#it’s from a few months ago that’s probably why…
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Pregnancy cravings
Farmer!Sukuna’s masterlist
Farmer!Sukuna thought dealing with your pregnancy cravings would be a walk in the park. I mean, come on, you two are basically self sufficient: he’s literally a farmer, what could you possibly crave that he doesn’t already have planted or stored?
Your cravings hit at the start of your second trimester. You’re barely showing, and probably the fact that nothing you eat stays in your stomach for more than two hours isn’t helping your case.
It’s winter and it’s snowing: your fields are currently covered in snow, your chickens are huddled up in their coop, your cows are sleeping in their heated stable… and you? You’re reading a book right in front of your fireplace. Sukuna gets home with his arms full of logs to keep the fire alive all night. He sets them on the ground before plopping down next to you with snow clinging to his hair.
“Get off, your nose is cold,” you mumble, pushing him away when he tries to give you a kiss. He raises one of his eyebrows, kissing you on the cheek either way (two times, to spite you). You let out a dramatic whine.
He chuckles, ruffling his hair and wetting your book’s pages with a couple of snowflakes. Annoyed, you roughly close the book, and turn around to give him a piece of your mind, just to find yourself wrapped in his arms.
“I said get off,” you repeat, softer, leaning in despite your words. His body heat is doing a better job than the fire at thawing the chill from your limbs.
“And I don’t care,” he replies nonchalantly. He kisses your temple, cocooning you deeper into him by opening his legs and tucking you into the space in front of him. You grumble something unintelligible.
“How are the only two people I can stand doing today?” He asks you, rocking you side by side. Seeing you pregnant makes him feel uncomfortably soft. And seeing you pregnant with his child? Oh god.
“I want ice cream.”
He stops.
“Huh?”
“More like your offspring wants ice cream,” you sniffle from under his jaw.
“I don’t think we have any in the freezer,” he responds, looking you in the eyes. Your lip starts wobbling.
“But I want it,” you brokenly say, trying to swallow your sobs. His heart clenches.
“I don’t think you’ll be able to have it today,” he says, and immediately regrets it when your eyes well up with tears.
“C’mon, don’t cry now, it’s just ice cream,” he tries to comfort you. Apparently he does a horrible job, because you start bawling.
“But I want it! And I hate that I want it so bad! You know how much I hate playing the weak and fragile woman part, why are you being mean?” you wail, shoving him away and getting up. You quickly go to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, the duvet that was covering you mere seconds ago acting as your cloak.
“No, babe, I’m not-“
You snap your head back angrily, levelling him with a hostile glare. “Yes you are! You’re being mean when it’s your fault I’m like this!” You motion to your body.
“Actually, you begged for it, wife,” he shrugs, a corner of his mouth lifting. He doesn’t expect the punch you throw at his chest.
“Don’t ever come near me again,” you seethe, drinking your water and flying up the stairs. He sighs, rubbing his temples, wincing when he hears you sniffle again.
After ten minutes he knocks on your bedroom door- the same one you not-so-gracefully threw in his face.
“C’mon. Get out,” he grits out. Who knew dealing with a pregnant woman would strip him of the little patience he still has left?
“No. You value me less than ice cream.”
He sighs. “What can I do t’ make you forgive me?” He hears the soft pit pat of your sock-clad feet on the floor before the door creaks open. From the last few months, he'd say your mood swing should be finished by now.
You gently lower the handle, looking at his condescending espression. Then you sag your shoulder, gazing at the floor.
"You big crybaby. C'mere," he smirks, opening his arms. You bury your head in his shoulder, and he pats your hair mockingly.
"I still want ice cream, though," you mumble.
"I'll go get it at the city right now if ya stop crying," he chuckles. He widens his eyes, realizing that... he caught himself too late.
You abruptly step back. He winces.
"And you'd leave me here all alone?! Why don't you love me anymore?!"
#farmer au#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna jjk#jjk x y/n#jjk fics#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic
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Not a wip, but nevertheless a bit of writing for this sunday wip
Wilmon AU where Simon and Wille, well known singer and actor, have been in a relationship for a while now. Everything is going so well, Simon couldn't be happier about how things are going. They're public now, which had been quite a bit stressful at first, but everything is surprisingly going smoothly. Or as smoothly as things can go.
One day, one of Wille's managers, an annoying man named August whom Simon cannot stand -and the feeling is mutual- talks to Simon about how well Wille's stats are now, and how they probably won't even have to keep dating for long. Simon doesn't understand, because what the fuck is August even talking about, until he does understand.
His relationship with Wille is, apparently, a PR one. A very one-sided PR one, but a PR one nonetheless. Could he BE such a full that he wouldn't see if his boyfriend was only there for PR? But what about all the time they spend together? About the way Wille looks at him, and touches him? About Simon meeting his family, and Wille meeting his?
Simon confronts Wille a few days later, hoping this is just August pulling some twisted lies. It's not. Wille is a good actor, good enough to have lied his way through the last months, but he's not good enough to hide this from Simon anymore, not when he now knows what to look for. He doesnt Wait to listen to Wilhelm explain himself.
Simon spends the next while locked in at home, alternating between crying in bed and writing angsty songs. He's got a good breakup album recorded on his phone, and he knows he could have a few hits in there, but he doesn't think he wants to put them out, to admit so publicly to Wilhelm ho much of a fool Simon is, how in love he had been.
Sara sends him a link one day. No other messages, just a link. He clicks on it, finding an article about how Actor Wilhelm has broken ties with family agency. What will happen to him next? Click more to find out. Simon hates himself for the way he clicks so fast, and for the way his heart beats faster when he sees Wille's face.
It's a video of a radio interview. One that looks recent, Wille's hair shorter than Simon has ever seen. In the video, he explains why he has cut ties with the family business. It's a very vague explanation, but it has to do with diverging values. Wille continues, then explaining that he took his decision months ago when he ended up hurting someone he particularly love. Simon exits the video, can't listen to Wille talk anymore. It's been so long, and Simon still loves him so much even through all the pain.
He texts Sara back, cursing her for sending him that link. There's a knock on his door before she can answer.
He finds Wille on the other side, looking all windswept and regretful. Simon shuts the door on his face before opening it up again, squinting at his ex.
They talk, because Simon is so sick of feeling sad over this, so sick of hating himself for having fallen for a liar. Even if Wille claims he had never lied, had jumped on the opportunity to meet Simon when his management had brought forth the idea of PR relationship, but had never seen Simon as anything else than the love of his life. Simon doesn't really believe him, but Wille does look particularly regretful and he did quit his management.
They start texting again. It's slow and quite impersonal at first, and then they meet, once. Except once turn into twice and into more, and slowly but surely, they're spending most of their free time together.
It takes him longer to trust Wille again, to trust him when he says that Simon is still the love of his life. But Wille gives him space and doesn't make a move, which is good because Simon can't do this again, can't get fooled for a second time. Until it isn't enough anymore, and he kisses Wille good bye one night when other man is going back home after a movie night at Simon's.
Simon's next album is about the love of his life, yet again, but this one is much happier. He doesnt know how the last one would have charted, but he has many hits in this one.
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1 Day in Purgatory:
Hey Cas.
Kind of a dick move to ditch me like that, you son of a bitch.
But seriously, thanks for protecting me. You coulda stayed, though. I ain’t as weak as all that. I’ve fought off a few freaks already.
How’s it going for you? Must’ve killed dozens of them by now, huh?
I never cared much for this praying thing. A little too one-sided for my taste.
I missed it when we could talk on the phone. That way, I could actually hear you back.
So, uh…night, I guess.
1 Week in Purgatory:
Heya Cas —Time flies when you’re running for your life, right? It seems that way to me.
It feels like it's been a week, but in some ways, it feels like it's been longer than that.
How many have you killed? I’ve killed about a dozen or so. I feel like John McClane. Or I guess Rambo, just need the headband and machine gun.
