#it’s one am give me a fucking break man

[domm1etae]

Right in Front of You

f!reader x roommate yunho

oneshot | mdni

1.2k

Y/N spends Valentine’s night searching for a hookup, only to come home empty-handed—until she realizes the perfect option was sitting in her apartment all along, proving that sometimes, the best things don’t need to be chased—they’re already waiting for you

nsfw tags under

f/m, vaginal sex, teasting, dirty talk, fingering, doggy style, top yunho, bottom reader, roommates, reader is on BC, roommates to fucking?

author's note: since yesterday was February 14th—aka Valentine’s Day—but i didn’t post anything, i decided to drop a little post-Valentine’s treat ;))

Y/N barely managed to keep her balance as she fumbled with the lock, heels dangling from one hand, bag slipping from the other. She was still in last night’s outfit—nothing too scandalous, but enough to scream I was trying to get laid and failed miserably. Her makeup wasn’t ruined per se, but her eyeliner had smudged just enough to give away that she hadn’t just stepped out looking fresh.

The moment she stumbled into the apartment, Yunho’s laughter rang through the living room. He was perched on the couch, long legs stretched out, nursing a mug of coffee like some judgmental prince.

“Well, good morning,” he drawled, a smirk playing at his lips. “What a sight I have right now.”

Y/N groaned, flipping him off without breaking stride as she tossed her shoes near the door.

“Rough night?” Yunho asked, his tone drenched in amusement.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” she grumbled, finally collapsing onto the couch next to him. “What about you? What did you do?”

Yunho took a slow sip of his coffee before answering. “Me? Oh, nothing crazy. Made dinner, played some games till like 2 AM, then went to bed.” He tilted his head toward her, eyes twinkling. “What about you? Who was the lucky one who took you home?”

Y/N groaned dramatically, draping an arm over her face. “That’s the thing. You’d think that on Valentine’s Day, the club would be filled with hot singles, right? But no. Just couples everywhere—kissing, slow dancing, rubbing their happiness in my face. Not a single man in sight.”

Yunho hummed, setting his mug down on the coffee table. “Huh. Well, I was alone yesterday, you know.”

She peeked at him from under her arm, brows furrowing. “What are you saying, Yunho?”

He turned to her then, closer than before, his gaze no longer teasing but intent. His voice dropped, slow and deliberate.

“If you wanted action,” he murmured, “you didn’t have to go to some stupid club.”

Y/N’s breath hitched as Yunho leaned in, close enough for her to catch the faint scent of coffee and whatever stupidly nice cologne he always wore. His arms rested on the couch, caging her in.

Her lips parted slightly, a mix of confusion and anticipation making her pulse spike. “You—what?”

Yunho scoffed, tilting his head at her like she was the dumbest person he’d ever met. “You’re actually so blind, Y/N,” he muttered, voice thick with amusement but something else too—something darker, something hungry. “You had the easiest opportunity to get laid right in front of you this whole time.”

His fingers trailed up her thigh, just barely skimming the fabric of her dress, and Y/N felt her brain short-circuit.

Looping her fingers behind his waistband, she tugged him even closer, their lips a hair’s breadth apart. “If that’s true, then maybe you should do something about it,” she murmured.

Yunho didn’t need to be told twice.

His mouth crashed against hers, hands sliding up to cup her face, thumbs digging in just enough to make her gasp. That was all the opening he needed, tongue slipping past her lips as he pressed his body flush against hers.

Heat coiled low in her stomach as Yunho’s hands abandoned her face in favor of something much more sinful—one slipping under her dress, the other palming her breast as he deepened the kiss, tilting her head just the way he wanted.

Y/N moaned into his mouth, fingers fumbling at his shirt, nails dragging over his abs before slipping beneath the waistband of his sweats.

“Fuck,” Yunho growled against her lips, his breath coming out shaky. “You’re really desperate, huh?”

Y/N had half a mind to be embarrassed, but then Yunho was pushing her dress up around her waist and dragging her panties down her thighs, and any rational thought she had completely dissolved.

He let out a low groan, fingers sliding through her slick folds, teasing her entrance before slipping one inside. Y/N’s breath stuttered, her back arching at the delicious stretch.

“Shh, keep quiet for now,” he murmured, smirking when she let out a sharp gasp. “We’ll see how long you last before you’re screaming my name.”

Y/N was about to snap back at him, but then he added another finger, curling them just right, and her head hit the back of the couch, a strangled moan ripping from her throat.

Yunho chuckled, working his fingers into her at a pace that was just slow enough to be torturous.

“You’re soaking wet,” he mused, voice dripping with satisfaction. “All that time looking for a one-night stand, and you could’ve just asked me.”

Y/N barely managed to glare at him, her fingers digging into his arms as she rocked against his hand, chasing the friction. “Stop talking and do something.”

Yunho raised a brow, then grinned. “Oh, you’re gonna regret saying that.”

In one swift motion, he withdrew his fingers and flipped her over, pressing her chest against the couch as he yanked her hips up. Y/N gasped, arching into him as he shoved his sweats and boxers down just enough to free himself.

She turned her head slightly, eyes widening as she caught sight of his cock—thick, flushed, and already dripping at the tip.

“Oh, fuck me,” she breathed.

“That’s the plan,” Yunho smirked, dragging the head of his cock through her slick folds before teasing her entrance.

And then he pushed in.

A broken moan ripped from Y/N’s throat as he sank into her, inch by inch, stretching her out in a way that had her thighs trembling.

Yunho let out a shuddering breath, his grip on her hips tightening. “Fuck, you’re tight,” he hissed. “You feel even better than I thought you would.”

Y/N barely had time to process that statement before he snapped his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt.

She choked on a gasp, back arching, hands scrambling for purchase against the couch.

“Oh my God—”

“Yeah?” Yunho groaned, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in. “Go on, baby. Let me hear who’s making you feel this good.”

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, nails digging into the cushions. “Fuck, Yunho! You!”

He growled at that, fingers tangling in her hair as he yanked her head back slightly. “That’s right,” he murmured against her ear before biting down on her shoulder, setting a pace that had her body rocking against the couch.

Y/N felt like she was burning, pleasure coiling in her stomach as his thrusts grew rougher, more desperate.

“I can feel you squeezing me,” Yunho groaned, his hand sliding around to rub tight circles against her clit. “You gonna cum for me, baby?”

Y/N nodded frantically, barely able to form words. “Y-Yeah, fuck, Yunho—”

Her body tensed, pleasure exploding through her as she came with a cry, trembling beneath him. Yunho followed soon after, spilling deep inside her with a groan, his body slumping against hers.

For a moment, all she could hear was their ragged breathing.

“So... you wanna tell me that all this time I could’ve been getting the best dick ever, and instead I’ve been suffering in silence?”

Yunho chuckled against her skin. “Well, I guess we have time to make up for that.”

[kurooh]

rockstar! choso is immediately charmed by the pretty fan sitting up close to the stage in the first row. a laminated vip pass glints against your chest, drawing his attention right to the lacy bra beneath your thin, see-through tee.

he’s so distracted that he stumbles over a few chords, earning himself a few looks of confusion from other band members. you cheer him on, shouting along the lyrics to his favorite song, the one that he always performs his signature move during.

pink and pierced, choso’s tongue strokes up the side of his guitar, and he keeps his eyes on you until his riff is over. of course, the crowd screams, chanting his name and waving their signs around. all of the shouting fades into staticky background noise when he sees you cheering, looking a little bashful from such a great show.

later, to make the most of your vip status, you slip behind the scenes to visit with a band member or two, only to meet choso, who shows you around before inviting you into his trailer for an autograph.

“shit,” you gasp, voice tight as your body rolls against his, “do you do this with every fan in the front row?”

“no, i don’t,” choso murmurs between open-mouthed kisses to your neck, feeling drunk with every inhale of your scent, “but you’re not just a front row fan.”

his silver rings feel cool against your hips as he holds you close, deliberately taking his time to appreciate you. it feels like one of the songs he wrote, with hot flashes shooting through you and each kiss making your head spin faster.

you bite your lip, picking up on the earnest tone of his raspy voice. still, it’s so hard to maintain a steady train of thought with him pushing you closer to a breaking point. “yeah? what am i then?”

choso swallows, experimentally dipping a finger just below the waistband of your shorts, far enough to graze against the lace of your underwear. fuck, you’re wearing a matching set, aren’t you? his mind races, desperately searching to connect the dots.

the pet name rolls off his tongue easily. “oh, sweetheart. i’ve seen you in the front row every time the band goes on tour.”

you arch into his touch, pushing impossibly closer. this is highly unprofessional, but you’re the high he’s been chasing for the past few years—always seeing you in this city, pretty as the last time you ‘met’. now, he’s too determined to let you slip through his fingers again, and he unintentionally shows just how much he needs you with each greedy squeeze of your skin.

