#it’s been 4 years since the show ended and I’m still mad about it

[ididdedurmom]

More evil head cannons

I have silly ideas about the gang after the event of the story, everyone lives, except Bob

PONY:

Has a thousand yard stare when he zones out

Has the loudest, most disgusting, mucus filled cough ever

Actually really good at drawing

Has drawn every member of the gang at least twice

Loves physical touch, he leans on his friends when their sitting next to him.

Actually screams during horror movies, like loud genuine screams

Loves play fighting with Darry, like full on wrestling

Steve taught him how to drive

He either walks like a ghost or stomps, there is no in between

He can play one song on the guitar, and that’s it

His legs are super strong, so his kicks hurt really bad

He would be better at track, but his smoking habits hold him back

He feels jealous of Soda and Darry because they had more time with their parents

He and Darry have matching reading glasses

SODA:

He says “I’m just a girl” anytime he gets in trouble

He has used his pretty privilege to get out of being arrested multiple times

Despite how handsome he knows he is, he still feels super insecure about his looks

He steals from the DX station constantly

He and Steve spend hours gossiping about their customers once both of their shifts are over

A dog bit him when he was a kid, now he’s deathly afraid of them

He loves physical affection, hugging him is the best way to cheer him up

Absolute candy addict

Candy is the #1 item he steals from the DX

He broke his dominant hand once, and now his handwriting is permanently ruined

He reads insanely slow and monotone when he reads out loud

He either sleeps like a rock, or wakes up from the slightest sound, there is no in between

He lives in his flannel, that thing hasn’t been washed in literal years

He suffers from middle child syndrome, he knows his brothers love him, but they don’t pay enough attention to him

DARRY:

He hates his jobs, he knows he has to go but he can’t stand them

All of his coworkers are old and they treat him like a child (which he’s kind of okay with in a way)

He loves watching cartoons but he feels like he’d be wasting his time

He sneezes like a dad

He wakes up at 4 am and works out immediately

Loves compliments and words of affection

Doing favors is his love language

He has the whitest legs ever, he’s all tan on the top and snow white on the bottom

His tan ends where his pants start

Small bits of his hair are grey, he doesn’t know

He has a fear of abandonment

He is insanely flexible for a man of his size, like he can touch the floor standing up with ease

He hit a dog with his car once and cried for 2 hours straight

He loves cuddling on the couch with his brothers, it helps him relax

He despises Curly Shepard, he’s civil with Tim, but he HATES Curly

When he comes home from his ski trips with his old friends, he actually looks his age

A woman once assumed he was Pony’s father, and it made him die inside a little

He can’t stand Mother and Fathers Day

He was mad at Steve when he found out he taught Pony how to drive

TWO-BIT:

He and Dally bond by harassing women

He has a box full of things he’s stolen

His slight alcoholism stems from his father

He let’s his sister paint his nails, and he shows them off proudly

He gets his nails painted before rumbles

He watches soap operas with his mother every night

He can play the trumpet

He has never purchased a pack of cigarettes, only stolen

He listens to metal

When he passes Johnny’s house, he has to actively stop himself from walking in and beating Johnny’s parents half to death, especially his father

Its not that he doesn’t want a job, I mean he doesn’t, it’s that he thinks he’d only mess up whenever they had him do

He constantly forgets to brush his teeth

Pop and beer are the only things he drinks, he doesn’t touch water

He religiously wears Mickey Mouse merch, you will never catch him in a plain shirt

Baby Pony and him got along really well, he was kinda like Pony’s goofy cousin

Two-Bit and Darry have been friends since they were little kids

Two has no plans for his future, and it weighs on him

He broke both of his elbows once

His teachers have kinda given up on him, they just treat him like a bother instead of a student

STEVE:

He messes up Pony’s hair every chance he gets

He uses the most hair grease out of everyone

He has had the same comb for 3 years

He constantly smells like oil

The underside of his nails are always black, no matter how much he washes his hands

He and Soda have matching scars from a shared failed attempt to climb a barb wired fence

He is terrified of the police

He and Soda make your mom jokes at each other, despite neither of them having mothers

His voice is scarily deep when he wakes up

He and Two-Bit have an inside joke no one in the gang understands

He, Soda, and Two-Bit all have matching stick and poke tattoos

He hates his father, and by extension the fathers of Johnny and Two-Bit

He and Dally don’t hang out much, but when they do they are absolute menaces

Dally and him steal cars and hub caps together

He is genuinely upset by the size of his nose

JOHNNY:

He’s dyslexic

His handwriting is atrocious

His best subject is math

He and the gang all picked out stickers to put on his crutches

He loves sleeping around his friends

His hands are rough

He can’t stand the smell of beer, unless it’s one of the gang

He and Curly hate each other for literally no reason

Pony has slowly been teaching him to read better

No matter how much grease he puts in his hair, it won’t stay back

He hates going out in public because people always look at him funny

He hates looking at his burn scars

He, Dally, and Ponyboy watch sunsets together

He either sleeps at the Cutis’s house, Two-Bit’s house, Steve’s (very rarely), or Dallas’s place.

He’s not allowed to sleep in the lot anymore

He has tons of freckles, you just can’t see them against his skin

He loves sleeping outside when he wants to

He never wants children, he’s to scared he’ll become his father

His pain tolerance is so high that sometimes he won’t even notice when he gets injured

He likes how defensive Dallas is of him, makes him feel confident

He smokes marijuana with Dally sometimes, he’s super anxious when they do though because he doesn’t want to get arrested

DALLY:

He will not talk about his feelings

The cops forced him to go to therapy, it didn’t fix anything

He is amazing at lying

The police know him by name

He hasn’t told the gang much about the past other than where he came from and that he doesn’t talk to his folks

Darry nicknamed him “Rat”

He actually feels bad when Darry yells at him

He gets sun burns very quickly

He has his own personal stench

He doesn’t want Johnny to end up like him

He cried for 3 hours straight when he found out Johnny was still alive, it is his most embarrassing moment

He chugs drinks insanely fast

He can’t read very well

He needs glasses but he thinks he’d look like a wimp if he had any

Even though he knows he could have an asthma attack from coughing to hard, he still doesn’t carry his inhaler

He was happy when he thought he was going to die

Then he woke up and had an epiphany about life, it didn’t do to much, but now he knows death isn’t the only option

He proudly shows off the burn marks on his arm

He loves pushing Johnny around in his wheelchair

He listens to outlaw music and Frank Sinatra

He loves horror movies

He toned down his bad behavior once he got out of the hospital, he’s still a dick though

That’s it or whatever. I hope you like them, I’m sorry if some of them don’t make sense. I’m just so silly. I apologize for my horrible grammar lol. Feel free to tell me some of your head cannons!! :D

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn��t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[ladykailitha]

Well Met By Moonlight Part 17

Welcome to the beginning of the end, for the next four weeks I will be putting out the last chapters of this story. It's done. And I am sorry to see it go. I really loved writing this story even if it kept changing on me and evolving into what it is today.

In this chapter we have Jason being sneaky, Wayne and a new werewolf in town.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

~

Eddie and Steve were having a quiet walk about town, holding hands and talking softly to each other sweet things.

Or that’s how it looked on the outside.

They were actually on the hunt. Wayne had been teaching Eddie how to hunt like vampire the last two years, and Steve was learning how to hunt as a werewolf and not just as a man in a wolf suit from Nancy.

What were they hunting? The manticore. Steve’s stronger sense of smell would help them track the beast down, while Eddie’s extensive knowledge of its habits and haunts would narrow down where to look.

People often assumed that Eddie was bad at facts and dates but he wasn’t. He was actually pretty good at them, his problem in school was not doing the homework. He would ace every test, he’d just forget to turn in his assignments.

Hell, his first senior year got one of the Hellfire Club members mad at him because he scored in the top ten percent of the nation on a portion of the SAT. She was averaging an A- average in the class they shared together and thought that that meant she should have gotten in the top ten percent of nation instead of him. To say that things soured between them after that was an understatement.

All this to say that Eddie was smart. Smarter than people gave him credit for and not just how he figured out the meaning behind Patrick’s attack. He knew people. Differently then the way Steve knew people, but still he was clever and quick witted.

Eddie stopped in his tracks and jutted his chin across the street. “Isn’t that Jason Carver?”

Steve looked where he was indicating and frowned. “I thought your uncle said he was sick. What’s he doing in town?”

