#it’s like you’re not even there. they’re very self-centered and self-involved.

[gutrotpoem]

Yeah. Cool.

[fangdokja]

The sweetest kisses are often the most dangerous.

❤︎ Synopsis. Your best friend has always been your safe haven—until his touch lingers too long, his words drip with unspoken threats, and you realize too late that safety was never part of his plan.

♡ Book. World Ablaze (WA): For You, I'd Burn the World.

♡ Pairing. Yandere! Light Yagami x Fem. Reader

♡ Novella. In the Name of Love - Part 2

♡ Word Count. 7,794

♡ TW. dom + top + older yandere, general non-con, possessiveness, psychological manipulation and conditioning, suggestive themes, fear play, emotional manipulation and abuse, isolation, monitoring, lack of boundaries, non-con kissing and/or touching, forced relationship, BDSM, manipulation of circumstances, abandonment issues, angst + tragedy, gaslighting

♡ Note. Due to Tumblr content guidelines involving minors, some plot details of the original story were changed to fit the platform. If you want the true original story, please look at the author's official website or Ao3.

♡ A/N. This is a request, but I have not yet fulfilled the full request (hence the lack of proof of request). This turned out better than I thought it would. No explicit stuff yet, but the subtly of it? Yeahh.

Once you finally became of age, it brought with it a new set of challenges—and some old, familiar dynamics. Light Yagami, your self-proclaimed best friend and eternal tormentor, had somehow grown into the golden child of your school. Teachers adored him, parents praised him, and students—especially the girls—flocked to him like moths to a flame.

You, on the other hand, remained firmly in your lane. A slacker by nature and a ‘loser’ by reputation, you floated through school just barely scraping by. Your grades hovered just above the failing mark, your desk was perpetually cluttered, and your teachers sighed in resignation every time you turned in a half-finished worksheet.

“How are you two even friends?” became a question whispered in every corner of the school.

———

Light, of course, handled his popularity with the effortless charm he’d always had. Girls left love notes in his locker, baked him cookies, and blushed when he smiled their way. He’d already received more confessions than most people would in a lifetime.

“Another one?” you’d ask flatly whenever he showed you a new letter, scrawled in pink ink and dotted with hearts.

“They’re very persistent,” he’d say with a smirk, tucking the letter away. “You jealous?”

“Not even remotely,” you replied, your attention already back on the handheld game console in your lap. “Have fun with your fan club, Your Highness.”

———

For a while, Light balanced his new relationships with his time spent with you. He’d date the occasional girl, give her his full attention for a while, then inevitably move on when the novelty wore off.

“Why do you even bother?” you asked once, sprawled on the grass during one of your cloud-watching sessions.

“Because it’s good practice,” he replied matter-of-factly, hands tucked behind his head as he stared at the sky.

“Practice?”

“For social dynamics,” he explained. “Understanding how people think, what they want, and how to navigate their expectations. It’s useful.”

“You sound like a robot,” you said, unimpressed.

Light smirked. “You’re just mad I’m right.”

———

When the girls dragged him away, as they often did, you were left to your own devices. You didn’t mind—at least, that’s what you told yourself. It wasn’t like you’d ever been the center of attention, anyway. Loneliness wasn’t new to you; it was just an old companion that came and went as it pleased.

You filled the time with your usual distractions: gaming, reading, cloud watching, and sketching mindless doodles in the margins of your notebooks. Sometimes, you’d overhear whispers about Light and his admirers, but you tuned them out.

“Why don’t you go after him?” someone asked you once, their tone half-curious, half-mocking.

You didn’t even look up. “Because I’m not an idiot.”

———

Despite the distance his popularity sometimes created, Light always found his way back to you. When the crowds cleared and the noise died down, it was the two of you again—two opposites bound by years of shared history.

One evening, as you both sat in your room playing video games, he glanced over at you and said, “You’re not mad about the other girls, right?”

“Why would I be mad?” you replied, not taking your eyes off the screen. “You’re Light Yagami, the golden child. Go do your thing. I’m good.”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. Then, with a small smirk, he said, “You’re impossible, you know that?”

You grinned. “Takes one to know one.”

No matter how far his orbit expanded, Light always seemed to come back to you. And though you’d never say it out loud, you were glad he did.

────────────

From Light Yagami’s perspective, life was predictable—and predictably successful. He was the golden child, the perfect student, the center of admiration. People hung on his every word, sought his approval, and envied his effortless excellence. For the most part, it was satisfying. Life unfolded as it should, meticulously planned and executed.

But then there was you.

His so-called best friend, the antithesis of everything he represented. Lazy, unmotivated, and perpetually on the fringes of mediocrity. Despite your differences, you were always there—silent, sarcastic, yet strangely dependable in a way he couldn’t quite define. It wasn’t something he thought about too often. You were just…you.

Until the day he noticed you staring.

———

It was during lunch, an ordinary afternoon where Light was half-listening to the chatter of his friends while methodically organizing his notes for the next class. His focus should’ve been on the conversation, but his gaze flickered to you, seated a few tables away as usual.

You were always in the corner, avoiding attention, engrossed in some book or game. But today, your attention wasn’t on the usual distractions. It was on him.

Not Light. Not one of his admirers. No, your focus was fixed on a scrawny, nervous wreck of a kid seated a few tables over.

The boy was all sharp angles and awkward movements, perpetually hunched over as though trying to shrink into himself. Light recognized him vaguely—a shy, nerdy kid who tripped over his own words whenever called upon. Nothing remarkable.

Yet, you watched him.

Not with mockery or disdain, but with something quieter, more intent. You weren’t laughing, whispering, or rolling your eyes like most people would. You just…observed.

It unsettled Light in a way he couldn’t immediately place.

———

Later, as he packed his bag and prepared for the next class, Light’s thoughts returned to that scene. He prided himself on his ability to read people, to predict their behavior and motivations. And yet, he had no explanation for your interest in that boy.

He brushed it off initially. What did it matter? You were free to stare at whoever you wanted.

But the image lingered, uninvited, in his mind: the distant look in your eyes, the way your usually indifferent demeanor softened just slightly.

He frowned, closing his notebook with a bit more force than necessary.

———

The following week, he started paying more attention. It was subtle—Light was nothing if not discreet—but he kept you in his peripheral vision whenever he could.

And there it was again.

That same quiet, almost contemplative look as you glanced at the boy in question.

Light found himself growing irritated, though he couldn’t pinpoint why. It wasn’t like he cared who you watched. You had your own life, and he had his.

So why did it bother him?

———

He thought back to the countless times he’d teased you about being jealous of his popularity, the playful smirk on his face as he’d waved off another confession or accepted a gift from yet another admirer. You never cared. Not once.

It had been mildly disappointing, in retrospect. He’d thought it might get a rise out of you, but you never so much as flinched.

Yet here you were, paying attention to some no-name boy like he was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Light’s fingers tightened around the strap of his bag. It didn’t make sense.

Not yet, at least. But Light Yagami didn’t like questions without answers.

He decided then and there that he’d find out what had caught your attention—and why it left him feeling so uncharacteristically unsettled.

────────────

Light never let himself get too attached to anything, at least not to the point where it would affect his plans. He had control over his emotions—he had to. And yet, as he watched you sit with Ethan, that crack in his composed facade began to form, slowly but surely.

It was subtle at first. The boy, Ethan, always seemed to be at the edges of Light's awareness, always there when Light was distracted by his admirers or lost in his own thoughts. But this was different.

You didn’t just sit with him. You spent time with him. You helped him with his homework. You joked around with him in the way you never did with anyone else. You went out of your way to keep him company at lunch, when no one else would. You, who had always kept your distance, kept your circle small—yet now you were investing time in him of all people.

And Light hated it.

There was no reason for it. It didn’t make sense. Ethan wasn’t even someone worth considering. He was shy, weak, and socially awkward. Everything about him screamed mediocrity, the kind of person who would never stand out, never make anything of themselves. So why? Why were you helping him? Why were you treating him like he mattered?

Light had always been the one to push you, to help you improve, to get you to rise above your own mediocrity. He'd worked tirelessly to shape you, to make you better. And now, here you were, giving that same attention—your valuable attention—to someone who didn’t even deserve it.

But then, as he continued to observe you two from the sidelines, the truth started to unfold, albeit in a way that made him recoil. He couldn’t stop it from clicking into place. You didn’t see Ethan for what he was now. You saw him for what you used to be.

He reminded you of yourself.

The realization hit Light like a wave. You hadn’t always been the person you were today—motivated, sharp, and at least somewhat capable. No, you’d been the same kind of outcast Ethan was now. Alone. Invisible.

And you saw a part of yourself in him, that small, quiet echo of who you used to be.

You wanted to help him. You had to help him.

Light would have expected a feeling of satisfaction, even a touch of flattery. After all, you cherished your experiences with Light enough to want to help someone like Ethan, someone who reminded you of the person Light had pulled you from. But it didn’t feel like that. It didn’t feel warm or appreciative. It felt... cold. It felt harsh and bitter, like the sting of jealousy he’d never fully acknowledged before.

Why? Why was it this way? Why didn’t he feel proud that you were helping someone who could never repay you?

He hated it. He hated how it made him feel, how his thoughts twisted and spiraled into something darker.

———

Light tried to keep himself composed, but it was becoming more difficult. As the days passed, and he saw more of you with Ethan, that unease continued to eat at him. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it was growing harder to ignore.

If he confronted you about it, it would mean acknowledging something he wasn’t ready to face. Something he couldn’t process. He wanted to think it was just about Ethan. But deep down, Light knew it wasn’t. He knew it wasn’t about the boy at all. It was about you—and the way you were slipping further away from him.

He was jealous.

It was ridiculous. He of all people, jealous of someone like Ethan?

But he couldn’t ignore it. It hurt.

So, he buried it. He buried it like everything else—like the ambition he’d always kept under wraps, like grand plans where he couldn’t afford to falter. He buried it deep down, pretending it didn’t bother him, pretending that you could still be his, that your attention was his, even as you drifted to someone else.

There were moments when he almost confronted you, asked you why you were so hell-bent on helping someone so insignificant, but he held back. Instead, he bit his tongue, letting the resentment simmer inside, like a serpent coiling around his thoughts.

It was a feeling he couldn’t quite place, but one he couldn’t escape. And for once in his life, he hated not having control over it.

────────────

It had been a month, a whole month, of Light trying his best to suppress the gnawing frustration and resentment. On the surface, life carried on as usual—he kept up his studies, dated other people, spent time with you, pretended everything was fine. It was routine. Everything was routine. But underneath, something had shifted. Something that made everything feel hollow.

He’d watched Ethan grow in confidence, all because of you. He couldn’t deny it. Ethan had improved significantly—he spoke up more, stood taller, even started getting more attention from others. And Light hated it. Hated how he had been replaced, how your attention, once reserved for him, was now shared with Ethan.

You didn’t even notice, though. You were too absorbed in your "little project," as you called it. You genuinely wanted to help Ethan, and it was clear to everyone, Light included, that you had. You were kind to him in a way you had never been with anyone else, and though it made Light’s stomach churn, he couldn’t argue with the results. Ethan had gone from an anxious, nervous wreck to someone who could hold a conversation, someone who felt like he had a place in the world.

But all of that—the improvement, the attention, the support—it was nothing compared to the point of no return.

The moment it all cracked open for Light was when he saw Ethan, of all people, trying to kiss you. Trying to confess to you. In that moment, every bit of control Light had over his emotions snapped. All of the jealousy, all of the uncertainty, the fear that he might lose you to someone else, came crashing down in a split second.

Ethan had moved closer to you, his hand reaching out toward your face. You were looking at him in that quiet, gentle way you always did when you were being supportive, completely unaware of how things had changed. Light’s heart raced, his chest tight, suffocating with a mix of jealousy and... something deeper. Something he couldn’t ignore anymore.

Without thinking, he moved. He didn’t care how it looked, didn’t care that it would make him seem possessive or irrational. He couldn’t let this go any further. Not now, not when he hadn’t even had the chance to process it himself.

“Hey,” Light’s voice was sharp, cutting through the tension between you and Ethan. His hand shot out to grab Ethan’s wrist before it could get any closer. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Ethan recoiled slightly, a mix of confusion and disappointment flashing across his face. You looked between the two of them, still unaware of what had just happened.

“Light?” you said, voice confused. “What’s going on?”

Light forced a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. He tried to maintain his usual cool demeanor, tried to act like nothing was wrong, but his mind was racing. His heart was pounding in his chest. “Nothing,” he said smoothly, his voice casual. “I just thought it was a little too soon. You don’t have to rush things with him, do you?”

He kept his gaze on Ethan, the mask of indifference slipping in place. It was all too easy to be the confident, charismatic Light Yagami in front of others, but inside, something was boiling. He wasn’t ready to admit it—not to you, not to himself—but it was there. A slow-burning ache. The realization that he might actually care more than he’d allowed himself to believe.

And he hated it. Hated how unstable it made him.

You seemed to brush it off, distracted by the sudden interruption, and shifted your focus back to the situation at hand, oblivious to the internal war happening inside him. Light gave Ethan one final look, sharp and piercing, before letting go of his wrist, silently warning him to back off.

“Let’s get back to work,” Light said, his voice cool and collected, as if nothing had happened. His smile was back, a perfect mask to hide what was really going on. “There’s no need for any of that, alright?”

Ethan nodded, visibly uncomfortable, and after a moment, he stepped away. Light watched him leave, his gaze lingering a little too long, as if to make sure Ethan didn’t try anything else.

When the two of you were alone again, Light tried to act normal. He even teased you lightly about it, making some comment about how you were apparently too irresistible for Ethan. But beneath it all, the feeling stayed with him, thick and suffocating. The truth was there, buried deep inside.