“give me a kiss,” you slip a finger beneath his chin, lifting his head up from your collarbone. a stifling heat coils in your gut when his eyes meet yours, shining with the insatiable desperation of a man who’s been starving.

“yes ma’am.”

choso’s lips just barely brush against yours before the slam of the opening door startles the two of you out of your skins. in walks the band’s vocalist, blond and radiant as can be—a smile plays on yuki’s lips as she regards her bandmate.

she probably thinks you’re some groupie with the way she arches a brow at you, her face radiant yet unreadable.

“you’re both so serious!” yuki finally laughs, glossed lips parting as she speaks. “relax, i don’t bite.”

this is when she directs her attention to you and winks: “not unless you want me to, cutie.”

choso groans, rolling his eyes as if he’s used to these antics. “okay, yuki. seriously?”

instead, she prattles on, only stepping closer. the gap between the two of you grows smaller and smaller until she’s right beside choso, effectively having cornered you against the wall.

“you treatin’ our girl the way she deserves, choso?”

“what kind of question is—”

“hey, babe,” yuki’s up in your face and you swallow nervously, feeling your body tingle just from her voice and the proximity. “looks like you enjoyed the show out there, hm?”

“o-of course, i thought you guys were amazing! your vocals are heavenly, and i was hoping i’d maybe get an autograph.” in her presence, it’s impossible to not be at least a little starstruck.

golden blond bangs bounce as she leans in, close enough to kiss or tell a secret. “any objections to a private show, just the three of us? choso’s real good with his fingers.”

“y-yuki!” he sputters, flushing scarlet down to his neck as he tries to rectify her flirtatiousness, “she’s just, uh, saying that because of the guitar.”

before you can speak, yuki chuckles, seemingly proud of herself. she’s effortlessly flawless and totally comfortable around you, carrying herself confidently in a way that is most magnetic. oh, and she definitely knows the effect it has on you—her eyes crinkle in the corners as she looks over your face.

all too soon, you find yourself leaning in, gravitating toward the two of them without a second thought or single doubt.

“there she is,” yuki coos, messing with the laminated pass hanging around your neck. “oh, and you’ll get your autographs. just gotta put on a show for us too, babe.”

“i’d give it to you without the show,” he breathes, cheeks flushed the prettiest shade of pink. “wherever you want it.”

inspired by this tiktok !

[nanamisgirly]

imagine nerd!Choso, you both are in the same degree. he didn't really noticed you at first but, for some unknown reasons, he kept bumping into you— wether in the hallway or you'd be few rows in front of him during lectures. And just like that, he developed an obsession toward you. and might god forgive him, but he couldn't help jerking off his cock at the thought of his length disappearing between your lips, eyes flickering up at him with a teasing glint. he was kind of sad you didn't even know he existed :/

but how lucky! in one of your lesson, the teacher assigned a partnered project. and fortunately, the duo were made with a randomized system!! Choso did not think twice, with some quick manipulation on his computer, he paired himself…with you! almost too easy

on your side tho, you had never heard the name Choso before. So when you reached out to set up a time for the project, you didn't expect much of it. But now…sitting across from him…his wide figure looming over the table, inked arms straining against the ridiculous tightness of his shirt…that was another story. How hadn't you noticed such a pretty face?? sharp eyes lined with kohl, two messy buns with some rebellious strands framing his beautiful features, and perfect dark purple painted nails tapping against the table. ‘am i blind or sum?’ you wondered. 

nerd!Choso was originally awkward with social interaction but more so when it came to you. He clears his throat "I- uh," he started, voice trembling "f-for the work, would you like t-t- to…" his cheeks flushed an adorable pink as you stared at him, giving him time to formule his thoughts ‘such a cute boy’ you mused.

"we can do it at my home!" he suddenly blurted out, words rushed, as if the poor man hadn’t said it now, he never would have :( "i- i mean, t-the assignment! o-of course..." he was so embarrassed of himself, his hands nervously cupping his warm milk chocolate "if— if you want to.." his eyes darted anywhere but yours, unable to hold your gaze. not when you were looking so intently, like you were seeing right through him. because what if you had some superpowers, the kind to read his horny thoughts, the kind to know exactly how many times he fucked his fist to the image of your pretty mouth stuffed full of his aching cock. catastrophe!!!!

nerd!Choso was blushing furiously, messier, stuttering over his words more than usual when you were unconditionally giving your best to give the man a gooood ride. “p-p-please” he whined, voice breaking. You leaned in, your breath warm against his ear “tell me, my pretty shy boy…what are you begging for, hmm? use your words, pretty". 

choso's hands gripped your thighs like a lifeline, fingers digging into your skin. “y-you— mngh, it's— it's too good. i can't last— i— please,” he choked out, eyes glossy as you slammed your hips down harder. His happy trail rubbed against your clit with every grind. the friction giving you as much pleasure as him.

“preeetty boy," you cooed, trying to maintain your composure despite having his fat dick stretching you enough to see stars. “is this what you've been thinking about the whole year? me riding you? or even better,” your mouth went for his neck, licking softly, contrasting with the pulsing grip of your cunt, milking his cock. "touching yourself to the thought of my glossy lips wrapped around your pathetically big dick ?" your voice was so sensual "tell me, tell me and i'll give you what you want” that man was moaning, the sluttiest moans escaping his throat. in response, your walls clenched harder, trying to suck him in even deeper at this point. “i— i was— i mean, i- fuckfuckfuck" choso were sur he lost the ability to form a simple sentence, his head falling back as he felt his tip kissing your cervix. but he tried his best to continue "i— i was…pumping my— my cock at the- mngh, thought o-of you..t-takin' me…d-d-deep,” poor boy was losing his mind. You've never seen a man being that pussy drunk, so openly lost into you, that was addicting.

your fingers trailed over his inked pecs, moving along the curves of his tattoos making their way to his nipples, and you pinched. not too rough to hurt but enough to send jolts of pleasure through his body. “look at this good boy," you sighed, feeling choso throbbing inside you. "earned the right to cum inside me… would you like that?”. 

you loved teasing him. he was a total whimpering, fucked out mess beneath you. ‘so cute’

nerd!Choso was as sur as the sky is blue that you had superpowers, somehow. and you both sur as well scored a beautiful A on the assignment.

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

[toriaanin]

Well hello there (redacted*)! How nice of you to drop by. I'd offer you a cup of tea, but...

Me and my Lukola friends are too blind to find anything in the kitchen!

And while I'm paying attention to you (redacted)... did you not read the article that Nicola posted yesterday? Did you not take the hint that she was admonishing trolls and online bully behaviour? You know; behaviour that looks suspiciously like your message (above) to me? Perhaps you have eyesight issues too. Yes. Yes, I think you do.

As for me...

I'm simply following the clues that a possibly pregnant women has left for me and my friends. In fact her clues are more easily readable than brail.

Now; about this so called "launch" you speak of? Give me a break. Even through the haze of my cataracts I was able to see that her post for Jake the other day was lame. She didn't even tag him.

Let's compare her untagged "love" post to Jake with the HBD wishes she's posted on her IG stories for her other friends:

She shares a photo of Jake next to the trash can; a photo that doesn't even include her IN it. Surly Nicola has better photos of "the love of her life" on her phone?! Let's compare with how she wishes her very good friend Jack Rooke a happy birthday. So sweet! And tagged.

When Nicola wished Luke Fetherston a happy birthday she not only shared a photo with both of them in it, she also gave him THREE red hearts! Now that's hard launch material right there!! Oh. And he was tagged.

Nicola even gave more birthday love to Valentina, Camilla's dog, than she did to Jake. Sadly Valentina wasn't tagged either... although Camilla was 🥰 BUT, Nicola called Valentina a princess!

Don't worry. Jake's friend Hannah gave him this honourific, so he wasn't left out of the princess fairytale. It must be love!

But wait... there's competition for Jake's love!!

Now these are romantic birthday wishes to Jake, posted by Doug and Dylan the other day.

Clearly the man is loved by his friends. Deservedly so, I'm sure.

But I really, really, really question whether THIS was a hard launch?

Seems to me it was simply a birthday wish for her friend (not lover) Jake. Unfortunately she posted at 6:30am when she was half awake and neglected to tag him. Unlike her spelling-mistake story showing the billboard in Los Angeles, she didn't delete and repost Jake's birthday wish with the missing tag. I guess Luke and Bridgerton's ensemble cast nomination warranted a correctly spelled "Surprise". Deleted; replaced.

Now I ask you; am I really blind? I saw well enough to compile the photos above and make perfect sense of them. I don't see a love-launch of Jake. I see a man living his life, preparing for an amazing lead theatre role. What an opportunity! I also see a man that didn't spend time with Nicola over Christmas, New Years, her birthday, his birthday (according to her, she was in LA. Sure Jan), and today: Valentine's Day. I also see a man who is loved by his friends. Nicola is his friend.

