#it’s like he never knows how to use common sense to solve problems?

[kweenkatsuki-main]

I asked my husband to make lunch and at this point I should’ve just gotten up and made it myself cuz why is this so fucking difficult for him?

[1-800-kami]

R U MINE? feat. gojo satoru

gojo satoru has got to be the picture definition of a stereotypical college frat boy. he’s cocky, loaded with his daddy’s money, and dangerously handsome. it seems like common sense to stay away from him since you’ll never get more than a one-night stand out of it. 

that’s why you choose to turn a blind eye once you’ve come to the horrific realization: you’re in love with him. and you’re just itching to ask…

“are you mine tomorrow? or just mine tonight?”

IMPORTANT: part two is out! read here :)

content: 8k words, afab!reader, angst! fluff! heartbreak! n everything in between! implied smut, rich college frat boy gojo and hellcat driver geto ���, emotional rollercoaster, reader has a toxic ex, trust issues (?) gojo is absolutely insufferable, misunderstandings, use of words hoe, slut, etc., mutual pining, some jjk character cameos (wink wink) me writing very unfunny dialogue, no bc wtf is this, cheating implications, emo gojo (the worst warning of them all)

author's note: hello hello! my name is kami, i've been reblogging fics on tumblr for a while now but i've recently figured out how to work this hellsite, so i'm going to start posting fics that i write! thank you to those who enjoyed my nanami drabble <3 kisses 4 u all.

this fic IS split into two parts and there is smut in the second part. so just. prepare yourselves for that ig.

reblog and interact for a kiss ;)

“so… let me get this straight.”

“go ahead.”

shoko takes a deep breath, and you just somehow know that she’s pinching her nose in exasperation right now. “utahime dragged you out to a party in hopes that you would hit it off with somebody. you wander off on your own and later, she sees you and gojo–THE gojo satoru–giving you his number?!”

“uh, yeah. that’s exactly what happened.”

“do you even understand what you’re getting yourself into?! that man bags hoes like they’re pokemon!” you readjust the phone against your ear and sigh at shoko’s comment. 

“okay, first of all, never say that again. second, i rejected all of his advances. i didn’t even save his number.” you stare at the crinkled-up note in your hands, which proudly displays his number and a slick call me if you change your mind ;). you wonder if you could sell this paper to his fangirls–you’d surely make a little bit of cash out of it. “i’ve seen gojo around. i know that i shouldn’t mess with him. plus, he was drunk as hell at the party; i doubt he even remembers my name. to him, i’m just some chick that he’s frustrated at because she didn’t want to fuck him the second she saw him.”

“do you… do you share any classes with him?”

“i don’t think i do.. just, don’t worry about it, okay? i’ll throw away his number and we can put all of this behind us. here, i’ll do it right now.” you rip up the paper into a few pieces before tossing it in the garbage can. hopefully, you did it loud enough that shoko heard it through the phone. “i get that you’re worried for me. and i appreciate that, but i can handle myself.”

“just… no more mention of gojo anymore, okay? you’re right, y/n. let’s just put this all behind us.” shoko sighs, and you smile at that. problem solved. you threw away his number, and he’s most likely moved on to the next girl by now, so that was that. now, you just have to forget about satoru gojo.

all to never let yourself get hurt ever again.

it’s hard to forget about gojo.

not because of those dangerous blue eyes of his–getting anyone lost in them if they stare for too long. not because of his stupid silvery white hair, which makes him look like a mop, and sometimes like a paintbrush. not that stupid cocky grin of his, either…

...but because you’ve recently found out that he sits next to you for physics.

the revelation was truly disheartening. you thought you could avoid him for the rest of the year because as far as you knew, you shared no classes with him. however, you completely forgot about the fact that gojo never attends class in the first place, and you don’t even know what classes he’s in… because he’s never there. so finding out that the seat next to you in physics wasn’t just an empty seat, and it was gojo’s assigned one, was truly an experience.

“gojo.” the name alone makes your heart stop, and you drop your pen to look at the man your teacher was addressing. “finally choosing to attend class for once?”

speak of the devil.

there he was, in all his glory–the man you’d never thought you had to deal with ever again. the man who tried to butter you up with his corny sweet talk so that you would go home with him for the night. the man who persisted with talking to you, even though you were barely interested. the man, who, at the end of the night, insisted on writing down his number for you in case you changed your mind about him and gave him a chance.

you wanted to shrink into your seat and never resurface. 

“good morning, yaga!” he says rather loudly, with no regard to honorifics at all. a few giggles could be heard across the classroom–though geto suguru’s voice was prominent–satoru’s equally as infamous bestfriend. “and yeah! it’s surprising, isn’t it?”

what’s also surprising is how gojo took a seat next to you. you thought that there was a mistake, that your teacher would scold him for sitting somewhere he isn’t supposed to sit and relocate him elsewhere. however, yaga just grumbles and begins the lesson, leaving you helpless and unable to look at the man next to you.

you swear he’s burning holes at the back of your head.

pleasdon’tremembermeisweartogodpleasedon’trememberme-

“you’re that girl from the party, right?” he whispers, and you’ve never wanted to disappear so badly in your life. you slowly nod your head, turning to look at him, and he pouts. “y/n l/n. you never saved my number. hmph, i was looking forward to a text from you, too.”

“i’m surprised you even remember me, 'cause you were fucking wasted that night.” you twiddle your pencil, averting your gaze from the man. “and i never saved your number cause i threw the paper in the trash. it’s probably at a landfill somewhere, y’know.”

your words catch him off guard, and you laugh at how surprised satoru looks. it seems that’s definitely not an emotion he shows often. despite his initial reaction, satoru swears he could feel butterflies with the way your laugh sounds.

“not a common problem for a womanizer, huh?”

“what did you just call me?!-”

“y/n and gojo, do either of you have something to share with the class?” a dark blush of embarrassment covers your face, and somewhere in the back, you could hear geto snickering. gojo just smirks at yaga, seeming completely uanffected. “then i’d suggest you stay quiet the rest of this lesson. don’t make me separate you two.”

“i’d prefer that, actually…” gojo huffs at your comment, thinking of this as a lost opportunity if the two of you get separated. he does a once over at your appearance. you’re cute, but definitely not the party kind. you’re playing hard to get, and gojo finds it adorable–not a lot of girls go that way with him. however, gojo thinks you’re not just like any girl. there’s something different about you that intrigues him.

“did no one ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?”

“how could i not? you’re so cute.” 

“i thought you already learned from the party, gojo. i’m not interested in you.” 

the light blush coating your cheeks says otherwise. he smiles cheekily at the way you tried to hide your reaction to his words. you’re an enigma to gojo… and he’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame. he thinks he’s made his decision.

he’s gonna do whatever’s possible to get your number.

when the bell rings 30 minutes later, you shove your notebook into your bag, eager to finally leave the class that you had with that stupid paintbrush. that is, until he stops you with a question. “what class do you have next?”

he’s relentless. “why do you care?”

“i want to walk you to your next class,” he says, and smirks before saying his next words. “it doesn’t really matter if you tell me or not. i’ll just follow you anyways.”

you sigh, absolutely exasperated with him. he’s like a fly who keeps invading your personal space—always coming back no matter how many times you swat it away. he’s right, though. damn him for being stubborn. “i actually have this period free.”

“oh, sweet!” he chirps, walking with you out the door, making sure to greet geto before he leaves the classroom. “let’s go to the courtyard. i’ll buy you a drink from the vending machine-“

“i was gonna do that regardless if you were here or not.” you give him a look, and you can’t help but tug on your sleeves when you see people whisper to each other as you walk the halls with gojo. of course you’ve heard the rumors. the man next to you is the most popular guy on campus. girls glare daggers at you and the guys call his name, although he barely even acknowledges them. 

some common things that you’ve heard about gojo around the school are: “i heard he only talks to girls for sex,” “apparently his best friend geto is just as much of a player!” “i mean, who wouldn’t fuck a guy like gojo, though? he’s hot and loaded.” “that’s how he reels you in, though. he gets his hand in your pants and never calls you back again.” you know you should stay away from him, it’s common sense, but it’s hard to stay away from him when he’s the one who glues himself to your side. 

“well, now you’ll get a free drink and we’ll get to know each other! isn’t that great?” he smiles and you just grimace at his words. 

“i don’t need your money…”

“don’t care! can’t hear you!” he says, and you’ve seriously considered just making a run for it. at least you’ll lose him, and you’d finally be able to find peace for a bit. although, it would cause a scene, and gojo would probably end up finding you again somehow. 

“what can i do to get you to leave me alone?”

that piques his interest, even though he looks slightly hurt by your question. he thinks for a bit, and smirks. “i really do want to buy you something from the vending machine.. and i want you to spend your free period with me. i’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day if you do.”

“do you promise? like, actually?”

“mhm! pinky promise!” you feel like you’re talking to a prepubescent boy.

“then sure-“ you’re about to agree, but he cuts you off with one more condition.

“i also want your number.”

you feel like you’ve been cursed by a god, because having the most popular guy on campus be interested in you has got to be the most chaotic thing to ever happen in your life.

“what do you have me saved as?” 

the question comes from out of the blue, and you look up from the book you were completely absorbed in. you and satoru were at the school library, on a “study date” as he calls it, although it was more so just gojo inviting himself to wherever place you go, as per usual. this time, you have an exam to study for, and you explicitly told him not to bother you unless absolutely necessary.

you do have to say, though, he’s not annoying as you thought he was. he just nagged you way more the first day he sat next to you in physics so he could get your number. it’s been a few days since then, but still, you’d definitely be more efficient in your studies if you didn’t have him attached to your hip all the time.

“satoru, i told you not to bother me-“

“unless absolutely necessary. yeah, i heard you, and this question needs an absolutely necessary answer! contact names really say a lot about our relationship, y’know.”

“relationship? nobody ever said we were even friends-“

“don’t break my heart like that, babe. plus, you don’t call me gojo anymore! it’s satoru to you now,” his heart warms at that realization, and you scoff, especially at the pet name. “we are friends, unless you’d like to be something more...”

“if you say anything else i’m calling you by your government name. gojo satoru.” he looks especially wounded by that.

“ah! don’t do that, please. it feels like we’re a married couple and you’re really mad at me.” he cries and you can’t help but giggle at his words. you decide to entertain him a little bit, fishing through your pocket to find your phone. 

he almost passes out at what he sees on your screen.

“it’s just my number? you didn’t even save my contact?!-“

the shushes from your fellow students and the librarians aren’t even enough to calm gojo’s agony and despair. it also does nothing to stop your laughter, either.

from that day on, gojo’s contact was forcefully changed from his number to “satoru” (he initially added a heart, but you deleted it, much to his disappointment) and one of his many selfies from his stupid instagram account. how the hell can a college student even have thousands of followers?! you think. 

gojo just says that nobody can resist his shirtless post-workout selfies. you’re surprised that you didn’t slap him at his words.

you push him away.

everytime gojo buys your favorite drink, (it’s always on him, despite your genuine insistence in saying that you could pay for your drink just fine.) everytime he walks you to all of your classes each day, (he memorized your schedule just so he could do this) everytime he buys you your favorite foods on the rare instances that you let him take you out for lunch, (usually, this requires a lot of begging, and you mostly relent during class when you’re just exasperated and wanted to get some notes down.), and everytime he calls you by those stupid pet names of his, you think back to what the entire student body says about him, and you think back to your phone call with shoko, where she warns you to not associate with him so you don’t get hurt by anyone ever again, and you push him away.

you push him away even when you realize that if he just wanted you for sex, he would’ve stopped chasing after you when you didn’t text him after that night at the party.

and that thought alone scares you.

still, you’re not heartless. satoru’s been asking to take you out for a while, and you finally agreed to go today. he’s especially chipper about your agreement right now, walking with a slight pep in his step as he bit around his ice cream cone. 

the park boasts some beautiful scenery today, and little children are out and about. still, you underestimated the weather, and the cold uncomfortably nipped your arms as you internally cursed yourself out for wearing just a shirt. you crossed your arms as a subtle way to shield yourself from the cold.

“don’t play coy with me, y/n. are you cold?” satoru says with a cocky grin, and you huff at his question. surprisingly, he drops the teasing act and unzips his sweater, handing it to you. “here, take it.”

“satoru-“

“i’m not doing this to flirt or whatever you’re thinking right now. you’re shivering, and i’m just concerned for you, so please wear it.” he deadpans, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him be so… upfront? you kind of like it. it’s not him teasing you or him being flirty. it’s just him showing that he genuinely cares for you as a friend. you take the sweater with a nod and put it on, ignoring how your heart is thumping as you take in his signature smell. cedarwood with a little bit of musk. it’s not an overpowering scent, but it still envelopes your senses.

“nevermind. you look so cute with my hoodie on. i feel like we’re in a j-drama right now, y/n!”

you take back everything you just said.

a few minutes later, you two are near the kids playground when you decide to take a break from walking, sitting on a nearby bench with gojo. the chirping of the birds and the wind passing through the trees is quickly overpowered by loud crying. crying from the child right in front of you, in fact.

you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but satoru beats you to it. he kneels in front of the kid, and coos, “hey, buddy. what’s your name, hm?”

he stops crying for a moment to look at gojo and shakily responds, “gumi-um, megumi fushiguro..” 

“megumi, huh.” he clicks his tongue for a moment. “why are you crying, megumi?”

“i-i don’t know where my dad is!” he cries, and satoru looks to you for help. you just shrug, unsure of what to do with the lost kid, until gojo’s face lights up, assumingly with a great idea.

“he’s most likely just around here somewhere. you can wait with us, and we’ll help you find him! say, do you want an ice cream to help you feel better, megumi?” the boy hesitantly nods, and satoru gives him a thumbs up as he takes him to the nearby ice cream stand. you’re watching this entire scene unfold, absolutely enamored with gojo for the first time. you didn’t think he had a natural talent with kids—but the way he’s making megumi laugh while he happily snacks on his ice cream says otherwise. an outsider could look at you three and assume that you’re just a happy family. 

you try to ignore how that makes you feel.

and as you wave goodbye to megumi once he eventually is reunited with his father again, (an intimidating man who gave you two an appreciative nod as he walked away with his son.) you realize something as you tug on the sleeves of your-satoru’s sweater. 

you’re in love with gojo satoru.

and fuck, that revelation scares you more than anything. the last time you had given your heart to a man, he had crushed it repeatedly until you decided that you would never let yourself be vulnerable like that ever again. 

and now, you're in love with your school’s notorious playboy—and it feels like you’re setting yourself up to be heartbroken again. you want disregard those rumors and shoko’s words so badly, but they still eat at the back of your mind even though the real gojo satoru is right in front of you, and he doesn’t match the characteristics of the gojo satoru in those rumors at all.

you also remember that he has one real best friend, geto suguru. you like to think that this is also what geto sees in gojo. the reason why he’s stuck around.

the reason why you want to stick around too.

you’re so busy in your head that you’ve just noticed gojo frantically waving his hand in your face. “earth to y/n? oh, good! i thought you had, like, a shock reaction from seeing megumi’s father. he looked a little scary, no?” 

