#it’s isabel!

[carpe-diem-since-1899]

In the angels/fallen angels AU, why did Race fall, and does he regret the decisions that led to it (my computer is not letting me type question marks for some reason)

I love you I love you I love you/p

Um tw for mentions of sexual harassment, kidnapping attempt, murder attempt, and actual murdering (non of these are graphic)

So on Race’s last assignment as an angel, the girl he was sent to help had a stalker. (not the reason he was helping her but the dude was a handful) He was rich, very creepy, harassing her wherever she go and kept trying to get her to marry him (or more accurately, sleep with him), so generally a walking red flag. And because it was the medieval period, also the fact that angels aren’t supposed to actively magic stuff away (they are like the bestie that’s there for you with a lot of good luck to share but they can’t directly intervene with things), there wasn’t much they could do

It went on for a few years, with Race trying his hardest to help, but the man was very stubborn. After Race almost breaking the not intervening rule when the man tried to kidnap the girl one time, the girl’s family had enough and skipped town. They lived a pretty peaceful life in the new village, the girl was doing great and married someone she loved, and Race was another few years away to move on to his next mission

The stalker found the girl’s new address, tried to kidnap her again, and threatened to kill her if she didn’t go with him. Race got there just in time, and got so furious he snapped and went full angel on the man and smote him. The girl’s husband arrived, they rushed the girl to safety and Race made them promise to never tell anyone what happened, he cleaned up the evidence, and heaven got the news and dragged Race back to heaven

On paper, Race “Violated the holiest rule of being an angel and committed unspeakable crime” because a) He broke the not intervening rule, and b) He killed a human when he wasn’t assigned to do that

Race didn’t feel bad about the fact that the creep was dead, but he did feel guilty that he couldn’t protect the girl better, and things ended up that way. The fact that he killed someone makes him feel pretty disgusted but he’ll do it again in a heartbeat if that means the girl is safe

At the end of the day thought, what he regretted the most was not being able to say goodbye to Spot

[karrova]

The Red Door, 1978

Isabel Quintanilla

[jollymalt]

right order, wrong person

[alder-knight]

Archive.org: "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter" by Isabel Fall

were you aware that the short story that got Isabel Fall bullied all the way off the internet and into fucking inpatient was truly brilliant? I was too grossed out by the twitter shitshow to read it when it came out and thus managed to only read it now. it was a Hugo finalist for a reason. I hope she can find it in herself to write again bc she's got really interesting and creative stuff to say. would recommend it if you haven't read it yet. 7726 words.

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Isabel Allende, The House of the Spirits

[littlemsjane-error]

nosferatu

[retrogamingblog2]

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Céline (Jean-Claude Brisseau, 1992)

[heateron]

isabelle adjani in possession (1981) dir. andrzej żuławski

[bailadeluna]

men will literally do home renovations on a whole ass haunted mansion before sending a raven to his wife and children

[inthedarktrees]

Isabelle Adjani in The Tenant (1976)

[carpe-diem-since-1899]

Trick or treat! 🦇

Hello hello so sorry for the late af reply (and other not replied asks, I promise I still remember them)

So!! We got these two big projects (?), The Angel and Fallen Angel Au™️ and The Joker and the King, an assassin/hitman au that I talked about forever ago. Both of them are still very much on the plotting/replotting stage ‘cause I have grown as a person/writer (also I’m just genuinely a slow writer/procrastinate a lot), and I am going to talk about their current state and some little headcanons I have for them! Keep in mind that some stuff are still super vague (yes I am aware it’s been years, I feel sad about that too) and I change my stuff all the time, and things might not aligne with my earlier posts. But yeah, here they are :)

The angel/fallen angel au

Currently state

This started off as, well, let’s call it a detour from another au, that is (You guessed it) In The Plotting Stage™️ and it has a magic/medieval/royal vibe, of which Race has a cool ability already, but I was like, hey, won’t it be cool if he also has wings

And to not Mary Sue-ify my favorite guy, I create another au, hence the angels/fallen angels au

Another thing is that I already got another au (The Joker and the King, aka TJTK) and that one focus on sprace, so this one is supposed to be about Javid, while Sprace being angsty in the background

The original plan was David trying to find a way to get back to Mayer’s boss who is neglecting worker’s right or smt

