#it’s not the worst anxiety ever but I’m ngl I was 2 minutes from just leaving before it even started bc I couldn’t figure out where people
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The struggle of putting yourself in the position of having to do a bunch of social stuff for a good cause but meanwhile you have SO MUCH social anxiety
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#me rn since I’ve become an organizer of a couple things which means I need to talk to a lot of people and AAAAHHHHHHH#it’s a good thing and it’s good for the local community and is just good all around technically but internally my brain is screamingggg#this means I have to be even more social than I have been before at events and that’s TERRIFYING#this involves meeting new people as well as reaching out to people I don’t know well and just so much socialing that fuck if I know how to#do any of that shit or at the very least doing it without anxiety#I had the first meeting for planning stuff today and I forgot to take my anxiety meds beforehand and bruhhhh#it’s not the worst anxiety ever but I’m ngl I was 2 minutes from just leaving before it even started bc I couldn’t figure out where people#even we’re?? I got lucky someone from the group entered right after me and was visibly someone I’d expect to be a part of it so I asked#also this involves likely me doing a bunch of social media shit and I don’t know how to do that!!! that’s scary!!!#not only that but I have to figure out how to get people like me (anxious gay messes) to be a part of any of this which the biggest hurdle#being people in my demographic don’t know shit about anything local and are terrified to do anything which I get obv I’ve got the anxiety to#but like… how do you reach out to people who need/want to leave their spaces but are basically all rotting at home?#word of mouth only goes so far when most of the people are older T^T#I theoretically know of some accounts I can reach out to but ONCE AGAIN THATS TERRIFYING? especially for people that seem pretty cool#like I am kind of used to being the person in my group forced to learn social shit bc no one else bothers & is also an anxious mess but man#sometimes I wish I had someone to rely on for social stuff too!! like I don’t know what I’m doing & it’s all’s confusing & scary!!!#the anxiety I have about every little thing bro it’s getting to meeee#why have I managed to keep putting me in heavily social positions when I have VERY BAD SOCIAL ANXIETY??? like sure exposure & all that but#fuck man even with more experience now it’s still scary!! there’s so many unknowns & mystery variables to consider & it’s constantly like#I am not the best under pressure or when put on the spot coz my processing isn’t the best & yet I keep putting myself in places that require#exactly that? partially because no one else is & I kinda have to? but also I kinda wanna but that makes it even scarier? why is life#always so scary?? like as soon as I get even a slight grip on one fear new things come! & the old one is often still there! EVERYTHING is#so scary & anxiety inducing man!!! I am so tired!! so much to do & everything requires me to constantly face my fears T•T
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Heyyy :) I was wondering if you could maybe do head canons of having a kid with the boys (from Bayverse I was thinking?) Like them finding out and what kind of dad they'd be? If you don't want to, I totally understand! :D Thank you so much xx
I honestly want a raphael husband being the father of my daughters and sons. Literally the only way someone could ever get me to have a child is if it with that man and i stand by that. Fuck yeah turtle dads, LETS GO!! ((Gonna do a part 2 in a bit but i had to cut this short)
Leonardo:
•When Lee figured out the biggest thing he remembers feeling is pride and major fucking anxiety
•Nearly cried that night and the first person he told was his father, who he had always wanted to share this experience with so you can imagine the whirl of emotions he's going through
•He made father-hood his bitch ngl, fucking slayed and then some
•Leo is the stern daddy who helps with the homework and playtime while being percautious all at the same time
•First time your oldest son scraped his knee Leo held him for a solid four minutes wishing he would never have to hear those sad sobs again
•When his kids get in trouble Lee is the parent who gives the really long and boring lecture and then the punishment. Yes he did take the role of bad cop but damnit he hates it being called that
•Everyone will refuse to eat if they wake up and see dad at the table. Even when he tried to feed them baby food it was like they just wouldn't take it from him and he gets so petty when you manage
•The best with lullabyes. He can't tell a story but no matter how old his kids get they will ask for dad to sing
Raphael:
•Had a panic attack when you told him, took a 3 hour nap, remembered, told dad and Leo first, then never took his eyes or hands off of you because you were the most beautiful thing to him in that moment
•The dad your friends like when they come over because he makes the best dinner and is the secind best pillow fort maker. Anything his kids ask he will probably do because bro they're only kids once right?