Oh, right. You wouldn’t get who I’m talking about. I need to get you to start watching movies.
So, are you alright? I hope you are. That you’re safe.
Don’t worry, Cas. I’m gonna find you. I promise.
1 Month in Purgatory:
Cas, it’s me. See, this whole praying thing—one of the reasons I don’t care for it is its one-sidedness. I never know if you’re listening to me or just tuning me out and ignoring me. Kind of hurtful, just saying. Given how many times I've prayed to you, I feel like I’m owed a response at some point.
Ever since meeting you, I’ve never prayed more. I guess it’s cuz I learned long ago that you don’t just wait for someone to save you—that’s how you die. Usually, you gotta take your life into your own hands and fight for it with all you got. That's how I learned to survive.
Anyway, I met this vampire. His name is Benny. He’s the first thing in this hellhole that hasn’t automatically tried to eat me. Apparently, he knows a way outta here. We’ll see if that isn’t total bullshit. He’s with me right now. I know, I know. Trusting a vamp? What am I thinking? But it’s better than being alone, stuck with only my thoughts worrying over you.
I hope you’re okay. Please be okay.
I’m gonna find you, Cas. I ain’t leaving here without you.
6 Months in Purgatory:
I've lost count of how many days I've been stuck here. But I ain't leaving you, Cas. Why do you keep running away, huh? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me. The lack of response ain't helping. Sucks that this is a one-way line.
As gnarly as this place is, though, it's simpler than Earth. Black and white. Haven't been able to see things like that in a while. It's pure in a way. I fight monsters. Don't have much time to think or do much else. Rest and fight, that's it. Fighting’s what I'm best at anyway.
I miss Earth. I miss Sam. Drinking, fooling around and driving. Sam better be looking after my Baby.
But this place is pure, that’s for sure.
Don't have to worry about nothing else but fighting off monsters. It's been a long time since my life has been so simple. No offense Cas, but meeting you made my life so complicated.
Where are you, man?
You know, when I settle down somewhere quiet, I get restless, but there ain't no room for that here. I hate it here, but I don't. I hate it cuz these hungry sons of bitches don't let up.
I hate it cuz you keep running from me, and I can never catch you.
But I like the woods, the quiet. It's unnerving and peaceful at the same time. Well, it would be if not for all the monsters. Maybe I should get a cabin of my own someday…
You know, if I ever catch up to you, we'll make quite a team. These mooks won't stand a chance: you, me and Benny.
9 Months in Purgatory:
You probably know how long we've been here in Purgatory land, right, Cas? You've always been smart like that. You'd have to be, as old as you are.
How old are you, anyhow? As old as the dinosaurs? Were they real? I never bothered to ask. I should’ve asked you. I should’ve asked you so many things...
Remember when you took me out to see the stars? How d’you know I'd like that shit, huh? And that beer? I've been on the lookout for it ever since you turned me onto it. Apparently, they only sell it in Oregon.
Why'd you do that for me, Cas? Were you feeling guilty about Crowley, then? Or did you just wanna do something nice for me? No one ever does that shit for me…not like that.
Why did you say that shit to the other angels? The crap about not being able to live in a world where I'm gone?
You know I'm only human, right? Someday, I'm gonna die. Never pay it much mind. I know I don't got long though. Hunters never do. My dad bit it at 52. Bobby died at 62. I'm lucky if I last that long. Given the shit I've gotten mixed up in the last couple of years, I'm lucky if I make it past forty.
I'm only still around cuz of you, Cas. Look at how we met. You found me in Hell. I was twenty-nine then. If you hadn't gotten me outta there, I might have stayed there forever. Dead at 29. Ain't that sad?
So why did you say it, Cas?
What am I to you?
Aren't we just friends?
I don't know. I guess you could say what we got is unique. It's hard enough for me to make friends as it is, but the way we met was…fucked up.
I don't let people see me, Cas. That ain't a luxury I got. I can't be weak – ever. But you met me at my worst. That's part of the reason you fucked me up the way you did when you walked into that barn. You were this otherworldly being I coulda sworn was made up, and you knew all this shit about me. You didn't say so, but I knew, like, instinctively.
Shit, I've been praying for a while now, huh…
You must be so ticked off. Well, that's what you get for ditching me in the first place.
Good night, Cas. I'm gonna find you.
Soon.
For anyone who was curious about the prayers Dean might’ve made to Cas during their time in Purgatory, my imagination got away from me 😅
Source: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61591894/chapters/157467775
#fic preview#purgaytory#praying to cas#deancas#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#angst#supernatural season 8#spn fic#spn fanfic#spn fanfic series
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Dangerous Gym Session(Arsenal WomenXRussoReader)
Warnings: diabetes Type 1, struggles with Body image, b*llying, mental health struggles, Google translate used.
Summary: you play for Arsenal just like your sister older sister Lessi.a Gym Session doesn't go as planned.
You were in the Gym, feeling lightheaded & your body was hurting. you realized that your blood sugar was dropping way too late.
So you quickly had two juice boxes. Hoping that it would do the trick. Spoiler alert, it didn't help! Which was why you were lying on the floor of the Gym right now. Trying to get through the pain. Cause you felt really sick. The other girls walked into the Gym , Kyra was the first one to notice you on the floor. "Less! Y/n needs help!" She answered and ran over to you. Alessia right behind her. Quickly followed by the rest of the Team.
"y/n?!cosa c'è che non va?(What's wrong?)" She asked you. You whimpered softly.
"sono basso(i am low)!" You told her. Leah helped you to sit up while Alessia held her phone against your sensor, which showed her how low your blood sugar was. She quickly handed you two more juice boxes from her own bag. She always had some in there for you. Some other Girls from the team were watching with worry written across their faces.
Norah who was entering the gym just now saw you on the floor and ran over. Norah was your teammate and secret girlfriend. Norah was a Goalkeeper for the team. She joined Arsenal two years ago.
"Babe! What's wrong?" She asked and kneeled down in front of you.
"i might have overworked myself without noticing how bad my blood sugar was!" You admitted. Then you looked at the Team and their surprised faces. You and Norah never told anyone about your relationship.
"did you just call y/n Babe?" Katie asked trying to wrap her head around this. You took Norahs Hand, squeezing it gently.
"i knew it." Kyra said, she always thought there was something going on between you and Norah.
"she did. we are together for two months now! It's still really new so we didn't tell anyone." You replied.
"okay we can go back to that relationship later. but what do you mean? Like when will you start listening to your body? Not checking your blood sugar and not listening to your Pump going Off? Like that's dangerous. So why didn't you Check?"Alessia wanted to know. You were biting down on your bottom lip.
"i am sorry! I was just so focused on working out!" You told her. Which was kind of true. but also not. There were some comments about your weight and performance and none of the ones that stuck in your head were anything but terrible. You may be an adult and 22 years old but that didn't mean you were doing well with bullying.
"Babe, what's going on?" Norah asked cause she knew that was not the entire truth. Everyone could tell that there was more to the story and Katie somehow had the brilliant idea to Check under your social Media Posts. Reading all the comments talking about how you have put on some weight and that's probably why you are not as fit as you used to be.
"i think i know!" Katie told the Team and handed Norah her Phone, to show her the comments. Katie looked pissed. So did Norah.
"y/n, those comments are bullshit. and you are a diabetic. Having fluctuations in your weight is part of it. That doesn't change the fact that you are an amazing Athlete and your performance on the field is amazing! Don't let them get to you!" Katie told you. Alessia frowned when she was shown the comments as well.
"this Is what happened? You know you depend on checking your blood sugar. Your life literally depends on that in fact!" Alessia wanted to know. You looked away. Because If your sister didn't look stressed before she sure did now. Stressed and sad. Norah squeezed your hand gently.
"Baby you are perfect the way you are! You are an amazing Athlete and the people who write stuff like that are just Jealous of your talent." Norah told you and the others agreed. A few nodded their head in agreement. Some even spoke up.
