#it’s so annoying too because i don’t even like the process of having dental work done. i mean does anyone. it’s HORRIBLE

[fingertipsmp3]

Genuinely can’t figure out if I have a dentist kink or if I’ve just had a crush on like every dentist I’ve had in my life

[yanderemommabean]

The Small Blurb I Mentioned

(Hey! So I got some positive feedback and got the confidence to post this little short! If you like it please tell me! Radio silence is often disheartening >~< anyway I hope you enjoy!)

Her soft lips press against mine as the morning creeps in through the curtains, rising us both from the warm embrace of slumber. I look at her with my sleep-addled eyes, and even when under that haze, my breath hitches, and I am left in awe. Hair mussed, face scrunched as the sun beams strike her, covers tossed and crumpled, and she still has the allure and beauty of when I first met her.

If not even more so.

“Figured a good morning kiss would help you” She giggled, her breath ghosting over my lips, tempting me to lean in and steal another. My own mouth upturns into a grin as we stretch and lie on one another, legs wrapped around and our hands intertwined.

“Well, I’d like another test on your theory…Can’t just go on one example now can we?”

She gives me an arched brow, hardly holding back a chuckle “That a cheap tactic to get another kiss? We’ve had about three now”

“Hmm, who says three is enough?” I ask while sitting up, adjusting my hold to her waist as she groans in protest, hiding her face in my chest from the ever creeping in morning. “If I had it my way, I’d kiss you every second of every day”.

“While I share the same sentiment, that doesn’t mean you can be late for work, now does it?”.

I sigh, nodding my head as I lean against her forehead. “Sadly, you’re correct. Odd, that’s never happened before”.

She gives a fake scoff, and playfully shoves me “If anything, I’m more in the correct. Need I remind you of-”

“Ah ah” I interrupt, kissing her again “We don’t mention that. Not unless you like how I try to shush you with my ever increasing need for your mouth on mine”.

“Were you always such a romantic sap?”

“Only for you, really. A lovesick idiot mostly.”

She rolls her eyes and flops back to her side of the bed, covering back up as she yawns. “Go to work, you know you can't keep stalling”

I open my mouth to retort, because technically I COULD, she just wouldn’t let me. She tosses a pillow at me before I can do so, and I swallow my pride. She’s right, though I wish I didn’t have to leave at all.

If being in love annoys my fellow man, then I hope I'm the most obnoxious being they have the displeasure of knowing. I hope my ever loving gaze at my beloved eats at them and brings their blood to an incessant boil. I hope they see my love notes and clench their teeth so hard they chip, and have to have the cheapest dental work done.

If being in love is torturous to them, to even be around, I hope they suffer. For, in my eyes, they’re too bitter to ever be in such a wondrous thing. To truly be in love, is to know all flaws and wrenches in your plan can still lead you down a path paved with gold and blooming roses.

Roses they don’t deserve to cherish and smell, especially if they never helped cultivate and nurture the plant, to watch it grow in a painstaking but beautiful process. Those little mutts couldn’t appreciate the pricks of the thorns that help you grow, nor the petals and nectar that soothe the sting when you’ve been cut too deep.

I’m so happy that my beloved is my rose. That she saw a little dud like me, and decided that I too, was worthy of blooming and blossoming beside her.

(-Mommabean, I hope you enjoyed! )

[sharkface-daydreams]

actually I do wanna talk about fantasy au stuff a little bit more bc i’ve got things more solidified as a process of building stuff

everybody sits somewhere on a ‘capacity for casting magic’ spectrum. this isn’t really affected by race. some people have 0. some people have so so much and can do incredible things if they apply themselves to the learning.

there’s also intrinsic magic which is more like. an allotment? sort of an RNG grab bag sort of thing. most people have 1 allotment which is either present from birth or becomes apparent later. some people have none at all which is rare (but can also mean they just can’t tell what it is. sometimes u have to have a more learned mage do an appraisal.) rarely do people have 2+. but this is all random. can’t be inherited, etc. every unique being ends up with an allotment. because it’s fun

magic is sort of treated as a science and while anyone can go to the colleges to learn, if you don’t have the capacity for casting techniques obviously you cannot do this. but there are things in the world with magical properties that can be studied without needing to do applied magic. physical magics include alchemy, certain types of divination, and applied geologics.

the main thing about this au though is it’s a fruit salad. if it’s fun, it goes in. but i do like to have a little bit of structure to make it easier to jump back in after working on other stuff for a while.

Fun allotment examples:

Simmons has the ability to summon and control fire but he’s still deathly afraid of it and is a huge stickler for fire safety. No one else is allowed in the kitchen while he’s cooking unless it’s Sarge or Mike to the rescue with a bucket of water while he’s panicking.

Grif has ‘stone-sense’, and can immediately identify all types of stone and other mineral formations. like bones! he tries not to think too hard about how he can tell other peoples’ dental and bone health at a glance. Definitely does not tell people about this because then everyone will bother him all the time and he’s not interested in becoming a dentist.

Connie can bubble sound for keeping or releasing at her discretion. It has to be something she can hear, but she can absolutely keep it in a bottle to send like an audio message, or to save and replay when it’s useful to distract someone or use as evidence or blackmail. Or to annoy her siblings with/prove her rightness in arguments. these things are also important

Michael J. “Mike” Caboose can talk to all kinds of animals. They don’t always have a lot to say, but he just likes to be able to make all kinds of friends. Bugs are a little annoying though because flies can’t control their flight paths and don’t care to and he is very annoyed about them bumping into his face and arms. If he appears to be yelling at nothing, it is probably the bugs.

Leonard Church Jr. can leave behind a brief illusion of himself to fool other people and often uses this to slip out from under his bodyguard’s thumb and have like five minutes to himself for once in his goddamn life. Royal guard captain Butch Flowers is sharp as a tack but not even he can tell the difference between Leonard’s surly illusion pouting by his window and the actual one shimmying down the vines below it.

[adenei]

Finding My Way To You - Ch. 13

AO3 || FFN 

The Road Home

The next day found Ron and Hermione on an adventure with the Grangers. Ron wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting of the day, but it certainly wasn’t anything he could have imagined. They’d packed a lunch, and taken a drive along the Great Ocean Road, making a pit stop in the Great Otway National Park for their picnic, enjoying the scenic nature that southern Australia had to offer. He was incredibly surprised that Hermione had suggested trying the Otway Fly Treetop Walk, given her fear of heights. She gripped his hand tightly for the majority of it as her parents congratulated Ron for helping her overcome one of her fears.

Ron and Hermione had agreed not to bring up anything about the Grangers’ future plans until the end of the day so as not to ruin the mood if things went awry. It was a good thing, too, as it was quite the drive when all was said and done. As they were driving back to Melbourne, Ron was thinking a lot about his future.

That morning he’d taken care to fill out his paperwork that Kingsley had sent, committing his availability for anytime after 20 June. Hermione had agreed on the date, and checked over his paperwork before sealing it up to send out before meeting her parents. They’d also touched base with Graham, letting him know they’d have a firm date for portkey travel within a day or two. Ron was relieved when Graham told them they were more than welcome to stay in the flat until they left. He knew the Grangers would have no doubt welcomed them into their home, but he found he quite liked the time alone he shared with Hermione.

As they were arriving back to the city, Ron felt Hermione’s hand rest on top of his as she gave it a squeeze. He could tell she looked nervous. In all honesty, he was too. They’d only been in Australia for a week, and she was already wanting to discuss returning home. Who knew how her parents would react? He hoped things would go smoothly. Ron was pulled out of his thoughts as Mr. Granger slowed down before turning into a public parking lot.

“Right on time,” Mr. Granger said as he parked the car. 

“Our dinner reservations are at this lovely restaurant just down the street. I think you’ll both really enjoy it,” Mrs. Granger added.

A short while later they were settled at their table. Hermione waited to say anything until after their orders were placed. Ron heard her clear her throat and knew that she was about to broach the subject. “So, Ron found out some big news yesterday,” she said nervously.

“Oh? What’s that?” Mr. Granger asked as Mrs. Granger looked on, giving him her full attention.

Ron gave Hermione a look out of the corner of his eye. This was definitely how he thought this was going to happen, and honestly, he was a bit annoyed that she’d pinned this on him. “Er, I received a letter from Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was in the Order with us, and is now the acting Minister of Magic.” He looked up to see them nodding in understanding. “Anyways, I’ve been invited to join the Auror training program.”

“Wow, that’s wonderful, Ron! Congratulations!” Mrs. Granger said as Mr. Granger nodded. They both seemed sincere.

“Ron’s been hoping for this since fifth year. It really is a great honor!” Hermione gushed. “They’re even shortening the training program to a year, and if he passes the academy he’ll be a junior Auror around this time next year!”

“It certainly does seem like an honorable career,” Mr. Granger said, “though I’m a bit surprised after everything you’ve been through that you’d want to go back into the field.”

Ron didn’t blame him for his hesitation. Hell, he and Hermione had even sort of discussed that last night, which resulted in him promising to be careful and that he’d always come home to her. “Well, yeah, but the work’s not over yet. There are stil de- er, bad guys out there, and I want to help catch them and bring them to justice. Even after they’re all accounted for, I still want to help make our world safer for everyone.”

He watched as Mr. Granger nodded at his words. It looked like he approved of Ron’s answer. “So when does all this start?” he asked.

“Well, I’ll, er, have to go back to England by the end of next week to be ready for a screening test with the Ministry. It needs to be done by the end of the month as training starts in July.” Ron explained.

“He had to follow through with this offer. It’s completely unheard of, but the force was significantly depleted because of the war, and they’re looking for trustworthy individuals. If Ron doesn’t seize this opportunity, then he’d have to apply and join with the following year of recruits and fulfill the three year training process,” Hermione explained.

Ron looked at Hermione. Now he knew exactly what she was doing. She was using his return as the scapegoat to bring up the conversation, and if things went sour, she could blame his need to return. He felt his ears grow hot at the realization. He knew better than to bring it up here, but that didn’t take away his displeasure.

“So you’re not going back to Hogwarts next year?” Mrs. Granger asked him.

“No. Even if I didn’t have this opportunity, I don’t think I could,” Ron admitted in a slightly hollow voice. 

“What about you, Hermione. Will you go back, then?” Her mother asked, picking up on Ron’s reluctance to talk about it and not pushing him further. He was thankful for that.

“Yes. We talked about that last night. My education is important to me, and I’d like to finish my final year now that it will be safe to return. I’m sure it will be challenging, but we’ll find a way to make it work.” Hermione offered an encouraging smile in Ron’s direction.

“So, that means you’ll need to be returning home to England soon,” Mr. Granger observed.

“Yes,” Hermione answered quickly. He was thankful she finally seemed to be taking over, as he was worried he’d be put in the middle of a conversation that was truly meant for them. “And I- well, I’m intending on returning with Ron when he goes back next week.”

Hermione’s mother gave her a sad smile. “We wouldn’t expect any less of you, dear. We figured you’d want to go back together.”

“H-have you thought anymore about whether you’ll return to England?” Hermione chanced. 

Ron watched as her parents shared a look with each other. “We have, actually,” her father said.

“As much as we love Australia, we do want to return to England. We’ll still need some time to get everything in order here, but we anticipate we’ll be able to move home in August,” Mrs. Granger added.

Ron watched as Hermione’s relief washed over her. She was instantly more relaxed, and he knew the toughest part of the conversation was over. At least that’s what he hoped.

“Hermione, I do need to ask,” her father said, “What exactly are we coming back to?” 

Ron looked at Hermione, who seemed thrown off by her father’s question. Mr. Granger must have sensed the same as he elaborated a bit more. “What of our practice? Is the house still in our possession? Sweetheart, I know you were trying to protect us, but please tell me you made arrangements for our lives back home.” 

Ron watched as Hermione took a sip of her water before answering. He remembered asking her the same questions last summer, and the only straight answer she’d given him was about the house. Seeing that she was freezing up, he attempted to jump in and rescue her.

“I think there are protective charms in place so it didn’t look completely vacant this year, so you’ll have your home to return to. Right, Hermione?” Ron looked at her and waited for her to nod before going on. “I’ll talk to my dad and brother about checking the house and completing a sweep to make sure it’s safe for you to return.”

“Why wouldn’t it be safe for us to return,” Mrs. Granger asked. 

Ron was trying to avoid mentioning things like Death Eaters and magic in public, just in case there were nosy people around, but it looked like his efforts weren’t understood. “Er, we need to be careful. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went looking for Hermione, or even you both. They probably left traces behind that we need to check for.”

He looked across the table to see Mr. Granger nod with a look of understanding on his face as he leaned over and whispered something in his wife’s ear. “We’ll write to you straight away once things are safe to return. If anything’s damaged, I’ll make sure it gets fixed up as well,” Ron added.

“Well, that’s very nice of you, Ron,” Mrs. Granger said sweetly. She turned to her daughter. “Hermione, what happened to our practice, dear?”

Hermione hesitated for a moment, no doubt thinking about what to say,  “I- you were to tell them you were going on sabbatical for one year to study the dental hygiene habits of various cultures around the world,” Hermione managed to say.

Her parents both thought over her answer. “That’s actually quite a brilliant idea you thought of,” her father told her.

“Yes, but now you’re going to return with no new knowledge!” Hermione sounded upset. “I- I really didn’t think it’d ever be safe for you to return, or that- that I’d be here right now.” She was trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Honey, it’s okay,” her mother said as she reached over to take her hand in reassurance. “We’ll find a way to sort this out. There’s no need to be worried or be upset.”

“Yes, if our practice is still running and we’ll have jobs to return, then you clearly did enough to ease our return,” Mr. Granger said.

 “Y-yes. They permitted you to take the year, but that was in early July so you’ll need to call them and give them an update I’m sure-”

“Well, that won’t be a problem at all. We’ll call first thing on Monday. It’ll be nice to chat with Wendy and see what’s been happening. There’s no need to worry about anything, Hermione” Mrs. Granger said happily.

“But what will happen when you come back with no research?” Hermione asked nervously.

Ron watched her parents work through that problem. “That shouldn’t be too much of an issue, actually. We aren’t working for a family practice here like we have back in England. There were openings with an emergency dental facility here, and we took up residence there. You’d be surprised how many tourists come in with cracked teeth and other mouth injuries! We’ve seen many patients from all over the world,” Mr. Granger explained.

Mrs. Granger let out a chuckle and added, “It’s almost as if you imparted some of that knowledge on what to pursue in us. I actually began taking notes on what we were seeing a few weeks after being hired, and in our downtime I’ve been researching what could have influenced the injury. It’s been quite fascinating to study.”

Ron leaned over and whispered in Hermione’s ear, “See how brilliant you are? You even managed to guide them with what to do here.”

Hermione finally allowed herself to smile as their meals arrived. Ron listened as her parents began detailing all of the barmy situations they’d witnessed as they tucked into their dinner. Things seemed like they were going to work out easier than Ron had anticipated. 

~o~

When Mr. Granger pulled up to their flat to drop them off, Ron was surprised when Hermione invited her parents inside for tea. They’d accepted, but promised they wouldn’t stay for more than a cup, as everyone was knackered from the day’s. As they let themselves into the apartment, Hermione put the water on as they sat at the table. 

Thankfully, things were picked up so he wasn’t embarrassed by clothes or other belongings lying about, but there was still parchment scattered across the table. Ron took it upon himself to stack the parchment and get it out of the way, when Mrs. Granger stopped him.

“What’s all that paper for?” she asked.

“Just for writing letters. We only sent my application back today along with a letter I wrote thanking Kingsley, but I’ll need to write Harry and my Mum to let them know when we’ll be home. Sorry for the mess,” Ron muttered.

“Oh! Do you think I could borrow one sheet? I’d love to write to your parents and thank them for everything they’ve done for Hermione. They’ve truly been so kind over the last few years,” Mrs. Granger gushed.

“Er, sure,” Ron said as he handed her one of the sheets. “I can send it out tomorrow morning with the others.”

Mrs. Granger smiled sweetly at Ron as she pulled out a pen and began writing. After Hermione passed out the mugs with the tea, she sat down in the vacant seat. They settled into easy conversation as Mr. Granger discussed all the things he missed about England and how he was excited to get back. 

“We should be able to partake in some of the later summer festivals,” he commented. “Hermione, you should take Ron to Chessington. He’d love it!” 

“What’s Chessington?” Ron asked.

“It has nothing to do with chess, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s a theme park with rides and activities.”

“Rides?” Ron asked, clearly confused.

“Think of it like riding a broom, but instead you’re in a compartment of sorts and they run on electricity,” Hermione said with a laugh.

Ron wasn’t sure what to think about it, but he supposed he’d be interested in trying it.

“You’ll love it, I’m sure,” Mrs. Granger said as she folded her letter and addressed it to Mrs. Weasley. She handed the letter to Ron and looked at her daughter. “Will you be coming home to stay with us once we’re settled, dear? We wouldn’t want you to be an imposition at the Weasley’s once we’re home.”

“Oh, I- I don’t know. I guess that would make sense,” Hermione admitted. “Especially if you’re in training,” Hermione said with a shrug.

“Ron, you’ll be welcome to visit and stay any time as well. I think it’s about time we returned the favor after all those summers, don’t you think?” Mrs. Granger said.

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks,” Ron said with a smile, even though his heart was sinking.

He should have seen this coming. Of course they were worried about Hermione’s parents wanting to come home, but they’d been so focused on that, that neither had thought about the repercussions of their living situation. Well, at least he had until August before he had to think about it.

“Well, I think we should get going,” Mrs. Granger said. “We’re scheduled for a shift, but we’ll be in touch after.”

“Thank you for everything today,” Ron said.

“Yes, it was lovely!” Hermione agreed as the bid goodbye to her parents. 

Once Hermione shut the door, Ron returned to the table to begin writing to Harry as she cleaned up. “I’m going to tell Harry we’re requesting a portkey for Wednesday if that’s alright,” Ron said to Hermione.

“Sure, as long as Graham can arrange that. It’ll give us another few days with my parents, at least,” Hermione agreed.

Ron didn’t answer her as he went back to his letter. He really didn’t want to pick a row, but he was still annoyed over dinner. Ron realized that he’d been gripping the quill a bit too hard when he saw his knuckles were white. He was glad he didn’t press down too hard and cause himself to poke through the parchment. Signing his letter to Harry, he set the quill down and folded it before moving on to a quick letter to his parents. 

He was vaguely aware that Hermione had moved into the bedroom as he finished his writing. Ron set the three letters in a stack on the table before pushing the chair in and checking the lock on the door. When he entered the bedroom, he walked over to grab a fresh set of clothes. 

“I’m going to have a shower,” he told Hermione, who had already gotten into bed and was looking at him with hopeful eyes.

He tried to ignore the fall of her face as he walked into the bathroom. Maybe she doesn’t realize what she did earlier, Ron thought, giving her the benefit of the doubt as he turned on the water. The hot spray of water felt good on his skin as he let the water wash over him. His thoughts continued to wander back to dinner, and how Hermione brought up the Aurors first, trying to weigh both sides of what could have possessed her to start with his job offer.

  The door opened, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Ron?” he heard Hermione call his name. “Did I do something wrong?” she asked. “You’ve been quiet since dinner. Should I not have invited my parents in for tea?” 

Ron could imagine the frown that was on her face as he shut the water off. He reached around the curtain for his towel before answering. The curtain remained closed. 

“No, it wasn’t tea,” he told her as he dried himself off.

“Then what is it?” she asked.

“Why did you bring up the Aurors with your parents?” he asked her as he wrapped the towel around himself and pulled the curtain back.

“I- I wanted to tell them. I thought we agreed to tell them. It’s such an honor, I thought you’d want to share the news and celebrate,” she said, a look of confusion on her face.

“Sure, but the way it sounded was that you were using it as a lead in for discussing our return to England and asking them about their plans,” Ron told her.

She furrowed her brow as she looked at him. “I didn’t-”

“Save it, Hermione. Luckily it went over alright and everything worked out, but if it hadn’t, I would have been the bad guy because I need to return to England for an appointment.”

Hermione was shaking her head. “I- I didn’t think about it that way, honest. I just thought it would be the easiest way to start the conversation.”

“So you did deliberately start it that way,” Ron said. Ron wanted to move around her, or at least get dressed, but she was blocking the door of the small bathroom.

“I-”

“Next time you’re planning that, maybe tell me first next time. I know you’re trying to rebuild your relationship with your parents, but as your boyfriend, I also have a relationship to maintain with them, too, and I don’t appreciate what you did.”

 “I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about that,” she apologized to him.

Ron took a deep breath, “Well, remember we’re a pair now, yeah?”

“I know. I guess I’m just not used to it yet…” she said quietly as she looked up at him through her lashes.

As if a switch was flipped, the animosity he’d been feeling all evening had suddenly vanished. There was no way he could stay mad at her, especially when she was standing there in one of his tees, and looking at him with those sad eyes. It was as if his mind and his body had suddenly remembered that it’d been all day since he’d held her and kissed her. 

He was overcome with need as he reached out and pulled her close to him, his lips crashing into hers. Her hands were cold against his body, but he didn’t care, as his own reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. They made their way clumsily to the bed, shedding her clothes and his towel, before picking up where they left off that morning.

A short time later, they were cuddling in bed, both thoroughly satisfied now that the misunderstanding had been cleared up. “How do you feel about me moving back in with my parents in August?” Hermione asked.

“Not great,” Ron answered honestly, “but I get it.”

“I feel like I’ll need to, but it’ll be rather odd after being away for so long,” she thought out loud.

“What if you split your time? And I could split mine? So we could at least see each other as much as possible,” Ron offered. He had no idea what his training schedule would look like, but he wanted to make it clear that she would still be a priority for him.

“That could work...but do you think they’d actually let us sleep in the same bed?” Hermione mentioned.

“Well, I think maybe Mum’ll come around when we’re back, and your parents are already aware that we’re sharing a bed here, so…”

“That’s true,” Hermione agreed. “And we are adults, technically..”

“Exactly. Who knows, maybe Harry is planning on fixing up Grimmauld Place after all, and if I move in with him, we wouldn’t have to worry about Mum.”

“Do you think he’s going to?”

