#it’s all about the ease of opening
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can't express accurately how happy it makes me that c.s. lewis did not leave room for many interpretations in narnia. it's christian and you can't get around it. susan chose to care more about worldly things than what matters and he said what he said. the lion is Jesus. evil is evil and good is good and people have to choose. and that makes some readers angry because it's nearly impossible to ignore and they want to ignore it. they want it to be something else and they can't make it something else without making it not narnia. love that. that is doing it right
#that's. how. it. should. be#if there's room for interpretation in your writing as a christian you are doing it wrong#if people read your work and get to pick and choose what it means and you left it OPEN to interpretation-#-and they can divorce your fantasy world from the truth? you are doing it wrong#looking at you john ronald reuel#readers you're upset because susan cares more about “nylons and lipstick” than Aslan? 1. that's not really what lewis said#2. you should be upset because she made the wrong decision#and if you're upset because you can't get around the christianity in narnia let me share something with you - that's the point#it's a christian series#it's telling you christian things. this is not lord of the rings. this is not Cool Fantasy World open to interpretation#you can't worship the fantasy world and ignore the christian truths#you can't separate the two. that's what it should be#that's what all christian writing should be#if you write something amazing and centuries later people host parades for your fictional world and there's no God in it? no truth?#wrong. you did it wrong. they should not be able to separate the two - unless the point of your writing was to write a cool story#congratulations you wrote a cool story. but did it point people to the truth? unavoidably? no? then what a waste of freaking time#what a waste of a beautiful God-given talent#okay I got off on a tangent#my point is: be upset because Narnia is Christian and you can't get around that with ease#I am so. glad. you can't get around that with ease#this is why Lewis is my favorite author in the root of me#he did it right. this is what we as christian authors should aspire to#not LOTR. Narnia. NARNIA.#christianity#narnia#the chronicles of narnia#thoughts in the tags#doverstar's thoughts#writing#authors
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Yeah there’s gonna be plenty of little details in s5 confirming byler, but there’s one thing in particular that I feel like would be too hilarious to pass up on…
#byler#stranger things#this is so funny to me tho#bc in the show#the first time we hear the Russian code#the subtitles making us familiar with it#starts us at silver cat feeds then says when blue meets yellow in the west#it then circles back to the beginning#the week is long then the silver cat feeds#and just cuts us off#while we dramatically follow Alexei up the stairs and towards the opening gate#it was set up in s3 with a dramatic cut off that was literally pronounced#until we finally got the whole thing later on#but the fact that they created scores with the titles for the first two lines#cutting us off once again at that part#makes you wonder if there was always a plan to ease the tension of that awkward cutoff#a trip to china sounds nice if you tread lightly#always felt like a sort of p.s. to me in the first part of the code#not that it literally is#but the first three lines flow together#like they all rely on each other to occur#the thing about the blue meets yellow in the west is that it’s so many things#its who when and where#the other the rely on it to make any sense#meaning leaving it out at all doesn’t really make any sense#when blue meets yellow in the west score would be insane actually
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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never not emo about trent becoming part of the nelson road community, joining the diamond dogs, loosening up both like, emotionally/internally and physically/externally
#trent going from cool and aloof and closed off to his truer self--dorky and open and sweet#and he's not a completely different person he's still clever and a little cool#but the posture's different the tension's eased he smiles more he shows how much he cares#and again. like. being a goof!!! more openly!!!#it's kind of gradual but really the striking difference between s3 trent and s1 trent... i love all trents but gosh.#never not gonna be emo about him gaining a community and friends and trust#and being the sweet hearted dork he always was under all the cynicism and fear-born defensive sharpness#and seeing what persists--the wit the writing the words#just. him!!!!!!!!#trent crimm#i'm not saying anything new im just emo about this again#gertspeak
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Okay but why did they never have any holiday themed POI episodes?
More specifically, how come they never had a Halloween episode and played “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell in the background?
