#just walking in a circle totally not showing off my pins and my split dyed hair and my ikea shark

[wren-kitchens]

anyone else find themselves trying to flaunt their queerness around someone who you think could be queer cause I sure as hell do

[aspirgallant]

What Heroes Do

The sky was clear, the breeze was soft, and even the nearby mill had gone silent. It was like the whole world was still. You’d never know this was a war zone, Aspir thought to himself. The initial siege had been broken, but he knew that deep in the nearby forest, the White Mantle had managed to persist. There’s nothing I can do about it now. A bitter admission.

He grunted. “No, stop… no good in thinking like that.” But it was so hard in the face of what happened. Aspir reached to his side, feeling air where a limb should have been.

Think about something else. He lifted his only hand towards his right eye, feeling the rough scarring surrounding it. The memories soon came flooding in after.

“Look! He’s bleeding!” one of the older children yelled. Laughter began to spread among them. There was six in total, all looking for some easy thrills. Another spoke up, “that’ll show ya for getting in our way!”

On the ground, with his hands clasped around his injured nose, was the recipient of their insults. After a short moment, Aspir stood back up; sure to place himself between the bullies and the sniffling child behind him. He didn’t know that boy’s name, but he knew it wasn’t right to leave him to the whims of bored pre-teens. “I won’t let you hurt him,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Seriously, you’re getting back up? Fine!” The child closest to Aspir pushed a leg forward, dropping him back to the ground. “Now stay.”

“I’m not afraid of you…” The white-haired boy attempted to lift himself back up, only to find one of the bullies’ feet forcing him down.

“Well ya should be. We got all da-”

“Aspir!? Kid, where’d you run off to now?” It was the familiar voice of a gruff old Norn.

“Ah crap, it’s that bear woman! I think he’s her’s. Run!” As panic set in, the older children dispersed, leaving Aspir alone with the other boy.

The boy walked up to him, trying to hold back tears. He extended a hand to Aspir. “Are you, um, ok? You look really hurt.”

Aspir bent up to look at him. He appeared to be around the same age. Moments prior had Aspir found the boy with his face in the dirt, the other kids pinning him there. The boy was crying. He hated watching others cry. “Yeah. I think,” Aspir said while wiping the blood off his face.

“Um… thank you. That was really nice of you to stop them.”

Aspir smiled, revealing several gaps in his teeth. “It’s just what heroes do!” After uttering those words, both boys turned to face the heavy footsteps coming towards them.

“Aspir! What in the hell happened to you!?” Hilde shouted, already running up to his inspect his face.

—————————————————————————

Aspir tried to cry out, but the hand around his neck prevented him from doing so. “And what do you think you’re doing?” the man pinning him to the wall said. In his other hand was a torch, lighting the alleyway they were in.

Several feet away, another man turned to look at them. “What’s up with the kid, Tom?” He casually bounced a knife around in his hand. Next to him was two other men; one holding the other in place. The latter was terrified, closely eyeing the knife that was intended for him. “We can’t exactly be wasting time here. Seraph are all over the place.”

“Just some brat trying to interfere.” Tom couldn’t help but chuckle as he spoke. “Trying to be a hero.”

The other man rolled his eyes. “A little idiot. Well show him what happens to ‘heroes’ while we take care of business.”

The thug flashed a twisted a grin. “Gladly.” He brought the torch to mere inches from Aspir’s face. The boy began to wriggle desperately as it dawned on him what was about to happen. “This’ll teach you to pick your battles, boy.”

“No! Please!” Aspir pulled at the adult’s hand to no avail. The torch simply came closer, and closer, and closer…

—————————————————————————

“C’mon Aspir! Closer!” Hilde commanded as the 13 year old lunged at her. Despite her size, she easily dodged him. “You’re not gonna beat anyone a mile away.”

“Well it’d help if you weren’t like, a 100 feet tall!” Aspir dashed forward in an attempt to close the distance between them. When he swung his sword, however, he hit nothing but air.

Hilde shook her head in disapproval. “Look, kid, you’re short as a skritt and can barely lift a sack of grain. Not to mention…” she tapped her right eye with her finger. “If you expect to get anywhere as a warrior, you gotta use that speed of yours; and you’ll need much better form to make any use of that.”

Aspir grunted in frustration before slumping to the ground. “It’s been nothing but ‘form’ for the last three years. When do I get to learn some guardian spells? The magic is the cool part!”

“Being a guardian isn’t about being cool. Besides, the magic is useless if you fight like a dying dolyak.” She gazed down at the child, who huffed in response. “Uhg, fine. Come here.”

She kneeled down and pulled Aspir close to her, so that they were face to face. “Close your eyes.” He did as he was told.

“Guardian magic is different from other kinds. Necromancers, elementalists, mesmers; their magic is used to shape the world around them. It’s all external. But guardian magic…” she placed a hand on the boy’s chest. “That’s all about what’s inside. You take those beliefs you hold dearest and make them… real. Now, concentrate.”