But it looks terrible and super boring after I plot it out twice, and just genuinely has quite a few plot holes since I’m shit with law stuff

I got a few options I’m playing with rn, but yeah this is what we got atm

It’s either gonna be a series with several stories from different characters’ povs and periods or it’s gonna be one long fic and with other additional stories

Headcanons/world building details

After actually reading (a tiny) part of the Bible, I have decided that this au has nothing to do with any angels or similar deities from any religion, the whole fallen angels thing is separate from again, any religion, and I’m gonna rework some background stuff to make it more clear about that. But yeah, just thought I’ll put it out here

I’ll put a post out after I fine tuned all the details

Both Jack and Race are fallen angels, Jack is older than Race and they’re friends

Jack got assigned to helping David dealing with Something, meanwhile Spot is already friend with David and got assigned to him as well

Race is aroace, and he and Spot were best friends/on their way to being in a qpr (but that label wasn’t a thing back then)

As previously mentioned by the posts under the au tag, they fell out of touch after Race’s fall, and they haven’t seen or heard from each other for centuries

So there are Dramas and I can’t wait to actually figure out the plot😭

The Joker and the King au

Current state

This started back in end of 2021/start of 2022 or smt, and I’m gonna be so honest with you, I have no idea why the fuck this drags on like this

It was darker and most of the characters are (or at least were) hitmen

Spot and David were part of this organization and they left and took some informations with them, so the boss is sending people after those two

The storyline I had didn’t make much sense and I toned it down because I feel bad for making them trying to off each other for money

But not I don’t feel bad about that anymore so I’m putting the slay and maim back into the plot

Headcanons/world building details

I’m just assigning motivation and sense of morals (?) for characters at the moment so there are not specific stuff I can give you

We got people that are raised in the business, do it for the money, forced into the deal, and I’m debating whether or not to add someone who do the contract killing thing for shits and giggles

Spot and David are no longer hitmen! But I say nothing about them being law abiding citizens

They pissed off the wrong people and Spot now have a target on his back

Again still trying to figure stuff out but that’s the gist

[autistichalsin]

In retrospect, four years later, I feel like the Isabel Fall incident was just the biggest ignored cautionary tale modern fandom spaces have ever had. Yes, it wasn't limited to fandom, it was also a professional author/booktok type argument, but it had a lot of crossover.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: a writer, whether fan or pro, publishes a work. If one were to judge a book by its cover, something we are all taught in Kindergarten shouldn't happen but has a way of occurring regardless, one might find that there was something that seemed deeply problematic about this work. Maybe the title or summary alluded to something Wrong happening, or maybe the tags indicated there was problematic kinks or relationships. And that meant the story was Bad. So, a group of people takes to the Twittersphere to inform everyone who will listen why the work, and therefore the author, are Bad. The author, receiving an avalanche of abuse and harassment, deactivates their account, and checks into a mental health facility for monitoring for suicidal ideation. They never return to their writing space, and the harassers get a slap on the wrist (if that- usually they get praise and high-fives all around) and start waiting for their next victim to transgress.

Sounds awful familiar, doesn't it?

Isabel Fall's case, though, was even more extreme for many reasons. See, she made the terrible mistake of using a transphobic meme as the genesis to actually explore issues of gender identity.

More specifically, she used the phrase "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" to examine how marginalized identities, when they become more accepted, become nothing more than a tool for the military-industrial complex to rebrand itself as a more personable and inclusive atrocity; a chance to pursue praise for bombing brown children while being progressive, because queer people, too, can help blow up brown children now! It also contained an examination of identity and how queerness is intrinsic to a person, etc.

But... well, if harassers ever bothered to read the things they critique, we wouldn't be here, would we? So instead, they called Isabel a transphobic monster for the title alone, even starting a misinformation campaign to claim she was, in fact, a cis male nazi using a fake identity to psyop the queer community.

A few days later, after days of horrific abuse and harassment, Isabel requested that Clarkesworld magazine pull the story. She checked in to a psych ward with suicidal thoughts. That wasn't all, though; the harassment was so bad that she was forced to out herself as trans to defend against the claims.

Only... we know this type of person, the fandom harassers, don't we? You know where this is going. Outing herself did nothing to stop the harassment. No one was willing to read the book, much less examine how her sexuality and gender might have influenced her when writing it.

