#it'd feel so wrong lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

giantkillerjack · 4 months

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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

#social skills #i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag #original #maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title #in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am #challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment #for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the #most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than #most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny #(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by #being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating #i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate #I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to #really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would #go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people #it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them #stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in #order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially #autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules #and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules #but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too

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jinxed-sinner · 5 months

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Alright here's my full (possibly hot) take on redesigning Hazbin Hotel characters and making a video showcasing those redesigns while you criticize the official designs.

First and foremost, you are redesigning someone else's OCs. Hazbin Hotel is, in essence, a passion project for Viv. How she talks about it makes that incredibly clear to me. The only difference between Hazbin Hotel and, for example, the story I'm developing surrounding some of my D&D OCs is that Hazbin Hotel got picked up by a streaming service and is significantly more popular than most passsion projects get.

Personally if someone wanted to redesign my D&D OCs, I wouldn't mind it, in fact I'd probably think it was really cool that someone would want to redesign one of my OCs to be closer to their tastes in terms of what they like to draw. I would, however, be made incredibly uncomfortable if someone made a video redesigning them where they also pointed out everything they thought was wrong with the designs. I didn't design these specific D&D characters to be 1-to-1 accurate to their classes in D&D or to look professionally designed. I designed them how I wanted them to look for the story I'm telling because I don't plan to ever play them in a campaign. The main character Avlan is a paladin, and I can acknowledge that his design might not look exactly like a paladin. One of the tabaxi in the story (Ice) is a bard and the other (Spark) is a ranger, and I acknowledge that their classes might not come across well in their designs. The single tiefling I've designed for this story (Tragedy) is a cleric but might not come off as one in their design. But I specifically designed them to be easy for me to draw because I want to be able to tell this story through my art. Having someone say "oh, Avlan's armor isn't paladin enough!" or "Avlan's fur colors and patterns should be closer to a wild rabbit's because harengon shouldn't be based on domestic rabbit colors!" would fucking hurt (especially because I'm so attached to Avlan, but it would hurt just as much if similar comments were made about Ice, Spark, or Tragedy). I am so passionate about these characters and being told their designs are bad or wrong in some way would be like a stab in the heart, and it would still feel like a stab in the heart if this story ever got a massive fandom behind it. Giving Avlan more complex armor because you think it'd look cool or just want to see what it'd look like? Sure, if I could draw more complex armor I'd give him more complex armor too. Giving him more complex armor but also shitting on the armor I decide to draw him with? My motivation to draw him in his armor, potentially draw him period, would be dead for WEEKS.

Why is it suddenly okay just because someone's passion project was picked up by Amazon Prime? Why is it suddenly okay to be "fixing" someone's character designs just because the project has a much bigger budget than most artists get and is on a popular streaming service? It's not. I don't care if you're a professional character designer, or think a specific character would look better with certain traits, or just don't like the character designs.

Hazbin Hotel is still Vivienne Medrano's passion project, and redesigning her characters and making videos talking about everything you think is "wrong" with them is, honestly, disgusting. You can make videos explaining your choices in your redesigns without putting down the designs that already exist, whether you like them or not. Me thinking Lucifer looks better with his tail not restricted to his full demon form doesn't suddenly mean I don't like his official design, because I fucking love it. If you wouldn't do it to an artist whose passion project is just a webcomic here on Tumblr, don't fucking do it to an artist whose passion project got picked up for a cartoon by a big streaming service (or any company for that matter).

