#it’s hitting me this has really been 6-7 years of my life
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rootspiral · 2 months ago
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 6 part 1
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])
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ooh the "magick" mitzvah? I've been puzzling about the connection between william and billy, that's an interesting detail. I'll elaborate in a minute
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I've seen a lot of irony about joe locke clearly not being 13 here, but the thing is, sometimes boys do suddenly hit puberty and have an insane growth spurt! and then you get the hilarious visuals of some guy sitting in a tiny desk in a classroom full of children.
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my point being, they should have had joe dancing with a bunch of actual 13 year olds, it would have been so fucking funny
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I love mama and papa kaplan, and it really gets to me that they lost their boy and don't even know it. I was worried about billy's episode because I thought it would be just a bunch of marvel tie-ins with no heart. glad to report I was wrong
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lilia who hates witch stereotypes performing those very stereotypes in order to not fucking starve
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william's reflection is billy reversed
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lilia foresees william's death and billy's takeover, and she is SO sorry for him. patti as usual conveys so much, you can tell her heart is breaking but she's being kind and lying in order to not scare this poor kid. and this is exactly why being a Seer has always been a burden to lilia, how do you form any relationships, how do you love someone when you've already seen the day you're going to lose them?
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“The Tower Reversed.” disaster, destruction, sudden upheaval. but reversed, it means miraculous transformation.
and there is something about lilia choosing this moment as the most representative for billy, a moment that symbolize both billy and william. this is future!lilia embracing her own strength and reclaiming the coven and the community she denied herself her whole life. and not only she includes billy in it, but also william as a fundamental part of billy, a kid that she protected and cherished despite meeting him only briefly.
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not only lilia goes above and beyond for william, hiding the truth from him, inviting him to enjoy the party she knows will be his last. she hides the sigil on him so she can protect billy too, because she knows that another little boy is about to wake up in a strange reality and be so lost. she tells william he's a good egg, but she is the goodest egg.
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I love the little choices here. wanda's voice on the radio, pretending she's in an idyllic sitcom marriage. and a real life marriage where wanda's 1950s tropes are reversed, rebecca is the one who drives and grabs her husband's hand to reassure him.
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another great detail: the dissolving Hex reflected in the car window.
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the parallels are taking my breath away. two moms, agatha and rebecca, fiercely loving and protective. both would blame themselves for their sons dying.
but sometimes, boys die. and to quote jac shaeffer, that is tragedy enough to fill the universe.
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you can hear william's heart slow down and stop. then, when billy takes over, it starts beating like crazy.
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and here's alice, who's also never met william (or billy) before, but she will unquestionably do her utmost to help.
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I miss you so much, alice
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he's so scared. the way he shakes his head and doesn't know where to look.
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imagine being born yesterday, and suddenly you are in a different body and your head is cracked and you're surrounded by strangers. and your brother is nowhere.
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that is the worst omelet I've ever seen in my life by the way
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(also I know billy is used to instant growth, but imagine switching from child to teenager just like that, it's like going through puberty in two seconds. kafkaesque nightmare fuel)
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and it's just so realistic and so moving that the kaplans are presenting a united front even though they are crumbling underneath. and they won't say any of it out loud because they are good fucking parents and it's their job to protect and worry without their kid ever feeling guilty about it. (billy does end up reading their minds because they're not equipped to parent a superhero yet. not that they wouldn't RAISE TO THE FUCKING CHALLENGE. I love you rebecca and jeff kaplan)
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william liked classic movies, board games and magic tricks. there were budding hints at a goth vibe too, with dario argento quotes and creepy victorian posters. it doesn't seem at all incompatible with the person billy will eventually grow up to be, I know he had to settle into william's life, but he didn't revolutionize any of it, he kind of followed in william tracks. I think that yes, william died just as wanda dissolved the hex and it was a wrong place and wrong time kind of situation, but he also had to be a compatible donor - as similar as billy as possible, I don't know if genetically or soul-wise or what. they even look a bit similar, same ears, same nose, same eyes, same chin, same triangular face.
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these guys really like doing mirror shots, don't they
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by the way I will keep calling him Boyf because it's so damn funny, but I do know his name is eddie and I'm really really happy for the representation. there won't be any particularly deep meta about these two because gay boys are so, so far from my realm of interest or expertise, I'm sorry if you were looking forward to it. if you want to add context or ideas about them please do!
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another possibility is that billy's soul, while not having any of wiliam's memories, was still shaped and conditioned by his dna and brain chemistry and past experiences, so in a sense william is still in there. you put software in a different hardware, it's gonna affect its performance.
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I'll say this about boyf, he's very sweet. billy gives him this crazy story and he doesn't flinch, he just tries to understand and be supportive.
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*cough cough* nerd
but look, he's pulling a detective agnes! he really is an agatha mini me.
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ah yes, the future coven looking after billy even before meeting him. lilia giving him the sigil, alice being first responder on the site of the accident, jen saving his dating life by teaching him good skincare (he's a teenager! he's got pimples!)
you guys, I hope you don't mind me dedicating some time to billy alone, but I do like this episode a lot.
and tomorrow: it's the return of butch agatha!
go to episode 6 part 2
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csuitebitches · 1 year ago
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Things I Have to do for My Sanity
1. Wake up at the first alarm - no snoozing and no going lying around in bed. Getting up straight away and head to the bathroom. It’s going to suck initially but you’ll get used to it in a few days.
2. Mental self care: 30 minute meditation, brain games mental math, reading, news. Knowledge is sexy and don’t deny yourself sexiness.
3. Daily review in my diary at the beginning and end of my day: what went well, what didn’t, what I need to accomplish to achieve my goals. This has tremendously helped my goals and keeping my motivation more consistent, especially at work. Analysing and correcting incremental changes creates long term success.
4. Cleaning up before bed - clothes, shoes, organising my bag, etc. I set a timer for 5 minutes and try to get as much done as possible.
5. Pick out my clothes the night before and steam iron them for the next day.
6. Face masks twice a week, a hair mask once a week, I scrub the soles of my feet with that foot scrubbing thingy once a week. Manicures every month because my nail beds are too sensitive to do it biweekly, iron supplements so that I’m not a moody bitch. Matching underwear to feel good about myself. Lavender spray on my pillow before sleeping so that I don’t get weird dreams.
7. Reading biographies and autobiographies. My mentor had suggested this to me and it’s amazing how literally I don’t have a single original experience - everything I’ve felt or mistakes I’ve made have already been done by someone else.
I’m going to curate a list of business books that I feel that have helped me the most recently.
8. I write a short essay everyday in the language I’m currently learning. I also end my day by talking about my day for at least 2 minutes in that language and I record it in voice memos to keep a track of my progress. I want to be fluent to a level where I can think in this language.
I don’t generally share a lot about my personal life - none of you know my name or where I’m based and I feel comfortable doing that. But I do want to start giving out more insights to what I’m doing personally in my career - the good, the bad, the ugly.
Being self aware and honest to myself has helped me improve a lot. I know that shame is my Achilles heel, so now I’m reading books to combat that. I’ve caved in and decided to try therapy for a bit to see if what I’m doing is useful or not. My first session is tomorrow. Staying disciplined was my initial hurdle but the systems I’ve set (waking up early + habit stacking) have helped me slowly overcome that.
Work side, I’ve started establishing myself publicly more. I don’t want to reveal too much about what I do exactly but the good news is that our biggest competitor has noticed my progress (a former employee of that company came to us for an interview and directly asked our top management about me). It’s been 4 months that I’ve been working here but I know that next year I really have to swing the bat and hit a home run. I’ve decided to work on the field more and less in the office to really understand people’s needs and create unique solutions.
The daily/weekly/quarterly diary is definitely credited to my recent wins. That’s the biggest change I’ve made in my routine and i can already see that it’s working well. I’m going to continue refining and implementing that method.
Recent work methods I’ve decided to start working on (I’m not required to do these but I do it for my growth):
1. I’ve started studying popular companies’ business and revenue models in detail. Everything is adoptable and adaptable, you just have to figure out how to tweak something for your company’s clients and needs. Now I’ve decided that I want to keep a track of our competitors, their business models, their owners names, pricing strategy, their target audience etc etc on an excel sheet so that I’m aware with what’s happening in the market. 
2. I’ve started making client profiles. Every time I meet a client, I note down their name, the company name, what they were like, anything specific they seemed to like or want, how much they had paid us for a service, what their paying capacity could be, etc. 
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lilacgaby · 5 months ago
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return to main menu?
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- bakugo katsuki
"what are we?" "...nothing. right?"
convienence. a means to end. that's all this was for both of you right? when katsuki is fed up with the crazed fangirls who just won't leave him alone, he works out a deal with you. it was just coincidence he had a huge crush on you.
to kiss or kill.. a vampire?
you've been a vampire for as long as you can remember. you were going through your day, or night, routine as normal when a noise startles you. a man, katsuki bakugo to be exactly, was standing at your door. though, he can't seem to rember whether he's supposed to kill or kiss you...
I've changed, won't you see?
summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.
running out of time, to make you love me.
THE PRINCE'S BALL was to be had on his 18th birthday. the week before, you realize the feelings you have harbored over the years for him. little did you know you were both fighting against the time restraint placed on him.
die for you.
after an attempt on your life, the royal family turns to promising young blood, hoping to find someone to protect you. katsuki was chosen and ended up dedicating himself to you in a way even he never predicted.
excuses, excuses
katsuki had left you, overwhelmed by the situation you two were now tied to. now, when he finally reaches his dreams, he realizes victory doesn't taste as sweet without you.
my first, my last, my everything.
summary: katsuki left that life behind for you. but when the life you two built from scratch together was threatened, what else could he do but go back?
my last, my everything.
ride or die
you'd been partnered up with the hotheaded speed racer, katsuki. who knew he'd end up more interested in you then the races he'd win?
crayons and connections
after a harsh relationship he really didn't want another try at romance for a while. at least, not until he hired you. he thought he loved the way you cared for his kids, but you both knew it was something more.
*truth bomb! (f,h)
in which a lovesick girl is hit by a truth telling quirk that lasts 7 days.
*serenity (f)
in which a longtime fanboy meets his anime crush in his world.
entranced (f)
through all stages of his life, katsuki was entranced with you.
save me
katsuki has always saved you, his princess.
saved.
awakened
you've been asleep all this time, who knew a barbarian would be the one to awaken you?
death is inevitable, but why you?
summary: each boy has to live through their horrors, the horror of losing you.
fairy tale.
summary: katsuki's life had been flipped onto its head, who knew some pixie dust was all he needed?
iced out.
"he'll need an ice pack when i'm done with him."
fantasy au's:
dragonking!bkg 2
dragonking!bkg x tinkerbell!reader
barbarian!bakugo 2 3 4
prohero! au:
prohero!bkg 2 3 4
interview but he's down bad 2
preschool!teacher reader
kidnapped!reader
domestic au:
4:25 a.m
family errand running
interview with his daughter
6:21 a.m
mini you.
girldad!katsuki
nanny!reader
random drabbles:
mini me
katsuki thinks it's cute how you adopt his habits, calling you his mini-me.
he's a scaredy-cat.
is he proposing or...?
childhoodfriends
shy!reader
back kissing him</3
nerd!bakugo
physical touch
muscle-kisses
boyfriend!bakugo
only shy to him
racer!katsuki
comfort
the one who got away..
hypotheticals
drawing him
drawing on his hands
makeup on him
-todoroki shoto
*marry me! (f)
in which a royal prince and a witch get married to dethrone the king.
death is inevitable, but why you?
summary: each boy has to live through their horrors, the horror of losing you.
random drabbles:
is he proposing or...?
-tamaki amajiki
random drabbles:
shy!reader 2
sfw alphabet
timeskip!tamaki
period comfort
-kirishima eijiro
lucky me.
you always seemed to attract bad luck, yet you think your life might be turning around as you reconnect with light itself.
random drabbles:
is he proposing or...?
-midoriya izuku
death is inevitable, but why you?
summary: each boy has to live through their horrors, the horror of losing you.
random drabbles:
is he proposing or..?
-denki kaminari
random drabbles:
is he proposing or...?
-neito monoma
random drabbles:
shy!reader
-hitoshi shinsou
i'll love you, even from afar.
random drabbles:
period comfort
-touya todoroki (dabi)
better 4 u
summary: touya didn't deserve you, he knew there was someone out there better for you.
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back2bluesidex · 1 year ago
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Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Chapter 1 (18+)
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Pairing: Model, ex-boyfriend!Jungkook X Child psychologist, Fem!Reader X Lawyer, Single Dad!Hoseok. 
Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!
Theme: Angst, pining, heartbreak, break-up, SMUT (MDNI)
Warnings: lots of crying, reader is broken, she is suffering so bad, a flashback explicit sex scene, big-dick Jungkook, kind of size kink, he hits it from behind, shower sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up), creampie, Jung Hoseok enters the scene, he is so attractive that you might faint, subtle and flirty Hoseok, an adorable little girl, Namjoon makes an appearance.
It's not really mentioned but just so you know, Hoseok and reader has a slight age gap like 5 years. (which is not at all an age gap to me because my first boyfriend was 8 years older than me. haha. you didn't just read that.)
Word count: 4.2k
Taglist requests are closed.
Minors and karens are not allowed in this blog
A/N: First chapter is here. I wrote 4k+ words for a single fic and that's unbelievable. Anyway, I hope you guys like it, and I hope it's worth the wait.
Main Masterlist
Chapters:- 
Prologue/Masterpost || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 - Finale
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“Reaching in 10 minutes” 
That’s what Jungkook texted you half an hour ago. 
It’s nothing new. He has always been late to your every date, every plan, every meetup. What is new is the lack of explanations and excuses following his delayed arrivals. He only apologizes and you hardly hear any sincerity in his atonements. 
You sigh, staring out of the huge window of the private cabin. 
Jungkook can’t meet you at your (supposed to be shared) home due to his “privacy” issues. So, you had to reserve this private cabin of an over-expensive continental restaurant. It’s funny how all of these feel so formal. It feels as if you are meeting one of your wealthy clients and not your boyfriend. This is how far Jungkook has drifted from you. 
Your feet bounce on the floor, reminding you that you are indeed very nervous. 
It’s a “leap of faith” situation for you today. If it works out then everything will start afresh, if it doesn’t… you will have to fall and break without having any idea on how to mend yourself. 
“Sorry. I’m late.” Jungkook’s muffled voice rings behind your ear. 
You were so lost in your thoughts, or fear, that you didn’t even hear him entering the cabin. 
He heads towards the seat opposite of yours, without any further greetings, any kiss or even a hug… not even a single glance.
“As if it’s the first time.” you scoff. Jungkook chuckles nervously, removing his mask and snapback. 
“Let’s order something. Heard their soy sauce chicken is a hit-” 
“Y/N, I can’t stay for long. Can you make it quick?” Jungkook cuts off your words. His tone is so curt, so foreign that you doubt if it’s actually him underneath his skin or not. 
“Jungkook… What's wrong? Why are you making things so formal? For fuck’s sake it’s me. Your so-called girlfriend.” Your voice quivers but you scream nonetheless. 
“Y/N! Quit being dramatic and lower your voice. We are not at home.” Jungkook hisses, teeth gritting, eyes narrowing. 
“Home? You mean the apartment you left because your agency said it’s risky to share a space with your girlfriend of three years? The same place you refused to meet at because paparazzi are keeping tabs on you as you are rumored to be dating someone else?” you reply with the same ferocity. 
Jungkook closes his eyes and rubs his face with both of his palms. Taking a sharp inhale, he says, “Can you please tell me why we are here? I don’t think you called me all the way here just so we can fight?”  
You roll your eyes, less in sarcasm, more in an attempt to make your tears disappear.
You sit straight as if being prepared for the sword that is going to pierce through your heart, “Jungkook, do you.. do you love me?” 
Jungkook visibly stiffens. His eyes go wide as if someone has asked him to jump off of the building. You see him collecting himself and clearing his throat only to lie, “O-Of course I do. But suddenly why?” 
Even though you want to believe his words, you know those are as hollow as his eyes and maybe his heart as well. 
“Then..” you pause, reaching for your purse. Pulling out the pitch black velvet box, you look at him. Jungkook’s eyes are wide again, filled with horror and confusion. He probably knows what you are doing and he does not seem to be the least bit happy.  
You stand up from your seat and round the table to reach Jungkook, “don’t you think it’s the high time we get engaged? It’s been three years since we started dating, our families approve of each other and” you pause, being unsure of whether you should say it, “and we have always wanted a future together.” You open the box for him to see, a tight-lipped smile lingers on your face only to punctuate your proposal.
Jungkook looks up at you with his big, doe, mystical eyes and then looks down on the ring you have spent a fortune on. Your heart hammers in your chest, but it is not the flattering kind. Your heart races in a fear that you are not ready to face yet.
Jungkook’s face falls and he looks away from you. He plays with his fingers and avoids any kind of eye contact with you. You stand there like a doll made of steel, staring at him holding the ring. 
“Y/N. This is not- I can’t. I mean, this is so sudden. I am at the peak of my career and I can’t think of getting engaged or married at this point of life.” he runs a hand though his dark hair out of frustration, “Why are you rushing everything like this?” Jungkook’s eyes are still trained on the table, not on you. 
“Because I am afraid, Jungkook. I am afraid you might leave me behind if I don’t try to hold onto you now.” you finally let your tears fall. Uncontrollable sobs leave your mouth. 
