#it’s not an exact replica but when I saw it I KNEW this was as close as I would get to perpetually wearable jewelry

[softjustice]

I’ve been searching for more than 10 years, and I’ve finally found a bracelet that looks like Apollo’s and the JOY of wearing it is honestly out of this world

[httpsserene]

𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

˖♡ - ̗̀ ⇢ saw this tt about how these two toddlers shared their dad's notoriously rough bed head and this post when i opened tumblr last night and had to write smth for it! sorry, for the baby content 💀 i'll get back to writing y'alls requests now xxx

the careful messiness of brunette curls has been charles’s signature hairstyle for ages. it suits him, and when paired with his dimples and green eyes—it’s no wonder why every italian and monegasque prays for his success on sundays. well, maybe bleeding rosso corsa and winning two championships driving the famed red car are the proper reasons.

if only they knew that the artful styling of his curls is nowhere to be found after he sleeps. when he wakes, his hair is in absolute disarray—the deep brown ringlets are clumped together as they stick straight upwards and yet they manage to point in every direction possible.

when you first moved in with charles, you convinced him to buy a satin pillowcase to combat the bed head. it didn’t help, and neither did the bonnets you tried to have him wear. no matter if the ties were knotted, buttoned, or even velcro-strapped tightly, the bonnet would end up by the foot of the bed and his hair was in it’s usual disordered state by the early morning hours.

so, your morning routine begins with taming charles’s severe case of bed head. he awakens slowly as your fingertips gently untangle the deep brown ringlets, moaning lowly and nudging his head into your hand like a large cat when your nails glide along his scalp. you carefully guide each curl back into their assigned positions, tutting disapprovingly at the one strand that never seems to stay in it’s place.

charles’s chest shakes with a chuckle at your slight irritation and he shifts to meet your eyes, tenderly directing your hands away from his now orderly hair to his lips, pressing kisses to your fingertips before pulling you forward to cuddle into his chest.

you didn’t expect to have to deal with more than one head of messy hair. unfortunately, it seems like your daughter inherited her father’s bed head.

your mornings now consist of charles climbing out of bed at the first crackle of noise through the baby monitor, rushing to scoop the 9-month-old from her nursery and have her join the two of you in bed. he crosses the doorway with your daughter cradled to his bare chest and leo yipping at his feet—she stares up at at him, a perfect reflection of the sea green pools of his eyes, the absence of a bonnet, and the chaotic sprawl of his brunette curls. you’ve never been bothered with the fact that she’s an exact replica of her father, as some tried to tease that your genes didn’t do more than deepen her complexion. however, you always joke back that it means that she’s been blessed to be as beautiful as charles is.

she coos and babbles up at her father and he dutifully responds in french as if he understands her baby gibberish. he sits in bed with her on his lap and she beams, her little arms and grabby hands reaching towards you. you smile back widely, stealing her from his lap and greeting your babygirl with a flurry of kisses pressed all over her cute little face. her giggles ring through the air as you pull backwards to watch her laugh and, there’s another trait she shares with her father; deep dimples decorate her chubby cheeks and you can’t help but press your thumb into them with adoration.

charles picks up his first baby, plopping the mini dachshund in bed, and leo bounds forward to press his own kisses to your daughter’s socked feet.

addressing charles’s wild bed head will have to wait as you settle her back in his lap. you rest your head on his shoulder, apologizing for interrupting the clearly important conversation the two were having. you start fixing the jumbled ringlets on her scalp with the softest touch of your digits and she nuzzles up into your hand the same way her father does. he continues from were he left off, asking your daughter if she thinks a one-stop strategy is too ambitious for the next race and she babbles back to him in reply.

charles nods in agreement, promising her that regardless of a one-stop or two-stop, he’ll bring back his third championship trophy for her.

© httpsserene - do not repost. photos in header from pinterest.

[m00neroni]

prompt: patronus. @wolfstarmicrofic word count: 739 september 8th ao3 post

“This is impossible” Sirius huffs and sits back in one of the few scattered chairs around the DADA classroom, clearly defeated. “What’s that shit about happy memories? Fucking idiotic, it’s not even working.”

“Have we finally found a spell that not even the great Sirius Black can perform? Should we call the Prophet? Inform the Ministry?” James jokes from his seat at Remus’ right, and he only receives a glare in return, when any other person would have been hexed into the next year just before they finished the sentence.

Remus considers it a bit hypocritical, seeing as James is also struggling with it, only having managed to conjure a faint silvery mist, the same as Peter. Remus, for his part, hasn’t even tried yet, scared of its possible corporal form.

Still, he knows the drill and can help his friend.

“You’re thinking too much and too loud, Sirius.” He says, kindly, because the other boy’s frustration is too evident and it seems like the best approach. “Which memory are you using?”

“When the Hat sent me to Gryffindor.” Sirius replies, almost in a whisper, genuinely pouting like a baby.

“See? That’s the problem.” Remus says. “That memory isn’t good enough.”

“Why not?” His friend frowns, clearly confused but he doesn’t look hurt or offended. “It’s the happiest memory I can think of.”

“But it’s tainted, Pads.” He presses, not unkindly, and leans forward to touch Sirius’ forearm. “You were stressed and worried and your family were horrible just about twenty minutes later it happened. You need something without negative connotations.”

“Excellent piece of advice, Mr Lupin!” Professor Musgrove’s voice hollers from behind them. “Our chosen memories must be as pure as possible, free of bad feelings. Even if we think happiness is overruling them, sometimes the hurt is too sharp to be defeated. Please, my boy and resident assistant teacher, will you demonstrate the spell to the class?”

“Sir, I don’t–”

“I insist!” The man ignores him. “Your theoretical knowledge should be enough, and you clearly are in control of your feelings.”

Yeah, I wish I was, you twat.

Remus grimaces towards his friends, trying not to notice how Sirius is staring right into his eyes, and stands up. He should have shut up, but Sirius needed his help and he just… Whatever now, too late. 

The werewolf closes his eyes and tries to find a good memory, quickly falling for the morning of the first Full Moon after his three mates knew what happened to him once a month, about the monster. After the moment they accepted him completely, and without asking anything in return. It might go against the idea of it not being tainted by bad sensations (the transformation is horrible on its own, obviously) but the happiness he felt when he woke up and saw Sirius sleeping in that uncomfortable chair right next to his bed. 

The others have joined here and there, but Sirius has always been the constant feature. It is he who Remus thinks about for this.

“Expecto Patronum.”

He would have known it had worked even without the collective gasp of his classmates, just by how the air moves around him and the tip of his fingers tickle. It is a wonderful sensation, so, even if he is scared shitless of facing the reality and whatever comes next, Remus opens his eyes slowly. 

The silvery figure is clearly and evidently canine and massive, but that is where the similarities with Moony end. The snout is different, the ears bigger and the paws less menacing. Even the doggy grin is an exact replica of Padfoot’s.

Remus’ hearts stop for a second there, but he can’t look anywhere else, too entranced and shocked by the implications. 

“Amazing! Look at that–!”

“Expecto Patronum.”

Sirius’ deep voice cuts the air and the teacher’s praising, conjuring a mist that quickly takes form almost as big as the one in front of Remus, a shape that he hasn’t seen in front of him ever in his life but has been described enough to him that Remus could recognise anywhere. The eyes, though, are the exact same ones he sees in the mirror every day, and he has almost a full minute to be shocked before the impressive spirit of Moony joins Padfoot in a tackle game.

“Well, who could have expected this?” James chuckles, and Remus finally looks at Sirius.

Who could have expected this, indeed. 

[chaysreality222]

‧₊˚ ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.✧˖ °

. ۫ ꣑ৎ . 𝐈 𝐒𝓗𝐈𝐅𝓣𝐄𝐃 𝓑𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝓞 𝓐𝐍 𝓤𝐍𝓚𝐍𝓞𝐖𝐍 𝓡𝐄𝐀𝓛𝐈𝐓𝓨 . ۫ ꣑ৎ .

i'm beyond happy to be making a post like this. as you can tell by the title, I'VE SHIFTED! but the catch is i shifted to some unknown reality. still extremely proud of myself and happy, but there's just an ounce of disappointment that it wasn't one of my scripted drs. i've been waiting to tell you guys about it, so let's get into it!

the night of june 24th, 2024, i had chose to take the night off from attempting to shift and just sleep because the previous night i had already attempted to shift through my lucid dream. i fell asleep on accident and woke up at least once, and then fell back asleep.

i fell into a dream where something personal had happened where it caused me to be really sad. to set the setting, it was extremely late at night and i had been coming home. i needed to shower especially to get my mind off things. i checked my phone that was on the bathroom counter before my shower and it switched from 1:30 something am to 3:33 am.

This is when i became lucid. tmi my armpits were extremely unkept. (i feel like this was my dream showing me an insecurity of mine bc i had just waxed and was afraid of the hair growing back weird omg. but after i had stopped feeling insecure and told myself that it's just a dream and it's not like that irl, it went back to normal).

after that moment was passed, i was so exhausted and as i was showering i decided to sit down for a second on the ground of the tub. i was so tired and sad that in my mind i was thinking about how i wanted to just shift so badly. didn't matter what reality it was, i just needed it at that moment.

i laid my head back on the wall of the tub, then my eyes started to drift closed. i started to experience shifting symptoms from inside the lucid dream. there was flashing lights i saw through my eyelids, i felt a sense of floating, numbness accompanied by tingles down my body, and the room felt like it was spinning.

i naturally had woken up. (i'd say i just opened my eyes but it felt like i had woken up like any other time i've ever woken up in my original reality). i noticed i shifted! i didn't even question it, because i didn't have to. just as we are right now, wherever you are reading this, that's how real and natural everything was. you know for a fact you aren't dreaming right now, this is reality. that's the closest way of how i could explain how i knew i shifted.

my surroundings hadn't changed though. it was still the same bathroom setting like i had been in like that dream which i found to be an exact replica of my original reality (or) bathroom. the lights were off but candles had been placed around the bathroom to create this peaceful ambience. it was really nice. i felt the hot water running down my skin as it hit the top of my head, as well as the steam. i could also feel the tiles of the wall and the tub beneath my bare feet.

i also didn't feel the immense sadness and heaviness i was experiencing in my dream anymore. you know when you woke up from being scared or sad in the dream, and you feel a sense of relief because it wasn't real? that's the feeling i had been feeling but also happiness and curiosity from me shifting.

as i was just standing in the water and taking it all in, that's when the ounce of disappointment hit me that i shifted to some place but my actual scripted drs. in which i understand you can shift to unscripted places, but you guys get what i'm saying. i guess it's my fault for not focusing on any of my drs and instead hoping for any reality possible. (please don't take the disappointment i had felt to any offense! i'm extremely happy i shifted, just wish it was to my waiting room dr, etc). but hey, i shifted and that is what matters!

then i decided to shift back! i had no reason of staying there any longer and a part of me didn't want to get out of the shower and open that bathroom door. since it was a random reality, i didn't want to mess around and find out.

i was ready to go back to my or! and even though i had been thinking about my or, i didn't just shift back like i always thought i would or was always afraid of happening when i had shifted to say my hogwarts dr. it was just like every other thought i've had about my drs here! just because you or i think about our drs during the day here, doesn't mean we will just be pulled out of this reality and shifted over there. i hope i'm making sense, but i'm sure you guys understand what i'm saying.

anyway, i set the intention to shift back to my or and said my safeword as i closed my eyes. it's hard to explain but i could feel my consciousness shifting back to my or? then i had woken up back in my or! i checked the time and it was around 4 am on june 25, 2024. i believe i had been in my dr for a total of at least 8-10 minutes. i couldn't believe i had just shifted realities, but i was also dead tired. so i went back to sleep! but i have to say throughout that day, i was exhausted and still processing my shifting experience. so exhausted, i didn't really have the motivation to do much of anything.

first of all, thanks to those of you keeping up with my shifting journey and never failing to continue motivating me. it means a lot to be apart of this community of caring and helpful people <3 next stop is my waiting room dr! also a quick question to the experienced shifters out there, does dealing with the exhaustion after shifting get easier? thanks! as always, happy shifting!

xoxo, c!

[moo-blogging]

No thoughts tonight, just dad Levi in my head.

You always wanted a spring baby. You thought it represents hope, new beginnings, and endless possibilities. But your baby came at mid autumn when the leaves were falling and the sky gray. It wasn't that you would love your baby any less just because of the season the baby was born in, but you had concerns about your baby surviving the winter.

Living in the outskirts of town closer to the military camp allowed Levi to sleep at home whenever he wasn't on night duty. However this had reduced the convenience of reaching for a doctor. Levi knew about your concerns and he assured you that there was less titan attacks in the winter and he would arrange with Erwin to have lesser night duties.

Before the winter came, you and Levi had been thrifting for warmer clothes, but it was hard to get infant sizes. You learnt to strap your baby onto your chest to keep warm together. Levi had the cadets carried more logs to the cabin. You sewn clothes together to make thicker blankets, socks and mittens.

When the cold harsh winter hit, you dressed your baby in 3-4 layers of clothings you sewn. You yourself was wearing 2-3 layers too. The jacket Levi took from the military was useful when you had to go out to fetch more logs, but it was too hot in the house. Seeing your baby's cheeks red with warmth and love, your worries reduced. Your baby was the exact replica of Levi. With his hair was dark as the night, his eyes gleaming silverish blue and his pointed little nose, you loved your baby so so much you felt like your heart could explode with love.

One evening without night duty, Levi came home to you. He gave you a quick kiss, played with baby for a moment, and hit the shower. Levi always showered before you during winter to make the bathroom warm. After a hot shower and feeling warm, you walked into the living room finding Levi alone and the crate empty.

"Levi? Where's baby?" You asked, a wet towel draped on your shoulders. Turning around, you saw a big bulge under Levi's oversized hoodie. Levi insisted on buying this oversized hoodie at the bazaar. You knew Levi did not wear oversized clothing but he refused to disclose what it was for. And now you knew.

You mirrored Levi's grin as you approached him. Levi was bouncing on his toes. He leaned in toward you, pulling at his collar. You saw your baby's sparkling huge eyes staring at you. A grin started to spread across his face when he saw yours. A sharp baby-ish giggled echoed through the room. Levi had strapped baby onto him and pulled the hoodie over them. Baby was safe and warm with Levi, grinning as he ate his little fist.

Levi started to hum and rub the baby's back, lifting his eyebrows and blinking his eyes to tease baby. Baby laughed again. You kissed the side of Levi's lips. You really loved watching Levi being a dad. He was never shy or embarrassed to learn about being a supporting partner during the pregnancy. You tried to stop him for strapping the baby onto him after his long day at work. You knew how it hurts your back, but Levi insisted because "you have been carrying baby for 9 months, i want to share this with you too".

