#it’s like a socially awkward ‘same hat!!’ situation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

01zfan · 6 months ago

Text

confident | j. sc

boyfriend!sungchan x reader | 7.3k words

this is in the anything 4 u verse but it is NOT part three. this happens before the series!

contains: dom/sub dynamics, cum eating, this is kinda filthy LMFAO

anything 4 u: confident | one | two

your unwavering confidence bordered on arrogance and was so palpable that people called you all the names to match. brash, overconfident, cocky, presumptuous. sungchan knew that peoples words about your personality only further solidified the notion in your brain that you were the shit.

sungchan believed it was all an act at first. he knew you when you were meek, never letting your personality show to anyone besides him and shotaro. sungchan remembered when you were all limbs, growing into your face, and perpetually awkward. he knew what you were because he was the same way, just lanky and uncoordinated stumbling through every social situation. but somewhere along the way you started acting like you had unwavering confidence. you stood a little taller, spoke a little louder, and focused on looking people in the eyes.

you had gotten so used to putting on the mask that it became a part of you. it wasn’t a bad thing, your confidence made you stand out and go for things you wanted in life. you made connections and boldly made friends, and advocated for yourself. he saw the way you tricked your mind into being cocky until that’s what you became and he respected you for it. sungchan even envied your ability to turn on your charm at the drop of the hat. you could be scowling one moment and then all smiles and alluring the next—it was no mystery how you were able to get people to kiss your feet so easily.

sungchan was a victim to your charm. he was able to admit that he was powerless against your pouty voice and pleading eyes when you wanted something. but he was able to convince himself he was different from everyone else. he was different because he was one of the few people in your life that saw your personality change from a nervous teenager to a confident young woman in realtime. he was also different because he was the only person who could make you realize your unwavering confidence put you in situations where you bit off more than you could chew.

that’s why sungchan laid on his bed with his hand behind his head as he video called you. it was deep into the night, but he was wide awake. the adrenaline rush from turning in a group project buzzed in his mind, and reading your compromising texts from the past week kept him alert.

you had fully taken advantage of the fact that sungchan was predisposed for his group assignment. he couldn’t hang out with you due to having to devote all of his time into the final project that was worth a bulk of his grade. you understood, so you let your boyfriend lock himself away in his dorm and the library but there were moments where you couldn’t handle it.

sometimes your messages would be sweet. you’d send sungchan little anecdotes of your day or send him pictures of things you saw that reminded you of him. sometimes it manifested in a quick text while you were walking to class, looking down at your screen and typing away instead of trying to avoid running into people.

sometimes the messages would be abrupt. a few times it was sungchan texting you at odd periods of the day saying that he needed to see you. he treated you as a little pick me up, asking you nicely if you could come by his building just so he could see your face and give you a quick peck on the lips.

anytime sungchan would send you a text even remotely needing anything in the drop of a hat he’d get a picture of you outside his building. if he needed to see you he’d get a picture of you outside the bench of his dormitory by yourself and if he asked for food it would be a selfie of you with a bag of takeout clutched in your hand.

you didn’t know how to describe your sudden need to do everything for sungchcan. maybe it was because he did such a good job of taking care of you, even if it came at the expense of his own comfort. there were moments in your relationship where you didn’t know why sungchan was so doting, why he acted the way he did—why would he be outside your dormitory building the moment you told him you were bored or why he’d offer to drive you anywhere you wanted to go. but when you saw sungchan come out of his building for the first time with his eyes wide from surprise you understood. just hearing the words thank you baby fall from sungchan’s smiling lips made you want to do anything for him. you couldn’t equate the feeling you got from sungchan bringing you in for a grateful hug to anything else. it was something like adrenaline and pride starting in your heart and working its way up to your head before spreading across your shoulders. the ability to take care of someone who so earnestly took care of others made your back straighten and gave you even more of that dangerous confidence.

the fact that sungchan had to reluctantly leave almost as soon as you saw him did anything but help. almost immediately after you handed him the food or gave him a peck on the lips he was heading back up to work. you also had to become the responsible one, denying sungchan’s silent attempts to get you to come back up to his room with him. you knew that you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from distracting sungchan from his work, and that he wouldn’t stop you either.

you seemed to enjoy taking care of him so much and sungchan let himself enjoy it too, he saw it as a privilege to be doted on by you. so he humored the worried texts about getting enough sleep and he even texted you a few times that he was hungry just to see what you’d do. he was indulging himself in being spoiled by you. sungchan couldn’t stop his big toothy grin when he felt you become him overnight. now it was you kissing sungchan goodnight before he retreated back to his dorm, it was you slipping your hand into the back pocket of his jeans when you two would go on walks, and it was you bringing him in closer by his waist when you two would kiss.

one of the few things that was still sungchan’s was the job of compromising texts—something he took great pride in. he had mastered the art of keeping a straight face in public while sending you teasing and flirtatious texts about he was going to do to you when you two were alone. he could be talking to his friends in the dining hall and text you under the table that he missed the way you felt around him without missing a beat in the conversation. sometimes he would send them when you didn’t expect it. at a party while you were dancing with your friends, at dinner while he was sitting on the other side of shotaro. sungchan remembers vividly walking into the library and seeing you already there, sitting at an empty table with your back facing him. he smiled at your focused state, how you slightly nodded to the music in your wired headphones. he leaned against the wall, letting his fingers do all the work while he focused on your upwards facing phone and your hunched body working away on an assignment. when the text was sent sungchan smiled and waited, watching your hand absentmindedly reach for your lit up phone while he tucked his away. he liked being able to tell the exact moment you read his text, if you’d be able to stay quiet deep in the corner of the library in between the rows of dusty books. he took pride in seeing your head quickly dart around the room to see where he was.

the combination of not being able to see sungchan for longer than five minutes at a time and your newfound confidence of taking care of him made you bolder than usual. that’s why deep in the night when you missed your boyfriend in other ways your texts would become exponentially impure. you thought about how cruel it was to have sungchan so far away from you when all you wanted was to be with him. the project unfairly came in your relationship where sex was new and the two of you were figuring everything out about eachother. you always thought the urge to live underneath sungchan’s skin was bad, but after he touched you for the first time it was getting harder and harder control yourself. when you pulled him close by the legs wrapped around his waist for the first time you became insatiable. just as you started to get used to the feeling of his sweaty chest pressed against yours he was gone, keeping himself under lock and key to finish the semester successfully.

maybe it was because the roles were reversed, how you were the one servicing sungchan all week. the fact that you were doting on him and asking how his day was and if he ate made gave you think you were him. not being able to see him made you needy, and being needy combined with the fact that it was late at night and your boyfriend wasn’t touching you all over made you insatiable. the only way you could attempt to comprehend how you felt was venting out all your sexual frustrations in your boyfriends messages. so every night, almost like clockwork, you would fall apart and text sungchan every step of the way.

the first time sungchan received a text from you his eyes almost bulged out of his head. he had perfected his texts over time, finding the perfect balance between sexting and non-assuming teasing. you were different—you skipped through the double entendres and beating around the bush and went straight for the kill, telling him how badly you missed backshots. sungchan made the mistake of sending you three question marks immediately, because you sent back a list of everything else you missed back. he was distracted for the rest of the night, rereading every bullet point while his work was staring at him on his dimming laptop screen.

sungchan quickly found out you didn’t know what to do with the power of texting. he knew that being behind a screen gave you the confidence to tell him such lewd things. although you were confident, and that was something no one could ever take away from you, you were weak for him. sungchan took it as a compliment, how you couldn’t keep eye contact for too long or how you would smile slightly thinking he couldn’t see it. he could see the way you got the nervous jitters around him and how you were still hesitant to ask him for favors. in the bedroom your shy habits only increased tenfold. you had the disgustingly cute habit of hiding in the crook of sungchan’s neck or screwing your eyes shut when he would look at you. sungchan found it to be a pleasant surprise how you were during the act, making every time he had you in bed a battle. one side of him wanted to coax you to become more comfortable, but the other side wanted to force you to look him in the eyes as he mocked you for being so submissive. you were nothing like the fiery, confident, and smug girl in the bedroom. you were full of please’s and thank you’s and whimpers about how good everything felt.

sungchan knew that you knew how shy you were. so he was surprised when he read your text message on the following night talking about how you badly you wanted to ride him. suddenly the girl that only spoke when spoken too in bed was declaring that she would make him beg for it.

each sexual promise or confession of your lewd desire sungchan would send you back an equally desperate text. he imagined you smiling to yourself on the other side of the screen, completely unaware of what you were getting yourself into. he let the tension build up, he let you get bold due to the academic obligations keeping the two of your apart.

when sungchan finally submitted the assignment he learned back in his desk chair. he let out a heavy sigh, stretching his limbs out so far that he heard the satisfying crack of his bones. he grabbed his phone to send the official text to his group that the project was turned in and they had a presentation in a week. like the whole duration of the project, all he received was a thumbs up from one person and silence from everyone else. he would have the time to complain about how awful his partners were later, right now he had more important things to tend to. right as he sent the text your name appeared right on schedule, another compromising thing in the message preview.

i need you to nut on my face😕

sungchan laughed to himself seeing that one. tacking an emoji to something so unhinged made sungchan almost send you something equally unhinged back. but he realized that he had all the time in the world now, and you had completed your assignments for the week already.

so he leaned against the headboard of his bed, hoodie on as he pulled up your contact. he debated on texting you, telling you that he finished the project early. he thought about calling you and letting you hear the tone in his voice when he asked to come over. but sungchan thought about what you were doing right now, laying in bed watching your television shows as you sent him dirty texts. he wondered if you were wearing that cute pink pajama set he bought you on a whim last time you were out. sungchan decided he needed to see your face, even if it was trapped in the flat dimensions of his phone. when he saw the infamous three gray bubbles appear at the bottom of the chat sungchan wasted no more time and pressed the option to video call you.

while your video call was ringing, sungchan settled more into the bed. he spread his legs, and tucked one of his hands behind his head to show you his arms. he didn’t have a project to worry about anymore and he already felt the stress melting away as he thought about himself becoming your biggest problem tonight. he had your messages pulled up in the background, all the nasty promises you made the entire week.

you answered on the final ring, camera close to your face as you laid in bed. he couldn’t stop himself from smiling as you pulled the camera closer to your face.

“what’s wrong” you asked first.

“can i come over?” sungchan asked.

he didn’t want to beat around the bush. he was impatient and spent the whole week apart. sungchan watched your eyes widen. you adjusted yourself in the screen of his phone.

“you’re done with your project already?” you asked.

sungchan tightened the grip he had on his phone hearing the nervous twinge to your voice.

“just turned it in.” he said.

sungchan watched you on his screen silently nod. he could practically see all the text messages you sent over the course of the week run through your head. you were already frazzled, and sungchan had to move out of frame so you wouldn’t see his smile. once he composed himself he returned back to frame.

“so can i?” sungchan asked again.

“yeah. just text me when you’re outside.” you said.

almost immediately after getting your confirmation, sungchan hung up on you. he made sure to text you see you soon, smiling at the direct reply to your last filthy text. sungchan was quick packing his overnight bag, stuffing his toiletries in his backpack before heading out the door.

when sungchan was halfway to your building, he realized that this was the longest he had been outside in the past week. the only time he spent outside was to go to the library or to class. each time the outdoors seemed overbearing, the only thing he could think about was getting inside of the air conditioned buildings to work on his project. but as he walked across campus to you everything seemed to be better. he walked briskly but had a pep in his step. he listened to the cicadas chirping while he reread all your messages with a smile on his face. sungchan didn’t even care about the humid heat that made his skin feel sticky. he felt like it was a perfect night when he made it outside your building, looking up at the pale brick building to locate your floor. sungchan was able to send the message without even having to look at his phone.

i’m outside. back entrance.

sungchan’s message stared back at him without being read. he let a minute pass, kicking rocks underneath his feet as he waited underneath the singular light. sungchan debated on coming through the front entrance, sneaking in behind the steady stream of girls that were heading in and out. but sungchan knew that would only lead to you getting in trouble for sneaking in a man into the all girls dormitory. because of the no boys policy, you found yourself at sungchan’s place more often than he was at yours. he almost invited you to his place, but he remembered that you specifically mentioned fucking him in your dorm on top of your bed. so he gladly settled for waiting outside the designated sneak-someone-in entrance while mosquitoes circled him like sharks. he even made himself look relaxed, leaning against the brick of the building when you opened the door.

you only opened the door a crack, peaking through hesitantly like you were making sure sungchan was really there. he opened the door the rest of the way by an intentional hand that was placed on top of yours.

sungchan noticed that when he closed the door you refused all eye contact. you shyly scratched at your face, muttering a distracted hi underneath your breath and placing a quick peck on his lips. you turned on your heel almost immediately, quietly walking down the halls of your building while sungchan trailed a little too close behind. he was tempted to put a hand on your lower back just to tease you, but he settled for lengthening his strides so you had to walk a little faster.

sungchan followed behind you the same way you always did with him. he caught you peaking over your shoulder when you two would turn the corner before quickly looking forward again. sungchan had to bite his lip and keep his head down to stop himself from laughing at the nervous look breaking through your facade. even if you knew the way to your room you still hesitated with each step, motioning to your door like he didn’t know which room was yours. you focused all your attention on putting your key into the lock, and sungchan purposely took a step forward to cage you between him and the door.

“i like your nails.” sungchan leaned his head down way too close, acting like he was looking at your nails while lowering his voice. “when did you get them done?” he asked innocently.

“a couple days ago.” you said quietly, pushing open the door.

you opened it quickly, and sungchan was grateful the sound of the hinges covered up his breathy chuckle. while he turned to face the door to regain his composure he heard you quickly take off your shoes go deeper into your dorm to create distance from him.

when sungchan turned back around he put on his best un-assuming face, having to bite his lip again at another sight. even though you made your desperation known through text sungchan had no outlet. working on his project gave him no time, and the idea of touching himself didn’t hold a candle to you. he let himself indulge in you once again, how you stood in front of him so pretty in your pink pajama set with your eyes wide as saucers. he wanted to close the space and pick you up like you weighed nothing, he wanted to lean you against the wall in your entryway and make up for lost time then and there. but he kept calm as he recalled how confident you were in your abilities to manhandle him over text.

you weren’t the type to shy away from sungchan’s gaze. most of the times you challenged it, making it a game to match the intensity. when you were kids and he would glare you would glare right back, even adding waving your hand in annoyance to raise the stakes. you matched his flirting looks, when he lowered his eyelids you’d do the same. but now, as sungchan looked down at you from his spot beside the door you found yourself looking away. he seemed bigger in the context of your room for some reason. even though you had seen sungchan nearly everyday for as long as you could remember he looked so much stronger than the man you were teasing for the past week.

the severity of your texts flashed across your mind but you couldn’t bring yourself to admit defeat just yet. so you cleared your throat and motioned to sungchan to come deeper into your room.

