#it’s too awful to even process | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carlos-tk · 12 days ago

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#i lie awake half the night #i sleep half of the day #then we cry and drink the rest of the time #i think the only time i’ve had a clear head is when i watched the episode the other day #i can’t even remember the last time i went to work #i haven’t even been to my own house all week #every day has blurred into the other #it’s not fair to already be grieving and then have to mourn another person too #i’ve grieved plenty of people who’ve lived to old age and had a full life #but i don’t know how to do this #21 and gone #it’s too awful to even process #how is any of this going to be ok #i can hold my friend in my arms all i like and tell them it’ll get easier but ?? i can’t promise that it will #nothing can make this better #nothing can bring their sibling back to them #can you believe i’ve been to the same cemetery twice in a week and i’ll have to go again next week like #to lose three people in one month is actually torture #thank fuck it’s the last day of january #this year needs to start getting better like now #d stuff

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bananonbinary · 11 months ago

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as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.

literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.

#as a side note: this goes for gender too #dont fucking get a special marker on your passport or whatever #trying to get ssi has made me realize how deeply cruel the system is #never reveal any vulnerability you have unless it's absolutely necessary #do not do this stuff for validation the government is not your friend and you should seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere #hm this post turned out a lot angrier than i meant #guess i'm still mad about how awful the process was #it wasnt even long it was just. so *impersonal.*#this woman talked to me for two hours. went down a fairly bigoted checklist.#didnt ask me my own opinion on much of anything. and then declared a bunch of her impressions as if they hold weight just bc shes allistic #like how i have 'identity issues' (am trans and dont want a romantic partner)#and thats just. my permanent record of diagnosis! this two hour conversation with a stranger! she doesnt fucking know me #we paid like $500 for that

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n0bluev · 11 months ago

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(eyes only 4 u)

EDIT: HI IM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY AT THIS DRAWING HAVE SOME COLOUR BLORBSIFICATIONS

#crunchy ah (slightly edited for my sanity) screenshot i took from the procreate timelapse #its so different to the 'final product [linked in “+”]' cuz i kinda ended up scratching the whole thing and sketching on top at the end lol #the process of drawing this was PAINFUL (was fighting for dear life against art block at the time)#but while checking the (painful. awful.) timelapse i kinda went 'hm. the eye kinda popped right tho...'#so i took that and went beep boop to fix it just a bit and im posting this too enjoy #呪術廻戦 #五条悟 #gojo satoru #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanart #satosugu #gojo fanart #gojo satoru fanart #gojo #stsg #and yeah. i was messing with artstyles (and failing and crying-) and still am so... uh hope u like the art and that you can see details tha #make my art mine even when i cant rly see or appreciate it myself lol #that being said art is bound to improve and evolve with time and life so im not too worried ^^ (artblock still sucks tho hah)#+ the glasses are crooked / in a wrong angle and I KNEW THIS WHILE DRAWING BUT WAS TOO DARN LAZY + ratio (YEAH! RATIO!!)

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flygonscales · 5 months ago

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2 weeks at uni and I’ve already reached peak procrastination. I found masking tape and somehow decided that the best use of my time was to make a tiny Belphemon-sleep.

#I actually can’t wait till student finance have processed my dsa #maybe next year or something I should look for an adhd diagnosis? if I’m having this much trouble focussing and a cup of coffee doesn’t work #anymore as a way for me to focus maybe I should see if meds would help?#(when I got my autism diagnosis i was also told its possible that I have adhd. I’d privately suspected adhd before I considered autism)#like. some days I can focus. it feels like I’m balancing on a knife-edge and it’s very stressful #and I can’t do it on command or anything #but sure #seeing one piece of fanart with Boy from tts #and my whole day goes down the drain because I can’t drag myself away from the series #and listening to video game soundtrack helps but then if I do that too much I start feeling lonely but I can’t listen to a podcast because #then I focus on that above the work I’m meant ti be doing #and even then I might look up other stuff about the video game I’m listening to #and the worst times are when I become self aware and that really breaks my focus but I know I’ve got to keep going #and then at the end of the day I feel awful because I’ve done about 1-2 hours actual work in 6 hours #time I could have spend doing other work or #heaven forbid #enjoying myself #that was more of a rant than I expected #I’m doing ok I think #I hope #i know I’m not meant to compare myself with others #but I’ve done more work than my flatmates #and that at least makes me feel a little better #I’m going to get myself a coffee now #hopefully that’ll help me today #my goal is at least 200 words #then I can stop #actually autistic #autism #personal rant