Unless I'm missing something?

So (redacted*)... rather than come over here and rag on the truth I and my Lukola friends see - and that I shared above - why don't you and your little weiner-dog leader fuck the hell off. We know.

P.S. I'm tempted to create some merch for us blind Lukolas! Sarcastic t-shirts and sweatshirt merch is fun 💙 Want one?!

P.S.S. I've redacted the name of this poster because 10 hours after she sent this message to me, she recalled it... just before I was about to post this response. I could have scrapped my post, but she challenged me to SEE the truth. I wanted to oblige. I've redacted her name on the chance that she realized she didn't message me anonymously and so she chickened out and pulled her ask. Or perhaps she thought about Nicola's troll/bully post from yesterday and thought better of her action. Let's give her grace and assume that she came to her senses and not that she's too chicken shit to have her name out there along with her bully behaviour.

Aanin friends!

[multiheadcanons]

THE GOOFIEST SONGS I ASSOCIATE WITH THE MERCS

scout: frankly all of the offense classes get the same song, but it’s the muppet cypher hosted by the stupendium and it’s seven minutes long with multiple artists so guess what it’s all different songs to me today. and they all get this cypher because all three of these dumbasses are muppets in human form. scout definitely gets rizzo’s verse because if nathan didn’t exist skull from jt music is my canon voice for scout. also, “you can leave it to me to put the rat in the race”? “any kind of fourth wall i will happily break”?? dude that’s scout! that IS scout!

soldier: the second dumbass human muppet. y’all know he’s actually sam eagle in human form, right? so sam eagle’s entire verse is indeed soldier. down to the blatant misinformation in the verse because he’s just fucking stupid. i can just hear soldier saying the entire verse word for word as a monologue. “a bunch of weirdos and nerdies”. i bet he does call his teammates nerds. i know he does. the second they show anything more than like, a moderate amount of excitement he’s like wow… what a major nerd. i live and work with major weirdos and nerds.

pyro: the third dumbass human muppet. definitely gonzo the great’s verse, and literally what made me think of this entire post. if only because of the killer lyric combo of “am i he? am i she? am i omnigender? check none of the above, love, i’m whatever” (which is literally just a smooth ass, dope ass lyric and so very real and relatable) and “nobody’s gonna be telling me what is and isn’t canon” because actually yes pyro is my little doodle doll that i doodle on and go “hehe. nice.” and some days pyro is a dragon and other days pyro is a capybara and on the holidays they’re a faerie but really what pyro is is whatever i want them to be on any given day at any given moment. and nobody’s gonna be telling me what is and isn’t canon. honestly the whole cypher eats definitely go give it a listen.

demoman: i just have a question— are your lips dry? i think about demo, and i think about a song, about drinks…. and nothing else. get your mind out of the gutter. can y’all tell i love the stupendium yet? the vending machine of love is definitely one of many masterpieces in stupe’s discography. and the whole vibe of the song is demo the man. eloquent, and elegant, and so effervescent; bubbly, fast paced, with killer lyrics and a smooth, satisfying delivery. and very queer. just like our favorite demolitions expert. slot your pennies in his vending machine of love. and i think demo, like onlycans, the app for soda lovers, is a true chameleon in the sense that there’s really no such thing as not getting along with demo. you will find something about him just irresistible to be around! he’s a chatty, fun loving guy, he’s funny, he’s flirty but not creepy with it (as long as he’s not absolutely plastered), you cannot help but love something about the guy.

heavy: double homicide by cupcakke is heavy weapons guy. sorry not sorry. shut the FUCK up and show me how y’all hold the spot. actual lyric in this actual song. it literally opens with “treat every [REDACTED] just like a sloppy joe; in cold words, bitch we only finna meet for bread” like first of all that’s misha. that IS misha. and the entire first half of the song being so forceful /pos, while not being nearly as fast as it will get in the second half of the song. “head shoulders knees and toes, i bet this bitch won’t leave with those” “itty itty bitty when you’re standing against me” like good god cupcakke wrote this and then said “wow you know who would like this, heavy weapons guy from critically acclaimed game team fortress two”, also it literally ENDS on “motherfucker need a doctor” which makes me scream because i think about the fact that if heavy is dominating an enemy medic, he doesn’t have domination lines against the medic; he’s only insulting the rest of the team for not protecting him. it reminds me of that lazypurple clip where he’s like “don’t rush heavy without a plan, that’s what he wants.”

engineer: he does what he does cause he’s a total fuckin cunt-ry boy. bo burnham has this song. i literally don’t know what it’s actual title is, but it’s that fucking country song? frankly i think engie would like bo burnham in general as a comedian, when i think of engie’s sense of humor i definitely think of bo burnham. dry, dark, poignant, fast enough that you’ll lose him if you don’t keep up. i also heavily associate entropy by awkwardmarina with him too. i think engie is, at his core and at his best, morally grey. self-sufficient, self-serving, and willing to do anything to get him where he needs to go. i think him shifting too far into “good” or “bad” does little justice for who dell conagher is in my mind and removes so much of any facet of his personality that he’s not dell: an insanely intelligent man, who comes from insanely intelligent family, with a lot of secrets he is the sole guard of at this time. and i think engie does feel like he is out of place most places from the sheer amount of information running through his mind at any given point. he’s simply not generic in a way that would make him a real, true functioning member of average society. but for the place he carved out for himself, he absolutely is a pillar and cornerstone of his community. the team would simply not be the same if he wasn’t there.

medic: YOU’RE EITHER WITH ME OR DOOMED! pharrell williams has actually released nothing but banger after banger for the despicable me soundtrack, and the good doctor does indeed get hug me from the third movie that i never watched. what i can tell you though, is that in no case of any one on one interaction with medic, is he ever the straight man. this man is an instigator, a shit starter, and a shit ender with the grin to match. because who else will stay in trouble with you? the doctor will run into open fire with you if he has a 75% confidence one of you will make it to the other side. and if it’s below, he’s willing to try to figure out what you both can do to better those odds. the best part about medic is that he is not a runner. god tier partner in crime. he will get arrested with you and call the team to post bail for both of you. he can be stuck to your hip if you want him to be. the world is his oyster, and for the low price of your soul it can be yours too.

sniper: i don’t know why, but tom cardy’s perception check is sniper to me. other than the fact that i do believe snipes is literally the most perceptive mercenary, like i don’t think anything has ever not been registered in snipes’ subconscious that he was witnessed even out of his peripherals, but i also think that there is an odd algorithm between snipes doing well on the field, and the rest of the team doing well on the field. and there’s a spot where one can argue both parties do “well”; but if the team is absolutely massacring on the field, sniper has missed nine of his ten shots. but! when the team is eating shit on the field; those happen to be the days sniper has gotten nine hours of sleep. also, snipes is probably lethal with some of the insults he’ll hurl on the field. if he doesn’t just straight up point at engie sometimes and yell “SHORT!”

spy: yet another banger from the despicable me soundtrack. i could go on at length about how double life has also cemented itself as one of pharrell william’s absolute masterpieces not just in the despicable me soundtrack, not just in animated movie soundtrack, but perhaps his entire discography. and i see the edit in my mind, seriously. i see the mid teens edit style spycentric MEP except it’s not romantic it’s the fact that his team doesn’t trust him as far as they can throw him. i can see the edit so clearly in my mind… i really think about the line “it doesn’t matter to you if you get heads or tails, you just don’t like to flip all the time.” because to me, that’s a very canonically spy sentiment! and it’s why i personally justify to myself why spy would even bother to sign onto a team of mercenaries, instead of continuing to be a lone wolf. he wants to have a group he can align himself with. he’s looking for a reciprocation of the support he knows he offers. but his team greatly distrusts him for it.

[morgantheblue]

(Some of) The Batfamily, as Dracula Flow Quotes

Bruce: "If this watch breaks, the foreign exchange market will take a 28% hit. People WILL die." "I don't give a fuck if I go blind I don't need to see the price tag anyways"

"I started this shit"

Dick: I'm the "Him-ulation", I am "Him Kardashian "Him-buktu", "Him-on and Pumba" I got my DNA test back Turns out I'm one-hundred percent Him-alayian"

"I balled so hard they thought I was a fuckin nutsack"

"These Valentinos are from Milan, you fuckin' idiot"

Alfred: "I was flippin bricks for Mansa Musa before y'all became a type one civilisation"

"I only gave back the free world cause I was fuckin' bored"

Selina: "That pussy got me screamin', cryin', pissin', shittin', shootin' ropes" "You can't trust me, I don't even trust myself" "My diamonds come from the most horrific situations possible" "I bought her Chanel bags until there was nothing left in her eyes"

Babs: "Got a ruptured eardrum from having my ears to the streets for so fuckin' long" "I got this shit figured out" "Threw the opp into the particle collider, watched his ass get pulled apart into a million pieces Turned his sorry ass into some data"

Cass: " This shit ain't nothin' to me, man"

"They needed a stealth soldier, so I put my hands on the hibachi hotplate at Benihana and burned my fuckin' fingerprints off. They will not find me."