#THEY MISSED AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY THATS ALL#BUT ALSO CHRISTMAS#SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN TO TOWN PLAYING AND FINCH AND REESE GIVE EACH OTHER A SIDE EYE WITH ‘HE SEES YOU WHEN YOURE SLEEPING HE KNOWS WHEN—‘#LIKE CMON#also I wanted a team machine secret santa gift exchange in the midst of all the Samaritan craziness#like Reese gets Shaw - Shaw gets Root - Root gets Finch - Finch gets Reese#I’d picture Reese gifting Shaw the keys to his old motorcycle#(cuz he’s a cop now and doesn’t use it)#and it’s in a small box so at first Shaw’s like ‘this better not be a necklace’ and he’s like ‘just open it’#and they’re all aloof and it’s funny but also touching#then I picture Shaw just gifting herself to Root like#*slaps a bow on her head* ‘for the next twenty four hours we can do whatever you want’#and idk they have a girls day (you know getting their nails done - shopping for shoes - going to the gun range - making out - etc)#Root gifts Finch a rare painting or smth sentimental to him like that#but she tries to do it without like stealing anything (to ease his conscience)#(she’s mostly successful)#‘relax Harry I bought this. with money.’ ‘your money?’ ‘…’ ‘it was your money right??’#and idk what Finch gets Reese but I imagine it’s both sentimental and practical so he can use it often#and they have another ‘thanks for giving me a purpose’ moment and it’s gay as hell and we’re all happy#and they all pitch in and buy Fusco some funny ties or smth#and Bear gets lots of toys and treats cuz he’s the best boi#wow uh#you know what I’m not deleting all that imma just keep it in but just to recap this was about Halloween and a funny song they could’ve used#person of interest#poi#john reese#harold finch#sameen shaw#root#🎶song sings🎶
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In honor of my period coming two fucking days early, here’s a menstruation based pjo question.
Who do we think has the worst cramps vs who do we think is one of those lucky ducks who have minimal bleeding and little to no cramps?
#tw mentions of periods#menstruation#can’t really believe I wrote this question💀#actually yes I can periods need to be more normalized#tell me why so many of my friends would always whisper ‘I got my…thing’ and I’d always be like ??? you got your period?#idk why people are so embarrassed about it#but I get it bc I was kind of embarrassed about opening pads in bathrooms bc why are they literally so loud#but I can’t imagine feeling so awkward saying it all the time#like hell no if I have to bleed once a month I will not be ashamed or embarrassed of it#why wasn’t I lucky enough to be one of the lucky ducks#I literally have to beg my uterus to let this one be peaceful and it never works#and I literally cramp up to 4 days before it even gets here#it literally has me anxious the entire week bc I think she’s coming but she never is#and why do people say excersizing eases the pain it’s the opposite for me#it makes it feel like there’s a literal world war going on down there#okay maybe I got a little too detailed in these tags#annabeth chase#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#hoo#heroes of olympus#pjo character headcanons#hoo character headcanons#period headcanons#periods#bloody hell#pjo question#hoo question
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STOP UGH I CANT HANDLE HOW CUTE THIS IS WHEN I KNOW HOW HORRIBLY WRONG ITLL GO SOON
#DAJH HAS CHOCOBO-THEMED STUFF............. OUGHH#ALSO ALSO the way sazh doubts himself in xiii and blames himself for losing sight of dajh that day kills me more now#bc something the book is really good at highlighting is just how at ease the people of cocoon are around each other#they leave crops in the open they approach strangers like its nothing etc#they feel completely safe#sazh had no reason to worry about letting dajh wait in front of the pet store#but because hes a single parent he had to suffer that loss all alone and IM SICKKK#final fantasy xiii#sazh katzroy#dajh katzroy
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bisexual men who I want to sink my teeth into and shake around like a chewtoy
#em is yelling#this is honestly applicable to a bunch of guys but obv i am still losing my mind over yesterday. help#it's so bizarre though like. i don't really feel as many weird attachment things with him? he just. puts me so at ease idk idk#like i've been thinking about him constantly since he dropped me off yesterday but i don't feel as much of an urgent need#to have an immediate response to a message i sent#or constant validation he really likes me#i mean the fact that we first got together when i was 16 and we've both tried to get together like every year since is just like.#a sigh of relief?#this person has been through so much and knows that i have too and is just so open and understanding and kind in such subtle ways#and it's just. a lovely experience to get to know him and feel him in small pockets of time even if that's all we get. yknow?
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anyway i do think something that's helped me is not only to not see my first drafts as "bad" because it's pure baby writing, or seeing them as messy/unrefined, but also to focus on what my biggest strength is at that first stage of writing something and how can i use that to propel the draft forward? so like i think my prose is usually very good at the first draft, usually my prose edits is just condensing things or deepening an image etc. but i love playing with language so it's the easiest way for me to access a draft for the first time. when there's no story on the page my brain understands language and prose best before anything else. but i need more edits for things like structure and pacing and length and hitting the right beats at the right time. which is all like, normal stuff you work on with edits, literally working on every aspect of a story through multiple drafts is So Normal, so instead of thinking about all that and what is missing from a first draft i just focus on what is there for me bc i think whatever you find the easiest at the first draft stage is what shapes + propels ur writing process overall. which is something that is soooo personal because everyone has their own strengths and struggles at different parts of the process !
