#it’s like hmm i am such a piece of shit that doesn’t do anything

[pinkspiraling]

i am in a way better mood today bc i actually got a little sleep but there is a deep self loathing monologue in my head that i just can’t shake

[receival]

baldur’s gate 3 starters.

the following is a collection of sentence starters from larian’s baldur’s gate 3. part 2.

look at me - i’m not a monster.

stay back. i don’t want to hurt you, but i will.

no. you’re not one of them at all.

i was ready to run you through. my mistake, friend.

that’s far enough. what’s your business down here?

you revealed our location? that tongue gets any looser, (name), and i’ll cut it out.

reckon i might miss this place.

this place is more dangerous than i thought.

well, don’t you cut a fine figure.

sometimes i’m jealous of that girl. ugh - to feel so invincible again.

in your expert opinion, what’s the best way to kill a devil?

i’m certain there are answers out there. we’ll find them together.

there’s no story. none that you’re entitled to hear, anyway.

you can tolerate a great deal of suffering, so long as it has meaning.

until then, all i can do is endure.

please try to understand that it’s not something i can just talk about freely.

perhaps there’s potential in you.

honestly, your faith is your own concern. i won’t judge, one way or the other.

i think i did well by joining you.

you already know my biggest secrets. what more can you ask?

that wall’s an illusion! hiding what, i wonder …

sun, moon, and stars will still be there, waiting for us.

this place is pretty spectacular, isn’t it?

no book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice.

a perfect ring of mushrooms … nature, or magic?

hmm. i thought that might’ve done something.

another illusion. is anything real down here?

i’m more concerned with this ‘twit’ who set a spectator on you.

a rival - a mere footnote to my legend. you should be more concerned with who i am.

the fools must have turned back. or, better yet, died in the search.

i need no more rivals. try to take this as a compliment, yes?

this presence … this magic is not divine, but fey.

little? i am a god! and i’m gonna rip you - tear you - wear you for a hat -

don’t do anything hasty, now.

i’ll just kill you and claim it for myself.

i’m the lord of murder - i’ll show you why.

if you’re expecting me to drop to my knees before you, forget it.

a wizard’s tower is his sanctum, a private place for research and respite. but as this wizard’s not home … i say we take a peek.

a strange place for a button. especially one that doesn’t work.

what good would it do for me to be troubled? we can’t save them all.

you’ll have to speak slowly. i find it quite difficult to concentrate with my condition gnawing at my insides like a teething displacer kitten.

the whole village is falling to pieces …

hey, maybe we can scare up a few dusty bottles of wine somewhere.

i like your way of thinking. split any takings we find?

what creatures live in water this dark?

i’m a rabid dirty dog. and i bite.

i could’ve killed you before you even noticed me, but i didn’t. stand down.

i can be discreet. no need for bloodshed.

share? you really are in the wrong place.

a bleeding heart, are you? reckon i’ll just roast and eat it.

what in the hells did you do to that corpse?

you do plenty for me, more than you realize. but this cannot be remedied.

are you alright? is there anything i can do to help you?

enough. bickering won’t save your friend.

run away, then.

(name) - i was so worried! did they hurt you?

who cares? we’re together now, thank gods!

i’m grateful, don’t mistake me, but … why help us?

freeze it, cock-stench. we aren’t done just yet.

pay up, and you get to skink away. resist, and i gut you.

drop it. i don’t owe you anything.

your incompetence has been my ruin.

stop! no more innocents will die today, (name).

you care for the weak. most curious.

you so much as touch me, and i’ll tear you from limb to limb.

ah - another treacherous soul walks among us.

i ain’t going down easy.

you been a shit since i laid eyes on you, (name).

strike him down. prove your faith.

your silence speaks to your heresy.

look, you have no idea what you’re dealing with …

it’s the whole damn reason we’re here, and i’m not leaving without it.

the mission comes first.

and i thought i’d heard it all. that’s some cambion-level deception.

i go where there’s shit to stir. and there’s no shortage of options.

i can’t remember much, truth be told.

centuries of torment will do that to you.

you’ve been naughty. and you know what happens when you’re naughty.

just who in the nine hells are you?

well, well. aren’t you a luscious thing?

been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.

you have a manner of irresistible desperation about you. i like it.

you know, i’ve been thinking. and i think there’s something i should tell you. nothing big or terrible, just … a small little detail about me that hasn’t come up naturally.

i want to join you - to fight by your side.

i’m sorry for barging in like this, but i had to come find you.

i won’t let you down. i promise.

we all have our burdens, one way or the other.

i’m trying to say that you’ve earned my trust in a way very few ever have … i want that to mean something.

freedom - i’d forgotten how it felt. thank you.

if you have a moment, i’d like your opinion on something.

the problem is this: a preponderance of evidence that i am a terrible adventurer.

i can’t risk re-capture. i barely escaped last time.

it was a mistake. and not one we’ll repeat.

i don’t know. he was kind of fun.

we can’t just invite danger in to our hearth like that. we must be more careful.

most monsters will think twice before making a meal of me.

an old hunter’s trick - if you can’t mask your scent, spoil it.

i prefer a weapon to stench, thanks.

you’re a monster hunter? not what i imagined.

whatever you’re hunting, your stench alone will kill it.

a quick wit is rare indeed.

know how to ask, and they’ll share that knowledge. if you’re fool enough to pay their price.

speak plainly. what is she?

i think you’re mistaken - this place looks innocent enough.

truth is like a blade, my friend. we can arm ourselves with it - or just as easily find it pressed against our throat.

i would not put you in danger.

your coyness is getting boring. tell me.

you take insult where none is intended, my friend.

how thoroughly invigorating it is to stand by one’s friend in the face of danger.

you best have one hells of an apology for me.

you must have mistaken me for someone else.

that wriggler swimming in your brain juice is a bit of an inconvenience, isn’t it?

that’s none of your concern.

don’t change the subject.

keep that hole under your nose shut.

let’s not involve ourselves in this place any longer than is necessary.

you want to play the hero so badly? fine. let’s make this interesting.

gods, it’s hot in here.

i’ve had better days. and worse ones.

i am, after all, the villain of the tale.

you truly are a soul that steels my own.

you are as thick as they come.

even i am tired of the sound of my own voice.

i stand at a precipice, but if you do not give up hope, neither shall i.

all of this … it must feel like a betrayal.

you bastard! you ruined it, you ruined everything!

slow down - what did i do?

this is an interesting way of thanking me.

i don’t need this. good luck getting out of here on your own.

i know i should head home, but … i can’t bring myself to leave.

(are you alright?) / not even a little bit. but i will be.

she favored me like a child favors a captive pet.

i promise i will not betray your trust.

i cannot thank you enough.

you will face (name)’s judgement.

i wish you could have visited at a better time.

you had no right to intervene.

you’re not one of us.

copper for your thoughts?

always a delight to speak to you.

did i play games like this in my youth? was i sweet once?

what are you doing? i’m busy here!

nothing beats the taste of stolen beer.

come on, now. they’re just having a bit of fun.

let’s do what we have to do, then get out of here.

smell’s like burnt flesh.

hold out your arm so i can mark your flesh.

i’m here to spill your guts across the floor.

pain without purpose is a terrible thing, wouldn’t you agree?

i often feel i like raw pain too much. it scares me.

as long as the story ends in death, it’s all the same to me.

forgive me, but - that look in your eyes. something terrible has happened to you.

what i see in your eyes, in your soul, is only natural.

we’ve all suffered in these dark times. it is little wonder you hear scars of pain and anguish.

touch me and you’ll lose your hand.

the pain you suffer will cleanse you - do not fight it.

you look tired. should i take over?

welcome the pain. let it become part of you.

that looks like it’s going to bruise.

not that i’m suggesting we stop for a drink, of course.

i wouldn’t want to place all my faith in blind luck.

sympathies won’t help me to survive.

your life, much like your words, is meaningless. end the latter to save the former.

looks like the booze got the better of them. they’re practically unconscious.

they’re dying for me. all of them.

why don’t you take a closer look? i’ll observe from back here.

please don’t open the creepy book!

toddlers are easier to please than you lot.

you know, i never pictured myself as a hero.

all i want is a little fun. is that so much to ask?

having performance issues, (name)?

never have i met such troglodytes.

i was hoping you wouldn’t notice i was gone.

i suggest we admire it from afar.

it would be too much to hope that’s nothing to do with us, wouldn’t it?

i go my own way - alone.

i’ll feed your innards to the ants before i do that.

[cable-knit-sweater]

Before The First Light

Rating: T Word count: 884 words Tags: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, nightmares, minor injuries, Steve Rogers needs a hug, (light?) angst

Written for @catws-anniversary || March 26 prompts: on your left, PTSD, endurance

He’s running. 

Steve’s running so fast that even with the serum coursing through his veins, his lungs are starting to burn with the strain of exertion. He barely pays any attention to the bullets whistling past him, dodging and weaving to avoid them, almost just on instinct. It is on instinct. There isn’t much time to think about anything but getting out.

The place is a fucking maze though, so it’s taking longer than he’d planned.  So much for that damn song, he thinks, almost laughing at the irony. So much for being the man with a plan.

He presses on, through endless corridors twisting and turning, Hydra soldiers hot on his heels. Steve thinks that maybe they’ve finally figured it out, judging from the screaming and cursing. That he’s just a diversion so the other Howlies could go to work. 

By now, they’ve definitely set the place to blow.  By now, Steve should’ve made his way out. 

A bullet grazes his shoulder, but he tries to ignore the searing pain as he pushes himself harder, his heart hammering in his chest. 

Suddenly, he’s outside, the building exploding behind him. He’s hit with a blast of air, pressure, heat, but it just propels him forward faster. There’s still no time to think. 

There’s more cursing and shouting. This time it’s not in German though.

 It’s in a heavy Brooklyn accent, his favorite in all the fucking world. 

“Are you fuckin kidding me? Are you tryin’ to get blown to pieces? For fuck’s sake Rogers!!”

“Just brushing up on my German,” he yells back as he gets closer and closer to the source of the cursing and shouting. “You know, they’d call you an Arsch-”

“Don’t you even think ab- fuck, Stevie, watch out! Three at your 9 o’clock!” 

Steve twists and turns to the right, still running towards the treeline that Bucky is shouting at him from.  He doesn’t slow down or turn back - he’s made that mistake before and gotten an earful - as Bucky takes out the Hydra goons with his rifle.

He doesn’t slow down or turn back until he gets to Bucky’s position. That’s where he draws the line. Steve’s not ever going anywhere without him. 

By the time he comes to a stop, Bucky has taken care of the last stragglers, and Steve collapses against a tree. 

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, you can say that again,” Bucky grumbles as he drops down from a tree branch. “What the fuck?”

They start running again, side by side, Bucky on his left like always. There’s no benefit in sticking around. There might be more Hydra soldiers out there, and the other Howlies will definitely give them shit if they take much longer catching up to the group. 

“Hmm.”

“I was this close to coming in and dragging your ass out. Did we not have a plan?” 

“I was fine. I am fine, stop bitching, Buck.”

Bucky pushes his shoulder against Steve’s, and he winces. Of course, Bucky notices. “Fine, huh? I’m thinkin I should just tie myself to you so you don’t go runnin’ off making stupid ass decisions.”

“What makes you think I won’t do that with you tied to me?”

“Good point,” Bucky huffs. “You’d probably enjoy it, and then you’d just drag me int-”

The rest of his sentence gets cut off by a blood curdling scream. Steve’s heart stops. It’s Bucky. 

****

Steve jolts awake. 

He’s drenched in sweat, his senses still reeling. A little disoriented, he scans his dimly lit room, heart hammering against his ribcage, the image of Bucky lying motionless on the ground, blood staining the fabric of his uniform, still seared freshly into his mind.

It’s hard to ground himself. It seemed so real for a moment, like it was yesterday. But he’s not waking up in a tent in the French countryside, or on his cot back at SSR headquarters in London. He’s not waking up with-

He wakes up alone, in his DC apartment, and it’s never felt more suffocatingly small.  

With a heavy sigh, Steve swings his legs over the edge of his bed.  His muscles are protesting with the weight of exhaustion that still clings to him, but there’s no point in staying in bed. It’s not like he’s gonna get much more sleep now. He knows what images he’ll see if he closes his eyes.

Instead, he forces himself out of bed, switches out of his sweat-drenched clothes and into his running gear, and makes his way out of the apartment as quickly as he can. 

Running - ironically, given tonight’s dream - will help. Just to have a moment, an hour (or two) to not have to think, that’s all he needs. It doesn’t matter that it’s barely light out. He’ll be at it for a while. 

Maybe he'll try a different route today. Make his way south towards the Potomac, run a couple laps around the Mall before it’s run over with tourists.

Yeah, that’s what he’ll do. The sunrise over the Mall will make a pretty sight. Not enough to dislodge the dream still haunting him, but he doesn’t think anything ever will be. 

He doesn’t take much time to warm up, even if he knows he should. Soon enough, he’s running full speed.

He’s running. 

Steve’s running fast, but his lungs don’t burn. His heart, though. His heart aches.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey slug! Obviously it's a bit older now, but I was wondering if you might be able to translate Sougyaran BAM, from Kuko? I feel like I don't quite understand the TLs I have seen, so I was wondering if there were certain references or concepts I'm missing here lol

I saw the email notification of this request at the perfect moment. Too anxious to do work or anything else productive. Too caffeinated to sleep. Fuck it. Time to look at Kuukou for an hour.

Under a cut for length

Like a lot of Kuukou's... well, everything... this song is an eclectic mix of elements that can all more or less be distilled into these couple of bullet points:

Trying to fight the listener

Dropping powerful life advice or Buddhist teachings

Claiming his music is both a game changer and the kind of stuff that gets your blood pumping

Scatting, rhyming without meaning, or otherwise making wordplay

Outside of the parts that are straight-up nonsensical, the majority of the rap is very casual to the point of being rude. However, it's also interspersed with formal religious language. Again, both of these are how Kuukou talks, but I get why this would make it difficult for someone to translate.

I talk about this a lot whenever I translate anything, but an important (and maybe the most important!) part of any translation is determining the methodology, focus, and goals before you begin. I figure that if someone's asking me to look at song lyrics for songs that have been out for years, they probably care a lot more about the minutiae of what the character's saying than if I'm writing a rap as part of a longer work where readers aren't going to give it much attention. In that second case, it's probably more important to convey the appearance of a rap--rhyme, rhythm, what have you--and make sure I'm hitting the overall meaning rather than translate word-for-word. You know? The issue is, translating word-for-word would produce mostly nonsense on this one, since my interpretation of its meaning is largely coming from reading between the lines. There's also no real meaning outside of the four bullet points above. It's all vibes. So, this is a vibe-focused translation. When Kuukou says something with no meaning (that I can tell) outside of wordplay, I've exchanged it with a fresh wordplay. At the same time, since I assume the audience wants to know the minutiae, I put footnotes at the very end for the most curious souls. Finally, outside of wordplay moments, there is no attention paid to rhyming, rhythm, or line length.

Also I spent like forty minutes on it so it isn't a polished work of art or anything of the sort. Lyrics:

You wanna piece of this? That’s cool, tough guy. Bring it on. ‘Cause I’mma mess you up. Hmm? You’ve had enough? Yeah, bitch, I bet you’re fuckin’ SATIETIED. Who the hell do you think you are? Aw, who I am kidding? It doesn’t matter who you are. I’ve never met an ass I couldn’t kick! And while I’m here thrashing your sorry butt, listen up. I’m Kuukou from Bad Ass Temple, representing Nagoya, yo. And I’m gonna be world champion. Whazzat? Who do I think I am, some kinda fancy-pants hotshot? Nah, dawg. I’m a monk, haha! Get in the zone, do it or go home, this ain’t the scene you’ve known. [1] I’m a rebellious rhymer staging a revolution. C’mon, join me! Let me hear your voices!

“Enough determination can move mountains,” as they say. Yeah, a-a-a-and I’ve got determination for days.

San gha gharan bam! [2] S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue [3] Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader [4] Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Say what? Rules, rules, rules—who the fuck cares about rules? I’m the ruler now. A ruler and a schooler. [5] Yo, I’ve got that brand new music— When I ring this giant bell, people hear that shit far and wide. Beat it! And lyrics? You already know I spit so much fire they call me a dragon. I’m all about the impulses, the anarchy, let’s fuckin’ go! I’m a breath of fresh air up in this shit. Eight pulls, nine pulls, ten pulls—someone say temples? [6] If you don’t know already, then you oughta listen up. You don’t need any of these options. Go make your own. Paint that shit vibrantly. Go try something new! And if it goes so well you can indulge in some goddamn rejoicin’? Then hell yeah, now we’re talking.

Yo, man. The world’s all in how you see it, as they say, and don’t you ever forget it. A-a-a-and I may be a monk, but I’m not preachin’ just to scold you! [7]

San gha gharan bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Yeah, life’s got ups and downs. You asking me, “Whatchu lookin’ at?” [8] Your ASS, lol got ‘em. Wassup, wassup, I’m a rhymer. I’m makin’ some good shit up in here. Hm? Ey, dance, dance over days when our hearts are aligned [9] Shoo bidoo doo bidoo Roo bidoo doo bidoo Tickili tickili tackili-tatt-too

Yeah! Haha! My rapping’s freakin’ EXHILARATORY. Hello! Aight, c’mon on, lemme give you some of this and wake you right up. Yo, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ho!

Gharan bam gharan bam Gh-gh-gh-gh hey! Bring it on, tough guy! R-r-rapping, rapping, r-r-rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue R-r-rapping, yeah, gh-gh-gh, hey!

Yeah, clear the scene, ‘cause I’mma reinvent the scene. [10] Yo, get outta my way. I’m Evil Monk, the dragon of Bad Ass Temple, you know. Rrrrrrah! [1] This last is literally "clear weather (空)" or "energetic vibes (空)." At face value, it appears to be nonsense for rhyming. However, at the very end of the song, Kuukou talks about "the vibes/the scene (空気)" changing and him changing it (which can also be read as the weather changing/clearing up), which makes me wonder if those two are related. Just in case, I wrote them with a possible connection in English too.

[2] 僧伽藍 (sangharan) is a short form of 僧伽藍摩 (sangharama), a Buddhist temple or monastery. Bam is, of course, the sound of Kuukou throwing hands.

[3] 饒舌 (jouzetsu) is a fairly formal word in Japanese to refer to excessive talking. However, I was surprised to learn in the process of TLing this that it's also Chinese for rapping which appears to be how Kuukou's using it here. Also, if you're curious how English "jazzy" became "razzle-dazzle," I realized near the end of the song that I needed to start this word with the same sound as "rapping" (because he scats the j sound on jazzy and jouzetsu) whereupon I set out to find a good synonym. The issue is, I wasn't sure exactly how the lyric writers were using the term, so I put "jazzy" in an English-to-Japanese dictionary to get "loud, invigorating, eye-catching." Yeah, that's Kuukou all right. "Razzle-dazzle" is similar and starts with an r, so there we go.

