#it’s not palliative care yet but. i think it’s getting there.

[lvllns]

the downside is that doc is in fact slowly experiencing neurological decline. which i thought i was seeing, but has now been confirmed which. really sucks.

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

I was exactly halfway into my second pregnancy, and up until that point, we were so ecstatic to be expecting again — a baby we’d been praying for. We kept talking about and imagining the joy it would be to bring our new baby home to meet our 2-year-old daughter. But at my 20-week ultrasound, a day that is supposed to be full of excitement and awe, we received devastating news. Our baby, a second daughter, had many severe and insurmountable skeletal and organ issues. Fetal specialists told us that it was extremely unlikely she could survive because all her major organ systems had significant development issues. We were blindsided and heartbroken, and yet somehow clear-minded. We chose to do what we believed was best for our unborn daughter as well as for our family; because that is what you do as parents. And we saw the choice we ultimately made as an act of love for her. We respect and honor that other parents have chosen — and will continue to choose — the only other option our doctor suggested to us — to let the pregnancy take its natural course and provide specialist or palliative care as needed. And that is the point. Individuals and their families — no matter where they happen to live — must be able to make the best choice for them. They need to be free to choose their own act of love. I believe now more than ever that anyone’s reason for seeking an abortion is valid. Who are we to say it isn’t? What we didn’t know when we made our decision was that in addition to being so difficult emotionally, it would be made so much worse by the abortion bans recently enacted in Idaho. Because of these cruel laws, my Idaho doctors could not provide me with an abortion — something they could easily have done before Roe v. Wade was overturned — in my own community supported by family and friends. We had to spend the following days cold-calling countless clinics in nearby states where abortion is still legal, but found out that because of all the other new abortion bans in states across the country, many clinics had closed, most had no open appointments for several weeks, and still others considered my pregnancy, at 20 weeks, too far along for me to receive care. The thought of waiting out this pregnancy, possibly for weeks, or however long, while trying to get through the day working as a chiropractor and still being active and present for our toddler was more than I could handle. All I could think about was whether the daughter I was carrying was already suffering; my anxiety and sadness were overwhelming. We both felt hopeless and heartbroken until we reached a Seattle clinic with a last-minute cancellation. Although relieved, there was so much we had to do to get there in the haze of our grief. There were flights to make, hotels to book, a car to rent and medical care our health insurance would not cover because we were going out of state to access and receive it. One of the most tragic — and degrading — parts of our situation was knowing that people in my home state of Idaho believe this is acceptable, denying me bodily autonomy. We will always be grateful to the clinic and team in Seattle for offering us professional, compassionate care. I am a person of faith and for months after my abortion, I kept telling Brandon there had to be something positive that would come out of this experience. Several months later, I learned that the Center for Reproductive Rights was putting together a challenge to Idaho’s abortion laws, and I knew immediately that moving forward as a plaintiff in the case was something I had to do. I’m proud to be one of the many women and doctors challenging and broadening these laws. Physicians in Idaho must have greater discretion over when abortion exceptions are warranted, and the decision should be the patient’s in consultation with their doctors.

[lopposting]

guys.

I think I did it.

I think I cracked Lies of P.

(me rn)

i keep going back and forth on carlo's death.

i know i was adamant before, on him dying from the petrification disease. i think logically he would have to have had it because of ergo.

but here's another weird point about his death,

i just realized why we intrinsically think he was killed.

Carlo is wearing his school uniform when his stalker finds him, and on the floor at that. That's quite odd. Maybe not being on the floor, but the uniform. Why the uniform?

"He didn't even come to your graduation?"

For the son of an aristocratic family, would this be the image of a deathly ill son in care? Did Geppetto know? Wouldn't he be in palliative care, as Lady Antonia could afford?

Why wear the uniform after graduating?

"Oh, she's here! Grab her!"

"...Gemini, get rid of them! I'm off!"

Was his death literally right after his graduation, on the same day?

And also, Gemini is a little lamp guy. (She doesn't look to be carrying the lamp.) Why does she tell him to take care of the boys? What can he even do? Tell them off?

Here's another funny thing... We NEVER see Carlo outside of his school uniform. (at least, in the "past", "real" Carlo time line).

And as we know, the school uniform has a prominent Sailor collar, the type that is associated with nautical outfits [down to the three stripes, supposedly called a "naval collar"]. The Graduation pendant that he gives to Romeo is of an anchor. [I know that these are all artifacts of the charity house. but they are nonetheless associated in tangent with Carlo]

When we find Carlo's painting, it's right next to this one of a ship. [also, two bottles on the counter, perhaps representing the "two lives" of Carlo and Pino]

also... when Carlo's memories materialize... it's in the sand. Only on the seaside.

Remember, Romeo seems to be associated with a fire element, and Pino with water, the same seems to go with Carlo. The original novel of Pinocchio itself seems to have a strange fixation on the ocean.

And now, might I present to you:

The DLC images are also of a ship and some kind of water turbine.

Director Choi (in pre-release interview): "I'll put it this way: there are more stories I want to tell in Lies of P, so I hope [it] does well."

Also: "There sure are stories we could not introduce in the game" (talking about the story being adapted into another form)

[basically, that there was more to the story than what was really present in the final game.] I'll leave all this to your consideration without adding my own just yet. (I'll add it in a reblog on my own blog without tagging it) Just kidding I want to keep wasting everyone's time

Perhaps after the events of the game,

This is some sort of effort by Pino to either learn more about the deceased Carlo or try to remember his "previous life" as Carlo, by taking to the sea.

