#it’s probably the next thing i’m working on improving tbh it’s just hard bc mouths are SO easy to mess up

[mumblesplash]

Re: art style my first instinct is to say the way you draw smiles specifically. I think if I saw your art reposted and that drawing was smiling I’d know it’s yours in a heartbeat.

From a more uh,, technical standpoint you’re very good and stacking lanky figures. That is to say you draw people very limber but unlike what usually happens where they then feel a little,. sparse and don’t fill a page/scene well, your drawings are very expansive and have a lot of depth to them. It probably has to do with your ability to draw very fluid poses and using that to your advantage but frankly it’s anyones guess

oh that’s cool! especially the second part bc that’s not really a thing i noticed myself. like i only recently started paying any attention to image composition at all, and i’m still in the stage where i’m kinda throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks. i’ve always cared a lot about things making sense in 3d (probably too much tbh) so maybe that’s where the sense of depth comes from?

[pockyxx]

“ how the haikyuu captains confess ”

daichi x fem! reader, kuroo x fem! reader, ushijima x fem! reader, bokuto x fem reader and oikawa x fem! reader

genre: fluff.

daichi 

people already though the two of you were dating

he always does typical boyfriend things i.e holds bags, compliments, the only thing that was missing was  physical intimacy 

he’d be on the fine line of romantic and straight forward 

he kinda already knew that you knew he liked you 

he got the team’s advice on what to do but it was useless bc they’ve never been with a girl RIP 

“Y/n, I’m glad I caught up to you!” He seemed a little more nervous than normal but you brushed it off as just nervous for his up coming practice match. 

“Hey Daichi-san, what’s up?” You closed your locker, finishing up with your own club activities. The two of you continued to walk while also keeping up the conversation, Daichi holding the door open for you. 

Your heart slightly fluttered as you walked so close with them, wondering if today was the day that Daichi was finally going to confess. One of the first years had accidentally let it slip one day when you stopped by his practice. 

“Well, actually, there’s been something on my mind. It’s been on my mind for a while, honestly.” He stopped walking, nervously opening his backpack to grab something. 

You gave him an innocent look even though it’s been a moment you’ve been waiting for for a long time. 

“I like you, y/n. Like a lot.” He extended his hand and offered you your favorite candy bar, something that he always carried around with him. “I like when I get to see your bright smile, and your laugh makes me feel so warm inside. I just like the person I am around you and how you make me want to be a better person all together.” 

It had been clear that he hadn’t exactly planned what he was going to say but it was still meaningful nonetheless. 

“It took you long enough.” You flashed a cheeky grin, “Hinata told me by accident, I’ve just been waiting for you to finally spill the beans.” You laughed, filling his heart with joy. 

“So this means you’ll let me take you on a date?” He wondered, blushing and making a mental note to make the younger boy run extra laps. You nodded rapidly, taking his hands in yours, proceeding with your walk. 

kuroo 

have you seen how he talks to his team 

he would have his confession planned for a week 

He’d be rehearsing that shit in the mirror every morning

he’d probably get really freaked out the day of though 

when you say you like him back and confess in a similar manner he’s as red as a tomato 

he practiced on kenma and get his advice

“Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you-” Kuroo was instantly cut off by his younger friend who was still glued to his game. 

“You’re really going to finish off such a sentimental confession with a stupid chemistry pick up line. That’s gross.” He commented as Kuroo was left scratching his head. He’d been planning on confessing to you for a while now but was still stuck on what to say. 

“But she loves when I made chemistry jokes.” His face dropped, conflicted with what to do. Was his friend right? Do girls not like that sort of thing? 

“Well you better decide quick because her she comes.” You had turned the corner with all their refilled water bottles and his heart began to race up. What would happen if you said you didn’t like him back? It would create such an awkward relationship between you two; which wouldn’t be good between a captain and a team manager. 

“Here are your waters.” You passed both volleyball players their drinks as you rested your hands on your hips, “what were you guys talking about?” 

Kenma kept a straight face while Kuroo flushed slightly. Pressing a finger to your lips, you thought of a way to lighten the clearly tense mood. 

“You’ve defiantly being improving your serves, Kuroo-san. I’ve been keeping ion you!” You covered your mouth, not wanted to let out a laugh at such a cheesy joke. That was Kenma’s cue to walk off, giving Kuroo the thumbs up to proceed-- it was now or never. 

“Well, there’s something you should know too, chibi-can.” He swallowed any anxious nerves he had, “You make my heart flutter every moment I see you; you just take me breath away and not just because of you looks. I like how funny you are, and you always seem to put a smile on my face. I know this is very random but I’ve been holding in my feelings for a very long time and I thought I was going to explode not being able to tell you.” 

You smiled, bashing your eyelashes, you never knew your captain had feelings for you. Heck, your crush had feelings for you. 

“So basically, what I’ve been meaning to ask is; are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you?” He held his breath, wondering if Kenma was going to be right. His heart pounded even faster at the sight of your lips twisting to an even bigger smile (if that was even possible). 

ushijima 

it could go one of two ways 

either he could be super blunt and hit you with the ‘I like you y/n.’

OR it would be over the top and only because he consulted tendou

tendou’s probably watched a handful of romance animes and has ushijima prepares chocolates, flowers, the whole 9 yards 

ushi is just nodded and taking notes like... 

just confess to her at the summer festival, girls love that, bonus points if you do it under the fire works.

tendou’s words rang through ushijimas head as he walked side by side with you at the summer festival. he’d done everything tendou had instructed him to up until that point. he’s bought you the best taiyaki, he’d let you hold his hand as to not get lost in the crowd and he’d even won you a small stuffed animal that now rested under your arm pit.

“I think the fireworks are about to start.” you hummed as wakatoshi realized he needed to get into the right position.

“then why don’t we go someone more private.” he offered you a rare smile as your cheeks started to burn up with fluster.

it wasn’t like ushijima was a cold heart person but seeing him suggest something so thoughtful, your heart fluttered with the idea that someone greater was about to happen.

nodding, you let ushijima pull you off as the two of you got a better of the sky that was soon to be filled with a display of lights. he’d taken you away from the crowd, up on a small empty lot of gross that was elevated compared to the rest of the festival.

“y/n, I enjoyed tonight.” he cleared his throat, catching your attention. you nodded in agreement,

“hopefully we can go to more festivals today, of course if your not busy with volleyball!” you smiled happily. ushijima was quick to respond.

“I’d like that very much.” he paused, “y/n, i’m often told that i don’t show emotions well or that i’m very blunt.”

you watched him with curious eyes, stating that that wasn’t all ways a bad thing.

“that’s right. this is a time where i think it’s good to be blunt. you see, y/n, i enjoy spending time with you and that i like you, very much.”

bokuto 

it accidentally slipped out 

he always gets a little shy when he think about it so he simply doesn’t 

you’ll be something fairly mundane and he’ll just pause and go 

“you do that so well, that’s why I think I’m in love with you.” 

you’d get flustered because it was so out of the blue 

he’d fill akaashi in the next day and akaashi would make him re-do the confession

“You’re so good at cleaning the white board, y/n, but I guess everything you do is good because that’s why I like you.” You and Bokuto had class room chores together after school and he was watching you, in a hazy spell, resting his hand on his head. 

You blushed, not knowing if Bokuto was actually being serious or if he was just being overly kind. You just pretended like you didn’t hear him, continuing with what you were doing. If you can confessed your feelings back and he wasn’t serious, you would’ve died of embarrassment. 

“Bokuto-san are you going to help or not?” You turned around seeing Bokuto covering his face as he rested his head on the desk. “Uh, Bokuto-san are you alright?” 

He looked up at you only for you to see what you recognized as his emo mode. You frowned your eyebrows as he jumped up, bursting out with emotion. 

“No! I just confessed to the girl that I like and, and, and I wasn’t ready!” He grabbed his bag and ran for the door, “please forgive me for not doing my share of the work, y/n.” 

You were left speechless, watching as the gray haired boy ran away. You laughed realizing what he meant and put you into such a happy mood you didn’t even care that you had to finish all the chores. 

The next morning, you were greeted at the gates of Fukuordani by Bokuto who held a box of you favorite snack and a small teddy bear. Shyly extending the gifts out to you. 

“I bet you know what I’m going to say, so just, uh, please take these.” It had been what Akaashi had instructed and you took them with pleasure. 

“These will make up for all my hard work yesterday keeping out classroom spic-and-span.” You giggle, Bokuto looked at you with pouty eyes as you continued, “and if you didn’t run out so quickly you would’ve know what I like you too.” 

His eyes gleamed as you covered your slightly blushing face with your hand. Bokuto engulfed you in a hug and the two of you becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. 

oikawa 

he’s been confessed to so much that confessions make him nauseous tbh 

he’d make it very personal and romantic, though 

if not romantic he’d want it to be just the two of you 

he knew if he told any of the third years about if his plans, they’d ruin the moment; showing up to film the whole experience (mattsun and makki) 

he would secretly be the most nervous out of all of them 

You were helping Iwaizumi and taking over his cleaning shift with Oikawa. Oikawa was kinda glad the ace had a dentist appointment, so he could finally get you alone with out his team mates or fan girls there to ruin the moment. 

“Say, y/n-chan, I’m pretty lucky to have such a pretty girl helping me clean up.” His eyes were on the ball he was rubbing the marks off of, not really seeing your expression, defended by the sound of his heart thumping rapidly. 

You frowned, liking Oikawa was no easy task because everyone seemed to like him. Sure, he complimented you now, but he always compliments girls. It hurt your heart not knowing how sincere he was. 

“Don’t worry about it Oikawa-san, I’m always happy to help.” You sighed, finishing pumping a deflated volleyball. The Oikawa you had grown to love wasn’t the pretty, flashy volleyball player but the determined captain who always brought out the best in his teammates. It was the hard working, smart and passionate Toru that made your heart do flips. 

“Y/n...” His voiced trailed off, you noticed there wasn’t a cute little ‘chan’ following it. You turned to face him, not realizing your vision had gone blurry from tears pooling in them. 

“Are you alright?” Out of concern he placed his hands in your shoulders and that seemed to snapped you out of the spell you’d fallen under.

Rubbing your eyes, you nodded, looking down at your feet to avoid Oikawa’s gaze. You wished he’d let go of you, so you heart could just go back to its normal pace.

