#it’s so funny too bc i think it’s literally like ‘i owe you my life’ ‘i just draw yaoi’

[mars-ipan]

so fucking weird and cool that so many of the artists i looked up to when i entered this fandom (and still look up to now) are my mutuals now. like. what !!!! hell yeah !!!! what !!!

[starboysbrainrot]

Since it’s jetko week, do you any hc about jetko ? Any hot takes about jetko ? Any specific thoughts ?

hey anon !

i think that my fav hc jetko would have to be either Jet becoming his personal bodyguard, first as an attempt to “keep the new Firelord in check” and then in an attempt to just protect Zuko when he sees how often Zuko’s life is threatened by him being the new Firelord.

or Jet & Zuko living together far from any big cities, with a big family, after abolishing the FN monarchy. it’s probably the least realistic one but it’s I think the one where both get that they deserve : a peaceful life, filled with love and happiness.

now if we’re speaking about hot takes, i posted this thread on x bc anon inspired me to put my thoughts on paper so I’m just gonna copy past it here

it’s not specifically jetko thoughts but I do think that the fandom tends to be too harsh on Jet & Zuko in one specific episode. and for me that’s City of Walls and Secret.

now don’t get me wrong. yes, Zuko was lying about his identity, yes Jet was stalking two people and started a fight, but that’s really, textually, not that bad. Jet is traumatised, paranoid and stressed so when he has the slightest hint that maybe Iroh might be a firbender he’s TERRIFIED literally and every single part of his brain that might think rationally just doesn’t work anymore. and that’s perfectly understandable given what happened to him.

that’s doesn’t make it 100% ok since, yeah they are so many EK citizens that might come from colonies, with mixed heritage, or with fn ancestry that might make them a firebender without being fire nation, and Jet had no way of being sure about this. but as I said his reaction is textually completely understandable.

now for Zuko, he would be in mortal danger if his identity was revealed (which people tend to forget) and he cannot afford to give up on his secret identity for a boy he barely knows. I know y’all like to make it big by saying he kind of betrayed jet’s trust, but jetko, as much as I love it spent max a few days together on the ferry, and that’s it. that’s literally it.

zuko even declines Jet’s offer because he cannot afford being close to someone when he is hiding his identity. cuz it would be risky, it would be even more lying, etc. it’s perfectly understandable and sincerely it funny that out of all the horrible things Zuko did it’s often that one that people will point out. I know that canon divergent jetko au might use that angst potential with Zuko lying to Jet but in canon it’s really not that deep. if he doesn’t lie = he dies/or gets imprisoned at BEST. if he does lie, he gets a chance at surviving both the EK and the FN. and that’s basically it.

as much as it is a popular trope to make Zuko or Jet guilty in jetko fics, I really don’t like it because canon jetko and fanon jetko are really two different things. canon jetko isn’t about betrayal. it’s more about how two severely flawed and traumatised teenagers start to form somehow a friendship because of how similar they are, but the instance of war, trauma and the sick need of survival get between them and tore them apart before they start to remotely form a meaningful relationship.

like in canon these two boys owe each other NOTHING. and I mean it. no Jet doesn’t owe Zuko his trust and no Zuko doesn’t owe Jet his honesty. not in that specific context. and that’s something that a lot of people don’t get about these two in canon

people even fail to realise that Jet’s lack of trust and hostility towards even the slightest hint of firebending & zuko trying to survive, burying his honesty to do so, are wonderful parallels that could be exploited in fics. not necessarily the “you lied/you attacked me” but just the “I had no other choice, I’m sorry” which is so much more tragic.

I would add that this specific trope of “Zuko earning Jet’s forgiveness” when it one sided doesn’t work for me. it works for ships like maiko or zukka, and especially zutara, but not really jetko. at least not if it isn’t reciprocated. like both guys did horrible things but none of these “horrible things” were directed towards eachother.

what happened in BSS is ultimately tragic because both didn’t had another choice. both were clinging on the idea of surviving. both were terrified by what could happen to them. DO YOU SEE HOW TRAGIC THAT IS 😔

[halucynator]

END OF 2023

sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx

hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)

so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶

@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh

@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍

@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶

@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want

@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'

@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)

@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️

@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu

@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3

@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3

@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3

@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕

@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33

@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍

@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️

these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME

also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶

@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)

[jack-kellys]

notes from december performance post-previews that i somehow just wrote up last night in august 2023 whattt how did that happennn:

the way jack replies to “you’re seeing stars alright” feels way more in response to crutchie’s attitude- and when he talks abt his dad getting stomped on it’s not just a context reveal. it’s jack telling crutchie he’s self-aware, he understands his shit place in the world and his desire to change it. just that it’s nice to dream. ow

“time for dreaming’s done” isn’t said with a smile. btw. if u even care

jack stealing finch’s mirror gets me every time

katherine looks back at jack at his “im crushed!” with a little smile

i get that the only reason buttons helps with a lot of the tricks is because he’s the DC but that doesn’t make it any less sweet… he’s always with splasher lmao

jack is quite uncomfortable with the nuns, he doesn’t look at any of them

never ever over spalsher’s little head tilt after his big flip

oscar grabs race’s collar on “i guess he didn’t take care of me!”

morris goes to hit crutchie again after pushing him to the ground before jack stops him

love when race bounces on his toes when he thinks he says something funny

morris blows his cig smoke into davey’s face when he’s grabbing him the extra paper

henry imitates les with finch as his davey, hobbling up to weasel down on his knees

jack rolls his eyes after telling davey “it’s just business” after shaking les’s hand. like can u believe this guy lmao

“mine taught me not to starve” looking at davey like ‘wtf is wrong with you’ LMAO. like jack’s irked with davey actually judging for something so ingrained into jack’s life fr

“HEY!! who was that guy >:(!”

medda checks on jack’s hair and he giggles mid sentence :) like “mooom in front of my friends??”

kaths look of Disgust when jack goes “i admire smart girls” is soooo done. she’s finished w this mf

katherine stays on the set as it shifts into WWK’s scene, staring at jack’s drawing, totally absorbed. i just think it’s fun how when davey sees jack’s backdrop he’s stunned in the same way kath is at her portrait. anyway

jack goes toward finch during the “our union is hereby formed to watch each other’s backs” after leaving ike and finch sweeeeerves away from him. finch only comes on board when davey does actually

when jack’s on the wagon with the “what if the delanceys come out swinging” etc he does a small laugh when the newsies all yell their response like he’s surprised !!

katherine is positioned right above the world’s door as if she’s. inside. ofc initially we read it as her just observing from above but it’s her literal building too.

“specs, you take queens.” “thank you!”

buttons gives kath a friendly wave and race offers his water cup when katherine comes into jacobi’s. walks right past the water even as race keeps his hand out lmfao

tommy lifts elmer into his arms after kath says they’d make front page

“this is not some little vaudeville im reviewing” felt more significant

“give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens” is a Plea.

welliguessitdependsonhowyoulookatitifyoulookandseebrooklynthenthey’rewithushaha! then race guns toward davey to yell at him

davey is not afraid to yell when his nerves get shot —> when the scabs boutta get they shit rocked

“them? or them.” OSCAR WAVES LMFAOOO

piggyback for les from racer

fight time

-morris has it OUT for racer in the pre-cop half. literally think he gets smacked with the bat TWICE. he’s on the ground, watches splasher get smacked from the ground, and BOLTS UP and races over to him shoving past morris. insane

-jack only swings on the rope to make a clear path for davey and les actually bc that action is the only reason they get to that half of the stage

-finch and romeo teammates for LIFE. they fought like the whole thing together fr. only pair that stuck out to me for the whole length of it (and then of course they watch crutchie get taken from the audience ough)

-nah jack Is a good fighter thru this it’s just the seize the day moment w the delanceys that he’s shit at btw

-davey doesn’t fight literally at all the whole time :/ c’mon. uncanonizing this in my mind

-SPECS KICKS ASS !! he’s got a bat and everything!! fuck yeah!!

shut up jack wipes at his eye during santa fe at “guy can catch a break”

^guy who lets out a sigh of relief when the post card is still in his pocket. fuck off

act twooo

kath goes to racer abt where jack might’ve gone and he’s abt to answer before albert pipes up

race flicking davey’s hat to the side>

^also they keep chatting thru tap sequences i love it

kath holding davey’s hand while they talk in the corner during table movement

crutchie holds his side when he sings…

^the only part crutchie gets teary at is when he starts talking abt the boys/family :,)

“and a little something extra, just on account of im gonna miss you so-” sounds like medda broke off bc her voice got watery 🥲

“every newsie—who could walk—was out there selling papes” OW the rephrasing of that line

as soon as jack turns his backdrop around to show the strike painting davey walks away soooo fast to turn away

WWH reprise is such an argument. “WE’RE ALREADY WINNING!!” yell davey yell!!

