#it’s the first time i write such a long chapter XD

[avirael]

Peace of Mind

There was something incredibly soothing about the daily business of the Silver Bazaar.

The same familiar friendly faces, simple mundane tasks he could help with, no unforseeable occurrences disturbing the peace. A’viloh loved this place and it’s people from the bottom of his heart. They had taken him in the way he was, like he had always been one of them, and he knew they would always welcome him back with open arms. And this was exactly what the townsfolk and Kikipu had done when he had appeared not only without announcement but also visibly shaken at that.

A’viloh had pretty much fled Ishgard. Hadn’t even bothered to return to his room at the inn. There was nothing there that belonged to him. The few things he possessed and wasn’t carrying with him still were at the room in Fortemps Manor and he certainly wouldn’t return there ever again. As late as it was he had gone straight to the place where the Haillenartes had accommodated Cid and his team for the time he spent working at the Skysteel Manufactury.

“A’viloh?”, the man had asked with a yawn, visibly torn from his sleep, as he opened the door.

“You have to take me to Ul’dah.”, the Miqo’te had demanded without any word of greeting, much to Cid’s confusion. Of course he had tried to question him but A’viloh hadn’t let him and in the end he had agreed to have Biggs and Wedge fly him to his destination early the next morning.

The few hours it took for the sun to rise he had spent at the chocobo stables. Yugiri had taught him enough so he was able to sneak in there unseen and so he spent the night cuddled close to the soft warm plumage of the black chocobo Haurchefant had gifted him, silently crying about how lost and alone he suddenly felt. The bird had made a low, almost purring, sound and nuzzled his head with her beak until A’viloh wrapped his arms around her long neck and buried his face in her dark feathers.

The airship departed as the sun rose and after wondering for a bit wether or not he should, he decided to take Chloé with him. The chocobo was rightfully his, so the caretaker at the stable did not protest, and yet it somehow felt like theft to A’viloh. But the bird seemed quite attached to him and for the Miqo’te she was a welcome companion now that he traveled alone again. He had left his other chocobo at the stables in Ul’dah on the day of the banquet and there he still was right now, as Pipin had assured him. A’viloh hoped that the two of them would get along well and also that they might be useful to help with tasks at the Bazaar.

The flight had been uneventful and quite fast for the distance. It wasn’t even noon, when he thanked Biggs and Wedge, who planned to stock up on a few materials before flying back, and said his farewell to them. Then A’viloh got his second chocobo from the stables of the Immortal Flames and soon was out of the buzzling city and only a short distance away from the next best thing he still had to a home.

As he slowly rode towards the small settlement he felt such a strong feeling of familiarity that it made tears appear in the corners of his eyes again. He had not noticed how tensed up he had been until now all the pressure fell off of his shoulders at once.

At first all the people curiously eyed the two tall chocobos before they quickly realised who traveled with them. As a few of them stopped in their tracks to greet him, the news of his arrival spread like a wildfire among the townsfolk. No one had expected him and his sudden appearance was like a special happening for this quiet small village. It only took a few minutes until an excited voice hurried closer and made A’viloh instinctively turn his head.

“A’viloh? Oh, it’s so nice to see you!”, the lavender haired Lalafell exclaimed as she ran towards him. Blinking away tears A’viloh knelt down to greet the woman with a smile on his face and a tight embrace. “Kikipu, I’ve missed you so much.”

Happily she smiled at him before observing the two chocobo’s and looking around for a bit. “Are you on your own this time? Where is Rael?”

A’viloh’s expression visibly soured. Like a sulky small child he claimed, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

For a few seconds the Lalafell quizzically stared at him. While it would have been just like her to scold him for such behaviour right away or at least pry the truth out of him, she must have decided to take a more careful approach to figure out what was wrong with him. Such a sudden visit, all things considered, and at that alone and despite his best efforts to hide it in a quite desolate shape, he should have expected for Kikipu to see through it all.

“You look horrible, my boy!”, she stated instead of insisting on the subject of Rael any longer and worriedly grabbed one of his hands with her tiny ones.

“I am fine.”, A’viloh tried to assure her but she simply made an incredulous face. “You look tired, A’vi!”

He shrugged. “I am…”

“Outright exhausted!”, she added. “Have you been eating properly. Come! I’m going to make you some food.”

“I am not hungry, but thank you.”, he claimed although he had barely eaten anything since days.

“No, no!”, Kikipu protested and pulled at his arm. “Come on! Tea and food for you! And then some rest! There’s still plenty of time for talking once you recovered!”

There was no arguing against her. There really never was. And so in a way everything was just like it always had been here at the Silver Bazaar. If there was any place where he would be able to find peace, A’viloh thought, it would be here.

Without too much protest he let the Lalafell woman coddle him for a bit until the accumulated tiredness of the last week overwhelmed him. As his eyes fell shut, after drinking tea with Kikipu in a comfortable sunny spot, a deep dreamless sleep finally embraced him.

***

To A’viloh’s surprise the first few days at the Bazaar were incredibly busy. Everyone wanted to hear from the faraway city he had visited and the other curious places he had seen. A lot of the townsfolk also asked for his help with some work or transporting thing back and forth to and from the crossing or city. He had been grateful for the fact that he could help at all and also keep himself busy.

All this time he had tried not to think too much about everything unpleasant that had happened lately and especially not about the way he and Rael had parted ways. And for a while this had worked perfectly fine. But the more time he spent here and the more he settled back down into this peaceful daily life, just as a certain calmness slowly returned to him his thoughts began to wander. Back to the events of the last weeks and months. Back to the people he had simply left behind in Ishgard. Not only Rael, but also Tataru and Alphinaud to whom he hadn’t even given a single word of excuse or goodbye.

But especially his thought returned back to that night where he had stood only one step away from the abyss, his heart and mind overwhelmed by grief and pain and fear. He still felt all of that, still understood what had led him there to that ledge and yet thinking about how all of this could have ended, now that he was here among the people dear to him, deeply shocked him.

If Rael hadn’t been there… Maybe the Viera had been right with everything they had said. As painful as it was to admit this, but maybe he had lied to himself all along. Of course he had gotten a little bit stronger in the last year but apart from this he still was the same person. Although he had tried to become someone else, deep down he still was just terrified little A’viloh pretending to be alright. Pretending to be brave and pretending to want a new life for himself. Pretending to everybody and himself too.

While in reality he still hadn’t made his peace with everything that had happened before he had even washed ashore at the Silver Bazaar, he had gone to Ul’dah wanting to make up for all the pain he had caused. Wanting to finally return some of the goodness that had been given to him by Kikipu and the others. Wanting to help people, who needed help like he had needed it.

As he had tried so desperately to be something more than he had always been, to finally be useful, ignoring the protest inside him, he had not even noticed how he slowly accumulated even more weight on his shoulders. More pain and grieve. More guilt and self-hate. With every little failure and loss he had encountered along the way. Instead of healing he had pushed himself closer to the abyss step by step.

Maybe it was the best, for himself and for everyone, if he just admitted that he was not made for such a life. Maybe it was for the best if he just stayed here, taking some simple jobs here and there, not much more than was necessary to keep himself and the people here alive and happy. A quiet uneventful life.

And yet…

With each passing day, he found himself wondering more often. Not in the busy hours but instead in the silent moments. When he sat down at noon to have lunch in the shadow of a canvas awning, when he went to bed and could not sleep until late at night, when he opened the windows early in the morning and felt the salty wind rolling in from the sea pulling at his hair.

Then he wondered. About all the unfinished business. A whole city in turmoil. All the people he had left behind there.

Diligent, caring Tataru, who had always remained optimistic and cheerful despite everything.

Young Alphinaud, who himself was struggling and yet tried so hard to improve and make up for his mistakes.

Rael.

A’viloh was not sure anymore if he knew who Rael was or if he ever had known. But he knew Rael had always been at his side this whole time. Whenever he had felt bad Rael had been there for him and he also knew he owed the viera his life multiple times already. So did it really matter that Rael had kept this secret from him? He had known all along that something was bothering Rael. He had known that here were things they could not talk about. An he also knew that this hadn’t been easy for Rael either.

Again and again he wondered. What were all of them doing now? What were they thinking of him? And more often than every other question: Were they alright? Or maybe in danger?

Silently he kept asking himself this over and over again. One day, after he had picked up a delivery at the Quicksand, he even wondered if he should walk over to the Hall of Flames and see if anyone there knew about current happenings in Ishgard. As his chocobo kwehed impatiently, A’viloh had vehemently shaken his head and told himself that Kikipu was waiting for him and that everything in Ishgard would be perfectly fine now that he was no longer there to make everything worse.

And still the thoughts and worries returned day after day. Until one morning he stared out of the window with a vacant expression, entirely lost in thought. Kikipu stepped beside him, a mug in hand, and looked at him for a moment. “What‘s wrong?”, she finally asked.

Her voice startled him. Nervously he continued to put some things into a small backpack, readying himself for another trip to the city. ”Nothing. I was just distracted for a moment…”

“I see.”, with a stern expression the Lalafell put down the mug and placed her hands at her hips. “And will you finally tell me now what you are doing here?”

“What I am doing here?”, the Miqo’te repeated as if he didn’t understand the question. “I am supposed to take these things to Ul’dah of course and buy supplies instead.”

The small lavender-haired woman didn’t move one bit and just kept seriously staring at him. “Don’t play dumb with me, A’vi. I meant why you returned here and are staying so long, while your friends are still in Ishgard.”

“I told you I am not needed in Ishgard any longer. You almost sound like you want me gone…”, he answered, keeping his gaze fixed on his bag instead of risking to look the Lalafell in the eyes.

“A’viloh…”, Kikipu said with a sigh. “My dear, you know that you are always welcome here. But we also both know, that you haven’t been telling me the whole truth. So you better spit it out now!”

With furrowed brows A’viloh looked at the small woman, who in return stared at him with a serious unwavering determination on her face. Yes, there really was no arguing against Kikipu. Yet alone lying to her.

“Something horrible happened.”, he admitted finally before adding, “And I fought with Rael.”

To be honest he was not even sure if this were the right words to describe what had happened. Probably not. And yet it felt like it.

“Oh no… Why didn’t you tell me ealier?”, Kikipu asked with worry in her voice.

“I didn’t want to bother you…”, A’viloh explained and while this wasn’t a lie, in reality he had just not wanted to tell her the whole truth. He still didn’t want to. How where you supposed to tell anyone you loved that you almost threw yourself off a cliff anyway? Neither did it feel right to him to just retell the secret Rael had kept so carefully, even though by doing so they had lied to him.

The Lalafell sounded and looked a bit reproachful, when she addressed him again. “You are never bothering me. Please, sit down and tell me what happened.”

A’viloh shrugged uncomfortably and suddely pretended to be in ahurry. “Maybe later, I should really go now…“

But Kikipu wasn’t going to let him evade her this easily. „Uh-uh, the delivery can wait! Now, stop running away and tell me what’s wrong.“

Stop running away.

Somehow the way she said that reminded him of Rael. Running away… Was this really what he was doing?

With a sigh A‘viloh put down his bag again.

Maybe he could tell her at least a bit. Maybe it would help somehow…

[shyoko]

☆Mornings with Enhypen. ☆

This writing is my own; no copies, adaptations, or translations are allowed. (English is not my first language.)

hii! I know last time I did a poll about what chapter you wanted, and the most voted one was a Sunghoon oneshot. I’ve got most of it written, but I’m trying to write the smut part, and I just can’t, lol. I’m not good at writing that kind of thing; I’m more into soft stuff, as you’ve probably already seen. So I ask for a bit of patience while I try to figure out how to write it. Thanks for waiting and for your support! XD

Still, since I don't want to leave you without a chapter, here’s this one. I hope you like it! love u ❤❤❤

Heeseung☆!

Ah, he really wakes up late and hates when you pull away from him while he’s resting, as he finds it impossible to sleep without the warmth of your body against his.

When your alarm interrupted your deep sleep, you couldn’t do anything but turn it off and decide to get out of bed to make it to work on time.

But something stopped you from leaving the bed: Heeseung’s long, strong arms, trapping you against his body. A soft groan escaped his lips. "It’s too early, baby. Come back to sleep for me, okay?" he asked tenderly.

"Baby, you know I can’t, I have to get to work soon," you replied, trying to break free from his strong grip. With some effort, you managed to free yourself and sat up.

The bed shifted right behind you, where Heeseung had been sleeping soundly. He had now sat up comfortably, watching you change. "Baby, rest. You still have a few hours before you have to get up," you said sweetly, trying to get him to rest a little longer.

"You know I can't sleep without you," he said with a pout on his lips and his arms crossed.

"You're such a crybaby, Hee," you said with a playful smile.

jay☆!

He usually wakes up early and makes breakfast for both of you while you get up and get ready for work.  

 Your body turned in bed, instinctively seeking the warmth of your boyfriend. But it was in vain. There was no warm figure there to embrace you. A soft hum came from the kitchen, and peace returned to your body. For a moment, you feared he had already left for work, like so many mornings, leaving you alone to get ready. You hated that. You loved sharing mornings with him.

You got up and walked to the kitchen, where the silhouette of your boyfriend moved naturally as he cooked. On the stove, the sweet scent of pancakes filled the air. Without thinking twice, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his bare back. His body gave a slight jolt but quickly relaxed. A soft laugh vibrated in his chest before he took one of your hands and lifted it to kiss the back of it gently.

"How did my baby sleep?" he asked sweetly, turning off the stove. "You should go get dressed while I finish breakfast," he added in his raspy voice, still heavy from just waking up. He loved pampering you in every way possible, but taking care of you in the mornings was, without a doubt, one of his favorites.

Jake☆!

As soon as you wake up, he notices the lack of warmth in the bed and decides to follow you around the house like a little puppy as you go through your morning routine.

 You wake up carefully, gently moving Jake’s limbs that are still tangled with yours. His embrace gives you an incomparable warmth, the kind that makes it so hard to leave behind each morning.

The moment he feels the absence of your body, his hand reaches out across the bed, searching for the warmth that was there just moments ago. His eyes, still heavy with sleep, slowly open until they find you. A smile lights up his face as he sees you are still nearby.

It doesn’t take more than a minute before he gets up and follows you around the house. Jake can’t stand being away from you, especially not at this hour. Every time you stop—whether to brush your teeth or have breakfast—his instincts lead him to find you. Without hesitation, he snuggles against your back, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. From time to time, he lets out soft sighs and leaves gentle kisses on your neck.

In the mornings, he’s not much for words. The only things you’ll hear from him are whispers of "I love you" and the occasional groan when you try to move away. Jake is so affectionate that, until you walk out the door, his arms will stay wrapped around you

Sunghoon☆!

Sunghoon and you always open your eyes at the same time in the morning. He loves sharing a morning routine with you so much that he will wake up hours before his work starts just to be with you.

 Your mornings are always romantic and sweet. As you open your eyes and turn to Sunghoon, you expect to find his still sleepy face, the one you’ve come to adore so much. When your gazes meet, a small laugh escapes both of you, filling the room with warmth.

You stretch your arms and legs, trying to shake off the sleep, but Sunghoon wastes no time. Before you can move too much, he’s already wrapped you in his arms, showering your face with soft kisses. His small laughs between each kiss make you smile, turning the morning into an even more special moment.

From the moment you both wake up, everything is done together. Preparing breakfast, eating, brushing your teeth, showering... any routine becomes lighter when you’re with each other. Between each task, Sunghoon finds ways to show his affection: little nudges with his hips, his fingers intertwined with yours, stolen kisses on any exposed part of your skin.

He may not be as affectionate outside the house, but in the intimacy of your home, all his shyness disappears. There, Sunghoon becomes the most loving and clingy version of himself, holding onto you as if he never wants to let you go.

Sunoo☆!

He manipulates you a lot with his tenderness and affection to get you to wake up early so he can enjoy your presence in the morning, something you're clearly incapable of denying. 

 Your peaceful sleep is interrupted by soft lips scattering little kisses across your face, accompanied by sweet whispers from a voice you'd recognize even from miles away.

You slowly open your eyes, finding your boyfriend hovering over you. As soon as he notices you're awake, his smile widens immediately.

"Good morning, angel," he greets you with his cheerful and energetic tone. You wonder how someone can look so cute and be so lively at six in the morning. But the answer is obvious: because it's Sunoo.

"Angel, I know it’s early, but… if you don’t have breakfast with me, I’ll have a terrible day," he pouts slightly, giving you small nudges to encourage you to get up. "Come on… do it for me, okay?" Hope shines in his voice.

And of course, you end up giving in. You have breakfast with him while he enthusiastically tells you about his day’s schedule, how much he’ll miss you, and, of course, how much he loves you. He won’t let you back in bed until you give him his goodbye kiss at the door.

Jungwon☆!

Many times, you love to pamper him by bringing him breakfast in bed, knowing how much he adores it. He works so hard—what else could you do? Plus, his big smile when he sees the breakfast is the best thing you’ve ever seen.

 You wake up earlier than usual, worried about Jungwon, who has recently been rushing off to work without having breakfast. You know that’s not good for him, and it concerns you that he might feel dizzy or weak throughout the day. So, you carefully prepare his favorite breakfast and place it on a small portable table.

You head towards the bedroom, planning to wake him gently. When you enter, you see him peacefully sleeping in bed. You approach, softly touching his shoulder to wake him up.

When his eyes open, the first thing he sees is you, holding the delicious breakfast and smiling, which makes his heart melt instantly. In that moment, he can’t help but think how lucky he is to have you by his side, to have someone who does all of this for him, no matter what.

He sits up slowly, places the breakfast aside, and with a gentle movement, takes your wrist, pulling you towards him. Surprised, you fall onto his chest, and in that moment, his hand caresses your hair tenderly. Then, he leans towards your ear and whispers softly, but with deep emotion: “What have I done to deserve you, my love?”

Ni-ki☆!

Waking up Ni-ki is one of the most complicated missions, he loves the morning battle that forms when you try to wake him up and he resists over and over again.

 You wake up as you do every morning, knowing that the large body resting beside you will not help you get up early or have a quiet morning.

As soon as you move, he knows what’s coming and, as usual, covers himself with the blanket all the way up to his head, blocking any attempts to wake him with light or old tricks.

"Oh no, don’t start like every morning, Riki. Get up before I pull you out of bed," you say, knowing that the war has just begun. His laughter starts to fill the room, enjoying the morning game that always gets him out of bed, and he’s having way more fun than he should.

"Alright, you asked for it," you exclaim determinedly. You push his blanket-covered body toward the floor, but nothing happens. The blanket shifts with the force of his laughter. You won’t give up that easily, so you go for plan B: you jump on him without warning, making him lose all the air and a surprised groan mixes with more laughter.

"Oh, come on," you say, pretending to be tired of the situation, although deep down you love these moments with him. You grab the ends of the blanket and pull it down to his shoulders, face to face with him while you’re still on top. Riki’s smile is so wide that a wave of butterflies flutters in your stomach. His hands caress the sides of your face, pulling you towards him for a sweet, long kiss—a kiss that you knew would stay with you all day long.

❤❤❤

[kyri45]

Not me abusing the asks to both share my love for the bioparents AU AND rant about the panels because none of my friends are in the LMK fandom and I'm suffering here so TAKE MY LOVE AND APPRECIATION ABOUT YOUR ART I guess x)

So first of all

I am a SUCKER for that kind of leaning in frames I'm going to print that and plaster it on my wall THEY ARE EVERYTHING /hj

I almost jumped of my chair when this one popped up YOU FED US GOOD its so worth the angst train incoming. Of course the panels before and after were equally as amazing but if I start going about every single panel we're still here in three days AT THE VERY LEAST LOL

Of course this one made me laugh like please their little faces

Using that to point out how much I love ALLLLLLL the silly faces you put in your comics I'm munching on them every single time they're crushy like chips or something just. Nom nom. Yummy.

Poor Nesha (Nesha? Nezha? Neja? I have no idea on how to write his name I already forgor LMAO) needs to be payed more. He tries to save MK and ends up dealing with two lovesick teenagers demons who have no concept of time/place/occasion apparently. Poor him. He gets a pat on the head for his troubles

And of course just the "NOPE I'M KEEPING HIM" mode and honestly we should have seen it coming- Red son was planning to courtnap him and didn't sleep in the past 5 days so he's not having any bullshit YOU'RE NOT TAKING HIS NOODLE BOY AWAY-

Could bet he spent so long thinking about the cournapping in the 5 past days his brain just cannot process that yeah maybe you need to let him down you're just going to drag him in more troubles- Either that or he's just going full protective mode. Both options are good anyways sooooo :)

We stan a protective boyfriend in this house.

---

And finally I'm SOOOOO hyped about whatever is coming next like I know that technically we're supposed to suffer but please I climbed up the angst train so many times now I'm just enjoying it by that point lol. It'll just make the following fluff even more worth it

Also I cannot wait to see MK's plan about the contract I'm so curious I'm dying I love you boys but I really want the plot to progress you can go back to kissing later lol

Finally, thank you for creating this AU. It's stumbling randomly upon it on my tik tok fyp that dragged me into watching Lego Monkie Kid and really THANK YOU FOR THAT. It's such an amazing show I CANNOT BELIEVE I didn't discovered it sooner so really thank for having created this comic because else I could have missed LMK and that would be just saaaad

Fun fact: since I had never interacted with LMK the first time I read your comic, I for some reason thought Macaque was a female (and I probably would have thought the same of Wukong if he wasn't called... well, Wukong because I randomly stumbled upon the myth's Wikipedia page at some point in my life XD). The shock I felt when I heard Macaque for the first time in the show because his voice was soooooo not what I expected x) I'm still laughing at myself to this day

So yeah, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, and I can't wait to see what you're going to pull next :D Wish you allllll the best <3

(I can totally wait, of course, it's just a figure of speech. Take your time, I could wait forever for the next chapter)

ahaha thank you for such a lovely comment!! Glad the scene gived "MINE" vibes as I was planning ahah.

Youu're welcome! It's an honor to serve this fandom. *bows*

[ichiwashername-o]

Coming soon to a Tumblr near you-

Dangerous Secrets, a modern retelling of the classic Wizard of Oz with a Wicked twist. Join Dorothy as she travels across Oz to seek out the Wizard for his help to get back home! Along her way, she meets a colorful cast of characters, each with their own dark secrets that Dorothy must unravel. And so too does the dark hidden underbelly begin to emerge from behind the bright shining curtain that is the face of Oz.

---

And now, finally, an update on my fanfiction and plans for how I intend to post the stories!

To bring everyone up to speed, I am re-releasing some long-forgotten Wicked fanfics of mine, and also uploading a rewritten version. This story features a slightly aged-up Dorothy (17 yrs old) from a more modern day, giving her far more nuance and agency, and a bit of resistance to all the shenanigans she's getting thrown into.

To not spoil the fun for all of those who are new to my work, I decided to post both old and new chapters simultaneously, so you can then pick and choose which version you want to read first (or even read at all XD)

That does mean that updates will have a sizeable gap between them. How long? It's impossible to say. A lot of this hinges on a multitude of factors, such as the demand of my day job and if the writing gods smile upon me or send a plague of writer's block upon my house. I also intend to add illustrations, which will add to the time between updates, but I promise it will be worth the wait.

As such, I am hoping to build up a bit of a buffer before I begin posting. That way I can do my best to minimize time between posts.

The first chapter will be released THIS THURSDAY, the 16th.

I hope you all are excited as I am! And I will see you all then!

[sugoi-and-spice]

Taking Care, Taking What's Mine - A "Play Nice" Commission

Summary: A Play Nice AU Chapter, in which, rather than taking the high road and trying to build a real relationship with the girl he's been sextorting for weeks, Tomura Shigaraki baby-traps her instead.

CW: Quirkless!AU, Dub-Con, Smut, Extortion, Baby-Trapping, Forced Pregnancy, Love-Bombing, Manipulation, Power Play, Possessive Shigaraki, Yandere Shigaraki, Morning Sickness, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

AO3 Link

A/N: Happy fucking Father's Day readers!! Lmao! I got this AMAZING commission a while ago to write an AU of my AU (a fanfic writer's dream come true honestly), of Shigaraki baby-trapping MC and well, while it took longer then I meant it to to come out, I'm so glad that I could post it on Father' Day of all days lmao.

Anyway though, this was so much fun to write. Shigaraki has been on the journey of bettering himself for so long in Play Nice now, it was a total blast returning to form and writing him nice and scummy again.

I'd love to do more of these honestly, so as a reminder: I give discounts on Commissions that take place in my AU's.

Play Nice, Burnt Bridges, Step by Step -- all of them. They're super fun for me to write and most of the heavy-lifting of ideating and plotting has already been done for them, so I'm happy to write fics like this for cheaper. :)

Anyway, enjoy some forced parentification on this day of dads. xD

“Hey, hey— are you alright?”

She lifted her head from where she’d been resting it against her gym locker, the coolness of the metal being the first thing to even remotely ease the headache she’d been fighting for the last three days. 

“Yeah, of course,” she tried to force a weak smile as Nejire approached her, clearly concerned, “Why do you ask?

The captain was dressed in her practice suit. And she quickly realized that so were all the other girls, most of them already making their way out the doors to the pool deck. She was the lone straggler who hadn’t even managed to undo her uniform tie yet. Nejire looked over at these girls, and then back to her, wordlessly demonstrating why that should be obvious.

She laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head, “Okay, I guess I’m feeling a bit under the weather today…”

And that was the understatement of the century. She felt like absolute shit . Piling on top of that stubborn pounding in her head were a pair of really sore tits, a lethargy that stuck with her no matter how much vending machine coffee she chugged, and cramps that had shot straight out of hell and directly into her uterus.

But to be honest, she couldn’t complain too much about these ailments. In fact, she was pretty damn relieved. These were all her tell-tale signs of PMS. They were a little worse than usual this time around sure, but if that was the tradeoff for the relief of not being pregnant, she’d take it in a heartbeat. Her period was only one day late at this point and it had all but paralyzed her with fear.

Of course in retrospect, the fear did seem a bit silly. After all, Shigaraki’s creepy family doctor had warned her there might be some changes.

“I never start patients new to birth control immediately on a Long Acting Reversible Contraception,” he explained, “Especially not teenagers.”

“Why not?” she demanded, “It’s reversible, right? It’s not like you’re tying my tubes or anything.”

“No, but you never know how your body is going to react to the hormonal shift. You could develop acne, weight gain, hair growth—”

“I don’t care about that superficial stuff.”

“... Migraines, blood clots, depression,” he continued, looking at her pointedly.

She looked away, feeling a bit stupid for interrupting him now that he’d listed the more serious side-effects.

“I’m not saying you have to stay on the pill forever. But give it a few months, see how you feel on it. It can help us better determine which long-term birth control is best for your body without any unnecessarily invasive procedures.”

She shuddered at the very thought of being stuck in this set-up with Shigaraki for months. She hoped he’d get bored of her sooner rather than later.

Well, on the brightside, at least this sketchy-ass doctor seemed to be as interested in looking under her skirt as she was having him down there. However, this still left the ever so pertinent issue of:

“Okay, but there’s still the issue of getting the pills. No pharmacy is going to give me these without signed parental consent.” She had the always convenient Japanese purity culture to thank for that.

Ujiko simply smiled and pulled out a wheel of birth control pills from his medical bag right then and there.

“Consider these the same as this appointment,” he said, cupping his hands over hers and placing the wheel firmly into her palm, “ Off the record. ”

And then the rest of the “appointment” had descended into one of extremely thinly-veiled intimidation that bizarrely enough, she’d relied on Shigaraki of all people to save her from. By that point, she’d been scared so shitless she had very little argument left in her to try and reason him into just giving her the damn IUD.