“he looks like if a muscle came to life and started talking.” you whisper, and he laughs in agreement. burying your hands into the pockets of his hoodie, you smile. you don’t want to think about your current revelation with gojo right now. instead, you’ll stick with the present. and right now, you like the present.

you just don’t want to think about what this means for your future.

it’s the weekend, and you’re doing some work at the local cafe, gojo-free for once. only god knows what the man is doing at three pm in the afternoon on a saturday. not like you should be thinking about him right now, though. his presence alone has caused you to be behind on your studies, and you need to make sure you catch up.

you have to admit, you were a little unused to the silence. usually, the silence would be filled with gojo’s endless banter with you, as well as his terrible, corny jokes that are so stupid you can’t help but laugh. his seemingly never-ending presence was annoying at first, but now, you’re starting to yearn for his company.

it further fuels the pit of uncertainty in your stomach, and you hate it.

shaking your head with a sigh, you take another bite of your pastry and continue typing up the report on your laptop. the looming thought of this report’s impact on your grade and the need to pass this class helps you forget about satoru for a while. once again, you get lost in your academics.

the ring of the cafe bell breaks you from your trance. it was a natural impulse of yours to glance at everyone who entered the cafe, but once you did this time, you felt your heart drop down to your knees.

it was your ex. 

your ex boyfriend who destroyed the notion of love for you, because he made you feel it for a short time, only to throw it all into a pit of fire and leave you scrambling to find nothing but ashes. 

if you had to find the true roots as to why you’re so afraid to pursue a new relationship–you always find your ex in the center of it. and now, he’s right in front of you. you have to face him again when you refuse to shamefully admit that you’ve barely even healed from the emotional scars that he’d left behind. 

you feel as if an invisible hand has wrapped itself around your throat, blocking your airways and your ability to speak.

out of all the days satoru wasn’t here with you, it had to be this one.

“y/n? is that you, sweetheart?” you wanted to vomit at the way he said your name. he had no right to say it so sweetly, when all he’s ever left behind is venom. 

“i don’t want to talk to you.” you cringe at the way your voice cracks, and you avert your gaze from him.

“please, just hear me out for a minute, baby..” he coos, and you hate the way he talks to you as if you were a child. “i know i fucked up, and i can’t change our past… but i can change our future together. if you take me back, i’ll show you how much i’ve changed-”

you don’t know how many times you’ve heard that stupid line before.

“god, you sound like a broken record with how many times you’ve pulled that bullshit on me.” you spat, loud enough to draw commotion in the cafe. your ex has surprise written all over his face–most likely due to your non-compliance to his words. “what, do you say that shit to all your hoes?”

your ex looks around, shrinking a little when he sees all eyes are on him. “now, now, y/n, no need to be like that-”

“be like that… be like that?! you’re telling me to be civil when you’re the one coming in here wanting me back, spouting some bullshit saying that you’ve changed, when i told you to leave me alone already!” you scream, and you could feel the tears bubble up in your eyes. you look down, so you aren’t able to see how everyone’s staring at you with pity. god, you hate pity. it makes you feel weak and vulnerable. the two emotions you absolutely loathe. “i just want you to leave me alone, god. i hate you, why won’t you just-”

“you fucking bitch-” he makes a move to lunge at you, and you instinctively take a step back, pure fear enveloping your senses.

you never feel the impact, though, as you see your ex being restrained by the cafe worker.

you remember him. the man who took your order earlier. he was an older man with a warm smile on his face, although you noticed how his cheekbones were slightly sunken, and he looked a little overworked. you jokingly quipped earlier that he should get some sleep before thanking him for making your order. he just replied, i get that quite a lot.

the size difference between your ex and the man is enough to discourage him from fighting back. he makes quick work your ex, dragging him out the door while he hysterically screams profanities to you on the way out. you assumed the worker threatened to call the police, because your ex scrambled up from the ground and ran away. you hoped this was the last time you would ever see him again.

“are you okay, ma’am? he didn’t hurt you, did he?”

you didn’t even realize that the worker was back inside the cafe. everyone was gradually returning to their own businesses, with the eerie silence being replaced by casual chatter once more. you also didn’t realize how much your hands were shaking, and you huff out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “y-yeah, i’m alright, and he didn’t hit me. i just… need a minute,”

you decide that you aren’t gonna get anymore work done like this, so you pack your laptop into your bag and slump onto the seat with a sigh. you bury your face into your hands. “is it a long story?”

“oh, don’t even get me started.”

he laughs at that, and you ease up a little. “i told him i’d call the police if i ever see him around here again.”

“that’s good to hear. though i’d prefer if i never see him in my life ever again.”

he hums at your words, and he turns to look out the window. “it’s getting dark out. do you want me to call you a cab?”

“no need, i’ll call my boyf–my friend. i’ll call my friend. he’ll uh, pick me up.” you’re still so shaken up you barely even register what you said to him. your eyes are frantic as you turn your phone on and look for gojo’s name in your contacts. you don’t know why you want him to pick you up out of everybody. you could ask utahime or shoko right now, but you just wanted nothing more but to see gojo.

the bell rings again, and you flinch at the sound. thankfully, it was just another customer. the worker sighs. “well, these orders aren’t going to be done themselves. just wave me over if there are any other problems, okay?” 

you nod absentmindedly, and he turns to leave, but you stop him. “wait, sir, what’s your name?”

“kento nanami.”

“thank you so much, nanami. i appreciate it.” 

“i’m just doing my job.”

“your job is restraining crazy exes of college girls and kicking them out?”

“‘it comes with the job description.” he teases, and you laugh lightheartedly. “and your name is?”

“y/n l/n.”

“anytime, miss l/n. again, just please… call me over if anything happens.”

“will do…” you say, pressing the “call” button on gojo’s contact. the anxiety is hitting you again, and you take a shaky inhale. you’re surprised at how he picks up almost instantly. “hey… satoru? yeah, can you come pick me up, please? i know i don’t normally ask you to do something like this but-”

“did something happen?”

“a lot happened, actually… i’ll text you the address. please, just come soon.”

“of course, y/n.” you could already hear him running out the door, hearing the roar of his car engine coming to life. “i’ll be there as soon as possible.”

he gets to the cafe in five.

you wave goodbye to nanami, thanking him once more as you get in the passenger seat of gojo’s car. 

it’s not your first time inside here, but you still can’t help but admire how… expensive everything looks. or maybe you’re just looking around because you’re stalling, and you have no idea where to begin with satoru. 

however, you notice that he’s not asking you what happened, and he’s not forcing you to explain anything to him. instead, he switches the gear shift out of parking and says, “do you want me to take you home?”

your eyes widen at his words, and you shake your head no profusely. the last thing you want to be is home alone right now, mainly because your ex knows where you live. you know he most likely won’t go that far with you, especially since nanami knocked some sense into him… but the possibilities still scare you. you take a deep breath before saying your next words.

“...can you take me to your house? i-i’m sorry for asking, i just don’t want to be alone right now cause i’m terrified and-” 

“y-yeah. i’ll take you to my house.” he says, and you’ve never seen him so nervous in your life. it almost makes you laugh.

“i’ll explain everything later. i just… wanna be somewhere safe first.” somewhere safe. you find his house as a safe place. gojo doesn’t know how to react. his heart is thumping wildly out of his chest, but he makes sure to put your own comfort before his feelings.

“you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” he says, maintaining his cool by keeping his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift.

“but i want to, satoru…” you say. you can’t believe you’re doing this again. you’re crossing so many territories that you were so afraid to cross because of your ex. now, you think you aren’t that afraid anymore. not if you have satoru by your side. 

you place one of your cold hands on the gear stick, interlocking it with his. is he… shaking? “thank you for this.”

still. there are so many things you can’t say to him yet. you don’t know when you’ll be able to… or if you’ll ever be able to.

i love you. i love you but i’m too afraid to say it. i just hope that you’ll be able to wait for me.

“god, you’re killin’ me here, y/n.” 

that pit of uncertainty in your stomach has grown so large you feel it's about to consume you whole. you don’t think you mind much, though.

the two of you are lounging at his couch after satoru insisted on telling you to make yourself at home. there’s a movie playing, with neither of you paying attention at all, takeout on the coffee table, two glasses and a bottle of wine after gojo didn’t know what drinks to serve, and freaked out by pulling the first expensive drink out from his parents’ alcohol closet. has he never properly invited someone to his home before?

“so in short, you had a crazy ex who saw you at the coffee shop… and he was begging for you to take him back, and when you went off on him he called you a bitch and tried to hit you…” he recalls, a huge grimace on his face. “tch. the cafe worker shouldn’t have let him go like that.”

“i’m sure he learned not to mess with me after getting humiliated in public.. and nanami did more than enough for me.” you retorted, and he gave you a sour look. 

“oh, so you know the worker’s name now?” he says, and you could feel the tension build up in the air. oh. so he wants to do this with you? “what, is he your knight in shining armor?”

“he looks like he’s in his late thirties, satoru. i’m not into older guys,” you roll your eyes at his absurd questions and add, “what’s it to you anyway?”

“what’s it to me, y/n?” he repeats your words, and you could feel an argument coming, like you already didn’t have an exhaustive one with your ex. “you know how i feel about you-“

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” your voice is getting louder, all to hide your fear behind the implication of his words. you distance yourself from him on the couch.. much like how you distance yourself from letting satoru get too close to how you truly feel. “we’re not even together, satoru. you don’t get to control the guys that i talk to- hell, have you even seen yourself?”

you’re rambling, and all you want to do is shut up, but you can’t bring yourself to. “i’ve heard what our school says about you. y-you’re a playboy, right? and you only ever talk to girls because you wanna fuck them. i’m not stupid, satoru. i’m not different from any of them, right? you only chase after me because i’m playing hard to get and that pisses you off-“

“what… what are you even saying, y/n?” he asks, and it stops your rambling for a moment. you don’t know what you’re saying. you’re pouring out all the reasons why you’ve tried to push him away, the reasons why you were so afraid to give your heart to him. but now that you say them out loud, they sound outright stupid. 

“i started coming to class just to talk to you, i memorized your schedule just so i can walk you to class every morning. i buy you all your favorite food and drinks… i had to memorize your favorites too, by the way. and i have shit memory.” he’s screaming at this point, and you’ve never had satoru scream at you. there are unshed tears in his eyes, and it’s all overwhelming to watch this unfold. “and when you called me, i drove as fast as i could to you because you never call like that and i was fuckin’ worried!”

“so let me ask you a question, y/n… would i do all these things for you just because i want you in my bed?! i’d do anything for you, and you know that!” he’s crying. the gojo satoru is crying, and it’s all for a girl. if you told this to someone in your school, they’d call you a shit-faced liar. gojo satoru doesn’t cry for a girl. he makes them cry.

“i’m sorry for being skeptical, satoru! i just can’t help it when there’s so many rumors about you wanting to fuck girls just for the shit of it – and i’m conflicted on whether or not i should believe them because i want you so bad and i’m scared you’ll end up just breaking my heart and i don’t want that to happen again-”

he cuts you off. “you… what?”

you’re confused at why he looks so surprised, but then you backtrack on your words and you gasp. fuck. why did i say that? you cover your mouth and look away from him, refusing to meet his eyes.

those stupid blue eyes that you know you can’t get enough of.

“y/n… can you please say that again? i don’t want to do anything if i didn’t hear you right.” his voice is soft now, and you swear that you’re dreaming. this isn’t real. right? i’m gonna wake up soon. you dig your nails into the palms of your hands, leaving half-moon marks in their wake. it doesn’t work, and you don’t wake up, and you know you have to accept the fact that this is very real and it’s happening.

this is the worst leap of faith you think you’ve ever had to take in your life.

“i want you so fucking bad, satoru. and i’m realizing that you’re not just the stereotypical rich playboy that everyone talks about on campus—you’re a really great guy, and i guess i’m just scared to face that-” you don’t even realize that satoru’s got you cornered on the couch, and you can’t finish your words as he slots his lips against yours. hard. it’s the most passionate kiss you think you’ve ever had in your life, and it’s got your breath taken away in seconds. holy shit.

you quietly moan against his lips as you kiss back, cupping his face with your hands and wiping his tears away. you wish this moment would last forever, but you pull away so you can breathe. you meet gojo’s eyes, and they’re clouded with lust and desire, but you could tell he’s still a little uncertain. “we’ll talk later… just take me to the bedroom already,”

gojo doesn’t need another confirmation from you, and he lifts you up to carry you to his bedroom, practically tripping on his feet the way there.

a few hours later and a noise complaint from the neighbors, it’s safe to say that gojo satoru was the best one you’ve ever had.

“god, i’m never letting you go, baby.”

he’s tracing hearts onto your bare back. it’s littered with bruises and red scratch marks just from a few minutes ago, but you’ve never felt better in your life. you stare at the man who invited himself into your life just from an encounter at a party, and you thank your lucky stars that you agreed to go with utahime that night. “is something wrong? you’re starin’ again.”

“i’m sorry it took me so long to trust you. i’ve just been scared to open up my heart again, especially after him.” you don’t have to name “him” for satoru to understand. 

“i’m sorry too. i just got angry about the rumors and i also disregarded the fact that you’re scared to love again after your ex did all of that shit and-” he pauses, and sighs. “sorry. i’m rambling again.” 

he pulls you into another kiss, and this time, it’s sweeter, lighter, and full of love. “i’m going to show you what it looks like to really be loved, because it’s definitely not the shitty picture that your ex painted in your head. there’s way more to it than that.”

“i love you, y/n.”

“thank you, toru.” you whisper. maybe, one day, you’ll be able to find the courage to say it back. and it’s okay, because gojo is willing to wait an eternity for you. 

he’ll wait an eternity for you to teach you how to love again.

“look at how beautiful you are…” gojo says, appearing out of nowhere as he wraps an arm around your waist. you yelp, staring at your boyfriend through the mirror. he’s wearing a classic black tuxedo, with no doubt it being very expensive. it compliments the glimmering rolex on his wrist, and the thoughts running through your head about him and his outfit sets fire to your stomach.

