#it’s painfully easy to figure out please don’t tell me you’re serious
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yonemurishiroku · 10 months ago
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“The fact that we got Nico and Bianca in ep 6 is crazy” My dear, it’s literally capitalism.
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cupcakes-and-pain · 3 years ago
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Presents
Drop is a poor little meow meow (but don’t tell him that, he might take offense lol)
CW: slavery, blood bag whumpees, multiple whumpees, dehumanization, non-human caretaker, caretaker new whumper, conditioned whumpees, unreliable narrator, selective mutism, fear of punishment
Masterlist
— — —
This Master was going to be a difficult one, Drop could already tell. He was very disappointed to see them, probably thought they were too ugly or cheap or something.
Well, if he was going to be that rude to his friend who went out of his way to try and find a nice gift, Drop wasn’t going to make as much of an effort to please him. Why waste energy on someone who didn’t even give half as much care over his own people?
Of course, he’d still respect his owner and do what he says. There was no doubt about that. Drop was trained to be obedient and loyal, but being loving or eager to please was more of a suggestion in his opinion and one that Drop would not be following. He just couldn’t bring himself to love a Master who is so mean and disrespectful.
“So, do you like them?” The friend asked.
“I… don’t know what to say.”
Drop could feel the annoyance and frustration bubble inside of him as he thought that over. What a coward this vampire is. Can’t even say he doesn’t like them.
Other vampires tried talking to Master too, but again, he dodged the questions, didn’t admit to his true feelings, and then invited everyone to continue the party. What was up with him?
“Uh, alright. I’ll catch up with you inside, then,” said the one who bought them. Master smiled forcefully and nodded before turning to Drop and Dew, the latter of which shrank back under his glare.
“Oh- hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry, I just- uh, never mind. Come here you two, easy, just like that.” Master coaxed Dew forward and Drop continued behind her. When Dew tried to crawl, Master grabbed her wrist and she yelped. Drop wasn’t sure if it had hurt or if she was just surprised, but he still felt a surge of fierce protectiveness. And yet when Master looked at him, he felt all that anger immediately melt away and be replaced by fear and submission.
“Do you guys crawl? I don’t- uh, I don’t want that, if possible.” The question had been more directed at Drop but Dew answered, saving her partner from the terror and embarrassment of having to talk. Maybe Drop was the real coward, not this new Master.
“W-well, Master, um, it’s not necessary but some owners like crawling. But I’m so sorry for assuming what you would want, please forgive me.”
“Hey, no, it’s okay. I just- shit, don’t worry about it. You’re not in trouble, I don’t expect you to immediately know what I want.”
So new Master was the kind to play mind games and tricks. Most owners were, but it still annoyed Drop to no end.
“Well, uh, I’m going to go back to the party, so I’ll just leave you guys to your own devices for a while. Does that sound good?”
They both nodded. Agreeing with whatever Master said was usually the best idea, especially when the game is new and Drop hasn’t figured out all the rules.
Master lead them to a bedroom on the third floor and left them there, just like he had said he would. Drop idly wondered who’s room this was since the vampire who bought them said that their Master lived in the city, not here.
“Drop? Are you okay?” Dew asked worriedly. She was always so anxious. He wished he could do more for her, take away her fear somehow. Instead, he simply nodded and moved closer to hug her, but she pushed away. Her eyes looked pained and regretful, but she was firm.
“No, don’t. What if he comes back? He seems very serious. What if he doesn’t like pets being close?”
Drop wanted to say that he didn’t care, but in truth he did. Of course, he did. He was just as scared as Dew was when it came to what an owner disliked, painfully evident by his silence. He didn’t even belong to either of those masters anymore, the one that made him like this. Both had sold him. And he still couldn’t bring himself to talk around anyone except Dew. He was pathetic.
“Hey, you’re upset,” Dew started, “Please, I want to hold you too, but we-“
“N-no.”
“It’s not that?”
Drop shook his head.
“Mind telling me what’s going on then?” Dew asked but Drop stayed silent. He felt his cheeks heat up at the thought of admitting his fears.
“Please, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me. You don’t have to for a long time, just let me get the picture, okay?”
Drop nodded hesitantly.
“Okay, um,” he started, trying to find the right words. “Afraid. Afraid of being a coward, b-because I don’t talk? I dunno.” He turned away shamefully.
“You aren’t a coward!” Dew scolded then whipped her head around, shocked by how loud she said that. “S-sorry. Didn’t mean to yell. But anyway, you really shouldn’t feel that way. You’re a human pet in a world of immortal owners. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t afraid of some things. Especially after our last two Masters…” Dew trailed off, lost in thought.
“Don’t think about him.”
Dew shook her head to get rid of the memories, but they both knew that those thoughts never stayed away for long. Drop put a hand on her arm and didn’t care when she shot him a disapproving look.
He was terrified of punishment, of course he was, but they had a duty to each other to protect and care for their friend. And Drop would sooner want to die then know that he had an opportunity to give Dew a kind gesture and didn’t.
Besides, the sooner he messes up, the sooner he can see just exactly how cruel this Master will be.
— — —
Tag list: @kim-poce @badluck990 @whumpy-writings @imagination1reality0 @thecitythatdoesntsleep @wolfeyedwitch @thecyrulik @nicolepascaline @whumpsday just ask to be added or removed
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neoheros · 4 years ago
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“hello?” your voice rings through kuroo’s phone, and it’s taking him every last bit of his will and power to not hang up the call.
it’s been two weeks since he’s asked for your number, and unfortunately for him, even though he’s thought of calling you everyday since he got it, he’s only actually worked up the nerve to actually do it now.
“hello,” he says back, unsure of how to move forward with it, and he follows, “it’s kuroo.”
it’s late in the evening and he figured he’s chosen the worst time to actually call you, but he’s been putting this off for so long, and as much as kuroo was nervous, he also really really just wanted to talk to you too.
but he wishes he’s better at this stuff; the whole flirting thing. he’s never been good at it, all he has is a pocket full of wit and a wish that it comes off as charm instead.
— so not only is he two weeks late to this phone call, but he’s also painfully awkward at it.
“oh, kuroo.” you say through the phone, your voice clipped along with the static mixing in it.
kuroo leans back on his bed, pulling on the corners of his pillow cases, and he asks “oh?”
and you repeat, nodding along with a skittish laugh, “oh.”
“you sound disappointed.” he points out, lightly chuckling through his words to not seem so serious.
you answer, and he figures you were amused too with the way your tone seems chipper, and you say, “that was not a disappointed oh.”
“well, what kind of ‘oh’ was it?” he follows, smiling through his words.
you laugh, “it’s the ‘the guy who asked for my number two weeks ago finally called’ kind of oh.”
and kuroo says, voice clipped, “oh.”
so maybe he waited too long to actually call, but can you really blame him?
the entire time he had your number he didn’t know what to do with himself. what if he called too soon? what if you were busy and find him annoying? what if he says too much? what if he says too little?
you can’t blame him on this since you’re the one who makes him way too nervous to actually call.
if only you knew how much nerve it took to actually dial in your number without wanting to run through the block, maybe you’d see how much this call meant to him, and maybe you’d get why he’s so nervous to talk to you.
he doesn’t reply, so you laugh through the phone, “kuroo, i’m kidding.”
but he tells you anyways, “sorry.”
and you say back, “please don’t be.”
so what does he say now?
kuroo probably shouldn’t be thinking so much about this, but then again, he really just didn’t want you to have such a terrible impression of him - not when he likes you so much.
“hey, you still there?” you call out, breaking the empty minute lingering in the air.
he hums back, “i’m still here.”
“oh, good.” you say, and kuroo thinks he can hear the smile in your voice and he wants to say something about it, but he decides against it.
“can i ask you something?” you ask, your smile clear as you talk.
he brings the phone to his ear, “what is it?”
“you asked for my number two weeks ago,” you point out, your words traced with humming, and he thinks about how much he finds it charming.
he answers, “i did.”
“and i saw you — you couldn’t have written it down.” you continue to say, expectant of his reply.
he chuckles, and there’s a smile unrelenting on his face, “that’s because i didn’t write it down.”
“so how did you call me?” you finish, and your tone is light, like you didn’t really expect an answer, and he can still clearly hear the smile in your tone.
and kuroo laughs — a lull in the air, a flutter in his stomach that wants him punching his pillows, and it’s dark out, he should be sleeping by now, but he can’t even imagine hanging up on you any time soon.
it might’ve been embarrassing to take two weeks to gather up the nerve to actually call you, but he’s still glad that he did.
your laugh rings his phone, “kuroo?”
he’s still not good at this flirting thing, but you make it so easy to hold a conversation that he hopes he’s right when he thinks he doesn’t need to be good at romancing to actually talk to you.
so he’s honest instead.
and he smiles, “i memorized it.”
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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years ago
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hi wendy i really love the aus you use and pick in your fics and if you're cool with it can i request for a mr and mrs smith/spy au with the takeomi akashi, fluff angst n smut pls
I'm going to do my best with this one (and lump ina another with it)
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Ride It Out: Takeomi Akashi x Fem!Reader
wc: 1.1k
tw: NSFW
masterlist
song recommendation:
"You look so handsome." Takeomi looks at the reflection of you in the mirror, his purple eyes drinking in the sight of you lounging across the edge of the clawfoot tub.
Your skin is wet, but you look more relaxed than ever, the white rose petals he sprinkled in the tub floating around and making the bathroom smell like the flower of love.
"It's a shame you can't stay for the evening." The sinful grin you give him while picking out a chocolate from the box, placing it past your plump lips drives him into even deeper silence. You're seducing him into staying, he notes, but doesn't submit to your wiles. He can't. Not tonight.
"Love that you leave out the part where you have your own event tonight." You raise your brows, shifting back into the tub. "Forgot about it already?"
"No," you retort. "Just trying to think about your dick in my mouth, 'omi." You give a small pout, and the zipper on Takeomi's suit pants strains. If it weren't for his boxers, he might have a serious issue on his hands.
"Listen," he murmurs, slicking hair back and turning around to face you with a smirk. "You're here when I get back? I'll fuck that pretty mouth seven ways to Sunday. If you're not, then you'll have to wait until the morning."
"Guess the singers will have to make the opera go a lot faster," you muse, leaning forward in the tub for a kiss.
"Guess so," Takeomi whispers, pressing his lips against yours and cradling your chin in one hand. "Guess so."
_____________________________________________________________
So maybe you weren't telling the whole truth.
You stare at the figure of your husband in the seats of the opera house, your curls pinned back in a small bun and a mink coat he'd never seen resting around your shoulders. The little lorgnette binoculars, complete with heat-sensing technology, rest on your eyes as you watch Takeomi shake hands with a known cocaine dealer.
"Fuck."
You try to conceal your displeasure at the sight by inhaling deeply, but the woman on the other end of your earpiece mumbles,
"Seriously? A cocaine dealer?"
"Tell me about it," you reply, gritting your teeth.
The private box was bought by your spy org - Bethesda - and it was one level above and right across from Takeomi's spot in the theatre. Being spotted by him in the semi-darkness would be impossible, but you couldn't take any chances.
"I think we've seen all we need to see." You stow away your glasses and walk out of the box seating area, away from the sight of your husband making deals that you can't comprehend. Away from your husband helping known criminals conduct business. Away from... the facade of your marriage.
As you walk down the stairs of the opera house foyer, you see a flash of yellow, then the lights in the foyer shut off.
Not like dimming.
No, they shut off instantly.
Then--
Pop. Pop pop. Pop. Pop.
You expect patrons to come swarming out of the doors above you, their eyes wide with fear in the darkness, but no one leaves.
The popping continues.
It's only with a sense of dread that you realize the sounds of gunfire are echoing around you - in the foyer - in the damn dark.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you mutter, crouching down in your dress and hoping none of the flying bullets met your body.
"Hey, some help?"
Takeomi.
Pop. Pop pop. Pop. Pop pop pop.
A backup generator kicks in and one-fourth of the lights that were on flicker to life, lighting the place in an eerie yellow glow. You look down at the glasses in your hand, then reach under your dress, unholstering the small pistol you always have on your person during times like these.
No one knows when you'll have to OK Corrall it out while on a mission.
You've got two options, you reason while you creep down the stairs. You can either sniff Takeomi out and figure out if he's okay, or you can go home and beat him there, still hiding your true intentions and getting your back blown out.
Win-win, right?
"Place the gun on the stair and stand up." You freeze, dropping the gun to the floor and straightening up. You're out of options, actually.
"You're going to shoot your wife right here?" you whisper, but the nudge of the guna against your back is enough to silence you again.
"I knew you were a little spy," Takeomi snaps. "Just needed to flush you out nice and easy."
"Five years of marriage and this is what we get, huh? No easy divorce?" Takeomi laughs at your comments, taking your right arm and holding it behind your back painfully.
"Hush," he whispers. "Come with me and I'll let you live. No fighting, no arguing, and definitely--" The barrel of the gun presses into the space between your shoulder blade. "No seducing."
_____________________________________________________________
Okay, so maybe he lied a little.
"Oh my god," you gasp, hips smacking against Takeomi's while you ride him, hands still handcuffed. "'Omi..." Takeomi shudders beneath you, hands gripping your hips, helping you fuck him from above.
"Yeah, that's it..." he moans. "Say my name, baby."
"'Omi," you whine again, lips connecting with his tattooed chest. "Fuck me..."
Your husband sighs loudly, eyes fluttering closed as he listens to the desire in your voice build. "Want me to cum in that pretty pussy, don't you? Want to have my kids, hm?"
"Mmmm-hmmm," you moan dumbly, mouth opened while his cock rocks inside of your cunt, your cream sliding down his length.
"You're going to have to earn it, Ms. Spy." You don't know why Takeomi is holding it against you. He's a spy, too, as explained on the ride home. "They wanted me to take 'care of you'. And I'm doing just that, baby."
"Take--" One harsh smack on your ass.
"Ah, ah."
"'Omi," you correct yourself. "Make me cum. Please." Squelching noises flood the room, along with your pants of desire. "Please."
"Little louder."
"Omi!" You collapse on his chest, tears coursing down your cheeks. "Let me cum. Want to cum on your cock so bad..."
"Did ya' hear that, guys?" he wonders, turning to the earpieces laying on the bedside table, noise buzzing through them with unheard commands to 'stop this nonsense' from both spy organizations. "She wants to cum on my cock. Think that will do it?"
The static noise of the shouts from both Bethesda and Takeomi's boss - Kisaki - is enough to encourage him to ram into you, his dick kissing your cervix rapidly.
"Think that'll do it."
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ac3id · 4 years ago
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Puppy Girl | 18+
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pairings: dabi [ touya todoroki ] x female! reader. 
summary: dabi takes his puppy whore for a walk. 
warnings: pet play, public, humiliation, dubcon, sex toys. 
wordcount: 1.8k |
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It was starting to become a recurring event. He had promised you it would be a one-time thing but lately, he was pulling you to the park naked with him every other week.
 It was a simple bargain the first time. You listen to him and indulge in his deranged, lewd fantasies and he lets you live without a dog collar attached to your neck for a week. 
You were hesitant but the thought of being able to live as a decent human being with at least a small amount of respect even if it was just for a week; was tempting. 
Soon it became a currency. Months after months you’d spend your one day with him, totally humiliated and degraded just for the rest of the week to go by a little easy, and every time he would push your limits even further.
The very first time he took you outside with a leash attached to the collar around your neck was appalling. You were terrified, there was no speck of arousal within you. Dabi had guaranteed you’d find it hot, you just didn’t know before because you had never tried it. But honestly, showcasing your sexual adventures to the world was surely not your kink. It was his kink though, and you didn’t have a choice.
You and Dabi didn’t have the most organic relationship, if it weren’t for the fact that he had brought you to his home with a blindfold and zip lockers around your wrists, you could have at least tried to talk to him about this. You were just his pet. His cute, little, stupid puppy, too dumb to think for herself. No wonder you got caught by him. 
After the Hero-dominated society fell and Shigaraki took over, Dabi was quick to find you and take you away as his little captive. It made many headlines; Previously a brave Hero, now a slave to the evil Dabi.
You never read them though, he wouldn’t allow you any communication with the outside world. It was just the two of you. 
“Da-Touya please, I don’t want to go out like this,” he insisted you’d call him Touya, it was a beautiful name- his real name. It still shocked you, Dabi was the first son of Endeavour. The universe sure had its ways. 
“What’s wrong doll? You look pretty,” his slender fingers caressed your face. He was admiring your form; naked beside the pretty bondage belts wrapping your body, the nipple clamps pinching your hardened buds, the vibrator pushed deep within your cunt, vibrating at such a painfully dull pace, and the pretty tail butt plug buried deep in your asshole.
 With a pair of dog ears fitted over your head along with black thigh-highs decorating your legs, you looked perfect to him; ready to fuck, he dolled up his fucktoy beautifully.
“I don’t want to walk out like this,” you whined. He told you he was going to take his dog out of a walk earlier that day, stupid for you to expect it would be an actual dog.
“You don’t get to decide that, puppy,” he whispers, his nose touching yours his hands pet your head as you are an actual dog.
 “Just be good for me, like a good girl,” his voice drops, his tone gets deeper and serious. “Or do you want to get punished? I’ll send you to the timeout room,”
You freeze at the mention, you still remember the day as clear as yesterday. You were acting up, getting moody, and crying. Pushing him away and screaming at him, Dabi had the patience for a while, and then, later as punishment he let a nomu twice your size fuck you, destroy you. It was still fresh in your memories.
 “No, please-”
“Good girl.” he praises, kissing your lips lightly before tugging on your leash. He looks back at you one last time, watching your feet wobble as you try to walk with both your holes tightly stuffed. It was cute, he liked watching you suffer.
 His eyes roamed your figure, stopping at your thighs. He could never understand why but those stockings which you wore got him going.
 Shigaraki had suggested he should put those on you, he was reluctant at first knowing that his boss is far worse than him but in the end, he took the advice. And, God, he does not regret it. 
“C’mon cutie, walk faster.” he tugged on your leash again and you almost fell over, the vibe hitting a deep spot within you. You cry, drool escaping past your lips. “At this rate, we’ll reach the park after sunrise. Do you want everyone to see you like this?” 
It was currently 3 A.M. Too early or late for anyone to be outside their houses, it was the perfect time for Dabi to his whore out for a walk.
 “We are going to be walking?” you ask in shock, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to make till there without blacking out. “Yes, we are puppy.” he hummed and with a smirk, he pulled on your leash again. 
The walk to the park wasn’t long, barely five minutes but since you were dressed like a slut- no. Not even a whore would let a man do this to her, even a whore would have more dignity than you. You stumbled, the vibrations turning extreme as Dabi messed with the controller. 
“Keep walking,” he commanded.
 “If you fall, I'm not letting you up. You’ll have to walk on all fours like the bitch you are,” Rude remarks from Dabi were nothing uncommon, he lived to degrade you but what haunted you was the way he said them.
 He did not hide how he felt, his face displaying his exact expression. He was always smirking or smiling while talking down to you, he thought it was funny. The ever-persistent smirk still lasted on his face as he watched you try your best not to fall with the vibe fucking your cunt unforgivingly. 
You follow behind him, your thighs pressed together trying to ride out the overwhelming pleasure. Dabi hums the tune of some familiar song that you can’t figure out in your current state. 
Your clench around the butt plug, the stretch still burning in your rear. Moans and whimpers fill the silent night as you lose yourself, the air is warm. It’s summer still, everything around you is silent and dark.
“You might want to keep your voice down.” Dabi starts, his eyes scan a bench. He’s thinking of fucking you on it. Despite the countless times both of you have gone out like this, Dabi has asked for nothing more than a blowjob. But today, he is feeling brave, and besides, your moaning, whimpering, and those cuteass ears and tail have got him going. 
“What if someone sees you here like this, do you want everyone to know how much of a slut you are? Walking around naked at a park like this, do you want them to know you have no shame?” 
Instead of answering you cry. You cry while cumming, the overwhelming pressure which kept building in your abdomen finally bursting. Dabi looks back at you, disappointment was written all over his face. He watches your juices drip down your thighs as you lewdly moan. He clicks his tongue,
“Didn’t I tell you something about cumming without my permission?” He did, a long time ago. You don’t even remember, “‘m sorry,” you cry in a small voice. He glares at you, his blue eyes dancing with furious flames. 
You feel small under his stare, “That’s no good.” He growls 
In a swift motion, he pulls your leash, dragging you next to him. He pushes you on the bench, your naked body hits the slightly cooler seat making you shiver. Dabi feels his jeans tighten when he watches you fall on the bench, displaying your pretty ass to him. Your cute, little tail sticks out between your ass making him groan. 
You turn your head around to Dabi and see him staring at your ass. Taking this as your chance you quickly apologize. 
“I’m so sorry, Touya. I didn- Ah” you get cut off with a slap to your ass. “Dogs don’t talk. Bark for me,” 
Your eyes widened in shock and fear, was he serious? By the look of his face, you could tell he was joking, but there was no way you were actually going to bark for him. Another slap falls behind you shutting you up. 
“Bark.” His voice dark, filled with authority and dominance does make you feel like his little. A tingle of pleasure travels down your spine and in a weak, timid voice you start barking for him. Your cries are quiet and soft, you don’t want to be heard by anyone and the last shreds of your dignity don’t let you raise your voice any higher. 
“What’s that? Are you a puppy? Quit barking like a girl,” Dabi scoffs at his own joke. 
You feel the buzz come back, the vibration which had paused singing back to life. You squirm on the desk, the position you stayed propped against the wooden seat uncomfortable. 
Dabi picks you up and places you on his lap, his lips pressing against your neck leaving butterfly kisses and his hands wrapped around your waist he makes you sit through your second orgasm. 
“These look needy,” his finger inches towards your hardened nipples clamped between the metal. They stand stiff and ready to be played with. He rubs over the buds causing you to moan out loud. Dabi chuckles. 
“Keep barking, baby. You’re a greedy, little puppy with an even greedier, little cunt.” He chuckles in your ear before lightly biting your earlobe. 
You feel yourself reaching closer, the vibe resting tightly clenched between your velvety walls brings you towards your edge. 
“You close, baby?” he pets over your head while his hand travels down your navel. He cups your pussy, his fingers playing with your slit. 
“Woof.”
He laughs, he is not oblivious to the fact about how pathetic this makes both of you look but he 
can’t help it. 
It makes his dick hard. 
His fingers graze along your dripping cunt before settling on your stiff, little pearl. He flicks your cute clit and you cry. Your insides clenching and your mind going crazy, Dabi keeps rubbing onto your clit until you cum.
You let out a loud moan as you feel slick running down your legs. The pressure finally bursts and you see heaven. Dabi still holds you close to him, wrapping his arms around you dearly. 
“That’s the second time you’ve disobeyed me, puppy?” he rasps in your ear and you freeze. The state of ecstasy that you had found yourself in, finally fading away. You open your mouth to speak but Dabi shuts you up by shoving his fingers into your mouth. 
“You’re being a little bratty these days, it’s time we let you in ‘timeout’, right?” 
Your face pales and stomach. 
You cry for forgiveness hoping Dabi would reconsider but we all know, he doesn’t give second chances. 
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wonjaekook · 4 years ago
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One Minus One Plus One
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Pairing: college student!Mark x college student!reader
Description: In all of the years you’ve known Jungwoo, you should have figured out to not take his words at face value because, though you haven’t even met, Mark Lee seems to hate your guts.
Word Count: 9.9k
Genre: kind-of-enemies to lovers! fluff? angst? humor? I honestly don’t know how to categorize this
Warnings: vaguely suggestive ending, some minor swearing
A/N: This is my (late) holiday gift for a friend and to you all, I suppose. It’s an enemies-to-lovers but not really, as they’re not really enemies and it’s more passive-aggressive!Mark and very confused!Y/N. To the intended - I love and appreciate you so much; thank you for always supporting me and listening to me ramble about even the most ridiculous ideas <3 If you ever need anything, I hope you know that you can always shoot me a text or DM! Please enjoy c:
Mark Lee is always sweet. It’s the kind of sweetness that’s warm and fulfilling, leaving a pleasant feeling in the pit of the stomach, like a steaming up of hot chocolate rather than a strikingly sweet popsicle. His nature isn’t something he particularly prides himself on, as it’s partially unintentional, driven by awkwardness and politeness at times, or by the compulsion to simply make people happy. Jungwoo has told him that he’s allowed to be a little more selfish once in a while, he’s allowed to say no and take breaks sometimes. Except, he’s ever the people pleaser, ever the hard worker, ever the yes-man. Mark Lee is always sweet.
Except when he isn’t.
You’re fairly certain that Mark Lee has hated you since before you even met him. When you decide to transfer to the same university that your high school best friend Jungwoo attends, he talks your ear off about all of his great friends and all of the places he is going to take you and all of the fun you’ll have. He’s always been the descriptive type, telling you far too much about his good pals Mark, Donghyuck, Johnny, Taeil, Jaehyun, Kun, Lucas… and countless others, whose names you sometimes have a hard time keeping track of. Jungwoo has a lot of friends, something which has remained true since high school. Whenever you catch up with him, he speaks particularly fondly about Mark, who is one of his roommates and someone he considers to be one of his closest friends.
“You’ll love him,” he says, “but not too much, I hope. That would be super weird, you and Mark.” He wrinkles his nose at that and doesn’t make any more abnormal comments. You don’t think much of it.
In short, you let Jungwoo decide your opinion on Mark Lee before you ever met him. With everything else about moving to a completely different university occupying the majority of your thoughts, it’s easy enough to accept that Mark will be awkward and painfully sweet and that you will become fast friends. That’s your first mistake.
Before you even finish moving in, Jungwoo drags you over to his place to meet some of his friends, who he insists will become your own. It’s just past noon and he claims that everyone will be awake and ready to greet you once you get there. He’s half right, in the sense that only half of the apartment is awake. The early-risers, who Jungwoo didn’t even have to shake before he came over to get you, are at the table in their common area, sipping on various caffeinated beverages. These consist of Mark and Jaehyun. Donghyuck is presumably still curled up in his bed, asleep after a late night of playing games, and Johnny, who had stayed overnight and doesn’t actually live with them, is passed out on their couch, an arm slung over his face to block the light. Your friend has shown you enough pictures for you to recognize them.
Jungwoo practically deflates as soon as he walks in to see only two members of the current household conscious. “This is why we can’t have nice things,” he grumbles before striding over to Johnny and yanking off the blanket covering his long torso.
The elder groans, clearly having only been dozing and not deeply asleep, and moves his arm so he can glare at Jungwoo. “Your disrespect for my sleep schedule is why we can’t have nice things.”
“You don’t have a sleep schedule,” Jungwoo says back, glaring at his friend with the blanket in his hand. “Plus, Y/N’s here.”
Johnny lazily looks over and sees you in the entranceway, to which his response is to roll slightly so that he’s propped up against the back of the couch with one leg crossed over the other rather than just lying down. “Sup. Name’s Johnny.”
“Ew, don’t use your flirting voice!” Jungwoo whines at his friend, kicking him in the shin. In all honesty, you’re both amused and slightly flattered that Johnny is attempting to flirt with you when he’s just woken up. The messy hair is kind of a look. “Y/N’s a friend.”
“Yeah, we’ll be good friends, alright,” Johnny says, looking directly at you and wiggling his eyebrows in the most ridiculous way. That gets a giggle out of you while Jungwoo gawks, kicking Johnny again for good measure, slightly harder this time.
Jungwoo looks like he’s about to start arguing again when Jaehyun kindly interrupts, shifting the conversation. He gives you a small smile, perfectly polite and handsome, his hair straight and soft over his forehead. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Jaehyun.”
You lower your head to acknowledge him. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” You look towards the other boy at the table, who you now realize hasn’t glanced up at you once. Jaehyun had been at least half watching the mock fight between Jungwoo and Johnny, but Mark had just been staring at his cup from behind circular glasses, not even drinking it. His own hair is slightly damp, curling at the ends, making him appear somewhat young. “You’re Mark, right?”
Finally, he looks at you, but looks away quickly. “Yeah.”
That’s… that’s not right.