#this is actually something ive gone back and forward on bc i post a lot of first draft prose#and like. in the screenshots the prose looks good i would not post it if i did not think it was good!#im at a point where i very rarely see my prose as bad because well first of all its my prose. i always like my prose.#but i have a good sense of what prose i like as well. 'bad' prose for me is more just something isnt working as i planned#and i need to figure that out. anyway its been weird for me sometimes bc the thing#i find the easiest at the first draft stage is also the most 'visible'. like i can post a beautiful first draft line#but you can't see all the structural issues my first drafts usually have. that line is probably from a messy as fuuuuuck chapter LOL#which is okay! that's just how it is! but i want to be more open about#not only just what i find hard on a first draft but also what i find easy#which for me is prose but another writer could find ease w the things i struggle with i.e. plot beats
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So sorry if this is bothering you but so curious as well... why do you hate Guts?
Thanks for your time ❤
you’re not bothering me!
I think the simplest way to answer this is with one of Olivia’s own lyrics from pretty isn’t pretty when she sings “none of it matters and none of it ends” because. That is kind of her whole ethos about how life works. She believes that! And so her work, to me, is profoundly cynical and self-absorbed because it can’t point to anything bigger (none of it matters) so it revolves purely around her own feelings. It won’t ever situate itself in a wider picture. And I love whining in a song tbh. I love when an artist captures those uglier emotions —the discontent, the restlessness, the irritation, the blandness and staleness of it all and the railing against it—because those are all part of the human experience. I am continually shocked—it is shoCKING—by how many negative emotions I can and do experience over and over again. But it is thankfully against the backdrop of reality. My bad moods are something that can be so unpleasant to feel and so ugly to witness—I wrestle with how ugly and small my suffering is—but there is a way in which, all discourse about the validity of any and all of my feelings accounted for, those aren’t real. Just symptoms of my suffering and sometimes my convalescence (lol, love a symptom of convalescence) but reality is still always so much realer. It’s always ready to break in a million times a day; the beauty and sturdiness of reality, the texture of existence, as Flannery O’Connor once said, is always there and with enough time (and with patience and help and love) I can get back to contact with it. Not just the state of my own mind full of bitterness and worry and pain, endlessly stewing in its own unhappiness.
I am not good at that, it takes a lot to get me there. But I guess my point is—to circle back—Olivia’s music doesn’t try and doesn’t want to. Its scope is so narrow, every song no matter how pleasing at first eventually sours (lololololol) because it’s JUST rooted in her own experience, generally her own suffering. And there’s no sharpness or cleverness in the world (she can be both sharp and clever!) that can hide that lack of range. So you hear a song once—for me, it was brutal—-and you’re like YEAH. I recognize this kind of whininess because I’ve felt it before. There is something true to it! But the more she writes the more you watch her do it over and over again (sonically, too, she loves to speak-talk and tbh they’re just sub-par remixes of brutal) the more you start to be like “oh, is that it? We’re not going anywhere with this? There’s no turn or catharsis or bridge or anything that lifts us out of this even for a second?” and it’s just —blegh.
And the thing is there doesn’t even have to be, like, some triumphant girlboss victory where she feels better. I’m not saying her songs are bad because they’re sad and depressing. It’s that they establish no outside contact with reality. They are, for all her clever little film-noir references or whatever, only ever self-referential. And that gets old so fast no matter who is talking.
