#it’s cathartic I highly recommend it LOL

[macksartblock]

Every time I see a sad post about Normal post finale, I mentally put him at a Bridgerton watch party w/ like five older queers all dressed in regency garb

[creepyscritches]

Ough I never mentioned but I found everything up to Baptism of Fire in older pre-netflix prints at the used bookstore heehee

Honestly the real star find was a NICE hardcover edition of Junji Ito's Gyo :O excited to read through a physical copy! Also found a Junji Ito I'd never read, so looking forward to another blind dive when I finish No Longer Human :3c

[emmaswanned]

tag 9 people you want to know better: i was tagged by @judyalvqrez - thank you! :D

last song: unsure exactly but it was something by Noah Kahan - I currently have She Calls Me Back stuck in my head so i think it was that one

favourite color: my favorites have been blue and green forever but lately i've been leaning more to the green

currently reading: not reading anything at the moment, i've been awful about reading this year. but the last book i read was i'm not done with you yet by jesse q. sutanto, which i really loved.

currently watching: i'm rewatching Lost for its 20th anniversary but I've stalled out a bit because i'm on season 5 which is my least favorite season, lol. but i just have to say that show truly is THE show of all time and if you haven't watched it i highly, highly recommend it - it's one of the only shows where i'm really like, wow, i wish i could watch this again for the first time.

last movie: finally got around to seeing Talk to Me! i really loved it - i could write a whole essay about modern horror and how when it leans into Horror As Metaphor for grief or mental illness or what have you it often leans away from the scary and ends up with saccharine, sweet endings instead of cathartic horror - Talk to Me does not do that, it manages to have the Horror As Grief metaphor while still making it twisty and scary and sad and awful. i loved it.

sweet, spicy or savory: savory!

relationship status: single, childless cat lady

current obsession: i'm sure none of you have realized this but it's Alan Wake. (specifically AW2 because i haven't played the original yet kjgskjdgh i've been too engrossed in the sequel BUT I WILL GET TO IT.) and for those who haven't played it, i wish i could truly explain what's so special about it but i don't know how. it does feel like it was specifically engineered to appeal to me, though - the way it does horror, the way it handles storytelling (both in how its own story unfolds and how it's a story about storytelling). the characters, god the characters! the obvious passion shining through from the people who created the game. i can't say enough about it, i really can't. don't know what i'll do when the final expansion comes out and it's really truly over. (i mean, i'll probably keep playing it, who are we kidding.)

tea or coffee: i don't really like either!

the last thing i googled: synonyms for bitter because i'm #attempting to #write

no-pressure tags: @unseemingowl @florallychaotic @grimdarks @jemmalynette @cleoselene @wecanbepirates @cathedralsofdecay

[madstronaut]

This post by @void-my-warranty gave me much food for thought because first of all, omg activating my 'is the sun some tumblr anon bothering you my queen' mode (tbh it's always latently activated on this hellsite when i see my beloved moots/writers bothered) upon noting voidy's reaction - I've also read that post in question re: "all smut is writers fucking all their readers" and I will agree to disagree with that premise; sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, but it's definitely more than that imho?

The interesting thing about the meaning of stories is that oft times you start with an author's intention, but when combined with the lens through which a reader chooses to consume it (their heart, their mind, their mood, their past, their joys, their sorrows, what happened to them that day, or last year, or as a child, etc.) something quite curious occurs and the story can alchemize into something new and altogether surprisingly meaningful and wonderfully and cathartically important to both the reader and the writer in a way that wasn't anticipated when the fic was written/posted.

Drawing from personal experience as well as chats with IRL/tumblr moots here - I see smut as a way to explore and express sexuality in a safe space and by extension, fanfic/writing itself is a way to explore and express the entire spectrum of being human and all its crests and troughs. I find it hard to properly express sometimes how I feel about fanfic (cough or do I) and the impact it has had on me but poet Lemn Sissay's answers here in his interview with Natasha Lunn on love summed it up in such a poignant and beautiful way. Apt because well, he's an award-winning poet lol

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

text: Another way of feeling our shared humanity, I've found, is through stories.

