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sweetsungie · 2 years

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the silence between two special songs | h.j | part 1

pairing: souncloud! jisung x reader (ft. dancer! hyunjin)

genre: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mature content, fwb, mutual pining, unrequited love, rapper jisung, english major reader

series: the silence between two special songs

word count: 13.5k

warnings: cursing, fluff, hella angst, yn is utterly and completely in love, drinking, mentions of kissing, hyunjin’s the biggest heartthrob (real)

synopsis:

falling in love with someone was one of the best and worst things a person could do. you'd remember the first time your heart skipped a beat at the sound of their voice and how perfectly their lips fit into yours. you'd remember how they encapsulated every single fiber being within you that you could no longer breathe when you were around them; likewise, you didn't want to.

you'd remember all the good things about them.

but then you'd remember the first time it ached knowing that they cared about you, but not enough. how they loved you, but not the way you wanted them to.

not the way you wanted hyunjin to.

and not the way jisung wanted you to.

•°. *࿐

a/n: i’m really excited to start this mini series! it’s been a while since i’ve been on tumblr and wrote again :( i missed it!! hopefully this chapter was a good start <3 i feel like a lot happens!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

comment to be a part of the taglist <3

masterlist

series playlist

Ever since you were a little girl, summer had been one of your favorite seasons.

You didn't know if it was because of the tangible feeling of the heat on your skin, the blazing winds that felt like sudden monsoons in the season, or maybe even the sweet, wistful taste of strawberries that brought you back to your childhood. But summer always felt like home.

"Sungie!" You cheered, running towards your friend.

You had the biggest smile on your face. Not because you had a good day but because seeing him made your heart so happy and full. You couldn't contain it.

Your little yellow dress flowed through the stagnant, humid air as you ran across the street to meet him. Jisung extended his tanned hands out for you. You grabbed them and started spinning the both of you around in circles.

The hot wind hit you and felt warm and comforting, just like his small hands. It felt like home.

The two of you were seven; all you’d ever known was good.

He closed his eyes, giggling, "I'm getting so dizzy!" He continued to push through.

“Me too,” you joined before coming to a stop. Your world kept spinning.

His brown orbs found themselves exposed again to the light. He grinned, his glowing eyes beamed with joy. They always happened to do all the smiling for him.

He was so special to you, as you were to him.

And you hugged him.

“I love you so much.”

You hugged him so hard that both of your small frames toppled over onto the grass of Jisung’s front yard. The fall slightly hurt along the way, but it didn't matter as the both of you continued to feed off each other's uncontrollable laughter.

“I love you more!”

“Not possible.”

The both of you chased fluttering pieces of prose and drank strawberry lemonade later that day.

And just like every ordinary summer day, you played in front of Jisung’s home, with hearts full of contentment, knowing you would do this all over again tomorrow.

You had fallen in love with those summers, which meant so much to you then. But when you thought of it now, it should've meant everything and more.

He was your best friend in the whole wide world, and you couldn't imagine your life without him.

Your phone sounded its alarm, yet you were already awake for the past hour. Just like every year, summer had come to an end, and another school year had begun. You always dreaded this time of the year—yet here it was, coming rather quickly this time around.

The door to your bedroom abruptly opened, “There’s absolutely no way you’re still sleeping!” You groaned at the familiar voice. “Get your ass up.”

You felt the duvet starting to be pulled off you. “Minho, if you don't take your hands off my blanket in two seconds, I might just kill you,” you warned, grabbing onto the fabric.

It was bold of you to threaten Minho, and you knew that. In fact, he almost blew up into a fit of laughter but kept it in for your sake. Instead, he continued to pull.

You finally met the eyes of your disrupter and snatched the blanket back with full force.

He brought his hands up to his hips, “Y/N.”

“Minho.”

He drew a thin line with his lips before exiting your room wordlessly. You successfully smiled as you lowered back down to meet your pillow again. He gave up much easier this year than expected, but you’d rather not question it.

You could’ve made this easier on yourself. You could’ve gotten up to start your day at an appropriate time, but why would you? In fact there were many things that you could've done but chose not to. It was easier this way.

A few moments passed by before you heard footsteps enter your room again. You didn't bother looking because you already knew it had to be Minho again. He was probably ready to start another argument.

But suddenly, just like that, you felt a storm wash over the top of you.

You sat up, shocked. “Lee Minho, I will kill you!”

“What is going on?” Another voiced out, running into your room.

You had to be dreaming. There was no way water was thrown on you, right? There was no way you were completely soaked, your wet sheets beginning to stick to your skin.

Yeah, you had to be dreaming. But you opened your eyes and were still dripping in cold water.

Minho smirked at you, raising the bucket in a toast, “Morning sunshine.”

Before you could say anything, the same voice by your doorsill called again, “Um… guys? What the fuck just happened?”

You turned to notice it was Jisung. It slightly reassured you seeing him, especially in your current state.

“Nothing, she’s hormonal,” Minho quickly stated before you could complain.

Your eyes shot daggers in his direction before redirecting your attention onto Jisung. “No, Ji, I think there is something mentally wrong with our friend,” you corrected. “He fucking threw water on me!”

Jisung laughed loudly and you glared at him.

Realizing you looked pretty scary when doing so, his laughter faded, and he cleared his throat, “Okay—no, Y/N, you do this every year. Get up before you miss class.”

He decided to side with the culprit.

You were still wet; even now, your hair was uncomfortably sticking to your face. “Do you see me?” You were dumbfounded at his dismissal.

He walked over to you and grabbed your arms to help you up from bed. “Yes, I do. You look cute! It reminds me of when you did the ice bucket challenge.” Typical Jisung. A sigh escaped as you concluded he wouldn't be of any proper help.

Gaining your balance, your eyes pierced through both boys as they laughed at your demise. “I can’t believe you guys are doing this to me.” These were the two best friends you were stuck with for the rest of your life? You needed to start locking your door.

Minho seemed to be having a blast. An amused expression was plastered onto his face, “It was either the water or having you do an extra set of planks later today at practice. I was being nice.”

After a few minor arguments with Jisung poorly playing the mediator, you finally shoved the two boys out of your room to begin preparing for your already pitiful day.

As stubborn as you liked to believe you were, they were right. You did do this every year. Not because you loved your bed so much but because there was always something so uncontrollably draining about the end of summer that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

Nonetheless, as much as you hated mornings and the end of summer, you had to admit that you were lucky enough to be awakened torturously by your overly enthusiastic roommate and friend, Minho. Especially with Jisung right behind to put out any fires, even though he failed almost every time.

You’d secretly agree that this was better than an extra set of planks.

Although it annoyed you at the time, you were thankful that they cared enough about you to wake you up before you missed your morning classes.

After knowing Minho all of college and Jisung for the entirety of your life, you grew to depend on each other for the little things despite how much it inconvenienced you at the time.

It was one of the few things in life you appreciated and were grateful for.

Once you finished getting ready for the day, you walked out of your room to be greeted by three boys sitting in the living room of your apartment. It was one of the many things you had to get used to when living with two boys; your home was classified as the hangout spot.

But you didn't mind because they were your friends anyways.

“There she is!” Jisung cheered. He was lying on the couch beside Changbin with his arm draped over the muscular guy. “Guys, she nearly committed homicide this morning.”

You rolled your eyes. Recalling the events from earlier, you shoved your charger into the side of your backpack much more forcefully than you intended. “Yeah, nearly.”

Chan chuckled as he continued to type away on his laptop, “You mess with her too much.”

Jisung sat up straighter, “Hey! It was Lino this time.”

“Oh really? I could’ve sworn I overheard her plotting your end sometime last week. I think she might do it this time, man,” Changbin snickered. He gasped as Jisung shoved him from his seated position in response.

You stifled a laugh—you didn't think anyone heard you.

Chan looked at the boy, “Fine. If not you, then it’s Minho. If not Minho, then it’s you.”

Jisung’s eyes widened innocently as his doe eyes met yours, “Wait… what did I do last week?” He was still hung up on Changbin’s statement.

He ate the last of your favorite cookies.

You smiled sweetly at his cluelessness, shaking your head, “Nothing, Sungie… you didn't do anything.”

If it were any other time, you would’ve come up with some smart-aleck response, but you were still too groggy, and he looked far too adorable within his realm of confusion for you to be bothered.

You looked down at the time on your phone and realized you had about fifteen minutes before class started.

“You see, guys! She loves me,” Jisung smiled satisfactorily, blowing a kiss at you.

You fake puked, scrunching your nose in distaste, “I’m gonna act like I didn't just hear that.”

Before he could respond, you headed towards the kitchen. You didn't have enough time to entertain the conversation any further. Plus, there was no way Jisung helped Minho force you out of bed so that he could make you late to class.

Nonetheless, you weren't fazed by Jisung’s usual behavior. How could you? He was your best friend. He knew every single thing about you as you did him. Most times, you’d even admit he knew you better than you knew yourself. This was just who he was.

Pushing your thoughts aside, you made your way into the kitchen and nearly felt your heart drop at sight.

You hoped that things were different this year. It was your last year of college before the real world consumed you. There had to be some change, right?

But what was he doing here?

If a single person in the entire world could make you crack in a matter of seconds, it would be him. The one person in the whole world that would catch your tongue.

“Oh hey, Y/N,” Hyunjin sweetly smiled, looking up from his phone. He leaned against the counter as Minho blended his usual morning smoothie.

And much as you hated the feeling that crept up to your cheeks with a burning passion, it wasn't just something you could ignore. You had tried that one too many times, growing just to accept it. Accept that there would come a time when you’d become so infatuated with a single soul.

For this person, you'd do anything and not think twice about it, but when asked why, you would have no answer. You'd spend your whole life understanding how a single person could affect you as much as they did, but you’d never find out.

And it was okay because you accepted that.

“Y/N?”

You stood frozen, still caught off guard by his abrupt presence, “Hyunjin—hey,” you replied past the blaring blender.

He looked different.

Of course, he did. He had just come back from studying abroad two weeks ago.

His pale skin looked much tanner, and he had cut his long hair.

You suddenly felt embarrassed, realizing he had been gone for almost a year and looked so different, yet you still looked the same. And your embarrassment only increased as you recalled his Welcome Back dinner you were invited to but purposefully skipped.

He gave you a soft smile, standing up against the marble counter, “It’s good to see you again.”

You cleared your throat, “Nice hair.”

You mentally cursed yourself out as you processed the words that exited your mouth. He said that it was good to see you and the only thing you could conjure up was… nice hair.

He paused for a few moments before letting out a breathy laugh, “I feel like I look five years younger now.” He set his phone down on the counter to play with the short ends of his hair that encompassed the sides of his face.

And then he pouted.

He pouted, and you could’ve sworn you almost melted at sight.

It had been a long time since you had seen him with shorter hair—the last time being freshman year. No question, you loved the long hair on him, but somehow, seeing him now, you didn't seem to mind the short either.

You let out a breath that you didn't realize you were holding in, “You… It looks good.”

His eyes flickered to you, a small smile forming on his velvety lips, “Really? I’ll believe you, I guess.”

A voice interrupted you, pulling you out of your trance. You’d nearly forgotten that you and Hyunjin weren't alone in the world.

“Gross,” Minho scrunched his nose in distaste. You weren't sure if his reaction was because of how sappy you and Hyunjin were getting or because of the disgustingly pigmented green smoothie he had just taken a sip of. He groaned, “This smoothie tastes so fucking bad today.”

Hyunjin laughed, his eyes forming crescents, as Minho grabbed himself a water bottle from the fridge to cleanse his mouth. The both of them fell into conversation shortly after.

You often found yourself admiring Hyunjin much more than you intended to. He was gorgeous. It wasn't fair. To you, his beauty was astonishing. But not in just his looks; no, that was too evident.

Growing to know the boy who stood before you these past four years, his beauty stood behind his passion for everything he put himself into. It was the crinkle in his brow when he was concerned or the way he smiled when everything came together. His laugh was so infectious that it was absolutely exhilarating just to be around him.

All of these small things added up to make him so irresistible… yet utterly unattainable.

He wasn't yours, and you don't think he ever will.

“Wait—don’t you guys start class in like ten minutes?” Minho abruptly asked, invading your thoughts before he attempted to down his smoothie one last time.

Hyunjin stood up from against the counter once more, “Oh shit.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the plurality of Minho’s question, “You guys?”

Hyunjin grabbed his backpack from the floor and walked up to you, “Yup, we have the same block.” He gave you a dimpled smile, “Let’s hurry before we’re late.”

The day had gone much quicker than you had thought it would. And much to your surprise, you spent most of it alongside Hyunjin. It had you on edge all day.

You were confused as to why your classes synced up as much as they did. You were typically used to having just Seungmin in your classes, but now it was both Seungmin and Hyunjin.

It took the third class of the day for you to muster up enough courage and ask what he was doing here.

“I added an English minor while abroad last year.”

He had fallen in love with literature and books the same way you did. As he told you his story and his passion for words, he became more and more captivating. It hurt.

Since he was gone for all of last year, you just now had him in your classes. It felt odd. Seeing him was something you needed to start getting used to.

Indeed you still had no idea how to function around him in the slightest, but he was Hyunjin; he was far too kind for his own good.

He made up for all the small talk and attempted to keep you at ease all day. He was used to you being quiet when it came to him, but today, you seemed much more challenging to crack.

Assuming it was the first day of school nerves, he shrugged it off.

The final class of the day had just ended, and Seungmin had already run off to his daily tutoring session. He picked up on tutoring his second year and stumbled upon a girl last semester who desperately needed help with her writing.

Of course, this was music to Seungmin’s ears. He was a talented writer and all of his former students didn't need him anymore.

But he was so oblivious. It was clear from the number of times the girl invited him to hang out that she was interested in him.

Hyunjin looked over at you as you packed up your backpack, “Are you ready for practice?”

You nearly dropped everything when you remembered Hyunjin was on the dance team with you. He had only been gone for one year… was your memory really that bad?

Standing up from your seat, you lightheartedly teased him with a chuckle, “You were gone for so long that I forgot you were on the dance team, Jinnie.”

He smiled lightly to himself. Not only because of your banter but because he had always loved whenever you called him Jinnie. It rolled off your tongue so smoothly, and he couldn't help but fail to fight back a smile because it always hit a soft spot in him.

It wasn't often that he heard people call him that, especially since coming back.

Realizing he didn't respond, your cheeks flushed self-consciously, thinking he took it too seriously, “I was joking-”

“I know,” he giggled. You slowly nodded, slightly reassured. “Oh wait! I got you something!” He abruptly mentioned. Noticing your slightly flustered expression, he added, “It's not anything crazy, don't worry. I brought something back for everybody, and uh… it’s just that I haven't seen you since I came back yet. I figured I'd see you today.”

You felt like an ice cube melting from the words that left his mouth, “Oh.” You nodded your head slightly in understanding as your cheeks began to heat up even more than before.

You didn't know whether to be flattered by his thoughtful gift or feel quite embarrassed at your prominent absence at his Welcome Back dinner.

“I’m sorry I couldn't make it. I was busy—I had book club and-”

He laughed softly, setting his backpack down on the desk to retrieve your gift. “Yeah, Lino told me.” He gave you a comforting smile, “Don't even worry about it.”

Did Hyunjin ask about you that night? Was your lack of presence that noticeable? No, no, it couldn't have been. Maybe Minho just told him so it wouldn't seem like you were ditching it without a valid reason.

Either way, it was a lie.

You weren't busy or at book club. Instead, you were pitifully hiding in your room all night, worried that the boys would come over after dinner to hang out. When Minho and Jisung told you about the dinner a few nights beforehand, you were anxious and told them that you already had plans.

It wasn't like if you didn't miss him. Of course, you did. So, so much. In fact, you wished you could tell him how piercingly and endlessly you thought about him. But you just weren't ready to see Hyunjin then—hell—you weren’t even ready now.

It also didn't help that it would’ve felt like you were intruding on their dinner because he never personally invited you.

You figured he’d want to see his close friends. But even if you did end up going and crashing the dinner, the boy didn't have a single inadequate bone in his body to tell you to leave.

Hyunjin occupied his mind as he continued to dig into his backpack. Had he forgotten it? A few moments later, he took out a paperback book.

“Here it is! I thought I left it back in my room,” he sighed in relief. “I went to a lot of libraries back abroad because Min told me to, and this one reminded me a lot of you,” he softly chuckled, and your eyes trailed to read the title.

The Silence Between Two Special Songs.

You couldn't pinpoint exactly how or why the title sounded so familiar, but his gift touched you. It touched you so beautifully that it began to sting.

You spent much of your time believing that you weren't important to him. But here you were, about to accept something he delicately planned for you.

“It’s become one of my favorites. I think you will enjoy it, Y/N.”

He leaned over the desk to give you the book. His fingers brushed against yours in the process, and it was as if his single touch ignited your entire body. You felt your heart nearly beat out of your chest. It was an all too familiar feeling.

And it wasn't like you wanted it to be. You just couldn't help it. You couldn't help yourself at all when it came to him, and he had no idea.

He had no idea how you felt electricity run through your veins whenever you were around him—that he was the purest light you’d ever seen, unfiltered and untouched. There was no fault in him.

That was okay.

It was all okay, and it had been for a few years now. So instead of hugging and telling him how much this gesture really meant to you, you simply took the book and thanked him.

This was probably the most you’ve spoken to Hyunjin.

The two of you walked to the dance studio together for practice, but not before stopping to grab a coffee from a nearby cafe on campus.

Although the day progressed rather quickly, you felt awfully drained after your last class. But knowing how Minho was at dance practice, there was no room for lack of energy—especially on the first day. Coffee was needed.

You felt kind of bad, though. Not even three minutes after getting your drinks, Hyunjin had dropped his. He let out the biggest cry, squatting down to watch the liquid follow its trail of gravity.

“I’m dying. This is how I die.”

He was funny. Really funny.

You noticed how you had a completely different laugh when he made you laugh.

You offered your coffee to him, but he insisted that he didn't want it. He was the worst liar. You practically had to shove your drink in his hands before he finally took a sip.

If you were being honest, you should've thought it through. His lips were now encompassing the tip of your straw. You could see the faded pink lip stains left from your tinted lip balm.

If he noticed it too, would he have still drunk from it?

Your mind wandered.

After quietly enjoying your drink, the two of you sped over to the studio for the first practice of the semester. The coffee escapades lasted longer than you both thought.

Once changing, the familiar faces of your teammates were already spread throughout the room following Minho’s stretching routine. He was voted dance captain this year, and you were so proud of him. He worked extremely hard for your school's dance committee these past four years. It was his baby, and he deserved all the praise for it.

You must have taken much longer to change than you anticipated. As you looked around, you already found Hyunjin sitting beside Felix, following the stretches. Earlier, he kept telling you how excited he was to be back finally and how he missed dancing with everyone.

You didn't blame him; dancing was one of the biggest passions he held in his world. He probably had difficulty feeling at home this past year in a different environment.

“Hi Lixie!” You joined beside the blonde, greeting Minho with a slight wave from the front of the room.

Felix gave you a huge smile, “Hey!”

You never really considered yourself a dancer. Freshman year, you happened to audition with Minho because you just wanted to be involved. He suggested it would’ve been a good idea. By the end of auditions, both of you passed and found yourselves a part of the dance team.

It was how you and Minho met Hyunjin and Felix.

And throughout the years you had been a part of the team, you noticed how passionate the boys were. For you, dancing was a hobby. For them, it was their life.

As much as you wanted to lie and say that your crush on Hyunjin started sometime in between the summer before sophomore year, you knew it pitifully happened freshmen year during the middle of practice.

Hyunjin continued following the stretches. His eyes kept looking over at you, “Hey, where’s Yeonjun?”

“He graduated early last year,” Felix informed, wincing as he leaned forward to extend his hamstrings. “I miss him. He was such a great dancer wait—Y/N, remember his senior showcase performance?”

You nodded, following his actions, “How could I forget? Everybody spoke about it all summer.”

“It was insane. I wish you could've seen it, Hyun,” Felix continued.

Hyunjin frowned slightly. He looked out of the loop. “Yeah? I wish I could have too.”

Halfway through practice, Felix had to leave. He had auditions for the theatre club’s seasonal play. He had been preparing all summer for it, nearly missing out on most of the parties just to practice. You wished you had his determination.

The remaining boy beside you looked over at you, “Since when did Felix do theatre?”

You shrugged, “Um… sometime last semester, I think?”

He nodded quietly in understanding, “Oh.”

“Jinnie, is everything okay?”

His eyes widened a little. He didn't expect you to ask him that. “Huh? Oh, yes. It’s just... Felix is so cute. I want to see him audition.”

You studied him suspiciously for a second before deciding to leave him be.

Throughout the rest of practice, you continued to feel his occasional looks whenever he was confused about something. He had been gone for only a year, but you could tell how misplaced he felt right now.

It hurt your heart knowing how excited he was earlier today for practice, but things weren't the same anymore.

He was having a hard time adjusting to the change in everybody’s lives. All he needed was more time to find his place again.

Hyunjin overheard a couple of students talking and turned in your direction for what felt like the billionth time, not that you were complaining though.

“Wait, so we aren't allowed to use the practice rooms freely anymore?"

