#it’s fucking possible and frankly im not prepared

[ahappyphjl]

fditl 2 where they kiss on camera.

[bonestrouslingbones]

i'm locking in

[thewertsearch]

GA: Im Not Sure Which Depresses Me More GA: The Sabotage Of Our Session Or The Futility Of Theirs [...] CG: YOU'RE BEING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS. GA: Well I Havent Asked What I Wanted To Ask [...] GA: Its About TentacleTherapist CG: YEAH. THAT'S THE ROSE HUMAN. CG: SHE'S APPARENTLY PRETTY SARCASTIC. CG: IT'S IN MY NOTES.

I love that Karkat prepared dossiers on the kids' personalities, presumably to harass them as efficiently as possible. We've never seen him talk to Rose, so I like to think he learned about her sarcasm from her passive-aggressive games with Mom.

GA: You Have Notes On Them [...] GA: Thats Why Youre Our Leader Karkat CG: NO, I'M YOUR LEADER BECAUSE OF MY INCREDIBLE TACTICAL SKILLS AND MY ABILITY TO MOBILIZE AND MOTIVATE A BUNCH OF USELESS PEOPLE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL, AND BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY AMBITIOUS AND INTREPID. ALSO BECAUSE LEADERSHIP IS IN MY BLOOD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.

I'm actually with Karkat on this. Uniting the trolls was an achievement, and he managed it better than most of his friends would have.

The only other trolls who might have had a shot were Terezi or Kanaya - but Kanaya was distracted by quadrant shenanigans, and Terezi likes causing problems on purpose. Plus, she wasn't interested in being the leader.

Karkat doesn't exactly give off 'inspiring leader' vibes, but he rose to the occasion magnificently. He got trolls like Vriska, Equius and Eridan to act as a unit, and it's frankly astounding that it worked as well as it did.

GA: Have You Talked To Her CG: WHO GA: The Rose Human GA: Also GA: Do We Really Have To Say Things Like The Rose Human CG: OF COURSE WE DO. CG: IT SOUNDS SUITABLY DISDAINFUL. CG: I MEAN, IF A BUNCH OF ALIENS STARTED HASSLING YOU, YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO ACT REALLY HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY, RIGHT?.

Humans are, basically, cousins to the trolls - and the first thing the trolls did was try to obfuscate that fact. I think Karkat's motive was to make them sound intimidating, but they ended up just sounding like cartoon characters. Not that I'm complaining.

CG: DID YOU WANT TO TROLL HER? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? [...] GA: Im Not Sure If Ive Got It In Me Right Now CG: COME ON. YOU'LL BE GREAT AT IT. CG: PLEASE JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME. WE'VE GOT TO STAY COORDINATED ON THIS. CG: TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS ARE GOING ROGUE.

Karkat may have united the trolls, but I think his leadership died with the Black King. He said it himself - his strength was in motivating the trolls to a common goal. Out here in the Veil, there is no more goal, and things are rapidly unraveling.

CG: I'LL EXPECT A FULL REPORT SOON. GA: A Report About What [...] CG: HOW HASSLED YOU GOT HER TO BE CG: BUT LESS STUPID SOUNDING THAN THAT. GA: Is There A Metric For That Concept [...] CG: WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER".

And I don't think Project Trolling was just a way for Karkat to vent his frustrations, either. I mean, that's definitely what he thinks it is, but if it was just that, he'd be doing it alone.

GA: That Seems Just As Disparaging To Me As It Is To Her CG: YEAH WELL CG: USE IT AS MOTIVATION

He's doing it to motivate the other trolls. A part of him has realized that his team has lost direction, and he's subconsciously trying to provide them a new goal - something new to unite them.

Because what happens if the trolls aren't united?

Blood, mostly.

And Karkat hates blood.

[discjude]

(book 6 spoilers. very heavy. like two of the big plot twists in this one)

I like book 6 for a lot of reasons but the biggest reason is the absolutely fucking inSANE three chapter run in it that is possibly the worst whiplash I've ever gotten from a book. I am of course talking about the Snake Eyes - Flesh And Blood - The Agatha Quartet run. So we've got

Snake Eyes - the (frankly. insane) reveal that Rafal is the TCY twin's dad. insane. unreal. Why would they do that. who's going to tell Sophie. Mad. Surely we need a Moment to recover from this very important revelatio-

Flesh And Blood - not even kidding it's all of the japeth lore. just like all of it. The first half of the chapter is literally just the events leading up to book 4 from his perspective. So surely the second half is some cool fight scene ri WRONG. ARIC. suddenly turns into (in my opinion) the most devastating chapter in book 6. we get some of the best Japeth Dialogue (tm) (oh??? you genuinely actually would've like given up the crown for him? Aric essentially tells him the best course of action is just to kill himself? right! okay!). it's not actually Aric and japeth like works it out or whatever but okay. okay. I'm prepared this time. Third devastating chapter. I can deal with-

The Agatha Quartet: haha guys they don't know which one's the real Agatha!!!! and Sophie's got to work it out!!!!!!! by asking them silly little questions!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a normal chapter progression!!!!!!!! This is so fun and silly!!!! im in literal tears

Absolute madness. This is why book 6 is second in my ranking

[decepti-thots]

Im so intrigued by a world where brainstorm goes through with his original time travel plan ... do you have any specific headcanons about quark and brainstorm's relationship? or how he might react to being saved?

i spoke about this briefly about a year ago here!

since then my personal headcanon has firmed up a bit. i don't think they were close; i don't think they were even friends or anything. personally, i think the version that works best with the story Elegant Chaos tells is that quark and brainstorm were coworkers and nothing more, and brainstorm was horribly in love with quark from afar and it was not only unrequited but like. quark didn't have a clue. and brainstorm was fully aware of all this and that quark if anything didn't much like him, and was fully prepared to upend his entire life just to ensure the guy was alive anyway, with no expectation whatsoever that this would lead to quark loving him or anything of the sort. because that's two things: one, it's a phenomenally selfless thing to do. and two, it also speaks to a kind of casual disregard for himself as a person, not an intellect or a "genius" or a tool but a person with feelings and a life outside his ability to create weapons, that i think is very in line with brainstorm's combo of arrogance and disregard for his own wellbeing we get hints of in canon.