He wasn’t ready to face it. He wasn’t ready to admit it to you. But Light was starting to realize just how much you meant to him. And for the first time, he wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

So, he buried it again. He kept the mask in place. He pretended it was just a moment of concern, just a protective instinct over his best friend. He’d dealt with worse. He’d always dealt with worse.

But as the days went by, the pressure continued to mount. And no matter how hard he tried to push it down, that little crack inside him was only getting wider.

────────────

Light was a master of subtlety, an architect of unseen movements in the intricate game of social dynamics. He didn’t need to manipulate overtly—he understood that power wasn’t in direct control, but in the delicate nudging of events, in guiding people without them ever realizing they were being guided. And so, when it came to you and Ethan, he did what he did best: he bent the circumstances in his favor without ever leaving a trace.

It started with a casual observation. Light knew that Ethan’s new-found confidence, while refreshing, was also a weakness. The more he was validated by his peers and admired by the girls in school, the more distracted he became. He was no longer the shy, introverted kid, but a rising star in a social hierarchy that was just as demanding as it was fickle. And that, in Light’s mind, was his opportunity.

It wasn’t enough to push Ethan directly. That would have been too obvious, too aggressive, and would only serve to make Ethan wary, perhaps even resentful. Instead, Light did what he always did: he stayed in the background, gently adjusting things without ever touching them directly.

———

One afternoon, Light invited Ethan to study at his house, a seemingly innocuous gathering. It wasn’t that Light wanted to help him with his homework—he was smarter than that. No, he invited Ethan because he knew exactly who else would be there.

“You should join us,” Light had said, his tone casual but with a hidden undercurrent of suggestion. “I’ve got some friends coming over. A few people from our class, actually. I’m sure you’ll enjoy their company.”

Ethan, eager for approval, agreed without hesitation. And when he arrived, he was greeted by not just a group of classmates but also a few girls from your year—girls who Light had carefully cultivated an interest in Ethan. They were charming and confident, just the kind of people who would make Ethan feel special, like he was part of a social circle he’d only just begun to enter.

Light watched with quiet satisfaction as the evening unfolded. He knew that Ethan, although still somewhat socially awkward, would be swept up in the flattery, in the attention from the girls. He would find himself caught up in their world, a world that was fast and shallow and entirely separate from the quiet, introspective world you inhabited.

But Light wasn’t finished yet.

———

The next day, when Ethan and you were supposed to meet for a study session, Light intervened once more, subtly inserting himself into the equation. He casually mentioned that Ethan was already busy with other plans.

“I’m sure Ethan has his hands full,” Light had said with that same detached, almost apologetic tone. “He’s got a lot going on with his new... friends, after all. It’s good for him.”

You had simply nodded, the familiar pang of abandonment not even worth acknowledging. Light could see the slight drop in your expression, the way your shoulders slumped imperceptibly. But he didn’t act on it immediately. No, he needed you to feel like you had no other choice, that it was just a natural consequence of the circumstances.

And as the days passed, Light continued to keep Ethan distracted. More invitations, more group activities, more of those seemingly innocent social events. He made sure Ethan was always busy, always surrounded by people who pulled him in different directions. He could feel Ethan growing more distant, his once-deep friendship with you fading into the background as he became more absorbed in his new social circle.

———

On the surface, nothing changed. You two continued to hang out, study, talk. But Light knew. He knew that you were slowly becoming aware of the shift, of Ethan’s increasing distance. And that’s when Light did what he did best—he made sure you still felt like you had him.

One evening, after Ethan had canceled another plan with you, Light casually invited you over to his place, no agenda, no ulterior motive—just two friends spending time together. But Light’s manipulation wasn’t about grand gestures. It was in the small things.

He’d set up a video game session, one of your favorites, and while you played, he would drop little hints, reminders that you were the one he always came back to. He never let the topic of Ethan come up, choosing instead to distract you with conversations about your interests, your hobbies, things you hadn’t realized you’d been missing. Subtly, quietly, Light reminded you of your place in his life. You were the constant, the one who always remained, the one who didn’t leave.

———

When you finally admitted your inner thoughts to Light, he didn’t show much reaction at first. He kept his calm, his cold indifference.

“It’s a bit sad,” you’d said, your tone light, almost detached, as if you didn’t want to admit how much it stung. “But I’m not too sad. I’m used to it.”

Light, the ever-constant figure in your life, simply nodded. “Yeah. I get it.”

But it wasn’t just that. Not for you. You had always been prepared for this moment. Prepared for the day Ethan would outgrow you, for the day he would soar to greater heights. You had always been alone in that way, haven’t you? You knew how to let go.

And that’s when Light’s grip on you tightened, though you didn’t fully realize it. He was the only one who came back to you, the only one who had never truly left. He was the constant in your life, no matter what came and went. He was the one who always returned.

You couldn’t quite explain it, but something about that—the fact that no matter how many people came and went in your life, Light was always there—comforted you. And maybe that’s why, deep down, you never questioned his actions. You never thought to look at the situation from a different perspective, to wonder why Light was so intent on keeping you around, when you were used to being discarded so easily by others.

You saw the change in Ethan, sure. You saw the way his life had shifted, how he had grown. But that didn’t mean you resented him. You never did. You were prepared to let him go if it was what was best for him, just like you had done for everyone else.

But Light? He never let go. Not completely. And you never had to ask why.

────────────

The evening was peaceful, the kind of calm routine you had come to expect when it was just you and Light. The house was quiet save for the faint sounds of clicking buttons as you both battled through another video game session, your focus entirely on the screen. You didn’t need to speak much to him—nothing ever felt awkward when it was just the two of you. It was always comfortable, always predictable, until it wasn’t.

As you took a break to rest your fingers, Light leaned back against the couch, looking at you in a way that made your stomach tighten. His gaze was uncharacteristically serious, and there was something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite read. For a moment, you wondered if he was going to start one of his usual philosophical tangents or give one of his self-imposed lectures on some obscure topic. But when he finally spoke, his voice was steady, and there was no trace of teasing or sarcasm.

“Can I kiss you?” Light asked, his words blunt and direct.

You blinked, not immediately reacting. It was such an out-of-place comment that it took a few seconds for it to register. You raised an eyebrow, your fingers still hovering over the game controller. You were certain he couldn’t be serious—Light was always surrounded by a revolving door of girlfriends and admirers. He was practically a Casanova, after all.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” you asked, still unsure whether he was joking or not. You didn’t want to entertain it, but the sheer randomness of his question caught your attention.

Light didn’t miss a beat. ���I broke up with her.”

You shook your head at the nonchalance in his voice, thinking about how many times you had seen him casually switch partners in the past. It was never a surprise. Light was always the one in control, always the one who seemed to be in charge of everyone and everything, and you had learned long ago that his romantic entanglements were always temporary distractions.

“You really are a Casanova, huh?” you muttered under your breath, continuing to focus on the game as your thumb pressed the button to start the next round.

Light smirked, but there was something different in his expression, something that made the usual cockiness feel almost forced. His eyes were still locked onto you, and there was an intensity there that you hadn’t noticed before.

“I’ve been saving my first kiss for you,” he said, the words so calm, so matter-of-fact, that it almost sounded rehearsed.

You paused mid-game, your thumb stilling on the controller. You turned to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What? Why?”

“It’s simple,” he said, his voice softer now, but still carrying that logical, detached tone. “You’re the one who matters the most. You’ve always been there. Everyone else is just a distraction.”

His words hit you like a strange mix of sincerity and something else you couldn’t quite place. He had always been there for you, the constant in your life, the one person who had stuck by you through everything, despite all the weirdness of life. But as his gaze lingered on you, something felt different. There was a weight in the air, an expectation you hadn’t noticed before.

You didn’t immediately respond, unsure how to take his words. You glanced at him, brow furrowed. “Are you serious? You’re asking me this now?”

Light leaned in slightly, his voice dropping into a softer tone, the edges of his usual confidence giving way to something quieter. “I know you don’t get caught up in emotions. You’ve never been the type to care about that kind of thing. But... I’ve been feeling things, and I think you should too.”

There was something almost... resigned in his words, as though he had been carrying a burden for a while. The way he spoke wasn’t forceful, but there was a subtle gravity to it, like he was simply revealing something long kept beneath the surface.

“You know,” he continued, his voice becoming even more subdued, “I’ve always been here for you. But you’ve been spending so much time with Ethan lately. Helping him out, giving him your attention...” He paused, just long enough to let the silence fill the space. “I couldn’t help but wonder why.”

You hadn’t realized how much he had been observing, how much he had noticed. You always thought things were just as they were—Light and you, close as ever. It had never seemed like there was more to it, never something to question. But hearing his words now, there was an unfamiliar sting that gnawed at you.

“You’ve always had me,” Light added, his gaze steady, though there was something new, something deeper in it now. “And I’ve always made sure to be there. I guess I just... I never thought you’d be so busy with other people.”

It wasn’t blame, exactly. It was just the way he said it—like an old truth suddenly reexamined. He never demanded your attention before, never pushed for it. But now, in this moment, it felt as if he was trying to help you see something you might have missed.

“I should’ve said something earlier, but... I guess I was too focused on being there for you.” His words hung in the air, as if he was unburdening himself of something that had long been kept quiet. “Maybe... maybe I didn’t want to admit that I’ve always been waiting for you to notice.”

Your chest tightened, the weight of his quiet confession pressing on you. You had always been so focused on helping Ethan, on seeing his progress, that you hadn’t realized how much Light had been in the background, how much he had been giving without asking for anything in return. His presence had always felt constant, like a backdrop to your life, never demanding, always patient.

He shifted closer, his voice lowering even further. “So... can I kiss you? I’ve been waiting for this.”

———

As Light’s words lingered in the air, you felt a strange pull in your chest, a mix of confusion and guilt that twisted deeper with each passing second. His gaze was steady, unwavering, as if he had already anticipated your hesitation. You had always trusted him, relied on him, and the thought of disappointing him—of not recognizing what he had done for you—felt like an unbearable weight.

But still, you couldn’t shake the uncertainty that gnawed at you. Something didn’t sit right, not entirely. But when Light spoke again, his tone soft yet somehow firm, you couldn’t ignore it.

“You’ve always had me,” he repeated, his voice more intimate now, like a whispered confession. “I’ve always been here for you. And maybe that’s why... it’s so hard for me to see you with someone else, giving all your attention to Ethan, when I’ve given you everything. When I’ve always been here, waiting for you.”

There it was—the subtle shift in his words, the quiet insinuation. The way he made it seem like you owed him something, like you hadn’t truly appreciated everything he had done. And it worked. The guilt bubbled up inside you, slowly at first, but it soon filled every inch of your chest, clouding your thoughts.

His eyes softened, his voice quieter now. “I don’t want to make you feel bad... but I can’t help how I feel. And I’ve always been there for you, through everything.”

The logic, the gentle push—it was all so subtle, so carefully calculated that you barely even realized how much it was affecting you. You didn’t want to hurt him, didn’t want to make him feel neglected or unimportant. And the truth was, you hadn’t thought about him the way you should have, not in this sense.

The thought of him hurting, of him feeling left behind, sent a pang of guilt through you. Wasn’t he always there for you? Wasn’t he your best friend? And hadn’t he given you so much, asking for nothing in return? How could you not see that he needed something from you too?

You swallowed hard, feeling as if you were cornered, though he had never raised his voice. You met his gaze, and the weight of everything—his words, his feelings, the years of friendship—pressed down on you. Maybe, just maybe, you could give him this, just this once.

“Okay,” you muttered, almost too quietly, nodding in agreement, though you weren’t entirely sure why. “Okay, Light.”

His eyes brightened, as if he had been waiting for you to finally understand, to finally see what he had been trying to show you all along. And before you could think any further, before you could change your mind, he closed the distance between you, his lips pressing against yours with a fervor that surprised you.

The kiss was hard, intense—far more passionate than anything you had ever imagined from Light. His lips parted, and before you could react, his tongue slipped into your mouth, coaxing you deeper into the kiss. His hands, once casual and comforting, were now firm, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

You tried to pull back, to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions that were suddenly flooding your senses, but he was relentless, his grip tightening around you as he deepened the kiss, pouring out all his hidden feelings in the act. There was a rawness to it that unsettled you, a sense of desperation that didn’t feel like the Light you knew.

“Don’t pull away,” he murmured, his lips brushing against yours as he kissed you harder, more urgently. “I’ve waited too long for this.”

You struggled, your hands pressing against his chest in an attempt to create space between you. But his hold was unyielding, his mouth determined as he kissed you more forcefully, his body pressing you back into the couch. The more you tried to push him away, the more he responded, tightening his grip, kissing you with an intensity that left you breathless.

It was like he was trying to make you feel every ounce of what he had been holding back all this time—the possessiveness, the longing, the unspoken need. You couldn’t escape the feeling that this wasn’t just about a kiss. It was about something deeper, something he wasn’t willing to admit, and for some reason, you were caught in the middle of it all.

Your heart pounded, your breath quickening as you tried to regain control, but it felt impossible. Every time you thought you might push him away, his presence swallowed you whole, and you found yourself trapped in the moment, uncertain of where it was going or what it meant.

And in the chaos of it all, you couldn’t help but wonder: Had you just given in to something you weren’t ready for?

———

The kiss seemed to stretch on forever, the force of it stealing your breath and leaving you spinning. Light’s lips were desperate, hungry—each movement sending a storm of emotions through you, making it hard to think clearly. His hands were unrelenting, pulling you closer as if he needed you to be closer than ever before, and you couldn’t tell if you were suffocating or if it was just the intensity of the moment.