Before you could respond, Minho sneaked up. “Aw, you guys are so cute,” he butted in sarcastically, startling the both of you. “Get a room.”

Your eyebrows rose, “Hi to you too, Lino.” He was skilled in many things—one of them being sneaking up on people. “... And we are in a room,” you squinted at him.

He squinted back, “No, my room doesn't count.”

“Actua-” you began before Hyunjin quickly covered your mouth with his hand. You swore you were going to continue. You were going to keep going at it with Minho, but… but the way his hand felt against your mouth.

The way his long slender fingers and warm palm refrained you from speaking any further. It encapsulated you perfectly. You couldn't dare say another word. You had no reason or desire to anymore.

You wondered if your lip balm also stained the palm of his hand like it did the straw.

Minho praised the boy's efforts to do damage control. “Good work, Hyunnie. Y/N, don't make me replace his spot in the air fryer with you,” he warned, although you knew it was a joke. That spot was always reserved for Hyunjin. He always knew how to tick off Minho in a specific way. “Anyways, stop flirting and get back to practicing,” he waved off, walking away.

Flirting? Your cheeks instantly heated up, and you hoped Hyunjin couldn't feel it.

He lowered his hand without a word. You were back to feeling the familiar cold air.

He scooted back to where he was on the floor. Yeah, you felt like a fool for some reason because he didn't even show any reaction toward what was just said.

Maybe you were reading into it too much, or perhaps he picked up on selective hearing when he was abroad and didn't hear Minho.

Whichever one it was, you still wanted to hide in a corner.

Practice continued and your nerves were pushed to the back of your head. You had bigger things to worry about, like the choreography you needed to learn by the end of the week.

Learning choreography was still pretty tricky for you, especially after your mind was at rest all summer break. Unlike you, Minho practiced every chance he had and Felix brushed up on it a lot during his preparation for auditions. Hyunjin also didn't count because he was naturally amazing with memorization, so you didn't stand a chance.

You were the only one who fell behind with it because you simply didn't have the mental capacity and energy to practice.

But you tried your best to pick up the most you could, quickly. Minho also walked around occasionally, observing everyone's form, and judging how sharp the movements were.

Despite being best friends with him, he still didn't refrain from telling you how poorly you were doing in the most Minho-like way. He took dance very seriously and could easily flip into strict teacher mode when needed.

After giving critiques to everyone, he returned to the front of the room to teach the next set of choreography for the rest of the half-hour left of practice.

Just when you finally felt confident enough with the former set to start learning more, your eyes spotted a suspicious figure on the other side of the door. You noticed someone peeking through the glass and immediately stifled a laugh as you realized who it was.

Jisung. This was nothing out of the ordinary for him.

If it were anybody else, they would've been too scared to test their luck with Minho—but it was Jisung. Everyone loved Jisung.

Luckily he was smart enough not to enter the room and interrupt practice—Minho would have given him a ton of shit later back at the apartment. So instead, he kept his boundaries and simply waved at you, signaling for you to come.

You slightly furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head at the boy. No way you were going to leave the room when you were already behind in learning the choreography.

But Jisung being Jisung, he persisted, and soon enough, you found yourself raising your hand to call for Minho’s attention. He noticed you through the mirror and raised his eyebrows while waiting for your question.

“Can I use the bathroom?” You asked.

He turned to face you, “I don't know, can you?” You rolled your eyes at his remark before he smirked. “Fine, be quick.”

Hyunjin looked over at you briefly before looking back at Minho, who continued his lesson.

You stepped out into the hallway and saw Jisung leaning against the wall waiting for you. He was dressed in the black Arctic Monkey hoodie he loved so dearly.

Four years ago, the band had a pop-up concert, which happened to be around Jisung’s eighteenth birthday. You fought your hardest to get both of you some tickets, and surprisingly enough, you got them. It meant a lot to you because you knew how much he loved them.

He got his hoodie after the concert ended and never took it off until his mom, funny enough, almost kicked him out for his obsession with it.

Even still you were still surprised how he was able to not ruin it for this long. Either way, you were still happy he loved it enough to wear it religiously.

“Hey thot,” you greeted while walking up to him.

He looked up from his phone and mischievously smirked at you, “My favorite girl. I can’t believe your skipping practice!” He gasped dramatically as if he wasn't the reason.

You brought a finger up to his chest, “You’re so evil, you know that? You’re interrupting my practice time.”

He laughed, “I know.” He opened his arms for a hug and you melted into them like always, even though you were supposed to be annoyed.

“I thought you were with Chan and Bin?”

He nodded slightly, swaying your bodies lazily, “Yeah, I was. But they are working on a song together,” he informed. “Bro, you're really sweaty.”

You pulled halfway to look up at him, “What part from you're interrupting my practice didn't you get?”

He tilted his head, nodding, “Point taken. Wanna grab dinner after?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Why?” He stifled a laugh.

You sighed, falling back into his embrace. He was always so warm whenever he wore that hoodie.

Had this been anybody else in your position, they wouldn't be able to tolerate this boy. But he was your entire world and then some, so you didn't have a choice but to.

“Ji, you really could’ve texted me that.”

“But I was bored just sitting in the studio. I also have writer's block, so…” he dragged on. “Plus, I wanted to see my tiny little dancer,” he ruffled your already messy hair.

You swatted his hand away, finally pulling away from his embrace, “You could've chosen to bother Lino. He would’ve loved to see you.”

He shook his head in response, “Nah. I wanted to see you, though... So, yes?” He proceeded to smile cheekily. It was the kind that made you want to slap it away so badly. He always knew how to tick you off because he always seemed to get what he wanted every time.

You leaned against the wall, “Depends. What’s on the menu?”

“Hmm…” He pondered for a moment, the tip of his index finger tapping his chin, “I’ve been craving a real good taco lately.”

You exhaled defeatedly. That also sounded good, especially after the day you had. “Fine, but you're paying,” you pointed out. He nodded in agreement, throwing the hood of his hoodie over his head. You continued, “—And you’re taking out the trash tonight… and-”

His eyebrows knitted together as he processed what you just said, “Okay, wait—now you’re trippin’. I did that last night!”

“Well, tonight is my turn. Oh, and don't let Minho wake me up tomorrow,” you finished proudly, crossing your arms.

He studied you for a few moments before rolling his eyes. Noticing how he didn't seem to argue back, you clapped your hands together in success.

“See now? This is why we are best friends, Sungie,” you innocently traced your fingers up and down his arm.

He put a hand to his chest, pretending to look offended, “You’re taking advantage of me.”

“Yes, I am. Now leave before you get me in trouble,” you deadpanned, beginning to push him down the hallway. You gave him a quick kiss on his cheek, “Love you.”

Once finishing up practice, you found Jisung waiting for you by the entrance of the building as promised.

Despite the rest of the practice going over half an hour longer, you weren't surprised that he waited for you still. Throughout your friendship, it took many years of you apologizing and feeling sympathetic towards his constant availability when it came to you. It took many more of him dismissing your apologies because he chose to do it.

And well, because, really, he didn't mind when it came to you.

“Oh, Hanji’s here?” Hyunjin pointed out from beside you.

Minho looked up from his phone. “Perfect. He interrupted my practice, right Y/N?”

Your head snapped in his direction, “No way you found out.”

After practice, the three of you fell into a conversation that stemmed throughout the trip to the exit of the building. Inevitably enough, they would've seen Jisung on their way out.

Although you would've rather preferred to walk down alone because of your critically low social battery, you didn't mind the extra company as one of them was Hyunjin. Sorry Minho.

“I’m not dumb. You were not using the bathroom for over five minutes.”

“First of all, I could have been… and second, how did you know I was with Ji?” You questioned.

“Once again, I’m not dumb, Y/N,” he retorted before making his way over to the sitting boy.

A few minutes later, Jisung offered them to join the both of you for dinner, and they accepted.

You didn’t know if you wanted to slap him or kiss him. Instead, you felt chills run down your spine when Hyunjin accepted the invitation.

It was already hard, spending your entire day with him. It also didn't help that neither of your best friends knew about your feelings—Minho or even Jisung. You tried your best to conceal it throughout the years, and you were good at it because you limited your time with Hyunjin. You’d only see him socially or during practice.

Yet this time, something felt different now that he was back. Maybe you were overthinking it. It was the first day of class, so you were probably just overwhelmed.

“Y/N?” Jisung called out.

“Huh?”

“Is barbeque fine?” He repeated, although you didn’t hear him the first time. You looked at him with confusion as three pairs of eyes awaited your response. He continued, “I know we said we were getting tacos earlier, but Lino suggested barbeque. Is that okay?”

You were still slightly startled, and you shrugged, “What? Oh yeah, that’s fine with me.”

A few moments after you answered, Jisung gave you a concerned look at your sudden dissociation. It was evident that he wanted to question your behavior, but thankfully, he restricted himself in front of the group for your sake.

Hyunjin clapped his hands like a kid, a toothless smile forming on his face, “Great!” His dimples pierced through his cheeks. His smile was so beautiful that it hurt you a little more every time. “It’s been a while since I've had Galbi. I think I'm going to fall in love again tonight.”

You were curious to know what love meant to him.

The restaurant was a short walk away from the dance studio. Arriving, the four of you slid into a booth with Jisung beside you and Hyunjin beside Minho.

You didn't talk much along the way as the boys easily entertained each other with whatever topic of conversation was relevant between them. You also didn't bother to include yourself because you were kind of just dreading your current circumstance after further consideration.

If you were being completely honest, you wanted to go home, shower, and hop into bed. But you couldn't because you agreed to have dinner with Jisung.

Even though it sounded good initially, there were now more than enough people to keep him company. There was no need for you to be here anymore.

Nonetheless, Minho ordered for the group. Soon enough, platters of meat and vegetables were placed on the table, ready to be grilled.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Hyunjin asked, looking up at you as he used his chopsticks to grab a piece of radish from the small plate.

Jisung snorted, chewing, “She’s probably just in her usual dilemmas-”

You elbowed the boy beside you and he winced in pain.

“Do it again. Maybe next time, he will leave my class alone,” Minho nonchalantly added as he flipped the grilling meat. He was still bitter from earlier, although you knew deep down he wasn't really mad.

Jisung exclaimed, “Okay, Woah!” He dramatically pouted, “I said I was sorry, honey.”

“Tell that to her missed practice time,” Minho deadpanned before placing bite-sized pieces of meat onto your plate.

The two of them continued to bicker, and you rolled your eyes at the uselessness of their conversation. Of course, you’d never say it because this was how they bonded. They would've been married by now if you weren't in the middle, getting in their way.

You usually would've chuckled at the thought, but you felt a headache starting to form. So you continued to eat the food on your plate in silence as the two boys argued.

Suddenly your phone buzzed, indicating you received a text. You looked down to read the message.

hyunjin: are you ok lol

You glanced across the table at him. He was still looking down at his phone, awaiting your response.

you: yeah, just tiredddd

hyunjin: oh

hyunjin: are you sure?

you: yup :)

hyunjin: hmmm

hyunjin: i’m wondering if i should believe that

you: do you?

hyunjin: i’ll get back to you on that

You lightly laughed to yourself at his cuteness before suddenly, Minho spoke up, pulling you out of your daze and, sadly, back into reality.

“So what are you two lovebirds texting about?” He questioned. Your eyes widened slightly, and you quickly set your phone down like a parent had just caught you.

Hyunjin's cheeks reddened slightly as he followed your actions and set his phone down moments later. He refuted the previous statement, pointing his chopsticks between Jisung and Minho, “More like, what are you two lovebirds talking about?”

You cracked a laugh, covering your mouth. Hyunjin looked over at you briefly, a smile forming.

Jisung turned to look at you questioningly, and he scrutinized you for a few moments before he cleared his throat and reached for the soju bottle placed at the end of the table.

He was really tempted to question you right then and there but decided against it again. He popped the bottle open, “Anyways, Hyunjin tell us more about abroad.”

The night continued, and soon enough, the four of you parted ways. Well, you and Jisung parted ways from the remaining two. Minho had a night class, so he had to return to campus, and Hyunjin returned to his dorm, which he shared with Seungmin.

As much as you would still like to be freshly showered and in bed, by the end of dinner, your mood had lightened up.

And despite how much you wanted to lie and act like it was because of all the amazing food you ate, you knew that it was because of Hyunjin’s random texts that continued throughout dinner.

It surprised you at first.

You were surprised he even had your number still. The last time you guys texted was sometime during sophomore year, and it was about dance. So yeah, you were shocked he still had it.

Jisung’s voice invaded your thoughts, “How was your first day?” He walked beside you, shoving his hands in the wide pocket of his hoodie. The walk back home wasn't far.

You shrugged lazily and lightly kicked the small rock in front of you, “Same old. You?”

“I’m switching out of my Econ class. The professor is an ass,” he informed, scrunching his nose in distaste at the reminder.

If it were Minho to say this, you would've been a bit more cautious depending on his mood, but it was Jisung, so your first reaction was to laugh. You could always rely on him to make you laugh whenever he hated something.

He shook his head at your reaction disapprovingly, “I see you’re laughing at my pain. Find a new bestie.”

You poked at his cheek and pouted as he tried to pull away, “Aw, you just make it so easy, Sungie.”

“Anyways,” he playfully rolled his eyes and swatted your hand away. Finally leaving him alone, he spoke up again, “So, what was up with you tonight? Everything good?” He was referring to your quietness at dinner. You nodded in response, and he raised an eyebrow at your lack of words. He stopped in his tracks, “Wait, did you actually find a new bestie?”

“Is someone jealous?” You teased, causing him to release an immediate scoff. Noticing how he was seconds away from arguing back, you rolled your eyes as you were too tired from your long day to continue. “Jisung, you should stop smoking crack. It’s making you delusional.”

He looked at you suspiciously, trailing behind you slowly, “So nothing is going on with you and Hyunjin?”

Your eyes widened at the name and you slapped your hand over his mouth, “Can you keep it down!” You looked around the street to make sure nobody else was there.

“He isn't here,” he attempted to say, although it was muffled due to your hand. You pulled away from him, and he smirked, “So I assume this means a yes, then?”

“Absolutely not.”

He paused briefly, squinting at you amusingly, “You’re lying.”

“I am not.”

Suddenly your phone lit up, indicating you had a text.

hyunjin: i made it home!

hyunjin: it was really nice seeing you today y/n :)

Jisung snorted, reading the texts over your shoulder. He was so nosey. He shook his head, not believing your former words, “I’m sorry, but respectfully, please shut the fuck up. I’ve known you my entire life. There’s obviously something going on. You guys barely talk, and now your texting.”

Honestly, you found it odd how Jisung never noticed your feelings for Hyunjin all these years. He knew everything about you and could depict things before you could decipher them. You found it strange, but you never questioned it.

In his defense, you barely spoke to Hyunjin before so he probably never paid much attention to it.

Your constant silence whenever Hyunjin ever tagged along in group activities. The way you stole secret glances whenever he spoke—even avoiding the name Hyunjin altogether. He probably never put all these things together.

But now, something had changed. You found yourself talking to him more and looking at him like you wanted to be looked at.

So yeah, something definitely had changed… or perhaps it was just because you had spent all day with him, which wasn't usual to begin with.

For Jisung, it seemed like you were shy around Hyunjin all these years. While that was partially true, you liked to say that you only spoke to him when you needed to. Jisung couldn't blame you, either. Hyunjin was a good-looking guy. Hell, he’d be nervous too.

“Yeah, you’ve known me your whole life… so you should know that nothing is going on,” you continued. “We just have a lot of classes together now.”

He wasn't sure if he believed you. He debated on whether or not to continue this topic. Quite frankly, he still felt slightly tipsy from the soju he drank. He began to believe that maybe he really was being delusional because of it.

“Hmm, okay,” he hummed. “—Oh! I forgot to tell you this earlier, but 3Racha landed a gig this Friday!” he exclaimed, finally changing the subject.

You looked up from the dull pavement, stopping in your tracks, gasping. “Wait, what? Oh my gosh, Jisung! That's amazing!” You immediately engulfed him in a hug. It was insane how he could have you wanting to bite his head off one second and wanting to hug him with all your might the next. “Where is it?”

He felt his cheeks warm up a little as you pulled away.

“Uh—” he cleared his throat lightly, trying his best to shake away his sudden fluster. Stupid Soju. “It's at Mood Lounge.”

Your mouth dropped, “Mood? You guys always wanted to perform there— this is just… wow.” You smiled, “I’m so proud of you guys.”

He smugly bowed, making you laugh at his goofiness. “Thank you, baby,” he cheekily smiled before raising a finger inquisitively. “I’m expecting a Baja blast from you after the concert, alright?”

Your former laughter faded into a light groan, “But I bought you one last time, it’s Minho’s turn.”

He whined, “But I want it from you. Minho will just be too difficult.”

It was apparent that he wanted to get a rise out of you, and maybe if you had more energy, you would have argued back. But your headache from earlier was growing and you were still beaming with joy from his sudden news.

You sighed, giving him a soft smile. This was still Jisung, your entire world, and much more. You could care less about an iced slushy.

You looped your arm around him, hugging him tightly as you both continued your walk back home, “Fine, Sungie. I’ll buy you all the Baja blasts in the universe if it makes you happy.”

The school week went by fairly quickly.

Although it consisted of the same schedule, you couldn't help but find a sense of security in the routine: wake up to your roommates barging in your room, go to class, and then go to practice right after.

This feeling was new to you as you quickly tended to grow bored of things. You accepted that maybe you were growing up to be a mature adult who appreciated stableness.

Or it was because nearly everything about your day included Hyunjin, which made you much happier.

Now that it was Friday and finally the start of the weekend, it was the night of 3Racha’s performance at Mood Lounge. You still were so incredibly ecstatic for your friends in securing such an amazing gig at an upcoming club in the city.

The club had just opened up sometime midsummer, so you hadn't been there yet, but Jisung had told you that many well-known artists and producers were always there. It was a huge deal.

Seungmin groaned impatiently from the couch. It was half past nine and you were supposed to be on your way to the club by now. “Are you guys almost ready? We’re going to be late.”

The door to your room was wide open, so you and Felix could hear Seungmin’s constant complaining. You were in the middle of helping the blonde with his winged eyeliner as he still struggled with perfecting his.

You were honestly surprised Felix was able to come. He’d been incredibly busy with his schedule to hang out with anyone.

The brunette that was sat beside Seungmin laughed, “Beauty takes time, Minnie.”

“Thank you, Jeongin,” Felix directed dramatically toward Seungmin before bursting into laughter at his unchanged expression. Seungmin and Minho were borderline twins, and you were so sure of it. You scolded Felix for moving too much as you finished up his liner. “Sorry!” He apologized cutely.

You closed the lid of the liquid eyeliner. “Okay, we’re done.”

Seungmin automatically stood up, “Finally.” You laughed at his obvious desire to leave.

He was the one that was driving you all there and back, so if he wanted to leave, he could've. But deep down, as much as he didn't want to admit it, Seungmin was too nice. Honestly, if you had to choose one of the boys you felt more similar to, it would be him. You both shared the same major, interests, and personality—hmm, maybe he was your twin instead.

The drive to Mood Lounge didn't feel too long, although it was nearly half an hour away since you all lived near campus.

You called shotgun and spent most of the drive talking to Seungmin about a new book released from your favorite series last week.

This reminded you, you still had to start the one Hyunjin had given you. You didn't have time during the week to begin. Maybe you’d start it this weekend, you thought.

“Are you going to cover it for this month's book club meeting?” Seungmin asked you, invading your thoughts.

You paused. “Which book?” You debated asking Seungmin if he had heard of the book Hyunjin had given you.

He lightly chuckled, confused about your own confusion. “Uh… the book we were just talking about?” He was referring to the book from your favorite series.

Your face reddened in embarrassment, “Oh, that book! Hm, maybe.”

The both of you fell back into conversation on more books and later discussed his feelings on the girl he tutored.

He was flustered and kept denying any allegations but as good as he was at keeping his personal life private, you read right through him. You decided to let him be once you realized he wouldn't budge.

As for Felix and Jeongin, they were too busy having a rap battle in the backseat to even acknowledge the conversation. If they did, they would've bombarded Seungmin with questions. It was better for him this way.

Once arriving, the four of you walked towards the lounge entrance. You could hear the loud music blaring from the parking lot. There wasn't much of a line, but many people were outside smoking, chatting, and probably waiting for friends.

Speaking of which, Felix spotted two of them by the entrance. “There's Hyunnie and Lino!” He exclaimed, walking towards them.

Maybe you were being a little too dramatic for an average person when you said that it felt like your heart dropped almost twenty stories at that moment. But it made perfect sense to you when the reasoning behind it was that you saw two unfamiliar girls standing beside them.

“They brought dates?” Jeongin questioned before following behind Felix.

Seungmin also trailed behind him, which meant you needed to start walking before they noticed your missing presence. You didn't want to give off the impression that something was wrong, so you put on the best poker face and met up with everyone by the doors.

You heard Felix ask for the two girls' names to which they responded.

He smiled, “Nice to meet you guys! I’m Felix.” Jeongin and Seungmin later followed. All that was left was for you to introduce yourself. But as much as you wanted to walk inside the building and watch the performance without saying a word, you’d feel like a jealous bitch.