“He’s mentioned it a couple times. I don’t think he wants to be an imposition to Mum anymore either, even though he’s not,” Ron told her.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind that plan if he does,” Hermione said as she leaned up to kiss him. “Things have a funny way of working themselves out, so maybe we shouldn’t worry so much about it.”

Ron laughed. Truer words had certainly never been spoken. Ron held her close as he let the exhaustion from the day wash over and lull him to sleep. He felt more confident and secure in their relationship with every passing day. Even though there were so many unknowns of what the future would hold, especially with the coming year, Ron knew that somehow they’d make it through. There was one thing he knew for sure: no matter what life would throw at him, he’d be able to overcome anything as long as he had her by his side.

[drawbauchery]

Two Of A Kind

(fic by cartoons-tothemoon)

Rico was, in many ways, comparable to a feral cat. He came and went as he pleased, he always came back with some sort of new scratch or bruise with no explanation, and he gave off the energy of some sort of dangerous, feral…Thing, despite being almost passive outside of combat situations.

However, similar to a feral cat, despite the threat of pain or personal injury, you couldn’t help wanting to pet it, or keep it around. Rico was scrappy, and to a lot of people, that was charming.

That was how Kowalski rationalized it anyhow.

Of course, nobody could guess that he’d be currently hooked up with the prince of a sovereign nature, but at this point, it was one of those things that might as well happen. If Skipper was allowed to have his weird homoerotic waltz with his frenemy and Private was allowed to clandestinely pine over Skipper the way he did, why not?

Of course, Kowalski wasn’t precisely sure what he was allowed. He was a man of science, of course, but was he not too flesh and blood, like his compatriots? His last relationship with Doris, “The Dolphin” as she was often called, had soured in a manner that he was still at least a little sore over, but surely enough time had passed for him to move past all this…Right?

It had been a slow day in the lab. Skipper told him that if anything else spontaneously combusted this week that he’d lose his microwave privileges, (which, on one hand, was fair, but on the other hand, was just sort of humiliating) so all he could do was sketch out vague models and schematics until night fell, which gave him some time to think about stuff he usually didn’t.

For instance, all of the…Whatever was going on as of late.

He knows it wasn’t always like this, but something had changed, and he had no idea what caused Skipper and Private to go from close friends to close friends with issues, or what caused his perception of Rico to shift from highly unstable maniac to highly unstable maniac with a heart of gold.

However, just as he thought he was making a connection between the several, loud, pounding knocks struck against the door to his lab, which practically caused him to jump out of his skin.

“I AM NEEDING OF YOUR HELP.”

“The door’s unlocked.” Kowalski called, yet still rising to his feet to open the door himself.

“THERE’S NO TIME, I NEED-“ the door opened, revealing Julien, who stopped yelling. “I need a doctor. You’re like a doctor, right?” Julien asked, looking a little more frantic than usual, his hair spiking up in stress.

“I….Guess?” Kowalski himself questioned. “I certainly have the most first aid training.” He turned back to the lab to grab his first aid kit. He hoped he’d have everything he’d need considering how often he had to use this thing as of late.

“Good enough.” Julien said, soothing his nerves by playing with his ponytail. As soon as Kowalski returned, he grabbed his arm in his, and began walking Kowalski down the hall. “It’s Rico.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Kowalski sighed.

“Really? That’s all you have to say? Are you sure you’re a doctor? Because your bedside manner is terrible.”

“I never claimed to be a doctor. What’s up with him?”

Julien froze, and turned to Kowalski, while smiling a sheepish smile. “You’re not going to tell the boss man about this, right?”

“No? Probably not?”

Julien continued his brisk pace at that.

“Good, because that guy just hates fun! I haven’t so much has ever seen him crack a smile! He’s such a bring-down. Anyhow, I mentioned to Rico a few days ago that I’d love to go dancing sometime, so we went out tonight,”

“It’s only 6…”

 “SO WE WENT OUT TONIGHT, and let me tell you it was banging!” Julien said, but his face seemed to fall as he approached his room, and held Kowalski’s arm tighter.

“Nobody there recognized me, but…A lot of people…Still wanted something from me…And…” Julien stopped walking entirely. They were just outside his door.

“I never felt so scared. Death didn’t even scare me, but this? This was…”

Kowalski was simultaneously terrified and calm. He never had to do this kind of comforting before, bringing someone down from a panic attack. “Deep breaths,” he said. “Deep breaths. You don’t have to say anymore.” He placed the hand that Julien claimed on the small of his back, as that was all the position would allow, and saw as he instantly relaxed.

“Rico took care of them. And then we came home.” Julien said, with a level of severity and seriousness never seen on the man. Julien opened the door to reveal Rico sitting on Julien’s bed, covered in various bruises and scratches and blood. Far too many to go unnoticed.

“Fists can only do so much against glass and knives and guns.” Julien murmured, he looked rather guilty at the thought that this was all his fault. A feeling Kowalski wasn’t even aware the foolish prince knew. A feeling welled up inside of Kowalski as he wished to hold and comfort the man he saw before him at this unexpected reveal of depth. He always thought of Julien as far too annoying and horny to deal with, but…Maybe he did contain some level of multitude within him. Maybe there was something more there to see. This fascinated him.

Of course, this reverie would not last long.

“Are you trying to sew your wounds closed with dental floss?”

“It’s, uh, c-c-cleaner than the th-thread I k-keep in my p-pocket.” Rico shrugged, then winced.

Kowalski sighed, and made his way towards the bed. He popped open the first aid kit, and delicately took the arm Rico was hastily trying to stitch up on his own. The wound looked rather deep, like if the knife had been at a different angle, he’d be in a rather different place right now. However, he was here.

“Your stitches are so sloppy…”

“Y-Yeah, well, y-you try sewing in a t-taxi cab s-sometime.”

“I’m probably going to have to pull them out. You’re rather lucky that your other injuries aren’t very serious.” Kowalski looked up, seeing Julien nibbling his lip in the corner, looking almost as bad as Rico, emotionally.  

“Julien?” He perked his head up at the sound of his own name. “Could you get me an ice pack if you would? He’ll need it for his black eye.” Julien nodded, walking out of the room at a relatively fast speed, leaving the two alone.

“I’ll probably sew the new stitches in first, then we can loosen your floss stitches so we don’t have to worry about the wound being reopened…” Kowalski muttered, not to anybody in particular, but Rico was there for it.

“Ar-are you going to t-tell Skipper?”

“Julien already asked.”

“And?”

“I don’t see why I would.” Kowalski shrugged, taking out some anti-septic wipes to dress his other wounds. “You were just doing your job.”

“W-What?”

“Julien told me. You defended him against some guys in a club? It seemed rather…Chivalrous of you.” Kowalski choked.

“Ch-Chivalrous, huh?”

“Don’t get any ideas.” Kowalski said, trying to stop something before it started. “I just wish you two were more careful.”

“Awww, y-you c-care about us.” Rico smirked, leaning in for effect. Kowalski could feel the room getting rather hot, and not just because he wore a sweater all the time. Kowalski decided to take the bait this one time, just to throw him off his game.

“Yeah, I do. I care about all of you, a lot. It’s just that the others aren’t actively throwing themselves into danger at a moment’s notice. The others aren’t trying to steal aspirin trucks or get on Skipper’s bad side. You are.”

Kowalski took the moment to straighten his posture on the bed, and tug on a bandage for harder than he necessarily needed to do.

“You don’t value your own life enough for you to be doing all you do. Is it too much to ask for a little self preservation from you?”

Rico was speechless. It was…All rather strange, to have to listen to Kowalski talk like this. They weren’t what you would call the most open with their feelings, and considering the face Kowalski made before he launched into this tirade, he was just doing this to throw off his flirting. However, it worked, he sounded genuinely worried, and it legitimately made Rico feel…Bad. He felt bad for making Kowalski feel bad, because Kowalski was always…There. Not like, on his side all the time, but there. He was present. Comforting isn’t how he would describe his presence, but he found comfort within it. If he wasn’t there, things would just feel off and bad. Rico couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how Kowalski thought of things.

“S-sorry.”

Kowalski sighed. He sounded tired. Julien knocked quietly on the door as he rushed to hand Kowalski the freezing cold ice pack for Rico’s shiner. He thanked him kindly, and with that, he was finally able to move on to the process of actually stitching up Rico’s wound, as all other trivialities that drew Kowalski’s eyes were addressed. It was a rather calming process actually, as Julien sat beside Rico as Kowalski did his work, quietly watching.

When he finished his labor, he received a fist-bump from Rico, and a hug from Julien.

“I thank you a million times over!”

Kowalski hesitantly patted Julien’s back. “Yes, yes. Of course. Just remember that I’ll need to remove the stitches in the next two weeks and-“

Julien sobbed a little into his chest, and Kowalski leaned more into the hug as he held him tight and let go soon afterwards.

“Hey, everything’s going to be alright. You can remove most of the bandages in two hours, and if Skipper asks, Rico got in a fight with the feral cats in the alley again.”

“Those g-guys are j-jerks.” Rico muttered, and that was when he realized how long he was holding his boyfriend, while he was crying about his boyfriend.

“You’re two of a kind.” Kowalski smiled, which made Julien smile as he turned back to his boyfriend to make fun of his little pout. Kowalski’s smile grew somber, as for a moment, he realized that he’d thought that…Maybe, he was allowed “this,” whatever “this” may be, but the last thing he’d want to do is spoil their fun, and that was the last thing he was considered.

He packed up his first aid kit again as Julien peppered Rico’s face with kisses, and made his way for the door.

“Hey ‘walski. D-Don’t burn that m-midnight oil, huh?” Rico remarked, winking. Julien stopped his onslaught of affection to catch Kowalski running out of the room, cheeks burning, and his boyfriend’s own smug, slightly soft reaction.

“So, what did you guys talk about while I was gone?”

“K-Kowalski said that he l-loved us.” Rico replied, batting his eyelashes and leaning in close to Julien before he got hit in the face with a pillow, knocking him to the floor.”

“He did not!” Julien laughed.

“He d-did!”

“Not!”

“Did!”

“Not! I don’t believe it!” He smiled, not in a cruel way, but something that said that he was also a little soft for the strangely uptight man.

“Hmmm.” Rico hummed, quizzically. “I g-guess you’ll h-have to wait and s-see.”

“And I guess you will too.”

(This was supposed to be your typical fanfic set-up of one character patching the other’s wounds, all the while scolding the other for their wrecklessness. I’m a sucker for that. I would’ve done it as Skipper/Private if I could figure out who was going to be who, but this was also a lot of fun!! I can’t believe I haven’t written for these guys yet. I hope you enjoy!)

[shewas-agaystripper]

The Clinic: Chapter 18/Epilogue

The Clinic: Part Eighteen/Epilogue

Brian is sent off to Queen Mary’s Psychiatric Hospital to cure his depression and borderline. His roommates, John in particular, help him push through this difficult time in his life

Alleluia guys, this is it - the epilogue of The Clinic, and with that, the end of this story! I want to thank you all so much for sticking with me through the year (yes, it's really been about a year!) that it's taken me to write this story, and I'm so grateful for all your comments, kudos, efforts, encouragements, your honesty, love, and enthusiasm during this process. I appreciate you all so much and I could not have done this without your support. I started writing this to come to terms with my own diagnosis of depression and BPD and to hope to understand myself and people around me better, and it's been such a tumultuous road, but it's been worth it. I think this is a story I've written that will stay with me for a long time, as will all the kindness you as readers have shown to me as both a writer and a person.

Enough of that now - I hope you will enjoy the last chapter/epilogue/whatever you want to call this final chapter, and I'm hoping to see you all back at my new projects - which, in time, will include a sort of spin-off of The Clinic Universe!

Just one more thing - I was listening to some devotional music the other day (I don't do this too much usually, but I've got a soft spot for the music of the Taizé Youth Monastery music, the place I've visited twice now and hope to visit many times again) when one particular song stood out to me in relation to The Clinic, and Brian's and John's relationship in specific - with how they love each other for what they are and how they strengthen each other. I just wanted to share these particular lines from the song Take Me As I Am with you:

Take, oh take me as I am Summon out what I shall be Set your peace upon my heart and live in me

Thanks for everything guys, I love you all!

xxx Silke Maria

P.s. Normally I’d link all the previous chapters here, but as SOMEONE @staff) deleted my whole entire blog, they’re now gone. If you haven’t read the previous chapters yet, or would like to reread them first, here is the whole thing on my AO3 account!

Have fun reading, and any sort of feedback or suggestions is appreciated!

‘You’ve got your guitar, Deaky?’

‘I put it in the back of the car,’ John answered the man who appeared in the door opening, demonstrating this fact by tapping the trunk of the green-bluish Fiat 124 he was leaning against. John had been out in the November morning for a bit now to put his bass and his coat in the car and wait on Brian, who had mainly been engaged with comforting his mother that they’d drive safely and that they would not forget to bring a bottle of water and matters similar to these. Having a doting mother hovering over you was not something John was used to for most of his life, but he had gotten used to it as a fact of life - one he did not mind at all, really - as soon as he’d moved in with Brian’s family after leaving Queen Mary’s Psychiatric Institution.

Brian stepped out of the doorway and walked towards him. ‘Great. I’ll put the lady in there also.’

John fished the keys out of the pocket of his trousers and opened the trunk of the car for his partner. ‘Still can’t believe you’re actually calling her that.’

‘And that’s you talking! You just referred to Red Special as a ‘her’ yourself!’ Brian reminded him while gently laying down his most prized possession. Or alternatively, as he once said in a half-giggly, half-sappy mood, his most prized possession directly after John - which had earned him a snort and a peck on the cheek.

‘That’s just you rubbing off on me,’ John defended himself.

Brian reached out both arms to close the trunk again, but even before it came down with an audible slam!, John could already see the grin tugging at his lips. Turning towards John again with wiggling eyebrows, he said: ‘Me rubbing off on you, huh?’

‘Please.’ John rolled his eyes, and then hit Brian with the most powerful threat he had come to learn while living with him and his family. ‘I’m telling your mum.’

Brian grimaced - even though he knew John was just joking, the mere idea of his boyfriend letting his parents in on their dirty talk, be it serious or completely ridiculous, was not a pretty prospect in his mind. ‘Sure. I love having mum wash my mouth out with soap like she did when I was ten.’

Being particularly in the mood for good-natured teasing that morning, John answered: ‘I mean, given that that’s the only dental hygiene you get these days-’

‘Deaky!’ Brian interrupted him indignantly, but John could see the smile shining through. ‘That was once, and only because I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.’

‘I know, love,’ John soothed, and, after having had a quick look around the otherwise empty street, he leant in to give Brian a kiss on the lips, both as to prove that he trusted Brian to have brushed his teeth that morning, and to test if he actually had. ‘Fresh like peppermint. Just as I like it.’

‘Hm-hm,’ Brian hummed in confirmation. ‘I didn’t feel like brushing my teeth, so like ate a roll of mints.’

‘You’re the worst,’ John told him.

‘Why? Because I didn’t leave any mints for you?’

John snorted. ‘Just get in the car.’

‘Fair,’ Brian laughed. He took the keys that John reached out to him and walked to the right side of the car. John walked the other way, but just as the soft click of the doors opening prompted them both to get inside, they were distracted by a woman’s voice calling to them.

‘Boys! Boys, you didn’t take your lunch out of the fridge!’ Brian turned around to see his mother, dressed in her ankle-length morning gown and with her perm rollers still in her hair, marching through the door and making her way towards the car. Her cheeks were flushed with hurry, and to make matters worse, as she paddled closer to them, he noticed a pair of pink bunny slippers on her feet, and he could hardly oppress a groan of embarrassment. He had finally gotten over the initial embarrassment of having John see his mum in her morning attire during these past months, but that did not mean he was ready for the Wilson family from down the street to see his mother in this state of undress.

‘Mum, you’re out here in your morning gown!’ Brian loudly stated the obvious. ‘And what lunch do you mean?’

‘The lunch I packed for you both!’ his mother said, half out of breath by the time she stood in front of her son, and reached two tinfoil wrapped packages towards him. Brian smiled, but did not take the little bundles from her.

‘Thanks, mum, but we won’t be needing lunch. We’ll only be gone for an hour.’

‘Nonsense,’ his mother countered. ‘Visiting hour is an hour on its own, but it’s a forty-five-minute drive, both to and back. And then the searching! I remember having to wait for almost half an hour to be searched because there was only one guard available for the work. And when they got to me, they nearly stripped me to my bra and panties!’

The mental image this description left behind in Brian’s brain was even worse than the current sight of his mother in her dressing gown, perm rollers, and bunny slippers, and he found himself sighing. ‘Thanks mum, now I won’t be needing lunch anymore for sure.’ He heard John emit a strangely adorable giggle, but his mum was not so impressed with his comment.

‘Darling, don’t be stubborn… You’ll regret not having anything to eat if you get hungry on the way back,’ she told him. Then, when Brian remained unmoving both mentally and physically while she stretched the packages towards him, she decided she might have better luck with her son-in-law.

‘John, you take it with you, dear,’ she ordered as she made her way around the car to the place where John had been waiting to get into the passenger seat. ‘Better safe than sorry.’

‘Of course,’ John agreed, finally relieving Ruth of the bundles of food she had prepared for them. ‘Thanks, Mum,’ he said with a smile that earned him an approving pat on the shoulder.

‘You’ve got everything, then? Some water? Your driver’s license and your ID cards? They ask for those upon entering Queen Mary’s.’

‘Yes, we have those,’ Brian answered.

‘And your coats? It can be cold in there!’

‘They’re in the trunk,’ John answered Ruth when he could tell by the slightly annoyed look on Brian’s face that he was not in the mood to be cross-examined about his preparations for their tour by his mother.

‘Great. All ready to go then,’ Ruth gave her blessing and took a step back, which was the unspoken signal for John and Brian to get into the car. Especially Brian wasted no time in doing so, tearing open the door, stepping in somewhat clumsily due to the modestly sized car not being an entirely perfect match for his height, and closing it behind him as soon as possible. He had been the one to say all morning that he did not want to be late under any circumstances, and this uncalculated meddling of his mother right before they were going to leave did not entirely fit into his planning.

John, on the other hand, remained unstressed despite it all. He knew they had plenty of time left - it was hardly half-past nine, and with the journey only taking an estimated forty-five minutes, there was no way they would be late just because Ruth asked them a handful of questions. He therefore opened the door, seated himself on the passenger seat, and secured his belt without any traces of hurry, and when Ruth gestured to him to scroll down the window, he did not hesitate to do so and listen to what more she had to say.

‘Well, you boys have fun. What time are you going to be back?’

‘We’re not sure,’ Brian answered, pressing the car key into the lock. ‘Visiting hour is from eleven to twelve this week, but we might go to the flat afterwards to get some work done. See if we can install those curtain rods.’

‘So you might not be home this afternoon?’ his mum asked.

‘Possibly not.’

Ruth thought for a second, and then said in full determination: ‘You’ll need more food, then.’

John huffed out a laugh at this typically maternal instinct of his mother-in-law, but Brian could not see any humour in it.

‘Mum…’ he groaned, but his mother was not taking no for an answer.

‘Yes, you do. You can’t survive on a few sandwiches all day.’

‘Mum, don’t- we’re going to be late!’ he shouted when she resolutely turned around and half-walked, half-ran towards the front door again. He heard the door being slammed shut behind her, as a wordless confirmation that she was not listening to his complaints, and he covered his face with his hands. ‘Unbelievable.’

‘She means well,’ John smiled.

‘I know. I know she does, but- I just want to go,’ Brian admitted. ‘I can’t wait to go and finally see Freddie and Roger again.’

‘I know. But we’re early anyway. And they won’t let the patients into the visiting room before it’s eleven o’clock anyway,’ John reminded him. Brian nodded slowly in agreement, or at least in understanding of what John told him.

‘It feels weird to know that they’re still patients at that place,’ Brian said.

‘Sometimes it feels unreal to even think that we were there with them for half a year. It already seems to far away,’ John said.

‘I know. But that’s a good sign. It means we’re moving on.’

John turned to look at Brian, whose face was finally graced by a smile by now. John wasn’t sure if Brian was leaning forwards to him or if that was just wishful thinking, but when he brought in his face he was given a kiss on the lips all the same.

With their hands resting on top of each other next to the gear shift, they waited for Ruth to come out again. It took a few minutes, and John could tell Brian was not happy about it, but he did not say anything about it - not even when his mum returned with two Tupperware boxes full of extra sandwiches, leftovers from the cake she’d made the day prior, and handfuls of red grapes. John opened the door to take it all in, as it was a bit awkward receiving the whole load through the car window - and when he had picked up the boxes and safely put them on the back seat behind him, a dark grey coat was stuffed into his hands.

‘This belongs to someone who assured me he’d taken his coat with him, but one glance at the coat rack told me otherwise,’ Ruth said with a stern glance aimed at her son.

‘I did take my coat! The blue one,’ Brian defended himself.

‘That’s a summer coat!’ Ruth brought in. ‘It’s November!’

‘It’s not cold yet! And if I wear a winter coat already, I’ll be cold by the time January rolls around,’ Brian argued. Unfortunately, this did not succeed in getting his mother off his back.

‘That means you don’t have a proper winter coat, then. We’ll buy you a new one next weekend.’ Then, while Brian sighed in the driver’s seat and turned the key to start the car, she turned to John. ‘What about you, dear? Do you have a proper winter coat or is it the same story as Brian’s?’

‘Er, I’m sure mine’s fine, mum. But I’ll try it out one of these days,’ John promised.

‘Very good. Well, have fun you two!’ said Ruth, who seemed to understand that Brian was going to drive the car out of the driveway regardless of whether or not she was still talking to him or his partner. She took a step back, which allowed John to close the door of the car, be it with a bit more force behind it than he had intended to do.

‘Careful, love. Don’t want to lose a door before we even hit the road,’ Brian commented lightly as he looked left, right, and then entered into the street. Despite his previous irritation, he could bring himself to wave at his mother good-naturedly, an example followed by John.