Maybe even after the game, Pino will STILL attempt to "awaken" as him so to speak [:(].

[Maybe he actually will.]

Again, Carlo is strongly associated with nautical elements. Again, he is never seen outside of a sailor suit, basically. Also, when we gain the memories of Carlo, they materialize on the sand, at the seaside. Remember, he DIED in the sailor outfit

Maybe we are to take the "sand memories" more "literally" as they are in the sand?

Did Carlo drown and his body wash ashore, which is why these memories materialize in the sand? Why is he so associated with ships?

Pino is also depicted in the water, remember, including what looks to be concept art that was used for the OST? Maybe it isn't "just" a motif? [even simple things like his "official" coat and his eyes being blue, blue blood's tailcoat, and him being associated with the colour blue in general]

Which is why Pino is pictured in the water, since he was "born" from Carlo's death... He was birthed in the water the same way Carlo died in it?

[more notes in reblog]

[suratan-zir]

I am currently down to 3 rats - Skritch, Baton and Cactus. With Cactus being on palliative care for a brain tumor. Initial plan was to wait until we have only Skritch left (he is the youngest) and switch to female rats, since Skritch is neutered that would be very easy to do. And I miss having girl rats with their crazy energy.

However…There is one lonely siamese boy in our small local pet store. He's been there for months, all alone, and there is very little chance of anyone buying him because he doesn't even come out of his house, and his tiny cage is pushed all the way back behind the counter, under a bunch of other stuff, so costumers can't even see him. The saleswoman says he's depressed and even rejecting food.

I have a big spare cage and all the necessities. So even if he never gets along with my other boys, he would have a place to live. On the other hand, I can't save every rat I feel sorry for. I don't even like siamese coloring, yet I end up having siamese rats in every of my rat groups (Cactus is siamese too), lol. But taking care of two separate cages is daunting. And it takes up a lot of space. And I don't think Skritch is gonna like a newcomer in the house. I have a strong feeling that introduction is gonna be difficult. Why am I creating problems for myself out of nothing?

[changingplumbob]

Little Tiny Update

Details below the cut but trigger free version I was busy today and will likely be busy the rest of the week. I've got stuff queued but eventually there might be a few days gap. Please keep sending me the asks, I will get around to them when I can. Possibly be slower responding to things just because they take brainpower. Much love

Results of the vet visit for my fluffly sister, the cat, today (Tuesday) show she has kidney disease. My IBS nausea was intense all day and taking her there and back took energy. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm getting up early to take her in and they're going to flush her with fluids to try get better kidney numbers. Normally it would happen over 2 days but here our Thursday is ANZAC day so public holiday so vets closed. So I'm glad she won't have to stay there overnight, don't want her thinking she's got another long cattery stay, but it does mean a whole pile of busses tomorrow, thank the lord they let us take cats in carriers on buses here now. Then Friday it'll be another trip in for repeat bloodwork and discussion of how we can change her diet to help.

Probably still in a bit of shock, the vet was saying her physical examination looked good apart from her weight loss from her reduced eating. She has to stop the arthritis pain meds which I'm hoping improves her appetite. The vet doesn't seem to think we need to think about palliative care just yet thank goodness so fingers crossed we'll still have some time with her.

Friends what would really help me is if your posts contain pet illness (realistic illness not the ones that give them glowing red noses etc) or pet death you put a trigger warning and/or put the death below a cut. Scrolling through and seeing a cat passing on is not what I need right now, even if it is a simple sims representation. Obviously I can't tell you how to do your content but it would be appreciated.

[sincerely-sofie]

Okay i just got another idea like right now after reading this post once more (it's the fourth time, i love it so much).

I kinda can't stop thinking of how the child will grow. How will the others (Grovyle, Dusknoir, Celebi, Kip, Cresselia, etc...) act with him? Is he some kind of Darkrai clone or does he have exclusive features (physically or/and with his ability). What kind of person will he want to be or will be? And the question I should have ask before anything else: What is his name.

Also what will be the gender of the child because i say he but if the child really comes from Twig and Ark he can be anything in a way (like, they could be a boy or a girl from Twig but they also can be a neutral gender from Ark)-

Personally, i imagined the idea of the child having similar power and physical body as Ark but with some feature of Twig. They could control the few powers they have of Ark perfectly without trying (they even could be able to not put people around them in nightmares when they fall asleep) but would easily lose control over their negative emotions (Anxiety, Sadness, Anger, Fear, etc...) especially with their personality near of the one of Twig (or even worst than Twig on some point).

I hope i'm not disturbing/annoying you in anyway. I just really love your content and i'm really curious about how you see/imagine things about the PMD lore or your PMD AU. Anyway, have a good night/day, take care of you, stay hydrated, don't forget to eat and rest or there will be consequences 🔫

it's 1AM and i'm still up but do what i say, not what i do-

Neluj

You’re not bothering me whatsoever! It’s always a treat to receive your asks and see all of your ideas and perspectives… also I will regularly open my inbox to plan my next posts and see your reminders to actually take care of myself and always go “OH SHOOT I HAVEN’T EATEN YET TODAY” and bolt into the kitchen to scarf down some leftovers, hehe.

First off: The baby is a girl! Ark proposes naming her Opal for absolutely no reason in particular, and Twig sees no reason to disagree with the name, so that’s what the baby is called from thereon. Pal and Pally are common derivatives used by Twig.

