#it’s okay cassian is scared of jyn and everyone else is scared of cassian it’s the prefect situation for them both | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kanerallels · 3 years ago

Note

May I request a Jyn and Cassian ficlet with the prompts 'princess carry' and 'pain'? *Grinning like a child asking Santa for a puppy for Christmas*

*grins back in evil author*

Pairing: Jyn Erso x Cassian Andor

Word Count: 2,525

Tags/Warnings: T rated (for too much angst for one precious boy. Kidding. It's for blood and angst)

Cassian had been working undercover missions for years now. He found them relatively easy-- slipping into another person’s skin, wearing their identity, acting like someone else. Some days, it was easier than being who he really was.

Things were different now, though. He’d usually been alone, before Jedha and the Death Star. Before he found his crew. Before Jyn.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he glanced at his companion. Jyn strolled at his side, occasionally moving away to examine a stall or two, and was dressed in simple but warm clothing. The two of them were masquerading as a couple shopping on Hays Minor as they made their way to where their contact was waiting. Although it wasn’t as if it was all part of the mission.

Cassian didn’t know for sure how Jyn felt about him. He knew they were close. He knew that he told her things that he was barely able to admit to himself, and that he was the only one she would ever break down in front of (with the possible exception of Chirrut. But everyone could be honest with Chirrut). But they’d never really talked about anything. Barely even done anything, other than one kiss a few months before. But it had been in the name of not blowing their cover, which barely counted.

The fact was, they were both so busy. Running, hiding, fighting the Empire, collecting intelligence against them-- all of it consumed their days. It was hard to find a restful moment, and those were usually spent on sleep.

Maybe we should talk, Cassian thought as Jyn paused at a stall, pretending to admire the wares. Eventually. If we ever get the time.

But now is definitely not the time. Pushing aside the thoughts, he moved to Jyn’s side and offered her his arm. “Ready for something warm to drink?” he asked.

Flashing a wide smile that Cassian knew was fake, Jyn looped her arm through his. “I thought you’d never ask,” she said.

They made their way down the street together. As soon as they were out of earshot of the stall, Cassian said in a low voice, “Fulcrum’s agent is just down that street. She should have the intel we’re looking for.”

Jyn nodded, her expression returning to its usual focus. “Let’s get this done. I really need some rest.”

“Didn’t sleep last night again?” Cassian asked, pausing by a stall of hand-woven textiles to let an Imperial patrol go by.

Picking up a scarf, Jyn pretended to admire it as she said, “As if you did.”

She had a point there.

“Nightmares?” Jyn guessed, and a small sigh escaped Cassian’s lips.

“Always. Scarif this time.”

“Mine were on Lah’mu.”

The planet she and her family had lived on for years, before Krennic had found them. Which meant it had been a bad one. Catching sight of a stall selling hot drinks, Cassian moved over to it and pulled out a few credits, handing them to the Nikto behind it. He received two disposable cups of some kind of caf in return, and presented one to Jyn. “Best cure for it I know,” he told her.

Jyn gave him a smile, one of her real ones that he saw so rarely-- and treasured when he did. “Thanks,” she said, taking a sip. Tucking her arm around his again, she asked, “Where to next?”

“This way,” Cassian told her, moving towards an alleyway. With any luck, it would come out just in front of their contact’s house.

And it did. They stepped out of the alley and into a neighborhood of shabby houses huddled next to each other like they, too, were trying to keep warm. At the third one in the row, a squad of stormtroopers were standing, the door had been knocked off of its hinges, and Cassian froze as he saw them dragging out a Twi’lek woman.

“Tell me that’s not our contact,” Jyn said, but her voice made it clear she knew what the truth was.

Four more stormtroopers came out of the house, each dragging a victim. The first was a Twi’lek man, who looked furious and scared like his wife. But the third was a little girl, and Cassian saw the female Twi’lek lurch towards her as she was shoved to the ground and a blaster was trained on her head. Oh, no.

That was all he had time to think before Jyn was pulling away from him, her cup of caf hitting the ground and splashing everywhere.

“Jyn, wait--” Cassian cut himself off with a low curse. Pulling his blaster with one hand, he pulled the emergency beacon out of his pocket with the other and thumbed it on. They were about to need all the help they could get.

Already several steps ahead of him, Jyn didn’t hesitate. Whipping out her blaster, she shot the two troopers holding the little girl. Thankfully, they were caught off guard, and didn’t expect her to shoot two more, both of the ones holding back the Twi’lek girl’s mother. And then they reacted, lifting their blasters and pointing at Jyn.But then Cassian was there, blaster rifle blazing as he took out four of the troopers, grabbed Jyn by the arm and tugged her out of harm’s way, behind one of the other houses. Pulling away from him, Jyn hissed, “We have to get them out of there.”

“I know. One thing at a time,” Cassian said, jerking back as a blaster bolt zipped past his face. “I called in back up--”

“We don’t have time to wait for them,” Jyn said.

“I figured you’d say that,” Cassian muttered. “Fine. I’ll cover you, you go for the girl. Ready?”

Jyn pulled out her baton, opening it with a flick of her wrist as she said, “Let’s go.”

Cassian moved out from behind the house in one smooth step, lifting his blaster and firing rapidly. In the same moment, Jyn dove out of cover and charged towards the Twi’lek girl. As she ran, Cassian heard a familiar humming-- the sound of their ship’s engine. Relief swept through him as the ship zipped into view and started to move downwards, the rear hatch opening. Two figures stood there-- one wearing blue and red robes and holding a lightbow, the other wearing red armor and holding a huge repeating blaster.

But even as they moved closer, one of the stormtroopers lifted their blaster, pointing it at the little girl. Before Cassian could move, he fired-- and a blur swept past Cassian, knocking the little girl out of the way.

For a moment, Cassian had no idea what had happened. All he could see was Jyn, standing over the little girl, a hand pressed against her abdomen, looking shocked. And then blood started seeping between her fingers, and Jyn crumpled to the ground next to the girl, and it hit him. She’d taken the shot meant for the Twi’lek girl. And then Cassian was running towards her, barely even noticing the blaster fire flying past him as Baze and Chirrut took out the troopers facing them.

He crashed to his knees next to Jyn, heart pounding. Please, no. Cassian found his hands were shaking as he wrapped his hand around her arm and pulled her upright and into his arms.

Jyn’s torso was soaked in blood-- far too much blood. Her eyes were closed, and her face incredibly pale. “Come on,” Cassian muttered, yanking off his jacket and pressing it over the blaster wound. “Jyn, wake up. Wake up!”

To his relief, she stirred slightly. “Cassian?” she mumbled, and Cassian had never heard such a beautiful sound in his life.

“I’m here. I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Cassian promised. “Hang on, Jyn.”

“The… the little girl.”

Looking up, Cassian saw Baze ushering the Twi’lek family onto the ship, with K2 and Chirrut watching his back. “She’s okay,” he promised. “I’m gonna pick you up, okay? This is gonna hurt.”

Sliding one arm beneath her legs and the other behind her shoulders, Cassian lifted her up with a grunt. A small cry slipped from between Jyn’s lips, and her fingers knotted themselves in his shirt. “It hurts.”

“I know,” Cassian murmured, settling her against his chest so her head rested on his shoulder, trying to keep his voice steady. “Stay with me. You’re gonna be okay. Just a little longer.”

The only reply was a small moan as Cassian started towards the ship. Chirrut met him halfway, a frown knitting his forehead. “What happened to her?” he demanded.

“One of the troopers shot her in the gut,” Cassian said, and how his voice didn’t break he had no idea. “Tell Baze to get his medkit.”

“He’s already there,” Chirrut told him as they boarded. The hatch hissed shut behind them, and Cassian felt the ship taking off as Chirrut led him to one of the rooms in the back of the ship, where Baze was setting up his medical supplies.

“Put her down here,” he directed without looking up, his expression grim. “Chirrut, pass me the needle and thread. Andor, get out.”

Cassian looked up from settling Jyn on the bunk. “I can’t leave her--”

“Out. You’ll only be in the way.”

“She’ll be fine,” Chirrut promised as he propelled him out of the room. “Baze and I will take good care of her. Make sure our guests are alright.”

Before Cassian could protest, the door hissed shut behind him, leaving him standing in the hallway, blood covering his hands and the front of his shirt. Jyn’s blood.

Stumbling back, Cassian’s back slammed against the wall, and he sank to the ground, burying his face in his hands. All he could see, all he could think of, over and over again, was Jyn crumpling to the ground, her pale face and stillness as she lay there.

She could have died. She could have died right there, and Cassian wouldn’t have been able to do a thing about it. Worse, she could have died before they’d talked, before he told her how he felt. It had always been true, but now it felt… real. Raw with the possibility.

My fault. I should have stopped the trooper, should have stopped Jyn, shouldn’t have taken this kriffing mission, shouldn’t have taken on a crew in the first place. Thoughts tumbled over themselves in his head, and Cassian took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. The smell of blood filled his nose, and he thought he might be sick.

A hand touched his shoulder, and Chirrut’s voice penetrated his haze. “Captain. She will be fine.”“How would you know?” Cassian knew he was being harsh, but the panic, the shame bubbling up inside him, was too much to handle.

“She did not die on Scarif. And you will not lose her now,” Chirrut told him with utter certainty. “The Force wills it so.”

“If I lose her--” Cassian choked on his own words, on the smell of blood filling his nose and mouth. “I can’t. I haven’t-- I shouldn’t have--”

“Sit up, and breathe, Captain,” Chirrut ordered him, his voice abnormally stern. Reluctantly, Cassian did so, facing the blind monk.

“It’s not your fault,” Chirrut said, and Cassian’s chest tightened. “It isn’t. She doesn’t need you to blame yourself. Focus on your mission. One thing at a time.”

Nodding, Cassian inhaled deeply. “Okay. I’m going to go talk to our contact. Let me know the minute anything happens, you got it?”

Chirrut nodded. “I will. Oh-- don’t forget to wash your face.”

Cassian lifted a hand to his face, realizing that he’d smeared the blood on his hands across his forehead and cheeks. “Right,” he muttered, heading for the refresher.

The next few hours seemed to drag by in a stilted blur. Cassian talked to their contact, collected the data Fulcrum needed, and started working on setting up a new place for the small family to stay. He fielded questions about Jyn, mostly by sending whoever was asking-- usually Bodhi or the Twi’lek family, who were incredibly grateful-- to Chirrut. Part of him couldn’t look at their contacts without remembering how still Jyn had been, the far too dark bloodstain on her coat.

He had no idea how he made it through that time. But finally, finally, when he was in the galley getting his fifth cup of caf that night, Chirrut reappeared. “She’s awake,” he told Cassian.

Dropping his mug, Cassian bolted out of the galley and towards the room where Jyn had been. As he arrived, the door hissed open, and Baze stepped out. Giving Cassian a nod, he said, “She’s doing fine. Just needs some rest, and according to Chirrut, some of that horrible tea.”

“Thank you,” Cassian said, not bothering to hide the desperate, grateful edge in his voice, and Baze nodded.

“Anything for her.”

Without another word, the older man headed towards the galley, and Cassian ducked into the room.

Jyn was propped up on about ten different pillows-- Cassian had no idea where they’d come from. Probably either Chirrut or Bodhi. She looked at him as he came in. “We got them out, right?” she asked.

For a minute, Cassian had no idea what she was talking about. He was so glad to see her alive and well and still breathing. There were so many things he hadn’t said that he should have, and he’d almost lost the chance. “What?”

“The family,” Jyn prompted him. “We got them out?”

“Oh-- yeah. They’re all safe,” Cassian said, moving to her side.

Exhaling in relief, Jyn said, “Good. I didn’t want to get shot for nothing.”

“Hey. Don’t joke about that,” Cassian told her. “I thought-- for a minute there--” he faltered, the memory flickering past his eyes again.

Jyn’s hand catching hold of his knocked him out of the memory, and he looked at her with surprise. “I’m safe,” she said. “You’re safe. We’re both okay.”

Nodding, Cassian said, “I know. Just… don’t do that to me again. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Jyn said, her gaze holding his for a long moment before she let out a cavernous yawn. “Baze gave me some kind of sedative, I think,” she mumbled, her eyelids drooping.

“Then you’d better get some sleep,” Cassian told her, starting to move towards the door reluctantly. But Jyn tightened her grasp on his hand.

“Don’t leave?” she whispered, her voice suddenly surprisingly vulnerable. “I… I’m worried about the nightmares.”

There was a good chance part of her honesty was because of the sedatives in her system. But if he didn’t have to, there was no way Cassian would leave her side. “I’ll watch over you,” he promised, settling next to her bed. “You’ll be safe with me.”

A smile crossed Jyn’s face as her eyes drifted shut. “I know,” she murmured.

Cassian watched her for a moment, then on instinct, lifted her hand and pressed a gentle kiss against the knuckles. She was home and safe. That was what mattered for now.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow was a different story entirely.

#jyn erso #cassian andor #rebelcaptain #rogue one #chirrut imwe #baze malbus #bodhi rook #k 2so #111 followers celebration #rogue one fan fic #posted on ao3 #it was dope. the end

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kovnynir · 3 years ago

Text

𝑾𝑨𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑼𝑷

cassian had done everything in his power. everything he could to try and rip himself from that horrid nightmare, to drag jyn and bodhi with them and save them from the same hell, over and over again. sure, keep him there. why should he care if he was trapped in oblivion, forced to live through one of the worst days of his life on repeat, forced to try and change the outcome any way they could... let him stay. that didn’t matter. but spare jyn and bodhi. spare them.

he had been the last to come out of it, which he supposed was a good thing. at least the others didn’t have to suffer for too long. he woke up alone. he was in the forest. his tent was still up, but there was no one else around. no camp. nothing. they left him there -- which, good. that was good. they shouldn’t have to drag him around when they were in danger, it was everyone for themselves and the cause came first.

he wondered where jyn and bodhi must be. he assumed the resistance left them too, but as he searched for their tents or cots, they were nowhere to be found, packed up too. jyn should’ve been in his tent, but she wasn’t. it was strange... part of him wondered if maybe he had died again, and this was the result -- loneliness in an endless forest.

not knowing what else to do or where the resistance ( if there even was a resistance still ) had landed, he walked to the beach instead. the beach had gone from his greatest nightmare to one of the only safe places he had. he stepped onto the sand, walked to the shore, and sat down. shutting his eyes, he took plenty of time to breathe, reconnect with his body and mind, and process everything that happened.

he was so worried that his mind was betraying him all the time. as a spy, his mind was his biggest and most important asset. it needed to be strong, stable, and safe. losing his mind, going crazy, it was always a risk, but not one he could have. he needed to be the leader that he was appointed to be. with everything that happened, he was scared. he was scared that he was going crazy. he was lucky to have bodhi and jyn in his life, but scared to lose them and equally isolated from them. he wasn’t good for them, he wasn’t good for anybody. he couldn’t save anybody and now he wasn’t even sure if there was anyone left to save.

the only way he knew that there was anyone left was when keturah spotted him and raced over. he looked up at the sweet girl, and without even thinking he grabbed her hand and pulled her down, into his arms, so he could hold her tight.

❝ i’m sorry, ❞ he whispered to her.

❝ you have nothing to apologize for, ❞ the girl replied gently. ❝ you’re safe. that’s all that matters. i’ll take you home -- jyn and bodhi will be so happy to see you. ❞

cassian just closed her eyes and held onto her for a bit. ❝ i’m sorry. i’m sorry i failed the resistance. ❞

❝ you didn’t fail us, ❞ keturah said. ❝ i’m sorry i had to leave you behind. i came here because i thought you’d be here. but i’ve been checking on you every chance i get. we’re all okay. we’ve lost a few, but... we’re okay. ❞ she gently rubbed his back. whenever he was ready, she’d help him return.

cassian waited for a while, then finally took a breath. the two of them got up and returned to the base. cassian was still feeling strange, but... at least he was home.

#* cassian : self para.#* cassian : event.#self para.

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joeybelle · 5 years ago

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Starlight - Chapter 27

Cassian Andor x OFC

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Angst, Strong language

Size: 7900

Waiting was the worst part. Cora worked and worked and when she didn’t, she made sure to keep busy somehow, but even so she still found herself looking out the window, waiting for Cassian’s return.

The rumours had spread like wildfire and although nothing had been confirmed yet, everyone was expecting the worst. They weren’t talking openly about it and, as far as she could tell, they were all acting like everything was fine, but the frightened look in their eyes told a different story.

Cora ended up spending some time with Melshi, who’d come in for a random check-up, something pretty unusual for him. So, after she made sure he wasn’t dying, she offered him a cup of coffee. She suspected he’d only come to keep her company, and she was really grateful for that.