•Definitley the one who, against your protest, let his kid take a sip of his cold brew. Fucking bust a gut laughin when they spat it all over his lap, he told them it was nasty
•When they get in trouble he has to take a minute to calm down because he knows if it makes him angry enough that Raph will be torn into pieces for yellin at his kid. Hates doin that, so he takes a differemt approach.
•"I'm not mad, just dissapointed" pulled the sad parent card because his dad did it all the time, why wouldn't it work?
•Definitley builds a relationship with each of his kids. From playin cowboys with one and princess with the other or maybe one of his lids got a thing for art. No, he can't draw but danggit he'll try
•Does not matter if he had the worst night on patrol or got his ass kicked fightin baddies. Raphael will hold his arms out for the tykes when they run to greet him and gives a hello kiss for each pretty head ready for whatever questions they have for him abput his night
#Tmnt x reader#Raphael x reader#Leonardo x reader#Raph x reader#Leo x reader#turtle dads#Ray writes#Headcannons#Fluff#Dad headcannons#My heart
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Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note
I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes
Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now
“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u
“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??
“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do
Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’
I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That
“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light
“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss
Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh
Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that
“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies
It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common)
Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L
“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever
OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)
Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it
“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG
Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already
I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth
“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN
“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man
Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this
I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack
“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED
“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber
What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you
Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk
Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????
Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow
This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity
Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy
SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER
Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families
“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops
“To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me
I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)
JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?
“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood
I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex
“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same
Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched
Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject?
“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′
Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops
OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE
Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess
Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up
Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract
Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass
Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see
“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable
Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love
“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple
“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em
Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo
“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out
HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show
“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD
This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder
“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn:
The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding
Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life
“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’
Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him
FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE
THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)
“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while
“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights
“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show
Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women
Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face
“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you
"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring
“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them
Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs
I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)
Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces
“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔
MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day
“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it
Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!
The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world
“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes
“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)
Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!
“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP
Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch
Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride
Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend
“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth
They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it
I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(
“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN
“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one
In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!
Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will
Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye
AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh
Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light
Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands
BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light
Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH
“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY
Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips
“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!
“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)
This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:
OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰”
I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone
“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)
Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao
Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you
“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother
“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER
“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That
Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables
Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too
The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook
“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo
It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’
“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful
Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them
Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭
“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao
Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao
HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness
“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami
I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something
Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst
“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK
Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)
Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it
Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money
Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling
How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t
Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”
Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape
“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings
“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail
“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show
“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI
“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater
Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’
“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)
Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔
“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law
This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare
Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you
“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’)
As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe
“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)
Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be
“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid
Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened
“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute
Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show
Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God
“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer
Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((
Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)
LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”
Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!
Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.
#ayesha talks anime#ayesha liveblogs dn#liveblogging#long post#sorry for any dn fans who stumble across this lmao i don't have the constitution for it
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Jenna reviews 25x25 2-parter again because I finally got the motivation to watch the 25x25 videos haha. Kind of a long one, here we go!
Part 1: Overcoming my BROKEN BACK Trauma (Cliff Diving)
Okay, let’s just say the DRAMATIC CAPITALIZATION is so click bait-y it’s hilarious.
Ngl it’s been cold where I live and this place looks like literal paradise right now.
Fucking Crackhead Colby starts us off not even a minute in lmao
“We gon be doin’ some of the most richy rich bougie bougie shit ever” We GET it your rich, GOD. No, I’m kidding, but sometimes it does seem like they’re showing off, but I would too tbh.