which like. okay. imagine you are about to die in the worst circumstances imaginable and suddenly you get saved out of nowhere by the little weirdo nobody who you used to work with. you didn't like him. frankly, you're a bit of a snob and that guy's an MTO; you possibly hold some casual, unexamined sense of superiority towards him, even. and you just found out that not only did he just save your life, he did it by inventing time travel. he doesn't save anyone else. just you. he came for you. he invented time travel for you. he spent however many thousands of years doing nothing but inventing time travel for you, and he is the only person who knows you are alive, and if anyone finds out he did this you are both So Fucked, and he's in love with you apparently, and you had to ask him his name because you didn't even remember if it was Brainstorm or Highbrow. you two are now stuck together. it is the most awkward circumstance imaginable. what do you DO. it drives me NUTS like what! was brainstorm gonna DO!!! lies down. who do i have to blackmail to write this 50k fic for me tbh i want it

[sapphiresgarden]

omg i just wanna comfort furina so much after the 4.2 trailer and her teaser 😭😭

my baby deserves more love..i just wanna kiss her tears away, give her alot of attention and cuddles and feed furina her favourite dessert until shes smiling again <3

ohh i have a lot to say about this trailer and her teaser and everything AHHHH

first of all, yes. all the cuddles and desserts for her!! any dessert she wants from all across the tevyat she will get <3 i will even bake for her. getting my little apron and going to bake the tastiest desserts ever <3 and so many kisses and hugs and everything she wants AND i will tell her all the bad jokes that actually should get me in jail until she laughs. everything for her fr.

but regarding the trailer and her teaser... look i did joke about furina being marie antoinette. joke. joked. JOKED!!! IT WAS A JOKEEE leave her alone!!

her hat falling down on the floor killed me. her crying killed me. i am dead and frankly scared for the archon quest because i dont think i will survive furina being sad 💔💔💔💔 like she did nothing wrong!! maybe she was a little silly and wrongly accused lyney over the showtime accident but, come on, this surely is no reason to be so cruel toward her. girl is trying to save fontaine pls let her CHILL!!!

but on a... better side?? you see i always believed that she was actually pretty smart and more than the girl failure of the year and i think this trailer shows that she IS more than this. and im happy!! also scared what the fuck she is cooking but happy nonetheless AHAHZJSJJ i was always annoyed at people shitting on furina because ohhh she was just dramatic and childish and annoying and yet everyone just. didnt even try looking deeper into her character. already after first part of archon quest i knew that there is more to furina. and i was willing to argue with people about it!!! will defend her till i die.

yet all this makes me worry that hoyoverse is going to fuck her up because... it's still possible. hoyoverse isn't the nicest to the genshin girls sometimes and their writing lacks (look at nilou. this girl has genuinely so much about her yet her writing lacks so much and people are so quick to call her boring. same for kokomi and how they failed to show her tactician skills) and i just worry about it. still i have hopes for some good twist and story!!

and gods her teaser got me so confused in a good way. i actually had hard time telling if shes talking to us, directly to players or no... probably my favorite character teaser like ever!! but it was also really sad, especially when she hugged the mecha dog... i want to give her a hug now. many hugs pls. shes making me so sad 😭😭😭 i hope everything will end well for furina and her people, and if it doesnt i will go and yell at hoyoverse, preparing my bags tickets and plane as i speak!!

[stormyoceans]

If Sea says that as a homework assignment he has watched "Scent of a Woman" with Al Pacino hundreds of times, I will cry ugly tears and no one will stop me, because this is literally the best representation of a blind man in a movie that I have ever seen😭😭😭

Monica, tell me that you saw today's workshop!? I'm literally climbing on the ceiling from what I saw! Sea trusts Jimmy 1000% and follows him without a shadow of a doubt. I'm ready to tear my hair out from THIS!!!!!!😭😭😭😭

THE WAY THIS IS THE FIRST THING I SAW WHEN I OPENED TUMBLR AFTER AN ENTIRE DAY OF DOING CHORES AND I ALMOST BROKE MY FINGERS TO GO CHECK THE OFFICIAL LAST TWILIGHT ACCOUNT AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT AND THEN ALMOST BROKE MY PHONE AS WELL WHILE REFRESHING TWITTER 93648537 TIMES BECAUSE GOD KNOWS WHAT ELON MUSK DID TO FUCK IT UP THIS TIME AND NOW IM JUST SHAKING OUT OF MY SKIN YELLING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THROWING UP BLOOD WHILE IN A DEAD FAINT ON THE FLOOR EXPERIENCING THE ENTIRE RANGE OF HUMAN EMOTIONS BECAUSE IT'S HAPPENING IT'S REALLY HAPPENING THEY'RE COMING TO US!!!!!!!!!!

i honestly have no words to express how happy i am to know that they actually had someone with a visual impairment talk about their experience and help during workshop. i know this is like.. the bare minimum but again, if we can't have any actors with visual impairments to play in the show, im at least glad they're trying to educate themselves and consulting people from the community so they can represent this story on screen in a way that's as respectful and realistic as possible

ALSO NOT TO BE THAT PERSON BUT JIMMYSEA REALLY BE POWER WALKING AROUND THAT ROOM LIKE IT'S NOTHING AND I FEEL SUICIDAL ABOUT IT. jimmy looks so confident while leading sea but also so careful as he glances back from time to time to check on him, but the thing that frankly is making me want to throw myself off a fifteen story building and is probably gonna lend me in a psych ward sooner rather than later is that you are sooo right, sea is just following jimmy along with no sign of hesitation in his steps, matching jimmy's pace so easily and walking so close to him TRULY THE TRUST THE FAITH THE BOND!!!!!!!!!

tbh i wouldn't be surprised if p'aof gave scent of a woman as an assignment to both jimmy and sea since the focus of the movie is the relationship between a man with visual impairment and a student in need of money who takes a job as his caregiver, so it can be an interesting point of view for both of them!!!! also this reminds me that gmmtv better give me a two hours long special where the entire cast shares what they watched and read and did to prepare for their roles I JUST WANT TO KNOW EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS SHOW I ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH WITH THE WAY GMMTV MISTREATED VICE VERSA THEY OWE ME ONE

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So, state of my mind currently;

I feel like im handling trauma related anxiety a hell of a lot better. Certainly better than I was expecting. And I think its because I finally stopped and seriously asked myself...what can my mother do to me?