“What do you think about all this?” she asked, after long minutes of silence and staring into their cups and out the window.

“We’ll have to wait and see,” he shrugged. He didn’t look too stressed, but he had always seemed to keep his composure better than most. Cora wondered if he was that good at hiding it or he just wasn’t fazed by the rumours.

“What will we do if there actually is such a weapon?”

“We fight it! What else can we do?” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Cora wondered just how much of these rebels’ bodies were made of courage and pure optimism.

She propped her chin on her hand, and leaned closer. “How do you fight a planet killer?” she asked with the air of someone who wasn’t really expecting an answer.

“Maybe we can stop them before it’s finished,” he tried giving one anyway. “I mean, we don’t know if it’s finished yet, right? Isn’t that where that Galen Erso dude comes in?” He pulled a pack of crackers from his pocket, ripped it open and pushed it towards Cora. “If he’s built it, he has to know how to destroy it. That’s what I would do. That’s the smart thing to do,” he mumbled.

“I suppose,” she said, taking a cracker, but not biting into it.

“I’ve heard you know them,” he said, filling his mouth with crackers. Cora nodded. “Feisty, isn’t she? Knocked me right onto my ass when we tried to free her.”

So he’d been part of the rescue mission. Of course he’d be, he was one of the best and Cassian trusted him with his life.

“She didn’t seem that feisty to me,” Cora smiled, flipping the rectangular snack between her fingers.

“Well, you see that’s cause you’re scary,” he laughed.

“Really?”

“Really.” Cora could tell he was joking. She knew there was nothing scary about her. “Especially when you’re pissed at Cassian. That’s peak scary.”

She snickered, but then looked out the window again. “Do you think he’s alright?”

“Yeah, he’s a resilient bastard that one. Lucky too,” he said, throwing the empty coffee cup into the trash. “Don’t worry too much about him.”

She’d tried, but she couldn’t help herself. She wasn’t worried only about Cassian, she was worried about the future as a whole. Waiting and not knowing what was going on was killing her. She almost knocked onto the War Room door a couple of times, just to ask what was happening, but she figured there was no reason for her to interrupt them to ask stupid questions. She’d find out eventually, she needed to be patient.

Melshi’s presence was comforting. Despite his somewhat aggravating personality, he knew when to speak and when to shut up. He followed her around the med bay as she was keeping herself busy, telling her jokes, asking about stuff, helping her keep her focus away from the feeling of impending doom. She suspected he needed a little company too and wasn’t doing it only for her sake, so she appreciated his presence even more.

The roaring of engines made them both drop everything and rush to the window. Cora looked at the squadron leaving the strip, holding her breath.

“What do you think is going on?”

“No idea,” he replied, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder and pulling her into a half hug. Cora shuddered, and forced herself to even out her breathing.

“Doctor Enoch,” she heard a voice coming from the doors and they both turned to look. “Your presence is required in the War Room.”

Her heart nearly stopped, and the only reply she could give was a curt nod. She looked at Melshi, but his face didn’t betray any emotion.

“I’ll see myself out,” he said, patting her shoulder. “Go see what the higher ups want this time.”

Cora nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered as she passed him and earned a smile from the sergeant.

The War Room was in an even bigger frenzy than before. She was guided towards the back, where Mothma was talking to Doctor Crane, looking all serious. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. She could feel her knees getting weaker with every step she was taking and she didn’t need a mirror to know that she was deathly pale. There was no reason for her to be called unless something really bad had happened. Cassian’s face appeared before her eyes and she nearly burst into tears.

“Everyone’s alright,” Doctor Crane assured her, before she could even open her mouth to say anything and Cora couldn’t thank him enough. She could finally breathe, although the knot in her throat was still there.

“But the weapon’s been confirmed,” Mothma continued. “It’s been used to destroy the holy city of Jedha.”

Cora’s breath hitched. So it was true. “And the crew?” she managed to mumble through shaky fingers.

“They’re currently running an extraction operation on Eadu. We’ve sent them some backup.”

“Eadu?!”

“Yes, are you familiar with it?” Mothma asked, curious.

“I know about it,” Cora said, realizing her reaction had been completely out of proportion. “Research facility. Shit weather. But you probably already know that.”

“Yes, we do. However, I don’t expect this extraction to go smoothly, no matter how much faith I have in our operatives. I do expect at least a few to… to get hurt,” she said. “I want you two leading the welcoming party; get them patched up before we talk to them. I don’t want anyone dying on us.”

Cora sighed with relief. She was still scared, frightened even, but at least now she knew what she had to do. “I’ll assemble a team and wait for them on the tarmac,” she said, before realizing she’d gone completely over Doctor Crane’s head. She glanced at the doctor, but he just nodded.

“I’ll prep the OR and make sure we’re ready for whatever might come,” he added.

“Good,” Mothma said, smiling briefly. “We’ll let you know if we find out anything else.” And she was gone, leaving Cora with Doctor Crane.

Cora didn’t waste much time either. She had a job to do, and for the first time since the superweapon rumour, she actually felt in control. As much as she could be, given the situation.

She could see Draven in the distance as she crossed the room, looking pretty distressed. She was sure that it wasn’t a good sign, but at this point what was? If she wanted to remain sane, she had to trust that Cassian was smart and lucky enough to come back to her. In mendable pieces, at least. She left the War Room in a hurry, not wanting to see or hear anything else. She felt like the weight of the world was pushing down on her shoulders.

Getting a team ready was really easy: everyone knew what they had to do—they’d done it a million times before—and they rarely questioned orders, even though Cora wasn’t usually the one giving them. But the wait was grueling. Having to stand on the tarmac, looking at a strip of gray sky not knowing anything was exhausting.

Well, she knew a little about what was going on, Mon Mothma had kept her promise and had gotten someone to fill her in. There were five people, not counting K2. The pilot had been imprisoned and might have been tortured by Saw Gerrera and they didn’t know what shape he might be in, so he was top priority. The others appeared to be functional, but Cora knew Cassian well enough to know that he could still function pretty well while being deathly wounded, so she didn’t trust it until she had the chance to examine him. So she waited.

Jedha had been completely wiped off the face of the planet, someone had told her. Only one beam of concentrated energy was all it took to destroy a whole city and everyone inside it. She wondered if anyone had escaped. Probably not. She hoped Cassian didn’t wait around until it was almost too late, but knowing him, he could have just barely survived the blast. She didn't want to know. It was better not to think about it.

But she couldn’t not think about what the existence of the weapon meant for them. She hoped with all her heart that they found Galen Erso and that he could help them destroy it before it did more harm. The only thing she could do right now was to hope.

She knew it was them when she saw an imperial cargo ship coming into sight. It was the last piece of intel she had received, that they would be coming back in a stolen ship. It was a Zeta shuttle, and it made her wonder what had happened with Cassian’s U-Wing. Actually, she didn’t want to know. She only hoped he was okay. That all of them were okay.

The medical personnel rushed towards the landing ship. The first one to come into sight was K2, and Cora breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that he was in one piece. He was followed by a couple of people she didn’t know and a reasonably angry looking Jyn.

“Which one of you is the pilot?”

“Depends on the situation,” K2 replied and Cora had a feeling he’d go into a full blown tirade if she wouldn’t stop him.

“The Imperial pilot.”

K2 pointed a finger at the figure hiding behind his metal frame. “Yeah-yeah, that would be me,” he stuttered, his hunched shoulders making him look smaller than he actually was. “Former… Imperial pilot,” he added, looking down.

“I’m Doctor Cora Enoch,” she said, trying to seem as friendly as possible—Melshi’s words still echoing through her mind even though she knew it was bullshit.

Cassian showed up from behind K2 and passed Cora without even looking at her, striding towards Jyn. They exchanged a few hasty words before heading towards the temple.

“Hey!” Cora yelled after him, making him stop, but not turn around. “Captain Andor, you’ll have to first get through me before going anywhere else.” Her voice sounded more desperate than commanding. He still wouldn’t look at her and Cora was hit by a wave of coldness.

“There’s no time,” he spat and continued walking, Jyn following close by.

“One day I’ll nail you to a bed and dunk you in bacta,” she mumbled, giving up and turning her attention to the other, less stubborn patients, because she knew that no matter how much she wanted to run after him to make sure he was alright, there were other priorities. She knew what her duty was and at that point Cassian wasn’t at the top of the list. Shouldn’t be at the top of the list. She forced herself to focus on the others.

One of them smiled, the one Cora assumed was blind, by the haziness of his eyes. “It won't be that easy getting the captain to sit still long enough to nail him down.” The other man chuckled.

“I've got my means,” she said, allowing a sad smile to play on her lips before becoming serious once again. “Would you two please follow the other medics for a quick check-up?”

“I don't think it would be necessary. We weren’t wounded.”

“Yeah, don't bother with us, we're fine. Just the kid,” the burly one said, pointing at the pilot. “He's been through a lot.”

Cora nodded. “I promise it's gonna be quick,” she insisted. “If anything, they’ll at least fetch you something to eat and drink before the Council will require your presence.” She had no idea who these two were and how they ended up on Cassian's ship— although she had a hunch Cassian might have kidnapped them— but they were her responsibility until further notice so she wanted them taken care of as best as possible. Fortunately, they didn't seem to be the stubborn kind and actually agreed after what she considered to be only minimal protests.

“My name is Chirrut Imwe,” the blind one said, smiling as he followed the other medics. “My friend here is Baze Malbus. It was a pleasure to meet you, Corinthia Enoch.”

Cora’s blood froze in her veins, her breath catching in her throat. She wasn’t used to hearing her full name anymore, especially not from people she didn’t know. She looked after him over her shoulder, wondering how much of a threat he was to her. There was no reason some blind dude Cassian had picked up from fuck knows where should know who she was.

“Come on, Chirrut. You're scaring her,” the other one added.

“I didn’t mean to scare her,” he responded, turning around and taking a couple steps in her direction, but the one he’d called Baze Malbus put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about me, I’m a friend,” he said with a smile.

Cora smiled in reply but it was forced. “Please follow the medics,” she said, trying to hide her unease. Something told her she should have kept her blaster on hand. “Who are they?” she asked in a hushed tone, once they were far enough to not hear her.

“Guardians of the Wills,” the pilot replied. “They guard the Jedi temple on Jedha… well, used to.” The sadness was very easily noticeable on his face. Cora felt for him, she knew it would be insanely painful having to watch a whole city being completely erased.

“Are they Jedi too?” she asked, trying to shift his attention a bit. She’d only heard stories about the Jedi and it was really hard to imagine that there had been a day when they’d existed as more than just legends.

“No… I don’t think so.”

“Alright then. Will you follow me, please?” she said him, before turning around to look at the black droid. “Are you okay? Do you want me to call someone to check you up?” She had no idea how to look after a droid—her engineering background could come in handy in a pinch, but she didn’t trust herself to do a good job. However, she knew she could find someone who knew.

K2 scoffed, or at least that’s how Cora interpreted the cacophony of noises. “I’m fine. I wouldn’t let anyone besides Cassian poke at me anyway,” he said in an offended tone and Cora did her best to hide a smile. Of course he wouldn’t.

“As you wish,” she said, motioning for the pilot, who was still hiding behind K2, to follow. “You know where to find me if you need anything,” she told the droid, as she waited for the pilot to climb down the ramp. His legs were a little wobbly.

She suggested a gurney, but he refused, insisting to walk to the med bay instead. K2 followed them with his eyes until they disappeared inside the temple.

Cora decided to take the pilot, Bodhi Rook—as he introduced himself—to the main med bay upstairs. It was the best equipped and it was the place she felt most comfortable in. She let the others take care of Chirrut Imwe and Baze Malbus downstairs, since they seemed to be in pretty good shape, according to the few tests they’d run already.

Bodhi Rook was in a much better shape than she’d expected, although the scanners did show some worrying signs. She’d hooked him to an IV to make up for dehydration and lack of nutrients, gave him some antibiotics for his wounds and something to calm him down a bit, since he was a little jittery.

“You have suffered some sort of brain injury recently,” she said, frowning at his brain scan. “It’s not extensive and it’s already starting to heal, but I’ve never seen this pattern before.”

Showing her patients that she didn’t have a clue what was going on was tabu, but she was curious. She knew he had been tortured and he looked the part, but she had no idea how he’d gotten that sort of injury. It wasn’t consistent with head trauma, there were no signs of asphyxiation, it didn’t look like a stun gun or baton either. It was something she’d never seen before.

“Oh,” he said, his face lighting up like he actually knew the answer. “That was Bor Gullet. I think,” he explained.

“What’s Bor Gullet?”

“That’s what Saw Gerrera called it,” he said, and a wave of unease could be seen clouding his features. “It’s this creature, with tentacles. It can get into your head and find out things. Read your mind, find out if you’re lying.”

Cora felt a cold shiver run down her spine. “A mairan? They have a mairan?”

“I suppose.”

Cora shuddered. Bor Gullet. She remembered them being called Bors. Now his injuries made sense. She’d never tended to someone who had been interrogated with the help of a mairan, but the brain damage was consistent with what she had read.

“They’re terrible creatures,” was all she managed to mutter, trying not to let out all the hate and bitterness inside her. “And so are the people using them.”

“Have you ever seen one?”

“No, but I read about them.” She didn’t tell him that she first read about them in her father’s file and then when she researched the reconditioning facility where he was imprisoned for almost two years. She didn’t tell him that sometimes, even now, she had nightmares that she would be caught and a mairan would suck all the information out of her head and there would be nothing she could do to stop them. And he didn’t ask.

But they talked about little things. Their shared experience working for the Empire, their childhood, some gossip… however, all of these converged into the sad reality of their existence today. None of them could deny the threat the Empire posed, so the conversation eventually died down as they got lost in their thoughts.

The silence between them was comforting, at least. He’d been a really diligent patient, unlike a certain Captain Cora knew. She was still bitter that Cassian had brushed her off earlier, and was really set on getting revenge. Unlike him, Bodhi Rook was calmly sitting in the range of a healing field generator, and he hadn’t even tried scratching off the bacta patches Cora had applied on his various cuts and bruises. She really liked him.

It wasn’t long before someone came to get them. While she wasn’t explicitly invited to take part in the meeting she followed anyway and no one stopped her. There were a lot more people in the War Room than she had ever seen before, mostly unfamiliar faces. She assumed this was the whole Council gathered together for the first time since she’d joined them. How they managed to get them all in one place in only a few hours was a mystery, but she assumed the realization of impending doom had some magical properties.

Cassian was standing at the edge of the crowd, arms crossed over his chest looking terribly guarded. All eyes were fixed on Jyn telling them what had happened, so Cora advanced towards Cassian. She didn’t expect her hand on his elbow to be met with any kind of enthusiasm—after all, he wasn’t one to show his feelings in public—but she didn’t expect him to brush it off.

“Hey,” she whispered, pulling her hand back. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he whispered back and took a step to the side, widening the gap between them. “Just busy.” Nothing more. No ‘I’ll talk to you when this is over’, nothing. He advanced through the crowd, until there were at least ten people between them.

Cora didn’t follow. She knew she wasn’t wanted there, and although she didn’t understand the shift, she didn’t question it. He was busy, that much was true, but she didn’t think that she was such a distraction that he wouldn’t be able to focus with her nearby. They would have to talk about this at some point, sooner rather than later, because Cora was starting to get tired of the uncertainty in their relationship. It seemed things were going well between them, and now this.

She assumed the whole imminent death by planet killer was to blame, but wouldn’t that make people kinder? The realization that life was fleeting and the ‘now’ was the only certainty they had?

Cora tried to focus on what was going on around her so she wouldn’t start tearing up. This wasn’t the moment to overanalyze Cassian’s odd behaviour.

The council listened to the story, both from Jyn and Bodhi and, as expected, they started fighting. All of them were scared, some of them visibly so, some hiding it behind a mask of cockiness. She understood very well the urge to drop everything and run into hiding. They would have to either stand their ground and fight, risking being wiped with the planets they inhabited or disband the Alliance, letting the Empire win. Cora didn’t think they would be able to reunite again, once they disbanded. Not to this scale, at least. Everyone would hide as best as they could and live for the rest of their life in fear.

She understood why anyone would choose to live. A year ago she would have done the same thing in the blink of an eye. Even now, her brain was telling her to take that one way ticket out of there that Mothma had offered her, but she hoped with all her heart that they would find a way, find a solution. She couldn’t leave— she didn’t want to—as long as Cassian was still there. As long as her friends and her new found home were still with the Rebellion.

She listened in silence. She didn’t have much to say, and even if she did, she doubted it would make any difference. Jyn had been really passionate, and her speech seemed to have moved some of them, but the majority was still too scared to agree to diving head first into a battle that had all the odds stacked against them.