[4] The lyrics say "xy な leader" (the な is just indicating that "xy" is being used as an adjective, btw) which I assumed means sexy... ekkusu ii said quickly sounds like sekushii. To be sure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree entirely, I ran a quick Twitter search on that line and found a very large number of Japanese Tweeters thinking the exact same thing I was. (It looks like Kuukou's VA once flashed his collarbone on this line in a concert, delighting scores of collarbone lovers everywhere.) That being said, searching anything on Twitter and finding horny Tweets isn't exactly a novel concept. Well, if I'm wrong about this, then at least I'm in the good company of all the thirsty Kuukou fans. Hahaha. If this seems OoC to you, I feel like it's here mainly for fanservice, not necessarily because Kuukou's trying to get some with the person he's beating up and/or preaching at. Although, idk. If you ship Kuukou with anyone, you could very well see some parallels...

[5] Literally "I'll beat up [everything] including the roulette board." Wordplay on rules (ruuru), ruler (ruuraa), and roulette (ruuretto)

[6] Literally "Terapii (therapy), terapii, terapii, tera (temple)-- Oh, the age of temples?" Wordplay/stupid joke

[7] I don't like how I worded this line, but I don't care enough to spend much more time fussing over it. Kuukou's making a joke that, as a monk, he delivers religious sermons 説法. However, in colloquial terms, a 説法 is a telling-off when someone does something undesirable. Kuukou, as a frequent doer of undesirable things, gets these from his dad constantly. Therefore, he's being like, "This isn't the LAME STUPID kind of 説法... this is the kind that ROCKS! *sick guitar riff*"

[8] These two lines seem like complete non sequiturs because they're paired together in Japanese for rhyming. (nami ga dekiru/nani ga mieru)

[9] I admit that I'm struggling to understand this line because the grammar is very irregular. Japanese Twitter is not being especially helpful here, as most Tweets featuring it are some version of "God, this damn song is stuck in my head."

[10] Literally "[Someone] changes the atmosphere/scene. The atmosphere/scene changes." See note 1

[sunriserose1023]

Point of Ignition [five]

WARNINGS: Flirting, sexual innuendo, jealousy, slight emotional angst WORD COUNT: 2989

masterlist

You walked down the hall to the kitchen, coming to a stop when you saw Bucky’s bare back at the stove. He glanced over a tattooed shoulder and smiled when he saw you. 

“Morning, Pidge. Hungry?”

You blinked, the huskiness of his voice in the morning making you want to give a full-body shiver. You shook your head and walked past him to the fridge. He turned his attention back to the stove as he spoke again. 

“Coffee’s almost ready, if you drink that sort of thing.” “Depends. Do you have any creamer?”

You whirled away from the fridge, pointing at him. 

“If you say one thing about how you’ve got some cream you can give me, I swear to God—“

Bucky laughed, holding his hands up by his head. 

“Down, girl. I won’t say anything, I promise.”

You glared at him until he lowered his hands and turned back to the stove. 

“There’s some in there. I personally like a little cream and sugar in mine.”

You opened the door and found the French vanilla creamer, starting to back out of the fridge but stopping when Bucky was suddenly behind you. 

“Hold on, Pidge.”

You watched him reach over your shoulder, his muscular arm moving a few things around and bringing out a bottle of hazelnut caramel creamer. You lifted your eyes to his, unable to stop the smile when he grinned at you. 

“Can’t let my badass reputation be tarnished by something like this.” “Oh no, we wouldn’t want that.” “Plus, Sam would never let me live it down.” “I bet.”

You kept smiling as you stared up at him, kind of enraptured by his blue eyes and the dark stubble on his face. The heat of his skin near yours was contrasted by the cool air from the fridge, and after a moment of the two of you just staring at each other, you spoke softly. 

“Your bacon is burning.” “Hmm?”

You nodded behind him and Bucky glanced over his shoulder. 

“Oh, shit.”

You giggled as he hurried to flip the bacon, shaking your head as you closed the fridge, then poured yourself a cup of coffee. After you’d added the creamer, you lifted the mug to your lips and just held it there before taking a slow sip. You closed your eyes as the warmth of the coffee filled your mouth, then your throat, warming your chest as you swallowed. You opened your eyes to see Bucky staring at you, a soft smile on his lips. You felt your cheeks warm, and he turned back to the stove, cracking an egg into a skillet. 

“Did you sleep okay?”

You nodded. 

“Yeah, you kept your hands to yourself and everything.” “Told you I would, Pidge.” “I was just about certain you’d try to cop a feel.”

Bucky chuckled, keeping his back to you. 

“You’ve made your feelings clear, Pidge. I don’t want to feel up anybody who doesn’t want me to.” “Maybe you’re not as bad as I’ve made you out to be.”

Bucky looked over his shoulder, blue eyes wide. 

“That sounded damn near close to a compliment, Pidge.” “Oh, whatever.” “That was the nicest thing you’ve said to me." “You’re full of shit.” “I take it back. That was the nicest thing.”

He laughed as you threw a balled-up paper towel at him. He shook his head, stepping to the side and grabbing a plate he’d gotten out of the cabinet and set on the counter. 

“Here I am, slaving away to make sure you have a warm breakfast, and the abuse I’m suffering in my own kitchen…” “I didn’t ask you to make me breakfast.”

“You didn’t have to. This is just me being a good host.”

He handed you a plate with scrambled eggs, a few pieces of bacon, and a buttered piece of toast. He turned back to the stove and you took your plate to the bar, sitting on a barstool and taking a bite of bacon. 

“You do this for all your friends who spend the night?”

Bucky had a smile on his face as he glanced back at you. 

“I don’t have any friends who spend the night.” “So the girl on the couch last night?”

“She’d have been long gone before breakfast."

He turned back with a plate in his hand with double the amount of food he’d given you. You raised your eyebrows as you met his eyes and he gave you a wink before digging in. You shook your head, setting your toast back on the plate. 

“I don’t understand.” “What?”

You cut your eyes towards the couch and Bucky sighed. 

“It’s just sex, Pidge.”

You blinked, watching him shovel a huge bite of eggs into his mouth, chew and swallow before he spoke again. 

“I’m not looking for long-term. I’m not trying to find someone to settle down with who will have my babies. I’m here for a good time.”

He shrugged his shoulders as he dug into his toast, and you wrinkled your nose when he talked with food in his mouth. 

“I don’t let girls spend the night. You’re my first there, pigeon.” “Did anyone ever teach you basic table manners? Like not to speak with your mouth full?”

Bucky grinned and winked at you. 

“My mama would have my ass. “She needs to.”

Bucky winked at you again, and you rolled your eyes before you went back to your plate. The two of you settled into a comfortable silence, and when Bucky was finished eating, he stood up. 

“Seriously, Pidge. As long as you’re here, you’ll be the only one in my bed.” “But not your couch.” “See? You catch on quick.”

You shook your head, but smiled as Bucky took your empty plate and his to the sink. 

You took your seat in the auditorium, a nervous flutter in your belly. You would get your test score today, and if you had failed it, you didn’t know what you would do. You knew one failing grade wouldn’t be the end of your college career, but you couldn’t stop those “end of the world” thoughts from coming. You huffed out a breath and tried to reorganize your supplies again, stilling when the normally-empty seat beside you became occupied. 

“You nervous about the results too?”

You met John Walker’s eyes with a smile. 

“I’m not the only one?”

John sighed, setting his bag down in the seat beside him. 

“Definitely not. I haven’t lost any sleep over it, but I’m a little nervous now." “Me too.” “I’m sure you did fine.”

You nodded, looking back down at your notebook. 

“But what if I didn’t?”

Your voice was barely a whisper. You swallowed, thinking about the water bottle you had in your bag, the thought slipping away when a warm hand covered yours. You turned your head to see John smiling softly at you. 

“It’s not the end of the world. This is only the first test. You’ve got chances to bring your grade up if you didn’t do as well as you wanted to.”

You smiled back at him, holding his eyes. 

“Thank you.”

His smile grew, then went comically twisted as the professor walked into the room. You bit your lip to keep from laughing, turning your attention to the front of the room, feeling your cheeks warm when John didn’t move his hand from yours. You turned your hand over and he gently gave yours a squeeze, holding on as the professor began his lecture.

You stood beside John outside the auditorium, the two of you back from the crowd that had gathered beside the bulletin board. The professor had made a list of the test grades and posted them on the board, so not only would you know if you’d failed, but so would everyone else. You tried not to focus on that, but it was hard as you watched the different students in your class go through a range of emotions as they read their grades. 

“Ooh, he definitely failed.”

You glanced over to where John nodded, at a guy who walked to a table and sat down, putting his head in his hands. At a quiet cheer, you looked back at the crowds, seeing a girl with her hands up in the air. 

“She definitely did not.” “Getting My Degree Barbie.”

You laughed, covering your mouth with a hand. The crowd was slowly dispersing, giving that nervous flutter in your tummy a chance to grow. John took your hand in his, leading the two of you to the board. You blew out a breath, shaking your head. 

“You go first.”

John nodded, going towards the end of the list and finding his name. 

“C minus. Thank God.”

He gave a nervous laugh and you swallowed, eyes scanning the list until you found your name. Your eyes widened. 

“B. I got a B?”

John pointed to your name and you nodded, a smile spreading over his face as he nodded. 

“You got a B!”

You laughed as he swept you into his arms and you held him tightly. 

“Oh my god, what a relief!”

John gave you a squeeze, then stepped back, holding onto your arms. 

“See, you were all nervous for nothing. But I’m going to need to study with you for the next test. Maybe some of your genius can rub off on me.”

You laughed again as you pushed his shoulder, shaking your head. He grabbed your hand, smiling when you met his eyes. 

“Let’s celebrate. Can I take you out tonight? Say 7:30?”

You stared into his eyes, liking the way his smile was a little crooked. You found yourself nodding, a soft smile on your lips. 

You hurried across the hall, raising your hand as you got to Sam’s door. 

Knock knock knock

“Nat!”

Knock knock knock

“Nat!”

Knock knock knock

“Nat!”

You grinned as you stepped back, tapping your foot as you waited. You raised your hand again, repeating the knocks. 

“Big Bang Theory?”

You whirled around, pressing yourself against the wall as Bucky stepped out of his bedroom. You’d locked yourself in the bathroom as you were getting ready, and he hadn’t been home when you’d started. He propped a shoulder against his doorframe, a smile on his lips. You shrugged. 

“It’s funny.”

Bucky slowly nodded. 

“They’re not home.” “Yeah, I got that.”

You kept your back against the wall as his icy blue eyes slowly took you in. 

“You look nice, Pidge. Hot date?” “None of your business.”

You felt your face warm and Bucky raised an eyebrow. 

“You’ve got a date?” “Please, inflect that sentence a bit more.”

You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m not a complete troll, you know.” “I never said you were.”

You look at him and narrowed your eyes a bit. His once-relaxed shoulders were raised, tense, jaw clenched, hands absently making fists. You couldn’t help but smile as realization hit.  

“Bucky, are you jealous?”

Both of his eyebrows raised a second before he scoffed, and you noticed he was no longer leaning against his door. 

“Why would I be jealous?” “You tell me.”

He rolled his eyes, starting to walk down the hall. You bit your lip, then called after him. He stopped and turned back to you, and you sighed. 

“Would you do something for me?”

He held your eyes for a moment, then sighed himself.

“You gotta know I’d do anything for you, pigeon.”

You rolled your eyes so hard you swore you could see the back of your skull. Bucky laughed, then made his way back to you. 

“What can I do for you, Pidge?”

You sighed, then turned your back to him. 

“I can’t reach.”

You stood there, feeling like an idiot with the back of your dress open. Your eyes darted from the floor to the walls to the ceiling, completely missing Bucky’s enraptured stare at the bare skin of your back, interrupted by the lace of your bra. You waited a moment, speaking softly. 

“Bucky?” “Yeah, I—I got it.”

You sucked in a breath when his scarred knuckles brushed against your skin as he slowly slid the dress’ zipper up. You closed your eyes to keep your body from shivering at his gentle touch, eyes flying open and sucking in a breath when Bucky squeezed your hips in his big hands. 

“There.”

You turned to face him, seeing a soft smile on his lips. 

“You look beautiful, Pidge. Much better than you did for our date.”

Your mouth fell open as he laughed. You reached out and punched his shoulder, and he stepped back, one hand moving to rub the area. 

“Damn, girl. Maybe I should talk to them about getting you in the ring with me.” “I’d hate to embarrass you in front of all your adoring fans.”

Bucky grinned as he followed you across the hall. 

“You’d beat the shit out of me, pigeon. I just know it.” “Hey, maybe then I could give your couch a workout.”

The grin slid from Bucky’s face and you laughed. 

“You should see your face! I thought you were ‘what’s good for the goose’ and all. Big talker.”

He narrowed his eyes at you and you snorted as you left his room to go back across the hall. You turned the knob and went into Sam’s room, finding a pair of Natasha’s heels. You turned to leave the room, jumping when you noticed Bucky at the door. 

“Jeez, make some noise.”

He stepped aside to let you pass, following you down the hall. You bypassed the couch to sit in one of the recliners, slipping your feet into Natasha’s heels. You stood up, smoothing your hands down the front of your dress, turning to face Bucky. 

“What do you think? Too much?”

Bucky let his eyes roam from your head down to your feet, smiling when he met your eyes again. 

“Beautiful. Guy’s not gonna know what hit him.”

You rolled your eyes, but smiled. 

“Thanks. Do you have a spare key I can use?”

Bucky shook his head. 

“It’ll be unlocked.” “I don’t know what time I’ll be back. I don’t want to have to wake anybody up.” “You won’t.”

You tilted your head, narrowing your eyes at him. You propped a hand on your hip, eyes widening when realization hit you. 

“Bucky, you are not going to wait up for me.” “Never said I was.” “No, but you heavily insinuated it.” “Have fun on your date, Pidge.”

He turned and walked down the hall, ignoring the way you called after him. You gave an irritated huff before going to the front door, letting it slam shut behind you. 

Bucky sat on his bed and stared at the wall. He’d heard the door shut, so he knew you were gone and he was alone in the apartment. He lifted a hand to rub at his chin, unable to shake the weird feelings that had come over him the minute he discovered you had a date. It’s not like he was surprised; you were beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you. 

He just didn’t want any guy to have you. 

Fuck. 

Bucky pushed his hands through his hair and stood up, pacing the floor between the door and his bed. 

You weren’t interested in him. You’d made that perfectly clear, and he understood. He wasn’t going to nag you until you gave in, and the moment Bucky Barnes got on his knees to beg for a woman would be his last moment on Earth. 

He shook his head, continuing to pace. 

He knew the two of you had a connection. You could fight it all you wanted, but even you couldn’t deny it. Maybe not a romantic attraction, but there was something there. He knew it in the way your smile made him feel warm all the way down to his toes. How teasing you was one of his new favorite pastimes, and that swelling he felt in his chest when you teased him right back. The way you didn’t shirk away from his touches, but rather leaned into them, almost like you were needing it. 

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think this was a slow burn into falling in love with you. 

Bucky came to a hard stop, turning his head and seeing his shocked face in the mirror. 

No. 

Absolutely not. 

Bucky Barnes did not fall in love. He was here for a good time, and love was definitely not a good time. It was too much work and could rip a person to shreds and he was not about that. His dealings with women were more business transactions than romance. 

And didn’t that sound dirty and wrong?

Bucky shook his head. He met a girl, made her laugh, took her home and made doubly sure she … enjoyed herself. He was meticulous about making sure she understood there was no chance for a relationship, nothing more than sex, with the slightest possibility for more sex if it was good enough. It was a good system that had worked extremely well for him for the past year and a half. 

But the thought of adding you to that equation, to having you on the couch like the rest of the girls made him kind of sick to his stomach. 

Bucky groaned, pushing his hands through his hair again. He walked to the bed and sat down, slowly rubbing his hands together, unseeing eyes locked on the wall. 

This was nothing. A little crush he had to get over. You’d told him before, you were the first girl who’d told him no, so he saw you as a challenge. You didn’t want him romantically, but you seemed to enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed yours. 

So, he’d be your friend. He’d be your best friend. 

And that would have to be enough. 

PREVIOUS//NEXT

[bigsunflowergang]

Good plan, wrong people (E1610)

*all my posts are x black! reader*

summary: miles wants his girlfriend to meet his friend… but it doesn’t go well at all

Miles wasn’t stupid. Far from it quite frankly. But as he sat and watched everything unfold that night, he couldn’t help but think.

“i’m so fucking stupid” he sighed, facepalming himself before trying to stop the fight.

But let’s start from earlier.

“I just think you two should meet, it'll be cool to hang out with my girlfriend and one of my close friends together" Miles shrugged, looking at [name] with hope in his eyes.

"fine Miles. ill meet your friend" she chuckled, watching as Miles's eyes gleamed.

"great! she should be here soon" he smiled, making her raise an eyebrow.

"hmm, okay. lemme go get my phone" she said, making Miles nod as he turned the TV back up.

[name] went into Miles's room, humming before coming to a complete stop.

who in the fuck is this? she asked herself in her head.

"um, hey... are you Miles's friend?"

the girl in front of her nodded, not paying much mind to her.

"cool.. I'm [name], Miles's girlfriend" she smiled, trying to play nice for her boyfriend's sake.

silence.

"mm.. aight. MILES YOUR FRIEND HERE" [name] said after realizing she wasn't gonna get anything out of the girl.

Miles appeared in the doorway, his eyes wide.

"hu- oh hey Gwen" he said, nervously as his eyes shifted between Gwen and [name].

"uh this is-"

"I already told her who I was," she started, before turning to Gwen. "Just got a bunch of crickets when I did though," she mumbled, eyeing Gwen up and down before looking back at Miles.

"you changed your room around? it wasn't like this the last time I was here" Gwen said to Miles, ignoring the slight glare she was getting.

"the last time you was here-?" [name] voiced, now shifting her gaze to Miles who swallowed thickly.

"let's-let's go to the roof. mami might be home soon" he mumbled.

[name] chuckled dryly, walking out the door and up to the roof.

"mi amor!" miles called, making her turn around and wait for him to catch up.

"what?"

"just let me explain-"

"explain what?" she asked, making him shut up.

she turned back around, opening the door to the roof.

she walked to the railing, picking up the noise of 2 pairs of feet following her.

she leaned on it, looking out into the city as Miles and Gwen approached.