With Levi sitting on the sofa and you on the carpeted floor, Levi was drying your hair with a towel by the fireplace. The cabin smelt like bonfire, tea and baby powder. Snow was falling quietly outside, and the night was dark.

But your cabin was warm and cozy. Your husband's fingers massaging your scalp as he dried your hair. Your baby babbling happily and Levi replying with "oh really?" "you like to eat your fingers, huh?" "you think so?".

Oh, you thought, what a wonderful life this is.

[kelppsstuff]

Something makes me wonder how would lute and Adam react if they saw exorcist reader use her thighs to crush a demon because someone managed to take away her spear from her

People who use their legs as weapons have me entranced and hopefully these two are the same

Wow… just wow

Masterlist

Warnings: violence, thoughts of nswf

Taglist: @fandomsbookclub @adamsfavoritesinner @leathesimp @mmichelleszn @sashaphantomhive @ladyninggs @sirenetheblogger @jawline-of-steel

You were a new recruit. Safe to say Adam and Lite heavily underestimated you, Honestly they didn’t even know you existed besides from when they first recruited you.

You tried hard to prove yourself. You wanted to climb the ranks. In life you were a nobody, a push over. You refused to allow your after life to be the same.

So every extermination you’d try your hardest to turn the two angels heads. This extermination was going to be no different.

—

You knocked on Adam’s office door, you had offered to do his paperwork — you can guess the reason — and had just finished.

“Yeah?!”

You cleared your voice and took a breath. “I finished the paperwork sir.” The door opened and for a moment Adam looked you up and down confused “who are you?”

What an asshole.

“Y/N. We spoke like 5 hours ago.”

Recognition crossed his face, “Oh! I remember you, ya you can just hand them over to me and see yourself out.”

Adam had ended up taking complete credit for how well written each document was, he didn’t even ask you how you managed to make an exact replica of his signature on every page.

—

“Best time for flying is Y/N. Y/N? Do we have a Y/N” Lute asked looking around the crowd. Ironically she seemed to know everyone else besides you.

You raised your hand and hid the annoyance on your face. “Here.” Lute gestured for you to walk up and take the medal.

It was honestly the first time you’ve ever had proof of your hard work. It was also the first time Lute remembered your face, not your name.

—

Everyone was lined up. Lute and Adam were giving their usual pep talk while the rest of you were eagerly listening.

“We are going to go down there and fuck them up!” Adam screamed out followed by lute “fuck them up yeah!”

“I don’t want anyone coming back without blood on their hands! Now ladies, strike!!!!”

Your wings spread as did the others around you. You took flight and the bloodbath began. Angels were killing sinners left and right.

A sinner jumped onto your back as you killed one. You hurried to sling them off before absolutely destroy his body with your glowing white spear.

You were pissed off now.

You heard Lute groan and looked over to her. You rushed over to her and pushed the weird looking sinner off.

You pushed the sinner one more time before kicking his knees out and getting behind them, slitting there throat.

Lute eyes widened, your hair was darker and looked wet, while your skin and wings were stained red.

You gave her a glance and walked away. It was like you didn’t even knew her ranked, it made her feel a rush.

—

As the fight dragged on everyone started to leave, but you had one more you decided to kill. One more you refused to let get away. If you killed this last one you’d effectively would have most kills. Adam and Lute would have to recognize you.

Adam and Lute did once last sweep together to make sure all angels had started to return through the portal. It was the they saw you on the ground.

You tackled a sinner and while rolling on the ground they had bit you while also grabbing her spear, thankfully you didn’t bleed. As the started to run your eyes darkened.

You didn’t let them get far, you hurried to use your wings, landing in front of the you wrapped your legs around there head and use your hips to twisted their neck. Snapping it.

You rolled up to your feet and made eye contact with the two angels watching you from above, your gaze filled with red. Blood red.

Adam smirked, his face showed exactly what he was thinking, ‘me next.’ While Lute unexpectedly winked to you, also having the same ‘me next’ look.

However that’s not what they were thinking at least that wasn’t there first thought. Their first thought was “wow… just wow.” Two idiots didn’t realize they said it out loud.

Your blood soaked wings spread out and you took flight. Going back to heaven to clean up.

—

“Most kills belongs to Y/N.” You had expected their confused gaze but instead Adam smirked while Lute pointed to you.

You finally had their attention, and you would never leave their gaze or minds again for your soul weather you knew it or not would belong to them, no matter what.”

Ahhh I hope I satisfy your vision!

[paymechildsupport]

Doppel!GOJO x Reader // "Looks Satoru Enough.." [JJK x TNMN crossover au] 🥛🔵

---

PROMPTS (combined):

"so what about gojo but hes a doppelganger like the milkman. and basically (afab) reader is his girlfriend and doppelganger gojo pretty much is obsessed with reader. so then one day reader finds out and doppelganger gojo is pretty much just scared but all reader cares about is if he loves her. and so he basically confirms that he loves her and is obsessed with her, and then from that point on just smut....

"doppelganger Satoru who tricks you into letting him inside. But once he's in he doesn't care about killing the neighbours he just wants to fuck you and give you all his cum milk. If you're feeling extra down bad maybe some breeding kink 😊(ofc he's the milkman in this)"

---------------

>> @maskedpacific @sadmonke hope I did your prompts justice, a lot of it was winged 😋🥛

JJK TNMN au: all the characters of JJK just in TNMN

-!! Monsterfucking ; oral sex ; overstim(?) ; he has a really long tongue

-!! No pronouns, -- genetalia is referred to as a "hole" -- so creative reading freedom

——— 

Doppel!Gojo who assumed the identity of your pretty boyfriend after devouring his decaying corpse behind a back alleyway,— his first and only thought of entering the complex, your complex 

Doppel!Gojo who for months beforehand could only admire you from afar, confined to the shadows. He could look, but he could not touch. He’d glare in envy as his parallel self continued about his normal life,— milkman everyday, delivering your neighbors with their daily supply of dairy. His company slogan: “The Strongest”, because milk made your bones nice and strong (you see what I did there? You see the pun? Yeah.. okay, I’ll stop 😔). 

He was your boyfriend,— yet he’d never look at you. You’d simply be off to the side, smiling, forced to observe as you the frustratingly cocky real Satoru Gojo borderlined flirted with your other neighbors. He didn’t even touch you anymore,— so busy socializing, working- stuck in that silly little head of his,— every night your neglected body would have to sleep in a cold bed. 

The real Gojo also happened to be the strongest DDD agent out there, — the best of the best— ; when he wasn’t the milkman he was out slaughtering those wretched doppelgängers trying to claw into everyday human life. Single-handedly, he’d manage to keep your specific complex completely Doppel free for the past decade. You often wondered if you’d all survive a day without his protection. He had such a keen eye, always knowing a fake when he saw one. Yet another thing keeping him busy: he’s the strongest, he’s suppose to protect everyone,— and you were just his lover,— no, side piece. 

Doppel!Gojo knew he could do better, knew he could treat you like you deserve. If— no, when — he stole the real Gojo’s life his one and only priority would be to shower you in the love and affection you so deserved. He was by far the most advanced of his kind, an almost exact replica,— having all the same defining features as the original: snowy hair, bright blue eyes,— though slightly eerier than the original pair,— and that same cocky, lopsided smirk.

You’d started to branch out, seeing as your ‘boyfriend’ clearly had more important issues— he just wasn’t ready for a relationship,— you being the biggest victim of his inflated ego. Too proud to let you go, but too self conscious to properly stand by your side 

So, you’d often talk to the other residents of the complex: Nanami— a spokesperson, and Shoko— the surgeon, have quickly become your newest buddies. 

Doppel!Gojo knew you like the back of his charred, clawed hand— the only differentiating key feature,- a staple of all doppelgängers. Covering them with the gloves of Gojo’s milkman uniform was easy enough. He had spent ages observing from afar, admiring,- adoring,- practically drooling everytime you’d double take in an alleyway when you swore you heard a noise behind you. He could watch you for eternity, looking inside of your apartment through an open window, cock erect and unbelievably hard in the confines of those mortal pants. 

Doppel!Gojo has been patient, and now that it’s finally his turn, the only thing on his mind is getting your perfect body spread on his bed, fully bare and naked for him to feast upon. 

With the “strongest” dead, it would take practically nothing for the doppelgängers to break in and overrun the place,— but all he did was slaughter whatever doppelgänger crossed his path on his way to your room. Practically breaking the door down, you had no time to react before your boyfriend slammed you against the wall, mouth open in a small “o” as he began feasting.

---

“S—Satoru.?” it’s been forever since your voice pitched like that, syllables squeaking from the overdose of pleasure between your thighs

“Mmm?” the snowy white of his head lifts up momentarily from your thighs, blue eyes blinking innocently. He hums, playing with the elastic of your panties, pulling and slapping them against your thigh, “s’mthing you need, baby?” 

“I.. *hic*” sparks fly through your system as his warm tongue presses against the growing wet spot of your underwear, throwing your head back, “AH– .. *hic*. n-..no-” 

He smiles, all teeth, and you can’t help but feel like prey the way he eyes you; hungry, – starving, even. 

“Hmm.. if you say so,” 

You gasp as he tears your panties off, the cold air slapping you. He licks his lips, an animalistic urge overtaking him as he dips down between your legs. 

You're stuck wide eyed, only able to watch as his snowy head bobs up and down, tongue suddenly grazing your entrance. 

“S-SATORU– .. G-GAhh.. ngha~.” You mewl, pleasure curling through your body as he curls his tongue, flicking it just in the opening, almost exactly where you need him, “c-CAReful, – Sato..- aa OOh~” he takes long, full strokes with his tongue, the muscle slipping right into your slick hole. He groans at the taste of you, sloppily twisting his tongue inside. You buck your hips, fucking his tongue into you, squealing at the way he slobbers. His lips grace your ass, practically making out with the lips of your soaked folds. You can’t even question how he’s still breathing, being suffocated between your thighs, – nor why his tongue is so inhumanly long, hitting deeper than what even any human cock should, – not when he fucks you with it so good. 

Sharp blades pierce the meat of your legs, causing you to shriek, the pain immediately drowning in the immense waves of pleasure racking through your body. ‘Satoru’ grips you, spreading your plush ass further while his tongue digs absurdly deep inside you. Your insides are coated in his saliva, the warm, strong muscle of his tongue finally hitting your pelvis, – and you come hard. 

He eagerly laps you up, drinking from you like you were the finest of wines. 

“God.. you taste.. Heavenly” 

You can only shake violently as his tongue retracts from your inside, done invading your organs. Thick, heavy sobs rack your entire body, thick coils of pure pleasure tighten, wanting more. 

A predatory smile donning his features, ‘Satoru’ licks his chops like a dog eyeing a particularly tasty treat. Hastily ripping off his tie and peeling away his clothing, ‘Satoru’ eases your body onto the living room couch, spreading you out perfectly for him before lowering himself on top of you. 

You grab his face, cupping his cheeks in your hands. He’s practically glowing, pale, milky skin soft underneath your fingers. His blue eyes bore deeply into yours, absolutely stealing what little breath you had left away. 

You should ask what the hell that was, who fuck, – or rather, – what the fuck was he, and what’d he do to your cold-shouldered boyfriend. 

But as you gaze into those sapphire windows, you can only whisper; 

“Do you still love me..?” voice soft and thick with the tears choking your throat. 

‘Satoru’ brings is blackened claw to your face, long, agile fingers wiping away your tears, 

“Of course I do… I love you more than everything, – more than you could possibly imagine.” (not like he was wrong)

You smile softly, body too weak to lift itself up to kiss him. 

He brings his lips to yours, and you kiss him back. 

Looks Satoru enough. --

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

milk. 🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛

[isaacarellanesismyhusband]

i like it best when it’s pink

pair: Fred Weasley x reader requested by anonymous

Hi, if you're accepting requests could you possibly do one about Fred Weasley x reader where reader is Nymphadora Tonks younger sister and she's also a metamorphmagus and this makes Fred really interested in her

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You sat in the corner of the Gryffindor common room, messing with your hair. It shifted from bright pink to teal, then to orange, as you giggled at the ridiculous colors. Being a Metamorphmagus had its perks, and sometimes it was just fun to play around with it. Your older sister, Tonks, had taught you a few tricks, but you were more about having fun with it than anything else.

Across the room, Fred Weasley was trying his best not to stare—but failing miserably. He’d always found you interesting, ever since the first time he saw you change your appearance with just a thought. But lately, it wasn’t just curiosity that pulled his attention toward you. There was something more, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Fred, you're doing it again," George teased, nudging his twin as they sat on the couch. Fred snapped out of his daze, blinking rapidly.

"Doing what?" he said, trying to play it cool.

"Staring at Y/N like she's a particularly interesting Quidditch play," George replied with a smirk.

Fred rolled his eyes but couldn't help but glance back at you. The way you laughed to yourself, completely carefree, made his heart do a weird little flip. He couldn't get enough of that sound.

As if feeling his gaze, you looked up and met his eyes. For a second, you froze, not expecting to catch him staring. But then, you smiled—a playful grin that sent warmth rushing through him.

“Like what you see, Weasley?” you called out, teasing.

Fred’s ears turned pink, but he quickly shot back, “Depends. Can you do something better with that hair of yours? I’ve seen better colors on a garden gnome!”

You pretended to gasp in offense, then narrowed your eyes. “Oh, really? How about this, then?”

In an instant, your hair morphed into a Weasley red, an exact match to Fred’s. You even gave yourself a few of his freckles for good measure. The common room burst into laughter, and Fred grinned, shaking his head.

“Alright, alright. I’ll give you that one,” he said, standing up and walking over to where you sat. “But I bet you can’t pull off my devilish good looks.”

You raised an eyebrow, standing up to face him. Without saying a word, you concentrated for a moment, and suddenly, you were an exact replica of Fred Weasley—red hair, freckles, and all. The room went wild, and Fred’s jaw dropped.

“That’s... that’s terrifying,” he said, staring at his doppelganger. “But I’ve gotta admit, you look good.”

“Always do,” you replied with a wink, before shifting back into your normal form. “But seriously, you’ve got a good look going on. It’s a shame you only have one face.”

Fred laughed, feeling more at ease now. “You’re not half bad yourself, you know. I mean, when you’re not trying to be me.”

You smiled at him, something soft in your expression now. “Thanks, Fred.”

