#it’s reasonable how others are attracted to him but am I?? The very confused aroace who has zero understanding of what qualifies as crush??

[hplonesomeart]

@cookiemedo Sorry it took me an embarrassingly long time to properly respond to your lil tag inquiry. Containing my doodles in neatly formatted boxes is uh…definitely not my strong-suit as you’ve probably figured out by now lol. But I felt like your ask warranted some doodles, so here ya go!

Anyways that bowtie shall become my prized souvenir—you best believe I’m gonna wear it proudly. Look out Puzzles I’m coming for your style and then some /j

Would

(go to one of his theatrical broadway-wannabe concerts or perhaps a late night gameshow comedy hour sketch performance. I’m not too picky I’d be willing to pay money just to see him perform anything period)

Yea I felt like doing something silly in order to break away from the dread of finals week coming up. What can I say? I’m a professional procrastinator. But man oh man it was a good call this time around—I mean just look as this scrumptious masterpiece right here. Time well spent for sure. Genuinely I believe to have cooked with it chat /j

This is a version without the added stars by the way. And the second one is obviously just raw image reference/the original “bereal concert meme” source. I was very tempted to put Puzzles in that same exact outfit—however I decided it would be overly time consuming to make two separate versions. Maybe once finals are over I’ll be able to do that :)

[supercalime]

No one asked but I have a take haha.

I have zero problem with buck and eddie being an item, the biggest problem I have is their stans acting the way they are now with the current storyline with tommy.

I mean, I hate to break it to the b*ddie st*ns but you can think your friends are hot and like, not want to pursue them, whether you realize you’re queer or not. The fans are undermining so much of the current storyline that it makes me sad.

Im as aroace as one can be, but also I have eyes lol. I see hot/attractive people, I of course can admit that they are hot/attractive. It doesn’t mean that I want to be with them specifically sexually or romantically.

Also, figuring out your sexuality is confusing and weird. I definitely thought I had a crush on a friend solely because they were a person I got along with and spent a lot of time with and thought that was what I was supposed to do (by the time I thought I was allo).

What I mean is that it’s not always black and white when it comes to what attraction is.

Another thing, and this is pure speculation on my part: the actors are VERY aware of b*ddie and know that it’s one of the biggest reasons people keep watching the show, so they might keep on stirring the pot a bit in the interviews because they know it can create enough buzz for the show to trend and make the network/producers/investors keep renewing it so they can keep their jobs for as long as possible.

Im not saying b*ddie fans are delusional or anything like that but I am really disappointed how many of them (or at least a loud minority) is treating the canon ship as if it’s a stepping stone for another that has yet to be fully confirmed on screen. Sure there are signs in retrospect, but like I said, you can think someone is attractive without wanting to be with them.

This whole thing of buck having always been in love with eddie irks me a bit as it falls in a trope I don’t personally like (someone sticking around because they are pining over their friend the whole time and the friendship is a stepping stone to romance). I mean, if b*ddie happens and it’s done well, I’m all for it. What I really don’t want to happen is the trope I mentioned above. If it’s meant to happen, the best way in my opinion is for the two guys to develop those feelings with time, not it being a realization that they were in love the whole time. Heck, there are dcoms that did friends to lovers quite decently in the past and it wasn’t a “it has always been youuu” situation.

In conclusion, the only thing we gotta take is what is confirmed on screen, in canon. If we are supposed to listen to anyone talking about ships and storyline is Tim Menear and the other writers. And what has been confirmed so far by Tim is that Buck was jealous of Eddie being with Tommy because he was attracted to Tommy without realizing it. In canon so far, that’s what is happening and you have to accept that. The story is about Buck coming to terms with his bisexuality and him and Tommy being in a romantic relationship.

[lakunalaika]

[‼️TW: This post is not sexual content itself however it talks about asexuality and thus also discusses sex.‼️]

Before pride month ends I want to talk about Transformers characters that are on the aroace spectrum!!

I want to clarify that since Cybertonians don't reproduce sexually that makes them all asexual in cannon!

...However the fandom still has a lot of different interpretations and headcannons. Some of these include procreation while others are robots being sexual for the sake of "fun" rather than biology. I personally feel VERY uncomfortable with the idea of sexual reproduction in transformers but fandom is fandom and I am well aware of how it ignores the cannon so this list is made with that in mind.

As for the aromantic part of this post....

Sadly none of those are actually cannon since the creators haven't said anything about it and it's never said out loud in the media these characters are from HOWEVER I feel like most of these are very heavily implied. If you're confused about labels please look them up!

Sorry this post only contains three characters, I'm writing this literally last minute before going to the airport lol. I feel like there are maybe some more that I've missed so you're welcome to comment or reblog if you want to add to the list!

-

-

Shockwave: aromantic, asexual, could be aplatonic in some continuities.

I HAD to start with him. Speaks for itself really, if you're in the fandom you're probably familiar with how little emotion Shockwave expresses in general. Sadly though most people either see him as a completely emotionless monster or make him the super ooc :( He has no interest in sex or romance and some versions of him do not care for platonic bonds either.

The fandom sadly does not understand this, I'm not completely against him being shipped with other characters I just wish it was written properly and with his sexual/romantic orientation in mind. I feel like there's some interesting queer platonic lab partner shipping potential here but again this fandom is terrible at not sexualising him for some reason.

He does show care for others in SOME continuities, in Cyberverse we see that he used to be friends with Wheeljack and possibly some other characters. He does have emotions, even in other shows/media, we see him get visibly angry in TFP and Earthspark. So just saying that he doesn't feel anything is a straight up lie. He follows logic although we do see him make non logical choices when influenced by emotions, it's rare but it has happened.

I'm planning to make more content about him and being aroace spec soon. I want to show people that just because you don't feel forms of attraction or love towards others doesn't mean you're completely heartless. And yes I know an extremely stereotypical evil robot probably isn't the best character to use to prove a point like this but I just need people to stop mischaracterising him.

-

-

Shadowstriker: aromantic, asexual.

[most of this is refering to her in Cyberverse, thought I do mention IDW briefly]

What is it with clearly aroace female characters, usually villains, and being called masc lesbians? No offence to lesbians but please y'all let us have some representation. Sorry pooks she doesn't want a girl, she doesn't want anyone actually. Which doesn't mean she doesn't value friendship, just look at how she interacts with Soundwave and Lazerbeak! That's found family if I've ever seen it!

I think she's someone who struggles a lot with emotions and intimacy just in general, though we do actually see her emotions slipping through the "mask" more towards the end of the show, even being happy [thought it was quite bittersweet] and part of a group hug in the last episode. Well done her for actually accepting physical touch that isn't punching someone in the face! She's a very untrusting character who tends to assume the worst in everyone and is really aggressive for most of the show. She has absolutely no interest in romance or sex and is probably apothisexual/apothiromantic. But as previously stated I think platonic love is really important to her. She's the type of person who would kill for her found family, in fact considering she's a Decepticon she probably has.

She's one of those extremely interesting and emotionally complex characters and yet somehow she's always overlooked. I see people talking about wanting more well written female characters and HERE SHE IS! Honestly I'd recommend watching Cyberverse even if you're just doing it for her, it's worth it. I could write a whole essay all about her. Can y'all tell she's my favourite? Because she is.

As for shipping I do like the idea of her being in a queer platonic ship with Flamewar and Slipstream in the IDW comics they're in, though again, I don't think people know how to write qp relationships...

-

-

TFP Soundwave: demiromantic, asexual.

This one is only specific to one continuity and that's Transformers Prime. Not saying other versions aren't on the spectrum, I have a quite couple headcannons, though I feel they might be a bit ooc/self indulgent so I'm not including them since I'm trying to keep this list as "likely to be cannon" as I can.

In the show he doesn't speak and doesn't really have a face so he doesn't really express himself a lot. Though he still definitely shows emotion, just, differently I guess? He is uninterested in sex, I think he could be in a romantic relationship but it would have to be someone he's already emotionally attached to. Platonic love is extremely important to him but specifically his cassettes, they're his family. Others however.... I feel like he doesn't really care for a lot of the characters in the show but then again he doesn't show emotions much so he could just be hiding it.

-

-

[lalaloobzy]

Random aspec fictional character HCs

Matthew Cuthbert (Anne With an E)

Asexual + aromantic

Lived his whole life unmarried like his sister but, unlike Marilla, never had any relationships in the past. Doesn't reciprocate Jeannie's feelings and tells her his love for his adopted daughter (Anne) is the only love he has room for. Was TERRIFIED when Anne tried to set him up with Jeannie.

*(this is specific to AWAE but I think it can apply to book Matthew as well)

Selah Summers (Selah and the Spades)

Asexual + aromantic

Tbh this one might be canon (or at least heavily implied). Never has been in a relationship. Admits to Paloma that she's just never been interested in anyone in a romantic or sexual way.

Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

Asexual + aromantic

Just doesn't seem remotely interested in romance or sex. Gets grossed out/ annoyed when people kiss in front of him.

*(this is specific to the anime, idk about the manga or live action adaptation)

**(I am not caught up on the anime, this may turn out to be incorrect)

Willie Jack Sampson (Reservation Dogs)

Asexual + aromantic

Never had a love interest or showed attraction in the show (to the best of my knowledge. If she did, I missed it). Also, THIS OUTFIT SPECIFICALLY. Her hoodie is aroace colors and her socks look like a mix of the asexual flag and the aromantic flag.