#hazbin hotel #vent #kinda #i just think it's a weird double standard #'yeah don't fix people's art! unless theyre working on a project that was picked up by a big company then it's fine to fix their art'#like???#why is that a mentality that exists?? they're still viv's characters #and you can still redesign them without shitting on the official designs #pretty much all of my redesign notes for hazbin hotel are 'how can i make this character easier and more fun for me to draw'#because i specialize in furry art. i don't usually draw humanoids lol #so giving vox some shark traits for example or making adam more birdlike would make them more fun for me to draw #why can't we redesign them based on that without saying 'i think it's weird that this decision was made for this character's design'#they're still viv's characters. they're still her designs. stop pointing out everything you think is wrong with them for fucks sake #we don't need to talk about hazbin's character designs. we don't need to 'fix' them #just say they aren't for you and move on. there's literally nothing inherently wrong with them #i also feel like not enough people actually do research into the historical contexts of some characters #and i think it'd be really fuckin cool to see people redesign characters more based on headcanons based on that than anything #look into how the mafia operated in new york in the early/mid 1900s for angel. look into radio hosts in the 1920s for alastor.#look into las vegas culture during husk's lifetime for husk. look into the culture surrounding tv hosts in the 1950s for vox.#LOOK INTO THE CULTURE OF THE ELIZABETHAN ERA FOR ZESTIAL.#(i just presented zestial ideas to anyone who wants them on a silver platter. you're welcome)#(also new headcanon that zestial was friends with shakespeare in life because why the fuck not)#(when the tags get wildly out of hand)

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bunnihearted · 8 months

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🫖🧸

#ohhh i miss tea so much #like tea is so warm and so comforting!!!!!#like now i have rllyyyyy bad anxiety like REALLY bad i feel... terrible #i feel dettached from the world and like im living in a nightmare nd that everything is bad and wrong im scared lol #all i wanna do is curl up in bed w a book nd cup of tea :((#but i cant have tea or anything so that just sucks lol. it'd help my anxiety a bit but now i cant rlly do anything </3

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machinegrl · 7 months

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uh oh two of your sims (whatever ones you pick) wake up to their closets switched!! what would the different styles than their use to look like on ur two sims???

Alon + Emilio style swap!

ty bunnii ily! 😚💗

#ahhh hope i did the challenge right!#alon without his piercings and eyeliner feels so wrong lol #piercing holes look so fuckin sexy to me tho idk 🤧#emilio only wears glasses at home #but i wanted to see what it'd look like on alon hihi 👉👈#c:alon #c:emilio #ts4 #the sims 4 #deadstars;cs

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tenrose · 1 month

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Not my cat flirting with every pet sitters I get him during my vacations lmao

#misc #this year it's a man #i was lowkey worried cause my cat don't know many men #(idk if they even can tell the difference tbh lmfao)#but this hoe of a cat smelled him and immediately targeted his legs #sometimes i wonder if he wouldn't cheat on me with another human if he had a chance dusjsjjejz #anyway the guy is a young man and as someone who struggled when i was younger #i feel like doing a good action paying someone to do a cool job #(i mean cleaning the litter is not exactly a fun job but getting paid to pet a cat is)#also i met him through my physio who knows everyone #because last year i chose a pet sitter through a pet sitting website #but it was hella expensive #and it's basically a scam cause i paid something like 150€ but only 50€ was for the pet sitter the other was for that shit website #fuck start-ups #anyway i decided to do it the old fashioned way #through social relationships #but i struggled cause i have not social relationships???#except for coworkers #but I don't want coworkers to go to my home #that's an absolute no #it'd be a violation plus i am ashamed of my home and shit #so i prefer someone I don't know at all #so if i get judged it has no consequences #(yes i have trust issues)#so i had to actually gather my courage and ask my physio if she knew someone because she works with lot of young adults and teens #and turns out the mom of the man was here and she said she'll ask him #can't go wrong with someone vetted by hus own mother lol #anyway he said cats are his favourite pets so we're good #Loki definitely sensed that he can plays him like fiddle

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camellia-thea · 2 months

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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests #<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them #there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another #because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it #there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus #the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest #there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might #(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it #which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess #tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world #and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself #and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything #i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel #<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong #god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol #it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing #i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing #because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy #because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good #and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely #and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.