The regret of not standing her ground on the issue did hit her later that night on the train home. Particularly when she thought over the fact that the way they were keeping these pills off the record was by having her pick up her refills through Shigaraki. The idea of giving him even more power over her like that made her feel sick to her stomach. And yes, while logically she knew that he had just as much motivation to keep her from getting pregnant as she did (she had a feeling All for One would not take too kindly to his star successor knocking up a lowly commoner such as herself), she still just had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

So she’d resolved herself on her first refill day to completely lay into Shigaraki for any level of tomfoolery he may get up to in this situation. There would be no forgetting, no being too busy to pick up the pills for her, absolutely nothing. She was ready to rain full fire and brimstone on him if there was even a hint of bullshit.

But to her surprise (and relief), she hadn’t even crossed the threshold of his bedroom before he was tossing a new pack to replace her wheel with. Simple and nonchalant, and then he was just as quick as always to badger her about getting her clothes off already, get on the bed already, break up with your boyfriend already.

It was the same old, same old — for better or for worse. Even if she couldn’t trust Tomura Shigaraki himself, that action had at least ensured that she could trust his own desire for self-preservation.

And that was better than nothing she supposed.

Back in the locker room, Nejire asked her, “Do you think you’re coming down with something?”

She smiled at her friend, joking, “Nothing I don’t come down with every month.”

Nejire tilted her head in confusion for a moment before the lightbulb visibly lit up in her head.

“Ohhhhh,” Nejire nodded sympathetically, “Yeah, Aunt Flow can be a real meanie sometimes, huh?”

She laughed, then winced as the action worsened the throbbing in her head,  “Damn it— you can say that again.”

Nejire’s brows furrowed and she brought a hand to the small of her friend’s back, “Hey, why don’t you take this afternoon off?”

She looked back to her, surprised, “Oh no, I couldn’t…”

“Sure you could!” Nejire chirped, “And honestly, you probably should. We’re working on our weakest strokes today. I had you down to work on your fly.”

Visible dread filled her as she thought about doing that much undulation in her current state.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Nejire laughed, “Seriously, go home. We’ll miss you, but we love you too. So we want you to take care of yourself.”

She debated a little more internally, one other loose thread dropping into her mind’s eye.

“If I do… Do you mind—”

“I’ll let Mirio know,” she shot her a wink as she clarified, “ After practice. I’ll let him know you just need the peace and quiet.”

She smiled at Nejire, genuinely grateful. This. This right here was what made all of the bending over backwards she did to fit in and please others worth it. To be cared about by such a good person. 

The warmth of that care stayed with her all the way out to the school gates, where she was then immediately filled with dread upon realizing that she’d need to go in one of two directions depending on where she was going after school: the train station home, or the walk to Shigaraki’s.

And just which direction she was scheduled to go today.

She let out a long groan, anguished and loud enough to startle a couple members of the going home club that passed her. For once though, she didn’t care about her reputation, she was too focussed on what a goddamn nightmare she was falling into.

She pulled out her cellphone with a sigh. Yes she knew the effort was probably futile, but damn her if she didn’t at least try.

Yup. She could’ve seen that coming from a mile away. She sighed as she shoved her phone back into her bag and started the very slow trek over to Shigaraki’s. 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Shigaraki said as he looked her over his doorway, “You look like shit.”

She shot him a wholly unimpressed look as she shoved past him into his bedroom.

“Yeah, I fucking told you.” 

Shigaraki, surprisingly, didn't have anything to say about her tone, even with her brusqueness towards him being more than usual. He just watched her drop down face first onto his bed and curl her legs up into her chest.

She sighed at the slight relief the position gave her. While dealing with Shigaraki’s antics was about the last thing she wanted right now, she supposed that at least she could be grateful for how much closer his apartment was to her school then her own home was. It saved her a good fifty-minutes of white-knuckling a train stanchion to keep down her groans of pain. Now at least she could get the relief of laying down much sooner.

If only for a little bit.

“What’s going on?”

She bristled at Shigaraki’s voice, the unwelcome reminder that she wasn’t going to be able to truly relax right now. And while there didn’t seem to be any entendre or even impatience in his question, the fact that his voice was getting closer to her was enough to make her suspicious.

“My head aches, my back aches, my boobs ache — everything aches,” she grumbled down into his sheets, “And I feel like I’ve been donkey-kicked straight in the uterus.”

“You start your period or something?”

He didn’t sound sarcastic when he asked it, not that typical boy way of asking any time a girl did something they considered “moody”. It was a genuine question. But it irritated her all the same. 

Everything seemed to be irritating her these days.

“About to,” she answered, “It’s like a day late, but it’s definitely coming.”

She felt the bed shift a bit as he sat next to her.

“Are you nauseous at all?”

Her brows furrowed, a bit confused by the interest.

“I guess a little,” she answered, because even though it was mild, there was a certain turn in her stomach that wasn’t unlike motion sickness, “But honestly, I think it’s just from the pain. This has been going on for like three days.”

“Have you taken anything for it?”

She could’ve laughed if she wasn’t so annoyed by the reminder of all her futile attempts to alleviate this. Because of course he was looking for a quick fix so they could fuck already.

“I’ve taken everything for it,” she groaned, “Nothing’s working.”

He just hummed in response, and then she could feel the sheets behind her dip a bit as he repositioned himself. Into what orientation, she wasn’t sure. She was about to turn her head back and ask him what he was doing when she felt his hand featherlight across her hip.

And between her legs.

“No, Shigaraki please,” she whined, pulling he knees closer into her chest, “I’m not kidding, I’m seriously in a lot of pain—”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Tell that to your hand then,” she snapped as his fingers tried to wiggle their way between her clenched thighs.

“I mean I’m not doing anything for me. This is for you.”

“Oh is it now,” she deadpanned.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” he insisted, more irritably this time, “Orgasms help with cramps, right?”

She stilled, sufficiently stumped by that particular statement. Because yes, she could say from experience that they absolutely did. She’d spent many a nasty period with her fingers latched to clit to chase that particular path of relief. 

…but why the hell did Shigaraki know that?

She gasped as she suddenly felt the gentle roll of her clit under three fingers. Apparently, in her moments of distracted deliberation, Shigaraki managed to push his hand past the plush lock of her thighs and under the hem of her panties.

“Sh-Shigaraki…” she whined, pushing her elbow blindly and weakly back towards him.

He caught it gently in his free palm and, rather than trying to pin or strain it in whatever which way he desired, like usual, he just held it there. Didn’t even hold it in place really, just shielded himself against its determined path towards his ribs.

“I’m serious,” he said, uncharacteristically soft, “I’m trying to help you.”

She finally mustered up the strength to — despite how much her aching abdomen hated her for it — turn and glower at Shigaraki.

“No funny business?” she pressed.

He settled his own flat expression on her, “When have I ever been funny?”

More times than she’d like to admit honestly, but she got what he was saying here. He was a pretty serious, straightforward person on principle. He didn’t bullshit, he didn’t pull cheap tricks, and, shockingly enough, he didn’t typically lie. Frustrating as it was, Tomura Shigaraki was pretty much always unapologetically himself and he always did what he wanted.

So if he said that he was doing this to help her, then she supposed that she didn't actually have a lot of reason to distrust him.

Plus, his fingers hadn’t stopped their soft, but affective ministrations between her legs, and the pleasant sparks of heated relief they were sending through her were undeniable.

She turned back onto her side with a sigh that was half-exasperation, half pleasure.

“Fine,” she said, throwing back quickly before he got too victorious, “But fuck around and I’ll kick you.”

Shigaraki just chuckled, a soft throaty sound that shouldn’t have sent the chills up her spine that it did, “Yeah, yeah…”

In one motion, careful not to jostle her too much, Shigaraki both pulled her back and scooched himself closer, until her back was nestled snug against his surprisingly firm chest and her head laid in the crux of his bicep.

With this new closeness he was able to be a bit more deliberate with the angle and pressure he used to rub at her swollen sex. And, while she hated to admit it, the increased blood flow between her legs was causing the pressure within her to build quite a bit faster than usual. Enough so that it had her letting go of the tension in her neck and joints — the automatic stress reaction she had to any of Shigaraki’s displays of intimacy — and letting the weight of her head drop fully into his embrace.

A shuddering sigh left Shigaraki at that clear relinquishing of control, of the way she truly let herself lay back and relax into him. It gave him the encouragement he needed to enjoy her to the fullest extent that he wanted her as well, burying his nose deep into her hair. 

He started to stroke wider circles around her, the flats of his fingers never leaving her clit, but now allowing the tips to dip softly into her entrance. He didn’t push them in at all past his first knuckles, just enough to catch some of that growing wetness and spread it all across her fluttering lips.

“A-Ah—” she gasped out, “Sh-shit…”

“Like that?” he rasped, hot against her ear.

She bit her lip, nodding needily, “Mm— Mm-hmm…”

He groaned at the response, doubling down on that motion as he started to stud long, hot kisses down the back of her jaw and neck. The feeling, so gentle and intimate and good in combination to the way he worked her sex, had her unconsciously rocking her hips into his touch, and back into his own.

Vaguely through the haze, she could feel the familiar outline of his stiff cock against the cleft of her ass, but shockingly he didn’t try to grind it against her for relief. If anything actually, when her own hips moved unconsciously back against it, he actually shifted his own hips away, anglind them down so his erection pushed into the bed instead. As if he didn’t want her to feel it, that he was concerned about her feeling pressured by its presence.

She didn’t have the chance to think too much into that though, not when his fingers were coaxing her closer to the edge by the second. The mess between her legs was obscene at this point, through teary eyes she could see the overflow of it spreading wide across her thighs and pooling down in the sheets. 

“God look at you, so fucking wet,” he groaned, lips having made it down to her shoulder and staying there so that he could have a better view of her writhing under his touch, “You needed this, huh? Fucking needed me…”

She buried her face into his arm to muffle her moans, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an answer, but also not wanting him to stop.

By some act of God, Shigaraki didn’t push for that answer either. She wasn’t sure why he’d abandoned his typical demands and taunts, didn’t threaten to stop until she gave him the verbal submission and begrudging praise he always wanted. Nor did she stop to think about why, she just let the gratitude course through her, spurred further and wider by the waves of heat rushing through her body, threatening — promising — to overflow.

Shigaraki could feel that axiomatic tension in her body, the boiling point it promised, and sped up his hand to stoke the flames.

“You’re close aren’t you? Oh yeah, you’re close…” his kisses turned to nips at her neck between progressively more demanding growls, “Gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

Fuck, hearing those last words spill from his mouth should not have done what it was doing to her. But it was speeding up her peak, and it was speeding it up audibly.

“Yeah, yeah that’s good, really good. Let it go. Go ahead, be a good girl and let it go.”

She cried out, her arching back forcing her face forward and mouth unmuffled as finally, finally her body went blissfully loose, the pain of the past few days overtaken by waves of heat and pleasure. One after the other, her hormone-driven sensitivity wrung out multiple orgasms, and his frantic fingers were happy to work her through each one until she was begging him to stop.

“Good girl, yeah, yeah, just like that. That’s a good girl,” he continued to praise, returning time and again to that phrase he could feel her getting unconsciously excited over, “That’s my good girl…”

It was just a few blurry moments of consciousness after that. She was pretty sure she whined something like “too much” to him at some point, and he whispered back something that she was sure was just utterly debauched right back. Or maybe it was sweet nothings, he had really favored those by the end of this escapade after all. 

Whatever it all was, she supposed it didn’t matter. All that mattered in those seconds of labored breaths and fluttering lashes was the beautiful bliss and relief that finally overtook her body. That allowed her to immediately fall asleep in his arms.

Shigaraki held her there for a long time after. He raked his eyes greedily across her body, letting himself carve every detail deep into his memory. He knew he didn’t need to, not anymore. Her boyfriend, her parents, hell, whether or not she got into Todai with him, it was all a non-issue now. There was no reason for him to lose this anymore. She wasn’t going anywhere in life without him. He was going to be able to revel in this sight for the rest of his life now. And he just couldn’t believe how lucky he was for that.

He chuckled a bit at that. Well, maybe lucky wasn’t the right word. This was all by design after all, weeks of very deliberate planning and deception. It was just like he’d always been taught. It didn’t matter what hand you’ve been dealt — and Tomura Shigaraki had certainly been dealt a shit hand in a lot of ways — a real winner made his own luck. 

Sensei would be mad, Shigaraki knew that much. Everyone would be mad in fact, but he didn’t care. He was just following the fundamental lesson Sensei himself had instilled in him the day they met. 

Take whatever you want, and fuck all the rest.

Several minutes into hearing those sweet deep breaths of unconsciousness from the beautiful girl in his arms, Shigaraki finally peeled his fingers away from her cunt.

And slid a wide hand up to cradle her tummy.

It was dark when she woke up, not a single one of Shigaraki’s many monitors or television lit the windowless room. That was odd for a couple of reasons, the first of which being that the overhead lighting had definitely been on when she’d dozed off. The second of which was that any time Shigaraki wasn’t preoccupied with helping her study or studying her, he was chronically attached to at least one screen, if not multiple, so it was more than a bit odd for him to have zero on. The reason for the lack of blue light however became quickly apparent as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness.

Shigaraki wasn’t here.

She was totally alone in his room, alone and tucked into his bed. Had he gone to the bathroom or something? But then why would all the lights be off? It seemed like he’d probably been gone for a while. Weird…

She threw off the covers and flipped her legs around with much more ease than she’d done anything over the last three days, much to her relief. However long she’d been out, the sleep had clearly done her some good. The pounding in her head and pelvis had finally ceased, perhaps just in time for her to actually start her period. She did feel some dampness between her legs after all. Although…

Her face heated up as she remembered the much more likely cause of that.

Damn it, she thought with a groan, dropping her head into her hands. She couldn’t believe that she actually let him do that to her, for her. He was going to get entirely the wrong idea from it. The idea that she might actually like him and want to spend time with him, that there was some kind of connection between them that extended past the time she was required to spend with him to keep him satisfied. And she absolutely could not deal with that.

Being his little sex toy was one thing. A demoralizing thing, yes, but a manageable one. She’d seen the way Shigaraki treated things he objectified — games and magazines and the like. He got bored of them quickly. And if she was one of those things in his eyes, then eventually he’d get bored with her too and she’d be free.

If he was attached to her though? Had found connection in her and a desire to keep her in his life? She didn’t even want to consider that nightmare scenario.

She made her way out into the hallway, looking up and down from the empty bathroom on one end of the hall to the top of the staircase on the other. She didn’t have to contemplate the lack of presence on this floor for long though, when she heard Shigaraki’s voice echoing up from downstairs, talking emphatically to Kurogiri, she assumed. 

She couldn’t hear exactly what he was talking about, but whatever it was, he was being particular about it. “Don’t overcook” and “perfect” were a few of the words she managed to catch, so it was about food, maybe? The accompanying sounds of sizzling pans and clanking cookware would certainly support that. As would the smell that suddenly hit her.

It wasn’t an unpleasant smell by any means. In fact, it was salmon, one of her favorites. But for some reason at that moment, the smell hit her with a particular intensity that made her feel overwhelmed.

And really fucking nauseous.

She just barely made it to the toilet at the end of the hall, not even fully down to her knees by the time she was emptying her stomach into the bowl. It wasn’t just a brief moment of sickness either. The bouts were loud and long, she was sure that it echoed throughout the entire apartment. It left her red-faced, skin covered and hair clumped with sweat, not to mention still gagging long after she had nothing left to gag on.

A hand she barely even noticed came to rest on the small of her back in the midst of it all. It was only in the aftermath, spent and dry-heaving that she could process the fact that it was Shigaraki, kneeling at her side, patiently stroking small circles into her clammy skin and encouraging her softly.

“Let it out. Just let it all out.”

She groaned once she finally seemed to have a solid thirty seconds of dry, steady breath. And Shigaraki used that respite to nudge a glass of water into her hands.

“Here.”

She didn’t argue or agree, just took it from him with shaky hands, tossing half of it just into her mouth to swish around and spit the remaining bitterness from her tongue.

 “Drink some of it too.”

She nodded shakily, still too drained and disoriented to be irritated with his telling her what to do, or suspicious of the fact that he was being so nice. 

And still, as she took entirely too long to finish the rest of her water with timid little sips, he just knelt on the ground with her, moving the hand on her back to rest on her knee, thumb rubbing circles into the spot where a bruise would undoubtedly form. 

Finally, after a long, silent stretch, she managed to croak out, “W-What time is it?”

“Only seven,” he answered, “Kurogiri’s got dinner almost ready downstairs. Seared salmon, brown rice, avocado salad—”

She whined, shaking her head roughly at the very implication of food.

“Don’t like salmon?”

“I-I do… It’s just—” she gagged a little as she remembered that smell that had set this all off in the first place, “Th-The smell right now. It’s too much…”

“Oh yeah…” he nodded understandingly, muttering something to himself that she couldn’t quite make out. It sounded kind of like, “Heightened” and “Read about that…”

Her brows furrowed a bit, frustrated and confused. She was getting the feeling that he was really not telling her something.

“W-What?”

Shigaraki just waved her off, “No, that’s fine, that’s fine. Salmon’s not the only thing he made. There’s sauteed spinach, wakame tofu soup, toasted—” 

Jesus Christ, was Kurogiri cooking for an army down there or something? 

Well, whoever it was all for, and as delicious as it all sounded in theory, imagining those foods in practice right now was making her feel sick all over again.

“Mm-mm, Mm-mm!” she whined, shaking her head again.

She didn’t want to risk opening her mouth right now, lest she blow chunks all over the front of Shigaraki’s shirt. Although wouldn’t that be a nice little serving of karma for him…

“You need to eat something,” he insisted, more lecturey than she’d ever heard him, but with a strange gentleness to his voice as well, “And you need to drink some more too. You’re totally dehydrated.”

She shook her head more emphatically at that, which only resulted in her falling forward into his chest. 

He caught her before she could fall any further, scolding her not too harshly, in fact, a bit whimsically, “Is this how you’re gonna be the whole time?”

She pulled her head back to look at him, a confused furrow in her brows that brought the corners of his lips up.

“It’s not a bad look on you to be honest. All weak and petulant,” he brought a hand to pinch lightly at her cheek, “It’s kinda cute actually.”

Her eyes narrowed, finally feeling her stomach steady enough in her to be annoyed. He chuckled, just as amused and endeared by this look as the last. 

“Well how about okayu?” he offered with a patronizing little lilt, “And maybe some ginger tea?”

He clearly wasn’t going to let this go. And infuriatingly, he was right not to. She definitely was in no shape to go home on this empty stomach. 

She sighed.

“Yeah… Yeah okay.”

Going at her own shaking, snailish pace, Shigaraki helped her up onto her legs, pulling her immediately into his side as he led her back towards his bedroom. Normally she’d protest, stick an elbow right into his ribs and storm on ahead of him, but honestly she needed the help right now. So she sucked it up and let him lead her back into his bed. 

But that didn’t stop her from eying him suspiciously as he propped his pillows up behind her and tucked her back in under his comforter, the overall way he doted and fretted over her, even stopping to look back at her one more time from the doorway before he returned downstairs to give Kurogiri the new marching orders.

She dropped her head back against the pillows when finally alone, a bad feeling settling heavier and heavier in her stomach. This was beyond weird, the way he was acting. Sure, the guy was overbearing and constantly demanding of her attention, stupidly needy even. But doting? Not only willing but eager to put her needs ahead of his own? Caring deeply about her actual well-being and not just what he wanted to be her well-being? This was all way too out of character for him.

“…You can tell me. If he bothered you, I mean. N-Not just the Doctor either… If um… If anything’s bothering you.”

She sighed at the memory. Alright, maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. He’d shown at least some capability and even interest in her wants and well-being, he wasn’t a complete monster.

But still, all of this? The cooing and the caring and the, erm, servicing even that he’d done? It felt like too much. Like she was missing something really key about it all.

Like something was wrong .

Whether she ended up getting lost in that train of thought for long, or Kurogiri had already had some okayu whipped up downstairs, she wasn’t sure, but she was startled by how quickly it seemed that Shigaraki returned with a breakfast tray in hand. She cocked her head as he set it up over her lap, this was a lot more robust than she was expecting, and, she realized as she examined everything on the tray, a lot more stocked as well.

There was okayu, front and center for her, yes. But also on the tray was another small bowl of soup (looked like the wakame that Shigaraki had mentioned, a thing of plain yogurt (the really fancy kind that came in the glass jars), a glass of orange juice…

And a little dish of four pills. 

Painkillers or antiemetics maybe? They looked more like vitamins…

“Go ahead and start with the okayu if you want,” Shigaraki explained as he climbed up into the bed next to her, “But I want you to try and get some of the wakame and yogurt down too…”

As he settled down, his legs flush with her own, he continued to rattle off instructions and explanations for the rest of her tray, sending her mind completely spinning, faster and faster, like a goddamn Gravitron.

And she was ready to get the fuck off.

“...if nothing else though, take the vitamins. You need the folate, calcium, iron, and the omega-3 especially, since you don’t want the salmon—”

“Okay, stop, stop, stop !”

Shigaraki paused, having the audacity to look at her like she was crazy for snapping. 

“Jesus—what the hell are you even talking about Shigaraki?!” she demanded, “What’d you say, folate? What? What is all this?”

He cocked his head, clearly playing innocent. Whatever this was, he was clearly enjoying the slow unraveling of it all.

“What’re you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about!” she snapped, “All this attention and doting and food stuff! What the hell is this all about?!”

He just smiled back at her, taking in how pretty she looked, even when mad (especially when mad sometimes), God, to think that this really was his forever now. He wondered if they had a girl, how much she’d look like her. He hoped a lot…

“I just want to make sure you’re getting all the vitamins and nutrients you need…”

He reached over then, spreading his hand flat against her stomach.

“ Both of you .”

She froze.

No.

No, he couldn’t mean—

She tried to speak, tried to ask what the ever-loving- fuck he was talking about, but her mouth had seemed to go dry. She tried several times to open and wet it a bit, but every time she did, it felt like her throat was closing too. It took at least four desperate attempts for her to finally force out one rasped:

“... what? ”

Shigaraki’s grin widened, and he started to rub circles gently across her belly.

“You’re gonna look so cute, all big and round with my kid,” he giggled suddenly as he remembered something, “Oh, and your tits too. I wonder how big they’re gonna get…”

She stared at him, unblinking, unbreathing. Everything but un-fucking-existing.

He couldn’t be serious. He was fucking with her. He had to be fucking with her!

“Th-That’s not funny.”

His grin evened a little, not disappearing outright, but settling away some of its blissful excitement into something more coyly victorious.

“I said it already,” he reminded, “When have I ever been funny?”

She shook her head in disbelief.

“N-No. No, no, no this isn’t— there’s no way—”

“I’ve got the tests ready when you need to pee, but I think it’s pretty clear. These are all the symptoms I read about.”

“No!” she insisted, “N-No, no— this is, it’s my period! It’s just a day late, it’s not—!”

He chuckled, “I know the symptoms can be similar, but come on. When’s the last time you’ve hurled like that thanks to your period? And the sensitivity to smell? You know this is different.”

Crumbling, every argument she could possibly think of was crumbling to dust before she could even get the thought fully formed. And cruel, vicious reality was more than happy to take its place.

“B-But my birth control pills…”

“Fertility pills,” he explained, his splitting-grin returning in full, “I would’ve preferred to get Clomid from the doctor, but it looks like the over the counter stuff and tracking your cycle worked just fine.”

Her stomach dropped. Pieces of memories, peculiar behaviors and nagging thoughts she’d had over the last two months falling into place. How there were stretches of times where he’d cancel their sessions, only to insist they make them up a few specific days in a row. How he wanted to go multiple rounds a lot those days. How he’d stopped wanting blowjobs from her entirely. How he seemed to only want to fuck her from behind or with her knees pressed hard into her chest, positions he could fuck her the deepest in.

And how he’d have her stay still with his cock buried in her after he came. 

Back then, she just thought he was being weird and pervy. And in a way she was right.

Horribly fucking right.

Shigaraki shifted his legs away from her so that he could bring his head down to her lap, laying his cheek blissfully against her belly. 

“Was so easy,” he hummed against her skin, “Like your body was just waiting for me to knock you up. Waiting for me to make you mine…”

His hands moved across her body, one coiling behind her back so that he could pull her tighter into him, the other lacing his fingers through her own. The fingers on her trembling left hand.

“Both of you, forever,” he growled happily, a predator who had finally and definitively sunk his teeth into his prey, “All mine.”

[ninjigma]

Taking place between chapters 6 and 7 of 'One Last Moment' Track: 'Fallin' (Adrenaline)' - Why Don't We (Spotify / YouTube)

It was sudden. One moment he was naming the loads of food he would get for Fox in apology for the hectic evening being chased by thugs, and in the next the helmet was gone and lips were pressed against his. It was fast, and hurt a bit with the slight clumsiness of it catching between teeth, but Quinlan couldn’t care less. In fact, he couldn’t feel anything besides the elation and joy, and how every ounce of self control rose in him to stay still a moment. To let Fox move first.

Then the millisecond was over and Quinlan was tilting his head, letting their noses become less smushed and lips to press a bit softer. One of his hands delicately came to rest on one of Fox’s cheeks, encouraging and calming in one go. It was Fox’s pace, but Quinlan had never been one to hide his thoughts; and he wanted it clear that he wanted whatever Fox gave, no matter if it was clumsy kisses in precarious locations or the bickering over food on late nights.

Quinlan loved. He knew this about himself well, and had already left the order once based on such feelings. He felt for so much sometimes it was overwhelming, and his own abilities in the Force felt like a lightening rod for emotion, even from those long past. Even now he could feel the hum as his thumb swiped slowly over Fox’s cheekbone, and he used every trick in his book not to read anything beyond that surface level. What Quinlan truly wanted was it to be Fox’s own choice to share. His own feelings given freely at his own pace. Of course he couldn’t help sensing the nerves Fox was projecting with how strongly they wavered past the clones walls, but he kept everything else as locked as any shadow can. Locked with the key that would be forever freely offered. That if Fox wanted, he was there, and if he didn’t, he would stay at his side regardless.

If this was the only kiss, Quinlan wanted it clear how much he treasured it. Protected it. Already kept it within his heart where no one but Fox could ever take it away from him.

If it was just this moment, Quinlan could accept it and return to being the nuisance nat-born Jedi that Fox had dubbed him. And he would then use every ounce of that title to ensure they made it through this war anyhow. Because Fox would always be a friend, and for Quinlan, that title was nothing short of the highest importance.

If it was only right now, Quinlan would be happy.

Literally has been sitting in my drafts for way too long as I wanted to write something more for it, but have been too caught up with work to finish it; and I just get too sad seeing it in my drafts every time I scroll to leave it any longer.

Who knows, maybe I will finish writing later and reblog with it/edit the AO3 story. Stay tuned just in case XD

Enjoy! (And enjoy the new Dumpy the frog text divider!)

[muffinsin]

It’s time, everyone…

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to this blog!!🫀

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I can’t believe it’s been so long, y’all! A huge thank you to all who stuck with me from the start and support my works, to all who have joined me on this journey, to all my sweet anons and my lil lurkers and, of course, a big thank you to everyone actively interacting with this blog! And an especially big thank you! to my friend, who has made the awesome imagine above as a surprise present for me!! :)

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And good news, everybody! With this post, the inbox is back open!