"Imagine you starting to feel that way while Lifting weights. That's so dangerous,y/n!" Beth told you.
You look at your teammates and then at your Sister. "I am sorry Guys! Deep down i know all of this. But sometimes These comments still get to me! I am already talking to the therapists about it! So they know!" You explained to them. Referring to the therapists that are part of the staff at Arsenal.
"it's good that you are talking to them about it! But all of us still gonna keep an extra eye on you. more then we already did before! Cause we really care about you!" Caitlin replied.
"that's fair!" You admitted.
"non spaventarmi più così!(don't scare me like that again)" Your sister said.
" non lo farò(i won't)." You replied. Giving her a small smile. She hugged you and you hugged her back while Norah checked with her Phone how your blood sugar was. Which thankfully was going back to normal.
Practice finally started when Reneé showed up and Leah had informed her what just happened so she also kept an extra eye on you.
You felt quite lucky that the team was there for you and cared so much about you! You could always count on them. Which did help with your feelings.
#arsenal women x reader#wosoxreader#alessia russo x russo reader#leah williamson x reader#katie mccabe x reader#oc x reader#beth mead x reader#kyra cooney crossxreader#caitlin foord x reader
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Chapter 12
Forever falls Apart
A/N: I know I promised not to disappear for months again, but hey, I finished first semester of university with straight A's, so that's a win😅 This is a long ass one!
We are on the highway to hell for the next 2-3 chapters, I LOVE YOU GUYS THO
P. S. Mind you, I'm on my third rewatch of Glee while writing this
[Lil' guide: the divided parts are flashbacks, and the things said in "this format" are !SPOILER! 's voice echoing.]
Taglist: @kiraflowersworld @vainillasmil157 @bookloverfilmoholic @so-get-this-sammy @ell0ra-br3kk3r @hufflepuffprincessbabe @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bitterspoons @wonderland2425 @noorie101
Fear has a habit of altering even the sanest of minds. It's like a disease, a plague that clouds your every thought until you are nothing but a mere semblance of the person you were before. It can cloud any reasonable logic you have, making you act irrationally.
And it can make you completely useless. Frozen like a statue. Disconnected from reality. Indifferent to what's happening around you. Trapped with your thoughts. Speechless.
Kaz stood and watched as Y/N fell from the sky, leaving a pool of blood where she sank into the sea. He watched as he waited for her to come up and wave to them, probably cursing about the cold water and her wet clothes. He waited, and waited, and waited, but she never emerged. Her voice was ringing in his ears.
"Promise me, Kaz. If I show symptoms of an addiction, promise me you won't give any jurda to me. Even if it means I'll die."
Kaz felt the urge to throw up. He held onto the railing of the ship with all his might, no doubt that his knuckles were turning white under the gloves. His heart was beating loudly in his ears, making him deaf to anything else.
The feeling came suddenly and Kaz feared he was going to drown in it. His breathing became rigid as he tried to keep any ounce of control he had left in him.
"We are soldiers."
Kaz blinked and out of nowhere Jesper and Inej were looking at him, terrified. Why was Jesper completely wet? How long was he standing there? Did they found her? Or has the sea claimed her forever?
"She won't wake up," Jesper told him with a trembling voice, tears burning his eyes. Matthias was taking off his fur, while Nina began the chest compression, using her powers to restart her heart.
Her hands were already covered in blood.
Inej and Wylan stood a few steps away from them, their eyes full of horror. Kaz saw the people around him speak, but the sounds didn't reach his ears.
Oh.
"If it comes down to it, let me die. Don't let me suffer. Please, Kaz, promise me."
That suffocating feeling returned much stronger, and it made Kaz unable to speak. He couldn't look away from the limp body that was holding him mere minutes ago. The bile rose in his throat, but Kaz refused to throw up. He felt sick, and all he could think of was the fact that now Y/N was just another one of the cold bodies that were suffocating him.
Kaz felt like his heart could stop any second, but he was physically unable to take his eyes off of her. Every attempt Nina made at reuscitating Y/N felt like a twist to the knife in his chest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Will you ever tell me-"
"Y/N." She interrupted him and for a second Kaz just looked at her, utterly confused.
"What?" He asked, but the girl just smiled back at him.
"You were going to ask my name. It's Y/N." Kaz only nodded, but he was already testing her name in his mind. Y/N. Y/N. He found it way too casual a name for someone like her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a muffled sound coming from next to him. Someone was trying to speak to him. Kaz didn't know who it was, and he didn't really care either. Y/N was dying. Or was she already dead? Should he go over to her? Check her pulse? Make sure she's alive? For that to happen, Kaz would've had to move and touch her skin.
Cold. Numb. Red. Void of any sign of life.
"I will march with you in times of war."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Do it." Kaz demanded on a quiet voice, but Y/N just giggled. "No." Kaz asked again as he leaned heavily on his cane, visibly drunk. "Y/N, pleaseee."
"Absolutely not. Now get inside," she told him, pointing to the open door of his room. Kaz shook his head and tried to keep his face neutral, but his blown pupils betrayed his inebriated state.
Y/N rolled her eyes, but a laugh escaped her. "This is the last time I turned into a cat while you're drunk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cold. She must be feeling cold.
Kaz's movements were rigid, like he didn't even process what he was doing as he took his coat off and walked closer to Y/N's body on the floor. Then he stopped as if rethinking his decision, when he raised his gaze and noticed Jesper and Inej sobbing.
His first thought was that something must be really wrong if Jesper was uncontrollably sobbing. Jesper was an emotional person, but Kaz had never seen him cry, not even once.
To see him nearly choke on his own tears felt wrong to Kaz.
He looked at his coat in his hands, gripping the fabric so tight he might as well could've tore it apart. Kaz tried to control his erratic breathing, but it was harder and harder to do, the longer he kept staring at Y/N's body. The only color she had left was her own blood coating her. Kaz lowered the coat in his hand. She won't need it anymore.
Kaz felt the stares from the others, but he didn't dare look at them. He couldn't. How could he? He knew the kind of look they were giving him. Sadness. Grief. Pity. More pity. More sadness. He didn't need it. He didn't need their pity, he needed Y/N.
His Y/N. His best friend. His wife. Them staring at him with pitiful looks won't bring her back.
"I will rest with you in times of peace."
Kaz could still feel the way she was grabbing onto him on the tank. How she was holding him like he would disappear if she didn't. And after she ripped herself away from him, for one fleeting second, Kaz could see the guilt in her eyes.
That one second was already haunting him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was standing so close to him, Kaz could almost feel her heart beating. He looked at her like she was going to disappear if he didn't.
Her eyes had a faint glint in them from all the candles that she lit earlier. Kaz raised a hand to cup the side of her face and when she gently leaned into his touch, Kaz let out a gasp of breath he didn't even realize he was holding.
Y/N just smiled at him, and Kaz decided then and there he was going to change.
For the better, for Jordie…and for her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He turned away from them. He felt his eyes burning and Kaz knew if he didn't leave, he was going to break down in front of them, no matter how strong his self-control was.
This was his breaking point. Losing his brother, the only family he had left, was like a death sentence to him. He couldn't go a day without something reminding him of his absence.
Then Kaz stumbled upon Y/N. Or rather, she stumbled upon him. She was annoying and too talkative, always making some noise and seeking Kaz's company whenever he was in the same room as her. Kaz did everything to avoid her, but she was persistent and eventually Kaz got used to her constant presence. He would've never admitted it, but sometimes he asked for her companion on purpose. Although he always had a made-up excuse for it.
Kaz stepped away from them, slowly, as if he was in a daze. In a way he was. His mind kept replaying every moment they spent together. Wether it was the two of them, or a mission, or just another night at the Crow Club. Every single interaction they had ever since they have met ran through his mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"No matter how hard I try to erase you from my mind, you sneak back in by simply existing. It's… frustrating," Kaz said as he dragged himself to his feet, every fiber of his being drenched in the harbor's water.