Lucy Wells (Harlots)

Grey asexual/ greysexual (+possibly aromantic? Maybe demiromantic? I haven't decided yet)

Born into prostitution but HATES sex. Avoids it as much as she can and by the last season finds a way to do her job without having to have sex. The reason I said grey ace is because she DOES seem sexually attracted to Fallon after some time of being with him (I think? I was a little confused about how she felt tbh).

Birdy (Birdy)

Asexual + demiromantic

Everyone in his life thinks it's weird that he's so interested in birds and not girls. Admits to Al he doesn't see the appeal of sex at all. Very reluctant to go to prom with Doris and had no idea what to do when she parked the car and offered him sex. I can see him developing romantic feelings after close friendship (like with Al) which is why I think he's demiromantic.

Bilbo AND Frodo Baggins (The Hobbit/ The Lord of the Rings)

Both asexual (+ maybe demiromantic, though I can also see Bilbo as aro)

Both remained bachelors all their lives. Bilbo lived alone and later with Frodo who was like an adopted son. Frodo lives for a long time with Sam and Sam's wife Rosie. I personally think that Sam and Frodo are in a romantic relationship, while Sam and Rosie are in a sexual relationship. Frodo seems content with this arrangement which is why I believe he's ace.

Ted Buckland (Scrubs)

Asexual

Simply because of the part where Carla says "I don't want any MAN filming me giving birth unless he's completely asexual" and then Ted walks in with a camera and Carla smiles and says "oh hi Ted!". (I think this was a poorly-aged joke about him being "ugly" more than anything but I'm still claiming it). Also when he sings the duet with Gooch and Gooch says "I want to screw you" while Ted says "I want to kiss you.

Fabian Rutter (House of Anubis)

Asexual

He's nerdy and into space (I know this is a stereotype but representation is scarce I take anything I can get... you get it right). Also his relationship with Nina is very innocent and I can't see him developing sexual attraction even when he becomes an adult.

Dirk Gently and Bart Curlish (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Dirk- Asexual

Bart- Aromantic

Neither of them have love interests in the show (although Bart/Ken may have been implied) so this is just how I felt about the characters personally. I think Dirk definitely had a crush on Todd and is gay but I don't think he gets sexual attraction. Bart is the opposite. I can see her developing sexual attractions and feelings but being repulsed by kissing/ dating etc.

*(this is specific to DGHDA, idk about any other versions of these characters)

Anybody feel free to add thoughts and your personal aspec character hcs <3

[zombeats]

LGBTQ+ BSD HEADCANONS!!!

(im using "any pronouns" for he/she/they + neos to make it easier for me cause i usually dont know whether "any pronouns" includes neos or not.

i also put some xenogenders in so if you dont know one or are curious, look them up!! theyre super cool! i tried to use some that are somewhat known to make them easier to find but xenogenders are kinda hard to find in general so)

(also im probably spelling names wrong PLS FORGIVE ME IF I AM im tired and idk how to spell 😕😕)

quick guide for anyone confused!!!

masc terms = masculine terms (i.e boyfriend, bro, dude, brother)

fem terms = feminine terms (i.e girlfriend, sister, wife)

neu terms = neutral terms (i.e partner, sibling, spouse, significant other)

all or any terms = fem, masc, + neu terms (i.e partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, spouse)

format-

name: gender - pronouns - terms - sexuality

reason why i think this and/or little hc about it

ADA

Dazai: bigender (nb + male) - he/they/xe - masc + neu terms - bi + ace

he had a lot of gender crises while in the PM and eventually realized that he could be both nonbinary and male. chuuya pretended to be really irritated with all the pronoun and term changes but was very supportive and patient

Kunikida: trans man - he/him - masc + neu terms - gay + demisexual

he was very nervous about teaching at first because he didnt know if the students would know if he was trans or not but ended up "passing" really well and no one knew until he decided to tell them and then all the queer kids went to him for help/advice

atsushi: cis male - he/xe - masc terms - bi

was very nervous abt coming out and repressed his attraction to men until he joined the ADA and felt safe enough to accept who he was and came out

yosano: bigender (nonbinary and female) - she/they - fem + neu terms - lesbian ace

didnt realize she was queer until she met ranpo and he suggested she might be. after that, he helped her try pronouns and terms until they found what fit. as a way of saying thanks, she did his nails and helped him through his gender crisis

ranpo: bigender (male and female) - he/she/they - any terms - bi demiromantic ace

didnt realize he was bigender until yosano did his nails and had a gender crisis. it took him a week to figure it out and hes still embarrassed about it

fukuzawa: trans man - he/they - masc terms - aroace

never felt interested in romantic or sexual relationships and didnt realize that it wasnt "normal" until people started dating eachother and talking about sex

jun'ichirō: cis man - he/him - masc terms - straight demiromantic asexual

was super confused when his sister kept getting crushes on guys and talked about dating them when they barely knew eachother. when he tried to look up why that was a thing, he came across the labels demiromantic and asexual and realized it applied to him

kenji: cis man - he/she/they - any terms - unlabeled

doesnt care what people refer to them as, they know their own gender and thats all that matter to him. also does not care for labels, he likes who he likes

kyouka: demigirl - she/they - fem + neu terms - bi

had no time to explore her identity while in the PM so they only discovered themself when they joined the ADA. dazai was actually the one to help her find the labels and pronouns that fit her

naomi: trans woman - she/her - fem terms - pan

she insisted for jun'ichirō to call her a girl at a young age and it scared him at first. after looking it up, he realized she was trans and waited until middle school to help her find a name for herself. when she reached high school, he then hunted down an ability user who could change someone's appearance for help because they couldn't afford hormones and surgery

kirako: cis woman - she/ze - fem terms - bi

she found neopronouns when she was in middle school and experimented for months before finding ze/zir and realized how much she liked them. she didn't tell anyone about it because ze was embarrassed but then finally felt safe enough with naomi to talk about it

THE GUILD

fitzgerald: cis male - he/they - masc terms - gay

had a long talk with every member about how he wouldn't tolerate discrimination in the guild. it was kinda awkward since everyone there was queer.

POE!!: genderfluid (female, male, agender) - he/she/ve/xe - any terms - uranic demisexual

uses karl to let others know how hes feeling (karl likes being dressed up he gave consent)!! he puts a bow on karl when xe feels feminine, a tie when ve feels masculine, and a little sweater when she feels like neither!! ranpo thinks it's adorable. also genderfluid poe is canon

melville: cis male - he/him - masc terms - gay

also did the "no discrimination tolerated" speech but it was 10x more awkward

louisa: demigirl - she/they/sol - fem + neu terms - pan

talks with poe about neos a lot!! has fun making up new ones although sol doesn't use them

lovecraft: genderqueer- they/voi - neu terms - aroace

likes trying out new neos although they never seem to fit void for long

james: cis male - he/him - masc terms - unlabeled

he feels very lonely being the only unlabeled person in the group but none of them make fun of him or say anything rude and always try to include him without insinuating/accidentally using lables for him

steinbeck: demiboy - he/cloud - neu terms - gay

jokingly makes fun of neos a lot, will kill someone who actually does

montgomery: trans girl - she/her - fem terms - bi

will constantly refer to herself in third person when shes feeling dysphoric so that the others know and try to help (for example, "hey, am i not the strongest girl in the group?")

margaret: trans woman - she/her - fem terms - pan ace

loves hyping herself up (as she should) and always makes sure to hype up other trans people and compliments them a lot

mark: trans man - he/him - masc terms - bi

sees lucy as a little sister and always helps her when shes feeling dysphoric. loves to buy her cute dresses and does her hair a lot

hawthorne: nonbinary - he/they - neu terms - gay

loves browsing queer forums and is super active in the community. always helps answer questions anyone has and loves educating people about gender and sexuality

PM

ryunosuke: bigender (male + female) - she/he/it - fem + masc terms - uranic

only told gin and chuuya about it because he didn't feel safe enough to tell dazai. she was only able to tell him about it after chuuya told it dazai was also queer (WITH PERMISSION). IM A SHE/HER RYUU TRUTHER OK IT JUST FITS SO WELL

gin: genderqueer/apagender - any/all - any terms - lesbian

they never felt weird when people used he/him pronouns on them or used male terms. talked to chuuya about it and after a long discussion, they came to the conclusion that they just did not care what people used for them. told ryuu right after so she would stop getting mad at people for using the "wrong" pronouns/terms.

chuuya: genderfluid (male + nonbinary) - he/ve/it/nix - any terms - uranic ace

the "elder queer" amongst the PM. everyone goes to it for advice. nix actually never had a realization moment, he just always switched between feeling like a man and feeling somewhere in between. the only confusion it had was what to call this, and ve eventually found the label for it.

higuchi: astrumgender - she/star/sol/moon/xe - neu terms - pan

had no idea how to describe sol's gender until xe found a xenogender masterlist on the internet. she found it interesting and kept trying to analyze what star's gender felt like when moon saw one that seemed close to what they felt. she finally landed on astrumgender however it wasnt until a week later, when she tried it again, that xe realized it described star. gin helped her with pronouns.