Their plan sounded crazy too: attacking Scarif to try and steal some plans. That wasn’t something that was going to work, she was certain of it. She knew the security would be really tight, especially now that they knew there was a traitor. Maybe they’d have a chance if they waited, let things settle a bit, and then infiltrate the compound. She might be able to help them out a little, she thought. But by the way they were speaking, it didn’t seem like they’d have the time for that.

“I say the Rebellion is finished,” said one of the senators, and Cora’s breath caught in her throat. She never thought hearing those words would bring so much pain, but her hand went to her chest, clutching the uniform above her rapidly beating heart.

She didn’t believe them. Until she saw it with her own eyes, she wouldn’t believe that the Rebellion was done for.

“I’m sorry, Jyn,” said Mon Mothma. “Without the full support of the council, the odds are too great.”

Cora sighed. She figured as much. They weren’t prepared for such an endeavour right then. But Cora had faith that they would be able to find a way to get the plans and find a way to defeat the weapon in the end. After all, they had the best people working for the Rebellion. They just needed the time to think it through and find the best solution. She wanted to think that this was just one of the bigger bumps in their path, but one they will eventually be able to overcome. Her heart felt heavy.

The meeting was over, it seemed. Everyone was leaving the room, so Cora looked around for Cassian. She’d almost forgotten his outburst earlier, but she felt another pang of unease when she couldn’t spot him anywhere. He must have slipped out of the room when she wasn’t looking. Even in the busy corridor, he was nowhere to be seen. She’d have to hunt him through the base, but she’d do it if that was the only way.

“Doctor,” someone called, and Cora turned around to see Jyn following her. “I thought you might want your blaster back,” she said, touching the holstered pistol with the palm of her hand. Cora liked how she didn’t pull it out to hand it to her in front of everyone. She seemed to know how not to attract attention. She reminded her of Cassian somehow.

“I believe you’d get a lot more use out of it than I would,” Cora said with a smile. “I’m just a doctor after all.” Jyn didn’t insist, instead pulled her jacket to hide the weapon. “Speaking of which, I’d like you to follow me for a routine checkup.” Her voice sounded surprisingly unfamiliar even to herself. She had no idea why she was using her very professional tone, even with someone she was supposed to know. It kept her grounded, she assumed. Her brain was screaming.

“I’m fine,” the girl said, retreating into the wall behind her, something else that reminded Cora of Cassian. “There’s no need for that,” she continued.

“It only takes ten minutes, then you’re free to go,” Cora said, hoping that she was less stubborn than a certain Captain. But if she was, Cora was sure she had enough authority to be able to order her around, even if Jyn was the one with an unregistered blaster. But eventually Jyn nodded and followed her down the corridor. “Have you seen Bodhi Rook?” she asked, scanning the crowd for the pilot.

“I think I saw him head to the elevators,” she shrugged and Cora frowned.

“He should be resting, not walking around the building,” Cora said in a very pronounced imperial manner, an accent that she just now noticed—before turning on her heels and walking towards the med bay with Jyn in tow.

She was shaking. Not her hands, her hands were steady and her face stony as she helped Jyn enter the full body scanner, but her whole being felt like it was vibrating at a high frequency, ready to break any second. She needed to find Cassian, she needed him to assure her that everything was going to be alright. That he was going to be alright. She knew it was selfish, but to her the wellbeing of the entire world somehow came second to his safety.

Jyn was diligently waiting for Cora to finish running her tests, but she seemed jittery. She was nervously picking at the skin around one of her thumb nails almost to the point of drawing blood.

“I’m sorry about your father,” Cora eventually said, not looking her in the eye, but keeping her eyes glued to the data-pad in her hands. “He was a good man.”

“Was he though?” her voice sounded defiant and angry, but Cora expected that. “I don’t know, I didn’t have the time to talk to him because he was killed.”

Cora didn’t know what to say. ‘I’m sorry’ sounded mechanical even in her own mind, and after all, it wasn’t her fault. But she also knew that she wasn’t going to get an apology from the ones that were at fault either, not after the blatant mistrust they showed her in the War Room.

“I’m sorry,” she eventually said, putting the data-pad down on a counter and motioning for Jyn to hop up on the consultation table. “But I think he was a good man. He did what he had to do, and his help is now our only hope. I don’t think I would have been brave enough to try and sabotage the Empire right under their noses.” Cora smiled.

“You left.”

“Took me a very long time to do it, and I had help.”

“You know, I’ve been dreaming about him lately,” she suddenly said, looking down at her hands. “About him and mom. I haven’t thought about them for years, but now it’s like… all of it is coming back. I don’t know if they’re memories or just… he used to tell me to remember that he will always protect me,” her voice trailed off and Cora could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. She didn’t know what to do, so she started applying bacta patches on her bruises. “In the end, I wasn’t able to return the favour.”

“It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

“It is,” she said, her voice picking up in intensity. “If I can’t even convince them that what he said is true, if we can’t get the plans… It was all in vain. He died for nothing.”

“Trust Cassian,” Cora said with conviction. “He’ll find a way. He always does.” No matter the cost, she thought, but didn’t say it out loud as if afraid that saying the words out loud would automatically make them true.

“Do you love him?” she asked out of the blue, looking up to meet Cora’s eyes.

“Yes,” Cora answered, the weight of the statement only registering after she had said it. “I do.”

Cora dropped the leftover patches on a tray and took off her gloves. “You seem to be in pretty good shape, considering,” she said with a smile. “Although the wounds are superficial, I’d advise you to take it easy and rest for the time being. I can offer you a room with a bed—”

“Thanks,” she interrupted, and Cora wasn’t surprised in the least. “I think I should go find Bodhi. See if he’s alright. He seemed a little bit shaken.”

Cora nodded and didn’t stop her when she gathered her stuff and headed for the door. She knew deep down that the right thing to do would be to stop her, get her to rest and heal even against her will, but she was tired. “If anything happens with either of you, if you feel unwell in any way, come see me,” she said.

Jyn assured her she’d do so and left. Cora crashed onto a chair, covering her face with the palms of her hands. She really hoped she’d wake up and find out it’s been just another bad dream. Unfortunately, she felt incredibly lucid. Her mind was still buzzing.

She knew she had to pull herself together if she was going to be of any help, but she was scared and she had no idea what they could do about it. If she were to be completely honest, the idea of disbanding the Rebellion for the time being was getting more and more enticing.

They didn’t have to disband it for good, no, but they could lay low for a while, move the troops around so they wouldn’t be one single, easy to destroy target. Try to find out what the Empire was planning, find a way to get the plans in the meantime. After all, the Rebellion had some of the best spies in the Galaxy. Sending all of their troops to crash and burn on the Scarif shield was madness, especially since they knew there had been a security breach and they expected an attack. They had to do something, but a direct clash wasn’t probably the way to go right then. Maybe taking a step back would be the best strategy for the time being.

Cora’s fingers were still pressing her temples while her eyes fixed a tiny dark spot on the ceiling when K2 entered the med bay, startling her.

“Hey K,” she said, getting up the chair and fixing her uniform. “What can I help you with?”

The droid seemed a little confused, looking around the place as if this was the first time he’d seen the place.

“I have a favour to ask,” he said, and although his mechanical voice sounded the same as always, Cora thought there was a sense of hesitation surrounding him.

“Sure,” she said, becoming increasingly aware of the tension in the air. “Anything.”

The droid hesitated a little more, poking at a perpetual motion machine that Doctor Crane had put onto his desk. The ticking of the spheres hitting each other filled the room and the droid watched them for a few moments in silence.

Cora waited. Only when he moved towards her did she ask what she could help him with.

“I have something I would like you to hold onto for me, until I come back. It’s important to me and I wouldn’t want it to get lost.”

“Sure,” Cora replied, and the droid placed a blue, iridescent crystal in the palm of her hand. It was an octahedron no bigger than her thumb, its eight sides perfectly smooth, turning a coppery shade whenever one of them caught the light. There seemed to also be a sort of glow coming from the inside, but it might have very well have been the med bay lights reflecting weirdly inside the crystal. “Are you sure you want me to look after this?” It looked really expensive and by the way K2 talked about it, it seemed to be really important to him. “Wouldn’t Cassian be able to take better care of it?”

The droid snorted, if it could be called that way the noise he made. “He can’t even look after himself,” the droid replied. “I think you’d be able to take better care of it until we come back.”

“Where are you headed off to this time?” Cora asked, a shiver of fear running through her.

“Scarif.” The name hit her in the face like a cargo ship coming at full speed. “Cassian is convincing people to go to Scarif to retrieve the plans,” he said, matter of factly.

Cora felt her hands suddenly getting cold. “Now?” she asked, hanging on the tiny bit of hope that maybe she’d understood it wrong, but the droid nodded. “But that’s suicide,” she almost yelled, her voice cracking as she felt tears welling in her eyes. “I’ve gotta talk to him.”

Cora ran out of the med bay, almost knocking into a couple of people on her way out. It was the first time the elevator ride felt like an eternity. Maybe she was too late. She knew she wasn’t, because Cassian would never leave K2 behind, but what if… She clutched the crystal in the palm of her hand, the sharp edges digging into her skin. This wasn’t what she had in mind when she hoped Cassian would find a solution. She’d hoped he’d do it without killing himself.

When the elevator doors opened, she didn’t have the power to run anymore, so she just walked to the handful of people suspiciously gathered in the middle of the hangar, digging through a pile of supply crates. She knew most of them. They’d played Sabacc together and drank shitty jet juice, hidden away in their little makeshift bar in the catacombs. Most of them avoided her gaze when she got near. Melshi winked at her when he made eye contact, but didn’t say anything. Cora was much too jittery to say hello.

Cassian was there, of course, and so was Jyn and Bodhi and the other two she couldn’t name. He had his back turned to her, almost as if he was trying his best to pretend she hadn’t stopped a couple of meters behind him. She knew he’d noticed her, he always did.

“Andor, can I have a word with you?” It wasn't a question and her voice sounded harsh, but the forced rigidity of her body was the only thing that was keeping her from falling apart, as if she’d lose composure even for a second she’d break into a million pieces.

He seemed annoyed when he looked at her, the frown on his face accentuating, but nodded anyway.

“Oooo, you fucked up,” Melshi laughed as they were leaving the group to find a quieter place to talk, but his voice lacked his usual cheer. Cora didn’t look back, afraid that she’ll burst into tears if she did.

“K2 told me you’re leaving,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest once they were out of hearing range. “I had to find out from him, because I guess you had no intention to tell me.” She sounded reproachful and bitter, but that was just scratching the surface of what she was feeling.

“We have to,” he said, not meeting her gaze. It wasn’t an apology, it wasn’t an excuse. It was just that, a statement. He looked resolute and devoid of any emotion, and any trace of anger Cora held melted away once fear took over.

“You don’t have to.” Her heart was beating so fast it felt like bursting out of her chest. She had to use every ounce of self-control to keep her emotions in check and not let her voice show the pure desperation that dictated her every move. “There must be another option.” He didn’t reply, the stubborn look on his face not faltering even for a second. “We can pull back, think of another strategy and then regroup when the time is right,” she offered, although she knew she was talking out of her ass.

He looked tired, she noticed. He looked drained, but at the same time strung like a chord waiting to snap at the smallest impulse. She hated the Empire, she hated the Rebellion for putting so much pressure on him, and she hated herself for not being able to help.

Cassian looked at the ground for a long moment and eventually shook his head. “There won’t be another time if we don’t act now.”

Cora felt like she was trying to crush a mountain with her bare hands. “But it’s stupid! It’s suicide!” she yelled, hoping he would listen to reason.

“Stupid is all we’ve got!” he snapped, and Cora reeled back at the intensity.

“You’ll only die in vain.” Her voice was already shaky. “Trust me. I’ve been to Scarif, I know the odds.” Listen for once, she prayed. But he was defiantly looking someplace else, still avoiding her gaze. “Please, Cassian… Please!”

He wasn’t yielding. He’d made up his mind and Cora was sure that no matter what she said she wasn’t going to make him reconsider. Her heart ached when the reality sunk in: he was leaving. He was going to throw himself in a battle he’d never be able to survive, no matter how skilled of lucky he was.

She took a deep breath, “Then take me with you,” she said, resolute, and Cassian’s eyes shot up to look at her.

“Have you lost your mind?” he said, letting out a disbelieving laugh, devoid of humour.

Cora stood her ground. “I know the place. I know the archive. I can help.”

He snorted. “You’ll get killed in no time. And even worse, you’ll get others killed too.” His voice was turning to steel with every uttered word. “I don’t have time for this.”

Cora opened her mouth to protest, but Cassian cut her off.

“You’re a liability, Cora! Understand that!” he yelled, leaving her stunned. “And I can’t afford any liabilities.”

His sharp tone was like a slap in the face. She wondered if he meant her on the battlefield, of her in general; if he considered their relationship a liability. It certainly sounded like something the impenetrable, hyper focused Captain Andor would think, but she’d thought after all this time…

She forced herself to push her doubts to the back of her mind. This was not the time to feel hurt. This wasn’t about her.

“I can keep you alive,” she merely whispered.

“You can’t keep yourself alive,” he spat. “We don’t need you.”

She had no idea at what point she’d started crying, but when she lifted her hand and passed it over her face she felt her cheeks drenched in tears. She wasn’t going to give up on him, no matter how cruel he’d decided to be all of a sudden. The worst of all was that he was right and she had no way of fighting his words. He didn’t need her, he never did. She’d just hoped that at some point, he had wanted her.

“I won’t be able to face myself if I don’t do this now,” he said, and his voice sounded strangled, as if he was trying to find an excuse for the harsh words he’d uttered earlier. He lifted his eyes to look at her, but it didn’t last more than a second. “Everything I’ve done over the years will be for nothing if I don't do this now. The Rebellion will crumble. And I’m nothing if not for this.” The desperation in his voice was tangible.

Cora took a step closer and lifted her hand to touch his cheek, but he brushed her hand away. His gesture hurt even worse than his words had. “Cassian… You’re everything,” she whispered, defeated.

“I’m nothing without the Rebellion, don’t you understand?” he repeated, turning his back to her. Cora could feel her tears starting to stream down her cheeks. She took another step in his direction, this time grabbing onto the back of his shirt, clutching onto him with all her remaining strength.

“Please stay,” she said, feeling the panic rising, propping her forehead on his back. “We could grow old together,” he smiled, the shadow of a smile, trying to bite back the sobs that threatened to escape.

“There’s nothing to keep me here.”

There was no way to describe in words what she felt in that moment. She didn’t think she could hurt more, but her heart breaking was a new type of pain altogether. A numbing sort of pain.

“Nothing?” she managed to mutter, her throat feeling dry despite the wave of tears washing over her cheeks. “Nothing at all?” she asked again, her voice taking on a high pitch.

“...nothing.”

She let go of his shirt, her arms falling lifeless around her body. She didn’t have the power to stop him from walking away; her mouth opened, but no words came out. She watched him depart though the tears filling her eyes, but she still couldn’t get her body to move.

This was the end. One way or another, this was the end. Cora pressed her palm on her chest, feeling the familiar bump of the necklace he’d given her on Samarkand. She took it out, clutching it between her shaking fingers, trying her best to not break into sobs.

She prayed—to known gods and made-up ones—to keep him safe and bring him back; she promised them everything she could think of to just spare him this time. She even promised them her own life in exchange for his, but she had little hope that anyone out there was listening to her prayers.

But even if he did come back, for them this was the end.

His smell still lingered around her, long after the ship was gone.

“You’re an idiot,” Melshi said when Cassian walked up the ramp. He threw the sergeant a dirty look, but Melshi shrugged and entered the ship. “Just letting you know, in case you’ve forgotten.”

He made an effort not to look back, as the main hatch was closing behind him. He hoped Cora had gone inside, but something told him she was still there. He didn’t look back, in fear that if he’d see her he’d step down the ramp and run to her, leaving everything behind. Growing old together, what an enticing dream that was.

“You could’ve at least hugged her goodbye if you’re that scared of telling her you love her. Might never get another chance.”

Cassian shook his head. He couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t. “It’s done,” he said, walking to the front of the ship.

K2 was sitting in the co-pilot chair, next to Bodhi, throwing him a dirty look. It was a weird feeling not being in the pilot seat this time, but he was grateful. His hands were shaking.

“Where have you been?” he asked, frowning at the droid. He knew where he’d been, Cora had told him, he just wondered what made him run to her. He’d never been the one to snitch on Cassian before.

“None of your business,” the droid replied, switching his attention back to the controls.