I’m working on a piece that will show how everyone will react to her, but it’s not ready yet, so I’ll just give a teaser: Celebi is completely blindsided by the baby’s appearance— she had no idea that something like that was going to happen in this timeline, and it’s a pretty big event to have missed whenever she peeked ahead in the timeline before now!

I haven’t decided entirely on what Opal’s personality will be as she ages, but for now, she’s pretty much your average baby— minus the crying. She is eerily quiet and barely vocalizes at all, to the point Twig gets worried about her learning to talk— and she promptly says her first full sentence immediately after. She’s very particular about food as well as material textures, and is prone to getting overwhelmed by bothersome sensory input, especially loud and clamorous noises. This isn’t something that she will grow out of, though she will collect a lot of strategies to help manage and minimize her overwhelm as she ages.

As for abilities…

[sentientcave]

It's wip wednesday once again. Have a little more Rugby! Just a short segment bc I'm actually getting close to finishing it and posting the whole thing. Sorry it's mostly dialogue a lot of the other stuff gets added in the editing stages lmao

We join Ripper at his office job... (Your welcome to anyone who thinks Ripper would look hot in a suit. Because he absolutely would)

You're eyeing the clock as it crawls just past 4:15, when someone knocks on your office door. "Come in," you call, reopening exel on your computer so it at least looks like you're doing something productive.

"Hey, pally," Brandon says cheerfully, throwing your door open and sitting in the chair in front of your desk. "How's things?"

A social visit? Brandon is the boss's nephew, and a right idiot. You steer clear, generally, and he's mostly left you alone thus far. "Uh. Fine. Headed out soon."

"Rugby on Friday," he says.

You frown at him. Why would he know that? "Uh. Yeah?"

His grin widens. "Your team's playin' mine. Think you've got a chance?"

You think of Simon and Johnny, and the way they can plow through the opposing team. You didn't even know Brandon played. "Uh. Yeah. Figure we do."

"Care to make it interesting?"

A bet? Is that what he interrupted your day for? "Guess I'd put a tenner on it."

He shakes his head, like you’re being ridiculous. "That wouldn't be very interesting, would it?"

He's angling for something, but it's hard to tell what, exactly. "You have stakes in mind?"

"I do. Figure if my team wins, you'll let me take you out for dinner. If yours does, we can, I dunno, switch offices? Two windows in mine. Your little houseplants might like that." He wiggles his fingers at the plants you have hanging in and sitting in front of the window (Spiderplant Georg, Pontius Pilea, and Monstera Mash. Not that you had ever told anyone in the office that you’d named them).

"Dinner?" You ask. "With you?" It's an insane notion. You barely speak to him. You don't want to speak to him.

"Course with me." He grins at you again, propping his feet up on your desk, leaning back in his chair.

You blink at him. "You're kidding."

"What, you don't think I haven't noticed the way you fill out that suit? You're a little unit, Ripley. Wouldn't mind seeing you outside the office now and again."

"I've got a boyfriend," you say automatically. "It wouldn't be anything more than just dinner."

"We'll see."

You hate him for the way he smiles at you, like he doesn't believe you for a second. You're going to have to ask yet another favour, and see if Johnny or Simon will pretend to be your boyfriend. "Well, I'll take the bet. Wouldn't mind two windows."

He sets his feet down and sticks his hand across the desk. "Can't wait to take you out. We'll have fun."

You stand up to shake his hand, glancing at the clock again. Time to go, thank fucking god. “You’re gonna lose, you know. And even if you don’t, there’s no way Simon won’t sit across the restaurant and glare at you the whole time we have dinner.” Internally, you kick yourself for saying Simon. Johnny’s the more obvious choice, and easier to approach for a favour like that too.

[xoxoemynn]

Alluded to this post yesterday. Just some releasing into the void/explanation for potential quietness, cw: talk of terminal illnesses

In December 2021 my Aunt B lost a nearly 10 year battle with Alzheimer's.

Right around that same time my Aunt M was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

My Aunt M is one of the kindest people I know. She's also aggressively positive and leans heavily on her faith, so it can be difficult to get an accurate update on how she's doing.

However, it became clear in the past two weeks she has taken a turn for the worse. It's not at the point where the end is imminent, but the optimism for having more years with her is greatly diminished. She won't beat the cancer; it's just a question of how much longer her body can hold out.

My dad wanted to visit her before she got worse, so he went to see her this past weekend. I was his chauffeur to/from the train station. He came back looking very shaken. I don't think he was expecting her to be as weak as she was.

Last night Aunt M was admitted to the hospital with an infection. We don't have much in the way of updates yet.

While he was gone, I was also going back and forth to my mom's. She has a number of physical ailments herself, including some daily care she can't tend to herself. It took a lot of coordination/trust for her to be able to be without my dad for a few days and for me to take care of her.

To top it off, Aunt B's widower, who was diagnosed with lung cancer back in 2003 and given a year to live but managed to keep on kicking, opted in the past week to stop chemo and enter palliative care.

Flip side, my 104 year old great aunt is still going strong and told my 76 year old dad he looks very young. She had TMNT on while my dad visited her.

