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#it’s all i ever really think about and i don’t know how to be normal about it or have normal relationships
eddiethebrave · 14 hours
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secret admirer part twenty-two
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Eddie do you ever think about what you’re gonna do after high school? like how am i expected to know what i want to do with my life? i mean, i have another year to think about it but not that much can change in a year you probably wanna do something with music, right? make it big with your band and have people screaming your songs i’d go to every show if i could be your own personal groupie who knows? maybe that’s my calling p.s. have a good time at hellfire tonight i hope you win !!!!! -H
You’d think the win last night would put him in high spirits, and it did. At first. He celebrated with the guys, passed on the get together someone suggested, and drove home feeling proud. It was when he was laying in bed, though, that he started thinking. When he graduates, how often will he be able to ride a high like that? From pure accomplishment?
Steve puts on a brave face for morning practice. He doesn’t wanna drag anyone down with him. He goes through the motions of accepting congratulations and pats on the back from his peers and teachers alike all morning long. 
It only makes him think, though. 
Seriously, what comes after this? More school? Does he accept that internship at his father’s soul sucking company? Does he get a gob and jump right into adulthood?
What it really comes down to is the fact that Steve had never thought he’d have a future. Honestly. He’s getting closer and closer everyday to the next stage in his life, though. The years snuck up on him and now he has to deal with it. 
On a lesser scale, Steve doesn’t like thinking about what life will be like once Eddie graduates this coming May. How is Steve meant to tolerate this hellhole without him? Sure, he’d gone years without really noticing him, but now that he knows what it’s like to have a taste of him in his life, he doesn’t think he could go back. 
The whole thing makes his pulse quicken and sweat begin to bead at his hairline. By the time he makes it to art class, there’s a tension forming at his temples and he’s not looking forward to the headache. He doesn’t think he has it in him to act like everything’s normal. 
For once, Carol doesn’t acknowledge his foul mood. She’s too busy staring at Robin. For the portrait, of course. 
The teacher had informed them today the class is basically a free period and they can choose what to work on or what to not work on. 
Steve sits slumped over the table with his head resting on his folded arms. He kind of wishes Eddie hadn’t put the divider up and also that he had his sunglasses so he could stare at him without feeling weird about it. 
Instead, he rests his eyes and tunes into the sounds of pencil on paper surrounding him. He dozes for a while and has nearly fallen asleep when he’s awoken with a poke to his cheek. 
Steve peels his eyes open, but no one seems to be wanting his attention. There is, however, a piece of paper placed next to his left arm. 
It’s a drawing. 
A stick figure with tall swoopy hair and eerily realistic eyes. 
Steve looks to his left, only to find the culprit still hard at work with his face tucked behind the divider. 
Steve visually fills in the blank and surmises Eddie’s smile probably matches his own. 
Steve doesn’t dare fold the paper. He tucks it into the notebook he has to keep it safe. Throughout the rest of the day, he opens the book just to look at it. When he takes it home, he tapes it to a wall in his bedroom, somewhere he can always see it. 
Eddie did i ever tell you how sweet it is that your club has matching tees? i haven’t seen anyone who doesn’t do sports or the school band have a uniform but it makes sense that other clubs would, too you look good in black, don’t get me wrong, but GOD i thought i was gonna die the first time i saw yours so thanks for that also, while we’re on the subject of how hot you are,  you should wear your hair up more often p.s. sorry about the existential crisis on friday i wasn’t doing too good but i got a pick-me-up eventually <3 -H
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sencrose · 12 hours
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— READING BETWEEN THE LINES
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pairing: suguru geto x f!reader
tags: dc, noncon, fingering, forced orgasm, pwp, use of pet names (sweetheart), suguru being condescending lol
wc: 1.4k
summary: Breaking up with Suguru doesn't go as well as you had hoped.
a/n: idk what possessed me ngl! writing warmup that got out of hand ig lol. dividers by @/adornedwithlight! ao3 link here.
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This is always the worst part, the anticipation of the unknown. You dragged Suguru into a private corner of the monastery, stating that you needed to talk to him about something important. Part of you hopes he won’t notice that something is clouding your mind, but another part of you knows how perceptive he can be – of shifting eyes, a nervous shake of the leg. Anything he sees can be interpreted and used against you. It’s just too much for you, to constantly live under his judgment and surveillance.
Once inside the room, you ask Suguru to sit down in an armchair in the corner, because when he’s at a lower height you can convince yourself he’s not nearly as intimidating as he actually is. He almost looks normal when you look down at him. But then his amber eyes catch yours, and you feel like a deer in headlights.
Breath, hold, let it out slowly.
“I think we should see other people,” you say, nearly hushed.
Suguru takes a moment to pause, before looking up at you with a smile. It’s not the reaction you wanted.
“You think?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice, “you wouldn’t do all of this to tell me you’re thinking of doing something.”
He’s right; you don’t like that. It only makes you uneasier, inhale shakily and exhale just as unstable.
“We should see other people,” you sigh, a knot tightening in your chest. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, opting to stare down at the ornate patterns on the carpet, anywhere but him.
“Where’s your spirit?” he asks, pouting and high-pitched, as if he’s talking down to a child, “you sound horribly unconvincing.”
You were foolish to ever think you would have an advantage against Suguru in a war of words. He’s always a few steps ahead of you, quick to retort any thought that takes days for you to mold and craft. Still, you do your best. This would be the last time anyways.
“W-we should see other people,” you repeat, attempting to sound resolute only for your voice to betray you, wavering like a tree branch in a windstorm.
“We both see plenty of people here,” he says, leaning back into the chair to sink into the fabric, his posture even more relaxed than before, “I don’t see why you dragged me in here to say this.”
For the first time, frustration overwhelms your nerves, swirls in your chest and manifests into something loud and impulsive.
“Suguru, I’m breaking up with you,” you blurt out. 
An uneasy silence permeates through the room, and you feel the need to smother it. Unfortunately, any semblance of a coherent thought, much less a sentence, eludes you.
“Tell me what you really want.” Suguru says, the first to break it. You start to think the silence was better.
“I am.”
“No, you aren’t. I know you aren’t,” he says so matter-of-factly you’re close to believing him, “say it again.” Suguru shifts in the seat until he’s leaning forward, hands intertwined and planted in his lap.
“N-No, you’re just messing with me,” you say, backing away from him.
“That should be my line,” he sighs, standing from his seat. He takes a step towards you and your heart trembles. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just-”
“Nothing’s wrong but you want to break up?” he interrupts, crossing his arms as he glares at you.
“No, I mean-” you fumble your words, unsure how to mitigate the situation. Suguru takes another step towards you, and you take another one back.
“Mean what?” The corners of his lips upturn, and you both know he has you cornered.
You stand there, finally at a loss for words. Even if you were able to articulate your thoughts, you know that Suguru would twist them in his favor. 
“See? You don’t even know what you want,” he says, condescension dripping from his words before he softens his tone into something gentler. The way you would speak to a wounded animal. “But it’s okay, because I do.”
Suguru takes the opportunity to close the distance, taking your hand into his and pulling you into a kiss. His lips crash into yours and you writhe under his touch, desperately pushing him away. But all you get is an arm latched around your waist, the sensation of your bodies pressed together in a suffocating heat. His lips finally part from yours, and you rush to turn your face away from his.
“Suguru, please stop,” you whimper.
“Why? You’ll just lie again,” he answers, his hand reaching for your chin to turn you towards him, “don’t you know how much that hurts me?” he asks, voice too sweet to be genuine.
You do your best to keep your eyes away from him, the only form of protest you can afford right now. He’s unphased by it, releasing his grip on your chin to lift the hem of your skirt and trace the undeniable wet spot on your underwear.
“And it seems like your body is more honest than your words,” he whispers dangerously low in your ear, as if it’s a dirty secret he had the privilege of uncovering. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction but you don’t have much of a choice. 
He pulls your underwear down, lets it fall unceremoniously onto the floor. Before long, his fingers find your clit and you wince at the contact. You bite down on your lips when he starts drawing lazy circles, not wanting to give him any more ammunition to use against you. 
“You don’t actually want to leave, do you?” he whispers sweetly, and it makes your breath catch for all the wrong reasons. His fingers slowly but surely pick up the pace, and it gets harder to choke back your moans. You attempt to maneuver yourself away from his touch, but that only makes him press himself harder against you, tightening his grip against your waist. 
“You’re just misbehaving because I haven’t given you enough attention, right? Then I’ll give you all the attention you want.”
“Suguru, please, I don’t want this,” you cry, and it’s nowhere close to convincing, too high-pitched and whiny.
“We’ve got to work on your communication skills, sweetheart. They’re a hallmark of a good relationship, you know. And I only want the best with you,” he coos, almost songlike. His fingers build up to a steady pace and you feel your muscles involuntarily tighten, prepare yourself for the climax to come. 
“We can even try it now. Tell me, how does this feel?” He slips a finger in and you writhe under his grip.
“Suguru, stop!” you squeal, tears forming in your eyes, making the colors of the room blend and blur together. 
“Don’t think that’s the right answer,” he says in that patronizing tone again, and you can hear the pout in his voice. As punishment he slips in another finger, and within moments he’s bullying the spot that has you crying from pleasure like he’s done so many times before. Your fingers grip around his arm, nails digging into his skin and leaving crescent indents in his skin, but Suguru is nothing if not determined.
“I just don’t see why you’d want to leave when I do all of this for you.” The arm around your waist finally releases, only for his other hand to trace the curves of your body until it reaches your clit. He starts building the pressure again, slow circles to contrast against the rapid pace of his fingers.
Your breathing destabilizes as your muscles tense up again against your will. You know you’re getting close, which means Suguru knows as well. 
“Let it all out for me, sweetheart,” And you do, body shivering and walls clamping around his finger like a vice. The rush of heat and pleasure running through you is too much, and you fall back onto old habits, closing your eyes and moaning his name like a mantra as he guides you through your climax. Suguru only pulls himself out of you once your breathing stabilizes, when you finally come out of your postorgasmic daze and the tears start running down your cheeks.
He gently holds your face, rubbing the tears with his thumb before laying a soft kiss on your cheek.
“If this is what you wanted, you should’ve told me. Spare me the theatrics next time, okay?”
