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ssnakey-b · 1 year ago

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FF8 English-French translarison, part 25: Four years later

Well, it only took four years but the translarison is back, baby! I told you I didn’t give up on it. That said, looking back, I found it amazing that some people seemed to follow it closely and get genuinely excited for new updates, and I have to admit I feel a bit bad to have disappointed these people. So to all those who have been following the Translarison from the start and were saddened to see it gone, I offer my apologies. If you’re still around and still excited for it, you’re real ones. Now, on the off chance that some of you stumbled upon this post with no idea what I’m on about, hi. I’m Ssnakey-B (fun fact: it’s short for SsnakeBite!), a French native and Final Fantasy VIII-obsessed weirdo. So, just a... short while ago... I decided to bring these two things together and start a playthrough of FFVIII where I would compare the English and French translations of the game, partly because I’m a bit mental, but mostly because I noticed quite a few differences between the two that I feel give a different view of the characters and various moments in the game, which i think highlight the importance of translation in how audiences perceive a work. So you see, it’s a translation comparison; a translarison, if you will. I also take the opportunity to analyze and comment on various moments from the game. Oh! And I go through this assuming people are already familiar with the game, so beware of spoilers. And whether you’re an OG or a newcomer, if you need to catch up, why not check this convenient list of links to every part published so far that I put together? Anyway, time to finally get back into it. Last time, we finished the CD 2 content with the second and final battle against Edea, putting an end to the Battle of the Gardens. And so, we return to find Squall moping in bed, because that’s what he does when faced with stressful situations, which is a mood and a half.

“So it’s all over, then.”

French Squall, no!! We literally just returned! Now’s not the time to give up!

Okay, joking aside, we do have quite a bit of difference right off the bat, as in English, his inner monologue goes as such:

(is it over...?)

(What happened...?)

(Rinoa......)

(What happened to Rinoa......?)

Whereas in French, it goes like this:

(So it’s all over, then)

(When it comes to Edea, at least...)

(But... for Linoa?)

(This story has only just begun!)

So yeah, very different tone I would say, with the French version sounding more determined, less confused. I’ll leave you to decide which one is more fitting given the circumstances. I think an argument can be made for both, depending on whether you believe it’s understandable for someone in his situation to be lost and confused, or if this lighting a fire under him reflects his character development.

Also, not entirely sure why the English version is going so crazy with the ellipses......

After a quick visit to the infirmary, Squall is told by Quistis over the intercom to visit Edea as she is back at the orphanage. Since we get to visit Balamb Garden again, let’s take the opportunity to check on the various NPCs before that, shall we?

First, we’ve gota small difference with this kid who runs around the hall all the time. In English, he says “Come on! ... Take the pain! One more!” whereas in French, he says “I want to beat my endurance record!”. So in both versions, we get that he’s training hard, but we have a slightly different take on it.

Next, we have he cafeteria ladies, the unsung heroines of Balamb Garden. The one on our left mentions students being obsessed with their weight in both versions but interestingly, the English one says a bit more, joking about how “They won’t be able to get a tummy like mine! Ahahahahaha!” which is absent from the French version entirely. Speaking of, the French cafeteria lady doesn’t just say that students are concerned about dieting but that she thinks they’re “more obsessed by calories than their exam”. MA’ AM.

THEY JUST FOUGHT AN ACTUAL BATTLE AGAINST AN ACTUAL ARMY.

THERE WERE HOCKEY MONSTERS.

I think that deserves SOME credit towards their graduation.

Anyway, that’s about it for differences with them although do keep in mind, in the French version, they’re all out of pretzels, not hot-dogs. This is a crucial difference.

We’re not done with the cafeteria, however, as we get to this group, which I’m sure some of you have been looking forward to. And really, it IS interesting since you can’t directly translate the ifnamous “SaaD” pun (which i assume wasn’t in the original Japanese anyway). So how does it go? Well, shorter, mostly. Check it out.

First, here’s the English version:

“I must say, we’re pretty tough.”

“Word... I thought it was the end for me when we had that fight with the other Garden.”

“We’ve accomplished quite a feat. The fighting inside Garden, the battle with the other Garden... That wasn’t training. It was the real thing!”

“YEAH! There were lots of casualties from both sides, but we’re still alive!”

“YEAH! YEAH! We can DO IT!”

“But... We still aren’t SeeDs...”

“...So, we end up complainin’... SaaaaaaD...”

“SaaaaaaD...”

“Sometimes, I actuallly enjoy complaining... SaaaaaaD...”

And now, the French take on it:

We were brave on this one.

I thought we were going to die for sure!

There is a big difference between classes and a real battle.

Yeah! We managed to make it out alive!

We’re not that bad, after all!

But we’re still not Seeds...

That’s true. What a catastrophe...

How sad.

We truly are pitiful.

Again, you’d think being part of an actual battle would at least earn them some credits. I gues sit still wasn’t enough for them to pass already. Either that or the pun from the English team caused them to have some points docked.

You’re probably wondering if there’s anything interesting in what the Quistis simp Trepie ins aying. The answer to that is not really, although he doesn’t call her “sinful” because it’s somehow her fualt he isn’t getting any sleep.

There isn’t much difference in the dialogue between these girls (in fact, it’s surprising how closesly it matches) but I did want to bring it up because it just occured to me that they are likely talking about Linoa, and I think it says a lot about her that in her short time in Balamb Garden, she apparently managed to make friends with some people to the point they want to go visit her in the infirmary.

I suppose it IS possible that they’re talking about an unrelated friend who could’ve gotten injured during the battle of the Gardens and there are more beds that we don’t get to see (it would be weird if there was aonly one) but at the same time, there’s no indication of that in either version of the dialogue. Although with that said, I did notice that there’s usually a group of three girls chatting around and here there’s only two of them, so who knows?

There are a couple interesting things here. The dialogue with Zell is almost identical (also, always found it weird that he’s sometimes in his civlian clothes and sometimes in his cadet uniform in this bit. What a weird thing to put extra work towards), but this little girl’s lines couldn’t be more different. In the English version, she wants reassurance, asking “Is the scary stuff over? It’s over, right?”. But in French, she says “So the warm-up is over? I was just starting to have fun.”

So not only did this little girl apparently take part in the fighting in the French version (which contradicts Squall’s orders, BTW), she’s clearly developed an insatiable thirst for battle that can only be shortly quenched by the blood of her enemies. Terrifying and also great potential for a sequel. Just sayin’, Square-Enix.

We also have a slight difference in tone with this guy. In English, he sounds still shaken yet thrilled by the battle, going “I...I fought too. And...and, victory was mine!!!” while in French, he’s much collected, going “I fought too. And I suffered no injury!”

Next, we head to the library. This student explains that it is taking request for new books and weirdly, the line in the screenshot above is not in the French version. Another weird change is that he then says that he is “all for fiction” whereas in French, he says that he prefers news. The girl also says in English that she wants mystery novels and in French, she says she wants crime thrillers/whodunits and nothing else.

I guess mystery and crime novels aren’t mutually exclusive, but I feel like “mystery” is a much broader category, so that’s the kind of detail that once again hints at the translations being done independently rather than based on one-another.

Next we have these two and this one is very interesting. First, in English, the girl on the left asks “So I guess we won?” but in French, what she says is more along the lines of “So I take it we won?” which is really weird because it makes it sound like she wasn’t there and doesn’t know what happened.

But more importantly, the one on the right replies with the above line, which is excellent, but in French, it becomes “You never really know who wins... But yes, I think we did.”

Yeah, the French version dropped the ball on that one IMO.

And finally there’s this bizzarely rare NPC who I don’t think i’ve ever seen before and had to go back and forth multiple times to get to appear after switching to French. She’s sad in both versions but not quite as much in French, where she just laments “oh, this is all so sad” rather than outright crying like here.

I believe that’s it for the first floor, let’s get to the second and meet Selphie! There’s an interesting little difference as she specifically says that the Garden’s BBS is fun, whereas in French, she calls it the “network”, even using the English term, which is surprising considering for once, it’s not a anglicism that we use in this context, really.

You may also have noticed that she’s wearing her cadet uniform, well she adresses that and interestingly, in both versions she calls them “regular” uniforms which might imply it’s not actually a cadet-specific uniform? Squall does keep it in his room even after graduating, so I guess that makes sense. But what’s really interesting here is that in English, she says those are nice for a change as you stop wearing them once you become a SeeD.

So I guess those ARE cadet uniforms but wait, she’s wearing right now so clearly they don’t stop wearing them and I’m way overthinking this, aren’t I? What I meant to talk about is that in French, she kind of has the opposite stance saying that while these uniforms are pretty neat, she prefers the SeeD ones (and she doesn’t mention anything about no longer wearing them).

Quick stop by this guy to mention that he only breakes the fourth wall in the English version, which is surprising considering so far, the French one has been the one to have some fourth-wall breaking jokes.

There’s no real difference here (other than the English version sounding more excited due to a liberal use of exclamation marks) but I did want to point out that this is the only NPC so far to acknowledge Squall as his boss.

And that wraps all of the interesting bits I could find within Balamb Garden. Time to get to the orphanage! And here we have another example of how nearly identical phrases can have a different vibe in different languages. Here, in English, Quistis says “...I feel uncomfortable seeing her” while in French, she says “I am not very comfortable at the idea of seeing her again”.

Now maybe it’s just me, but I feel like the English take on it makes it feel more like Quistis is uncomfortable seeing Edea at all, as if her very sight made her uncomfortable, whereas the French one feels more like she’s talking specifically about hos strange it feels to go visit her after they nearly killed one-another. Small, but crucial differences.

