#it’s not shown in the sneak peek but

[teecupangel]

So it's obvious that God doesn't really exist but what if there's hell? But hell's more like hazbin hotel/helluva boss type of hell so all the assassins and templars just pile there or something so even in death they still have this war going on and they just keep coming back no matter how many times they die

Me seeing this ask preview while still half-asleep:

My brain apparently thinking we’re uneducated indios from the 1600s: O dios mio! Don’t let the friars hear you or you’ll be whipped!

Well, that woke me up. Thanks, nonny XD

Alright, let’s be clear, this is about how there is no non-Isu creator god in Assassin’s Creed… that we know of.

However…

If we take into consideration that, whenever someone talks about an omnipowerful god, they’re usually talking about the Judeo-Christian God, we do have an idea of which Isu this god is meant to represent in AC lore.

The Templars (historically made up of Christian knights and created by a Christian king) use the phrase “May the Father of Understanding Guide Us” a lot.

Now, the Father of Understanding we usually know is Tinia but the Capitoline Triad is more or less a title that get used frequently by the Isus, usually to talk about three specific Isu scientists that accomplished something great (and this gives the whole “Holy Trinity” a different connotation in AC Lore)

Another Capitoline Triad was in charge of Project Anthropos which created the humans. Among them is the Father of Understanding “Yaldabaoth”.

Now, you might be wondering: why are we picking Yaldabaoth and not the other two Isus?

Because all three of them are different names taken by the Demiurge, said to be the ‘god’ that created humanity but also limited their knowledge. (There’s the whole ‘Yaldabaoth is not the true god but a false god’ or ‘Yaldabaoth is the god of the old testament’ and other more ‘origins’ for Yaldabaoth so here, have a wiki link if you’d like to know more). Yaldabaoth is, in my experience, the most commonly used name among the three. Also, Father of Understanding of the Templars being Yaldabaoth would make more sense than picking the Sacred Voice or the Mother of Wisdom.

So, in the Lucifer (TV series) x AC crossover idea, I proposed Yaldabaoth as being a different Isu from the Judeo-Christian God to amp up the Isu drama but, for this one, we’ll just assume that Yaldabaoth is the basis of the Judeo-Christian God (because it’s a bit funny that the Templars would be ‘worshipping’ one called ‘false’)

Annnyywaaayy, your idea is there is a ‘hell’ and I think you don’t mean the whole Underworld-Elysium type of setup as the one in the Atlantis DLC of Odyssey.

I feel like the idea of ‘hell’ would work well to my idea of how Desmond is Zagreus’ Sage.

Not the premise itself but the idea of the Afterlife program:

What if the initial idea of the Afterlife is that humans were not meant to reproduce, that they were meant to die and then be revived in a younger body with all their memories intact, making it faster for them to return to work. Elysium houses the data of the exemplary slaves, the best of the crop. The others go to the other parts of the Afterlife (with Tartarus being the part where the data of the ‘defects’ go so they won’t be loaded again).

It was only a bit later that the Isus realized it takes too many resources to keep creating bodies based on human data (DNA) so the next batch of humans could reproduce.

Now, in this context, Tartarus would be the ‘hell’ and, what if, in this setup, the actions of both the Assassins and the Templars would count them as ‘defects’ because they certainly go against what the Isus think humans should be with their desire for free-will or total control (in the hands of humans, bah!).

And, you say eternal war?

Okay.

So I’m going to tip my hand here, those who read my fics last year would know last year, August had the highest fic post count mainly because:

A lot of shit went down in August in AC lore… mostly deaths. (Arno’s bday, Clay’s death, Juno’s death, Umar’s death, (most importantly) Altaïr’s death, etc)

My birthday is in August and I tend to do a Birthday special whenever I’m active which is really just “post more than usual on my birthday!”

I’m explaining this because I actually have an AC fic idea based on the premise of Xenoblade 3’s eternal war which I am hoping I would be able to write this August and this ask gives me the chance to talk about it. XD

So the idea was, there would be two main factions that kept on fighting one another, locked in an eternal war. Their entire life, all they know is that they’re meant to live for one year (yeah, not ten years, one year) then they will either die on the battlefield or they would be given the chance to meet their mentor and be ‘initiated’. But for them to live up to their final week, their cube must not be empty and the only way to fill it even just a little is by either killing enemy soldiers or letting the cube absorb important artifacts of their enemies. Both factions mainly used three-person cells but there are rumors of four-person spec ops teams.