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dragonmage · 3 months

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Honestly it'd be really cool if Merrill popped back up by being connected to the Veiljumpers faction

#It'd make sense with all the Eluvian research and interesting with the years long fan-theories of all the different magic and how it effects #and if not bioware hire me to write your shit #she's not even my 'fav' character (i love her dont get me wrong) but She would make the most sense out of 2 if she popped back up again #i feel like bioware would love to show familiar faces again to get hype up so i might be huffing copium but #that could also we a fun little treat - i cant remember if morrigan/hawke/alistair was teased or not for inquisition #i feel like im a genius for connecting these two points cuz i havent heard anyone point it out but i could be wrong #but ircc that was her all 'controversial' plot of messing with eluvians and trying to get them to work and shite (via demons but still lol)#da #dragon age the veilguard #dragon age 2 #merrill #my post #dragon rambling #veil jumpers

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chikoyama · 4 months

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Sorcerers weren’t particularly known for being brittle in nature. They were survivors, saviours, self-reliant. Sacrificial. All gallant values that they seemed to wear all too proudly on their chests like medals of honour. Values that they seemed to chant with almost a religious conviction. Carved into them like branding scars. All achieved over the span of several generations — several lifetimes. Through careful but consistent persuasion... until it seemed to become nothing but the root of their very existence.

These were values that seemed to not only echo amongst a selected crowd of sorcerers, but the rest of the population too. Right from their early days of training until they'd fulfilled their duty upon death. At the thought, a sardonic smile stretched across his lips. How very gallant, Ziggy noted to himself. Or reckless.

These were the beliefs and principles that sorcerers were conditioned to live by. Became their very reasons to too — principles so deeply ingrained within their personalities, it was almost tragic, Ziggy thought. Soldiers... no, machines programmed to unquestioningly abide by orders given. Programmed to give up their lives… for what exactly?

Because, weren’t curses humans too? Human-made at least. So were babies. Both species were warring against each other for a spot in this world. A place to belong. Aah, all beautiful thoughts — typical of anyone who claimed to be human, really. Thoughts that’d ironically lead them to their own demise... perhaps. Events of destruction and travesty were inevitable at least. They’d never learn, would they? It’d be just another repetition of history. Nothing the dimension hopper hadn’t seen before. It was the same across every Universe he’d visited.

Lightly pondering, the purple-haired creature leaned back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, foot bouncing in anticipation for what was going to happen next. It was all too wicked, wasn't it? Languidly stretching his arms over his head, his mind briefly wandered to the bunny. Eeeh, so what would she do this time with the new life he’d granted her?

#practice writing #pov: ziggy #queued #fazil funsies #the dimension troll watching as if it was a tv show LOL #i wrote dis long ago but couldn't post bc it wouldn’t be from chi’s pov #then i realized it'd make sense if it was from ziggy's pov <3 #ziggy is my other oc not part of the jjk universe #he's jsut an immortal dimension hopper who has taken an interest in chiyori (not liking bc that implies he has feelings which he doesn't!)#funny thing is he's not human and can't feel human emotions (or so he claims)#he doesn't understand it at least and uses chi more like a guniea pig for social experiments bc she consents to it #he doesn’t understand all the symbolic violence or the tribalism #his background and view on things are.. interesting he's the epitome of apathy #with traces of psychopathy whereas chi is the polar opposite #he functions on a whole other level but chi just accepts it almost without question?#like she knows there's something 'wrong' w him by human standards but still chooses to be w him #and he's liek: why? how? mhmm.. fascinating i'll play with u for as many lifetimes as u desire babe

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the-punforgiven · 8 months

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Shoutout to whatever the fuck's wrong with my leg for making sure I was REALLY awake after my alarm woke me up

#took a power nap in the hopes that it'd reset my brain and kickstart me in gear #it's like #feels like some muscle in my leg just being stretched too far #can feel it in my calf knee and thigh and it's just so raw #feels like an elastic band being stretched juuuuust before it snaps #idk what's wrong with it but it fucking HURTS #upside the adrenaline got my heart rate going so I'm REALLY awake now #downside is that now my body just wants to sleep off the pain lol #it's like girl what was the point of that?#so unnecessary #pun's text posts

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winter-spark · 11 months

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I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.