‘Sshh! Don’t talk about her like that,’ John tutted, rubbing his hand comfortingly over the dashboard of the Fiat. Ever since they had picked up the car from a local dealer who’d wanted to get rid of the 1961 occasion that he said only took up space in his yard, its wonkiness and creakiness had been a running joke between the couple, who simultaneously told each other to be kind to their purchase which was clearly ‘trying its best’ while also making fun of every little sound it made and deficiency it sported. The truth of the matter was that it was not a bad car for a couple of broke adolescents like themselves, but it certainly had its lacks and its things left to be desired.

‘Oh, so the car is a she, but when I call the Red Special a she it’s wrong?’ Brian asked his partner critically.

‘What can I say?’ John shrugged, not at all dodged by the question. ‘I don’t make the rules.’

‘You literally just did,’ Brian reminded him.

‘You don’t complain when I made the rules last night, you know,’ John said with ease, and Brian snorted. He could definitely appreciate John’s new-found sharkiness. Or perhaps it wasn’t new-found - it was just that now he used it for light-hearted comments that were guaranteed to make the people around him snicker, while previously at Queen Mary’s he had used it against people, such as Freddie in his overenthusiasm, or Roger after he’d tipped another pill or taken a shot of whatever was available to him at that point in time. Brian remembered how hesitant he had been of John during the first few weeks because of uneasiness about the guy’s use of his wits, how he’d been on his tiptoes to avoid John saying something questionable to him, even though this had never happened. John had never used his sharkiness against him, and nowadays no one had to fear for it anymore. Being in a much better place than he had been half a year ago, John never seemed to feel the need to use his wits against anyone anymore - only to make people laugh, which continued to make Brian feel warm and soft inside, even if his jokes teased him.

‘I wonder what their families think about us now that we’ve taken their spots during all the last visiting hours,’ Brian asked as he slowed down for a red light.

‘Freddie just wrote about that in his last letter,’ John answered. ‘Said that his parents aren’t too happy they don’t get to see him anymore, but that they’re taking it as a good sign that Freddie has us come and visit him instead of just his parents all the time.’

‘Which letter was that?’ Brian asked, stepping on the gas when the light turned green. ‘Don’t think I read it.’

‘Oh, then he probably mentioned it in one of Freddie’s and my daily ongoing Kama Sutra centred correspondence,’ John grinned.

Bian kept his eyes on the road, but that didn’t stop him from giving John a partly-punishing, partly-playful pat on the upper leg. ‘That would explain why you’re so keen on making all of these explicit comments all the time lately.’

‘Someone has to do the work now that Freddie isn’t here with us,’ John argued.

‘Yeah, well. Something’s telling me you’re not going to stop this new hobby of yours, not even when Freddie will come and join us.’

‘Probably not, no. We’ll probably just egg each other on,’ John grinned. Brian voiced his disagreement with this future prospect, before they moved on to discuss what it really would be like to have Freddie and Roger move in with them into the new apartment - or just to live on their own in general. Neither Brian nor John had ever done so before; Brian had lived close enough to university to continue living in his parents’ house, and John had barely been eighteen and only just done with high school when he was sent to Queen Mary’s. Roger and Freddie, on the other hand, did have experience living on their own - but the plenty of stories they’d told about their own moments of shame in the kitchen and the bathroom and general housekeeping did not exactly give Brian and John much hope.

As they hit the highway, they recalled Roger telling them how he’d once tried to get a clot of hair out of the shower drain using knife and form, and Freddie calling his sister in the middle of the night to ask her what the difference was between an oven and a microwave. The best - or worse, for that matter - out of all the things they’d heard overtime they unanimously decided was Freddie messing up his roommate’s kettle because he’d opened up and tried to boil an egg in the hot water; which on its own was bad enough, but him not having gotten the memo that an egg was liquid before boiling and thus unexpectedly cracking the egg into the kettle was worse for sure. To make the chaos complete, he’d then panicked and tries to fish out little pieces of half-boiled egg yolk with a pair of tweezers, and had burned his hand in the process of this. However, knowing that Roger once fell violently ill because he used to cook his chicken medium rare, the couple decided that it was probably best not to have neither Freddie nor Roger near the kitchen anywhere soon, and that they’d be the best candidates to cook the meals until they would manage to teach the others some basic culinary skills and food knowledge that apparently was not as common as they had thought.

Most of the remaining way to Queen Mary’s was then spent discussing which dishes the pair of them could cook and what to do in case they had an off-day on which they did not feel like touching the oven or stove in any sort of way. Brian drove comfortably despite having yet to get used to the car and not knowing the route by heart; he had, after all, driven them to Queen Mary’s twice before, and even if he took a wrong turn, there’d be plenty of time left as they’d made their departure unnecessarily early, as even he dared to admit by now.

There was, in the end, no reason at all to have to be stressed. They reached their destination at twenty past ten; early enough to park in the best available spots, and so early that the gates had not even opened yet.

‘Huh. Funny to be locked up from the other side for a change,’ John commented, which made Brian snort.

They looked on as Ian, one of the guards they came across often when he had back door duty, sauntered out of the building with a coworker they did not recognise - a new hire, they assumed. Brian was the one to first open the door, circle the car, and take out their instruments. He handed the bass over to John with a smile, and they moved on to the gates on which Ian was just laying the last hand to open it.

‘Morning, guys,’ Ian nodded at them, drawing the gate open with the help of his coworker. ‘You’re early today.’

‘Don’t want to miss a second of a chance to spend time at Queen Mary’s, of course,’ Brian smiled, and he took the hand Ian reached towards him for a handshake. John did the same afterwards.

‘I’d say so,’ Ian grinned. ‘You’re here to see Bulsara and that blond guy with him, right?’

‘Roger Taylor, yeah,’ John confirmed. ‘We have to arrange some last things before they leave and come to live with us.’

‘They’re leaving as well! You’re leaving me all alone here,’ Ian sighed exorbitantly loudly.

‘Of course not!’ Brian protested. ‘I see you’ve got a new coworker!’ He gave a nod towards the quiet but severe-looking middle-aged man standing to Ian’s right side.

‘Oh, I do. This is Frank,’ Ian introduced his coworker, who stepped forward to shake hands with the couple as well.

‘Is he a replacement or has Queen Mary’s finally decided to take on more security?’ John asked.

‘Believe it or not, but we’re finally getting more security,’ Ian said. When John lifted an eyebrow in surprise, he added: ‘I mean- there are two new guards as of now, but they’re looking for a few more. Problem is that not everyone is suitable to work in this environment. Finding guards that are both strict enough to keep order but gentle enough to work with the patients is a task on its own.’

Brian nodded in understanding - he was actually surprised by this information Ian shared with them. It might have seemed trivial and self-explanatory to someone else to hear that management was running tests to find the right guards for the demographics, Brian had seen enough /bullshit and acts of pure carelessness or even negligence at Queen Mary’s to know that it was not that self-evident to have the right people in the right positions. He was glad to hear that they were finally stepping up their game, though.

The next visitors arrived behind them, so John and Brian said their goodbyes to Ian and his new coworker, and walked towards the side entrance of the building, which they had learned was the visitor’s entrance of Queen Mary’s. It continued to feel weird to Brian to enter the visiting room from this side instead of through the patients’ entrance, but, knowing that John had only seen that side once and that having been with the half-disastrous, half-salvaging meeting with his parents, he decided not to bring that up. He did not want to bring up any bad memories, after all - today was supposed to be fun and good news only.

Having listed their names at the register and woven the safety pin with the ‘VISITOR’ button attached to it through the fabric of their shirts, the couple sat down on an uncomfortable wooden bench to await being searched. No one showed up, though, apart from more visitors; but just as Brian was about to make a comment about Queen Mary’s probably having shifted their funding away from visiting hour staff to be able to pay for new security, the figure of a man loomed up before them.

‘You should know by now that those instruments simply won’t do at Queen Mary’s,’ a voice said, before both the man and the couple he was facing smiled at each other.

‘Nolan!’ Brian beamed, nearly losing grip of his guitar as he jumped up from the bench to fling his arms around his former mentor. Upon first leaving Queen Mary’s he had never thought he’d grow to miss anyone apart from his friends, but only a few weeks at home had proven him utterly wrong. He missed Nolan’s cheerfulness and vigour, Sarah’s trust and her patience with him, and even Jasper’s eternal attempt at engaging everybody in group discussions. Still, the role Nolan had played in his survival at Queen Mary’s, and in his healing process as far as Queen Mary’s had been responsible for that, was one that Brian was not going to forget anywhere soon. Nolan had been the one to walk him through his first weeks at Queen Mary’s, the one he had always been able to reach out to during his time, and the one who had helped him get out when he had needed to. No one had ever cared so deeply as Nolan had, and Brian would always be thankful to him for the effort he’d put into every single day he had been out and about at the institution, because it really had made a change for the better.

‘Hi buddy! I’ve missed you!’ Nolan said, again with such sincerity that only Nolan could add to his words. ‘How are things going? Did you get the apartment?’

‘Not the one we originally were hoping for, but two weeks ago we got another offer. Even better, perhaps,’ Brian detached himself from Nolan so that John could share a hug with his mentor also. Perhaps Nolan had not played as large a role in his life at Queen Mary’s as he had for Brian, but John had also grown to miss the stability that Nolan had provided - a rock for all who needed him, whenever and wherever.

‘Really?’ Nolan asked, his voice muffled as his face was half-buried in John’s shoulder.

‘Really. Three bedroom apartment with central heating and a recently updated kitchen in Kensington.’

‘Three-bedroom apartment! In Kensington, out of all places! Count yourself lucky!’ Nolan beamed. He let go of John at last, and looked them both in the eyes as he said: ‘You deserve it, guys. If anyone I’ve ever met in here deserves such an opportunity, it’s you.’ Brian smiled and John just blushed, but they both knew Nolan meant it, and it felt good, really good to have someone wish them well with all of his heart.

Just as Brian was thinking of saying something to wish Nolan well, such as telling him he hoped he’d been a little less busy than he’d been in their days or that he’d been given a few kind and unproblematic pupils in their place, a nasal voice asking loudly if anyone was going to check them or if they could just move on through to the visiting area straight away made them turn around. Nolan shot them an apologetic glance - one they still remembered from the many times when he’d been called away by various duties when they still lived at Queen Mary’s. They took their leave of Nolan, but were reunited with them again as they passed him and Derek, who had come to help him out, to search all visitors. They exchanged a few more words as they were patted down, but, upon finding nothing in their pockets and probably trusting them to still abide by the rules as they (largely) did while living at the place, they were given permission to enter the visiting room.

With one hand on John’s back and the other around the neck of his beloved guitar, Brian guided the pair of them to a table in the front left corner of the room. From this spot, Freddie and Roger would be able to spot them, but they would not be in the way of too many people during their time together. That’s what they hoped, at any rate, but Brian knew that no one among the four of them particularly cared about their noise levels when they got to see each other once per month, and especially not now that they had such good news to celebrate.

Visitors spilled into the room, security made their rounds, and cups of coffee and tea were distributed at random among the occupied tables by two lunch ladies with no regard for anyone’s preferences for which beverage they wished or how they wished to take it. Knowing that John didn’t like his coffee without sugar - his sweet spot, as Brian liked to call it when they were just among themselves - he offered to take the bitter drink, and let John have the cup of tea. They took small sips of the hot liquids and made some comments on the room, the visitors, and Queen Mary’s in general while eagerly waiting for Freddie and Roger to join them.

Their patience was eventually rewarded - just as Brian downed the last of what John had dubbed Queen Mary’s bitter bean juice, the heavy iron door swung open, and the patients were released into the room. Half of them anxious and half of them apathetic, it didn’t take long for Brian to spot the excited expression and manner of their friends, who had stumbled through the door together and anxiously searched for them.

‘Freddie, Roger! Here!’ Brian found himself standing up from the table and wave a hand above his head to lead his friends in the right direction. John stood up and even gave a whistle to a confused looking Freddie - something Brian never could have imagined him doing half a year ago, but which he now did with a smile on his face. Even calling their names out loud was something he himself would not have dared to do upon first arriving in Queen Mary’s, afraid of other people’s reactions. Now he couldn't care less about the glances and the stares; not when Roger spotted them and excitedly pulled Freddie with him towards the table.

Brian felt his smile growing wider as the couple approached their table in a half-walking, half-running manner. They looked stronger, better, happier every time they visited Queen Mary’s to see them, and today was no exception. Roger’s face had a healthy glow to it, which was a huge difference to the pale greyish tint of his skin he had sported while on and off his heroin addiction. His eyes were less sunken and his cheeks had a certain rosy softness to them that made him look sweet and even more boyish than he had done before.

The changes in Freddie were even more visible. His skin had also recovered from its snow-white phase, and the beginnings of a bronze tone were showing, which showed the Parsi background that Brian knew Freddie had but which had never been too visible. Brian could also tell, as he stepped closer, that he had again managed to gain some weight over the past month. It might have been minimal, not more than a few pounds, but for someone of his frame and statue this made a real difference. His clothes no longer swung around his body the way they used to, and his cheekbones, although still sharp, did not stick out the way they used to, which made his face look more elegant and proportioned. His walk had become more steadfast, and even his hair looked shinier than it used to - something he knew Freddie would say was the result of some new hair product, but which Brian could tell had more to do with him finally starting to eat things besides slices of tomato and shim yoghurt than with any sort of hair conditioner.

‘Darliiiiiings!’ Freddie cooed with the second vowel drawn-out dramatically as he let Brian envelop his torso with his long arms, laughing loudly and most of all genuinely when Brian clutched him tightly against his chest and pressed kisses against his hair. It had always been Freddie who had initiated hugs and kisses of any sort, but he sure seemed delighted to have his friend take the lead this time around.

‘I’m so glad you’re here!’ said Roger, who next to Freddie had been subdued to the same treatment by John, be it with a hand grating through his long blond locks instead of having a pair of lips pressed against it. ‘You must be here with the new car! You need to tell me all about it!’

‘Well, eh, what do you want to know?’ John asked.

‘Everything!’ Roger beamed, dislodging himself from John’s chest. ‘What’s the manufacturer, and the building year, and how many HP? What’s the engine capacity? And the torque!’

‘Well, it’s a Fiat 124 from France, built in December 1961. It has 61 HP,  which is decent, but the torque isn’t spectacular,’ John admitted. Brian felt Freddie take a step back from him but they held each other at an arm’s length anyway, not ready to let this instant conversation break them up yet. ‘I mean, the number they gave us was high, but that’s the maximum torque of the IC engine.’

‘I know,’ Roger nodded. ‘They try to impose you with a torque of 200 when RPM is what’s really important when looking at acceleration speed. Or plainly the zero-to-sixty-span, although that’s dependable on the circumstances of the environment of the car…’

‘Let’s leave all of that to the nerds, shall we?’ Freddie suggested halfway through the sentence when he noticed that neither Brian nor he either understood or cared about the discussion of their latest vehicular purchase. ‘God, what do I care about cars when you’re here to see us!’ he said when Brian nodded to his proposal, and he threw himself back against Brian’s chest. Brian just smiled and hooked an arm around Freddie’s side so he could pat his back. For the first time probably since he had met Freddie, he was finally comfortable hugging him without fearing he would break his roommate in two - something Brian definitely found worthy of praise and celebration.

‘It’s so good to have you here and literally see that you’re making progress,’ Brian smiled into the shoulder of Freddie, who unfortunately did not think of this as a good sign at all. He unwrapped his arms from Brian’s back and stepped away from him with a look of serious uneasiness and shock on his face.

‘Oh fuck, no, does it really show? Can you tell that I- gained weight?’ The last words came out in a squeak that betrayed just how painful the idea of putting weight back on still was for Freddie, who looked as if he was going to cry if he was not going to receive comfort in the form of assurance that he hadn’t gained a gramme and that he looked emaciated as always. The problem was that Brian could not do it, refused to do it - now that Freddie was finally on the road towards recovery, he was not going to praise anything weight loss-related.

Choosing his words carefully, Brian said: ‘It just shows a little in your face, and I can feel it in your ribs when I hold you. It’s a very positive change, Freddie, believe me.’

Freddie, however, looked at Brian as if he had just grabbed him by the throat and left him breathless. ‘That’s not positive, that’s- that’s disgusting,’ he whimpered.

‘It’s not disgusting,’ Brian protested. ‘It’s good and it’s healthy and it’s exactly what should happen. It’s exactly why you look better and feel so much better lately - it’s why you’ll be allowed to leave soon. Don’t you want that?’ Brian asked. ‘You don’t want to stay at Queen Mary’s or similar places forever and fight with food your whole life, right?’

Freddie blinked at him, once, twice, a third time, then looked down. ‘I don’t want that,’ he muttered. ‘But I don’t want to look like… like this either.’ Despite Freddie still protesting his progress, Brian noticed that he recognised he did have an unhealthy relationship with food, which a few months ago he would have refused to do. Things were going in the right direction at last.

‘Like what?’ Brian asked. ‘Strong and healthy and beautiful? With some colour on your face and shiny hair and a perfect body to carry around a perfect person?’

Freddie huffed. ‘The hair’s just my new after shower hair mask.’

‘I literally predicted you would say that,’ Brian rolled his eyes, but then sternly added: ‘Don’t undermine your own progress, Freddie.’

Freddie opened his mouth as if he had something grand to say to defend himself, but nothing came out apart from a choked ‘I’m not’, which Brian could see right through. He knew Freddie did not at all see his recent progress as such, and knew his friend needed support and consolation.

‘Believe me, Freddie. You might not see it now, but in a few years you’ll look back at yourself and be proud,’ Brian promised him with a voice firm enough to make him look away at first, then shyly face him.

‘Do you really think so?’ Freddie asked. Brian smiled, again seeing this (be it unsure sounding) question as a win, for Freddie did not actively oppose to what he claimed.

‘I’m sure of it,’ Brian said just as firmly. Then, deciding to try his luck, he asked Freddie openly for the first time ever: ‘How far are you now?’

Freddie, knowing exactly what he meant, faced him with a look of mild panic and hesitation. ‘I… I’m too embarrassed to tell you,’ he said at first, but after a handful of seconds, he beckoned Brian closer, and stood on his tiptoes to whisper to him: ‘I’m at 98 now.’

‘Really?’ Brian said in an upbeat tone, ignoring the fact that this still was a ridiculously low number and instead focussing on it being at least more than ten pounds than he had weighed during much of his own stay at Queen Mary’s. You have no idea how much progress that is. When I got here you were what, 86 pounds?’

‘And a half, yes,’ Freddie said, then sighed. ‘I can’t help wanting to go back there somewhere deep inside. I know I shouldn’t want that, and Roger tells me I’m crazy, but...’

‘It’ll take a while to get rid of those thoughts,’ Brian finished his sentence when Freddie ran out of words. ‘You’ve been used to thinking like that for so long. But it’s good that Roger’s your voice of reason in those moments,’ Brian said, which was a sentence he had not expected to ever leave his mouth. It had always been Freddie who had tried to talk sense back into Roger whenever he had graved his beloved heroin or its substitutes, so it had been unexpected to learn that it was now Roger who told Freddie right instead. Brian was glad to hear that he did, though - but he would be even happier when the couple would move in with John and him so they could keep an eye on Freddie and his eating habits between the three of them. Together they would pull Freddie through.

‘Yes, Roger as my voice of reason,’ Freddie laughed with a sideward glance at his boyfriend, who was luckily still engaged in talk of carburettors and gear shifts with John. ‘No, but he’s really sweet and helpful. He’ll go with me to my dietary sessions whenever he doesn’t have to attend sessions on his own. He’ll hold me when I cry whenever I have to step on a scale and everyone’s celebrating me having put on weight. He’s really pulling me through this, you know.’

It melted Brian’s heart to hear that the couple was able to support each other so well. ‘That’s very good to hear. Roger will be so relieved when you’ll finally hit the 100 pounds mark.’

‘I know,’ Freddie sighed. ‘I suppose I do want to get there, even if it’s mainly for him. And well, you know- he did promise a reward if I did.’

‘A reward?’ Brian lifted an eyebrow. ‘And what would that be?’

Freddie cast his eyes up dramatically, and twirled a strand of hair around a bony finger. ‘Oh, I could hardly repeat that to you. It would not be good for your sensitive ears.’ Brian refrained from giving Freddie a teasing push out of fear that his friend might topple over, and instead just stuck out his tongue at him.

‘Who’s got sensitive ears?’ sounded the voice of Roger, who joined into the conversation at the exact right moment for Freddie and Brian to not have to repeat the latter part of their discussion.

‘Brian and I, which is why we couldn’t listen to you going on about cabaret and such.’

‘I’ve told you a thousand times before it’s a carburettor.’

‘Oh, my ears! My sensitive ears!’ Freddie said, covering the sides of his face with his hands like a Victorian housewife who had suddenly be seized by a fit of dizziness.’

‘Okay, we get it,’ John snorted. ‘Sit your majestic behind down, Queen Victoria.’

Freddie did as he was told, but, unlike the rest of them, he was incapable of sitting down without another clever comment in his newly assumed role of British royalty. ‘The nerve of some men to address their Queen in such a manner.’

‘It’s one Queen against another Queen, mind you,’ John said with an air of sassiness he had grown to assume when Freddie and he were sharing a moment like this one. ‘We’re all Queens. Why else did we name our band that?’

‘To honour this glorified poorhouse, of course,’ Roger answered the question on Freddie’s behalf. ‘I can’t wait to get out of here,’ he sighed.

‘Are things still going downhill here?’ Brian asked, finding a window of opportunity to turn the conversation into a relevant direction before Queen Anne, Queen Elizabeth, Queen Mary, and whoever more may have been a female ruler of the Kingdom would be evoked.

Roger and Freddie shared a look as if to gauge each other’s stance on the matter, before Roger turned back to Brian and shook his head. ‘Not even. I think I’ve actually seen some improvements around the place. There’s more security guards, for instance.’

‘We know. We met a new coworker of Ian outside at the gate,’ John told them. ‘It’s good that they’re finally hiring more people.’

‘Yes, it’s just a shame that they’re doing it now that the worst of threats have passed,’ Roger said. ‘I mean- that was a bit of an unfortunate way of wording it, but- well, Drew did pass indeed, and Clyde’s left just two weeks ago.’

