Tailgate in the ground for another six million years, fuck you dude

this was another thing that tested my faith in the comic lmfAO I don't think I ever thought this was the last we'd see of Tailgate necessarily, but I was scared that was the end of Cygate lmAO I was scared that by the time Tailgate became relevant again, Cyclonus would have started moving on and would stay away from Tailgate out of respect for his feelings/fear of reopening that old wound and never find out he was stuck underground

Lost Light 8

“Tell me your name. I want to worship you like a god,” is still such a wild fuckin thing to say to someone you just met

“The Mederi Center?!” the HUH??? I REMEMBER THAT NAME THAT'S THE NAME OF THE PLACE

love this girls day out to the shady-ass marketplace

honestly I love how much crime Anode does she's so valid lmAO

oof man poor Nautica is going through it, and she's making poor Velocity go through it too

I talked about it a little bit before but god Anode explaining why she's a she now is still so good, it's a good way to explain her process without having to get into nitty-gritty gender discourse lmAO and like. Good, she shouldn't have to get into it, if you get it you get it and if you don't that's fine just use the she pronouns for her, that's all it takes

Lost Light 9

man... Nautica just misses her man, she saw a chance to get him back and she took it, she figured it'd all be worth dealing with all this skeeviness

oh oof ouch, low blow Nautica, don't do Velocity like that

fghdsjk Anode really just said “Hey I've got something for you, it's mY FIST BITCH HIYAH” and she fuckin hurt herself doing it god I love her lmAO

LOVE this conversation between Nautica and Velocity, love them being forced to lay all their cards out on the table like this, love that Nautica going through with this is a dealbreaker for Velocity

“This is where you stand aside.” “This is where you make me.” TELL EEEEMMMMMMMM granted she gets immediately disarmed but sTILL I RESPECT THE ENERGY

oof yeah this was another moment that tested my faith. In fact, it tested me the hardest, this almost made me drop the comic lmAO I just couldn't deal with Nautica surgically removing her feelings for Skids, it felt like it cheapened the impact of his death, and at the time, I couldn't imagine it having any relevance to any future arcs or plot points. I was fully under the impression that this was only about further solidifying the bond between Nautica and Velocity and I didn't like that the effect Skids's death had on Nautica was completely eliminated in order to do that. Of course now I know that this moment is a surprise tool that helps us later, but at the time, I actively disliked this issue and that was the first time the comic had ever made me feel that way, so that plus all the naysayers on my dash and in the tags got me dangerously close to deciding they were right. So glad I didn't lmAO I'm very glad I stuck with it and I can now read this issue without feeling awful

speaking of surprise tools that will help us later, what's good Epistemus lmAO

[violet-phoenix-nebula]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

65

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

325,309

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: primarily Supernatural

Past: MCU, Harry Potter, Twilight, Divergent, Hunger Games, House M.D.,

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

1. Disillusioned

Twilight, Bella/Carlisle, incomplete & on indefinite hiatus

2. Common Courtesy

Captain America, Steve/Bucky

3. Love Isn't All That It Seems (I've Been Sleepwalking)

Supernatural, [ship omitted out of respect for others]

4. The More That You Say, The Less I Know

Supernatural, Castiel/Dean

5. Plants Awoke and They Slowly Grow (Beneath the Skin)

Supernatural, Castiel/Dean Winchester

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to respond to all of them, though sometimes I miss an email and it takes me forever.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Going with only completed works, I'd say it'd be one of these two:

Knives In My Heart - Divergent, Eric/Tris, MCD

They're Burning All The Witches (Even If You Aren't One) - Captain America/MCU, Steve/Bucky, rape/non-con

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh god, honestly most of my works have happy endings, and a few with more open/ambiguous endings, so really there's no way to pick one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

People seem more courteous now, but I used to all the time. I tend to add some kind of snarky iteration of "don't like, don't read" on most of my controversial ones now, but my ships have definitely gotten me hate.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, though I just call it porn. I'm in spitting distance of 30. I call it what it is. And I'd say I'm pretty good at it, overall.

