#i have discovered in this process that i try too hard to make myself palatable and ultimately give others nothing to work with

[an-absolute-nightmare]

the thing about social interaction is that it is an essential skill that i never learnt and whatever of it existed was only grievously impaired during the pandemic so i'm trying to learn it by aggressively throwing myself into social situations even though it is difficult. surely something will stick

[bettsfic]

betts i want to get back into writing but i find my ideas so stupid and unoriginal and i think I've lost touch with what im trying to say or what i naturally used to gravitate towards before trying to make myself more palatable to others

it sounds like you've hit a writing ceiling, anon.

i think when you get better at something, progress doesn't happen at a slow, even pace. you work at one level for a long time and then suddenly you're ready to level up, and it can happen so fast that it's disorienting. sometimes there's not even a reason for it. your brain is just, "bored now, let's gooooo," like a kid tugging your arm desperate to get out of there.

but there's kind of an awkward elevator period too, where you're on your way to the next level but not on the floor of the previous one. it's a very frustrating space to be, because all you can do is wait for the doors to open, and you never know how long it's going to take.

it sounds like if you're coming back to writing from a long time away, you're visiting the floor you were on the last time you wrote, when you really belong on the next. you're bringing a new lens to old work. so you've gotta find the elevator or a stairwell or a jetpack or whatever to get you to the next floor.

ultimately what i think is stupid and unoriginal might be life-changing for someone else. and what i think is important and profound, someone else might find trite and meaningless. i try to make myself actually shape those two people in my mind. maybe some 21 year old fanperson who has no idea if they'll ever make it as a writer will read my stuff and go, "if she can do this, i can do this." (to which i say, yes you can!) and maybe a well-meaning 60 year old man will read my stuff and go, "the hell even is this? what am i reading?" both perspectives are equally valid, because once my work is being read it is no longer about me. it's about the reader who is bringing their entire life to each of my sentences, and reading it for their own personal benefit. your work will never benefit everyone, but it will benefit a few, and you can focus on writing to the eager younger person who needs to hear what you have to say, and not the middle aged man who has to get his daughter to reboot his phone. that man has tom clancy to read. but that eager younger person has you.

what sucks about being on the elevator is that it's made of glass and you're looking down on the floor you just came from. you're seeing the work of your past self from the audience of your present self. and all you can do is wave goodbye to that last floor and look up to the next one. sometimes that takes some searching. for me, it often takes simple patience and a chosen mindset that i need to be paying close attention to the things the world is trying to tell me, because those are the things that will get me off this stupid elevator.

and while you're waiting for that, if you still want to be generating words, focus on mechanics, craft techniques, really nitty gritty tedious stuff that's hard to focus on when you're in a high inspiration state. do research. read as much as you possibly can and set down anything that doesn't keep your attention. try creative stuff that isn't writing, like poetry or drawing. if you do all that stuff with the knowledge that you're about to set off into something new, every single crumb of it will inform your future work. it's like getting the nursery ready for a baby. i know i say "there's no writing wasted" a lot but it goes beyond that--there's nothing wasted. every single thing you encounter has the opportunity to offer inspiration that might help you get to that next floor.

so if you're looking for something to try, my advice is just to listen. don't form thoughts or opinions of your work while you're in the elevator. play and discover and experiment. focus on process, not product. really sit in the physical act of writing. sit in your sentences. pay close attention to everything that isn't the floor you were just on.

and if you're not looking for something to try, know that i can definitely relate to the struggle, and i hope your elevator ride is swift.

[docholligay]

Chinese Food in The American West

One of the things I frequently come across as a student of the American West* is that people get most of their information from movies and TV and then act like they know things. Wyatt Earp was not a Lawful Good champion who always did his level best even when it was hard to know. (You want Seth Bullock or Bass Reeves). Racism was far more complicated than white vs not white (I’ve talked about this EXTENSIVELY in Strange Empire, so I’m not going to bore you here**). 

And they didn’t just eat steak. In fact, they rarely ate steak. 

Steak as cowboy food isn’t INACCURATE, but it is MODERN. From about the early 1900s on, you had less and less drives and more and more ranchers who were staying put, with less and less hands needed, and so food was grabbed less “on the go.” Cows could be slaughtered and used to feed the family, allowing for more opportunities for things like steak, yes, but also things like chili, a play on sauerbraten, southern-style biscuits. The cattle drives were a real blend of culture and race, and a lot of what we have left as “Western food” owes a great deal to that. 

And if we leave the cattle drives and head into the towns of the American West, as we will today, we find things like oysters, pies, and various things like that. Far more well-heeled than the general expectation. 