Jungkook whips his head towards you and then stands up slowly. He holds you by your arms and opens his mouth to say something, “Y/N. I-”
“But I guess it’s too late now. You were long gone. You were gone far before the day you were seen with her. I should have understood Jungkook. I should have…” you run out of breath but still continue, “now please answer me honestly, you love her. Don’t you?” 
Jungkook starts avoiding your eyes again. His grip on your arms loosens and you somehow know the answer already. 
“I never cheated on you, Y/N. I never lied to you.” He offers with eyes shut tightly. 
“But you never told me the full truth either.” your voice comes out weak. 
Jungkook remains silent for a while and then he continues with a frail voice, “That night. I mean, the photo that went viral, I was sending her back to her hotel. She flew all the way to the States to confess to me.” This is a new revelation to you, since you never really demanded any explanation from him. Honestly, you didn’t have the guts to face the truth. Rather you decided to try one last time. And that is what brings you here, defeated and rejected with a truck load of pain burdening you down. 
“And? What did you say?” you press on, being determined to end your suffering today even if it means you will have to return home with a broken relationship and a broken heart.  
“Nothing.” Jungkook gulps.
“You could not say no because you feel the same and you could not say yes because you still had me, is that right?” You know you awfully sound like you are in a session with one of your patients but you don’t care. You need to get to the root of this unbearable pain and cut it off for once and for all. 
Jungkook nods. Even though his eyes are hidden from yours, you know, those are full of guilt and shame but not a single speck of love and affection for you. 
You close your eyes, let the tears fall unbound, shut the box tight and take two steps back from your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 
“I know this is a stupid question but I- I’m just confirming” another sob leaves your mouth unintentionally, “do you want to break up? With me?” 
Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose. He is probably finding a way to say yes without having to hurt you more than you can bear. 
“Y/N..” he murmurs. This is most likely the last time you are hearing him call you by your name. 
“Jungkook, please, just yes or no.” You take another step away from him.  
“Yes.” Jungkook breathes out. His eyes are still shut tight. 
Even though you knew what his answer would be, it still hurts much more than it did in your imagination. 
You feel as if your head is underwater, you can’t breathe, can’t fight, can’t scream. You need to be saved but the person you want to reach out to is the same person who pushed you into this unfathomable water. 
Your vision gets blurry with tears again, you can’t see Jungkook anymore. And you guess it’s better that way. 
“Okay. That's all I think. That’s all for our three years of history. I hope you lead a happier life from now on. Goodbye….. Jungkook.” and with that you left without waiting for him to say anything. You left him and a part of yourself with him. 
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You are again sitting at your dining table, holding your phone tightly in your hand. You are again re-reading a headline just like you did a month and two days ago. You are again trying not to cry but you are failing miserably. 
“Calvin Kline fame Jeon Jungkook confirms the rumors by kissing rumored girlfriend actress Han Jiwon at a club downtown - The agency is yet to provide a statement.” 
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It's cruel, how you have to wake up exactly at 7 in the morning despite crying for the better part of the night. 
It's even more cruel, how your vacation application (which you have been pursuing for more than a week now) was declined harshly because there's a "priority client" and you, arguably the most competent child psychologist of the clinic, have to take over the case. 
You reach for your phone and turn off the alarm. 
Opening your eyes, you stare at the ceiling blankly. It's been two weeks since you last saw Jungkook at the restaurant. It's been two weeks since your relationship came to an end. And it's been four months since you are sleeping on your own but you still crave for his warmth beside you. 
Love can be a funny thing. At one moment it's fulfilling you, injecting your heart with a sickening sweetness and at another one it's ripping off your urge to continue living, it's stuffing you with insecurity and self doubts that you hardly knew the existence of. 
You wonder what Jungkook is doing now. Is he sleeping by himself or is he waking up beside Jiwon? Is he kissing her shoulders softly like he used to do to you or is he hovering above her, spreading her legs and inserting his large shaft inside. 
Your thoughts are shaken off with the vibrating sound of your phone. 
It's Miseon. The receptionist of The Mindscope ( the clinic you work for) and probably the only person you can call a friend in this entire world. 
"Morning." You greet.
"Hey. Heard that your application was declined?" Miseon chrips from the other side of the line. 
"Yeah. For some priority clients. Kim asshole Namjoon will be deep-fried in burning oil in a giant ass frying pan in hell." You grumble.
"So you are coming back to work today I guess." 
"Yes I have to."
"Will you be okay tho?" You can hear concern in your friend's voice. She's the only person apart from your family to know about your and Jungkook's relationship. So, she called you immediately after seeing the tabloids twelve days ago. You cried on her shoulder when she visited you. 
"Yeah. I guess. I have to start doing the actual work anyway. My eyes are in pain for the prolonged hours I spent staring at Microsoft Word for these two weeks. Ugh. Now I hate documentation even more." 
Miseon chuckles, “Okay, see you at the clinic then.” 
“Yeah. see you.” 
You drag yourself out of the bed and head towards the washroom. If this is a new start, then you better accept it. 
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As soon as the warm soothing water touches your body, memories come rushing back, flooding your mind with despair in the process. 
“Jungkook… I’m gonna get late” you whine, head tilting back with pleasure. 
Jungkook’s hand snakes around your waist, fingers reach for your sensitive bundle of nerves. 
“Five minutes won’t hurt, baby.” he whispers in your ear as his index and middle finger draw slow circles on your wet clit. 
His other hand teases one of your wet nipples, twisting and tugging it as harshly as he wants. 
A pool of slick gushes out of your hole making jungkook groan at the feeling. He dips his middle finger in your hole and collects some of your wetness, he then uses that to rub more smooth circles on your clit. 
You choke on thin air, moaning his name again and again you start to roll your hip on his naked cock. 
His giant cock fits perfectly along your ass crack, as if it was made to fit inside you. 
You roll your hips harder to elicit a reaction from your boyfriend. 
“Such a dirty girl, huh? All for me.” Jungkook’s husky voice pierce through your sober mind and you find yourself dazed with love and pleasure. 
Jungkook increases the pace of his fingers and you get more and more wet each passing second. 
“Kook.. I- I need you.” you manage to breathe out. 
“Don’t be vague, Y/N. Tell me what you exactly need.” Jungkook replies smugly. 
“I need your giant cock to ruin my pussy, daddy.” you reply, squeezing the tit that has been deprived of your boyfriend’s attention.
“Whatever my baby says.” and with that jungkook slips inside you in one go. You barely get any chance to adjust because he starts moving right away. 
He fucks you slow. His fingers never stop teasing your clit and soon you two reach your climax. He fills you with his cum and you coat his cock with yours. 
“Let’s get cleaned now, hm?” Jungkook places a kiss on your shoulder as he turns on the shower. 
Your back slides down the shower wall. You shake violently as loud sobs leave your throat one after another. 
“You are so cruel, Jungkook. You are so fucking cruel.” you scream. Your throat hurts but your heart hurts even more. 
You should have read the signs. When he kept on talking about Jiwon, aka his new friend from the agency, you should have perceived that shine in his eyes. 
You should have confronted him more when he said he would have a drink with her after his shoot. 
You should have asked his whereabouts when he ignored your calls and texts because he visited her in one of her drama sets. 
You should have done a lot of things but most importantly, you should have loved him a little less and loved yourself a little more. 
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Counselee Information: - Name: Jung Sua Age: 7 (seven) Gender: Female (F) Guardian: Jung Hoseok  Relationship with the guardian: Father of the counselee  Reasons behind seeking help:  1. Changes in behavior  2. Quieter and more reserved than before 3. Frequent nightmares  4. Mild panic attacks 
“So, what do you think?” Namjoon questions, leaning on the plush chair, placed at the end of your table. 
“Nothing complicated. You could have handled it yourself. There was absolutely no need of rejecting my vacation applications again and again.” you spat, being very unimpressed with the dimpled smirk on your boss’ face. 
“Oh my god. What’s wrong?” he dramatically leans forward. Placing a hand on his chest, Namjoon continues, “I thought you will be in a better mood after two weeks of work from home. But you seem even more annoyed than before.” 
“For your information, I asked for a damn holiday not work from home aka  prolonged hours of documentation. I really need some time off, Namjoon. I am not kidding.” Your voice sounds so defeated that Namjoon has to sit straight. 
A serious expression takes over his features as he replies, “I know, Y/N. You are definitely not the type to take leaves for fun. But I am helpless here. The client has asked for you personally. He has done his own research and concluded that you can help his daughter better than everyone else in this clinic. I could not do anything.” 
You nod understanding his point of view. 
You are always more than ready to help these little, innocent souls out. It pains you to see these babies experiencing something as horrific as panic attacks. 
But this time you need therapy more than anyone else under your radar. Even though your exterior doesn’t show the unbearable pain your interior is going through, you still need some solace. You are really unwilling to work at this moment and you doubt if you can help anyone else when you are not mentally fit yourself.  
But you hardly have a choice. And maybe, just maybe, you will get a chance of distracting yourself from Jungkook's thoughts. Maybe you will be able to take a breather. Maybe you will heal in the process. Maybe? 
“The appointment is at 11 am, right?” You ask the man sitting right in front of you.
“Yes,” he answers. 
“It’s 10:49 already. Get out and let me prepare myself.” you mutter, closing your eyes and leaning back on your chair. 
“Okay okay. Don’t be so aggressive.” Namjoon chuckles before leaving you alone in the cabin. 
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You go through Jung Sua's records once more to verify if there's a health condition you should be aware of. But there isn't anything. 
Just when you close the file, a knock rings on the cabin door. 
You sit straight. Ready to welcome a new friend. 
Yuna, your assistant, knocks once more before pushing the door slowly. She walks in first and then holds the door open for the guests. 
And the cutest seven years old, you have ever seen, walks inside. She's so small that she can be easily mistaken for a five year old. Her chubby cheeks and immaculately done pigtails makes her look like a doll. 
You almost coo at the sight. 
Even though you mostly work with kids, for the past year you were working with only teenagers. It's been long since you had the pleasure to serve yourself for a kid less than ten years old, let alone a seven year one. 
"Hello there, Miss Sua. How are you doing?" You say in a jovial voice, trudging towards the baby. 
Sua tenses a bit and looks behind her, looking for shelter from her father. He stands right behind Sua, offering her to hold one of his hands. Sua takes that readily.
You come forward and sit on your knees to maintain an eye level with your new friend. 
"Don't worry. I'm your new friend. My name is Y/N." You offer her your hand. She hesitates a bit and then looks at her father for confirmation.
You follow her cue and tilt your head up to take a look at the father of your counselee.
Only if you weren't the embodiment of damsel of distress these days, you could very well have a love at first sight. 
The man flaunts a pair of incredibly beautiful yet intimidating eyes, a chiseled jaw that can cut you into pieces, perfectly styled dark hair that falls on his face, and a pair of heart shaped lips which enhances the overall beauty of his face. The fitted dress pants and the black dress shirt give hints of the lithe, well-structured body that lies inside. 
He smiles at you, you do the same. And then you feel a softer, smaller hand wrapping up your fingertips lightly. 
Her cuteness makes you giggle. 
You stand up, taking her hand on yours, you start walking towards a cozier corner of your cabin, where you usually counsel kids. Her father follows you closely behind. 
There's a small and round glass table along with three chairs. One is meant for you and two others are meant for the counselees and their guardians. 
You turn towards Sua’s father. Smiling a little and you say “You need to take the seat first, so that she can be assured it is safe here.” 
“Sure” he replies. His voice is smooth and light, a contrast to his dark and manly features. 
He sits down on the bigger chair and pats on the smaller one, “come on Sua, com ‘ere.” 
Sua leaves your hand and wiggles towards her dad. She easily plops down on her seat. 
“Yuna, can you prepare the game room please?” You ask your assistant.
“Sure, Y/N” She says before closing the door as you get comfortable in your own chair. 
Sua regards you with her big, round doe eyes. She looks at you so intensely as if you have grown two horns in your head. 
You chuckle a bit, “Sua, don’t you like your new friend? Don’t you like me?” 
Sua stays silent. 
“Sua is very friendly. I am sure she will like Y/N very soon. Isn’t it, baby?” Sua’s father chimes in, squeezing one of her little hands with his bigger, rougher ones. 
You are so accustomed to your patients and their guardians to address you as “doctor”, that you had to take a moment after your name rolled out of Mr. Jung’s mouth. 
The change is welcomed anyway. 
You divert your eyes from Sua to him, only to find him smiling at you warmly. You mirror his smile. His smile is so damn gorgeous that you can’t help but feel contaminated with it. 
“Sua, what do you like to play the most?” you focus on Sua again.
“Mario kart” she replies briefly, staring down at her feet. 
“Okay. That's a great game. But what would you like to play outside? For example with your classmates during lunchtime?” You place your next question. 
“My classmates don’t play with me.” She was quick with her answer. 
Your smile drops instantly and you already start mapping out all the possible sources of the issues she is facing. 
Nodding to yourself in understanding, you proceed, “Okay, let’s not talk about games anymore. You tell me what you like more, oranges or mangoes?”
“Mangoes.” she replies. 
“Okay” standing up from your seat, you walk towards your table and call Yuna. She comes within a few seconds. 
You instruct her to take Sua to the game room and treat her to some delicious mango juice. Even though Sua hesitates for a bit, her father’s encouragement works really well. 
As soon as Sua leaves the room, you find yourself quite nervous under the intimidating gaze of Mr. Jung. 
This setting is nothing new. You have been into one-on-one conversations with your counselees’ parents for more times than you can count. But none of them were as young and attractive as Mr. Jung. 
You inhale a long breath before continuing, “so, Mr. Jung, since when did you start noticing these changes in Sua?” 
“Almost a month ago. I can’t pinpoint an exact date but she has gradually become very quiet over this last month. She used to be very chatty. She used to tell me every little thing in detail about her day, her friends, what she had for lunch, what colors she used in drawings and so on. Now-a-days her answers have become vague and insignificant.” Mr. Jung sighs.
“Hmm. and the nightmares?” you ask, scribbling on the ipad. 
“Around the same time. She woke up at 2 in the morning, ran to my room crying and breathing heavily. She didn’t tell me what it was about but kept on saying she was afraid. The same thing happened two more times.” He completes. 
“Umm. The next question might be a little personal but the information is required for future counsellings. I ask for your understanding.” you sit straight. He nods. 
“You said she came running to you when she had nightmares. Hence, I assume you were alone in the room. What about Sua’s mother?” 
“I am a single dad, Doctor. Sua’s mother and I were in a casual relationship when she conceived with Sua unexpectedly. Both of us were just starting our careers so it was tough for us to think of getting married. On the top of that we didn’t like each other enough to proceed with that option. So, we decided to co-parent. But…” he pauses, takes in a long breath and then continues, “she disappeared after giving birth. She left a note behind as an apology, saying that she is not ready to be a mother, asking me not to contact her anymore. My mother and sister helped me in raising Sua so beautifully. They are the only ones to become something close to a mother figure for her. That’s all.” 
You feel something warm flooding in your chest. You don’t know what it is, it can be respect, can be sympathy, can be even admiration for this man who you don’t even know properly. 
A genuine smile takes over your face as you mutter, “You have done a great job Mr. Jung. You have raised a beautiful daughter all by yourself. You have worked hard.” 
Mr, Jung’s dark eyes flood with some emotions you can’t quite name. He stares at you intensely, so much so that you feel he is reading you inside out. You can’t help but stare back at him. 
“Call me Hoseok. So that I can call you by your name too. Is that okay, Y/N?” his voice is deeper than earlier, his smile is lopsided, more like a smirk. 
You find yourself easily smiling along with him, something that has been quite tough for you to do for the past few months. 
“Sure. Hoseok.” Your reply comes out without any further thought.   
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Taglist:-
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @soraviie @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @xjoonchildx @justmewondering-recs @cuteipat @miakey98 @purpleanchorcrown @chimmisbae @ane102 @junniesoleilkth @terjeonbebas @kookssecret @appleh4ad @kayleeshinee @whoa-jo
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lumosatnight · 1 year ago
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23 Fic Recs 2023!
This year has definitely been a year. I've devoured so many wonderful fics by so many amazing authors. Thank you @hprecfest for the super fun rec categories and for some fic inspiration! Here are 23 fics that I read and loved in 2023 (although some are quite a few years older) ordered by ship.
🌼 - fluff | 💔 - angst | 🔥 - smut
💫 DRARRY 💫
1. A post-canon fic
The Discreet Gentleman's Connection by pluto (gayrights420) [Drarry, E, 80.4k] 🌼🔥 I had the absolute pleasure of beta-ing for this fic, so when I say it is amazing, it truly is just that. Fast burn on the smut via Floo sex, slow burn on the in-person falling in love. Satisfying in all the best possible ways.
2. A fic that made me laugh
AITA for being "obsessed" with my childhood nemesis? by @rainstormradish [Drarry, M, 4.3k] 🌼📲 Draco on a reddit forum is hilarious just on its own, but the banter and formatting really bring this fic to life. Amazingly creative, had me in stitches!
3. A comfort fic
The Eighth Tale by @letteredlettered [Drarry, E, 12.0k] 💔⏳ An oldie but a goodie. I constantly find myself coming back to this fic and having my mind blown every single time. Time travel timey-wimey angst.
4. A fic with art
Dating Draco - A Visual Game by @itsphantasmagoria [Drarry, M, Video Game] 🌼🎮 This is a fic in video game form!! Amazing art and lovely story where YOU get to make the choices for Drarry's happily ever after.
5. A favorite series
The Journal of Dreadful Things by @lilbeanz [Drarry, G, 112k, WIP] 🌼📖 Hilarious, witty, AND COMES WITH ART!! Lilbeanz draws and writes a wonderfully delightful series starting from Draco's First Year. His characterization had me in hysterics. Book 4 is starting soon!