“make yourself comfortable.” you said.

sungchan’s gaze went back to normal in an instant, he bounced from his place in your entry way to walk past you.

“such a good host.” he said.

he wasted no time throwing his overnight bag on your office chair and sitting on the edge of your bed. he watched you with a smile on his face, how you purposely left his line of sight to retreat to your mini fridge.

“do you want anything?” you asked.

sungchan hummed, fully extending his legs and swaying his feet on the ground. he took a page from your playbook, pulling the same move you pulled on him when he’d beat around the bush.

“i want you to come over here.” sungchan said.

almost instantly he heard your movements in the fridge cease, and you came back into his line of sight as you walked to him. sungchan spread out his outstretched legs as you came closer and you slot yourself between them. you were quiet, waiting for sungchan to say something first. he let his hands hold on the back of your thighs and he pulled you in, forcing your timid feet to step forward until your legs pressed into the bed. sungchan creeped his hands down to your knees and back up. he repeated the motion until you put your hands on his shoulders and started smoothing out the fabric of his hoodie.

sungchan drew his feet in, and went from looking at your stomach to looking you in the eyes. he felt your hands on his shoulders hesitate for a moment before going back to their ministrations.

“you gonna do all that stuff you said over the phone?” sungchan asked it calmly, smiling when he saw your lips part in shock.

you nodded your head quickly, eyes still wide at his bluntness. sungchan saw you notice the anxiety resting on your features because you cleared your throat and moved your hands to sungchan’s to pry them off of you. he listened immediately, bringing his hands down to the edge of your bed to hold onto it. sungchan saw the look of determination and the way you furrowed your eyebrows to try and seem domineering. he humored you, sitting completely still as he waited for you to tell him what to do.

“take your jacket off.” you said hesitantly.

sungchan smiled and nodded, bringing his hands to slowly untie the drawstring of his sweats. you still stood in front of him, completely frozen as he gave you a show. sungchan couldn’t remember the last time you were so quiet.

when the drawstring of his sweats were undone, sungchan went to his hoodie and pulled the zipper down. he was slow, letting the sound of the metal teeth unzipping fill the room. your eyes were already becoming glassy before him, and he almost felt pity for you. he rationalized his enjoyment by telling himself it was for your own good, that you should’ve be so cocky. words are nothing if you don’t have the power to back them up. so sungchan slowly takes off his hoodie and throws it to the side, leaving him in loose sweats that barely hug his waist.

sungchan can tell you got another wave of confidence from the way you pushed him to the bed. he could say honestly the sudden pressure from your hands on his shoulders took him by surprise. his back his your bed with a dull thud, and within seconds you were crawling on him. sungchan quickly put his hand on your ass and used the other to get further on the bed. you followed his every move and pressed your lips to his neck. sungchan immediately felt you suck on the skin, and you teased the sensitive area with your teeth.

you two were tumbling messes on top of your sheets. while sungchan tried moving further onto the bed you were only focused on feeling every part of him. your artificial nails scraped his abs, and your other hand suddenly went to the bed to give you both stability. when sungchan tried slipping his hand that was on your ass underneath the fabric of your sleeping shorts you smacked it away.

he rested on the bed fully, looking up at you. you straddled his waist, breathing heavy from your desperation and your attack on his neck. sungchan could already imagine the red angry mark that was going to form in its wake. he was silent watching you, waiting for you to do something else. he experimentally brought his hands to your waist after the silence became overwhelming and you smacked them away again. he let his hands rest beside him on the bed with a hiss and flexed his fingers to distract himself from grabbing at you again.

sungchan was shocked that you so quickly understood what it meant to be dominant. he already felt on edge waiting for what you were going to tell him to do, he even got the urge to beg to touch you. when he parted his lips with a please on the tip of his tongue your hand clutched the wrist of his left hand. you threaded your fingers over the back of his hand and guided it to your body. sungchan thought you would only give him access to the soft skin of your waist, but you guided his hand to your stomach, and then greedily pushed it downwards.

“you know what to do.” you said shuddering.

sungchan needed no more guidance, he instantly pressed his palm flat to your stomach and pushed down past your waistband. sungchan changed the position of his hand to further stick it down your pants. he watched his hand disappear past the waistband of your shorts before he looked up to you for approval. you nodded and lifted your hips slightly from his to give him more room. sungchan took the extra room, he even took the chance to bring his hand back to your ass to lift your hips higher. you let him, leaning forward until you had to keep a hand of the bed beside sungchan’s head to hold yourself upright.

he immediately started working your clit with his index and middle finger. he was impatient, rubbing quick circles to make up for lost time. you didn’t do anything to stop him, and sungchan smiled smugly seeing you lull your head backwards. his hand on your ass gripped harder and he let out a grunt. at sungchan’s noise you came back to your senses, and you grabbed his forearm to get his attention.

“finger me.” you said.

any attempt to add bass to your voice was futile. your tone was whiny, and the same pout you’d get when you were asking for something stretched across your face. but sungchan nodded again and gave you exactly what you wanted. his fingers drifted down from your clit to your core. sungchan used your arousal as lubricant and pushed his digits into you, all the way until he had nothing left to give you.

sungchan alternated between looking at you and his obstructed view of his fingers disappearing into your cunt. he felt you squeeze around him the same time you let out tiny mewls. you were so desperate trying to hold back your sounds, holding onto whatever power trip you were on. sungchan wanted you to give in and submit to him already. he didn’t need anything in your texts anymore, he needed you under moaning loudly with sopping wet eyes. so he gripped your ass a little harder and started guiding your hips backwards on his digits. sungchan looked up at you, how you had your eyes closed in bliss and bit your lip. you were distracted, following sungchan’s guiding hand until you were bringing your hips started going backwards instinctually.

“that’s right.” sungchan didn’t have to move his hand anymore and fully focused on watching you do all the work. “keep going baby.” he cooed.

almost immediately, your hips came to a stop and you pressed your hand flat to sungchan’s chest.

“don’t tell me what to do.” you saiid.

although your voice was still distracted from being touched, your body remained steadfast. you no longer moved your hips back to follow sungchan’s guiding hand. instead you reached into your sleeping shorts and pushed on sungchan’s hand, silently telling him to start fingering you again. he wordlessly fell into his place, working his fingers the same way he always did for you. he withheld teasing remarks when you became sopping wet around his fingers and filled the room with the wet lewd sounds of your cunt. sungchan only silently obeyed, silently hoping that you would get meaner throughout the night.

when he started feeling you get close, you pressed your chest so deep into his sungchan thought he was going to lose his breath. he wrapped his arm around your back, pressing hard just to feel you squirm. you started whimpering in his ear, and sungchan swore he heard a rushed good boy fall from your lips. he drove his fingers into you faster and didn’t stop until you wedged your hand between your bodies to grab his wrist.

“let me—i’m going to ride you.” you said quickly.

sungchan took his hands off of you as you went to one side of his body to take your shorts off. sungchan was faster than you, he even had time to take his condom from his pocket and rip open the packet. he pumped his length a few times watching you impatiently take off your clothes. your set was discarded over the edge of the bed and sungchan successfully put on the rubber, holding his dick upright as you went to straddle his waist again.

you were hesitant lining up his dick at your entrance, sungchan could feel your hole seize around his tip after you slightly lowered your body. he realized then that you had never actually rode him before, it was always sungchan keeping your hips suspended while he drove up into you. sungchan smirked to himself at the realization that you never did any of the work but you still had the nerve to tell him multiple times this week about your determination to ride him. so instead of helping you ease down he put his hands underneath his head, looking up at your knitted eyebrows and your lip caught between your teeth. he reluctantly held back coos encouraging you or telling you how good you felt as you sunk down further and further. he only watched you with a smile on his face as you realized midway you couldn’t handle it. he purposely thrusted his hips upwards slightly, just to hear you let out a squeak.

“don’t stop now.” sungchan smiled.

you didn’t have enough focus to chide sungchan the same way you did before. you were enveloped in trying to take all of him, to ride him the way you promised. sungchan saw his chance to tease you relentlessly and to take back the dominance you tried to claim as yours.

when you took all of sungchan you slowly raised your hips and lowered them again. your palms pressed into his chest for stability as you tried to find a rhythm. you pathetically readjusted your body, changing the position of your knees to find proper angling. sungchan mockingly pouted to your face while your eyes were screwed shut from the effort and stimulation. you pushed your knees higher up on the bed and it finally gave you the ability to start rocking slowly. you whined from the pressure and silently hoped that sungchan would take pity on you. you didn’t realize how hard it was to keep going without sungchan’s hands guiding your body up and down.

“about time.” sungchan took one of his hands from behind his head after you started slowly riding him. he ran his free hand through his hair so he could have a clear view of you falling apart. “took you long enough.” he teased.

hearing the mean edge to sugnchan’s voice made you think he had seen you suffer enough. you thought he had taken back his role as the dominant one in bed, and you could go back to being the one that took it all. so you whined again, and moved your hands from sungchan’s chest so you could press your chest against his. but instead of letting you collapse against him so he could plant his feet into the mattress and fuck up into you, sungchan put his hand on your shoulder to keep you upright. when you stopped moving completely his other hand from behind his head started pinching your burning thighs each time you slowed down or broke your rhythm.

“i thought you said you were going to ride me all night?” sungchan asked.

any rebuttal you had was trapped in your throat. you were weak, not even bothering to smack away sungchan’s fingers that were nipping at your flesh. all you could do was pitifully shake your head and try to fight against sungchan’s hand that was still pressed into your shoulder.

“barely lasted a minute.” sungchan cooed mockingly.

“please.” you were nearly crying, not even knowing what you were asking for.

sungchan couldn’t describe what he felt seeing you finally submit to him. your eyes were becoming more and more wet by the second, and each time he pinched at your thigh you screwed your eyes shut and let out little pitiful sounds. the lesson he was trying to teach you left his mind the same time he let go of the hold on your shoulder. you wasted no time pressing your chest against his and sungchan took even less time bringing his hands to your body. he held onto your waist firmly and planted his feet into the mattress as he lifted your hips.

the desperation and waiting hit him like a freight train the moment your hands gripped his shoulders for stability. his hands went to other parts of your body—your ass, your back, your shoulder blades. sungchan settled on the back of your head and neck, turning your face so you were looking directly at him. he gently kissed your forehead, the complete opposite from his hips that were kissing yours with a rough slap.

“i missed you.” sungchan says it while holding back a grunt. when you only moan in response he presses his face against your sweaty cheek. “what else did you say over the phone again?” he asks.

sungchan feels you shake your head again, and when he feels you draw in a breath in preparation to speak he speeds up. you settle deeper into him and his hand on your back keeps you in place.

“i thought you were gonna make me cry?” he refuses to let up, you are driving him to the brink by your weakening grip and incoherent words. “thought you were gonna do all the work?” he teases.

when sungchan hears you cry out an i will he almost loses it then and there. when you suddenly pull your hips off of sungchan he’s the one that is left a shuddering and whining mess. sungchan watches you quickly clamber off of the bed as you pull at his hand to follow your lead. sungchan is confused at your sudden change in demeanor but follows you wordlessly. the feeling of almost emptying into the condom makes him pliable to your impatient hands. you guide him to the edge of the bed and he lets you. when you settle between his legs sungchan’s hand goes to your face to draw a line from your cheeks to the top of your head. when your hand pulls at the slimy stick condom sungchan groans and he props his other hand behind his back to keep his body upright.

his hand tightens in your hair but you’re the one in control, evident in the way sungchan lets out pathetic curse when you kiss his tip. sungchan feels you exert all your strength in your hand that presses into his thigh to constrict his movements. even if he wanted to he doesn’t think he could. his body turns to jelly when you take him into your mouth, and when he feels your nose press into his abdomen he becomes even weaker.

“oh my god.” sungchan whines.

he screws his eyes shut hoping that it’ll help him focus on not cumming down your throat. far off in the back of his mind he still remembers your last text and it’s the only thing that keeps him together. he has to bite his lips when he hears you gag and the vibrations of your laughing around his dick. he bucks his hips and now it’s you pinching him before you take him just as deep again.

when he opened his eyes again he saw you staring back up at him, meeting the same gaze you always shied away from. you didn’t have the same intense look he always gave you when he knew you were close, instead you still look up to him with eyes that are wet from want and almost pleading from desperation. he makes the shocking discovery in that moment that he really is no different from everyone else. even if you’re the one on your knees sungchan is the one begging, and even though you are the one struggling to take all of him in your mouth you are the one in charge. he realizes that he will forever be at your mercy, even if he is the one that is fucking you into the mattress. he could hold your hands over your head but you are the one in charge. he will do anything for you just by a simple look, the dominance for sungchan is just a show—a technicality because of his stature.

he had to weakly pulled his dick from your mouth after hearing you gag again. your eyes opened wider, glassy and red as sungchan started jerking himself off. he kept the same speed you had and he tilted his head to the side as he continued looking at you. your lips were plump and glistening from spit and precum, and your impatient tongue swiped across your lips to clean them.

he looked at your flushed face and your hand that was desperately digging into the flesh on his thigh as your eyes stayed trained on his dick. you were nothing like the nonchalant and cocky demeanor that oozed from your text messages, but somehow you were just as powerful. you were desperate and it made sungchan’s hair stand on end. he watched you part your lips in anticipation instead of commanding him because you already knew he was going to deliver on your filthy promise.

“can i cum on your face?” sungchan looked down at your lips, needing one last thing. “please?” he whimpered.

you nodded quickly, readjusting yourself on your haunches. you straightened your posture instead of leaning into sungchan’s thigh.

“yes.” you clear your throat. “you were so good for me.” you say hoarsely.

you knew you said the right thing when sungchan lulled his head back and increased the speed of his hand. you focused your blurring eyes from their perpetual state of begging to the determined and focused look sungchan would get when he knew you were close. your hands that dug into the muscle of his thigh started rubbing soothing circles, and you perked your chest up more for show. by the time sungchan focused on you again he was lifting his hips off the bed to come closer to your face. his doe eyes were struggling to look at you, fluttering closed when you parted your lips again. sungchan brought his free hand to clutch at yours on his thigh.