“Y/n did I say something to upset you—Im sorry.” He seemed to be holding his breath until he saw you shake your heard, reassuring him he’d done nothing wrong. Toru sighed.

“I hate seeing you upset, do you know that?” Surpised, you looked up at him, almost beckoning him to eleborate. Oikawas mind was racing— he wasn’t planning on confessing right there and then but he decided to sieze the moment.

“Out of all the girls I talk to, you’re the only one that makes me feel like this...” With your mouth gapping he took your hand and directed it to his chest where you could feel his rapid heartbeat.

“Oikawa-san...” You trailed off, at a loss of words. Between the hand touching his toned chest and the honey-like words coming out of his mouth, it sent you into over drive.

“Everything about you makes me crazy and-and well y/n... i like you!”

Nodding off, your brain couldn’t fully comprehend what your body was doing. leaning forward, reaching up to his lips you. kiss. him.

“Woah.” Oikawa breathed out, shocked at how you reciprocated his feeling until he was brought back to his usual behaviour, “so... you wanna go out with me?”

[kagehinataboke]

i don’t really have a prompt in mind but i have this really specific idea for a tdbk high school au where Bakugou is the captain of the basketball team and Todoroki is the captain of the volleyball team and they always get into huge fights and yeah i would just die to see this au if you feel like writing it, ty sm uwu, love your writing ❤️

okay so i’ve been working on this for a while, so sorry for the late response dear!! it sounds like a fantastic idea uwu

i also got really carried away tbh haha, it’s just such a cute au~ i might eventually make it a whole story bc it’s just so dang adorable! ;u; hope you like it anon

***

“What do you mean we can’t use the court?” Bakugou slams his hands down on Principal Nezu’s desk hard enough to knock over an innocent cup of pencils. “I’ve had it booked since last week! Who the hell took it?!”

“Language, Katsuki,” Nezu scolds, calmly fixing the cup. “Shouto made a very compelling argument, so the board and I decided to—“

“Dammit, that bastard?” Bakugou sits down hard, knocking over the pencils again. “He can’t keep stealing the court! My team needs to practice, too. What did he tell you this time, huh? Is he spreading rumors about me again?”

“He’s never spread rumors about you,” Nezu sighs, setting the pencil cup on the windowsill to save it from further assault. “Katsuki, it’s simple: his team has more funding and more support from the school board. There’s nothing I can do—“

“Bullshit.” Bakugou stands up to storm out, ripping a volleyball poster off the open door on his way. “Dammit, I’ll deal with it myself. Thanks for nothing.”

Todoroki Shouto is the most annoying, aggravating, horrible person Bakugou has ever met. That asshole constantly steals the court that the basketball team needs, sabotages their attempts to gain new members—and, most importantly, he’s got the support of the entire student council and faculty. Being the captain of the basketball team means nothing when Bakugou is terrible at making social connections.

“Bro, did you ask about the court?” Kirishima appears from thin air, Kaminari and Sero on his heels. “What’d Nezu say?”

“It’s that fucker again,” Bakugou growls, storming into the gym with enough ferocity to scare first-year volleyball members out of the way. “Dammit, Todoroki!” he yells across the gym at the irritating bastard who’s preparing for a serve. “You’re fucking dead!”

“Wait, you can’t just kill him!” Kirishima quickly grabs Bakugou by the arms, saving Todoroki’s shitty fucking pretty boy face in the nick of time.

“Ah, I see you found out about the gym.” Todoroki hands his ball to the vice-captain, Iida, and crosses his arms. “Did you come to fight me for it?”

Bakugou struggles against Kirishima’s grip, but it only gets him an inch closer to Todoroki’s irritatingly calm, unflinching face. “You must think this is a real fucking riot, huh, interfering with everything my team does?! This isn’t over, you fucking Half bastard!”

“You say that every time,” Todoroki calls after him as Kirishima and the others drag him away. “See you later, I guess.”

“Fuck you!”

***

“You’re the worst,” Bakugou says vehemently between impatient kisses down Todoroki’s pale throat. “You’re the worst fucking person I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Yes, I know.” Todoroki’s fingernails dig into his shoulders, spreading pinpricks of heat down his back. Bakugou wants to take a picture of his ruined expression and frame it. “Hey“—the bastard’s gasping now—“don’t leave marks.”

“Shut up.” Bakugou bites his collarbone spitefully, igniting Todoroki’s yelp. “You piss me the hell off. Give me back my court and I’ll consider being less rough.” He accentuates the threat with another bite. Fuck Todoroki Shouto and his dumbass ‘no marks’ bullshit. As if Bakugou would listen to him when he’s pissed off—or, fuck, even when he isn’t.

“Blackmailing me won’t work,” Todoroki replies with the same irritatingly docile expression. “I like it rou—“ He gasps when Bakugou kisses him harshly on the mouth. He was just about to say he likes it rough, this motherfucker.

Yes, Bakugou despises Todoroki more than anyone else in the world—but that may be the exact reason he likes seeing him defenseless and at his complete mercy so damn much. Hate-fucking him in a janitor’s closet has become a perpetual, reluctant, and mostly accidental habit that he tries to refrain from… but never can.

After they’re finished, Bakugou always feels like something is left unresolved, and no amount of cursing or regret will fix it. The two-tone bastard Todoroki doesn’t seem to share his thoughts, though. “Hey… You should come to my game tomorrow.”

“What, you mean the one that you stole my gym time to practice for?” Bakugou scoffs while pulling on his wrinkled jersey. “How about fuck you?”

“You do a good enough job of that on your own,” Todoroki replies evenly, slipping on his red practice jacket and zipping it up to his neck to hide the dark blemishes there. “You left hickeys all over me again, so it’s really the least you could do.”

“Just because I sometimes fuck you in closets doesn’t make us friends, or anything close to it,” Bakugou reminds, slinging his practice duffel over his shoulder and flipping off Icy Hot on his way out. “I still don’t fucking like you. Bye.”

“It’s at three o’clock!” Todoroki calls after him before the door closes, pissing Bakugou off even more. He won’t do this ever again, he swears—and he definitely won’t go to that stupid fucking game, either.

***

“You’re going to the volleyball game?” Kirishima is so surprised that he misses his free-throw, and the rogue basketball hits Kaminari in the head. “But… why?”

“Oi, proper passes asshole!” Bakugou yells at a first-year before answering, “I thought about it, and it’s a good chance for revenge. That dick Todoroki is always stealing members and support from us, so it’s time to get back at him.”

Kaminari pauses mid-dribble to raise an eyebrow disbelievingly. “That’s the only reason? You sure?”

“What exactly are you implying, huh?” Bakugou elbows him on his way to center court. “What other reason could there be? I’m just going to fuck with him.”

“But do you really even hate Todoroki, though?” Kaminari asks with a frown. “I mean, you guys are like… Ugh, you know when two people both like and hate each other at the same time? You’re, like, uh… Help me out here, Kirishima.”

“Frenemies?”

“Frenemies! You guys are like frenemies. I mean, you wouldn’t be so bothered by that guy if you didn’t like him at least a little.”

“Fuck you,” Bakugou scoffs, smacking the basketball out of his hand. “I’m going for sabotage reasons: that’s it.”

“Me too!” Sero calls suddenly from across the gym, elbowing a first-year in the chest when he throws his hand up. After apologizing and passing his ball to Shinsou, he trips over to them. “I wanna come, too. Uh, you know, to help with the espionage.”

Kaminari rolls his eyes. “You guys have fun, then. I’m not going.”

“Nobody fucking asked you to.” Bakugou takes a position at the three-point line. “I only told you two so you’d keep an eye on practice for me.” He takes a shot and it sails straight into the basket. “Just make sure nobody dies—and for fuck’s sake, get these shitty first-years to improve their damn passes!”

“Aren’t you worried Principal Nezu will be mad if you’re there?” Kirishima interjects. “He knows you hate Todoroki’s guts. He’ll definitely suspect something.”

“He won’t suspect shit.” Bakugou pulls the sweatband off his wrist and tosses it to Kaminari with a smirk. “Just wait and see: I’ll pay that pretty boy over ten-fucking-fold.”

“Pretty boy?” Kirishima echoes.

“Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou makes another three-pointer, but he can’t focus on his game when the memory of Todoroki’s stupid face is haunting him. Sometimes he can’t get the look of that bastard out of his head—of Todoroki’s parted lips and splayed hips; of Bakugou’s own hands on that delicate porcelain skin.

Shit, he already wants to break his promise and fuck him again. If he goes to the game and sees Todoroki playing, he might just have to. Sweaty skin, a neckline low enough to show off the marks Bakugou left, and those tight, tight shorts— Oh fuck, he’s totally done for.

Shit, Bakugou’s riled up now. He passes his ball to Kirishima with an irritated scoff. “Fucking take this. I’ll be right back.”

“What? Wait, where are you—“

Bakugou slams through the gym doors before he can finish his sentence, punching a locker hard enough to dent it. “Calm down,” he orders himself. His body is basically flipping him off, though. “I hate him. I hate him.” He has to say it twice to make it sound believable. Lately, Bakugou has been struggling to put a name to his feelings. Hate is there, but it’s not the only thing he feels anymore. Why did he become closer to Todoroki in the first place? How can he possess him one second and let him go the next? It doesn’t make any sense if he takes time to think about it.

“Fuck.” Bakugou punches the locker again. Pain is one thing he has no trouble feeling. “Fuck,” he says again, resting his head against the dented metal.

Maybe he shouldn’t go. If he sees Todoroki at the game, he’ll… Well, he honestly doesn’t know what he’ll do. Hit him? Maybe. Kiss him? Probably. Fuck him again? Almost definitely.

***

The amount of people that show up to a volleyball game is… depressing. Bakugou has never seen a crowd of more than eighty people at a basketball game, but there’s well over a hundred here. He’s scowling as he sits down in a seat where that bastard Todoroki won’t see him. What is it about volleyball? Basketball is way fucking harder. Sure, Bakugou’s never seen a volleyball game before, but their practices look easy as hell. Dammit, he’s forgetting why he came here: there’s a job to do.

“Sero, did you remember to bring it?” Bakugou whispers, keeping his eyes trained on the court. The Half bastard hasn’t shown up yet. “Sero? Sero— For fuck’s sake, what are you doing?”