Although there are fairy-tale narratives I could blame for my fantasies in relationships, there are also stories that have brought a real form of love into my life. I'm not referring to books or novels about love, specifically, but rather passages of writing that have the power to make you feel a little more alive.

The paragraph that gives you a tingle of recognition. The lines that feel as if they are directly written for a deep, secret part of you, that you weren't necessarily even aware of until it was woken up by words.

Reading such a passage is, I think, a form of love. Like any relationship, that intrinsic recognition is a way of understanding and being understood, of seeing and being seen. The psychiatrist Gordon Livingston said that 'the fundamental requirement for any satisfying relationship is a reciprocal ability to see the world as others see it, to be able to put ourselves in someone else's shoes.'

And that's what a truthful piece of writing does: by allowing us to access another person's reality, it shifts our mind into a higher gear of empathy. This deep clicking into place doesn't happen often. But when it does?

Those passages become a source of love for us to reach back for the next time we feel desperate or alone, like a float thrown out when you've lost the energy to carry on swimming.

This is how I have felt reading Elizabeth Strout's books and watching Kenneth Lonergan's films. It's how I feel every time I read - and speak to - the writer Sarah Hepola too. Her words carry me back to a peaceful place inside myself where I know what really matters. - excerpt from Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn

I'm not even halfway through the book, but I highly recommend it already.

[searockmilk]

What made you go "oh yeah Kakashi and Jiraiya are fucking" no hate just curious

Hope that curiosity is genuine bc my edible just kicked in and I love to yap.

Short answer: I read this fic last night and it knocked my socks off. Highly recommend but def read the tags before diving in.

Long answer: They're two of my favorite characters in the series and I really enjoy their interactions with each other!! I feel like they share a lot of trauma and I like to imagine that a relationship between them (sexual or otherwise) could be sort of cathartic for both of them in a way. I also just straight up fw a lot of mentor/mentee pairings in general which definitely is a factor lol

(Even longer answer under the cut...)

I honestly think that there's a ton of parallels between the two of them and it makes the potential for a relationship super interesting to me? They kind of exist on either sides of Minato's story as his teacher and student respectively and I think that his death was an extremely life-altering event for both of them. That shared trauma is an interesting bonding factor especially when you think about the feelings of responsibility and guilt they both probably share around all that.

In MY head their relationship started out as strictly Jiraiya trying to look out for Kakashi a bit as he grows into adulthood after Minato’s death. He has so many failures in his life that I think Kakashi is someone he might try to do right by for a while, if only because he's Minato's only remaining student. And then their relationship ends up being kind of healing for Jiraiya too because of that? Idk. I can kind of see them as unlikely friends. I like to think their physical relationship really starts once Kakashi's a little older, a little more experienced, more jaded, more likely to take the initiative on weirdly cathartic sex (where they're often both thinking of someone else, they both know this, and they're both okay with it because it's the same person?).

I could go on about this for a while as you can probably see. I'll end it there bc I'm rambling but you hopefully see what I'm getting at. If I'm being so real I also just like to draw them together bc I think they look good together. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[corpsentry]

SORRY i keep coming here to yell !! you got me thinking about cdramas (& t dramas) i enjoyed and then forgot about :"] i watched 如果奔跑是我的人生 earlier this year and the ending lost me, but i was quite captivated by its 20+ episodes before. it centres around parental relationships (asian) and, i don't know much about dance at all but a main character is a dancer and her story made me feel things. the performances were sick, in my unprofessional opinion! I'm Fine is a gorgeous ost track. btw.... i've started rewatching 不良执念清除师 again and i CANNOT RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH. i've been thinking about it (on ep 5 LOL) and i actually don't think the ending dropped the thread or ball or 链子 or however that saying goes (im fever SORRY.... i think it was cathartic and beautiful in the way a galaxy is— i just could not get enough of those guys T__T 不良执念清除师 is about sulky teen (??) guys moving through the world with so much heart. it's about LOVE and ART and how the living go on after tragedy, it's about how. how (PARDON ME....) we get to keep everything we've ever loved for even a fraction of a moment & what we are doing is worthwhile even if it is very small !!!!! it is a show that is, in Voice from IMBD's words, an outstanding Taiwanese drama that excels in every aspect, because it was made with so much care and love...(meta!) also, gay people

first of all No Apology thank you for coming to yell!!! you have a big heart full of love for the world and it moves me!!!! i went down this rabbit hole on m*dramalist after watching 我们的少女时代/our times (2015)-