💫 COMMON SHIPS 💫
6. Fic with the hottest smut
Moonstruck by @prettyremus [Wolfstar, E, 3.8k] 🔥🐺 Found this gem while scrolling through the werewolf smut tag (don't judge me). I love the switch in dynamic with Sirius taming Remus's wolf through, ahem, rough sex.
7. An unreliable narrator fic
Sea of White by @dividawrites [Harrymort, E, 8.6k] 🔥🤍 Deliciously hot, creepy, and strangely sweet. Love their dynamic here, the unrestrained lust. Harrymort "die" and lose their memories, so, of course, then they bang.
8. A fic that made me cry
Far Apart, Far Away by @unmistakablyoatmeal [Hinny, minor Drarry, T, 1.6k] 💔💍 Infidelity angst has never been this good. I love the layers of emotion in this fic. Quick punchy sections that really pulled me in.
9. A Muggle(?) AU fic
Pleasant Hope by @ac1d6urn, @sinick [Snarry, E, 41.6k] 💔⛪️ Pastor Severus!! The angst, pining, and self-discovery in this fic is superb! I love the interwoven magic and detailed world-building of this little town.
💫 RARE PAIRS 💫
10. A fav amongst faves
The Last Trial of Peter Pettigrew by @sleepstxtic [Prongstail, M, 20.8k] 💔 🐀 Holy moly, this fic!!!! Is this my new favorite fic?? Possibly. The concept is brilliant, so creative and nuanced. The Peter character study using outsider perspectives is genius. Seamlessly balances canon and new scenes.
11. A pre-canon fic
Careless by @tax-onomic [Luther, E, 1.5k] 🔥🪞 Lucius/Arthur my beloved rare pair!! I am captain of the Luther ship, and Tax's fic hits all the right spots. The pining, the sniping, the prickly personalities with emotional vulnerability underneath! And all in the middle of a hot smut scene. Perfect.
12. A canon-compliant fic
Scottish by thepadfoots [Chedric, G, 749] 💔🌟 Lovely Cho character study focused around her Asian identity and the boy she loved.
13. A fic rated G (more like T though)
Lion-Hearted Girl by MinnieQuill (odainath) [Minmione, G, 4.5k] 💔🦁 I know the large age gap might scare some, but their relationship feels very organic in this fic. The setting is grim, but there is always hope in the darkness!
14. A fic rated T
You're So Vane by @patriceavril [Romelina, T, 6.8k] 🌼💄Romilda is so delightfully characterized, I was smiling through the entire fic. Angelina is the perfect foil (and love interest) to Romilda's attentions.
15. A rare pair fic (less than 2000 fics on AO3)
Snakeskin by @cntrl15 [Bellastoria, E, 3.7k] 🔥👠 Talk about a rare pair! Astoria/Bellatrix only has 2 tagged fics on AO3: this fic and the drabble I wrote based on it. But read this fic, and you'll see why I felt the need to write more in this universe.
16. A fest fic
Master of None by @nanneramma [Snormac, G, 5.5k] 🌼🧘 Severus is so wonderfully cranky, and Cormac is fine AF. The surprise pairing of 2023 that I never knew I needed and now I'm obsessed with!
17. An under-rated fic
Sun, Shadow, Shade by @naomijameston [Snuna, G, 700] 🌼☀️ Post-war fluff. Sunshine Luna is the perfect match for sullen Snape. A short and sweet fic for this underrated ship.
18. A canon-divergent fic
but somebody's gotta do it by nocturn [Pangulus, T, 920] 😄🧟‍♂️ This fic will make you say WTF but also huh, okay that totally works. The concept is WILD but Lyra executes it wonderfully. Pansy drags Regulus out of the inferi lake and they flirt a little while he gets de-corpsified lol.
💫 POLY SHIPS 💫
19. A dark fic
In his embrace by @loneamaryllis [Snarrymort, het!Snarry, E, 48k] ⚡️👀 Dark and dirty but so so good. A Voldemort Wins AU where fem!Harry is taken as prisoner. Snape's mindset as he tries to save her (and is forced to rape her) is so twisted and mesmerizing. Mind the tags!
20. A thought-provoking fic
Icarus by @thistlecatfics [Millvansy, M, 20.0k] 💔🍾 War trauma, addiction, codependency! This fic is messy with emotions but has a strong, beating heart underneath. I am in love with Parvati as she deals with Pansy's addiction and Millicent's denial — three beautiful, imperfect girls.
21. A holiday fic
A Time, Dark and Divine by @moonflower-rose [Dronarry, E, 17.0k] 🔥⛱ HOLY FREAKING FUCK!! The sexual tension in this fic is off the freaking charts. Drarry seducing Ron while on vacation in Portugal. Sign me the fuck up!
💫 GEN 💫
22. A favorite fic under 5k
The Scrunchie by @saintsenara [Lightning Era Girls, G, 4.5k] 💖👭 Such a lovely look into some of the female background characters, all following the path of a single scrunchie. Lisa, Padma, Parvati, Hannah, Sally-Anne.
23. A fic with an ending I can't stop thinking about
Through the Middlegame by @sandervansunshine [Astoria & Peter, T, 6.6k] 💔♜ Devastating, heart-wrenching, tragic. 10000% would recommend. Kylee has already heard me screaming in the servers about this fic. If I could get a fic tattooed straight onto my brain, this would be it.
💫 BONUS RECS! 💫
A podfic
Plenitude by @wilfriede, written by eldritcher [Amelmione, M, 14 min] 💔🥀 Amazing voices, amazing music, amazing ambience. Wilfriede really brings one of my fav Hermione/Amelia Bones fics to life in this podfic!
A comic
War Prize by @mrviran [Snegulus, Reggiemort, M, Comic, WIP] ☠️🐍 The panels are awe-inspiring. I am HOOKED on this comic. The murder and the TENSION. Ughhhhh so good. I am so invested in Severus's arc!!
A self-rec (completely self-indulgent)
For I Have Found Salvation by @lumosatnight [Snarry, E, 7.1k] 🔥✝ My first time writing Snarry! Priest Kink, church sex, and blasphemous religious imagery. Priest Severus is oh-so-tempted by Teen Harry. So fun to write and even more fun to go back and read as a guilty pleasure.
⚡️ Want more fics to read? ⚡️
Try my rec tag: #lumosinthelibrary
Year in Reading, b-day oneshots, WLW Library
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holidayinhell · 3 months ago
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Interview
CWs: references to noncon, violence
1. Would you rather - Rope or Chains?
R: Rope.
W: Chains, dear god, chains any day. Ropes fucking burn.
2. If Whumpee had multiple Whumpers, who is their favourite? For Whumpers, which Whumpee was your favourite?
R: Yeah, I’ve got a favorite. A couple years back I had a Whumpee who fought me at every turn. He'd throw his food at me, cuss me out, and try to attack me. One time he scratched absolute shit outta my arms. Anyways, I got tired of his shitty attitude and decided to kill him. I didn't keep it a secret, I told him he was gonna die. But when I went in to do it, he changed completely. No more screaming, no spark in his eye. He got quiet. Heh, he got all lovey dovey with me even. You know, lots of people say they’ll do anything if only you’ll spare their life. I never did cash in on that promise, but on this Whumpee, I put it to the fucking test. Heh. He let me do whatever I wanted to him. Depraved, horrible things, that would make the most degenerate man blush. Heh, and even though he was crying through most of it, he still pretended to like everything I did to him. And god. You should’ve seen his eyes when I told him I was still gonna kill him. That look. I think about it still.
W: I can’t. glances over at Whumper. Next question please.
3: In your opinion, what is the best way to train a pet?
R: Humans are fickle fucking beasts. You have to break down someone’s pride in order to train them. I start off with food deprivation, that usually helps me gauge what kind of fight I’m in for.
W: Positive reinforcement has always worked for me… I’ve only ever had a pet bearded dragon though.
4: Broken ribs or bullet wound? 
R: Both.
W: These questions are uncomfortable to answer. But, uh, bullet wound I guess. Assuming it didn’t graze any organs.
5: Preferred type of gag? 
R: I like a fabric gag. Or a simple piece of duct tape. Sometimes they come off and I get to squeeze a little scream out of Whumpee, and then I put a fresh one right back on. I kinda like the cycle of it.
W: I don’t have a preference… none? I guess the metal bit one isn't the worst of them. It hurts my teeth but at least I can still kinda breathe.
6: Burned or stabbed?
R: Stabbed.
W: Stabbed, I guess?
7: Favourite stress position? 
R: An old-fashioned hogtie. I guess I’m unimaginative but I don’t get too crazy into the BDSM shit. Who has the patience for that?
W: Uhh.. just, handcuffs behind my back. Something relatively comfortable.
8: Have you given or received any Brands? What do they signify?
R: Heh. No. Never been branded. I certainly have had my fun branding Whumpee though.
W: I… have two… Uhm. One on my chest that, thank Christ, is almost all the way healed. It said, uh, swine. The other one is on my back, it’s a lot worse. I don’t know what it says but I can feel it so it’s um, it’s here to stay, I guess.
R: It says Nice Try. Remember?
W: Not really.
R: From your second half-hearted escape attempt. Didn't realize you forgot. But I did hit you pretty fucking hard that night.
9: Broken arm or broken leg? 
R: Leg.
W: Arm. A million times, arm.
10: How did you get here? Why are you the way that you are?
R: I live here. Far as I know, I’ve always been 'like this'-- whatever the hell that means. And I don’t see a problem with it. We’re all free to do as we like, so that’s what I fucking do.
W: I dunno. I, I was outside, it was dark and I think it was raining…yeah… heading home from the bar. I didn’t drink that much. I didn’t live that far, either, so the rain wasn’t a problem. I remember falling down and then… I woke up here. And I’ve been here ever since.
11: What is your biggest regret?
R: I wish this Whumpee could’ve learned a thing or two from my defiant Whumpee in the second question you asked. I wanna get my dick sucked like that every fucking night.
W: Regrets... yeah, I've got a few. One stands out. It was late at night, Whumper didn't tie me up. I snuck out of my cell and I made it to the steps. Almost to the top, nearly all the way out. The door was unlocked and cracked open a little, I thought I could make a run for it and—
R: —I was waiting for you at the top. Heh. I wanted to see if you'd run, and you sure tried to. Not so much after that, though.
12: Is there a line you won’t cross? For Whumpee, what do you most fear Whumper might do?
R: A line I wouldn’t cross? Uhhh…. No. No, I don’t think so. I’ll cross any fucking line. turns to Whumpee, grinning. So what are you afraid of, Whumpee?
W: I, um. Does he really have to be here when I answer these questions?
R: Tell them, Whumpee.
W: Can I whisper it to you? (he’s already done so much to me, so fucking much… it’s dumb but I don’t want him to shave my head.)
R: smirks. You know I heard that.
13: What lessons have you taken away from your experience?
R: Everything has been the same old, same old for me. Guess this Whumpee’s lasted longer than the rest of ‘em. He’s coming up on a year soon. Kind of impressive he’s stuck around this long and hasn’t given me a reason to kill him yet.
W: I don’t know. I do what I’m told so I can eat. I take it day by day. I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that abandoning pride is the only way to survive…
14: Whip or cane?
R: Whip.
W: Yeah. Whip.
R: Didn’t expect you to say that. Noted.
15: Drugged or coherent?
R: Depends on the situation. Drugging them is useful for transport but I don’t much like it when they’re too dazed to understand what’s happening. Sometimes they fall asleep, too.
W: Drug me any fucking day. I don’t care. I’ll take whatever you have.
16: What are your true, honest feelings about each other? Is there some part of you that cares for the other at all?
R: Sometimes I like to touch him. He’s warm and it’s funny when he tries to squirm away. Plus I like it when he begs me to stop. But do I care about him? …eh. Sure, sorta. He’s my plaything.
W: Erm. Thanks, I guess. For me… Whumper is the reason I’m here. I guess I’m appreciative for the food… but he does hurt me. A lot. Constantly.
R: You're very welcome.
17: What is your favourite thing about the other? A personality trait, a physical feature, anything
R: He’s got pretty hair. A kind of pretty face, too. Yeah, almost like a girl. Heh. And he makes good sounds when he’s screaming.
W: Ah. Fuck. I really don’t know how to answer this…
R: Come on. What’s your favorite part?
W: Um. Well, I'll say this: Whumper is smart. Scary smart. I don’t think anyone would ever imagine how smart. I don’t know. I don’t. It’s… terrifying.
18: Do you have relationships outside of each other? Friends, family - if yes, do they know about Whumpee? Do they care?
R: Yes, yes, and no.
W: I have a half sister in, uh, Arkansas. We’re not close, obviously… used to have friends I guess, but it’s been a long time since I saw them…
19: What other hobbies do/did you have?
R: Video games. 
W: I used to play saxophone. A lifetime ago.
20: For Whumper, is there any chance you’ll let Whumpee go? For Whumpee, have you ever thought about life after you’re free?
R: No. Sorry. Realistically, it doesn’t make sense to ‘let him go.’
W: I, uh, I used to think about it. I don't anymore… like he said.. realistically it doesn’t make any sense.
R: Mm. Good answer, Whumpee.
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this interview uses the questions from Character Ask Game post by @inhurtandincomfort !! thanks homie!
((more Whump))
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janeyseymour · 11 months ago
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Love Thy Neighbor- pt 7
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6.
Summary: You're sick after Ellie. Who is there to take care of you, but the woman that you've fallen in love with- and also your neighbor and coworker.
WC: ~1.75k
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She kisses you back. Of course she does. But this time, when she pulls back, there’s a look of panic on her face instead of yours.
“Y/N,” she whispers.
“You’re worth the risk,” you tell her softly, pulling her in again. “But we should probably talk about all of this when Ellie isn’t going to possibly wake up in our laps.”
She nods, but she doesn’t make any moves to leave. The redhead instead wraps an arm around you and tugs you in closer, if that’s even possible. Her hand gently finds its way around your waist, and she absentmindedly traces patterns on your hipbone while the other hand gently runs its way through your daughter’s hair.
You shift just slightly to lay your head on her shoulder, and that’s when you feel a delicate kiss pressed to your temple.
It’s been a while since you’ve felt that. Your ex-husband used to do that all the time, but long before you had even caught him cheating (although you had an inkling) he had stopped that sweet habit of his. You take a shaky breath.
“You okay, hun?” Melissa picks up on it immediately and looks down at you worriedly. She can read you like a book- she’s always been able to. She could read you from the second she saw you in the parking garage trying to diffuse that meltdown from your daughter.
You nod. “Jared used to kiss my temple a lot,” you admit quietly.
“I won’t do it again,” she tells you. “I’m sorry.”
You shake your head as you take another breath. “No. I liked it… it’s just been a while since there’s been any sort of romance in my life- it’s going to take getting used to again.”
“I understand,” Melissa whispers to you as she kisses your head again. “We’ll take it at your pace- just like we have been.”
You smile at her sadly. “Thank you for being so wonderful. You didn’t have to wait for me.”
“I didn’t have to, but like you said… you’re so special. Worth the wait and all the risks in the world.”
When Ellie wakes up, she insists that Melissa stay with the two of you. So the redhead follows you into your room and lays down with both of you- the little girl sandwiched in between the two of you. She whines that you two aren’t close enough for to lay on both of your bodies, forcing Melissa to get closer to you- so close that you’re hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder. Only then is your daughter satisfied and able to fall asleep with the help of your neighbor’s soft voice singing Italian lullabies.
Once your little girl’s breath evens out, Melissa stops. She turns her head to look at you in the soft light that is trickling in from the moonlight, and she kisses you gently.
You wake up before your alarm feeling absolutely terrible- whatever Ellie has, so do you. You also wake up without your daughter on you. You poke your head up just slightly to see that your girl is now on the other side of your neighbor, curled into her tightly with the blankets up to her chin. And then you realize that your arm is slung around Melissa’s waist and holding onto her tightly. You let her go to roll onto your back- and then the sickness really does hit you.
How did you catch it so quickly? Ellie was hardly around you yesterday, instead choosing to be held by her new favorite person.
The cough that you let out is horrendous, and it wakes Melissa with a small jolt.
“Sorry,” you rasp out.
She turns just her head, still holding your sleeping daughter to her chest. “You caught it.”
“Yeah,” you sigh. “But I’ll be fine.”
“No you will not be,” she rolls her eyes. “You’ll be staying home so you and your daughter can rest.”
“I don’t have any sub plans, so I have to just make do,” you cough out.
Those green eyes are rolled again. “I have sub plans from last year. I’ll put them in your room, because you are not going into school today.”
“Mel.”
She takes one hand away from around Ellie and lays it on your forehead and then on your cheek. “You’re already burning up.”
“I’ll be fine.” You go to sit up when a wave of nausea hits you, and you’re forced to lay back down. “How are you not dying right now?”
“Immune system of steel,” she chuckles out softly. “I already told you that.”
The alarm clock in your room goes off, and Ellie opens one eye before curling into the redhead even more.
“I have to go to work, sweetheart,” Melissa tells her gently. “You gotta let me up.”
“I go see Mrs. Howard?” your daughter asks sleepily.
The second grade teacher smiles softly. “No, hun. You’re gonna stay home with your momma today and get some rest.”
“But-”
“Cuddle with your momma,” Melissa directs her gently over her and into your arms. “She isn’t feelin’ too great either, so when I get home it’s snuggles and soup for both of you. Okay?”