The difference between Irvine’s lines is much more pronounced. In English, he says “There’s so much we want to ask the Matron” and in French, he says “It’s weird to go see someone we fought” (which of course mirrors Quistis’ feelings).

Since the characters not in your team are standing in this area, we’ve got different lines depending on what your party is, so let’s quickly go over them. In English, Selphie says “I’ll go after you, Squall. Ok, ok?” and in French, she says “You speak first, OK?”.

Now that’s a very interesting one because I feel like the French version makes Selphie sound a bit more nervous and relying on Squall to break the ice, which goes to show they’ve come to trust him as their leader, even when interacting with Edea.

As for Zell, in English, he goes “We’re meeting the Matron... M-Man, I’m nervous”. His French counterpart is more calm, saying “It’s a bit stressful seeing the governess after what happened”.

Small thing I noticed, Cid tends to nervously chuckle a few times, which doesn’t happen in French, making him seem a bit more eloquent. For example, here he says “I’m sorry” in the French version.

There is also a small difference before he asks them to forgive Edea where in English, he says “I don’t care about myself... But...” while in French, he says “I know I disappointed you”. Again, one of those small things that does change the overall feel of the scene a bit.

Interestingly, as they start talking with Edea, I noticed that this is a rare (possibly unique) occasion where some of the lines are the same for multiple characters, although it’s all variations of “We attacked you even though we knew you were our Matron” in both versions.

There isn’t a huge amount of difference in Edea’s speech at first, the only somewhat notable one being that in French, she explicitly tells them that she could become possessed again at any given time while in the English version, she trails off after saying “At anyime, I may...”.

Also interesting is that each character has a different line if you try to leave before Edea is finished, which is admirable attention to detail, but also not so great if you’re some sort of fool who for some reason decided to compare two translations of the same video game and has to reboot the game each time to try different party combinations, only to find that the unique lines aren’t different enough to mention anyway.

Something I want to point out is another example of the difference in how text is formatted in both versions, as we’ve seen in some of the pre-hiatus entries. As you can see, in the English version, “Sorceress Ultimecia” is highlighted in blue, which is not the case in the French translation, where the name isn’t different from the rest of the text.

We eventually reach an interestng divergence in the speech. Nothing major but in English, Edea explains that "There was no way I was going to let Ultimecia get a hold of Ellone. The only thing I coud do was... ..Surrender my soul to ultimecia and lose control my mind”.

Note how the way she says it here sounds like she willingly let Ultimecia take her over so she couldn’t go after Ellone. Meanwhile, in the French version, Edea says that she “refused to let her bewitch Ellone. In revenge... I am the one she possessed”.

So this one makes it sound more like Edea somehow stopped Ultimecia from possessing Ellone, and Ulti taking Edea instead was a punishment. Quite a different take on the story.

This difference seems to be confirmed a bit later in the English text, where Edea says that if Ultimecia tries to take her over again, she’ll “make a stand this time”, implying she didn’t resist initially. This distinction is absent from the French version.

Another interesting small difference; in French, Edea tells the group “I need you, children” when mentioning the fact that they may be forced to fight again, in contrast to the English version, where she refers to them as “Young SeeDs”. One sound smore like she’s appealing to them as the children she raised, one as the soldiers they’ve become. Once again, it’s a small detail, but one that I think allows for a different reading of the situation.

And now, we get to the part where Edea mentions Adel for the first time.

Ah, crap...

Well, I would have had to mention it sooner or later.

So, the French version did something weird with Adel. Now we all know, Adel is an unusual character in that despite being a woman, she has a clearly masculine body (and I don’t just mean because she’s muscular. Women can be muscular, but she has other masculine characteristics). And I guess the French translator was confused and decided to turn her into an intersex character.

To my knowledge, the French version of the game is the only one to have made such a change and er, yeah, once I found out, it was pretty awkward, and it hasn’t gotten better in modern days where trans, non-binary and intersex representation and rights are a much bigger concern, or at least a more mainstream one. I also want to mention in passing that they use the term “hermaphrodite” which isn’t exactly proper these days, but I want to remind everyone that back then, the word “intersex” wasn’t commonly used (in fact, I’m not sure it existed at all), so I won’t hold that against them at least.

Now, I guess that change in itself wouldn’t necessarily be a huge issue (although it does kind of break the rule that only women can become sorceresses, especially as they usually refer to Adel using male pronouns from what I recall), a bit awkward but ultimately not that big a deal...

... but what makes this so much worse is that, while one variation on how the characters react to Edea asking if they know about Adel, one of the lines (which are shared across multiple characters, at least in the French version), isn’t too terrible, referring to Adel as a “half-man, half-woman being”, there’s one where the character, either Zell or Irvine, uses a term which... well, I don’t know if to call it an outright slur is quite right (it doesn’t help that French people aren’t quite as offended by slurs as English-speaking people tend to be), but it’s not exactly a respectful term for someone who likes to crossdress.

Look, I’m not even gonna bother trying to find an English equivalent, it’s not necessary and that’s one can of worms I am perfectly happy leaving closed. I just wanted to bring it up because I feel it would be unfair to you to hide it. I don’t even think the translator was trying to be insulting to anyone, it was just a very poor judgment call that ended up messing with canon and creating an unfortunate situation for no reason. Know that we here at the Translarison say “Trans Rights!” and “Intersex Rights!” and I know damn well that the FFVIII cast does as well, awkward translations be damned.

With that out of the way, back to business. Edea mentions that she received her powers at the age of 5. This seems to confirm that she was already a sorceress before reciving Ultimecia’s powers. There is also a difference in translations as in English, she says that she received her powers from “the previous sorceress” which sounds like there can only be one at a time (which is immediately contradicted by them bringing up Adel).

Next, when Squall brings up Linoa, his English self says that her body was called and she wasn’t moving, so no wonder Cid took it to mean that Linoa died. However, his French self says that she “fell into a deep coma”, which IS accurate, but also makes it weird that Cid still has the same reaction.

Speaking of him, his reply to Squall sounds more tactful in French to me.

English:

“Squall, I understand how you feel. But you are in a position of leadership. The other students at garden have a right to know the outcome of the battle and what’s to come. Take whatever information you can get here, back to Garden. Remember, it wasn’t just Linoa. Everyone fought.”

French:

Squall, I understand that all this is emotionally exhausting for you. But think about your role as leader. The BGU students are relying on you. You mustn’t forget about the fate of your comrades. Linoa’s life isn’t the only one on the line.

And after Squall says “I understand, but...”, Cid still comes off better in French, as English Cid retorts “But, but, but... that isn’t something a leader should say...” which sounds horribly dismissive, while French Cid says “No ‘buts’. A true leader forgets his personal issues...” which not only feels less dismissive IMO, but also seems to refer back to his own actions, as he had to train SeeD to fight Edea in spite of his own feelings.

Oh, and when punching the wall afterwards, French Squall thinks “...... Fool” and I’m honestly not sure if he’s referring to Cid or himself.

There aren’t many differences while Edea explains Ultimecia’s goal and Squall reminisces about Linoa, but there is an interesting one. In English, when someone asks what would happen to the world if time was compressed, someone else answers “I can’t even imagine a world where time is compressed!”.

In French, Edea (presumably) clearly answers “If time is compressed, we will all plunge into nothingness.

And as the game fades back to Balamb Garden, we end with Xu a.k.a. Shu. In English, she tells Squall “I don’t want to say this in front of Quistis and you, but... I don’t know if some people will be so forgiving”. In French, she doesn’t actually speak directly to Squall, whispring to herself “Squall and Quistis are too king with the priestess. I’ve got the feeling that the others won’t forgive her so easily”. And yes, it’s a whisper because it’s not using the transparent text box.

Well, that is it for our first entry back. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did (the weird Adel stuff notwithstanding) and that you’re looking forward to more, I know I am. Don’t hesitate to let me know what you think of it and if you have any questions, my asks are open and of course you can leave them as a comment if you prefer.

Take care and I’ll be seeing you for part 26. No promises on when it’ll be out, but hopefully before another four years.

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yuriko-mukami · 1 year ago

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Happy Blog Anniversary

OMIGOSH!!! Two years already!!! 🤯🥳🥹💙

Time flies... Just wow... 🫂

Thank you for allowing Ruki to accompany Yuriko on her journey and be a part of her story.

An fucking amazing story, by the way. As I always say a masterpiece. 🛐

But it's not just Yuriko's canon story and Rukiko's story. It's so much more. I enjoy all interactions, any content, poems, shared thoughts and also drawings.

Since the very first moment in secret and now public. Never before have Ruki and I longed for someone so much...

Thanks for all your effort and work you put into the blog and Yuriko's story. You make our days. Keep going and share your things with us all.

Now some personal words...

You have no idea how incredibly happy I am that we met here. It's like a gift. No, more like a dream that came true. I'm blessed to have such a great RP partner and friend. Finding something like we have is so rare and special. I wish to keep it as long as we can.

Thank you.

For all the beautiful moments and unforgettable memories.

For always being there for me.

For comforting and listening to me.

For your trust.

For your honesty.

For putting a smile on my face.

For your friendship.

For your love.

Ruki and I are difficult persons with so many different shades. We know it's hard to conquer our hearts. But Yuriko and you have stolen them.

"When I fall in love, it will be forever."

— Jane Austen

I truly wish for this. Let's try to make it work. 💙🫂

We love you both from the bottom of our hearts.

Ruki & Admin

Oh my... thank you so much. 💙 You stole the words from my mouth, honey. I really don't know what to say. 🥹😭🥰

Ruki and Yuriko simply belong together, so I thank you for allowing Yuriko to be by Ruki's side. Now, they walk along the same path and that is something beautiful.