Sero jumps, quickly ripping his gaze away from the face of the volleyball tram’s vice-captain. “Oh, uh… sorry. I brought it.” He digs in his bag to retrieve a package of marbles. “Isn’t this plan too childish, though? And some people could get seriously hurt.”

“It’s just fucking marbles. Don’t be a pussy.” Bakugou snatches the package from him and rips it open. “As soon as the game hits the second set, you trip me and spill these all over the court. Got it?”

“Yeah,” Sero agrees reluctantly, eyeing Iida again. It’s no secret he’s got a thing for him. “…I got it.”

“Good. Stay on your toes and…” Bakugou’s mouth goes completely dry when Todoroki steps onto the court. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something… different about the way he looks right now. His eyes are filled with such unnerving intensity that it makes Bakugou shiver. He could be thinking about his classes or the hickeys that are just visible above the collar of his uniform, but his mind seems laser-focused on the game ahead.

Fuck, he’s beautiful. Who the fuck gave him the right to be this hot? Bakugou silently drinks up the sight of him running, jumping, blocking—everything that makes his heart slam suicidally against his chest cavity. Point after point; Todoroki’s team scores again and again, easily taking the first set. Bakugou doesn’t even remember what he’s supposed to be doing until Sero’s shoulder roughly smacks into his arm.

He falls forward, throwing out his hands to right himself. As he does, the marble package slips from his hands, cascading over the heads of the row in front of them to tumble across the gym floor. The world stops, time crawling to a painful halt. Todoroki had been mid-jump, about to serve. The marbles have spread across the court, and he lands on one almost immediately. The chaos is more broad-spread than expected: both teams are down.

Everyone is too busy panicking to look for the source of the incident, but Todoroki’s gaze pierces straight through the crowd. Bakugou makes direct eye contact with him before vaulting the bleacher railing and disappearing into the hall. He fucked up. Or, no, he succeeded. He wanted to cause destruction, and he most definitely did. But, then… why does he feel so shitty?

He embarrassed Todoroki. Wasn’t that his goal from the start? He has no reason to be filled with… What is this feeling, anyway? Guilt? No fucking way. Bakugou refuses to even think about feeling guilty. But staring at the locker he punched, the sensation builds and builds until it’s unbearable. It was an accident. Even if he was planning it, it was still an accident. But fuck, he shouldn’t have to justify it at all. What the hell—

A fist catches him in the jaw “What the fuck—“ Bakugou gasps when hands seize him by the collar, slamming him against the dented locker. It’s hard to believe what he’s seeing. “What… Todoroki?”

Bakugou has never seen Todoroki angry before, and he wishes he didn’t have to see it now. His stormy eyes are full of raw, unbridled rage. He’s quite clearly pissed off. The emotion is even clearer in his voice. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

The question is so cold and serious that it’s impossible to give a joking response. “I… didn’t mean to.”

“You’re lying.” Todoroki’s fists clench against Bakugou’s shirt. “I invited you because I thought things could change, but they can’t, can they?” The anger drains from his eyes as quickly as it appeared, grip slackening on Bakugou’s collar. “You must… really hate me, huh?”

The words feel like bullets. Why does it hurt so much to hear them? Bakugou does hate him. He hates looking at him and hearing his voice and being powerless against his charm. But he can’t stop coming back for more and more of Todoroki Shouto, like he’s a drug. A drug with too many damn side-effects. Doubt, insecurity, fear, and something else… Something deeper that’s too hard to think about.

“So it’s true?” Todoroki shakes his head and releases him when Bakugou doesn’t say anything. “I guess this is it, then. I’m done being the object of your amusement. This isn’t a game.” He backs a few steps away, but the distance feels like miles.

If he keeps going, there won’t be a problem: Bakugou can probably go on believing he despises him. But the Half bastard always has to ruin everything, so he stops and looks over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth… I never once hated you.”

Dammit. Why did it have to be this way? It would be so much easier if Todoroki hated him. They could keep being at odds with each other, fighting over who gets to use the gym, bickering with Nezu about club funding. In the end, though, that’s impossible. Bakugou knows deep down what he wanted from the start—what he still wants now. He can’t make complete sense of his emotions, but… maybe he doesn’t have to.

“Todoroki.” Bakugou is surprised by the rawness of his voice. He’s supposed to be walking away, not closer. “Don’t.”

Don’t… what? Don’t go, don’t stay? He’s even confusing himself. But there’s no going back now: Todoroki has turned to face him again, lips parted in a yet-to-be-voiced question. Bakugou doesn’t let him speak, taking him by the wrist. Where his fingers touch Todoroki’s soft skin, he can feel a rapid-fire pulse. It skyrockets even more when they kiss.

Todoroki loses his balance, gripping fistfuls of Bakugou’s shirt when he slams him against the dented locker. A noise of protest rumbles from the back of his throat when Bakugou’s tongue slips into his mouth, but he could care less. His head is screaming. This stupidly annoying, beautiful bastard is all he wants right now. Fuck, is this what he’s been waiting for? For this shot of clarity? 

He doesn’t hate Todoroki Shouto at all. He never did. No, in fact, he just might be madly in love with him.

With a gasp, Todoroki finally manages to separate their mouths. “What the… hell do you… think you’re doing?”

He’s so out of breath that he can barely speak. Doesn’t this dumbass know to breathe through his nose? It pisses Bakugou off even more. “You god damn idiot.” He presses Todoroki’s back harder against the locker. “‘This isn’t a game’? I never saw this as a fucking game, asshole. You started shit with me, and I wanted to finish it.”

Todoroki grabs his wrist, eyes aflame again. “I’m not the one who picks fights with you. I admit that I don’t treat you properly, but I never start things directly. You’re the one who’s always hanging around, threatening me.” He scoffs softly. “It’s because you hate me, isn’t that right? You despise me.”

“Motherfucker…” Bakugou slams his fist against the wall to keep from punching Todoroki’s stupid fucking pretty face. “Are you stupid? I’ve never once said I hate you, Half n’ Half. Not fucking once.”

“You’re going to tell me you don’t? After everything you’ve done?” Todoroki pushes his head away from the wall, eyes steely. “Why would I ever believe you?”

Fuck. Does Bakugou have to say it? To say it will mean admitting it to himself first. Can he do that? Can he throw away years of resentment so easily? Then again, maybe that resentment has been disappearing for a while. When was the last time he thought about Todoroki with disgust? Or, rather… has he ever?

“I don’t hate you,” Bakugou mutters eventually. All the strength rushes out of him, and he drops his head against Todoroki’s shoulder. “I don’t hate you at all. I think I actually… Fuck. I think I actually like you a lot.”

It’s been a long time since Bakugou’s told the truth like this. Todoroki’s eyes convey his shock at the pure honesty in the words, but he doesn’t get a chance to respond. People are filing out of the gym, their loud voices carrying down the hallway—including Todoroki’s teammates.

“Fuck,” Bakugou mutters, backing up down the hall. “I’ll… see you later.”

Todoroki starts to protest, but Bakugou has already turned to run.

***

Bakugou isn’t sure how far or for how long he’s walked, but he should’ve been home twenty minutes ago. Ha… Not like it matters. What the fuck has he gone and done? He confessed to Todoroki, even though his feelings are a total mess. God, he’s so fucking dead. Why the fuck would he go and say such stupid shit?

“Ugh… Fuck me.” Bakugou collapses on a park bench, tearing his hands through his hair. “Dammit. Fucking idiot. What the hell is wrong with you, Katsuki? Oh my god, I can never show my face at school again. I’ll move to fucking Osaka and start bartending or some shit. Fuck. I wanna die…”

“Bakugou?”

For a moment, he thinks he must be imagining things. Why, at the peak of his misery, would Todoroki appear to worsen things? The universe can’t possibly be that cruel. Oh, but of course it can. Todoroki Shouto is standing in front of him, wearing casual clothes and a streetlight halo. Fuck. He’s as stupidly beautiful as ever. The universe really is an asshole, isn’t it?

“How did you find me?” is all Bakugou can manage to say. He hasn’t been yelling, but his voice is raw.

“I live near here. I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk.” Todoroki’s eyes glow in the soft fluorescent lamplight when he takes a step closer. “Are you… okay?”

“You shouldn’t be asking me that, asshole.” Bakugou lowers his head, too embarrassed to look him in the face. They’ve been in far more intimate situations, yet this somehow feels like the most exposing of all. “Just go back home. I’m not ready to talk yet.”

Of course, Todoroki never listens to him. He sits down, close enough for their shoulders to touch. “Did you mean what you said back there?”

“I’m not a fucking liar,” Bakugou grumbles irritably. “I meant it, even if I don’t fully understand it. I like you.” He lets out a breath. What a tremendous weight that’s been lifted… “Fuck. I like you so fucking much, it hurts.”

For the first time since they met, Bakugou lets himself look at Todoroki without a hint of anger. The other emotions that take its place are immediately overwhelming, and Bakugou can’t stop himself from reaching out to brush a fingertip across Todoroki’s soft bottom lip. It’s different from the way he’s touched him before, always full of mindless lust and spite. This is a gentle ache; one that starts in his chest and gradually moves through his whole body like a wildfire.

Todoroki’s breath catches quietly, which is more than enough to send Bakugou into cardiac arrest. He wants him. He wants all of him right now, but in a much different way than before. Rather than doing it to hurt him, Bakugou wants Todoroki Shouto to willingly belong to him. He wants to touch him so gently that he forgets everything else in the world.

“Can I…” Bakugou starts, voice deep and raspy with unchecked desire. His composure is steadily dissolving. Fuck, he wants to melt into him like ice cream on hot pavement. 

Thank god, Todoroki wants it as much as he does. He’s barely finished nodding before Bakugou’s tongue is in his mouth, fingers sliding under his sweatshirt. Fuck, his skin is soft. His saliva tastes like fucking peppermint. Was kissing him always this good? Bakugou’s thirst for him is utterly insatiable. Shit. Hate-fucking is nothing compared to whatever this is.

“Wait,” Todoroki gasps when Bakugou’s hand slips up his inner leg. “Not here, Bakugou—“

“First name,” Bakugou interrupts gruffly, gripping Todoroki’s thigh tighter to shut him up. He’s been waiting for this for a long time, he realizes. Fuck, it’s too good. “If you like me, use my first name.”

Todoroki doesn’t even hesitate. “Katsuki,” he whispers in an absolutely disastrous way. “Katsuki, I like you, too. I like you.”