But just as you thought you might lose yourself entirely, Light finally broke the kiss. His lips lingered near yours, a soft breath escaping him as he pulled away slightly. His eyes were wide, almost unsteady, and there was a flush on his cheeks, a vulnerability you hadn’t expected. He looked at you, a mix of guilt and something softer in his gaze, almost as if he had been holding something back for far too long.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Light’s voice was low, softer than you had ever heard it. The usual confidence was gone, replaced by something raw and apologetic. He reached up, his fingers brushing lightly over your cheek as if trying to make sure you were still there. “I just... I’ve wanted this for so long. Wanted you to know how I feel. But I didn’t want to push you, didn’t want to scare you off.”

You could barely breathe, the rush of emotions still flooding your chest. But his words, the way he spoke—so calm, so seemingly vulnerable—made it harder to argue with. He was always in control, always the one who seemed so certain about everything. But now, he seemed... different. More human. More real.

“I know you care about Ethan,” Light continued, his voice growing quieter, almost like he was confessing a long-hidden secret. “But you’ve always been my person. And I can’t just keep pretending that it’s okay to watch you give all your attention to someone else. I can’t do that anymore.” His gaze softened, and he let out a slow, shaky breath. “I’ve always been here for you, through everything, and I’ll always be here for you. But you need to know that I need you too.”

Your chest tightened, a mixture of guilt and confusion flooding you. You had always relied on Light, always seen him as the constant in your life—the one person who never faltered. But now, with him standing so close, his eyes filled with emotion, it felt like he was asking for something that you didn’t know how to give.

“It’s just hard, you know?” he went on, his voice softer, almost as if he were talking to himself. “I never wanted to make you feel pressured, never wanted you to think I needed something from you. But I’ve been waiting for you to see it... to see me. The way I see you.”

His words stung, a sharp reminder that maybe you had been blind to his feelings, had never really considered how deeply Light had been there for you. His presence, his care—it had always been so constant that you never thought of it as anything other than friendship. But now, hearing him speak so openly, it felt like you had missed something, like you had failed to notice the depth of his emotions.

“I’m sorry,” he added, his hand moving to cup your face gently. “I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. How much I’ve been there for you. You’re my everything, you know that?”

You couldn’t help but soften, despite the overwhelming swirl of emotions inside you. He was right about one thing—he had always been there for you, through every up and down. He had given you so much without asking for anything in return. Couldn’t you just give him this? Couldn’t you show him the same loyalty, the same devotion he had shown you?

“I know I’ve been selfish,” Light continued, his voice thick with emotion now. “I didn’t want to admit it, but I’ve always needed you, and I can’t pretend that I don’t anymore.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. His words were so soft, so raw—something about the vulnerability in his tone made it hard to keep your walls up. He was your best friend. He had always been there, a steady force in your life. How could you not want to give him this?

“I’m not asking for anything big,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just want you to see me. To know how much I care. To know that... I’ve always cared.”

Your heart clenched as the weight of his words settled over you, and despite the uncertainty swirling in your mind, you nodded slowly. You could never refuse him. Not Light. Not when he had always been your constant, the one person who had never wavered in his loyalty.

“I... I do care about you, Light,” you murmured, your voice barely audible.

He smiled softly, almost sadly, as if he had expected something like that, as if he had known you would give in.

“I just needed you to understand,” he whispered, leaning in again, this time his touch gentler, more tender, as he kissed you once more.

You closed your eyes, letting yourself be swept away by the warmth of his lips, the tenderness of his touch. Even as doubt whispered in the back of your mind, telling you that something wasn’t quite right, you buried it deep. After all, Light was your best friend. The one person who had always been there for you. You couldn’t turn away from him now, not after everything he had done.

And so, despite the confusion, despite the overwhelming swirl of emotions, you let yourself fall into the kiss, letting the weight of his presence consume you. Because in the end, he was the one constant in your life. And to you, that meant everything.

────────────

As Light’s lips moved against yours, his touch became softer, more controlled, though the intensity beneath the surface didn’t waver. When he finally pulled away, he didn’t let go. Instead, he wrapped his arms tightly around you, drawing you into an embrace so firm it felt like he was trying to fuse your body with his. His chin rested against your shoulder, his face buried in the curve of your neck, inhaling deeply, almost reverently.

The scent of you—natural and subtle, like soft florals—flooded his senses, grounding him in a way he hadn’t anticipated. His grip tightened for just a moment, and though you couldn’t see his face, there was an unguarded smile stretching far too wide, twisted in its elation. Ah. Finally. This feels so good. So perfect.

He allowed himself one long, slow breath, savoring every second of having you in his arms. His face remained hidden, safely tucked away where you couldn’t see the mask slip, where you couldn’t catch the flicker of something far darker than the tenderness he pretended to offer. His voice, when it came, was warm and light, the perfect mimicry of someone lovestruck. “I’ve waited so long for this,” he murmured, pressing his lips lightly against your temple. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

But inside, his thoughts were far from gentle.

Calm down, Light. Don’t ruin this. Not yet. She’s not ready. He had to physically restrain himself, fingers digging into your back to keep his hands steady. The urge to take, to claim, to make you entirely his surged like wildfire, burning away the edges of his composure. Not yet. You’ll ruin everything if you move too fast.

Your naivety was what made you so precious. You were brilliant in your own way—smarter than him in certain areas, even—but socially? Oh, you were practically a child, stumbling blindly through interactions while he played the perfect friend, the perfect protector. And you trusted him so implicitly. That’s your greatest weakness. You trust me.

His mind was a whirl of strategies and calculations, and all of them led to the same conclusion: you were his, and you always had been. It was simply a matter of time before you realized it too. If he had to break you, mold you, and piece you back together to make you understand, then so be it. He would do it slowly, carefully, ensuring you never saw the cracks in his façade.

You think you’re safe with me. The thought was almost laughable, sending a ripple of satisfaction through him as he tightened his embrace. You don’t realize how deep you’ve already fallen into this. How much I’ve shaped your life to keep you close. But that’s okay. You’ll understand soon enough.

He could feel the heat of your skin against his, hear the soft hitch in your breathing, and it made him drunk with control. He’d never felt calmer, never felt more in command of himself. Every step from here on out was carefully planned, meticulously crafted to lead you exactly where he wanted you. There was no need to rush.

I’ll break you, little by little. But you won’t even notice, will you? You’ll think I’m helping you, protecting you. And when there’s nothing left of the girl who thought she could exist without me, you’ll thank me for it.

You stirred slightly in his hold, and for a moment, he almost let his grip slip—almost let his hunger get the better of him. But he reined himself in, forcing his breathing to slow, forcing the wicked grin on his face to soften into something fond. His lips brushed against your neck, leaving a featherlight kiss that made you shiver, though you didn’t pull away.

“I won’t let you go,” he whispered, his voice so soft and tender that it sent a pang of guilt through you for even considering doubting him. “I’ll always take care of you. I promise.”

And he meant it. Oh, he meant it in every twisted sense of the word. You were his to care for, to cherish, to love. And if caring for you meant destroying every piece of independence you had, if cherishing you meant breaking you down until you couldn’t live without him, then that was exactly what he would do.

Because to him, you weren’t just the person he loved. You were his purpose, his possession, his world. And no one—not Ethan, not anyone—would take you from him.

As he pulled back slightly, his hands lingered on your shoulders, holding you at arm’s length as he gazed at you with eyes so warm, so sincere, you felt your heart twist. “Thank you,” he said softly, his lips curling into a gentle smile. “For trusting me. For letting me in.”

You didn’t have the words to respond, too overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, too consumed by the vulnerability you thought you saw in his expression. You nodded, offering him a small, shaky smile of your own.

And Light, ever the patient predator, smiled back.

Good girl.

────────────

If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just comment on the MASTERLIST of World Ablaze (WA): For You, I'd Burn The World. Thank you.

General TAG LIST of “World Ablaze”: @berry-berry-beam , @magica-ren , @hyakki-yosai , @esthelily , @zombeepuppy , @mololoteco , @whyamaris , @iciel , @songbirdgardensworld , @airangelaira , @illyanaillyana , @ninahorikoshifr , @yandere-daze

[galene-gothic]

“you need to belong to you”

romanticise yourself, not celebrities:

i’ll start by saying that fans sexualising the one direction members at liam payne’s funeral, as if it was not a funeral but a normal appearance is truly disheartening and disgusting. it shows how far we have strayed away from ourselves, how far we have strayed away from basic human decency, empathy and understanding. fans singing ‘strip that down’ after he passed away in his memory or supposedly to honour him needs to be studied too (like literally, there’s no way people are that stupid, it’s like our ability to understand what’s appropriate and what’s not has been completely erased from within us). another thing is how after he passed away everyone started harassing his ex girlfriend who talked about his allegedly abusive behaviour as if it was her fault. “he was so much receiving hate” or maybe he was being held accountable for something that he may have done? it’s always ‘girl’s girl’, ‘women support women’ and ‘always believe the victim’ until your favourite is involved.

also, something that has been really acceptable recently (especially in the entertainment industry) has been home-wrecking. i genuinely think that the man is more at fault in such situations but that doesn’t mean that we don’t hold the woman accountable because it is very dishonourable to be attracted to unavailable people even if they are the ones coming onto you. even if you’re attracted, you’re supposed to have enough self respect and discernment to not just go with the flow of emotions and instincts. the most unfortunate of it all is how we abandon basic human decency and morals in order to defend these celebrities. yes, i’m talking about people who make excuses “but she just dated someone’s ex”. yes, two weeks after the guy had a break up with his previous girlfriend and they were already talking. also, being with a man who has a son who’s around two years old and an ex girlfriend (a single mother at that), and singing “too bad your ex don’t do it for you” is just not it. it is their life and they’re celebrities, and this is not intended to be a post of hatred. i just hope that us humans as a collective have the understanding of right from wrong. let’s stop over-idealising celebrities and defending everything they do. taeil, a former nct member who turned out to be a sex offender despite his sweet and innocent public persona, and the burning sun scandal are all proof of how illusionary it all truly is. the diddy situation is proof that maybe just maybe, your life is better than theirs. yes, you may not possess enormous wealth or fame, you may not be regarded as a sex icon, or whatever it may be.

let’s learn how to see our blessings in the present moment even if it is hard and especially learn how to center our lives around ourselves. we are allowed to look up to celebrities, watch them and like them but let’s not separate from our life, truth, morality and integrity in favour of celebrities - ranging from pop stars to k-pop idols to actors and actresses. we should not think that we are better than them either but we should know ourselves enough to know that we are as great as we can be, that will come with time and practice. lastly, we should become less digital and more present, go out for a walk, try and touch grass even if it’s by yourself, without the company of anyone else. learn how to make a star of yourself. you do not need to be a celebrity or even just good looking to try and be your best self. now read the previous line again, the goal is to be ‘your best self’ and the first step to being that is going to require being yourself first. also, being your own because the body is just a vessel, do you really belong to you or are you easily consumed by others and circumstances? it is impossible to not be affected by your circumstances and surroundings at all but two people who go through the exact same situation or similar ones will come out of it differently - one will be at a loss, unable to even have a personal moral code or values, or even if they want to be a certain way, feel a certain way or maintain a certain mindset and life, they aren’t able to do so while the other person will grow to become more whole, they develop stronger morals and values, and are not only able to live accordingly but also instill the same onto others, not by words but through actions because nothing is more effective than leading by example. so, you need to belong to you, always. even if you admire others, you need to belong to you. even if you are curious about others, you need to belong to you. even if you desire connections, you need to belong to you.

[superectojazzmage]

Watched the Nimona movie last night. Review I guess. It was pretty damn good. Definitely would’ve probably been regarded as Blue Sky’s magnum opus if they’d gotten to release it instead of being fucked over by Disney. Very cute, very funny, very powerful in the right moments. A thing that stuck out to me is that it’s really only an adaptation in the loosest sense of the word. It takes the core premise and beats of the comic but is functionally an entirely different kind of story that does its own thing. And given that ND Stevenson was heavily involved in production, I suspect that was intentional.

The comic was much darker and more downbeat in a lot of ways, plus it was significantly longer and thus could afford to be slower paced. But more than that, it was a lot more meaty in terms of themes and scope. The whole “LGBT allegory” element was there, but it wasn’t the sole focus, the comic was a story about a lot of different things; not just an LGBT experience, but also discussion of fantasy genre tropes and clichés, criticism of other fantasy deconstructions, character study, exploring what it means to be a hero or villain, critique of the glorification of crime and cruelty in underprivileged communities, corruption in governments, peer pressure, the senseless and self-perpetuating nature of violence, the worthlessness of revenge, etc.. And above all that, it was a story about trauma and people’s responses to it, with Ballister representing people who actually deal with their problems and move on while Nimona represented people who let their mistakes and suffering and grief consume their identity, or worse, use it as an excuse to indulge their worst qualities and take out their feelings on everyone around them.

The movie, by contrast, has a much more narrow focus. The LGBT allegory is front and center and basically the entire focal point of the movie, aside from a spattering of themes about the danger of zealotry and rigid fundamentalist thinking. This gives the movie a much tighter narrative and pacing that suits its inherently shorter runtime, but also leads to a ton of changes to the story either to convey a different kind of message or just work better in a different medium. Most obviously in how Nimona is vastly more sympathetic in the movie and essentially really is the silly gremlin the comic fakes you out into thinking she is, scrapping the comic’s twist that she was a genuinely bad person who was completely serious about wanting to be a villain, caring nothing for the lives she destroyed with her behavior and idolizing Ballister because she thought he was the same as her and would thus tell her what she wanted to hear (i.e., that she was justified in killing and destroying everything around her in the name of getting even). And in the changes to the Institution’s history and nature. And all sorts of other things.