Then he looked at her, and he felt his heart stop at the way she was looking at him, like he was something worth looking at.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a gentle tap on his shoulder and Kaz aggressively hit the hand away, not even looking at who it was. He kept walking, not really knowing where. The chamber? The bottom of the ship? Back to her? Should he sit down? Should he continue with the plan? He would have to create a new one, without…her.
"I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return."
Kaz didn't plan this far. He didn't plan for this, because he was sure he was going to be the one to die. His death seemed most likely to happen. Not hers. Ghezen, not her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raffiel's fiancé stood near Kaz, watching him with a suspicious gaze. Kaz didn't know what to make of it, so he turned to her with a questioning look.
"You're just another fool under that cold exterior." She said with a faint smile as she watched Kaz look back and stare at Y/N.
"Watch out, Brekker. You look like you're falling."
I think I already did, Kaz thought to himself as he left the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What was he supposed to tell her family? What was he supposed to say to her brother, when he left basically saying she was going to come home, and not him? What was going to happen when Raffiel saw Kaz return, without her?
He would probably beat Kaz until he's nothing but a sack of bones and meat. Or shapeshift into a wolf, or a dog, or something predatory and tear him limb from limb. Kaz would take the punishment gladly. He decided that if Raffiel attacked him, he will let him.
There was another tap on his shoulder, but it was harsher, urging him to look at them. Kaz refused to, even when they stepped in front of him and began shouting at him. The closeness of the other person finally made Kaz look up, only to see Jesper's tear stained face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bottle was already half empty when Kaz finally decided to sign the papers. The papers he specifically asked for. With every signature, he took another sip from the glass. He finished the bottle too quickly for his liking. Everytime he wrote the name down, a part of him wanted to burn the papers, but the other part stopped himself from doing so. He told himself he was only being cautious, that this was the rational thing to do. But deep down Kaz knew that it would take all of his strength to control himself and not run to Y/N. The wedding ring was practically burning in his pocket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaz got lost in his thoughts again, and Jesper desperately tried to make him understand what he was saying. As he took in the empty look in Kaz's eyes, Jesper felt like he was talking to a ghost, rather than a human person. He never could read the emotions on Kaz's face, but this time it felt as if Kaz was drained of every emotion. Jesper could see it in his eyes that Kaz's mind was elsewhere, somewhere far away from the present.
"I have seen you change at the bottom of the world."
"For fuck's sake Kaz, are you even listening to me?!" Kaz heard Jesper shout into his face, and he looked at him. Jesper still didn't know if Kaz was actually hearing his words, but he kept speaking once again. "She's breathing Kaz. She's alive." He said and felt himself tear up again.
Kaz only looked back at him with slightly furrowed brows. Internally he was confused. Why was Jesper saying this? Why is he lying to him? Was this his way of trying to…console him? He didn't need consolation. Didn't need their pity.
Jesper's words made Kaz feel like someone just punched him after a fight, right before shooting him. Jesper must've noticed his confusion, because he looked into Kaz's eyes, not breaking eyecontact, hoping Kaz would finally understand him.
"She. Is. Alive." Jesper's words were firm, not leaving room for discussion. Kaz turned visibly confused, but Jesper just repeated his words. Kaz grew more and more confused, as Inej walked up to them. Kaz was glancing between the two of them, his brows furrowed, the confusion turning into irritation.
"Nina is taking care of her. She's too weak, but she's breathing." Inej informed him, but then her expression turned softer. "Look at her, Kaz. She's alive." She nodded behind Kaz, where Nina was still crying, accompanied by a relieved smile.
Kaz was almost sure his own mind was playing tricks on him. A joke. This must be a cruel joke. He must have been in so much distress and shock that he began hallucinating. The floorboards swayed under him, but that could've been caused by the waves crashing against the ship. Either way, it felt like everything was spinning around him.
He became dizzy, and soon the familiar feeling of bile rising in his throat got his attention. Kaz focused so hard on trying not to empty the contents of his stomach that he didn't even notice when he was left alone.
His heart was beating too loud. Breathing felt impossible. There were multiple voices around him, muffled by his own heartbeat. His vision was blurry and the cane in his hand did nothing to help him walk. In just a few seconds, Kaz walked as far away as he could from the group, and when he was sure they couldn't see him, he leaned over the railing and threw up.
The cold wind did nothing to ease his nausea. Kaz felt like he was back on the barge, suffocating under the mountains of bodies. He closed his eyes to try and get a grip on himself, but as soon as he did, the image of Y/N falling from the sky replayed in his head. There was too much blood. She was covered in it.
"There is no one more loved by me Kaz Brekker, stubborn and unbreakable."
Her voice was the only thing Kaz was able to hear, and it felt like torture to him.
"Let me die."
The air was being sucked out of his lungs, and Kaz gripped the railing like his life depended on it.
"Please don't let me suffer."
There were footsteps around him and Kaz felt the presence of someone towering over him. He didn't even realize he was bending down, clutching at his chest, his breathing uncontrollable.
"Promise me, Kaz."
The anger grew in him rapidly. Her voice was haunting him. Kaz hated how easy it was to miss her, how he could recognize the change in her attitude just by her voice, how it took up space in his head, but most of all, he hated that the only thing he could think about in that moment was the fact that he was never going to hear her again.
"What about Death?"
"It takes more than death to get rid of me."
Kaz let out a humorless scoff. "Liar," he whispered to himself. Stubborn. Reckless. Convincing. She was probably the best liar Kaz had ever met, second only after him.
"In this life and the next."
Why couldn't it be this one? They just got married. Y/N just realized how to be herself, not despite, but with her power. Kaz was just at the beginning of his redemption. If saints and gods did exist, Kaz couldn't understand why they would let Y/N die.
Y/N died.
She was dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Y/N died. She's dead. Y/N is dead.
Dead.
At the edge of his vision Kaz glared at the sea like it was responsible for her death. Instead of blue, all he could see was red. The blood that coated her body. Blood, unfathomable amount of blood, that made it seem like she bathed in it.
How did she lose so much blood? Was there even that much in her? Kaz didn't know that much about biology or anatomy, but he knew losing so much blood was fatal.
Jesper and Inej shared concerned glances at Kaz's state. They retreated with a few steps after Kaz almost stabbed Jesper with the beak of his cane. His eyes were red, like he was holding back from crying, but despite that it seemed as if he was unaware of his surroundings. He would occasionally start to hyperventilate, only to abruptly stop and stare ahead of him, his mind being completely elsewhere.
The others didn't really know what to make of it, but Jesper and Inej, being the ones who knew him the longest outside of Y/N, they knew he was suffering internally. Kaz didn't really show his emotions, he wasn't the kind of person to express it outwardly. And for him to be so detached from reality that he didn't even hear what they were saying, for him to be completely locked inside his mind meant that he was overwhelmed. He was overwhelmed with his emotions and this was the only way he knew how to process the heavy load.
Jesper had an arm around Inej's shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. He was trying to muffle a sniffle, but Inej noticed it and looked up at him. "She's here, Jesper. She's still here with us," she tried to reassure him and Jesper looked up at the sky for a moment, sniffling.
"I just, I don't know what I would've done if she didn't make it." He let go of Inej to fidget with the rings on his fingers, hoping to ease his nerves. It didn't help.
"Nina doesn't know if she got affected by the jurda. She says she won't know anything until Y/N wakes up. I pray to the Saints she does," Inej told him and Jesper let out a weak scoff. "I think if she finds out I lost one of my guns, Y/N's going to bring herself out of a coma just to kick my ass." Jesper said it casually and it made Inej let out a soft laugh.
Kaz turned his head at the sound of their laugh. They weren't loud, their laugh was a quiet scoff at most, but still, it reached Kaz's ears. He looked at the two of them with such anger and disgust on his face, that for a second Jesper thought he was going to lash out at them.