I think it's fear of being wrong.

#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate #that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it #I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense #that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess #I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow #and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there #I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...)#that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself #also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol #But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense #(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests #but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them)#I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things #so who can say yet #(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.)#Citron & his brothers #as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them #which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh?#but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them #so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day #or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___'#you know?#these tags are too long #sorry for rambling #I legit could've just made a separate post with them #but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them #I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway #still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this #idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3 #by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol

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dxxtruction · 24 days

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#I kind of wish they'd given Armand at least one or two clear positive traits but idk maybe they did he just can't actually be #owned to them because he's built up so much SHIT and doubt around himself and towards Louis and tries it also with Daniel it's like #Impossible to say anything positive isn't also negative by association of how it serves to uplift his negative motivations #But I mean just to throw some out there??#I think he's naturally curious and uh... I think he at least wants to try being better?#But its fails miserably because he's so narcissistic and withholds far too much of his intentions and actions #He views a lot of negative traits as positive ones and positive traits as negative when there in contention with himself #I feel he conflates a bunch of things on terms of whats good behavior and bad behavior because he'd been adapted to it that way #He wants to be better but doesn't actually commit to it.#Thats sort of the unfixed sense of self coming in #Armands opinions on things have clearly changed to be diametrically different to what they were 70 years ago #But he also severely avoids owning up to all negative things about himself.#I think one positive trait is that he can regret his actions? He can self reflect.#but I don't think he self reflects enough to see the truth behind his actions or what future actions could have in consequence #Guilts good because then it's not a total lack of empathy there. But he displays it in such a guilt trippy way it becomes negative.#A lot of things about Armand are just like that actually.#His most natural impulse is to simply destroy everything but he loses that impulse if he can love care or wield control over that #I feel he recognizes he cant let such impulses run rampant but then he's just sitting on a mountain of repression to make his self image #appear better than the very very dark shit that's him underneath #These two things can't... integrate properly.#Partly because he's always in the wrong envoirment for it because he can't obtain this through gaining it out of other people actually #I think its disingenuous to say he's in total awareness of his actions as bad and that he's doing all of this to be intentionally harmful.#Even if he is at fault and consequence for them #and like unless there's an outright lie I think a lot of the things he says are things he genuinely believes but they just come into #so much contention with others and their safety and values etc.#But he could just as easily be orchestrating all of this with full awareness and intention. So it's really an interpretational thing.#Most of this is like ... not talking about his positive traits lol. They're there he's just too much of an asshole to get to have them.#Like if I were to place a disorder on him it'd be histrionic narcissist.