ace: genderqueer - he/she/they - any terms - gay

found out about all the different gender while gambling with someone. looked it all up later and decided to settle with genderqueer cuz she didn't feel like trying out a ton of different labels (honestly me too)

kōyō: trans fem - she/they/ae - fem + neu terms - neptunic ace

thought neptunic meant "attracted to masculine people" until gin told them that it actually meant "someone attracted to nonbinary people and women". ae felt it described aer better than lesbian did so she started using that label. (honestly i keep getting neptunic and uranic mixed up. i keep thinking the terms are neptunic for liking masc people and sapphic for liking fem. then uranic comes outta nowhere to remind me of my dumbassery 💀 i gotta memorize this shit. the flags dont help either)

verlaine: ethegender - any/all - any terms - gay ace

always felt confused by their gender, he could never describe it in thought, feelings, or words. he always felt like it was at his fingertips but she just couldn't get a hold of it. xe fell down a gender rabbit hole one day and felt that ehtegender described it perfectly. this was also when it discovered the label ace.

hirostu: cis male - he/him - masc terms - aroace

thought everyone knew he was aroace until someone asked him if he had a wife during a meeting. he said he didn't cause he wasn't interested in that or sex and it was deathly quiet for two minutes before he said he was aroace to clarify. they like to tell that story to new members for a quick laugh

arthur: agender - he/they - neu terms - gay aroace

took forever to rediscover their identity. they knew something felt wrong when people used masc terms for him so he asked mori about it. it was a very awkward conversation

elise: cis girl - she/her - fem terms - straight aroace

got very confused when mori kept asking if she had any crushes yet. finally decided to ask him abt what he meant and that was when they both realized she was on the aroace spectrum

Q: agender - they/xe/voi - neu terms - unlabeled

they're actually very happy for their natural androgynous appearance, cause xe never gets misgendered. ofc voi told the PM of their neos but xe never expected them to get used and they cried when chuuya casually said "why are you talking about Q that way?? xe's a kid. leave xem alone".

karma: trans boy - he/him - masc terms - gay

had a very awkward conversation with ace when ace realized he was trans. he was seriously hoping ace just turned him into a gem to escape the conversation. surprisingly managed to teach her a lot of things about the community and proper etiquette when talking to queer people

kajii: trans masc - he/they/xe/ve/ae/div - neu terms - pan demiromantic

neopronoun collector. loves neos. gains neos each week. lost track of them and had to start over three times. ryuu loves using his div's new neos cause it adds some excitement to his life

oda: demiboy- he/she - fem + masc terms - uranic

when she met dazai, it took a lot of patience for him to teach them about pronouns and gender. had no idea dazai was bigender until xe came out to him about it. absolutely no gaydar

ango: nonbinary- he/they - masc + neu terms - gay

phenomenal gaydar, clocked everyone immediately. oda didnt even have time to come out to them, they already knew. knew about dazai, too, but wanted him to figure it out on their own

mori: fuck him, cishet (just realized two seconds after posting that i forgot to add him lol)

THE SILLIES (DOA)

fyodor: agender - any/all - any terms - gay ace

i feel like he sees himself as a divine being or at least something other than human. he has this whole thing of "doing god's will/mission". and imo divine beings are genderless. so i think he would see himself as above gender. i would've just done they/them + neos but honestly? i dont think she would care about pronouns at all so. ALSO nikolai LOVES finding the most out there neos to use for fyodor he finds it so fun. he uses new ones every day

NIKOLAI!!!!: genderqueer - he/they + any/all neos - neu terms - gay demiromantic ace

i feel like nikolai just does not care about pronouns. i also think he wouldnt mind she/her but find a little displeasure in it. he would probably rate she/her as a 4/10 if 0 was hate and 10 was love. he almost feels neutral about it but theres just a little but of dislike. he also LOVES silly neos like clown or honk. he loves it even more when fyodor uses his silly neos cause fyodor is so serious all the time

sigma: aliengender - they/them - neu terms - aroace

currently experimenting with neos. nikolai is obviously helping. their whole thing is that they came from a book so they don't feel like they're "human" (imo, having emotions is what makes you human but its their existential crisis so). anyways i think because of this, they would feel a detachment from gender and would feel like no gender truly fits them but that aliengender fits best (even if its not a perfect fit)

bram: bigender (female + male) - he/she/they - neptunic

she definitely has conversations with nikolai and sigma about gender and how it's expressed. her and nikolai try to teach sigma about it but it just goes over their head (same). definitely goes into great detail describing what his gender feels like to sigma and they're honestly having a great time. gender tea parties every wednesday

fukuchi: trans male - he/him - masc terms - straight

bonded with fukuzawa over being trans. they definitely met in a gsa. tries to be supportive of nikolai but his head spins just thinking about all the neopronouns so they teach him a new set once a week to ease the process. fyodor makes fun of him for it

HUNTING DOGS

JOUNO<3: trans masc - he/they/xe/ae - neu terms - gay demiromantic

taught tetchō and fukuchi what neos were and how to use his. ae has no idea how fukuchi went this long without knowing what they were since fukuchi is quite literally an "elder trans" and has been in the community for decades. teases him about it sometimes when teruko isn't around

teruko: trans woman - she/star - fem terms - pan ace

taught fukuchi how to use her neos. almost killed tetchō when he asked about star's neos because she had no idea he was listening to her teach fukuchi. tries to fight jouno over who's are better (he doesn't care).

tetchō: caligovague - they/ae/jhey/kei/ve/mu - neu terms - uranic ace

after being taught what neos are by jouno, mu went on a deep dive because ve found it interesting. jhey discovered so many neo ae like it was insane and also found a very fitting xenogender. they went to jouno and talked about it and finally told everyone else (fukuchi almost had a stroke trying to learn jheir pronouns).

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYONE THIS TOOK FOREVER!!! also if you want clarification on any pronouns or genders please don't hesitate to ask!!! i had a lot of fun looking for genders and pronouns to fit them although i do worry there wasn't enough variety 😕

[shayberri789]

Also a lot of his interactions during the books to me read as.... forced allonormativity?

Like with Laral - he has always been good friends with her, and she was his ONLY friend. Sure he could acknowledge she was pretty (aesthetic attraction is confusing when you don't know it can be separate to sexual/romantic attraction) but none of his internal dialogue about her reminded me of how romantic/sexual attraction is depicted in other books - cosmere included.

He generally seems utterly baffled by romance and sexual inpulses. Sure he'd prudish, and knows socially somethings are sexual, but he's never really been all that interested in romance OR sex.

With Tara - we have ABSOLUTELY no idea what their relationship was like except it was the only one of its kind he's had, that they kissed sometimes and he loved her. How this fits into my aroace kal hc is that either he was hit with a random bout of attraction (which happens) or it was platonic/queerplatonic attraction and they formed a qqp with some kissing involved bc that's what Tara wanted.

I was never convinced about his relationship with Lin either. They weren't compatible, and she always seemed more interested in him than he her. In all honesty, I thought he looked at the absolute happiness of shadolin, looked at his depression, looked again at how everyone always says romantic relationships make you better/happier, saw Lin was interested in him, and decided to give it ago to chase that happiness. Didn't work out bc he wasn't actually interested in her and she could tell.

As for company; he's always been just fine with bridge 4 and his friends. A lot of the 'attraction' he's felt for me reminded me way more of emotional 'crushes' or squishes (platonic crushes) based on my own experiences. Plus, many comments he makes strike me as aroace because I have deadass said or thought them myself, or my other aspec buddies have.

And as said above: I am so desperate for rep (the list of aro characters Wikipedia page is depressing) that I will take this character who even hints at my experiences and I will fucking die on the aroace!kal hill

Many a fandom person have made fanon of characters being gay (not even bi - fully gay, but that's a different can of worms) when they're shown as being straight or non interested in romance on screen with far less evidence than we have. If they can do it, why can't we have an aroace character without getting shit for it? (Not you OP - it's other people I've had to argue with and gotten shit from, I can tell you're genuinely curious).

Anyway I'm home for the break and my cosmere books are back in my flat so I can't go searching for quotes, and I haven't read the books in a few years (no time) so I can't list my points off the top of my head, but I vividly remember annotating aroace kal lines. There's also a meta analysis floating around (that I would find if the tumblr search function wasn't an oxymoron) about aroace kal and also aro adolin thats very compelling

In conclusion: aroace people still date for a variety of reasons, from compulsive allonormativity/amatonormativity/heteronormativity (they often go hand in hand), to confusion, to just making people happy, and it doesn't detract from their aroaceness. Additionally, I'm unconvinced hebwas ever actually rom/sexually attracted to the women he was 'interested' in, and he shares a lot of aspec experiences and thoughts, and I will die on my aroace kal hill and we deserve to get no more shit for it than people who hc other characters as gay or bi. Have a good evening

Ngl I don’t really get why people are so set on Kaladin being aro/ace when he has dated several people throughout the books. We don’t see a great deal of the relationships but he actively sought them out. Genuinely confused by this particular headcanon if anyone wants to explain it to me…

[kallulovesu]

Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺

For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3

(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭

That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™

It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.

So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.

You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.

Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.

Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.

It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.

Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.

He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.

Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!

He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”

On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.

Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.

This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.

A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!

Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?

He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.

Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.

Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!

But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!

He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.

Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.

His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.

Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.

Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!

Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.