He didn't. He kept staring back at them, and they could see the emotions change on his face. It turned from anger to detestation in mere seconds, and now both Jesper and Inej were waiting for Kaz to jump up and start a fight.
The hatred in his eyes shifted just as quickly as it appeared. It turned ito disappointment, raw and deep, and the unfiltered emotions he was showing made the guilt weigh heavy in their chest. Both of them knew how this must've looked from Kaz's view. He thought his wife was dead, and they were here, laughing, as if she was nothing to them.
"Kaz?" Jesper spoke first, trying to get a reaction from him, without triggering him to lash out. He looked back at them with the same glare, slowly getting up from the ground. His movements were predatory, and Jesper instinctively put a hand on his pistol, but with no real intention of using it.
He didn't know what to say. Kaz was standing in front of them, looking like he would burn them with his stare if he could. He took a slow step closer, the cane tapping against the floorboards with a loud click. Jesper finally understood how scary the sound of it actually was, especially in the silence. One wrong word or move, and Kaz was going to snap.
"Y/N is alive." Inej's voice was soft, but it had a firmness that made Kaz glance at her. She didn't break the eyecontact, guessing that Kaz was trying to decipher if she was lying or not. "Y/N is alive. She's injured, and Nina is taking care of her," she explained but the tension didn't leave Kaz's expression.
"She's going to be fine." Jesper added as positively as he could, despite his inner concern. Kaz seemed to be considering their words, still unsure if it was true or not. Jesper and Inej stood there, waiting for Kaz to process everything. Jesper almost let out a loud sigh of relief when the anger from Kaz's expression dissipated. He furrowed his brows as he looked back at them, utterly confused.
Poor Wylan decided to walk over to them at the wrong moment.
He was talking about what Kuwei just revealed about the jurda, and how it could affect Y/N, and the symptoms he noticed on her already. Kuwei stood next to Wylan, glancing at Kaz every two seconds, slightly scared of the way he was looking at them. He was right to feel scared, because Kaz was unusually silent. After Wylan quickly stopped talking, there was a few seconds of silence, where they were all just staring at Kaz, whose face was unreadable.
In three seconds Kaz was gripping the collar of Kuwei's shirt, slamming him down on the railing as if he was about to throw him into the sea. The beak of the crow was already at Kuwei's neck, keeping him from moving too much. His eyes were wide with terror as he looked into Kaz's violent gaze. It was like staring at a wild animal, that was ready to rip him limb from limb.
"Get off him, Kaz!" Jesper shouted and tried to get closer, but Kaz looked back at him with the same animalistic gaze and Jesper immediately stopped. He looked at Inej for help, while holding a hand out sigaling to Wylan to get behind him.
"Kaz, let him go. We need him alive." Inej managed to get to his side, ordering him sternly.
"I don't," Kaz replied, his voice lower than he realized. He loosened his grip on Kuwei, slightly lowering him over the railing. Kuwei began kicking for him to let go, but Kaz just tightened his hold on the silver crow at Kuwei's neck, drawing blood.
"He knows everything about the jurda. He could tell what side effects it might have on-," Wylan told him but he was quickly hushed by Jesper. "You've said enough already!" He ushered him further away from Kaz. Momentarily Kaz loosened his grip on the cane, glancing back where Wylan was standing. Wylan swallowed at the sight of the raw anger in Kaz's eyes.
That didn't stop him from speaking up again. Unfortunately for Wylan, he learned how to be confident at the worst possible moment. This time he really should've tried to be invisible instead of acting confident.
"Kuwei said it's still in her system, making it harder for Nina to heal her, because Y/N's shapeshifting might have made the injuries worse, than they were bef-," Before Wylan could process what was happening, Kaz had a hand around his face, forcing him to look up at him.
"Say it," Kaz seethed furiously, his hand tightening on Wylan's face, making his jaw hurt from the pressure.
"Say her name one more time Merchling, and they'll be uncovering your body for months," he whispered and Wylan tried to nod, but realized he couldn't because of the grip Kaz had on him. Kaz raised one of his brows as he loosened his grip, just enough for Wylan to nod fiercely. Kaz held him for a few more seconds before letting him go.
Four days.
Four damn days.
That's how long Kaz has been avoiding everything and everyone. Whenever one of them asked what the next step was when they got back, his reply was always the same. Stick to the original plan.
He was more like a ghost than a real person at this point. Jesper exchanged concerned looks with Inej, or Nina anytime he found Kaz staring at the horizon, unmoving. He couldn't wrap his head around why Kaz wasn't with you right now. They told him countless times that you were alive and breathing, that you did not die.
But it seemed Kaz was already convinced you were dead. In the past four days Jesper saw more emotion on Kaz than in the years he had known him. He didn't know wether to be concerned or relieved that Kaz was actually expressing what he was feeling.
He decided on the former. Kaz wasn't stable by any means. The emotions he showed weren't exactly positive. Anger, grief, irritation. These were the usual feelings he showed aside from his usual brooding mood.
They were walking on thin ice around him. Any word or movement could set him off and Kaz would take his feelings out on the object closest to him. The group hid most of the things around the ship, before even Specht decided he had enough of Kaz destroying everything.
After each crash out Kaz retreated to the side of the ship, staring out at the water for hours upon hours, once or twice even attempting to walk into the room Nina treated Y/N in. He always failed to do so. The furthest he got was two steps from the door. He couldn't find it in himself to actually look inside and see her.
He was convinced that once he looked, all he would be able to see was her corpse. Then he would realize the others were lying about her survival to keep him from going completely insane. Too late for that, he thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the fifth day Kaz finally willed himself to take those remaining two steps. The only reason he was able to do so was because everyone else was gathered around Nina, who was telling them tales from her childhood, trying to lighten everyone's spirits.
Obviously they didn't notice him slipping away from them. They didn't even know he was eavesdropping on them.
As Kaz stood in front of the door now, his couarge wavered. He would never admit it, probably not even to Y/N, but he never felt so anxious like in that moment. His hand was holding the doorknob for at least five minutes now, debating if he should enter or try again tomorrow.
What are the chances he could do this again? That there wouldn't be anyone to see him hesitate? How many more attempts have to be made before he finally steps inside?
Before he could talk himself out of it, he opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. At first, Kaz only looked around the dimly lit room, taking in the mess on the table. The first thing he focused on were the multiple clots thrown into a pile on one of the chairs. Bloody clots.
He was so focused on the blood, he didn't notice the movements on the small bed in the corner. He didn't even register the quiet noise, until a raspy voice interrupted his train of thoughts.
"Kaz?" The voice asked shakily, as if they had just woken up.
Kaz didn't turn to them immediately. He took a few seconds to pull himself together, before slowly, agonizingly slowly turned to look at the figure on the bed.
As soon as he looked into Y/N's eyes, Kaz crumbled.
He had to grab onto his cane along with the table so as not to fall to his kness. His legs trembled slightly anyways. The air was knocked from his lungs as he just... stared at her.
She was alive. She was breathing. She was here.
"Kaz?" She asked again, frowning a little when her movement caused her side to jolt in pain.
"Alive," Kaz mumbled under his breath, the words too muffled for Y/N to hear.
"What?" She asked tiredly, her voice no louder than a whisper as she kept staring back at him. Kaz leaned towards her slightly, as if he tried to step closer, but changed his mind and leaned back.
Neither of them broke the eyecontact. The silence was heavy with their unsaid words, the circumstances making it harder for either of them to say what they wanted.
"You're alive." Kaz whispered, but it felt loud in the silence. Y/N looked at him with furrowed brows at first. She looked at him with a questioning look, trying to figure out what he was thinking.
"You're alive." His words were firmer this time, as he let go of the table and took a step closer. Despite her tiredness and the pain all through her body, Y/N managed a tiny smile in the corner of her lips.
"I'm alive, koja," she whispered.
Kaz collapsed into the chair next to her bed.
A/N: If you read this far, first of all thank you and hope you liked it!