“I’m Y/N,” you added and they both gave you a smile in response. You felt Hyunjin’s eyes on you, but you tried your best not to look in his general direction. “We should probably go inside so we can get good seats,” you suggested, cutting it short.

Soon enough, you all found yourselves sitting around a table close to the stage. You were very excited about Jisung’s performance, so hopefully, it started soon. You could already tell what the vibes were going to be like.

The girls had gone to the bathroom, so you were left with the boys.

“Lino, since when did you get a girl and how come I’m just finding out?” You questioned him; you could still feel Hyunjin’s gaze.

He had a thing about him. It was his eyes. They kind of said, "I am here, I exist, loudly,” in such a quiet way. He didn't need to be loud to be noticed. He just existed quietly but noticeably. He was silently loud.

Minho laughed, “If I’m being honest, I don’t know them.” A few moments later, he stood up from his seat, asking what everyone wanted to drink. He ultimately decided to get shots for the table.

The three boys you came with wanted to grab snacks, so they followed behind Minho to the bar. You protested to help them, but all that resulted in was Minho ridiculously lecturing you on how you should always let a man do everything for you and take advantage of it.

He was right, and frankly, you didn't even want to help. You just didn't want to be alone with Hyunjin. Especially when the girls came back, it sounded like such an awkward situation that you didn't want to be a part of.

Once the boys left, the boy waved at you, “Hi.” He gave you a soft smile.

You were doing a great job of acting like he didn't exist, and you started to feel bad. You didn't even know why you wanted to avoid him so badly. He didn't do anything wrong.

Looking up from your phone, you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Oh, hey.”

There was a long pause.

“Um—cool shirt,” he complimented. Once again, his heart was full of gold.

Finally smiling at him, you began to respond. “Thanks, it’s actually—”

“Is that my shirt?!” A familiar voice exclaimed.

“...It’s actually Jisung’s shirt,” you finished as Jisung plopped beside you on the couch.

He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, throwing an arm over your shoulder. He looked at his graphic shirt that you wore before tutting at you, “And you didn’t even ask! How rude.”

Hyunjin awkwardly laughed.

You rolled your eyes at the boy beside you, “Well, that’s what best friends are for.” You sarcastically smiled at him, proceeding to ask, “Where are the boys?”

Jisung took a sip from the iced americano he had brought with him. It was probably his third one of the day. Typical jisung; of course, he would get drunk off coffee rather than liquor.

“They are in the back setting up. We’re on in fifteen, but I just wanted to say hi to everyone first,” he informed before noticing the lack of people at the table. “Speaking of… where is everyone?”

“The bar,” Hyunjin butted in, pointing over to it.

A few seconds had passed before the two girls from earlier finally returned to the table. It took them long enough.

“Uh, and… who are they?” Jisung questioned, mainly to himself, but you could hear him. Nobody else seemed to pick up on his confusion, so you guessed they didn't notice.

You shrugged, growing a little jealous at the sudden attention they were getting from Jisung now too.

“Hyunjin’s dates, I guess?” You needed to calm down. It really wasn't that serious. The girls were probably really sweet.

Jisung hummed in response, studying one of the girls that caught his eye.

From your point of view, he really could’ve closed his mouth. It looked like he was about to drool. You rolled your eyes.

But from his point of view, he wasn't interested in her per se. She just looked slightly familiar to him. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

The girl found his gaze, “You’re Jisung, right?” She was close to Hyunjin on the couch; his arm was lazily placed on the couch overhead. You took the iced americano from Jisung’s hand and drank it.

Where was Minho with the shots?

“U-Uh yeah! You are?”

She smiled at him, “Bora.'' Now it clicked. Jisung’s eyes quickly darted over at Hyunjin once he connected the dots. Hyunjin was already nervously looking over at him.

Was there something that you were missing? Maybe you should go to the bar because you seriously needed that damn shot.

It clicked for Jisung; You didn't know it at the time, but Bora was a special girl Hyunjin met when he was abroad. Not everyone knew of her or how close Hyunjin and her really were, aside from Jisung and Chan. He accidentally drunkenly told them about her one night over a video call.

Jisung was just surprised that they were still together. He could’ve sworn that Hyunjin and her called it quits when they returned. Well, that’s what Hyunjin told him the night of his Welcome Back dinner.

The boy beside you looked down at you, “Fuck Y/N, you finished the coffee.”

Your mouth was full of ice. “Blame Minho.”

He sighed, letting you be, and fell into conversation with the girls. Hyunjin occasionally spoke, his laughter consuming you. Well, not consuming you only; it was clear Bora was definitely feeling it too.

You were just good at hiding it. This really sucked.

Another few minutes passed of small talk before everyone returned to the table, and Jisung decided he needed to go backstage.

He was supposed to be on in about five minutes now, and just like always, you didn't feel an ounce of worry for him. Yeah, he was usually shy and reserved towards people he didn't know, but he was such a natural whenever he performed. You could never worry about him when it came to it.

And just as expected, the concert was amazing.

It had been a couple of months since 3Racha had a gig, and you could see it mentally draining the three boys whenever they tried to find opportunities. Especially during the summer when they worked their asses off. It was a tough time, but they produced and wrote nearly daily and released many new songs.

So, you were proud of them that night.

The three boys joined everyone back at the table as the performance ended. As they arrived, there was a round of applause, the three of them grinning so cutely as if they didn't just rap their asses off on stage minutes ago.

Felix smiled hugely, opening his arms for Changbin to engulf him in a hug, “You guys did so well!”

“Thank you guys for coming. It means a lot,” Chan humbly showed his gratitude. He was so selfless and hard-working that the least we could all do was show up.

Minho stood up, cutting the sappy moment short. He had two shots in his hands, “Shut up and take this.” He passed it to Chan and Changbin. He then grabbed the entire vodka bottle and directed it toward Jisung, “Open your mouth, honey.”

Jisung’s jaw fell, shocked. “Wait, Lino… Let's talk about it—” He attempted to protest before later surrendering. You laughed loudly at his fate. There was no way he was getting out of this one.

You extended your arm for the bottle, “I wanna do it.” Minho gave it to you, and everyone around cheered the boy on.

Jisung, on the other hand, begged and pleaded with you with his eyes not to put too much.

He leaned his head back and opened his mouth. You poured slowly, filling up his mouth halfway with the clear liquid.

As he swallowed, his adam’s apple followed the movements. Anyone in their right mind would’ve been lying if they said he didn't look hot at that moment. If you were one of the two girls at the table, you would’ve actually been interested.

He was all sweated out and mouth open.

You curiously turned to look over at the girls hoping to catch one of them eyeing down your best friend—more so hoping for Bora to instead of her friend—but she was too busy laughing at whatever Hyunjin whispered in her ear to notice.

Before you could even process what was happening between them, Jisung’s reaction brought you back to reality. He was pretty dramatic as usual, nearly gagging at the taste of the vodka. Everyone knew he couldn’t handle alcohol well and was the biggest lightweight.

Nonetheless, the night was still young, and everyone kept drinking, including him.

And time seemed to fly and soon it was nearly two in the morning. You were starting to grow quite sleepy.

Seungmin was already napping on the opposite side of the couch, and you wished that was you. It sucked that he was on driving duty and had to stay sober all night. You couldn't blame him for falling asleep.

Maybe it was the alcohol or just spending your entire night watching the love of your life laugh and talk to some random girl for hours on end, but you really just wanted to go home and fucking pass out.

"You're staring at him again,” Jisung sighed as he looked over at you.

“Who? Seungmin?”

“No. Hyunjin.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and rolled your eyes. You weren't even looking at Hyunjin. Were you?

You didn't even have the energy capacity to give the boy beside you the typical, stupid ‘what are you talking about’ statement. You knew exactly what he was talking about, but seemingly enough, you didn't care at that moment.

You’d probably regret this in the morning.

"I'm not staring at him," you replied, now turning to look at Jisung. His eyes were locked on you. "I simply just gazed over in a direction, and he was there,” you implied.

He drunkenly laughed, "Then what was that look on your face?"

"What look?" Okay, maybe now you had the energy to pull off the typical stupid ‘what are you talking about’ statement.

He nudged your shoulder, "You look a certain way whenever you look at Hyun—" he informed before you pressed a single finger onto his lips. Realizing that Minho was pretty damn close to you both, you needed to shut him up quickly.

Just because he was drunk didn't mean he was going to expose you in front of your face. He almost said Hyunjin’s name so casually, and although he couldn't hear due to his distance and prominent company, your crazy friend beside you could potentially have.

Jisung snickered against your finger, jokingly kissing it. "If you don't want me to say this here, can we talk elsewhere then?" He asked inquiringly.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there's nothing to talk about, Jisung. That's why.”

"Fine, you want me to call him over and ask?" He wouldn't dare. “You have been acting weird lately, and as your best friend, I think I should know—wait, what was I saying again?”

He was too drunk. You wondered if he had the courage to ask Hyunjin. Deep down, he knew the consequences, right? But then again, he was drunk…

Finally remembering the context, he continued, "Okay, bet. Hyunj—"

Your eyes widened, and your entire hand automatically slapped over his mouth, "Han Jisung!" This led to both Hyunjin and Minho looking over in your direction. Minho turned away rather quickly to continue his conversation with Chan while Hyunjin’s gaze lingered for a few seconds.

You looked down at your compromising position, nearly on Jisung’s lap. You sighed, "Fine. You want to talk? Let’s go." A huge grin plastered onto the boy’s face.

To be honest, you were fucking annoyed. You just wanted to go home and drop this.

The both of you made your way from the table to the hallway near the bathrooms in the most unsuspicious way possible. Hyunjin’s eyes diverted onto you once more until the both of you had left the vicinity.

You wondered if Bora was starting to bore him literally.

As soon as you both turned the corner, you crossed your arms, "Alright, now what?"

"Do you like Hyunjin?"

"N-"

It was his turn to put a finger against your lips, "Please stop lying, or else I will laugh in your face Y/N." Resisting the strong urge to slap the boy in front of you, you exhaled, swatting his finger away. He continued, "You know, you can tell me anything."

“I definitely do not like Hyunjin,” you lied. He scrutinized you for a few moments before you rolled your eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like that! Like I’m lying.”

He was amused, “But you are lying, Y/N.”

You figured he wouldn't remember this anyways, so you didn't bother arguing further. Instead, you sighed, “Who was that girl all up on him anyway?”

“Who, Bora?” He cleared his throat and put a finger up to his chin. “Hmm—no clue.”

“Okay, now you’re definitely lying…” You squinted and he busted out laughing. “Jisung, you're wasting my time,” you turned in your heels to walk away before he grabbed your arm to make you face him again.

"Bro," he stretched out the syllable. “No, I’m not. This night is about 3Racha anyway, so no time is being wasted.” It was crazy how much his mouth could conjure up these sentences. Honestly, you had to give him props because nobody ever spoke as much as he did.

His eyes traveled down to the shirt you wore. “Dude, my shirt looks so fucking good,” he suddenly rambled.

“Duh, it's because I'm wearing it.”

He cheekily smiled. “For sure the case,” he agreed before he blinked a couple of times in realization. “Wait, how drunk am I?” he asked, feeling his forehead.

“Very.”

He exhaled, “Wow, I can't believe you're interested in Hwang Hyunjin.”

“I’m not, but go off.” You furrowed your eyebrows, “Either way, I mean, why is that so hard to believe?”

“Y/N, you haven't even kissed anybody yet.”

“Okay, and you haven’t in how many years? You're point is?”

He put his hand to his chest, “First off, ouch. This isn’t even about me. My point is, Hyunjin’s just really experienced, that’s why,” he clarified. “If you want him, you should probably start with someone who can teach you some things—I don't know.” He sighed before closing his eyes, “I think I'm drunk.”

You chuckled at his self-awareness. It took him long enough. Despite being annoyed by him, he unarguably looked so cute drunk. You raised your eyebrows, “Oh, you think so?” You helped him off the wall that he was leaning on. “C'mon, let's just go home.”

He nodded as you put his arm over your shoulder.

The two of you walked back out to the table so you could gather your belongings and take a taxi back home. Of course, everyone back at the table was concerned and asked questions regarding what happened to the boy who was nearly passed out around your shoulder.

But honestly, all you thought about was how you just hoped he wouldn't remember the conversation you had in the morning.

It turned out that Jisung had pretty good memory.

This meant that you couldn’t have a single speck of peace whenever you encountered him the next few days. Even something as simple as walking past his bedroom resulted in him asking you if there were any updates with Hyunjin with the most mischievous smirk displayed.

Three weeks had passed, and much to your favor, the topic of Hwang Hyunjin had slowly started to diminish.

This was music to your ear as you didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it any longer. You had been secretly crushing on him for years, and it felt all too weird for someone else to know. It surprised you still, though. How couldn't Jisung tell? How did he just find out about everything almost four years after?

The weekend had just rolled in, and you were ready to catch up on all the sleep you finally missed throughout the week. Minho went home for the weekend, and Jisung usually spent his weekends at Chan’s studio making music, so all this meant was that you would have the best self-care weekend ever.

You could use a girl friend right about now. It never occurred to you until times like this when you wondered how you spent all your time lacking a stable friendship with one.

It wasn't like you were opposed to the idea. In an ordinary world, you would’ve loved to gossip and do whatever girls usually did when they were together. But that would've sounded fun in high school. Maybe even freshmen year of college.

But now that seemed like awfully too much work. Besides, it wasn't as if you purposely went out of your way to have your current friends; in your defense, you only met them through Jisung and Minho.

It had been a couple of hours since you had been sprawled out on the couch alone, binging the new season of your favorite show, before you decided it was time to also binge on some ice cream.

Chocolate chip cookie dough. Your favorite.

Once retrieving it from the freezer and pressing play on the next episode, the front door opened.

“Yo,” Jisung greeted, and you waved back at him. He came home early.

He had his duffle bag slung over his shoulder as he went through the mail he picked up from the mailbox in the lobby. He hovered an envelope over you, “Uh oh, your license is expiring.” There was a big warning stamp in red print.

You groaned, “Great.”

He continued to shuffle through the rest of the mail, opening whichever ones were under his name. “You don't even own a car, bro, so it’s okay. And you kinda suck at driving anyway, so-”

“Jisung, you hit a pole like four times.” You propped up on the couch to face him.

“And you ran into the bushes too many times to count. We’re on the same page, baby,” he counterargued. He had a point.

You shooed him away, laying back down, “Arent you supposed to be at Chan’s for the weekend?”

He dropped his duffle beside the couch, “Yeah, I was, but Bin’s sister came over.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”

“I think she and Chan will finally tell Bin they are dating.”

You hummed as Jisung lifted your legs so he could sit underneath, “And you’re not going to do damage control?”

“No way. I’m definitely not going to get in between that. Dude, Changbin’s going to freak.”

“But Chan’s a great guy. Binnie knows that.” You added.

He nodded, “Yeah, but it’s different when it’s your sister and best friend. Plus, it has been secretly going on for months, you know?” He paused for a couple of moments, “Actually, I don't know. I don't have a sister.”

You chuckled at his comment, “Nah, I get what you mean.” Soon enough, the conversation died down, and you focused your attention on the TV again, occasionally looking at whatever Jisung wanted to show you on his phone.

He spoke up again after a few minutes, “So, no date tonight with Hyunjin?” You flicked your eyes over to him before choosing not to answer his obvious question. He laughed, “You’re annoyed.”

You exhaled, moving your eyes back onto the TV, “What am I going to do with you."

He licked his lips, "Well, if you want my opinion-"

"I don't," you deadpanned.

“You should text him,” he insisted, and your eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you giving me that look?”

You pursed your lips, a finger on your chin, “Hm, I don’t know… maybe repeat the question and listen to it again.”

“Wha—”

“You must be delirious—I’m not texting Hyunjin.”

“Why not? Remember when he texted you after dinner last week… and during it?”

You sighed, “I already know how this will go, and I’m not going back and forth with you, Ji.” You shoved a spoonful of your ice cream into your mouth. He opened his mouth for a bite and you gave him one before continuing, “Plus, it’s Hyunjin we’re talking about, he doesn’t like me.”

“You and Hyunjin are friends. Of course, he likes you.”

“But not like that,” you added. “So there's no point in texting him.”

He thought for a few moments, “Should I set you up with one of our friends and see how he reacts? Then we’ll know!”

You wished it was that easy.

Jisung didn’t know just how much you cared for Hyunjin. How much he really meant to you. You would quite literally move the entire world for him. You would get these butterflies around him, and they weren't the normal ones you got when you were nervous.

They were far more extreme.

There were so many of them, and they were so powerful that it felt like they could just pick you up and carry you away. But your best friend beside you didn't understand, and you couldn’t entirely blame him. He just didn’t know.

You gave him a soft smile, “That's okay, Sungie. It'd take hours to explain.”

It was evident to him how you grew rather sad now. Maybe he was pushing it by bringing Hyunjin up. He’d expect you to continue the banter and probably say how gross it would be if you tried to get with anybody else from the group, but you didn’t.

Instead, you grabbed the remote to rewind the show for a couple of seconds. You had missed a fighting scene.

A few seconds passed before you finally felt Jisung’s gaze. You lightly laughed, “What? I was distracted.”

“Nothing. It’s just... I'd listen to you for hours, you know that right?”

“Of course.”

He nodded to himself before speaking up again, “And you know that I only ever want you to be happy.”

You nervously laughed, confused at the sudden sentiment. “Yes, Sungie. What are you on about?”

It took him a couple of moments to say what exactly he was thinking. “What if—” he stopped himself, a chuckle escaping his lips at how ridiculous he was about to sound. “Fuck…” he dragged a hand down his face before continuing, “—What if I helped you?”

You raised an eyebrow quizzically, ”Helped me how?”

His face reddened slightly, and it looked like he had grown quite nervous suddenly.

He cleared his throat, shrugging, “I don’t know. Help you with… things?” He said it in a rather question which made you snicker to yourself. He looked so nervous. The last time you saw him grow red like was when he tried to ask a girl out freshman year. He groaned, seeing your expression, “Shut up.”

“And what are those things?” You gave him an amusing smile.

You had a slight idea of where he was taking this; quite frankly, there was no way in hell it was happening. But still, you wanted to hear him say it just to mess with him.

His face flushed even more than you thought possible, “I don't know… making Hyunjin jealous or practicing on me before—Sorry, I’m cringing so hard right now.” You laughed at his reaction to his own words. “If you're my best friend, you would ignore everything I just said, okay?”

You paused the show that played in the background throughout. You weren't watching it anymore. “Jisung, you haven't even kissed a girl since our freshmen year—and that was your first.”

“Yep, that’s right.”

You chuckled at his adamant, straightforward answer. “Yes, so why would I want to practice on somebody inexperienced?” You questioned.

He crossed his arm, “Because I would never judge you.” You gave him a dumbfounded look in response, even though he was slightly making sense. Looking at your unchanged expression, he sighed. “You know what? I said forget about it already—”

“Fine.”

He cleared his throat. “Fine?” He reiterated it slowly.

You nodded in response, shrugging, “Yeah. I realized that if I reach thirty without my first kiss, I’ll probably end up kissing you anyways. So sure, why not.”

“Okay, rude. What if I get a wife by then?”

You almost burst out laughing. “Not possible.”

He dramatically threw your legs off him, but you just put them back. He didn't end up arguing further and just playfully rolled his eyes, picking on the loose fabric of your sweatpants.

“Is that okay with you?” You asked him.

He looked over at you and swallowed the lump in his throat that he didn't realize was there. He nodded hesitantly a few moments later, “Yeah, whatever.” His cheeks still beamed the color red.

“Great, it’s settled. You’re taking my lip virginity away,” you clapped your hands together.

His mouth dropped, “Gross, bro, why are you saying it like that?”

Disregarding his question, you waved him off. “Not now, though,” You shoved another spoonful of ice cream in your mouth before grabbing the remote and pressing play on the show.

It wasn't until he finally got up and went into his room that you processed what just happened.

The interaction didn't properly sink in until you recalled every sentence shared between the both of you. You had willingly agreed to practice on Han Jisung, your best friend since diapers.

Your lip virginity? You cringed. Him helping you with… things? As you said, there was no way.

You placed the back of your hand on your forehead as your eyes widened in realization, “Am I insane?”

As for the boy down the hall, he felt his heart race a bit differently for the first time in a while.

He couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason why. It was only you. In fact, in the past, you both joked that if you were both old and single, you’d marry each other. It was funny before, and it should be funny now.

But why was all of this feeling a bit too real? Real enough for him to grow a good kind of nervous. Was he excited? He had no idea what to think. His mind felt jumbled up, and he wasn't sure why he wasn't too upset about it.

He collapsed onto his bed, unable to hide the smile on his face. Whatever it was that was said between you two of you was done. The both of you couldn’t take it back.

And if he was being completely honest, he didn’t want to.