(tangent incoming) this movie Shook the secondary 2 scene in singapore when it came out everyone and their dog was sobbing about it and i listened to 小幸运 Religiously despite never seeing it myself. Having Seen It Now, it is a sweet little thing and it makes me feel desperately old. it also made me CRY, what can i say i’m a sucker for distances and ships passing in the night and i was soooo happy when liudehua appeared and then adult xutaiyu showed up and he Fuck Ass Hair. my lord, his hair looked like SHIT. PICKLED SEAWEED……… i couldn’t cry after that because i was so busy clenching my asscheeks out of sheer despair FUCK HAIR AND. AND!!! A TOO SHORT BLACK BLAZER ON SKINNY JEANS??? I MEAN REALLY??? I KNOW 2015 WAS NINE YEARS AGO but i don’t recall fuckass hair being the in thing then…. this memory i do not have…. you have to understand how emotionally devastating this was to me…… (tangent end)

(tangent part 2) (please look at the way they styled this poor man’s fuck ass hair. i don’t care how earth shatteringly sweet they were in high school if my first love turned up ten years later and he looked like this i would simply walk away)

(tangent end)

the point is, that i then went through vivian sung’s acting history to see what else she’d been in bc she was soooooo lovely and realized that 不良执念清除师 was in said history and then remembered this ask! and your heartfelt words about its story! and i was like Oghey, i watch—

just finished the first episode and mein gott yiyong is such a Teenager…… man i look at 18 year olds and i’m like i don’t remember being like that but i Know i must’ve been, once upon a time. but the range of emotions the script wrung out of him in one episode was kind of insane and his actor is kind of vibey as hell (perhaps this is my sign from god to finally watch your name engraved herein…) and vivian sung is still epic as hell and sooo goofy and i’m excited! i think of u in my head for some reason as the epic tight as hell short chinese dramas anon, i Trust your eyes. they’re good eyes. i’ve also locked down the first 20+ episodes of the other drama you mention here, especially because yang chao yue is in it and she was Breathtaking in the double T T T thank you for the recs! where do you find all of these? i don’t know but you must be doing good out in the world. be well anon. meet a chicken

[star-going-supernova]

Hi Star! Do you have any FNAF fan song recommendations? 🥹 Like, a top five?

Boy do I!! I love a good fan song, and fnaf fans have been blessed by some incredibly talented artists!

Just to start (and because my top 5 list would be utterly dominated by them if I didn't put them separately, lol), I highly recommend JT Music's fnaf songs. They do incredible work, have since the beginning, and I am absolutely OBSESSED with their two most recent ones, Back for Another Bite and Lovely Things (<-this one makes me Feel Stuff).

Top Five (not counting JT Music, lol), in no particular order:

1. Security Breach by Nightcove_theFox

This one is largely instrumental, and I love it for its beat. It's kinda become synonymous with SB for me, and it's one of my favorites to use as background music while I write fnaf fic. According to itunes, I've spent 47 hours listening to this song. :]

2. Die in a Fire by The Living Tombstone

An oldie but goodie! I can't help it, this song makes me jam out whenever I hear it, and it's just such a fun song for the subject matter, lol. Also very cathartic.

3. They'll Keep You Running by CK9C

A super fun one about Sister Location with stunning animation. It perfectly balances catchy with creepy for me, and I would definitely recommend their other fnaf songs. All the singers in these songs are just *mwah* chef's kiss.

4. Already Dead by KittenSneeze

This is a Vanessa-centric song with an awesome animation to boot! It's so catchy and it will get stuck in your head. It's about her struggle with becoming Vanny and it hurts so good.

5. This Comes From Inside by The Living Tombstone

It just. Hits in a very specific way. I don't know any other song that replicates this exact feeling in me.

Honorable Mentions, because I have so many that I love and I can't just leave it at five, lol:

A Pizza the Action by The Stupendium

Drop by Rockit Music ft. CG5

Parasite by Nightcove_theFox

Total Insecurity by Rockit Music

Drawn to the Bitter by dheusta

[sowthetide]

Update 9/15/23 - New Chapter on Sunday!

