#it’s uh very alienating
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#I am… not in a good mental state#it’s uh very alienating#no one like understands the fucking pain and shit that I’ve dealt with for the majority of my life that comes with these problems#no one understands how the focus is primarily on fertility and how you have to really fight for symptoms treatment#it feels like all your worth is in your ability to have kids and like#if you have these sort of problems and don’t want kids it’s kind of one big fuck you#and like no one in my life really gets it; I try to not get mad cause like how could they if they’ve never gone through it#but that doesn’t make it any easier and it’s so hard still and it’s so alienating#gonna go take the hottest shower I fucking can and just like cry it out cause no one is really helping#moms being controlling telling me I can’t go to work tomorrow like this and yelling at me about it#I don’t do well on phone calls and asked if she would sit with me when I called the doctor and that was a mistake#I can’t hear someone talking next to me and someone talking to me on the phone at the same time#and everything she didn’t like she tried to tell me I did wrong and now she’s mad at me#my husband has been complaining about how uncomfortable the chairs in the er were and about being up for 24 hours cause we were there from#2-am to 8am and just idk. I feel bad I guess#but then I get kind of mad about it cause I was also up for 24 hours and like#complaining about hospital chairs vs 10/10 pain + vaginal ultrasound while at 10/10 pain#my dad just flat out doesn’t care and doesn’t think it’s a big deal#I literally went downstairs to get my cats breakfast and got asked if I was better yet#like yeah dad in the span of a day my ovary has returned to normal size and I’m in zero pain. sure. that’s def how that works.#and like I have been having so many issues with my both my parents lately#it’s all so hard it’s too hard and I can’t fucking handle it#my health has just been in a constant nose dive since September#and I feel like everyone thinks because I already have a lot of health issues that I’m used to it and can handle it#no one gives a shit- which has also been great for my mental health#I can’t handle any of this shit and I feel like everyone around me just thinks I’m weak and annoying and a failure#I’ve been overwhelmed and burned out for years and like it just doesn’t stop#I’m just sad and tired and in a lot of pain and very done with everything#I feel like no one cares and I’m just a burden#I wish I could hibernate
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So I was thinking about this line.
At first, I was like, 'heartless'? How does Shadow know that? I'll grant 'aggressive,' and even 'voraciously carnivorous' - these are true and can be easily observed without moral judgment. That's just animal behavior; 'heartless' is a comment you make on a personality. It implies the behavior is not driven by instinct... but cruelty. And this alien doesn't speak, so...
But then I remembered that he literally shares a hivemind with this thing.
So, my headcanon now is that he was standing there staring (and silently freaking out) because this little jerk was just spamming their involuntary group chat with heinous monster thoughts.
It's probably seeing Shadow standing there next to Abe, and it's vaguely but persistently like:
HEY.
HEY.
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY EAT THAT KID.
LMAO.
HE'S LIKE RIGHT THERE.
I WANNA EAT HIM SO BAD.
YOU GOTTA DO IT MAN.
DO IT WHILE HE'S STILL ALIVE.
IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.
And then projecting confusion and frustration when Shadow...doesn't. I just think that the vibes of that would be pretty rancid.
#sth#shadow the hedgehog#at the very least he can absolutely feel what it feels and mmmmmmmm. uh oh.#dark beginnings#sonic x shadow generations#I was also wondering what in the world made Abe run away from him like that#maybe he somehow realized that Alien Group Chat was occurring and got spooked#must be annoying to be a wee larval alien stuck in a jar and the only other member of your species nearby is leaving you on read#and won't even eat that guy
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my lil goobies :) Betty and sidd !!! !! theyre aliens and also news reporters who spread misinformation and conspiracy theories betty's a reporter, sidd's the camera man goin for a pinky and the brain take over the world type beat but theyre both idiots </3
#my ocs <3#i love them so dearly#rare king candy break ?!!? insanity#aliens#? uh#oc tag#fartdd#uhhhh#artists on tumblr#hey thats me !! im an artist!! on tumblr!!#side note idk if im being paranoid but umm#is it okay to give them a speech quirk? is that insensitive? /gen#i dont wanna be like. stupid and ignoratn dont let me do that#i want them to be funny little guys genuinely i dont wanna sound bad or have weird undertones#they sound funny cuz theyre bugs#thats all#i think im being paranoid#the fear(tm)#i do hope yall like the designs tho im very proud :)
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im not sure how to parse this exactly (probably since the thought hasn't marianted fully yet) but i wonder if the tone of veilguard's writing is less about appealing to a younger audience and more of a response to falling media literacy rates
kind of thinking out loud here but like.