“Haunted and Abandoned-” Oh, so not so richy rich bougie bougie. Sweet. Excited.
They’re gonna get on a boat and there’s a thunderstorm? What demon did they piss off because they have the worst luck, I swear. God the luck thing needs it own post man because damn. And that is a huge boat.
“I- I don’t know how to...drive it.” I love Nate. I relate to his humor.
Hello, Roxanne, I love your accent.
Side Note: Colby’s random bandana around his arm is random.
“The last time this happened to me, Roxanne, I threw up in an air plane.” God, I just love Nate. His one-liners are great. If 25x25 was a TV show, Nate would be my favorite character, no lie (Sorry Sam, Colby, Justin, and Alex)
Captain Sex Magnet omg, glad you’re not lacking the confidence department there Colbs. Of all the things Colby is know for he goes for “Sex Magnet.” Why not like, Captain Emo or something? 😂
Will the Sam’s nipples jokes ever die? Probably not. It’s been years now.
First challenge looks fun, but they hit that water hard man, maybe it’s just the sound effect but it looks painful. But nobody’s hurt and I’m probably being dramatic lol.
Side Note: Looks like Sam has graduated from his little red swim trunks
Aw Justin got sick, poor Justin. He’s so positive though, ready to get back at it. I appreciate that boy.
I love how Justin and Nate do these like majestic swan dives and Sam and Colby just fucking SPLASH. And then they keep falling off the board together.
Oh, those are some dark clouds. Sam’s right, they look evil.
Flawless transition there from thunderstorm to fishing. But at least they didn’t fucking get caught in the storm or anything. Thank god.
“We drink responsibly” HA PAST VIDEOS CALL BULLSHIT YOU ALCOHOLICS
Side Note: Justin is a fast swimmer, damn.
Okay, I’d jump off that cliff. Finally, a 25x25 challenge I’d actually attempt.
Serious props to Sam for this one because I bet after breaking his back there’s some serious anxiety there for him. Was it stupid? Probably but considerably less stupid than jumping off your roof onto a fucking bean-bag. My GOD that was so fucking stupid.
Justin is a badass. He just goes for it off that first cliff while the others move to a shorter one and then Colby, Nate, and Sam are like Nah Bro and Justin’s like fuck yeah I’ll jump and flip off this literal slippery slope.
I totally zoned out Sam and Colby’s end monologue for what’s next because a) I know what’s next lol and b) Nate it just messing with his sunglasses and necklace and totally taking my attention.
As always, gotta give the cinematography and editing some love because they are awesome. That one shot of Sam underwater after having just jumped off the cliff and the voice over? Masterpiece. Wanted more areal shots to see the island, but I mean I’d be worried about losing the drone to the ocean to I see why they probably didn’t do that.
Fun Video! On to part 2!
Part 2: EXPLORING ABANDONED MILITARY SCHOOL (stranded)
Ah, the return of the XPLR thumbnail too. Shocked faces and an arrow pointing to nothing. Wish they would’ve done a “standing in front of *abandoned place* with our arms out” one too, but the scared on is fine lol.
“WHAT”S UP GUYS IT’S SAM AND COLBY” *music plays* “TODAY WE ARE-”
Oh, the sudden wave of nostalgia that gave me for no reason, wow. I didn’t know how much I missed the old videos until this one.
What I didn’t miss? The amount of freaking anxiety they give me. Like this whole video felt like I was there with them, that’s the level of anxiety I had.
They are so like worst case scenario guys too, like I get it, but come on. If it was light outside would you be as freaked out by the other people on the island? Probably not.
I guess that’s all part of the experience though, haha.
This place was really cool. I always think like, yeah, the jungle seems fun but then I remember the fucking spiders and shit that are there and I’m like 100% Nope From Me.
Side Note: I don’t know how people live in Australia, tbh, that place is trying to kill you.
Colby touching all the animals. He just likes small, strange creatures, I guess.
Also they better be careful with those crabs they will fuck you up.