He exhaled, “I must be insane.”

let me know your thoughts about the first chapter! i’m interested to hear your opinions :) stay healthy <3

masterlist

taglist:

@hyynee

#stray kids #skz #han jisung #skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung smut #han jisung imagines #han jisung x reader #hyunjin fanfic #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skz smut #series #jisung fanfic #stray kids han jisung

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awildlion · 7 months

Text

Finding A Way

Johnny Silverhand x V

A quick hurt & comfort fic because I had a night and I gotta get my emotions out. First fic I've posted on tumblr in years but I can't stop thinking about this pairing

!!! TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE !!!

It had only been a week since Night City's most notorious terrorist had taken his parasitic residence inside your head, but it felt like it had been years. You really get to know someone once they're physically unable to leave your side; and despite your frequent spats over trivial things like cigarettes and which gun is better, you've slowly grown fond of Silverhand. Despite the fact that his engram was slowly deteriorating your neurons, you had quickly gotten to the point where you didn't know what life would be like without the sarcastic asshole constantly by your side for his own version of moral support. Some could argue that he was a bad influence, but in the loneliest city in the New United States of America, any company was company worth having. And despite his cynical attitude, you could tell he was growing fond of you too. Perhaps it was your personalities merging as the engram slowly consumed your brain, but it had become easier to find common ground in the struggle of existing together. Maybe it was also pity from Silverhand's perspective that had made him more agreeable, as the side effects of losing yourself became more obvious.

It had started with the migraines, blurry vision, similar to the neural viruses you had experienced working as a merc. Over time though, your mental awareness began to wane. You often found yourself staring at nothing in particular, unable to gather your thoughts or make the witty responses you were known for. Forgetting things was another common side effect, and recently the people once important to you had also begun to fade from your mind. You felt slower, as if twenty pound weights were being added to your body with each day that passed. Your whole body had begun to ache, and neural shocks seizing your body had only grown more common place. As the hopelessness of your situation continued to sink in, it felt like your body had begun to check out; and the jolting pain as your own nerves were burned out of your brain by the biochip was a constant reminder of your impending fate.

Sitting atop Misty's Esoterica in the shitty plastic chairs she had introduced you to, you look out to the bright lights and take a long drag of your cigarette. You cough as the chemicals fill your lungs, closing your eyes tight to try and bring back memories of a happier time. Your parents, what did they look like? You remember looking up to them, but their faces were just an unrecognizable blur. It hurt that even the people who brought you into this world were no longer anything but a fading relic, and so you fill your lungs with more smoke to distract yourself from the haze filling your brain. You stand from the chair, flicking your cigarette into the half filled ashtray and walking to the ledge to lean against it and take in the views. You peer over the edge, trying to spot Jackie's motorcycle parked on the pavement below. As you bring your gaze upward, you feel another jolt from your brain travel down your body- making your twitch and cry out in pain and frustration. The shocks were growing more intense and frequent with every hour, and you could feel your window of opportunity towards recovery from the damage quickly closing. Fighting through the pain was getting harder to the point where you questioned if your life was worth the effort. After all, you still blamed yourself for Jackie's death, what did it matter if you joined him in whatever came afterwards? You take another look off the edge, leaning over the concrete barrier and letting yourself tip forward slightly to judge the distance of the fall. It would surely be enough, wouldn't it?

"I know what you're thinking, don't do it V."

"Of course you know what I'm thinking, you're in my brain jackass"

"Just going to give up now? We got some promising leads, Rogue managed to-"

"We got leads, but we don't have time, Johnny.... it hurts. It's getting worse, and I don't want to die in the middle of a gun fight and leave her stranded."

You sigh and look to your left, where Silverhand sits with his gaze averted from yours. He takes his glasses off and folds them, tucking them into his vest and sliding his digital hand towards your arm without turning to face you. You look at the metal hand, that glitches in and out of your perception- a stark reminder that even your closest friend isn't even truly there with you.

"C'mon V, we can go-"

"No." You cut him off, gripping onto the concrete ledge and hoisting yourself to stand on it. You feel the wind blow through your hair as you once again look down into the empty parking lot outside Misty's, and your body sways back and forth as you gather your courage.

"There's no point in putting anyone else in any more danger Johnny, I can't do it. It's fucking hopeless anyways, I won't-" you find yourself choking over your words, your usual stoicism crumbled as you face the end.

"I won't risk losing anyone else trying to save my life."

"V-"

You manage to bring your gaze back to Johnny, who's now looking directly into your eyes with a hand out stretched towards you. Silverhand had never shown much emotion, but you could feel the weight of your shared sadness. He seemed at a loss for words as well, and for a moment, you just stared at each other.

"Please." Johnny chokes out, screwing his eyes shut to try and hide the tears welling up. It catches you by surprise- he's never said please, much less cried in front of you.

"I don't- I can't let you go. Not like this." He murmurs, attempting to grab you with his synthetic hand. You can almost feel the cool metal brush against your skin as he brings himself to stand next to you.

"It'd be over... I wouldn't have to put up with any of this shit anymore." You whisper, feeling your own eyes fill with tears and quickly blinking them away. "Johnny, I don't want to do this anymore."

"I know. Can't imagine how shitty it is to lose yourself like this. But V- I'm not going anywhere." You feel his presence merge with yours, and you notice your hand reaching up to caress your cheek. You lean into the touch, shakily exhaling as Johnny wraps your other arm around your body to bring yourself into a hug.

"We can't end it like this- a stain on the fucking pavement. You're the better me V, the me I wish I could've been. And I won't let you go." You squeeze yourself tighter, unsure who is in control of your arms but knowing that Johnny is trying his hardest to hold you still.

You stand there in silence, allowing Johnny to slide your own hands gently up and down your body. You can't remember the last time you got a hug from someone else, but you knew it felt something like this. Johnny's voice now echoes through your thoughts:

"I've never been good at the sappy shit- but meeting you is the best fucking thing that's happened to me. And if I could rip myself out of your head right now to save you, I would."

"But you can't, Johnny. We both know how this is going to end- the biochip is going to overwrite my mind and leave you with my broken fucked up body to deal with."

"You know, I've come to like your body. Sure, nerves might be a little shot, but it's got you in it, and that's pretty damn great."

You let a couple tears escape your closed eyes, chuckling to yourself at the absurdity of the situation you've found yourself in. You know he isn't there with you physically, but you can feel his soul wrapped around yours, cradling your psyche with his spirit.

"V- no matter what happens, I'll be with you. Even if we fail miserably, I'm not giving up on you, or letting you give up on yourself."

You open your eyes and find that you've stepped down from the edge, still holding yourself in your arms.

"Well.... at least I know that when I finally kick the bucket, I'll have given it my best shot." You manage to curl your lips into a small smile, feeling Johnny reciprocate the smile from inside your mind.

"We'll save you yet, V. I promised you I'd do anything to save your life, didn't I?"

You release yourself from your hold to touch the dog tags dangling around your neck, letting your fingers run along the chain. Underneath that necklace is the bullet- resting against your chest as a constant reminder of the second chance you've been given.

"You already have saved my life, Johnny. Just did it again."

"Third times the charm. Let's go V, maybe grab a bite to eat. I'm hankering for a good slice of pizza right now."

You take another step back from the edge and turn to head towards the elevator, still holding on to the dog tags. Johnny leans against the wall next to the door, a softness in his eyes that you haven't noticed before. You give your arm one more tight squeeze, this time as a message to Johnny.

"Sounds like a plan. Just don't make me put that fake pineapple shit on it"

"Wouldn't dream of it, V."

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk fanfic #johnny x v #silverv #cyberpunk v #johnny silverhand #suicide tw #hurt/comfort

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ratmonky · 4 years

Text

something i post gets 3+ likes

me:

#it’s been a whole year or maybe longer since i joined tumblr but i still feel the same lmaoo #feeling like a damn celebrity #geez you better get on my level you don’t know how bein gTHIS popular means #being humble? pffft grab me my prosecco darling we’re going window shopping #ok but story time i actually popped champagne once after i posted a fic and it immediately got 5 likes lmaoo

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writing-in-april · 3 years

Text

Unwinding in the Vines

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Reader can’t get enough of cuddling Spencer.

A/N: Hey Heyyyy! Here’s my twenty-third fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April! Sorry this one is again out a little later than usual- I’ve started a new job and it was my mom’s birthday today! This ones based on this request from @lexieshuntingsstuff- it’s a user smol sweet moment between Reader and Spencer. Feel free to send me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite lol) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Vague mentions of death (of minor characters & a tree lol) & Reader is overprotective of Spencer after he had a run in with an unsub- other than that it’s just a smol fluffy moment.

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.2k

His arms were wrapped around my torso tight. They wound around to hug every dip and curve of my body, like the vines of ivy trailing up the tree he was resting his back on. Unlike the tree, who was being choked slowly to death by the vine, I thrived under his hold.

His hold on me made me feel safer than I ever had been, grounding me. Him being clingy also assured me that he was real, I could feel his skin on mine, even when his touch was dampened by our clothing. Though I craved him being closer, even more clingy than he already was being, I’d have to settle with how we were. I tried to sink into his touch even more despite it not being possible, winding my own arms up around his to create vines of my own.

I often felt unsafe, specifically at my job which was also Spencer’s. He was by my side through every investigation, through thick and thin, willing to do whatever it takes. It didn’t matter whether we were personally involved or it was the most routine case we had all year, he was always by my side. Though I often craved for him to be closer to me, to smother me with his whole body twisted around me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

I then hooked my legs around his, intertwining myself even further into him, no longer knowing where I stopped and he began. It had been too close of a call during the last case for me not to want him so close. He was the one holding me, but really I was protecting him from the man who dared pull a gun on him even though he was dead.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer spoke up pulling me out of my daydream for a moment.

I fiddled with my fingers that I had intertwined with his, assuring me that he was here, safe and here to keep me safe. He nudged my side as I started to drift off back into my thoughts to prompt me to give him an answer, “How much closer I want you,” Was the first answer that came to my mind, until the true answer came to me. I hesitated, reluctant to spill my guts even though I knew he wouldn’t be mad, “ and- how glad I am that you’re safe…”

His breath hitched, probably him thinking back to his brush with death, all because of some cocky unsub so chaotic he had been hard to predict. I wanted to apologize for bringing it up, but Spencer had already moved on from the subject, choosing to focus on the positive, “I don’t think I can’t physically be closer- unless you want our atoms fuse.”

I giggled a little along with Spencer, making our chests vibrate with one another. Twisting myse a little around for just a moment I booped the tip of his nose delicately before teasing him with my tongue stuck out just a bit, “Think you could figure that out doc?”

“Maybe- I could probably do it with an assistant.” He teased right back, with a boop on my nose too as revenge.

“Only if it’s me.”

“I’d never be able to do anything without you.” My heart swelled at the affection, just as it always did around Spencer. He always leveled attacks of affection on me, which some would find obnoxiously overbearing. I thought those people were crazy. I loved him so much, letting him go or him letting me go sounded sad. When we were unable to touch each other at work I always felt a slight pain in my chest at the thought of it. Guess that probably made me clingy as well, but Spencer loved it just as much as I did.

My mind had shifted back to thinking about the BAU, our job that caused constant turmoil within me. Ever since he had nearly been fatally wounded I couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything else for us, something safer. Looking up at the clouds floating along without a care in the sky, I envied their ability to be carefree, to be able to see where the wind takes them.

“Did you ever think this was where you’d be?” He looked up at the clouds with me, perhaps also wishing life would be just as easy and carefree.

“No.” It was true, and also not surprising. Whether his answer was about his job or about me, I knew that even not that long ago he never would have imagined being here underneath the tree with me. Though, I was still worried that he no longer wanted to be a part of the BAU, especially after the recent fiasco. I did not want him to stay only for me.

“Do you want to be here?” My meaning had a double entendres, at surface level meaning his time with the BAU which even with my anxiety over recent events, I knew realistically we were meant to be there. Suddenly I was now anxious for his answer to the other meaning, whether or not he wanted to be here tangled up with me. We had said the words I love you out loud, and even then self doubt liked to poison me.

“Yes.” His arms choked around me tighter, but I never felt more free to be me. I never felt more alive than when I was close to Spencer, thriving with him. My own arms were holding Spencer down to me, but he had told me once that I was the only reason he ever grew to be better which I happily did along with him.

My stomach rumbled, interrupting our deep conversation. It was loud enough that Spencer could hear it even with the breeze that was muffling almost everything. He moved his hand down to rub my stomach, soothing it for the time being. “Do you want to eat the rest of the food?”

Wistfully I looked over to the picnic basket that we had packed for our time to unwind. We had eaten only a small portion of it before he had pulled me back to rest on his chest. My stomach may be slightly rumbling, but I wouldn’t want to give up my hold on Spencer or have him give up his hold on me. “No, you’d have to let me go if I did.”

I felt warm, almost hot, his arms insulating all the heat inside me along with what I produced on my own. My cheeks were definitely burning, but I didn’t care, I felt safe here away from the horrors I faced everyday with him. I never wanted him to stop clinging on to me like a koala bear or like the vines around us. He brushed a finger along my cheek, which was probably hot to the touch as he then asked, “Are you sure I’m not holding you too tight?”

Nuzzling my face on the side of one of his arms, I then squeezed my palms around him three times, a silent confession of my love. Turning my head up I saw him looking down at me in adoration, not at the other beauties of nature around me. I squeezed him tight once again, trying to entangle us permanently like a vine to a tree before I told him, “No, it’s perfect.”

Ask Me Anything

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

Note

Hey Stormy!

I’m pretty sure I found you from your first post or one of your first post. It was a post talking about how Jimin was always there for JK in times of injury and actively participated in conversations surrounding JK’s wellbeing. I found you by searching up Jikook on Tumblr and I remember seeing that you were a new blog with not many posts, but I was impressed by the post I mentioned above and followed you right away. I was new to Tumblr back in April 2021 and did a whole bunch of lurking, actively searching Jikook and reading other blogs to see which ones I liked. I basically was running my own recruitment of Jikook blogs to follow lol and you were one of the lasts blogs I found by way of searching before I settled in. I pretty much read every post of yours in real-time because I have never missed a day on Tumblr since I arrived (I need a life I know haha). I feel like I’ve watched you grow on here and settle into your own way of doing things. I was here for when you first told us you wanted to start your now infamous Masterlist (I remember someone basically made a detailed one for you and sent it in as an ask), I was here when you were running out of room on your Masterlist and needed suggestions to make it longer than one page. I was here when you still used to respond to asks with other bloggers posts in them but then quickly changed to ask permission from other blogs before addressing such asks. I was here when your anons used to be on all the time then shifted to your limited time only ON approach haha (fun fact: you once forgot to turn them off when you said you were going to and I sent in an ask to remind you that they were still on!). Oh and I accidentally found you on Twitter too haha; in summer 2021 you wrote a post that went semi-viral on Jikook Twitter and I saw a random comment that credited your @ for it, and I’ve been following you there ever since too. As others have said I really like how you write and how thorough and factual-leaning your posts are (btw I’ve read most of your comments left on other blogs too). You go Glen Stormy! I’m glad I found your blog and I’ll continue to read everything you post. 💜For pretty much all the blogs I follow, I read many of their posts to get a feel for them before I committed to following them but as I mentioned above, I followed you only after one post so I guess that means you’re special haha xo 💕🫶🏽💕

Oh my gosh, is it this post??

This was another one that blew up on me unexpectedly for me. Lol and this was before I was more careful about keeping my accounts seperated. So I posted a more condensed verison on Twitter to fit the character limit and it got a lot of attention there too 🤣 So it doesn't surprise me that you found me there too! If you tell me who you are in return, maybe we can be twt moots too! If we aren't already 👀🥰

Thank you for finding me and sticking by me for so long! That's amazing!! I kind of feel like you and the others who've been here since the beginning have watched me go through the tumblr verison of your awkward teenage years. Lmao when I joined tumblr I had NO IDEA what I was doing, how anything worked, how to link anything. I would post a lot of "how do i do xyz" on tumblr. People would send in asks or DMs with tips and help. Someone sent me other blogs masterlists and how to create them. Like those of you who've been here since or before May 2021, yall are the real MVPs of this blog. 💜💜💜 and I appreciate you all so much! Thanks for always looking out for me too! Love you guys! 🥰

#how did you find stormblessed95 #stormblessed asks

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malaismere · 3 years

Text

Campaign 3 Predictions - Compiled

So, as a fan of compiling statistics, I've been keeping track of race/class predictions for campaign 3 for the past...at least a year, from tumblr, reddit, and twitter. with EXU over, and my spreadsheet hitting 400 (?!), I figured I'd share the fandom's current predictions

Travis

Human (30), Dwarf (29), Elf, Shifter (11), Half-Elf (10)

Cleric (103), Bloodhunter (63), Wizard (50), Fighter (49), Druid (46)

Lycan bloodhunter (41), Forge cleric (26), War cleric (16), Eldritch Knight fighter, Bladesinger wizard (14)

Marisha

Elf (16), Genasi, Tiefling (14), Dwarf (13), Dragonborn (11)

Paladin (112), Rogue (53), Fighter (43), Cleric (40), Warlock (37)

Eldritch Knight fighter, Glory paladin (14), Artillerist and Armorer artificer, Battlemaster Fighter (8)

Liam

Dwarf (25), Halfling (18), Tiefling (13), Elf (12), Warforged (11)

Druid (77), Cleric (72), Bard (71), Fighter (59)

Stars druid (16), Dreams druid (10), Eloquence bard (8), Alchemist artificer, Whispers bard, Twilight cleric (7)

Sam

Dwarf (34), Kobold (24), Goliath (17), Warforged (15), Kenku (13)

Sorcerer (106), Cleric (98), Druid (63), Wizard (47)

Wild Magic sorcerer (61), Wild Soul barbarian (14), Twilight cleric (8), Life and Forge cleric, Wildfire druid, Divination wizard (7)

Laura

Elf (21), Human, Tabaxi (19), Genasi (15), Gnome, Aasimar (10)

Barbarian (75), Sorcerer (74), Bard (64), Warlock (60)

Wild Soul barbarian (14), Wild Magic sorcerer (12), Glamour bard (10), Shadow monk (9)

Taliesin

Warforged (16), Elf, Changeling (14), Gnome, Genasi, Tabaxi (8)

Sorcerer (68), Rogue (65), Warlock (55), Bard (45), Wizard (43)

Aberrant Mind sorcerer (18), Whispers bard, Phantom rogue, Soulknife rogue (11), Mastermind rogue, Clockwork sorcerer (9)

Ashley

Elf (26), Human (18), Tiefling (17), Half-Elf (12), Dwarf (11)

Rogue (95), Bard (91), Monk (43), Ranger (41), Warlock (38)

Swashbuckler rogue (21), Glamour bard (13), Mercy monk (9), Drunken monk, Wild Magic sorcerer (8)

I also (although less consistently) collected continent/setting predictions. Marquet was the top (49), then Issylra (29) and the Shattered Teeth (22). For non-continent settings, some form of Spelljammer was the top (19), followed by the Age of Arcanum (17), and Planescape/Planehopping (15). Underdark, Ravenloft, Blightshore, and a return to Tal'Dorei were also suggested multiple times.

Much longer and rambly discussion (and my own predictions) under the break.

Top predicted races were Dwarf, Elf, and Human (~100). Dwarf and Elf haven't been played before, so that tracks, and I don't think it's out there to assume we'll get at least one human again. Also, post the whole thing with Essek and long rests, people really started jumping on Elves (which, fair). Warforged, Dragonborn, Tabaxi, Genasi, Tieflings, and Changelings all are pretty prominent (~50).

Of the races not yet established as existing in Exandria, Warforged and Changeling were the most popular (Warforged now dubiously canon post-Aeor, and Changelings dubiously canon with the LoVM bartender), followed by Shifters, Leonin, Kalashtar, Fairies, Grung, Ravnica races (Loxodon, Simic Hybrid, Vedalken), Van Richten's Races (Dhampir, Reborn, Hexblood). Locathah and the other Feywild/Strixhaven races are the only officially published races at 0 suggestions. The lowest previously seen race is Gobins at 2, one of which was for Sam again, and the lowest PHB race was Half-Orc at 17.

Class wise, Sorcerer was actually the most predicted class (which kind of tracks, as it's the one that hasn't shown up even as multiclass), followed by Cleric (generally assumed as compulsory), Paladin (only as a multiclass), and Rogue (also assumed as compulsory, but way less so. Not surprisingly, Bloodhunter, Ranger, and Artificer were the lowest.

Wild Magic Sorcerer was far and away the most suggested subclass, the only one to break 50, although it hasn't hit 100 quite yet (I think it will by the time the final characters are announced though). EK Fighter, Lycan Blooodhunter, Forge Cleric, Swashbuckler Rogue, Wild Soul Barbarian, Stars Druid, Glamour Bard, Bladesinger Wizard, Eloquence Bard, and Echo Knight Fighter are the other top subclasses.

Every official subclass has been suggested except for Berserker Barbarian, Grave Cleric, and Transmutation Wizard (previously played), Battlerager Barbarian and Banneret/Purple Dragon Knight (SCAG subclasses, which are widely unpopular), and the dubiously-official Planeshift subclasses. Open Seas Paladin is the only Matt homebrew to not be suggested at least once. For dead UA, Satire Bard, Brute Fighter, Giant Soul and Stone Sorcerer, and Raven Queen Warlock have all been suggested, usually only once, although many of the suggestions were collected while classes were in UA for Tasha's, Van Richten's, and Fizban's which is technically still UA but announced so...