I mean, here’s the menu from the Occidental Saloon circa the late 1880s:

Soups

Chicken Giblet and Consumme, with Egg

Fish

Columbia River Salmon, au Beurre Noir

Relieves

Filet a Boeuf, a la Financier

Leg of Lamb, Sauce, Oysters

Cold Meats

Loin of Beef, Loin of Ham, Loin of Pork, Westphalia Ham, Corned Beef, Imported Lunches

Boiled Meats

Leg of Mutton, Ribs of Beef, Corned Beef and Cabbage, Russian River Bacon

Entrees

Pinons a Poulett, aux Champignons

Cream Fricasse of Chicken, Asparagus Points

Lapine Domestique, a la Matire d'Hote

Casserole d'Ritz aux Oeufs, a la Chinoise

Ducks of Mutton, Braze, with Chipoluta Ragout

California Fresh Peach, a la Conde

Roasts

Loin of Beef, Loin of Mutton, Leg of Pork

Apple Sauce, Suckling Pig, with Jelly, Chicken Stuffed Veal

Pastry

Peach, Apple, Plum, and Custard Pies

English Plum Pudding, Hard Sauce, Lemon Flavor

This dinner will be served for 50 cents.

-I got this from the book “Saloons of the Old West” by Erdoes

But none of that is precisely why I’m here, I just can’t stop myself from talking about this, why I’m here is that one of the things I say that often surprises people, is that Chinese food was incredibly common for the, well, common man to eat. There’s very much a conception that we as a non-Chinese American  people did not start eating Chinese food until the 40s and 50s, and its truer that it took longer to catch on in the American East than the West simply as a matter of proximity and choice. 

Not MORE choice but LESS. Part of what made the West so unique, historically, is that the lack of choice and the basic scarcity caused people to work with and patronize people that their general prejudices would have kept them from using back east, because they had CHOICES. But out in the west, less so. There were few choices for a quick, cheap meal on the go. That dinner I just posted above is a lavish affair, and a great deal at approximately $20.00 in today’s money. (Which does not allow for the fact that cost of supplies has gone up and this dinner would most likely be offered for no less than 70 or so today.) 

People desperately wanted something that was cheap and quick, and the other options in the American West were few, far between, and not intensely pleasing. No one had really come up with the sandwich shop as of yet, and in any case, fresh meats and cheeses would have been too difficult for the low-cost supplier. 

ENTER THE CHINESE POPULATION.

If you have read my Strange Empire blogs, I hope you know that Chinese people were a huge presence in the American West, mostly working for the railroad and various mines, but also doing things like laundry, work that was extremely hard but took little in the way of English speaking. They existed in Chinatowns, for a combination of cultural and legal factors, but it’s a misconception that non-Chinese*** people never went to Chinatown. 

People are not new, and it was not unusual for non-Chinese people to use the laundries, tailoring, and other services of Chinatowns while suppressing the rights of Chinese people int he same breath. There were always individual Chinese people any given non-Chinese person liked and did business with. 

In time, they discovered the inherent wisdom of the noodle bowl. 

I don’t mean to suggest that all these early restaurants served was noodle bowls, but that was where it all started. Remember, Italian food had little prominence in America at the this time, as Italian immigration didn’t really get into full swing until the 1870s in America. While there are noodle traditions half of everywhere, and there is nothing new under the sun, what we today would consider a stir-fry bowl was wildly new to most of the non-Chinese folks in the West. That it could be offered up so cheaply, was so filling, and so delicious (more on this later) was a wild revelation. Everyone from simple cowboys (which, fun fact! Was a slur back then!) to mayors were swinging by Chinatowns to try the dishes. 

By the 1920s, chop suey, a fully Chinese American invention derived from the words for “various leftovers” was a hugely popular American food among all sorts. 

Doc, you may ask, was it just that these folks coming through to get medicines or laundry were SO adventurous? Not at all! Chinese restaurants back then actually, in a very short amount of time, realized that their non-Chinese townsfolk were an excellent way to make money as well, and began to adapt and change dishes to better fit the Western palate, leading what we call American Chinese Food today, which is a legitimate foodway I will defend to my death. Unfortunately, none of these menus survive today--the only ones we have are from places in San Francisco, places that were much more posh, and not the subject of this essay. 

There is a scene in Tombstone where Wyatt and his brothers are eating Chinese food, and it’s one of the things people often ask me about, assuming it’s anachronistic. Actually, it isn’t at all--the anachronism is that there’s broccoli in those noodle bowls, which had not yet hit our shores by the time of the OK Corral. Chinese food was a huge hit, Chinese restaurants were doing extremely well, and some Chinese restaurants were even beginning to attempt to print menus in English, with sit down areas, instead of serving simple fare from food carts. 