You try again, smiling as brightly as you can, even though he won’t glance in your direction again. His side profile is full of both soft shapes and hard angles, afternoon sunlight coming in through the window falls as highlights on his cheeks and nose and chin. He appears exactly as your friend had described him to you, but his attitude proves him to be a walking contradiction. You shift on your feet, grasping for the right words to say. “Jungwoo has told me a lot about you.”
“Uh… yeah. He’s told me about you, too.”
You almost outright frown at that. Isn’t he supposed to be super nice and friendly? Instead, it sounds like Jungwoo has been spreading all sorts of nasty stories about you. Hypothetical stories that, apparently, only Mark has been listening to. Neither Jaehyun nor Johnny are acting strangely towards you at all.
All three of the other boys do seem to notice the change in behavior for Mark, though. There are a few moments of tense silence before Johnny elbows Jungwoo. The latter speaks up. “Hey, Mark, can you go resurrect Donghyuck? I think he might be dead.”
The switch is instant and very startling to you. His face loses all of its tension as he looks at Jungwoo, nodding. “Yeah, sure. If I don’t come back in ten minutes, I’m the one who’s dead.” He pushes himself up out of his chair and exits the common area.
After he’s gone, you look at Jungwoo. He stares back. You make a motion with your head towards the front door, where you retreat to and he follows. You stand somewhat stiffly, hands linked behind your back. “Did you say something to him? About me?”
Jungwoo puts his hands up defensively. “Nothing bad, I swear!” He looks back towards the common area. “He must just be having a bad day or something…”
That doesn’t explain the sudden warmth when someone else spoke to him, though. You frown. “Okay… I guess I’ll just have to try harder to get him to like me.”
Your friend seems to perk up at that. “That’s the spirit!” He proceeds to grab you by the shoulders and steer you back to the common area.
You have an amiable enough time chatting with the boys who had remained there. Eventually, Donghyuck emerges from his room, looking even more ruffled than Johnny had, and Mark shuffles out with him. Once again, he doesn’t even spare you a glance. Every so often, as you’re talking to the others or just listening to their strange, all-over-the-place conversations, your eyes flicker over to him. He contributes to the chatter, but it’s like he’s purposefully avoiding you, even though you’re literally in the room with him. It kind of hurts.
Still, you try not to let it bother you too much. An hour passes, which you realize with a start, and you remember that you’re not even nearly done unpacking. As you’re rising from your seat on the edge of the couch, Jungwoo throws a comment out to you. “You’re welcome to bust in here any time!”
He’s met with a chorus of agreement from the others, except one.
The next day, Jungwoo makes a point to introduce you to the rest of his circle. Not long after, you’re added to a group chat with a whole phonebook of unfamiliar numbers. Most of them, minus several who your friend had told you in the past do a poor job of checking their messages, send their names pretty quickly. Jungwoo tells you who the others are. With a pang of disappointment, you realize one of the missing numbers was Mark.
On your first day of classes, you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you share an economics lecture with Donghyuck, who acts both very tired and also full of energy, chatting your ear off before and after class, but looking as if he’s about to pass out when the professor gives her introduction and starts to go over course material. That day, you also learn that you have an ethics class with Jungwoo’s friend Doyoung, stoic and serious and exactly the opposite of Donghyuck, but still smiling at your lame jokes and carefully making sure you get the homework down.
The second day starts out much more slowly. You settle down for your third class, a curriculum development course, and it takes you about a solid minute to realize that Mark Lee is sitting in the room with you. He had come in while you were busily typing out a text to a friend from your previous university. The classroom is not particularly large and you had taken a seat near the middle, so there aren’t many places for him to hide. When he walks in, he takes a seat by the wall closest to the windows. You consider greeting him, walking to his desk to try and talk to see if he had a change of attitude from the last time you saw him, but then your professor enters the scene. As he passes by the far side of the room, Mark looks up from his own phone and smiles, mouth instantly opening to greet him. You stay in your seat and try to look busy as you listen to them chat amiably. Mark laughs in disbelief at something your professor says about his vacation.
At the end of the lecture, you pack up your things quickly and make the effort to take a few small, light steps to catch up to Mark, who’s already leaving. “Hi, Mark! I didn’t realize we had a class together.”
He gives you a sort of half-shrug, keeping his head pointed straight ahead. Almost imperceptibly, his pace increases. “I guess we do.”
He opens a door to a stairwell, not making any particular effort to hold the door for you. Reflexively, you grab the door and slip through after him. You try again as the two of you head down. “Are you going to be home tonight? Jungwoo invited me to have dinner with you guys.”
“No,” he says, voice edged with irritation. He reaches into his pocket, fishing out his phone and a pair of earbuds. “I’ll be out.”
“Oh.” You slow down slightly. “Well, we should hang out sometime. My next class is this way, so… see you.” By the time you’re done talking, he’s slipped both earbuds into his ears and is pushing the doors at the bottom of the stairs open. You hold back a heavy sigh and shrug your backpack higher onto your shoulders.
As he told you, he’s not in his apartment that evening. Though Jungwoo had invited you to help cook dinner, he shirks his responsibilities, slipping away to play games with Donghyuck and leaving you and Jaehyun to cook, with relatively unhelpful commentary from Johnny, who was once again on the couch when you arrived. At some point, their friend Yuta slips in, steals some noodles, and leaves.
After the cooking is done, you and Jaehyun celebrate with a firm high-five, and Jungwoo and Donghyuck un-disappear, coming out of the younger boy’s dark bedroom. The lot of you are halfway through eating when Donghyuck perks up. “Wait, where’s Mark? He said he would do calc homework with me.”
You bite the inside of your cheek and hold back from saying that he told you he wouldn’t be home.
Thankfully, most of Jungwoo’s friends are nice to you and it’s easy enough for you to make friends of your own. You ease yourself into a routine of classes, homework, and hanging out with your new social circles. Mark doesn’t hide that he tries to avoid you about half of the time. At the same time, you try to split yourself between friend groups, as to not force him either to be around you or to not hang out with his own friends. There are the occasional large scale events that both of you are invited to, but there are enough people that you usually aren’t forced to interact. After a month of classes, you stop trying to start conversations, but you still greet him. He greets you back with the indifference of an overworked, tired stranger. During your class, he firmly ignores you. He does more than ignore you - he speaks to virtually every other person in your class except you. All of your friends carefully avoid the topic of his blatant dislike for you, though you know they all think it’s odd.
Finally, one of those large events comes to pass via the boy known as Zhong Chenle. He doesn’t go to your school, but is still somehow acquainted with all of Jungwoo’s friends, so he became acquainted with you as well. He’s eccentric and sarcastic and sometimes you see him playing basketball with Mark and Jaehyun in the school recreation center. So, when he rents out the local ice skating rink and invites you, you’re excited to go. It’s not often that you get onto the ice - it’s always a thrill after you re-learn how to skate, and you enjoy the feeling of the smooth gliding and wide, curving turns on the blades. You imagine that you’re painting with your feet.
Things go down smoothly, like you envisioned. After just twenty minutes, you’ve confidently found your ice legs and you’re racing around the rink with Donghyuck, playfully tipping each other off-balance with carefully or sometimes not-so-carefully timed pushes. A few minutes later, a new player enters the arena. Maybe if this new person weren’t Mark Lee, you wouldn’t have noticed their entrance, but your eyes are instinctively drawn to him.
The boy in question is clinging to one Lee Jeno, another friend of Jungwoo and Donghyuck and all the rest of them, as they both try to find their balance. Jeno seems to be having somewhat of an easier time with the skates on his feet, making slow pushes so that he glides short distances with Mark holding onto him. Mark is adorably flushed, in a way you haven’t seen before, his cheeks aflame with cold and embarrassment. His body is swallowed by an overly large hoodie, completing the cozy and cute look.
Your racing buddy has also slowed down to watch with you, staring at the scene. He suddenly nudges you with an elbow. “You should help him.”
“Jeno? I think he’s gotten the hang of it. Plus, I don’t know him that well.” It’s now a game of who can dodge implications rather than who can dodge physical pushes.
Donghyuck rolls his eyes, skating lazily alongside you. “You know I’m talking about Mark. This would be a great opportunity to get on his good side.”
“Why don’t you help him? He’s your boyfriend, after all.” If you weren’t focusing on turning your skates and keeping your balance because you’ve reached the short end of the rink, you would cross your arms and huff at him more dramatically.
He clicks his tongue sharply, something you know by now that he does when he’s irritated. “Mark isn’t my boyfriend. Doyoung and Taeyong are boyfriends. Mark and I are soulmates. And he’s still painfully single.”
“So are you!” As you protest, you realize that Mark and Jeno are getting closer. Donghyuck fires something back indignantly, but you’re just thinking about what he said before. The offer to help lies in front of you as a real possibility, but how would you feel if someone you hated came up and asked if you wanted help skating? If you really hated them that much, you would just think they were being condescending. The last thing you want to do is give Mark a reason to think you’re acting that way towards him. So, as you skate closer, you pick up your pace and speed on by, not even glancing at the two boys with their arms interlinked. Luckily for you, Jungwoo is just ahead, so you hook arms with him and jerk him forward with your momentum, making him yell out in surprise.
As you’re gliding along, laughing at your friend’s reaction and attempts to push you, Mark stares at you from behind with a small frown on his face.
“Mark?” Jeno’s voice snaps him out of it and he looks towards the younger boy. “Do you need me to slow down?”
“No,” he says rather grimly, “let’s go faster.”
You don’t speak to each other at all for the entire night.
The next month and a half passes unremarkably. Then, suddenly, midterms are rolling up and you find yourself swamped with work, especially in the class you share with Mark and your new friend Yuqi. At the current moment, you’re at your place with your head buried in your arms, groaning dramatically. “I can’t do this.”
Yuqi nods, looking somewhat dead inside. “Professor Lim hates us.”
“I don’t know what chapters we even covered half of the material in. Did he just make it up?” You lift your hand to paw through the textbook in front of you lazily, so much of it seeming foreign. “It doesn’t help that the Instructional Systems Design Model is such a big part of the project.”
“Maybe that’s in Chapter 1?”
You flip through her suggestion before slamming your book shut. “Nope.”
“I know!” You perk up at your friend’s revelation, looking at her from across the table. “We can just ask Mark! He’s good at this class, he probably knows.”
You stiffen at her suggestion. There was only one time you dared to ask him for help, in which he just brushed you off and said he was busy. Since then, you’ve resigned yourself to only asking Yuqi for help, no matter how clueless she is in this class sometimes. A brief moment of panic sends your heart racing as she whips out her cellphone. “Don’t mention me.”
She turns to look at you, finger poised to press call over her phone. “What?”
You put your head back down, muffling your words. “Don’t say my name when you talk to him.” She gives you a weird look, but shrugs, pressing the call button. “Wait! And put it on speaker so I can hear the answer. Please.”
Wordlessly, she rolls her eyes, but pulls the phone away from her face, setting it on the table in front of her. The call connects after two rings and you hear Mark’s voice with the staticky phone call filter over it. “Hello?”
“Hey, Mark! It’s Yuqi.”
“Oh, hi, what’s up?” He seems to brighten up, showing a pleasantness that you rarely hear from him these days.
“I just had a question about our curriculum development class. Do you know what chapter goes over the Instructional Systems Design Model? I can’t find it.”
“Oh, sure. Hold on, let me grab my notes.” From the other end, you can hear the distorted shuffling of clothes and paper for a moment. “It’s Chapter 4, I think. We didn’t really go over that chapter in class, but Prof. Lim told me when I went to his office hours.”
“Oh my god, thank you so much, Mark! You’re a literal life saver,” Yuqi gushes, about to practically kiss the phone in joy.
You press your hands together in front of you in a silent thank you. Mark laughs lightly into the phone. “No problem! If you ever need anything, let me know. I’m always happy to help.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you! Bye, Mark!” After receiving a goodbye from him, Yuqi presses the hang up button. She claps her hands twice in excitement. “That makes things so much easier!”
You’re stuck thinking about what Mark said before hanging up. It’s exactly in line with how Jungwoo used to talk about him - polite, helpful, friendly. An ugly part of you has to wonder what you did wrong once again. What part of you is undeserving of his kindness? An even uglier part feels the green flash of envy. “How do you have Mark’s number?”
“We had a class together like a year ago and he’s a pretty cool guy. Also useful to have around.” The image of them studying together, chatting like close friends, heads bent closely over shared notes, makes the parasite of jealousy dig deeper in your belly. The logical side of your brain knows you shouldn’t be feeling like this, but the two sides of Mark Lee make you want to throw an uncharacteristic fit. She tosses her phone to the side before flipping open her textbook to Chapter 4. “Why?”
“Were you guys ever… like…” You bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to say it out loud.
“Me? Mark? No, we just worked on a project together. I have no idea what gave you that idea.” She wrinkles her nose at you.
“You just talk to each other so casually,” you huff, trying to expel the negativity from your system, “I don’t know.”
“He’s like that with everyone,” she says easily, leaning back in her chair. “Except you, I guess.”
“Except me. I guess.” You parrot, not feeling any better about the situation. When you proceed to ask her if you did anything weird on your first day of class that would have put him off, she denies it, telling you that you were completely normal. Resigned to forget the mystery for the night, you open up your textbook.
Midterms pass with relative success. At least, with more success than you had at your old university. You’re excited for a break, a reprieve from the pain of studying. Johnny arranges a potluck and movie night at his place, assigning everyone a dish and putting you on dessert.
In your class with Doyoung, who is often assigned as the chef of the group, you pressure him for everyone’s favorites. “Something fruity? Chocolatey?”
“We’re split there. There’s not much you can do that would appease everyone, honestly. Some of them are the pickiest guys I’ve ever met.” He continues to scribble notes as you grill him for info, not even looking up.
“What if I did something different? Like matcha cookies?” You tap your chin in thought and Doyoung lifts a hand to point at you after the suggestion leaves your mouth.
“Yes, do that one. Basically everyone likes green tea.”
“Basically everyone?”
“Not Mark.” Doyoung shakes his head disapprovingly. “He’s not arriving until after we eat, though, so I’m sure it’s fine.”
You’re not sure what to say to that. That night, you work hard making your matcha cookies, setting aside a bit of time for a side project. When you arrive at Johnny’s apartment with two dishes, one quite a bit smaller than the others and labeled with Mark’s name, safely hidden in the pantry until everyone has stepped out of the kitchen area and you can put it somewhere you hope he’ll see it. You can only hope that he at least appreciates your effort. When he arrives a bit later into the night, non-gifting you his usual non-existent glance, you can’t help but impatiently squirm a bit. Before you leave, you make a pass by the kitchen and, disappointingly, but not surprisingly, the container is in the same place as you left it, your note still affixed to the top.
The mystery continues, however, when you approach Johnny a few days later to ask about retrieving your containers.
“There was more than one? I only have that big rectangular one that you brought the matcha cookies in. They were really good, by the way - I can only wish the cookies I make turned out like that…” He scratches his head and you feel like the gesture perfectly represents how you’re feeling as well. If he doesn't have the box… who does?
A small part of you holds onto the hope that the intended person retrieved them after you weren’t looking.
The class you share with Mark is not nearly the most interesting one you have, nor is it one that is particularly memorable most of the time. There’s something so terribly tedious about it that makes you suffer a disproportionate amount whenever you do a chapter of the reading, though you think that you’re usually quite good about your work. Still, though you’re not exactly the most studious of your classmates, you can’t stand resounding silences in the classroom. So, when your professor asks a question and no one volunteers, you try to at least say something somewhat intelligent. Today is one of those days. Except, as you speak, you realize with dawning dread that your words aren’t making any sense of all, are barely related to the question, and are progressively spiraling into completely different subject matter. Still, you find it hard to stop, eventually coming to a stuttering stop with your answer. Even Professor Lim can’t hold back something of a put-off expression. You sink lower into your seat and, as your professor says something along the lines of your comments being “not quite relevant,” your cheeks burn.
You spare a glance to the side, looking for some sort of pity or reassurance from Yuqi, but you end up looking past her at Mark. You half expect him to smirking at your failure, like a villain in a high school drama, but, instead, his eyes meet yours. He offers you the barest twitch of an encouraging smile before looking away, his face neutral again. You’re almost unsure about how to interpret the look - it’s the closest thing to a positive emotion he’s ever shown you. Confused, you fix your eyes on your open notebook and keep them there, scratching random notes and doodles into the margins for the remainder of the lecture.
When you think about Mark Lee, you feel like you’re going insane. It would honestly be pretty easy for you to make one of those crazy conspiracy theorist maps with the red strings and thumbtacks attempting to connect a bunch of pictures with all the strange, fragmented experiences you’ve had with the boy. At one position, you could put all the information you supposedly knew about him before even meeting him, all of the things Jungwoo told you, all the smiling pictures from before you arrived. Somewhere else, you could put all of the times Mark has brushed you off or outright refused to acknowledge your existence. In a third location, you could put all the things you’ve actively seen or heard him do that align with the person you thought he was. Finally, you could put the most recent developments of him subtly starting to not ignore you together. The whole diagram would be circled with giant question marks all over it and one question written in capital letters: WHY?
You’re trying to do your damn curriculum development homework and all you can think about is Mark Lee and the first smile he ever gave you. And, from the way your heart is beating, pushing heat into your face and ears, making you wistful and longing to see his smile again, you think you know the direction your feelings have headed.
The next few times you head over to Jungwoo’s place, it’s hit or miss as to whether Mark appears to be actively avoiding you. Finally, one day, you’re pressed shoulder to shoulder with Jungwoo, your eyes fixed on the small screen of your phone as you show him a funny video you found. You don’t notice Mark until he opens his bedroom door loudly enough that you look up and you meet his cold gaze. He’s in casual clothes, a hoodie and jeans, with earbuds hanging from his ears, his hair slightly tousled from the wind outside. The eye contact lasts for only a moment before his door acts as a barrier to your vision. You blink hard.
“Just when I thought we were getting somewhere…” You sulk, speaking lowly as to not be overheard by him.
“You and Mark?” Jungwoo asks, not even looking up. The video ends and your friend puts down your phone, folds his hands in front of him, and turns to look at you. “Did you ever figure it out?”
“Did I? How could I figure it out when he won’t even talk to me? Did you?” You lean away from him, crossing your arms. “Should we even be having this conversation over here? He’s just in his room.”
Jungwoo shrugs. “He has his headphones in, he can’t hear anything. To answer your question,” he pauses, leaning in closer to whisper like he’s telling you a secret, “I have no idea.”
“You must have some ideas at least?”
“I have many ideas, many theories, and quite a few formulas. Most of which don’t particularly apply to this situation.” You grumble something under your breath about engineering majors as he continues. “For Mark? He might be letting all the negativity he’s ever felt out on you, honestly. Maybe because you’re the same major?”
You sit up slightly straighter. “We’re the same major?”
“Yeah?” Jungwoo replies, giving you a look. “He’s trying to be music education instead of history education, though.”
“I never knew the specifics,” you mumble, letting your posture fall back into a slouch. In reality, it’s more than just not knowing the specifics - there’s very little you’ve managed to learn about Mark that you haven’t actively had to pry out of your shared friends. You know about some of the foods he likes, some of his hobbies, and a bit of general information. It’s awfully hard to get to know someone when they refuse to acknowledge you.
That notion makes your developing crush feel even stupider.
You attempt to turn the subject back to where it began. “Why me, though? Why not literally anyone else?”
“You’re a pretty cool person and you’re good at a lot of things. Mark’s developing an inferiority complex?” Jungwoo taps his chin as though he’s pretending to be some great thinker.
“I’m not going to lower myself to help some man’s ego,” you huff, your nails digging into your palms as you make tight fists. “Plus, there’s nothing I’m particularly good at that he’s not also good at, if not better.”
“It’s not really about ego, I think…” Jungwoo says, trailing off. “I dunno. He’s not like that with anyone but you.”
“No one but me, huh.” Honestly, you’re kind of getting sick of that expression. This isn’t the kind of exceptional you want to be to him. Not at all. You’re honestly not sure when it stopped being a simple need to be on pleasant terms with Jungwoo’s friends and started to get romantic. Your lips press into a thin line for a moment before you exhale sharply from your nose. “Everything is a big ‘I don’t know’ and I hate it. If it’s not an ‘I don’t know,’ it’s still stuck in the ‘why?’ stage.” You lay your head down and you have to resist the urge to scream into your arms. “I’m going to lose my mind.”
“You really make no sense at all.”
“It really makes no sense that I-” You bite your tongue to stop yourself to stop yourself from admitting out loud to the feelings you’ve just recently realized. Jungwoo just gives you a sly, knowing smile that you don’t like the look of one bit.
Before you know it, finals are around the corner and, with it, one of the last organized events you’ll have with your friends until testing is over. This time, it’s a group dinner where people can come and go as they please, and a few of you have taken it upon yourselves to do all the cooking. Namely, you, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Kun, and, surprisingly, Donghyuck. Suffice to say, the kitchen is not enough space for all of you. Still, you manage to pull it off, completing a hearty Korean-style dinner that slowly disappears from their dishes as all of the others eat. By the end, you’re worn out from the sweltering heat of the stove, the occasional bickering with the other chefs (‘Donghyuck, stop eating all the radish!’), and chatting with nearly every single one of your friends. Names and faces scroll through your head and you’re honestly not sure who you’ve seen and not seen by the end of it. Except for one person.
Mark Lee is, once again, nowhere to be found.
You make sure to smack away hands going for seconds in order to wrap up a moderately sized portion of food for him anyways. When all of the food, save for what you’ve set aside for Mark, is gone, Taeyong offers himself and some of the others up to clean, which you and the rest of the cooking boys eagerly accept. Most of them have headed out by now, but the few remaining begrudgingly agree to the job at Taeyong’s call.
You lean against the wall idly, watching the work being done and listening to the rhythmic sound of the water running and the sponge scraping against metal. Finally, Jungwoo happens upon the wrapped plate you had prepared for your missing guest.
“Who’s this for?” He asks to the room, almost salivating at the sight of the food. Damn, that boy can eat.
“It’s for Mark. You can give it to him when he gets back.” Your words are half informative, half threatening. Jungwoo takes the hint and carefully replaces the foil covering the food.
It takes another minute for him to look back over at you, seeing you looking bleary-eyed, close to swaying onto the floor from fatigue. He steps over, patting you on the head. “Y/N, you can go rest on the couch if you want. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I might just do that,” you respond, not clarifying which part of his sentence you’re talking about. At his behest, you shuffle over to the couch. It only takes a moment for your eyes to flutter closed. The music of washing dishes lulls you quickly to sleep.
You’re not sure how long has passed by the time you stir to the sound of the front door closing. You recognize that water is no longer running and that there are only two voices left in the kitchen area. Lying there for a moment, unsure of if you should make your presence known yet, you determine that the voices belong to Jungwoo and Mark.
“Oh, Y/N made sure to grab this for you,” you hear Jungwoo say, followed by the faint crinkling of the foil covering the plate.
“She did?” Mark’s voice is surprisingly soft, warm, everything you’re not used to from him.
The voices drift closer towards you, accompanying the slip of socks against the wood floor. “Don’t act surprised. Also, she’s on the couch sleeping right now. I’ll probably wake her up in a minute so she can go home.”
“Oh.” You’re listening as hard as you can, trying to determine whatever Mark is feeling just by his tone. “Is she okay?”
Your heart beats faster and you want to squirm, ask questions, anything. You remain still.
“Just tired.” A beat of silence. “Why are you looking at her like that?”
“Dude, I just…” Mark has some sort of lightness to his voice that you’ve never heard.  “Nothing.”
“Do you think I can’t tell? Come on, I’ve known you long enough.” Jungwoo would normally be teasing saying something like that, but right now you just hear a kind of weariness that you’re entirely familiar with.
“Not as long you’ve known her.” The sentence comes out bitter, the first negativity you’ve heard from Mark all night, and Jungwoo sighs in response.
“Do what you need to do and then I’ll wake her up.”
They walk farther away. The telltale sound of the microwave opening and shutting after the foil crinkles again, followed by the beeping of the buttons and the hum of the machine, tells you that someone is heating up the food. Under the microwave ambiance, you hear what you think is plastic against plastic. The machine is stopped before it can beep shrilly. The smell of warm, reheated food fills the air briefly. There’s shuffling as Mark presumably walks.
“Night.” Jungwoo echoes Mark’s sentiment and you hear more shuffling towards you. A touch on your shoulder. You keep your eyes closed, trying to control your breathing for a moment longer. Your friend shakes you slightly. “Y/N, wake up.”
You try your best to play up your awakening act, like you hadn’t been listening to the entirety of the last conversation. Rubbing your eyes and blinking, you look up at Jungwoo. “What time is it?”
“Almost midnight. Everyone went home to sleep and study.” You get up slowly, rolling your shoulders once you’ve sat up. “I can walk you back, if you want.”
“That’s okay, it’s not a long walk.” You get to your feet, padding to the kitchen area. There, on the table, is the plastic container you’d brought Mark’s cookies in weeks ago. “Oh, that’s my container. Did Johnny find it?”
Jungwoo reaches up to ruffle his hair, looking between you and the container. “Mark did, actually.” “Huh.” Shrugging, you pick it up and make your way to the door. “Tell him thanks for me.”
“You could tell him yourself?” Jungwoo offers, looking vaguely hopeful.
You smile, but cringe at the same time. “Yeah… you know.”
He shakes his head, seeming disappointed once more. “Fine. Text me when you get back?”
“Will do.”
As you walk home, your container clutched in your arms, you think about how more pieces are being unveiled, but nothing is really making that much more sense at all.
Finals pass as they always do. You study with Yuqi for your curriculum development class. The situation from midterms repeats itself almost exactly at one point, with her calling Mark for help and you staying quiet as he talks, and the test is no harder than any of the others you had previously in the semester. You force yourself to keep your eyes on your exam and to not glance over at Mark except when you’re walking out of the classroom at the end. All you can see of him is the back of his head, his hair slightly disheveled. Idly, you wonder if you’ll get over your baseless crush if you aren’t able to look at him and mull over the problem during class anymore. You think that’s the last you’ll see of him before you run into him at an event next semester.
On the last day of finals, your group chat receives two messages from Jungwoo.
JW: END OF THE SEMESTER PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT TO CELEBRATE FINALS BEING DONE BEFORE EVERYONE LEAVES. ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY.
JW: I don’t care if you planned a “date” with your “girlfriend,” I expect to see all of you there :))
A minute later, your phone buzzes again with an individual message from the same boy.
JW: Y/N, my lovely best friend, you’re part of the planning committee and you’re going to help me set up. Be there an hour early xoxo
You know there’s no use fighting it so, the next day, you show up to his place as expected. Jungwoo, Lucas, Yuta, and Johnny are all milling about, trying to seem busy but, honestly, there doesn’t look like there’s much to do. Some of the furniture has been moved to the side, there’s a giant mysterious tub that is partly filled with a reddish liquid that Lucas and Yuta are leaning over, and Johnny is affixing colorful lights to a wall. As soon as your shoes are off, Jungwoo is steering you to the common area.
“Y/N, you’re late!”
“I’m like ten minutes early-” You start.
“No, no, no excuses. I have an important job for you!” It takes you a moment to realize that he’s not leading you to the kitchen, but towards someone’s bedroom. “You like crafts, right?”
“I mean, I guess? I-”
“Great!” He pushes open the bedroom door, Mark’s bedroom door, and pushes you not-so-gently inside. Mark is sitting at his desk, bent over something with a look of surprise on his face. He looks cozy, dressed in a simple red t-shirt and gray sweats with circle glasses perched on his nose. “I want to hang about one hundred paper cranes around the apartment to add a little flare to the party. You can’t leave until you’re done, Mark has the paper, bye!”
He shuts the door behind him.
You and Mark stare at each other in bewilderment as you process whatever just happened. You’re in Mark’s bedroom for the first time. You’re also being actively forced to interact with him one on one for the first time. None of your friends had ever forced you to try and work out your issues until now and you’re certain that Jungwoo’s implication was that you’re not allowed to leave until you’ve talked it through. Some part of you knew he would eventually snap and force you to interact, but you always ignored that possibility. Until now.