“Five more minutes and we’d have left without you.”

K2 snorted. “I’ve been here for the past 14 minutes, waiting for you,” he said, flipping switches, but Cassian had already tuned him out.

The base was getting smaller as they exited the moon’s atmosphere. The place he’d gotten used to calling home was being left behind, along with the woman he loved and the smallest tinge of hope he still had for the future. The only constants in his life. These, and the terrible things he had to do in the name of freedom.

He hadn’t been truly scared in a long time. Not for himself, and if he’d have to be fair, not for others either. He’d been numb for many years, pushing everything as deep down as he could, hoping that eventually he wouldn’t feel the weight of the things he was doing. But it was slowly crushing him.

With Cora, he’d allowed himself to feel, he’d allowed himself to hope for a future where he wouldn’t have to be the person he was now. Where he could be a better man, worthy of her love.

Melshi had been right, he thought, passing a hand over his face, this could have been the last time he’d ever see her, and he didn’t even take a good look. He didn’t have to, he’d memorized her features in the countless nights he’d watched her sleep peacefully next to him.

He didn’t want to look either. He didn’t want to see the pain he’d caused her and be eaten by guilt. It was for the best, he told himself. He wished he didn’t have to be cruel on purpose, but he couldn’t face her. He couldn’t give her hope, have her fight for him when his resolve was already so thin.

He was just one smile, one embrace away from abandoning the cause he’d believed in all his life. One kiss away from quitting the fight to go live a domestic life with her. One look. That was all he needed to give up.

His love for her had made him a coward.

Cassian pushed his feelings to the back of his mind and focused on the mission.

Masterlist in bio

#Cassian Andor #cassian andor x ofc #cassian andor x reader #star wars #rogue one

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melanoradrood · 7 years ago

Text

So this is complete and utter shit, it’s unedited, it’s just a dumb idea, but literally... I’ve had this damn scene for the start of this fic in my head all fucking day, so I’m throwing it out there. Just... take this and idk.

It’s a pure miracle that anyone escapes. The fact that there’s so many, that so many ships had returned, that so many had been able to escape the beaches, that most of Blue Squadron was still alive, even the Profundity… but not everyone had escaped. Not everyone had lived. She hadn’t had time to stop, to check every body they had passed, to grasp the hands of the dying men… the Death Star had arrived, and if she was going to get Cassian off of that planet, get Bodhi to medical, save Chirrut’s life, save Baze from himself… she had to get them off the beach.

If Kay hadn’t added a secondary consciousness to the other KX unit they had passed…

He had only lost minutes of his memory, and had a new body, fully upgraded, and the ability to carry Cassian when Jyn could not. He could fly them and the ten others that were still alive, even Sergeant Melshi, off of the planet, all before Scarif was destroyed by the terrible weapon her father had built. It was alright, though. The very first things they had heard over the comm, once they were patched into the Rebel lines, was that the plans had been delivered. A good thing, given how the hard copy, the one labeled Stardust, had been shot by a Deathtrooper as Jyn ran towards the cargo ship they were on now.

She still had it with her, though, as the ship landed in the cargo bay. No matter the injuries on the other ships, she knew that those on the newly renamed Rogue Two were the most injured. They were the only ones to make it off the ground at Scarif, and no one in their group was uninjured. Somehow, Jyn looked to have taken the least hits of all, and she had broken her arm, was bruised and bloodied, and even had a blaster wound on her leg, right beside where the data files had been when they were shot.

Jyn would have been the last one down, making sure everyone else escaped, but Cassian… he was only barely still breathing. Falling had nearly broken his body, but climbing back up, climbing up to her, to save her… she had thought he was dying, and that was okay, because they were going to die on that planet together. Seeing Kay, seeing the ship, realizing that she might escape, that their bodies might escape, but that he might not live…

It wasn’t acceptable. That wasn’t in the equations. She had gone to Scarif with Cassian Andor walking beside her, step by step, knowing that her mission was his mission, that he believed in her, and she would be damned if she returned to Yavin, if she returned to the Rebellion, and she didn’t have him right beside her, every step of the way. And she would shoot anyone that got in her way of getting him to Medical.

“Please, we need a medic here. He’s the worst of the bunch,” she called out, and the crowd that was clamouring around them parted enough for medics to approach Kay, who was holding Cassian as steady as he could. His back, his spine… she had heard the crash of bone meeting metal, the sound reverberating in her ears, and she knew that the damage was extensive. He was laid out flat quickly, but the crowd was pushing around again, and there were so many on the ship, Chirrut now laid onto a bed, Bodhi’s shaking voice as he held onto his wrist, where his hand should be…

It was too much, so much. She had taken these people to Scarif, she had held onto the hope, she had tried to keep the dream alive, and yes, they had succeeded, but so many were lost, so many looked to her for salvation, and now their friends were around them, looking to see who lived, who they could help… she had seen out the window, before they had entered hyperspace, had seen the ships that had been destroyed…

And Cassian. Cassian might not live.

The reality of it all was crashing down onto Jyn, and whatever bit of strength she had held onto, whatever bit of sanity she had maintained, it was slipping fast. She had survived, she had carried out the mission, but so many were lost, the beaches covered in bodies, the pilots that had fired down, Saw, the Partisans on Jedha, the actual city of Jedha, her mama, her-

“Papa?”

The voice wasn’t hers, but it sounded… it sounded like a lost child, calling out for someone she loved, someone she needed, someone she relied upon, that she was scared was gone forever. The voice was not hers, but it sounded as she had, so long ago, calling out for him, hoping that the Man in White hadn’t taken him.

Was she losing her mind entirely? Was the stress of it all breaking her down, forcing Jyn to face the cruelties she had endured? Or, was there a child on this base, a child that was now missing a father, because Jyn had led them to their death. In truth, the first option was far more preferable. Enough children would lose their fathers in this war. None of them should be because of her.

“Oh, this is bad. This is very bad,” said Kay, and Jyn was startled to see that he was still standing beside her, rather than chasing after the medics that were taking Cassian from the hanger bay, and straight back to Medical.

She had been frozen for a moment, watching as the others were taken off, as Chirrut’s body was carried by Baze, as those that were missing blood and body parts were taken away… she should join them, should follow them. She was their Sergeant, promoted on the flight there. She was the one that had led them there. She was the one that had brought them home… with the help of Kay, of course. She should go with them, watch over all of them… especially Cassian.

“What is?” she asked, turning to look up at the droid.

If she could have described a shocked expression, it would be this. For once, the droid was speechless, which was concerning most of all. She had never seen him unable to find some sort of snapped remark, even when she had handed him a blaster, not that he remembered, or even really believed her now that she told him of it. To find him unable to speak now.

“I am not authorized to tell you, and yet, the probabilities of you discovering the truth are very very high, regardless of whether or not Cassian will survive.”

She had threatened to throw him off the ship if he had mentioned the percentages of Cassian’s possible survival… he had admitted that he refused to calculate them.

“Then tell me anyways, before I find out in some worse way.”

She was fixing him with a look that clearly said this was the only option, but some of the harshness had been lost, simply because she was too tired, too beaten down to fight it. The droid still looked unable to respond for a moment longer, and then-

“Kay? Kay, where is my Papa?”

Jyn was startled as she blinked, and saw a child, a very small child, standing next to Kay. She looked tiny beside the droid, only half of Jyn’s height as it were, but the droid was suddenly lowering himself down towards the child, and scooping her up, as tenderly as though he were a a child holding a kitten. What to make of this, she wasn’t sure.

“He was taken to medical, after sustaining an injury, but he will be quiet well soon enough. We were just going to check on him.”

Her head fell to the side as she blinked, first at the child that Kay was carrying like a parcel in his arms, and then up at the droid, who somehow looked softer. She understood this was a child, that the child was asking about her father, and she knew Kay… no one really trusted him, he was rarely out of even the hanger bay, as far as she was aware, and all because only Cassian held his trust, so for a child…

The pieces were all there, but putting them together was… creating a picture she had never imagined, couldn’t comprehend.

“Sergeant Erso, your arm is broken, and you have sustained multiple minor injuries. If you intent on fleeing, as you look to be considering, I recommend you do so after you have been looked at.”

She blinks again, and then follows for a few steps, hissing up at the droid, as though the little girl wouldn’t hear her. “Kay, what are you keeping from me? Just… just say it.”

The droid paused for a moment, then looked down at her. “This is the daughter of Cassian Andor.”

#unfinished fic alert #rebelcaptain #you held on tight ( and i built a home )

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theindifferentdroid · 7 years ago

Text

Proximal: Part 2 [Rebelcaptain]

Part 1

Summary: Jyn and Cassian meet in college, an unfortunate effect of a clerical error and happenstance.

A/N: Still sort of a setup chapter, but we’re getting there! I’ve had this written for weeks now and just never thought it was ready. It just needed to mature a bit in my computer for no reason, I guess. Enjoy!

Word count: 1,900+

Warnings: Language

Jyn had joined Cassian the following day, same room, same time. She'd been nervous about it all morning but was able to talk herself down as she climbed the stairs. Maybe it was how her hands and feet were finally thawing from the cold that made her feel better, warmer in her chest and her gut.

However, embarrassment washed over her the second she had opened the door – depressing the handle with her elbow and kicking it open with her boot, hands full. The room was blanketed with the smell of coffee, fresh coffee, confirmed by two cups on the table, one by Jyn's side of the table and one by Cassian, who was visible only once the door had shut.

A surprisingly unbashful grin crossed his face. "Morning."

"Hi," Jyn responded, flustered. "I, uh..." She held out a hand to him. "Brought coffee too. Sorry."

He rejected her apology, taking the coffee anyway. Cassian waited for their fingers to graze. Jyn did her best to avoid it.

"You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Yea. Well, neither did you. So..." Jyn trailed off as she took her seat at what was apparently established as her side of the table. Jyn ignored how the rushed familiarity of it made her chest sink a little.

It was quieter this time. Cassian had traded his laptop for a stack of notes, so there was less clicking and more shuffling. Both of them noticed the absence of the minute barrier between them today. Jyn managed to get some studying done, however. She was less likely to glance at him without the protection the laptop had afforded her.

Jyn never bothered herself with the corporeal distractions of a college student's life. Relationships and late nights out weren't her thing. Hook ups, she found, didn't take too much of her time, though, so she allowed it. Studying didn't come easily to her. She scraped by during the semester, testing off of what her short-term memory was able to give her, and committed herself to the life of a hermit during final exams, cramming her brain with any information it would take. Like now.

But with four exams left, and it being only Tuesday, Jyn's outlook was bleak. And it was all Cassian's fault.

At least that's what she told herself.

The time passed in nearly the same fashion as it had the day before. There was just more coffee this time around. And slightly more conversation.

Cassian cleared his throat, after about an hour of silence. "What are you studying?" His voice was hesitant, deep and unused, but he couldn't help his interest.

"Hm?" Jyn asked, looking up. It wasn't that she hadn't heard him – she had. She was more confused he had even asked.

Cassian's eyes were inquisitive, relaxed. And warm. Jyn caught herself staring before slamming her book shut to snap herself out of it. She stood the book upright and turned it to face Cassian. "Brit Lit," she said, with little inflection in her voice.

"Oh," Cassian remarked, in a sarcastic tone Jyn had only yesterday found grating. "Tantalizing."

Jyn let the book fall onto its face. The noise shook the small room. "Hey. Watch it."

Cassian leaned back casually in his chair, crossing his arms. "I'm sorry. You didn't seem like you were enjoying it."

"I'm an English major," Jyn said, opening her book again. "I'm supposed to enjoy it. I'm just having trouble doing that... right now."

Jyn wasn’t lying. Not really. Memorizing lines of The Canterbury Tales that she had barely remembered reading in the first place was not enjoyable. Though anything would have trouble vying for her attention with this beautiful man sitting in front of her.

That’s what he was, wasn’t he? Beautiful?

Fuck.

It seemed Cassian was a mind reader of sorts and ceased the conversation after that exchange, returning to his papers. Jyn opened her book, attempting, yet again, to retain the line-for-line memorizations.

The next two hours passed with fairly awkward silence. Despite the unfamiliarity of it all, Jyn found it surprising how easily Cassian had situated himself into her life. She found it even more surprising how okay she was with it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed the quiet presence of anyone other than Bodhi.

Jyn’s head snapped up from her book at the sound of a knock at the door. Her eyes were tired; she felt as if she hadn’t looked at anything but the fine print of her book in hours, which was likely true. She blinked a few times to focus on Cassian’s face and imagined the surprised look on his face mirrored hers. Before either of them could stand up, the door opened.

A random student poked his head in. "Hey, no rush, but I have the room next."

Cassian stole a quick glance at his watch before clamoring to his feet. He cursed under his breath, something unfamiliar. He swung his bag over his shoulder, draped his jacket over his arm and scooped up the papers in the other.

Jyn had barely closed her book before Cassian was swinging the door open to walk out. Disappointment pulled in Jyn’s chest, but Cassian turned just before letting go of the door. A hurried smile crossed his face.

“See you, Jyn.”

There were no promises of the room being shared again the next day.

Jyn tried to book the room herself once she left, but it wasn't available. When questioned, the receptionist denied that it was booked by someone named Cassian.

“Jyn!”

Jyn stopped short just outside the elevator, spinning around to search for who had whispered-shouted her name. The scene was dizzying. There were too many people in the library coffee shop to pick out where it had emanated.

"Jyn! Over here!" Bodhi stood up and waved his hand, Jyn shuffling over to him through the crowd to take a seat.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"Studying," Jyn said, her tone matter of fact.

Bodhi shot her a glance before he took a sip of his coffee. "Where exactly? This place is packed."

Jyn fiddled with the pen in her hair, avoiding Bodhi's gaze.

"Don't tell me you snuck into a study room again."

Jyn raised her eyes long enough to meet Bodhi's before they fell to the ground again.

"You know," he said, making a scene out of his books and papers strewn on the small table, "you could invite me next time. This environment isn't exactly conducive to studying."

Jyn bit her lip, choosing her next words wisely. "I, uh, couldn't invite you. It's rude for a guest to bring someone else."

Bodhi looked up from his notes, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. "Spill."

Jyn stood up quickly. "There's nothing to talk about. I have to go."

Bodhi grabbed her arm. "I know you don't have class until three o'clock. Sit."

Jyn huffed, but ultimately heeded Bodhi's request, plopping back into the seat dramatically. She began her story before Bodhi could ask specific questions, hoping to get ahead of any ideas he may have had. "So yesterday-"

"Yesterday?!" Bodhi interrupted excitedly.

Jyn only shot him a glance, one he knew all too well.

"Sorry. Continue." He gestured to her respectfully.

Jyn paused to give Bodhi a moment to collect himself before starting again. "I found an unlocked room yesterday, and it was fine all morning until some asshole showed up. I played the whole double-booked scenario. And he bought it."

She paused. Bodhi raised his eyebrows. "Until..."

Jyn groaned, running her hand across her face. "Until he left to get coffee. And he checked with the front desk. And he called me out."

Bodhi's laugh echoed through the small cafe, and he quickly covered his mouth, whispering a quick "Sorry" when eyes darted his way.

"Oh, Jyn." Bodhi paused, taking a deep breath to rid himself of any residual laughter. "That's –"

"But he invited me back and bought me a coffee," Jyn interrupted, hoping to get the rest of the story out quickly without drawing any more attention to it. "So he obviously wasn't that upset. So that's where I was. Studying."

It was quiet for a moment, and Jyn distracted herself with her backpack. Bodhi had seemed to be satisfied with the story. At least that's what Jyn presumed.

"Studying?" he asked, unconvinced.

Jyn slowly looked up at Bodhi, and his face said all Jyn needed to know. A lopsided smirk was creeping its way across his lips.

"Bodhi, no," she said, exasperated.

"Studying," Bodhi repeated, this time with added gestures to punctuate his tone, his fingers curling dramatically in the air.

"I'm leaving," Jyn declared flatly, grabbing her things. "Goodbye."

As she walked away, she heard Bodhi call after her, chiding her not to study too hard.

The quad outside the library was quiet, final exams scaring some sanctity into the campus for once. Jyn could appreciate that. The bitter wind also did its best to keep everyone inside. The cold bit at Jyn's neck briefly before she threw her scarf snugly around her, wrapping it around as many times as its length would allow.

Jyn headed a course for her next class in a hall across campus. She was early, but she'd camp out on the cold tile floor just outside the door like she was wont to do. At the very least she could glean some last minute information from her notes before taking her exam. It was Linguistics, which Jyn had absorbed generously over the course of the semester. The final did little to worry her.