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inamagicalhallucination · 2 years ago

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i dont get when ppl say "atsushi would be horrified" at something thats probably just another tuesday for him

#yall atsushi is sheltered as in he doesn't know the real world literally cuz he was locked up #not that he doesn't know how evil or awful ppl can be #sure maybe some things he'll be horrified - especially since he usually seems to sympathize and empathize but stop treating him like he's #only seen good things in his life and doesn't know how hard it gets #i think atsushi would really only react to the specifics of dazai's relationship with akutagawa in terms of akutagawas past but i dont thin #hed start being scared of dazai or anything #i think he might take some time to process it but atsushi is aware of the dazai that dazai has changed into too #also in terms of atsushi not wanting to kill #when he realized that he killed shibusawa he had a little break down and then he got the fuck over it lmao #so idk whats this stuff about atsushi not being able to handl ever killing anyone #like he doesn't like unnecessary killing and he doesn't like not valuing life but still guys come on #also when ppl talk about atsushi not understanding or getting the fact that dazai wants to kill himself #like okay yea atsushi isnt dazai he'll never understand but sometimes ppl act like atsushi doesn't know what suicide is #or that despite his strong want and thirst to survive he also doesnt also think itd be better if hed died in a ditch #what else #also i dont like when ppl say atsushi is weirdly mean to akutagawa becuz akutagawa showed up and in a way confirmed atsushis worst fears #bringing misfortune to those around him #and then tried to kill him #and then resented him for dazai liking him more even tho thats not atsushis fault at all #fuck id throw dazai's name back at akutagawas face too #and he did come to understand and care for him to some extent #atsushi cares about akutagawa i dont understand how ppl can think he doesnt #anyway #also atsushi canonically gives ppl who've hurt him second chances like look at lucy why would he turn his back on dazai ever

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spamtoon · 11 months ago

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i would take their poison

Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)

#moshi monsters #sweet tooth moshi monsters #experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im #i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning #and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences #for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m #it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force #maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too #uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam #yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like #i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors #yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly #especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know #im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof #though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO #note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to #gamble on what size it was while changing it #sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS

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cloud-based-and-rainpilled · 1 year ago

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My Mom got legitimately angry at me for trying to learn Welsh because it “will never be useful/l, can’t learn without immersion and/or being a child, won’t help me get a job/learn for my career” so if you’re ever wondering why non-colonialist languages die not being able to commodify them is exactly why

#granted less than the population of my high school speaks welsh in my country #and i’m desperately behind on new tech and bad at the tech i’m supposed to be an ‘expert’ at #and i should really brush up my spanish #but she even agreed it’s sad we can’t learn something for the love of it & it’s like?? you just said it’s useless tho!#i’m not even welsh #lmao #i just want to sing songs properly and conquer my fucking auditory processing disorder #but welsh grammar is awful and i hate mutations hate it so had #not conversational welsh but still #been doing duolingo (sorry streak too bomb) for 2 1/2 months minimum but it’s so poor and the voices are so bad and it doesn’t show you #BASICS #like i’m learning more thru other apps and yt vids and moving onto c4c soon #it’s dire #welsh #cymraeg #cymru #duolingo #<- evil etc. but also bad course #also apparently the welsh govt is discriminatory and funnels money to language programs that fail (which is bad)#but straight up hating ‘non viable’ languages is so fuckin weird to me #endangered languages #welsh independence #<- let them out lmao #michael sheen #<- thank you good omens brainrot for forcing me into a new useless hyperfixation i will thusly abandon #language learning #memrise #say something #commodification #capitalist dystopia