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qveerthe0ry · 3 days
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What Means to You, What Means to Me
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Summary: Max Phillips changes everything. Written for @perotovar 's offering of Frith Word Count: 8,046 Pairing: Max Phillips Loki (The Trickster God of mischief and chaos) x afab! NB! Bisexual! Reader Rating: 18+ mdni Warnings: smut, talks about gender non-conformity, talks about gender dysphoria as it relates to sex, GENERAL GENDER FUCKERY Beta: My sweet angel @for-a-longlongtime of course A/N: Under the cut
Author's Note: First of all, I just want to thank Erin for putting together this writing challenge and sharing SO much about Norse Paganism. The effort you put into this, from the moodboards to educational resources is incredible. And the fact that you've shared something so close to you with all of us made this writing challenge feel like getting a warm hug <3
Second, see the author's note I wrote at the end (as to not spoil the story) if you want to know the ways Loki ingrained himself in this fic.
_
You’ve heard of this queer club before, but you’ve never been inside. You’d thought the descriptors were exaggerations, but you find out quickly that you were wrong. 
Security is tight at the door, and they ask you questions as they scan your ID that sound like small talk but are a bit more probing once you think about it. Your pockets are patted down and you walk through a metal detector before you even breach the front door. 
You’re wondering if it’s even worth all this. You’re by yourself, no one’s meeting you here, and you don’t plan on going home with anyone. 
Really, you’re just bored, in a fairly new city with no one familiar but your new co-workers to converse with; those are the last people you want to be around on a Friday night after a long work week. 
So you’re here. Are there a dozen other queer bars you could have gone to on this rainbow-lined street? Yes. But none of them really feel right. So you’re here, finally in clothes that you feel comfortable in, around people who aren’t going to make you feel uncomfortable in them. 
And its reputation precedes itself. 
Gaudy. Over-the-top. 
There’s three floors, the top two cut out to overlook the dance floor in the middle of the ground level. There’s chandeliers everywhere, far too ornate for a fucking nightclub. Candelabras litter every tabletop with flaming wax that you’re sure is a fire hazard in an establishment like this. There’s fuzzy, cozy-looking lounges and really hot people walking around serving complimentary waters on gold trays and maybe it was a mistake, coming here. 
But you’ve already been through the TSA of nightclubs, and so you might as well grab a drink while you’re here and make the uber ride home worth it. 
At least the drinks seem to be cheap. You take too long staring at the specialty cocktail names when a bartender asks how you’re doing, and end up ordering your favorite drink anyways. At least they seem nice, unlike some of the bars you’ve been to at the not-mandatory-but-suggestively-obligatory happy hours after work. 
You sit at the bar, a little intimidated by the fancy decor and skilled dancers that overwhelm the club. 
The music is unsuspecting, something soft and melodic that you only realize is live music when your eyes settle on her. 
Her fiery red hair cascades down her shoulders, igniting all the skin exposed by her backless dress. She’s sitting at the piano in the middle of the dancefloor, obscured by couples and others dancing around her. 
She’s everything. The most gorgeous woman you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Her nose is strong and her jawline juts and contrasts with those soft brown eyes. You’re yearning before you can even realize it, a kind of consumption that leaves you breathing heavier than normal as you sip your drink probably way too quickly. 
You focus on her long, nimble fingers, painted red at the nails and fluttering so skillfully over the ivory keys that it makes your cheeks feel hot. 
The ringing of the keys doesn't register over the thumping of your heart and the blood rushing in your ears, which feel like molten lava. Perhaps that’s why you don’t notice she’d finished her set until she’s a foot away from you, placing an order you’d only know if you were able to read lips.
Christ, her lips. Plump and painted in the same shade of red as her hair and nails, they purse as she sips from a champagne flute. She’s so dainty, and poised, everything you’ve never had the desire to be. 
And she’s staring right at you. 
“See something you like?” 
Your breath gets stuck in your lungs and your heart flutters in a medically dangerous way. 
“You’re incredible.”
The words roll off your tongue without any go-ahead from your brain. 
She laughs anyway, with her head thrown back, and the sight of her throat elongated makes your own go bone-dry. 
“If I had a nickel,” she jokes with a wink. 
Your half-melted brain scrabbles for something to say so you can be graced with her presence for even one more second. 
“How long have you been playing?” 
She quirks her perfectly shaped eyebrow at you, and she smirks, and something about the way she can see through you like cellophane turns you on and it makes you feel wicked. 
“You don’t really care, do you?” 
From your peripheral, you see her long, toned arm inching closer to yours on the bar. Her fingers touch yours, feather-light, and you shiver before you freeze in place. 
“I— No, I do.”
You can barely hear her low chuckle over the house music that’s started to play in her absence, but you do, and it sounds like heaven and hell all at once. 
Slowly, torturously, she leans closer to you, and her bubbly breath ghosts across your cheek, your jaw, and then gusts in your ear. 
“Don’t lie to me, handsome.” 
Her tone is teasing, sing-songy in a way that might be annoying if you weren’t so aroused. 
Your fingers clench around the glass you’re holding, and her own do the same over yours. 
“What do you want me to say?” 
You don’t know if you’re more scared, horny, or irritated. They’re all three tied for gold, at this point, with tipsy coming in second and way too warm bringing up the rear. 
And the pure audacity this woman has is impressive, as she places her lips so so lightly under your earlobe. You hope to god her lipstick stains. 
“Ask me if I wanna get out of here.”
Your lungs inflate too quickly, and your eyes close, and you lean into the touch of her lips. 
“Where would we go?” 
It’s a stupid question. Why in your right mind do you give a flying fuck? She could drag you to the DMV and you’d happily follow like a pup. 
She stands from the barstool, tall, taller than you realized, and the proximity puts her between your spread legs. 
Your thighs flex involuntarily, and your fingers twitch and ache to touch her. 
“I know a place. If you want?” 
Her eyebrow is quirked at you again as she leans back. You can’t find your words, so you stand in answer, and now you’re too close. Every delicious curve of her body is pressed against your front and you unhand your drink to dig your nails into the top of the bar. 
“Please.” 
Her grin is so mischievous that it startles you, those sharp canines on full display. You think about how they’ll feel against your skin as she nods her head and prompts you to follow her. 
You might as well be wearing a leash, the way you trail her so closely. You twist your fingers as the nerves start to pick back up, and all of a sudden you’re in front of some elevator doors with a very huge and intimidating bouncer guarding the buttons and staring you down. 
“Before we head up, just so you know, I’m working with a… different set of equipment than you might expect.”
You nearly ask her to repeat herself, a bit too overwhelmed with the eyes on you and the situation you’re about to get yourself into. But your brain plays a game of catch-up, and somehow this little fact makes you feel more comfortable. 
“That’s cool— me too. I mean, maybe? I don’t know what— uh, what you’d expect me to have, but… yeah.”
Your voice trails off as the big burly bouncer chuckles at you, and your face could probably melt off of your skull with how hot it feels, but then she grabs your hand and squeezes to tug you into the elevator with her. 
The club sounds are nearly all drowned out now, and you’re certain she can hear your heartbeat in the silence as she crowds you against the back wall. 
“My name’s Max,” she says, speaking all breathy and low against the skin of your neck. 
You shiver, barely eke out your own name as her body presses against yours. 
It’s heavenly, the way she feels against you, but the way she teases your earlobe between her dark cherry lips feels hellish. You still haven’t touched her, even though your hands are burning to feel the silk of her dress over her waist. You’re intimidated and horny and mentally working yourself up to do anything on your own without her giving you direct orders.
There’s a ding, and all momentum is lost when she turns away from you to enter the snow globe of a penthouse beyond the open elevator doors. You follow eagerly.
“This is your place?” 
Your voice is awe-filled as you look around. The walls are just windows, and the city lights and the last few minutes of sunset brighten all the dark wood and leather around you. 
“Yeah, so’s the club.”
Her tone is nonchalant, and you gape at her as she steps out of her strappy, expensive-looking high heels. Maybe you shouldn’t be so surprised. She has all the confidence of someone who owns the world, and her cockiness is reflected in the ostentatious nature of the club and her penthouse. 
But you’re still shocked. Maybe you’re shocked because she’s chosen you, out of every other patron, to come up here with her. 
“It’s nice— the club. And here, too.” 
She chuckles and shrugs but she thanks you as her bare feet bring her close to you once more. You feel your hackles raise as she approaches, along with your heart rate, but she walks right past you. 
“Follow me.”
As if you’d dream of doing anything else. 
Her bedroom is all windows, too. The bed is huge, much bigger than a normal king, and the space itself is fairly empty of any personal touches. It suits her mystique. You feel like you have a million unanswered questions, but none of them matter when she shoves you down onto the mattress and straddles your thighs. 
Your mouth drops open, but she steals the words from your breath when she grabs your hands and places them on her hips.
Finally. 
Fuck, she feels incredible under this silky dress as you squeeze her waist and arch your hips up into her. 
You tell her as much, and get another one of those cocky chuckles that goes straight to your center. 
“Do your worst, handsome.” 
And maybe you’ve never been the best at getting into someone’s bed, but you’re certain you’re the best once you’re between the sheets. 
It’s no exception, with her. You’re so eager to please. You worship every last inch of her body once it’s revealed to you. You take note of all the places you kiss and lick that make her breath hitch, you tease her until her cock weeps, and you take her so far down your throat that tears sting your eyes. 
Her nails dig into your scalp, and you feel like the cocky one when she begs you to pull off, when she tells you that you’ve damn near sucked her soul out through her dick. 
Your clit is throbbing and you’ve soaked through your underwear by the time she hastily pulls them off of you. She kisses you breathless and bites your lip with her sharp teeth as you roll the condom down her length. The way she whimpers when you finally straddle her sends you reeling. Your hand finds her tit, and your palm rolls against her taut nipple as you finally get her cock to slide through your slick folds. She arches into your touch and she begs and there’s no force powerful enough to keep you from giving in to her pleas.
Her face twists up so fucking beautifully as you impale yourself on her. Inch by inch, so slowly, teasing her like she’d teased you earlier in the night. You feel satisfied and hungry at the same time when you’re flush with her thighs. Her hips buck when you pinch her nipple, and she hits the perfect spot, and neither of you have any resolve leftover. 
It’s a give and take that lasts too long and is over far too quick. You ride her, and she thrusts up into you, back and forth until you both crumble at the same time, blinding and intense and loud. 
You might black out. 
One moment you’re stroking her skin with your fingertips and thanking her over and over, and the next you’re sitting up against her headboard with a glass of water in one hand and her fiery hair in the other. 
