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#it'd have a degree.
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I had 1 (one) good day of like 'oh yeah, I'm a human and I know how to talk to people' and immediately after it was followed by my brain doing it's Shit.
#dear brain- shut the fuck up#'Kris why do you consider yourself the craziest person in any room you're physically in'#because most of those people don't have hallucinations and delusions.#they don't hear voices.#they don't dissociate so hard that they lose grip on reality#they don't cry because they're not sure if something is real or not and because they know the fact that they're questioning it...#whether or not it is a delusion or a hallucination- or really their the fact that they're questioning reality at all is bad#I say 'I believe xyz and I know it's not real' and people think that's Well Adjusted of me#or they're not sure what it means to believe something and know it can't be real#but it's how I have to live because trying to keep my foot too firmly in either door#the delusion isn't real. or that it doesn't exist at all-#caused me so much distress when I was younger#but sometimes. sometimes I open my mouth and a new delusion comes out and I only know I've been delusional based off of the horror#or confusion on people's faces#and because I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now#and I don't run in Mad Pride circles anymore#and I make sure I get enough sleep and I make sure I get enough to eat and I stop and I breathe and I make sure I get movement#I do All The Healthy Things just to have a fucking base line that allows me to mask#because I couldn't always.#and do you know how much I fucking hate that i have to do *so* much just to still believe there's a siren living in the train station#and that sometimes I can't take the train home because I know i'm not strong enough to avoid her song#but if I said that outloud everyone would just think I was writing poetry again#look at the metaphor- it's a little on the nose don't you think?#I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now. Did my time in the white rooms and the couches. If my therapized self was a human- it'd have graduated#it'd have a degree.#I guess in many ways... it does.
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leroibobo · 10 months
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really do not think people understand the extent to which palestinian sites/landmarks (especially muslim ones) were destroyed, beginning in 1948 until now, even in cities. the oldest extant mosque in jaffa (al-bahr mosque) was built in 1675, even though islam came there in the 7th century
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hakusins · 1 day
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tw // blood red water, slight nudity
There stands the root of all the world's corruption, the seed of ruin - Auriga
Pose reference under the cut!
Fate Grand Order Durga's Final Ascension Art
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eating-figs-here · 17 days
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Shoutout to the uh. Three other people who enjoy platonic Traveler/Wanderer. Anyways. This is an excuse to post low quality paper drawings that I did while procrastinating school work.
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The power of not wanting to do work.. where was this motivation during the summer...
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abacus051601 · 15 days
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barking
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lynn-tged-posting · 3 months
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something i've been learning again and again recently is that tged has absolutely wonderful reaction image material
i've been using these on my priv twitter account and it has been VERY fun scrolling back and seeing them,,, they work so well
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like theyre so silly,,, they fit so well,,, i can use them in any situation,,, and the art expresses it perfectly,,,
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they,,, may have replaced my tmnt ones
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if i had the storage space i absolutely would go through the webtoon again to get fun screenshots for reaction image purposes,,, alas i do not so i will just use the ones i take every now and then
i love the art in tged so so much im so glad i read this webtoon
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crimescrimson · 4 months
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T-Veronica Infused Steve Burnside in Resident Evil: Code Veronica X (2000)
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readingloveswounds · 2 months
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disappointing! will update my advisor in the morning
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kyouka-supremacy · 6 months
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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vivienna-vivid · 1 year
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Eden DoL enjoyers wanting some comfortable fluff with him.
Me, I want to 1v1 him in the woods at night with the moon high up. Stockholm Syndrome only goes so far, my PC needs to vent out her frustrations with him.
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pitske · 5 months
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Here be monsters again
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agueforts · 25 days
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i wonder, if i ever met a dropout watcher irl and somehow managed to not drop a reference anywhere in my time around them and so they wouldn't know i watched anything from it, how fast they would catch onto me from my speech patterns, or how fast they would realize in retrospect where all these things come from upon finding out. or like, alternatively, someone getting to know me irl and then being introduced to dropout, and suddenly having a frame of reference for like. what a lot of my speaking habits are probably modeled after. does it show that i watch dropout? do i talk like a good percentage of the audible conversation i am exposed to in my daily life comes from one streaming platform? would love to know. would truly love to know
#aspen tag#it really is like. like.#there is only so much of sentence delivery you can convey online and i STILL think i'm noticable out here#but like. in my head? just fucking thinking my thoughts?#i will look back in on myself like a hall of mirrors and go “oh i am putting emphasis on this sentence exactly like brennan does”#or “oh i am doing this thing to make people laugh that i picked up from aabria”#i straight up like do not see ppl irl often or rlly even like talk to people out loud with my mouth all that much#bc not all the friends i have online rlly vc and i'm also not always awake when they do#or i'll be like bouncing around between discord and watching something and i don't catch that they're on until they're not doing it anymore#and . ..... this is a rheka voice. is what i'm doing as i'm thinking this#sorry. anyways. back on track#i don't have a job i'm not in school i have like ... just started a hobby but i haven't really connected with anyone there yet etc#the people i have conversations out loud with regularly can be sorted into two categories and they are my parents and doctors#so like i have so little frame of reference for what i am like in actual conversation with ppl just out of scarcity of data to work with#and like ..... idk. it'd be interesting#obviously i know i'm mirroring it because i'm in my own head#but i don't know to what degree it'd be noticable to other people (if at all)#it'd just be cool to dig into if i ever got the chance#and like. y'know. obviously there's like the “in-credible” level tells and shit. but like. inflection? wording habits?#the stuff that's like. influences. as opposed to direct draws. i SAID smth about this in the tags and somewhere in the edits it got lost#so. yeah. that stuff. that stuff
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hakusins · 6 days
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just a funny thing i did with @yariyarebang's male pc, yixiang !!! i'm still on the fence about making yasu (pretty dark haired oneechan) canon in dol, but it does open up a lot of funny interactions if i do!
