#it’s not a moral judgement it’s just not my cup of tea

[sparky-is-spiders]

I want to expand on this now that it’s not super late actually because upon rereading it I am not confident I emphasized the corruption arc of it all enough.

I think they should promise to keep the other in check but actually make each other worse. By the time they’ve gone full monster they’ll have forged a deep and unbreakable connection with both of them being the Archivist and also have pushed away everyone else. They try to justify their own actions by justifying the other’s actions. Sasha covers for Jon when they go statement hunting and vice versa. Sasha uses her powers the way she used her computer skills: learning other people’s personal/private information without their knowledge. Jon indulges in the gossip because learning about Dave From Research’s affair or Melinda From Accounting’s drama with her sister helps them feel a little more human. A break from the loneliness and horror of their lives that just so happens to entrench them both a little further in Beholding.

I want Jon and Sasha to be each other’s lights in the darkness even as they push each other further into it. They bicker like nerds over Jonah’s fanmail one evening and the next they go for a romantic dinner (person who encountered the Fears) in a 7/11 at 1:27 in the morning.

Also I think they should give each other statements about their supernatural encounters starting when they go on the run. It’s a bonding experience!! They’re getting to know each other!! And it sort of continues from their, each of them giving the other statements about following supernatural experiences (even ones the other was there for).

I think they should also have a mental link. It allows them to communicate over long distances but also borrow each other’s powers (I like to think they have some overlap, but Sasha is more about subtlety and Knowing while Jon is more about compelling directly). They read Jonah’s 160 statement together. They dive into the new world together.

Just. Just consider a Jonsasha dual archivists corruption arc. Please?

The thing I love so much about Jonsasha dual archivist AUs is how easily it becomes a "them against the world" situation. Falling into the Beholding at almost exactly the same time, developing similar (although perhaps not identical) powers, having the same inhuman diet, driving away their coworkers...

And yeah that last one IS super vital to Jonsasha because I think they would. Jon's paranoia combined with Sasha's stalking skills? Their intelligence and reckless knowledge-seeking? It would be a mess. Tim losing both his close friend and his (work friend? acquaintance?) at the same time, right after a traumatic experience? The others watching as they start withdrawing into each other more and more (even as they're each monitoring the other for signs of betrayal). Do you think Sasha "lets hang with my creepy monster stalker at midnight (without telling anyone)" James would catch on to the blink-and-you-miss-it reference to the possibility that the web table traps the Not-Them? I am not totally convinced she would even bother getting a weapon before investigating it (which is... exactly what she did in canon, actually??).

I want them to hear the Jurgen statement together. I want them to go out and share a smoke and a charged conversation while Elias does his thing. I want them to go tearing through the London supernatural community with reckless abandon. I want Elias to have to frantically restructure his plans while he tries to figure out how the hell having Two Entire Archivists might mess with his plans. I want them to rack up marks shockingly quickly. I want Sasha to encourage Jon to hop over boundaries with her. I want them to drag each other down. I want them to be feared and hated by the remaining archival staff because Sasha keeps Knowing deeply personal information about them "accidentally" and Jon can't stop compelling people and they have the same freaky eyes and they're chasing each other down the same destructive path.

I want Jonsasha taking solace in each other, exchanging statements about their respective supernatural encounters (look it's cute ok?) and coming to Know each other in a way nobody else ever could. I want them to anchor each other. I want them to make everything worse forever. I want them to always defend each other, even as their own guilt keeps piling up and their friends keep getting angry and hurt. Dual archivist Jonsasha is two sides of the same coin, coming together even as they drive everybody else away. It's so juicy and I think about it constantly.

I think Elias finds a way to pull off his plan and when he does they slowly give in to their natures and enjoy their apocalypses after a lovely and long mutual corruption arc. That is all.

[starterheart]

hart | he/any | 23 | taken | MDNI fr

Love getting asks, will answer DMs usually just when I’m intoxicated but feel free to send them whenever.

Intro & boundaries below the cut!

Here for intox content (alcohol/weed)

Non-kinky buzzkill up top: Please use substances responsibly. Know your limits, set boundaries and enforce them. I’m happy to have fun & encourage you/be encouraged, but safety comes first. If you need help, I can direct you to resources and will never judge you.

CNC comes with the territory, though it’s not something I’m into outside of intox contexts/light roleplay. Something where both parties aren’t each enjoying themself in a scene is a turnoff for me. (This isn’t a moral judgement on your kink, and I am aware that consent isn’t possible under the influence regardless.)

No feedism fetish but I think fat people are hot and I don’t mind it, lots of folks combine it with intox so you may see some on here.

All you need to know about my identity is that its demographic is not cishet men. If I like women it’s in a butch way, if I like men it’s in a transgender way. TME

I have a partner and he is my favorite person in the world. if you ever end up seeing this ilysm

I don’t like to engage with particularly hardcore or dark kinks (or extremely explicit content) and I may block you if that’s all you post or if you don’t tag! But trying to get a better understanding of them too. Blocking is nothing personal, I just want to curate my experience

Basically if it isn’t intox or maybe hypno, it might not be my cup of tea.

Lmk if you need things tagged or deleted

I will update this intro post with boundaries and clarifications as they come up!

Here for fantasies and fun, my real life is my own business. Now back to being horny about substances on the internet.

[icanseethefuture333]

Your readings are amazing!!! Thank you for all you do!

May we please have a Karina reputation in the industry reading?

Tarot reading on:

Aespa's Karina

Note: I wanted to mention that I know about the group Aespa but I know nothing about the girls so I'm answering this the best to my knowledge! 😅

Karina's reputation as an Idol:

Ace of Cups, Ten of Cups, & Three of Wands

Her reputation as an Idol is actually very positive :)! People could have a lot of nice things to say about her. I feel that Karina treats the staff with kindness and respect. She views the people who she works with as family (perhaps this is regarding the other members of the group or the people in her pr/management/stylist team?). Karina could have the mindset that professionalism is great, but being a human being with good morals is even better. She is very understanding when some sort of accident happens at work and if someone got in trouble at their job, she might cover for them. So for this, people are really grateful towards her. Also she could be successful overseas or has a large fan base internationally. People see her as "worldly" or "cultured".

What do people think of Karina in the music industry?:

Judgement, Knight of Wands, & Six of Pentacles

They see her as someone who's very passionate but observant. She could be very critical of herself when working and for some people they might prey on that, there is some people who are jealous of her so if she were to express she needs to improve something (when she actually doesn't need to), they'd agree with her out of envy. Karina doesn't let people get underneath her skin though so when receives criticism from producers, singing coaches, etc. She is the type of person to take those notes and apply it when practicing. I feel that after a long day of work, Karina would actually bring some sort of gift as a thank you. So for example, if she was in the studio with other people, Karina would maybe buy some coffee or snacks for them if they went too long without eating a meal. She is attentive and caring, but needs to be careful being too nice to people who don't deserve her kindness.

What do other idols think of Karina?:

Two of Wands, Knight of Swords, Three of Swords, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands, King of Wands, & The Empress (reversed)

UM TEA 🍵??? I feel that she's been involved in some gossip or other idols are gossiping about her right now. Karina has had people offer her romantic gestures and she's rejected a few of them but there was one person in particular she let get close to her and let's just say they were the wrong one to choose. There was someone else who also liked Karina and had positive intentions towards her, but the person she ended up dating was a cheater (what in the love triangle is going on here ?! 😳). I feel that the person that with Karina even knew that the other person liked her before they did. This person could of told them in private that hey liked her so the other person was like "oh really 😏"? They might even swooped in to ask her out before they could confess to her omg?! The two people Karina got involved with could of even been possibly from the same group or are friends with each other. So even though Karina isn't at fault here and the other person who screwed them both over is the actual one to blame, people are blaming her for this situation. Karina is now painted as this "cold" girl who's a "heartbreaker" when that's not the case. (Clarified by the Five of Swords) OOOOO THIS DIRTY DOG 🤬! This is crazy, this person does not feel bad at all that they sabotaged what could of been possibly a good relationship for Karina and the other person who had a crush on her. That's so freaking sad 😭💔

Will Karina be able to resolve this situation?:

Five of Pentacles & Strength

Yes she will but she might be shunned by other idols or be an outcast for a while. Karina would try to make friends with people but because of the gossip/rumors it will be hard. She has to find the confidence and strength in being herself and not let these people project their jealousy and insecurities onto her. Despite the circumstances, she will continue to be strong and be the star that she is.