She’s sighing in your lap, nuzzling into the heat of your thighs with her aquiline nose. 
“You’re incredible,” you say for probably the millionth time that night. 
She chuckles again, just like she did when you first told her, but her pretty brown eyes shine when she looks up at you. 
“You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.”
Your face gets all hot again, and you feel shy, eyes darting around the room to focus on anything but the gorgeous woman resting on you. 
“Does it bother you when I call you that?” 
You huff. 
“Not at all.”
“Are you trans?” 
You huff again. 
“No. I— I don’t know. I’m just… me. In-between. I don’t really feel like I fit any one description.”
She hums and presses a kiss to your mound through your underwear.
“I understand.” 
“I’ve always been like this, you know? Before I knew what it was. I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Not in an insecure way. Just that it didn’t feel right.” 
“Do you want a dick?”
Her bluntness makes you laugh. 
“Sometimes I do.”
She nods, and the way her silky hair feels against your bare thighs makes you shiver. 
“It’s actually kind of awesome, I’m not gonna lie.”
She laughs with you. 
“Don’t rub it in.”
“I’ll rub it in if you give me another five minutes.”
She does.
You fall asleep in her arms, exhausted and sated and happy.
She’s gone in the morning. All the shades are drawn, those same hazardous candles from the club lighting the apartment dimly. Your clothes are dry cleaned and hanging in a bag you’re certain costs more than your entire outfit. There’s a note next to your half-empty glass of water on the nightstand.
See you around. 
Except you don’t. 
You wait eight whole days to go back to the club. You wear something nicer, go through the tight security, and saunter up to the bar with much more confidence than your first visit. You wait for her. You drink one too many and hope to find her walking around or playing the piano. 
A few people come up to you and ask you to dance, and you refuse each one with the bitter taste of irony on your tongue, and then you go home alone after last call with a headache and queasy stomach. 
Maybe she’s just out of town, you tell yourself. She owns an entire nightclub, she’s clearly a very important woman, probably quite busy, too. 
You go back the next weekend, and the next, and you don’t see her once. 
So after a month, you go again and this time you accept the offers to share a dance, grind against people with a weird confidence you know comes from the woman you hope to see tonight. You share meaningless kisses and buy a few people drinks but refuse an offer or two to ‘get out of here.’
You start to lose hope when the dim lights flicker brighter and last call is announced. But as you bid goodbyes to a group you were hanging with, that very large and scary bodyguard from the elevators is walking towards you, and this time his presence is more exciting and less intimidating. 
“Max would like you to come upstairs.”
And while it’s kind of annoying, and seems pretentious— why didn’t she come down here and tell you herself?— you follow. Eagerly. Once again. 
He lets you take the elevator up by yourself, and this time the anxiety is more anticipation than it is fear. 
Though, when the doors open, you’re face to face with a guy.
He’s got a familiar cocky smirk on his face, messy gelled hair, and he’s leaning up against a wall with his arms crossed. 
Panic, is what your body tells you to do, leave, run. But you’re frozen under his thick gaze. 
The elevator doors start to shut, and you take a step back when he moves to hold them open, but he chuckles. 
A cocky little chuckle. 
“Who are you?” 
“I’m Max.”
“No you’re not.”
“C’mon, handsome. It’s me.”
You shiver when he calls you that, but not in the same way you did when she said it. 
“Is this some kind of joke? Listen, she didn’t tell me she was exclusive with anyone—”
He cuts you off by saying your name in a pleading tone. 
“Come in, please, just give me a minute to prove it to you.”
Panic. Run. Leave.
You ignore every instinct to finally step out of the elevator. 
“You told me, last time, that sometimes you wished you had a dick. Right?”
You nod before you can think better of it. 
Who is this guy?
You’re no stranger to genderfluidity, the way a haircut or makeup or different clothes can drastically change someone’s look— but this isn’t that. This can’t be that. While they have similar features, her sharp noise was still softer, her eyes were less crinkled at the edges, her brow bone was much less prominent. If this is smoke and mirrors, she’s one hell of a magician. 
“Do you wish you had one right now?”
“I mean, yeah, I guess. Are you guys twins or something? What’s going on?” 
He chuckles again, and you have to say, it’s much less arousing coming from him than it was from your Max. He reaches out to touch your arm, and you want to shove him away, but you can’t.
Your body feels frozen, again, but not from fear. There’s a strange sensation that courses through you, some unexplainable energy that makes your bones feel like they’re vibrating, makes your blood feel thick and heavy in your veins. 
It scares you, but the newly soft look on this Max’s face is just comforting enough to keep you from a full-fledged panic attack. 
That, and the fact that it’s over just as quick as it started. Your body loosens back up as Max’s hand on your arm rubs reassuring circles. 
But then you feel weird. A strange turning low in your gut, kind of like arousal, but not quite. And your pants feel tighter, more constricting than they did earlier. 
You look down. 
There’s a bulge in your pants, like there would be if you were packing. But you’re not. You’re certain you made the decision to leave it at home when you left earlier in the night. 
You look back up at him. He’s smirking. 
“You can touch it.”
You do, despite your brain screaming how weird it would be to touch your crotch in front of a man you’ve never met before. 
You have a dick. 
You feel it now, and while the feeling of it in your hand isn’t foreign to you, the fact that it’s sensitive and fucking actually attached to your body is. 
You pull your hand away like it’s been scalded. 
“What the fuck?! How did you—“
You stare at him open-mouthed and terrified and maybe a little bit turned on.
“Does it matter? I gave you what you’ve always wanted.” 
He looks from your face to your… dick, and back again, smirking, admiring, like he’s just finished an art project.
“Will it… Will it go back?”
“Do you want it to?”
“I— I don’t know.”
Max chuckles that damn chuckle, all full of himself. But this time, it’s her. You know it is, now. As crazy as it sounds, it’s the only thing that makes sense. This is your Max. 
“Why don’t you take it for a test drive? If you don’t like it, I’ll change you back.”
You gape at him. It’s all clicking. This is your Max, and they’ve listened to you and done something so fucking weird but so fucking sweet. You don’t know how, and you honestly are starting to care less and less the longer Max keeps staring at you like he’s proud. Of you or himself, you’re not so sure, but it’s working. 
“It’s— it’s you, isn’t it?” 
“I told you so.”
“Fuck,” you sigh, “where have you been? I came back. Every weekend.” 
Max hums. 
“I was a little caught up. Got into a bit of trouble, as I do. But I’m back, and I wanted to see you. I’m glad you came.”
“Are you— I mean… you look a lot different?” 
He shrugs. 
“Do you still think I’m hot? I can change back—”
“No! No, sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. I was just confused. You’re still—”
“Incredible?” 
You huff a laugh, and finally relax for the first time since you got into that elevator. 
“Yeah. Incredible.”
His cocky demeanor falls to the wayside to make room for something more sincere. He takes a few steps until you’re face to face with him, and places a suspiciously cold hand on the back of your heated neck. 
“I missed you,” he mumbles. 
“I— I missed you too. That night… I’ve thought about it so much.”
“Mmm, yeah? Me too.”
You kiss the stupid smirk off of his face. 
He tastes the same as you remember before, like champagne and sweet mint and her. His teeth are just as sharp, scraping your tongue as it explores every bit of his mouth. 
His free hand grabs your hip and pulls you even closer to him and fuck, that feels better than it has any right to. Your cock stirs in your pants and you buck your hips again, fiending for this new type of friction. 
“Come to bed with me?” 
All you can do is nod and follow. 
The bedroom looks just the same as it did last time, but the lack of sunlight makes everything feel quieter tonight— slower, more serene. 
He turns down the covers slowly, and you stand at the foot of the bed, extremely uncertain about what happens next, even though your dick throbs with anticipation. 
“You still into this?” 
Max’s voice startles you out of your own head. 
“Yeah, sorry. Nerves.”
He hums and steps closer to you. 
“Nothing to be nervous about, handsome.”
You nod and let your eyes trace up and down his body, noting his broad shoulders in that crisp white dress shirt and his thick thighs under the satiny sheen of his slacks. He’s still just as gorgeous in this masculine form, and it’s as irritating as it is enticing.
“Do you wanna fuck me?” 
“Shit.” 
His words go straight to your cock, and you’re unashamed to palm it in your hand and press and curse at the completely new sensation. 
“I’m assuming that’s a yes,” he chuckles. “Do you want my ass or my pussy?” 
Your hand on yourself stills. 
“You— you have a pussy?”
“I can.”
And it shouldn’t surprise you, after everything else that’s happened in the last ten minutes, but it still does. Your breath stutters in your chest and your dick fills out even more against your hand and you distantly wonder how big Max made it, if it’s exactly what he wants. 
“Can I— Will you show me your pussy?” 
He leers at you when you ask, and it only turns you on even more. 
“I was hoping you’d go for that.”
He starts unbuttoning his shirt, but this whole mad situation has you feeling much more comfortable, in a fuck it kind of way. You step into his space and work the buttons free, and follow with your mouth. His skin is cold under the heat of your lips, and by the time his shirt hangs free from his shoulders you’ve made it your personal mission to warm up every inch of him. 
It’s easy to work his belt open, undo his fly and watch it open to a thick thatch of pubic hair. You pause to press your lips to his again, to reach around to cup his pert asscheeks as his slacks fall to the floor. 
You can’t stop grinding against him, even as you press him back and down onto the bed. You just follow, fully clothed, hesitant to deny yourself this new heady feeling of pressure to your cock. 
It’s only when he suckles your top lip and reaches down to palm you that you realize you’re teetering on the edge of embarrassing yourself. 
Your hips jolt away from him and it hurts a bit when you rip your lip out between his teeth, but all the better to take your mind off the intense, heavy arousal in your gut. 
“Okay?” 
He asks it with a smirk, like he already knows the answer, so you don’t give him one. You just stare down past your heaving chest to see the damp spot on your pants and start to unfasten them to relieve some of the pressure. 
“You’re gonna want to chill out. Refractory periods are annoying with those things,” he warns. 
You huff. 
“That’s kind of you,” you joke. 
It’s better, just in the thin fabric of your underwear, less resistant. You want to take them off too, but you’re afraid that the euphoria from seeing yourself with a dick will really conflate the issue at hand. 
So you shuffle down the bed a bit, and press your lips to Max’s flat chest, to his nipples that are half the size they were last time. They pebble quickly under your attention, and you bite down on one when you accidentally drag your cock along the mattress. 