Ellie hums and curls up against you. Melissa makes her way out quietly, but not before pressing a gentle kiss to your daughter’s head and then one to your own. Even in your sickly state, you can’t help but smile softly. You’re asleep with your little girl before she even leaves the apartment complex.
The next time you open your eyes, the clock is reading 11:30. Ellie is sitting up and playing with her dolls next to you quietly. She beams over at you when she sees that you’ve finally risen.
“You feelin’ better, baby?” you croak out.
She nods. “All better!” That makes you smile- having a sick child is never fun. And, if she’s feeling better today, the chances of you feeling okay or at least better tomorrow are much higher. 
You manage to get yourself out of bed to make your child lunch, but even then it’s really only to heat up the soup that Melissa had made last night before laying on the couch.
Ellie plays with her toys on the floor before curling up with you and acting as your human blanket while she watches cartoons- you don’t have it in you to entertain her with anything other than a screen right now.
The next thing you know, Ellie is quietly climbing off of you to open the door for no other than Melissa Schemmenti.
You peel your eyes open to see her making her way in. 
“How’re you feelin’?” she asks you, although Ellie answers.
“I’m all better!” she grins a toothy grin. “But Momma is not feelin’ good. She sleeped all day.”
“Slept,” the two of you correct her gently at the same time.
“Why don’t you come spend some time over at my place while we let your momma rest?” the redhead suggests gently.
Ellie nods eagerly before looking at you, but you’re half asleep again. Melissa takes it upon herself to just lift your little girl onto her hip and take her across the hall.
You only stir when your neighbor brings your sleeping girl back over.
“Oh, god,” you groan. “I’m a terrible mother.”
“No you’re not,” Melissa scolds you softly. “Let me just put her to bed, and then I can take care of you a little more.”
“But she-”
“She’s fed, she’s in her pajamas and shouldn’t wake up through the night because I had her use the bathroom a couple times before we settled on the couch, and she’ll be ready to go to school with me tomorrow if you’re still feeling under the weather.”
“You’re the best,” you cough a few times as the redhead heads in the direction of your daughter’s room.
She returns a few minutes later, although she passes you and heads straight for the kitchen. She comes sauntering back in a few minutes later with a hot cup of tea for you, which you take gratefully.
“You’re cute when you’re sick,” she notes softly as she sits next to your head. She pats her lap gently, and you move so you’re resting your head on her.
“No I’m not,” you laugh softly. “Jesus, I feel like shit.”
“I’m sorry you still feel like crap.” She looks down at you with so much love in her eyes before pressing her warm hand to your forehead. “Good news is your fever broke.”
“Thank God,” you mumble. “Who was my sub today, and were the kids okay?”
“Ava,” the woman tells you. “But they did great with her. I told them I would let you know how wonderful they were and that they definitely deserve a class compliment star.”
“That’s so good,” you sigh softly as you sit up to sip the tea. You make a face. “I don’t have honey?”
“I bought some on my way home today,” she waves you off. “You’re gonna need it.”
“Thank you,” you mumble as you lay back down.
The two of you watch television for a bit before the redhead can feel your breath evening out as you give back into your slumber. She glances down at you, soft smile appearing on her face as she realizes that she’s the lucky one that gets to take care of you and Ellie. Knowing that she should probably be getting ready for bed herself, she gathers you in her arms and takes you back into your bedroom. She lays you down gently before pressing a delicate kiss to your temple and pulling the blankets up to your chin. You shiver and wake when she’s turning away.
“Stay?” you request softly, catching her by the sweatshirt sleeve. She turns back with a smirk on her face before crawling into the other side of the bed with you.
You curl into her, desperately searching for some sort of warmth- you’re still freezing your ass off despite having spent all day in a sweatshirt, sweatpants, two pairs of socks, and your robe tied around you tightly.
“You’re still cold?” she raises a brow as she wraps her arm around you. You shrug. Before you know it, you’re asleep.
You wake up to Ellie whipping open the door. Her eyes are wide when she realizes that you and Melissa spent the night together without her. 
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blouisparadise · 6 months ago
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Today we have the second part to our long fic rec list! These fics are all 100k words or more. If you missed the first part to this rec list, you can check it out here. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word.
1) The Rose of Whitechapel | Mature | 100,181 words
Jack the Ripper AU - Detective Constable Harry Styles and his partner, DC Liam Payne, lead the case on the Whitechapel murders. Louis Tomlinson, the Rose of Whitechapel, is harbouring secrets of his own, along with a dark and sordid past. When their paths cross, truths are revealed, and perhaps hearts are mended… A darkness is brewing, and it’s finally come to collect on the promise it was made.
2) The Maddest Obsession | Explicit | 100,974 words
One fears the dark. One rules it. Harry Styles, the dangerous mob enforcer, finds himself entangled with Louis, the strong-willed mafia-princess. As they navigate the treacherous underworld of New York, their forbidden love sparks a deadly game of loyalty, betrayal, and passion. Will their devotion to each other overcome the chaos surrounding them, or will their love be their downfall?
3) Shadow Dances | Mature | 101,591 words
Louis Tomlinson has a begrudging gift, he’s able to communicate with the spirits of the dead. Often against his will, and almost always at the most inconvenient of times. He and his partner, Zayn Malik, work for a covert division of the New Haven Federal Bureau of Investigations. They aid in all kinds of cases, though their talents lie in the obscure and unsolvable. It’s when a strange new case falls onto their desks that they’re left questioning the extent of their abilities, and whether they were ever truly alone. Harry Styles was brought into the FBI for not only his skills, but his ability to mitigate the influx of spirits surrounding the elusive and obnoxiously infuriating sharp-tongued medium he’d been assigned to. Louis gets under his skin, he’s impulsive and a risk to the team according to Harry. They do however have to find a way to set aside their sordid history, and their reluctant attraction, to track down the murderer plaguing their coastal city.
4) Billow And Breeze (Islands And Seas) | Explicit | 102,506 words
It was bright; that was the first thing Louis could recall. With a groan, he winced at the throbbing behind the sockets of his eyes and rubbed his temples in an effort to soothe the pain. Maybe he really did hit his head when he took his tumble. The omega squinted as he looked at the surrounding rolling hills and fog hanging over the countryside. As strange as it was, the world felt different, though it looked practically the same. Disoriented and confused, Louis padded through the moss and listened for his husband. “Liam?” he croaked shakily. Nothing but a symphony of woodland creatures met his ears. His footsteps were muted by mossy green grass beneath his feet and soil fragrant as he neared the crest of the hill. At the top, he froze, lips parted in horror and eyes widening at the expanse of empty farmland—not a soul in sight. It had only been less than ten minutes prior that he could see Inverness from the crest, but now there was nothing. “Impossible,” he whispered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief—his mind not quite able to make sense of it.
5) Praise the Mutilated World | Explicit | 106,668 words 
An enemies to lovers dystopian au where Harry is an elite alpha and Louis is a rebel omega with too much to fight for. Every move made is monitored, and a fertile omega’s purpose in life is one thing: to give children to their alpha.
6) My Kind Of Love | General Audiences | 108,178 words
Harry marries Louis for one year. Louis has no choice other than marry Harry fucking styles. There is a reason behind Harry’s sudden marriage with Louis and Louis has no idea about that. Maybe Harry married Louis for revenge.
7) Only You And Me | Not Rated | 109,836 words
Note: This is the sequel to this fic.
Louis goes on with his life after Harry, he hopes Harry comes back to him but is also on the search for something new. Will Harry reach out to Louis, or will Louis get over him and find something better?
8) You’ve Got A Higher Power, You’re Once In Any Lifetime | Explicit | 113,444 words
Giving up and letting them think they’re right were never valid options in Louis Tomlinson’s mind. In a society full of prejudices, finding a family and being accepted, also seemed like an unrealistic utopia. Louis sets out to do what no other of his kind ever has before and in doing so, he finds love, friendship and more about himself than he thought he would.
9) Like Water Over Fire (Like Water On Fire) | Mature | 119,264 words
Prince Harry has 46 men and 13 weeks to find the husband of his dreams, Louis has a limited amount to time to live out a royal fantasy. They might just be exactly what the other needs.
10) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices | Mature | 126,057 words
A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they’re forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.
11) Chandeliers And Fake Smiles | Mature | 145,010 words
On the brink of winning their first Grammy; up-and-coming rock band One Direction find themselves in the midst of the biggest scandal of their career - right before tickets for their world tour go on sale. in order to save their reputation, Louis Tomlinson must find it in his heart to forgive pop singer and heartthrob Harry Styles after his first impression rubbed him entirely the wrong way. after all, they cannot sell a relationship if it looks like they hate each other.
12) Buy Me Purple Flowers First | Teen & Up | 157,728 words
Louis Tomlinson is a 24-year-old rock star who tends to be rebellious and known as a “brat” in the extended media. The Omega has yet to find a mate and has no interests in being in a committed relationship. Harry Styles is a 22-year-old Alpha Bodyguard known for his past of protecting some of the most important politicians and musicians of their time. He has settled on a temporary job as a favour of a friend to look after the famous Louis Tomlinson to finish the leg of his European tour.
13) How Many Times Will It Take (To Get This Right) | Explicit | 157,805 words
Harry was watching her go, unable to meet Louis’ eyes again now that they were alone, and that’s how he saw him when the young boy leaned around Jay to peer at his mum and Harry. Harry’s jaw went slack, his mouth falling open in disbelief when two green orbs identical to his own found him and stared unwaveringly calm into Harry’s sunglasses-covered face. His small features were undeniably close to Louis’. Their noses, their lips, even their brow line was the same, but the pup’s eyes were an eerily familiar shade of emerald, and much rounder than Louis’. His hair fell in dark ringlets around his small face, which was also much too round to really say the child looked like Louis, despite the similar features. Harry sputtered when his alpha roared in his chest that Harry should follow the kid–should protect his pup. But there was no fucking way.
14) Charmed | Mature | 163944 words
Louis had always felt he was different, but he had never understood why. At least until one particular event devasted hum, turning his life upside down forever and bringing to the surface a past he didn’t know, a present he thought he knew, and a series of unexpected events that will trigger the beginning of a future he’s not sure he wants to live.
15) Sewn Into You | Explicit | 167,486 words
Harry Styles thinks soulmates are a fairytale, or in other words-a lie. He has no interest in entertaining anything that has anything to do with the very name that had been etched along his collarbone since his eighteenth birthday. Louis Tomlinson won’t be answering to another alpha for the rest of his life if he can help it. Fuck happy endings, his soul mate can choke on it. Problem is, Harry needs a personal assistant to save his family’s business, Louis needs the cash to officially move off of his childhood best-friend’s couch. They can manage. Surely, nothing will go wrong.
16) Don’t Let It (Me) Break | Explicit | 168,297 words
The one where Harry is oblivious, Louis is broken, Zayn and Liam are in love, Gemma and Lottie are lovely, and Niall is just waiting for everyone to get their shit together.
17) Non-Disclosure | Mature | 170,219 words
Being a world class Director, producing some of the best rated Romance movies to date, Louis was easily a sucker for the ‘Happy Ever After’. Except, in a world where he pretends and imagines true love. He was stuck inbetween what he thought was the love of his life and everything trying to stop them. “I did a lot of thinking when I was gone and every scenario I came up with ended with you. I’m fucking scared and I have no idea what will happen from now but I’d risk it all, if you could promise me a lifetime”
18) You Smell Like | Explicit | 185,369 words
The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!
19) Three Days in February | Explicit | 187,642 words
How close is too close? Harry and Louis are about to find out after a drunken night leaves Louis cursed. With only a week before tour starts, the race is on to fix things before they lose Louis forever. Oh, and Harry has to keep his long-time crush on Louis a secret while the lad can literally hear his thoughts. Easy, right?
20) Collision | Not Rated | 226,294 words
Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.
21) Truth Behind Golden Eyes | Explicit | 228,727 words 
Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.
22) Join Me In The Afterlife | Explicit | 262,289 words
Louis is a simple guy - all he wants from his summer break is to spend some quality time with his mother, get to know her new husband, and learn to play the guitar. Nothing out of the ordinary, that is for sure. However, life has a funny way of working and when Louis finds a strange boy sitting on his bed one sunny day, his summer break takes a turn for the better (or worse) when he discovers a ghost has stolen his heart from the get-go.
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
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myownwholewildworld · 6 months ago
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wherever you go (a joel miller’s ff) - chapter 6
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chapter 5 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 7
pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader. (it's actually 2004 now)
summary: after months in the wilderness, you finally arrive at chicago. adapting to this new life has its cons, but also its perks. joel's birthday is around the corner, and you have planned for a couple of things you hope he likes...
a/n: hiya! here's chapter six!! it's packed with a bit of everything, especially drama because why not? 🤷 i want to thank you all ― i just realised that the first 3 chapters have hit over 100 notes each! i'm so damn grateful to all of you, honestly. as much as i'm writing for myself, i'm loving how hooked some of you are with this story 😳 also, i'd like to apologise in advance if i have butchered chicago's layout or its history, i did try my best doing some research. as always, thank you all for engaging. i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! even asks/requests if you want to! take care lovelies <3 x
warnings: 18+, mdni. mention of Sarah's death. angst. fluff. filthy smut (don't you know me by now?). porn with plot or plot with porn (however you wanna look at it). irresponsible use of contraception (don't do that). consensual somnophilia. dry humping. unprotected piv. masturbation (m and f). creampie. pussy slapping. fisting. squirting. cum play. a bit of assplay. makeup sex. sir kink. “bar” fight. alcohol consumption. blood. stabbing. swear words. mention of past racist events and the precursor to the chicago race riot of 1919. soft!dom!joel. a bit of aftercare. pet names (darlin’, sweetheart). i'm sure i'm forgetting something lol. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is now 37 (🎉!). no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov.
w/c: ~6.9k.
tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981 @fancyyoouu @smolbeanzzz
Chicago was definitely not what you had expected at all. Shit had gone down really badly in this place. It took you a week to cross the southwest area, keeping close to Interstate 55 as a reference. The worst you had seen was Chicago Midway International Airport. Airplanes had crashed on the runway, the esplanade was a makeshift cemetery even almost a year after Outbreak Day. Bodies piled on top of each other, fires would break out in the adjacent buildings. The control tower was completely dilapidated. And the grounds were full of clickers.
Tommy, Joel and you made it through the worst neighbourhoods. As you covered more miles, Tommy and Joel realised that this had not been the best idea. But you were already there, so the best option was to move forward. You all had to defend yourselves, and each other. Although the Miller brothers took out many attackers ―humans and infected alike―, you also had your good share of action. You didn’t like it, but you were good at shooting. Your clothes were stained with blood and sweat. You endured, and you survived. That was what mattered.
The whole city was in shambles, divided by two different groups: the government and the rebels. The government held the north side of the Chicago River, from River North Gallery District all the way to Old Town ― basically everything to the east of Interstate 90. The rebels, on the other hand, controlled the south ― all the movable bridges along the whole Wacker Drive, from New Eastside to Chinatown. Anything further south or north, and between Interstates 55 and 90, from Little Village to Naperville, was no man’s land.
You ended up on the rebels’ side randomly. Tommy was not very happy about it, blaming the communists for overpowering the government, but it wasn’t like you had a choice. If you tried to cross any bridge to go northwards, you would be shot at with no warning. From both sides.
It took a while to convince the Rioters ― that was how the rebels called themselves. Two weeks later, on the 20th of August, you were given a place to stay near the Art Institute of Chicago, which was also the operations base. You did try to integrate yourself in this society as you knew it was better to have more friends than foes. The Millers, however, kept to themselves ― Joel more than Tommy, as you had expected. No surprises there.
The flat you were in was in urgent need of repairs but was better than sleeping rough. You and Joel fixed as many things as you both could, while Tommy took cleaning very seriously. It wasn’t much, but it was the place you called home for the last month. The only downside was that it only had two bedrooms, so Joel and you sadly had to share the only double bed available, while Tommy had his own room.
You wouldn’t lie to yourself ― the last four weeks had been pure bliss in a sense. Waking up every day besides Joel had become a delightful habit. He had awakened you many a times either in the middle of the night or in the early morning to give him a hand. Literally. And you had done exactly the same thing when you had needed it. You were sure Tommy was sick and tired of you two, but you didn’t care.
You stretched out, still lying in bed. The morning light had not come through the curtains yet, but it soon would. You rubbed your eyes and then let your arms drop to your sides dramatically. You were not a morning person, but your sleeping schedule was all fucked up. You rolled to your other side in an attempt to get comfortable.
Joel was sleeping on his right side. You had noticed he usually did in the same position. When you had asked him why, he had explained his hearing in his right ear was messed up since his suicide attempt. You wished you could have been faster that day to prevent the gun from going off. Ah, the regrets you both had…
His back was towards you, him facing the door. Despite the repairs you all had done to the flat, it was still not the safest. Every night one of you would make sure all locks were engaged and would bar the front door. A few days ago, someone attempted to break in. Since then, all of you would sleep with a firearm nearby.
Today was Sunday ― 26th of September. Which meant it was Joel’s birthday, as well as the first anniversary of Outbreak Day. The anniversary of Sarah's death would be tomorrow too. You had tried to talk to Joel about today, but he didn’t seem to be interested in celebrating at all, which you completely understood. As much as you wanted to do something, you respected his decision. You had only planned for a couple of low-key things, which you hoped he wouldn’t mind.
He had fallen asleep only with his briefs on, the bedsheet draping around his legs. You couldn’t see, but you were damn sure he had his arms crossed at his chest, always on guard. Your eyes dwelled on his upper body, two perfect dimples on his lower back. His shoulders were broad and toned, his waist smaller. He was not the most muscular guy you had ever seen, but he was perfect the way he was. His calloused hands had shown you multiple times how good he was for you, despite what he thought of himself.