Fuck, those damn words… He’s definitely trying to destroy him. But even so, it feels too amazing to care. Wreck me, Bakugou wants to say. Bite me. Break me. Bloody me. Tear me up completely.

To be destroyed by Todoroki Shouto might be all he’s ever wanted.

[happypledis]

If you're up for it would it be alright to ask for your take on Jeonghan and Joshua's voices? To me they seem like the ones that consistently and visibly improve every comeback

Hi! I’m sorry this took sooo long. I’ve been prepping for school/a job/recovering after getting sick. Plus the research too! (I even equipped my sis to help too so some of this is ghost written by her lol)

Joshua and Jeonghan both trained for a really short time, and Jeonghan didn’t seem to have any background in singing at all. Joshua only had learned a bit to sing at his church (so I imagine he came in knowing basics, plus maybe harmony, and how to sing with instruments, with others, etc.). I believe that anyone who starts out with less training will naturally improve as they practice. That’s why the main vocals, Hoshi, and Woozi–all who were at the top vocally before debut–show less improvement: their foundation was already stronger than others’. 

I’ll start with Jeonghan:

His voice has improved a lot for sure.  However, just like 99% of kpop idols and most other seventeen members, he has some nasality. For him it’s not super off putting, but it’s there and pretty strong sometimes. Tbh I have it too and it’s hard to get rid of, though. Like I said in my Aron post, companies don’t really care about getting rid of it though bc most don’t care about proper technique. The singing career isn’t meant to last as long as the modeling/acting ones, in companies’ opinions. I feel like pledis needs to work on this aspect but they really have worked on making their idols develop some good habits most companies don’t think of--like, planking/running to develop more stamina etc.

 Jeonghan has a very soft voice–but, surprisingly, he can do some belting/does stuff in a fuller voice than one would assume based off that. He’s good at singing with a partner, even when they ad lib or sing harmony in the background, instead of going off key (you can notice this in the Interview cover with Seungkwan). I personally go offkey in those situations a lot lol so props to him. My sis pointed out, he’s able to sing quick/wordy lines accurately–it’s very easy to get offbeat or mispronounce words when going fast but he doesn’t. I’ll contrast this point with Joshua a bit later. Jeonghan’s solo song was sooo good, it really shows to me a lot of improvement strength wise and also versatility wise. He can do a lot and express a lot. Overall, Jeonghan improved his vocal stamina sooo much. Originally he’d be tired after a few lines and his voice seemed to get more tired throughout promotion periods. But now!! He’s out here dancing with no breaks for Hit, and still making it through! I can’t really pinpoint exact problems, mostly just a lack of support and proper breathing, which = harmful to your vocal chords. There’s not really any specific examples or things I personally can mention in his improvement the way I’m about to for Joshua. However, as always I welcome others more knowledgeable than me to join in.

For Joshua, he also has a very soft voice as well. He does a good job not visibly straining (aka, popping veins out on his throat lol). He is just very laid back. That’s a good thing for his vocal health and suggests it’s decent to me, .

In the past, I don’t think he always has things as open as he should–if you watch his mouth when he sang, he keeps it very… closed? He’s usually singing run of the mill simpler lines so it probably doesn’t matter at this level, but I think it made him have a harder time projecting his voice. He seems to have gotten better here when you watch him sing nowadays though!

I heard this recently–loudly audible gasping breaths can signify a tighter throat. (cough reading that was a callout for me lol) This can be heard, for example, throughout his cover with Minhyun here. But starting in 2018 to now it seems like he doesn’t do that anymore? If so, yay Josh! Improvement there for sure.

Before, he also COULD have had problems with breath support. He misses a vowel at 1:31–it should be “Isseo” but he just said “iss” and immediately took a breath for the next line. I think he wasn’t using proper breath support/breathing techniques to help him last long enough to make it through. I personally don’t have the best myself, and I had someone tell me that pretty recently lol, but even I could make it through those lines properly. However, in recent stuff, he’s much improved in this area.

I feel like one of his best performances is 100% his 2018 solo song Can’t Live with Losing You. His voice has a little husk or grit to it! Which shows he is more comfortable experimenting with changing his sound. He normally just sings in the same style. Also, his voice sounds much stronger here, even throughout a solo. And the part where he says “Wanna spend my life in love with you”/ and then “come into my groove.” Do you hear the little higher parts vs the lower parts? They just sound really neat and vulnerable and just??? And like there’s a little break in his voice? It’s a nice touch. He seems to KNOW his voice a lot better now,

He used to have a slightly weak register/falsetto. You can check here. Also in one pretty u performance especially, his voice cracked when he jumped off the couch. However, he really doesn’t do that anymore. His falsetto and upper range seem to be more developed. Though I really do like his low range and it always was pretty good, as shown here! It’s the range I prefer for him actually!

Anywho, thanks again for being patient anon. These things actually take quite a bit of time to find, watch, and rewatch, and also to sort out my thoughts. I do have to admit I’m not the MOST knowledgeable about it, so if anyone who knows more than me can correct/add anything, you’re welcome to!

[hyyunjinn]

Things I Love About Stray Kids (2/∞)

a/n: hello, this is gonna be a series now because 1) I’m really happy this week, like I legit haven’t been this genuinely happy in a long time and 2) I love them more than I thought sO HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Chan

okay, this is sad but, the fact that he believes he’s the only one who carries the team? he’s blaming himself for the eliminations and didn’t even want to rejoice with everyone else because he wanted them to forgive him first. like no chan, it was never your fault--you already do so much for the team and everyone knows that. but it’s definitely admirable 

HIS FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP WITH THE REST OF JYPN IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, PUREST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD U G H HE’S LIKE THE LITTLE BROTHER OF EVERYONE WHILE HE’S ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HIS GROUP LIKE YES WHAT A CONTRAST IT’S SO CUTE

that *O* face he does is super cute yo

hiS CURLY HAIR IS S U C H a look

“i really love you guys”

^^ gave me a heart attack

HIS HAPPY CHEESY SMILE ALSDFJLASDF THAT COMPLETELY LIGHTS UP HIS FACE

his awkwardness lmao 

hello can we have a mini series of chan’s kitchen please

Woojin

“HI HELLO”

^^ HE ALREADY SAID THAT MULTIPLE TIMES AND ALSDFJSD SAME BC IDK IF THAT’S A REF TO DAY6 OR NOT BUT THE WAY HE SAYS IT IS SO CUTE

yo his killing parts in aLL THE SONGS S I G H 

i love watching him perform

um, his model poses are--ACTUALLY ALL OF HIS SELFIES AND NON-OFFICIAL PHOTOS ARE SUPER CUTE YO HE’S CUTE

giving his pizza crust to chan slkfjdasfd

HIS FOREHEAD YO

that dark blue, red cuffed plaid flannel he wore last ep? A BLESSING

he seems so insecure ever since the “not a main vocal” criticism and like? he’s working so hard? so fill up his role because he feels like he doesn’t uphold it? like idk what “not a main vocal” means but i just want everyone to appreciate how much he’s taking care of himself to improve

Minho

HELLO MY BABY IS BACK AND GONNA BE IN THE CENTER FOR THE DANCES AND BE SLAYING YO THIS ISN’T EVEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SK ANYMORE IT’S ME YELLING ABOUT MINHO’S FXKN COMEBACK BECAUSE DO YOU SEE THE TEASERS FOR NEXT WEEK--SUCH AN AMAZING DANCER I LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF HIM

SUCH A POWERFUL VISUAL HE ALREADY GOT TWO FANSITES--HYUNJIN IS SHAKING 

he, can dance to Lie, Begin, Dope, Blood Sweat and Tears, Spring Day, idk probably all BTS songs w h a t  t a l e n t

HE EVEN APPEARS LIKE THREE TIMES IN AN OFFICIAL BTS PHOTOBOOK LIKE I STAN A LEGEND

okay but also, we have to talk about that brown jacket/striped shirt look he wore last ep bc it iS C U T E 

he’s also that lowkey weird that if you don’t catch it, you won’t know so he passes off as the normal one of the group and it makes it x4837234 more funnier

did I already say this a millio--I LOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM

him giving up on Felix’s Korean

also, the fact that his earrings are just these black circles and tbh it’s sorta hot b y e

bonus: i miss him so much and i really really really i need more content of him and get to know him better before i combust

Changbin

is so willing to help everyone in the group oh man he’s so kind

doesn’t even get mad when everyone picks on him and just goes along with it

I KNOW EVERYONE HAS SAID THIS BUT IT’S AMAZING HOW HE COMPLETELY DESTROYED HIS “DARK CONCEPT” IN THE FIRST EPISODE AND NOW EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE “CHANGBINNIE YOU’RE SO CUTE I LOVE YOU”

goes with the flow of things so well--he gets along with everyone pretty nicely and I think that’s pretty cool

“AH”

tbhlowkeysortadonewithjypbutthatsjustwhatithinksodontquotemeonthis

H I S  B O Y F R I E N D  O U T F I T S man changbin stans how you doin

what was that extra pose when taking a picture like klasjdflskadf 

WHAT WAS THAT POST ICE SKATING DATE PIC WITH HIM ON THE TABLE

Hyunjin

PHOTOGRAPHER!HYUNJIN MY ABSOLUTE FAVE CONCEPT

like laying on the ground for the perfect angle? wHAT A MOOD

wait, fanboy!hyUNJIN WHEN HE JUST OBVIOUSLY STARES AT JINYOUNG OH MY GOSH YOU COULDN’T BE LESS OBVIOUS I LOVE THIS KID

how he wants so badly to improve? i really admire how much effort he’s putting into his rap and it’s really amazing to watch and hear the improvement since hellevator 

“YAH”

he seems like he has his life together and has a pretty nonchalant facade but seeing through the cracks of his insecurities makes him so human and like him so much more than i think i would? 