"Ops wanted some initiative, blew up their entire quadrant I'm movin' like Oppenheimer"

Steph: "Zaza got me thinkin' everything's gonna be alright. I believe in you, you can accomplish anything you want in this life." "

"I knew the perc was fake But I still ate it because I'm a gremlin Shit had me fucked up in the crib looking up pictures of dogs with human eyes"

Jason: "Rome wasn't built in a day, but this 9mm certainly was."

"Boy wanted some clout, I put him on the news and turned him into a real superstar"

"Fuck it, I ate the Opp."

Tim: "Beat his ass and sent him into an improvement cycle."

"Get the president on the phone now I fronted him a brick, I need my money"

Damian: "My impulsive nature causes conflict at any given time. "I can't help but get thrown into a violent trance at the slightest hint of criticism or pushback"

Duke: "Got the registered God Particle on my hip." "

"I'm back to back with God, shaking the fucking universe. This is an army of two"

Jean-Paul: "58% THC pre-rolled joints rolled in keef had me reading the book of Revelations. We are indeed close"

"Slowly faded into darkness and I let the archangels take him"

(@library-bat-girl helped with this one!)

[thatgenericwriter]

Womp || Gregory House

Gregory House x fem!reader

your sub for the day is hot but that's not gonna stop you from fucking with him

0.7k words

contains swearing

p.s. takes place during the Three Stories ep and based on a request by anonymous

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈•༶

"Wrong snake?"

"We tried every other antivenin we had."

"We’re too late?"

"Yep. He’s dying. His wife’s here, finally found a babysitter. Who wants to let him know? Actually, I’m kidding."

"He’s not dying?"

"Oh, yeah, he’s dying, but there’s no wife and kid. Which is great. Makes the “breaking the news” thing way easier. Oh, yeah, one mor-"

"Womp fucking womp."

You watch as the whole group turns towards your seat. The shocked looks on their faces are priceless. You were tired of listening to your idiot classmates go back and forth with your sub and needed to intervene before you died of boredom.

"Well, class it looks like someone here has their own enlightening opinions about these cases." House leans back against your teacher's desk and looks at you expectantly. "Care to share with the group?"

Sitting up straight in your desk you give him a small smirk before stating said opinions. "Its obvious that the drug addicted, sad sack of shit is you. And that those leg pains were the cause of what I'm guessing to be an aneurysm that clotted, leading to an infarction."

You watch as House's cocky demeanor slowly evaporates from him leaving him and the whole class speechless.

"Am I right, or am I right?"

Your shit eating grin causes House to limp over to your desk. He leans over it moving closer to your face. You can't help but glance at his lips hoping he doesn't notice, but of course he does. He returns you that same shit eating grin as he leans in even closer.

Your noses are practically touching before he leans back and turns to the class. "Class! Let's see if little miss know it all can tell us what is wrong with our other two patients!" He glances behind you briefly before turning his attention back to you expectantly.

"I'm guessing by your pathetic attempt to intimidate me I was right about the patient being you." You hear snickering behind you and you turn slightly to see three doctors in lab coats sitting in the back row of the lecture hall, you're guessing their House's fellows. You turn back to House, now with an even bigger crowd filled with actual doctors it's time to make your knowledge known.

"It's obvious by this point that it was not a snake that bit the first patient. I'm guessing that if he was willing to go through life threating treatments that he must be protecting something or someone. And since you made it clear that he was a sad, lonely man it must be man's best friend."

You look around the room at your classmates' confused faces and let out a sigh of disappointment. "His dog guys. His dog bit him."

A round of "oh" goes around the room as you look to House for confirmation. He slightly nods his head in agreement and for you to continue.

"Finally the volleyball player. The simplest one honestly. Cancer. She has an osteosarcoma, a cancerous tumor in her femur."

You sit back and look at House waiting for him to tell you your right. Instead, he shakes his head at you and limps back to your teacher's desk. "You're wrong!"

"No, I'm not."

He sits down on your teacher's chair behind the desk and you can see him rubbing his thigh aggressively. "Yes, you are." You're about to argue back when you hear another voice chime in behind you.

"She's right House."

"Yeah, you're just jealous that she's smarter than you."

"It's about time someone put you in your place."

House's fellows surround your desk and start asking you questions about how you knew the answer to each case. You happily chatted along with them, answering and asking your own questions until House's voice interrupted you.

"Are you busy Monday?"

Everyone turns to look at him confused.

"No?"

He gives you another cocky smile and leans his arms against the desk.

"Great I'll see you in my office at 8 am sharp for your first day."

And with that, he stands up and leaves the room throwing a quick 'class dismissed' over his shoulder.

You stare at his back, jaw slack, before turning to his fellows who all share the same dumbstruck look.

I guess you'll be seeing a lot more of your hot sub from now on.

[talesfromawannabewriter]

@beef-brisket

warning ⚠️: smut ahead, a bit descriptive

Lilith hummed in response as situated herself from where she lay in Satan’s arms. Lucifer had gone away for a few days in envy for an emergency of some sort. That meant it gave the two another excuse to fool around.

Lilith always did love when they did it in her own home. It made her feel like when she was in the garden. Only this time the stakes were much bigger since was deceiving the king of all Hell.

That just makes things a bit…juicy she would say.

She giggled as Satan started to lick her neck. His sandpaper tongue causing goosebumps.

Lilith: You know I should tell him about it, might give him something to do. Maybe even help with asserting his dominance. Not like he’s ever been good at that, the pathetic little man he is.

Satan: Hmm, does the translate for when you two are intimate.

He said taking a break from her neck and decided to get on her again. Lilith grinned wickedly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Lilith: Just between you and me, he’s better at taking orders than he is giving them.

Satan: Hehe, thought so. Now, want me to fuck you again you little bitch?

Lilith blushed but nodded. If anyone else had talked to her like that she would have killed them on the spot. But this wasn’t simply anyone.

This was her lover, her paramour.

Lilith gasped in pleasure at the feeling of his massive cock entering her tight hole. She moaned as he started to rock his hips against her.

Satan: Tell me I’m better than him.

Lilith: Your, your, your b, better!

Satan: How am I better?

Lilith: Your not a scrawny little twink for one!

Satan: Damn right! Say more!

Lilith: You take charge, you’re amazing!

Satan: Damn fucking straight!

Lilith: You make me see Heaven, not like him!

Satan: He’s boring isn’t he!?

Lilith: SO FUCKING BORING!!! I HATE HIM!

Satan: BET HE’S NEVER DONE THIS THEN!

He stopped for a second making Lilith cry out. She was so freaking close and she needed release. She let out a sigh as she felt not only him starting again but the feeling of his hot mouth on her bud.

She almost came alone just from him giving it a small bite. His tongue continued to circle around it while his dick kept pumping in and out of her. Her legs were raised high, her starting to curl as she felt the pressure start to build up like a damn ready to burst.

Satan: WHOSE MY BITCH!?

Lilith: YOURS IM YOURS!

With those words both of them immediately came. With Satan’s dick so large much of the jizz spilling out of the Queen. The sin of wrath slid right out of her and lay down.

Both of them were panting as they tried to catch their breath.

Lilith: That…was….amazing…like….always.

Lucifer: Im sure it was my dear.

The sound of Lucifer’s voice echoed throughout the bedchamber. The two demons screamed as they sat up and saw none other than the Morningstar himself leaning against the wall staring at them with a look that conspired of forlorn and anger.

The Sin of Lust

@beef-brisket

Adam knew deep down. He had his suspicions on what his wife was doing. Now he knew.

For the evidence was staring him right in the face a few yards away. There under the shade of the tree that held the forbidden fruit were Eve, Lucifer, and Lilith committing the act of carnal knowledge.

The past week Eve had been a bit distant. Always making excuses as to where she was and what she was doing. Deep down he had a feeling of who she was seeing.

She acted the same way Lilith had before she left.

Now Adam stared with dull eyes as Lucifer had his face and mouth on Eve’s vagina with the second woman moaning in pleasure. Lilith stood by and watched her lover take Eve as she bit her lips.

Her face held an expression he could not pronounce but knew what it was deep down. For a split second her amethyst gaze met his and she smirked. She had won.

She took his first time.

She took his angel.

and now she took Eve.

She had completely broken the first man.

In her mind that meant she won. But Adam wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of rubbing it in. Turning on his heels he left the women and Angel to their devices.

He was done. He was not going to stick around and be stuck in a marriage with someone who obviously doesn’t love him. He wasn’t going to let the angels make another wife only for her to fall for the charms of that snake.