“i’m close.” sungchan whimpered.

sungchan stood up fully in front of you, and you began preparing yourself. he looked down at you one last time, heavy pants leaving his swollen lips. you watched his chest rise and fall rapidly in anticipation and felt the muscles of his thigh tighten underneath your hand. you could see the begging in his eyes and hear please coming out rushed between his pants. you responded by quickly wiping your face with your hand that was on sungchan’s thigh and tilting your head upwards. you locked eyes with him for a second before reluctantly closing yours.

the same moment you became a blank canvas sungchan painted it, his hand coming to an abrupt stop as heat bathed the apple of your left cheek and the tip of your nose. you heard a groan and then more heat bathed your other cheek. sungchan cursed above you and squeezed at your hand so tightly you thought it would break. you bared the pain when you felt he had more for you, coming out in spurts as he milked himself. you felt it on your eyelids and glide down the sides of your forehead. you felt sungchan thigh shake underneath the pressure of your hand before he came to a complete stop again, letting on one more heavy exhale.

right as you started to miss having a view of sungchan, you felt him quickly crouch down to you. you blindly grasped at him before you felt his finger quickly swipe over your eyes. when you didn’t feel anything on your eyelids anymore you opened them slowly to sungchan’s still labored breathing. he looked at you like he was waiting for something, his gaze flickering to himself all over you and your eyes. you were both equally bewildered, both of your lips parted waiting for someone to say something. you saw sungchan’s cum glisten on his index finger, and you suddenly had an idea. when his tongue darted out to wet his lips you saw it dribbling down his hand. your lips parted and you licked your own lips.

“eat it.” you said quietly.

sungchan looked even more bewildered hearing your request. his pupils shook looking at you and you blinked slowly. before you could take it back sungchan’s finger disappeared into his mouth. you watched with a slack jaw, and felt a sick pleasure bloom in your chest when he pulled out a completely clean finger. you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling when he showed you the proof that he ate it all by silently spreading his fingers and turning his hand around.

“you little freak.”

#seriez: anything 4 u #01zfan: sungchan #sungchan smut #riize smut

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siryouarebeingmocked · 3 months ago

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Found an Self-Insert Cyberpunk fanfic.

Except it's not the usual type. It's the type where it's told entirely from the perspective of people other than the SI, which makes it more interesting.

Problem 1: Current events.

Almost all the references people make are ones you'd expect from someone today, like Batman or other pieces of pop culture.

Cyberpunk 2077 often references fictional in-universe media. Like the dead rock star stuck in V's head. In a world where everything and everyone is disposable and temporary, why would people usually reference 80 year old media?

At one point, a character explicitly compares another character's clothing to Danny DeVito in Matilda.

Okay, the CP timeline divergences mainly started in the 90s. So it's possible that the movie was still made, but it's still odd. Especially when the same characters don't recognize that the story's lead is heavily based on Walter White. Shaved head and everything.

Except he's using his chemistry potential for good, not evil.

And it's not just media. It's also Current Year memes, like V describing certain people as a "corpo bros who watched too much American Psycho", or himself as a "disaster bisexual".

Oh look, a segue.

Problem 2: Rainbow connection.

The story puts a lot of emphasis on LGBT characters.

There's Judy Alvarez, obviously. But also, V's in with Meredith Stout is Stout's explicitly non-binary ex who, you guessed it, is they/them.

Adds nothing to the story. The SI provides that info, and Meredith tries to trip V up, but he sees through it.

Since Meredith is a Militech Corpo, and V is an Arasaka ex-Corpo (who still isn't over it), why doesn't V…just use that connection, somehow? Militech and Arasaka are rivals. There could be some friction there. Or V could sympathize with how Stout would do anything to keep her job.

Why are non-binary characters always just they/them? Why not he/she/they? He/She? Xi/xir? or Lunagender? Or using regular He or She interchangably while IDing as enby? Why is it always the basic, simple, "normal" version? Got a Rochester's Wife situation going on?*

Also, in fanfics, things like this often suggest even more awkward left-wing political insertions, down the line.

Problem 3: even more awkward left-wing political insertions.

Well, just one.

Panam Palmer just didn't fit. This wasn't rare in Night City. Lots of people who didn't fit in, were awkward, had no social groups, didn't choose to be loners. She expected to be alone in the city and no one cared. But it was personal hate. Her skin color, nomad markings, speech, just being a woman. The list went on and every day there was some new jerk who needed to find out, because they messed around.

Panam is canonically native American, according to the devs, but she looks like a random white biker lady wth a tan. Wouldn't be the first white-passing Native woman I've seen.

Also, she lives and works around Night City. Which is extremely diverse.

Judy Alvarez and Jackie (both Hispanic) were both POV characters, and race wasn't really mentioned. You'd think ex-Arasaka V or someone would mention Arasaka's racism, but nope. River Ward was a viewpoint character, and he's much more visibly non-white, down to his necklace and dreamcatcher (if romanced).

He only brings it up in the fic when Misty asks him if he ever had his fortune told. Apparently his granny did a "spirit walk" when him and his sister were born.**

I've seen playthroughs of the game, and I don't remember sexism really being a thing. Why would skin color matter much when anyone can change that and other ethnic features at will?

Why did race only come up as a significant thing now?

I'd expect Panam to get the most stick for being a Nomad, not brown, or a woman. Especially in a city where any woman could sprout mantis blades and go Cyberpsycho at the drop of a hat.

This feels…reductive. Like the writer wanted to give Panam challeges to overcome so she could be a Tough Woman™, and just…piled too much on, like a Chicago hot dog.

I would've gone with something more subtle. "Her back itches without her Nomad tribe behind her, and she's uncomfortable in a city instead of a desert, or a road. Even the echoes sound wrong."

So, yeah, this was the last straw.

Also, I checked the writer's profile, and, very stereotypically, she's from Portland.

*Also, you might recall that there was a nontroversy over an soda ad in the game featuring a lady with, ahem, a rather substantial bulge. Based on an actual trans woman. Somehow, portraying a (possible) trans woman in the same sexually objectified way as ads featuring non-trans people is transphobic.

I never worked out that logic.

My best guess is that some people were uncomfy with it, and it's about a trans person, so it's must be *phobic somehow.

Wouldn't it be ironic if the ad was just Photoshop in universe? Or the in-universe model was a non-trans woman who strapped on the junk just for the ad?

(Though depending on who you ask, that still counts as being a trans woman, somehow.)

**Come to think, that kind of feels like it's stereotyping. I can't find evidence Pomo Native Americans do spirit walks, but maybe my Google-fu is just weak.

#cyberpunk #fanfiction #long #personal

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vivagonza · 1 year ago

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haven't drawn wd and carbon in a hot while

(desva and vazio)

authorion appearances (+ hcs)

—Desva (white diamond)

• is at the top of a leading authority thats actually supposed to be against Vazios association, at some point she stopped being involved with Vazio for good but some lore points happened and now they MUST interact so most of their interactions in authorion is done is secret

• desva is albino and her design is usually accompanied by sunglasses, those big victorian hats and an umbrella

• i'd imagine her top quote would be "whats the point of makeup if it isn't to intimidate?"

• likes to be flashy but hates attention and her business with duty over the years have made her hate any socialities that include the public or strangers, very image-oriented so when she MUST, usually just charms/intimidates others with a fiercely devious attitude and then after just self isolates from exhaustion

• in social settings people are either scared or attracted or both to her (or want her dead)

• HATES showing skin that isnt her face and also will shoot you if you see her without makeup

• she/her/pleasedontshootme

• retractable sharp nails and is always smiling to assert dominance (she avoids awkward social situations by creating scary social situations with her gigantic presence)

• is already a whopping 5'11 and wears 4 inch heels

• neurotic and probably fatherless

— Vazio (black diamond)

• gets referred to as "it" or just Vazio because the way he expresses herself gets people so threatened that they dont know how to really talk about them and its strangely affirming

• he/him butch and she/her twink vibes

• more reserved and less flashy than desv and isnt really that worried about how the public perceives them. because the public will never perceive her because he works under the shadows all the time anyways

• works for a more less-personed federation, but probably the reason why said federation is powerful too

• babygirl

• murderous and he and desv get into ALOT of disputes

• doesnt intentionally threaten everybody, she just looks like that and he probably creates the awkward social situations because they don't know how to talk to people

• 6'6 to completely sell off the looming broody scary giant image

alright thats enough i hope you enjoy the totally same people from canon that just so happen to reside in my head they totally are like this in the real thing guys (carbonado doesnt even exist)

#steven universe #steven universe au #su #suf #steven universe future #white diamond #white diamond su #black diamond #carbonado #authorion #black diamond su #desva almakovich #vazio colombinus

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stressed-depressed-andobsessed · 6 months ago

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Yo love your ideas! I was thinking of a Hamilton AU a few weeks ago! I saw Celeste as Maria because she's conning for money and a gaslighting queen, and Junko as the king watching as the country struggles for fun.

For heathers I see Chihiro for Martha cause they were bullied but meek and kind. Green heather as Celeste (Celeste is pissed about not getting the main Heather at first but does amazing), Sayaka as yellow heather cause she's a cheerleader and she can cry on command. And Mukuro as Veronica, pulling off the "I'm not pretty and I'm unpopular" until Junko gives her a makeover. Maybe one night Mukuro can't make it and Toko is her understudy and has to perform. I can see her singing "fight for me" really well (She never thought she'd actually have to perform and FREAKS out, but ends up killing it.) Hiro as the other football player with Leon (Taka REFUSES), and Asahina being the unhinged cheerful teacher. I see Taka being the dad singing "I love my dead gay sons" trying to turn his loss into something righteous to help others be more accepting. The other dad is just Hiro again with a stick on mustache and glasses. (Or maybe Hifume)

That's just my interpretation, I love seeing other people's ideas and having discussions with them! If you want, how would you cast them in "Be More Chill"?

YOOOO Big Brain Energy ^^^^^

Celeste and Junko being swapped is super clever, Celeste is a really good actor since she literally acts as CELESTIA LUDENBURG everyday and Junko being a condescending King and loving it as the wars break out is such a great fit for her!!

The Heathers swap outs are genius exemplary!!! Honestly, my interpretations were more about who I would've liked to personally see rather than who would fit the characters.

Celeste and Sayaka as Green and Yellow Heather respectively are amazing! I didn't take into account Sayaka's crying abilities, but it would make sense that she can activate those crocodile tears whenever she wants (or needs)!

Mukuro and Toko not even needing to act much because they are already socially awkward as it is is brilliant! Toko swooping in as the understudy is adorable, I love seeing situations that make Toko come out of her shell a little! (That's partly why I adore Despair Girls so much) Once she gets her stuttering a little bit under control, she would kill in Fight for Me. (Maybe if she imagines it's Byakuya she's singing to, it'll help her calm down more) The same goes for Mukuro, I'm sad that she has to be in her sister's shadow so much so it's nice when the fanbase lets her do things. (even though she's still kinda with her sister in the musical since Junko follows her around a lot)

I originally thought of Hiro and Leon being the Dumb Fuckboys (Kurt and Ram) together, it would make the most sense. I love the fact that you see the vision too!

Hina being the Chaotic teacher isn't something I originally thought of, but it would definitely fit! Nice catch! I can definitely see her putting her all into Ms. Fleming song about reading the suicide note and trying to make the kids express themselves (I forgot the song name) and really killing it!

Taka and Hiro being the Gay Dads is so funny. I DID NOT consider that for a second, but it has so much potential. If Hiro walked out in glasses and a mustache (and maybe that cliche brown hat) I would die. I think the whole cast would. That is so funny. I can imagine him quickly changing out of his underwear in the back, just for this one song. I love thinking about Taka singing the stupid 'I Love my Dead Gay Son' because it's such a silly song and he's so serious about everything so he would definitely be extremely serious about saying the song lines and-

Bravo! You've entertained me, your ideas are gold.

I'm so sorry, but I don't actually know much about Be More Chill. I've read the book twice, but didn't actually retain anything from it. I've never seen the musical/movie either and I don't really have an interest in it. Sorry again, I wish I did. All I remember is that there's some kind of drug/chip in someone's brain and there's a house party that leads to a fire.

#danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #kiyotaka ishimaru #sayaka maizono #heathers musical #heathers #celestia ludenberg #chihiro fujisaki #yasuhiro hagakure #in a mustache and glasses #leon kuwata #aoi asahina #toko fukawa #mukuro ikusaba #junko enoshima #bye loves!#💛🤍💜🖤

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bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue · 6 months ago

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hihi!! I hope you're having a good day and feel better soon : ) I know you're in college right now and I'm starting soon (this fall!!!) and I was wondering if you had any advice for finding roommates? Im pretty sure im also some flavor of neuro divergent and I'm kind of worried about finding a roommate for my freshman year and becoming friends with them.... what did you do when you were trying to find someone? did the transition feel okay? I really hope I find someone who likes me and im really worried that ill be too awkward when first meeting people

Hi, anon! (And thanks for asking about my feeling better—I am indeed recovering from my cold, slowly but surely!)

How exciting that you’re entering college this fall—congratulations to you, the Class of ‘28! You’re right that I’m currently in college—I’m a senior (and currently in Grad School Application Hell)—and it’s really nice revisiting all the excited feelings I had as I was entering college for the first time, too, and I’m so excited FOR you! It’s not an easy transition, and I understand if you’re nervous, but in the best of circumstances, it can be SO much fun—the new environment, the newfound freedom, the new friends, the endless possibilities of this new chapter in your life! (Do I sound like a cliché and/or some overly-enthusiastic person from an admissions office taking you on a college tour right now? Maybe. Sorry about that.)

I’ll start with the caveat that I’m by no means an expert on this, just speaking from my personal experience (in which I’ve been lucky to have two absolutely lovely roommates!), largely drawn from how my college functions and what worked well for me. I’ve done my best to make this explanation more general and inclusive of how other schools might work, though. (And if you or anyone reading this has any more specific questions, feel free to shoot me another ask or a DM!)

So, given my lack of qualification…I’ve put on my Advice Columnist Hat and basically written a LOOOOOONG-winded treatise on how to find roommates for your first year of college, especially if you’re some flavor of neurodivergent! That will be under the cut, so let’s go!