i'm recalling the girl on booktok who proudly annouced that she only reads the spoken dialogue in her books, not the narration & the people in her comments laughing and agreeing (no wonder they can 'read' so many books per year, they're only reading 25% of the words). or 'starting to think some of you don't like media or characters, just fanfiction tropes.' you can hand someone like that a complex narrative, but what are they going to do with it aside from completely & happily misunderstand things that are very obvious context clues & themes? we can joke about the fandom mischaracterizing our blorbos & trying to be cool about just scrolling past but idk, personally i feel like i've seen an uptick in completely off-base takes in the last few years (probably some fandom bias there but this isn't my first time playing dragon age or narrative driven games in general so i don't think i'm entirely wrong)
it doesn't help that this group also loves to be loud online & the bioware devs (to their ongoing detriment) seem to be unable to distance themselves from fandom. we saw larian's response to this type of outcry, i wonder if bioware is just trying to get ahead of the curve. they make some questionable decisions, but they aren't stupid & i don't think people like that are especially hard to market to from their standpoint.
i don't think that older titles like dao are perfect or anything but i sincerely doubt that large swaths of current audiences would 'get' it. like, there IS a lot of narrative hand-holding in this game & i'm not talking about things like the map markers or accessibility features. 'do the companion quests!' you get told multiple times, more or less outright, & i'm still seeing people confused about getting 'bad' endings despite ignoring this incredibly obvious series of hints. there's a fair amount of information to be found in the codexes, but are people going to read them? we don't know, so we're going to repeat the relevant item name several times over on the off chance you might end up remembering it. like yes this is some people's first foray into rpgs, but you would think that progressing the story would be intuitive (especially given the structure & the journal itself).
the 'the curtains were blue!!!' crowd is unfortunately a very large audience these days, ea is a corporation who wants to make money & they do need that if they intend to keep making games. it might not even be intentional, it truly could just be the result of following market trends.
don't take this as me making excuses for bioware or anything, but there's definitely some sort of reason we ended up the way we did. i see the scaffolding of something interesting here with a lot of potential to be better than what the final product was, a lot of hooks we could have spent more time chasing & that leads to me wondering just what the hell happened.
#some of the writing was always going to be a bit goofy & cheesy thats just the nature of dragon age lmao#its the glimpses that make me the most curious though#& while i had fun and ultimately enjoyed the game more than not i think that examining outside factors is weirdly more rewarding to me rn#than the game itself fdghjkk#good writing DOES still exist there are very much projects that arent concerned with the 'how are you say we piss on the poor' consumer#but at the end of the day money talks and i dont think alienating that customer base via expecting more than a 9th grade level of#critical thought is the approach the average AAA company wants to take#i think that the writers honestly did on at least SOME level care abt this project but we'll never get to see the drafts and the cut parts#someone break their nda im going insane over here#anyway im just assuming things fgfhj pondering#oh uh i should probably tag#veilguard spoilers#to be polite yk#i know the blue curtains werent malicious at the time & op was probably just frustrated in their hs english class but i really wish that#it didnt catch on Like That. because man. Man.