All in all, I feel if you go in comparing and contrasting the movie and the comic, arguing which changes are for the better or worse, you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment in either direction because they’re two different beasts and it’s like comparing apples and oranges. So keep that in mind if you’re a fan of the comic watching the movie or a fan of the movie wanting to look into the comic. I think ultimately I still like the comic better, but that’s purely my personal opinion and there’s plenty that I think the movie did better.

Some other observations:

Riz Ahmed my beloved, thank you Mr. Stevenson for this perfect casting. Literally perfect for Ballister.

Acting in general was very good. You can tell this was a passion project for a lot of people, not just Stevenson.

Only two changes that are objectively bad are Ambrosius losing his awesome Van Halen hairdo and changing Ballister’s last name — Blackheart is a way cooler name than Boldheart and it’s a pointless change, one that I’d argue even hurts the narrative since it makes it too obvious that Ballister isn’t actually a bad guy.

The animation is really great with fantastic expressions, stylish movement, and wonderful aesthetics that perfectly suit the story, but there’s times where it feels a little off. But there are parts where it looks less “movie” and more “cheap mid-2000s CGI-and-Flash cartoon show from France”.

The humor can be a hit and miss, in a “going through the motions of a Hollywood animated comedy for kids” way. The movie excels when it’s either imitating the comic’s Old Internet sense of humor or going hard on the drama, but there’s bits where it seemingly slams on the brakes to do Illumination-esque Twitter humor and those bits definitely throw off the vibe.

Having an actual straight up attempted suicide in the climax was shockingly ballsy. I genuinely can’t believe they went there, but I’m glad they did because the film wouldn’t have felt nearly as raw without it.

I don’t know how they managed to make the Director even more of an asshole than in the comics, but they did.

[maxdibert]

the sirius date thing got me really laughing - and now i’m curious, considering you said you’ve been with sbd similar, what are some of your assumptions/headcanons of how it would be like?

-Typical guy who makes you meet in the city center because, for him, leaving there is like going on Erasmus.

-He tells you he knows a super alternative place with a really cool, modern vibe, but it’s actually just a fancy pub in the middle of a working-class neighborhood that's slowly being gentrified by rich kids opening eco and handmade shops charging triple the average market price.

-The pub he takes you to serves craft beer, but the funds go to political causes like squatting abandoned places, all very self-managed, with a vegan menu and everything. Of course, everything is three times more expensive.

-The first thing he does is talk about himself because he's super important and tells you how involved he is in political issues.

-Now he starts talking about the problems he’s had with his family because of his political views, how much he’s fought to break away from them, and how little he cares about being the black sheep, especially since his mother is a bitch and he hates her.

-The next 40 minutes are a monologue about all the things his mother has done to him, how much she's screwed him over, and how much he hates her for being a damn fascist.

-Insert monologue about how much he despises his brother for going along with their mother and letting his brain be washed. -Insert monologue about his father being a pushover.

-After an hour of talking about himself and his family and making it clear that he urgently needs a psychologist, he bounces back and starts boasting again, swearing that none of it matters to him because he's fine with how he is, loves his life, and knows he’s right and his family is wrong, that he’s the good guy and they’re the bad ones.

-He proceeds to another monologue justifying his entire political career to prove that his family is wrong, and he’s right, that he’s a hero and they’re fascists, and that he’s very happy with the life he’s chosen, being a guy with principles, unlike them who are sheep and whom he can't stand, even though he’s spent the entire date talking about them.

-Of course, you ask if he lives with friends or something, like renting. -But he lives alone. -You’re surprised because who the hell can live alone with the current rent prices?

-He mentions that, well, his uncle died and left him a flat and an inheritance, so he doesn’t have to study or work because he prefers to spend his time kicking Nazi asses. His family are privileged rich people, but not him; he has political awareness, even though he owns a flat and is so loaded that he doesn’t need to work.

-He makes a couple of rude comments to the waiters, and when you call him out, he says something like, "Well, it’s their job, right?" but he’s a defender of workers' rights. It’s just that, come on, he’s paying like 15 pounds for a damn beer, the least they can do is serve it quickly, right? But yeah, the capitalists are the exploiters, down with capitalism, especially his family.

-All his anecdotes, apart from bragging about political stuff or criticizing his family, are about his school adventures.

-Apparently, he’s had no life outside of secondary school because that’s all he talks about. -And he was a total jerk, which you point out, and he seems quite surprised and says, no, come on, they were just kids' jokes.

-And you're like... okay.

-He mentions that he only joked with people who were like his family, and you’re like... okay.

-You’re increasingly baffled because you don’t know if he’s pulling your leg or if there are really people so deep in their bubble.

-He keeps talking about your friends because, of course, you don’t matter; only he and his circumstances matter, and his friends seem like jerks to you. He tells you his best friend James is the best and starts praising him to the skies, and then you ask... but are you bisexual?

-And the guy looks quite taken aback, like, what?

-And you’re like, well, you’re kind of in love with your friend, right?

-And he laughs nervously, saying no, because, come on, you’re talking to a guy who rides a motorbike and fights Nazis, so "no homo," you know, even though he’s clearly obsessed with his best friend, describing him with more intensity than you talk about your favorite series, which is saying something.

-And honestly, the date is a total bore. Fortunately, he offers to pay, which is appreciated since he insists on going to places for rich snobs, so at least he handles the bill.

And that’s the headcanon lol.

[virtualvault]

Then There Were Three

Pairing:  Marc Spector x bi f!reader x Layla El-Faouly

Summary: Things get complicated when your two friends, Layla and Marc, who you may or not be madly in love with, invite you to be their roommate. Prequel to What Good Girls Get and how their relationship started. But it can be read on its own, I guess. 

Warnings: No explicit smut, but subtle illusions to masturbation and some mentions of kissing, ANGST( resolves with happy ending tho :) ),friends to lovers, jealousy, slightly toxic behavior from everyone involved, reader gets drunk and makes questionable choices but Layla and Marc come to the rescue, mentions reader kissing stranger, feelings of unrequited love followed by profession of feelings, happy ending :). Let me know if I missed anything

 Wc: 3.6k

 A/N: Soooo, why did no one tell me writing angst was so fun?? I wrote this as a prequel to What Good Girls Get because I really want to make a series out of their relationship/dynamic. So, I decided to write this to sort of set everything up and give some background into how they all came together. I'll most likely still write Marc x Reader x Layla fics separate from the series, but I think this'll be fun. Let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more. As always comments/feedback are always welcome and encouraged!!

You first meet Layla in a self-defense class she's instructing at the community center. You hit it off immediately and begin hanging out outside of the class. She even introduces you to her husband, Marc. He's really great too, so you eventually all start hanging out together. Your friendship quickly grows, and you find yourself seeing them multiple times a week.

 You're out grabbing coffee with them one day and tell them how you are looking for a second job. In turn, Marc mentions that they have been going away for work more frequently and are considering getting a house sitter, not wanting to leave their place empty for days and possibly weeks on end.

 "The job is yours, if you're interested of course," he offers.

 "Really? Yeah, that'd be great." You nod, relieved to not continue the job hunt, something that has been huge stress on your life

 "Of course. You're there all the time anyway,” Layla says and you all chuckle. She's right, you're always coming over to have dinner and watch movies, often times sleeping over since your apartment is across town.

 You adjust well to the new ‘job’. It isn’t difficult. All they have is a fish and few plants so it isn’t too demanding. You really just laze about their apartment and clean up here and there and await their return. It begins to feel like a second home. You rarely spend time at your own place, really only going back to get clothes.

 Not that you’re complaining, you hate your apartment. Things are always breaking and the landlord is an asshole, so when it comes time for your lease to be up, you decide to look for a new place. You voice your concerns about finding somewhere on such short notice and, yet again, the couple present you with a convenient solution. They offer up their spare bedroom.

 "Oh, no, I wouldn't want to impose," you say, although not voicing the real reason for your reluctance.

 Since you first met Layla, you may or may not have developed a crush on her. And then you found out she's married and you decided to push those feelings aside, out of respect for their relationship of course.  But then you all started hanging out together and in no time, you started falling for Marc too.

They're both so great, but you know nothing could ever happen between you and them. Layla had once opened up about her and Marc having been through a lot and said they’re finally in a happy, healthy place. That's all you needed to hear and immediately buried those feeling deep inside you. They're relationship is finally stable again, who are you to come in and shake that up over a little crush?

 Well, what started out as a little crush soon develops into some very serious feelings for both of them and it's getting harder and harder to ignore. You start to envy their relationship. Seeing them together makes you think about what you don't have. But it's more than that, you're envious that you don't have it with them.

 You like being able to be roommates, but the proximity makes it harder to keep your feelings for them at bay. You're constantly coming home and finding them all cuddled up on the couch or just seeing little glimpses of them being couple-y in general and it really starts to get to you.

 You eventually decide to start dating again, hoping it'll help you move on from your feelings for your roommates. While they're away for work, you decide to invite a guy over that you had been out with a couple of times. They end up coming home early and Marc flips out. Layla tries to calm him down but he says you can’t just be bringing strangers into their home. He storms off and Layla apologizes. You send the guy home. Technically this is your home too, but you realize it would be better if you mentioned your plans to them before hand, just out of respect.

 That isn't an isolated incident, though. Marc doesn't seem too keen on you dating in general. Layla seems to be supportive, yet constantly warns you to be careful meeting people online. So, you try to keep them in the loop of who you're seeing, hoping that resolves the issues. But any time you mention a date, Marc goes silent. You had met this girl a while back and suggested a double date to try and ease some of the tension and Marc flat out refused. Anytime you would even bring her up he would dismiss it and get short with you.

 After a while of him acting like that, Layla surprises you by saying she shares that same feeling. She tells you that it’s probably not the best idea, although she's a lot kinder about it. She won't give you a reason why, though, and you just assume it's to not cause division between her and Marc.  She had initially said it was fine to have people over while they weren't home but she eventually sides with Marc on that, too, saying not to just to be safe. You're disappointed and their decision starts making dating even harder. 

Not wanting to jump through the hoops of dating, you feel like your back to square one with nothing to distract you from your feelings for Marc and Layla. They feel bad since you seem to have given up on dating, so they begin inviting you everywhere with them. You love being with them, but at the end of the night you go back to your room, alone, wishing you could hold their hands, kiss them, and show them affection like you're desperate to do. You're frequently tempted to turn down their invitations and offer the excuse of not wanting to intrude, especially when it seems like a date night type of activity, but Layla just tells you you’re always welcome and that they’d really like you to join.

 There is one thing that they don’t ask you to join in on. It's the thing you crave most. It’s what you dream about when you’re alone at night satisfying those needs with your hand while you know they’re fulfilling them for each other.

It’s almost torture on those nights you're all watching a movie and they start getting closer and closer on the couch. They snuggle up together and give quick kisses when they think you aren't looking. They're obviously wanting more, but out of respect for you, they keep things tame. But you know. You know when they leave halfway through the movie, telling you they're tired and run off to their room, and you hear the giggles and whispers as they sneak away.

 Then you're left alone, only imagining what they're doing in there, and the emptiness in your heart is joined by an ache between your legs. So you go to your own room, giving yourself a pitiful orgasm that leaves you with even more longing than you felt before.

One night, you walk into the living room on your way out to meet your friends and they’re going at it on the couch, hands roaming over their clothed bodies. They sense you walk in and pull apart, going to apologize but you turn away, and rush out the door with an awkward 'bye'.

 You try to brush it off, but it puts a damper on your evening and you drink more than you should. You find some random person to go home with, hoping to take your mind off things. You end up making out on their couch but all you can think about is Marc and Layla. Not feeling it anymore, you tell them you want to stop and get your things and leave. You walk out of the building, then realize you don’t have a ride.

You make a feeble attempt to order an Uber but the level of intoxication makes it seem like an impossible task. You finally manage to open your messaging app and see a bunch of text from Marc and Layla. They're freaking out because you always text them if you’re not coming home that night and they fear the worst thinking something happened to you.

 You call Layla. You brace yourself for Marc to go off on you for not telling them where you are. She answers immediately, clearly on edge but relieved to finally be hearing from you. “Where are you, babe?” The nickname she calls you sends a pang of hurt to your heart, knowing that when she calls Marc that, it holds a totally different meaning.

 “Please don’t call me that,” you mumble.

 “What? Where are you?” she asks, hearing the slur in your voice and hoping you’re somewhere safe.

 “I don’t know? Umm…” You look around for a street sign, but turning your heads around has your head spinning and you get dizzy and take a seat on the curb.

 “Are you still at the bar?” She knows where you'd gone and with who, but judging by the frustrated whine you let out she can tell that you're no longer there.

 “Put Gina on the phone,” she instructs, hoping you were still with the group.

“I'm not with her. She…I don't know where she is. Probably still with the girl she was talking to earlier. I don't know though.” You sigh, wishing you had thought this whole thing through before running off.

 Layla sighs, frustrated that you split from the group. You hear Marc exclaim, “What?! They left you alone? Where are you?”, letting you know you’re on speaker and he’s heard everything.

 “Marc, she just said she doesn’t know,” Layla says, trying to calm him down a bit. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

 “I met someone and we went back to their place but now I'm outside and… please come get me.” You slur out your explanation and you hear Marc grumble something, but you can’t make it out.

 “Marc, don’t. Babe? Babe, you still there?” Layla's voice crackles on the line.

 “Please. Stop,” you plead, you voice laced with hurt.

 "Stop what? I need you to listen to me. Can you turn on your location for me?" You fumble for a good five minutes and they both try walking you through the steps and you finally manage to share your location with them. “Stay put. We’ll be there soon," Layla assures.