Half way across the quad, it started to drizzle, the cold, almost misty rain prickling delicately on Jyn's face, the only part of her still exposed to the elements. She cursed under her breath and ducked into a nearby hall, already planning her reroute through campus. She could building hop from here; it wouldn't be too difficult.

The wind slammed the door shut just behind her, and Jyn felt a slight push on her backpack before she hopped out of the way. The hall was stifling, the air unmoved while the bodies of the students occupied the classrooms instead of the hall. Jyn tugged the scarf away from her neck, feeling suddenly suffocated, and began through the building. She was acutely aware of the squeak of her boots against the tile, just barely wet from the beginning of the rain.

Some doors were open in the classrooms, and the sounds of zippers and shuffling paper poured into the hall. The nervousness was palpable, the quietness explaining exams had begun, and little whispers of last minute questions had ceased. It was strangely comforting to be on the other side, albeit momentarily.

A voice echoed into the hallway and met Jyn's ears. It was down the hall, she could tell, and softly grew louder as she proceeded.

"... books away, please. If you do not know it by now, it is too late."

Jyn chuckled under her breath, the phrase familiar to her. She had heard it her fair share of times over the last three and a half years.

As she passed the room, a student spoke up. "Mr. Andor -"

"No, no more questions."

Jyn's steps ended in one harsh squeak of her boots, stopping just on the other side of the open door. That voice. It sounded familiar, recent.

It sounded like Cassian.

Jyn stood frozen with her shoulder against the wall, clinging tightly to the side of the hallway. She waited to hear anything else, but it was silent, save for what sounded like someone writing on the chalkboard.

Just as she had convinced herself to walk past the room again to take a look, the door shut.

#rebelcaptain fic #rebelcaptain #rebelcaptain imagine #college au #rebelcaptain au #my writing #rogue one fan fic

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literatiruinedme · 7 years ago

Text

Stubborn Love

He was still looking at her, though he seemed to be incredibly relaxed. Her chest tightened slightly at the smile on his lips. “What?”

“Just looking at you,” he shrugged, pulling the covers back for her. || T || 2072 words || ao3

Thanks @happilyswanjones for reading this, you’re perfect <3

Complete and total darkness. He’d somehow talked her into being blindfolded, him and his clever tongue, and she was surrounded by complete and total darkness.

“You’re doing beautifully,” he assured her, his hands landing softly on her hips. She didn’t jump per se , but she knew he’d recognise that he’d surprised her. His little laugh made her blush with embarrassment. “I promise,” he said, slowly trailing his hands up and down her sides. She wasn’t tied down, probably some insight from him on how she’d likely get too anxious at being restrained at some point before they were through and have to try again at a later date or never again- especially when she was already down one sense.

“Can you-” she paused, licking her lips. “Just, please keep talking.”

She knew he was frowning. “Are you alright?”

“Me?” Her voice sounded nervous even to her own ears. “Never better.”

She heard his knees crack as he crouched down in-between her thighs. Her chair creaked slightly when she shifted. His arms rested atop her thighs. “Jyn, what’s wrong?” She jumped again when she felt his lips brush her breast bone. “Come on,” he coaxed.

She shook her head, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat. “I’m fine.”

Before she could even think, Cassian was on his feet, pulling the blindfold from over her eyes and grabbing his jacket and draping it over her shoulders to offer her a breath of modesty. He knelt down again, taking one of her hands in his. “We really don’t have to do this,” he promised, pressing a kiss to each of her knuckles.

She pulled her hand from his and leaned down, cupping his face before she pulled his mouth to hers. The kiss was sweet, tender. She licked her lips when she saw the soft expression he offered her after they pulled back. He was so patient. She adored it. “Just give me a minute?”

He nodded, giving her a gentle smile. “We don’t have to-”

“I want to,” she promised, putting her arms through the sleeves of his vastly too-big jacket. “I just need to breathe.”

He nodded, leaning forward to wrap his arms around her waist and rested his face against her stomach. Her arms wrapped around his neck, one hand tangling in his hair as she’d done so many times before. She bit her lip when his beard scratched the tender skin of her belly. He chuckled, somehow noticing the reaction, and lightly scratched his chin over her stomach.

“Stop,” she laughed, not bothering to move her hands or her arms from around him.

“It’s fun to make you squirm,” he smirked, staring her down before he pounced, quickly rising to his feet, his mouth on hers in a heartbeat. She chuckled at the movement, her laughter quickly disintegrated as they fell into a heated kiss. Her hands tightened in his hair as he pulled her first to her feet, and then lifted her so she could wrap her limbs around his waist. He carefully walked them back towards their bunk, his mouth never wavering against hers. He set her down gently, their lips never leaving one another’s. One hand slowly trailed up her side, curving under her shoulder to hold her close as he settled between her thighs.

She pulled away, chewing on her bottom lip as she glanced up at him. She swallowed hard as her fingers gently traced along his jaw. “I want to try again,” she said slowly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, brows knitting together. “We don’t have to. If you’d rather just go to bed, I wouldn’t-”

“No,” she interrupted softly. “I want to.”

He was quiet for a moment, eyes searching her face before he nodded once. “Okay,” he said softly, kissing her hard once again before slowly pulling away. He pulled her into his lap when he sat up, producing the scarf from his back pocket. He straightened it out, refolding it a few times before he lifted the fabric up. “Close your eyes,” he said, waiting until she did so before carefully placing the fabric to block her line of vision. He tied a knot at a slight angle so she wouldn’t have to deal with it digging into her scalp when she lay back. He fiddled with the fabric for a few moments longer before his fingers trailed down her cheeks and his palm slid down to rest on her neck. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” she breathed, nodding after a moment of hesitation, the air slightly thicker than the last time they began.

“We can stop at any time,” he promised. She knew he was giving her that soft smile he always gave her when they were alone, the one that said he loved her so fiercely.

“I know,” she nodded, smiling and leaning into the hand he raised. “I want to try again, it’s just…”

“Not used to it?”

She chortled, turning her head to press a kiss into his palm. “Lot of trust.” He was so warm and safe; it made her heart ache.

He tangled his fingers in her hair just before pressing his lips to hers. “Of course.” He carefully helped her out of his jacket, laying her down on the bed. He pulled back as he slowly dragged his nails along her scalp, making her shift slightly from the pleasure, gasping at his touch. She could feel him grinning; he was shameless, after all. He pulled back from her slowly, her bottom lip between his teeth. Leaning over, his breath ghosted along her ear. “Put your hands over your head.” She nodded, following his instruction. She felt his weight shift and he leaned up. He slowly pressing kisses along the tender skin of her arms, his lips following a path over her shoulders and up her neck. His lips landed on a spot just behind her ear that never failed to make her whimper, her hands desperately clinging to the sheets so she wouldn’t move.

(He’d been all too excited to cuff her hands over her head when she’d touched him after being instructed not to in the past.)

She bit her lip when he dragged his tongue over the spot he’d been kissing, her left leg hitching over his. Her breath caught when she felt his fingers on her inner thigh. “Cassian.”

“Do you remember the night my mouth was on you for hours?” he whispered in her ear.

She swallowed hard, a rush of heat washing over her. She’d come over and over, feeling boneless and sated by the time he finally decided she’d had enough. His nose brushed along her cheek, snapping her back to reality. “Yes.” She didn’t mean to sound that breathless, fuck.

“Part of me wants to do that again.”

“I-”

“Of course, I do want to take advantage of you like this,” he confessed, unwrapping her leg from around him.

“Cassian, no-” She wrapped her arms around his neck, no longer caring about him telling her to keep her hands away. She bit the inside of her cheek when she realised how scared she may have sounded.

“Hey,” his tone changed instantly, one arm wrapping around her as the other slowly rubbed up and down her arm. “Talk to me.”

“I-” her voice cracked when Cassian reached up, carefully pushing the blindfold from over here eyes. He has a frown on his lips and love in his eyes, but his expression was one of concern. She frowned, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry.”

His small frown deepened. He carefully flipped them and pulled her into his lap in one fluid motion. “Don’t be sorry,” he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. “There’s no need for you to be.”

“But I-”

“Hey,” he breathed, thumb soothingly rubbing back and forth over her shoulder blade. “There is no reason for you to feel badly.”

“I should be able to handle a silly blind fold,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked down and off to the side, eyes focused on the sheets beside them.

His finger under her chin pulled her attention back to him. “We’ve both had our fair share of trauma,” he shrugged. “It’s understandable we have issues with random everyday items.” She chortled, her forehead against his, her hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. “You know I can’t have my wrists bound.”

Unless he was in a mission setting, he’d panic horribly at being restrained. She’d asked him to help her demonstrate with one of the training classes she’d taken on and he’d almost choked her in front of two dozen recruits. Her pained, Cassian, you’re hurting me, had quickly pulled him back and made a confused Han (the Alliance required he attend a class, she’d agreed it was stupid) order and escort everyone out. The room was cleared almost immediately while she’d uncuffed him. She’d held him when his knees gave out, when he’d found reality again and finally realised what had happened. He’d sobbed into her chest, his arms wrapped tight around her.

The bruising had lasted a week.

He wouldn’t touch her for two.

“We’re a mess,” she laughed sadly.

He pulled her tight against him. “I wouldn’t want to be one with anyone else.”

She smiled, fingers light against his skin and the side of his face. “I love you, too.”

He gave her a bashful smile, letting his chin fall against her chest. He looked up when her fingers trailed along his cheek. He closed his eyes as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. “Let’s get some sleep.”

“Probably a good idea,” she sighed. His hands fell to her hips. Neither of them made any effort to move. He let out a sigh, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. “Cassian?”

“Yes?”

“Can you let go of me so I can get a shirt?”

His head snapped up, his eyes wide with the sudden realisation that she was still naked. She laughed, fingers tangling in his hair. “Never thought I’d say this, but go put some clothes on.”

She leaned forward, kissing him hard. When she’s pulled back her followed before he realised himself, his cheeks turning a slight red tinge when she tugged his hair, leaning close to whisper in his ear. “You say that too frequently for my taste, but it’s funny every time.”

(He usually said it while frantically pulling on his trousers as he ran to open the door to their room or in a supply closet when they were late for a meeting. She’d always just grin and roll her eyes before complying.)

She nipped at his earlobe before crawling from his lap and stalking over to their set of dressers. She reached in, pulled one of his shirts and a pair of her panties out. She tugged the shirt over her head, the material soft with wear against her skin, before stepping into the pair of underwear he’d picked up as a gift for her the last time they were off-world. When she turned back, Cassian had moved to lay down under the covers. He was still looking at her, though he seemed to be incredibly relaxed. Her chest tightened slightly at the smile on his lips. “What?”

“Just looking at you,” he shrugged, pulling the covers back for her.

She smiled, walking back over to him. She pulled herself up onto the bunk, under the sheets and into his open arms. She curled up to him, her head tucked under his chin, one arm slung over his waist. “You think we’ll ever not be like this?”

He sighed, slowly rubbing his hand up and down her back. “Possibly?” He shrugged one shoulder. “I never thought that far into the future. Figured I wouldn’t live that long, so it wouldn’t matter.”

“And now?”

He huffed out a short breath. “I really don’t know.” He shifted under her, his arm tightening and then relaxing around her shoulders. “I think we’ll have time.”

“Time,” she breathed, leaning up to kiss the column of his throat. She settled back against him, a small smile on her lips. “What a novel little thing.”

“A luxury.”

She hummed, heavy eyelids slipping shut. “A luxury we may actually live to see.”

“Just maybe.” She knew he was smiling, his voice was so light.

“Hopefully,” she agreed.

He huffed a laugh. “Jyn?” She hummed. “Sleep.”

#rebelcaptain #jyn erso #cassian andor #rebelcaptain fic #rogue one fic #star wars fic #therebelcaptainnetwork #Rachael writes stuff

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scoundrels-in-love · 7 years ago

Note

tell me some of your jyn/cassian headcanons? (for the sleepover ask :D) and your top 5 rebelcaptain fic recs?

Ohhh boyy!! Diving into the good stuff!!

Okay, so, this will be kind of, like one big mess and got way out of hand.

1) Jyn discovers that she and Cassian share really odd trait - they both love to enjoy as much of bizarre and new things as they can, especially in food. More likely, she drags Cassian into this habit, after there is some semblance in their life, and forces him to indulge until he decides, kriff, it isn’t too bad.

Bodhi is mildly horrified by some of the ‘gourmet’ things they bring back. And most of the time, both Cassian and Jyn admit all these things taste horrible, but it’s an adventure, it’s the very chance to do this, the fact they have someone to share it with that makes it amazing experience.

2) Jyn has a love/hate relationship with rain. It reminds her so much of Lah’mu. The days she spent playing in the long grass near the farmstead. The overcast day her life fell apart. Cassian notices it and quietly decides to make as many good memories for her on rainy days as possible.

3) I will defend the idea that Jyn, Cassian and Bodhi are all somewhere on gray/asexuality spectrum. Jyn in particular as demisexual. I even had a fic about it somewhere, to be honest, but of course it’s not written/finished.

I just feel as if Jyn probably has had sexual relationships, forced by her lifestyle/to keep up cover, but they never run deep. There is never attraction, real one, just survival. Because there is never an emotional connection.

So it surprises and even scares her some, when the instinctive, rational need to keep physical distance from Cassian shifts into quite the opposite, when her eyes linger on his face (lips) for too long. She tells herself, he isn’t her type. But, fuck, has there ever been one? And so she is left wondering, how it would be like to kiss him, the man who is infuriating and loyal, whose small smile lights a small fire and longing to touch in her chest?

Their shoulders brush, lingering for too long. Perhaps… Perhaps there will be time. After everything.

4) It might be an unpopular opinion but Jyn and Cassian do not kiss in the elevator. They want to, but the words in their throats, threatening to spill, are too suffocating and everything is too blurry, too fading out and at the same too real, it would hurt too much to taste what cannot be kept.

So, when they survive, they are always all too aware of each other’s presence, on edge even. Everyone sees it. They do, too, but they just don’t have the right time, right words, right anything to express it.

It lasts until Hoth, they ignore the very obvious bets about when they’ll get this ‘over with’ and who will make the first move. (Even Bodhi joins in. Chirrut is probably one of the founders of this movement.) And then, one night, perhaps a mission goes slightly awry or they have a bit too much to drink, their defenses just fall apart and they end up kissing like their lives depend on it. (They do.)

In some ways, it’s not easier after. They both still don’t know how to handle the relationship, don’t know how to label this something between them, even. But they’re the type of people who don’t need words as much as they need actions. And Force knows their actions are already signature of love all the kriffin time.

And when their Rogue Family points it out, they just smile to each other and feel like home.

5) The day Death Star is destroyed, it’s both a day of celebration and mourning for them. The day news of new Death Star reaches rebellion, Cassian breaks. It’s not anything obvious, but the light dies in his eyes and he seems to simply become a shadow. Jyn and Rogue Family try to coddle him for a short while, before she loses her temper and straight up tells him: We stopped it once, we can do it again.

And they will just start over again, he replies in faded out voice.

Then we will blast them to spacedust again. And again. Until they cannot stand up anymore. And you’d better fucking help me. You told me you’d be with me, until the end.

It is surprisingly effective.

I just realized you didn’t ask for 5 headcanons… But now that they’re typed up, I don’t wanna take them down.

Okay, this will be hard, I love so many fics. But @dogtorbones Pile of Bones series is amazing. The whole Rogue Family surviving, having real physical and emotional traumas, dealing with them accordingly, lot of cussing and amazingly built backstory + explored ‘minor’ character. ‘Nuff said. Seriously, go read it. It’s refreshing, raw and just great.

spes semper mihi adest is a heartwrencher. But it does so with mournful grace. It is realistic and beautiful, and everything that we could picture in the aftermath. It takes on issues many writers would avoid and does so perfectly. It is a bittersweet song. It heals as much as it hurts. And that’s a craftmanship I can admire and weep over.

Another series that will always remain as one of the TOP faves in this fandom for me: Won’t you Let Us Wander My favorites are probably the first three, but hot damn, they’re ALL great. Characterization is on point, their voices I can hear in my head. And there are so many emotions, so many. It’s not straight up emoting and angst, too, no it’s good mix of action and the future of galaxy spinning further and further out of control and how Rogue Family struggles to regain some of it over their own lives. It’s just perfect.

fingerprints still mapped on her skin is like one big headecanon for canon moment. It’s beautiful, striking and just something I wish we could have seen on the screen. This is my ‘deleted scene’ fic.

Steady as she goes and Somewhere Slowly are pretty inseparable to me and I love them to death. You can never take away the idea Jyn gets a K2 model for Cassian to upload K2′s backup on from me. You just can’t. Besides, everything else about it perfect, too. Every Rogue Family member is just them and killing you with feels. It’s just beautiful.