“Um,” you start, twisting your fingers together in front of you, “he said you have the paper?”
“Yeah…” he looks back at his desk, grabbing some of the myriad of square sheets and holding them out to you. “Here.”
“Thanks.” You carefully make sure to prevent your fingers from brushing against his as you take them from him. Stepping back, you settle cross-legged on an empty spot on his floor. After you sit, you take a moment to look around. His walls have the occasional band poster plastered on them, there’s a hoodie on the floor across the room, and some of his drawers are partly open, illustrating a pretty typical college boy’s room. A couple of books are pushed to the side on his desk as he works on folding the cranes. Remembering that’s what you’re supposed to be doing, you get to work, making careful creases. Your first crane comes to life on yellow paper slightly lopsided. Good enough, you figure.
You’re in the middle of your second crane when Mark’s chair screeches quietly against the floor and he stands up, gathering his paper. To your great surprise, he sits down a few away from you and mirrors your pose. When you meet eyes with him briefly, you look away as fast as you can, returning to your crane before you can even try and read what he’s feeling. The next three cranes pass quickly with your eyes locked firmly on your work. When you dare to look up again, you find that Mark is intently watching your hands. He startles when you see him. Realizing he’s been caught, he speaks of softly. “Do you… know how to do it?”
Even when he’s the one talking quietly, looking embarrassed, you feel so small. You look down at his own paper pile, which has a few crumpled sheets surrounding it. “I can show you.” He nods and you cautiously scoot closer so that you’re side by side. As gently as you can, you explain each fold and he copies your movements. Soon, you have a relatively even green crane and he has a somewhat lopsided pink crane, very similar to your first.
“Thanks,” he says, staring at his creation, “all of the tutorials I googled weren’t making any sense, but I think I got it now.”
“No problem.” You nod, moving back to your spot across from him. Not wanting the experience to end quite yet, you think about what Jungwoo said last weekend. “Thanks for returning my container.”
He instantly knows what you’re talking about. “Thanks for-”
Before he can say any more, he stops and his expression hardens. He proceeds to look back down at his hands, making slow, purposeful folds in the paper in front of him. You frown, but do the same. A few cranes later, you can’t stop it anymore. After months, months, of him treating you like this, you can’t go one more crane without finding the truth. You throw a half-completed crane to the floor and, though the noise isn’t loud, he looks up. “Mark, what did I do?”
He seems entirely too surprised by the question, which sparks a kind of anger that you didn’t even realize you were holding in. “What?”
“What did I do! What made you act like this to me? Did I do something? Do you just hate my face? What did I do wrong?” You squeeze your knees brutally, trying to resist doing something like tearing up the few pieces of origami you had completed.
“Nothing.” His simple, one word answer only serves to make you more upset. Though he appears initially dismissive, he sees that you’re about to start shouting and quickly continues. “You really didn’t do anything!”
“Then, why? Mark, you’re making me lose my mind!” Now, you feel like you’re on the verge of crying out of frustration. So far, you’ve managed to not cry at all about this stupid boy who has largely chosen to ignore your existence, but you can feel the telltale warming of your cheeks and the pout in your lips.
“It’s not something you did! Not really.” He takes a shaky breath, appearing almost as upset as you, though there are no tears in his eyes. “It’s about Jungwoo. Please, don’t cry.”
The initial confusion helps you swallow your building tears. “If you’re upset at him, why do you have to take it out on me? I really wanted to be friends with you, Mark. I really did.”
“I wanted to be different.” Now, he’s quiet, refusing to look at you for the months of shame he’s feeling rise to the surface.
“From Jungwoo?” You’re not quite following still. You just know that, even though he’s subtly broken your heart and led you in circles over and over for the past few months, you want to know why he’s hurting and you want to stop it. Even if he hasn’t been full of kindness to you, he has been to everyone else. And you know almost for a fact that this isn’t something he’s told anyone else.
“From you.”
Pushing aside papers, crumpled partial cranes, complete cranes, you move closer to him. You’re not sure if you’re overstepping your boundaries and you still kind of feel like one wrong move will make you cry, but the yelling has left your system and your instincts say proximity will help you understand. “Will you explain it to me?”
“There was a you-shaped hole in Jungwoo’s heart ever since he had to go to college and stop spending so much time with you.” Mark’s resignation is quiet, soft-spoken, like the boy you’d heard so much about but only now had gotten to truly meet. “Whenever he came back from breaks, he would talk about you so much and about how similar you and I are and it just made me feel… it made me feel… like… I don’t know. Like I’m just replacing you while you’re not here.”
“Mark…” You’re not sure quite what to say that he hasn’t logically figured out for himself already. Maybe it would help to say the obvious anyways? “You’re not a replacement. You’re you and I’m me and he has different places for both of us.”
He lets out a puff of air. “I know that. It’s just the type of feeling that you can’t really get to go away, even when you try really hard to believe the opposite.”
“I get the feeling.” And you do. It’s like the nagging feeling that you’ve had that you did something unforgivable to upset Mark even though you were almost certain you didn’t.
“I was mean to you because at least that would make me different enough to not be replaced, I guess. It worked because you never stooped to my level to be mean back.” Though he hasn’t quite apologized, he sounds genuinely sorry.
“It worked because you couldn’t have been replaced in the first place,” you say back. You look over and he has a small smile on his face.
“That too. Also-” He stops himself, seeming conflicted. “No, it’s a bad time. A really bad time.”
That piques your curiosity. “Huh?” He’s not smiling anymore, instead looking awkwardly to his side, away from you, and drumming his fingers on the bed. “Mark, you might as well say it. Whatever it is.”
“Okay, after a few months, I realized that you weren’t going to replace me and things were fine. But, you know that thing that kids do?” You’re confused and he’s growing red, practically steaming at the ears in embarrassment, which you can see even in the dim light of the room. “So, I kept being mean because then you kept looking at me even though whenever I thought about what I said to you later, I always felt really bad-” “Mark, you’re rambling. What are you talking about?” You ungracefully interrupt him, touching his arm to get his full attention. He seems to grow even redder at your touch and suddenly exclaims his next words.
“You’re really cute!”
Slowly, his words make more sense. You try to piece them together out loud to make sure you’re understanding him correctly. “So… the thing kids do… where they’re mean to the person they like?”
He moves his head up and down in a tiny nod. Now, your face is heating up, too. Even more than it was when you were on the verge of crying. After a moment, he groans and presses his face into his hands. “Damn, I’m such an idiot. I know this is, like, what middle schoolers do, but since the beginning of the semester I’ve just been so confused, except you’ve probably been way, way more confused than me, and I didn’t even think about it, but all of our friends are probably confused, too, and-” As he jabbers, when your thoughts and feelings had been processing slowly previously, you now feel like your whole reality is crumbling. You spent the last while beating down your feelings when he’s become a pile of mush in front of you about the same problem? At this rate, he’s never going to stop rambling either. Not that you particularly want him to. It’s the most he’s directly said to you ever. And it’s adorable. What else would be adorable? You wonder, teasing him a bit before you tell him the truth. For how long he kept you hanging, you deserve to create at least some tension of your own, you figure. Just for a moment.
“- you’re probably thinking about how dumb this is and I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me-”
You sit up straight and cross your arms over your chest. “Mark.”
He stops talking and looks at you, more panic seeming to rise in his face at the serious expression you wear. “Oh shit, I never let you talk. Y/N-”
“Mark.” He finally stops, staring at you. “I don’t forgive you.” The panic turns into sheer terror. He clearly hadn’t expected you to put it so forwardly. However, before he can say anything truly depressing, you continue. “I don’t forgive you because you haven’t actually apologized yet.”
His eyes are like tiny suns, round and bright and holding all the feeling in the universe. “I- I thought…” He looks to the side, thinking about everything he had said, and realizes that you’re right. “You’re right. Y/N…” He presses his hands together in front of him. “I’m so sorry.”
It’s probably the most succinct and straightforward he’s ever been with you, but you don’t have much time to think about that before he’s leaning forward in a full bow, pressing his forehead to the ground.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-”
“Mark, stop!” As soon as you realize what he’s doing, you shuffle forward, putting both hands on his shoulders so you can attempt to yank him back upright. “I was joking, please stop!” He remains upraised, once again looking confused. Slowly, you move backwards about two feet to put some breathing room between you. “You don’t need to do that. I like you, too.”
One slow heartbeat passes. Then a second. You’re not sure how long the thick silence hangs between you, but the tension is so heavy that you don’t even hear any outside noise from the other boys who are supposedly getting ready for a party.
“You… what… wait, no, really?” Mark’s baffled face as he stutters back to you paired with the anxiety of the entire situation makes a laugh bubble out of your chest. He seems to be entirely at a loss. He continues to just stare at you wide-eyed, like he’s witnessing some incredible event instead of just ogling you in the dim light of his bedroom.
“Don’t look at me like that…” You can’t help but reflect some of his flustered behavior, eye contact becoming almost painful. He’s never met your eyes with such enormous positivity and cuteness before and it makes you want to run laps around the building or something. “Mark, I’m serious!”
“How could you like me back? When I was so mean to you? For months?” He begins to twist in place, trying to lean over and look at your head from multiple directions. “Did you fall down the stairs on the way over here and hit your head or something?”
“Mark!” You uncross your legs and shuffle closer on your knees, reaching out to still his movement by grasping his shoulders once again. “Please stop.” When you touch him, he freezes, still moon-eyed. After he stops moving, your hands slide down so that you can hold his. His hands are warm and stiff, just like the rest of his body.
He finally breaks eye contact, looking at where your hands are connected. “I just really don’t get it. There’s no way you like me.”
“You almost sound like you’re upset about it.” You tilt your head, smiling at him softly.
“I am!” He’s insistant, his hands holding onto yours firmly now. Though his grip is tighter, he visibly deflates, his shoulders sinking. “It’s so unfair to you. I was such an ass.”
“But you’re not. One ass-like behavior does not an ass make.” You almost confuse yourself saying it, but you continue. “It’s not about the times you were weird to me. It’s about the times you were nice to everyone else. Like when you helped Yuqi with our class. Or when you helped Donghyuck with his calc even though you aren’t even taking it with him. It sounds kind of dumb, but because of that, I knew you weren’t a bad person. Even if you were trying to be one to me sometimes.” Your thumbs run over his idly, making soothing strokes over his skin as you speak. “Still, you weren’t really all that mean to me, per se. More cold, if anything. Then, when you stopped doing so much of that, it got really confusing. I do have a question, though.”
“I’ll try to answer it, I guess.”
“Did Jungwoo really say we were that similar?”
He blinks. “Maybe once or twice? It just really stuck out to me, for some reason.”
“You’re cute.” He blushes furiously at that. Carefully, you untangle one of your hands from his and bring it up to his cheek, cupping his blazing face. “Do you want to try this? The being together thing?”
“I want to, but-” He presses his lips together, making his cheeks puff out slightly as he thinks. “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve a chance with you.”
Silence sits between you for a moment. Your hand moves back down so you’re holding both of his again. “I know what you can do to make it up to me.”
His eager eyes on your face prompts you to continue. Slowly, a grin threatens to split your face in half.
“I guess you’ll have to kiss me at least once for every time you were mean to me. Maybe more than once.” Your brilliant smile changes form in the air between you and reappears as the stars in his eyes.
“Practice round? Just to make sure I get it right.” The subtle flirtatiousness of the idea that leaves his mouth absolutely appeals to you and you agree. You move as close as you possibly can, your knees pressed together, your breath on his lips and his on yours, his soft bangs grazing your forehead. The touch of his lips against yours is awkward at first, but transforms into something sweeter with a little time. Once you both pull away, it seems you have the same idea when you both go back in for a few quick pecks afterwards. Finally, when you’re content for the moment, he leans forward quickly to press a kiss to your cheek.
You figure that a return to the work of folding cranes will help calm down your rapid heart rate, but every time you steal a glance at Mark, the butterflies return. You know for a fact that he keeps looking at you, too. By the time the noise level outside of the room increases and music is being blasted through the apartment, you’re nowhere near being done with all one hundred cranes, but both of you are sure your mutual friend doesn’t actually care about that. Together, you emerge from his room. You don’t answer any prodding questions from your friends for most of the time you’re mingling, though you’re pretty sure that a good number of them see him sneaking kisses at least once or twice.
Some of them definitely see when you sneak off to his room again before the clock has even turned to midnight. At the same time, you could be damned if you really care.
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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago
Text
Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 7)
(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4) (chapter 5) (chapter 6)
series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman-- even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.
word count: almost 3k?
warnings: slight breeding kink (but only if you speak romanian aksjghakgjhg), angst, violence (in the form of a fistfight, which the reader isn’t involved in)
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Just as you always did, you woke up to sunlight streaming in through the lace curtains, and a cool breeze blowing by.  What was peculiar was Sebastian next to you, sleeping peacefully as his chest rose and fell with relaxed breaths.  You let yourself watch him for a moment before you decided to try to sneak out for a cup of coffee.  Problem was, the bed was sort of creaky and it was very difficult to move without making sound.  Your plan was to move as slowly as possible, keeping your weight evenly distributed over the mattress, and it worked rather well— right until the last second, of course, when a loud shift of the boxsprings beneath you made Sebastian stir and blink open his eyes.
You were about to apologize for waking him, but he grinned and slipped his arms around you, bringing you back to where you started and surrounding your body with his warm, muscular form.
“Bună dimineata,” he hummed as he pulled you closer, his voice even deeper and more gravelly than normal.
“Bună dimineata,” you did your best to repeat it back, making him smile even though your pronunciation wasn’t great.  “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” he replied softly, heavily accented and clearly more a recreation of the sounds you’d made than real English, but still intelligible and so painfully adorable as well.  “A fost uimitor aseară.”
“Last night…” you began, but you didn’t even know where to begin.  What could you possibly say about that?  Would it even matter, if he can’t understand it.  “God, you’re fucking amazing,” you blurted out with a soft laugh.
“Sa o facem din nou,” he growled as he pulled you closer and kissed you, slipping his tongue into your mouth instantly.  A more self-conscious you— as in, you yesterday— would’ve worried about morning breath, but you now couldn’t taste anything but him and couldn’t feel anything but his lips on yours and couldn’t do anything but weave your fingers into his hair.
You moaned when his kisses trailed down your neck, and you wanted nothing more than to melt into his body one more time, but you had other things to attend to.
“I need to get up,” you announced as you tried to escape from his grasp, but he held you tighter and brushed his lips over your shoulder.
“Nu, nu, nu te dice,” he cooed, making you laugh and squirm.  “Stai in pat, fă dragoste cu mine toata ziuă.”
“I have to get up, I’ll be right back,” you tried to explain but he stayed ever vigilant as he held you tight and licked over the shell of your ear.  Finally you managed to get him to stop, as much as you didn’t really want him to, allowing you to slip out from under the covers and find your robe where it had been discarded on the floor.  
He watched you as you crossed the room and popped into the bathroom for your bag, pulling your birth control pack out of it and using a handful of tap water to wash down your morning pill.  “Ah,” Sebastian seemed to have a realization from the bed, and you giggled.
“Told you it was important,” you grinned.
“Probabil cel mai bine să nu ai un copil cu un străin,” he nodded, “dar nu sunt sigur că m-ar fi deranjat atât de mult dacă te-aș fi însărcinat.”
Following suit, he stretched briefly before getting out of bed and searching for his discarded jeans and boxers.  You made no effort to hide your ogling as you watched his cock swing between his legs.  Even soft it was thick enough that you couldn’t figure how it ever fit inside you (the delightful soreness between your legs reminded you that it was no easy feat).  He took note of your staring and grinned devilishly, leaning against the wall to give you a better look.  “Îți place ce vezi?” he purred.
“Should’ve known this would all go straight to your ego,” you chuckled.  “I’m gonna go downstairs for some coffee.  Do you want some?  Cafea?”
“Da,” he nodded, as he slipped his clothes back on, “mulțumesc.”  Funny how his idea of getting dressed still left him half-naked.
Foolishly, you expected him to let you pass, since you were both going to benefit from your trip to the kitchen; but of course he had to slip his arms around you from behind and give you just one more embrace, making you sigh and relax your head back against his shoulder.  He kissed the top of your head and you hummed happily, letting your eyes open to look up at him before taking a moment to look out the window you happened to be standing right beside.
You were just hoping to appreciate the countryside scenery, meaning that you were rather shocked and confused to see a car pulling up.  When it stopped and the driver stepped out, your eyes went wide and your back suddenly straightened itself.
“...Michael?” you gasped.  You wrenched yourself out of Sebastian’s grasp and started to run down the stairs.  He called after you but you ignored it.
Barreling down the stairs and out the door, you found your husband walking up the driveway.
“Honey,” he frowned when he saw you, “I’ve been trying to find you since you left— what the hell is going on?  Why are you wearing a robe?”
“It’s hardly nine in the morning,” you defended before you realized there were much bigger topics at hand: “Michael, what are you doing here?” you asked, after a few seconds of confused stuttering.
“I’m taking you home!” he replied, as if it were obvious.
“Oh my god,” you groaned, “don’t play stupid.  Do you think I’ve been here against my will, or by accident or something?”
“No, I saw your letter,” he sighed.
“And you saw the part where I said not to look for me, and that all future communication would come through my lawyer?”
“You’re my wife,” he replied coldly, “I think I’m within my rights to talk to you directly.”
“You shouldn’t have come here.  I was actually happy before you showed up.”
With perfect timing, Sebastian stepped out the door behind you, looking to you and to Michael, and back.  “Ce se întâmplă?” he asked you.
“Who the fuck is this?!” Michael asked accusingly.
“I’m gonna give you a chance to ask me that again, in a way that doesn’t make it seem like you have any place to judge what I might be doing alone with a man,” you hissed.  “He’s just the groundskeeper, Mike.”
“Then why is he shirtless?” he exclaimed.
“I don’t know!  He… does that a lot!” you exasperatedly shouted back.
“Look, I’m not angry,” Michael sighed.  You laughed bitterly.
“Good, cause you have no right to be.”
“But I think it’s fair if I’m worried about you spending months alone with strange men.”
“Oh, strange, is that the problem?  Strangeness?  Would some more familiarity— perhaps a familial relationship— between you and these men make it easier on you, Mike?”
“Honey, please—”
“Don’t call me that,” you grimaced.
Michael stormed towards you, and you felt Sebastian step closer to you as well, wrapping an arm around you.  Having him by your side made this significantly more awkward, but it made you feel safer, too.
“Hey man, get your hands off my wife,” Michael growled, pointing a finger at Seb.
“He doesn’t speak English,” you rolled your eyes.  
“Well, I’m not sure you do either— otherwise you would realize that we’re still married, and you need to come home.”
“Just because you won’t sign the papers doesn’t mean we’re still together,” you reminded him sternly as shook your head.
“I’ll end it with your sister, is that what you want?”
You laughed, because you were afraid if you didn’t that you would cry.  “Jesus, Michael!  Are you hearing yourself?  This sounds like a greek tragedy, or fucking EastEnders!  Next I’ll be discovering I have an evil twin, and you’ll bang her too!”
He was a lot more offended by that than you expected.  “It was never just sex.  I love her.  But I love you more,” he clarified, suddenly getting serious.
You chuckled weakly, hardly believing what you were hearing.  It’s not that he was ever particularly nice, or romantic or anything, but at some point in his life he had been incredibly intelligent… and now he barely made sense at all.  “Wow, you sure do know how to make a girl feel special.”
He frowned, clearly losing what little cool he’d had at first.  He had always had a bit of a temper.  “For better or for worse, we’re still legally married— damn it, we’ve been together for how long now?  And you’re ready to throw that all away?”
“No, but you were,” you spat back.
“But I wasn’t, and I’m still not.  You’ve gotta hear me out—”
“I don’t have to do anything—”
“No, you’re not listening to me—” he talked over you, again.
“I don’t owe you any more of my time—”
“Damn it, why won’t you just listen!” he growled, grabbing you by the arm suddenly.  Instantly, Sebastian stepped forward and pushed him back.
“Sebastian, it’s okay,” you tried to soothe him.  
“Hey, could you maybe tell your boytoy to keep his filthy hands off me?” Michael demanded at the same time.
“Mai bine ai grijă,” Sebastian hissed, also at the same time.
“I literally can’t,” you answered Michael.  “I told you he doesn’t speak English.”
“Yeah, well, I think some things transcend language,” Michael bit back.  “Tell me something, pal,” he addressed Sebastian, “did you fuck my wife?”
“Sper că nu spui ce cred că ești,” Sebastian shook his head, clearly on the end of his rope.
“Mike, leave him alone,” you demanded, but it came out sounding so much weaker than you meant it to.
“Did you,” Michael pointed to Sebastian, going so far as to poke him in the chest condescendingly, “fuck—” he mimed thrusting his hips, and you grimaced— “my wife?”— finally, he pointed to you.
Sebastian certainly understood that; and, in lieu of an answer, he socked Michael right in the jaw and sent him straight to the ground.
“Oh my god!” you yelped, dashing over to where your husband was crumpled into a ball on the gravel and kneeling beside him.
“What the fuck?!” Michael gurgled, holding his face in shock and pain.
“Are you okay?” you asked anxiously, spinning to look at where Sebastian was standing and looking much too proud of himself, shaking out the hand he’d just hit Michael with.  “Sebastian!” you scolded, making him give you a defensive look.
“Ce?” he shrugged flippantly, though he clearly felt a little guilty when it became obvious that you were irritated with him.
And that was how you ended up here, standing in the living room and tapping your foot quickly, staring at the couch where Michael sat with a bag of ice held to his jaw, Sebastian beside him (though as far away as possible) resting with another on his hand.
“You had no business coming here,” you informed your husband coldly.
“You wouldn’t know about this place if it weren’t for me,” he reminded you.  “Did you think I wouldn’t find you?”
“I thought you wouldn’t care,” you corrected.
His silence was stern, and he gave you one of those looks that used to scare you but now just made loathing and pity sink down in your chest.  It was ambiguous if he was too angry to reply or if he really had no defense.  After all, what reason did you have to believe that he would care about your leaving?
"If you're here to make me rescind the divorce order, it's not going to happen.  I'm not leaving with you.  I'm not forgiving you.  Please just go," you sighed.
"That's not why I came.  None of that is why I'm here," he mumbled.  "I came here…" he straightened up slightly, raising his voice confidently.  "I came here to tell you that I love you.  I need you.  And I want you back."
Now that he was looking right back at you, suddenly you couldn't take it anymore and turned your gaze away again.  
"Whatever you need me to do to fix this, I'll do it.  We'll get through this.  Isn't that what marriage is?  Fighting for each other, struggling together?"  He stood up and approached you, reaching out to rest his hands on your shoulders; you almost flinched when you felt his touch, but resisted the urge, glancing up at his face before looking over at Sebastian whose injured hand was twitching as he looked away with a tight jaw.  "Tell me how to make this right, please."
You tried not to look as Sebastian as you processed Michael's request; similarly, it seemed he was trying not to look at you.  But even if you ignored this new, peculiar romance in your life, your marriage was still broken beyond repair and you couldn't imagine anything that could change that.  "I'm sorry," you finally whispered, watching Michael's face fall, "I don't think there's anything you can do." 
He released you from his grip, less angry than you expected; more somber.  "I want to stay and work this out," he explained.  "Better yet, I want you to come back to London— come back home— so we can be together and discuss everything there.  But I'm only going to ask you one more time before I leave: stay with me.  You don't need to forgive me, or even love me again, at least not yet… just give me a chance to try to earn everything I took for granted."
You'd imagined this moment so many times: cursing him out, making him grovel, kicking him to the curb.  To be completely honest, you'd even imagined potentially taking him back.  But now that you were here and it was, somehow, real, your desire for vengeance was fading along with your desire for reconciliation.  
"I have something I need to give you," you whispered, walking upstairs and going back into your room, getting on your hands and knees to search the floor.  Finally, discarded in a dusty corner with slightly uneven floorboards, you found the ring you'd tossed aside the night before.  Fighting back against the tears welling in your eyes, you picked it up and came downstairs, holding it outward for Michael to take.  
"I'm not taking that back," he refused, shaking his head.  "You keep it for a while longer, until you're sure this is really what you want."
"I'm sure.  I'm moving on.  Take it back," you demanded.  He sighed but reached out and plucked it from between your fingers, pocketing it though still wearing his own golden band.  "Besides, my sister might want it."
He scoffed, turning as he began to walk away.  "You're cold."
"Frozen solid," you agreed.  "Goodbye, Michael… drive safe."
He shook his head and made a sharp exhale as he walked away, nearly slamming the door behind him.  You stared off into space as Sebastian silently watched you; you didn’t want him to see you cry, but it was starting to seem unavoidable as your lip quivered and your eyes grew wide with tears.
“Shhh,” he soothed gently, standing up and stepping forward to pull you into his arms.  “Nu plânge, e în regulă.”
"God, I'm so stupid," you whispered between sobs muffled against his chest.  "I'm so fucking stupid…"
He whispered to you and kissed the top of your head, repeating one thing over and over that you couldn't make out well against the sound of your own crying filling your ears.
But even without knowing what he was saying or what it meant, it made you feel better.
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As evening approached, you realized a new predicament had arisen: would Sebastian stay in your room again?  Would you go to his?  Or would you sleep separately, maybe even drift back to just being essentially housemates after a unique one-night stand?
Your questions were answered suddenly when Sebastian suddenly came to the couch and scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal a little before you relaxed and let him carry you to his room.  He all but threw you onto the bed, climbing on top of you and kissing you deeply as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck.
Already you felt more comfortable with him than you sometimes felt with people you'd known most of your life; you didn't feel self-conscious when he ran his hands over your body, you didn't try to suppress your moans when he kissed your neck for fear of sounding ridiculous— and maybe that was just because it was such a fantastical situation, so unlike yourself and so far from home, that it was easy to feel like a different person with him.
Or maybe it was that you'd spent so long trying to be somebody that people liked, and now you were being yourself for the first time in decades.
You couldn't really be sure.  And since your brain short-circuited every time Sebastian whispered something in your ear that just sounded filthy regardless of what it actually meant, you didn't have the time to think about it.
448 notes · View notes
sevlgi · 4 years ago
Text
how it feels
requested: no
group: stray kids
pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader
genre: fluff, slight angst
contents: high school!au but there’s not much school involved, best friend!hyunjin, mutual pining, hyunjin’s a hopeless romantic
warnings: none
synopsis: comforting your best friend after a breakup usually doesn’t involve making him fall in love with you, but both of you just want to know what it feels like.
a/n: yes hello please enjoy this fic that i’m randomly dropping in the middle of my hiatus 🙃 i’ll hopefully be able to write a gg fic of some kind for y’all soon! the ending of this is so fucking lazy, sorry
word count: 5.3k
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“Why, Y/N? Can’t she just tell me why?”
“I know,” you comfort, rubbing your best friend’s back as he sniffles with his knees up to his chest. It’s hard to see him in the darkness that’s brought by the blanket resting over the both of you like a tent, but in the glow of Hyunjin’s phone, you can see the tear tracks on his face. “I’m sorry, Jinnie.”
He pouts and scrubs yet another tear off his cheek, lamenting, “Why can’t I never fall in love with someone who loves me back? We’re only in high school, it shouldn’t be this complicated.”
Dabbing at his face with a tissue, you sigh, “I guess you have bad luck. Or bad judgement, could be both. There are plenty of people who are dying to love and appreciate you, you know, you’re the one who never spares them a glance.”
Hyunjin shakes his head. “No, those people only think I’m the long-haired guy from the dance team. They would treat me the same,” he frowns tearily. “I just want someone who likes me first.”
It always goes this way for him, you know-- you’ve seen it too many times, the stages of your best friend falling in love with someone who leads him on, enjoys his company for a while before dumping him and his expectations in the dirt. Maybe it’s the undeniable pressure to be the perfect partner that Hyunjin wants more than anything, or maybe he just always ends up liking assholes. But either way, it’s carnage for Hyunjin’s heart, and he never gets used to it no matter how many  times it happens.