So the plot was meant to start with a POV from Arno’s team which is composed of him, Evie, and Jacob. They get a mission to find some kind of artifact and they get sidetracked because they’re attacked by an enemy cell composed of Bayek, Eivor, and Kassandra who are presumably after the same artifact.

Their fight gets broken up by a comet-like thing crashing down near them and they assumed it’s the artifact they were after so they raced to get there first. When they get there, the artifact looked like… a pod?

Figures clad in robes and masks appeared all of a sudden with one of them stepping forward to say, “Do not be rash, father. It doesn’t have to end this way. Return what is rightfully ours and I will ensure that the Grand Masters’ punishment will be light.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” A man’s voice comes out from underneath the pod and it opens to reveal some kind of small cockpit. A man with dirty blond hair stepped out of the pod together with what seemed to be some kind of coffin following him by floating behind him.

He touches the coffin just as the masked man says, “Father, don’t-!”

They hear a hissing sound as air leaves the coffin as it slowly opens, revealing a sleeping young man. The young man gasped awake and grabbed his right hand tightly, coughing painfully. The blond man turned to face him and asked, “Do you remember who you are? Desmond?”

“Who…” The man called Desmond stared at him for a moment before he said, “I know you…”

“My name is Edward Ken-”

Bang!

Desmond’s eyes widened as blood splattered on his face and Edward fell on him before sliding down.

The masked man lowered the pistol he had fired as he said, “I had hoped it did not come to this, father.”

Desmond’s eyes widened as he recognized the voice.

“Haytham?”

(Yeah, I’m ending it there. I mean… I have more notes that includes what the fuck is actually going on but I guess this ask has been hijacked into a sneak peek on what you guys might get in August)

[chasebian]

well. at least caitlyn and vi like to get their freak on

[emelinstriker]

not me eating ur content and you should put me on ur target list cuz imma bout to go CrAzY-

Sadly the list mostly relies on motivation and the sudden overwhelming urge to strike someone down with a direct hit to their weakspot-

SO- have a general hit of somethin' I'm working on instead c:

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

What if I told u,,,,, a RepairBot-Reader comic-tidbit was in the works,,,,

(WiPs!)

Featuring! A small and sweet moment for ReaderBot making a new friend <3

(don’t worry, there’s some nice angst in there, too)

: )

What do you see, ReaderBot ?

[morelikesin]

Taking back to the road was a mastery of discipline - it was all too tempting to remain at the river: its cooling water refreshing on parched throats and clean on ripe skin, and the lingering taste of salted Slaughterfish and fried sturgeon in their mouths a convincing beckon to stay a while longer and eat more.

And yet, feet taking to the rock of the road, they willed that longing for leisure away. Packs heavy on their backs, sun warming their skin - a respite from the chill of the waterfront and the morning air - a new day lay before them: ripe for adventure and peril.

A quiet hum cut through the early morn, sound familiar and just up ahead by their gracious merry-band leader.

It hadn't taken long for the hushed song to be taken as an invitation; the etched Sámi hide drum strapped at Octavio's side, a tagelharpa carefully tied within the inner hide of Blóðhundr's cloak, their hide drum Natalie still carried on her back beneath her pack, and a replenished band of willing voices made the possibility attainable.

A look over their shoulder, brief before their head turned forward again, and they broke their song to speak before resuming their precious voice:

“Ríðum.”

Let's ride.

The relevance of the song's name had not gone unnoticed, considering.

Blóðhundr's sung this before, from time to time: familiar sound overheard from behind a door as they whittled, from one of the benches in the courtyard as they tanned a freshly-hunted hide, from a voice trying to busy itself in the training hall as they wet their drum and tested its reverberant sound amidst the welcome wind and waves; now was, in the party's eager effervescence, the chance to prove how much they've listened to them.

Hum drawing away from supposed words into a melody, Blóðhundr’s hands found themselves fetching their instrument - their left knuckles knocking against the backside wood to imitate a beat, their voice demonstrating the melody, their right hand, bow now retrieved, playing a rhythm with the strings.

Their demonstrations were typically ephemeral. This was no different; after working through one, two, three phrases, moments long each, they paused and settled their left hand to properly hold their tagelharpa against their body as they walked, and their bowing arm slightly lifted to begin downward.