“Uncle Wayne’s been saying that Jason is becoming more and more withdrawn since Patrick was attacked,” Eddie explained. “He thinks he might have recommend Jason be brought to the full extent of the law, which is something Uncle Wayne really isn’t looking forward to.”

“But we’re trying to find Patrick’s attacker!” Steve protested. “I thought he would be happier that we’re trying to get justice for his friend.”

Eddie frowned, the crease between his eyebrows deepened. “I think his hatred of werewolves and vampires goes deeper than his sense of justice for his friend.”

Steve shook his head. That just couldn’t be true. He knew Jason from basketball. You wouldn’t be able to find a boy more loyal to his friends than Jason Carver. But he raised his head and looked Eddie in the eye and knew. Jason had only showed him his good qualities because they were equals.

Eddie had seen the worst of the other boy. The sneering viciousness beneath the veneer of civility that he showed to those he thought lesser than him.

“We need to find the manticore before he breaks his masters bonds,” Steve whispered. “I’m more concerned what an unbound creature like that could do to this town, over someone like Jason.”

Eddie watched Jason for a moment more. The other teen did not seem to be up to anything nefarious, other than lying to Uncle Wayne, so he nodded.

But the hairs on the back of his neck prickled and the hairs on his arm stood up on end. There was a predator here. He looked around him.

“Babe?” Steve asked, reaching out to touch his elbow. “What wrong?”

“What do you smell just now?” he asked, searching the shadows.

Steve stilled. He scented the air. The wind was changing, but there!

“It’s a sharp metal tang in the air,” he murmured. “Like the scent of dried blood. It’s acrid.” He wrinkled his nose. “Foul.”

Eddie nodded. “That’s what I scented too, but now it’s gone. Whatever it was, though. It was not the manticore.”

Steve shook off a shiver that slid down his spine. “It was werewolf. But not one in my pack.”

“Banished you think?” Eddie asked as the wind shifted to carry the scent away from them. He could still feel the uneasy feeling down the pads of his feet. Whoever was out there was dangerous.

Steve tugged on his sleeve. “Let’s get out of here. There’s nothing else we can do today. The rogue werewolf would have sent the manticore aground.”

Eddie nodded, the cat sìth was probably hiding the manticore’s scent anyway. “We need to talk to Wayne.”

~

Wayne listened intently to their report, soaking in everything they told him. He sat back and thought through it all.

“I think I know who the Banished you smelled in town is,” he said quietly. He handed Eddie the file he’d gotten from Sam and waited.

“Dr. Alexei Oborin,” Eddie read aloud. “That’s Nancy’s werewolf, right? The one she was sure caused a stir when she was little.”

Steve frowned. “She hasn’t told me anything about that.”

Wayne nodded like he wasn’t surprised. “She was waiting to see what that file contained. But I’m leaving it up to you if you want to share it with her. It’s has some pretty gruesome stuff.”

Steve nodded absently as he read over Eddie’s shoulder, the other man waiting until he was done before turning to the next page. No matter how much longer it took Steve than Eddie.

“The name of his bondmate is blacked out,” he said with that little frown of his that made Eddie want to bite him between the eyebrows for being too cute. “Do we know why?”

Wayne shook his head. “I’ve already pressed my source pretty hard to get the file. He could get fired if he doesn’t return it in a week.”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance, but wisely said nothing.

“They were teenagers who were camping out in the woods near the pack compound,” Steve read. He frowned. “That’s strange.”

Eddie and Wayne’s heads snapped his direction.

“Look at the location of the two girls bodies...” he pulled out the photo in file and turned it to face Wayne.

Wayne looked at the picture and then back up at him. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at, if I’m honest here, Steve.”

“It’s something I learned recently from Nancy,” he replied. “I don’t fight like a wolf in wolf form. I don’t go for the jugular for example because I know as human how easy it is for a human to throw up their arms to protect that area of the body. I knock them over first and press my weight on their chest to make it harder for them to do just that.”

Eddie frowned, but Wayne looked back down at the photo.

“Shit!”

The arms and upper torso were torn to shreds, the way you would expect from a wolf attack, but the bodies themselves were arranged to make it look it was the work of a crazed werewolf. Like something straight out of a horror movie.

“Someone moved the bodies?” Eddie reasoned. “But why would Alexei do that if he thought the kids were hunters? There would be no reason to. It was supposedly self-defense.”

“Unless it wasn’t,” Wayne said, continuing his nephew’s thought. “What if the bondmate came and rearranged the bodies to plead insanity on Alexei’s behalf?”

Steve nodded. “And then when that didn’t work, they claimed that the kids were hunters.”

Wayne rubbed at the stubble on his chin wishing, not for the first time, that he had been changed with a clean shaven face.

“That make sense.”

Eddie closed the file and looked on the front of the folder. “VHS? Video Home System?” He tilted his head to the side.

Wayne snorted, then giggled. Suddenly the stoic vampire was laughing so hard, tears of blood rolled down his cheeks. He took out a handkerchief and wiped away the tears.

“No, no,” he said around his feral grin. “It stands for The Van Helsing Society. But, dear god, I am going to use that on that bastard the next time I saw him.”

“As in Abraham Van Helsing?” Eddie asked, his eyes wide. “From Dracula?” He scooted forward to the edge of his seat.

Wayne nodded, still grinning. “The first name was changed but Van Helsing was a real person. Karl Van Helsing was the first to come up with the first policing body for supernatural beings. After the incident in London, it was pretty clear that people were going to start noticing that supernatural beings existed and he came up with The Van Helsing Society.”

“Pretty arrogant of him to name it after himself,” Steve huffed, rolling his eyes.

Eddie scoffed, throwing himself back against the sofa cushions. “Says the alpha of the Harrington pack.” Then he shook his head and muttered. “It had to be fucking cops.”

Steve just shrugged. “I never said that was also arrogant. I never understood why it wasn’t called the Hawkins Pack or Roane Pack considering being alpha isn’t hereditary.”

Wayne smiled at Steve. He had always liked him since he was a young boy learning that his parents had died. But he was really starting to like the man that boy had become, too. Because it was ridiculous that the pack hadn’t been named after the town or county it resided in.

“They are far more than just cops, Ed,” he warned. “They are a powerful group with abilities all their own. Crossing one of the Society isn’t the same as crossing a mortal or even supernatural cop, like Hopper. They are protected against possession, hypnotism, and even enthrallment.”

“Are they all descendants of the original dude?” Steve asked, pressing even closer to Eddie on the sofa. He didn’t like the sound of these supernatural cops either. Because where were they when he was being abused by the Franklins. He couldn’t even remember the night he first changed. He only remembered when he came to and he and Wayne were burying their bodies. He was just so grateful that the abuse was over that he really didn’t think of why.

But Wayne was shaking his head. “According to the records the last Van Helsing died during the oiliphéist riots of 1922 in Ireland.”

“That’s too bad,” Eddie said, cocking his head to the side. “As anti-vampire as the name has become a symbol of these days, I would still have liked to have met one of his descendants.”

Wayne chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve had the pleasure only once. Greta Van Helsing in 1871. She was a spitfire to say the least.”

Eddie ran his hands over his face. “Please tell me you didn’t fuck her...” he moaned.

“Not on your life,” Wayne huffed. “Even if she was immune to the whole agents and supes producing unhinged offspring, she was a lesbian and won’t have even spared me a glance.”

“Unhinged as in cool super powers, unhinged?” Eddie asked, lowering his hands from his face. “Or mental asylum unhinged?”

“Sadly the latter,” Wayne said mournfully. “The magic that they use to protect themselves from being controlled does nasty things to the natural magics supernatural beings are made of.”

“But Van Helsings were immune?” Steve asked, still pressed to Eddie’s side.

Wayne nodded. “Probably because like most things in nature needing a balance, the Van Helsings were naturally the balance to the supernatural creatures of the world. There are probably other families just like them, but Van Helsings are merely the most notable.”

“Makes sense,” Eddie said, taking Steve’s hand and giving it a squeeze. He could tell this talk of the Van Helsings was making him upset.

“In other news,” he said, “The Hughes, the Hollands, the Martins, and the Camerons are all willing to send in guards for Steve.”

“I wasn’t aware the Camerons were supernatural,” Wayne said rubbing his chin. “What are they?”

“Louie Cameron is a selkie, and Debra Cameron is a siren,” he explained. “Making their daughter Vickie one hell of a strong supe.”