Hey y'all! I'm back ;-)

To my shock, it's actually been a very productive month! Chapters 27 and 28 are finished (and chapter 29 is halfway there, but I know where I'm going with it). I also went back and reviewed chapters 1-10, which is something I've been meaning to do for a while.

My writing has improved a lot since starting this fic, and I've been itching to go back and rewrite/tweak those early/unbeta-ed chapters. I rewrote chapter 1 a few months back, but I just rewrote chapter 2 this last week and I'm much happier with it. The rest of the chapters were thankfully less terrible than I remembered, so I only had to clean them up a bit. With that in mind, I highly recommend a re-read if you've got the time! The rewritten chapter 2 is way more intense and it gives a bit more character to Alannys, who will continue to be fleshed out in coming chapters.

Chapter 27 will be posted this Sunday, and we'll hopefully be back to weekly updates for a while after that. Fair warning, chapter 27 will be pretty emotionally intense, but hopefully also somewhat cathartic. After that, we'll be wading more into ironborn culture and politics as Westeros continues to fracture and fall apart.

As a final note, I've got a couple character playlists y'all might be interested in. I highly recommend listening to the Lanny playlist while reading this newest chapter on Sunday, it absolutely wrecked me lol. I've also had a Quen playlist simmering for a long time, so feel free to check it out!

the kraken's daughter (Quen)

the woman who waits (Alannys)

See y'all on Sunday!!

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

140. Club Dead by Charlaine Harris--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in 2023!

Screw you, Bill. That's my main takeaway from this one again--my feelings on him being a crap boyfriend remain intact.

I also appreciated Sookie talking about money and how hard it has been for her to keep going and making ends meet. It's weirdly cathartic, especially when we compare the difference of how financially difficult life was in comparison to the financial difficulties of today. But also because I think a lot of the time, in these books (at least in the past), we focus so much on the relationships and the will-they/won't-they themes that we don't focus on the general lives of the characters. I'm excited to see what else comes Sookie's way! So glad I'm doing this re-read!

___

141. Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Beyond the romantic idea that Sanderson essentially wrote this for his wife, this was such a fun and clever story full of adventure and hilarious moments. I enjoyed this so much more than I was expecting to, but I shouldn't have doubted because Sanderson's writing always scratches that one little fantasy itch you never knew was waiting to be scratched.

I loved the characters and how they all came together for this memorable adventure. Especially the narrator and how they spoke to us despite their current self not...being the way we expected them to be.

Also, my favourite and obvious theme was how it is a young woman who essentially saves the day. Sanderson's wife supposedly commented on how Buttercup didn't really do much to save her man in THE PRINCESS BRIDE, and I was curious to see what a more modern-day adaptation might look like. I wasn't disappointed because his mc is a badass who did all she could to save the love of her life.

While there were definitely some slower moments in the story, the dialogue and witty commentary will surely bring you back! Highly recommend it to anyone who wants a surprisingly humorous adventure set on another planet's oceans full of unexpected dangers.

___

142. The Encounter by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am genuinely enjoying the heck out of this series!

THE ENCOUNTER is from the perspective of the one kid whose unfortunate actions in book one changed his life forever. Keeping that in mind made this book so incredibly heartbreaking. There's obviously the pain of missing what his reality once was, but seeing his fight to keep the past part of him alive despite his life changing so much made me hurt so much for him. I think his actions during this book were perfectly suited to his age, because he is, after all, just a child.

I really hope we see a better outcome for him in the future. My heart aches knowing that he is the cautionary tale for the other kids in the group.

Yes, these books are fun and full of adventure and I love that they are actually meant to be read in order. But I think that in between those suspenseful moments, the reader needs to remember that these are kids fighting a very non-kid friendly war.

___

143. I Survived the Sinking of the Titanic, 1912 by Lauren Tarshis--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As a bookstore employee, I'm enjoying reading these books because I can give better explanations to my younger customers! Also, these are just really fun bite-sized reads.