He’s too sensitive and warm-hearted for his own good, so all he can do after the latest breakup is cry into his favorite pillow on a Tuesday night. If you weren’t so willing to immediately come to comfort him, Hyunjin would’ve been doing it alone, too, and he would’ve cried for far longer than he has.
“Who do I go to prom with now?” he questions sadly, breaking you from your recollections about the many times you’ve done this before.
Unfortunately, all his question does is make you laugh. “It’s a serious question!” Hyunjin protests, scowling at you.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” you say, still chuckling. “I mean, would it be so bad to go to prom with a friend? I’m sure Yeji- wait never mind, not Yeji… I’m sure someone would go with you for appearances’s sake. Or if you don’t mind, just ask Lix, he’s too nice to say no even if he wanted.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” he says, flopping back onto his bed. The clock by his bedside reads 2:33 am, and you can already feel your physics final cursing you. “I want to go with someone I feel something for, you know? It’s our prom, Y/N, I want to feel the prom-ness of promposals and picking out outfits and all that with someone I love.”
You shake your head and push his knee lightly. “Unfortunately, most people our age haven’t even been in love yet, so I doubt many people can help you feel it. But you know what I’m feeling right now?”
“Please don’t say pancakes,” Hyunjin groans, “I’m not waking my parents up to teach us how to use the stove again.”
Throwing a pillow at him, you roll your eyes, “I feel tired, dumbass. And we have finals tomorrow, so how about we invite our friends out to get boba afterwards so we can find you a prom date? You can complain all you like about how the three weeks before prom happens are too short to fall in love, yadda yadda.”
“Fine. But don’t mock me, my many feelings are perfectly valid,” your best friend warns you, and rolls over to turn the light off.
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Seungmin frowns when Hyunjin finally shows up at the entrance of the school’s closest boba shop, looking slightly disheveled from dance practice. “Finally. You’re annoying, and late.”
“Jeongin’s later,” Hyunjin objects, plopping down in the spot next to you and accepting the drink you hold out to him. The amount of mango yogurt with boba he drinks is definitely unhealthy (and expensive), but he’ll only groan more about his breakup if you didn’t get it for him. “Why do you literally never complain about him?”
“Jeongin’s cute, and you aren’t.”
The long-haired boy scoffs and sips at his drink sulkily as Felix returns with his own order. “Oh, hey, Hyunjin. I didn’t see you arrive,” Felix smiles sunnily. “Jisung’s not coming today, by the way. Something about having to stay for detention.”
You raise your eyebrows at that new piece of information. “Really? For what?”
“Playing a song entitled ‘Fuck You Bitch’ in Bio, I believe.”
Seungmin snorts in laughter, sighing fondly, “Sounds like him. Anyway, I heard we’re here to solve the problem of Hwang Hyunjin’s prom date. Or… lack thereof?”
“You’re so mean,” your best friend groans. 
Ignoring him, you clasp your hands on the table and lean in conspiratorially. “I doubt any of you haven’t heard at this point, but he got dumped, for lack of a better word, and now, like the rest of us, Hyunjin has no prom date. But unlike us, he actually still wants one.”
“I’ll go with you,” Felix offers, still chewing on the straw in his mouth.
You elbow Hyunjin, who pushes you back before responding. “Thank you, Lixie, but like I explained to Y/N, I want to go with someone I’m in love with. I want to know how it feels, you know?”
“I don’t know,” Seungmin deadpans. At Hyunjin’s crestfallen expression, though, he says, “I mean, we can definitely try, but I feel like the rest of the people left in this school are either too young or not your type. And is 3 weeks really enough for you to be ‘in love again’?”
“Knowing me, maybe…? But I think I’d need to know the person already,” your best friend pouts.
Jeongin arrives then, conveniently missing most of the conversation before he squishes in on the end of the booth. “Well, you better not try to fall in love with me,” the youngest grins.
“I’d never pick you,” Hyunjin jabs back. “But out of the people I do know…”
“I volunteer,” you joke.
Your friends snicker, thankfully, but the boy sitting right next to you turns with a thoughtful expression on his face. “Actually…”
“I don’t like that expression,” Jeongin narrows his eyes.
“I think I could fall in love with Y/N in 3 weeks,” Hyunjin says nonchalantly, as if it’s nothing. He completely ignores all the shocked expressions around him.
In truth, as easy as Hyunjin falls in love, he’s also incredibly easy to fall for. You’d never admit it to him, but you have loved him before, with the kind of burning passion that he somehow has with every one of his relationships.
You’re over it, and you have been for a long time, but him saying that maybe he could love you so very easily makes it all come back up to the surface. “For real?” Felix questions.
“I mean, I don’t like you yet--” your heart falls (stupidly)-- “but I think I could.”
“So… what do you want me to do?” you ask.
Hyunjin smiles, so pure and beautiful that you wonder how his girlfriend just left him, and says, “I want you to help me figure out how it feels to really be in love.” He scrambles to interrupt Seungmin, whose mouth is opening. “It’s just three weeks before prom. We’ll just feel happy together, none of the other shit--”
“You are so cheesy,” Jeongin interjects. “And I think you’ve watched too many dramas. Did you pause to think how Y/N feels about your plan?”
You appreciate your younger friend’s considerateness, but the guilty expression on Hyunjin’s face prompts you to say, “I mean, I don’t think I could like you like that, so… sure. I’ll help you.”
“Really?” All three of your friends ask as they turn to you. 
“Yeah,” you shrug. “What, you fall in love with me in three weeks for prom, I don’t reciprocate, but we move on as friends? I think it’ll be fine.”
“It never works like that though,” Seungmin doubts. He isn’t as cynical as he seems, but in the presence of overly-optimistic Felix and Hyunjin, he and Jeongin always end up as the voice of reason. Usually, you’re with them, but this time, you’re the one enabling the idiocy of the new plan.
Hyunjin grins, “Then we’ll make it work like that.”
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With the amount of time that passes before Hyunjin mentions his plot again, you almost forget about it. The first week is normal in a way that makes you nervous-- you hang out like normal, doing homework in the library with your friends as Minho harrasses Chan, eating lunch wherever you can find a spot. There isn’t really time to be alone, just the two of you, and you aren’t sure how Hyunjin is supposed to ‘fall in love’ with you if it’s just normal.
Of course, it doesn’t last long.
It takes a while for it to set in that when Hyunjin asks you to go watch a drive-through movie with him, it isn’t just so he can show off his brand-new car. It’s a date, and it’s stated painfully clearly in his text from the night before.
However, you don’t realize it until you’re literally getting into his car in front of your house.
“Wait. This is a date, isn’t it?”
Hyunjin chuckles nervously, looking over at you in the passenger seat, and you notice for the first time that he’s put on a bit of makeup, and his car doesn’t smell like Jisung’s hot cheetos for once. “I mean, yeah. I meant it when I said I wanted you to help, and I thought you did too? It doesn’t have to be one if you’re backing out, though, it’s totally fine.”
“I’m not backing out,” you shake your head. You really aren’t-- so far, nothing has happened that would make you want to back out yet, and no freshman-year feelings for your best friend have resurfaced just yet. “I just forgot. You know me.”
“Yeah, I know your goldfish brain,” Hyunjin teases, setting the car in motion. There’s lo-fi playing, and he’s a good driver, so you relax. “You forget everything.”
“I do not! You’re the one who has to be reminded of everyone’s birthday but mine,” you protest. If he wasn’t driving, you would shove him, and you remind him of that, to his dismay.
Hyunjin hums as soon as the two of you fall into comfortable silence, your foot tapping lightly to the music, and with the sun setting on the distant horizon, it’s so familiar. You try to interrupt the peace anyway. “So, what movie are we seeing?”
“10 Reasons I Hate You,” he answers. “It’s a classic, and you haven’t seen it.”
“And you love romcoms,” you finish.
He doesn’t protest, only sending you a small smile. You’re pulling into the theater already anyway, in one of the better rows to watch the movie as Hyunjin turns his radio on and starts fiddling with it. “There’s snacks in the backseat,” he offers, to no surprise.
They’re some of your favorites, though there are also the chips that he can’t live without. There’s a blanket, which drapes awkwardly over the cupholder between the two of you, and a bottle of juice that you place in his lap immediately. “You like watermelon juice more than I do.”
“Thanks,” he says quietly, almost surprised.
You scowl and poke him, allowed to now that you’re safely parked and waiting for the movie to begin. “Don’t act all shocked, we’ve been friends since orientation and I’ve spent more than half my paychecks getting this damn juice for you.”
“Mean,” Hyunjin protests, but he hands you your favorite soda from under his seat anyway. “And shut up, it’s starting.”
He seems to know the intro to the movie, smiling when the first line of dialogue sounds, all crackly over the shitty radio, and you eventually stop staring at him to watch the movie instead. Of course, you can’t keep yourself from asking, “Why do you like romcoms so much, anyway? You’ve never explained to me, for all the ones I’ve watched with you.”
“I like happy endings, I think,” the long-haired boy responds after a short pause to think. “Not to be dramatic, but I haven’t had one yet, so maybe watching other people being happy makes me happier too.”
You nod, taking it as a perfectly acceptable answer. Knowing how sentimental your best friend is, it’s nowhere near a stretch, either, being something that just fits with his personality.
He talks occasionally to tell you a little tidbit that he knows: by the end, you’ve learned about how it’s a modern adaptation of a rather misogynistic Shakespeare play, how the entire movie was shot without sets, and how the scene of Kat reading the poem was the first take. It’s interesting, of course, but you’re more captured by the way Hyunjin’s smile glints in the weak light filtered through the car windows.
The sky is dark when the credits roll and Hyunjin reaches for the steering wheel, almost too dark for you to see anything outside when you’re driving back to your house.
“So? How was it?”
“How was what?” you ask, moving your hands around vaguely. “The snacks? The movie? The date?”
“All of the above?” Hyunjin says hesitantly.
You answer immediately, “It was perfect. You knew that, though.”
“I didn’t really. I mean, I’ve never taken you on a date,” he muses. “And plenty of the people I’ve dated before weren’t even willing to watch a rom-com with me.”
“Then that’s their problem,” you say. “Anyone who isn’t willing to watch a rom-com with you is just an asshole, and I stand by that.”
Hyunjin smiles sweetly. You’re parked by the curb in front of your house at this point, so it’s slightly more easy to see the silhouette of your friend’s face. “That’s nice of you. I dunno though, I wouldn’t want to label everyone who doesn’t like romcoms as an asshole.”
“That’s not what I mean.” You shift a little bit to face him, pausing before you explain, “I think that if someone is so unwilling to try something that means so much to the person they like, then they don’t really like them.”
“I guess. You know, there’s another reason why I like romcoms so much.”
You don’t speak, waiting for Hyunjin to explain. And he does. “I think romcoms give me hope,” he nods. “Like… they make me think that anything’s possible, not just happy endings. Maybe the person who I don’t even have a chance with secretly likes me back, you know?”
“I can’t really imagine someone who wouldn’t like you if you liked them, but I think I get it,” you smile.
“At least you try. See you at school next week?”
“Come on, we both know that Binnie’s dragging all of us out to beat Chan’s ass at bowling,” you sigh, taking it as a sign to open your car door. 
Before you make it completely outside, though, Hyunjin’s hand rests on your wrist. “Y/N, thanks for tonight.”
“Anytime,” you respond breathlessly, closing the door a little louder than you probably should.
You do mean it.
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“Remind me again why we have to go prom outfit shopping together?”
Hyunjin pouts, peering in the window of yet another shop. His arm rests gently on your shoulder despite the way you jokingly pushed it off at the beginning of the day, but you really don’t mind. “Isn’t it cute to have matching prom outfits? We should be color-coordinated in some way.”
“I mean, sure… but isn’t online shopping just easier?” you ask, raising your eyebrow. “It’s the 21st century, Jin.”
“You’re so unromantic,” he groans, and finally pushes the door open to a thrift store to lead you inside.
You wrinkle your nose at the heavy smell of perfume that hits you as soon as you step inside. “And you watch too many movies. You’ve known me for almost four years, you aren’t going to have some magical moment where you realize you like me just because I put on a sparkly outfit of some kind.”
“Who knows? Maybe you’ll suddenly think that you love me when you see me in a tux,” Hyunjin grins.
You don’t respond to that, and he doesn’t push it, taking it as just another joke of his. Of course he doesn’t know about freshman year, and he definitely doesn’t know about how you still aren’t sure if that crush ever subsided. He shouldn’t know. 
He’s too picky to pick something at the first store, you know, so you just follow him around as he flicks through things that are either too fitted or too loose, too patterned or too plain. 
It takes three stores for him to finally something that he likes, and he appears from the dressing room with a gorgeous grin on his face. “What do you think?”
“It’s… good. I mean, you look good,” you clarify. Of course Hyunjin looks perfect in anything, but the dark navy jacket over the patterned button-down he was already wearing just seem like they were a combo meant for him. 
He isn’t satisfied with your response, towering over you as you slump lower in the chair. “Just good?”
“Hot. Stunning, beautiful, sexy-- is that what you want to hear?” you respond sarcastically.
“That’s exactly it!”
Rolling your eyes, you pick up your things from the chair and say, “Then we’re done? Are you picking this one?”
“Yeah, but what about you?” Hyunjin asks. “Do you already have something, or are we going to get something? I’m still waiting for my kdrama moment, you know.”
You definitely don’t have something at home, but you don’t think you could bear being on the receiving end of the drama moment that your best friend so desperately wants. Something about having him suggest something for you to wear, reacting as dramatically as you know he will, just won’t allow your old feelings for him to sit still.
“I’m good. Let’s check out, and get some ice cream?” you offer to placate him.
Hyunjin grins and offers his arm to you again, practically skipping to the checkout. “Sounds perfect to me.”
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“Y/N, what the hell do I wear on a date?”
“How should I know?” You sound listless, flicking through one of the mangas that one of Changbin’s friends left as his house.
“You literally went on a date with your freshman year crush last week and then picked a prom outfit with him,” your friend scowls, tossing a shirt at your face. It’s clean, thankfully, but you still chuck it back at him.
“In my defense, I forgot that it was a date,” you respond, “and shut up about the ‘freshman year crush’ thing. I never would’ve told you if I knew you would use it against me like this.”
Changbin throws yet another piece of clothing in your direction, narrowly missing your face, and you raise a pillow to threaten him with. “You got me into this mess with Felix in the first place, so I think it’s even.”
“It’s not a mess if it’s what you asked me to do,” you complain, “and besides, you wouldn’t stop talking about this date for the past week despite it literally just being something we do together all the time.”
“I like Felix, I don’t like you.”
“Then I’m leaving you to agonize over your collection of colorful track pants on your own,” you warn, and he subsequently shuts up. “There we go. Don’t wear one of those, by the way, even though Felix wouldn’t say a single thing about it.”
“How was the date, by the way? And the three-year-old feelings?” Changbin asks as he continues to dig in his closet.
You hesitate. “It was… nice? Hyunjin knows way too much about Julia Stiles, but he was super enthusiastic and the movie was pretty good. He got the good snacks, too.”
“You know that’s not what I meant,” he sighs. 
“Then what did you mean, Mr. ‘I Love Lee Felix With My Whole Tiny Brain’?” you challenge.
Changbin doesn’t take the bait, unfortunately. “Jeongin told me about the whole plot you and Hyunjin have going on. Are you really dumb enough to think that you can get him to love you without falling for him again, and then leave him after it?”
There’s no way to respond to his question without making a complete fool out of yourself, and so, you simply don’t. Apparently in one of his more coherent moods, Changbin continues on, “I’d say that you watched too many movies, but I’ve seen you avoid Hyunjin’s movie nights. What the hell is going on with you?”
“I mean, have you seen the way he looks when he wants something?” you answer unintentionally. “Obviously you weren’t with us at the at the boba shop, but I’m serious. I couldn’t say no to him, especially when he’s heartbroken.”
“What does he look like?” Changbin asks.
You sigh, “He… his eyes get kind of shiny, almost like he’se about to cry but not really like that. And I don’t really know, he just looks like he’d be sad if you said no but wouldn’t talk about it, and that’s the part that makes you want to say ‘yes’.”
“It sounds to me like your three-year-long crush is still here, then,” your friend replies. “Because I have never felt that way about Hyunjin before, but I know what expression you’re talking about.”
Staring at him like he’s grown two heads, you realize that he’s wearing a jean jacket that shouldn’t have taken so much time to pick out. “That’s a stupid conclusion.”
Changbin shrugs and picks his phone up on his way out. “You can think about it as stupid if you want, but I’m usually not wrong about this. I’m going now, do you want a ride or something? You can stay here as long as you want, though.”
“I’ll walk home, it’s still noon,” you answer. You need to think, anyway.
He walks to the kitchen for a drink of water, he claims, but he picks up his phone on the way there, presumably to talk to Felix like the lovey-dovey fool he is. You wrinkle your noise and wander in the hallway, fully intending to bully Changbin about his crush as long as possible.
But his low voice, echoing from the kitchen, definitely doesn’t sound like flirting. When Changbin strides out, on a mission, it’s obvious that something is wrong. “We have to go,” he says. “Jeongin and Hyunjin got in an accident.”
Fear bubbles in your throat, and you yank the front door open harder than you could’ve thought possible. “What? How? When? Is it just the two of them? Are they okay?”
“Minho says that he doesn’t know yet, he’s driving there too. They aren’t calling the police, they’re apparently fine enough to get us,” Changbin says as he backs out of the driveway. “But we better get there as soon as we can.”
“Then drive,” you exhale sharply, slamming your seatbelt on as if it’ll stop your heart from beating out of your chest.
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You leap out of the passenger’s side before the car even stops moving, finding Minho and Chan’s cars both parked at the side of the road behind the silver one that you remember to be Jeongin’s parents’. There’s a huddle of people there, Seungmin and Jisung parting so that you can make your way to the center.
To your relief, both your friends are okay; Hyunjin’s sitting on the trunk of the car, massaging his legs, and Jeongin’s definitely wincing a bit too much when he moves his neck. The car is dented, but not to the point of no repair.
Still, anger clouds your vision.
“What the hell’s wrong with the both of you?” you almost shout. “And what the fuck happened?”
Hyunjin starts, “Y/N, calm down. I was trying to teach Jeongin to drive, and we went a little off course--”
“Teaching him to drive, on the damn highway?” you question furiously. “You barely got your license three months ago, I get that you’re a good driver, but you aren’t a good enough driver for this! Whose idea was this?”
Jeongin timidly raises a hand, but Felix stops you from saying anything more. “Let’s all calm down, okay? Y/N, our friends are fine,” he says, low voice barely audible over the wind whipping around. “Everyone’s alive, which is the most important part here, and we can fix the car, which isn’t all that important. Let’s just focus on getting someone here to help, okay?”
“I’ve called my uncle to come and tow the car, we’re just going to get Hyunjin and Jeongin to the hospital, okay?” Seungmin reassures you. “Changbin’s car is too small, and you’re the better driver, so you and Hyunjin take it. Jeongin will come in Minho’s car with me, and we’ll meet you there.”
You nod stiffly and get into the driver’s seat first, pretending like you don’t notice how Chan pulls Hyunjin back to talk with him.
You shouldn’t have gotten angry; it doesn’t make sense to be angry at all. You should’ve been scared, worried, anything but angry, and so, you can only try to calm your breathing by the time Hyunjin sits next to you and Chan’s car sets off.
“Why are you so mad?” he asks quietly.
It’s the wrong thing to say; you turn your head to him, incredulous. “Why am I mad? You could have died, both of you could have died!”
“And? How many things have we all done together that could’ve ended with us in a ditch?” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “Hell, you were the one who decided that it would be fun to jump from the roof into Seungmin’s pool last summer, what’s changed? I get it, it was stupid, but you’ve never been so mad about something like this before.”
You exhale, tapping your fingers on Changbin’s steering wheel as you follow your friends’ cars. “To be honest, I don’t know.”
“Okay.”
It’s completely silent after that, at least until you reach the emergency room.
Jeongin and Hyunjin are fine, thankfully; the youngest has twisted a muscle in his neck, but it’s nothing that can’t heal on its own, and Hyunjin’s knees are merely bruised. Jisung’s the one who tells you, the older two of your friend group apparently dealing with the parents of the injured.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” he asks, patting your arm. “You reacted a little… adversely earlier. Did you and Hyunjin have a fight?”
“Why is it always about me and Hyunjin?” you ask with narrowed eyes. “Can’t I be mad because they almost got themselves killed?”
Jisung raises an eyebrow. “You never get mad when we almost get ourselves killed, that’s Chan’s job. And you were basically yelling straight at Hyunjin, I’ve never seen the guy so scared.”
You exhale and sit back in the creaky hospital chair. You wish you could tell Jisung if there was something wrong, but you honestly don’t know what it is. “I don’t know. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”
“You tell me, dude,” Jisung chuckles. “I think you should think about it. I mean, there’s barely two weeks until prom now, you barely have time to back out anymore.”
“Why would I back out?” you stare at him.
He pushes you to stand, and only says, “Think about it yourself. Okay?”
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You don’t tap out, but only because you don’t get Hyunjin alone enough to do so.
After your little yelling fest at him, he obviously doesn’t want to just talk to you, despite how you publicly apologize to both him and Jeongin. You don’t sit together during movie night, you sit at opposite corners of your study table in the library.
Until Felix’s parents invite all of you over to take prom pictures, all you get is a stilted silence.
“You look nice,” he mumbles when the two of you get ushered together in a pair. Except for Felix and Changbin, all the others are by themselves, and you wonder why Hyunjin was so hellbent to get himself a prom date when almost everyone else didn’t bother.
He himself looks absolutely perfect, his hair styled to perfection and a slight pink glittering on his lips. The suit that you picked out together is paired with a patterned shirt that you’ve never seen before, and it perfectly matches your own hastily-purchased outfit. Hyunjin offers a flower to you, color-coordinated, and you hold it in one hand with the other on his arm. “Thanks. You too.”
“Okay, smile, everyone!” Felix’s mom grins behind the camera. “Couples, stand closer together a little bit!”
With a (rather convenient) nudge from Minho, Hyunjin’s hand slips onto your waist, and heat rises to the tops of your ears. Felix’s mother is pleased, though, and the photos carry on with the occasional hoots of laughter when Jisung smacks a kiss onto Seungmin’s cheek and gets clocked as a result.
Conversation is never stilted when you’re with your friends, so despite the silence between Hyunjin and you, there’s no awkwardness during the ride there. Silence only falls when it’s just the two of you standing together in the corner of the venue, all the others off to dance or raid the buffet table.
You decide to speak first. “Are you pissed at me for yelling at you? Because I said I was sorry, and I am.”
“I’m not pissed at you,” Hyunjin shakes his head.
“Well, you’re sure acting like it,” you snap. With a sigh, you end up apologizing again, “Sorry. I just… I know that the plot was mostly a joke, just to take your mind off of the heartbreak and stuff. I kind of messed it up.”
“You messed it up?” He stares at you.
“Well, yeah… I yelled at you, didn’t I?”
Hyunjin sighs, almost like he expected a different answer. “No, that didn’t mess anything up. I mean, I got what I wanted, anyway.”
“And what was that?”
“I fell in love with you.”
It’s your turn to watch him, completely shellshocked. The sparkling, multicolored lights of the venue bounce off him like an otherworldly glow, and his eyes sparkle even though he’s avoiding your gaze. Maybe all the people falling at his feet, you included, are onto something. “I mean, it’s not exactly what I wanted,” he blabbers. “I wanted to be in love without it hurting, and obviously that failed, but… I should’ve known that it wouldn’t even take three weeks for me to love you.”
“Hyunjin.”
Your best friend still doesn’t look up, so you just ask softly, “Why does it hurt?”
“You don’t like me back, of course it hurts,” Hyunjin frowns. 
“Who said I didn’t like you back?”
He’s quiet, eyes flicking up to you like he thinks it’s Jisung pranking him or something. “Do you mean it?”
“We’re stupid, Hyunjin,” you laugh. “We’re so, so stupid. I had a crush on  you since we met, for two whole-ass years.”
“Well, I liked you for almost four, so I think I beat you there,” he says. But there’s a relieved smile on his face, his eyes curving prettily as he reaches for your hand. “Then… do you want to dance?”
“No romcom shenanigans,” you warn, but you allow yourself to be tugged out to the dance floor next to your friends with a smile.
Hyunjin’s grin as you twirl him around under the burning neon lights suddenly makes it seem like everything will just... magically be okay. If you had just been a little more courageous (or a little less stupid), maybe you could’ve seen it earlier.
But good things come with time and patience. And with all the patience you’ve had, waiting for this to happen, the way you finally feel with him makes it all worth it.
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inhuman-obey-me · 4 years ago
Text
The Agony & The Ecstasy
Can also be read on AO3 here
Word Count: 5.2k
Description: #HappyBirthdayAsmodeus 2021!! Before he was the Avatar of Lust, he was the Jewel of the Heavens. A journey from the angel Asmo used to be, to the demon he's become.
[cw: sexual mentions]
The Agony
He sat before the mirror of his bedroom, sketching his lean cheeks with their high bone ridges, his soft lips, the gentle curls of his champagne-toned hair, the light in his orange-yellow eyes.
The Jewel of the Heavens, they called him. The most beautiful of the angels. So lovely that even Jophiel, the patron angel of artists, had asked if she could have a painting to keep of him. And so, here he was, trying to capture his image on canvas for the archangel.
Asmodeus was proud of how everyone admired him, but truthfully he didn't think it was anything so special. Rather, he was more focused on how lovely everyone else around him was. He wouldn't say that he wasn't beautiful, but so was anyone, in one way or another. There was so much to admire in everyone that his heart ached every day. He longed to help them see themselves the way he saw them.
The lilting notes of a bird's song through the open window broke him out of his thoughts, and he set his sketch down for the moment to greet it.
"Well hello, bluebird dear," he greeted it with a smile, holding his hand out. "How are you today?" The bird trilled with delight in response, rubbing its head against his fingers, and he laughed, petting the creature. "Your singing is so lovely, my dear. What a beautiful day to hear your song."
"Oi, Asmo, good, you're here!" he heard his brother call from below the window. "Lilith and the twins snuck off down to the human world again, could ya go get them? Geez, those troublemakers...I've gotta help Lucifer with somethin' so I need you to go, okay?"
"Whaaaat, they went and they didn't invite me?" he pouted. "I can't believe them!"
"Hey, hey, that's not the point," Mammon groaned, rolling his eyes at his younger sibling. "Gabriel is looking for Beel and Belphie, and you know he'll flip if he finds out they went down to the human realm without permission."
"Okay, okay, I got it. I'll get them, don't worry! Walk with me to the portal?"
"Agh, I'm busy you know," Mammon groaned, though he didn't seem all that upset. "But fine, I get it, ya wanna spend some time with your big older brother! Leave it to Mammon!"
"You tell yourself that," Asmo giggled. He hopped down from the window, fluttering down gracefully on the lightness of his robes. "So where in the human world do you think they went this time?"
"Well, you know, Belphie always wants to go to that circus he likes. He mighta dragged the other two along with him."
"Ooooh, right, the circus! The acrobats are so graceful, with the way they glide around in the air. They don't even have wings, but they figured out a way to look like they're flying! Humans really are interesting, aren't they?"
"You think so? I think it's kinda scary, man," Mammon shuddered.
"Well just because you might trip over yourself even on the ground doesn't mean everyone's that clumsy!" Asmo teased.
"Oi! Take that back! I can walk just fine, thank you!"
"Heehee!"
"Anyway, if they're not at the circus, maybe one of those restaurants? Beel's been eating a lot lately, maybe he wanted to try some human realm food."
"Ah, yeah! The fancy restaurants down there make such pretty dishes! The chefs are such artists," Asmo said admiringly, eyes glittering. "I'd like to try one too..."
"Hey, don't forget you're goin' there to get the twins to come back! Don't get distracted by running off down there yourself!"
"But I never get to go down to see the human realm! And the three of them like it so much, you know, it'd be nice to see how pretty everything is for myself," Asmo smiled innocently.
The two of them stopped as they reached their destination.