HE’S ALWAYS DANCING HONESTLY THAT’S SO CUTE WHAT A NERD

UM HIS GIGGLES GET ME EVERY TIME PLEASE STOP A T T A C K I N G ME HONESTLY

ASKLDJF GOTTA BRING THIS BACK BUT WHEN HE JUST SLIDES AND OPENS HIS MOUTH FOR CHAN TO FEED HIM WAS SO FUNNY I’M NOT OVER IT

Jisung

that fKN KILLING PART IN YOUNG WINGS LSKADJFALSDF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE LITTLE GIGGLE HE DID AT THE END OF STRAY CUTS 4 

he’s so bright and happy and optimistic everyone needs a Jisung in our lives

casually just smushes his face into the camera so i can see his pretty eyes duh thanks kid

okay but when he was singing that parody of Don’t Wanna Cry he did this little thing to his vOICE THAT SOUNDS SO AMAZING I CAN’T GET OVER IT LIKE LAKSJDFLASDF WTF TA L E N T

he’s so annoying i love him asldkfjasdf like idk if i like him behind the cam and annoying his members or on screen doing something weird honestly probably both

THAT PICTURE CHANGBIN TOOK OF HIM BITING THE CHAIN LSKADFJSDF EWWW LMAO

WOAH WHEN WE SAW A GLIMPSE OF PRODUCER JISUNG THAT WAS SO COOL 

no but seriously? he’s so optimistic and supports everyone and he’s so wonderful and kind and super talented but i think we know that and s i g h i hope ya’ll appreciate this mess of a boy bc OH MY GOSH I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE BRACES JISUNG HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Felix

honestly, i really just like his black hair and i think ya’ll should know this 

he’s such a hard worker?? when he showed us the time at 5 in the morning--I have a feeling he stayed up that long rather than waking up at 5 kid don’t do that it’s not healthy but! he’s doing so much and it’s amazing

OKAY BUT LIKE, THAT PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY WHEN HE TOLD CHANGBIN TO KISS HIM LIKE ALSKDFJSLDF MINHO WAS SO READY TO STRANGLE HIM ONLY FOR HIM TO BE LIKE “hyung kiss me” alskdjfasldf what is with him

“annyeonghaseyo“ in thAT DEEP VOICE OF HIS BABY OH MAN WHAT A WAY TO COME BACK

his orange smile laskfjdlasdf

him adjusting jeongin’s outfit was so cute hehe

the way he clings onto jisung is super cUTE UGH THEY’RE LIKE ATTACHED BY THE HIP AND IT’S SO CUTE idk if it’s bc they’re a day apart so they’re like “WE’RE TWINS NOW” or bc jisung can speak english apparently? something like that?

i think people forget that he’s more than just a meme and a deep voiced boy? i love watching him practice dancing in the background and like? he’s part of dance line? LET ME SEE HIM DANCE MORE OMG

ASKLDFJSDAFL WHEN HE MESSED UP ON THAT ONE WORD AND MNET HAD TO EDIT IN THE MISSING CHARACTER ASKLDFJSD THAT WAS SO FUNNY YOU WERE SO CLOSE KID

Seungmin

HELLO THIS IS MY UNDERRATED BABY WHO DESERVES THE WORLD bc he’s funny as heck guys why do you not notice this

honestly im gonna say it agaiN: HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONs especially when he has that dumb dazed look askldfjasdf what a boy

messes around with Jeongin in the back

when he cornered jeongin u H 

he writes things in his journal to improve! and he is! 

i really hope he stands out a little bit more when he performs! i hope he’s working on it! but I also like how if you are a seungmin stan, you’ll notice the small things he does when he performs and it’s like a little secret only people who deserve to know, knows and he knows it’s just between him and his fans saklfjsadf

when he decides to be a lil sht like that one time chan and hyunjin was arguing and he’s just like “we’ll take three ramens and a packet of dumplings” or something like that 

can i just say that his clothing style is probably my favorite because i gush about each outfit he wears like all the time?

he’s so into singing and you can see it every time he does and it’s wonderful

Jeongin

WHEN HE WAS CRINGING BECAUSE OF HIS PARENTS: WHAT A MOOD

WHEN HE GUNNED HIMSELF BECAUSE OF JISUNG’S KILLING PART: WHAT A MOOD PT 2

WHEN HE ESCAPED JISUNG’S WRATH AND RAN TO THE OTHER SIDE AND CHEEKILY WAVED AT HIM: WHAT A MOOD PT 3

his escalator impression was hecka nice

OKAY WE BARELY SAW IT BUT LIKE? THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE FINALLY PRAISING HIM BECAUSE HE SPENT ALL THOSE TIMES PRACTICING BY HIMSELF TO STRENGTHEN HIS VOICE I’M SO PROUD OF HIM 

this baby always has a smile on his face and it’s the most infectious smile ever and i love him i love him please stay as happy as you can be because you deserve everything and more

*screeches* HIS BANDANNA LOOK IN SCHOOL LIFE KLASDJFASD I LOVE IT SO MUCH

when he was all shy shy with all the girls screaming his name at the busking: tag yourself i was the girls spiritually yelling his name

hAH I ALSO SEE THE BLACKPINK FANBOY IN HIM OHOHO THAT’S SUPER CUTE 

[queenmabscherzo]

I love love love Targeting!! But not as much as I just about WORSHIP Strong Safety😍😍😍 So I would loovvveee a DVD commentary on the scene when Steve rubs Bucky's feet after he got hurt in a game with The Vikings (middle of chapter 5)

oh this is so sweet! strong safety was A JOY to write and it’s so wildly different from targeting, i’m glad you like it:):)

ask me for dvd commentary

“Sit down, then, geez, sit down,” Steve says, steering Bucky onto the nearest couch cushion.

Bucky settles stiffly into his seat. He leans forward, reaching for his shoes, but stops half-way and groans. (relatable)

Steve drops to his knees.

“Let me.”

(fun fact about this foot rub: it was originally in Targeting. i wrote it to take place when steve went to bucky’s hotel room after that game in Chicago, and after bucky talked about his injuries. i thought it was too intimate at that point, so then i moved it to after the championship, before they sleep together at steve’s house. i didn’t love it there, either, because it was too Serious at that point in the story. but i like it, so i’m v glad it worked in strong safety.) 

Bucky doesn’t even answer, just sinks back against the couch.

Steve smiles. “You were amazing tonight.” He begins untying Bucky’s shoe and sliding it off.

“Well, we lost, so.” Bucky rubs one eye. “That Viking quarterback is a freak. Like he’s some kind of Norse god or some shit.” (couldn’t resist)

“Yeah,” Steve chuckles and gives Bucky’s calf a gentle squeeze. “Want the socks off, too?”

“Oh my god Rogers, what is with your weird sock thing.”

“It’s not weird!” (it is weird and if isaiah were they he would agree and also egg bucky on)

“You probably wear socks in the shower,” he teases and gives Steve’s thigh a gentle kick.

“I don’t, and you know it.” (👀👀👀)

Bucky tips his head back and closes his eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but he looks like someone who’s about to smile. (it’s called ‘being relaxed’ and bucky never ever is, so)

“What happened?” Steve asks, feeling serious again. He tugs the laces of Bucky’s shoe. “Sam said—” neck injury, helmet-to-helmet, doctors, unresponsive, "—well, he said it looked bad on the replays.“ (POOR SAM!!!! he’d never admit it but u kno he’s a lil worried about bucky!!!!!)

"Not really,” Bucky murmurs. (sometimes some of the worst hits are somehow completely harmless. football is insane.)

(side note, yeah i’m wildly aware of all the problems surrounding football and all contact sports, for that matter. but here we are. like as long football is around, might as well talk about it.)

Steve slides off the other shoe and sets it aside. For a second, he looks at Bucky’s feet, both gathered in his lap. (one sock on and one sock off at this point) (keeping track of those shoes and socks was annoying while writing) “You were on the ground for a long time,” he says softly.

“Ugh,” Bucky sighs. “They wouldn’t let me up until I answered a bunch of questions. (concussion protocol in the NFL has improved a lot in the past couple years. again, like i said, still has lots of problems. but there are specialists on the sidelines who give rigorous tests after every injury that even COULD involve the head. they try. bucky was in good hands, or at least as good as possible.) Like made sure my neck was stable. It was fine.”

“You passed all the quizzes?” Steve slips a hand up Bucky’s pant leg and removes the other sock.

Bucky huffs a laugh. “I guess.”

“So what’s the sling for?” Steve asks.

“They called it a shoulder sub-something. I don’t know. It’s not actually dislocated.” (shoulder subluxation. it’s a weakness in the connective tissues in the shoulder, sort of a partial-dislocation. it can be caused by previous injuries, such as …. EVERYTHING bucky has gone through)

“Good.”

“Yeah, they’re just icing it and keeping it steady and everything. I can take it all off when we go to bed.” this kind of ice pack thing, plus a sling:

Breathless, he presses his thumb into Bucky’s calf. “So how’s your head?”

“Physically or emotionally.”

“Physically.” Priorities.

“Fuck.” Bucky scrubs his face with his free hand. “Mild concussion.”

“Oh, Bucky—” (i’m literally steve, i’m like “oh buck come the fuck on i knew you were hiding something that’s serious shit bro FJKALFJAL”)

“Mild, Steve, I promise it’s mild. They did a baseline when I got to Carolina, so it’s really easy to figure out the brain stuff, now.”

They did a baseline test, of course they did a baseline test; these people know what’s wrong with Bucky and they know how to fix it. Of course. (I mean …… it’s still not ideal to have like, what, 4-5 concussions before you turn 25. hhhhhhhhhh. but still. i wanted to take care of bucky but still give him a REALLY VALID reason to FUCKING RETIRE ALREADY.)

“I promise,” Bucky says it again, and says it smaller.

Steve tilts forward. He slides Bucky’s pant leg up so he can press a kiss to the soft hollow next to Bucky’s knee cap. (other than the shoes and socks and keeping track of when they came off, the most annoying thing about writing this scene was THOSE PANTS!!!! i really wanted steve to kiss bucky’s kneecaps, it’s not thAT HARD, but then he had to wear pants and i’m like, why am i writer) He stays there and breathes for a moment, puffs of warm air fogging against Bucky’s skin. It smells like sharp spices.

“You take a shower already?” Steve mouths the words against Bucky’s knee. (like can’t you just imagine lips fitting into the little dip of soft skin around his knee joint ……?) (no that’s prob just me)

“Yup.” Bucky’s muscles roll under Steve’s lips. “Sorry.”

Steve laughs. “We can make up for it later.” (Can’t believe i have written like two hundred thousand words of gay football action and there have been no sexytimes in a shower) He tilts his head to kiss the soft tissue under Bucky’s knee. He’s starting to forget anatomy. But it’s a good spot, soft and warm, with coarse dark hair and a little bit of give under Steve’s lips. Bucky would know what it’s called—which ligament bends where, which soft spot is vulnerable and which bones protect the sinews. (bucky “it’s a paired muscle” barnes)

Bucky straightens his leg a little and curls his toes into Steve’s side. Steve flinches and laughs.