As the food from these “chow chow houses” grew in popularity, as we can infer from the advertisements of their competitors promising free potatoes with every meal, and other such niceties to entice, there was, as ever there must be, blowback. Anti-Chinese sentiment grew to a fever pitch, and with this came overt pressure for ‘Good Americans” to patronize ‘American restaurants’. The social pressure is actually where we get some of that old racist jargon about Chinese people serving dogs and cats, which people often think was spread by competitors to degrade the Chinese restaurants, which isn’t UNTRUE, but was just as often said sheepishly by someone who couldn’t stop themselves from going and grabbing a noodle bowl or even the American dishes they offered, such as roast chicken or pork chop sandwiches. 

(I won’t comment with anything but an eyeroll on the bullshit of people saying they’re ~allergic to MSG~ okay I’ll believe you when you stop eating processed food, meat, aged cheese) 

It actually kept this type of reputation as being slightly scandalous well into the early 1900s, as being something you ate after the bar, something to be had in the shadows, but it was all for naught, because Chinese food became an important part of American identity. But for all that, no one ever pictures the Lone Ranger chowing down (the American phrase ‘chow’ for food actually comes from these ‘chow chow houses’) on some chop suey, but there’s every reason to believe he would have. American Chinese food is just as American as the Germanically-influenced hamburger. 

(There’s a whole subtopic to go down about Jewish and Chinese communities and Kosher Chinese Food, two marginalized and othered communities coming together, but that’s a WHOLE other topic) 

(Also someone please buy me Chinese food. This shit always makes me so hungry.) 

*The American West is a specific time period, as far as the study of history goes. It covers the period between the end of the Civil War and the New Century, generally, and is, obviously, concerned with the western half of the country. It doesn’t cover stuff like Lewis and Clark (that’s Expansion) or even the Civil War itself, though you cannot possibly hope to study the American West in any level of seriousness without understanding the Civil War. Anyway! I know a lot about America between 1865 and 1900, and am just knowledgeable enough to be dangerous on everything else. Most History nerds are highly specified like this. We’re not as much help to your trivia team as you think.****

**I actually have had little chance to talk about ~European-style xenophobia~ as it played out in the west, because Strange Empire takes a more modern pass at it. But there was a hierarchy of “whiteness” as well, as still largely exists in Europe, land of intentionally clean ethnostates. 

***I use the term “non-Chinese” instead of white because believe it or not, non-white people were not magically free of racism against Chinese people. It was horrific and BASICALLY every non-Chinese person was guilty of it to some level, a wild-ass level of hatred that led to Chinese folks not being able to PURCHASE PROPERTY BY LAW in ENTIRE STATES. Being Chinese or Native in this place and time was your Worst Bet. 

****I actually was on a competitive trivia team, you DO want me.

[wormmomma]

MIDSOMMAR SPOILER REVIEW: this movie fucking broke me

CW:RAPE, ABUSE, PEDOPHILLIA

“Midsommar” is a grimm fairytale of sorts. A fairly different homage to the cult film the “wicker man”. “The wicker man” is about a european cult being investigated by a british christian cop, “midsommar” avoids the christian indictment of pagan/occult religious practices. midsommar attempts to be an out and out horror film unlike the a genre bending murder mystery/horror/thriller roots of “The wicker man”. Director ari aster obviously wanted to add to the annals of folk horror by creating an ambitious beautifully horrific and sometimes downright psychedelic film. Ari aster wanted to make a film where you can’t hide from the horror as it all happens in front of you. It's also a breakup movie for some reason? As someone who has seen the theatrical cut twice and the director's cut once I can assure you it misses the mark when taking both concepts. If you're wondering  whether not to watch the film i think that on a technical level “midsommar” is beautiful and has amazing cinematography, but the answer is yes, but no. Jordan Peele was shown an advance copy of the film and told Aster "I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time" that high praise. But that  being said for personal reasons this will be my final time seeing the film. I think the director's cut is a gorgeous and amazing three hour film. But as someone personally affected by rape, pedophillia, and the victimization mentally or physically handicapped people i cant reccomend this film wholeheartedly. I'm far from squeamish and love films that revel in shock, horror and extremity but I cannot in good conscious recommend a film I almost walked out on. I think Ari Aster has backpedaled immensely in his ability to create horror that exhibits empathy for his characters and the triumphs and tragedies that he subjects them too. “Hereditary” had an amount of emotional pathos for its characters that was almost completely removed from “Midsomer”. The fim feels unreasonably cruel even for a horror movie. Although enjoyable, proceed with caution “Midsommar” is a beautiful, slow, horrific but ultimately controversial mess of a film. 8/10

 (the rest of this review is a plot synopsis and a meditation on the more controversial passages in the movie and is to be read for those who have actually seen midsommar. Spoilers abound!) 

So what’s it  about? 

