#it’s so simple . system develops from trauma -> system sees character which brings them comfort -> system develops alter of said character

[lovetogether]

We think over half our alters are introjects but still it’s so scary to develop one because people are so extremely weird about that kind of stuff. We’ve had old mutuals go around saying they downright didn’t respect introjects as people. Often in fake claiming campaigns introjects are a common reason to attack a system. Like people think introject = high kinning nd therefore isn’t actually valid when it’s like. An introject developing isn’t based around choice ! It just happens ! Nd they are in fact the most common alter type even among non online systems!! It’s common for older systems to have introjects of old tv characters, we’ve known younger system with exclusively pokemon alters, it’s common and understandable given media’s effect on folks yet people think it’s a valid reason to attack others!! It’s ridiculous, we often feel horrified being openly plural due to introjects because of all the implications people may assume of us. We’ve avoided fandom because saying “x character is in our head” feels like an instant okay for people to be weird to you and/or uncomfortable around you. It’s so mind boggling to us the audacity and cruelty of others for something so easily understood and explained.

[chicagocityofclans]

Helo Adama → Dylan O'Brien → Rat Animal Shifter

→ Basic Information 

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight 

Born or Made: Born 

Birthday: August 1st

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Religion: Deism 

→ His Personality Helo personality is most accurately described as intelligent, hyperactive, and curious. He is a notorious bookworm who excels at piecing together clues and figuring out mysteries. Helo enjoys puzzles and acts as the main IT guy for the pack in order to gain information and evidence regarding the threats that they face. For this reason, his intelligence is his greatest strength within the pack and has either given them an advantage or has outright saved them in multiple situations. He is slow to trust people, but once he warms up to them and the person gains his trust, he becomes very close to them and will do whatever he has to do in order to protect them and ensure their safety. Because of his hyperactiveness, Helo can often become so overwhelmed by trauma that he both physically and verbally lashes out at those around him. Despite his increasingly violent reactions to bad news, he is a very loyal person who would do anything to protect his loved ones, even if it means giving up his life to do so. 

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Full Time Head of CTRL

Scars: None

Tattoos: Matching Tetris Pieces with Hanna 

Two Likes: Technology and Amazon

Two Dislikes: Best Buy and LEGO

Two Fears: Blackouts and Losing Hard Drive Data

Two Hobbies: Videos Games and Role-Playing 

Three Positive Traits: Outspoken, Sarcastic, Clever

Three Negative Traits: Long-Winded, Awkward, Arrogant

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Graeme Adama (Father): Graeme is Helo’s number one fan and motivator. Graeme has always had an active role in Helo’s life, whether it was reading him Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings before bed as a child or helping him build foundations for CTRL as an adult. Graeme has taken time off from RED and joined Helo on CTRL after the Underground attack. Nick has been pushing for Graeme's return and Helo has been pushing to find a way to help RED win some leeway Underground. He wants his father to return with some type of advantage. 

My Bellarose Adama (Mother): My Bellarose seems like a character from a book that Helo’s has not read yet. Everything about his mother is perfect enough to be unreal or made up by an exquisite writer. She can do no wrong in his eyes. She is currently teamed with BOND and SKIN. Helo has no idea how she jungles Graeme, work and their family but somehow it all gets done and more. Helo is happy she has taken a liking to Hanna, just like the rest of their family. 

Sibling Names:

Radak Adama (Brother): Radak is Helo’s older brother. They are complete opposites of each other but surprisingly get already well. Radak has never been into technology or science fiction/fantasy. Radak joined BOND in order to travel and get away from Chicago, he always wanted to see the world and learn about different cultures and languages. When Radak is home he usually works on SKIN. 

Vala Azalea Adama (Sister): Vala is Helo’s older sister. She is one of the RED survivors and has recently celebrated her 30th birthday. She had a mental breakdown recently, feeling unaccomplished and with a shit ton of survivor's guilt. Helo feels absolutely helpless. He has taken to constantly checking on her and is trying to include her in wedding plans to brighten her up. Helo is considering hooking her up with Louis or Achilles to get her spirits up. 

Tahmoh Adama (Brother): Tahmoh is Helo’s little brother. Tahmoh is a 23 year old nerd that has recently joined the ranks of GOLD. Helo is proud of him, knowing he worked hard for the position while attending community college full-time. While Helo had gotten his degree online, Tahmoh rebelled and went to one of the local colleges. Helo was surprised that Nick allowed Tahmoh to attend college. However, it was not until after Tahmoh graduation that Tahmoh was able to tell their family that he was only allowed to attend if he kept an eye out for the Jackals and other shifters who attended college there too. 

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Hanna Moore (Mate and Fiancee): Hanna and Helo have been dating for 5 years. They met on an online dating app. The first time they met in public, Helo brought Louis with him, thinking it was a scam. Helo and Hanna clicked in person just like they did over the phone; adding Louis as their third party too. 6 months into their relationship, Helo asked Hanna to move and join his pack. A long distance relationship wasn’t hard, but Helo wanted her close and running CTRL, which was still new at the time, was becoming too much to leave for a weekend getaway. Helo does not reject the decision at all and does not think that they are moving too fast. He knows whether he is living until 90 or 400 years old, he wants to share his life with Hanna. Which is why he proposed and they are planning to start a life despite people thinking they will not last or will regret it. In the history of Adama’s there has never been a divorce and there are currently 30 living generations. While Helo does not want to add kids to their equation yet, he does see them there in the far future.

Platonic Connections:

Louis Martin-Rovet (Best Friend): Helo cannot remember when Louis and he became best friends or when they actually met. Every time a question about how they met comes up they both spin an outrageous elaborate story, coming up with it and crazy details as they go along. Despite their obvious age difference, Louis being older than Helo’s parents and maternal grandparents, the two of them might as well be brothers. 

Theo ‘Hibachi’ Easton (Friend): Helo and Hibachi could easily be described as being your typical nerd buddies. Helo was there to help Theo when he needed his Tumblr page set up, and Theo was one of the very small numbers that knew about Helo dating Hannah first. Their friendship is an easy one, where both are simply comfortable being themselves around the other.

Achilles Idris (Friend): Helo really likes Achilles and enjoys having him around. It is hard to believe that Achilles is Jax's older brother. However, this adds to Helo theory that Nick and Jo raising Jax had a large effect on the person he grew up to be. Achilles is currently a part of GOLD and BOND, thus Helo has been seeing a lot of him. It is nice having someone else closer to his age in his inner circle too. 

Ray Hamelin (Associate): When Helo first developed CTRL, he had to implement it into NERVOUS and BOND before CTRL could become official. Helo and Ray formed a professional relationship during that time. Helo has nothing but respect for Ray and the job he does for their pack as a whole.

Jim Montgomery (Unsure): Jim has been coming around more and more often. Helo is unsure as to why but also does not want to find out why either. Helo has been running micro surveillance cameras in and out of the police department for SKIN and is currently working on a credit card system for them. Helo is hoping to match their spending habits to different names the human shifters may have, which could possibly bring a large amount of unknown shifted forms to light.

Ryan Cleirigh (Possible Contact/New Friend): Ryan has an amazing podcast that Helo listens to on his down time or whenever he needs something playing softly in the background and music isn’t cutting it. Helo has joined Ryan a few times for shows as a guest and accompanies Ray whenever he goes too.

Hostile Connections:

Jaxson Idris (Annoyance): Helo and Jax never got along and always clashed with one another. Helo does not know what it is about Jax but the air around Jax always ruffles his feathers and sends him up a wall. Helo has tried in the past to bury the hatchet but it has always come to bite him in the ass. Jax will never receive mercy from Helo or his personal CTRL care; which Helo usually gives to his team members.

Pets:

None

→ History Helo was raised by loving parents and has always had a close relationship with the entire family; including siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Helo grew up around the supernatural but did not grow up as a typical rat. Helo’s family, the Adama's, have always refused to sleep with tens of thousands of other rats. They enjoy the finer things and as a result, Helo grew up within a separate house which is unlike many of the local rats. While he did not follow in his families by joining GOLD, SKIN or RED, Helo did start his own team called CTRL when he was old enough. That won the approval of both his family and extended family. CTRL is in control of surveillance, tech support, data processing, basic hacking and virtual mapping. They are also in charge of accounting for SUGAR, research and development for BOND, and simple tracking for other teams. → The Present Helo’s love for technology is how he stumbled on an online dating app for supernaturals and how he met Hanna. Hanna was in Fort Wayne, Indiana when they were matched, but the two commuted alternating weekends to make it work. Hanna eventually moved up to Chicago to be with Helo and join his pack. Hanna moved to Chicago only 6 months after meeting face to face for the first time. They celebrated their 5 years anniversary where Helo had proposed to Hanna. They are slowly planning their wedding much to everyone's cringe. A lot of people disapprove but Helo has always known what he wanted, and it has yet to come to bite him in the ass. Helo’s immediate family and his best friend, Louis seem to be the only ones that are in support of how quickly their relationship is moving.

