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#it’s especially horrendous for the dwarves and the elves
onesizedgirl · 13 days
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Naur because why the costumes in r*p are so horrendous good god what was the budget? Three peas and a leather boot?😭
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lonesomedreamer · 2 days
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“The Rings of Power” Liveblog: Udûn (Episode 6)
Or: how does this episode have by far the highest rating of the season on IMDb?!
Starting with the Orcs again. No thanks. I just don’t find the supposed mystery of Adar’s identity very compelling.
“Where is he? What happened to Sauron?” Speaking of mysteries, they were never even remotely subtle about Sauron’s in-show identity, were they?
Some obvious CG/hokey stunts ensue…the construction of buildings in Middle-earth must be really shoddy, because the tower crumbles almost instantly and was apparently held together by some ropes??
Nothing about the Southlanders’ plan is explained/clarified in any way. They’re going back to their village to “make [it] ready,” but ready for what? A siege? (As if.)
Galadriel offers Isildur some wise-sounding words about the value of humility. But she certainly isn’t speaking from her own lived experience…
“You have the look of your father.” This must have been written before any roles were cast: the actor who plays Isildur looks nothing like the one playing Elendil! Funnily enough, he does resemble Bronwyn and especially Theo, but I’m sure that’s just coincidence.
The Southlanders were feeling hopeless/powerless enough to surrender to the Orcs literally one day earlier, or did I imagine that??
This (slightly paraphrased) Tolkien quote about passing Shadow is beautiful and moving…except it doesn’t make sense to put it in Bronwyn’s mouth. It doesn’t sound like the kind of language we’ve heard these villagers use. Besides, it’s not a line of dialogue in the book.
“It is believed that one of the Valar watches over growing things.” Her name is Yavanna, and you should say that!
This scene with Arondir and Bronwyn looks good, and it would be touching if I was actually interested in their underbaked romance.
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I can’t tell if this scene is ripping off the Jackson movies, Game of Thrones, or both, but either way it feels…low-stakes. The scale isn’t there. Why do the Orcs care so much about this one village? Are these the only free humans left in the Southlands? If so, they should be easy to subjugate. If not, and without Sauron, what’s their significance?
This scene is going on forever, AND it’s become unwatchable grimdark nonsense with some added eye gore/horror to revolt me, specifically.
The actors, Bronwyn and Theo in particular, are giving it their all. It’s not their fault that I’m not remotely invested in what happens to them.
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How tf does time work on this show? When did the Númenórean forces land? How close is this village to the coast? And how many horses did they bring with them on their three little ships?!?
How did they know to come to this village? Is this Halbrand’s home? (iirc he’s supposed to have amnesia or something, so he wouldn’t even know!) I have to ask again: is this the only village in the Southlands???
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Horrendous costume design. I award them zero points.
Isildur told Galadriel that he’s stablehand! But now he has his own armor, weapons, and a horse and is being given orders on the battlefield by the queen herself…?
“The item he possesses: he must not escape with it.” Adar: immediately escapes with it.
Halbrand asks Adar if he remembers him, because they almost could not be broadcasting his [Halbrand’s] identity any louder.
Their half-assed explanation of the Orcs’ origin story is maybe the only worthwhile thing to come out of this episode so far…(checks watch) 47 minutes in.
“I killed Sauron.” Too bad you can’t kill a Maiar (see example A: Gandalf) the way you can a normal person. Galadriel should know that.
“We are all creations of the One…the same as you.” This is great philosophy in, say, Star Trek, but in Tolkien’s universe it’s…not true? Elves and Men are the Children of Ilúvatar (Eru, lit. “the One”), while Orcs were created by Morgoth out of spite and envy as a mockery of the Elves. They’re the product of torture and evil magic. Ilúvatar reprimanded Aulë for making the Dwarves, and he made them out of love! The writers want me to feel sympathy for their horror movie monster Orcs because, idk…they have names?
“Your kind was a mistake, made in mockery.” The thing is, she isn’t wrong.
Galadriel is pretty spiteful and bloodthirsty herself. If only they’d made ambition her driving force. Less “relatable,” maybe, but so much truer to the character.
Love that all these villagers just accept the first decent-looking dude who claims to be their “true king” with no questions asked. Very Monty Python of them.
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Reverse Excalibur, but make it evil and able to operate a giant Rube Goldberg machine! How stupid.
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They could have just made a show about Elendil, the fall of Númenor, and the Last Alliance. It probably would’ve been better, and there would be more of his face.
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“The look of his father,” apparently.
Mount Doom origin story? Incredibly dumb. So dumb. No one asked for or needed this.
The Good:
Some very pretty landscape shots
Galadriel’s chain mail is sparkly and aesthetically pleasing
They almost made me feel something re: Theo and Bronwyn.
An explanation of Orc origins at last (though I’m unsure why the show treated that as some big mystery in the first place)
Decent to good acting for the most part
The Bad:
Did we just…forget the rest of the show existed? No Lindon? No Khazad-dûm? Not even any Harfoots??? Even though I’m still mad about the idiotic mithril subplot, at least the Elves and Dwarves make the show feel fantastical and Tolkien-adjacent. To me this was dark, depressing, and unlovely—tonally, a Two Towers kind of episode but without any of the whimsy/charm that cut through the book’s gloom. A discount, low-effort GOT.
The battle scene went on forever. It was hard to see anything, unpleasant to watch what little you could see, and it all felt kind of meaningless.
To expand on that: this whole episode was UGLY. Especially for a show whose biggest redeeming feature is its lush visuals.
Either tell us Halbrand is [redacted] already or try to mislead us. Don’t just keep winking awkwardly at us!
The overall writing has serious problems. Too many things are convenient, inconsistent, contradictory, totally illogical, and/or explained either poorly or not at all. A lot of this could be alleviated by having more episodes to explore/develop the story and characters more thoroughly…some of it’s plain old bad writing, though.
Why are they earnestly trying to make us sympathize with Orcs via Adar while also making the Orcs…like that?
My already-teetering suspension of disbelief toppled out of a window watching this one. The unbelievable speed of the Numenoreans’ travel—both by sea and land—combined with the whole “evil Sauron sword-hilt that destroys a dam and starts a chain reaction that activates Mount Doom and destroys the Southlands” thing and the fake-out ending (half of the MCs seeming to be consumed by pyroclastic flow)… Someone shared a Tolkien quote that perfectly sums up the problem with this:
The moment disbelief arises, the spell is broken; the magic, or rather art, has failed. You are then out in the Primary World again, looking at the little abortive Secondary World from outside.
So yeah…this feels like a bad Game of Thrones episode—and apparently that’s what people want, because it has rave reviews compared to the other seven. But this show claims to be Tolkien-inspired, and imo it should therefore aspire to emulate Tolkien’s style more than it does Martin’s. This was not Tolkien. If this episode is your particular cup of tea—which is fine!—your fantasy is probably in another castle.
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idjitlili · 4 years
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Thranduil x reader
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Imagine being childhood friends with Thranduil, hadn’t seen him for centuries, him finding you wounded in the battle of the five armies as you were apart of the company and you fought alongside them. Thorin,Fili,kili live au.
Word count:1540
You lay there in the mud, near erebor, you had been caught off guard. You hadn’t seen Thranduil since he married his wife, you had left after their engagement was announced. You couldn’t bare seeing the man you loved with another women especially one so beautiful.
You were beyond heartbroken, you became a ranger for many years ,then Gandalf had asked you to join Thorin Oakenshields company, you agreed. Then when you arrived at Mirkwood you went with Gandalf he knew about the chances of the dwarves being caught by Thranduils guards,and he knew of you past so he had allowed you to go with him.
You knew how to defend yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t have been a ranger. You were fond of the dwarves and Bilbo , you didn’t understand Thranduils hatred for them. Dwarves were very kind to you, even Thorin he soon warmed up to you. Sometimes when you did have the ponies , you would give Bilbo piggy back rides. You liked his sass, you knew he wasn’t a skilled fighter so you made sure to help him out.
Which led you to the battle of the five armies. Bilbo was being attacked so you stepped in telling him to run; fighting the orcs off. As soon as you turned around to see if Bilbo had made it off, which he did, you felt the cold iron hit your lower stomach. You had looked down to see the blood spilling ; looking back up to see an orc smirking at you , as you collapsed onto the floor.