Midsommar is about Dani, an anxious and vulnerable young woman dating an emotionally abusive and reserved boyfriend named christian. After her bipolar sister commits suicide and murders both there parents, Dani goes on a european excursion with cristian with his anthropologist friends as they study a swedish cults midsommar summer solstice tradition. Dani reeling not only from having her parents taken from her by their favorite child, but also from the lack of any real emotional support goes on a gorgeous, psychedelia, induced nightmare of the cult horror variety. Immediately after touching down on the swedish cult's beautiful grassy commune christian manipulates dani into taking psychedelics. Christian although quite emotionally stunted and quite meek at his core is very sly and amazing at working people. Watching Christian make Dani do psychedelic drugs (mushrooms i believe) to make her clear refusal to take them into something that not only affects christian but also his friends and everyone around them is almost scary in its hilariously methodical toxicity. This leads to dani having a panic attack and from there the hits just keep on coming. Dani then has to watch as two cultist commit ritual suicide. This traumatic incident further escalated when one jumped off the mountain on his leg and needed to have his head crushed by cult members till it turns to meat and dust. To make a long three hour story with icelandic pacing short lets race to the finish line:

Christian begins to be pursued by a cult member named maja. Dani still reeling from seeing two people commit suicide has her worries invalidated by christian and all of his anthropologist bros. The anthropology bro argues about who deserves to break basically every rule of basic anthropology as they try to see who gets PAID for perverting a culture they were invited to study not disturb. Christian eats one of majas pubes. After pissing on a ceremonial tree for the dead, and taking photos of the forbidden religious text (written by an inbred autistic oracle boy) our two american secondary characters are chopped off. Dani and christian are the final outsiders left standing. Dani joins a dance competition (yes really) and becomes this year's may queen. forever to be immortalized in the annals of white female faces shown in portraits plastered in the sleeping quarters of this matriarchal cult commune. Christian is then raped as we discover how all the bodies of our other character are disposed of. Dani, inebriated and vulnerable, discovers christian being raped by the cult and forced to sleep with the 16 year old maja. Disgusted dani vomits and syncs her cries of pain with the cult sister and finally has her trauma validated. She is given the choice to then murder christian as hes trapped in a paralyzed state. Dani decides to burn christian alive in the body of a bear, finally defeating and overcoming her emotional abuser. Dani smiles as the cult writhes in pain from the death of the cult members burning alive with christian.Dani is happy. She has family. She is home.

So lets (finally) talk about maja

“Look at it from an academic perspective it would provide a unique glimpse into our sexual rights.”

“Can i not have a unique glimpse without participating?”

This is a conversation that is awkwardly cut from the theatrical version of midsommar. Christian is being offered to have sex with maja. Maja is a sixteen year old girl. The closest aster ever comes to revealing this fact is offhandedly mentioning maja having her first period. Christian refuses sex and is raped by maja, and the cult while a fourteen year old disabled child watches. There's a lot wrong with this scene. I’ll be honest for personal reasons I was really disgusted by this scene. I feel like im projecting but rape and pedophellia are really delicate topics and should be treated sensitivity. Ive seen alot of extreme very difficult horror films, i've seen rape, pedophillia, and violence explored in meaningful interesting and empathetic ways even ari asters own work like “meet the johnsons”. But watching maja rape christian with what i would assume are her older siblings, aunts, grandmothers, mother and other cult members as a 14 year old boy watches just made me feel fucking dirty. The weird part: it isn't horrific. While cristian was being raped, the audience I was watching it with were laughing. It wasn't scary. it was funny. It's a cognitive dissonance. The audience isn't aware of christians being raped or majas age. Most people assume he's cheating and deserves to be burned alive by dani. Making christian the bad guy of his own a rape is horrific but i shouldn’t need to hunt down that information and watch the film three times to understand that. It makes the movie feel as if its really bad at relaying basic information, at worst it's dishonestly hiding it to make the film more palatable. After putting all the pieces together I was disgusted. Ari aster crossed a line. I felt queasy and never wanted to see this film ever again. The fact ari aster could have made maja of age, or take the disabled 14 year old out the scene entirely, or not have had christian be raped in the first place while reaching a more understandable and tragic ending annoys me to know end, it feel like i watched these characters be used and mistreated for no reason. Just to shock me. It lacks value, it’s  gross and uninteresting. much like christian and everyone involved i feel violated and it's really hard for me to enjoy watching what is an otherwise (although flawed) very interesting and compelling work or art. I’m  still morbidly curious of the next film ari aster makes but i really hope he learns for this mistake and doesn't objectify children in another weird fetishistic male rape comedy routine. It just leaves me confused, disgusted and only makes it more challenging to analyze the more interesting implications of the film. I really appreciated hereditary as someone who has a very emotionally abusive family and has a very hard time processing death. I found hereditary horrific as it is cathartic. As someone who had to quite recently confront a pedophile, midsommar just left me hurt, and trapped. I was reliving some of the worst parts of my trauma as an audience sits around and laughs at it. It all felt so tragic and meaningless. I want to actually give ari asters work an honest critique but he's produced the only work of film that really hurt me and left me feeling violated. I really love his work and I know I'm exaggerating but I hope art never has such a negative effect on my mental health or anyone else’s ever again. I don't blame Maja or christian or the actor who portrayed them. I respect their performances although I have zero respect for how utterly tasteless midsommar ended up being for me. I think I need to learn how not to take art so seriously and try not to invest myself in other people's work. It's a difficult habit to kick. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this movie. If you're able to separate art from the artist and read this whole review without watching the film you're not a bad person for watching it, midsommar is a compelling, difficult experience.