[guardian-angle22]

Regarding this ask: https://at.tumblr.com/guardian-angle22/if-we-can-forgive-tk-for-his-none-stop-fuck-ups/rvkufs12h4tr

I just saw this tweet in my timeline and I’m very much looking forward to whatever they’re about to throw at us: https://twitter.com/otbreyestrand/status/1618088320210448385?s=46&t=a3cydHTsdovpxdPEV5PwNA

The screenshot from the tweet (and link to full article):

That last quote from Rafa is definitely interesting to me and I think shows why I’m reserving judgement about how I’m feeling with this story until it’s been fully resolved. So definitely looking forward to that bit as well, anon! I think we could end up getting some really thoughtful scenes of Carlos coming to terms with his mistakes and dealing with his issues of repressing his feelings/thoughts/mistakes.

I however, uhhh… don’t love the first part of this? “Dedicated police officer tirelessly trying to get answers and won’t stop until he does”…. is just not my cup of tea. I’m not gonna be hating on this when it airs cause I know a lot of people will be excited to see it, but I hate cops. This sounds like it has the potential to be one of my least favorite types of copganda: a ~morally just~ cop going off books and breaking laws/protocol in order to seek the truth and save the day. I try really hard to not yuck anyone else’s yum, so when that inevitably happens I’m going to keep my thoughts to myself lol. Especially since it’s my own fault for getting invested in a procedural show, naturally some of this will be present unfortunately.

But also gonna take this opportunity to say that after reading interviews with him, I think Rafael is really excited about what he got to do in the first four episodes and so since he’s excited, I’m excited for him and I’m going to hope people can appreciate the work he put in despite not liking the content right now.

[omegaversebookshelf]

Some Slightly Old Fashioned Fandom Vocabulary That I Will Be Using

YKINMKATO - Affectionately shorthanded as "kink tomato" YKINMKATO stands for "your kink is not my kink (and that's okay)" its used along the lines of "don't yuk somebodies yum" and basically means that having different interests/kinks/preferences than people is absolutely 100% okay and we respect each other and stay in our lanes with no moral judgements towards each other.

Squick - Perhaps my favorite word to ever come out of internet fandom, "squick" is a term used to indicate that a certain ship or trope or kink is something that you do not want to engage in because you yourself do not like it and it might even make you uncomfortable but you are not judging the people who do enjoy it it just isn't your personal cup of tea. Again, squick, like kink tomato, is a morally neutral, judgement free term. It's just a word for things you don't like and prefer to avoid. (A lot of the time in fandom recently I've seen 'trigger' being used when people actually mean 'squick' and there is a very important distinction between these two.)

[kitkatt0430]

I'm sorry if you dislike the character but. . . Cynthia (arrowverse) for the blorbo bingo card, please? I'm here to gather tea. *pours a cup*

So I definitely disliked her initially. She was there to either kill HR or drag him back to E19 for execution and had zero problems with any of this. After Lisa, it didn't surprise me that Cisco was flirting with her - Cisco has a thing for the dangerous ladies, annoying though it can be at times - but I liked the episode itself for forcing Cisco to step up his game with his powers and giving us a glimpse - through Cynthia - of how powerful Cisco could become in the future. (A failed promise right there...)

But Cynthia kept showing back up and she did get some interesting character growth. I wasn't thrilled that Cisco jumped into a relationship with her between the end of S3 and the start of S4 because I didn't think she was in a place where she was ready to actually be who Cisco needed. But by then I had started warming up to her. And I did like that she and Cisco were very cute together. Yet none of that shook my certainty throughout S4 that they were not right for each other. So it was a little validating when they broke up at the end of the season because love wasn't enough to keep them together when their needs were too conflicting.

So the problem of Cynthia mainly stemmed from her job. So long as she worked for the Collectors, an organization of dubious morality at best, she just was not going to be right for Cisco. And I think to some degree the show runners realized this because while in S3 the Collectors are poised as antagonists through Cynthia - who's growing sympathy for Team Flash was shown to be something that could put her at odds with and in danger from the Collectors were it known - S4 gave us a very different view of them. Cynthia's character arc at the end of S3 seemed like maybe she was headed towards eventually clashing with her workplace which, as the Collectors were shown to be a shady, unethical, and hypocritical organization, seemed like a good direction to go in for developing the flirtation between her and Cisco into an actual relationship over the course of S4.

However, S4 opened with Cisco and Cynthia already dating. And, not entirely surprising given so much of S3 was retconned in some form or fashion, Cynthia's relationship with her place of work was completely changed. She was no longer poised to have growing ethical concerns about her work. Her backstory questions with E19's artificial speedster were largely dropped. The Collectors was suddenly being run by her father, making her position there benefiting from nepotism that would insulate her from the consequences of her S3 actions. And when she wants to collect another person from E1 to bring back to E19 for judgement, she's in the right. The Collectors are, overall, still the shady organization of S3, but S4 tries very hard to pretend otherwise and make Cynthia's place of work a place of 'good guys' so that it would be an enticing place for Cisco to consider leaving Team Flash for.

Cynthia's characterization definitely suffers for these choices. While S4 undeniably fills her out as a character, it does so at the expense of her S3 characterization and the story arc she seemed to be on in S3. S3 was definitely the worst season of the Flash at the time, but the heavy retconning of that season's events going into S4 had a lot of 'throwing out the baby with the bathwater' vibes going for it. Cynthia was a popular love interest for Cisco at that point and I have no doubt that she was brought in specifically to fill that niche in time, but by rushing her into being Cisco's girlfriend, they cut her character development off at the knees. Cisco could not be dating a morally ambiguous character, after all. As Barry's best friend and a growing hero in his own right, Cisco needed to be dating a character who encouraged him as a hero and pushed him to better himself. (Kamilla does fit this niche really well, though I know she got a lot of dislike for not being Cynthia. Which is unfortunate.)

To some degree, Cynthia did this. She helped him really embrace his powers and the many ways he could use those powers to help people. But she and the Collectors could not be fully divorced from their S3 characterizations. Instead of S4 being about Cynthia taking inspiration from Cisco to leave behind an ethically dubious organization and truly finding herself as a hero in her own right, it became an arc about Cisco being tempted into abandoning his home for a bad path (Cynthia, Josh, and the Collectors) and ultimately resisting it. Which isn't exactly a bad story to tell, but I'm not sure the show runners realized that was the story they were telling because Josh is positioned as being a super cool guy (when he isn't trying to kill his daughter's boyfriend) and the Collectors as being morally correct this time around (even when they really weren't).

Of course, to really screw Cynthia over one last time, when she shows back up in S6, it's so that she can die in service of furthering Cisco's relationship with Kamilla, repairing Cisco's relationship with Josh, and earning Josh's approval of the girl who has taken his daughter's place as Cisco's girlfriend. Cynthia truly deserved better than that as her final appearance on the show.

[andr0medafallen]

Green Tea Lemonade

A/N: Republishing my old fics

Pairing: Michael Perry x reader

Warnings: Playful existentialism, hipster coffee shops, fluff, judgmental baristas, overenthusiastic pretty boy Michael Perry, Michael Perry's fat ass, light swearing

Description: Hipster Coffee shops are fun, in their own way. Still, you wouldn’t mind if a handsome music teacher came and saved you from the exposed brick and judgemental baristas.

Word Count: 1.4k

You sat in the small, hipster-ish cafe as you waited for your drink. You figured that that was the sort vibe that the exposed brick and edison light bulbs nodded to. You had ordered the barista’s suggestion when you arrived, a green iced tea lemonade because ‘if you’re gonna get an upside down caramel macchiato, at that point just get a latte, dude.’ So when you asked for suggestions because clearly you didn’t know the ins and outs of overly pretentious coffee, you had quickly agreed to the barista's first suggestion.

You were a little hesitant to be going out so soon after moving to Pittsburgh, but you figure that that’s how you make friends, right? So when you saw the flyer for the open mic night at this cafe, you figured, why not? The boxes of your belongings could wait; it was a sunny Friday afternoon and you didn’t even start your new job until Monday.

You had scribbled your name onto the list of acts at the front of the room, and had even made time to find your guitar amongst the piles of your packed belongings before you left for this thing. It felt good to be out of the house, being independent in that spontaneous ‘I do whatever I want’ kind of way, but a part of you still felt like a bit of an outsider in a new city. Which, even rationally, you were.

You sat at the table which you had claimed for yourself. Strangely, the oak table was covered in graffiti. Cartoon flowers and existentialism covered the cluttered surface of the table, but it seemed encouraged by the owners of the establishment; A cup of multicolored sharpies was sitting tantalizingly at the table. You read some of the different messages which surrounded the cool condensation of your drink. ‘I am a cage, in search of a bird. 888-447-5594.’ Kafka. Interesting choice for table graffiti. You wondered how desperate you would have to be to start using a cafe table as your own personal tinder. On a scale of ‘Mary Wollstonecraft is my favorite philosopher’ to ‘that guy in college who put sticky notes on every door in my four story apartment building with his number on them’, you would probably put it at a solid seven.