Below you’ll find some stats and fun facts about this blog and my writing! ;)

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

➼ I’ve made around 1.250 posts in 1 year

➼ I like to listen to quiet, slow music when I write, or write in silence

➼ The first mutual I’ve had was my girlfriend, @darkittensniper

➼ My first post was my first pinned, stating things like a blog overview, much like the current pinned post

➼ My first HC post was based on the levels of dominance and submission of the Dimitrescu sisters

➼ I have 4 moots XP

➼ I still don’t understand reblogs a year in, rip

➼ I've made a few OCs so far, though my favorite two and most popular ones are Ingrid and Lauren, both funnily enough OCs I've paired with Cassandra

➼ I've written two stories/fanfictions so far. One, the lost maiden, has been abandoned, even as I might return to it should I find the time. The other, Smoke and Mirrors, is at 97 chapters currently and is nearing its completion. Reaching that point I will begin to upload it, too

➼ One of my favorite posts was my feral Cassandra post. My favorite collection is the Halloween one due to how I got to include my fav 2 OCs in it

➼ Sometimes I lock in and write multiple prompts a day. Others take me days XP

➼ I haven’t got a favorite between the three sisters :)!

➼ One of the times I was most active was during the time of August 24 and December 24’!

➼ I write far faster when I'm on my laptop, but usually write tumblr prompts on my phone, as I don't always have a lot of spare time to actually get on my laptop. That's also why there's the occaisonal typo in my work, from the phone auto-correcting things or when I type too fast XD

On a side note- got a cute little Alcina as a present :)🙌🥳 considering painting her👀

[odyssean-flower]

Hey! First, wanted to say I absolutely love your fics!! The winding path of fate has me so hooked, I genuinely love it so much- It had me kicking my feet and guggling at some points LOL.

Secondly- I know you don't take requests so please don't think this is one!!! I just couldn't get the idea out of my head so I thought I'd spread it to yours. So like, what if Neuvi has ruts? I know ruts are usually used in smut but picture this instead- Neuvillette has lived through hundreds of ruts, never having a partener to help satisfy him, so by now his self control is GODLY. However when he's on his rut he does act/feel extra clingy, that he cannot control. After meeting Madame nothing changes necessarily, but one day he'll walk over to her and sheepishly ask her if they can cuddle. Madame would probably have no idea that he has a rut (unless this is post reveal) and Neuvillette most likely wouldn't tell her, so she'd be really confused as to why but probably give in eventually. Then they'd sort of lie down as Madame reads and Neuvi sort of lies on top of her with his head resting on her chest or in the crook of her neck or something. They'd just stay like that comfortably for hours, maybe falling asleep as well. They'd do this multiple times during his rut, and Neuvi would probably spend more time around her as well, or be more touchy (like his hand on her shoulder, perhaps holding her hand? Or doing that finger thing where they like hold pinkies <3) Maybe giving her a surprise hug from behind once as well? (I'm a sucker for those typa hugs 🥲) After his rut they either never speak of his clingy-ness again or go "Yup, this is something we're doing now" and continue the behaviour (With Madame also engaging in cuddles from time to time.) 

Sorry if I rambled, I just haven't been able to get this outta my head so I thought I'd drop this brainrotting thought into your asks xD And lastly, hope you have a day!! Make sure to take care of yourself, eat and drink if you haven't already!! Looking forward to the next chapter!!! (I will eat up anything you write <3)

ok to tell you the truth i've actually been thinking about making this a plot point for some time now but i dont know if it will fit the vibe of the fic??? like its supposed to be a very fluffy, pg kinda story so idk if putting stuff like ruts or heats will put people off

oh but i really like your idea!!!!! i definitely feel like they'd have to work their way up to that point lol. I can see them taking naps together in his office and cuddling after a long day to recharge.

imo before they get more comfortable with physical affection, neuv (in my fic) had a rut i'd feel like he'd make himself scarce during that time to be on the safe side, bc he is a stickler for propriety, and bc he doesnt want to scare mc off (also he's scared by his own overwhelming desire to touch mc that doesnt have much to do with the rut), so he'd be leaving for work early and returning home late. It'd be an absolutely miserable time for him and it'd be raining heavily for as long as the rut lasts. Mc will figure out that something is up but feels like she shouldn't pry. At some point she might get the impression that he's sleeping with another woman

Mc: (trying her best to be super broadminded since this relationship is purely contractual) you know if you really need to you can hire an escort to fulfill your needs. im fine with it

Neuv: (speechless for a minute bc it never crossed his mind you'd think that way and bc he couldn't believe you thought he'd be the type of man to do that) no madame how can you think that i never felt any desire to do such things with anyone else other than you

Mc: (stunned, scandalized, blushing) excuse me????? i thought that we agreed that there will be no physical stuff between us during this marriage????

It goes on like that until the misunderstanding is cleared up. Mc will encourage him to approach her and not deny himself, and even awkwardly initiate. It'll take a while for them to get used to it (they are both very touch starved) but once that happens it'll become a part of their natural routine.

But if it's after they get more comfortable with each other i think it'd probably be like what you described. Marie gets used to seeing neuv sticking to mc like glue for the first few days of every month and makes sure to give those two their privacy lol. Mc would also visit him in his office during this time (it will become known that everyone must knock before entering the iudex's office during the first few days of the month. Some ppl might spread rumors that they're doing freaky stuff in his office but neuv shuts them down quick. I guess intense handholding and cuddling would be freaky for these two considering how long it takes for them to realize their feelings for each other). Clorinde and wrio will tease him like crazy but he doesn't feel embarrassed at all bc you both enjoy it and it's normal for husband and wife to be affectionate with each other lol

[zarvasace]

I have been tagged by @batrogers!!

1. How many works on AO3? 241

2. Total AO3 word count? 1.25mil. Almost to my 3rd AO3 anniversary :D (that's around 1,170 words every day for three years, not counting nonpublished words! Proud of that rate, even if it's slowing.)

3. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Status? about Four. I think this one hits the sweet spot for a lot of people: not too long, a bit angsty, but sweet.

so i admit that the mud didn't do much for me, about Hyrule. Actually the first fic I ever posted on this account, it's silly and I'm surprised to see it so high

incandescently happy, a post-LU happy ending. Posted little chapters every day for like a month which kept it in people's feeds so I think that's why it's so high

what is a stump supposed to do, a random Hyrule & Four one, honestly baffled why it's up here

Rise and Shine and Fall, my successful (by that I mean actually wrote and posted every day on schedule) Whumptober 2022 extravaganza compilation. I posted it all in one work, so it's higher than most other whump fics of mine, but there's a lot in it!

4. What fandoms do you write for? Zelda. In the past I wrote a tiny bit of Danny Phantom and a fair amount of FE3H!

5. Do you respond to comments? Always!! I admit to being SO VERY BEHIND right now, a couple months' worth. I'm trying to keep up on new ones, but I've had some beautiful wonderful readers going through my catalog and I can't always keep up!! XD

6. Fic with the angstiest ending: I don't write a lot of negative endings, so I think this badge goes to Counterbalance, my LU Darks AU. I'm actually fully in love with this fic, it's probably the best mix of silly and angsty I've ever written. It's full of what are essentially OCs but they're all my babies and I love them.

7. Fic with the happiest ending: incandescently happy, post-LU. The whole fic is essentially a fix-it ending, though LU doesn't have an ending yet. XD

8. Do you get hate? A couple silly comments trying to tell me I'm doing things wrong, but not really no! Oh, also can't forget the ask I got that was "Remember that Jesus is your first reader." I think that was meant to be passive aggressive but there's a chance it was meant like, genuinely? Not sure.

9. Do you write smut? Nah. And I don't plan to. Not my thing! Closest I get are vampire bites XD

10. Do you write crossovers? I swear I've done more but the only ones on my AO3 are a Vidow fic done in an original world (Nothing New Under the Sun (crystals, dumplings, jewelry)), and Blood-Sucker's Guide to High School, a Vidow retelling of a very fun vampire novel.

11. Ever had a fic stolen? Nope, but I did have one of my Vidow fake fic book covers stolen for someone's fake fiverr listing. Got it taken down with a DMCA but I was like, why

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Oh plenty. @enrolio and I spent most of 2020-21 lockdowns and beyond cowriting, mostly original stories (1.7mil) but a lot of fic, too (nothing published, but almost 400k worth.) We're currently in the process of working on a big epic original fantasy series, though that's a long-term project. @batrogers and I have done a few alt-POV-type projects too, which have been super duper fun!! Hope to do more.

In that vein too, I feel like the Bad End Links kind of qualify here—so much of the characters and their stories were brainstormed collaboratively and so many friends have contributed details and fics and art, it feels like a fun group project! I've really enjoyed working on it. :D (the encouragement and hype for it also helps a lot!! I'm really hoping to finish this big project out!)

14. All-time favorite ship? Ahhhh a harder question than you'd think, tbh, even if you're limiting it to fic. I've written the most for Vidow, and they're definitely up there (same with Fourdow though I've done less with them.) I do have to admit that Linhardt/Byleth might take the cake, though. They were the first ship I was ever actually obsessed with, and the first romantic pairing I wrote in fic.

I just really adore Linny in general, and I love how the pairing continues and closes off some of the themes in the Crimson Flower route of FE3H. That's the only route where Byleth doesn't become archbishop-slash-dictator, and I think choosing to live life in a small cottage, not particularly contributing too much to the government, builds nicely upon the themes of becoming human and choosing your own destiny, themes that are really missing from the other routes.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My old AO3 account (a couple FE3H fics and not much else) has a series where I wrote the beginning of a fic and then had several different endings planned, each a different ship with Linhardt, but I only ever wrote one. I'd love to read the rest but I have too many other fics calling my name!

16. Writing strengths? Um... Volume and speed? Also AUs. I think I can call myself good at fitting characters into new settings. Also fight scenes are fun and I think I do them well.

17. Writing weaknesses? I feel somewhat weak in the plotting and style realms.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue? You can't count on a reader to know not-tagged languages, so that has to be accounted for in the text.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Danny Phantom, in high school or maybe just after. That's late for a lot of fic writers but... there are reasons for that, and a different discussion!!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? This is an extremely rude question, because I love so many for different reasons. I write things I want to read!! Counterbalance (for the tone) and Blood-Sucker's Guide (for the finished novel plot) are up there but I linked them above, so I'll take the chance to call out a different few—Marvelous Misadventures is way up there, a Wind-focused modern with magic AU. I promise I'm still working on that last chapter (and the epilogue), I just gotta throw everything else aside one month and buckle down. Maybe June, I don't have any fic events planned and 06/23 was the last update. I think some earlier chapters need a refresh as well, once I have the ending written.

I'll also toss White Walls (medwhump, "non consensual body modification: the fic") into this category for how long it is and how proud I am to have finished even a collection this long, and a long walk, a Linked Nexus fic where I did so much math and had so much fun with it. :D

Tagging: @silvrash-797 @toyouhellohowareyou @nopenototdaysatan @skyward-floored :)

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

It felt so real.

What - Yearning. Daryl misses you and your family so badly that it seems his imagination is dreaming you up to keep him from going crazy

When - big time jump to when Daryl finds himself in France (spinoff season 1, episode 2)

Where - the school in France

Pronouns - she/her (howdy, wife reader!)

TWs - language, reference to child loss, self-loathing, sappiness (it's fanfiction, y'all XD ) and Daryl gets a little...'excited' (mild instance of sexual arousal between a married couple)

Perspective - Daryl 3rd person POV

References - some are yet unpublished because this is a significant time skip, which means a few little surprises. Others can be found throughout the series!

Series? - the Slowpoke Series! It's a fun, slow time that sticks to canon to help maintain immersion (as much as you can with adding an oc lol) ;)

Can I read this chapter if I haven't started any part of the Slowpoke Series yet? - definitely

----------------------------

----------------------------

“It's so good to hold you again, sugar.”

Those words, that voice, made him relax into the bed. She was there again! He’d last imagined her when he was being tended to by those nuns, so it was only, what, a handful of days ago?

Wasn’t enough for him, he missed her so much.

“Dare, I want them all. Full stop, every last one.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I knew you’d say that.”

“As if you aren’t wantin’ to take at least a handful. All those kids with just an old woman to care for them…well, now she’s dead, but…” She sighed and held him tighter. “Lou reminds me of Enid. Don’t you think they look similar? M’sorry her name had to be Lou. A lot of things over here are making you homesick, ain’t they? And that poor boy in Maine, named TJ, too.”

He pulled her closer, doing his best to not wake himself up so Y/N would stay with him. He wished that kid, with same name as his oldest, has just gone back to his girlfriend like he'd told him to.

“Our own Louise lights a candle with me for you every day. Those nuns would be proud.”

He swore to himself that whenever these dreams happen, there’s got to be some way it isn’t just all in his head. It was way too real.

It felt so, so real.

But that Louise was lighting candles for him, he knew because Carol told him when she spoke to him briefly over the radio in Maine...

“Did Carol also mention that Lydia’s been drawing you? Or did I write part that in the letter?”

“The letter. Carol and I didn't have much time to say anything.” Y/N wrote him a long, long letter. One part mentioned how both Lydia and Glenn took to getting nightmares again after he left. At Maggie’s suggestion, Lydia had been drawing his picture. Apparently it helps her feel safer.

RJ had been 'retreating more than usual,' also. Adam was acting out, too, so she wrote. If Daryl was figuring it right, the boys losing another father figure probably hadn’t helped.

“Dare, he’s three. Three-year-olds don’t only act out with foster parents, Adam would be doin’ the same with Alden. And RJ is without Michonne right now. That's the greater culprit.”

His wife also wrote how Coco just started calling her ‘mama,’ and correcting her to say ‘auntie’ wasn’t working yet. She chalked it up to her being a motherly figure and the baby assuming all caring ladies were ‘mama.’ He wondered if Gabe knew yet. Ain’t like Y/N hasn’t been a mama to that little girl since Rosita died. Actually, nah, Gabe obviously knew; Y/N would’ve (legit) run to him immediately and told him what was up.

The faces of all their kids ran through his mind over and over, Lydia and Judith and RJ included. Then his wife’s face. Carl. Adam. Hershel. Gracie. Coco. Carol. Ezekiel. Maggie. Rosita. Aaron. Jesus. Jerry. Rick. Merle. T-Dog.

“Oo, I want to be here when T-Dog visits. Has he ever visited?” Y/N chirped.

He wished. “Once. I just think about him a lot.”

“Bummer. He must have been so thrilled when we actually did name our first after him, without you even tellin’ me nothing about how he’d teased you on it! Say, what about Uncle Jesse? Does he visit? He must’ve been happy TJ’s middle name is for him!”

He shook his head. You even visited me before I was smart enough to fall for you. When I fell down the ridge. It was you and Merle.

A sneezing from one of the kids in another part of the building resounded four times. It woke him briefly.

He closed his eyes, focused…

It was okay, Y/N was there. Daryl breathed a sigh of relief.

“I am a mite surprised you didn’t take the floor anyway,” Y/N admitted, peeking over his side to look at where the nun Isabelle was laying down next to him. “Or share with Laurent so the two sisters could share.”

“Neither of them trust me enough for me to share a room with the boy. And she sounded like she didn’t want me on the floor. Must be that I’m gettin’ too old." All I feel these days is tired and sore. "Hell, I don’t think I could get up if I slept on the floor.”

Angel, I ain’t the same without you, I’m a fucking mess. Look at the shit show that I’ve made of things.

His wife whispered, “Hey. You know I can hear that, I’m from your imagination.”

“Y/N, I miss you so fucking much.” Baby, I’m so goddamned far from you all and I don’t know how I’m gonna get out this time.

“No cusses in front of the kids, Daryl,” She cupped her belly, the one he was imagining she might have again. Carol, when she spoke to him, used what little time there was to mention how Y/N was avoiding taking a test because she missed him too much. Y/N didn’t say nothing about it in her letter she'd packed in there during one of his home visits.

How’s that for a reason to hate yourself?

“You should,” shot back another familiar voice. “Leaving your own kin, leaving your woman. Ain’t you learned nothing, boy? Didn’t think you was that much of a deadbeat but here’s proof the apple didn’t fall far from the tree."

Merle.

Damn, it’d been ages!

"Yup. Nanu nanu," his brother mocked, waving his metal stump and glaring. "Here you are, in the white flag capital of the world, surrounded by Euro kooks instead of your own blood.”

“Oh, Daryl, don’t imagine him as cruel again!" Y/N cooed. "Let us both love you if you’re gonna go about having us here.”

Daryl breathed slowly so he wouldn’t wake up. When he felt level enough, he answered, “I don’t have much control over what y’all say.”

“I thought you had some control over it.” Y/N gently pushed his hair off his face. He loved it when she did that. Delicately, she examined the new scar gracing his forehead.

“I blame that old coot what you let whup you on the head as to why you’re seeing things,” his brother crooned.

His wife nodded. “Another concussion, you poor man. But this isn’t a hallucination, it’s just a dream. It’s that good kind of dream where you’re not fully awake but not fully asleep.” She trailed her hand along his forearm.

“Y/N, you’re too good for this sad sack.”

She fired back faster than Daryl knew his imagination could go. “Merle. You love your brother to death and you’re happy he got hisself a wife and family.” Y/N had pushed herself up to sitting in order to scold him. “Tell me you don’t swell with pride seein’ him be a good father and good husband. The cycle stopped with him, and you’re proud of it.”

Daryl, a hand protectively around his wife’s side, was busy trying to figure out what Merle was even doing, whittling?

Ah, he was eating an peach with the knife attached to his metal stump.

Weird, he thought ghosts didn’t eat.

“Maybe I ain’t a real ghost, retard,” was a blunt comeback. “Maybe I’m just a poor copy you conjured up in that concussed little head of yours.” Merle then turned to Y/N. “As for you, kitten, he left you and your brats! Left you when you was up the duff, left you when you don’t even got all your legs no more! How’s he supposed to protect you when he’s out here?”

“Merle William Dixon! I ain’t ‘kitten’ and those ‘brats’ are your nieces and nephews, dick. Noah’s middle name is even for you, so you best watch your mouth, hear?”

Merle smirked and sliced off another wedge from the peach. “There’s my sister-in-law. I had to make sure your square self at least still had that fire in ya.” He offered her a slice, but she crossed her arms.

The expression on her face was so disappointed it made Daryl’s chest tug.

His brother duly inclined his head in apology and raised his hands in surrender. “You’re right, ma’am. Y’all are doing a good job on them brats. And this sumbitch ain’t nothing like our old man, so there’s something.” Merle chopped another piece of fruit. “And it’s always a pleasure to roll with a fellow amputee, Y/N. Not many can relate to how trippy the phantom limb bullshit can get.”

She tilted her head in agreement, rubbed the spot above her prosthetic calf, and settled back down next to her husband with a big sigh. “I do wish Daryl imagined you in a kinder light, Merle, but, either way, I’m happy he watched Mork & Mindy because it got him thinkin’ about you — and now you’re here for him!” Her hand grazed along her bump. “And, you meant to say to him that I was possibly pregnant.”

“Dunno about that, sister, you’ve always seem to know when you been knocked up.”

“That ain’t incorrect,” she confessed, curling in on herself. “Even if I was, it’s possible we had a loss again, Merle. Whether early or late this time.”

“Another reason he shouldn’t be screwin’ around out here.” Merle next words sliced him as if his heart were the peach in his hands. “I'm angry for your own good, lady. What if you had to handle another kid's death, this time on your own?”

The bad memories crashed down like waves threatening to drown him in grief and guilt. He wanted to pummel his brother in the hopes Merle would best him and make him pay for leaving her.

But Merle wasn't actually there. Neither was Y/N. It was pretend. Daryl was just beating himself up in his head, and failing even at that.

Y/N said the words as Daryl thought them: “Why are you twisting the knife?” She swallowed and covered her face with her hands. “Maybe, this mission is w-worth the sacrifice of, of us not havin’ him here right now.”

No. It’s not.

I know you said that before I left to make it hurt less, but it’s not. Listen to your stutter, you know it ain’t.

I should be back there with you, not constantly leaving for weeks at a time. I'm supposed to be home now. I'd told Carol when I reached her on the radio back in Maine that I'd be there in a about a week, which is what she would've told you. This whole thing is horseshit!

“Darlin’, think on happier things or you’ll upset yourself awake or into another nightmare,” Y/N soothed. "You almost woke from anger at Merle just there, which is really just anger at yourself." Her fingers laced into his where his hand rested on her belly. His wish was that his dream would include feeling the baby move. He loved that feeling. Except, he must’ve been waking up because his dream wasn’t letting him feel her hand or her belly very much when he tried. Still, it felt real enough. He’d take what he could get.

“Might could be fun to think back on how beautiful it was making them, if indeed we made another one.” She walked two fingers along his bicep. “Would’ve happened on or around the last night before you left. Or,” she mused, then started to giggle. At that moment, he could even imagine the vibrations of her laughter as if she were really, actually laying beside him. It felt so real! “I wouldn’t be surprised if made them on the day itself, that was soo — oh man, hold up!” She pulled away from him and eyed his crotch in suspicion. “No sex dreams allowed, there’s a bride of Christ in the room! Keep that thing down, deal?”

He almost laughed out loud, and possibly in real life. So long as he didn’t wake up, he didn’t care if he laughed in his sleep. The reactions, the tone, it was all just like his Y/N. And he could hope they had another kid. He’d take as many as came along.

Aw, shit, how far would she even be along, if this one made it? How long had he been away?

“Goddamn, y’all, is this some kinda kink you got?” Merle cut in. “Me and the penguin are still here, you perverts.”

“Oh hush, neither of us are actually here. Him and me aren’t doing nothin’, he just got a little aroused,” Y/N countered. “And to answer your question about another baby, Daryl, I reckon you’ll find out when you come back.” She shrugged. “Unless you reach us on a radio? Eugene is diligent about it, especially now.”

That was another thing she wrote in her letter. Eugene and his radio.

The helplessness crashed back down on him. “I’m tryin’ babe.” He didn’t want to start crying. The nun was next to him and he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop crying once he started.

Merle jeered, “Try harder, Darylina.”

He was right, Daryl needed to. He needed to try harder! What kind of washed out fuck-up was he?

“Sweetheart,” his wife called softly. Her hand caressed his cheek. It felt so, so real. “Margaret — a woman who knows the pain of losing a husband — trusted this to you because you survive. And I trusted you to go, because you’ve got the brains, the balls, and the grit. You don’t die or get bit, Daryl, no. You always come home.”

Bullshit. Not this time.

“Not bullshit. Yes, this time.” She looked to the window. “Merle, back me up.”

“Based on your track record, she’s right, little brother.”

“You may not believe you can or will,” she lifted herself up on her hands and leaned forward to kiss him. It had to have been real. It felt so, so real. But he was not about to open his eyes to see if by some miracle it was. “Despite how you feel right now, my bet is you will get that happy ending. It ain’t coincidence that Laurent said so just like our Judith did! How’s that for a reason to hope?”

Shit, he was about to break down. “Y/N, maybe I don’t deserve that. You saw the shit-show what got me here.” And there came the tears. “I left you, that’s all there is to this. I don’t deserve you.”

“Oh, that word.” Y/N wasn’t a fan of the word ‘deserve.’ “On that topic, what an honest prayer you said to bless the food! So many times you used ‘deserve,’ ugh, but,” she paused, “God loves honesty like that. Very, very much.”

She kissed his eyelids where the tears were starting to slip out, kissed the scar that never seemed to fade, then settled back against the side of his chest and curled one leg around him. With her hand, she rubbed comforting circles along his torso. “And He don’t punish or withhold, that’s just our fallen world. His hand is always out for you,” she murmured. “Say, how long do you think you can keep up with imaginin’ my theology?”

“Angel, I’m already at my limit. That’s why part of me thinks you’ve gotta be here somehow, some parts of this feel so real. Smart stuff like this ain’t in my head.”

“TJ and Georgia would call out your self-hate if they could hear you. You’d owe them a lot of quarters. Hm, and euros, seeing as you're here.”

His chest tugged at their names. “How are they?”

TJ, their oldest besides Lydia, had long hair like the little French kid here. Just one other thing that ripped at Daryl’s heartstrings to make him ache so bad for home it shocked him that he wasn’t bleeding out.

“They’re as good as gold and better. Just like their father.” That phrase he knew was from his memory because she’d said it before. “All of us miss you like crazy. Postal level.”

You shouldn’t.

“Daryl.” Her hand gripped his. There’s no way it wasn’t real. It felt so real. “When I was broken after Carl's death, and I claimed the same stuff — that you should leave me and TJ, that you needed someone better, that your life would be better if we weren’t a part of it — how much did it rip you up? ’Cause even if I hadn’t told you this before, you would have to understand how it’s tearing my insides to shreds hearin’ you think the same.”

Calm. He had to stay calm or he’d be alone again.

“I’m right,” he whispered.

“I have to disagree.”

“I —” his voice went up. He switched tactics and spoke to his brother. “Merle, talk some sense into her. I failed. This is it, this is—”

“—You did screw shit up like a royal turd, but your lady would rip my danglers off if I went along with your pretty little pity party.”

Believe it or not, the tough love helped. Felt genuine, as if Merle really was shouting some sense into him. It felt so real.

He caught his wife giving Merle an air high-five. “Thank you, Merle.”

In hindsight, Daryl figured it must’ve be because Merle, in Daryl’s imagination, had to raise his metal arm to return the five. He taunted Y/N, “You’re welcome, peg-leg.”

Dream or not, Daryl was fixing to bark, but his wife playfully kicked her own prosthetic and taunted back, “Love you, gimpy.”

His brother was smug. “Square.”

As if Y/N hadn’t heard that before.“Trailer trash.”

As if Merle hadn’t heard that before. “Goody-two shoes.”

“Two shoes? Ahem,” Y/N drawled as prim and proper as a southern belle. “Did we not just establish how I only require but one shoe these days?”

Merle slapped his thigh and cackled like a hyena and Daryl couldn’t help but do the same. Y/N joked about her missing calf like she got paid for it, pirate jokes to no end.

Daryl hadn’t felt this light in months, not even close to it since leaving home.

…And to think, it was all a lie.

All fake.

They weren’t really there. Not his wife, not his dead brother. It was all in his head.

“Oh, my sweet mangy hick. Enough moping and angst, enjoy the moment! Merle and I really did a fair job on our banter just there. And you never know, Merle could really be here, seein’ as he’s dead.”

“Y/N, I even miss bickering with ya, goddamn,” he breathed.

“It is one of our love languages. That reminds me — you’re doing great with the French, Dare!”

She can’t be serious. Or, rather, he himself can’t be serious. “Babe, I ain’t spoken a word of it. The letters don’t matter half the time. I swear, these people sound drunk.”

Merle snickered, “Hell, even I speak better French than him. Voulez vous coucher av—”

“—Well, I meant like when you used the dictionary to translate that conjugated verb.” Her voice had gone down when she said this and it sounded, well…how it usually sounded when she was turned on. “If I were there, the part where I’d push your suspenders off your shoulders would drive me wild…”

Stay calm or you’ll wake up, Daryl.

And you realllly don’t want to start a sex dream with some other chick in the room. A nun!

“Get a room, horndogs. The word was ‘conjugated,’ not ‘conjugal,’” Merle spat. “This is why you got all them kids.”

His wife made one of her signature huffs, but didn’t say nothing back to Merle. Into Daryl’s ear, she sympathized, “Being horny is so annoyin’.”

Ha. Blushing even in his dreams. Part of him wondered if he was cracking up in his sleep, too, but either way, it felt good. Felt real. It felt so, so real. “I don’t even know what ‘conjugated’ means, Y/N.”

“Yes you do, otherwise I wouldn’t say it. I’m a figment of your imagination, remember?” Aw man, why’d she have to nuzzle him in the crook of his neck? He loved it when she did that. Mmm, hot damn it felt so real… “And you know that you doin’ something like conjugating a verb in another language would be sexy to me.”

“I told y’all jackrabbits to keep your britches on. Now, Daryl: ‘conjugate’ is when you make the verb agree grammatically with the subject. You’ve heard that word before,” Merle explained. Seemed out of character. And the room looked strange, there was—it was another room now?