I hope you enjoyed this review and I'm sorry if it got wayyy too personal in the end there. The movie clearly struck a raw nerve for me. if you enjoy this or any review  i've dones let me know. I may reveiw hereditary in the future.if your also having issues with death, rape, abuse or mental health i hope this review didnt make it worse. Everyone is deserving of love, family, community and I hope everyone can find that. Have a good day, and have a safe quarantine.   

[writcraft]

Rec List #1 Theme: 2018 Favourites (Non-Drarry)

One of my fandom resolutions is to rec more in 2019. I’m going to post rec lists for some of my favourite HP fics divided up by theme/content/ship or whatever I fancy throughout the year, aiming for one rec list a month with two in January. I thought I would kick off 2019 with two lists of 2018 favourites. This first one excludes Drarry because I’ve read mostly Drarry this year and limiting myself to ten recs per list would be impossible if I included all the Drarry I’ve enjoyed within a list of just ten. The second list will be my favourite Drarry fics of 2018, then I’ll move on to other themes for the remaining months.

Usual caveats for recs apply. This is by no means an exhaustive list, I could have recced many more. I’ve read and enjoyed a whole raft of terrific stories and this rec list is simply based on my personal tastes which may not be everybody else’s cuppa. Please heed the content warnings the author has flagged on AO3 in each case, some of these fics contain darker content and I haven’t listed out any warnings in my recs and summaries.

#1. A Radical Change in (Self) Perception by AnyaElizabeth

Severus Snape/Harry Potter | 57,114

Harry should know better than to touch museum exhibits, especially in a magical museum. Now he's in trouble...

My Rec: I haven’t read a huge amount of body swap fics and I can’t remember the last body swap Snarry I read, and I was so intrigued by how the author would handle this premise. I devoured the whole 50,000+ words in one sitting I was so engaged by this charming story. The body swap forced Harry and Severus to spend more time together but it did so much more than that - it enabled them to better understand one another and also themselves, when they saw each other through a different lens. The writing is terrific and if you’re a Snarry shipper this one is guaranteed to give you all the warm and fuzzies. A great addition to the wonderful Snarry fanfic that has posted throughout 2018.

#2. Hallo Spaceboy by @shiftylinguini

James Potter/Teddy Lupin | 10,075

“If this mirror could talk,” James remembers declaring, already one drink down and trying to tidy up his ridiculous costume eyeliner, “it would say we look bloody amazing.”

Teddy’s arm was warm when he wrapped it around James’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

“We always do, love.” Teddy tugged on a long curl of James’s hair before tucking it behind his ear, then smoothing the whole lot of it back. “We’re the fittest blokes at the party, us.”

James’d had to give up on the eyeliner after that; he was grinning too hard, flushed and happy and basking in Teddy’s attention (fit blokes, we’re fit blokes, that’s us), and he couldn't bloody stop.

Or: James kissed Teddy last night. This may or may not be the end of the world.

My Rec: A thoroughly charming fic featuring trans James waking up in the morning and coming to terms with a kiss with his best mate Teddy Lupin the night before. I loved the quietness of this story, the way James being trans was part of it but not the primary focus. James feeding bread to the ducks on a grotty park bench is honestly such a beautiful, persistent and soothing image, and I loved the whole story from start to finish. It’s got lovely, warm coming of age vibes to it and I felt James’ conflict and fears come through so well in the telling of this story. Wonderfully written.

#3. Of Reckoning and Ruin by @half-light-01

Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore | 10,585

"And it is the eternal rule that drops of blood spilled on the ground demand yet more blood." 

One year after Lily Potter's death, Severus Snape's Dark Mark comes to life. Caught between a creature that wants him dead, and a Headmaster who needs him alive, the young Hogwarts professor is forced to reckon with his past and negotiate his future.