Everything went black.
Thranduil seen you save Bilbo, he knew you were with the company when Bilbo had given the Arkenstone. Bilbo had mentioned you helping him get out ; without anyone seeing. Thranduils eye widened at this, he had missed you deeply , it was worse after his wife had died. He needed his bestfriend.
“Y/n?” He had muttered out, Bilbo looked up at the king in confusion.
“Uh yeah, you know her?” Bilbo wondered why you hadn’t told him about knowing Thranduil, he knew you had lived in Mirkwood , but you never stayed why you left.
“Is she part of your company?” He had questioned, in disbelief he didn’t think he would ever see you again. No one knew you had left , not even your parents, you left 99% of your stuff. To start over your life, trying to put your life into keeping middle earth safe.
Bilbo had nodded his head, thats all Thranduil needed to know for know.
When he had spotted you , he tried to rush towards you but the orc had stuck you first. Now Thranduil’s face lit with anger ;as he charged at the orc with his sword. His hair swaying against as he sat upon his elk. He had slashed the orc Th o death before jumping off his elk, to your side. The war was over.
His soft palms grazed your face ,his eyes filled with panic, as he lifted your tunic to reveal your wound. He had gasped at the blood pouring out of your. “You are going to be alright.” He muttered over and over he didn’t know if he was trying to convince you or himself. He picked you up bridal style from the ground, getting on to his elk trying to find a healer.
Instead he found Oin, he didn’t trust dwarves but he knew he didn’t have time to be picky,otherwise you would die. He had begged for help, Oin had ushered him to bring you into erebor. Oin has been about to go into erebor when thrandhil found him. Oin led Thranduil to a empty chamber, Thranduil laid you down grabbing a chair to sit next to you in.
Oin got to work , cleaning and stitches your wound ,you were still out cold. Thranduil clutched his hand, hoping for you. His mind flashed of memories of the two of you, playing in Greenwood forest, playing tricks on guards. He knew he loved you, yet he could never tell you though, his father before he was even at age had picked out his wife. He could not disobey his king.
“Is she going to be okay?” Thranduil asked the dwarf as he finished, Oin had looked up at the king. “She should be fine, if she had lost anymore blood..” he smiled slightly at Thranduil. “Thank you.” He had told the healer as he left.
Thranduil stayed with you for , a whole day not eating or anything not evening shittting. After a whole 24 hours you had woken , shocker at your vister who still clutched on to your hand. You turned your hand to face him “Thranduil?” You said dry throatly.
His head snapped towards you in shock, “y/n. You are awake?” He spoke excitedly, you groaned “no I’m dead, yes I’m awake.” You spoke smiling at him lightly, he ignored your comment bringing his chair closer not letting go of your hand though. He felt you head, sighing in pleasure when you had no temperature, as elves rarely get sick.
“Are you the only who brought me here?” You spoke noticing this was the room you had been giving by thorin in erebor. “As soon as I saw you get injured , I grabbed you then found Oin.” You giggled at him. “Oh so now you know dwarves names but thanks for saving my life.”
He sighed,”I missed you y/n.” You looked away from him, “as did I miss you.” You spoke dry as sandpaper. He frowned at you , “why did you leave?”
“Is it that hard to believe I needed a fresh start?” You angrily spat looking at Thranduil as his mouth gapped in shock.
“Why didn’t you stay for my wedding? Why did you tell me were g-“ before he could finish you interrupted him “first you would’ve tried making me stay, secondly I didn’t want to see you get married.” You mouth still dripping with venom pulling your hand from his.
“Why?” He questioned again you were getting annoyed at him saying why. “Stop asking why already, just drop it.” You go to stand up only for Thranduil to push you down. “You will pull your stitches.” He gestured to your lower stomach, you pulled the fabric of your tunic up to reveal many stitches. You look away quickly.
“Why did you stay?” You were confused why he didn’t go back and led Mirkwood , he isn’t supposed to leave Mirkwood for long time. You thought it was weird he was holding you hand when you woke up.
“Because I care for you.” You spoke simply. , you scrunched your face not believing him. “Bullshit.” He sighed standing up annoyed, “stop being stubborn, you were my bestfriend y/n of course I care for you.” He turned to look at you, you couldn’t bare to be to around him anymore.
You carefully got up ignoring the horrendous pain, walking over to thranduil , who gasped seeing you up, before he could say anything you spoke first.”you want to know why I left? Hm?” You questioned angrily he nods his head. “I left because I love you, I couldn’t bare to see you marry someone else. So now the snake is out of the box leave.” You spoke angrily pointing to your door.
Before you could even react his lips were on yours , cupping your cheeks. You pulled away , still angry “you are married Thranduil. Stop.” You turn away from him , spotting a cup of water on your bedside table , walking to and drinking it.
“She died , giving birth to my son,but I never loved her like I love you y/n.” You turned around to thranduil and gasped.
“You had a child with someone you didn’t love? “ you scoffed at the elven king.
“My father arranged the marriage, and if I wasn’t to officiate the marriage my father would have know, they had scribes Out side the door. My father would’ve disowned me. I had no choice.” He grasped yours hands , you felt tingles go up your arms.
“That’s for the information on your sex life.” You spat pulling away from thranduil.
“I love you y/n, please I always have.” His facial expression softening presenting his sincere attentions.
You could bare to wait no longer you loved him so much, you had been waiting centuries.
“Do you really?” You questioned.
“Yes, I do. So please come home with me and be my queen.” He brought his hand to caress your cheek, you placed your hand over his.
“If I agree do you promise to be friendly with Thorin and the dwarves , team up with him once his again?” You looked into his ocean eyes.
“I would do anything for you, now let’s go together thorin doesn’t kill me.”
“Wait he doesn’t know you are here?”
“Oin told him that you could have no visitors so he wouldn’t know.”
“Oh darn you are in trouble.” You giggle
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atxlxs · 3 years
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Beyond The Veil: Chapter 5
The assessment test was pretty consistent.
Those that had the quirks suited for it at first glance had dominated while the rest all seemed to get variations of the same base score. Some slightly better, some slightly worse. This made it pretty easy for Muska to just, consistently get good scores.
When your quirk, *cough* and other things *cough*, essentially affects anything and everything as long as the energy itself isn’t being used by something else it becomes easy to just enhance everything.
Ball throw? More like sniper propulsion. Long jump? Ha, more like flying to the opposite side. Grip strength? She doesn’t even need to touch it. Just contract the energy surrounding the mechanism. Flexibility? She used to do ballet, like, a century ago but muscle memory counts.
She had some tests she couldn’t do well, like the endurance test. She was here to train her quirk after all. Plus the longer the tests went on the harder it was to continue. If she continued at the level she was doing, she’d have one hell of a headache. It was starting to hurt as well. Every time she tried to go over her limits, using the energy actually hurt so she’d rather avoid that.
By the end of it all, Muska had placed a solid 3rd place. Beating out Robocop and PomPom (Bakugo), looking down the list with curiosity, Muska cringed at Midoriya taking last place. The kid definitely couldn’t regulate the energy belonging to his quirk, which felt really weird whenever Muska looked into it, and had broken his finger on the ball throw. However, what she didn’t expect was the feeling of mirth coming off of Aizawa.
Wait a damn minute.
The fucker wouldn’t.
“It was a logical ruse to make you all perform at your best capabilities.”
The fucker did.
Now, even as the class started shouting once more that evening, Muska was highly focused on the man in front of her. That was a lie. He lied about it being a ruse. The energy had fluctuated just slightly when he said ruse, going from mirth to a hazy feeling. The indescribable experience one goes through when they white lie or bluff.
He was going to expel the person who came in last. Something changed that though. What the fu- Oh. Ooooh.
“...If you won’t take this seriously as the hero in training students you are…”
The bastard was judging our potential and disguised it as an assessment!
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Rat-man hadn’t given Muska a map, either expecting her to ask someone to help or look at the map and guess. She would do neither. Asking for help would warn them beforehand and she might be waved off considering it was a staff meeting. Secondly, she just doesn’t want to.
Instead of her quirk, Muska closed her eyes and felt around the harmony. Surprisingly, the school was ‘clean’ for the most part. A few dark patches here and there but nothing horrendous. That was when she noticed it. A room towards the top of the fourth tower, left side in the back away from the gate, was filled with several aged energies. One of which seemed to be escaping slowly towards something else. That was weird, but definitely where she needed to be.