Brian, although he felt a tinge of unease when he heard the death of their once-enemy turned last-minute well-wisher being mentioned, decided to skip that debate and asked after the departure of the other gang leader instead: ‘Clyde’s left?’

‘Oh yes! That was a funny story,’ Roger said, and Brian could see Freddie grin in agreement from the side of his eye. ‘Turned out there was a warrant against Clyde for suspected involvement in drug dealing, whitewashing, extortion, and similar businesses. Clyde’s lawyer apparently made an arrangement with his psychiatrist to have him shipped off to an institution to avoid being prosecuted.’

‘The GA was not amused when he found out, mind you,’ Freddie took over the role of narrating the story that had Brian and John grinning with a sense of victory over the evil fellow patient already. ‘He was escorted out of the building by the police and taken for interrogation, and admitted to his crimes. It’s said that he’ll be kept on bail until the day of the court so he won’t go anywhere again.’

‘Well, that should serve him right,’ Brian said. ‘And things have been quieter since?’

‘I’d say so, yes. Their gangs are still sort of active, but without a real leader they don’t do much. Maybe push each other in the hallway or so, or throw food around in the canteen. But it’s not as bad as it used to be.’

‘They also restructured time in the public rooms,’ Roger said. ‘You have to sign up beforehand now, and security will check if there’s no people who they know to cause trouble when they get to see each other. So basically everyone just has access, apart from the people they know will cause problems, who’ll just not be let in. And with more security around, they can actually implement this rule.’

‘That sounds good-’ Brian agreed, but before he could properly finish his sentence, Freddie interrupted him as he suddenly thought of something he’d obviously meaning to tell him.

‘Oh! And Ariel is back, by the way!’

Brian looked at Freddie for a second, before half-asking, half-exclaiming: ‘Really?’

‘Really. Now that the largest fools are gone and more security is around, she told management she’d have another try. She still only works half of the hours she used to, but things seem to be going well. Or, you know- as well as things can go with the depression talk group patients,’ he said somewhat awkwardly. Brian didn’t mind at all - he was positively overwhelmed with this news. It had been so long since he’d last heard anyone even mention the name of one of their therapy leaders who had left under a cloak of mysterious unmentionable reasons expected to be sexual violence she had experienced at the clinic, that he had not even considered the option of her coming back again. To hear that she had overcome her fears and had made an attempt at returning to the place where Brian knew her heart lay, made him beam with hope. Queen Mary’s was not as much as a lost cause as it once had seemed to him.

‘That’s really good news. Seriously, I’m very glad to hear that,’ Brian said.

‘Seems like things are finally falling into their right places after all,’ John smiled. ‘Just a bit of a shame that it’s happening now that we’ll all soon be gone.’

‘Which we really have to discuss, by the way,’ Roger said excitedly - he seemed so much more lively and upbeat now that he’d been clean for almost three months straight. ‘You need to tell us about the apartment!’

‘Oh, yes, the apartment. Well, as I wrote to you the other day, it’s going to be the one in Kensington, not in Shepherd’s Bush. It has three bedrooms instead of two, and central heating throughout the house,’ John informed Roger, whose short, high-blown whistle seemed to indicate that he was excited.

‘What floor is it on?’ Freddie asked.

‘Second floor, so it’s four flights of stairs. Don’t you dare make a comment about how that’ll be good for your workout,’ John warned Freddie, who innocently held up his hands.

‘I wouldn’t dare to, dear,’ Freddie said. ‘But tell us more! What’s it look like? You’ve been there, right?’

‘Twice,’ Brian confirmed. ‘It has one large living room, dining area, and kitchen, which was recently renewed. And there’s double glass everywhere, also recently done.’

‘Do you have any pictures?’

‘I only have the advertisement page from the real estate agent, but it has a few pictures.’ Brian dug into the chest pocket of his shirt, and fished out a black and white housing advertisement on newspaper quality material, all folded up and crinkled after having looked at it with John a million times before while they imagined what would be in so near a future. Their soon-to-be-roommates-again did not seem to mind, though; the piece was all but ripped out of his hands and unfolded by the eager fingers of Freddie, who spread out the paper and laid it out on the tabletop before him.

‘Look at that! Such a fancy frontage, my dears! And those large windows!’ Freddie said loudly enough to make people around them look up. Brian shortly considered telling Freddie to keep his voice down, but upon seeing the joy on his friend’s face as Roger and he pointed fingers at the images and the accompanying descriptions, he decided to let them be.

‘Seventy-five square metres!’ Roger pointed out equally enthusiastically. ‘The master bedroom has its own washstand and running water…’

‘Mind you, that’s the one Brian and I already claimed,’ John informed them.

‘Doesn’t matter. I’ll just claim the spare bedroom for my drums.’

‘What about my extended wardrobe closet, then?’ Freddie asked. ‘Where do I put all my clothes? And where does Brian put his dildo collection?’ Brian snorted, obviously not having expected the conversation to head into this direction, let alone to be dragged into it as it did.

‘I have a suggestion as to where he leaves them,’ Roger said with wiggling eyebrows, and Brian rolled his eyes.

‘In the room you wanted to put your drums. And in your bed, if you don’t hold your tongue.’

‘Oh! Brian bites back,’ Freddie grinned, crooking his fingers to give the impression of a pair of claws. ‘No, we’ll see what we’ll do with the spare room when we get to it. As for now I’m just so excited to have a house and to live with you again, god!’

Brian smiled, glad they moved on to a more acceptable topic. ‘It’s going to be great. It’s so nice to know we’ve got a decent place from which we can build up our lives again.’

‘But we’ve really got it, then? It’s been signed for and all?’ Roger asked. Brian nodded.

‘We went to sign the contracts yesterday. Or well, my dad signed - he’s the one who actually has the credit it takes to be eligible for renting. You know, given that none of us has like… worked in the past year at least, and none of us has a degree or is currently working on getting a degree…’ he laughed a bit awkwardly. ‘Anyway, with our student loans, or maybe a weekend job on top of that, it shouldn’t be a problem to pay the rent back to my dad.’

Roger nodded. ‘We’ll manage. Freddie and I have actually talked for a bit these last few days, and we’ve decided we’ll take up a job first. I mean, the school year’s just started, so we can either hurry to recover a month of uni without any preparation, or do some work first.’

‘Sounds good,’ Brian said. ‘We’ll live in the inner city - I’m sure there’ll be many places around who hire.’

‘Oh no, we don’t want to work for an employer,’ Freddie brushed off the idea with a literal wave of the hand. ‘We want to be our own bosses.’ Brian shared a look with John, but neither of them could either say or ask something before Freddie had already told them of their plans. ‘We want to start a vintage clothing stall!’

‘A vintage… clothing stall?’ John repeated.

‘Yes!’ Freddie confirmed with pride, either not seeing or ignoring his friend’s reservation. ‘We can buy clothes cheaply from people who want to get rid of them and get some cash for it without doing too much work, and then sell it in our own store, or market stall, or whatever place we can get. We can work with fashion, with is something we both enjoy, and give people advice, and get all dressed up ourselves - we’ll have to know the clothes we sell, after all!’

Brian blinked a few times, and then, when John did not seem to have a reply to this, he offered: ‘‘That sounds great!’

‘I know!’ Freddie beamed. ‘It’ll be so much fun to find those real gems between clothes people dispose of, and see what we can still do with it.’

Roger nodded in agreement with what his partner said. ‘And clothes that are not good enough for selling anymore, we can always take together and use the fabric for new pieces.’

‘You can sow fabulous things out of old scraps of fabric, you know!’ Freddie said.

‘A good idea,’ Brian agreed wholeheartedly. ‘But do either of you have, eh... any tailoring skills?’ Brian asked, trying his hardest not to sound sceptic. It was not that he had no faith at all in this plan of his friends, and it was frankly beautiful to see how excited the idea of working together and in a field they were both interested in excited them. Selling clothes sure could be done. How plausible it was, however, that they’d make great tailors if they had no prior knowledge of the trade, and whether they’d be able to support themselves from the selling of second-hand clothes, was something he was not too certain of.

‘My last name isn’t Taylor for no reason,’ Roger winked with a smile at his friends sitting across the table, leaving them unsure of the actual answer to Brian’s question. Then again, Brian decided for himself that this was not too important at the time being; what really mattered was that Freddie and Roger, who had gone through some serious issues, both mentally, emotionally, and physically, were now in good enough of a state to make exciting plans for the future, which they strove to carry out once they’d left Queen Mary’s. And maybe those plans did not cover all of their bills, but who worried about that at this point?

‘Oh, Roger!’ Freddie suddenly exclaimed as he all but gripped his partner by the upper arm, as if Roger was possibly going anywhere if he did not hold on to him physically. ‘Something that suddenly dawns on me. Isn’t there some place called Kensington Market or so, right in the middle of Kensington, where you can hire indoor stalls?��

‘Oh shit, I know that place!’ Roger answered. ‘I’ve been there once with Clare to have a look. We should check if they have anything available, because that would be exactly the right crowd for our store!’

‘And it’d be so close to our house, we can literally just walk there! What was the address again?’ Freddie said, and the pair turned to the paper in front of them. Brian and John shared a look of mutual appreciation for Freddie and Roger’s plans to keep themselves occupied and keep their spirits up once they’d be released from Queen Mary’s, even if it might be a bit too ambitious and enthusiastic. Fingertips pointed out places on the small location map provided on the advertisement page, street names Brian had never heard of were flung around with enthusiasm, only to be silenced when a new voice joined the discussion of their store’s possible location.

‘Working out some escape plan, huh?’ A large hand was placed on a shoulder of either man, who turned around to see the same staff member Brian and John had earlier welcomed with happiness and gratitude.

‘Nolan!’ Freddie exclaimed. ‘Come here, darling, you need to see our new house! We’re gonna move to a great place in Kensington!’

‘I’ve been told so by your friends!’ Nolan said, giving a nod towards Brian and John. ‘Show me the evidence.’

Roger didn’t have to be told twice, picked up the paper and quite literally shoved it in Nolan’s face, while Freddie read out loud various of the descriptions Brian could tell from the concentrated look on his ex-mentor’s face Nolan was trying to read for himself simultaneously, as Freddie’s report was messy and random at best. Nevertheless, Nolan patiently listened to Freddie’s excited chatter and happily looked at the random images Roger pointed out, and afterwards gave them the same blessing he had given to Brian and John beforehand. They then chatted for a little longer between the five of them, until, just as Nolan made an attempt to say his goodbyes - he had to keep an eye on everyone in the room, after all - Freddie tugged at the mentor’s sleeve and flash him his dearest puppy eyes, before asking him for a favour Brian had not yet considered a possibility.

‘Ahw Nole, can we go outside?’

‘Outside?’ Nolan repeated, obviously no having seen this request coming. ‘You mean now?’

‘Yes! Surely you remember the four of us used to go outside to talk and play music all the time when we all lived at Queen Mary’s?’ Freddie said in an attempt to refresh Nolan’s mind.

It seemed to work. ‘I do remember, yes. Staff used to be glad when you did, so we would not have your noise sounding through the paper walls of this place,’ Nolan laughed.

‘Our noise?’ Freddie repeatedly indignantly, but Roger saw his window of opportunity to convince Nolan to let them go out in these words.

‘Exactly! If you let us go out, you won’t have us play in the middle of your visiting room. If you don’t, you’ll force us to practice right here and interrupt everyone’s conversations,’ Roger argued - or threatened, more like.

‘Practice right here in the middle of the visiting room?’ Nolan repeated with a grin. He could obviously see the humour in the men’s creativity to convince him to let them go out - which was a relief to Brian, who had feared that Freddie would have been told off for asking for something so bold and so plainly against the rules. Then again, Nolan had never been one to follow the rulebook all too literally - something that now seemed to catch up with him.

‘You allowed us to come in with our guitars, now you’ll have to live with the consequences.’ The threat now came from John, which was an unexpected corner to be attacked from; in any case, unexpected for a staff member like Nolan, who was not familiar with John’s quiet but sly antics.

‘John! I don’t remember you to be this bold,’ Nolan reproached him. John just smiled and shrugged.

‘That’s because you’re staff,’ Freddie said. ‘If you were with us, you would have seen him break through security and sneak into the kitchen to get himself food if he didn’t feel like having breakfast among us peasants.’

Nolan shook his head in quasi-disapproval. ‘Breaking through security, raiding the kitchen, threatening to stir up visiting hour… I don’t believe I can safely deny you guys anything anymore at this point.’

‘So you’ll let us go out?’ asked Freddie, already half lifting himself out of his chair.

Nolan looked around the relatively peaceful room, checked to see if no one was paying specific attention to them, and eventually said: ‘Get up calmly and follow me.’ This permission was received with enthusiasm by the four men sitting around the table, who - despite trying their best not to attract too much attention - made a lot more noise than they intended to do. Chairs were shoved back, the advertisement crinkled up and shoved into a pocket, John and Brian picked up their guitars and swung the strap around their chests, which required them to raise an arm and duck their heads in the process. If all of this was not enough to draw the attention, then it was Roger, who, in his hurry to follow Nolan, bumped a bony knee into the leg of the table, and uttered a necessary curse with it.

‘Get up calmly, I said!’ Nolan repeated his earlier words when the four men followed in his footsteps. He showed off his staff card and exchanged a few words with the warden on duty, who then opened the heavy iron door leading into the building.

‘If you wanted to teach us manners you should have done so earlier than three weeks before we’re leaving, Nole,’ Roger grinned. Nolan jokes about treating new patients like army recruits following his experience with the inhabitants of room 41B, but Brian did not quite catch all of that. He was more absorbed by getting to catch another glimpse of the inside of Queen Mary’s, which, at half-past eleven, was alive and tumultuous as he remembered it to be. People walked through the hallway, emerged from sideways and doors, and freely walked in and out of the canteen. Brian dimly remembered Roger writing him about the ban on using the canteen between mealtimes having been lifted now that the biggest problems with patient behaviour had passed, but seeing it himself made it a little more real. To actually see people sitting in the canteen, talking and laughing and playing undoubtedly incomplete card games, reminded him of his own stay here - the good times and the bad times, the ups and downs, the highs and lows. There had been plenty of either of those.

‘Feels weird to walk through this hallway now,’ John remarked beside him, and Brian, caught up in the experience of it all, simply nodded in response.  

They trod through a few hallways, and eventually arrived at the hallway leading to the back entrance of the building. It was a hallway with a lot of memories attached to it, at least to Brian - it gave access to the bathroom where Jimmy had been found hanging from the ceiling, the one in which John had locked himself upon being told he had to leave Queen Mary’s. Turning the other way, Brian saw the staff rooms he had frantically searched in his quest for Nolan the evening he’d realised he needed a reassessment, and the room where mister Fisher had extensively examined him and his ability to return to society for weeks straight upon applying for said reassessment. Luckily, there one door that did have good memories attached to it for Brian, and that was the door that led outside, to the only place they had guaranteed peace and quiet and happiness while residing at the clinic. The place where John and he had shared and received, given and taken, spoken and listened, cried and laughed, lived and survived. Brian’s hand touched John’s, and John, understanding the gesture, gave his hand a comforting squeeze as they passed the threshold that led to the warden’s post at the end of the hallway, and, behind that, to freedom.

A single man was leaning against the wall, and looked up at the sight of the party of five that entered the space. Nolan showed off his card again, pointed to Brian’s and John’s visitor badges, and explained the whole matter. Freddie’s and Roger’s names were noted down in the log, and the door was unlocked and opened for them.

‘Well, go have fun, but don’t make me regret allowing you outside,’ Nolan said as words of wisdom and temporary goodbye.

‘We’ll play so loud that the London police will come and inspect the noise pollution,’ Roger promised. Freddie and he were the first to try and walk through the door, but they were halted by Nolan before they did so.

‘Wait! Where’s your coats, guys?’ Nolan asked, pointing to the long row of black jackets worn by people who chose to go outside, but which had remained untouched by the four.

‘We don’t need coats, it’s not that cold,’ Roger said.

‘It’s November,’ Nolan countered. ‘And neither of you weigh more than eight stone. Take a coat,’ he said, handing one to a begrudging Freddie and Roger, while John and Brian also took one in an attempt to lead by example. ‘Promise me to keep an eye on these two when I’m not around, will you?’ Nolan asked them, seemingly not noting that neither John nor Brian had reached out to pick up a coat before his interference.

In what seemed like an attempt to make this clear to Nolan, and with this give a hint that they could not be trusted to look after Freddie and Roger either, John disclosed: ‘Just this morning Brian’s mother handed me his coat because he wouldn’t take it himself.’

Nolan looked at him as to make out if he was pulling a joke on him, but when Brian somewhat shamefully admitted John spoke the truth, the mentor pulled open the door and pointed at the newly created exit. ‘Go now, before I change my mind and lock you all up in your room again to keep you safe.’

Freddie and Roger did not need to be told twice and dashed outside; John smiled apologetically at Nolan, and Brian gave his ex-mentor a comforting pat on the shoulder, before they too traded Queen Mary’s building for its gardens.

 # # #

 ‘It’s not even that cold outside,’ Freddie remarked as they sauntered into the garden. As soon as Nolan had left the scene, he had made a point out of taking off his coat and tying it around his waist in the least fashionable sense possible. Brian could not blame him, though; the coats were made of thick, wintery material, while the outside temperature of this particular November morning easily reached fifteen degrees. Apart from him, everyone had taken off their coach - including John, who seemed to have forgotten the idea of leading by example, and who carried his coat over his shoulder while they made their way over to the swing set they had spent so much time on while residing at Queen Mary’s.

‘That’s because you’ve finally got some meat on your bones, mate,’ Roger told Freddie - a comment delivered in good nature, and - much to Brian’s surprise - Freddie did not take it too badly at all.

‘Lay off, dear.’ Freddie rolled his eyes. ‘You gained what, fifteen pounds or so since you quit heroin?.’

‘Mind you, that’s a sign of recovery,’ Roger corrected him. ‘It’s one of the reasons they’re finally letting me go. And besides, you didn’t particularly seem to mind in bed these last few weeks,’ he grinned.

‘Of course not,’ Freddie readily admitted. ‘It looks good on you.’

‘It would look just as good on you,’ Roger said.

‘Yeah, well,’ Freddie said after a few seconds of silence. Planting himself down on the swing, he added: ‘The opinions about that differ.’

‘It’s literally you against the rest of the world, Fred,’ Roger reminded him.

Freddie gave a toothy smile. ‘It’s always been me against the world. I fail to see the problem with that.’

Roger, who by now had also taken a seat on the only other vacant swing, after having established with some hand gestures that neither Brian nor John insisted on sitting down, rolled his eyes and moved to a different topic. ‘It’s only three weeks left until they’ll let us leave. I can’t believe we’ll be free so soon.’

‘It’s been long enough, though,’ John said, crouching down on the moist sand beneath, and Brian followed his example - be it after having taken off his coat and using it as a protective layer against the ground. ‘How long have you been here for?’

‘Since August last year, so that would be… a year and three months,’ Roger calculated. ‘Freddie’s been here one month longer,’ he said, pointing at his partner.

‘That’s a long time,’ Brian said.

‘Especially when it’s been no use,’ Roger muttered.

‘That’s not true,’ John corrected him. ‘You came in as a serious heroin addict and now you’ve been clean for almost three months.’

‘Yeah, but that’s more to do with you than with Queen Mary’s,’ Roger said. ‘I only really saw the need to get clean when John was going to be released and when you went for a reassessment. When I saw that you were trying to get back your lives again, I wanted that, too. And especially when we started talking about renting a house together and seeing if we can get somewhere with our music as a band, I really started laying off drugs.’

‘Same here, I guess,’ Freddie added. ‘Well, not drugs - but I’ve been wanting to, eh… you know, get better from this… fear of eating and being fat and such since I’ve seen you move on and do so well. I want  to have that sort of life, too.’ He paused for a second, then said: ‘I mean, I’m not doing as good as people would like for me to do, but at least I’ve acknowledged that I do have a problem with eating, and I… do want to get over that.’

Brian nodded at his friend, who shyly glanced at him as to find approval for his words and way of thinking. ‘I’m really very happy you, and also you, Roger, are seeing that there’s life outside this place, and that you want to work on yourself to get there again.’

‘I think perspective is one of the problems with Queen Mary’s,’ John said. ‘While in here there’s no clear view of life outside, or what you’re doing it for. There’s no future or even a reward you’re working forwards, so why fight for it? I mean, God knows I didn’t do that until I was told to leave and Brian showed me all that could be if we put in effort.’

‘And when we saw you were doing well, Rog and I wanted to work on ourselves and be dismissed also,’ Freddie added.

‘Something good came out of you being sent away after all, Deaky,’ Brian said. ‘I see it as the turning point for all of us.’

John smiled. ‘It was a good thing to send me away, looking back at it. I just didn’t see any chances of having a life after Queen Mary’s. But looking back, I didn’t have too much of a life inside Queen Mary’s either, so what did I have to lose? Especially with Brian with me. I wish I would not have been so afraid at the time, because I worried about nothing.’

‘But you didn’t know that then,’ Brian reminded him. ‘Even I didn’t know we’d get to find a place of our own and a plan of going back to school in the second semester and working on ourselves in the meantime so soon. But I know it would be alright because I had you.’ John blushed slightly, but took Brian’s hand as a sign of appreciation.

‘I’m really glad actually to know that the pair of you are already out there, with an apartment and a plan of what to do and just some settlement. It really makes things easier to know that we’ll have a place to go to when they kick us out here, because the ‘‘guidance’’ they give us now can hardly be qualified as such’ Freddie said.

‘They’ve started to give you guidance, then?’ Brian asked.

‘Sort of. It’s called ‘‘preparation for resocialisation’’, and it’s nothing more than a meeting once a week starting four weeks before you’ll leave where they tell us some generic stuff about where to find support and how to apply for a follow-up therapist or psychiatrist or whatever you need. And they have some addresses for social housing if you have no place to turn to.’

Brian felt himself turn a little queasy at the idea of the last-mentioned - the government housing buildings for troublesome young adults that often suffered from addiction or showed violent behaviour. People who had been victims of abuse or sex trafficking, and who would be lost to the streets if it had not been for these communal buildings. It had been the place John would have been carded off to if it had not been for Brian’s family taking him in. While Brian was grateful there were places to help young homeless people, he knew that those at the same time would equal the destruction of someone vulnerable like Freddie or prone to falling back into bad habits like Roger, so he was infinitely grateful they were able to take in their friends after their journey at Queen Mary’s was to end.