“look at yourself first, toru… god, we should just stay home,” you tease, turning around to pull him into a deep kiss. it’s a friday, and gojo’s taking you out to attend geto’s party tonight. the two of you are going for several reasons. he wants to introduce you to his bestfriend, since you realized that you’ve never actually formally met geto before. it’ll also be your first formal “couple appearance”, as if gojo being attached to your side all the time doesn’t say enough about the two of you already. 

gojo pulls away, which surprises you. you pout at the expression on his face. “as much as i want to, suguru’s been bugging about you all week. i really do think it’s time for you to meet him,”

“hmph. alright.” 

“i’m tearing that dress off of you the second we get home, though.”

“satoru!”

“what?! not my fault my girl looks so damn hot all the time!”

this night is going amazing.

when satoru walks with you through the front doors, arm wrapped around your waist and the dress you picked out for tonight glimmering, you feel a little shy. the guys all whistle at the two of you, and the girls whisper amongst each other, but you and gojo don’t care. in his eyes, you’re the only girl he sees. the only girl worth being with here. 

“wanna go get drinks?” he asks you, cerulean eyes showing underneath his sunglasses. you nod, walking to the kitchen with him. you’re getting severe deja vu… you can’t believe you met gojo at the last party you were at. and now you’re at another party, with gojo as your date. you scan the crowd for utahime or shoko, wondering what you would say to them if they saw you with the man they specifically told you not to mess with.

it’s alright, though. shoko was wrong about those rumors, and gojo’s proving it to you.

“satoru!” the playful voice greets your boyfriend, and you turn to see geto suguru. you’ve seen him around campus, and he sits somewhere in the back of your chem class. you haven’t really had the opportunity to talk to him, though… and he looks a little intimidating.

“you must be y/n,” he says, offering you a freshly opened smirnoff from the drinks on the countertop. you thank him and grab the drink, taking a swig.

“yup! my lovely girlfriend,” gojo lets go of his arm around your waist to grab a drink. 

“you probably don’t know this, but i’ve been his wingman.” he smiles at gojo, who’s pouting, like he’s preparing himself for what suguru is about to say. “he’s batshit crazy for you, its insane.”

“oh? do tell.”

“when the two of you got together, he left me a voicemail at like… four in the morning? anyway, he was screaming about how he was the happiest guy in the world… or something.”

“that’s because i was!” you’re laughing at how unashamed satoru is about this.

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” geto clicks his tongue, pulling out his phone. “and he’s reposted you on insta to like, every drake song-”

“alright, me and y/n are gonna go dance.” he interrupts suguru, and drags you away from his best friend with a yelp. “nice talkin’ to you, suguru!”

“hey, i wanted to know more!-”

“shh, you don’t need to know about all of that.” the two of you are in the living room, in the midst of all the bodies dancing and grinding against each other. he pulls you close to him, and you feel his hot breath against your neck. “you look so beautiful tonight, y/n.”

“same for you, handsome. let’s dance, shall we?” you wrap your arms around him and just sway to the beat. you’ve never been much of a dancer, but everything feels natural as long as gojo’s with you. 

suddenly, the music changes, and one dance starts playing. you two look at each other, and you both burst out laughing at the same time. “have you reposted me to this song?”

“duh. it’s a classic.”

“can’t disagree with that.” you say, finding yourself grinding against satoru while wizkid’s part plays in the background. it feels like such a perfect night–you’re pulling satoru into a deep kiss, and he shoves his tongue down your throat while he’s leading you to a nearby couch. you’re seated on his lap, mimicking practically every couple in this party tonight. 

suddenly, you pull away, and you whisper, “i need to use the bathroom.” 

satoru smirks at your words, thinking that it’s a hint for something else, and you give him a sour face. “want me to join you-”

you hit his chest playfully. “that’s not code for anything, you perv. i actually need to piss.” 

he’s pouting at your words, but he lets you off his lap anyway, and holds your drink for the time being. “it’s at the second door in the hall to your right. be quick, please.”

“no duh. i’ve got a cute date to come back to,” you say, walking away and traversing all of the bodies that smell like sweat and alcohol. you’re a little unused to this environment, but it’s alright. you fix up your makeup in the bathroom and freshen up a little, walking back to the living room to find satoru again. 

you wish you never did.

you were gone for four minutes. five minutes max. you come back to satoru, and your breath hitches at the sight.

on his lap was a random chick that looked like every other girl at this party. she was practically naked, since her outfit didn’t do much to cover her skin at all.

fuck.

you remember the first time you saw gojo at the last party you went to. the sight wasn’t that different compared to the one now. there were girls all over him, all fighting for his attention. and yet, it seemed that night, his attention was focused solely on you.

what bullshit that was.

your eyes are blurry, and the music is muffled in your ears. white noise fills your senses, and all you want to do right now is run.

so you do.

you run, not caring if gojo saw you at all or not. you run out of the party, eternally grateful that you didn’t pick out heels for tonight and settled for much simpler shoes. you run, despite the fact that you drew geto’s attention. you were already out the door before he could ask what was wrong. you run, just wanting to get away from everyone and everything. you run with no particular destination in mind. you stop running when you almost get run over on a red light, the car honking at you–screaming profanities as it drives by. it breaks you from your trance, and you sit on the curb of the sidewalk, letting all of your tears out on what was supposed to be a perfect night.

of course gojo didn’t think that you were different. you were just like every other girl to him.

stupid. stupid. stupid. you’ve never felt so stupid in your life.

when geto sees you running out the door with unshed tears in your eyes, he immediately panics. what the hell happened?

he goes through every room of the house, trying to find gojo, when he hears a bunch of commotion in the living room. he runs there, pushing past everyone, only to find a total disaster inside.

he sees gojo screaming at a girl dressed like a stripper, who was on the ground with tears in her eyes. satoru looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel with how pissed he looks. there’s a crowd forming at this point, and geto knows he needs to intervene, so he drags his bestfriend away, who looks so distraught that geto could just wonder what the fuck happened.

they’re outside now, and its significantly a lot more quiet out here compared to all of the chaos inside. all the noise is coming from gojo—who won’t stop crying, and geto has no idea what to do or where to even begin. “fuck!”

“dude, what the fuck happened!?” satoru looks like he’s feeling every emotion at once. he looks pissed, pissed enough to punch a wall, and geto’s a little afraid that gojo might actually do that–or worst-case scenario, punch him. he’s crying, and geto hasn’t seen gojo cry ever since he fell off a swing in pre-k, so what happened must be really fucking serious.

“i don’t KNOW what happened, goddamnit! y/n went to use the bathroom and some slu- some girl came up to me and threw herself on my fucking lap! i was gonna tell her to fuck off but y/n saw before i was able to and now she’s gone and she probably thinks that i’m just some cheater when i’ve worked so hard to get her to trust me and-FUCK!”

he stops, trying to calm down a little, and gojo takes the shakiest breath he thinks he’s ever taken in his life. the red in his vision starts to fade, but he still feels helpless. “i just don’t know what to fucking do, suguru.” 

“i just saw y/n run out of my house a few minutes ago.” he says with a grimace, and he’s trying to figure out what to tell his bestfriend. “i’ve never seen you like this over a girl before. holy shit, you really love her, do you?”

geto thinks that gojo’s bloodshot eyes, the brutal names that he called that girl at the party, and the tears he’s shed for you are already an answer.

“this is your last chance to prove it to her, satoru.” geto fumbles through his pockets and hands him the keys to his challenger. gojo snatches them, hearing the car engine rumbling itself to life. the white-haired man thanks his best friend as he steps into the drivers’ side, with geto reassuring him, ‘ill deal with the chaos inside, you go ahead and explain yourself to your girlfriend’.

gojo swears that he’s never driven so fast in his whole life.

part 2 :)

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey cats, I was the one who sent you that anon that's alright with me, I don't mind but is an gen z reader yeeted to the dc verse be okay? I could picture Bruce almost growing white hair because of reader who is an epitome of ✨unhealthy coping mechanism✨

Oh yeah, a reader just yeeted in there... Some universe doing some shit and Bruce adopts him... While also losing his mind. I love it. Lets go. It's a bit short, but... I like it.

Summary: (Y/N) is Gen Z. Bruce is loosing his mind.

Warnings: unhealthy coping mechanisms, Gen Z ones at that.

Bruce knew that each generation is different. They have different opinions, don't like to be told what to do exactly, although that's more specific to the newer generations. That is something that Bruce knew all to well. Gen Z wanting to have a balance between work and personal business. Bruce could respect that. But one other thing that shocked Bruce about Gen Z is the fact they have so many unhealthy coping mechanisms.

How would Bruce know?

He has adopted a teen who simply got, according to Jason and other younger heroes, yeeted into their universe. Universe where Justice League and it's heroes are real. And where DC comic universe is real. (Y/N) was forced to explain to the entire Justice League what DC is, what does it contain. And that has only applied to comic books. Then he had to explain cartoons, movies, video games... Absolutely everything.

Bruce found it to be interesting, the entire multiverse essentially, all of them are carefully planned out... Bruce found them to also be a great source of information. What to avoid, what to do... It was an incredible well of information and has decided to investigate this even more.

And while doing so, keep (Y/N) close to make sure that he has the information he needs.

And while (Y/N) is a nice kid, he has some unhealthy... Coping mechanisms as he calls them.

First one being jokes. Humor is something that can help a person if they feel down. Or if they simply want to deflect. And (Y/N)'s sense of humor is rather... Dark, to say the very least. Bruce would more often than not get gray hairs if he heard (Y/N) joking about his will to live being gone. He knows that (Y/N) is not suicidal... Right?

Humor is simply used to deflect... Right?

Bruce didn't quite like how (Y/N) was chronically online. Sure, teens spend time on their phone, but this is borderline an addiction. Bruce has tried to solve the problem with putting restrictions, taking the phone away. Put settings that don't allow (Y/N) to be online from certain times. That was to try to make (Y/N) sleep better, since he's clearly online into the late hours of the night.

Bruce simply wants the only child in the house who is not on patrol to have a normal sleeping schedule. Is that a crazy thing to ask for? It should be a normal thing to ask for, right? Being chronically online is far from good. Far, far, from good.

Also, hyper fixation.

(Y/N) was more invested in fiction rather than reality. Which would be fine. If it didn't interfere with his life. In what way, I might hear you asking? He's been neglecting his hygiene, gets angsty and anxious if he is not near his hyper fixation. Bruce never knew that Gen Z is this... Bruce shouldn't say annoying, but this was getting out of hand. Rather fast.

Bruce had to take action.

Otherwise he would get a lot more grey hairs. Way more. Way more.

" (Y/N), go to sleep. " Bruce pleaded, suited up and ready to go on patrol, however, he can't go, knowing that (Y/N) won't go to sleep. And everyone needs their 7 to 9 hours of sleep. Besides Bruce and the boys that are... On their night job. To put it mildly.

" I'm not tired Bruce. "

A common response in the most recent days from (Y/N) to Bruce.

" I swear to God, I'll sedate you with ketamine if you don't go to sleep. I'll knock you out with it to the point you'll be sleeping for days. " Bruce threatened and then came the infamous two words.

Alright, bet.

Bruce was seeing red at the mere thought of those words. They were both taunting and dismissive. Not something to be saying to an already stressed father anyway. And while Bruce has grown to love (Y/N) as his son, he was going to lose his mind with him.

" Alright, here's a deal. You go to sleep and sleep through the night and I'll take you to see your favorite artist. "

(Y/N) tilted his head, frowning.

" Promise? "

" I promise you. I swear it to you. I'll get you VIP tickets. I'll make sure to take you myself and pull strings. But for the love of God and everything else, go to sleep! "

[marwhoa]

request: omgggg <33 did not know u did ohshe!!! i love the way u did mori u did him justice!!! is it possible to for you to write mori x tiny reader please? i just find the height difference very cute and comical. thank u! 💕

🝮 mori-senpai headcanons

morinozuka takashi x short!reader

author’s note: I like Mori :)) my favorite is Hikaru, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t write for anyone else uwu 💕

word count: 1.2k

ఌ As he does with Honey, Mori can’t help but hold you. For one, he doesn’t want to accidentally knock into you, since you’re a bit out of his peripheral vision, and he has a habit of zoning out if there’s no sense of danger! If you hate being picked up, he’ll respect that, but do note that he is crying a river mentally.

ఌ secretly finds it irresistibly adorable when you’re too short to reach things and need his help. One of his fondest memories is when he just happened to be in the right place at the right time in the library!

During study time, Mori wandered off to the library to search for books on the women’s court in the Heian Period. While he was searching, he turned down one of the aisles to catch you grumbling under your breath about how “ all the books I need just had to be placed right out of my reach, what a joke! “

He didn’t intervene! Just watched fondly as you pulled a step stool over to solve the problem yourself (you’re independent! surely you have a few tricks up your sleeve to navigate a taller world?).

Thing is, the step stool wasn’t tall enough, so you resorted to standing on your tippy toes and trying to nudge the book into a free-fall. That is when Mori intervenes, as he watched the book shelf teeter under your inadvertently-tugging hand.

“ Y/N! “

It all happened so quick. You swore the world seemed to slow as the stool beneath you flipped and the books began cascading down the shelves towards you. With your hands crossed over your head, you squeezed your eyes shut and braced for the impact. While your butt hit the floor hard, you were surprised to find your back never met the same fate.

Instead, there was a light pressure and warmth radiating from the small of your back.

Opening your eyes hesitantly, you tuned in to the pained grunt and watched as Mori was hovering over you. The weight of the bookshelf was heavy on his back, but nothing could convince him to step aside and let you take the brunt of this instead.

“ Oh god, Mori?! You—“

You were at a complete loss of words. Thankfully others in the library quickly noticed and came to help lift the bookshelf. Before you were both free, you didn’t miss the out-of-breath whisper by your ear.

“ At least you’re safe.. ”

ఌ Stays close to you in crowded situations. He will use his height and strength to his advantage to ensure you have a comfortable amount of wiggle room regardless of where you’re at—the cafeteria during high traction times, the commoners’ train while it’s rush hour, malls experiencing season-high discounts, etc. Regardless of the setting, you can count on him.

ఌ Mori can tend to have cuteness aggression, and having a partner shorter than he is definitely contributes to that. He refuses to acknowledge he ever did this, but you can remember plain as day a particular study session in the third years’ science class after school.

As you sat across the table from Mori, yammering on and on about the current problem stumping you both, there was an odd creeping feeling that he wasn’t paying attention. Lo, and behold, as you rose your head to fact-check, you found Mori’s eyes just staring at you, clear as day that not a thought was processing behind those eyes.

Just before you could reprimand him, Mori shot up in his seat and rounded the table to stop at your side.

“ Whuh—“

Dumbly, you mumbled out a noise of confusion as his hands planted firmly on your cheeks and kneaded the flesh before then pushing until your face was scrunched up and making duck lips. You tried to swat him away but found your hand freezing in midair as an unfamiliar expression washed across his features.