Send me a Sleepover Sunday ask!

#rebelcaptain #rogue one #rogue family #jyn erso #cassian andor #star wars #rainy rambles #lovely people #lovely shipmates #rainy day conversations

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invaderhogtwopointohno · 7 years ago

Text

What Now?

Summary: Rogue One AU- After World War II, Father Andor has been struggling with his faith in anything, especially God. After being in hell, how can he possibly return to a normal life? When he is sent to a small parish in the middle of a small island of Scariff, he is faced with a serious problem when a young housemaid is killed and everyone is pointing their fingers at each other.

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Based on a prompt by @rapidashpatronus and @sambargestuff

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Read at A03 (Here)

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“The soldier above all prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.” –Douglas MacArthur

“May the peace of the Lord be with you!”

Cassian instantly in his mind went to the age old “And also with you” but was annoyed because that was not his part. He looked at the front steps of the Tower and saw a man sitting on the steps, saying this heartily to everyone who entered.

He was the Chinese man that the Mayor had told him about. He was holding out his hat as people passed, happy to collect whatever he could get his hands on.

“Doing the Lord’s Work, Brother Churrit,” Jyn said sarcastically and he smiled at her.

“Ah, Jyn. Glad that you could make it to the Tower. And Father Andor, I presume. I have been unable to get to the church Father, these past few days, so I had yet to officially meet you.”

The blind man stood up and took Cassian’s hand, shaking it firmly and he had a mischievous feeling about him that Cassian was wary of. But he noticed that Jyn was instantly completely at ease, so there was nothing to be concerned about. Another wayward soul for him to worry about the salvation of.

“Good evening, son,” Cassian said, shaking the man’s hand and he stood up, heading inside with them.

“I was wondering when we would finally meet,” Churrit said, Bodhi leading the way up the steps.

“I was wondering the same, I would have thought you’d be at the church since I hear that you have been preaching the good word there every day before my arrival.”

“Well, I was at first, but I find that I am no priest, better disciple than anything else. And people around here tend to not quite appreciate a man like myself telling them what to do.”

Cassian hadn’t even had the chance to perform a mass yet, and he was already feeling the same way. They reached the top of the stairs and heard the loud music inside. They found that the entire town had trickled in and the massive tower was fully lit and in swing. There was dancing and a bar. Churrit moved to find someone else and Cassian lost Bodhi in the crowd. He looked over to see that Jyn was still near but he had a feeling that she wouldn’t want to stay in his presence for long.

“Do you dance?” he asked.

She looked surprised, as if she just noticed that they were abandoned just now. She looked around as if expecting her brother there, but was alone.

“Uh…” she said, looking back at him as if to say something when the sound of a loud scream stopped everything. Cassian and Jyn looked at the massive marble staircase and found a woman hurrying down, screaming and covered in blood.

“Someone help me!” she screamed. Cassian started for the stairs, hurrying up them and finding Jyn right next to him.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked.

“Upstairs!” she cried, falling onto the steps and crying. Downstairs the villagers were all talking and scared. Jyn went ahead, and much to Cassian’s surprise, pulled out a gun from under her jacket as if she were a policeman. He followed her up the stairs, staying one step behind her.

“Where’d that come from?” he asked quietly. He had a weapon as well, from his time in the war, but it was safely tucked in his mattress back at the church. He wished he had it now.

“A girl’s got her own secrets,” she said, and they followed the trail of blood the maid left in her wake. They reached a large library and the doors were hanging open. She looked at Cassian and then went around the corner, finding a single body lying on the floor. She moved through the room but it was clear.

Cassian came around the corner and crossed himself when he saw the body of a young housemaid, lying in a deeply large pool of her own blood, shot. There was a lot of blood spatter and footprints from the other maid. She was probably trying to help her up when she got covered and took off running. Cassian went to the body and checked.

“She’s dead.”

---

There had not been a murder on Scariff since the days when Vikings raided everything in sight. It took two hours for a boat from the mainland to come with the police. There were no police on Scariff, it was much too small.

Cassian was giving last rites to the body and saying a prayer when the detective finally entered the room.

“Father Andor, I ask that you please step away from the body.”

Cassian knew that voice. He turned and standing in a smart suit and jacket was none other than his old army buddy, Kaytoo Eso, a British intelligence officer, a part of his unit. His sharp features and striking blonde hair made him look as German as the next man and perfect for spy work. He had been a very quiet man but found friendship with Cassian.

“Kaytoo,” he said, standing up and hugging the newcomer. Jyn straightened from where she had been leaning in the doorway.

“Who’s this then?” she asked, looking the detective over.

“Detective Kaytoo Eso,” Kaytoo said sharply, eyeing her, “Formally a Captain in the British Army.”

“Kaytoo and I served together,” Cassian said, looking at Jyn and smiled reassuringly. She made a face and crossed her arms.

“Interesting that you’re here investigating this now,” she said, looking the detective over.

“Well, this island might be Spanish, but the victim was a British citizen on visa, so Scotland Yard sent me. I happened to be in Madrid, so I made the trip over, naturally. And who is this?”

“Jyn Erso,” she said, refusing his outstretched hand and he took a hold of his notebook from his jacket.

“Jyn Erso. You found the body?” he asked, and she shook her head.

“Maid did. The girl was shot.”

“You have a gun on you, I see,” he said, though Jyn had returned her weapon to her jacket, so Cassian couldn’t see how he knew it was there.

“I have a pistol, yes. But I didn’t shoot anyone.”

“I never said you did.”

“Enough, the both of you. This girl was murdered. Let’s focus, please,” Cassian said and they both looked at him.

“Yes, Detective Father Andor,” Kaytoo said sarcastically and went around him, going towards the body. The other policemen started filing in, taking pictures and speaking in low voices. Cassian and Jyn approached the body with Kaytoo. He pulled back the bedsheet that Cassian had asked cover the body until they arrive, so the poor girl wasn’t exposed to the eyes of the onlookers from downstairs.

“Jyn?”

She looked up to see the timid Bodhi standing at the door, looking worried. He paused and went inside of the room, not looking at the body but focusing on his sister.

“I was going to go home, but I didn’t want to leave you,” he muttered, Cassian looking at the girl under the sheet.

“You don’t want to see this,” Jyn said gently, looking over her shoulder and he nodded. “Why don’t you go ahead and I will be there as soon as this detective let’s me go.”

He nodded and left her quietly, Kaytoo standing up and moving around the body.

“What do you think?” Cassian asked, and he shrugged.

“One shot, right to the chest. Girl bled out slowly, so that means it wasn’t meant to be quick. She suffered, for at least an hour or two,” Kaytoo said, and Jyn walked back over, crossing her arms.

“No one heard a gunshot, the music must have been too loud.”

“Thank you, Detective Erso,” Kaytoo said, and Cassian moved to stand next to Jyn.

“How did the maid find her?” Cassian asked.

“What do you mean?” Jyn asked, looking at him. He looked around the room, pointing out the features.”

“The Bachanalia is going on outside, there are loud prayers and a fire going, music so loud that no one can think straight, and yet the maid came wandering in here looking for another maid? Seems odd, don’t you think?”

“Okay, who’s the detective here?” Kaytoo said, sounding exasperated.

“Why the library?” Jyn asked, turning and facing Cassian. “Seems like a rather odd place to get shot. Why was she even in here?”

“Good question,” he said, turning and mimicking her stance. Kaytoo threw up his hands.

“Look, the two of you are civilians, you are not police. So please stop having conversations like you know what you’re talking about.”

“Kaytoo, you may be a brilliant detective, but you don’t know this island, Jyn does,” Cassian said, looking at him, “You’re not going to get what you want out of the locals, they won’t trust you. Jyn is the only person who’d be able to get them talking.”

“What about you?” Kaytoo asked, crossing his arms.

“I am a priest, anything that anyone confesses to me is private, I can’t tell anyone,” he said, as if it were obvious. “And honestly I have only been here a few days, no one trusts me yet, either.”

“Fine then. Detective Erso,” he said, emphasizing the word ‘detective,’ “What do you think happened here?”

“I don’t know,” she said, making a face, “But I do know that if you want that kind of information, you need to know who this girl was.”

“Miss Tara Masters,” a voice said and they turned to look at the entrance. Standing there was the man in white, Orson Krennic.

“Mr. Krennic, I presume,” Kaytoo said, straightening and putting his hands behind his back. Probably more out of military habit than actually being a policeman. Cassian found himself straightening a little as well. The man was wearing a white suit and carrying himself like a military officer, and smiled at them both.

“I am, sir. I just returned from telegramming the poor girl’s mother. She came to work for me about two months ago.”

Cassian looked at the body under the sheet. He remembered that name. Why? He closed his eyes and tried to remember.

“Father?”

He looked up from the piano, surprised to see someone so early in the afternoon coming into the church. It had been empty all day. He turned and faced her.

“Yes, my child?”

“I wish to know when I may confess?” she asked, looking nervous. He smiled.

“Anytime. Please,” he said, indicating to the booth but she shook her head.

“Not now… I just… wanted to…”

She trailed off and looked at the entrance like she was waiting for something. He stood up but she moved towards the door.

“I will come back again, thank you, Father.”

He looked at Jyn and she seemed to understand him, but did not say anything. He looked at Kaytoo.

“Well, Detective, if you don’t need us, we will go ahead and leave you for the evening,” he said, and reached out, gently taking Jyn by the elbow. She looked surprised but did not pull away like he thought she might and they both left the library quickly, heading down the marble staircase quickly.

“What’s going on?”

“That girl, she came to confess something to me the first day we met,” he said, talking quietly, “But she never told me what it was, she ran off before she could gather the courage. But I have a feeling it might have been why she was murdered.”

“Then why aren’t you saying that to Detective Asshole back there?”

“Because I know Kaytoo, he’s an excellent person, but he’s a terrible liar, and if he knew that I knew something, he wouldn’t be able to hide it. If we want to find out the truth, we’re going to have to do things a little under the radar.”

“We?” she asked, as they reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked at her.

“Well, who else do I know carries a pistol in her jacket to a party?” he asked, smiling and she made a face.

“Funny.”

“I mean it, Jyn, if we’re going to find out who killed this girl, we’re going to have to work together.”

She paused, as if thinking about it. Clearly she didn’t want to get involved, but Cassian had a valid point. This was clearly a dangerous situation and he seemed like the type who could get himself shot at easily. And while he was a priest, she wasn’t, so anything they learned, she could repeat. She nodded at him finally.

“Fine, but we tell my brother everything so he doesn’t worry. Meet me at my house in the morning.”

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A/N: Sorry for such a late update, finally got a day off after working two straight weeks in a row. Introducing the good Detective Kaytoo!!! More about him and Cassian’s relationship coming soon!!

#rogue one #rogue one au #world war 2 au #post world war two #rebelcaptain #jyn erso #cassian andor #k2-so #murder mystery au

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myriadimagines · 8 years ago

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Life Is Too Short To Not Show Your Love

Star Wars (Rogue One) One Shot

Characters: [FEMALE] Reader x Chirrut Imwe + Baze Malbus, Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor & Bodhi Rook

Warnings: implications of death

Request: “one shot where the reader convinces Chirrut to elope with her because she knows they probably won't last long in the rebellion” - anonymous

Word Count: 1,506

A/N: I feel like I haven’t written about Chirrut in ages !! hope it was okay (because tbh i know nothing about marriages) !

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You lazily rolled over onto your stomach as you watched Chirrut slowly stroll towards the desk, pouring two mugs of tea from the kettle you had snuck into your shared room. You smiled to yourself as you hugged the pillow to your chest, the bed still warm from where Chirrut was laying down. Chirrut strolled back to you, carefully making sure not to spill the tea he was carrying, and handed you a cup. You grinned as you sat up and wrapped your hands around the cup, relishing the warmth the seeped into your fingertips. You took a small sip, before leaning over to kiss Chirrut on the cheek.

“Thanks, Chirrut.” you said, and Chirrut beamed at you before taking a sip from his own drink. The two of you had been dating for quite some time now. You had met on Jedha, where you were worked at one of the stalls at the local market. Chirrut came to visit you every day, gradually working up the courage to finally ask you out.

“If you don’t ask her out, Chirrut,” Baze groaned, rolling his eyes. “I swear, I’m going to ask her out for you. And that’s not going to look good.”

Chirrut chuckled at the memory, and you have him a quizzical look. You thought he had asked you out because it was about time, but in reality, Baze had threatened Chirrut into doing it, because Baze was tired of watching Chirrut pine over you.

After the first date, where Chirrut had brought you to an empty rooftop to dance underneath the stars, the two of you were inseparable. Always at each other’s sides, holding hands or your arms looped around one another’s. Chirrut taught you how to fight and how to defend yourself, and you became quite skilled in combat. So of course, when the Holy City descended into battle because of the extremist Rebels, you were right next to Chirrut and Baze, fighting off stormtroopers. And from there, it was a whirlwind of events. Getting captured by Saw Gerrara, escaping Jedha with Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor, Bodhi Rook and K-2SO, watching from a grubby ship window as the planet you once called home disintegrated and exploded beneath you. If Chirrut wasn’t beside you the whole time to comfort you, you knew you probably would’ve gone mad.

Now, after the crew had returned from Eadu, where Jyn’s father was, everyone was in the Rebel base, unsure of what to do next. The Empire had a weapon that could obliterate planets, and unless the weapon was destroyed, the battle against the Empire was surely lost.

You never thought you would be part of the Rebellion, yet here you were.

“Do you think Jyn has a plan?” you asked softly, and Chirrut took a long sip of his tea. “Surely she must have something in mind.”

“I have no doubts about that.” Chirrut agreed, setting the cup down. He reached across your lap to gently take your hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “What is on your mind, y/n?”

“Do you love me, Chirrut?” you suddenly asked, and Chirrut’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You know that I love you with all my heart.” Chirrut responded, and you took a deep breath. You reached for his other hand, holding it in your lap as you sat up straighter.

“Let’s get married, then.” you blurted, and Chirrut chuckled. You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful shove, but you were grinning too. “I’m serious!”

“I know you are.” Chirrut said, rubbing his thumb over your hand. “I don’t know, y/n, with all that’s happening…”

“That’s exactly why I want to get married.” you interrupted, and Chirrut raised his eyebrows. “Face it, Chirrut, you know fighting against the Empire will probably get us killed.

“The thought has crossed my mind.” Chirrut responded truthfully, and your reached a hand out to gently touch his cheek.

“Then let’s just run away and get married!” you said quietly.

“You really want to elope?” Chirrut asked, and you laughed, realizing how spontaneous and ridiculous it sounded.

“It’ll just be a day.” you said, thinking it through. “Then we just get back to the base like nothing happened. We could ask Baze to help. Chirrut, please.”

A small smile had settled on Chirrut’s face, and he lifted both hands to hold your face. He leaned forward to kiss your forehead, nodding.

“Okay.” he smiled, and you squeezed his arm excitedly.

“Really?” you squealed, and he laughed at your excitement. He got to his feet, pulling you up with him, and looked around.

“I’ll find Baze,” he said quickly, and you nodded enthusiastically. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“I wouldn’t want to elope with anyone else.” you replied, and the smile on Chirrut’s face told you he was thinking the same thing

While the two of you had originally planned for only Baze to be at the ceremony, somehow, the rest of the crew got involved. Jyn had thrown her arms around you when she met you outside the Rebellion compound, a huge smile on her face.

“Congratulations!” she whispered in your ear, and you excitedly hugged her back. Cassian and Bodhi smiled at you and Chirrut, and you looked behind Cassian expectedly.

“No K-2?” you asked, and Cassian laughed.

“I managed to convince him to stay behind,” Cassian shrugged. “So he can cover for us, if anyone notices we’re missing.”

“Well, they will if we don’t get a move on.” Baze grunted behind Chirrut, and everyone grinned as they grabbed their bags. “Let’s get a move on.”

Baze looked around the hangar to make sure it was empty. It was very early in the morning, and the sky was still engulfed in darkness. Throwing a bag into a speeder, Baze climbed inside, the rest of you following suit. Chirrut sat in the front with Baze, while you, Jyn, Cassian and Bodhi squeezed into the back.

“Where are we going?” Bodhi asked as Baze ignited the engine and maneuvered the speeder out of the hangar. He caught your eye in the rearview mirror, and a small smile crept onto his face.

“It’s a surprise.”

You still couldn’t believe how beautiful the place was.