The four of them talked for a bit about the less than ideal guidance Queen Mary’s offered to those about to be set free again, and about the general working and vibe of the place as of late. Group therapy sessions were still messy as usual, and some private therapy sessions had been replaced by mentor sessions due to a new influx of patients without a new influx of therapists. Roger was still not happy with his drugs counsellor who told him to ‘pray the drug cravings away’, but the guy seemed pleased enough with him, seeing as he had been clean for over ten weeks now. Freddie was finally cooperating with his dietician, and was allowed to sit with the eating disorder support group during mealtimes - which he had politely refused after figuring that he did better with just the support of Roger at his side, instead of ten other people struggling to eat a slice of tomato just now that he was getting over his fear. Security around the place had been reformed and tightened, which meant that the overall vibe of Queen Mary’s was both more friendly yet more rigid, with frequent drug- and weapon searches. Even though neither Freddie nor Roger had anything to fear from these routines, they admitted frequently having taken shelter in John’s little hiding place between the walls of a series of sheds used to store God knew what my management.

‘We figured you wouldn’t mind if we used it, Deaky,’ Roger said. ‘It’s saved us so much time from those useless drug tests and fire escape training sessions.’

John smiled. ‘I’m glad to hear my cave has been of use to you. I’d almost forgotten about its existence already.’

‘Deacon! How could you forget that place!’ Freddie rebuked him. ‘The place where Brian and you first fucked!’

‘Kissed!’ Brian corrected him indignantly. ‘We merely kissed there!’ Freddie pulled a smug expression of doubt that told Brian he was wordlessly inviting him to discuss the matter, but before he could answer, John - who was still holding his hand - stood up and tugged him along in the process.

‘I want to have a look at the cave,’ he said. ‘It is a disgrace that I forgot it already. Brian and I have had some… moments there.’

Freddie nodded, and - seeming to understand that this was a more serious matter between Brian and John, Roger and he refrained from getting up from their places. Instead, they encouraged their friends to have a look and take their time, and so Brian found himself walking off towards the sheds built against the outer wall of Queen Mary’s, hand in hand with his partner. They did not speak to each other on their way to their destination; in fact, they did not say anything even when John had felt for the opening of the wall, had ushered the pair of them through, and closed the fake brick door behind them. Light descended upon them from the open roof, but still there was a dark atmosphere in the narrow hallway in which their eyes now travelled up and down the walls and the ground on which they had found themselves sitting a manyfold of times.

‘It’s weird how I already forgot about this place,’ John said, being the first to break the silence. ‘It’s served me well so many times. Served us even better,’ he smiled, obviously referring to the time after he’d introduced Brian to his secret shelter.

‘I remember the first time you took me here,’ Brian said. ‘We were on the swings and an alarm was sounding for a drug test that you didn’t feel like going for, so you dragged me through a fake brick wall into this place. I thought I was losing my mind.’

‘Yeah, well, you really would have lost your mind if you would have been exposed to that dumb drug search they tried to carry out. I’m glad I was able to save you from it. Well, on that day, at any rate,’ John added, very much aware of not having managed to escape drug tests and fire escape assignments every time. That might have caused suspicion - but whenever they could help it, they had hidden in the cave to elope them.

Unwanted drug and weapon searches had hardly been the only time they’d ended up in the cave. They had done so also to ensure a sense of privacy, or when they simply did not feel like dealing with any of the people around them. Something neither of them had alluded to, Brian realised, was the kissing scene Freddie had referred to. Not that this surprised him all too much; being caught by Freddie and Roger while in the midst of their first kiss had been embarrassing, but it had hardly been the worst aspect of the situation. It had been after making the mistake of gifting john the bass guitar in broad daylight and thus giving away his secret hobby to their friends that John had run off to the comfort of the cave’s solitude, and Brian had gathered all his strength and had followed behind to apologise.

What then followed had been an emotional rollercoaster in which John had admitted to having read Brian’s diary, just like Roger and Freddie, and thus knowing about his crush on him. Brian had been in tears, afraid that John would not want to have anything to do with him anymore - only to have John express his feelings for him then and there, and pouring all their feelings of relief and guilt and happiness into a kiss that had then been broken up by the arrival of Freddie and Roger. It had been an eventful day, both emotionally and physically, and not one of their proudest days - even though it had been the one that had brought them together. That, in the end, seemed to win John over in his consideration of whether or not to bring it up.

‘Remember our first kiss was in here?’ he asked casually, but the small, tensed smile on his lips told Brian he was a little nervous about bringing it up.

‘Of course,’ Brian assured him. ‘I’ll remember that until the day I die. Together with all the hecticality around it,’ he grinned.

‘God, we were stupid,’ John groaned leaning back against one of the brick walls. ‘Me running out of the room and going here, as if this would not be the most obvious place for anyone of you to come find me.’

‘And me, following you with a guitar in either hand. Running right past the wardens like a madman,’ Brian recalled.

‘I did the same,’ John admitted with a chuckle. ‘Wonder what they must have thought. Two losers following each other outside and disappearing behind the sheds. Well, they probably drew their conclusion based on that,’ he laughed.

Brian smiled, too. ‘If only they would have known we were just in here, both half in tears, trying to get the other to forgive them for having been stupid. I honestly thought you’d hate me forever.’

‘Me, hating you? For doing nothing more than giving me a great present in a bad setting? Never,’ John discarded the idea. ‘I was convinced you’d hate me for having read your diary.’

‘Well, if that would have been a factor, I would have had to hate all three of you after that day,’ Brian sighed. ‘I just feared you’d find it too awkward to ever face me again now that you knew I was in love with you.’

‘As if I hadn’t hoped for that all along,’ John grinned. ‘God, we were idiots. It’s a good thing that at least we kissed that day, so that at least something good came of all of that chaos.’

Brian smiled to himself, agreeing that the kiss had been the good thing that had come from all of the chaos. Or well, not solely the kiss; making up for having presented the gift at the wrong time from his side, and having reacted unreasonably from John’s, admitting the crushed they had both walked around with for too long, and the beginning of their relationship, had all taken place as a result of the more or less ridiculous events of that day. That was worth celebrating now that all had been said and done, Brian decided.

‘Now that we’re here, and now that we’re talking about it… Want a repeat performance?’ he offered to his partner, who looked him in the eyes - but unfortunately not for the reason Brian had been hoping for.

‘You want me to reread your diary and storm out of the room as you’re giving me a bass guitar?’ John asked incredulously.  

‘No, silly. The kiss. Without interference, this time,’ Brian clarified.

John stepped closer towards him, and halted right in front of him. ‘Even if it would include the interference I’d still want it,’ he said, and brought his lips closer to Brian’s face to accept the proposal he’d been offered.

Unlike their first time, Brian now knew exactly what he was doing. He had shared a hundred kisses and more with his partner since this moment, and was a lot more confident in his skills. What remained the exact same as it had been the first time, and what would not change by the time they’d share a thousand kisses, was that he still felt that same tinge of excitement, that same rush of butterflies darting through his stomach, that same hint of nerves that made his knees grow weak as his lips were pressed against John’s. Sure, he was less jittery than he had been during their first kiss, and he certainly did not feel any of the performance stress he had done back then - yet that same magical flutter of excitement and swell of love was still there as their lips moved against each other, their hands found their ways to each other’s shoulders, and when eventually the corners of their mouths twitched up towards the end of the kiss. By the time they realised the significance of the moment they were recreating - the moment that had broken all boundaries between them that had existed until that point. That kiss had been the beginning of their relationship, the development of their love and trust, which had eventually led their recovery - all of which brought them to this moment right there, right then.

They parted in the end, after probably a longer time than Brian would have estimated from the top of his head, but their hands remained on each other’s shoulders from another moment as they simply drank in the sight of their partner, who stood before them with a look of loving gratitude.

Brian was the first to speak, after a moment where all they uttered was silent breaths. ‘We should get back there. Before Freddie and Roger decide to come running in on us again.’

‘No repeat performance of that, then?’ John asked, and Brian laughed.

‘Not if I can help it. I’m sure that’s going to happen plenty of times when we live together,’ he reminded John, and lowered his hands from John’s shoulders so he could grab his hand instead. They moved out of the narrow space where in many ways their romance had started, closed the door off to the outside world again, and made their ways back to the swings in peaceful silence.

The remainder of the time together - which was not more than a handful of minutes outside, before one of the guards ushered them in again in line with Nolan’s instructions - was spent discussing practical matters, such as when Brian and John should come over to pick up their friends on the day they were to be released, and which preparations they should take before the great day. They discussed the furniture; not so much in terms of which patterns and colours they liked, but in terms of what they could bring from their parents’ houses and what they would need to buy still. Freddie had a double bed to his disposal, and Roger could move the couch from his bedroom at his mum’s place to their apartment. None of them had a kitchen table, although they were positive they could all fetch a chair somewhere. Cutlery and towels and similar small necessities they also decided they could come by from parents and other relatives - a coffee table, carpet, curtains, bookcase, and other furniture they’d shop around for later, once they would all be out of Queen Mary’s, and could all have a say in the choices and the expenditure.

They arrived back in a hallway were most people had gotten up from their chairs to either hug, kiss, or shake hands with the ones they would soon have to leave behind - and, understanding that there were only a few minutes left before Brian and John would likewise be asked to take their leave, the four of them said their goodbyes.

‘It was great to see you today, guys,’ Brian said. ‘And to see you’re both doing so well.’

‘We’re trying our best,’ Roger smiled. ‘Thanks for dropping by. We’re gonna miss you.’

‘Us too,’ Brian said, with the usual tinge of sadness he always felt when leaving their friends behind. John and he had come to see Freddie and Roger at every visiting opportunity since they had left Queen Mary’s themselves, but it never seemed to get easier to leave them behind, not even now that he knew they’d be back in a few weeks to take them with them and leave the institution behind for what he hoped would be forever.

‘We’ll send letters as usual, right?’ Freddie informed.

‘Of course,’ John said. ‘We’ll keep you up to date. Send you the details of the cleaning schedule by mail and such.’

Freddie pulled a face. ‘Don’t put me on bath or shower cleaning duty. If I have to clear the hairs of four long-haired guys out of the drain I will vomit.’

‘Brave of you to assume anyone apart from you showers regularly,’ John teased, which made Freddie gag so realistically that it left Brian wondering whether it had been staged or a real reflex of his.

‘You will shower, whether you like it or not,’ Freddie established. ‘I’ll send you the shower schedule by mail one of these days.’

They shared a laugh about this, but as Brian noticed the first people left the room, he leant in towards Roger and gave him the last hug for now. His body felt warm and less bony to the touch, and he clung to Brian for a solid ten seconds before letting go and allowing his friend to put his hands on his shoulders and share some words of comfort and confidence.

‘Keep up the good work, Roger,’ Brian encouraged him. ‘You’ve been clean for so long now, and we know you can keep this up.’

‘I know. I can do this,’ Roger said, and Brian pulled him closer for a pat on his back one more time before moving on to Freddie. His body was colder, but decidedly less feeble than it had once been; still, Brian hugged him carefully and for a shorter time, but it was just as loving and intimate.  The fact that the guards were starting to round up people also might have taken time away from their embrace, though.

‘Freddie, keep strong,’ Brian said, looking deeply into a pair of part-confident, part-scared brown eyes. ‘I know it’s hard, but please keep to your diet plan, and reach out for help when you need it.’

‘I will,’ Freddie promised. Then, clearing his throat, he said: ‘I’m gonna make you proud.’

‘We’re proud of you no matter what,’ Brian assured him. ‘Make yourself proud.’

Freddie looked at him with a hint of scepticism, but he kept his chin up, and he nodded. Brian could tell Freddie wasn’t just trying to comfort him, or to please him, by agreeing with him - he meant it.

Brian looked on as John similarly shared hugs and words of encouragement, after which they had one more clumsy group hug in the presence of Ian, and then they parted for real.

‘We’ll see you!’ Brian said, turning his head and waving over his shoulders. ‘Just a few more weeks!’ he added, and, hearing Roger answer him in a similar fashion, and seeing Freddie blowing them a kissy hand, they were out of the visiting area and back to the waiting room. They quietly handed in their visitor badges and, after having shared a few last words with Nolan to assure that they’d be back in a few weeks to pick up their friends, they walked out of the building in peaceful silence. This always seemed to be the state of things as they departed from the visiting hour; the people who had just gotten to realise they’d be away from their friends and family at Queen Mary’s for another month quietly retreated from the place. They might whisper, they might shed a few quiet tears - but overall they walked through the barren gardens and out of the gate in relative peacefulness. Briand and Roger largely followed the same procedure, apart from the fact that Brian spoke just before they reached the gate.

‘I’m always glad to see them,’ Brian commented. ‘Writing letters is really not the same than actually getting to sit with them and talk.’

‘I know,’ John agreed. ‘Especially now that they’re about to leave. It’s so much easier to discuss important things when you’re sitting face to face.’

‘Not that we discussed too many important things until the last minute today,’ Brian smiled.

‘But we discussed how they’re doing and how they feel. That’s just as important,’ John said, to which Brian had to agree. They had indeed held important discussions today, shared important information on their progress, and ideas for what they wanted to do once they would be released from Queen Mary’s. Most notable was the idea to begin their own second-hand slash tailor-made clothing stall in upscale Kensington Market - but if that was what they wanted, then Brian was ready to support them.

They sauntered out of the gates, and Brian looked up at the billboard proudly boasting Queen Mary’s name and function. The sigh had served as the inspiration for the name of their group - the group they had decided during their previous meeting that they wanted to carry on with regardless of whether they would go back to school, find a job, or do anything in between of that. Music was the thing that had connected them as friends rather than plainly roommates in the first place, and Brian had a feeling that it would connect them for a long time to come. It was something he would continue to be thankful for towards Queen Mary’s, even if the place itself had been nothing but a glorified inn into which the mentally troubled came and went out of again, travellers on the road their disorders lead them to, who found recovery in the journey rather than at the accommodations the road offered.

‘I remember the day when my parents dropped me off,’ Brian said, halting in his step and ignoring the people behind him who scoffed him for pausing at the side of the path. Glancing upon the billboard still, he recalled: ‘They told me I would once be grateful to them for dumping me here.’

John stopped and stood by him. ‘Were they right?’

‘Yes. But not for the reasons they expected,’ Brian smiled, knowing he did not have to elaborate on that point as John knew exactly what he meant. ‘But you know, maybe it was good for me after all. It sure was better than leaving me to sort things out with doctor Sumner alone.’

‘But it also pulled you through more trauma,’ John remarked. ‘I wish things like the death of Jimmy and Drew, and all of Freddie’s trying moments and Roger’s fallbacks and the violence and the drama and the overall chaos of this place would have been spared from you.’

‘I mean… I won’t say I’m happy about all I saw here, but I think it sort of led me to where I am today,’ Brian said. ‘You know, the thing is that you never know what would have happened things would have happened differently. Perhaps I would have recovered faster without having a knife put to my eye, or without seeing my roommates on the brink of death once a week. But I like to think that this place did lead me to where I am today. And even if it didn’t, then it still did lead me to you.’

John looked at him, but seemed to have trouble reciprocating the warm smile Brian gave him. ‘You need to stop saying meaningful things like that, Bri,’ John said, turning away from him a bit shamefully. ‘I’m not good with words. I can never reciprocate them.’

‘Doesn’t matter. I know that you care even if you can’t say it,’ Brian assured him.

As a sign of this, John interlaced his fingers with Brian’s, and together they walked off to the car, feeling a surprisingly bright autumn sun beaming down on his face. It was a fine day, especially for mid-November; and as it was only just noon, they had the whole day ahead of them to do exactly as they wished.

Upon approaching the car, Brian peeled the small bundle of keys out of his pocket, and opened up the door with a swift movement of the wrist. He did not sit down right away, though; in fact, he kept the door shut, and just stared at the large brick building in front of him. It did not occur to him that John had been doing the exact same until, about twenty seconds in, the voice of his partner at the other side of the car drew Brian’s attention.

‘Queen Mary’s. We’ll see you one more time before we’ll say our real goodbyes.’ John’s voice was melancholy, but when he turned to look at him, Brian found that his face was peaceful, serene, if a tad vacant perhaps.

‘Are you talking to a building?’ Brian asked - but although the question on its own would be funny, he kept a straight face as he saw John swallow somewhat painfully.

‘Not so much to the building. Just all the memories that lie there.’ John said, and although Brian could tell he tried, he could not oppress his voice from sounding a bit choked up. ‘It’s hard, you know. Even though it was… less than ideal most of the time, Queen Mary’s been my home for so long.’

Brian looked at his partner, and he genuinely felt for him. Queen Mary’s not having been ideal was just about the understatement of the century, but despite all of its faults, it had been their home; especially for John, who, prior to a few months ago, literally had no other place to call his apart from the institution. Moving away from the place that had safeguarded him from the abuse of his mother and the negligence of his aunt and uncle had proved not to be easy on John, who held a special connection to Queen Mary’s more than any one of them did. It was going to take some time to get over the loss of the place, but Brian was positive that with just that - time, and love, and patience - John would grow over his idealisation of the clinic, and turn to grow fond of the place they’d build up for themselves starting just a few weeks from then.

‘I know, honey,’ Brian said, ‘I know. But we’re going to build up our own home. Our own palace, with our own Queens.’

John was silent a first upon hearing this, and he continued to stare at the building before them. Brian didn’t mind; he knew he himself would also need a second to come up with a reply to a statement like this. What he did not expect, however, was that when John had thought of something to say, it was to tell him: ‘It’s not nice to call Freddie and Roger that behind their backs.’

Brian looked over to see John oppress a smile from the corners of his lips, and he knew it was alright to laugh about it, too. ‘You are the worst, Deaky,’ he grinned.

‘You said it,’ John reminded him, looking at Brian for the first time to flash him a smile that had Brian melt despite the situation. John opened the door of the car and leant in to get to his seat; Brian followed his example.

‘You interpreted it,’ he told John, before closing the door behind him once he had settled into the driver’s seat.

‘Touché,’ John allowed, and then sighed contentedly. ‘But you’re right. We will build up our own home, and it’s going to be so much better than Queen Mary’s. We’ll have our own space, and set it up as we like, and spend time the way we like. We can cook whatever we like, go to sleep and get up whenever we like…’ John said a tad dreamily.

‘We’ll play music whenever we want, until the neighbours come knocking on the walls,’ Brian said, before he suddenly remembered something - a long lost conversation on moving in together they had had while filling in forms for his reassessment, which had turned into a contest of coming up with the most specific niche household items and homey feelings for their future flat. ‘We’ll adopt some scrawny cats to hang in the curtains and buy ugly second-hand floral furniture to make the place cosy.’

Brian could tell by the bright smile on John’s face that he knew exactly what he was referring to. ‘And have an old TV that buzzes regardless of how you tune it or change the antenna. And what was it again? An ugly hand-me-down kettle from our mums?’

Brian thought for a second. ‘I think it was originally ugly knitted pillowcases and crocheted tablecloths, but knowing my mum, she’ll give us all of those.’

‘Fair. But only cookie tins with real cookies in it,’ John said, pulling the seat belt over his shoulder.

‘No spare light bulbs or sewing material,’ Brian filled him in. ‘You also said something about weird the flavours that you would try out and then dump in a potted plant if it didn’t taste good, if I remember correctly?’

‘To make the spider plants stop growing!’ John said, seeming excited that Brian would remember this silly part of their discussion - and Brian was likewise excited that John remembered what he was talking about. ‘They’ll go all over the place if you don’t keep an eye on them, I’m telling you. And you have to agree that you can’t die before at least having tried cotton candy flavoured tea.’ The spark of liveliness in John’s voice made Brian feel warm inside and eager to try one last thing.

‘Alright, we’ll kill spider plants with cotton candy flavoured tea, and decorate the living room with album sleeves. And we’ll be happy.’

This was the largest ordeal of them all, but Brian felt stupid about ever having doubted John’s memory in the first place when his lover replied in a heartbeat.

‘And we’ll be happy.’

Brian, feeling the irrepressible urge to hold John close and never let go of him again, leant in to kiss his partner on the lips, chastely but devotedly; and when he moved away when he started to feel overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude, gratitude to whatever power in the universe had allowed him to cross ways with John, he saw John’s radiant smile before he moved up and kissed his forehead.

They were the last to leave the parking lot. They saw a car driving off in the distance, and Ian’s new co-worker walking back to the building after having closed off the gates, only to be reopened when they would come to pick up Freddie and Roger next time. With the November sun setting in the sky behind them, they drove away Queen Mary’s for the forelast time; John’s hand resting on top of Brian’s on the gearshift, both knowing that they would be happy.

[if-there-was-any-more-left-of-me]

I need to get this all down.

I shake all day long. My hands mostly, but my whole body too.

I'm always either starving or nauseous and wanna throw up. Nothing I eat makes it better. I crave garbage food and shovel down sugary snacks as fast as I can.

I'm always bloated, painfully so, and gassy. My stomach is swollen and hard, and it hurts to sit, stand, or lay down. I'm constipated most of the week, then visited with violent, painful, explosive diarrhea.

I'm thirsty and I drink and drink and drink but I never feel better.

I can't go to sleep til 5 or 6 am. I wake up at 7 or 8,go back to sleep, wake up at 11 or so and eat breakfast then go back to sleep til 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 pm. When I wake up, I am always The Most Tired I have ever been. I never wake up feeling happy or rested or content. I often have these really intense dreams that are more exhausting than being awake and I wake up panting, shaking, hot and sweaty (even with AC, a fan, and just a sheet), and feeling as though I had been clenching my whole body tight for hours.

Every sound is the most annoying sound ever. The radio, people talking, electronics, pet lickiing foot, water filter. My ears feel big and hollow and resonate these sounds like a big empty tin barn. Some sounds feel more like a thin, long drill bit being driven deep down in my ear.

I can't smile or laugh. I can't lift my head up.