“If you tickle me, I won’t rub your feet,” Steve threatens.

“Yeah you will,” Bucky calls his bluff.

Steve has never been happier to be called out.

(oh and now we get into the actual massage and let me tell you, i felt every second of this) (i don’t even get foot rubs that often because i’m so ticklish and it freaks me out, but boy. i know that sore-feet-after-game-day feeling jfaksfjsl) (and i give myself footrubs! you should all do that. unless it’s weird, in which case, pretend i never said that.)

With one hand, he rubs gentle circles around the bones of Bucky’s ankles. (phew like, especially on the inside, under the ankle bone?? sweet spot. i put a lot of pressure on my heels though, so that might not be true for everyone?) (well it’s true for steve! and he’s tryna help bucky, so!) He slides his other hand down the arch of Bucky’s foot, digging in with one knuckle, and presses deep lines along the bones of his foot.

Somewhere overhead, Bucky sighs.

Steve continues with the foot massage, tracing between the toes and around the heel, smearing his fingerprints along the calloused sole. He works his way above the ankle. He kneads Bucky’s calf. He pays special attention to the spot high on the Achilles tendon. If Bucky is anything like him, (or me,) that’s a spot that is always overlooked, and feels sore after every game; a spot that aches deep into the night, twitching even as you lay motionless in bed, wishing you could sleep. (…….. i’m projecting HARD in this scene if you could not tell)

When Steve pulls his hand away, Bucky makes a noise. A sleepy-cat whimper.

He switches to the other foot and gives it the same treatment. He can feel Bucky’s muscles and their tired spasms, their half-hearted tremors like autumn leaves clinging to wood.

Steve slips his hand up the opposite pant leg. (those FUCKING PANTS!!!) He drags the tension out of Bucky’s Achilles tendon, then lets his fingertips creep higher, tender, slow; he traces quiet lines up to the soft, stretched skin at the back of Bucky’s knee.

Another whimper catches between Bucky’s lips, (poor baby getting more turned on the higher steve goes, tbh) and Steve can hear his throat click when he swallows. He looks up, finally, and almost faints. Bucky’s eyes are inches away from his, frozen wide. (if steve sounds extra In Awe in this scene, that’s a result of writing this early on in targeting. at the time, steve was going thru a whole lot of “holy shit it’s really bucky barnes I Must Take Care Of Him” feelings. i kept a lot of those feelings bc i think it’s really in-character for steve, lmao. he’s the type to wake up after they’ve been married 18 years and go “holy shit its bucky barnes.”)

“Thank you,” Bucky says hoarsely.

Steve straightens, and all the muscles up his side-body strain toward Bucky’s face. “My pleasure,” he says, pressing their foreheads together.

and then they go to bed and cuddle!!!!! **confetti**

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 12 - “Oh How The Tides Have Turned” - REGAN

https://youtu.be/87W1CYDauwc

Honestly that tribal council last night could've gone better, but I think that may have been the best outcome we could've seen.. What last night really shows is that my "side" won the battle, and now those who remain from the other side Jared/Nicole/Asya are kinda scrambling to integrate themselves.. Jared is definitely someone I know our side thinks we can trust, and he's doing a great job at integrating himself within the group for sure As of now, I've been thinking about it more and more, and Jared telling me that Dan was REALLY thinking about getting out Augusto, and what Dan was saying in the process, makes me really think that I can't trust Dan anymore.. He's playing Jared really hard to try to make sure that Dan can have Jared and Nicole on his side when our group splits, and I'm not liking it too much The thing that disappoints me is that I really trusted Dan 100%, and if I didn't hear that he was doing this, I probably would've still stuck with him EVEN AFTER he voted for me at the f11 tribal council.. Now what I've gotta do is play the field a little more. Nicole told me she lost her vote at ghost island, and I'm not sure how many people are going to know that's a fact or not, but I'm glad that I know she can't vote, really meaning the only person's vote I'd actually be concerned for is Asya.. By working with Roxy, Regan, Augusto, and Jared, to take out Dan, I think we can efficiently pull off a blindside on him and send him to jury, freeing up Vilma, Asya and Nicole, bc tbh, Dan has remarkable relationships with all three, and it's almost becoming too little too late before Dan becomes too powerful in the game I know i'm not necessarily out of hot water yet, especially because I know certain people would salvate at the thought of taking me out, but I've just gotta keep playing it cool, and not make it too known that Dan is probably my next target.. Kinda disappointing the way things ended with Alex and I, but he gave me 0 effort after he voted for me, and I'm not really going to do the same for him after he made a f2 with me, tried to convince me to not play my idol at tribal, and then being the one that was mad at me after tribal, because I asked him to vote for nicole before tribal, when I was actually voting for Ricky.. Shame shame shame Mr. Crooks. Shame shame

OMG this is perfect Roxy just told Regan wants a F3 with us And like THATS WHAT I SAID MY IDEAL F3 WAS I'm all for it Alternative contenders would be Dan and Nicole But I wouldn't feel comfortable going to the end with anyone else really I want to get rid of one of Jared / Johnny asap I know they're close plus they're way too unpredictable I don't like unpredictable players I want to be able to predict where everyone's loyalties lie

I forgot to add this into my last confessional, but Jared and I just promised each other f3, and I don't intend on going back on that.. I know that I am going to try my hardest to get to the end at this point, by any means necessary. It's single digits now, and i'm ready to start being a little ballsier with my moves. Bring it on bb and let's see how deep I can get being crazy heehee

So jared and johnny told me to play my idol last round So I did And i wasted it But vilma got the idol clue AND BAM i told her to search where I thought it wasnt so I could get the idol and I did. I wanted the control. But if vilma gets votes I'll use it on her. I trust her 100% because she has yet to lie to me. And also because I think I can beat her. This time no one but her knows. I had to tell her or else it wouldn't be fair. oh how the tides have turned. We are iconic

these people suck, i miss ricky and alex 

https://goo.gl/images/HZwhVx

(A LITTLE LATER)

https://goo.gl/images/kDMJVb

somebody please send this to jared i think he’s confused.

So I have a lot to catch y’all up on so get your tea cups! Asya and I talked last night and formed a super close alliance and somehow we ended up being the swings for tonight so that’s exciting! Also I’m glad I won immunity tbh! Anyway, the vote is between Nicole and Jared for sure but there was a group made to see who should go first and the consensus there was Jared. However, there are pros to Nicole leaving as well. So far it’s 3 votes for Jared, 1 for Nicole, 1 for Dan with Asya/myself/Roxy deciding how it goes. ps, Nicole lost her vote at Ghost so that’s dope. I was also told by Regan that she found another idol but she told Vilma I have a double vote so yikes gjdngnfnf anyway gl noms

(SIGH)

I know this ain’t that deep but ngl, I am the swing vote this round and a reason that I didn’t want to make the smarter move in my eyes is because I didn’t want it to affect my relationship with Regan who is someone I value a lot in this game but then I had to realize that the reason I’ve left so many times and left early for that matter is because I valued other people over myself and honestly, my time is now and I need to be selfish since that is the business I need to finish. I need to learn to stand by ground a bit more because I feel like I’m doing well in this game and if I want to win, I need to be a bit more assertive and all about me. 

16.39 Why's everyone sleeping on the fact that Jared and Johnny never wanna eliminate each other It's pretty clear that they're protecting each other But nobody wants to vote Jared or Johnny out with me ughhhhh Everyone thinks it's too early I'm more concerned they will somehow slide to the end And then we all just lose against them I guess I'm not as scared to make moves because there's two idols that are on my good side but idk It's hard! 19.02 Phew okay Regan wants Jared too 20.14 I mean I understand feeling reluctant to take out the big threats but we're about to enter f8 and and if over half the people in f8 are people I think I have absolutely no chance at beating then that doesn't look too good for me If I was one of the big threats I'd want to keep a shield in as well But I'm not, and I definitely don't need 934873 shields I need to start getting rid of the big dogs 20.48 I'm actually not 100% sure whether it would be smarter to take out Jared / Nicole now but I find Jared so much more intimidating My only concern is Asya/Nicole/Dan/Johnny/someone somehow coming together if we take out Jared now. But I think it would be semi easy to convince people to vote out Johnny even if that group tried to take the control. Plus I know Roxy is pretty determined to get rid of Dan. I hope I'll be able to slide through even if we take out Jared now. It's just that I'm not very close to Nicole at all so I don't know if she has other connections besides Jared, Dan and Asya. 2.14 I still think we're gonna go after Jared tonight but there's been a bit of messiness going on and you never know what's gonna happen during these two hours before tribal so we shall see. OH I think I forgot to tell but I got the idol clue with my mani-pedi and shared an altered version of it with practically everyone (ok not really but almost) but I soon realized I didn't alter it quite enough. I got lucky none of the guys found it though, because I definitely didn't want any of them to get that power. BUT Regan found it instead and she's at least convincing me she would use it to protect me too if needed, but I'm not absolutely convinced of that yet. I'm pretty content with her having it though, because I think we have similar interests going forward in the game and I wouldn't mind going all the way with her. Plus two idols in my possession would have felt like a bit too much hahaha. I don't deserve that much luck, I already got saved from death thanks to a host influencing a pre merge tribal for fucks sake.