Steve sat there with this confused pout on his face. “Guards? Why would I need guards?”

“I don’t trust the Pack right now,” Wayne replied. “There is more going on in that pack then meets the eye and I can’t be everywhere. Especially with Jason causing trouble in town. Patrick tried to warn me early on that Jason would try something like this, but I wanted to believe that there was good in their somewhere.”

Steve’s expression shuttered to a blank mask. “What do I do?”

“Just start hanging out with me and the others outside of the compound,” Eddie said, squeezing Steve’s hand again and covering it with his other hand.

“Okay,” he breathed. They were right, as much as Nancy wanted him to further integrate into the Pack, he needed to be on the outside to see what was going on and understand it.

And he knew the best way to do it, but it was going to take a lot of convincing. But he was up for the job.

~

Notes:

oilipheists are sea monsters from Ireland.

Cameron is the last name I gave Vickie from season four.

And the SAT (a test to determine how well you've learned your lessons over the course of the year not the college one) thing happened to me. I was doing poorly in English because of the stupid correcting sentences for grammar and punctuation bullshit (there is a very good reason I use betas) but when the results came back I got top ten in the NATION for reading comprehension. My friend in the class who getting A's in that class was so mad it wasn't her that she legit stopped talking to me because she was that sure I cheated.

Tag List: FOURTEEN SLOTS REMAINING

Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @fullpoetrybread @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookworm0690 @littlewildflowerkitten @just-a-tiny-void @potato-of-the-lord @thelittleclare

5- @goosesister @tinyplanet95 @she-collects-smut @irregular-child @y4r3luv

6- @fairytalesreality @anaibis @papergrenade @ravenfrog @blondie1006 @dreamercec

7- @thedragonsaunt @sadisticaltarts @kultiras @blackpanzy @disrespectedgoatman

8- @kal-ology

[laurrelise]

saw your tua post about five i dont go here but i need to know did they pull an incest again. is that why everyones mad or did the ship just suck

ok so i’m assuming you’re talking about season 4!! i’ll leave this part very vague and spoiler free and if you don’t mind more specific spoilers (only about the ship, not about the actual end of the season) than check under the cut! :)

ok so not incest this time. the ship just reeeeeally sucks because it’s not only out of character but it ruined multiple arcs and relationships.

unhinged angry explanation of my least favorite part about season 4 below the cut!! (beware: yapping)

ok hi again! so five and lila get together. they fall for each other after they get stuck between timelines in this alternate dimension subway station thing, and they spend 7 years trying to find their way back home.

it turns out that lila was only doing it to survive because she needed something to hold onto while five, having been through this once before, had fallen head over heels for her.

he withholds information that can take them home for 6 months and lila is pissed and tells him it wasn’t real because she wants to get home to diego and her children, and five tells her that she knows she’s happier between timelines with him, blah blah blah it’s a whole thing.

five reluctantly goes back with lila and it’s really awkward and he’s pissed at diego (even though it was LITERALLY NEVER HIS FAULT) because lila is clearly still in love with him. they argue a little, lila gets between them, diego suspects something’s going on and asks, and then the truth unfolds and he’s (REASONABLY) heartbroken. it’s really sad to watch tbh

anyways then the end of the world starts to happen once again and i won’t go into specific spoilers for that because it would take WAY too long but basically five and diego are beating the shit out of each other and five literally outright says “i wanna fucking kill him” and lila tells him that it’s over between them and he goes and sulks because he was truly in love blah blah blah blah blah. anyways

it ends with five and diego hating each other. and it’s really fucking frustrating. and i really don’t mind what people ship for the most part, but this specific ship pissed me the fuck off because it should NOT have been canon. in my mind it still isn’t canon because this whole season sucked ass and i refuse to accept it as real.

you’re telling me five hargreeves, the man who survived for 45+ years with the single goal to save his family gave up on them after 7 years with the only other person around because he fell for her? why the hell was this necessary? why did the writers do this bro 😭 that is not the five i spent 3 seasons absolutely cherishing. i refuse to accept it

but also you’re telling me that the entire show ends with five hating diego and diego hating him?????? this entire season was SO out of character for the both of them but i STILL can’t get over (and will absolutely NEVER get over) that the writers really thought they could get away with the hargreeves despising each other like this. so pissed about this season omfg

so not only was the ship problematic for age differences on BOTH ends (fives body was 19 but lila’s was 36ish, probably older, while fives mind was 64 while she was AGAIN 36ish???? like how did they manage to make it pedophilic on both ends bro lmfao) (and do not even get me STARTED on the age differences of the actors and the fact that this has clearly been planned since aidan was a very young minor and the writers were waiting around for him to become 18 so it would be legal like fucking creeps) but it also involved cheating / homewrecking (with family no less) as well as multiple relationships ruined. i LOVED five and diego as a duo before. why the FUCK was this necessary *i scream from the rooftops*

anyways sorry for my chronic yapping, that is all.

i hate five x lila, have a good day.

[genesis-king]

Teen Wolf: The Movie released in 2023 should NOT exist and is an ABSOLUTE ATROCITY. Here’s why:

Not only was it absolute bullshit that Jeff Davis killed Derek the same way his family was killed, by burning him alive! But he also had Derek’s 15 year old son WATCH him die. JUST LIKE how Derek watched his family die from a fire when HE was 15!

Where the hell is Stiles, a key character to the series? So major of a character that when he didn’t appear in the beginning of season 6 of the original series, views decreased SIGNIFICANTLY. And when he returned in season 6 episode 11 (with Derek, might I add), views SKYROCKETED like crazy.

A majority of the movies plot points don’t line up with the original show. For example: Chris Argent and Isaac Lahey took the jar containing the Nogitsune with them when they went to France. So why is it on a shelf, let me repeat: a GOD DAMN SHELF, in Japan?! Another thing is that in the original show Derek (as an alpha) was able to survive a wolfsbane bullet wound for almost, if not, 24 hours. While in the movie Chris says Scott (also an alpha) only has a few hours to survive before the poison kills him.

Stiles would never abandon not only his Jeep, as stated in season 4 episode 1: The Dark Moon, but ALSO Scott and Lydia, his two best friends.

There’s so many other things that just don’t line up but it would take way too long to explain and that’s not the reason I’m posting this. The reason for this post is up next. So moving on…

Since Jeff Davis HAS decided to give us this movie with its OUTRAGEOUS plot line and BULLSHIT ending (no offense to Davis entirely, he did very good on the original series but he honestly should have left it there), I have decided (as I’m sure others have as well) that there needs to be a sequel to fix it. Here’s some of the things I think need to happen in said hypothetical and much needed sequel:

Eli’s the main character (not Scott McAsshole) and we learn who his other biological parent is (most likely Kate because even if everyone hates it, it would serve as a very interesting plot).

Stiles comes back because the show is absolute SHIT without him. AND he’s pissed about Scott & the pack not calling him for his help, resulting in Derek being DEAD! He’s also mad at Scott because he, an ALPHA, allowed one of his betas to SACRIFICE himself. In front of his KID no less! The TRAUMA the poor pup will have now. (Can’t there be ONE Hale generation that DOESN’T have life altering trauma and hogwash happen to them!)

Isaac should also return so we can see his reaction to Allison being resurrected and Derek being dead. His reaction is so important to me because when Allison died they were dating and Derek was his original alpha & took him in after his dad died.

In fact, since we’re bringing Stiles and Isaac back, let’s bring EVERYONE that was still alive at the end of the original series and were still part of the pack (or once was) back. Let’s have them make a major debut for an amazing kick ass battle against some new big bad. (Possibly “Captain America: Civil War” style. ✨SCOTT vs STILES✨ …That’s actually not a bad idea. I’ll post about that next, but first we got to continue with what else needs to happen.)

Derek isn’t ACTUALLY dead! Yay! He should be in bardo because 1: he’s a stubborn, self sacrificing pain in the ass who has been wronged in SO many ways. And 2: he has realized his mistake of sacrificing himself (while needed in the movie, it could have easily been prevented if Stiles was there) causing him to leave his son and outright REFUSES to fully die. PLUS, right before Derek died we saw his eyes turn RED, meaning that he is now a True Alpha. That changes a LOT of things! I don’t care if there’s no body and he can’t logically return to this plane of existence physically. He’s in bardo. Plain and simple. The show has already broken so many perceived supernatural rules, what’s one more?