He groans and arches into you, goads you on with a hand on the back of your neck. 
“Are you as good at eating pussy as you are at sucking dick?” 
It’s almost comical, the way he applies pressure to urge you further down his body. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
You nip at his sparse happy trail as he pushes you down with his large hand on your shoulder and delight in the way his muscles twitch under your mouth. 
“Some time this century, yeah.”
You hum, nose at the wiry curls on his mound and grab the wrist of his hand that’s still pressing on you. 
“You’re not very gentlemanly,” you tease.
He laughs as he stares down at you with his dark eyes. His hand moves to cup your jaw and you let it, let him trace your bottom lip with his thumb. 
“Is that what you want? A gentleman?”
You suck his thumb into your mouth as you shake your head, grinning around his knuckle. You bite down a little harder than you mean to and he hisses. He yanks his hand from your mouth to grab the back of your head and tug until your face is buried between his thighs. 
You relent, breathing in the scent of him, bypassing any preamble to shove your tongue inside of him. The way his hips buck into your face makes you smirk into his folds and dig your nails into the skin of his thighs. 
He still makes the most beautiful noises, when you get down to it. Desperate, hungry, eager. For as cocky as he is, he sure writhes against you like a shameless whore as he whispers curses into the dark room. 
You savor the taste of him, the warmth and tightness of him around your fingers, the scratchy feeling of his bush tickling your nose. The way his strong thighs tense and relax under your grasp makes you want to feel them do the same around your waist. 
You look up when he starts clenching around your fingers like a vice, and the thought of that feeling around your new dick makes you whimper into his pussy. You focus even more on the way you suckle and flick his clit, to try and set the arousal aside so you don’t come before you can even slip into him. 
He’s got his head thrown back, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his back arched off the bed when he finally shudders and comes. You work him through it, lapping at his dripping hole, letting him grind against your tongue until he’s squirming away from your touch. 
You’re dragging this out. Stalling. You press little biting kisses to his thighs and his mound as he’s coming down. Maybe if you just worked him through one more, you’ll be calm enough to—
“C’mere already.”
You roll your eyes at him as he tugs on you, but you go willingly to hover over him and let him lick his taste from your mouth. His hums are lower and more subdued in the aftermath and they rumble deep in your chest as you try your hardest not to grind into him. 
It doesn’t matter. 
His free hand wraps around your cock and the feeling turns you on so much that you almost feel nauseous. You can feel all five of his fingers there, even with how big his hands are. He’s around you, and the familiar sensation on the inside mixed with the foreign sensation against your skin is a bit confusing but so hot. He squeezes and you jolt, bite down hard on his lip, but it only makes him chuckle. 
“That good, huh?” 
You groan into the crook of his neck in answer, completely at a loss for words. 
“I’d like to say the novelty wears off, but I haven’t found that it does.”
You feel like you’re on fire, honestly, like you’re trapped in a burning building with no way out. It’s hard to speak or breathe or think with his hand wrapped around you over your underwear. You can’t even begin to imagine how good his skin is going to feel against yours. 
“C’mon, handsome, lie back for me.”
You do, with his help, reclined back against his decorative pillows. Your breathing is ragged as he takes his time getting your shirt off and pressing surprisingly sweet kisses to everything revealed to him. 
You ground yourself by petting his hair, coarse and a little sticky from hair gel but thick enough to be extremely satisfying to card through. For a moment you’re able to focus on the feeling of it slipping between your fingers instead of the throbbing of your prick. 
But then his thick fingers find the elastic waistband and creep underneath. It shocks you out of your false sense of security. When your panicked eyes meet his, they’re so warm and soft you think you could maybe cry a little about it. But he speaks up instead. 
“Are you still okay with everything going on?”
And you are, even though you’re hanging by a thread and preemptively embarrassed by what’s about to go down; you want it so bad. 
So you nod. 
“Words, handsome.”
You huff. 
“Yes, Max. Please.”
He hums and smiles. 
“Good boy.”
You’re engulfed by embarrassment when your cock jumps dramatically at his words, right beneath his hovering face. You feel even hotter when he huffs out a laugh.
But then he’s pulling your underwear, and it’s there, in plain sight, a gorgeous cock. It’s perfect, it’s how you’ve always imagined yours would look if you had one. Like Max knew, somehow, was inside your brain and could see the same fantasies that you could. 
It jerks again in the cool air. You can feel the blood rushing there, a powerful gush that makes it twitch when you think about how it’s your dick, on your body. He hasn’t even touched you yet and you can feel pre-cum dripping down your shaft. 
“Can I taste?” He asks. 
You nod, then remember your words. 
“Please.”
You can’t produce more than a whisper as you watch him lean forward, like slow motion, with his tongue hanging out dramatically and his eyes locked on yours. 
The first touch of his tongue against your skin has your hips flying off the mattress at a speed that you’re sure defies laws of physics. 
He just looks so fucking gorgeous with your prick eclipsing the middle of his face. Your prick looks so gorgeous. God, you’re starting to understand where cis men get their audacity from. 
You tighten your grip on his hair for no other reason than you need something to hang onto or you might just float off into space. He teases you with more kitten licks, up one side, then the other, and you watch in awe. You can’t take your eyes off it, even though it may delay the inevitable if you could. 
He kisses the head of it, and his tongue does something wicked right underneath it that makes you tug his head back by his gelled locks. 
“Too much?” He asks, even as he winces at your tugging. 
“You’re teasing, and all that’s going to lead to is disappointment on your end.”
God, why do you sound like you’ve just run a marathon?
“I’ll never be disappointed by making you come, handsome.”
He’s so fucking annoying. You want to fuck his face just to shut him up, but you know that would only last about ten and a half seconds. 
You curse and close your eyes and dig your head back into the pillows. He must take it as a signal to continue, because bright, staticky stars burst behind your eyelids when he takes you into his mouth for the first time. 
Fuck. You’re inside him. It feels hot and wet, kind of squishy, but so tight when he sucks and sinks his mouth down even farther. 
You yell. The dramatic noise is ripped from your vocal chords without your consent, and your eyes fly open to look down at him. Those plush fucking lips look so goddamn good wrapped around you, all wet and red and swollen. You squeeze his hair in your hand. You’re so torn between wanting to chase the warmth of his mouth and wanting to arch away from it. 
Then you feel it, that familiar twisting deep and low in your gut, only it’s ten times as intense as it usually is. You start to panic. 
“Max! Max, please, I’m—!”
He pulls off quickly, and squeezes the base of your jerking dick. It kind of hurts, and you hiss and watch in horror and wait for something to come out. But it doesn’t. It’s so weird, the way he’s manually shut down your orgasm with one touch. Completely different than the way you would have had to hold back without this new dick. 
“That’s—”
“Incredible, right?” 
You huff in the midst of catching your breath. You still feel like a hair trigger, but without someone’s finger hovering over it now. 
“Oh my god,” you sigh. 
He laughs and lets go of you. You watch him wipe the corners of his pretty mouth and distantly think that you can’t wait until you get used to this, so you can make him gag and watch his drool and your cum seep from it. 
Your dick jerks at the thought, and it’s strange to have the evidence of your arousal be so obvious. It’s like a damn car alarm. 
“Wanna fuck me now?” 
You laugh, delirious. 
“My new nickname’s gonna be One Pump Chump.”
He slithers up the bed to lie beside you. 
“It’s totally understandable. Normal, even.”
You raise your eyebrow at him. 
“How big is the sample size?”
He shrugs and smirks but his eyes focus on the bedsheets between you. 
“I know I seem like a douchebag, but I really just wanna help.”
You pout at him, but fix your face before he looks back up at you. You run your hand through his hair, gently this time, and something about this whole situation is making your heart feel all gooey. 
“You only seem like a little bit of a douchebag.”
He grumbles at you but smiles. 
“Besides, there’s like, a billion things you’re gonna want to try with that thing. You’ll get practice.” 
That thing suddenly doesn’t feel as pressing anymore. You’re still hard as rock, but it finally feels like it would take a little more than a gentle breeze to make you spill. 
“Let me fuck you, then.”
“Yeah?”
You nod and smile; and some of that eagerness comes back to light up his devious eyes. He reaches for the condoms in the bedside table and you admire all of the taut muscles under his tan skin. 
“You want help with this?” 
You roll your eyes, but it’s kinda sweet. You’ve never actually put one on at this angle before. So you get between his thighs when he lies back and let him roll it on you. 
“You can definitely get someone pregnant with this too, so… be warned. Don’t sue me about it, it won’t go over well in court.”
Your dick bobs in his grasp as you laugh. It feels so weird and fascinating.  
“Noted, thank you for the disclaimer. And sorry about the lawsuit?” 
He squeezes your prick around the condom and smiles up at you. 
“No worries, that was decades ago.”
You laugh until the words catch up with you. But you don’t have time to question it much, because he’s lying back and spreading his thighs for you, getting a pillow under his hips so his glistening pussy is tilted perfectly. Your mouth waters at the sight of him so aroused and ready for you, and at the thought of how much more wet and tight and hot it’s going to feel compared to his mouth. 
You sigh and play with his little clit, still wet from your saliva. He keens and seeks out more friction and you have to fuck him. His pussy is even more enticing now, knowing you can slide your prick inside. 
You shuffle closer and try to remind yourself to take your time. You purposefully glide your hands up his thighs, feeling the way the hair gets more sparse and fine the further up you go. You’re delighted by the little goosebumps that form under your fingertips and the way he sounds so relaxed when he sighs. 
Shuffling even further now, you settle those thick thighs over your own and let your knees cage his slim hips. When you look up, he’s watching you through hooded eyes with his bottom lip between his teeth.
“You really are gorgeous,” you tell him, softly, afraid to disturb what’s becoming a very peaceful calm before the storm. 
His breath hitches a little and you see it as it ripples his chest. 
“You really are handsome,” he winks back. 
Your hand wanders up higher, across his ribs, and your thumb presses against his stiff nipple and rolls it. You feel the small noise he makes under your palm and smile. 
Your other hand grabs the base of your cock, sure to keep the base of the condom from slipping down. The subtle move kind of makes you feel like a pro, and you’d snicker about it if the euphoria that flooded through your body didn’t overwhelm you. 
It’s kind of like an out of body experience. But you’re also painfully aware of your body and this new appendage and the way the feeling of it is wreaking havoc on your entire being. 