I'm ever so happy that you enjoy all the content in Yuriko's blog. The story is of course a masterpiece since it has the master in it. Jokes aside, it truly warms my heart that you love Yuriko's canon story. Though Rukiko story has its own specialities that makes it unique and meaningful in a different way than the canon story.

This longing still keeps to amaze me... since... you know, it wasn't one-sided.

I keep the blog going as long as I can... which I hope to be for loooong.

About your personal words... I'm also happy that we met. I never imagined I could find someone who shares my passion in the level you do and with whom it's possible to dig deep both in RP and in friendship. That is, indeed, very rare. And for that, I don't want to let go.

Light in the darkness A warm heart in the cold Someone who listens, someone who cares A genuine smile in the world full of lies A holding hand in the slippery path Someone who loves, someone who stays

If Yuriko and I conquer your hearts, so did you to us. From the very first moment, you piqued our interest and when we finally talked properly with you, I knew there was something in that. Difficult persons or not, I don't mind about that. You know how difficult I can also be. But Yuriko is literally an angel, I guess. So, everything is perfect as it is.

“Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! . . . It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!" — Emily Brontë / Wuthering Heights

We'll make it work. 💙🫂

We love you both with all our hearts.

Yuriko & Afi

#answered asks #ruki mukami dl #blog anniversary #the admin speaks

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lucienne-thee-librarian · 2 years ago

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Best and Worst sandman spinoffs 👀

Ooh okay, thanks!! Now I kind of feel awkward because in compiling this list I realize I might have to walk back what I said in that tag a little. I mean I did mention "obvious stuff like Overture and the Death comics" but putting all the stuff I think is good out there it really makes me realize how many good Sandman spinoffs and side issues there are. So...sorry if the Worst list is a lot shorter than the best *shrug*. I kinda wrote those tags without thinking too hard, and still bitter off reading the one thing that topped my Worst section. But if you just want whatever my opinions are anyway, then I figured why not?

So, in this list, I'm counting anything that isn't the original Sandman series that ended with the Wake as spinoff. That includes things written by the original author. This obviously contains spoilers for everything I'm gonna mention.

Best:

Sandman Overture (slight spoilers incoming): Obsessed with absolutely everything about this book. The story: immaculate and ties up a lot of loose ends about how our sad wet cat of an anthropomorphic personification got weakened enough to be imprisoned in the first place. Desire and Dream have to work together to literally save the cosmos and the group project goes off so well it makes their constant rivalry feel all the more tragic, because it shows what a massive cosmic goddamn waste it all was. What was it all for? What could they accomplish together if these characters were different enough to be capable of putting their pride and grudges aside more than once in a blue moon? What could their world look like? We find out the origin of Dream's Hope, a thing we thought we understood but this gives that moment a whole new meaning. And the art - good lord, sometimes I just like to stare at a panel, because every artist who worked on this comic apparently snapped and it is glorious.

Death: The Time of Your Life. I mean: this is a story written by the series original author and it shows. It has two dysfunctional lesbians at the center whose love for each other and their son still manages to be powerful enough to be the core of the story and catch the attention of an Endless. Also: Death is here and wonderful as always. And it's beautifully written and I'm never going to stop being weak over it. It means so much to me.

Endless Nights: again, written by the same author as Sandman and the illustrations in almost every section are either gorgeous or fucking haunting: and each one is a story where the other Endless get to shine. How can I not stan.

Death, the High Cost of Living: It features Death really heavily so right there...yeah. And the male protagonist, while he seems annoyingly broody at times, feels like a really realistically written teenager who's gone through some serious stuff in his life. I just love this story, it's short but wonderful.

Dream Hunters: this feels like a simple fairytale at first where Dream barely features at the end, but it sucks you in and the art style is unique and very well done. This book to me is proof that a story doesn't even need to be cosmic in scope to be a compelling tale that even still feels like one small story in that same world. It's not like, my favorite but I stand by what I said that it is a solid story with lovely art to bring it to life.

Worst:

Simon Spurrier's run of the Dreaming. If this is a favorite of yours, please just skip the bulleted sections lol, I'm sorry.

Honestly it's not all bad, some people hate it a LOT more than I do, but it just frustrates me so much. Because to me, it could easily have been salvaged, with heavy editing or some things being better fleshed out. In the end, it just SCREAMS wasted potential to me. It started off being decently written, and there were some not-terrible ideas in theory such as Dora's backstory, or the greatest threat to the realm of human dreams being an AI made up by someone who wants more control over the world and thinks he could run it better. In theory I even like the idea that Daniel makes some poor life choices and it causes consequences for his realm as he has to learn the responsibility of a ruler.

I like those elements in theory...but in execution?? God. It all felt SO half baked and several people (Lucien and Mervyn) got pulled pretty far out of character. And in the end, Daniel and Dora both left me utterly cold. I honestly feel like the writer couldn't make up his mind what he wants Daniel to be as a character, and Dora just...ehh. She was clearly meant to be sympathetic and there were moments I WANTED to sympathize: but idk, I just couldn't connect with her. She kind of had the vibe, to me, of someone's first OC they wrote when they were 13 who's bitchy in a kind of cringey #Girlboss way, but it's supposed to be charming solely because she has a tragic backstory.

Then you take the fact that the Walker clan gets brought back - and yet with no real resolution, no more than the Wake left?? This could've made the frankly baffling plot Rose got in Kindly Ones be the start of something more, maybe Desire's actions could have been given some purpose or explanation. But...nope.

Miranda Walker is half Endless yet she manages to die of cancer - even if she was half human, I find it a little difficult to believe that she would be able to die the exact same way a normal human would given what we know of Orpheus' fate in the original series. She's in pain but it doesn't feel like there's any real struggle in the end. But that's a pretty minor nitpick...my real beef is, she gets next to no lines and nothing to do, she contributes nothing to the plot. We learn little to nothing of her relationships with Rose and Jed, or Ivy. This woman is the child of Desire and I have ALWAYS thought she deserved to be more fleshed out. But we get even less than Neil Gaiman ever gave us, her character is quietly poofed out of things without so much as a whimper, and we never learn anything more about who she was. Jed fares little better, I don't think he even appeared.

Rose does get more to do, thank God. But in the end she gets no resolution, even a tragic one, no answers, she isn't allowed to grow. She even gets to interact with her grandfather but the possibilities for serious drama and tragedy dealing with the fallout of that are all swept to the side in favor of plot drama from characters like Dora Daniel and Ivy, who...existed, I guess.

If you're wondering why I'm not talking about Waking Hours, Kiernan's Dreaming or the Season of Mists manga at all, its simple: I haven't actually read any of them all the way through. I've only seen some panels of the manga in passing online and the descriptions of the premises. I REALLY want to see if I can get my hands on copies or find them online and read them for myself. I've heard that the Season of Mists manga and Kiernan's Dreaming are kind of cracked out and weird, but that only feeds my curiosity tbh. I've also heard Waking Hours is good.

Sorry this list was so incomplete, but thanks!! I appreciate the chance to ramble lol

#sandman #sandman overture #death: the time of your life #endless nights #dream hunters #despairoftheendless

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strawberryjamsara · 1 year ago

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🔥I’m interested in your LeoNeed is better than Wonderland Showtime opinions🔥

Well Ruikasa shippers are fucking annoying.

This post was sponsored by Audible-

Okay so jokes aside. Putting aside fandom grievances, how did Leo Need my least favorite band start to rise above Wonderland now one of my most hated?

So yeah I didn’t like Leo/Need at first. I honestly wasn’t too enthralled with the idea of childhood friends which… I’ll be honest, I think I was just projecting my own experience of my childhood friend becoming my bully onto that. I was like ‘Ugh is it really so bad if Shiho wants to leave the band?’ partly because I was thinking of how my friend started to spread rumors about me for being clingy. But we don’t have time to unpack all that. I think the event that made me start to really like Leo/Need was the Stage Of Sekai event. Ironically the LN event from before was probably my peak boredom with the group, having to spend a whole event on writing lyrics, but Shihos struggles and the push and pull between her friends wanting to help and not being experienced as her so she wanted them to be able to relax was so refreshing and it made Shiho start to rise through the ranks as one of my favorites. I started picking up on more of Honamis silly and neurotic tendencies, and Ichikas shy but goal oriented personality. And like. There are still things I have problems with. Their sekai is probably the most boring (just a school? Why not an observatory?) and I also get very annoyed at how Ichika hogs the mic during songs. I also think that the hard rock songs like teratera and Peaky Peaky are more fitting to their brand than slow soft ones like Made To Order, but that’s probably just me. But I started to reread some older events and I realized how strong a team they are. I loved watching them slowly march forward, their set goal, the discussion of what makes musicians create. Even the Miku software thing, while it’s pretty egregious product placement in a game that is a literal giant product placement, shows a want to understand how to make music. They very much go over how yes, achieving your dreams isn’t easy, and you will have to work hard and it might not be at the same pace as others so you’ll just have to commit which is a theme they commit to (unlike Wonderland does later but I’ll get there when I get there) and also Saki is a great character when you get her out from being ‘Tsukasa’s sister’. She’s incredibly peppy despite the fact she lost so much of her childhood and even because of that so she has to make up for it now. They write her illness well, and I adore how even though Shiho is strict, she will drop everything and make sure Saki is okay if she pushes herself too hard.