Stiles has ✨magic✨ (as hinted on by Deaton saying he has a Spark MULTIPLE times throughout the series) and brings Derek back from being almost-dead-but-not-quite-dead.

And finally, what a MAJORITY of Teen Wolf fans (myself included 😌) have been waiting for *drumroll*: STEREK!!! FINALLY it happens! *jazz hands*

BOOM! DONE! STORY FIXED! Your welcome!

Feel free to comment what you think is wrong with the movie and what should be added to the hypothetical & desperately needed sequel.

Until next time…

~Peace,

Genesis. ✌️

[wwe-supernaturalxbands]

Grief

Emily Prentiss X F!Reader

Summary: Spencer had to tell Emily Prentiss' girlfriend that she had died. After, Emily is no longer dead and is trying to get back with her ex as if nothing happened.

Warnings: No happy ending, Emily Prentiss fake death, discussion of putting up babies for adoption, highkey JJ bashing,

Word Count: 1236

*Flashback*

Spencer and JJ walk into the coffee shop that Y/N, Emily's girlfriend, works. JJ looked uncomfortable but Spencer chalked it up to the guilt. They notice her working the cash register, her 6 month pregnancy showing. Her and Emily had decided after 4 years of dating, now was a good time to start their family and they had gone to the clinic and decided Y/N was going to carry the baby as she worked at a coffee shop and Emily could keep working in the BAU. They walked up the register and Y/N smiled at them, "hey guys! What can I get you?" "I'm sorry YN but Emily was killed by Doyle" JJ tells her, deciding to not beat around the bush. Y/N had known about Doyle, Emily had told her once they had been dating for 2 years. "No" is all she says but when she notices JJ refuses to look at her and Spencer is on the verge of crying she begins to cry. Sava, her coworker, quickly comes to her when she notices what's happening. "No" she repeats and she begins to cry and her knees buckle. Sava notices and grabs her as Y/N falls down and begins to cry and scream. The other worker, Dean, also comes to comfort her. Luckily it was a slow day and there was no customers inside. She continues to scream and cry, until it hurts and she's just quietly heaving, the baby kicking. "Water" Spencer asks, Dean going to get her some water. "We're very sorry Y/N" Spencer tells her and before he can hug her, JJ grabs his hand, "we have a case" is all she says and forces him to leave Y/N there, crying into the arms of her coworkers, as she realizes the other mother of her unborn baby and the love of her life has been killed.

** Now

It's been about a year since Emily had her death faked and now that they had defeated Doyle, she knew it was time to go find Y/N, the love of her life. She had continuously asked JJ for details, updates on Y/N and their little girl, but JJ was very vague and didn't really say anything useful. After returning and everyone finally forgiving, Prentiss could tell that the pentagon had changed JJ, and although she didn't notice while she was in Paris, now that they were face to face, she could tell the difference. She figured JJ didn't actually care about the relationship, so she decided to just go to Garcia's office. "Hey Pen, JJ said you're all still in contact with Y/N, does she still work at the coffee shop" Prentiss asked, getting worried when she notices Penelope's sad expression. "No, after JJ told her the news of your death, she told us to just give her space, let her grieve and when she was ready, she'd contact us. She still hasn't." Prentiss nodded and decided to take her lunch break and go to the coffee shop.

As she walks in, she notices it's a bit busy and hopes this isn't overwhelming. Before her death, Emily had bought a ring, to propose and she currently had it in her pocket. She gets in line, nervous about how the reunion may go, she understands Y/N may be mad but after she explains everything, she hopes they can get married and raise their daughter together. JJ never told her when the baby was born but Emily figured she's got to be about a year old now and is hopefully healthy. As the people in front of her pay and move, she looks and notices it's a different coworker than the ones she met before, "is Y/N working? I'm her girlfriend" Emily asks, not wanting to wait any longer. "Y/N's not dating" is all the woman says, Emily notices her nametag has the name 'Mirabel.' "It's a long story, can I please speak to her" Emily asks and pulls out her FBI badge, hoping to speed this up. As soon as Mirabel sees the badge she nods and walks into the kitchen area. After a few minutes she comes out, looking mad. "Ma'am I don't know who you think you are but Y/N said her girlfriend was killed last year" "It's a big misunderstanding, I'm her girlfriend" Emily tries to explain and before Mirabel can respond, Y/N comes out and gasps as she sees Emily. "Baby" Emily whispers and before she can try to get close to Y/N, Y/N looks mad. "Were you to much of a coward to break up with me? Is that why you had Jennifer and Spencer tell me you were killed." People turn to look at them, "baby can we please do this in private, I can explain" Emily tries again. Y/N stays still, anger still in her eyes. Sighing, Emily knows she has to explain here, in front of strangers. Just as she's about to explain she sees Sava, Y/N's coworker that has been there since before Emily had to leave. Sava looks confused but angry. "Doyle was after us baby, I knew I had to protect you and our little girl so I had to run. I had to get him as far away from you as possible. He got me and he did kill me but I was saved, I had to get surgery and before they could call you, Hotch and JJ had to explain what was going on and they faked my death, while I was still under from the surgery. I didn't know this was going to happen, but they made me go to Paris while they continued to search for Doyle. I continuously asked JJ for updates on my girls but she implied you didn't want anything to do with the team." Emily explains, upset that her girl would isolate herself. She notices Y/N go rigid and scoff. "Jennifer clearly didn't want me involved with the team, I tried reaching out, hoping to not mourn the love of my life alone but she told me to leave the team alone, that I would remind them of you too much, she even told me it'd be best for the team if I didn't go to your funeral. And so you know, when she told me you fucking died, I screamed, and I screamed until my lungs hurt to much to continue and Spencer and Jennifer just left me here, on the ground, as if I was just discarded trash" She says and before Emily can try to say something else, Y/N begins to walk away. Before she leaves Emily there, she says something else to break Em's heart and the ring sit heavy in her pocket. "I mourned the love of my life and it took me months to be able to slightly recover so if you think you can waltz back in here and we can go back to how we used to be, you're wrong. I don't want anything to do with you or your team anymore" "What about our daughter? Can I at least be in her life?" What Y/N said next, was what broke the camel's back in Emily's heart, "if you find her, you can ask. I don't know who adopted her when I gave her up" and finally walks back into the kitchen, Marisol awkwardly standing there and Sava standing in front of the door, ensuring Emily doesn't follow.

[barzfrommarz]

Why do I still love c!wilbur so much?

small essay type post to just gush about c!wilbur

One thing that always surprises me is why I stayed with c!wilbur

Before cc!wilbur even confirmed the allegations, I dropped him and lovejoy because it was becoming way too stressful and way more obvious it was him even though he had became a special interest and a huge part of my life

So why didnt I do the same with c!wilbur?

Better question, why couldn’t I?

Maybe it’s because back in March of 2022, my online friends had just stopped being friends with me a week prior. Specifically on March 17th 2022 (correct me if i’m wrong) the first stream that kick started the apology streams happened. I think that’s was what reignited my interest fully, since I had changed myself so much for my ex friends since they hated dsmp so much and it was basically my entire personality

It was also an outlet to interact with people, since these specific friends were my only friends at the time.

It was so nice to have a community of people who love the same thing I love. Making art, fanfiction, theories even songs. It was great and it was definitely one of the best times of my life (in the recent years)

The days leading up to the final were the greatest but also the most nerve wracking, esp since I wanted c!wilbur to have a good ending and basically not die

Waiting for the stream to start on Sept 3rd 2022 was so exciting, I remember sitting in offline chat just waiting for a fucking minecraft stream to start. Something I had never done

Now im not gna critique the ending in this post. I have my gripes with the apology tour in general but thats not what this post is about.

It was surprising to watch. Not what I had expected but it had its charm and I grew on it eventually. Going on twitter afterwards kinda sucked but it stopped eventually

The community was still going strong. Even if our favorite character is completely retired. The love and passion was still there, especially for me. It seemed like my love for c!wilbur just got more intense

After the dsmp ended and 2023 rolled around, thats when I noticed things kinda slowing down a bit. I know why of course. Loveshit was kicking off for William so its obvious why more people gradually moved on from the dsmp and fan content slowed down. Including me!