A nod, and the flats of Octavio's fingers tapped against the face of the drum. Natalie's inexperience was made up for in enthusiasm as her thumb beat against the hide material in thick thumps. Guttural, monotone hums left the men, and finally, after their solo brevity, Blóðhundr moved their bow in fantastic melody.

“Ríðum, ríðum, rekum yfir sandinn

Rennur sól á bak við Arnarfell

Hér á reiki er margur óhreinn andinn

Úr því fer að skyggja á jökulsvell.”

Let’s ride, let’s ride, let’s carry on on the road

The sun is setting down behind Arnarfell

Here wanders the very impure spirit

When it dusks over the glacier.

[gxdslicer]

[izuizzy]

Art Dump #2

[rhythmcrown]

Yeah, me too buddy

[bass-boosted ice cap intensifies]

[creativenicocorner]

that's right lads, I meant what I said in the notes of ch2 in Glow Worms

[winxwannabe]

Happy 5(ish) years to one of my favorite roasts, and friendly reminder this had to go through tumblr appeals because I said Helia had a huge dic-

The Specialist Roast of 2019

Absolutely no Specialist was spared in this new season.  I honestly thought I’d be ranting about the girls or B/Valtor but they weren’t even bad except for the whitewashing but that deserves its own post!  Instead, our boys have been Bamboozled.  And I need an outlet, so welcome to my roast because all the boys suck.

Sky?  Ever After High Daring Charming ripoff, except with none of the charm and voiced by Icon™ Frank Welker.  Fuckin jinkies.

honestly tho he’s the one I hate least with the new changes

Brandon?  Currently going through his scene phase.  Rumored to be bringing MCR back together for a reunion tour.  Idolizes Kylo Ren.

“GET THOSE BANGS OUT OF YOUR EYES OR SO HELP ME-” “iT’s nOt A pHAsE mOM!!1!” *door slam*

Riven? …just beyond help.  No one, not even the Riven stans, are loyal to Riven at this point.  His hair is so triangular it’s in a fight with Phineas from Phineas and Ferb to be recognized at “The Triangle Cartoon Character”

“cant believe i fucking came back for this bs”

Timmy?  Looks like he has no idea why he’s here.  Also going through an Emo Bangs Phase™, but not as hardcore because he still has his nerd glasses.

Also in the running for World’s Flattest Ass.  I can’t believe someone was paid to draw that.

Nex?  I know over the years I have not been the biggest fan of the guy, but this is just cruel.

boy looks like a fucking gremlin.  why are his eyebrows doing that???  The only positive would be if those fucking sideburns are gone, but I get the sinking feeling they’re just under his weird chin helmet.

And Helia…dear, sweet Helia.

at least they gave him a huge dic-

[kiryoutann]

warning(s): MDNI, sexual contents, possible dacryphilia.

Breaking the kiss, Simon gives a slow thrust upwards, grunting as he feels your warm labia. You straighten your back to sit on his pelvis, doing your own set of hip rolls as his hands guide you.

“No more tears f’me, ye ‘ear?” He meets your eyes before lowering it to the tantalizing view of your glistening body, causing another twitch of his impatient cock. “I ain’t worth it.”

The tip of his cock brushes against your folds when he thrusts his hips once more. A small mewl escapes your moist lips, vertebrae drawn like a curve of a bow as his length slowly enters your hole.

“No—no, don’t say that. You’re—mmh!” You stumble over your words, voice shaking both from emotion and physical overwhelm. “You’re always worth it, Simon.”

Sweet thing, unaware of the effect her puffy eyes and tear-stained cheek have on a man as corrupt as him. Struggling to find words while he fills her up, trying to convince him that he's worth something.

“That so?”

Biting your lip, you nod. “Yes,”

“Yeah?”

Without waiting for a reply, he grips your hips and slams you against him in one swift thrust. Your eyes fluttered shut on a gasp as he sank home. He groans at the blissful feeling, the remnants of your last orgasm completely coating him. But he has never been a man of gratitude; the gaping hole near his ribs—right where the scar he has shown you and told you about—seems to consume every fulfillment he might have, leaving him perpetually feeling unsatisfied and not enough.

Right now, he felt utterly insufficient. His old soul was always left wanting for more. That stupid, almost pathetic desire for proof that he would never truly believe—

“Prove it then, love.”

And well, he is a selfish man after all.

[sneak peek of chapter 10 of "A MAN'S HEART IS TRULY A WRETCHED, WRETCHED THING.". FULL VERSION OUT NOW.]