You choked a bit on your tea (lemonade) when your name was announced on the speaker system at the front of the room. Not a gross amount, just a perfectly reasonable, ‘Mary Wollstonecraft is my favorite philosopher’ amount. Probably. Was in not she who said, ‘Those who are bold enough to perform in front of a very small crowd in a cafe…must learn to brave the possibility of choking on green tea lemonade’? Still, you got your sputtering under control in record time and made your way to the front of the room, guitar in hand.

You sat on the stool at the front of the room, forgoing an introduction in what you hoped was a blasé, couldn’t give two shits type of way. In reality, it was more of a, ‘God, why did I come here again? I should not have watched Pitch Perfect on the plane’ type of way. Not that you ever thought you were better than any one or cooler than anyone or any sort of embodiment of Anna Kendrick’s performance as Beca, but you were really tired. Honestly, you didn’t even feel like you had any moral superiority over Beca from Pitch Perfect. Hell, she would probably love this venue.

You finger-picked out the first few notes of your song before finding your way into a steady strum pattern and beginning to sing the lyrics and melody. You had listened to and learned to play lots of different songs at open mic night and karaoke bars, but this one was your favorite. You’d been told that it was sad and depressing and all of those lovely adjectives in the past, but it made you feel seen. And you figured that if this was the sort of venue where people quoted Kafka in an attempt to get bitches then mildly depressing music was perfectly acceptable.

It wasn’t until you had strummed out your last note that you really gauged your pseudo-audiences reaction. For the most part it was about the same as for anyone else, which was the preferred reaction in your book. Tame applause before returning to conversations. Except for this one curly-haired son-of-a-bitch who, for reasons unknown was freaking the fuck out. We’re talking those loud finger-in-mouth whistles that Dads do at little league baseball games, rapid-fire clapping, all of the above. Which, really, was flattering, sure, but who the fuck did he think you were, Taylor Swift?

You gave the man a hesitant placating smile before packing up your Martin and returning to your seat. It was an effort to avoid unnecessary eye-contact with anyone, but a worthy cause, in your opinion. That is, until Mr. Curl-of-Hair Fat-of-Ass made his way to your table. You looked up at him over your plastic cup of cheap tea, probably fake lemons, and artificial sweetener.

“I liked your song a lot,” He told you, stupid little smirk on his face, which was somehow safely on the genuine side of the line.

You chuckled. “Yeah, clearly,” you teased. You didn’t really know why, but you nodded towards the chair across from you, giving him an opening to take a seat. That’s what this was about though, right? Making friends. Your #1 fan accepted your offer, turning the chair around and sitting on it backwards, arms resting on the backrest.

“Seriously, you’re super good! I was going to play something, but how am I supposed to follow that up?” He exclaimed, running a hand through his curls. You laughed, shaking your head. He reached out his hand to shake yours. “I’m Michael, by the way.”

Taking his hand, you offered your own name.

“I do appreciate it, the compliment,” you admitted to him. “I’m kind of the new kid in town.” You chuckled a bit, blushing at your own childish phrasing. “So I guess even ridiculously boisterous applause and enthusiasm is appreciated.”

“Can I buy you a coffee?” He asked, a bold departure from the original source material. His cheeky grin when his eyes met your still mostly full drink told you everything and nothing about his personality. Somehow he kept managing to do what you would have considered the most cocky shit on any other man without seeming one bit an arrogant asshole.

“Honestly,” you looked into those warm brown eyes, leaning forward so that your gazes were level right above the wooden table and its sharpied Kafka quote, “I don’t want to be here right now.” You whispered it to him like it was a guarded secret. Like some part of it affected the fate of the world.

He matched your gaze, pausing for a moment as if considering or analyzing you. As if making sure that it was the place, and that he wasn’t making you uncomfortable in any way. “I think we can remedy that.”

You gasped, pressing a hand against your chest as if scandalized. “I don’t know what you’re implying but–”

Michael laughed, interrupting you with, “You are crazy, you know that?” You only smiled at him. Of course you were the crazy one. Shaking his head, he suggested, “Here’s a proposal, we leave, I show you the city that you clearly don’t understand the awesomeness levels of, and I finish that tea that you don’t look like you wanted.” He got out of his seat and came around to your side of the table, offering you his hand should you agree to his plan. “It’s a win-win situation.”

You took his hand, rising to his level. “Fine. But the tea is mine.” You doinked the plastic cup against his surprisingly solid arm in a joking cheers and downed the rest of the…What would be the prestigious way to put it? Citrusy blend of organic green tea, highlighted with an ethically sourced lemonade, and made more palatable with a house-made simple syrup.

He laughed at you, leading you out of the building, hands still connected, guitar scars on your hand meeting the guitar scars on his. “Deal.”

You could faintly hear the barista say “Thank God,” as you left, and knew that it was definitely directed at the fact that the two of you were no longer in her lovely establishment.

[dear-mrs-otome]

personally I'm not surprised about Gilbert's behavior because he always called himself a villain. this doesn't bother me because I find him very interesting but I can totally see why he wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, that's why I think fans who plan to read his route shouldn't underestimate how evil he could act even towards the mc. of course that doesn't mean they will definitely portray him as a total monster, but it's better to keep in mind that currently this guy is out for blood.

I certainly agree with you that there are a lot of people excited for Gilbert and/or villain routes in general. I can appreciate that, I firmly believe that variety is the spice of life and not every suitor is going to appeal to everyone - that's why these games have so many options!

It's a given that as a 'villain' Gilbert will be problematic and morally questionable, I don't think anyone would go into the game or his route expecting otherwise. My only issue here is that (and this is a personal critique on media of all forms, in general, but especially media aimed at women or female adjacent spaces) I think it's quite doable to make a compelling villain that is actually a villain, without resorting to violence and abuse against women to illustrate that. We're long past the fridging women stage one would hope, and this is a complaint I have about Ikemen Prince in general often - just look at the piles of women's bodies/trauma littering these 'tragic backstories'.

If Emma wasn't a woman, would Gilbert choose to choke her? I highly doubt that, nor would he choose to physically and psychologically dominate her in other ways that are usually reserved for female targets as well. The direction that Cybird chose in that moment, alongside say...the sexual harassment perpetrated against MCs by villainous types in other games and routes, is a jarring and unwelcome reminder of the abuse women face on a daily ongoing basis in the real world, and I find it a bit disappointing.

I would prefer that sort of thing remain outside of the sphere of where I go for entertainment, especially when your characterization can be made in other more compelling ways. But that is absolutely my personal opinion alone - I am sorry to have gotten a little bit up on my soapbox with your answer Nonny.

At the end of the day, it's their story and they are free to go in whatever direction they want with it. As long as they are honest and upfront about the material contained within their products so that no one is walking in blind (which I may add the English team has absolutely done an amazing job of doing so with their content warnings recently and I applaud and support this wholeheartedly) then I agree it's on us readers what we choose to engage or not engage with - without judgement on those who make other choices.

[ohheyitsokay]

trials

this takes place in my ‘poly frontier’ universe

pairing: Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco “Catfish Morales, Ben “Benny” Miller and a female reader

wordcount: 2.1k

warnings: all fics in this series are 18+, poly relationship, domestic, romantic, and sexual intimacy. strong language, angst with a happy ending

summary: this one is a Santi story - he tries to bring another girl into the relationship, and learns instead how much he loves you

it wont be everyone's cup of tea but I felt like it was an important part of the story

note: don’t hate Santi! I think this is a pretty normal, and the best sunsets come after rain

>>

Santi was the first to branch out. He didn’t mean to – hated himself for it a little, but he did.

This – whatever this is, it’s a ticking time bomb, he told Will. One of has to do something before it breaks all of our hearts.

It was a lie.

They both knew it. But he had the money and the looks and the confidence and he was just hurt enough by the sight of you asleep in Ben’s lap one afternoon that he just… let it get to him.

Brooded and boiled until he was overcome with false righteousness and pure selfishness.

He didn’t look you in the eyes when he told you he was going to try to get another girl. It wasn’t that he was leaving what you all had, just that he deserved a chance at whatever he called balance. His gaze in the other men’s eyes was too bold – the look of a desperate man, terrified of being hurt so causing it on his own terms.

You nodded numbly, shocked in spite of yourself, scolding and scathing voices in your mind telling you not to be selfish. Not to be greedy.

He deserves more than sharing.

Tucking yourself into Frankie’s arms, you tried not to glare or cry and only failed at the latter. Because it’s not the dating another girl that hurt, really it’s not. Polyamory is hard, and it was always an open option. What hurts is his blatant choice to ignore the relationship his has with you, specifically, that he’s ignoring everything you and him have worked for, built with love and time and care.

Rubbing gentle hands over your skin, Will and Frankie and Ben shared looks as Santi stalks away.