"Oi, Asmo, I'm serious. You better not go off hitting on everyone you see again," Mammon warned.
"Hey! I'm not hitting on them, I just think everyone is beautiful, and they should know it," Asmo protested. "You're just jealous because they like me more than you. But if you saw the good in everyone you met like me, they'd love you too! You should try it sometime!"
"Ugh, Asmo...don't be gross. And seriously, come right back once you find them. Gabriel's gonna have my hide too if they don't report to him soon, after he asked me to send them over."
"Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll be back before you know it!"
The younger brother waved breezily as he stepped through the portal.
--
When the light of the portal faded from his vision, Asmodeus found himself in a quiet, hidden spot of a sunny park. Birds chirped, dogs were playing, and he could hear the screaming laughter of children from farther away. In the distance, he could see a news board by the nearby street, which seemed as good a place as any to start checking for information about the circus.
Before he could make it over there, though, a young woman stopped him. "Ahh, excuse me! I just, um, y-you're really handsome, and um...I-I just wanted to say hello. Are you visiting our town? Would you like to spend some time together....maybe come with me to the bakery down the street?! I want to get to know you," she blurted out.
He laughed with delight. "Oooh, aren't you adorable! Forget me, you're so pretty yourself! Your skin is so radiant, and your eyes are so sweet," he cooed. She blushed bright red at the compliments immediately. "Oh! But...I don't have time to go to a bakery right now, I'm looking for my little siblings. Unless you've seen a pair of boys with a girl around there? A tall guy with orange hair, and a sleepy black-haired boy?"
"I, um..." she paused, mind racing on how to keep him interested. "You know, I-I might have seen them. Or maybe, um...maybe the baker has! P-people are going in there all the time, you know, s-so maybe he might have seen them...? I'm sure he'll be able to help!"
It was fairly obvious that she was lying, but Asmo couldn't help but be charmed by her shy attempts at staying with him. His heart tugged him to go along with it anyway, just as it tugged at anyone he came across, especially those who were so drawn in by him too. He couldn't help it, even if it got him into trouble at times. So he agreed.
"Hmm, is that so? Okay! Let's go then."
She led him along the road to the bakery, an extravagant little spot for the size of the shop, where the man at the counter unhelpfully told them that he'd seen a lot of boys around and couldn't possibly remember them all. "Maybe if you buy some bread, I might remember better. I recommend some of these tarts...and you'd better take this big loaf right here too, to be sure I don't forget again," he said with a vicious grin. "We charge by the ounce, of course."
The angel gave him a bright smile back. "Oooh, they do look delicious! You must be so talented to create such beautiful things, sir! Oh, but...I don't have any money on me..."
This clearly irked the man, though something about Asmo's cheerful expression at least stopped him from throwing the pair straight out of the shop, as he usually might with people like this, who came in with no money. He eyed the golden bangle on his visitor's wrist. "Give me that then," he demanded, pointing. "I'll give it to my daughter. She'll like it."
Against his better judgment, the angel obliged. After all, it was just a part of the human world disguise he wore - he could just make another one later. And the baker was going to give it to his daughter, which was certainly kind. Or at least, he thought that was better than just selling it, like most people would. How lovely for a father to want to give his daughter nice presents. "Here, you can have this then. So, about my brothers...?"
The human greedily snatched the bangle from his palm. "Sure, they came in, just about an hour ago probably. The orange-haired one bought more bread than I thought I would sell all day. The girl, she was talking about wanting to visit someone in town. She didn't mention where, but it sounded like it was near the square. And the boys, they wanted to go to the circus that's visiting. They're over at the edge of town."
Satisfied with this new information but not exactly pleased about what the exchange had cost him, he thanked the baker and excused himself from both humans.
Frustrating as it was, this was how it always went. Asmodeus felt himself filled to the brim overflowing with love for everyone, painfully so. And no matter how they lied, or tried to trick him, or took advantage of him, he still loved them so much. It wasn't that he was naive, or that he didn't notice, but just that he always still saw the good parts of them too.
At least he knew where to head from here, though. It sounded like Lilith had probably split off from the twins, but since Mammon had only asked him to send Beel and Belphie back, he'd worry about her later. First, the circus.
Luckily, by this point, Belphegor had been caught dragging his twin to such shows often enough that Asmo could pretty easily predict what area of the audience he'd find them in. He made his way into the tent and quickly located the pair. "You two!" he hissed quietly from the row behind them. "You know you shouldn't be running off to the human world while everyone is still working! Mammon said Gabriel was looking for you. You'd better get back, right now!"
The twins looked at him guiltily, two sets of apologetic eyes. "Sorry, it's my fault...Lilith said she wanted to visit someone, and you know Lucifer always scolds her not to go down alone. So I said we should come too," Beelzebub explained quickly.
"It's my fault too, Beel," Belphie added. "After she met up with them, I wanted to come see the circus again...sorry."
"Ahhh, okay, okay! I can't be mad at such cute younger brothers! Just hurry up and go!" Asmo said, waving away their apologies. "I'll find Lilith to make sure she comes back okay too."
Relieved at his easy forgiveness, the two of them slipped out quietly to head back.
The elder brother sat there a while longer. He'd never actually been to a circus himself before, and he was curious. It was entrancing - contortionists twisting their bodies in fascinating ways, trapeze artists flying gracefully across the air, the balance of the tightrope walkers and the authority of the ringmaster. Though he didn't know them, his heart ached with admiration at the performers below. It was easy to see why their youngest brother loved coming to these so much.
Before he knew it, he had stayed to the end of the show, and the audience was filtering out around him. But he didn't want to leave just yet, and longed for more. Without really thinking, he wandered out to the back of the tent, to the performer's entrance.
"Oh? A fan?"
He blushed a little as realized his mistake, meeting the eyes of the acrobat who had addressed him. "Hi there! I guess you could call me a fan, yes? Your performances out there were just sooo beautiful!"
An amused smile crossed her face. "Well aren't you a cutie. What's your name, hon?"
"I'm Asmodeus!" he replied cheerily. "But my brothers call me Asmo."
"Asmo, eh? Heh. Well, thanks for the compliments, Asmo," she said, leaning in to play with a strand of his hair. "I'm Naamah. Glad you enjoyed the show."
From this close, he could see every detail of how stunning the woman was. Her makeup was thick, as it needed to be for the stage, but it suited her somehow, like her face had always been meant to wear it this way. A tight bun of dark hair sat atop her head, ringed by a blue and red crown of feathers that matched the bright colors of a costume that showed off every curve of her slender, athletic body.
"In fact, Asmo, my dear fan," she continued, "today's your lucky day. I don't feel like sticking around for another of the top hat's fucking lectures about how we need to do better tomorrow. So what do you say we go find ourselves a party, love?"
He thought guiltily back to Lilith, who he had promised to find and escort home. But on the other hand, she had come to see someone, and he didn't really know when she'd be done meeting with this person, or where they were at this point. And he'd never actually been to a party before...
--
"Have another drink, Asmo, I insist," Naamah laughed tipsily, passing him another cup of wine. "You act like you've never let loose before!"
Truthfully, he sort of hadn't, and for his part, Asmodeus was having a magnificent time. A quaint little band of musicians played upbeat, joyful music from the edge of the courtyard, which was packed with merry folks in all sorts of costumes. His new friend had mentioned on their way here that it was a costume party, and the costumes truly did not disappoint - people here were dressed up as angels, demons, all kinds of animals, and even as things he'd never heard of before. Even after changing partially back into his angel form to let his wings free, he didn't feel like he stood out any more than anyone else.
And the dancing! The overflowing love he felt had an outlet for once, here where he could feed the energy back through his movements, passing from partner to partner without anyone to scold him for being too loose with his love. He couldn't help but think that the Celestial Realm felt so stuffy by comparison - all music back home being generally restricted to choirs to their father, and none of the raucous laughter and chatter filling the air the way the humans were doing here. The seraphs were strict on the lower angels, insisting on upright perfection at all times.
"This is so much fun," he said as he clinked his new cup against Naamah's with a laugh, giggling even harder when she then leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Pass it on," she dared in a whisper to his ear.
Being the Jewel of the Heavens, always filled with love as he was, it didn't take long for him to find another person to pass the kiss on to. He got up and lightly pecked a man by the sidelines on the cheek. "Hi there, darling. Would you like to dance?" he asked sweetly.
The man reddened slightly at the kiss but agreed quickly to a song, and Asmo found himself soon in another round of dancing, whirling between partners until he had probably danced with each person at least three times. Mid-step as he was about to pass to Naamah again, he noticed a figure moving quickly by from across the road.
A very familiar figure.
"Ack, I'm sorry - I've got to go," he said quickly, leaving his companion very confused as he dashed off from her and the rest of the party.
"Lilith!" he called out, chasing after her in the now-fallen night.
His sister startled at the sound of his voice. "Asmo? What are you doing here in the human realm?"
"You know, really I should be the one asking you that, sis!" he responded, patting her on the head as he caught up. "Mammon sent me here to find you and the twins. Although I, hehe, might have gotten a bit distracted on my way to find you after I sent the twins back. Okay, your turn, what were you doing here?"
She looked away shyly. "I was just, um...meeting someone."
"Ooooh? Tell your big brother more," he teased.
"Well, um...a-actually, Asmo, you love everyone, right? But how do you know you're in love with them?"
That certainly caught him off-guard.
"Hmmm? I never really thought about it," he mused. "I guess it feels kind of warm and fuzzy, right? Or...sometimes it's stronger. Like fire! Like your whole body is in flames, and you're going to burst apart in one biiiig explosion!" Teasingly, he grabbed her by the shoulders and mimicked some explosion sounds. "Why, my dear sister, have you fallen in love with somebody? Were you down here to ask the humans for loooove advice? Who is it, hon? Uriel? Israfil?? Camael?? Or - don't tell me it's Michael?!"
"N-no!" she said, eyes wide. "Ahh, no! No, it's not like that! And don't tell Lucifer or Mammon that I asked about this either!"
Her older brother just giggled mischievously in reply. "Well, let's just get back," he answered, placing his hand on the tree by where he'd landed earlier to open the portal back up.
When they stepped through, their two eldest brothers were waiting for them with scowls.
Lucifer spoke first. "Where have you two been, exactly?"
"Eep! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stay out so late!!" Lilith squeaked, quickly hiding behind her other brother. "I just, um--I just wanted to go meet with someone. And I lost track of time."
"What about you? Don't tell me ya got distracted hitting on people again," Mammon said, turning his attention to the other just-returned angel. "I've been havin' to cover for ya all day! Raphael is not happy."
"Hey, you're the one who sent me down there to find the twins!" Asmo argued back.
"Yeah, and they came back ages ago! So where have you been!"
"Well, one of the acrobats from Belphie's circus invited me to a party, so I--"
"A party?" Lucifer growled. "You were out late for a human party?"
"I mean...! I didn't know where to find Lilith or when she'd be done meeting her person, so I just thought I'd have some fun while I was down there," Asmo pouted.
"You still shouldn't be going to human world parties, Asmo," the eldest lectured, refocusing his gaze on their sister. "And as for you, about that person you went to meet...why are you meeting with a human?"
She just looked away.
Lucifer sighed. "Never mind, we'll talk later, Lilith. Just go back to your rooms for now, it's late and the next patrols will be by soon. You're lucky Mammon was the one on duty tonight and reported it straight to me so the other seraphs don't know yet."
With relief, the two of them scurried away back to their respective living quarters.
Back in his room, Asmodeus looked over the sketch of himself he'd been working on earlier that day. After the excitement of the day and the party, it looked so bland now that he looked at it again. It was perfectly in line with the classic portrait style of paintings all over the Celestial Realm, but it felt so flat. He saw the good in everyone, right?
And the best thing about him wasn't his face, or his hair, or the way the sunlight fell perfectly across his face at noon. No, the good thing about him was how he loved everyone, wasn it? The love that filled him to bursting at every moment, the love that felt like heavenly fire coursing through his heart every time he looked at someone. That was what made him the universally admired angel that everybody loved back. This painting needed to show that overflowing love too, didn't it?
He tore the canvas off, stretching a fresh one across the frame to start again.
&
When Lucifer came to the brothers to say he was going to rebel against their father, Asmodeus didn't hesitate. All of them had heard about what Lilith had done, and how she was set to be punished for it with obliteration. Utter destruction, wiping her from existence. And for what? For her love?
Well, Asmo was intimately familiar with getting in trouble over love. He'd certainly felt the sharp end of Raphael's spear enough times to know that love was not especially prized or respected in the Celestial Realm. Their father had created him with this overwhelming burning of love towards all, yet that same father commanded the angels without regard for love. It was his rules that forbade Asmo from having outlets to express his love, and it was those same rules that would now destroy his sister.
Lucifer had already tried arguing for mercy, to no avail. It didn't matter if it was out of love; all the worse, in fact, because Lilith wasn't supposed to have gone down to the human realm in the first place, let alone fallen in love with one of them. Their father didn't care about love. So, Lucifer would fight.
And so would Asmodeus.
The Ecstasy
When he came to, the first thing Asmo felt was weightlessness.
It wasn't just his clothes, which had transformed from a billowing mass of white robes to a slender, form-fitting black tank top and pants. Nor was it how his large, elegant wings were now turning to four smaller, curled bat-like ones.
No, it was the lack of burning fire in his chest. What normally felt tightly contained within him was looser, freer, like something had unlocked inside of him, allowing it to spill out.
It was such a jarring, unfamiliar feeling that he gasped out for air.
"Asmo!! Beel, Belphie! Levi! Are you all okay?!" Mammon called out at the sound, rushing over. He had landed not too far away, and seemed to have undergone his own transformation, his usual softly draping outfit now full of sharp, cutting lines instead. In fact, it looked like everyone had either changed or was mid-transformation.
"Where's Lilith?" Beelzebub asked immediately, sounding panicked. "She got hit by an arrow earlier and fell during the battle, is she here?! Is she okay?!"
Belphie sat up and looked around before shaking his head. "I don't think she's here," he said softly. "What happened?"
"Mmm, well judging by how we all look, I guess we're...demons now?" Asmo chimed in.
"Aaagh, dammit! I saw Lucifer fly down all of a sudden while we were fightin', but I don't see him here either. He's gotta be around here somewhere though," Mammon said. "C'mon, get up, guys. Levi, you okay over there?"
A pitiful mumble of affirmation came from the cerulean-haired lump. Levi had awoken but, it seemed, simply opted to stay laying on the ground, as if laying there would erase away everything that had just happened.
After a quick check over each of them, Mammon seemed satisfied that there were no major injuries, at least. Aside from, obviously, them all having lost their angel forms, and seemingly having transformed into demons here. Which meant...
"Welcome to the Devildom." A demon in a crisp black and red uniform walked up to them with a polite smile. "Lord Diavolo has requested for all of Lucifer's brothers to come to the RAD student council room at once. Of course, Lucifer himself is there as well."
Ignoring the confused chatter of the brothers, he led them to a grand building, through beautifully sculpted hallways, and into a large courtroom-like chamber.
A large, dark-skinned demon in what looked to be a red school uniform was seated at the judge's seat, and beside him...Lucifer, in a similar uniform as the man who had led them here, as well as a scary-looking blond individual they didn't recognize.
Five piles of cleanly folded uniforms sat on a table in the center of the room.
In what felt like a whirlwind of explanation, the demon at the center introduced himself as Lord Diavolo, confirmed that they were indeed demons now, and explained that, as the demon prince and current ruler of the Devildom, they were now part of his domain. This was RAD, a school for demons, and the demon who had led them here was Barbatos, his personal butler. His father, who had passed the reigns of power but still commanded more respect among the nobles, would help work out the details of their new positions here in the Devildom, but he wanted to welcome them as members of the RAD student council.
It was a lot, but most importantly, they would stay together down here. They would live together, with Lucifer working out the details of their new home, and they would attend this school. Apart from this, they would be eventually assigned other responsibilities, but they would be otherwise free to enjoy the Devildom as they pleased.
As they pleased. Asmodeus wasn't sure what this all meant for them, but he liked the sound of that phrase.
--
Asmo sighed happily, gazing at himself in his vanity mirror. He looked perfect. His outfit was perfect, with pearly flower earrings perfectly matching the flowery sleeves of his shirt.
After they fell, Mammon had worried and fussed over everyone - not that he would ever admit it outright. Still, the worry had been unmistakable, checking in on each brother every day to make sure they were adjusting okay. But for Asmodeus, things were more than okay. It was like a blindfold had been removed from his eyes.
When he looked at himself now, he understood why everyone had always fawned over his looks - he was gorgeous! How had he never seen it before? He was dazzlingly beautiful. No wonder they had called him the Jewel of the Heavens! And though he was no longer part of, well, heaven, he was still the most stunning being to exist, in all the three realms.
That being the case, it was only right to share himself with everyone, right? Everyone had always wanted to gaze upon him, and at last, with the chains of celestial modesty shed from him, he understood that it was his responsibility to share this gift of his beauty with all.
"I'm heading out!" he called out to his brothers in the common room as he skipped out of the house with excitement. By this point, he'd been to tons of parties, but the joy of it never really wore off. The energy, the dancing, the drinks, the new people, and most importantly? Getting to do whatever the hell he wanted.
The pumping music and the flashing lights of the club greeted him as he threw open the doors. "Who's ready for an Asmo party?! Your Avatar of Lust has arrived!" he cheered.
Everyone in the club went wild immediately, as they always did for these. A night of partying, hosted by the Avatar of Lust, filled with dancing and drinks, and inevitably ending in a wild orgy at some nearby hotel room with as many bodies as could be crammed in? The demons at the club always went wild for an event like that.
Cambores, his good friend, came up immediately to give him a kiss on the cheek and pass him a drink. "Asmo, baby, we've been waiting for you! There's a whole line of succubi who have been begging for a dance with you tonight!"
"Only a dance?" he giggled impishly, as he waved to the line his friend pointed out. "Well, they do have to take turns, since a beauty like mine has to be shared with everyone. But we'll have to see if any of them can tear themselves off of me after a dance!"
Wasting no time, he grabbed the hand of the first one and whirled her onto the floor. "Bothothêl, you're back for me again tonight," he teased. "Didn't get enough of me last night?"
"No, never, Lord Asmodeus," she responded, gazing adoringly into his eyes. She shimmied against him, pressing herself close against his body, and he responded in kind. "I want you every night if you'll allow it."
"Well, I'm flattered, my dear," he answered in a sultry whisper against her collarbone, "but I'm afraid you can't hog beauty like this. But maybe next time I eat you out, I'll eat your heart along with it so I can carry you with me, if you want to stay beside me so badly." He felt the lust emanating from her at that, and took the opportunity to give her a little nibble against her neck, before twirling her away to pull forth the next two succubi from the line at once.
By the tenth or eleventh song, he was about ready for another drink - and some actual action, rather than the intimate but very short flirts he was having with his dance partners. "Sarabocres, darling," he greeted the bartender cheerfully. "Can I get a Brimstone Kiss? And...a Death Tequila Sunset for this new friend of mine right here," he added, tugging over a random demon who had caught his eye from further down the bar.
"O-oh, um, Lord Asmodeus! T-thank you," the demon sputtered in surprise.
"You're welcome," he smiled sweetly back. "So you know my name, what's yours?"
"Kamusil, sir," she answered. Her eyes sparkled as she took him in, though she quickly scooted back and looked away. "Wow. You're even more beautiful than everyone says."
Smirking, he placed a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze back up to meet his. "Well, no one can accurately describe perfection, after all. But no need to be shy, cutie, you can drop the sir and all those formalities. Tell me, what kinds of secret desires are you hiding? If you could have, hmm...let's say, ten demons here in your bed tonight, who would they be?"
As if in a trance, any hesitation in her dropped away immediately. She pointed out various demons to him, some he recognized and some he didn't, all of them drop-dead gorgeous.
A mischievous smile spread across his face. He gave her a quick smooch, and whispered, "Okay, wait for me just a bit then, and don't you leave before me. Okaaay? We'll have a good time tonight, I promise."
With that, he downed his newly arrived drink and returned to join the throngs of dancers.
--
What a fun plaything she'd been, truly. Despite having been so shy, Kamusil had really had a knack for spying some of the wildest partners he'd been with in quite a while. He lay idly in the bed, tracing the sleeping form of one of the many sexed out demons beside him.
It would be an exaggeration to say they'd all explored pleasures together he'd never dreamed of - he was the Avatar of Lust, after all - but certainly there were some obscure things he got to try out that night. And there was always tomorrow, or the next night, or the next.
After all, there was nothing stopping him anymore. No shame, no modesty, none of the rules binding him. He could do whatever the hell he wanted.
And he loved it.
168 notes · View notes
thenamesseven · 4 years ago
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Pairing: Lee Donghyuk x Reader
Genre: Comedy, romance.
Warnings: None, just some swearing.
Word count: 6.2k
Plot: You didn’t know how your best friend had managed to convince you to go to this blind date, you hated the idea and you knew it was not going to be succesful since the very beginning, specially since she refused to tell you who the guy was. If only you had known it was Lee Donghyuk, the only person in this world that seemed to hate you, you wouldn’t even have bothered to get dressed up in the first place.
Check out the NCT masterlist here for more oneshots and stories!
A/N: This is a part of an event I wanted to participate in! You can check the event’s masterlist here to see more upcoming oneshots!
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Sitting on the passenger seat of your best friend's car you stared ahead at the american styled cinema, where the blind date she had organized for you would take place in. You kept internally swearing at yourself, trying to remember why you had agreed to something like this in the first place. Yuna had been insisting about this for an entire week and you had grown tired of her whining at some point so you had accepted that the only way to make it end had been accepting the blind date and here you were, having a mental breakdown while desperately trying to calm yourself down. You couldn’t lie though, the idea of opening the car door and running away before she could catch up to you had crossed your mind more times that you would like to admit but you knew Yuna would ran you over with her car to stop you if she had to, she had no mercy when it came to things like this. 
Dates had never been your forte and you didn’t need to be a genius to guess blind dates weren’t going to be suited for you either. It was not that you were socially awkward, in fact, you had always been the kind of person that attracted everybody’s attention unintentionally, your big, bright smiles always lighting up the room you were in. The cheerful yet easy-going aura that surrounded you 24/7 lifted up even the worse moods and your positive mindset gave you this chill flow that turned contagious, people basically loved to be around you.
Although the little confidence you seemed to have around your friends was quick to vanish when you found yourself alone with someone that was of the opposite sex. Compliments made you stutter, innocent caresses made your eyes zero on the ground underneath your feet and flirting turned your face red. Everyone thought it was cute, guys kept muttering how their heart melted when you turned so shy around them but you honestly didn’t like it, in fact, it only made you feel even less confident when any of those things happened. Nobody noticed it made you feel uncomfortable, that the constant fidgeting that you unconsciously did when all of those things happened wasn’t because you were too shy but because you wanted to get out of there. You tended to avoid all those kinds of interactions at all cost and that implied avoiding dates. Being single is alright anyways, you didn’t feel an urgent need to change that.
So again, why the hell were you here then?
“Ah-ah” The sudden voice of Yuna, the one to blame about your current situation, made you jump on your seat, not having expected her to speak up out of nowhere. Your hand moved away from the door handle as if it had burned you and your eyes closed defeated while you slumped back against the leathered seat “Don’t even think about running away” Her warning made you whine, face scrunching up in dislike which earned you a strong slap on your arm.
“Ow!” You screamed shocked, opening your eyes to look at her in disbelief “What was that for? I wasn’t going to run away!” 
Struggling to keep her serious face on, Yuna glared at you “You’re going to ruin your make up if you keep frowning so much!” She scolded, rolling her eyes when you lied at her “Please (Y/N), we both know you suck at lying so let’s just ignore you were trying to open that door and started running as if you were possessed” 
“Please Yuna?” You asked quietly, almost ready to kneel down on your seat and start seriously begging “I’ll do all the house chores for a week, I’ll even do your laundry” When Yuna shook her head, you sighed in frustration, knowing she was determined to make this blind date happen no matter what. “What’s so special about this date that you’re not letting me back down from this?” 
“I’m doing it for you, I’m sure you’ll have fun in this one” Yuna said gently, her smile turning sweet as she faced you, reaching out to rest one of her hands on your shoulder so she could give it a soft squeeze “Trust me, I’ve never lied to you, have I?”
“Well” You said quietly, giving up as you relaxed, a smirk appearing on your lips “Actually…”
“Get out of my car!” She screamed, not letting you finish the sentence that would refutate her last question “Take your ass into that cinema and have fun tonight, you’ll tell me all the details later!” 
Opening your mouth, you were about to let out another little rant full of complaints and whines but Yuna, who had obviously seen this coming, sped up and left you completely alone in the parking lot. A cold breeze blew right on time, making your body shiver as you slid your sweaty hands in your pockets, your brain still trying to weigh the decisions you had in hand.
Enter the cinema and attempt to enjoy your blind date or be painfully murdered by Yuna.
You were too young to die, your daily life was awkward enough so why not add a bit more of it for a few hours?
“I’m seriously going to kill her when I get home” You muttered out loud, fixing your jacket as you forced yourself to start walking in the direction of the cinema. One step at a time, moving against your will.
Right when you approached the door and reached out to pull it open, someone else pushed it from the inside, almost hitting your face with it. Ready to scold whoever had been so careless, you put your baddie face on and rested your hands on your waist copying the position Yuna used to scold you whenever you did something wrong. Although it was a couple who walked out, hands intertwined and eyes too focused on the other to even realize you were standing there. You opened your mouth to say something but your heart clenched just in time to stop your own voice, feeling bad for almost interrupting the little moment they were having. You could only look at the both of them as they walked away, a quiet sigh exiting your lips when you felt a spark of jealousy in your chest, being single might not be as fun as you wanted it to be, if only dating was simple as that couple made it be....
"Get out, I'm late!" 
Interrupting your train of thoughts, a presence behind you and apparently willing to head inside the cinema at light's speed pushed past you without even looking back to see if he had made you fall down.
"Hey!" You shouted, stumbling back but luckily resting your hand against a nearby wall to steady yourself, frowning at the masculine figure that ran inside the cinema. He was now the new target of your inner frustration, which had gotten so much stronger that you didn’t even realized that voice didn’t belong to a stranger but to someone you fairly knew. You caught a glimpse of his long black coat and his fluffy hair but it still didn’t ring any bells to you "Ugh, why so-"
Dusting off your clothes, your eyes landed on the watch you had chosen to wear tonight and when you saw the time, your heart literally stopped beating. You had arrived fifteen minutes earlier, how were you late all of a sudden? 
"Excuse me!" You exclaimed as you ran past the cute couple, barely managing to dodge them as you rushed inside as well. Their complaints were cut off by you closing the cinema's door behind you but you weren't fast enough to stop your own feet before walking into the guy that had made his way in before you, the one that ran into you like a freaking rugby player. 
"Ow!" He jumped away when your face slammed the back of his coat, sending waves of pain through your nose. Your hands flew to your face and you bit down hard onto your lower lip to not start swearing like a truck driver. "Dude, watch where you're going!"
"Where am I going?" You said in pain, still covering your face as you tried to get rid of the couple of tears that had appeared in your eyes "What were you doing standing there like a creep?" You heard him groan and the sound only seemed even more familiar but you still couldn't guess who he was. 
"Wait" Surprised by the sound of your voice, Donghyuk turned around so fast that he almost hurt himself. His eyes opened wide and his mouth opened and closed as if he was a fish out of the water. "(Y/N)? Is that you?" At the sound of your name you couldn’t help but peek up curiously, willing to see who was the one to blame for almost breaking your nose. 
The first thing you saw were the white and spotless adidas he was wearing, they seemed new unlike the ones you had at home which were totally worn out from how much you’ve been wearing them. Then your eyes moved up without missing the way his black tight jeans hugged his legs, leaving little to nothing to your imagination as the white oversize shirt he was wearing left you wondering what could be hiding underneath it.
“Are you checking me out?” Donghyuk asked scoffing, still looking at you “Gross”
“D-Donghyuk?” His name came out of your lips in a quiet whisper, stuttering it. You sniffed quietly, rubbing your nose one last time before putting your hands back down into your pockets “What are you doing here?” Your question brought frowns up to both of your faces, this was why you tended to avoid dates, what kind of question was that in the first place?