All this is to say, it was a very heavy weekend. I was so busy for most of it that it didn't really hit me until Monday when things calmed down and now I've just walking around in a cloud of sadness. To be clear, I was never super close with my aunts/uncles, although, like I said, my Aunt M is just outrageously kind and her diagnosis was heartbreaking. But I especially feel horrible for my dad, who's probably losing both of his younger sisters in a span of a few years. I'm thinking a lot about my own parents' mortality and what that means and how we'll take care of them once one of them goes. I'm extremely aware there's not really much that can be done, other than to make sure everyone knows they're loved and provide as much comfort as we can. There just seems to be this cloud of illness and death and sadness hanging over my family. It's.......heavy.

I took a last minute PTO today to decompress a bit, and I do overall feel like more of a human. But if I'm quieter in the coming [insert duration of time here], that's why. The sadness just feels inescapable right now.

[inkybloom-luv]

Words Unsaid 12, so there's school festivals here too?

Heya guys! Today there's another setup chapter for you cuties! The chapters will come out slower now as I have not yet read chapter 5 completely so please give me time to do so! In the meantime I'd like to know if drabble requests are something you guys would be interested in.

Slight Chapter 5 spoilers!

Part 1 Part 11 Masterpost Part 13

1.5k+ words

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Even though he slept less than usual Jamil felt strangely energetic today. Perhaps it was because he'd slept the best he had in a while or straight up because he woke up next to Inky. It was such a simple thing but he'd be lying if he didn't wish it would happen more, just because of how nice it felt. Is it bad he wished the prefect would have more nightmares only so he could hold her..? Probably. But as it stood, this was the only way he was able to act on his own feelings. Not like he didn't know Inky had feelings for him before his Overblot but he doubted it was love, now that he'd done what he did. Still he hopes and dreams as he stirred the non-proverbial pot of curry in front of him. It was one of the dishes he was making for lunch. He was making something else for Kalim, of course, as Kalim obviously didn't like curry.. but Jamil and Inky could have it, especially since the prefect did say one time she really wanted to eat something Jamil made and admitted in the same sentence that they've been looking to try more foreign food like different curries. Also in that sentence they said that anything Jamil made would be more than satisfactory though.

At the same time that day Kalim was at a housewarden meeting, simply to discuss the future event that would be held soon. The National Arcane Academy Cultural Fair. It was a yearly event mostly consisting of artistic type events like poetry slams, research presentations and, the most well known part of it all, the SDC. The SDC, or Song & Dance Championship, was a contest for singers and dancers, basically any musical talent, to go up on stage, by themselves or in a group, and show their aforementioned talent to the world to show who was the best of the participants that year. The winners would get not only a monetary prize but also a ticket to stardom. Of course that ticket to stardom wasn't exclusive to first place but they had the best chance.

Riddle, who was head of the planning committee was rambling on and on about the details but the report was necessary. Turns out both Vil Schönheit and Neige LeBlanche would be participating this year as well, which meant extra press coverage for the school. Crowley was delighted about this of course and put up audition posters through negotiation with Vil that very same day. They were plastered all over a few notice boards, especially the one in the cafeteria. By lunchtime it was surrounded by people, which had sent Ace, Deuce and Grim to check it out. Inky stayed seated with Jamil and Kalim, though the occasional glance was thrown their way, since she was pally with Kalim as well as Jamil, who had literally tried to off them over the winter holidays that ended recently. Not that Inky really cared.

Unfortunately she did have to tear herself away from the Scarabian duo as she had class duty along with Deuce for the upcoming alchemy lesson and Ace was tagging along to chat. Speaking of Kalim and Jamil, that was where the conversation drifted, though grim did most of the talking.

"Seriously, first he tries to manipulate and kill you and now you're friends? Kinda weird if you ask me" Ace commented.

"Don't call my hench-human weird! Besides, it's not like he hasn't apologized and more. He's been taking care of me and Inky very well, Kalim also..! I think my henchman and I can decide who we, mostly I as a great mage, will spend our time with!"

"Thank you Grim.. I think that gets the point across. Besides.. Jamil is really nice to me, I like him a lot" The two half-students said, one confirming the other.

"What, you're still crushing on the guy? How? He literally gave you a massive scar on your arm, he could have ended you..!" Ace once again protested.

"And again, he apologized."

"You believe that?"

"Yes and you know next to nothing about him so I won't be hearing another word out of you about this..!" The prefect said, anger lacing into her stern tone, sending ace a small glare.

"Alright alright, I'll shut up" He said, though not happy about it. Before their conversation continued though, they were promptly distracted by singing.

"Who's singing? It sounds really nice" Deuce said as they listened, right after though, the singer seemed to choke up on their own voice, which sounded less than healthy. So, with slight concern, the group closed in on where the sounds were coming from, the well in the school courtyard.

Upon approach they met another first year, his name was Epel Felmier. He had lavender hair and blue eyes, his stature was small and skinny but well balanced, his skin was pale too and he spoke in a generally soft voice, unless some sort of accent came out that Inky personally could not place. All went well until they were interrupted by the Pomefiore housewarden Vil Schönheit. He had a regal presence, something like a king or queen in a sense that he was confident and knowledgeable in a few areas. Basically a perfect upperclassman if it weren't for his temper at that moment. Vil was upset that Epel was not training so he wanted to move Epel somewhere else so he wouldn't get interrupted. This went over wrong with Ace as well as Deuce as they misinterpreted Vil's tone and words. The fight that ensued wasn't even that long as Vil was vastly better at his magic than those two unfortunate souls.

The end result was an utter defeat which gave Vil the opportunity to leave with the lavender haired boy. Though not before the latter waved goodbye to Inky as she ushered Ace and Deuce up on their feet to clean themselves up and check for scrapes. She did wave back though. They went to Professor Crewel's lab and classroom, setting up the next lesson with the instruction of the teacher. In the midst of this, another student came in.