Daryl’s thoughts turned to when Y/N and Rosita would speak Spanish. Listening as Judith helped TJ and RJ with phonics. Watching Georgia sing to baby Louise that song Siddiq had taught her in, what language was it?

“Hey. Dummy,” Merle scoffed. “You’re driftin’ off, sweet boy. Gotta stay a teensy bit lucid if you want us here.”

So that’s why the room had just looked different. He’d been slipping.

“I still don’t get how this happens, which is why I think you’re actually here,” Daryl said to both of them. “Merle, you’re probably in…somewhere in-between.”

“What, I don’t get to be in heaven yet? Y/N, you hearin’ this uppity sumbitch?”

“He still has trouble believing in such things, Merle, especially lately. I prayed for your soul, so I got hope.”

“Thank you, sister.”

“Anytime.” Y/N looked up at Daryl and smiled. “Then what about me, dude? I ain’t dead, pinky promise. So, how is it that I come to be here?”

Yeah, he’ll be as sappy as he wants with his wife of ten years. “Maybe you’re dreamin’ about me, too.”

Merle’s kissy noises were interrupted by Daryl firmly telling him to get out after which Y/N smooched him harder than she’d had in his imagination since he’d left America. The smell of her, the sounds she made, the way she would lift her head so he could bury his face in her neck, it all felt so real.

It was when she ran her hand lower down his abdomen and almost reached his you-know-what that it all stopped cold. “Sorry! Aw, shoot — Merle! Get back in here, quick, we got carried away! Well, t-technically it was all you, Dare, but — just, please don’t get a stiffy with a nun in the room!”

“Someone should put that on a shirt,” his brother called.

“Ew, no, Merle! Good Moses, maybe I really should ought to be there if you’re startin’ to imagine messed up t-shirt slogans.” She was only teasing. “Ooh, but if I were really there I could meet little Sister Sylvie! So far, I like her.”

“I knew you would.” Daryl grinned. “The way she is with the boy, she reminds me of you.”

If only you were really here, angel.

Wait, no, I don’t want you here because you wouldn’t be safe. I need you safe.

She brought his hand to her lips. “I know what you meant, sugar.”

Unexpectedly, the nun shifted on the bed, nearly jolting him fully awake.

Slow breaths. Keep your eyes shut, do not open them!

He kept them shut tight and pictured where Y/N had been to try and keep her there.

“What am I, chopped pig’s feet?” Merle grunted.

Daryl relaxed. Merle was still there, and he got back the feeling of Y/N beside him.

“You know,” his wife considered. While she was still there, he was having trouble visualizing her. Was he still close to waking up? “That Sister Isabelle is willin’ to risk sharing a room with a strange American says a lot about how much she’ll give to protect the boy and the others here.”

“Still damn weird she didn’t just share a room, the three of ’em.”

“It is. It’s really weird.” Y/N rested her forehead on his chest. He felt the warmth of her breathing against him. If he focused really hard, he could just about imagine the feel her heartbeat, too. “Maybe she’s fixing to be the first line of defense, with all them other kids livin’ here.”

“Still weird,” he grunted. “Hey, where’d my—” He looked around in his imagination at the room. “Where’d my brother go?”

“Maybe he wanted another peach. Or, maybe you're too close to wakin’ up. Be careful, darling.”

He breathed slowly and kept his eyes locked shut. His frustration was growing. It had felt so real, why was it going away?

Calm. Stay calm so she’ll stay.

“It was also unusual,” Y/N thought, “how Sister Izzy—”

“—Sister Izzy?”

He imagined that her mouth would have twisted in embarrassment. “Yes, I’d probably definitely give her that nickname. You sure know how to portray me realistically.” She started again, “It’s unusual how she didn’t accommodate for your maybe-not-wantin’-to-be-seen-in-the-tub-by-a-nun. By anyone, for that matter. Although,” she reconsidered, “they were nurses who had to change your undies and cauterize your wound, weren’t they?” When he pictured her bottom lip beginning to tremble, he held her closer. “Oh, I hate that they all died but for two! What has this world come to? Why would those men kill them?”

That was something.

The dream got easier to maintain. He felt the curve of her waist. The rise and fall of her chest. It felt real again. It felt so, so real.

Relieved, he didn’t know what to say at first other than, “The water was cloudy enough.” When he was getting treated, bathed, doctored, how hard he wished it was Y/N doing it. Another thing that made him ache, watching them nuns give him medical attention when for the past 12 years it’d almost always been his wife.

He breathed out heavily. “Dunno, when she was in there, it wasn’t too uncomfortable.”

“The habit can have that effect on some. The crucifixes and religious artworks hopefully brought some peace, too.”

“Habit?”

“Nun outfit.”

He tried to hold her even tighter. The way it felt more real than before encouraged him, got him nearly falling off his seat with excitement that he got her back!

Except, the excitement turned into panic that he might lose this moment because he was so happy, as fake as it was.

And it sent him over the edge. Just like that, he was awake. Very awake. And alone. No Y/N, no Merle.

He blinked as the room came into focus.

None of it was real. He’d, he'd known that.

And now he was awake. Lying on some flat, shitty, tiny bed, an ocean away, in a country full of people he didn’t understand, that had walkers who burned you when they touched you, and soldiers who shot up a convent full of nuns who patched up strangers and were only trying to keep a little boy safe.

He didn’t even have his ring anymore. All he had was a snippet on a voice recorder that told the world his name and how badly he'd fucked up.

Daryl turned onto his side, the pain from his burned arm screaming at him, but he didn’t give one flying fuck. Y/N wasn’t there anymore because his stupid ass had woken up! He’d earned the pain, he needed it, he deserved it.

Quietly, he thought to hell with it and let himself weep. He was so fucking done with all this bullshit.

He wanted Y/N back. He wanted his kids back. The fuck kind of brainless jackass was he, leaving them for so long, so much? And for what?

To "see what's out there?"

As if he'd find people who had a cure?

To bring Rick and Mich home? If Rick is even alive, if Michonne is alive.

To transport some creepy French boy to a group of weirdos grasping at the hope of some imaginary friend in the sky who damns them if they don’t do all the rules in the world that He’d let go to shit as a punishment or test?

Really, was Daryl that much of a guilt-ridden jerk-off to still say yes to whatever Maggie asks him to do? It’s a hopeless fu—

“Daryl, I love you so much. Please don’t blaspheme.”

“Y/N?” I thought you was gone. No, you were gone, I woke up! “You’re back?” Holy shit, thank you. Thank you! Thank you, Whoever's up there.

That small, shy smile melted all the ice he’d just had in his heart. “Try not to wake all the way again?”

He didn’t waste any more time blubbering like an idiot, he reached for her and held on. It was still a dream, so he had to be careful to not get too excited or do anything too stimulating. And, don’t worry, he wasn’t about to willingly get a hard-on when there was a nun next to him.

He just needed to have Y/N in his arms again so he could make it through the next 5 minutes without going insane!

For 12 years, she’d been there, loving him in one way or another. For 10 years they’d been husband and wife. Without her, without their kids there, in that strange, foreign place, he was losing himself so quick it brought him to his knees with shame.

Her lips pulled away for a moment. “I wouldn’t agree that you’re losing yourself. I watched Shaney lose himself, it looked different. Daryl, I’m serious,” she insisted. Her fingers tousled about his hair so like how she did in real life that Daryl assumed he was doing so to himself in that half-sleep. “Listen: did you not save that dad and daughter even after they robbed you?”

Big whoop. “You know what those guerrilla shits would’ve done to her." The same thing that got done to you. "And those assholes would prolly have made the old man watch and killed me regardless.”

“Yeah, but you also went back to try and save that gaggle of nuns from those jar-head pieces of shit, that’s got to count for somethin’.” Wait, that was Merle’s voice. He was back, too?

Daryl looked over at the window to see his brother there once more. Merle winked. “My baby brother, the hero. Stay zen if you’re fixing to keep us here, now. Keep hittin’ that sweet spot between dreamland and the real world.”

Y/N beamed at Merle before turning back to Daryl. “And did you not help those children get the medicine, Dare? Heck, now they got access to that whole castle full of supplies and it’s so much more secure. Um, m-minus the moat full of dead ones.”

“I lied to those kids out my ass, Y/N. Lied and didn’t give a damn.”

“And you ensured none of them got hurt, then promptly admitted the lie with what I’d call purity of heart.”

“I cut that boy’s mule loose without a second thought. You see that? He loved that thing.”

“Better than to have failed to back up the cart in time, which would have happened and would have gotten all five of y’all eaten. And it was almost fast enough to escape by the looks of it. One dead mule to the benefit of four living souls is a good outcome.”

“What’d my sister-in-law say earlier?” Merle asked. “Brains, balls, and grit? Not to sound all mushy gushy, but she’s right.”

The memories of falling into that moat of walkers seized him, made him start to panic again. No brains, no balls, he almost died right in there—

“—Baby, shh,” Y/N hushed. Her arms tightly wrapped around him the way she would when his nightmares hit bad. “You survived. No bites. No burns. Not even a broken bone, I don’t know how you managed it again.” Her lips, her chest, her hands pressed against him. It felt so, so real. “But you always seem to.” She kissed him. “You’ve got brains.” Another kiss. “Balls.” A deeper kiss. “And grit. And you’re alive, sweetheart. There’s always hope as long as your heart is still beating.”

“How will I get out of this?”

“You’ll find a way,” she said with confidence. “You simply don’t know what the way is yet.”

“What do I do about the nuns?”

“Help them keep Laurent safe, of course — if you choose to do so.”

I don’t want to.

“You don’t have to,” she assured him.

I want to go home.

“And you will,” she assured him once again.

I don’t want to help them. I don’t want to. I don’t fucking want to!

…God damn it. “But I should.”

“You ain’t obligated,” Y/N responded, but with hesitation that time. “It is up to you.”

Merle was the one to point out, “It’s that conscience of yours, kid. Sometimes you just can’t help but help. I’ve been watchin’ you these past, what is it, 11 years since I got my crusty white ass killed?” He chuckled to himself as he shaved off the final bit of peach before flicking the pit away. “Can’t be too mad at it when it roped you a fine piece of ass to squeeze at night and how many kids because of it?”

“Merle,” Y/N warned.

Daryl could feel his anger rising.

“What, ain’t you relieved I can’t call you ‘sweet little virgin’ no more, son?” Merle kept egging on.

“Daryl, this isn’t really him. Don’t get angry or we’ll both disapp—”

“—So, my thinking is, Daryl, that you just won’t be able to help yourself from bringing that little sissy boy to them nutjobs —”

“Shut up!” Daryl burst out — and opened his eyes in real time. Again? Is he that much of an idiot?

His pulse was pounding. Dread and self-loathing flooded his mind, how stupid could he be?

Immediately, he squeezed his eyes shut in a desperate hope to get his wife and brother back. He focused, focused, focused, prayed, pretended, focused…

“Daryl,” came her voice.

He could hear Y/N, but not see her. It was clear that it was all him forcing the memory of her voice back. It was all in his head.

“Why bother caring that it’s in your head, sugar? Breathe slowly and focus on the feel of my body against yours. I don’t wanna leave you."

“Y/N, I need to get back,” he panted. “I can use their help to do that. Those religious people, the Union of Hope or whoever, Isabelle says they got a good radio. I need that to get back home.”

“Well, there you go! I trust you.”

He reached up to tangle his fingers where her hair would be. His imagination wasn’t letting it happen, so he focused with gratefulness that at least he could still hear her.

“Just don’t abuse their trust, and you’ll be alright,” she softly pleaded.

Don’t break their trust? “Angel, you don’t know what I did to end up in this mess.”

Of all the ways he could have daydreamed her reacting, it was that her laughter filled the room. “For the last time, my mangy hick, I am a figment of your imagination and quite literally know everythin’ inside that brain of yours. And I still love you despite that ‘shit-show’ what landed you here.”

He brought to mind the color of her eyes, wanting, wanting, begging for a miracle that would make her truly there with him so he could stare into them all night. “What would you say if I asked ‘that if I don’t find nothing, what good am I?’”

“Y/N, you can blame our raising for that shit right there,” his brother commented.

“You poor boys. Broken people sometimes make for broken kids.”

Gently, he started to perceive the way she would rub her cheek against his chest when she’d lay down with him. “Daryl? If I were here, I’d say things to try and make it stick in your head that your worth ain’t dependent on what you can offer.”

“What does it depend on, then?”

“Careful, you’re treading into religious waters now, and I ain’t sure you’ve got the bandwidth tonight. But God is involved,” she hinted.

This mess was hopeless, wasn’t it? No winning, no out, no happy ending.

“Angel, I can’t come home empty-handed.” He squeezed his eyes tighter and willed himself to not lose his cool yet again. “I can’t come home with no Rick or Michonne, no cure, no nothin’ but a burn, more nightmares, and more lives on my conscience.”

“You can,” she answered simply. “It ain’t all on you. No — please, don’t get any more upset or you’ll wake up again! Daryl, I’ve already slipped so far away!” He heard his wife begin to cry, but the sound went further and further from him. All he could see were the backs of his eyelids.

Still, he held on as best he could. “Please stay here, angel.”

“I-I would, sweetheart.”

“When I’m back, I won’t even want to leave the walls to hunt if it would mean not being next to you, d’you know that?”

“Let someone else hunt. You’ve done enough to last a lifetime.” Her voice was hoarse the way it had been when she’d said those same words to him about a year and a half ago. “More than enough. Oh Daryl, I’m so sorry we’re going.”

“Not yet, angel, please don’t!”

“Use all those things makin’ you homesick as reasons to hope. Do it for me, sugar. Get yourself home again. Don’t die, don’t get bit.”

“I won’t. I’ll get back to you. Tell the kids I love ’em?”

There was silence.

Stillness.

Daryl lay there, accepting that he couldn’t feel Y/N next to him anymore.

His throat tightened. “Angel?”

He doesn’t know why he bothered. She was gone, he knew it. He ran his finger where his ring should’ve been, if he hadn’t lost it.

“Angel,” he tried again.

Silence.

“Babe, please. Please.”

Silence.

“Y/N, please, one more time, angel.”

Silence.

The pain in him was hollow and cold.

Feeling small and helpless, he lifted his arms above his head and held back a wail of despair. He closed his eyes again and, in his head, he cried out in desperation, “Merle?”

At first, there was no answer. He hadn't expected one. Why should he?

But then he heard a quiet, low, “I’m still here.”

Merle spoke slowly and heavily, almost as if it hurt him to admit it. “I don’t think she’s gonna come back tonight, Daryl. You’ve already fallen out a few times. I ain’t gonna be here much longer, neither. You know that.”

Any strength he had left seeped out like a stab wound, leaving him crying like a child. “I can’t see you anymore.”

“I know, little brother.”

“It felt so real.”

“It sure as hell did. I think you needed it, even if it hurts like a bitch now.”

It had felt so, so real!

But it wasn’t. “I’m alone,” he choked out.

“Nothin’ you can’t handle.” For a moment Daryl could make out his brother’s face again. “You’re a tough sumbitch, so I’d advise you act like it. Quit blubberin’ like a baby and wipe the snot out your nose.”

Daryl sniffed and tried to get a grip.

“Good.” Merle’s voice began to echo. He was almost gone, too. “Now listen here: don’t die, don’t get bit. Get your ass back where you belong.”

The room came into view.

The echoing stopped.

The hollow, cold pain he’d felt at knowing they were gone there turned sharp and hot. Turns out, it was actually the throbbing in his arm. Daryl really had turned onto his side, which positioned his burned arm underneath him. He strained to get off it and flip onto his back.

You know what? The pain from his burned arm didn’t hold a candle to the ache in his chest.

Were those tears on his face, too? Guess he must’ve started crying for real in his sleep. Made sense considering how real it all felt. It all felt so real.

If only his pulse would stop racing, he felt sick.

He was getting damned old.

Instinctively, he tried to fiddle with his wedding band, which is when he recalled yet again how he’d lost it. Only a faint tan line remained.

He closed his eyes, exhausted, and chewed at his lip. Another tear or two escaped and ran hot down his cheek.

A strange part of him wished he hadn’t lied to Laurent about having a wife and family back home. At the time he said it so it wouldn't hurt as much, but…

“You deserve a happy ending, too,” the kid had told him. Just like his Judith had, when she saw how low and unworthy he begun to feel. She told her auntie Y/N, too, of course, not that his wife wasn’t unaware of how twisted his head had gotten into thinking he was no good. It didn’t feel twisted to him, it felt honest. He didn’t deserve them. They were too good.

His wife’s words to him played again in his mind. He may have just been making all that shit up in his brain, but he was only remembering a mix of real things that she’d told him before, over and over in the hopes his stupid ass would accept it one day.

“Despite how you feel right now, my vote is you will get that happy ending. It ain’t coincidence that Laurent said so just like our Judith did! How’s that for a reason to hope?”

He did need a reason. It was getting harder and harder to hold onto hope. Any hope.

So, maybe, a weird kid with long hair like TJ’s who drew a picture of some washed-up bum on a beach three weeks before Daryl showed up was reason enough to hope. He could grasp onto that.

If it would get him home, hell yeah, he could do that.

How the same weird kid told him what his niece had and what his wife had could be reason enough, too. He could grasp onto that as well, if it would get him home. He could do that for them.

Daryl ran his hand in slow, gentle circles along his stomach like Y/N would. Maybe he’d been doing this in his dream, which is why it felt so real.

It had all felt so, so real.

------------------------------------------

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[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think that we are getting book 8 that will focus on Grim since we almost are on the end of book 7? And how do you feel if that what happened and we get book 8 that focus on Grim and Yuu like why are they here all of that? Do you want to see a specific thing that wasn't mentioned in the main story?

Last question how do you feel about twst ending? Would you stay in the fandom or find another interest? I'm not ready for that like if twst ended I will move to twst fanfics 🥲

But to be honest with how they are using the 3D animation as inspiration too now for the new events I have hope that even if the main story ended we will still have plenty of new events coming plus we have the anime coming too and manga chapters still going. I don't want this fandom to die as soon as main story end.

Honestly I don't mind if the game kept going forever 😂 not necessarily the main story but with events and talk about the world.

Imagine something like twst: The New NRC Generation like they did with many animes XD

Okay I talked so much sorry for the rambling.

As I have stated in the FAQ section of my pinned post (I kindly ask that people check that first before sending asks because I have been asked some variant of “what do you think about a potential book 8”/“how do you want book 7 to end” dozens of times; I don’t answer them because the answer is already out there but overlooked, but I feel bad for ignoring so many people 😅):

"I want to actually see Yuu going home and the current students moving on to the next year of schooling. We could focus on how the guys have grown and are growing, how these more mature versions of the characters interact with the incoming freshmen/first years, or the long-term consequences of their OBs (particularly Malleus's, which probably caused an international crisis). It would also be cool to learn more about RSA students after book 7, but I don’t want them to rehash the OB formula."

"As for a potential book 8, I don’t know if there’s enough evidence for it? Book 7 is cramming a lot in right now so it’s possible that all the loose ends will be tied up there. Book 8 also implies a strong focus on Ramhackle, which… I know we love Yuusonas and all, but the game cannot canonically fill in their backstory a ton or it will ruin player self-inserting/projection. That means we’d have to rely on Grim and Grim alone to be the emotional crux that somehow transcends even Malleus’s chapter. I think that’d be hard to pull off, especially since we'd be expecting book 8 to be even LONGER than the 290+ book 7 is. If there's a book 8 at all, it might have to be closer to prologue length...? Because even if they push the Mickey stuff and revealing Crowley's motives to a theoretical book 8, I can't imagine this would take up more parts than book 7 already has 💦"

Secondly, I don’t think “Twst ending” is… the best phrasing? It’s not like the game is going to shut down as soon as book 7 finishes. Live service games close when they’re no longer financially viable, not because they finished a main story arc. Several of these kinds of games continue the main story into a new arc—and while we don’t have any official confirmation of this for Twst, it would be just silly for a money and merch machine to be shut down for an arbitrary reason. If it's not broken, then don't axe it. I would be genuinely shocked if Twst just left the main story untouched after book 7, though it may take some time before new main story stuff comes out, as the writers would have to... you know, write. Running the servers based on events alone, especially when we are not guaranteed new story events every month, doesn't sound sustainable in the long term. There's still going to be new Twst stuff coming out for a long time between the manga, anime, and light novels too. That's at least a good couple of years.

dyugaoydaswqyb Anyway, I'll be staying in the fandom even once book 7 finished; it's very near and dear to my heart ^^ Like I said, I think Twst will probably continue its service for a while. And it's not like you can only have one interest at a time, right??

[dianawinchester03]

Season 3, Episode 1 - The Magnificent Seven

Series Masterlist

Author’s Note: ITS FINALLY FUCKING HERE (saying this as if I haven’t written their sex scene for months now LMFAOOOO) This chapter is LONGGG overdue and for that I apologize once again, thank you my beauties for being so patient and understanding❤️

So the song inspos for the first part of this chapter are One Of The Girls by The Weeknd, JENNIE and Lily-Rose Depp and Good For You by Selena Gomez.

I would 100% suggest listening to the remix version of the songs smashed together while reading for the full experience :) (if y’all know me, I don’t have to say that I’m obsessed with that song LOL)

Don’t be too harsh on me, I’m not versed in writing smut scenes yet so😭be gentle! (unlike dean to y/n hehe) In this scene, you’ll find out where Dean’s nickname ‘Charming’ comes from🙃

Also heads up, you’re probably gonna cuss at me a little for this chapter but it’ll be fineeee XD

WARNINGS: smutty smut smut, fingering, oral (female receiving), p-in-v intercourse, praise kink, dom!dean (minor sub!dean) ENJOY❤️

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Y/N’s POV

Lake Preston, South Dakota

Currently we’re all at one of my safehouses in South Dakota. Sam’s downstairs doing god knows what while me and Dean are upstairs…putting the wand in the chamber of secrets.

Third Person POV

Y/N and Dean were up in her room getting hot and heavy, tongues colliding, bodies bumping. Straddling him while in a passionate make out session, he pulls back, out of breath, his calloused hands resting gently on the sides of her face, “You sure about this princess?? You don’t gotta do anything just because-” His voice is gentle.

Y/N cut him off with a kiss. “Baby I’ve been waiting too long for this and now I know you have too. You asking consent however, is sooooo fucking hot” She said, out of breath, causing a smirk to widen on Dean’s features.

He leaned her back slowly on the bed, both hands bracing the small of her back as she lowered, her back finally hitting the cotton sheets. “Oh yeah?” He teased, kissing along her jaw and down her neck, running one of his hands inside her shirt, unclasping her bra with one hand from behind expertly. She’s stunned by the skill.

He pulled her shirt fluidly off, then her bra by each arm, tossing them both aside, taking his time to gawk at her exposed chest. “Goddammit Y/N” He groaned amazed, peppering kisses all over her chest, then taking a nipple into his mouth, playing with the other between his fingers. “Fuck..” She gasped, throwing her head back into the pillow, Dean’s mouth latched into her nipple.

“See something you like, Winchester?” She teased him. He growled in response. Taking that as a yes, she tugged at his shirt and peels it off of him to reveal his chiseled toned chest. Y/N sucked in some breath between her teeth when he reattached his lips to her sensitive nub, sucking like a starved man on her tits.

She felt a sense of deja vu wash over her.

“You’re so fucking beautiful” He groaned in pleasure, kissing down her body. “Deeann” She moaned his name and he snapped his gaze up at her, his eyes clouded with a mixture of lust and love. He felt that, ‘Deannn’ in the pit of his stomach, and son-of-a-bitch, did he love it. “Fuck you sound so hot moaning my name” He tugged at her jeans, pulling it down to reveal her lacy black panties.

She made sure to put on a pair after both showering separately at Bobby’s house just for this. As much as she would’ve liked Dean to join her, she refused with every bit of self-control she had, ensuring him she’d rather do it here and he respected that, of course.

Dean moaned at the sight and she smirked at his reaction. “Fuck, baby. You’re gonna kill me” He groaned, trailing his fingers along the slit of her clothed mound. “Oh shit” She moaned as he teased her.

He slid her panties to the side, revealing her glistening wet folds. “All this just for me?” He smirked at her, his voice husky and filled with lust. Teasing her clit a bit, a long breathy moan escaping her throat.

“Only for you, charming” She winked back with a moan as he slid her panties off. Positioning his head in-between her legs, he kissed her inner thigh, teasing her and she groaned impatiently. “Dammit Dean, don’t be a tease” She whined, thumping his head lightly, earning a chuckle from him in return.

“Patience Princess” He dove straight in, teasing her sensitive folds, circling around her entrance and now swirling around her clit. She let out a loud breathy moan.

Throwing her head back and grabbing onto the back of his head with her hand. “Oh god Dean!” She moaned his name loudly, arching her back off the bed, burying her fingers into his hair, pressing her pussy deeper into his mouth. “You taste so fucking good” He moaned into her pussy, turning her on even more.

Dean growled around her clit, sending shivers up her core like electricity in a socket, sucking gently as she moaned his name. His fingers trace the outline of her pussy lips, dipping inside of her. “Fuck, you're so tight” He whined, looking up at her, thrusting his fingers in and out of her at a steady pace.

She hissed lightly at the cold feeling of his ring brushing her lips. “Oh fuck oh fuck! Dean!” She cried out in pleasure as he hit her g spot with his fingers, already feeling to cum. “Scream my name, princess” he bellowed out, his voice gruff, almost animalistic. Usually she’s not an easy woman to please but somehow it’s like Dean already knew her body.

“Don’t stop please don’t stop I’m gonna cum” Y/N pleaded, begging for release. Dean whined as he felt her tighten around his fingers, milking his hand. He continued to pleasure her, pushing her further and further over the edge until she’s screaming out his name in ecstasy. “Fuck yeah. That's it. Soak my fingers” He ordered her with a growl.

With that, she heeded to his command. “DEAN!!!!” She bellowed into the empty room, drenching his finger with her juices as he continued to tease her clit. “That’s a good girl” He praised her softly. He slowly retracted his fingers out of y/n’s pussy, slick with her juices. Inching it closer to his mouth, wrapping his lips around his fingers, swirling his tongue like a starved beast.

Sucking off all of her from it. His eyes fluttered shut as he did this. She’s dazzled by the sight of him enjoying the taste of her on his tongue she couldn’t help but say “I need you please” She begged him to fuck her, needing the feeling of his cock filling her up.

Dean's eyes flashed with lust as he crawled up her body, his hot breath tickling her neck as he whispered mockingly. “You want my cock, baby?” His dirty mouth just turned her on more, he seemed to notice the way his dirty talk added fuel to her pleasure and he basked in it.

Y/N had a fair idea Dean would be vocal in bed but THIS. This was just perfect. She nodded slowly, biting her lip as she looked up into his lust filled eyes, “Please…” Y/N pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper, not caring how desperate and slutty she sounded. Her voice was needy and whiny. The tone added to Dean’s desire.

Dean smirked, his eyes full of desire. He threw his legs off the side of the bed, y/n followed, sitting at the edge reaching for his belt, undoing it and sliding his pants off. Her eyes never left his as she did this, a playful smile playing on her lips while Dean’s were parted.

He helped her pull down his boxers, fully taking them off before tossing them aside. Revealing his hard cock, bobbing eagerly. Y/N licked her lips, desperate to know how he felt inside of her, he wanted to know too but she wanted to taste him.

As fucking weird as it sounds, his cock was so damn pretty.

The smile on her lips told him exactly that as Y/N playfully kissed right below his stomach, before licking his trail, earning a desperate whine from Dean. The sound from him practically had her soaking the sheets.

“As much as I would love to feel your mouth on me…” He groaned as he leaned towards her, she moved back, lowering herself onto the back again.