It took 10 minutes of dedication to get to the tower needed, and 10 more to not stab the principal on sight after she got up the stairs and walked over to a steel door that had a key code. Disregarding the key code box since she definitely didn’t know said code, she decided that knocking in the tune to “Crab Rave” was a good alternative.
The door opened before the first verse was done to a very confused woman in spandex. Giving her a smile, it definitely had an annoyed flair to it since she could be at home and forcing Eras to be cooking right now, Muska slipped past her and into the meeting room. The Rat-man stood on the large table, surrounded by pro hero’s (based on the flashy getups…. Is that a horse gas mask?) and seemed to be in the middle of something. A beat of silence followed as Muska walked over to an empty chair near the front, it looked to be Nedzu’s but the short rat-man didn’t need it, and sat down. Pulling out her phone and starting to scroll through Tiktok. It was an old app but it stayed strong through the years and was still running.
“Uh, whatsa youngin like ya doin here?” Horse gas mask man asked. The heroes all subtly nodded along, too shocked by her nonchalant actions about crashing a very obvious faculty meeting.
Muska’a face twisted into a small frown as she turned her attention up to see the man. Aizawa, who she just now noticed was sitting at the back corner of the table, was just glaring down at Nedzu. Smart move and he was right.
“First of all, don’t call me youngin, I can guarantee I'm older than you. Second of all, ask Remy the rat here for that info.” Muska stated, about to return to her phone before perking up again and continued, “Also rat-man, if you want answered questions they better be done before 5, I have pasta being cooked by a glorified 5 star chef waiting at home.”
Several heroes choked, Aizawa hid a snort into his scarf, at her words. Nedzu, the fiend, just smiled wider.
“Of course!” The chimera chirped.
Yes chirped, maybe he had some bird DNA mixed in?
“I wouldn’t want to keep you too long! Faculty, this is Viridis Muska, Viridis, these are the pro heroes on staff that I trust to keep their mouths shut under oath of an NDA! Your guardian was kind enough to email it over to me this afternoon.”
Muska snorted at that. “Yea sounds like her.” Placing her phone face up on the table next to her, she tapped on the table expectantly as the Rat took his sign to continue.
“The most obvious question should probably be first and I know my dear staff are confused, what did you mean by you being older?”
It was an innocent question, she’ll answer it.
“Why Remy, that's cause unless Humanity has managed to surpass their expected due date of at max 120 years, then I am very much so older.”
The room was filled with confusion. It radiated off them in waves as distress rose at getting such vague answers. Aizawa in the corner sighed and snapped his gaze from the rat to her.
“I’m sure what the rat meant to ask was how old are you exactly and how did you reach that age.” Aizawa stated. Clear and concise.
“Of course, if I remember correctly I should be turning 267 this year,” she said, not pausing even when coffee was spat all over the table from a few of the people around the room, “and I was born a human, however upon entry into the veil and my chosen profession as a witch, I was changed. Reaching the height of my craft has allowed me to unlock certain aspects of my being, immortalizing my body for now. I’m still technically in my ‘teen’ years considering the average witch you’ll meet has passed a thousand years in some capacity.”
Aizawa ran a hand down his face in exasperation and a quiet mumble of “fucking problem ch- witch” escaped. A few other heroes were pale, and the spandex woman looked very intrigued. A twink with blond hair that had the weird energy actually coughed up blood. Muska’s gaze snapped to him at that. The need to heal over writing her focus for a moment before Nedzu cleared his throat for attention again.
Reluctantly she returned her gaze to the rat. If she didn’t know any better she would have thought he was undisturbed. She did, however, know better. The rat was practically vibrating where he stood in excitement.
“Viridis, do you think you could give us a basic rundown of the veil?” Nedzu quizzed, looking more and more like the sadistic researcher he was. Fuck, He's just like the elves.
Muska leaned back and sighed. She expected this and went over it with eras last night. They came up with what could, or couldn’t be talked about for the beginning until they were all deemed trustworthy.
“I can give you a short, very short compared to all the details of the veil, summary but frankly the veil doesn’t want certain info getting into certain hands.” She said, voice cold and steely. She would not be taking a no for this.
“I understand! Anything you can trust us with for now would help the mystery that has been plaguing me for years.” Nedzu said, which caused Muska to cackle a bit.
“I know, the… reps of certain races and collectives have placed bets on when and who would slip and give you the info at some point.” watching with amusement as Nedzu’s whiskers twitched, she sighed and leaned forwards. Pointing a finger at the white board behind her.
Nedzu, who of course understood exactly what that meant, nodded.
Muska stood up and grabbed three markers. One black, one green, and one red. Taking the black marker, she drew a large circle and wrote ‘The Veil’ above it. Uncapping the green marker, Muska spoke up as she marked off sections in the circle with black and labeled them in green.
“In the veil there are set collections and races. I, as a witch, belong to the group called Magia.” Magia was written in a section taking up a 5th of the circle, “It's a collective that represents those who follow magically tied professions, no matter the race you are, since once you become a part of what defines the Magia you are assigned this section. Of course like nations there is also dual representation. However, that's more complicated and this is the short version.”
A quick glance told Muska that everyone in the room was listening with rapt attention. Especially Aizawa and Nedzu, one more concealed than the other.
“Next is the elvish. Yes, elves, and yes, they are very pretentious. The younger ones are more lax and ready for mischief, but the elders tend to be stuck in their ways or research. God the research they do. They’re called the scholars of the abyss. Do you need to know something? Ask an elf. They write and read practically everything there is to write and read.” Another section gets cut off and labeled.
“Then there's the dwarves, oh and I’m listing these in population order as is the sectioning. The more people the bigger the section and so on. I’ll get to influence later. Back to dwarves. They aren’t all blacksmiths as myth leads you to believe but they do make the best weaponry and armor. You can find quite a few in engineering professions. A lot find jobs in mixology and brewing as well.” Another section. So far all are labeled with green.
“Next is the Vampires. These guys are incredibly important in the veil since they were the first members of it. Treated the closest to monsters, they had to run away from society's view earlier than loved races like elves and dwarves. Hell, even witches had some supporters when Halloween started to become a festive rather than a lore holiday. If you want to truly know about the veil? Then ask a vampire. They have every secret tucked away and safe guarded by their Origins.” Muska said, a small mischievous smirk was hidden as they faced the board. The energy shift in Nedzu told her the first time he met Eras would be cathartic considering it's her quirk registry game that led her here.
“Next is a much smaller group called the Fae. They are everything you’ve read and more. Do not engage with them until you’ve gone through Celtic mythology. You’ll become moss like that. I fuckin hate the imps sometimes.”
“In a more general group are the smallest numbers. Collectively known as the ‘inbetween’ these members range from the sirens in the waters to the spirits that haunt the earth and fuel the energy. Demons fall under here too but they rarely visit earth and always do so under contract so they don’t have much of a voice. Dragon descendants too, the last of the actual dragons died thousands of years ago but their blood lines are in half dragons. They have wings on some, horns and scales on others, but all carry the boiling blood of their predecessors.”
Muska took a deep breath after labeling one of the last spaces with green. Capping it, she uncapped the red and wrote a bold ‘FORGOTTEN’ in the smallest space. Turning around she dropped all smiles and pleasantries. Voice harsh and cold as she spoke venom with every word.
“Never, ever, look for those in the forgotten. They do not have representation but they are known and branded. A red circle with a line in the middle along with text that only certain people can read is their symbol and it's burned into their skin. The forgotten are the, essentially, criminals of the veil. The veil is filled with people of dubious legalities to humans but there is a special place to rot for those that cross veil taboos. Whether it’s a necromancer practicing on those that are alive, or a vampire who has gone blood crazy and slipped into the view of humans as food. Elves committing experimentation on live creatures for research or sirens drowning sailors into the ocean out of amusement. These are all examples of forgottens who get branded soon after they are recognized.”
The air seemed stale as Muska ran her glare over the heroes present. Even Nedzu shuddered as the energy in the room seemed to freeze and burn those that took too deep of a breath despite not actually happening.
The heroes nodded once they realized she was looking for a response and her gaze softened but still held a serious edge to it.