I wont go more into it but it was disappointing for me as someone who just couldn't move on from c!wilbur and the dsmp to see everyone on all the main platforms I used move on. Yeah tumblr was still active but I didn't use it as much back then

Then of course, the allegations came out

Im not proud of how I acted during the first night. You could say I was very very delusional and willing to make up excuses and drown out a victim all for some white guy I didn't know.

Thankfully, the next morning I came to my senses a bit and left, soon after joining everyone in just waiting for him to respond. Luckily I had some great mutuals on twitter and we were all there for eachother, even though I was the least affected since I was more mad at the fact I wasted years of my life on him than upset.

You all know how the story ends, he responded and everyone hated on him blah blah blah

but throughout all of that, I still stayed with c!wilbur. Not any other bursona. I cant engage with any of the other bursonas because they remind me too much of william, so why is c!wilbur different?

Well one obvious factor is my autism. C!Wilbur and the Dsmp is one of my biggest and longest lasting special interest so I dont think its going away for atleast 2-4 more years atp. Who knows maybe ill be 24 years old still yapping about a minecraft server that I liked when I was 11

I also think its because of the dsmp community on tumblr. Yeah the c!wilbur part has gotten understandably smarter but the people who have stayed are awesome and cool and so creative but most importantly strong

We have all been through it. From the allegations to the shit we get from outsiders for showing slight interest in c!wilbur and the dsmp in general.

I also see it as one massive fuck you to William. Taking his creation for ourselves then actively hating on him in the process. Shipping the ship he has gone on record to say its not canon is also pretty cool

So I guess I just want to say thank you. I could not have kept my interest alive if it wasn't for you guys continuing to create despite the creator being a degenerate. This stupid little character has single handedly kept my passion for creation and art going so strong. If you look through any of my recent sketchbooks most of the pages have him on it. I got into wrighting and reading fanfiction because of c!wilbur (and c!tntduo but we dont talk about the fanfictions ive read). My point is this character means alot to me so to all the remaining c!wilbur fans...

Thank you, truly

[betterthanu333]

⭐️ diary June/27/24

Day 4:

Officially ended my fast of 93 hours because I ate 1 scrambled egg (no butter or oil) with seaweed and had petite baby carrots with tzatziki dip. Kinda mad at myself but my mom was on my head 24/7 today but I gained her trust tonight bc I had proof that I ate so I don’t think she’s gonna ask my about what I eat anymore. She’s been telling me that I’m gonna die if I keep starving myself (I tell her that I’m not but i am kinda 😊) and that I look deathly and my eyes and face show how I’m so thin and that why do I want to be skinner than I am, that I already am as skinny as a twig. WHICH I’m not guys istg I’m 174cm and I’m about I think 63kg or 62kg. I had kinda thick thighs (no thigh gap 💔🙏🏽) and I do have a kinda flat stomach with the most beefiest and loose fattiest upper arms. I’m tryna have that vs or at least Pilates build body.

Anyways I had a cup of green tea so flush this shit outta my body and then I’m gonna pop a melatonin to get enough sleep to wake up tmrw at sunrise to go walk/jog. Oh and today I went for only 1 walk💔 but it was like an incline and then so many fucking steep stairs I almost fainted bro wait actually that might be my fucking asthma but fuck it. Omg this hot boy in like college I think he had a beard was walking with his dad. My brother and I passed then with the incline up( the walking and stairs lead to the beach but we were leaving) and his father stopped to talk to a security man while his hot ass son was waiting AND I FEEL LIKE THAT MF SAW ME FROM AFAR & WAS LIKE HOLD ON LEMME WAIT.

So I passed him and his father was still talking with the security about how they’ve been living here for 15 years, keep in mind this place is on the hills and has an ocean view and the houses are fucking amaze balls ( rich rich bby ) anyways I passed by and I cursed at life bc we had to tackle the 1000 STAIRS, bro when I tell u I was fucking heaving, it was so embarrassing I hand to grip onto the handles and take a minute while they fricking passed me. Keep in mind my younger brother did not give 2 shits about me and I kept telling him to wait up.

Sadly I do not have the endurance nor stamina I thought I had with inclines and stairs which I need to BUILD STAMINA FOR BC THATS THE SHIT THAT TONES U AND MAKES U LOSE WEIGHT BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE READY FIR THAT WHEN I EAT ZERO shit so for the love of god if u annies have any tips on how to control ur fucking breathing or at least have energy before a workout, Which I thought I had since I ate carrots and drank half of a WTR MLN WTR drink that has electrolytes and I walked out the door thinking I was swell IH FCK I JUST REMEBERED I HAD A MATCHA WITH VANILLA SYRUP TODAY BC I WENT TO A CAFE WITH MY MOM AND SISTER but I didn’t drink it all ohhhhh myyy gooodddddd guys I fucking hate myself today I ruined my diet and for what. I’m not gonna binge though bc I built the self control for that and I need to pushed off the deep end more than this in order for me to binge.

I burned 1,745 cals today. I need to get back on my 2,000+ grind like day 2 but I walked/cardio 2 times that day which I plan on doing tmrw. I did do a blogilates and workout (the one where she wears a turquoise set) but I only burned 83 cals which isn’t much but ugh anyways.

This was an especially long diary check in so pls tell me if I need to shut the fuck a bit more and summarize my day better… also emojis are fucking cringe but I use them so u guys understand my tone 👅

Goodnight annies

[shepherds-of-haven]

For the writing ask meme:

What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

What is your deepest joy about writing?

Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage. (i’m not picking one, just grab something that was fun to write!)

Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

-emeraldgreaves

What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

My writing ritual, up until around May, was like a little bit cursed: I'd typically write from 10 PM to around 4 or 5 AM, which is obviously not great. I'd also put on a show that was guaranteed to not distract me on extremely low volume (like 1 out of 100) in the background, so a show I'd seen a million times before, like the Office or Bob's Burgers.

Since coming back from a trip to Europe, though, I saw an opportunity to reset a schedule I'd kept to for the last 12 years and have now been rising and writing at a more appropriate time! Nowadays my writing ritual is going to the library, putting on fantasy or TTRPG orchestral music (particularly by Ivan Duch, who is composing the music for the game) in my earbuds, and clacking away! This ritual is only cursed in that some really weird shit happens sometimes at the library, but sometimes I get around that by reserving a study room for myself or me and my partner. 😌

What is your deepest joy about writing?

Hmmm, it seems cheap to say all of it! I think the satisfaction of completing a story that you've not only mapped out and plotted through, but actually executed, and then elicited strong emotional responses from others (hopefully as according to plan) as a result of all of that hard work is a truly joyful thing to experience. But just writing about the characters, exploring their psychology, and especially building their relationships to each other is also a huge part of it, and it's also a joy to explore and flesh out and create an entire new world for them to exist in... I just love all of it!

Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage. (i’m not picking one, just grab something that was fun to write!)

Around him, Scythia stirred to life beneath the skin-soaking warmth of early morning. It was just past dawn, so the heat of the day was not yet beating down on the city like a hammer against an anvil; but in an hour or two, it would edge close to brutal. Herald tipped his head back and let himself absorb the sights and sounds of the city while he still could. Long-necked white herons—called sword-birds for their vicious beaks—dueled together in lazy displays in the streets. Charcoal-eyed concurs beckoned him from curtained doorways, then caught sight of his own brand of ownership and looked away. There was the heavy, acrid scent of fuel and machine oil as he passed the Metal District, where mechanics in their garages toiled away on the racers and war rigs that crisscrossed the Badlands in choking clouds of dust. Underneath a shabby awning, a suntouched fortune-teller gave advice to a lean, restless merc with scarred shoulders and a face studded with fearsome metal rings.

This is from my current novel manuscript, which I keep telling people is like a cross between Mad Max and X-Men, but it's really evolved to become this more magical and intricate science fantasy, because I can't stay away from magic and humanoid/alien races and disparate cultures and, like, oppression and persecution, I guess. I really thought it was going to be a gritty dieselpunk adventure with machine guns and monster trucks and things, which it still has, but I think this passage (from the first chapter) kind of showcases its latest vibe, which is a bit more mystical and fantastical, as well. I've rewritten the first chapter at least five or six times, with this particular passage only being appended in the fourth or so iteration, so I think it's a good way of seeing (to me, the only one who read the first few drafts) how far the world has come, when the city and its environs weren't really described at all! I also just like the rhythm of the passage: there's something about it that feels satisfying. :)

Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

It's an absolute vital necessity to me. It actively bothers me when I see the Oxford comma not being used... I will always use the Oxford comma. You could pry it from my cold, dead hands and I'd still be using it on my gravestone!