[nokay08]

JOXTER AND SNUFKIN REUNITING

(sound from the Kung Fu panda 3 reunion)

I don't consider it spoilers since joxter is shown in the sneak peek.

Don't mind the lack of nose fur? on joxter, I forgot about it 🤦

[theleotarot]

Your Next Relationship ♡

Pick the image(s) that you feel drawn to or resonate most with. Pile 1,2, and 3. ♡

Ko-Fi tipping and extended readings

Pile 1

(The Sun, The Moon, The Hanged Man, 6 of Swords, Beaver, Mouse, The Underworld, Self-Indulgence, & Cut Down)

Hi Pile 1, welcome to your reading. ♡ It looks like your next relationship with your partner is deeply about facing your fears together. I strongly believe that one or both of you have went through a dark period in your life, and when you are with this person, you are able to confide in them, and they can with you as well. I see the both of you doing a lot of inner healing with each other. I do think you, Pile 1, have had so much negativity in your lives or past trauma that it makes you super hypervigilant and it can shift into your relationship, possibly overthinking and sabotaging the relationship in some ways. Although this is a downside, I do see your person being extremely patient with you, not just when you are self-doubting at times, but patient in general. They are the type of person who will wait for you when things get hard like heated arguments, and to the easy things like waiting for you to get your makeup or hair done for an event lol. I see that their patience also is shown through their acts of love. I think your person loves to build things with and for you, Pile 1. I sense that they love making diy gifts for you, or another term- they enjoy crafting new art for your liking. I think your person loves to build the relationship much stronger with you. For some reason, I am getting a construction worker, but take it as it resonates only. If not a construction worker, I do think your person is very knowledgeable about building things, or they just like to craft things on their own time. I also get that your person makes lots of sacrifices in your relationship for you. They would go through riptides for this relationship and for you. I’m hearing that they would put you on a pedestal. In a sense, I’m kind of hearing that they may let you in after a period of rethinking, in other words, they sacrifice their fears of love for you because that’s just how much they love you. As for the relationship on your side, I do believe that you are your person’s “life saver.” You bring them to calmer waters of life, and I just get a sense that you bring them so much peace. I think you are their safe space and they do feel like you’re the protector. I also see that you may be very good at advice, this is one thing that they will love about you as well. You may like to be very organized within your relationship, or just in general. Right now, I’m seeing a vision where you take your person’s hand and say “Cmon let’s do this!” and happily run with them. I get the feeling that when you are excited in your relationship, you’re very quick, witty, and playful. They think it’s cute haha. I do think that when problems arise, someone here does the silent treatment, or just needs time to rethink things, it could be you or your partner. This is one thing that I see that may affect the relationship, however, it does get fixed and both of you are able to overcome it with sacrificing for one another. I really do think that you and your partner let each other in, even during the scariest times pertaining to emotional vulnerability, maybe more so at the beginning of the relationship. One thing I am also getting, you both may like to do certain activities together that are considered frightening or challenging. Perhaps, things like skydiving, skinny-dipping, or maybe you just like to watch horror movies together lol. Pile 1, your next relationship radiates a lot of positivity and light. I am sure that one or both of you have not had such a great past, but with your next partner, they will be your sun and you will be theirs, making life more hopeful for the both of you.

Ko-Fi Extended Reading: Sneak peek into an intimate moment with your next partner

If you enjoyed this reading, please consider donating to my tip jar on Ko-Fi. Any donation is greatly appreciated. 💖

Pile 2

(4 of Cups, The Moon, Temperance, The Magician, Moth, Peacock, The Sustainer, Blowing Kiss, & Phoenix)