Because at this point the answer is basically nothing. She could show up at my front door ten minutes from now and what would happen is we would call the police and frankly, the whole situation would likely be resolved pretty quickly.

It's not completely gone? I still have that little pit of dread at the thought of her, but clinging onto that fact that I am physically safe is massively helping now that I'm able to internalise it. In a weird way its also helping that like...I have bigger problems now?? I have things to do, I have a job to prepare for, I have groceries to buy, money is a far more present issue to stress over than a vitriolic middle aged woman trying to power-play someone who has zero trust or sympathy left for her.

What I am worried about is Charlie. She's still in a very risky place but again, I'm able to focus on her. I'm not the target anymore, she is. And God FUCKING help that sad old cunt if she causes a single thing to happen to my sister.

Im talking to the police tomorrow to see if we have enough grounds for legal action and I've given Charlie resources to look into regarding housing, both emergency shelter and longer term accommodation for vulnerable individuals. The idea of her actually getting out too is...really surreal, and honestly a little scary? Police makes everything feel very Real and escalated. But for the first time in quite possibly my entire life I feel like im on equal, possible even better footing than my mother is. And that's...wild.

[dear-god-christ-in-hell]

im frankly insulted by apparently how fucking many people put wooden spoons under their pillows

im gonna fight all you fucks who did that shit

using witchcraft to make it snow is dope for getting out of work/school

b u t.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SNOW WE GOT IN SOME PLACES

THE ICE WAS THICKER THAN A FUCKING SNICKER OUT HERE

I DUG MY CAR OUT OF DEADASS ICE BLOCKS DISNEY HOPES THEY GOT FOR BIGMANS HEAD

3 TIMES

IN ONE FUCKING DAY

IN 12 HOURS I SHOVELED ENOUGH SNOW TO FUCK ANYONE UP IN A SNOW BALL FIGHT

SQUIDWARD'S TOWER WOULD'VE BEEN AN ANT HILL

COMPARED TO THE MASSIVE FUCKING AMOUNT OF SNOW I SHOVELED

ME AND THE PLOW GUY HAVE BEEF NOW

MY CAR THINKS ITS ALL MY FAULT

THE DOGS ARE CONFUSED ON WHAT POSSIBLY COULD'VE UNLEASHED DANTES VERSION OF HELL ON THEIR YARD

IF I EVEN THINK I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE I NEED TO PREPARE ENOUGH THAT I ALREADY FEEL LIKE IVE RUN AN ERRAND

use your witchcraft to make something else get us out

im so ok with the that

but please

im begging

no more snow

remember everyone you gotta do the pre snow day rituals to ensure school and work is cancelled tomorrow.

[lesbienneanarchiste]

When will straight size knitters finally decide to stop supporting designers who don't make size inclusive patterns.... Like I do get it that you want to make their vintage style patterns and they're the only ones doing it like that so as long as your size is covered it doesn't affect you but guess what, I too would like to make those vintage style patterns and I can't because marie wallin and company have decided fat people don't get to wear fair isle so maybe have a spine and demand better from big name designers

[agnesmontague]

note: i actually had the post and tags below written up a good while ago (since 10/20, at least) but i think it’s finally time to drop it out there. i’m speaking as one (1) korean and definitely not for all koreans but i have Seen Things

squid game is not that deep and frankly we don’t need any non-koreans getting precious about how to “properly” consume it to interpret its “full meaning” like it’s a rare ingredient that needs to be properly cooked to let out flavor bc it is, at best, mildly haute fast food and not some elevated political statement art piece. i’m sure there’s something to be said about the irony of americans taking it too much at face value and only consuming it like another uwu fandom to make AUs out of or unironically calling it a satire of the DPRK, but the latter group are already too far gone in their political brainrot to be worthy of any serious attention and frankly i think the former group is closer to the right idea than anyone treating squid game like high art

the reason im so cynical about it when i usually tend to be more hesitant about labeling things “not deep” is because the american/western political discussion around this show in itself is starting to feel like a form of fetishism, especially when actual koreans in korea who would connect most strongly to the story are so generally lukewarm towards it from what i can tell. the themes of exploitative capitalism, the horrors of poverty, the sordid dynamics of a dog-eat-dog world etc that are explored by squid game are old news that’s been trodden over and over again by writers like hyun jin-geon, yi bum-seon, and kim seung-ok since the 20s. koreans grow up reading and studying works by these authors without the political radicalization that ought to have come with them so concrete change is slow to come and everyone is fucking tired. the point is none of this is revolutionary to actual folks on the ground and it is actually kind of hair-raising to watch non-korean westerners scrambling over each other in a mad dash to get out more woke “critical thinking” takes about the state of korean capitalism over a piece of art that became an international sensation in part due to how much the political commentary was cut into tiny colorful pieces and wrapped in bacon (dunked in caramel?) to be palatable to as wide an audience as possible

i’m also unimpressed by the discourse because a lot of squid game is actually considered kind of regressive by korean leftist standards; every character is an unsubtle and easily recognizable archetype of korean society because squid game is a fable, but it’s been especially decried over how much it normalizes sexism and how it characterizes women, immigrants, and DPRK defectors as members of korean society. a lot of digital ink has been spilled over ali abdul who i personally would argue is also a fairly stagnant image of the “sympathetic immigrant” that hasn’t moved on since Wandeugi in 2011, but outdated characterization is not a problem unique to ali. it only contributes to my feeling that western audiences are trying to engage with squid game on a deeper level than it is prepared to meet them because it’s an “exotic” piece of foreign art and it would be out of their lane to make assumptions about creative decisions that would have been lambasted to hell and back were they made in an american show. and no, this is not an invitation for non-koreans to now “cancel” squid game with gleeful abandon. anything other than sincere enjoyment of what the show actually has to offer just feels kinda disingenuous, is what i’m trying to say

tl;dr: the surface message of what you got out of squid game is basically its entire message. it was cleverly done in some parts especially with regards to visual design and narrative structure. it’s a fun thriller show on a billion-dollar platform with a thesis on korean capitalism that is even more watered down from Parasite. if you enjoyed the show, liked its characters, had fun binging it, that’s fantastic, and tbh it’s the only “real” way it was meant to be engaged with, i think. anyone trying to insist otherwise, especially to make themselves look smarter, makes my.... how do you say, kimchi senses tingle

[weirdmageddon]

five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago

i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me

IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.

i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.

if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that

when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.

but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.

i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.

to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example

see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:

even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.

the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”

but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).

and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”

even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”

these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”

dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.

there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.

what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.

and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?