“On what?” Aspir said with confusion.

“When you see someone in trouble, what do you feel? What is it you feel in your heart when you know there’s a person who needs your protection?”

He thought hard. He never really payed much attention to himself when he saw someone in danger. He tried to remember. What was it that drove him into harm’s way every time?

He recalled that boy all those years ago, crying as bullies surrounded him. He thought about that man, alone with a trio of thugs and with a knife at his neck. He didn’t like to think about that day.

He started to remember something else. It was always the same urge that pulled him forward into action. His will to save people. It would spread through him. Overcome him. It was like he burned with it.

It’s like fire.

“Open your eyes,” Hilde whispered to him.

As soon as he did, it became apparent what she wanted him to see. Enveloping him was a soft, blue glow. An aegis. Unfortunately, it only lasted for a moment before dissipating into nothingness. “Oh man, I had it!”

“Don’t worry, aegi never last long.” She patted him on the back. “C’mon, you’ve been working hard. How about we give it a rest and grab some ice cream?”

Aspir jumped up in excitement. “Yes!” Filled with energy, he bounded towards the market.

—————————————————————————

He weaved in between stalls, dodging fruit carts and leaping over bushes. Aspir angled his head, ensuring he never lost sight of his target.

Ahead of him was a young woman nimbly running through the market with a coin purse clutched tightly in her hand. It wasn’t her’s, of course. Only a moments before had Aspir witnessed her tugging it out of an elderly woman’s hand before running off with it.

“Stop!” he shouted in some vain attempt to make things just a little easier. First rule of fighting crime: they never stop. Well, at least he tried.

He paused to watch her course. The street they were on took a turn into a parallel one, a row of houses splitting the two. The thief didn’t seem to make much effort to hide, meaning she’d likely just continue running straight through. If Aspir wanted to catch up, he’d need a shortcut.

He quickly ran towards one of the houses and jumped up onto the nearest outcropping, grabbing it and climbing his way up top. From there, he leapt from brick to brick until he finally found himself on the roof of the building. With this view, he easily spotted the thief as she sped her way through the road.

A lump formed in his throat. “This better work,” Aspir said as a solid, blue aura formed around him. He took a deep breath… and then jumped forward.

Aim proving true, he managed to land in front of the thief, the aegis shattering as it absorbed the impact of his fall. In the moment she stood stunned by the sight, Aspir got into a crouching position and pounced her. The two rolled around on the street, locked with one another as they fought over the purse.

Aspir successfully tore it from her hands, holding it up in victory. “Ha! Got you no-”

He didn’t hear the thief pull it from its sheathe, but he certainly felt it when the dagger sliced into his side. Aspir immediately yelped in pain, falling to the opposite side of the wound. Now free, the thief simply got up and looked in horror at what she done, clearly having done it in a panic. She sprinted away, leaving both dagger and purse behind.

Yards away, the purse’s owner made her way through the crowd, going as fast as her feeble legs would allow. She headed towards the circle of spectators that had now formed around Aspir, breaking her way through. “Young man, are you alright? By the gods!” Aspir layed there, pressing his hands against the wound as best as he could.

“Are you all dull! He needs to go the hospital. Move aside, move aside.” She shoved the onlookers out of the way, forming a path for the approaching Seraph, who had caught sight of the scene.  One of them pulled out an emergency roll of bandages, already setting to work on the wound.

“Here.” Aspir held out the purse as he lied there, doing his best to grin as the old woman took it from his hands.

She shook her head. “All this for some coin… at this rate, you’re going to get yourself killed trying to be a hero.”

—————————————————————————

“I’m not going to get myself killed…” Aspir had his hands at his side. He stared intensely at his friend, who stood across the bedroom from him.

“And how do you know that? Have you even heard what’s happening out there?” the other boy questioned as he raised his arms. “The whole continent is swarmed by Mordrem and you want to leave the walls?”

“Erammus, you have to understand…”

“Understand what!? All I understand is that I don’t want to see my best friend go out and become dragon food!” Erammus was breathing harshly, anger overtaking him.

“How can you be mad? You’ve known this was my plan for years. A bit late to stop me!” Aspir had spent so many hours sharing his hopes and aspirations with Erammus. Why try to talk him out of it now; when he was so close? “What is this really about?”

The taller boy took several deep breaths. He seemed to grow calmer with each one. After several seconds of this, he returned his attention to Aspir. He didn’t look mad anymore. Just hurting. “Aspir, I… care about you.”

“Erammus…” Aspir found it increasingly difficult to hold eye contact.

“I remember what you said, but I can’t help it. You’re more than a friend to me. All the things we’ve done, everything we have. The…” The words came with effort. “The kiss. Doesn’t any of that mean something to you?”

“Of course it does… all of it,” Aspir said with his eyes to the floor. He couldn’t look at Erammus like this.

“Then why! Why are you willing to throw it all away for some… stupid fantasy!”