10. Do you write cross-overs?

Not full on, no. I've had a crossover moment or hint before, but full crossover fics, no. I'd like to experiment with it someday, but not right now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I'm 99% sure I have at least once, I know I've gotten at least one comment asking to. I never followed up on it though. Maybe I should.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kind of? Though it was more a meshing of ideas and getting so much input from the other person that I credited them as a co-author, not them literally typing part of the fic.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Stucky (Steve/Bucky, Captain America/MCU) is my absolute OTP, forever and always. I have a few ships I love, but they're my #1. They're also one of, if not the only ship that's not problematic in any way, shape or form.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Sadly, most of them. I started posting chapters as soon as I wrote them and then my hyperfixation for the pairing/fandom passed, and I lost all motivation. If I ever did a multi chapter WIP again, I'd probably get most or all of it written before I started posting it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Definitely explicit material, porn, smut, whatever you want to call it. I've improved in the last few years for sure, and I know there's better than me out there, but I do pretty well.

I think I write well overall. There are some people who write and they have fantastic ideas but it just doesn't flow, and that's not a problem I've ever had.

I'm fantastic at one shots. I can write something short and sweet and tie it right up. Most of my work is under 10k.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I cannot write anything long worth a damn. My only longer works are unfinished, I completely lose steam. I currently have an AU in mind that I desperately want to write, but my history with abandoning multi chapter fics is scaring me away from starting it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I only speak English, so I don't. I used to try, until I was told that google translate sucks, so then I swapped to putting the English in italics.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh god, I have to go to FFN for this. Though before I actually joined any fanfic sites I sat down and wrote an alternate ending for the Twilight short story about Bree Tanner in a notebook, that was before I knew fanfic even existed. As far as posted works, it appears to be Hunger Games and Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Definitely All I Feel As I Get Closer To You, absolutely no contest. It's a Supernatural fic, Dean/Castiel set in season 10, at 9.2k words.

@aaronthe8thdemon is the only one I know for a fact writes fic regularly that I can think of off the top of my head, but I'll informally tag anyone who wants to participate.

[solitaire-sol]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Big thanks to @mycupofrum and @lovelymasks for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

29, though all but one are 500-word microfics so it's not that impressive.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

17,377... which is pretty on-par, given the above.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment, I'm only actively writing and posting Harry Potter fics, though I've written more widely in the past, for many and varied fandoms. Most of it went unpublished, though.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

All but one are oneshot microfics, and all are Prongfoot, of course. None of them have done big numbers, but I cherish every little heart!

this universe of you and me (we'll make ourselves inevitable) [45]

10. Diamond [41]

21. Deprive [25]

22. Lineage [22]

10. Hope [22]

5. Do you respond to comments?

Every comment! I might take a while, depending on how things are going for me, but I don't get a lot so the ones I have are extra-precious. As a commenter, I love it when the author responds so I know I'm not annoying them with my comment, so that's a factor, too.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Um... I guess the second bonus epilogue to 05. North? Since it leads into the canon path for Sirius, which is, as we know, not his best possible timeline.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm going to go with 16. Cultivate, because it's just kid!Prongsfoot and strongly-implied mutual crushes and nothing bad happens to them after this, okay?? we can pretend, dammit

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, though that's probably due to audience size + wordcount, so not much room to offend or people to be offended. Silver linings!

9. Do you write smut?

Yes! But none that I've published. It's good enough for me, but I don't know if anyone else would like it, and then: Self doubt! Preemptive cringe! And I don't post it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not in a "characters from Thing A meet characters from Thing B" way, but I've done some yet-to-be-published microfics that take HP characters (mostly James and Sirius, obviously) and put them in other settings, like Madoka Magica or Pacific Rim. So... Yes, I guess?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge! Honestly, I think I'd be kind of flattered that anyone would consider my writing worth stealing.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge! Although, like the above, it'd be very flattering if it ever happened.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not unless prose-style roleplaying counts as fanfiction! I'd be interested in trying it, but I have no idea how it would go.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