Okay now Wonderland…. Um…. So I read ahead some of the events and I remember being so upset at the ending of Arc 1 Wonderland. One of the most mature ideas in the game was that this high school friend group couldn’t last forever, but that was okay, they were going in different directions with their different dreams but they’d treasure these memories forever. The scene of the group hug where they cry together hit me hard. And I’m fine if a story wants to be a coffee shop au where nothing bad happens. But a cop out? Oooooh I get mad when a story spends so long building up that something sad will happen, and then it cheats out of that happening at the very last second. And yes I know it’s a gacha game they weren’t gonna make their most popular group disband but I think there was a very easy fix to this. Just have them split apart and post timeskip, have an inciting incident that gets the gang back together and show how they’ve changed. And boy does it make it feel like the last few events ruminating on this were filler when this happens. And that’s not the only event that feels like filler. Tell me what was the point of the stranded on an island event? Nothing of significance happened there, it felt like watching a filler episode with the ‘Were going our separate ways’ part tacked onto the end to give it meaning. Like do the writers even know what to do with these guys? These are good characters who are being put to waste! Oh yeah and also there’s that racist event that weirdos treated like 9/11 was happening when it wasn’t put in the English version. Sorry they hit the fucking Ruigon I guess, wish you’d show this same enthusiasm for literally anything else in the game.

#ask #colorful stage

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mimi-croissant · 2 years ago

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please talk about the strawberry shortcake polycule I knew I wasn't the only one who put her and nearly all her friends in some sort of relationship I cannot begin to explain everything /nf

OOH WOO BOY IS THIS GONNA BE LONG I THINK…

(I hc Lemon as aroace so unfortunately she’s not really included in the romantic polycule but I still love her so much)

Ok so starting with our line up of girls in the polycule: Strawberry, Orange, Lime, Blueberry, Raspberry, Suzette, Granola, Grapes

Who is dating who: Strawberry and Orange, Strawberry and Raspberry, Strawberry and Lime, Strawberry and Granola, Lime and Suzette, Lime and Blueberry, Raspberry and Grapes

AND ALL THEIR INVIDUAL COUPLE/GROUP DYNAMICS AND SUCH ARE SO FUN even with groups who have two people not dating they’re so fun. I know some dynamics are more fleshed out in my mind than others butttt (I’ll start w/ the Strawberry relationships since you asked for that but I also really wanna talk about the others)

Strawberry + Orange: You know them. The originals. The classic. One of my favorites. They are both so competitive in the best way but also put their differences aside to just have fun auggggh. And they cosplay and read comics together like??? Goals fr. “I’ll be your Guava Girl any day” IS SO ROMANTIC and they share drinks with each other and everything too. They are best friends to lovers who are mutually pining so hard it hurts they hold hands all the time and definitely hug a lot. Orange can literally carry Strawberry and lift her up enough said they’re so cute. THE SPIN HUG POTENTIAL??? CMON NOW!

Strawberry + Raspberry: Reformed mean city girl and sweet country girl they are so silly. They hated each other then started liking each other and I just :(( it’s so cute. ALSO THEY ARE LATINA4LATINA I DONT MAKE THE RULES! They have competitions in a way that’s different than Orange and Strawberry I think, especially when it comes to baking. They bake together real and canon they work flawlessly in the kitchen together it’s adorable. They know what the other needs before they even say it they are IN SYNC! Raspberry would throw hands for Strawberry. They have flour fights in the kitchen.

Orange + Strawberry + Raspberry: LISTEN. Listen. This trio is amazing. Just look at Fruitleg Alley for their dynamic it is beautiful. Orange and Raspberry are besties or a qpr yk yk. They are Strawberry Shortcake protectors they would do anything for her and vice versa.

Strawberry + Lime: I’m so biased this is one of my favorite pairings. They just! Go shopping together! They figure out each others boundaries and what they’re comfortable with! They hold hands while shopping and drag each other across the store! Sometimes they get kicked out for being clumsy and knocking down a display case it’s ok. Strawberry will make Lime donuts because they are her favorite. Strawberry likes making different kinds of donuts and Lime is her taste tester. Strawberry sometimes leaves boxes of donuts on Limes cart with a sticky note “for Lime” even though Lime always gets to their cart before Lemon. They share food! They hold hands and comfort each other and I just aggggh them forever.

Strawberry + Granola: They are just silly yk. Strawberry helps her improve and she would help Strawberry garden… they would garden together MANNN… you know imagine Granola holding Strawberry’s hand and showing her on to use the tools!

Strawberry + Lime + Orange: They are such good friends ok like. It’s crazy. I haven’t put much thought into Lime and Orange but they are besties qpr or dating! For funsies. They would cause SOOO much chaos and depending on the day Lime is usually the voice of reason </3 but sometimes she’s gotta cause trouble too yk. Strawberry bakes for them and make stuff they both like when she sees that they’re down. And just in general. CUDDLE PILES WITH THESE THREE. Movie night with sweets. Orange and Strawberry listening closely when Lime talks about books or fashion even though they have no clue what she’s talking about. They love to give each other forehead and cheek kisses… Lime has to take her glasses off sometimes when they both want to kiss her cheeks at the same time. Braid trains are a common thing with them, and sometimes Raspberry and/or Blueberry will join those. They love each other very much.

Lime + Suzette: Fashion girlfriends. Need I say more. They are another one of my absolute favorites. They shop together and have brunch together (sometimes without Bread. Sorry bro, the girls gotta have dates sometimes <3). They know each others coffee orders by heart and play footsies under the table. Lime likes to wear her big green hat because one of them will grab it to hide their faces when they kiss. It’s mostly for the vibe tbh. They go slow dancing together. The amount of pictures and selfies they take together is crazy. They take even more pictures of the other while they’re not looking. Albums dedicated to each other in their phones. (Lime has one for all her girlfriends). They do fashion shows at stores and stay from opening until closing or until the store kicks them out. Whatever comes first. They like to simply be in each others presence as Lime reads and Suzette designs clothes.

Lime + Blueberry: They are so comfortable with each other. They will fall asleep on each other at the worst possible time. They might not get each other 100% of the time but they work to understand and respect each other. They do each others hair a lot of the time as well. Holding hands and putting them in their pockets sort of deal.

Lime + Blueberry + Granola: You know I just like the idea of them gardening together. Strawberry and Lemon probably join a bit. All the girls join in the gardening I think, but especially them. They would fight over something small and after being upset for .5 seconds they would all apologize and work together.

Raspberry + Grapes: I love them! Best friends to lovers type of beat. One fell first (Grapes) the other fell harder (Raspberry). Grapes has drawn them holding hands! They have known each other since childhood and definitely got married in the sandbox when they were younger and playing princesses. They both thought they were the only on pining until they confessed. They don’t show the most PDA but you can still tell they are together. Also they have this thing where Raspberry is being a better person but Grapes has to stay with Pie Man because he’s “family” or whatever you know… kinda angsty but whatever. They work through it though I know it. “They would have different bedrooms if they lived together” type of couple.

And that’s all for now djejdne. If you want me to elaborate on something more or talk about different characters I would be so happy to this was so much fun to write! I hope I answered your ask correctly too skskxne

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downwiththeficness · 1 year ago

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Shadow and Veil-Chapter Seven

Summary: Eva Moore’s life was a carefully constructed fiction. Every day, she did exactly what her mother in law, her husband, and his best friend expected of her. No mistakes. And, that was going pretty well for Eva right up until a huge complication literally tried to run her over. Now, she’s faced with trying to keep the pieces of her life from falling apart while attempting (and failing) to keep her feelings for her husband’s new business partner at bay.

A/N: This fic is a sister-fic to A Need So Great and A Need Unleashed. You do not need to have read ANSG or ANU to read this fic, but there are Easter eggs from those fics in Shadow and Veil for readers with keen eyes. This fic is explicit for canon-compliant blood, gore, violence, and sex. As such, it is intended for an adult audience, only. A/B/O dynamics come with their own warning. Anyone under the age of 18 should not interact with this work. I do not consent to reposting this work to other platforms. Reblog only to Tumblr.

Word Count:~3700

Start from the beginning Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Masterlist Read on AO3

Eva did not want to go to this stupid charity event. She didn’t want to get dressed and do her hair. She didn’t want to put on makeup. She didn’t want to smile politely while Myra made backhanded compliments. And, she certainly didn’t want to watch her husband strut around on a stage while the wealthy women of their town vied for his attention. Just existing seemed to be too much effort as of late and this party was going to take her far beyond her limits.

Since the night she killed Dr. Martin, Eva worked hard to get through one hour at a time. She focused her energy on keeping up appearances when all she wanted was to be far, far away from the large house, the designer clothes, the watchful eyes of Alexei. He hadn’t said anything to her about it, but she could feel him observing her whenever they were in a room together.

There was no telling what he saw. Eva could barely keep herself together enough to sit through dinner. She spent a lot of time crying in her closet with the door firmly shut and her face buried in a pillow. When her tears dried up, Eva stood, collected herself, and went back to whatever she had been doing prior to the breakdown.

She might have made the decision that she was going to escape her life, but actually following through on that decision felt daunting, at best. The money she stowed away was waiting for her, but what to do once she collected it? Where would she go? How would she carve out a new life, a new identity, so that she couldn’t be found? There was no doubt that Josh would come looking for her.

No.

He’d send Alexei. And, when he found Eva, she would be the person tied up in Josh’s lab. There would be no one there with enough mercy to kill her early.

Or.

Worse.

Josh would do what he occasionally promised to do if she stepped too far out of line. What he sometimes did when he left town for business. If that happened, Eva would be in a very different kind of hell. Even the thought of it had her rubbing away phantom pain around her wrist.

All of those worries had to be set aside when Eva pulled to a stop in the parking lot of the city’s largest event hall. Her hands on the wheel were tight enough that her knuckles protested. Eva kept taking long, deep breaths, hoping that it would be enough to get her to step out of the car. Each one failed. And failed. And failed. They failed until she thought she might hyperventilate.

Eva kept squeezing the wheel in her hands. Her jaw hurt from clenching so tight. She felt tears threaten to fall at the corner of her eyes.