Helo’s to-do-list has been overflowing for CTRL. He is slowly but surely knocking them all out by working overtime and pulling all nighters. Helo is working on big projects for BOND, GOLD, SKIN, RED and CAMO that has taken priority over other projects that he has been handing off to his team members. CTRL is currently without a second which Helo isn’t actively looking for but is willing to consider after missing an important wedding venue appointment.

[critical-analysis]

Consent in TTRPGs, the RP Experience as Collaborative Storytelling, and the Importance of Trust between Players and GMs

I wanted to have the first of the two essays I put up this weekend to be specifically Critical Role related, but this one just ended up being the first one I finished, so it's the first one I'm posting.

As I said, it's not specifically about Critical Role, but it is about tabletop role playing, and Critical Role is kind of a prime example of what I'm going to be talking about, so I think it's appropriate to post here. This isn't something I'll be doing a ton of, posting essays about general TTRPGs, but I might do it here and there if I'm inspired to write something.

This is about consent in TTRPGs, and if you're someone who's very much a "the GM is the end all be all and their say is the only one that matters” type, you probably are going to want to leave now. I mean, I’d love it if you were open minded enough to keep reading and maybe learn something, but I’ve dealt with a lot of these types before, so I know that isn’t likely. 

There's been a lot of talk lately (particularly last week) about the idea of consent in TTRPG. For anyone who doesn't know, when we're talking about consent in this way we're talking about people consenting to what kind of content they interact with in a game. Our world is a big and complicated one, which means that many people have had experiences that might make certain content triggering to them. As such, many people want to talk about what they're agreeing to when they join a game. This can happen in the form of a conversation with the GM, it can happen in what's called a consent form, it can be a combination of both.

There has been a rather defensive response on the part of some GMs that tends to be along the lines of anything from "they're the players, they can't tell me how to run my story" to "I need these various things (rape, racism, graphic depictions of violence, etc.) to tell my story". Basically, at the end of the day, most of them have one major thing in common: the GM declaring "it's MY story."

And that, I think, is the biggest problem, the reason these GMs are so offended by the idea of consent in these games, and the problem with why their stance is so out of step with what tabletop role playing games are.

These games are a collaborative storytelling experience. It is no one person's story. It's widely accepted in the overall TTRPG community that a GM that artlessly railroads their players because their players aren't following the exact story lines they want them to follow is not a good GM, specifically because the point of these games is for everyone to create a story together. The GM builds the world, creates many of the people in it, sets up the threads for the players to follow and guides them along those threads, but how the players explore those threads is their decision. The story is supposed to come together from both the GM and the players.

A lot of GMs undervalue the storytelling input that the players should be having on the world and story they've created. Players build their backstories, and those backstories should have a place in filling out that world and the story threads the GM has woven together. The paths the players choose to follow determine which stories are told. How they react to different things determine how the story unfolds. Without the players, it's just a world with loose story strands. These games need the players to actually fulfill the stories that are laid out for them. It's a major part of the storytelling for these games, and it needs to be respected as such.

Which means GMs can't view it as just THEIR story. They need to respect that it's the story of everyone at the table. And that everyone at the table, player and GM alike, aren't just telling the story, they're experiencing it. Studies have shown that our brains experience stories we're told as if they're actually happening to us (source). When you add to that the way TTRPGs work, with people playing as these characters they've created, that inevitably have some piece of who they are in them, whether they even realize it or not, the storytelling experience of these games is going to be incredibly emotional and intense. Yes, some people might feel that more than others, and some might feel it less than others. But the idea of that emotionally intense experience shouldn't be disregarded by any means just because some people might not feel it as much as others.

Because of that connection players have to their characters, because of the way our brains react to storytelling, role playing can be a very vulnerable experience for even the most well balanced and emotionally healthy person. Studies have shown that people who play TTRPGs show more empathy than control subjects (source). Which means that they’re going to develop deeper empathic connections to both their own characters and other characters, and experiencing certain things in game as a character, or seeing those things happen to another character, whether the player themselves are in character or out of character, is something that can have a strong effect, beyond just “being shocked” or “feeling something”. Because of how our brains experience stories, and because of the levels of empathy players often have, such an experience can end up feeling very real on an emotional level. For someone who has been through trauma or who struggles emotionally and/or mentally, it's going to be so much more emotional. Players need to be able to trust that when they put themselves in their GM's hands to guide them through this story that their GM is going to make an effort to not hurt them.

Some GMs have tried to excuse their violation of their players trust or their refusal to gain consent first by saying things like "no, I'm empowering them by giving them the chance to be powerful in the situation" or "I'm helping them face their issues and overcome them". To which I have a pretty simple response: No. You don't get to decide when and how people confront their issues. You don't know that putting them in that situation is going to make them feel empowered. You don't know that it's going to help them face their issues. You don't get to make the decision about what's good and healthy for them. You are not their doctor, you are not their mental health care provider. Not only do you not get to make that choice for them, you are not trained to treat them. You don't know how to do it in a safe, healthy, and effective way. People play these games for different reasons, and while some people might play to feel powerful in situations where they might otherwise feel powerless, many other people are just looking to escape the pain and stress of their lives, and bringing in their stressors and traumas ruin that for them, and you don’t get to make the choice for them of whether or not they should be confronting thees things. Yes, people do use these games to work through issues. But they do it on their own terms. Forcing them is not okay. If you guys talk about it and they agree to it (without feeling like they're being pressured to do so), then that's okay. But that's consent, and that's what we're talking about here. 

There are examples all over the internet now of games where GMs recognize the collaborative aspect of TTRPGs and work together with their players to tell a story rather than against them. Really, one of the reason these shows are so good and so popular is because the GMs and players embrace that it's a collaborative storytelling experience, and it makes the stories great. Critical Role is a great example of this. Matt Mercer is an amazing storyteller. He has built, and is continuing to build, an incredibly, fascinating, eclectic world, full of interesting people, with different cultures and belief systems and ideas and ways of life. But there are 6-7 other incredibly storytellers at the table, who create deep, complex backstories for their characters, backstories that both create parts of the world and fold in pre-existing parts. They take the world that Matt has given them and create characters to live in it, with backstories that use parts of the world he's given them, and Matt takes parts of those characters and their backstories to create new parts of the world and new story threads. The story, the entire world, is a collaborative effort with Matt and all the players working together to create the overall world and story. And Matt is sensitive to what his players need, is always mindful of making it fun for everyone. He doesn't bulldoze what his players are trying to do with their characters or force them into things they aren't comfortable with for the sake of "his story". Critical Role would not be what it is if Matt Mercer was the kind of DM who looked at the game as HIS story.

These games are supposed to be fun and fulfilling for everyone, GM and players alike. Which means being flexible. Sometimes it means compromise. Just as being a player means operating under the understanding that you're playing in a world with an established history and rules set forth by your GM, being a GM means operating under the understanding that your players and what they want is just as important to the story as what you've created, and that some things require flexibility. If you, as a GM, would have your fun completely ruined by someone needing a slight change made to your story, then being GM is not for you. Most of the things being discussed when the topic of consent in TTRPGs come up should not be necessary to tell an overall story. You should not NEED rape, or child abuse, or bigotry, or graphic depictions of sex or violence, etc. to tell your stories. If you DO “need” those things, you aren’t a very creative storyteller. Respecting consent in TTRPGs is not about completely overhauling your entire world and story.