James/Sirius, Sirius/James, Prongsfoot, Bambibelle, by any other name, they're my overall favorite ship with 99.9% certainty.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

... Anything that's more than a oneshot, yes. It's so much easier to imagine the perfect fic and watch it play out like a mind-movie rather than hauling it out of my brainpan like a deep-sea fisherman wrestling a trophy marlin onto dry land, all typed and edited and posted despite second/third/more thoughts.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like descriptions and scene-setting and lore/worldbuilding, and I've been told that I'm pretty decent at this, so I'd say those? The fact that I've written a lot of microfics without any dialogue whatsoever probably says a lot.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue! Especially in HP, because the intricacies of British English and years of seeing British/Commonwealth opinions on Americans failing to write British characters (in fanfiction, specifically) has me too anxious to try. I have so many modern Prongsfoot ideas that I can't bring myself to attempt due to this, leaving them to rot like fallen leaves in the orchard of my imagination. More generally, I'm terrible at longfics or anything that requires extended effort because the number of spoons I have is variable but usually rounds up to "too few." Then I feel bad because I haven't been writing, etc etc, which is why I've only published microfics.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I don't have any problem with it if it fits; I got really into Poe in middle school and he loves throwing in random non-English quotes without translating it, so I can't begrudge anyone who does it now. I only speak/write in English so that's the language my fics are in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon. It was based on my first-ever playthrough of Pokemon Blue, but with the "Red" MC replaced by a pseudo-self-insert who spent most of the fic disguised as a boy/her own deceased twin brother whose soul was somehow inside of her for... some reason. (Note: I don't have a twin brother.) I wouldn't learn what fanfiction was for at least a few more years, but I'm pretty sure that was my first.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I once did a novelization of an obscure JRPG that rewrote huge chunks of the game, improved characterization, closed plot holes and fixed the terrible English translation, as well as expanding the world and lore. It had an actual physical folder dedicated to all my notes and I had plans for an even bigger sequel. Sadly, I only posted the first chapter before my computer died and I lost everything on it (back up your work, kids!), and I subsequently lost most of my notes in a move. I'm not sure if this is a subconscious contributor to why I've only written short-form things since then, but I have fond if wistful feelings about it anyway-- Like my fanfic lost Lenore.

[greatideas-badwriter]

Worth The Risk: Chapter 8

"What did you do to that girl?" Itachi hissed at his younger brother as he helped him upstairs and into his room so he could rest. "She looked like she was waiting to be hit! Tell me you haven't been-" "I haven't laid a hand on her."

Sasuke was angry enough at himself for intimidating that poor woman to the point that she all but cowered before him in the kitchen just then; he didn't need Itachi to join in.

"Then why did she act like that?"

The younger sibling sighed, standing with a hand on his forehead to rub his temples with a furrowed brow and a frown, "I haven't touched her, but I haven't been…treating her all that well…either…."

There was a long pause before the recovering man asked, "What's going through your head right now?"

'Itachi's the only one I can tell about this. Anyone else might try to use it against me.'

So, Sasuke told his older brother everything. He explained how confused Sakura made him feel and how his perception of her had changed after last night. He even admitted his regrets: "You saw how scared she is of me. I don't know how to make it…better, y'know?"

"You understand little about forming true bonds with someone."

The younger brother nodded but said nothing. He didn't want to say anything because the topic of how Itachi knew about such things might arise. You see, he was twenty-eight, six years older than Sasuke, and had married his high school sweetheart, Izumi, at twenty. The woman was no longer among the living, and the fact would likely forever be a sore topic for both Uchiha brothers.

'Don't dwell on that right now. It'll only get you worked up.'

"I don't want to form any bonds with Sakura, and you know why. That's the problem. How do I do this without letting it get to that?"

Itachi frowned but understood. After pondering, he sighed, "You want to figure out why she's different, right?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Then maybe you should try being her friend. Plenty of people try hooking up and return to being just friends."