With Travis, the predictions bounce between two main ideas - a melee spellcaster (Forge/War/Tempest cleric, Bladesinger/War wizard), or going back to a melee class (Bloodhunter, Fighter) but with a bit more mechanical interest (Lycan, EK/Echo/Rune/Battlemaster). I think those are both solid predictions, and while I really, really doubt we'll see a Lycan bloodhunter or a Forge cleric, I think the general vibe is probably spot on.

My own prediction is one of the more out there, but still in line with the general thinking - Artillerist Artificer. Travis is definitely a very tactical player, and it would be cool to see him get a turret for the battlefield, plus all the general utility/versatility of the artificer. Alternatively, I really could see a rogue, although more like what Mastermind or Inquisitive is trying for as opposed to how they actually turned out, if that makes sense.

Race wise, the top guesses are fairly plain, outside of shifter (which is mostly tied into the "werewolf" vibe). None of them would shock me, but I don't have any predictions.

I think that everyone's right on the money with Marisha as a paladin. Her next character being high charisma seems spot on, and I think moving to a half-caster also tracks. EK/Echo/Rune/Psi fighters would also fit, although they don't lean towards high charisma, or a warlock, maybe a more melee one.

Rogue seems unlikely purely due to the fact she's played one before, kind of. Matt and Marisha have both talked some, but her first game wasn't Vox Machina, but a previous game Matt had run where she'd played an assassin. You can do non-assassiny rogues, but still.

(Other fun facts about this game because it's wild: apparently the session she sat in on before playing involved half the party getting eaten by ghouls. the party joined up with another half-tpk'd party (marisha and the replacement characters) to get the raven queen to bring their dead friends back, and a fate-touched rogue swore service to the Raven Queen in order to bring the last party member back.)

My prediction for Marisha is also paladin, although I don't have any thoughts on the subclass, with genie warlock as a second because they are fun. No real thoughts on race other than I too would love to see tiefling Marisha.

Most people are going with a support caster for Liam, which I totally buy. Caleb definitely leaned towards support caster, even if he usually did end up played as DPS. Druid has taken the top given the polymorph->wildshape vibe, although it's still very yclose with Bard and Cleric. Suggestions for fighter dropped after EXU, and while Liam does play a lot of fighters, I doubt we'll see it for C3.

Honestly, Liam is the one I have no predictions for outside of 'support caster'. I'd lean away from Cleric and towards Druid or Bard, but it's hard to say. I also think Artificer deserves to be in the running, as it seems like something Liam would really enjoy, but also...might not want to go Int-caster to Int-caster. My only real thought on race is that I want to see whether Marisha and Liam choose the same again.

Top guesses for Sam is, far and away, Wild Magic Sorcerer. This was also the top guess for C2. I do not think Sam will play a Wild Magic Sorcerer. In general, though, the vibe is going back to fullcaster - Sorcerer, Cleric, Druid, Wizard. I think full caster is probably right.

Sam is so hard to predict because it isn't what he'd choose, but what Liam chose for him. I think it's either something really standard or something really out there, and since I can't guess the really out there, I'll go for the standard - Elf Wizard or Dwarf Cleric, leaning towards Dwarf Cleric, due to the support class and the fact that Sam's mentioned never playing a religious character.

The main vibe for Laura is definitely "DPS" which is understandable. I don't know if I agree with it, but I understand it. Aside from Barbarian, the rest of the vibe is spellcaster - and I don't think we'll see a completely no magic character from her either.

Prediction wise...I understand barbarian, but I'd actually go with Ancestor or Beast over Wild Soul. I could actually see a Bloodhunter from her too, although leaning away from Vex vibes. I think I'd want to go with Wizard, though I'm not certain on that. I would bet Tabaxi but idk, I could see her avoiding that for Travis' sake.

Everyone always names Taliesin as the hardest to predict (he had the lowest count at 354, under even Ashley at 365, to everyone else's ~380/400) but I don't think he's harder to predict than Sam. The thing that makes him hard to predict is that he likes to build characters to fit the party, which he (probably) won't be doing, same as with Molly. The other main thing he tends towards is mechanical complexity in a way that suits his characters.

The main driving influence in the top suggestions is Eldritch Weirdness. Aberrant Sorc, Whispers Bard, Phantom Rogue, Warlock in general. I don't disagree with any of the subclasses, but I really don't think he'd go eldritch for eldritch sake, if for at the very least being...he has always been this weird and it's yet to be a driving force behind any of his characters before. Like the Taliesin-is-an-elder-god thing, I think this is mostly people who don't hang out around occultists. Look, I've had multiple people sell me their actual souls, and you don't see all my characters being warlocks.

That being said, I don't think I disagree with the top classes, just the subclasses. I definitely agree with Sorcerer as a good choice for him, although I'd actually go Clockwork, as I think it has a fuck-with-the-DM vibe. Taliesin is the most heavily suggested for dunamancy subclasses, which wouldn't surprise me, but I think he might avoid on the sole point of not wanting something too tied with the last campaign. A lot of people also name the psionic subclasses, which I'd be more likely to second if they had kept the weird mechanic from the UA, but don't disagree with, excepting my issue with Aberrant Mind.

My out there guess is that he's going to choose a multiclass build. He definitely enjoys playing around with weird builds (Owlbear, he did a non-CR oneshot as a monk/stars druid). On the one hand, a lot of these builds work best for oneshots or starting at higher levels, as they can take a bit of time to come online, but with such a large party, I think it will still function.

(my actual prediction for Taliesin is that his character is weirdly reminiscent of either the aasimar echo knight or the elf blood cleric from the exandria game I'm running.)

Ashley is being predicted as a Dex/Cha build, and I'm totally here for it. Pre-Fearne, I was leaning Ranger, especially Fey Wanderer for a fey build, but post-Fearne, I'm going Rogue, especially Swashbuckler. I agree that seeing a high Cha Ashley would be great, especially to let her be more center-focused than Yasha had been, and swashbucklers are just...really fun. Also, the whole Aeor arc really left me wanting to see Ashley as the go-ahead-and-scout character, just to watch her push buttons.

For continents...I understand why people are guessing Marquet, since it's currently the most explored. I think that if they're going to do Marquet, then Matt will sit down with a cultural consultant. I say will over should, because I won't make any value judgements, but I think it's in line with what Matt and CR would do in that situation.

I can't really tell whether this is a prediction or what I'd like to see (the two are distinct but often difficult to untangle) but I'd actually go with Issylra, and specifically playing up the (at least initial) set up of explorers and adventurers heading out into the wilds. I will also place my bets on them having some sort of more steady home base, and my hopes on that they get an airship. My wildest out there guess is that the plot will move towards either planescape/spelljammer in the upper levels, tying into some of the seeds from the end of C2.

I have seen a handful of people predicting table seating order, which is both very minor and also the thing that I may be most interested in. A while back, someone made a post pointing out that the main romantic relationships were all cross-table, while the strongest platonic relationships were same-table or side by side. Because I am the sort of person that I am, I did statistical analysis on ao3 fics....and it's statistically significant. So I am trying to see whether or not, based purely on C3E1, I'll be able to predict what the top ships for the campaign will be.

This rambling has mostly gotten out of hand because I don't have much opportunity to talk about this, but, you know. If you send me predictions I will give you the current odds gambling style, so that you'd know how much you'd win if you'd place a bet, because I did the tables up as a joke for something else and now I kind of want them to be used for something.

#critical role #critical role campaign 3 #cr campaign 3 #critical role predictions #critcal role meta #cr meta #cr stats

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not-poignant · 2 years

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21, 24, 26, 35, and 37, if you'd like! 😁

21 something you’ve kept since childhood?

I don't think anything lasted from my childhood, anon. I used to collect a lot of secondhand books but my mum threw them all out one day. All of my toys have been thrown out. Maybe some of the Garfield comics I bought secondhand as a teen, I still think I have some of those. There's nothing I deliberately kept. Objects were transitive and we didn't have that many in the first place, we were living under the poverty line for some time, and my mother is a big believing in getting rid of stuff that you no longer need when you live in a caravan or a tiny house (so am I now that I live in a cottage, it's a relatable vibe actually.)

This is kind of a melancholic question, tbh. I know some people keep blankets and toys or keepsakes. I think I would have kept my animal encyclopedias. Maybe I still have one? *thinks* I think I still have one of those! *checks* I STILL HAVE AN ANIMAL ENCYCLOPEDIA. I saved it from my mum's 'I'm gonna throw that shit out' clutches aslfdkjasfdsa HUZZAH.

(She threw out my first novel too daskljfdaslkfsa like, the first one I actually wrote).

24 if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

Very quickly getting off it while I wail 'Why did you convince me to do this!? I hate it!!!' because I'm afraid of heights actually. Never in my life will anyone get me on a rooftop. I can't even go to the top of the DNA tower in Kings Park. I don't even like being at the top of steep stairs looking down.

In fact, one of the reasons I had to stop competitive swimming was that I hated diving from the slightly raised platform into the lap pool. Like, we're not talking a diving board, just that slightly raised platform into the lap pool. I could do it, but I fucking hated it. (I quit competitive swimming for a few different reasons tbh but that was definitely a factor!)

26 a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

All the things that caused my PTSD/CPTSD man, those flashbacks aren't kind.

In terms of voluntarily recalling? *thinks* Usually stuff I feel guilty about or that I fucked up on, whether it's how I communicated to someone, how I didn't communicate to someone, or mostly around social interactions where I can easily be like 'oh wow you were barely human that day huh?'

If I'm stressed out and feel the need to get out of the house but can't because of illness or sickness, I often remember being on wintry beaches. And one of my favourite 'I can't sleep' visualisations is to put on an ocean wave generator and imagine I'm on a little snuggly nest-bed on the seashore, with sea grasses waving nearby, and seagulls crying as they fly around, and a gentle breeze washing over me, and I can hear the waves but I know they won't hurt me and then - hey presto - I'm asleep.

That's probably the nicest scenario I've replayed multiple times. :D

35 what’s your timezone?

GMT+8 with no DLS

37 someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

I'm a Tumblr old so this one is actually easy. My roommate I've known for nearly 20 years. Most of my friends I've known for over 10 years. I mean hell my Facebook account is over 10 years old so everyone on there who knew me from the beginning... A lot of friends from Livejournal who ported over to Dreamwidth I've known for well over 10 years. Most of the non-family people in my life I've known for over 10 years, and some for over 20.

Like, I started my AO3 account nearly 10 years ago and there's still some really early 2013 readers so in like 1-2 years I can say a whole bunch more people, lol.

I am pretty ride or die for my friends. It takes me a long time to open up to individuals, but once I do, I'm pretty much in it for life. There are friends I have who I met on Livejournal when they were doing their undergrads, and then their prac, who have now been practicing therapists or psychiatrists for years, and I've seen them go into private practice, or join different clinics, some of them have had children, some have gotten married, divorced, some have transitioned, and in only a few years I'll have known many of those people for 2 decades.

This question is a lot easier to answer when you're old and have never left/moved from the place you were born! I think it's harder if you're like... 15.

From this meme!

#asks and answers #memey goodness #personal #if y'all ever want to ask follow up questions feel free #i generally will talk about most things #except my personal preferences in kink tbh #which only matters to me and my partner/s #and sometimes relevant friends in the community lol #it's actually really cool to realise #how many people i've known and loved for over 10 years #hell even my beta reader and i are going to have been friends for nearly 10 years soon!

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kirain · 4 years

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What's with that post? Dutch LOVES Hosea. They're literally gay. They held hands and raised two sons together. They're so extremely gay, respect it!

Two men: Showing affection

Tumblr: They're fucking!

...In all seriousness, I have absolutely no idea what I said or did to warrant this message, but I can only assume it's because I said in another post that Dutch doesn't respect Hosea? Which he doesn't?

They're supposed to be partners, but he certainly doesn't treat him like one. He doesn't listen to him, he yells at him when he's coughing or in pain, and he makes him sleep on the cold, hard, dirty ground. He even openly ignores him in Colter, in front of the other men, and rides off when he tries to stop him from robbing Cornwall's train. I'm not saying they don't have a rich history or good moments, but it's a toxic relationship at best. Not exactly something worth praising.

If you don't believe me, you can find unique dialogues as the game progresses, verifying he’s lost all faith in Dutch. To the point that he even starts telling other members to leave. Abigail, John, Arthur, Lenny, Tilly, Sadie -- he tells all of them to leave. During a dominoes game we played together he even said, "Maybe it's just me, but Dutch seems to be getting more and more unhinged." And as early as chapter one he told Arthur, "Try to stop Dutch getting all of you killed, because I'm about beginning to think he's finally lost his mind."

youtube

There are also other conversations where Hosea’s disappointment with Dutch is far more blatant. He basically tells Arthur he’s been disillusioned for a while and wishes the gang would change, but when Arthur asks what they’d do instead of thieving, Hosea says, “I don’t know. I never knew. Guess I could never figure that out, neither.” By this point he’s just so dejected and defeatist because he knows Dutch won’t listen to him. He also goes on a whole tirade about how they’ve become “nothing but a bunch of killers”, which breaks his heart, and during a random campfire encounter he bares his soul and flat out tells the gang he no longer believes in Dutch’s “we’re above the law” philosophy.

As for the whole "they're gay" thing? Ship whoever you want. I don't care (they're fictional characters, after all). But don't come onto my blog and demand that I "respect it", because I don't. In fact, I vehemently disagree with you.

First off, Hosea was very happily married and totally devoted to his wife Bessie. So much so that after she died, he was drunk and depressed for a year. He even tried to leave the gang once he married her, but he inevitably drifted back into the life of an outlaw when he failed to find adequate work. Keep that in mind, though -- he left the van der Linde gang. He left Dutch. During the hunting mission, Arthur even says, "I remember you were gone for a long while." But according to Hosea, Bessie supported and accepted his lifestyle, since at the time they were more of a community than a “gang”. They actually helped people, like a Robin Hood band of merry men.

Hosea talking about his wife:

"Since she was ... taken from me, I miss her every day. She's what I think about when I wake up, and what I'm still thinking about when I go to sleep. Confuses me. Confuses me to no end, how a wretched sinner like me could be given someone so perfect, so beautiful to take care of. For once in my wretched life, do my best. And then she dies ... and I live on. Well, at least for now. She’s been gone many years. All them years I was given and she was not, and we’re expected to believe in judgement? What kind of a judge would save me and take her? A foolish one I can’t respect anymore than I can respect myself! I miss her so--!” He pauses, nearly crying. “Forgive me for being so maudlin, but ... it’s a fact. I know we all of us seen more death than life these past few months, but ... well, sometimes the unfairness of it all confuses me.”

In addition, when asked who the two most important people in his life are, he mentions Bessie first, before Dutch. Arguably he's known Dutch longer and he’s still alive and active in his life, but Bessie always comes first. He also says he’s “ready to die” because he’s “ready to join her”.

Please don't disregard this. Hosea is an honest, loyal, loving husband. If it was just a matter of you insisting he's gay, I'd probably have less of a problem (because, sure, that can change for some people and maybe he's bi now), but pairing him with Dutch, when he's so wholly devoted to his wife, is just reprehensible in my opinion. Dutch isn’t a good man and he treats Hosea quite poorly.

Secondly, yes, you're partially right. Hosea did raise two kids with Dutch. Actually, he raised four. Arthur, John, Tilly, and Mary-Beth. They were all young teens when they joined, but Dutch and Hosea weren't the only "parents". Grimshaw and Bessie also helped raised them. Arthur even says Bessie taught him how to play dominoes and mentions that he misses her. So I don't really understand the correlation here. You don't have to be in a sexual/romantic relationship to raise kids. And keep in mind that the story takes place during a time when entire communities worked together to raise children. Ever heard the expression "it takes a village to raise a child"?

Overall, I'm simply not comfortable overlooking Hosea's marriage and Dutch's abuse. To put it into perspective, it'd be like writing a fic where Molly and Dutch are in a happy, healthy relationship, despite all the evidence to the contrary. I'm just not the type of person who's willing to change a character's entire personality and history in order to make them fit my personal narrative.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption #2 #hosea matthews #dutch van der linde #arthur morgan #john marston #lenny summers #mary beth #susan grimshaw #bessie matthews #tilly #rockstar #van der linde gang #anon

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ganondoodle · 4 years

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yr brain? galaxy level. i wanna hear all ur lore and stuff

you know what ? im gonna write the basic plot for soogas backstory here now too-

- his parents were both sheikah soldiers serving the royal family, they were nearly never home so he barely even knew them and was pretty much living on his own from a young age on

- they both died while on a mission far away, but that didnt change much for him other than him having to find a way to earn money himself now

- when he was a teenager he was recruited by the royal family (he wanted to tho) which is also where he met Hibiki (my only real zelda Oc .. sorry gotta involve them now- this is how they look, although they are older here than when sooga first met them

i think i forgot to post this on tumblr lmao; anyway they are an artist and a bit older than sooga)

- since they were both outcasts with no relatives that cared about them they quickly became friends (tho it was def more one sided at first bc Hibiki is a way more extroverted ) tho Hibiki has been a bit longer in the army so they rarely went on missions together and only hung out during breaks or when they had both time off

- even after years of training they both stayed in the lower ranks of the army and never managed to climb to a higher one, part of the reason was that Hibiki didnt do a good job of being a spy, not bc they were detected, they just never had much information to report for some reason and Sooga always defended them when they got bullied by higher ups for it (you know how he threatens ppl) which in turn made him less liked and got him almost kicked out once (and yes, Hibiki did have a crush on Sooga but he never realized that even tho they made it REALLY obvious)

- you know the story how link got appointed as zeldas bodyguard ? with him deflecting a laser from a malfunctioning guardian to protect the princess ? yeah, so in my hc, while he did deflect it it didnt straight up hit the guardian back but rather was simply redirected and although Hibiki tried to pull Sooga away it still hit the left side of his face which is how he got that big af scar and lost his eye

- he survived and of course Hibiki was there to take care of him whenever they could, but the more time went on while he recovered it was made clear that the higher ups wanted to kick him out of the army after his wound healed bc they didnt think he was fit to fight anymore missing an eye (thats what they said but it was pretty obvious they just wanted a reason to get rid of him)

- Hibiki reassured Sooga they would do everything they could to convince them otherwise bc they knew that all he ever wanted to do is be a strong and respected soldier serving the royal family, but who would listen to the worst spy in the whole army .. he got kicked out anyway of course and was forced to work as a farmer (more like help other farmers really)

- from then on Hibiki was trying to be a better spy, so they could earn enough respect to maybe get the army to welcome Sooga back into their ranks

- but one day when Sooga returned from some field work he noticed a new grave at the corner of the village, and asked who died, it took some time for him to find out it was Hibiki who fell in battle bc after they left the village they never returned so the other villagers forgot even their name, the army brought their body back into the village since they were borne there and didnt have any living relatives

- that was what pushed his resentment for the kingdom and the other sheikah over the edge really, he stole some ancient hidden away sheikah scrolls from the elder of the village and used them to teach himself some techniques ... or at least TRIED to, the only one he was able to manage was a half functional clone, which he used to fake his death and live a live in the shadows, staying away from settlements out of fear of beign recognized

- he made his way into the gerudo desert where he never went to before, and in a cold night snuk undetected into the yiga hideout in the search for shelter since he wasnt equipped for that kind o extreme weather .. tho he didnt realize what he just did

- in the morning he was found after all and, understandably, attacked bc wth how did that guy even get in here ?? after he managed to survive for pretty long given the circumstances, he tried to flee but was stopped by master kohga himself, and while kohga was monologing about .. stuff, Sooga realized this might be his chance to live a proper life again and that pretty close to what he always wanted, so he promptly asks to join them

- positively surprised kohga of course cant just accept him into the clan like that, i mean Sooga was wearing sheikah clothing and got UNDETECTED into their hideout and took a nap there for several hours before being found, thats suspicious as hell

- after being put through several tests and challanges he is accepted into the clan after all-

- now fast forward post calamity (just a few years tho) the topic of Soogas origins comes up and he tells kohga alot but is interrupted bc koh ask him if the friend he was talking about was “a kinda weird artist” ... turns out Hibiki died in a clash with the yiga clan and ... was killed by kohga himself.