You slide your cock through his wet folds and even just this feels incredible, the way every bit of him feels rubbing against your sensitive cockhead. You can’t drag it out any longer, you know. 
“Are you ready?” You ask him hesitantly. 
“Are you ready?” 
You snort and roll your eyes and pinch his nipple. His back arches and the movement makes your dick slip down, press just barely against his opening. You suck in a breath and it takes every ounce of willpower not to shove yourself inside to chase that wet heat. 
“Okay, okay, I’m ready. Just fuck me already. Gonna feel so good.”
For him or for you, you’re not sure which he means, but it doesn’t matter. 
You try to take your time. You really do. But as soon as the head of your prick slips in it’s like you have no self control. 
You chase the warmth, plunge all the way into him, and stay. 
Oh my god. 
“Oh my god.”
Max chuckles at you and you can feel it. You’re so fucking wrapped up in him. Every little move, shift, clench, it surrounds you and overwhelms you. 
“You feel so fucking good, Max.”
You’re sure you look absolutely wild. Your jaw is permanently dropped, eyes wide as you try with all of your might to hang on. 
“Ditto,” he breathes. 
His eyes look dark and intense, when your eyes can finally focus in. 
“Do you— did you make it exactly how you like?” 
It’s so stupid to be asking questions right now but it’s the only thing you have to keep you somewhat composed. 
“Yeah,” he admits, a little breathless. 
“You get off on that?”
You know he does before he answers, can feel him clench and contract around you. You muster up the dexterity to find his clit with your thumb and press. 
“I do! I do, fuck.”
You finally start to inch out of him, slowly, afraid that too much friction will send you over the edge. 
“Are you using me like a toy?” 
He whimpers, and the sound alone makes you snap your hips back into him. 
“No, no, that’s not it.”
Your brows rise up in question, and you pull out again as you wait for him to explain. 
“It’s— I dunno. I like that you… hah, shit, like that, don’t stop.”
You feel smug that you’ve derailed his thoughts by starting to fuck him with a slow rhythm, if only because he’s derailed yours a million times in the two nights you’ve shared. 
You circle his clit and groan at the way his pussy squeezes you. It’s hard to even pull out of him, it’s like he’s sucking you right back in. 
“You were saying?”
And it doesn’t sound smooth coming from your mouth, your breathing labored and your voice strained. 
“I like that you’ll think of me when you fuck. I like knowing I made you like this for me even if others get to enjoy it. I like knowing— shit— I like knowing I’m the one that makes you feel good.”
You balk at his confession. Such a beautiful explanation for something so possessive. From anyone else it would sound so objectifying. But with this strange relationship the two of you have, it makes your entire body burn. 
You collapse on top of him once the words really sink in. You hide your face in his sweaty neck and begin to rut into him with the knowledge that you’ll probably crumble far too quickly, but you don’t quite care. 
“You do, you make me feel so good,” you tell him. 
He whines and works his hips against yours to meet your frantic thrusts. You grab his hair again and bite faint marks into his neck that make him writhe and squirm against you. 
“You do too— harder, please, fuck me harder.”
Man, your hips are starting to ache, just like with your strap, but this time the sensation of feeling him wrapped around your very real cock keeps the discomfort at bay and it’s just pure bliss. 
So you double down, raise back up to put more of your back into it. Your sweaty hands slip against his skin as you try to grab his hips for leverage. 
“You gotta touch yourself for me,” you pant. 
The way he scrambles to comply just turns you on even more, gives you one more tick in the ‘power tripping’ column. He looks so fucking beautiful under you, back all arched in pleasure, his face scrunched up in concentration. His bicep is bulging as he slides three fingers back and forth across his clit, so frantic but so practiced. 
You fuck him and try to think about anything other than how good he feels. You’re plunging into the world’s softest, warmest hole and he’s moaning for you, you’re making him feel just as good as you do, and you’re going to lose it. 
“Gonna come, Max. I can’t—”
“Do it, come for me. Wanna be the first.”
Your hips stutter as the wave finally, finally crashes over you. You try so hard to fuck through it, try to make him come again, but as the first shock of your orgasm spikes up your spine, you can’t think to do anything but try to bury yourself as far as you can into his tight cunt. 
You know he’s saying something encouraging by the tone of his voice, but his words go in one ear and out the other as you grind into him and rest your sweaty forehead in the middle of his chest. It feels so good you could cry. 
Your fingertips dig into the flesh of his hips as you ride it out, and your chest starts to burn and your throat starts to ache and your eyes start to burn.
You are crying. 
“Shit.”
It comes out as a broken sob, muffled into his chest, and he starts at the sound. 
“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe.”
You shake your head against him. 
“I’m fine.”
“I know, just breathe though.”
The breaths you suck in are all shuddery and stilted, and there’s snot, and it’s so embarrassing but comforting all at once. 
He urges you to slip out, and he even holds the condom for you, pulls it off, and ties it while you try to reel yourself in.
You don’t, not right away at least, because once you get over the crazy rush of endorphins and serotonin and dopamine or whatever that’s flooded your body, you start feeling extremely self conscious about the whole sobbing during sex thing, and the fact that he didn’t get off, and—
“Come snuggle?” 
You’re not sure when he got up, but he’s holding up a robe for you in one hand, and cradling your head in the other, and ushering you out into the living room. His fireplace is on now, and there’s a tall, snobby glass bottle of water on his end table. 
You’re tired, now. Like, bone-deep exhaustion. You slump into him where he’s sprawled out on his leather couch and close your watery eyes. 
“I’m sorry.”
He shushes you gently, pets your head that’s on his chest that definitely has your dried snot on it still. 
“Don’t be sorry. As long as you feel good, I feel good.”
You nod, and taking a deep breath comes easier to you this time. You brave a look up at him, and his eyes are warmer than ever as they reflect the orange-yellow flames.
“Thank you.”
He smirks then, and you feel the tension in the room shift. 
“So how was it?”
You grin and hide it in his pecs. You’re hyper aware of your spent dick lying soft and sticky on your thigh. You’re so much more tired than you ever usually are after an orgasm. It was all so different, every little bit of it. And there’s this calmness you feel now, after all the commotion, and it hits you all at once that it all feels right. 
There’s no cleaning your strap, putting away your toys, no sliding on your underwear to hide the thing that just gave you pleasure. There’s no awkward dissonance. It’s just… normal. Normal in a way it’s never been before. Effortless bliss, like a sensory deprivation tank. Nothing. 
“It was everything.”
-
Author's Note: I wanted to share a bit about what really resonated with me as I learned more about Loki. The one thing that stuck with me throughout this writing challenge is that Loki is not a bad guy. I will be honest, the only thing I knew about Loki before this was from the MCU, which to me seems like an oversimplification of the norse god from everything I've learned about him. Erin provided me with this very thorough video that analyzes Loki and his myths. To me, he seems like someone who liked to 'stir the shit' for the sake of curiosity. I didn't find much ill will at all in these tellings of his trickery, just a guy who wanted to fuck around and find out about things, someone who did more than just wonder what would happen.
Second, Erin said he's Like a fun older brother. Very playful and mischievous. Very straight-forward. Protector of outcasts; lgbtq+ folks, disabled people, neurodivergent people, etc. This was another driving force behind this fic. It wasn't a coincidence that Max met reader their first night at the club, they founded the club for the sole purpose of creating a safe space for queer people and takes an active role in making sure their patrons feel like they belong.
Lastly, Erin said their pick for me would be Max / Loki because of the gender fuckery, which excited me as much as it made me feel honored. When watching the aforementioned video, I learned about Loki turning himself and Thor into a bridesmaid and a bride, respectively. Loki himself was unrecognizable and was the exact image of a woman. However, Thor pretty much just looked like himself in a dress (this is paraphrasing.) I loved the idea that Loki's shapeshifting could not only be directed toward other people, but could vary in vagueness. These undefined rules for Loki’s gender felt like how I personally view gender in general, as well as how I relate it to my own identity, and I really took that idea and ran with it.
Anyway, thank you again @perotovar for this writing challenge and the piece of yourself you shared with all of us. I love you so much! <3
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movingmusically · 2 days
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Caught Feeling - part 1
Summary: A reserved woman, craving something different, enters a bar and meets Hank, a confident bartender. As their connection deepens, she steps out of her usual quiet self, embracing a night that changes everything.
Note: This is the first writing I’ve ever posted, but after seeing the set pictures yesterday I had to get something down.
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The truth is, I don’t really know what possessed me to walk into Paul’s tonight. I’m not the kind of person who normally does things like this—spontaneous, bold, risky. That’s never been me. I’m more the type to stay in, read a book, maybe watch a show on TV if I’m feeling adventurous. I keep to myself, blend into the background. It’s comfortable there. Quiet. Predictable.
But tonight felt different.
I couldn’t take another quiet evening alone, another routine night where nothing happened. Work had drained me, like it always did, and my mind felt clogged with the same old thoughts, the same old worries. So instead of heading home like I usually would, I found myself walking in the opposite direction, pulled by something I couldn’t quite explain.
And that’s how I ended up here, in this smoky, dimly lit bar I’d passed a hundred times but never stepped foot into. Paul’s wasn’t exactly my kind of place—it was gritty, loud, filled with regulars who all seemed to know each other. The kind of place where I would normally feel out of place. But tonight, I didn’t care. Tonight, I wanted to be someone else, someone who didn’t fade into the background.
The second I walked in, I felt the weight of the room shift. It wasn’t so much that people noticed me—most were too engrossed in their drinks or conversations—but I felt different. Out of my element. My nerves buzzed under my skin, that familiar urge to turn around and retreat bubbling up inside me. But I stayed.
Then I saw him.
He was behind the bar, leaning casually against the counter like he owned the place. His blonde hair was slightly messy, curling at the base of his neck, with a worn baseball cap pulled low over his forehead. But it was his eyes that caught me—blue, sharp, and piercing, like they could see straight through me.
For a moment, I thought about looking away, but I didn’t. Our eyes met, and a slow, lazy smile spread across his face, the kind that made my stomach flip. He didn’t say anything, just held my gaze for a beat too long before turning back to his task.
Something inside me stirred—a mix of nerves, curiosity, and something else. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I wasn’t the type to flirt with bartenders or sit alone in a place like this, but tonight, I wanted to see where this could go.