There was a moment of silence, and then, in a rare show of boldness, Fred reached out and gently tugged a lock of your hair. “I like it best when it’s pink, though,” he said, almost shyly.

Your heart did a little flip of its own, and you felt your cheeks warm. Without a word, you let your hair shift back into the soft pink that you knew he liked.

“Better?” you asked, your voice quieter now.

“Yeah,” Fred said, his own grin softening. “Much better.”

The rest of the room faded away as the two of you stood there, smiling at each other, a warm and happy feeling settling between you.

[lordofthemaps]

APB, CALLING ALL OFMD GIRLIES!

See this robe? Do you live in/around New Jersey, specifically south Jersey, near Manahawkin/LBI? Do you want to help a fellow OFMD fan out?

Here’s the story: I bought my grandma an EXACT replica of this robe for Christmas this past year.

My grandma never saw OFMD, but she was declining in health to the point that some days she couldnt change out of her PJs; she hated feeling “unkempt”, so I wanted to gift her something that she’d feel pretty in, even on days she didn’t have the energy to put on real clothes.

When I found the replica of this robe, I knew it had to be hers. It is GORGEOUS, lovely velvet, heavy material, was supremely comfortable.

This robe delivered in spades in making my grandma feel good about herself, all the way until her final day. She sadly passed away a few weeks ago.

After mourning her, my aunt (her caretaker) asked if I wanted a sentimental keepsake from her home. I immediately remembered the robe and asked if I could have it, as it brought my grandma so much joy, and it would be nice to wear it and think of her.

Unfortunately, all of my grandmas clothes had already been donated… including this robe.

I don’t know where for sure the robe was donated to, BUT realistically, it’s at the Good Will in Manahawkin, NJ.

I live out of state, and sadly won’t be back any time soon…but if anyone who lives in the area happens to stumble across it and return it to me, I would be FOREVER grateful!

THANK YOU!

[celabi]

tbh, I feel like I’ve been drifting away from the original scummy scara I made when I first made the au, so I would like to let everyone know that he is a BIG freak. the type of guy you avoid because he’s just… so creepy and weird. like, restraining order, banned in fifty states type of weird.

he will steal a pen you’ve been nibbling on in class, and do all sorts of things to it that you don’t wanna know. like shoving it down his throat or something idk.

he goes through the trash and takes the gun you spat out, and chews it as if he were a man on death row. and at this point he might as well be.

he ‘makes’ you home made lunch. (which is just store brought food he put into a lunch box). awe, so thoughtful, right? NO, he passed out after cumming so much to replace the dressing on your salad.

spits in your drink, so it’s almost like you’re kissing in a way, because his saliva is in your mouth yada yada. he’s so delusional, gosh.

this man jerks off to anything. pictures of you in a bikini. pictures of your panties that he snuck a photo of from under your skirt. hell, he has even fapped it to a post he found on one of your family members facebook where you look like the most ordinary person ever. anything.

he acts like an angel around you, but the moment you turn your back, he has this dark, violent glint in his eyes at anyone who isn’t you.

he STANK. like discord moderator who manages thirty different servers. he plays video games 24/7 and eats only fast food + he lives in his mothers basement so minus points.

his mind is SO dirty too. like you could be complaining about this one girl who has been getting on your nerves recently, and all he can think about is bending you over the table and running his hands all over your body. he thinks of you when he shouldn’t, and in ways he shouldn’t, even before you knew his name.

yeah he’s so sweet, and kisses the ground you walk on. but he also would love nothing more then to knock you up and keep you as his cute little spouse who he can come home and make love to every day.

god and he’s a brat too, don’t get me started. like, throwing tantrums when you decide to sit with someone else at lunch. starting fights with people who so much as look in your general direction (ones that he loses cause he is so small and scrawny). screaming profanities at the professors who separate your seating plans in lectures, and so on.

if you’ve been keeping up with my posts, you’ll know that this man has a literal sex doll replica of you he sleeps with at night. it’s so detailed to the point where there is freckles in the exact same spot they are on your skin. (even some moles and beauty marks that you didn’t even know you had, and god knows how he does).

has a shrine of you in his closet. strands of your hair he has collected. lipgloss and chapstick he has stolen from your bag whilst you weren’t looking. accessories like rings and bracelets. nail polish, all the works. and in the middle of this shrine, in all its glory, is a pair of your underwear that he took while you were in the changing rooms. he prays to it. the holy grail.

he has been dating you in his head the moment he saw you, like, gets a little annoyed when you don’t remember your five month anniversary, but the thing is, you didn’t even know you’re dating at all.

I love him. don’t get me wrong, but he is not the man you want to get involved with, like AT ALL.

go for someone like scummy alhaitham, who has (some) self respect 👍

[gl00mura11]

Do you perhaps do crossovers (like for example obey me x twst or sumn similar to that)?

If so, could you perhaps do the demon brothers or Diavolo with a Malleus!Male! Reader? Doesn't exactly have to look like Malleus (mainly just the horns and magic abilities, personality too if you wanna add that).

Maybe some fluff headcanons of Diavolo or the demon brothers just simply being around Malleus!reader and spending time with him, and Malleus!reader being somewhat shocked that they aren't really afraid of him?

I'm hope you have a wonderful day!

(Edit: After so long Ive realized that I never really went through with the ask and went with my own story. Im so sorry dude, i will fix my mistake and remake it in a bit)

TW: VERY small mentions of the event Glorious Masquerade in Levi’s Part, Mentions of hurting Belphegor during lesson 16 + small spoilers, let me know if more!

Malleus!Reader and the Brothers

Lucifer🦚

When you first came to the Devildom, his first concern him was your abilities, and of course, your appearance. Nothing could’ve really prepared him to see a tall man with large horns, especially one with the amount of power to actually harm them. Slightly though, I mean you couldn’t be compared to THEE Lucifer (is what he continued to tell himself for a long time).

Throughout the year Lucifer mostly left you alone. He had small concerns, but it was most likely just paperwork and his brothers stressing him out so he stayed in his room. You were kinda used to that kind of treatment though so you didn’t mention it much.

He eventually warmed up to you, and you did try to keep out of trouble so nothing much happened. His trust also kind of broke a bit when he saw you using magic on his younger brother, Belphegor during the whole… trying to kill you thing. He understood it was for defense purposes though.

When he learns that people tend to avoid you and are usually scared of you, he felt a bit bad. He likes spending time with you now, and isn’t that scared of you. Maybe a bit intimidated with your height but it isn’t a huge problem since the horns make up around 4-5 inches. He adores your love and interest for gargoyles, and is extremely impressed when he finds out what your power level. Nothing could really compare to the brothers though, not even Belphegor.

Mammon💸

He thought you were badass honestly. Maybe a bit intimidated since you were pretty tall compared to him (and also the fact that you just looked terrifying). You did kinda remind him of Lucifer though…

During the year though, you end up dealing with him like usual. Mammon would take all sorts of things from you and try to steal it, but it slowly stopped after a while (years). One night though, he decides to take your beloved Drago. I swear he’s never seen you so upset over some toy! Are you like Levi, all into those weird games? Didn’t seem like the type.

After explaining that it was given by someone special, he stops most of his teasing. You’d hear a whine or two about how you would just give away expensive items to fix it, but a small smile after it’s fixed immediately shuts him up.

Levi🐍

He was bored out of his mind when he was suddenly out of his little fantasy and he just sees this super scary guys that’s like, the exact replica of Lucifer! The horns, the glare, the terrifying but badass look that just screams “normie”! He couldn’t believe it, you were also an exact replica of the Lord of Corruption!

He pretty much avoided you but admired you after that meeting. He could compare you to so many anime characters! You really got his attention, he’d stare at you in class all day! And during breakfast, lunch, and dinner... He does get closer with you by the end of the year, you were eager to learn what he knew about TSL. Though, he called you “normie” a lot during his rant. Well, at least you were able to mention gargoyles. And he was completely fine with it! Unlike Azul and Idia who completely made a whole deal out of it during your trip to Noble Bell College… Though, you did think of Idia while Levi was ranting about TSL. Maybe they both would be friends?

(might get into writing again but oh well. This is probably just a spurt of energy after months of being done with everything.)

[confusedemiposts]

Hi! How are you?? I hope you are okay! Are you still taking requests? If you are, I have a request: What if s/o is Oda Sakunosuke's little sister/brother and s/o REALLY looks like Odasaku(Oda Sakunosuke) Their hair colour, eye colour is the same as his And s/o joins to Agency. What would ADA would do? If you aren't taking requests, you can ignore this! But if you are taking requests and if you do this, it would make my day! Thank you!!

I'm on the floor I loved this! I hope you don't mind I did a small drabble for the whole agency as one at the start but only went into details with characters that knew Oda and added Ango. I didn't know what s/o was till half way so this could be seen as platonic or romantic. I hope you liked it and feel free to tell me if there's anything I'm missing

Familiar Faces 𓇢𓆸

Includes: Fukazawa (platonic), Ranpo, Ango, Dazai x Oda's younger sibling

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Notes: Dark Era and season four spoilers!!! Slight Beast! mention but no spoilers (Fukazawa), Probably oc, not proofread, bad grammar, gn reader, reader is unaware that Oda was in the mafia, reader is implied to be over 18

Format: Headcannons/ Drabbles

Summary: Being Oda's younger sibling

The Agency

You suprisingly grew up a very normal life thanks to your older brother. You knew he had a dangerous job and admired him greatly, after all who wouldn't? He took in orphans and visited them daily, bringing you along too. It became your whole life.

The day everything changed left an indescribable ache in your chest, like a piece of your world vanishing, leaving behind a void filled with quiet memories. You had just finished up school that year but your whole life was gone, everything you had was gone and you didn't even know why. It took you a few years till you decided to use your abilities for good and find out what happened.

You ended up joining a detective agency filled with ability users who are all very helpful and kind. It felt so welcoming that you genuinely enjoyed working here..but however, you couldn't help but notice three who looked at you with a certain, almost sad familiarity—as if they knew you. You hadn't met them before but they knew you- or at least some part of you that you didn't know how, they knew him. It's unnerving because how do they know?

Fukazawa Yukichi

He'd recognise you immediately

Well at least who you're related too

He only met Oda once as a teenager

I don't think he met him again so I doubt he knows what happened (tell me if I'm wrong)

Might've heard that he wasn't an active assassin anymore

Definitely on guard when he meet you

Like a relative of a former assassin willing applying to be a detective?

But you were different

He could see it in your eyes that were full of emotions,loss and compassion

Unlike those eyes he saw years ago

You have never killed

It was a bit unsettling though

He needed to know of your intentions

He glanced at you and then back at the application form. He knew he recognised that name, he knew that tinge of red hair and those empty brown eyes that mirrored the features of that boy—an exact replica. To him it made sense to have this interview in the cafe instead of his office.

But the eyes he was looking into were different this time; instead of being void of any emotion it glinted with loss and nervousness. This was an interview, of course you were nervous as the older man continued to keep silent, you felt like he was judging your very soul but in reality he was wondering something else.

Finally he puts the sheets down and clears his throat "What motivated you to apply for this job?". He was curious, you were undoubtedly related to the assassin so why are you applying to be a detective? What were your intentions?

Trying to calm your nerves, you took a deep breath. "I want to do good. I want to help people, like my brother."

He didn't react, but it was evident he was waiting for further explanation, especially regarding the mention of your brother. The silence hung in the air, prompting you to delve into the details.

Hearing your explanation of Oda surprised him

He didn't know any of this (I think)

To know that kid changed into a caring young man and raised his sibling and the orphans

Those eyes that were once lifeless, with no care for his life or anything, had changed

Said he must've been a good man

I think Fukazawa would've tooken Oda in like Ranpo back then :( maybe that's what happened in beast

He gave his his condolences when he found out he died

The waitress in the café came and asked if you two were ordering

Fukazawa ordered something small

You ordered a curry, spicy specifically you said

Fukazawa officially hired you when you passed your entrance exam

He knew you were a good person

I'd like to think later on he might tell you that he met Oda when he was a teen

Edogawa Ranpo

He met Oda twice

First as teens

And last in passing as adults

He tried to stop him :(

When he first met you he instantly knew you were related

He also knew that you were trying to find out how everything happened

I don't think he'd tell you at first for your sake

But as you get closer as friends maybe he would

Somewhat guiding you into figuring it out yourself

Ranpo doesn't act like it but I think he cares

You're having a bad day and about to snap?

You find a sweet you don't remember putting in your pocket

It's very small acts but it comforts you

Alone at your desk, with everyone gone home , and you asked if you could stay over a little to longer to finish something you'd been working on for months– finding out what happened that day.

Coming home from school, you headed to the curry place where you and your older brother always ate, where the orphans were cared for. Instead, you found chaos – police, bystanders, and a devastating revelation from an officer.

Devastated, you waited in grief for your brother, only to discover he was gone too. Everything you knew and loved vanished, leaving you desperate for answers.

You've been building up this personal case for months, you weren't that suprised to find out Oda was a mafiaso and former assassin but god still not knowing why everything happened still gnaws at you, Your world was taken, and the lack of understanding weighs heavily on your chest.

You groan and slump against the desk, the frustration of not knowing amplifying the ache in your chest. You felt like you were getting nowhere.

You felt a tug on your shirt and you lift your head up startled to see Ranpo leaning behind you. He doesn't bother asking why you're still here because he already knows but when you're about to ask him the same question he shushes you with his finger and pulls out a bag of sweets "I left these behind". That's a lie- unless he really wanted these specific sweets that he so happened to leave behind.

He pulls up a chair beside you, the wheels squeaking from only slight movement and plopping himself down.

Silently he offers the bag of sweets, you presume he wants you to open it and you do, going back to your papers after but he offers you the now open bag again, a silent invitation to take one.

You mutter a quiet thank you and take a sweet. It's silent as you both eat the sweets but it's a comfortable silence.

Osamu Dazai

Oh my god

I can't

You knew Dazai back when Oda was alive

When he came to the house or orphans

I'd say you got along

Oda definitely told Dazai to refrain from mentioning the mafia to you

And he kept to that no matter how many times you asked Dazai about how he knew your brother or what his job was

You were probably somewhat friends :(

Didn't see each other for four years until you joined the agency

At first you didn't recognise him

He's wearing less bandages

But he certainly recognised you

An exact image of your brother

I feel like there's two ways this could go

1. He completely ignores, distancing himself from you

2. He's completely all over, absolutely protective of you and making sure your okay at all times

I think it be both

You found that everyone was quite welcoming at the agency and you got along with everyone... although there was one who always avoided you no matter what.