- Hibiki always carried a sketchbook in a bag around with them, and the clan took it after their death bc they thought it might contain useful info, it didnt, but since the sketches in it where pretty good they kept it anyway even if it was only half readable since it got soaked in blood

- that is a reveal that tested soogas loyalty to the clan like nothing else could (everyone in the clan including kohga, was expecting him to turn against them again, but were still waiting for him to actually betray the clan)

- sooga didnt turn on them tho, reason was, he managed to seperate the pages of the sketchbook that were stuck together from blood and discovered finely detailed art of the hideout, of its interior too and even of kohga as well

- Hibiki never had much info to tell their superiors bc they snuk around the hideout when on a mission but never with the goal to rat the clan out. they secretly admired kohga and the clan, even wanted to join them for a long time, but never got to do it bc they didnt want to leave Sooga behind but also .. they were afraid to tell him bc he was so focused on becoming a good sheikah soldier they were sure he wouldnt feel the same; they were torn between wanting to join the yiga but afraid of destroying their friendship with sooga ..

when they got into that fatal fight with the clan, kohga didnt even attack them with the intend to kill and they could have easily dodged or parried the hit, the reason they didnt was, ironically, bc they were so stunned by admiration of seeing their idol right in front of them they didnt move a muscle until it was too late...

this got longer than i thought, maybe i went into too much detail here, but anyway this is a summary of the backstory i came up with for Sooga, it doesnt end here tho, this is more like the story of how sooga became part of the yiga; after all of this comes alot more tho it wouldnt make much sense to add that here too xD

sorry for the long af post, i hope its somewhat understandable ;__;

#ganondoodles answers #headcannons #zelda #botw #sooga #long post #and thank you #;__;#i know i answer way too few asks here #but be sure i always read and appreciate them #<3

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sin-of-sloth-my-ass · 4 years

Text

The Fallen Fairy Pt. 1

A/N: I noticed how inactive the Tumblr side of this fandom is 🤔 If you have any request don't hesitate to ask!

Previous ~ Next

warnings: spoilers

genre: neutral? Bit of Angst?

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"What ya looking at?" Your curious eyes peeked over King's shoulder as you followed his gaze that was directed at Diane and Howzer.

King let out a scream by your sudden appearance behind me, making everyone turn to look at you two curiously, but he waved it off "don't scare me like that, (Y/N)"

"It's been a while since I've been able to scare you, hasn't it" you smiled mischievously, but your words held a lot more meaning than just playfulness. The guilt of that ominous day is something the Fairy King will have to bear to his grave. Your once golden like wings were gone never to be seen again. It was a time never to be spoken of as it was a dreadful day to the both of you.

"Say, my king, you sure you're the sin of sloth? You act more like the sin of envy in my eyes" you mused as you lean your chin in your hands, all while a playful smile was playing on your lips.

Kings scoffed "I told you not to call me that any more. I'm not fit to be a king."

"And I'm not fit to be a fairy any more, but here we are" you replied nonchalantly as you turned in your seat to watch Meliodas and Ban intoxicating themselves with the golden liquid humans couldn't resist.

"What about you? I've seen you staring at Ban a couple of times" He asked as he was the one following your gaze this time.

Unbeknownst to King, it wasn't Ban you had been staring at, but the man opposite of him that held so much resemblance to your past lover. It almost felt like a cruel joke "it's not that deep, besides he's still not over Elaine, so I don't think I have that much of a chance."

"Oi, Tinkerbell" Meliodas called, snapping you out of your haze. Due to your bewildered eyes, a smirk grew on his face as you reminded him of a kid that got caught doing something it shouldn't do.

"What do you want devil's child" you shot back, regaining composure and copying the same smug look he had.

"(Y/N)" King gasped at your response "he's the captain! Don't go around and throw names out like that"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. It's all a joke, right Meliodas?" you defended yourself, but the mischievous look in your eyes didn't go unnoticed by the said boy.

"It's alright King. I know she's just joking" he reassured him. "Anyway, I think the customers could use another round"

"Go ask Elizabeth" you waved him off.

"She's at the capitol" he replied. You grith your teeth "what about Gowther?"

"He went with Merlin somewhere" he informed, amused by your growing irritation "you know our deal. When those two aren't around, you're the one serving the customers"

"Fine" you breathed as you head up from your seat and went behind the bar to give everyone their respective drinks.

"Thank you! What about the uniform, though?" He teased to which you rolled your eyes "don't push it"

To your luck, Elizabeth soon enough arrived, letting you escape the tedious deal you made with the captain of the Seven Deadly Sins.

"Diane!! Let's go train!"

You ran outside the boarhead before Meliodas could come up with a way to rope you into working longer.

You did your best to keep up with Diane's long strolls, cursing in your mind how easier it would've been if you still had your wings.

Once you were deep in the forest and excluded enough from any living creature, you took your fighting stance.

"You know you could always ask Merlin to take a look at your wings. Maybe she finds a way to fix them" Diane said as you did your best to dodge her Golems.

"Mhm, I know. I don't want too, though. It's a reminder to myself of how I failed my kind and how I should work every day to become stronger." You explained as you slashed one of the stone creations with your katana, making it crumble to the floor. You quickly dodged as the other was already coming at you with its fist.

Diane frowned at your answer "you know it wasn't your fault, right?"

"They trusted me. I was their number one defence line and I failed them. I was the royal guard. The one that should protect the Fairy King. How can I possibly be fit for that role when I couldn't even protect my friends? It should've been only me that got killed that day, not them." You mumbled the last part. Diane's creations collapsed as you kicked it with all your force against a tree. You took in the giants emotional state and knew continuing to train was not an option. "Let's go back, shall we?"

By the time you got back, the night had fallen over Britannia. The boardhead was filled with intoxicated people passed out all over the place.

You head up to the roof to look out on the capital that had a few lights brimming in the otherwise dark city.

"I see you made Diane upset," Meliodas said as he joined you and handed you a bottle of ale which you gratefully accepted.

"She asked me why I didn't go to Merlin to see if she could get my wings back" you replied as you took a swig of the toxic liquid.

"You shouldn't blame yourself," he said.

"It's the second time I let my people down" you sighed "if death is not the answer, I guess this is the second-best thing"

"How do you feel about the seal?" He asked as he observed your reaction quietly.

You pressed your lips together as you let his questions sink in "I know it's bad news but at the same time... I haven't seen him in 3000 years"

"I know" he sighed, understanding your conflicted feelings "I hope you understand where I'm coming when I say I'm gonna do everything in my power to prevent them from breaking loose"

"Yeah... I know" you hugged your knees while placing your chin on them "when are you gonna tell them"

"When the time is right" he answered truthfully "what about you? King doesn't know how old you really are, does he?"

"He never asked" you shrugged.

"Would you tell him?" "I don't see why I wouldn't"

"Would you also tell King about him?" You stayed silent at that question, unsure whether it would benefit anyone if you were to tell him. "It's getting late, don't stay up too late."

With that Meliodas left, soon to return as you always had a chat in the midst of the night, while everyone is sound asleep around you

The upcoming sun awoke you from your place on the roof of the boarhead. You lazily sat up and admired the rose gold basked city that was slowly waking up as well.

"Hey Ban, planning on sneaking out without telling anyone?" You heard your king's voice, snapping you out of your dreamy haze.

You observed the two for a little until Ban said something that caught you off guard "I'm going back to the Fairy King's Forest"

It was hard to see their faces from up to where you were seated, but you knew King held a shocked face, mimicking yours.

Your eyes trailed them until you could no longer see them, making you swallow hard as you realized the Fairy King didn't even bother to get you "hypocrite"

You hopped off the roof and went back inside the bar, starting to clean up the mess everyone made the night before.

"Are you sick?" Meliodas asked when he walked downstairs to see who was making all that noise.

"King and Ban left to go to the Fairy King's Forest" you said, not sparing him a second glance.

"How come you didn't go? I thought you went everywhere King went" he asked as he helped you grab a couple of empty bottles.

"He clearly didn't want me there, after all, he left without saying anything." You mumbled "Diane's gonna be heartbroken"

"(Y/N)" Meliodas narrowed his eyes at you. For all those decennia he has known you, he knew something had to be terribly wrong for you not be by the Fairy King's side "I'm no longer a fairy, now am I? Fairies have wings, I don't"

"Neither has King" the captain of the seven deadly sins pointed out.

"He can still grow them. Mine are gone forever" you shot back. "Besides I'm very certain the forest wouldn't give me a third chance. It would be gut-wrenching knowing I could never return there"

"So you rather bask in the unknown?" You silently continuing to clean the used glasses was a sign for him to drop the subject "welp, it can't be helped. Guess you'll be the substitute for King"

"I could never replace my king" you shook your head.

"Your loyalty after all these hundreds of years still ceases to amaze me" he chuckled, making you smile a little as well.

You decided to stay back at the boarhead while the others went to the capital for the ceremony. It was a quiet day as you presumed most of the people of Britannia were at the ceremony to praise the Seven Deadly Sins.

You headed up to your usual spot on top of the boarhead and stared off in the distance and wondered when everything had become such a mess.

It crossed your mind that if Gloxinia was still here he'd probably be ashamed of how weak you've become. He'd probably turn his head at how you let the humans cut off your wings. After all, he warned you more times than you could count that humans should not be trusted. Yet here you were handing them alcohol in return for some golden coins. He'd be rolling in his grave if he'd caught wind of what you were doing right now.

A sudden tremor shook you literally out of your thought process and that's when you felt him. There was no mistake. Even after 3000 years, it still felt so familiar to you.

It didn't take long before Meliodas appeared back at the boarhead. "You felt it too, didn't you"

"Yes," you replied as looked at the Captain of the Seven Deadly Sins. His head hung low while an unease aura clouded his whole body "they're here"

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candy-and-writing · 4 years

Text

Mr. Brightside

Request by @mmmmm-11: Can I request a Cap fic in which he's pretty cold to the reader because he really doesn't know how to process his feelings and there is some jealously their in feeling both sides and then the smut 😅🤩

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex, oral sex, fingering, jealous! Steve, Steve is low-key a dick

A/n: so this took way longer than I meant it to and it's also a lot longer than anticipated. Thank you so much for requesting this!! I had so much fun writing this piece

I am NOT responsible for your media content consumption. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and/or dark themes. By reading this work you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work posted on any third party app or website; if you are seeing this work anywhere other than tumblr and archiveofourown, it has been reposted without my permission.

Steve was silent as you sat in the back of the quinjet, your forehead bloody and uniform pulled down to your torso as Bruce tended to the bullet hole gaping in your shoulder. His shoulders were tense, his features drawn into a scowl as he glared at you, stewing in his own anger.

You knew you fucked up, if the blood seeping out of your shoulder and the burning building you barely escaped was any confirmation. Steve huffed, his hands slamming down on the table placed in the middle of the jet.

You had grown used to this—the sudden flip of his mood with you. Ever since you first joined, he was cold and angry with you. It didn't matter if all you did was try to make him happy, there was always something you did that made him annoyed with you. You had learned long ago how to hold yourself up against the angry super-soldier.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Steve suddenly shouted at you, his loud tone sending a dull throb through your temples. "I gave you an order, you could've blown the mission!"

"I was going after Strucker," you groaned, wincing as Bruce pressed a rag against your wound. "I didn't see the detonator. I'm sorry."

"'Sorry' isn't gonna cut it, Y/n. You compromised the mission. You're lucky I cut him off or else you'd in a lot more trouble."

"I get it, Cap, I do, but can we talk about this later. . . when I'm not bleeding out?" Your vision was blurring and your body was feeling alarmingly numb.

"No, we're gonna talk about this now."

"Steve," Bruce cut in, "I think Y/n is right. Maybe we can talk about this when she feels better?"

Steve's jaw clenched. He was quiet for a moment, and you were worried he was going to explode on you again. He looked over his shoulder, where the rest of the team was watching, and sighed. "Fine."

You let out a breath as he walked to the front of the jet. You leaned back, resting your head on the wall as you closed your eyes.

You left Bruce's lab an hour after you landed, your bullet wound all but healed and given painkillers for your concussion. You were still a little dizzy as you wobbled back to your room when you ran into Steve. He was wearing a slim workout shirt that looked two sizes too small and dark sweatpants, probably heading to the gym. You straightened your shoulders, bracing yourself. He looked you over, scowling before he pushed past you.

You stood there for a moment, shocked he hadn't started screaming at you the second he saw you. You blinked, jogging after him. "Steve, wait!"

He stopped, looking down at you as you stood in front of him. You let out a breath, your world spinning.

"I'm sorry," you said. "I should've listened to you. I should've waited for backup and I didn't and it almost cost us Strucker. I'm sorry."

Steve didn't say anything. He looked at you, irritation gnawing at his features. He mumbled out a small, "It's fine," before turning away.

You bit the inside of your cheek to distract you from the pang in your chest. You should be used to it by now—his aloofness. That didn't mean it still didn't sting, though.

You had no idea what you did to make Captain America hate you. Hell, you didn't think he had the capability to hate anyone. When you first joined the team, scared and defensive, you were just there to follow orders—because Fury had not-so-subtly given you an ultimatum that threatened your life. You were good at what you did, you were good at following orders. You stood in the background and did what people told you to do. Being a HYDRA pawn will do that to you.

But then people opened up to you. Bucky was the first one—being the former Winter Soldier, he knew what it was like to have your life taken away by HYDRA. And for some reason, he trusted you, even if you hadn't spoken a word to him. Natasha and Clint were next, then Tony, and soon the whole team treated you like you were apart of their family. But Steve didn't. You'd been with the team for months, and you were no closer to him than you were to that automatic corkscrew in the kitchen that you could never get to work.

You showered, changed, and sat on your bed for exactly twenty seconds before you realized you were done. If Steve wasn't going to tell you what his problem was, maybe someone else could.

You walked into the lounge area, finding Bucky and Sam squabbling over the remote.

"C'mon, man," Sam argued. "I got a recorded episode of the Voice that is callin' my name!"

"Watch it in your room, Wilson. The Great British Baking Show is on and I'm already watching it."

You smirked to yourself, moving to stand in front of them until one of them finally noticed you. It was your best tactic with the two of them, waiting patiently until they were done with. . . whatever they were doing. You rested your hands at your sides, eyebrow quirking when Sam called Bucky's hair 'greasy', which highly offended Bucky.

Bucky had just pulled the remote out of Sam's hands when he finally saw you. "Oh, hey, doll. How long ya' been standing there?"

You shrugged. "Not important. . . can I talk to you?"

Bucky kicked Sam out of the lounge area, who dragged himself out of the room mumbling to himself about his show. You sat down beside Bucky, crossing your legs and folding your hands in your lap.

"So," Bucky ran a hand through his hair, " what did you want to talk about?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek for a moment, looking down at your hands as you asked the question that had been haunting you since you arrived at the Compound. "Why does Steve hate me?"

Bucky blinked, then started chuckling. You frowned.

"What?"

"You think—" he paused, sucking in a breath. "Well, I don't blame you. He hasn't exactly been kind to you, has he?"

You scoffed. "No, he hasn't. Did I do something? Is. . . is it because of what I used to do—you know—before this?"

"No, doll, it's not that. Trust me."

You weren't convinced. "Are you sure? Because—"

"Trust me, Y/n, I'm sure." Bucky smiled at you. A teasing smile, like he knew something you didn't.

"Well, can you tell me what's going on, then?" you sighed. "Because I'm getting a little tired of the cold shoulder."

Bucky pursed his lips, his eyes squinting slightly like he was thinking. You stared at him, waiting for his answer.

"You know the party Tony's throwing tomorrow?" Bucky said suddenly.

You frowned, not seeing what that had to do with the conversation. "Yeah. . . ?"

"All you have to do is show up. And wear something cute."

You raised an eyebrow, a smile breaking your lips amidst your confusion. "Don't I always, Soldat?"

You had managed to avoid Steve's austere glare until the party. You knew he would be there for professional appearances, being Captain America and all.

You had shuffled the dress up your body—the silky black fabric tickling your thigh. You stood in front of your mirror, back facing the glass as you struggled to turn your head at the right angle and tie the criss-cross strings racing down your back. This dress had been Natasha's, but had grown too small for her, so she gave it to you. She and Wanda did that with many of their clothes, seeing as how when you showed up at the Compound you had half a duffel bag of clothes to your name—all of which you'd stolen from different shops.

You had opted to leave your hair down, letting your locks fall past your shoulders in loose curls. You did your makeup in record time, finishing the look off with a red velvet lipstick.

Dragging your hair over one shoulder, you clipped the pearl choker necklace Tony had given you for Christmas around your neck, letting it rest on your collar. You weren't expecting anything from anyone for Christmas—you'd never even celebrated Christmas before coming onto the team. Tony's gifts were personal, whether they be deep and meaningful or jokingly hilarious. As he handed you a long, thin box, he had apologized—you were so quiet and reclusive he wasn't sure what you wanted, so he bought you this necklace. That was the first time you hugged Tony.

Slipping on a pair of sleek black heels, you looked yourself over in the mirror once more before leaving your room. You could hear the commotion of the party from your area of the living quarters, music echoing off the walls and people dressed in button-down shirts and fancy dresses.

As you stepped down the stairs, your eyes fell on Bucky, who was playing pool with Steve and Sam. Steve was smiling, laughing at something Sam had said as he sunk the ball into the corner pocket. You smiled to yourself, ignoring the pang of jealousy you felt in your chest. Why couldn't he smile like that at you?

Bucky had noticed you descending the stairs, perking up. He said something to Steve, walking off towards you. Steve frowned, his gaze following Bucky's path when his eyes landed on you. His shoulders stiffened and he shifted on his feet as looked back at Sam. You met Bucky in the middle of the room, giving him a small smile.

"Damn, doll," Bucky smirked. "You look good." You chuckled, cheeks heating up.

"Well," you looked down at your dress, "you said to wear something cute. What exactly do you have planned?"

"You'll see." He laughed at the scowl you gave him. He grabbed two cocktails from a wandering server, handing one to you. "Here—have a drink and come join us."

"Oh, no, I shouldn't. Steve looks like he's enjoying himself and. . . I'd hate to ruin his good mood." Your gaze turned sad without you even realized. Bucky wanted to smack Steve upside the head all over again—he was hurting you, alienating you and all you were trying to do was be a part of the team.

"You won't, trust me. Please? Sam keeps bragging about being the best pool player of his squadron and I'm having a hard time not punching him in his big mouth. It'd be nice to have someone around who isn't on their high-horse."

You giggled, struggling to take a sip of your drink. "Fine, but he starts chastising me, I'm out."

You followed Bucky back to the pool table, Steve glaring daggers at you and Bucky as the soldier picked up his cue stick.

You weren't sure how long you watched the boys play pool, but four drinks later you were tipsy and almost oblivious to Steve's lingering stare. Bucky knocked the eight ball into a corner pocket, yelling out a shout of victory as he won the game. Sam rolled his eyes.

Someone stood beside you and cleared their throat, prompting you to turn your head. Thor stood next to you, his hair pulled away from his face and donning a long red coat and dark wash jeans.

"Lady Y/n." He smiled at you, holding his hand out as you blushed. You always blushed when he called you that. "Would you care for a dance?"

"Uh—" You looked over at Bucky, who was smirking. He tilted his head, motioning for you to go. Your eyes wandered up at Steve, who looked like he was about ready to throttle Thor. He really did hate the idea of his team socializing with you. Smiling to yourself, you looked back at Thor. "Actually, I'd love to."

You walked off with Thor, stopping just before you left their line of sight. It was petty, what you were doing—using Thor to deliberately piss off your Captain. But he didn't leave you much of a choice. Thor rested his hand on your waist, his large fingers brushing against your bare back. You shivered, putting your hand on his shoulder. He held your other hand as you two swayed to the music.

"You look lovely tonight, Y/n," Thor said, looking down at you through his eyelashes. You thought your cheeks were warm from the alcohol, but after that comment, your face was burning. You were sure your cheeks were a bright red.

"Th-thank you," you stuttered. You cleared your throat. "You. . . uh—you look nice, too. I like your jacket."

Thor chuckled. "You do not have to be so nervous, Y/n. It is only a dance."

"Yeah, well, I've never really danced before. . . like actually danced. I've danced for missions before, but things never really ended well for my partner."

"Well, I do hope things end better for me."

You giggled. "Well, I haven't been hired to kill you, so I think you're good." You nervously laughed at your joke, hoping it wasn't as awkward as you thought it was.

You danced with Thor until he invited to get a drink with him. You sat at the bar, nursing a cocktail Natasha made for you while Thor was telling you about the time he battled a pack of trolls in the mountains of Svartalfheim.

When the party was over, you were still talking to Thor. You thanked him for dancing with you, making sure to tell Bucky goodnight. You walked up the staircase, heading toward your room when you stopped. Steve stood in front of your door, arms crossed and frowning.

"Steve?" He turned his head, meeting your confused gaze. "Can I. . . can I help you with something?"

"We need to talk," he said curtly.

"O-Okay." You were overtly aware of the click of your heels as you opened your door for him, letting him enter your room. You carefully let the door slide closed behind you, staring at Steve. "Do you want anything to drink? I can get you a glass of water? Or I think I still have some beer Bucky left in the fridge?"

That had been the wrong thing to say. You watched his eyes darken, lips curling into a snarl as he shoved you up against your wall. His grip on your biceps was borderline painful, his nose inches from yours and you could feel his hot breath fanning your face.

"Don't talk about Bucky. Not now."

You swallowed thickly, Steve watching the line of your throat. "Okay, I won't. I'm sorry."

You fell silent, stuck staring at Steve's features. The barely-there green in his eyes, the crease of his eyebrows, the lines of his frown, his lips. You didn't realize he was doing the same to you until his breathing calmed. You licked your lips nervously, Steve staring at the dart of your tongue. And then his lips were on yours.

You stood frozen—shocked—for only a moment before closing your eyes and moving your lips against his. He let go of your arms, letting you wrap them around his neck and pulling him closer, moaning into his mouth. His tongue darted into your mouth, kissing you like you've never been kissed until you were breathless and had to pull away.