 They stay on the line but you sit in silence, wishing you were tucked into bed and ready to forget this whole night. When they finally arrive, Layla gets out to open the door for you, and guides you gently into the back seat.

 There's a tension in the air and you're left feeling like someone whose parents caught them sneaking out. Marc sits in the driver's seat, grumbling out various comments like “How could you be so irresponsible?”, and, “Going home with some stranger, do you have any idea what how dangerous that is? You’re lucky they let you leave.”

 Layla places her hand on his thigh, trying to get him to let up, but she doesn’t say anything. She looks just as disappointed as him. He continues, “I just don’t know what you were thinking…", and you see him shake his head.

 You become fed up with the scolding. “I just wanted to have a little fun, ok? I don’t have a partner at home I can run to whenever I need a good screw. We’re not all as lucky as you two!”, you shout, crossing your arms. Your sober self will regret that, but right now you don’t care.

 “Were not saying you can’t go out and meet people, we just wish you’d be a bit more careful,” Layla says, sensing your agitation, but frustration continues to bubble up inside you. “Yeah, well you sure act like I'm not allowed. You treat me like a child! You monitor who I'm going out with like you’re in charge of me or something. Unless you’re going to include me the next time you guys run off to your room to fuck each other, then I'd appreciate it if you would just stay out of my business.” You huff and slum against the seat.

 "Babe…we don't mean to-" Layla starts, but before you can stop it, and all your pent-up feelings start flowing out of you uncontrollably. "Enough! Cool it with the 'babe' and 'honey' and 'sweetheart'. I'm not your 'babe' and I'm clearly never going to be so would you spare me the hurt and…and disappointment and stop calling me that?" You feel tears well in your eyes and your voice quivers as you speak. You get no response, both of them clearly not knowing what to say.

 Just moments ago, you were seething, but it's morphed into a sadness that makes your chest feel heavy. Not wanting to let them see you cry, you turn and lean your head against the window, not noticing the look they give each other. Your comment seemed to shut them up so you finish the ride in silence.

  When you pull up to the apartment, you stumble out of the car and storm into the building before they can help you. Once you're through the door you go to your room, slam the door, and throw yourself onto the bed. You lay there, already drifting off, but Layla walks in with a glass of water and some ibuprofen that she knows you’ll be needing in the morning. Marc follows behind her with a washcloth.

 She helps you sit up and gives you some water, then gets up to grab you some pjs. While she rifling through your drawer, Marc gently wipes your face, cleaning the sweat and tears of the night off. You sigh at the feeling of the warmth on your skin. You lean into him as he does it and he soothingly strokes your back.  You feel yourself starting to drift off in his arms but hear a “No, no, no. Not yet,” and he chuckles while he sits you back up.

 Layla’s hands you your clothes and they both turn around, wanting to be respectful, but also to be there in case you fall, which in your state is very likely. It takes a bit, but you manage to slide your shirt and shorts on and fall back onto the bed. They turn back and bid you goodnight. You mumble a 'night' before sleep overtakes you.

You wake up and the events of the night come flooding back to you. Your head is pounding, and your breath quickens as you replay the conversation you had in the car the night before. Fuck. You’re never drinking again. Those feelings that you tried so hard to bury had finally come to the surface. What's even worse is that the two people you absolutely did not want to hear them, did. You stay in your room as long as possible, but eventually you can no longer ignore the grumbling in your stomach. You tip toe to the kitchen, hoping not to run into the couple. Luckily, it seems like they’re both gone so you make yourself breakfast and sneak back off to your room.

 As you finish your food, you decide that you can’t stay here. Everything you worked desperately to keep a secret has come to light and you can’t face them. You pack up your things, the tears coming and going as you realize your two favorite people will no longer be in your life. They've become your support system, your safe haven and it's all gone. And it's all your fault. You reluctantly leave your keys on the counter along with note. You can’t seem to figure out what to say, you stare at the blank slip of paper. All you write is, 'I'm sorry' and leave it at that.

  Luckily, your friend offers to let you stay at their place until you can figure out a new living situation. After about a week of hundreds of missed calls and text from your ex-roommates and withering away on your friend's couch, they invite you out. They can tell you're hurt and don't want you to completely fall apart, so they try to get your mind off of things.

 You spend the night trying to dance and have fun with your friends but you're too distracted. You don't dare drink. The shame from what happened last time making you consider never drinking again.

 You fall back into a semi-normal routine, but can't seem to pull yourself out of this funk. You decide to use your day off to visit your favorite coffee shop, somewhere you usually go every morning before work but haven't had the energy to go.

 Drink in hand, you walk out of the café and feel the sun shining bright and warm on your skin. You smile at the feeling, something you missed while you holed yourself up in the apartment for weeks.

 You turn to walk towards the park, but your smile immediately drops as you come face to face with the two people who haven't left your mind since you last saw them. You almost drop your drink as they walk up to you.

 "Hey," Marc greets softly, not wanting to startle you further.

 "What are you doing here?" you ask, breathlessly. The sight of them causes the events of your last encounter to flood your mind. You suddenly feel very overwhelmed, your nerves telling you to run away, but your feet remain glued to the ground.

 "Can we talk?" Layla asks. You're obviously hesitant, but the way you left was abrupt and there was no closure, so you feel like you owe it to them. You're just not ready to face the rejection you weren't giving them the chance to voice to you.

You follow them to the park across the street. You walk along, your body swirling with emotion. More than anything, you feel embarrassment and shame for the way you acted. But that calmness you always seem to feel when they’re around soothes you.

 As you all take a seat at one of the picnic tables, you speak first. All the things you've wanted to say to have been rattling around in your head for weeks, so you waste no time in letting them know.

 "Look, I disrespected you guys and your relationship and I was totally out of line. I've thought about it a lot and I care about you two so much, but it wouldn't be fair to you guys or even myself if I pretend like these feelings aren't there." You don’t want to stop having them in your life but you can't push these feelings down any longer. "It was really taking a toll on me and I think it might just be better to cut ties completely to allow myself the space move on," you confess. It's not easy though, and every second you look in their eyes makes saying goodbye seem even more unbearable.

 A look of hurt flashes across their faces as you mention breaking off the friendship and you feel guilt bubble up inside you once again. This is your fault. If you hadn't drank, if you had just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't be happening. But you would still be hopelessly in love with them and the unreciprocated feelings would be too much to bear, regardless.  

"I can't keep following you guys around like some lovesick puppy. I just…I can't do it," you declare, voice cracking as you feel your throat start to get tighter as the sadness overtakes you. Layla reaches across the table and places her hand on top of yours.

 "Listen," she starts, "we want you in our lives. You're our best friend and we love you so much."

"But," Marc speaks up and you think to yourself, here we go. They get you alone to tell you what’s already been made perfectly clear, they don’t feel the same and you would just be getting in the way of their relationship. You feel tears start burning in your eyes and turn to the side trying to blink them away.

 "we had no idea how to tell you we want this relationship to be something more." Your head swings to look at them, confusion written all over your face.

 "It was selfish to act like we did. Inviting you to date nights, being all cuddly, not being supportive of your relationships," Layla interjects. " We should have communicated our true feelings and it must have been very confusing for you. We are so sorry to have dragged it out this long. We should have spoken up sooner but we just didn't know how to tell you. We didn't want to scare you off if you didn't feel the same.

 "Really?" They both nod and Marc's hand joins Layla's on top of yours. You let out breath that feels like it was trapped in your chest, and you relax your shoulders. You've been dreaming of this moment. Dreaming they'd pull you into their arms and tell you they want you, to have a relationship with you. You almost don't believe it, having convinced yourself there was no way they feel the same.

 "So…now what?" you ask and they both chuckle. As elated as you are, this is going to be new for all of you. You have no idea what it's going to look like, and how you're all going to adjust.

 "We go get your stuff and you come home," Marc says, and gives you a warm smile.

[bbluesrreality]

Gangbang with me at the center, seemingly with no agency, absolutely overwhelmed, but I sent everybody a 40 page script to memorize and I’m over-directing everyone’s minute movements according to MY fantasies, and I’m a little bit of a bitch to work with, and we film a bunch of pre-production and production footage too.

I’m on my toes, hugging my boyfriend in our bedroom. Soft I love yous, then I’m strapped to a moving dolly, blindfolded and wheeled to a second location.

The sound of wheels on cement first with a moderate echo, then the image of dust kicking up, various styles of black boot, some heeled, arrange me in the center. A long, slow panning shot. (Down to up? Up to down?) I’d be impatient, I’d start to squirm. A hand enters frame to pull my bangs from under my blindfold to where they’re more cute (and more comfortable- secondary). More hands enter slowly, adjusting the straps, caressing my neck. We meet the collaboration of tops in the scene. In order of appearance, not order of importance:

******** is a sweet bully barbie. Tight pink sparkly bodycon, pumps of her choosing, high ponytail with either slut stands or the bouncy side bang. She’s saying nice things, California accent, but you’re probably not her #1. She fucks to breed and when she hits, it stings.

**** is your ex-roommate’s ex-partner who recognized you when you followed them on Twitter. You didn’t recognize them at first, but you were drawn to both versions of them. They wear a lot of black. You want them to bite.

****** ****** is an idol to you, but he doesn’t know that. His presence is the reason you requested to be blindfolded to begin with. His huge black platforms don’t even make him your hight. You’re nervous every hand is his, and this could very well just be another Wednesday for him.

*** ****** is the self-insert idol that’s taller than you. But you’d like a shot of these two on their knees, adorning your big blue strap in kisses please. Yes blindfolded. Yes while everyone is watching. To know that the most magical thing you’ve ever imagined is happening to your dick, but to not be able to feel it, or see it while everybody else can, would be insane to me.

**** ******* is a tattooed, goth findom who it would cost so much to get them involved. But how she speaks makes you weak at the knees and her lack of concern for you is um… not concerning for some reason?

**** is a much bigger creator than you, very good at his job, and makes you obscenely jealous. He has a beautifully punchable nose and his arms look built to put you in a headlock.

****** is an adorable goth boy who looks up to you a lot. He’s slightly younger than you but with nearly triple the audience. You’d love to watch the playback and vicariously watch him be encourage into dominance by those around him.

**** is also an adorable goth boy and wound pair well with the above sweetheart. He’s fairy-coded and it would be fun to watch his confidence build into that of a mischievous switch. The only one allowed to wear brown in section one. For some reason.

******** is a total star with dyed hair and tattoos and the shape of her tits drives you absolutely insane. She’s intimidating and experienced and you want to impress her with everything in you.

Don’t mind me switching from second to first person this is my blog you can’t control me or make me go back and re-write either portion hahahah nah nah nahnahnah

The hands on me get more and more rowdy and involved, hitting and full heads coming into frame as I’m played with, those two get up from kneeling and I’m unstrapped and pushed to my knees. Cocks enter my mouth and both my hands until I’m crying and drooling and properly overwhelmed, I’m lifted when people grasp my biceps, the dolly’s gone and replaced with some wooden and black leather bondage furniture, ass to the camera.

For this section, they should restrict touching my dick and holes to brief teases, not extremes stimulation, but their impact begins to include implements- 2 or 3 toys at a time and 1 to 2 people. I’d expect a respectful revolution of dominants, a skillful and non-cringey soundtrack of praise and degradation. I’m wondering if I would be controlling enough to pre-screen all their lines or like… wordclusters to make sure none of it is cringey or overplayed in my picky ass opinion. Find their favorite links and ask yes- how can we subvert or complicate this already hot porn trope together? Little squeaks turn bigger and turn to yelps and straight out cries. Ass getting pinker by the minute.

The camera should come around to my face, slightly backlit, all the tops behind me, and they finally allow themselves to touch me for my pleasure rather than just my pain- different lengths of fingernails scratching my back, tickling my sides, the sides of my legs. Ass slaps getting lighter, but oh god, someone’s thumbing my butthole, and fingers are starting to go halfway in where it’s wet, and someone’s biting my thighs, licking my tummy, kissing my feet, and holding my face up to the camera, by the side of my head as not to put strain on my neck, not allowing me to shy away from showing any expression, any reaction.

My boyfriend is the only one to fuck me on this set, he gets to claim me first with everyone watching. I want everybody to touch both of us, to not be afraid of kissing and playing with him, I want him to cum, both of us smothered in adoration, all over my back with the light shining off it, his cum looks so good on my back, and I want our friends who want to share it, to share it.

I’m too horny to figure out how we get back to my bedroom, but, I think it’s a beautiful counterbalance to the cold first environment I picture- my canopied bed is elegant and big! A king to fit many beautiful transgender (and more!) bodies in it. Diffused, complex light with pinks and blues, yellows and purples, our beautiful cast is now dripped in jewel tone lingerie, robes and silken, slutty sleepwear. We’re cradled together in a nest of limbs. Not everybody’s attention needs to be on me, as long as the camera’s generally is, only leaving when something I’m watching too, something particularly exciting, is happening elsewhere on the furniture in my room. (Foreshadowing what we get to see me up against closer up later on) I want to invite the viewer to share in my voyeur, I mean viewership.

I would love for my friends and lovers to learn sections of and practice an elaborate tie with many ropes with me together beforehand. Ropes aligning with the color schemes of their attire. Not perfectly- the person in all black will have a grey rope. The person with purple accents, a red rope. Another scored but not fully structured rotation of using my body, having fun giving me the experience of being tied up on camera by each of them, and the teasing by the end should be unbearable.