“The brands are placed by chosen representatives of the race where the forgotten came from. The representative is chosen by a council meeting between the heads of each race, the heads themselves are chosen by vote or position within the race and the job is carried out within 24 hours of discovery.”
Speaking of the representatives of races,
“Any questions before I head home for my fuckin pasta?”
(She just really wants her pasta)
Tags:
@baguettehead
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theharellan · 4 years
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101 DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS | not accepting
for the sake of reducing the number of ooc posts i’m answering these all in one and just @ing the people who asked the questions! thank you for them all!
if you sent me one of these btw and rbed this meme yourself and i didn’t send you something, please let me know! i want to send you things back and must have missed you reblogging the meme. this includes non-mutuals.
1. How did you get into Dragon Age? | asked by @kaaras-adaar & @dreamerlavellan​
Sort of by accident, actually. It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in university (2011) and summertime is generally a time of inactivity and depression because I cannot tolerate the weather here. My dad happened to own Origins and I picked it up because??? Fantasy? RPG?
Starting the game I saw you could play as a dwarf, who have been my favourites in fantasy since a child as The Hobbit is among my favourite books. Then after that I fell in love with the worldbuilding for dwarves and Gorim, my first actual Dragon Age love. I was more or less hooked after that. DA was actually not my first Bioware game, I was obsessed with Jade Empire as a kid so like Origins appealed to me immediately despite being far less fun to play than literally any other Bioware game I’ve ever played. The characters and world more than made up for it.
I beat it relatively quickly and my dad bought Dragon Age II which had come out earlier that day, actually against my suggestion because I’d heard it wasn’t good. And in this instance my dad forgetting something I said turned out for the best because I ended up enjoying DAII more in some respects. While it took me a while to join the fandom as a content producer I was a consumer and certified DA trash from then on.
2. Have you finished all three games? | asked by @kaaras-adaar
Kskjdfs yes. I’ve beaten each at least 4 times, but probably more like 8. The only thing I haven’t played are some of the Origins DLC because as much as I enjoy my replays I am so ready to be out by the end of the game (and I have the worst luck with Awakening bugs) and I also don’t have Sebastians DLC b/c his never goes on sale individually and I refuse to spend more than like $4 on him.
3. How long did it take you to finish the series? | asked by @kaaras-adaar
I honestly don’t know. I think it took me like a week to beat Inquisition without 100%ing it, I’d say my first playthroughs all probably took about that long. I tend not to do everything in my first playthrough. Like shard collecting didn’t happen until round two, etc.
7. Favorite DA:O backstory? | asked by @dreamerlavellan & @fatefaulted
I’ve played through all of them and I enjoy them all except Cousland, but my favourite is Aeducan. I enjoy the politics, the culture, the aesthetic of Orzammar. I love Gorim Saelac and the surprising amount of depth to this character who is designed to be thrown away after the prologue. I love how it ties you to the Darkspawn threat in a bigger way than any of the origins accomplish. I love how it ties you to the Orzammar plot later in the game, and playing Aeducan first is probably one reason why I adore that branch of the game. It’s a good origin that establishes its world really well and has great characters to boot.
11. Share a pic of your favorite OC from any DA game. | asked by @dreamerlavellan
I just want to share pics of my girl and Solas’ future husband.
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Ian Lavellan, non-Inquisitor written by @theshirallen
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Thora Cadash, dwarven Inquisitor and default Inquisitor for this blog written by... me lmao.
22. Favorite DA2 party combo? | asked by @fatefaulted
My main Hawke is a mage Hawke, so this party is horrendously imbalanced, but: Varric, Merrill, Isabela. They all just like each other and I think that’s neat. Although in act one my favourite is probably Carver, Merrill, Isabela / Varric. Unfortunately the game doesn’t want me to have a warrior in my party.
24. Favorite main-story quest from DA:I? | asked by @kaaras-adaar
It’s hard to pick between In Hushed Whispers and In Your Heart Shall Burn. I love seeing the red lyrium’d companions and the dark future of Thedas, and speculating on what happened in the intervening year. I love reflecting on what it must do for the Inquisitor to see that and have it be undone. I think it sets up the rest of the game really well, and in ways Champions of the Just doesn’t do quite as well.
In Your Heart Shall burn is a simpler quest but I think the power and emotions in the quest are so raw. Playing this the first time was riveting and I was on the edge of my seat. The triumph of closing the Breach, the strangeness of your first encounter with Cole (whose appearance at the gates is another reason I prefer IHW tbh, I think it’s more tension building than Dorian’s), Corypheus, crawling through the snow. Capping it off with The Dawn Will Come and the journey to Skyhold idk, it’s just such an emotional high point in the series that every time I replay I get goosebumps.
25. Favorite DA:I place? | asked by @fatefaulted
It’s a tie between the Frostback Basin and the Emerald Graves. I love the lore in both, as elf trash I prefer the lore in the graves especially if I can include the Din’an Hanin into that category. But the Avvar lore and Ameridan is also Very Good, and while I adore the giant trees of the graves the Frostback Basin clearly was able to have more resources poured into its design, and as a result the different sections of the map have so much more character.
A close runner-up is the Hinterlands, as I think the quests there are fun and it feels like home. I enjoy returning to it. Which is good, b/c I’ve played through it... a lot... I think loving it might be a coping mechanism, but also I love the vibe of the early game that’s best captured in the Hinterlands.
32. Favorite DLC mission overall? | asked by @fatefaulted
Trespasser is up there with Shivering Isles as my favourite DLC ever produced. Its hits every emotional beat I think it needed to hit, set up the next game with greater detail and intrigue than the initial epilogue, and I’m honestly dying to get to replay it again on Thora despite what it does to my nerves. The first time I played it I could feel my heart beating faster like wtf me.
37. Blood magic: yes or no? | asked by @hopewrought​
Would I use it myself? No. Morally I think it can be reprehensible but also neutral, much like any other magic in the game. In certain characters I think even if used for good it may encourage unhealthy habits, but I think it can be learned to be engaged with in better ways.
59. Who was written really poorly? | asked by @theshirallen you can’t hide behind anon I know it was you
Oghren fucking Kondrat. When I think about the reasons Origins is my least favourite game he is among them. With Oghren there was a really good chance to portray an alcoholic abuse victim, suffering from severe mental health issues, and still mourning his wife, with the respect it deserves. Instead he just... is a gross sexist dwarf and his alcoholism is mostly played for jokes. And then he comes back in Awakening and... continues to be a gross sexist dwarf whose alcoholism is mostly played for jokes.
There could have been some really interesting stuff with Oghren, the Warrior caste of dwarves I think would suffer from issues similar to qunari warriors, where when they can no longer fill the purpose society has dictated they must serve, what then? They can’t do anything but fight. There could be comradery with Sten, or perhaps Zevran or Alistair, or any of the companions who have had the path their lives took dictated to them by societal forces they had no say in (even if they are happy with that direction). There are snippets of good stuff in here, the line “let us show them our hearts, Warden, and then show them theirs” is one of the best of the good-byes the game offers us imo. It’s a shame about what came before.
Like there are other characters, such as Sera, who I think were done dirty by their writers, but Sera at least got some growth in the DLC and there were attempts to address criticism of her character. Oghren in Awakening was just kind of a take two of an already poorly-done arc.
60. Who do you wish had been given more story? | asked by @hopewrought​
I wish Briala had more, like that she had some impact on the story in universes where Gaspard isn’t crowned with her as his puppetmaster. She and the elves reappears in that but not if you reunite her with Celene or exile her, and I think it would’ve been neat. I also wish she’d had a chance to interact with Solas in some small way given how many parallels were drawn by one of his own agents during Masked Empire.
I also wish we had more about dwarves in general in 2 and Inquisition. We get some great lore in Inquisition that was set up in 2, but with our only dwarf companion being Varric, who honestly has a relationship with his race that at times is comparable to Sera’s, it pulls a few of its punches. I really think they have dwarves set up to be important players in the next game, with their architecture featuring heavily in the dev diary, buuut no dwarves to be seen. So who knows. Just give me dwarves in the next game who aren’t Varric Bioware pls. Let me kiss one maybe.
61. Favorite NPC? | asked by @kaaras-adaar​
I’m not going to count advisors even though they kinda are NPCs and I’m going to answer one for each game so uhh...