Laughter. Mori had actually burst into laughter, a pure and genuine laugh that echoed in the room like the sun’s rays radiating in summer. You decided to let it slide for now.

ఌ Unlike the sweeter Honey, you tended to be more of a spitfire. A feisty fire that definitely fought back, and sometimes that worried Mori. While you could hold your own verbally with a silver tongue, some people can be a bit more… physically combative, as seen in the case with a particular vacation that landed Haruhi in danger with some particularly confrontative boys. While Mori wasn’t too much a fan of how frequently you could end up in danger, he was amused by how easily most of your enemies would tuck tail and run if he so much as glared them down from behind you.

And it was quite rewarding whenever you’d turn to look at him with a big triumphant grin, shamelessly declaring “ see ? you have nothing to worry about—they’re intimidated by me! “

ఌ Even though Mori yearns to dance with you whenever the host club holds parties, because of the size difference, he usually chickens out of even offering to dance with you. He’d hate to ruin an experience like that with you just because the difference in height is so comically large.

What he didn’t account for is your free spirited personality not caring one wink of how others would perceive you two dancing—you also know that he may be tall, but it’s not like your 3 feet tall compared to his 6’4 ass. At one of the most recent soirées, you almost-quite-literally swept him off his feet when you asked for a dance.

As you both took to the floor and swayed in each other’s arms, slowly the other partygoers began enraptured by the sight. Fortunately for you two, you had both melted so far into each other’s gaze and warmth that the others watching you had completely gone unnoticed.

Mori cursed himself for being so dumb and taking so long to ask a dance with you.

He also ended up purchasing his first set of photos from Kyoya’s personal collection. They had captured you both in such a perfect light and detail that he considered opening a museum in your honor. All just to show the world what a masterpiece you both made together.

He decided against it.

The photos instead sit upon the walls of his room, congregated on the exact spot he faces every night before bed.

ఌ Once y’all are together, you tend to rely on Mori a lot more, as per the rules of “ Girlfriend Incompetence ” or otherwise known as princess brain. Things you could very well do on your own are instead passed to him as something “ only he can do ! you couldn’t possibly do it yourself ?? “

A book on the higher shelf? Well, you could easily get a step stool, but why do that when you could bat your pretty li’l eyes at Mori-senpai and he would bring down the moon at your request?

A puddle obstructs your path? D’aw, well, just go around it! Or, you could turn to Mori with a pouty lip and a sweet little “ please? “ He’d sweep you up in an instant—an easy task with how much smaller you are—and easily traverse over the puddle. You would find yourself mentally lamenting just how much longer his legs are, but you’ll get over it since it grants you the privilege of being in his embrace.

[comicaurora]

do you have any tips on writing soft magic systems? I only ever see them talked about when people are comparing it to hard magic systems or criticising it, which is a shame because I love systems where magic is just in the background being unimportant, with implied rules that will never be explained

god I wrote up like eight paragraphs of explanation and I was really working out some cool stuff there and then the app glitched and destroyed it all and I'm so upset

Unfortunately this reduces to a previous problem, which is "figure out how Tolkien did it and then do that."

Middle Earth is laden with magic. Hobbits being good at hiding is magic. There's a random throne in the ruins at the end of Fellowship that lets whoever sits in it see literally the entire world, and that's hella magic. Aragorn radiates One True King magic and occasionally heals people with a touch. Galadriel's mirror lets people see any point in time, past or future. Gandalf knows several spells, but most of the time he's doing less granular stuff by making lights or small fires or going all Servant Of The Secret Fire Wielder Of The Flame Of Anor etc etc. Elves are inherently so magical that the words of their language are never forgotten by anyone who hears them, the laws of physics don't apply to them, their havens are magically pleasant and beautiful, and the planet itself is magical for them - flat for the elves, round for everybody else.

The benefit of a soft magic system is that it produces a feeling in the characters and audience that the world is vast, wonderful and unknowable. It's at its best when it can answer why, but not how.

Why did the old empire of men have a throne that let you see the entire world? That makes sense! It's hugely tactically advantageous! HOW did they get the damn thing? No idea, doesn't matter, they clearly made it work somehow because the throne's right there. Why does Galadriel's mirror give you limited, randomized omniscience? Because while it's a useful tool if you can use it, seeing the future is a dicey and weird game, and the future can change if someone knows it's coming. HOW does riverwater in a birdbath do that? No idea.

Soft magic systems start running into difficulties when the writer needs to decide how it can or can't solve a given situation, which is a very common issue in storytelling, a format almost entirely centered on problems and solutions. For hard magic systems with clear parameters on what is and isn't possible, this is comparatively quite easy. The wizard can't magic this problem away because-

They're out of spell slots :(

They don't know a specific spell that can do that specific thing

There's another caster nearby stopping them

The object that lets them do magic isn't working

They need to speak words/do gestures/use materials to cast, and they can't for whatever reason

There's something "antimagic" around stopping them

Etc etc. The possibilities are easy to run through, because the "how" is clearly defined, and can be negated into a "how NOT." If magic uses spell slots, stop the characters using it by taking those slots away. If magic needs a material focus, break or destroy it. This prevents magic from feeling like an unsatisfying "a wizard did it" fix for all difficulties because the wizards can only do specific things under specific circumstances.

Soft magic systems can contrive answers to this too, but it can be a bit tricky to justify, and if it's Too Convenient it can feel like the magic system really just does what the writer needs it to do. When asked "why can't magic solve this problem?" soft magic systems can answer in several ways:

Too tired, sorry :( magic is Taxing and stuff so the caster can tip over whenever's convenient

They're in a Bad Vibes zone that's hindering their ability to cast because soft magic can be impeded by soft problems like "somebody was very mean here once"

That specific magic is tied to a specific location, like a magical elf forest, and doesn't work outside of it because it's intrinsic to the place and can't be replicated

There's another magical being around and their kung-fu is more powerful

These explanations work, but that's conditional on the story not making the audience think the magic SHOULD work in this situation, and this is entirely based on what's been established in the story thus far. If the wizard has been able to fly up until now, parking the gang at the bottom of the cliff and saying "sorry, fly machine broke" feels contrived. But if we've only ever seen other, intrinsically magical beings fly, the audience is unlikely to expect that the party's humble wizard will suddenly bust out a set of feathery wings as a gift from baby jesus himself. On the writing side, it's really a matter of feeling it out and making sure nothing feels too jarring - if the character who's previously displayed a certain specific space of abilities suddenly does something completely unrelated (like going from clairvoyance to slinging fireballs, or from a healing touch to earthbending) that feels inconsistent AND it teaches the audience that this soft magic system is softer than they realized, and can then make it much harder for the writer to then convince them that this caster CAN'T spontaneously manifest a power or gimmick that'll save them. But if the magical characters or objects operate within a specific space - one character that specializes in fire, one object that specializes in remote viewing, one artifact that lets its holder control the winds - then the audience will expect and accept things that fit in those broad, soft categories without speculating too much on the underlying "how" of their mechanics.

But the temptation to explain "how" is very strong for writers, and soft magic systems especially have trouble with this, because soft magic systems start calcifying into fragmentary hard systems when they're forced to explain "how". It locks in a hard-defined axiom that can be logically extrapolated. Because a soft system is not DESIGNED for that kind of internal logic, doing that will usually cause axiomatic collisions as they contradict one another. If a hard system is a crisp, geometric crystalline structure where any tangent line drawn through it will intersect cleanly with other lines in very predictable ways, adding "how"s to a soft magic system is like drawing tangent lines through a bowl of pudding - you're gonna get a lot of intersections in awkward places.

To pull an example out of absolutely nowhere, if a soft system without clear rules establishes something like "this spell can be used to summon an object towards the caster, but it DOES NOT WORK on living things", there are a number of questions that can become relevant:

Who made that spell to have those limitations?

Why can't WE make spells that DON'T have that limitation?

How is the spell defining "living things"? Would it work on a plant or a skeleton or a piercing in someone's body?

Why did you let this character use it on a living thing anyway, joanne?

In a lot of soft systems that try to lock in hard spell parameters, "who made these spells" and "why can't WE make spells" become the first and most obvious axiomatic clash. If magic can be created to do what the caster wants, why and how does that work, and why can't WE do it? This forces the writer to come up with an explanation to solve the clash without letting the protagonists make up whatever spells they want, therefore solving all plot problems forever - sometimes something like "the inventors of spells were intrinsically magical beings, like elves or dragons or whatever, and thus we ordinary scrub mortals can't make new ones." That's a functional explanation, but it reduces to a previous problem again - that this hard-ish magic system was created by someone with access to an unstructured soft system.

In a soft magic system, the only answer to the question "how does this magical thing work" is "because magic." If any other explanation is needed, things rapidly collapse into hard lines and axioms and covering for edge cases. How can elves run on powder snow, shoot targets in the dark and see for hundreds of miles? They're magical. Does that mean they can fly like a balrog or sling fire like gandalf or control weather like saruman maybe can? No, of course not, that's not their kind of magic and we have no reason to expect it from them. They're just magic. Magic means a lot of different things, and in a soft system the audience has to operate based on vibes rather than rules.

This can be difficult to balance. For instance, Star Wars has a soft system in The Force, and if you squint, every single movie and show uses it differently. It's not super disruptive to the audience's immersion because it's never framed like a Hard System with Hard Rules and it almost never pulls something out of COMPLETELY nowhere, but if you look at what it does from movie to movie and then show to show, it expands from "influence the wills of the weak-minded", "seeing the future a little bit" and "force choking" to "general telekinesis" and "limited telepathy" to "FUCKING LIGHTNING FROM THE HANDS MAN" which is a hell of a twist the first time you see it, to some even more buckwild stuff in the two different animated Clone Wars (like Mace Windu fighting an entire droid army Samurai Jack style and using the force to pull every bolt out of one of them at once, or the planet with the living incarnations of the Light and Dark Side) and the explanation never goes further than "The Force is magic, it's in everything, people who are good at The Force can use it to do a buncha stuff." It's not consistent, it doesn't have rules, but the audience accepts that Force users can just kind of do stuff that fits the Vibes of the stuff it's already been shown it can do. And as SOON as they tried to say "The Force is strong in people who have LOTS OF MIDICHLORIANS" everybody hated it, because it gave us a "how" answer to a question nobody wanted to ask and it made this pervasive, wonderous, soft magic system that Surrounds And Binds Us Luminous Beings Are We into "we are space wizards because we contain an above-average number of bugs."

As a chronic worldbuilder myself, I absolutely understand the impulse to explain and overexplain and lock in the Hows and the Whys, but as far as I can figure it, soft magic systems live and die on the writer's ability to restrain themselves from saying "how." The answer is "magic." The rest is just writing the story in such a way that "magic" doesn't become plot-breaking.

[ryin-silverfish]

Heart and Mind: An Analysis of Tripitaka

I've been wanting to write this since…since I came across some good ol' Tripitaka discourse in the LMK fandom ages ago. Couldn't remember the specifics, but as y'all probably know, it falls under the "Is him an abusive master" and people's strongly worded retort to that question.

On one hand, I dislike the "abusive" take because so often, it is an excuse to reduce a character to an 2D caricature for cheap angst purposes, and both JTTW and its historical context deserve more nuances than that.

On the other hand, I don't agree with some of the defenses either——that Tripitaka is Kind and Wise and The Virtuous Monk, Actually, and people who said otherwise just had their views colored by adaptations, or were ignorant westerners misreading the book.

Because trust me, Chinese readers absolutely have gripes with Tripitaka too, and sass him mercilessly.

We may have a better idea of the historical context, namely, the common usage and acceptance of corporal punishments, but quite a few of us don't think he's a good Buddhist either.

Instead, I'd like to focus on his allegorical role, and how it ultimately forms the basis for my interpretation of his character.

It is commonly acknowledged that each pilgrim represent an aspect of the enlightenment seeker: Monkey is the Mind, Dragon Horse the Will, Pigsy the Desire, Sandy the Determination/Ideation.

Tripitaka is either the enlightenment seeker as a human, or the Heart, the Compassion.

But how can someone represent Compassion when his behaviors don't look all that compassionate, when he seems to care more about what a good Buddhist looks like on paper than in spirit?

How can a compassionate man punish his disciple with a migraine spell and disown him twice, be okay with some violence but not others?

Well, to answer that question, I feel like you have to look at Tripitaka in conjunction with SWK, and what the monkey represents. He is literally the Mind Monkey, the boundless potential of human intellect, and that, by itself, is neutral.

In the word of one of the best poems in JTTW:

"He could be good; he could be bad; present good and evil he could do at will. He'd be an immortal, a Buddha, if he's good; wickedness would cloak him with hair and horn."

To put it simply, SWK is one's wits, one's problem-solving skills, the ability to discern good and evil on a cognitive level.

Whenever Tripitaka, the Compassion, is deceived, it falls to the Mind to see the opponents as they are, and take action to protect the human from harm.

But just as blind compassion without judgement can be exploited by evil, the reverse is true for a mind without compassion, driven solely by their own ambition and whims and practical knowledge.

The Mind knows that robbery is a crime, so these robbers deserve death, but has no idea how disturbing it is for a regular guy to witness six people being brutally murdered in front of him.

The Mind knows that abandoning your wife and family to become a bandit is shameful and unfilial, but cannot comprehend why the bandit's father may not want his son killed for these offenses.

The Mind knows right and wrong, but has trouble seeing the human behind those acts, and why one should care in the first place.

And to see what the Mind looks like without any of Compassion's restraint, one needs to look no further than SWK's "Second Mind", the Six-eared Macaque.

Just like how "Heart" sounds like a lame power for a character, Compassion isn't flashy, nor as useful in a strictly ultilitarian sense. In fact, having compassion makes you vulnerable. It hurts. And unscrupulous people will absolutely use it against you.

So why hold onto your weakness and wallow in it? The world doesn't need another sanctimonious wuss, it needs strong, clever people making hard sacrifices, ruthless, logical decisions! Tough up! Stop caring, and you'll never be hurt again!

Much like a certain crowd who think basic human decency is somehow political propaganda, perhaps, when SEM struck Tripitaka, he was trying to do the same thing.

Kill the embodiment of compassion, the sniveling, useless, fragile human that keeps holding SWK back. Replace him as the true Mind, the one strong enough to break all bonds and seize glory with his own two hands.

But without compassion, without humanity, one is no longer a whole person, and cannot reach enlightenment. In fact, just like how Buddha would only give the True Scripture to Tripitaka, if you are not brave enough to make yourself vulnerable, to suffer and feel other's suffering, you will never transcend it.

At best, you can have some pale imitations of the parts you have willingly shut out from yourself.

And that's what SEM does. He thought he could do it on his own, singlehandedly replace SWK and reap the benefits of enlightenment, but he is no Monkey Awakened to Emptiness.