The smaller sand crabs I’ve actually seen in person before! I saw them when my family took a vacation to Florida and they were on the beach at night. They bury themselves in the sand like super-fast but my dad was able to catch a few so we could see them up close and it was cool! They range from really tiny, like dime tiny, to like tennis shoe big or bigger.
I just felt so at home with this video. Like the *LISTEN and the sound effects and the camera angles and the running. This video feels like it just catered to old XPLR fans lol.
The ending though, I was so unsure of what was going to happen. I was like “are they gonna end up stranded and leave us on a cliffhanger? Where did the boat go? What the fuck?”
And then turns out Justin just freaked us out for the laughs. Man, I love that guy.
I am excited for more of these videos. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love the new 25x25 style but it feels really good to see some of the older elements come into play too. I hope Sam and Colby continue to edit at least these next few videos.
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I’m bored out of my mind cuz of mandatory isolation so here’s a tag that no one asked for. 😂 A nice way to get to know me I guess!
1. What’s your favorite candle scent?
I like almost all scents. My favorite to narrow it down are cinnamon and clean sheets.
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Taylor Swift, obviously, if you know me ya know lol
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
Idk, Channing Tatum? Hahahah
4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
That’s something I can’t predict. Hopefully before I’m 40 so I got a little under 20 years 🤷♀️
5. Do you know a hoarder?
Yes
6. Can you do a split?
No
7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
About 3
8. How many oceans have you swam in?
At least 2
9. How many countries have you been to?
7
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
No
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
Avril. Because Avril Lavigne and I love her 🎵
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
Y’all are gonna think I’m real obsessed due to this answer but Kyo 😂
13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?
Probably an F ngl
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
Spongebob or The Simpsons
15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
I’ve never celebrated Halloween
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
I’ve read The Hunger Games and Twilight
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
Who wouldn’t want a British accent?
18. Did your mother go to college?
She went to medical school. Isn’t in the medical field now tho.
19. Are your grandparents still married?
Both sets are/were divorced
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
No
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
Yes 🐸
22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?
I think Disneyland
23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
ASL (Used to be fluent but I forgot most of it), Spanish because it’d be useful, and Japanese ofc.
24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
Grey
25. Is your father bald?
Yes lol. He had hair when I was a baby.
26. Do you know triplets?
No
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
I’ve only seen Titanic
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
Yes
29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?
Olive Garden 🥖
30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
Lmao I just indirectly answered that
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?
No
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
I can’t remember if my parents ever told me what they would’ve named me if I’d been a boy but (and TMI) they almost named me Cozumel because I was conceived on the beach on that island and I was like THANK GOD YOU DIDNT omg.
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
Mady. My mom calls me Mads.
34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
Kyo Sohma. Jk lmao. My parents tbh.
35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
Suburbs. I don’t like being far away from town.
36. Can you whistle?
Nope
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
Not since I was little
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Not every morning. Eating early makes me queasy.
39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
Yes
40. What medical conditions do you have?
No physical conditions. I have depression, social anxiety, and basically generalized anxiety.
41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
Twice
42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Random but yes
43. Where do you buy your jeans?
I rarely wear jeans. If I do I get them cheap like at Target.
44. What’s the last compliment you got?
“You look nice” via my mother lol.
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
For like five minutes then my brain will be like “what dream?”
46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
Cinnamon
47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
About five. But I have more in storage.
48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness so I’ll most likely raise my kids the same way if I have any.
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?
I’ve always known he was fake.
50. Why do you have a youtube?
I didn’t realize this was a YouTube tag until now but I do YouTube so it works haha. I do it because I love making and editing videos and I love talking to ppl about the topics I’m passionate about like anime and Fruits Basket!