Ivan appreciated you a lot.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.

So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.

[aroaceconfessions]

I'm an aromantic asexual with a trans-masc friend. We're both queer but our experiences are quite different and I'm not going to get on here and pretend like I'm the "best ally ever" or some shit but I make an effort. I really do. I listen to my friend when he complains and try my best to be and empathetic. I try and be supportive and if my friend were ever to tell me that I've said or done something that makes him uncomfortable I'd apologize and correct my behavior. I wouldn't do it again. I just wish he'd give me the same consideration.

Warning: rant incoming (Also it's 12:00 in the morning so forgive an typos or confusing sentences- I really need to get this submitted before I lose my nerve)

So, my friend and I are taking sex-ed in school- same curriculum but different periods. When I complained to him about how it's stupid that I have to take the class when most of the stuff we learn about makes me want to vomit (sex repulsion! yayyy!) he belittles me, saying that I "still need to take the class because this stuff is important" and I "never know what's going to happen when I grow up". Mind you- I've considered all this and know that I really do still need to take the class, it's just nice to be able to complain to someone. And when you complain to someone, you expect a sympathetic ear, not a lecture using some fairly aphobic arguments. Fast forward a few days and the class is discussing pregnancy. The entire class. Regardless of gender. My friend complains to me about how stupid it is that he has to learn about pregnancy because he's never going to have kids and therefore doesn't need to know this. Like. I understand that learning about pregnancy might make my friend slightly dysphoric but everyone in the class went through the same lecture. My friend would've gotten to same lesson- whether he was cis or not. (In fact, since my friend is attracted to woman there's a chance that he could be in a relationship with a pregnant s.o.- meaning there's more of a reason for him to learn about pregnancy than me but I digress.)

And stuff like this happens a lot. When I told my friend that I didn't want to be in a qpr he responded by telling me that qpr's are stupid and he could never see me being in one. I can't see myself in a qpr either but that still hurts? Queer platonic relationships are an important part of many people's aro/aroace identity and he just... calls them stupid? And then tells me he could never see me in one, which implies that he think's I'm incapable of finding any type of partner in life?? (I don't really want any type to life partner but being told that you'll never find one... ouch)

All this coupled with the fact that he outed me to his transphobic parents who think that asexuality is stupid and fake. Without my consent. Despite the fact that I've gone to lengths to keep my friends identity a secret from my parents because he doesn't want them to know. I'm terrified that his parents are going to meet mine and talk and they're going to tell them. I know coming out as aroace isn't as big a deal as any other identity but honestly, I think my parents would prefer if it I was something else. They hate the idea of me ending up alone and them finding out about my identity would probably lead to something bad, though I'm not sure what.

Of course I haven't told him any of this- partly because I'm too scared. He's my only friend and I really don't want to cause any conflict, as we recently decided to remove a really toxic friend for our lives and it was very draining and stressful. I'm scared that I'm reading too much into things or that I'm just being sensitive.

So I guess this is a rant while also being a plee for advice. I am overreacting and jumping to conclusions? Should I talk to my friend or just leave it be? Help me, aroaces of tumblr, you're my only hope.

[thedreadvampy]

Please stop describing aroace as not wanting or seeking out a romantic/sexual relationship. The terms describe attraction, not behavior, and this is something that has been discussed and explained to exhaustion by aroace communities. I have personally also pursued relationships because I thought I wanted that kind of relationship, and too many people try to say that means I’m not really aroace. I have aroace friends who are in sexual and/or romantic relationships.

I’m not angry at you, I know you don’t intend to cause harm, and I generally agree with your thoughts on how Martin is characterized, but I am so, so tired of people who aren’t aroace telling us who we are, how we feel, and how we behave. There are so many easily-accessible resources and explanations about asexuality and aromanticism with respect to relationships, and I urge you do some research if you feel the need to define us.

I don’t mind if you don’t reply to this. It’s the sort of conversation I would rather have privately, but I’ve seen and experienced too much harassment targeting asexual identities to feel safe going off anon.

No I'm not going to stop doing that because my feeling on this is based specifically on conversations raised by and led by my aroace friends and loved ones. as in this is a frustration that a lot of people in my life who are aroace have repeatedly expressed - that there's no space to express clearly and unambiguously that you're Not Wanting Sex And Relationships because the linguistic space is slipping for that. and they've talked a lot specifically about how that's led to them feeling more pressured to push themselves into sex or relationships, or having to constantly explain and defend their space even within aspec communities. and that's a problem. not that people who want or might want sex and romance but consider themselves broadly asexual or aromatic exist, but that with the semantic drift around aroace, there's not really a term which unambiguously expresses that that's not something they do want.

Action is not the same as desire - having had or wanted a relationship doesn't mean anything for whether you're "actually" aro or ace, any more than having dated men in the past means you're not "actually" a lesbian. comphet is a hell of a situation. I'm not splitting hairs about attraction vs behaviour - I'm talking about desire versus lack of desire.

Yes, fine, good, you can act for a lot of reasons, only some of which are genuinely held desire (trust me I know this). I'm not debating that. I'm saying that the space that's shrunk away in contemporary aspec language is a term which unambiguously means "a person who does not have a desire to have sex or relationships."

In this example, Martin spends much of the story expressing desire for a monogamous romantic relationship and nothing in his story arc, his actions, his dialogue or his fears seem to imply that that's motivated by anything other than a genuinely held desire to have a relationship with a man he is into. He's not aroace in the same way he's not a trans lesbian like. yes he could be being led by common drivers - compulsory sexuality, the desire for emotional closeness, the confusion of working out which feeling's what, only knowing how to navigate relationships through a certain lens, etc - and yes he absolutely could be either of those things, but ultimately there's nothing in the text to support that conclusion as is. He is not written as aroace, and in terms of material questions like 'what assumptions do people make about you and what's a justified assumption to make' the two things that matter when it comes to "X is/is not [identity]" are:

what do they outwardly identify as

how do they behave and what desires do they experience and express

like you are absolutely right that it's shitty for people to try and tell you you're not aroace if you are. people know their own identities best. I'm talking about group terminology that's sufficiently materialist to make sense.

like when someone says they're aroace what are appropriate assumptions to make? that this is someone who doesn't want sex or romantic relationships in and of itself, surely? that sex and romance are either low priority or actively not wanted? that they're not likely to be open to attempts to initiate sex or romance, and that their rejection of that isn't personal? that they may prefer long-term to not have a partner and that not having a partner isn't a source of great pain and loneliness and doesn't indicate an unmet need?

like that's what the term means. a term boundaries a set of basic assumptions. that doesn't mean nobody in that group can then turn around and say 'actually I am sad I don't have a partner' or 'actually I think I do want to try a relationship with you' or 'actually it's very validating when people flirt with me'.

similarly like an assumption it's reasonable to make about bisexual people, and an assumption that's embedded in the term, is 'is interested in sex or romance with people of multiple genders.' that doesn't mean I can't be bisexual and also have a complex relationship to what if any sexual or romantic desires I have and why. but it means that if I'm talking about bisexual people, I'm expecting you to join me in the assumption that yes we're talking about People Who Experience Multiple Gender Attraction. sexuality is messy and complicated let's not get it twisted. saying 'this is what the word means' doesn't remove the existence of complex experiences of self and of desire. but what the implied meaning of a word is matters and people were and are acting as if the implied meaning of 'aroace' has nothing to do with inherent desire for sex and romance which seems to me to leave a pretty substantial communication gap.

as I said in the tags - is there a more unambiguous word for 'people who are explicitly uninterested in romance and sex' than aroace? what is it? what is the word that's meant to go there? because THAT IS AN IMPORTANT THING TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS UNAMBIGUOUSLY. and it doesn't mean I'm looking for a word that means 'has never for any reason pursued or experienced romance or sex' which I feel is how you're characterising what I'm saying (and I get that this is a triggering topic with a lot of baggage for a lot of people so I absolutely get why you're reacting as if that's what I'm saying). nor does it mean I'm looking for a word that means '100% gold star virgin who's never dated or had a sexy thought.' it means I'm looking for a word that means 'is uninterested in sex and romance' to describe a reason why somebody might choose to not have relationships, or to not have sex, or might have no sexual or romantic history through choice. key word might. but the fact is every time somebody uses aroace as a descriptor of 'reasons why people may choose not to have relationships' people end up 'correcting' them to say 'some aroace people have relationships' which is. kind of irrelevant to the point. some lesbians are married to men (comphet, changing sense of self, marriages of convenience, lavender marriages etc) but when I say 'she doesn't want to date him because she's a lesbian' we understand what the common understanding of lesbian is.

ultimately idk how to end this post. my point in the original post wasn't 'nobody who's aroace has experience of sex or relationships' but 'aroaceness is a reasonable reason why someone might not have had sex or relationships' and my point in the tags you're objecting to isn't 'aroace as a term should only include people who would never consent to sex or relationships,' it's 'a lack of inherent wish for sex and relationships used to be what we understood aroaceness to imply; now that no longer seems to be the implication and that leaves a gap where a lot of people, aroace and otherwise, struggle to express that experience'

[fruitquake]

realizations pt. 2

part one

read it on ao3

Regulus Black knows he doesn’t like girls. He wishes he did. It would make everything so much easier. But at some point, you have to accept that maybe you aren’t just a late bloomer. Maybe it isn’t just that you “haven’t found the right girl yet”. Maybe it’s just who you are.