[ivysangel]

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who was raging at the massive ass time skips in yj cuz the 5 year skip had me ready to knock out my own teeth!! I used to watch this show when I was in grade 6-8 and it first came out so revisiting it and seeing the skips had me ready to rage at what I missed out. That and a few other things as well like how we keep getting new characters that we see for an episode and maybe see like a season later or way later. But mostly the time skips cuz wow they really could’ve paced themselves and maybe stretched out the og yj team for another season or so before jumping ahead to when everyone’s in their 20’s and had dated half the team at that point but only making mentions of it.

Like in the later seasons when Rocket showed up I was asking myself who tf this was only cuz there were so many time skips and so many characters being introduced every 2 or so episodes. So when I realized who she was I was like oh shit, and then when she had a kid and a husband? Ex husband? Idk man I’m a kid of divorce so they looked like a divorced couple sharing custody of their kid. And the one second where it was mentioned that Rocket used to date Dick????? It was one single line and then it was back to talking about how Conner is probably still alive. But I was so confused and lost and so mad that we did have such a huge time skip between seasons cuz I like seeing the animated relationship drama! And honestly I’d take seeing anyone else’s relationship instead of Conner and M’gaan considering I started to dislike the pairing at the end of s1 and it’s just been downhill from there. I got so tired of Conner and M’gaan being pushed so hard in the last season I would’ve taken anything else since they’re not the only couple around. Maybe even an episode of that one dude from the wedding who didn’t find out until the wedding day that so many of his friends are members of the Justice league only because they thought he knew already cuz I would’ve loved to see how that went down

HELLOOOO????? i'm so sorry that this got lost in my inbox for almost two months nonnie 😭😭😭 i literally just can't keep up angel, please accept my apology!!!

i 10000% agree with everything you said. i fully believe that the time skips contributed to how little we saw certain characters because the skips occurred so often and with each skip new characters were introduced so i think that they couldn't keep up with their own show. ykwim? and the way i also couldn't recognize rocket when she showed up?? i was trying to use context clues or smth but they really left me hanging. i think i found out who she was through fucking wiki 😭.

i actually loved m'gann and conner during season 1, it was actually during season two that i was getting annoyed with their relationship because of that time jump. i think that i just really enjoyed seeing their relationship unfold and then boom. time jump. now she's dating a fish guy and also she's got a fuck ass bob.

god. they need to let me in that writers room so i can do seasons 2-4 over from scratch!!! like they fucked us over soooooo badddddd

[patrickerville]

Not sure if you're still answering asks about s11, but I just finished the series and it is such a beautiful work of art thats going to stay with me for a long time, thank you. I wanted to ask, im a big trekkie and I adored the little references. Near the end of episode 4 Kirsten is watching an episode from the original series that i recognized immediately and it blew my mind a bit at how deeply the episodes felt connected. Not just the audio clip played that references a synthetic flu or a similar troop of traveling Shakespeare performers, but the idea of this young person that is desperately trying to free her father from the burden of his past by any means necessary. What was the thought process behind referencing star trek and that episode specifically? I loved it so much

We had the good fortune to be making the show for Paramount, and therefore we always had access to those rights, so I knew while writing that a few references were probably going to come in handy.

Initially, when we worked in the Episode 6 script, there was a storyline about Kidsten’s time alone, in the year between separating from Jeevan and finding the the troupe. In that storyline, I had Young Kirsten doing a “Captain’s log” type thing in her head, but counting time in terms of the number of days it had been since the flu.

Because of that, I thought it would be good to see Kirsten watching Star Trek SOMEWHERE before that moment. We had already shot 107 and there weren’t a ton of opportunities there, so one reason we got the tv operational in 109 is so we could glimpse Kirsten watching an episode of Trek at the cabin. The moment turned out to be in the days she was alone, and ultimately grafted into the end of 104.

Once I knew she’d be watching Trek while waiting for Jeevan to come back, just before running outside and finding only the book, it came down to picking the specific episode. And that part was easy, given all the themes happening in the show.

Then, as these things happen, some money choices forced us to drop the entire 106 “Young Kirsten Alone” story. I had come to understand (by then) that we’d be okay without this stuff— for some reason in S11, just seeing the end moment (Kirsten walking off alone) and the beginning moment (The Conductor finding Kirsten) was usually enough to imply the lacuna… in this case, the horrifying story of Kirsten’s feral years.

But shooting 105 and 108 had helped me see that people could make the story leap me on their own if they saw the Point of Origin (the airport) and the Endpoint (the Y20 airport).

I maintain, despite the loss of the cool 106 young Kirsten story, that it really helps ground the graphic novel as a legitimate Sci-fi story when you know Kirsten also liked Trek. I’m personally a huge trek fan, and its “optimistic future” felt very much like the spirit of the show.

The only vestige you see of Kirsten’s internal “Captain’s log” is in 102, when she tells The Conductor that Dr. Eleven can’t feel time, and refers to Frank as her brother. This is the end of a mad conflation, in Kirsten’s head, of the graphic novel and her experiences in the wild.

The real loss of that story, I think, was that it served to show that Kirsten basically WAS a member of The Undersea before Tyler had created the cult— she, like all those kids she meets in 106, was living in a space where she couldn’t distinguish between reality and story, and also believed that all adults were deceitful and insane— all were Lonegans.

I think one thing Adult Kirsten is dealing with in the show, which is only in the subtext, is that she’s grown up now and she’s an adult… and she doesn’t trust adults. I think it would have helped Tyler’s story and helped us to understand why Kirsten related to Tyler to see that whole thing play out, but 🤷‍♂️. Sometimes you can’t shoot everything.

Long answer! Hope that helps.

[detectivereads]

Poppy Playtime thoughts and conspiracy theories

This post is for fan entertainment, I am not being paid.

Hi everyone,

While I’m waiting for news about the FNAF game Into the Pit, I thought I would try my hand about giving some thoughts on Poppy Playtime. I have watched playthroughs of other people playing Chapters 1-3 (so I am caught up with the main story of what’s happening with in the game.) But my friend and I started shooting out ideas about chapter 4 or just over all ideas for the end game with Prototype.

Now I haven’t really watched any game theory videos about Poppy Playtime, except the recap videos that some people do. So, I could be repeating things, or they might be far-fetched.

Conspiracy theories: Now these are just things that I have thought about I have no idea if they are true or not, but these are my thoughts.

My friend and I are both still untrusting of Poppy, we both think that she is using us (the player) to get rid of the Prototype so she can be top dog, since she couldn’t get rid of them on her own. But she does pose a threat to the Prototype, since is why she is locked in the case at the end of chapter 1.  Classic betrayal when we the player have beaten the Prototype she will come with classic nifty-shifty and stab us in the back (I mean she already kind of did that with the train). Or secretly she is trying to get to the prototype in order to help them, since the overall game (Chapter 3 shows this) That toys have little to no power (Hierarchy), that the Prototype can’t mimic a human, one of the escape attempts Prototype had try to do, they had to get a child (Theo) to help them. With failure of this escape the Prototype had learned they would have better luck with an adult. So, they need the real human in order to release the Prototype and other toys out in the world.

Could the Prototype be the good guy?  Prototype may have been trying to protect the rest of the toys in their own way, from Poppy or from themselves. Now I really haven’t thought this one through all the way, but maybe coming in to contact with Poppy or us, it is showing a more hostile side of the toys. Much like the red smoke in Chapter 3; Poppy’s scent could start making the toys a little more unhinge. Why else would they stay down in the factory for so long. Catnap could have got Prototype out after the Hour of Joy.

The Prototype could be the creator of Playtime Co. that maybe Elliot Ludwig was playing with some Frankenstein mad scientist stuff to transfer his mind into a toy? Why would the Prototype keep Poppy around if she was dangerous, they in some recess of their psyche could have emotional attachment to Poppy. (Would explain why Ludwig was reported to being seen at the factory at weird hours.)

Ollie is the Prototype, in some of the video tapes that we found out that Prototype can talk, or mimic human speech.  If Ollie is an actual kid, they would be like a young adult or teenager by this point since we, the player, are coming back to the Playtime Co. 10 years later. Maybe at one point in chapter 4 Poppy and Ollie are going to have a disagreement and a falling out. But if some how Ollie is a real child, and not a toy. How did they survive after 10 years of being in the building?