How To Find Roommates For Your First Year Of College, Especially If You’re Some Flavor Of Neurodivergent

An Unnecessarily Long-Winded Treatise By bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue

Part 1: Picking Prospective Roommates Based on Questionnaires & Compatibility

The way my school does roommate selection for incoming first-years is that you can choose either to “go random” (be assigned a totally random roommate, who I think will always be someone else who’s also chosen to go random), or you can fill out a questionnaire and be matched with people who’ve answered it similarly. If, for some reason, your school just assigns random roommates to everyone and you don’t have any choice in whom your roommate will be, then you can skip this whole part and scroll down to Part 2. (Sorry!)

The aforementioned roommate form/questionnaire has questions about how you prefer to live/what you’d like your housing situation to be like. Whether they’re part of an official form from your school or not, they’re all important things to consider when you’re deciding who would make the best match for you as a roommate, especially when you’re neurodivergent and have specific routines, sensory needs, socialization-related needs, etc. (but also just for everyone, because it makes accommodating the other person and their schedules/patterns so much easier if they’re already the same as your own schedules/patterns!) These will be things like:

Have you ever consistently lived in the same room with someone before (a sibling, a roommate at boarding/prep school or sleepaway camp, etc.)?

What time do you like to go to sleep/wake up?

Do you keep your room neat and tidy, cluttered but clean, or messy?

How often do you plan to be in the room? (As opposed to: in class, in extracurriculars, in OTHER people’s rooms, going out/partying, working at a job, etc. Some people hardly ever leave their rooms, and some treat their room more like a waystation.)

How often do you plan to have people over in the room?

Do you use substances (do drugs, drink alcohol, smoke, etc.), and how would you feel about a roommate who used substances?

How do you feel about roommates using your stuff? (what’s mine is yours / ask first / please don’t touch)

Do you need darkness to sleep, or are you okay with some lights being on?

Do you need quiet to sleep, or are you okay with some noise?

Do you want you and your roommate to be acquaintances, friends, or close friends?

The questionnaire for my college, as I recall, also asks some general questions about your personality, hobbies, planned majors, extracurriculars, etc.

If your college’s housing form has a questionnaire like this, hell yeah! Go ahead and fill it out, if you haven’t already! After you’ve done so, the program will match you with people who have answered similarly, in an attempt to create nice, concordant living situations. My college’s program provided a list of a bunch of possible prospects, with their compatibility percentage (91% compatible, 86% compatible, etc.), and showed their provided description and their answers to the questionnaires, so you could see where you agreed and disagreed. Kinda like this character personality quiz, but with, y’know, real people. If your college DOESN’T have a questionnaire like this (I think most do, but I’ll freely admit I’m not very up on how colleges that aren’t mine work…), you can use a roommate-finder website like Roomsurf or Diggz, or an app like Roomie. (Yeah, the names are kinda stupid…) Finally, some social-media profiles for schools’ incoming classes (like a Class of ‘28 Discord server or Instagram page) let you write up a little profile on your own, with your answers to these questions. When they post it, people can look at it determine their compatibility with you on their own, then comment/DM you expressing their interest in being your roommate.

Whatever method you choose, I’d suggest that if you’re neurodivergent, you do some sort of questionnaire like this—or at the very least find some way of expressing your preferences—instead of going random, if that’s at all possible. It reduces a lot of stress if you have at least SOME idea, going in, of what it will be like to live with your roommate, and it goes the other way around, too—you’re letting your roommate know what it will be like to live with you. And although a perfect, 100% match is next to impossible, it’s really nice to get a roommate who has similar habits to yours and is able to tolerate yours—if you go to bed and wake up at around the same time, if you both need quiet at a certain time, if neither of you wants people over in your room often, etc. I’d argue that this is almost more important than friendship based on things like shared interests (majors, fandoms, etc.). In fact, I’ve known people who are the best of friends, but who’d make terrible roommates! On the other hand, I’ve known people who were perfectly cordial, respectful roommates who got along well and liked each other fine, but barely hung out in other contexts. To sun up, living compatibility is important, and I’d argue that neurodivergence makes it even more important—when things like this are less “wants” than “needs”.

Speaking of which: in your answers to these questionnaires or in your profile, you might or might not want to disclose that you’re neurodivergent, or that you suspect you are. That’s totally your choice, and you don’t have to disclose anything you’re not comfortable with. If you specifically want a neurodivergent roommate, then it might be a good thing to disclose that you are or might be neurodivergent too. (Although, as the saying goes, if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. And that’s just one specific category of neurodivergence! Someone else might have totally different sensory needs and routines than you do—or they might be a different flavor of neurodivergent or have co-occurring physical/mental conditions. This is always a good thing to talk to them about more specifically and in more detail, if both of you are comfortable with it.) It might also be a good idea to say you’re neurodivergent as an explanation for why you need your living conditions to be the way they are and why you may be less willing or likely to budge on them—they’re not just preferences, they’re accommodations, things you NEED. However, if you’re uncomfortable disclosing this information—if you think that mentioning it might alienate potential roommates who are ableist or have misconceptions about neurodivergence, or if you’re just uncomfortable with saying you’re for sure neurodivergent when you’re not entirely sure (believe me, I get it; I’ve been there, and still kinda am!)—then you don’t have to say it. Another option is to see if any potential roommate matches mention that they are neurodivergent—then you can privately message them and say you suspect that you might be, too. This way you don’t have to disclose it to the world in your profile, but you might still find people who are wired the same or a similar way that you are.

Aside from that—my advice is to be as honest as possible when filling out these questionnaires. Obviously you can’t predict everything about how you’ll ACTUALLY turn out to live and behave in college—maybe you anticipate spending lots of time outside of your room for an extracurricular that you don’t even end up doing, or you liked to keep your room neat in high school, but with all the responsibilities and stress of college life, cleaning your room ends up falling by the wayside. You can’t predict that with absolute certainty, and the prospective roommates looking at your answers know that—it’s all preliminary guesswork. After all, they’re guessing how they’ll live, too! But given that, do your best to be as honest as you can. Don’t feel bad or ashamed, or like you need to hide/downplay any of your living habits! It’s not “bad” or “wrong” to have a messy room, go to bed late, or use/not use substances. It’s better to be upfront about things like this, so your roommate doesn’t feel deceived when your living patterns turn out to be different than how you made them out to be in the questionnaire—or so you don’t have to feel like you have to overhaul your own living habits. Self-improvement is a great thing to aspire to, but with all the changes that come with moving to college, it can just cause more stress—especially for neurodivergent people who need routines and familiarity. (Even if going to bed at 3 AM is your routine—*cough* me *cough*) And feeling like you have to tiptoe around another person or suppress your own needs can cause resentment to build up over time, and that’s not fair to you or your roommate. You don’t have to disclose anything you’re not comfortable with, but be as honest as you can.

To close out this section, here’s a quick, funny comic about how these questionnaires often go for people filling them out!

Part 2: Narrowing It Down Through Conversation

So! What next? If your college has picked out a roommate for you, or if you’ve got a list of contenders for your future roommate—people who have high compatibility scores with you on the roommate questionnaire or who have commented and expressed interest in being your roommate over social media—then the next thing to do is reach out to them! There might be a messaging feature embedded within the housing portal, or people might put their Instagram/Twitter/Discord/etc. info in the part of the roommate questionnaire that asks for a brief description of them. If you found someone through social media in the first place, you can just DM them on that account! Worse comes to worst, you can just Google “[person’s name] + [college name] + [‘28]”, and you’ll often get a social media profile for them that way.

What I did was take the top few people from the list of possible compatible roommates that the program spit out, then sent them each the same message I’d written beforehand. From what I can remember, I introduced myself, explained that the roommate portal matched us up/suggested that we’d be compatible, and said I was excited to get to know them more and see if we’d like to be roommates—and, if that wasn’t possible, if we could be friends as we both entered our college. I’d usually find a little detail from their profile and expand on that to start a conversation—things like: “I noticed on your profile that you like anime! I love it too—my favorite is Cowboy Bebop, but I like all kinds! What are your favorites? Do you have any recommendations?” or “I saw on your profile that you’re a fencer! That’s so cool, I’ve always wanted to learn that! Are you planning to join the fencing team or take classes at [School]?” (To be clear, I just made these up—I hadn’t watched Cowboy Bebop yet when I started college! I also hadn’t tried fencing yet, which is actually true to the message I made up—now I have taken a fencing class and can confidently say that I absolutely SUCK at it. But I digress.)

The next few messages, back and forth, are where you begin to get to know this person and (hopefully!) establish a friendship with them. Beyond just the logistics of living, you get to see if you click. You don’t want to live with someone with whom you’d always have an awkward silence or feel on edge, or whom you just plain don’t like or find annoying—even if you have the exact same schedules and living preferences! A good roommate is someone with whom you feel comfortable—because, after all, they’re the person with whom you’ll spend the majority of your time for a year. Things like shared interests are a bonus, even if they’re not strictly necessary—it’s nice to have built-in ways to spend downtime with your roommate and bond with them. For instance, if you’re both into anime, you can watch it together; if you both like biking, you can go on bike rides together. Again, you don’t have to be best friends with your roommate—and if you don’t expect to be best friends with them, it lowers the pressure on both of you as you get to know each other!—but it’s nice to click with them, at least a little. (If you’re having trouble carrying on the conversation, I’ve written this guide to getting-to-know-you conversations and socializing, specifically for autistic people! Again, I’m by NO means an expert, but hopefully it can prove a little helpful!)

If you’ve messaged back and forth and are seriously considering the possibility of being roommates, I’d suggest at least one video chat before making it official, for a few reasons:

You can get a sense of how well you mesh in spoken back-and-forth conversations…which you’ll be having a LOT of if you’re roommates! Texts/DMs don’t always translate to spoken conversations (whether IRL or over video calls) the same way.

The two of you can see what the other looks like beyond their curated social media profile.

You can give each other a virtual tour of your rooms at home, to show them what your living situation is currently like.

If you’re comfortable with it, you can meet each other’s families—whom you might be seeing a LOT of during move-in!

And remember: if you message lots of people (who themselves are also messaging lots of people), it’s inevitable that some roommate relationships won’t work out! Sometimes the other person might ghost you, or find another roommate, or YOU might find a roommate and have to let the other people you messaged down easy, or you might decide that you’re better as friends than as roommates, or they might just annoy the hell out of you. That’s okay! Barring the first and last situations, just because you’re not roommates doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. And, in fact, by messaging a lot of people for roommate selection, oops—you’ve accidentally made lots of good, friendly connections for when the school year starts, and now you know more people you’ll see in your dorm, in class, in the dining halls, etc.! Even if someone’s not your future roommate, they could be your future study group member, or partner for meals, or person with whom to laugh at terrible sitcoms, or whatever.

Part 3: Maybe Not Even Having A Roommate At All?!?!?

One more thing to consider: if you’re worried about having a roommate, then, depending on your school, you might be able to get a single room to yourself and not have to have a roommate at all! The rules are different from one school to the next—my mom spent all four years of her undergraduate education happily in singles, never having a roommate, whereas my school requires you to have a roommate your first year. That is…unless you have medical accommodations that require you living in a single. If you’re really worried about roommates—if you think that the stress of having one might be sensory overload or detrimental to your mental health (and it can be a lot, being around someone All The Time!) and you need time to unmask & be truly on your own, then it might be worth looking into accommodations. These can look like: a “medical single,” an early room-selection slot to make sure you can pick a single before they’re all taken, etc. See if your school offers something similar; it’ll usually be under an office with a name like “Accessibility,” “Accommodations,” “ADA,” etc.

However, two caveats:

Accommodations like this often require some form of paperwork confirming an official diagnosis. Some accessibility offices aren’t very lenient about self-diagnosis or even diagnoses that are in progress. I assume, from your saying that you’re “pretty sure you’re some flavor of neurodivergent,” that you haven’t gotten an official diagnosis, and I can totally understand all the reasons you or others may not have one—lack of access, lack of permission, doubtful doctors, worries about how a diagnosis may affect other aspects of your life, just not wanting to or not being sure yet! I myself am just at the “maybe-possibly autistic” stage and only recently considered the possibility of a diagnosis as a Real Thing In My Future. But keep in mind that accommodations offices, ironically, might not be that understanding or accommodating.

Sometimes, unfortunately, accessibility administration can just be bad at their jobs and a hassle to deal with—so getting accommodations like this might be a long fight, and might not happen until you’re already in a room. Then you’d have to deal with the stress of having a roommate for a few months, compounded with the stress of having to pack up and move into a new single, sometimes in another building entirely!

This is where it’s good to look into resources for incoming students to your school, preferably ones where current students can answer questions freely and with candor—like those social-media pages for incoming students (if they’re run by students themselves), or groups on Facebook, Discord, Sidechat/YikYak, etc.—and see how good your school’s accessibility office’s track record is when it comes to granting accommodations quickly, helpfully, and fairly. People who have dealt with them before can answer and give you some insight. (I’ll admit, some of my rancor might be coming from experiences I’ve witnessed at my school, whose accessibility office can, to put it in the nicest way possible, be hit-or-miss…)

Part 4: My Personal Experience/Conclusion

Now for a bit of a tangent about my personal experience. Luckily, I’ve had really good luck with roommates the two years I had them. My first-year roommate, whom I met through the questionnaire, was really nice and made a good, respectful roommate. Although we haven’t crossed paths much after first year, we’re still friendly when we do see each other. Then, in my second year, I couldn’t room with that person again because she became an RA and was assigned a single, so I roomed with one of my best friends, whom I’d met at the beginning of first year! Unfortunately, they and I ended up sharing the world’s tiniest “dingle” (a single into which the college shoved two beds and pretended it was a double), where there was hardly room to move around without bumping into each other. But both of us proved very accommodating (at least, I hope I was!) and actually ended that year with an even closer friendship, instead of coming to blows and wanting to kill each other. I’m not sure I would have been able to share that single with anyone else but them! (Actually, I’m Tumblr mutuals with both of these people—to be clear, we followed each other here after knowing each other in real life; we didn’t meet on Tumblr and then happen to go to the same college—which I guess speaks to how we’re similar flavors of weird??? And if either of them see this post, I hope you know how wonderful you are and I apologize if I’ve misrepresented you!!) My third year, I was assigned a single due to an on-campus job I had, and I’ll have a single this coming year because I’m a senior.