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asinglesock · 1 month
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just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.
#a sock speaks#local construction#fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher#on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this#I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument#and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward#several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself#that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive#and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive#(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going#I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself#but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort#I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it#I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.
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ladyimaginarium · 6 months
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i swear to g-d im& not even the jealous type but jfc i HAAAAAAATE this feeling when im& just lowkey like. who's :)))))) this :))))) bitch 👀👀👀👀🔪🔪🔪🔪 :))))))
#arcana.vents#& its like. kinda irrational bc we're just friends & just vibing & we're not even together but like. i cant help it so fuck me ig lmao#like obvi he can have friends & shit & w/e so im not gonna like. tell him anything bc i dont wanna like push him away or push anything yk??#& he said he missed me & everything but like. damn. why arent you talking to me like that. i wish you would talk to me like that.#i miss you too & i wish you would tell me you loved me more :<#im just like bitch chill he aint even your man. but he's sweet & good to me & he's deadass one of the funniest ppl ever.#& we have literally so much in common & he said i was a miracle & resilient since birth & that sb should make a documentary about me ehehe.#& we're both autistic poc4poc & have a lotta solidarity between our communities & he makes me blush & giggle & i love his curls & his smile#& the color of his skin's so pretty & he said that it'd be neat if we just. played videogames in a pillowfort#& he makes spongebob refs & he likes anime & horror & buffy & ethel cain nicole dollanganger & lana del rey & he got a nasty ass vocabulary#& he said it'd be cool if we explored abandoned places together & go to concerts together & he has the cutest name ive deadass ever heard#when nicole said ''when i see you i cant find the words to speak my cheeks go as red as two big cherries'' & ''you're so cool''... YEAH.#im gonna start fuckin chewing on the fuckin walls dude. im GNAWING at the bars of my cage. i need him to firmly grasp it.#i wanna feed him the world's sweetest strawberry!!!!#we have lost the entire fucking plot besties lmfaoooo#& i rarely if ever feel like this for cis dudes & my mind is blaring sirens like he gonna leave me im just. getting war flashbacks to. yeah#the red sirens be blaring like HE'S GONNA ABANDON ME!!!!! its so irritating#ill be goddamned if i EVER feel replaced to that degree ever again. id actually rather get hit by a car & throw myself into the sea lmao#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BPD SPLITTING I HATE YOU#this was from a few hours ago but i forgot to post it so lmao
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moongothic · 9 months
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I see some people often wonder out loud if Luffy might get a weapon or something to wield eventually, for no other reason than Roger and Shanks (and even Kaidou) also use(d) weapons, and it'd give Luffy some "extra strenght" in combat so he wouldn't have to rely on his Devil Fruit so much (and the Awakening especially, since it drains him so badly)
And the thing is, as most would probably agree, most weapons and blades especially just would not fit into Luffy's combat style. He, much like his grandpappy, fights with his fists, so it's hard to imagine him using any kind of weapons to fight
But that just made me wonder... Like...
Okay so people have been speculating for ages that Luffy might die at the end of the story or something, right. I do not buy that for a second, but it is true that Luffy is willing to throw himself into a lot of danger and has sacrificed literal years off his lifespan to protect those around him. And that has been escalating. It'd be natural for Luffy's self-endangerment to escalate to a point where there'd be actual, severe and tangible concequences for it. Aside from death.
And you know.
There's been some allusions to Luffy losing his hands, right
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And you might wonder
How would Luffy losing a hand translate to him gaining a weapon
Well
You know
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And the funny thing is
Luffy might not be one to use a HOOK, per se
But we have seen him wield a giant ball of gold to smash Enel's face in. So a metal mace/morning star/etc could actually work
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(Also since his Awakening can mess with the fabric of reality itself, even if one of Luffy's fists was replaced with a solid ORB of metal, he could probably/totally reshape it during combat to fit his needs, into an axe or a morning star or knife etc)
Also.
There would be something poetic about Luffy sacrificing a hand to protect someone dear to him, much like how Shanks sacrificed his entire arm to protect Luffy in Chapter 1.
Like you'd get the pay-off/concequences to the escalation of Luffy's constant self-sacrificing, but nobody dies. Luffy gets a weapon to add to his arsenal, but it fits into his pre-existing fighting style and character. And we could get that poetic full-circle.
That all said, if Luffy did somehow lose a hand.
I'm sure Franky would HAPPILY give Luffy a prosthetic hand with a ✨BEAM✨ Can not imagine Luffy turning such an offer down lmao
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