And that was Osamu Dazai.

The moment you stepped into the office his heart dropped as if he seen a ghost, his facade halting only for a moment before he picked up his usual demeanor again. Quietly slipping away before you see him

He'd be stupid to think you wouldn't recognise him but he ignored you anyways. Oh you're coming back from a case? Where did Dazai go? He suddenly vanished (sarcasm). You try to approach him? He is sprinting the other way.

He cannot look at you at all without thinking about Oda, he will not let you close to him again because everything he never wants to lose is always lost and he doesn't want to lose you too.

He is trying to distant himself from you, he doesn't want you to get hurt, he wants you to be safe, he wants you to live the normal life that Oda tried to give you, he wants you- your gaze, your words, your touch-and it scares him, everything worth wanting is lost the moment he obtains it, that is the life of Osamu Dazai.

Though he ignores you directly, he watches over you through other means, making sure in any plans your safety is first, that your teamed up with someone dependable and your getting home safe after work.

But Dazai can't run away from ghost's forever, not when that ghost is at arms length. He always manages to slip away when you try to even speak to him but not this time- you got him cornered, he has no choice but to see his past once again.

I don't know how to write confrontation so just wheater you argued or broke down crying

He will realise he can't keep you away

Perhaps he'll let you close again

But not too close

He knows very well that you see his facade

Being with you he doesn't have to keep his bubbly mask on

You'd both sit silently together by Oda's grave

The silence is not deafening with you, it's calm, a silent mutual understanding between you

He would definitely have nightmares of losing you too

Too the point I don't think he'd leave your side

Constantly hovering around you, partnering up with you everytime so he knows your safe, knocking at your dorm in the dead of night because of a nightmare

It's silly he thinks but still it worries him deep down, after all he is human

Ango Sakaguchi

I know he's not part of the agency

But I think he helped you get into it

I think Ango would've taken care of you:(

Not directly but from afar

He'd feel too guilty

Finding out that you were looking for a job involving where you could get hurt he immediately directed you to the Agency

Partially because of Dazai

He knew he would watch over you no matter what

And you'd have each other :(

[rainylana]

“Can’t sleep?”

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: you and eddie can’t sleep.

warnings: mentions of postpartum, mentions of abuse and eddie’s dad, so much fluff it may kill you, mom reader! dad eddie!



When he couldn’t sleep, he watched his baby. Watched her breath, stir in her sleep and make little noises and huffs. He’d pull up an old rocking chair wayne had given him, sit there with a pillow behind his back, often falling asleep. Tonight was one of those nights.

Her nursery was rainbow themed, pinks and purples everywhere with big, white clouds. Her crib had stars painted on them and glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling. In the day time, the room was bright and colorful, but it was dark now, only the glow of the neon stickers above his head and a revolving fish nightlight on the nightstand across the room.

His eyes dropped closed, but he didn’t want to fall asleep, didn’t want to miss a moment of watching his darling angel sleep. Little Joanna Munson.

Being a father had completely changed his life for the better, but it was also the scariest thing he’d ever had do to. He worried about so many more things, things he’d never had to worry about before. But the most overwhelmed thing so far was the love that he had in his heart. He didn’t think he’d love anything more in the world than you when the both of you met, but his heart grew another size when you gave birth to her, and he was absolutely, unconditionally in love with his baby, so much that it almost hurt.

It made him love you so much more, so grateful for giving him something so precious, something that was a part of him to live on. He was indebted to you, forever grateful. He worshipped you like a god, admired all the things your body could do. You struggled with postpartum a lot, something he tried his best to understand, helped as best as he could. He tried his best to take care of Joanna as much as he could, not that he minded it. She was only two months old, but he knew she was incredibly smart. She was already wrapping her tiny hand around his finger, pulling at his hair and staring at him with her big, brown eyes that she had gotten from him.

“Can’t sleep?”

He looked over his shoulder, smiling softly when he saw you. He shook his head, beckoning for you to come over. You did so, sitting on his lap and cuddling up to his chest, smiling at your baby in the crib. He leaned his head against yours, wrapping his arms around your body as he slowly rocked the chair. “What you doing up?” He asked quietly.

“Woke up and you were gone.” You yawned. “Knew you were in here. Has she stirred any?”

He shook his head. “Nah, she’s fast asleep.”

You closed your eyes, his soft breathing a lullaby for you, his body warm and comforting. Eddie still wouldn’t close his eyes, trained on the pink onesie and head of hair that he could see in the dark. Sometimes he cried when he watched her, he wouldn’t dare tell you that, but he did.

“I’m so in love with you.” Eddie squeezed you. “I can’t ever thank you enough for giving me this life. I don’t deserve it.”

“Yes, you do.” You said sleepily. “How many times do I have to say it? You deserve this, us.”

He kissed your forehead, his cheek against your ear. “I never thought I could love anything as much as I do her. It’s terrifying, loving someone so much.”

“I know.” You opened your eyes, finding your daughter in the dark. “It’s so overwhelming, isn’t it? Sometimes I think my heart is going to explode.”

He nodded in agreement, parting his lips in deep thought. That’s it exactly what it felt like. His heart was going to explode. “She’s so perfect, isn’t she? And so small.”

You chuckled, your feet curled up on his thigh. “Thank you. I take most of the credit for that.”

“Honey, you get all the credit.” He smirked. “She’s your exact replica. You can definitely tell she’s your baby.”

“She’s your baby, too, sweetheart.” You looked to him, cupping his cheek. “She may have my hair and my nose, but she’s got your eyes, and that is a telltale sign that she’s your baby.”

His heart warmed at your words, his cheeks blushing in the dark. “Yeah, she does, doesn’t she?”

You smiled tiredly, grabbing his jaw with your fingers to pull his lips down to yours, giving him a sweet, delicate kiss. “You’re a wonderful father, Eddie.”

He rested his forehead against yours. “I’m terrified I’m gonna end up like my old man.”

“Eddie,” You sighed. “I promise you that’s not going to happen.”

It was his worst fear, a nightmare that he feared would eventually come true. He’d drive you away, raise a child that he’d beat and abuse, who would later grow up to hate him. He didn’t want his family to repeat the one he’d had before.

“Hey,” You noticed the swell of his eyes in the dark. “Eddie, look at me, baby.” You held his cheek. “You are not your father. You’re not going to be your father. You’ve got me and her to keep you steady, just like you keep me steady, right? We’re a team. You don’t let me fall, I don’t let you fall.”

He let a tear fall, nodding and whispering a choked yeah. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, kissing his cheek as you held him tightly through the night.

[fitzrove]

I went to see the Kaunas State Musical Theatre production of Elisabeth !!!!!! This was a super inventive and atmospheric non-replica version that I really enjoyed, so I’m writing down some rambly review thoughts down below.

(^ not the rudolf i saw - saw him as slutty lucheni kssk)

TL;DR - excellent production, very pretty, weird in thought-provoking ways. They never go the easy route on anything, it’s a dark fairytale!!! (Btw usually when people say that they mean it’s hot elisatod romance but I don’t mean that XD)

Table of Contents

1. Stage design / sets

2. Costumes

3. Orchestra and singing

4. Ensemble choreographies

5. Characters, relationships

STAGE DESIGN / SETS

RATING: 9/10

First of all - oh my god am I refreshed by a new production not looking like Schönbrunn/Vienna 2012 or like a bad copy of the Vienna original. In Kaunas, the whole colour palette is gothic, muted and dark, with lots of golds, browns and faded blues accented with red, white and gold light. We shift from scenes that look like a faded 19th century painting to dark ones with high contrast (the latter especially in the scenes with Death).

Instead of a file splitting the stage, there’s a kind of “ring” lit up at the edges (which changes colours) that lifts up to create an upper level, and descends to make a pool/mirror. There’s frameless mirrors on the walls, and the floor of the stage - to my knowledge, installed specifically for Elisabeth - can look wet or reflective depending on the scene. Characters sometimes see themselves in the mirror as they look at the floor. I’m not sure I’m explaining this properly but it looks really cool, I don’t really see many new productions go back to the ‘artifice’ and unreality themes reflected in the original set so it was cool to see!!! And of course, prop mirrors carried by the characters also sometimes appear.

There’s a screen at the back of the stage (above where the ring goes) that can be used for projections, and it’s used sparingly but to great effect. Often it’s just a black generally “wet” or fabric-y texture; during both Schattens there’s a misty grey graveyard that looks really cool; Hass is red; during Kitsch Lucheni has no props but we see funnily quick zooms into dinner plates with pictures of the Imperial family on them. It integrates very well into the more solid parts of the set!

Other solid setpieces include Death’s boat (a simple, non-ornate design out of a metallic-ish material with mysterious writing on it) that descends from the ceiling to take people away (no carriage here). It’s complemented by three similarly shaped vertical golden pieces, also with writing on them, which appear in scenes with court power dynamics present.

There’s also a big dark oval thing that appears a few times as a sort of threat from Death/to emphasise his presence. I like the boat more than the pieces, maybe because I don’t fully understand what the pieces mean heheh. I guess it adds to the “unknowable” vibes which I do enjoy, the set is generally very non-literal and symbolic which is cool. The movable parts of the set are extremely versatile: the same four dark pillar blocks can be used for almost any scene (coffee house, Boote in der Nacht, IGNM…) and fit it well, and Elisabeth’s coffin (seen in Prolog) becomes her bed (or some side table she was lying on as a prank XD) and then a garden table.

Another very visible part of the production are the portrait faces !! Members of the ensemble hold up historically accurate pictures of Elisabeth’s relatives (including Rudolf heheh…) with light-up edges during Prolog and Sinking World, which then change into a billion portraits of Elisabeth (which Lucheni can’t stand to see) at the point of each number when they sing her name. I like it so much, it was one of the things I knew about this production that made me interested enough to want to go watch it!

COSTUMES

RATING: 8/10

Disclaimer - I am a historical accuracy hater when it comes to Elisabeth costumes. Firstly, exact reproductions are creatively boring; secondly, it’s not the point of the show; thirdly, in many cases it’s simply not possible for theatres to put excessive resources into a costume seen in one or two scenes in a single show. State-owned repertory theatres in smaller countries reuse like crazy!! So that’s a disclaimer to start with hahaha. I want costumes to look good and make sense, not compare them to irl pictures ksksks.

I really liked Kaunas Elisabeth’s portrait dress, which also served as her Hungarian coronation dress :D It’s like a golden sparkle explosion sksks, which stands out very strongly from the rest of the stage and the simple brown and black dresses of other ladies present - it gets the point across. In general, Elisabeth is the only really colourful member of the cast with her white nightgown, dressing gown and (historically accurate xD) black and white ribbon outfit, which emphasise her uniqueness and isolation; she also wears a completely black outfit towards the end. Rudolf (both adult and child) and Franz Joseph have identical faded blue (coat) + light cream/white costumes (pants), which are SO much better looking than the overly saturated bright cyan things we’ve been seeing in some recent productions skkss.

I was initially sceptical of Death’s outfit (he never changes it save for covering up his tits with a scarf/towel thing when he’s playing doctor sksk) because it looks a lot like the pleather Schönbrunn outfit I don’t like :-D But it’s actually constructed completely differently!! The way the leather jacket falls makes it have more work uniform/ferryman vibes, and then for some slutty reason he has pants, a corset (?) and no shirt underneath XD I think it works, man chest is not my favourite aesthetic but it’s distinctive and fits the storytelling…

LOVED Lucheni’s outfit!! :D To me it’s meant to be basic and everyman-y and it definitely was here, BUT it’s lined with red everywhere inside (and the soles of his shoes are red too), and for reasons that will become apparent later, that made me insane. Also leather pants slay xD

Additionally, I really liked Sophie’s outfits and the Frau Wolf’s salon costumes, with golden hoop skirts that were open at the back. I especially liked the outfit of Frau Wolf herself omg, it’s a Prussian (I assume akaksk) uniform coat draped over the bodysuit+skirt combo that the girls wear. Looks so cool and I really like the idea and symbolism of that! also the frau wolfs I saw were really hot in their role skskksks, special mention here also to Elisabeth’s chief lady-in-waiting on the second day because dommy mo---

At first I was a bit annoyed at some of the ensemble costumes for lacking individual details (the ones in Vienna 92 have so much going on), but tbh the uniform look they went for with them (especially concerning colour palette) really emphasised Elisabeth’s isolation from the court and ordinary people, so I liked that. I guess I appreciate the outfits for how they come together to create the show, even if the individual ones aren’t crazy pretty to me or anything hahah. Although the ones for Elisabeth’s ladies-in-waiting had amazingly pretty bodice/corset parts!!

ORCHESTRA AND SINGING

10/10

I liked the orchestra, it was definitely more of a full “opera house” type sound which I find nicer than musicals with less-than-3-people “bands” lol. Sounded good!! A special note must also be made about the fact that the KSMT seems to cast more flexibly than bigger productions, which is great. I don’t like it when every performer has the same musical theatre/pop combo voice which is too common rn lol, it just seems boring to me. But we got a lot of fuller/lower female voices (than there usually are in musicals) and more operatic male voices in both leading roles and the ensemble, which made for a more interesting overall sound. It wasn’t too operatic either, just the right balance I think.

The soloists were seriously impressive!! Some crazy long notes in Schatten 1, an insane IGNM reprise opt-up from Elisabeth… I really enjoyed the performances despite not understanding any lyrics heheh.

ENSEMBLE / CHOREOGRAPHIES

7/10

I saw the show twice and didn’t like some of the ensemble choreographies first lmao. It’s a very operatic style of directing - the only “proper” dancing is Elisabeth and FJ waltzing, and a “Death’s shadows” dance group that accompanies him in a few numbers - with lots of simple, repeated arm and leg movements, either synchronized or in “waves”. For some songs it fits really well because of the melody - the coffee house scene and Hass come to mind, both were well done - but in others like Alle Fragen I was skeptical upon first viewing.

In Alle Fragen specifically there’s lots of extremely repetitive, non-synchronised crossing themselves, chest-beating (mea culpa), kneeling, etc. At first I found this a bit kitschy/weird, and didn’t really like it. However, I changed my mind when I visited a church the morning before show #2 and actually saw two guys do the exact same thing upon entering it!!!!!! It’s a reference to actual self-blessing rituals, at least among Lithuanian Catholics, which seems really inventive heheh - making a localized reference the main target audience would really notice/understand !!! So upon second viewing, I ended up liking it.

CHARACTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Probably the most important aspect heheh. In the two shows that I saw, Franz Joseph, Elisabeth, Sophie and several ensemble members were played by different performers each day, but Rudolf, Death and Lucheni were the same each time. Gonna ramble about each character one by one I guess kskssk.