He is just empty; cut off desires because it is base, cut off determined ideation because it is foolish, cut off compassion because it is weak, cut off the altruism and curiosity and creativity from the mind, and you are left with a grand total of NOTHING.

A shadow of a self, desperately clinging onto external validation and stolen stories, reading the pilgrim's travel paperwork out loud as if that would actually make the journey his.

Tripitaka needs to trust SWK and learn from him, because compassion, much like good intention, doesn't solve problems on its own, and mercy is not the same as enabling harm.

SWK needs his master's guidance, because even at his most selfish and impulsive, he cares, and only by extending that care to others and accepting the vulnerability that comes with it can he truly mature and become awakened to the ultimate truth.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

One last bit of ramble: I feel like there is something to be said about Tripitaka's tendency to trust Pigsy, and how the pursuit of enlightenment is often derailed by worldly desires.

Unlike the demons they encountered, however, Pigsy is not the personification of mental obstacles that must be destroyed, because you cannot destroy bodily needs, nor the very human tendencies to slack off and avoid trouble.

You should stop listening to its advice, sure. Poke fun at it, absolutely. But what Pigsy represents is part of the human condition, just like every other pilgrim, and also something one must make peace with.

[miz-chase]

Ok but younger student Brennan au aka wouldn’t it be great if she was too feral for Booth to handle

In summary, please picture younger, dissertating Brennan, who is just as superior, unimpressed, and self important, but even more impulsive, violent, callous, unprofessional. Totally unaware of and indifferent to the legal process. Like amplifying all her best/worst traits of S1. She knows best, she can solve this case on her own, she goes after Judge Hastings and slugs him of her own volition.

Booth only finds out about this new evidence tech consultant the FBI squints hired when he gets the call to bail her out of jail. He has enough going on right now, what with his new son, his gambling problems, his low status at work, and that simmering anger he can’t quite seem to shake. The last thing he needs is this wildcard kid squint who has appointed herself judge and jury. Also, where the hell did she get a gun?

He does his best to disentangle the FBI from this kid, but she gets under his skin. She calls him right out, correct in the accusation that he’s too cowardly to push the investigation into the judge because he’s too powerful. She insists her evidence is both good and clear. “Be a cop,” she says, before shoving away from him and stomping off. He may have fired her, but somehow she’s the one who ends up on top. Metaphorically. Not that he’s thought about it literally. Much.

Her words get the better of his common sense, he goes after the judge and, yeah, it turns out her evidence is good.

When he tries to hire her back, she’s too proud to accept it.

Her boss, this smug dickhead Dr. Stires, intercedes and tells Booth off for wasting his student’s time. Booth does not like how he talks about Brennan at all, more possessive owner than mentor. The FBI is able to work from Brennan’s notes to rebuild most of the case.

He tries again to catch her, waiting outside her apartment one night with an armful of Chinese food, a bottle of scotch, and his best charmer smile. The way she tells him off would have hurt more if she didn’t look so damn young. Still, she lets him in. They drink too much. They spend the night together.

The next morning it’s impressive how she manages to be that hungover while still being so articulately furious with him. Also, so very loud. She throws him out in the early morning, swearing she’ll never speak to him again.

The throbbing in his head and his dinged dignity makes him yell back at her through the locked door, but it’s no use. He can hardly string a sentence together while she’s composing a full lecture series on why he’s “detestable.”

He swears he’ll never see her again, but even then, he knew he’d do anything to get her back.

He had to stop getting himself into these situations with women.

Apparently her and her professor are leaving on a trip to Guatemala. It wouldn’t be an abuse of power to get his buddy at Homeland Security to put her on the no-fly list, would it?

[thewulf]

Commander || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Did you see that pose about swim call in the Navy? Could you do a Hangman x Reader drabble while theyre deployed or something like that? super fluffy! You're so good at fluffy hangman haha. thanks!

A/N: Love a good Hangman fluff. Hope you enjoy reading! :)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Y/N

Word Count: 3,200+

“It’s too hot. I can’t take it anymore. How much longer do we have of this?” Jake whined leaning on the railing that overlooked the Arabian Sea.

You stopped with him shrugging off your button-up uniform from your shoulders leaving you just in your tank top, “You complain a lot Lieutenant Seresin. Only a few more days. Think you can make it?” Tying the top around your waist you leaned forward mimicking him. You weren’t really supposed to be doing that with your uniform, but you really couldn’t seem to care. He was right after all. It was blisteringly hot. July in the Middle East was no joke. You knew the worst that could happen was a slap on the wrist, a small reprimand if you were to get caught.

Jake rolled his eyes only subtly hiding the smile that was dancing on his lips. Even you had to acknowledge how damn good he looked as the setting sun framed his face for golden hour flawlessly, “Just because you’re a Commander now doesn’t mean you get to bully me Y/N.”

You shrugged, “Actually, I think it does Hangman. It’s exactly what a Commander gets to do. Command.” Giggling you turned your body to him. It was always so easy to be yourself around him. You had run ins with Jake all throughout your Naval carrier. First as students in Top Gun then on missions as coworkers. The two of you always seemingly dancing the line between friends and more than but both too afraid to take that step over.

He huffed knowing you quite literally had him there. He thought he had you somewhere else though, the air, “Now that you’re a big bad Commander you’ll never see the inside of the cockpit again.” It was the only thing he had. He knew you loved flying more than anything in the world. But you were born to lead. Having an uncanny ability to predict enemy strategies and to form defenses and offensive strategies was your strong suit. Not many had that gift. The killer instinct as Admiral Kazansky always told you.

“You know that’s not true Jake. Did we not just get back from flying with Captain Mitchell?” Raising your eyebrow, you waited for his retort. It took him a second too long to respond though. You knew you’d managed to get the upper hand, for this conversation at least.

“Need I remind you where your callsign came from, Salsa?” You had to admire his ability to steer the conversation in the direction he wanted. You’d even compliment it if it didn’t annoy you too much. But this was Hangman we were talking about.

You continued to stare at him eyebrows raised, “No, Jake, I don’t need you to remind me.”

“Student Aviator Lacking Situational Awareness.” He smirked remembering the time your Captain at Top Gun unfortunately giving you the nickname. Brilliant in the air and on the books didn’t mean you were so graceful when it came to common sense. All too often you’d ask the most basic questions after solving the most complex problems. Earning you the call sign Salsa. You didn’t hate it. But you didn’t really love it either.

You laughed it off, “And who’s the Commander now Jake?”

He bowed his head chuckling right along with you, “Fair. But even you have to admit… it’s hot as hell out here.” Jake tossed you a fake pout changing the conversation yet again in the span of a few moments. You’d roll with it. That’s what’s always worked.

“You’re telling me! I’m from Ohio! I’m used to ninety-degree summers with moderate humidity, not this shit. You’re from Texas, you should be used to it!” Leaning on the railing you embraced the wind blowing off the carrier. It was hot but at least it was moving, not stagnant like it was on land.

“I haven’t really lived there in years though sweetheart.” He defended himself throwing out that damn word that made you literally weak at the knees. He had to have known what he was doing to you.

You’d always found the man handsome as hell. But his personality put you off all too often. However, the more you got to know him the more you found out the personality was all just a front. He was actually a good guy with a kind heart who had been burned far too many times. Living the life as a nomad made it hard to settle and it was his defense mechanism. Was it tiring? Beyond. Was it working? Jake thought so.

“Fair.” You mimicked him again. It wasn’t your fault he’d chosen such words to send your brain into overdrive.

You smiled taking in his features. He was truly such a handsome guy that made you feel very strong feelings. You knew it was him. It was always him. It was always going to be him, and you were quite frankly tired of pretending it wasn’t.

“That all you got to say darling?” He tapped his fingertips on the railing as he waited your response.

“Jake.” You sighed not having a clue what to do or to say. It was like you were actually short circuiting. You’d love to take a next step with him, but you were horrified of the consequences. Were you even allowed?

You’d worked so fucking hard to get promoted as fast as you did. You’d proven to countless commanders, captains, and admirals your capabilities in strategy as often as you could. You’d made fast friends with Pete Mitchell as he was one of your instructors when you went through Top Gun all those years ago. Apparently, that was his first and only year of teaching. In turn, Admiral Kazansky had taken a quick liking to you as he held Pete in such high regard. One thing led to another, and you’d been promoted through the ranks much faster than anticipated. But you earned it. Always proving you were ready for the next step. Was it worth it to risk all that hard work?

“Yes?” He continued that damn Jake Seresin smirk that he wore so well.

“I was going to tell you top secret information about what may or may not be occurring at 0100 tomorrow.” You sighed removing your arms from the guard rail pretending you were walking away, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to freshen up.”

“Woah there, Y/N! You didn’t say anything about top secret information.” He grabbed your arm lightly as if to let you know he’d drop it the second you asked him to. Of course, you never would, you loved his touch.

“I don’t think I should tell you. You’re being awfully mean to your commander.” You frowned playfully loving the game you were always playing with him. Things were only serious if they needed to be. Things were fun most of the time. Making it so damn easy to be your full and complete self around the man. You’d developed such a deep crush that bordered on love for the blonde-haired pilot.

“What would please my commander then?” He winked taking a step closer to you. Closing off any distance you’d had between the two of you. So much for the heat?

You smiled a wicked one towards Jake, “Grovel for my forgiveness.”

He couldn’t contain his laughter. The way his face lit up as he laughed, the way his eyes crinkled and the way his lips drew in. You were sure you could watch this over and over again. He was so beautiful to you. You joined in on the laughter not being able to continue whatever charade the two of you had gotten into at that moment.

“You’re awfully pretty when you laugh like that.” Jake spoke up after the shared laughter between the two of you had died down a little.

Biting your cheek, you couldn’t stop the instant reddening of your cheeks. Jake was always good for that. Making you blush like mad but then doing absolutely nothing about it, “Are you flirting with me Jake?”

He nodded his head confidently, “Always am Y/N. Always will.” Shooting you another wink he squeezed your arm once more before dropping his hand from it.

Shaking your head, you decided to finally answer his question, “The top-secret information might be that we’re having a swim call tomorrow. As long as the weather holds up.”

Grinning ear to ear he grasped your shoulders, “You’re being serious?”

“As a heart attack.” You nodded your head. You knew why he was so excited. It wasn’t that often that these came around. You had to be lucky to be given a swim call. Some sailors were luckier than others getting to have a swim call on a few deployments. Some were unlucky as they never got one.

It just so happened that Admiral Simpson was feeling particularly kind that afternoon at the senior staff was meeting. Another captain offered it up as a reward and he’d agreed. He decided on tomorrow since there were no scheduled missions or training flights. What better way to relieve stress? He knew this deployment was longer and a little more brutal with the heat. He needed to make sure everybody was still levelheaded. What better way to reward the crew?

“Oh, hell yeah! The guys are going to be so happy.” His grin stretched even further if that was possible.

“You’re sworn to secrecy.” You shook your head, “The admiral would like surprise everyone tomorrow.”

His grin turned down into a devious smirk, “And you told me Y/N?” You were really feeling the heat now. Especially when he was looking at you like that.

“Don’t let it get to your big ass head Seresin.” You smiled right on back to him. Just one of the many things he adored about you. Your ability to throw it right back at him. You never backed down from the challenge. Even when you were backed into a corner you would continue to fight. Your tenacity was like nothing he’d ever seen before. Apparently, the Navy agreed as you soared up the rankings. Jake was sure you’d be a captain within a few years. Then an admiral not long after that. You just had it. Few did. You did.

“You’d never let it get too large.” He dropped his hands from your shoulders. You were about to protest but he did something he’d never done before. Something that caught you so off guard you weren’t sure if your heard had stopped or not for second. He wrapped you up in a hug. Gently he squeezed you into his chest taking a few deep breaths before he continued.

“You know how much I like you right?” Jake whispered so close to your ear you could feel his warm breath as it fell down your neck. God, why did he have to do this to you now? It was already hard to come up with words and now? Now it felt like an impossible task. He was pulling out all of the stops to send your brain into overdrive. You’d probably forget even your own name if he asked.

“Sure.” You hadn’t a clue what he meant. Like you as a friend? Like you more than a friend? You prayed for the latter but who knew? It could be the former.

As he chuckled you could feel the vibrations as they reverberated off his body onto yours. You could surely get used to hugs like this. Where you were completely wrapped up in his embrace. Where you felt so utterly protected, “I like you, Y/N. Like like you.” He nodded while grinning after seeing your utterly shocked face.

Yeah, your heart definitely stopped as you processed his words. It’s like he read your mind. Like he knew you were too much of a chicken shit to question his words. You could stand up to admiral and politely tell him to fuck off, but this felt more than daunting to you. This was your life, and you didn’t want to fuck it up with him. You’d had so many chances, what if’s, run ins with each other over the years. Was it happening this time? Were your craziest dreams actually becoming a reality?

“Wait really?” Was all you managed to spit out as your brain went through every emotion. Every scenario to this confession.

“Yes, really. Have for years darling.” He broke apart from the embrace observing you carefully, “I’m tired of waiting on a right time. There’s never going to be a right time. Especially when you’re you. Getting promoted every other year and shit.” He grinned pulling you right back into his chest.

“Not every other year.” You shook your head hiding it away in embarrassment.

He couldn’t really believe his own eyes. You so effortlessly standing in his embrace seemingly accepting his admission. He was tired of dancing the fine line. He was ready. So more than ready to take a leap with you. He was tired of being labeled the playboy, the flirt, the no-good boyfriend. He knew he could be great for someone. For you. It was time.

“So was do you say sweetheart?”

You pulled away from him this time giving him a soft smile, “About?”

“A date. A real date when we get off this boat in a few days. How does that sound?” He grabbed a hand stroking his thumb along your fingertips softly.

Nodding your head softly, “That sounds perfect Jake.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You squeezed his hand once more before beginning your exit, “Now go shower Lieutenant. No offense… but you smell.”

Shocked he strode forward towards you, “I smell? You’re getting it now. Time for a big hug.”

You giggled running from him, “Gotta catch me first!”

Shaking his head, he could only smile as you darted off towards your dorm. Oh, how he knew he’d fall in love with you quickly. He always knew he would once he let himself.

“Did you know about it Commander?” A woman you’d seen a few times around the carrier asked as you changed into your swimsuits.

“The swim call?” You played dumb. Of course, you knew what she was asking but it was much more fun to get hyped up about the whole thing over again. Morale was at a low point as the deployment neared its end. This was always the hardest time. When everybody just wanted to be home.

“Yeah.” She nodded while pulling a strap over her shoulder.

“Maybe a little. But Admiral Simpson just decided yesterday. Captain Flagstaff actually convinced him. It was a sight to see.” You smiled reminiscing on the friendly banter.