^jack makes the most fuming, boiling angry face after “y’know why a snake starts to rattle 😌?”

davey initiates the spit shake when jack offers his hand

kath is Mortified watching snyder expose jack’s refuge history AND SHES SO MAD when pulitzer gets between her and jack omfg

“be glad you’re alive, kid” is spoken and cruel asf but wbk

morris’s laugh kills me everytime it’s so fucked in the head. goddamn

jack doesn’t let davey touch him when he enters the rally like he doesn’t want davey to look like he knew abt the betrayal beforehand….

scope runs RIGHT up to jack after spot pushes him and goes to yell at him LMAO… lucky has to drag her away

“is that really what it’s like in there? rats everywhere, and vermin?” is taken as judgement and not concern and jack fuckin jumps on it LMAO

the actual motion of disgust jack makes at “you just double crossed us to your father- your… father.” dead every time he literally flinches

“i just didn’t tell you everything!!” is said at the opposite side of the stage as jack and looking down and away. idk why she’s the only katherine that has ever played this line as guilty but i’m always so glad for it

“i’m not stupid.” “no-” “i know girls like you… don’t wind up with guys.. like me.” heathers voice: i will never shut up abooout this

jack seems very afraid of the word love?? during kath’s entire piece of STBI he stays away from her… and she def thinks she’s fucked up for a sec fr

wah this song is so tender :( they hold each other very softly

“hey! um… it’s good to have ya back.”

clarice’s spot also has a moment with race beside just letting the kids into the cellar together..<3 ik lillie’s has more tho

there is something so personal abt davey jacobs saying “bleeeed ‘eeeem” while looking dead into jack’s eyes

davey’s reckless hug once jack’s made the deal with pulitzer… every timeeee

FINCH CRUTCHIE HUG!! first to get to him and holds him the longest before race and jack come along :)

“new york’s got us. and we’ a family.” is said as such a statement of fact like crutchie just ends any argument right there. he just knows jack so fucking well.

:)

[neonmetro]

I just want to say I love Project Martyr chat. I fear you cooked

Also, Kesabel has my heart. They are honestly just so adorable !!! LIKE BABY LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG ! Free Kesabel guys, get them out of there with the rest of those freaks /SILLY /J

I think my favorites of Project Martyr really don't add up like, at all 😞 Samyaza, Reficul, and Kesabel are fighting for #1 spot. Moloch and Arakiel are close seconds. . .but they are all so great man. . . I have to make it my goal to draw all of them one day because they had NO reason to serve so hard.

This is really just fangirling(so surprising). I have nothing in particular to ask, BUT

Uly and Project Martyr content is always appreciated. . .hehe

On a good note, I'm going on Thanksgiving break today, so uh, hopefully you get to go on break soon too !!! If you do, enjoy yourself :)

-Ulysses loving anon

PROJECT MARTYR. MORE LIKE. PROJECT MARTYR!!!!!!!!!!

I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM ALL SO MUCH ?!?!?!?!?!?@?@?!(#&* i put a lot of care into (most) of the members so it means a lot... projmar season 2 when? shoutout to ulyanon fangirling. i would owe you my life if you drew all of them.... omg... cries

kesabel is fighting for their life in this god forsaken office/killing game they are never winning. they tried getting along with the others while being held hostage (maybe they were being a little too annoying by preaching outside of the projmar office so aishire kidnapped them) but honestly no one paid them much mind, aside from reficul who was like :( i'll try to make sure it is all painless for you. (proceeds to traumadump and make them commit suicide)

i feel like. aishire might've based everyone off of angels/demons bc of kesabel. he just saw them and thought "i want to ruin their day even more. go my employees, make angel and demon robots because i'm basically like god anyways i'm so awesome"

REFICUL IS MY GOAT. MY MENTALLY INSANE GOAT. (kind of literally tbh they are the literal devil)

for most of projmar i have planned that they're constantly teetering on the edge of just giving up. their stoicism (autism) has made it so everyone expects them to continue being so otherwise they're in the wrong. they're evil. but if they put things into their own hands they're demonized. and they're struggling with their dead spouse's goals not aligning with theirs. to the point where they're pleading to a ghost that they want to stop.

genesis wants project martyr to continue to fester more emotion into the world so people become more violent and feed into the primordial silt so it may one day consume everyone once more and the golden age will come back, while reficul very much wants to end project martyr and stop all the deaths (i don't think it's much of a spoiler to say they fail in this.)

WISH I HAD MORE TO SAY ABOUT SAMYAZA BUT THEIR CHARACTERIZATION HAS ALWAYS BEEN WEIRD FOR MEEE. originally they were a much more. abusive and manipulative character (especially towards azazel) but they've really shifted into being just a deeply lonely person over the years. tbh i'm really glad that happened bc frankly i would not let them serve that hard if they still kept up that behavior

i still am keeping their bond with azazel but instead of a manipulating them into staying with them, samyaza just confided in them a lot after One Smoke Break together and latched on hard, while azazel was there for them... and azazel was a tad uncomfortable with the sheer amount of latching onto that happened, they still listened

samyaza carries Heavy amounts of guilt, from both their family to their desires, they feel like its wrong to be materialistic and giving themselves basic self care because their siblings already sacrificed so much for them (peneume mainly)

MOLOCH AND ARAKIEL. SHAKES THEM. THEY'RE SO FUCKINGGGG. i really like their dynamic they're so fucking goofy. arakiel is taking things so seriously while moloch is like "today i had pancakes for breakfast". it's so funny how arakiel is more of an edgelord than moloch despite moloch's clothing being the embodiment of hot topic ANYHOO only one drawing this time gomenne

honestly i need to compile . all my comics for uly . they're pretty bad and all need their own posts bc this man is a fucking FREAK and i like TORMENTING HIM. anyways have a greatest hits comp of him and diomedes' gay chicken offs

[fumifooms]

Do you know about the Marchil h-doujin, just called "Marchil Meshi"? (Dunno wether you're comfortable about adult content regarding the ship. If not, sorry and feel free to ignore).

Imagine my surprise… When a few months ago, I was looking up places to buy doujins for dunmeshi online bc of that new-ish laimar (sfw) doujin and I find, many many nsfw ones bUT AMONGST THE HORDE… MARCHIL MESHI. I ate it up. It’s a lil iconic to me ngl, I quote it in my head sometimes. Marcille angrily gesturing always gets me cackling. It honestly has no business being this good, it was made pretty early on in the story so many years ago, and STILL! So in character, and honestly so funny, AND no weird business either. Like listen, I scour the internet, looking for any marchil content, any marchil content at all… And find a dry af desert, no life here, literally jackshit nothing. Only Pixiv has some afaik but the nsfw is def… Hm. 😔 (2 fics tagged chirumaru on there btw!! That aren’t mine lol) Thank you marchil meshi author if I had to pick 1 piece of marchil nsfw to exist I’d choose this one (honestly that’s already so close to reality lol) Thank u Asaki Takayuki I owe u my life. I like zines but I’ve never bought doujins before so it didn’t cross my mind, but dunmeshi is taking a lot of my first times in fandom engagement and I bought said laimar doujin just the other day hehe 

I do want to keep my blog generally sfw but yes I’m 100% cheering on nsfw marchil content from the shadows, glad that ao3’s finally getting some too. I hope that fic writer makes more… Tallman Chil is so so good but I hope they also do some more general premises, which the end notes on that one do make me hopeful 👀 I want more marchil writers in general. More marchil fanartists. Sfw nsfw idk I need to be fed 😭 (<- This post was drafted before that new marchil smut fic WOOHOO. So much new marchil content this week!!)

Oh while I’m here, I find this so funny/odd, but in japanese fandom ship names are simply the beginning of each name smushed together, like marchil or chilmar. The order of the names is that the first one is the "top"… Idk how jp fandoms live without switches but aight, but in m/f ships this means that typically the man is the first half of the ship name right. WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT marchil is so much more used than chilmar lmaoo. Even more stats: On Pixiv, the tag marchil had all the artworks, but the chilmar tag had all the fics. Ain’t that wack to think about. Anyways marchil or chilmar idc you go guys

Sighh thinking about them. They are so "I beg your pardon??!" "Then beg", "Fuck you!" "Fuck me yourself you coward"… Forget stamens and pistils, Chil is the cursed "You see, there are keys and there are locks…"

More under cut since I don’t get to talk about this often, screenshots and hcs for horny time

^ said panel that lives rent free in my head and makes me giggle. I wish I’d just put the whole page here it’s my fave but nahh go find it yourself

Why are they like this. Like what is thatttt

I need to stop collecting these I’m making myself feel insane (thank you fic writer for that last one I’d never noticed but omg)

Alright hc time what was I gonna talk about… Ah yes ah yes. I def think Chil is a pest, he’s horny and he wants sex and is flagrant about it, but also we know that he stayed faithful for 4 years without getting any, I feel like realistically the relationship sex wise would 100% be on Marcille’s pace. And this is the fun part, bc would Marcille be very eager? Would she want to do the romance book correct™️ route and that means no tapping until marriage, or he needs to court her all princely first? I hc that elves have a much lower libido than humans because of the whole long af lifespan thing, it’d be kinda funny if Marcille was like "Let’s take things slow… 🥺" aka first base achieved after two years of being together lol

But seee that’s the thing too bc Marcille is so afraid of loss she might rush through things as well, she very well could like, jump on him right after confessing. Is Chilchuck kind of a shithead or is he very gentlemanly and romantic, wanting to do it right and treat her well? They are such a blank canvas of sexual chemistry listen LISTENNN there are just so so many ways you can go with them they are so special. God the banter… They cannot stop bantering for a second I swear So many kinks they could fit… I like uhh praise kink for him and for her… Idk she just really loves him and the emotional adoration is what’s at the core of her enjoying it all so like, loving Chilchuck kink, which turns out those two really match together 🫶 He makes her sing and ummm um you see where this goes. They are so grossly in love and into each other

They are so domestic. I hate them

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hi!!!!! Once again THANK YOU sm for the FOOD like i've reread all ur fics again while waiting for my hair to set hehe it's just. a really great way to pass time and think abt the fluff and the sin <3

AND ummmmmm not to also jump in the bandwagon but. im feeling... 😳😳😳 rn and would like to request for a 5'1 catgirl!reader with gp!Marilyn OR Laurel if that's okay 👉🏻👈🏻