This does not mean that some games just aren't for some players. There's a difference between someone being triggered by the kind of dark themes one would get in a horror game and it therefor being decided that a certain group isn't for them and a player asking the GM to avoid graphic descriptions of drowning because of their drowning related trauma and being told "no, either you accept it or you're out". And if someone's needs could potentially hinder someone else's enjoyment, it's entirely okay for there to be a discussion that ends in an agreement that they might want to find another game. I had an instance of a player who was both asexual and a survivor of sexual assault, and because of that they weren't just uncomfortable with their character being involved in any kind of romantic or sexual situation, but with any character being involved in romantic or sexual situations. That was something that would have effected the enjoyment of other players, since I knew that a few of the group members really enjoyed those aspects of game play, so we agreed that our game just wasn't the one they were looking for. There was an instance in another game where I had another player who was a survivor of sexual assault who struggled with sexual content in games. We were able to discuss it between us, and then the group, and come to the agreement that while the other players could pursue or have romantic/sexual content and such in their stories, that there would be no graphic descriptions or discussions, and that the player in question’s character was entirely off limits for such things. But that's the big thing there: they were conversations. We talked about what they needed, we discussed whether or not what they needed would hinder the overall story, whether it would effect the enjoyment of other players, and whether or not there were compromises we could come to that would work for everyone (and I want to be clear here: when I talk about compromises being made, I'm not just talking about compromises that players might make. The GM needs to be willing to compromise as well). These aren't just your players or potential players. They're your co-storytellers (or potential co-storytellers). Basically, if you forego any discussion and just treat it as "my way or the highway", you're GMing wrong.

Honestly, this relatively recent topic of GMs refusing to have these discussions with their players and agree to informed consent when it comes to gameplay is just a new (newish, new in it actually being discussed) part of a much older problem that happens in TTRPGs, and that's inflexible GMs who treat it as THEIR story and THEIR game, refusing to recognize or respect the importance of their players in the storytelling experience. As I've said before, they refuse to look at it as a collaborative storytelling experience where everyone is supposed to have fun and they only look at it as what they want to do. This isn't just a case of a GM who's a hardass about certain rules. It's not even necessarily about the kind of GM that favors rules over story. This is a problem of GMs who treat the entire endeavor as THEIR story, THEIR artistic vision, THEIR thing, and treat the players as simply being their to facilitate it.

I understand the allure of looking at it that way, or rather, I can see how someone would be drawn to TTRPGs and start to look at it that way. Having players there to interact with your story can sort of give you instant gratification of response in a way other forms of storytelling often don't. It's a way of telling a story that HAS to be consumed. So it makes sense that people who want to tell stories but who haven't gotten much response to anything they've posted or online, or who haven't been published for whatever reason, would be drawn to these kinds of games. Honestly, it makes sense why anyone who wants to tell stories would be drawn to these games. They become a GM because they want to tell stories, but they either don't understand that these games aren't just one person telling a story, that it's a collaborative process. Or they don't WANT the collaborative aspect.

I'm sure that a good number of these types of GMs are also players who were expecting to be able to tell their own story or do whatever they wanted when they played, who got mad when their GM didn't let them monopolize their story and shove out the other players stories, or when their GM just didn't let them do whatever they wanted. I'm sure we've all seen at least one GM like this, who didn't have the power to completely control the story when they were the player, so they became a GM because they interpreted "wouldn't let me completely take over the narrative" as "controls every aspect of the story".

Whichever type they are, wherever they come from and whatever their reasons, they're people who treat the gameplay and storytelling experience as theirs and theirs alone, that it's their story completely and that the players are just there to be used to tell it. They completely misunderstand what being a GM is, what TTRPGs are supposed to be right down to their very core. It's a collaborative process, where EVERYONE at the table is creating a story together. It's an emotional experience that can be very vulnerable, and that takes a lot of trust. You need to be understanding, you need to be flexible, and you need to be willing to compromise. Sometimes the players might go down a different path than you expect. Sometimes they might not be interested in the big flashy story you're throwing at them. And sometimes they might need a small concession in order for their experience to feel safe and happy.

If you're unwilling to be flexible in those cases, then you probably shouldn't be a GM.

And that's okay. Being a GM isn't for everyone. It requires A LOT of work. Not even just in the planning of the actual game and story, but in continually communicating with your players and making sure everything is okay. You should always have an open discussion with your players before a game starts, or before someone joins a game, about what they want out of the game, what they might need from you, and about whether or not your game is the kind of game they're looking for. You need to be constantly communicating with them making sure they're not uncomfortable with anything that's happening in the story or at the table. You need to make sure things are good between the players and that nobody is making anyone else feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Collaborative storytelling, creating characters and essentially living as them for hours at a time, it's a fun and entertaining game, yes, but it's also an emotional experience that requires a certain amount of vulnerability, and the players need to that support from their GM. If you're not willing to put in the work required to off that support, then again, being a GM might not be for you.

There are a lot of different ways to be a storyteller. Sure, maybe not all of them have the instant interaction that TTRPGs have, but if you're not willing to accept TTRPGs for what they are (collaborative storytelling experiences where everyone's input matters and where everyone's enjoyment and safety are important), then you shouldn't get into it. Just as you shouldn't get into any field or medium without understanding and respecting what it is. If you don't want to share the story and support your fellow storytellers, then don't be a GM. Find a different way to tell a story. Don't put other people's safety, enjoyment, and storytelling experience at risk just because you want that instantaneous interaction.

If you're unwilling to be flexible in your storytelling to help your players have the best experience possible, you're not a good GM. And, quite frankly, if you have to resort to things like rape, bigotry, etc. in order to "shock" your players or your readers, then you aren't a very good storyteller, either.  

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

My favourite Charmed episodes - season 5

This is the fifth part of my Favourite Charmed Episodes meta series all posts in the series will be tagged as #favecharmedeps.

Season 5 is honestly one of my favourite seasons and has two of my all time favourite episodes from across the series. There’s something about the whole vibe of season 5 that I just love. It feels very different from seasons 1-4 and generally I’d expect to dislike that, but it really works for me. I love the more mystical and fairy tale-esque theme running through it which taps into the lighter side of magic. The sisters have fantastic arcs in this season (and I’d argue it’s the last season that they receive truly good characterisation); Piper struggles with adjusting to becoming a mother; Phoebe tries to move on from an unhealthy relationship and creates a new life for herself with her job and Paige’s arc is my absolute favourite. I just love seeing Paige embrace being a witch and work through her identity issues in regards to where she fits in with the sisters and the world at large. I’ll discuss this more, but I honestly just adore Paige in this season and I think her characterisation is beautifully built upon from season 4. I’ve chosen 5 episodes from season 5 - A Witch’s Tail, Happily Ever After, Sympathy for the Demon, Y Tu Mummy Tambien and Centennial Charmed. 

A Witch’s Tail (5x01+2)

Initially I wasn’t going to include this episode because although I like it I don’t love it, but I had to because of what this episode means for the sisters. Generally, I like mermaids, but I’m not particularly invested or taken with Mylie or her story, it’s what it means for Phoebe that’s significant. Overall, this episode perfectly launches the three main character arcs that the sisters have this season, which I’ve outlined above, so let’s explore that in more detail. 

After seeing Phoebe go through literal hell in season 4 in her relationship with Cole, this episode is the perfect follow-up from that. She’s trying to divorce Cole so that she can move on and when he comes back her reaction is completely understandable. All she wants to do is runaway and never come back. Who can blame her? I’m a huge fan of the show using magical transformations as a metaphor for the sisters emotional or mental struggles and in this instance, a mermaid is the perfect creature for Phoebe to become. Mylie explains that their hearts are as cold as the ocean, that they don’t love and that they simply swim in the ocean completely free from all ties and responsibilities. Phoebe truly deserves to have this arc in this episode, it’s only sad that she doesn’t get even more focus. I’d argue that she suffers the biggest trauma of any of the sisters in season 4 and yet after Long Live the Queen and Wombraider, she’s never really given adequate time to deal with those traumas and the writing doesn’t give her space to do it either. The second Wombraider has finished it’s all just swept under the rug and I have a lot of problems with that. What this episode demonstrates to me is that through all of that heartbreak, Piper and Paige don’t know how to be there for Phoebe, in fact, nobody does. Phoebe carries the hurt caused by Cole completely alone because she feels that no one else can understand or that she’ll be judged. This is where I can criticise Piper and her sister relationship with Phoebe, because I feel like Piper doesn’t support Phoebe at all. Paige is more open-minded about Cole (despite being the one that hated him in season 4) and works her ass off to vanquish Cole for Phoebe’s benefit. But back to the point, Phoebe turning into a mermaid and running (or perhaps swimming is the more appropriate term) away at sea is because she doesn’t have that support and understanding that she needs. Notice that the sisters and Leo aren’t enough to bring her back home, it’s Cole that is responsible for her turning back into herself. And I love that final scene between them on the beach because it’s such a peaceful moment between them where they get to acknowledge all the hurt and damage they’ve caused each other, but that they still love each other. Cole describing Phoebe’s desire to wash away the pain with the waves of the sea explains perfectly why Phoebe chose to stay as a mermaid. This scene is overall one of my favourite Phoebe and Cole scenes because of how simple it is but how strongly it conveys the love and loss that’s between them. In some ways it’s sad that this wasn’t the end of their relationship, because I think it would’ve been a very courteous and sweet ending. 