You couldn’t resist, your mouth dry. Your fingertips traced the curve of his neck, then his left shoulder down to his elbow. Your hand caressed his left hip and slipped down to his front, following his V line. Your fingers touched the elastic of his briefs ― and something else.
You gulped down the knot in your throat, your heart beating harder in your chest, when your fingertips brushed over the damp tip of his cock. Joel’s morning wood was so prominent, his glans had slipped out of his underwear and was showing. You wetted your lips as you stroked him carefully. A deep, almost guttural growl flowed from Joel’s chest.
You got closer to him in bed, your nipples grazing the skin on his back even through your pyjamas. It probably wasn’t the best time ― you knew he was tired, but you wanted him so badly. Liquid fire was pooling in your furrow, knowing his erection was right there for you to play with.
Your internal battle didn’t last long.
You pulled down his briefs to free his warm dick. You didn’t need to look to know his shaft was resting against his happy trail, the head touching his belly button. With no hesitation, you wrapped your fingers around his cock, squeezing him delicately. Then you slid your hand down his meaty column, holding him firmly, in a very slow but strong pump.
He groaned, still asleep as far as you could tell, as you started pumping him ― more heat and excitement gathering in your pussy. You dunked your fingers in your panties, touching yourself. You were already wet, the mere thought of making him yours was enough. You kissed his left shoulder at the same time he uncrossed his arms ― his left hand over yours, feeling the rhythm you were imparting on him.
He was awake.
Joel didn’t remember what he was dreaming about, but he was sure it wasn’t this. When he looked down and saw your tiny hand trying to muffle his cock, he closed his eyes with a sigh. That felt damn good. He was knackered after last night’s patrolling shift, but this was exactly what he needed to decompress.
He turned around, his back flat against the uncomfortable mattress. His eyes were pinned on yours, your sweet hand upping the speed. You leaned towards him and invaded his mouth with your devilish tongue. Joel moaned in the middle of the kiss ― his brain completely switched off. He could not think straight when you were handling him like that.
Quickly letting go of his erection and mouth, you got rid of your pyjama shorts and your underwear. Then you doubled down your efforts with the handjob ― his throbbing cock was calling for you. You could see a few drops of precum sliding off his veiny shaft, which you swiftly gathered with your thumb to rub them against his leaking slit. You felt his dick pulsating hard for you ― your cunt palpitating at exactly the same time, anticipating. Your bodies were fully synchronised.
You then climbed on top of him, his balls welcoming the touch from your puffy lips. You rolled your hips against his, looking for that friction you so much loved, and took a deep breath before taking off the top of your pyjamas, throwing it to one side. You bended down, your mouth looking for his, so thirsty.
“Good morning, handsome”, you whispered as a greeting.
“Mhmmm”, was the only thing he managed to hum, sleepy.
You smiled and broke off the contact, straightening your back. His rough hands slid from your knees, across your thighs, to your butt. He clasped your ass cheeks with assertiveness. With no more words than those, you took his steely cock in your hand and lifted your hips. You glided his glans over your damp fold a few times, your cunt beseeching to be stuffed.
You guided his tip to kiss your entrance and descended on his dick slowly, very slowly, the palms of your hands flat against his lower abdomen to steady yourself. You closed your eyes, head tilted backwards, and whined loudly. Each inch was a blessing. Once his cock was entirely inside of you, you peeked back down at him and did a circular motion with your hips. His eyes were so intense you couldn’t look away while you started riding him.
Joel closed his eyes unwillingly when the muscles in his lower belly cramped. He didn’t want to miss a single second of this, so forced himself to open them again ― he loved seeing how the pleasure transformed your beautiful features. Your half-lidded eyes, your lips parted, a river of pearly sweat coming down in between your bosom. Your perfectly round breasts bouncing in front of him. He was a lucky bastard.
He liberated your ass, his hands drifting to your bust, holding your tits. While he kneaded that tender flesh and coddled your nipples, you covered his hands with yours. You were still jumping on top of him, albeit more erratically, as you felt an orgasm hit you with full force. You mewled as your needy pussy discharged the seed of your pleasure all over him, hugging his hard erection, strangling his cock, encouraging him to come with you.
Joel was so damn close to coming, his nuts contracted with equal parts of pain and lust. He could feel your gush soaking his dick. He was about to lose his goddamn mind ― he needed to stop. His hands abandoned your breasts to place them on your butt to help you lift it up, so you would release his cock before it was too late.
“No, it’s okay. Fill me up, please, sir”, you wailed, your palms against his chest, your hips grinding against his.
Joel glimpsed at you with doubt. It was like you could read his mind, because you knew what he was thinking. You smiled softly, your wet pussy palpitating around his cock. You forced your inner walls to contract against him as you leaned forward to kiss him.
“I’ve got the morning after pill. Please, please, Joel, come inside, I beg you. Trust me”, you wept, laying down on top of him.
He thought himself mad for believing you, but he did. Because he was mad for you, regardless of what he tried to convince himself of. He lifted your butt up off his lap with his hands ― with the help of his legs, the heels of his feet against the bedsheets, he thrusted into you like a madman while you remained still on top of him. Drilling your weeping cunt, as hard and fast as he could. He just wanted to know how it felt just once; he wanted you to milk him dry.
Joel fucked you like there was no tomorrow, the room echoing with the squishy sounds and the impact of flesh on flesh. He was fucking you so hard that you came again at the same time he spilled his spent in you ― Joel groaned like you never heard him before. The slick warmth you felt inside made you smile, your face buried in the curve of his neck, your nipples brushing his. With his pulsing dick still inside of you, you bit the skin on his neck, leaving a mark behind.
“Happy birthday, sir”, you whispered in his ear.
That was your gift to him. And to yourself, because you had wanted this from the very first time he impaled you in the forest. You had had to trade a few bits for the morning after pill, but it was worth every single one of them. You felt your cave so clogged with him and his cum, you thought you had descended to hell.
You both stilled, catching your breaths. His dick was still twitching, housed by your greedy, soaked cunt.
A minute later, he sat up on the bed, bit your mouth and lifted your butt up, his cock becoming free. He quickly laid you down in fetal position ― resting on your righthand side, back slightly curved, head bowed, your knees bent touching your breasts. He placed a hand on your left hip and tilted your pelvis a bit forward, so he could inspect your heart-shaped ass and your puffy, reddened pussy framed by your inner thighs.
Just in time to see his cum gushing out of your hole, dripping across your perineum and then going downwards, skidding through your butt cheek. One of his digits caught the semen before it hit the bedsheets, retraced its steps back and shoved the cum back inside of you with the push of his finger.
“You can’t waste my gift to you, baby, it’d be so fucking rude of you”, he purred in your ear, his voice coarse and warm at the same time.
He laid on his side behind you, moving his index in a circular motion, looking for your g-spot and finding it. He stroked it dextrously, sliding it in and out slowly. You closed your eyes, and fisted the bedsheet in your hand, trying to hold onto something. Your mouth shaped a perfect ‘O’ when he bottomed out, quickly adding a second finger. And a third. Then a fourth.
It didn’t take long for your pussy to adjust to such delightful intrusion ― your inner walls felt like clay, reshaping around him. Joel could feel you relax around his fingers and took the chance, introducing his thumb in your pussy too. Now his entire hand was buried in your fluttering cunt, down to his wrist. He remained still for a hot minute while your muscles loosened up to house him.
Then he slowly started to pump his fist inside of you, back and forth, building up a steady pace. Joel bit your shoulder and then kissed it ― his tongue tasting the saltiness of your sweat.
By that point you couldn’t stop moaning very loudly ― the whole building was probably listening to your whoring screams as Joel fisted you relentlessly with his whole hand. Each push propelling his cum further inside of you as if he wanted it to take. He was thrusting you so harsh, your entire body was rocking back and forth on the bed. He was fucking you senseless just with his hand ― and you were loving every single second of it.
Your sticky cunt couldn’t take it for much longer ― it was wet, pulsating, contracting, overstimulated, yearning… Your pussy literally was his, and only his. The orgasm had been building up for so long now that when you let it go, weeping at the top of your lungs, it hit you like a motherfucking truck. Your whole body went into shock while you squirted ― you were shaking due to the force of your own release. For fuck’s sake, you could barely breathe.
You whimpered again when he removed his hand and rubbed your wetness all over your delicate folds. Before you could form a coherent thought, he spanked you on your crotch so firmly it tingled ― you almost died and went to heaven right there and then, biting into the pillow underneath your head. He kept on slapping your quivering cunt until your sensitive clit twitched one last time with devastating pleasure, contracting your uterus so the last trickle of cum oozed out of you. He caught it with his thumb and brushed it gently against your asshole, caressing the tight ring, until you fully relaxed.
You sighed, unable to move. You even felt dizzy. Your limbs felt so limp you didn’t think you could sit up, so you just stayed there, melting against the bedsheets. You hadn’t realised your eyes had welled up until a few tears ran down your cheeks. Tears of complete, utter joy ― there was no other way of describing it.
You were so damn grateful for this man, you swore to yourself you would never let him go. You had been with others, but none of your sexual partners had been so fucking attentive. Joel would always make sure you were completely satisfied, without fail. And that said a lot about him.
You rolled onto your back to look at him, wiping away the tears with a satisfied smile and dreamy eyes. He was still lying down on his side, his elbow against the bed, his head resting on the palm of his hand. He returned your smile ― such gesture transforming his rugged face. So gorgeous it tugged at your heart.
“Y’know, it was supposed to be all the way around today ― me fucking you until you begged”, you confessed, although it was not a complaint.
He grinned, his hand possessively cupping your mound. You parted your legs slightly so he could massage your sensitive furrow. It felt so calming after all that pussy-slapping he gifted you with.
“As redundant as it sounds, plans rarely go according to plan, sweetheart”.
Understatement of the fucking year, you thought.
You just laughed while his hand was still kneading your sticky flaps. Joel kissed your forehead before he took out his hand from in between your legs, your damp, intimate skin being swept by the cold air.
“The morning after pill?”, he asked a minute later.
“I got it from Kelsey, it’s in date. Don’t panic, it’s okay. I have three days to take it. Which made me think… I don’t need to do it straight away, right?”, you glanced up at him, a wide smile on your lips.
“Mhmm, I mean, it would be a waste otherwise, I guess”, he replied, tucking a stray hairlock behind your ear. “But I need a minute here, darlin’. You work miracles, but even I have limits. Wait up”, he mumbled grumpily as he palmed his left wrist, and then got out of bed while he tucked away his member back in his briefs.
Joel headed towards the en-suite bathroom. He came back out only a few seconds later ― you could see panic in his eyes. You sat back up on the mattress quickly.
“What is it, Joel?”, you asked with worry, kneeling on the bed.
“My wristwatch, I can’t find it. I am sure I left it by the sink before I came to bed last night. I can’t lose it. I can’t”, he was now frantically searching his bedside table, panic growing in his tone.
You bit down your lip, because you knew where it was. In the drawer of your nightstand. You had taken it in the middle of the night because your second present was getting it repaired for him today.
“I have it”, you whispered, shrugging with an apologetic smile.
“What? Why?”, he approached you, extending his hand towards you, his tone so serious. “Give it back now”, he almost growled at you.
His reaction took you completely off guard. Why was he so possessive over a broken watch? Trying to understand the sudden change in Joel, you opened the drawer and took it out.
“I just wanted to get it fixed for you, as a gift”, you didn’t understand what was happening.
“You have not fixed it, have you?! Because if you have―”, he snatched it off your hand, inspecting it.
You frowned ― his attitude towards you was completely off. What the hell was going on?
“Don’t you dare touch my fucking things, is that clear?”, he snapped.
You looked at him blankly, speechless. Then your own temperament started to shimmer under the surface.
“Wow, wow, wow ― Calm the fuck down, Joel. It’s just a broken, useless watch―”, you stopped yourself because of his perplexed look.
“Shut up. It’s not just any watch. You don’t fucking understand”, he yapped.
“I would try and understand if you just fucking explained it to me?!”, you shouted at him while you got dressed. “What is your fucking problem, Joel? What’s up with that watch? I don’t read minds!”.
“Forget it”, he grumbled, strapping the watch to his wrist before putting his trousers on and grabbing a T-shirt, heading towards the door.
“That’s it? You just up and leave?”, you repressed the urge of throwing a pillow to his head.
“I’ve got stuff to do”, he muttered.
A few seconds later, you heard him opening the front door. Then he slammed it shut.
It was around lunchtime now and you had not seen Joel since this catastrophic morning. While you had the impression that Joel’s reaction was due to something he would not speak about, he had no fucking right to treat you that way. You were just trying to do something nice for him, that was all.
You walked through the main hallway of the Art Institute of Chicago. It was rammed with people running around ― some armed, some not. You didn’t think that humanity would prevail in big groups in such circumstances, but it did.
The Rioters had established some sort of order. People had tasks to do, everyone working together to build up a community. Chores were allocated according to people’s skills. Joel had been put on patrolling shifts, Tommy was helping with carpentry and other building jobs, and you were in the hunting group. As much as you hated pulling the trigger, you were a very good shot. All thanks to your good old Texan father.
You were on your way to check with the group if there were any plans of going out today when you got interrupted.
“Hey”, someone tapped you on the shoulder.
“What’s up, Joyce?”, you looked at the older woman when you turned around.
Joyce was around fifty five years of age, maybe more, and was the kindest soul you had ever met. She had welcomed you to Chicago like a mother a daughter. Joyce showed you around, explained how the Rioters worked and guided you in the right direction. Because as good as everything looked, there was still darkness lurking around.
She was also the best cook ever. Like, no jokes, she could transform a tasteless rabbit in the most flavourful stew your tastebuds had ever been in contact with.
“I just finished cooking, do you want some stew?”, she asked with a warm smile.
Your stomach growled at the mere idea.
“Fuck yeah”, you replied ― your duties could wait, surely.
“Watch your language, kiddo”, Joyce reprimanded you.
“Sorry, sorry”, all that time you spent with Joel was showing.
You followed her to the canteen and patiently waited for Joyce to pour some stew in a bowl. You then went with her to a table where more people were sat down. You didn’t know any of them, so Joyce introduced you. You were damn sure you weren’t going to remember one single name by the time you walked out the door.
“So, you’ve never heard the story of Eugene Williams?”, one of the men asked rhetorically to a younger fellow across the table, who shook his head in reply. “He was a black kid in 1919, when racial segregation was still in place here in Chicago. The summer of 1919 was so hot the kid wandered off to the white side of Chicago beach without realising. A man threw stones at him until the kid drowned and died. That was what ignited the Chicago Race Riot of 1919 ― and why we, the resistance, go by the Rioters”.
You listened to every word while you ate your meal. After hearing that explanation, many things made sense. Although they named themselves the Rioters, there were no riots in the streets ― actually, people seemed happy here, given the circumstances.
“That’s right, Walter, younger people need to learn about the past, so those mistakes are never repeated again”, said Joyce.
The conversation then moved on to present times, the people talking about the continuous fight against the so-called government.
Joel got the afternoon patrolling shift that day, which he thought was a killer, considering he did the night shift last night. But it was good in a sense ― it would keep his mind occupied. You had angered him so much this morning, it had set his mood for the rest of the day. The thought of you erasing that memory had maddened him so bad, he had to walk out before he said something he would later regret.
That watch was the only anchor chaining him to what little remained of his humanity. A gentle reminder of what could have been but wasn’t. Every day he wondered how Sarah would be doing in this new world. And most days, he was just somewhat grateful she wasn’t here to see what had become of civilisation. The unspeakable horrors she would have witnessed and suffered but didn’t ― it was very little consolation to a father, but it was better than nothing.
He absentmindedly touched the watch on his wrist, ensuring it was properly fastened.
Joel was stationed with other people in front of Bataan-Corregidor Memorial Bridge. In those long, never-ending hours, there was no activity on the other side of the bridge, but they had to remain vigilant nonetheless. By the time the next group showed up, it was already half eight in the evening.
Joel headed towards the headquarters to sign off and go home. He was already on edge, thinking about what he would say to you to appease you. Because he was damn sure you would be waiting for him, ready to pick up the fight where you both left it. As Joel walked past the canteen, he heard a familiar voice.
Tommy was on his feet, yelling at a man, his accusatory index pointing to the guy. Joel rolled the eyes to the back of his head ― he was sure his brother was so drunk he would probably not remember any of this the next day. Joel shook his head with disappointment ― some things would never change, not even when the world had gone to shit.
He planned to ignore the situation and get back home to you, when a fight started. Joel groaned in despair, debating what to do. But a man chose for him ― he saw how a bloke approached Tommy from behind, knife on hand, and he knew he had to do something. Joel quickly closed the distance in stride and grabbed the man from the neck of his shirt, pulling him backwards until the dude stumbled with his own feet.
Madness broke out, the whole canteen becoming a battling ground. People were fighting each other over absolutely nothing, throwing punches in the air.
“Tommy!”, he shouted angrily, while the younger Miller turned around and simply smiled.
That fucking pissed him off big time.
“Are you fucking out of your mind? How much have you been drinking?!”, Joel wanted to punch his brother so bad, he really had to control himself.
“Not enough”, he babbled.
As Joel approached his brother, ready to fight him if necessary, the man he had pushed away from Tommy tapped his shoulder. When Joel turned around, the dude punched him in the face and then stabbed him in the lower stomach.