Second: here's the full wedding vow from Genya and David's wedding, edited to fit this story. It's one of my deleted scenes, where Y/N says it in Kerch, while Kaz says it in Ravkan♡
"We are soldiers. I will march with you in times of war. I will rest with you in times of peace. I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return. I have seen you change at the bottom of the world. There is no one more loved by me Kaz Brekker, stubborn and unbreakable."
[Bottom of the world=the Barrel]
#grishaverse#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker x fem!reader#grishaverse fic#kaz brekker fanfic#six of crows#shadow and bone fanfiction#shadow and bone#kaz brekker#ice court heist
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ғᴏᴏʟɪsʜ - ʟᴀɴᴅᴏ ɴᴏʀʀɪs
complete masterlist
ʟᴀɴᴅᴏ ɴᴏʀʀɪs x ᴏᴄ Something a little bit different from me tonight. A very old one shot reimagined as a Lando fic because I can’t help myself.
ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴡᴇᴀᴋ 'ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ
Five years ago when Lando Norris asked me to be his girlfriend, I was the happiest I've ever been we may have been young but we were in love. I never thought one person could make me feel like I was on cloud nine everyday the way he did. I had the life so many dream about; the most loving boyfriend, amazing friends, the nice house, the nice car, the luxury holidays. I had it all. It sounds perfect doesn't it? Don't get me wrong it's an amazing lifestyle until the person you love more than anything in the world cheats on you. Not just once but regularly. That's when none of that stuff matters anymore it becomes a world of anxiety, doubt and worry. Where is he? Who is he with? Will he come home tonight? This is the life I'm living now as Lando Norris's fiancée.
"Where've you been?" I ask Lando casually as he strolls into the bedroom of our Monaco apartment. Deep down I know where he's been and truthfully it makes me feel sick but I don't actually want to hear the words come from his mouth. In my head it will be more devastating to actually hear him say what I know has been going on behind my back for months now rather than acting oblivious.
"Just out with some friends, you should come next time" Lando says as he starts getting ready for bed. I don't understand how he's so blasé and how he can act like he's doing nothing wrong.
"That would be interesting wouldn't it" I mumble to myself as I turn the TV off and pull the duvet over myself, cocooning myself in.
"What was that?" Lando asks as he stands in the doorway of our en-suite.
"I said maybe one day. Night Lando" I say turning my bedside lamp off to put an end to our conversation. Hearing the bathroom door close I finally let the tears roll down my cheeks. This seems to have became a more regular thing lately. Lando comes home late with no explanation and I cry myself to sleep. Thinking about our relationship I question how things have got this bad between us. How have we allowed things to get this bad?
"You cried yourself to sleep again last night didn't you?" My best friend Sarah says the next day as I sit in her kitchen.
"What makes you say that?" I don't even know why I'm trying to deny it. It's obvious when you look at me and sadly she's been through this with me so many times she knows the signs.
"Your eyes are red and puffy. The bags under your eyes are something else and your mood tells me that you're beating yourself up. Why do you let him do this to you Taylor?" Sarah says not even needing to ask what's going on.
"I love him Sarah. I haven't actually asked him about anything yet but it's the same signs as the last four times" saying things out loud makes me realise what I'm actually letting Lando do to me.
"Taylor get some self respect! This might sound harsh but I can't watch Lando hurt you any more. He's cheated on you multiple times! You know about four girls he's admitted to but let’s be honest there's probably a hell of a lot more and every time you keep running back to him. You throw him out for a few weeks maybe two months at the most and he begs enough and promises to never do it again and you take him back because you miss having him around! No one deserves to be treated the way he's treating you" listening to Sarah I know she's right but I can't physically admit that my relationship with Lando has ran its course. It's destroying me mentally.
"It's not all bad though and I know he does love me" I'm aware I sound pathetic but I truthfully believe that Lando does still love me. We’ve been together for so long now, he’s the only one I think about when I think about forever.
"This isn't how you treat someone you love. Look I'm not going to say anymore because you know I have a strong opinion on this and we don't agree so rather than this ending in an argument I'm going to stop talking. I've told you what I think but sadly I can't make any decisions for you. If I could he'd have been binned off a long time ago" I know everyone who knows me would be happy if I left Lando for good but I can't, I don't want to be alone. I can't picture a life without him in it. I feel like I've put so much time and effort into our relationship to throw it away.
sᴏ ɪ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ
"Will you come in with me? I know exactly what I'll be going in there to and I'm not prepared for that" I say as we pull into the garage at mine and Lando’s apartment and I see the strange car in one of our parking bays.
"Taylor this is so wrong. We've been away for a hen weekend and now you're worried to even go in your own house because you know your dick of a boyfriend has most likely cheated on you, again. However I can see how anxious you are so I will come with you but I'm telling you now I'm not being held responsible for my actions if he has got a girl in there" getting out of the car with Sarah I'm terrified. I know Lando has cheated on me probably too many times to count but I've never actually caught him with another girl let alone with another girl in our home.
"Lando?" I say walking into the kitchen not seeing Lando anywhere. This just confirms to me that he's still in our bed with a slut. Yes I'm going to call her a slut even though I don't know her. Mine and Lando’s relationship has been in the public eye for as long as I remember and there's photos around the house of us together. There's no way she can't know about me. Walking into our bedroom I feel sick. Lando is still sleeping with the fake red headed slut next to him and I feel like I can't breathe.
"You don't deserve this Taylor. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know anymore Sarah. I could always block it out when I didn't see anything but how will I get this image out of my head? She's in my bed" I say. I'm angry and I'm shaking but I don't know how to act.
"Not for much longer she won't be" Sarah says walking over to the bedside table where she grabs the bottle of water that is sat there. Before I know it she's pouring water over Lando and whoever that is in my bed "get up now, both of you" I don't think I've ever heard Sarah so angry in the whole time I've known her.
"What the fuck are you doing? You absolute psycho!" Lando shouts as he jumps out of bed.
"How could you?" I say when Lando looks at me actually realising I'm there and not just Sarah. I'm scarily calm and I'm even scaring myself. I don't even shout, I haven't got it in me to raise my voice.
"Taylor babe this meant nothing" always the same speech. It never meant anything when Lando tries to justify his actions.
"Don't you think you better leave?" I say looking at the girl in my bed "I don't care who the fuck you are but get the fuck out of my bed and get the fuck out of my house. Now!" Seeing the look on Sarah’s face I know she never expected that tone to come from me, hell I didn't even expect it.
I don't take my eyes of the red head as she climbs out of bed gathering her clothes, within minutes I hear her leave the house. That's when I let the tears flow free and Lando gets the brunt of my anger. Next thing I know I'm throwing things at him, I'm hitting his chest and I can't stop the tears.
"Why would you do this to me!"
"I'm sorry! It was a mistake. She didn't mean anything to me. Taylor she's nothing compared to you" Lando says trying to pull me into his arms but I resit and pull back.
"Don't touch me!" I scream at Lando not wanting to be anywhere near him.
"You disgust me Norris! You've got the most amazing girl and you treat her like this! You don't deserve her! She should've left you the first time she found out you cheated" Sarah shouts at Lando and I know she’s right. I should have left years ago.
"Keep out of this Sarah! This is between me and Taylor! Why are you even here?"
"Because your fiancée was too scared to come into her own home by herself because she knew you'd have a slut here! Look what you're doing to her! You're destroying her piece by piece!" Sarah has so much built up anger towards Lando I can see this exploding as both of them raise their voices at each other.
"Stop it! Stop it now! Both of you!" I scream nearly hysterical looking between my fiancée and best friend "I know you don't like each other but stop! Sarah will you give us a minute please?" I say knowing I need to speak to Lando alone.
"I'll be in the kitchen" Sarah says giving Lando daggers as she leaves the bedroom.
"Tay..." Lando starts but I cut him off.
"Don't bother Lando. I don't want to hear it. From my perspective you have no excuse for any of this. We were supposed to get married! Christ it's not like you don't get sex from me because you do! I could understand a little bit more if that was the case! I want you to leave" I say determined this will be the last time.