[damselofblueroses]

Bambi, Chapter 1

You are my Bambi, girl, I am your candy, tell me what are you waiting for?

Summary: As an archaeologist who works on the Ancient Greece, you were on the verge of excavations’ session. While you have been preparing your team, you learned that your institute decided on your team has to work with another team as they wanted the outcome as a collaboration. The head of other team was your biggest rival, a scumbag in your eyes: Byun Baekhyun.

You two were supposed to work together for three months, in a Greek Island, Chios.

Could you manage to not kill Byun Baekhyun for three months?

Content: AU, heavily Greek mythology, enemies to friends.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story will be four or five chapters if I will not change my mind in the meantime. It is inspired by my major; however, I do not have a complete knowledge on archaeology, I am a historian. If I will make a technical mistake, please let me know. I am willing to receive any kind of feedback; you are more than welcomed to drop a message.

Chapter One: UN Village

June, Incheon Airport

Along the curves of the hill

Rolling, rolling, rolling hills

As we climb there’s a broken streetlight

When I see one, I turn off the lights under it

Baekhyun was nothing but ready for the excavation.

You were more than ready for the session.

Both of you, were nothing but two leaders who hated each other equally.

You were eyeing each other with saying no words since your teams came together in the airport. Before this particular moment of departure, you refused to meet with Byun Baekhyun, putting aside meeting with him, you refused even dropping an e-mail in order to let Sunkyungwan Team about Sejong Team. You were clear and strict as fuck, even though two teams had to work together for three months, you had zero intention to get accustomed with the other team leader.

The weather was sunny, nice and warm, however because of you and Baekhyun, your team members were feeling like they were trapped in a fucking blizzard during the coldest winter.

You were aware of your team members had positive opinions of that scoundrel, especially the girls, as you had your first-handed experiences because of your stupid classmates, Byun Baekhyun was very famous of his abilities to cast a spell on women. The problem was he was also famous as a serial dater, serial killer type of men.

A bastard, nothing more nothing less.

“Indy,” one of your team members, Minseok, called you. Although, calling you as Indy was also a habit of Minseok, it was also an obligation for the others, you insisted on calling you by your nickname or your name, instead of calling you as sunbae. You did not like the hierarchical titles. “Should we move into the control point?”

“Yeah, if you are ready.” you replied, grabbing your luggage and the rest.

“I guess we have to alert Sunkyungwan people since we will fly together.” Hyesun pointed out, your eyebrows knitted.

“I guess,” you recall her words. “They also have this information, so we do not have to alert anyone, we are not their babysitters.”

Hyesun’s cheeks were blushing after you kindly scolded her, but she was clever enough to hold her tongue. Your dislike towards Sunkyungwan was not a secret as you used every opportunity to show it. You led your team to the kiosks, counting the heads automatically. You had six here, you were going to have ten more when you arrive to Chios whose coming from all around European universities. With thirteen Sunkyungwan students, the excavation was going to shelter almost forty members. It was going to be massive, you had to admit. You never had more than twenty students in the field till now, but you were going to lead an extraordinary team as Junmyeon craved into your brain’s folds with his hammer of words.

You wished to be with Junmyeon right now, you were more tense than usual. Junmyeon could put you in more stable mood, however you even did not think to name him while the executives were asking your possible candidates. He would kill you merciless, you knew it very well.

Eh, at least you got Sehun, Junmyeon’s brother in your team, he had a lot of similarities with Junmyeon even though he could be noisier than anyone you know, however you accepted him as your dongsaeng, as his precious noona and role model, you also knew how to put him in an order. Then you had Minseok, the eternal field-partner of yours. He was older than you, although he was engaged in a Ph.D. programme in abroad, he willingly accepted your invitation. You had four seniors, Shinhye, Yixing, Jongdae and Hyesun.

To your dismay, two of the seniors who you really could want in your team, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were in that bastard’s team. You were of the fact that they were immensely close to each other, but you wished to have them in your team as their abilities were precious.

Especially Doh Kyungsoo.

You missed that fucking bastard who preferred to be with Baekhyun.

Life, you inhaled. It was not going exactly in the way you could ask.

“On your foot, soldiers.” you called your team around you. “Do you collect all the materials you will be in need of?”

“Yeah.” Jongdae cutely pointed to his tiniest bag. “I am ready to excavate.”

“Exactly you will need every tool you have.” Shinhye smacked her husband’s shoulder. Yeah, you had a married couple in your team, although you were a year younger them, you always regarded yourself as their big sister, if not a mother. “You are going to work too much, Dae. I have sleepless nights because of the burden on your shoulders.”

You could not help but burst into laughs after the look Jongdae gave to his wife. Those idiots, they were so lovely and instead of their endless scolding sessions, they were incredibly fond of each other.

Sometimes you wonder, how having your significant other by your side would be?

You slightly shook your head, quickly climbing out of this deep cliff.

“Let’s go!” you exclaimed, jumping to the air. “Sejong is ready for the session!”

Baekhyun was watching you with a disgusted expression.

“Move on, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol pushed his body to forward. “We will miss the flight, Goddamnit.”

“Give him couple of minutes.” Kyungsoo chuckled. “He is fucking the girl with his eyes, frankly, he is doing it unapologetically.”

“Which girl?” Chanyeol’s eyes widened. “Do you mean, that girl? You c-

“Of course, I am not.” Baekhyun interrupted Chanyeol, staring at Kyungsoo. “She can go and fuck herself.”

“Well,” Kyungsoo stood up, placing his book into the bag. “I guess, you are going to be one to fuck her, but maybe I am wrong.”

“In her dreams.” Baekhyun laughed. “If she can manage to dream something like this, but I do not think so. That little freak can put even the nuns into a shame.”

“She is beautiful to be honest.” Chanyeol said with no different intention but observing your features carefully. “Okey maybe not the hottest girl in the town, but she is pretty, and I heard she is very clever.”

“She is.” Kyungsoo approved. “But she kicked Baekhyun’s ass twice, so he cannot endure her presence.”

“She never,” Baekhyun grunted lowly. “Kick me or my proverbial parts!”

“Did someone talk about kicking some asses?” Jongin appeared out of nowhere. “I am in.”