The titanic was a massive tragedy, so it was interesting to see it from the perspective of a child who had a better chance of actually surviving the sinking (a wealthy child). It made me think of a very, very condensed version of REFUGEE.

If you want a quick and eye-opening snack of history, I'd recommend this series!

___

144. Monster Blood by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️

I don't even know anymore. LOL this book was something. Not the worst I've read in the GOOSEBUMPS series, but I do wish it had a bit more character development because, honestly, is it normal for kids who have just met to trust each other so thoroughly in the case of human-eating slime? Would you, as a precocious child, put your life in danger for the random kid you literally just met?

This is why I should have read these as a child. As an adult, my stranger danger alarms are just shining bright like a diamond.

___

145. Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I went into this book with way too many expectations and that's my fault. I expected a gory and disturbing horror story set in a camp, what I got was a deeply disturbing exploration of the toxic world of cult-like religion that sent gay teens and young adults to Camp Damascus so they could be "cured" by any means possible...even if those means may be out of this world.

The book had it's moments of spook and legitimate chills because some of the language is deeply disturbing. Massive trigger warning for anyone who has trauma related to a religious upbringing. I wasn't raised in this way and I was deeply disturbed.

I wish I'd gone in with no expectations because I think I might have enjoyed it more. Was it fun? Absolutely! But I was very sad to see that it wasn't the setting I was hoping for. I know that a lot of other people will enjoy this book way more, and honestly that makes me happy!

That ending was great though--the explosion of build-up from the rest of the book was well worth the wait!

___

146. Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

There are only a few books where I can say I related a little too much to the main characters. Usually, it's books exploring my immigrant background, or growing up plus-sized, but this is the first time I've read a LGBTQ+ book where I related so much to the mc and her journey to understanding her sexuality and who she is as a person.

I grew up surrounded by heteronormativity. Any moment in my childhood where I was one step away from realizing my sexuality, something or someone was there to remind me that I can't stray too far. I had a friend who wasn't the greatest of allies and I still believe that set me back a million years. Coming to terms with who I am in my late 20's and early 30's was a massive mind-fuck. Suddenly, I started thinking about all of the signs and moments I ignored so I could stay in my little bubble. Reading IMOGEN, OBVIOUSLY by Becky Albertalli was like having a mirror put up to my face with a character yelling, "I told you so" (and plot twist, that character yelling is my younger self who always argued against me hiding my truth.)

Imogen, the mc, has a friend in this book who is the personification of doubts a new member of the LGBTQ+ community may feel when they finally let themselves step out of the closet. "Am I queer enough? Do I have a right to be queer when I haven't experienced half of the things other people in the community have experienced?" This friendship was toxic and a reminder that every community has its darker side. I wanted to hug Imogen for the doubts this friend seeded in her. But I wanted to celebrate her childhood friend who helped her understand that she is valid.

Yes, there is an incredibly adorable (and quick) romance in this one, but I think more than that, what needs to be celebrated is the support of non-toxic friends, and the personal growth Imogen experienced despite the storm brewing inside of her.

This book was difficult to read because of how incredibly relatable it was and because I know this is also something Albertalli wrote from her own experiences. I often worry about what others think of me when I approach the topic of being a part of the LGBTQ+ community and thankfully, I have some amazing friends who help support me. But I can't help but think of the other kids or younger adults who don't have that support, or guidance. This book could genuinely help so many questioning readers.

Through quick, witty, personable, and deeply emotional writing, Albertalli has created a novel that I recommend to everyone--whether they're a part of the community or an ally. Words and assumptions have more power than a lot of people seem to think.

___

147. Far From True by Linwood Barclay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As always, Linwood Barclay entertained me and kept me hooked. I'm always amazed by the twist and turns and the moments where my jaw genuinely drops because of the reveals.

I'll hopefully be reading the third one in the series soon--I'm curious to see why 23 is so important and who is behind it all! I'm totally reading this series out of order, but book four thankfully didn't spoil it for me!

Onto the next one!

___

Have you read any of these? What are your thoughts?

___

Happy reading!