"remember when we sat on the Empire State Building and watched the sunset?" Gwen asked Miles, making [name]'s head snap over to them.

Miles's eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed at Gwen.

"uh- I- um.. yeah?" he said, more like a question than an answer.

she smiled at him as he made eye contact with [name].

he could see she was on the verge of blanking, so he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"im trying for you, Miles. I really am. but now im finding out you're a sneaky ass nigga and Ian too much going for it" she said bluntly, pushing his arm from around her.

"is he sneaky or do you just not pay attention-"

"bitch Ian ask you. you ain't wanna talk the whole time you been here, don't start now" [name] interrupted, making Gwen scoff.

3

"ma, chill" Miles sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

2

"shut up, Miles"

"you're talking to him like that?" Gwen asked, scrunching her face up.

"why you worried bout how I'm talking to my boyfriend?" [name] asked, leaning up off the rail.

"talking like that, maybe you don't need a boyfriend"

1

SMACK!

Miles stood totally frozen as Gwen's cheek reddened from the impact of the backhand.

"ion know where you from, shorty, but we don't take rudeness too lightly over here" [name] said, glaring at her.

Gwen stood totally in shock before attempting to punch her.

damn, how tragic.

[name] weaved before throwing a 2 piece, hitting Gwen in her nose and her other cheek.

and it just went up from there.

Gwen wailing "get off of me! Miles! get her off of me!"

Miles panicking, trying to figure out a way to get [name] off of Gwen.

[name] relentlessly punching the shit out of Gwen yelling, "talk shit now bitch! talk shit now!"

“i’m so fucking stupid” Miles sighed, facepalming himself before trying to stop the fight.

he tried to just grab [name], which ended with him getting hit in the chest on accident.

he finally came to his senses, webbed her before pulling her to him and bear hugging her so she couldn't get back to Gwen.

"get the fuck off me Miles! you let her do all that talking and shit now wann-"

"[name! chill!" he huffed, tightening his arms around her.

Gwen got up, tears in her eyes as she held her face.

"go tell your people how they spiderwoman got beat the fuck up!" [name] spat, glaring at Gwen with the most anger.

the only things you could hear then were Gwen walking away and [name]'s heavy breathing.

once Gwen got out of sight, he let her go.

"really? really?" he asked, frustrated.

he really wanted this to work.

"really? you're mad at me when im the one finding out my nigga going behind my back letting bitches in his room and watching sunsets n shit?" she asked, looking at him like he was dumb.

"look, I know, im wrong ma. but I really wanted y'all to get along so Ian have to like..." he trailed off, making her eyebrow raise.

"what? so you gotta keep lying to me? going behind my back?" she asked, sticking her neck out.

he groaned, throwing his head back.

"lo siento, mami. but she was dragging it. she just came in my room like once for a brief time because we had a mission" he defended himself, dragging her to him by her waist.

"you still took her to see the sunset" she said, attempting to move his hands but he only gripped her tighter.

"nothing like that, babe. just having a talk before she went back home" he said, making her hum.

"mhm, I hear you"

he rolled his eyes, playfully.

"you know I wouldn't do you bad, stop tripping" he chuckled, making her smile softly.

~

"she's fucking rude!" [name] began explaining to Miles as they laid in his bed.

"I walked in and I asked her are you miles friend? crickets, but she nodded her head. then I introduced myself, crickets. she aint even acknowledge me" she huffed, making Miles shake his head.

"im sorry, ma" he sighed, rubbing her back up and down as she laid on his chest.

"its okay, baby. im sorry for putting you in that situation on the roof," she sighed. "I really did try, I promise."

"don't worry bout it, its all good" he smiled at her, making her smile and give him a thumbs up.

The end.

{a/n: hey! first post lol! also, I don't use much Spanish for E1610 Miles because he doesn't use much of it in the movies plus it's my sense of contrast with him and E42 Miles (who has more of a Spanish influence from only having his mom). but thanks for reading, hope you all enjoy!}

[paracosmenthusiast]

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Chapter 4: Stick Season

Subtitle: The Bear Followed You On Instagram

``

Why the fuck did I do that?

Is there a part of me that wants him back? Or is this some sort of outlandish retribution for running away from my engagement? What the fuck am I doing?

“What are you doing here?”

I look up slowly. “In my own apartment?”

He’s dressed now, thankfully, but that shirt is a little too well-fitting and it’s too hard to look away. His hair is still wet from the shower, little droplets landing on his collar. He’s standing in the hallway, a specter, a visage from the past. I have five missed calls from Kendra and the phone is in my hand ringing again.

I push away from the island counter where I was leaning and walk to the door. “I had to get away from home and this is where I ended up.”

“Down the street from–my restaurant.” He doesn’t budge from the hallway and when I look back at him his eyebrows are up.

Hmm. He doesn’t actually look that well like I thought before. Hollow-eyed and tired. I wonder when the last time he slept was. “Yeah, I guess so, Carmen. Are you going to leave or are you squatting now? Because my friend is trying to get a hold of me.”

“Yes. Sorry.” That spurs him into motion, and he joins me at the doorway.

I open the door. And he still lingers. Like the bad aftertaste of nicotine (and I can smell the cigarettes on his clothes).

“She told me she loved me. Uh, the girl who kicked me out. And I didn’t say it back.” Why is he looking at me like that? Beseechingly. Like he’s hungry for some kind of reassurance.

When I don’t say anything, he pushes forward, same tone, almost puzzled: “I said it to you.”

It clicks then, because I’ve had that conversation with myself, because I’ve felt that feeling myself, that, Oh, what’s wrong with me, what am I feeling, why is it different?

“I really wrecked it,” he says, makes some obscure hand gesture that I can’t quite catch because I’m in my own head, “I don’t know why I did that. Why did I do that?”

Without even asking me if it’s alright he puts his hand on the door above mine and pushes it closed. Oh, for fuck’s sake, Carmen, I have to get Kendra. But since it’s Carmen’s open mic time he’s still fucking talking. “What can I do to–to not do it again?”

Like a little kid trying to jam a square peg in a round hole. Can’t comprehend what went wrong, can’t understand the rules of the game, can’t see why it won’t just fit.

“So now you’re, what? Taking it out on your cooking? In your kitchen, on your chefs, maybe? Fuck me, I’m such a piece of shit, I can’t even cook this dish which anyone else would think is perfect but will never be good enough for Carmen the perfectionist, why the fuck are you all so slow?”

He presses his lips together and when he speaks it’s brusque and tense. I think I hit home with the last remark. “Yeah, a little bit.”

“And what do you call what you’re doing now?” It’s mean and I shouldn’t say it, I know I shouldn’t say it because the emotion goes straight to my head, a rush of adrenaline, I say it fast before I can take it back: “Do you somehow think you’re justified to fuck me and then air your pain out on me? What about me? What about what you did, to me?”

He drops his gaze to the floor, fast. A quick breath out and an expletive, really, like I struck him: “Fuck.”

“You said you’d never let me go,” I say. One shoulder shrug. In a weird way I don’t even feel bad for hurting him. “It’s plain and simple in retrospect to see how we unraveled, because I would’ve fought my own pain and continued to advocate for you, (for us) and I would’ve stayed in that apartment, if you had reached out to me, if you had come to me, if you had–”

I’m not sure where the words came from or really what I expected from them, but certainly not the wide-eyed shocked pain on his face like he never thought I’d say it. I keep going, continue like a ghost is controlling me. “But you let me go. Why couldn’t you say, don’t go?”

“I didn’t deserve to do that,” he says. “What if you had stayed? With someone like me who did something like that? I didn’t even–I didn’t even feel sad you were gone, because I couldn’t allow myself that, because what the fuck would that even be? B-boo hoo, poor me, I destroyed something and now I’m gonna cry about it? I wouldn’t even be justified to miss you. I couldn’t give myself that kindness.”

What the fuck? Crying over us was a kindness he couldn’t award himself? Now I know exactly what he’s going to say next, because I’ve heard it a thousand times, and without meaning to, I say it in unison with him, mocking him, he takes a deep breath and says (and I mimic him) “I’m a piece of shit.”

That surprises him too.

“Yeah, I know all your plays at this point, buddy.” I reach out and pat his arm. Gruff and awkward. “You’re such a piece of shit you can’t be held accountable for your actions, because you’re just, inherently evil, just too fucked up to ever be good, how could anyone ever expect different, so of course your relationship blew up, right? It doesn’t even hurt because you did it to yourself, because you don’t believe you can be a better man.”

“Okay, thanks,” he says. “I got it. You’re not happy about four years ago. I don’t know why I brought it up.”

“Yeah, because this is what you sound like: ‘It’s so hard to be a bad person, you couldn’t even understand what I’m going through because you’re just a good person with a good upbringing who’d never do such a thing,’ isn’t that right?”

“Fuck you,” he says.

I want to mock him for trying to run away from the conversation now that it’s pointed at his actual motivations, but I take a breath and I stop myself.

He’s right. That was four years ago. And I don’t know why the pain feels all weird and fresh like it just fucking happened, because it didn’t, because none of this is new.

I had four years to watch him over the internet and try to figure out why it had to happen to me. And the truth is that it happened to me because I backed down. He tried to self-destruct and I let him.

Who’s the little kid now? I let him come up and destroy my sandcastle, watched it happen, did nothing, and now I’m crying about it?

Angrily, I rub my eyes, squinch out the tears before they can fully form. “Listen, Carmy–”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t call me that.” He grabs my hands, startling me with the abruptness, and pulls them from my face. Less like a command and more like he’s pleading with me.

For one tense moment we remain like that, almost like an embrace, except he’s gripping me so hard it hurts, then he realizes how tightly he is holding my wrists and he gently releases his grip. I rub my forearms, wrists, just to give myself something to do. It makes it easier to get the words out.

I don’t want to tell him but I do: “I wish I hadn’t walked away and let you break everything I worked so hard to build, but I did. I’m in Chicago to flee an engagement that I broke with no warning. I am not your monument of honor. I am not your idyllic and shining good samaritan. I have done bad things too. I just don’t break as easy as you.”

I don’t think he even hears that last part.

“You’re engaged,” he says. Weakly.

“Not anymore.”

“Why are you telling me?”

Slowly, trying not to appear rude, I pull open the door, and step aside so he can leave. “Because you aren’t a villain, and I don’t accept that bizarre narrative you have for yourself, because I loved you, Carmen, I loved you, and it was impossible for me to accept what you did and it left me reeling because I–I simply couldn’t fathom how you could do that, not you, not the guy I knew. Somebody else, maybe. Somebody else could do that, sure. But not you.”

Shame-faced but only momentarily. He struggles to compose it and it kills my empathy just a little to watch that mask emerge. Obviously it takes him another moment to get his voice under control, because he steps out into the hallway before turning back to look at me. “But I did do it, didn’t I?”

He turns his face quick, but not before I see the way his lips part, not before one errant tear escapes and he has to angrily swipe it away. A little laugh escapes me before I can help it and he begrudgingly laughs, too.

“This is fucking stupid,” he says. “I should not be–why are we doing this now? Why didn’t you do this four years ago?”

“I wanted to,” I say. “It just–I don’t know. It just didn’t happen.”

Some words that I’ve wanted to say to him for years come to mind. Words I wanted to say since I got over my initial burst of rage and realized how much I’d lost. And now I can actually say them, really, right to his face. I take a breath and look him up and down. To take it in, to memorize the shape of him in the doorframe, and to picture that I’m saying this four years ago to somebody who needed to hear it most:

“Who you are is not what you did.”

–

Carmen says to Claire, how all the good things in his life fall apart, how it’s her fault, of course it’s her fault, because to him, she is little more than an idol representing what he wants from a relationship, not what actually exists - she’s a literary device, a foil to his manic depressive rages, not a supporting character, not someone with agency or aspiration. And if she weren’t around he wouldn’t have a constant reminder of how much he is hurting, always. Carmen is a terrifying monster and Claire is a sweet and delicate flower he destroys in a fit of rage so he can torture himself and feed his own masochistic cycle.

What does it feel like to love someone who loses sight of who they are? Of what they want? Of why they’re still here, still hanging on, still waking up every morning? Are you the sweet and delicate flower who says chin up and fix your makeup and move on because a real man would treat you better? What kind of standard does that set for people who want to be better (when the path to redemption is so perilously long and disheartening?)

And what if you aren’t the delicate flower? What are you, if they have idolized you, and you are not a flower but some kind of monster, yourself?

What if even though everyone says you can find “a better man” you grit your teeth and put your hands in the mud because you don’t want a better man–you want this man, for better or for worse?

And how much does it hurt, when you have to trade your pain for forgiveness without any trace of righteous indignation, when you don’t get to explode the way they do on TV, when you don’t get to make a scene? When do you get your gratification?

You don’t. You have to let it go. It might feel good to scream and break things now but how will it feel when the glass you shattered in a fit of rage cuts the both of you? When no amount of glue and tears and heart-to-hearts will put it back together again? 

–

“And then he said what?”

“And then he said Yeah, okay. And kinda laughed and then he left and I stopped watching him through the peephole like a fucking serial killer would and then I went to pick up my phone to answer you. We’ve been over this.”

Kendra doesn’t care that we’ve been over this. She also doesn’t care that we are discussing something totally personal in front of a MOVING COMPANY and I don’t necessarily want to hash out my little backslide last night in front of all these burly men who keep giving me sidelong glances.

In fact, Kendra is perched at the small table and chairs that the moving guys brought in first, and she’s totally unbothered by their presence during our conversation. “I think it’s really interesting, personally.”

An accusation leaves my mouth before I can stop it. “You weren’t anywhere near as drunk, so why on Earth didn’t you tell me it was Carmen Berzatto that I was hitting on?!”

Kendra purses her lips. “One, I was busy with my own action. And two, I thought you knew! You guys were so buddy-buddy! And I was busy with my own thing at the time!”

“Yes, your own ‘thing,’ and how is she this morning?”

Kendra snorts. “You’re so fucking lucky she has so much patience. I can’t believe you ignored me for AN HOUR to hook up with your ex.”

“I didn’t–” I did all of those things. “Well, fuck me, Kendra. It was really fucking weird, that’s all.”

“Sounds really steamy.”

“Kendra–”

“In the shower… On the bathroom counter… Out on the couch…”

“Shut the actual fuck up.” I reach out, as I can physically silence her but realizing the futility of the motion I stop and grab my phone instead. Checking my notifications (like anything will be there) to distract myself from looking at my evil friend.

@Theoriginalbear started following you.

I slapped my phone face-down on the table and looked up at Kendra.

Her eyebrows were up. I could tell she wanted to laugh but she wanted to make sure I wasn’t about to freak out, first.

I turn my phone back over to check again. @Theoriginalbear started following you. When I open up Instagram to take a closer look, the profile picture is the front of the restaurant down the street, and when I open the profile, there he is. In a picture with a few other people, in a picture next to various fancy dishes, in a picture with a group of people all wearing the same navy shirt (I can’t make out the text on it) but entitled “throwback Thursday–”

And then in my haste to scroll down I double tap the photo and like it.

Fuck!

I slide my phone across the table to Kendra. “Take this away from me before I do more damage.”

“Why? What did you–Oh my god, you’re joking. This is so cute. Y’all are so cute. It’s sickening.” Kendra is giddy before she’s even fully picked up my phone. “He wants you back so bad!”

I frown. “Please don’t say that. It’s a delicate situation. And, in case you somehow forgot, I’m actually fleeing my home so I can escape from my own delicate situation? I don’t need to get entangled with somebody new right now.”

“But he’s not new. He’s–He’s still saved in your phone contacts, and as Carmy, and he sent you a picture… It’s… What the fuck is it? A spicy picture! Sending back a like…”

I launch myself across the table in an acrobatic demonstration brought on by sheer adrenaline-fueled panic, and attempt to rip the phone out of her meddling hands.

Kendra spins away, holding the phone out with her infuriatingly long arms (Damn the tall women!) and giggling. “Oh, would you relax? I was just joking. I wish I weren’t, but he just sent you a very suspect URL. Oh, never mind. It’s for a dinner reservation at his restaurant! Yayy! You’re paying.”

I sink back into my seat, abdomen a little sore from how I’d thrusted myself up onto the table. “If you said the URL looked suspect, why on Earth did you click on it so fast?”

“Sounds great, we’ll be there… delivered… Oh, and read! Your boy is literally waiting in the chat for you. That’s cute. Or desperate. What do you think?” Kendra holds out my phone, self-satisfied like the cat that ate the canary, and I take it back although there isn’t much point because what’s done is done and she already dug me way deeper than I wanted to be dug. In fact, I didn’t want to be dug, at all.

“You’re psychotic,” I tell her.

“I’m a wing-woman.”

“When’s the reservation for?”

“7:45. It’s a little bit earlier than I would’ve liked so I guess I’ll have to order a lot to keep us there past closing.” And she gives me this suggestive eyebrow wiggle that I absolutely detest because no, we will not be doing anything of the sort.

“No way. They would all hate that. And that’s rude. We’re not doing that.”

Kendra sighs and thank God at that point the movers are asking me for directions on where to put the rest of my belongings, so I get up from the table (with my phone safely in my pocket, mind you) to help.

Later I can think about the inevitable awkwardness to come. For right now? I can just pretend that my stupid friend did not stick me in a tense situation with my ex.

Who I just fucked, of course.

Aghhhhhhh. Why did I do that?

--

“Oh, this place is nice.”

It is nice. A little internet scrutiny had shown me the interior of the original restaurant–called “the Beef”–and I can say with certainty that Carmen’s renovations left it a much more upscale joint than it had been. Of course that makes sense given the restaurant he worked at back when we were dating.

Kendra has somewhat reined herself in since this morning, and we’re both dressed according to what we’d seen online from people who had tagged the restaurant, but I still feel out of place. Under-dressed, maybe.

Kendra reaches out, putting her hand over mine to prevent me from twisting the bracelet on my wrist. “Relax, stop fretting. You look great.”

“You both look great.”

I look up, startled by the incursion, and it’s a very tall and slim guy in a nicely tailored suit. At our obvious surprise he gives a welcoming smile. “I’m Richard, I know you’re guests of Carmen’s, so you already have your first course coming out here soon, but what can I get you to drink?”

“Well, I’d love a wine recommendation,” Kendra says, without missing a beat, and I have to restrain myself from groaning at the thought of drinking any more alcohol in the next twenty four hours. Besides, if I do have more alcohol, who knows what the fuck I might do later on, clearly I can’t be trusted to make responsible decisions.

They chat about it for a minute or two, wine, and when Kendra has made her selection, Richard turns to me.