Hi Pile 2, welcome to your reading. ♡ For your next relationship, I see that both of you will be very nurturing to each other. I see a lot of providing for one another in terms of money, food, love care, affection, and reciprocity in general. I see that the both of you will always keep this relationship alive because the both of you are very much invested with each other. I think that the activities that the both of you do will be very interactive with each other. For instance, I see that the both of you may love to cook dinner together, draw art together, go shopping together, or take lots of pictures together. You may even like to play instruments together 😢 Maybe sing together too. I strongly feel that both of you bond over similar interests, this is so sweet. I feel like quality time is the love language that both of you do together the most. I'm hearing that you are their rock, and you are their rock. I get a sense that both of you do trust each other and as said before, I think that both of you provide a lot for each other more than any other partners that you may have had in the past did. It’s like, at the end of a day, no matter if it was bad or good, both of you will always be there for one another. “You can count on me like 1,2,3 I’ll be there…” by Bruno Mars is what I’m channeling. I think that when the both of you first come together, you or they have entered a new phase in your life, perhaps from a dark period, and when the both of you unite, you both will become disinterested in anything else that does not serve you anymore. I’m hearing “The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color” by Taylor Swift. This is kind of how you both feel in the relationship, everything else is white noise because you both found happiness in each other. I will mention that even though you both may block out other people or things when you are together, this relationship is still very healthy. It feels healthy and radiates lots of unconditional love. I also want to mention that I am getting the feeling that maybe this next person that you will be in a relationship with, first, you both will come together, but then have a phase of disconnect, and as time passes, you both rekindle things with each other. Take that as it resonates only. After this phase of disconnect, that is when this unconditional love will grow.

Like pile one, I see that your person will be very patient with you as well. I think they love taking care of you, nurturing you, and showering you with all their love. I think they do a lot of this not only with providing for you or spending time with you, but also in terms of acts of service. If you like your cup of coffee a certain way at Starbucks, they will run to the store and get that exact order for you no matter what time of day or even if they are busy. I can see that they are a breakfast in bed type of person, surprising you when you open your eyes with a homemade breakfast and maybe some flowers. They are also a shoulder for you to cry on whenever you need to release emotions. I think that this person will always wait for you under any circumstance, especially if there are any arguments or separation that has happened will always have that love and care for you so they will be willing to wait to patch things up with you. I'm hearing that they're very fragile with you and they see you as someone very precious and they want to protect your heart. For you Pile 2, I am getting that you are extremely confident in your relationship with this person. Perhaps you love to really show them off to the world. Maybe when you both are out in public you love to tug on their arm and hold them firmer not only because you love physical touch but because you are so glad you are with this person and you're very fortunate enough to be with them. I think you work very hard to also reciprocate your person's love back to them and you would give anything to help them achieve their goals and dreams. Pile 2, I also want to say that I feel like you have always dreamt of having a partner like you're next partner in your relationship, you've always manifested a person like this and I feel like once you are actually in a relationship with this type of person, this is the reason why you treat them like they are such a prize. Because they are everything you dreamt of, even though everyone has flaws this person does fit into your standards extremely well. I believe you are very supportive of everything good that your person sets for themselves, kind of like you are their own personal cheerleader haha.

Ko-Fi Extended Reading: Sneak peek into an intimate moment with your next partner

If you enjoyed this reading, please consider donating to my tip jar on Ko-Fi. Any donation is greatly appreciated. 💖

Pile 3

(9 of Swords, 7 of cups, Ace of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, Mouse, Cheetah, The Mother, Back Stabbing, & Grounding)

Hi Pile 3, welcome to your reading. ♡ Like pile 2, your next relationship will be very nurturing. You and your next partner love to take care of one another, coming through to me right now, both of you love physical touch. You both love the physical acts of cuddling, hugging, kissing, and I just get the sense that both of you love to express your love through nice gestures such as certain hand placements on an area that you love. I see this next relationship being a lot in a home setting and both of you really take time to yourselves to just be in each other's company. Lots of cuddling. I see that this is the type of love that is similar to a “home life.” Not only that but I do see that you both feel very be safe with each other and you both are very reliable when it comes to this relationship. For some reason right now what I'm getting is that for some reason either you or your person loves to feed the other person. Like let's say you both are eating chocolate covered strawberries, one of you would love to feed the other person the strawberry because you just love the act of nourishing the other lol. I’m hearing baths together as well, or maybe you both love showering together. This relationship feels comfortable and safe. Now, I do see that maybe in the beginning of your relationship, there are certain choices that must be made that is causing anxiety or worry in some sort of way. The energy that I'm getting from this is that and maybe in the past you've gone through some sort of pain or loss which has made you or them super independent and protective of your own heart. Then once you find this relationship, someone here will be a bit hesitant to actually be open to be with the other person. This isn't purposely done or maliciously intended, it is just the way that people naturally protect themselves from being hurt. I do see there's someone here is very focused on either their career, school, or money and in a way it kind of stops the other person from entering this relationship at the beginning. It's kind of like a push and pull that I'm feeling because on one side, there's a part of someone here who wants to love and wants the relationship to be happy, but the other side of the person is very hurt from the past and they're afraid to be vulnerable and get hurt again. Of course eventually you both will open up with each other about the past and learn to let the other person in, but I do see that throughout your relationship, when insecurities arise you will feel the anxiety or maybe they will and it may cause stress at times. I do absolutely see the love here and there is stability in this relationship, I just see that both of you need to work together to overcome any type of doubt or fears that you may have during your relationship.