Frankie corners him in the garage the next morning. You had slept between him and Will the night before, but they had all felt you toss and turn, all spent a fair amount of time staring at the ceiling themselves. His dark eyes are an insecure that shoots into Frankie’s core – it’s a look he knows, has spent months overcoming. He swallows hard, his words dying in his throat, and he simply shakes his head.

It almost breaks Santi in two, the first moment one of his loves betrays the damage he’s done, but he tells himself there’s no going back.

“Better now than later, when our parents hate her or –”

Frankie’s look stops him and he flinches away.

Will is at the bar he chooses without an invite, knowing where he’d be without having to even ask and they both try not to think of you at home with Ben, probably dripping flames. Santi wonders if it hurts more to watch him flirt, or to do it, but neither of them say a word to each other. In spite of it all, the respect his judgement, respect his choice, and that hurts too.

It feels strange to have others looking him up and down and to look back, smile with lust void of love and soak in the attention.

Before he succumbs to it, Santi wishes Will would come over, slide his hand around his neck and… stop respecting him so much. It would pull him back, but since he doesn’t, the thought dies under the burn of cheap alcohol.

-

She’s lovely, really, graceful like a cat.

Santi has kept her from you all for a few weeks now, keeping his dignity with distance. But now she’s here, in your home, and you should be jealous but instead you just smile sadly at her, and slip off to the kitchen.

He likes… coffee, dark roast, with just a clump of raw sugar. You’re stirring it when you realize they followed you, hovering at the door. The ache of it is less than it was before and they’re happy together, so for his sake, you sit down across from her.

She’s kind, friendly. Knows the gist of the situation, tells you she’ll go at your pace.

And it crashes into you, how he’s pinned you at a time when know one else is home, offering her up to you like a plea, a child who used the superglue to make a gift, never mind the fact that his hands are both stuck to it and burning.

It feels reasonable to have another woman around, to make the numbers less absurd, to – to help you. Her smile is a little shy and she takes you hand and she looks at Santi with such adoration that a knot loosens in your chest involuntarily.

She doesn’t joke about it, any of it, and you almost wish she would. It would be so much easier to hate her if she was shallow, or stupid, or something but she’s not, and when she smiles you almost think you could be friends. You wonder if you could make it work, like they do for you.

Ben and Will come home early, stepping in like the angels they are, planting themselves solid at your side like trees with roots deeper than they are tall. When Frankie comes home, he takes the spot of the two of them as their eyes draw Santi into another room.

“What the fuck, Garcia,” Benny is as hurt as you are by it all, maybe more.

“Shut up Miller.” He’s glaring, filled with venomous satisfaction at how well the two of you have been talking.

“Cant you see it’s for the better?”

There’s silence – neither of them agree, too confused by him to respond.

“Don’t you ever wonder,” Santi tries again, knowing they’re listening because they love him too.

“No.” They spoke in unison, which makes Will roll his eyes. Neither of them hesitate, and something in Santi cracks.

-

You poke holes in the bottom of a styrofoam container with a plastic fork. She’s long gone now, but the date still lingers as you poke at your leftovers and try to unwind each moment of the date like strings of spaghetti.

On the surface it had gone well, you had thought you had fun until you felt a burn of tears under your eyelids.

Closing them you sigh, breathing like you practiced, gentle tides of love and logic washing over a feelings you tell yourself are selfish.

When you open your eyes, your Santi is standing behind her chair, and you almost cant breathe.

He went away for two weeks to help with a mission, and he’s here, one side of his mouth higher than the other. You want to kiss it, but you smile instead, and say, “You missed her by a couple minutes, sorry,” and actually mean it.

“I caught her in the parking lot,” he sits slowly, carefully, and when he reaches for your hands it’s almost tentative. It makes you blink again, how his eyebrows are bending. For the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t understand what it means, cant predict at all what he says next.

“I broke it off,” his eyes are in yours.

“I don’t understand,” you hear yourself say.

Santi searches for the words, like he had them but cant make them come out of his mouth.

“She’s not you,” he says. “I want you.”

You realize with a start that his hand is trembling, and he says your name in a way you’ve never heard before – like he’s terrified. That’s how badly he wants this, wants.. you. There’s no question in your mind, your eyes answer him.

It’s messy, not like a movie, the way he tugs you up and up and into his arms, the shudder of his broad shoulders and he buries himself into you as much as he can.

Like a hazy, blurry dream, your arms find their way around him, holding him like he’s fragile, another first.

He doesn’t say You’re enough for me, or You deserve the world, or anything dramatic.

Instead he says, “Can I buy you dinner?” And, “I’m sorry,” and “It’s been too long.”

And he says “I love you.”

-

He already asked the others, calling them each on his drive to you. Asked like he was young, if it was okay. Santi knew none of them had fallen in love with her, because even he hadn’t. But he had to ask for their permission as much as yours, to try to win you back.

They were more guarded than you, wary of his passion.

It takes time, and work.

He stays up later than he should talking with Benny about everything and nothing, hands nervously putting together snacks. When the younger man holds you, Santi teaches himself to join, to be held and hold you both. It feels good, which feels like guilt.

He works on that, too.

Frankie and him never talk about it. For weeks he thought his oldest friend had understood, more of less forgiven him without a word. One day they’re out for lunch, and his eyes flicker at the waitress, tucking her hair behind her ear. When he returns his gaze to the man across him, his blood runs cold. It’s been years since he’s seen furious determination brewing in Frankie’s dark, caring eyes, but it’s there now and he hates it. It takes discipline, to watch how he’s perceived as closely as he watched his intentions, but he does it.

It was easier than winning Will back.

“How long has your logic been shit?” Has your heart been in the wrong place this whole damn time?

“I just got on the wrong path, Ironhead.”

“Like hell you did,” his eyes were ice. “You let that happen.”

It would’ve been easier if he punched him. This wasn’t a kiss and make up moment either. The work ended up being long talks while you forced them to drive to pick you up when your car broke down the town over. Forcing words out being so honest it hurt, until has heart and throat felt raw. Making Will understand it was out of his own fears. Showing him how he was fixing it.

And weeks of letting with watch him again, eyes not missing a single touch or flinch or moment between you all. Actions to reinforce his words.

It hurt, but infinitely less than feeling distant from you all to begin with.

-

Will and your Catfish bring it up with you, one sunday afternoon as you tuck yourself between them and let their hands trace your skin.

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t know, Will. Better, I think. I missed him.”

Frankie places a row of warm kisses down the side of your neck.

“He missed you too. It’s Pope, he’s... he’s scared, love.”

“I don’t know if I believe that, yet.”

Ironhead grumbles at your confession, his big fingers squeezing the meat of your thigh.

“You gave him another chance, but you’re holding back. What does your gut say?”

“Unreliable - I’m in love with him.”

His head pops up and he kisses you before half-smiling. Frankie’s hand finds one of his, and they share a look.

“Can we tell you, querida? What we’ve seen.”

“Some objective evidence,” Will kisses you again.

“He loves us.” Another kiss. 

“You.”

-

It’s quiet as Santi flips through his latest files. The evening air is cool, and he should be getting ready for bed but you’re not home yet, and they’re all milling about waiting. You texted them how tired you were, what an awful evening you had.

“It should just be another couple of minutes,” Will says, and Frankie checks his watch. Ben wanders to the kitchen and they can hear him mixing hot chocolate.

When you walk through the front door, they fold you in their arms. Santi holds back, doubt still nagging at his mind. You let him back in, let him take you don't dates, but you didn’t fit together any more. He was running out of ways to communicate with you.

But you slump over, gently pushing aside his files and placing his laptop away before replacing it with yourself. Molding into him you sigh, and almost instantly fall asleep.

You’re small and vulnerable in his arms and the weight on his legs feels like trust.

The air in the room shifts, lighter, more breathable than it’s been in months. Adoring, proud eyes watch, and he wants to cry.

For the first time maybe ever, he’s sure that everything is going to be okay.

-

The bar was mercifully quite that evening, and if made it easy for you to find your love. A small, familiar feeling tugged in your gut as you made your way over to him, eyes on the waitress who was leaning over him with unwholesome intentions.

Then the feeling settled, and was replace with a warmer feeling. She was putting down a tray that had your order on it, and Santi was thanking her, distracted checking your message on his phone.

“Hey, handsome,” you said, the warm feeling spreading throughout your chest. “Can we actually get out of here?”

His brown eyes were big, dark lashes catching the low lights as he stared at you. Somewhere in his mind, he thought too protest because your drink just got there, but the words stuck on his tongue. 

“Yeah... yeah of course, baby,” He signaled for the check before standing to draw you in his arms. Saying no to you had never really been an option. 

The two of you barely made it to his truck before your hands were all over each other. You liked the feel of him, pinning you against the metal frame, the desperate way he kissed you.