In fact he wasn’t going to be fulfilling his duties as the future father of humanity. Or as the first man. Someone else can have it.

He wouldn’t live in a place where everywhere he turned he was reminded of betrayal. Even the spots that once held sweet memories soured.

Soon he had made it to his destination. After making sure the angels guarding the gates weren’t looking he crept towards the doors of Eden. Turning back one last time he said only one thing.

Adam: Goodbye.

With all his might he pushed the doors open and stepped out into the world before him. Unaware of the consequences that this act of defiance would have on his soul.

[hyohaehyuk]

Sam talks about Jacob being 'an exceptional person' and answers what would have happened if Dale interviewed Lestat and whether or not Dale and Louis would be "friends" in The Emsolation Podcast Extras!

Note: Unf this is not the complete video where he answears that question(s). I had to edit it with a few excerpts i found so it might not make much sense. if someone put the whole segment of this question(s) i will edit this with that video

Source: The Emsolation Podcast - Sam Reid talks the FINAL season of The Newsreader, urvampiregirls, loustatsoup, comeappraiseme and pixielayer

------

Him saying that he can't imagine Louis giving two f*cks about Dale 😞 Well the fanfics says otherwise 🙃 i am really surprised they didn't told im about the Louis x Dale fanfics on AO3 🤣

i cant find the tweet now but i swear that i saw someone one twitter saying that Michael Lucas and the lady in the video talked about it a few weeks ago in one of The Emsolation podcast eps.

Anyway, it's funny that Lestat possessed him both times: one (where Sam clearly was able to control him) where he was totally down to the idea of f*cking Dale and in the other where he cant stand the idea of Louis f*cking Dale (Lestat you fake poly. A cheater is what you are) I didn't believed 100% in the Lestat possession allegations until i watch this 🤯

[felswritingfire]

Homelander x Chaotic! Hyper Fem!Reader

The Homelander brainrot is real and I hate it with my whole being. I want this man dead, he's so pathetic. Anyway, I haven't watched The Boys but I'm hooked on his character thanks to falling down the rabbit hole with Character.Ai and all the talented writers for The Boys fandom, like? Absolutely scrumptious works. Also I just really wanted to write for a chaotic reader, the hyper fem part came after lmao

TW: This was written with a AFAB reader in mind so there's descriptions of Reader wearing a skirt, no pronouns specified; Homelander's creepiness is considerably toned down for this, but he does break into reader's apartment and actively stalks them; Reader says some saucy stuff; Cussing; Homelander has a panic attack/mental break down; Reader is a horny virgin; Age Gap, it's only mentioned once or twice, but it's still there and prevalent; Gen Z humor- reader is a Gen Z baby, they're in their early 20s

"You didn't tell me that Homelander had a slutty ass waist." The words caught him off guard. They were whispered. Somewhere in the crowd. His eyes fought to stay glued onto the press speaker, his smile twitching ever so slightly.  The comment had hung in his head, floating around like a phantom, even as he took the stage and did his speech perfectly. Like always. He preens as the people clap and cheer for him.  Then the voice chirps out, in the safety of the cheering and the noise: "Homelander? More like Sluttylander, am I right?" He hears a scoff after that, zeroing in on the conversation now: two women. No older than their mid 20s. "Hey, I mean that respectfully." "You know he's like 20 years older than you, right?" "I'll bend him over and make him call me daddy. I'm not a coward." A cackle. He had scanned the crowd while keeping a smile plastered on his lips. He was curious what foul mouth little shit was talking. Until his gaze lands on… you.  You look like the cat that got the cream as you look at your friend who has to hold onto you for support as she giggles and laughs. Your bright eyed gaze moves from her back to him just to tense as you catch his gaze. "Um," you elbow her- Renae- to get her attention and she giggles before she looks and she's freezing too. "He isn't looking at us is he?" She shrugs. "I don't know…" she trails off. You squint before covering your mouth with your hands, talking just loud enough for Renae to hear you but no one else. "Blink twice if you can hear us." It was a joke. There's no way- And then he's blinking. Once. Twice.  "Oh bitch-tits." You want to scream, grabbing Renae's wrist, pushing through the crowd. "Fuck, dude, this is going to be my thirteenth reason, I swear to fuck-"  He watches the two of you go. He shouldn't be interested. You're just some snot nosed kid. But… how you spoke, the chaotic-ness of it all. The way the light caught your hair, the curves of your body, the way that skirt flares up as you scurry away... he's intrigued to say the least…

💫 Homelander wasn't normally so… interested in the general public, but he had been quick to commit your face and voice to memory. He had actually stumbled upon you, finding out you worked at some high-end retail job. You dealt with snooty people and all the while kept up that pretty little customer service smile despite the clear signs of barely concealed frustration searing under your skin. He could smell the heat of your blood and watched you through the building's walls when you went on break and sat down stiffly, just to scream into your hands. It started out as something funny because he found your misery amusing and then the descent into madness started.

💫 It was like he went through the five stages of grief. At first he had convinced himself that he keeps watching you out of sheer amusement. And then he started to take in more pieces of you: how you took care of things you treasure; how you cared and cooed at the plants that were in your house; how you talked to that damn fish that your treasured so much; your little mannerisms- things he started to find… cute. Then it was denile: no he didn't find you cute he found you amusing. He laughed when you seethed about your toast burning; how you had a breakdown as soon as you got off work because the crushing weight of living in a capitalistic society came crashing down on you; how you talked to yourself like you were having a full blown conversation with another person- you were amusing. And then came the realization and then rage: how dare you make him feel like this? You were just a sniveling little thing. He was a god. How dare you? And then came acceptance. He was… casual when he accepted it. Like all the turmoil had fallen off his shoulders. He was watching you, taking in how you nurtured your "plant children", how you talked to them and wiped the dust off their leaves. It made his heart flutter.

💫 After that, his casual viewings become much more of a time investment as he pays closer and closer attention to you. Every waking moment he has when he's not busy juggling the press and Vought, is spent watching you. Taking in information and storing it in his brain for safe keeping: what you like to eat; your favorite type of plant; your dream vacation; what type of fish you have (you have a betta. He searched them up. He learned all about them to feel closer to you). 

💫 Soon enough, observing isn't enough. He starts to go into your apartment when you're not home, looking at the coziness of your space. Taking in the scent and looking at your plants and your Betta fish that flares his gills at him. It makes him snort in amusement. How cute. He'll lay on your bed, shoving his face into your pillows and inhaling deeply, moaning in contentment. 

💫 He also starts to "coincidentally" run into you on the streets. He finds it so funny each time you gawk at him. A "holy fuck!" Leaving you as you gesture wildly, "it's fucking Homelander!" 

○ He's not too keen on your potty mouth, but he supposes he can let it slide. He's just as bad.

💫 He smiles his charming little smile as he'll make small talk with you, his hands on his hips as he takes you in. He loves knowing how much stronger he is than you and he has to fight hard to keep from popping a boner. You're so fun to talk to, you say the most out of pocket things:

"Yeah, like, almost got stabbed by a homeless man today. Like, 0/10 would not recommend." You said, looking at your nails. Frowning about the nail polish already chipping. "Yeah, well, not many people put 'being stabbed' at the top of their list of things to happen to them." He replies with a laugh, moving closer to you, taking in that mellow perfume you wear. "I mean, I'm down for knife play, but I'm a classy slut. You have to take me to dinner first." He's flabbergasted. He loves it.

💫 He begins to insert himself into your life, taking up more and more of your free time, you don't even notice it at first. How he just… starts spending time at your home. How you two begin a ritual of movie night every Saturday (he forced Vought to make that day his off day. He was not to be called under any circumstance short of the world going to implode on itself). You have so many emotions in that body of yours and he finds it amusing when you gasp or a look of disgust crosses your face at something a character did. You'd be horrible at poker.

"What the fu-" He has an easy smile on his face as he wraps his arm around your shoulders and places his hand over your mouth. Not threateningly. More playful than anything. You simply hold onto his hand with both of yours as you watch the screen. 

💫 You catch him off guard all the time. Your girly appearance gives nothing away to the chaotic tendencies. You were the closest thing to an actual agent of chaos he's seen. He once watched you, while you were with that little friend of yours- Renae- run across the street as a group of men cat called you, swinging your purse at high velocity speed, yelling: "I'll fucking end your bloodline!" The men were terrified and scurried off screaming "crazy bitch!" You had given Renae a thumbs up, proud of yourself. He also watched you steal a pro-life abortion sign "saying Jesus wouldn't want this" and javelin throwing it into someone's backyard pool before bolting down the street, cackling. Both times in heels. Both times he was weirdly turned on. 