For your person in the relationship, I see that they bring a lot of spark in your life, especially if you feel like your life is very boring, dull, or saddening. I get the sense that they bring the excitement back in your life, and perhaps they inspire you to do even better with whatever goals that you have in mind. I think that your person makes you laugh a lot as well. I think they're a very helpful person in this relationship, and let's say anytime that you need help with a project, they would be there to put their ideas into the project and help you out. I get a sense that they are very resourceful and knowledgeable when it comes to certain projects or ideas, they are very creative. One thing I'm also getting right now is that you may find them extremely attractive. They just bring out a side of you that is literally like a cougar lol. For you pile 3, I get a sense that you're very successful and you've made a lot of achievements in many aspects of your life. Because you work so hard to achieve great things into your life, you've adopted to being very perseverant and hard working that this is deeply shown in your relationship. I do see that this person absolutely admires your work ethic and all your efforts and consistency that you show in this relationship. I think that maybe in the past your person's previous partners may have not giving them their all, but you do, and I see that that's one thing that they really do love about you. I think you also inspire them to do better, in terms of success with practical goals. I really do see you putting a lot of consistency and hard work throughout your relationship, whether it be pushing through obstacles, or one thing I'm getting right now is that you're the type of person to stay up all night to make something for your partner because that's how much you love them. I'm getting that you would sacrifice a lot just for your person and your person does see that in you. They value you a lot. It's a very sweet energy.

Ko-Fi Extended Reading: Sneak peek into an intimate moment with your next partner

If you enjoyed this reading, please consider donating to my tip jar on Ko-Fi. Any donation is greatly appreciated. 💖

[maiko-san]

Catnap + Dogday x Reader ( Part 3 )

<<< Part 2 , Part 4 >>>

Relationship: Fluff

Warning : Hurt/comfort

Character focused : Catnap, Fem! Reader

Plot : Even though you manage to win Catnap's favour through treats

A/n : As a reminder, Catnap is Theo who is a 7 year old child during this period. He's the youngest out of all Smiling Critters in my headcanon since he was the last smiling critter to be shown by MOB!

"Here's your treat for the day! You did even better than before, I'm proud of you!"

Catnap has been doing quite well recently. Giving him rewards after he did his job does the trick pretty well.

Guess one way to someone's heart is through food was a thing after all.

Catnap sits there as he stares at the food you've given him.

You were busy looking through your clipboard to even notice that the feline hasn't left his spot.

Catnap always questioned himself, why do you care about him?

Almost all the staff here ignore him completely as if he never exists, except you.

He is considered as a troublesome mascot to deal with, even before he was Catnap.

Just why....?

Why do you waste your time on him when you can focus on other mascots?

Catnap likes how you treated him. You were gentle as the others had said.

You finally notice the purple feline hasn't left the room, usually Catnap would slip away immediately after he gets his treat and eat it somewhere else.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"...."

Catnap only looks down on you with those beady white eyes, before tilting his head slightly.

The feline mascots got on all four without breaking eye contact with you, he leans his face close to you and says.

"Why?"

"Pardon?"

"Why do....you care about me.......?"

You quirk an eyebrow at his questions, yes his file did said he was troublesome but why did he ask such a question?

"It's simple, it's my job to take care of each one of you. Not only just that, I want to be your friend!"

"You....want to be my...friend?"

"Yeah!"

The only close friend he had was Dogday and The Prototype, he wasn't that close to the other Smiling Critters since they rarely interact with him.

But the idea of having a new friend makes him happy.

He has a new friend. Catnap picks you up by surprise and holds you high up in the air.

Your body went stiff as you cling onto the mascot's paws for dear life. You weren't used to being picked up by the mascots yet. You're 20 ft in the air!

"You are my friend now...."

Catnap said with a wide smile on his face with his tail standing up straight behind him.

He feels very happy!

From that day, Catnap would sneak around to see you and to cuddle with you.

Every time you scratch under his chin, the feline would purr very loudly and you swore that it would cause the entire office to shake.

Sometimes Catnap would be a menace and push things off the desk just to mess with you.