Moving onto Piper, this episode is the beginning of Piper’s journey to becoming a mother. We see her struggle to conceive in season 4 and the heartbreak she feels at finding out she may not be able to conceive naturally, but this season is all about the process of her becoming a mother. I admire what the writers do with Piper in this episode (and season 5 generally), because I assume that a lot of Charmed’s viewers back in the day were young women and girls that perhaps didn’t have children so a large chunk of the audience probably couldn’t relate to what Piper was going through. However, becoming a mother is one of the most significant and life-changing things any woman can go through and it deserves to be explored properly. I know from close friends and family that have children how emotionally and mentally difficult it is. The assumption is that having a child should be a happy time - particularly the pregnancy when you’re celebrating and enjoying getting everything ready for the baby - but it’s actually very overwhelming. Piper’s feelings of fear and panic are particularly fitting when you consider the context of her pregnancy and life. She’s been trying a long time to get pregnant, so immediately she’s putting pressure on herself for everything to be perfect; she’s a first-time mother with no other women close to her that are mothers to seek advice and comfort from and she has very specific fears due to Patty dying when she was very young. I like how the episode starts out portraying Piper’s fear as coming from wanting to protect the baby, but that in the end it actually runs deeper than that and it’s her fear of leaving her baby without a mother. It echoes many of the fears that Prue had of repeating Patty’s history, and now as Piper is becoming a mother it’s natural that she would start to feel that way too. The fact that Piper casts a spell to remove her fear is not unlike Phoebe becoming a mermaid to avoid her emotional issues - they’re both trying to erase and suppress their feelings as a way to deal with them. But Piper removing her fear only endangers her and her baby (I still don’t know how the baby survived after the physical trauma Piper endured in this episode, I’m assuming Wyatt was constantly healing her from the womb) and Patty coming to her towards the end of the episode is the beautiful ending to that. Patty reassures her that Piper isn’t her, she’s her own person and things are and will be different for her child. It ends with Piper realising that whilst Patty only had Penny for support, she has Leo and Paige and Phoebe. She has a fantastic support system and she needs to start leaning on them instead of trying to handle it all on her own. 

As for Paige, she doesn’t have as much of a clear defined arc in this episode, but what is made clear is how much responsibility she’s taken on within the family. In addition to working a full-time job as a social worker (she gets promoted in this episode, yay!) she works her butt off to save Mylie, to get Phoebe back and to help Piper. She has to juggle all of these aspects of her life and all these responsibilities, and the chaos she has to endure perfectly sets up her fantastic arc which spans across the series with Paige quitting her job and devoting herself entirely to witchcraft. 

Happily Ever After (5x03)

God, I love this episode so much. Like I said, I’m a sucker for fairy tales and this entire episode is all about fairy tales, so what’s not to love? I enjoy the magic in this episode, the folklore but like nearly all of my other favourite episodes, it’s a great episode for character development. There’s a continued exploration of the arcs that were established in A Witch’s Tail and each sister’s arc is handled well. 

Piper is still trying to find a way to handle the responsibility of being a mother-to-be and whilst she’s overcome her initial fear of leaving her child motherless, she’s now concerned about what it means to have a magical child. This predicament leads to Piper summoning Grams and I always love to see Piper and Grams interact. Whilst I appreciate seeing the sisters stand on their own two feet and find their own way, these moments are really necessary. Everybody needs guidance and support from our parental/guardian figures and Grams visiting at this time feels very fitting. Piper needs her and Grams has a lot of valuable advice to share. However, Grams being back taps into a vital part of Piper’s personality that rears it’s head whenever Grams is around - her passivity. I’ve mentioned it before, but naturally Piper isn’t a leader, she’s very passive and allows others to take charge. Since Grams is an authoritarian anyway and has a very strong influence over Piper, we see Piper getting overshadowed by Grams. Grams starts dictating what Piper and the sisters should do, and instead of making her own decisions Piper falls into the habit of agreeing with Grams’ decisions because she doesn’t have faith in her own ability to make decisions. This also taps into another insecurity Piper has - her capability as the matriarch as the family. As I discussed when analysing Long Live the Queen, Piper feels that she fails to live up to Prue’s standards as the eldest sister, but she also feels that she fails to live up to Grams’ standards as the matriarch. For Piper, this episode is all about reassuring her that she is a powerful woman and witch that is a capable wife, sister, mother and matriarch. As Grams says at the end of the episode, she was there to remind Piper that she doesn’t need her. It’s such an important experience for Piper to have because up until this point she doubts her ability to assume that role of responsibility. Although it certainly doesn’t completely resolve Piper’s insecurities about this (as you’ll see as I talk about the other episodes), it’s a very nice episode for this evolving arc that she has. 

As for Phoebe, this episode is still about her trying to move on from Cole and the aftermath of their relationship. Throughout the episode she assumes Cole is the one responsible for bringing the fairy tales to life and trying to sabotage them, but of course, it’s not him. It’s easy for Phoebe to demonise Cole because that way she can project everything she’s feeling onto him and place blame, but all she’s doing is avoiding the fundamental issue which is that her experience with Cole has deeply affected her. She no longer has faith in herself, she doesn’t trust her own judgement and as a result she’s closed her off to those around her. The episode ends with Cole taking her to Adam and encouraging her to trust her initial instincts that he was a good guy. He says that she needs to learn to trust herself again before she can trust him. I appreciate the message that Phoebe needs to find a way to move on from Cole and that part of that is realising that not all men are evil and that she needs to trust her judgement of character, but personally, I wouldn’t have written it this way. It feels like there’s so much emphasis on Phoebe opening herself back up to love but it’s way too early for that. It makes more sense as part of an arc whereby Phoebe and Cole find their way back to each other, but that doesn’t happen so I do struggle to see the significance of this. Personally, I do have quite a lot of issues with the way Phoebe’s character is written post season 4 and the Source plot generally. I don’t think that Cole ruined Phoebe, I think that the writers lost sight of Phoebe’s character after season 4 and didn’t know how to write the aftermath of such a dark plot. They pursued the path with Phoebe becoming Queen of the Underworld and being pregnant, but didn’t consider how hard it would be to deal with the traumatic aftermath of that and their choices were pretty poor. I thought this was worth mentioning now, because from this point onwards, whenever I discuss Phoebe (and Cole or Phoebe/Cole) you’ll notice that I’m very critical because I don’t like the way it was handled or how the writers ruined both characters post season 4. 

Moving onto Paige, I really like her arc in this episode. Since quitting her job, she’s dedicating herself to the craft and is working on a protection potion that Grams did. This creates the perfect moment for Paige to meet Grams. The two bond over making the potion, Grams notes that Paige has a natural flair for the craft and it boosts Paige and allows her to see her own potential. Meeting Grams also provides conflict for Paige, who having been adopted and never having met Grams, has difficulty accepting Grams as her grandmother. I personally love that they bring up this issue and that Paige doesn’t immediately bond with Grams. Paige’s adoptive family are not mentioned nearly enough throughout the series, so it’s good to actually hear Paige talk about how important her adoptive grandparents were to her and how she loved them. It’s also good to see Grams accept this and to express her hopes that one day Paige can come to love her as a grandparent too but that she would never expect nor want to replace her grandparents. It’s nice to see that the two bond over their similar traits, in this case their stubbornness and the episode ends with a lovely payoff, with Paige calling Grams ‘Grams’ for the first time and it’s a lovely ending. It further establishes Paige in the Halliwell fold since she has now met Grams and had the opportunity to get to know her. I also like the responsibility Paige takes in this episode. I think the intricacies of Paige’s character tend to fade into the background, but honestly, throughout season 4 and 5 she is always right there working to help or save the sisters. In this episode, she’s with Piper to comfort her about having a magical baby, she follows Phoebe when she transforms into Cinderella to make sure she’s safe and she works to make the vanquishing potion. Paige is always actively there taking care of the family and I think those little details are often overlooked when it comes to Paige. 