Questions:  This area is just for some questions that I have been thinking about, but I don’t really have theories yet.

What happens to the kids in the Play Care? From what I have watched in chapter 3 the Hour of Joy seemed spontaneous. I would like to think that the Prototype didn’t dispose of them like the workers. From what I have watched it seems that the kids are in the same boat as the toys, that I can’t really see them being a threat to the toys and Prototype.  Chapter 1 takes place 10 years later after the Hour of Joy.

There is still so much we don’t know, and I love games that give us such a fabulous story line and lot of loose ends to investigate.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 42 Pt 1: It’s All In Your Head

Every week with long covid is like a new batch of symptoms. Last month’s symptom, among other things, was “words no work no good,” and so we just uh...didn’t do an update. I probably needed to chill and nap anyway. Not that I’m fully better yet, today I did laundry and pulled out a blue shirt that I clearly own and bought with my own money--but I have no memory of it. Zilch.

The brain is amazing, that with this brain fog, I can’t remember my blue t-shirt, but I can remember Yugioh. Weird, right? So anyway, thanks for your patience in this weird time of my life, glad to have a blog to write about anime in that is so chill with our very long breaks.

Also, I finally went through my old caps to toss old pictures so that way I can make new stuff, and guess what I just realized?

Kisara is not a dragon!

Seto’s girlfriend isn’t a dragon! She’s just on top of the dragon, I can’t...I just can’t believe this.

Truly a crime that this season, the final ultimate season of Yugioh, is what I’m doing while on Long Covid fruitloops, so I can miss every damn point that this show fires at me. But, at least, I hope it’s funny to read. It is like every single update where I realize I was wrong about the obvious, and don’t worry, it’s gonna happen again in like 4 seconds. My borked brain.

Anyway, Yugi and Co have walked all the way to the palace. Because we’re still on S4 time and space conventions where Death Valley, the Grand Canyon, and San Fransisco are all next to each other. Like Yami fell in the Nile in a fight that was just outside of the city--but I assumed he got pulled way out there. Either way, it’s a kid’s show, never think about geography.

(read more under the cut)

Yugi can conveniently walk through doors now, and after a quick shoutout to his homie Yami, they phase through.

Including Tristan who is...

Well,

APPARENTLY TRISTAN WAS POSSESSED.

Freakin, my brain is a bunch of salad dressing, lmaoooo even last episode I was like “wow Tristan is drawn kinda evil and I don’t really get why” and it was RIGHT THERE. He’s been possessed probably since Bakura grabbed him by the neck right in front of me. I somehow missed this!

And like, I figure, if I try and wait out long covid it may take a whole other year, so like this is just me now. I started this blog as like a competent analysis (ish), and now I get to the end of S5 giving you just an incoherent rorschach. It’s kind of fitting for this show really, everyone has to end up at least a little bit of a mess. Keeps you humble. Even me. I also have to become the mess.

Anyway, speaking of becoming a babbling incoherent mess, we go back to Bakura, who has fully lost his game in Battle Basement of a 7 vs 1 game.

Only in Yugioh would they make a 7 vs 1 game feel evenly sided.

And as I wonder if I’ve already made that joke four months back and have forgotten, they all watch Bakura do a mad dash to screw them over one last time.

And while they stood there and just allowed Bakura to fumble around with the doom rocks made of human souls, from no where, Aknadin stumbles through the door all day drunk like freakin Kramer.

And no, in the show he did not reveal here that he was Seto’s dad, but he does in like 2 minutes so I didn’t really care about where I put it. The big thing is that Aknadin’s gone full-tilt cray and not even he can fully explain his motive anymore.

That’s when they realize Aknadin’s babysitter, Shada, has been punk’d on the bottom of skull tablet basement. Which like, Imagine the day that Shada’s been having. I guess Aknadin just left him at the base of like 10000 human skulls then, hahaha.

I have checked my notes and I decided that 2000 people died in Kul Elna a few months back but eh I don’t feel like changing this cap. Overall, I have no freakin idea how many people lived in this freakin town and they can’t tell us because 4Kids would never allow it.

Which is when Bakura decided to teleport his bean into another bean because this bean is broke.

Which is when we met this guy, a guy we’ve only met for like 4 seconds of the show so far. Hello there, Original Bakura.

Straight up, he wasn’t on screen long enough for me to over-analyze his accent before he was a small mound of dust on the floor.

Ah the death count! Oh damn it, I write these notes on the caps sometimes, expecting I’ll put an actual number there later but lets be real, I just need to publish this episode, so let me open the Google doc...

7,805,847,572

Yeah that’s how many people have died in this kids show so far. We’re right on track. Thanks Bakura, for another death, but no you have not caught up with Dartz. Although I will hand it to him, Dartz didn’t end up killing himself nearly as many times as Bakura has.

Speaking of dying and being dead on a kid’s show, in enters Shada.

So lets go see what Yugi’s up to hm? The four have decided to separate in this Egyptian palace to each find Yami’s name. Mind you...there’s some flaws with this plan.

The flaw being that none of them have graduated high school or know freakin anything about Egypt, other than they hang out with an Ex patriot Egyptian. (2 ex-patriots if you count Yugi’s Grandfather. Although honestly, are you an ex-pat if you are reborn in a kid’s body on the other side of the world? You are, right? You are). But, whether or not Yami can or can’t read Egyptian in Canonical Yugioh, we know that Yugi apparently super can’t when Yami isn’t in his bean.

And Joey just can’t focus for the life of him, which, damn, relatable. But, he did find a room full of women.

He also went to the only room with like lots of water. Real pissed focused mind here, and no the piss plotline will not be resolved.

Tea, still GOAT.

This castle, man. I love the complete disregard for interiors that this animation team has. Like...what even is the purpose of this weird maze room with masssssive stone tiles, Yugioh? Like...what is this even supposed to be? Why are the tiles so SHINY?

Anyway, lets go back to Shada and hear his excuse for what the hell happened last episode.

Which is when Aknadin decided to just start cursing everyone, which he would have done earlier if he wasn’t constantly in a sick bed this season.

This very well might be a yugioh card effect that turns you into a rainbow filter, but it also looks like a complete mess of artistic directions on the screen.

Which like, after that cutesy filter, lets pull our eyes out.

Which is when Yami makes the biggest logical leap known to man.

That’s right! Yami has figured out that this entire time, this entire arc, he’s been sleeping at this RPG table that Bakura’s built in his mom’s basement Yami’s Puzzle Necklace.

In fact, when Yami wakes up to all of this, wearing his normal ass school clothes, and Bakura sitting across from him in his popped collar duster jacket, Bakura says something on the line of “bout time you woke up.”

the fic shippers must have had a FIELD DAY with one.

Anyway, everything is a lie, Bakura is controlling people like puzzle pieces, which not only explains why Aknadin’s motives went a 180, but can lead us to believe that Yami also COULD control everyone else, but just chooses not to. Just like he does in real life.

I think, overall, you just have to go with it. We’re playing D+D, except it’s about your embarrassing past. Like if you made D+D about your middle school experience and you can’t remember your first name.

What a way to die, really. What a weird ass way for Yami to almost die.

Anyway, here’s a link for those new here to read these from the beginning. I have the 2nd part already drafted up, should be up in a few days and not an entire month, haha. Hope your 2023 is looking up!

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[spiced-wine-fic]

Two Asks, Two Answers

Thank you so much @naryaflame and @thenookienostradamus 🤗

1.Three ships? 

@naryaflameI see your Vanessa/Mina from Penny Dreadful and I’d like to propose Vanessa/Catriona (who should have been in the series more or entered it earlier). 

Also, moving outside the Tolkien fandom once more:

Deth and Morgon from the Riddle Master Trilogy by  Patricia McKillip and 

Anomander Rake and Silchas Ruin from the Malazan Book of the Fallen. 

2. First ever ship?   

Due to the chronological order of reading, Fëanor and Fingolfin in the Silmarillion. 

3. Last song? 

 Freed from Desire by Gala on Heart Dance. 

4. Last movie? 

I’ve not watched a movie in years. I tend to watch series.

5. Currently reading? 

A Writers World, by Jan Morris. 

6. Currently watching? 

I’m in between series and think it’s going to be Heaven’s Official Blessing on Netflix. 