Pope was saying something about how you looked so fucking sexy, needing him so badly you couldn’t wait. You couldn’t concentrate on them. 

“Pope,” you said against his skin, sliding your hands under his shirt. In response, he only made a soft groaning noise and increases his urgency.

"Santi," you tried again, before your own gasp cut you off.

"Santi - fuck - Santiago!"

The look he gave you was that of a dog, when you held the treat just out of reach.

"I'm yours," you said, pulling his head in to press against your forehead. "And you," you kissed him, hard, fingers gripping his beautiful curls. "Are mine."

"Fuck," you could feel his heartbeat, his pulse, he was pressing into you so hard, like he wanted to blur where he ended and you began. You knew he understood.

"I am," he said into your skin again and again that evening. Not selfish position, a promise and a proclamation: "I'm yours."

"I'm yours."

<<

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @pbeatriz

poly frontier taglist:

@grogusmum

[sweetcathedral]

🕸Haikyuu! — The Butterfly’s Ripple Effect🕸

Note: Currently a developing short story as I’m trying to figure out how to format it on tumblr, so that it’s easy to read (might take me a few months for the rough draft). The plot and ending is solidified, just need to piece together the scenes. Of course all Haikyuu characters are post-timeskip, it’s easier for me to write them as adults. It doesn’t make sense, but it will when I have the whole story down!

⚠️: blowjob, raw, forceful (?), cheating, giving in to temptation

The warmth of the sun gently wakes you up, making you flutter your lashes and wince at the brightness of the room. Memories of last night play back in your head as you pull the covers over you, but you look around to see that there was no sign of Kuroo. You hesitate to go back to sleep or look around the house to see if the others were okay from last night, since it wasn’t as loud as it should be.

“G’morning,” Kenma was leaning at the doorway with a cup of tea in his hand and a plate of omelettes in the other. “May I?”

You nodded, rubbing your eyes to fully wake you up.

“It smells nice. How are the others?”

“Oh, Kuroo’s driving them back to Sendai. The others wanted you to tag along on their road trip, but I told them that you’re probably jetlagged and needed the rest. They helped unload your stuff at the entranceway though,” he settled the tea and omelettes on the nightstand before pulling out a bed tray table from one of the drawers.

“I didn’t know you were the type to have breakfast in bed.”

“I’m not. A friend left it here last year, forgot about it and told me to keep it in the end. I just thought you’d like breakfast in bed today,” as Kenma was about to unfold the table, he paused in hesitation. It looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he lowered his head onto your lap. Thinking nothing of it, you run your fingers through his soft hair,

“Tired?”

“. . . I guess . . . I don’t know . . .”

You started humming the tune Kenma used to sing to you back then, when the two of you were still normal. The familiar feeling began to cloud your judgement, letting your fingers trace down the nape of Kenma’s neck. He immediately grabs your wrist, startling you from your trance.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he lifts his head.

“I—, sorry, I didn't mean—”

“Your food’s getting cold,” he changes the subject and continues to set up the bed table, arranging the tea and omelette. Before he was able to leave the bed, you reach for his hand,

“Kenma, wait . . .” the words you’ve always wanted to tell him is caught in your throat, “. . . I’m sor—!”

His hands clamp over your mouth as he gently kisses your forehead, softly dragging his cold fingers down to your throat. Unable to shake off the way it made you feel, he left you in silence.

After closing the door, Kenma briskly walked towards the bathroom, turned the faucet on and locked himself in. He leans against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor and pulled his hoodie completely over his head,

“. . . what am I doing? . . .” he sighs, pressing his head into his folded hands.

A moment later, the sound of your footsteps makes him jolt back up to turn the faucet off. He opens the door to see you standing there, knees clasped together.

“Don’t just stand there, move!” you push through him to get to the toilet and quickly kicked your panties off, landing at Kenma’s feet. “Phew, okay, you can leave now.”

Just as you finished cleaning yourself up, he picks up your wet stained panties.

“Hey! Give me those!” you tried grabbing them back from him, while covering yourself.

Fuck it. Kenma decided to cross the line he drew for himself. At this point it didn’t matter to him anymore, nothing mattered to him anymore. Everything that’s been holding him back has reached its limit, and he was more than ready to risk it all.

“What, it’s not like this is my first time seeing you naked.”

“Kuroo can walk in at any moment,” you argued back.

“He left two hours ago. It takes a total of eight hours driving to and from Sendai, plus the amount of stops he probably took to settle them down,” he quietly closes the door. “Which means I’ve about six hours to have you all to myself.”

The weight of Kenma’s words dawned on you. The sound of your heartbeat echoes in your ears, racing at the pace things were moving in. It’s only been a day since you got back, but Kenma had been displaying signs of temptation. You knew he was selfish, but you didn't know he can be this selfish—to the point of sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend. Maybe you should’ve set the boundaries right then and there when you and Kuroo told him about your relationship. But you’ve been sleeping around with Kenma for so long that you didn’t realize that these things weren’t normal for someone in a relationship. It wasn’t right at all, especially to Kuroo. It’s cheating, but—

“Don’t worry, it’ll just be between you and me. I promise,” Kenma cups your face so that your eyes meet with his and draws you into a kiss. You quickly pull away from him,

“Kenma, we can’t. You know we can’t, I’m dating Kuroo, and . . .this is cheating—”

“Only if we get caught,” his fingers trace up your thighs.

You grip his wrist with trembling hands.

“Kenma . . . please, I—I can only hold back so much,” your voice begins to break.

“Do you trust me?” he pauses, waiting for your reply.

With guilt, you shyly nodded.

“That’s my good girl,” he lifts you up onto the edge of the sink. Kissing you along your neck and collarbones.

“Not there, you’ll leave a mark,” you stop him.

“Right, . . . sorry,” he pouts. With how far you’ve already taken the situation, you decided to let go of all senses of your morals.

“Come here,” you reach for his face, pulling him back into a kiss. Shocked that you took the lead, but relieved, he places his hand on your wet spot. The feeling of his fingers brushing over your clit makes you throb inside.

“Look at how messy you’re getting and I haven’t even put my fingers in you yet,” he crosses his fingers. “I know you like it when I do this.”

The twisting motion inside you sends waves of pleasure throughout your body, making your toes curl. Hot breaths escape your wet lips, feeling yourself come closer to ecstasy. Before you could reach your climax, Kenma pulls his fingers out.

“No, no no,” you whined.

“What’s wrong?” he cocked his head, knowing damn well what he’s doing. “You know begging doesn’t work on me, you need to show that you want it.” He leans in closer to your blushing ear. “Now get on those pretty knees of yours.”

The glazed look in your eyes catches Kenma’s attention. A smirk tugs across his face, gently gripping your throat, embracing you into another wet kiss. His teeth softly grazes your bottom lip as he pulls away. Reluctantly, you get on your knees.

You work your tongue, stroking up and down his cock. “Fuck,” he grunts, giving you a sense of pride. Impatiently, you start to touch yourself to relieve that aching feeling,

“Ah, ah, ah,” Kenma pulls you by the hair to get you off his cock. He grabs both of your wrists and pins them over your head against the edge of the sink, preventing you from touching yourself. “I’m not gonna let you take that satisfaction away from me. Now open your mouth nice and wide, and stick your tongue out.”

Your hips squirm and tremble, doing as he says.

“Hrmph!” the impact of his cock thrusts to the back of your throat, his grip tightening around your wrists. Tears stream down your cheeks and saliva dribbles down your chin, taking in every thrust he gives you. You choke on his load, filling you so much that you can’t do anything but swallow.

“You think I’m done?” he pushes you to the floor and turns you over, pinning one leg to your chest. The glint in his eyes tells you how long he’s been waiting for this moment. A single, long, moment to put you in a sloppy daze. You can feel his thumb brushing over your slick folds before pressing it in. Although you’re already a soaking mess down there, he wants to make sure you're fully prepped before going in raw.

“Don’t forget, I have you all to myself for more than a few hours,” he says in your ear as he slowly penetrates you. The tip hits you in the right spot making your walls flutter. Only the sound of your panting and moaning escape your lips.

You forgot how rough Kenma gets when his stress builds up and he has nowhere to vent it off on, but that privilege was taken away from him when you and Kuroo started your relationship. Admittedly, you miss Kenma from before he knew about your relationship with his best friend. You didn’t know how he truly felt about it and didn’t want to ask. You avoided wanting to ask ‘cause you’re scared about knowing how he really feels. The day you confronted him about it was also when he started to become distant and detached from you. 

Slowly, your mind enters a daze, getting lost in the comfort you find from his guilty pleasure.