So some time later, Isabel deleted her social media. She is still alive, but "Isabel Fall" is not- because the harassment was so bad that Isabel detransitioned/closeted herself, too traumatized to continue living her authentic life.

Supposed trans allies were so outraged at a fictional portrayal of transness, written by a trans woman, that they harassed a real life trans woman into detransitioning.

It's heartbreakingly familiar, isn't it? Many of us in fandom communities have been in Isabel's shoes, even if the outcome wasn't so extreme (or in some cases, when it truly was). Most especially, many of us, as marginalized writers speaking from our own experiences in some way, have found that others did not enjoy our framework for examining these things, and hurt us, members of those identities, in defense of "the community" as a nebulous undefined entity.

There's a quote that was posted in a news writeup about the whole saga that was published a year after the fact. The quote is:

The delineation between paranoid and reparative readings originated in 1995, with influential critic Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick. A paranoid reading focuses on what’s wrong or problematic about a work of art. A reparative reading seeks out what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art, even if the work is flawed. Importantly, a reparative reading also tends to consider what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art for someone who isn’t the reader. This kind of nuance gets completely worn away on Twitter, home of paranoid readings. “[You might tweet], ‘Well, they didn’t discuss X, Y, or Z, so that’s bad!’ Or, ‘They didn’t’ — in this case — ‘discuss transness in a way that felt like what I feel about transness, therefore it is bad.’ That flattens everything into this very individual, very hostile way of reading,” Mandelo says. “Part of reparative reading is trying to think about how a story cannot do everything. Nothing can do everything. If you’re reading every text, fiction, or criticism looking for it to tick a bunch of boxes — like if it represents X, Y, and Z appropriately to my definitions of appropriate, and if it’s missing any of those things, it’s not good — you’re not really seeing the close focus that it has on something else.”

A paranoid reading describes perfectly what fandom culture has become in the modern times. It is why "proship", once simply a word for common sense "don't engage with what you don't like, and don't harass people who create it either" philosophies, has become the boogeyman of fandom, a bad and dangerous word. The days of reparative readings, where you would look for things you enjoyed, are all but dead. Fiction is rarely a chance to feel joy; it's an excuse to get angry, to vitriolically attack those different from oneself while surrounded with those who are the same as oneself. It's an excuse to form in-groups and out-groups that must necessarily be in a constant state of conflict, lest it come across like This side is accepting That side's faults. In other words, fandom has become the exact sort of space as the nonfandom spaces it used to seek to define itself against.

It's not about joy. It's not about resonance with plot or characters. It's about hate. It's about finding fault. If they can't find any in the story, they will, rest assured, create it by instigating fan wars- dividing fandom into factions and mercilessly attacking the other.

And that's if they even went so far as to read the work they're critiquing. The ones they don't bother to read, as you saw above, fare even worse. If an AO3 writer tagged an abuser/victim ship, it's bad, it's fetishism, even if the story is about how the victim escapes. If a trans writer uses the title "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter" to find a framework to dissect rainbow-washing the military-industrial complex, it's unforgivable. It's a cesspool of kneejerk reactions, moralizing discomfort, treating good/evil as dichotomous categories that can never be escaped, and using that complex as an excuse to heap harassment on people who "deserve it." Because once you are Bad, there is no action against you that is too Bad for you to deserve.

Isabel Fall's story follows this so step-by-step that it's like a textbook case study on modern fandom behavior.

Isabel Fall wrote a short story with an inflammatory title, with a genesis in transphobic mockery, in the hopes of turning it into a genuine treatise on the intersection of gender and sexuality and the military-industrial complex. But because audiences are unprepared for the idea of inflammatory rhetoric as a tool to force discomfort to then force deeper introspection... they zeroed in on the discomfort. "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter"- the title phrase, not the work- made them uncomfortable. We no longer teach people how to handle discomfort; we live in a world of euphemism and glossing over, a world where people can't even type out the words "kill" and rape", instead substituting "unalive" and "grape." We don't deal with uncomfortable feelings anymore; we censor them, we transform them, we sanitize them. When you are unable to process discomfort, when you are never given self-soothing tools, your only possible conclusion is that anything Uncomfortable must be Bad, and the creator must either be censored too, or attacked into conformity so that you never again experience the horrors of being Uncomfortable.