Aside from knowing he definitely doesn’t like girls, though, it’s all very confusing. It seemed like a logical conclusion that if he doesn’t like girls, he must like boys.

But then, James Potter kissed him, and he’s pretty sure that if he were gay, it would’ve felt… special. Or it would’ve felt like anything at all. But rather, it felt exactly the same as kissing girls: uncomfortably and wetly smashing your mouths together. He didn’t say any of this to James. He didn’t say anything, actually, just left with what he knows was a terribly transparent excuse. Now, he’s in his room, sitting on the floor and staring out of the window at the few stars visible through the clouds.  

Is there something wrong with him? The question has been echoing in his mind since the kiss. Well, really, it’s been there long before, but he has managed to ignore it well enough before today. It was easy to push it to the back of his mind, and tell himself that he would figure it out eventually and it didn’t really matter.

But… He kissed James. James Potter, the guy who half the girls - and several guys - are utterly enamoured by. James Potter, who is objectively very handsome. And surely, if he were gay, kissing him would’ve felt… good? How is kissing supposed to feel? Regulus has tried it a few times by now, and it has never been the enjoyable experience that people make it out to be.

He is typing the words into google before he even registers having taken his phone out. Is kissing supposed to feel good?

Most of the search results are clinical, detached articles, explaining the biological and social reasons as to why humans like kissing. Until he stumbles upon a blog post on one of those ask-and-answer forums.

Anonymous: need advice!! my friends are constantly going on about their crushes and the people they’ve been with, how much they love kissing, all that stuff. and i just can’t relate at all. i’ve kissed a few boys, and once a girl too, and i don’t understand the hype at all? i’ve never really had a crush on anyone either, i think. all that kissing and dating and sex stuff just seem like a waste of time to me. is there something wrong with me? am i broken or something?

Regulus’s heart stutters as he reads the post through. He… relates to most of it. Is there something wrong with me? It’s the same question that’s been ringing loud and clear through his head since the kiss.

The comments are mostly stuff like “just wait til you’re older” and “you’ll get it when you meet the right person”, and Reg feels his stomach sink. Is that really it? He’s supposed to sit around and wait for “the right person” to come into his life and… fix him? He thinks about James again. James, who is kind and funny and one of his favourite people in the entire world. But kissing him didn’t feel right. It hasn’t felt right with anyone.

But then his eyes catch on another comment on the person’s post: you should look into the terms asexual and aromantic. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or that you are broken, but if you don’t have an interest in romance/sex it could be because you’re ace and/or aro.

Asexual and aromantic. Regulus googles both terms, spends hours reading through articles and blog posts and people sharing their experiences, and for the first time in his life he feels… seen. He hadn’t realized how lonely he felt, before discovering that he isn’t alone.

It’s a lot to take in. A lot of thoughts and questions and answers swirling in Regulus’s head. He really, really wants to talk to someone about all of this. But first of all, it’s 3 AM. Secondly, who?

James is… kinda the whole reason he’s having this sexuality crisis to begin with. He is certain he would’ve figured it out anyway at some point, but it’s thanks to James that he is up in the middle of the night, buried in research about his own identity. He doesn’t think he can talk to James about all this. At least not yet.

Then there’s Sirius. Regulus doesn’t know if he would understand. He feels some of that familiar loneliness creep up on him again. He and Sirius are finally close again. After years of division and hurt and pretending the other doesn’t exist, they have a relationship that’s actually good, and Regulus doesn’t want to ruin it. What if Sirius doesn’t understand or doesn’t accept him? He can’t lose his brother again. He doesn’t have anyone else.

Should he just… not tell anyone, then? Perhaps that is best, at least for now, he thinks. If no one knows, no one can judge him for it or tell him that it’s wrong or that his experiences aren’t real. He nods to himself, settling back into bed. It’s better if no one knows.

-

Regulus doesn’t get any sleep that night. Not that he really expected to. He spends the next day dozing off in class and avoiding James. Both are working out great for him until he starts awake, feeling a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He sits up straight on his chair and squints as he looks around. The classroom is empty, except for him and-

“Sorry, did I wake you?” James asks. He's standing beside Regulus’s desk, looking down at him with something like concern.

“S’fine,” Regulus mumbles, stifling a yawn.

James sits on top of the desk next to Regulus’s. “You look tired,” he says. “Are you okay?”

Regulus still doesn’t know how to react to people showing him genuine concern. It’s not something he’s really used to. “I’m fine,” he says, perhaps a bit too forcefully. He stands up, almost knocking over his chair in the process, and starts quickly packing up his things.

“Hey, uh,” James says, nervously messing up his hair in that way he does. “There’s something we should probably talk about.”

The kiss. Reg was desperately hoping James would pretend it never happened. He slings his bag over one shoulder and starts towards the door. “I’m sorta in a rush.”

James stands up. “Reg, please,” he says. “I… I really need to talk to you about it. Please.”

Regulus sighs, but stops in the doorway. “We don’t have to,” he says in an almost pleading tone, turning around to face James. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You don’t understand.” James looks at him with big doe eyes. “Reg, it matters to me.”

He regards James for a while, before nodding, signalling for him to say whatever it is he wants to say.

James takes a deep breath. “So, er… The thing about the kiss,” he begins, fidgeting nervously with the strap of his bag. “It sorta… made me realize something? About myself?”

Regulus has never seen him this nervous. He waits in silence for him to go on.

“Shit,” James mumbles, rubbing his face with his hands. “I feel like I’ve rehearsed this conversation all day, but now I just, like… Have no idea what to say.” He takes another deep breath. “Screw it, I’m just gonna say it, okay? I really fucking liked that kiss and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and also I’m bisexual.” It comes out as a quick string of words with no pause for James to breathe - or for Reg to interrupt him.

James looks at him; nervous, expectant, awaiting. But Regulus really doesn’t know what to say. He feels a tight knot in his stomach. “Oh,” he finally manages.

“Ah, shit,” James says frantically. “That’s right, there was something else I was gonna say, something important. I, er… I completely get it if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship, because I really care about you and I don’t wanna lose you. I just… really needed to get this off my chest.”

He sounds so genuine. Of course he does, Reg thinks and feels stupid. When has James ever been anything but genuine, honest and loyal? When has he ever judged Reg or turned his back on him for anything? James knows him better than he allows most people to, and if there’s anyone Reg can talk to about this, it’s him.

“There’s something I need to get off my chest too,” Regulus says quietly.

James’s eyes widen. “Oh? What is it?”

Reg sets down his bag and goes to sit by the desk opposite James. He doesn’t look at him as he starts talking. “I’m aroace. I don’t experience… that kind of attraction. Romantic or sexual. It’s… not exactly that the kiss made me realize it. Or maybe it did. But I kinda already knew. I just… wasn’t ready to admit it to myself, I suppose? Also I didn’t really know the word for it. But… yeah, that’s who I am and I can’t do anything to change that, just as you can’t change the fact that you’re bi, so… I hope you won’t hate me now.”

When James stays quiet, Regulus forces himself to look up. James is looking at him with an unreadable expression, and Reg’s stomach drops. This was a terrible idea. He should’ve known he couldn’t tell anyone. He has ruined everything. James opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Reg has pushed out his chair and is walking toward the door with swift steps.

“Nevermind,” he says, ignoring the stinging of tears in his eyes.

“Reg, wait!”

“Forget everything I just said.”

-

James finds him rather quickly, at the area behind the school that’s nearly hidden with shrubs. It’s where he comes when he needs to be alone, and he knows it’s also where Sirius comes to smoke.

Regulus is sitting on the ground with his back against a tree trunk, not caring if his clothes get dirty. James sits down about a meter away from him, but doesn’t speak, so Regulus is the one to break the silence:

“Are you upset because of my sexuality or because I don’t have feelings for you?” he asks. His voice is harsher than he meant it to be, but at least it’s not shaking.

James draws in a sharp breath, turning to face him. “I’m not upset at all!” he exclaims. “What on earth gave you that idea?”

He’s… not upset? Regulus clears his throat. “Well,” he mumbles. “You didn’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” James says earnestly. “I didn’t really know what to say. And you didn’t exactly give me a lot of time to think before you stormed off.”

Now Reg feels like he’s the one who should apologize. He doesn’t, though. Just stares straight ahead at the shrubs surrounding them.

“I’m really sorry I made you feel this way, Reg,” James says softly. “I promise I’m not upset. I care about you. A lot. And I, er… I may not know that much about this stuff, but I’m gonna do research on it so I can support you the best I can, because I care about-” He cuts himself off. “No, wait, I already said that part,” he mumbles, laughing nervously.

Reg smiles at him. “You hate doing research,” he says. “You avoid it like the plague.”

James laughs again. “Shut up, you wanker,” he says, shoving him gently. “This is different!”

He scoots a bit closer, putting his hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “But really,” he says, his tone more serious now. “I support you one hundred percent. You’ll always be family to me. So if you want, we can just forget all about that kiss.”

“But…” Reg looks up at him. “The kiss did mean something to you, didn’t it?”