Putting aside characterisation, I love this episode because I just think it’s fun. The big bad wolf, Paige in a coffin as Snow White with the dwarfs around her and Phoebe getting stuck in a pumpkin is kind of ridiculous but I still love it. I appreciate the way the lighter themes of fairy-tales are intertwined with genuine character development. 

Sympathy for the Demon (5x07)

This episode is by far one of the best in the entire series. I honestly just think this episode is brilliant. It’s a fantastic Paige-centric episode, a great Cole-centric episode, it provides great insight into all of the sister’s with the manifestation of their greatest fears and it’s generally an interesting plot that’s dark, scary and emotional.  Generally speaking, I see this episode as being a metaphor for mental health. Barbas consistently invades the minds of the characters, twisting their perceptions and fuelling their greatest fears and making them increasingly paranoid and frenzied. It’s comparable to mental illnesses like schizophrenia and other types of psychosis. I think that’s why I find it so dark and emotional.

I know that Cole is like marmite - you either love him or hate him - but this episode reminds me why I love him. The nature of Cole’s character opens him up to so many possibilities and this episode demonstrates that fantastically. Because of the evil powers he has he’s susceptible to corruption from Barbas and is also a target because of the amount of power he has. But in spite of the evil magic he carries, this episode shows that Cole is clearly not evil. His second greatest fear is that he is evil, and that in itself is proof that he’s clearly not evil because someone who is truly evil wouldn’t care about being evil. His greatest fear of all is hurting Phoebe, which is not only proof that he’s still completely in love with her but that he feels remorse and guilt for the hurt he’s caused her in the past and is terrified of doing it again. When Cole becomes aware that someone is playing with his mind he immediately orbs to the manor and asks for help from the only people he knows who have the capacity to be able to help him. He’s afraid he may hurt someone and he asks the sisters and Leo to stop that from happening. When Paige offers him the power stripping potion, he takes it despite knowing he won’t be able to protect himself, because his fear of hurting Phoebe is more powerful. Love him or hate him, in this episode Cole is a victim, just like he was in season 4 with the Source and it’s actually very sad to see how his mental state deteriorates as a result of Barbas’ influence in this episode. The clue is in the title “Sympathy for the Demon”, we’re supposed to feel sorry for Cole in this episode and I definitely do. When Paige strips his powers, Cole is once again free of that burden that’s plagued him for so long - evil magic - but then he’s forced to take his powers back. That final scene where he takes his powers back and shimmers out is pretty heartbreaking. He doesn’t want his powers back, but knows he has to so that Barbas doesn’t have them and you see that disappointment all over his face that he has to take that burden back. You can see how much it hurts him that once again he’s evil in Phoebe’s eyes and you can feel how much he just wants to be good and to not have to deal with having those powers anymore. Once again, I have to say that I have a lot of issues with the way Cole is written this season, particularly after this episode. If you want to know more about my thoughts you can read about them here. For now, all I really need to say is that this is probably the last episode whereby I can actually get on-board with the way Cole is written. After this I think the writers did him a complete injustice and unnecessarily and unfairly destroyed his character. 

Moving on from Cole, this episode is fantastic for Paige’s ongoing character arc. At the beginning we see her trying to perfect the Animal Conjuring spell created by Prue and her frustration at being able to do it. It’s the perfect way of showing Paige’s insecurity about living in Prue’s shadow and generally being on the outside of the Halliwell family. When Cole drops by the manor, Paige’s instincts are that he needs help but Piper and Phoebe dismiss this with Piper literally telling her, “It’s two against one”. This kind of treatment of Paige is common throughout the seasons, with Piper and Phoebe voting against her when making important decisions or dismissing her instincts, and it only further reinforces Paige’s insecurities and feelings of not belonging. Despite giving up her job to commit to being a witch full-time, she doesn’t feel she’s being taken seriously by her sisters and she’s still unable to do spells that Prue was able to. Paige’s inferiority complex with Prue is central to this episode, and a very valid and important aspect of Paige’s character to explore. Barbas articulates all of the emotions and thoughts Paige is experiencing in this episode: “So the fear that you're not good enough, that you're not worthy of the power of three. Oh, go on, prove yourself. Save Cole the same way Phoebe did before. Your sisters will be so proud.” As a result of this, Paige charges off on her own to help Cole which, as we all know, has disastrous consequences. Once again, it’s not the first time we see Paige behave this way. In Size Matters and A Knights Tale, Paige acted in a similar way and wanted to and/or chose to act alone on her instincts without her sisters. In this episode, the consequences of her actions cause the sisters to scald her which only exacerbates Paige’s feelings of inadequacy. When Barbas brings the sisters greatest fears to life, it’s interesting that Paige’s is claustrophobia demonstrated by the walls closing in on her. This feels very metaphorical for Paige’s emotions throughout the episode. She feels that she’s desperately trying to get ahead, to be better and do better, but it’s only causing the pressure to grow. She feels pressure from herself and her sisters closing in on her and it’s overwhelming. Paige overcoming this fear is only the start of her finding a resolution to her struggles in this episode. Next, she has to overcome her inferiority complex with Prue. To do this, she’s put in a position whereby she’s the only one that can defeat Barbas and strip his powers. It’s an interesting scene, because Prue is central to it: 

Phoebe: Paige, orb the potion. Paige: It's in a puddle. Piper: You can do it. Prue did. Barbas: Ay, there's the rub. You're no Prue are you?

In the end, it’s these comparisons to Prue that give Paige the strength and determination to orb the potion and strip Barbas’ powers. It’s the second part of Paige overcoming her fears. By this point, she’s overcome her claustrophobia (a metaphor for the pressure she’s putting on herself to be the perfect witch and sister) and in this scene she proves that she’s capable of defeating Barbas, something that only Prue has been able to do in the past, which Piper makes a point of earlier in the episode. The final step is Paige perfecting the Animal Conjuring spell, which we see Paige finally accomplish at the end of the episode, affirming that she’s every bit as capable as Prue was. Overall, this episode is a beautiful and emotional one for Paige that taps into the core of her character perfectly. The circumstances under which she came to find the family mean that her insecurities are completely understandable. And her feeling inferior to Prue is particularly understandable since Piper and Phoebe idolised Prue and Paige feels that to a certain extent she should fill Prue’s shoes. It’s interesting that Paige feels this way, because Piper as the eldest sister feels the exact same way and we see her struggle with that. It would’ve been nice to see a conversation between the two sisters about these feelings, because I think it’s something that they both could’ve bonded over and related to. 

This episode is undoubtedly fantastic for Cole and Paige in regards to their development, but it provides all of the sisters with good character arcs that build upon the ones we’ve seen from them in the previous season and the start of season 5. Piper’s magnified fears as a result of being pregnant are built upon in this episode. We see that Piper fears tragedy following her wherever she goes and that whenever she experiences a glimpse of happiness, it’ll be destroyed. This builds upon a core fear that exists within the Halliwell family generally of dying young and the high risk of death generally because of the danger that being witches puts them in. Piper’s fear of this is magnified at this point because she’s going to be a mother, and she fears leaving her child motherless but also of not being able to protect her child from harm and unhappiness. It’s sad that we don’t get to actually see Piper overcome this fear, but the point is that she does and in doing so she is able to save her sisters. I feel like this is a subtle call-back to Piper’s fears of not being an adequate big sister and of failing to protect her sisters, because in this instance she not only overcomes her own fears but actually helps Phoebe overcome hers and in turn saves Paige’s life. At the end of the episode we see Piper laughing and express that she’s realised that she’s experienced heartbreak before, but that she always survives so she should enjoy the happy moments whilst she can. 