I won’t lie and say the transition was easy—it’s never easy going to college for the first time, especially when you’re living in a dorm away from home. But when I followed the steps I outlined above, it made it a lot easier for me and gave me two lovely roommates; I’m so glad to have shared the experience with them. I really hope my super long-winded guide was helpful, and I hope you have similar luck and a great experience, both with finding a roommate and with college life in general! I’ve had so much fun in college so far—for me, it’s been worlds better than high school!—and I wish the same for you. 💖

#ask #answered #anon #college #roommates #neurodivergent #maya’s musings

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x-authorship-x · 1 year ago

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i am begging you to expand on your shisui/harry thoughts. please my family are starving ❤️

✨👏✨👏✨ i will GLADLY rant

So lets switch things up a bit and start with Harry.

Harry.

I love Harry.

He's this boy with the weight of prophecy, heroism, impossible expectations, and such attention on his shoulders. He knows so little about the magical world, for all he slowly proves pretty damn talented, and his muggle background is about as far from supportive as you can get.

He's abused and this fundamentally rewrites his love map, his perception of himself and his own worth; he's not some theory genius because he'd rather be doing, acting, making a tangible difference, because he's always had to think on his feet and school has never been his friend. Getting grades too high and he's punished, his teachers turning a blind eye or actually believing the Dursleys...! And then! Hogwarts isn't much better when everyone thinks he's supposed to be as smart and cool and strong as the stories say, when teachers hate him and want him dead, when so many other things seem more important!

Harry is smart, though, but there are things he doesn't pick up on; he's so quick to identify suspicion, resentment, fear, danger, because that was his life for so long. Affection, admiration, love are foreign concepts and that in itself makes him feel uncomfortable and wrong footed, not even getting into the distrust of positivity.

He spends his time just trying to survive and living is a secondary thing. Nothing good stays, it all feels underscored by the cruelties (like deaths, Voldemort, the Dursleys) that he can't escape. His life is only pricked by little glimmers of happiness, when he gets to forget for a short time, and it's hard to keep that mentality on straight.

Harry is kind. He's so bewildered and lost and out of his depths in so many things, like when confronted by aspects of magical society he's never been exposed to but so many people take for granted, and he's never handled with the same understanding that other muggle-raised get (Hermione probably unwittingly adds to this because she's a Muggle-born but she's read more than most purebloods have). Harry is never cruel to people, when he lashes out it's usually because he's been provoked. He is friends with Luna, he is fiercely loyal to Ron, he encourages Neville, he is patient with Hermione.

Harry doesn't understand social queues or positive emotions very well - and, when confronted by an awkward or dubious social situation, like Ron complaining about Hermione, he doesn't agree but he also doesn't know how to speak up whilst navigating other kids and new friendships... Squaring up to Draco is much much easier - but there is a reason the hat wanted him for Slytherin and I don't believe that stupid house-essentialism for a fucking second.

But Harry is shrewd. He knows the moment someone has dodgy designs on him, moody sets his wires off even if harry then chalks it up to him just being fucking weird to everyone, and quirrell is not a threat as much as he is uncomfortable and strange.... Tom Riddle couldn't get harry to really trust him, so I think we should give some credit where it's due and not just... Make Harry swerve between "blindly hotheaded and oblivious" and "manipulative Slytherin-core". Harry has a temper but he's quiet, watchful, and intensely private. He also has a very honorable core in him, even if his morals can flutter around depending on the situation, and he is intensely lonely.

Enter: Shisui.

Shisui, specifically in this AU as a Hufflepuff Heir Black, is such a good pairing for Harry and Harry is very good for Shisui. Regulars will know my favoured Shisui qualities so, instead of regurgitating that list for the Nth time, I'll use Shisui to explain the pairing instead.

Expectations: Shisui is the bastard Heir Black, his father a turncoat DE and his uncle the man who betrayed the Potters, half his family dead or in Azkaban, and it's just a wreck. Shisui's memories mean that he's pretty okay with managing the attention, with cultivating a friendly persona, and then SHOCKER- Heir Black is a fucking Hufflepuff?! Everyone thinks he must be bit of a waste of space and this helps take the heat off him a bit. These two boys will absolutely understand each other, the shame of horrible families and the terrible weight of legacy that has done nothing but offer heartache, the fickleness of the Hogwarts staff and population, the carefulness about making friends to be really vulnerable with...

School logistics: Hufflepuff and Gryffindor don't rub shoulders much but they do sit back to back on their benches in the great hall so there is a good chance for meal-time chatter, especially when shit hits the fan. in class, shisui is gonna be a genius. This is just what will happen, he has the memories of a previous lifetime as a prodigy, and this might be a whole new world with no Sharingan but his mind knows what to do. Shisui devours magical books. He's driving Hermione up the wall. He's somehow (😏) Hogwarts champion and he's actively helping Harry and omg they're working together is this allowed? During second year, shisui is one of the few who barely bats an eyelash at the parseltongue and he's setting his housemates straight about Harry and Harry is actually noticing and thinking... Omg... Who is this guy to be helping me... And then in third year, Shisui is convinced to try for seeker so he and Harry play matches against each other, Shisui is under intense pressure because of Sirius's escape, he catches harry when he falls from his broom... Like are you starting to get the picture here?

Personalities: feral loyal. Honorable but willing to bend morals. Understand the weight of destiny, of legacy, the hunted feeling of an enemy. Shisui will absolutely kill for Harry and Harry would be so relieved because holy shit they're actually in it together, not just emotionally but actually in it. And Harry is hot tempered and suspicious and Shisui gets it, holy shit he GETS it, and Harry is so ride or die and so is Shisui, and Harry is running the DA and Shisui stays behind and shows Harry how to throw punches and break noses and flip assailants and... 😫🤌✨

Quidditch boyfriends... Quidditch adrenaline junkie boyfriends, Shisui is so fucking fast at apparating that he can hop around in a duel and Harry's patronus always wanders to Shisui every single time and they gut Grimmauld Place together and they hold each other so tight and swear 'I will hold on, I'm beside you' and that's beautiful to me

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #shisui shipping #shisui harry potter #harry Potter #shisui #heir shisui black #shisui is regulus's son #hp naruto #hp au #Hufflepuff shisui

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jakesuit0 · 2 years ago

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Susan Strong Review

Uncle Gumbald chopped down all the taffy trees…wait a minute, isn’t this season two? For the longest time, PB mentioning her great Uncle Gumbald (the “great” was recontextualized later) in this episode was viewed as early installment weirdness, just like the pictures of PB with gum relatives that return on her walls here. PB shooting down Finn’s suggestion that he chopped the trees down because they were “evil trees” helps to set Gumbald up as a dick. Princess Bubblegum inquires about all the stories Finn must have about his human relatives. Considering how close she is with Finn and Jake, it doesn’t make much sense that she would think Finn has that knowledge. Her social awkwardness around bringing up the touchy subject (twice!) does make sense though.

While the series has acknowledged the seemingly near extinction of the human race once before, this is the first time Finn acknowledges it and we see how he feels about the subject. Finn isn’t lonely and does have a home, but there is a part of him that feels like an outsider. In a world full of amazing people and places, maybe being Ooo’s hero is how he proves himself and finds that sense of belonging. This starts a new character arc for Finn that will not be resolved for a long time. Jake is aware of these feelings Finn has and is immediately sympathetic. He knows how to cheer Finn up by having him toss the Jakesploder.

Finn and Jake find a hatch to a nuclear fallout shelter containing human ancestors, later called hyomoons. This confirms what was already assumed, the nuclear war is what caused the end of the human race. The hyomoons have animal hats similar to Finn’s, establishing them as an important part of human culture and not just unique to Finn, even if we don’t know their true purpose yet. The hyomoons have lost touch with their heritage, culture, society, and even language from living underground for hundreds of years. They are terrified of anything new to them. Jake briefly wants to rule them like angry gods, one of the more memed lines of dialogue from the show. Finn believes it is his duty to help his people and bring them to civilization. This foreshadows his role in “The Light Cloud” when he tries to do the exact same thing. The hyomoons being isolated and fearful of the outside world is the same situation the humans of Founder’s Island are in. Maybe the way the hyomoons interact with the outside world, and eventually come into conflict with the Candy Kingdom, is indicative of what happens after the humans return to Ooo in “Come Along With Me”.

Finn meets Susan Strong for the first time, her name coming from a miscommunication. Finn is overjoyed to meet other humans, and the introduction of another (possible) human is given the importance it deserves. Susan is the leader of the tribe, and seemingly the smartest, probably stemming from her (as we’ll learn later on) being the only one with experience above ground even with her amnesia. Originally in the episode, all the members of the tribe were supposed to come out with Finn. This was changed because it was hard to keep track of all the characters. Just having Susan come out with Finn also allows a more personal and emotional connection to be formed.

Susan is immediately terrified of the grass, so Finn reassures her by telling her “grass can’t hurt you”. Well that turned out to be a lie. It’s crazy how well this accidentally works as foreshadowing, especially with Jake telling Finn he killed her after she faceplants into the grass. Finn and Jake take Susan around Ooo and we get a couple continuity references in a row. They all dance with a dancing bug like the one in “Power Animal”. They revisit the cliff in Red Rock Pass from “It Came From the Nightosphere”. At first I thought the fallen tree they sit on was the same tree Finn chopped down to use as a table for his spaghetti dinner in “To Cut a Woman’s Hair”, but alas I checked and it’s not. Missed opportunity! Finn is so happy to have a human friend that he sings a catchy, sweet song about it in Rebecca Sugar’s second song of the series. This helps make the ending even sadder. Susan tries a marshmallow and falls in love with candy. I can only imagine the gross scraps Susan has been eating underground.

Finn and Jake bring Susan Strong to the Candy Kingdom and we see the end of her meeting with Bubblegum. Hopefully PB was less awkward this time! She probably geeked out seeing a survivor of an ancient civilization. Susan sees Peppermint Butler and tries to eat him, showing she wasn’t quite ready to be around others. Finn feeds her sidewalk brittle instead. It looks delicious, but it is the ground so that’s kind of gross. Susan is basically living out a fan’s dream of getting to go to the Candy Kingdom and eating it. She runs off to get the rest of her tribe so they can eat the entire kingdom. This can be taken as a metaphor for the destructive nature of human consumption. She misunderstands and thinks they just can’t eat Peppermint Butler. It’s very weird that Finn and Jake don’t just run after her and tell her not to.

Finn of course doesn’t want to hurt his people, but he still tells Princess Bubblegum. They make a plan to scare them away without actually hurting them. Princess Bubblegum gathers her people and dresses them in spooky Halloween-like costumes. Starchy’s beelzebub costume is fitting for the gravedigger. Jake wants to give him candy, which is a cute wink at Halloween without actually mentioning a holiday that doesn’t exist anymore. PB definitely has the security and capabilities to easily hold them off, but this was before the series really explored the extent of Bubblegum’s power. Maybe she feels for Finn and doesn’t want to hurt them, but I’m sure she has better means of repelling them safely. Even Jake could use his powers to help.

They try to use giant shadows to scare them off, but Finn taught Susan too well. Finn does go to try to talk to them, but the marshmallow kids run out to fight them off after Jake accidentally lights them on fire. I do think the conflict is a little bit contrived, Finn could have just tried to go talk to them before they get to the kingdom, but it’s not a big deal. The hyomoons’ hats catch on fire so they rip them off, revealing fish heads. Their ancestors were definitely human but they mutated overtime. Susan does not rip her hat off (although her hair should be a clue). Finn asks Susan what she is and she looks at him briefly before running away. This is one of the most heartbreaking moments in the series so far. While Finn isn’t able to bring the human race back to Ooo yet, he eventually will succeed. Jake says that everyone is a wild animal and Finn refers to Jake as his brother. This shows that even if Finn is the last human, he still has family and he isn't truly alone as everyone is really the same deep down. Humans can be just as selfish and savage as any animal. The episode ends with Finn still not sure if Susan is human or not, leaving us with the most mysterious ending yet.

This is the most emotional episode of the series yet, except for arguably “It Came From the Nightosphere” and finally starts to give us some more hints of the backstory of the series. We explore a deeper layer of Finn we haven’t gotten to see before. Susan Strong is a very mysterious character that fans would obsess over and theorize about for the next two years.

Grade: A

#adveture time #susan strong #finn the human #jake the dog #princess bubblegum #peppermint butler #finn and jake

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shoujo-brain-masahiro · 2 years ago

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As the man doubled down on his relationship with Kousuke, Masahiro found himself growing increasingly uncomfortable. He wanted to dart, to run as far away as he was able, even if it was only to the open door a few feet away. Even if neither of the men said it, he was clearly intruding on their… well, whatever it was they had together. Whether they were friends, partners, lovers, it didn’t really matter much. The point was that they were clearly close, and Masahiro was a very awkward third wheel. He had walked in on his mother and her clients enough to know when he was in the way, and he definitely knew it now. Strangely, even though the situations weren’t really the same, it didn’t change how he felt at seeing something intimate happening before his eyes.

He hated it.

Before the jealousy and discomfort could fully show on his face, Masahiro gave another meek attempt to slip out politely and then turned on his heel and rushed for the door as quickly as he could manage without appearing rude. Thankfully, no one seemed to pay him any mind once he left Kousuke’s side, so he slid into the room with a minimum amount of stares.

Unfortunately, once he was in the room he came upon another issue… he had no idea where he was supposed to sit. Was it assigned seating? Could he just sit in a corner and hope everyone would ignore him until they started introductions? It would have been so much easier if there had been some kind of name cards or something to indicate how it worked. Did everyone else just know what they were supposed to do? He watched as two guys about his age walk in and take seats on the right of the table, chatting and laughing quietly together. He rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment, wondering if he should walk over and ask, when Kousuke came into the room and tapped his shoulder.

How did this man always know when he was struggling? How did he manage to sweep in to his rescue at just the right time? Now, and during the audition when he had clued him into the real story going on between the characters. Was this just the kind of person he was, willing to rush in and help at the drop of a hat? Or was he just particularly pathetic enough that the man felt like he had to lend a hand?

When he apologized about his friend, Masahiro wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Part of him wished that he could just say he understood and it was all good, but he didn’t understand. Never having had a friend close enough to joke (he assumed they had been joking by Kousuke’s reactions but still wasn’t entirely sure) around with, he couldn’t say that it was fine. He felt like he had somehow been the butt of the jokes without fully understanding why. Maybe because he was always worried about that sort of thing, that he was on the outside looking in and others could not only tell, but thought it was humorous. He doubted it was actually the case and was just his social anxiety cropping up, but it still didn’t feel great. He wondered if he’d ever be able to interact with someone like Kousuke’s friend without feeling at least slightly uncomfortable.