Origins - Anora
DA2 - Feynriel
DA:I - Krem
Bonus - Lord Woolsley, the only unproblematic DA character
63. Best story moment? | asked by @ghilannainguideme
It’s a tie between the journey to Skyhold and the talk with Solas at the end of Trespasser and the resulting disbanding of the Inquisition (if you so choose). I really can’t separate them because I think the reason Trespasser works so well is how it calls back to the very beginning of Inquisition and that moment with Solas in the snow. It’s triumphant and sad, something’s ending, the fellowship is breaking, but you know all of you will continue to work towards a better world apart.
In DA:O I think it’d be saying good-bye before the final battle and in DA2 I think the moment where you can tell the Arishok he was right to take in the elves who killed that guardmen is good. Probably one of the reasons why I think Hawke-Arishok work so well as a protagonist-antagonist combination.
81. Favorite fanfic? | asked by @ghilannainguideme​
I don’t read a lot of fanfic, actually. Save what I read on here, which I do count, but idk if other people do.
My favourite writers to read are @theshirallen​, obviously. Joly wants to tweakIan’s personal quest but I think the version they have written now is still very good and you can find it here. I love reading Peace’s stuff and find their smut especially spicy in the best possible way, you can find a Merrill/f!Mahariel piece here! Gaia doesn’t write on Tumblr much these days, but she wrote a wonderful Tug/Sketch (the companions from Leliana’s Song) that you can find here.
I follow so many talented writers and I can’t list them all but here are a few I can fire off real fast: @theshirallen / @ghilannainguideme / @seahaloed / @sabraelin / @valorcorrupt / @mercysought / @hopewrought / @ofrevas / @skyheld have all moved me with their words at some point, be it in fic or rp.
82. Favorite fanart/fanartist? | asked by @ghilannainguideme
Again I just can’t choose jsdfks.
The easiest way is to just link my Solas fanart tag. Obviously this favours Solas artists, however, so also here’s a link to thedaswlw where there’s a boatload of amazing fanart all of wlw.
Of people I’m mutuals with I know @abracafockyou, @kaaras-adaar, @dalathin (currently inactive but I gotta link them), and @syntharts​ are all very talented artists.  I’m also a big fan of destinyapostacy, nipuni, elbenherzart, starscollected (on twitter), and many more.
97. What’s your favorite DA mod? | asked by @ghilannainguideme​ & @hopewrought​
I’ll chose one as many as I want to apparently from each game again, b/c why not?
DA:O - I have to admit I find this game hard to mod because nothing can really salvage the gameplay or look of the game. I need Better Dwarf Model so I don’t have to look at the odd dwarf proportions in the game (the women have arms for days). Mostly I have armour mods. I like Grey Wardens of Ferelden so I can match Alistair in the final batte and have everyone in uniforms in Awakening. I do like Kirkwall Exports because I can put Zevran in the robes of the notorious pirate tho. I haven’t used this mod yet but I also love this mod I retweeted this morning.
DA2 - Again, I don’t mod 2 very much. You could probably make some kind of chart for correlating my enjoyment of a game versus my urge to mod it, with the more I love a game means I want to mod it more. With 2 I enjoy the combat and overall design of the characters more so I mostly use a couple of tweaks, my favourite is Ishs Scarf for Merrill which just adds a cute blue scarf to Merrill and hides the fact that elves in this game have weirdly long necks. Oh and a mod to fix the weird hand dirt.
DA:I - Equal Opportunity Solas mod, I bought the game again on PC just to use it. Being able to play Solas/Ian for screencaps was everything tbh. Other mods I enjoy are More Banter, which while I have better luck with banter it is nice to be able to count on it. I installed it this latest pt and I have heard location comments that have never triggered before. Black Hair for Everyone has changed my life because finally Thora doesn’t have grey hair. No Dirt Buildup is also amazing, as the dirt can cause some really weird blotting on PCs that’s especially noticeable on dark-skinned Inquisitors.
99. Where would you live (Ferelden, Orlais, Free Marches etc?) | asked by @heysales​​
Probably Ferelden. It is fantasy England and hey if I make it past Inquisition maybe nothing will ever happen there again. Somewhere in the Free Marches might also be chill. Not Kirkwall. Maybe Starkhaven? Honestly tho I just want to live in the Frostback Basin. Have a spirit friend. Shake hands with nugs.
101. If you could meet your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor, what would you say? | asked by @dreamerlavellan​
If I met Thora I’d tell her I’m proud of her. She’d be confused, but that’s ok.
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bluebellhairpin · 6 years
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The Girl Who Knew The End
An Uninvited Guest
Thorin Oakenshield X Fem!Reader
Chapter One // (You’re Here!)
Chapter Two // Lullaby Of Woe
A/N: Something I wrote up because I’m trash for Thorin (and re-watching The Hobbit), and also trash myself for writing this instead of literally anything in my list. - Nemo
Summary: You were cast into Middle Earth, worlds away from your home and family, to find yourself stuck on the wrong side of a set of Mountains and following the advice of the wizard know as Gandalf. After a long and unyielding journey to Bag End, you find yourself stuck. The leader of the group doesn’t seem you fit to join them in the one thing you believe you were sent for; To keep the line of Duirn alive after the Battle of Five Armies. 
Series Masterlist 
Masterlist   
{Edited 24-02-2020}
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You had no idea what you were supposed to do while you were here, all you knew was that you served a purpose. So when you crossed paths with Gandalf just near The Brown Lands, you were surprised to find he was almost clear in stating where you needed to go. 
Which just so happened to be Bag End, over the other side of the map that was supplied in the bag that showed up next to you when you woke. Also in your ‘magic bag’ was a few months worth of salted meat and bread, a sword, a dagger, and a picture of the family you left behind in your old world. 
You also, just-so-happened, to have woken up in clothes fit for a cold cross-country trip. You had leather fur arm wraps, knee-high combat boots and a hooded cloak, both also lined with fur, a black surcoat, and thick woolen leggings. They all came in very handy on your trip, considering the cold days, and even colder nights. 
You soon found your way over the Misty Mountains, towards Bree, and by the time you'd made it to Bag End on the night Gandalf said you should be there by, you had already quite a journey and story to tell. 
As you entered the parlor of the Hobbit-Hole, you walked through the east hall into the atrium the dwarfs in your eye line went silent. You were relieved to see that everyone - including Gandalf and Thorin - had arrived already, and Thorin had been given the key to Lonely Mountain. Bilbo followed their gazes and looked over at you, as did Thorin and Gandalf, the other dwarfs moved to try and see you better.
“And who might you be?” Bilbo asked, already irritated from his unexpected guests, but by the dwarfs reaction he guessed you were definitely uninvited, and therefore was even less pleased. 
“She’s here to help.” Gandalf said as he sat back up. You walked to stand next to Thorin’s unoccupied side. 
“Exactly.” You nodded, smiling lightly thinking about how amazing it was to be with all these dwarfs in person instead of behind a screen. It was awesome, in the most awe-inspiring way. “I’m here to help you take back the Mountain.”
“Why might we need your help?” Thorin started, ruining your pleasant mood and standing to loom over your newly shrunken body. “You aren’t a dwarf, too small, too weak. You’re no Hobbit either. What could you possibly do to help us?” You eyed Thorin, wondering if he was really being so hostile to a stranger. 
“I know how your story ends, Thorin Oakenshield,” you hissed, leaning your head back. Dwarfs really were stubborn creatures, “And I wouldn’t have traveled all the way from The Brown Lands to help you if I didn’t think I could help properly. Gandalf wouldn’t have told me to come if he thought I was too weak or small.” All eyes then turned to Gandalf, of which was pretending he hadn’t quite heard you.
“I’ve already told you she’s here to help.” he said promptly after a once over of the group. 
“I vote for her coming!” Fili said, a smile cracking onto his face as he playfully hit his brother on the shoulder. “We could use a pretty lass in amongst us.” 
“I’ll have you know I don’t want to be objectified. I might be the only woman coming on this journey, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let anyone here degrade me.” You said bitterly, looking over at the two younger dwarves with stern eyes, a quiet falling into the group as the laughter died down. 
“I don’t wish to sound like I’m doing what you just asked me not to do, but I want you to know that I think you are really, really pretty.” Ori said shyly, breaking the silence after you spoke. You breathed out a laugh, shaking your head as you stuffed your hands beneath your sword belt. 