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hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you
@natcaptor / @gayspaced
name: leon or lionel!
nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!
gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though
star sign: sagittarius!
height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...
time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon
birthday: december 9th!
favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu
favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples
song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams
last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl
when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho
last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me
do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H
do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”
why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!
following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!
followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content
average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though
lucky number: 43 and 64!!
instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs
what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes
dream job: oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim
dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!
favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet
nationality: new zealand, but living in australia
favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime
@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist
APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces
PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality
ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch
HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts
EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts
MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone
RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend
RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year
@smstransformers
age: 16
birthplace: auckland, nz
current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!
drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops
favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite
grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)
horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low
in love: i believe so!
jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things
love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C
middle name: shane!
siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!
one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life
song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands
time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30
underwear colour: blue + purble
vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!
worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage
favourite food: mashed potatoes….
zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!
@alyonian
relationship status:
at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young
favourite colour:
it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace
lipstick or chapstick:
i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former
last song i listened to:
the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is
last movie:
monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories
top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:
i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;
unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage
taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)
tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!
additional favs:
my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software
top 3 bands / artists:
HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is
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@alyonian
color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing
last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts
last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life
last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing
last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.
last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique
last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big
book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber
@victorion
name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™
nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!
zodiac sign: archer man
height: Tall™
language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian
fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)
fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it
fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing
fav color: ornge,,,,
fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS
coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho
average hrs of sleep: too little
fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom
no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??
fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to
fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good
fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again
@thonany-klieme
name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really
gender: male, im probs an nb guy
star sign: sagittarius!
height: 6’1
sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now
lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’
ever had a crush on a teacher: no??
where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate
if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands
what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump
last kiss: never had one
have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf
favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights
favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y
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conecting…
I’m thinking of making this keyboard my new diary. It’s kinda more flow state like to be able to really get thoughts out as i think them. Also not having to worry about spelling is freeing.
Therapy today was really enlightening, i feel like every session helps me so significantly, and i understand myself so much more each session. This session we talked a lot about trying to predict and anticipate peoples emotions. I recalled how distressed i felt when i had to face someone feeling negative emotions, the conflict between being compassionate and ensuring they didnt get upset was me trying to control their feelings. This need to know what people are thinking and how they might react, coupled with feeling a responsibility to ensure people are happy and not feeling any bad emotions- that is what causes he discomfort and anxiety. The feeling that people dislike me is often linked to the idea that i am doing something wrong that will be disrespectful or rude, this is me feeling like i am unable to predict their emotions that is causing discomfort
THIS IS WHY I DONT MAKE LOTS OF NEW DIFFERENT FRIENDS! becuase most new people are hard to predict and this makes me uncomfortable and jump to the worst possible conclusion. I guess the bottom line of all this is feeling inadequate, low self essteem- feeling that i’m unable to help people or anticipated their needs. For me, walking on eggshells and anticipating a persons every move to ensure they feel no discomfort is a problematic way i show care. When this doesn’t work and people become upset, i blame myself for not creating the perfect environment for them not to feel sad. It’s like taking peoples emotions personally to the extreme.
My fish tank is full of algae and i need to clean it. It’s bad for the fishes. I just haven’t gotten roland to it- recently ive been more and more swamped with university work and wok work. It’s like i need to step up my productivity game a bit. I’m taking it very very easy on myself to reduce anxiety and discomfort- it’s working great, i hardly feel anxious and all my sadness is coming from normal things . This is at the detriment of my workload tho, it’s suffering with all the patience i have for myself.
I have lectures to watch, i think i have four tommmorow, i need to finish all my lectures tommorow so i’m ready for my full two days on friday and saturday . Level three changed work hours and were back open on sunday RIP i was loving the reduced level 4 hours. I wonder how ill cope in level 2 ngl, like its so chill rn, i know ill adapt to it but still i dont want to loose this increasingly mental health routine ive got going .