Hogtied on my belly, what’s there to do but squirm and fall apart between them all as they play with my holes? They untie my legs to unlock new positions, get my nipples exposed to ply with on my back but my hands safe still tied together, locked back around my man’s head, him in my ear as I’m sent through overstim, cumming again and again and again. So many people I could easily be picked up and marionetted into a bunch of acrobatic positions. Then comes my couch, my desk, back to the bed. If there’s anything anybody wants to take us into the shower to do, that’s available. *Looks at the crush that’s into piss play*

Let’s see how many times I can cum in one sitting. I forget if my record is 18 or 23. I have no doubt they’d break it... I’ve been wet all day writing this. This would be my porno magnum opus.

I’d want everyone to be cool with each other. There may be porn industry drama I don’t know about, I’m pretty out of the loop. There’s so much I’d need to check in with so many people about, a lot of this is fantasy abt my crushes and I’m not sure they’re into me or would do this even paid at their professional rates, but hey, a boy can dream.

Consider checking back in with this post later, I’ll add more doms and dommes to the list as I get horny and think about them… thank you for reading to the end! Let me know about any typos you see as this is fairly unedited <3

[firststrikerr]

putting this out there in preparation for oc kiss week because we're giving that a try this year :) i don't know how to go about it though so. erm

a bunch of footnotes below the cut because. well you see. i love giving too much information <3

love language

words of affirmation: they’ll pretend like they don’t need the words of affirmation but they do. desperately so. this praise kink shit is serious okay

acts of service: they don’t feel as comfortable on the receiving end, but it’s their main way of expressing their affection

quality time: has a controversial definition of this. we’ll get into this later in the “ideal date” section

visible touch: allergic to any form of pda. they do get noticeably clingier in private though

romantic identity

shy/confident: they have an easy time being flirty and affectionate, but experience processing errors when they’re on the receiving end. doesn’t have that problem when they’re in their puppet or armor though. that’s all fun and games

jealous/understanding: listen. this one’s ortega’s fault. When you’re a severely insecure individual who’s in a “““relationship””” with someone who’s known to be charming to Everyone, you’re bound to develop jealousy issues. the kind that follows you forever even after the breakup

monogamous/polyamorous: the only reason this one isn’t all the way at monogamous is because they’re a fake idgafer when it comes to people they’re involved with “casually” but they’re absolutely not built for something like stepchentega

pessimistic/optimistic: the optimism is centered around making the most out of their own perceived situation, which. well. refer to the delusional/rational spectrum. they usually make things worse by trying to cope about something when they really don’t have to

submissive/dominant: defaults to dominant, but there’s much needed catharsis in giving away control to someone they can trust. they’d have to experiment with submissive giving and dominant receiving before getting to submissive receiving though

ideal partner

serious/playful: they much prefer being the more playful one because they don’t handle being toyed with very well

stiff/sassy: similar to above, but they like being pleasantly surprised by the occasional unexpected sass in response to their antics

evil/good: the truth is that they admire people who can be “good” in a way that they can’t afford to be

submissive/dominant: wouldn’t have as good chemistry with someone who’s way more dominant than they are

possessive/carefree: they need to feel valued but they’re also protective of their autonomy

gifts to woo

a lock of hair + poetry: they just don’t resonate with the sentimentality behind gifts like these. would not recommend, mostly to spare the gifter’s feelings

food/cooking: as long as it’s food that they like, in which case they will consume it with so much glee and gluttony. this is kind of hard because they’re a picky eater that won’t eat anything that isn’t sweet and/or spicy

examples of food they like: pancakes, oatmeal, peanut butter & jelly sandwich, various baked goods, protein shakes and bars (?!), sweet tamagoyaki, anything with eel sauce, general tso’s chicken, pineapple pizza, filipino spaghetti, enchilada roja/verde, pozole... you get the idea

enemy’s head: DO NOT. this gift would actively upset them. because how could you go and kill their enemy. without them. this was supposed to be a date not a gift :( also there’s no satisfaction in a dead enemy when they didn’t have a hand in the act

ideal date

sunset watching: i’m looking directly at daniel sullivan

dancing: specifically ballroom dancing. they like the methodical, controlled nature of it, as well as putting in the practice to pull off the routine. they also unironically enjoy the music. casual, unregulated dancing makes them feel self-conscious, so it’s reserved for their alone time

heists/defeating foes: truly the ideal dates. i mentioned before that they have a controversial definition of “quality time” and this is where it shows. their idea of leisure activities includes home invasion, property destruction, blackmailing, assault and battery, playing board games, among other things

spa day: this is one of the only ways you’ll get them to “relax”

baking: they get a little too intense about the measuring process but they’re not saying no to more baked goods. just keep them busy while the thing is in the oven

green flags

a good sport: losing just means there’s more room for improvement #grindset

attentive: benefits include good gifts and emotional awareness. technically a green flag but be warned that there is a degree of privacy violation that comes with it

you will never be bored: whether it’s because they’re fun to be with or because they’re making you going through unimaginable emotional distress is mostly up to god

red flags

finds patrick bateman relatable: i know it sounds bad but let me play devil’s advocate for a second here. it’s specifically how he feels inadequate no matter how much he overcompensates to not be another replaceable nobody in a sea of similar pretentious faces and the murderous intent towards someone who he perceives to be more successful than him. hey what was that last one again

british accent: okay a tl;dr for the long meta behind this one. they default to the british accent because they often played the part of hong konger as a cuckoo, and fitting into the social prestige expectations for that role meant using british english. they’re actually also more used to spaniard spanish

song: string theocracy by mili

flower: chocolate mint ice cream? completely self explanatory 🙂‍↕️ the mint is the flower

[skitskatdacat63]

pls complain as much as you want about the eff won movie, i agree with all your tags and i'm sure you have more to say 👀

Hello here I am, ready to complain!!! I did in fact have more to say so thank you for asking

*Sorry Grace if you read this and I accidentally stole any of your talking points lol

ALSO DISCLAIMER: If you disagree with me, please do not fucking bug me about, I do not care, let me be a massive bitter hater in peace, thanks

I. Disinterest 

First of all, who asked for this? To me the appeal of F1 is how exclusive and confined it is. There are only 10 teams and 20 drivers you have to learn about which makes it very easy to become super invested. If you want to step outside that, you can learn more about the lower formulas or past seasons(there’s many of them!!!!) So why would I, someone extremely invested in the people and narrative already taking place, even remotely care about some made up drivers? Especially since they’re not JUST made up drivers, they’re made up drivers in the background of REAL drivers. I am highly invested in the results of current F1, so why would I want to watch a movie where those results and drivers are in the background. I’d rather just watch DTS, which is a crazy statement within itself.

I’ve actually thought a lot about how one could mesh real and fake within a sport like F1. Cause I daydream about my OCs in F1 haha, but then start thinking too hard about the logistics of it all. I came to the conclusion that putting fake F1 drivers into the real story is just not a great idea. Because you’re disrupting the actual results and inserting yourself into them, and also as I said, putting real life people in the background out of self interest. It just complicates things so much to add outside elements to such an insulated sport. If this movie had made up a completely fake grid, I’d honestly be all for it and probably would be pretty interested. Like, wow, give me a whole franchise of this!!! Give me a movie about every fake team!!! Get me invested!! But at the end of the day, I’m always going to care about the real life drivers more

In other racing movies, that are biopics, there is a focus of maybe one or two drivers. And those other drivers that were in the grid at the same time become background characters. BUT it’s in service of a real life story with real life people many may already be emotionally invested in. They’re not just turning the rest of the drivers into background characters in order to prop up their own fake F1 drivers, but rather just putting the focus on a story that deserves to be told. There’s so many stories that deserve to be told in F1, literal decades of stories. Why are they putting so much money and effort in service of a story that no one knows or cares about. 

Also I can already tell this movie is gonna be like…60% action, 40% plot. Again, if I wanted any of those things, I’d watch actual F1. It feels like a male power fantasy for men who wish they could try driving F1 cars.

II. Invasive 

I really dislike how involved it is with F1. You know, F1, something that is people’s legitimate job? It’s already a very flashy sport with so much publicity around it, why do you have to unnecessarily  add to that? Their cars being on the actual grid, the fake drivers being in the media pen. I just find the whole idea of them inserting themselves into modern F1 to be so weird. 

All those clips of Brad Pitt alongside the actual drivers genuinely make my skin crawl, it’s soooooooo fucking weird. Like that one clip of him standing alongside them for the anthem. Imagine you work your whole life and put so much blood, sweat, and tears into getting into F1, and then this rich asshole is allowed to roleplay next to you. There’s already enough pressure with the netflix cameras around all the time. And now they’re forced to be in a movie as well. Maybe I’m self centered but I’d be so annoyed if they were making a film about my sport and then I find out I’m only there to be a background character in a story about made up drivers. It just makes me cringe so much to imagine him pretending to be an F1 driver next to the actual drivers, like is that not embarrassing???

The social medias….very strange. Like the stuff with them using Paul Aron as their rookie. Even if they did get his permission, which I’m still not sure about, it’s so weird to me. Like oh the main characters are made up but you’re still willing to use other drivers in the pursuit of your own story. I’m sorry but is that not weird to anyone else???? I dislike how much this movie blurs the line between fiction and reality, involving real life drivers whenever it’s convenient. Looking at their socmed makes me cringe so much. I’m sure a bunch of self insert writers or novel writers would do the same but they’d get bullied. Yet a bunch of grown ass men are allowed to literally roleplay on twt/insta and it’s suddenly fine and normal? Lmao their most recent post is the FP1 results from Hungary. Is it not so fucking weird for them to make up placements, and thus just ignore the actual drivers who got those positions? Imagine you’re Lando and you got P6 and you go on instagram and suddenly discover that you did not in fact get P6, but rather Sonny Hayes did! Wow that 60 yr old sure is a good driver. 

And let us not forget to mention them making memorial posts for Senna and Jules Bianchi. That actually made me feel sickened, especially the Jules one. Imagine using a real life tragedy for publicity on your roleplay twitter. Is that fucking creepy???? Like why of all things would you choose THAT to play along with. They’re a made up team that is in no way associated with either drivers, so why are they talking about them? What is the point. 

Okay but that clip of Fernando staring at Brad Pitt, I’m fucking dying. I wish he could give his actual thoughts on it. Like what is it like to see a guy older than you, pretending to be an F1 driver, while you are there, doing your actual job. I like to think he had a dementia moment and was like, “hey wait when did that guy join the grid? I thought I was the oldest!?”

III. Dramatising

There already is a pretty big issue in this community where the drivers are treated like characters, and not real people. There’s so many people out there who just watch DTS and treat F1 like a soap opera. People who only know about F1 in the context of made up drama, and now there's gonna be a movie about made up drama. This movie further blurs the lines between fiction and reality. Again, they’re literally turning the F1 drivers into background characters of a movie. Like, wow you’re not real people anymore, your lives exist in the back of this story now. Imagine how confusing this would be as a new fan.

I know they’re all a bunch of rich privileged guys but, at the end of the day, this is still their job, not just fodder for drama. I want the sanctity of F1 to be respected okay. It's such a cool sport to me and I love all the real stuff about it, and I don't like the way media treats it and changes it.

IV. Old Man Self Insert

I basically covered this in my other categories but I just want to complain more. I really really despise that this movie just feels like some old guy really wanted to drive F1 cars and had to come up with a reason to justify it. I feel like someone who is a serious F1 fan would want to honor the actual history and context  of the sport more, y’know? Not just make a blatant self insert film, inserting himself in the literal daily life of the actual drivers. It annoys me bcs this is a sport where people start getting called old when they hit 30, not that I agree with that but I’m just saying, it’s a very ageist sport where youth seems to be valued over most other things. My resident GOAT old man, who is 18 years younger than Pitt, constantly has people saying how he should retire to give younger drivers more of a chance. So why the hell in a sport with this environment are we getting a movie about a 60 YEAR OLD driver. It’s just so clearly a self motivated passion project, and Domenicalli and others want to milk F1 for all the money it's worth. Okay so a made up team is allowed to be 11th and yet you keep shunning actual teams that could join and bring in more publicity/money? Okay, okay…

V. Misc

I’m ngl it feels like a made up team would have an easier job getting into F1 if they really wanted to, because of the publicity. And yet Andretti cannot. Imagine a docu film about a brand new team joining F1 for the first time ever and the trials and tribulations it takes to be a new team in such a historical, bloodthirsty sport. But nah let’s put all that money and effort into a make believe story. 

But yeah they’re not really doing anything inventive anyways. Wow an old man driver who they’re probably gonna pretend is not completely age inaccurate for this sport. And the supposed dynamic of it. Isn’t it supposed to be Brad Pitt’s chara coming back to mentor a rookie prodigy?? When are teammate relationships ever that nice?????? The only similar relationship I can think of is Seb and Micheal but they were on diff teams, and RBR was a lot better than Merc atp. I feel like the only time you see mentor-like relationships is either when the two are on diff teams, the car is an absolute backmarker, or the mentor absolutely outclasses the rookie. 

The fucking “who cares about safety” line, who authorized that????? Thinking about how I almost got ripped to shreds on here for talking about how refueling was interesting, and yet a blockbuster is allowed to disregard safety??? And weren’t they saying in that trailer that they have to make the car for battle? Is their strat being terrorists??

VI. Javier Bardem

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHY DOES ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACTORS HAVE TO BE IN THIS SHIT FUCKING MOVIE GOD DAMN YOU JAVIER YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! 

It is very painful to me that he’s gonna be in this movie, and that his doppelganger who you may know as Fernando Alonso will also guest star. Like I don’t want to give this film money nor do I want to watch it. But the fact that there’s the possibility of seeing Fernando Alonso beloved on the big screen…it’s so tempting.