James considers this for a moment. “I mean… it was a good kiss. And it did sorta… force me to come to terms with my sexuality. But what really means something to me is you, Reg, and our friendship. I don’t wanna lose that, ever. So… do I maybe have a teeny tiny crush on you? Yeah, I think I might, but it’s honestly no big deal. It won’t change anything between us, I promise.”

He holds out his pinky finger, and it takes Regulus several moments to realize what he’s doing. He holds up his own pinky and laces it with James’s.

“I just realized, I’m kind of an asshole,” he says after a bit. “I practically dismissed your coming out because I was so worried about my own.”

“Oh.” James chuckles. “Mate, don’t worry about it. I completely understand.”

“If you want, you can tell me again and I will try to react better,” Reg offers.

James shakes his head, amused. “I… alright,” he says, grinning. “Regulus?”

“Yes?”

“I’m bisexual.”

Reg smiles at him. “Oh, okay!” he says, acting as though it’s the first he’s hearing of this. “That’s lovely. I’m very happy for you. And… obviously, I support you, and I care about you a lot, too.”

James’s grin grows wider. “Thank you,” he says.

They sit quietly for a while, before James speaks again:

“Do you wanna come over today? Mum is making pancakes for dessert. And we can play Mario Kart.”

Regulus groans, but can’t quite suppress a smile. “Ugh, I don’t wanna play Mario Kart against you. You always win. I swear you’re cheating, somehow.”

“How would I cheat at Mario Kart?” James asks with a laugh.

Reg shrugs, crossing his arms. “I don��t know, but I don’t wanna play with you either way.”

“Okay, well… You can play against Sirius? Or you two can team up and try to beat me together,” James suggests, nudging his shoulder. “Come on, it’ll be fun. And pancakes.”

“Fine,” Reg says, as if he wasn’t going to say yes from the beginning. “But only because of the pancakes.”

James nods solemnly. “That’s fair,” he says, and Reg tries not to smile like an idiot, but it’s hard not to because at least for now, all of the worries and doubts swirling in his chest have been driven away by a warm, relieved feeling.

“James?” he says.

“Yeah?”

He doesn’t actually know what to say, so he just wraps his arms around James and pulls him into a hug. James hugs him back tightly, and Regulus feels incredibly lucky to have a friend like him.

[asexual-society]

I’m non-binary aroace and I’ve been in a close relationship with a cis gay man for a few months. I have a squish and for me this relationship is important because for the first time I’m able to built close bond having an open identity and understanding myself as aroace. The other person is also experiencing intense and intimate emotions and for him it’s a new type of relationship and a little bit confusing because as an allo person he doesn’t separate sexual attraction from romantic attraction (and all other types of attraction). Recently we had a conversation where I told him that I have a non-romantic and non sexual physical attraction to him. I would like to hug ,cuddle, kiss him (not on the lips) and I would like him to show the same to me. I explained that aroace people can feel this type of attraction as a part of intimate connection with a person. For me, this is a manifestation of tenderness. I also assured him that if he is uncomfortable with it, then our relationship can remain at the same level of closeness as before. The person said that he was afraid of physical close contact with me, because he thought that he might begin to feel romantic or sexual attraction to me and that he needed time to get used to this new information. A few weeks have passed, and there is still some strange awkward physical distance between us. We still hug when we meet and say goodbye and give each other a high five, but it's not always clear to me how and when I can touch him and he seems to be trying not to touch me by accident. Now I think that I shouldn't have talked so openly about my attraction and that I scared the person away and made everything awkward? Should I bring up the topic of physical intimacy again or just let the relationship develop as it is? I would really like to know how aroace folks discuss physical attraction with their allo squishes/partners/close friends. Thank you in advance for the answer ★

I'm absolutely the wrong person to be answering this unfortunately, I've never been in this situation, the closest comparable thing for me was before I realised I was ace and one of my friends told my """crush""" that I liked him (heavy quotation marks bc it was not a crush, I just didn't know that at the time). He was also one of my best friends but didn't feel the same way (in fact he liked me as a friend, but I didn't really understand what I was feeling), and the whole thing set our friendship back several months. He was always a complete gentleman about it, and although (for unrelated reasons) we rarely see eachother these days, he's still one of my favourite people. I can't say I handled it particularly well, essentially we never really spoke about it again, and I just pined for a couple of years and then went. hey isn't it weird I never had a crush after that? (cue aro panic). But it did turn out okay, we're fine now!

It's probably a little awkward now if he doesn't feel the same way, or didn't fully understand and maybe felt like you were coming onto him, but it sounds like you guys are pretty close so I expect whatever you do it'll be okay in the end. You could talk to him to make sure he's okay in case he felt uncomfortable, but it's not your fault, you shouldn't feel guilty, these things just happen sometimes. You could just say something like "hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I really care about you, so I hope we're okay" and go from there (if it were me I'd probably make a light self-depricating joke about being a dickhead but again, I don't really do Talking). Feelings are weird and awkward sometimes so I hope it works out for you (or at least it works better than my Never Talk About This At All Costs approach, which has successfully avoided some awkward conversations but is otherwise not very helpful).

If anyone else has some better advice than whatever this is, please (please) go ahead, I am just an emotionally constipated nerd that someone gave access to this blog.

- mod key

[47secondstoturntopage23]

Annie Edison is Ace

I rewatched 1x11 of Community today (the Politics of Human Sexuality) and it just completely reinforced in my mind that Annie is ace/ demi/ somewhere on the ace spec! Like!!! Her whole “I’m fine being repressed with my sexuality” speech?? I RELATE, and it definitely sounds like something I (and a lot of other aces) would say to describe how we felt before we found the ace label

All the people she’s had crushes on/ has been attracted to can be seen as solely romantic and aesthetic, sexual but only after a strong emotional bond is formed, or as compulsory sexuality:

Jeff - Wasn’t attracted to him physically until well into s1and even then it’s never properly stated that she likes him sexually (if she does, it’s after an emotional bond is formed)

Troy - A crush but nothing suggested she liked him sexually

Vaughn - They didn’t even kiss until they were well into the relationship, never shown to find him sexually attractive

Zac Effron - Either compulsory sexuality (I Must Find Him Attractive, Everyone Else Does!) or confusion between sexual and aesthetic and romantic attraction (These Must All Be The Same, Surely!, the unaware ace says)

Abed (Han Solo/ Don Draper) - Romantic and also sensual,, as soon as he stops playing the part of the “bad boy” she doesn’t react the same way to him (though she may still like him romantically)

Dean (Freaky Friday episode) - Reacting the way she did bc he was acting like Jeff (who she likes) and also playing the “bad boy” role, wasn’t interested in him once he stopped being Jeff

Britta - Nothing to suggest she likes her sexually (that I remember? But if there is then it’s after an emotional bond was formed) but she definitely has a romantic crush on her

Rich - Romantic, nothing to suggest a sexual attraction

Other reasons I think she’s ace/ ace spec:

All of her crushes are very romantic (dreaming of marrying them and having a home together), nothing to suggest she wants anything sexual to happen with them (and if it does, only after a strong bond was formed)

“Nobody sleeps with Jeff. Not even me.” in 4x13

Very uncomfortable around the topic of sex (which isn’t exclusive to aces and isn’t something all aces experience, but there is some overlap so it’s worth mentioning)

The whole of 1x11 (”I don’t see what all the fuss was about. A giant thumb in a turtleneck! Whoop-dee-doo!”)

That Scene in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons was done in a very matter-of-fact way, like she was trying to score points in a game/ accomplish the goal of the scene rather than actually write a sex scene

In conclusion: I am aroace and want more rep but this time I have proof as to why one of my favourite characters is ace/ ace spec

[thoughtsdying]

The procces of realising you’re aroace: a tale by me version 2

Realising you’re aroace is suddenly comprehending why your few friends (with one exception) have always turned out to be in the queer community at the end. Like. That fenomenum of “queer radar only you don’t realise it’s there and you end up gravitating together anyway?” yup- It happens too. Only most of the time you think you’re an allied cis-het weirdo who cares too much about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you, and who cares if you feel weird when other people assume you’re hetero (or that you have a orientation at all), you sure aren’t attracked to your same gender either. Nor are any kind of trans.

And then you discover asexuality in your late teens and it feels weirdly near you, but you think you’re trying to make it so you’re special, so you dismiss any ace feels as you being a late bloomer, and only take care of including it in discussions about queer issues, and then you feel strangely hurt when a professor dismisses it as “some self descriptor weird lonely japanese men in their 40′s created who only care for 2D” which. You don’t have to tell me all the problems in that sentence. Believe me, I know. And you can’t come with arguments except well if people feel like using it, then we should respect it, bc you don’t have the words to explain asexuality except that internet in english told you it was a thing and you still don’t know except in a nebulous way what even is aromanticism, so you didn’t bring that up in the discussion at all.

And a pair of years after that you start using demisexual bc it feels less scary and very reasonable except you’ve never felt attracted to anyone, how do you even tell it? And relationships scare you, and you still don’t have any idea of what is aromanticism except it scares you and you don’t want to contemplate a life being aro. You love romances after all

(except when you have to look the other way in any kind of profound kiss, bc it’s private people, which makes you feel wiedly homophobic when you’re watching a lgbtq+ media or your best friend with her girlfriend even if it’s the same with hetero, except then it’s just that sex is weird in film and kisses with tongue are still private people!)

and obviously you still don’t want to have sex with a girl (Except perhaps those emotional dreams of touching with a friend that aren’t sex but almlost and are very comfortable anyways it could be nice you’re sure but nice isn’t desire is it?) so even although guys make you nervous and any thought of doing anything romantic-sexual with one is a “yikes” you suppose you find some really pretty in a different way you do with woman and that must be ~attraction~.