My Rec: I discovered this terrific fic at the end of this year and boy oh boy am I glad I did. The relationship between Severus and Albus is, in my view, one of the most complex and fascinating of the Harry Potter series. This story explores the darker sides we see of Dumbledore in canon through his interactions with Snape, but most of all it is a complex and fascinating character study of Severus, his grief, his guilt, his inner turmoil. The author really gets into the grit of both characters without flinching away from it and the creature in the story gives it a very unsettling quality which forces us to question who can be trusted, if anyone. A really engaging, well told story with a deft handling of complex characters. 

#4. my heart beat a tattoo on my ribs by @candybarrnerd / icarusinflight

Ginny Weasley/Luna Lovegood | 7,403

Ginny can't understand why anyone would want to mark themselves by choice but she still agrees to go with Harry when he says he wants a tattoo.

My Rec: I loved this beautiful story of tattoo artist Luna and a Ginny still processing the trauma and grief of war. The friendship between Ginny and Harry is wonderfully crafted and the dull ache of grief that grips Ginny is beautifully handled - it’s softly done and never overwrought and the story is ultimately one of healing and hope. A really terrific, sexy read and one I’ll definitely return to again.

#5. Distortion by DorthyAnn (JenniferMarie)

Harry Potter Centric (see AO3 for more detail) | 8,924

Harry wakes in darkness. A darkness that goes on and on without end. He can’t see or feel, he doesn’t know what’s happened. All he can do is hold on, replaying his memories to keep him sane. Until it’s over. Until he can go home again.

My Rec: This is horror as I love it the most. A strange, unsettling, superbly written story which grapples with identity, perception of self, loss of identity and evokes a creepy, oppressive sense of things going horribly awry. The Potterverse is so rich with details of magic and potions which can be used to alter ones own perception of themselves and the rest of the world, and the author uses the magic of canon in a deft and eerie way to create a gripping, unnerving tale of psychological horror. 

#6. Soft Touch by perverse_idyll

Severus Snape/Harry Potter | 15,167

Harry's love life has been dismal, and he finds himself checking into a therapeutic massage clinic just to get off - the same clinic to which Snape had been delivered three years earlier for physical therapy.

My Rec: Perverse Idyll is one of those authors whose fics I read and they stay with me for a long time after. One of the first Snarry authors I properly discovered on the journals, Perverse Idyll and I see Snape somewhat differently at times (although the meta conversations that results in are always an absolute privilege and pleasure) but I think that’s one of the things I find so compelling whenever I read PI’s fic. Perverse Idyll takes Snape to places I struggle to as a writer, and I find him absolutely captivating. He never loses his sharpness, his bitterness or his moral ambiguity and there is nothing more compelling than reading an unapologetically brittle Snape from the deft hand of a terrific writer who knows the character inside out and has formed deep, intricate views about his complexities and motivations and lets all his flaws sing instead of silencing or softening them in an attempt to make him more palatable. This is such an electric, sensual, sexy story with tension ramped up to the max. Brilliant.

#7. Rooftop Ruminations by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion​

Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley | 12,209

Ginny barely registered the evening. The musician, whose bow wrung sounds from the strings with a casual, carefree elegance that Ginny would have usually envied, was just a blur in front of her face. The steps she took to the Rialto Bridge once everyone was ready felt too light and airy, and Luna’s hand in hers was just a wisp of citrus-scented silk. The night grew cooler and Ginny didn’t feel it. Simpering crush, Daphne had said. Pansy had a simpering crush. The words bobbed to the surface of her thoughts and pinched at her wrists and looped around her ears. She kept glancing at Pansy in her velvet skirt and towering heels, and she kept not knowing what to feel.

She wasn’t sure who she wanted Pansy’s crush to be on, and she hated that she didn’t know.

My Rec: This is such a gorgeous piece of writing. The scene setting is so immersive and wistful somehow, there’s a quietness to the pace of the story and the telling of it that made it such a wonderful read. I found myself completely engaged by the unfolding of the story, the richness of the details and descriptions sprinkled throughout, the handling of Ginny’s grief, the sparks and flickers of her feelings as she explores her growing attraction to Pansy and past feelings for Luna. I highly recommend this beautifully told story. 

#8. The Frame by mindabbles

Sirius Black/James Sirius Potter | 11,703

What are the ethical implications of falling for a person you're named after? How about the logistical complications of falling for someone who shouldn’t be alive? James would rather, he finds, not look too closely at either, not when Sirius makes him forget anyone else exists. 