“Shut up, Jongin.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Let’s pick the team.”

The smile on Kyungsoo’s face irritated Baekhyun, he wanted to erase that fucking grin so bad, punching his face but Baekhyun had to hold his manners as the team leader. If they would be in their flat, he could already beat the shit out of Kyungsoo, at least he would try.

Baekhyun hated the fact that Kyungsoo had the exact past with you and him. Three of you entered the department together, instead Kyungsoo went to another university to pursue his master, in the end he testified every moment between you and Baekhyun.

That’s why he was smiling since he learned you were going to be the other team leader.

Baekhyun was aware of the close relationship between you and Kyungsoo, one of his best friends.

Quickly Baekhyun led his team to the control point, close to your team. He was avoiding from this step, however as the leader, presenting his fucking team to your team was his responsibility. When they arrived, he took a deep breath.

“Good morning to all.” his blood started to boil when you turned to him with a displeased face expression. Your eyebrows were knitted, your fucking lips formed as a thick line, your dislike was palpable and Baekhyun knew his own face was mirroring your feelings. “I hope you are fine, could you let me present my team to you?”

Baekhyun wanted nothing but cut the shit off.

“Good morning.” you answered between your teeth. Your voice sounded extremely creepy. “Yeah, go for it.”

You do not make a favour to me, bloody woman, Baekhyun thought but he put all his efforts to control his words.

“My name is Byun Baekhyun, I am going to lead Sunkyungwan Team this year.” he looked at your team members, quickly memorized their faces. “I really look forward to work with you, I wish a good session for us. They are my members, Park Chanyeol, Doh Kyungsoo, Kim Jongin, Kim Danbi, Lee Taemin, Lee Donghae, Kim Jonghyun, Kim Kibum, Lee Seungjo, Kang Seulgi, Im Yoona, Kim Taeyeon and Kwon Yuri.”

“You are like a troop, huh?” one of your girls smiled after Baekhyun finished his presentation.

“More or less.” Baekhyun smiled back to her. What a surprise to him was the transformation of your face. You warmly smiled to the members and bowed to each of them.

Baekhyun raised his left eyebrow, but he could not avert his eyes from your smiling face.

It was pleasant like a spring day and when you smile your eyes were shining.

“Thank you.” he heard your voice. “My team is not big as yours, Park Shinhye, Kim Jongdae, Zhang Yixing, Oh Sehun, Kim Minseok and Song Hyesun.”

“You forget yourself.” Minseok slapped his forehead and rolled his eyes. “Indy is going to lead Sejong Team as she has been leading us for the last two years, you can put your faith on her, she is the greatest.”

“Indy?” Jongin repeated your nickname with a surprised face. “Are you foreigner?”

“Do I look like?” you laughed and prevented yourself from flinching his forehead. He was such a cute kid. “That’s how my team call me.”

“Ah.” Jongin blushed and you could not control yourself anymore.

“But if you want, you can also call me as Indy.” you grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Everything must be equal for the teams since we are going to live together during a whole summer.”

“I would like to.” Jongin bowed to you.

“So do we need to add sunbae when we call you?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Have you ever called me as a sunbae, Doh Kyungsoo?” you coldly replied. “Did Sunkyungwan change your behaviours?”

“Gardens of roses turn to garths of thorns in a second.” Kyungsoo murmured but he was smiling to you, then he opened his arms, catching you off guard because you knew that Kyungsoo was not a huge fan of hugs. “Will you salute me as a good friend, or will I start calling you as sunbae?”

“Shut the fuck up, Doh.” you inhaled, but actually you were happy to see your still-working-on friendship. You moved to hug him, he held you tightly and lifted you to the air, then turned around himself, made you laugh like a 5-year-old girl.

Baekhyun did not like what was happening before his eyes. Kyungsoo had to be with Baekhyun, not hugging you for his fucking dear life, or lifting and turning you around like you were very dear to him. He hated sharing his friends with you, he already lost Junmyeon, he wanted to keep Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to himself. You should be fucking away from them, they were Baekhyun’s and only Baekhyun’s friends.

And there was another fragile issue that Baekhyun had been keeping in the deepest point of his heart and mind, like the palace of Nyx in the darkest part of Tartarus. Extremely delicate, horrendous, and even atrocious.

Baekhyun was aware of a strange presence was lying down beneath his hatred, dislike and continuous loathe towards you, there was a layer of curiosity, something could feed different layers and causing an earthquake in his life. Baekhyun knew that you were his biggest rival, but you became his rival by your talents and intelligence. He knew this and this piece of realization doubled his hate towards you.

The funny part was the things he did not realize. Baekhyun was full of confidence, he was capable of performing even miracles, however he never perceive the fact that you were also a miracle.

“So, what we are going to do?” Chanyeol asked to everyone with a huge, happy smile. Baekhyun fended himself off moaning, happy virus Chanyeol already sensed the chance of levitating the mood between the teams and playing along with it. “Are we boarding?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” one of your boys, Sehun, came close to Chanyeol. Baekhyun and you immediately glared them, noticing the chemistry between these two. Both of you wished to keep the teams apart from each other in order to reduce the obliged interactions between the leaders, but it seemed not possible even from the beginning. Baekhyun was cursing between his lips, you were swearing at the executive board in your mind.

“Indy,” Shinhye whispered to you. “Are you okey? You look like wanting to kill one of us.”

“Not you.” you answered without thinking, then registered to your words. “Ignore me, Shinhye, I am a little bit tense right now.”

“We got your back.” she blinked at you and held Jongdae’s hand. “Let’s start the adventure!”

What an adventure, you thought but silently joined them. Kyungsoo also was walking next to you.

“Why the heck you went to Sunkyungwan?” you spilled the bean. “I always believed you would stay in Sejong.”

“Yeah, that was my intention.” Kyungsoo was plain as always. “However, Sunkyungwan gives me more opportunities to secure my career, Indy.”

“I know.” you had to admit. Sejong was not generous as Sunkyungwan. “Sorry for my selfish words.”

“No worries.” he beamed. “It happens all the time, but I am really happy to work with you again.”

“Old but gold days, huh?”

“Well, it was not purely gold,” Kyungsoo followed the flows and ebbs. “Do you remember when we were almost expelled from the university?”

“Is there a way to forget those days?” you immediately took a look on Baekhyun. It was his fault, obviously. “We were shitting in our pants instead of the one who put us in that situation.”