“Thanks Ori.” The Company went into an uproar once more, partially out of frustration and annoyance that Ori was the first to tell you his thoughts - and the apparent truth, and partially out of confusion as to how you knew his name even though you just got here. 
“What is your name, as what skills would you bring? Apart from ‘knowing how my story ends’?” Thorin asked, and you turned your attention away from the bickering dwarfs to answer.
“My name is (y/n), of Tharbad. I can use a sword well, I’m a quick thinker, and I can hold my own in a fight-”
“Fight against what? An elf?” he asked, making your eye twitch in frustration. Why did he hate you so much? Was he really that emotionless when it came to others? Gandalf noticed your dilemma and the stubbornness of the King and intervened for you. 
“Not elves, but she has had her fair share of orcs and trolls.” he said as you turned away slightly to regain your composure, missing the slight flashes of hurt and regret on Thorin’s face before he spoke.
“I didn’t know.” Thorin said.
“You couldn’t have known. It’s not like you know me.” You replied, letting out a short laugh.
“So is she coming?” Bilbo asked, popping himself into Thorin and your conversation. “Because I’d feel more comfortable coming with someone who knows what’s going to happen coming too.” He finished. Thorin took a few more moments to think, looking you up and down as he did so. 
“I guess she can. The worst she could do to us is die.” 
“I can see how grateful you are to my offer, Thorin. I shall take my leave instead of staying around.” you said and made your way back out of Bilbo’s house and into the crisp night air, Bilbo himself coming after you almost pleading with you to stay or make everyone else leave with you. 
“Get her back here Thorin.” Gandalf said, peering down at the dwarf with narrowed eyes.
“Why should I? She’ll be nothing but trouble, even if she can hold her own in battles.” Thorin said, his irrationality kicking in again. 
“You need her. You yourself noted she was neither Hobbit or Dwarf, and have you seen a human that small before?” With Gandalf’s explanation Thorin seemed to slowly understand. “She is not of this world. She was sent from another specifically to help you reclaim Erebor and keep those close to you safe until then. She’s suffered at the hands of this world’s forces to be here tonight, if that alone isn’t enough reason to let her stay with you then you have a denser skull than I remembered.” 
Thorin looked over a Balin, of which was listening to Gandalf's words and nodded at Thorin to go after you. He clenched his jaw, let out a yell of frustration, then stormed out to push past Bilbo towards where you went. 
“(y/n), wait.” Thorin said, catching up to you a little ways down the path. You turned, your eyes flashing (e/c) from under your fur hood, daring the king to speak again. “You will come with us as Gandalf is advising, and… I’ll try to act more agreeable towards you.” He explained, his eyes falling to the hem of your surcoat as he stood up straighter. 
“Less like a jerk, more like a King, you mean?” you said, tilting your head as a light smirk reached your lips. 
“I suppose so.” Thorin said through gritted teeth. He sensed you’d be the death of him; of he of you if you both kept this up. “Especially if you decide to be nice in turn.”
“Oh, your majesty, I'm only nice to those who give me a reason to.” Thorin tenced more at your quip, feeling his frustration rise as did his urge to yell at you to leave again. You noticed this, your smirk widening. “Careful there King Thorin, you might blow a fuse again.” you said, walking passed him and back towards Bilbo’s.
“If you want to vex me more I’ll-”
“You’ll what?” you turned, facing the equally angry dwarf, of which was now eye-level to you from the hills slope. “You’ll let - no, force - me to leave and let your fate, and the fate of the rest of the Company reach the same end that I’ve seen, and trust me - you don’t want what’s coming!”
“Well what choice do you give me when you act like such a nettler.” 
“Says he who is nothing but a prig.” your comment silenced Thorin, your eyes locked in a fierce hold. “You may be a king but that doesn’t mean you can be pardoned for acting so horrendously. Even so I will strike a deal with you, for the fate I see coming is one that won't affect you so greatly.” 
Back in your world you liked Thorin quite a bit, but if he was going to act like such a prick you decided at that moment that you wouldn’t care much if he died.
Your words hurt Thorin. Gandalf said you were here to help and keep those of the Company safe - you knew their future - if you were saying that he wasn’t going to be affected it must’ve ment someone else. That alone made him more lenient.  
“What do you suggest then?”
“A truce, of sorts.” you started with a shrug, meeting Thorin’s blue eyes once more. “We shan’t speak unless completely necessary, travel at separate ends of the party, and sleep as far away from each other as we can. Limited contact should make you more bearable.” You finished with a half-smile of sorts. 
“I’d have to agree. It sure sounds inviting.” Thorin returned the smile slightly.
“We have a deal then?” you asked, sticking your hand out for him to shake. He grabbed hold of your hand, holding it a little too tight.
“Deal.”
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Happier Here Than There (Part 4)
Ship: Eventual Thranduil/Reader Rating: General Warnings: None Tags: Middle Earth, Reader-Insert
Summary: Imagine ending up in Middle Earth at the edge of Mirkwood Forest. When you venture into the forest, you are attacked by spiders before being saved by guards and taken before the king.
Word Count: 1856
Written for: @welcome-to-fangirl-hell
A/N: This fic, and basically this series since it might not have started without her request, is dedicated to Ammy because I said on one of her posts that I was thinking of doing a Thranduil/Reader fic and I asked if she would tag me in hers when she made one and that I would do the same so, here it is! I hope all of you enjoy this series and please let me know what you think of it!
AO3 Link
Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13
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~*~*  THIS STORY TAKES PLACE A FEW DECADES BEFORE SMAUG ATTACKS EREBOR *~*~
~~ For Ones • All Elves have a One • There is only one One a lifetime • If the elf’s one is mortal, when the two mate, the mortal becomes immortal and tied to the elf (Yes, I know that it doesn’t go like that canonically but in my ‘verse, it does. Don’t like, don’t read.)
Translations:
Ellon- Male elf
^^ Translations will be at the bottom as well
This place sucks, you think as an elf knocks on your door at what seems like too early in the morning, especially after the night you had. You stand up and walk over to your door and open it, not caring about how your hair stood up in different directions in several places. At your door stood the elf that brought you to your room yesterday. His name is Galion, right? “King Thranduil requests your presence in the library, my lady.” “Oh, uh, okay. Your name is Galion, right?” “Yes.” “Okay, Galion. Considering I have absolutely no clue as to where the library is and I most likely look horrendous right now, do you mind waiting out here while I get ready so that you can show me to the library?” You say, anxiously brushing your hair down with your hand. “I was planning to do that anyway, my lady. I shall wait out here while you get ready.” “Thank you so much. I’ll be ready in a jiffy.” You say before closing the door. Going over to the wardrobe that you were given, you wonder why Thranduil would want to see you. As far as you knew, you had done nothing wrong. Maybe another conversation about your world? Or one about his? Looking through your wardrobe, you find a simple but beautiful red gown with orange outlining the shapes of leaves. Taking it out, you lay it on your bed as you go to the bathroom to do your morning duties which are a lot faster since you don’t have makeup. You take your sleeping gown off walking to the bed before slipping on the gown onto your body. Now, what shoes? you think as you walk back over to the wardrobe. Looking at the shoes, you find an equally simple but beautiful pair of boots that are red on the top but gradually fade into orange going down. Perfect. After slipping the boots on, you walk over to the bed and sit down as you unbraid your hair, letting the loose curls fall. Grabbing a brush, you run it through your hair and looking in the mirror to look at yourself, you deem it well enough to walk in public. You open the door to see Galion standing on the other side of the hallway, waiting. You walk over to him and ask, “So, how do I look? Not too other-world-ish?” Galion stares at you for a moment before speaking, “Not at all except for the curly hair.” “What? Are you saying that no one in this entire kingdom has curly hair?” You ask shocked. “Elves do not have curly hair. We keep our hair long and straight.” Galion answers. “Shall we go?” “Yes.” “Alright then, follow me.” And with that, you’re off following Galion through the halls of Mirkwood.