I smile. A little caught in headlights but overall not that uncomfortable anymore. “Just water is fine for me.”

Although I can’t believe he referred to us as guests of Carmen. Oh, god. Is this going to become a whole thing?

I just barely got my apartment situated and some of my things unpacked. I do not want to have to look at relocating because I somehow managed to massively fuck up and not only live down the street from my ex’s workplace, but also go on to hook up with him my very first night here.

Thankfully, Kendra picks up on my obvious distaste for the situation, because she lets me off the hook and doesn’t bring Carmen up at all. And after our first and second course come and go without him making an appearance, I start to relax a little bit.

Without the tension of potentially talking to Carmen in front of Kendra, I can start to enjoy the ambiance of the restaurant. It’s definitely way nicer than I ever would’ve thought to bring Kendra, but she conducts herself like a professional in such a manner that I’m actually impressed. Not because I doubted her ability, but because the way she ordered was more fluent and affable than my quiet attempts.

But I can’t pronounce a lot of the things on the menu. This was always Carmen’s domain and like he loved to tell me back when we were dating, it was such a substantial strangeness that he and I had ever even crossed paths, given the very different nature of our career paths and hobbies and entire lives.

Of course it hurt my feelings when he’d say something like that and it feels weirder and weirder to be here in his restaurant doing the thing I never would’ve done four years ago, eating at a fancy restaurant like I even remotely belong there,

But at this point I’m overthinking and Kendra is quietly trying to get my attention. “Hey. Hey. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I’m just tired.” I reach for my glass of water. “And a bit hungover.”

She laughs. “Just a bit? That’s impressive.”

I frown at her. “I have a great tolerance.”

“Oh, you do. I think you wanted to get that drunk on purpose last night. Lots of stress from the move and the drive, huh? Functioning alcoholism?”

“No.” I had definitely drank more than usual but that was just the combination of seeing Carmen and the sixteen hour long drive and my general disgust for how I’d left my hometown. Maybe a teensy sprinkle of self-loathing mixed in. “I just wanted to have enough in my system to sleep through God knows how many calls from my ex.”

“You know what’s hilarious is I almost forgot he existed!” Kendra is on her third glass of wine and showing literally no signs of being buzzed. Then again, she’s over six feet tall and built like a corn-fed dairy farmer, so I guess it isn’t that strange. “I had just managed to scrub that little bottom-feeding invertebrate out of my head for the time being, so I’m glad he’s making his way back into the conversation.”

“I like how you feel stronger about this breakup than I do.”

“I don’t feel stronger than you do, I just have the guts and the articulation skills to say it.” At this point, although I can tell from how she raises one finger that she wants to go on, Kendra is forced to take a pause because Richard is coming back by our table with whatever special dessert they were selling tonight.

Even though I’m normally not the type to spring for dessert, in this case I’m glad we did–it’s beautifully plated (I’m stealing phrases from Carmen shamelessly at this point so I might as well fully embrace my new reality) and once I’ve had a taste I can safely say it is fully worth the cost.

Thankfully, Kendra does not stick to her guns about trying to keep me here after closing, because once we’ve lingered over dessert long enough, Richard comes over so I can pay and Kendra doesn’t say a word about ordering anything more.

At least, it didn’t seem like she would.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “Could we get–each–one of the signature drinks?”

“Absolutely. One for the road. You and I are very alike.” Richard smiles what I think is an indulging smile, but Kendra is brazenly unbothered by how long we’ve been here and grins back at him. “Which one were you thinking?”

“Oh, well, you tell me–you’ve been here a lot longer than we have, so what’s your personal favorite?”

She could work in one of these restaurants, herself. She’s always been personable, but tonight has certainly been a new experience with how comfortable she truly is given that we’ve never been to a place like this together before, least of all after a very long and tiring roadtrip.

And a long night out. Which extended into a brutal morning of moving a lot of heavy boxes and furniture.

Richard walks off with an assurance that our drinks will be out shortly, and I put my card away, pleased by the prices for the quantity and quality of food we’d received.

“You know, I really didn’t want to drink anymore,” I say.

“Yeah, but signature drinks! They’re always so fun. I love trying to think about what inspired the recipe. I wish I was a bartender.” Kendra taps her chin, scrutinizing the artwork on the wall across from us. “I think I would’ve been a really good bartender. I have good conversational skills and I really love alcohol. And the process of making alcohol. Man, why didn’t I ever become a bartender?”

I roll my eyes. “Maybe because you’re a morning person?”

It had come in handy on the road trip, since we’d left around 3:45 am (at her behest, no less) and I had adamantly refused to drive until after at least 9am.

Kendra deflates. “Oh, yeah. Well, I could do brunches.”

A little laugh escapes me. “I think that’s a very different type of bartending.

“Yeah, you’re right. Forget it, it wouldn’t even be that fun.”

I realize, then, that she only followed this line of questioning to cheer me up, and it puts a warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach. She’s a good friend.

With that in mind, it’s much easier to down the signature drink, and to indulge Kendra on her speculation about the flavors and the “subtle hints” of x or y which I’d normally hardly give a second thought to. In fact, when we get up to leave, I’m in a better mood than I have for the last two weeks. Maybe more.

We say our goodbyes to Richard and thank him for his fantastic service (when I’m standing he’s still extremely tall, even taller than Kendra) and he’s perfectly lovely showing us out and thanking us for coming. Saying we’re welcome any time. Although I find that very difficult to believe based on the bizarre and uncomfortable relationship between me and Carmen.

And we get probably five feet down the sidewalk before I hear someone calling after us. “Wait a moment!”

Kendra stiffens up like a board. “Oh gosh, I think I see the Uber going down to the corner, I’ll be right back.”

I take back everything nice I said about how she conducted herself inside, because she walks off giggling like a complete clown, stiff-legged and awkward and making herself way too obvious.

I turn around even though I already know from the voice who it is. “Oh, hey.” I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t show your face tonight.

Carmen is fidgety in the way he always used to be when he was working. I guess it makes sense that wouldn’t change. Oh, I should be flattered he somehow pried himself out of the kitchen long enough to say something to me. “What did you think? Uh–was everything good?”

I stare at him. “Yeah, it was great. Um–thanks for the reservation.”

“Oh, no. It was nothing. I’m glad–I’m glad you came.”

Oh, God. Kill me now. The awkwardness.

“Well,” I say. “I should get going. Kendra just–my friend–just went to go grab the Uber.”

“Really? Don’t you live like five minutes from here?”

Fuck me! “I think she was just making up an excuse to let us talk, but I still don’t want to leave her standing on the corner.”

He laughs and it… winds me. Puts me out of my body, so I’m looking down at us talking, floating, out of body existential, just watching it happen. I think it’s been so long since I heard his unexpected laugh like that and I suddenly remember that I used to tell him jokes all the time, especially when he’d just gotten off work, that I’d save images or videos to show him when he first got back, all with the express intent of teasing out that laugh.

Oh, God. I stopped being funny just because I missed the way he laughed.

“Are you okay?” He has noticed how long I’ve been silently staring at him. I clear my throat and look away, woken from the reverie. Jarred.

“Oh, yeah. Just having deja vu. Anyway, I’ll–I should get going.”

“Can I come over?”

The bluntness sends me, reeling. For a second I think I’m out of my body again, but no. Just very surprised. “Carmen, I’m–”

He puts up his hands. Like he’s showing me he’s unarmed (except I think he has all kinds of weapons tucked away in his words). “Just to talk. I–I’m sorry we left things the way we did. Earlier. It was good to talk. I’d like to talk.”

Will I keep on wondering if I say no? Will I see him on the street corners and have to avert my eyes? Is there some way that we can have this conversation and then just kind of grow apart, only present in each other’s lives by proximity and nothing more?

Fuck if I know. Why the fuck not? Why the fuck not. “You know, knock yourself out. I have shit all to do anyway.”

I start to walk before my brain really issues the command–I think my legs want to carry me out of this conversation since it seems unlikely that the sidewalk will open up to swallow me.

“I’ll be a few hours,” he calls, after me, and I wave my hand vaguely over my shoulder.

So that means I have a few hours to figure out how to apologize to Kendra and kick her out, or to somehow stash her somewhere in my apartment and hope she doesn’t pop out in the middle of conversation? What the fuck am I supposed to do?

When I come up to her, though, she’s on an actual phone call. From the high tone of voice and the excessive giggling, I would have to say it’s the lady friend from last night.

“Hey,” I say.

“Oh, shoot. Yeah, I gotta go, but I’ll see you then.” Kendra hangs up and whirls around to look at me with the excitement of a feral animal. “Guess. What.”

“You got a second date?” Could the stars be aligning?

“I asked for one because I was inspired by Carmen’s bravery, so yeah. You’ll have to make do without me for a few hours tonight and you can consider this my revenge for making me move that fucking bookshelf in the heat.”

I flush even though she literally volunteered to help me move it. “That actually works out fine for me.”

She laughs a long, theatrical, derisive laugh. “Oh, I imagine so, since he’s coming over, isn’t he?”

Fuck me! She’s a fucking telepath! “Unfortunately.”

“I expect full tea service. Sugar. Cream. Jam and crumpets. All the fixings.”

What the fuck does that even mean? “Are you possessed by the ghost of a Victorian woman right now?”

“You know what I mean.” Kendra wags her finger at me, and then starts to walk, leaving me to follow behind. “Now come on, I have to go change into something way hotter than this. And you can help.”

“I am your best wingwoman,” I say.

“Exactly. So chin up. This should only take an hour. Or so.”

Oh, god. And if I know anything about Kendra, it’s going to involve at least one full Taylor Swift album.

I glance back at the restaurant right before we turn the corner. It’s still there, people meandering on their way out, and Carmen has obviously gone back inside.

What more could he have to say to me?

--

Thanks for all the love! The masterlist will be here: masterlist

[marcusoseman99]

Songs of the isle pt 44

Apollo: Bob.

Vick: *trying not to laugh* Hmm really?

Apollo: Of course not jackass.

Vick: *sigh* How about a less serious question then?

Apollo: Go for it dude.

Vick: *laughs* Who taught you to tie laces so well?

*Apollo doesn’t respond continuing forward*

Vick: You don’t need to answer.

Apollo: No I will

*They walk in silence for a few more seconds*

Apollo: Euippe she was my villages crazy lady she taught me a lot.

Vick: Like what?

Apollo: How to fight, hunt, cook, question things and help.

Vick: She sounds nice.

Apollo: Not at all she was a hard ass and would woop my ass if I try to do anything stupid...... more than my family did.

Vick: Sounds rough.

Apollo: What no I had everything I needed.

Vick: Where is she now?

Apollo: I don’t know.

Vick: but-

Apollo: that enough for now

*The scene cuts to Herms sitting at his desk with the chest that Apollo retrieved sitting on his desk he is writing on some paper till the doors swing open.

A woman in a long dark red dress with a slit down the side showing her leg and a black Leather Jacket with outlines of orange walks slowly toward him*

Woman: Hello, hello, hello.

Herms: *sigh* Please knock next time Cassandra.    

Cassandra: And what’s the fun in that, Messenger.

Herms: Do you have my payment?

Cassandra: Of course you know that i am good for it.

Hermes: Sure.

Cassandra: Gods you are just as dramatic as your brother.

*Cassandra walks up to Hermes desk and drags her dark red nails along the edge of his desk till she is standing over his right shoulder.

She sits on his desk before throwing something wrapped in cloth to Herms and catches after it hits his chest*

Cassandra: That’s it.

Herms: Seem to be enough take your goods now.

*Cassandra doesn’t moved but looks Herms up and down he stands up to look her in the eyes before she slowly gets up and grabs the chest before leaving*

*the Scene follows Cassandra as she walks out of herms office and disappears into thin air, the scene comes back with Cassandra throwing the chest onto the ground in a poorly lit room.

The only thing in sight is a few book cases and a single leather black chair both in very odd places the floor she put the chest on is wooden plates that have been cleaned and sanded but are pure black.

She sits cross legged revelling that she has changed into grey sweatpants and a baggy white t-shirt she drags the chest over to her knees and gentle cresses the metal square that covers the chests outer layer*

Cassandra: Finally fucking finally something that can really make a difference.

*Cassandra opens the box quickly while her eyes are closed before slowly opening them*

Cassandra: what the- THERES NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING THAT SHIT HEAD THAT-

*Cassandras back snaps back till the top of her head is touching the ground while her arms shake uncontrollable her legs haven’t moved an inch, her eyes go white as her mouth opens unnaturally wide.

Her ribs start coming in and out of her skin as though her skin was the waves of water the bones of her arms break in pieces that pierce her skin.

While her veins in her arms are dragged out of her and began to dance to their own unheard song dragging Cassandra left to right repeatedly as they float in the air.

Her eyes slowly return letting her feel the pain as though it was wished to happen by an unknown entity watching her.

Cassandra screams as she feels and sees her body be played with by a sadistic unnatrul force but it is cut short as her throat starts to unravel showing her muscle beneath the skin while her jaw is slowly let go as her cheeks start to waste away. *

Cassandra: I CAN’T- I CAN’T DO THIS I- BUT I NEED TO SAVE THEM PLEASE I NEED TO SAVE THEM ALL, PLEASE

*Tears drop down Cassandras face unable to do anything else till all of her movement stops and she is let go laying on the ground with a blood pool forming under her*

Cassandra: Please let me live they need me.

*The blood coming out of her starts to slowly go back into her body as her body starts to snap back together violent in its efficiency till she is sitting cross legged again staring into the darkness that is all around her*

Cassandra: Everything feels odd why does my body feel like it is here in this room but doesn’t at the same time.

*Cassandra holds her hand out in front of her and starts to move it left to right*

Cassandra: Am I here?

*She continues until the skin starts to fall off and stay floating in the air*

Cassandra: Why doesn’t this hurt what did Herms give me this can’t be a way to the circle, can it?

*Cassandra stops moving and closes her fist then her skin comes back to her hand, she stares for a second before closing her eyes*

Cassandra: TAKE ME TO THE CIRCLE.

*Cassandra stands in the dark for a couple of seconds*

Cassadra: Now I just feel silly I can’t believe I can’t use this I need a way to get to the circle.

*Just then Cassandras hand rips itself apart and creates a blade out of her bones and muscle*

Cassandra: That could work.

Cassandra: Holy fuck this could be my way to actually get through to them show them all that I have the means to get to the circle and end this cycle.

*The scene cuts to Vick and Apollo returning back to Dion at his tent*

Dion: Good you are both here I would like to invite you both to my next party.

Apollo: What’s the occasion?

Dion: Demi’s birthday I assumed you would remember.

Apollo: Sorry I get hit in the head a lot.

Vick: Wait I am invited too?

Dion: My parties aren’t anything to gloss over if you want to see our world then this is the event to be at some kill to get in........ some have.

Vick: Damn.

Apollo: I don’t think I have a choice but Vick you don’t have too if you don’t want to be here.

Vick: Will there be alcohol?

[pixeldistractions]

“Hey! What’s the story, morning glory?”

Ingrid’s voice was entirely too energetic for eight in the morning, bubbling with the energy of a late-night party that never ended. Jordan had a sore neck and a sore back, and there was no comfortable way to sleep in the cab of this truck. Technically homeless now, he needed to find another option. It would have been much more comfortable to roll out his sleeping bag and sleep under the stars, but he had just too much pride to do that. In the suburbs, at least. He just needed to get out of here.

“What a surprise,” Ingrid continued. “Ian told me you were here yesterday, and this morning, too? You missed me?”

“I needed something to do,” he said. “I fixed your camper.”

“You look like you’ve been through the wringer. Was it hard?”

“The camper? Nah, not so far. You had a corroded battery terminal, among other things. It needs more work, but it’ll run for a while. It still stinks though.”

“Awesome, so now we can run away together.”

He let out a single chuckle. “You can pay me, I guess. I could use the money.”

They walked together over to the camper where he showed her what he did and how he did it. She would need to know how to replicate the repairs when the time came, but she wasn’t paying any attention to his instruction in the least.

She flashed him a grin and waggled her eyebrows. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in anything else? I’m a woman of many talents.”

He laughed. But, actually…

Her camper. That was what he needed. Surely he could clean it up and make it livable. Although he could absolutely rough it—he was a backcountry camper, after all—having four walls and a roof and a dry bed that he could stretch out on would be nice.

“Actually, maybe, sell me your camper? I know you only spent two hundred bucks on it. I’ll give you a thousand. You’ve only had it two weeks and never took it anywhere. You’re not attached. It’s broken, it stinks. It’ll break again soon, and you don’t know how to fix it.”

“Oh,” she whimpered. “That two hundred was a steal. How am I gonna do my van life channel without a camper? I was gonna be a traveling hippie artisan.”

“Ingrid, I’ve seen those van life channels, too. This junker doesn’t fit the aesthetic. This camper is more trailer trash than traveling hippie artisan.”

“But then you get to have all the fun.”

She looked gloomy for a minute, but then her face lit up with an idea.

“How about a deal? We’ll make the swap in California. You drive me out. You let me tag along and shoot some videos on the way there. It’ll be an epic road trip adventure. Then you can drop me off, and it’s yours. What’s that, like a week? Two weeks tops?”

“Hmm. Okay,” Jordan said. “Paperwork now, and it’s a deal.”

“Ho-ly shit!” Ingrid squealed. “You’re actually going to run away with me?”

“Well, it worries me when you say it like that.”

Ingrid bounced with excitement. “Hot damn, let’s go.”

“Okay, but I’m running away and you’re tagging along.”

“Don’t worry, baby! We can call it that if you want.”

They exchanged and signed the title paperwork, and now Jordan was the proud owner of this smelly piece of junk, and contract-bound to take this wild hippie artisan to California.

“When do we leave? Tonight? Tomorrow? I’m ready when you are!”

Jordan blew out a heavy sigh. “I’m not sure what I just got myself into. Soon. I’ll let you know. There’s something I need to do first.”

— from “my sweetheart #10: call it what you want” (1/9)

Next ->

[desktopcalendar]

Okay tbf it’s not technically christmas anymore but it was when i wrote the first bit so let’s just pretend :) also i am writing more businessman!joel but it’s taking my brain 5eva to think of it so please enjoy this <33

just because it’s christmas… BnBowner!joel and recentlysingle!reader who has already paid for a non-refundable trip for christmas. (apologies because i change from 3rd to 2nd person)

tw for cheating, a half second of nsfw(there will be more if i continue it) moments of angst, uncooperative suitcase, no use of y/n, not proofread

reader who just got broken up with who forgets they have a non-refundable trip booked in a cutesy cabin in a hallmark town, the “perfect place for couples” until they get an email confirming their arrival time and then all of a sudden the very real and very non-refundableness of the trip was brought to the forefront of their mind.