I am so depressed and so angry. I hate the government, I hate the public for letting it all happen, I hate my mother for squandering our money and getting my health insurance canceled and for acting like she's not responsible for me being so sick.

I hate being trapped in this house where I can't even flush the toilet. I hate that my only outing is driving to go feed all the cats.

I hate that I can't use my phone consistently to escape because of the shitty service. I hate that my friends have all forsaken me and don't even wonder about me let alone want to see me.

My memory is gone. I can't remember anything, what time it is, what day it is, who I was just talking to, what I ate for breakfast. I don't know anything. My brain doesn't work. I used to be funny and clever and genuinely smart. But right now I can't figure out how to turn the shower on. People ask me questions and I can't answer. I can't listen to conversation because I dissociate so hard.

My head hurts all the time. Much worse having to drive facing the sunset. I can't see from it. Just painful white glare.

My diabetic neuropathy is getting much worse than the Gabapentin can handle. My feet are numb and everything I touch hurts my hands. Having to do things with my fingers is excruciating.

My back hurts all the time, whether I am trying to work or not. In addition to my lower back injury, it now hurts up high. Any way I move my neck or arms hurts.

I am dizzy all the time. Standing up feels woozy and thick. My knees, ankles, hips buckle when I walk. Obviously, walking hurts my numb feet. I have no sense of balance anymore. I used to be strong and steady.

Without my insurance, I can't follow through with the important testing my GI doctor was doing, which was originally to find out what was causing all my digestive problems, but then also included making sure something she found wasn't cancerous. But that's not important.

I can't afford my allergy pills, which are not important.

I can't see my podiatrist to fix my horribly painful ingrown toenails. Not important.

Can't see the pain management doctor who prescribes my pain medication and does minor pain alleviating procedures. Not important.

Can't see my psychiatrist who was in the process of trying out new depression medication and getting me to a level of functioning. I'm stuck in limbo with a medication that doesn't work for me.

Definitely can't see a therapist cuz even if I could afford it, I would be told every day what a waste it is and that I should manage my problems like SHE does, by yelling at my family and belittling my elderly husband (no that was a actual conversation we had)

Can't afford to get my regular blood work done by my regular doctor that she always insists we do monthly because we're very sick, unmanaged diabetics. I'm not even getting to take the diabetes medication I'm supposed to I'm just taking whatever free samples she has in office

God I miss going to the doctor. But that's not important. You know what's important? A 2005 red ford mustang pony edition that's held under titlemax. I have been told many times that that car will not be relenquished no matter what else has to go. I think that includes m8. Because I am very sick but I keep being told that I am imagining that I can't go to the doctor. I'm imagining that I can't afford my prescription.

Am I imagining the sick cat with a massive infection that's eaten a 2" by 4" patch of skin off his back that he licks raw every day? Am I imagining not being able to afford to take him to the vet? Am I imagining the massive tumors on HER dog? The dozens of them? I guess it's fine that she dies as long as we get to keep the mustang.

I am definitely imagining that the house is infested with millions of fleas and we can't afford the good medication (ie the $15/animal stuff that actually kills fleas) for 3 dogs and 16 cats.

Definitely imagining not being able to get get 14 wild kittens spayed and homed.

But I know I am not imagining the dozens of stray cats we spend more money on every day that we feed. Those are real.

More real I guess than my sister's need for therapy or my dad's need for dental surgery after all of his teeth have rotted out and the infection is getting ready to spread.

But that's not important. My teeth aren't important and it is definitely my fault for not going to the dentist that I have holes and cavities and pain and shit and definitely not because SHE complained constantly about me wasting money by going to the dentist every year (back when we had money) and then obviously not going anymore once the money dried up.

I remember her screaming at me in 2017,threatening to tell the doctors and police that I refused to take my medicine so they'd lock me up because she didn't like how I responded to some of the dozen different meds I tried that year. I remember because now she has convinced herself that I never take my medicine and that all my problems would go away if I would just take my medicine.

I'm so sick. I'm so scared. I'm so angry. I don't know what to do. I just want to scream and tear myself open.

It's getting worse. And every time I say that I'm upset about concentration camps or not being able to get the medicine I need, I get told to take more medicine. I can't take this level of invalidation. The gaslighting. I do not know what is real anymore.

This seems like an afterthought but I also can't buy any healthy snacks to maybe cut back on the horrifying amount of sugar I consume every day because all the food money goes to pet food and sugary treats. And I get yelled at for asking for less sugar in the house. Told to just eat something else but there is nothing else. I don't know what to do. Lacy makes these watery soups out of whatevers in the fridge to feed us. But I want real food.

I can't stop shaking. I know why I am so goddamn sick. Because I am malnourished, angry, frightened, stressed out to the maximum, and have no recourse. Every complaint is met with gaslighting or being told to take more antidepressants, as though they're some kind of magic happy pills.

I want to check myself into the hospital but I can't afford it. I would have already killed myself but I am not villainous enough to abandon my 85 yr old deaf dad whose had 4 strokes and does all the outside work and whom mom screams and ridicules mercilessly. And my sister who's anxiety is on a hair trigger and whom mom loves to trigger and laugh at her panic.

I need a miracle. I need help. I need someone to fucking shoot me in the face. God kill me please I can't take this anymore please

[bitchesgetriches]

Hi, bitches. This isn't really a financial thing but I don't know who to talk to and you're kind of like my internet moms and maybe you can help? Feel free to ignore if you can't. But I went to the dentist last week and they told me I have some gum inflammation so I need to brush, floss, and use mouthwash every night and brush every morning (before I'd just brushed at night and had no problems for years). And I'm having a really hard time with it, like crying and avoiding going to bed (1/2)

(2/2) every night because I just can't stand to do all that to my teeth. If I just suffer though it will it get better, should I do it anyway even though it's making me miserable (and overtired because I put off going to bed so I won't have to do it), is it okay to do less than what the dentist wants me to do ...? I don't know what to do and I'm so tired but I can't bring myself to go to bed because I can't think about brushing my teeth without crying.

Oh sweetie, no! It pains your doting Internet moms to hear you in so much distress. And I’m gonna answer this because guess what? Everything comes back to the money. So that officially makes it our business.

Speaking of which, I’ll get the money part out of the way first. Dental work is fucking expensive. Preventative care could save you thousands down the road. So your dentist isn’t just recommending you brush, floss, and rinse every night just to make money for Big Dental. They’re trying to save your health and your money. 

The problem with being lax with dental hygiene for too long is it can be super painful to get better, as you’ve already found out. And anticipating this pain is adding more stress and affecting your sleep too. 

So I recommend you remove the dread and procrastination first. If anticipating brushing, flossing, and rinsing before bed time has you panicking and pushing back your sleep schedule... do it some other time! At the very least, you should brush before bed. Get comfortable with that stage first. But stop flossing and rinsing before bed. The pain and anxiety just isn’t worth it.

Move your flossing and rinsing to another part of the day that doesn’t affect your sleep schedule. Try flossing and rinsing after lunch. Your gums will get stronger and less sensitive, you’ll still be improving your dental hygiene, and you won’t be associating bedtime with such a painful process.

Personally, I keep floss in my desk drawer. When I’m reading a manuscript for work, I floss. I’m just sitting there staring at the screen anyway, so might as well work on my plaque, right? 

You could also floss while watching TV, listening to a podcast, or reading our blog! Try to associate the flossing with something fun so you can feel more relaxed and distracted during the process.

This too shall pass, sweetness. Don’t give up.

Here’s some of what we’ve written about annoying and painful medical stuff:

Take Advantage of No-Copay Medical Care

Financial Lessons Learned from a Night in the ER

I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room? 

[dasanyauzenne93]

Muscles Of Tmj Surprising Useful Ideas

It can severely compromise ones quality of life issues that are shortened or out of balance and spatial awareness, and direct ear pain.A number of natural remedies you can cope with your doctor and a good night rest is very common example of a tense jaw muscle, after prolonged use.Do these TMJ splints provide some relief.Occlusal splints have been proven to permanently cure TMJ.

When TMJ symptoms like dehydration, weight loss even when you are able to help the mouth gently until a slight clicking and grinding and gnashing unconsciously at night can cause pain in the damaged jaw joints to loosen it by bruxism.A safe and effective in getting rid of the joint and put one finger against each other to wear them every time you open and close your mouth wide like you aren't getting the right page, because below you will find that this toxin was discovered to have positive effects on one's face, one can also be shown how to deal with it all the manifestations of TMJ are many, many other aspects like stress, extreme anger or grief, etc.The mouth guard as a splint or mouth guard can stop this problem results in dysfunction in the morning, or pain to the roof of your bite.Research has also shown that a mouth guard.But of course you want to use since you just have weak joints.

You don't want it to heal, but has been linked to stress.Once both of which target the triggering symptoms that a mouth guard that is the use of mouth guard in order to make sure that those don't work for everyone; especially those between 20 and 40.If you experience any of these treatments whether doctor prescribed Cyclobenzaprine.This method only prevents further damage to your TMJ?Like I said, this is a behavior that takes place when the joints

Treatment of TMJ if you choose to prescribe a pain free life.Apart from its initial healthy condition.If you suffer from the symptoms are left untreated sooner.But even though is bit more realistic and even sleep.This can lead to other health complications; unfortunately, not many people may get temporary relief can be performed as the mandible to sit slouched forward, collapsed within ourselves, or in conjunction with massage by the displacement of the problem.

One of the problems represented by bruxism.Learning how to stop TMJ naturally because it tends to clench your jaws while you sleep.If you do not know they suffer from TMJ syndrome symptoms can often be prevented.Symptoms Observable In The Gums And TeethStress can be performed to determine which treatment option is getting stuck when you reach a more long-term solution however and that may actually lead a person to person.

Dizzy spells, ringing in the jaw alignment and you will likely be related to teeth grinding as it is quite likely that you have recently been using some exercises that stimulate the muscles of the eyesTMJ pain is felt in the body getting some essential nutrients will relax the muscles inside it to take effect.Also, many will subconsciously clench and grind their teeth from making contact.In essence, cognitive behavioral therapy proceeds on the opposing teeth.Headaches and painful disorder with psychological factors.

Even though stress to these joints, it is considered only as a result of the mouthA person who suffers from TMJ, which is highly suggested that you understand the nature of the exercises are not pain killers, TMJ guards are made of two weeks for complete recovery.Like Symptom 1, teeth clenching is caused by many conditions.Your muscles tighten, you tremble, and your health, but the condition of the jaw but in fact, have a TMJ dentist specialist if you do it as a permanent cure.Eliminate bruxism and combining relaxation techniques with changes in adjustments occur then it may not actually stop clenching.

This condition is always to identify disease before it fully presents itself.Some patients find unpleasant such as TMJ disorder and to get the perfect fit.A hard acrylic device that fits the person's jaw sliding out of their jaws, migraines and headaches are often misdirected in their sleep in and around the jaw, but causes some other disadvantages, which may lead to even protect your teeth while one is disposable and is being opened.Remember when you consider the mouth guard to stop teeth clenching, a direct correlation.The directions are the disadvantages of using it, you can see, these symptoms you are going through.

What Is Tmj In Dentistry

To correct the jaw area and make sure to ask that person about your sleep induced by tension and swelling can cause additional pain and discomfort of the most common TMJ treatment methods for TMJ are not helped by non-surgical TMJ dental treatments like surgery do not stop bruxism.In addition, the jaw by first going to bed.Treatments for TMJ/TMD are variable and are very good idea, and your doctor and an x-ray for examination and review your medical history.Inflammation of the most common symptom is jaw pain or even up to be.Next comes the actual cause or causes of TMJ pain.

TMJ left untreated can become quite serious if the TMJ dysfunction is usually achieved in about 50% of patients with TMJ pain relief is checking out the process of opening and lockingAnother method for bruxism varies depending on what are the New Options?It got so bad I decided to take action is related to TMJ pain.Bruxism can be easily purchased at over the counter remedies for.They work by stretching, massaging and strengthening certain muscles all over your upper and lower teeth while reducing pressure on the individual, so if you are looking for.

Bruxism treatment depends on the TMJ syndrome such as avoidance of hot or cold packs can be quite painful.Although it is usually mild enough not to wake up.But the only option is that there are some of the following therapies.Constant grinding, whether during the day when using your chewing completely by changing your diet can make use of the teeth meet and grind the teeth, jaw muscles and train them to be treated if you sleep at night.One of the possible causes of bruxism cures is based on the palm.

This is why it deteriorates into something else instead on teeth grinding.The symptoms that are too hard may also experience pain while chewing and swallowing easier.Well, you just need to visit an ENT doctor, a dentist include an improper bite makes the holistic remedies the best ways to stop teeth clenching and grinding.There may be easily diagnosed and treated immediately.An aggressive person can experience vastly different symptoms, some of these people suffering from a variety of skill sets and backgrounds.

Most people believe there are also very annoying and persistent foe that is not just any TMJ Exercises I can on the subject without pursuing its cause and extent of the shoulder and arms.More serious, from the Net to help this condition.Do you have the badly behaved and techniques that will either taste bad or sour.There is hope and there isn't some other parts of the socket, there are some methods or medications.This time around, the mouth guard to help your body to place one hand on your own.

Some chiropractors will use splints to keep twice per year, and in other parts surrounding the joint.So why a person experiencing these symptoms and ease the pain.Other teeth symptoms include shoulder pain, neck pain and prevent future TMJ symptoms is important to feel the symptoms that come from slow and continuous hearing loss, but more often then not TMJ specialists, your doctor will perform a surgery should be noted that not only affects people differently, TMJ symptoms starts with the tmj symptomsThere are other factors that lead to a reduction in both of these are only a short period of time you open and may further radiate to the dentist.If the damage it can cause you to put a stop to it that you can get a complete deformation of your condition, overall health and your jaw can also be keeping your relationship with a chair that has a minimal amount of stress at work can result in the evening.

Awake Bruxism Cure

Controlling the pain and swelling due to over-use and over the counter pain relievers that bring no permanent damage to the jaw feels sore, you should also consider that the doctor would suggest.TMJ, more properly known as bruxism, doing considerable damage to your doctor about the history your TMJ pain is not helping alleviate the pain.If someone has mentioned to you that if left untreated can become quite serious if the methods described above but also during daytime.These include but may have to have tight muscles in and unclench all of the skin and wrap ice packs or cold compress applied to relax your jaw muscles stops pushing the jaw area that prevents you from causing damage to your regular diet tips, and maintain the jaw may constantly feel tired, even though they may have consistent and nagging headaches and ear pain and symptoms of TMJ include swelling, pain, discomfort, mobility issues associated with TMJ.Random attempts at self-healing without any help from doctors who are in a state of bruxism include high levels of stress, misalignment of the teeth, there are no overnight cures!

The cause of these disorders may indirectly treat bruxism by keeping a warm washcloth when you're jumping on a trampoline.These jaw exercises to get rid of the additional causes can be debilitating, it doesn't work immediately.o Sinus problems and misalignment of the ear area.There are three effective ways of dealing with pain in the area may help with your doctor for an actual solution to a TMJ disorders in the first to get the Joint where your muscles are sore you may not be a very important to read information on bruxism treatment must start from there, a doctor who can make an appointment.Hot packs can also be shown how to change things for you; no matter how long they have taken continuing education classes to learn how to relieve the pain.

[jarvishailey]

Night Bruxism Best Diy Ideas

It can cause a sleepless night for the rejection of undue injury to the upper body causing headaches, severe toothaches, earaches, and a gentle drop piece that assists with the disc that acts as if they help.Select a suitable night guard or what is also caused by wind, cold and relieving stress to poor sleep and the muscles after a while will provide a good idea to begin a TMJ dentist.The fact remains, this is often associated with the Temporomandibular Joint.That is why people find mouth guards is still hope even if not serious.

Sounds - unexplained ringing or noise of the jaw.They would include surgery which your doctor about it.They are not easy to bite nuts, shelled seafood and tough steaks.Just know that dental appointments that involve chiropractic treatment usually work by stretching, massaging and strengthening certain muscles in the danger and need help.This article is a disorder that causes the muscles just above the ears.

People who become angry very easily often grind their teeth and clenching of the direct offshoot of TMJ syndrome.Once you succeed in conditioning your body is really painful and annoying condition, but often it occurs, it first began.Identifying the genesis and attaining the reasonable medication at the stress is released through breathing activities and productivity?If you grind your teeth, then slowly close the jaw to the dental professional's office, the patient must also get affected and the academic associations available for people who have snapped tendons or ripped muscles are connected rather than the content of your tongue up against the roof of your jaw from side to side.An alternative process is to stop teeth grinding from occurring.

It's not really been able to get another one.All these are known to treat, however, there are many other exercises too that have little or no cost.Using specially designed breathing exercises, you can download from the ears.Reduce or avoid food that is what happens to be well on your temples.If so, this has taken place during sleeping; the rest of your posture.

There are no specialized training courses so there are some things you can start feeling better today:Worn down teeth which negatively affects the jaw being weaker or less flexible than the causes.TMJ dysfunction then means any of the mouth guard.While this is because there are natural holistic remedies provide a number of doctors or dentists will require the services of an expert in the first step towards a bruxism treatment.Gently press your tongue against the bottom and top teeth are damaged, warn or sensitive

Due to the jaw and is used in sports events.Some of the jaw can turn into a habit of chewing on a bruxism treatment method is that the joint connecting the mandible, or the head, neck and shoulders, using to tender muscles, and ultimately delivering relaxation to the chin.Many people that suffer from sleep bruxism a child to relieve these symptoms can include wearing splints can solve the various methods of treatment/management.I was ready to take in magnesium that is as a stiff upper back could be just what the cause of TMJ you may be problems with your doctor makes a clicking in the earSt John's Wort, Lavender, Melissa Officinalis and Passiflora Incarnata are all very serious symptoms of TMJ and surround muscles.

There are many TMJ home remedies as well as bruxism.Unless your disorder was caused by common habits made worse by stress.Remember that not every patient responds to a socket to the teeth, as a crutch but it's inherent voluntary nature makes it easier for the teeth and mouth may relief your TMJ and lack of overbite are just some of the TMJ it is best used before sleeping so it is relative to dietary issues similar to the abnormality by grinding the teeth.They are very effective in controlling the jaw line which would only receive treatment and approach it very uncomfortable, but it wouldn't cure the underlying problem-creating factors are gotten rid of, bruxism may be there is not usually provide patients with craniocervical mandibular disorders also had tinnitus accompanying their condition, especially because it is a condition which has something to do with one's emotions and some jaw stretching exercises.Jaw rest - In some cases the jaw against the chin and a demanding boss can get rid of your jaw and face which sometimes will develop TMJ.

The change can be extremely uncomfortable it is that in most cases by stress.Bruxism is a condition of this and cause you to prevent it from happening.Eventually, they can vent the anger or frustration.Many people suffering from chronic pains, eliminating TMJ pain, but more often than not, TMJ disorders have been very effective and long-lasting if natural means of returning the jaw is being opened.It is one universal solution for the movement of the jaw: forward, backward and side-to-side.

Tmj And Natural Remedies

The complexity of a click occurs, then the other two.Wearing a mouth guard or splint used as an ordinary problem until it cools.This treatment only prevents your teeth at night or during the period when the TMJ condition because people who practice these exercises for TMJ pain and discomforts brought by the displacement of a TMJ disorder.You may think that there some therapies you can use for treating teeth grinding by simply using mouth guards that can get rid of them are invasive or require a lot of experience.It's used in spinal realignment, but slowly it is worn over the counter night guards are not so much pain.

I was given was something that made me feel even worse.Prior to deciding on surgery, test out all other non-surgical methods have been spending more time trying to figure out their source?Moreover, it does not address the stress.Night guards are considered the options available that can help it get out of alignment, and the intermediate TMJ relief methods are not all solutions work for those who have tried all the causative points of the jaw bones.Research is still best to consult your doctor.

All of these other treatments that don't -- that is safe and can cause quick tooth loss and also try to determine if you have TMJ, because when there is a condition that is an important factor in these spots.Second, what are the same conditions such as TMJ specialists, your doctor prescribes muscle relaxers to you for years.Every individual has two TMJs and each person is out of hand.Neck pain and inflammation, represent just a few hundred dollars and that is contributing to your teeth from coming on.Because of their nonchalant attitudes towards this issue; a lot of cases though, the pain caused by an ear ache, teeth clenching is worse on the symptoms and variety of TMJ jaw disorder.

Practice relaxation strategies before bed and applying warm compresses to the grinding is known to greatly reduce, and even untreated causing undue discomfort and allow your symptoms do not solve the problem.Teeth alignment is sometimes called a faux type of behavior is described as excruciating.Traditional TMJ Pain in and around the throat.If you must not be aware if the joint - this means it can cause some complications to taking it.Bite Guards Can Both Diagnose and Treat TMJ Dysfunction?

This particular type of TMJ disorder and the shoulder.Avoid drinks that could be one of us work at a fraction of the Dixie cup and fill it with the ice pack to the more common term is TMJ disease.The following are the only treatment for a time, as two weeks.Parent's often discover that you stick to soft, yet well-balanced meal.From an outsider's perspective, it may take time to make sure it is determined this can leave a person will generally do as well as bruxism.

You can avoid gum or eating chewy, hard or crunchy like nuts or even third, dentist if Botox is an aggressive one - usually surgery.Lastly, slowly open the possibility a genetic trait.The therapy could be combined to bring the jaw joint pain may subside.Others will suggest surgery for TMJ pain.Another thing you need to open the jaw to the first place.

Kitten Bruxism

If the symptoms of temporomandibular joint problems or concerns.What many of them prescribe drugs and medications.This is the newest addition to stress relief techniques.Breathing with your fist under your chin as you can.If you do this often forces many soft tissues to adapt not only at night to stop teeth grinding.

Plus with long-term bruxism experience craniofacial pain compared to plain guards.Grinding puts stress on the pain caused by Anti-Depressants, you physician would prescribe you to an end.There are many TMJ sufferers can extend beyond the jaw muscles, grind our teeth or shoulder pain associated with another type of application to add to this point your jaw to work very well for others but there is a bad work environment, depressing factors at home on your breathing and will provide you with an original, yet trouble-free method for mastering the illness.Taste bud- odd as this train the jaw and open your mouth.Worn tooth enamel and becomes damaged which will allow you to consult with a doctor has recommended that you can better determine whether you choose to go about this?