“Come on,” Kyungsoo chuckled. “It was not only his fault, Indy, our hands were also crimson red.”

“Let me recall the memory, Doh,” you pinched his hand, he playfully pushed your fingers. “Excuse me if I am wrong, however that scumbag was the one who challenged you to confiscate the coin, because of your involvement into the incident, I had no choice but dragging your ass out of shit.”

“They caught two of us in the crime field.” Kyungsoo burst into laughs. “Professor Lee went ballistic and scolded us like we just killed a person cold heartedly.”

“And you could not see the reason behind it?” You were cutting Kyungsoo’s body with your eyes. “If someone tries to steal a coin from the excavation house during the session, I will kill them for sure. We were so lucky, the one who caught us was Professor Lee.”

“I heard you are strictest when it comes to excavation.” Kyungsoo assured you. “But try to not kill us.”

“The only one I am going to take down,” you shivered with the memory, Kyungsoo was already regretful to remind it to you. Well, maybe not so much because he wanted you and Baekhyun to realize the potential relationship you could have, and the easiest way in order to put you two in touch was making you angry. “That bastard if he will behave like the old days. We are not children anymore.”

“Have you ever been a kid?”

“Fuck off, Kyungsoo.”

“You did not change even a bit, Indy.” Kyungsoo made his statement. Obviously, you were going to keep this to yourself, taking his silent approval made you were more than happy. “You are still a pain in the ass.”

“And you are still a good boy.” you grinned, watching his lips formed around silent laughs. “Such a cute puppy for me, let me see your wagging tail.”

“I am sorry to interrupt your flirting session,” Kyungsoo turned to Baekhyun’s deadpanned face. “However, we have to move.”

“When you come across to a pretty girl,” Kyungsoo did not miss the chance of returning the favour. “You have to flirt with her. Wasn’t it your advice?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun looked at you, then turned to Kyungsoo.

You knew what was going to happen.

“He said pretty girls,” you tucked the words in Baekhyun’s mouth before he could open his fucking damn mouth. “To my dismay, I have never been pretty to correspond the standards of Byun Baekhyun the Magnificent. I am crying for the lack of beauty almost every night, I mean living without Byun Baekhyun’s interests… Such a misery.”

Kyungsoo bit his lower lip in order to hold his laugh, Baekhyun’s fists were clenching but you did not stop there.

"Ah I almost forget to ask for the name of that little village, Baekhyun.” you directly looked at his eyes since ages. “Where the girl you desperately wanted to bless with your attention left you? UN Village?”

You immediately spin on your tiptoes, then slipped towards to Sehun, leaving two of them behind of you, refusing to look at back. In the meantime, Baekhyun was throwing daggers to your back, grinding his teeth, his jaw was extremely tensed. Before Kyungsoo could stop him, he swiftly came to your side, you felt his breath on your neck.

You shivered.

You fucking shivered and Baekhyun noticed that.

“You are playing with the fire, as always.” he whispered to your ear before someone could notice what he was doing. “Did you forget who was burning with fire, baby girl?”

He quickly disappeared and started to make such a fuss in order to gather his team members around himself. You were frozen, after years, you were frozen, you missed the little smile on the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth.

You were on the verge of screaming because of the frustration you had felt. You forced yourself to proceed, walked into the plane, helped your team in order to set their belongings and place into their seats, then you retreated your own seat. It was comfortable and you could easily snatch a blanket. Your wish became true, even quicker than you expected because Sehun, your wonderful Sehun, already brought a soft blanket for you. You smiled at him, actually forgiving him for building bonds with Chanyeol since they changed their seats in order to sit next to each other and weaved your legs around the fabric.

Your brain was in autopilot, you were lost in the horrible memories. You did not want to recall them, you buried them into the cemetery of your memory. You wished nothing but never remember that day.

The day in that village.

Baekhyun was mad at himself.

His face was clouded, for the first time he was silent and sitting on the farthest seat in the plane. He really wanted to be alone, and since being vocal about his feeling was so natural for him, he told his need to the team. They willingly let him to do what he wanted, as a result, he was looking out of window, hell if a person could see something out of a plane’s window, and he was cursing himself.

He knew it was going to be a chess play. Between you and him.

It has been always like the chess.

There was a bond between you and Baekhyun, even thought you two always refused it, you also were aware of that bond. You equally hated each other and if there was a thing which could make you happier than seeing each other’s downfalls, that was the opportunity of being the one who digs the other’s grave by their hands.

He was sure on he was going to be the one who sets your body on fire, then finishes you. He was sure on he was going to be the victor, the one and only champion.

When he kills you, erases your name for all eternity, when he condemns you with demnatio memoriae, he will calmly breathe again.

You were a pain in the ass, even when you were not around of Baekhyun, you had a place in his mind since that fucking day he met you. Your presence was like a tree, how much he could try, he could neither find your roots in his mind nor cut them all.

You were his enemy; he was going to treat you as you deserved.

There would be no turning back.

But…

He was mad at himself.

He made a wrong move while he was trying to disturb you, shake your cage in order to give you a lesson.

He also remembered.

The day in that fucking village.

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

hii!!!

i just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your writing!!

the past month has been really really rough for me and the only thing thats gotten me through is reading your work.... i ummm might actually have read through every single work you have on ao3 😅 the way you write is just incredible, i love the personal touch added to everything you write.

its funny because i think you truly excel at writing novels with detailed lore and backstories but my favourites are the cute domestic ones where theyre just neighbours or roommates or whatever. the way you write apartment living is so obviously drawn for your own real perspective in the best way possible and feels so real that i couldnt help but constantly agree with everything you were saying.

your dialog is so natural and fluid i often forget im reading tbh and you never write perfect people, theyre always realistic and fucked up and flawed and amazing. i always believe the world you write around them, and i constantly found myself at the edge of my seat at 5am desperate to know how the fuck they would fix everything.

i appreciate that you take the time to add the trigger warnings in the notes of each chapter, i always felt like i was prepared for what was ahead, or if something was too heavy before going in so i could walk away or go to sleep until i was slightly more ready.

i have maybe accidentally left a few essays in the comments of some of your fics already but i just wanted to let you know at the end of my journey (for now until you write more because frankly im obsessed and will probs go reread something after this just to fill the void) how much your writing has meant to me <3 thank you so much i cant imagine the amount of time, effort and love goes into writing so many full-length novels for free in such a short time span <3

Hello Anon! 