You aren’t quite sure if this is a good idea. But the last thing you were sure on ended up to be cheating on you for over a year, so maybe being unsure was a good thing.

The owner wasn’t lying when he said it was secluded, it was literally in the middle of nowhere. Perfect for a romantic getaway -hopefully also perfect for wallowing in your ruined relationship thanks to your piece of shit cheating ex-boyfriend.

You haul your suitcase up the snowy path towards the cabin, thankful that the cab was even able to make it this far, and for a moment you feel exactly like Amanda in the holiday and who knows? maybe you’ll meet an upsettingly handsome man. Maybe.

Probably not.

-

Joel watches from you from the porch for a little longer than he probably should before striding over to you, arm outstretched, ready to take your bags.

“Hey! i’m glad you found your way here, it’s not the easiest place to find.”

You look up from your uncooperative suitcase to lock eyes with perhaps the most attractive man you’ve ever seen (including Jude Law with glasses on) walking towards you and you’re so taken aback that you are definitely not prepared for your suitcase to start cooperating which in turn sends you flying into the snow.

Apart from it doesn’t, so you’re a little confused when you don’t hit the cold ground but are caught by a pair of warm, strong arms.

“Easy there, I’m happy you’re here too but you could’ve bought me a drink first.” Joel jokes as he sets you back on your feet.

“omg i’m so sorry it’s this stupid suitcase that refuses to move when i want it to i mean it i’m really sorry this is so embarrassing and i..” You trail off when you realise that Joel is in fact laughing. “what?”

“Nothing darlin’ you’re just the first person to apologise to me for the actions of an inanimate object, s’funny is all.” Joel holds out his hand for you to shake “incase you hadn’t figured it out, I’m Joel.”

You bashfully take it, pretending that hearing him call you ‘darlin’ hadn’t affected you in any way shape or form “Nice to meet Joel, you have a beautiful cabin, it really is magical.”

Joel’s hand is large, and warm, and a small part of you wants to feel more of his warmth. Maybe more than a small part.

He easily takes your bags the rest of the way, making light conversation with you, even though you’re still taking in him, responding with short answers and ‘hmms’.

He’s a rugged man, you think to yourself, he’s big all over, large frame, large hands. Your eyes dart towards his crotch for a moment wondering if he’s also large there. Something inside you tells you he is.

“Well here we are doll, let me know if you need anything” Joel puts your bags down just inside the door, the cabin really is the perfect place for a romantic getaway, you feel a pang with the knowledge that you specifically picked this place to spend time with your boyfriend. All you wanted to do now was forget about him, but apparently Joel could sense the singleness off you.

“Oh! where’s this boyfriend of yours, you did book for two, right?”

You freeze as he says ‘boyfriend’ debating whether it would be better to make up some elaborate lie or tell the miserable truth.

“We uh, we actually broke up a few days ago… turns out he’s not the kind of person i wanna go to a cabin with.” you eventually mumble out, followed by an unhappy laugh - mainly because you feel like you’ll cry otherwise.

“Aw shit darl, I’m sorry, and i know i’ve only known you all of five minutes but it’s definitely his loss.” A warm hand gently clasps onto your shoulder as Joel looks towards you with kind eyes.

You allow yourself to take the moment of sympathy from this kind stranger, before composing yourself.

“Thanks, Joel. I guess the only thing i need is directions to the nearest place that sells alcohol.”

“Of course doll,”

-

[razieltwelve]

Recruitment (Final Rose x Bleach)

Gin needed to get the hell out Hueco Mundo right now. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to do that since he’d never imagined that someone would actually be able to just... eat Aizen.

He shuddered.

That... that had not been part of his plans.

And Aizen was definitely dead. He’d spent enough time around the bastard to know when he was faking. Whatever that Hollow had done, she’d somehow seen through Aizen’s illusions and ripped him to pieces.

Gin had no intention of fighting someone who could do that.

What was even more terrifying was that the Hollow’s spiritual pressure had massively increased after eating Aizen. It went beyond what could be expected from eating another tremendously powerful soul. It suggested that the Hollow had another ability, one that allowed it to absorb and add to its own power.

That... that thing could probably level Soul Society on its own now.

A disturbing rumour he’d once heard drifted back into his mind. He’d killed a Hollow once. It had been so terrified that it had fled into the World of the Living. It had claimed that it wanted to escape a Hollow that could steal the powers of others. He’d dismissed the idea at the time. An ability like that was too powerful for anyone to have missed.

But what if the Hollow with that ability had hidden. What if it had concealed its true nature until it had eaten enough to be certain that it could defend itself?

He shuddered. If that Hollow was the thing that had eaten Aizen, then there was a possibility that it could use something similar to Kyoka Suigetsu. Combined with who knew how many other powers it had and its own monstrously huge spiritual power...

Yeah.

He was getting out of here.

So far, he’d survived by hiding and hoping to find a way back. He hadn’t had much luck so far, but there was movement from the Hollows. Vasto Lordes and Adjuchas had been summoned to Las Noches. For what purpose he couldn’t say, but he’d noticed that the Hollows were now much better trained and far better organised.

They moved like an army.

And if there was an army, there had to be a general.

He was broken out of his musings when there was a flash of movement from the corner of his eye. He turned to run - anything that could sense him when he was concealing himself was a danger - only to be locked in place by helixes of light around his ankles, wrists, and torso.

Bakudo? But there had been no incantation, and he didn’t recognise it either.

“I made it myself because I was curious to to know how Kido worked.”

Gin’s gut clenched. It was that Hollow.

“I’d say sorry about your friend,” the Hollow said, shrugging. “Except I don’t really think he was your friend, given how quickly you abandoned him. I mean the other guy tried, but he was too weak to do anything. He’s dead too, by the way.”

“Is that so?” Gin watched carefully as the Hollow moved to stand in front of him. He could move his head, but not much, and his spiritual energy was being suppressed. This bakudo, whatever it was, was quite impressive. “Am I next then?”

“Hmm...” the Hollow smiled. “I could eat you, but I’d rather not.”

Gin’s brows furrowed. “Is that so?”

“I might have snuck into Soul Society a few times.” Before his eyes, the Hollows spiritual pressure changed from the most terrifying thing he’d ever been in the presence of to a human’s, a Soul Reapers, and then a Quincy’s. “I can be pretty sneaky... and no, that wasn’t Aizen’s power.”

“Ah.” Gin allowed himself to relax a bit. In situations like this, stressing out was pointless. Clearly, this Hollow wanted something from him and was willing to negotiate for it, considering she hadn’t simply ripped him to pieces and eaten him. “So... what can I do for you?”

“I’m sure you’re looking for a way home, Gin.” The Hollow tilted her head to the side. “A man doesn’t do all the things you’ve done for as long as you’ve done without a good reason.” His eyes widened, and the Hollow tapped her head. “Yes, it’s what you’re thinking.”

Shit. The Hollow hadn’t just eaten Aizen’s soul. It somehow had complete access to his memories... or she was bluffing.

“Why are you telling me any of this?” he asked.

“Because, Gin, I need someone in Soul Society. And, yes, I know you’re a fugitive, but we both know there’s plenty of room for fugitives in Soul Society, especially one as adept at covert operations as you. Why an enterprising fellow could really make his mark on the outer districts of Rukongai if he had the right backing.”

Gin’s lips twitched. “You want to send me back to Soul Society to set up an organisation in the outer districts?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“You’re smart, Gin. You know why.”

He did. Influence. Access. Control. “Yeah, I do. What do I get out of it?”

“Well, you get to go home for one. You’re strong, Gin, and clever. If you were a Hollow, you’d do very well here. But you’re not a Hollow, and I don’t think you like it here. I think you’d much rather be in Soul Society.” She paused and then offered a carrot he couldn’t refuse. “I already have people in Division 10. They’re trustworthy, and they can get messages to the lieutenant there.”

Gin’s mouth went dry.

“I’m not joking,” the Hollow said before rattling off a list of names. “They work for me.”

“Why would they work for you?”

“Because they’ve lost people... people who’ve become Hollows... Hollows that I now command and have awakened, so they’re no longer ravenous beasts. They are people... and I can facilitate letters and even the occasional visit. Why wouldn’t they work for me?”

“And you’d send me back and trust me to start up an organisation for you?”

“Trust is an interesting word. However, I trust your intelligence and cunning. You have to realise that even if I send you back, if you betray me, you aren’t safe. You will die, and you will die horribly. But if you work with me? You must have noticed the changes in Hueco Mundo. You must realise that it’s better to ride the wave to shore than to be smashed  by it. I know you’ve wanted to explore the Human World. I can arrange that too. I expect your best, Gin. In exchange, I’ll give you my best too.”

Gin couldn’t believe he was considering it, but...

“Oh, and a present.” The Hollow gestured, and a familiar blonde appeared.

“Gin!”

“Rangiku!”

Gin tried to break his bonds, to flare his spiritual pressure, to do something - anything - to get free. But the Hollow just watched the interplay between him and Rangiku. She knew. She actually fucking knew. There was no doubting it now. She truly did have access to Aizen’s memories. She wasn’t bluffing.

The bakudo dissolved, and Gin immediately put himself in front of Rangiku.

The Hollow held up her hands. “Relax, I didn’t bring her here. I’m not entirely sure how she managed it - although I do have my suspicions - but she showed up in Hueco Mundo here earlier. I imagine she came looking for you.”

Gin’s jaw clenched. That was so like Rangiku, to be more worried about him than herself.

“She was going to get eaten by a bunch of Hollows - not ones under my control, I assure you, but the ravenous, wandering kind - so I grabbed her and kept her hidden away until just now.”

“Gin...” Rangiku whispered. “Who is she? What’s going on? Where’s... where’s Aizen?”

“Dead,” Gin replied quietly. “He’s dead and so is Tousen.” He nodded at the Hollow. “She ate them.”

“We’re so dead, aren’t we?”

“Not yet,” Gin said. “That deal, is it still on the table?”

“Sure. Rangiku here is a way of proving my sincerity. I could keep her as a hostage. Hell, I could do what Aizen did to those old captains and lieutenants that had to flee Soul Society. But I won’t because I’m not a complete jerk and because I want you to understand what the people who work with me all walk away winners and the ones that don’t, well, they don’t walk away at all.”

“So if I agree to the deal...”

“I’ll be giving you this handy manual to read.” The Hollow pulled out a folder. “Which contains what your objectives will be. I will also be sending you and Rangiku here back to Soul Society. Of course, she will have to keep her mouth shut about everything she saw or heard here. I don’t actually want Soul Society to know that Aizen is dead yet. They’re all in a tizzy, which should give you plenty of time to get set up.”

“All right.” Gin nodded. “It’s a deal.” He felt a strange chill in the breeze. “You just did something, didn’t you?”

“I did... and I let you notice on purpose. Just don’t betray me, and you’ll be fine.” The Hollow gestured, and a portal appeared. “That will take you back to Soul Society. You’ll recognise the place.”

“Wait. What’s your name?”

“Diana,” the Hollow replied. “Now, get going. You’ve got work to do.”

They stepped through the portal and found themselves back where they had first met. Shit. Diana was telling him that she had a way of seeing into his memories without eating him. That was seriously scary... and strangely comforting. If he was going to be working for someone, it might as well be the strongest person, especially since she seemed reasonable enough.

Rangiku grabbed his arm and glared into his eyes. “Gin, we need to talk.”

“Yeah... yeah, I guess we do.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Diana acquires a very useful minion... and extends her reach. Really, why not? If the disenfranchised masses can’t rely on their government, why not turn to a new and better government? Positions are open, Diana is hiring, and she is well on the way to getting her pony although she’s about to be disappointed (or not) when Nel ‘evolves’. Honestly, what first drew Diana’s attention was the whole drooling to heal people thing. She thinks that hilarious.

[justicerikai]

Charisma House - Superhuman Sharehouse Story “Charisma” - #31 No-win fight

Please read alongside listening to the drama track on Youtube.

Iori: What are you doing?

Ohse: !

Iori: Hmm? What’s up with your shirt?

Ohse: I got paint on it. So I’m washing it

Iori: Paint? Oh, you really did. I’ll go ahead and wash it for you. Please give it to me.

Ohse: No, it’s fine

Iori: Hah?

Ohse: I’ll wash it myself

Iori: Please hand it over.

Ohse: It’s fine

Iori: But I’m a slave.

Ohse: But I’m a sore loser.

Iori: I’m a slave.

Ohse: I’m a sore loser.

Iori: I’m a SLAVE.

Ohse: I’m a sore loser.

(Iori and Ohse fighting)

Iori: Gah…Ohse-san…please let go…!

Ohse: Right back at you…!

Iori: I’ll wash it for you…!

Ohse: No thank you…!

Iori: Please leave it to me… Let go– Uwaah!

Iori: Let go…!

Ohse: ….

Iori: Let go…!!!

Ohse: ….

Iori: Ohse-san!

Ohse: ….

Iori: I’ll wash it so-…!!!

Fumiya: What are you doing?

Iori: Fumiya-san!

Fumiya: What is all this? Why are you dragging Ohse like that? And why is Ohse half naked?

Iori: You came at the right moment, just listen to this now~

Ohse: Please listen

Iori: And that’s how things ended up. Fumiya-san, what do you think of this?

Iori: Ohse-san’s being obnoxious isn’t he

Ohse: Sorry, but I absolutely cannot let someone else wash it for me.

Iori: I said I’m a slave.

Ohse: And I’m a sore loser.

Iori: I’m a slave.

Ohse: I’m a sore loser.

Iori: You don’t understand how much of a human scum I am. This is what I need to do or else I’d be completely useless- a husk of a man.

Ohse: It’s enviable that you’re even human. I am just trash.

Iori: Trash can be recycled. I’m nothing. I can’t create anything.

Ohse: A lowly insect.

Iori: Nonexistinant.

Ohse: Rotten piece of flesh.

Iori: Empty like a container- Tupperware.

Ohse: More inferior than a mangy dog.

Iori: If anything I’d love to be a dog

Ohse: Leftovers

Ohse: Impure existence

Ohse: Failure

Ohse: Needs to be erased immediately

Iori: Aaagh, geez! So stubborn!

Iori: Fumiya-san, what should we do about this?

Fumiya: How about bringing it to the cleaners?

Iori & Ohse: …Eh?

Fumiya: Bringing it there means none of you have to wash it, right? And your shirt will be clean. Killing two birds with one stone, no

Iori: Haaaaaah~

Fumiya: Eh?

Iori: Are you even aware that dry cleaning is out of the question, is a slave’s dignity nothing to you?

Fumiya: A slave’s dignity…

Ohse: Paying people to wash my clothes, what a joke from heaven’s above. Don’t underestimate a trash’s pride.

Fumiya: A trash’s pride…

Iori: Do you get it now, Fumiya-san?

Ohse: Do you?

Iori: He doesn’t

Ohse: That’s right.

Iori & Ohse: Then, will you please keep your mouth shut?

Fumiya: …….Yes

Iori: Come on, I’ll wash it-

Ohse: I’ll do it myself-

Iori: You’ll tear it up you know?

Ohse: That’s fine since it belongs to a piece of shit anyway

Iori: Geez~ piss off already!

Rikai: Hmm… So, ultimately they ended up washing it together.

(Iori and Ohse fighting in the kitchen)

Iori: I’m the one that cooks in this house!

Ohse: I’m fine

Rikai: Hmmm….

Iori: Well it’s done, here Ohse-san you go ahead and eat first.

Ohse: No, you can eat first

Iori: No, no-

Ohse: No, no-

Iori: You eat first, come on

(Iori trying to feed Ohse)

Iori: Yes you ate it! It’s in your mouth! Yaaay

Ohse: I haven’t chewed yet. Yaaay

Iori: Chew!

Ohse: Don’t wanna

Iori: Swallow it already!

Ohse: No way. Bweh

(Ohse spat it out)

Iori: What the!? Why did you spit it out!

(Iori rushing to clean it up)

Ohse: I’ll wipe it myself

Iori: I’LL wipe it

Ohse: It’s my own mess

Iori: No it’s MY fault here

Rikai: Hmm… I wonder if this means they’re on bad terms, or perhaps on good terms. Fumiya-san, which one do you think it is?

Fumiya: I don’t care. It’s annoying.

Rikai: Totally~

Iori: I’m a slave!

Ohse: I’m a slab of meat.

Iori: Empty as a container. Tupperware

(Iori and Ohse continue to fight)

[lavender-annd-lilac]

You scurry around the kitchen, whipping yourself up a hot chocolate

A HOT CHOCOLATE U SAY?? 👂👂👂

So like, if Milo is “the best”, why isn’t she making herself a cup of that instead of hot chocolate, huh?? 🤨🤨🤨

The past few weeks have been… Interesting, to say the least, from having the cutest little men accompany you to a giant monstrous man devouring you

Lmao reader really goes with the flow 😂 like, some people are picky I guess but she’s like I’m cool with anything from gnomes to Bigfoot!!

slowly make your way to your lounge room, prepared to watch one of your favourite Christmas movies

Your mind is too focused on not spilling your drink that you don’t notice the older man sitting in your chair

Reader has negative zero observation powers she’s literally this doggo

Ari’s hand lifts to his thick greying beard, wondering if you will ever look up

She literally walks through him and that’s when he realizes… he’s a g-g-ghost!! 👻👻👻 and that’s why she can’t see him 🙀🙀🙀

Oh wait this isn’t a Halloween story? ☹️😾🎃

“I never expected your favourite Christmas movie to be How The Grinch Stole Christmas”

Ok that was going to be my third guess, after Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Mean Girls

Your grip is tightly wrapped around your cup, ensuring the liquid doesn’t spill.

Reader’s secret superpower… She could be like the best waitress!!

Your brows furrow as the pieces begin to fit together, the outfit, the greying beard, the red hat with a white pom pom on top

Wait… is it Waldo from “Where’s Waldo”?? (Or “Wally” for some reason in the UK)

“You’re Santa?”

Me, a skeptic: ok if u are the REAL Santa, what did I write on my Christmas list when I was 8 years old and what colour crayon did I write it in 🤨🤨🤨

“Mmhm, and you’re my little hoe… hoe… hoe.” His joyous chuckle fills the room at his pun,

Dude u literally have the whole year every year to come up with better puns and this is all u got?? Hire a speechwriter or something lol

Slowly he moves to stand, but a loud humph escapes him when you land roughly onto his lap. 

But is the drink ok??? Did it spill?? 😬😬😬

The smell of Christmas fills your nose, warming your insides.

Ngl, this sounds like it could be an allergic reaction lol

“Now, what’s a little girl like you want for Christmas? I mean… It shouldn’t be a lot seeing as you’ve had my elves and even the big bad Grinch.” Ari’s grip tightens on you.