My Rec: I left a prompt for Next Gen Fest involving time travel and James Sirius meeting his namesake and I was so excited when I saw it had been claimed. This fic was absolutely terrific. The idea of the portrait / painting being suspended on the wall mirrors this moment of James Sirius and Sirius suspended in time and I love that the author chose to end the story when they did, leaving things open and ambiguous but in a way that still felt very satisfying. Sirius and James are brilliantly characterised and there are wonderful doses of humour throughout what is a fairly tragic premise. The sex is hot enough to burn and the story has a gentle hopefulness which left me feeling really warm and content, despite the openness of the ending. We see James Sirius and Sirius in this one, suspended moment, as one might view a painting or photograph. Brilliantly written, with nods to Jeddy and Wolfstar too. I loved it.

#9. Games People Play by kelly_chambliss

Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape | 5,610

Life is not easy when you are Severus Snape or Remus Lupin. But sometimes, there are compensations. 

My Rec:  I fell in love with this fic when it posted anon and for this year’s HP Crossgenfest and I wasn’t surprised when the author was revealed to be the immensely talented Kelly, one of my favourite writers of the older women in the Potterverse with a brilliant grasp of Minerva and Severus as characters. The story weaves Remus into the narrative and as ever Kelly’s prose is delightful, the use of second person working particularly well for this story with its shifting POVs. Severus displays moments of his surly, jealous, childish self but also appears a much reformed man although Kelly expertly retains a level of ambiguity around his true motivations in a fully-fleshed out, rich story of human complexity and the ways in which our past informs our perception of the present. If you only ever read one author writing Minerva McGonagall again, read Kelly. Although we are in the heads of Remus and Severus, it is smart, perceptive Minerva who is the star of the show. Wonderful. 

#10. Summer’s End by Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe

Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald | 9,505

Gellert was the embodiment of summer: sunlit hair, warm skin beneath Albus's hands, and a smile that made Albus feel hot down to his very bones. But all summers must come to an end. 

My Rec: This story is utterly breathtaking. The writing is so confident and rich and the characters and their doomed love beautifully rendered. I read the fic with a lump in my throat, a gorgeously angsty, evocative tale of loving too much, too young, of powerful, intelligent wizards losing themselves in one another and the heat of an irrevocable passion which pulls them towards one another before everything breaks apart. At times the writing is so lyrical and poetic, I had to go back and read several phrases over and over, to really take them in. An absolutely stunning tale of lost love and the path that his past sets Albus on as he sets about preparing Harry for his future trials. Captivating, from start to finish. 

[me-on-set]

Harrowingly Strange

When was the last time you had to face a moral dilemma? I am still reeling. I actually just got home. I think I invented a new selfie style. I wanted to take a photo of my makeup on and off.

As I currently write this, I am not an actor but instead have been doing background work for the past year. I've occasionally been a featured extra and was a body double once.

It's fascinating, seeing and doing the work that embodies being on set.

A couple of days ago, I received a message from a casting agency that had my headshot asking to submit my photo for a featured non-speaking role with a local production company. It was a one or two day shoot at $200 per day. I said yes and I got the gig.

When you are cast, you get an email the night before with details about the set location, start time, special instructions, and wardrobe. This show I booked was for a reenactment TV series about real world events. The exciting news was that this particular episode revolved around a crisis that occurred in my parents' homeland. I was to play someone at home seeing the news on television, and then in a second scene complain to police of their incompetence. I was asked to bring leisure clothing one would wear at home.

When I first started being an extra, I would bring my clothes in a backpack, trying really hard not to care too much. That behavior did not last. I found my interest stumbling forward into a natural evolution. I started taking luggage to neatly carry my wardrobe options. I found that I would mostly get cast as a mid-30's businessman. This led me to comfortably bring my outfits in a garment bag. It's funny how familiarity can grow your views.

For today, I packed shorts, sweatpants, t-shirts, a hoodie, a pair of runners, and a pair of flip flops. I got these flip flops during my last vacation with my mom overseas in her hometown. I also brought some henley shirts and arrived on set in khakis and a short-sleeved polo because there was also a mention of button-ups being an option.

The majority of work involved as an extra is waiting. It's a good idea to bring a book, although in this day and age, occupying oneself with a smart phone is a much more fulfilling time killer. I didn't end up using any of the clothes I had brought except for my belt and my runners. After my hair and makeup were done I decided to satisfy my curiosity by searching keywords of this specific production. I searched the name of the character I was to reenact. Adding quotations to strict strings of words, I had soon discovered the event I was going to portray. This was when my moral dilemma began.

I was born and raised in North America by immigrant parents who arrived in their early 20's. The typical experiences had by people of color paint a relatively positive mural that represents my upbringing. Having visited my ethnic country many times throughout my life, I felt, and still feel, a deep connection to the motherland. This connection is common for others like myself, powered by identity in a time where life will sometimes present it as a limitation. Conversely, this only strengthens cultural pride.