Dean then positioned himself between her legs, teasing Y/N’s entrance. “…I wanna feel you so fucking bad” Staring into his eyes. Her lip tucked between her teeth, “Fuck me” Y/N’s never been so vulnerable with anyone before, so needy, so comfortable. Sure she’s had sex many…many times, but never with this level of tension. Little did she know, Dean was in the same boat.

He shook his head. “No sweetheart, I’m gonna make love to you” Dean whispered into her ear, chuckling darkly as he lined up his cock to the entrance of her pussy.

He thrusted in, claiming y/n as his own, earning a loud gasp from her as her eyes rolled to the back, tilting as he slowly inched inside of her. “Sooo much better than I imagined” He gasped as he entered her, throwing his head back slowly. “Oh god yes!” Y/N’s back arched off the bed as he fills her up slowly. Dean's hips roll smoothly against hers like water, his cock filling her completely.

“That's it, baby. Take it all.” The second he filled her up, allowing her to adjust to his size. Y/N knew it wasn’t anything like what she’s had many times before. With Dean it was so passionate, so raw, so fulfilling, so….real. He groaned, the sound vibrating through her body. “God Y/N. You feel so good” Dean winced in her ear as he kissed her neck sloppily, nibbling on her collarbone.

“Fuck Deaaannnn” Y/N gasped, as she cried out in ecstasy, her mouth agape. “Shit! You’re so fucking big oh my god!” His muscles tense up when she moaned his name, grunting in sheer pleasure. She could feel herself clenching around his big hard cock, grazing over her g spot.

“Faster, please” she whined, Dean immediately picked up the pace, fucking her hard and fast. His hips slam into hers, driving his cock deeper into her pussy. “You're so wet, baby. I can feel how much you love my cock.” He moaned shamelessly.

“Don’t get cocky now, Winchester” she growled at him, gripping onto his bicep, her nails digging into his arm. Y/N’s tits bounced out of control with each thrust. “You mean like the one you’re taking right now, L/N?” He countered, smirking, rolling his hips into hers.

Even having sex these two are flirting relentlessly. Her heart skipped a beat at this, but she’s too turnt on and filled with desire to answer. Dean pumped his hips faster, hitting that spot inside her directly, over and over. She gasped loudly when he did this, practically made of jello under him.

“Oh my god, Dean! Don’t stop pleas- Oh fuck, Deaaannn!” She screamed his name shamelessly, eyes screwed shut from pleasure. “Found it” He growled, the sound sending shivers down her spine. Proud of himself for finding her g spot so quickly. “Oh shit OH SHIT RIGHT THERE!” She gasped, lips parted.

The sounds of their skins slapping against each other in a wave combination of passion, love and lust. Butterflies rising in Y/N’s stomach, her pussy clenched around his cock as his deep moans fill the room along with her moans of pure ecstasy.

“You like that, don't you? You like how hard and deep I fuck you?” A gasp escaped her throat at his wicked tongue. “Yes yes YES!!!” She screamed, not caring who heard her. To hell with who hears, Dean wanted the world to know that Y/N was now his and his alone.

“Deannnnn!!!” She whined needily, a pornstar worthy moan leaving her throat. Dean growls, unable to contain the sound. His body shudders as he feels himself getting closer. “Fuck, Y/N. You're so goddamn sexy. I'm gonna make you scream for more.”

Dean slid cock out of her dripping cunt before yanking her by her feet to pull her back to the edge of the bed, flipping her over her stomach before gripping her hips and pulling her onto all fours, He spanked her ass cheek, leaving a red handprint. The yelp that escaped her was embarrassing but so soooo hot from the way it made her soak.

The dominance radiating off of him, usually y/n’s dominant in bed. But right now, she’s loving the way he’s taking control. He lined his cock up with her pussy again, teasing her entrance then thrusting in, slowly. “Shitttttt” Her back arched as he slowly fucked her from behind. Dean groaned, his cock sliding in and out of her glistening cunt.

Currently it’s taking all in his power not to cum already but he’s loving pleasuring his girl. His hands grip onto her hips, holding her in place as he fucks her harder from behind. The sight of her tattoo on her lower back was adding more fuel in his engine.

“God you feel so fucking amazing princess” He whined, throwing his head back, gripping her hips as he moans, his eyes closed while he guides his cock in and out of her wet pussy.

“Mhhhmmm just like that. Fuck me just like that, just like that baby. You’re doing such a good job” She urged him on, praising him. This encouraged Dean to pick up the pace, his cock slamming against her cervix with each thrust. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her up. Y/N’s back now against his chest. His teeth grazed her earlobe as he growled. “You like that? You want more?”

“Yes! Please!” She begged shamelessly. “Fuck yeah, make a mess all over this cock” He grunted as he slams his hips against her ass, his cock filling her up to the brim. Dean gives her perky ass hard slap before pulling out of her.

He flipped her over onto her back, his cock still hard and glistening with y/n’s juices. “Now, who's in control here, huh?” His tone is filled with authority and dominance. She stared back at him smirking, not answering.

Dean grinned wickedly as he lined his cock up with her pussy again. “If you want this cock, you gotta use your words, princess” He whispered menacingly in her ear, nibbling on the lobe. She whined at his teasing.

“You’re really gonna make me say it? Come on charming, don’t be a teaseee” She whined, making him chuckle deeply. He slowly sunk back inside of her, taking his time to savor the feeling. “I think we both know who's in charge here.”

“You sure about that?” She quipped, egging him on. Knowing that the more she teased him, the better he’s gonna fuck her. Dean growled, his hips slamming into Y/N hard. He snatched her legs and spread them wider, taking more of her pussy each time he thrusts.

She gasped loudly, moaning relentlessly as he ravaged her. “You better believe it, sweetheart.” He growled. Dean slams into Y/N harder, his body covered in sweat. He gripped her hips and yanked them towards him, giving her an extra deep thrust.

“That's it, such a good girl.”

“Deann baby”

“Say it again”

“Deaaaannnnn!”

“Oh fuck, Y/N!”

“Yess. Fuck me just like that! Just like that, oh god!!” She screamed out in pleasure as he claimed her as his own. Dean groaned, his body trembling with pleasure. “This pussy is amazing. You're amazing. I love you so much” He moans into her ear lovingly.

He continued to ramble as the pleasure filled his body. “I love you so much more” Y/N moaned. Dean's eyes roll back in his head, lost in the sensation of her wet tight pussy squeezing him. He grunted and moaned, his hips slamming into her mercilessly. She said his name over and over like a prayer.

“Oh god yes!” She grabbed one of her tits, squeezing the nipple and playing with it. She reached down to play with her sensitive clit. Dean growled, his cock throbbing inside her. He snatched Y/N’s hand from her clit, pinning them above her head, his free hand gripping onto her throbbing clit. “Move your hand baby. You're mine.”

“I’m all yours please, please let me cum” She begs him for release. Dean's eyes flash with dominance, his hand firmly holding onto her clit. He doesn't let up, thrusting into her with more force. “You’re so pretty when you’re begging” He growled menacingly. “Patience. Watch me make love to you. Watch how good it feels.” He teased her.

“Oh fuckkkkkk!!!” Y/N screamed out so loud shes sure everyone heard “Soooo fucking good. Pussy so wet and tight just for me. You’re all mine, princess” Dean's thrusts become even more powerful, his hips slamming into hers. “And you’re mine” Y/N growls back possessively.

His hand detached from her clit, reaching up to pinch and roll her nipple, eliciting a moan from y/n. “That's it, baby. Take it all.” He praised her. She took all his cock filling her up, reaching closer and closer to her orgasm. He gripped her hips tightly, pulling her onto him with every thrust.

Suddenly his pace faltered, slowing down. “Wh-what are you doing?” Y/N stutters a bit.

“I can feel you getting wetter. You want it so bad, don't you?” He whispered in her ear menacingly, edging her along. She could feel his cocky smirk against her neck. “Goddammit Dean! If you don’t let me cum I’ll-” Y/N yelled in a rage of ecstasy, needing to cum but he cut her off. “You’ll what?” He smirked, calling her out on the empty promise as he thrusted into her slowly.

“Dean!!” Y/N yelled at him and he let out a deep chuckle, driving his cock deeper into her, feeling the tight warmth of her pussy squeezing him. This continued for at least five minutes, he grazes oh-so-gently on her g spot each time.

She’d whine, indicating that she’s close. Part of her is enjoying the edging because of how it’s prolonging the love making between two of them but the other part just wants to empty herself all over Dean, show him how good he’s making her feel.

In a snap, his pace resumed to how it was previously and he began to thrust with increasing force the way he was prior. Y/N’s lips are parted, her eyes screwed shut from the pleasure that’s coursing through her body.

“DEAN!” Is all she could muster up, the coil in her stomach is ready to snap. His orgasm approaching closer. “Now be a good girl for me and look at me while cum all over that cock” He whispered into her ear lustfully, pushing her over the edge. Her eyes locked with his, her orgasm hitting her like a train.

“Oh fuck oh fuck OH FUCK DEAAANNNNN!!!” She came all over his cock, her orgasm taking her over in a white hot flash as he hit her g spot repeatedly.

Dean’s eyes widened in shock when Y/N’s eyes flashed white in the way it does when she used her powers as she rode out her high. Oddly enough, it got him going even more. He continued to pound into Y/N, moaning as he felt her tight muscles squeezing him in orgasm.

“Oh fuckkkkk baby. That’s it.” He moaned into her ear, beginning to tip over the edge. He picked up the pace, his cock throbbing inside her as he approached his release. A wicked thought crosses y/n’s mind and she decides to get some payback.

“You wanna cum don’t you? You wanna fill up my tight pussy, Dean?” She teased him in a sultry voice, tightening her legs around him. His gaze snapped to her in one of shock and lust, she just smirked at him and continued saying,

“Cum for me, charming. And then, you can bend me over in the bathroom and drill your cock into my tight aching pussy, let me watch you ravage me in the mirror, make me take it like a good girl. Then we can fuck in the backseat of the Impala, watch my ass bounce when I ride you.” She nibbled on his ear, letting out a seductive giggle.

Before adding in a low sexy tone, “Maybe then I can show you how good my mouth is gonna feel around your big hard cock…” She trailed off from whispering dirty sweet nothings when his cock began to throb inside of her.

“Oh FUCK Y/N!!!” He screamed out in ecstasy, spilling his seed into her pussy, his thrusts growing sloppy and slower. “Fuck! I thought I talked a good game. You got a wicked tongue, princess” He gasped, chuckling heavily as she smirks proudly. “You wanna feel it baby?” Y/N retorted with a wink and a coy smile.

He laughed at her perverse comment, feeling so blessed to know his girl is just as nasty as him. “I love you so goddamn much” He whispered, kissing her lovingly on her lips. Y/N returned the kiss passionately,

“I love you so much more” She whispered back against his lips. “I can win that fight” He smiled slyly at her as he pulled away. She lightly glared at him due to his untimely comment. “Too soon?” He snorted and she nodded as if it’s obvious. “Shut up and get me a towel, Winchester” She chuckled weakly and he laughed along obligingly, giving her a kiss on her cheek before getting the towel.

He wiped her off with the warm towel first, making sure to get all of the mess they both made and then proceeded to wipe himself off. Y/N grabbed the blanket from the end of the messed up bed, throwing it over the both of them as he sunk back into the bed next to her.

He wrapped his arm around her and she settled her head on his chest. The two hunters were practically mush on each other. The both of them remain in a comfortable silence, catching their breaths for a few moments as Dean rubbed his fingers up and down the curves of Y/N’s body, settling his hand in her hair, rubbing it gently with the tip of his fingers.

After about 5 minutes or so, Dean finally speaks up. “So..” He began, kissing her forehead. “So…” Y/N added breathlessly, smiling and looking up into his eyes, her head laid on his chest. “God you’re so beautiful” He whispered to himself, the love potent in his voice.

He then tucked a strand of her messed up hair behind her ear as the two lovers stared at each other lovingly. She tried to hide her blush but he noticed. “Even your blushing makes me hard” He groaned, earning a giggle from her. “Damn, you’re whipped” Y/N teased him, kissing his chest. “Shut up” Dean huffed, his freckle nose tainted a tinge of pink.

Going back to his lovestruck awe, y/n’s expression mirroring his. “You’re so adorable” He cooed lovingly, stroking her cheek with his thumb. His pupils dilated at the sight of y/n, her hair messy, her mascara dripping. “I’m gonna say something and you better not make fun of me” Y/N warned him and he smirks. “No promises babe” He joked and she laughed.

“You wanna know why I’ve always called you charming?” She asked him. “Why’s that?” He asked softly, his thumb tracing her bottom lip. “I think it’s because deep down, I always wished you’d be my Prince Charming” She admitted in a gentle tone and she could’ve sworn Dean looked like he was gonna burst into tears.

“Damn you’re whipped” He retorted jokingly, mocking her with her words from before, laying a kiss on her cheek. She giggled, sighing softly as she looked up into his eyes through her eyelashes.

She noticed the soft content look on his face as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I'm gonna save you, Dean, even if it’s the last thing I do. I promise.” Her voice cracked as tears prick at her eyes, her heart still aching. His face softened even more, a guilty pang at his heart.

“We don’t need to discuss that right now, baby. Let’s just live in the moment. Okay?” He whispered in a gentle tone, holding her tightly. She nodded sniffling a bit. “You know, I’m pretty sure Sam heard us” Y/N snorted, trying to lighten the mood. Dean chuckled, “Oh definitely, we’re not gonna hear the end of it.”

“The way I fucked you into oblivion. I’m sure all of South Dakota heard it” He added in a teasing tone, nuzzling his nose into her hair. A blush raised to Y/N’s face, her cheeks practically beet red. She turnt away, trying to cover her face but he grabbed her quickly by her wrists, turning her back around as he tried to move her hand away from her face while chuckling.

“Awwww don’t hide your face now, princess. Not when you just were all like ‘Just like that Dean just like that. Ohhhh godddd’ ” He threw his head back laughing as he jokingly mocked her moans just a couple minutes ago.

Another smack to his chest from his girl caused him to cackle even more. Come to think of it, the way Y/N smacked Dean’s ass around even before they even got together, he’s pretty sure her love language consists of physical violence in a loving way.

“Hey!” She exclaimed in mock offense. “I wasn’t the one that was like ‘Fuck you’re so tight baby’ “ She chuckled, mocking his groans earlier as he blushed. “Did you know your eyes flash white when you orgasm?”

Her mouth fell open at his comment, earning a snort of amusement from her lover. “They what?!” She exclaimed. "No, I didn't know that," Y/N muttered, embarrassed, turning away again. Dean laughed and pulled her back to look at him. "Heyyy, I'm not making fun. It's cute and honestly, really fucking sexy." He assured her, laying a kiss on her forehead.

“Did no one from before me tell you that?” He asked curiously. “No one ever mentioned it before," She said, leaning her head on his chest. "Then again, I usually close my eyes or bury my head in a pillow,” She explained.

“So I’m the only one who’s seen it” Dean observed, a sly grin spreading across his face. “Oh god, don’t get cocky again” Y/N playfully groaned. Dean feigned a dramatic gasp, earning an eye roll as he pressed his hand to his chest. "Me? Cocky? Never. I'm just stating the facts." He smirked, tracing his fingers up her spine.

“Well, you’re the first and last to see it. I’m just starting facts” Y/N retorted with a smirk, brushing her lips with his. “First and last, huh?” He chuckled, kissing her again. “Sounds like I’m pretty damn special, then.” He joked, making her roll her eyes again.

She pushed him back against the pillows, straddling his hips lazily. "Yeah, well, don’t get too cocky or I might change my mind” She said, leaning down to kiss his neck. A low growl rumbled from the back of his throat as she kissed his neck, his hands moving up to grip her thighs. "You wouldn't" he protested, fingers trailing up her sides.

She hummed against his skin, nipping gently at his collarbone. "You sure about that?" She teased, biting down a little harder, leaving a bruise in her wake. “Keep it up, I’ll make you scream again” He grunted, his grip on her thighs tightening. “Oh yeah? I’m pretty sure it’s my turn” Y/N retorted with sass.

His eyebrows quirk up, “You’re on sweetheart” He challenges, smirking at her. She takes him up on his challenge, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She returned the smirk, moving her mouth to his chest, leaving a trail of kisses down to his stomach. "We'll see about that" she murmured, running her tongue along his hip bones.

He threw his head back, moaning softly as she toyed with him, desperate whines leaving his throat. Round two was locked and loaded.

____________________________________________

•One Week Later

Sam was downstairs, his head buried in a book. Trying to find some way to get Dean out of the deal. Jo had resumed hunting with Ellen, the mother-daughter duo were finally on the same page since the Roadhouse burnt down. He had his headphones jacked in his ears in hopes it would drown out Dean and Y/N’s rather loud activities.

Sam missed Jo like crazy, his heart was screaming at him to call her, but his mind was telling him to let her go. After witnessing Y/N’s demise and now his brother’s inevitable demise, in his mind, he could bring nothing but harm to her. He was forcing himself to stay away from her and it tore into him from inside out.

The ringing over his phone cut his music, so he clicked the answer button, pressing it to his ear. “Hello?” Sam answered, “Hey Sam” Bobby’s voice came through the speaker. “Hey, Bobby,” Sam responded. “Whatcha’ you doing?” The older hunter asked. “You know, same old, same old” Sam sighed.

“You buried in that book again?” Bobby said in a knowing tone, causing Sam to gulp. “Sam, if you wanna break Dean free of that demon deal, you ain’t gonna find the answer is no book” Bobby chided him. “Then where, Bobby?” Sam grumbled. “Kid, I wish I knew,” the older man sighed. “So where’s your brother and Y/N?”

Sam internally groaned, hearing what sounded like a lamp get knocked over upstairs and Y/N’s giggle echo through the floorboards. His face scrunched up in disgust, “Pulling the electorate” Sam deadpanned, gagging. “What?” Bobby asked, confused. “Nevermind” Sam shook it off. “Well, you kids better pack it up. I think I finally found something”

Soon after his phone call with Bobby, Sam pushed himself up from the couch, tossing the book onto the coffee table but was stopped in his tracks when his phone rang again.

Glancing down at the screen, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Jo’s name flash on the screen. His heart thumped wildly in his chest with every second he debated what to do. He wanted so badly to answer, to hear her voice again. To talk to her.

But logic put him against it, she didn’t deserve the bad luck that radiated off of him. Sam refused to put her through that. She may have been his angel, but he was the boy with demon blood.

Reluctantly, Sam let the call ring into voicemail. As much as it pained him to do so, he needed to push her away. For her own safety. Even if it was killing him inside.

-

Sam waited until he assumed Dean and Y/N were done before knocking on the door. Rock music filled the room as the newly-coupled did the dirty, not seeing or hearing Sam enter. “Dean? Y/N? You guys conscious?” Sam asked, pushing the door open before peeking his head in.

“Bobby called, he thinks that maybe we co- Oh God!” Sam groaned in disgust, quickly shutting the door upon seeing a very naked Y/N on top of Dean. Quickly running his fingers over his eyes, trying to burn the image out of his mind, now he really wishes he had taken Jo’s call.

-

The Impala sped down the road, Dean wore a big smile on his face, Y/N was sprawled out in the back seat while Sam looked like he was ready to vomit. “Let me see your knife” He deadpanned to Y/N. “What for?” She mumbled confused as she began to take it out of her boot. “So i can gouge my eyes out” He quipped back, causing her to quickly retract her knife from him. Sam shot his brother and best friend a look of disgust as they snorted with amusement.

“It's a beautiful natural act of love, Sam” Dean shot back, flashing a wink at Y/N through the rearview mirror. She blew him a saucy kiss before saying, “Yeah, get with the program brother” Y/N patted his head before sinking back into the backseat. “That's part of you I never wanted to see, Dean and Y/N” Sam grimaced, the two chuckled as they shook their heads.

“Hey, I appreciate you giving us a little bit of quality time, man” Dean said to him, his mind still racing about his night with Y/N. The psychic bit her lip as she reminisced, the night seemingly having flashed past their eyes. She tried to ignore the nagging at the back of her mind about Dean's pending departure to hell but it wouldn't seem to let up. “Yeah, no problem,” Sam mumbled.

“Really. I gotta say, I was expecting a weary sigh or an eyeroll or something” Dean poked fun at his brother who just shrugged in return. “Same,” Y/N added. “Nonono, you guys deserve to have a little fun. At least now I don't have to witness your god awful pining for each other” Rolling his eyes, Dean huffed, “Oh, you can kiss my a-”

“Uh-uh, not another word, you don’t know what I went through for years of you guys being idiots” Sam interrupted, raising his hand to signal he did not want to hear whatever Dean had to protest with, causing Y/N to laugh in the backseat.

“Oh, come on. We weren’t that bad” Y/N argued. “Yes. Yes, you were” Sam deadpanned, “You guys were both so damn oblivious” They rolled their eyes in unison, “Takes one to know one, dipshit” Y/N mumbled, poking her tongue out at him before crossing her arms over her chest and sinking back into her seat.

Sam rolled his eyes at the comment, “Real mature, crackhead, real mature” He shot back sarcastically but there was no heat behind his words. He was happy that they both got their heads out of their arses and finally admitted their feelings, he was just hoping that they had enough time now.

“What’s Bobby got?” Dean asked, changing the subject. “Not much, crop failure and a cicada swarm outside of Lincoln, Nebraska. Now it could be demon omens-” Sam answered with a deep sigh. “-or it could just be a bad crop and a bug problem.” Y/N suggested. “But it's our only lead,” Sam countered. “Any freaky deaths?” Dean asked. “Nothing Bobby could find. Not yet, anyway.”

“It's weird, fellas. I mean, the night the Devil's Gate opened, all these weirdo storm clouds were sighted over how many cities?” Y/N asked, pushing herself forward to the back of the driver's side seat. “Seventeen” Sam and Dean responded in unison. “You'd think it'd be Apocalypse Now. It's been five days and bupkis” Dean scoffed with annoyance causing Sam and Y/N to frown, “What are the demons waiting for?” Y/N grumbled, pressing her chin on the leather seat.

“Beats me,” Sam sighed, “It's driving me crazy. “I'll tell you. If it's gonna be war, I wish it'd start already” Dean agreed. “I don't know, babe. Careful what you wish for” Y/N sighed, reaching over to gently rub his shoulder. The two lovers shared a look in the rearview mirror as Dean continued down the desolate road, headed over to Bobby’s house to pick up Quinn.

Just Outside Lincoln, Nebraska

The roar of the Impala and Harley filled the empty field. The only sounds in the early morning were the cicadas humming through their ears as Dean put Baby in park and Y/N peeled off her helmet after shutting off Quinns engine. Bobby was already at the field waiting for them, leaning against his truck. “You hear those cicadas?” Sam asked them as he and Dean stepped out of the Impala. “Well, that can't be a good sign” Dean answered with a mouth full of bacon cheeseburger as they all walked towards Bobby.

“No shit, Sherlock” Y/N grumbled, earning a playful glare from her boyfriend, in which she grinned in response. “So we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?” Bobby mused, leaning off of his truck. “Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweating the cholesterol.” Dean shot back, causing Y/N to get that gaping feeling in her chest again and Sam to roll his eyes at his brothers lack of hope.

“So, Bobby, what do you think? We got a biblical plague here or what?” Sam asked, changing the subject, after noticing Y/N’s shift in facial expression. While Dean continued to munch away on his burger, he offered Y/N a bite but she simply shook her head so he just shrugged and continued eating.

“Well, let's find out. Looks like the swarms ground zero.” Bobby responded.

-

Y/N knocked her knuckles against the hardwood of the door to the house in the field, “Candygram!” The psychic shouted. Silence and no one in sight. A confused look overcame the group. No one came to the door. “Well, I guess nobody’s home” Dean muttered as he chewed on his last bite of burger.

Y/N shrugged and pressed her palm to the door, she took a deep breath, focusing her energy on the door as her veins began shining blue. Her eyes flashed a brighter white than usual as she used her powers to sense and listen for anything or anyone inside the house. It was eerily quiet. No souls, nothing. Just silence. Her eyebrows furrowed as she was met with no sign of life.

So instead, she sent a blast through the door, causing it to come clean off its hinges. The four hunters cautiously entered the house, peering into each room only to find them empty. “Where are they?” Y/N mumbled, trying to see if she could sense the family anywhere. “I don't know but it stinks like hell in here” Sam cringed, pressing his nose at the horrid stench lingering around the air.

“That’s definitely not a good sign” Dean grumbled in disgust as they quickly pulled out their guns, all gagging from the rancid scent of decay. Guns drawn, they cautiously crept through the house while trying their best to cover their faces from the overwhelming stench, the source of which seemed to be coming from the living room.

Y/N’s face twisted into a grimace as they entered the living room. They could faintly hear cicadas buzzing from the outside but that’s not what caught their attention. A putrid and foul aroma filled the air, stronger than the previous room as they came across three decomposing bodies. One man, one woman and one young boy.

Flies buzzed around the bodies, their faces sunken in. Bobby gasped with disgust as he rushed into the room. “Bobby, what the hell happened here?” Sam asked. “I dont know” Bobby grumbled as they began investigating. The sound of the deck creaking made Dean and Y/N’s ears perk up. Dean whistled lowly, causing everyone to go on guard immediately. Their eyes darted over to the deck as Y/N gestured she and Dean would go check it out while Bobby and Sam stayed on lookout.

They crept on the deck, armed to the T. Both peered around the corner cautiously, the sound of cicadas buzzing growing louder. They threw a suspicious eye out the door before stepping out. Their steps were light as they crept around, looking for any signs of danger and then a twig snapped. Both their heads snapped to the side an African-American man and woman attacked them.

The man grabbed Y/N, causing her to yell out. She quickly recovered, attempting to fight him off by elbowing him hard in his mid section as the woman kneed Dean where the sun didn't shine. Dean's hands flew to cup his manhood in pain, doubling over as his gun clattered to the ground.

While Y/N was backhanded by the man and was sent tumbling to the ground next to Dean. "SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!" "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" Dean and Y/N exclaimed in excruciating pain, the psychic clutching her bleeding nose as Dean clutched his pearls.

“Isaac? Tamara?” Bobby said in recognition as he and Sam rushed out onto the porch from the sound of Dean and Y/N getting their asses pummeled. Isaac froze when hearing his name as he and his partner looked up in shock at the two new arrivals. Y/N groaned in pain as she sat up on her elbows, while Dean was still doubled over.

“Bobby? What the hell are you doing here?” Tamara gasped, a twinge of an English accent flowing from her words. “I could ask the same,” Bobby chuckled. “Hey, Bobby” Isaac chuckled, uncocking his gun to throw it back over his shoulder as he shook Bobby’s hand. “Uh, hello, bleeding here” Y/N quipped sarcastically, waving her hand in the air.

Dean grunted as he finally began regaining his composure, still clutching his balls. “Could you help a brother out?” he whined to Sam who chuckled at his very obvious pain. “Oh, shut it, jackass” Y/N mumbled as she wiped the blood from her nose.

-

Later that evening, they all ended up at Isaac and Tamara’s house. Dean was on the phone with the coroner, an ice pack resting nicely on his manhood while he sat on the couch as Y/N, Sam and Bobby were in the living room with Isaac and Tamara.

“Honey, where’s the Palo Santo?” Isaac asked his wife, “Well, where’d you leave it?” Tamara responded. “I don’t know dear, that’s why I’m asking” Isaac shot back in a slightly annoyed but gentle tone. “Palo Santo?” Sam asked curiously. “It’s holy wood. From Peru. It’s toxic to demons, like holy water” Tamara explained as she walked over to her husband.

“Keeps the bastards nailed down when you’re exorcising them” She further explained as she pulled out the Palo Santo, handing it to her husband. “Thank you, dear” Isaac smiled sheepishly at her. “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t for me” Tamara shot back jokingly at her husband while he smirked.