#yes of course I contrast her with Taylor#Taylor can be beautifully petty and restless and sad and insecure and her songs are never just about her#They are always situated in a broader picture of reality. They go down to the roots of things. Of humanity and love and the human condition#and it’s just. It’s so much bigger. It is not stifling#and that’s the staying power and that’s the inherent hopefulness she has and that’s her desire to know the truth and speak the truth#Even when she’s getting it wrong it’s all still there#anyway it’s funny because Taylor gets accused of what Olivia actually is doing so much more than Olivia#people love to pretend that Taylor is a wallower and self-indulgent#and yes there’s a very human humanity to the expression of her emotions. There IS brattiness there is anger#but the core is so good that those things become what they are —only the endearing and funny trappings of her expression#never the heart#it’s why Taylor wears so well and also why sometimes she is jarring on first listen. You can just hear the dissonance (for me too)#But it’s like that one tweet said. Doesn’t matter if you like a taylor song on first listen. You WILL eventually#and it’s so true. And that’s the quality drawing you in#Olivia (and much of gen z tbh) is kind of the opposite: the humanity is in the trappings#She’s fairly easy to listen to and like ….. at first#the humanity and cleverness and beauty such as they are are on the surface#there’s a deceptive ease and an openness that doesn’t actually lead you anywhere#It leaves you empty because it’s just all kind of built on the fumes of a bad mood tbh#turning off reblogs lol#Anyway thank you for asking and giving me this opportunity to speak#all opinions are mine and that’s what they are. If anyone feels differently more power to you. Go forth and enjoy guts#Just putting all my caveats here
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I often think about "Well Camila was motherly to Amity, Gus, and Willow too does that make her their mom too?" Like. Yes??? Do y'all not get how found family works?
Like she was fully willing to raise all of them and I doubt that'll change like do you think that she wouldn't want to meet up with their parents and collaborate with them? She was raising their kids for months, it's kind of similar to a foster parent situation like they all have their biological parents and they are going to return and live with them but I fully believe they all think of Camila as a mother/call her mom?
Not in the way where any of them are Luz's siblings of course (Hunter and her are different imo just cause Luz was sisterly towards Hunter long before Camila was involved anyway) and in Amity's case it's very obviously a situation of "of course you can call me mom, you're dating my daughter/family" like is completely normal for their situation.
But like, with Gus and Willow "Luz's mom" becomes just "mom" and that's natural to them considering neither of them even have mothers so it's not like she's replacing anyone with that title.
Would she legally adopt them? No she has no reason to do that but that doesn't make her less of a mother to them. Eda doesn't legally adopt Luz but she's still Luz's 2nd mom? Luz is still King's sibling?
It's just weird the way that Camila's role in these children's lives is minimized so much that's the whole hexsquad's mom now no take-backsies whether or not they still officially live with her or not is irrelevant.
[Dadrius deniers/haters DNI y'all are annoying, Darius has so much fatherly swag it's unreal.]
#camila noceda#putting it in her tag specifically since this post is abt her don't derail/lh#it's kind of a foster parent type situation like yes Camila is not parent no 1 for these 3 yes they had homes to return to already but#like an actually good foster parent will be she's part of the team of people dedicated to keeping these kids safe and raising them like#she's still important to these kids she's their mom and she was there for them when their parents physically could not be and she'll#continue to be their mom even after they return to their parents like she has no reason NOT to be their her kids#anyway the double standard with how Eda can adopt other people's kids and show a lot less affection to some of them ppl hc as her kids#and no one really questions it vs how Camila will open her home and be team mom and be fully invested in their lives#and in their and their parents' recoveries and how all of them will be fully at ease with her and feel safe around her and she treats#them with the same care and compassion as she does Luz and Vee and people will be like 'she's just being nice tho it doesn't mean anything'#is insane to me#anyway darius and camila are holding hands over ppl being so annoying about them they are besties now
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We’ve talked in the past about Julia’s red shirt (in her season 1/season 4 outfit) showing her sympathy towards Carmen. What about other parts of her outfits?
First, to contrast with the red shirt peeking through her dark pantsuit, we have Julia’s ACME suit.
[ID : two cropped screenshots from the 2019 show Carmen Sandiego. The first one shows Julia Argent on the train in India, in her dark suit with red shirt outfit. The second one shows Julia in Rio de Janeiro, in her ACME suit. End ID]
The ACME suits, being uniforms, are all the same (the biggest difference being skirts for the women vs pants for the men), the same way the agents are asked for uniformity, conformity and following orders.
The suits have no color apart from a navy so dark it’s close to black - in fact, depending on the lighting they look almost black and white. Quite like their way of thinking.
[ID : a screenshot from the 2019 show Carmen Sandiego. Agent Zari and Random White Agent stand on either side of a door. They are in the shadows and their uniforms look dark and desaturated. End ID]
As I noted on a previous post, at the same time Julia receives her suit and as such lets go of her red shirt, she is asked to renounce her feelings that Carmen is innocent. Season 2, where she almost exclusively wears the ACME uniform, is the one where Julia briefly doubts Carmen and struggles to reconcile following her superior’s orders with her convictions. Ultimately, when she does not manage it, she resigns (season 3) and as such goes back to her red shirt outfit. It is in that outfit that she teams up with Carmen in a substantial way in season 4.