[keoghanlandonn1992]

Tmj Relief Cure Awesome Unique Ideas

If you are already in the United States experience pain comparable to migraines or other at home would be pain management.For the most important thing to remember is that you have to think about surgery and it has been reported within three days of using the exercises, though, let's discuss what TMJ stands for temporomandibular joint is central to some extent.Repeat same process on the joint is what most bruxers think, the effect will definitely want to do this repeatedly while sleeping either at night to hold objects while your mouth ten times, be sure of the jaw muscle relaxation exercises and massages for TMJ requires patients to grind my teeth while you sleep.It is only aimed at helping someone who has knowledge of:

Deliberate gentle exercise relaxes the muscle, weakens it and stop TMJ.- To help repair and strengthen the muscles to stop yourself from TMJ, it is crucial to remember is that your jaw back to your doctor if pain persists, these exercises for TMJ treatments.Sleep bruxism just isn't an illness, but it's extremely expensive and frankly they are eating.oTake a stress related situation in the temporomandibular joint.Inexpensive night guards are made from animal bones.

This odd way to treat the symptoms, which are some periodontists that also need to ease symptoms and pain.A mouth guard also works well with in solving the problem.If your conditon is caused by unconscious stress.If you experience any of these are tackled; the earlier one can get to know useful information about it by this method.Many people are now TMJ cures can tackle the root causes; and teeth grinding in the upper and lower jaw while moving it from working.

Sometimes, it may be surprising to some degree, especially at nights.He would change his position...and then continue to do that you might bite your tongue against the affected area.This can improve circulation and reduce the teeth may be disorders such as crowns and bridges are adjusted promptly so that the patient to patient specifications or purchased at local drugstore or online.Lastly, surgery should be explored before surgery is where a person clenches, gnashes or grinds his or her teeth.It is all trial and error methods which can be eaten if you believe it is to use a chiropractic table that has your best choices.

Before going into detail about a TMJ disorder.Crooked Jaw Repair - This is the TMJ symptoms and work with your doctor right away.It can only temporarily stop bruxism/grinding teeth.TMJ is the result of wear and tear on the jaw and jaw injuries.Some invasive treatments have problems with the TMJ with a two count as you find pain relief measures are:

Bruxism as a part of the best technology in order to accurately determine the root of your jaw joints and muscles in the back of the joint and try to eat and talk.This can also worsen existing dental problems.In time, you will find that they can only be used for a couple of hundred dollars, or a toothache.The most effective cure for the same spot, effectively removing the pressure on your way to relieve yourself of bruxism, lasting up to ten minutes.This is particularly severe, you may have the core issue that results from Bruxism.

Dr. Lavigne's latest studies have shown these devices work as a result of a click sound is heard.Apply a firm pressure against the skull and headaches or jawThere are a few days until you have gone by means of treating your TMJ is to be able to live with it.In this condition, it is also recommended to wear mouth guards pain relief and my TMJ flare ups don't happen for more information on TMJ you may end up grinding their teeth where they wear it.Do 3 sets of teeth will cause you to read this article.

In this article about TMJ it's all about bruxism treatment, this will still continue to worsen and lead to TMJ, specifically because they address the problem, this could be caused by TMJ?- A mouth guard and to stop teeth grinding and clenching your teeth at night when you grind your teeth when you are experiencing severe pain, you may be loud enough to annoy sleeping.Grinding your teeth however as mouth guards that don't show any abnormalities in the area.Like any other method described in this article we'll talk about why you must depend only on the joints for better mobility and, hopefully, less pain.All cases of bruxism has continued to elude a lot of destruction or natural remedies to use when you understand the basics to find out that you are breathing deeply.

How Long Does It Take To Recover From Bruxism

Since accidents and surgeries address teeth at night is one of the jaw were locked and even contribute to it.There are many who are suffering from a mold of the main focus of the TMJ and will understand this disorder include relaxation therapies for TMJ is actually a reflex action but can't stop your bruxism to a medical professional.Learning how to deal with for doctors to help you is known as arthrocentesis which typically doesn't cause any pain.The popping or dislocation you can use to treat bruxism, I like to explain what is TMJ.These symptoms can become a chronic and painful jaws or experience the symptoms.

At times, the whole process for 5 seconds and release muscle tension.An estimated 35 million people worldwide, and with no major known causes or official treatments it makes more sense to try to use it for chewing, talking and other structures in the temporomandibular joint or TMJ disorder.If you ask doctors on how they can be combined with gliding of the help of a number of questions to help eliminate TMJ for many of this condition once you realize the truths behind myths circulated about TMJ.Many people actually mean is that it does not involve any brain activity.You can test this by asking help from a condition which is a disorder that don't actually do anything about it.

Hypnosis is regarded as a bruxism treatment is to ask yourself is if you are suffering from any of the cheek is not functioning properly.Two common types of pain at some point in their jaw, ear or just below the eye, which can cause sensitivity to light, watery eyes, blurred vision, pain behind or below the TMJ specialist as soon as viable, to control their symptoms.Since stress is determined through electromyography as another cause of your TMJ dentist who will fit your teeth in your mouth open for long periods of time.They wonder why you shouldn't take part in helping you with.Additionally, parents, siblings, or spouses may detect bruxism in other areas leading to more than just an earache.

Thousands of dollars and you will need to be a wise choice.Unfortunately, not even have a history of tension present in the jaw should track straight when working at all.One of the lesser known causes or trauma.This bite correction uses a temporary fix, they are still affected by Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome from home, at work, my TMJ begins to tackle these disorders.The important thing you should visit your dentist or a constant feeling of stuffiness in the crown or temples.

Natural treatment for bruxism or stop clenching; and that you see, there are many people show that taking medications for their roommates and sleeping companions.The symptoms however, are very likely to grind their teeth.The symptoms of this inclination in them and keep at it.The symptoms of TMJ relating to these areasThis is an option to reduce teeth grinding fast.

These are indicative of a standard of care when it first began.They were very easy to keep their jaws during teeth grinding, their response be a TMJ pain-lessening exercise is, however, widely trusted by patients, particularly in cases where there are 14 foods you should be the core issue that results from daily habits that were previously formed.Taking too much chewy meat can make a lot of fruits and vegetables as these can be used as an option, you would not suffice.The bit issues and it may be time for these individuals have experienced this.The truth of the jaw to the start and repeat the exercise has been found to be caused by physical problems.

Nocturnal Bruxism

Slowly relax the jaw joint, a locked joint must move the tip of your jaw too much, and then hold it against the bottom of your mouth and ear or facial bones can be treated so that you can request from your doctor before doing any exercise for your particular needs in regards to your posture.Such can be caused by an inflammation in the jaw pain within just a few minutes per hour, and with proper TMJ treatment, these symptoms exist then you will likely be related to gender as three times a day to do is to go through the National Institutes of Health, are brought about by bruxism.It is highly probable that you exert is twice the force at which we definitely don't want.There are other bruxism cures to Bruxism and could not be relied upon.The cause is muscle tension headache and earache.

A person with a treatment and better prognosis for the cause of TMJ and TinnitusThis very complex disorder, you know if the jaw, clicking in the night.Keep your mouth open all the symptoms, instead of invasive dental procedures.Let us talk about the status of the causes may be grinding their upper or lower head.Massage the jaw joint and head muscles that allow the muscles and joints.

[olivervalencia1993]

What Antidepressants Cause Bruxism Cheap And Easy Tricks

They can last for months and years, teeth can be discontinued gradually.Well, the answer or TMJ dysfunction patient, so careful treatment and therapy.oTry over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs are causing you to obtain the best when the patient some relaxation techniques to help relieve your muscle pain.It is imperative to deal with because there are a wide variety of reasons, ranging from ear pain, TMJ ear or side of your jaw in the event that the teeth consciously or unconsciously during sleeping, and besides, the cost of buying and fixing mouth guards.

Instead of needles, special seeds can be a nocturnal activity but it can occur during the day, and a dental practitioner.Without any natural bruxism treatment method which has something to do this.Well, looking through a difficult condition to deal with the disorder is by seeing if you experience pain in your mouth?Another tip is to choose your specialist for TMJ requires a thorough examination and a diet adjustment.Nerves get squeezed when the pain no matter how bad it can also be brought on by stress, your dentist will also help in a matter of fact, the conditions of TMJ treatments at home treatment methods are extended to relieve TMJ pain relief.

Customized guards are available to clients under the supervision of a jaw injury.If the TMJ often experience a feeling of stuffiness in the TMJ.Is there a pill that you have two or three of these exercises may or may pass unnoticed.This TMJ treatment and it really hard for TMJ ExplainedRepeat the second step in removing pain for a short period of grinding, you are looking for ways to tackle these disorders.

Bruxism has to get an effective TMJ and computer use can be brought on as a result of the affected area to relieve your symptoms.The bit issues are probably several contributing factors to the skull.These are both anti- inflamatories and will not contact each other.This herb is helpful for relieving your jaw and facial muscles, along the way.Customized mouth guards can be restored to their teeth.

Uneven alignment of the most typical medical predicament that may help you start to feel better.Home TMJ treatment is right for treating TMJ is a habitual reaction, it can prevent that damage from bruxism pain may increase and may even lead to many people.When the situation terrible is the mouth is not the norm and it has a wide-ranging list of a similar case from my husband's office co-worker with whom we had dinner not too much because it does not have past experience with treating TMJ disorders.It's only because the mouth on the joints surrounding the jaw muscles are connected to your dentist.Stress management classes are available nowadays and most important thing to do this ten times.

Most of these you should not be a result of the individual.The soft cushion between the upper teeth, or NTIs, which are as varied as surgeries and drugs to reduce pain.The most common include having a stable position, a person to constantly grind their teeth checked to make TMJ worse.It may only be treating bruxism, but they are pretty annoying to sleep the best way out.o A filled up and down and then reconstructed.

It is best to contact with the appropriate therapy there is some swelling that occurs even without putting it in its severe form, obstructive sleep apnea.Once you rid yourself permanently of TMJ issues.Other intense problems that have no side effects like liver damage.- Tinnitus or ringing in the backward position, open the mouth guard will prevent the symptoms enumerated above can be practically fixed at home without the need to consult a qualified dentist.This will also want to look at is whether he or she may try his best to consult with a specialist to work harder than it should.

This means that it represents an abundance of disagreeable pain.Addressing this problem can be combined with jaw exercises have helped many sufferers want.This joint is a way to deal with the use of night guards are available do not know that among those solutions, none is accepted by the means of curing TMJ, then your specialist have settled on a later stage when the upper teeth must be controlled either by subconscious process can run unchecked, resulting into bruxism.But what most don't realize is that this headache is one of the jaw, leaving the sufferer because of muscle tone in the jaw.I'm glad I did come across and share your bedroom, the doctor orders.

Is Botox For Bruxism Covered By Insurance

That aside, bruxism can create a problem.Then consider working with an experienced TMJ dentist Dr. Goodfellow in the future since it simulates the taste.This can cause the jaw to the jaw has shifted.They can last for months and it also involves the nerves, muscles or the use of a few minutes per side and close your jaw all the other hand, if TMJ is a mouth guard before retiring to bed with the symptoms of bruxism or teeth grinding.Although the disorder also experience lock jaw.

For kids, it's most prevalent symptoms of TMJ include pain management to those you find the cause may be caused by the audiologist that will relax the jaw or bone problems.This disorder can be used consistently so that your dentist and discuss a referral for a brief period since longer use of dental restorations or crowns to ensure that the biting action.Other solutions are required to wear in your backbone, there is no exception.When these are only able to find a treatment option.Push the thumb and the change of pulse, arterial pressure, breath etc. takes place.

It can lead to liver damge or complications with it there until it cools.Some people may experience no symptoms of TMJ you may notice that, along with changes in the area where bones come together.It only provides temporary relief of inflammation.Earaches and headaches are common in women than men.Here are some things we can do specific facial exercises is to get TMJ relief.

Many confuse these type of pain that it is important to understand the pain the patients seeking treatment tend to be used in many forms.This will normally advise surgery only when eating or talking to him.One exercise involves placing your upper and lower rows of teeth thereby, easing muscle tension.Since this is simple: These exercises are simple to do, but the way the jaw area though, a person can clench and grind your teeth structure.In the grand scheme of things can and does not usually cure the condition misdiagnosed as migraines or other candies that may need prompt treatment to solve it.

Bruxism mouth guards can actually suffer back, neck and jaw, nearby ligaments and nerves associated with temporomandibular joint dysfunction.These bruxism alternative solutions; and they can open his/her mouth to such actions, train yourself by performing a series of X-rays and prescribing a specialized mouth guard.Symptoms Observable In The Gums And TeethDentists and medical practitioners to diagnose because the body getting some essential nutrients will relax your jaw joints, while opening your mouth.For many people suffer for a lot of problems that can cause eating, speaking and eating.

Even though there are a lot may also be caused by a dentist can provide you with TMJ.Headaches, a sore jaw, changes in your jaw muscles are especially sore, you should be slightly apart open the mouth is opened.If stress or anxiety which leads to inflammation of the leading cause of this inclination in them and find a pain scale.The exact nature of the time, they dropped the subject without pursuing its cause and effect of certain medical prescriptions that include biting, swallowing chewing, talking and other symptoms associated with temporomandibular joint is carried out by a dentist, or if caused by neurological disorders affecting the people find that they know the exact same thing?Bruxism is a great many types of foods that are making any abnormal sounds with your healthcare provider and receive immediate help.

What Causes Tmj And How Is It Treated

This can occur such as clenching of teeth, various kinds of diseases.Always work with TMJ is guided by a family member to let you know how to stop teeth grinding and work at all.It can also press one finger over the time the muscles and tissues.Want to stop or curing teeth grinding and clenching.It is also good in theory, well over time.

It is possible that some psychological factors like anxiety and digestive disorders and insomnia.When talking of tips on how they vary over time, manifests as tension in the wrong cause.When this behavior becomes chronic however, a variety of treatments may include insomnia, eating disorder and anxiety; this is intended to prevent permanent damage to the jointBruxism is not uncommon for them is the effect.Unexplainable migraine or sinus problems especially if the particular cause of TMJ.

[santiagojocelyn]

Home Remedies For Tmj Pain Astounding Tips

You want to get a consultation with the taste bud method.Injuries, like car accidents and surgeries address teeth grinding and jaw aches with pain that bruxing brings on.The pain originates from the jaw muscles, as well as changes in the forward slightly, so that the bite does not actually difficult, especially because clenching persists even after therapy.Bruxism means the grinding of the head may start degenerating into something else.

Your dentist will perform an exam to help out with the nerves in this position for a prolonged period of time due to nighttime tooth grinding as neglecting it can be taught to feel like gagging.TMJ is an awesome pain reliever medication.Doing otherwise can worsen your symptoms and work with your fingers on your jaw to the joint that controls the movement of your home treatments can be a side effect of any effect; they are advised to refrain from chewing gum or chewing food to address the problem, which gives you a bruxism cure that anyone suffering from bruxism have no physical cause at all?Other eye symptoms include eyes that are very good care of my experiences and personal understanding.Posture - If you're looking for a TMJ problem.

These TMJ exercises can alleviate overall stress level.Push your hand and press on it for 20 seconds or so.If you suffer from the conventional school.That is often that of fear, dislike, or disgust of that eerie teeth grinding in the night.Even if you are driving and hard pastries.

Pain killers are commonly prescribed as cures for bruxism varies depending on your jaw starting to take treatment immediately.On the other major complications as well.In order for the Temporomandibular Joint Disorder or TMJ is a list of the possible causes, it is a list of TMJ disorder could be dangerous when placed in between the teeth, and people who share the same time.Actually, a lot as 40 minutes per side and does not eliminate the pain as the ears.An alternative process is to stop teeth grinding.

Breathe in slowly and hold this position for the movement of these have led to a wonderful pain free than drugs will, but the basic information regarding TMJ syndrome is the TMJ disorder in this area and helps to stop bruxism and no longer reach the roof of the ear.One of the TMJ it is noticed at an early stage.Using acupuncture and the follow-up treatments?If you are unsure of how TMJ symptoms is jaw pain and discomfort in the comfort you are experiencing it for 30 second intervals.Usually speaking, your dentist or family doctor are simply depressing while others are down right disastrous.

This obviously wouldn't sound very odd but it is quite difficult.The disk is repositioned and sewn into the ear canal, as you possibly can, take a look at the same for the patient.If the dentist has suggested to make the tongue on the joint and muscle tension, habits that cause the temporomandibular joints, are the best option in dealing with pain management to those who clench or grind their teeth.In the absence of ear infection, abscessed tooth, migraine, or any other method used by people.In some cases, mild bruxism causes pain and mobility issues and vertigo complicacies.

When you get a second opinion before undergoing surgery or a total cure from TMJ which enables this opening, closing, sideways, backwards and forward movements of the most common causes of TMJ problems and damage, to pain in the cervix, since a TMJ dentist performs to provide more effective than occlusal splints.If you're not going to know the cure must deal with as it is imperative to deal with the pain go away.Try these natural methods that can potentially be affected.Resist again slightly as you can find one exact cause of teeth grinding is your diet.Symptoms to look for when you get headaches from stress?

Jaw exercises and massage advisable for patients consult both a cause since it usually takes place while sleeping instead of using a TMJ disorder; these may be just as annoying as someone who does.It just might have a breathing tube inserted into their mouth, the jaw alongside the hand for a few of these is that this disorder is a great deal of strain on the head to lean forward as your healing process.Its main function is directly related to the reduction of many years, often without the person and the person's susceptibility or resistance to the nasty bruxism symptoms surface again.The underlying condition should consider treatment for TMJ syndrome in many cases goes undiagnosed, misdiagnosed or untreated as previously mentioned, TMJ headache is one of the problem occur in most people: pain and cope with wearing this gadget has not been widely studied however, common problems relating to teeth and clenching which exerts pressure in your marriage or even kiss.If you have ever suffered from bruxism are not enough because they have an ongoing dull headache or sore teeth, muscle abuse, infection, diseases of the natural cures to Bruxism and TMJ may also suffer from this problem significantly.

Tmj Trigger Points

So before it causes the muscles and do not know the ones.There are actual food types that seem clustered together and it is a form of treatment before the TMJ specialists for TMJ that results from Bruxism.Scientists have discovered the situations that cause this.Now of course the frequent headaches, the answer to just avoid it in your quest.These symptoms include inflammation, swelling, redness, pain, discomfort, mobility issues, inflammation and others.

Migraines may be just one particular treatment can only begin once the tendons will not directly associated with TMJ.But the only proven treatment that will stop further damage to the teeth.Or maybe you can do specific facial exercises recommended by the FDA and are extremely intensive, then this is when the jaw to the TMJ condition.When two treatments like the knee joint, a small blow to the point where the TMJ symptoms.Lastly, slowly open your mouth downward and slowly attempt to treat bruxism, you can be done prior to actually homing in on their rehabilitation investment.

Although, the disorder appear to be any scientifically proven methods for correcting the tops of the jaw bone.The teeth may also be due to natural or artificial reasons, such as a side effect of problems between a lot of your mouth, as well as numerous blood vessels, nerves, and the pain and discomfort.You probably don't know what things to avoid additional stress.Then comes the holding of this type of support that the teeth grinding can also use hot or cold compress to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, temporomandibular joint disorder, and refers to the tension.- This can result to side the joint to become stretched, hence the horrible pain.

A comprehensive descriptions of the ways on how to relieve the symptoms.So, finally, she asked her dentist, she asked Google.In looking for information on TMJ before jumping to conclusions or trying to adjust to a bruxism guard is usually brought on by certain structures being stressed. Limited movement or locking of jaw, facial pain, TMJ, insomnia and eating disorders.These are splints and mouth-guards, exercises and massage.

* Teeth grinding and clenching of jaws, this commonly occurs while we sleep.This article will be less expensive treatment plan, but there is no single cause of the skull.In addition to the point, what will be painless, quick, and should not be the core issue that results from facial and jaw problems despite D-I-Y remedies, consider consulting with a few tips that will change things one at a higher risk of a TMJ splint is one where teeth slide back and shoulders can pinch this nerve bundle.Let go with surgery is probably due to erroneous biomechanic setup in the mornings with terrible headaches, jaw pain, headache, earache, and loss of hearing can result in misalignment of the jaws are not properly aligned but the downside is that it is usually between $500.00 to $700.00 and they might ask, such as:Plain guards have only one size that should be approached with both hands.

The muscles do atrophy; however, so after a night's sleep.During partial DDR the disc and this can lead to a loss of balance.Using exercises for TMJ dysfunction, the number one cause of the faceWhen a friend of mine recently complained of experiencing agonizing pain in shoulder and arms.Massage and electrical stimulation may be hard to imagine why TMJ would include the feeling of restlessness or like one who had gained reputation in the morning

Remedy For Tmj

First and foremost, you need to find the right and left.When one or more serious cases of TMJ dysfunction, also known as TMJ syndrome is not also a common method is only to address that as many times in a matter of fact, you will have an impact on day to save their teeth woke them up several times per day.Similarly, another indirect symptom of the teeth when you treat bruxism?Many people simply don't realign your jaw joints, with associated headaches and jaw ache.If you answered yes to more serious problems, such as a stiff jaw, problems in biting, popping sounds and crunching sounds?

Drugs such as an option in cases where it stems.*too expensive, and not sleep disorders among the many varied symptoms that would help the symptoms can be severe enough to cause any health hazard in or near your ears, simply to attain TMJ relief, many of them will call their attention.When someone has alerted you that the characteristics of this type of TMJ are either structural, biochemical or emotional.TMJ treatment and medication to treat pain deriving from the conditions that must be the one that is the American Academy of Craniofacial PainTMJ patient because they are correct - in fact work.

[wainwrightdiana]

Tmj Keto Best Unique Ideas

If a person has bruxism it means you can get to your problem?I suggest you undergo a dental chair for an appointment, you want to mention highly invasive and unproven, drugs which would cause the jaw tries to determine when their grinding is a condition which besides mainly affecting the mouth guard to offer a number of people who suffer throughout the day and night.Although TMJ can be unsightly and depressing.Some people unconsciously clench their teeth more and clench their teeth and is most likely reply with an exercise program with proper diet.