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now I'm curious, as someone who has little to no opinion on the matter, what you consider your Beastlife Character's positive traits to be
OTHER BEASTS DO NOT PROCEED !!! CHARACTER METAGAME SPOILERS AHEAD !!! i will CURSE YOU with the DEVILS PLAGUE!!!
this website’s hate mail game is insane
I will answer this if i ever come up with something. I am literally looking up lists of positive traits on the internet. Tom said “unique” and like man i fucking???? guess???????
tbf breature’s self esteem is kind of in the negatives as of s4, so of course ooc im going to have a hard time pinpointing anything, as ooc perceptions do greatly influence a character’s perceptions of themselves.
There is, at the very least, a charisma. People will follow me around and hear me out to their own detriment. I often end up leading groups on accident, likely because I’m always going from one clear-cut goal to the next and other people will naturally want to tag along… I guess “driven” is a trait? I don’t think I’ve used this for one good thing so far though LMAO
tbh i think ME, irl bree, highly values a handful of traits and breature has sort of become an opponent of all of them.
i think, before the s3 alien conspiracy bullshit, there was a lot there. That was a well rounded individual. She had flaws but she wasn’t all flaws. But, at her lowest, she became the worst version of herself, and thennnn bc of the isolationist nature of the second season, almost all of her first impressions on other people happened when she was her worst version. So now it’s like she’s defined by this two dimensional parody. Everyone sees her as her worst version + she only knows how to interact with people as that worst version + most of her time alive in these games was as her worst version so she identifies with it = i am somewhat locked in to being horrible forevwr. despite being past what caused that spiral in the first place
like she has got to be one of the most hated ppl on beastlife I’ll be real LMAOOOOO in the two full seasons ive played ive been mourned Once. and it was by the guy i purposefully ruined the life of bc she has an unhealthy attachment towards me that i took advantage of at least three times. If that gives you any idea just how much I piss people off (and this is a server where most deaths are commemorated in one way or another, like it’s fairly culturally important)
sorry for the rant I’d say “i just love my fucking animal” but i really dont. bro is hated by her creator can you believe it… i do love doodling her badly in mspaint though ☝️
#asks#beastlife#This is rlly funny if a beast sent this ask in btw…. Here’s my answer! No you cant read it#but uh. hm. before the oku alien bullshit i was at the very least loving. So there’s that!
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in a way kinda glad that i started into sherlock holmes through bbc sherlock cause now i watch different adaptations and am continually made happy. granada? absolutely. lenfilm? yes mate.
like bbc sherlock was the dramatic appeal? to hook you in? (became obsessed) and then the deeper you get into adaptations and the source material, the more depth and domesticity and comradery you get. like if i didn't have that Experience, i feel like i might've found it harder to truly get into older or more densely-packed adaptations y'know?
#sherlock holmes starterpack feels#feel like this could have a poll for which media ppl started on#but the results might be skewed#as am very much into#granada holmes#atm so#am i just alienating everyone via this?#uh#i love all my holmeses and watsons equally (within reason)#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#bbc sherlock#russian holmes#ernie-spin-cycle#ernie-speaks
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Sepang 2006: After an exhausting race, Valentino Rossi brings a chair to the podium and sits down. Loris Capirossi joins him to sit on his lap.
#brr brr#//#lc65#going through my notes for that vale race rec post and I was gonna include some of these screenshots#but actually there's screenshots I want to include from parc fermé too because I think they're cute so. this gets its separate post#if you're wondering how that rec list is going btw I've currently got over eighty races listed I don't want to talk about it#this race deserves a lot more love tbh. one of the 2006 races nobody would ever shut up about if he'd won the title#but they don't suddenly stop being good races just because they ended up being in vain!! he was amazing to watch in 2006#two bits of context that really make this:#1) vale/loris were engaged in battle the whole race and vale overtook on the final lap before engaging in some?? uh. robust defence#which I feel like at least a few riders would at the very least have been mildly miffed at but!! not capirossi not with valentino#2) dani had like?? a deep cut in his knee and it was surprising he'd been able to ride let alone get a podium#you'll note he's the only guy standing while these two are doing their thing. another big win for empathy#one commentator is saying literally right after they stand up again that dani had gained the respect of his fellow riders that day#and you kind of feel like if they took his suffering THAT seriously they maybe wouldn't do all that but well!! anyway#alien tag
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Books of 2024: THE SCOURGE BETWEEN STARS by Ness Brown.