Your lips were red and swollen, eyes closed as you rested your hands on Steve's chest, playing with a button on his shirt.

"Steve—"

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, voice husky. "I'm sorry I've been so mean to you. I just—I didn't know how to deal with my feelings about you."

"Shut up," you breathed. "And kiss me."

His lips crashed onto yours again, his hands on your hips as he pulled you closer into his body. The kiss was needy and possessive, the intensity of it almost frightening, the raw need and hunger behind his actions overwhelming you.

His mouth moved down your jaw, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down your neck. You fumbled behind you, undoing your dress and letting it pool at your feet. He picked you up effortlessly and you wrapped your legs around his narrow waist, hands cupping his face. He tossed you down on your bed, ripping open his blue button-down and throwing it on the floor. He pulled the white undershirt over his head, dropping it with his shirt while you kicked off your heels.

He crawled up the bed, hovering over you as he leaned down to kiss you. Just a quick peck before he moved to kiss your collar bone, his hands roaming up your thighs. One hand reached under you and you arched your back, letting him unclip your bra and slide the straps off your shoulders. He kissed along the skin he exposed, pulling the fabric down past your breasts.

He mouthed at the soft swell of your chest, sucking a red mark into your skin. He pinched your nipple lightly, rolling it between his forefinger and thumb and you jumped, arching your back. You inhaled a sharp, shaky breath when Steve popped a nipple into his mouth, his tongue lapping over the bud and swirling it around.

He continued to work down your body, kissing lower and lower and sucking marks into your skin at random intervals. He sucked a bruise in the divot between your ribs, one above your belly button, and one just above your underwear. As he peeled your lace panties off your legs and dropped them on the floor, he kissed back up your leg, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of your thigh.

You were panting, squirming as his lips met just shy of where you needed them most. You almost screamed when his tongue finally connected with your little bud. He used the tip of his tongue first, just circling your clit as you whined, his thick finger slipping into your center. He pumped his finger in and out of you leisurely, suckling at your bundle of nerves before he quickly added a second finger.

You continued this until you were right on the precipice of orgasm, and when his fingers curled and brushed against that spot inside of you, your moan broke in your throat. The taut rubber band in your stomach snapped, muscles spasming as your head fell back against your pillows, Steve licking up your mess.

Steve moved up your body and kissed you, your release coating his face and you could taste yourself on his tongue. His hands went to your hips and he suddenly flipped you so you were straddling his thighs. You deepened the kiss, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks as Steve adjusted his length to meet your center, letting you slide onto him at your own pace.

He was large. Thick and long and your tight heat clutched around him in a marvelous way and he wasn't even halfway in. Steve had broken the kiss, leaning back and his eyes fluttering shut as he marveled in the feel of you clutching him like a vice.

"Shit, sweetheart," he panted. "You feel so good."

You bottomed out, letting yourself adjust to his size before you rocked forward. You both moaned. Your clit rubbed against his pelvis as you rolled your hips harder, your hands falling to his chest for stability. His hands rested on your waist, letting you move as you desired.

"St—Steve," you whimpered, picking up your pace. The tip of his length hit a certain spot inside you and you gasped, your nails digging into his skin, his body moving in tandem with yours.

You were unbelievably close. Steve hugged you close to his chest, his lips meeting your breast as he mouthed at your nipple, groaning as he ran his hands up and down your sides. He worked his way up your neck, sucking your sensitive skin as he thrust his hips up into you and that was all it took before you were coming. You cried out his name, gasping and whimpering as your head fell into the crook of his neck.

"Fuck!" Steve groaned, thrusting several more times as your walls hugged him and he stiffened inside you, throwing his head back as he growled, his cock pulsating as he came.

Panting, he carefully laid you next to him, admiring your blissed-out gaze as he pulled your blankets over the two of you, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You smiled at him, your lipstick smeared as you opened your eyes.

"So I guess this is what Bucky was talking about?" you asked, mostly to yourself.

"What do you mean?"

"I talk to Bucky yesterday after I ran into you, I thought he might know what was going on with you. He just kinda laughed at me and told me you didn't hate me. . . . Did he know? About how you felt?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, he did."

You chewed on your lip in thought. "He said he had a plan. That during the party—oh m.y God."

"What?"

"Thor. Thor was the plan." You looked up at Steve. "Bucky knew you would get jealous so he asked Thor to dance with me."

Steve laughed. "In my defense, Thor was getting way too handsy."

You giggled. "Remind me to make Bucky some cookies tomorrow."

Steve rolled over you, caging you in his arms as he grinned down at you. Your eyebrow arched playfully. He bent down and kissed you, your hands coming up to run along his pecs. He pulled away, his smile sparkling even in the darkness of your room. You swooned, knowing that his smile was something you would never tire of seeing.

"Sleep," Steve told you. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

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badlywritten-stuff2 · 4 years

Note

Heyy I love your work so much, can I request shoji falling in love with y/n, ty

Maybe went a little overboard. Maybe. Also tumblr format go brrrrr

Despite it being so long ago, he remembers the day clearly. The day he first laid on eyes on you.

During his younger days, before UA, before middle school. Grade school. Despite being bigger than all the other children, he was shyest and quietest child in class. From an early age he was made acutely aware that he looked different, looked weird, and it hit his self esteem deeply. He would curl in on himself whenever he was called upon during class, he’d spend recess and lunch alone, his mood would sour whenever he heard his peers whispering amongst themselves when he would walk by.

It was only a matter of time before the whispers of him became more direct, and hurtful. Other students would crowd him, calling him cruel names. Freak, weirdo, ugly. Day after day it felt the same.

Until you showed up. He remembers the day like it was yesterday.

A new student had joined the class, you. He hadn’t been paying a whole lot of attention, assuming that you’d also treat him like an outsider. During lunch period, he was enduring the regular harassment the other students put him through.

As one of his bullies were about to open their mouth, their venomous words were quickly replaced with a shrill wail of pain and clutching the back of their head. Everyone, shoji included, looked to see what had hit the bully’s head.

There stood you, several rocks levitating next to you, an angry look on your young face.

Shoji couldn’t do anything but stand like a deer in headlights, watching as you told the bullies off and when they tried to gang up on you, the rocks floating beside you launched at the bullies. The rocks slammed into them roughly, bouncing off after impact, causing them to yell and run away.

Shoji blinked as you walked up to him, the face that held such determination only a moment ago melting off and being replaced with a kind, genuine smile. You reached your hand out to him, your smile not once wavering.

“Hi,” you said sweetly. “My name is y/n. Who are you?” It took a minute of shoji looking between you and your hand before he took your hand in his.

“I..I’m Shoji. Shoji Mezo.”

“Nice to meet you Shoji. Are you okay?”

You looked over at one of his arms, which had a couple bruises. Shoji looked at his arm, then shrugged. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

Your smile dimmed just a little bit, but you were quick to regain it. “Well, I’m gonna have to change that. Do you wanna walk home together?”

Believe me, Shoji did want to walk home with you. However, he still felt wary. Yes, you had just defended him from his bullies, but he just met you.

“Or not, it’s okay! You don’t have to! I just thought, you know..I could try making friends.” You looked down at your feet and kicked one of the rocks, no longer affected by your quirk.

“You..wanna be my friend?” Despite the nagging voice in the back of his mind, the voice that said it was some kind of mean joke, he wanted to know. He wanted to walk home with you, he wanted to be your friend. The look you gave him almost made him giggle.

“Yeah! I wanna be your friend, you look cool!”

Cool. Now there’s a word Shoji hasn’t been referred to before. Shoji mulled it over in his mind, his dark eyes locked in a state with your hopeful eyes. He looked down at his shoes, and shrugged.

“..okay. Yes, we can walk together.”

“Really?! Yay!” You jumped, actually jumped, and grabbed his hand and started walking. You kind of dragged Shoji behind you while you walked ahead of him, but it didn’t take long before he caught up with you. You had started talking about something, Shoji didn’t really know what though; he was looking at your face. Memorizing the details, how your face was kind and how your mouth was moving a mile a minute as you went on and on about some random topic. For the first time in a long time, Shoji felt like he had a friend.

Cut to present, third year in UA. You and Shoji had been attached to each other by the hip since your first day, you both wanting to be heroes. When you found out you’d be going to the same school, you both spent the day celebrating.

Unfortunately, you were in different classes. You in 1B and Shoji in 1A. That didn’t hinder your guys’ friendship in the slightest, thank goodness.

Whenever you’d walk by each other in the hall or make eye contact in the mess hall, or during training when your classes were either training together or were just getting into the gym, you’d smile and greet each other.

His mood would always light up when he saw you, looking at him with a toothy grin and wildly having your hand, trying to get his attention when you already had it.

After school, you’d always visit his dorm, or he’d visit yours.

“Sorry about Monoma, Moji. His head is so far up his own ass some days I swear-“

Moji. A nickname you had given him in middle school. ‘Well, it sounds cute!’ you had insisted when he said it sounded almost exactly like his regular name. He still smiles to himself about it, knowing that you wanted to give him a nickname that was ‘cute’.

When he realized it, you honestly weren’t doing anything in particular.

You both were just relaxing in your dorm, watching a scary movie (upon your insistence), and it was a lot scarier than you had both anticipated.

As the music tensed and you both could feel the oncoming jumps scare, you yelped and grabbed onto him, huddling into his side and hiding your face in his chest. While the piano sailed on the screen, his attention was only on you.

Shoji knew you felt comfortable, even safe, around him. You’d known each other since you were both little, he’d hope that you felt good in his company. But when you wrapped your arms around him, afraid and seeking safety and protection from the movie that couldn’t hurt you at all, throwing your arms around him in an attempt to ease your fear, he felt his heart skip a beat.

He made you feel safe. And boy, it felt great. He wanted to keep you safe, make sure that you were okay and happy. Without a word he brought you closer to him, wrapping you in his arms as the movie played on. He could feel his face warming as you pushed yourself deeper into his chest, not yet ready to look at the screen. He placed his chin on your head and rubbed your back, trying to soothe you.

“Is it over?” You murmured, voice muffled against his body. Shoji nodded, not moving his head off from yours, nor making any moves to let you go.

This, holding you in his arms as he comforted you, made him feel...fuzzy.

Fuzzy, it was a weird sensation. A feeling where he felt like his body was on fire and his throat started tightening and his palms started to feel clammy. But at the same time he felt warm and happy, blissful, even. He liked having you this close to him. He liked holding you.

At the realization that he felt this way he almost dropped your ass.

Uh oh. Could this be?

Feelings???

Shoji looked down at you once again to see that you had relaxed against him, not moving to get away from him or tense. In fact, you had even sighed contently.

Oh yeah.

These were feelings, and he was in some pretty deep shit- er, feelings. Feelings? Yuck.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #shoji #mezo shoji #mezou shouji #shouji mezou #mha shoji #mha shoji mezo #bnha shoji #bnha shoji mezo #shoji x reader #mezo shoji x reader #shoji mezo x reader #mha shoji x reader #shoji x y/n #x reader #x y/n

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writingoneshots · 3 years

Note

Hey uhm first of all I just wanna say, your fics are really good!😭❤ secondly, I appreciate the amount of effort you put in to your fics so thank you so much!

How about having an argument with Zoro, Sanji, Ace and Law and f!s/o accidentally says "i hate you", what would their reaction be like?

Angst but fluff and comfort ending if u may omg agsjsvs

N e wayz, have an amazing day bub!❤🥺

Sensitive Topic

Hello softiebadbitch :) ! love this name.

I wasn't really sure how to add 4 readers into one story but I think I found a good solution. It's clear to me that you wanted to have 4 separate stories but this would have been too long for one post and you can't use one request for several posts.. sadly. Hope this fixed it - I made one general story and continued with 4 different endings. All of them are in the reader version but the 'extra girlfriends' have their specific names to not make it too complicated.

Kind of like this way of writing.. wouldn't mind more requests like this :) ! Thanks for letting me explore this new style even though it probably wasn't intended.

And thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate it <3 especially because I don't know if anything I write is good enough for Tumblr or literally any request. Thank you, thank you, thank you <3 !

- Ace x reader - ZoroxRey, SanjixAna, LawxValeria (if one of these names is yours.. you're welcome) - 2,774 words (but it's a 4 in 1 story) - lovey-dovey, little pain in our chest, signs of smut, still SFW, cute moments

Spending some girl-time with your closest best friends was a really rare occasion after spending years on many pirate ships. Especially bonding with female human beings was hard. But since you were dating Ace, you finally got the chance after meeting his friends. Some of them were already in a relationship with their current partners and the rest just started dating. After a successful shopping day, you spend the rest of the evening in the fanciest diner on this island and booked a whole room just for you and your better halves. The men were probably still training or doing something unimportant, but none of you cared. "Can you believe the guy from the bakery? He dared to follow us around just to carry our bags..?", Rey laughed and finished her second glass of wine. "Just please don't tell Sanji about it. He is already heartbroken because I went shopping without him.", Ana pouted and sighed a bit sad. You rolled your eyes, "Stop whining. This is the first time after eight months that we could hang out together. And we didn't have to worry about carrying something." "Plus, the guy seemed to be really into you, Ana.", Rey smirked and gave her a flirty wink. "Stop saying that! Sanji could come here any minute! You know how jealous he can get!", Ana warned Rey and glared at her. This was the worst timing ever. "Jealous? Why?! Did anyone touch you?!", Sanji's eyes were already in flames and he almost teleported himself to his girlfriend after hearing these words. The men decided to join you all on the right - or maybe wrong? - time and chose to mock the conversation. "Probably some weird girly things, we don't wanna know about.", Ace grinned and sat down right in front of you. The men sat down on the other side of the table and didn't even choose to greet them with a hug or a kiss, except for Sanji, who could barely let his fingers of Ana. You raised an eyebrow at Ace's comment, "What?" "Just kidding! You had probably something important to talk about.. like which nail color you're supposed to get next week.", Ace added and high-fived Zoro. "Or what hairstyle you should make to match your earrings!", Zoro couldn't stop laughing at his own comment. Ace turned to Law for another high five but he just glared at the topless pirate. "What? You're leaving me hanging like this?!" "Don't drag me into this.", Law turned away from him and faced Valeria, who seemed pleased by his answer. The others were not though. You were still confused by Ace's behavior but slowly understood that he tried to be as manly as possible in front of the others. Sanji sat down on his place after failing to convince Ana to have her sit on his lap. "What do you mean? An hour ago you were talking about how Valeria tried to draw her eyeliner but ended up looking like a panda!", Ace laughed and high-fived Zoro again, who seemed to feel a bit unsure about Ace's comment now. Rey looked down at her drink, already realizing how quickly the mood changed since they started making fun of all of you. Valeria was shocked. She didn't know how to respond and just shook her head, ignoring Law's desperate look on his face. "That's enough, Ace.", you talked silently and poured yourself some wine, not caring about the waiter offering to do it for you. "What.. I-", Ace froze after seeing your face. It pained him to see you being disappointed and he didn't know how that happened. "I am sorry if I have offended anyone.. we were just talking.. ", he cleared his throat and began to feel uncomfortable. He didn't see that coming. "Then maybe you should stop it", you were still not able to look up. "Stop what? Talking?" "Yes.", your eyes flashed up to him now. He didn't expect to see the anger in them. Ace has never seen that glare directed at him. It felt way too painful. "Okay, everyone. Let's calm down now and enjoy this dinner.", Sanji tried to cool down the situation and looked at the food, which didn't look good enough for his girlfriend. "Gonna be hard when you're here.", Zoro commented under his breath and was already eating his meal. "Huh?!", Sanji clenched

his teeth and tensed all his muscles to not smack Zoro for that comment. "Can you just calm down, you two?!", Ana took a deep and annoyed breath, trying to stay calm in this uncomfortable scenario. Ace couldn't stop but to look at you, ignoring him now. "Valeria-" "Don't.", she stopped Law from whatever he was trying to say. Everyone was quiet. Nobody was eating. "..anyone want some extra bread?", the waiter whispered and stood behind you, holding up a basket with fresh bread.

-----

Ace x reader When you arrived in the room of your hotel, you still didn't dare to say a word. You were still furious about his behavior, especially because this wasn't the first time he dared to say something like that. "(Y/N), I am-" "I don't want to hear it." "Please, just let me-" "I said, that I don't want to hear it.", you hit your jacket onto the bed and let go of it a few seconds after. Taking a deep breath, Ace pressed his lips together and didn't know what to say or do. You two never had a fight like this and he feared to say something wrong, which would make you leave him. "I don't want us to go to bed angry.", he whispered sadly and stepped closer to you. You just froze and closed your eyes, trying to remain calm. "You always do this.. every time you make fun of something I do. I stopped talking about my hobbies and literally anything that makes me happy and you caught a glimpse of us having fun, and immediately you chose to mock it..." Ace frowned at that and thought back to all the times he tried to have fun with you. He never understood any of your hobbies or what girls liked, which is why he tried to spend some time with you by making jokes but it never occurred to him that it was actually hurting you. "Why did you never tell me that? I didn't know that it hurt you.." "Because I shouldn't need to tell you! I hate when you try to make fun of me or other people like that! You literally took the joy of me doing my hair, trying to learn how to skateboard or even baking muffins! I hate this, I hate the fights and I hate yo-" Both of you froze right on your spots. "Oh my God..", tears were rolling down your eyes and your knees weren't able to support you any longer. You immediately went down to your knees and hid your face in your hands. "I didn't want to say this.. it slipped.. I don't hate you, Ace!" Your heart was aching at what you were about to say. Ace didn't feel any better. He sat down right next to you and watched you wiping your tears away. "I have caused this... I am sorry, (Y/N).. This will never happen again, I promise. I just wanted to be a part of something in your life.", he took a deep breath and pulled you onto his lap. "I will find another way. Just please.. don't hate me." You shook your head and hugged him tight back, hiding your face in his neck and never ever letting him go. --- Zoro x Rey Zoro came out of the shower, just a towel around his hips and water still dripping down his naked chest. This was usually a sight, which made you jump right onto him but not this time. The pirate hunter had hoped for you to fall for it because he was really bad at apologizing but he knew you had a stronger will than him. He would have fallen for it. You were already in bed, cuddled into your pillow and ignoring him professionally. "Rey.. I can feel that you're not sleeping.", Zoro approached the bed and sighed when you didn't respond. "..are you mad at me?", he whispered now carefully. You raised an eyebrow at this provocative question and pressed your lips together, trying not to give back a stupid answer. But your mouth responded faster than your brain. "No, I am super happy about today's events. We can repeat that tomorrow again, if you feel like making fun of women-things.", you added in a sarcastic tone. "So.. that's a yes?" You turned around, the pillow tight in your grip and pulled the pillow with a loud thud onto his face. When you took the pillow away, you narrowed your eyes at his provocative smirk. "Definitely, yes." "Shut up.", you sighed and were about to turn around again but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to the other side of the bed until you were facing him. "Stop running away from your problems all the time, lady." "I really hate when you are doing this!", you tried to free your arm from his grip. "What?" "Using your strength to make me do whatever you want to!" "This is literally the reason, why you started dating me. Because I am not a weakling, who gets dragged by everyone like your stupid exes. But if you really hate it, then that means you must hate me

too, right?", he leaned forward, making sure not to miss any sort of reaction in your eyes. You looked at him surprised and didn't know what to say. After a few seconds, you shook your head and sighed a bit. "I couldn't hate you for being you. I hate the fact that you're making fun of girl-things all the time." "Alright, I'll stop then.", Zoro promised and let go of your hand. He turned around and went to the pile of washed clothes on the couch to pick out something to sleep in. Right.. I forgot how easy it can be in a relationship. You talk, promise and go on. Not believing what he just did, your brain had a thousand thoughts about what would happen during this night but it did not involve any sort of clothes. You stood up, went to him, and pulled away his towel. Zoro turned around, surprised by your decision, "Oj.. bad girl." --- Sanji x Ana After this emotional and very unusual dinner, you decided to have some tea. Sanji was still in your bedroom preparing a bath for you even though you've told him that you weren't in the mood for it. You hid in the kitchen and cooked some water, while preparing the rest. While you were looking for the honey, which he was hiding from Luffy, Sanji entered the kitchen. "Oj, what are you doing?", he approached you and immediately figured that you were making some tea. "Just something to warm myself up with a sweet taste.", you smiled a bit exhausted and felt Sanji's arms around you in an instant. "I am sorry for today.. I know that I promised you to not get triggered because of that marimo but his bare existence is to annoy me.", Sanji tried to brighten the mood and gave you a soft kiss on your head. "No, it's okay.. I am already used to it. I just wanted to have a chill day with the girls and this fight kind of ruined everything again.", you shrugged and leaned softly onto him, enjoying his muscular arms supporting you. "Oh.. so you don't hate me, right?" You laughed softly. The relationship had only just begun and Sanji had to question every move of yours. "I could never...", you looked up to him and kissed his warm lips softly, forgetting about everything that had happened in the last hour. --- Law x Valeria Law used his room ability to create a bubble surrounding the two of you. He carefully stepped closer and put his arm around your waist only to see you turn your head away from him. He tensed his jaw, trying to hide the sudden strike of pain in his chest and just decided to ignore it for now. "Shambles." You found yourself in your and Law's bedroom. After a few seconds, you just freed yourself from his arm and went straight into the bathroom, locking yourself in. Law just stood there, not knowing what to do or say. He had definitely hurt your feelings but he didn't know how to apologize for it. "Val..", he closed the distance slowly to the door and tried to listen to whatever you were doing inside. It sounded like you were throwing something away and sniffling quietly. Fuck.. "Valeria.. what are you doing?" "Cleaning.", your response was sharp. Law knew that he was a genius, who could solve the hardest puzzle on this planet or even have a detailed discussion with Robin, but even Luffy or Kid would have been able to figure out what you were doing right now. "Stop throwing away your things. I like it when you put on your make-up." "Are you sure about that? Or are you going to call me a dog or a salamander the next time you talk to others?!", you wiped away your tears and threw away the rest of the make-up, which you bought today. "Stop overreacting. I was just talking about your eyeliner the other day and you hated it too. Take out the make-up again and forget about it.", he sighed and knew that this wasn't something he should say but he also knew that it would trigger you enough to get out of the bathroom. "You know what-!", you opened the door harshly and stepped out, pointing your index finger at him. Law had a hard time hiding his cheeky smile because he already knew you well enough. "I hate what you're doing! Always talking about me behind my back! I hate

you for it!", you crossed your arms at your chest and took a deep breath, trying to control the last brain cells, which are still able to hold you back from kissing his cheeky smirk. The pirate captain raised an eyebrow at that and needed a second to choose his next words wisely. "Did you just tell me that you hate me?" "I said that I hate you for it! Not that I hate you!" "This is literally the same..", Law tilted his head a bit and couldn't quite accept that. "I hate it when you talk about me behind my back before talking to me personally. You were the first one to say 'I love you' but not directly to me.. no! You said it to Bepo first and he told me. Then you said that you preferred my soft cookies more than the brownies but again: you didn't tell me! You told Sanji! And to the newest 'Law is a wimp and can't tell his girlfriend anything personally', you told the boys that I looked like a damn panda!" "But a cute one..", Law smirked now and stepped closer, putting his hand on your cheek softly. You were just about to smack it away but Law was faster. He pushed you against a wall within a second and pressed his body against yours. His hand rested on your neck and he pressed his thumb against your chin, forcing you to look up at him. "Say it again, Valeria..", he purred your name in his dangerously sexy voice. "Say that you hate me." You frowned at his reaction and didn't really understand how this turned him on. "No, you weirdo." "Say it.", he commanded now and leaned closer to you, your lips barely touching. "Make me.", your last brain cells just said their goodbyes. A harsh sound of him pulling out his belt appeared beside you and you couldn't look away. His eyes were focused on yours as if he'd die if he'd miss anything for a second. "Don't tell Bepo.. but you're my favorite panda." "You fucking... I really hate you now.", you spoke through your teeth and tried to push him away. The most heartwarming laugh escaped Law's lips and he immediately locked his lips with yours, not giving you a chance to respond to him laughing. Law pulled your arms behind your back and tied them with his belt. "That's my girl.", he whispered in between your kiss and didn't let go of you for the rest of the night.