I think a goal is to read more, i want to do a 14 day reading streak- it shouldn’t be too hard, ive got a five minutes a day timer, its great becuase its just enough time to if ur out if i wanna keep reading or not. 14 days is a good amount of time too, I want to get back on the affirmation gratitude diary shit as well, that was really good and made me feel so much happier- its been a good break to get me more grounded with some of my diasadvantages but i’m ready to work on them again now. The affirmations have been really good tho, ive been doing them everyday sometimes even twice, it REALY helps with positive thinking. I also genuinely think its one of the only ways to get to your core beliefs without changing your environment. Like- ideally i’d move out and live with a group of people who respect and love me and that would naturally raise my self essteem- but i think that this i the best i can get while still living with my folks .
I also think self love in discipline is SO true and ive been really feelin it recently.
Fuck you know what, this lady fucking died on the magic mountain- she want missing today and they found her body this afternooon. It makes me sick to my stomach, i want to vomit when i think about it. I hope her family is doing okay. It’s just insane because i walk up that mountains all te time, and a few days ago i went up there at night nighttime, and someone has died there. It’s a graveyard now and i’m worried that its going to be really hard for me to go back up there and enjoy the beautify up magic of the mountain. I think i might have to buy flowers to calm the spirits and cleanse the place, i mighty do that acctually, create a little flower shrine for her spirit. Fuck muan its scary though- i just hope its natural causes but you cant hep it- you cant help jumping to the worst possible conclusion.
I’m hoping for level 2 when i can get out of the neighbourhood, i’m getting really restless in the same place over and over every single day- i need a change of scene art. It’s raining tonight and i’m listening to te clash.
HEE IS A MAN WHO WILLL NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE not even bobby’s bickialling could stop the blood and —-
Yeah i bet you are. Hang in there You save the girl champaign on ice.
gn lovelies- i know i have to post better content than unedited diary entries but no, i’m just gonna post this an hope i get rich and famous and soon eeee by audible or glamneric lashes
this keyboard is the best purchase i have ever made my brain will proberbly e empty ina few weeks tho. spewing my thoughts out onto the clicky buttons like a digital therapist. gn babies 😚💓
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All of the 'Get to Know Me'.
Aaaah tysm!!!
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
(Jokes on you I only usually have 3 songs on repeat at any one time :’-D ) Atm though: Work Song - Hozier, Rats- Miw, Wastelands- Amber Run, Dragula- Rob Zombie, Fireflies- Owl city (yh really), To build a home- The cinematic orchestra.
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
I…don’t know. I’m really not that into meeting ‘idols’ or anything. I guess it’d be pretty cool to meet Kaitlyn Alexander but honestly I’m not sure the anxiety would be worth it.
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
“It’s a body,” I said, “A dead body.” lmao
4: What do you think about most?
I imagine what life is going to be like when I get to uni or who/what it’ll be that finally makes me happy.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
“Off to stuff my face with chinese food, talk to you later bro”
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Clothes on unless it’s above 25 degrees bc I don’t wanna die (like that)
7: What’s your strangest talent?
Lmaooo talent?! Me?! Idk I’m learning how to do special effects makeup and a couple of people have said its p cool. Also I can do this weird thing with my tongue where it basically rolls in on itself (seems to be genetic)
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
Girls are all ethereal goddesses out of my league.
Boys are not my area of expertise.
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
As if lmao! Ain’t no one ever liked me that much.
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
I can’t remember so I did it just now to make up for it.
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
I hate cuddly toys with battery packs in them with a passion.
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Nooo
13: What’s your religion?
Don’t have one, I’m an atheist.
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Cleaning up my rabbits’ mess.
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind it I think
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Honestly it depends on the time of day, when I last ate, the luna cycle… I genuinely don’t have one I can’t answer that
17: What was the last lie you told?
Um, I lied about what I watched on TV last night lmao
18: Do you believe in karma?
I’m not sure, I kinda just hope it exists and that helps keep me sane.
19: What does your URL mean?