The two Elisabeths I saw (Marija Arutiunova and Gabrielė Bielskytė) were very different!!! Gabrielė was a more “traditional” Elisabeth, a bit melancholy from the start and becoming further so as the story progresses. I enjoyed her performance a lot and her vocal performance was flawless. Marija, on the other hand, I was concerned about at first because she’s SO enthusiastic (almost annoyingly hahah) in “Wie du”, practically bouncing off the floor hahah. But that actually ended up working really well. A common worry people have about newer Elisabeth productions is that she comes across too innocent and Disney Princess-y; from the first number I was afraid that would happen, but to my surprise, that was not at all the case. She plays a really strong character arc and the Elisabeth of act 2 was practically unrecognisable to me from Elisabeth in act 1. She was so full of joy and life at the start and her environment just sucks all of that out of her!!! It’s such a cool way to play it and I ended up really liking that.

They do a really clever thing in “Prolog” and “Wie du”. Prolog has Elisabeth’s body on top of a stone coffin under a white sheet, as a setpiece. At the start of Wie du we find out that it was Elisabeth herself the whole time - she emerges from beneath the sheet and spooks her dad lmao. Something something symbolism and smooth scene transition XD

Much like Marija’s Elisabeth characterisation, I was also skeptical of the Elisatod in this production at first XD Especially with how Marija played it - again, enthusiasm. The blocking between them is occasionally very POTO music of the night skksks. BUT (as a known hater of romantic elisatod skks) the touchiness actually worked for me because of how Death was portrayed (more on that later) and also because of how their relationship played out.

Elisabeth, as a teenager, seems fascinated by death as some romanticised adventure (one among many other adventures to be had) - she’s not afraid of it, finds beauty in it, etc. A very realistically adolescent point of view, also present in Der Letzte Tanz (though it’s much less gentle this time)!! But by the time her first child dies (Schatten 1), it dawns on her how horrible and cruel and unfair death (Death?) can be - and this is perfectly portrayed by Death handing her a knife in this scene and acting as if it’s totally normal and he’s helping her somehow. She’s completely broken down and distraught while holding it and snaps out of it when FJ comes up to her and hugs her. Such a strong turning point!! And he offers her the knife several other times. Overall I really see this as a symbolic relationship (my favourite type), Death is not at all “some guy” but a personified concept that Elisabeth has a constantly changing relationship to.

Also - the prologue and the prelude to DSF (whenever the judge is speaking) have a young Elisabeth (literal child actress) coiling the “red string of fate” around her hands, mouthing along the judge’s lines. So neat!! In the prologue, Death descends in his boat because she slowly pulls him in (he’s holding the string in his hand). And right before Lucheni goes to stab the older Elisabeth, the child stops him by laughing in his face… mm crunchy symbolism >:) he’s haunted heheh

Death himself (Egidijus Bavikinas) is a weirdo XD I called him “silly rabbit” at intermission and the name stuck aksksksl. He’s good at his job (quite kind to people when they die) but doesn’t really get most human concepts even though he sings Rondo and says in the prolog that he loved Elisabeth ksks. He’s a bit outraged/genuinely surprised when Elisabeth marries FJ, and genuinely perplexed when Elisabeth doesn’t kill herself despite repeated friendly suggestions skksks. He doesn’t seem ever to do cruel things intentionally, he’s just there to put people on his boat (except Rudolf for some reason skks). I think my interpretation of him might be slightly impeded by not understanding the lyrics - he just seems aloof (in a neutral, non-mean way) even at moments when I know he’s singing stuff like “you love me more than you love your husband” hahah. But yeah, I think he’s fine, he sings well and is occasionally unintentionally funny which entertains me enough.

Lucheni is a SLUT xD Martynas Beinaris normally plays Rudolf but has apparently been mainly Lucheni for quite a bit now, and I had him as Lucheni both times. I guess the right word is “flamboyant”, very energetic and with lots of flair, it was always a great joy to watch him go. I liked the way he says “Death” in the prologue skls, seems a bit obsessed… And of course, I can’t not mention the ending of the show!!!!!!! Elisabeth and Death get into Death’s boat together, it starts to lift up, and slowly we see that Lucheni has hanged himself with the red thread of fate that binds the two, and his last act is to reach up towards the boat, eternally unable to join them…………. the symbolism… gay repression... or something… love it!! (Reminder that Lucheni has red all over the more hidden parts of his costume… red inner linings of the coat, red soles… the gay repression interpretation writes itself skskls. Obsessed)

Franz Joseph is there adlskks. He was very good both days, I liked a moment the second day (with Raimondas Baranauskas) between him and Elisabeth when they almost hold/touch hands after Rudolf dies :’) and he was very excited to hang out with Elisabeth kssk, he’s just giggling and running around in Bad Ischl which was pretty fun (though he puts on the imperial mask pretty quickly after).

The FJ and Sophie relationship was soo well drawn! There was a symbolic thing where he gets dressed in the lead-up to “Jedem gibt er das seine” - attendants do the rest, but she puts white gloves on him as she tells him to be cold and hard. In Bellaria, he angrily takes his gloves off and throws them on the floor; Death picks them up and wears them to lead her offstage, perhaps as a form of comfort? Really cool!

Rudolf (Jurgis Jarašius) is my meow meow… he takes one big swig of a wine bottle during the song right before Schatten 2 and then falls facedown on the floor and has to be picked up by Death (indirectly - Death makes his shadow angel people put their hands all over Rudolf to do group bondage on him two separate times skslls, yay xD). After Schatten he falls on his face again and FJ walks up to him singing to him (Rudolf I’m so angry with you) and looks vaguely disappointed WHILE RUDOLF IS STILL LYING ON THE FLOOR and Rudolf has to slowly get up while FJ disapproves kskslsl. He has big fluffy hair and he’s gay but doesn’t want to know what that is and is vaguely scared of it skksks, just has weird obsessive feelings about tits out leather coat man (he stares a lot and tries to run to him, leans in as if wanting to get closer, but Death keeps rebuffing him and tossing him away skks). The todolf is weird and indirect in this production, there’s a quick kiss that lands somewhere in the cheek-lip area ksksks and a repeat of the head-hug/caress that Death does to Elisabeth. It’s weird and freaky and kind of cool lmao. After Rudolf shoots himself, Death closes his eyes for him, which is a pretty sweet moment. Also on the second day he was rage-weeping during Spiegel which I really like.

The Mayerling staging in this production is great!! After Spiegel, Rudolf tries to run out of the room but is blocked by a mirror (held by one of Death’s shadows); he tries again, but one by one the mirrors surround him from all sides and he’s just stuck in this small narrow space with nowhere to go, just forced to face himself over and over. Very piercing and accurate allegory for mental illness!!! Enjoyed. Put him in the torment nexus heheheh

I guess that’s all of my most important thoughts… :D Will add if I think of something else!

[chrissdollie]

I have a request if you are interested? :)

A teen!dad jess. He has a best friend from New York (she can have a name or it can be Y/N, you can choose) (they are endgame, jess never had feelings for Rory but she has feelings for Jess, it won't go anywhere) Jess and his best friend have a kid, they co-parent (whether they are dating already or in the future is up to you) Jess gets sent to Stars Hallow, she ends up moving to stars Hallow to, to be close to Jess and so their kid can be with him too (she is emancipated, plus Jess knows she's coming because they keep in contact) if anyone reading this would like to turn this into an actual story, I'm totally down for reading it :) if you choose this request, I look forward to reading it. Thank you!!

hi noonie!! this is my first requests omg wowowow i think this is a great idea! im sorry if its kinda sloppy and not how u wanted! but i hope u enjoyy ! wc: 1.7k also i saw how you said that jess knew she was coming, but whats more fun than a suprise? ;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As your best friend grabbed his bag and walked towards you and your one-year-old son, you forced yourself to keep your composure. You didn't know how you were going to okay without him. You'll still see him when he comes back to visit for holidays and such, but it won't be the same. You didn't want Jess to leave and neither did he, but he had no choice. He walked over to you and S/N. Reaching out for his father, S/N cooed and Jess took him from you. Jess held him preciously like it would be the last time. "Be good for your mom kid." He kissed his head.

He put down S/N into his crib before walking over to you and grabbed both of your hands. "I'm going to call you twice a day. Morning and night, okay? If there's anything you need, I'm there for you." He explained clearly. You nodded your head as you chewed on your lip, unable to form words. You wrapped your arms around his neck in a tight hug. Jess Mariano was your best friend. Having S/N was an accident, but you and Jess both believed that everything happens for a reason, so you kept him. And neither of you regret it. Your relationship is a little odd, but you love him nonetheless. You pulled away and kissed his cheek. "You'll be okay." You whispered, wiping a tear from your cheek. "And so will you, Y/N. You're the strongest person I know." You smiled softly at his words and gave him a picture of the three of you. He grinned and held it tightly. "Don't miss your bus, buddy." You joked. He ruffled your hair and waved goodbye.

A year later, you still feel the same as you did before. You know, the same day the two of you created a child, the same day you gave birth, and the same day he left. And you were panicking. "Oh, S/N, I'm so excited!" You jumped around making S/N giggle. He bounced along with you. "But I'm nervous too. What if he found someone else?" Then you gasped. "What if he cut all of his hair off?" You exaggerated just to see S/N's goofy smile. "This isn't about me though. This is all for you!" You tickled him (ugh, he's so darn cute). You grabbed your luggage, held S/N on your hip, and left the apartment. Stars Hollow was a cute name, you had to admit. You were thrilled to live in a small town! When you arrived, you stepped off the bus and looked around. Just as you imagined, it looked great! But maybe you should’ve told Jess you decided to be spontaneous and move to Connecticut. On the other hand, Jess could be on the verge of dying from boredom, so a surprise is the perfect thing to cheer him up.

“Thoughts, S/N?” You asked, clenching your hand into a fist as a pretend mic to his mouth. Your adorable son stared at you with his gorgeous eyes. Damn he looks just like his mother. Kidding, he’s an exact replica of Jess. Anywho, you accepted his answer and began to explore.

45 minutes later, you realized that you didn’t plan this out well enough like you thought. Even after talking to Jess everyday on the phone for an entire year, you didn’t know where exactly he was located. Fortunately, you took notice that people often went into a cute little diner called “William’s Hardware Store”, so you followed the crowd into the diner a little bit confused because this didn’t look like a hardware store. You walked in and almost immediately, people started turning to look at you. But atleast S/N enjoyed the attention.

You cleared your throat awkwardly and walked over to the stools at the counter and sat next to a girl around your age. You placed S/N in your lap and took in your surroundings. The girl you were sat next to turned around and gave you a bright grin. “Hi! You’re the new girl, aren’t you?” Her voice was sweet like candy (in the best way possible). “That I am! I’m Y/N. And this dude here is S/N.” You grabbed his hand making him give a little wave. She giggled. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Y/N. And you too, S/N.” She tickled his belly quickly and perked up to you. “I’m Rory!”

You looked to where a boy was coming out of a hidden room and THERE HE WAS IRJAHDJWHS

Thank goodness he didn’t cut all of his hair off. You suddenly felt butterflies in your stomach, which you hated. Rory turned to face where you were looking and scoffed. But he was right out the door as quickly as he came. “Not the best of friends?” You asked, jokingly. “Jess? It's.. kind of weird right now. But yeah, no.” She informed you. You nodded. Weird? Like romantic weird?

“Hey, what can I get you?”

You turned away from Rory and looked in front of you. This looks EXACTLY like who Jess explained to be his uncle, Luke. You remember seeing a sign saying “Luke’s” bellow the hardware store sign. Backwards baseball cap, plaid shirt, scruffy facial hair, this must be him. “This is Luke, Y/N. Luke, Y/N just moved here from.. where?” Rory introduced and then turned to you. “New York.” You replied. “Oh, welcome. What part? My nephew Jess is from New York also.” Luke smiled. “Same as him.” You responded. Rory and Luke looked confused and you felt awkward again. Not the right choice of words.

That was until Luke’s face changed from “what is she talking about?” to “ohhh THAT Y/N!” You're glad you didn't have to explain.

“Y/N! It’s great to meet you! How are you? Is this S/N?” Luke looked below to see S/N’s cute lil chubby face. “Yup, this is him!” You held S/N up higher so Luke could see him better. “Wait you know Jess?” Rory asked. “Father of my kid. It wasn’t planned, but things happen, you know? Anyway, he’s my best friend. We’ve know each other since childhood, actually.” You explained. “Wow, this is amazing! So- so you live here now?” Before you could answer Luke, he rushed up and walked to a phone, dialing a number. “I'm gonna get him to come back right now, don't worry."

“Oh, uh. Well sure, I suppose.” You muttered. “Um, well I have to go home to my mom, but it was great meeting you! See you around!” Rory waved goodbye and left. You mentally smacked yourself on the forehead. You were never good at first impressions, EVER. Just a few seconds after Rory left, the door opened again to reveal a sweaty Jess with a panicked expression. “Where’s the fire? Why’s everyone so calm?” He ran over to Luke. “Here, lemme show you.” Luke placed his hand on Jess’ shoulder and guided him to your seat. You fixed your hair as quickly as possible.

Jess stood and stared. “Wh-What are you doing here?” He brightly smiled. He looked down at S/N, who stared into his eyes. He took him from you and rocked him slowly. “Hey, kid.” Jess kissed S/N’s head. “Hi, Jess.” You spoke shyly.

He then turned his attention back to you. “Hey,” He gazed. You stood up quickly and wrapped your arms around him. Luke took S/N from Jess so he could hug you back fully. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He whispered in your neck. “I missed you.” You told him, pulling away. Although Jess always had trouble expressing his feelings into words, it was a little tense when he didn’t respond back to you.

Luke awkwardly turned to you. “Sorry, Y/N, I gotta get back to work.” He apologized, giving S/N back to you. “It was nice meeting you.” You smiled. He winked and walked back to the kitchen.

"Sooo, how have you been?" You asked, trying to start a conversation while bouncing S/N in your lap. "I've been alright." He put his hands in his pockets and began to speak when a blond chick wrapped her arms around him. "Hey. Where were you? I thought we were gonna go to my place." She prodded. She then turned to face you. "Aw, cute baby."

Of course he had a girlfriend. He was always cool and popular in school, so why wouldn't he be here? You were terribly mistaken to think otherwise. But now you felt a weird pit in your stomach. This was a bad move. You shouldn't have come here. But no, your son needs his father. So, you decide to be brave for S/N.