This girl was pale as can be and her hair was back length and white. She was rather short as well.

"Hello professor Crewel! I'm here to deliver those late project papers you asked me to go get" Her voice rang through the room as she grinned in a friendly way, waving to the first year trio that was setting up.

"Poor guy was really under the weather, caught a stomach bug or something but he'll be fine. He's over the worst of it according to the nurse, he needs a day or two to recover properly."

"Good girl, thank you for informing me. You have a free period now, yes? Why don't you sit in on the first years and help out? I could use a helping hand to whip these bumbling pups into shape and you're on the school's student tutoring program, so you'd be a good fit." Crewel said, to which the pretty student agreed as he explained what they would be doing during the class period.

It gave Inky the ability to look at her a little more closely. She had facial piercings and some on her ears. The ones on her face were a septum and a lip ring as far as Inky could tell. She didn't wear a blazer, had her sleeves rolled up and her purple vest was open. She wore her white blouse tied up in a way that it would expose her stomach, though not in a war that was inappropriate. She wore a shorter skirt variant at her hips that ended above her knees and flip flops as her footwear. It left a lot of questions as to how she wasn't cold. Then again it wasn't too cold, simply chilly.. she dressed like it was summer though. She had jewelry too, a few rings, a choker and a necklace, an anklet, two bracelets and on her other arm she wore her Pomefiore Armband, except she had it tied more around her wrist than anything, like another bracelet.

That lesson was over quickly, and it was fairly nice. Turns out the student's name was Alani and she helped out around the classroom after having changed into appropriate gear. She was a Pomefiore third year apparently and had heard about the prefect from Leona, whom she visited during spelldrive practice after school occasionally so she could exercise with them. She was good at explaining things and this included her clothing. Apparently she was dressed the way she was because it was usually hot or at least warm here compared to her homeland, which was very far up north. In conclusion the lesson was lovely and after all the cleanup the prefect even managed to get Alani's number, for emergencies or if Inky ever really needed or wanted something.

The rest of the school day went off without a hitch as well, only really starting to pick up the pace when ace and Deuce along with grim decided they would contact this 'Rook' character to get an audition appointment.

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

@leonistic

@dove-da-birb

@azulashengrottospiano

@az-flaming-sword

@escaaaaaanyeh

@viperwhispered

@krenenbaker

[arctic-hands]

Right so this post was getting annoyingly long with constant reblogging of updates, so I'm compiling it all here. My eighteen-year-old cat Nerys has intestinal and liver cancer. She sees an oncologist an hour away on Monday the seventeenth, but she's so old and the cancer is most likely so advanced that chemo or radiation would do just as much harm as the cancer itself, and her regular vet estimates she has about six months until we need to make the call to put her down, and I'll need money for palliative care. The oncology visit alone is two hundred and fifty dollars alone, plus gas money and we'll have to drive on a toll road.

On top of that I just got back from the vet today (October fifteenth) who confirmed that the facial swelling my eleven-year-old cat Everest has is an aggressive face tumor. I left a message with Nerys's oncologist asking if we can take Everest to the Monday appointment too because time is of the essence, but they haven't called back yet. I'm expecting the visit to also cost two hundred and fifty dollars.

I don't know how much palliative care will be, and none of the charities I've found will do end of life care, euthanasia, or cremation. Everest might have a shot at a charity grant, but the largest I found (assuming he gets it) only covers two thousand dollars, and our regular vet said radiation treatment, which is most likely what the oncologist will recommend, will be eight thousand dollars (the rest of the charities only offer a few hundred dollars, and I'm not sure if you can apply to more than one).

Our vet told me to brace for Nerys's death, but Everest still has a fighting chance if I can afford whatever the oncologist recommends. I'll make a proper GoFundMe once I know what their respective prognoses are and how much it will cost to keep Nerys comfortable and how much with more certainty it will cost to get Everest treatment. Right now I just need to get them to the oncologist appointment.

I'm on maximum disabilty SSI, and that's only eight hundred and forty-one dollars a month. (Come January it will go up to nine hundred and something, but that's still not enough). I wiped out my ABLE savings just to get Nerys her cancer diagnosis (it was previously suspected to be feline inflammatory bowel disease, in checking for that they found the cancer), and I'm in desperate need of help for both of them. My friends raised a few hundred dollars which I think is just barely enough to get them to the oncologist, after weeks of constant vet appointments, having to pick up boxes of cerenia for Nerys (we decided against the human drug zofran) and now gabapentin for Everest.

The money is being collected by my friend and roommate, who has been a big help during all this but he isn't rich. His PayPal is Jason_Kallgren@hotmail.com, and his Venmo is etybolik.

Anticipating some concerns here:

Did you vaccinate your cats against feline leukemia? Yes, they are both vaccinated against feline leukemia and FIV, and up to date on annual vaccinations and well. Plus they're both indoor cats and even when I take Everest out on a harness I keep him away from other cats, so I don't know how it would have been transmitted to them anyway.

Why do you have two cats if you can't afford them? I've had Nerys since I was twelve and Everest since I was eighteen, at both times I was obviously being supported by my parents. After I moved out I was being helped by the above friend and roommate, and once I was granted SSI I was still able to afford to care for them, even getting them Science Diet to eat, and I had a tidy little ABLE savings for vet emergencies. But this is too big for most everyone to handle unless you're rich, and the savings has been wiped out.