It’s just irritating cause his chara in the trailer DOES seem like smth I’d actually be interested in. Like I think he’s gonna be a dubious team owner or TP and man….that’s so perfect. But not in the context of the full movie lmao. So who will be the brave soul and make the Javier Bardem and Fernando Alonso cut for me? Maybe I will ask my brother to write down the timestamps for me. 

I digress. There’s probably some things I forgot to complain about but this is what I came up with <3 I hate you Brad Pitt and I hate you Domenicalli and I hate you MBS, etc etc. Lmao you know what this feels like? When you're in a fandom for a fandom for a franchise like the MCU or SW, and nrw shows/movies come out and you feel like they're bastardizing the whole franchise. This is what this movie is to me.

[moderndayamymarch]

my unpopular harry potter opinions:

I don’t vibe w the dumbledore bashing. he obviously was machiavellian and should’ve told harry more than he did but also it was a war and dumbledore’s plan to get harry to sacrifice himself was kinda the only option. I also just find harry and dumbledore’s relationship to be one of the most interesting ones! they’re very similar (half-bloods, anger issues, guilt complexes, & natural born leaders), dumbledore obviously genuinely cared for harry, and I love the way deathly hallows mirrors half blood prince in the way that harry digs into dumbledore’s past like dumbledore had him do with tom riddle’s in order to actually understand dumbledore’s plan

I’ve never understood the draco appeal. his first appearance in the books involves him being racist and making fun of hagrid. he’s then essentially a little neo nazi the entire time they’re at hogwarts. he says that he hopes the chamber of secrets kills all the muggle borns, routinely calls ppl like hermione slurs, and is awful to marginalized ppl like hagrid. like obv he’s a product of his environment and raised by his parents to be like that but I never understood the whole “why is harry so mean to draco, draco’s just a tortured misunderstood soul” like would you befriend a little neo nazi? I think he’s a great character, but I guess I don’t understand the fanon draco.

I’m not a snape hater, I find his character to be one of the most interesting/complex. he’s a grown up bully taking out grudges on 11 year olds, but he also stands up for harry to dumbledore after learning about dumbledore’s plan. I also love his doomed friendship with lily.

I’m not a ron hater either. ron’s a good friend to harry and truly loves his best friend. his jealousy/insecurities is what makes him real. like yeah you really shouldn’t be jealous of your friend’s fame when it’s bc their parents were murdered and wizard hitler’s tried to kill them multiple times, but when you’re 14, you get irrationally jealous! and in the end ron recognizes that he was being self-centered and grows as a person by killing the locket horcrux! above all, though, ron is a loyal friend who would do anything for harry and hermione. and that’s what matters! also the kid is funny! he makes the best sarcastic asides.

I don’t understand the marauders fandom, but I support them. they’ve truly built something so separate from jkr and I respect that. that said. I don’t get james and regulus? like as a ship. I’m not sure where it came from and tbh I don’t want to know.

too many people in the marauders fandom ignore or push lily to the side and I’m not here for it! she’s one of the coolest characters!! her love for her child and her sacrifice make destroying tom riddle possible!! she stands up for severus against james, she was talented at potions, she just wanted her sister to love her again!

I don’t think tom riddle’s descent into moral decay was caused by dumbledore. I already wrote about this in depth, but homeboy needed severe psychological intervention that didn’t even exist in the 40s in order to not be like that.

[rddykilowatt]

ramble ramble ramble ramble zeno beloved ramble ramble ramble ramble

I’m gonna dump akayona thoughts here ‘cause I love this series lots and they make me very happy to ramble about! (warning for spoilers if you’re unaware of anything about zeno or his backstory)

I don’t see a lot of people analyzing or digging at the things that I do, usually they’re more centered around widely known details and fan favorites and such.

So here we go:

Ever since Zeno wiggled his silly way into the group (the dragons, yoon, hak and yona) he completely threw away all of his self preservation. And you can say “well ofc, he’s there to protect yona” but I think you’d be wrong for simplifying it that way. He's such a complex character. Out of all of them he is the one that stands to be the least affected by Yona’s presence same with the presence of the other dragons. He simply decided to approach them on his own accord, they didn’t approach him. This guy has had to kill and run to protect him from others and from himself for millennia.

He’s completely lost his purpose in life by the time we meet him in the series, having lost so much and constantly being at odds with the concept of time. But he found that purpose again in protecting the hhb, which is where I bring this back to the previous statement that he completely threw away all his self preservation, or rather he actually gained some.

During the Xing arc the dragons end up being imprisoned, and Zeno willingly offers himself up to Mizari to have his arm cut off as means to get away easy, but they all outwardly express their disdain toward this. Jae-ha being the one to intervene and avoid Zeno being subjected to such treatment.

Though I think it should be said that he could’ve easily sacrificed himself for them here, it's just his arm right? But he let's Jae-ha intervene and sway the topic away from him. Despite the fact that he could at any moment throughout the series (after his power has been revealed) when there’s a battle or confrontation, power his way through fights and run away or get help at the drop of the hat but guess what? He doesn’t do that, he stopped doing that for the sake of the others. He instead he chooses to stick by the side of his companions even if he could just as easily tear himself apart or be torn apart in order to help them escape.

A good example is this scene in the current arc:

Even with the artifact from Hiryuu castle in their presence that causes there powers to amp up and everything, Zeno sits tight, literally. He sits there tied up tight with the others. I bring this scene up as an example because like I previously stated he could just tear himself apart here, now more than ever to help them escape. But he doesn't.

(Whether this is due to his wisdom beyond years or because he doesn't want to upset the other dragons is up in the air for sure but we're gonna say it's cause he doesn't wanna upset the others for the sake of this post)

I feel like it should be explained further, it’s been brought up multiple times throughout the series where Zeno’s partook, especially in anxiety inducing parts, the others don’t like to see Zeno hurt even if he heals, even if he’s used to the pain. They don’t like it, they’ve been very upfront about how much they hate it, how much it scares them to see him injured in ways that would kill any mortal being, in ways it would kill any of them. Seeing him bleed is the worst experience for them. And I think Zeno makes the conscious choice to no longer completely tear himself apart just to escape in order to save them because he doesn’t want to scare them more than they already are in the situations they get involved in. As well as when it wouldn’t be necessary to do so, when they work together just as well to escape without unnecessarily blood being shed.

Zeno is honestly an enigma of a character, he says a lot but simultaneously says nothing. Which makes me love him even more.

What I’m saying here is all me reading between lines and using my own brain to come up with something that would make sense rather than it being a verbal statement or thought being stated in the series. There’s no real textual evidence that outright states that Zeno has made any of the choices I’ve stated, it’s just my own thoughts surrounding him.

At the end of it all here, I personally believe this is one of the best ways his character could be written, especially as the only one remaining from the original dragons. He gives things away to the group and the readers but only with bits and pieces. The rest is speculation or a matter of putting things together. In my opinion he keeps us hooked into the series, he’s the one character still present that carry’s so much weight and wisdom with him. He’s the one character in the hhb that understands the pain that each separate individual has faced that even they amongst themselves can’t understand.

They’ve all learned how cruel the world can be, how painful being alive is in their own ways but in my opinion Zeno is the only one that understands their individual experiences infinitely. For crying out loud he knows things that the characters around him don’t even know and that we the readers don’t as well. He’s seen and lived through more life than them all combined, but he still holds onto his humanity albeit rather stubbornly. He still continues to learn and grow and above all else he sees that everyone is human and that there can be/is still good in the world even with all the bad.

Yona maybe be in the title of the series, but Zeno is still just as much of a main character as she is.

[ifearifearifear]

The FNAF Multiverse (9/10)

Here we are, nearly at the end of my little silly textbook draft. Don't worry though, I'm not finished with this AU. (Not by a longshot)

Chapter 9: The Spaces In-Between

And here we are. A part that I’ve been eagerly awaiting.

Explaining what lies between universes. This is where things start rounding out into something you can really sink your teeth into.

First off, the space between universes is… Interesting. Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it.

It’s filled with fractured pieces of forgotten universes. Broken, misshapen settings, haphazardly mis-mashed together into a distorted landscape, full of tears and chasms that only plummet deeper into the multiverse. Characters who have forgotten who they are - Characters who are confused, lost, and scared - Characters who have been alone in the broken, uncanny wastelands for so long that they’ve gone mad - Characters who have begun to remember things they shouldn’t be able to, who have begun to remember their previous revisions, the loop they’ve been on for lifetimes - Characters who’ve realized their entire life was planned out as a narrative, all to entertain onlookers like a trained beast in a circus - Characters who are angry, so so angry that while other universes continue to exist, theirs was abandoned and forgotten, and they were left to rot in the wastes between worlds.

Characters with a predetermined fate know nothing of the hell that those forgotten experience. To be doomed by the narrative is to have a place in it. And for these wandering souls, the narrative, the story, the life that they once had… It’s long gone. And now, there is no narrative to guide them. They’re left wandering. Even characters doomed to death serve a purpose. Even characters who face fates worse than death have the security of a story to fall back on, even if they don’t know it. But for those without a story to support them, there is nothing. Nothing but to wander, often in solitude, for eternity.

Surprisingly, navigating the spaces in-between is rather easy, as long as you’re careful. The hard part is finding an exit. Or rather, an entrance. The space in-between is quite vast, and despite how many universes exist, it’s still very much a hotdog down a hallway situation. [Note to self: Find a better way to phrase that before you post this.] [Update: I couldn't.] The sheer scale of the multiverse makes it difficult to find universes through just wandering.

With the sole exception of the center of the universe. There, you can't go five feet without tripping into a universe, simply because of how cramped it is there. But as it pertains to anything beyond X±.1 Y±.1, there will be a lot of wandering involved.

An interesting addition, there are two universes which, in this AU, could have built-in interuniversal travel. The first of them being FNAF World. Specifically, the Flipside. This is the point where I’m going to establish a specific coordinate for a world. The fourth level of the flipside exists at X0 Y0 Z-1. It exists directly under canon at the lowest point of the multiverse, and if anything falls through from canon, it ends up there.

And the second of these potential easy integrations is - drumroll please…

The Fazbear Frights anthology. I’m sorry.

The initially cut and later released Fazbear Frights story, The Scoop, sticks out severely for being intensely meta. And because of that, it is, in this AU, an example of a larger story spanning over multiple universes. And that could potentially be the case with several other stories from the anthology series, but I’m electing not to touch the matter any further, because the canonicity of these books is still a topic of vicious debate, and I’m not about any of that.

Also, I'm not even going to touch In The Flesh. I know there is an argument to be made there about it taking place in another independent universe, but I really can't take that story seriously.

But anywhom, with that out of the way, the next chapter is mostly going to be a note from me, rather than a direct explanation of the principles of this AU.

- Chapter Navigation -

- 1 * 2 * 3 * 4 * 5 * 6 * 7 * 8 * 9 * 10 -

[deadcityhq]

CHARACTER NAME: nathaniel / john mandrake

CHARACTER FACECLAIM: gabriel marques

CHARACTER AGE/DOB (if relevant/they’re not old af): 20, but likes to pretend he’s way older

CHARACTER PRONOUNS/GENDER IDENTITY/SEXUALITY ETC: he/him, thinks he’s a man in a manly man way but is actually just a guy, attracted to people who are either bad for him, will punch him in the face, or both.

CHARACTER FANDOM (if relevant): bartimaeus sequence

OC OR CANON: canon

CHARACTER TYPE (for example: werewolf, shadowhunter, warlock, demon etc): magician/spirit but it’s complicated

HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN IN NEW YORK/WHY ARE THEY THERE ETC: he got thrown into this place in a brand new reality after being blasted to atoms, doesn’t really have a choice, is trying to figure things out and this just seems like a good place to stick to for that.

IMPORTANT CHARACTER INFORMATION TO NOTE AND SHARE (this could be important headcanons for initial plotting, mini bios etc, supporting docs):

- first of all, if reading any of this makes you go “wow t, another wet and pathetic man raised in a fucked up system with strong social divide between people with and without magical capabilities who saw the flaws of the system and then subsequently died in a self-destructive/sacrificial way who you are now dragging back to life to make suffer some more?” then the answer is yes, absolutely.

- so imagine this: in a world controlled by magicians capable of summoning powerful spirits and bending them to their will, the british empire reigns over the world in our very own 21st century and, to avoid family dynasties forming, magicians adopt the very normal practice of paying non-magicians to give up their children so they could be trained in magic. you are nathaniel, aged five, and your mother just literally sold you to some man so you could have a chance at a better life. you are stripped down of your name (because spirits can use your true name against you), any identity but than of an apprentice, and forced to be a genius student of a very mediocre man (who forces you to have the fake wizard name of john mandrake). at the age of ten his work friend publicly bullies you so you spend years plotting an elaborate revenge plan against him, succeed but only by the grace of being constantly roasted by the powerful spirit you summoned (who knows your true name, whoops) and discovering that the guy was kind of planning to feed the entire government to a spirit of immense power, become a government official yourself and kind of a self-centered dick (don’t let the spirit return to his home plane because you’re scared he will tell your true name to someone, even though he is kind of your best and only friend and it almost kills him), finally slowly realize how fucked up the whole system is (both with dehumanizing people who can’t use magic and enslaving so many spirits), get faced with a brewing revolution because many non-magical people are resistant to magic now, find out even more evil wizard plans to be fucked up and take over the government, fuse with your spirit bestie in a profound and powerful display of human-spirit trust and equality not seen by the world ever before, fight the bad guys, win and then sacrifice yourself to save your human revolutionary not-girlfriend (but maybe girlfriend just a little bit, it’s complicated??) and spirit bestie, desummoning him from your literal body the last second before a fucking building collapses on you (and blows up).