7. Currently consuming? 

Coffee

8. Currently craving?

An end to winter ❄️ ____________________________________________________

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

After a Welsh actress. 

2. When was the last time you cried?

I am always tearing up, because I’m still grieving for my mum and Billy-dog. Sometimes things just hit you in the gut all over again. 

3. Do you have kids?

Child free by choice.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only if I’m jesting with my partner or a friend.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes and then what comes across from them, their vibe I suppose. 

6. What’s your eye colour?

Hazel.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Something in the middle? The end of Lord of the Rings isn’t exactly happy, in either book or film but it is fulfilling. 

8. Any special talents?

No. Yes! I’ve got an effing target on my head saying ‘Gullible.’ 

9. Where were you born?

Oxfordshire, UK (It was Berkshire then, before they changed the county boundaries). 

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, walking, a bit of gym, researching anything that sounds interesting. 

11. Have you any pets?

Not since losing dear old Billy in ‘21. He was a collie cross and 17 when we had to have him put to sleep. 

12. What sports do you play/have played?

It was mainly horse riding for me and horse shows most of the summer weekends. From Easter to September there was pretty much a show every weekend. 

13. How tall are you?

5’ 5”

14. Favorite subject in school?

English lit.

15. Dream job?

I’d have to go with stay at home fic writer too @thenookienostradamus 😆

tagging @soothingmoonlight @nuredhel @lucifers-cuvette @elfscribe @swanfloatieknight @thenookienostradamus @thegentlestmaenad @awesome-bluehair-universe @cuarthol @erynalasse @mad-hermit @silmarillionno @antares0606 @gellalaer @nocompromise-noregrets @skyeventide @cycas @morgulscribe @idrilsscribe @thisshadowprevails @ettelene @raisingcain-onceagain That’s more than 15 and my coffee break’s over so also anyone who sees this and wants too do it 🙏🏼

[thelovelybitten]

vera talks mlb: the movie — thoughts and drabbles

I cant even breathe rn, I watched the movie 4 hours ago and here’s my (now) settled thoughts about it.

picture of how I felt in that moment:

warning: spoilers for the MLB movie :DDD

so I have been a fan of this show since it came out, god I was FUCKING 16 then and now I’m 24 jfc…. it’s so wild how much time has passed.

now, the main show was SO good until season 4. I stopped watching the show all together because of how messy the plot was, Gabriel being the biggest pos known to man & how stalkerish they made Marinette (not to mention totally delulu and borderline insane (though, with all due respect, its a lot for a 15? 16 year old ???) but they could have written it better imo.)

not only Marinette but Adrien still being a small minor role (it’s always ladybug doing the damn thing but chat noir is left doing nothing it’s fucking sad he deserves so much better) and him just being shit on the last 3 seasons. he deserves more screentime and character development.

I also couldn’t handle adrien being a senti-monster, but we ain’t gonna talk abt that.

so I left the fandom all together.

but this movie. this. god. damn. movie.

this is HOW THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN THE FIRST PLACE. the character development with Marinette and Adrien is AMAZING and feels more realistic to me— they really drive on how unlucky Marinette is and how lucky adrien is (to an extent for adrien, but I digress). and the whole library scene made me giggle it was so cute. Marinette being infatuated but not a stalker was nice to see.

movie ladybug & chat noir sparked my feelings for the fandom all together. how cocky chat noir is, ladybug being anxious to fail but finding solace with chat made my heart all warm. every scene they had together I was kicking my feet and screaming like a child. (they own me, lol)

I have to specifically mention THE FUCKING FIGHT SCENE WHERE CHAT NOIR HAS LADYBUG PINNED TO THE WALL BC WHEN IT HAPPENED I HAD TO PAUSE, LEARN HOW TO BREATHE AGAIN, COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND CONTINUE. THE PURE TENSION IN THAT MOMENT. “I really should go home now.” “don’t” DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME ?!?!?! GOD IM STILL SCREAMING ABT IT 😭😭😭 they had electric hearts babe DONT EVEN LIE

their chemistry in the film just. made me feel things. they have an amazing dynamic and it was utilized. i wish it was more prevalent in the show series—the banter was everything.

I definitely was caught off guard when cristina wasn’t singing, but I got used to it

master fu was also super good too !! I defo prefer him in the show but movie fu slayed

chloe being chloe but not overdoing it made me :)))).

even alya and nino were written exceptionally.

tikki was written well, loved her, but plagg made me give him the side eye… where is his annoying ass. he can make fart jokes but please keep his sly demeanour.

gabriel was extremely well written, might just be the best character that was re-vamped imo. his storyline made sense and it wasn’t completely heartless…. using the miraculous and him slowly getting weaker and weaker made so much sense. (the musical number tho, SO FUNNY)—but god, when he found out chat noir was adrien he stopped. stopped everything. he loves his son so much, just as much as he loves emilie. we’ll see where the potential next movie goes with him, but lord his character is what I wish show gabriel was like.

the end scene at the ball made my jaw DROP. marinette looked amazing in her dress oh my god— and then the almost kiss I was MAD but also happy bc after that it opened the door for a sequel so ILL TAKE IT.

also when marinette takes off adrien’s mask and puts it on was so fucking cute 😭 the atmosphere was all warm and wholesome.

also giving props to chloe because her gold dress ate down.

sabine gave me helen parr vibes and i don’t know why.

tom being the overprotective dad 😭

anyways, i probably missed some things

but this movie, in my opinion, ate the show for breakfast and became the meal i’ve wanted for several years. MOVIE IS 1000x better than the show series and i stand by that statement forever.

if you haven’t seen it, watch it immediately.

[1lostone]

Author interview

@myulalie tagged me and I’m pretty excited to do this.

1. How many works do you have on ao3:

219 I think a good bit of those are probably podfic, but I’m not mad about it. 

2. What's my total ao3 wc:

2,277,720. This is due to my need to write ridiculous wordmonsters.  

3. What are my top 5 fics by kudos:

Some of these are pretty old. Maybe I’m past my prime. :D 

Hey There Little Red (Teen Wolf)

Love The One You’re With (Star Trek AOS)

Nowhere Man (Teen Wolf) 

Five Times Stiles Needed A Crash Course On Wolfy Behavior And The One Time He Figured Shit Out. (Teen Wolf)

What The Moon Showed Me (Teen Wolf)

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, always!  But sometimes it takes me awhile to remember. I tend to save them up and do a whole group at once. 

5. What fic has the angstiest ending?

Um. I’m not sure. Probably Little Lion Man- but it’s more ambiguous than angsty.  Still, my friend said she wanted to slap the green off Spock's cheeks, so ...

6. What fic has the happiest ending?

Weirdly, I think it’s It ain't easy to get to heaven (When you're goin' down) - the one I wrote about Aaron and Jesus from TWD.  I made them work for their happy ending. 

7. Do you write crossovers?

Sure. I write just about anything. 

8. Have you received hate on ao3?

Of course. Who hasn’t. 

9. Do you write smut?

Yep.

10. Have you had a fic get stolen?

YES AND I HATE IT A LOT.

11. Have you had a fic get translated?

Yes! 

12. Have you co-written a fic?

Sort of. The intentions were good and we decided it was best if we just stick to our own lanes :D 

13. What's your fav ship?

Lord.  I dip between ships like crazy. I don’t know if I have a favorite per se. 

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but never will?

SPICE. (I WILL FINISH I WILL!) 

15. What are my writing strengths?

Honestly, I’ve been so burnt out on writing lately I don’t know. I think I can tell a good story, and I’m good at resolving angst.  I think that's why I'm clinging to podficcing- I can still be a part of fandom, but idk. I need my writing mojo back.

16. What are my writing weaknesses?

It can take me 809012 words to describe a sneeze. I can also take myself too seriously. 

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on ao3?

I have done it, but only with much help and handholding from people who actually speak that language. My 10 years of French 30 years ago would only annoy a native speaker. 

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Files and CSI. I can’t remember which was first, it was a whole hot minute ago. 

19. What fandom/ship have you not written but want to?

UM. There are so many.  I’ve been in the Good Omens fandom since the book came out IN THE NINETIES but have never been brave enough to write anything. Maybe I can this year. . . 

20. What's your fav fic you've written?

Hmm.  It’s hard to pick one. Probably a tossup between Weep, Little Lionman, and in the bed where you lie. 

I’m always hesitant to tag people, but if any mutuals do this, tag me so I know you took it on!