[tomatoluvr69]

Also I just finished this book on the trail and loved it a lot and it left a giant gnarled pit in my stomach in the best possible way & it was such a cathartic read for my 20s sense of aimlessness and disillusionment I highly recommend taking a look if you happen to be into that sort of thing. But it could also be a case of right book right time (similar to how I wouldn’t really relate to YA anymore, or yet find catharsis and solidarity in stories of middle or old age, this book might have bored me at any other time in my life) so your mileage may vary but in any case it was a finalist for the national book award and in my opinion that’s highly deserved ok anyway yay books and reading and big yay to ones that actually move you and don’t tie everything up in an unrealistic platitudinous neatness also feel free to ramble about any books you’ve loved recently in the replies even if I might not see them for a few days bc of all the national forest dwelling lol

[thebendsbyradiohead]

tagged by @berrytart thank u so much bc i have Thoughts & now an excuse to share them lol

last read: severance by ling ma & the new me by halle butler

so i was going to just include severance here but i was rly curious where the new me would go & i literally just finished it & liked it a lot!!!

both books deal with blithe, depressed & passionless protagonists stuck in the never-ending loop of what it means to exist in late stage capitalism which despite all evidence of it in the real world, i apparently also seek out in fiction to reassure me i'm not broken to feel that way too?

severance is amazing & i highly recommend it altho fair bit of content warning for an eerily prescient pandemic plot down to the ghoulish response of governments & businesses. (seriously, it was released in 2018 & if i was ling ma, i'd be buying lottery tickets every single day since march 12 2020). it also does a masterful job of depicting the immigrant experience abroad, especially if you're going thru it alone & without a large support network. the protagonist is also a chinese woman & her relation to her race is also a significant theme that's tied up in the overall arc of the novel, making you realize the title works on several levels: severance from your culture, from your family, from happiness, from humanity. is there nothing capitalism can't take from you?

the new me is a bit more condensed and focused on the inner machinations of a lonely depressed woman who can't seem to hold down a permanent job surrounded by vapid self-interested people & slowly becoming more like them (if not already). it's highly reminiscent of my year of rest and relaxation but i found the descriptors of the banality & pointlessness of office life poignant since it singled out how stupid all of it is. i also appreciated the glimpses of the minds of random side characters who the MC often judges but the author shows us they're as frail & human & pathetically hopeful just like she is, like we all are. while it might not be as layered as severance is, the claustrophobic feeling it gave me & the portrayal of bullshit jobs in late stage capitalism & the way it punishes weakness, vulnerability, and authenticity was painfully familiar. i wish i could give it to my therapist to understand my perspective but she'd probably tell me stop reading shit like this & taking it as truth

currently reading: play it as it lays by joan didion & imagining the balkans by maria todorova

i'm gonna be real with you chief (didion), carrie fisher did this better. this is my first time reading fiction by didion & the year of magical thinking was truly a cathartic read for me but this ain't it. it's a story about a failing actress who's divorcing from this director that made her famous & they have a sick kid & she drinks & hangs out with other rich people & she's not even funny. idk, maybe it's just not resonating with me at this point of my life but i doubt i will be a famous actress at any point & i'm not aiming to be an alcoholic mother so. it's a pity that the things i liked in the year of magical thinking, like the direct prose & complex human relationships, just fall flat here. i guess knowing the things in the year of magical thinking were real made them seem that much more impactful (as much as i hate that). i still have half of it left so i'll finish it but atp i'm not even curious what happens

i just started imagining the balkans so i can't say much abt it except that it's dense and very philosophical which makes sense ig lol. until now she's brought up several arguments i've kind of realized myself but it's nice to have the theory and historical research behind them presented. otherwise, how could i know some random american dude joined one of the sections of the macedonian liberation movement in the 1900s simply because he was bored at home & looking for mystery & intrigue?

To read: miracle in the andes by nando parrado

as a kid my favorite type of story was A Weirdo Stuck In An Inhospitable Environment Survives Against All Odds so this memoir from one of the survivors of the uruguayan air force flight 571 crash whose skull shattered & he still walked an entire mountain & found help is bound to be good

i tag @cuntextual @yugocar @christianbalegf

[lantur]

Do you ever reread your own fics?