Aspir’s gaze shot back up in disbelief. “Stupid? This is my dream we’re talking about! What I’ve been working towards for years!” The last word was punctuated with a stomp.

Frustration was creeping back onto Erammus’s face. “It’s not like the stories, Aspir! You can’t just decide to be a hero!”

The only response was a quick shove to the side as Aspir moved past him towards the door. “Tomorrow, I’m walking out those gates. If you really care about me, you’ll be there to see me off. If not…” He was facing away from Erammus. “Then good bye.”

He stepped out.

—————————————————————————

It was lonely. As far as could be told, it was untamed forest for miles around. Aspir knew there’d be times where companions would be few and far between, but he never fully grasped how… empty the world could feel.

The same was true for stomach. Supplies were running low and he couldn’t afford to eat consistently. It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to, but still, the trials of this journey began to weigh on him. He couldn’t help but feel regret gnawing at the back of his head.

“No. Stop. You made your decision, Aspir. Remember, this is your dream! Excitement! Adventure!” The speech was broken by a loud rumbling. “Starvation…”

He stopped to lean on a tree. Maybe a light rest would help. He sunk further towards ground, ready to let exhaustion set in.

A shout echoed through the forest, snapping Aspir out of his lethargy. He hopped back up and bolted in the direction of the noise. There was another shout, and this time some barking as well. As Aspir got closer, he swore he could also catch the sound of a beast hissing.

After a few moments, he had found the source of the sounds. He quickly ducked behind a bush before parting a few branches in order to look through.

Mere yards away, a basilisk began to slink towards its latest victim; a petrified human man. Beside him was a dog, dutifully guarding its master.

Aspir watched the scene carefully; already could he feel that familiar flame burn within him. He grasped his shield firmly, getting it into position. “Wait for it…” he whispered to himself. Patience is key. At least that’s what Hilde always told him.

The basilisk was nearly upon the dog, itself preparing to strike. Its maw inched open as its leg wound up. Finally, it lunged forward, but ultimately found itself knocked off course by a shield flying into its flank.

It landed past the stone man, looking back to find another human in its sight. Aspir stood a couple yards away, keeping his distance while he thought up a plan of attack. Unfortunately, the basilisk wasn’t interested in waiting for him to do so.

It pounced once more, but only caught dirt in its mouth as Aspir rolled out of the way and towards the shield. Once within reach, he grabbed it and held it up in the direction of the beast.

“C’mon! Come at me!” Aspir called out. Close the distance. Hit it when it’s close. The basilisk obliged, roaring as it sped into a full gallop. It’s mouth was opened to its limit, ready to snap shut. Aspir watched carefully, feet positioned with intent. Before the beast made contact, he charged forward.

The basilisk’s mouth closed around the shield. It attempted to rip the shield away, but Aspir held tight, strengthening magic flowing through his body.

In the moment before it could free itself, Aspir pulled back and plunged his sword forward, straight into the beast’s eye. It collapsed instantly, spasming for a few seconds before going still. Aspir fell backwards, exhausted from the ordeal.

The rumbling of stone was heard, followed by a man grasping for breath. “By the Six…” he wheezed out. His dog was soon upon him, licking him excitedly. “What happened… Hey, are you alright.” He was looking towards Aspir now.

“Yeah, just a rough day…” Aspir got back onto his feet, pulling both shield and sword from the basilisk’s corpse.

“You really saved me!” he exclaimed as he jogged up to the guardian. “How can I repay you?”

“You don’t have to-” Aspir’s sentence was interrupted by the sounds of hunger. “A meal would be nice. I’m kind of running on empty.”

The man brushed his hand through his own hair. “Yeah, sounds good. My cabin isn’t far from here. Least I can do for a hero.”

Aspir blushed upon hearing that. “Hero? I don’t know about that… but thanks.” The word stuck in his mind. Things became a little clearer. Excitement and adventure were nice, but helping people who needed it…

Right. That’s what heroes do.

—————————————————————————

“Aspir? Are you ok?” A hand tapped his shoulder, snapping Aspir out of his reverie. He looked back and found his lover, Theo, standing beside him with a raised eyebrow. “You looked kind of spacey there.”

“What? Oh, yeah! I’m fine. I was just thinking about some stuff.”

His boyfriend merely crossed his arms. “Are you sure?” He couldn’t be blame him for being skeptical. Only a couple nights before had he found Aspir sobbing alone by a crate.

“Yes, I promise. I’m just enjoying the peace.”

“Hmm, it has been pretty quiet. Maybe it’ll be safe to hunt again soon,” Theo mused. He crouched down, wrapping his arms around Aspir’s shoulders. “But you know I’ll stay around as long as you need me to.”

Aspir reciprocated, grasping a forearm. He loved these moments of close, intimate contact. “Thank you, but I think things will be alright… sooner or later.” The scent of pipe smoke wafted up to his nose. It helped him forget his regrets; at least a little bit. “Yeah…”

The two continued to sit there, enjoying the sweetness of the moment.