Baze explained that he had found it whilst he was exploring the planet one day, and you were still in awe at how magnificent it was. You were standing on a grassy field, a waterfall splashing behind you into a crystal clear lake. You closed your eyes to savor the crisp, cool air that filtered through the trees. The sun was just beginning to rise, painting the sky in an array of oranges, pinks, and blues. You turned around to excitedly grab Chirrut’s hand, who was beaming next to you.

“It’s so beautiful, Chirrut.” you breathed, and Chirrut squeezed your hand.

“I can tell by how excited you sound.” he responded, laughing. Jyn and Bodhi had scattered flowers they had picked around the field, occasionally throwing some at each other playfully whilst Cassian handed Baze a pair of rings. Baze smiled and looked over at the two of you, clearing his throat.

“We should get started.” he said, and you giggled as you pulled Chirrut over to where Baze was standing. Jyn and Bodhi excitedly gripped each other’s arms as Baze began to announce your marriage. You tried your best to focus, but you were too ecstatic to listen.

Baze finally presented the rings, and you guided Chirrut’s hand to pick one up. He slid it onto your finger, and you slid the other ring onto his finger.

Smiling, Baze put his hands together.

“Chirrut, do you take y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?” he asked, and Chirrut nodded.

“I do.” he said, squeezing your hands.

“y/n, do you take Chirrut to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Baze turned to you, already knowing the answer.

“I do.” you grinned. Before Baze could finish his sentence, you had already thrown your arms around Chirrut and kissed him, and Cassian, Jyn and Bodhi cheered loudly as Baze said the final sentence.

“Then, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

You absentmindedly twisted your ring around your fingers as the ship lurched into action. You had just heard Bodhi dub the crew as ‘Rogue One’, and smiled to yourself. You liked the name.

Chirrut came and sat next to you, pressing his leg up against yours. The Rebels were headed to steal the plans on Scarif, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t scared.

“How are you doing, my lovely wife?” Chirrut chuckled, and you smiled at him. Ever since you had gotten married, Chirrut couldn’t stop calling you his wife.

“I am doing fine, husband.” you responded, giggling at yourself. Chirrut smiled and leaned over to kiss your forehead, and you leaned into him. You had no idea how long this would last, but you knew one thing was for certain: you were glad you did it. Life is too short to not show your love.

#rogue one one shot #star wars one shot #chirrut imwe one shot #rogue one #rogue one imagine #star wars #star wars imagine #chirrut imwe #chirrut imwe imagine #reader x chirrut imwe #chirrut imwe x reader #reader insert #one shot #imagine #imagines #fanfiction #fan fiction

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sophygurl · 8 years ago

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Rebel Scum: Finding Hope in Resistance - WisCon 41 panel write-up

These tend to be long and only of interest to specific segments of folk so click the clicky to read.

Disclaimers:

I hand write these notes and am prone to missing things, skipping things, writing things down wrong, misreading my own handwriting, and making other mistakes. So this is by no means a full transcript.

Corrections, additions, and clarifications are most welcome. I’ve done my best to get people’s pronouns and other identifiers correct, but please do let me know if I’ve messed any up. Corrections and such can be made publicly or privately on any of the sites I’m sharing these write-ups on(tumblr and dreamwidth for full writings, facebook and twitter for links), and I will correct ASAP.

My policy is to identify panelists by the names written in the programming book since that’s what they’ve chosen to be publicly known as. If you’re one of the panelists and would prefer something else - let me know and I’ll change it right away.

For audience comments, I will only say general “audience member” kind of identifier unless the individual requests to be named.

Any personal notes or comments I make will be added in like this [I disagree because blah] - showing this was not part of the panel vs. something like “and then I spoke up and said blah” to show I actually added to the panel at the time.

Rebel Scum: Finding Hope in Resistance

Moderator: Anika Dane. Panelists: Becky Allen, Sandra Ulbrich Almazan, William Paimon

#RebelScumResist - for the livetweets and other thoughts on the panel

Anika introduced herself and talks about how she fell in love with Vader early on and said that Star Wars saved her sanity. She has the tumblr politicalpadme.

Sandra introduced herself and talked about doing Star Wars costuming for charity and said she is “a part time Jawa”. She shows off her Leia T-shirt which reads “A woman’s place is in the resistance”.

Becky introduced herself as a YA author who is heavily influenced by Star Wars. Rey is her favorite, but she aspires to be Leia.

William introduced himself as a psychologist. Han is his favorite rebel - not as a good person but as a piece of shit who stumbles into being a better person.

Anika said starting with the middle stories - the first 3 - as being most about rebellion. How do these movies inspire you as ways to rebel?

Becky talked about Rogue One - specifically Bodhi Rook and how he became a rebel from having been a mercenary for the other side. Also Finn from The Force Awakens.

Sandra talked about the animated Star Wars Rebels series - small groups of rebels who became part of the larger movement.

William also noted Rogue One - Baze and Chirrut specifically. There were so many relevant characters in RO who were mostly side or background characters. Their moments of sacrifice in RO were intense and beautiful.

Anika asked about cautionary tales, for example - a character who goes too much to one extreme. (At this point, someone in audience’s phone goes off and it’s the Star Wars theme lol)

Becky talked about RO and how it took place in a larger world that we didn’t get to see much of. We’re not sure, as the audience, what the extremists did that the other rebels didn’t like so much. Another example is in Luke’s training - finding out he could go dark and deciding not to, even though doing so could help him win and save more people.

William said RO shows the toll resistance can take - the costs and damage. Again, with Luke, he killed millions of people on the Death Star. “There’s no way there’s not a day care center there.” [IDK about that but ok...]

Sandra brought up an earlier panel at the con - These Are Not the Stories We’re Looking For. In RO, there were all these discussions within the rebellion about what actions to take.

Anika mentioned the line in RO that is said twice - “Rebellions are built on hope.” This idea was passed from one character to another and then finally to all of them. Jyn and Cassian are both fairly jaded - so why is hope such a big part of their rebellion.

Sandra answered that if there is no hope of change - what is the point of resisting at all?

Becky talked about the election in November being followed by RO in December. It was so resonant because she had been feeling so scared and hopeless. The characters in RO don’t know that their sacrifices went anywhere. It helped with the idea that she can do things and not know the affect she’s having - but those things can be doing something; the idea that if we know we’re all together in this - we have a hope of winning.

William talked about the characters in RO being very different people with different values and not always liking one another - but they were held together with their hope and with their need to fight.

Sandra emphasized that the final word in the film was the word “hope.”

Anika brought up how hope is passed on with the Death Star plans and passed on through Leia. How is hope passed on through the generations? No major character in the series is raised by their birth parents, so how is hope passed on through family, friends, and loved ones?

Sandra answered that the mentor-trainee relationship is one big way it’s passed on. Also mentioned how C-3PO and R2-D2 are in all the films - how do they pass it on?

Becky said that in TFA, the new generation doesn’t have any clear living memory of what had happened before. Is Luke real, is the force real, etc.? The search for Luke is the search for hope.

Anika brought up Bail Organa who raised Leia. While there is a lot of Vader in Leia, we can see how Bail raised her to be a shinning hope for the entire universe.

Becky talked about the different ways those familial relationships affected things. Jyn was raised by extremists and ends up pretty jaded. Poe is raised in victory and has a very positive and plucky attitude.

Anika mentioned the end of Empire, the celebrations, and the statue of Palpatine being taken down. It’s unrealistic - we’re still fighting about confederacy statues here!

Becky talked about how the stories told affect us. Luke was raised believing his father was an important rebel - the clash of discovering the truth and how that affected his decisions going forward.

Sandra brought up the problems of people being so surprised about what’s happening in these stories. Why is there so much disagreement about it? Well, some of them (Rey and Luke for example) were raised on backwater planets. The questions about if the resistance is even needed are because messages aren’t being spread far and wide.

William compares this to us today - people voting against obamacare but loved their ACA. An audience member asks if the SW universe has no internet. William suggests that perhaps literacy is not even widespread in this universe. People don’t know their own history - they only have oral storytelling. A member of the audience says that disinformation can be very hard to fight psychologically.

Becky said she is studying her own family history and it’s difficult to go back further than a generation or two.

Anika brought up the prequels. Padme’s line about this war represents a failure to listen. This represents the entire series, really. No one is communicating with one another or listening much when they do - even when on the same side. Only one talking to everyone ... is Palpatine. How do we combat this? There doesn’t seem to be an answer in Star Wars.

Sandra mentions C-3PO and R2 - they’re in it from the beginning and have a lot of knowledge. R2 is the smartest but very few can understand him. C-3PO is a translator but no one wants to listen to him!

Becky emphasizes that people with privilege have to listen and lift up the voices of more marginalized people. We have to get on the same page, but that page has got to include all of these other things even if - especially if - those things don’t affect me personally.

William talked about how people become focused on their own lives and don’t look at what’s happening on a broader scale.

An audience member brought up that the basis of SW is anglo-centric individualist hero’s journey. RO shifts that a bit into being about a community of heroes.

William adds that even in RO the extremist is a black man.

Anika asks how do we form our own rebel alliance and use SW to bring a message of hope?

Sandra said it’s about ordinary people coming together and how that can draw power [okay there was a whole lot of stuff here about the laws of power that I just blocked out because I can’t with that].

Becky talked about the themes of hope and also of warnings in the movies - if we don’t do the work (beyond just blowing up the Death Star), the Empire will come back. Fandom is community/communities - we need more communication and active listening among these communities. Fandom can give a foundation for community action.

William added that we need to build access - the world kids live in today, they have a lot of access to information and conversations that took us older folks a lot longer to get to.

Becky stated that adults who interact with kids need to help them think critically about what they’re reading and talking about online. Help them apply stuff like conversations about privilege to their real lives.

An audience member talked about a 20-something nephew who is both a SW fan and a tea partier. They think of themselves as the rebels.

Anika brought up an article online - someone saying they grew up wanting to be Luke Skywalker, but joined the army and found themselves part of the Empire instead. We love underdogs and we all like to think of ourselves as the underdog. Using fandom to reach people can be problematic because we all personalize the stories we read and watch.

An audience member added that with The Hunger Games, the right sees themselves as the rural downtrodden folk and the capitol as the liberal elite.

Becky also added that Captain America resonates with all sides politically in this country. She asks “why are we fighting different Empires?”

William talked about the narrative appetite for violent rebellion. It’s strong with the right with narratives about confederacy, for example.

Becky said that we can all see ourselves as Luke, but certain segments freaked out about Rey, Finn, and all of Rogue One’s cast. It felt like the franchise was being taken away from them, when really it was being given to more people.

Sandra stated that everyone is the hero of their own story [not always true ime, but yea].

An audience member brought up Galen as a character working within the system. This idea of collaboration vs. rebellion.

William said that Galen made him really uncomfortable, and compared it to stories of people working within the Nazi’s in order to help Jewish people escape.

Becky stated that very few people are all good or all bad. We all do what we can, but at the same time - maybe don’t build the Death Star?

Sandra said that Galen knew they could make it without him, so he felt his only option was to build it but put in the flaw.

Anika brought up how Jyn was raised by Galen and Saw - extremes on either side of the rebellion with different ideas of how to fight. How does that affect her?

After a whole discussion about media, the spread of info, storytelling vs. entertainment in the SW universe (sorry did not catch it all down in my notes), Anika stated that Trump is not Palpatine. Trump is Jabba the Hutt.

An audience member brought up Uncle Owen as showing how invested you can be in the status quo - even if that status quo is terrible. Becky added that Owen told Luke - your dad was a rebel fighter and he died, so don’t do that. But Luke was like - omg my dad was a hero and died for his cause, I wanna be just like him! (somewhere in there she also stated “if you don’t like the Ewoks, you can fight me!” lol)

William said Owen was right - Luke got into the fight and everyone died. This idea of survival vs. resistance.

Becky talked about how Owen was all about surviving another day while ignoring the terrible things happening. We have to have hope that we can fight this. But the Empire was going to come for Luke anyway...

Anika mentioned Jyn’s line about being able to ignore the Imperial flag as long as you don’t look up...

Anika then asked the panelists what they’re doing for the resistance.

Sandra talked about joining groups to fight gerrymandering and calling representatives on issues.

Becky said she’s become more aware of politics on the local level. There was recently a specific election in just her district that she might not have known about a year ago. She stressed the importance of knowing all of your reps. She also continues to write about these themes in her own writing.

William talked about using his job working with kids to support where they’re coming from. An example was adjusting the bathroom policy in school system. Him coming in as a white male doctor and using that power to get the issue taken more seriously has helped.

Becky concluded - “I fight straight white men more now. My discomfort is worth getting through to people.”

#rebelscumresist #wiscon #wiscon 41 #wiscon41 #wc41 #rebel scum resist #star wars #hope #resistance

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imsfire2 · 8 years ago

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News

[Okay, I’m afraid “Undercover” as a theme isn’t biting me particularly; so here’s something more for yesterday’s rebelcaptain writing prompt, “Comfort”]

News

The hotel reception is quiet, lamps burning along the terrace, when they get back from their celebratory meal. Relatively little drinking has gone on; he’s fairly sure Jyn didn’t touch a drop, and Cassian only had a couple of glasses. But then, as the days have passed and he’s begun to catch up on sleep and to relax, he too is suddenly finding that alcohol has an unexpectedly strong kick. Where it once took a whole bottle to get Bodhi drunk, a week on Naboo has reduced his capacity to a startling extent. He tells himself it’s the fresh air, and being tired out from all the hiking and swimming; and perhaps too from letting himself hope at last. He doesn’t need to hide himself or blind himself anymore, he can just look up and see the world, and not be afraid.

And now Jyn and the Captain are engaged. Well, it’s been an open secret for almost as long as he’s known them (& he giggles, suddenly remembering the night he found out, and the chagrin on their faces as they realised the door was unlocked). So their relationship will no longer be technically fraternisation; and Command will finally have to make up its collective mind whether or not to discipline or congratulate them.

He pushes open the swing door and holds it for them as they come up the steps, arms round one another. Cassian is wearing the shabbiest of his t-shirts, Jyn has flowers in her hair, they’re beaming at one another and it’s clear that neither of them has a care in the galaxy. Chirrut and Baze bringing up the rear are also arm in arm.

It’s so good to see everyone he loves this happy.

The night receptionist gets up from his desk and comes forward with an anxious expression. He’s very young and his smart uniform jacket looks a tad large for him; he swallows before speaking, and Bodhi realises he’s worried. “Captain Andor, there was a call for you from your HQ.”

“What?” Cassian’s mouth goes down at the corners.

“The caller said it was very urgent and I was to put you through as soon as you got back.”

“Damn it, okay, fine.” He sighs, unwraps his arms from round Jyn. “Did they leave a name?”

“Uh, yes, sir, it was—“ the boy hurries back to the desk and grabs up a data-pad to check –“I’m sorry, I can’t read my colleague’s hand – it looks like Daven?”

“Shit,” says Cassian, suddenly sounding stone-cold sober and angry with it. “It’s the general. Okay, you better call him back. Shit, shit, shit,” he adds. “Jyn, I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault if he’s being a dick.” Jyn sounds more rueful than angry, but she follows him to the reception desk and the comm-link there.

“It may not be bad news,” Chirrut puts in.

“It’s Draven,” Bodhi says bitterly. “It’s unlikely to be anything else.” He isn’t much given to disliking people but he’s always found it hard to feel anything beyond professional respect for General Draven. The man’s such a miserable cold fish, he thinks. It’s absolutely typical of him to disturb Cassian and Jyn’s holiday.

“You’d better make it a private link,” Cassian is telling the clerk wearily. The lad nods and passes him a pair of headphones before keying in the code that sends the transmission request signal.

Jyn is looking at her fiancé with an expression so lost that Bodhi wants to howl like an animal for her. He knows that wouldn’t be much comfort; but the idea that her time with Cassian may be about to be cut short – and today of all days, when they’ve just decided to marry, when they’ve allowed themselves to think about the future at last – it’s just mean of the Force to do this to them.

He tells her that, sidling up to put an arm round her cautiously. “This isn’t fair. It – it isn’t fair. Just when we’ve reached a point where saying something isn’t fair doesn’t seem simply ridiculous, because the war, you know, so nothing’s fair, that you should have to deal with something that is just so completely unfair now – am I making sense?” He knows he isn’t; the wine talking. Krif, why did I let myself get drunk?

She hugs him and nods; says nothing. Her eyes are fixed on Cassian, standing rigid at the hotel comm-link.

The other two come up behind Bodhi and Jyn, and he feels Baze’s big hand on his shoulder, steadying. For once Chirrut is silent. Cassian bends his head to murmur inaudibly into the microphone.