The younger brother crossed his arms, leaning against the dresser with a glare, "I don't have female friends."

"There's a first time for everything. Just get to know her a little better."

After receiving a little more advice from Itachi, Sasuke left so he could rest, wandering back downstairs to work on his school assignments in the kitchen while Sakura cooked. It'd become normal for them to be in the same room because it made her feel safer, and the Uchiha man didn't mind anyway. Even if she still feared him, she did so the others to a more substantial degree.

Upon noticing his arrival, the woman clicked off the video on her phone she'd been watching while cooking, pointedly refusing to look his way. Sasuke sat there, his laptop open and an assignment pulled up to work on, but he couldn't stop glancing at Sakura every few seconds.

'I bet her parents taught her to cook while growing up.' Everything the woman prepared for the Akatsuki house was delicious, never bland or improperly cooked.

He watched as she placed a lid over the pot of whatever she was preparing and froze. It was evident she had nothing left to do but let it simmer but didn't know what to do since his gaze was on her.

So, Sasuke averted his eyes to the laptop screen but decided to take Itachi's advice and try actually talking to the woman, "How's your hand?"

"It's fine," she paused before asking, "Would you like a drink?"

The man looked up to see her gazing into the fridge with a pout. Smirking, he said, "Only if you'll have one with me."

Though hesitant, Sakura opened two beers, sitting beside him and handing one over. He lifted a brow at the poorly masked disgust on her face but said nothing, 'Why drink it if you don't like it? Fucking weirdo.'

"I'm sorry about earlier, with your brother. I couldn't tell what you wanted, so I panicked."

"Don't do that anymore." Sasuke cringed. The words left his mouth before he could stop them.

'I wanted to carefully approach that topic, but I just came out and said it.'

"What?"

Sighing, he glared at his laptop screen, not really seeing it, "You don't have to get my permission to talk if someone else is speaking to you and stop cowering like I'll hit you or something. People are getting the wrong idea."

"Oh," she said softly, "I thought you wanted me to-" "You thought I wanted you to stop mouthing off like you used to? Don't be dumb. Why do you think I hired you? It's more fun when you fight back."

'Damn, I sure am on a roll with saying things too bluntly. She's probably confused as hell. …Fuck it.'

Sakura looked as baffled as he expected when he finally looked at her face. She frowned, pretty green eyes narrowed suspiciously, "I didn't come here to have fun. I came here so I wouldn't have to sleep on the streets, and so I'd have a steady source of income."

'That is so like her.'

Sasuke smirked, tilting his head and feeling a little less tense since she responded honestly because she hadn't in more than two weeks, "This isn't the type of job where you have to keep work and play separate, y'know." The pink-haired woman blushed prettily, sending a wave of satisfaction through him.

She struggled to respond, so he added, "Just don't mouth off to anyone but me, or it'll be bad. Got it?"

Her confusion was still intense, but she cautiously nodded, "If you're just saying all this because of last night, you don't have to. That's not why I helped Itachi."

"I know, Sakura," his smirk fell as did the light-hearted aura, "Listen well because I won't fucking repeat it."

His eyes narrowed on her before he groaned and averted them to the computer again. Being honest with people about his feelings was very out of character, so he found it difficult, but he had to at least try, "I didn't realize it until last night, but I've obviously been putting you on edge all this time. I'm trying to give you a damn apology, okay?"

Sakura took her time coming up with a response, "I accept, but, um…if you're saying this because you're hoping I'll, uh…."

"It's not like I'm gonna fucking force myself on you, so relax. What kinda guy do you take me for?" He met her eye again, glancing at the kitchen doorway to ensure no one was eavesdropping, "Just…. Talk more and cry less, and I'll be less of a dick. Deal?"

To his surprise, a small but cute grin met her lips, and she nodded, getting up from the table to stir whatever was cooking on the stove, "Deal."

'This is….unexpected.'

Sakura was currently in the kitchen with Tobi, making all kinds of Christmas treats. Her brow twitched in annoyance as the man spoke about who-knows-what without end. The event at the house this evening is a holiday party, something the woman never expected to encounter around such serious and stoic people.