“So, is there anything really important that I should know since I’m living here for the time being?” You ask, wanting to break the somewhat awkward silence. “You should know that elves in general are not welcome of outsiders. There aren’t a lot of us that are welcome of outsiders so until you figure out who those people are, try not to do anything extravagant or odd.” “So, basically as if I’m at a formal event except it goes on for a really long time?” “Yes, exactly.” “Are you one of those welcoming elves, Galion?” “If you knew how old I was I’m sure that you would be surprised to hear that, yes, I am.” “Why would I be surprised?” “Usually when someone meets someone old, they think that they are completely disapproving of everything that isn’t the old ways.” “Come on, you can’t be that old. What are you, 32? 35?” “Older.” Galion says, the corners of his mouth turning up a little. “What? No way. 38? You can’t be more than 40. How old are you?” “7363.” You stop walking, shocked by his answer. “I’m sorry, I must have heard you wrong. Did you say that you were 7363?!” Galion turns towards you, smiling a bit, “Yes.” “H- How?! No one lives that long!” “Elves do. Elves are immortal.” “Oh. I had no idea. That makes some sense actually.” You say, making Galion chuckle a bit. You walk to the side of him and start walking again. “So, is Thranduil a welcoming elf?” “Well, Thranduil is complicated and he has every right to be. He’s had a hard life which you can ask him about, it is not my place to tell his life story to you. There are times he can be welcoming and nice but then there are times when he can be cold and unforgiving. If you weren’t as tall as you are, he probably would’ve thought you were the offspring of a man and dwarf and thrown you in the dungeons. But he se-“ “Wait, dwarves? There are dwarves?” “Yes, they are quite short, stubborn, little things with the worst manners you’ve ever seen.” “Oh, okay. Sorry, go on.” “Thranduil seems to have taken to you. I haven’t seen him do that for a few thousand years.” “How old is Thranduil?” “7353. I am 10 years older than him.” “Wow. Oh, I have a question and you seem like the person to ask.” “What is it?” “That blonde elf that looks like Thranduil. He was like the leader of the elves that brought me in. Who is he?” “That would be Prince Legolas. Legolas is Thranduil’s son.” “So I was right! I figured they were related somehow. The silver hair and the blue eyes gave it away.” “They do look a lot alike, don’t they?” “Yes, they do. I’m guessing that Legolas is like 6000 years old?” “Oh no, not at all. He hasn’t even hit his third millennia yet. He’s still a young ellon.” “Ellon?” “It means ‘male elf’ in Sindarin. Sindarin is the language that you’ve been hearing, by the way.” “So that’s what it is! Okay, I’ve been trying to figure out what it was. Do all the elves here know English?” “English? What’s English?” “Uh, the language that we’re speaking right now.” “Oh, okay. We call it the ‘Common Tongue’ in Middle Earth.’” “Okay, got it. Do all the elves speak Common Tongue?” “Yes, all of us speak it. So, you shouldn’t have a problem with not understanding anyone. Just start speaking how we are and they should repeat what they said in the Common Tongue.” “Will they talk about me behind my back in Sindarin?” “Some of them might. But any that I or the king hears, will be shut down immediately.” “Okay, good to know.” “What will Galion and I be shutting down?” You whip your head forward, seeing that you were about to walk into King Thranduil. “Oh, um, Galion was just assuring me that the two of you will stop anyone who talks bad about me in Sindarin when I cannot even understand them.” You explain, not knowing why but feeling intimidated by the elven king. “To speak for myself, I promise you that I will not let anyone do that. It will not be tolerated in my kingdom.” Thranduil says, looking into your eyes. You stare into his beautifully blue eyes that you could get lost in just glancing at them. “I was wondering if somehow the two of you got lost and came looking for you myself.” “Y/N had just woken up and she had to get ready before I brought her to the library, my lord.” Galion answers. “Galion, how many times do I have to tell you not to be so formal when we are not around other elves?” Thranduil asks, giving one of the best eye rolls you’ve ever seen. “How many more times is it going to happen for you to realize that I’m teasing you?” Galion snarks back, smirking a little. Thranduil sighs, “I’m adding this moment to the mile long list of moments that I don’t kick you out of the kingdom when I really should.” You smile as Galion turns around and walks away while saying, “You would be lost without me, Thranduil!” “I believe it would be you that would be the lost one.” “No, I’m pretty sure it would be you considering I taught you everything you know.” Galion answers, turning a corner and going out of sight, making you laugh. “One day I’m going to kick him out of the kingdom.” “Uh huh, I’m sure you are.” You say, chuckling. “Shall we go to the library?” Thranduil asks. “Yes, we shall.” You say, starting to walk beside Thranduil. “So, why exactly am I being summoned by the king to the library?” “I was going to write the letter to the White Council asking for help to get you home but I thought that you should be there for it since you might be able to give me more information.” “Oh, well I pretty much gave you all of the information I had. I dozed off in my world before waking up at the edge of your forest.” “There was nothing else? No one else wherever you were when you dozed off?” “No, I locked all of the doors and windows of my apartment and I checked all the rooms before I went to bed.” “Well, you should still be there when I write the letter.” Thranduil says, nodding at two guards outside of two extremely large, detailed doors. The guards start opening the doors as you get closer to them. “Yeah, that’s true. It would make sense for... Wow.” You agree before trailing off as you walk into the library.
The room opened up with the tallest shelves you’ve ever seen and on either side of them are winding staircases that take you to different levels of the shelves that were full of books. It was one of the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen. “Y/N? Are you coming?” Thranduil asks, snapping you out of your reverie. You look at him, noticing that he was a few feet in front of you as you had stopped walking to take in the view. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I’m just a big nerd and was admiring all the books.” You say, walking up to him. Thranduil just smiles and leads you farther into the library to an area with tables and chairs. “After we finish this letter, I will show you the section of books that are written in the common tongue.” You turn towards him with a look of awe on your face, “Really?” Thranduil looks back at you, amused at your love of books and nods, “I’m not sure I have much of a choice now.” You chuckle, “You don’t.” Thranduil chuckles, leading the two of you to a table that already has paper, a quill with ink, and a couple candles lit for light. You sit down on one side of the table as Thranduil sits on the other side. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Thranduil says, picking up the quill. “So, tell me again what exactly happened. Include as many details as you can.”
Translations:
Ellon- Male elf
^^ Translations will be at the top as well
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought about it!
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mrsmarymorstan · 8 years
Text
Bed Time Stories
So I was listening to “Thud!” from the Discworld series and my heart absolutely melted at the scene where Vimes reads to Young Sam. I then sent a WhatsApp message to @cersei-the-truth-bombardier​ telling her as such, and then proceeded to go to a Fígrid AU which then turned into mild angst which turned into me sending Cersei figrid drabbles at 9am my time whilst she was fast asleep. I’ve tidied it up and put it on here for you all to enjoy as well. 
Rune stones were more than just talismans. They were oaths, promises put down in unbreakable, everlasting stone. Once accepted they could not be returned and you had to fulfill the promise or else face the consequences. Fìli held a runestone in his pocket at all times. It said "amkubê" which meant 6:00pm, every day, landslide or gold rush. It more often than not also meant running, panicking and a few insulted noblemen. "I don't see why their nanny can't do it! What's the point in having one if you don't use them." Huffed Lord Flòki. "If he'd have just seen sense married an actual dwarf he'd not be in this mess." Added Lady Unna snidely. However Crowned Prince Fìli had already fled the room. There were more important things in life than mining rights and clan disputes. "Now come on you dirty little badgers and settle down before your father gets here!" "Too late, he's already here!" Said Eikin smugly, twisting round mid jump. His sister, Éolist, let out a war cry and hurled herself towards her father. Fìli gave out a theatrical winded noise. "Ambushed in my own Kingdom!" He cried, securing his grasp around Éolist as she pretended to fight him off. It was a game he remembered playing with his own father. Her brother went back to bouncing on the bed, this time out of excitement. The blankets were a complete mess and the general chatter suggested that bedtime was all but canceled.