Other agents (and, notably, agent Zari, the most featured ACME agent apart from Julia and Chase) tend to wear black gloves. In line with their behavior, this suggests keeping a distance with their environment, refusing to feel things too deeply. Julia doesn’t wear gloves, however, not even in Stockholm where the weather would definitely justify it. Despite Chief's insistance, Julia keeps paying attention to her feelings.
Then, Julia’s glasses. Her glasses in seasons 2-3 are ACME regulation eyewear : once again, they’re part of the uniform, so the same model as the other ACME agents. Big, bulky, they’re almost rectangle in shape, all sharp angles : this suggests rigidity and an absence of flexibility in ACME’s mentality. Also note the dark lenses : they symbolically obscure the vision.
[ID : a screenshot from the 2019 show Carmen Sandiego. In Indonesia, Zari and Random White Agent stand against the sky. Their glasses' lenses are noticeably very dark. End ID]
And what about Julia’s original glasses, the ones she wears before joining ACME and those she returns to as she leaves ? They are the exact opposite of the ACME glasses : round and clear, what you need to look at the world as it is.
[ID : a cropped screenshot from the 2019 show Carmen Sandiego. In San Francisco, Julia wears her red shirt outfit with her round glasses. End ID]
#carmen sandiego 2019#julia argent#if you think i'm reading too much into this. yeah. i'm me. reading too far into tiny details is what i do#(though tbh i keep going from 'this is reaching right?' to 'this is so obvious i'm breaking down an open door' so...)#and let me tell you i'm having the time of my life#you wouldn't imagine the glee i felt thinking about this#mentally i'm lying oin my bed giggling and kicking my feet as i type this#that post wasn't lying. the most fun a girl can have is analyzing making connections seeing patterns etc#anyway with all that (see: post) in mind if i had been in charge of the show i would a. have put julia in a uniform with pants#oh my god that skirt is the ugliest thing i've seen in my life.#also i want julia to be butcher#b. maybe more importantly i would have made julia wear her uniform sliiiightly wrong#like sometimes her tie isn't well fastened. or her vest is partially unbuttoned#or like that moment in rio where she says she still believes in carmen's innocence and her glasses are low and she has to recenter them#(they sort of have that with the gloves but she's not the only agent not to wear them so it doesn't really go all the way)#idk. like she tries to fit it tries to just put her head down and work tries to get into that mold acme wants her to be in#and she's. not terrible at it. she's used to being discrete and working well#with only a quick look you think she's perfectly in line with the other agents. a closer look however tells you otherwise#and shows you how she's not quite at ease with what's asked of her and it makes her miserable#which leads to her leaving acme later#do you see my vision
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hi, if you don't mind me asking (since i saw you reblog a post about the orv webtoon): how far into the novel is the webtoon, approximately, now that it's starting the dark palace (?) arc? is there still a long way to go, would you say? sincerely, a huge webtoon orv fan who is trying to muster up the strength to pick up the novel
Hi, anon!! I'm so excited you asked this, because I myself picked up the webnovel right around the dark castle arc! So, um... yeah, chapter 172 of the webtoon is chapter 151 and a good portion of chapter 152 of the webnovel, and there are 551 chapters of the webnovel total. (To be even more precise, with the formatting I have on my phone, chapter 172 covers up to 2290 pages out of 8807 pages-- just over a quarter of the way through the story both ways.) There is, uh, QUITE a ways to go
That said!!!! I literally cannot recommend the webnovel enough, and this is from someone who started with the webtoon as well and then transferred straight to the webnovel where it left off at the time! The webnovel is such a different experience, since there are so many small characterization details that the webtoon doesn't adapt, and I actually bitterly regret not starting the webnovel from the start (I'm in the process of backreading, and I find new things to scream about every day!). There's no rush at all to read the webnovel all at once when the webtoon will take so long to finish, but at the same time, the pacing is so addicting that you'll probably speed through it till you're caught up or even beyond regardless! In case you'd like it, here's some info on accessing the epub file :) Happy reading!!!!