“It’s okay,” he lied with a smile, “it seems like you guys have been friends for a long time. I hope I didn’t insult him, I just wasn’t sure what to say.”

Could he be any more awkward?

Instead of trying to explain himself more and digging himself into an even bigger hole, he went and sat next to Kousuke at the table. Now that he was actually sitting at the table, he could feel a small spark of excitement begin to grow inside him. He was actually here, sitting with a whole cast and crew, getting ready for a real project. It wasn’t a dream, wasn’t some hallucination brought on by hunger, or even some scam by his sketchy agent. Somehow, someway, he had actually been cast in this drama and it was getting started.

Masahiro turned to Kousuke, a wondrous smile on his lips. He wanted to ask if it was really okay that he was there, but having already made such a fool of himself earlier, he just let out a soft laugh as he gazed down at the script on the table. “Thank you for this morning. You could have laughed at me, but you’ve been a huge help. I really am looking forward to working on this project with you. Really.”

He wasn't quite sure what to think of Kousuke's explanation that no, these people really weren't on quite as friendly terms as they all appeared to be. Was this part of being an actor? Faking not just greetings, but friendship? Was that what Kousuke had meant when he said they would end up being friends? And if that was the case, why did it sting so much to realize it? It wasn't as though they really knew each other yet. Even if all they ended up having were these all too polite and enthusiastic conversations that he was watching the others in the hall have, he couldn't really fault the man. It wasn't a requirement for him to genuinely like his co-star... just to seem as though he did.

Trying not to worry over the possible half-hearted offer of friendship, Masahiro focused on the group as Kousuke led him forward with a gentle touch on his shoulder. It was just as warm as it had been during the audition when it had rested on his head instead of his shoulder. He tried not to think about it or the fact that it was most likely just as much an act as the touch at the audition had been. Kousuke was most likely leading him forward this way to show off some kind of united front before the rest of the cast, letting them all know that they were the two leads. But damn... it really did sting.

When they were close enough, someone called out to Kousuke and the entire tone of the group shifted. It went from friendly greetings and chatter, to silence, to complete chaos in under a minute. The nonsense that the man spewed without seeming to think about anything was confusing and alienating. Obviously he and Kousuke were close with the way they ribbed each other, and it was enough to make Masahiro wish he were somewhere else. Anywhere else. As long as he didn't have to watch the single person he knew get snatched away and leave him to fend for himself.

But then, somehow, it got worse. When the man finally took notice of him, he blurted out something so ridiculous that it had Masahiro freezing on the spot. Cheating?! Did they have that kind of relationship? Did it look like he and Kousuke did?! What about him had given off that sort of vibe? Just the hand on his shoulder that Kousuke had already, regrettably, dropped?

After Kousuke introduced him, Masahiro tried to smile, but his inner turmoil twisted it into more of a grimace.

"You must be a friend of Ohshiba-san's," he said with as much politeness as he could muster. "It's nice to meet you. I guess if you're here, it means you are on the cast?"

It was awkward and stilted, he knew, but he also didn't want to alienate himself any further by asking what in the hell was up with this guy. He would just hope that whatever the deal was between him and Kousuke, the misunderstanding would be cleared up. It wouldn't really be helpful if everyone thought he got the role because he was somehow, impossibly, Kousuke's lover. Not that anyone should think that. Just... look at the two of them. Kousuke was gorgeous, a work of art just standing still in the hallway. Masahiro on the other hand... well, he couldn't lie to himself. Even if he had the money for fancy haircuts and nice clothes and didn't dye his hair in his kitchen sink, no one was going to look at him with any level of attraction. It just wasn't who he was.

"Um, Ko-... Ohshiba-san," he corrected himself, not wanting to seem overly friendly when his actual friend had suggested they might have something going on, "I think I'll head into the meeting room. You should catch up with your friend."

#((Going through a lot of emotions but finally settling down #((I hope this is okay it feels like a bit of a mess #kouslut #//i'll never leave you #;;actor au

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inbarfink · 3 years ago

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So... on the one hand, I do consider the whole "Ralsei is the Darkner representation of Kris' memories of Asriel" to be the most likely theory I've heard so far on the topic of What the Hell Ralsei Even Is (I certainly believe it more than him being a Lightner and\or Asriel in a silly hat). But... even with this theory, I do actually see One Big Problem With It. Which is... Ralsei isn't actually all that much like Asriel.

And by that I mean, from what we've heard about him, Ralsei doesn't seem a lot like the Deltarune version of Asriel. Like, a lot of the similarities between Asriel and Ralsei only come from the Undertale version of Asriel. If we actually look at it from Kris' perspective, as a person who presumably only knows the Deltarune timeline, a lot of the parallels seem to fade. Such as him holding the title of a "Prince" and using reversed-versions of some of Flowey's qoutes.

From what we've heard about Asriel Deltarune so far, we know he shares the following traits with Ralsei:

Asriel seems to have kept his sensitive ‘crybaby’ status from his Undertale counterpart and Ralsei is likewise a very gentle soul.

Asriel and Ralsei are both generally friendly and nice to everyone they meet.

Asriel and Ralsei kinda look a like???

Although even here there’s a few problems”

For once, even though Ralsei seems very delicate - he’s actually not really one to cry. Even when he’s clearly distraught, he powers through it and\or puts on a fake smile and tries to pretend everything is alright. He’s clearly much more of a “conceal don’t feel” kinda Goat compared to Asriel.

Asriel’s friendliness seems to have resulted in an outgoing and confident attitude that made him very popular across Hometown. Ralsei is extremely socially awkward and lacking in self-confidence about social situations as a result of living in total loneliness until Kris and Susie arrived. His friendly nature seems to be kind of a result of just how desperate he is to have friends and to be liked.

We also don’t exactly know just how much Ralsei and Asriel really resemble each other. Partially because we haven’t SEEN Asriel Deltarune yet, and partially because with the artstyle... it’s kinda hard to say if Ralsei looks just like Asriel... or just like a member of Kris’ family in general. I mean, Susie even says Ralsei looks like their mom and could pass for their cousin.

There’s other differences as well, like his age (being around Kris’ age rather than their older brother) and general physicality (If College-Age Asriel Deltarune looks like a less Dramatic Version of Asriel Dreemurr’s Ultimate God of Hyperdeath’s form - than this means he is much larger than Kris. Even without that assumption, Boss Monsters are generally physically larger than humans and Kris seems to be short for their age, so Asriel being the physically bigger sibling would make sense. Meanwhile, Ralsei seems to be around the same height as Kris, maybe even a bit shorter?)

So then I thought... what if it’s less just a manifestation of Kris’ memories of Asriel and more a manifestation of resentment towards their older brother?

What if, deep-down, Kris feels resentful of their brother’s confidence and popularity and independence... and rather than wishing that they could be like him, they secretly wish for an Asriel who is even ‘less’ than them.

A version of Asriel who is smaller than them, a version who is even more lonely and isolated and socially awkward than they are.

A version of Asriel that’s so desperate for any sort of social connection that he’s just extremely emotionally dependant on Kris - like Kris feels they’ve been on Asriel - and will never ever want to ‘abandon’ them to go to college.

(does this imply that Kris is also jealous of Asriel’s emotional openness and that’s why Ralsei represses everything? Maybe???)

It’s not a very nice thought to have and I think... maybe Kris knows that, and maybe that’s why they’re kinda cold on Ralsei?

Like, they do seem to love their brother very much, they don’t WANT to think “man, I wish he was an anxious friendless loser who only has me for company”, they’re probably not proud of these kind of thoughts. And than the magic of the Dark World went into their subconscious and scooped up this resentment that they secretly have and turned it into a Whole Boy? That’s gotta cause some Weird Feelings in Kris.

If the Dark World and Darkners are made of dreams, than Ralsei is less of a pleasant dream of childhood memories, he is the sort of fucked up dream you wake up from like “MAN I am really afraid of what it said about me that my subconscious chose to create this dream for me”. But Kris can’t just ignore it, Ralsei isn’t a fleeting dream they can just forget.

And every time Ralsei confides with Kris on some identity problem or emotional issue he has, Kris just thinks that it’s THEIR fault, it’s because of THEM that Ralsei had to be so lonely and confused. Because they had to be stupid-jealous at their big brother who has always been good to them.

Like, I would have problems bonding with the guy under that situation too.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #kris #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #ralsei #ralsei deltarune #asriel #asriel dreemurr #asriel deltarune

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yougotthat-write · 3 years ago

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Tinder (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: Female reader, fluff, Rollisi shenanigans, cringey and inappropriate pick-up lines, potential PTSD for former/current users of dating apps and all the awkwardness that ensues from it :)

Summary: Amanda and Sonny try to find the perfect match for their uptight (and while he would never admit it - lonely) A.D.A.

Read on AO3 here!

It had started off as a joke, really.

Rafael Barba would never sign up onto a dating app if it wasn’t against his will. When he heard the snickering of Amanda and Sonny when he stopped by the 16th precinct, his feet couldn’t help themselves but bring him over to the two detectives.

Amanda bit her cheek to settle herself as the ADA’s polished shoes made their way over. Sonny’s ears turned pink at the tips, which gave Rafael the tell-tale sign that Sonny and Amanda were up to no good.

Hands in his pockets, Rafael quipped, “What?”

Amanda and Sonny exchanged glances. The silence between the two was not a normal thing but when Rafael asked a second time - more aggressive - Sonny held out a cell phone to the lawyer. Rafael’s brows went up in question but when Sonny motioned him to take it, Rafael grabbed it. Looking down at the device, the screen lit up and a plethora of information singed itself into his brain.

Rafael Barba, 37

Manhattan, NY

Assistant District Attorney

Oh baby, I’ll give you so much due process, standing will be the only issue.

Rafael’s eyes widened at the dumb pick-up line. His thumb swiped through the photos. One was of an appearance on the news - dressed up in a suit on the steps of the courthouse with a furrowed brow and serious look on his face. One was him at Forlini’s - scowling over the rim of his bourbon while sitting at the bar next to a grinning Sonny. He remembered when Amanda took this picture. It was the day he told Sonny he could be his second chair. Another picture showed him actually smiling - dressed in a Tom Ford tuxedo, champagne flute in one hand while the other was resting on the waist of his date for that night. She was an oil company lobbyist that he hooked up with sometimes when she wasn’t in D.C.

“What is this?” Rafael’s eyes hardened as he looked up at the two detectives. Sonny flinched at Rafael’s tone. Amanda simply blinked at Rafael. She wasn’t one to deal with attitude willingly but given how uptight Rafael could be sometimes, she was letting it slide. Rafael’s eyes went back down to the dating profile and he felt an annoyance bubble within him. “What the hell is this?”

“Calm down,” Amanda said as she grabbed the phone back with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just a dating profile.”

“Of me!” Rafael looked at Amanda like she was speaking some foreign, alien language. “Why does it exist?”

Sonny’s face seemed to become more pink. A hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing it as his mentor for all intents and purposes became more annoyed. “We just thought it would be fun-”

“You thought it would be fun impersonating a Manhattan A.D.A.!” Rafael’s voice was raised. A few passing officers gave some glances to the group. Amanda waved a dismissive hand to one of them, letting them know that Rafael wasn’t someone to worry about when angry. “You’re lucky I don’t have you arrested.”

Amanda snorted, “We were going to tell you about it when we got you a date.”

“Yeah,” Sonny added, “we just thought you were stressed lately and needed someone to... ya know.”

If looks could kill, Rafael Barba would have murdered two very well-liked and very hard working detectives right then and there in a New York police precinct. He would have to tell Olivia that she would be short staffed for god knows how long.

Rafael’s fingers came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, taking a hard breath before looking back at the detectives. “You think I need your help getting laid?”

Sonny’s mouth gaped like a goldfish, trying to find words but nothing seemed to make itself at home in his pretty little head. He looked over at Amanda with wide eyes, hoping for her to smooth over the situation. Amanda simply shrugged her shoulders, “It’s not that we think you can’t get laid, Counselor,” she paused, eyes almost sympathetic and it made Rafael’s nostrils flare, “you just haven’t had… anyone around… long-term, you know?”

“I’m struggling to find where this is any of your concern,” Rafael pointed a finger at the two of them, “or why you would think I would find it on a dating app.” Rafael’s mind was flooding with things to make the lives of these two detectives a living hell. Maybe if he pulled some strings with Olivia, she’d put them on desk duty for a few weeks. “I want it deleted - get rid of it!”

Amanda held the device out of the prosecutor’s reach, giving him a few nods of understanding but she needed to tell him of one important thing, “But before we do that, you should know that there’s someone who matched with you-” Sonny nodded enthusiastically, “and she messaged you - us? - back.”

“It’s why we were laughing,” Sonny’s smile faltered when met with the fiery gaze of Rafael. He cleared his throat before continuing, “we found the dumb pick-up line on the internet and she shot back with one of her own.”

Rafael’s fire was lessened with the mention of a match. And she happened to message him? Amanda stepped closer to Rafael, finger mindlessly swiping from one screen and to another. There Rafael had seen the actual large amount of messages he was getting. “Seems like more than one match.” He muttered under his breath. And while this whole ordeal wasn’t something he necessarily wanted, the temporary boost of his ego made his shoulders straighten and his tongue dart over his lower lip.

“You’re very popular, Counselor,” Amanda’s brows wagged.

“But we like her the most,” Sonny said, “she seems fun!”

Rafael’s eyes rolled, before they settled on Amanda’s phone.

Are you the Court of Appeals because I’m tryna get overturned.

After he read the message, he couldn’t help the snicker. Back in his Harvard days, Rafael had heard just about every dumb pick-up line you could think of that was in the realm of lawyers. He may have even used a few of them but could you blame the guy. Rafael watched Amanda switch over to your profile.

Rafael swallowed. And then he grabbed the phone out of Amanda's hands. She let out a protest but Rafael had taken a few steps away and studied your profile like it was a law book and he had a final the next day.

It stated your name and your age. Then the same location as Rafael - Manhattan, NY. Your job was stated simply as a lawyer. Huh. That certainly piqued Rafael’s interest. In your bio, you had:

What better alibi could you have than spending the night with me?

He swiped through your photos. One was of you at the Central Park Zoo, scowling at a monkey who was seemingly doing the same thing back at you. Another was of you at a bar or a club - one arm thrown over the shoulder of another woman and a fruity drink held in your free hand. Your attention was focused on your drink rather than your friend or the person taking the picture. The last photo was of you at a brunch of some kind. You held up a mimosa with a wide smile and a large sun hat atop your head.