And a friend tells you that a guy tried to sound her to see if he could date you and she told him you were ace and uninterested in any kind of relationship, and you go “why?” confused and a bit elated bc holy shit what a relief you won’t have to confront him, but also a bit of panic (that’s how i come across? it isn’t my imagination, im so obvious oh no) and she tells you, “well you are almost one and you don’t have any intention of dating anybody right now so i thought it best to cut any feels on his part right now”. And it gives you things to think about.

And another two years pass except this time you’ve started to educate yourself on aromanticism bc too many relatable posts on tumblr looking into the ace tag made you “holy shit yeah this makes more sense than just asexuality” but also you keep loving romance stories except now you’ve started to recognize you’re starved of friendship in all the ambits of your live and you’re also a young adult who still doesn’t want a relationship, what do i do? And maybe you’re not demi, you’re ace and you can think sex sounds a nice activity to do with intimate friends (aro aro aro) but not something you’re into, and you’re still ace, you’re not attracted to anybody not really. What a relief. (you still can’t try on the aro umbrella)

And you question yourself bc a fantastic guy has become your friend, and your minds vibe inmensely well, and you talk during quearentine, but he gives you some weird vibes sometimes, and makes you gifts which you ignore bc holy shit a best friend! And he has money and he’s lonely! I would also give gifts to my besties if I had money! And then he confesses to you on wassap, and you realise he has put you on a pedestal and has cofessed but already said himself he doesn’t want a relationship with you bc he would corrupt you or something and anyway, he’s not really in love with you he’s using you as a mental crutch to try to not be depressed, he knows that noe but he hates psycologists. Also, can i have some time apart from you?

So you tell him you feel flattered but that you see him as only a friend, and please can you not put yourself so below me? Search professional help. I’ll stay away as long as you need.

And you start feeling uneasy, but you think it’s only that he’s a weirdo and really you’ve dodged a bullet of course you wouldn’t want to go out with him, he’s not really the kind of pretty you like. Except if you’re ace what does it matter? Isn’t it that you feel pretty repulsed by trying a romantic relationship? Or are you just justifying your own aloofness and personality problems that make impossibly difficult to try a romance anyway. People don’t control who they feel romantic feels for anyway.

Except in the following months when you’ve finally reaturned to be friends you’re so relieved to not have that shadow above you and really wouldn’t it be amazing if everybody knew you didn’t want anything to do with them romantically? To be free to be friends and hug them, and walk arm in arm or go to lunch and cinema and still be just friends? To plan your future in a line along with those friends but not be really a committement as much as you just want to enjoy talking face to face with them for a bit longer.

So you go back to read about aromanticism and maybe you cry a little but mostly you’re pretty happy and scared about it. And you tell that friend, bc he’s your bestie right now and you feel him being bi and also being interested in you in the past would make him more likely to react well. It’s not personal it’s just the way I am. And then you start crying in the middle of a starbucks for 15 min. and you didn’t now you feel so much so intensely about being aroace, and how it had impacted you without knowing and how much you hate those expectations. And he hugs you and tells you “nobody has the right to tell you how to live. if you feel like you’re never gonna be in a relationship that’s your business and you’ll be happy anyway” and you cry harder. And then you both have a sincere conversation about sex as he has experimented it and how you feel it pretty strange and weird, but maybe you’d like to try it sometime. Just not a time near now. And if it’s never that’s pretty okey with you too.

So you go home feeling a bit embarrased but also pretty elated except a week later there’s another wassap message from him, saying he feels he still loves you, and that he understands intelectually your nearness with him is friendly but still feels romantic and it confuses me and it pains me and i would prefer to not be your friend anymore, sorry, men are shit and me the worst of them.

“Ok” I write back. I’m furious and hurt and I don’t want to see his liar face anymore. So fuck you, I think. “Thanks for telling me” And I block his number and I don’t talk to him when we met with out mutual friends, and when it’s necessary I talk as if he were a stranger. Kindly but impersonal. Isn’t that what you wanted? To lost a friend? So you’ve lost me forever.

And it became clear to me that I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stupidity of not wanting to see someone just because their lives don’t revolve around you the way you like, even though you’re friends and you can talk to them about anything at all anyway, and be there for help with the shitty parts of life. There are things I’ll never felt or do for another. 

And I’m ok with that.

[instablamwriter]

A3! Aspec HCs | Spring Troupe Part 1

I originally made a thread on twitter but links are possibly messing up the tags but these are expanded on those so anything there is also here.

I got inspired by Elena and thought of more HCs so I just thought of compiling it here instead. Doing 2 posts for each troupe so that they all have more spotlight time!

cw some sex talk

Disclaimers before I start

just my own hcs

i made them all aroacespec bc I can

no gender hcs included

am i projecting to some of them? lol yeah

not my main sexuality hcs for everyone

ofc everyone has very different experiences being part of the spectrum, so just my own hcs. Feel free to add or message me about these!!!

Sakuya

demisexual/demiromantic/pan or aroace

I say this bc I like both hcs a lot

since he never got the chance to create a lot of deep bonds in the past, he never realized it

had been kinda detached from the thought of dating and romance and just figured it will come when it comes

i’m sure neigbourhood people have definitely told him “I don’t get why you don’t have an S/O!“ and he’s always at a loss on what to tell them

he slips in some anti-amatonormativity sentiments to the preschool kids he handles

“it’s okay to want a partner but it’s also okay not to want one. it’s not everything in life“

“friends are just as important as romantic partners!“

“you shouldn’t be judged on the kind of person you are based on whether you want a family or not“

“sakuya-sen might not get married in the future and that’s okay! he’s still happy where he is!“

he loves hugs!! He wants all the hugs!! and his hugs are some of the best and he’s warm and nice

loves people liberally and with his whole heart

he doesn’t particularly contribute a lot to sex talk and has little interest in it

Masumi

ace/grayromantic/bi

didn’t even know he could be attracted to people at all until he met the director

something about her acting just sparked an interest in his heart that he has never felt before (whether it’s romantic or not is up to u reader)

most of his daydreams involve hand holding and forehead kisses and cuddling by a fire or something like that

he doesn’t really think about what the director looks like and focuses on her likes/dislikes and her quirks as a person

doesn’t understand what people perceive to be so attractive about him physically so he’s annoyed by any fangirls from his school because they don’t even know him

he doesn’t really understand when someone mentions someone being ‘hot’ so by default he just compares them to the director

doesn’t particularly like sex but if the person he likes wants it, he’s willing to try and make them happy even if to him it’s just okay.

Tsuzuru

demisexual/demiromantic/bi

the reason his works are mostly about friendship or focusing on friendships is not because of comphet but because that’s what he genuinely treasures the most

friendships and filial ties have had the biggest emotional impact on him

he associates pining with friendships mostly

he’s also oblivious to the people that crush on him

Which is funny bc he observes people a lot and can read them well but he doesn't really pick it up if potential feelings for him

tho I also think that he’s super horny for the person does he does come to like

and it troubles him because he never had to deal with all these feelings of want before and it’s all focused on one person

he shows a lot of love thru physical touch even though he’s hmm usually politely distant of people. Or more of he’s used to it with his family and would be ok in theory hugging/patting/etc with other people but he doesn’t quite know how bc his instinct is to not carelessly touch someone unless they’re close

he’s okay with other people’s physical affection towards him tho

probably wouldn’t realize he was attracted to someone right away and confuse them for all the feelings he associated with friendship so it takes some time for him to realize that the two can be quite similar but it also feels ‘different’. Not better or worse. Just different.

[thelanguageoflovers]