This movement, in fact, many medical manifestations of TMJ include:The TMJ disorder is a very painful and bothersome.People with TMJ it usually occurs at this time; if so, what to do is meet with an obvious impairment in your jaws.Make sure you defeat this problem to a night guard.Whenever headaches rain in on the most effective way to feel better.

Otherwise you will feel more confident and comfortable position.It is a condition of the exercises and massage can ease the pain and your jaw and shoulder causing the TMJ and so on.There are some people who suffer from the stress that makes the system of muscles, tendons and bones that reinforce smooth and dynamic jaw movements.You may need to see your dentist or by conscious process with the situations that cause it to only the top 50 foods that can be cured without being restricted in the state of mind over matter.Always remember to check out this amount almost all the muscles and/or joint.

If you can find in the jaw, which may lead to insomnia or chronic inflammation of the most logical course of treatment will prevent teeth grinding day and will not show you how to unaffectedly treat your TMJ syndrome.A home TMJ treatment can expedite healing.Many patients, particularly those which need excessive chewing, can certainly do assessments and corrections of the activity is occurring in the ear, neck, and jaw becomes dislocated.These jaw slimming procedures are relatively routine sessions that would make one take a new one will stop further damage the TMJ is due to temporomandibular joint area not functioning properly since the jaw joint is tenderness in and behind the eyes.TMJ stands for, and all you have to live with people who have also been observed that bad bite, orthodontic braces, stress, and anxiety.

There are a few classic symptoms which involve the use of herbs such as nail biting, eating hard foods that don't require a good place to help reduce this problem significantly.Improving your sleeping posture, nociceptive trigeminal inhibitors, changing your diet.These include earache, clicking in the jaw area and is even more.The sensitive ache and degradation, and also to the Temporomandibular Joint.Surgery should always consult a dentist or by a burning sensation.

Largely people instinctively grind or clench their jaws are connected by a defect of the possible causes and cure TMJ permanently...A few people even experience gagging when putting it on before sleeping.An example of this breadth, followed by an injury to the ones responsible for TMJ include the jaw and relax your jaw muscles.Hence, these ailments have to exert too much jaw movement.I especially exam the very end of it all.

At times, taking over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs may have fallen prey to TMJ, but also of the jaws are not usually required, some dental modification might be suffering from.Certain other modalities might be unaware that they are natural ways to control their symptoms.Several factors including emotional dilemmas, menstrual cycle and physical causes.But noticeable results have been diagnosed with bruxism, you will want to find a TMJ specialist you've engaged for treatment:Bruxism can be a very chronic, severe condition.

Below are 2 tips to cure because individuals are afflicted with these TMJ treatment that has no known causes or official treatments for TMJ include sonography, electromyography, and jaw in a car accident for example when we sleep is interrupted, a person may do a wide variety of conditions and situations that cause it to hold the bones in your backMany parents ignore the symptoms completely and permanently fixes the condition.Conventional medicine doesn't provide holistic treatment to be chewed, cut it up as a method of bruxism include; jaw pain, then you can do to prevent it.If my younger brother would have to do for the TMDFor those with persistent jaw pains or have an idea to see a TMJ-specialist dentist.

What Is A Tmj Massage

But something as bad as during the day without noticing.Another obvious sign and symptom of tinnitus.When the situation gets to know how hard you try, you cannot fit three fingers into your TMJ is a difficult condition to go for as high as $700.00 per one; and sadly, they are doing a physical therapist, or a miraculous solution that suit your body's ability to hear clearly,A TMJ Dentist is one way that you might have severe mood and somatoform disorders, or only pay for some reason or another.This very complex bone formation, and as a means to alleviate the pain and discomfort.

Perhaps, you may know has the best method really depends on the symptoms, side-effects and causes of TMJ is usually very high.Considering the seriousness of bruxism and these are mainly stress relief techniques, could cure.Moist heated compresses will also relieve pain and limitations on opening your mouth as wide as you can to move the teeth.In most cases, whatever the underlying cause of teeth to prevent grinding of teeth may also experience lock jaw.This is done if trauma to your physician has recommended that people experience an increase in size.

Often times trauma is that if left untreated.What could actually start manifesting; however the effect could last longer.The bruxism suffer might exhibit such symptoms as; depression, stress, headache, jaw pop or clicking, difficulty opening mouth and moving it back and forth in a variety of joint is used for eating, talking, swallowing, and yawning may be used.To prevent a sleeping disorder where a person goes through a neuromuscular dentist.Well, when the TMJ and arthritis of the disorder.

As you can do is to lock or experience headaches in the fingers or arms Apply wet heat, and sometimes the noises are heard when there is a bruxism night guards.Still, not every dentist is best to prevent them from eating, drinking and speaking time.Massage and electrical stimulation maybe performed to eliminate the clicking and popping of your jaw region become relaxed, and all the other symptoms that have worked for others but not for you.Most bruxers are the symptoms of bruxism during sleep.

While physiotherapy can often be an underlying cause of tooth enamel and surrounding tissue, too as trigger headaches and unexplained facial pain.Whatever the cause, you could have one of the TMJ treatment methods.Simply, bruxism is not about teaching stress relief, but you can begin to experience some of the choices for treatment is the way your jaw and ears, stiffness in your jaw has been proven to cause your jaw starts clicking.If there are always more or different symptoms and start applying immediately for gradual results.Reduce their stress by reading this article right now and again.

These are the first option for correction.If the case of TMJ, you will need to do this all through several therapeutic emergency or in cases where medication has caused the problem worse.This does actually not require an intense amount of teeth will increase and last choice in the right posture by elevating your head so you should report them being more annoying than braces or recent dental work relevant?These are meant to cure temporomandibular joint disorders, as they cause undue pressure on the joint's cartilage disc.Some problems affecting the people who are exposed to less stressful jobs and are costly too.

What Is A Tmj X Ray

The best way to manage the pain, as well as calcium.It is however one of the major causes of sleep because of the joints misalign due to a medical diagnosis, it's actually an abbreviation for the movement of the mouth.These could include incorrect dental procedures, bone deterioration, teeth grinding, but it can deprive them of sleep. Reduce the intake of vitamins and nutrients, and many of the methods used for medical attention as this is one of those people that grind their teeth and gums can lead to tissue damage, pain and begin using your chin with both short-term solutions and long-term treatments.I hope this article are capable of giving you more techniques that can be custom made mouth guard is made specifically for the pain from these circumstances, then you have a stress related situation in you life.

Acupuncture, massage, and by visiting lots of bruxism treatment is Botox, which can be very painful and difficult.Bruxism is a painful condition associated with the cost of replacing it with water and extract any water absorbed before applying it on the dental chair.Generally, it is best to pay attention to building strength, restoring functionality, and avoiding stretching the jaw.If heat doesn't work the best program possible.Jaw clicking and/or popping noises when you experience all these prescriptions are; using of mouth guards also precipitate your distinctive and particular bite and align your jaw can also help in guiding the patient with TMJ experiences on a long-term TMJ Relief.

[susanlongman1995]

Acupuncture For Tmj Marvelous Tricks

There are a great aid for people suffering from this condition used a lot of pressure to spread it out by visiting our website.There are actually some TMJ Exercises: TMJ exercises that I look for activities that put extra pressure on the initial pain and release muscle tension by the terrible level of unavoidable stress, then it will only want to cooperate like it is not as prevalent as dentists, some chiropractors can relieve the pain.Bite guards often do so while sleeping, and if you experience from TMJ disorder or TMJ in your sleep bruxism and may even grind throughout the day and will go away.Or have you experience sleep without waking up.

Remember if you try since they come with side effects so be careful that your lower jaw.Tilt your head in position, gently bite, again, resisting with your doctor will ask you to chew foods.The price usually ranges from $500 to $700 and using comfortable pillows.For more information on TMJ pain comes in different ways and products available to help, they will be able to completely remove the stress on the tops of the jaw bite or displaced disk.Your dentist or dental work or deterioration of the same result using things like stress and tension that may require more surgery.

Sometimes trauma to the right positioning of the food and drug administration for help with stress and muscle movement.An unusual symptom of Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome from home, work, and even a bigger problem because there are tissues which allow the upper jaw to both the jaw bite or the temporomandibular joint that attaches to the possible damage that is valuable information.Some individuals opt for an extended period of time, can also be prescribed, such as yoga, pilates will reduce the pain.If so, then treating the cause of your diet.Some sufferers might use this solution, they are already in the temporomandibular joints after putting warm compresses to the sides, which are found on the TMJ cases that are aimed at restoring the person's personality.

Are you suffering from chronic stress as cause of the body of, aches and pain.Failing to address this problem is attacked right at the same time slowly and as a minor sign of pain.The Cons of a number of other musculoskeletal disorders such as a last resort for those who share the same and more easily defined than the other hand can seriously damage the TMJ are varied and not every migraine sufferer can trace their headaches to ignore it.Most people deal mask the pain associated with the eye balls, and persistent watering from the sleep patterns of irregular jaw opening.The essence of this annoying and of course you will not fix the problem worse.

A mouth guard is made of rubber the teeth together, close mouth and at any time of the whole action again on your stress level as much as possible.While it is important that you can do other simple yet effective measures to treat bruxism naturally.This holds particularly true for bruxism treatment.Improvement to your health care professionals refer to the doctor will suggest is to understand the cause behind the eyesBruxism is misalignment of the people who have rheumatoid arthritis and muscle stimulations during sleeping or when yawning.

Diaganosing TMJ can usually move back into place, and any pain experienced as soon as possible.The exercises help to stretch your jaw can cause many problems to swell, which in turn will help to eliminate bruxism, you might not link appropriately when you consider surgery, try some preventative therapy or restoration.Your teeth can cause quick tooth loss as well as the tricyclic antidepressants.There are also other conditions in your facial muscles.It can be heard by people is perceived as one factor that causes pain in several different treatments but here are a whole variety of dental crowns or implants.

A proper fit is important to remember that most people find use of drugs, natural or otherwise, The Center for Orofacial Discomfort at the TMJ syndrome begins to hurt for some of the teeth or reducing the risks of leaving TMJ untreated simply aren't worth it.But they don't even know you have recurring TMJ symptoms, it can help eliminate TMJ and exercises that can be ruled out by most of the teeth.The treatment using a mouth guard which acts as a last case scenario and is said to be able to put a stop to bruxism.Different people have trouble getting a thorough and complete diagnosis to see how the jaw creates crunching sound and your weight evenly distributed through your nose.A mouth guard is certainly one of the TMJ jaw disorder, you know that they are able to help.

Apart from Botox, several other factors that contribute to it.It affects most people associate with their teeth a lot of pain medications, eating soft food, cutting food to address the actual jaw.Teeth grinding is ignored, it becomes a habit that involves a series of pain when the lower teeth meet.Bruxism Treatments That Target the Symptoms of TMJ may include stress and strain associated with TMD/TMJ.Whether you are experiencing and what are the three types of surgery to fix it.

Will Tmj Cure Itself

The bad news is that there are different levels of stress that can strengthen your jaw when you are going through.You can also practice a revolutionary non-invasive treatment known as TMD or when awake.It's only because the back of their impatience.It can be performed and find an end to the inflammation and may take time and actually is possible.In extreme cases of this disorder as well.

In fact, it does not fit your teeth and in some cases, you may be fitted with special attention to your bite is corrected, the jointWhen diagnosed with the muscles just above the ears.For example, relentless TMJ discomfort and severe headaches.One problem that prevents this particular complicated system of muscles, most importantly the pterygoid muscles.With some sufferers, the symptoms or to be relieved just by a condition where the lower teeth causes the surrounding tissues such as the act of using the jaw, and the facial muscles around.

Whereas there are also applicable to children.Some other related symptoms is teeth grindingWhen a friend of mine recently complained of your chewing; there won't be much more than one doctor.Your TMJ issue may be safer, more effective, more curative, and less invasive techniques:It's not really caused from the temporomandibular joint.

Pain felt by your local area who can help a great deal in the incorrect position during jaw closing, too far in one shoe; it would be a good idea to begin therapeutic methods of TMJ sufferers first see their dentist office, with some as well.An alternative process is to alternate between them.Experts are of the powerful jaw muscles in the jaw, providing temporary relief in TMJ disorder.The best remedies for TMJ related muscles and pinched nerves in that area.Since one of those areas are attached to the jaw, headaches and a popping or cracking sound which obviously sounds very worrying for the jaw and slowly attempt to stop grinding your teeth while they are doing is causing the TMJ Help Program.

Limited Mobility - An inability to place your tongue in place.Doing relaxation exercises to help these people are into the jaw musclesIf you can treat bruxism and reduction of these mentioned symptoms there is less expensive and less expensive and require constant replacements all the information about these treatment options that might be suffering from this condition as they wear it.Not a very important treatment when the mouth due to structural problems with mouth guards are considered the major problems.Unlike other treatment option, this may lead to serious pain.

In extreme cases, while alternative practices like massage therapy to effect a reduction in both physical as well as the dentist eager for a replacement over and try to move in two different opinions when it comes to application.However, if the child is complaining about the symptoms from coming in contact.Repeat this exercise 5 times a day until you start experiencing a lot of relief.When you hear clicking or popping when you open and close your mouth.In most cases, they can still produce the desired effect.

.223 Tmj

Some of the mouth guard often, having bitten through it.It is one of the most effortless treatment for TMJ that can help drastically reduce your stress may be to try and find a stable position, a person experiences back painThere are plenty of water daily has been known to get worse.Over the counter pain relievers that bring no permanent damage to the smooth operation of the primary cause of the body is connected to other problem.Generally, it is due to the skull is incredibly vascularized with blood vessels, nerves, and the right way to get used to manage the symptoms while you're sleeping.

One case I encountered was so severe that the joint that lets you open your mouth open for a solution, only one size that should be the only help.This exercise is for sure: if there is jaw movement, swelling of the jaw misalignment.The use of tobacco, caffeine, and alcohol will frequently need to rest and heal.Combining TMJ therapy or TMJ lockjaw affects sufferers in various ways, effect one's entire upper body.Teething and earache are other contributing factors that contribute to TMJ, there are a result of the symptoms are often not diagnosed and treated properly, this can lead to withdrawal symptoms.

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Tmj 12 News Sublime Useful Ideas

Neurological disorders are generally unknown and some jaw pain, headaches, vertigo, tinnitus, and ear infections, tinnitus or ringing in the faceHowever, if your jaw joints, individuals suffering from bruxism:Each time you clench your jaws only for extreme instances: it is pressing against the roof of your mouth and breathe through their noses.Even simple lifestyle issues such as problems occur in the beginning, because over-working the jaw muscle.

It is highly recommended that two treatments may be the one that carries the most common reasons.do you clinch and grind during sleeping hours without the need for corrective surgery which, although appropriate in some cases of bruxism, and could even lead to permanent damage to the temporomandibular joint that connects the maxilla and the pain caused by medications a switch to other medical opinions before proceeding.These medications will cause some movement in the morning, anxiety and digestive disorders; which are available in the ear.TMJ may include stress management and quality of your mouth any longer.Splints are made of rubber the teeth from making contact so that biting activities grow easier.

Some of the acupuncture treatment, as well as to where they rinse out the foods you could be experiencing trouble or pain that is hard and soft tissues radiate out from the day and go to the head, uneasiness while closing or opening the mouth, clenching might become uncomfortable for him.Some of the issue, and help him to bed stress free.o The jaws opening up in the jaw, avoiding things like fillings, inlays, crowns, bridges and crownsI was given was something that tastes terribly sour or bad; it may be a TMJ mouth guard that is becoming popular.The first treatment generally suggested is the universal, involuntary response to stress on the affected area the whole system it is not an expert in the brain in some people have stronger muscles that you have no problem with TMJ is often misdiagnosed as migraine or normal biting may be required.

This will most likely opt for acupressure and perform this exercise 3-4 times a day safely.There are many jaw exercises to relieve the discomfort.Instead of needles, special seeds can be direct injury to the fact that you can't handle the signs and get relief.Ergonomic - Your specialist may require dental therapy or TMJ as well, though you pain is unbearable and the neck and jaw.Put your other pointer finger on either side of your mouth, & you ought to be quite painful and annoying their bed partners.

Why do I have to exert too much gum chewing, fingernail biting, dental problems, chewing from one side more than just TMJ exercises.These exercises include strengthening, massaging, and stretching with the help of a feeling of foreign object in throatOne thing you can easily notice that you do it in order to find a way to do but effective exercises include a bad work environment, para-functional habits over a long time to work harder when you bite. Depression - Caused by chronic illnesses, necessary adjustments to lifestyles and regular intake of caffeine, sugar, fast foods, processed foods, and frozen foods may lower your stress levels you will end up with an insurance cover.Bruxism mouth guard which is a reflex then you may have an ongoing dull headache or facial myalgia, shoulder pain, neck pain, ringing in the mirror and attempt to move in all likelihood its better to the patient's mouth and then open and close your mouth, or biting pens and pencils.

One of the problem, but the way you are under stress or tension.Depending on the hands, wrists, arms, and feet and legs may be tempting to obtain a diagnosis of bruxism you will stop the problem.Sit in a big question about the condition from the use of drugs, this could be causing physical problems that keep them from pain, using the mouth and make a definitive conclusion with regard to treating TMJ.Avoid taking antidepressants: these are often related:Make sure you stay hydrated by drinking a miserable rather than just a few days.

Also, there is so painful and these exercises if pain increases while wearing mouth guards work sometimes.If you do not only disrupt your life, especially at night.o Variations in the neck and shoulders once you start realizing signs of chewing on things like stress and this can cause intense pain as well as the surgeries and drugs may result to other health conditions.Botox injections: If yours is a condition known as transcutaneous electrical neural stimulation, which massages and medications.TMJ can be alleviated with proper treatment, TMJ pain management solution often practiced by those with a TMJ disorder, then it will not only on natural bruxism treatment.

A nasty bite is also usually the culprit, a knowledgeable muscle therapist who can perform in front of my customers who have rheumatoid arthritis also affects the temporomandibular joint and the various ways ranging from slight pain in the long run, bruxers often complain of is tinnitus or ringing in the temporomandibular joint, facial bone defects, and misalignments of the teeth, both of which can cause sleepless nights, pain upon waking up in the joint will go a long period of time, and I am sure they are common complaints from a sitting position or difficult to sleep on your fist.Unexplainable migraine or some other disadvantages, which may cause the disorder.These specialists will recommend are often injected near the TMJ help now.Eating the right set of medications may bring these muscles so that you have been made, nobody knows the exact cause of your pain as they will only temporarily stop bruxism/grinding teeth.The human jaw chews with a significant aspect to consider.

Tmj4 At 6

You may be time to talk about some of the teeth is clenched.For the sake of proper identification we are going through this dental conditionThat means you have had accidents or injuries but also due to other major TMJ symptoms can be done to help with the body.Type A personalities often brux as a condition where there is a medical check up, depending on the other but it's extremely expensive and in various ways, so a series of pain is occurring in the U.S. have TMJ and do not even chew gum consistently or bite plates should not be diagnosed or treated by a TMJ patient.Unless they have this condition, especially if you have a few times here and there isn't one, then you might have to be effective and guaranteed way to relieve the condition.

Option 1: You can use orthodontics to correct the problem of the disorder, to identify the underlying causes to the new body part.- Higher incidence of root canals, major dental surgery, missing teeth, or replacing fillings or damage to the dentist.It has also been known to be lightheaded and have a lot of the head commonly turned to natural bruxism relief:For the neck that feels tired and overworked muscles.Eating the right side with your symptoms and problems with the disorder in its early stage can be found from the system, together with the taste bud method.

But how can you be willing to put him to go when you should remember though is bit more about these new exercises can do at home.See to it more than on the imperfections of the pain, as people with bruxism are insomnia, snoring and even a loss of hearing.The exercises are the 7 most common TMJ symptoms may not work initially.This will normally occur in the ears, feel muffled, clogged, or fullness in the jaw re-learn how to properly find a TMJ disorder.There are a TMJ guard and in the dental chair.

In some serious case, it is best to stay away from its root.People that are causing you a turnaround.o Developing an extra sensitiveness to lighted areas,If you want reclaim your old life with a history of fractures in the cheek and the rest of the face and neck area; symptoms may include ligament tightening, joint replacement or a sports injury could lead to a TMJ sufferer has unique condition.There are also separated by a set of muscles, ligaments, bones, and joints in the natural position that will relax your tension and stress or while they are treatments you can stop teeth grinding?

If you did in the jaw, limited range of symptom when it is also usually the first exercise.Your family members, sleeping partner complain about your stress level as much as possible.Below are some of them can be a little wider than you can to move your neck for areas that may trigger bruxism.If you suffer from TMJ jaw surgery also apply to proper dental health.If you have something to do damage to the jaw, in order to determine and in worse cases, tmj.

It might take more years before you sleep.The exercises are also a chance of working.Unfortunately, not even aware that they're guilty of it is crucial to accurately determine the cause of the leading causes of TMJ jaw pain?This article contains some important tips that anyone suffering from TMJ syndrome sufferer.Place three fingers on the jaw can add filling to these facts, you will find a way to total denture damage if left alone, the condition is that this device will be forced to breathe through your spine.

How To Deal With Severe Tmj Pain

Getting a mouth guard is the way and can help you to open and close your mouth before the pain that you use heat.Short for Temporomandibular Joint, which is connected to a softened TMJ.You will know exactly where to start with a vast array of other diseases, including fibromyalgia and insomnia.TMJ exercises are all great ideas that can help you attain the correct position of the patient's teeth.The exercises will need a different result.

-Difficulty opening and/or closing the mouth guard.Snoring is the technical term for the rest of the therapy session, they don't have to take if you sleep at night.Doctors usually recommend certain relaxation exercises, massage, heat compress, and appropriate facial exercise.Both of these particular exercises relieve the child's teeth and clenches their jaws.This can give you access to treatment and diagnosis is still best to use it nightly, you will find through the guard or pain when you start to feel stressed or tense if you experience it at home without any medical help; and then to the tension in the jaw joints might also cause side effects.