Phoebe’s arc in this episode is the perfect follow-up from her experience in season 4. Her greatest fears are that her current boyfriend (Miles) is evil and that she is evil too. Once again, this is a fear that has a long history with Phoebe going all the way back to season 1 with Is There a Woogy in the House? whereby Phoebe worried that she was more evil than her sisters and that’s why she was targeted by the Woogyman. This is probably one of the best episodes for properly exploring the aftermath of the Source plot-line in how it affected both Phoebe and Cole. Interestingly, their fears almost mirror one another with both of them fearing that they’re evil. Phoebe’s fears are understandable and seeing her come face to face with them in such a brutal way which results in her nearly beating Paige to death is heartbreaking. I also feel like in a subtle way this happening to Paige was to remind Phoebe (and Piper) how much they love Paige and how lost they’d be without her. It’s clear that they love her, but I think they have a tendency to forget that they need to show that. At this point, Paige is still new to the family and it’s naive to think that Piper and Phoebe would have developed the same bond with Paige as they have with each other and had with Prue. So I like that there’s a moment like this where Piper and Phoebe experience what it feels like to lose Paige, because it affirms how important she is to them. Returning back to Phoebe, this episode is pivotal in getting her to trust herself again, just like Cole said in Happily Ever After. Phoebe’s relationship with Miles is very important to her recovery after her relationship with Cole, and it’s this episode that allows her to let her walls drop and let Miles in without being terrified that he’s evil or that her own judgement is unreliable. 

Overall, I think this episode is brilliant. It builds upon the sisters core character arcs that have their roots in previous seasons and brings resolution to them in a fitting way. It provides a great exploration of Cole’s character and I’d argue this is probably one of the best Cole episodes across the series because it captures the essence of his character. It’s a highly emotive episode that taps into the sisters worst fears and brings them to life in a very harrowing way. It’s memorable because it brings back one of the series most loved Big Bad’s. I honestly just love everything about this episode. It proves that when Charmed is at its best it’s a bloody fantastic show that has everything going for it.

As an addendum to what I’ve already said, I know that originally Brad Kern planned for Paige and Cole to have an affair in this season and I feel like this episode could’ve potentially been the starting point for this. I’m so glad Rose and Julian spoke against it, because I think it would’ve ruined Paige’s character and her relationships with the sisters beyond repair, but you can see the foundations for that potential in this episode. Paige sympathises with Cole in this episode, she helps him and she defends him throughout saying that he’s an innocent and needs protecting and that they shouldn’t return his powers back to him. Likewise, when the sisters are being hard on Paige for stripping Cole’s powers without consulting them first, Cole defends Paige. The fact that Paige shows Cole understanding and compassion alone could’ve been a potential building block for a romance since Cole essentially spends the entire season in isolation and desperately seeks human connection and affection from others, particularly Phoebe. 

Y Tu Mummy Tambien (5x10)

This is one of the episodes in this series that I think is very underrated. The concept of it is a little dumb, Jeric is boring and underwhelming, but I love this episode because it’s so significant for the relationship between the sisters. It also has some cute and funny moments which are always fun to watch. 

Lets start with the lighthearted scenes shall we? We have Piper trying on maternity clothes with Paige, which is one of my favourite casual sister moments. Later on, we have follow up scenes of this with Darryl trying to touch Piper’s stomach and her threatening to blow off his hand (typical Piper!) and Leo telling her that she looks beautiful when he catches her self-consciously looking at herself in the mirror. It was nice that this little bit that is supposed to be funny turns out to express and deeper issue for Piper that she feels that she’s being treated differently because she’s pregnant. It’s a very valid issue that lots of pregnant women experience and I’m so glad they gave Piper the chance to express that just because she’s a pregnant, she’s still the same person and she doesn’t want to be coddled or protected. 

It’s the latter half of this episode that makes it so special to me. The fight between Piper and Cole is one of the most badass moments of the series, but seeing Piper have to choose between saving Phoebe and Paige is heartbreaking. Considering the struggles Piper has had with being the eldest sister and forging a bond with Paige, this awful situation she finds herself in is quite fitting. It allows Piper to grow further into her role as big sister. She’s faced with an impossible situation and by using her smarts and trusting implicitly in her sisters, she manages to save both of them. This is Piper in full big sister mode and it’s so beautiful to see. What’s most important about this process is just seeing that Piper loves Paige every bit as much as she loves Phoebe and then when faced with a choice between them she literally cannot and will not choose. Not only does this solidify Piper’s love for both her sisters, and give some resolution to Paige’s worry that she’s not fully included within the family, but it shows how well the sisters work together. When Piper reads the spell to dispossess Paige, Paige intuitively knows exactly what Piper’s plan is and goes along with it without Piper even having to communicate it. Paige’s line at the end of that scene, “You really can’t mess with sisters” is great because it emphasises how united the sisters were in this and how unbreakable. It’s a great homage to how far Piper and Paige have come since season 4, since Piper found it difficult to accept Paige and bond with her and Paige felt pushed out by her. But here we see Piper loving and cherishing Paige as much as Phoebe and the two of them intuitively communicating and working together to save the day. This right here is really why the episode is one of my favourites, because you can’t beat those key sister moments and this is one of them. 

And the final scene of the episode has a perfect light-hearted ending which perfectly captures the dynamic of the sisters. We get Phoebe and Paige pampering themselves and Piper walking in with maternity clothes on, and we get this sweet moment between the three of them where they’re being goofy and just being sisters. It’s such a touching scene and a very underrated sister moment. 

Centennial Charmed (5x12)

Once again, this episode is one of favourites and definitely makes it into my top 10 favourite episodes of the series. In many ways it feels like a direct follow-up to Sympathy for the Demon, with the focus being on Paige and Cole and their conflict with one another. Whilst in Sympathy for the Demon Paige’s mission is to help Cole, in this episode it’s to vanquish him. It’s kind of sad that Paige and Cole wind back up in this place of resentment, when they were able to find compassion and understanding for each other earlier in the season, but nonetheless, their rivalry makes for a fantastic episode. 

Despite the fact that Cole has a lot of focus in this episode, I’ll mostly be skipping over his characterisation (just as I did in Y Tu Mummy Tambien), because I find it to be too problematic to analyse. I personally feel like the Cole we see in this episode is a black-washed version of him. Cole may be angry and frustrated and tired of Phoebe’s rejection and obsessed with winning her back, but he’s also smart. He’s smart enough to realise that Paige is not the reason their relationship broke down. He and Phoebe were at their happiest at the start of season 4 when Paige came into their life, and although Paige was uncertain of him in the early episodes of the season, she only really went hard for him after he became the Source, which she had every right to. So Cole resorting to creating an alternate timeline without Paige so he can be with Phoebe is illogical and not something Cole would do. 

As for the episode itself, excluding Cole’s characterisation it’s brilliant. Once again we get a Paige-centric episode that explores her position within the family and her desire to be the best witch she can be so as to make her sisters proud. Just as she has in the past, Paige decides to go off on her own without consulting Piper and Phoebe first and tries to vanquish Cole. You’d think by now Paige would’ve learned to confide in her sisters first, but I think this ongoing trait of Paige’s is very reflective of how anyone in her position would behave. She’s used to being independent and acting alone, she’s not used to having to run every decision she makes by other people and having to vote on it. Furthermore, she has a history of feeling ignored and suppressed by her sisters, which deters her even more from confiding in them about her concerns and instincts as a witch. As a result of this, Paige tells Piper and Phoebe that she wants to move out. And then Cole casts his little spell and Paige’s world is turned upside down, quite literally. 

The alternate reality Paige finds herself in is so important in showing the impact Paige’s character had on the show. Even after having been on the show for over a season and a half, there’s still a lot of ambiguity surrounding Paige. She still doesn’t always feel secure in her position in the Halliwell family, she’s lacks confidence in her ability as a witch, she feels overshadowed by Prue and in some way clings to her life before she met her sisters where she was an independent only child. Building upon what Y Tu Mummy Tambien showed us, this episode proves how important Paige is to the sisters and what they could’ve become without her. Without Paige, Piper is a vigilante demon hunter, who is divorced from her husband, estranged from her sister, is twisted up with vengeance grief about Prue’s death and on a relentless mission to kill Shax to get her revenge. Without Paige, Phoebe is unhappy and unfulfilled and trapped in a volatile situation with Cole in the manor which has been overrun by demons. Both Piper and Phoebe are visibly miserable and lack any of the happiness, fulfilment or purpose they have in the real timeline. This episode shows that Piper’s line from Sam, I Am “Paige is the reason I’m still standing here, she brought this family back together”, is 100% true. Paige isn’t just a replacement for Prue, she’s a special, unique and much needed and valued member of the Halliwell family who quite literally keeps the family together in the aftermath of Prue’s death. Everything Paige does for Piper and Phoebe is realised in this episode. Those subtle scenes or moments where Paige supports and encourages her sisters are more significant than anyone could realise. It’s a beautiful tribute to Paige and everything she’s done for the family, and that’s a large part of the reason I love the episode. 