Y/N snickered from her spot on the couch as she watched the interaction between Isaac and Tamara, glancing over at Dean to notice his pained facial expression and the ice pack. “So long have you two been married?” Y/N asked curiously.

“Eight years this past June” Tamara replied, sharing a loving glance with her husband who smiled sweetly back at her. This didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N who had a glimmer of something deep in her eyes as she looked over at the couple and Sam had a thoughtful look on his face, both chuckling. Isaac pressed a kiss to Tamara’s forehead.

“The family that slays together-“ Isaac began. “-Stays together” Tamara finished it with a loving smile towards her husband. “Right, I’m with you there” Sam agreed, before asking, “So, how’s you get started?” The room fell silent by his question, Tamara’s loving gaze dropped to a saddened one.

Sam instantly felt bad by asking, “I’m sorry, he’s sorry. It’s not- it’s none of our business” Y/N apologized on Sam’s behalf as Bobby shook his head at them. Tamara held up her hand, gesturing it was fine. “No, it’s okay. It’s okay” she sighed and gave a soft nod.

Dean finally pushed himself up from the couch, still on the phone with the coroner’s tech as he wobbled over, the ice pack still pressed to his nards. “Well, Jenny, while I appreciate the offer for the appletini, I’m a taken man. Have a goodnight” He grimaced at the sound of the woman flirting with him and the pain in his manhood as he flipped the phone shut.

“What, no number?” Y/N teased him as he flopped back down next to her, earning a grumble from him. “You’re just jealous” he shot back at her, causing her eyes to narrow. “Ha, yeah, keep telling yourself that, darlin’” she smirked in response.

“Oh believe me, I will” he retorted, a smirk on his face. Tamara and Isaac exchanged an amused look at the bickering couple as Sam chuckled in response while Bobby simply rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Okay, you two, knock it off” Bobby grumbled from his seat in the armchair, causing both to immediately shut their mouths. “What’d the tech say?”

“Get this. That whole family, cause of death: Dehydration and starvation.” Dean revealed, causing everyone’s eyes to widen. “There’s no signs of restraint. No violence. They just sat down and never got up” Dean explained, “But there was a fully stocked kitchen just yards away” Bobby pointed out, the situation sounding way too unusual.

“Right, what is this? A demon attack?” Y/N added, equally stunned as she reached into the cooler to get another ice pack for Dean. Dean winced as Y/N pried his hand away and gently placed the ice pack onto his jewels, “Thanks” he muttered sarcastically as he began shifting in his seat and adjusting his position.

“If it is, it’s not like anything I ever say and I’ve seen plenty” Bobby stated, “Well, what now? What should we do?” Dean asked through gritted teeth. Despite the pain, Y/N’s hand began rubbing small circles onto his thigh in a subtle gesture of comfort as he continued to adjust in his seat.

“Uh, we’re not gonna do anything?” Isaac chimed in. Their heads snapped in their direction, “What do you mean?” Sam and Y/N asked in unison. “You guys seem nice enough but, this ain’t Scooby-Doo and we don’t play well with others” He responded bluntly.

“Excuse me?” Y/N asked, dumbfounded, “Well I think we’d cover a lot more ground if we worked together” Sam narrowed his eyes at them, “No offense, but we’re not teaming up with the damned fools who let the Devil's Gate get opened in the first place” Isaac shot back with frustration.

“No offense?” Dean scoffed as he began sitting up, his face becoming hard and cold. Y/N gave him a hard look to calm him down, gripping his thigh to stop him from escalating the situation as Tamara quickly intervened before anything got out of hand.

“Isaac, like you’ve never made a mistake” Tamara reprimanded her husband. “Oh, yeah. Locked my keys in the car. Turned my laundry pink. Never brought on the end of the world though” Isaac sassed, rolling his eyes as Dean and Y/N chuckled dryly and Tamara’s head dropped.

Bobby’s hand slowly went to the bridge of his nose in annoyance as Sam shot his brother a warning look to keep his mouth shut, “Alright, that’s enough” Y/N growled at him, a tight glare in her eyes as her hand gripped Dean’s thigh a little tighter, forcing him to stay seated.

“Guys, this isn’t helping, Y/N/N” Sam said calmly to her. Y/N closed her eyes and exhaled before looking at Sam, “Whatever” she muttered, taking a deep breath and slowly loosening her grip on Dean’s thigh while he continued to grumble under his breath.

“Look, there are a couple hundred more demons out there now. We don’t know where they are. When they’ll strike. There ain’t enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us. On all of us” Isaac stated firmly as Bobby’s head dropped in shame, Y/N clenched her jaw along with Dean and Sam eyes softened with guilt.

“Okay, that’s quite enough testosterone for now” Tamara snapped, yanking Isaac by his hand and dragging him out of the room. The room fell silent after Isaac and Tamara disappeared into the kitchen. Y/N’s shoulders slacked as if all the fight had gone out of her in an instant and her hand slid from Dean’s thigh as he sat up on the cushion, crossing his legs carefully to reduce the pain on his balls.

-

It was now later that night, Y/N laid her head gently on Dean's chest as he wrapped his arms around to hold her close as the sounds of the TV playing a western movie softly echoed in the background of their motel room. His chin rested on her head as his eyes were fixated on the screen and Y/N's hand was idly tracing patterns across his chest, the sounds of his breath rising and falling calming her.

“How’re you feeling, sweetie?” She asked him gently, gesturing to his manhood. He sighed, "Still aching, honestly" he grumbled, "But I'll manage, he’s getting better" he mumbled. “Anything I can do to help?” Dean chuckled at her question and shook his head, "I’ll live" he replied.

"Just hope you still find me hot after this" he teased her, earning a gentle smack in the chest from her. "Ow, Jesus. Watch it, woman" he playfully muttered as she chuckled. "I always find you hot, you idiot" she retorted, shifting to bury her face in his chest as his shoulders began shaking with silent laughter.

"You always say the right things," he chuckled, rubbing her back as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "But you know what might make me feel better?" he mused with a smirk appearing on his lips. She lifted her head up to look at him with a smirk of her own and raised an eyebrow curiously, "Oh yeah? And what's that, Mr. Winchester?"

He smirked in response and grabbed her hip with his free hand before pressing his lips to hers. Her lips responded to his as she reciprocated the kiss. His hand on her hip moved to grasp her butt and he lightly moved her to straddle him which caused her to release a small yelp in surprise against his lips before she moved her own hand up to cup his cheek, pulling away to look at him with lust-blown eyes.

"You sure, your little guy can take it?" she asked him, a sly smirk still on her lips. A sly smirk appeared on his face as he moved his hands from her rear to cup her hips, bringing her flush against himself, "Trust me, I'm sure he can handle it" he murmured as he nuzzled his face into her neck and began gently nipping on her sensitive flesh.

____________________________________________

The next day, Sam, Dean and Y/N were outside of a department store where a woman killed another woman just hours ago. Seeming over a pair of shoes, Dean was sitting outside on a bench munching on a burger as Sam and Y/N investigated the scene. The entire area flooded with cops and coroners.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Sam asked, annoyed as they approached him. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked with a mouthful of burger as he glanced at his brother, "I'm taking my lunch break. What’re you two doing?" he added, taking another bite of his burger just as Sam and Y/N shot him an un-amused look. "Werking" Sam deadpanned.

“Dead body. Possible demon attack, that kind of stuff” Y/N sassed, stuffing her hands in her pocket as Dean rolled his eyes and got up from the bench. He chucked his burger in her hands before he began to dramatically cough, clutching his chest. “Sam, Y/N, I’m sorry. It’s just, I don’t have much time left and, uh-” He croaked before letting out an exasperated cough.

Y/N rolled her eyes in annoyance as Sam let out a scoff, unamused. The two shared a sad look as guilt began weighing on Y/N’s chest, "Yeah, right. Alright, I’m sorry” Y/N sighed, “Apology accepted” Dean spontaneously recovered, attempting to take the burger back but Y/N yanked her hand away, taking a bite out of the burger.

He rolled his eyes at her, "You suck" he grumbled as she let out a scoff. "You should know" she retorted back skittishly with a mouth full of burger, earning a gag of disgust from Sam. “Guys, seriously!” Sam groaned dramatically.

“What?” they both shot back together like innocent children having been caught stealing cookies when they shouldn’t, glancing at him with wide eyes, causing Sam to roll his eyes in annoyance. “I really don’t get how you two manage to be adults with the attitudes of two children” he muttered, causing her to shoot him a glare.

Bobby emerged through the entrance, fully decked out in a suit and tie. His once shaggy greying hair, slicked back neatly. Y/N and Sam’s eyes widened at the sight as they choked back on a laugh while Dean’s jaw had nearly dropped down to the floor, craning his neck. "Whoa, looking spliffy, Bobby. What were you, a G-man?" Dean commented with a low whistle. “Returning from the DA’s office. Just spoke to the suspect.” Bobby told them as he fixed his crooked tie.

“Yeah? So what do you think, then? Was she possessed or what? “ Sam asked as Y/N wiped her mouth, handing Dean back his burger. “There's none of the usual signs. No blackouts, no loss of control. Totally lucid, just think she really wanted those shoes” Bobby explained, the three younger hunters shared a look of disbelief as he continued. “Spilled a glass of holy water on her, just to be sure. Nothing.”

“Well maybe she's just some random wack job” Dean suggested as he trailed his eyes down Y/N body. “If it had been an isolated incident, maybe. But first the family, now this? I don’t know, man” Y/N said, shaking her head. Her eyes met with Dean’s, catching him in the act of ogling her. Her eyes narrowed at him but he simply shot her a smirk in response, taking another bite of his burger. “Yeah, I believe in a lot of things. Coincidence ain't one of em” Bobby agreed with Y/N. “Did you kids find anything around here?” He asked.

“No sulfur. Nothing” Sam sighed, shaking his head. “Well, maybe something” Dean chimed in, crumpling up the now empty burger wrapping paper in his hand before pointing to the security camera. “See? I'm working” he sassed, patting Sam's shoulder as he winked at Y/N. This made the two roll their eyes in exasperated annoyance.

-

They were all now in the surveillance room. Sam and Y/N were sat side by side, her feet kicked up on the table while Bobby sat against it and Dean paced the room. “Anything interesting?” Dean asked them as he leaned between their shoulders. “I don't know yet. Might just be a guy,” Sam murmured as he rewinded the video. In the footage, a man began approaching the shopper. “Or might be our guy” Y/N added as she propped herself up to get a better look.

They watched the video intently, the man approached the shopper, pointing to the woman she killed. It seemed as though he was coercing her, the hunters shared a look as the video ended.

-

Sam and Y/N were now in town getting food, currently walking back to the Impala. Dean stayed back at the motel room and Sam tagged along, so they took Baby instead of Quinn. Y/N noticed from the corner of her eye that a young blonde woman was seemingly following her and Sam as they crossed the street. Sam had his head in his phone while Y/N's head was on a swivel, taking note of all the possible dangers around her.

She gave Sam an elbow to the arm to get his attention, “Dude, I think there’s something stuck to our shoes” she murmured to him. He looked up from his phone at her, puzzled as he watched her glance over her shoulder to the young blonde woman trailing behind them. He followed her gaze, catching the gaze of the blonde as she quickly looked away.

"Think she's following us?" he asked in a whisper. "Either that or she's checking out your ass” she whispered back to him, causing him to scoff and roll his eyes as they continued walking. As they reached the Impala, the woman suddenly disappeared. Nowhere in sight.

They both exchanged a look before Y/N shook her head. "Probably just my paranoia” she mumbled to him in an attempt to convince herself, they unlocked the car as Sam opened the driver's door, "I'll drive. You're tired." he mumbled, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. She nodded and got into the passenger seat without protest, buckling herself in as Sam started the car.

____________________________________________

“What time is it?” Bobby asked Dean as he yawned, the two were staking out a bar. “Seven past midnight” Dean responded, checking his watch. They were in Bobby’s truck now, “You sure this is the right play?” Bobby questioned tiredly. “No. But I spent all day canvassing this stupid town with this guy's stupid mug..” Dean groaned, taking up a picture of the mystery man from the video from his dashboard.

“…and supposedly he drinks at this stupid bar and- AH!” He exclaimed startled when Sam knocked loudly on the passenger side window, a wide smile on his face. Both Sam and Y/N burst out laughing at Dean’s fearful expression and yelp of surprise. They came back from doing research at a local library on Y/N’s bike, Dean and Bobby didn’t notice them since they parked behind.

Dean scowled at the two as he rolled down the window as Bobby rolled his eyes. “That’s not funny” Dean grumbled as Sam opened his door. “Yeah, okay” Sam snorted, pushing the seat forward, with Dean in it, so he and Y/N could climb in the back. “Alright, so, our John Doe’s name is Walter Rosen. He’s from Oak Park, just west of Chicago. Went missing a week ago” Y/N told them as she fixed herself in her seat.

"The night the Devil’s Gate opened?" Dean questioned, adjusting his seat back to its normal setting. "Yep,” Sam nodded. “So you guys think he’s possessed?” Dean asked, “Well, it’s a good bet” Sam shrugged. “So, uh, he just walks up to someone, touches them and they go stark raving psycho or something?” Y/N mumbled as she stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets.

“Those demons that got out of the gate, they’re gonna be able to do all kinds of things we haven’t seen,” Bobby responded, “You mean the demons that we let out” Sam said bluntly, “Guys.” Dean interrupted upon seeing Walter hop out of a car across the street, right in front of the bar. “Alright, showtime” Y/N said firmly, cocking her gun.

“Wait a minute” Bobby stopped her, “What?” She scoffed, “What did I just say? We don’t know what to expect out of this guy. We should tail him till we know” Bobby reprimanded her. “Oh, so he kills someone and we just sit here with our junk in our hands?” Dean protested. “We’re not good dead, boy!” Bobby shot back firmly.

“We’re not gonna make a move till we know what the score is” He added in a tone filled with authority. Both Dean and Y/N seemed ready to protest again. Sam on the other hand, “Hey, Bobby, I don’t think that’s an option” The younger Winchester chimed in. "Why not?” Bobby asked, confused as they all turned their heads to look in the direction Sam was pointing at.

To see Isaac and Tamara getting out of their own vehicle, both heading towards the bar. "Damn it!” Bobby cursed, smacking the dashboard. They all shared a look before climbing out of Bobby’s truck, "Looks like we're doing this" Y/N grumbled as she shoved her gun into the back of her jeans, slamming the truck door shut.

The hunters stood outside the bar, watching through the windows as Walter made his way to the bar, ordering his drink. Tamara and Isaac were both sat at their table, sipping on their drinks. “How are we gonna do this?” Dean whispered to Y/N as they all ducked down, trying to watch and stay unnoticed.

Walter got up from his seat at the bar and began making his way to the bathroom. Isaac and Tamara kept a close eye on Walter, the male hunter pressed a kiss to his wife’s cheek before getting up to follow Walter. Suddenly, a man grabbed Isaac as he was making his way towards the bathroom, snatching his flask of holy water away from his hand before tossing it onto the floor.

His eyes flashing black as he growled, “I don’t like hunters in my bar” indicating he was possessed by a demon. Everyone else in the bar's eyes flashed black, deeming them all to be possessed as Walter emerged from the bathroom, a sickening smirk on his face as he stalked over to them. Fearful expressions flooded Isaac and Tamara’s faces, not realizing exactly what they had walked into. Initially thinking it was only one demon they were dealing with. Not seven.

"Fuck” Sam hissed as they all watched the scene through the window. They all began banging on the door with their bodies but the demons had barred it shut from the inside. They heard Tamara’s screams as the others sadistically laughed.

“Move, move!” Y/N yelled at them to step back, placing her hand on the door. They all stepped back with their weapons drawn as she allowed the energy to flow through her body, her veins shining blue but it was no use, the door simply would not budge. Unknowingly, the door was barred with iron, one of the few things her power couldn’t break through.

“Motherfucker!” She shouted with fury. They could still hear the screams of Tamara and Isaac, the hunters grew more desperate as they kept trying to open the door. “I’ve got an idea!” Bobby said suddenly, rushing back over to the truck. The three younger hunters followed to suit.

“Bobby, what are you gonna do? Ram the place with your truck!?” Dean asked, growing impatient as they all hopped in, buckling up their seatbelts. Bobby started the truck with a firm nod, “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do, son” He stated before flooring the pedal.

They all held on to whatever they could, gripping tightly onto the door and anything else they could for support as Bobby drove the truck straight into the bar, crashing through the door. Glass shattered everywhere like sharp rain before the truck came to a sudden halt and all four hunters quickly hopped out.

Pieces of debris and broken wood fell to the floor, the place was in complete disarray. All seven demons turned to them with wide black eyes, holding back a sobbing and hysterical Tamara. Isaac laid sprawled out on the floor in a pool of his own blood, flowing from his mouth.

They quickly emerged from the truck with bottles of holy water, spraying them at the demons, all hissing in sizzling pain as the water burnt their skin. Y/N began spraying at the demons holding Tamara. She was freed from the demons, screaming for her husband as Y/N tried to push her towards the truck. “No!! Isaac!! Baby, no!!!”

Y/N attempted to pull her away from him as Tamara kept struggling in her grip, trying to get to her husband. “No, no, no, he’s dead. We gotta go!” Y/N shouted back, her heart paining for the woman who desperately tried to get out of her clutches. Sam, Dean and Bobby continued to toss holy water at the screaming demons.

The scene was chaotic as they all fought against the demons while Tamira tried in vain to go back to her fallen husband. “Get in the truck!” Y/N yelled to the hysterical woman, “Tamara! In the truck!”

“Let go of me!!” She sobbed as she wrestled out of Y/N’s grasp but she grabbed hold onto her again, "Dammit, Tamara, get in the damned truck!" She finally used all her strength to toss Tamara into the truck, holding her into place. “Guys!!” Y/N shouted to Sam, Dean and Bobby. Whistling loudly so they can all get the hell out of dodge.

Without hesitation, Sam climbed into the back of the truck, taking over Y/N’s spot as she hopped back out and ran over to her bike parked outside. Bobby quickly went around and jumped into the driver's seat but Dean continued fighting Walter. “Dean!!” Sam shouted, holding onto Tamara, who was screaming and crying, holding onto her like a lifeline.

“I’ve got this!” Dean shouted back while taking on another demon that tried to overpower him. Sam cursed under his breath as Bobby gunned the truck's engine as he waited for Dean to quickly climb up into the truck, “Dean, get the fuck in!!” But Dean didn’t listen to them.

Quinn’s engine roared as Y/N sped towards the bar, ramming her bike straight into Walter. "Oof!" She yelped as she rammed Walter, successfully making him stumbled backwards as he growled in pain. Dean took this opportunity to snack Walter by his collar before tossing him into the tray of the truck.

Leaving him screaming and trapped since devils traps were spray painted around it. He quickly threw his leg behind Y/N, climbing onto her bike, “Go, go, go, GO!!” He yelled Y/N and Bobby to floor it, snaking his arms around her waist.

The two vehicles sped off, leaving the wreckage behind as the demons screeched in anger, unable to chase after them. In the back of the truck, Sam held onto Tamara as he attempted to comfort her but to no avail. "Shh it's okay, you're okay, I've got you, you're okay" He whispered to her as she clung onto him, completely broken by the scene she had witnessed.

Upfront, Y/N revved her engine and sped down the road as Bobby followed behind. Dean tightened his grasp around her waist, pressing his chest against her back as they both raced down the highway in the dead of night, the adrenaline from the fight still flowing through their veins.

But right now, she was thoroughly pissed with Dean for almost getting himself killed, just so he could trap Walter in Bobby’s tray. She could feel Dean’s chest rise and fall rapidly against her back as he exhaled a harsh breath. Although she was furious with him for trying to play the hero, she took note of how comfortable and safe she felt with his arms around her waist, their breaths in sync with one another.

____________________________________________

Now back at Tamara and Isaac’s house, Walter was tied to a chair, under a Devil trap while the sounds of the hunters arguing echoed through the house. “And I say we’re going back” Tamara insisted, furious. “Just hold on a second” Sam tried to reason with her, pleading. “I left my husband bloody on the floor!” Tamara exclaimed, tears in her eyes.

“Okay, I understand that, but we can’t go back” Sam stated firmly, emphasizing with the now widowed woman. “Fine, then you stay. But I’m heading back to that bar” Tamara pointed at him, “I’ll go with her” Dean began heading to the door.

“That place is crawling with demons! If we go back, we risk getting killed!” Sam protested, looking at his older brother with disbelief as Y/N stepped in front of him and shoved him harshly on his chest. “It’s suicide, Dean!” Y/N exclaimed, frustration in her voice as Dean stumbled back.

“So what? I’m dead already!” Dean shouted back. The room went silent for a moment, the only thing heard were Tamara’s muffled sobs. Y/N stared back at Dean with a look of disbelief, the gaping hole in her chest returning as her breath got caught in her throat.

Sam’s nostrils flared at the thought and the choice of words by his brother, “How are you gonna ‘em? You can’t shoot ‘em. You can’t stab ‘em. They’re not just gonna wait in line to get exorcised!” Sam pointed out with anger in his voice. “I don’t care!” Tamara screamed. “You don’t even know how many of ‘em there are!” Y/N yelled.

“Yeah, we do,” Bobby interrupted, walking forward with a book in his hands. All eyes snapped over to him, “There's seven. Do you have any idea who we’re up against?” Bobby said, a mixture of fear and anger in his tone. “No. Who?” Dean shook his head, growing impatient. “The seven deadly sins. Live and in the flesh!” Bobby stated as Dean scoffed, a small smile playing on his face, “What’s in the box?” He chuckled.

His chuckles died in his throat as everyone looked at him with a deadpan expression, “Brad Pitt? Se7en? No?” He tried to see if anyone got his reference. Sam’s eye twitched with annoyance as Bobby chucked the book in his hands and Y/N smacked him upside his head. Gritting her teeth.

Dean scowled at the pain and rubbed the back of his head, “Ow! What the hell?!” He hissed, glaring at Y/N for slapping him. "That's for being stupid and almost getting yourself killed!" Y/N scolded him. Dean scoffed at his girlfriend berating him before opening the book, “What’s this?” He asked Bobby as he rifled through the pages.

“Binsfeld’s Classification of Demons. In 1589, Binsfeld ID’d the seven sins. Not just as human vices, but the actual devils” Bobby stated as the bells went off in Sam and Y/N’s head, realization dawning on them. “The family” They said in unison, putting two and two together of prior victims. Bobby nodded, confirming their suspicions.

“They were touched by Sloth” Sam shook his head as Y/N ran a hand over her mouth before she began toying with her necklace. “And the shopper?” She asked, “That’s Envy’s doing. And the customer we got in the next room” Bobby told them, pointing to the door Walter was behind. Confirming that Walter was possessed by Envy. “I couldn’t suss it out at first, until Isaac” He said, turning to Tamara.

She was rubbing the back of her neck, a look of disdain in her eyes. “He was touched with an awful guttony” She clenched her jaw at Bobby’s words. “I don’t give a rat's ass if they’re the Three Stooges or the Four Tops!” Tamara shouted at them, “I’m gonna slaughter every last one of them!”

“Well, you just can’t charge in like some kind of punk John Wayne” Sam retorted back. “John Wayne? That sounds like a pretty badass way to go out in my book!” Dean spoke with a hint of annoyance. This earned Dean another smack to the back of his head by his girlfriend, Dean gritted his teeth, attempting to protest but she shot him a nasty glare that made him shut his trap.

“We already did it your way! You burst in there half-cocked and look what happened!!” Bobby snapped, getting up in Tamara’s face. Tamara flinched back due to Bobby’s booming voice as the three younger hunters fell silent. “These demons haven’t been topside in half a millennium! We're talking medieval. Dark Ages. We've never faced anything close to this! So we are gonna talk a breath…AND FIGURE OUT WHAT OUR NEXT MOVE IS!!!” The veteran hunter bellowed, absolutely fed up with the lack of logic being portrayed by Dean and Tamara.

Tamara gritted her teeth at him as Bobby let out a deep breath, the hot steam propelling from his nose. He felt bad for blowing up but it needed to be said. Silence filled the room for a few moments, the atmosphere thick with tension and anger. Tamara turned away, her eyes filled with unshed tears as she tried to keep it together. The trio’s heads were bowed like kids being reprimanded by their pissed off and disappointed father.

“I am sorry for your loss” Bobby apologized before trudging out of the room and into the chamber they kept the demon of Envy bound, Tamara’s eyes remained on the floor before she stalked out behind him. Leaving the trio all alone. Sam and Y/N shared a wide eyed look due to Bobby's explosive reaction before glancing back at Dean, then following behind Bobby with Dean.

“So you know who I am, huh?” Envy chuckled darkly as they all entered. “We do. We’re not impressed” Bobby snapped, his eyes narrowed to slits at the demon. “Why are you here? What are you after?” Sam demanded. Envy just smirked in return, causing Y/N’s blood to boil at the vial expression. She was confused as to why she couldn't feel that burning sensation at the back of his neck, typically caused by the presence of demons but she chose not to question it. Brushing it off as the demon's ancient and unusual species. “He asked you a question.” Y/N growled as Dean slammed his jacket down on the table.

“What do you want?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he leaned against the table. Envy began chuckling again, causing everyone to grow impatient so Y/N reached into her jacket. Retrieving a flask of holy water from her pocket before unscrewing it and began tossing it into the demon's face. The holy water splashed all over the demon's face, eliciting a hissing sound from its lips, as its flesh burnt from the contact. It growled through the pain and clenched its jaw as it spoke.

“We already have what we want” Envy hissed at the hunters. “What's that?” Dean asked, tilting his head. “We're out. We’re free” The demon stated as if it were obvious before smirking. “My kind we’re…everywhere. ‘I am legion, for we are many,'” Envy quoted as he laughed maniacally. Sam’s blood ran cold as he and y/n’s eyes connected. “So me, I'm just celebrating. Having a little..fun”

“Fun?” Sam scoffed as he cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah. Fun. See, some people crochet, others golf. Me?” Envy smirked, his eyes glancing over to y/n. “I like to see people's insides…on their…outsides” His eyes trailed down the psychic's body as he licked his lips. Y/N’s body stiffened at his lasering gaze, uneasiness filling her as she instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. Bile began to rise in her throat from the look Envy was giving her.

Dean's eye twitched as his fingers curled into a fist, his jaw clenching. He was about to pounce on the demon but was held back by both Sam and Bobby. “What, too pretty for you in one piece?” Y/N spat as she stood her ground, refusing to be intimidated by the disgusting and vile creature in front of her. “Oh no, on the contrary.” Envy practically purred. “I like my women feisty…and bloody” Its eyes raked down her form once more, causing her to grit her teeth and Dean to rile up more. Struggling against Sam and Bobby.

“You touch her, I swear to GOD, I will END you!” Dean continued to struggle against his brother and Bobby’s hold on him. “Dean! Relax!” Sam pleaded. Y/N could see the fire dancing in her lover's eyes, the pure rage radiating off of him as his nostrils flared with each harsh breath he took. “Relax, I’m not gonna touch her…not yet anyway” The demon replied with an evil smile as its eyes locked on her like a predator stalking its prey.

Hearing the demon's response only served to anger Dean even more as he fought back with more power, causing Sam and Bobby to put more force into restraining him. Y/N eyes widened, quickly moving around the men to place her hands on Dean's shoulders. "Charming, calm down!" She shouted as she shook him.

But her words went in one ear and out the other as he continued wrestling with his two brothers, desperate to get to Envy and rip his throat out. "Dean, STOP!" Y/N shouted desperately, her grip on his shoulders tightening as she shook him harder.