Joel froze for a second, his back slightly curved, his brain coming to terms with what just had happened. He looked down while his hand gripped the handle of the knife. He knew not to remove it because it was the blade what prevented him from bleeding out. Then Joel glanced back up at the same guy and, without thinking, he removed the knife from his flesh and sticked it on the man’s shoulder with a growl.
Joel’s wound started to bleed like a pig in a slaughterhouse. Not that he noticed anyway, because hell literally broke loose.
It wasn’t late late, only ten in the evening, but none of the brothers was around when you returned home, which was weird. You could understand if Joel was avoiding you, but Tommy? You frowned as you called for them, shutting the main door behind you. Nothing, no reply at all.
Before you could walk to the living room to see if there was a note or something, someone knocked on the door.
You looked through the peephole. Joyce was standing outside, worry wrinkling her aged face. You opened the door.
“What’s the matter, Joyce?”
“It’s Joel, he’s in the infirmary”, she whispered while placing a soft hand on your forearm.
You just stared at her, bewildered.
“Huh? The where?”, you repeated, while her words started to sink in, your stomach contracting with fear.
“Come with me, kiddo”, Joyce took your hand, guiding you through the apartment building.
The next time you blinked, you were in an outbuilding outside the headquarters. Joyce palmed your hand with hers, in a calming gesture, while she took you to the far end of the shelter. The old lady planted you in front of Joel’s bed, and let go of you with a “take care”.
You stood there for a long minute, still trying to grasp what the hell had happened. He was asleep, his head slightly tilted away from you ― or so you hoped he was. Joel had no shirt on, a bloody bandage covering the right side of his abdomen. You got closer, your heart pounding in your throat.
“He’s fine, it’s just a scratch”, you looked up, befuddled.
Tommy was sitting in a plastic chair on the other side of the bed. He was crouching forwards, his elbow against his knee, head pressing against the palm of his hand. Tommy then smiled, which completely perplexed you.
You were about to reply, but suddenly Joel did instead.
“Fuck off, Tommy. Get your ass somewhere else”, he gritted his teeth.
You hadn’t noticed it yet, but you had been holding your breath, because suddenly you felt a stone being lifted off your chest. You glanced at the younger Miller, who had gotten up with a smile. When he walked past you to go outside, you smelled it. The stench of alcohol made you wrinkle your nose unconsciously.
Joel wrapped his fingers around your wrist to get your attention, so you turned around to look at him, so confused you couldn’t even form a sentence. Joel had already adjusted the pillow on his back so he could be somewhat sat up.
“It’s alright, no need to cry”, he said raising one of his hands to sweep away your tears.
You had not realised you were crying. Giving it a second thought, you probably had been since you left home. You pursed your lips and nodded, quietening your sobs.
“What…?”, you muttered, resting your cheek against his palm before placing a kiss on it.
“Tommy got into a fight in the canteen. He’s so drunk he probably won’t remember a thing tomorrow. A man tried to stab him, and I got in the way ― that’s all, sweetheart. No serious damage, just some stitches”, he tried to calm you.
You wished Tommy was still in the room, because you would have loved to slap the shit out of him for being so irresponsible. What the hell was he thinking? Joel was hurt because of him, and he had just left smiling as if it wasn’t so serious.
“Just leave him be, it’s worthless trying to speak to him in such a state”, something in Joel’s voice told you this wasn’t the first time he had been in this situation.
“Are you sure you’re fine? Joel, please, don’t lie to me―”, you mustered, trying to keep your tears in check, as you caressed his cheek.
He heavily sighed as he scooted over to one end of the tiny bed, leaving enough space for you to join him. You got on the gurney quickly, nestling against him, your arm across his chest in a half embrace. His body heat calmed your nerves a bit, although your hands were still shaking.
“I’m fine, I’m not lying. They won’t let me leave yet though, the nurse said I need to stay here for a couple of hours, until she’s certain the bleeding has stopped”, he explained, his fingertips tracing the shape of your right shoulder.
“I’m not going anywhere”, you said with a small voice, your left cheek against his chest.
Joel didn’t fight you on that, so you stayed by his side. His left hand was resting just below your face, his broken watch strapped around his wrist. You bowed your head a bit and kissed his knuckles.
“I’m sorry about this morning, I thought fixing your watch was a nice thing to do, considering it’s been broken since I met you”, you tried to explain yourself, but Joel hushed you by cupping your chin so your eyes would meet his.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I know you meant well. It’s just…”, you heard him gulp down, as if the next words were extremely painful to say out loud. “Sarah fixed this watch for me on my last birthday. It’s been stuck at 2.40 AM since… since we both got shot. One of the bullets broke it”, he recounted in a husked voice, his brown eyes focused on the timeless sphere.
Then it hit you. That was Sarah’s time of death. And, unknowingly, you almost ruined the last memento Joel possessed of his daughter. His most precious treasure. You felt sick to your stomach at the mere idea of being responsible for such a thing. Had you known, you would have never even considered doing what you had planned.
“Gosh, Joel, I’m sorry. I swear to you I didn’t know”, you breathed out desperately.
“I know, baby. I should have told you that instead of getting angry and for that I apologise, but I just couldn’t…”, he clenched his jaw, and you tried to soften his expression with the touch of your fingers.
“Don’t apologise, please”, you kissed his bearded jaw and remained in comfortable silence for the next two hours, until Joel was finally discharged.
The next day you both stayed home. Tommy had tried to apologise when he came back to his senses, but Joel was having none of it. The younger Miller eventually understood that his brother just needed space until he decided to forgive him and gave up in his efforts. You were alone with Joel all day, making sure he was okay and helping him clean the wound. Those stitches were going to leave a nasty scar on him, but it was better than the alternative. It was healing well, no signs of infection, for which you were so pleased ― probably more than him. You almost had to tie him to the bed so he would stop fidgeting around ― Joel was going to get the wound open again if he didn’t remain still for a bit.
You knew Joel was just trying to keep his brain busy because this day marked a year since Sarah was wrongly snatched from his life. That was why he was so taciturn and quiet today, and you let him be for the most part.
When he sat down on the couch in the afternoon, you just nestled against his body, in silence, his arm affectionately enveloping you.
Nighttime came around soon enough, and you both got into bed. Joel spooned you as soon as he laid down behind you, his right arm hugging you, his chest against your back. You soon fell asleep in his warm embrace, feeling protected and content.
Joel woke up a few hours later, one of his recurrent nightmares haunting him. He grumbled in displeasure and got out of bed to change the dressing over the wound. He did so efficiently and returned to bed, slipping under the bedsheets quietly.
Another hour went by, and he was still awake, his eyes on the ceiling.
He rolled onto his left side and saw you sleeping peacefully, in the exact same position you fell asleep. You had not moved one inch. Joel smiled softly as he got closer to you, sliding his arm around your waist and dragging you over to him, looking for your soothing warmth.
Unconsciously, you wiggled your hips to bury your butt in his bulge, and Joel contained a pitiful moan. Your perfectly round ass was innocently embedded in his groin. Now he was sure as hell he was not going to be able to fall back asleep. Irremediably, he pressed his manhood against your buttocks again, looking for that friction.
Joel felt his cock tense up, an erection taking hold. He freed his manhood, slowly pumping himself ― his leaky tip brushing your asscheek until a wet patch adorned your panties. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t resist. You were all curled up, drooling on the pillow, faintly snoring, your knees slightly bent. He cut the distance between you and shoved his dick in your thigh gap, his shaft rubbing against your pussy covered by your underwear.
Sweat gathered on his brow as he rocked his pelvis back and forth, your thighs sweetly compressing his cock ― the tip feeling cold when it overhung on the other side. Joel kissed your shoulder, his hand gently placed on your hip to steady himself.
“C’mon, baby, wake up”, he husked near your ear, gently nibbling your earlobe.
You hummed, half awake. You felt your body being rocked, your eyes fluttering open and looking downwards. Through half-lidded eyes, you saw Joel’s glans sticking out through your thigh nook, then disappearing from sight to reappear again. You smiled pleasantly, shutting your eyes, as you felt your needy cunt melt for him. You pursed your lips with delight.
“Can I have my birthday present again, sweetheart?”, he whispered in a constrained tone.
You nodded, scatterbrained.
You were drenching your underwear so bad, there was a visible damp, darken spot right in the middle. Joel pulled back from in between your legs and pushed the bridge of your panties to one side. He lodged his cock in between your puffy lips, sliding it through your entire slit a couple of times to douse himself with your fluids.
“You’re soaking wet, baby”, he muttered as you let out a soft moan when Joel pressed his tip against your dripping hole, your flesh parting as the Red Sea.
Then Joel slowly pushed his hard cock in inch by inch down to his balls. His right arm hugged you, poising you in place and sneaking his hand under your pyjama top to hold one of your full breasts. He stilled for a second, feeling your cunt sheathing him like a warm glove. He thrusted once, twice, thrice. You lost count after that, Joel plunging into you from behind, gaining erratic speed. You grasped the bedsheet in your fist, your spit pooling on the pillowcase.
You placed a hand on your mound and a few seconds later, you slipped it under your panties. With the palm against your clit to cause some grinding, you could feel Joel coming in and out of you in between your index and middle fingers. Your gushing cunt started palpitating around his slick cock, your inner walls squeezing him hard as you came, mewling like a kitten in heat.
Joel quickly followed you, his cum filling you up, breathing roughly behind you. You tilted your head towards your right to look at him over your shoulder. He kissed you, first gently, then more demanding, while his dick was still throbbing with the last wave of his release. Joel pinched your nipple before freeing your mouth.
“There you go, sweetheart, so you don’t forget who you and your tight pussy belong to”, he groaned as he pulled out of you.
“Thank you, sir”, you said gratefully.
Joel put your underwear back in place and pressed the palm of his hand against your wet panties, his cum trickling out with yours and swamping the piece of clothing even more, saturating it, almost as if you had pissed yourself.
“Go back to sleep, darlin’”, he kissed the nape of your neck, his hand still lodged in your thigh gap, hard pressed against your satisfied, clothed pussy. You loved how possessive he was of you, literally claiming your cunt for himself at every chance he got.
With a pleased sigh, you tucked your hands under your head and fell back asleep within seconds.
The earth was round again.
129 notes · View notes
knoxic · 1 year ago
Text
A kiss may ruin a human life.
Oscar Wilde
-Masterlist- part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
wc: 2,1k
warnings: miscommunications (but really there's almost no communication at all), self deprecating thoughts, mentions of death, ptsd, insomnia, anxiety, grief(?), angst,
i think that's it but please let me know if there's anything else!
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a/n: this work implies that Hotch heard Haley's last breath. timeline is around season 6-7 but it doesn't really matter. this is heavily based on my own experience from death and hearing someone's last breath. Hotch is a little out of character but it'll get better i promise, this was supposed to be something just for myself but i decided to post it, that being said, im already writing part 2!
no use of y/n!
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He was distant. 
He kept avoiding you, every day, even when you got back to the hotel and had no other choice but to be around each other, he showered and said some casual phrases that could damn well be said to a stranger.
You tried to understand, he was stressed and haven't slept well in days but, fuck, wasn't it happening to everyone else? And they weren't avoiding you...
Asking if he wanted something to eat or if he wanted that shitty coffee just got you a cold and empty answer. "No, thanks.", "I've had enough for today, thank you.", "I'll just finish some files," and etc. Sure he was polite, you don't think Hotch could be rude even if he wanted to, at least not with someone he was close to, but he was always so gentle and warm, had you done something to make him mad?
It started off just as every other day started, a new case in a city you've never been to before. Sharing a room with your boss meant a different routine than if you shared with anyone else in the team, late nights and early mornings, the sound of pen scratching paper being the first thing you heard when waking up and the last when you were drifting off, you wondered if he even slept at all.
The answer was no, he barely ever slept during a case, especially if he could hear you breathing all night. 
He was scared, scared it would happen again. It was unrealistic and he knew, it happened too many times already, but twice like that was terrifying.
Terrifying to the point he was paralyzed, every night you whispered that sweet "Good night, Hotch." and it flipped the switch, he would now spend the night awake to make sure that you would tell him "Good morning, Hotch" in a gentle yet strong voice. That whisper sounded enough like the gasp he heard that one time, and it always immediately set off every trigger he had of that unfortunate day.
Every night he spent with you in the same room he tried to distract himself enough not to hear your steady breaths, finishing random files that weren't so important and sometimes even going as far as writing them twice. When he got tired enough to pass out, he would lie down and hope that the second his head hit the uncomfortable pillow he would be asleep. 
It never happened.
He kept listening. You sometimes tossed and turned in your sleep, and he knew it meant you were probably having nightmares but it always soothed his mind. If you were moving it meant you were still alive, and the rustling of the sheets downed out the agonizing sound of your breath.
Sometimes he slept, but even when he did, he kept listening, gunshots echoed inside his head, his aching hands clad with blood holding her body, the sound... the horrific, terrifying, agonizing sound of her last breath.
He thought it had stopped, he has triggers of course but, it wasn't always that they were set off like this, usually it happened sometimes when Jack slept on his chest and that meant carrying him to bed, but he normally allowed himself a bit of self care and went to his own room, close enough from his child to hear if he called but far enough to not hear his steady breaths. Being stuck in a hotel room did not allow him that. He tried soundproof headphones after the second night they spent together a couple years ago, he quickly figured it was somehow more agonizing than being able to hear.
Now three days into the case, he was desperate for a night alone, to drown in complete silence and darkness. Thankfully, yet not what he wanted, you had gone to Emily's room to discuss something, he didn't know what it was and apparently you didn't care enough to tell him, or you just didn't want him to know.
He held himself from sprinting to bed right after you left the room, surely it wouldn't look so good if you were to come back because you forgot something or for any other reason, he let a couple minutes pass by, anxiously so, before he got up to take the fastest shower he could manage and jumped into bed, he almost decided against clothes before reminding himself that sooner or later you would come back. It took more time than he'd like but finally he was drifting off, quicker than expected.
"Emily..." you whimpered.
"Come on... it's Hotch," she rested a hand on your shoulder, "he's probably just going through something. I heard him tell Rossi last week that Jack was having some troubles in school, it might be that, right?"
"Yeah, but I feel like..." Emily was the only one who knew about your confusing feelings for Hotch and still you hesitated, "I feel like it's something else... he's been avoiding me and rarely looks me in the eye when we talk."
Emily went silent for a few seconds, looking away and seemed to be deciding carefully what to say.
"Listen, you know I love you and support anything you do, but..." oh God "You should talk to him, not me."
"I came to you exactly because I don't want to talk to him, even if I tried I don't think he would answer." You gave her the most pleading puppy eyes you could manage. 
"There's only one way to find out, honey."
After a few more minutes of licking your wounds you gathered yourself enough to face Aaron, walking a little too fast to your shared room just to make sure you wouldn't have time to back down and run back to Emily. Thinking too many things and nothing at all just to distract yourself you ended up opening the door loudly, scaring yourself when the lights were off and you could barely make out the person under the blankets.
Did you really just open a random door? Fuck! 
In your panic state your eyes caught a glimpse of Aaron's bag close to his bed, some files slipped out from it when he drastically dropped it earlier. Without realizing, you slipped into the room and closed the door quieter than you had opened it, unsure if Aaron was indeed asleep or if he was pretending just so he wouldn't have to talk to you, a shower seemed to be the best thing to do.
It was weird, a part of you knew he was tired, and going to sleep without someone else in the room is sometimes a lot easier, but, the bigger part of you kept thinking that he was doing this just to avoid you, to not have to force out a "Good night." when both of you knew it wasn't good for him, and it hurt.
Shower was indeed a good thing, the warm water doing wonders to your aching muscles and the sound of the water running was a good background for your mind to organize your thoughts. That same sound was what Aaron woke up to.
Looking around searching for what had woken him, he saw the light coming from the bathroom, the door didn't close all the way sometimes, you had to close it hard and he supposed you didn't want to make noise. He searched for his phone to check the time, see how long it took you to come back, but in his hustle earlier he had forgotten to pick up his phone, wherever it was he didn't feel like getting up to search for it.
In his sleepy state he had turned to watch the door, not really paying attention to what he was looking out for until he got a glimpse of you wrapping a towel around your body, he hadn't even that noticed the sound of the water had stopped, snapping himself out of whatever this was he turned away from the door, right before he saw the light getting brighter and your quiet barefoot steps getting closer, a zipper being opened, rustle of fabric and the zipper being closed, steps again but this time going away and the room getting darker again.
It didn't take long for you to come back, he could smell the soap you always used, it only took him a couple days sharing a room and a bathroom with you to know that every soap and perfume you used smelled mostly the same.
It almost physically pained him to not be able to smell it directly from your skin, he had hugged you and stood close enough to smell your perfume he knew it wasn't the same as your fresh out of the shower scent. It already smelled so comforting from this far, he was certain he'd go insane if he ever got the chance to hug you like this, out of any police department or hospital smell, just you. 
He was so lost in thought he hadn't realized you had already settled in bed.
"Good night, Hotch..." he heard you whisper, so quietly he almost missed it, it made his heart stutter and beat faster.
Did you know he was awake? Did you see him looking at you through the open door? He didn't see anything but the skin of your arms! Should he answer? No. Stop it, idiot.
You turned again, again and again. The mattress was hard, the blanket kept scratching your bare legs, the pillow made you feel like a stone would be comfier, not to mention the discomfort of having your mind tell you how uncomfortable Aaron must be that he even went to bed earlier just so he wouldn't have to see you. You must be so pathetic to even have wished him a good night when he clearly didn't want you here–
"Are you okay?" There it was, his husky voice, he was sleeping and you disturbed him. 
"Uh–yeah, sorry to wake you up." Wow, that came out so weak, he definitely thinks you're pathetic.