💫 He likes how girly you dress. He loves it actually. He loves all the soft pastel colors you wear and the pleated skirts. It makes you look soft and delicate and he's obsessed with it. He has a tendency to pull at the hem of your skirt, flick it up slightly. You just give him a dead stare and lift up your skirt. "Shorts, bitch." You do it every time and he thinks it's funny.

💫 He hates that you're home screen is a collage of Soldier Boy with that stupid cursive font saying: "my daddy is super dead, but he could still hit it <;3". He hates it and then your lock screen is of your fish.

"Why do you have that?" He asks with disdain.  "What?" She asks looking up at him. He rolls his eyes. "Don't play stupid. Why is he your wallpaper? He's dead. He's been dead." Sure, that was his hero but like hell he wanted to see that man's charming smirk on your homescreen. "Soldier Boys is hot." You say it with all the seriousness of someone telling a prophecy. Homelander's eye twitches. "And I'm not." "No. You are. With your slutty waist." She assures him. "But Soldier Boy is the OG daddy." He scoffs. 

● He ends up stealing your phone later on when you're not looking and changing the wallpaper himself, having memorized your password.

💫 For as flirty and raunchy your mind was, you were oddly freaked out of genuine touch. The first time he tried to make a move on you, you screamed and almost gave yourself a concussion with how you fell over the arm of the couch. He was stunned until you explained you had issues with romantic touch. "Daddy issues, am I right?" She tries to play it off with a laugh. He is not laughing. Later, though, he starts to find it amusing, taking the chance to make you squirm and blush is so funny to him. He revels in your pain and embarrassment.

● He has killed people who had done the same. Like, actually snapped a guy's neck for it.

💫 He is NOT thrilled when you talk about wanting to rail fictional characters. He actually gets pouty. Genuinely gets pissy. He tries to ban you from watching anime.

"But. Toji hot." "I don't care if 'Toji hot'. He spits. "Toji is a fictional character. You need a real man that knows how to please you." You look at him, eating a spoonful of cereal despite his protests about eating it so late. You chew slowly and swallow. "Toji's got that potent dad nut. It works, John." Homelander practically chokes on his spit at that.

💫 He lets you call him John. He likes when you call him John. Call him John.

💫 He actually tries to be better for you because you've voiced how you didn't like when people get hurt. He tries. Key word tries to be more aware, to be a better person. Just for you. 

💫 Absolutely goes insane if you praise him. It's all he wants and all her craves. You've casually complimented him once and he's latched onto it ever since. He's infatuated with your praise. He's like a puppy, looking to you after he did a good deed, looking to you when he does a chore right. It's almost better than sex for him. Almost.

💫 He's elated when you let him lay in your lap. Despite how squeamish you were about sex, you craved physical touch and, guess what? So does he! He's obsessed with laying down and taking in your sweet scent, your fingers playing with his hair as you scroll through your phone. He adores the casual touches you leave on him, adore every time you hang onto his arm. He knows you don't mean anything romantic, but it still fills a hole to have a genuine companion that cares about him in his life. 

💫 You've helped him after a breakdown, when his mind felt like it was splitting and his ego was taking in a mind of its own- and then there you were. In all your pretty, pastel colored and pleated skirt glory.

"John?" You say softly, not approaching him just yet. Giving him the space he needs. "Do you need a hug?" He's breathing hard. He didn't know why he came to your apartment. He thought he was going back to his penthouse in Vought towers. But no. Here he was. And you're standing there, confused about your pretty features. The chaotic side of you is completely gone for the moment. He just stares at you. Of course you'd run to some bitch. A voice hisses in his head. We're a god among men and you come crawling to some fucking-  He squeezes his eyes shut. Your eyes soften. "Come on." You say, your voice soft and gently. A soft coo to him. "Let's sit you down." You open the door wider for him and he trudges in, looking completely drained. He sinks into your couch and you disappear into your room and come out with a fuzzy blanket. The one you wrap around the two of you have movie night. You drape it over him, gently. "It's ok, sweetheart," you say. "I don't know what's happening but you're safe now." He almost scoffs. No one could touch him. He was The Homelander. But… how you said it. It made his chest ache with something heavy. "Can… Can you hold me?" He practically whispers. "Of course, honey." You open your arms up for him. He immediately melts into your hold, his head pressing against the crook of your neck, his hands desperately clinging to the back of your shirt. He sucks in a breath of your scent before he breaks, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as his sobs into you.  He's not a pretty crier. But who is? You run your hand through his hair. Your cheek resting against his head. It feels strange to see a man that could be your father break down. But you had a feeling he was a mess on the inside. All that bravado and charisma making up for an abysmal childhood.  It takes him a while to calm down. His puffy eyes blinking, his blue eyes glassy, he sniffles.  "Oh, sweetie," you coo, swiping your thumb under his eyes to wipe the tear streaks away. "You look like a mess." You say softly, not to make fun of him. Just to state an obvious fact. He sniffles, glaring at you.  You smile at him and he melts.

💫 He won't let you paint his nails, but he wants to paint your nails. He has a pension for picking colors related to him. You make fun of him for it. 

💫 He lets you put accessories in his hair. ONLY when it's movie night. He did accidentally go to a meeting with a hair clip that has rhinestones that spelt 'JUICY' on it. The Seven stayed silent and he was embarrassed as hell when he saw it in the mirror of the window.

💫 HE IS ACTUALLY TRAUMATIZED WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT HE WEARS A BODYSUIT OH MY GOD. HE SUFFERS. THAT'S HOW YOU GET HIM BACK FOR MESSING WITH YOUR FLUSTEREDNESS.

"What's up, my cute stick bug." "Shut the fuck up."  You are the only person allowed to poke fun at him about that. Anyone else would get obliterated.

💫 If you involve him in picking out your outfits, he has hit Nirvana. He has truly seen heaven. He actually has a pretty solid eye for clothes. But he will take the opportunity to coordinate an outfit that has colors that compliment his hero outfit. If you notice, he'll play dumb.

💫 Anyway, congratulations, you have an OP friend. Until he isn't content with just being friends any more….

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to support me consider donating to my Ko-fi!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Jumpscared myself cause i forgot i was doodling bdsm outfit charles last night and this is a really bad thing to forget you were doing when you decide to draw in public

[waynes-multiverse]

Oh, for sure they shipped that kid off to Mrs. Brooks as soon as she fainted. Ben probably threw him outta the car on the way home lol. And he had definitely developed a hatred for the bedroom door 😂🩷

snorts What a good comeback, though surprised Ben acknowledged that so easily. 😝

Haha I actually gave Rehab a reread to get a feel for them again, and he grew increasingly more self-deprecating toward the end 😆 (He also knows that arguing about this with his wife who literally knows would be useless lol)

God I'm so relieved!! You had me going there for a while. 😭 But with your promise of a happy ending here I held onto my seat and kept calm.

Honestly, my heart couldn't have taken it either after everything I've put them through 🙈💕

Also I love that eating enough to feed a small army was part of her recuperation lolll. Talk about ravenous -- but I have a feeling she's craving something else now. 😏❤️‍🔥

Bahaha yes, it's been a while for both of them 😏 At least she's not a supe anymore, and Ben can relax a little more 😂🔥

LOLL honestly I'm kind of with him on that one. Why is everything labelled a "kink" nowadays? 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, so true! Thank you gramps for saying what we can't 😂 (But seriously, breeding kink used to be just baby fever. Like, am I wrong??? lol)

Wayne omggg! Seeing your note at the end, I DO remember sending you that Ask!! I'm so happy to see it done here because it's absolutely perfect for these two and this moment. Thank you for using the idea! 🥹💓 Deep down, Gramps just wants to be made love to, and you gave him his heart's desire. 😘

So happy you enjoyed what I did with it! Thank you so much for giving me that prompt, Alex!! I really could see this for them, especially since they've been more on the wilder, experimental side, so this was a nice switch and they seemed to both really need that. Not me getting sappy explaining goddamn smut lmao 😭😭

*snorts* 🤭😏 I see you, Wayne.

Also on brand that he'd be such an ungrateful whiny sourpuss on his birthday. 🙄

Ikr? 😂 And I genuinely think it was all the reasons you mentioned. Getting older, being over birthdays in general because it's been goddamn too many, and then no super blow job?! Tsk, poor man-child...

YES. I have this headcanon too, that this is the only way to manipulate him into doing what you want. Especially when he's being a prima donna. 🤣

Hahaha totally! This is why we're still the smarter gender, even though we forget feminism with SB 🤣🤣

GOD he's so dumb for this loll. That's actually a really cute way to tell hubby you have a bun in the oven. 🥹

I broke down laughing writing this because I could see him totally not catching on 😂😂 (Also when has that man actually ever seen a pregnancy test from this century? lol)

But I thought the idea was sweet. I've seen a couple of people do this in reels over the years, and men generally take forever to read a test correctly (and its implications lol). I swear the video I made of my husband still makes me laugh so hard because he had no fucking clue what I was trying to tell him 🤣🤣

(And I have a few more drabbles planned for them, including Benny 🥰)

Thank you so much for reading and all your sweet comments, friend!! 🥹🩵🩷 I honestly can't wait for a little reading break after this and dive into your HC about Man Flu because I feel that title in my bones lmfao 😂

Lover – Part 3

Series Summary: Free from his past, Ben’s trying to move on and find a little drop of happiness in this new world. But when he finally holds everything he ever wanted in his hands, it threatens to slip through the cracks, and he has to fight one final time with everything he’s got to keep it.