“Stop it,” she demanded, aloud. “Stop it right now.”

Her body, thankfully, obeyed. The heart in her chest slowed and her eyes blinked away the tears. She began to breathe normally again.

“We’re going to get out of this. We just need to keep doing what they want until we can make our move.” Eva said to herself, “Now, get out of the car.”

She got out of the car.

Squaring her shoulders, Eva walked to the recreation center and stepped inside. It smelled faintly musty, a remnant from the basketball games played throughout the year. A table was sitting near the entrance with one of the event coordinators on standby to check the tickets.

Eva pulled the slim paper from her purse and presented it to a woman with curtain bangs and too much eyeliner. Her name tag read ‘Claire’.

“Mrs. Moore,” she breathed, “We’re so happy to have you here.”

Eva nodded, “I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks.”

Pleased, Claire handed her a tri-fold brochure, “There’s all the information. If you have questions, feel free to ask.”

Eva thanked Claire and turned to enter the event room. There were streamers everywhere, crepe paper hanging from every available surface. In soft pinks and blues, it looked like a senior prom, not a county wide charity event for children—not that Eva had ever attended a prom. She’d been married almost four years by the time she would have been able to go, and Josh wasn’t about to accompany her to a dance at a school she hadn’t attended since she was fourteen.

Spotting a bar at the far end of the room, Eva bee lined for it. On the way, she was caught by Peggy.

“Eva! You look wonderful,” she gushed.

Eva smiled, “Thank you. You look lovely, too.”

Peggy was dressed in a long skirt dotted with pale lavender flowers. The neckline was ruffled lace to match the hem. Her hair had about three cans of hairspray holding it together, which possibly made her a fire hazard. And yet, taken together, Eva found her endearing.

“Thank you!” Peggy replied with a grin, “Don’t you just love the decorations?”

Eva struggled with how she should respond, settling on, “You certainly put a lot of effort into this.”

“We did,” she confirmed with a sharp nod, “though Myra had a lot of say in the matter. She’s very strong-headed.”

Eva allowed herself a genuine smile, “Yes, she is.”

With a conspiratorial look, Peggy murmured, “I would have gone a different way, but what Myra wants, she gets.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Eva said carefully, unsure if Peggy was trying to draw her into a bitching contest about her mother in law.

Peggy sighed, “She has excellent taste, for sure. And, she’s managed to get three large donations for our raffle, so I guess she gets to have a little say in how things look.”

Humming, Eva glanced at the bar longingly. She could really, really use a drink.

Peggy noted another woman across the floor and waved at her, “Excuse me, this is one of our whales for the night.”

Eva watched Peggy scurry off to schmooze with the woman in the hopes of getting a bigger donation. What was it like to have nothing but this little charity event to worry about? What was it like to only exist in the present instead of being stretched, paper thin, into the past and future. Eva envied Peggy, flammable hair and all.

Sliding onto a bar stool, Eva settled in for the long haul. She wouldn’t move from this spot if she could help it. This room might be the last place in the world she wanted to be, but at least there was booze. She could get through a hell of a lot if she had enough alcohol.

Even though her back was turned, Eva could hear when Myra walked into the room. The volume of the voices dimmed noticeably. In the lull, Myra’s soft southern accent enthusiastically greeted some of their guests. Her quiet compliments and feigned surprised at how ‘lovely’ everything looked rose above the din of conversation.

Eva didn’t turn around, her attention on a bar tender who looked barely old enough to be serving liquor. To be fair, she was barely old enough to be drinking it. He greeted her warmly and ask for her order. The options were limited to wine, cocktails, and beer. Eva asked for a glass of red and watched as her drink was poured with very little ceremony.

Eva took the glass that was offered to her and turned a bit on the stool so that she could watch the crowd. The room was filling up. People that she knew and some that she didn’t wandering around talking about the décor, the possible prizes to be won, the little finger foods that were being passed around by waiters in crisp white uniforms.

It was the picture of normalcy and Eva could not feel more estranged from it.

Just as the cake walk was beginning on the stage, Myra noticed her. Eva hid her grimace behind the rim of her glass as her mother in law walked her way. Myra was wearing a fashionable blouse and skirt set that shimmered faintly as she moved. Her path weaved through the crowd with a kind of confidence that made other people step out of her way.

Eva set her wine down and smiled at Myra, “It looks like the event is going well. I’ve heard good things about the decorations.”

“Of course you have,” Myra replied, smug. “I ordered them all the way from the capitol two months ago. When they arrived, they were in these horrid little boxes that took ages to open.” She sighed, “But, I suppose it was worth the effort.”

Nodding gently, Eva pretended to look around at the results of Myra’s efforts. Or, more accurately, the results of Myra’s supervision and the efforts of the people who she got to do the actual work.

“Speaking of effort,” Myra went on with the distinctive drawl of disapproval, “you could have put a bit more into your appearance today. This is an important event.”

Eva looked down at the plain black dress she was wearing. Sleeveless, with a hemline that brushed her knees, it paired nicely with the drop pearl earrings she was wearing and the patent leather pumps on her feet.

Feeling spiteful, she replied, “Josh picked it out.”

He did pick it out. Months ago. From a catalogue. Eva’s choice to wear it was more a matter of convenience than any sense of style. The dress she wanted to wear was still at the cleaners, forgotten in the midst of Eva’s moral crisis. But, Myra didn’t need to know that.

“Ah,” Myra breathed, tempering her disdain, “Well, you can’t fault him for that. Men rarely understand a dress code. You, however, I would expect more from.”

Eva felt a thin wire of steel slide through her spine one vertebrae at a time, “Absolutely. I suppose a little fashion faux pas is a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the happiness of my husband.”

Myra didn’t miss a beat, “Really, Eva, you would think by now that you would have learned that sometimes what makes our husbands happy is what we tell them makes them happy.”

Eva couldn’t think of any way to return that volley without outright arguing with Myra, so she simply said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yes,” Myra said as her eyes turned towards the crowd, “Well, I see that Mr. Olsen and his wife are here.”

And, with that, Myra walked away.

Eva rolled her eyes and went back to watching the cake walk. People sauntered in a slow circle while music played, cakes placed at strategic locations within the perimeter. She found her lips pulling to a smile when one or two of the participants slowed around the cakes they wanted, sighing in defeat as the music continued to play.

A few bars later, the sound system cut off and cheers of triumph mixed together with groans of disappointment. The winners got their prize and the kids got their donations.

Everyone was happy.

At the door, people continued to wander in. Some of them were holding raffle tickets, most were looking around in excitement. Eva realized that none of the people in the room were children. The whole event was supposed to be about funding treatment for sick kids and not a one of those kids was present.

Her confusion was cut off when Josh walked in, teeth flashing in a wide grin. He was wearing a blue plaid suit that stuck out among the more demure color palette around him. As he walked around, people stopped to talk with him and he met each and every one of them with a warm handshake.

She could feel her mouth turning down in a frown. He was so good at it: talking to people he didn’t know, complimenting the wives of the people he did. Making others like him so much that they didn’t see the monster beneath.

Sickened by the sight of him, Eva spun around and focused on her wine. It was nothing special—she had better at the house—but it would eventually dull the ache of disgust in her chest and that was enough for her. She finished one glass and was just starting in on the second when the lights dimmed.

Looking over her shoulder, Eva caught the emcee striding onto the stage, heard him announce that the bachelor’s auction would be starting soon. She almost scoffed, barely caught herself before she remembered that there were people in the room that might see her. A quick glance around told her that her disdain had gone unnoticed.

She should at least try to put on a show. Just in case.

Settling into a relaxed pose, Eva pretended to listen to the emcee as he explained the rules. She laughed at all the appropriate times and smiled at the cheeky little grin he gave when he talked about the ‘date’. If Eva were there by herself, if Josh and Myra were far away, she might be entertained by the way the contestants were all standing awkwardly in the back, by the way the ladies in the room were already sizing them up.

Eva blinked rapidly as a scent teased her nose. There were a lot of people in the room, a lot of perfumes and colognes that made it difficult to home in on one in particular. She would have dismissed it as a figment of her imagination if it didn’t get steadily stronger.

Tobacco and vetiver.

She hadn’t thought about him in days—too wrapped up in her own bullshit to remember that there was a big fucking problem that she hadn’t yet dealt with. And now every breath she drew was dripping in him.

Someone sat down at on the stool next to her and Eva’s eyes closed against the knowledge of who it was. She should get up and move closer to the stage. She should put in a bigger effort to support her husband.

Eva didn’t move.

Knowing that it was a bad idea, she turned away from the emcee and his jokes, ostensibly to order another glass of wine. To her left, a man sat with his forearms leaned on the bar. Tan skin led to wide palms that led to surprisingly fine-boned fingers.

The bartender set down Eva’s glass and addressed the newcomer, “What’ll you have?”

“A beer,” he intoned, “please.”

For fuck’s sake, Claire, are you letting everyone in? Eva thought, unkindly.

The hair on her arms stood up at the sound of his voice. Gone was the sardonic tone, the bluster. Eva glanced at him. He was wearing a simple button up shirt and slacks, looked nothing like the last time she’d seen him. Sitting beside her was once again the man on the sidewalk.

“What are you doing here?” Eva asked, too curious to keep her mouth shut.

He wasn’t looking at her when he replied, “Seems like the whole city is here. Why shouldn’t I be?”

“You don’t live here.”

“I do now.”

“For how long?” Her voice was terse, angry. “Your...business arrangement is taken care of.”

He laughed softly, “Not quite.”

The bartender placed a beer on the bar and rightly read the tension between them. He quickly busied himself with cleaning glasses that were already spotless.

Eva cut a look at him, “What does that mean?”