Another round of me sucking at confessionals, so i'll give the long story short 1. regan made a chat with the five people on our side, excluding myself, to talk about the pros and cons of getting out jared vs nicole, bc regan thinks i cant be trust and im going to run everything to jared? okay cool 2. After me spending the entire day to help jared and nicole, jared further sinks himself by telling dan that he wants to go for me or regan, and then he's telling me that he wants to go for dan, and he's trying too fucking hard to deflect attention off of himself, which is such a mood 3. This group of five decided that jared has to go 4. Regan is lying straight to my face, when I've told her I'd be flexible with the vote and do what our group wanted to do, but regan wants to be EXTRA instead and lie to me...... im watching you sissy 4. Augusto had this plan to get me him roxy asya (tbh i had the same idea, but it came out of his mouth, he can get the credit) to not vote out jared, but instead vote out nicole bc nicole is less threatening, thus more detrimental to our long term games since we feel like we have no chance at having nicole's support, when nicole is more likely going to work with dan or regan instead of myself augusto or roxy, and if jared continues down this path, he's likely going to shoot himself in the foot AGAIN in a future round, so this isn't an awful idea, and I hope it works.. If this works, another big round for ol man johnny man and it helps me position myself better within the tribe. bring it on :)

This round is exactly why someone with a panic disorder should NOT PLAY TUMBLR SURVIVOR. I literally feel like I'm going to puke this round. I'm thinking the vote is gonna be 6-3 tonight against Jared, but I'm just really unsure. I feel like I'm def getting the 3. I just feel like this game has been a fucking shit show the last few rounds and no one has gotten to see it mainly because people just frantically message in PMs instead of alliance chats, or to the VL. I think this cast is iconic, and honestly if I get sent to jury, I'm literally so proud of the improvement I've made in tumblr survivor. Obviously, I want to win, but so many people left deserve it, so as long as some bump on the log like Roxy or Asya don't win I'm cool as a cucumber :~) I am 10 seconds away from kermitting tho, so see y'all later.

JARED IS SO DUMB Yes i know Johnny is protecting you none of us are that dumb to think otherwise Secondly I have the merge idol. He doesn't stop claiming you have it you ho.

https://youtu.be/8FCoZiUBHHo

[seventeen-imagines-reactions]

The story of Yujin & Kris (Kris Scenario // 5of59)

FIIIIINNNAAALLY sorry guys it took soo soo long. This is the 5th of 59 (long way to go still I know.) 

I loved writing this eventhough it took so long bc I kinda forgot how to write hahah Have to get in the hang of it again. 

Hope you like it ^^

PS: This can be read as a oneshot but also as a “before” to my other Kris scenario. >> Part 1

*****

He sat there, on his guitar case, closed his eyes and started singing. His voice was so different, it didn’t ever sound the same it was really unique. The passengers didn’t just look for a couple seconds and continued walking no. Some of them stood in front of him and enjoyed his music. The gave him money or talked to him after he was done singing. Which always made him happy. But he never waited long enough for them to start a real conversation.

No he didn’t do this for money. Not in any way. He just wanted to share his passion with everyone. And the money he made? He saved it. This guy? I’ll tell you more about him. He’s Yifan or Kris however you want to call him. He lives in Enland now, but he was born in China. Why did he move? His university was here in Enland. And since he liked it so much he decided to stay. Kris never really had a full time job after uni, his parents always helped him out. Though, he didn’t really use his parents money. He had jobs on and off, at the car wash, in restaurants, in Hotels and in Bars as the singer. He made enough money to life with that. And he loved that life. Honestly he would make enough money just with singing but he wanted to work hard and earn his money. “Dude, I’ve been waiting for so long now. Where are you?” “Sorry man. I totally forgot time. So what are you up to tonight?”  "Thought about going to the bar again. Uh… I forgot the name but do you remember the bar we went to when we came here the first time? That one. Jaya told everyone to come over for her birthday. She invited the old ones too. So you coming?“ “I’ll see what I can do… I’ll call you back.”

“You’re not gonna be there tonight right?” an unknown number sent him just minutes after he hung up. “Who are you?” Kris was on his way home, he lived in a small apartment, not far from city centre. “Claire,… Yujins friend from back then?” Why would she text me? Why shouldn’t I be there? Yujin…. She would be there too? That can’t be, she’s supposed to be in China now. “Oh… I’m sorry. Idk, why u asking?” “Dude? They didn’t tell you she’s back already? She just came back. She’s gonna be there tonight.” “How? I thought she had to stay with her family? Didn’t they force her to go back forever??” “She’s a free spirit isn’t she? She decided to come back after her 23rd birthday. She’s been here for two or three days now.” “Oh. Nah I didn’t know.”

Wow. Nice friends he had there. Kris put his phone away and listened to some music while walking. He bought some grocries also. He felt the vibrations of his phone, but he wanted to reach home before thinking about his new problem. ‘5 unread messages’ “Kris?? / tbh, she wanted to meet you again. She asked a lot about you. / Normally she wouldn’t come to the party but she knew you could be there. / She told me to not tell you anything but I don’t want drama happening. So yeah. / Are you ready to face her again? Is it gonna be difficult?” Difficult, the heck is she saying? “She left me tf should I be facing her. If anything she’s gonna regret her choice will she? I’m over this kindergarden games. I’ll be having no problems looking her into the eyes since I didn’t do anything that could hurt her. I’ll be there tonight. Do whatever the fuck you want.”

Kris threw his phone away in anger. Able to face her again? What is this?  He leaned back and thought about this whole situation again? Oh wait, let me tell you the short form too.

When Yifan arrived in England he still had some time before his school year started. So he decided to visit an English class for a couple of weeks to improve his skills. During that time he met a lot of foreigners including Yujin… Yujin, Kris and the other chinese students got along pretty well. And of course after a while Yujin and Kris got really close, eventually became a couple. They’ve dated for quite a while when one day, Yujin left and moved back to China without telling Kris. She was back in her home country and no matter how often Kris called her she didn’t pick up. Yujin left Yifan heartbroken and didn’t tell him where she was, why she left and why noone else should tell him also. Weeks later she called him crying, saying that she still loved him. That her parents wanted her to move back and she was being forced to stay there. But he didn’t believe, or he did. We don’t know but he was done with this dilemma and never talked to her, never thought about her or asked how she was doing ever again. The last time he saw Yujin was quite a while back. Five years to be exact.

“So man you coming over?” “Probably, as long as I don’t get into any type of trouble.” “Nah, just stay with us and you should be good. Thanks man, it’s been a while since we did something with the others.” He chuckled, he really missed his friends. Yifan spent his last weeks working and saving money. Honestly he didn’t want to go. The messages were still making him angry, as if it was his fault but he didn’t want to make his friends sad so he got up, showered and threw on new fresh clothes. “Dude you didn’t even tell me when to be there.” “Oh sorry Kris, can you be there at 8? Or wait I’ll pick you up at 7.30, let’s take the metro just in case.” “Sounds good, just ring the bell and I’ll come down.” Puh… still more than an hour left.

He got up and poured himself something to drink, still he was “used” to alcohol he wouldn’t get drunk easily. Not like his friends. Kris thought abour his old friends, those who would be there tonight too. He also thought about Yujin…. Yujin would be there too. And though he didn’t do anything wring he wasn’t ready to face her. Not now. No matter what he said to claire today, he didn’t want to see Yujin after she left him. He didn’t know if he was angry or sad, he just felt like he didn’t want to see her. What would she tell them? And if she speaks would she talk to him? What would she tell him? Is she married now, or did she find a job. Does she still love him or did she ever? “Kris come on. Don’t think about her. Just think about seeing your old friends.” he told himself. And that worked. Somewhat at least.

“Man it’s been a while huh.” „How long has it been man? At least a year? And you don’t even live too far, sad man really sad.“ Kris said while laughing. Their houses were not too far from each other, but due to his school and work kris was never really able to meet one of his closest friends, Joe. And now that they met again, they’d probably talk about a lot of different things. Suprisingly, Kris also forgot his thoughts about Yujin. „So what have you been up to?“ Joe asked, lighting up his cigarette. „Since when do you smoke though? Uh, not much. I worked here and there, I think I’ll look for a real job soon. Set a foot into the real world you know.” „Never thought that you would do that. Honestly I always saw you as a singer or something, because you never shut your mouth.“ The boy was laughing, so was kris. He was happy that he could spend some time with his close friends.

After a good 10 Minutes they arrived at the place. And even from the outside you could hear their friends screaming and shouting happily. „KRIIIIIS! / YIFAN / FANFAN You’re here too.“ Oh god… They were already tipsy, but that was alright. „Hey, glad that you came. How are you Yifan? When was the last time I saw you?“ „Oh Matt, it’s been a while. Looong long time man, I think we were in Uni still. What have you been up to?“ „Nothing much. Found a job, got fired, found another job and then I had to move because of my family. Came back just weeks ago and now I’m looking for a job again. Really tiring process. You? I heard that you never really looked for a real job.“ „That’s how it is Matt, I never really worked, but I’m looking for a job now too. But from what you told me… I should be ready to face a lot of stress.“ The boys laughed and then sat down to meet the others. Matt introduced Kris and his friend, even though they knew them already. Some of his old friends brought along their „better halfs“ as they called they Boy/Girlfriends so Kris even met new people.

„Kris why don’t you sing for us?“ The voice oft he person speaking was really familiar, soothing and not too loud. She didn’t even sound tipsy but when Kris turned around he saw who was talking to him. „Yujin…“ And it got silent instantly. Everyone here knew what was going on with kris and her, but no one really talked about her until she got there, 1.5 hours later than she should. The atmosphere was awkward now and everyone realized that, even kris, who was not able to look away. She still looked the same but something,…. Something really seemed odd. It felt like world stopped for him, it felt like hours he looked at her. Kris, though didn’t want to show his realy feelings so he out on a grin and got up. He looked at her provocingly because yes he was still mad about everything but he directly walked passed her to the stage.

While all eyes were on Yifan, who was still talking tot he Dj and asking if he could sing, Yujin took a seat right next to his. She started drinking and talking to his friends, getting closer to them with every minute. Eventually Kris started singing. Soft tunes, slow song… The whole bar was going quiet just listening to him. And his friends? Some oft hem tried to harmonize with him, singing along since it was a chinese song. All of his friends knew this song, even the non-chinese. The song he sang,.. well it was about love and friendship. Kris was thinking about everything in the second he sang, he knew the song so well that it wasn’t really necessary to think about lyrics. He closed his eyes and thought about his first week here in london, how he met matt and steve – the boy who walked with him – how he met Jaya and then… how he met Yujin. When kris opened his eyes, everyone was cheering for him. He looked around and bowed down couple of times.

“I totally forgot how good your voice was, thank you so so much.” Jaya grabbed Kris’ hand and started to talk with him. Meanwhile everyone finished their last drinks, started talking about the past, things they`ve done, places they’ve been too and all of that. Sooner or later he realized that someone was missing. “Matt, where did she go?” “Why, you still looking for her?” Matt said with a cheeky grin but he frowned right away. “I don’t know man, she left while you were still up singing. She looked pretty sad it almost looked like she was on the edge to cry.” Cry? “What?” “Actually, I think she still has… some sort of feelings for you man. Joe saw her, couple of weeks ago they talked a lot he said. Ask him she told him that she still has feelings for you. Joe? Come.” The place was quite noisy, so it would be no problem to talk about her in public but Kris wanted to talk outside still to make sure that nobody can listen to them.  