How much money do you have already? After today's visit, I'm not sure. I'd guess somewhere in the three hundred range, but friend and roommate is not here at the moment to ask. I myself have three hundred something in my bank account now that must last me until the end of the month, most of which is dedicated to taking lyfts to the vet when my friend is at work and picking up cat medication, or to my own doctors' offices and sometimes the hospital, as I myself am very sick.

Why is the money going to your friend? The SSA is very strict about how much money SSI recipients have in their bank account. A penny over the two thousand dollar asset limit means they could cancel my benefits all together, and that could mean my life-saving Medicaid disappears with it. Friend/roommate has pretty much been coparent to my cats for seven years now and is in fact listed as co-parent on vet records, so I think it's alright.

Didn't you notice any warning signs before it got this far? Nerys has always had a sensitive tummy, on top of that she has always had pica and would eat any non-food she could get her mouth around (plastic, dirt, fuzz, things like that) and would immediately throw it up, which would happen about once a day. The vet was never concerned about this because some cats are just puke monsters, and we'd all rather she throw up whatever inedible thing she just ate instead of choking on it. I first noticed her throwing up more almost immediately after I had briefly switched to a cheaper food, and Everest was throwing it up too, so I just assumed they didn't like the change so I switched back to Science Diet. Everest stopped throwing up but Nerys was throwing up more than her usual self so that's when I got her in with the vet over summer and that's when they started testing for IBD. Also they had their regular annual vet visit in February and everything seemed normal. Nerys had dropped a few ounces but the vet didn't think to be concerned. On the Everest front, we first noticed scabbing on the left side of his face about four weeks ago, and as they spread (around that time we got Nerys's cancer diagnosis), we took him to the vet two weeks ago (with Nerys). It wasn't until that vet visit that we noticed the right side of his face was swollen, it was so fast we didn't even notice it the day before. The vet was hoping it was a tooth infection and gave him an antibiotic that would last two weeks that would have reduced the swelling by now but it hasn't, in fact that swelling has increased significantly, leaving the remaining answer a tumor. (We don't know what was causing the scabbing. He may have been clawing on his face in discomfort, but we were confused why it was on the opposite side. The scabbing has somewhat cleared up since I put them on a just-in-case prescription flea med about a week and a half ago, so it may have been fleas or an allergic reaction to fleas.)

How do you know Everest's tumor is cancerous? We don't at this point, that's why he needs an oncology consult and we'll go from there. That said, given how fast it's growing, my regular vet is almost certain it's cancerous.

Why are you going an oncologist an hour away? Our vet gave us a list of vet oncologists in Maryland, and I literally exhausted every one of them, starting with the ones closest to Baltimore. Either their oncologists left the facility, were on vacation, couldn't see Nerys until November (at which point regular vet said there wasn't much point in going to a specialist), or flat out never called us back. Luckily one of the offices I called had their own list of other oncologists, and literally the last one on the list was the only one who could see Nerys soon, within two weeks from calling. If that hadn't worked I would have had to call out of state.

Eighteen and eleven are pretty old for cats. Are you sure the cost of care is worth it? I think the oldest living cat in record is thirty-seven, and I was hoping to get the two of them to at least thirty. I've had them both since they were kittens (Nerys was adopted from a shelter at about six months, and Everest was a tragic saga of a feral cat giving birth in my grandmother's garage and then abandoning the litter at four weeks old. Everest was the only one to survive after I took them in, and that was with the support of my parents and quality care from my then-vet in Indiana). Despite some minor health issues (Nerys has had a small heart murmur for about seven years now and developed asthma around the same time, but the murmur never bothered her and she hasn't had an asthma attack since we moved out of our moldy apartment nearly three years ago. Everest has had a neurological illness called feline hyperesthesia since he was a kitten, and they found he had a small heart murmur at his visit two weeks ago, something he didn't have at his February checkup), they (even Nerys) are still very active, playful, and happy, so I'm not giving up on them yet.

Everest looks pretty fat, are you sure this isn't weight related? Everest isn't so much fat as much as just. Big. He was by far the biggest of his litter, which is most likely why he survived whatever illness/failure to thrive it was that killed his siblings. His father (another member of the semi-feral clowder in my grandmother's backyard) was also very large, tho I think Everest now is bigger than Diamond was when he was killed by a car at age three (this is why you should keep cats indoors). It's actually really funny he's so big, because his mother couldn't have been more than seven pounds. At any rate, none of our vets over the years have ever been concerned about his weight, he's actually rather healthily proportional to his height and length. Also he's dropped like a pound and a half since February, which his vet is very concerned about

Do you have any proof of your claims? I have some vet receipts, especially from today, tho think my roommate threw most of them away in a cleaning spell. I'll probably get paperwork detailing what's to be done on Monday, at least for receipts. I could show you photos of Nerys's weight loss and Everest's face swelling, but I'd much rather pay the cat tax with these photos in their prime:

[Image Description: first image: a small tabby cat on her back and upside down on a bed with black and white striped sheets. Second image: a large black cat with his eyes nearly closed as he gets both ears scritched at the same time. He is sticking his tongue out slightly in what is called a "blep". End I.D.]