The receptionist stands a respectful distance off, biting his lip. He looks away from the Captain after a moment and across at them. Bodhi wonders what they look like to him; they’re an odd little group, three sallow men with dark Jedhan eyes and anxious faces, and one very small, very pale woman sticking her bottom lip out in a look of belligerent defensiveness.

Cassian is on the comm now; he glances round at them, his brow furrowed. Then slowly his mouth drops open and his eyes widen in shock. Krif, that’s not good.

Jyn starts forward and reins herself in with an effort. Her back is shaking under Bodhi’s arm. He rubs it weakly, wishing he had something more to offer in the way of comfort. Damn Draven, damn the war, damn things being unfair just when they could have let themselves think fair was a thing again.

“Yes sir,” says Cassian in a thin voice; and then “Thank you.”

He removes the head-set and lays it down on the desk; turns away, and suddenly staggers.

“Cassian!” Jyn breaks away from the little group and runs the three paces to his side as he moves back and stumbles into a table. He sits down on it heavily. She reaches for him, eyes frantic with worry; and he whimpers as he raises his hands to embrace her. Bodhi hurries to join them, the Guardians right behind him. For a moment the only sound is an inarticulate gasping from Cassian. Jyn has wrapped her arms round him and she pulls him close, cradling his head on her breast, stroking his hair. She looks terrified.

It’s Baze who finally manages to say something. “What has happened? Try to speak, little brother. It will feel better once you have said it.”

Cassian makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat; he sobs, and Bodhi bends, trying to catch the words. If there are words.

“Cassian, Cassian, shh,” murmurs Jyn. He’s shaking all over now, his hands gripping her shirt convulsively. Somehow she keeps her voice steady. “I’m here, Cassian, I’m here, love, shh, it’s okay…”

Cassian gasps again and this time Bodhi hears him choke out something, a tiny phrase, just three broken words. He straightens, staring at the others, seeing Jyn’s eyes widen at the same instant. She must have heard the same thing. But Baze and Chirrut didn’t, and nor did the clerk, hovering a few feet away looking stunned and scared.

“He said the war’s over,” Bodhi tells them. His own voice seems to have vanished down his throat. He hauls in a breath and repeats himself, and now it sounds too loud, in the silence, in the completely shocked stillness around him. “The war’s over.”

Cassian raises his head at last and says in a strangled wheeze “Yes it is, yes, it’s over, it’s over” before burying his face against Jyn’s body again.

Jyn, for the first and only time Bodhi has ever seen her do so, bursts into tears.

He takes a shaky step forward and hugs them both. After a second, something warm and solid wraps itself round him; Baze’s huge arms folding him and Chirrut and the lovers all into one shaking, weeping mass of happiness.

When he opens his eyes again he sees the receptionist is crying too; and it’s Chirrut who snakes an arm out of the group and beckons to him to join them.

“I’m alright, sir, thanks, I think,” the boy says. His professional voice has vanished, replaced by a strong local accent. “Is it really over?”

“It’s over.” It’s Cassian who affirms it. He’s just managed to stand up again and now he tucks Jyn’s head under his chin protectively, though his own face is just as tear-stained as hers. At least now he’s through the first shock he’s speaking more-or-less normally; hoarse with emotion, but clear and certain. “There was a big battle at Jakku and we won, we broke them finally. There’s an armistice. It’s over. It should be announced officially any time now. It’s all over.”

“My dad’ll come home,” says the receptionist, starting to smile through his own tears. “Oh my - I can’t believe it. I - I need to comm my ma.” He looks down at his hands, shaking on the smooth timber of the desk. “Oh my...”

“Come,” says Chirrut, holding out his hand again, smiling his beatific smile; and the boy comes to him and awkwardly, happily, joins in the group hug.

#rebelcaptainweek #therebelcaptainnetwork #rebelcaptainprompts #prompt 2: comfort #my writing

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radioactivepeasant · 8 years ago

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#everyone lives au #star wars #tfa happens but everyone is still in character from the OT #everyone says Luke disappeared because it keeps Snoke busy but he's actually just hanging out in a bunker under the base training new Jedi #he pops up every other day or so #Finn thought he was a crazy maintenance guy at first #bhodi rook #jyn erso #Cassian Andor #Chirrut Imwe #baze malbus #k2so #fn-2187 #poe dameron

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poeticandors · 8 years ago

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Risky

Cassian Andor x Reader

Summary: Y/N is one of the best pilots in the Resistance and is sent on a mission that has a possibility of not ending well. Her boyfriend, Cassian, has no choice but to stay on base and hope that she makes it back in one piece.

Warnings: Maybe a little angsty, but turns into fluff. Slight mentions of torture.

A/N: Thank you to @ly–canthrope for requesting this fic! It is my first request and I was SUPER nervous about getting it just right. I hope you all like it!

I do not own anything!!!

You wiped the sweat off of your brow as you were rushing to prepare your X-Wing to go fight against the Empire. You were nervous, so to speak, because you knew just how risky this mission was going to be. As luck would have it, K2S-O (who you claim as your best friend and he claims you as annoying) kept reminding you of the probability of you coming back safely. It wasn’t high, but you were not going to let that stop you from attempting to complete this mission. You were one of the best pilots in the Rebellion, as well as the youngest. You had proven yourself to be more than capable of leading a squad to stop the Empire from raiding another system. As you were putting your vest on, K2 kept on reminding you of your low chances of survival and you just about had it. You were about to yell at K2 when someone beat you to it,

“K2, enough,” your boyfriend, Cassian Andor, said sharply to the reprogrammed Imperial droid.

K2 obliged and he walked away, leaving you and Cassian in an awkward silence. You and Cassian had gotten into a big argument about you taking this mission. He, of course, was opposed to you agreeing to fly this mission, claiming that you weren’t ready and that it was too dangerous, but you knew it was something more.

You were one of the members of the Rogue One crew that had gone to Scarif. Long before that, you and Cassian would be paired on many missions since you were two of the best Rebels. This lead to you and Cassian often butting heads with one another always getting into little arguments over how a mission should go. During one particular mission, Cassian had to rescue you from a group of smugglers who tried to take you captive for interfering with their exports. You were fine at first, knocking five of the seven smugglers out, until one decided to not only shove a blaster to the back of your head, but place a knife on the edge of your throat. You didn’t have a choice but to comply and surrender and the smuggler took you to his ship. He had tortured you for a couple of hours, using his knife to slice little cuts on almost every inch of your body. You tried not to give him the satisfaction of hearing you scream, but you were eventually overwhelmed and screamed until you were sure you were going to lose your voice. Cassian had finally found you after searching for four hours, killed the smuggler, and carried you back to the ship. Cassian ended up being the one to comfort you for the next few days, which eventually lead to weeks. You slowly started falling for him as the two of you became closer, but you kept your feelings hidden to save you from the embarrassment of a possible rejection. What you didn’t know was that Cassian returned these feelings as well.

When you were on Scarif, you were told to stay with Bodhi so that you both could try to find a way to communicate with the Rebellion squadrons that were flying right above you. As soon as you both sent the transmission, a grenade was thrown in the cargo ship next to you and Bodhi. You quickly grabbed it and threw it back to the Stormtrooper and yelled for Bodhi to take cover at the back of the ship. After the explosion, you and Bodhi quickly ran out of the ship and looked for a spot to stay hidden when you spotted Baze carrying an injured Chirrut. Bodhi ran up to help them and you were standing up when you looked to your left and saw Jyn and a much damaged K2 carrying Cassian to the beach. When you saw Cassian, you quickly ran up to him and threw your arms carefully around him.. You pulled away when you heard the sound of a U-Wing land near you. You all ran to get into the ship and were finally able to get away from the island. When you eventually made it back to Yavin 4, you took Cassian to the med bay and stayed by his side until he was allowed to leave. He walked you back to your quarters and were about to thank him when he smashed his lips to yours and pulled you close. Your lips molded together in a synchronized motion and you felt how right it was to be with him.

You two eventually confessed your feelings for one another and became a couple. You decided it was best to keep your relationship hidden, pretending to be at each other’s’ throats during the day but behind closed doors; it was as if you were the only two people in the galaxy. You helped each other through the tough times; if one was seemingly distressed over a nightmare, the other would shake them awake, pull them close, and whisper sweet nothings to them. Eventually, the both of you were allowed to go on missions together. Like always, you two worked extremely well together and would hardly have any problems. Cassian took it upon himself to make sure that you were always safe and would be by your side at all times. You thought it was cute, but would prove to him that you could protect yourself but Cassian would continue to stay close to you. This was why it was so hard for him to accept that you were going to be without him on this mission.

Because of Cassian’s presence, you were having difficulty buckling your vest on. While scrambling with the straps, you saw Cassian reach forward and click the buckles in. You thanked him by nodding your head and turned away to grab your helmet when you heard him clear his voice.

“Y/N,” you looked back at him and saw him looking at you with his arms crossed over his chest, “I’m sorry.”

You sighed and took a step towards him,

“I know, and I’m sorry too. But you have to understand that I have to complete this mission, Cass, I am the best pilot and they need me to lead them. ” He looked away from you and ran his hand through his hair.

“I know that you are more than capable of leading this mission, Y/N. But I just can’t sit around and do nothing while you are out there away from me. This will be the first mission that you go on without me and I can’t protect you down here. Do you even know the odds of coming back safely from this mission?”

You paused and tried to think of something to say. You knew that he was right, you two were always together and while you were scared to be without him, you had a duty to the Rebellion. You knew that there was a low chance of you surviving but you couldn’t just say no. Then, an idea popped into your head.

“Why don’t you ask K2 or Bodhi to somehow find a way to where you can connect to my cabin cam to your datapad? That way you will still be able to see me and know that I will be okay?”

Cassian clenched his jaw, brought his hands to his hips, and stood in silence for a minute. You felt relieved as he finally nodded and you smiled softly.

“I’ll be okay, Cass. You can trust me on this.”

He sighed and looked directly at you, dropping his hands to his sides,

“How did I get to be with the biggest risk taker known to man?”

You laughed and looked around to make sure no one was watching you. You grabbed his hand and took him to one side of your X-Wing that was hidden from everyone else and placed a kiss to his lips. He cupped your cheek and brought his forehead to yours before whispering,

“Please just come back to me in one piece, Y/N.”

“I will, Cass. Whatever the odds are, I will return to you.”

It was utter chaos. You knew that the chances of surviving were low, but when you were brought off of Hyperspeed, you had lost all hope. The Council had failed to inform you of just how many enemy ships were going to be on site. Your squad’s, as well as the other two squadrons who were sent, mission was to take out one of the three of the Star Destroyers that were there as well as any other enemy ships that got in the way. A plethora of Tie Fighters flew right towards you and your squadron and you were immediately sent into battle.

“Alright everyone, we need to get as close as possible to take out the shields of Target 2. Red 1 and Red 2 I need you to cover me while I find a way to get closer. Everyone else needs to take out as many Tie Fighters as you can.”

“Copy that Red Leader.”

Your squad split up and you went ahead to take out the shields. You rushed your way past a group of Tie Fighters that were shooting at you and you, along with Red 1 and 2, took them out with no problem. Everything was going fine, you were almost to the Star Destroyer when you saw a blaster cannon shoot towards your direction. You instantly dodged it, but Red 2 wasn’t so lucky. You looked towards the other members of your squad who were having trouble against the Tie Fighters. You saw two more members of your team get shot down.

“Okay I need everyone to come closer to Target 2, we are going to need as much fire power as we can in order to take it out.”

“It’s a little hard to get away from these Tie Fighters, Y/N!” One of the pilots yelled.

“Then shake them off and drive them towards the blaster cannons! If they are too focused on you then they will not see the blaster shoot at you. Just make sure you guys dodge it at the right time!”

“Roger Red Leader.”

“Don’t worry guys, we will get out of this. You need to trust me.”

On Yavin 4, Cassian was helplessly watching everything unravel in an empty meeting room. Everyone else was meeting with the Council to talk about what should happen next if the mission failed. Cassian stared in awe as you were taking charge, he nearly forgot that you were a natural born leader and that made him proud to call you his. He wished that he could talk to you and tell you how proud he was but unfortunately, K2 and Bodhi could not connect the mic without it taking longer than what Cassian wanted. When he saw you make a panicked expression, he felt his heart drop. He could tell something was wrong and was about to go into the headquarters to see what was wrong, when Jyn, K2, Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut walked through the door.

“Cassian, we missed you in the meeting. What are you doing here?” Jyn asked.

“I uh-“ Cassian shifted nervously on his feet.

“They are saying that the pilots are struggling and are about to send another two squads out to help. They are losing people left and right, it’s a suicide mission.”

Cassian’s eyes widened and he looked back to his datapad. His heart dropped when he saw just how scared you looked. Cassian felt someone place a hand on his shoulder,

“Wait,” Jyn started, “is that Y/N?”

Cassian stayed quiet for a minute before he answered with,

“No,” he turned to look at his friends who gave him confused looks, “that’s my girlfriend.”

Jyn smiled at Cassian and he looked back to everyone else, who had the same smile on their face.

“About time,” Baze laughed and he patted Cassian hard on his back. Cassian furrowed his brows and frowned in confusion.

“What do you mean about time? Have you guys known all along?”

The room filled with laughter and Cassian looked at each of them with a straight face.

“I saw the two of you sneak off a couple of times together,” Jyn admitted.

“When you asked K2 and I to rig your datapad I figured it out then,” Bodhi said, shaking his head.

“Baze told me he saw the two of you kiss goodbye just before she left to the mission,” Chirrut said and Baze nodded.

“I calculated the statistics of you two being together after you had to rescue her from those smugglers,” K2 said and Cassian smirked.

“So you guys knew all this time.”

“Kind of, we have been waiting for you guys to tell us since it wasn’t our place to ask,” Jyn stated.

Cassian was about to reply when he heard his datapad beep. He quickly grabbed it and what froze. He saw you yelling something to your squad and saw you struggling to get away from a Tie Fighter. The cam suddenly cut off and nothing was showing on the screen. Everyone stood quietly, their faces filled with shocked expressions. The silence was broken by the sound of Cassian’s datapad being thrown against the wall.

A Tie Fighter had shot off your satellite and you were not able to view any of the other X-Wing cabin cams. It was a close call, but you didn’t have any other damage to your ship.

“Hey guys, I can’t see you guys through your cabin cams. We just need to give Target 2 one last big hit and then we can go home.”

“Are you sure you want to continue if you can’t see us, Red Leader?” You heard over your com link .

“I promised you that I would get you out of here and I will. I need all eyes on target alright?”

It was quiet for a few seconds before you heard,

“Copy that, Red Leader.”

You huffed and led your X-Wing forward, dodging the brightly colored lasers that made its way towards you. You turned your ship to the Star Destroyer and unleashed everything you had. You saw more lasers being shot towards the Target and bit your lip in anticipation. After what felt like an agonizing amount of time, the shield finally fell and you smiled brightly,

“Alright, team let’s give it all we’ve got!”

You along with your team continued firing your blasters at the Star Destroyer. Red sparks flew in your vision and there was a big explosion in front of you. The Star Destroyer started to descend its way farther into space and you took a breath of relief. You heard cheering through your com link and the sound was like music to your ears. You looked to see the other two destroyers losing their battle as well and you smiled at the sight.

“Alright Red Team, let’s get back home.” You said and started to make your way into hyperspeed.

Cassian was a mess. He didn’t know if you were dead or alive and he made his way to talk to Mon Mothma. Jyn and Bodhi had tried to get him to talk but he shook them off and continued to the headquarters. As he was making his way, he ran through the X-Wing landing and saw a group of X-Wings had made their way back. His heart fell heavy and he turned to make his way back when he heard someone calling for him.

“Cassian! Cassian!”

He quickly turned around and saw you running towards him, throwing your helmet on the ground in the process. He stood frozen and you ran straight for him, throwing your arms around him. He lifted you up in his arms and spun you around. When he finally set you down he placed his hands on each side of your face and placed little kisses all over your face. You giggled and placed your hands atop of his and he finally looked you with the most loving eyes.

“Y/N,” he brought his forehead to yours, “I thought I lost you, I lost signal to your cabin cam and I lost my mind.”

You removed your hands and pulled him in for a tight hug, which he returned,

“I am so sorry Cass, one of the Tie Fighters shot off my satellite and I even lost signal to the other cabin cams as well. But we did it Cass, we completed the mission.”

Cassian placed his cheek on the top of your head and sighed deeply. He began to run his hand on you back and finally said,

“You are never going on another mission without me, Y/N.”

You laughed and pulled away to look at him,

“Good luck trying to stop me Cass,” you winked and kissed him on the cheek softly, “you know I love taking big risks.”

#cassian andor x reader #cassian x reader #rogue one imagine #rogue one #cassian andor imagine

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