Outside Joe ones more lightened his cigarette, offering it to Kris and Matt this time. “Guys come on that’s really bad for your health… Anyways. Joe tell Kris what Yujin told you the last time you met.” Joe took a deep breath before he started talking.  „I picked her up from the airport and she told me that she wanted to talk right away. So we met the day after. Man she was so down... Asking and begging for your phone number. She said that she still had feelings for you and she regrets ever leaving you. She was really sad man and just now when she left she gave me her number again just in case and asked me to give it to you. Call her if you want. I can send you the number.“ „What?“ „She still loves you, you idiot.“ „She left. She just left without saying anything and after 5 years she decided to come back and do this? What the heck is she thinking?-„ he looked at his friends in anger, „-that I’d come back no matter what? That I’d be running back to her as soon as she said that. What? You tell me.“

Without further or do Kris left. He had his phone and wallet in his pocket so there was no reason to walk back in. If anyone should ask he’s just say that there was something he had to deal with. Which, technically, wasn’t even a lie. Kris walked for a while, he didn’t want to go back home this early but he wasn’t really happy to be with the others right now. He pulled his phone out at a red light: „Joe, give me her number. I’ll clear this out ones and forever.“

„Please watch your words man. I know you’re right but Idk what could happen…“ „k“

„Yujin, this is Kris. We need to talk.“  “Come to this place. It’s where I’m living.” 

The place she sent him right after was quite far from here, but he wanted to talk about this right now. So he called a cab and told the driver where to go. About 20 minutes later he reached the place and the first thing he could notice was how dangerous this area was. Actually it scared him to walk around alone, since it was pretty quiet and the only thing you could here were alarms going off. 

“Hey Kris....” Yujin said, she looked like she’s been crying for hours. “Hey... You’re alright?” “No. Come in. I think there’s a lot we should talk about.” She walked in leading him to the living room - which he wasn’t sure about since the apartment was really tiny- and poured them something to drink. “I don’t know if you want to drink but I think I need this to talk.” Yujin sat down, patting the place next to her for him to sit down. “So what was going on in the bar. Why did you leave?... Why did you leave me today like you did back then..” Kris almost completely chugged the drink and looked down, he didn’t want to face her but this had to be done sooner or later. 

“I never wanted to leave you. I just... I don’t know I was young and stupid. I just felt like going back home to my family. Everything here was just too much. It didn’t feel right. Nothing I did here felt right. I wanted some time out... But when I called you to tell you everything... I mean I can understand but it made me sad. I really wanted to come back to you.-” Kris looked at her with anger. “You shouldn’t have left in first place. Do you know how I felt? How scared I was? I thought that something happened to you. I looked through every bar, every disco, libraries, hotels literally everything you can think of because I thought you ran away. After four days of no sleep, no food, no water and loong days of looking for you they told me that you’ve moved back to china with your family. Do you know what I had to go through because you were to selfish to tell me that you needed a break. I would’ve understood. And the only thing you needed to do was telling me where you wanted to go, or what you wanted to do. I died several times in the first year of you being there because you didn’t tell me nothing until exactly one year later. You needed one year to tell me what happened and you didn’t even do that. The only thing you did was begging for forgiveness. What did you expect me to do huh? just accept the fact that you left me for a year and only told your friends where you were. Not answering my phone calls, not sending any messages nothing. You left and you’ve been gone for five years. What are you doing here now? Why’d you come back?” 

Kris’ voice was full of anger. He teared up but controlled himself to not cry now. Again, he wasn’t sad just angry. And Yujin... she just looked at him. For minutes she just looked at what he was doing, how his facial expressions changed from minute to minute. Kris felt how the alcohol made his way into his blood stream. He felt how his hands started to shake and his vision to blur. “You’re not gonna say anything, are you?” “Kris... I love you.” 

The next day Kris woke up with a bad headache. It took a while for him to realize where exactly he was. “What... How did I get here.” Kris was lying on his couch with no Idea how he got back home. “What happened yesterday?” No matter how much he thought and thought the only thing he remembers was talking to her, then leaving, but in between those action there’s nothing he remembers. 

When he looked at his phone just to see that it was turned off. So he got up plugged his phone in, hopped into the shower to get the burning smell of alcohol off and made breakfast. As he got back to his phone he already heard that he got one message after the other. “MAN? Why are you not answering??? // What happened yesterday you didn’t talk to us. // You didn’t fight did you? // Call me when your up. // She’s not answering either WTF MAN WHERE ARE YOU?” What? “Joe chill, I just woke up. Phone was off. We talked I guess.” “You guess?” “Yea man I remember saying a lot of things to her, but then.. It’s like completely gone. I was drunk. Don’t even know how I came back home.” “That’s not good. So why is she not answering?” “Idk, I don’t care at this point.” 

****

The days passed and as he told Joe Kris didn’t talk about her again. Neither did his friends. He just spent time with them and enjoyed seeing all of them again before finding a job. Which he did, just a week after. “Guys. Look at this. I’ve been accepted.” “Knew you would make it in. // That’s so great we need to celebrate this. // When are you starting?” “Next week. They want me to be there next week.” 

Kris was happy, so were his friends. He got accepted into a big company here, their headquarter is in China, so his knowledge would be of good use. Everything was going well, not even a year later he was able to rent a house, paying it so that ever so slowly it could be his own. His life was coordinated now, finally.

“Yeah, I’m on my days off might even turn into a full vacaytion they said. Let’s meet with matt in a couple of days maybe?” “Sounds great. I’ll call you later okay? Have some things to do.” “Okay man, bye.” 

“We need to talk.” Oh man, who is this again. Why can’t I just have one relaxed day? He put his phone away and didn’t look at it for hours and hours. He didn’t even care. 

“Kris we need to talk. // It’s Yujin. // Kris??? // I’m in the hospital right now. // Call me when you’re free. // Kris it’s been hours where are you? // Yifan?... Please.” Without hesitating he called her back. No matter how angry he was, she was in hospital and he needed to know why. “What happened. What did you want.” “Can we talk?” “Uhh... Sure.” “Not on the phone.. Can you come over please.” 

She said it, and he did it. He went over to her, didn’t exactly know why he chose too. But he wanted to know what she wanted to talk about and so he tried not to think to much about this. “Hey thanks for coming. Do you want anything to drink tea, coffee?” “No thank you. Just tell me why you called me several times today.” “Kris... Kris I’m going back to china.” “And? You wanted to say goodbye this time?” “Kris... please. It’s not like that.-” They stopped instantly and Kris got up as soon as he heard a baby crying in another room. “A baby?!” “Kris.. That’s why I called you. She’s yours.” “WHAT?” “Yifan.. Calm down please. She’s yours... Remember the last time we met?” 

Kris walked up and down and didn’t want to believe. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?” “I was scared...” “Yujin stop lying. Nothing... Nothing happened...” “How can you know you were drunk.” “So what now. You tell me she’s mine and then? Take her with you? Why. What did you want?” “I want you to take care of her.” “WHAT?” “She’s yours. So why don’t you take her. Be responsible.” “Are you joking? I know myself. She’s not mine.” “She is.” “Let’s go and make a test then. My DNA and hers. Should be easy. I have the right to do that. The results might take a couple of days.” Yujin didn’t talk anymore at this point. She just stood there crying silent tears. “Ok...” 

After the test was taken none of them talked to the other. She was too scared and he too angry. He avoided meeting her and waited for the test results day in and out. When he heard the door bell three days later he rushed up. “Sir, you need to sign this.” An envelpe. Please... “Thank you.” 

He walked back into the house and took a deep breath. “Please..” He read through the letter saying that those tests could be wrong and there’s always a chance of them being the opposite of what’s written down, but 99.9% of the time they’re right. “... negative.” 

Yujin and Kris met hours later. Kris didn’t tell her anything he just said that he wanted to meet. “Why did you lie to me?” “What?” “I got the results this morning. Why did you lie?” “Kris...-” “I’m not her to listen to any other excuses. Either you tell me the truth now, or the next time we meet we’ll be on court.” “Can we sit down.. Look. I knew she wasn’t yours.. It was a mistake. She was. I never wanted a child this early. And I still don’t. I met someone in china. I came back with him... I was his affaire I guess. And she.. Probably happened just a day before the party of Jaya. I didn’t want to be alone so I.. just had her and now I’ll go back. No one knows that she’s there well... actually a lot of people do. I told them.. I told that she was yours but also that they should never talk about her when you’re there.-” “WHAT?” “I’m so sorry. But you’re the only one I trust...” “Did you leave me because of him back then?” “...yes. We both had.. affairs. I was just stupid enough to follow him whereever he goes. I can’t go to him.. I can’t trust him.. He wanted me to... He wanted to...” “Abortion?” “Yes... I knew that you would never want me to do that.. and that you wouldn’t ever leave a child alone...” Yujin was crying her eyes out but kris just sat there staring into nothing. “I need time. I will... I will call you tomorrow.” “I won’t be there then... I’ll leave her at my moms house...” “Your mom?” “Yes. Yes... She’s here too, she moved years ago. But we never told anyone. I’m sorry but I have to go now... She doesn’t know anything about the lie.. So please don’t tell her that... You know. She lives in the same house. Last floor.... If you want to check.” 

Yujin left, leaving Yifan behind. And he? Got home and thought. The whole night. The next day. He just thought. 

Days passed again and one time he just stood up and aimed straight to Yujins house. While walking he wrote a message to Yujin. “I’m taking her. Not for your sake. I don’t want her to grow up without any parents. And god knows how long your mother will stay here in England. She will be my daughter from now on and I won’t ever make her feel like something’s off. Don’t ever come back and if you do... don’t look for either of us.” 

“Kris you’re here.” “Where is she.” “Come in son, I’ll pack her things.” “Just give me the basics. I can buy the rest.” Yujins mother told him what to do and how to handle her. She didn’t do anything wrong and that’s why he silently listened without saying anything. And ones she brought the baby Kris’ world stopped. She wasn’t his, she would be he reason why he could lose his job. But she was tiny and innocent. He took her with no real expression on his face. And as soon as he left the door he looked at the baby again.

 “Hi Wen..” 

Part 1 (or 2 if you will) 

*****