Basically Reader doesn't realize she's going into heat (IT'S HER FIRST TIME & SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS EVEN A POSSIBILITY BUT OHHHH BOY) but Mari/Lau notices and teases her throughout the week with indulging her being more affectionate but then the heat smashes into reader like a freight train and she's left a mewling mess for her Mommy!!!!

like help she's full on NEEDY for Mari/Lau but she's MEAN and teases Reader further and Reader goes "if you don't want me, I guess I'll just to go out and see who wants me! >:(" to trigger Mari/Lau's possessiveness & Mari/Lau rising to the bait BC READER IS HER KITTY & NO ONE ELSE'S LIKE. hhhhh hhHhHhhHh NUH UH, YOU'RE MINE 🔪

AND HELP also Mari/Lau going "Aw, does my dumb little kitty cat need Mommy to breed and fill her up her own kittens? Is that what you want?" while Reader just a drooling mess underneath her IS CURRENTLY LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE AND IM JUST. CLENCHING MY FISTS SO HARD. like PLEASE,,,,,,,,, bestie,,,,,, if ur ok with this req and write it I will literally owe u my life thank u sm 🫂

PS: feel free to go ham with the breeding & dumbification kink bc im literally biting down on one of my stuffed toys rn just thinking abt it and WAHHHH once again, thank you 😳💕

Yesss!!!! Here it is!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! It was so funny to write it!! Thank you for your request!!!! <3 <3

Poor Kitty

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Student, Cat girl! Reader

Warnings: Smut, Intersex Marilyn (She has a dick) several kinks, heat, teasing, blowjob…

Word count: 5,181

Summary: You were a cat girl, and you have many needs, maybe your lover can fulfill your desperate desires…

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!!

“Shit, it's hot,” you whispered.

You were in the library, doing what you had to do, homework, study...

But you were finding it much more complicated than usual. It was supposed to be winter, it was supposed to be cold, but you were sweating while chills of unknown origin ran through your body. It was hard for you to focus, there was too much noise in your head, a noise that didn't come from outside, there was no one in the library, and those strange sounds could only come from inside you, purrs that you were afraid someone besides you would hear.

Purring was something common in you. You were a cat woman, something like a werewolf, but without problems with the full moon and increased aggression. You were simply, according to what your companions said: Just a kitty.

You knew you could be fearsome if you thought about it, that if you transformed you could rival even the fiercest werewolf. You weren't interested. Your only worries were your studies. You were always a very good student and you made your parents proud. You just had to be careful about maybe a ball rolling on the ground or some small animal in the forest did not attract your attention so much as to distract you.

The book in front of you turned into a jumbled, blurry array of letters. You were unable to read it. Nervously, you ran your hand over your trembling leg, and the sensation produced an unexpected reaction.

“Meow,” you meowed unintentionally, putting your hand over your mouth and looking around embarrassedly. There was nobody there, much to your relief.

Normally you were quite capable of controlling those small impulses. You were proud that you weren't a howling, restless mess like your fellow werewolves. That day you felt strange. Simply with your hand touching your body all your senses went crazy. You were always quite sensitive, but never so sensitive as to lose control.

Some footsteps coming from the stairs took you out of your thoughts and the strange nervousness you had was accentuated even more.

Luckily for you, it wasn't one of your classmates from Nevermore, it was one of your teachers, your favorite teacher, Marilyn Thornhill.

The redhead came down the stairs with her usual smile and immediately noticed your presence. You stared back at her, feeling your heart beating faster and the disconcerting heat inside you growing.

The woman tilted her head as she walked over to a secluded bookcase, motioning for you to follow her. You didn't even have time to think about your next move. Dragging the chair with a nasty creaking, you got up and went with her.

You turned the corner and there she was, pretending to look at some old books. You approached cautiously, looking around you. As if on automatic impulse, you wrapped your arms around her waist and rested your head on her back.

The heat you had increased, but at that moment all you thought about was her. Marilyn laughed softly and turned around, taking your hand.

“Hello, honey…” She whispered in your ear. After glancing to either side of her briefly, she leaned her head towards you and placed her lips on yours. A desperate moan came out of your mouth. It wasn't a meow, it was a sound you couldn't remember ever making.

When you arrived at Nevermore, the last thing on your mind was having an affair with one of your teachers. For you, those kinds of relationships were fiction, things that only happened on a tv screen. After whole afternoons in the conservatory and funny talks, that nice teacher-student relationship crossed the line it wasn't supposed to cross.

It was a forbidden, clandestine relationship, based on kisses, hugs and whispered words of love. You were madly in love with Marilyn and she knew it and enjoyed seeing your eyes begging for a kiss, for a caress.

The kiss was not meant to be what it became. Agitated and terribly nervous, you deepened the kiss, causing the redhead to widen her eyes in surprise as your tongue entered her mouth moving mercilessly.

You didn't know why you were doing it. It was just like your instincts were guiding your actions. You were a shy girl and you never asked for more than Marilyn seemed to want to give you, but with each passionate kiss, with each brush of your body against hers, that strange state you were in seemed to subside.

“Honey, honey…” Marilyn said when her back collided with a self. You didn't listen to her, you kept kissing her, caressing her, while your purring became more and more evident. “Honey, what's wrong with you?”

Her hand went to your chest to stop you before you started another round of merciless kissing. Involuntarily, you snorted at the loss contact, causing her gaze to turn curious. With severe difficulty, you managed to relax and shook your head, embarrassed by your enthusiasm. You were not yourself, all the kisses you gave her gave you a strange pleasure and you almost lost control.

“I…I…I'm sorry,” you said, with your cheeks red and your breathing fast and disordered. Marilyn smiled, shaking her head slightly.

“(Y/N), you know we have to be careful…” She told you, caressing your cheek.

Every time her skin brushed against yours, millions of electrical impulses made your pupils dilate and you had to fight the urge to jump at her neck again.

“I know, it's just that…” You said, keeping your composure, putting distance between her and you to avoid the temptation.

“Are you okay? You're sweating,” she told you, looking at you now with some concern.

You shook your head and sighed. Your heart was pounding, your purrs were loud, and the heat you felt was becoming unbearable.

“No… I don't know what's wrong with me. I was calmly studying and suddenly I started to sweat...”

“Do you want to go to the infirmary, honey?” She asked affectionately, putting her hand to your forehead. Her breathing was also fast, you were able to realize that.

“Meow,” you meowed again, covering your mouth immediately after. The brush of her hand against your skin made you lose control. She pulled away and frowned at you, carefully studying your condition. “I'm sorry…”

Marilyn was looking at you curiously. Her eyes changed in an instant, turning slightly dark.

“I think I know what's wrong with you…” She whispered, getting a little closer to you. Her hands went to your waist and her lips kissed yours again.

There were too many sensations to be able to control. You pressed against her as you deepened the kiss, you wanted to feel all of her body, all of her warmth. Little by little the chills increased and an overwhelming heat began to form between your legs. Marilyn pushed you away again, but this time with a petulant gesture.

“What's happening to me? It's a feeling I've never felt before...” You said, ashamed of your erratic and passionate behavior. The redhead smiled mischievously.

“It's pretty obvious,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Obvious?” You asked, starting to get very nervous. Marilyn agreed.

“Of course, just look at you...” She said, amused, pointing at you.

You looked at yourself. You were a sweaty mess purring desperately. You didn't quite understand what she was referring to, and worst of all, you couldn't take your eyes off her dress, where a rather obvious bulge had formed.

“I still... I still don't understand anything...” You said nervously, closing your eyes.

“My love, you are in heat. I've had enough cats to know that.”

You opened your eyes and you were speechless.

Your parents had told you that it could happen, but the years went by and you never had that feeling, so you had completely forgotten about it.

Even as a human girl, your feline counterpart often took over your feelings without the need for you to transform. Apparently, heat was one of those feelings.

“Oh…” You said with flushed cheeks. “I don't know what to say…”

Marilyn approached again, curiously watching the reactions your body had with her caresses. It seemed that the way your hair stood on end and your body trembled desperately was amusing her.

“You don't have to say anything, honey, it's normal, you don't have to be ashamed,” she said to you with a loving voice, a tone of voice that even under normal circumstances made you tremble.

“I feel like I'm going to explode… What can I do to stop feeling like that?” You asked, instantly regretting it. You weren't an idiot, you knew the answer.

“Do I really have to answer?” She said, laughing, with a tender look.

You shook your head and, checking that the library was still empty, you rushed to her lips again, this time with more desperation. You didn't know if it was the right time, but you needed it, you needed something that you hadn't considered in the last few weeks, you needed her.

Marilyn kissed you back, trying to keep you as still as possible. You, with a too indiscreet meow, kissed her neck. The redhead was panting, but she barely moved, letting you do everything you wanted, almost everything. Your hand moved down between her legs, where her arousal throbbed, wanting to come out. Immediately her hand stopped yours, grabbing your wrist.

“What are you doing?” She asked with a sigh. Her breathing was also disordered, and she didn't seem to want to lose control. You barely heard her voice, your head imagined what it would be like to feel her inside you, how pleasant it would be for her to take you, to fill you up...

“I… Well… I…” You stammered. She laughed again, shaking her head.

“Honey, I'm very flattered but…” She said, looking at you determinedly. “I, I don't think it's the best time, nor the best place.”

You meowed again, going crazy to try to silence your own instincts.

“I thought…” You whispered, trying to calm yourself down with all your might.