"Can we do this later?" He mumbled to her. "So you expect me to be okay with this? Ugh, what's the matter with you?" She stormed out of the diner before Jess could respond (not that he wanted to). "Trouble in paradise?" You questioned wholeheartedly. Although you were disappointed, you weren't going let this get in the way of your friendship. He scoffed. "Shane is definitely not my paradise. Look," He got serious for a moment and sat down on a stool next to you. "I'm happy you're here. Really, I am! But you came at a bad time." He told you. "Love triangle?" You joked, thinking back to how Rory said things were weird between them two. "How'd you know?" Jess' eyebrows furrowed. Oh. "Lucky guess." You shrugged. Well, this can't get any better can it? "It was nice seeing you. I should go start unpacking though." You stood up and switched S/N to your other hip. "Listen, let me get things sorted out and I promise I will be with you." He grabbed your hand. "Sorted out? Jess, you shouldn't feel forced to be with me. It's okay, I promise." You tried to reason with him. Why did he make it seem like he had no other option but you? Clearly he has choices.

"No, no. I need to be with you. Remember a few weeks ago when I told you I was gonna go back home?" He asked. You nodded. "That's because I wanted to be with you and my son. But you stopped me and I listened. So, now you're here and I'm gonna be the best damn father I can, alright?" He let go of your hand and ran behind the curtain. All of a sudden, S/N began to cry.

a/n: i'm gonna do a part two dont worryy! im just tired rn but i will try and draft something later tonight and maybe post it tmr xx this was a little hard for me to write since jess would be more mature as a father (atleast i think so) and he wasnt alone like in the show yk? but i had fun nonetheless :)

[smilingformoney]

Icebreaker | Alexander Dane/Reader

II. A Dream Come True

Summary: You're supposed to be at GalaxyCon, so why does it look like you're on set? And why is Alexander Dane acting so nice?

Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:

You came to in an unfamiliar bed. You thought first that you might be in a hospital, but when you blearily sat up and looked around, it wasn’t like any hospital room you’d ever seen.

You swung your feet off the bed, only for the soles of your feet to be met with something moist and squelchy - and when you looked down to see what it was, you saw that the floor of the room appeared to be a mixture of water and sand, like the wet sand at the edge of a beach.

“Ah, you’re awake.”

Your head shot up and, sure enough, Alexander Dane was standing in the doorway, still in his costume.

“Where am I?” you asked immediately.

Alexander glanced around the room.

“I’m surprised you don’t recognise it. I thought you were a fan of the show?”

“The show? What do you —”

You glanced around the room. You spotted the window, and then you remembered a scene from Galaxy Quest involving Lazarus looking out the window from his quarters.

“Wait, why are we on set?”

“We’re… not exactly on set,” Alexander said vaguely.

Not on set, but in Lazarus’ room? What was he talking about?

Alexander sighed and sat next to you on the edge of the bed. How many fanfiction scenes had you written involving ‘you’ and Lazarus sitting here, exactly like this? The only difference being that your stories always involved some kind of sexual tension, but the only attraction here was completely one-sided from you - right?

“We are in an exact replica of the Protector,” Alexander said carefully, as if he had to be cautious about what he said to you. “The rooms, hallways, all of it - a perfect replica.”

You snorted. “What, some fan got more time and money than sense? The ship is meant to be huge, where on earth would someone keep it? And I’m still not sure how I got here.”

Alexander hesitated, trying to decide how to explain the situation to you without sounding completely insane.

“Well… it’s also a functioning replica.”

“So… it flies? Are we in the air right now?”

“Yes, it flies. But no, we’re not in the air. We’re… in the vacuum of space.”

You stared at him blankly.

Was he joking? He was completely straight faced, his brow furrowed with that adorable little crease between his eyebrows. And when had Alexander Dane ever told a joke?

“I’m surprised you’d be in on a practical joke, Alex. Did someone pay you? Is Ashton Kutcher about to show up?”

“It’s not a joke, [Y/n], I’m serious. We’re in space.”

You studied his face carefully, looking for any sign that he was joking, but there was none. You knew he was a good actor, but this was something else. This felt real, as if he really believed you were in space.

“Alex, we can’t be in space. People don’t just go to space - especially not without knowing. Do you really expect me to believe that I got here from the hotel corridor without realising?”

“You remember Jane approaching us, right? She teleported us to the ship.”

You scoffed.

“It’s true! We teleported, but you fainted. They said it happens sometimes when people teleport long range and they insisted you recover here, in the Mak’Tar terrain.” Alexander sighed. “God, I know it sounds insane. But you have to believe me, [Y/n].”

“Prove it, then.”

“Alright.”

Alexander stood and offered his hand to you. You let him help you up, and together you squelched across the wet sand to the window, which appeared to look out across the vast cosmos of space.

“You see?”

“Well, it’s beautiful, Alex, but that could easily be fake.”

You looked up and down, left and right, as far as you could. It certainly seemed to stretch in all directions, and your stomach did a nervous flip, as if it believed you were in space. And if you were to be in space, this was exactly what you’d expect to see. You saw the sides of the ship, and you could certainly believe you were in a replica of the Protector, because building such a thing is exactly the kind of insane thing fans would do, but asking you to believe that it was also a fully functioning spaceship was a step too far.

You looked up at Alexander, who glanced away suddenly, as if you’d caught him staring. But that was ridiculous, why would he be staring at you?

“Alex, come on. We’re obviously in some kind of simulator. It’s a really good one, granted, but —”

You were interrupted by the sound of an alarm blaring. You winced at the sudden sound, and a voice over a tannoy announced:

WARNING. UNAUTHORISED PRESENCE APPROACHING. PROTECTOR CREW TO BRIDGE.

“See?” you said. “Simulator.”

Alexander sighed. Clearly, he had to do something to convince you that what was happening was real, but that would have to wait for now.

“Come on, let’s go.”

He hurried you out of the room, and you had to hurry to keep up with his long strides as you made your way down the corridor.

“What would convince you you were really in space?” Alexander asked you.

You thought for a moment. What really couldn’t be faked?

“Something impossible.”

“Would a shape-shifting alien do?”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Excellent. We’ve got a lot of those.”

You entered the bridge to find the rest of the crew, also in their costumes, hurrying to their stations. Alexander pulled Jane Doe aside.

“Laliari, I need you to change form.”

“What? Why?” asked Fred, who was glued to her side as he always was. “Is this really the time? We got a bit of a crisis going on here.”

“I know, and [Y/n] needs to take it seriously, but she doesn’t believe me.”

“Okay!” Jane agreed with her ever present strange smile, and you let out a small scream of surprise when, before your very eyes, she transformed from an odd-looking human to… some kind of tentacle alien thing.

You reached out and prodded the tentacle alien thing. It felt real enough, and when you prodded it it made a sound that was almost like a giggle.

“You are tickling me!” Jane said from wherever her mouth was. “May I take human form again?”

“Yes, yes,” said Alexander hurriedly.

You watched, mouth agape, as Jane transformed back into a human. Even her clothes re-appeared.

“Do you believe me now?” Alexander asked.

You were still staring at Jane.

“…Uh-huh,” you mumbled.

“Alright, good. Come on, let’s go.”

Jane turned around to attend to her station, and Alexander grabbed you by the arm to drag you to his.

“Go where? I don’t have anywhere - I’m not part of the crew. I mean, Bethany’s not part of the crew. Or are you going to tell me I’m really Bethany and [Y/n] was the character all along?”

“What? No, that’s absurd. I’ll explain everything later. Just - stay with me.”

Alexander - Lazarus? - sat down at his station, but it only had one seat, so you stood behind him, one had on the back of his seat to steady yourself.

It certainly felt like you were in the middle of a real scene from the show… except the characters were a little off. It was as if they’d forgotten how to act. Taggart wasn’t as smart as Taggart; he seemed to be winging it as much as Jason Nesmith. And Laredo wasn’t piloting with his usual confidence; Tommy Webber’s insecurity seemed obvious. And the man you stood next to was definitely Alexander Dane, not Dr Lazarus.

What was happening?

Jason opened a link to talk to the other ship, but he was met with no response. Instead, the ship simply opened fire, and suddenly you were thrown across the room as Tommy tried to navigate and Guy returned fire.

Suddenly, it all felt very real. If Jane transforming hadn’t convinced you, this certainly did. You’d experienced a fake attack on the ship during filming, and not only did it feel very, very different, but it also felt much, much safer. You were being tossed about quite dangerously, and when Tommy suddenly turned the ship on its side to avoid a blast, while everyone else stayed strapped into their seats, you with your lack of seat found yourself sliding across the floor, stopped from smashing your head against something only by grabbing onto a railing and dangling in the air as the ship turned completely 90 degrees.

“Tommy, straighten up, I can’t aim like this!” Guy yelled.

“Dude, I’m trying! This thing’s clunky as hell!”

“I agree with Guy!” you wailed from your precarious position dangling from the rail. “I’d really like to not fall right now!”

Alexander turned in his seat when he heard your voice, and he swore loudly when he saw you.

He turned his chair to face you, and though he remained strapped firmly in place, he did his best to reach his arm out towards you.

“[Y/n], here!”

You stretched your arm out towards him as far as you could, but the best you could manage was a vague brushing of your fingertips.

“I can’t reach!”

”I got it!” Tommy called from the other side of the room.

You waited for the ship to right itself, but instead it turned further, threatening to turn upside down.

“I don’t got it!” Tommy corrected himself.

An idea came to you very suddenly.

“Turn the gravity off!” you shouted. “You’re all strapped down but I’ll float!”

“[Y/n] —” Alexander began to protest, but you cut across him.

“You wanna prove we’re in space? Turn off the gravity!”

Alexander looked reluctant, but he seemed to realise you were right. Right now, you were ready to fall because the gravity was moving in the wrong direction. It wasn’t right itself, so — it had to be eliminated.

“Gwen, turn the gravity off!”

“Computer, turn the gravity off!” Gwen told the computer.

“ urning gravity off,” the computer replied.

You had never felt anything like it. You hadn’t spent that much of your life contemplating what no gravity felt like, but it certainly wasn’t this. You had spent every second of your existence subject to gravity, and so the moment it was taken away, your brain had no idea what to do. It had suddenly lost all sense of up and down, left and right - reality itself seemed warped. The closest sensation you could possibly liken it to was the in-between state of your brain being pulled from a deep sleep, confused between the lines of dream and reality.

“[Y/n]!” Alexander called, pulling you out of your stupor.

You pushed against the railing as you let go of it, and although you gave yourself the smallest push, you barrelled into Alexander with some considerable force.

He caught you in his arms, and the feeling of his grip fighting against no other force was strange but comforting. In the absence of gravity, the one constant force that had always pinned you to reality, all you had to stop yourself from floating away was Alexander Dane’s arms.

“Gwen, turn the gravity back on!” Alexander shouted.

“Computer, turn the gravity back on!”

“Turning gravity on.”

You felt the entire weight of your body returning, and you landed inelegantly on Alexander’s lap, splayed across his knees as if he was about to give you ten smacks for talking back.

You were too preoccupied with the churning in your stomach, though, to worry about the precocious position you’d landed in. Alexander picked you up with surprising strength and sat you on his lap as he turned back towards the window.

“Just hold tight to me,” he said firmly, and you obeyed immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck to anchor yourself.

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” you complained.

“Just aim it at Jason, not me.”

Guy let out a whoop as he hit a sweet spot on the other ship, causing its engine to blow up.

“Yeah, take that, you bastards!” he hollered. “Did you guys see that hit? Talk about bullseye!”

“Yes, got it on your fiftieth try!” Alexander replied dryly.

“Tommy, get us out of here,” Jason said as he sat back in his seat with relief. “I need a drink.”

The turbulence finally over, you breathed a sigh of relief. You didn’t even realise you were still clutching onto Alexander until he went to remove the belt that strapped him into his seat, and you let him go, glad to finally stand up on your own two feet.

You immediately left the bridge, desperate to find somewhere to sit down and process everything. You were in space, actual space, on a fully functioning replica of the Protector, with the cast of Galaxy Quest who were definitely still actors but in their costumes and filling the same roles as their characters. The ship was inhabited by aliens who looked like tentacle monsters but could change shape to appear human, and Jane Doe was one of them. If you hadn’t seen him without his cap, you might have wondered if Alexander was really an alien too.

You instinctively returned to Lazarus’ room, as if returning to your start point could send you back home, but when you sat down on the bed, nothing happened. You buried your head in your hands, trying your best to block everything out to give your mind and body a chance to catch up.

A few moments later, Alexander entered the room. You looked up at him.

“Alex… what the fuck is going on?”

He explained everything to you: the alien race that had seen Galaxy Quest and thought it real, who had based so much of their society from what they thought was a documentary, even going so far as to create a replica of the Protector. Finding themselves in a predicament that would be perfectly placed in the show, they went looking for the crew on Earth, and the actors had found themselves very suddenly playing their TV roles.

“I’m sorry, I should have explained it to you as soon as you woke up,” Alexander said.

You shook your head. You ran your palm over your face, then leant backwards to lie flat against the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“I’d never have believed you. I needed to experience it for myself. God - this is insane. How many other TV shows are real? Is there a coven of witches in San Francisco? Is there really a portal to Hell in Southern California? Is Alan Partridge real and Steve Coogan the character?”

You heard Alexander chuckle. He leant back to lie side-by-side with you, also craving the simple sight of the ceiling.

“I know Steve Coogan’s real, I’ve met him enough times. And I’m pretty sure witches aren’t real. As for a portal to Hell in California - that I can’t be too sure of, because it certainly feels that way during the height of summer.”

You both laughed, and for a few moments you almost forgot about the bizarre situation you were in. You settled into a comfortable silence together, both laying side-by-side, trying to absorb the strange day you were having.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I, um - can I hold your hand? I just really need some real, physical, human contact right now. Remind myself I’m not losing my marbles, y’know?”

“Of course.”

You felt his fingers reaching out for yours, and you slipped your hand into his. You closed your eyes, focusing on feeling gravity again, and feeling grounded by Alexander’s touch.

“Alex, do you moisturise?”

“…What?”

“Your hands are always really soft. I noticed it before during filming.”

You heard him chuckle. “Yes, I do. Is there something wrong with that?”

“Course not. It’s nice. Feels… nice.”

“I’m glad my hands are to your satisfaction.”

You giggled, then turned your head to look at him, only to find he was already looking at you. There was something intense yet almost uncertain about the way his eyes were boring into you, making you feel completely exposed.

“I’m afraid I don’t moisturise my lips so much,” he added.