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end-orfino · 10 months ago

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ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized.#and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this-#-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace-#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it-#-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it.#fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get-#-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over.#i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement.#its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every-#-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past.#even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

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tovaicas · 5 months ago

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my real favourite character is Nidhogg, I’m only obsessed with Estinien bc he’s a hangers-on /jokes

#saint.txt #spoilers #major spoilers #no but for real dravanian lore is SO horrific if you actually look into it #and the depths Nidhogg dove to in his crusade and the level of harm he inflicted on his own children in service to it #in a lot of ways makes him worse than the Vault.#Nidhogg dies agonizingly without any real closure and scared of the end bc he has nothing left to go on for.#he *has* to die because nobody can move on for as long as he lives and that’s a huge tragedy. despite everything he’s still a member #of a dwindling First Brood (half of which have died and were tortured at the hands of men). he’s still a father. a son. an uncle. a brother #his fanily still loves him even as they have to raise the blade over his neck. either him or Ishgard dies.#he isn’t a villain just evil for the sake of it he has real motives and one of the deepest wells of love out of any character in the game.#and killing him doesn’t even really fix anything. all of Ishgard’s problems are still there bc Nidhogg was not the cause.#sure it gives Ishgard a space to start fixing those problems but…that’s not really saying much.#idk most MMOs pretty blindly just say you killed the big bad!! everything’s cool now!! and it’s really poignant that HW didn’t #you killed a grieving brother who was never able to move on. he found no closure in death. and in the process you made a lot of things #in Ishgard exponentially worse than they already were. his death isn’t a victory.#it’s a long and awful and drawn out tragedy of a man who shouldn’t have had to die.#he did a lot of awful things. but he was still family to a lot of people.#and he was a good person once. lots of his friends and family remember who he was before the grief tore him apart.#and you can’t write Nidhogg or Estinien without considering the other bc they’re the same person in almost every way.#enjoy my propoganda Nidhogg will be your favourite character too if I have anything to say abt it

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meme-loving-stuck · 6 months ago

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I've been doing SO MUCH HARD STUFF lately and ZERO DOPAMINE REWARD has been issued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am owed at least a fucking WEEK of happiness or at the very least CONTENTMENT and i am gonna be PISSED OFF until i GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRR

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #i am so frustrated and annoyed and lonely that i am close to tears #i got my pin today but it's STILL TOO FUCKING HOT to wear my jacket! so i can't even enjoy it!!!#ive had to take stressful detours to and from work and my card has been declining and i got my credit knocked down a lot AND my wo #work campaign is going awful AND i have had to go to THREE crowded loud places this week AND my prescription DIDN'T GET FILLED #i dropped out of my only vending opportunity #my wife just got injured so now I've got to try to make them rest and not injure it WORSE and they refuse to let me take care of them #its not been the worst week of my life but it's NON STOP shit #since i loved my recent tattoo the universe said no more good feelings for you i guess!#i have been trying to reach out to my one friend more too and i hate myself for it. we're not even friends the way this is going #UGH!!!!!#my script not coming in is going to fuck my emotional state worse than anything else >:( i FILLED IT last week and it never processed!!!!!#>:'(

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digitaldiseas3 · 7 months ago

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extremely frustrating situation

#overly long winded explanation incoming #so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall #my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them #so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out #and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever #and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go #but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry #but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done #right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You #like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get #everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together #and they’re missing all of these deadlines #am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord #so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines #meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there #and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place #if you can even get to that point in the first place #so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is #but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness #like fuck dude just please come on

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hyunrun · 10 months ago

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tw ed in the tags !!