The sound of his body turning and his voice right beside your ear made you shiver. 
"You keep tossing and turning, your breath is faster than normal," he sighed. "So I'll ask again, are you okay?" It's now or never.
"Have you–you've been avoiding me." You could hear Emily's voice saying it wasn't so hard was it?
"No I haven't." That came out way too fast to be true, Hotchner.
"Yes you have, and you can barely even look at me when we're alone, you give me empty words and talk better to a rookie you'll never see again," you were rambling but now there was no way you would stop. "If I did something to upset you, please tell me. Because, I can profile you but I cannot read your mind yet, and I can't apologize if I don't know what I did wrong." 
"I-" God, you were so self deprecating. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, you did nothing wrong." He spoke in a weirdly soft voice.
"That–that doesn't make me feel better..."
"I'm sorry... it's... not something you did..." Well, if you were talking then he should too, "It's you."
A couple seconds passed, they felt like minutes.
Your heart dropped, "What?" It couldn't be... you knew you weren't perfect but, to know your mind was right yet again felt... nauseous.
"Wait! wait," he was sitting up now, back to the headboard, making a calm down gesture with his hands, he did that once with a child, to make them stop their rambling, you really were pathetic.
"Not you, I meant... Fuck, it's complicated."
Now that you were already broken, you might as well just finish this, end what made you anxious for once, even if it meant losing your hopes of being with him.
Your breath was harder and lost its rhythm. You could be going into a panic attack right now but Aaron was relieved, after hearing the way your voice got so... pained, he thought he ended this, that you would get up and leave him. The memories came back in a rush that made him dizzy, but you were still here, and breathing hard, unlike the breath Haley–
"Then tell me, unless you have something else to do at 2am. I think we have enough time, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as complicated as what we had going on." Your voice was steady, no longer panicked and embarrassed like someone who just got rejected by their crush, that was the voice of a person who took down serial killers for a living, who could damn well talk face to face with him if they were to fight. Now he felt small, he could tower over you if you two were standing up but he knew you were the bigger person.
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callsign-dexter · 1 year ago
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Daddy to the Rescue
Request: hi
i was wondering if you could please write about Kelly Severide (chicago fire) having a daughter and maybe while he was at the station she is left with a babysitter but then he has to respond to a call at his house. maybe the reader is stuck so she and kelly are freaking out but he knows he has to stay calm for his daughter and once everyone is safe it is just a bunch of fluff.
totally your choice and maybe the reader is like 5 - 6 ish
Pairings: Kelly Severide x Daughter!Reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, hospitals, buried alive, inaccurate medical talk
Masterlist
A/N: I know you said fluff but if you know me and my fics you know I have to throw in some angst in there. Hope you don't mind.
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When you came into Kelly’s life 6 years ago, he was shocked but it was to be expected especially with all the sleeping around he did. You had shown up on his doorstep in your car seat with a note pinned to the diaper bag. He didn't know what to do but when you opened your blue eyes, the ones you got from him, he knew that you were gonna stay and that was it. After first he was apprehensive about telling his team but he needed all the help he could get and the fears he thought he was gonna have of them bashing him and putting him down flew out the window. Afterall Firehouse 51 was a family and family looked out for one another. With him telling them about you means you just got a lot of really cool aunts and uncles and you are going to be really protected.
He was really pissed at your mother for just abandoning you but now you were with him safe and sound. You were the result of a drunken one-night stand, he didn’t even know you existed or that she was pregnant until you just showed up on his doorstep. He despised her and would have some words for her if he ever saw her and he hoped for her sake that he never saw her. 
You loved your dad dearly. When you had met him just when you were a few days old you grew close to him, then again, he was the only parent you had. You depended on him for everything and looked up to him for everything and you felt like you could come to him when something went wrong when you were growing up. You had changed his lifestyle for the good he had stopped drinking until he was blacked out and he stopped bringing random women home. He adored you and you adored him. Nothing could break that bond between you both. Everyone was shocked when they noticed how much his mood had brightened and he wasn’t such a hard ass. Kelly loved showing you off and when you found out his job, he just became your favorite person all over again. He was your hero. 
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
It was a Thursday morning and his alarm started to go off at 7:30 AM signaling him to get up and start getting ready for the day and his shift. Normally he would be getting you up to but since your school had been called off due to the heating and sickness going around you would be staying home. He didn’t have to go into work until 10 AM so he would have a little bit of time with you. 
Kelly took a shower and then got dressed in his uniform and brushed his teeth, next he moved out of his room and down the hall to check in on you. He slowly opened the door and smiled seeing that you were still sound asleep and snoring just slightly. He smiled and shook his head. He went into the kitchen and started some breakfast and coffee and then went and switched over the laundry and started getting ready for his 24 hr shift. He needed to call Kimber Halstead to tell her that he would need her. When he found you on his doorstep, he immediately started to look for a babysitter and when Jay and Will, his good friends, heard about this and met you they immediately got him in touch with their younger sister, who he was also good friends with. You and Kimber hit off and the rest was history and she became your babysitter and she only babysat you. She was going to school so it was the perfect opportunity for some extra cash and you were pretty easy to keep. He pulled out his phone as he pulled down a coffee cup and grabbed the pot and poured some coffee in it. He went to her contact and clicked on it and then the call icon, it rang twice before she answered.
“Kelly! What do I owe the pleasure of this call?” Kimber asked 
“Hello, Kimber. I need you to watch Y/N/N. Her school is closed due to some sickness and the heat is out.” He said and took a sip of his coffee.
“I would love to.” She said “Do you want me to come over now?” She asked 
“Please. I’m gonna have breakfast ready so you can eat here.” He said and he could hear her smile.
“That sounds good. I’ll be over in 5.” She said
“Great. I’ll see you soon.” Kelly said 
“See ya, Kelly.” She said and they hung up the phone. 
He put his phone on the counter and then his coffee cup and headed to your room. He opened the door and saw that you had turned over in your sleep and he walked over and knelt down by your bed. He watched you for a minute and then he was stroking your head. You groaned and but your nose scrunched up, a sign you were waking up. “Y/N/N. Sweetheart. It’s time to get up. Kimber will be here soon.” He said and you groaned but blinked your eyes open and cracked them.
“Daddy?” You asked and he smiled.
“Good morning, Sweetheart.” He said and you smiled and then wrapped your arms around him and he picked you up. He started to walk to the kitchen.
“What about school?” You asked, still confused and you laid your head on his shoulder.
“School is closed due to a heating issue and sickness going around.” He said and you nodded and then he sat you down on a chair. “Kimber will be here soon and breakfast is almost ready.” He said and you nodded. Normally he would be having you getting ready for school but since there wasn’t any, he would let it pass and Kimber would be getting you ready for the day. He had just got done mixing the pancake batter when there was a knock at the door and he knew it was Kimber. “You wanna get that?” He asked you and you smiled, you rarely got to open the door but he knew who it was because it was about that time when she said she was going to be there and the Ring notification he got on his phone. You quickly jumped up and ran to the door “Be careful!” He yelled out and listened to you open the door and let out a screech.
“KIMBER!” You yelled out and he heard a laugh from her.
“Hey, Sweetie.” She said “Your daddy know you answered the door?” She asked and he could just see you nod.
“Yes, he let me!” You said excitedly and she chuckled.
“Well, as long as he said it was ok.” She said and she was walking into the kitchen holding you.
“Hi, Kelly.” She said with a smile and he looked up.
“Hi. Breakfast is almost ready.” He said as he flipped the bacon and the pancake. 
“Y/N/N, you wanna help me get cups and drinks ready?” She said and you nodded wildly and they both laughed. You love helping out when you can. She walked over and got the glasses and handed them to you and they watched you carefully take them over to the table. Kimber got the milk and orange juice out as Kelly took the last of the pancakes and the bacon off and walked them over to the table. Everyone sat down and served themselves. 
“What do you girls have planned today?” Kelly asked and Kimber answered since your mouth was full.
“If it is warm enough, we’ll go play in the backyard and then maybe go out for lunch. Then just play it by ear.” She said and you nodded excitedly. 
“That sounds fun.” He said 
“It is, Daddy!” You said and he smiled. Breakfast was finished quickly and dishes were put in the dishwasher and Kelly had disappeared to grab his duffle and walked out and just stood in the doorway watching you and Kimber have the time of your life in the living room. You were the first one to notice him “Daddy!” You yelled out and quickly ran up to him and jumped into his arms and hugged you tightly. Kimber walked over and then took you from his arms.
“It’s time for daddy to leave. You be good for Kimber and do what she says.” He said and you nodded.
“I promise, Daddy.” You said and he smiled and leaned over to kiss your head and then pulled away and looked at Kimber.
“Don’t hesitate to call if something happens or you need me. If you can’t get ahold of me, you can call Jay and he’ll know how to get ahold of me.” Kelly said and she nodded.
“Don’t worry. I’ll call you if something happens and I also have Will if something medical comes up but I will let you know.” She said and he smiled and nodded. 
“I know you will. I trust you.” He said and then looked back at you. “Daddy loves you.” He said to you and kissed your head again.
“I love you too, Daddy.” You said and he smiled and then grabbed his keys by the front door and was out the door and heading into work.
“Alright, Little One. What do you want to do first?” She asked, looking at you. 
“Blanket fort!” You said excitedly and she laughed.
“You got it!” She said back. She sat you down and the both of you set out to find the materials you needed.
20 minutes later and the fort was ready to be used. Your imagination ran wild and Kimber was all for it. Movies were watched and crafts were made in that fort. During the 5th movie you had fallen asleep snuggled up against Kimber and she pulled out her phone and read through some college stuff she needed to read and every now and then checked in on you. She figured she would let you sleep for an hour and then have you get up and get your teeth brushed and dressed then you would go out for lunch and a walk in the park maybe stop in and see your dad. Then you both would come home and play some in the backyard.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Kelly was exhausted since he had gotten to work. It was nonstop calls; he hadn't even had a break to sit down and check on you and Kimber. Everyone had just gotten back and quickly got the trucks and ambulance done and then they were going to try and have a moment of peace. While everyone was preoccupied, he stepped away and pulled out his phone. He had a few new messages from Kimber and they were pictures of you smiling and goofing around, he smiled and saved them on his phone. One particular one, you were playing with bubbles and she captured the image through the bubble and you were smiling and just being yourself, he set it as his background on his phone when he unlocked it.
He was about to call and ask how you two were doing when he heard a familiar voice “Sylvie!” You yelled out and he smiled.
“Hey, Y/N. Looking for your dad?” She asked 
“Uh huh.” You said and he walked out into the garage and when you spotted him you ran straight to him and jumped into his arms. “Daddy!” You shouted and he laughed and hugged you gently but tightly back. 
“Hey, Sweetheart. I'm surprised to see you.” He said and you just hugged him tighter and everyone smiled glad to see him happy but continued on with working so you could have some time with him.
“She really wanted to see her daddy and I told her we could. It was on the way home from lunch and the park.” Kimber said he smiled and nodded and then sat you down.
“Did you have fun?” He asked
“Yes! We saw a bunch of dogs at the park and most of them were friendly and I got to pet them.” You said with so much brightness in your eyes. He smiled loving that look.
“That sounds like fun. Did you ask permission first?” He asked and you nodded.
“Of course, Daddy.” You said and he smiled. You and Kimber stayed there for a few minutes until it was time to go home and start getting your school work done. “Bye, Daddy. I love you.” You said and he smiled. He hugged and kissed the side of your head.
“I love you too. Be safe.” He said and you nodded and then he and Kimber said their goodbyes and he watched you walk out of the station almost skipping and he could tell you were laughing and smiling and that made him smile. 
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
You made it back home safely and Kimber let you dad know. She put her phone away and then turned to you “Ok, I want you to do your homework and then we can go outside and play.” She said in a serious tone and you nodded.
“Ok.” You said and then you went and got your backpack and started your work. While you were working, she was working on some of her college work, every now and then you would ask her for help and she helped you. You got what you needed done quickly and then you both were heading outside. Kimber had brought her school work outside so she could work and watch you at the same time. 
Every now and then you would come over and ask her to play and she did and then when you were done, she went back to work. Sometimes she would look up and smile at you having fun. “Y/N, come inside with me to get something to drink.” She said and you looked up from your position in the sand box and got up and headed inside with her. “Do you want a snack?” She asked and you nodded your head.
“Do we have any grapes and apples?” You asked and she smiled and nodded.
“Why yes, we do! I want you to drink something you’ve been running around a lot, don't want you dehydrated.” She said and you nodded and drank some water and ate something and then she brought the rest out with you both. You resumed your position back into the sandbox not seeing that it had sunken in. You were too busy playing to notice that you were starting to sink into the ground. You continued on playing and then you felt a huge drop and that freaked you out.
“Kimber.” You said scared and she looked up and her eyes bugged out.
“Hold on, Sweetie. I’m coming.” She said and hurried over as the chair tipped backwards. 
“I’m scared. I want daddy.” You said beginning to panic.
“It’s ok Y/N/N. We’re going to get you out.” She said and she motioned you to grab her hands and you did but when she began to pull you yelped out in pain and she stopped and you slipped in further and that made you panic and panicking only made you sink deeper. “Don’t panic. It’ll only make it worse. I’m gonna call 911. Ok?” She asked and you nodded your head.
“911 what’s your emergency?” The 911 operator asked.
“Hi, my name is Kimber Halstead and I’m babysitting Y/N Severide at 251 Spiral Lane and she is stuck in a sandbox.” Kimber said
“How old is Y/N?” They asked
“She’s 6. I tried to pull her out but she just sank further down. She then began panicking and sank further.” She said 
“It sounds like she is in a sinkhole. Keep her calm and don’t make her panic, it’ll just make her sink further.” They said
“Kimber, I can’t breathe.” You said 
“Did she just say she can’t breathe?” They asked
“Yes.” Kimber said
“Ok, keep her calm and I have dispatched the nearest first responders.” They said
“Thank you.” Kimber said and turned to look at you.
“Did you hear that? Daddy is coming to the rescue.” Kimber said, trying to keep you calm.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Kelly, Otis, Stella, Sylvie, Gabby, and Herrmann had all sat down to relax and watch some TV and grab something to eat when the bell went off and they groaned but then Kelly turned rigid.
“Engine 51, Truck 81, Rescue Squad 3, Ambulance 61.  6 year old female stuck in a sinkhole, having trouble breathing. Location 251 Spiral Lane.” 
Everyone looked over at Kelly and they instantly knew who it was and they were quick to grab their gear and get into their vehicles and rush over there. Kelly was silent as he got in “Kelly.” Joe began but Kelly wasn’t hearing him; he was worried about his child.
“She’s going to be ok. We’re 2 minutes out.” Capp said but that didn’t make him feel any better. 
True to Capp’s word they arrived at Kelly’s house and he was the first one out. Everyone quickly got their stuff and they followed him through the back gate knowing this path all too well. He left the gate wide open and when he saw you, he wanted to grab you and pull you out and hold you but he needed to stay calm for you. He was quick to come over and when you saw him you cried out to him. “Daddy!” You yelled out and you struggled to reach him but you sank further.
“No, Baby. It’s ok. I’m here.” He said and knelt down and took in his surroundings. He looked at Kimber “What happened?” He asked.
“She was perfectly fine playing in it earlier and then I had her come in and eat and drink something. Then we came back out and she resumed her playing and then she said my name and I looked up from doing some school work and she was sinking.” She said and he nodded, he wasn't mad.
“Daddy, I can’t breathe.” You said and he turned his attention back to you and then to Gabby who was bringing over oxygen. 
“Gabby is going to be something over your nose and mouth to help.” He said and you nodded and looked at Gabby and she smiled.
“Hi, Y/N/N.” She said 
“Hi.” You wheezed out. 
“I’m just gonna put this over your nose and mouth.” She said and you nodded and she did so and air rushed into you.
“Ok, Severide hold her up and watch her. Capp and Cruz start digging. Gabby and Sylvie monitor her vitals. Everyone else start helping out.” Boden said and everyone nodded and got to work. As they were working something happened and you started to slip in further.
“Daddy?” You wheezed out and he soothed you.
“It’s ok, Sweetheart. You’ll be out soon.” He said and you nodded but you started to become light headed.
“I don’t feel good.” You said and then about that time your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you passed out. 
“Woah. Ok. Can we go faster?” Sylvie asked and everyone started working faster. 16 minutes later they got you out and onto the stretcher and quickly loaded into the Ambulance as Kelly and Kimber followed. 
“Kelly, I’m so sorry.” Kimber said and he shook his head.
“No need to apologize. Accidents happen.” He said and she nodded, still feeling guilty. 
“I’m going to meet you up there.” She said and he nodded and then got into the back of the ambulance and nobody argued because you were his kid. They were quick to get going to Med. Kelly heard Sylvie and Gabby talking but he tuned them out and wasn’t listening to him too concerned about you. 
They made it to Med in no time and they were quick to get you out and into the ER. Will was the one that was going to be taking care of you. “How long has she been out?” He asked.
“Around 20 minutes now.” Kelly answered and he nodded and helped transfer you to a bed. Will started trying to arouse you but nothing was working. He took a listen to you and heard some crackling in your lungs and grew concerned.