#i would honestly highly recommend not only starting from the beginning for the completionist factor#but because it'll ease the adjustment of jumping from a graphic novel format to the webnovel's writing style!!#i remember being thrown off and confused for the constellation banquet (the first arc i read fully in the novel)#and starting from the top def would've changed that#not to mention that once again you'll pick up on a lot of context and characterization that's woefully omitted from the manhwa#and again anon! while the novel is undoubtedly a fuckin Commitment‚ it is SO so worth it. one of the best goddamn books i've ever read#so please don't be intimidated by length!! start from the top to use the opening as a litmus test for the writing style#and then you can skim or skip around from there if you want! (but also don't do that. read all of it. it's so worth it)#my sincere apologies for this getting so long and possibly incoherent but that's because i am SOOO passionate about the novel#and i REALLY think you should give it a try if you're already a fan of the webtoon!!!#you can always think of it this way: the manhwa's already gonna take like 6 years to finish‚ the book can't take you much longer!#asks#anonymous#kay talks#orv#orv rec tag
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just another diary entry obvs
#i still feel so sad#yk i mean i take things very deeply very personally im sure some people remember may '21 lol#but this is just very hard for me because im so confused#why would you let resentment build towards someone about something they dont even know theyre doing to bother you#to the point that youre hurting the other person and they dont even know why for the longest time#it hurts a lot it wasnt even addressed at all until i brought it up bcs i couldn't stand not knowing and yet feeling so hurt and confused#i needed to know it wasn't in my head and i was right#but now im second guessing everything they talked to me so normally said they care about me all the way up until the day before#but ive felt the distance for a while so do they love me like they said or was that not true#if they dont then im such an idiot i really care about them i really respect them and love them#idk im really hurting very badly#really stupid for a 25 yr old to feel so hurt because they annoyed someone#but i just wish it was addressed sooner and for someone who prides themselves on being open and honest and direct..#it feels like they maybe just didnt care enough to talk to me about it.#so yk maybe they dont care about me.#which also feels like an offensive conclusion to come to about them when they dont lie and value honesty and openness so much#i dont want to think they dont love me bcs i do think i know them pretty well i do think theyd never lie about that#but maybe ive only convinced myself of that because it would hurt far worse if they didnt#whatever anyways im so stupid and i know i must have fucked things up by being too much again.#ill leave them alone and the hurt will ease up eventually#their friendship has meant a lot to me theyve done a lot for me i dont want to lose it completely i really dont#i just dont regulate well how much i care for my friends and its too much sometimes its one of the worst things about me#but i genuinely want my friends to know theyre loved and thought of and cared about and i mean it#and i cant always tell when i hit overbearing so i fuck things up.#anyways i am sorry i made someone i care about feel overwhelmed and i regret that i made them uncomfortable for i dont even know how long#im hurt but thats the worst thing i couldve done#okay ill shut up now stop talking about it its just still fresh to me obviously cant talk abt it on twt and they dont follow me here#i needed to vent without my irl friends 'fuck them' attitude bcs theyre a good person and friend and it does feel like its only my fault#for the most part anyways minus yk the communication bit#but we'll circle back to the do they even count us friends doubts and we dont need that ill move on now needed to get it off my chest
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So uh I've gone completely insane and started writing an analysis on shadow because my thoughts about him as a character is so scattered. And I am on sa2 still and haven't even talked about when he meets Rouge but like uh- 1125 words already :,)) HELP--
(Also a really interesting correlation I have found out is when he found out about Rouge being an agent by G.U.N, or in other words working for the government, he calls her a pathetic creature. Which can correlate to when he's on Radical Highways bridge looking at all the policemen and goes "pathetic" when looking at them. Showing his distrust and how he doesn't find value in the government because not only did they try to lock him away in a very top secret place. But they also killed Maria and at that moment with Rouge, he would have felt very betrayed. He saw her as a teammate and was starting to trust in her. After all he did save her, he wouldn't have imo if he had known she was working under the government. I just find it interesting how he uses "pathetic" specifically when it comes anyone working under the government (or as far as I have seen). I do like that later on he does join GUN in 06 and archie. However I won't get too much into that, I've rambled enough lmao)
#Its keeping me at least at ease from all the school work i have#which in other words#work im not getting done#jkjk dw im caught up for the most part at least#why am i able to ramble on about a fictional hedgejog for hours on straight#but cant even open the textbook for ljke 5 minutes#my god#anyways#sth#shadow the hedgehog#rambling#again im spitballing so if it isnt really clear on what im expressing i apologize#because so much thoughts on this hedgehog my brain is rotting
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Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow
#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard#but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better#haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more#to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow#my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest#idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself#except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of#again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this#but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head#just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment#i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post#NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space#i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how#okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope#open mick night
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