So the masses took to Twitter, outraged. They were Uncomfortable, and that de facto meant that they had been Wronged. Because the content was related to trans identity issues, that became the accusation; it was transphobic, inherently. It couldn't be a critique of bigger and more fluid systems than gender identity alone; it was a slight against trans people. And no amount of explanations would change their minds now, because they had already been aggrieved and made to feel Uncomfortable.

Isabel Fall was now a Bad Person, and we all know what fandom spaces do to Bad People. Bad People, because they are Bad, will always be deserving of suicide bait and namecalling and threatening. Once a person is Bad, there is no way to ever become Good again. Not by refuting the accusations (because the accusations are now self-evident facts; "there is a callout thread against them" is its own tautological proof that wrongdoing has happened regardless of the veracity of the claims in the callout) and not by apologizing and changing, because if you apologize and admit you did the Bad thing, you are still Bad, and no matter what you do in future, you were once Bad and that needs to be brought up every time you are mentioned. If you are bad, you can NEVER be more than what you were at your worst (in their definition) moment. Your are now ontologically evil, and there is no action taken against you that can be immoral.

So Isabel was doomed, naturally. It didn't matter that she outed herself to explain that she personally had lived the experience of a trans woman and could speak with authority on the atrocity of rainbow-washing the military industrial complex as a proaganda tool to capture progressives. None of it mattered. She had written a work with an Uncomfortable phrase for a title, the readers were Uncomfortable, and someone had to pay for it.

And that's the key; pay for it. Punishment. Revenge. It's never about correcting behavior. Restorative justice is not in this group's vocabulary. You will, incidentally, never find one of these folks have a stance against the death penalty; if you did Bad as a verb, you are Bad as an intrinsic, inescapable adjective, and what can you do to incorrigible people but kill them to save the Normal people? This is the same principle, on a smaller scale, that underscores their fandom activities; if a Bad fan writes Bad fiction, they are a Bad person, and their fandom persona needs to die to save Normal fans the pain of feeling Uncomfortable.

And that's what happened to Isabel Fall. The person who wrote the short story is very much alive, but the pseudonym of Isabel Fall, the identity, the lived experiences coming together in concert with imagination to form a speculative work to critique deeply problematic sociopolitical structures? That is dead. Isabel Fall will never write again, even if by some miracle the person who once used the name does. Even if she ever decides to restart her transition, she will be permanently scarred by this experience, and will never again be able to share her experience with us as a way to grow our own empathy and challenge our understanding of the world. In spirit, but not body, fandom spaces murdered Isabel Fall.

And that's... fandom, anymore. That's just what is done, routinely and without question, to Bad people. Good people are Good, so they don't make mistakes, and they never go too far when dealing with Bad people. And Bad people, well, they should have thought before they did something Bad which made them Bad people.

Isabel Fall's harassment happened in early 2020, before quarantine started, but it was in so many ways a final chance for fandom to hit the breaks. A chance for fandom to think collectively about what it wanted to be, who it wanted to be for and how it wanted to do it. And fandom looked at this and said, "more, please." It continues to harass marginalized people, especially fans of color and queen fans, into suffering mental breakdowns. With gusto.

Any ideas of reparative reading is dead. Fandom runs solely on paranoid readings. And so too is restorative justice gone for fandom transgressions, real or imagined. It is now solely about punitive, vigilante justice. It's a concerted campaign to make sure oddballs conform or die (in spirit, but sometimes even physically given how often mentally ill individuals are pushed into committing suicide).

It's a deeply toxic environment and I'm sad to say that Isabel Fall's story was, in retrospect, a sort of event horizon for the fandom. The gravitational pull of these harassment campaigns is entirely too strong now and there is no escaping it. I'm sorry, I hate to say something so bleak, but thinking the last few days about the state of fandom (not just my current one but also others I watch from the outside), I just don't think we can ever go back to peaceful "for joy" engagement, not when so many people are determined to use it as an outlet for lateral aggression against other people.

[mazzzystr]

Nicole Saldaña Isabel Ballerina Flats

[fruitface]

"You know you didn't have to start like a whole fight club just to date me."

[jollymalt]

more animal crossing drawings!