In addition to that, I just love the sister relationships in this episode. Paige gets to bond with Piper all over again, and it’s wonderful to see that even in an alternate dimension, Piper is able to overcome her initial uncertainty to welcome Paige into her heart and trust her. Piper seeing Paige’s skills in witchcraft is a nice call out to all of the hard work Piper has put into teaching Paige and provides common ground for them to bond. Not only did Paige save Piper and Phoebe in the real timeline, she saves them in this timeline. She brings Piper and Phoebe back together, reconstitutes the Power of Three, helps ease Piper’s grief over Prue’s death and sets Phoebe free of her miserable relationship with Cole and reaffirms once again why she is so vital to the well-being of the Halliwell family. 

Just like Y Tu Mummy Tambien, this episode ends with a perfect final scene that is light-hearted and taps into the bond between the sisters. Experiencing life without Piper and Phoebe makes Paige realise how much she loves them and how grateful she is to have found them, which in turn makes her go back on her decision to move out. It’s one of my favourite Paige episodes, because it’s such an effective way of showing Paige how important she is and her family needs her and how much she needs them. It’s all part of the ongoing character arc of Paige trying to find her place within the family and I’m all for it. It might seem repetitive to some, but finding a sense of belonging with the sisters is no easy task. Prue, Piper and Phoebe had a very close relationship that was so intense that even Leo expressed in season 2 that he felt excluded sometimes. For Paige to walk into the family in the immediate aftermath of Prue’s death was very hard on her, because she knew how close that sister relationship was and felt she’d never have the same. Not to mention how difficult it was for Paige to adjust to having sisters after spending her entire life as an only child. From Paige’s perspective it can seem like a positive and happy thing that she found the sisters, which of course it was, but it was also incredibly hard and I love that even this late into season 5, the writers were still giving Paige’s transition onto the show and into the family adequate focus. 

Moving on from Paige’s arc and journey in this episode, the plot itself is generally great. I’m a sucker for time travelling episodes, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned already at some point when writing this series. It’s an intense episode that takes you on a wild ride. And despite how predictable many of Charmed’s episodes are, this one doesn’t feel quite so predicable. The alternate timeline makes it feel that anything’s possible and although we’ve seen Cole get vanquished before, you don’t really see it coming in this episode. Even until the last second when Phoebe is holding the potion, you doubt whether she’ll actually throw it. After all, alternate reality Phoebe may not be psychologically and emotionally in the same place as our Phoebe, and may still be in love with him and believe they can come back from everything. We’ve seen her kill him before, but to me, this doesn’t feel like one of those moments. It feels almost too good to be true, but narratively speaking, it makes perfect sense. Cole creates this hideous alternate timeline to win Phoebe’s heart and ironically it ends with his death. It’s karma; Cole’s punishment for going against the Avatars advice and manipulating reality for his own selfish desires without giving consideration to the consequences. It’s also a conclusive end to his hold over Phoebe, which at this point has been a long time coming. 

Overall, this episode is just brilliant. I can’t express how much I love it. It has a great plot, great character development and a great resolution. Once again, this episode is proof that when Charmed is at its best it’s damn good. 

There you have it, my favourite season 5 episodes. Originally, when selecting the episodes I was surprised I didn’t have more favourites since I consider season 5 to be one of my favourite seasons. But on reflection I realised that it’s really the quality of the episodes in this season that makes me like it so much. As I’ve already said, for me, Sympathy for the Demon and Centennial Charmed are two of the best episodes of the series and that makes a massive difference to how I feel about season 5. I know that many fans dislike the more “cartoonish” and “campy” vibe that season 5 creates, but I personally really like it. It’s a nice change in pace from seasons 1-4 and provides some amusing moments, but the show still manages to keep the serious and emotional undertones of the show. Plus, the characterisation is strong this season, particularly Paige’s. This is by far my favourite Paige season, I think she’s brilliant. Her sisterhood with Piper is also fantastically written and it’s lovely to see that develop after how much they struggled in season 4. I have an issue with Phoebe’s characterisation and the way her relationship with Cole played out, but regardless of that, we still got some amazing episodes out of it. The second half of this season lets it down a little for me. Whilst I like a lot of the episodes from the first half, after The Day the Magic Died my enjoyment for the show just seems to plummet. And ever since I was a little girl, whenever I’ve re-watched the show I notice the same pattern that I drop off around this point in the series and lose my motivation to keep watching. Nonetheless, this season will always be one of my favourites, because of the fantastic episodes it has and also because the first ever episode I saw of the show was from season 5 (I don’t remember which one because I was so young, but I just know that Paige had short red hair). 

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts and as always feel free to share yours with me. The next post in this series will be season 6. A little heads up, the posts from now on are likely to be significantly shorter since I’m not a huge fan of seasons 6-8 and have a lot less favourite episodes from those seasons (in fact, I’ll probably have to scrape the barrel just to choose episodes I genuinely consider my favourites). 

[lj-writes]

Rey and Finn: Responses to political and economic oppression

In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets and steal loaves of bread. -Anatole France

I have written before about how Finn’s decency was an act of subversion against the militaristic totalitarianism he grew up under. There’s another character in TFA who is also kind and selfless in an unjust system, and that’s Rey. The difference is the kind of oppression these two characters lived under, which are diametrically opposed but just as corrosive in their different ways.

Finn was a slave soldier of a totalitarian dictatorship, while Rey was an exploited worker under a capitalist who could rob and swindle people in the absence of law and order. To put it in a simplified way, Finn lived in a system with no freedoms while Rey lived in a system of unchecked freedoms. And while freedom without any restriction might sound like a wonderful thing, in practice it tends to mean that people with power and capital get to restrict the freedoms of people without such advantages.

The only reason I don’t call Rey a slave is because, as Finn pointed out and she doesn’t deny, she was always “free” to leave. Of course, not everyone has Rey’s skills (these being another form of capital) and for them the freedom to leave was meaningless when they had no better alternatives. It’s also worth pointing out that the reason Rey wasn’t leaving and wanted to go back was her amnesia and trauma, which parallels the way many mentally ill people are trapped in exploitative situations due to their illness.

One way to see the contrast between these two systems of oppression is the tragicomical scene where Finn stumbles into Niima Outpost straight out of the desert, begging for water. Horrific as Finn’s former circumstances were, as little kindness as he had been taught to expect from the world, it didn’t occur to him that he couldn’t get a glass of water when he was parched. The First Order had no reason to dehydrate or starve their soldiers, after all, unless the deprivation served some useful purpose such as punishment or making an example. It says something that the inhabitants of Niima did not offer the most basic resources that even an escapee from a fascist armed force took for granted.

(And no, the lack of assistance to Finn was not because Niima Outpost was located in a desert. Many desert cultures in our world developed customs of hospitality to strangers in part because their surroundings were so harsh. There is nothing about being in a desert environment that by itself makes people standoffish to strangers and unwilling to offer aid.)

And how did Rey react to this dog-eat-dog disorder where no one did a kindness for anyone else and it was everyone for themselves? She went out of her way to fight for and save a droid she didn’t even know. She gave up what was an actual feast in her hunger, and spent what was to her precious time away from Jakku where her loved ones might come looking for her. Like Finn, she acted directly against the logic of her surroundings: Finn disobeyed orders in a situation where defiance meant swift punishment, while Rey refused to go along with a brutally exploitative capitalism where only profit and survival counted for anything.

This difference shows in what I see as the definitive moments early on in the movie when these two characters show who they were. For Finn it was when he refused to shoot unarmed prisoners when ordered to do so, and for Rey it was when she refused to sell out BB-8 for her own survival and comfort.

These choices had real consequences for both characters. For Finn it meant immediate danger; for Rey it meant not just hunger pangs but also the lack of a much-needed store of food when she could never be sure when she would get her next meal, and how much of it.

Of course both political and economic oppression, when pushed, converge into violence against the weak. Although the trade for BB-8 was presented to Rey as a transaction, that supposed deal (which was already incredibly unfair–I mean, food in exchange for a fully functional military-grade astrometrics droid?) escalated to robbery once Unkar Plutt decided “no” was not an option. The same lack of governance and order that allowed him to rip the scavengers off and keep them in a soft form of indentured servitude also allowed him to rob these desperately poor people with impunity. In this way, markets without government or rules overlap with totalitarianism in deprieving the vulnerable of their choices and exposing them to violence.