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reinemichele · 6 months

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Emerging on sleepless nights When dusk turns to dawn... He lashes out on the filthy chatte (whores) of the alleyway. Ah... with an unseen arm he wrings their necks... That 《fantôme de rêve》 (phantom of a dream) Is merely a fragile, damaged ego... Drowning in ruthless lucidity, when he drinks and drinks... He stumbles about the miniature Château (castle) of an attic. Ah... with an unseen arm searing with pain... That 《fantôme dolour》 (phantom pain) Drifts away in cheap liquor, allowing him to sleep... On the battlefield, the two men had a fateful encounter... A knight with golden hair (Laurant) ... A knight with auburn hair (Laurant) ... Conflict spreads... the corpses stack... Who is the assailant... and who is the sufferer? In the shade of the setting sun, A blade glitters in dark red. Stolen from him, along with his arm, Was sa vie (his life)— No longer able to work, his lover left him... All was lost, everything taken away; The worst imaginable la vie (life)— Living in constant fear of a pain That strikes without warning... "Le plus souvent (More often than not)... When your nightmares torment you, you beat me... And I fear... I'm going to die any day now... Au revoir (Farewell)… I love you dearly, more than anyone else... But even so... you'd never make a good père (father) To the child I'm carrying..." Wine… champagne… brandy… Ah... Slicing through the silence of the sleeping forest... He appears again... Racing on horseback… Like the vision of a nightmare… With auburn hair billowing all around… He brandishes the Reaper's scythe and swings— Harvesting heads… Like the vision of a windmill… With scarlet flowers blooming in all directions... Emboldened by a single guiding principle— Cloaked within the thinly veiled darkness... He awakens only to find That he's still in a dream (nightmare). His life depraved into one of drinking and lunacy, Trapped within a cycle of repeating pain. A scar in the shape of a cross marring the left cheek; With blazing auburn hair and eyes of maroon— His arm aches to kill— His 『unseen arm』 burns to kill that man! Who is the assailant and who is the sufferer...? Hunt down the Reaper and bury him... "I'll kill you!" The chevalier (knight) mounts his steed once more… And as time quietly passes, the world begins to shift. The two Laurants (men) meet again in a foreign tavern. The one-armed and the one-eyed; Ah... not a shadow remained of their former valor... The man lunged at him unexpectedly, Gripping the epee noir (black sword) And the sang (fluid) Splattered everywhere like pinot noir (red wine) In the act of pushing it in… Offering up the flower, "bonsoir" (good night) In the act of pulling it out... Bringing light to the song, "au revoir" (farewell) "Out of my way!" "Who the hell are you... gh...!" "Bonsoir." "Au revoir." The name of the man who collapsed is Laurant. The name of the man who escaped is Laurencin... And yet another Laurant… Simply stood at the scene in stunned silence... Who is the assailant And who is the sufferer...? Victims upon victims, added to the pile. Turning round and round, The revolving windmill of hatred… Swinging up and falling down, like wild, dancing flames... Ah... within the shade of a pillar, The boy remains unseen… With maroon eyes... intently watching... "Nothing in life ever goes my way... but... This pain is proof that I lived..." When the curtains close On the stage of the revenge tragedy… The man contemplates: His remaining arm... what remains of his life... And the unseen meaning of it all— The taste of wine fills his cup… Bleeding into his heart... "I wonder if a 《story》 can be found there...?"

#erin talks #video #erin's music rec tag #well it turned out to be the whole thing lol #I always thought if I was going to compare ankn/vdr to a SH character it'd be mrchn for .#2 ppl 1 body / came back wrong / unable to remember love due to need for revenge / etc reasons #but I guess he's the blonde laurant in miezaru ude #I thought about putting the lyrics that Really fit (like 'trapped in a cycle of repeating pain' 👍🏻) in brackets or changing their color #but I feel like there's already so much going on with SH typography that I won't remove out of sentimentality #that I didn't want to add more #but like unseen arm wringing necks . fragile ego . 2 knights facing off . lover leaving him for the kid . endless pain . etc etc etc #the windmill mention is just a little treat <3 #Youtube

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drysauce · 1 year

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my great plan for moving out with my friend might suddenly go downhill because she wants to take her best friend (and her cat) as the 3rd roommate meaning i'd be 3rd wheeling literally 24/7 and additionally constantly missing my own cat :c

#i do like both of them don't get me wrong especially my friend she's someone i enjoy hanging out with the most #but when they're together well. let's say it's visible they've known each other their whole life #and im just there like 🧍#awkwardness overload to put it simply #i mean. two very feminine women playing harry styles songs all day and skipping breakfast + supper is the exact opposite of me lol #so living together might be a big challenge #and there's also the cat aspect #i don't know if I'd manage to live with someone else's cat when i have to leave mine at home #it'd be different if we all knew each other equally well #but while my friend knows that other girl for 14 years i know her for about a year and don't talk with her unless there's a group hangout #i just. have a bad feeling about all of this i guess

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il-miele-che-scrive · 4 months

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Lando Norris and [Y/n] Wolff are an on-and-off thing, fans think they're all good after [Y/n] releases a song supposedly about Lando, but they forget he's not the only Brit on the grid.

username1 HE LAUGHS AT ALL MY JOKES

↳username2 AND HE SAYS I'M SO AMERICAN

username3 sorry but in which part is y/n american?