He stopped struggling for just a moment to look at her, his eyes still filled with anger, but seeing the pleading expression on her face made him pause. He was still breathing heavily, his nostrils flared, and his jaw clenched, but he stopped fighting against Sam and Bobby.

Tamara’s gaze remained on the demon, filled with vengeance as she leaned down, her hands pressed against her knees. “I’m gonna put you down like a dog” She spat at him, like venom burning her tongue. “Please” Envy let out a bark of laughter, finding Tamara's threat humorous. “You really think you’re better than me?" The demon sneered, its twisted smirk never leaving its face.

“Which one of you cast the first stone, huh?!” Envy shouted as everyone narrowed their eyes at him, “What about you, Dean and Y/N?” He turned his attention to the elder Winchester and the psychic, Dean’s arm draped around Y/N’s waist. “You two are practically the walking billboards of gluttony and lust”

The couple smirked in response, sharing a knowing look as Dean playfully caressed Y/N’s ass. Earning an eye roll from her before Envy turned his attention to Tamara. “And Tamara. All that wrath? Ooh, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk” Tamara growled, gritting her teeth as the demon continued to taunt and mock her.

“It’s the reason you and Isaac became hunters in the first place, isn’t it?” Her hands trembled with anger as they balled up into tight fists at her sides. “It’s so much easier to drink in the rage…than to face what happened all those years ago” This made Tamara snap.

Tamara yelled in anger and lunged at the demon, grunting as she punched him across his jaw, over and over. “Tamara!” Bobby shouted as he and Y/N tried to separate the enraged hunter from the smirking demon. Bobby and Y/N managed to pull Tamara backwards as Sam continued to restrain a still agitated Dean who was glaring at the smug and unharmed demon, laughing.

“My point exactly. And you call us sins” Envy sneered. “We’re not sins, man. We are natural human instinct! And you can repress and deny us all you want, but the truth is, you are just animals” He further continued to berate them. “Horny, greedy…hungry..” He scoffed as Dean narrowed his eyes at him. “..violent animals.” He leaned forward.

“And you know what? You'll be slaughtered like animals too” Envy finished with a deadly whisper before looking behind him. “And the others? They’re coming for me” He said smugly, leaning back into his chair. Dean smirked at his cocky smile, “Maybe” He shrugged before leaning down to get in his face. “But they’re not gonna find you, cause you’ll be in hell” Dean’s words made the demon’s smug look drop.

“Someone send this son of a bitch packing” Y/N sneered as Tamara smirked, “My pleasure” She sneered, accepting the book with the incantation from Bobby. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus” Envy began shaking, groaning and grunting in his chair as he trashed around. “Omnis satanica potestas” Tamara continued reciting the exorcism, her voice filled with determination and a sense of satisfaction.

Sam, Dean, Bobby and Y/N walked out the room as Tamara continued to chant. Envy screaming his head off. “Well, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about hunting them,” Bobby told the trio. “What does that mean?” Sam asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. Bobby sighed deeply, resting his hands on his hips. “I think maybe this joker’s right. They’re gonna be hunting us and they’re not gonna quit easy”

“Great. Awesome. Fantastic” Y/N muttered sarcastically as Dean nodded. “You guys, why don’t you take Tamara and head for the hills? I’ll stay, slow them down, buy a little time” Dean offered. Sam and Y/N’s head snapped to Dean’s direction. “Fuck no” Y/N immediately protested, her eyes narrowing at her boyfriend as she shook her head. “You’re insane, Dean. Just forget about it, okay?” Sam snapped at his brother.

“They’re right.” Bobby chimed in as Dean scoffed, “They’re six of em, guys. We’re outmanned, we’re outgunned. We’ll be dead by dawn” Dean exclaimed, pointing out the obvious. “Maybe, but there’s no place to run that they won’t find us” Bobby shot back. Sam and Y/N shared a look before letting out a frustrated sigh.

Y/N clapped her hand on Sam’s shoulder before snaking her arm around his waist to the side before she turned to face Dean, wrapping her free arm around his shoulder. “Look, if we’re all going down, we’re going down together, alright?” She stated, firmly. Sam shot Dean a pleading look as he snaked his arm around Y/N’s shoulder.

Dean looked down at his girlfriend for a moment, a hint of a smirk tugged on his lips before his eyes flickered over to his brother. Both Sam and Y/N were sporting their classic puppy dog eye look. He knew there was no use in arguing with them, especially when they pull out the big guns to get their way. So instead he nodded his head in agreement and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer into his side. “Well, let’s not make it easy for them”

Envy let out one last scream as the house shook, the candles on the table blowing out. Indicating the demon was now expelled back to hell, inside, Tamara shut the book before exiting the room. “Demon’s out of the guy.” She stated. “And the guy?” Sam asked. “He didn’t make it,” Tamara said without a care in the world.

Tamara’s blunt remark made the hunters' faces harden upon hearing the news about the host’s demise. “Damn it” Y/N hissed as she looked away and leaned into Dean’s side.

-

Some time had passed and Y/N took the liberty of disposing of the body. She was now digging a hole in the back of Tamara’s house to bury it. Dean was outside, watching over her as she knelt by the shallow grave. His arms were crossed over his chest as his eyes were fixed on her, his sharp green eyes never leaving her form, studying her every movement. He offered to help her but she denied any help, which he respected, not wanting to push any boundaries.

She could feel his eyes on her, so she spun around, shooting him a quick thumbs up. In a way of saying, ‘I’m fine, you can go back inside now’ Dean huffed out a small chuckle. He knew she was fine. But as a man, and her man, he was protective over her. But he also knew how independent and capable she was of handling herself and this situation. So, he nodded back at her, blowing her a kiss before he reluctantly went back inside the house.

Y/N breathed out heavily before turning to face the poor guy. “I’m sorry you got caught up in this, man” She apologized to the dead host, Walter Rosen as she grunted, lifting him up gently. Y/N lifted Walter’s body, resting it over her shoulder. She tried her best to be careful, to be gentle, knowing that the man was no longer here to feel it. But she couldn’t help but wince and feel sympathy as she tried with all her strength to carry and lay him down in the shallow grave she dug for him.

Walters arm poked out from under the tarp, her brows furrowed when she saw an unfamiliar symbol etched into his arm. Almost as if it was burnt in. She knelt to take a closer look, pulling the tarp down to examine the symbol etched into the host’s arm. It was an odd-looking symbol that she had never seen before. It was almost like a cross, but with extra markings and symbols on each end. Her fingers hovered over the mark for a moment before finally touching it, her eyes narrowing as she felt a slight sting on her fingertips from the heat.

The mark was hot, but not scorching hot. It was enough to cause a slight pain in her fingertips as she touched it. Y/N quickly retracted her hand, rubbing her fingertips against her jeans before looking back at the symbol, her brows furrowed in confusion. She had never seen this mark before. It was definitely not a demon sigil. She took a mental note to mention this to the others.

Y/N took one last look at the symbol etched into Walter’s arm before covering it back up with the tarp, making sure to leave some of it free as she rose to her feet. She stood there for a moment, her brows furrowed in confusion and curiosity, wondering what the symbol could mean.

With her mind still occupied with questions about what she had just seen, she quickly dusted off her hands on her jeans, digging into her duffel bag laid right besides her. She retrieved the salt from her duffel and began salting Walter’s body. As she salted the body, something caught her eye. Something very odd this time. A blue glow omitted from under the tarp, on the side of Walter’s waist.

Y/N paused in her movement, her hand that held the salt bag hovered in the air for a moment as her head snapped in the direction of where she had seen the blue glow. Curiosity and confusion took over her as she slowly crouched down and placed the bag of salt on the ground. She slowly and gently pulled the tarp to the side, careful not to make too much noise or disturb the body as she tried to see what that blue glow was.

Upon lifting up Walter’s shirt, Y/N found a knife. Y/N let out a small gasp upon seeing the knife. She slowly reached out and picked it up, her fingers wrapping around the handle as she held it up carefully. Y/N’s eyes widened as she stared at the knife in surprise. It looked old, ancient even. But the craftsmanship of it looked amazing, almost like an heirloom.

She ran her thumb against the cold and smooth, silver blade, being mindful of the sharp edge. The blue glow of the knife’s blade was faint but noticeable enough. It was a beautiful blade, but the question was, where did it come from? And why was it glowing?

She let out an audible gasp as a weird chill ran up her arm, her own veins glowing blue. She didn’t intentionally focus her power onto the knife so the fact that it somehow connected to her, bewildered her. A million thoughts, questions, and scenarios ran through her mind as her eyes stayed glued on the glowing blue veins that now travelled up her arm. Something in her was telling her that something wasn't right with this knife.

The fact that it connected to her should've been enough to tell her that it was more than just an ordinary weapon or heirloom. But another side of her mind was telling her that it somehow found her. Her fingers curled around the handle of the knife as she glanced down at Walter's corpse. Y/N gingerly stuck it into her high leather boots before drenching his body in accelerant.

With the corpse doused in fuel, Y/N stood up and grabbed the matches from one of her jacket pockets. She struck a match, throwing it into the grave before stepping back, watching the body in the pit engulfed in flames. Once she finished setting the man’s body ablaze, she picked up her duffle bag and slung it over her shoulder, turning to head back to Tamara’s house, her mind still puzzled and intrigued by what she had just seen and experienced.

Once she stepped up the porch and into the house, she found Sam filling up flasks with holy water and Dean loading up a shotgun. The brothers seemed to have paused in their conversation as she walked in, their curious gazes landing on her when they noticed the look of despair on her face.

“Hey, sweetheart. Is everything okay?” Dean asked, concern clear in his voice as he set down the shotgun and took a step towards her. “Uh…yeah- yeah” Y/N cleared her throat, giving Dean a tight smile before tossing her duffel on a table. “Um, Sam. Can you look something up for me?” She asked her friend as she took up a paper from the table and a pen from the pencil holder. Quickly sketching out the symbol she saw on Walter’s hand.

Sam looked away from refilling the flasks after Y/N spoke to him. He furrowed his brows as he took the paper from her, his eyes studying the symbol on the paper. He looked up at her with a puzzled expression. “Where’d you see this?” Y/N leaned against the table, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she looked down at the floor. She let out a small sigh before looking up straight into Sam’s eyes and replying. “It was etched into Walter’s arm right before I burned him.”

Dean’s brows furrowed, “That’s all you saw?” He asked, having a feeling she knew more than she was letting on. Y/N’s lips pursed together as she let out a short huff, her gaze shifted to the floor for a moment before meeting his gaze again. She contemplated whether telling them about the knife or not but Dean could read her like a damn book, so there was no point in hiding it. “Actually, I found something else”

Both brothers’ gazes locked on her as she hitched one foot up. Reaching into her boot to retrieve the knife. She held it up, the ancient dark knife in its original form as she twirled it between her fingers. The blade of the knife still glowed blue and the dark iron seemed to almost absorb the light from the room, making it even darker. Sam and Dean stared at the knife in Y/N’s hands, their eyes widening in surprise and slight caution at the sight of it.

“Found it on Walter” She stated before tossing it onto the table, the iron hit the table with a loud thud, the light in it dying as soon as she didn’t have her hands on it anymore. Dean and Sam both took a closer look at the ancient-looking knife, examining its features. Dean stepped forward, picking the knife up and holding it in his hand. He turned it over, observing every detail. “The fuck is this?” The elder Winchester scoffed.

“I have no idea,” Y/N shrugged, her eyes fixed on the knife in Dean’s hand. “And when I first touched it, It “activated” my powers without me trying, shit was weird.” She made quotation marks with her fingers as she explained. “What do you mean it ‘activated’ your powers?” Sam furrowed his brows, turning to face her. “You didn’t do it intentionally?”

She shook her head as she pursed her lips, “That’s what I’m saying” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. Sam and Dean exchanged a look at her answer. Their expression and body language showed signs of alarm and concern. They both knew better than anyone else about Y/N’s powers and how they could change the outcome of any situation.

So the fact that the knife somehow activated her powers without her intention was incredibly worrying. Before anyone can say anything else, J.B. Burnett’s ‘I Shall Not Be Moved’ started playing on the radio out of nowhere. The device turned on spontaneously by itself, startling everyone. Their heads snapped over to the small old box. The trio exchanged an alarmed look as Dean quickly snatched up his shotgun. “Here we go”

The door and windows were salted to the T, Bobby and Tamara were stationed at the back of the house while the trio readied themselves in the front. Dean and Sam took their positions by the windows and doorway, weapons at the ready. Y/N stayed behind them, positioned in the centre of the room. Her gaze was fixed on the front door, waiting for any signs of movement, any sound or feeling that would indicate the demon’s presence.

“Tamara!! Tamara!! Help me!! Please!!” The sound of Tamara’s recently deceased husband, Isaac’s, voice boomed from outside. Pleading for her help. Y/N stiffened upon hearing the voice of the dead man, her heart clenching in her chest. She could only imagine the look on Tamara’s face, knowing the sound of her husband’s voice must’ve pained her all the more.

“Tamara!!” Isaac shouted, his bloodied hand smacking across the hard wooden railing as he crawled up the steps to the porch, “I got away!! But I’m hurt bad!! I need help!!” Isaac pleaded, Tamara was sobbing and shaking in her place at the back of the house. Her hand clutching at the Palo Santo stake, “It’s not him. One of those demons is possessing his corpse” Bobby tried to drill it into her head, assuring her that whatever was calling out to her was not her husband.

Dean clenched his jaw as he listened to the demon-possessed corpse shout out for help, his grip on the shotgun tightening. He glanced back at Tamara, noticing her shaking and crying. His expression softened as he felt sympathy for her, knowing damn well how she must have felt hearing her husband’s voice. He shot a quick look at Sam and Y/N before focusing back on the door again.

Y/N bit down on her lip as she glanced at Tamara. She could understand the woman’s desperation, the desire to go out and help her “husband”. But as she continued listening to the “voice” of Isaac, she knew it wasn’t him. It was a demon, a malicious creature disguised as someone’s loved one for the sole purpose of getting to them.

The demon knocked his knuckles against the door, “Baby! Why won’t you let me in?! You left me behind back there. How could you do that?!” Tamara’s sobs grew louder as they all listened to the demon’s desperate pleas, the words cutting deep into the woman’s heart. She stumbled forwards from her spot, desperate to get to the door, until Bobby’s firm hand landed on her arm, holding her in place. “We swore at that lake in Michigan, remember? We swore we would never leave each other!”

“How did he know that?!” Tamara sobbed as Bobby kept a firm gaze on her, “Steady, Tamara. Steady, steady” Bobby warned her, caressing the heartbroken woman’s shoulder as she sobbed. “You’re just gonna leave out here? You’re just gonna let me die?” Tamara’s body trembled desperately, her entire being wanting to get to the door and let her husband in, reminding herself that it wasn’t him.

“I guess that’s what you do, dear” The demon sneered. “Like that night those things came to our house. Came for our daughter. You just let her die” Those words made Tamara snap once again, “You son of a bitch!!” She screamed as she pushed the door open, attacking the demon possessing her husband's corpse.

“Tamara, no!!” Bobby shouted as he rushed forward. But it was too late, Tamara and the demon had gone tumbling down the back porch, breaking the salt line to the back door. “You’re not ISAAC!!” She bellowed as she drove the Palo Santo stake into his chest. With Tamara outside and the five demons storming into the house, there was nothing holding them back from attacking the group inside anymore.

As the larger one headed straight towards Bobby, a nasty smirk on his face. He paced towards the veteran hunter, who wore a feigned look of fear. The demon stopped in his tracks when he realized he had been stuck in a devil's trap. Bobby chuckled maliciously as the demon looked down at him fearfully, “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son” He smirked as he got out his book with the incantation.

While Bobby was exorcizing Gluttony, Dean had been caught up with his own demon. A petite blonde woman, dressed quite provocatively. His eyes widened as he tried to douse her in holy water but she caught his hand midair, a lustful smirk plastered across her face as she backed him up into a corner. “I suppose you’re Lust,” Dean pointed out, visibly gulping.

Lust chuckled, “Oh, baby, I’m whatever you want me to be.” She purred, her voice dripping with sultry and desire as she stepped closer to Dean. She moved so close that her body was flushed against his, her hand pressed against his bare skin at the neckline of his shirt. He tried to toss her off but the brute raw strength from the demon overpowered him.

“Yeah, alright. Just stay back!” Dean grunted as he tried to fight off of her grip. “Or what?” Lust challenged, running her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. The demon’s touch made Dean feel a sudden desire to kiss her, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of even laying eyes on someone who wasn’t Y/N. He grinned with relief when he saw the love of his life appear behind the woman.

Y/N snuck up behind Lust, her eyes focused on the demons back. She gripped the handle of the old knife tightly in her hand, her fingers digging into the smooth metal. Lust glanced behind her, sensing the presence of something or someone. Before she could turn around, Y/N jammed the blade right into the demon’s back. She twisted the knife and pulled it free, causing the demon to screech out in pain.

“He’s got a crazy girlfriend who’s gonna kill you, bitch!” Lust spun around to face Y/N, her eyes fixed on her. She winced in pain and anger as she clutched her fresh knife wound, her eyes narrowing at the sight of Y/N. “You little—“ She growled, her eyes glowing black, she screamed as she smoked out through the host’s mouth.

Y/N raised the hand that held the glowing blue knife, looking at it as it trembled. The power of the knife was definitely making itself known. Dean pushed the demon's body aside and made his way over to Y/N, “You okay?” He asked, his eyes scanning over her for any signs of injury. She nodded frantically as she rushed over to the host’s body to check if she had caused the death of the innocent girl the demon was wearing.

Her jealousy of seeing the demon touch Dean had gotten the better of her. Something she had never done before. It was unlike her and it scared her, a slight wave of relief filled her when she saw that the girl’s body had already had a bullet wound right to her heart.

Dean watched her from where he stood, noticing how she checked the body for any signs of life. He knew she was a bit out of character, but he understood why. Anyone in Y/N’s shoes would be. As she confirmed that the girl was already dead, his gaze softened more as he moved over to her, “Hey,” He said softly, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder, “It’s alright, you didn’t kill her.”

“She was already dead” He reminded her gently, his voice soothing and reassuring. “You didn’t do anything wrong, princess.” He took the knife from her hand and examined it. He studied the markings carved into the blade, running his thumb carefully over the carvings. “This thing is giving your powers a boost,” He said, looking back up at her. “Are you sure you’re still in control of yourself?” He asked, his concern still present in his features and tone.

Y/N looked offended as Dean asked this, she was ready to snap at him for his question when the house shook, having no time to answer him. “Sammy!” They shouted in unison, the sound of a door blasting down. The door to the room Sam was in. They darted towards the room, adrenaline pumping through their veins at the thought of the younger Winchester being attacked.

They stumbled into the room, seeing the broken door on the floor. Sam was surrounded by three demons who had meticulously avoided the devils trap. “Come on, you really think something like that is gonna fool someone like me. I mean, me?” The demon smirked at Sam as Dean and Y/N emerged behind them. “Let me guess, you’re Pride” Sam sneered at the demon.

The demon smirked, spinning around to face Dean and Y/N as Sam darted over to them, standing at one side of Y/N while Dean stood on the other. The demon raised his hand to the ceiling with a smirk, causing the devil's trap at the top of the ceiling to be broken into nothing but rubble. “Mm. The root of all sin. And you two, are Sam and Dean Winchester. And you…are little miss Y/N L/N”

Y/N bristled immediately, her eyes narrowing at the demon with defiance. “Those are our names, don’t wear it out now, honey” She snarked, her lip curling in annoyance at the demon’s tone as Sam’s face dropped and Dean’s jaw clenched.

The demon chuckled and stepped closer to them. “That’s right, I’ve heard of you. We’ve all heard of you two” He gestured between Sam and Y/N. The prodigies. The Boy and Girl King and Queen.” Sam raised an eyebrow in surprise, his eyes fixing on the demon. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked, his tone puzzled and alarmed as he looked between Y/N and the demon.

Then shooting a questioning look in Dean’s direction. Y/N was visibly taken aback, her breathing becoming shaky as her eyes darted around. The word ‘King and Queen’ stuck in her mind. “Looking at you two now, I gotta say, don’t believe the hype.” Pride snapped, “You think I’m gonna bow to cut-rate, piss-poor humans like you? I have my Pride after all”

The air was thick with tension as the demon taunted them, his words cutting through the silence and adding to the already palpable stress in the room. Dean was ready to lunge at the demon, to hell with whether he died or not. But Y/N snatched him by his arm, yanking him back harshly. Looking at him as if he were bonkers for attempting to lunge at a demon completely unarmed. Her fingers gripping tightly at the old blue glowing knife between her fingers.

“Relax, sweetie,” She hissed, her voice firm and low, her gaze locked on him intently. He opened his mouth to reply, but she silenced him with a cold glare, silently warning him to shut his damn gob. The demon chuckled again, his eyes gleaming with malice as he watched them.

“Now with your yellow-eyed friend dead. I guess I don’t really have to do a damn thing, do I?” Pride smirked, whistling for his two friends to begin attacking the trio. Y/N, Sam, and Dean jumped into action, ready to take on the three demons. Pride simply stood back as he watched his companions attack. “Have fun, kids” He drawled, a smirk resting on his face as he observed the fight.

Y/N clutched the knife as Sam and Dean dodged attacks from the two demons, she aimed for Pride with her own. Pride dodged the knife easily, his reflexes quick and agile. “Ah-ah-ah, I’m not playing that game with you, little miss” He sneered as he evaded her every attempt to stab him, enjoying the frustration on her face.

Y/N growled, ducking to swiftly swing her feet around, knocking Pride off of his own feet. Unbeknownst, Dean was tossed into the wall by another demon and Y/N straddled Pride and dug the knife into the demon's shoulder. Pride screamed in pain, reeling back from Y/N as she pressed the knife into his shoulder. The pain was excruciating, the holy power behind the weapon was more than he imagined.

“You little—“ He grunted, his eyes narrowed as he clutched his wounded shoulder. The demon began smoking out through its host’s mouth as Dean recovered from being thrown into the brick wall. He staggered to his feet, rubbing his head and wincing at the pain. His eyes widened at the sight of his girlfriend with a knife in the demonic shoulder of a powerful and ancient demon, now limp in her arms.

He swiftly dodged a punch from the demon when suddenly, an familiar blonde woman (Ruby) appeared through the door. Wielding a very similar knife to the one Y/N had found, Y/N had pushed herself up from her feet, only to be shoved back down by Ruby.

As Y/N stumbled to the floor, her head spun, causing her vision to blur for a moment from the immense power the knife was taking out from her. It took a few seconds to clear, once her vision cleared, she looked around, her heart stopping when she saw Sam and Dean both trapped, pinned against the walls by the two other demons.

“NO!!” She cried out, only for Ruby to stab one of the demons, holding up Sam from behind, the corpse lighting up a light orange color from the stab wound and eyes. Dropping limp to the floor. She quickly swung around and stabbed the demon holding Dean up through the back of its neck, retracting her blade from its neck. Both Winchester brothers gripped their throats as air filled their lungs back up.

Y/N scrambled back into her feet, everything happened so fast she barely regained herself, her breath coming in and out rapidly as she rushed over to the brothers. Her hands rested on both their cheeks. “Who the fuck are you?” Dean spat at the blonde woman. “I’m the girl that just saved your asses” Ruby smirked, The two brothers shared a look at the blunt and harsh response, Sam nodded reluctantly at the girl.

“Yeah, fair enough,” He muttered. Y/N was torn between being grateful that she saved the brothers and being suspicious of this random girl until realization dawned on her. “You’re the chick that was following us earlier” Y/N pointed out with a hard expression, now remembering where she knew her face from. Ruby’s cocked a brow and her eyes flickered down to the still glowing ancient knife in Y/N’s hand.

“I’d be careful with that if I were you, Y/N” She smirked, gesturing to the knife before shooting Sam a wink. “See you around, Sam” Y/N’s expression faltered, the comment about the knife was odd to her, especially since Ruby knew her name. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, gripping the knife tighter in her fingers.

“How did you—“ Y/N gasped. Sam raised an eyebrow as the girl left, an odd look on his face. He ran after her, shouting, “Wait!” but she had already disappeared. Y/N’s eyes snapped over to Dean, who was nursing a possibly concussed head. Dean rubbed the back of his head, groaning as he leaned against the wall, his face pale and sweat beading from his forehead. “Ah, man, this hurts like a mother…” He muttered, his vision still a bit hazy.

Y/N stepped towards him, her eyes filled with worry, “Come on, sit down” She ordered, moving closer to support him as she gently guided him towards the wall at his back, he slumped against the wall with a thud. “It’s okay, baby. It’s over”

She pulled his head to her chest, Dean made no attempt to unbury his head from between her boobs as her eyes remained on the deceased bodies. The knife she had somehow..exorcised two demons but the one that girl had full on killed them. Her mind swirled with the new revelation as Dean relaxed against her chest.

Dean let out a low, satisfied hum as he buried his face between her chest, his nose nuzzling between them as he inhaled her scent. “Mmm, you’re comfy” Dean mumbled, his voice muffled. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as he leaned in closer to her, relishing in the warmth he felt from her body. The feeling of her body against his helping to ease his pounding head.

____________________________________________

The next morning, Sam, Dean and Y/N laid the bodies of the four of the fallen hosts that were possessed by the seven deadly sins in a bigger shallow grave. They had examined the bodies to see the symbol Y/N found on Walter was etched into everyone else’s arms.

Their eyes glanced over to Tamara in the distance, standing by a wooden pier with her husband’s body wrapped up in a white sheet. Flames engulfed him as she gave him a proper Hunter’s Funeral. A final farewell to her lost loved one.

“Think she’s gonna be alright” Sam asked no one in particular after salting the bodies and drenching them in accelerant. “No, definitely not” Y/N answered honestly. Her heart gave out to the fellow female hunter, having lost her husband. Her mind reminded her that the clock was ticking with Dean as she clenched her fists. Bobby paced over to them with a look of frustration.

“Well, you look like hell warmed over” Dean commented, “Well, you try exorcising all night, see how you feel” Bobby grunted, rubbing his chin. “Any survivors, Bobby?” Sam asked. “Just the heavy guy, he’ll make it. Lifetime of therapy bills, ahead, but still” Bobby sighed. “Well, it’s more than you can say for these poor bastards,” Dean muttered, gesturing to the four corpses.

Y/N frowned as she laid eyes on them all, a feeling of dread building up when she looked at the two that were possessed by Pride and Lust. She had no idea what that knife she found on Walter or the one Ruby had done and it gnawed at her. “Bobby, these knives…what kind of blade can exorcise a demon? Much less…kill one?” Y/N asked.

“Yesterday I’d have said there was no such thing” Bobby shrugged as Y/N took the old knife out of her boot. Bobby gave the weapon a good once over, his eyes narrowing at it in thought. “I’ve never seen a knife like this before” He said, his voice low. He ran his thumb over the markings on the blade, his face contorting in thought.

“How the hell did you even get this, anyway?” Bobby asked, looking over at Y/N curiously. She shifted uncomfortably, her hands curling into fists as she avoided eye contact with him. All she wanted was to get her hands back on that knife, to have it close by her side. “Walter, the guy Envy possessed. Found it on his body when I was gonna burn him, it just started glowing” She told him firmly, itching to take it back from Bobby.

“And you took it?” Bobby raised an eyebrow, his voice stern. He knew that taking random items, especially magical or cursed ones, was risky. But she had already taken it, that was done and over with. “Well excuse me, it’s not like I could exactly ignore it!” Y/N defended. Bobby didn’t seem convinced by her explanation, his face still stern. “You should’ve left it alone.” He scolded, shaking his head. “You have no idea what this thing is”

Y/N scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest as Sam and Dean pursed their lips. Not butting into the reprimanding Bobby was fishing out to her. “Well it saved our asses, twice. So I’m gonna hang onto it, thank you very much” She snapped, snatching it back from Bobby. This surprised everyone, her snappiness was a trait they were used to but out of nowhere and uncalled for? It raised alarms in their heads.