[astroyongie]

Hi Yongie! How are you doing? I didn’t realise you were so close to finishing your psychology degree (I may get the timeline wrong because we are in different countries), especially working with palliative care- I find most people are intimidated taking on the elderly as a fresh grad just because it feels strange to be in an authorative role to people more experienced and older. I don’t think I worded that nicely but i swear it’s admiration! But omg I’m doing psychology too! Except, I’m not sure if it’s for me- it’s competitive (like a lot of degrees I suppose) and I don’t think I suit the profession.

Also, I saw the Burning Sun scandal documentary, and was thinking of how you’d react to this… I feel like it’s still very much relevant. I used to be in deep with KPop but as I grow I’ve started to notice things and I’ve also had some pretty interesting (downright traumatic experiences) with men. I can’t help but notice parallels not just with men, but with the culture and passivity of these things. And it just aggravates me. Honestly I’m thinking this is gonna be my last year which is a shame because my first house Pisces Venus loves these aesthetics lol, I need more variety in my hobbies anyway :/ so any suggestions?

Ever since I got in psychology I wanted to work within the palliative care (or within the criminology area). I find palliative care to be more in sync with my personality and also with my energy all together. Death itself as always been something that intrigue me and we can learn so damn much with people in the palliative care (plus it has a very vast population). Also eldery can be a complicated public but the attachment you form with them is genuine.

Good luck for your studies and if you ever need anything that I can help with, let me know !!

I haven't seen the documentary yet and honestly I dont know if I will for now. Also I understand your point and I hope that in the future you will be able to find someoen that wont make you feel this way. As for your hobbies is there anything you are interested in?

[whatisthismandoinghere]

Tell me about "if you give a cowboy a cat"!!! And also the one about Jess not being able to swim 👀👀 (I still haven't started Laramie but then when I do I'll be in the know!!)

Thank you so so much for the ask pally!!

"If you give a cowboy a cat" is about Jess Harper (I am very much in my Laramie era yall 😂) finding a cat and then proceeding to beg Slim to keep it and then stubbornly going about proving that he can in fact take care of one little kitten, shenanigans ensue and he will absolutely not ask Andy (who is practically an animal expert) for help, this is very much in the beginning stages lol but I think it'll be a fun, fluffy piece

"Jess can't swim and I'm going to throw him into a freezing lake" is one that I'm super excited about, so the idea is Andy and Jess are out riding in the snow (for reasons tbd) and Andy being the animal lover he is sees a little kitten all alone out on the frozen lake and immediately goes after him, long story short Andy saves the kitten but the ice breaks under him and he falls into the freezing lake and can't get out, Jess goes after him no questions asked, here's the kicker: it is canon (yes you read that right canon) that Jess cannot swim but it is also a very Jess thing to disregard that and go save Andy anyway, so Jess gets Andy out without consequence (or so it seems) but with both of them out there the ice they're on starts cracking yet again... and that's all I'm sharing for now, I don't wanna spoil too much lol even though the title kinda gives that away 😂 there's more to it than just this bit tho this one's gonna be a big ol' chapter fic that I will actually plan out before publishing

[marmolita]

are we just cursed in December or??? details behind the cut, cw for cancer, death (don't worry me and my husband and kids are fine)

So last December we went to visit my family for the holidays as usual and it was kind of a total nightmare. Mr Lita was having panic attacks because we found that chipmunks had excavated a city under our porch and destabilized it and he was afraid of rodents getting into our house, my sister had COVID, and Southwest airlines totally fucked up so that we had to book a different flight home days later than we intended. It was altogether a miserable month.

This year, my mom's coming out here and everything was looking good! Mr Lita was doing fine, nothing's wrong with the house, etc.

Except, we just found out his dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This was literally a couple days ago so we don't have much info yet but his parents had a friend pass from pancreatic cancer recently and it was only six weeks from her diagnosis to passing. He's already trying to sort out his financial papers and make funeral plans and he hasn't even had a biopsy yet. I believe he intends to only seek palliative or hospice care, which tbh is very reasonable given the extremely short timeline for most people with pancreatic cancer.

The day after we found that out, my kid who has anxiety and emetophobia had her first major panic attack in months because having a cold with a wet cough freaked her out, and is still not quite back to her normal yet. We haven't told the kids about their grandpa's cancer yet.

My mom's coming out to spend the holidays with us next Friday and I'm like gosh!!! How am I gonna make this a fun holiday season for my kids when their grandpa is dying!!! How am I gonna make sure my anxious kid doesn't start having panic attacks about whether she herself might have cancer!!! I don't know if he's going to die in two weeks or a month or six months and I don't know how to plan fun things for my kids with the knowledge that we may have to cancel at any moment if things go south even faster than they already are.

My sister-in-law is on vacation in New Zealand for this entire month so gosh I hope he at least has a month of time so she can get back to see him. He has a biopsy on Tuesday and his first appointment with the oncologist the day after Christmas which seems interminably far away. I feel completely helpless to help my in-laws or my husband right now and I fucking suck at keeping a brave face because i will cry at a moment's notice.

We're going to have to tell the kids tomorrow I think because my brother-in-law is gonna come down and they'll want to get together and so they'll need to know. I know it's better for my kids if I can be calm and confident talking to them about it but I simply cannot have a conversation about this without bawling.

And I wanted to do all this fun stuff with my kids and my mom for Christmas! And I know that my father in law wants my kids to be happy and having fun and not worrying about him! But how am I supposed to do that!! My sister and her family are coming a couple days after Christmas too and idk whether everything will be fine or whether there will be additional drama there. 😩 What do I do if he takes a turn for the worse very rapidly and doesn't even make it through the month?