Whatever he might have said was cut off by the sound of applause as the bidding started. Eva ran a hand over her face as if to physically swipe away her frustration. She didn’t have the luxury of making a scene at the moment.

“Is this what Americans do for entertainment?”

Eva’s mouth opened, her answer stalling as she caught the amusement in his expression, “Um, no?”

He eyed the crowd, “They are enjoying themselves.”

She couldn’t say that he was wrong. People were laughing and jeering as the bids were made, money waving in well manicured hands. They looked like they were having all kinds of fun.

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

He looked at her carefully, “And, you’re sitting here.”

Eva met his glance, “I am.”

“Why?”

She drank from her glass, uncomfortable with the intensity of his stare. He let the silence hang while the next bachelor was called to the stage.

Then, “I see rings on the hands of most of those men. Their wives aren’t upset that they are being sold?”

Eva couldn’t help the way she laughed at his honest question, “Its just pretend. They pay to go on an outing with one of the men, but its not real.”

His eyes narrowed in confusion.

“The money helps with buying medicine for sick kids. All of that is just a game they play so they can have a little fun with the donation.”

There was a pause, followed by, “You’re not playing the game.”

Eva, who had been watching a middle aged woman holler at the emcee to make sure he saw her bid, whipped her head around and stared at him, “No. I’m not playing the game, Mr. Jimenez.”

He flinched.

Good.

Eva sipped her wine, wishing that she had feigned sick so that she wouldn’t be sitting on that stupid barstool next to a man whose smell was so at odds with his actions that she couldn’t make heads or tails of him.

“Why are you here?”

He hesitated a beat, “When you want to know what kind of people you’re dealing with, put them in a room full of money.”

Eva shot him a look, then quickly dropped her eyes to her half empty glass.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Her voice was too high pitched to be innocent and she could feel an embarrassed heat creep up her neck.

“No,” he countered, “that wasn’t nothing.”

Eva shook her head, “It was just an inside thought.”

Oh, my God. Why did you say that? Eva chided herself. She hadn’t talked about inside thoughts since—anyway, she shouldn’t have said it.

“What is an inside thought?”

He had to ask. Of course he had to ask. It didn’t make sense for him not to ask.

Eva shook her head, looking anywhere but at the man beside her.

Leaning into her space, his voice dropped low, “Tell me, what is it?”

Against her will, Eva found herself saying, “Its a thought that should probably be kept inside—you know, inside.”

He lifted his brows, non-verbally asking for more.

She struggled to form the thought into something coherent, “Its not something you should say in polite company.”

Mouth lifting in half a smile, he joked, “I don’t know that I am polite company.”

There was a challenge in that statement that was reflected in his eyes. Eva let that challenge hold for as long as she could before she sighed and picked up her glass, “You don’t know who you’re dealing with until you’re in a room full of money and a gun. That was the thought. Happy?”

He surprised her by leaning back a little and saying, “Yes. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re right.”

She frowned, “I’m what?”

The glass in his hand tipped back and he took a long pull, “You’re right. You don’t know who you’re dealing with until you have motive and a weapon.”

Eva rolled her eyes, “You sound like a cop.”

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t let my men hear you say that.”

“Secret’s safe with me.”

The emcee announced the next bachelor and Eva’s ear caught on Josh’s name. Accomplished businessman. Proud member of the Masons. Board certified medical doctor—careful ladies, he’s married! She smiled awkwardly as eyes turned towards her, blew Josh a good natured kiss just for show. He caught it mid-air and stowed it away in his breast pocket for safekeeping.

More pretending.

The attention of the crowd returned to the stage and Eva felt safe enough to turn back to her drink. She drained the glass and signaled the bartender for another.

“So you are playing the game.”

Eva leveled a baleful look at him, “Don’t pretend you’re not.”

“I at least admit it from time to time.”

“I’m not—,” she took a calming breath, “Surviving is not a game.”

Eva had no idea why she was admitting that to him. She had no idea why she was letting him draw her out. It had to be something about the way his scent called to her, the way it made her feel cosseted and safe. Yes. It was his scent. That’s all it was.

This is dangerous.

“No,” he whispered, “its not.”

Josh’s ending bid was two hundred dollars, an amount that he seemed proud to have garnered. Eva didn’t even bother to figure out who had won. She simply smiled and pretended that she was happy for him.

The next bachelor was called up. Mr. Dorset was one of the new pharmacists in the parish. Ardent hadn’t yet pulled him into the fold, but Eva knew it was only a matter of time. Josh would work his magic eventually.

Young, good looking, and shy. His shoulders rose up a little bit at the wolf whistle he earned from someone who might have been drinking a bit too much.

Beside her, Mr. Jimenez threw back the rest of his beer. He paid the bartender with a crisp one hundred dollar bill—no change.

Turning to Eva, he said, “I lied. You don’t know someone until you’re standing between someone the thing they can’t live without.”

What the fuck does that mean?

Eva watched him stride away, his broad shoulders maneuvering through the crowd easier than Myra’s confident stride. As he disappeared, she felt something inside her come unmoored. The whole conversation felt like it had never happened, like it had been a dream.

But, it was real.

It happened.

Sniffing, Eva blinked rapidly and folded her irrational panic up into a little envelope to be opened later. She turned to see that Mr. Dorset’s winning bid was five hundred dollars. He smiled and blushed and dipped his chin, waving his thanks to Peggy.

Behind him, Josh pushed his hands into his pockets. He was smiling, but his expression was carved in stone.

Eva felt her stomach drop. She paid the bartender and slid from her seat. Walking along the perimeter, Eva took her place next to her husband. She made small talk and little jokes to keep everyone from noticing how quiet her husband had become. When his hand encircled her wrist, squeezing tightly, she played pretend that it didn’t hurt.

#Shadow and Veil #Narcos #horacio carrillo #carrillo #AU #a/b/o dynamics #maurice compte

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shrimp-library · 2 years ago

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The CV Guide for Girlies

Disclaimer: Most of the advice does not apply for ATS scanners. Still don't know how those work.

Let's say you've just been laid off unexpectedly, or you finally decided to put an end to your comfy NEET days, and you need a piece of digital paper to show someone because you wish to get paid. It's so overwhelming, where do you even begin? Well, you're in the right place, because this article right here is all you need to make a CV and actually land a job.

Before we start, there is a difference between a CV and a résumé. Curriculum Vitae (CV) is basically a your entire life, all your achievements, certificates, degrees, experience, all of it compiled together, while a résumé is a quick rundown of relevant information for the job you want. This is all completely irrelevant, because no one says résumé anymore, and no one except academia will expect your entire life course so far, but for the sake of brevity, the term CV will be used from now on.

Describe yourself in a thousand words

Firstly, sit down and write your academic achievements and all the work experience you have, in a single document. Try to be as detailed as possible. Mention everything, from fetching coffee for your slightly misogynistic boss to taking photos of university events. Anything that comes to your mind, just jot it down. Much like a lot of aspects of a job, it's easier to remove unnecessary fluff than to add it on the spot.

Next step is to translate your plebeian plainspeak to corporatese. You didn't stand in queue for 20 mins because your boss forgot his morning cuppa, you procured vital resources to ensure the team's success. You didn't just post some selfies from that boring conference, you created content to help boost the popularity of X university. It's mindboggling why humans have to communicate to each other in this way, but we live in a society.

Put aside that document for now, and browse jobs that are sort of within your expertise. As an example, we will be pretend that your desired position is that of Administrative Assistant, because it's a broad term that means literally anything and your dear author is not nearly as creative as HR. Administrative jobs can include the very general Assistant, Receptionist, AccountantLite, you name it. Then it branches off to specific establishments, like offices, hotels, spas, etc. It is all similar, but not quite the same, like how synonyms work in the English language.

Now we go back to your original document. Separate the experience you have based on the jobs you've scoured. There are customer-facing jobs, like a Hotel Receptionist, that also force you to deal with money and guest reservations, which is quite different than having to deal with social shenanigans in an office environment. Keep the original document intact, and create new documents for this step.

Designing yourself in a one-page document

Alright, the most daunting part is done. Good job! Pat yourself on the back, and follow this link to Canva, type "CV" into the search bar, and window shop for the one you like the most. Highly recommend these new sleek and modern ones, they are comfortable to look at for more than two seconds and people in HR won't discard them immediately. Choose a template or make your own from scratch, but keep in mind that people actually still use printers and will print out your application, so the contrast between the background color and the font color has to be high enough. Can't fail with a black-on-white approach, though a slightly darker white (#F4F4F4) and a slightly lighter black (#212121) work great and don't strain our eyes as much as the tried-and-true does.

Eye strain happens because of how our iris contracts with a lot of light being received, which is not a hard task for these miracles of nature, but then having to look at and actually read black words is a little bit hard for them. Absolutely demolished by simple text.

Pro tip: One page of CV = 10 years, or less, of experience. Do NOT go over one page. Make it fit.

The reason for the One Page Rule is simply because attention span of a person who is looking at potentially hundreds of CVs in a day is limited, and their patience might be thin. If a CV is unreadable, or looks absolutely horrible to read at first glance, it will be discarded. The point of a CV is to get an interview, not to get a job immediately. You want them to look at your pixels, actually read them, and give you a call.

There are a few good rules to keep in mind when designing a CV.

Make sure your name is clear, bold, and visible, in upper left corner or in the middle of the document.

Your future employers won't remember the exact details, but they will jot down your name as a potential new recruit. It should be visible, even from a thumbnail.

Contact information should be separated into a different "box", and should include phone number and e-mail address.

In case they wish to contact you, do not make them look for your information for more than a second, they will not bother with that. Adding a home address depends on where you are from, and the kind of job you want. If you are only looking for remote work, home address is not needed, but adding your address nowadays is usually redundant. Better to keep your sensitive information to yourself if you can, as you never know who's watching.