I’m really sorry to hear you’ve been going through a hard time lately, I hope that things have improved since you sent in this message ❤ And if you were able to find an escape even for a few minutes in any of my fics, I’m really glad I was able to help you, even if just a little bit 💕💕

Thank you so much for your kind words ;~; I’m so glad that you enjoyed both the lore-based fics as well as the slice-of-life fics XD And that’s good that it’s realistic enough to obviously stem from real life haha. I’ll be honest some things are fading from memory though (I legit cannot remember how periods in school work, but like, I don’t feel like I should have forgotten that??? I think I just purged school from memory because it was awful HAHA) 

And thank youuuuuu!! I have so much fun with dialogue orz I try sometimes not to write too much of it because I know I write it a lot but it’s just really fun to me XD And everyone’s got flaws, no matter how perfect we all think we are pfft ;) 

I find sometimes something needs to be warned about without being a legit tag, so the end note warnings are the easiest way I found to do that, especially in situations where it’s a spoiler. That way people can read safely without worrying about being triggered because I’m defo not about that |D 

You are seriously so sweet, thank you so much ;~; I’m seriously so glad you enjoyed my stuff and I hope that you keep finding things to enjoy in the fandom as a whole because it’s a fun one :3 Thank you so much for the lovely message, and for any essays you left me on Ao3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[literaphobe]

one of the things that I love abt sadf is that it's almost like a crack fic, but it's treated seriously. i mean it in the best way possible LMAO. it's fun to read and you have a great sense of humor, but the fic itself doesn't feel like a joke. it has emotional depth and even though the characters are kinda goofy (we got a.. number 1 victory royale! yeah fortnite we bout to get down) it's not so ridiculous that it's out of character. they are goofy people and you don't make them out to be more insane or more severe than they actually are. your characterizations of them are very on par with how they are irl.

ive seen some criticisms as im sure youre aware.... but idk. certain characterizations belong in certain stories. i wouldnt expect dream and george in sadf to be moping and sad all the time. and i wouldnt expect them to be singing fortnite songs in their heads in a fic that has a more somber tone. also think that sadf is more approachable (idk if that's the right word) to a wider audience because not all readers are prepared to read a fic with dark themes, regardless of how well its written. sadf tackles complex emotions and circumstances in a humorous and easily digestible way. it doesn't take a heavy emotional toll to read. it's light despite the content and length.

sorry if this ask is unwarranted and not well received. i really love sadf and I think what you've accomplished is really commendable:)

NOOOO U FUCKING GET IT U GET ME U UNDERSTAND… its like silly!!! it’s crack and a joke but also i write it all unironically like u GET who i am and im really just a silly man but also i have deep psychological problems . and YEAH . i wanted sadf to be fun i wanted it to be fun and appealing to people and i wanted it to be easy to read for people like me <- gaydhds

also yeah. i know exactly what ur talking about i know i got haters ! but that always happens when u detract from what others do and get celebrated for it. i didn’t change the landscape of dnf fanfiction or anything but i know that i wrote something that a lot of people found joy in, and just because some people think im not fake deep enough about it means nothing to me. i do not care for the opinions of those i do not respect. and quite frankly some people who also write dnf that think they’re above sadf or whatever prob write dnf like they’re ocs. or they do cringe shit but think they’re so right about it and throw a hissy fit when people point it out. i know what i am i know who i am and i like it. we can all either focus on celebrating what we’re passionate about or we can focus on tearing down people who didn’t do anything to us

[dapandapod]

Jaskier needs a hug

Honestly, @the-glorious-half-pints-twin, this started out as your prompt and morphed into something else. Im intending to write your prompt more properly because it’s super cute ang got Soft Potential that I crave.

But this is not what brain did today, so this is looooooosely based on your prompt, with another on it’s way. 

In the mean time, please have goofy random cuddles with a Dramatic Jaskier and Geralt with.. kind of a sense of humor?

Anyway, please enjoy!   On Aoe here!

                                                      ~~*~~ 

It’s been weeks. Months. Years.

Yes, Jaskier is dramatic, what do you want?! Point is, Jaskier needs a hug. Just a hug. Arms around him, or his arms around somewhere else. He isn’t fuzzy, but frankly, there isn’t too much to hug around these parts. 

All the good ladies are taken (it’s not much of a problem but Geralt uses that unhappy frown on him for days if he goes for it), most of the men lack most of their teeth (not really required for hugging, but that is usually not their only problem) and in general, most people he met wanted hugs to go somewhere behind closed doors.

Not that Jaskier minds, but he really, really just wants a hug.

What’s left in options is various monsters, trees, Roach and that one Witcher that accompanies her. Yes, he is talking about Geralt, keep up. 

Monsters, depending on the kind, would probably give him a great hug. Only once though, because he would likely die from it. To be honest, the trees weren't so bad. The trick is to choose correctly, and when Geralt comes looking for him he claims he is lost. It worked twice, after that Geralt tied a rope around his middle to keep him from straying. If he tries to hug Roach he will meet one out of two outcomes. If not both.

Roach will bite him. Or Geralt will bite him. 

And that likely applies if Jaskier actually would work up the nerve to actually try to hug that giant frown of a man.

So yes, Jaskier is grumpy, Jaskier is dramatic, and Jaskier wallows in these two moods and expresses it like an artform. Drapes it around his being like a fashionable cape. Swirls it around himself as he turns, dazzling all around him with grump and drama.

He really doesn’t expect Geralt to pick up the root of the problem. That might not even be what is going in, but three days into moping (because let’s be honest, that’s what this is) Geralt tires of the entire thing.

They are watering Roach just a little way off the main road. Jaskier is sighing loudly, kicking at the leaves and high grass and anything that happens to stick up.

He still has the rope around the middle, courtesy of his latest try to hug a tree, and suddenly there is a tug.

“Stop.”

Tug.

“Quit it.”

Tug tug.

“Fucking… What?? Geralt??” Jaskier turns around, all flare, to give Geralt a taste of that glare he may or may not try to be copying from said witcher.

There is this really tacky dance move Jaskier has seen at very very late night festivals. When one person refuse to dance, and the other pretends to pull at a rope to bring them to the dancefloor.

Picture this, but nobody is dancing and there is actually a rope.