"Taylor please don't. I love you"
"This isn't how you treat someone you love Lando. Just go please. Stay with a friend, stay with your family, stay with one of the sluts you've been shagging behind my back I don't care anymore. All I know is that I want you to pack a bag and leave. There never will be a wedding" I say throwing my engagement ring on the bed before walking out of the bedroom not giving Lando the chance to respond. This is the final straw I can't go through this anymore. After five years I need to plan a life without Lando Norris by my side.
#formula one fanfiction#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x oc#formula 1#formula 1 fanfic#lando x oc#lando#lando imagine#formula one fanfic#formula 1 fanfiction#f1 fanfic#f1 x oc#lando norris one shot
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omgg i’d love to see like youtuber!reader and bach, maybe like a silly little q&a? or even one of those cute but kinda cringe couple challenges from like 2010 loll ( like the chapstick challenge or smth ). obviously don’t feel pressured to write this if you don’t want to!! love ur work btw 🩷
Q&A -Italian Bach
words: 0.7k+
warnings: suggestive content.
summary: you and Bach answer his fans weird and funny questions about your relationship.
notes: hello lovely!💗 Thank you so much for your request (I apologise for posting it so late🙈). This was actually so much fun to write and it’s also my first fic for Italian Bach, hehe. I hope you enjoy!!✨🫶🏼
"Hello m' lady," Isaac greeted me at his apartment door, stepping aside to let me in. I giggled before softly pecking him on the lips.
We were both quite new to the whole youtuber thing just eight months ago. We met through a friend and decided to film a video together. The fans started shipping us, as they do, and something else ended up blossoming between us.
"Ready to film?" I asked, after we'd spent a little while chatting on his sofa. "Yup!" He jumped up and then reached for my hands to pull me up and off the couch.
He brought another chair into the spare bedroom so we could both sit at his desk, then he turned the camera on and we got started.
"Hello, my little gremlins," he began in a strange voice, I didn't bat an eyelid since I was fully used to his antics. "Today I have my girlfriend here to answer some of your questions. So get comfy and maybe get some popcorn or something."
I shuffled in the chair as he pulled out his phone. "Okay... Jacob asked, do you guys fuc-" he faked a gasp and I raised my eyebrows. "Jacob that is absolutely disgusting, you little virgin man... ew, but the answer to your question is yes. Anything to say on the matter y/n?" I breathed out a laugh. "Nope. I think you covered all bases."
"Next! Lillian, ah... can never trust a Lillian," I furrowed my brows. "What why?" "I have my reasons. Okay, she asked when did you realise you loved y/n?" "Aw, that's cute!" I smiled.
"Umm... probably when I got some of that poosay!" "Isaac!" I playfully slapped his arm. "No no, I'm joking! It was after we'd just finished filming a video and we ordered dinner and I realised that even the boring, simple things I always enjoyed doing it if it was with you."
"Oh my god, that was actually such a sweet answer, the tiktok editors are gonna eat that up." He chuckled as he knew I was right.
"Do you wanna read this one?" He asked. I nodded and took the phone. "Wolfman57 asked when we want kids," my eyes widened as I read the message. "First of all, I love your username, secondly that's a big question to ask, wolfman." Bach stated.
"Why don't we get back to you in a few years?" I opted. "Yes, we shall do that," Isaac seconded. "Moving on... oh lord, Sam asked, what's the biggest animal you think you could fit up your ass?" "Woah Sam, that's crazy," Bach grimaced.
"Why don't you take the phone back?" I said and he quickly took it. "I'm sorry your eyes had to witness that my love," he joked.
After quite a few interesting questions we were onto the last one. I leaned my head on Isaac's shoulder so that I could see the phone. "Okay... finally, Laura asked, what's our favourite thing about each other?"
"Ooo, I like this!" I grinned. "My favourite thing about you is your ability to find the good in any situation. Though an honourable mention is that fat ass," he answered.
I scoffed. "That was sweet and you know what... I'll take it. Okay, now yours, my kind sir, would be your funny little jokes and the way they make me belly laugh. Along with the mullet," I smirked as I ran my hand over the back of his hair.
"Thank you for watching till the end, obviously y/n will be back soon so put any requests of things you want to see us film in the comments!" "Nothing dirty," I added. Bach chuckled before turning the camera off.
"That was perfect." "You're perfect, now let's go get some lunch," he responded, standing. "You know... if we order something, that usually takes like twenty minutes to come..." "ah... what do you suggest we do while we wait ma'am?" "I don't know, a lot can be accomplished in twenty minutes," I replied with a cheeky smile.
In and instant he'd grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder. I let out a shriek and giggled as he ran with me into our bedroom.
#italian bach#isaac smith#italian bach x reader#isaac smith x reader#youtuber x reader#tiktoker x reader#british youtubers#fanfic#imagine#oneshot#x fem!reader#x female reader#x y/n#x you#x reader#youtube#fluff
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@bananahoneycomb @wynnyfryd
Can I just offer an alternative?
Alternatively, Eddie is trying to run a D&D dream game, showing up again and again as townsfolk and princes and bartenders, but Steve keeps figuring out how to roll high numbers on seduction and pulls that shit on Every. Single. Character Eddie ends up playing.
Because Dustin tells Steve that he needs to use his strengths.
And what is Steve Harrington an expert at, if not romance.
Short on time, Steve speedruns his bisexual awakening because he gets seriously into making Bartender Eddie flustered and won't stop leaning over Ye Olde dream bar to say, "come here often, gorgeous" while Dream Eddie hides his face behind his hair and tries not to shriek into a barrel.
On the other side, waiting with baited breath, a very concerned Wayne stops a nurse to ask if Eddie has a fever.
When the nurse checks and says, "no, why?" Wayne will point out the fact that the heart monitor keeps speeding up in intervals.
That and his boy's face has spent the last few minutes getting progressively pinker.
And it keeps doing that. All night.
After Eddie wakes up Wayne will ask him if anything happened in those dreams. And while Eddie will hide behind his hair and refuse to answer, Steve has no such qualms.
"Oh, that's probably my fault, sir," he'll tell Wayne candidly, taking Eddie's hand. "We had to take extreme measures at the end to save Eddie here. His character almost died, see, and then Dustin remembered a D&D game from a few months ago that Eddie ran where all the characters went to this magic, healing spring-"
"Please don't say it," Eddie would say into his knees. "Please, Steve. Mercy."
"Don't be so dramatic. It worked, didn't it?"
Wayne looked between them. "What worked?"
"So," continued Steve, "my character, I was a palladium-"
"Paladin..."
"Right. Anyway, I was the strongest one there, obviously. I mean not to brag but I don't work out five times a week for nothing, sir. So Robin suggested that I should test out the magic spring first to see if it was safe, and that the only way to check would be to see what happened on my skin, so I sort of just shucked off my shirt and pants and dove in and wouldn't you know it? Eddie took one look at me and woke up!" Steve beamed, pleased with himself. "Robin said that it probably worked so well because it's really, really hard for Vecna to take over someone's mind if they're focused on something else and apparently, me shirtless was all that did it!"
"So, you saved my nephew."
"My pecs were the real heroes, sir!"
"And your abs, I'm assuming?"
"Wayne!" Eddie hissed.
Steve just laughed and squeezed Eddie's hand.
Staring down at his bright red nephew, hiding his face in his hair but still holding hands with Steve Harrington, Wayne hummed. "Well, I guess we're toasting to shirtless boys tonight then," he said, and watched his nephew go even redder.
-
So, alternatively. Eddie tries hard to run a game in his mind, and Vecna does his best to take control of Eddie. But in the end, shirtless Steve under a fantasy waterfall (or wherever, really, that boy would whip off his shirt in a snowstorm) absolutely distracts and enchants Eddie, thus defeating Vecna with the power of glistening abs and gay yearning.