“Oh, er… that’s alright, I guess. They don’t look dry.”

“I just thought I’d warn you, in case you expect my lips to be as soft as my hands. So you won’t be surprised at how dry they are when I kiss you.”

You blushed.

“You’re - you’re going to kiss me?”

“Yes.”

“When?” you asked, wondering if you were to be invited back to the show and your characters were to kiss.

“In a few seconds’ time, if that’s alright with you.”

Your stomach suddenly felt as if it were weightless again.

“Y - yes, that would be fine with me,” you managed to stammer out.

Alexander smiled, and the cupid’s bow you’d always thought looked so kissable looked even more kissable in person.

Well, it turned out, his lips were soft enough as they were. He kissed you with surprising uncertainty, then when you parted your lips slightly, it seemed to encourage him because he began kissing you with more fervour, the hand that wasn’t in yours reaching over to cup your cheek.

You reached up to run your fingers through his hair, then stopped when you were met with the fake gills of his cap, and your lips separated as you both laughed.

“I forgot we had these stupid things on,” you giggled. “I don’t suppose we can take them off?”

“Not if Lena’s glue has anything to say about it. Why, don’t you like it? I thought you’d enjoy kissing Dr Lazarus.”

Alexander smirked, and you batted his chest playfully.

“Shush. I’d prefer to kiss Alex Dane, if that’s alright.”

“Until we get back to Earth and find Lena, there’s nothing we can do, so you’ll have to settle for Alex Dane in costume.”

“I think I can accept that.”

“Good, because there’s an adorable little freckle on your earlobe I’ve been dying to kiss.”

He lowered his head to peck a kiss against your ear, and you giggled as his breath tickled your inner ear.

“If we’re kissing cute freckles, can I kiss the one on your neck?”

Alexander raised his head to look at you with a frown. “How do you know about that one? It’s always hidden under collars.”

“You got your kit off in Storm’s Retreat, remember?”

“…I did, yes. Bloody hell, I forgot about that one. Go on, then, I won’t say no to a neck kiss.”

Eagerly, you pulled down the zip of his costume, letting the collar fall away to reveal the neckline of the vest he wore underneath and… the little freckle at the base of his neck. You lifted your head to kiss it, and when you heard Alexander hum with approval, you nibbled at it slightly too.

“Oh, you’re a biter, are you?” he said with amusement. “I should have known. Well, two can play at that game.”

Alexander grazed his teeth against your ear, and you found yourselves playfighting, both trying to nibble the other’s skin first. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head as he pushed you onto your back and climbed on top of you, grinning with victory.

“God, you look good like this. I wonder if there are any handcuffs on this ship…?”

“Don’t you dare!” you protested.

“Oh, I’ll dare. I want to see what you look like at my mercy.”

His eyes flashed dangerously, and you felt it between your legs.

“Alex…”

“Hm?” Alexander responded, his hands gently tracing your skin as he admired the view of you at his mercy underneath him.

“Not that this isn’t my every dream come true, but… you’ve been nothing but a jackass to me since we met. Why are you suddenly pinning me to the bed and kissing me? Again, really not complaining. Just… confused.”

The danger in Alexander’s eyes dimmed slightly, and he almost looked abashed.

“[Y/n]… I’ve fancied you since we met. But I have a strict rule about fans, so I tried to push you away. I suppose I was overcompensating.”

“What changed?”

“Being in real danger makes you realise things. Things like, I actually quite like that woman and I’d prefer it if she didn’t fall and die before I get a chance to kiss her.”

The hand that was exploring your body paused, and Alexander looked as if he were a young boy who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“[Y/n], before we… do whatever we might do next… I have to tell you something. That first night, when we went to karaoke. Do you really not remember anything about coming to my house?”

“No, just the bar, then waking up. Why, do you remember something?”

“No, but… I checked my security cameras after you left. We came back wasted and I stuck my hand down your trousers.”

“No!” you gasped, a hand flying to your mouth. “Surely I’d remember that!”

“Well, you were very drunk, because you passed out about thirty seconds later. I carried you to my bed then passed out on the sofa myself. Then… about an hour later, we both woke up, and started snogging. That was how your bra ended up on the sofa. We apparently decided not to do anything else, because you went back to bed and I went back to the sofa.”

“Oh, that’s how my bra got there! That’s been haunting me for months. So that’s why you started being a jackass, because you thought if you were nice I’d try to snog you again?”

“More like I was worried I’d try to snog you. That is why I didn’t tell you, though, because I didn’t want either of us to try it again. But now I would very much like to try it again, so… may I kiss you again?”

“Alex, you have a free pass to kiss me absolutely any time you like.”

“Don’t make promises you don’t mean,” Alexander said in a low voice, his eyes electric again, looking you up and down hungrily. “I’d like to kiss every inch of your body. But your lips - your lips are especially enticing.”

You knew you should be revelling in the fact that literally all your fangirl dreams were coming true, but you were far more interested in being with Alex at all - you realised you didn’t care that you were both in costume, in a perfect replica of Lazarus’ quarters. You didn’t even care that you were literally in space.

You just wanted the man behind the costume.

He, apparently, was thinking something similar.

“Get this bloody thing off,” Alexander growled, tugging at the zip to your costume. “If we have to keep the caps on, we can at least get rid of the uniform.”

“I think you just want an excuse to get me naked,” you teased as you pulled the zip down, and to Alexander’s disappointment, you had a vest on underneath.

“Do I need an excuse? Or would you do it if I asked nicely?”

“I’d do it if you asked unnicely.”

Alexander stood up to give you room to get out of your costume, and you watched with hungry eyes as he unzipped his costume too, laughing at your choice of words.

“Unnicely? I’m quite sure that’s not a word.”

“I’m an actor, not a writer! Anyway, Shakespeare made up words all the time, so maybe I’m onto something.”

“Yes, and one of those words was undress, so maybe you’d better hurry up and do as the Bard says.”

“I’m trying!” you protested, struggling to pull off your boots. Matters weren’t made any easier when Alexander kicked his own off with ease to allow himself to pull his jumpsuit off completely, leaving you with a direct close-up view of his boxers, and the prominent bulge beneath them.

Alexander scoffed at you, then yanked your boots off your feet, followed by your jumpsuit, leaving each of you in nothing but underwear and a vest.

God, he was magnificent. He had a slight belly, the remnants of one too many beers of an evening, and beneath his boxers you could see his already large bulge was getting larger.

“Your boxers are getting a bit tight,” you said teasingly. “Maybe you should take them off.”

Alexander’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Oh, hoping for the full experience, are we?”

You blushed. “Oh, well… I mean, if you want. If you just want to make out, that’s fine…”

Alexander grinned.

“Oh, trust me. I most certainly do want .”

He reached back and pulled his vest off, standing before you in almost his full glory. You quickly followed suit, discarding your vest somewhere on the floor, and with a hungry groan, Alexander crawled back on top of you, kissing whichever part of your skin he could get at as he moved. He paused when he reached your breasts, which were embarrassingly in your least sexy bra, because you’d dressed for attending a convention, not for getting laid, but Alexander didn’t seem to mind. He pressed his face against the skin that poked out from the edge of the bra, sighing with pleasure as if the touch of your breast was the most exquisite feeling in the world.

You felt his hand reaching for your back, so you curved your spine to allow him access to your bra strap, and with a few expert movements Alexander tugged your bra off and discarded it with the rest of your clothes.

“Did you know Shakespeare also invented the word majestic?” Alexander said breathily as he took your breasts in his hands, massaging them, pinching your nipples between his fingers. “A word made for these, I’m sure.”

You giggled. “Are you going to start reciting Shakespeare at my boobs, Alex?”

He looked up at you and grinned mischievously, then drew his attention back to your chest.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate,” he whispered against your skin, his attention fully on your breasts and not on you.

You laughed, although a tingle of desire flushed through you at hearing his voice so perfectly made for Shakespeare.

Alexander kissed his way up to your collarbone, then murmured against your neck, “Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer’s lease hath all too short a date.”

He sucked on the flesh of your neck, seemingly determined to leave a mark. You whined, and you heard him chuckle against your skin on hearing your reaction. He sucked the same spot again, then traced kisses down your jaw until his lips were pressed against your ear.

“Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines and often is his gold complexion dimm’d… and every fair from fair sometime declines, by chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d.”

You whined again, the sound of his soft whispers against your ear driving you wild, and you felt an ache between your legs begging to be filled by him.

Alexander fumbled with his boxers, pushing them down his legs to shake them off his ankle, not wanting to move away from you for a second.

“But thy eternal summer shall not fade, nor lose possession of that fair thou owest…”

His fingers slid between your legs, and he smirked when he found you soaking wet, the fabric of your panties moving aside for him almost too easily. He slipped his length up and down your folds, soaking himself in your arousal, and you had to resist taking hold of him and impaling yourself on him.

“Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade, when in eternal lines to time thou growest…”

Alexander kissed you, and as your lips parted for him, so did your entrance, and you felt him slip inside, pushing your walls apart easily as he settled inside you.

“So long as men can breathe or eyes can see… so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

He finished with a firm thrust, hitting himself inside you completely. He closed his eyes as he did so and let out a groan, savouring the feeling of being buried inside you.

“Sonnet… eighteen…” he panted, as if you didn’t know it.

You almost wanted to cry. It was so perfect, so sweet and loving… so unlike what you might expect from Alexander Dane, but you suspected you were seeing a side to him he shared with no one.

“Alex…”

His eyes fluttered open, and he looked down at you, his eyes heavy with desire.

“I need you.”

He smiled, withdrew almost completely, then thrust inside you with a surprising fierceness, contrasting with the gentle way in which he’d penetrated you.

“Do you want to know another word Shakespeare invented?” Alexander purred. “Hot-blooded.”

You cried out in surprise as he began thrusting into you, his movements hard and desperate, any pretence at being gentle thrown aside with your clothes. He dove back into the crook of your neck, determined to create more marks with each thrust. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close, your fingernails digging into his back. He seemed to like that, because he bit down harder on your neck, and when you moved your hand to grab onto the back of his neck, he took your earlobe between his teeth and tugged.

“Mhm , you feel so fucking good,” he grunted, his deep growls by your ear making you want him more and more. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding him in tighter, and he responded by speeding up his thrusts.

Over his shoulder, you could see his arse moving with each thrust, and you thought of a Shakespeare quote of your own.

“Your bum is the greatest thing about you.”

Alexander faltered in his movements as he laughed.

“Measure for Measure. Very clever. Thou art wise as thou art beautiful.”

“Give me my sin again, Alex.”

“Oh, most certainly.”

He began thrusting again, more passionately this time, less desperate; as if he wanted to revel in the feeling of you, more than just put his dick somewhere.

But you were thirsty, and you wanted more.

“Harder, Alex…”

“I don’t want to cum too soon,” he panted in reply. “It’s… been a while. I don’t - don’t think I can trust myself to hold on. Not when - not when you’re so - fucking - gorgeous.”

You groaned in frustration, then with surprising strength, rolled him onto his back. Alexander grunted in surprise, hardly having time to register what had just happened before you were sliding back onto him to ride him at your own pace.

“Fucking hell, [Y/n],” Alexander hissed.

You smirked.

“What? No clever Shakespeare quote?”

“Keep bouncing like that and - mhm - you’ll fuck it all out of me. God, you look amazing like this. Use me, [Y/n], take all the pleasure you can… touch yourself, I want to see you cum like this…”

You gladly obeyed, pressing your fingers against your clit in the way you knew you liked, and Alexander groaned hungrily as he watched you, the pleasure building inside both of you with each movement, any clever words you might have had gone and replaced only with your desperate cries.

You took one of Alexander’s hands and guided it to your breast. He squeezed, and with a cry of your name, you felt his body shuddering beneath you as he came, the feel and sight and sound of you on top of him too much for him to hold back anymore.

You slowed down your movements, and after a few breaths of recovery, Alexander rolled you onto your back, pulled out of you and retreated down your body to bury his face between your legs.

His fingers slid inside you, pumping furiously while his tongue lapped at your sweet spot, and now you understood what he meant about wanting to savour the sensation before losing control, because you hardly had a chance to appreciate his skill before you were cumming on his face, and he lapped up your juices gladly, continuing to work his fingers and tongue on you until the aftershocks of your orgasm had subsided, and only when he was satisfied you were finished did his unstick himself from you, his lips glistening with your juices as he did so.

“Where the pleasant fountains lie, indeed,” he said, wiping his face on the back of his hand. “You could have told me you were a squirter before I put my face down there.”

“And ruin the fun?” you teased.

Alexander chuckled, kissed your inner thigh, then sat up and looked around with a frown.

“Is there no bathroom here? Surely Lazarus would have an en-suite.”

You pushed yourself onto your elbows, looked around and laughed.

“Maybe he ought to take it up with the captain.”

“I’ll certainly be taking it up with the set designers.” Alexander climbed off the bed and offered his hand to you to help you up. “Come on - let’s find a bathroom in this place. If we go to Leilani’s party smelling like sex, I guarantee I won’t hear the end of it.”

You tried your best to act natural around Alexander during the strangest birthday party you’d ever been to, but it was difficult when every time you glanced at him, he was staring right at you. Your eyes would catch, he would smirk, and you’d look away with a blush.

You managed to survive the trip back to Earth without fainting this time, and the cast dispersed to their respective rooms. You tried to get your key in the door, but you’d discovered something very strong and very delicious on the ship, and your vision wasn’t exactly at its peak.

Alexander suddenly appeared at your side, opened your door for you, then followed you inside with a hungry grin, scooping you up in his arms the moment the door was closed.

“Oof! Alex, don’t, I’ll be sick!” you protested.

“Don’t worry, I’m just taking you to bed.”

He carried you across the room and plopped you on the bed, his hands immediately exploring your body the moment they were free.

“I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you again all night. We should never have gone to the party.”

He kissed you sloppily, and his breath smelled like the sweet drinks you’d been drinking all night.

“Alex… m’drunk,” you mumbled as his wet kisses moved to your neck. “An’ you’re drunk too.”

“I am… absolutely wasted,” Alexander admitted. He paused his movements, then rolled himself onto his back with a grunt. He closed his eyes to stop the world from spinning around him.

“Oh my god, we’re gonna have to sleep with these stupid things on,” you realised when you noticed he was still wearing his cap. “Lena’s gonna kill us if we mess them up.”

Alexander snorted derisively. “If hyperspeed travel through space doesn’t mess it up, I doubt sleep will.” His eyes still closed, he put his arm out to her. “C’mon, let’s sleep.”