I kind of hate how this part of it was easier at least when my dad passed away. He was in ill health for a long time and we knew he probably wouldn't be around more than another year but we didn't have a specific terminal outcome for most of that time so it was easy to not think about it too much. Then when he couldn't do dialysis anymore it was basically a very specific timeline and we knew he would not be around more than two weeks from that point. It was awful and I hated it but at least we knew.

[inekepp]

WOULD LOVE ANYTHING YOU COULD TELL ME ABOUT THE PHARMACY WIP FRIEND :') <3

Hii!

Okay, so. Pharmacy AU basically comes down to Alex working as a pharm tech in a 24/7 pharmacy (another reason why his sleeping schedule is shot to all hell, bc, yknow, eves, nights, the lot), and Henry is coming in to pick up meds for Arthur, who still suffers from cancer in this fic and all that. Henry keeps on getting Alex as the one who helps him (either bc coincedence, or luck, or timing, or however you want to call it, though i think i put a reference or two in that he did hit other coworkers of alex too, as to make it a tad more realistic). Alex, being quite experienced at this point, immediately clocks as to what Arthur is suffering from (in broad lines, anyway. beyond 'cancer' he ain't getting much further) and in the beginning he holds out hope, but that diminishes as soon as he sees that it's been quite a bit since Arthur got meds for chemo, and what Henry is coming to pick up (which, basically, is painkillers).

eventually, which is what i've yet to write, henry is going to come in to pick up meds like morphine and midazolam bc of palliative care (which, as the midazolam suggests, means hallucinating/possible aggression and the likes bc delirium), and then has to come back because the midazolam isn't doing the trick.

i was also v much planning on henry coming in at some point where alex is on the phone w his boss who tried to contact a coworker but failed (dunno if said coworker is hunter but yknow might as well be haha. but like, failing could happen bc travel or whatnot i dont think it matters much). so here alex is, saying to his boss that hed pass on the message when coworker gets in, but just says 'he' instead of coworker, cue henry panicking bc he thinks it mightve been fam trying to contact him about arthur, and, well.. yeah.

im not being nice to henry here, im sorry.

anyway, alex is v much crushing, but like, cant do much about it aside from helping henry as fast as he can and make it as pleasant as such a visit could be, bc p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m, (which he prob v well throws out the window w panic attack bc, well, he cant henry suffer alone can he?).

and in the last chapter, which is gon be x time after alex saw henry at the hospital last, is basically going to be them running into one another somewhere (idk, coffeeshop? library? somewhere. havent figured that out yet) and get to talking and maybe possibly set up a date (also bc henryd be thanking him in person for all hes done, and henry being henry had send a massive mail to the boss at some point complimenting alex for all his help and care and bc he deserved to get the praise. alex v much would want to thank him for that bc boss (zahra prob) having been like dunno what youve done but good work, and just, getting praise, esp in healthcare, be rare as fuck, so yknow. its something big.

im also hella drawing on my own experiences as a pharm tech, and i do have a load of quiet eve shifts, so, lie, its not unheard of, and while i do not state in which country they are bc i cant be arsed to look up laws and practises and shit like insurance shit bc its irritating and complex enough where im from and im the person who deals w insurances in the first place, i guess its all universal enough (and i did google if midazolam and all that were still like used the same in other countries, bc availability in meds and whas used can differ from country to country).

does that answer it? if not, feel free to clarify!

[persephones-journey]

Update on my life

I talked to my grandfather’s doctor and he said it’s time to move him to palliative care or a hospice.

The doctor thinks my grandfather is aspirating his good when he eats and it could be causing him to have pneumonia again.

So at this point, it’s a matter of weeks or months before we lose him. I doubt we are going to get another miracle like we did earlier this year with him.

I’m torn on the news and numb.

I don’t want to lose him but also I know it’s not fair to him he keeps suffering.

At this point, I’m more relieved that we know for sure and can have a plan put in place.

I don’t know what I am going to do financially yet, I applied for a couple of at home part time jobs. I’ll see if I get an answer back.

I wish I could either win the lottery or sell my writing.

Cause honestly writing is the only thing I am good at

[tiny-wren]

Ask game... hm... how about... 1, 2, 23 and 19 for gabitha?

you mention..gabbiestha around me?

GLADLY!

1. SILLY!! I was immediately smitten with her design—I really like weird offputting girls with glasses (or goggles?) bonus points for her eyes being obscured. Her hair is cool too. The lab coat thing is also a vibe. (she reminds me of my oc Tad, so I'm super endeared by this)

2. I was aware of her existence for a bit before I started suddenly getting intense brain worms..it was early this year I started getting rlly fixated on her. you can partially blame my seasonal depression ..I drew her once because I liked her design and oops ouch my hand slipped!!!!

23. HMMM idk I hope she isn’t a “villain” anymore and is living her best life! i try to not get too violently attached to headcanons when it comes to characters who don't have flipdecks yet! (WHERE IS MY GABITHA FLIPDECK. MANIFESTING)

19. for the record I feel like I'm almost solely responsible for ships with her existing, so if it’s anything other than x Olivia and x Pally (I DID draw them interacting and honestly. considered. they're cute) I need to know what else exists out there

…

but I do think Gabitha x NuMarcus makes ZERO sense. not sorry. (quimm shipper voice) they can't date they split up they don't even work together anymore /jokes all jokes!

nah, there's no tension, no Drama, Gabitha doesn't even CARE....and also I want them to both be fruity.