Devoured this in one intense sitting last night! It gets right into the "fucked up shit happens in space" (as I was promised it would!), and I liked that you could see the author's astrophysics background peeking through without derailing the tension.
(And, for real: Don't Open The FUCKING Door, holy shit.)
#books of 2024#book photography#my photography#the scourge between stars#ness brown#i also appreciated the casual queerness#i was not prepared for somebody taking advantage of the android >:( but i thought it was handled well!#always here for fucked up shit happening in space#it was very uh. ALIEN-esque to me#(red of THE GIRL IN RED and jack of SCOURGE same hat lmao)#(young women suffering through post apocalypses together 5ever)#tbh it didn't feel like a super original concept/execution but. i couldn't set it down and go to bed. so it was done Well.#anyway another shortie bites the dust!!#i did appreciate how jack problem solved around her issues lol#the bit with the core and the observation deck were both very nice#GO JACK GO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS WITH YOUR ENVIRONMENT I LOVE THAT FOR YOU!!!!#i will however be killing otto again thanks#and the captain actually
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Live Fast & Prosper
#VERY funny that the imposter Janeway is sort of doing her accent - did Neelix mention that to her too~??#'Also she talks like a thespian?? Which I guess is how everyone talks in Indiana.'#She also pulled the whole 'we're a workplace but I like to think of us...as a family :)' so you know she's not to be trusted#Also I fuckinglove how into it the guy playing fake Tuvok is...he's like INTO the role. Yet another criminal man obsessed with you#commander...what's your DEAL <3#I'm such a soft touch dude I felt so bad for the aliens being tricked heheheh#SNRKEHAHAHA ok...Tom & Neelix being pals is actually so funny. They're like 'how could this have happened...we're the toughest most street#smart guys in the book' OK. SURE. HEHEHEH#WHEN DID Y'ALL HAVE EDGE~?? /ESPECIALLY/ YOU TOM#Neelix was doing some shady shit (even though we all know he's a sofite) what'd you do besides get thrown in the clink Tom?#People who say there's no like...uhh character-only moments on Voyager just havent watched the show straight up#Neelix & Tom trying to swindle the EMH with a cup game <3 yeah...that's what this is all about#Janeway: (doing a great job being intimidating) / Tuvok: v_v mhm. / Janeway: Tell her all about it Tuvok.#Tuvok: O_O.....um......it's uh...whew it's bad over there....#Janeway: What about the prisons? / Tuvok: Oh yes the-the prisons....they don't give you lotion. You'll be deficient in at least THREE#vitamins before you're even brought to trial / Janeway: That's Enough of...that. <- trying not to laugh#Tuvok: (is an undercover agent) also Tuvok: I'm not good at small talk or improvisation.#Neelix how much did you talk about Tuvok bc this guy's really into it#Neelix: balablabla tuvok blablabla tuvok tuvok bla bla / Dala: ....(god this bitch is gay...good for me good for him)
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Pittsburgh Cincinnati Goes North
#yaaay holiday doodles#that little canada sticker is a temporary tattoo i wanted to see if it would apply to paper (it did)! got it free as a prize on canada day#those alien i believe notes were in a very specific room of a museum. if you know it then uh. hi?#doodlebyte#Pittsburgh Cincinnati#oc art#clean furry#original character#sfw furry#scene revival#traditional drawing#traditional art#i have no idea how to tag art of Pittsburgh lol. like what even is she#i guess shes a rabbit. or a bug. maybe
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’m thinkin’ of watchin alien stage ! :0 is it good ?