Bullet points are a great way to summarise previous experience, and they never end in a full stop.

Attention to detail and knowledge of proper text formatting etiquette is imperative in a lot of jobs nowadays. Show them you know what you're doing right off the bat with your wonderful CV. In case you are adding slashes (/), there should be space before and after the slash if there are two or more words on each side.

Example:

Peaches/Bananas

Ripe peaches / Spotty bananas

The order of all points should be in reverse chronological order, so the first point should be the most recent work experience or academic achievement, then go down the list with the second, third, and so on.

Font choice is extremely important.

Sans-serif basically means 'no decoration', and is generally perceived as friendlier and more relatable, but is often also more readable (which is why we're using it for this website).

'Serif' fonts have tiny little decorative ends to each letter, and are seen as more formal and professional.

The best design choice is to combine both font categories. Use 'serif' for job titles you've previously held, and the additional information about them, like the company you worked at and the time that you spent there (with the time span being in italics so it doesn't look too uniform and stands out). The bullet points should be in a 'sans-serif' font of your choice, as they usually mean more text, so it's easier to read.

There are many font families to choose from, and most people default to Times New Roman for 'serif', and Arial for 'sans-serif'. Switch it up a bit, and use Garamond instead of TNR, and Calibri instead of Arial. It's the little things that matter the most, and you want to stand out among the crowd, so min-maxxing like this is a good idea.

Keywords should be found, and they should be bold.

First impressions are everything, as often times, the only chance you'll get is a quick glance, unless you pull them in. Words that are bold seem more important, and people will look at them before anything else, so use the bold to highlight the things you want them to look at. A good trick is to bold up the keywords that the employer used in the job description. They mentioned one of the responsibilities is scheduling office meetings? You bold that stuff right up in your CV.

Finding the keywords in job descriptions is basically the same game as bolding them in your CV. There's a lot of corporatese fluff they use in these descriptions, same as we have to, so it's a tug of war from both sides to figure out what the hell everyone's talking about. Here's an example of the first job that popped up on Indeed!

This is a highly effective method, because it works in real life as well. Mirroring gestures and repeating back slightly different words to people we're talking to makes them subconsciously kinda like us. They think we're cool, because they usually think they themselves are cool. Also, it makes sense that if an employer is looking for these specific things, you'll want to mimic them to get a call back. You want them to look at your CV and say "Yes, this is exactly who we need!". It really is that simple, though it will take a little bit more time upfront, but it pays off in the long run. Rather spend 10 minutes on this, than send out hundreds of applications with no results.

Most jobs within a field have very similar responsibilities, perhaps just worded a bit differently. Create a few different versions of your CV to apply to these slightly different jobs.

An important note to all the above is to keep an eye out for any big names. HR loves knowledge of industry-standard software, so if you are proficient in MS Excel (god bless), you put that in and you bold it. Same goes with numbers. Any "increases in volume", or "saved the company X amount of money through this unique special trick of knowing what you're doing", and they will drool at your CV. Big name software and actual quantifiable numbers should always be included and always be bold.

FAQ

Should I use a photo of myself?

Probably not. There are a thousand different biases that people have, and you want to avoid that like the plague. You might be too blonde, too brunette, too skinny, too pretty, too . A photo catches immediate attention, and you don't want them to be looking at you, you want them to look at your words.

I don't have any work experience, what do?

First of all, do not lie outright. If you went through university/college, did you organise any study groups? Did you write any articles for the school's newspaper, or publish any killer essays? Were you a cheerleader? A leader of a book club? Include that. Fluff it up. You probably did something, even if it's having awesome grades. Include professor references, too!

I'm not sure if I should apply to this job.

Apply to literally any job that you feel you can do. On average, women seem to be very shy in applying for jobs they are not at least 90% qualified for, while men don't seem to overthink as we do and just apply to anything that resembles a job description. The worst that can happen is be ignored. Enjoy the rush of euphoria as you hit that Send button!

I'm an American and we are prompted to disclose our very personal information that is usually illegal in other countries.

Disclosing your religion, sexuality, and race can be a double-edged sword. There are many diversity quotas that companies are dying to fill, but if you're unsure about sharing this information, do some stalking of the company's website. They usually have a page dedicated to all their employees, and if you notice a staggering lack of women in there, it actually might be a good idea to apply. Women often offer unique perspectives to problem-solving that men just don't even think about until it's too late. If the company's website mentions any of the new buzzwords, you may fluff up your personality a bit, but make sure the info you provide is not verifiable or outright questionable. You want to go for plausible deniability.

I have large time gaps between jobs.

That is nothing to fret about, unless you're applying for some high-rolling intense corpo job we see in movies. One way to minimise the initial impact of the gaps is to only state the month and the year you spent at a job (August 2019 - March 2020). When you land an interview, and they ask about it, you have three options.

Option A

Claim family issues. People are generally more lenient about this when it comes to women, which might seem like a cool life perk until you realise they are lenient because women are expected to take care of family members. This option also allows for mental health breaks from working, and you wouldn't technically be lying because you are someone's family.

Option B

Claim travel. If you claim you went abroad to volunteer at animal shelters for a year, they will ask you why haven't you put that down in the CV, and that is just an awkward situation. But, if you claim you went abroad or to another state to protest against testing on animals because you feel strongly about the cause, they might even be impressed by your passion. Travelling to see family abroad also works. Make sure your social media accounts are private.

Option C

Claim NDA. The very nature of Non-Disclosure Agreements is that you cannot talk about whatever you did. Can't put it in CV, can't talk about it, that's that. This option requires very good lying skills and a good delivery. If they stay silent after your claim to try to get you to talk, do NOT break the silence. Stare into their soul and wait until they break first.

If you are still worried about the gaps, you can try to fill those with completed certificates and courses that are somewhat related to your field and will help you in the long run.

This is already very long, so take all of this advice, create some gorgeous CVs, and go get that bread.

You can do it!

#cv tips #cv writing #for women #shrimp library #how to

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rubitheracoon · 5 days ago

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A bit of a vent below the cut.

Idek if I want him to see this or not. But this is something I would go to him about it if it was the right time and place, but it isn't. So I'm going here instead.

Goose if you're seeing this you can look if you want to, but please don't if you aren't in the right mindset. I don't want to make you feel bad about your decision, if you do read it a like would be nice so ik you've seen it.

This relationship stuff is so new to me, every step I/we take is a new experience. This is hold is just another new experience that I have to hurdle through, and all of it will be worth it for the sake of our love. I just need to keep hurdling through so we can live together and love eachother again and be healthy together (This is a reminder I wrote to myself at the end of making this post and I put it up here)

Everytime I come home from school I feel like I'm trapped in my own mind

This house used to be my safe space where I don't need to worry about anything, but right now it's just a reminder of everything that's making me feel this way

I hate this

How do I get this anxiety away? how do I go back to being ok? I want to just be ok with this new change in my life, I want to wholeheartedly believe it'll all be ok in the end, that we will be ok. I want to have full faith that he will come back when he feels like he has everything under control and he feels like he has the time and energy so we can work on balancing our relationship with our other responsibilities.

I understand why we're on hold, we just couldn't hold a relationship when he was busy with work all the time and we barely got to see eachother, there was no better way around it and I understand that. I understand that he needs space and that I need to step back. I understand that this is for the benifit of our relationship, so we dont fall apart. I know that he still loves me, if he didn't then he wouldn't have put us on hold to sort his own problems out.

But I'm just scared, no matter how hard I try not to overthink it, no matter how much I try to be ok with it especially when I should be because I understand that this is the best option, I'm scared.

I don't know how long this will go for, I don't know how I should talk to him or when. I'm scared we might not be together again for months and months, I'm scared that we might not be able to figure something out and we'll have to wait until we can move in together. And if we have to wait a long time what if one of us fall out of love? I don't know what I would do if that happened.

We will barely get to see eachother, and I feel like if I ask him if we can hang out that will defeat the whole purpose of this break, I feel like if I say anything to him at all right now itll fuck it up.

I just want him to tell me what I need to do, because I just don't know how I need to go about this.

I want to see him but that defeats the purpose, I want to talk to him but I need to give him space, but for how long do I give him space? I need so much reassurance from him right now that he just doesn't have the capacity to give me.

I want so badly to just believe in him and feel ok and be ok with this and understand what I need to do to give him what he needs and understand where I need to step back and how to cope and just fucking be ok again.

My anxiety is torturing me all the damn time, I'm just constantly thinking about it no matter how hard I try not to. I need to have myself 100% distracted at all times which is why I hate being at home right now.

I got so used to spewing out unconditional love that I don't know how to filter it back again, I need to start from scratch because the coping mechanisms I had before we got together just weren't healthy, and this is an entirely different situation anyway. I literally have no method to cope right now aside from distracting myself. I don't know what to do because I don't know how to suppress my love for him again.

Fucking hell it's only day 2 what am I going to do with myself

Hopefully this is just my way of processing everything, and it'll pass.

#vent #vent post #personal vent #relationship vent

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marmutgembil · 9 months ago

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How Soto Lamongan I had With the Price Point of Rp 5000 Changed Me In Unparalleled Way

Until the age of 13, I was a really picky eater and my diet only consist on nuggets or maybe carrots once in a while. I also especially hates toge. But here's the thing, a bowl of soto lamongan with price point RP 5000 and questionable hygiene, it changed my whole different perspectives on food and--you guess it-- friendship too.

For the sake of intro, I have been moving to different cities since these past 4 years, and in all those places, I always make sure to search and pin points a good soto ayam lamongan place, for whenever those days where a hearty warm with sour-y tasted soup are needed, I know where to go.