“I could ask the same thing to you” He replied smugly, shrugging as he turned his full attention on to you. 
Getting slightly self-conscious, you gathered all the courage that was still remaining in you and crossed your arms over your chest, slightly raising your chin a little so you would look a bit more intimidating instead of looking like a lost puppy. 
“I’m here because I’m going on a blind date” You said, your lips unconsciously scrunching up in a cute pout “Why?”
Donghyuk and you weren’t best friends, you didn’t even know if the two of you were even close to be friends to begin with. He was in most of your classes which had forced the two of you to interact a couple of times but he always seemed to be kind of unwilling when it came to maintaining a conversation with you. You didn’t know why but you always assumed he just didn’t like you, your parents had always told you not everybody was going to want to be your friend and he, apparently, was one.
“A blind date?” Donghyuk started laughing at your words, looking at you as if he had just heard the funniest thing in the universe, hands resting upon his stomach as he slightly bent down a little bit. After almost five seconds where you were seriously considering he might have lost his mind, Donghyuk’s smile disappeared and was replaced by a straight line. “You’re kidding me, right?” Blinking, you could only stare at his face feeling extremely confused, was he mad now? How did he go from laughing his lungs out to look as if he wanted to punch you?
“Are you bipolar?” You blurted out, not even thinking before making the question.
“Are you dumb?” He reached out to knock on your head gently, making you flinch underneath his knuckles every time they met the side of your skull “Sounds empty to me so yeah, you might be”
“Ow!” You pushed him away, not willing to be knocked on the head again, throwing daggers with your eyes at him “What’s wrong with you? Did you lose your mind or something!?” 
“Please tell me Yuna did not set you up for that date” He whined, stomping one of his feet down onto the floor as he ran his fingers through his hair, kind of messing it up a little bit. Stress was evident on his face now and you were too busy wondering how could he go through so many emotions in such little time to remember you still had to answer him “(Y/N)? Are you even listening to me!?” He snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, bringing you out of your short trance to meet his once again.
“She did….Why?” You replied, slightly tilting your head, looking at him expectantly to see which emotion will you be able to see on his face this time.
It was frustration. 
“Why? Why!?” He exclaimed, resting his hands on his hips, eyes as open as ever as he stared down at you “Mark! I’m so going to kill him” He fumed, not answering your question, confusing you even more with his random answer.
“Mark? What does your best friend have to do with this?” You asked, reaching up to scratch the back of your head, feeling extremely lost in this conversation. 
Donghyuk whined once again “You’re really are dumb, aren’t you?” He said looking like he was about to cry from how angry he was “Mark and Yuna are dating, they obviously set us up on purpose!” The lady at the front desk flinched a little bit when he raised his voice even more, you smiled apologetically at her and bowed your head lightly, apologizing for his behaviour.
Now it made sense why Yuna had refused to even tell you the name of the guy you had to meet. 
“Don’t you trust my taste?” She had asked with a cute pout, one she knew you wouldn’t be able to resist “He’s a good guy! You’ll have so much fun with him” Yuna giggled mischievously, reaching out to grab both of your hands so you could keep your attention on her “And he’s quite handsome too, you’ll thank me for this”
“How would I find him in that place though? I don’t even know how he looks like” You had complained, looking at her, knowing she already had an answer for that.
“You’ll know when you get there, don’t worry about that!”
Yuna’s giggles and words hadn’t been suspicious back then but now that you replayed the conversation in your head, you saw the obvious signs of her pulling you into one of her naughty plans. She was surely going to hear a good scolding from you as soon as you set one foot into your apartment, oh, she was going to regret this so hard.
“Quite handsome my ass” You mumbled pouting, voice so low that Donghyuk didn’t even hear you over his own frustration. Glancing at him, you couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his angry typing, if he kept touching his phone screen that hard the phone would end up breaking for sure.
“He’s not picking up or answering to my texts” He told you, sighing defeated, pinching the bridge of his nose “He’s so dead when I get home”
“Yuna’s not going to pick up either, don’t bother to try” You informed him, standing there as more people walked inside, willing to have the fun you had wanted to have until you found out who was supposed to be your companion for the night.
“And what are we supposed to do now?” He asked reaching down into his pocket and fishing out what seemed to be two tickets for a movie “I already bought the tickets” 
His words brought a frown to your face “What if I didn’t like the movie you chose?” You asked pouting at him. You had been dying to check out the new comedy romance that came out not too long ago in which your favorite actor, Cha Eunwoo, starred as the main male character. Donghyuk didn’t even think about choosing that one for sure.
“Yes, thank you Donghyuk for buying the tickets, I could have paid for mine” He said in a high pitched voice, trying to imitate yours “I didn’t know you were the one I was being set up with, I would have made you pay for everything if I had-” Not letting him finish his sentence, you used your purse to hit Donghyuk’s side as hard as you could. “Ow! What was that for?” Donghyuk complained, watching you stealing one of the tickets from his hand as you walked inside the cinema without saying something else, not even waiting for him “(Y/N)! Hey! Hey!”
The people around you probably thought you were having a lovers quarrel….
If the only knew.
----------
Plopping down onto your designated seat, you leaned back against it letting out a soft sigh, keeping your eyes glued to the huge white screen situated in front of you while Donghyuk occupied the seat besides yours.
“If someone we know sees us together, you’re dead” He grumbled, tapping his foot against the floor at a speed that surely wasn’t human “I can’t believe we’re doing this” Donghyuk whispered, shaking his head, looking disappointed in himself.
“You already bought the tickets” You answered shrugging “You would have wasted your money if we had decided to not watch it”
“At least you got popcorn” He muttered without even glancing your way, automatically reaching out to put his hand into the popcorn you just bought.
But before he succeeded in stealing some, you managed to move it away earning another glare for him, if looks could kill, you would have been buried already “I bought this” Despite your words and your strong feelings against him eating the popcorn you bought, you quickly regretted saying it when you remembered he had bought the tickets before you could even think about paying for yours. Besides, he looked as if he could kill you right now and you weren’t going to take the risk of eating something he wanted while sitting in a dark room for two hours more or less.
“Thank you” He said quietly, turning his glare into a fake sweet smile, shoving a bunch of your sweet and delicious popcorn into his mouth and absolutely ignoring the glare and pout on your face as you looked at him.
“What movie are we watching?” You asked him, keeping your eyes on the screen as you also started eating, at this point, there would be no popcorn left when the movie started.
“I told Jaemin to get me the tickets for that Eunwoo’s movie, I know all girls are crazy about him and knew my date would have enjoyed watching it” He explained shrugging, surprising you, he had definitely put more effort than you had expected him to for this date.
After that, Donghyuk and you stayed quiet. The snacks the two of you bought were enough of a distraction to not feel awkward with the silence that had settled down between the two of you while you waited for the lights to turn down. There was no conversation when the popcorns were almost over either so you busied yourself with the trailers that were being played, getting hyped at some movies, thinking you would definitely have to come with Yuna to see them if you didn’t murder her tonight. 
A few minutes later the movie started playing and you had to admit you were kind of excited about it. Even if it hurt your ego to admit it, Donghyuk had been kind of sweet, choosing a movie that would surely bore him out instead of picking a horror or an action one that would have put you to sleep in seconds. He had known a romance movie was a safe choice for a date and you silently gave him credit for that, whoever ended up going on a date with him after tonight’s disaster was surely kind of lucky. 
Although things started getting kind of weird and alarms started ringing in your head when you were almost thirty minutes into the movie and Cha Eunwoo, who was supposed to be one of the main characters, hadn’t appeared yet. The starting had thrown you off a little, there was no high school and no girls falling in love with Eunwoo and you definitely accepted the two of you were sitting in the wrong movie when the guy that showed up seemed to be running away from something supernatural that ended up killing him.
Damn, you would have been in tears if that had been Eunwoo. 
“Uh…” You didn’t know if you should point it out but one glance at Donghyuk told you he seemed to be as uneasy as you were about this entire thing “I think we walked into the wrong room” You whispered, avoiding to lean closer to him. However, when he didn’t even glance your way, you assumed he was either deaf, ignoring you or too into the movie to realize you were talking to him. Moving as quietly as you could, in order to not disturb anyone around you, you leaned in closer to Donghyuk’s ear, making sure he would hear you this time “Donghyuk” You called him out again.
He didn’t shout but his body moved faster than you could react and in a second, all the popcorn that had been left in the container placed between the two of you rained down on your heads. Donghyuk had flinched too hard and his arms had automatically reached up in the air, making the container fly and spilling its content on the two of you just right when one of the ghosts that were apparently haunting his home scared the main character.
“What the fuck (Y/N)?” He asked, serious as ever as he turned his head to look into your eyes. You could feel tears gathering in your eyes as you bit your lip as hard as you could, avoiding to start laughing your lungs out at what you had just seen. You should have recorded it, Donghyuk scared was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen in your life “Are you trying to murder me or something because I ate your popcorn?” 
“Maybe” You only said, afraid that if you spoke for longer you would inevitably started laughing and get your ass kicked out of the room.
“Well you almost accomplished your mission” He said letting out a soft sigh, placing his hand on his chest as his heart kept pounding incredibly hard “Jesus, hanging out with you is not being good for my health at all” He whispered, shaking his head, looking down at his knees. 
“Didn’t you get the tickets for that romance movie though?” You finally decided to ask, still close to him to keep your voice as quiet as you could, Donghyuk’s eyes were already back on the screen, his hand eating the popcorn that had fallen on him “I don’t see any romance going on here” 
When he turned around to face you, his face was in a mix of still offended by his previous yet faint heart attack and a silent ‘are you dumb?’ question “Well the guys wanted to organized this entire thing, I trusted them and right after I saw who Mark had paired me up with I knew Jaemin hadn’t bought the tickets for the movie I wanted either”
“So you’re telling me I have to seat here and-”
“SHHH” Someone from the seats above yours interrupted your sentence, probably fed up with your chatting. 
Donghyuk looked over his shoulder and just when you thought he was about to defend you he opened his mouth and surprised you -not for the best- once again “I know right, she’s annoying” You couldn’t hold yourself back though and slapped his arm, ignoring the way he frowned and glared at you while you accommodated yourself back on your seat. 
“Idiot” You whispered, rolling your eyes, letting him devour the popcorn YOU bought for YOURSELF, deciding to just focus on the movie and on planning how you were going to get rid of Yuna’s corpse once you killed her.
When your eyes returned to the screen, the main character was currently going downstairs, lights turned off and a flashlight in his hand. You rolled your eyes at the cliche situation and again mentally thought why always people in horror movies thought it was a good idea to check a weird noise without carrying something that could help you defend yourself. In fact, if it was you in that movie, you would have locked yourself in your bedroom and yeeted yourself out of the window. 
No murderer or ghost was going to end your life. Not if you were managing to get through this horrible date.
---------
“Can we grab some food?” You asked as soon as the two of you were out of the movie  room, ignoring the way the rest of the couples glanced your way and chuckled, obviously amused by how the two of you had behaved during the entire movie. Donghyuk would never admit it but he had been as scared as you, miraculously none of you had shitted your pants.
“No” Donghyuk quickly rejected, not even daring to look at you “Let me just take you home and end this horrible date, please?” 
“But I’m hungry” You pouted behind him, using your whiny voice to get on his nerves even more
Donghyuk stopped walking suddenly, making you walk straight into his back once again. This time though you managed to get a quick whiff of the cologne he had chosen to wear tonight, to say he smelled nice would be a total misunderstandment. If it wasn’t for his shitty attitude towards you, you would have to admit that he could have totally stolen your heart away with his looks and that killer smile he always carried around when he was joking with his friends. Unfortunately, his dislike towards you was enough to let you know the two of you would never end up having a relationship like that, you would have to settle with him standing you throughout the rest of the night.
He was quick to turn around though, placing his hands on your shoulders to stabilize you in case you lost your balance “You’re not going to stop whining until we get something to eat, right?” He asked, eyes looking straight into yours.
“Exactly” You replied with an innocent smile on your face before you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to look as intimidating as he did.
Although, in Donghyuk’s eyes, you only looked even cuter.
Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair before he turned around again to start heading to the parking lot “Alright, we’ll get some food before going home then” 
“You’re the b-”
“But you’re paying” He quickly interrupted, walking away even faster before you could start complaining about this newfound information.
---------------------------
”If you drop ketchup on my leather seats, you’re walking all the way back home” 
Donghyuk warned as he stopped the car in a deserted place, leaning back against his seat comfortably once he had turned off the ignition. You hummed quietly, letting him know you heard his threat while you also started taking his order out of the paper bag carefully, trying not to drop any food in his precious car. You were kind of far from home and knew he wouldn’t hesitate to make you walk all the way back.
“I won’t, I won’t” You replied with a small smile, breaking the paper bag to put it down on your lap in case some of the sauce of your hamburger dripped down and stained something while you ate it.
Just like it had happened in the cinema, a new silence settled down between the two of you now that you were too focused on eating your food, it wasn’t uncomfortable though, you just preferred eating in silence rather than arguing constantly. While you ate dinner, you noticed a few other cars had parked around his, keeping enough distance to not be able to see who the people inside the vehicle were but still making you frown with curiosity. It wasn’t until you took another look around the place that you finally recognized where Donghyuk had parked.
“Isn’t this the place where people come to make out?” 
Donghyuk choked on the fries he was eating. 
You hadn’t really done it intentionally, you didn’t even know he was eating when the question had suddenly flew out of your mouth. He kept coughing as you reached out to pat his back with one of your hands, holding your drink with the other to not drop it in the car and make the situation even worse than it already was.
“What kind of question is that (Y/N)? What the fuck?” He asked, voice hoarse as he cleared his throat, still feeling the food stuck in a place it shouldn’t be.
“Are you planning to make out with me?” You asked jokingly, wiggling your eyebrows at him. Maybe it was the lack of light but you thought you had seen a hint of a smile in Donghyuk’s face when you said that, however he was quick to turn his face away and look out of the window, avoiding any kind of eye contact.
“You’re nuts” He muttered, successfully hiding the amusement in his voice, doing it so well that it actually made a frown appear on your face.
You had been thinking about this for the entire night and even though you had tried to play his comments off as jokes, his dislike and rejection towards you was starting to be a little bothering. You hadn’t felt that bad during the date, you haven’t even felt as awkward as you usually did so the time you spent with him hadn’t been that bad. Did he dislike you so much that he couldn’t even bear the thought of making those kinds of jokes with you?
“What? Am I that ugly?” You were supposed to sound amused, your words had been a simple joke in response to what he had said but Donghyuk couldn’t ignore the soft sourness in them, the way you scoffed just told him he had said enough for tonight. “I guess I crossed a line there” You muttered with a sigh
“What are you talking about now?” He asked, turning around again to face you, this time with a frown on his face, a sincere one.
“I mean, I know you didn’t expect to go on a date with me and that our friends were only trying to prank us but you could at least try to hide your discontent a little bit” You confessed, eyes glued to the front glass even though you could feel him staring at you from the driver’s seat “Like I tried my best to be nice and all you did was shove me away, this didn’t need to be a date, we could have just tried to hang out as friends” 
Donghyuk knew he had fucked up big time as he listened to your rambling and his attitude had ended up hurting your feelings when he never had any intentions of doing that. He actually couldn’t help but feel bad because of it, staying quiet for a few minutes before he finally decided to say something.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was being that big of a jerk” He said quietly, looking down at his lap before he took the fries he hadn’t eaten yet “Want to eat my fries?” 
You didn’t know if he was either joking or being genuinely serious and honestly, you also didn’t know which was worse “I just want to know why you hate me so much” You scoffed tired of beating around the bush, ready to face the explanation you were finally craving for.
“You’re kidding me, right?” He huffed, suddenly looking offended “Like this has to be the ultimate prank of the night” Donghyuk actually turned around on his seat so he could face you with most of his body, eyes dead serious as if he was planning to stare straight into your soul “Why would you think I hate you (Y/N)?”
You blinked confused “Uhm...Do you want me to narrate with detail all the reasons you gave me tonight or….?”
“I don’t hate you” He said sighing, true that he might have been an absolute jerk but he had his reasons “I mean how did you expect me to behave right after you rejected me?” 
“What?” 
“Especially after how you did it” He kept rambling “I mean, maybe I expected a ‘I'm sorry you’re not my type?’ But not for you to throw the letter away without even giving it a second glance” 
“A letter?” You asked, your brain searching for any memories that would resemble something similar to what he was talking about. It only took you a few seconds before you remembered something, it had happened at the beginning of the year and you hadn't paid too much attention to it. During one of your classes, when you opened one of your books during a class, you had found a note but what was written in it had made you assume it was a joke. “Wait, are you talking about the note that said...I like your smile, I like your ass, you should date me, I’m a guy with class….Go out with me, you won’t forget, I’ll buy you food and spoil you to no end?” When Donghyuk stayed in silence as you recited the poem you had found, you guessed he must have been the author behind it. “i thought it was a joke Donghyuk”
“Well, the guys helped me write it and….” Now that he had listened to it from another’s person mouth the poem didn’t sound as good as his friends had made it sound “I-”
“I didn’t even know it was you” You said exasperated “Like Haechan? I’ve never heard somebody call you like that?” 
“My friends do?” 
“And I should know that because…..?”
Donghyuk had to admit his strategy to ask you out had completely sucked and he could now understood why you thought he had hated you, you didn’t even know you had rejected him in the first place “I’m not listening to the guys again” He muttered under a whisper “Not in my life” He added with a deep sigh
“Yeah, I think you should avoid doing that” You replied with a small smile, watching him drown in embarrassment as he leaned his head back against the seat to stare at the car’s ceiling “So all this time you just thought I rejected you?”
“Well, what was I supposed to think?” He asked hiding his face behind both of his hands, making sure you wouldn’t see the soft blush that was creeping up his neck, you couldn’t help but chuckle at that
“You guys are such huge idiots” You finally said, deciding to break the tension in between the two of you as you started laughing, really amused by the entire situation.
Donghyuk peeked at you through his fingers, feeling even more embarrassed but also kind of relief now that you didn’t seem to be as upset as you were before. He was still shy and felt like a complete idiot for everything but your happiness was just as contagious as ever and he found himself smiling behind his hands, shaking his head in embarrassment. 
“Please let me take you out on another date? I promise it will be way better, at least just to make up for this horrible hang out?” He asked mortified, groaning as he hit the back of his head against his seat again.
“You’re kidding me, right?” You asked back, repeating the same words he had used a few minutes ago.
“Was it that bad? Did you really hate it?” He removed his hands from his face to look at your face, he really did seem like he was regretting everything he had said tonight “I promise I won’t let the guys plan it again” 
“I’m kidding, I’ll go on another date with you” You said chuckling, watching him visibly relax “But next time…”
“Mhm?” 
“You’re paying for the food” Donghyuk allowed himself to finally smile at your words, shaking his head as he chuckled. He nodded at your condition, going back to eating his fries.
“And we’ll make out in here” His so unexpected words made you choke on the drink you had been sipping and the fact that you tried your hardest to not spit it out your mouth only made it worse because it ended up coming out of your nose and unfortunately, staining his leather seats. 
“(Y/N) WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU!?” He shouted alarmed, throwing napkins your way, making some of them land on your face.
“IF YOU HADN’T SAID ANYTHING I WOULDN’T HAVE SPILLED THAT THROUGH MY NOSE” You shouted back, breaking the calm and relaxed atmosphere of the place, unknowingly interrupting multiple make out sessions.
If someone would have told the couples around you that the two of you were on your first date, they would have surely replied ‘You’re kidding me, right? Those two hate each other’ but in fact, time would tell that the joke was actually on them and nothing, not even Donghyuk’s leather seats getting food stains, would tear the two of you apart.
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peachsayshi · 3 years ago
Text
Chapter 10 - Intimate (2)
Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff 
Summary: Gojo uses you to relieve some of his stress after his little argument with your best friend, and poses a question that catches you off guard.
A/N: this chapter was a bit difficult for me to write and I think it's because it turned out to be sort of a filler chapter! Also, please excuse any errors - I am definitely posting this half asleep lol! but I am really excited to share the upcoming ones! I initially said that this was going to be 25 chapters but I outlined the rest of the story and there will be more! Hehe I do plan on doing the few extra one-shots in the end, so I hope you enjoy.
- - - 
“Tell me you’re mine…”  
You blushed at the thought of Satoru’s words, painfully aware of the knot that tightened in the pit of your stomach which then tugged at your lungs, slowing your breath. You reached for the seasoning packets, ripping open the colored wrappers to prepare the ramen broth. You watched as tiny circles began to form from the bottom of the metal pot, bubbling it’s way to the surface. You could hear the shower still running from your bathroom, a bit relieved that Gojo was taking his time because you wanted to bask in the few precious minutes you had to yourself to try and quieten your racing thoughts.
You couldn’t focus on the task of preparing dinner because the word “mine” slipping from Gojo’s lips in a feverish claim was playing on a loop in your head. The way his tone darkened with urgency when he held his body close to yours sent goosebumps to run up your arms. You couldn’t figure out where the possessive streak came from or why he felt the need to assert his dominance over an act that should not have been as intimate as it felt. You folded your arms over your chest, subconsciously pinching your skin as you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.
There was a difference when you made your own personal comparisons in the safety of your mind versus Gojo bringing it up in the bedroom. Somehow admitting your confession to him made you feel vulnerable and his reaction didn’t make it any  better, appearing to be competitive about the entire situation.
That doesn’t make any sense, why would he care? you wondered.
You never actually paid attention to how Gojo felt about your ex-boyfriend. For the most part he’s always been nice to him. Although the two of them weren’t the closest of friends, they seemed to get along whenever you all hung out together. You never would have anticipated that Gojo would be…
Jealous of him ?
That he would resent him?
Honestly, you didn’t even have an explanation for what it could possibly mean.
“ Pay attention…”
Gojo’s voice startled you, you didn’t even realise he was standing right behind you until you noticed him reach his arm forward to reduce the flame, stopping the water from bubbling over the pot.
“Whoops! Lost my train of thought for a second...” you lied, refusing to look in his direction in the hopes that he wouldn’t catch you blushing.
“That’s a safety hazard, you know?” he teased, still standing dangerously close behind you as he reached for the dry noodles himself and placed them into the pot. “You need sharp eyes when cooking otherwise you’ll end up having an unnecessary accident.”
A nervous chuckle escaped you as you circled to face him. Gojo had borrowed one of your black silk scarves, using it as a makeshift blindfold since his own was now tumbled between your bedsheets on the floor. You could smell your coconut and hibiscus body wash off him, the scent combining with the residual cologne on his clothes. An easy smile spread across that handsome face, his relaxed demeanor contrasting the state he was in when he first knocked on your door.
He’s your friend, you reminded yourself. What happens in the bedroom doesn’t mean anything…  
It shouldn’t mean anything.  
“Whatever you say, sensei ...” you chirped, burying your wayward thoughts. “Why don’t you grab those mats and I’ll bring these over to the table”
You assembled the two bowls, adding a little extra broth for Gojo because you knew he preferred it that way. Meanwhile, he had placed the two mats on the opposite side of the dining table, taking care not to disturb your work set up.
“Here you go,” you said, as you slid the bowl in front of him while he took his seat.
“Thank you!”
At first you both sat in silence, Gojo was responding to a few unanswered text messages but you were studying him with curious eyes, waiting for him to give you an explanation for his sudden visit.
“ Sooo, you want to tell me what that was all about?” you asked.
“That being?”
You waved your chopsticks in the direction of your bedroom, raising your brow before replying, “That being the sequence of events that just transpired…”
“ Stress relief ...” Gojo explained in between bites as he casually tucked his phone back into his pocket.
You thrummed your fingers against the warm bowl in your hands, fidgeting with the chopsticks in the other.  “Well, I’m glad I could help you unwind, I guess...”
He flashed you a wicked grin, “Me too, because I need a repeat of the show...”
“I can’t look at you when you say that,” you remarked, focusing your attention onto the noodles and growing shy at his comment.
“Am I embarrassing you?”
“A little…”
“I don’t understand why, that was fucking hot ...”
Your face burned, the heat radiating all the way to the back of your neck from his words. You cleared your throat as you rolled your eyes at him, desperately trying to brush off his statement in a cool manner. You could feel the knot in your stomach, the thoughts you were having crept back into your mind as you tried to hush them away.
You decided to shift the conversation away from the bedroom and back to Gojo instead. If he wasn’t so flustered by his own emotions, you might have accepted his excuse of needing to relieve stress but you knew there was more to the story.
“Did something happen at work?” you questioned.
Gojo chuckled to himself, “It’s funny how you won’t even acknowledge my compliment... ”
“Are you really going to make me pry a proper answer out of you?” you huffed, and he could hear your annoyance in your tone.
Gojo wished that he didn’t have to get into this particular part of the conversation with you, knowing full well how it was going to bring down the mood.
“No, nothing happened at work,” he said with a sigh, “I was with Rina. She asked me to stop by her shop…”
You knitted your brows in confusion, “That’s kind of random.”
Gojo nodded his head, “I thought so too. She initially told me that she wanted to get my opinion on some new items she was dropping for her menu. Turns out I was only there because she wanted to know how long you and I have been sleeping together for…”
You choked at his statement, his nonchalant words nearly going over your head.
Gojo kept eating, unphased by your reaction. “Need some water?”
“Y-yes…no, ugh, nevermind …she asked you how …”
“ How long you and I have been fucking… ” Gojo replied, flicking his index finger back between you both to fully clarify his statement.
The knot in your stomach cinched, a wave of nausea swirling in your gut as you placed your chopsticks down.
“How... how did she even find out? ” you whispered to yourself as you slumped against the back of your chair.
“She saw us at the park.”
“ Oh .”
You and Rina have both had your fair share of arguments before but sometimes when her emotions got the better of her, Rina’s outbursts often came with her sharp tongue. Over the years you had to explain to her that her words carried more weight than she thought, and in turn she became more conscious around you. However it suddenly dawned on you that Gojo might have been on the receiving end of Rina’s unfiltered anger.
You covered your face with your hands, groaning with frustration. “What did she say?”
“ Hmm ?”
“What did Rina say to you?”
Gojo shrugged his shoulders, “don’t worry about what she said to me. I know she didn’t mean anything by it...”
“But you were upset when you got here…”
“Let’s clarify something, Rina was upset because she was hurt. I was just annoyed by the situation. There’s a difference...”
You wished he would take your conversation a little more seriously and not brush it off with such ease but sighed knowing full well that Gojo wasn’t going to tell you what exactly happened which meant that Rina must have said something deliberately hurtful towards him.
“ I’m sorry… ”
“Why are you apologizing?”
You picked up your utensils, “For dragging you into this unnecessary drama I started. I should have just told Rina what was going on between us…”
Gojo paused after slurping a noodle, “well, why didn’t you tell her?”
“She’s been overprotective recently… ” you explained, not wanting to get into the details that the reason was purely based on your break up and how terrible you have been about getting over it. “I knew that if I told her about our arrangement she would analyze me to death over it and I didn’t want to deal with that…”
“Fair point,” Gojo acknowledged with a hum.
His short responses unsettled you, and you found yourself overcompensating to make up for it. “I’ll talk to her and smooth things over and I’ll make sure she apologizes for whatever it is that she said to you. She shouldn’t take her frustration out on you just because she was upset with me...”
Gojo nodded his head but you could clearly sense that he was not in the mood for any serious conversations right now. Taking himself out of this particular topic, Gojo quickly changed the subject after you made your last statement.
He kept the rest of the chat lighthearted, distracting your worries by telling you little anecdotes he had about his co-worker, Nanami. You suddenly found yourself giggling when Gojo revealed that he practically stalked Nanami for an entire day just so he could force the man to hang out him.
“I feel bad for the poor guy, you completely terrorize him,” you stated, clearing the table once you were both done eating.
You made your way over back to your kitchen where you rinsed off the bowls before placing it in the dishwasher. “You’re free to hang out if you want,” you offered, noticing Gojo get himself together as he was preparing to leave.