↳username1 her mother, Y/m/n Y/l/n, is American and Y/n spent most of her life in the US after Y/m/n and Toto divorced

username3 oooh good to know, thank you!!

username4 I'm so happy to know Y/n and Lando are still together after all

↳username5 But they were never official

username4 But it's obvious! They were seen on dates many times, hanging out around Monaco, not to mention every time Y/n is in the paddock she spends more time in the McLaren garage than Mercedes'

username6 my fav nepo baby <3

username7 damn Lando must be doing a good job lol

username8 Y/n finally released a love song, everybody thank Lando

username9 Weren't there rumours about them being over forever just during the winter break?

↳username10 Toto would find a way to get Lando kicked out of F1 if he ever broke Y/n's heart lmao

username9 What does Toto gotta do with McLaren?

username10 He's rich? Lol

username9 And? Stroll's daddy is rich as well yet he can't make idk Verstappen disappear lol rich doesn't mean he can do anything he wants

username11 Guys I have a bad feeling, we actually haven't seen them together in a long time , I'm afraid they might be actually broken up for good

↳username6 I wouldn't read too much into it, Y/n studies in Monaco so she isn't able to attend races right now

username11 You sure? Y/n hasn't made a single appearance since the season started

username6 The season started in the middle of her uni year lol you ever thought of that?

↳username7 this is literally a love song, how are we even wondering if they broke up? she wouldn't release this if they were done

username6 THIS!! I feel like this song is a confirmation from Y/n that all is good, maybe she was tired of people talking if they're broken up or not

username5 Then why don't they make it official?

username6 that's not a question i can answer

username12 "I'll go anywhere he goes" then why aren't you attending races miss girl? Education can wait

↳username2 lmao it literally can't wait

username13 "the books you read" ma'am, Lando looks like he hasn't touched a single book his whole life

↳username12 And it's not like he dresses that well either, his style is nothing special

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

y/n's texts with Lando

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

username1 All men are the same I swear

↳username2 nooo I swear there are good ones, but that's just not Lando

username3 excuse me sir, y/n has just written a love song about you

username4 NOOOO THE WAY HE PUT HIS HAND ON THE GIRL'S LOWER BACK

↳username1 Him and Y/n are done frfr 😭

username5 Do we know who the girl is?

↳f1gossip Not yet, but I'm sure we'll know in no time

username6 Wtf is wrong with you, it's not her fault Lando can't focus on one woman

username7 But there's no way she didn't know about him and Y/n ;)

username6 There is/was no "Lando and Y/n", they never confirmed a relationship

username8 He's just won in Miami, I was hoping they'd make it official after that :(

↳username9 Sameeee it would be so cool

↳username10 Literally same, it'd be perfect

username11 Lando Norris, you disappoint me again

↳username12 at this point Y/n must be used to that lmao poor girl I hope she finds someone better

username13 WHAT DOES TOTO SAY ABOUT IT?

↳username3 Whats he supposed to say? Y/n is a grown woman, stop treating her like a baby

username14 I swear if we see Y/n back again with him after THIS I'm gonna break some dishes

↳username15 Yeah I hope she'll find some self respect and finally leave his ass

username16 Y/n I beg you to leave him, the d can't be THAT fire

yn_wolff posted on instastory

landonorris replied to your story:

↳mind if i join?

yn_wolff:

yeah lol don't join

landonorris:

i was gonna sail today anyway, what if we do it together?

hey i think i see u thru my window who are u with?

yn_wolff:

with dad and susie

stalker ass creep don't get anywhere near me today

landonorris:

I see another man

who is he?