#im feeling sooo awful abt my body today its crazy #i dont wanna relapse but also i have prom and grad coming up so its very very tempting #silly side note but ive been friends w some moots on edtwt longer than I've known some of my irls and that's crazy to me #anyway i was looking at tweets of me being so majorly uber excited abt final hitting 45 kg T-T like man omfg #feb 23 me was the skinniest id ever been and i was thriving !!#and i highkey wanna be that again #was my hair thinning and did my face look so gaunt it scared me at times? yes #did i also feel my prettiest + have the most external validation from strangers etc ever? also yes !!#i feel fat and ugly rn but I'm also just very averagely weighted #but i have a naturally broader built but i feel like i look bigger even if I'm not ?? 9ufdkjhjs #anyway its scary looking through old tweets bc I'm talking abt skipping lunch like everyday and stuff like that's scary !! don't do that #but also it makes me wanna do it again like if i could look like that again... id genuinely kill myself for it #i was kinda also p healthy back then LOL only ate god food #cardio every evening + muscle training every morning #anyway teehee thats all i very much dislike my body rn and i hope i can lose a bit so i don't feel like dying <3 #i have hope bc im only 5kg off what i used to be so !! shouldn't be too hard yaaya if i can just get back in the 40s ill be happy like a 47 #i got this !! hopefully will not destroy myself in the process yay #tw ed

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fardf150 · 7 months ago

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fuck

#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all #bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever #but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then #but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou #s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck #i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked #i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself #fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her #and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it #but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all #im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet #I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands #'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring #you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act #like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even #fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me #i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned

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cinnabeat · 8 months ago

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i love how kh games are just sometimes psychological horrors

#like #u forget it a little bit when playing bc its like haha disney and also like #the gameplay kind of breaks what the fuckness bc u got shit to do now #at least for me im like woah thats fucked up but i cant think too hard abt it bc im trying to finish the game #but its not until you like actively sit and think abt it or like even explaining it to someone else #where youre like god damn this is a tragedy and also a horror story #like fuck castle oblivion and all the horrors of com is like???#and then the prologue for kh2 is definitely a psychological horror #i see a lot of people praise sora and go aw hes so brave and strong when sora like #actively ignores literally anything bad that happens to him #like that one scene in neverland in kh1 where sora was like LITERALLY SO SAD AND UPSET ABT KAIRI #and then immediately does a u turn and is like omg i flew wait until i tell kairi :)#and some people are like aw hes being so brave and he has faith that kairi can come back and he can save her #and that made me so upset when i first saw that scene bc to me i was like immediately oh hes just repressing #or someone was even like what a good boy about him stabbing himself in the heart to save kairi #like yeah i love a self sacrifical 14 yr old #i guess cuz like. idk most stories that are like in the same genre as kh do make shit like this like a positive thing? like dont focus on th #the bad things stay positive and all that #and it works in those stories dont get me wrong i do like them and it works in the beginning of kh but like #then you notice that sora doesnt process literally anything #in the game that tells you repressing the negativity is a bad thing #like rikus whole story line staring you in the face and youre still saying sora being positive and Not Thinking about literally anything bad #is a good thing #and like i said it worked in the beginning! it worked as intended!! then weird and upsetting things started happening to sora and that shit #piles up!!!! and you can see it happen in real time and sora was cracking HARD in kh3 i dont think ive ever seen that kid so god damn sad #idk where i was going with this #oh yeah psychological horros #the parallels between data sora and real sora and the contrasts haunt me every day #michi tag

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trashbaget · 11 months ago

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tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍#but like. i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation.#which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what)#anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.)#anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡#but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦#cheers to being fools universe

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 9 months ago

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well, well, well, if it isn't my old nemesis: Dialogue Between Three (3) People

#text #personal #writing #aw #dp #honestly i don't know why i have a hell of a time with this but i DO lmao #everything gets a tag #no wait that's too many tags get rid of the tags--wait now who the fuck is talking??#okay okay okay let's throw some gestures/bodylanguage/movement in here to attribute dialogue to speaker WITHOUT the tag #NO WAIT TOO MUCH MOVEMENT WHAT ARE THEY SAYING!!!!#anyway it's fine i'm fine #i just. write my dialogue in stages usually lol #which works Fine between drafts for convos with two people because it just alternates #i have a hell of a time doing it with three though #and i'm looking at a first draft so it's JUST the stripped down tags or nothing at all XD #process!! why are you like this!!!#(i got around it in the hardcopy handwritten version because i underlined pidge's dialogue to flag it for italics later)#(but i think i'm gonna move away from that actually)#(even when he's speaking Bird lol)#writing is a scam tell your friends

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