[jimmysea]

i'm not even watching but i know that not everything is black and white and it's so important to understand the context and nuances before you make your judgement but i guess some people lack critical thinking and prefer coming in on anon trying to police how people consume their media (also what is the point of sending such a hateful and condescending ask if it's not just to act like they're morally superior)

Justine exactly! I am not forcing anyone to enjoy this drama or anything. if it’s not your cup of tea just not watch it or waste time and energy commenting on it, just blacklist the tag and move on with your life. I see no point in people coming into my ask box and try to lecturing me over the drama I am watching especially when they don’t know shit about it??? This is so tiring oof. I mean spend that kind of energy in commenting the shows you’re invested in and you’re currently enjoying watching don’t act like a shithead and go into people ask box just to act like you’re morally superior because I am watching that drama and in your opinion - missed the point where I asked about it smh- people shouldn’t watch and support the show. this kind of behaviour pisses me off so much!

[pandorem]

I really really wish that more writers on ao3 would tag their reader-insert fic with “reader-insert” instead of just tagging reader as part of a pairing. I have absolutely no moral or quality judgement against reader-insert fics. I find it fantastic that people can write something that they and their readers enjoy. I am all for self indulgent fiction. But I have no interest in it in the same way someone may have zero interest in fantasy, sci fi, or romance as genres. And it is not the most fun thing having to filter out reader insert fics by each individual pairing tag.

And it’s not like I can use the ao3 blocker and just put in *reader, to block out any tag that mentions the word reader at all, because I love podfic and a lot of those have tags referring to the reader of the podfic. And even the time I did try that, there were always fic that slipped through, tagging with “you” or “y/n” instead.

Again. I have nothing against reader insert fics. I hope you all are having fun! But I am giving a sincere thank you to the writers who do tag them with a simple and universal “reader-insert” so that I can easily filter out things that are just not my cup of tea.

And you know what? Tagging like that helps people who DO want to read find your fic! So if they are into reader-inserts but maybe have multiple characters that they like and would enjoy reader-inserts with, they also don’t have to filter pairing by pairing. Tags are there to help people who are interested find your fic, and to help people who are uninterested filter them out. It’s most fun for everyone when you put them to use.

[vajranam]

Cup Of Tea

What Tea Can Teach You

There was a Japanese Zen master named Nan-in who lived during the Meiji era (1868-1912). During his days as a teacher, he was visited by a university professor curious about Zen.

Being polite, Nan-in served the professor a cup of tea.

As he poured, the professor’s cup became full, but Nan-in kept on pouring. As the professor watched the cup overflow, he could no longer contain himself and said, “It is overfull. No more will go in!”

Nan-in turned to the professor and said, “Like the cup, you are too full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

The Beginning :

first things first I am Ngakpa Konchok Dorje Tsondon, this blog had several life’s because sometimes the provider played update tricks sometimes was myself who wanted different things.

I am a yogi from the Drikung Kagyu Lineage but my roots of Buddha Dharma are from Karma Kagyu, Nigmapas, Gulugpas and Shaigon, Zen I had lot of different teachers, because my view was build on Jagung Kuntrul Rinpoche teaching and Kalu Rinpoche teaching “Rimey”. After lot of chaos and tones of challenges one day I found Garchen Rinpoche who became my vajra master.

Let have a cup of tea

I heard that a lot why do you teach? My answers are on my Ngakpa vows there is some point about that but my real answer is Bodhicitta that why I teach, I am just an insect compare to the big Rinpoche but if one of my text help one being I rejoice in it.

Attitude To Dharma

The Buddha teach about the three pots, this teaching is extremely important because learn us the right view we need to take. The Tea teaching is another one why is before all of the teachings. Well not just because I love Koan and I love do Koan but more because today we are all full as a cup of tea.

Recently I heard something on the radio about a scientific who been to India talked with the Swamies and Lamas. He was surprised about the full effect of meditation but he forgot one thing to empty is a cup.

Like that scientist, we all come with a massive cup full of judgement, views, information and mostly let’s call it massive ego.

When I touch the holy land of India I had a simple question in my head how to stop suffering but even with that, I had to learn to empty my cup because not doing it will be like asking the Dalai Lama for help and not take any of his advice.

Dharma whatever dharma you take isn’t like going to church and eat kinda truth and everyone happy, whatever you take Vedic, Buddha or Sikh dharma be ready for the ride. That means dharma is base on experience a teacher will show you the way but you got to do 100% of the efforts to get there.

No one will save you from your “mistakes” Christian call that sin we call that non virtue, non virtues are like putting a mine in road that you drive and forgot about it. The problem when the mine gonna to explode that when the problem start.

The right attitude to dharma well whatever level we are we always learn, new ways there for we should develop the student attitude. Keep mind open and keep humble.

50 Verses of Guru Devotion

Composed by Ashvagosha

L1. Bowing in the proper way to the lotus feet of my Guru, who is the cause for me to attain the state of a glorious Vajrasattva, I shall condense and explain in brief what has been said in many stainless tantric texts about Guru-devotion. (Therefore) listen with respect.

2. All the Buddhas of the past, present and future, residing in every land in the ten directions, have paid homage to the Tantric Masters from whom they have received the highest initiations. (Is there need to mention that you should too?)

3. Three times each day, with supreme faith, you must show your respect to your Guru who teaches you (the tantric path), by pressing your palms together, offering a mandala as well as flowers and prostrating (touching) your head to his feet.

4. Those who hold ordination vows, if (your Guru) is a layman or your junior, prostrate (in public) while facing such things as his scriptural texts in order to avoid worldly scorn. But in your mind (prostrate to your Guru).

5. As for serving (your Guru) and showing him respect, such as obeying what he says, standing up (when he comes) and showing him to his seat — these should be done even by those with ordination vows (whose Gurus are laymen or their juniors). But (in public), avoid prostrating and unorthodox actions (such as washing his feet).

6. In order for the words of honour of neither the Guru nor the disciple to degenerate, there must be a mutual examination beforehand (to determine if each can) brave a Guru-disciple relationship.

7. A disciple with sense should not accept as his Guru someone who lacks compassion or who is angersome, vicious or arrogant, possessive, undisciplined or boasts of his knowledge.

8. (A Guru should be) stable (in his actions), cultivated (in his speech), wise, patient and honest. He should neither conceal his shortcomings, nor pretend to possess qualities he lacks. He should be an expert in the meanings (of tantra) and in its ritual procedures (of medicine and turning back obstacles). Also he should have loving compassion and a complete knowledge of the scriptures.

9. He should have full experience in all ten fields, skill in the drawing of mandalas, full knowledge of how to explain the tantras, supreme faith and his senses fully under control.

10. Having become the disciple of such a protecting (Guru), should you then despise him from your heart, you will reap continual suffering as if you had disparaged all the Buddhas.

11. If you are so foolish as to despise your Guru, you will contract contagious diseases and those caused by harmful spirits. You will die (a horrible death) caused by demons, plagues or poison.

12. You will be killed by (wicked) kings or fire, by poisonous snakes, water, witches or bandits, by harmful spirits or savages, and then be reborn in a hell.

13. Never disturb you Guru’s mind. Should you be foolish and happen to do this, you will surely boil in hell.

14. Whatever fearful hells have been taught, such as Avici, the Hell of Uninterrupted pain, it is clearly explained that those who disparage their Gurus will have to remain there (a very long time).

15. Therefore, exert yourself wholeheartedly never to belittle your Tantric Master who makes no display of his great wisdom and virtues.

16. (If from a lack of awareness you have shown disrespect) to your Guru, reverently present an offering to him and seek his forgiveness. Then in the future such harms and plagues will not befall you.

17. It has been taught that for the Guru to whom you have pledged your word of honour (to visualize as one with your meditational deity), you should willingly sacrifice your wife, children and even your life, although these are not (easy) to give away. Is there need to mention your fleeting weath?

18. (Such practice of offering) can confer even Buddhahood on a zealous (disciple) in his very lifetime, which otherwise might be difficult to attain even in countless millions of eons.

19. Always keep your word of honour. Always make offerings to the Enlightened Ones. Always make offerings also to your Guru, for he is the same as all the Buddhas.

20. Those who wish (to attain) the inexhaustible (state of a Buddha’s Wisdom Body) should give to their Guru whatever they themselves find pleasing, from the most trifling objects to those of best quality.

21. Giving (to your Guru) is the same as making continual offerings to all the Buddhas. From such giving, much merit is gathered. From such collection comes the supreme powerful attainment (of Buddhahood).

22. Therefore, a disciple with the good qualities of compassion, generosity, moral self-control and patience should never regard his Guru and the Buddha Vajradhara as different.

23. If you should never tread even on (your Guru’s) shadow, because the fearsome consequences are the same as destroying a stupa, is there need to mention never stepping on or over his shoes or seat, (sitting in his place or riding) his mount?