it's pure depression
#watch it as your own risk!!!#its#uh#interesting.#very short series of mvs#but very impacting#alnst#alien stage#★ cinna#⋆ ❨ sennies ❩ ֢֢֢ ۟
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i feel stupid saying this but whats homestuck
Oh sweet anon……
Let me tell you about homestuck
#it’s. it’s genuinely So hard to explain#but uhh to summarize:#initially four kids play a game that’s connected to a planet full of aliens called “trolls”#by playing this game they cause the end of both worlds and rise to godhood via a “wheel” of different powers#each of the main trolls is also connected to the zodiac in some way#then they have to try to make a new world in order to bring their loved ones back#and have to fight A BUNCH of evil dudes to prevent them from taking their powers?? I think#it’s been like 8 years since I’ve read it#uh#there’s a bunch of magic shit going on and gay and LOTS. TONS. OF VERY GRUESOME DEATH#so anyway uh#don’t read it#/and I mean that/#ask#anonymouse#homestuck#spotty speaks
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sometimes in trek: spock, data, julian, odo, seven or t'pol will say something and like, other characters will react in certain ways (annoyance or amusement) and the moments will be presented by the show as like "oh lookit this social blunder haha" and i'll be like
"i see what the show wants me to feel but literally what are they doing wrong here"
#note that im perfectly capable of recognising when these characters are being Bitches#(except for data who is pure and kind and never mean)#autism doesn't shut off the bitch function thank you very much#but im not talking about those moments. im talking about when they're presented as doing an Social Uh Oh#and im like. no actually its everybody else who is making this weird actually#autism is stored in the me. and star trek#i got an example of an especially weird one#pike offers spock coffee. spock says no. spock says he prefers tea#pike gives an amused ''haha what a weirdo'' look. hello???#literally WHAT is weird about that#also enterprise treating vegetarianism as some alien trait jhkfsajh
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I've been doing plot stuff for the apple skin au and uhhh....
obito i am so sorry my guy. you do not survive this.
#naruto#apple skin au#my posts#no kaguya as a moon alien = no zetsu = no old madara = obito does not survive#meaning that uh. everything that madara and obito manipulated into happening: the shit with Bloody Mist. Rin's death. The AKATSUKI#EITHER DO NOT HAPPEN OR HAPPEN VERY DIFFERENTLY
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me when the group conversation is triggering a bunch of instrusive thoughts and he notices that i'm uncomfortable so he keeps trying to redirect the topic without drawing everyone's attention to me 💪🥳😭🥀💌🌬️☄️🪐⛈️👾🐛🙏💌
#boink#two ocd kings one mildly disturbing acappella group <3#it was just very considerate#mildly embarrassing for me but i figure as a fellow ocd haver he probably gets it#he's such a fascinating man#like i don't know#bc that is honestly one of the kindest most understanding things that anyone has ever done for me#like not really knowing or needing the context to understand first#but just being able to intuit that i needed an out and like. trying to give me that#i just appreciate that understanding#as opposed to having to justify and explain and evade like i kind of feel like i have to do with my family#it's the same thing as when my friend noticed i was having a tic attack last year#not something i would ever expect from anybody#and not something i would ever fault someone for not doing if that makes sense#just appreciating the leeway and the understanding and the grace of it you know#like when i realized yesterday that i was out of my meds at auds#like a kindness that doesn't feel put on#i feel as if most people are kind. but sometimes kindness and sympathy can feel alienating despite best efforts#despite all his brusqueness and hilarity i genuinely could tell that he cared if i was going to be ok#my friend too when even though i havent seen her since the semester began offered to walk home and to get food with me#anyway i have to write two pages abt the bible before i go to sleep tonight and its already 12:30 so i should probably#uh#do that
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ok i just watched The Virigin Suicides and like... was anybody who has been defending and forming their personalities around Sofia Coppola's work gonna tell me that she's the kind of feminist who thinks feminism is just supporting Girls Who Are Like Sofia Coppola or did I have to find that out myself?
#text text text#i suppose this has given me insight into uh. the psychology of white feminism#don't get me wrong there were some very interesting observations in the movie about the harms in the rituals of straightness#which i found deeply alienating bc i am 🏳️🌈 but still interesting
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