“You have to be patient, honey,” she told you, pulling you into a warm hug. It would be a loving, romantic gesture, if you didn't feel her arousal digging into your body. Marilyn seemed to notice and she backed away in embarrassment. “Sorry, (Y/N), my body sometimes seems to think for itself. Come, I'll make you an infusion so you can relax, okay?”

You nodded, feeling enormous frustration. Your need didn’t change after that infusion. It would be a terrible week for you.

There was nothing that could ease that tension. Your encounters with Marilyn were still just as pure. Sometimes you thought she was amused by seeing you desperate, seeing how you begged for her to take you. At first you thought it was your imagination, but her kisses and her caresses, her most common gestures of affection were much more intense and she smiled, she always smiled.

You no longer felt ashamed, your need was so great that you asked her directly. Marilyn just laughed, shaking her head, saying that the time would come soon, that you would have to hold on a little longer. Your despair increased every day and your meows and purrs began to affect your academic life, interrupting classes and unleashing teasing from your classmates.

A week had passed and the cold showers and the walks and hunting moments in the woods were no longer useful for anything. You knew what you wanted and the only woman who could give it to you seemed to mock you. You loved Marilyn n and she loved you, you didn't understand why to make you wait amused her, why she enjoyed seeing how your body begged, a docile body, that would let her do what she wanted, you would be a rag doll for her.

“And put that one in that corner,” the redhead told you, while you placed some pots where she was indicating. You always obeyed, hoping that this sudden extreme submission would make her please, make her please you.

“It's already done...” You whispered, controlling your trembling. You couldn't help it, every time you looked at her you had those visions, those uncontrolled desires. It didn't matter how many times you masturbated, that wasn't enough, your body wanted her.

“Great,” Marilyn said, clasping her hands together, satisfied.

You agreed. Your body trembled and sweated, your pupils were dilated. You could barely speak normally, every three words, you would meow. You had to do something.

“Marilyn…” You said in a low voice, without looking at the redhead.

“Mm?” She murmured, cutting a few small leaves from a plant.

“I...I, I can't bear it anymore...” You said, slowly approaching her desk.

“What's wrong, honey? Have I made you work too much?” She asked, completely ignoring the true meaning of your words.

“That's not what I mean…” You whispered, suppressing another meow. “I'm having such a hard time...”

She looked at you and made a fake sad face.

“Oh, my love, come here,” she told you, extending her hand for you to take.

You obeyed her, feeling a rush of warmth as her hand gently gripped yours. Your heartbeat quickened again and your breathing was rapid, sonorous. The purring was not long in coming.

“Sit down,” She ask you, pointing to her lap. You carried out her order immediately. That was even worse, you'd rather she told you not to go back to the conservatory, to break up with you, than to be sitting on her lap, so close to her, your most desperate desire.

“My poor kitty…” She whispered into your ear, grabbing your hips to place you with your legs on either side of hers. “You’re having a hard time”

You nodded, letting yourself go. Little by little, your hips began to sway, rubbing against her body. She did nothing, she just laughed tenderly, seeing how you melted with that little contact. As if evil had taken over her, she emitted a subtle and very erotic moan in your ear, while the touch intensified. Her body was responding quickly and soon you felt her arousal rubbing against your needy center.

That sensation was completely new and dangerously exciting. You moved automatically, seeking as much contact as possible. Marilyn kissed you, caressed you, while she gently followed the rhythm of your hips.

You could feel it, you were so close that you lost control completely, moving desperately and not being able to suppress a considerable amount of meowing.

“Please... Meow... I... Meow... I need... Ple... Meow... Please,” you said almost crying. She looked at you surprised and ran her hand up your legs, under your uniform skirt. Your wetness was overwhelming and she seemed to find that so funny.

“Shhh… Calm down, (Y/N), does this relieve you?” She whispered to you, passing her hand through your folds, over your underwear.

You moaned strangely. No one had ever touched you there. It looked like what you wanted, but it wasn't enough, you knew it, and so did she. You didn't want her to stop. Among more desperate meows, you agreed, while her caresses became slower and slower.

“Very good, honey…” The redhead whispered. “You're a good kitty...”

Saying those words, she pulled her hand away and with a gentle push, she pushed you off of her. You groaned in frustration and tears began to run down your cheeks.

“What?” You asked, your purrs completely drowning out your words. “Why? I, I liked it…” You said desperate, trying to return to her lap. She got up, pointing to the clock on the wall.

“It's time for dinner, (Y/N), I don't want you to be late,” she said as if nothing happened, with that tone and that mocking smile that became too frequent that week.

“Meow…” You meowed, before clearing your throat to be able to speak clearly. “Why are you doing this to me?”

She looked at you surprised.

“Doing what, my love?” She asked with an innocent voice.

“You know it perfectly…Meow,” you stammered. “You do nothing but make fun of me. I just want you to love me, to want me... you know what I'm going through and you know what I need.”

“(Y/N), haven't I relieved you a bit?” She asked mockingly.

You snorted, incredulous and stopped to think. You needed it badly, you needed it desperately like you'd never felt before, and your body was going crazy.

“I'm sick of your games,” you said, hissing, suppressing the trembling of your body. “You know what I tell you? If you don't want me, I'll find someone who does,” you said without looking at her, going to the conservatory door.

Marilyn didn't say anything, but her expression told you that those words made something move inside her.

“What did you just say?” She asked in a dangerous tone, stopping you from leaving  with a strong grip on your wrist.

“You heard me. I'm tired of waiting... I'll look for someone who doesn't laugh at me and gives me what I need,” you said defiantly. Marilyn pulled you hard in front of her. Her look was not that of the tender and sweet botany teacher, her eyes were cold, threatening.

“How dare you talk to me like that, you filthy kitty?” She hissed, grabbing your hair and yanking it hard. “I don't care how desperate you are, you're still mine, you hear me?”

You widened your eyes. That possessive attitude surprised you for a moment, but soon you began to enjoy what you had achieved. It was the button you had to push to get on her nerves, to make her realize you needed her. You meowed with pleasure and your purring was once again present in the conservatory.

“I need you…” You said, faking more pleading than you really wanted to show. Marilyn released you and crossed her arms, shaking her head and softening her expression.

“You need me... Oh, poor silly kitten... You're so desperate...” She said caressing your cheek. “Do you need me so much how to make me angry?”

“Yes…” You sighed, letting yourself melt from her warm touch on your skin. “Please… I want…”

She laughed and returned her mocking and amused expression.

“What do you want, honey? Do you want mommy to take care of you?” She asked ironically.

At that moment, you put your defiant and rebellious attitude aside and nodded profusely without thinking. All your clothes were in the way and your eyes went to her crotch, which was marked in her blue jumpsuit, which seemed to call you by name.

“I want you to…” You said stammering. “I want to be yours, Marilyn… I, I need it. I need you inside of me… Please.”

The redhead laughed with satisfaction, passing one hand over your chest while she with the other she got rid of her underwear.

“How cute you are, (Y/N), you're such a desperate kitty…” She whispered while you only dedicated yourself to feeling her caresses. “Mommy likes to play with the kittens like you… She wants them to pray for her…”

You just nodded automatically, noticing how you had fewer and fewer clothes. You didn't feel capable of saying anything, only of purring, of panting, of feeling how the moment you wanted so much was getting closer little by little. The redhead stepped away a bit and undid the buttons on her blue jumpsuit, letting it fall to the floor and finally freeing her length which looked almost as desperate as you. You drool at the sight before you.

Marilyn ran her hand along the length of her cock, stroking it gently, making her quiver with eagerness. She was enjoying her own caresses, but she obviously had other things on her mind.

“Get on your knees,” she ordered, pointing to the ground. You were surprised, noticing how the despair you felt seemed to have no end. She wasn't going to make it easy for you and you knew that, but seeing her excitement, the desperation with which her cock throbbed in front of you, made your body move by itself, resting your knees on the cold stone floor.

“Mommy… Please….Meow,” you said, meowing again involuntarily. Marilyn laughed at the speed with which you picked up on her game, and she gently cupped your chin.

“I know you're anxious for mommy to give you kittens, to feel how she fills you up, but you've been bad, honey, and now you'll have to please me. Use your sweet mouth, you silly girl... Show me that you need me...”

You nodded and timidly obeyed, running your tongue along her entire length. She moaned as she felt your lips around her and gently swayed her hips. She was big, overwhelming for your mouth, but you still held on and were as skilled as you could be as a total inexperienced in the matter.

“That's it…what a nice kitty…” Marilyn murmured, moving even faster as you struggled to please her. “I love you…”

Those words took you out of the situation a bit. She had told you that she loved you many times, but this didn't seem like the right time to say it. She surely she was having so much pleasure thanks to you that she even seemed to lose her sanity. You stuck out your tongue and moved it quickly, making her moans even louder. You noticed that her body tensed, that her cock trembled in your mouth.

She was close, you could feel it. Your human part considered it normal, something that had to happen and it didn't matter. Your feline part was horrified, terrified to see how something so precious for your needs was going to be wasted. You didn't just need the pure pleasure that sex gave, your instincts and your nature had another purpose.

“I'm close, honey… I, I'm going to cum in your pretty little mouth…” She said between gasps, moving in a disorderly way, almost as if she was fucking your mouth. You opened your eyes and pulled away immediately. You didn't need that, you needed something else, and you had waited long enough. “What the hell are you doing now?”

“Please... Meow...” You said getting up and sitting down at the desk.  “Please, take me.”

Marilyn sighed, clearly frustrated, but she didn't comment, she simply lifted your skirt, exposing your wet center and stroking it roughly with her serious gaze. She would surely be upset that you pulled away from her, but seeing how your arousal shimmered between your legs made her change her mind.