Geralt is pulling Jaskier closer, looking all serious and stone faced and how else you wish to describe that dumb dumb face of his.

“What are you- Why?! What are you doing?” Jaskier doesn’t struggle, but he doesn’t really cooperate either. Just like that dance move he ends up being dragged over to Geralt.

They stand only an arms width away from each other, Roach moved from the creek to graze at the grass, ignoring them completely.

Jaskiers pulse speeds up. Last time Geralt asked him to come closer and Jaskier blindly complied, he earned himself a punch in the gut. On the other hand, this time Geralt physically pulled him closer.

Should he...possibly.. maybe try to hug Geralt?

Before he gets the chance to try, Geralt grabs his shoulders with both hands and looks at him gravely.

“Jaskier.”

“Yes?”

“You stink.”

And toss him straight into the creek.

It’s not very deep, but it’s enough to completely soak him as he falls face first. He swallows one big mouthful of muddy water, he spits and coughs with loud protests and moaning.

“THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME SMELL BETTER?! ARE YOU DAFT?!” 

He rises from the creek like a water hag, water dripping from all of his expensive clothes. He marches straight up to Geralt, heart set on revenge.

Yeah, Geralt weighs a ton. Have you seen the guy? He is huge, and even if he isn’t traveling in his armor it is impossible to get a good grip. Geralt is entirely too good at steering off attacks.

Fine.

Jaskier doesn’t fear death.

So he marches straight back into that creek.

Falls into it, hugs it if you will, and turns around again all soaking wet.

Take aim.

Launch.

And throws himself at Geralt. Not in the intent of trying to push Geralt in the water, but with the intent to bring as much water on Geralt as he can. Like a sponge.

Either Geralt did not anticipate this course of action, or he accepted it. Kind of.

There is some slapping and flailing but then Jaskier presses himself against Geralt's side, wrapping his arms around his chest and clenching that stupid (and STINKY, Geralt! Take a bath!!) tunic and soaking it as best he can.

“Hah!” Jaskier is so pleased with himself, he throws a leg around Geralt and dries himself off like a dog on grass, rubbing his hair and face against Geralt's shoulder.

So it takes him a moment to realize that Geralt is laughing.

He stops, looks up in wonder. No, not looking, staring. Geralt is laughing, throwing his head back that gives him that adorable little double chin. 

Jaskier doesn’t let go.

Of course not. This is way better than hugging a tree. 

“Done moping now? Idiot.” Geralt puts a hand on his forehead and shoves him off. Jaskier is too busy staring at that smile to struggle. There are wet patches on his tunic so Geralt takes it off in a smooth motion.

“What do you say, we make camp here for today? Wash our clothes and clean up? I'm sure they will put away the pitchforks in the village if we don’t announce ourselves by smelling. ...Uh. Earth to Jaskier? Hellooo?” 

Jaskier is not done staring. Smiles and bare chest will do that to a man. But he closes his mouth at least, so that is an improvement.

It takes a few minutes to get his brain functions back.

During that time Geralt takes off Roaches gear and she goes a bit further away to find more tasty things to eat.

They actually get around to bathe and clean their clothes. They bask in the warm sun, laying in the grass and just enjoy the nature around them and each other's company.

Jaskier seeking revenge probably doesn’t count as a hug, but he will take it. It feels a bit better and he is ready to hang the Cloak of Dramatics on the rack for a while and just enjoy the moment.

But again, Geralt surprises him.

As they prepare for settle in for the night, rolling out their bedrolls (with a respectable distance, thank you very much) Geralt sits against a tree and leans back.

Again, Geralt tugs him closer. This time by the tunic that he got to borrow, pulling him straight down between Geralt's knees and capturing him in a bear hug. 

Two hugs. In one day.

“Uh… Geralt?”

Jaskier doesn’t dare to move, not daring to wrap his arms around the witcher. They are chest to chest, Geralt holding him in an iron grip.

“Yes?” Geralt mutters, holding him just a little closer.

“Are you.. Why are you hugging me?”

It feels like his chest is swelling three sizes, a tingling sensation spreading through his limbs, closely followed by a warmth. 

“I'm not.”

It’s Jaskiers time to chuckle.

“Oh really?”

“Mmhm.”

Geralts offers up absolutely nothing, but Jaskier now dares to let his arms circle around Geralt's shoulder with a soft sigh. Not the restless, dramatic and grumpy kind that he did before, but a content exhale. 

“I really needed this.” Jaskier admits to Geralt's shoulder There is no way he is telling Geralt, he has been behaving really badly today.

“No shit. I absolutely didn’t notice you hugging everything in your immediate vicinity.” Geralt drawls sarcastically. 

Geralt's warm, callused hand finds its way under Jaskiers tunic. Little electric sparks climbing up his spine and he buries his head in Geralt's neck.

Up until this very point, this could very much be something one friend does for another.

Still could be.

But also not.

And if there is one thing Jaskier wouldn’t mind, it’s that. 

Only, he is afraid it will go away if he points it out. 

Jaskier has seen it one too many times before.

And Geralt is the one person he does not wish to lose. His heart is beating hard, with every breath he takes in the (now much better) smell of his friend, breathing him in deep.

“Are you sniffing me?” Shit.

“No.” Jaskier says and yelps when Geralt pinches his side.

“Fine, fucking… yes. So what. You smell good.”

Geralt falls weirdly quiet and Jaskier has time to have a small internat panic attack and prepare to be shoved away.

“You can sniff me if you want.” Geralt says quietly.

They are stock still in each other's arms. It’s an odd thing to do, an odd thing to say. Jaskier finally caves and pushes his face a little deeper in the crook of Geralt's neck.

Geralt's hands climb higher over Jaskiers' back, and he leans his head against Jaskiers.

“You smell good too.” Jaskier almost dies. “Well. Now you do. Before the bath, not so much.”

“Fuck you.” Jaskier chuckles.

“Nah. Would be real awkward in the morning.” Geralt says, and again they both freeze. Yeah, this is one weird night.

They don’t say anything more after this. Just sits there under the tree, listening to the evening birds and Roachs munching in the distance. 

And if they pulled their bedrolls closer together, and slept with their legs tangled, and woke up too warm curled together, that is just what friends do for each other when you feel lonely.

Probably not.

But that is not a conversation they are ready to have.

For now, there are only hugs.