Lol I’d be like “I’d like a FUCKING RESTRAINING ORDER u peeping Tom😠. Or maybe a PS5? 🥺”

“I can explain… I… They…” Your brows furrow as you begin to pout, not knowing what to say. 

Lol she’s like what?? I wasn’t even awake for half that shit

“Don’t worry about it, darling. Now, what do you want for Christmas?”

Haha this is like when the server comes back to your table too early and asks what u want to order and ur like “ummm, can u give me more time pls idk yet😭”

“hmm? I am Santa. I can get you anything your heart desires. All you have to do is tell me.” 

Me: can we get another season of Rome??

Santa: …wait, u mean that HBO show that was cancelled after 2 seasons bc of budget issues in the mid 2000’s???

Me: duh 🙄what, do u like, not have TV in the North Pole???

“I… I want to be loved… and not just for one night but for eternity.” Both you and Ari can feel your heart speed up, how your breath hitches after you’ve spoken of what you truly desire. “B–But… If that’s too hard, I would like a pet. Nothing too big, maybe just something small.” 

Lmaooo, she’s like “ya could I get like an eternal soulmate?? Or if you’re all out of those guess I’ll take um… a small pet? Like a hampster or something?”

(Meanwhile, little elf Ransom getting scooped up out of nowhere to be gift wrapped like “hey, what the HECK? UNHAND ME! 😡😡😡”)

“I think I can do both, but only for you.” He spins you around in his lap, causing you to face him. “But, for the first one. You do have to give yourself over to me. It’s the only way it’ll work.”

Me: I don’t do handshake deals. Can we get this in writing? And I want my lawyer present with at least one witness or notary. AND I want all the original cast in their roles for season 3 of Rome. AND I want an executive producers credit.

“I’ll do anything!” Tears are brought to your eyes as you think of finally getting your wish. No longer will you be alone or unwanted.

Girl, u are literally never alone lol u have no privacy 🤣🤣🤣

“Anything?” You nod again. Ari smirks at how eager you are. “Will you keep Santa warm even after I’m done breeding you?”

Quickly standing, Ari continues to fuck into you as he lies you down on the couch.

Can we get a status update on the drink? Is it like on the table now or did it spill?🫣🫣🫣

“You’re going to carry my children! Walking around the North Pole, swollen and glowing!” 

Lmao why does this low key sound like a curse tho hahaha 🤣

It’s very god punishing Cain for killing his brother by saying, "Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground…. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth" 😂😂😂

“Everyone!” thrust “will!” thrust “know!” thrust “your!” thrust “MINE!!”

What do u mean “everyone”? Who the fuck else lives in the North Pole??? 🤨

and snapping his fingers, causing himself to look as good as new before he looks around the room

Ok this is some Sabrina the Teenage Witch shit. Like I would love to be able to get a wardrobe refresh at the snap of my fingers

With a wave of his hand, everything in your house disappears.

Wait WHAT?? Why did he take all her stuff? It’s not like this is an episode of what not to wear when they make u dump all your old fugly clothes 😭😭😭 what if she had like, sentimental items in there?

Me, 2 min later: ooh, it disappeared bc she was being transported haha

he lays you down onto his soft, red and green silk sheets and glances down at you with a soft smile.

Why do u need ur home to be xmas themed. No civilians are even allowed there. Why must u make it so tacky all year round??? 😒😒😒

Can’t u just do like some nice neutrals??

“Welcome home, Mrs Claus.”

Ok so they are like married now?? Hahah sucker, he didn’t even get her to sign a prenup. 😏😏😏

Girl, divorce and take him for all he’s worth!!!🤑 (U can still hook up or whatever when u drop off the kids to stay w him)

𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂… 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏

🎄christmas masterlist🎄

warning - smut, oral sex, sex, stalker behaviour, breeding kink, maybe a bad pun?, human reader, santa male, reader may be a bit of a whore, but I can't blame her, slight angst, slight fluff, maybe a bit of kidnapping? (but, like... what's really considered kidnapping? especially if it's by ari)

18+ only please, christmas present for you all but mostly for @royalsweetteaa, the gif and header aren't mine. merry christmas!🎅🏻

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

You scurry around the kitchen, whipping yourself up a hot chocolate. The past few weeks have been… Interesting, to say the least, from having the cutest little men accompany you to a giant monstrous man devouring you. Your mind was fuzzy, wondering if you’ll ever see them again. Grabbing your drink, you slowly make your way to your lounge room, prepared to watch one of your favourite Christmas movies. 

Your mind is too focused on not spilling your drink that you don’t notice the older man sitting in your chair. His legs spread, thighs and bulge straining against his red pants. Darkened blue eyes glare at your small form as you walk in his direction. Ari’s hand lifts to his thick greying beard, wondering if you will ever look up. Not that he will complain if you sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas. “I never expected your favourite Christmas movie to be How The Grinch Stole Christmas” A charming grin makes its way onto Ari’s face when he watches you jump slightly. Your head snaps up, and you stare at him with wide eyes. Your grip is tightly wrapped around your cup, ensuring the liquid doesn’t spill.

Your eyes take in his tight red and white outfit, subconsciously licking your lips as your eyes trail down his body, loving how it fits his form perfectly. Your brows furrow as the pieces begin to fit together, the outfit, the greying beard, the red hat with a white pom pom on top. Your eyes slowly move back up his body before connecting with his blue ones. “You’re Santa?” You slowly place your drink down, becoming curious about the man you swear you’ve seen before.

Ari chuckles, leaning back into the chair. “Mmhm, and you’re my little hoe… hoe… hoe.” His joyous chuckle fills the room at his pun, and you giggle as well, feeling your heart warm at the sound of his laugh. A small smile takes place on Ari’s face as the laughter dies down, and his large veiny hand pats his thigh. “Come sit and tell Santa what you want for Christmas.” Ari watches you hesitate, worrying your lip as you think. “Unless you want to be named Naughty.” Slowly he moves to stand, but a loud humph escapes him when you land roughly onto his lap. 

You look up at Ari, eyes slightly fluttering as his warmth seeps into you. A calming feeling washes over you as you take in his scent. The smell of Christmas fills your nose, warming your insides. “Now, what’s a little girl like you want for Christmas? I mean… It shouldn’t be a lot seeing as you’ve had my elves and even the big bad Grinch.” Ari’s grip tightens on you.

Your cheeks turn rosy pink, and you stare at him with wide eyes, chewing on your bottom lip as you try to think of an explanation. “I can explain… I… They…” Your brows furrow as you begin to pout, not knowing what to say. 

Ari grins as he watches you struggle, pulling your small body closer to his larger form. “Don’t worry about it, darling. Now, what do you want for Christmas?” Ari rests his chin on your shoulder, his eyes slowly closing as he takes in your sweet scent, humming as he waits for a response. Ari can feel you begin to squirm against his throbbing member, holding back his groan as you continue. His thumb rubs the exposed skin on your hip, “hmm? I am Santa. I can get you anything your heart desires. All you have to do is tell me.” 

You relax into his body, feeling anxious about what you really want. “I… I want to be loved… and not just for one night but for eternity.” Both you and Ari can feel your heart speed up, how your breath hitches after you’ve spoken of what you truly desire. “B–But… If that’s too hard, I would like a pet. Nothing too big, maybe just something small.” 

Ari’s breath against your neck sends shivers down your body, “I think I can do both, but only for you.” He spins you around in his lap, causing you to face him. “But, for the first one. You do have to give yourself over to me. It’s the only way it’ll work.” Ari stares at you with his big blue eyes, his gaze flickering down to your plump lips as a soft smile spreads across your face, your head nodding rapidly. 

“I’ll do anything!” Tears are brought to your eyes as you think of finally getting your wish. No longer will you be alone or unwanted. You give Ari a bright smile when he grins at you, his hand coming up and resting on your cheek while his thumb strokes it. Subconsciously grinding down onto the large bulge in his pants, feeling the pool of slick building between your legs.

“Anything?” You nod again. Ari smirks at how eager you are. “Will you keep Santa warm even after I’m done breeding you?” The nod you give sends shocks of pleasure straight to his thickening cock, the member nearly breaking through the material as he hardens. Ari lifts you slightly, pulling his cock free before settling you back onto his lap. A grunt leaves him when your soaked core touches him, “Aren’t you a naughty girl, wearing nothing underneath this whole time while sitting on a stranger’s lap? You were expecting this, weren’t you?” The shy look you give him answers his questions.

Biting your lip, you slowly begin to rub yourself against him. Soaking Ari’s giant cock, soft moans escape you when his thick mushroom tip hits your swollen clit. “Please, Santa! I’ve been a good girl!” A scream falls from your lips when Ari thrusts himself deep inside, not giving you any time to adjust as he grips your hips and fucks you down onto his cock. Your head falls back, eyes rolling to the back, mouth hanging open. “F–Feels good! So good! Please!” 

Ari growls, his eyes fluttering as he feels your juices soak his pants. His hips thrust rapidly, hitting your sweet spot perfectly as his heavy sacks tighten. “Good fucking girl! You’re so fucking tight!” Quickly standing, Ari continues to fuck into you as he lies you down on the couch. His large form covers you as he pounds deep inside your tight little hole. The girth of his cock stretches you perfectly. “You feel so good, darling! You’ll forever be mine once I fill you up!” Ari buries his face into your neck, planting kisses and marks along your flesh. His grunts and your moans fill the room, and the feel of your walls fluttering around him causes Ari to bite down on your neck before he grunts into your ear. “You’re going to carry my children! Walking around the North Pole, swollen and glowing!” 

“Everyone!” thrust “will!” thrust “know!” thrust “your!” thrust “MINE!!” With a rawr, Ari’s hips stutter roughly into you, his balls tightening, and his chest heaves as he cums deep inside your cunt. Spurts of warm white cum shoot out of his swollen tip, overfilling your womb. He continues to thrust until your back arches, walls squeezing and milking his throbbing member as your orgasm hits hard, your sweet juices squirting out of you and soaking his uniform. Ari falls onto you, trying to catch his breath as you wrap your tiny arms around his muscular body. He pulls back and looks deep into your eyes with a dazed smile. “You’re my good girl, understand?” 

“Yes, I’m your good girl.” He slowly pulls out of you before moving down your exhausted body, opening your legs so that he can see his cum leak out. He groans, his thick fingers moving closer to your quivering hole and pushing it back inside. He leans forward and takes your swollen clit between his lips, beginning to suck. His fingers thrust and curl as he laps at your cute little button. “Santa! Oh! Fuck!” A slap fills the room, and your back arches as pain and pleasure shoot through your cunt and up your spine. 

“Bad girl! No swearing!” He growls into your cunt, burying his face deep into your sweet honey pot. “You taste so fucking sweet! I get why my elves and The Grinch are so fucking obsessed!” His tongue and fingers move fast against your sweet cunt, and the groans that leave his lips add extra vibrations to his movements, causing pornographic screams to escape you. When Ari curls his fingers into the correct spot, black spots cover your vision as your back arches, your eyes roll back, and your juices squirt out of you and directly into Ari’s mouth. He groans as he drinks your sweetness up, not missing a spot. 

Ari pulls back, sitting on his legs as he looks at you. His greying beard is covered in your juices, and his hat has fallen off, causing his long hair to stick to his sweaty forehead. His darkened eyes peer down at your blacked-out form, a smirk making its way onto his face as he glances down at your puffy red pussy. Standing, Ari fixes his uniform, tucking his cock back in and snapping his fingers, causing himself to look as good as new before he looks around the room. With a wave of his hand, everything in your house disappears. Ari leans down, picking you up bridal style before disappearing back to the North Pole. As you both appear in his bedroom, he lays you down onto his soft, red and green silk sheets and glances down at you with a soft smile. “I can’t wait for you to be full with my children.” Ari gently kisses your forehead, and his hand comes up and strokes your cheek. “Welcome home, Mrs Claus.”

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[ryukatters]

A/N: this came to me while I was wrapping gifts in my living room at 1 AM. Merry Christmas & happy holidays to all :)

Content/warnings: college/modern! AU, fluff, R2L (roommates to lovers LOL), very very short

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x gn! Reader

Minors are allowed to read and interact, but please do not follow me. My blog is 18+.

The gold glow from the prelit tree of your living room acts as your light source as you carefully crease the wrapping paper embellished with cute little snowmen. Finals had just ended, so you and your roommate were enjoying the first few days of break winding down from the stress of the semester before going back home to your families for the holidays.

You’ve been sitting on the floor for a good hour, managing to get through a good portion of your gifts for your friends. Eren was in his room, probably sleeping— which works out, considering you need to wrap his present.

You place the last piece of tape on the flap to seal the gift. You grab a shiny bow that compliments your choice of gift wrap, meticulously removing the release paper. Getting adhesive on your finger tips was never any fun.

“The final touch,” you whisper.

You pinch the top of the bow, making sure it lines up exactly where it needs to be. It’s going to be perfect. Slowly, carefully, just a few more millimeters—

“Whatcha doin��?”

And now the bow was off center. Great.

“Jesus, ‘Ren. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” You know he doesn’t actually mean it based on the lopsided smile he gives you as he plops down beside you, knee brushing yours as he situates himself. You have to fight the heat that threatens to rise up your neck, to swallow the sudden lump in your throat.

He grabs the box, shaking it precariously. “Who’s this for?”

You snatch the present out of his hands, shooting him a glare. Eren doesn’t seem to be fazed, doesn’t whither beneath the intensity of your stare. If anything, your annoyance just eggs him on further, to keep pressing your buttons. He reaches for the gift once again, to which you respond by raising your arm up, trying to move the gift out of arm’s reach. Eren takes it back easily, shaking it once again. You sigh.

“It’s yours. But if you keep shaking it like that, you’re not gonna have a present.”

“For me?” He blinks. He makes a show of bringing the gift up to eye level, inspecting it from all sides while scratching his chin. He has the audacity to look puzzled. “Hmm…”

“What?”

“It doesn’t look like what I asked for.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “Yeah? I’m pretty sure I know what’s in there, and I’m pretty sure it’s something you want.”

“Mmm…no, I don’t think so.”

“You don’t even know what’s in there!”

“You’re right,” he admits, placing the box underneath the Christmas tree. “I don’t, but I know it’s not the thing I want most.”

“And what would that be?”

He smiles, and you can see a mischievous glimmer in his emerald eyes that make your stomach drop and your heart rate pick up. Whether it’s out of fear or excitement, you’re not sure.

You’re bristle when he reaches behind you and grabs a bow.

“You see, the thing I want most is…” he gently places the bow on top of your head, hand traveling down to cup your cheek. His other hand rests on your collarbone and grazes your arm as he slides it down to intertwine his fingers with yours. You vaguely wonder if he can feel just how scorching hot your cheek is because of him. You also wonder if he notices how you tilt your head up, how your bring your face just an inch closer to his, how your breath hitches in your throat when you catch a glimpse of the small smile he gives before he brings his lips to meet yours.

“You.”

You’re not sure who pulls away first, but you’re both breathless and high off serotonin when you part. Eren rests his forehead against yours with a grin plastered on his tan face.

“You could’ve just asked to kiss me, you know.”

“Yeah, but it’s more fun this way.”

An idea pops into your mind. You mirror Eren’s earlier movements, placing a nice green ribbon on top of his head. You watch his brows furrow with confusion.

You let out a breathy laugh at his expression. “You still haven’t given me my present, you know?”

Work belongs to @ryukatters. Please do not repost or share my works on Tiktok.

[supernaturalgirl20]

La Secretaria

Pairings: Javier Pena x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, angst, fluff, men being sexist, mutual pining.

Summary: being Javier’s secretary isn’t easy. He’s hot headed, stubborn and aggressive, but so are you. What happens when he finally meets his match.

A/N: I wanted to writ pure smut for Javier, been in my feels today so I needed this.

{Comments and reblogs really appreciated}

You’d heard the rumours, of course you had. There wasn’t one person in the DEA that didn’t know about thee Javier Pena. Hot headed, stubborn, flirt with anything in a skirt and his number one MO, visiting the local brothel. Stechner hired you to keep a close eye on Javier, or as he put it ‘tame the beast’. He’d gone through at least six secretaries since he arrived in Bogotá, which didn’t give you great odds but you were nothing if not a trier.

You arrived at the office early wanting to have everything set up before he came. At nine on the dot Javier arrived and when he opened the door to his office he was shocked to see you standing there, coffee in hand. He narrows his eyes at you before you feel his gaze roam over you. He runs a hand over his face before placing his hands on his hips.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Y/N, your new secretary Mr. Pena. I brought you you’re coffee and the file on the Rodriguez brothers. If you need anything else, I’ll be at my desk.”

He stares at you, if he was impressed, it didn’t show on his face. You walk towards the door, the one he’s standing in front of. You stop before him and look him in the eyes.

“Do you mind moving!”

His eyes lock with yours before glancing at your lips and then back to your eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just walks past you to his desk. Leaving the office you sit at your own desk and begin typing up some of his reports. The day passes quickly and as you get ready to go home, Javier pops his head out. “Where are you going? I haven’t finished for the day yet.”

“I can see that, Mr. Pena, but my schedule is 9-5, so seen as it’s 5:10 I’M finished for the day.”

You can tell he’s angry, see the thick in his jaw. “I have reports for you to type up, your schedule is whatever mine is, and I’m not done. So sit tight and type these up.”

“I will, in the morning. Goodnight Mr. Pena.”

“If you leave, your fired.” He has a sly smirk on his face, he’s waiting for you to put your things down and start working. He doesn’t know it yet, but your just as stubborn as him, so you call his bluff and leave. He quirks his eyebrow, he hadn’t expected you to disobey him.

***

The following morning Javier arrives to find you in his office again, files in one hand, coffee in the other.

“I fired you.”

“And yet here I am.” You hand him the file and coffee and walk out of his office. He’s speechless, and just stares after you. Continuing your work from the day before, your interrupted when an agent walks toward Javier’s door. Standing, blocking his way you put your hand out to stop him.

“He’s busy.”

“Who are you?”

“Mr. Pena’s secretary, and you are?”

“Agent Feistl, has he fucked you yet?”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s a no then. Early days I suppose, or,” he looks you up and down, “hmm not really his type are you. He likes them skinny and pretty..”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You think I haven’t heard all this shit before, you don’t intimidate me what was it Fritsle?”

“It’s Feis..”

“I don’t care, your not getting in. You want to see him, make an appointment.”

Feistl grumbles under his breath.

“What was that?”

Before he can say it again, Javier opens his office door and stands beside you. He places a hand on your lower back, “ why don’t you head out for lunch?”

“That’s it princess, run along.”