24. (A disciple) having great sense should obey the words of his Guru joyfully and with enthusiasm. If you lack the knowledge or ability (to do what he says), explain in (polite) words why you cannot (comply).

25. It is from your Guru that powerful attainments, higher rebirth and happiness come. Therefore, make a wholehearted effort never to transgress your Guru’s advice.

26. (Guard) your Guru’s belongings as you would your own life. Treat even your Guru’s beloved (family) with the same (respect you show for him). (Have affectionate regard for) those closely around him as if they were your own dearest kin. Single-mindedly think (in this way) at all times.

27. Never sit on the (same) bed or seat (as your Guru), nor walk ahead of him. (At teachings do not) wear your hair in a top-knot, (a hat, shoes or any weapons). Never touch a seat (before he sits down), or if he happens to sits on the ground. Do not place your hands (proudly) on your hips or wring them (before him).

28. Never sit or recline while your Guru is standing (nor lie while he is sitting). Always be ready to stand up and serve him skillfully in an excellent manner.

29. In the presence of your Guru, never do such things as spit, (cough or sneeze without covering your mouth). Never stretch out your legs when at your seat, nor walk back and forth (without reason before him), and never argue.

30. Never massage or rub your limbs. Do not sing, dance or play musical instruments (for other than religious purposes). And never chatter idly or speak in excess (or too loudly) within the range of (your Guru’s) hearing.

31. (When your Guru enters the room) get up from your seat and bow your head slightly. Sit (in his presence) respectfully. At night, at rivers or on dangerous paths, with (your Guru’s) permission, you may walk before him.

32. In the direct sight of his Guru, (a disciple) with sense should not (sit) with his body twisted around, nor lean (casually) against pillars and such. Never crack your knuckles, (play with your fingers or clean your nails).

33. When washing (your Guru’s) feet or his body, drying, massaging (or shaving) him, precede such actions with (three) prostrations and at their conclusion do the same. Then attend (to yourself) as much as you like.

34. Should you need to address (your Guru) by his name, add the title “Your Presence” after it. To generate respect for him in others, further honorifics may also be used.

35. When asking for your Guru’s advice, first announce why you have come. With palms pressed together at your heart, listen to what he tells you, without (letting your mind) wander about. Then (when he has spoken), you should reply, “I shall do exactly as you have said.”

36. After doing (what your Guru has told you), report (what has happened) in polite, gentle words. Should you yawn or cough, (clear your throat or laugh in his presence), cover your mouth with your hand.

37. If you wish to receive a certain teaching, request three times with your palms pressed together, while before him on your (right) knee. (Then at his discourse), sit humbly and with respect, wearing appropriate clothing that is neat (and clean, without ornaments, jewelry or cosmetics).

38. Whatever you do to serve (your Guru) or show him respect, should never be done with an arrogant mind. Instead you should be like a newlywed bride, timid, bashful and very subdued.

39. In the presence of (the Guru) who teaches you (the Path), stop acting in a conceited, coquettish manner. As for boasting to others what you have done (for your Guru), examine (your conscience) and discard all such acts.

40. If you are (requested) to perform a consecration, (an initiation into) a mandala, a fire puja or to gather disciples and deliver a discourse, you may not do so if your Guru resides in that area, unless you receive his prior permission.

41. Whatever offerings you receive from performing such rites as (the consecration known as) “Opening the Eyes”, you should present all these to your Guru. Once he has taken a token portion, you may use the rest for whatever you like.

42. In the presence of his Guru, a disciple should not act (as a Guru) to his own disciples and they should not act towards him as their Guru. Therefore (before your own Guru), stop (your disciples) from showing you respect such as rising (when you come) and making prostrations.

43. Whenever you make an offering to your Guru, or whenever your Guru presents you with something, a disciple with sense will (present and) receive this, using both hands and with his head slightly bent.

44. Be diligent in all your actions, (alert and) mindful never to forget (your word of honour). If fellow disciples transgress (what is proper) in their behaviour, correct each other in a friendly manner.

45. If because of sickness you are physically (unable) to bow to your Guru and must do what normally would be prohibited, even without (his explicit) permission, there will be no unfortunate consequences if you have a virtuous mind.

46. What need is there to say much more. Do whatever pleases your Guru and avoid doing anything he would not like. Be diligent in both of these.

47. “Powerful attainments follow from (doing what) your Guru (likes).” This has been said by (the Buddha) Vajradhara himself. Knowing this, try to please your Guru fully with all the actions (of your body, speech and mind).

48. After a disciple has taken refuge in the Triple Gem and developed a pure (Enlightened) motive, he should be given this (text) to take to his heart (how to abandon his own arrogant self-will and) follow in his Guru’s footsteps (along the Graded Path to Enlightenment).

49. (By studying the prerequisite trainings of Guru-devotion and the Graded Path, common to both the Sutra and Tantra,) you will become a (suitable) vessel (to hold) the pure Dharma. You may then be given such teachings as Tantra. (After receiving the proper initiations,) recite out loud the fourteen root vows and take them sincerely to your heart.

50. As I have not made the mistake (of adding my personal interpretation) when writing this work, may this be of infinite benefit to all disciples who would follow their Guru. By the limitless merit I have gathered in this way, may all sentient beings quickly attain Buddhahood

[writingandmore]

Hi!!! May I get a HP, Star Wars, Voltron, and Disney matchup?

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, muggleborn Ravenclaw (with Gryffindor tendencies), and my patronus spirit is Hummingbird. Biromantic Pansexual Genderfluid woman using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. Cherubic-like face, with short height (5'1") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has chic messy/wavy brunette medium hair that reaches to my shoulder, oriental skin, slightly upturned eyes, small lashes, chocolate brown irises, cute flat nose, heart shaped face, full cheeks, cupid's bow lips, a small beauty mark on the forehead, and naturally straight teeth with tiny gap in front (just imagine that it's a mixture of Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲---cause' my friend told me that I kinda look like them). My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam, I sometimes let my hair down or styled like Lara Croft reboot.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant, quiet, and timid at first making people thought I'm a demure, modest, and self-effacing that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind" (due to my protective mom, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis---like my happiness is too shallow, super talkative, eats a lot (yeah I can finish a huge slice of cake or a meal in one sitting), awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY CLUMSY (mostly gets bruises from hitting, bumping my head somewhere, walking into something on my way, and being careless to my belongings), secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, eager to share what I know (especially about Catholic Church---my past teacher joked that I'll become a saint because of it 🤣), oftenly speaks full of sarcasm with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no.1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself but can be awkward to strangers. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

The extent, I'm expressive, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, laid-back, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic that cries so easily (but will enlightened real quick by smallest things that makes me smile) filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone because they might get dissappointed from expectations---I simply can't stop proving myself too much because I'm a survivor of bullying. But I still managed to be stronger than ever after I stumbled, even it's a slow burn process. I can be blunt, intimidating, harsh, and a douchebag if I receive ends or I got interrupted while doing something. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, forgetful, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic youth, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams and what's important to me) and what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Rowdy and feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will call out on people that we loathe, will make fun of your stupidity (in a good way) before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic and cheeky (makes banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment, but gets annoyed if I received sappy or offensive one), Still generous and concerned person in a subtle and different way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, milk tea, singing at the karaoke, cartoons, iced coffee, memes, cute things, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, poetry, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or being rude to me, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family (it sucks that some people I knew assumed that the reason why I'm overly unaware that someone is interested in me in secret, is I have "high standards" looking for a partner, but the truth is I'm strict and I have a personal preferences...I know my worth and I don't want settle for less!) and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some, sounds too hypocritical, like as if you're a morally good person.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 + 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦

My love languages are quality time and gift giving, but I actually swoon over physical touch (especially cuddles and cute kisses) and words of affirmation when it comes to having a partner, though I get attracted so easily, matured but can be a goofy person who's nice, friendly, kind-hearted, loving, faithful, and excels in academics is my cup of tea. Whenever I have a real life crush (which is rare), I act the same but deep inside, my heart is about to explode and will eventually share to my trustful friends how I highly admire that person, however if they spilled the beans out, I'll obviously deny it and will cry if they like someone else, it will take some time for me to move on, now I don't care for them anymore.

Best Friends to Lovers is my ideal trope because I find it very cute since you already knew each other before dating (which happened to my 2nd cousin, she married her best friend!)---perfect balance for romance, laughters, comfort, and tears when it comes to sharing your vibes, being there through thick and thin, safe with embraces, and helping each other to grow.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗦

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, oratorical skills and I have potential in hosting...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, speaker, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader).

May sounds different but I'm passionate for helping people through my talents and sharing my story to inspire everyone. I may look selfish, but I have a different way on how I show that I actually care also I have a biased sentimental value

Currently a college freshman, learning how to cook. I have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

HP: Remus!