“Oh… My silly and needy kitty, you are so wet for mommy…” She whispered with a childish tone. “She can't wait any longer… she needs mommy to fill her up…”

You nodded as she inserted two fingers into your wet and slippery center. The sensation made you moan very loudly. Marilyn covered your mouth with her hand while her fingers explored your interior.

“Shut up, kitty, you wouldn't want to be found out, would you? Imagine that someone hears your kitten meows in heat and they find you like this, a mess desperate for mommy to give her what she needs... Poor silly kitten...”

You didn't answer, you just moaned and meowed, this time controlling the volume. You weren't even able to think about the consequences of being caught that way, you only thought about the feeling you had in your mouth, about how pleasant it would be to have all of her cock inside you, filling you up.

Soon her fingers came out of you and with her hands, she parted your legs. It would be an image worth seeing. You, some random Nevermore student, spread-eagled on your botany teacher's desk, desperate for her to fuck you.

“Are you ready, my kitty? Are you ready for mommy to give you what you want so badly?” She asked, aligning the tip with your slippery and soaked entrance. You wanted to answer like a normal person would, but your heart was beating so fast and your purrs and meows were so overwhelming that you could only nod. “I've asked you a question, (Y/N)…” She hissed in a darker tone.

“Yes…Yes… Please…” You managed to say.

Marilyn laughed and sighed as she slowly eased into you. She was not soft, nor delicate, but she was slow, painfully slow. You noticed how your body was slowly getting used to the intruder. You remembered what your friends said, that the first time was painful, that it was not pleasant. They were just dirty liars. You never felt something so pleasant, such a warm and pleasant feeling. Your walls stretched little by little, sending a lot of sensations to your whole body.

You smiled, you didn't quite know why, perhaps to finally see your wish fulfilled, to grant your most primal instincts what they so longed for.

“Oh, (Y/N), you're incredible, so wet, so tight... You hug me so well... You're a very good kitty for mommy...” Marilyn told you, while she moved slowly, introducing herself completely. “It hurts? I know I'm big, I don't want my little kitty to get hurt.”

You shook your head, slapping your hand against the table, wishing those slow movements would speed up, that you could feel completely hers.

“It's okay, it's okay, calm down…” She told you, amused, grabbing your ankles and raising them over her shoulders. “You are so impatient… You drive me crazy, (Y/N)…”

You smiled, enjoying that little by little, her rhythm was accelerating, while your body was allowing deeper and faster movements. You could feel her inside you, all of her, you were right where you wanted. You weren't capable of thinking clearly, of seeing the risks that something like this could cause and surely would cause. You were only concerned about satisfying your hunger, feeling each of her small movements.

“My sweet, silly girl…” Marilyn whispered, picking up the pace a bit when your body finally allowed it. “Your body was waiting for me, it adapts so well… Oh, my kitten, we are made for each other… You will have such beautiful kittens…”

You laughed at that statement, reaching out your arm to try to touch your lover. Everything she said sounded heavenly, almost divine. It was what your body wanted to hear, what your instincts wanted. You did not remember such a happy and embarrassing moment. If you happened to see yourself reflected in one of the crystals, you would look away. You were a mewling, drooling mess, completely at the redhead's mercy.

“Marilyn…” You sighed as she took a hand from your legs to take yours. “Please…”

She nodded, it seemed like she could read your mind. After letting your hand go, she jerked you toward her and her movements intensified, now fast, passionate. You moaned, not like a cat, but like the desperate girl you were at that moment.

“That's it, honey…” The redhead whispered, without stopping moving. “Be a good girl, a cute kitty for mommy… You take it so well… I would spend my life inside you, my love.”

You meowed at those words. Your body finally realized her strong thrusts and little by little that unpleasant and at the same time pleasant heat began to overwhelm you again. You were close to your first real orgasm, and you were excited, but desperate at the same time. You wanted to feel it all, you didn't want your own emotions to hide the sensations that Marilyn provoked inside of you. Your hips disobeyed your wishes and began to move restlessly, following the redhead’s rhythm.

“Oh my God,” you were able to say, before your entire body arched and your inner muscles hugged her cock tightly, as if they didn't want her to leave your body. Marilyn stopped for a moment, enjoying your crazy vision, your orgasmic sounds and the tremor of your body.

“Good kitty…” The redhead murmured, holding you so you would stay still. “You've done very well, even though you're a silly and desperate girl, mommy loves you, honey, mommy wants to see those beautiful eyes when you cum...” She said, smiling tenderly, something that didn't match her words at all.

“Please…. I…” You said panting, trying to catch your breath.

“Do you want mommy to fill you up honey? Do you want mommy to give you some precious kittens?” She asked while little by little, she moved again. You nodded, almost with tears in your eyes. Each of her movements were like electric currents running through your body.

“Yeah! Yes please!” You yelled. This time she did nothing to silence you, she simply smiled and closed her eyes, increasing her speed, moving abruptly. Surely you were not aware of what was about to happen, but it was what you wanted, nothing could change your mind, it was the bad thing about having an animal inside you.

“Very good, honey... Mommy is going to cum... She's going to fill you up, my love... I'm going to...” She gasped, grabbing your hips tightly as, with a heart-rending moan, she leaned into you, squeezing her eyes shut.

A sudden warmth appeared in your center. A hot liquid ran through you while you felt how her cock throbbed. At last the moment had arrived. You had no idea that it could be so pleasurable, so much so that you had another small orgasm while her cum filled you completely.

“Damn, (Y/N), you're perfect…” The redhead whispered, still inside of you. “I'm sorry I made fun of you… I didn't know what I was missing.”

You just stared at the ceiling, noticing how a trickle of liquid ran down your leg when she finally pulled away from you. The purring disappeared, the messy meows no longer fighting to get out of your mouth. You felt great relief, your whole body relaxed. You felt weakness, you had no strength. The tension you'd had that last week was finally released, and just the way you wanted it to.

“Sweetie…Honey…” Sweet whispers brought you out of your state of ecstasy. You sat up at the desk and blinked several times, in case your subconscious had played a trick on you and all this was a simple dream.

“Hey? What?” You said, pleased that no cat sounds came out of your mouth.

“My love, it's been wonderful, but we have to put all of this in order…” Marilyn told you, getting dressed again. You nodded, jumping off the desk, still feeling how her cum was inside you. You got dressed, you put on your uniform while you thought when would be the next time that would happen. “You stay there for a moment.”

“I love you,” you said happily, like in a hallucination. Marilyn smiled and sighed, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

“Me too my love. You're mommy's good kitty, don't forget it…” She told you in her ear, giving you a soft kiss on her lips. “We don't get to have dinner anymore, but what do you think if we both take a bath together in my room? I really want to love you again...”

[evansbby]

gang you wanna know what im really thinking about? AU where LITERALLy REINCARNATED POYT!steve is made captain america, smug, self-righteous asshole but everyone praises him. Just like og poyt!steve and maybe a less... maniac homelander? But POyt!steve literally would do the same thing with milk so i donno. Is that a realisation right there? is Homelander like actually POyt!steve? ok anyways. POYT!steve has been having dreams of this 'mystery woman' but it doesn't even feel like it's his life so he sketches but he never get the twinkle in her eye exactly right or the way her hair curls over her cheek. He's been going through the backrooms to run programms to catch her but always to no avail. Vision is suspicious of him. So one day, He's battling some idiot trying to kill him in the city and what does he see? Omega caught in the middle of the battle, terrified and cornered in. What does he do? He says fuck the mission, tony's yelling at him to secure the package. TOny doesn't get it, he's literally doing just that. It's just HIS package. so ofcourse instead of a date, she locked in his safe-apartment. Seduces the fuck out of her. One day Tony and Natasha's finds out his dirty secret and take her away, calling him crazy- but he's not duh. They're just soulmates and he doesn't owe them an explaination. And he shows them jsut how good of a villian he can be until they give her back. Even HYDRA has nothing on him. So what else can they do? they give her back. He's happy, sated and fine, he'll play nice now. But little do they know, he's plotting to come out on top and no one will ever decide to fuck with him again. And ofcourse, he finally brings her out on a date <3 (The President's Dinner)

HELPPP why is this so funny 😂😂😭😭

And it’s crazy bc I’ve been getting a lot of homelander edits on my fyp lately which makes absolutely no sense bc I’ve never watched the boys but I DID get the milk reference bc someone on here told me that homelander is into that and we know poyt!Steve is into that too 😭😭

I also lowkey love the idea of THE poyt!Steve being reincarnated into Captain America bc he would be soooooo smug with his powers 😂😂😭 and he’d be able to exercise his alpha male views very easily bahaha.

But this very much sounds kind of like my fic The Captain’s Reward! Granted, TCR!Steve is a lot more serious of a character but he’s very very evil!

[golbrocklovely]

Have you seen the argument that SnC can't be pulling away from the fans on social media because their 'social media stars' and that their entire job is social media so they are required to give fans tweets and instagram posts etcetc?

My opinion is no they're not social media stars anymore, they are YOUTUBERS, Instagram, twitter, tiktok and snapchat are just extras that these days they could stop if they so wanted. Their job is to create youtube videos, everything else they give us is given to us by their choice, they don't have to do any of that. They could if they wanted just use their social media accounts to promote only their videos and merch and nothing else like a lot of other youtubers do. They CHOOSE not to because in the past they have enjoyed the social side of things, but with their fans being assholes they are allowed to pull away from socials as they are not social media stars, it is not required of their job anymore. They are YOUTUBERS.