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theclockworkmonk · 3 years

Text

Desire and Will

This is the most popular fic in my "Aang/Katara Missing Moments" series on AO3. This is the first time I'm posting it to tumblr.

Summary: With Aang still having trouble letting loose with his firebending, Zuko asks an alarming question:

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Words: 3,944

Read on AO3

FF.net

*******

Katara was awoken by what was, to her, the scariest sound in the world: the sound of Aang in pain.

"OW!" she heard him cry out, and she wrenched her eyelids open and rolled to face where his voice was coming from. There, she saw Aang still laying on the ground where he had been sleeping, rubbing his backside like it had been kicked. Towering over him, fists clenched and face scowling...was Zuko.

A jolt a fear cut through Katara's still half-asleep mind as she reached over for her bending skin and flicked it open with her thumb. She was ready to fight, ready to—

"You're burning daylight!" Zuko barked at Aang, "Get up! Twenty hot squats, now!"

Katara's sleep fog finally cleared and she remembered why Zuko was here in their camp. She remembered their whole reluctant arrangement to have Zuko teach Aang firebending, and the nerve-wracking few days they had disappeared together and apparently danced with dragons.

Katara groggily collapsed back onto her pillow, too tired to even growl at Zuko that the rest of them didn't have to train to defeat his evil dad, thankyouverymuch, so maybe bark his orders more quietly at absurd hours in the morning.

Aang seemed to be feeling the same way, because he just moaned in response. Zuko squatted down next to Aang and pointed out into the canyon that contained the Western Air Temple, where the sky was already turning blood red.

"You see that? That's sunrise, Avatar. That's the sign of a firebender's inner strength coming to life with a new day." He grabbed Aang by the shoulder and started shaking him, "Can you feel it, Aang? Can you feel your inner fire starting to reignite?"

"No," grunted Aang plainly.

Katara was remembering more now, and becoming more annoyed. Right, what had Zuko said to her at the north pole? "You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun?" of course it made perfect sense that on top of being cruel, bloodthirsty monsters, firebenders were also something far worse: morning people. Ugh, did this mean that Aang was also going to be a morning person from now on?

"Well we've got to fix that," said Zuko, and he practically dragged Aang to his feet and started pushing him off towards the courtyard that they used to train, that jutted out from underneath the rock overhang so they were actually in the sun. With their sleeping area quiet again, Katara tried to go back to sleep, but now the knowledge that Aang was off with Zuko, alone, at the other end of the temple was nagging at her brain. It wasn't like she thought Zuko would suddenly attack him or something; she had accepted by now that this wasn't some kind of absurdly elaborate plot against them—mainly because she didn't think Zuko was clever enough to pull off something like that. But still, whenever she thought about Aang with no one around him but Zuko, she found that she...didn't like it.

After a few minutes, she accepted that she wasn't getting any more sleep, so she got herself up and started making her way in the same direction Zuko and Aang had gone. As she was rounding the last corner before the courtyard, she started to hear their voices.

"So if my firebending wakes me up with the sun, and my waterbending keeps me up with the moon, when exactly am I supposed to sleep?"

"You slept for a hundred years, isn't that enough?"

Aang laughed, but Katara recognized it as his uncomfortable laugh. Aang never liked being reminded of all that time he wasn't there for the world, which Zuko would know if he wasn't such a heartless jerk and a terrible teacher. The fact that he barely knew Aang and had no way of knowing what he was uncomfortable with was entirely beside the point.

Katara decided to not announce her presence and instead leaned against one of the stone pillars within the shade of the overhang, while they were out in the increasingly bright morning sun. She was far enough away and in enough shade that they were unlikely to notice her, but if they did happen to look her way then she could plausibly deny she was snooping. She didn't like the idea of leaving Aang alone with Zuko, but she still realized hovering would interfere with them. Aang was always trying to impress her and Zuko was still visibly terrified of her ever since she threatened to kill him the day he joined their team (which she definitely didn't take any pride in).

Aang and Zuko finished their warm-ups and faced a target at the far end of the courtyard, a few wooden logs they had haphazardly nailed together in the vague shape of a human.

"Okay, let's see if that trip to almost get eaten by dragons was worth it," said Zuko, "set your stance..."

Aang positioned himself in a sideways battle stance in opposition to the dummy.

"Now, control your breathing…"

Aang drew in a deep breath and slowly released it.

"Now…STRIKE!"

Aang punched his right first towards the dummy, and a single fireball erupted from his knuckles, traveling about 10 yards to the dummy, briefly engulfing it in flames before dissipating. After the fire and smoke had quickly cleared, Katara saw that the dummy was slightly singed, with a few spots glowing orange for a few seconds before cooling down. Katara could feel the heat of the blast from where she was standing.

Zuko, however, didn't look impressed, "Well that was...certainly better, I guess."

"You guess!?" Aang incredulously asked out loud, and Katara incredulously asked in her head at the same time, "Come on, that was the biggest blast I've ever made!"

"Yeah, and if you were any other novice, we'd call that a really promising start. Heck, you might even be called a prodigy. People would be saying you could become a master in just a few years."

Aang's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"But we don't have a few years, obviously, so sorry, but we need to find a way to fast-track this."

Aang threw his hands in the air, "Well what more can I possibly do!"

Zuko frowned and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Well to be honest, I think you're still being too timid and restrained. You're certainly doing a lot better than before our trip, but I still sense a lot of energy in you that you're not letting out."

Aang looked confused and started to get defensive, "Well of course I'm holding a little back, I'm trying to stay in control! Jong Jong said that firebending requires constant discipline or fire will destroy you. He didn't even let me shoot fire, he had me try to stop a bit of fire from growing, and when I didn't listen to him—" Aang managed to cut off his own rambling and managed to take a deep breath and closed his eyes, "that was when I burned Katara."

Zuko's face cycled through several different expressions as a lot of things suddenly started making sense.

"...Oh," was the only thing he could say.

Aang continued, "I hated that version of myself, even more than when I've gone into the Avatar State. After that, I promised myself I would never firebend at all!"

Katara tried to keep track of all the different emotions she was feeling. She was touched by the fact that Aang cared about her so much that the memory of hurting her still got him to be this upset, annoyed at him for being this worked up over something that happened months ago, she had long since forgiven, and was really not important in the context of their mission, and guilty that her getting hurt and the way she reacted had caused him this much heartache, even while she knew that she hadn't really done anything wrong.

Zuko sighed, raised his hand, and after a few seconds of hesitation, lightly patted Aang's shoulder in the most awkward, panicked "there-there" gesture Katara had ever seen.

"Look Aang," said Zuko, "I can't speak to what this 'Jong Jong' guy taught you. Maybe his way is better, I don't know, but it sounds like it takes a lot longer, and we don't have the luxury of being patient and deliberate about this."

He pulled on Aang's shoulder and turned him around so he would stop looking at his feet in self-pity and look his teacher in the face again, "The people of the world don't need their Avatar to be a wizened sage right now, they need a stick of dynamite."

Zuko took a few steps away and tried his best to pretend to be a wizened sage himself, "I can only teach you how I was taught, and I was taught that even when it's not fuelled by anger and rage, all firebending is still fuelled by strong emotion. When teaching me about the elements, my uncle said—let's see if I can get this right…"

He started rubbing his hand on an invisible large belly, stroking an invisible beard, and speaking in an old man's raspy voice in his best impersonation of his uncle.

"Fire is the element of Power. The people of the Fire Nation have Desire and Will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want."

Aang chuckled at the impression, his mood clearly improving, while Zuko looked really impressed with himself. Katara wouldn't have been surprised to learn that this was the first time in his life the dour prince had made someone laugh.

"See what I mean? Remember what we learned with the dragons. Fire is Life. And passion for life is what fuels firebending. You need to stop thinking like a monk and use your passion."

Aang didn't look frustrated or dejected anymore, but he did look puzzled.

"Um...okay," Aang said, thoughtfully scratching his head, "How am I supposed to do that?"

Now it was Zuko's turn to get frustrated. He hadn't anticipated one of his jobs as a teacher being having to explain how to feel things to this guy. That was something he was not qualified for.

"I don't know," said Zuko, not hiding the annoyance in his voice, "just think about it. Try to recreate those emotions when you're channeling your energy for your bending, and it might make your firebending more powerful. Hasn't there ever been something you...desired? Coveted, even? Something that you needed to have or to win more than anything?"

Katara almost laughed out loud, boy are you barking up the wrong tree.

Aang spent a few seconds earnestly considering Zuko's question, "I don't think so. My people believed that worldly material possessions were meaningless, and attachment to them was the source of suffering. We didn't really have anything beyond what we needed and a few toys that we shared. I played games with all my friends, but I didn't really care much if I won, I just tried to make sure everybody had fun."

Katara was grinning at what an unbelievable dork the mighty savior of the world was.

Zuko, however, groaned and dragged both hands down his face, "Yeah, of course you did." It seemed to Katara that this was the first time Zuko was having to relate to someone who was actually a good person.

Aang just shrugged at Zuko's exasperation, "Sorry, hotman."

"Stop calling me that!" Zuko thought for several more seconds before his eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers with an idea, but then immediately looked like he regretted having the idea, and started looking deeply uncomfortable.

"Hey...can I ask you a personal question? It's going to sound weird and unrelated, but just trust me, okay?"

Aang raised an eyebrow, "Uh….sure?"

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Aang's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, his face turning bright pink, and Katara's heart seemed to stop in its tracks.

After what seemed like an eternity, Aang finally found his voice again, but all he could manage was a weak, "Uh...what?"

"Just bear with me for a second," pressed Zuko.

"Um," Aang squeaked, "Yes. Yes I have." and his face moved past pink into deep scarlet.

"Okay," breathed Zuko, "Now, I know I'm sounding like a gossiping school girl, but I promise I'm going somewhere with this. Ugh."

He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, like this conversation was physically painful. "Tell me about your first kiss," he finished in a too-deep voice, very transparently overcompensating.

Katara was positively screaming inside her own head, No Aang, do not, under ANY circumstances, tell him about your first kiss.

She felt like her heart and stomach had completely removed from her body. She refused to believe that these were the circumstances where The Incident between she and Aang was finally getting verbalized. Aang hadn't even bothered to talk to her about it yet, there was no way he was going to spill it all to Zuko. The fact that the main reason Aang hadn't talked to her about it was the fact that she had been avoiding him non-stop was entirely beside the point.

Katara started running through a hundred scenarios to try to find some way to stop this conversation. Should she rush in and pretend to be sick? Say that they're under attack? Just stay hidden and bloodbend them both unconscious? But before she could decide on one, to her horror, Aang started talking.

"Well," Aang began, his cheeks still red, "it was back at the Southern Air Temple—"

All of Katara's panic seemed to instantly vanish and be replaced with confusion.

Wait, what? Why is he telling him that? Katara thought, We barely knew each other at the Southern Temple….Does he THINK we kissed at the Southern Temple? I guess that would explain a lot. Did he hallucinate or something while in the Avatar State—

"—and she was part of a visiting caravan."

….Oh.

Oh.

"We got along really well while she was there, she was really good at all of my favorite games, and while we were saying goodbye she just kissed me."

OH.

"By the time I realized what was going on, she just giggled and jumped up on her bison."

Katara was simultaneously feeling unbelievable relief that her big secret wasn't being talked about and unbelievable white-hot fury at Aang. She had just spent several weeks believing that her first kiss had also been Aang's, and now she finds out that she's just the latest? Latest of how many? Exactly how friendly had he gotten with those fangirls on Kyoshi Island? She was two years older than him, by all rights she should be on at least equal footing with him in this mess between them, who gave him permission to have more experience with kissing than her? The fact that he had never once told her that he had never kissed a girl before was entirely beside the point.

But Katara cycled through all these thoughts in just a split second before calming herself down and realizing that she had no reason to care about this. What did it matter if Aang had kissed some girl a hundred years ago? It's not like she thought of Aang that way. Aang had clearly just misunderstood her platonic affections. It's not like she had ever seriously thought about kissing him (especially not during some of the more recent times she had kissed him on the cheek). In fact, she doubted that even he had given any serious thought to kissing. He just had a little crush and the intensity of the moment got to his head. So this is fine.

It's fine.

Seriously, it's fine.

It's completely fine. Whatever she was feeling certainly wasn't jeal—

"Wait, she kissed you?" Zuko interrupted Aang's rambling and yanked Katara back to reality, "I asked you if you had ever kissed a girl."

"Well you also asked me to tell you about my first kiss!" Aang yelled with his hands in the air, frustrated again, "Which one is it!" He was clearly angry that in his panic he had revealed an embarrassing story for no reason.

Zuko put his palms up defensively, "Okay, okay, sorry, bad wording on my part. So, to clarify: have you ever kissed someone else? Have you ever been the one to take the initiative?"

Katara's heart started racing again. Why couldn't Zuko get distracted and drop this?

"Um…" Aang's face had been red before, but now all the color seemed to drain from it and he looked like a ghost, "...yes. But I don't think dwelling on that will help fix my problem. In fact, it's kind of a downer, actually."

"Why, was she an airbender too?" Zuko asked. He supposed dwelling on a girl he had feelings for that had been killed a hundred years ago would be counterproductive in fueling Aang's inner fire.

Despite how angry she had gotten at Aang's kissing experience, Katara now found herself hoping this girl was another airbender.

"No," Aang responded, rubbing the back of his neck, "this was after I came out of the ice. Pretty recent, in fact…"

No such luck.

"Okay, so what's the problem?" asked Zuko.

"Well...it didn't exactly work out well for me. She didn't really kiss me back."

Katara scowled, well that's not fair, she thought with more than a little bitterness. It's not like she had a chance to. You're not allowed to act upset if someone doesn't kiss you back when you spring a kiss on them with no warning and then fly away before they even know what's going on. If he hadn't been so dramatic and used his actual words then she would have—

Katara let out a gasp of fear at where her train of thought was leading her. She would have….what, exactly? If she had known the kiss was coming ahead of time, what would she have done? Let him down easy? Told him to focus on the mission? Thrown him into the ocean?...or would she have kissed him back?

No.

Well…

Certainly not.

Maybe?

Perhaps if they tried again wow where did THAT thought come from?

Meanwhile, back in reality, Zuko was waving away Aang's concerns, "That doesn't matter. Don't think about anything that happened afterward. Just bring yourself back to that one moment, where you overcame caution and went after what you wanted. Set your stance."

Aang faced the dummy and resumed his fighting stance.

Katara couldn't help but inch a little closer away from her "hiding" spot. Now that Zuko had stopped pressing Aang for details and was doing his job, she felt like she could observe with a nervous curiosity instead of outright panic.

"Now," instructed Zuko, "take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture this girl, how she looked in that moment."

Aang's eyes closed and drew in a breath.

Katara swallowed hard. At this moment, there was no more uncertainty about Aang. He was thinking about her, in that way, right now. And that knowledge made her hold her breath and made her face get a little warm.

"Try to remember how you felt immediately beforehand. How she made you feel. Try to recreate how your heartbeat was affected. It's starting to get faster and harder. How your breathing changed—remember, it's your breath that creates energy in the body for firebending. Yours is getting shallower and more intense. Remember how your stomach muscles reacted. They're tensing in anticipation. Now, in your mind's eye, make your move and kiss her, and at the same time….STRIKE!"

Aang punched his right fist towards the dummy, and his hand exploded.

There was no whoosh like with the previous fireball, but a roar as a conical wave of fire erupted from Aang's knuckles, completely enveloping the dummy 10 yards away and continuing onward to blast past the outer railing of the stone courtyard into the vast expanse of the canyon. And to Katara's alarm, it kept going. It wasn't a single blast but a continuous, monstrous stream of fire easily 15 feet wide at its biggest and so hot that Katara had to turn away and shield her eyes.

Several seconds later, the flames finally died down and Aang blinked his eyes open, looking equal parts proud and terrified of himself. The wooden dummy….did not exist anymore. There was no way to tell if Aang had burned it to ashes or simply blasted it backwards into the canyon. The previously white stones that made up the part of the courtyard that had been in front of Aang were now blackened and cracked.

Zuko had reflexively thrown up his arms to shield his face, stumbling backward. He was still sitting on the ground, eyes widened to the size of Appa's, and his mouth hanging open in shock. He sat there for several more silent seconds until Aang gave an awkward cough, then his face split into the biggest grin Katara had ever seen on him and he started cackling with delirious relief and excitement.

"All right!" Zuko exclaimed, jumping to his feet, "Now that's what I'm talking about!" he loudly clapped his hand on Aang's back, who had returned to looking embarrassed.

"No, don't you clam up again," warned Zuko, "hold onto that feeling. Come on, I'll show you how to make a flame whip."

Katara slinked backward away from her pillar and began a very undignified scurry back to their sleeping area. The fire had long since dissipated, but her face still felt hot and flustered, and her stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. Her mind was filled up by the same three words, repeating over and over again:

I did that.

Thinking about her made Aang able to do that. She could no longer simplify things by telling herself that this was just a confusing crush he had let get to his head. For most of the time she had known Aang, the thought that he would have any….desires like that for anyone simply didn't compute for her. He was too selfless, too kind, too pure. He was a monk for crying out loud.

But what she just saw Zuko coax out of her sweet, innocent friend was….not pure. Had he had this inside of him the entire time? And what brought this out of him was thinking about her. Thinking about kissing her. As much as she tried to deny it, when she thought about this power she had over him….she liked it. She was now able to see Aang in a new light, and at least consider the possibility of being more than friends with him.

But she still fought against it, because that realization was absolutely terrifying.

Katara shook her head and splashed some of her bending water on her face. She resolved to keep doing what she had been doing: focusing on their mission. She could sort out all this confusion when the war was over.

Although….

If the goal was to help Aang defeat the Fire Lord and end the war, then naturally they all had an obligation to assist Aang with his bending in any way they could, right? So she supposed it couldn't hurt to give Aang the occasional extra-tight hug now and then. Purely for training purposes, of course.

After all, she thought with a slight smirk as she arrived back at camp, everyone else still sound asleep, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn't give my student the attention he needed?

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