Bobby’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, surprised by her outburst. He’d never seen Y/N so defensive or stubborn about a simple object. Sam and Dean shared a concerned look, both of them knowing how out of character she was behaving.

Bobby gaped at her snatching back the knife, his eyes wide in surprise. “What’s going on?” Bobby started, his voice serious and sharp, Y/N glared at him as he glanced over at Sam and Dean, shooting them a look that said, ‘Do something!’

Sam nodded in agreement, his expression filled with concern. “Y/N/N, maybe we should listen to Bobby on this one.” He chimed in, his voice soft and reassuring, trying to ease the tension. Dean gently took Y/N’s hand into his, attempting to pry the knife away. “How ‘bout we let Bobby do his research on it and if it’s proven to be safe, he’ll give it back to you, huh?” Dean suggested, pleading with his eyes.

Y/N let out an impatient growl. She couldn’t explain why, but the thought of giving the knife away made her stomach twist and churn. She looked at Dean, her eyes flashing with slight annoyance but it quickly softened when she made eye contact with him. “Fine” She huffed, pulling her hand back, and keeping the knife clutched in her grip, the markings on the blade glowed softly in protest.

Y/N begrudgingly dropped it into Bobby’s outstretched hand. Bobby took the knife, handling it with care as the glow died. He shot Y/N a warning glare, “You’d better hope this thing ain’t evil” He stated before stuffing it into his jacket pocket. Y/N was itching again to take it back from Bobby but once it was out of her possession, she calmed down subsequently.

“I’ve got a troubling question, who the fuck was that blonde chick and how could she fight better than us?” Dean asked out of the blue. Bobby shrugged, his expression contemplative. “Beats me, though it sounds like she knew what she was doing. Could be another hunter.” He mused as Sam and Dean shared a glance, both of them having the same thought.

Sam buried his hands into his pockets, “I’ve got a troubling one too.” He said, “What’s that?” Y/N asked. “If we let out the seven deadly sins, what else did we let out?” Dean and Y/N shared a look at Sam’s question, the elder Winchester twirling matchsticks between his fingers. “You’re right, that is troubling” He said grimly as he struck the match, lighting the paper box aflame before tossing it onto the bodies infront of them.

“We might've let out more than just the sins” Bobby muttered, his eyes narrowing as the bodies of the two flames engulfed bodies. “And heaven knows what else got out of there.” Y/N took a deep breath, her mind running away with the possibilities. The idea of something even worse than the sin’s being let loose was a chilling thought. “Amen,” She sighed.

-

The smoke had died down and the bodies were now fully burnt, Tamara was getting ready to leave. Her duffel tossed over her shoulder, “See you gents around” She greeted the men before nodding at Y/N, “Tamara?” Y/N stopped her. Tamara stopped, a curious look on her face as she turned to look at Y/N.

“Yeah?” Tamara asked, her eyes flickered from Y/N to the three men behind her. “The world just got a lot scarier. Be careful, hun” She said gently to the other female hunter. Tamara's lips curled into a small smile at y/n’s words, but a look of sorrow was still in her eyes, “You too, darling” She replied, her eyes flickering to the boys before turning to leave.

She jumped into her car, starting it up. Y/N stood next to the boys as they all watched Tamara drive off. A sense of uneasiness fell over them, the fear of something else being unleashed hung heavily in the air. “Keep your eyes peeled for omens. I’ll do the same and I’ll look into that knife of yours” Bobby said to the trio firmly. “You got it” Dean responded as Sam and Y/N nodded curtly.

Bobby began making his way to his truck, only to be stopped by Sam. “Hey, Bobby?” The veteran Hunter faced the younger ones, the three exchanging looks. “We can win this war, right?” Sam asked, a tinge of hope in his voice but when Bobby’s head dropped and he didn’t come up with an answer. All hope died. “Catch you kids on the next one”

With that, Bobby Singer hopped into his truck. The three watched as Bobby drove off, his truck rumbling off into the distance and out of sight. Y/N shifted uncomfortably, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jacket. “So, where to?” Dean asked eagerly, clapping his hands.

“Uh…I don’t know, me and Sam were thinking Louisiana, maybe” Y/N told him as they walked over to the Impala and Harley. “Little early for Mardi Gras, ain’t it?” Dean mused as he raised a brow at them. Sam and Y/N shrugged, “Yeah, listen, we were to Tamara and she mentioned this Hoodoo priestess that might be able to help us out with, ya know, with your…demon deal” Sam said as he looked away.

Dean narrowed his eyes at the two, “Nah” He simply said. Y/N and Sam shared an annoyed look, both of them tired of Dean's refusal for help. “Nah? What does that mean ‘nah?’” Y/N asked, her tone slightly irritated. “Sam, Y/N. No Hoodoo spell’s gonna break this deal, alright? It’s a goose chase” Dean stated.

“Yeah, but we don’t know that,” Sam protested. “Yes, we do. Forget it, she can’t help” Dean shook his head, dismissing the subject, “Look, it’s worth a tr-” Y/N tried to protest but Dean cut her off. “We’re not going and that’s that”

“What about Reno? Huh?” Dean smiled, causing Sam and Y/N's patience to wear thin, their brow furrowing in anger. Y/N’s fists clenched by her sides as her eyes fixed on him. “Why do you have to be such a stubborn moron?” She hissed, her tone sharp. “Dean, we have been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you and…I don’t care anymore” Sam snapped.

“Well, that didn’t last long” Dean smirked, knowing his brother and girlfriend would’ve snapped in a matter of time. Y/N took longer than he initially anticipated, however. “Yeah, well, you know what? We’ve been busting our ass, trying to keep you alive, Dean. And you act like you couldn’t care less!” Y/N exclaimed, gesturing between her and Sam.

“What? You got some kind of death wish or something?” Sam added, equally frustrated. Dean’s amused expression was still present on his face, “No, it’s not like that” He said, shrugging nonchalantly. “Then what’s it like, charming?” Y/N asked exasperated. “Sam. Y/N-”

“Please, tell us” Sam pleaded as Dean looked up at them, his eyes filled with pain. “If we trap the crossroads demon, trick it, try to welsh our way out of the deal in anyways, you die and they kill you too” Dean stated firmly, pointing to Y/N and then to Sam. “Okay? You two die. Those are the terms. There’s no way out”

Sam and Y/N’s faces fell at Dean’s explanation. The realization that they were putting themselves and each other in danger just to keep Dean alive hit them hard. Y/N’s lips parted as she tried to find the right words to say but came up short.

“And if you two idiots try to find a way, so help me God, I’m gonna stop you” Dean threatened them, lovingly of course. Sam’s face morphed into one of fear, his heart dropping into the palm of his hands as tears welled up in his eyes. The two scoffed painfully as Y/N ran her hand over her mouth in frustration.

“How could you make that deal, Dean?” Y/N whispered, shaking her head as she tried to stop tears from rolling down her cheeks again. Dean’s face softened, his lips tugging up into a pained smile as Y/N’s tears cascaded down her face. He stepped forward and brought Y/N into his arms, his hand caressing her head soothingly, “You wanna know why?” He asked softly.

“Because I couldn’t live with you dead. Couldn’t do it” He answered softly, her eyes snapped up to meet him at his words. “So what? Now I live and you die?” She scoffed, gently pushing him off. Dean’s hands fell to his sides but his eyes remained on Y/N. “That’s the general idea, baby” He replied in a somber tone before turning to walk away.

“Yeah, well, you’re a hypocrite, Dean” Sam shot back, following after his brother. “How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? Because we were there, we remember. You were twisted and broken. And now you go and do the same thing. To Y/N.” Dean’s face hardened, his jaw clenching tightly as the memories of his father sacrificing himself for him flooded his mind.

A wave of guilt washed over him, “That’s different” He muttered under his breath. “No, it was selfish. I love you but it was selfish” Y/N blurted out. Dean’s head snapped in Y/N’s direction, her declaration taking him by surprise. But it hurt most knowing that it was the truth, he couldn’t argue there. “Yeah, you’re right, it was selfish, but I’m okay with that”

Sam and Y/N both stared at him in disbelief, their eyes narrowing, “I’m not” Y/N said, clenching her jaw. “Tough” Dean shot back, mimicking her expression. “After everything I’ve done for our families, I think I’m entitled” Sam’s jaw dropped at his brother’s words. “You think you’re entitled?” Sam echoed Dean’s words, his voice filled with anger.

“You’re not entitled to anything, Dean” Y/N retorted, her tone firm. “You think you can just sacrifice yourself and we’ll be fine?” Dean sighed heavily, “Truth is, I’m tired guys. And- I don’t know. It’s like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel” He continued, rambling on.

“That hellfire, Dean.” Sam and Y/N deadpanned in unison, their tones harsh. Usually they would laugh about making a witty comeback in unison but right now, there was nothing funny about this conversation. “Eh. Well, whatever.” Dean waved them off.

“You’re both alive. I feel good for the first time in a long time….I got a year to live, guys. I’d like to make the most of it. So why don’t you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell? Huh?” With that, Dean unlocked the door to the Impala. Sam and Y/N both remained speechless, their mouths agape as they watched Dean get in the car.

The audacity this man had, was mind-boggling to say the least. It was infuriating. “You’re fucking unbelievable” Sam scoffed as Dean reached over to Y/N’s motorcycle, picking up the helmet before tossing it over to her. Y/N caught the helmet with a grumble as Dean snarked back, “Very true” She glared at him before getting her bike ready to go.

She hated knowing that the man she loved was essentially giving up on life, that he didn’t even care about his impending doom. It killed her.

She swung her leg over her bike as Sam hopped into the passenger seat, placing the helmet on her head before firing up the engine. As she did, Dean started up the Impala, the engine roaring to life. She spared one last frustrated look at him before they both headed off down the road, leaving Tamara’s house behind.

Other than Dean’s impending demise to hell, what was really boggling Y/N’s mind was where the hell did that knife come from and when the hell was she gonna get it back?

____________________________________________

Authors Note: Authors Note: A verrryyyy long overdue chapter has come to an end but that just means the beginning to a new season! Thank you once again for being so supportive, sweet and loving to me within this past month. I’ll forever be grateful for the lovely family I’ve found in this journey.

I hope you guys enjoyed! Feel free to ask any questions, tell me what you loved and hated (I’ll try my best not to spoil my plans lol) and a special thanks to my darling @karrah89 for helping me with a certain idea for this season❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @hjgdhghoe @rach5ive @tiggytaylor @star-yawnznn @quarterhorse19

@deangirl96 @bitchykittenconnoisseur @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @mrsjjkwinchester

@juwu-theliciosa @magiccliopleurodon @nesnejwritings @karrah89 @whattheduckisupkyle

@iloveyou2mia @thelittlelightinthedarkness @lmhf1 @littletomboy2 @zigzoggy

@hey-its-zoe @modiddys-blog @thvxr @tommysaxes @cookiemonstermusic258 @elite4cekalyma

@ladykitana90 @strawberrykiwisdogog @barnes70stark

See you in the next one! (Coming sooner than expected with a little surprise hehe)

Xoxo

[radioapple-heathen]

My Top 10 📻🍎 'Multi-Chaptered' Fic Recs

(A continuation of my previous post. You can find info about my fic preferences and my top 10 'Series' fic recs here.)

1.) Somewhere down the line by kj_crwn

Complete (6/6). Rated E. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Canon Divergence. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

So, just like my #1 on my series recs, this fic has Lucifer and Alastor meeting in the living world first before canon takes place while Alastor is still a human, and then reuniting in Hell as the events of canon unfold. Absolutely my fav trope. It helps that the writing is absolutely gorgeous!!! This is such a comfort fic for me, could read it a million times over. It looks like the author considered making it a series but, at the time of making this rec list, it is a standalone fic.

2.) Even As A Shadow, Even As A Dream by @winterveritas

Complete (2/2). Rated E. POV: Lucifer. Genre: AU - Hell. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

Really, anything Winter touches is absolute gold, but this fic rocked me to my core. The way this author portrays Lucifer's grief during Alastor's absence, like. I've been reading fic a long, long time. It takes quite a bit to pull tears out of me, but I sobbed while reading this. Don't let that scare you away, this author is allergic to unhappy endings, but the gut punch of emotions, oh my god. Also, for those who love when extensions of the boys come into play, Alastor's shadow and Lucifer's snake have roles as well, and that is a huge headcanon of mine so it was delightful to see it in this. Writing is flawless, prose is gorgeous, dialogue is top-notch. Just agonizingly wonderful, beginning to end.

3.) Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before The Next Angelic War by @miribalis

Complete (8/8). Rated T+. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Canon Divergence/Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: I, like many others, stumbled across this fic due to this beautiful fanart and god. This fic is SO INCREDIBLE. The dynamics between the boys are everything????? This is a QPR take on them, and it's beautiful? Just gorgeous in every way, from the writing to the characterizations and the non-sexual intimacy exploration. ALLLLL the love for this fic.

4.) Lucid Dreams of New Orleans by @radiaurapple

In-Progress (14/15). Rated T+. POV: Switches. Genre: Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

Wow. Just... It's hard to put into words the admiration I have for this author/fic. In such a popular fandom/ship, it can definitely be hard to find a unique take on said popular ship. However, this. THIS. This is one of the most original radioapple fics I've ever had the joy of reading. Beautiful imagery, STUNNING PREMISE, the emotions, the prose, THE RADIOAPPLE BOYS, everything about it is perfect.

5.) The Ruination of Lucifer by @syaunei

In-Progress (31/?). Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: Canon Divergence/Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

Not sure there are words in the English language to describe how fantastic this fic is. Everything I wanna say feels lacking. This fic has some of the most beautiful writing I've ever read. And it is such a delicious character study on Alastor, the inner workings of that man's mind is just insane. The way syaunei takes such a complex character apart, strand by strand, is truly phenomenal. I mentioned in my fic preferences disclaimer that I lean more towards top!Lucifer, but lemme tell you, this is top!Alastor DONE RIGHT.

6.) Something in Me Understood by @winterveritas

Complete (8/8). Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: AU - Human!Alastor/Devil!Lucifer. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

This was written for radioapple week 2024, and Winter spoiled us rotten with the frequency of updates for this one. Bookstore AU but make it sexy? XD I am trying to keep my gushing to a minimal, but really, all of Winter's fics are fantastic. This one also includes some beautiful art. AND AND AND intersex!Lucifer, which again... a weakness for me.

7.) Awake, Arise by iffervescent

Complete (14/14). Rated E. POV: Switches. Genre: Canon Divergence/Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

HOLY PLOT! As I mentioned in my previous post, I definitely prefer more romance vs heavy plot in my fanfics, but when a fic can balance them both as experty as this one HO BOY! It makes for truly a good time! 🙏 Fantastic fic!

8.) Passing Ships by @selphhelp, @androidwiththeparanoid

In-Progress. (7/?). Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: AU - Human/Great Gatsby inspo. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

Please envision this gif of the man screaming "Let me tell you something! Let me tell you something!" as I ramble about this fic because its a fucking gem, and it is so so so criminally underrated. I know its niche, but I think people assume you need to know about The Great Gatsby to read/enjoy it. YOU DON'T. I'm telling you, I remember ZERO about that book, and this fic has been an absolute delight??? Yandere!Alastor??? Vox's One-Sided Psychosexual Obsession with Alastor??? Possessive Lucifer??? IT HAS IT ALL. And the writing and characterizations are superb!

9.) Strange Appetites by Gotllphi

In-Progress. (20/23). Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: AU - Human!Alastor/Devil!Lucifer. Notable Warnings: Extremely graphic depictions of violence.

Notes:

Ho boy. I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT SAY. *gestures vaguely*. ITS JUST GOOD? VERY GOOD?? but also, cannibalism, violence, Alastor being a golly ol' serial killer, consensual but not safe or sane bdsm, etc etc. Also plot galore!

10.) Born for Adversity by fourshadesofgreen

In-Progress. (2/3). Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: AU - Human!Alastor/Devil!Lucifer. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes:

This is a short one, but I love everything this author writes, and the ending scene of chap 2 has been living in my head rent-free since they posted it. Human!Alastor has fallen in love with the Devil and tries to summon him through his killings. Fantastic premise and writing.

❤️❤️❤️

I'll be doing one more rec list for oneshots! I'll post it in a few days. I hope you guys are enjoying the recs!

[creedslove]

WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

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Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Older Favorites 8: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week we have the eighth edition of older favourite fics, check under the cut for 19 fics that were uploaded or last updated more than two years ago! Don't forget to comment and kudos if you enjoy them

when will these two wizards kiss already by allmadeofstardust (13590, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

A series of canon divergent episodes, exploring potential first kisses the wizards might've had in the final episodes of C2.

Reccer says: Back when C2 was finishing up, I always looked forward to this series updating XD it was a really fun way to feed the beast that spent every one of those last episodes waiting for a Shadowgast kiss to happen. And the ending of the series is really lovely too.

Like 80/20 on the Kinsey Scale by jakia (2772, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: None

Caleb sleeps with Essek and panics about his sexuality. A story about friendship and identity.

Reccer says: I liked it!

By the Light by MoonwalkingCrab (31993, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn, Major Character Death, Temporary Character Death

After not hearing from the Nein for months and assuming he had been forgotten, Essek receives a plea from the Nein to help save Caleb. Canon-Compliant until e88!

Reccer says: I Love love LOVE this fic. I came into the fandom right at the end of C2 and have read many really good pre-97 fics - This one is probably my absolute favorite. AMAZING Essek characterization, really nailed the loneliness at his core, I love the take and the headcanons! Also also, while this is absolutely a Shadowgast fic, this is also very much an Essek & The Nein fic. Every interaction is amazing, love the level of detail, adore the pacing, just a really good and soft and well rounded fic!!

in the times in between by jakia (8098, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: mention of miscarriage

While refining a spell, Caleb spends a few days accidentally visiting his parents over the course of a decade and a half. Essek helps the final time.

Reccer says: Kind and sweet, plus excellent mom behavior from Una at the end.

infinity in the palm of your hand by mousecookie (5752, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence

Alternate ending to e116 - The Mighty Nein find a rusted iron door in Aeor, as well as the fallen body of one Essek Thelyss.

Reccer says: Really well/solidly written, with an *amazing* twist that I did NOT see coming - Very good emotions, very good characterizations, just an all-round lovely read written during the fandom's 'When will Essek return from the war?' phase X3 Also also I just ADORE the title!

only code it knows is rote survival by Chrome (12637, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In a world where Trent makes it back to Eiselcross before the Nein do, Essek spends a night under the effects of the Feeblemind spell. Caleb undertakes a duty of care, and the Nein learn how Essek feels about them beneath everything.

Reccer says: Wonderful characters and lovely writing!

like coloured indigo inscribed with my name by KmacKatie (30648, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

An exploration of tradition, culture, what is worth sacrificing in finding yourself and family.

Reccer says: I think about this fic a lot. The highs, the lows, the sweetness, the angst. It's existed in the back of my mind for so long that it's kind of hard to describe the particulars of why I love it; I just do. I love the snapshots into Essek and the Nein's lives; the moment in Chapter 4 when the wizards kiss stands out to me as an example of that. The heartache of Chapters 6 and 7 is so well done; the strings of unanswered texts (and Essek's deleted replies) at the end of 6 and "I can’t eat soup without thinking of you." in particular (ESPCIALLY the latter) have stuck with me for years. Essek showing up at Caleb's birthday party after everything... there are tears in my eyes as I am typing this. I just love all of it so much, but the angst in particular really left a mark. And I love the ending so much too. All of it is just iconic and wonderful. To end on a lighter note, shout-out to the remark about Deirta and kumquats, which surfaced in my psyche recently after being dormant in there for so long XD

a certain future by wristpockets (26997, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek keeps trying to outwit The Mighty Nein, and gets stuck in a time loop trying to do so. He's trying to befriend them now, trying to earn their trust, but that's only because it's his best option... right?

Reccer says: While the Shadowgast is a relatively minor aspect of the story, it's a great character study.

Echoes by MithrilWren (1759, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

“Essek finds himself... unsettled by Caleb's new telepathic powers.“

Reccer says: Shadowgast, but with some Somnovem interference! This fic is short, but it packs a punch! I still get a shiver down my spine thinking about the ending.

Somewhere Just for Us by bluebirdsongs (12835, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb takes Essek on a date to the version of the dance hall that lives on the Tower's 8th floor.

Reccer says: This is one of my all-time favorite Shadowgast fics, hands down. It is incredibly tender and sweet, with so many layers of emotion. The concept is brilliant and so well executed. I love Caleb introducing Essek to Zemnian cuisine and this fic is 100% the reason for it. And the flirting and the banter and the DANCING. There's a moment when they're dancing that made me yell in delight when I first read it back in 2021 and I still adore it. And the ending!!! Augh, it's all just so heartfelt. It deserves all the love in the world. (Also, it never fails to make me crave a preztel)

russet inconveniences by marleybone (7328, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek needs a roommate and finds one in Caleb Widogast.

Reccer says: You know a fic is good when you think you've submitting reccs and then you remember the title and immediately have to go pull it up to recc too XD this one is just so fun!!! Caleb is a menace of a roommate and I love that that never stops, even as Essek realizes he's got feelings. The tag "minor inconveniences to lovers" is fantastic XD

Unspoken Love by marsmystic (4187, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

“ Caleb and Essek return to Aeor together. A relationship develops. Or was it already there?”

Reccer says: This fic sparks joy! Wizards being besties!! Essek and Caleb’s relationship is so sweet in this. It really highlights how the romantic aspects of it stem from their friendship, which is one of my favorite flavors of shadowgast.

The Mind and The Malady by SaltCore (38945, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

There is a remedy for his illness, of course. There is always a way to unwind magic, but there is always a price. The cost of Essek’s life, now that he’s contracted Hanahaki’s disease, can be paid two ways—one is higher than Essek can bear and the other, well. The other can only be paid by someone else.

Reccer says: Beautifully written and wonderful worldbuilding! Always a fav to reread!

some things time can't fix by Chrome (25930, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek is arrested for treason. The Dynasty severs the daemons of prisoners before executing them so they can’t be reborn.

Reccer says: Daemon au! This fic made me feel so many emotions

Like a Steel Trap by kaeda (12519, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek is very much into Caleb's keen mind.

Reccer says: Wizards loving wizards for wizardly reasons!

a mirror to the sky by renquise (7432, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek shows up on Caleb's doorstep in the bitter cold of winter and shows him something private

Reccer says: Self bondage fic my beloved! The tension between the two is so good!

To Mourn a Mischief by toneofjoy (81716, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

It's an Ever After-inspired AU with magic, where Caleb is trapped with Ikithon but ends up wooing Essek. Follows the plot of Ever After but has some good twists and turns!

Reccer says: The writing gives that fairy-tale feel, and though it follows the plot of Ever After, it's different enough to be exciting. Also love the surprise guests near the end, and the Jester/Essek and Caleb/Beau friendships are so good!

The following two fics each received two recs:t

(your face in my hands is) everything good i need by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (25884, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The last person Caleb Widogast, Professor of Modern History, expects to find as he walks in a random pub in a foreign city at the end of a long conference is Dr. Essek Thelyss, eminent Latinist and his sort-of intellectual crush.

Reccer 1 says: This is the first fic in my bookmarks and I've long since lost track of how many times I've reread it. So many moments have ingrained themselves in my memory; Caleb's hands on Essek's elbows when they first kiss. Their later spicy makeout getting interrupted by Essek getting a call. Caleb trying to pin Essek to his door the moment they get to his apartment for kisses and Essek having to get him to slowdown for a minute. Essek thinking Caleb looks like a god as they lay in bed together. "I want a clean break". Essek touching Caleb's new beard first thing when they reunite after Caleb's grown it. Their candelit video calls. I have to stop myself before I just list everything that happens because it's all SO GOOD. Essek Week 2021 produced some just magnificent fics and this is easily towards the top of that list. Reccer 2 says: The exquisite writing, the Demi Essek, the literal sleeping together, and the way their relationship evolves over time.

we never do go over (we always gotta go through) by Chrome (17169, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In which Essek uses Convergent Future to save the Nein in Aeor and has to take the journey out of Aeor with five levels of exhaustion.

Reccer 1 says: SUCH a classic, I distinctly remember reading this one on my laptop at the back of the forum room my study hall was in, right when it was posted. The physical toll of powerful magic is something I ALWAYS love to see explored, so this was already a success on that part. Add in 5+1, hurt/comfort, and Shadowgast tenderness and getting together? This fic still lives rent free in my head for a reason. Reccer 2 says: Such tenter feelings!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics that include good/complicated mom Deirta. Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

[quinloki]

Random Writing Tips

This is for fan fiction more than anything else, but it can also work for original content depending on your parameters. (If you need to submit an outline to your publisher, for instance, obviously you would need an outline XD )

You do not have to write Chronologically:

I mean you don't have to write your story in time-line order from start to finish. You can start in the middle, and catch the audience up with flashbacks or whatever.

You can start in the middle, go back to the start, meet up to the middle, resume, and continue.

You can write the ending first, fill in the story while effectively walking backward through it, and then post it in chronological order. Just because you write it out of order doesn't mean you have to post it that way.

You do not need an outline:

Outlines are great for a LOT of people, and for others it can be a point where you just freeze. You don't have to know Everything That's Gonna Happen - even if it's an original piece. It's a rough draft, you can let the story drag you around.

Deleting whole chapters is not a failure.

You can fix words and patch plot holes, but you can't post a blank page and have it accomplish much of anything.

Length doesn't determine value:

You're not lesser than a novelist if you write short stories.

You're not somehow less of a creative or storyteller just because you write 500-1000 words drabbles or 100 word micro fictions.

You don't need 500k words and 50 chapters to be a "Real Writer".

Great big long epic stories and tales are indeed amazing, but someone's not a better writer just cause their story has chapters.

The value is in the story. Sometimes that story takes a million words to tell, sometimes it only need a couple thousand. Sometimes it's something even shorter - two-sentence horror is legit because it's legit.

It doesn't matter how many times it's been done:

By virtue of the mathematically limitless combination of words you can string together in a single sentence, it is impossible for someone to tell a tale the same way you will.

It

does

NOT

matter

how much your story might have in common with someone else's. It doesn't matter how much overlap exists between stories, the details will be different and that's the point. Humans see patterns in everything so you're not going to escape them.

Someone's going to see a similarity in your work compared to someone else's no matter how much you stretch for original or unique - and in trying for that stretch you might lose the important parts of your story and end up with nothing.

It does not have to be "Good".:

It doesn't have to be technically good.

It doesn't have to be thematically good.

It doesn't have to be grammatically good.

It doesn't have to be morally good.

It doesn't have to have a lesson.

It doesn't have to have a point.

It doesn't have to be something anyone else enjoys but you.

It doesn't have to fit inside a specific box or series of parameters in order to be something you can share.

The good guys don't have to win, the bad guys don't have to lose, the abuse can be romanticized - you can write something Specifically Meant To Make People Uncomfortable.

Just... create. Create if it brings you joy. Create if it fills a void. Create if the only worse than creating is Not Creating.

Whatever you make today will be the best you can do, and if you keep doing it and keep trying and keep learning and keep creating, then in a year

five years

ten years

You'll look back - and you'll see progress.

The time passes anyway, so don't let anything stop you from writing. Rest, drink water, do wrist stretches - they're not just for artists, writers need them too. Don't let anyone else stop you.

I'm begging.

Not your own doubts. Not someone else's innocuous or honest or cruel or even "correct" words. If it is spite that hurls you forward, then so be it. Do whatever it takes.

And if it takes too much, then rest.