🫡 Catch up here! Sequel to Rehab & Video Games.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female!Reader

Warnings: 18+ due to language & mature themes, established relationship, Soldier Boy x wife!reader, human!Soldier Boy, the fluffiest of fluff, the smuttiest of smut (watch out for the breeding kink lol) 😉

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day to you all, loves! 💕 Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments over the last few days. I've seen and appreciate them all and will catch up with you guys over the weekend 🥰 For now, excuse this poor mama, 'cause she is fucking beat 😂

Enjoy the happy end 🩵

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Part 3: Lovestruck

Three fucking days he had waited in front of that goddamn door.

He slept in front of that door, ate in front of that door, and he silently panicked in front of that door. He hated that fucking door, had raging murder fantasies about it, but he never, ever opened said fucking door, no matter how much his fingers were twitching. Mostly because every time his hand did wrap around the knob, she’d yell at him to ‘stay the fuck out.’

Ben only unwillingly complied.

But when the quiet came and all other noises stopped, he finally dared to set a foot inside. The bedroom looked normal, even if disarrayed – but the bathroom surely needed a fucking remodel.

All that remained of their bathtub was a solidified puddle of acrylic. There was also a hole in the floor – burned right through the tiles. He’d wondered why it’d been so cold in there till he'd noticed the giant hole in the wall too that gave a perfect view of their backyard. But he found Y/N resting and curled up on the cool, white tiles – alive.

His heart might have fucking soared higher than an eagle.

When Ben asked her how she felt, she only replied with “Like I fucking survived D-Day.”

At that, Ben had snorted and said, “At least one of us did.”

And when they were both sure the worst was over and she wouldn’t turn the car into bubbling liquid as well, Ben finally drove her to a hospital. She was still weak, mostly from not eating a thing in four days. The doctors thought she must’ve had a severe case of the flu, gave her an IV drip with plenty of nutrients, and then released her after a few tests.

She’s been exhausted since then, drifting in and out of dreamland as he holds her in his embrace. She begins to stir again, and soon enough, she glances tiredly up at him through her eyelashes and gives him a lazy smile when she realizes he’s still here, exactly where he was hours ago when she last woke up.

“How late is it?” she asks and stretches a little in his arms but only ends up snuggling closer to him.

“Close to three,” he replies, and judging by the darkness outside their bedroom window, she guesses he doesn’t mean in the afternoon. “How are you feeling?”

Y/N almost breaks a smile. She can’t remember if he had ever asked this much about her well-being before. Her little brush with death might have shaken his steeled core more than she’d initially figured, and her heart swells slightly at the thought.

Sometimes, she still thinks he only keeps her around because he doesn’t know any better. It’s like getting an abused dog from the shelter – you never know if they really love you or if they only tolerate you because you’re nice enough to feed them.

He’s a creature of habit, after all.

But the affection and genuine worry gleaming in his pine green eyes tells her he might see more in her than that – whatever the hell that is.

“Better.” She nods, letting her fingers trace patterns around the golden freckles on his chest. Much better, she thinks as she feels the familiar heat pool between her legs. She bites down on her lower lip and presses herself closer to his perfectly toned and muscular body. It’s been too long since she’s worshipped every fucking glorious inch of him. “I think the fried chicken and noodles helped,” she adds with a small grin.

He chuckles – but not at her words. He can feel how she’s rubbing her thighs together now to get a little friction.

“Oh, I’m sure the burger, fries, sushi, and tacos helped, too,” he teases her. He came this close to entering her in one of those eating competitions as he watched her empty take-out container after container.

“Don’t forget the churros.” She giggles, and on cue, she rolls fully on top of him and straddles his waist, spreading featherlight kisses along the paths her fingers trailed.

“Not surprising. I already know how much you can stuff in that fucking mouth, doll.” Ben’s wide smirk is full of pride, and it causes her to giggle.

To make his point even clearer, his massive hands smooth down her sides and grip the globes of her ass, grinding her core against his proudly standing member. She mewls into the crook of his neck when she feels how fucking hard he is already. He lets out a grunt that carries the same desperate need to be inside of her as two of his thick fingers delve into her tight channel without much of a warning.

“Fucking drenched,” he mutters appreciatively as she arches her back with another moan on top of him. His free hand winds itself in her hair, giving it a slight tug that parts her lips with a pleasurable hiss as he drags her closer to his face. His amusement doesn’t fade, though, nor do his fingers in her pussy as he works her into a frenzy. “Sure you’re ready enough for the big guns, baby girl?”

She giggles breathily at his relentless teasing. “I’m literally about to come any second now,” she replies, soon followed by a harsh bite of her lip when his calloused thumb finds her clit. “Fuck…”

“Oh, I don’t think you fucking are.” Ben smirks and withdraws his fingers from her heat in the same breath. He laughs a little when she falls against his chest with a whimper of real loss.

Her hand finds his length between their burning bodies and wraps around it, already dragging his tip through her dripping folds. But Ben only entertains her plans for a second before snatching her wrist and pulling her away from him.

She whines this time and looks up at him. “Dear God, what do you want?” A laugh rumbles through his chest at the exasperation on her face. “I’ll do anything you want, anywhere you want. Just tell me. What’s Soldier Boy’s deepest, darkest fantasy, huh?”

Ben knows she’s teasing him, and a smile of amusement twitches on his lips, but a part of him actually seriously considers her question.

“What?” Her brow knits curiously as she observes the contemplative purse of his pillowy lips. “It’s okay. You can tell me,” she assures him and grins cheekily. “How fucking dirty is it?”

Ben swipes his tongue over his teeth and subtly swallows the lump in the back of his throat. He doesn’t reply instantly, however, pulling her ear to his lips as he whispers his little wish.

When he’s done, she blinks at him in surprise (and a hint of amusement). She certainly hasn’t expected that, but she places a loving kiss on his lips. The asshole can be charmingly sweet once in a blue moon.

“You sure about that?” she checks, but her tone is more than a little teasing. “There’s a lot of kinks to pick from.”

“Why does your generation always have to label fucking everything? It’s fucking sex. That’s it.” He huffs a bit too defensively, and she tries her best to muzzle her laugh. “What’s fucking wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” she assures him, giggling, and tries to soothe the furious lines of offense on his brow with little kisses. “It’s just surprising. It’s usually what super-old, married couples do.”

“Well, there you go,” he retorts. “I’m super fucking old and married. You’re gonna keep fucking chit-chatting or are you gonna do it now?”

“Fine, I’ll make love to you,” she relents with a smirk as she voices his little secret out loud.

“Jesus fuck!” He throws his head back into the pillow with a theatric eye roll.

His patience has run out. He grabs her fast and rough and flips them both over in a blink of an eye, her back landing in the plush mattress with a bubble of giggles. His weight presses down on her and deliciously threatens to squeeze the air from her lungs.

“Let me show you how it’s fucking done, my love,” Ben says with a cocky smile and begins to ravage a path of destruction down her throat. She’s sure she’ll be more colorful than a rainbow in the morning.

His teeth nib on her skin, hands pawing at the only clothing item that still covers her body from him, soon tearing the shirt over her head. His mouth stops attacking her clavicle then, green eyes focusing on her tits with a rising smirk.

“There’s my girls. Daddy’s home…”

Before she can even reply with a laugh at his comment, his mouth is swallowing her left tit, tongue roughly swirling over her nipple till it peaks against his wet muscle. She moans and arches off the mattress when his other hand massages, palms, and squeezes her other breast with the same fervent hunger.

Her hands find purchase on his strong upper arms, bicep flexing underneath her pads. His mouth devoutly licks lower and lower down her belly. She can feel his smirk rise against her skin the further he travels before his tongue dives straight into her folds.

“Fuck!” Her hips instantly buck forward, everything below her belly button clenching at the welcome intrusion.

And God, that man is skilled when it comes to sex. If he takes nothing else in his life seriously, this is his goddamn Olympics. He always gives it his all, just aiming for that gold medal over and over again.

It’s why she honestly forgives him for most of the shit he does or says, and she’s pretty sure he knows it, too.

His arms wrap around her thighs and pull her even closer against his sinful mouth. Her ankles cross behind his head, calves resting on those broad shoulders that seem to be made just for that purpose. Her toes tease his scalp, scratch the back of his head that cause little groans of his against her center that sound both submissive and primal, as if it's the most natural thing to give his everything to her.