What are your thoughts?

it is very funny to hear ppl say this, especially when for years i thought the general consensus was that snc need to take a break and they deserve one. but now… no one wants them to have one. how weird.

first off, the main problem with this argument is that fans expect something for staying so long when we've never been guaranteed anything. i've been here for years, i don't expect snc to do dick all except give me content occasionally that i enjoy and continue to post on xplrclub where i pay to be/get exclusive content. that's all i'm owed. anything else is an added bonus.

fans that think they are owed something just bc they bought the most amount of merch or have been here for years or whatever other reason need a reality check. you are mistaking a past time of yours as a job. you aren't getting paid to be here. you can leave whenever. if you are no longer entertained, go.

snc haven't been consistent posters in years. like, yeah, there was a period of time from like 2015-2017 when snc were constantly posting on insta or twitter or snapchat or youtube. but it has not been like that in a very long time. snc don't have to put in that kind of work bc they have blown up already and now it's quality over quantity.

the problem i have with all of this is that snc have made it abundantly clear why they have started pulling back. EVERYONE IN THIS FANDOM IS AN ASSHOLE. what's not to get??

colby can't read comments anymore and has admitted so, he gets emails and loses followers over him growing facial hair, has been picked apart for years over his choice in gfs, got a terrible death threat a couple years ago that made him basically leave twitter, has gotten constant and dumb hate on there for years, got made fun of for being "fat" when it really him being sick with undiagnosed cancer, literally questioned even telling the fandom he had cancer in the first place bc he knew how they would react if he went bald, plus a mirade of other shit i can't get into. and even sam, the miracle child who rarely has ever had to face consequence for anything he's done or said, is now saying that fans are mean and words can hurt. so you KNOW it has to be bad for him to say something.

and they both said that they put too much of their personal life out there for everyone to see and it wasn't good for them, that they regret doing that.

this fandom thinks it "can say whatever it wants" without snc seeing it. or at the very least, they don't care if snc see. and in what universe would the idol want to stick around when it's fans are shitting on it?? you tell me. they're pulling back bc you all fucking suck. and when they eventually remove themselves entirely bc you want to bitch about their gfs or their face puffing up or whatever random other nonsense you deem worthy of a tweet, i don't want to fucking hear a peep. shut up, for once.

(none of this directed at you anon)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

heyy ari!!

i hope you're having a splendid and enjoyable day today. wanted to ask a very important question‼️

what are your five current favorite songs and/or artists?

very curious to see your favs!!

- 🍒

HI 🍒 ANON !! it’s nice to meet u!! this is a great question…. i’m gonna b honest though when it comes to music i. kinda live under a rock? 😭 i didn’t even start thinking abt my favorite artists until a couple years ago… so that’s. a thing.

i can never keep track of my favorite songs but i do have a couple artists i love that come to mind!! :33 so!! in no particular order……

1/ yorushika

actually i lied yorushika is in fact my number one always and forever if yorushika has a million fans i’m one of them if yorushika has one fan that’s me if yorushika has no fans that means i am no longer on this earth. yorushika is a jpop/jrock band consisting of n-buna (songwriter/musician) and suis (vocalist) and they mean the whole galaxy to me their lyrics are so insanely good i use them for writing inspo all the time and in general they’re just?? so good??? their songs always feel so bittersweet and nostalgic and the instrumentals are soo incredible…. this is my favorite band of all time they fr changed my life i highly recommend checking out any of their songs/albums bc they have literally never missed. I Fucking Love Yorushika.

my favorite songs of theirs are blooming in that summer / hachigatsu, bou, tsukiakari / replicant !! :3 i have a million other favs but i’ll leave it at that..

2/ the front bottoms

i love these guys so bad i do….. i actually know literally nothing abt the band itself but i adore their songs and just. how scratchy and cool the vocalist’s voice is!! idk i’m not good at explaining it i just love their songs sm!! :’3 they have a very specific vibe to them that i can’t pinpoint but it does make me feel like a rabid dog so there’s that <33 if u have any form of daddy issues i’m sure u’ll love them (they’re also EXTREMELY stsg coded hello…)

my favorite songs of theirs are be nice to me / father / funny you should ask !! :3

3/ mitski

we all saw it coming let’s be real i don’t know a single queer jjk fan who doesn’t love mitski we literally owe her everything? jokes aside it actually took me some time to warm up to her songs, at first i only loved her lyrics but eventually i saw The Light. her songs have this specific melancholic vibe that i’ve never found in anything else and i eat it up every single time ….. i adore her instrumentals and her voice and obv her lyrics !! i resonate a lot with them AND i associate them w lots of jjk characters (especially sugu wbk he’s a mitski girlie).. i just really love her !! she’s Mother always and forever :)

my favorite songs of hers are goodbye, my danish sweetheart / a pearl / i’m your man !! :33

4/ ricky montgomery

RICKYYY MY ANGEL ON THIS EARTH i love him so bad. :( he makes me happy. his songs are so comfy so cozy so lovely i just adore them……. they’re very winter-y but also very summer-y i just love them a lot!! and i think his interactions w the jjk/sk8 fandoms are so funny he’s my emotional support artist i think i would probably kill if he asked me to

my favorite songs of his are cabo / california / line without a hook !! :3

5/ beabadobee

what can i even say abt her…. she’s my goddess i think. beabadobee is like mitski in that her songs just have this specific Vibe that nothing else has and it makes me yearn so bad… sooo nostalgic and vibrant i just think she’s so ridiculously good !!! her songs never fail to make me lose it entirely i listen to them often while writing too !!! they’re soooo catchy and wonderful <333

my favorite songs of hers are don’t get the deal / apple cider / cologne !! :3

[thegeminisage]

dead dad episode anon here (what a name), glad to hear you survived!! I barely did I had no warning and I was just genuinely MAD about how much I cried but not because it was saying anything profound it was just like direct emotional manipulation with no catharsis. if I wanted to cry about a dead parent while watching 90s genre tv I would go re-watch btvs The Body.

hi my answer got long you DONT have to read it but god see i TOTALLY GET THAT! and it's so funny bc my friend and i were actually debating whether the "worst" in your ask meant "lowest quality" or "toughest to get through" and your answer was literally both. i am literally so fucking sorry it happened to you like that and you deserve it the least of anyone bc it is HORRIBLE to have to deal w all of that out of nowhere. but you SAVED MY LIFE! if i had randomly had to deal w that after the day i had tuesday (the day we were supposed to have watched it) i COULD NOT HAVE COPED. like, for example, i actually had to quit the tng episode where geordi's mom dies (7.03 interface) like halfway through because it totally blindsided me and i was just so, so, SO angry at it, i felt like it was stringing me/geordi along for nothing - i googled whether or not they found her alive and when i got a "nope" i too noped. absolutely the fuck not. hard pass.

but then i go back and read the transcript, and like...yes, i still think the episode has too much technobabble, and i personally find tng clunky on all but its very best day, and geordi's "goodbye"/catharsis felt extremely rushed/like an afterthought, but we also have this speech from riker:

and i think if i had met that in a better headspace, having been warned about the episode in advance, i would have received it a LOT better, because it speaks (albeit indirectly) to my own personal shit yk. i actually quit before this speech and then watched the rest of the episode on 2x speed to get it over with, and had to stop and play it normally during this moment. it ruined the effect for me and in my mind this episode is still a dud for me, even though with the passage of time i have come to conclude it is not TOTALLY without merit.

so i do totally get why you don't like the visitor, i absolutely respect your experience w it, AND I OWE YOU HUGE ONEEE, but i do have to humbly disagree about the episode. this is mostly to get my own thots out so absolutely zero offense if you wanna stop reading here lol. but like i think it has a slightly different vibe than the body, which involves like, the sheer shock of it happening out of nowhere, and those first few hours of denial and grief just like. trying to comprehend the nature of death and how someone can just be GONE. i don't even really like btvs (i mostly don't like wh*don, it's complicated) and i think it's high art. like, the pinnacle of tv.

but i think the visitor was saying something different. or actually i think it was saying the same thing the pilot did, in a way. this isn't the first few hours after finding joyce dead in the living room, this is weeks and months and years and DECADES later, and jake Still Exists Here. sisko, quite literally, still exists here, has NO CHOICE but to exist in the moment of the accident forever. (for him, this entire episode lasted like ten minutes at MOST - and shoutout to him for being able to roll with the punches and put jake first anyway through all of that - when he gets back to his own time, it's going to feel like a bad trip or a bad dream.) and because sisko literally can't move on, and is stuck to jake, jake ALSO can't move on.

jake had begun to heal - he had a wife and a career and he was thinking about kids - when he accepted that sisko was gone for good. he healed after his mother's death because he was able to accept her death and because he had the support of people like his father. but once he realized his dad's ghost would be showing up every so often, that there was a possibility he WASN'T gone for good, he threw himself at that problem with everything he had...and lost everything he had. wife, career, hope for his future, all of it. the episode was saying something: that if you don't move on you won't move on. if you can't let go then you can't let go. if you don't heal then you won't heal. jake exists HERE and he is pulling his dad, and his grief, forward into the future with him like a LITERAL ball and fucking chain. i mean, he's got the baseball and photograph ON his writing desk. sisko gets only a few minutes of life at a time, and he uses every second of them to be in the moment with jake and ask about his life and comfort him. jake gets DECADES and he lets them pass him by without so much as "popping his head up," and misses his OWN LIFE, because he is burning his years like pocket money hoping to use them to buy back SISKO'S life.