- as if that wasn’t enough, after all of the events described above nathaniel didn’t die. his soul had been too altered by having fused with a spirit, his death had too much magic involved, but instead of drifting away to the plane where spirits dwell, he instead got sucked into another world of humans. (I’m not saying that it was because of some recent cosmic imbalance caused by various events, but maybe)

- surprise! his magic doesn’t work here anymore because there is no access to the spirit plane.

- also surprise! the last events before his death have left him so profoundly changed that he now has some spirit powers himself! those include shapeshifting, manipulating energy and the elements, and so on. he is pretty bad at it so far.

- he is also really trying to be a better person now, and maybe find a way back to his own world to be a better person together with his friends and found family, but the latter might just be easier than the former, because turns out it is really hard to unlearn a lifetime of awful habits.

THREE AESTHETICS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOUR CHARACTER: a night spent pouring over ancient tomes, intimate conversations with friends, standing under the rain, thinking that you’re cool while you’re actually just kind of wet.

OOC INFORMATION:

MUN NAME/ALIAS: t

MUN AGE: 22

MUN TRIGGERS: -

[tottymatsuno]

My au of angels is slightly different than I think a lot of christian based texts, like biologically (they are not organic life forms)

They are shapeshifters who communicate mostly through static, and on higher dimensional planes, so kinda in a reference to Ososans anime/animated 4th wall jokes they can literally go from 3D to flat one dimensional images, to even higher dimensions. They have true forms, and they have forms to show humans.

Earth in itself is too bright for their eyes to adjust to, so they’re in constant pain bc they got LOTS of eyes, and also they are used to darkness that extends past the vacuum of space. They are not used to this amount of light.

I also wanted for black to be the color of heaven, rather than white. This is based off of my own experiences as a black person. And also bc there’s that one set where they’re goth bikers lol, but mostly bc I’m sick of the anti blackness woven into our very language and the connotations that black is evil and demonic.

Anyways in this au, the matsunos wear a lot of black specifically to be assholes and be like “we were once the holiest” and in other universes where they are angels and wear white, it’s supposed to symbolize that these dudes are not good angels and are rebelling already

More things are angels can use magic, but very rarely do bc witchcraft is a sin or whatever. They do perform lots of rituals but under very specific situations, or times of year.

Because they’re shapeshifters they typically when they exist in heaven, don’t really have concrete forms, unless they want em. They can make genitalia tho, which brings me to my next part!

The nephilim war, which was basically what it says on the tin, a bunch of angels after the rebellion involving @girlymatsu s oc Erina, and the angels wanna be parents

Like a major theme of my angel/religious aus is the idea that angels as a species are very powerful, very obsessive, and are very loving to the point where god is like “I don’t really want you guys loving someone more than me so no kids no families no partners no nothing thanks”

A lot of my stories and ideas center around giving them or them struggling to create and maintain family units. They’re very repressed. Their halo is probably the most obvious sign of love and devotion bc they can’t control it, their very nature is self sacrificial because they all want to be martyrized, but also because it’s them making a shield out of themselves.

It’s subconsciously saying “you’re now my most important treasure, and even if I die I will protect you with my very essence” so like it’s a big deal when a halo appears over someone else’s head when an angel is around.

Anyways lots of wars behind the concept of love. This is like the context Todomatsu is living under.

They also are a very patriarchal society, there’s lots of misogyny too, very Christian ideals that imo aren’t sexy unless gay, so I blast my queervision on them.

They tend to be either born to or assigned classes, one may work hard to gain a promotion but its rare. Standard angel hierarchy at work with seraphim as the top.

There’s more stuff that isn’t super relevant to this au in specific like what their jobs can be, how they work, their interactions with humans, them in modern society, their culture but…not important!!

Anyways all of this set up so i can kick him in the face

OKAY SINCE MULTIPLE PPL SAID THEY WERE INTERESTED!!!

The body of Christ au is a spin off of my apostasy au

Which has been inspired by a lot of my friends, but I’d been working on it since 2019?

I remember getting loved of inspiration post partum when I started collaborating with the fellas!

@pajamamatsu for the succubus/demon au inspo

@girlymatsu @ichikos as my main sources of inspo and feedback, and also who compliment me when we play fruit salad with oso, ichi and totty

@itchypinefield for providing so many different facts

I can’t remember which side blog is viris ososan sideblog @marriedonacross but I rmbr viri had a multiverse au

and ofc clover who played otome villainess with us! I haven’t listed everyone but also the fellas in the girls be devious/demon GC for letting me bounce ideas and make a structure for it!

[acotrash]

First Date with Azriel

Azriel head canons 

Your friend sets you up on a blind date 

And you hate blind dates because they’re so awkward for everyone involved 

But they’re your best friend so you agree because they rarely, if ever ask anything of you 

The guy they set you up with is named Azriel

The date itself is to an art museum, you don’t hate it because if the guy is boring and self centered like the many other blind dates you’ve been on you can simply wander to a different exhibit, it’s a big museum you can get lost easily 

Azriel is waiting outside the main entrance when you get there, his hair is messy like he ran his hands through it one too many times and he keeps looking up whenever someone passes him

He looks better than the half blurry photos your friend showed you, all giddy that you agreed to this stupid date “this is Azriel” wiggling their eyebrows at your reaction

You take a deep breath, walking up to him ready to get this over with  “Azriel?” “(Y/N)?”

 He looks just as worried about this date as he opens the door for you

He’s such a gentlemen letting you decide which exhibits you want to see

He doesn’t even make a single comment when you get lost trying to find the Degas painting 

It takes you about 15 minutes longer than it should’ve as it was right next to the exhibit you were currently in

He’s also nice enough to not mention you almost walking into a wall either as you were too busy studying the map printed on the pamphlet

You’re not sure if the date is awkward at first, or if he just simply doesn’t like you by how quiet he’s being 

He opens up, a little, like you find out his favorite artist is Edward Hopper and that he generally likes the art museum as he comes here often with passes

You two comment on your favorite paintings 

You also find out he fidgets with a small gold chain around his neck whenever he’s nervous, getting a glimpse of the gold whenever he opens his mouth and his eyes flicker to you before looking back at the painting

He fidgets with that small gold chain around his neck constantly 

He buys you a few postcards from the gift shop that you had in your hand, easily slipping money across the counter before you could even open your purse

You go to refuse but he just shakes his head grabbing the small paper bag from the cashier 

After the museum you look at him hopefully, you didn’t realize how much time you actually spent in the museum, walking back through a few exhibits multiple times but you generally enjoy his company 

You and him walk to a little coffee shop across the street 

He orders a double shot, you order a vanilla latte 

He listens as you talk about school, your job, your shitty apartment and all the good books you’ve recently read 

Both of your coffees are long gone when you look at the time again, apologizing profusely that he didn’t get a change to talk about himself 

You hate people who only talk about themselves and yet you just did that 

But Azriel just shrugs, a small smirk on his face “How about next time I’ll talk about myself?” 

And you blink, taking a second to realize he asked you out on a second date 

You smile blushing and nodding “I’d like that very much” “It’s a date then (Y/N)”

You both stand, Azriel walks you back to your car dispute that he passed his own car on the way to yours

He opens up the driver’s side door for you, he second guesses himself before he presses a light kiss to your cheek, you raise an eyebrow “Did you miss there?”

He tilts his head, shaking it slightly as you get in the car “No, I only kiss on the second date” he replies “good think you agreed to a second date” he winks before gently closing your car door 

[babiestbubbles]

ROTTMNT Agere Headcanons

Raph:

Mostly Caregives but when he goes down, he goes down. He’s just an itty bitty baby. Cutest thing ever tho. He tries his best to be a good and helpful little one even if he can’t do much. He’s really never over the age of 3, maybe 4 if you’re pushing it. 

He’s a very expressive baby though, he loves interacting with his brothers, even if it’s just peek-a-boo, watching cartoons, or scribbling all over with crayons (Raph’s not allowed near the paints or other art supplies out of fear he’ll try to eat them. His caregivers have their hands full just keeping them out of Mikey’s mouth and he actually knows better.) 

He also loves shadowing his caregivers/babysitters, sometimes even his siblings who are also regressed, just toddling behind them and maybe imitating them or trying to help them out. A well behaved sweetheart. The only reason he’d ever end up crying is bc he’s gotten hurt or someone else (*cough* Leo *cough*) is being mean to him.

Leo:

Kind of young kiddo most of the time, rarely ever over the age of 6/7, but also almost never falls into the baby range (0-3) unless something super bad’s happened. 

Is actually incapable of caregiving, he gets too anxious and it ends up doing more harm than good to anyone involved 

Sometimes an older sibling type if he does end up falling in the older age range but that’s the best you’re gonna get. 

He’s a super active kiddo though, always on the move, always wants to be doing something. Usually teams up with Mikey to make little plans. They’re great at playing pretend together or really doing anything together, they feed off of each other’s energy, but this also means they encourage one another to get into trouble. 

He tries to be independent a lot of the time but also very much enjoys being doted on by his caregivers. Definitely enjoys a nickname like ‘Little Prince’ or something adjacent, he loves the idea that he’s the center of attention and most of the time his caregivers are happy to oblige. He’s a bit cheeky. He does like messing with his cg or babysitters a bit, but nothing too serious and all in the name of fun. They can always handle it.

He’s actually a bit similar to Donnie and Mikey in his sensitivity to criticism. He doesn’t usually shut down as quickly or intesley as them, but he’s still heavily affected by even minor criticism. Everyone around him knows his littlespace is his only opportunity to be ‘troublemaker’ or break the rules etc. so most of the time he gets off without any real punishment, other than maybe the consequences of his own actions. Ex: cleaning up a mess his prank made or being stuck sleepy all day because he went to bed late.

Mikey:

Chaos baby at any age. Most fluid when it comes to headspace range. Will jump from 3 to 5 if activities get exciting, might drop down to 2 if it’s just movie night. 

He’s always bouncing around, happy to do anything and everything that will satiate his boredom. He’s usually pretty good about keeping out of trouble, but sometimes he just can’t help it, trouble knocks right on his front door. What is he supposed to say? “No Thanks”? He isn’t lame.

He actually struggles to sit down and do stuff while little. He needs a lot more simulation when regressed. He actually requests Lou Jitsu theme songs or a movie playing in the background if he’s coloring with Raph or his siblings because coloring alone isn’t ‘interesting*’ enough for him (*he means stimulating he just doesn’t have the proper vocabulary)

Super talkative, even when he can’t talk. Sounds simply never stop coming out of his mouth. He’s always rambling about fantastical nonsense or his favorite something or why he dislikes something. The kid never seems to run out of conversation topics. Even when he’s just a baby, can’t form words or sentences, he’s still babbling. Making happy coos at things or saying words in succession “April, April, April” “Paint, colrs, pretty” Sometimes gets self conscious abt his voice but usually gets better with a bit of reassurance. 

Very quick to meltdown but also pretty easy to soothe. Most of the time just needs help processing his emotions but will also very readily take an icepop bribe to settle down.

 He can’t really handle the idea of being in trouble, he freaks out that he’s bad and will almost shut down. The same thing happens if you tell him to quiet down/be quiet/shut up. He stops talking entirely, and you know something’s wrong when Mikey stops talking. As for soothing, usually he just wants to cuddle and be told it’s alright, he’s a very good boy, etc. A tv show is a really good distraction for him after he’s had an episode and needs time to feel better. 

Donnie:

Either incapable baby or menace teenager/older kid. Doesn’t really fall in the toddler range unless it’s a special day (ex he and one of his brothers have plans to do something together while little)

Opposite of Mikey, super nervous to talk, typically goes non verbal, but tries to sign if able. (they all know pretty basic asl. Their lexicon is huge but like they don’t use proper asl grammar/sentence structure and tone indicators and stuff. They just sign words in succession)

Loves puzzles, games, building things, making things etc. while regressed. Usually when he’s older but even when he’s a baby, he insists on getting to play with foam blocks or magnets so he can build, or he wants to do jupiter jim activity books.

Definitely the one who struggles the most with insecurity abt his headspace. His classic Donnie overthink continues even when he’s little and he gets embarrassed that he’s weird or wrong for regressing. He needs a lot of reassurance that it’s okay and healthy and normal.

Ironically though, he’s probably the one who needs it the most. He struggles with taking care of himself when he’s having a hard time mentally or emotionally, he needs someone else to take care of him. Make sure he’s eating, sleeping, taking breaks. 

He’s super scared of being bad/getting in trouble, just like Mikey but quite frankly to a worser degree. At this point everyone knows not to scold Donnie for things when he’s little, even if he’s 11/12 because he will cry, sometimes entirely meltdown. That’ll either pull him out of his regression (and lead to him isolating for the rest of the day) or it’ll send him deeper into a smaller headspace. If it’s really bad, he’ll spend the next few days drifting in and out of babyspace. He’s generally a very sensitive baby, sometimes he can’t even handle jokes about him being ‘bad’ or a troublemaker or misbehaving.

He absolutely cannot handle punishment at any time ever. While he is a menace and messes around and is kind of feral, he’s careful, he doesn’t really properly break any rules (mostly because he has a huge fear of getting in trouble), so there’s really never a reason for him to be punished, but if he did break a rule, there’s no way he could manage to make it through his punishment. Just having to face his caregiver while knowing he did something wrong would probably send him into a panic attack. 

Getting sent to time out or his room or something would just lead him to meltdown there and then deny himself any comfort after. He’d push away from cuddles and deny any sweet/comforting words his caregivers tried to tell him afterwards. (Poor baby doesn’t think he deserves it)

This only happened once and his caregivers learned their lesson when they were stuck with a baby Donnie for an entire week. [He was so embarrassed afterwards but also was so far in headspace he doesn’t remember a lot of it]