“M’not sleeping in this,” you said, gesturing to your uniform. You unzipped it and stood to take it off, and let out a yelp of surprise when Alexander’s hand slapped your now exposed arse.

“Gimme that booty,” he said, and you laughed. He was significantly less loquacious, apparently, when he was drunk.

“Only if you gimme yours,” you replied, looking over your shoulder to see he was still fully dressed. He grinned.

“Deal.”

Even though you were drunker than you’d been in a long time, you just about managed to stumble to the minifridge to down a bottle of water. You brought one back for Alexander, but he was already fast asleep, snoring loudly. You left the bottle of water on the bedside table for him, then climbed in next to him and promptly fell asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, thanks to your water trick, your hangover wasn’t as bad as it could have been. You rolled over, hoping to find Alexander next to you, only to find the rest of the bed empty.

You opened your eyes groggily, wincing against the sunlight seeping past the curtains, praying last night hadn’t been a dream.

You slowly sat up, trying not to disturb your churning stomach — and then you heard the distinct sound of vomiting from within the en-suite bathroom.

“Alex?” you called out, your voice hoarse.

He responded with a groan.

You plodded over to the minifridge for another water.

So it had been real. You really had been whisked off to space, you’d really slept with Alexander Dane before getting drunk at an alien’s birthday party - and you’d really slept with Alexander on your return to Earth.

Now he was throwing up in your hotel room’s en-suite.

You glanced at the clock and your heart skipped a beat.

“Alex, the first panel’s in ten minutes!”

“Fuhhem,” Alexander replied.

You poked your head around the bathroom door to find him stood at the sink, one hand holding himself steady while the other washed vomit from his face. He was still in his vest and boxers — and he was still wearing his head cap.

He looked at you through the mirror, and one glance was all you needed to know he wasn’t going to be in any shape to sit at a panel.

“Ruin that cap and Lena’ll kill you.”

Alexander scoffed. “It’s been through worse.”

He didn’t just look rough, but he sounded it too. His voice was hoarse and sounded as if he were trying to sound like sandpaper if it could speak.

“You want me to tell them you’re not coming?”

Alexander nodded groggily.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, his eyes already drooping sleepily. “Not the sexiest look right now.”

You rolled your eyes, then went to find your discarded costume. You definitely felt rough yourself, but you were in much better shape than him, and you knew a black coffee and a bacon sandwich was exactly what you needed to feel right as rain again.

“You can stay here if you want,” you said to him as you got dressed. “So long as you don’t raid the minibar, the agency’ll kill me.”

“Don’t say the word bar to me ever again,” Alexander grumbled as he plodded out of the bathroom and fished his costume from the floor to clumsily put it back on. “I’m going back to my room for a nice long nap, then I’m going home. I’m never doing this again.”

“I’ve sworn I’ll never drink again a million times, I always end up doing it.”

“No, not drinking, of course I’ll drink again. I mean this .” He gestured around the room. “That’s two conventions in a row now that have led to being abducted by aliens. I’m too old for this shit.”

His uniform was only half-zipped up when the zip caught. He tried to tug it, but it resisted, so he sighed and gave up. He was only going to take it off again in a minute anyway.

He looked up at you, looking put-together and just about ready to walk on set, and not at all as if you’d drunk just as much as he had.

“You don’t have to go down there either, you know,” he said suggestively, looking you up and down as he snuck an arm around your waist. “We could stay here and fuck all day.”

You blushed.

“I would like that… but this is my first con. You’re a grumpy old actor, you can get away with it. I can’t. Besides, I don’t think you’re in any condition to fuck right now, do you?”

“Hmm, I suppose not,” Alexander conceded. “But I still want to see you again. Would you give me your number?”

Even after everything, you were still a little starstruck, and the fangirl inside you was ready to explode with excitement that Alexander Dane was asking for your number.

You put your acting skills to good use, and played it cool as you used the hotel stationary to write your mobile number down for him.

He gave your arse a quick squeeze then left with a flirtatious grin.

You took a moment to let yourself silently scream with excitement, then put on your game face and made your way downstairs for your fashionably late entrance to the morning panel. Throughout the day, although you engaged with the fans, one corner of your mind was always thinking about the night you’d spent in space with Alexander Dane.

By the time you finished for the day, Alexander was nowhere to be found, and Gwen discovered from the hotel receptionist that he’d checked out in the morning. You checked your phone, but he hadn’t text you to say goodbye.

You spent the next week checking your phone constantly, but still nothing. You knew he was alive, because you saw him on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, promoting the season finale of the show along with Gwen and Jason. He had to sit there, smiling politely, while Jason made the whole conversation about him and, occasionally, his relationship with Gwen.

“Well, how about that, folks? Love onscreen and off!” Jimmy said, and the audience cheered. Gwen and Jason looked at each other adoringly, in a way you’d never seen them look at each other in person, and Alexander rolled his eyes in a way you definitely had seen in person.

“And talking of onscreen romances,” Jimmy continued, “when are Lazarus and Bethany getting their happily ever after?! We need them together!”

The audience cheered - louder, this time.

“Well, I can’t comment on what the writers have planned,” Alexander replied. “But if they want her back, it’s [Y/n] [L/n] they’ll have to convince, not me. I don’t think she’d want to come back.”

“Yes, you do!” you protested, as if he could hear you. “You know I want to come back, you prat!”

“Well, we sure want her back, don’t we, everyone?” Jimmy said, and the audience cheered in encouragement.

The topic moved on to Peter Taggart’s character arc, and you turned the TV off in frustration. What on earth was Alexander doing, making it out as if you were hesitant to come back? He’d heard you say enough times over the weekend, onstage and off, that you’d love to come back. You wouldn’t have spent two days with that stupid cap on if you didn’t!

You glanced at your phone. He still hadn’t text you.

Well, whatever. Fuck him. You had better things to do than to mope over some guy. He might be your biggest celebrity crush and your theatrical icon, but he was still just some guy, and clearly not above making fake promises about seeing you again once he’d got his dick in you.

You didn’t need him.

But damn, you wanted him.

---

You saw Alexander Dane again a year later.

In that time, you’d been promoted from understudy to taking on the role of Johanna every night, and you were far too focused on nailing the high notes eight times a week to think about stupid actors who ask for your number with no intention of using it.

You had to stop visiting Galaxy Quest forums. It was too weird when you came up in discussions, especially when the fans you were talking to didn’t know you were you. It was especially weird when they talked about how hot you were. The final straw was when you came across fanfiction involving, not Lazarus and Bethany, but you and Alexander.

You deleted your account then.

Then one day, you got a call from your agent: would you like to come back for a short one-scene appearance on Galaxy Quest?

You considered saying no, but you didn’t want Alexander’s jackassery to affect your career, or the show, and if the writers thought Bethany needed to show up for a scene then you’d let it happen - despite what Alexander claimed. 

So you showed up at the studios and chatted amicably with Lena while she fitted the cap on your head. Fortunately, Alexander had been filming for hours, so you didn’t have to sit next to him awkwardly.

You went over your lines again. While the glue set, Lena took your script in her hands and read Alexander’s lines to test your memory of your own, but you spent more time giggling at her impression of his deep, baritone voice than actually reciting your lines.

You were called to set, and just like before, you had little time to prepare before you were thrown into the scene. The director ran you through your blocking a couple of times while you waited for Alexander to appear, and then… there he was.

You avoided looking at him until action was called.

Inside and around a wet cave on the shore of the land of a planet Lazarus had never heard of, several dozen Mak’Tar were bustling about, getting ready for the day. He stared about, aghast, marvelling at the sight of so many of his own kind, the kind he’d thought dead long ago.

“Excuse me,” he said to a passing man, “I’ve just arrived here. I was told to see your leader.”

The man smiled gladly. “Another survivor? Welcome, friend! Here, I’ll take you to her.”

The man led him to a woman who was by the shoreline, teaching a young child how to fish with his hands.

“Bethany! We have another survivor.”

Lazarus’ eyes widened in surprise at the sound of the familiar name, and sure enough, the woman he’d rescued from the alien zoo turned around.

She smiled.

“Hello, Lazarus. I hoped you’d find your way here some day.”

“I… got a little lost,” he admitted.

“We all did.”

Bethany stepped down from the rock she was standing on and took Lazarus’ hands in hers.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

There was a moment’s hesitation.

“Cut!”

You dropped Alexander’s hands, looking back at the director in surprise.

“Where the hell is the chemistry?” he demanded. “Last time you were here, the chemistry between you was off the charts. So much so the fans sent us a petition to bring you back, [Y/n]! But this, whatever it is, it’s not chemistry.”

“Right, sorry,” you said, a little embarrassed. “Where shall we start from?”

“Go back to the beginning. The whole thing needs to flow. [Y/n], at least try to pretend like you’re happy to see him, okay?”

You tried the scene six more times, but still the director wasn’t happy.

“I’m sorry, can we take a break, please?” you asked, the frustration in your chest only getting worse with each take. “Maybe I just need some air.”

The director sighed.

“Alright, fine. Ten minutes.”

You took a proffered coat from a PA and, after a quick trip to the loo, stepped outside - and sighed when you saw that Alexander was already there with a cigarette in his hand.

You hesitated, about to turn back inside, when he silently held the box out to you.

“…Thanks.”

You took a cigarette from the box, borrowed his lighter to light it, and leaned against the wall with a sigh.

“Is acting with me really that difficult?” Alexander said after a long puff.

“Apparently.”

“About as difficult as talking to me, I suppose.”

“Mmm.”

Alexander sighed in frustration.

“Can you at least try to be professional?”

“Dunno. Can you at least try to be a decent person?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You threw your cigarette on the ground and stomped it out in frustration.

“It means , Alexander, if you were just going to use and discard me, you could have been fucking honest. Asking for my number and not bothering to text me, not even to say you’re not interested? That is a major dick move, even for you.”

Alexander frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean, what am I talking about? I’m talking about you fucking me in fucking space, taking my number and talking about wanting to see me again, then completely blanking me!”

Alexander stubbed out his cigarette, reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out his phone. A few beeps later, he showed you the screen.

Text message To: [Y/n] [L/n] Hello its Alex

He showed you another.

Are you ok? Not heard from you.

And another.

Will wait for you to reply.

You stared, gaping.

“I thought you’d changed your mind, so I stopped,” Alexander said. “Are you saying you didn’t get any of my messages?”

“No! I thought you just never texted me!”

Alex sighed. “I knew I should have called. I was going to, but Guy kept telling me young people didn’t actually call each other anymore, it’s all text messages these days.”

“You probably put my number in wrong! It’s 555-1946.”

Alex tapped through his contacts to find you.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I’ve got 555-7946. It’s your bloody handwriting!”

“Hey, don’t blame me! Who have you been texting then?”

“I don’t bloody know, do I? Whichever poor sod got these never replied. Again — I should have called. Then I’d have known - oh, for God’s sake. I’ve spent the last year pissed at you for ignoring me.”

“And I’ve spent the last year pissed at you!” you groaned in exasperation. “So are you - I mean, are you, you know - still interested? I mean, I’ve been dating, it’s not like I’ve been pining over you” - a lie - “but I’m single now. If… you are.”

Alexander snorted. “[Y/n], you are awful at flirting.”

“…Yeah.”

“Well, so am I. Can we agree to skip that part and go straight to snogging?”

“God, yes.”

Your lips collided as the two of you fell into an embrace - as best you could with the bulky coats you were wearing. Alexander grabbed you by the waist and spun you around to pin you against the wall, hands sliding underneath your coat to grab at your curves. While one hand caressed your body, the other snuck up to your neck to hold your head firmly against his, only for the two of you to break the kiss and burst into laughter when you realised that, once again, you had the stupid caps on.

“Christ, I can’t wait to be rid of this thing,” Alexander muttered. “Two more days, then I’m free of it.”

“What do you mean?”

He hesitated, then said, “It’s my last day on Friday. I’m quitting the show.”

“What?!”

“Shh, keep your voice down!” Alexander said, glancing around as if there might be someone spying on you in the empty backlot. “They’re announcing it on Saturday, once I’m done with filming. Are you that surprised? Have you read the scene or are you just reciting lines mindlessly?”

You batted him on the chest. “You bastard! I thought it was a plot about the Mak’Tar surviving! So, what, Lazarus leaves the ship and lives happily ever after with Bethany on Tev’Meck II?”

“Something like that. They were going to kill me off, but I thought it’d be much better for him to find some purpose… and love.”

You grinned cheekily. “You just wanted an excuse to have me back, didn’t you?”

“What, when I thought you’d ignored me? No, as much as this show pisses me off sometimes —”

“Only some?”

“— I wanted Lazarus to have a fitting ending.”

“And this way we can get a spinoff.”

Alexander threw his hands up. “No! Absolutely not. They couldn’t offer me enough money.”

“What, to lead your own show? With me as your co-star?”

“Both of those things sound wonderful, but not as Lazarus. I’m done with him. I want to go back to the theatre.”

“Ooh, the guy who plays Turpin is leaving, we’re holding auditions soon! Maybe you could be the Turpin to my Johanna.”

“It’d certainly be a test of your acting skills pretending you’re not incredibly attracted to me,” Alexander said with a grin. “Pretend to hate me on stage then run off for a quickie in intermission.”

“You wish. I’m far too professional for that.”

“After bows, then?”

“Definitely. Come on, let’s go back. Now I’m not pissed at you, I might actually be able to get this stupid scene done.”

It only took two more takes to get the scene right. Your chemistry was back, and when your cue came to kiss, you and Alexander went on for perhaps a bit longer than necessary - but nobody asked you to stop.

The scene finally finished, the two of you went to Lena to get your caps removed, and after a trip to wardrobe to get back into your own clothes, you met Alexander out back, both of you wearing normal, human clothes with your heads freed from the confines of those stupid caps.

He smiled when he saw you and held his hand out to you. You took it, then he pulled you close to him, and kissed you deeply. He grabbed the back of your head, his fingers finally threading through your hair, and when your lips parted, he was looking a little flustered.

“Got any plans tonight?”

“Well, there’s this guy I was gonna ask out, but…”

Alexander raised an eyebrow. “But?”

“But I think he’s about to ask me out.”

He grinned.

“What d’you say to dinner at mine? I don’t want to be batting off fans and paparazzi when I should be paying attention to you.”

“Home cooked dinner? I’d be an idiot to say no.”

“Good thing you’re a clever girl, then.”

He kissed you again, gave your arse a squeeze, then wrapped an arm around your shoulder to escort you to his car.

Your every dream was coming true - and it was only the beginning.