i do have slightly mixed feelings on the ending - does jake committing suicide to get his father back nail the point home, that it'll kill you if you let it, or does his starting to work on his stories again before he died tell us that he figured out the secret was to live life while you had it, if even for just a few minutes? is "cutting the cord" jake throwing away the last thing he has into the insatiable black hole of his grief, or is it him letting go and/or doing something selfless? maybe both, which is nuanced, but it also muddies the waters/message a little. like, i def can't think of a cleaner solution to set the situation back to status quo - i just wish we'd had time for a slightly cleaner ending, and/or one more scene after the end, where we acknowledge that sisko is now stuck with knowledge of something jake will never have*. bc there IS catharsis when sisko gets back to jake (wish fulfillment? in fiction, unlike reality, you someday get to be done having a dead dad if you do enough aging and grieving and growing) but!! it only lasts for .5 seconds :/

*also, he watched his child die. i can't get into interst*llar too much on here cuz thats bad for me (dead parent people dont watch it Ever) but the bit about "no parent should have to watch their child die" acting as justification for cooper leaving murph AGAIN when the whole film all she asked of him was to STAY was flimsy there, and a miss for me, and definitely lacked catharsis. but this episode is better than interstellar bc even though it's true that no parent should have to watch their child die sisko DID stay and did it anyway even though it was awful to have to do. separated by time and space they DID find each other again...we just didn't to enjoy that reunion, really.

anyway, i do think this was You Exist Here, Dead Parent Version but i do fully completely 110% understand that if this episode had blindsided me i would think it was garbage and would want to kill the people who wrote it with a fucking hammer. so i actually enjoyed this episode because of you, specifically. a perhaps unwilling (at the very least unknowing) gift from you to me. thank you <3

[the5n00k]

CHOOSE VIOLENCE ASKS: 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 22, 23, 25

I am so sorry for so many feel free to skip as many as you want lol

DAYUM OKAY (readmore bc this is long af and I don't wanna clog timelines)

4: it takes a lot for me to block you and usually I won't do it at all in most cases but some people are in my replies on Twitter a little Too Much saying some weird ass stuff occasionally I'll just say fuck it bye bye and block em

6: the most annoying ship fans are the ones that harass other people because they ship something different/not at all case closed (this even goes for proshitters, just block them and move on, harassment is never okay)

7: this happens. Far more often than I'd like to admit. And sometimes it changes depending on who I've been talking to. And I don't necessarily hate this character but most recently it's Andrea? She's got a great arc set up and I don't mind seeing her on screen at all, she's fun but whenever some people bring her up it's just. I know they're about to say some dumb shit. Doesn't help with how weird Twitter is about the girls

8:

🗣️📣 THAT MOLLY IS A BAD FRIEND BECAUSE SHE FELL IN PUPPY LOVE WITH A GHOST HUNTER‼️‼️‼️

HOLY SHIT WAS THAT AN EXHAUSTING WEEK AFTER I WANNA DANCE WITH SOME-OLLIE.

ALSO everyone seems to think enemies to lovers is a tried and true ship dynamic when SOMETIMES IT JUST DOESN'T WORK‼️ REALLY FUNNY COMING FROM A SCRINX FAN BUT C'MON SOME OF THEM ARE JUST PLAIN TOXIC! EVEN THE CANON ONES

10: how starved people are for emotional content that they'll write characters completely ooc to make a dramatic and dark plot. I'm sorry but there's a balance to this shit you can't just kill off a character or take every good thing away and have it be narratively satisfying. Again, rich coming from me but most of my shit has a point

13: Tord from Eddsworld. What the fuck even happened to that poor character

14: I don't read a lot of fics so I can't really answer this one but can I complain about my own fics and say "really fking cheesy emotional speech between the mcs"

15: this isn't even fandom specific but when people overuse the chromatic aberration and don't mark it as eyestrain like OW WHY I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE IMAGE‼️‼️‼️

16: I don't understand how people are so attracted to the dark and brooding types like. I've literally never been attracted to a character like that

They're cool??? But I don't see the appeal? Romantically at least. Give me my goofy asses and my Absolutely Deranged men pls

18: for TGAMM, they been sleeping on my mans Darryl (gonna pretend like I haven't as well)

And the episode Lock, Stock, and Peril literally one of my favorites from s1 please

22: I barely see Anyone else drawing scratch being a fucked up creature PLEASE I CAN'T KEEP SUSTAINING MYSELF LIKE THIS‼️

23: gonna be honest I was a Mollie hater and Ollie hater in general before season 2 aired (victim of leaks 💔) but one of my friends gaslit me until I started shipping it ironically to make the fandom mad and now I would die for them

25: that some episodes of TGAMM are boring because they're not plot relevant or they're too predictable. My friends in Christ you are watching the 2021-2023 equivalent of a slapstick cartoon with slide whistles and crash cymbals, the point isn't to subvert expectations all the time, it's to have a silly fun episode sometimes with comedy first and foremost please the show is literally a slice of life comedy

I think that's everything hope I answered the right ones my attention span is completely SHOT today whoops

[prettyboykatsuki]

yanno it's not like i came into the yan gojo fic expecting him to immediately come out the gate batshit, but you were definitely right about part 2 being where the foot hits the gas pedal.

the most fucked up part about gojo's madness is just how regular he is. there's no frills and whistles, and he doesn't examine himself deeply, but in a way he doesn't need to because being in his head, gojo is all too aware about his darker inclinations. his detachment to horror because horror is the mundane of his life.

and just how easy it was to pluck that one strand of normalcy away. if gojo's mind was a house, his bullshit was the beating heart under the floorboards slowly driving him mad.

it's so funny because my threshold for "Balls to the wall batshit" is skewed. The murder was regular. i expected it.

gojo casually mentioning that he stands outside the door to watch reader sleep, dick in hand, caught me so off guard my jaw dropped. like, why am i gasping, i knew that.

i love the consistent theming around dogs and ownership and like. it's not about reader. it's literally gojo. the desperation. the pathetic, delusional, and justification for his obsession

him knowingly, pausing to think how there was no way back for him after killing that man, mirroring the way he crawls into bed with reader to violate them it's like. he knows and yet he accept it readily because it is owed to him. shaking my head at this man.

anyway, all that to say, you worked very hard and it really shows, the fruits of your labor was nauseating, dreadful and bleak. it was a terrible look inside yan gojo's head and it was delightful!

beloved i need you to know i got this ask and stared at it for HOURS just like. REEELING about how happy it was making me like. genuinely seriously from the bottom of my heart could NOT get over what it was Making Me Feel at the time. THANK YOU FOR READING AND THANK YOU FOR THIS THOUGHTFUL ASK.

I AM SOOO GLAD THAT CAME THROUGH!! about how gojo kind of. works as a character. the murder felt very tame right!! it almost felt natural and i was hoping that it would. it's a progression that, all in all and given gojos penchants for being strong makes sense. and for a yandere fic nothing unusual.

"his detachment to horror because horror is a mundane part of life" EXACTLY. LIKE YOU GET IT !!! i think the worst part of gojos entire thing is that he's not particularly delusional in a way someone like getou or izuku would be. gojo knows, in some way even if its distantly, that the things he's doing are considered morally wrong

and if he were any more normal or had been through any less - he might have enough of a compass to understand!!!!! but he's knows and just doesn't particularly care or mind bc why should he? i like how everyone was thrown off by his peeping bc yeah yeah exactly. absolutely nutcase and wacko that guy is. he is SICK!!!

im so so so glad u enjoyed it and so so so glad it invoked the right feelings of disgust. like truly the highest honor

[viiridiangreen]

 went to the movies with my partner & my not-technically-in-laws 2day it was nice :-)

We picked the Artsy Movie Theatre which Q and love & used to visit alllll the time as dumb teenagers bc the architecture is swag and the street food outside is yolo & they’d have free jazz shows every?? Thursday I think?? And it’s cheaper than the mall. And they show indie and artsy films and do retrospectives and free outdoor screenings where u sit on the grass & enjoy the fresh air and pretend like your joints can still handle it.

It’s a really cool bit of town which we hadn’t returned to in like three whole years because of both ‘rona and living on the boondocks (so that going downtown can amount to 1/5th of what I make in a month on a bad day).

There is ALWAYS someone from our facebook contacts or from the high school we didn’t go to but orbited around there. It’s one of Thee Hangout Spots for alt / artsy types and though there are around 20 million people in this city + satellites of it, that particular social circle has Hellish Small Town energy. Pueblo chico infierno grande etc etc. Q spotted someone from said highschool who used to be on an “““enemy team”““ but she didn’t notice us.

We picked a random movie on the basis that it starred Tim Roth and the screening time was near enough and it was just........................ SUCH BULLSHIT lol. We spent the whole drive back laughing about it bc it’s literally just Tim sat on a plastic chair slowly draining a bucket of beers while the life drains out of him and he fails to react to any of the events around him. Just the drollest possible shit. And it was extra funny bc it happens in Acapulco and so featured Choice Mexican Stereotypes. At least someone smashed a beer bottle on his head. But that was still like 1/1000th of the catharsis I feel I was owed for sitting thru it. DO NOT watch Sundown (2021). Or do, just to laugh at the Literally Fuckall the protagonist does. We were joking that like,, the crew literally just went on vacation, filmed the guy idly sipping on his beer for a couple weeks, then went back and made up a script on the fly lol. Oh and they expect you to empathise with the british millionaire who is SO SAD while portraying mexicans in a rly stigmatising way it’s. Pretty silly.

It’s extra extra funny bc it encapsulates the Phenomenon associated with that particular movie theatre too. It’s a toss-up bc 50% of the time you get served some precious perfect hidden indie gem which you wouldn’t be able to stream OR illegally download anywhere, just magical, beautiful stuff. The other 50% of the time you get garbage. Nearly nothing in-between.