- Remus is also quiet and a bit reserved when he's not in a familiar situation, so your own first impression on him would be a good one, as you'd seem similar to his own personality. He's sweet and is able to start up a conversation if he notices the other person is having a hard time doing so, so hopefully he'd be able to bring out your more extroverted and friendly self after a while so he can be around the more open you. He wouldn't mind you being a bit awkward-he's very much the same way-honestly, the comradery that would come from that would be more positive than anything else. He loves sharing knowledge and learning about new things, so your eagerness to talk about what you know would work really well also! He does a lot better when he knows someone has his back too, so your extra supportive nature would endear him to you as well.

SW: Han!

- Your nicer and more helpful personality would balance out Han's more standoffish vibes when first meeting. You might get on his nerves a bit first, but you'd quickly grown on him and, in turn, make him a bit of a better person. Your ability to be blunt and a bit harsh would serve you well if you ever needed to stand your ground on an issue that two of you have, as he can be quite stubborn.

VLD: Lance!

- Lance can be a bit immature from time to time as well, especially when it comes to trying to be funny or cheering up those around him-he's also headstrong and typically firm in what he wants to do, so your own determined personality would attract him to you a lot as well. He often puts off things he needs to do if they make him anxious too, but if you both recognize that you share that problem, helping each other might be a good solution!

Disney: Flynn!

- Flynn is quite a sarcastic and teasing person, so your own humor would match well with his. He's also quite a hopeless romantic as well, even though he's certainly not one to admit that right off the bat. He enjoys singing, and as he gets closer to someone he feels more comfortable doing so in front of them, so a partner he's been with for a long time would get to see him be more and more open with it. That also applies to activities like dancing.

[aspicystrum]

Embarrassingly, last night I wrote an exceedingly long and sickeningly heartfelt email to some Netflix people (executives? Idk) based on advice from #saveteenagebountyhunters. It felt important, so I decided to share.

Hi there, friend. 

I don't usually do this, because writing in to a studio about a show that you just watched seems a bit over the top, and potentially just a drop of salt water in a river that somebody has already built a bridge to get over. 

However, on the off chance that this email might make a difference, I just want to say that it would be really, really, super-mega-cool if you guys changed your minds about renewing Teenage Bounty Hunters for another season. I finally got around to watching it this week, and I want to firstly, congratulate you for such a stellar piece of work, and secondly, implore you not to leave it unfinished. Not only is it fantastic and hilarious, but I also think it's kind of important, and I'm going to apologise in advance for the length of time I'm going to spend on telling you why. 

I'm definitely not a teenager anymore, but I was definitely a young christian questioning her sexuality when I was a teenager, and there was just nothing remotely like this on TV at that time. If there had been, I think it might have been a bit easier for me to figure myself out. Much easier, even. I dislike clichés, so I don't like that I'm basically saying the same thing that most queer people over 30 are saying about new media featuring queer representation, but the thing is, there's a reason that we're saying it. And Tropes Aren't Bad. The only thing that was around when I was growing up that had any gay women in it was porn and the L Word. Buffy too I guess, but I never got into it when it was airing (I'm not even sure if I'd have been allowed to watch it, to be frank) and later on, I wasn't interested in the drama and heartbreak. And of course, because I was a young christian, I thought porn was bad (I mean, it's terrible if you're looking for accurate romantic representation, but it's certainly not morally wrong like I thought it was) and because I don't live in the US, I never came across the L Word until I managed to pirate it in university. And while the L Word was massive and so important for representation and visibility... Honestly, I never really liked it. I didn't relate to a bunch of lesbians having sex and being bitchy in LA.

But Teenage Bounty Hunters? Shit. That would have been young Alex's obsession. Or lifeline. Cup of tea. Addiction. Breath of air while feeling like I was drowning? I don't know. Pick one. All of the above. I grew up going to an Anglican, semi-private high school. So while lesbianism wasn't wrong per se; (God still loved the gays - they weren't wrong for loving who they did) it definitely had to be wrong for me. Because it also sure as hell wasn't good. It was definitely no path to happiness. Lesbian was an insult that you used against girls you didn't like on the opposing soccer team. It wasn't until I went on exchange to France when I was 17 that I met girls who were out and proudly, wonderfully, sweetly dating. It's not even like it was illegal or anything, or that the LGBT+ community weren't tirelessly working to be visible and represented. I live in New Zealand. Generally, we're a pretty open, progressive, liberal country. I like to think that most of the time kiwis make pretty sensible decisions in terms of governance (though, believe me, there's always room for improvement). But, there's a difference between what's allowed, and what's socially acceptable. Especially in high school. Especially when you bring religion into the conversation. Or politics. It just wasn't done. Even in public school, you'd be asking to be an outsider. 

So I can't satisfactorily express how incredible it was for me to experience the relationship and character arcs of April and Sterling. A couple of staunchly christian girls, falling in love and unashamed of that. Albeit fucking scared. Their storyline resonated with my queer little soul. I was Chapel Prefect in my final year at school. I was an overachiever like April, and I had no idea how potentially gay I was, like Sterling. I wanted to kiss boys and sort of ignored all the crushes I had on the girls I went to school with. I wanted to be a good student and above all, a good person. I believed in a god. In fact, I wanted to believe in a purpose for existence and God so badly, that I chose to continue to believe, even while I wanted to kill myself in my first and second year of university because I felt like I was a bad student and a bad person. I still believe and it still keeps me alive from time to time.

All this is a very dramatic and unfortunately slightly sad way to say that you've got something incredibly special in Teenage Bounty Hunters. And that's just from one perspective. There's so much else that the show brings to the table. So much that it has the potential to. I could talk about racism, or adoption, or classism, or so many other things that I don't really feel I have the experience or understanding to give voice to, and do them justice, but you get the picture. 

Finally, I just want to say, I think I got my first recommendation for this show after you'd actually officially cancelled it. And it wasn't from your algorithm, it was from a male co-worker. Somebody I wouldn't have expected to recommend something like this show. Both based on judgements from before and after watching it. And I'm not going to lie, I heavily judged the title when I heard him talk about it, because I thought it sounded pretty frivolous and mindless. But certainly after searching for the show (I'm kind of shocked it was never recommended to me actually), and watching the trailer, I was immediately interested, because it's fucking hilarious. Now, after watching it I'm curious to know what he liked about the show too. So if your algorithm is designed to target viewers you think might be in a show's intended demographic, I feel like it needs tweaking. Also, I feel like you need to give more than two months grace-time for a show after releasing it, before you decide to cancel it. It's kind of tragic finding out about and deciding watching a show even though you know it's cancelled and then having your suspicions confirmed about you loving it. Very Fox and Firefly. Congrats, I guess? 

Anyway, I do genuinely want to say thank you for the work that you do and the joy that you've brought me and others through Netflix. I do hope the decision does get reversed, but it is a small hope.

If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading all of this. You're clearly a generous person with your time. 

Sincerely, 

Alex

[seijorhi]

I know you probably want to forget about what that anon said because a creators content is something personal to them, apart of them. Someone degrading and smushing it like a bug when they VERY CLEARLY went out of their way to not only look for dc content but to read yours so they can go and talk shit. You don’t deserve that Rhi ); you’re such a great creator and you’re so v kind to your bbs <3 anyways there’s nothing wrong with your content and I absolutely adore it. I’ve binged your stuff in days and I never get sick of it, thank you and I hope you continue with a healthy mindset, full stomach, and motivation <333 🧃

thank you so much, bby, i really appreciate it 💕💕💕it’s frustrating more than anything, because the arguments are the same old shit just rehashed. and i do understand that there are people who’ve been abused who would be triggered and/or disturbed by my fics and the content i write, and that’s totally fine. it’s valid if you’re a victim (or anyone really) who wants to steer as far away from content like mine as possible. i’m not trying to shove my writing down people’s faces - it’s why all the content warnings are there, why i don’t put it under the main fandom tags. i don’t want people who’d be upset by my writing finding it and getting upset. 

but invalidating people’s trauma by telling them how they can and can’t cope and looking down at dc creators from their moral high horses and calling them names and harassing them is just disgusting. also trying to get people to justify why they like dark content by making them prove they’ve been traumatised is sickening? it’s okay to be curious and to have a kink without having to dredge up any awful thing that’s happened to you to pass the moral police's judgement - it’s ridiculous and hurtful.

like if it’s not your cup of tea, cool i don’t really care, but do the mature thing, block the tags, block me and move right along. i’ve never tried to hide what my blog was about (literally in the name). i meant what i said that they can send me whatever they like and it won’t stop me from posting and creating, but man is it fucking tiring to deal with - to the point where i get a little anxious every time i see an ask notification just in case it’s more hate?

i’d turn off my asks (or at least anons) but i know a lot of you guys use that to talk w me and stuff and i don’t want to do that unless i have to :(