My lover, my friends, and everyone who are closes to me, knows my addiciton to soto ayam lamongan very well, and often they teased me on it, which I admit, very well deserved.

Not soto bogor, not coto makassar, not soto madura, but it has to be be Lamogan city style, a perfect cuisine that consist of yellow broth from the mix of koya and kunyit , add the right amount of bihun putih or adding it overboard won't hurt, also toge, ayam suwir, sprinkled with daun bawang and seledri to top it off. Oh, and don't forget the hard boiled egg, maybe salted egg when I feel fancy.

Back again, what's the connection of soto ayam Lamongan with pre-teen me who were a little picky eater shit?

Here is the full story. Aside from a picky eater, I was also such an awkward person, I don't know how to be fun, I don't know how to befriend anyone or how to be cool. I blame my mother and her strict, fun-hating parenting for that. I would end up still being that person, if my friend back then weren't 'adopting' me and introduced me how to enjoy my youth. Let's call her F

F accepted my weirdness without much questioning it nor complaining. We were so different. almost none of our hobbies matched. But she was really cool person, the kind that known so many friends, knows how to socialize, can talk to boys without work up a sweat. I was really mesmerized in her attitued and of course wanted to be included in every social setting.

Someday, she asked me to eat to soto ayam lamongan. At that time, remember, pretty much only nugget or chicken as food in my radar. But, the fear of missing out in me, didn't want to say no. So I said yes, and I followed her even though I wasn't really to sure how to eat that.

She led me to a small, warung tenda style with 0 hygine rating because it literally stands above ope sewer, though the seller close the sewer to act as floor, but still above open sewer.

Two bowl of soto that pre-mixed with rice served, and hesistantly, I sipping the broth, only eaten rice, bihun, the ayam suwir bits that aren't disgusting and left the toge alone. I remember she asked me: "Are you not gonna eat the toge?" which I answered, "No, I hate that."

Even though I didn't really enjoying that soto ayam lamongan, I keep say yes everytime she invited me to eat that. And unknowingly, my brains stops sabotaging me and let me enjoy another taste that wasn't chicken nuggets, and yes, finally, I have no problem eating toge anymore!

At that time, I wasn't pondering about this matter, but now at almost 24 years of age, I realized that was actually the turning point that shaped me in the future years to come.

So simple, the fact that I won't eat the toge that comes to Soto Ayam Lamongan, and the symbolize how I am really lucky, even though I was a really weird and awkward kid, I had people that willing to be my friends, accepting me, and thinking of me kindly enough to eat out together with them. Now, I am grateful that experience shaped me into the person I am now, the me that isn't so quick in saying no to food that I haven't taste before, even able to revisiting many food or drinks that in younger days put on the dislike list, but to my surprise, adult me developed the taste bud enough and end up enjoying it.

The taste of Soto Ayam Lamongan really put a deep mark in my javanese soul, and don't think anything would able to erase that out, no matter how many times bad and unsuitable soto ayam Lamongan I have eaten.

So understandbly and rightfully so I am really upset because nowadays, in this economy, soto ayam Lamongan are not the same anymore. Since 12 years since I tasted that perfect blend of soto ayam Lamongan I eaten with friends, I can't find the same quality almost anywhere.

I blame the economic impacting the portion of soto Lamongan being served. A full hard boiled egg in one portion of soto is rarity, I got half at best but more often a pathetic 1/8 egg slice found floating, and even though that toge is important part, that ingredient also often found missing in majority of soto I had. For the last complain, many seller also really being stingy by giving such a small portion of bihun that barely fulfilling enough or can't even be picked up with forks anymore, I had to scoop the bits of bihun using my spoon.

And that wrapping up my story of why soto ayam Lamongan is important part of my soul, and I wish our society and economy is well enough to be able serve a portion with full size boiled egg.

If anyone reading this, leave me a sign!

Yours truly, from Denpasar Barat, Bali.

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queeoretician · 11 months ago

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Thank you for saying this! I feel like the reading OP puts forward (a fairly common reading of John) misses a lot about the story, in a way that I find hard to make sense of.

It's absolutely true that the situation John was put in was a fucked up one. It's absolutely true that power has a corrupting influence on people. And there are definitely some wild bad-faith takes on his actions out there (cow wall discourse, I'm looking at you). But saying that it would require an unrealistically virtuous person to make better decisions in his place just seems flatly incorrect to me.

Let me state my position explicitly here: I do not believe that most human beings, put in John's situation, would choose to kill literally all life in the solar system to pursue vengeance against the trillionaires. His choice to destroy the world for vengeance was a choice, and one that other people in the narrative were begging him not to make.

There's a really haunting parallel between the NtN apocalypse scene (p. 310):

N— was all, It’s not going to work. This is going to end with the ships launching and G— getting shot, and you’re going to kill millions of people for nothing. We followed you to save the world. I said, We’re doing that. This is how we save the world. Believe me. C— said, John, your problem is that you care less about being a saviour than you do about meting out punishment. I said, C—, I was just your best man! C— said, You still are. That doesn’t change the fact that you can be quite the most appallingly vindictive person I have ever met.

and the HtN funeral scene (p. 94):

“[…] I never saw her cry except once,” she added in a pointless rush. “The day after. When we put together the research. When she became a Lyctor. I said, There was no alternative. She said…” [...] She cleared her throat: “She said, We had the choice to stop.”

In both cases, the text deliberately draws our attention to the fact that what happened was the result of choices these people made, and that they could reasonably have chosen otherwise. And our story is about the millennia-long consequences of those choices.

I also think that the John-was-doing-his-best reading fails to engage with the role that patriarchy plays in the story.

Given the pervasive misogyny displayed towards Mercymorn in HtN, I really don't think it's fair to give John credit for M—'s insistence on reproductive justice in the cryo project.

More significantly (and unpleasantly), a major thread through HtN and NtN is of John (metaphorically) grooming/sexually abusing Harrow and Alecto. Better meta-writers than me have discussed this at length (familyabolisher here; sophelstein here and here; CW rape & incest on all those links), but for our purposes it's sufficient to say that John calling Alecto "Annabel Lee" is a reference to Lolita, and one that tazmuir (herself a child sexual abuse survivor) has also made in her pre-TLT writing.

This paints the idea of John loving the earth/Alecto in a much darker light, and reinforces the parallels between John's post-Resurrection colonial project and real-world colonialism's imposition of patriarchal social structures (mentioned around the 10 minute mark of this Philosophy Tube video). It's not that it's easy to villainise John because he's a man - him being a man is intrinsically tied up in the harm that he does to our (overwhelmingly female) cast.

Aside: I don't have any good theories about why tazmuir chose for her sexual-abuser villain to be Māori, and I'm a little uncomfortable with this choice as it stands, but that doesn't make his actions within the story any more excusable.

So to sum up: John made extremely harmful choices even when people around him asked him to choose differently, and he is intertextually positioned as the perpetrator of patriarchal violence. Based on this, I don't find OP's reading (that anyone else in John's situation would have done just as much harm) to be credible.

(As rotationalsymmetry said above, I don't want this to be taken as an attack on or moral judgment of people who subscribe to John-sympathetic readings of the series. For me, a big part of the horror of NtN was the realisation that this character who had been built up as sympathetic was lying about a bunch of stuff all along. But I do think that these readings are substantively incorrect, and that they do a disservice to tazmuir's phenomenal writing, particularly around narrator unreliability.)

I think what bothers me most about how John is talked about in the fandom is the implication that a different (implied: better) person would've done things differently and somehow more right than he did.

When the text goes to lengths to explore how suddenly coming into an incredible amount of power in a fatally constrained situation cannot lead to a good outcome.

If you're putting John in dialogue with the concept of the "magical girl", which Muir has said he is (a little tongue in cheek, but)--these are young, often profoundly unready people, who often get taken advantage of by the people who give them their powers. And like, yes, John is not a teenager, but I think that's part of the point, is that at no point is a person really prepared to become as powerful as he did--even before he merged with Alecto. Even when he was fully in control of his powers, even when they were given with honest intent and trust, even when he used them with the best of intentions and tried to do the right thing, there was no way for him to be prepared, especially given the situation he was in.

And it's funny to talk about how bad John must be in bed, but also, this isn't a scenario where John is some self-deluding Elon Musk-like villain or loser. He is genuinely trying to do the right thing, in terms of rescuing the Earth's population, rescuing the Earth Herself, and doing it ethically (see: M--'s insistence that they perfect the cryo containers until they could transport pregnant women).

I really do think this is something people are blocking out, because it is one of the uncomfortable parts of Muir's message with the series. But ESPECIALLY because the people "critiquing" him as an embodiment of patriarchy and empire are failing to see that part of Muir's critique is of human vulnerability to power: That is, that power corrupts.

And this even has echoes with Gideon & Harrow's story! Harrow begins the series in a deeply unequal dynamic with Gideon! And she does horrible things, not just because she is traumatized, but because she is traumatized and has the power to act her desires out on Gideon. She might have the motive (trauma), but that's not enough without the means (power).

And, yeah, I do have a semi-salty angle on this because people are frequently loath to think critically not just about axes of oppression but individual relationships of power when it applies to them and to people they like. ESPECIALLY when there is a very vocal segment of the fandom that is enthusiastically pro-harassment. It's very convenient to villainize John and actively dis-identify with him, because otherwise, you'd have to face the question of whether you'd do any better in his place. But the thing is, the mission of revenge he embarks on is a lot closer to many peoples' hearts than they'd like to consider.

That's the whole point.

#“guys as careful as me don't have accidents” is a deeply chilling line even though I don't really care about him killing those cops #the locked tomb #tlt #tlt meta #tlt spoilers

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