“I want to admit it. Get her some x-rays and get a line started on her.” Will said and Kelly nodded and that is what they did. With you being unconscious and that concerned everyone. X-rays were taken and it turned out that you had broken some ribs from being stuck in the sand and that caused enough pressure to crack some ribs. When they moved you into the room Will looked over at Kelly “I want to monitor until she wakes up and if she does let me know.” He said an IV line had already been started. Will left the room and that just left Kelly alone with you. He sat there looking at you and then he looked down at his phone and saw his lock screen, it was you and him, he was holding you and you had been looking back over his shoulder smiling at the camera when you were 4 and Stella had taken the picture, she smiled at it. He texted everyone an update and they had come in and saw him but they needed back to work. Kimber came and stayed the longest but Kelly sent her home and promised her an update and because she was so shaken up that she needed rest. Will was in and out checking on you but nothing had changed. 
It was beginning into the night and he had drifted off to sleep still in uniform. He may have been asleep for about 20 minutes until he heard rustling around and he slowly woke to find you awake and groaning in pain. “Daddy?” You asked groggily and he was quick to get up.
“Sweetheart.” He said and leaned over you “I’m gonna get Will. Ok?” He asked and you nodded and he did just that and Will had come in. 
“Hey there, Mini Kelly.” He said and that made everyone smile. Usually, Will was the only one to call you that. “How are you feeling?” He asked.
“Hurts to breathe.” You said and he nodded.
“That’s understandable. You broke some ribs.” He said and you nodded and then turned to address you and your father “I want to keep her overnight just for observation since she was unconscious.” He said and Kelly nodded. You tuned them out since they were using words you didn’t understand and then Will was smiling at you “I’ll see you later on.” He said and you smiled at him.
“Bye, Uncle Will.” You said and he chuckled and left. “Daddy?” You asked and he looked at you.
“Hmmm?” He asked
“Do we have to get rid of the sandbox?” You asked and he smiled sadly.
“Yea we do, Sweetheart.” He said and you nodded.
“Ok. Love you.” You said and he smiled and then you yawned.
“I love you too. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said as he leaned over and kissed your forehead and you fell back to sleep. He stayed up for the rest of the night and updated everyone. He vowed to himself that the next day he had off he was going to take out that sandbox and fill that hole. He was going to protect you no matter what. Afterall you were his daughter, his life, and his pride of joy. 
You were just glad that your daddy came to your rescue.
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23fallencomets · 8 months ago
Text
Masterlist
Welcome to my masterlist!! Here all my works will be listed and updated as soon as possible.
Model!AU
Part 0 - Beginning of the AU-the basic format being laid out
Part 1: Creatures in Heaven
Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
AU ideas
Band!AU
FICS
(have to cut it here bc fic list is too long sorry~)
Featherstone
-1.6k words
"Two years after a disastrous 2025 season, Logan had stepped away from racing. Now, in 2027, a certain team is desperate and in the face of his dreams, Logan is a weak man."
I Just Wanted You To Know (That This Is Me Trying)
-2.6k words
“In a shocking twist of events, Logan Sargeant confirms his termination with Williams at the end of the 2024 season. Rumors have been circulating about the American’s position with wide speculation that Carlos Sainz is to take over his seat for the 2025 season after being offered a multi-year contract. Others say that Logan has been picked up as a reserve driver for the American team, Haas.
Alternatively,
Logan says fuck you and proves everyone wrong.”
Lover of Mine
-1.0k words
"It’s ridiculous really how deep and inherent his love for Logan runs. How at every step of his life, he wants Logan there, by his side, living in his apartment, taking up the space next to him in his bed, to come home together and just exist. How he wants Logan’s clothes in his closet, his sweaters thrown over the back of his horribly expensive couch, his shoes next to Arthur’s.
Alternatively, how Logan and Arthur come together."
Love You by Myself
-5.4k words
“He’s unfairly beautiful, long limbs stretched out on the white bedding like he belongs there. Ever-changing eyes—blue in the sun, grey on overcast days and green when the sun hits him just right, during sunrises and sunsets—half-lidded, hazy and sleepy. Skin tanned by the Floridian sun he lives under, soft hands, warm and heavy.
Logan slowly props himself up on his elbows, “Are you going to kiss me or will I have to wait another six months.”
alternatively,
All-American model Logan Sargeant and F1 Driver, Oscar ‘The Promised One’ Piastri fall in love.”
I Love You, I’m Sorry
-8.9k words, 5/5 chapters
Logan stares at him, blue eyes glassy with tears. His hands are shaking from where they’re pressed into his side. He was so confused, the hurt still coming as Oscar breaks up their eight-year long relationship at one in the morning. The engagement ring digs into his skin, the smooth metal of it feeling so impossibly heavy that it feels like his whole hand weighs down with it.
Alternatively,
The end and beginning of them
Cradle the Flame (and burn the world down)
-3.5k words
He got hungry, he wanted more and more. He knew he wasn’t going to get it in Indy, or WEC, or in any other racing series. He wanted to win, his hunger, his desire was to win in Formula One, to return to where it started and ended. He had something to prove, to show what he was made of.
Alternatively, Logan and Mick return to Formula One
Stuck Like Folk Flowers
-4.4k words, 1/3 chapters
Yuki is in panicked hysteric, laughing while apologizing as Oscar stared at him, pretty brown eyes wide in surprise. Logan finds himself transfixed, eyes trailing over the smattering of freckles and moles, the gentle pink of his lips and the growing blush on the apples of his cheeks.
Shit, is all Logan can think, shit, fuck, motherfucker.
Alternatively, Logan, Oscar and the consequences of their actions.
Kneeled at The Alter of You 🔒
-1.5k words, sargebon
They never last long when they get like this, desperate and needy, Alex’s name a prayer with the way it slips from Logan; mindless and reverent. Alex presses his lips to whatever inch of skin that he can reach, the side of Logan’s knee over his shoulder, his collarbone, his neck, the one spot that makes Logan whine.
alternatively, Logan and Alex.
Needs and Wants (want you, need you, what's the difference?)🔒
-2.9k words, sargebon
Alex isn’t possessive, not really. He enjoys having his partners’ attention, but knows he can’t have them all the time. Yet, here he is, sitting across the living room, watching Kyle fucking Kirkwood drape himself over Logan; the Floridans seem to melt into each, unfiltered happiness creasing Logan’s eyes as his friend rants about something.
Alex’s foot gets knocked against something, causing him to blink rapidly. He meets Oscar’s unimpressed gaze, hand limply holding a glass of something. It makes him remember that they’re not alone, in this odd bubble he had made for him, Logan and Kyle. Fred is sitting next to Oscar, shoulders pressed against the Australian, an amused look on his face.
Alex vaguely feels like he got caught doing something he shouldn’t have.
Alternatively, Alex and his wants and needs regarding Logan
Goodbye Chicago 🔒
-3.5k words, sargebon
Alex crowds him, realizes in half a beat that he hasn’t kissed Logan, Logan who makes dinner for them and lunch for Alex to take to work, who buys Horsey toys and stays near Alex just because. Logan, who left America because of his shitty home life and made a new home in Alex’s cold and isolated apartment, leaving behind fragments of his own warmth; his sweaters, his knickknacks, his growing movie collection because Alex still owns a dvd player.
Logan had made a place in Alex’s heart before Alex can react, or put up a fight. He had planted his roots next to Alex’s withering ones, slowly and surely coaxing him back to life
R U Mine?
-2.0k words, sargebon
Alex pulls back the blanket, his grip tightening on it when he sees that Logan is wearing one of his sweaters. It’s a big, soft thing that Alex has owned for years and Logan is wearing it. He shoves away the soft gooey feeling that slips through his veins as he crouches down, gently caressing Logan’s cheek.
Dark blue eyes blink blearily at him, lips now turned down into a frown. Logan presses into Alex’s hands, eyes shutting as he nuzzles into Alex. The Thai-Brit fights the endeared smile, pulling his hands away much to the protest of Logan.
Alternatively, Sargebon being roomates
White Ferrari
-8.5k words
Are you nervous?” It takes Logan a second to realize Charles is speaking to him, the Italian rolling off of his tongue as if he was born speaking it.
Logan shrugs, drags the confidence he had as a kid and begs it to stay; the Italian rolls off easier, smoother, “The car is good, feels better than at the beginning.”
Charles nods, angles his body towards Logan’s. Logan stares back because while he’s never been the most confrontational person, looking away means giving up, rolling over soft belly exposed and for the taking. He’s done enough rolling over.
“We might be able to turn this seasons over.” Charles muses as he looks away, shuffling over until their elbows brush. Logan nods, lets himself breathe before they’re ushered into the car.
Alternatively,
Sometimes you just need a good team behind you.
oh baby, making me crazy
-2.4k words, sargebon
so again, it’s not like he grew up starved for it.
until logan.
logan who hovers, hands awkwardly pressed to his thighs or in the pockets of his jeans or sweaters. alex almost doesn’t notice, wouldn’t have noticed had it not been for nick. nick and his older brother tendencies that had led him to squeeze logan’s neck when they saw each other at the factory.
alternatively,
logan, his touch-starvedness, and alex’s inability to be normal about him
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science-lings · 6 months ago
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Being annoying about each option under the cut
1- Ryunosuke has no other pictures of his bestie's face except for the one of his 'corpse' and that is Fucked Up, which is why I love it. this hc is based on the fact that during my playthrough I looked at the picture so many times bc I missed him immediately. Anyway 1-2 was the worst day of his life and the moment where he was given the photo for the first time really stuck with me.
2- They get to switch off being each other's judicial assistants and they both get to be different flavors of transmasc, I think it would be fun for them. Would they have to attend classes at Yumei to even be considered lawyers? who knows the point is they do it together and are like those cats that bond together and get sad when they get separated.
3- If they are in the same room together that sword is being switched back and forth several times, 'I think it matches your outfit today' or 'I'm on my period I shouldn't be in possession of a deadly weapon' or 'you said in the custody agreement that I get it on weekends' etc etc etc... Though it tends to go with Ryunosuke when they are separated for long periods of time. That sword is symbolic of so much gay shit in these games what's a little more.
4- my guy talks about 'the look' in Ryunosukes eyes so much during the last case, what are you looking into his eyes for? Heterosexual reasons? sure... (also 'fancy meeting you here' that is a pick-up line, you're in a prison, not a bar) Anyway his feelings towards Ryunosuke are complicated and he's so mad that at least one of the feelings in the emotional cocktail is something like attraction)
5- There's that disaster lesbian thing going on but also the situation was pretty stressful but one day she will wake up and it will hit her that her friend was still very interested in her even after she knew it was her in the disguise.
6- Sholmes keeps trying to refer to himself as 'the root of all evil' and how he's 'drawn to the darkness', he's trying so hard to be edgy but he's a six-foot-tall lanky blond man who is dramatic in the silly way and drapes himself over Ryunosuke at every opportunity. Either he's trying to build some kind of reputation or he wants to appeal to the local goth milf populace (Sithe and Tusspells) or even the reaper himself (there's some messy ex energy going on over there...)
7- I need Phoenix to inherit Karuma, he knows a bit about it but he doesn't make a big deal about it. He does have a few prosecutor friends who know the blade and are so annoyed that he's not super proud to own it. Also it's funny to me if the only family that Phoenix knows are a couple of victorian lawyers that haunt him. I think they should watch over him and be a little horrified. Ryunosuke was excited when he was intending to be a performing arts student as a fellow drama kid but it doesn't surprise him that he chose to become a lawyer. It's in his blood.
8- You cannot tell me Ryunosuke didn't want to fling himself off of that boat every night he was stuck in the room he thought Kazuma was killed in. He just didn't want to ruin Susatos trip to England by leaving her alone and he goes into a depression when she leaves for Japan, going so far as to avoid looking at the photo the 221b fam took before she left because it made him sad, which gets put up every time by Sholmes who Gets It. Meaning that he went up to the Naruhodo consulting agency regularly to check up on him. I like to think Sholmes was genuinely worried during the months he spent banned from the courtroom and without his weirdgirl who he bonded with through his best friends 'death'.
9- Wagahai is a good kitty, she can tell who the most depressed person in the building is and follows them around, sometimes Ryunosuke has a nightmare and wakes up with a cat right up by his face.
10- Ryunosuke starts the Naruhodo family tradition of not talking about their personal lives to people they care about and making their own little patchwork family for themselves. Practically all we know about his past is that he's afraid of doctors and studied English from a young age. And then like three months after going to a new country and meeting new people he's just like 'neat this is my family now :)' there is something going on there I swear. I have many conflicting ideas about what it could be specifically though.
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rqbossman · 6 months ago
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Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)
Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.
2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?
3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?
5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)
Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.
2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.
3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'
5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!
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loveveil · 1 month ago
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I have so many thoughts about Cantos 6-7-8 as a matching trifecta of interweaving themes, and my one friend that's into the series just got back into it and is on canto 5. I can only hold readers in my author's notes hostage for so long, so congrats on this being my first personal post on tumblr in literal years.
Maybe I'll start using this site more than just poking around tags when I'm bored.
Anyways
Been thinking a lot about how 6-7-8 involve sinners that the most likely to be brushed aside due to surface level factors in canon and by the fandom. Now, everyone goes through some degree of being mischaracterized by people, and all the Sinners have Hidden Depths (tm), but I find these three are the most susceptible. Rodya as well but that's a whole different story entirely and she's doing it on purpose anyway. They also have the most jarring pasts to contrast how they are now, so far at least.
Like of course, hindsight 20/20 and there's only so much you can do with characters that don't want to share their past or you know don't remember about their past to share, but it's so fascinating to me. I also find these three to be the most emotionally intelligent out of everyone. I am connecting dots frantically and waving string around if you can't tell.
It was so easy to write Heathcliff off as "just one of those guys" which I can't blame anyone for because he really did not make it easy, (I love him but I'm biased about Wuthering Heights) but then the Sinners are forced with the uncomfortable truth that Heathcliff was abused and looked down on his entire life and that's why he's the way he is. Of course, he's going to snark back and get angry if you start poking at him when you're getting close to parroting the same things as his abusers.
They almost lost Don Quixote and the fact that she had to go "oh now you want to listen to my stories" was such a good moment to me. I don't think everyone brushed her aside before then, but it happened enough to make note of; it effected her. Her feelings were probably hurt! The being basically told "now you start caring when it's dire," makes me wonder if they'll start being more consciences of each other in general. Everyone saying nice things to her at the end felt so campy in a good way but also like "oh man we gotta something nice right now!!" I'm begging everyone to please care about each other. Y'all are giving me secondhand embarrassment.
Hong Lu is a different beast entirely because he doesn't want to talk about his family in depth. He plays into the naive rich kid thing well, at first anyway, so it's easy to brush him off. I can't say much about him in general because no canto yet, but I believe he is also playing a role a he wholeheartedly believes in. He too is tied to a filial piety he cannot escape perhaps (I wanted bloodfiend ID for hong lu so bad they hate me). He will just mention horrific things and go on like it's no big deal, and the conversation has moved on before anyone can call him out on it. Him deciding to be the most candid with Rodya was definitely a choice; I like it. Whoever decides to call him out on his horrific upbringing one day, I wish you luck. I do wonder if that's going to happen in one of the Intervallos because he cannot keep getting away with this; he probably thinks he can because no one has asked him to talk about it. Hit em with the "oh I thought you never cared enough to ask" Hong Lu, I dare you.
Also interesting how we nearly lost Heathcliff and Don Quixote in different ways. Would love if the same happened to Hong Lu. I like the drama.
If Canto 8 ends up dealing with themes of change and memory well, that'd be a win for me.
This got away from me, but thumbs up. I swear I can be coherent.
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zpiderwebs · 18 days ago
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Okay i need a moment to rant about MULLET! Stan and just..stan in general. (Im a massive stanley kinnie).
Also I'm employed, what does this say about me? Idk. LOL
A bit of..a trigger warning?? SA is mentioned in this sorry.💔
Okay stan is the type of character where I don't know if I WANT him or I want to BE him. He such a well written character..I just..ugh..UGH!!!!])×@_×6!7+
I stop and take a good look at Stan, deep dive not only into his appearance but also his characteristics and personality, the way he is, how he turned out the way he is, everything.
His implied SA hits home for me. It hits a deep muscle in my body that it's hard to explain as a victim for multiple years. I see so much of myself in stan..so freaking much. He is me, I am him.
I love it when people explain deeper and add in his abandonment issues when it comes to writing fics about him. Alex himself said Stan just wants to be a family man. In other words, Stan doesn't want to be alone, even if he pushes away and acts like he's fine on his own when he's genuinely longing for someone. Romantic? Canonically, he's never been really able to keep a relationship, he sucks at them. (He has so many ex wifes LOL!!) Stan is your type of character where you just think he's a old, cranky man when you first see him, but as you dive deeper on getting to know him-- you realize he's just gone through a lot and it's shaped him that way and he is the way he is but deep down he has a true soft heart. A heart that has gone through so much pain, sorrow, and happiness, that all he wants now is to keep it locked away, afraid to open it up..but slowly giving someone that chance to keep it safe in their hands. I mean, look at him. He was thrown out by his father but what he genuinely cared for was his twin brother, hoping he'd be by his side, only for him to..back away, leaving Stan alone. THAT HURTS! imagine your other half that you shared a WOMB with let's go of your hand when reaching two paths, he leaves you alone and going down the path you both said you'd avoid because you'd make the same decisions to stay side by side forever. Abandonment and betrayal was what Stan felt, and he had that fear of it happening again for the rest of his life. (Hey! Sounds js..like me.)
There's so much more id love to rant about him but I feel like I'm going to explode ughhhhdnsndjs
Overall-- Stan is an amazing character, he should be loved. Whoever owns a stan plush (me) should always tuck him in and give him a goodnight kiss on the head. OH and stan will always and I mean ALWAYS rock that damn mullet🗣❗️❗️❗️💥💥💥
#ilystan💜💜💜
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