"Eikin, Éolist,” warned their nanny, a raging fire burning in her eyes now “if you don't behave I will make certain that there will be no story tonight at all, or any night there after!” "No, Dara, it’s fine! Leave them to me. I'm their father, I've got this." Dara gave out an unconvinced noise but left them to it nonetheless. Despite her words she’d never actually stop Fìli from reading to them. She knew how much it all meant to them, especially to Lady Sigrid.   "Come on you two," Fìli sighed, dropping Éolist onto the bed where she promptly pulled on her brother's ankles to drag him down with her "You should be nicer to Dara, she's the one who has to run everything around here." "Yeah, but you're the Crowned Prince. So really we just need to be nice to you." "No we don't! We need to be nice to Uncle Thorin because he's the King." Fìli let out a noise of dramatic hurt "Well! If you would rather have Uncle Thorin here I can go get Uncle--" "Nooo!" Chorused the twins, reaching out to grab him by the sleeve. "We're sorry! We'll be good!" "We promise! Please stay, please!" "Well alright then." Sighed Fìli, flopping down into his chair again, trying his best to hide his smile at their triumphant cheers.  "So what story do you want to hear, the three little goats? The Raven and the mining stone? Snow Beard and the seven elves?" "The princess and the dwarf!" They said in unison. "Again?" he asked, raising a weary eyebrow. That story always took it out of him. So many years on, and it was still mingled with same pain and happiness. He wanted all his children to know it, the twins most of all, but it didn't make it any easier for him. "Yep! It's our favourite." grinned Éolist "Plus you can never do the voices right for the 3 goats; Uncle Kìli can though." "But we don't want him we want you!" Added Eikin quickly, ignoring his sister before she could get them into anymore trouble. "Alright fine, but you better keep quiet during it." The pair of them nodded, and crawled closer to listen. "Well, as you are both aware," he began "every dwarf knows the story of Smaug the terrible and how a band of silly dwarves, and one brave hobbit, set out to defeat him and reclaim their home." Fìli always made certain to include Bilbo in the story. Without him they would all have died a hundred times over. "Some even tell the story of Elven Siren's seduction of the innocent Dwarf Prince," "That one's rubbish though," whispered Éolist "everyone knows Auntie Tauriel's the one who got seduced." "But, the one they often miss off," Fìli continued, ignoring his daughter's very accurate statement "is the story of the young princess and the simple dwarf who fell in love with her." The kids squished closer towards him, Eikin clambering into his lap whilst Éolist snuggled deeper into his arms. They curled up close to his warmth, and their large blue eyes made Fìli's heart melt just as it had when they'd first opened them. He took a breath, and continued on with their story. "The princess was not always a princess you see. Whilst she was brave, and kind, and beautiful and all the other qualities a princess should be;” Éolist gave a snort of laughter at that but didn’t interrupt any further “the girl was in actual fact, the daughter of a bargeman. Her mother had died very young and so she had to play mother to her two siblings. But the princess did not mind, for she loved her family more than anything else. "Her family were very poor though, and as such her father had to take up some less than legal practices. One day he returned to their house with 13 dwarves and one hobbit. They gave her quite the shock when they climbed up out of the princess' toilet! "Yet still she showed them kindness, handing out warm blankets and clean clothes. She even made them tea, though some were not as grateful as they should have been. “Later that night, the dwarves snuck out the house to try and steal some weapons to get to the mountain, but were caught in the act and almost arrested! But they promised the town that if they helped the dwarves get to the mountain, then they would reward them with piles of silver and gold. "The Bargeman warned them all about what their task would involve, but the silly dwarves ignored him. "What some of them didn't know, though, was that one of the dwarves them had been injured on the journey by a poisoned wound from an orc's arrow. His leader refused to let him come with them to the mountain, but the dwarf's brother had made a promise not to leave him. They went looking for help but the only home that would take them in was that of the princess. "She set about trying to fix is wound as best she could, using every skill she knew. When the orcs came she tried her best to protect her little sister, just as the dwarf tried to protect his brother. When the elves came and saved the dwarves, the Princess got back to helping them. Slowly the dwarf's brother got better! In that moment of peace the dwarf and the princess talked about their lives and about each other. They had a lot more in common than one might think at first.
When the dragon came down from the mountain they all escaped in a boat together, the princess making sure they all had hats and scarves to keep them warm. She did not waver, even though her father was missing and she was about to lose be everything that she'd ever known. Their house, filled with all the memories of her mother, would be burnt to cinders. By the will of the Valar they'd somehow all survived. It was even the princess' own  father and brother who worked together to kill the dragon, bringing an end to his terror in a way the dwarves had never managed. "Later by the shore the dwarves set out to find out if their own family had survived. The dwarf tried to return the princess' scarf however she refused it, claiming that he could return it to her later once all things were settled. "All the meanwhile though, the orcs had been planning their next attack and so as soon the princess and the dwarf were thrown together they were torn apart. There was a battle you see, as everyone tried to defend the mountain from the attacking orcs. It was not the kind of battle you hear about in legends where the good survive and the evil die, for this was a real battle and that meant blood. Elves, men and dwarves all gave their lives so as the mountain would remain a stronghold to keep people safe in the future.”
When he became a father himself, Fìli had sworn to never glorify the battle. He knew now that they were not glorious or noble, they were filled with pain and suffering. Battles were best avoided, if they could be. That way you understood why you were fighting the ones you needed to.
“The dwarf had thought himself to have died on the battlefield when he’d taken a sword to the chest, yet a voice inside him kept him fighting and when he awoke it was to the princess' melody. She'd been caring for him. Cleaning his dressings and keeping infection at bay, all the while singing a gentle tune. “Once more, the dwarf tried to return her scarf but again, she refused; it was winter, and he would still have use for it. The dwarf argued back that she would need it too, but she insisted on calling it a gift. The dwarf cherished it more than any gift he'd had before. “He healed and slowly life returned to the mountain. The men had set up a new home and the two nations began to broker a lasting peace. The dwarf and the princess wrote many letters to one another in that time, and slowly grew to know each other more deeply than they'd have ever thought possible. They shared their hopes, their worries and the nightmares that still plagued them of the horrendous sights they'd seen. If you were to read those letters you would see the deep love they bore. “However, this was apparently not so clear to them themselves. A dwarf and a man was not a relationship people had heard of before. Indeed, it was not until the subject of marriage was raised that they even realised what they were feeling. You see, for men, finding a spouse is not about discovering your One and sharing that love with the rest of the world; it was a business contract, especially true amongst royals whose marriages were often used to seal political alliances. “The dwarf understood this. Or at least he attempted to. However he could not stand the fact that she was to be married to someone she had not even met. He tried to be respectful, however his fear that she would be unhappy ate away at him morning, noon and night. “He ended up going down to the city to speak to her. He wanted to be sure that she was happy to be married in this way. She smiled and she claimed excitement over her wedding preparations but the dwarf could see that it was faking it all. “He told her this. That he could not stand by and watch the princess marry for anything other than love. “In surprised fury, she asked him who else she could marry? Who else would give her people all they needed? If she married then it would mean her siblings could avoid the same fate. Plus it wasn't as though there was someone else waiting for her! “But the dwarf realised that there was. He didn't know how to say it though. So instead he respected her wishes and left her alone.
“The day of the finally wedding ticked around. The dwarf felt powerless to stop it. There could be nothing else anyone could do. “He still went to the wedding though, for even if she did not return his feelings then he could at least remain her friend. To everyone's surprise though the wedding was stopped in mid ceremony! Not by the princess as you might think, but by her groom! He told the room that he could not marry the princess because it would not be fair on her to be married to someone who could never love her the way she deserved. He would not allow his own heart's desires to be ignored anymore. He fled the building, leaving everyone in total uproar. "The dwarf was in a fuming rage that anyone could possibly hurt his beloved in this way! He went to find her, thinking her to be in tears but instead she was laughing. "The dwarf asked her why, and she confessed that she'd considered doing the exact same thing; except her groom had got there first. "The dwarf was confused. Who could it be she was in love with? "The princess laughed and told him he really was sillier than any dwarf in the land and kissed him. It was the kind of kiss you hear about in fairy tales. A kiss of true love that makes all the world come to a stand still. “Though many would try and stop them from being together, they never let it bother them. The pair of them married, and never were they happier than when they were together. And despite what many might have said, their love made the kingdom stronger, and so they lived happily ever after, till the end of their days." There was silence for a moment. Fìli involuntarily pulled his children closer to him, feeling suddenly desperate to never let them go. "I miss Mam." came a small voice at last. "Me too my little Colt. Me too." "I wish she could tell us the story instead, Frerin said she was really good at bed time stories." "Kendra said she was much better at telling your story than you ever were." Fìli gave a small chuckle, willing himself not to cry. It wasn't fair that they did not know their mother. They were only twenty-four when she'd died. The healers had said it was her heart. Sudden attacks like that were not unexpected at her age. But sixty was no age for a dwarf.
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