*seen*

y/n answer me who is he

is that russell?

fucking russell wtf is he doing there

he better keep his hands away from you

what the fuck why are u hugging him

yn_wolff:

i'm hugging george and I'll do something worse if you don't stop with ur stalker shit

landonorris:

what the fuck do you mean y/n

yn_wolff:

don't worry, I'm sure that blonde girl would love to give you a hug, you should go see her

landonorris:

she's just a friend

y/n you're mine

she doesn't mean shit to me

don't show my texts to russell

yn_wolff:

Hello it's George, stop texting my girlfriend or we'll have to tell Toto

landonorris:

girlfriend?

username1 Right after? The Lando thing was yesterday

↳f1gossip Yeah, and this was this morning

username2 Whats Y/n doin with George? 🤨

↳username3 in case you forgot she's y/n WOLFF, the daughter of Mercedes' boss which GR drives for

username4 After seeing Y/n's story I hoped she's finally spending some time with Lando but...

↳username5 Have u seen what Lando posted? 😂

username4 What did he post?

username5 Oh apparently he deleted it already lol it was a story

username5 Anyway he posted like a lowkey thirst trap pic and the music he added was Tumblr girls by g eazy lmao

username4 Boohoo consequences of his own actions catching up

username5 Yeahh and he especially chose the verse that goes like "fucking off and on, always stop and go, probably got someone, choose not to know"

username6 Guys, I say we take in consideration the possibility of 'so american' being about George

landonorris Monaco weekend 🇲🇨☀

view all comments

username1 Why do I feel like he posted this just so people think Y/n was there with him even though there's not a single pic of her? 😂

↳username2 Bro why he want her when he can't have her anymore?

username3 get over it, it's your fault

username4 I feel like he's tryna say "Hey guys look, Y/n took these pics" but why would we believe it 💀

↳username1 Exactly!! We all KNOW she most likely spent the day with George

username5 Now all i think about when i see Lando is the story he deleted 😭

↳username6 totally hahah he literally called Y/n a bitch but also admitted that he can't help wanting other girls

username7 Wait when did this happen? When did he say that?

username6 he never said that, it's lyrics of a song he posted but quickly deleted

username5 He immediately regretted hahah

username8 @/maxfewtrell Tell Lando to behave, why are you even helping him with this bullshit?

username9 It's too late, you had your chance FOR HALF A YEAR and still chose to lead Y/n on, now she got someone else and you're being petty

↳username10 She let him lead her on for half a year? Damn it he should pay for her therapy

username9 I feel like she really hoped she can change him but realized "if you can't change the man, change the man"

username10 Very accurate lmao

username11 Guys, I believe Y/n and Lando were a thing for much more time than half a year, it was going on for at least a year, they were just very secretive about it

username9 Well, good for her to finally get out of this shit, she deserves so much better and I hope George will give her that

username1 I bet Toto loves his new son in law

↳username2 He has to be very relieved to know Y/n chose George eventually

username3 We still don't know if they're dating, remember George drives for Mercedes

username4 I really hope Lando is crying rn

username5 Now Lando for sure can't trick us into thinking Y/n was with him lmao

username6 I love George for saving Y/n

username7 I love them, they're all so old money, Y/n and George are a great match

username8 MY DELULU IS BECOMING TRULULU

username9 This is our confirmation that so american is about George

username10 I feel like Y/n upgraded at some point but at one point also downgraded

↳username2 Let's not talk about it, we should be happy for her and George, at least he won't treat her like an option

username11 George is literally THE MAN for Y/n, I'm so glad she finally realized that

↳username12 Chill, let's not assume stuff before we have any statement from them, we all know where assuming can get us

username13 This is my old money dream

username14 HEAR ME OUT but I'd actually love to see George and Y/n get married one day

↳username12 THIS is exactly where assuming can get us

yn_wolff Oh you'll like him, he's really kind andhe's funny like you sometimes, and I found someone I really like maybe for the first time

view all comments

username1 I'm so happy for them I'm gonna cry

lewishamilton Invite me next time!