“Did you say anything back?” Rafael asked. Amanda shook her head with a smirk. You were certainly attractive and if you had taken the time to message Rafael on the cursed app then you must have thought that he was attractive too. He went back to the message you sent and swallowed again. “W-what should I say?”

Amanda’s smirk didn’t falter as she stepped over to Rafael, plucking the phone out of his frozen hands. Rafael heard the speedy tapping of the blonde woman’s fingers, tapping out a message quickly. Sonny stepped over, peeking down over Amanda’s shoulder. Rafael watched Sonny’s face as it went from curiosity to what Amanda was writing and to a lopsided smile, essentially giving his approval of the message.

Rafael didn’t like the idea of Sonny approving anything of his - especially if it came to how he got a date but he patiently waited until a swoosh noise came from the phone. Rafael stepped over to see what she had written but Amanda’s fingers were quick with logging out of the app and swiftly deleting it off her phone.

“Hey-” Rafael couldn’t stop the protest from his lips, brows furrowed. Amanda ignored him, grabbing a sticky note and a pen. She scrawled the login information for the account and slapped it onto his chest.

“I don’t want it on my phone if that conversation starts to get dirty,” Amanda said. Sonny chuckled.

“I think it started out pretty fiery.”

Rafael held the sticky note in his fingers. He could feel his phone in his suit pocket. It felt hot and electric against him, even through all the layers of clothes he wore. “Nevertheless, I’m deleting the account,” he looked over the two detectives with a hard gaze, “and you are to never to do this again. Or else I will be put in jail for voluntary manslaughter.” Amanda swiftly ignored Rafael’s threat whereas Sonny seemed to take it more seriously. The lanky man gave a nod before settling himself at his desk.

Rafael stepped away from the detectives’ desks and dug his phone out from his pocket. His fingers twitched and he felt this wave of embarrassment wash over him as he searched the app’s name and watched it download onto his phone. It seemed to take hours for the dumb thing to fully be situated onto his device. He tapped it, used the sticky note information to log in and was greeted with new profiles to swipe across. He ignored them and went to his messages to see what the pesky blonde detective had said. He hoped it wasn’t something too inappropriate. The last thing Rafael needed was headlines of him sexually harassing women over social media.

He hesitated for a second before tapping on the messages with you. He took a deep breath. He felt nervous. Was it because of the potential can of worms that Amanda could have unleashed? Was it because he found you attractive? Was it because the two detectives were right and it had been a while since he’s had anyone around? While Rafael was capable of finding a temporary suitor to share his bed, he couldn’t find anyone to become something more permanent.

His eyes searched the screen, brain trying to quickly decipher the jumble of letters on his screen. “Ay Dios mío,” Rafael muttered under his breath and the grip on his phone tightened. Rafael thought he read the message a dozen times, just over and over again, trying to really see if Amanda truly did send this to you. He tapped various spaces on his phone, trying to see if there was an undo button but to no avail, the message taunted him.

Something something dictum. Sleep with me.

Rafael was caught off guard by Olivia who called his name from her office door. Rafael cleared his throat, slid his phone back into his pocket with one hand and slid the other down his chest, smoothing out any wrinkles in his shirt. Rafael finally remembered why he was there at the precinct. He needed to do his job and watch a line-up be conducted. Olivia had sounded very confident over the phone, so he figured he had a simple day.

He had spent the rest of his day watching various victims come forward to pick out their attacker confidently. When the defense lawyer monotonously asked to speak with his client after the lineups were done, Rafael felt his phone buzz. For a brief moment, Rafael had forgotten the dating app debacle. He wondered if it was Carmen, telling him of more paperwork and messages that needed to be signed and answered.

But no, it wasn’t Carmen.

It was a notification from the stupid app.

You have a new message!

Rafael bit down on his bottom lip, finger hovering over the notification. He took a breath and tapped his phone. God, what is wrong with me? Grow some cojones, Barba. Rafael watched the screen load and then plaster your message into his line of vision.

Ah, this definitely is a catfish account because there’s no way an ADA would use a line like that.

Rafael smirked. Took a moment to think and then started to type.

The DA has very low standards these days.

You messaged back quickly.

If they’re hiring based on looks, then I’d say they have very high standards, Counselor.

Rafael’s hand lifted to scratch at his jaw, a smile breaking across his face. His eyes widened at another message from you.

Does the prosecution want to rest at my place later tonight?

The forwardness from you made Rafael’s smile turn into a smirk. If Olivia or Sonny had seen him, they would even consider to call it a cocky smirk.

Would you want to meet for drinks first or just take this back to chambers?

I suppose I could side-bar for some drinks.

Great!

He paused before sending another message.

Let’s just agree to not use any more lawyer puns.

Objection!

After setting up a time to meet up at a swanky bar later that night, Rafael entered the bullpen again but with an air of confidence about him. Amanda noticed the shift in energy within the counselor. The corner of her mouth ticked up, fingers fiddling with a pen as she leaned back in her chair, side-eyeing Rafael. “Line-up went well?”

Rafael picked a piece of nonexistent lint off his suit jacket. “It went great, Rollins.” She hummed quietly, eyes studying every inch of his face with amusement.

“We’re heading to Forlini’s tonight,” Amanda stated, “would you like to come?” At the mention of Forlini’s, Sonny peeked over at the two of them from his laptop.

Rafael gave one curt shake of his head. “I’m afraid I’m busy tonight.” And with that, Rafael had turned and exited the bullpen and towards the elevator. Even though he hated it in theory of what Amanda and Sonny did, Rafael couldn’t deny that he didn’t not like the outcome of it.

#rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fic #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fluff #rafael barba #raul esparza #raúl esparza #law and order fanfiction #law and order #law and order svu #svu #svu fic #rollisi #amanda rollins #sonny carisi #esparz-uh

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takadasaiko · 3 years ago

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Mind if I, uh... ride with you for a while?

----

Hats off to Jon McDonald who wrote/directed this movie. I love the story between Ruckus and Vista so much. Here’s this man: brilliant and awkward, corralled by a PR team that he trusts to give him advice in the social situations that he clearly doesn’t understand when it comes to the two children that he cared enough about to legally adopt after his invention turned them into superheroes.

And you have Vista: young and scarred and likely abandoned by someone before Ruckus ever found her. She doesn’t know how to connect with the man that is supposed to be her new father and he doesn’t know how to connect with his new daughter. I can’t help but imagine she was trying to preemptively protect herself every time she ran away... she’d leave before he did.

But she never saw the way he was when the cameras were off and the PR team wasn’t there to whisper in his ear. She never saw the quirky smile as he wakes up to realize that his little girl fell asleep there or just how sweet and innocent she is. She never saw the way the held her close and protected her in the only way he knew how, giving her a gift to bring her home in the same way his own parent had tried to provide him with the same. In those quiet moments when no one was looking, that’s who he was. She just never knew that in her own childhood.

This story is incredible. Three cheers for everyone involved in bringing it to life.

#The Hyperions #The Hyperions Spoilers #Ruckus Mandulbaum #Vista Mandulbaum

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charcubed · 4 years ago

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Celebrities’ sexualities/relationships, and what not to post where

I’m going to make an all-purpose, general post about this topic, because it seems like there’s value in making one. Anyone who’s been following me here or on Twitter long enough has seen me address this before but often in specific scenarios, but y’know what... let me just make a general all-purpose post too just to lay this out for the sake of my own sanity.

We all know this is a thing: people like to speculate on celebrities’ sexualities and/or participate in “real person fiction” (RPF), and that’s been happening since the dawn of fandom. On some level, I understand why; it's exciting to think a celebrity might be queer especially if YOU are. We all want role models & we all want that to be normalized, etc... and sometimes it’s a case of “like recognizes like”; queer people can spot other queer people. But whether or not one is “correct” doesn’t matter, and either way, celebrities' lives are not for our consumption. They do not exist for our entertainment or speculation. This kind of talk can get out of hand very quickly in a way that ruins the lives of real people.

So I am here to remind people to be mindful of what you say about celebrities, where you say it, and HOW you say it too.

For example: under no circumstances should you openly post things about celebrities’ sexuality or relationships on Twitter.

If you know this already, cool! Great! Good! Keep scrolling! But not everyone does know this, and either way, it’s always a good reminder–especially because people can get excited in the heat of a moment and these principles can easily accidentally fly out of the window.

Not all social media is “equal” or carries the same weight of potential real world consequence. Tumblr, for example, tends to influence little outside of here as long as the topic in question stays on Tumblr; AO3 fic stays on AO3, or at least it should. But Instagram comments or tweets do not exist in a vacuum or echo chamber the way people often seem to think, and often route back to the celebrities in question in harmful ways. Those platforms are open to the wider world in a way that can translate to very real consequence for the people being discussed.

What do I mean by that? A good example of how things can get unintended attention is what happened recently when memes about Misha Collins and Bill Clinton got out of hand, made their way to Twitter, and resulted in journalists writing articles that Misha felt he needed to address. On a more related note, recently Brie Larson made one offhand gay joke/reference in a personal Youtube video; it then trended worldwide and resulted in many articles too. There is now, unfortunately, high potential that she could be asked about and pressured about her sexuality in interviews in future. Did any of the people tweeting about those topics expect that to happen? Probably not, and yet it did. But these are good examples of how Twitter algorithms have vastly shifted, and keyword use is enough for things to easily and quickly trend outside of fandom’s intentions or control in ways that cause harm.

Putting any celebrities’ personal lives under a microscope, whether unintentionally or otherwise, is never a good idea. But it’s especially not a good idea when it comes to sexualities or personal relationships.

People will say “Shipping is just in the fandom! We know how to behave! What’s the problem? It’s never gone wrong before.” The problem is multilayered, but here are the main issues: the fact that nothing “bad” has happened before does not mean it never will. You can control your behavior, but you cannot control how other people–especially people who are new to your fandom–may or may not behave on the wider internet surrounding the topic of people's personal lives. Posting about it on main on somewhere like Twitter also inherently runs the risk of other outside parties seeing it, being like “what’s all this then?” and then picking it up and running with it further–whether that be ~haters~ or journalists.

People will also say “These celebrities know about this kind of fandom talk and they don’t care!” or “If the celebrities wanted us to stop this, they’d have said something by now!” To that I say: those are a lot of assumptions, when the only “assumption” one should realistically make is that we don’t know celebrities personally, we don’t know if they may or may not be actually closeted/unlabeled (which is their right!), and we don’t know what may make them uncomfortable while other things may not. The absence of "no" or "stop" isn't equivalent to "yes," nor is it citable as defense for questionable or potentially harmful behavior. Silence isn't blanket approval or consent, nor should it be assumed to be in any situation. Just because celebrities haven’t said in so many words “Please stop doing [this specific thing]” doesn’t mean they are automatically cool with whatever a fandom is doing, such as speculating about them or openly pointing out what they think they know about their sexualities or relationships. This includes posts on the wider timeline, or tweets and Instagram comments @ celebrities themselves filled with references or assumptions about their lives that are very not okay.

Even with something like Brie Larson’s situation... A celebrity making a joke or acting a certain way in one environment where they may feel comfortable or more relaxed–like a Youtube video, or a convention with fans, or anything else–does not mean that that celebrity expects or wants worldwide eyes on their behavior. And worldwide attention is what is always at risk on platforms like Twitter or Instagram.

Ultimately, overanalyzing and calling attention to people’s actions is how people who are allies can be made to feel awkward, or how people who are queer get outed or forced into labels. I literally live in fear of the day when some random journalist starts poking around specific fandoms/celebrities, connects the dots that are out there and are seemingly easy to connect, and then somehow makes their sexuality a topic of interviews. Once it becomes a Topic, it becomes nearly unavoidable for them. That’s what happened to Lee Pace; it’s how many people are forced to come out. At all times, queer celebrities are a stone’s throw away from having to deal with all of that in ways no one should, especially as they get more famous. If you care about any celebrity you like to talk about, or if you care about the privacy of real people at all in the ways you should (especially potentially queer people), this should be a point of concern for you.

So, in conclusion: be mindful. If you must talk about celebrities’ lives on something like Twitter, do it without using their actual names to avoid keywords, because they trend at the drop of a hat out of nowhere and that can ruin lives. Avoid deliberate repetition in your phrases because that’s how accidental trends are made. And, better yet, honestly? Consider just keeping that kind of talk to Tumblr/AO3, and preferably to personal private messages.

Your ability to fangirl/squee/celebrate a real person’s life is not more important than their right to privacy. Ever. This is not a petty topic and it is not “fandom policing” to say things like this out of concern. Acting from an abundance of caution is always the better way to go, because you lose nothing by being extra vigilant; the alternative of not being cautious enough comes with a high risk of negative consequence.

If we all just operate under the knowledge that talking about real people can translate to real consequences for real lives, and act with an abundance of respect/caution accordingly, then there will be nothing to worry about. And celebrities will get to live their private lives and (if this is applicable) be the authors of their own coming out journeys as they see fit, which is a right everyone should have.

From the bottom of my heart: just use both your empathy and your brain cells, please.

#celebrities #RPF #I logged on and I see people vagueposting about one specific actors' sexuality and my hairs stood on end #I know this post is long but I'd appreciate it if you'd reblog it #because this keeps coming up and it keeps BEING A PROBLEM and I am AFRAID FOR MANY CELEBRITIES #BUT ESPECIALLY A FEW WE SHALL NOT BE NAMING AT THIS TIME #please it costs $0 to be smart about this #I am once again begging people to be normal about this!!!!!!#char writes things

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gravesightings · 4 years ago

Note

Sure I can!!! Sorry for not giving details, I always do this 🤦🏻‍♂️! I actually had to google the meaning because english isn't my first language and in every site meant something different (with some similarities ofc), so i don't even know if dork is the word. But it's a silly s/o, who behaves slightly awkward, laughs of dumb or stupid things and tend to make jokes that only dads do, still they like being like this and love the feeling their personality cause in others.

hey, it’s no problem! thank you for elaborating. I appreciate it! 💞

slashers with a silly/dorky s/o.

Asa Emory / The Collector

socially awkward? same hat!

seeing someone slightly a bit more socially inept than him would cause him to take charge of the situation. awkward silence who?

paranoid as usual. what if someone happens to take advantage of you? he simply cannot have that. here, keep one of his dogs with you at all times.

big fan of the dad jokes so you might actually hear him laugh! but he’ll quickly try to brush it off and act like nothing happened.

tolerant of your antics as long as you don’t hurt yourself. if you’re observant enough you might catch him trying not to smile at you.