“It’s so cool that you’re a Commander and you’re like, our age.” Another girl spoke up from around the corner.

You smiled taking notice of her, “Right time, right place I suppose.”

“Bullshit.” The first girl laughed, “Your kind of a legend. What you and Mav pulled in Iran last year was insane!

You felt lucky to be alive. You probably shouldn’t be, but you never dwelled on it. You’d been given a chance and you ran with it. Ruthless and precise, never missing a beat. You were a commander after all, you had to prove your worth.

“Take calculated risks.” You offered up some advice for the young women who looked up to you. It was flattering albeit a little odd, “Now let’s go, we only get so much time in the water!” Grabbing a towel, you led the group out. You spotted Jake further off in the distance looking handsome as ever without a shirt on.

“Look at you.” You winked at him lowering your sunglasses. You’d always been overly flirty with the man but now? Now it meant something. Years of practice came in handy even as your nerves kicked it up a notch as his eyes traced your figure.

He shook his head, “You’re joking right? Look at you.” Throwing you a wink he desperately wanted to grab your hand, but he knew better. Not in front of all the Navy guys. It was probably already scandalous that the two of you were standing there alone.

“What? In this gorgeous Navy issued one piece?” You thought everybody looked fine in them. Not horrible not good. Just fine. But it definitely wasn’t flattering per say.

He shrugged, “You look good in everything sweetheart.” He whispered as a few people walked on by, “Always looking beautiful.”

“Hush, you’re making me blush.”

He laughed beginning to walk away, “That’s my job now darling. Now let’s go jump in the sea while we have the chance.”

“Lead the way.” You followed him towards the edge of the aircraft carrier. With a few railings removed you peered over the side letting people jump beside you. It was a long way down, but you’d done it before. Done it many times in training. Didn’t mean you necessarily enjoyed it though.

“Come on Y/L/N. Scared?” Jake threw you one last wink before jumping right off the side. He’d one upped you yet again. Dammit. You waited for the all clear before jumping right after him.

Resurfacing you quickly found the guy you were looking for smiling right at you only a little distance away. He certainly wasn’t being shy about it. The two of you had yet to really talk about what the other wanted but it felt right. It felt so right being around him. Like he was the other part of your magnet pulling you right into him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked once you reached him. Splashing him lightly. God the two of you were being so fucking obvious. But lucky for you nobody seemed to notice. Everybody too caught up in their own story, their own joy.

“I already told you. You’re so fucking pretty.”

“Don’t overdo it now Mr. Seresin.” You were smiling an unusual amount. You were usually so stoic and tight lipped. You weren’t doing your best hiding the new rush of emotions that were always sitting there waiting to burst right on open. Boy did they burst right on open the second Jake admitted that he actually liked you. You didn’t think you could hide the stupid little smile that didn’t want to drop.

“What? I can’t compliment my girl?” He gave you a devilish smile, knowing exactly what he was doing.

Your heart definitely skipped a beat in the water, “Is that what I am?” Raising an eyebrow your curiously looked at him as he pulled you in a little closer. You were sure it didn’t look good. Surely it looked suspicious.

“If that’s what you want to be. My girlfriend?”

You nodded, “I’d like that.” You whispered. God how you wanted to swim right over and kiss him. Why’d this have to happen in the middle of the swim call? Why not when you were on shore and could find a secluded spot away from the rest of the crew. There was one thing you were certain of. This’d be the most memorable swim call you’d ever have.

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.” Giving your hand a squeeze, he made sure to keep an appropriate distance until you could get away on that date. It was hard but it was worth it. Anything was worth making you happy. Jake decided that then and there as he watched you smile swimming around in the sea.

[parachutingkitten]

Jay = High Intelligence, Low Wisdom

Kai = Low Intelligence, High Wisdom

Essay about this concept below the cut

Now these are all just my interpretations of the characters, I don't necessarily have hard evidence on hand to back all this up, but here we go:

I've been trying to put my finger on the Kai smart/dumb duality, and I think I can finally somewhat make out my thoughts. Kai is not smart. Book smarts don't come easily to him, he's not great at math, he's not great at overly complex stratagizing- but he's got a LOT of great knowledge in him.

Take the dragon healing in DR. He might not intuitively know how different medicines work or why, but he's got injured enough that he knows that type of information is important to know, and so he's forced it into his head. He couldn't tell you why the blue goop helpped the dragon, but he knew that it would, and that it would be important to remember that it would.

He's pretty good at navigating complex social situations, because he's good at reading people. Having had a history with extreme emotions, he knows how to take them into account, and knows how important it is to do so, even if it's not necessarily logical. I hate to say this, but he's very emotionally intelligent, which sounds kinda like an insult but is actually insanely valuable, because humans are inherently emotional creatures.

He's got a solid basis of common sense, and is constantly looking at the bigger picture. That's why he can come up with the best outline for a plan, because he can not think through the details. Now, if he tries to implement a plan of his without consulting others, he's probably going to miss some very important details, and screw himself over. But, he's most likely to have the best basic premise for an effective plan. This is why his intuition is usually correct. He's not logically thinking through the most likely scenario given all available factors, he's looking at every problem from the birds eye view, and is easily able to fill in the blanks, because he sees the whole picture. You can not tell me this kid knew Lloyd was the Green Ninja because he used logical deduction to eliminate all other possibilities, he had a gut feeling based on realizing the value of human life.

Now, sometimes you need details. And Kai is not good at those. He sucks at those. Big time. But he's self aware enough to know when those times are (most of the time, sometimes he wastes all his lives in a video game before talking to anyone else).

The thing all of these points have in common is that he's lived a very full life while making very many mistakes, and he's learned from all of them. He learns from his dumb mistakes, and is wise enough to know which lessons are worth holding on to.

Jay on the other hand... does not learn from his mistakes. He's got a real thick skull.

Inside that skull is a really smart guy who intuitively latches on to engineering and science concepts. He's got a whole heck of a lot of information that his brain is holding onto simply because it can. This man is all about the details. He gets hyperfixated on details to the point where it's a problem. He's the most likely to solve the intricate problem facing the team, forget that they need to stay hidden, and yell "I did it!". Good at details, bad at big picture. This is also why he usually gives up hope so easily compared to the rest of the team. He can not think long term, he can not see the bigger picture like Kai can, so road blocks in the current plan seem insurmountable.

Sure, he might have rigged an old sailing ship with rocket boosters, but he couldn't unscramble "darnagom" his logical problem solving skills are not what's carrying him.

My standby for the Jay dumb/smart duality is that he should have a significant amount of William Osman energy to him. He's very smart, and can work out how to solve intricate problems and make insane builds, but if making said things is a dangerous or dumb idea has never once crossed his mind, and if it has, he has actively chosen to ignore it. Jay's intelligence is much more creativity based than I think a lot of people like to think. Engineering is about slapping crazy ideas together which barely hold together at first- and that's Jay's brand of smarts.

If you compare this to Zane, that's the vital component that his intelligence is missing- the creativity. He is VERY good at assessing options, but not so great at coming up with new solutions himself. He's running on pure logic and tested successes. He's also missing that social intelligence that Kai has. I'd venture to say that Zane is, by far the most gullible member of the team. If there is not a solid logical reason to doubt something, he is absolutely going to take it at face value. Point being, all the ninja have different smarts, and stupidities, let's not try to conflate them too much.

[nerdiqueen]

hang on I have to rant

if you're not already aware, the five-man band is a literary device used to classify teams of 5 characters. it's what I call an external trope, meaning that you fit the trope to the characters, they don't innately have it.

a:tla has a pretty solid one, and it's well known enough, so I'm gonna use it to show you what I mean

it is comprised of:

the Leader, who directs the group and is usually the main character (aang)

the Lancer, who serves as character foil to the Leader and is often a bad-guy-turned-good or rogue element (zuko)

the Big Guy, who solves physical problems for the team and is frequently a goofball (toph)

the Smart Guy, who solves technical/logistical problems for the team and typically serves as an "idea guy" (sokka)

and the Heart, who solves emotional problems for the team- if there's only one girl, she's probably the Heart (katara)

there are three star wars groups I want to look at: delta squad, domino squad, and clone force 99.

first is domino squad, as they fit this trope the easiest.

fives is the Leader, the most strategizing one in the group

droidbait is the Lancer, far less cautious and more prone to injury than the others (the foil to fives' effectiveness)

hevy is the Big Guy, serving the oh-so-common "big gun demolitions expert" variant

echo is the Smart Guy, in the "guys, come on, stick to the PLAN" variant

cutup is the Heart, lightening the mood with jokes (hence the name)

the first to die is droidbait, leaving echo to serve as fives' foil, which allows us to see that fives is probably the most prototypical clone of the bunch. then hevy sacrifices himself, and cutup gets eaten, leaving only fives and echo until the Citadel arc which I haven't yet seen.

then we have delta squad. the thing about delta squad is that there are four of them, and while the four-man band is a thing, they make this perfect incomplete five-man band that I think is really really tasty.

boss (player character) is the Leader, guiding the team

sev is the Lancer, playing the "snarky rogue" archetype

scorch is the Big Guy, again the "big gun demolitions" variant- but with the added flavor of being very by-the-book (which we see the consequences of when he aligns with not only the empire but doctor hemlock himself in tbb)

fixer is the Smart Guy, tech expert

notice anything?

there's no Heart.

and that works. these are clone commandos- meant to be the most effective troops the republic has. they almost never interact socially outside of their squad, and when they do it's kept pretty professional.

we see that again in clone force 99, or as they call themselves, the bad batch

hunter is the Leader, his enhanced senses leaving him the most generalist of the batch (and also he's technically their sergeant)

crosshair is the Lancer, a "silent, ruthless efficiency" type

wrecker is the Big Guy, "big gun demolitions" variant yet again (I told you it was common) in the goofball flavor

tech is the Smart Guy, btw he's really well done and it never feels like he just "knows because he's smart" you can always tell how he figures things out

again, there's no Heart. but wait.

in the Bad Batch arc in clone wars, they pick up another member- echo. we don't see much of echo's interaction with the batch in that arc, but when we come back, echo is solidly in a sort of almost-but-not-quite Heart role. and then.

omega shows up in the "sixth ranger" role, there to shake up the group dynamic. throughout season one, we see omega slowly take over echo's role as Heart- and as this happens, it becomes clear that that was the role he was playing, as he talks hunter through how to best take care of omega. but omega, tagalong kid as she is, is much, much more suited to the Heart role than echo, and she takes his place- which allows echo to run off and have his own adventures with rex throughout seasons two and three, WHICH WORKS because echo is a regular clone who joined the batch later in life and thus isn't quite the same as the others, but omega is a deviant clone just like them!

[martian-astro10]

we were studying about schizotypal personality disorder, and it's so weird, cuz they went "If you like spending time alone you have this" "if your ideas are different from others you have this" like, BE SO FOR REAL RIGHT NOW. It's literally a big money making pharmaceutical thingy and nobody can convince me otherwise. This is how they create this herd mentality, and I hate how nobody questions it, like nobody finds it weird?? It's literally not a disorder. There are a lot of mental disorders but this is not it, atp, they're just creating new things that don't even exist. Create new things, diagnose people with it and give them placebo medicines, great idea, isn't it?

I honestly hate hate hate how people don't use their brains, like if allopathy was so advanced and so great then why haven't they managed to find a cure for endometriosis. why have they not been able to create a birth control without side effects. why is it that they haven't been able to find a cure for thyroid? they give you a medicine for it and then you just have to keep on taking it for your entire life or they recommend removing your thyroid. why is it that their every solution consists of taking out the body part that has the problem instead of healing it??

It's annoying how people just believe stuff without ever questioning it. There are so many disorders that aren't even disorders. so many women are diagnosed with BPD despite them not actually having it. I do believe in vaccinations, and autism and adhd but I also don't believe in a lot of other stuff, it really doesn't make sense to me. I know so many girls who have such severe period pains despite not having pcos or endometriosis and the doctors just go "oh well, it's normal", like no the fuck, it's not. You shouldn't be having period cramps to the point where you are unable to do daily activities, and the fact that doctors just normalize it is absolutely baffling to me. the worst part is that the girls don't seem to give a shit about their body either, like, they have period pains and immediately swallow a BC pill, like your body is trying to tell you something, the severe cramps are an indication of a more serious underlying issue and you're just suppressing it. I started the discussion from god knows where, I don't even know how I reached this point, I'm just so pissed about everything. Also, stop taking Birth control as a method of contraception. They stop ovulation in a lot of cases, it's a very important process of the female body, stopping it is literally not healthy, GOSH. if your man refuses to wear condoms, throw the whole fucking man away, he doesn't care about you. there are many condoms made of good material that do not cause itching in the vagina, and lastly please educate yourselves. I'm not telling you to learn everything from google but rather telling you to study traditional medicine, I studied ayurveda and chinese medicine and have been able to solve every problem with it. You can believe me or choose not to, It's not like I can force somebody to do something, give it a try atleast. it will take longer to solve the problem, but that's because it actually "heals" instead of numbing the pain, and healing always takes time. Other than that..........what can I say.

my anger has subsided, reading this dsm pisses me off so much. almost all the disorders are most likely to be more common in women, I seriously wonder why..............Homosexuality was categorised as a mental health disorder once......lobotomy was considered to be normal......these fuckers also used to think that babies couldn't feel pain, so they used to perform surgeries without Anesthesia on them........this kind of thing never happened in ancient india........I refuse to believe anything that these idiots say

It's a "pseudoscience" ofc it is, anything that provides a solution and doesn't require a person to become a life long patient so you can extort money from them is a pseudoscience, dickheads.

[xanderjkz]

Knox Overstreet- Fixing the problem of a kind boy

I like fucking love the concept of Knox's character and the message he portrays but holy shit they really fucked up when it came to the execution. Both in the movie AND book (ESPECIALLY there). This fandom takes its time to reconstruct his character to be likeable. But how would this actually play out in a better-constructed storyline for this dude with girl problems?

Well, that's the answer I would like to answer today

Knox in the official dead poets media

Like every poet in the movie Spotlight, Knox comes from a family that's enforcing the path of a lawyer. His father is one, which is how his storyline even starts. He is invited to the Danbury's because his dad helped the only responsible and well-mannered dude in the house. And in that same scene, they literally tell us that people expect him to be a lawyer. So there's this kind of pressure.

But not really because we never get to see that side of Knox in the movies where he clearly states that he doesn't like the path people chose for him. All he has is girls problems.

Which is sad considering that he could be so much more

But then we'd have to extend the movie by about 1 hour and that would make it unenjoyable because this movie is perfect because of the pacing they chose. It's fast and yet slow and kinda counts down to Neil's suicide in a way that gets stuck. Because he is one of the main characters and most scenes should be with him. Not with Knox considering if his life expectancy is okay.