I made my way to the bar, sliding onto a stool and feeling oddly aware of every step, every movement. The bottles gleamed behind him, and the air was thick with smoke, wood, and something musky that I couldn’t place. As I sat down, he glanced up again, and that smile returned, like he was waiting for me to speak.
“What’ll it be?” he asked, his voice low, rough around the edges.
Normally, I’d have some rehearsed response ready, a safe drink order to keep me grounded, but tonight I didn’t want safe. I met his gaze, a small flicker of boldness lighting inside me. “Whatever you recommend.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You trust me to pick for you?”
I nodded, feeling a little more confident now. “Yeah. Surprise me.”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head in mock disbelief, and reached for a bottle. “Alright, you asked for it.”
As he poured, I couldn’t help but watch him. He moved with a kind of effortless confidence that made it hard to look away. When he slid the drink across the bar, his fingers brushed mine for just a second, sending a jolt of electricity up my arm.
“Here you go,” he said, leaning against the bar with that same easy grin. “Let me know what you think.”
I took a sip, the alcohol smooth and a little sharp as it hit my tongue. Warmth spread through me, easing the edge of my nerves without clouding my thoughts. I wasn’t drunk—not even close—but I felt braver, more at ease than I had when I first walked in.
“Not bad,” I said, matching his grin with one of my own.
His eyes flicked over me, curious. “Good to know.”
For a moment, neither of us said anything, but the air between us felt charged. I could feel the pull, the chemistry building, and my heart raced in a way I hadn’t expected. Normally, I’d be tongue-tied, fumbling for words, but here, with him, it felt different. Maybe I didn’t have to be the quiet, shy girl tonight.
“So, you come here often?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too cliché.
He chuckled, running a hand through his blonde curls as he glanced around the bar. “I guess you could say that. I work here most nights. Name’s Hank, by the way.”
Hank. It suited him. Strong, simple, with just the right amount of edge.
“I’m—” I started to introduce myself, but a regular at the end of the bar called out, interrupting us. Hank shot me a quick smile, a promise that our conversation wasn’t over, and turned to grab the man’s drink.
I watched him move, noticing the ease with which he handled the bar. There was something magnetic about him, something that made my pulse quicken. As the night wore on, the bar slowly emptied, but Hank kept returning to me, each time with a little more focus, a little more intensity in his gaze. It felt like we were picking up a conversation that never really paused. It wasn’t about the words—it was about the attention. The way he leaned in slightly, as if nothing else in the room mattered.
Hank returned after serving another customer, resting his hands on the counter. He gave me a crooked smile, a look that made it feel like we’d known each other for longer than just tonight.
“So, what brings you to Paul’s? You don’t exactly blend in with the regulars,” he said, his tone easy, like he was genuinely curious.
I shrugged, glancing around. “Just needed a change of scenery. This isn’t my usual kind of place.”
He chuckled, his blue eyes flicking up to the TV screen where the end credits of a Giants game were rolling. “Yeah, I figured. You’ve got that look—like you’re used to being somewhere quieter.”
“Somewhere quieter like… where?”
He thought for a moment, his expression thoughtful. “A café, maybe? Somewhere peaceful. You seem like someone who likes calm.”
I smiled at that. “You’re not wrong. I’m more of a coffee shop girl than a bar regular.”
“Let me guess,” he said, resting his chin on his hand, “you’ve got a favourite corner, always reading, probably scribbling in a notebook. And you drink your coffee black. No sugar.”
I laughed, the sound surprising me with how relaxed I felt. “Close. But I do take a little sugar.”
His smile widened. “Good to know.”
There was a pause, and I could feel the shift between us. A deeper pull, something heavier lingering in the air, making my heart race again. The bar had emptied out now, the noise of earlier replaced by a quiet hum. Hank wiped down the counter, his movements slower, more deliberate.
“You’re doing a good job of stepping out of your usual tonight,” he said after a moment. “Coming to a place like this on your own? That’s not nothing.”
I smiled softly, realising that I did feel different—bolder, freer. “Thanks. It does feel… different. In a good way.”
Hank’s smile deepened, his eyes locking with mine. “Sometimes different is exactly what you need.”
I nodded, feeling a warmth growing in my chest—not just from the alcohol, but from something else, something more. “Yeah, I think so.”
The bar had thinned out, leaving only a few stragglers nursing their last drinks. The soft murmur of conversations and the clink of glasses filled the space, but it all felt distant now. It was just me and Hank. The rest of the world seemed to fade into the background.
Hank leaned against the bar, his blue eyes still focused on me, and I could feel the weight of his attention like a physical thing. “You seem like someone who’s got it all together. But tonight, you’re here. Why?”
The question caught me off guard, and I paused, glancing down at my nearly empty glass. “I guess I just needed a break from myself for a while. From the routine, the quiet. You ever feel that way?”
Hank’s expression softened, his gaze growing more thoughtful. “More than you’d think. It’s why I work here, I guess. This place… it’s real. People come here to escape, to let go. I get it.”
I met his eyes again, feeling a strange sense of connection, like he understood exactly what I was feeling. “Yeah, that’s what I needed tonight. Something real. Something different.”
Hank pushed off from the bar, moving a little closer, his voice dropping just enough that it felt like a secret between us. “Well, you picked the right place.”
There was a beat of silence, the kind that felt loaded with possibility. I could feel my heart pounding, my pulse quickening, and I knew I was standing on the edge of something. Something new. Something unexpected.
Hank’s gaze flicked to the door, then back to me, and I could see the question in his eyes before he even said it.
“You wanna get out of here?”
It wasn’t just an invitation—it was a challenge, a leap into the unknown. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t hesitate.
“Yeah,” I said softly, my voice steady despite the nerves fluttering in my stomach. “I do.”
The cool night air hit my skin the moment we stepped outside, but it did little to cool the fire that had been building between us all night. The alley behind the bar was dimly lit, shadows stretching across the walls, but I barely noticed. All I could focus on was him—the way his broad shoulders moved, the way his hands flexed at his sides as if he was holding himself back.
We stopped just outside the door, and before I had time to second-guess myself, he turned to me, stepping in close. The space between us disappeared in an instant, and I felt his hand at my waist, pulling me gently but firmly against him. My breath caught in my throat, and for a split second, all I could do was look up into those mesmerising blue eyes, my heart pounding in my chest.
Then he kissed me.
It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t slow. His lips crashed against mine, urgent and hungry, like he’d been waiting all night for this moment. His hands gripped my waist, pulling me closer as his mouth moved against mine, and I kissed him back just as fiercely, my fingers instinctively finding their way to the base of his skull. His hair was soft, curling around my fingers as I tangled my hands in it, pulling him closer.
He let out a low, guttural sound, the kind of sound that sent shivers down my spine and made my knees weak. His hands slid up my back, his fingers digging into my skin as he pressed me against the brick wall behind us. The roughness of the wall was a stark contrast to the heat of his body, and I arched into him, wanting—needing—to be closer.
My hands stayed tangled in his hair, pulling him down harder as his lips moved to my neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along my jawline.
This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the shy, quiet girl who kept to herself, who avoided risks. But right now, with Hank’s body pressed against mine, his lips on my skin, I didn’t care. All I cared about was him, the way he made me feel—alive, bold, free.
And I wasn’t about to stop.
His breath was hot against my skin as his lips moved lower, trailing down my neck, and I could feel every nerve in my body igniting. I tugged at his hair again, just enough to pull him back to my mouth, and when our lips met, the kiss was even more intense—desperate, as if we both knew this moment was everything we had been building up to all night.
I could feel his body press harder against mine, his hands roaming over my waist, my hips, pulling me even closer as though the small space between us was unbearable. My back hit the rough surface of the brick wall again, but the discomfort only heightened the sensation. The world outside the alley faded away—there were no more sounds from the bar, no distant cars, just the pounding of our hearts and the shared heat between us.
When he finally pulled back, his breathing was ragged, and he rested his forehead against mine, his blue eyes searching my face in the dim light. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he murmured, his voice low and thick with desire.
I swallowed, my breath still catching in my throat. “I think I do,” I whispered back, unable to stop the smile that tugged at my lips.
He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through his chest. “I thought I had you all figured out, but… you keep surprising me.”
“I’m surprising myself,” I admitted, my fingers still tangled in his hair, feeling the warmth of his scalp beneath my touch. “But I like it.”
He pulled back just enough to look at me fully, his gaze softening for a moment, as if he was trying to read me—trying to make sure I was still in control, still wanting this as much as he did. And I was. More than I’d ever imagined.
“What now?” His voice was a little quieter, a little less hurried, but still laced with that same intensity.
I didn’t need to think about it. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his again, this time slower, more deliberate, savouring the feel of him, the taste of his mouth. “I don’t want this to stop,” I whispered between kisses, my hands sliding down to grip his shoulders, feeling the tension in his muscles as he held back.
He groaned softly against my lips, his hands gripping my hips tighter. “It doesn’t have to.”
The way he said it, so sure, made my heart race even faster. We were in an alley behind a bar, but in this moment, it didn’t matter. Nothing felt rushed or wrong. It felt like exactly where we were supposed to be. Like I had finally stepped into a part of myself I’d been avoiding for too long. And with him, it felt… right.
The intensity between us burned hotter, and soon, his hands were back on my waist, sliding under my shirt, his fingers grazing the skin there in a way that made me gasp. I could feel the roughness of the brick wall behind me, but all I could focus on was him—his touch, his breath, the way he seemed just as lost in this as I was.
But there was something else too, a sense of grounding I hadn’t expected. He wasn’t rushing. He wasn’t pushing. He was waiting, following my lead, giving me the space to feel, to take in every second of this. And I knew, in that moment, that whatever happened next, it was because we both wanted it. Because we were both ready for it.
And as the world around us continued to disappear, the night taking over, I knew that whatever came next—whether it lasted for just this night or beyond—it would be the best decision I’d ever made.
Part 2
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peppymintdreams · 19 hours
Text
What If Luca Didn’t Go to the Party
This is my first ever Zsakuva Fanfic so bear with me on this 🙏🏿
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It was a late Thursday evening. Luca was lying in his dorm room, staring at the ceiling and feeling empty. He had finished all he needed to do, and all that was left was to relax. He had been invited to a party but didn’t feel like going. What would he even do at a party? It came as a shock when someone actually invited him; it must’ve been a joke to get a reaction out of him—who knows? The night was quiet, aside from the occasional ventilation turning on and off, the faint sounds of upbeat music echoing across the campus, and moans of couples haunting the hallways. Here he was, alone in his bed.