There is one time you decide to play peek-a-boo with the feline mascot, which turns out to be horrifying and Catnap would get closer every time you take a peek.

But it was a fun game.

Catnap mostly spends his day in your office, with him curling around your desk and has his tail wrapped around your leg, so you couldn't go anywhere while he's asleep.

"Catnap...I need to go to the bathroom..."

"....."

"Catnap, please"

Don't get you started when you caught him trying to fit himself in a small box. It was hilarious and cute at the same time.

Like Dogday said, Catnap is a friendly and sweet cat.

Seeing how he acts around you reminds you of your days in the orphanage. Yes, you were once an orphan, seeing these smiling critters reminded you of the younger orphans that you used to take care of. The way they act brings up old memories in your mind.

You wish to see them but the orphanage you once lived in no longer exists due to financial problems just a year after you were dismissed.

The residents around the place told you that they were moved to someplace else, which the location remained unknown.

You hoped that they were able to find a perfect home and have loving families.

TIMESKIP

You're looking through the files, you have done with all the Smiling Critters except for Catnap....

Your supervisor doesn't let you check on him for a reason.

In his file, Catnap is stated as 'Dangerous' and only a high-class personnel is able to do a maintenance check on him.

You always wonder why though....

They would bring him somewhere and return him to the playcare a week later, he would come back looking exhausted and malnourished.

His fur isn't as soft as the other critters, it was rough and matted, sometimes you could smell the scent of burned....flesh on him and also a hint of blood too.

Also, Catnap always has new wounds on his body. Especially his wrists and chest area, like he was prodded by something. Which worries you a lot, what did the higher ups have done to him?

Once the playcare is closed down for the night, you sneak into his hidden room so you could give him a proper treatment.

"It's alright, just rest as much as you can"

"It hurts..."

"I know, I'll do as much as I can to make the pain stop. I-I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything to help you, I wish I could've done more...."

It was heart wrenching to see Catnap this way, his head is huddled close to your body as he seeks comfort in your embrace.

The sound of his weak purr was the only thing that fills the silence in the small room.

After 6 months working for the Playcare you came to realize that these smiling critters are able to bleed....

Pickypiggy cut herself up when she was using the knife during one of her cooking sessions on her stage. Poor Picky bleeds a lot from the cut and you had to stitch her up and bandage her wound.

You had a suspicition that the higher ups are hiding something, something sinister and dark. You had asked some of your coworkers/seniors about it but they just dismissed you.

Saying that you grew TOO attached to these mascots and start to see them as real people.

The sudden shift of Catnap brings you out from your deep thoughts.

"Can you sing me....a lullaby, my star....."

"Of course"

A/n : I added a little of Reader's lore here :D. Thank you for enjoying the chapters so far!

I have a headcanon for the smiling critters which is—

That they don't remember about their previous lives as a human until 'The Hour of Joy' happens, the only Smiling Critters that are aware of it is Catnap/Theo himself.

So, after 'The Hour of Joy' happens, the smiling critters start to remember their past lives and from the moment they become more aware of their existence and barely clinging on the last bit of sanity they have left.

[oops-all-concrete]

Okay, you lovelies voted for fluff, so you're getting fluff! Welcome to:

BG3 companions react to: Tav drawing the companions in their sketch book! (Romance implied)

Beware spoilers and cuteness ahead, please enjoy!

Lae'zel -

Eventually she gets irritated of being stared at, while Tav is sat pencil in book and puts down her sword from being sharpened, and paces over. "Chk. You've been ogling at me like a child for at least ten minutes. Is it with purpose or are you simply bad at keeping to yourself?" She asks, head tilted with wide eyed threat. Once she gets a glance at the page, she softens, jaw unclenching, shoulders dropping. She admires the sketch before she realises she too, is staring. "Hmm. Acceptable. Continue" Before she returns to her tent, and totally doesn't stay stiller on purpose.

Shadowheart -

Shadowheart doesn't suspect a thing, until she passes by them and totally doesn't take a glance in the journal from over Tavs shoulder. She pauses and appreciates the work long enough for Tav to realise they're being watched. "Oh don't mind me. I'm just appreciating my good side from your point of view." She smiles. "Oh, we should draw each other! I haven't sketched in so long, but I'd like for you to see what I see too." She offers, going and grabbing her own sketch set, sitting beside Tav, comfortably drawing them.