We were talking about the coin toss before going in and as soon as the credits rolled we were like......... WELL... guess it’s one of THOSE times lmao

[izel-01]

Still haven’t been able to find a job, been applying and even reapplying hoping someone would contact me but nothing and I cant stand the idea of calling and getting rejected

So obviously I had to cancel some luxuries that I’ve once had and one of those being Spotify premium, I had the family plan, but with the price change and having no income I can’t have that luxury rn

So I canceled and my younger sister is acting like it’s the end of the world like? I already explained to her that it’s not a necessity sure it’s really nice to have it but if I can’t afford it I have to cancel it and when she woke up to the subscription being canceled she was not happy

She offered to pay, I kept declining bc I don’t think it’s fair that she would pay for something that I originally was paying for and last payment I asked our “ mother “ for to lend me some money ( I’m keeping track how much I owe her it’s not much but still I hate feeling like I owe people money )

Anyways our mother said we’ll talk later about it, my sister and her did talk about it without me ( which idc ) but they kept making “jokes” saying shit like “too bad for those without Spotify premium having to listen to ads” and honestly it was annoying but I ignored them not giving them the time of day

But it hurts cause like I know I can’t afford these luxuries but at least I have a roof over my head and a comfy bed to sleep but it was nice and I miss it but it’s not a necessity and I have having to depend on her for money even though I try not to ask for anything especially since she has to save money for that stupid parasite she’s gonna have but that’s for another day

It just sucks bc I’m the eldest I’m supposed to be the example but I can’t even get a fucking job - I refuse to go back to food service it is not worth my mental health and the pay was not enough - the second oldest doesn’t want a job which imo is fine bc she literally raised the youngest 3 but she doesn’t want to cook, do chores, or learn to drive. And it fucking pisses me off sometimes bc at least she has a purpose living here unlike me

I’m in the way and I know it even if this stupid bitches say I’m not I know I am bc my sister, my best friend, says to “just move out already” , “it’s not that hard”, “nobody wants you here”, etc and ofc it hurts cause the one person who has been through everything with me, who made me suffer (not her fault when we were little but now she should know better), the one who I consider my best friend/my other half is saying this stuff to me in my face

It usually happens when she gets really irritated or when she just snaps at me for any reason which happens almost everyday and I know I may be a bit too much (tough playing with the little ones or “butting” in stuff) but it’s how I show my appreciation and love and concern but she says it’s not my “business” or sum other shit calling me names

One time a while ago around Dec 2021 I’m pretty sure after we had another argument she said something along the lines of “if I was tired then I would not get up cause nobody expects anything from you” and that really hurt I don’t remember the context of what was said I just wrote it down in my notes just her saying that

What do I say to that? How do I move on from that? I obviously didn’t forget but I’ve not forgiven her either. I cook for her I clean after her I try to help her in any way I can I defended and still do to this day from our “mother”- I remember once around middle/high school when our mother was yelling and was about to hit her and I stood out in between them saying she’ll never hit her again and this bitch (the mother) laughed and called me a hypocrite I’ll never forget that and to this day she says she doesn’t remember funny how the most terrible moments of my life she claims of having no memory of and ok my brain is shit cause I physically can’t remember shit at all but I remember that clearly tears in my eyes, scared to death of standing up to her, scared of her but I knew I had to protect my little sister

Anyways it just sucks that I already know I’m a miserable example of the eldest child, but for them to keep reminding me like i don’t know already doesn’t make it better and I can’t tell my supposed best friend bc she is part of the reason why I’m slowly losing my will to do anything and I’m pushing myself everyday trying to cook more help with chores even more to show that I do appreciate them letting me stay here bc according to my mum I’m “ no longer her obligation”

Like I stopped being her child once I turned 15… but she would never dream of doing this to the younger 4 but it’s fine bc at least they have a fighting chance in this cruel world I really want the best for them bc they didn’t asked to be here but it must be nice to not have to suffer what I did

Me and the second oldest like to joke saying we were the free trial and the youngest three have it easy, and jokes aside they do. Like in that show “Good Place” when the main character said sum about her mum sum along the lines of “ if she could’ve been a better mum for ____ then that means she could always change but I wasn’t enough for her to change” and that fucking hit me like a train… cause she did change not for her, not for us, but for them her 3 precious angels (about to be 4) and that “loving husband” of hers, don’t get me wrong that’s a good thing but it hurts seeing them be treated how I deserved to be treated to get that “family” I will always yearn for, it’s still not good tho but hey it’s wayyyy better than my childhood at least I hope it is bc then it would all have been for nothing

[rrxnjun]

I HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE THE BUS AGAIN CUZ THIS JUST SOUNDS SO ANNOYINNNGGG

I LOVED EVERY SECONF OF THE YANGYANG FIC BOTH CUZ OF THE STORY AND THE SONG CHOICES!!!! awsten being a guitar teacher is just such a weird thing imo like i would've never imagined that about him ngl :o but now i see the fic in a new light might reread it once more later in the week🫢

I LOVE LOVEJOY SOOMUCH AND ITS SO RARE TO FIND SOMEONE WHO ALSO DOES!!!! (THAT IS ONE OF MY FAV PARTS FROM THE FIC!!! LIKE THE LOVEJOY LYRICS TOOK ME BY SURPRISE) perfume is one of their best songs istg!! i'm so glad tommy convinced them to release it!!! i was(and still am) such a diehard mc youtuber fan;-; wilbur and tommys vlogs are just so funny!! i'm glad they led u to lovejoy cuz their music is truly amaziiinnggggg;-;

aespa are so amazing i'm so excited about their upcoming album all of the songs sound like such a bop!! U SOULD CHECK OUT BEABADOBEE I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER MUSIC SINCE SUMMER SHE IS SO GOOD!!! I RECOMMEND HER VERY MUCH!!! AND I HOPE U WILL ENJOY HER MUSIC AS WELL

HIHIHI OFC I LOVE 5SOS🫢🥰 tbh when i realized how many of the same artists we both listen to i was like this person was meant for me💆‍♀️i love ur music taste so much!!!! and i will check out wallows cuz i listened to a couple of their songs before that were popular but i never really checked them out so thank u💞💖💓 (i'm an avid listener for both chase atlantic and the driver era as well🫡) wahhh i will check out baekhyun too i always see his name but i never listened to him!!! (and the way u wrote that made me laugh so hard, i hope u will win against haechan some day don't give up the fight🤞)

i'm so scared to recommend cuz they might not be ur taste in music😟buuttt some of my fav songs atm: kár by elefánt, macskák by elefánt, bálnák by dzsúdló, sprint by dzsúdló, na mindegy by carson coma, porszem my carson coma (and tbh i recommend anything by carson coma i feel like they would fit ur music taste the best if u happened to like any of these)

i may happened to be from hungary yesss🫣so hi neighbor🥳🙋‍♀️

(IM SORRY FOR WRITING THIS MUCH I KNOW U PROBABLY DONT MIND BIT I STILL FEEL THE NEED TO SAY SORRY - liebestraum anon💕)

I PROMISED TO MYSELF TO NEVER FEEL PRESSURED TO DO SO EVER AGAIN HAHAHA.

AAAAH thank u sm for saying that!!! awsten being a guitar teacher is a weird concept i agree but it strangely fits?? also i remember him saying he used to teach 5sos songs which made my heart so happy AHAHA anyways perfume is literally the best song ever and lovejoy slap idc what anyone says. tommy deserves the whole world for convincing them to keep the song i owe him my life AHAHA you being a mcyt fan is so valid of you. i had my mc phase when i was younger (mainly bc i have an older brother so we played together) so i was big on my slovak/czech mc youtubers back in the day HAHA but nowadays i dont watch many youtubers tbh,,, i WAS a big sidemen girlie tho DJFKLA i still watch their vids sometimes. also the uk commentery scene back in the day had such a chokehold on me that i still follow will, alex and memelous on instagram lmaoo

DID U SEE THE CLIPS FROM AESPAS CONCERT ningnings solo killed me. i love that girl w my whole heart and thIS ?? if they dont add the solos to the album im gonna riot

i havent had time to check up beabadobee but i promise to do so soon and then give u a report!! if u have any favorite songs from her pls send them my way!!

GIRL WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER our music taste matches so well what the fuck this never happened to me before AAA YOU EVEN LIKE THE DRIVER ERA????????? ross lynch was my first ever celebrity crush and im afraid to admit that he has the same hold on me now that im almost 20 than he had back when i was 9. i dont know ALL wallows songs btw im more of a casual fan but the ones i know are so good omg. also baekhyun!!! my kr&b king!! pls listen to his music he is such a good vocalist AAA (i dont think im winning against hyuck any time soon tho >:()

also im now listening to the songs you recommended so let me give you a live reaction. kár sounds very very vibey omg i love it actually ???? went straight to my playlist i love the synth?? macskák has very edgy depressed vibe i love it too omg?????? in my playlist you go. bálnák sounds like a nct dream b-side but in hungarian i stan. very very vibey. sprint has a very good beat!! its enjoyable to listen to but not really my vibe tbh. na mindegy is sO FUCKING GOOD WHAT ?? you were right this is truly my vibe i added this to my playlist too omg. porszem towards the end when it gets louder?? slaps. my favorites were definitely the first two and then na mindegy !!!!!

hello neighbor hhhh im slovak <33 (if you didnt know already bc i slap it to everyones face LMAO)

dont apologize for writing so much i really enjoyed talking abt music w you!!!!!! <33