Deciding to make a stand, he put on his nice clothes and headed for the door, determined to make his presence known at the university. But when his hand touched the door, something changed. Visions of doubt, insecurities, and the years of bullying he’d endured flooded his mind. He wanted to be strong; he wanted to try something new, but the pain was just too much to handle. What was he to do—stay home and let his insecurities and doubts win, or let himself be free? It took everything in his power to keep his hand on the doorknob and turn it fully. He was almost there, the door beginning to open, his vision starting to blur. It felt like time was running out if he didn’t make a decision. In the end… he shut the door and locked it.
“Weak,” that’s all he could hear in his head. A weak person, he thought. He lay down on the sofa, turned the TV on, and watched whatever was playing, tears streaming down his face. What was he to become if he couldn’t even muster up the courage to just be a person?
His phone lit up with a notification from his mom. She was his safe place, the person he could turn to whenever something went wrong and he didn’t know the answer. He called her and waited as the line buzzed. “Hello,” she said, her voice like a cloud—so soft and welcoming.
“Mom, I—” he stuttered, tears rolling down his face.
“Hey, honey!” she spoke with excitement; just getting a call from her son made her day, judging by the silence and occasional weeping on the other line. “What’s wrong, baby?” Anytime Luca was sad or upset, his parents were there for him, no matter what giant missile life threw at him.
“Mom, I don’t know what to do,” he began to cry, his voice cracking, He had explained to her about his invite to the party and what just happened and the meltdown he had.
“Aww, baby, it’s okay to not know the answer.” Hearing his mom understand him relaxed him, calming his breath. “Sweetheart, I understand how you’re feeling. It’s completely normal to be scared about going to a party, especially when you’re unsure of what to expect. Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous.”
His breath hitched; he began to hiccup. “Maybe you could talk to a friend who’s going and see how they feel about it?” Thinking about what she said, he realized he didn’t really have any friends in university or anywhere in London. So, what was the next best option?
“Think about what you might enjoy about the party—like meeting new people or having fun with friends. If you decide to go, just be yourself. And if you feel uncomfortable at any point, it’s okay to leave. Your feelings matter, and I’m here to support you, no matter what you choose.”
He began to calm down. Just a couple of minutes ago, it felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on him, but hearing his mother’s voice was enough to wash away everything. He wanted to change the topic to avoid the emotional roller coaster he had just thrown at her, but then he heard a door open and a heavy grunt—Luca’s dad was home.
“I have to go, Luca; your father just got back from the store. But we can talk tomorrow. Does that sound good?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Luca replied. There was nothing more he enjoyed than unwinding with his mother; she always had the right answer.
“Mom, I do have one more thing to say.” There was something that had been bothering him lately, and he needed the answer to free his mind. “Can it wait until tomorrow, dear? Your father appears to be struggling.” Disappointed, he reluctantly agreed.
“Of course, Mom,” he said sadly. Judging by his tone, his mom could tell he wanted to talk but couldn’t stop himself from waiting. His father did have a bad back.
“Well, okay. I have to go. Mommy and Daddy love you very much, Luca. Kisses,” she said.
“I love you too, Mom.” She hung up as soon as he responded; she was in a rush. He understood his parents had their own lives, but they always made time for him.
Turning off his phone, Luca made up his mind. Grabbing his laptop that was still on the coffee table, he looked for available flights home after his graduation. There was no one he had to stay with; he didn’t have friends here, and he wasn’t in a relationship this town wouldn’t miss him. Luca let out a heavy breath and flipped through the channels, trying to relax. “I’m here,” he thought. He felt comfortable. Soon, in the next few months, he’d be home—there’s no place like home.
Not more than a couple of miles away, a lonely person stood next to a table full of drinks. They seemed dazed and confused. “Ayo ___, come and dance with me,” a friend said. Looking at them, they replied, “Meh, I don’t know.”
Their friend looked at them, concerned. “Yo ___, you alright? You seem troubled.” They were troubled; something didn’t feel right. He took their hand, wrapping his other arm around their waist, twirling them to him. Nothing else mattered but having ___ someone he longed to hold in his arms, someone he was now face to face with, just a few inches apart.
“I don’t know; I just have a weird feeling,” they said, backing up and looking around.
“Feeling? Like what?” he asked.
“Like someone was supposed to be here…”
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That’s amazing. Of course everyone needs to start somewhere. Of course I understand not everyone likes writing smut.
Young Charles Xavier x reader. She’s also has a mutation. She’s kicked out by her parents when they find out that her boyfriend is in a wheelchair. She turns up in the pouring rain with her puppy under her jacket to keep them dry and a black eye because her dad hit her (you don’t have to write that just imply it)
Hope that’s not to detailed but wanted to give you as much detail as I could to help you write it.
Can you please tag me in any future X-Men fanfiction you write.
Xx
A.N: Okay, I finally got around to finishing this. I'm actually quite proud of it given it's my first time EVER writing fanfiction and especially with it being a request. I hope you enjoy it even though it is a bit cliche at times. Also, there is slight ableism given the prompt, I did some research to make sure I wasn't using any slurs but if I am wrong PLEASE let me know. I will change it.
Word Count: 1251
Pairing: Young Charles Xavier x Female!Reader
Warnings: Ableism (Only a small sentence), gets kind angsty
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You didn’t really know how they had found out. You were so careful. Building a wall of lies so thick and so far that you could no longer see the ends. 
You suppose that somewhere along the lines you’d missed a spot, one vital brick that tumbled down the entirety of your life. 
Your parents had only just started getting around to the idea of having a ‘freak’ of a daughter. Constantly telling you how lucky you were to at least look ‘normal’ and not like those ‘other ones’. 
You were one of the good ones. 
They had laid the rules out simply. They didn’t care about your abilities as long as they stayed outside the house and as long as you married a ‘regular human being’. It seemed simple enough and studying for a masters (which they paid for) you figured one more year of hiding wouldn’t be so difficult.
What you never considered was falling madly in love with another mutant. You’d been convinced for so long that you were completely alone in the walls you’d built, that when you met a man who could literally tear them apart you had no choice but to let yourself go.
The argument had started at dinner. It’d been a long day of research which had resulted in nothing but a dead end. Exhausted from sitting reading at a desk all day, you just wanted to get through the traditional family dinner and get straight into bed.
You were sitting in your usual chair, facing your mother while your father sat at the head of the table. It’d been eerily silent from the moment you’d sat down but didn’t mind given your exhaustion.
Suddenly, your father put down his utensils, “I’ve set up a dinner, next week with the neighbors boy,”
Thinking you hadn’t heard correctly, you turn to face him, “pardon?”
“It’s about time that you start thinking of settling down,” your father continues, “most normal girls your age are on their way to having their first child,”
You hear the implication in his voice even if he hadn’t outright said it. Irritated, you push your plate away.
“I am a normal girl, dad,” 
You hear your mother sigh, but you can’t seem to look away from your fathers face that twitches in irritation.
“You know what I meant,” he says your name as if it's a burden. He says it as if you were a curse on his normalcy.
You roll your eyes, “yes I know exactly what you meant, father, and I’m not going to be dressed up like some doll to be paraded for the neighbors boy,”
Another twitch, you know you are pushing him too far, but you can’t seem to care anymore.
“He is of good breeding and a wealthy background,” he picks up his utensils again, “the dinner will be on Monday,”
“Breeding?! I’m not cattle, father,” 
Your fathers face contorts into a scowl and you know he’s losing patience with you, “He will assure you are the last of your kind in my bloodline,”
You can feel your whole body shaking, “I will not go to that dinner, father,”
You hear your mother whisper your name, you suddenly realize that the shaking wasn’t just within your body but the whole house. With your emotions rampant you couldn’t control your powers as naturally as you normally could.
Breathing in and breathing out, you calm yourself enough to stop the shaking. Your father, however, is maroon with malice. You have pushed him too far.
“I will not let my grandchildren be the offspring of a freak and a paralytic!”
You feel your heart stop. Your mind is racing, unstoppable thoughts wreak havoc in your head. He knew. He knew and now your life is over.
“Father-”
“You thought I wouldn’t find out?” Your father continues to yell, “you thought I’d let you disobey me without consequence?”
You could feel your breathing increase as you enter a panic. Everything is muffled, your father continues yelling but you can’t hear a thing he is saying. You have to get away. You have to get to Charles. 
Without realizing, you stand, turning to leave the table, trying to find an escape. With one step, your father is in front of you, rough hands clamping down on your shoulders, forcing you still.
“Let me go,” you whisper, looking down away from your father. 
“I forbid you from seeing that man again!” 
“Let me go,” you feel the ground tremble beneath you.
“He’s one of you isn’t he?” Your fathers grip tightens on your shoulders, “he’s a freak!”
“Let me go!” You shout back in his face. You don’t initially feel the strike, but you can feel the heat begin to blossom around your eye. And you feel the ground erupt into endless shudders as you watch your father lose his balance and fall to the floor.
With the last of your strength, you run towards your room grabbing your research and your puppy that likes to sleep under your bed. As you race to the front door, you glance at your mother fussing over your father, who is still laid on the floor.
Stopping you turn to face your parents, “I am not a freak. Just because I am different doesn’t mean I’m lesser than,”
You turn to open the front door and with foot out your childhood home, you turn one last time, “I’ll never treat my children the way you’ve treated me, mutant or not,”
With those final words, you run into the rain, hailing the first taxi you see.
It wasn’t until you were at Charles’ front door, drenched and with your puppy under your coat, that you realized how bleak your situation truly was. 
No home, no parents, no education. 
With nothing left to lose, you knock as loudly as you can, hoping anyone would hear you over the pounding rain.
Almost immediately, the door swings open. 
Hank at first looks at you with confusion and then concern. He drags you inside and in the same breath yells for Charles.
The second you see Charles look of concern as he approaches you, you feel the tears start to form in your eyes. Finally able to let go, you feel yourself crumble with the weight of the night.
In no time, Charles holds you in his arms, stroking your soaked hair, whispering into your ear, “it’s okay darling you’re safe now, you’re safe here,”
Once you’ve calmed down, you pull away from him holding your own weight again. His hands don’t leave your face, careful with your already bruising eye.
He whispers your name. He whispers it like prayer, like there’s no one else in the world except you and him. He strokes your cheek with his thumb, “How about we run you a warm bath?”