Wyll -

He allows Tav their privacy, even if they stare sometimes. He needs to be physically shown because he is too polite to snoop or look over their shoulder. Upon being shown, he smiles, but winces a little. "Oh, I love it, don't get me wrong. You've captured the Blade of Frontiers in all his glory...just, all his glory with horns and the devil's details" He chuckles, trying not to seem dissappointed. But upon another look, his eyes become wider with wonder. "...you know what, if thats what I look like to you, it's not as bad as I thought." He smiles.

Karlach -

She's nosy, okay? So when Tav puts down their book to help Gale with dinner, she sneaks a little peek, grabbing the pages with a clean cloth. She however, gives herself away immediately. "WOAH??" The whole camp turns but Karlach does not take notice. "SOLDIER?? YOU DREW THIS?? THIS IS AMAZING!" She yells, eyes bright, brows up, grin wide with teeth. The camp settles while dinner happens, but later in the evening, she pulls Tav aside to show them something. Upon a large empty plot of just dirt, Tav finds their face messily drawn with a stick into the dirt. "Can't quite draw right now, or ever really, but I wanted you to have a portrait too. Not bad, eh?"

Gale -

"Oh, and who's that handsome fellow?" He smirks, catching sight of the page one day. He asks for a better look and takes a moment to admire the sketch, before frowning. "Did you...draw me with gray hairs? Am I graying??" He asks, a hand combing through his so well maintained mane. "You didn't know?" Astarion weighs in, finding an opportunity to bully the wizard. "For a human, you are at that age, are you not, Gale?" Lae'zel adds. The wizard makes an almost theatric gasp, crossing his arms. "Gray suits you Gale!" Karlach insists, taking the drawing from Gale and admiring it. Gale pauses, looks again, and grins. "Now that you mention it..."

Astarion -

"Okay, so, that's clearly not any of the imbeciles over there, what handsome young men have you been seeing without me?" He jokes. It takes a minute, but the way Tav looks between Astarion and the book, gives it away. "...oh. That's me?" He seems to entirely lose his ability to speak. He gestures to take the book and have a better look, running his hand over the sketches, and then over his face, seeming almost confused. When prompted, he clears his throat. "Well, it's- ah, certainly flattering. Nice to have such a flattering mirror" He smiles, slipping back into his more confident persona. "In fact, I'd love to keep such a flattering masterpiece, if that would be quite alright with you?" He smiles confidently, but the way his eyes stray to the sketch tells all.

Bonus! The older generation

Halsin -

"I cannot recall the last time I have received a portrait in such likeness." He smiles fondly when Tav shows him the piece. "Might I take this back to the Grove? I'm particularly fond of anything you do really- but especially this" He asks, warm smile spread over his face. Should Tav allow it, he gives the best hug in thanks, promising to return the flattery in kind. (Yes, it will be whittling)

Jaheira -

Of course she gets a look while Tav is distracted. "Not bad. Better that bard songs, that's for sure" She smiles, nodding at the adventurer. She takes a second look and thinks for a moment. "...When did my face get so wrinkly?" She asks in a vaguely dissapointed wonder.

Minsc -

"Oh, my friend, you have a talent of flattery!" He claps and grins when he sees the work, but seems to be looking for something. "Oh- Erm, might I ask a question...where is Boo? You cannot have the great Minsc without his tiny, fluffy brain on his shoulder!" He asks, proudly producing the hamster in hand. Tav turns the page to reveal quite a few sketches of Boo. "What?? Did Boo pose for these?? How is he so accurately cute?? BOO, YOU LOOK ADORABLE! WHY DID NOBODY TELL MINSC IT WAS PORTRAIT DAY??"

Thank you for reading! Let me know what you'd like to read next. I have another poll coming soon as well 👀

[insertdisc5]

Heyo!! I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to answer so many fan questions, and that I, personally, am super stoked for the physical release. It's something I've been hoping for since last year and I want you to know I love everything that's been shown and teased so far! Keep on being your genuine self, and thank you for all your hard work on all the anniversary stuff and TS and beyond! o/

thank you??? so much??? for your kind words??? id never done something like the cover before, and im pretty proud of it, so im glad people like it too ;w; please stay tuned for more Funnie Anniversary Merch

also since this was a very nice ask you get a super special sneak peek of the inside cover. the cover is reversible so you get two covers for the price of one. come here. come here. ill show you a sneak peek of the inside. come here (i show you my clasped hands. i open them slowly. out of it comes...)

thats right. soupe the bird is on the inside cover