So is there any extra scenes in the book?

...yeah no

"But how do we solve this issue with knox's awful storyline?"

Rewrite the book and hope for the best.

Since I'm an author myself I know that writing often gets complicated when your creative streak is gone but since I'm an author I'd solve it this way:

Keep the Chris storyline

Let that boy be problematic, let him make mistakes but not once that deeply traumatises someone like SEXUALLY ASSULTING someone. Knox is the message bringer of the bad side of carpe Diem. Sometimes seizing the day will make things worse because you didn't think it through. That's a great message to bring across, I mean how many 16-year-olds make mistakes that we thought were okay? A lot, and he is the one who made the mistake in the story.

"So how would you change his mistake?"

The storyline reinvented

He meets Chris like usual

Look he didn't fuck up here in the slightest. I too would be stuttering if I met a beautiful girl. And him meeting her through the Danbury clearly shows the problem he has to date Chris. It's classic anyway

Cut the bike scene and use his sister instead

From what I gathered his sister goes to the same school as Chris (can be mistaken but for this story she does! ) so he uses her to kinda pry into Chris's life and find things out. It is problematic if he literally implies stalking her but c'mon, at least someone in the Overstreet family has common sense and only observes in the distance...right? Besides who doesn't use their siblings for their advantages? Plus it brings depth to that mean. Seeing how he treats his sister could indicate his behaviour with people extremely close to him.

Let him attempt the party but be extremely obnoxious

That's what he's best at

His nickname is literally knoxious. But what the hell do I mean by being obnoxious? Let that boy not leave Chris's side. Why? Because that sets up his mistake. Being attached to someone's hip can be extremely uncomfortable and with Chet's provoke able (?) ass this can go wrong fast. (Also we can't forget that Chris is the one being played around like an object in this and this should be his biggest mistake as we do not treat anyone like that, especially women!) But what would be the breaking point for CHRIS and Chet and the thing where he decides that "carpe diem" is good to use (even tho it's not)?

HE DANCES WITH CHRIS

Okay, instead of him being an ass and kissing Chris, he's an ass and dances with her. He was under the influence when he made both decisions which isn't an excuse but something that pushed him towards it. Because Knox in his most sober self wouldn't even talk properly to her.

So, some lame-ass song from the 50s is playing and he grabs her hand. Maybe she danced with someone else and he stole her. Considering that the tension between Chris and Knox is already uncomfortable, this would bring it to the maximum. Chris (as the beautiful woman she is) would try to use this moment to finally talk about his behavior so he lets her go. And the moment he finally talks chet comes in.

This small synopsis is weak but let's be honest, no one would read a whole ass script abt this.

Anyway

Chet comes in, the situation becomes way out of control and the only person getting extremely hurt is Chris. As she was toyed around by Knox and Chet. So she leaves the party prematurely (as she should, take care of yourselves) and Knox returns to Welton with the same bloody nose as in the movie

He goes directly to her house

Him doing so is a direct response to his failure. Between the party and them talking he needs to reflect on his failures and feel genuine guilt. It sucks that he can only do so once he gets punched but at least he has the mind to realise that.

But Chris isn't that easy to talk to. Obviously, this whole thing made her feel weird and sad so she avoided both of them. When he goes up to her house and gets rejected? He talks with Keating.

Mentor Keating

Not only would this solidify his last scene in the movie more but it also gives them a connection more than Keating humiliating him. Okay, but can we fit this into the movie? Not the conversation but he could easily fit it into the scene where he returns to Welton after talking to her.

"What would Keating tell him?"

The same thing he told Neil. Honesty.

Fate decides itself in the decisions you make and Knox knows that lies won't wrap her around his fingers. So maybe honesty carries them to a state where they can be friends.

So his masterplan gets made and it's the most trope-st shit you can think of.

Throwing a rock in the night at her sweet sweet window

Why did I think of this? Well, do you like the scenery of how he originally apologised and made everybody look at her?

At least it's at night so fewer people look and it would show us the skills he earned from sneaking off bc of the poet's meetings. Thus showing the audience more connection to the group. Plus at night people are mostly at their most vulnerable time and it would get Chris to talk.

But what would they talk about?

Considering that he finally saw the wrong parts of his obsession with her, he would give her the space to express her discomfort to its fullest after he of course apologises. But I think Chris wouldn't even express herself to the fullest because she has sympathy for him. She understands that loving someone can make you sick and twisted when you're a teenager but she is still her flesh and mind who clearly didn't want it to cause her relationship to break.

She might not express the worst anger that comes with something like this but she still expressed her sorrow in this mess. And Knox listens and sees the wrong in his actions. He doesn't need to justify himself because no justification could make this play in his favour. And when all is said and done, she forgives him for being so damn obnoxious.

But she doesn't like him in the way Knox wishes her to feel. And knox needs to learn to accept it. Like we all do

The story progresses without knox getting what he wants

Through this whole story he went through, we as viewers get the message that even if you apologise, it's up to the victim of your actions to give you what you want. And throughout the film, I never even got the notion that Chris has an interest in Knox. Hell, they don't even talk that much to build a conclusion on their goddamn relationship before he kissed her. He sets the message of a "Carpe Diem" gone wrong. After that, he is a reminder of us humans and our way of going through those problems you cause.

There are probably better ways of doing his arc, heck give him a different one. I mean he has potential. Maybe he's better off once the group splits or maybe he isn't.

But the way he is in the movie is a horrible portrayal of romance. I get it, the script is from the 80s but c'mon you're allowed to admit that it's bad.

Well, there's nothing we can really do, the movie in itself is an art and should be viewed as it. It fits into the zeitgeist of past generations and our present ones. I love the movie but if I had to change one storyline it would always be Knox oversteet's

Btw can be talk about how stupid his fucking name is? Who names their child Knox? With the last name OVERSTREET

[animeyanderelover]

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, stalking, abduction, manipulation, threats, intimidation

Tags: @leveyani @kanaosprotector

This is fine

Kamado Nezuko

💕​Nezuko's clinginess and atalking tendencies aside, I think the biggest problem you are going to face is her protective brother who, whilst smelling that you have no bad intentions, is still showing a tad bit of caution. Whilst Nezuko is able to tell that her darling is uncomfortable and that her questionable actions play part in it, she is genuinely not able to grasp the full extent of the situation which is why you get more often comforting head pats as if that will help you to calm down. It isn't like Nezuko is very frightening but she is still someone who goes where you go and who even stalks you, even when you are asleep. Admittedly, she is partially quite protective in doing this too. When you do grow more comfortable around her, she senses that and whilst she may not be able to detect what exactly happened to solve the problem of your feelings, she is happy now that you are feeling happy too and finally stops fussing over you now that there is nothing she feels like she has to worry about.

Kocho Shinobu

🦋​Shinobu of course knows about her obsession but she has done well to hide it behind her sweet facade so far, although eventually all secrets have to be exposed in the face of danger. She is such a little menace with her sweet smile but her threatening aura to the point where you are scared of the woman who knows the one or other thing about poisoning someone. There is always something fake about Shinobu in the way she presents herself which keeps you on your toes. I reckon it is probably when she has the heart to open up to you that your perspective slowly changes as you see a vulnerable and genuine side she hasn't shown you before. Shinobu, as witty and quick-minded as ever, recognises how your feelings start changing and feels happy about it. Yes, she is using that a tiny bit to her advantage but at the same time she starts giving you trust she hasn't given you before. A part of her is still fully committed to poisoning you if you were to try to escape her though.

Rengoku Kyojuro

🔥​It is not common for a man to choose another man as a romantic partner but Kyojuro brushes off all possible criticism with a fierce enthusiasm that scares the people who had to give their comment in the first place. It is that enthusiasm and his sheer determination that is your problem though as Kyojuro has his beliefs that do not waver. He is convinced that your relationship will work, he is determined that he has to protect you as his lover no matter your own status and sometimes all of this can be downright oppressing. It is just exhausting to argue with him because he will never listen to the words that go against his own determination and conviction. So instead of arguing you at one point just embrace the flames of his feelings as you are too tired to fight against him and that is how you start getting used to him and his behavior. Kyojuro himself is highly pleased as he sees that you start seeing his point of view, as optimistic as ever and more loving now that all tension is gone.

Daki

🌺​How can you not love her?! As someone who has been spoiled by her brother and who has always been praised as a beautiful woman, Daki is very entitled as she genuinely believes that you have to love her simply because. The wariness you present her with though is not what she expects and she makes her upset feelings quite clear to you as she insults you, screams at you and throws her temper tantrums where you even get hurt as you are the first man who has not kneeled before her beauty. Accusations and wrong ideas that you do not find her beautiful are in her head and she cries to her brother that she has never been insulted like that before in her life. Honestly, there is no way that the isolation doesn't play a part in your change of heart around Daki. You would do yourself a favor by having that change of heart quick though and in return Daki will do a real 180 as her pride is restored and she feels validated that she can win ever men's heart which then allows her to spoil you and praise you for your adoration.

Kibutsuji Muzan

🩸​What gender you are honestly doesn't matter because Muzan will still discriminate against you simply for being a human. He doesn't tolerate anything but obedience and fear in everyone he faces so of course you have to displease him straight away. Human, know your place. He is cruel and terrible but he believes that he has the right to do so due to his own god complex so you get little to no mercy whenever you anger him in any way and as you find out pretty soon, he has a terrible temper. I call Stockholm Syndrome because with the way he treats you, there is no way you would fall willingly in love. Muzan has disciplined and trained you to behave properly after all because your previous behavior was intolerable in his eyes. I'm not saying that he treats you good after his training but he treats you somewhat better for as long as you show him the respect he believes he deserves. Then you may get some praise from his side and more affection as you now know how to behave in his presence.

[thatfreshi]

"Light-Headed"

A short sequel to "Undeserving," commissioned by @mosshugs

(Please note that the original piece dealt heavily with disordered eating behaviors and that this one is similar, but a happy ending <3)

It’s been a while since the fall of Cazador, and all your other adventures have come to an end. You’ve settled down since then, Astarion by your side. You stopped counting the days a long time ago, how long it had been since his old master had died. Maybe he stopped counting as well, but you know against your better judgement that he probably hasn’t. Since those times, your group has found new ways of life. Gale has started teaching young wizards, Wyll moved on with Lae’zel to help the army of Baldur’s Gate, and so on. You and Astarion though? You’ve spent a lot of time in your new home, organizing, collecting new trinkets, decorating, building, and overall enjoying having a home. This hasn’t stopped your personal ongoing struggles though.

The two of you have your own issues, things that didn’t end after Cazador died, and things that would probably never end. Especially in Astarion’s case, immortality leaves him with a lot of problems to solve, and a lot of those problems may never have solutions. One morning though, when the two of you are lying in bed, he manages to solve just one debacle. 

“Darling? Are you awake?”

It’s slightly lit, the bedroom, with Astarion on the darker side of the bed. You are awake, having just woken up from a long slumber. Turns out being new homeowners is quite tiresome, leaving the two of you with much rest to catch up on. 

“Yes, I am awake. Sadly.”

It seems a though shuteye is never enough these days, especially afte trying to catch up on all the missed sleep on your journey.

“I thought… and only if you’d want to of course, that we could try feeding again? I don’t know what it is but today, I feel better than normal. As if this pang of hunger is somehow, more delicate than it usually feels.”

You barely spoke about his feeding habits, but it has been quite difficult for him to find energy with his lack of drinking from you. You try every now again to let him drink your blood, but it never seems quite right. Even with Cazaor gone, the wounds are still there. It seems like maybe, some of them will always be there, no matter how hard either of you try.

“Of course my love, always.”

A common response on your end, one that he quite likes. It’s nice for him to know that there is always a source of food for him, that scarcity is no longer in existence. Security, what a luxury that should only be a necessity. 

Somewhere in the middle of your thoughts, you feel a sharp pain in your neck. This process must have happened over a hundred times by now, so you’re used to the cold, the sting, and all of those fun metaphors people use in reference to vampire bites. While you’re thinking though, trying not to put any pressure on him, you ponder what is on the agenda today. There’s still much to be done, many more pieces of furniture to procure, a garden to start outside…

And after a while of listing things off in your head, you realize that for the first time in a long time, you’re starting to get light-headed. Soon after, he releases from your throat, and there’s a sense of joy in your dizzy state. You try not to make a big deal out of it, considering you don’t want to scare him with some big gesture or make it seem like a successful feeding is abnormal, but he’s the one to outwardly express it first. When you lock eyes with him, he’s actually tearing up a little.

“That was… good. It was good for once.”

“It was?”

“Yes.”

And that response brings down the dam, and he fully begins to cry. This isn’t something you see from him often, but this issue with him being unable to feed has been plaguing the two of you for months. You find yourself soon crying along with him.

“How do you feel?”

“I don’t know. Strong? Peaceful? Not like I should be punished?”

That word pangs in your chest, ‘punished,’ as if he should ever be punished for sustenance. Sadly, you know that reality was all too real in the past.

“Good. You should feel strong, because you are.”

He takes one of your hands in both of his.

“Thank you my dear. Maybe I’m stronger than I thought I was.”

Is every other feeding from then on perfect? No, of course not. Healing is never quite as linear as we would like it to be, and it certainly isn’t as pretty either. There are horrible moments in the future, but also grand ones, ones like these that pull at your heartstrings and remind you why you ever fell in love. And slowly, day by day, the grand moments outweigh the horrible ones, and your dear Aster becomes better and better because of it, and the two of you become better because of each other.