His nose deliciously rubs her clit, and then the bastard fucking inhales and sucks the air right out of her when his lips seal around her bundle of nerves. She cries out his name, her cunt clenching with aching emptiness.

“Don’t worry. I know what you need,” Ben hums against her mound and shoves two thick fingers into her wet channel. “So fucking tight. You think you can take three? It’s been a while. Gotta get you into shape again…”

Fucking Olympics.

His digits then pump her so purposefully, mouth sucking her so religiously, she soon soars so fucking high she can see fucking Cupid himself. Her head falls back into the clouds when that fucking arrow hits, and she falls apart under his binding spell.

She thinks she might have passed out there for a second or two. When she steals a glance south, he still works her zealously through her glorious high as her pussy grips his fingers so tight she’s baffled they don’t break.

If she still had been a supe, they would’ve have.

And my God, she knows Ben’s never wasteful, not with his drugs nor with her arousal, but the way his tongue cleans her and licks his own fingers reaches a new level of obscenity she hasn’t witnessed before.

He acts like he’s been fucking parched for decades, and her juices are the elixir of life.

Then, when there's not a drop left to drink, and only then, does he decide to resurface with the laziest and proudest fucking smirk she’s ever seen. He leans so close to her face their foreheads touch, and she can smell her own scent in his glistening beard before he makes her taste herself, too.

“You’re still the same shithead.” She smirks breathlessly, her tits heaving as she breaks from the kiss. His chuckles fill her soul. She cards her fingers through his beard and brushes the hair back that falls into his mesmerizingly green eyes. “You’re gonna make love to me now?”

A smile widens on his plump and swollen lips, even at the hint of teasing in her voice, but he doesn’t respond with words, only nods and claims her lips in a blazing kiss. He angles his hips between her thighs then and spreads her legs further apart as they secure around his middle.

His lips leave hers and force her eyes open, staring straight into his. There’s an abundance of devotion and love in the lush greens that fill her heart. He makes her fucking feel it – every goddamn thing she is to him.

She feels his love when their fingers interlace and he pins them above her head. She feels his dedication with every thick, long inch he pushes inside of her. And she feels his fucking loyalty with each deliberate stroke.

He doesn’t rush, even keeps the dirty talk to a minimum. This is just for her.

It’s his fucking Olympics.

But most of all, she sees their vows shimmering in his eyes and knows he’ll never fucking break them.

“I love you,” she moans breathily into his ear, wounding herself tighter around him. She’s fucking close, ready for that next arrow with his name on it to pierce right through her heart.

He smirks a little in response, like he’s been waiting to hear it first. “Trust me. I fucking love you more,” he says, voice husky and thick with love. He emphasizes his promise with a snap of his hips, driving his cock right against her cervix. “Gonna pump a full fucking load deep into that little pussy till you’re fucking knocked up with a whole litter.”

Fucking shit. That should not turn her on as much as it does, but it’s hard to goddamn deny it when she comes right then and there as soon as he’s finished that filthy sentence.

“That’s it. Fucking milk my cock,” Ben rasps into her ear and feels his balls tighten when her pussy quakes around his shaft. “Like a fucking faucet,” he murmurs appreciatively and sucks marks into her neck. He’s missed making her his work of art, too.

When he spills his seed into her, hot and raw, he ensures their eye contact never breaks. He wants her to see what she’s fucking doing to him, how he falls apart just for her, too.

Two months later…

“What the fuck is taking you so long?” Ben stretches his neck and tries to peer into the kitchen. He begrudgingly eyes the green, glittery party hat on the dining table in front of him. “‘M not putting the fucking hat on, by the way.”

“Dude, you think it’s fucking easy lighting 108 candles on a fucking cake?” she retorts from the kitchen with a bit of bite before she strolls out with a sort of wonky buttercream cake, but the smile on her face is even brighter than the million candles.

“There’s no fucking way you put 108 candles on there,” Ben scoffs and grumpily crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back with a creak in his chair.

He’s been a bit of a party pooper all day. It also didn’t help when their son pointed that out at breakfast.

However, Ben probably shouldn’t have replied with: “Yeah, you would be too if your wife said no to blow.”

And yup, you bet your ass he woke her up bright and early in the morning, requesting she’d lick the snow off his dick. He’d termed it a super blow job and was rather disappointed when she'd declined.

“No, but I managed to get 53 on there, so it’s an A for effort,” she replies patiently. God, she needs so much fucking patience every day, but especially today.

“What fucking hippie school did you go to, huh?” Ben huffs and only encounters an annoyed frown when he looks at her.

“Blow out your fucking candles and make your wish, caveman,” she orders him dryly.

With a pissy eye roll, he does, puffing the life out of each little flame. “Are we fucking done with this now?”

Just then, the oven timer goes off, and Y/N straightens in the seat across from him.

“Uh, almost,” she says. “Got something in the oven. Can you check?”

“It’s my fucking birthday. How about you check yourself?” he retorts like a fucking princess.

“Ben, c’mon, I just spent six hours in the kitchen, baking you that cake,” she argues.

“Surprising it took six hours for this fucking thing,” Ben mutters, and she’s about to goddamn choke him.

Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue…

“Baby, please, my feet hurt really bad.” She pouts, and he finally gets up with a deep sigh. She smiles wickedly.

“The oven isn’t even fucking on!” Ben yells soon from the kitchen. “And there’s nothing fucking inside!”

“Are you sure?” she acts as best as she can. “I thought I put something on the baking sheet.”

She listens to the clattering metal before a beat of silence follows. She’s sure his brows are densely knit in confusion (and frustration) at this point.

“What the fuck is this? Why would you put a fucking plastic stick in there?” The question finishes when he returns to the dining room, a small, white stick still in hand. He then holds it to his nose. “Why the fuck does it smell like piss?”

“Because I fucking peed on it,” she responds but sees he’s still not fully catching on.

“Ew! Why the fuck would you put that in the fucking oven?!” His brow furrows so comically she tries her hardest to stifle her laughter.

God, she hopes the kid gets her brains.

“Why is there a fucking smiley on it?”

“Because you’re supposed to be fucking happy, you moron,” she says.

“Why would I be fucking happy over a piss stick? Not exactly the fucking Rolex I wanted, is it?”

“Ben.”

His green eyes narrow at her and then blink. “Wait…”

“Yup.”

“Are you–“

“Yup.”

The stick in his hand drops to the floor before he scoops her up into his arms so fast she feels slightly dizzy from the motion. Happily, her legs wrap around his waist and arms lock behind his neck. She kisses him deeply, and he kisses her back with the same passionate devotion.

He squeezes his eyes shut a little tighter, forcing the tears to stay in, but she can still see the remnants of them when she draws back from his lips.

“I’m pregnant,” she says in case he still needed the verbal confirmation.

“Best fucking birthday ever,” he replies, swallowing the fucking lump in his dry throat.

She grins mischievously. “Told you it would be a good one, but no super blow jobs for a while.”

He snorts a chuckle. “Got it. I’ll take the regular ones, too.”

Ben once used to hate everything, his heart, much like the Grinch’s, a few sizes too small for anything else. But now, there’s barely enough space in his chest to contain it all. These days, he certainly considers himself a lover of all things life has to fucking offer.

The End 💕

Didn't I fucking say I would fix it?! Well, there ya go! Sid and Nancy got a happy end 🌅❣️

Do you guys think Ben wished for a baby or a fucking Rolex when he blew out those candles? 😂

(@zepskies 💜 – Not sure you remember this, but you sent me this ask for Dirty Drabbles about a year ago lol: What if Ben's girlfriend/wife/partner agrees to help fulfill one of his dirty fantasies. She's fully prepared for it to be insane (a la Ben), but what he requests is actually something surprisingly sweet (in its own way lol) And I immediately had this for this miniseries in mind! It fit those two perfectly!! 🥰🫶)

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[lady-green-sleeves]

It’s actually hilarious how freaked out people are over the whole Daemon dreamfucking his mom thing😂

Like don’t get me wrong I agree the writers are cowards and should have made him dreamfuck his brother instead but oh well we can’t win them all (or majority of them with this show)

I personally think it was funny and it’s even funnier the targ stans who have sm other incest ships and are grossed out by this and think it was too far

People who are fans of the incest show when the incest show has incest that’s not the specific flavor of incest that they wanted:

[girlivealwaysbean]

mann im going to get my blood reports tomorrow and im lwk scared

[the-red-hoodlum]

killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.

[michaelthejesse]

Guys. Mini/chibi style Soap + realistic monster Ghost.

Ngl listening to Connors hostage theme while drawing spooky monster ghost is something else. Baller tho.

Also, should I make el spookie dookie Ghost an AU? It’d be funky and I kinda wanna do more art of Ghost like that