It’s pretty self explanatory lmao
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
I don’t know, for the weakness I’m torn between caring too much and saying the wrong thing.
And I wouldn’t call it a major strength but I have a lot of patience.
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
I don’t know (I barely have an interest in anything atm), given I have an entire fanblog dedicated to them I’ll say Kaitlyn Alexander again
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Nope not yet
23: How do you vent your anger?
I have a personal blog ( @the-emotional-equilibrium ) that I rant on
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
I have an embarrassing number of kermit memes on my phone
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Video chatting for sure, I like to be able to see people’s faces (also I hate phone calls they’re too awkward).
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
I think I’m a work in progress really. I’m happier with myself than I used to be, but there’s always things I want to change or could improve on and I know I’m never going to be perfect.
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
I hate the sound of fabric being ripped, it makes me shiver but I love, idk, that sound when you’re just lying outside and you can hear the birds and stuff. Idk, I don’t listen to much besides music.
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
Argh, erm, I wonder how different life would have been if I’d learnt to stand up for myself earlier. I’d probably have fewer regrets.
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Ghosts I’m really not sure about. Up until recently I would’ve said no, but honestly I don’t know what to believe anymore. As for aliens they’re definitely real.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
Right arm: A cushion on the sofa. Left arm: The wall. Exciting right?
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
Chicken! (Making lunch atm)
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
Lmfaooooo idk???? Not a physical place anyway. When I was really little I once had to stand outside in the snow for about 3 hours and I remember being pretty sure I was gonna die, like it was such a horrible feeling being that cold.
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
East coast! I mean, that’s just based on where my friend lives and nothing else but
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
Lmfao opposite?! Okay so let’s just assume that means a guy but erm? Idk? Okay I admit I have a slight thing for half the guys in MIW so lets just go with that
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
To have the best time possible and end it with minimal regrets. Also to try to help other people to have a better time to.
36: Define Art.
Stuff you can look at that takes actual talent and imagination.
37: Do you believe in luck?
Not really? I mean sometimes I might consider things Unlucky but tbh I have no idea what I mean by that.
38: What’s the weather like right now?
Pretty boring tbh, it’s just a grey sky with a bit of a breeze.
39: What time is it?
2:49 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
I passed my test a few months back but I haven’t driven since so thankfully I haven’t had a chance to crash yet
41: What was the last book you read?
The 5 people You Meet in Heaven….and that was last July smh
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Love it. It’s the smell of my childhood.
43: Do you have any nicknames?
Most people at school call me Scaz and most my friends outside of school refer to me as Chorlo. (or Wholemeal Chorlo if your name is ellie)
44: What was the last film you saw?
I watched Shrek 2 last night lmfao I forgot how good it was!!
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
I’ve broken quite a few bones but I’m lucky never to have done anything awful. Um, the worst was probably when I broke my elbow or when I tore my side open on a nail jumping off a fence.
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Aaah yeah I used to catch them every summer!
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
I guess I’m between obsessions at the minute; though I’m kind of hooked on supernatural ngl
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
Fuck knows. Not straight. I defo like girls but idk about guys.
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
Multiple smh. This one girl once spread a rumor I was a lesbian and I was gay for her (before I even came out) and tbh she’d have been lucky. (She was kinda obsessed with me, she was probs suppressing something). It did kinda ruin my confidence though because of all the reactions so I didn’t come out for another 2 years.
50: Do you believe in magic?
I don’t know what to believe anymore, but I’m kind of open to learning more about it.
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Yeah smh. I have a pretty high Grudge Threshold in that I give people a lot of chances but once they reach that level there’s no going back and I won’t forget what they did.
52: What is your astrological sign?
Libra
53: Do you save money or spend it?
I either save it for months or blow my savings in an hour.
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
A bus ticket?
55: Love or lust?
Love defo
56: In a relationship?
As if lmao
57: How many relationships have you had?
Three, but none of them lasted that long
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope
59: Where were you yesterday?