This might sound weird but I’m also a fanfic writer and sometimes I reread my own fics not the edit but just to enjoy specific headcanons/tropes of characters I like

This might sound vain/selfish but I don’t do it bc I think my writing is amazing or anything. I just find that a lot of times I write fic based on prompts I wanted to read and then just end up getting the urge to read those again later

Lol idk if this makes any sense or if just sound crazy

It definitely makes sense to me. I've reread my own fics before, especially when I need/needed comfort and familiarity. I think in many cases, we write what we want to read, in terms of characterization, tropes, etc. - so it makes sense that we would want to reread it. And sometimes rereading your own writing can be emotionally cathartic or comforting too. Highly recommend!

Happy writing :)

[loveotomization]

i got unbaaaanned here's an ask: can i get a behind the scenes for (one of) your fav/s akekita scene/s you've written, any fic 👀 like, how did the idea come to you, or some fun fact abt the writing process... if you have anything to share ^^

Thank you for this!! I've been dying to have an excuse to talk about this stuff, you have no idea!

This wasn't exactly what you asked, but I thought I'd mention that people who have read my stuff in general point out my use of off-the-wall metaphors/similes. If anyone enjoys my little flair in doing this, I highly recommend reading the works of Peter Beagle! I shamelessly stole the technique from him and made it my own. I recommend starting off with The Last Unicorn (it's a classic for a reason), but any of his older works share a similar style (A Fine and Private Place, Folk of the Air). I'm not sure that I would be a writer today without him.

Anyway...

-Fun fact: Akechi is easier for me to write than Yusuke. I, too, am very angry inside and probably just need a hug lol It's cathartic. Although, two years of studying art in college actually helps with writing Yusuke, because I don't need to look up art terms.

-In Aesopica, the ending was highly inspired by my favorite Tokyo Ghoul fic, in which Kaneki turns the tables on Tsukiyama in the end (huge content warnings for that TG fic btw). I loved how satisfying the circular nature of it was and wanted to try something similar. I knew the ending I wanted to create right from the first chapter.

I cannot remember how I came up with the fruit bowl to both mark the passing of time, and the decay of their relationship. But go past me for coming up with that! My 2017 brain was the real mvp.

This is also my longest fic and you will not see me write anything this long again lol I just don't have it in me. Shout out to long fic writers, I'll have some of whatever you're snacking on.

I also remember this being something of a vent fic. I was sad and wanted to my faves to be sad together. While I do enjoy supportive akekit, where they both grow together, I also love when they just make each other worse.

-Sliced Halves, Light Syrup, please imagine me in the grocery store staring blankly at a can of peaches while concocting an entire fic. Writers are very normal people.

This is also my second most popular akekit fic. Fluff sells, I guess. I prefer my darker stuff tbh!

-After Aesopica, my personal favorite of mine is Psychosomatic. I'm shy about my love of organ-fondling since it's not a common thing to be into (there's not even an official ao3 tag for it lol), so I'm grateful to the person on the kink meme for prompting this. Knowing someone else was interested allowed me to put myself out there and write it. I re-read it not long ago just for fun, and it holds up. It's the intimacy of literally touching the insides of someone, you know?

-I'm scrolling through my akekit fics now and wow! I do not remember some of these? Who wrote these while I wasn't looking??

-Kilroy Was Here was going to be serious angst about Akechi forcibly kissing Yusuke so that he would no longer trust him, because he feels like he doesn't deserve trust, blah, blah... But the idea of Yusuke annoying the crap out of him before they got to that point was so funny to me that I had to run with it. If anyone was wondering about my sense of humor, this fic is it. (I am not funny)

-Born to be Posthumous 69 kudos harr harr... I enjoy this one even if it wasn't as popular as some of my others. I remember being depressed and angry and wanting to take it out on Akechi.

This is getting long now, but it was fun! Thank you again! Hopefully this wasn't too far from you asked! Most of my scenes just come to me as I'm writing with a basic idea in mind, so I just toss them in as I go. A humble chef tossing anything she finds in the fridge right into the soup.

Now that I'm back from my writing hiatus I definitely plan to bring out more akekit when I can!