Sasuke was out working, or so he said, and Itachi was sitting at the dining table reading a book with a blanket over his shoulders as he continued to recover from his bullet wound. "Tobi, can I ask you something?"

She'd had it. Her patience had run thin, and she was millimeters away from losing her cool.

The bubbly man-child faced her, a comically frilly apron over his clothing, "What is it, Sakura? Do you need help with the cider?"

"I, um, well…." She feigned being bashful, surprising even herself with her acting, "I'm ashamed to ask, but there's no one else I can count on. Is it okay?"

The black-haired man's eyes lit up, and he nodded excitedly. Of all the people in this house, he was the only one she felt she could successfully manipulate.

"I'm embarrassed, but can you run to the store and buy me some," she lowered her voice to a whisper, even putting a hand up to her mouth as though trying to block Itachi from overhearing, "lady products?"

A blush met Tobi's cheeks, and he sputtered, "C-Can't you go get them? I don't wanna."

Sakura pouted, "I would, but Sasuke said I have to stay with Itachi, and he's not able to leave the house in his condition. I'm really sorry, but can you please do me this favor? I'll owe you!"

Tobi groaned childishly, taking off his apron and stomping out of the kitchen, "If anyone makes fun of me, I'm blaming you!"

"Thank you! This means a lot to me!" She called softly after him, grinning with a sigh once he was out of earshot.

"I thought he'd never leave. I was beginning to develop a headache," Itachi mused, giving the girl the slightest hint of a smile when she looked at him in shock.

'I totally forgot he was in here! He won't tell Sasuke about this, will he?' Sakura paused, taking back her words, 'No, I don't care if he does. Sasuke said he wanted me to stop being so submissive. I'll yell at him if he says something to me about it.'

Turning back to the stove, she hummed to herself while stirring the cider again. Truth be told, the woman loves the holiday season. The lights, music, and cheerful aura made her feel warm and nostalgic for her childhood years spent celebrating with her grandparents.

Sakura wanted to make cookies, cider, and gingerbread houses but thought even asking to do such a thing by herself would be frowned upon here, so she hadn't. When Sasuke led her into the kitchen and told her her duties this morning, she couldn't hide her elation. The man seemed to find it funny, making some off-handed comments about how she really was a woman, after all.

"Will you be visiting your family for the holiday next weekend?" Itachi asked, not looking up from his book.

"Actually, no. I…."

He looked up when she struggled to formulate a believable lie.

She panicked, spitting out the first thing that came to mind, "I don't have anyone to go back to."

It wasn't a complete falsehood. Her parents knew what her ex had put her through. They found out soon after she moved in with the man and came running home weeks later with a black eye.

'They didn't do a thing about it. No, they told me I shouldn't have angered him like I had. That it was my fault.'

A few more times over the years, the woman had tried asking them for help, even so much as loaning her the money to get a restraining order, but nothing came of it. They were the last people she saw in Konoha before leaving. It'd been her final attempt to make them see reason, and it failed. She vowed after that that she was an orphan because no real parent could watch their only child suffer for four years without lifting a finger.

'I know why they said and did all those things, but that doesn't excuse it. If they needed my help, I would've done everything possible, no matter the cost.'

Her family is as poor as poor comes and always has been. When she was two or three, her father invested almost all of his life savings, including his retirement fund, into a company that a financial advisor recommended. You can probably guess how that ended up.

So, when her ex-boyfriend came along, hailing from an abundantly wealthy family, they urged her to accept his invitation to live together right out of high school. It'd be cheaper on them because they'd no longer have to cover living expenses for her, and the man paid their mortgage every month as a sign of respect.

'Yeah, that's what he called it, but really, he was bribing them to keep their mouths shut if and when I came home for help. It worked, too.'

"Sakura? Are you alright? I'm sorry if my question made you uncomfortable. I won't bring it up again."