Steddie idea inspired by Star Trek holodeck episodes:
Eddie survives but they have to go into his mind to wake him up. When they get into Eddie's mindscape they are all turned into dnd characters and have to go through a dnd style dungeon to save him.
There is a dark!Eddie popping in and out who is running the game as DM.
#steddie#steddie fic idea#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie hcs#when Eddie wakes up he needs to keep walking out of rooms when his Uncle/father won't stop winking at him#Wayne over there to his nephew/son like “it's actually really cute you were so flustered”#what did you dream about
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tbh forgot that i even made this
#it’s from a few months ago that’s probably why…#it’s based off of this little powerpuff girls comic i saw back then as well#i’m too lazy to go hunt for it sorry#ducktales#my art#i pray this isn’t blurry#AND IK HUEY IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SWEETEST TO DONALD BUT THE OTHERS DONT WEAR HATS OK SO YEAH#he’s still a child and children are unpredictable so it works…#fukc like the debate in my brain on whether to post this or not… w/e
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Only happiness can await after grief, right?
(The concept’s a simple “what-if” AU, where Yuugi didn’t quite succeed in getting over his grief, so upon Atem’s return, becomes only Slightly unhinged about their relationship going forward. Atem though is too happy about being back to notice, leading to an odd, push-pull relationship that is could only be called “love”… right?)
#lets call it Puzzleshipping: Codependency Somehow Got Worse Edition XD#teetering the line between toxic and healthy (but always loving💓💖)#probably#this was also from a few months ago so thats why the style’s different haha#yugioh#ygo#yami yugi#pharaoh atem#mutou yuugi#yugi moto#puzzleshipping
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.
#like i'm not gonna lie and say i do this every time i'm even vaguely interested in someone. most of the time i'm just like 'ooo hottie'#and then save a bunch of pics before either the shame gets to me or i just stop caring and move on. happens quite a bit more than my#obsessive episodes. the worst one was absolutely the fact that i was obsessed with jeremy for basically 3 years and spent two hating him#simply because i thought i was owed anything. honestly i think i was just very very insanely depressed. that's probably why those#obsessive periods even happen to begin with because i have felt so so horrible like soul ripped out horrible the past few weeks lmao#and i think i'm just a grasp for any light in the dark type person like it doesn't even necessarily mean anything the person is just someon#i attach significance to them when i do this shit but i know deep down that i'm owed nothing and that i truly expect nothing#it's just nice to have a distraction from my life. and dgmw that doesn't make me any less schizo about certain details and happenings#like i'll still think that 'oh they're only doing that because i'm into them' or 'they only went here because it was related to something i#was thinking about earlier' and whatever else. i know what i am. i don't claim to be anything else. and i know it puts people off.#and that i'm not likely to get any better if i keep doing it. if it's even possible for me to get better. but idk. it's interesting bc i've#thought more about what my life means to me and the kind of person i am and how my brain works and how everything affects me#more in the past few weeks than i seem to have in the last 5 years. i think i'm really getting better at accepting hard truths.#time spent by yourself is still time spent with the world.... and the more i think... even if it's hurtful... i'm growing and changing all#the time. i don't think if this was 4 years ago i would've even acknowledged the fact that i can't write off on This Guy's zionism#and other things about him that give me the ick (hate that phrase but whtevr) like him playing that gay hogwarts game and being a nepo baby#like bro you have trans friends and supposedly always 'look out for the small guy'. he's also never dated a fat girl despite his mom being#kind of a trailblazer for fat women in the entertainment industry. there's always rumors of him dating literally ever costar he's ever#worked with i guess simply because he seems like that kind of guy. and to be fair he does LMAO#honestly i don't know if i believe he's a bad person but i won't sign off on a guy i like being boring and stupid. that's just me#i'm sure ppl reading this who also don't Get Me are wondering why any of this even matters and the point is that it kind of doesn't lmao#but it's my life and i typically choose to care about people who will never even know i exist. unpopular girl instinct i suppose. maybe i'm#destined to be unloved or something but for now i wear fantasies like a blanket. maybe one day i won't need them anymore. but i def#do not need to center my romantic ideals on a guy i would be embarrassed to tell people i'm dating if i were actually dating him. rough#now just give me a month to get over it and finish the 2nd season of a show i like that he's in and i'll be rid of it hopefully. we'll see
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#I am losing my fucking mind#I am so sick of being treated like I'm the reason we're in this spot and having the sacrifices we HAVE made completely ignored or downplayed#I KNOW there's more to improve on but FUCK#we don't go out with friends and haven't in over a year#the two times I did go out with friends it ate me up inside because I had to spend money#I was disgusted with myself#we haven't gone to a sporting event in at least two years#we haven't had a single date night in the same time frame#and yet we get criticized for fucking. buying gifts for our birthdays and christmas#we probably spent less than $80 for christmas fuck offffffffff#and I got shit for buying my growing two year old clothes because she had NOTHING TO WEAR FOR WINTER!!!#but no that can't possibly be true we got so many free clothes from friends it's totally impossible that we didn't get anything past 18mo#TWO YEARS AGO#so obviously I'm just spending all our money on shopping sprees obviously this is all my fault I'M the problem#and now I'm seriously considering giving up swim class and a new insulin pump entirely :(#why should those get an exception but not the small hobbies keeping us from going insane#genuinely idk how I'm going to make it the next few months#we're so fucked#and God knows if I'll be able to breast feed this time#or if we'll be stuck paying boatloads for formula again#not to mention how bad the hospital bill will be...#*just to clear things up this is not a vent post about my husband it's about the family giving us financial advice :P
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Btw for anyone who's never visited my blog and/or doesn't use desktop, I just want you to know that it's a relic blog with an audioplayer, the old tumblr format of indented posts, and a custom floating gif that walks up the right side of the page. I put my love into this theme and I'm going to share it!
#erurandomness#erubabbles#I think I've had my theme like this since...maybe 2017ish? oh god how long has it been#The NieR image in the side is probably a 2017ish thing since that's when I played it. Maybe 2018 because I didn't lose interest right away#I also remember that the background (right side) was Tenebrae from FFXV which I was super into in 2016/17ish#so yeah I want to say the bones have been like this since 2017ish#though I've changed some things over time.#I think I used to have more blues or a different green in the solid color part of the side bar#I've also edited the fonts colors and headers#the audio player songs I've changed a few times. and need to do it again because 2 or 3 of the links are dead#and kain I added in a few months ago. it was a different gif before#but yeah! i don't know why tumblr is getting rid of people's custom blogs but for now I still have mine#I'm going to get really sad if they get rid of them entirely. i've put dozens if not hundreds of hours into customizing mine#and my side pages#over the years. both this one and side blogs. this year will make 11 years of being on tumblr man. so i've invested a lot of time into it!#i will say that this view is at 133% zoom but I don't want to make the theme itself any larger for the sake of ppl with small screens
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Im probably not going to post anything for a while I'm sorry. I love you guys
#Not going to kill myself I promise#I realized how this sounds after typing it#I'm just pretty sure I have schizophrenia or something like that and I haven't been coping well with it#I love that you can wait 6 fucking months for a neurology appointment and then be told that you hallucinate because of anxiety#I'm scared#I probably won't hurt myself or anyone around me but I'm still scared#I feel especially bad because someone recently followed me because they want to know more about my rewrite#And like. I've been spiraling for months now and they have gotten zero information about my dear son#I also found out that I'm a system a while ago and it turns out that I am the worst host in the world#I'm not surprised that Rosie split specifically to make sure that I'm not doing anything bad#Again I'm sorry for those of you who followed me for art#If you don't love me at my rock bottom you don't deserve my subpar art that I make sometimes#I'm 17 years old why am I like this#Ily mutuals who I have parasocial relationships with#I should probably take a break from social media for a while idk I'm not doing to good and I don't want to hurt anyone#They should make a feature where you can press a button and get locked out of your Tumblr for a few weeks
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