Billy Lenz

sweet piggy, silly piggy! billyboy is also a big fan!

billy doesn’t catch certain social cues so it’s as if you’re never awkward to begin with.

while he thinks some of your jokes aren’t that funny, he’ll laugh anyways! that’s how much he loves you, see?

pretty straightforward. that includes both complimenting you and some of his other interesting comments. haha you’re weird and your jokes are for old people! he likes that!

naturally joins you when he sees you laughing at something dumb. do you like victim people-watching? snicker along with him when a victim does something embarrassing in private.

Bo Sinclair

bo definitely thinks it’s cute! you remind him of vincent in a way except you’re actually funny.

catch him full-on belly laughing at your dad jokes. turns out he has the exact same type of humor! he only stopped making jokes because his brothers think he’s not funny.

now that he has you around, you’re both busting dad jokes and un-funny puns.

a little awkward with him? that’s alright. a hard smack on the back will do the trick. bo’s quite the charmer so he’ll have you comfy with him in no time.

the type to tell you up-front that you’re a little weird but “in a good way.”

Brahms Heelshire

this recluse wouldn’t have a damn clue if you happen to be slightly weird. there’s no socializing to be done in the walls, after all.

just thinks you’re shy and maybe a little odd? but he has manners! and he knows not to call you that out loud. he’s a good boy, you see.

the jokes are ....not very funny to him... but he’s not gonna say that either! you know why? that’s right! because he’s a good boy.

might give you a pity laugh from time to time because otherwise he feels bad.

but! brahmsy’s very on-board with laughing at dumb things. invites you to sit with him by the window and points out a rat rolling around in the garden. oh! there it goes!

Bubba Sawyer

you’re so cute!!! bubby makes sure to “compliment” you a lot by babbling at you softly and petting your head at the same time.

unfortunately he’s a little slow when it comes to the jokes so he can’t appreciate them as much...

honestly it’s hard to tell if he’s into it or not because bubba’s always smiling around you anyways. did he get one of your jokes or is he just happy to spend time with you? who knows.

you know who would appreciate the jokes and the antics though? choptop and nubbins.

drayton’s lifespan would be halved. he’s already got his hands full with the two troublemakers, and now you too?

Jason Voorhees

jason thinks you’re positively adorable! expect frequent head pats from this man.

like asa, he’s a bit of a paranoid so he makes sure to always keep an eye on you. you’re too sweet for this world and bad people might hurt you for it!

also a fan of the dad jokes! “hey jason, what’s a fish with no eye? ...a fsh.” cue muffled chuckling. gives you a thumbs up - jason’s seal of approval.

because big boy is a sweetheart, he’ll fake a laugh even if he doesn’t find it funny. also he’s given a thumbs up to all your jokes. all of them.

not one to laugh at dumb things but cares about you enough to want to know about it. tree stump shaped like a butt? hm you’re right. why are you laughing? ? how is it funny???

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

jesse also thinks it’s cute but in a condescending way.

“hey jesse, what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? ....sneakers!” deep sigh.

like the true gentleman he is, he would never leave you hanging no matter how bad your jokes are. mostly he’ll just shake his head and give an exaggerated sigh.

once he had pulled out his knife and handed it to you, asking you to “please end his misery,” after you had told him the impasta joke.

definitely the type to give sarcastic comments such as “please not another one, I’m already dying of laughter,” or “you’re putting other comedians out of business.”

Michael Myers

no reaction as always. just grumpier than usual.

bastard hands mcmike thinks it’s dumb and you’re dumb, so naturally he’s going to follow you wherever you go. y’know, just in case someone decides to abduct you.

completely lost in thought while you’re ripping out all your killer jokes. why are you like this? internally decides he’s going to repeat the process again tomorrow.

thinks it’s a serious problem and if you keep at it, he’s going to get creative. would you behave if he just... throws a sheet over you?

would listen to you sometimes and you’d automatically know by his dramatic sighs.

Thomas Hewitt

tommy’s very socially awkward so he’d probably be more relaxed around you, if anything.

not as generous with pity-laughing but he’ll give you a good pat on the head for effort.

surprisingly sassy? tommy's actually very expressive despite not being able to talk, so more often than not he’s giving you a look that says “you need to get better jokes.”

or sometimes giving you a sarcastic sigh, followed by the rumble of his chest. that doesn’t count! he was laughing at the situation, not at your joke!

it’s hard to make the big man laugh so don’t get too discouraged. however, he does find it difficult not smile at you every time you try.

Vincent Sinclair

oh.. honey, no. vincent’s too nice for his own good so he’d be overly supportive of anything and everything you do.

dad jokes? groan. but if you’re the one making them? he’ll make the effort to chuckle, at the very least. (bo complaining in the background about how vinny doesn’t laugh at his jokes.)

can’t help but find it oddly endearing. this man is a hopeless romantic so he’d be praising you any chance he gets.

his praising method is the same as bubba’s - only vincent hums fondly at you instead of babbling.

it’s not easy to make vincent laugh either but he doesn’t want to discourage you from trying so he’ll just keep faking it and hope you get better.

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fellowstrangetownappreciator · 4 years ago

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Curious and autistic-coded

Hello there! April draws to an end and with that I think it’s high time to hurry up and write this. What does April have to do with anything, you ask? April is the Autism Acceptance Month. So what better month to do this?

Unfortunately I didn’t make it. I failed. It’s already 1. 5. when I’m posting this. But at least I tried to deliver on time.

In this mini essay I’ll present my case about why I think the Curious brothers from TS2 Strangetown display autistic-coded traits and my personal takes on it.

It’s basically your average headcanon post but with a funny top hat!

0: Preface: What do I mean by “autistic-coded”?

When a character is coded as something, it means that they have traits that are associated with the demographics in question to make the consumer knowingly or not link the character with the demographic, although the character's "label” is never explicitly disclosed.

In the nutshell, it means that there are canonical reasons to read the characters as autistic, although you won't find the word "autism" anywhere in the game nor in the developer's commentary.

In this particular case I do believe that the developer may not even be aware of the code, as there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If there is, I’m not aware of it and I would be happy to learn.

So, let’s start!

1: “The white male who is very good at science”

Unfortunately autistic representation in pop-culture has a long history of being rather straightforward in which traits the characters often have. This stems from the belief that autism is “a boy’s disorder” (that’s why some autism charities to this day use blue in their symbols). Among popular examples of autistic-coded characters are Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper and Death Note’s L and Near. I’m sure you can think of more but you’ll find that most of them are men and either explicitly white or racially ambiguous white-passing. They also tend to be gifted in tech, logic or other science-y activities.

There’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being an autistic with those “stereotypical” characteristics and there is nothing wrong with people being represented. What is wrong is the monotony and afab people/people of color being underrepresented which leads (among other factors) to harder access to diagnosis and resources for those people in real life. But! That’s a topic for a different day. (and not for a simbrl, mind you)

Back to the Curiouses! I just wanted to say that autism in media is traditionally associated with characters whose gender presentation, race and interests align with theirs. Those characteristic thus make a very convenient template for autistic-coding.

2: Inconsistent performance, huge gaps between strengths and weaknesses

Pascal, Vidcund and Lazlo are very skilled Sims by default, extraordinarily even for their age. Pascal has a skill maxed while his younger brothers both near maxing theirs.

But as you can see in Pascal’s default skill panel, apart from Creativity, all his other skills are extremely low, 0 points for Mechanical, Body and Charisma, 1 point for Cooking and Logic and his second best skill, Cleaning, has only 3 points. The same situation can be observed in Vidcund’s and Lazlo’s, except their strong suits are Logic and Cooking respectively.

Huge discrepancies within performance in different cognitive areas is a common trait found in those on the autism spectrum. We’re often talking extremes here and the scale of the difference is the defining factor. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s just in neurodivergent people those tend to be unusually noticeable.

I think that skills, simplified as they are, are the closest The Sims has to possibly simulate that because they track the character’s performance and expertise in different areas and allow comparison. In real life, of course, this comparison is not nearly as possible and exact, nor desired, but for all our analysis-loving enthusiasm, here we’re still talking fictional characters.

3: Struggle with social cues

It is widely known that one of autistic traits are difficulties with processing social situations, picking social cues and successfully replicating socially desired behavioral patterns.

But these three are Sims, are they not? They cannot possibly display this trait, since they’re programmed the same way as others.

Yes and no.

It is true that there is no specific in-game feature that would allow Sims to behave with explicit neurodivergency in mind* but with the right combination of traits they can simulate behavior that really hits close to home for neurodivergent players.

*at least not in TS2, TS3 has traits that simulate some possible neurodivergencies but their names tend to be rather... ableist unfortunate and they’re not relevant to this post since they’re not autism related, and even if they were, we’re focusing on TS2 exclusively

Let’s take look at Lazlo here. He is, indeed, a playful soul. He likes to goof around, tell jokes, make others laugh. And since he’s very close to his brother Vidcund, close enough even to Tell Dirty Joke (an interaction that needs quite a high relationship to unlock), he autonomously does just that.

And oh boy, does Vidcund disapprove.

From my personal experience playing them, their relationship usually takes quite a hit from every cheeky joke Lazlo throws Vid’s way. They usually autonomously repair it very quick but it happens often.

But that’s a standard behavior. Vidcund’s very serious, he doesn’t take well to jokes.

No. I mean technically yes, Vid is definitely a grumpy old plant dad but, at least in my game, he tends to accept Lazlo’s jokes. All kinds of them, actually, except for the dirty ones. And Pascal, who technically has even lower Playful points (0 in comparison to Vidcund’s 4), doesn’t seem to mind Lazlo’s poor attempts at grown-up humor.

But! What is it that makes Lazlo try still? What drives him to attempt to make Vidcund laugh with a dirty joke over and over again? (and fail?)

I my interpretation, Lazlo doesn’t do that on purpose, he is just really poor at evaluating “dirtiness” of a given joke and frequently misinterprets Vidcund’s cues. The animation of a dirty joke being rejected even supports that as Vid doesn’t signal his discomfort with any exaggerated easy-to-read facial expression until Lazlo gets to his punchline.

No only that but as I mentioned, the invisible lines between spicy and too vulgar are often hard to thread. I can recall many times I thought I was saying a witty quip on an “adult” topic and was met with awkward silence or someone shushing me because “that’s not how you speak in public”. I can well imagine myself in Lazlo’s shoes.

A situation of social cues being misinterpreted or ignored can be observed also in Vidcund. Programming-wise, those are just his low Niceness and extreme Shyness showing but combined they again paint a picture of a very neurodivergent-looking behavioral pattern.

He often behaves like the concept of politeness or social rules doesn’t exist because the combination of the aforementioned traits makes him come off very blunt (lecturing and shoving telescope-peepers with no warning whatsoever) and distant (having a high chance of rejecting simple small-talk socials).

(That’s Jasmine Rai casting the “Summon Vidcund” spell.)

Yes, I am fully aware that it makes a stronger case for him being an a**hole than autistic but... there’s no reason he can’t be both. Not all autistic people are sweet cinnamon buns, all personalities you can think of can be neurodiverse and, for some their neurodiversity can even amplify their inconsiderate ways, as I believe it is the case with our dear grouch Vidcund.

4. Their bios

“No matter what happens, Pascal believes there is a logical explanation for everything. In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis and collects conspiracy theories.”

(that’s how I imagine practicing psychoanalysis looks like, sorry Freud)

“Serious and exact, Vidcund strives to fit the universe into a nice tidy package. He has an unnatural fondness for African violets.”

(let’s collectively pretend those are African violets)

“Not as studious as his older brothers, Lazlo got his degree in Phrenology. He likes to call phone psychics and spends hours trying to bend forks with his mind.”

*error: screenshot of Lazlo bending forks not found*

(but here he is hanging out with Erin Beaker, the closest thing to “calling phone psychics” you can actually do in-game)

Both Pascal’s and Vidcund’s bios point to a pattern-focused worldview with a strong emphasis on rationality as the center-point that anchors the way they understand the world around them and build their principles on. This “pattern-ization” of thinking is a common autistic trait, with rationality being a popular theme because emotions tend to be difficult to access and asses for many of us.

Lazlo’s biography is an outlier. But it still has something significant in common with those of his brothers: All three of their bios allude to a potential special interest of sorts.

Special interests as an autism-related term are very specific, in-depth and long-term hobbies or areas of expertise that make an autistic person happy and they tend to go to seemingly exhausting lengths, often at the cost of other areas of knowledge and most likely the person’s ability to talk about anything else for a long enough time. (a loving hyperbole, no disrespect meant) Mine are my characters and cats. An even more intense but a short(er)-term passion is called a hyperfixation.

Them potentially having a special interest is yet another possible autistic-coded feature.

5. Wait. Why does it matter?

Right. What does it matter if a Sim (A SIM) (or two or three) is autistic? What do I hope to achieve, pushing my autistic Curiouses agenda down your throats?

I got to write a long rant-piece about some of my favorite TS characters and I feel like I can finally die satisfied.

Apart from that and me sharing my happiness of finding some good pixels I can relate to, it is a matter of representation.

Remember by the very beginning I wrote how most of the representation our community gets in media tends to be just a one specific type of character?

And how the Curious brothers seem to fit the stereotype to a point?

There is something I omitted, something I saved for the last on purpose.

The role. The role in their story, the role in the society the piece of media portrays.

We often see neurodiverse, autistic or autistic-coded character as children, students, villains, lone savants, victims in distress, comedic relief sidekicks, either very vulnerable and needing protection, or detached and having their role defined only by their academic prowess or their special interest/profession.

What we rarely get to see them as, are... parents.

That’s what many of us autistics are or plan to be someday in the future. The dogma around autism has started to dwindle relatively recently and there are little to no examples of autistic adults being the care-givers for once in the media around us.

The Curious brothers are just that. They are chaotic, they are eccentric, they can be a little too much... but they are dutiful and loving fathers/uncles to their little aliens they raise.

They make it work. Even if they face difficulties, even if they don’t exactly fit the standard.

“Sometimes, a family truly can be three brothers raising alien babies, and it’s beautiful.”

It encourages us to define family by love rather than traditional structures and it shows us that portrait of a functional neurodiverse family we need to see.

And goodness, is it a powerful sight.

#the sims 2 #the sims #ts2 #simbrl #pascal curious #vidcund curious #lazlo curious #autism acceptence month #headcanon #actuallyautistic #autistic curiouses agenda #please someone take tumbrl from me

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