“I think I distracted you enough for tonight,” he replied.
You walked him to the door, following in line with his long strides. Just as he was about to reach the handle of your front door, he stopped before turning to face you.
“You don’t owe anyone an explanation about what is going on between us,” he stated, his voice low and serious.
You blinked a couple of times in surprise before parting your lips to respond, “I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but I know what Rina’s feeling and the only way I can see myself fixing this problem is by telling her everything. We never keep secrets from each other and I would probably be equally as hurt if she chose to hide something from me too... ”
Gojo pressed his lips together, navigating the words floating in his mind before reaching his hand out to touch your fingers.
“I get it but I just…”
“ Just ?...”
He exhaled, “I don’t want you overthinking anything between us, okay?”
“Don’t worry, even though we are terrible at sticking to our own rules, I am fully aware of where we both stand…”
You notice the relief wash over Gojo’s face as he slips his fingers away from your touch, “Good, because I like what we are doing.”
“I-I like it too…” you replied almost instantly, your heart racing at your own admittance.
The sorcerer left you a bundle of nerves when he said his goodbye. The knot in your stomach made its presence known, twining itself around your insides as you couldn’t escape this foreign emotion that seemed to have infiltrated your body.
*** 
CHAPTER 11 - FRIENDS
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supercorpkid · 4 years ago
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Red Kryptonite causes drama and trauma – The series.
Part 3 – The old you can’t come to the phone right now.
Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader
Word count: 1933.
Warning: More angst. Like, a lot. But it’s getting better, people.
Previously on the series - part 1, part 2
You open your eyes after you finally sleep a little. The sun is burning your face and you curse yourself for not putting any sunscreen, because Lena is always right and you do burn.
“Hey.” You hear a voice and you startle getting up in one move. You look at Kara sitting a few feet away from you. “Can we talk?”
“No.” You walk further away from her.
“Little one, please. I know I hurt you…” She stands up and you turn to her abruptly.
“Hurt me? You think I’m hurt?” You look at your body, all of your bruises are almost gone by now. “You punched me, and kicked me. You left me suffocating on the ground begging for your help. You didn’t give me your hand.”
“I’m so-“ Her eyes are full of tears, and she doesn’t hold them back.
“Sorry? Yeah. I was sorry too. Don’t you remember?” You interrupt her. You’re angry. You know it wasn’t really her, it wasn’t this scared person in front of you. But you can’t just forgive her like that.
“It wasn’t me. Baby, you have to understand, I had no control over what I was doing.” She shakes her head like she is trying to get rid of the images. “It was horrible.”
“I know, I was there.” You swallow hard. “And I remember you called me weak and soft. You told me I’ll never be Supergirl.”
“Kid, please.” It hits differently. Kid instead of child. You should’ve known from this word alone. “I remember everything I said, and trust me If I could take it back…”
“Why would you take it back? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” You shrug. “I’m half human. I was born on Earth. I’ll never be you.”
“Yes, but you don’t have to be me. You are so smart, so amazing, you can be anything you want.” Kara’s tears keep falling. She looks so broken. “You can be so much more than Supergirl.”
“Right now, I want to be someone who doesn’t get dragged into the mess every single time.” You take off the super watch and throw it at her feet.
“What are you doing? Kid, please.” She kneels to grab the watch.
“I can take punches now.”
“That’s not what the watch is for. Please. Please, just put it on. What if there’s an emergency? What if you get shot again?” She is still on her knees and she reaches out to you with the watch in her hands. You don’t take it.
“I didn’t call you back then. I sure as hell won’t call you now.” That hurt her more than you thought it would. You can see it on her face. You fly away just like she did. You leave her behind with the most hurtful sentence you could think of, and you hope she falls on the ground and stays there unable to move just like you did.
You fly away, and you keep flying. You don’t stop when you pass National City’s limits. You don’t stop when you pass your gramm’s house in Midvale. You, certainly, don’t stop when you pass the Fortress of Solitude. You only stop once you can’t see any familiar place, and you just sit on top of a mountain alone.
Truth is, you didn’t take the watch off because you thought you wouldn’t need it. You took it off because you know there is a way for her to know your exact location with it, and you want to stay away. You know you can’t hide forever, and you don’t want Lena to worry about you anyway, but you need time alone. You need to think, breath, recover. You can’t do that with Kara breathing down your neck.
You’re hurt, more than you’ve ever been your whole life. The kryptonite gun shot? That was nothing. Lena being attacked, and you having a full-on panic attack and destroying her office? Bad, but not this bad. This is worse because everything Kara said was true.
You were supposed to be better at fighting. Why are you so bad? Why don’t you have control over your powers like she does? Is it because you are half human? Is there something wrong with your DNA? Or are you really just weak? Did Kara and Lena’s unconditional support make you soft and weak?
You have a huge brain. Anything you try is a success. Robotics? Piece of cake. Physics? So easy is actually boring. Shouldn’t you be at college? Lena went to college pretty young. You’re not there yet, why? Is it because you are not smart enough or because you’re soft and weak?
Do they really want you to be just 15 or do they feel like they can’t ask you to be more than that because you can’t take it? And, by the way, can you take it?
You’re again filled with so much anger and pain you just want to break something. Your body knows that, aches for that, and you have no control over what happens next.
You’re flying high over the top of the mountain, and then for some reason that your brain cannot fully process right now, your heat vision hits the top of the mountain breaking it off. Then, you’re flying full speed towards the center and you keep breaking rock after rock. Body and heat vision combined completely destroying an entire mountain from within. Fast, hard, painfully.
When you hit the ground, the anger has left your body entirely and you just stay there, surrounded by broken rocks, dirt and destruction.
You are not weak. Is the first thought you have when your brain comes back to work. A weak person cannot destroy an entire mountain. A weak person can’t get shot with Kryptonite and not ask for Supergirl’s help. A weak person can’t save her mom when Supergirl herself was nowhere to be found. You are not a weak person.
You are also not Supergirl. And for the first time in your life, you don’t want to be Supergirl and you don’t care about being a soft person with powers to destroy a freaking mountain. You will never be Supergirl, because you are already Superkid.
This brings you peace you never thought you would find. You’re ready to go back now. So, you fly back and before you realize, you’re home. You sit on the roof of your house and you barely have to use your super hearing to hear your moms talking inside the house.
“Lena, I don’t know what to do. I flew everywhere. She’s not at Alex’s, she’s not in Midvale, she’s not at the Fortress. I-I don’t know where else to look. Can you find her?” You hear Kara’s voice and you look at your phone. 36 missed calls, and 53 texts from them.
“What? Do you think I’ve figured out a way to put a microchip in our daughter even though her skin is impenetrable?” You hear Lena’s voice this time.
“Well, have you?”
“I…” Your breath stops midway. Has she? “Do you remember if she was wearing the necklace?”
“Yeah, she never takes it off.” You hear Kara’s voice again.
You hold your necklace strong in your hand. This is the necklace your grandmother Alura gave Kara before she was sent to Earth. Kara gave it to you when you turned 13, the same age she was when she got it. You haven’t taken it off ever since. And you can’t believe Lena would do something to it.
“Then I can track her.” Lena answers and you close your eyes and let your head fall. You could take the necklace off, throw it in the middle of the ocean, and fly away again. But you’re tired. It’s time to let them come to you. You can’t run forever. “Oh. She’s not wearing it. It says it’s right here.”
“No. I’m sure she was wearing it. She-she is here.” Doesn’t take long until Kara is flying in front of you. She must have used her x-ray vision. She is hovering in front of you and you notice her soft expression, that’s your Kara. “You scared me so much, little one.”
“I guess that makes us even now.” You are not mad anymore, just sad. You know eventually this will go away; things will be normal again. Kara shakes her head agreeing.
“May I?” She points to the place next to you and you nod. She flies to you and sits by your side. “I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” You lay your head on your knees and hug your legs close to your body. “Why are there so many kryptonites? I don’t get it. The green one that makes us weak is like, ok, I kind of get why it exists. But then there’s a red one? And the black one that makes an evil version of yourself. And the silver one that makes whatever. I don’t know why Krypton had so many evil rocks.”
“Yeah. And don’t forget about the pink one.” She looks at you and you furrow your brows confused. You’ve never heard about a pink one. “It makes you gay.”
“It makes you whAT?”
“Gay. Totally gay.” She says trying to remain serious. She doesn’t know if you are at a laughing point yet.
“Oh. So, like, were you exposed to it or…?” You ask with a little smile on your lips and she smiles too. “’Cause you are totally gay.”
“Yeah well, I wasn’t infected with it. I was infected with Lenanite.” She says and you burst into laughter.
“Oh Rao, that was so bad. Please never say that again!” You two are laughing together and it feels right. It feels like it always did. “Oh man, mom will kill you if she hears you joined her name with kryptonite.”
“Oh, please don’t tell her. She already tried to kill me twice today.” She is still laughing, but that makes you stop. She notices it. “Not that I didn’t deserve it.”
“Let’s go inside. She’s probably worried.” You fly back home and Lena opens her arms when she sees you. You snuggle inside her embrace and just stay there for a while. “Sorry I got you worried.”
“I’m just glad you’re home, babygirl.” She kisses your forehead and holds your face with both hands looking right into your eyes. “You are the most important thing in my life.”
Kara lands behind you and you take a deep breath. Is time to put this whole thing behind you. You can do it, because you are not weak. Being soft and caring for everyone in your life is not a weakness. Being able to forgive is not weakness. You are stronger than they think. You are stronger than you think.
“C’mere momma.” You ask, turning your head to look at Kara. She looks confused, but she takes small steps towards you. You free one hand and pull her into the hug. The three of you are stiff and awkward, but no one moves away.
“Why are you all covered in dirt?” Lena asks after a while and you laugh slowly and let go of them.
“Yeah, um, about that…” You scratch your head smiling. “If anyone asks who destroyed an entire mountain up North, just say you know nothing about that.”
“What?” Lena furrows her brows and Kara’s mouth drop.
“Ok! Good talk! I’m going to go take a shower.” You leave them behind and smile to yourself. That will prove them you’re not soft and weak.
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janetbrown711 · 4 years ago
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“   it’s  okay ,   i’m  here .   i’ll  always  be  here .   ” Wakko yakko dot
Wakko wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. 
He was barely holding on as it was, always trying to keep on a happy face for his sibs, make them believe everything was okay. Dot was a lot easier to trick than Yakko, but even he could be swayed with very little effort. After all, it was very clear that their parents were never going to come back...
It had been almost a year. Wakko still missed them every day. He missed their protection... Yakko was trying, that was true, but even he could get distracted. Sometimes he’d be studying off in the library when Wakko needed food, so he’d have to figure it out on his own because God knows he couldn’t ask his grandmother for anything. Wakko figured it out for the most part, but it was easy to say he missed quite a few meals over the years because of fear of disturbing Her. 
Wakko knew she placed his room by hers for the specific purpose of making his life a living hell without his sibs. After all, she hated him. The only reason she’d want to be near is if she wanted to keep an eye out, or if she wanted to hurt him somehow. Well- she succeeded on that end anyway, though perhaps the better word was torture. 
Sure, sometimes Wakko could manage to sneak past if he crawled on his hands and knees and put socks on his feet and hands, but he was filled with anxiety that simply wouldn’t leave him the whole time. He was terrified of getting his sibs in danger- a trait he knew he shared with both of them. 
They were all putting on a happy face, he supposed. 
He couldn’t say it was all bad... he was getting better at reading. Dot read easy stuff which helped him boost his confidence, while Yakko read more difficult stuff to make sure he was actually learning, which- while Wakko kinda hated it- he couldn’t deny worked. He was getting better- he was actually learning things, which felt nice. 
Though they had had a few close calls here and there...
Wakko wasn’t sure what would happen if they got caught, but he was pretty sure they’d get into serious trouble. For whatever reason, Angelina really hated the fact Wakko was stupid but hated him trying to better himself even more. It was like she wanted a bug under her shoe to squish just for fun... the thought made Wakko shudder. 
So... the year had its good moments, but... a year had really taken it’s tole. The only major good part was that Angelina stopped wearing that stupid veil and pretended to be grieving. Now you knew what she was thinking and saying, which... well... good and bad. 
Good and bad. 
“What’s this word, Wakko?” Yakko asked, pointing to a particularly long one on the page in front of Wakko. He frowned at it. 
“I dunno,” he shrugged. 
“You’re a smart kid, sound it out,” Yakko said. Wakko winced a little and looked at the page. 
In truth, he sometimes debated with himself whether it was better to be stupid or to be smart. He wanted to know things, but at the same time knowledge seemed like a burden more than anything. At least- that’s what he got from observing Yakko. Yakko always had something on his mind, something big, while Wakko hardly ever thought about things other than food or some imaginary story he likes playing on repeat to keep himself busy while his sibs were gone. 
“in... for...ma...ti..own?” He looked at his elder brother. 
“Close. Information. Tion sounds like shun,” Yakko pointed out. 
“Right, that’s information,” he nodded. He knew the words, he was nine after all, but reading just make them look unfamiliar. 
Yakko was then going to make him read the full sentence again, but a familiar shout was heard right outside, and the boys froze as the door swung open. 
“Yakko- calm this child down,” Angelina shoved Dot, who was crying, towards Yakko, when her eyes feel upon them. 
“What on earth is going on here?” She glared at Wakko, and he felt his heart beat faster. 
“W-well I-i was just-” Yakko tried to think of what to say as Dot went to him, but Angelina yanked Dot back, before going to Yakko herself and slapping him across the face and he slammed into a bookshelf, books spilling out onto him.
“What did I tell you?! You are not to educate that bastard creature, lest you and him face serious consequences,” She fumed. 
“No!!! Don’t hurt him!!!” Dot continued to cry. Wakko growled and just about lept out of the chair, but Angelina grabbed him by the ears. 
“This is on you,” She spat, and began to drag Wakko out of the room. 
“No! It’s my fault! I forgot the dress type! Please! Punish me instead!” Dot insisted, stepping out in front of Angelina. 
“Oh Angelina,” The queen shook her head, placing a soft hand against Dot’s face. Dot froze.
“If you get in my way again I assure you his punishment will be increased ten fold.” She whispered harshly. 
“Now be a good girl Angelina, and run along now. You have much to study,” She smiled sweetly. 
“My name is Dot,” She muttered to herself, bearing her teeth.
“Dot, no,” Wakko pleaded with her. Angelina tightened her pull on his ears. 
“It’d be wise for you to listen to him for once,” She smiled more. Dot growled again, but stepped backward, and looked back at Wakko. 
“Angelina. Move,” She ordered. Dot looked at the arm holding Wakko, a very obvious thought popping into her head. Angelina growled. 
“I expected more from you,” She said, before kicking Dot to the ground and moving on, giving Wakko’s ears a massive tug before continuing on. 
Wakko heard Dot get up from behind, trying to keep her distance, but her tears made her noticeable. 
Quickly and painfully, they turned around halls and owners of the castle, before Wakko realized she wasn’t going to be putting him in his room, and he was filled his dread and terror. 
“Wh-where are you taking him?!” Dot shouted at her, once she had the same thought. 
“That is none of your concern, Yakko.” She said coldly. “I’m teaching you three a lesson.”
“Let go of him!” Dot shouted again as Angelina started to go up the enormous stairwell. The queen ignored her, climbing higher and higher. 
“I said let him go!” Dot shouted, pulling on her dress like she had a year ago. Angelina froze, before turning around, dangling Wakko off of the stairs above the at least 20 foot drop below, only holding him by his neck.
“Shout at me again young lady, and I will,” She threatened. Dot gasped, covering her mouth. 
“Wait- please! Don’t hurt him-!” She begged, and Wakko did his best not to be terrified for his life but uh- 20 ft drop. 
“Go back downstairs, Angelina. You’ve done enough today,” She spat in her face. Dot wanted to protest, but the queen lifted Wakko higher and Dot backed down, lowering her head in shame as more tears streamed down. 
“Good girl,” The queen smiled, and patted her head, before turning around and continuing to drag Wakko up, Dot’s sobs echoing as they went all the way to the top. At this point, Wakko was pounding and kicking against her best he could, but she proved herself to have gotten wiser about that, as her long silk gloves prevented scratches or bites to her skin, and her pure gold bracelets also didn’t help. 
Eventually, she reached the top of the familiar tower, and she tossed him in like an animal. She closed and locked the heavy iron door and the sound made Wakko’s head hurt. 
“How long do you plan to leave me here, huh?!” He demanded, running to the door. However, to his horror, she left without a word to him. He listened closely to the door, still hearing Dot’s cries when he heard her yelp in pain. Wakko pounded on the door, but since it was no longer wood, all that ended up doing was hurting his hand. Wakko cringed in the pain, but knew there was nothing he could do. 
He was locked in here... for who knows how long. Could be days, weeks... months...
If she even bothered to keep him alive, which was something she was clearly starting to debate more and more as time passed. Wakko didn’t want to die-
At least... not yet. 
Perhaps it was foolish, but he did still have a shred of hope for his future, though it only got cloudier and cloudier as days passed. He tried to remember the advice and optimism of his dad, but that only brought up the painful feeling of him being gone. The same thing happened when he tried to imagine his mom comforting him too. 
After awhile of him just sitting on the cold and filthy floor in shock and pain, he heard pounding on the door. 
“Wakko? Wakko? Are you in there?” Yakko called from outside. 
“Y-yeah!” he replied, wiping his eyes. 
“We-we’re gonna get you out Wakko. I promise,” he declared. 
“Yakko, you can’t promise that,” Wakko frowned. 
“Yes I can Wakko. We’re going to get you out,” He asserted. 
“She’ll kill you- she’ll kill me if you try,” Wakko pleaded. 
“I know... but... w-we’ll escape. Run away to a far off town where no one will find you two. We’ll be safe,” Yakko said, becoming more and more desperate.
“You’ve said it yourself: a place like that doesn’t exist,” Wakko crossed his arms, leaning against the cold door.  He heard Yakko do the same. 
“We... we could...” Yakko tried to think. 
“Yakko... you should just forget about me. You and Dot would be fine without me, I hold you two down. I should just- stay up here and- and die,” Wakko pulled his knees to his chest. 
“Wakko!” he gasped. “Don’t say that!” he said, much softer. 
“Grandma will never care about me, a-and mum and d-daddoo are gone s-so... it would just be easier for me to stay here... away from you two... just like she wants,” He suppressed tears best he could, but choken on the lump in his throat. 
“Wakko, no.” Wakko heard him turn around to face the door again. 
“No matter what happens, we are not going to give up on you. I’m here- I’m always gonna be here, Wak,” He spoke softly. 
“Mum and Dad said they’d be here too...”
A painful silence hummed through the air. It hurt to even breathe after he spoke. Wakko gave in and cried. 
“Wak... I-i... I don’t know what to say...” Yakko said. 
“Just go away- before you get locked away too,” He sobbed. 
Yakko didn’t respond, staying there for a long, long time. 
Wakko didn’t say anything either. 
“We will rescue you Wak... I promise,” Yakko repeated, before standing up and going. 
Wakko stayed on the floor the rest of the day. 
.o0o.
Angelina hadn’t been sending servants to give him food, only water. 
Wakko had been up there for three days and it was easily the most miserable he had ever been in his life. 
He knew his mother had been sent up there at least once. He could see her carvings in the wall, and scratches on the floor, which he traced over his finger and slowly read. 
“Yakko? Slacky? Wacky?” and “Harold the 9th” were written beside the bed. There was a tally for what he assumed were days next to the broken mirror. Other random words he couldn’t quite read were sprawled all around. 
Yakko came up to talk every now and then, but he never could stay long. Wakko kept meaning to ask him for food, but he knew Angelina was strict on eating hours, so it was unlikely he could sneak into the kitchen to grab anything anymore. It just... wasn’t that simple any more. 
He also promised he was thinking of an escape. Wakko thanked him for the effort, but his hope wasn’t high.
Dot came at one point too. She cried and apologized and explained how it was her fault their grandmother got mad, saying how she hadn’t read the page she was supposed to the night before and didn’t know the types of dresses and she got mad, which made her cry, which made her take her to Yakko, which caused everything else. Wakko told her not to blame herself, but he knew that wasn’t going to resinate. Just another way their grandmother tightened her grip around them. 
But for the most part, he was alone. Utterly and perfectly alone...
He had his little imaginary games in his mind, but even those ran out eventually, mostly due to the cold. Stupid early winters...
One particularly cold night, Wakko said “screw it” and went to the window an looked out at the stars. 
They shined a lot better all the way up here, at least that was nice...
As he looked up, a chill ran through him and he was reminded of just how hungry he was. He cringed in the pain, and looked up at the stars, having run out of tears days ago. 
“I... I wish mum and dad were still here... If they were alive everything would go back to being okay...” he whispered weakly to the brightest star he could see. The stars twinkled back. 
Wakko sighed, lowering his head, continuing to look when he noticed that the star appeared to be growing larger- that wasn’t normal, right? And if it’s not, was it actually happening, or was he just seeing things because he was hungry?
It also appeared to be growing closer- that wasn’t good. Too close and it’d probably destroy the whole castle. Wakko scrambled back from the window and pounded on the door for help, but nobody heard or came. Wakko braced himself as the light got brighter and brighter and eventually filled the dark tower. 
However, nothing crashed or burned or turned him into goop, so Wakko slowly turned around and opened his eyes, and he saw a glowing figure in a really poor looking rope, cheap wand, and wings. 
Well- that was interesting. 
“Uh- who are you?” Wakko asked, really uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger popping into his prison out of nowhere. 
“I’m your desire fulfillment facilitator, Pip,” the desire fulfillment facilitator said dryly. Wakko blinked. 
“Uh- hi, Pip,” he said. 
“Congradulations Wakko, you did it. Out of all of the stars in the night sky, you made your wish up the wishing star,” He said, so monotone Wakko wanted to tears his ears off despite the fact that he was saying good news. 
“The Wishing Star? I’ve never heard of a Wishing Star,” He frowned. 
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you stories?” He asked. Wakko shook his head. 
“Hm... doesn’t matter. You did it anyway. It was your request for a wish that brought me here,” he said. 
“Wait- so- you can bring my parents back?” Wakko realized. He nodded, and Wakko almost passed out. 
“You’ve decided on your wish?” He asked. 
“I just said-”
“Right, right. Welp- here it goes,” Pip snapped his fingers, and ball of green light shot across the sky, and crashed far, far away- behind the mountains in the horizon. Wakko frowned. 
“Hey, what gives? It couldn’t be any closer than that?” He frowned. 
“Oh whoops, too late to fix now,” Pip scratched the back of his neck. Wakko gave him a look. “Looks like you have quite the trek ahead of you.”
“Yeah... I guess so,” Wakko couldn’t be sour for long, now entranced by the bright light. 
“And you better be going if you don’t want competition to build up,” Pip added. 
“What?! How am I supposed to reach it if I’m stuck in this tower! These rules are completely unfair,” Wakko crossed his arms. 
“Don’t worry Wakko, your siblings will be coming to get you soon, you’ll just have to tell them where to go,” Pip explained. 
“Huh?” He tilted his head when he heard footsteps not far away from the door. 
“I must go now- just remember this: the one who touches the fallen star first gets their wish. If you aren’t first, you don’t get it,” He said.
“What’s the point of me wishing on the star then, if it’s just up for grabs? that’s lame,” He crossed his arms. 
“Whoops- I gotta go, bye,” He waved and turned to star dust before disappearing completely, right before he heard a knock at the door. 
So much for that guys help. 
“Wakko?” It was Yakko. 
“Yakko? What’re you doing here?” Wakko asked. 
“We’ve come to break you out,” Dot chimed in, and a very, very, very long rope made of several sheets was pushed through his “meal slot”. 
Wakko didn’t know what to say. 
“Tie one end to the hook by the window and climb down- my advice is to not look down and pretend like it’s just training with Dad. Plus, me and Dot will be waiting for you at the bottom,” Yakko explained. 
“Wait- I have to tell you,” Wakko interrupted. 
“What?” Yakko asked, surprised Wakko wasn’t protesting. 
“I-i made a wish at a star tonight and well- apparently it was the wishing star so now we have to go- like... really actually go so I can make my wish and then everything will be okay and happy just like it used to be,” Wakko said. 
“The... wishing star? I thought that was just some kiddy bedtime story...” Yakko said, mostly to himself. 
“Well- apparently not,” Wakko said, taking one end and tying it to the hook like Yakko said. Yakko sighed. 
“We’ll talk about this once you’re down. Me and Dot are gonna wait at the bottom,” He said. 
“Okay... see you on the other side,” Wakko said, making the mistake at looking at how far away down was, but was surprised the rope actually went all the way down. 
That was a lot of sheets. 
“You got this Wakko!” Dot encouraged, before he heard the two of them go. 
Right. He had this. 
He may not have been very smart, but he was a good climber. He could do this...
At least, he hoped anyway. 
He promised right then and there that if he was going to make it out of this alive, he was definitely going to go to the Wishing Star- it couldn’t be more dangerous than climbing down a 50 foot rope made of tied sheets, 
...Could it?
.o0o. 
Lena despised being in recovery more than anything. She had been rendered practically immobile because of her broken leg, and her weakened muscles took months of physical therapy to rest and recover. 
Every day she thought of her children, and missed them dearly. She knew when all of their birthdays were and was overcome with grief as each passed. 
She was supposed to be there, with them. Celebrating, laughing, protecting.
Instead?
Now she was in William’s hometown, mooching off of their generosity because of her title, feeling utterly and totally useless. 
After months and months of healing and resting and physical therapy she was finally back to semi-functionality. Sure, she could now go for strolls at night with William (it was part of her physical therapy- stupid leg injuries), but she knew she still couldn’t actually do anything- she still couldn’t go back to the castle and put an end to her mother’s reign. They’d be caught- called imposters and possibly be killed. 
Lena couldn’t imagine making her children go through them dying twice. 
“Lena..? What are you thinking about this night?” William asked softly, and Lena remembered where she was. 
“Just... everything,” she sighed. William kissed her hand. 
“We’ll figure it out, I promise,” He said. Lena closed her eyes and tried to believe it. 
“A year William... My mother must’ve done numerous unspeakable things to them by now...” She looked away at the plaza. He squeezed her hand. 
“I was thinking of the same thing...” he said. Lena put her head on his shoulder. 
“I miss Wakko’s jokes... I miss Yakko’s wit... I miss Dot’s smile,” Lena said, smiling a little at the memory. 
“We’ll figure it out soon, i promise,” he kissed her head and closed his eyes as they sat on a bench outside the hospital.
“Soon...” she echoed. 
Soon her ass. 
Soon was a ridiculous unit of time. No matter how much time had passed, everything seemed to be “soon”. The word drove her mad. 
She was going to say something about this, when suddenly a bright green shooting star suddenly soared through the sky, grabbing her attention as it went all the way down before suddenly crashing down behind the Acme Mountains. 
“William- did you see that?” Lena tugged on his arm. 
“See what?” He tilted his head. 
“That star- it crashed just behind Acme Moutains,” She shook him so he opened his eyes and he quickly saw it. 
“That’s- no... that couldn’t be..? Could it?” He squinted at it. 
“I think it is...” Lena said. 
“You think the Wishing Star could actually be real?” He asked. 
“My father taught me about it when I was a little girl, the books are still in the library. My mother never approved of fictional books- it has to be true,” Lena quickly stood up. 
“Careful Lena, you’re still-”
“Oh hush William. Don’t you know what this means?” She asked. “This is our chance- we reach the wishing star we can reunite with the kids- and take down my mother for good.” 
“And everything would be perfect again...” William couldn’t help but smile. He stood and kissed her. 
“C’mon- we haven’t a moment to waste,” Lena said. 
“Woah, woah, woah. Lena, it’s very late. We need to go to sleep,” He said. 
“But- William- it’s right there,” She frowned. 
“Yes, but we’ll have to get a horse or two to share and it’ll be a long and treacherous journey- those mountains aren’t exactly easy to get through,” William warned. Lena sighed. 
“But... it’s right there... Our kids...” She looked at it. 