(There are still significant differences, of course. For one thing Rey did not seem overly worried about retaliation, and later wanted to return to Jakku–and probably Niima Outpost, since that was where her family would know where to find her–once BB-8 was safe. This is in contrast to Finn, who knew his life was forfeit if the First Order caught up with him. Of course, Rey could be so confident because Unkar Plutt can’t bring to bear much more force than a few goons she can dispatch easily. For people without her fighting skills, or for those faced with a more dangerous opponent, the situation could be very different.)

Though originally Finn and Rey started with simple refusals to go along, they both had to escalate to more overt defiance because of the pushback their actions got. Finn’s refusal to kill led to the threat of discipline and his choice to escape with Poe; Rey’s refusal of Unkar Plutt’s offer led to his attempt to kidnap BB-8 and her choice to fight back. After these acts of defiance, Finn’s and Rey’s paths converged on helping the Resistance and carrying on Poe’s mission.

Both characters were, however, limited in what they were willing to do because of their personal traumas, which were rooted in the different ways they had been hurt by their upbringing. Finn was very reasonably terrified of the First Order’s willingness and ability to annihilate whatever stood in its way, while Rey feared being abandoned and forgotten all her life. It’s true that her original trauma came from being left on Jakku, but it says something about her isolation at Niima Outpost that no one helped a child who was hurting and alone. Her surroundings were as hostile to a girl starving in body and soul as they were to a man desperate for a sip of water. Both violence and alienation left deep marks on our two leads’ spirits.

As I will discuss in a later essay, the core story of The Force Awakens is the story of how Rey and Finn helped each other heal so they could fight back against the forces that had hurt them. Their acts of courage and decency, though personal at the start, were ultimately acts of resistance that would bring down the political and economic orders that had tried and failed to crush them.

And though the tyrannical First Order is the more visible and immediate enemy, it’s important to remember from Rey’s story how unjust and damaging unchecked markets can be. The fight is not only about bringing down fascism but what comes after: unless the Resistance and their allies can establish communities based not only on political and economic freedom but also mutual aid and justice, they may find themselves fighting the same fight again much as their legendary heroes are.

[galbraithneil92]

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[lucehowellenquiry]

How does engaging in the arts creative projects make a qualitative difference to young people’s lives? A personal testimony

From my mother, piety and beneficence, and abstinence, not only from evil deeds, but even from evil thoughts; and further, simplicity in my way of living, far removed from the habits of the rich.

From my great-grandfather, not to have frequented public schools, and to have had good teachers at home, and to know that on such things a man should spend liberally.  - The Meditations  By Marcus Aurelius  

In Marcus Aurelius meditations, his first book observes how the identity we form is an amalgamation of everyone we know. He laments on the qualities, attributions and experiences of his own extended communities; aims to document how they have multiplied the dimensions of his own personality, and shifted his chemistry further into a deep understanding of ethical morality. When Peter first invited me to write for this book, I considered this reflective process, what the scope is for diving into our own collective  histories, and how this can provide potential points for pinnacle reflection.

My name is Luce Howell, a pracititioner interested in theatre, film and community practice, and I currently study Performance and Creative Enterprise at the Guildhall. I was raised in Leeds in West Yorkshire, and moved to London when I was 18.

Throughout this testimony, I will be looking at my own experiences; how I have found myself moving through a multitude of different worlds, but have ultimately come to learn a steadiness of purpose and survival due to a direct engagement in the arts and communities that surround them. So much of my morality and my route into belonging in places was due to the arts practitioners that allowed me to tap in to different modes of expression and ways of making in my youth. It feels only right in my writing, similar to Aurelius, to pull apart exactly the mechanisms of success in my own life, and offer them as a perspective on how the arts can bring about difference in young people. Participating in socially-engaged projects from an early age provides both direct opportunities to breathe through personal feelings of struggle and isolation, and it also allows space to develop moral understandings of the ways storytelling, play and artistic practice can deeply enhance feelings of compassion, togetherness and empathy.

In a high school in the suburbs of Leeds, before every production, before every exam, Tracey Smith, the head of drama gathers the ensemble of the room to teach the the song Kumula Vista. I’m fifteen years old, about to play my first speaking role. Gladhands in West Side Story; a nervous child in character, and an even more nervous child in reality. I was terrified of the world, utterly terrified of the concept of performing, let alone the potential for failure in front of an audience, I remember observing the buzz on our first opening night of the show. You could see the excitement in the older student’s eyes, their bones and milk teeth warm up for this moment. They know what is to come, they gather ritually in uniform, awaiting Tracey’s call.

I can see the confusion of the younger students, who are newer to the Drama department. I wait for the moment of engagement they are going to commit to; they are being baptized into this community through a wash of sound. This tradition has run through the Drama department of Allerton High School for years, and there will come a time when they, too, will be the older students that cheer upon hearing the first words:  ‘’Eenie meenie desa meenie ooh walla walla meenie’’.   Tracey commands this within the room, asking us to repeat. We all follow in unison.

‘’Ip dididley eye oo whmop and shoop da’’, she continues.  Kumula vista is sung firstly as a vocal warmup, but most importantly as an opportunity for affirmation, a reminder to be silly, to be present and loud, that the drama room is a safe place for students, where not only do you sing together, but you remind each other of the vitality of being young; share out the nerves, celebrate this part of your life that so often is so scary for a lot of youth.  

Now, before every job interview, every meeting, any Guildhall exam,  any first date and every packed tube carriage I have ever encountered, I find myself  singing quietly under my breathe,  just before I’m about to dive in: Kumula Kumula Kumula Vista…

This cognitive process of repeating mantras can be thought of more metaphorically - How can I and many others, as new arts practitioners, instill positive affirmations for young people to carry into their lives? There is no doubt that my time at Allerton High School led me to the career path I am on today, and it enabled me to develop an interest in community arts at large. Throughout my teenage years, I was exposed to the practice of Augusto Boal; learnt theory surrounding the theatre of the oppressed and engaged with local  applied community theatre companies as much as I could. From as young as 17, I was given the opportunity to collaborate among a group of students to devise a series of workshops tackling self-harm in young female students. It is opportunities as simple as this that I believe can provide lasting effects on young people. Teachers that take time to share philosophies outside conventional standardized learning, that are equally concerned with children’s sense of self, as well as their opportunities for gaining knowledge, are imperative within artistic practice. Fundamentally, I feel the interpersonal values the arts can provide for young people, on both a social and human level, speaks out strongly. The state of our political climate can currently feel like a terrifying place in history; there is rising epidemic rates of poverty, mental health issues and widespread oppression in just the UK alone. Equipping a rich artistic community in and outside of school offers a platform for discussion among young people; it can provide tools for thinking both critically and sensitively on their own personal struggles, and the struggles they may encounter socially.

In my own personal view, I believe firmly in the transformative power the arts can have in our human lives. It is not only integral to our cultural needs to question the fabric of how our society changes, but it also provides laughter, enjoyment, capacities for love and healing. There is a guttural sense of anger in me over how government bodies fail to recognize this; that our system at its core is hungry to push art out of education, in favour of standardized testing and exam-based models.

In one of my sessions at Guildhall, Jacob Sam-La Rose, [artist, poet and teacher], proclaimed to the class quite proudly after a discussion around habits and why humans form them, that we are pattern-making creatures. We so easily return to the same thought processes that our muscle memory instinctively craves. As humans, we fall, flop and stumble into the narratives we comfortably know. As a survivor of childhood sexual and physical abuse, I have spent a lot of my life understanding there are overarching statistics stacked up against people like me. Survivors of sexual abuse are three times more likely to suffer psychological abuse, develop physical health problems or fall into cycles of poverty.  There are habits that I could have formed from processing my trauma differently,  a narrative I know I so easily could have slipped into, but the presence of community in my life, my weird little obsession with theatre, the wonderful mentorship I had access to; All these elements gave me permission to survive. My point of contact at school through our devising company LS17 drove me to make, to explore my experience with trauma in a safe environment.   It eventually brought me to the city of London, brought me into an even more vast world of excitement and making, which continues to make positive effects on my life today.

There is no doubt that we are pattern-making creatures. But what stops us from deciding exactly what patterns we weave into our lives and the lives of others? What stops us from rejecting strict hegemonic codes of conduct that suggest fully embracing playfulness, art, and expression is a negative way to spearhead one’s life?