[andr0leda]

do you have any interactive fiction favorites you could recommend? i'm new to them (i've only really played wayhaven, mind blind, and a tale of crowns; just tried to play blood moon 'cause i saw you posting about it and i am clearly v v late to being able to play the demo lol). thank you for literally any recommendations!

anon! sweet thing! im very flattered by this ask!

ATOC is also a favourite of mine! the world building is so dreamy and i love the challenge of court intrigue

Blood Moon will release in a couple of months and i highly recommend it, its wholesome and cathartic and satisfying and the RO's are multifaceted and endearing and the s*x scenes were so hot jesus fukcing christ, love the writing style as well, such a joy to read i want to buy it for all of my friends [18+]

VTM: Night Road is also a favourite. even though i haven't finished it (just bad timing, i will some day!) ive played it through halfway twice i love the writing style and the desert night setting the brutality/ugliness and the stats and the CARS!! [18+]

Fallen Hero: Rebirth was the first IF i ever played and probably one of my favourite games in general, the unreliable narrator, all the characters and villains. the story has had me in a vice grip for like three years? the rich world is very fun to play in, (some very heavy themes though so proceed with caution) [16+??]

some demos i'm following/excited for are The Northern Passage and The Exile. both of which just SUCKED me into their worlds. (not sure their ratings, but they do have trigger warning pages though)

and finally im not sure if it counts as an IF? but Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator :^)

[joels6string]

Doing a chapter select replay of tlou2 (because cba with someone of that game) and when Joel has the longer grey hair look FUCK ME I CAN'T 😩😩😩😩😩

DONT I KNOW IT. That is an entire fucking man right there.

Chapter select is the way to go with that one…that game is just…I can’t lol. There’s so much wrong with it even beyond what they do to Joel. However, highly recommend playing through Part I with the Part II skin. Highly. Very cathartic. I miss the peeks of chest hair when I do it, but the longer, gray hair 😮‍💨

[halsins-herbal-underpants]

15 Questions for 15 Friends

15 questions for 15 friends

Tagged by @stuffforthestash ty!

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I changed my name awhile ago and I suppose I will reject cringe and live free by admitting it's based on both my favorite X-Man character Gambit and the name of one of my decade's long OCs lmao.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Couple of nights ago actually when I was reading the latest chapter of the very excellent Halstarion fic Write to me. Highly recommend it.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Hahahaha omg lord no, my life is barely sustainable for the grown adults living in it, much less a poor kid

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? Played baseball in a summer league as a kid but outside of that nah. I was in marching band thru all high school tho does that count?

DO YOU USE SARCASM? Never heard of her

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? I am incredibly unobservant and often so very tired, so honestly not much lmao...maybe eyes and hands? I do notice the differences between fake, nervous and genuine smiles a lot tho

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR? I got curious and looked up actual names for eyecolors and mine are apparently labeled Gemstone Green

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Depends on my mood, I think sometimes bittersweet or 'death' endings can be beautiful and cathartic - FFXVI comes to mind. But the older I get the more I want people to just be together and happy in the end.

ANY TALENTS? Even though it's more really hard work for a really long time, I guess I could say art and maybe writing? Art feels more like a natural talent to me, I've been drawing since my hands could hold a pencil properly, writing is much more difficult. It genuinely makes my brain hurt from the struggle lmao.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Won't get me, 3 secret answers needed to remake my password question!

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Drawing, writing, roleplaying/D&D, in-game photography (mostly FFXIV and dipping toes into BG3, I desperately want to learn how to pose ripped models in Blender), playing video games esp visual novels, and collecting/watching old made-for-TV movies (esp fantasy & horror based ones) from the 80s and 90s.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? 2 cats, our grumpy old ladies <3 We might be getting a third if he ends up liking the place, fingers crossed.

HOW TALL ARE YOU? just under 5'11'' (180 cm)

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Art class, band class, English, ceramics.

DREAM JOB? I wanted to be an animator or comic artist for most of my life but that ship sailed, c'est la vie. Now I just want something I don't have to think too hard at, make it thru a full 40 hours without wanting to die lol and just do the things that make me happy like writing and spending time with friends and sleeping, etc.

I'm supposed to tag 15 people but I'm pretty sure everyone I could tag has been tagged ahaha so I'll just say if you're reading this consider yourself tagged & fill it out if u want!