“I know... but I promise Lena, it’ll still be there in the morning. Wishing Stars aren’t common knowledge, and we’ll have the distance advantage,” William said. “So please... let’s get some rest before we go out, alright?” 
Lena sighed. “I hate when you’re right.”
“You love me,” He teased. 
“I know,” She rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek. “But.. tomorrow?”
He nodded. “Tomorrow. We’ll head out first thing in the morning.”
“To the Wishing Star...” She smiled. 
They were going to see their kids again after all. 
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14
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navalcriminalimagines · 4 years ago
Text
NCIS x SVU. Rafael Barba x Reader, dad!Gibbs x Reader.
request: Just want to ask if you could do a crossover where dad!Gibbs first meet the boyfriend and reader is dating Barba. Or something like that?
warnings: family lost
The first meeting
Being Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ daughter isn’t easy, for many reasons. On top is how he scares the shit out off the men you date. It happened with your boyfriend when you were 18. It took you months to make official presentations. Your father figured it out pretty quickly - that’s on being a federal agent - but waited until you told him. Then he met your boyfriend, it didn’t go very well. He never wanted to hang out at your place, and later he broke up with you, because “your father scares me so bad, I’m afraid if I do something wrong, he’s gonna shot me.”
His fears were legit. When your second boyfriend broke your heart, your father threated him so bad he moved from DC. Since then, you decided to keep your love life private, and barely tell your boyfriends about your dad. “He’s a navy cop” was well enough.
But your current boyfriend figured a few things, without you telling him. He knows your mum and baby sister were killed years ago, he knows the rules you go by come from your father. He knows your father is the love of your life, but for whatever reasons, you keep it to yourself.
However, Rafael was tired of that. He introduced you to his mother and grandmother - before she passed. He asked you to move in with him months ago (to which you agreed). Now, you said yes when he asked you to marry. Maybe it’s time for your father to meet your boyfriend—fiancé, actually.
You decided to surprise your father in DC. You and Rafael barely had entered the city when he saw you taking off your engagement ring. “Do I need to glue that diamond to your finger?” He said.
You giggled. “Don’t worry, I’ll put it back on quickly. It’s just that—if I show up with it around my finger, I won’t have time to even say a word,”
“It’s going to be fine, right?” He said as he extended his hand to your knee. You intertwined your fingers with his.
“Don’t be the smart ass you’re at work and we should be good,” you smiled and shoved the ring in your pocket.
*****
There was a whole plan. You picked up your grandfather Jackson at your father’s and dropped him and Rafael at the diner your father and you always go. Rafael already met your grandfather and Jackson loves your fiancé - although he doesn’t know he proposed yet. You had no worries about them staying together for a moment. You showed up at NCIS, to find Ellie and Nick working at their desks. “Evening, people!” You shouted, scaring Ellie off.
“Y/N, stop doing that!” She said, walking over to hug you. “Didn’t know you were coming this weekend,”
“Wasn’t plan until yesterday. Hi Nick,” you hugged him too. “Where’s Jack Sloane? I wanna meet the woman that confuse dad,”
You have a group chat with the team and it’s been weeks since they are telling you about the new agent and how your father is with her. They are convinced there’s something going on, you need to see it on your own. Unfortunately she wasn’t there.
A few minutes later, your father arrived in the bullpen and he was as surprised as Ellie and Nick to see you here. “Hey baby,” he hugged you tight, “Perfect way to end this day,” he said as he kissed your hair.
“Can you leave with me?”
Gibbs gave a few instructions and left with you. In the elevator, you turned off the engine. Your father looked at you, puzzled. “Wow, I do feel powerful doing that,” you stated.
“Is it why you did it?”
“No. I need to talk to you before we leave,” Gibbs saw your serious look. He turned to the side to face you.
“I’m not here alone,” you said. “Grandpa made the trip,”
“Y/N, you know your grandfather shouldn’t drive such a long ride by himself,”
“I know and I wanted to pick him up in Steelwater. You shouldn’t be surprised he refused,”
“Am not. I’m mad you gave him a choice,”
“Dad! That’s not the point, okay? He’s here and he’s safe. He’s waiting for us at the diner and he’s—not alone,”
Your father looked at you, waited for more information. “I want you to meet my boyfriend,” Gibbs didn’t answer, he just turned on the elevator. You switched it off right after. “Don’t go all overprotective, please. He’s nice. The best, actually. And he means a lot to me,”
“How long have you been hiding this from me?”
“Three—years,”
“Years?!”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I hid it from you, but I didn’t want you to scare him away. I love him,”
“What kind of man do you think I am?”
“The one that breaks my ex boyfriend’s arm because he broke up with me!”
“I didn’t want to break his arm. He wouldn’t shut up,”
“Anyway! Be nice and open minded, please?”
Gibbs wondered why you said “open minded”. He figured it out pretty quickly when he saw your boyfriend through the diner’s window. “How old is he, Y/N?” Not that Rafael looked particularly old, but he’s older than you and that can noticeable, especially for your father.
“Open minded, dad! You like red heads, I like older guys,” Gibbs swallowed hard when you said that. “Pop likes him. I’m sure you will too, if you give him a chance,” you slided your hand into your father’s, “Please?” You looked at him with those puppy eyes of yours. He now knows why it always worked when he did it with his mother.
Jackson was the first to see you and your father through the window. “Are you ready, Rafael?” Your boyfriend followed Jackson’s stare. You were obviously talking to your dad. “She’s warning him,” Jackson chuckled.
“I’m honestly afraid. I know that—if your son doesn’t like me, my relationship with Y/N is in danger,”
“You got me in your corner, son. It’s gonna be okay,”
Rafael watched you until you entered the diner. He stood up and extended his hand to your father. He felt like a teenager, meeting the scary father of his first girlfriend. But he’s a grown man, he is a shark in court, he usually scares people. He surely can handle your father. So he hoped.
“Nice to meet you, sir,” he said. When you noticed your father wasn’t shaking Rafael’s hand, you hit him with your elbow and he did it.
“Hi son,” Jackson stood up painfully and your father hugged him. You sat next to Rafael, across your father. Under the table, you grabbed your fiancé’s hand and squeezed it softly. “About time you arrive, we’re starving,” Jackson said. Your father kept staring at your fiancé. “I feel like the outsider here. You all work in law enforcement and here I am, old marine, with his shop,” thank god for your grandfather.
“What do you do?” Gibbs asked his son-in-law.
“Lawyer. ADA for Manhattan’s Special Victim Unit,”
“Good kind of lawyer,” you told your dad.
The diner went as good as it could go and it was all on your grandfather. You knew he was fond of your boyfriend and that he would make it easier. A few times, you had to give kicks to your father under the table to remind him to behave. Not that he was giving hard times to Rafael, but he was searching for a smallest bad thing in your boyfriend.
“How did I do?” Rafael asked when you were in the car. Your father and your grandfather were in your father’s car.
“He agreed for us to stay at home for the weekend, so that’s good. That’s really good actually,”
“Yeah, well, thank god you invited your grandfather,” Rafael chuckled.
“Told you we needed the shield,”
“You know, baby—I understand him. I didn’t sleep much last night and I tried the empathy thing. I would probably be like him if I went through the same things,” Rafael had his hand on your knee and he gave you a squeeze. “Wouldn’t want anything around a diamond like you,”
Though you were driving, you put one of your hands on his. “Mum would have loved you. She would have made him behave,” you giggled to that thought but Rafael heard the tears in your voice.
“I hope she knows how much I love her daughter,” Rafael brought your hand to his lips and softly kissed your knuckles.
Later that night, while Rafael was peacefully sleeping in your old room - he made a move but you refused to do anything in that room and he understood - you went downstairs and heard noise from the basement. “Old habits die hard,” you said, walking to your father.
“Did I wake you up? Not used to have people at home anymore,”
“Don’t worry, dad. I just couldn’t sleep,” you grabbed one of the tools and started to work on the boat just like your father showed you when you were little.
“Something’s bothering you? Are you disappoint by my behavior?”
“Nah. You did better than I thought, actually,” you told him. “And for what’s worth, Rafael understands why you are the way you are,”
“And what way would that be?”
“Overprotective. Worried. Scared, perhaps?”
“All I want is for you to be happy, sweetheart,”
“I know,” you let go of the tool and got closer to your father, making him stop what he’s doing. “I am, dad. Rafael makes me happy,” Gibbs could see the tears in your eyes even though the light was dim. He watched you taking something from your sweater’s pocket. “That’s why—“ you put the ring around your finger, “I said yes,”
You knew it was a lot in one night for your father. You didn’t know what his reaction would be. But he surprised you with a tight hug. “You’re happy, I’m happy, baby. Rafael is—seems like a very good man,”
You were happy about your life. But something was still off and no one, nothing can’t make it disappear, “I wish mummy and Kelly were still here,” you cried in your father’s arms.
“Me too, baby. Me, too,”
Rafael felt you leaving the bed. He always knew you had sleep issues. Sometimes when you disappeared in the middle of the night, he followed you because he knows you’re not okay. That’s exactly what he did, until he heard you and your father in the basement. He heard the entire conversation. It warmed and broke his heart in the same time. He could never take away the pain of losing your mother and your sister when you were a little girl. But he promised himself he would do everything he can to make it less painful.
In the morning, Rafael woke up before you. When he got downstairs, your father and grandfather were already up and eating breakfast. “Morning Rafael,” Jackson greeted him with a warm smile, which he returned.
Gibbs didn’t say anything, but with his hand, he ordered Rafael to follow him downstairs. “I now know why Y/N’s good with wood, and building things,” Rafael said with a - scared - smile.
Gibbs sat on his bench and looked up to his soon-to-be son-in-law. “I need you to make me one promise,” he said. Rafael nodded. “Promise me that—whatever happened to me, to my father or even, between you and my daughter, you will always be there for her,” Rafael felt he wasn’t done so he stayed silent, “I never approved of her exes because I knew they weren’t up for it. I feel like you are, so—promise me that, and I will let you marry her,”
“I promise you. I would promise it a hundred times if needed. Your daughter brought me back to life, she has no idea how happy she makes me. She deserves the world and I will give it to her,” Rafael paused to take a deep breath, “I promise you, I will always be there for her. No matter what,” he said. “sí o sí,” he repeated in a whisper.
Gibbs stood up and did something unexpected for both of them. He hugged Rafael. Not in a million years, Rafael would have imagined his father-in-law would hug him. But he did and you saw it.
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aomine-ryo · 4 years ago
Note
I can't think of a specific scene, but I just want some angst with Tatsuya please!! Thank youu ❤️
Haha it pained me to write this,, I might’ve cried a bit while typing out some of the dialogue lmao idk why I went so hard with the angst 😭 it’s so long as well ajsjsk
Anyways, I hope you like it!! xx
Scenario: Himuro moving away
gender neutral reader
All good things seem to come to an end. All your life, you were painfully aware of this fact. You tried making some exceptions, but they just proved you wrong in the end. So why did you think Himuro was any different?
You and Himuro clicked almost instantly ever since he moved into town and into the house right next to yours. It was your typical cheesy boy next door love story, but it still filled your life with colour.
The two of you began as friends, spending an awful lot of your time together— walking to and from school, study sessions and just plain hanging out. But by far, your favourite thing to do with Himuro was climb up to the roof of your house and stare at the stars together. You’d think that with the sheer frequency of your visits to the roof that either of you would get tired of it, but you never did. The stars never failed to fascinate you. Moreover, you had memories attached to the place. This was where Himuro confessed to you for the first time. You remember it like it was just yesterday.
“... and then I slipped on one of the steps and landed on Atsushi and everyone looked horrified,” Himuro recounted his awful experience that day as you tried to hold back your laughter.
However, the imagery of it only made you laugh even harder, “How are you that clumsy?” you said between laughs, clearly mocking him.
Himuro clicked his tongue in annoyance and slapped your arm lightly. “Stop laughing. I could’ve really gotten hurt, you know,” he said, not taking his eyes off of you for a moment, even after you had simmered down and looked back up at the sky.
“Sorry, sorry. I’m glad you’re okay. But you’re just really stupid sometimes,” you smiled, meaning every word you said.
Himuro just rolled his eyes as a response before a silence fell between you two. It wasn’t awkward nor uncomfortable, the two of you just embraced each other’s presence like it was second nature.
“Hey, Y/N,” Himuro said, breaking a five minute long silence after fighting the nerves by himself.
“Mhmm?” You hummed, looking over at him and realising that he seemed unusually on edge.
“What if I told you that I liked you?”
You felt your heart skip a beat at the sound of those words before your rational thinking came into play. “Well, I wouldn’t be surprised because you’re supposed to like me. You’re my friend, after all.”
Himuro visibly hesitated for a moment before deciding to go for it. “No, I mean more than in a friend type of way.”
You felt yourself freeze up as you tried to process what you had just heard. “Oh,” was the only thing you could muster.
A few seconds of silence passed as Himuro grew more and more nervous. “Should I have not said anything?”
You still didn’t say anything as your mind tried to come to some form of coherent thought. “What if I told you I liked you back?” you finally said, so nervous that you were unsure if he had even heard you.
He certainly did though as his eyes lit up and a gentle smile fell upon his face. He didn’t plan this far ahead. Now that he had gotten his answer, his mind was in a frenzy. “Can I kiss you?” he asked you softly since it was the only thing he could think of to do at that moment.
Without missing a beat, you nodded your head yes. And on that roof, under the stars, was where you and Himuro kissed for the very first time.
Ever since that night, the two of you would be all over each other. Of course, the change in titles was a bit awkward at first, but for the most part, the way you acted around each other wasn’t all that different. You’d still argue over your favourite tv show characters, you’d still laugh at each other’s jokes and you’d still meet up on that roof together. So really, nothing changed except that the two of you would hold hands and kiss every now and again.
It was perfect to you. You both really did love each other to the point where you could barely imagine a world without the other in it. Everything came so naturally with Himuro that it was so incredibly easy. You’d really never felt this way with anyone else before.
No one else around you was surprised when the two of you started dating either. When Himuro told Murasakibara about it a few days after you two got together, he even said, “Oh you two weren’t already a thing? Congrats, I guess.”
A little over a year had passed since you two began dating and things were going smoother than ever. Well, that was until one evening when the two of you were walking home after school.
“Hey Y/N, I kind of have to tell you something,” Himuro said, his voice softer than usual, making you stop swinging his arm playfully out of concern.
“What is it?” You questioned.
“Um, well, it’s kind of hard to say this, but I’m moving,” he said, avoiding eye contact out of nervousness.
Your heart sank as you stopped in your tracks, forcing Himuro to stop too. “Moving? Where?” you asked, bewildered.
“Back to America. My dad got transferred again, so we gotta move,” he explained, hating how pained your expression was.
You felt tears prick your eyes as you processed the fact that this was actually happening. “When are you leaving?” you asked, praying that it was a faraway time like next year.
“Next week.”
You felt everything shatter around you. The wind that blew your way draining the warmth out of you entirely. “But they can’t just move him away so suddenly! Surely there are documents and other processes he needs to sort out,” You argued, trying your best to convince yourself that you could keep Himuro for just a little longer.
“No, it’s all confirmed. Most of the stuff at home is even packed up,” Himuro said, trying to fight back tears of his own as he brushed his hair out of his eyes in frustration.
“Oh,” your voice cracked as tears streamed down your face. “So how long have you known?”
“About a month now. I was just trying to figure out how to tell you—“
“A month?” You exclaimed, raising your voice ever so slightly as you felt a wave of anger flow through you. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I didn’t know how. Plus I knew you’d get all sad and I didn’t want our last few days to be spent with you crying,” he explained, reaching his hand out to your face so that he could wipe the tears away.
He was quickly shut down by you swatting his arm away though, making him furrow his brows in confusion.
“How do you think this is any better?” You snapped. “I thought we told everything to each other. Now there’s no fucking time to do anything, do you realise that?”
“I do, but—“
“Save it, Tatsuya,” you cut him off as you wiped your tears away with the back of your hand. “I just need some space.”
Just like that you stormed away, deciding to walk back home alone and leaving Himuro behind, confused and hurt. He knew that you weren’t actually mad at him. He knew that you were just lashing out your frustration onto him because there was nothing else you could blame. He knew that. But why did watching you walk away cause an ache in his chest?
Himuro let you have the rest of the day to yourself. He did send you a few texts asking how you were holding up, but they got no response. In any other situation, he would’ve just walked right over to your house and checked for himself, but something told him that he was the last thing you wanted to see, despite the time crunch.
Himuro didn’t see you nor did he get a reply from you the next day either. By the time the evening rolled around and he had heard nothing from you, he decided that it was enough. If he didn’t do anything now, the last memory he’d have of you would be your anger.
The raven haired boy walked over to your house and knocked on the door. Your mum let him in with a smile, not thinking too much of it since she was so used to having him over. When Himuro entered your room, he found you simply just laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression.
“Y/N, are you just going to ignore me until I leave?” Himuro asked without even greeting you first.
You immediately sat up at the sound of his voice and stared at him from across the room. Now that you had run out of tears, you had slowly come to terms with the fact that he was actually leaving and you couldn’t really blame him. Your anger was uncalled for, but you didn’t want to admit it, not that Himuro was expecting you to anyway.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, voice raspy as though you’d just finished crying.
Himuro sighed as he felt his tension simmer down. He came in here expecting to tell you off, but it seemed like he didn’t need to do that after all. “You don’t need to apologise,” he said calmly as he walked over to your bed and took a seat next to you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Would you like to go up to the roof?”
A small smile fell upon your face for the first time in a while at the comforting words as you nodded in response.
Himuro took your hand and held it tight as the two of you headed up to lie down at your usual spot.
There was a full moon that night. Of course, the stars seemed inferior to the sheer brightness of the moon, but the night sky was still as gorgeous as ever. The two of you laid in silence for a moment to fully take in the sight. As you finally felt comfortable again, you noticed that you ended up matching your breathing with Himuro’s without even thinking of it.
“Do you really have to leave?” You said, directing your focus to your boyfriend, who was now more important to you than all the stars in the sky.
“I’m afraid I do,” he answered, squeezing your hand tighter.
“Can’t you just live with me? I’m sure my parents won’t mind. It seems like they love you more than me anyways,” you suggested, tone dead serious.
You watched as Himuro laughed at your idea. You could never get tired of his laugh. It was so soft and lovely that it made you want to capture it in a bottle and keep it all to yourself. “I wish I could, but my parents would kill me if I even tried asking them now. They’re so stressed about the move and I absolutely do not want to interfere,” he said, the moonlight making his dark eyes sparkle.
You took a deep breath as a moment of silence passed you by. Every part of you hurt to be with him, knowing that you weren’t going to see him again. It was a surprise that you could even talk to him normally without bursting into tears.
“Do you think we should call this quits?” You asked him, your fingers fiddling around with his.
“Call what quits?”
“Us. This relationship,” you clarified, looking at him with wide eyes. “There’s no way we can do long distance, especially after being so used to seeing each other every day.”
Himuro went silent for a second as he thought it over. This really fucking hurts. He hated thinking about it but this was the reality. “Yeah, I guess it’s for the best,” he said.
You were fully aware that you were the one that suggested it, but now hearing him say that triggered the tears all over again. “Cool,” you croaked as you did your best to fight back the cries. It was useless though, because you quickly became a sniffling mess next to Himuro.
“Hey, come on, it’ll be okay. We can go back to being friends. I’ll text you,” Himuro paused to wipe away his own tears, “I-I’ll text you every day. And we can call, and play video games, whatever you want.”
Himuro shifted over and rested on his elbow so that his other hand could wipe the tears off of your cheeks. His tender touch sent butterflies to your stomach as you felt your heart ache. His hand moved up to brush through your hair, bringing some form of familiar comfort which slightly calmed you down.
“Promise that you’ll still be my best friend?” you asked him with your shaky voice.
“Of course. Who else is going to tell me that I’m stupid every day?” he joked, making you laugh through the tears.
“Can I ask you for a favour?” You said softly.
“It’s not going to be to stay, is it?”
You giggled once again as you shook your head. “No, it’s not,” you said as you sat up.
“Alright then, shoot.”
“Well, I know we’re back to being friends now, but can you kiss me? Just one last time?”
Both of you hated the finality of those words, but that was simply the reality of the situation. Himuro smiled and nodded, “Of course.”
He leaned in, pressing his familiar soft lips against yours in the softest way possible. He could feel the hot tears trickling down your cheeks. His hand moved to wipe them away as your fingers wandered into his silky dark hair. You didn’t want this moment to ever end. The feel of his lips against yours, the way he held you so carefully, the taste of the chapstick he applies to combat the coldness of your town— you didn’t want to say goodbye to it. You didn’t want to say goodbye to him.
Eventually, he had to pull away, knowing that the longer it went on, the more difficult it would be to end. “Satisfied?” he asked you with a smile, wanting to move away from the seriousness of this situation.
“I suppose I am,” you said with a sigh. “First and last kiss on this roof, huh? How poetic.”
“Hm, I didn’t even think about that,” Himuro said, realising how absolutely bittersweet that kiss was.
Another silence fell between the two of you. You didn’t need to say anything to know that the other was savouring these last moments together.
“Hey Tatsuya,” you said as both of your gazes were fixated on the sky once again.
“Yes, Y/N?”
“I’ll miss this.”
“Me too,” he muttered before the two of you went quiet again.
“Hey Tatsuya,” you spoke again after a few minutes.
“Yes, Y/N?” he replied, your name rolling off his tongue in the same sweet way as it always would.
“I’ll miss you.”
Himuro took a deep breath and ignored the break in his heart. There was nothing else he could do.
“I’ll miss you too, Y/N.”
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tojisveryown · 4 years ago
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𝙸𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙴𝚢𝚎𝚜 | 𝟶𝟾
© 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚓𝚒𝚜𝚋𝚋𝚢𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛
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𝚌: 𝚠𝚃𝟼𝙸𝙳𝟸𝚀𝟺𝙰𝙺𝚄𝟿𝚏𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚠𝚝
𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝.
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚑𝚘𝚕, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚡, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐 𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟷.𝟷𝚔
𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎 𝙰𝚄, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙽𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚔?
𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 | 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟶𝟾 | 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝
(𝚄𝚗𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍)
⋆ 💌⋆ 
Time had passed, a couple days turned into a week and the cloudy weather had gone away. During the last few weeks of spring you were able to enjoy the beautiful sight of the cherry blossoms falling. 
You thought about Satoru when you witnessed the fallings of the sakura flowers, like the flower that’s known to bloom during spring, you found yourself falling. 
Time slowly passed for Satoru but for you time only got faster, your time with Satoru was limited. His love for you was never ending, unlike his time. You felt as if you haven’t done anything special for him, it was constantly Satoru showing you affection. You didn’t want him to go thinking you didn’t love care for him.
It took you a precisely a week, a week to figure out your feelings towards the stupid white haired Satoru, you came to a conclusion that you couldn’t imagine yourself loving anyone but him. 
Your time with him wasn’t very long and neither of you have many memories of each other besides the very blurry memories you have of him during high school and the ones you’ve made with him now. You treasured the moments you had with him deeply in your heart. 
Realizing this, Satoru was the reason you were able to make friends such as Utahime and Nanami, it wasn’t much but you knew you were able to rely on them and that was enough for you. Like it or not, Satoru was the whole reason you felt happier, you had the things you dreaded turn into things you looked forward to. In high school you usually ate lunch in class alone, but now you had lunch with Nanami where the both of you talked about the books you two were reading and you loved that. You no longer had to study alone in the painfully quiet library because Utahime was there. 
You noticed small changes in yourself, the type of changes you never though you’d crave. 
Your love would only grow deeper. You made it your mission to show Satoru you heart for as long as he has left.
⋆ 💌⋆
“Yo Nanami? What’s up?” Nanami walked into the mess of a room that Gojo was apparently living in. 
Nanami sighed as he leaned on one of his tables after setting down the plastic filled with bread he had brought for Gojo. Gojo was seated on his bed grinning to Nanami waiting to see what had brought him over. “You disgust me.” 
“Hey! What did I do?!” 
“Clean your room Satoru, you’re not a little kid anymore.”
“Eh it’s not like I have much longer anyways.” 
Nanami’s fists clenched, he was uneasy and weary about Gojo. After all they were very close. “Don’t joke around like that-”
“Why not? You know just as well as I do that I probably won’t live to see another spring.” Gojo laid himself on his bed, arms folded over behind his neck and ankles crossed, he continued, “Plus I did already stop taking my medication and it’s too late to take it now, might as well just accept my fate you know?” 
“I’m disappointed.” Nanami took a deep breath and looked at Gojo with sympathetic eyes. He tried to understand what Gojo was feeling but it wouldn’t click, what idiot wouldn’t wanna keep on living? 
“I know you are, my parents probably are too.” Gojo let out a dry laugh and gave a small smile to Nanami. 
“Wasn’t Y/N enough? Isn’t she enough for you to fight?” 
“Stop.”
“For fucks sake Gojo, are you even trying?” Gojo opened his mouth to speak but no words came out “Are you even considering how Y/N would feel if she knew you gave up?” 
“What’s the point of trying if I’m just gonna die anyways, she’ll move on and fall in love with someone else, someone that I don’t know? Doesn’t have a limit on the time they have left? Do you honestly think I wanna leave Y/N? I don’t wanna hurt her anymore than I will.”
“You’re impossible.” Nanami rubbed his temples and threw the plastic filled with pastries on Gojo’s bed.
Gojo opened one of the pastries and stuffed his face with it, Nanami observed Gojo, today he seemed more pale than usual and his veins were such a bright color. It’s obvious he hasn’t ate if he’s eating the bread like a caveman. 
“So yorm gomma wamch Y/N whemn mm gmme?” 
“Please don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“Sorry sorry, so.. you’re gonna watch Y/N when I’m gone?” Nanami gulped loudly and shot a what the fuck? look at Gojo “Don’t give me that look, I know you like her. Pretty obvious if I do say so myself.”
“Stop talking nonsense.” 
“So you didn’t pay for her books in high school because you thought she was cute?” 
“No!”
“Nanami it’s okay, I love her. I really do but there’s not much I can do anymore, and after all I did tell you to take care of her.”
“Yeah when you were ignoring her.”
“Hey! I wasn’t ignoring her by choice, I had checkups almost that whole week and the hospital scent wasn’t going away.” 
“Her heart belongs to you, you know?”
“Mmm nah, I don’t think so. Take good care of her, or I’ll come back to haunt you.” Nanami laughed “Oi, I’m serious. If she really does love me, be the reason she can love again after I’m gone.”
⋆ 💌⋆
You spent all of today thinking about the ways you’d be able to confess to Satoru. You wanted it to be meaningful and heartfelt but yet simple and straight to the point.
You thought back to the time you two were stargazing, he had told you the moon was beautiful. 
“Wait. He told me the moon looked beautiful?” Your eyes widen and the realization “Gojo loves me?” 
You were quick to grab your phone and type in the exact words, the moon is beautiful, isn’t it? After pressing send your heartbeat began to increase. 
“God I hope it reaches him.” 
⋆ 💌⋆
Nanami shortly left Gojo’s after realizing how late it got. Gojo smiled sweetly and the finished project. He had finally finished after putting all his efforts into it. After all you were counting on him. 
Gojo could finally rest easy. He had laid himself down and reminisced on the times he had with you. You filled his mind to the brim, you were intoxicating to him. He loved every aspect of your personality and very bit of you. He had been holding on for so long, putting up a facade hiding the fact that he’d only grow worse. Gojo had finally accepted the fact that he was in love with you. He was content with your time spent together, of course he wanted more of it but for someone like him, he learned to be appreciative of what he was able to get. He could finally let go. 
“I can die happy.”
⋆ 💌⋆
𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 | 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 | 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 | 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝
𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜.. 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝙰𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚕���𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌! 𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢'𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥
⋆ 💌⋆
𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @peppytine​​​​​​​​​ @enesitamor​​​​​​​​​ @fairyblue-alchemist​​​​​​​​​ @diluczs​​​​​​​​​ @honouredsatoru​​​​​​​​​ @thankuary​​​​​​​​​ @sookyshima​​​​​​​​​
© 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚓𝚒𝚜𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛
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