You stare daggers at him grabbing your bag and leaving. Feistl turns to Javier who has a stern look on his face.

“What did you want, I’m busy.”

“I want to go to Cali boss.”

“No.”

“What, why not?”

“We’re not placing any agents there, not yet at least.”

“Right well if they do I’d like to go sir.”

“Mmm”

“Gotta say boss, that’s one fine piece of ass you got out there.You mind if I have a go?”

Javier can feel his blood boil, how dare he talk about you like that. Sure he has a reputation but he treated women with respect. He didn’t really know you that well but you could stand your own which he respected. Your different from the others, your intelligent, stubborn and your absolutely beautiful.

“Don’t talk about Y/N like that, if you harass her again I’ll have you on the next flight home.”

“Ok, you got it boss.”

***

It’s been two months since you became his secretary and he has fired you at least fifty times. You know it’s a challenge, that he is testing you, but you don’t give up easy. He’s started being kinder with you, offering to buy lunch on occasion. Your currently sat with him in the meeting room taking notes as the ambassador rambles on. He’s berating Javier for sending Feistl and VanNess to Cali and you can tell from his shoulders that he’s angry. When the meetings over he stands abruptly and leaves. You follow behind him, staying silent, knowing he likes it like this when he’s mad. He gets into the elevator and holds it open for you before pressing the correct button for your floor.

“He’s a dick.”

Javier wasn’t expecting you to say anything, certainly not that. You think you see a hint of a smile on his face.

“I think you did the right thing sending them, fucking bullshit deal, it’s a cop out..”

You don’t get to finish what you we’re saying as Javier pushes you back against the metal wall. He’s on you like a rash. He’s kissing you passionately and you can feel the heat coming off of him. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you flush against him. You can feel his growing erection straining against his trousers. You run your fingers through his hair pulling a low moan from him, one that shoots right to your core. You can feel the elevator come to a stop, Javier does too as he slowly pulls away from you. He whispers in your ear, “come find me later when everyone else is gone.” Then your alone.

***

Finishing up some paperwork, making sure no one is left in the office, you slowly approach Javier’s door. You raise your hand to knock when the door suddenly opens and he’s standing there looking at you with hooded eyes. He pulls you into him and once he closes the door, your back is pressed against it. His kiss is rough, hungry, like a man dying of thirst and your his only source of water.

“Wanted this for so long.”

“Really? How long?”

“Since that first day.”

He makes quick work of taking off both your clothes before moving you to the couch. He sits and pats his thighs, “come here baby, want you to ride me.” You walk towards him with sway of your hips. He grabs you by the hips, helping you straddle him. You sink down onto him slowly, savouring the feel of him stretching you. He groans at the feel of you hot and tight around him.

“So….damn tight baby.”

You start moving your hips slowly against him as he grips your hips tighter. He sucks on your hardened bud earning a moan from you.

“Javi….oh god….I’m going to…come.”

“That’s it baby come all over my cock. Wanna feel you grip me tight.”

Your body tingles all over as it erupts in ecstasy. You come hard with his name rolling off your tongue. He begins you thrust up meeting your movements as he grows impatient. Suddenly he flips you over, your back hitting the leather on the couch. He grabs one of your legs and holds it against his hip as he thrusts into you without abandon. You can feel the beginning of another orgasm,

“I’m close baby, want to feel you come on my cock one more time before I come.” He can feel you clamp down on him as your orgasm washes over you.

“So beautiful baby, who do you belong to?”

“Yours , all yours Javi.”

That’s all he needed as he releases into you. He slumps on top of you, careful as to not crush you. You run your fingers through his hair and he sighs at the feeling. He pulls out of you slowly and grabs a cigarette. You sit up and fiddle with your fingers unsure of what to do now. Do you stay or get dressed and leave? You know his reputation with women, he doesn’t do relationships. Deciding it’s best to leave you get up and start dressing. He sits there watching you as he smokes his cigarette.

“If you wait we can go get something to eat?”

“I…I actually just want to go home, I’m exhausted.” You gather your things, not noticing the hurt flash in Javier’s eyes.

“Yeah, I might hit the bar.”

You say nothing else as you leave for the night.

***

Your relationship with Javi is complicated, you work together and most nights you end up fucking in one apartment or the other. You love him, you know you do, you have for a while. You also know that Javi doesn’t do commitment, honestly your afraid to even tell him how you feel. In work things remain professional, he’s your boss and no one suspects a thing. Feistl might have a hunch but that’s it. The only time he claims you in work is after a bad meeting with the ambassador or Stechner. Which brings you to your current situation, bent over his desk, him pounding into you from behind. He’s rough today, not that you mind, he pulls you towards him by the hair until your back hits his chest. He grabs your breast and gives it a tight squeeze. It’s slightly painful but it still elicits a moan from you.

“Shh baby, gotta be quiet. Don’t want the whole office to know how well you take my cock.”

“It’s….just so….good.”

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve come and you can feel another one hitting you. Javi is close too, you can tell from his sloppy thrusts.

“Can I…come inside you baby?”

“Yes….yes claim me, I’m yours.”

He’s quick to pull out of you and tuck himself back into his trousers. You pull down your skirt and put on your underwear. You both didn’t notice that Feistl had entered the room, catching you both fix yourselves up.

“I fucking knew it. You too have been fucking each other. VanNess you owe me 50 bucks.”

“Jesus will you keep it down.”

“How long has this been a thing?”

You don’t know what to say. It’s not really a thing you both just fuck each other nothing else, much as you would like. Javi comes up beside you placing his hand on your lower back. He pulls you into his side wrapping an arm around your waist. You look up at him stunned by his actions, only to find him already looking at you with adoration in his eyes.

“Not that’s it’s any of your business, but it’s been almost a year now, right baby?”

“Eh…”

“Screwing the boss is the only way you’ll get anywhere darlin.”

You feel Javier’s grip on you tighten and you know he is going to blow.

“I wouldn’t get to comfortable either, he’ll kick you to curb as soon as he gets bored.”

“You need to shut the fuck up, or you’ll be out of here by the end of the day. While we’re at it, don’t ever speak about Y/N like that, she’s better than half of you idiots. Now get out of my sight.”

When’s he’s gone Javier turns you in his arms so your facing him.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, did that just happen?”

“Don’t worry about him. I’m not good with this stuff, but I… I eh…look Y/N I want to be with you. Not just for a night or her in the office, like actually be with you.” He’s fidgety and you can tell he’s not used to talking about how he feels.

“Is thee Javier Pena asking me to be his girlfriend?” Your teasing him but there’s a part of you that hopes that’s what he wants.

“Well I wouldn’t say…”

How could you have been so stupid, of course he wouldn’t want that. You pull away from him and make your way to the door. He grabs your wrist and pulls you to him.

“Where are you going?”

“Look Javi, it’s fine, we’re fine, I know what we have isn’t anything special.”

“Hey hold on, did you not hear me when I said I wanted to be with you?”

“Yeah I did, but I am with you, we fuck..”

“You didn’t let me finish. What I was trying to say is that we don’t have to use those titles, I mean we’re not teenagers.”

“What. I….we….”

He’s getting annoyed now and runs his hand over his face, “ ok if it’s not what you want that’s fine.”

“No hey I want you Javi, I want to be your girlfriend. I just didn’t think you’d want that, I mean you don’t exactly scream commitment.”

He kisses you and it’s one of those kisses that leaves you breathless. Pulling away he rests his head against yours.

“I love you. This is all new to me, I’ve never felt this way about anyone, not even Lorraine. I’m all in, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“I love you too Javi.”

Tagging:

@lunaserenade @anaaaispunk @librariantothejedi @day-off-inkyoto @asta-lily @maievdenoir @elinedjarin @dindjarinneedsahug @pascal-rascal424 @pintsizemama @seasonschange-butpeopledont @janelongxox @stevie75 @thorins-queen-of-erebor @dihra-vesa @loserrlauraa @kirsteng42 @ikinmahlen @almaeunice @jediknight122 @colorlesswhispersunknown @rosie-posie08 @alberta-sunrise @javierpinme @pascalisthepunkest

[edenmemes]

you - netflix sentence starters

more to be added. from season 1, season 2 and season 3.

❝ do you mind? uh, i’m in a hurry. ❞ ❝ my parents were assholes with the whole naming thing. ❞ ❝ you like a little attention. okay, i’ll bite. ❞ ❝ can we get real for a second? you have questionable taste in friends. ❞ ❝ is there more to you? ❞ ❝ you feel like you’re a piece of shit so you’re trying to be a hero. ❞ ❝ it was my mistake to trust in fate. ❞ ❝ i think i’m done being mad at you now. ❞ ❝ the things you do for love, right? ❞ ❝ do me a favor. focus on your own shit, okay? ❞ ❝ there are scary people in the world. ❞ ❝ i should’ve seen the signs. but we never do when we’re in love. ❞ ❝ aren’t you gonna tell me to have a nice day? ❞ ❝ you look like somebody just pissed all over your rainbow. ❞ ❝ sure you can’t come out with us? ❞ ❝ you were sleeping so deep, i didn’t want to disturb you. ❞ ❝ what are you gonna do about it? hmm? ❞ ❝ if someone sees me, if someone sees the real me, they’ll go away. ❞ ❝ sit down, and let me take care of you. ❞ ❝ this whole ‘nice guy’ act might work on other people. ❞ ❝ if the zombies come, there is where i’m hiding. ❞ ❝ you’re the smartest girl i know. ❞ ❝ i wish i knew what you’re thinking. ❞ ❝ i need to know that i can trust you. ❞ ❝ i do think i’d be happier if i was stupider. ❞ ❝ i figured you had some kind of night. ❞ ❝ it feels like i’m dreaming. ❞ ❝ ruining my life is not gonna save your life from demons. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry about earlier. i didn’t mean to get so upset. ❞ ❝ i could just be me, yet that somehow never feels quite good enough. ❞ ❝ make yourself at home. everyone here is friendly. ❞ ❝ i’ve read people wrong in the past. ❞ ❝ i felt this rage inside of me. like an animal made of teeth and fire. ❞ ❝ love is real, and i have more to give. ❞ ❝ what we went through...this shit stays. ❞ ❝ you know better, but you can’t stop. ❞ ❝ okay. it’s freezing out here. ❞ ❝ you would never hurt anyone. and that’s the truth. ❞ ❝ why do you look like someone hit with you on the head with a rock and threw you in the trunk of their car? ❞ ❝ tonight was just a setback. everyone has setbacks. ❞ ❝ unremarkable people don’t worry about being unremarkable. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to be disturbed. all right? ❞ ❝ am i just clenching my eyes shut against some truth i don’t want to face? ❞ ❝ it’s the old story: just thinking you’re right for someone, and you’re not. ❞ ❝ if you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be? ❞ ❝ let’s talk about something first, though. ❞ ❝ it is nice to be seen. ❞ ❝ you know, there’s so much more inside of you. ❞ ❝ file that away under ‘future problems’. ❞ ❝ there’s something wrong with you. i see it in your eyes. ❞ ❝ maybe a simple life isn’t so bad. maybe it’s what you need. ❞ ❝ these books are more alive, more worthy than most people i know. ❞ ❝ you need to get out of your head. ❞ ❝ i don’t want you to think of me like that. ❞ ❝ love is patient and kind. and so am i. ❞ ❝ i’m just saying...are you being your most amazing self right now? ❞ ❝ how exactly does one get rid of a body? ❞ ❝ that doesn’t make up for the damage you’ve done. ❞ ❝ sometimes, to survive, you have to show some teeth. ❞ ❝ i don’t think i have a lot in common with your friends. ❞ ❝ you really have nothing to be nervous about. ❞ ❝ let me out of here. i won’t say anything to anyone. ❞ ❝ whoever you are, you’re not a killer. ❞ ❝ i would beat this guy bloody for the way he talks about you. ❞ ❝ i told you, i don’t know who you are. ❞ ❝ what did i say? i told you not to come down here! ❞ ❝ i wish i had your confidence. ❞ ❝ was that pity? disgust? empathy? ❞ ❝ you know, i stole this dress to fit in. which is pathetic. ❞ ❝ why did you bring me here? ❞ ❝ if you want to kill me, what the hell are you waiting for? ❞ ❝ starting to think i’m some kind of magnet for dudes with serious issues. ❞ ❝ this isn’t your fault. dumb shit like this happens all the time. ❞ ❝ wow. you’re super in shape for an old guy. ❞ ❝ just let me know you’re okay, okay? ❞ ❝ what are you afraid of? ❞ ❝ let’s be clear, though, this is not a thank-you. ❞ ❝ if you see this place as a prison, that’s all you’re going to be, a prisoner. ❞ ❝ you’re a sweetheart. your family’s just a little...you know. ❞ ❝ well, everyone needs someone. ❞ ❝ i’m...falling in love with you. ❞ ❝ what did you love that makes you chase love so much? ❞ ❝ you can’t get away from yourself, moving one place to another. ❞ ❝ you seem like you’re doing a little better. ❞ ❝ you don’t think i’m a monster? ❞ ❝ i think only an idiot tries what you just pulled. ❞ ❝ well, consider me disturbed. ❞ ❝ if you call me ‘babe’ again, i’m gonna stick you in the oven. ❞ ❝ i don’t know, i’m afraid this won’t work. ❞ ❝ now that’s a sign, right? you’re jealous. ❞ ❝ can’t things just be simple for once? ❞ ❝ i’m not the vindictive type ❞ ❝ i know you’re making this up to impress me. ❞ ❝ i know there is a good heart in there somewhere. ❞ ❝ ride with me. it’s the least i can do. ❞ ❝ you paint me up to be this monster. ❞ ❝ why would you do that? why? ❞ ❝ the more i see of you, the harder it is to see you clearly. ❞ ❝ within minutes, i knew...i’m in a strange land. ❞ ❝ you okay? are you all right? can you stand up? ❞ ❝ sorry. i just...i lost my place. ❞ ❝ just something happier, for a change, might be nice. ❞ ❝ some people are assholes, and you just have to realize that. ❞ ❝ there’s nothing that we can’t fix, okay? ❞ ❝ that’s not how the world works. ❞ ❝ i’m happy to share all my secrets. ❞ ❝ what can i say? we all have baggage. ❞ ❝ i’m going to help you get the life you deserve. ❞ ❝ i’m not always like this. ❞ ❝ it’s not easy. it’s hard. sometimes it makes me sick. ❞ ❝ you must run and hide, for the hunter seeks. ❞ ❝ what if you just stayed the night? just in case anything happens. ❞ ❝ how do you see things so clearly? things i can’t even see for myself? ❞ ❝ fathers are the worst. it’s like their job is to mess us up. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i know the truth hurts, but i have to set you free. ❞ ❝ what am i supposed to do, root for your failure? ❞ ❝ if you don’t believe in me, just say so. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry it had to come to this. ❞ ❝ i should’ve trusted my gut. i should’ve known it was too good to be true. ❞ ❝ i should kill you. i should kill you right fucking now. ❞ ❝ you made me feel like you really saw me. ❞ ❝ i barely recognise myself anymore. ❞ ❝ i don’t give a shit! you threw me under the bus! ❞ ❝ you don’t owe me anything, okay? ❞ ❝ look, i’m a good person. or, maybe i’m not, but i’m trying. ❞ ❝ i’m just trying to figure out how to focus when all i want is you. ❞ ❝ if this is the fruit of your imagination, there’s no telling what horrors you’re capable of. ❞ ❝ i’m running. i’m a runner now. ❞ ❝ if you have any self-respect, you’ll come in here, and we’ll speak like adults. ❞ ❝ oh, i wish i was a killer. this’d be much less complicated. ❞ ❝ you know who my father is? ❞ ❝ please don’t put me in the middle of this. ❞ ❝ hard not to stare, right? ❞ ❝ i think you love it! the power, you love it! ❞ ❝ there’s not a line in the world i wouldn’t cross for you. ❞ ❝ i owe you an apology. you were right. ❞ ❝ you didn’t exactly rush to my defense. ❞ ❝ it’s okay if things are hard sometimes. ❞ ❝ i’m not bothering you, just checking in. ❞ ❝ how’d you know i write poetry? ❞ ❝ i can’t stand seeing this. i’m sorry. i just can’t. ❞ ❝ i just need to know who you really are. ❞ ❝ i thought we said we weren’t gonna do that anymore. ❞ ❝ you know i’d do anything for you. don’t forget that. ❞ ❝ you are burning through that book, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ you can still be a good person, and have a really good life. ❞ ❝ why is coming home such a chore for you? ❞ ❝ i’ve been learning a lot since i met you. ❞ ❝ you don’t even know what to say, do you? ❞ ❝ why don't we spend the day together tomorrow? just you and me? ❞ ❝ candidly, it’s the least appealing thing about you. ❞ ❝ hmm, you're not the standard insecure nymph. ❞ ❝ honestly, you blow me away. ❞ ❝ you really are capable of keeping a secret. ❞ ❝ whatever this is, it’s not too late to stop it. ❞ ❝ go on. listen to your gut. ❞ ❝ who the hell are you to tell me that i have daddy issues? ❞ ❝ find that brilliant badass inside of you, and believe in her. ❞ ❝ i believe in love at first sight. i had it with you. ❞ ❝ you can always count on me. ❞ ❝ you’re not trying to be anything than what you are. you’re just you. there’s not an ounce of falseness in you. ❞ ❝ i like who i am with you. ❞ ❝ good morning. this is my favourite time of day. ❞ ❝ you were just trying to help me see that i’m full of shit. and you were sweet. ❞ ❝ you drool in your sleep. so cute. ❞ ❝ sorry i didn’t call. is it okay if i come in? ❞ ❝ i keep waiting for you to be you again. ❞ ❝ just go. leave me alone. i’m serious. ❞ ❝ this right here, is the most important place in the world to me. ❞ ❝ i don’t know what i would’ve done without you. ❞ ❝ people. they’re easy to fool. ❞ ❝ if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were hiding something. ❞ ❝ i will do anything for my friends. and do i hide behind them? yeah. ❞ ❝ look, i apologise if i crossed the line. ❞ ❝ maybe i’m just a fool in love, but i’m right about you. ❞ ❝ i’m not always right. i’m human. i make mistakes. ❞ ❝ maybe if you’re not too busy, we could get a drink sometime? ❞ ❝ no, please. you don’t have to give me anything. ❞ ❝ at the end of the day, people really are disappointing, aren't they? ❞ ❝ you sound apologetic, like you're embarrassed to be good. ❞ ❝ you want to be seen, heard, known. ❞ ❝ was all this for nothing? ❞ ❝ if there is ever, for a moment, a tiny voice in your head, and that tiny voice is telling you ‘i deserve better’, listen to them. that’s your partner. ❞ ❝ okay, whatever. i’m done. ❞ ❝ what the hell are you looking at? ❞ ❝ you know what? stop. you’ve no idea what you’re talking about. ❞ ❝ okay. it’s freezing out here. ❞ ❝ people do not owe us a guarantee that they will never change. ❞ ❝ i would absolutely kill for you. ❞ ❝ believe me, i’m the king of unresolved family issues. ❞ ❝ that’s what you do. lie, so your life looks better. ❞ ❝ you’re so your mother. only less subtle. ❞ ❝ okay, so i hate to admit, but you were right. ❞ ❝ i guess i was hoping i could make the world a better place. ❞ ❝ you fall for the wrong men. you let them in. you let them hurt you. ❞ ❝ you are too busy living out moments you won’t remember five years from now. ❞ ❝ what you really need is someone to save you. ❞ ❝ your father was inconsistent, and you’re still healing from that. ❞ ❝ what’s going on? what’re you doing out here? ❞ ❝ what happened? did they hurt you? ❞ ❝ you don’t get all that goodness and possibility with zero risk. ❞ ❝ sometimes i wonder if i understand love at all. ❞ ❝ the first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved. ❞ ❝ this place is...musty. ❞ ❝ there’s a monster inside every person, all too easy to feed. if you make it strong, it will take over. ❞ ❝ why so weary? why so scared to be seen? ❞ ❝ hey, should i open another bottle? ❞ ❝ i made mistakes, yes. and i'll learn from them. ❞ ❝ you act nice because you’re not. ❞ ❝ friends support each other. ❞ ❝ you will never get me to say i didn't do everything i could for you. ❞ ❝ you've actually lost a lot of blood today. ❞ ❝ if there’s any justice in the world, you are the reward for all my suffering. ❞ ❝ no, no. i got it. i’ll take care of you. ❞ ❝ you’re not afraid someone will hurt you. you’re afraid you’ll hurt them. ❞ ❝ i love our little routine. always the same, but never stale. ❞ ❝ god. everyone says that like it’s so easy. ❞ ❝ what can i say? smells of the city. ❞ ❝ i try not to hurt you, you try not to hurt me. ❞ ❝ i don’t know. it sounds like a lot. i’m kinda tired. ❞ ❝ i understand that some things are harder than others to write about. ❞ ❝ i pass the time by counting down to the next moment i see you. ❞ ❝ i don’t like to mess with other people’s lives. ❞ ❝ by the way, this outfit is really working on you. ❞ ❝ it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ❞ ❝ the best ideas are always the ones that slip away. ❞ ❝ for the record, i don’t hate you. ❞