[cringesatan]

thoughts on towa and madarame's relationship and "likeliness", victimhood and slow damage's theme (currently at 60 hours of gameplay, about to finish madarame's route)

so madarame keeps saying he and towa are "the same", and sure, they somewhat match each other's need and viewpoint on violence, but i wouldn't say they're the same. in fact, it seems like he and towa are the exact opposite of each other, in fact. what they have in common - operating on instinct, the need for violence - both takes them and comes from very different places. towa's need for violence comes from a place of deep self hatred, and to anyone who has experienced that level of self hatred - especially one drive from sexual trauma - knows how deeply ingrained it gets and how it turns you so twisted you start experiencing the self hatred as a good thing. we see it when he gets hurt, and we see it during sex, towa feels good and gets off on being treated like scum, of being hurt, of being abused. its a sense of deserving, almost, like a "reward", in a way. euphoria, as much as it is an artistic movement, is also an elaborated excuse for towa to receive the punishment-reward he deeply feels like he deserves, its a way to experience the root of his trauma, over and over again: being an outlet for someone else, an object of pleasure, not necessarily sexual, as rape is not necessarily sexual, but of power, of desire, of the need for control, and for indulging. towa used to live on edge, back in his mafia days, his traumatic episode was never really over until the fight that killed his brother. once he adjusted to a somewhat happy, comfortable life, that's when he started to "heal", in a sense, but let a traumatized person heal on their own and watch them incessantly try to relive their trauma, over and over, am i right?

a lot of times traumatized people are drawn to their trauma, and towa, of course, much rather say he has a taste for violence, rather than admit he is a deeply traumatized individual. slow damage is, at its core, a read on the many facets of victimhood.

on the other side of the spectrum of victimhood, dare i say on the complete opposite side, we have madarame. madarame wants violence because inflicting violence is all he ever knew. it solved all his problems, and violence was, too, the root of all his problems. madarame is perpetually stuck in a cycle of violence, and he feels entitled to inflicting it as much as he feels obligated to. he and towa both romanticize their issues so they can ignore and deny the fact that they are, too, victims. madarame couldn't possibly be a victim, ever, if he is always "in control", right? if he is the one punching, if he is the one going after the fight, if he is the one winning the fight, he must always be the perpetrator, never the victim, never again. if he is calm and composed, if he doesn't give way for his own thoughts to get under his skin, then it doesn't bother him. it is the same for towa - when he says he is attracted to violence, when he convinces himself he enjoys the pain, he enjoys the abuse, when he seeks it out himself, then it isn't that he's a victim, it's that he's getting what he wants. he takes control by convincing himself the abuse is what he always wanted, like a kid who loses their toy and says "i didn't want it, anyway". towa and madarame would do anything before acknowledging they might need help, but in that sense, the strategy they choose for their mental gymnastics are directly opposed. comfort in inflicting violence, and comfort in receiving it. that is precisely why they work together.

what makes madarame and towa "soulmates" is both a combination of what makes them different and what makes them equal. the denial of their trauma and their view of themselves, the violence and the vessel, the boxer and the punching bag. if i were to point a character that is truly "equal" to towa, I'd point ikuina, and that is why towa shows such a small, fleeting interest for ikuina, especially in madarame's route. ikuina wants to be violent as much as he wants the violence done to him, he wants to drown in it, he is fascinated by it and willing to inflict it upon himself directly, as much as towa is. they crave it, are addicted to the violence, but especially addicted to the pain, on both a sexual and psychological level. ikuina's trauma is related to violence in a way that made him view himself like towa views himself, not only as a carrier for violence, but mostly as deserving of violence, like a deeply religious person thinks themselves deserving of divine punishment, it is, in their eyes, a reward just as much.

but to towa, that isn't what fulfills him. he doesn't want another to share his desire for abuse, because he doesn't want to abuse, not really. what towa wants - and here we're not really talking about towa, the person, but rather his subconscious, his instinct built on his traumatic experiences, not his rational self, not his personality exactly, but a much deeper force inside him, one he never really learned or even had the chance to learn how to deal with, and so made it part of who he is, or believes he is: his ptsd - what he wants is someone willing to abuse him, someone who both cares for him and is willing to abuse him, that is the dream of anyone seeking self destruction, but who isn't necessarily suicidal, which is towa's case. as much as he denies it, as much as he despises it, he hates it precisely because he knows its true: he does want to be madarame's pet. he wants someone who will give him what he wants, someone who will take responsibility for him, someone to hurt him and dress his wounds, so that he doesn't have to do it himself, to himself. that is towa's euphoria, as it is, in a way, anyone's euphoria, to relive their trauma, or a crucial part of it. for towa, it is being abused, being cut and raped, and not have to seek it himself. it is having it done to him, like the first time, like the times before, and mostly - by someone he trusted.

and madarame, he of course loves towa, in his own twisted idea of love, and a pet is exactly what he wants, too. because inflicting violence is his penitence, the only way he could ever love another is by showering them with violence. it is not that he's abusive, or toxic, not in his eyes, because to him, violence is beautiful - and that is what made him fall in love with towa, because that's what towa understands. violence is beautiful, both inflicting it and receiving it. it is a recurring theme in slow damage as a whole, of course, the damage, obviously, of violence, but especially the beauty of it. every character believes violence to be beautiful in their own way, maybe not as obvious as towa and madarame, but we have the minor euphoria models, we have characters like taku and rei, a doctor and a body modification professional, who are at their core also deeply related to violence, to pain, in order to heal, in order to turn into art. we have toono and sakaki, who we can say are the main "antagonists", in slow damage, who, despite being deeply connected to violence, also despise it. sakaki believes it to be a necessary evil for the greater good, and toono sees it as merely a tool. in most instances where towa's scars are brought up, words like artwork, body art, uniqueness, are brought up, except for when toono brings them up. what paints toono as a villain in slow damage is not his acts and much less his moral compass, but rather his refusal to accept violence, to embrace it, to find it beautiful.

i guess I'd say that is the main point "slow damage" wants to come across with, after about 60 hours playing it. from the roots of shinkoumi, the city itself fueled by violence, to the thing that gives purpose and fleshes out each of the side characters - and that could be another rant of its own entirely

[mageknight14]

The Dangers and Flaws of Idolization: A NEO TWEWY analysis post

Transplanting and expanding on a thread I made on Twitter to fit within a Tumblr format.

One of the most interesting aspects I see in NEO TWEWY that I don’t see many people touch upon is the commonality between Rindo, Fret, and Shoka in how they look up to others as role models while simultaneously being blind to their flaws/who they actually are up to the end and how the game's themes are reflected in those relationships and today, I'd like to showcase why.

First, we have Rindo and Motoi. With that relationship, the game makes it pretty clear that Rindo looked up to Motoi as An0ther and used his words as encouragement to get through his own daily life and anxiety. The kid could barely decide what he could even eat for dinner before he had come across the account, so if you thought his current indecisiveness nature was bad, he was even worse before the events of the game.

However, what I find interesting is that even though he constantly spouts An0ther's sayings in an attempt to try and steel himself for the challenges he faces, he thoughtlessly does so and only lives by the sayings half-heartedly, since his indecisive nature and fear of responsibility prevent him from committing all the way. I think it's telling that despite claiming that "don't miss your chance to make a friend" is one of his favorite quotes, he's constantly at odds with the idea of bringing potentially new players on board the team even before he gets the chance to properly know/meet them and grimaces at the thought of the structure of the old Reaper's Game in the original.

Keep in mind that Beat saved Rindo's life at the hands of Susukichi at least two whole days ago before this occurrence.

Nagi’s Dive into his head on W1D3 actually does a LOT to reveal aspects of his character: he puts other people at arm’s length (besides Swallow due to their online anonymity) because he’s afraid of the fallout of what would to happen if he got involved with them.

"What if I end up taking on more than I can handle? What if other people end up dragging me down with them? If I just stay at the sidelines and shift the blame onto others, I won’t get into trouble for this."

"I'm in a group project; everybody is contributing and making decisions about how we should go about doing things. I keep my mouth shut and refrain from pitching in despite maybe thinking some of their ideas misses the point of the assignment, because God forbid my ideas could be helpful (or maybe they won't; that's life, but I won't know unless i speak up). We end up handing in our project and whoops, we got a C-. I guess I'm not responsible for receiving that grade because I never made a decision, therefore I shouldn't be accountable for my lack of contribution. It just makes sense."

If you've known/are a person that have had similar thoughts to this mindset, then congrats; you know/are a Rindo Kanade in real life.

This culminates into him latching onto others he finds capable and taking the relationships around him for granted, tying other people's worth to their prowess in might or influence. After all, why bother relying on yourself and others when you can just rely on someone else for you to solve your problems? Especially since it means that if everything goes south, YOU won’t take the fallout for it. After all, they’re clearly much more capable than you are.

To get back to his dynamic with Motoi, Rindo looks up to him immensely after finding out that he was his idol an0ther and came to value his input regarding matters within the Game. So when he eventually finds out the truth and is forced to confront the fact that his hero was nothing more than a content thief and a schemer who would trample over others just to survive, he’s understandably heartbroken.

However, instead of just leaving it there, the game decides to flip the script and have Motoi legitimately apologize to Rindo for his actions, leading to the lad in question learning to recognize that Motoi is ultimately an incredibly flawed human being instead of just writing him off entirely, (even giving him another chance!) and is, in many ways, a mirror to Rindo. Like Rindo, Motoi was deathly afraid of responsibility and the fallout of letting other people down, leading to him copying and pasting other people's quotes so that he wouldn't have to face that possibility. This aspect of himself only got worse when he got trapped in the Reaper's Game for multiple loops on end, forcing him to become a worse version of himself, lying, cheating, and backstabbing just to survive and even looking towards becoming part of the Reapers, the same group that trapped him there in the first place, just so he wouldn't have to be Erased, un a manner that's eerily reminiscent to how Rindo would took towards overly relying on others so that he would make it out okay. In that sense, Motoi is a look at what a grown-up Rindo would look like if he didn't take the lessons he learned within the Game to heart, which is part of why the latter decides to take Motoi’s copypasted quotes and apply them to his life in a positive way, deriving his own meaning from them so that in a way that contrasts him following them in a shallow manner from before.

Next up, we have Fret and Kanon, who form a interesting parallel to Rindo and Motoi's dynamic. Whereas Motoi is a look at one of the worst possible paths that Rindo could take if he didn't learn how to properly deal with his flaws, Kanon actually tries to coach Fret into becoming more true to and genuine with his actual self. She also shows herself to be a genuinely affable and honorable person even in spite of the bad first impression that she had given at the beginning of the game by stealing Rindo and Fret's pin for herself.

However, that's only the surface level stuff, as the game actually goes deeper with her character. While Kanon at first seems to be true to herself and genuine at her core in a way that Fret isn’t, we can see from the Dive into her head on W3D3 that she’s holding back a LOT underneath the surface.

"You always did have a way of destroying things" tends to get glossed over by some and for those who do look at the words, they seemingly come out of nowhere and can be seemingly brushed off as her just being under the influence of the Plague Noise. However , when you look back at some of Kanon’s actions and her words towards the Twisters (accusing the Twisters of sabotaging Fuya and making Motoi drop out of the Scramble Slam against his will, her mood changing when she finds out about Fuya challenging the Ruinbringers in one timeline as opposed to her more cheerful attitude towards Fret when she didn't find that out just yet, her acting suspicious towards the Twisters regarding their prowess as a team, etc), the implication is that she doesn’t just resent the game as a whole but also secretly the Twisters as well.

The thing about the Player teams is that they have formed an unspoken agreement where the top 3 teams (sans Ruinbringers of course) keep their footing by sending new players and other teams to last place, which the Wicked Twisters screw up just by existing. Their synergy and impressive Imagination powers (well, Fret, Nagi, and Sho’s at least) threaten the balance the teams have struggled to keep up for so long, hence why Kanon initially just sees them as another team to point snipe before she changes her mind on them. And while the Twisters do almost bring about change by beating the Ruinbringers, it ultimately doesn’t even matter in the long-run due to how incredibly rigged the Shinjuku game is and as a result, the DRS are eliminated, getting rid of Kanon’s and Motoi’s safety net.

Imagine this from the players’ perspective: you’re stuck in essentially what is a never-ending death game but you’ve got a system going where you can at least stave off your deaths for a bit longer. Then a couple of kids come around and throw that whole system entirely out of whack. And you think, "well, at least they can take out the top team and give us a fighting chance, right?" Only for those hopes to also get dashed because the rules are just that rigged. Like Kubo said, life ain’t fair and the afterlife sure as hell ain’t either. W1D5 and W2D4 are excellent explorations of this kind of mindset as it showcases the player teams falling victim to their desires and abusing their powers as a result of being stuck in an endless loop of playing the Game over and over again with no hope of escaping, as well as highlights paints certain comments made by the leaders in an even darker light.

With all of this in mind, it’s honestly no wonder that Kanon resents the Twisters but what’s interesting is that she tries to keep this resentment under wraps because she knows that it isn’t fair to them. They’re just kids after all who would have no idea about all of that. Hence why she admonishes herself in her Dive for wishing that they had just wipe out the Reapers altogether and why Fret is shown to be hurt hearing her inner thoughts about the Twisters in a way that’s pretty reminiscent of Rindo’s reaction when he found out about Motoi.

And finally, we have Shoka and Ayano. While it’s pretty clear that the two do genuinely care for one another, it’s a relationship that’s been tragically scarred by the events surrounding Shinjuku and the Reapers in general, resulting in a mutually unhealthy dynamic. 

What I find interesting about the relationship is that while Shoka gets pissed whenever Rindo insinuates that Ayano must’ve treated her badly, she sadly realizes in another convo that she doesn’t know much about Ayano on a personal level or what her interests even are.

In spite of how close they are and how much they mean to each other, Ayano still put up emotional walls and closed herself off, never allowing herself to be on equal footing to Shoka and instead just be someone who guides and mentors her over the 4 years they were together.

This is due to her feeling betrayed by Shiba/others while simultaneously using Shoka as her one stable point in life regardless because everything is going up into chaos surrounding the Shinjuku Reapers and she finds herself unable to trust anyone around her anymore. And Shoka herself doesn't even realize this until the end when it’s too late because she was just happy to simply have Ayano by her side without thinking deeper about her and their relationship as a whole due to her own emotional issues and troubled past.

When it comes to children from broken homes, they are prone to imprinting on any adult figure that interacts positively with them and in Shoka's case, this is exactly what she did with the Shinjuku Reapers, especially Ayano.

A running theme throughout all of these instances is how they all involve the younger generation looking up to the adults in their lives as idols as opposed to just role models and thus fail to see them for who they are as actual human beings. And by the time they that finally do, it's too late for the adults.

You also see nods towards this theme via the Shinjuku Reapers and their relationship with Shiba or Shiba’s (who himself is parallel to Rindo if his tendency to subconsciously take on the values of others and mistake his as his own was twisted into the worst possible outcome) relationship with Kubo, with Hishima even flat out stating as such. "You fell at the feet of an idol like an utter fool", indeed.

And this all fits, as well, into NEO's larger theme that even as a 'follower', you have to question the 'leader'. Role models aren't bad -- but idols and failing to recognize their limits/flaws/toxicity are and will end up screwing you over in the long run if you aren’t careful. And I think NEO did an excellent job at exploring the little nuances that come with that, from Kanon’s internal resentment she knew wasn’t fair to the unseen distance between Ayano and Shoka to Motoi being a complete deconstruction of it all. It shows the good and the bad of idolizing someone too much. It shows how you can see the real them and turn the image you liked into something more with Rindo, or how to hold them in your heart while moving on like Shoka. It's okay to acknowledge the flaws and shortcomings of the people you look up to. Hell, it’s probably healthy to do that in some ways. As long as they’re still a good person or even helped you grow, you can still celebrate the good they brought