DIRECTOR’S CUT THAT DAMNED UNIVERSE. -L

Spoilers!That Damned Universe was heavily inspired by a couple of books I once read, and I think it has a lot of meaning that goes under the radar of a lot of people, instead being registered subconsciously (the whole point of my writing, frankly). Here’s a ridiculously in-depth rundown of each chapter, from the writer’s point of view.Chapter 1The first chapter was meant to introduce the storyline, and show some exposition. Lincoln Academy was named after my elementary school, and is structured in a ridiculously unconventional manner, given the strong academic drive of the academy. We find out quickly that Cyrus, TJ, Andi, and Buffy all room in Stanford Dormitory along with the rest of the freshman class, and Amber is in Halsey. Halsey was named after my favorite building of the college in my hometown, while Stanford was after the university, where Cyrus would end up going to major in psychology if TDU extended that far.I put Cyrus on the fourth floor and Andi and Buffy on the second for the sole purpose of creating conversational periods between characters as they go between one another’s rooms or to and from classes. This set up the framework for TJ and Cyrus’ first kiss later on.I intentionally wrote Cyrus to react to his arrival at Lincoln with minimal homesickness for two reasons. The first, of course, is that Cyrus grew up with four incredibly overbearing but well-meaning parents, and he is eager to take a deep breath. The second is that Cyrus, as all characters and people must be, is a psychologically complex character, and his immediate lack of emotional displacement comes from that fact. He’s so overwhelmed upon arriving at Lincoln that he doesn’t have the time to catch his breath, let alone miss his parents.Finally, the last line. TJ almost immediately tells Cyrus he finds him fascinating upon meeting him, which feels almost rushed, but was planned to feel as such. TJ’s first impression of Cyrus is so sudden and rushed because he immediately likes Cyrus, and isn’t quite sure how to express his emotions, so he naturally does his best to make Cyrus happy.Chapter 2The first line of the second chapter (Cyrus woke to his alarm, going off at exactly 5:55 am, as it always had - Cyrus was sure it always would.) is a representation of how Cyrus follows a schedule in his life that doesn’t change, and he assumes it never will. However, in chapter 6, he doesn’t wake to his alarm, because he’d fallen asleep with TJ the night before. This was coded to imply that TJ teaches Cyrus to let himself be human and have a little more fun.Cyrus wakes to TJ gone, because I wanted to show TJ’s elusive nature early on in the story, then introduce his character a little bit later. His leaving confuses and intrigues Cyrus, effectively prompting him to get to know TJ better.He spends an exorbitant amount of type getting ready on the first day of school, which was to further cement the notion that he’s a touch over-specific in all areas of his life, especially when he’s in a new, unfamiliar, or stressful environment (Lincoln Academy just so happens to be all three).Their odd choice of cereal (both Rice Krispies and Cap'n Crunch) is a little reference to Gilmore Girls, in which Paris and Rory both make interesting and unique cereal and milk mixtures on a couple of occasions.Cyrus’s offhanded comment that TJ hates the universe is not only the root of the title, but a slight character development from TJ, giving him a human characteristic. This at the very least proves that Cyrus and TJ had a conversation of substance the night before, and had learned more than trivial things about one another.Andi and Buffy lightheartedly making fun of him for his taste in unobtainable athletes was meant to allude to his crush on Jonah back home, and to show that he’d grown more comfortable with his sexuality since coming out to them.Lincoln’s class periods are 40 minutes, with a 20-minute break between. This seems absurd at first, but later we’ll find that classes constantly run lat, justifying the minor absurdity.Cyrus and TJ’s conversation between 5th and 6th period is meant to show their friendship and the way Cyrus affects TJ in a positive way. They joke back and forth naturally, complimenting one another and letting the conversation carry without trying too hard.Chapter 3This chapter follows my own change and interpretation of actual things from Andi Mack, turning some of my favorite pieces of the show in relation to Tyrus into my own plotlines. The first is, of course, TJ’s acrimony towards Buffy. In the show, this is expressed as jealousy of her basketball skills, whereas I chose to change it into jealousy of her close relationship with Cyrus. TJ immediately leaving when Cyrus and Buffy walk into the dorm room is meant to further stabilize the notion that TJ thinks she and Cyrus are together, though at this point it hasn’t been confirmed.Buffy and Cyrus getting into a fight over his feelings for TJ shows that Cyrus isn’t ready to admit how he feels. This also allows for TJ and Cyrus to become closer when Cyrus can’t turn to Andi and Buffy for constant friendship.Cyrus’s conversation with TJ in the library is interesting, as the second TJ finds out that Cyrus and Buffy aren’t dating, the conversation lightens. They’re then able to have a conversation that moves along without the weight of their mutual awkwardness resting on it. Their academic banter throughout the conversation was meant to show that TJ and Cyrus were both highly academically minded, despite showing that trait in very different ways.Cyrus being unable to stop himself from asking if TJ is okay shows two things about him and his relationship with TJ. The first is that Cyrus is the type of person who cannot refrain from helping others. He shows unconditional empathy for others, and those he loves are never free from his well-meaning comfort. The second thing this shows is that he has grown so comfortable with TJ in under 24 hours that he’s willing to risk stepping possibly outside of his boundaries as an acquaintance/friend to ensure that TJ is going to be alright.

Chapter 4

All of Cyrus’s teachers (Mr. Marlow, Madame Aguillard, Mr. Stile, Mrs. Elliot, Ms. Anderson, Mr. Smith, Mrs. Barnett, Mrs. Bailey) are slight variations of teachers I’ve had this year or last, most of which teach the same subjects I had them for.This chapter has one last interpretation of a classic detail from Andi Mack - the muffin. Their exchange of sandwich for chocolate-chocolate chip muffin proves that they’re friends, and care about one another enough to insist they have their favorite foods.I chose for them to play a game of 20 questions as a way to reveal exposition without stating their backgrounds, interests, and hobbies point-blank. This also allowed me to build their relationship through verbal learning.Marty being the friend who accidentally outed TJ let me introduce him to the story, and having him, Amber, Buffy and Andi rush into TJ and Cyrus’s room let me introduce them to one another. Amber and Andi’s quickness to flirt with one another showed that TJ and Amber inadvertently learned about love in the same way - they both grew up learning from their parents that those you love can leave quickly. Thus, they both picked up a habit of quickly establishing a close relationship with those they’re attracted to before they leave.Chapter 5 Cyrus wakes with a terrible headache the next day (and jokes with TJ about being hungover) because of the yelling and conflict the night before. I put this aspect in for two main reasons. One is, of course, showing that Cyrus can’t stand conflict, and is consistently trying to resolve it. The second reason I put this bit into the story is so that I could allow TJ to minorly comfort Cyrus in a platonic (but romantically intentioned) manner.Cyrus quickly saving TJ from having to out himself to Buffy and Andi was a move that I wrote in to show Cyrus’s growing ability to cut into conversations and protect those he loves, as taught to him by TJ.The small scene of TJ and Cyrus studying together exhibits the lighthearted, carefree side of their relationship that I thought was very important to introduce at some point in the story.The romantic tension between Cyrus and TJ as the former helps TJ with his compass foreshadows their awkward encounter following their first kiss later on. When it ultimately built to them falling asleep holding pinkies, that was meant to show that they were each aware of their feelings for the other, but reluctant to show them.Chapter 6When Cyrus and TJ wake up the next morning, they’re curled around one another, and it causes intense romantic tension between the pair as they go about starting the day. This ends when they go back and forth in a short exchange of ‘I wasn’t’ and 'well neither was I’. TJ tries to kiss Cyrus, but they’re interrupted by a phone call. This signifies the awkward, fumbling nature of the relationship, especially as they go to help Andi. Their acknowledgment of the awkwardness between them is a huge step in their relationship, which ultimately leads to their first kiss.Their argument in the stairwell being the lead up to their kiss was a choice I made because in the heat of an argument, emotions are heightened. This was important for the scene to work, as if they hadn’t been arguing, neither would have the courage to kiss the other.Final ChapterI had Cyrus start the seventh chapter regretting his kiss with TJ to drive the plot. This forced TJ and him to have an actual conversation about what exactly their relationship was at the end of the chapter.Honestly, there were only two reasons I made Buffy aroace. First, I’m ace and I wanted representation, so I took the opportunity when it arose. Second, I wanted to tease you guys with Muffy (anyone paying really close attention to AO3 will have noticed that I tagged TDU as a Marty/Buffy fic, then took away the tag for the last chapter).Cyrus wagering his asking TJ out for Andi doing the same with Amber was a way for me to close the Ambi storyline in a satisfactory way without dedicating an entire chapter exclusively to it.The mini-monologue of Cyrus deciding whether or not to kiss TJ was one I’d been writing in my head since beginning to write TDU, and completed the fic in a way that was so characteristic of my writing that I couldn’t help but throw it in just to make the story feel completely finished.

[mcrmadness]

...

I see everyone, even those who don't listen to MCR, reblogging and talking about this Gerard Way in a cheerleader dress incident. Or not even talking about but going crazy over it. And it's just so weird for me? Like, why is everyone so excited?

Mainly I'm wondering this because people so often say that clothes have no gender, but still it looks like clothes have gender every time someone uses clothes not originally designed for their agab. Especially when it's about an amab person. It's just so bizarre to me that people keep saying clothes have no gender and that someone being gender non-conforming is awesome, but then start talking about how cool or brave someone is for wearing clothes of the "opposite sex". Isn't the meaning of gender non-conforming exactly that that there's NO gender for clothes and everyone can wear whatever the fuck they want?

Like, why is it that "gender is just a social construct" becomes "he's so feminine" or "she's so masculine" when someone actually DOES present themselves as gender non-conforming?

Sure could be that I've just understood this all so wrong, either this everything or the reasons why people go crazy. I just see these photos and think "cool that he/they felt like doing this publicly, it seemed to be very important to him/them back in the day". I mean, there are some old MCR interviews where Gerard speaks he sometimes went to the art school dressed as a girl just for fun.

Maybe I find this all confusing because I myself am agender. For me gender doesn't exist, at least not mine. I don't know what gender feels like, I only understand gender in theory but that's all (ad respect the gender[s] or the lack of thereof of others'). For me clothes also no longer have gender. I wear what I feel good in, I don't care of it was originally designed with only men or women (or unisex) in mind. And when you're this picky as me, it was probably the best decision I've ever made cos now I have twice the amount of clothes to not find anything to wear from lmao

But yeah. Idk if people being so excited about Gerard Way in a dress is for gender or attraction reasons or maybe both. Whichever is the case, I don't understand it because on top of all, I'm not just agender but also aroace and immune to attraction.