She snapped out of her daze, waving a dismissive hand and facing the stove again so he couldn't see how pale her face had gotten, "No, it's my fault for spacing out. You did nothing wrong."

"Holidays are painful for me, too. There's no need to deny it when we're the only ones here," he said with a sad expression.

'He's a completely different person from his brother. I wonder why that is.'

"You can, um, tell me about it if you want, but you definitely don't have to if you're not comfortable."

"Come, sit."

Sakura poured them each a small cup of the freshly made apple cider and sat across from him at the table.

He looked into the mug with a faraway stare as he began speaking, "I was married before. I'm not sure if you knew that."

The woman's eyes widened, "I had no idea!"

"Yes. Her name was Izumi. We met in middle school and became best friends. We confessed to each other on the day we graduated high school, dated for a few years, and married when we were twenty."

"That's really sweet," Sakura commented, but she didn't say anything else because Itachi had used the word "was", meaning Izumi was no longer his wife or had passed away, both being complex discussion topics. 'I'm not sure why he's sharing this with me, but it makes me a little happy that at least one person in this house is opening up.'

"As you've probably guessed, my wife died. We were both twenty-two at the time." 'I knew it,' Sakura thought sadly. She bravely reached across the table to rest a comforting hand atop his. He gave her a grateful smile, continuing with his story, "On Christmas Eve that year, we were on the wrong side of town, and I left her in the car while I ran a quick errand."

'I don't like where this is going.'

"It was less than five minutes, but a shooting occurred in my absence, and my wife was hit with a stray bullet."

Tearing up, the woman shook her head, averting her eyes to their hands because he probably didn't want to be stared at when sharing something so gut-wrenching, "I am so sorry."

The room fell into silence for a moment before Itachi took a deep breath and tried to lighten the mood, "Well, that's my reason for having a love-hate relationship with the holidays. I thought maybe if I shared it, you'd feel more comfortable sharing yours."

Sakura was surprised by his honesty but released his hands and tilted her head, suddenly having the urge to flee, "I'm grateful to you for being so open, but I…. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet. I'm sorry."

The man smiled, surprising her, "Don't apologize. It's my fault for trying to guilt-trip you into it. Sometimes I can be too nosy."

So, the woman returned to preparing the holiday treats, and soon, festive serving trays were loaded with expertly iced cookies and pastries. Apple cider, both spiked and un-spiked, was heated up and ready to be enjoyed. The house was spotless, thanks to its new housekeeper.

After setting down the final try on the coffee table in the den, Sakura jumped in surprise when Konan addressed her in an elegant, black party dress.

'She looks incredible. I wonder if I'll ever have a body like that,' she tried not to ogle at the blue-haired woman's curves but found it challenging.

"Very important guests will soon begin arriving. I've prepared an outfit for you to wear. Go upstairs and change into it. Do your hair and makeup as well. Join me as soon as you're finished, and do nothing to misrepresent this household. Do you understand?"

Sakura was too afraid to argue, so she quickly nodded and went upstairs into the bathroom, where a garment bag hung from the back of the door. Locking it, she unzipped the bag, only to pale when she lay eyes on a cute red dress.

'I'm relieved! I half-expected her to force me into a revealing outfit. Then everyone would see my scars, and I'd be humiliated!'

The dress came to the mid-thigh, flaring out at the hips into elegant waves of fabric. Its shade was darker, complimenting the pastel of her hair and the paleness of her skin attractively. It was rather low cut in the front, coming down into a "v" between her breasts, but she didn't mind that as much as she would've if it was backless. A pair of velvety red pumps were also in the bag.

After putting on the holiday-inspired outfit, Sakura put her hair in loose curls and donned makeup that suited the occasion and the rest of her appearance. All in all, she actually felt kind of pretty.

'I haven't worn makeup since the night Sasuke, and I almost hooked up because I don't own any.' She pursed her lips in the mirror, making sure the matte-red lipstick wasn't smudged or on her teeth, 'It was nice of Konan to let me borrow all of this. I'll have to thank her later.'