With no strength left to speak and knowing you didn’t need to, you nod into his hands, closing your eyes and soaking in the comforting warmth he exudes. From within your jacket, you feel your puppy shuffle, stuck in between your torso and Charles’ legs. Pulling away slightly, your puppy leaps away from you and begins sniffing around Charles’ wheelchair.
“I see you’ve brought a friend, darling,” he chuckles, as he watches your puppy continuing to adventure.
You hiccup trying to find the words, “I couldn’t leave him in that house,”
Charles looks back at you, his blue eyes wide adoration, “he has a home here, he’ll always a home here,”
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maoxyi · 3 days
Text
To let go (part 9)
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Franky crashes into a wall and falls on his face. Ah what the hell. He doesn’t understand how he could pass out and find himself crashing into walls. How the hell did he even get into a building in the first place. Where even is he. As he stands, he smells smoke. He feels the building shake a little. He looks up and-
“WHY THE HELL AM I HERE!” The shock that explodes within him leaves him shaking. He knows this place. He knows. He could never, ever forget.
Ennies Lobby wasn’t something he could simply forget.
“What the hell…” He shakes his head. What on Earth… he walks towards the big doors that he remembers lead to Lucci. Where his captain beat that asshole to the ground. He grins and feels the itch to pose. It WAS a super moment after all and deserves one. He pushes the doors open and is greeted with the sight of a body on the floor. He hesitates in shock for a moment before running forwards.
“Hey! You alright!” He calls and comes to a halt when the person turns their head towards him. That was definitely Luffy. He’d recognise him anywhere. He may not understand what’s going on right now or why, but it didn’t matter to him. He kneels down and scoops his captains small frame into his arms as carefully and gently as his huge self can. His captain is bloodied and bruised. Beaten and broken. Struggling to breathe as he lays in his arms.
“Oh… Franky. You-you look different. Though I don’t think the me who knows you would really think much about it. You look super cool.”
“And you look like you could be much better.”
“Shishi, that's true.”
“Luffy what… what’s going on here?”
“Well can’t you see? We’re in Ennies Lobby silly!” He hacks out a cough and a little blood droplet falls on his skin but he pays no mind. Though he feels as though he should.
“Are you dying right now?”
“Well no. I felt like I would have back then but no. I don’t feel anything. Since I’ve felt it already. Not that I know yet.”
“Already… so we’re… in the past?”
“Past? I don’t know. Maybe you are but I’m not. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be stuck.”
“Stuck? Can’t you get out? Where’s Chopper?”
“Chopper? Well I don’t know. There’s only ever me. Me and Lucci sometimes. Only when he shows up.” Now Franky doesn’t really understand how or why he’s here at this moment. He supposes he’s meant to save his captain. From what he isn’t sure. Himself? His mind? His memories? Maybe he’s in his mind right now. He’s never tried to repair anything in a mind before. That would be SUPER difficult.
“But… How do I help? How can I help you?”
“You can’t. This is… this is what I have to do. In order to protect you all in the future. I have to keep getting stronger. I have to keep fighting. I… can’t let anyone take you away from me. I have to be a good captain.”
“I… see. But you’re already the best captain any of us could ask for.” He whispers to him softly as the small hands that come out of his giant palms remove hair out of his young, tired face and he feels a stab in his heart. A pain. He’s… he’s never realised how small he was. How young. This is his captain. His captain. His super strong and SUPER kind captain. He loves his captain he really does.
“No I’m not. I lost two of my crew. Two, Franky. I didn’t meant to. I truly didn’t and it burns me up that I did.” The burning he feels makes Franky flinch. He burns along with him. He’s always connected to others emotions easily.
“You…” He has to swallow past the lump building in his throat to continue talking. “You can’t blame yourself for that.”
“I can. Or more… I did.”
“That’s true but you… that’s not very super.” Luffy giggles at him and it makes Franky smile a little. They talk like he isn’t bleeding out in his arms. Like it’s normal.
“It isn’t but she left us, Franky. Just like Usopp did. Right after he did. Right after I failed to be a good captain. Just like Nami has.” Franky doesn’t want to think of Sanji. He doesn’t want to think of it. “How many more of you will leave me Franky? I have to be strong enough. No matter how many times you leave, i have to be strong enough to get you back. No matter how hard. I will get my family back.”
“Lu…” and Franky can understand that. He can understand doing anything and everything to bring back your family. He can remember trying to stop them from taking Tom. He can understand but… he knows that it can’t be done alone. No one person can do it alone. “You can’t do it alone.”
“What?”
“You can’t do it alone, little brother. No matter what you think.”
“But-“
“No. You know what’s not super? Thinking you can do it all alone. You know what is super? Letting us help you.”
“But… but I’m the captain.”
“And I’m the shipwright.”
“Yes.”
“Does that make me less part of the crew? Does that make it so that I don’t care about our crew more than you?”
“No!” Luffy tries to at least sit up a little but physically cannot do it, his eyes wide and terrified. “Never! That’s not true Franky you’re awesome! You’ll be part of our crew soon! You’ll be our family!” Franky lifts his leg up to lean Luffy on it so he can sit up slightly.
“I am very super yes. So then, what do you think? What would we do in that situation?”
“Situation?”
“If one of our crew leaves? Do you think we would sit around and wait for you to go get them? Is that what happened here?”
“…no…”
“Of course not. You all TOGETHER took on the world! You burned the flag! All for Robin and she saw how loved she was. It was a SUPER moment!” He’s aware there are tears and he’s aware of the wild grin on his face. He probably looks insane. His captain, bless him, forces a hand up to wipe his face and he’s sure it leaves blood smeared on him. He doesn’t care. He SUPER doesn’t care right now. “Together, we will take on anything. We are SUPER family, Luffy.”
“Franky… but what about Usopp… that was my fault.”
“It wasn’t. Not completely.”
“But it was me who fought and…”
“Of course there’s going to be fighting. Of course there will be moments like that but… he apologised. He comes back Luffy.”
“He… he does?”
“Yeah and we’re all together. You don’t have to be afraid Luffy. You don’t have to be SUPER on you’re own. You don’t have to be. We can help you.”
“…Ok.”
“I will build you a bridge that will take us directly where we need to go. I will fix the path and make it easier for us. Everyone else will help. We can do this together Luffy. You’re never ever alone. You will never be alone again.” Maybe to this Luffy he’s lying. He’s lying because he will be. He doesn’t mean for it but he’s swears to him. He swears to the Luffy that can’t hear him. The one he’s trying to save. He’s promised. He’s sworn. He will make sure he keeps that promise.
“Ok.” Luffys tears fall like leaves in the autumn. Soundless and free. “Ok. I… don’t want to be alone anymore. I want everyone’s help.” Franky nods proudly. “It’s… it’ll be hard. In the future.”
“It super will be.”
“But all I need is you all. I will be ok.”
“That is right. Now.” He slowly stands, careful not to hurt him. “Where the hell is Chopper. Real or not you have to be looked at. I can’t take looking at you like this.” For once, Luffy grins.
“Maybe outside? There’s a lot of noise coming from out there.” And he’s right. Franky had been focused solely on Luffy and ignored every noise and shake that occurred. He laughed. “Watch out!” Luffy yells and Franky jumps out of the way as Luccis fist connects to with the concrete. Franky wastes no time to dash for the doors.
“THIS IS SUPER UNCOOL WHERE DID HE EVEN COME FROM? FUCK OFF!” He screams over his shoulder and Luffy leans his head back and laughs. As he dodges and runs and deflects the attacks, Luffy laughs and laughs and laughs. Reaching for the doors, Franky pauses before placing Luffy on the floor. The boy looks up, puzzled. Franky smirks at him before he punches Lucci squarely in the face, sending him flying through the walls. Back then he couldn’t fight him, but now he was strong enough.
“That’s for tormenting my captain you piece of shit.” He hisses. He turns to Luffys bright smiling face. There’s sparkles in his eyes when he picks him up and opens the door.
“That was so cool!” And yeah Franky thinks to himself. He is pretty super.
But he can’t be who he is without his captain and crew.
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anna-scribbles · 6 months
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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edwinisms · 2 months
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see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept
#ranging from vaguely upper class (niko and charles via comic logic) to presumably quite wealthy (edwin) to straight up ultrarich (crystal)#well off but doesn’t own a mansion -> owns a mansion -> owns several mansions in several countries#but yeah that aside. I don’t like the idea of him being raised upper class or even upper middle and yes I know he went to a private catholic#school that presumably costs a decent amount of money but for one we don’t Know how much exactly by that point in time (I’m assuming it was#more prestigious and expensive back in edwin’s day) and it’s not like middle class or even working class people can never afford#to send their one (1) kid to catholic school. like that’s really not too unusual. I know this is an american example but im thinking about#lady bird and her catholic school situation- her family was financially unstable and still paid for Catholic school because it was (in their#opinion) the best offering for an education in the neighborhood (and as someone who lives in the same city in the same Area of the same#city I can tell you that that choice does make sense even for a non-catholic. the public schools round here can be uhhhhhh rough)#so im seeing charles’ situation sorta like that#his dad seems like the type to want him ‘kept in line’ and ‘whipped into shape’ and I think he’d pay for that if he could manage it#idk something about charles is just……he has an appeal by being the Normal Kid amongst them. not raised as anything special. not having all#his needs met. never expecting to do anything super grand with his life. just a city kid yknow#anyway SOMEONES gotta know how to cook. I don’t think crystal or edwin have ever had to cook for themselves in their lives and niko seems to#live on instant ramen and i mean I bet she can cook very basic japanese meals but that’s about it#please for the love of god tell me charles learned some stuff from his mom and can cook an adequate meal#I know ghosts don’t eat but shut up#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives spoilers
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spacespore · 11 days
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months
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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’
#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like#that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to#remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly#hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out#fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break#them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc
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ghoulishcreep · 12 days
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strawberrisoulmate · 1 month
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why am i only just now as an about-to-be-27 year old fully grown adult figuring out that i am more than likely on the autistic spectrum 🫠
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jikigo · 5 months
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you ever just see a post and just
. 😭
.⬅️🫀⬅️
#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up#don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon#outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid#shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the#entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking#ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so#thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck#And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me#There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder#everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend#“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when#you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn#At least someone wants to talk to me#Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others#promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life#Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting#What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something#It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you#Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn#Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place#And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject#Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like#Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me#It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn#I fucking hate everything
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weedpoop · 8 months
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😐
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