At home all day working
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
I’m sitting on a pink sofa lol
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
Yeaaah, one is glittery the other has skulls on which sums me up pretty well tbh
62: What’s your favourite animal?
I love so many animals I don’t know!! Capybaras? Alpacas? Giraffes? Chimps? Idk?!
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
Lmaoooo I have no idea I haven’t found it yet
64: Where is your best friend?
3918 miles away on the east coast of the USA (I get to see her in 9 days though I’m so excited!!)
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
(I won’t tag them but in no particular order) Pansexi-unicorn, onetinygay, shrekthelesbian, oneshappyplace and only-slightly-dangerous
66: What is your heritage?
I’m white as a toilet m8. Nah a lot of my family comes from Denmark/scandinavia which you can kind of tell from looking at me tbh
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
Sleeping. Sorry that’s not more interesting.
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
I think it’s like, double barrel as in May-Trump or something
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
Maybe..
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
Errrm, sort of? I try to make an effort, so that’d be nice. But I’m so quiet and shy sometimes that if I was friends with myself we’d probably never talk lmao
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Save the dog, no doubt about it. If my boss is that much of a dick I’ll probably lose my job sooner or later, so I might as well lose it helping out a doggo.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) I’d tell the people closest to me, but maybe not straight away depending on how I thought they’d react.
b) I’d probably blow my saving and go travelling. I mean, what else is there to do? Oh and finish bingewatching all my shows at that time bc dying on a cliffhanger would really piss me off.
c) Maybe a little? Just because once you die you’re alone with whatever the hell comes after (pun not intended).
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
Argh?! Trust? I guess? No point having love if you can’t trust people.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men and Fireflies by Owl City. They both bring on such nostalgia.
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
6666 as far as the internet is concerned.
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Just like, having someone you can chill with and open up to. Someone where you don’t have to care about embarrassing yourself with or worry about constantly because you trust them. Just like, a super cool friendship but with kissing.
77: How can I win your heart?
Don’t be afraid to be yourself I guess. I love interesting people that don’t pretend to be someone else. Also interesting people with swords.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
Who am I to answer that? Idk, I suppose yeah.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
Cutting off shitty people and actually valuing myself enough to find new friends.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
7 (could be a lot worse given my height)
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
Something along the lines of “I’m just dormant” or “Nothing is set in stone.”
82: What is your favourite word?
Un sacapuntas
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
Break
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
“I amuse myself” or “what the fuck”
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
Alive (i think its called) by Sia
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
Black, red and purple
87: What is your current desktop picture?
It’s a galaxy spacey thing
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
I’m torn between Putin and Kim Jong Un (no need to worry about Trump, I’m sure someone already has a plan.)
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
The third question in my inbox rn lmao
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
(I was so tempted to say “ask if they prefer being the big or little spoon” why am I like this)
Idk id probs strike up a convo whilst looking around the room for the best weapon just in case.
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
Hmmm, I think mind reading would be useful but it might make my anxiety even worse! So that or teleportation.
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Any half hour when I wasn’t stressed about exams lmao (bonus if the weather was good)
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
A guy did something that I wish he hadn’t and I’m still fucked up by it sooo that.
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
I honestly don’t know, it’s not something I’ve thought about with “music-celebrities” lmao
Edit: Hold up I’ve just remembered Halsey exists.
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
The place I’m going in 9 dayyys!! (Or Copenhagen)
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
Not that I know of.
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
When I was really little and hopefully never again
98: Ever been on a plane?
Yup a couple of times
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
For fucks sake can’t you all just educate yourselves and get along? Stop. Killing. Each. Other.
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Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce
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I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.
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so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them. but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...
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So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!
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Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.
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I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this
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I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...
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So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!
Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco
Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.
Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.
Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade.
Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.
Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.
To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.
Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.
hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?
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This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.
I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.
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OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF
Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.
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ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.
well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ
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IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.
Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙
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confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY
WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...
Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!
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