No matter how down a woman gets, sometimes taking time to dress up and take care of oneself can be a real mood booster. It sure lifted Sakura's spirits after becoming sad because of Itachi's wife's story.

After spritzing a dash of perfume onto her wrists and neck, the woman took a calming, deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with Sasuke, "Oh!"

They both took a step back in surprise. The man's eyes roamed over her appearance, his jaw flexed and tense, but he didn't say a word.

'Why do I feel shy all of a sudden?'

"Sorry, I'm done in here. Go ahead."

She stepped around the man so he could use the restroom, but he stopped her with a hand on her wrist. Turning to look at him, her pulse skyrocketed.

Sasuke searched her face with a strange, serious expression, going as far as slightly leaning down so their eye lines would be the same height, "Don't leave my sight tonight, no matter what. I mean it."

Swallowing her nerves, Sakura blushed and looked at his burgundy dress shirt because it made breathing easier than if she met his gaze, "Konan told me to find her as soon as I'm dressed. Should I wait for you instead?"

The man paused before making a negative sound deep in his chest, "No, go ahead. I'll find you in a bit. Don't go off with anyone alone."

Sakura nodded, looking into his eyes again. They shared a silent communication that the people visiting were dangerous. He needed her to listen to everything he said tonight, and she needed him to be someone she could trust not to let anything bad happen. Then the pair parted, him releasing her wrist.

The woman placed her cold palms on her heated cheeks, a soft, high-pitched groan leaving her lips as she tried to shake off the warmth in her body, 'He's never looked at me like that before. Is it because he's worried I'll get hurt tonight? I should stop freaking out about the look in his eye and focus on where I'm going.'

Closing her eyes at the top of the staircase, Sakura said a silent prayer, 'If there's a god out there listening, please let tonight go smoothly.'

[claudiajcregg]

S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!

Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)

I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)

The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)

Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)

This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.

For more irrelevant details on the “process”…

As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.

It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.

(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)

But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)

But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.

[ichnoviriform]

i really should do a bunch more short courses to learn things i spend so much time brooding over not knowing how to do, like basic coding, bass lessons, language like japanese n arabic.. i never end up signing up bc i could spend the money in better ways like donating it but like, then i just stay miserable n upset w myself for wasting so many years

like, i'm 27 n still fucking around basically, maybe finally in jan i'll start this pathology cert to get a job, but i'm still somewhat depressed over not being able to go to uni.. like, i wanna get my microbiology phd yknow.. but also i think i'd hate academia n would rather be doing tangible "useful" stuff like physical work, but instead i've spent the last like 8 yrs dragging out these tafe courses n getting nowhere it feels. so much time's wasted.

i'm somewhat able to accept writing off my teen years bc i was Going Through It but age 20-27 i just feel like a failure. yeah yeah i only JUST got the adhd diagnosis n i've been making slow progress despite just constantly getting hit w bullshit. but man. i wanna feel hopeful for age 30-50 as things coming together n finally feeling like a person, but 1) idk which person i want to be (baker, microbiologist, pathologist, artist..) 2) all my health anxieties make it likely i won't live to 80 lol... i'll be glad of the decades i get n i should aim for them to be Fulfilled. i'm just paralyzed by anxiety basically

anyway back to my orig thought: the pathology cert is like $2k n my dad's helping me pay for it which i already feel bad about but. it'll get me stable work. i shld use my savings on some short courses, i'm medicated now, maybe i won't drop out like i always have before. maybe this time can be different.

money's such a stressor, i feel so guilty for the failed courses my dad paid for. he's always said he's happy 2 pay for me bc it's just money but he's struggling n whole family's always struggling.. free resources aren't really enough for me bc i need feedback, i need people around me to keep me accountable to keep studying. so it'd be worth it.

i've spent so many years being annoyed over how little language practice i've done..i shld just take a damn course.

the alternative is staying mad at myself n probably picking up smoking again or something stronger, n bro hard drugs r too much of a money sink, at least w lessons i could play bass better. or code a game.