❝ when this is all over, let’s go away somewhere. just you and me. ❞ ❝ if i wasn’t so blinded by love, i would’ve seen this secrets right in front of me, waiting to be uncovered. ❞ ❝ not to be corny, but...baking is how i express my love. ❞ ❝ i just...i get weird with blood. ❞ ❝ you are 100% disqualified from giving me relationship advice. ❞ ❝ sometimes we do bad things for the people we love. ❞ ❝ god, i’ve missed you. ❞ ❝ i’ve done business with bad people. you’re not one of them. ❞ ❝ becoming a better person is way more aggravating than i thought. ❞ ❝ it’s tragic not to be able to show who you really are. ❞ ❝ i haven’t been this relaxed in weeks. ❞ ❝ it’s safer if you don’t know, okay? ❞ ❝ it’s weird how powerful vulnerability can feel. ❞ ❝ easy, easy, you’re gonna hurt yourself. ❞ ❝ half-truths just end up getting me burned so i should lie. ❞ ❝ being attracted to very smart women is a double-edged sword. ❞ ❝ you’re my family. i’d die for you. ❞ ❝ you...do bad things when you feel bad. ❞ ❝ pain...it can make people truthful. ❞ ❝ you know you can always count on me to say the wrong thing. ❞ ❝ hey, is someone harassing you? ❞ ❝ we have a connection. something deep. ❞ ❝ does that mean it was right to kill him? ❞ ❝ you’re going to get through this. ❞ ❝ how long have you been obsessed with me? ❞ ❝ you’re still mad at me. i get that. ❞ ❝ is this rock bottom? because it sure feels like that. ❞ ❝ you gonna tell me what happened to your face? ❞ ❝ come lay down. you look dizzy. ❞ ❝ i can’t ask that of you. ❞ ❝ i just need to patch up, focus, get back in the game. ❞ ❝ i wasn’t hiding, i swear. ❞ ❝ you’re lucky. the bullet only grazed you. ❞ ❝ maybe together, we can keep the monsters at bay. ❞ ❝ i’ve always had a complicated relationship with my own existence. ❞ ❝ it’s not like you can say you didn’t see this coming. ❞ ❝ we can walk away from this. we can do that. ❞ ❝ i can’t believe you. you just use people! ❞ ❝ the beauty that does exist in this world is fleeting and insincere. ❞ ❝ i’ve been a lot to handle lately, and i want to make it up to you. ❞ ❝ should i be preparing last words? ❞ ❝ i did a bad thing today. but for a good reason. ❞ ❝ it’s over. what’s done is done. ❞ ❝ it’s a horrible feeling to know things have gone wrong and there’s nothing you can do to change it. ❞ ❝ are you okay? you look a little... ❞ ❝ tell me the truth, and we can get through anything. ❞ ❝ you’ve just been hard to read lately. ❞ ❝ grief isn’t a straight line. ❞ ❝ i’m not one of those people who are obsessed with the past. ❞ ❝ if we don’t have trust, we have nothing. ❞ ❝ would you rather do something and be wrong or do nothing and be wrong? ❞ ❝ i knew something was off about you, and i was right. ❞ ❝ i know your family. i know how they are. ❞ ❝ i could metaphor circles around you all day. i have great metaphors. ❞ ❝ i’ve never felt this way before, where you love the bad things about someone as much as the good. ❞ ❝ it’s funny how fate works. ❞ ❝ some people deserve to die. i’m sure you had your reasons. ❞ ❝ i’m hiding shit. i am hiding what a complete, ugly mess i am. ❞ ❝ you’re just gonna abandon me when i need you the most? ❞ ❝ be an adult, okay? take a little responsibility. ❞ ❝ you really think that i am that dumb? that i don’t know what you’re capable of? ❞ ❝ do not talk for a minute, please. ❞ ❝ some people, they get what they deserve. some people don’t. ❞ ❝ i am not a hero. believe me. ❞ ❝ you didn’t let go of my hand the entire way home. it feels good. ❞ ❝ do not leave me in this abyss where i cannot find you. ❞ ❝ this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever given me. ❞ ❝ my mind, it...it goes to the darkest places sometimes. ❞ ❝ i don’t like looking back. i don’t see the point of it. ❞ ❝ if you don’t deal with this, if you don’t face it, it will haunt you. ❞ ❝ i like watching you reach into your mind palace for random bits of information. ❞ ❝ hey. i needed to hear your voice. ❞ ❝ if you believe that i am capable of something like that... ❞ ❝ you and i don’t see the world the same way. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna feel better soon, okay? ❞ ❝ who knew sharing my darkest secrets would make me feel so light? ❞ ❝ i’ve never wanted someone to appear yet not appear so badly. ❞ ❝ you make me weak. ❞ ❝ okay. it’s possible i’m the tiniest bit paranoid. ❞ ❝ the way you lie...effortless. like breathing. ❞ ❝ i want adventure. risk. ❞ ❝ real evil has to be dealt with. and you don’t do that by letting it live to take good people down. ❞ ❝ happily ever after is a myth, because people are not static. ❞ ❝ you're bleeding again. ❞ ❝ i know in my heart this is not you. ❞ ❝ i don’t know why i’m having these dreams. ❞ ❝ you deserve to be with someone who’s perfect for you. ❞ ❝ mmm...i think i know what you’re thinking. ❞ ❝ i can’t wait to see that dress on you. you have to try it on. ❞ ❝ i’m so glad we got away together like this. ❞ ❝ please move further away. ❞ ❝ i have no trouble doing bad things to bad people. ❞ ❝ you love damage so much, you made it your full-time job, and it turned you ugly. ❞ ❝ i’d sooner slam my nuts in a door. ❞ ❝ i meant it when i said i’ll make myself worthy of you. ❞ ❝ why don’t you tell me about your childhood? ❞ ❝ you invest nothing in this family. nothing. ❞ ❝ no offense, but you don’t strike me as the vigilante type. ❞ ❝ i am trying so hard to understand you. ❞ ❝ i learned every swear word in the book that day. ❞ ❝ i know, i get it if you are horrified and want nothing to do with me. ❞ ❝ do you hear yourself right now? ❞ ❝ who is the monster here? really, who? ❞ ❝ i’m always telling the truth. ❞ ❝ i’m closing my heart, like an out-of-business bookstore. ❞ ❝ every relationship teaches us hard lessons, right? ❞ ❝ there are days i just don’t believe in love. ❞ ❝ i’m just...not feeling so great all of a sudden. ❞ ❝ we’re a good team. i see that. ❞ ❝ run away with me. ❞ ❝ there are times i hate myself too. so much i can barely stand it. ❞ ❝ i have to believe our paths are destined to cross again. ❞ ❝ you act all pure and noble, like you have reasons for what you do when you do it. ❞ ❝ i really do believe that things happen for a reason. ❞ ❝ i see it everytime i look in your eyes. you’ve felt it. real love. real loss. ❞ ❝ people are nice, but...they can’t really fathom what i’m going through. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t take a genius to hunt someone if you really, really want to. ❞ ❝ it’s gonna be really fun fucking destroying you. ❞ ❝ it’s just you...and me. ❞ ❝ can you be a good father, if you are a bad man? ❞ ❝ find the people that get you. lean on them. ❞ ❝ i can’t completely cage what’s inside me. ❞ ❝ i know what i do will never be good enough for you. ❞ ❝ i love you. i can’t stand it. ❞ ❝ are you okay? this must hurt. ❞ ❝ any place is probably beautiful when you stop running for one second. ❞ ❝ do you have a nemesis? ❞ ❝ are you really who you seem to be? light and fearless? ❞ ❝ no offense, you look like you’re ready to puke. ❞ ❝ i just want to stop running. i want a home. ❞ ❝ you have a way with people. they just like you. ❞ ❝ i think i felt my soul come back into my body. ❞ ❝ our world is done for if we don’t think about that. how to be better. ❞ ❝ i’ve left so much behind. ❞ ❝ no matter how bad it is, you find a way to stay calm, and keep your wits. ❞ ❝ i have to believe love conquers all. ❞ ❝ it’s a chance to get back to who i really am. a quiet guy...who just wants to leave a quiet life. ❞ ❝ i’m not the bad guy here. ❞ ❝ i cannot afford to be predictable. my life depends on that. ❞ ❝ i think we have some unfinished business to talk about. ❞ ❝ you used to wrap yourself in fairytales like a blanket. but it was the cold you loved. ❞ ❝ you don’t love me. you never loved me. ❞ ❝ cover shit in gold, it’s just super shiny shit. ❞ ❝ drool a little more, it’s a good look on you. ❞ ❝ i can’t love again. i can’t risk it. it’s too dangerous. ❞ ❝ this is me, living without you. i don’t need you. ❞ ❝ actually, i think i’d rather save it for therapy. ❞ ❝ you complicated things by lying. ❞ ❝ you don’t need to yell. ❞ ❝ i’ll admit, it’s getting harder to live with so much heartbreak. ❞ ❝ are you following me? answer me right now. ❞ ❝ i’m asking you to take a leap of faith. ❞ ❝ this is my favourite time of day. when it’s just the two of us. ❞ ❝ i hope you didn’t start the fun without me. ❞ ❝ hi. you wanted to see me? ❞ ❝ when i’m with you, we’re the only two people on earth. ❞ ❝ you think i’m a fool? is that what you think of me? ❞ ❝ i’m really sorry i puked in such close proximity to you. ❞ ❝ we’re all a little broken. yet some pieces still manage to fit together. ❞ ❝ you’re a good person. you just do bad things sometimes. ❞ ❝ life just keeps kicking the shit out of you. ❞ ❝ you think everyone is damaged because you’re damaged. ❞ ❝ i could walk through fire for you. ❞ ❝ maybe it's not the best to make big decisions when you're grieving. ❞ ❝ you’ve been...off. you have been weird ever since we got here. ❞ ❝ oh my god. i’m alive. ❞ ❝ that’s the thing with tragedy. it makes you live for the now. ❞ ❝ you never know if you’re fight or flight until you’re forced to find out. turns out...i’m fight. ❞ ❝ i’m not afraid of you anymore. ❞ ❝ who you really are...the dark, that’s not a burden. you don’t have to push that away from me. ❞ ❝ you’re just saying that because you think it’s what i wanna hear. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i didn’t mean what i said. i’m an idiot. ❞ ❝ like the kids say: ‘fuck my life’. ❞ ❝ you’re more important than my pride. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ ah, to be young. ❞ ❝ people are happier when they aren’t lying to themselves. ❞ ❝ we can still be honest with each other, right? ❞ ❝ oh, you mean the time you left me for fucking dead? ❞ ❝ i know you don’t want to kill me. ❞ ❝ this is not how i want to remember you. ❞ ❝ i can’t stop thinking of you. ❞ ❝ you are a lot of things...but you’re not stupid. ❞ ❝ fitting in is not always the worst. ❞ ❝ you need someone right now. no matter how cool you’re acting. ❞ ❝ nothing could ever make me see you different. ❞ ❝ i want to tell you everything and i will, soon, but for now... ❞ ❝ you are one fine specimen of a man. ❞ ❝ did you not get enough sleep last night? ❞ ❝ if this is my pack, i think i’m meant to be a lone wolf. ❞ ❝ why rush when we have the rest of our lives? ❞ ❝ is there anything i can do to support you? ❞ ❝ can your parents really be that bad? ❞ ❝ there are no time-outs in life. ❞ ❝ i need your advice, ‘cause you’re the only person that i actually trust. ❞ ❝ can you promise to be calm? ❞ ❝ it’s really hard to stand here and have a conversation with you, as though i’m not totally distracted by how much i want you. ❞ ❝ this is what i get for being a pacifist. ❞ ❝ whatever comes, we’ll get through it, together. ❞ ❝ my life makes sense now with you in it. ❞ ❝ you make me feel good. so good, i forget whatever darkness resurfaced in my sleep. ❞ ❝ i’ve only got more reason to get the hell out of here. ❞ ❝ is this party gonna get any more weird? ❞ ❝ thought that would get your attention. this shit’s romantic as fuck. ❞ ❝ if you look up ‘klutz’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of me. ❞ ❝ you did lie, but you are still more authentic than half the fuckers i know. ❞ ❝ let’s focus on what is actually important here. ❞ ❝ with everything that happened, it felt like it was starting to get to me. ❞ ❝ you can put the bad things behind you. ❞ ❝ everything goes to shit when i don’t follow my instincts. ❞ ❝ i guess i’m bad at picking good people. ❞ ❝ but who takes care of you? ❞ ❝ okay, now you’re just playing with me. ❞ ❝ you’re at home in chaos, but something makes me think not by choice. ❞ ❝ did you just mansplain and patronize me in the same sentence? ❞ ❝ look at what you’ve done to me. ❞ ❝ why am i drawn to you? ❞ ❝ there is no trap so deadly as the trap you set yourself. ❞ ❝ you look scared, and it breaks my heart. ❞ ❝ there also must be some grain of truth because you look so pale right now. ❞ ❝ is an open door the same as an invitation to enter? ❞ ❝ i now truly understand the term ‘love of my life’. ❞ ❝ do you really think your story is gonna have a happy ending? ❞ ❝ i finally feel like i’m becoming a better man. ❞ ❝ let go of me. you’re hurting me. ❞ ❝ i really do see so much of myself in you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been worrying that my sins would be my undoing. ❞ ❝ look at you. you’re thriving. ❞ ❝ whatever you’re running from, we can figure it out together. ❞ ❝ answer my question, i’ll answer yours. ❞ ❝ once burned, i tend to cut my losses and move on. ❞ ❝ my name in your mouth is like poetry. ❞ ❝ i don’t need you, or anybody, to defend me or my honor. ❞ ❝ i’ve been biting my tongue for a long time. ❞ ❝ people like us don’t change. ❞ ❝ wow, when are you gonna grow up? ❞ ❝ i’m sorry tonight didn’t turn out as you expected. ❞ ❝ it’s creepy when you get quiet like that. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea how painful it is disappointing someone that perfect? ❞ ❝ am i losing my mind? ❞ ❝ and just like that, there you are. the woman i fell in love with. ❞ ❝ all i have left is to say goodbye to you. ❞ ❝ we’ve been through a lot in such a short period of time. ❞ ❝ you smell a little drunk, honestly. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to worry. i’m not stupid. ❞ ❝ you pretended like it wasn’t happening until it was too late. ❞ ❝ well, the sun’s already up. it’s beautiful. ❞ ❝ i can see how much you have on your shoulders. it’s a lot. ❞ ❝ i have never loved anyone like this before. ❞ ❝ i can’t believe you’re being so casual. ❞ ❝ we both had to learn how to survive really young. ❞ ❝ maybe i’ll stick around for a while, push my luck. ❞ ❝ we got a lot of catching up to do, buddy. ❞ ❝ what happened to your hand? ❞ ❝ now you come in here acting like some kind of hero? ❞ ❝ oh, you should see your face right now. ❞ ❝ who wouldn’t sell his soul for that? ❞ ❝ all i feel is rage. ❞ ❝ you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now? ❞ ❝ are you flirting with me? ❞ ❝ what, did i kiss you wrong? or... ❞ ❝ like i need your approval. the fuck? ❞ ❝ it’s like you’re not even trying, and yet, somehow you still try too hard. ❞ ❝ if anything, we can heal each other. ❞ ❝ who’s the man? i’m the man! ❞ ❝ how can you be so calm? ❞ ❝ sometimes we need to start over. completely. ❞ ❝ let me be clear. you fascinate me. ❞ ❝ good thing’s happen to people that are bad. ❞ ❝ everything’s better with a little whiskey. ❞ ❝ i’ve forged my way in the dark before, i can do it now. ❞ ❝ why are you looking at me like that? ❞ ❝ you are many things, but you are not a murderer. ❞ ❝ i have been having trouble reaching you. ❞ ❝ i'm such a fool. i’ve been distant, cruel. how can you ever forgive me? ❞ ❝ hey, not everything is a story, okay? ❞ ❝ i’m not entertaining your ego anymore. goodbye. ❞ ❝ you know i’m just trying to protect you. ❞ ❝ there’s evil everywhere in the world. ❞ ❝ i thought we could use a little date night. ❞