↳georgerussell63 Toto said it was family only, I'm sorry, Lewis!

↳yn_wolff Ask Ferrari to invite you wtf

username1 lmao only Y/n Wolff can talk to a 7 times world champion like that

username2 YESSSS IT'S OFFICIAL

↳username1 Y/n is officially free from Lando!!

username3 I love the vibes, I love the fact that Y/n is dating a driver from her dad's team, I love the fact that Toto accepts it

↳username4 He must've been going CRAZY when Y/n had the situationship with Lando

username3 Absolutely and I think we all know about Toto's anger issues lol

susie_wolff 💝

↳yn_wolff 🩷

ymn_yln I hope George knows he's welcome in America too 😊

↳yn_wolff Of course!! We have a plane on Friday❤️

↳georgerussell63 I wanted to take Y/n to Miami so we can visit after the GP, but she refused 😔

yn_wolff Shut up I have uni!!

georgerussell63 It can't be more important than me meeting your mum

lilymhe Beautiful couple 😚

↳yn_wolff @/susie_wolff it's about you and dad💕

lilymhe Might as well be 😂

username3 Susie and Toto literally are Y/n and George in like 20 years lmao

alex_albon Finally, no more secrets

↳username2 ALBONO KNEW?

username4 Phew I can't imagine how much stress it was for him 😂

username5 George just MIGHT be the guy which so american is about...

username6 Something about this relationship makes me feel so at peace and I don't even know them in person

charles_leclerc Someone check on Lando😂

↳yn_wolff Charles 💀

username5 Is he wrong tho

username7 I laughed harder than I should've

↳username8 Betting all my money he's regretting all his actions

username9 As he should tbh imagine leading sb on for about a year, people who do this are evil

username8 Yeah, that was so wrong of him

username10 No but I need to know what books George reads tho

landonorris 👍

↳yn_wolff Stalker ass you don't even follow me

↳username4 THE AUDACITY

landonorris I hope you'll have fun while it lasts

↳yn_wolff YOU'RE the one to speak about lasting

↳georgerussell63 Not your place to worry about it🙂

username5 THE EMOJI MAKES IT SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

username1 "THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE BOOKS YOU READ" he dresses well✅ he looks like he reads✅

username2 He's the perfect man for Y/n frfr

username3 I'm so happy that it's not about Lando after all, I was like girl he's treating you like shit and you write a love song??

username4 I've been waiting for it for YEARS

username5 So they had a thing for no longer than since the end of winter break and already made it official

↳username2 Something Lando couldn't do for almost a whole ass year lmao

username6 But have y'all noticed how obsessed with Y/n Lando is suddenly?

↳username1 of course he is, that's how it works, he's been rejected so his fragile ego is hurt

username3 He's even liking fans' edits of Y/n😭man is manifesting hard but I doubt anything can help him

username7 Good to know George's hands are warmer than hell, they don't look like it

username8 Girlie deserved a man who doesn't have commitment issues aka is a real man, I'm glad she got him

username9 Y'all think Lando reads Y/n x reader fanfics?👀

↳username1 Totally

↳username2 I can imagine it

↳username3 He'll do it until his delulu becomes trululu (it'll never happen🔥)

username10 I'll laugh so hard if now Lando will now stop fooling around with other girls 😂

username11 Can't wait for a whole album full of love songs about him

↳username12 I don't think we'll have to wait for long

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 social media au #george russel x reader #George Russell imagine #George Russell smau #George Russell social media au #Lando Norris x reader #Lando Norris imagine #Lando norris smau #Lando norris social media au

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