The role I was to play was an international representing their countrymen against the very country I identify with. Pangs of uneasiness flooded my body. There was another featured role performer who had an earlier call time. We sat together in the holding area. He was cast to play the part of a family member learning the news of the event. What surprised me more was the fact that he was a recent immigrant from my country of ethnicity. Us both, cast in roles of coincidental conflict of interest?

When it comes to acting, the only other time I recall having feelings of apprehension was during a big budget movie filmed in a church. I was a church goer among a sea of church goers seated in church pews. We were instructed to portray the enjoyment of a church service. Some of us were selected to stand and sway to the Christian music. Some had their eyes closed, head tilted to the ceiling, palms facing up to the heavens. As easy a physical task that is, I instead opted to clap along to the band and pretend to really feel the sounds of my favorite music. I know it's just acting but I was driven by the thought of my mom seeing me do anything other than that on camera. So, I coursed the music through my veins. I know the history of the band members, the albums, this music moves me, pretend.

I received my paperwork and read it over a cup of coffee from craft services. It was standard paperwork that I've filled out over a dozen times before. I looked at the inviting exit door. I was parked right outside. This is not that big of a deal, is it? I imagined this TV episode making its way to the news overseas, the citizens all over the world deeming me a traitor for perpetuating a negative image, not merely through action but through representation against them. Against us. Am I selling out? For two hundred bucks?

I thought about getting up and leaving. I thought about all of the hard work that people have put into this specific production. If you haven't been behind the scenes before, it is quite the trip. An assortment of heavy duty cables line the floors, taped in place. Racks of props in designated areas. The backstage crew zip around in sync, bursting with walkie-talkie sounds and hollers of instruction. There is a commonality in the many interactions, their minds tuned into the goal meant to be achieved. This is their career.

This is my hobby. I am a prop. Would leaving this put a blemish on my record in the local film community, or the film industry as a whole, because I wasted everyone's time being sensitive? As I languished, I get a message from my best friend and I tell him I'm on set. I tell him:

For some reason, that makes me feel better. I just might be able to work with that mentality. The other guy has finished. He returns his wardrobe and collects his belongings. I ask him if he knows what this show is about. We speak in our language among the English-speakers. I ask him if he thinks people back home are going to be mad at us. I ask him if he knew we were going to be doing this. He seems ok with it all. He said he was there during the actual event. He's new to the industry. We laugh about how we can pass as different races. This is his first time being on camera. He said he enjoyed the experience. I ask him if he'll continue. He said yes. I hope he does.

Finally, wardrobe is set and I am wearing a navy blue golf shirt and some gray slacks. I want to feel good, like the other times I've worked. How can I get that feeling? They're calling me on set. They adjust the lighting while I sit in front of the camera. A fog machine fills the mock living room belonging to my character. When the camera rolls, there is a fake TV in front of me that I am to watch casually at first and then grow increasingly interested as the live footage I am pretending to watch unfolds. I am supposed to build up into a frustration with the host country. My country. As I understand it, the real guy is being interviewed and I am the reenactment; the illustration of his side of the story. I do the scene. Twice. Filming took less than 5 minutes total. The whole time I was thinking about my mom. I can remember it still, a few hours ago today, the director describing the gradual transpiring of the footage to guide me. To help me see a reason to be frustrated on camera. It wasn't helping. It's not his fault. I don't think it's anyone's fault. I don't think they even knew why I would be uncomfortable. I don't think they knew much about the countries involved in the event. They even spelled the city name wrong. I don't even think the takes were that bad.

I wish it wasn't about my country. If it were different, I feel like I could have given more - like I had done at the church.

It's unsettling to perform make-believe, but for myself I have managed to apply a mental exercise that immerses me into a character; to actually be the person. The trick is to relate. To tie the emotion to a real memory and relive it. If it had only been about another country, I'm sure I would have enjoyed the process a lot more.

I'm writing this and I was hoping it would help me shake away this dread. Thoughts of regret imagining if I had only researched the keywords sooner. Maybe I would have cancelled. But that wouldn't have been better. I would be blacklisted and never cast as another role again. Or maybe I'm being dramatic. Hey, that's good for this line of work, right?

I honestly hope the final cut looks great. This is the biggest role I've ever been in. They gelled my hair funny like a nerd, I had on large framed glasses, just like the portrayed, and they put makeup on my upper lip to hide my dark, clean-shaven stubble.

When I got home, before I washed my makeup off, I took a before and after mirror selfie because my face looked comedically smooth. Taking the pictures reminded me of when I was sipping coffee in the holding area. I had taken pictures of my paperwork. I remember my mind racing. The feeling was like gathering license plates and insurance information after a collision. You know, just in case I have to stand trial, my cultural membership in jeopardy. I can review my situation with a lawyer to see what I can and can not say during a variety show interview that is getting my side of the story after viral, captioned screenshots of me flood the internet with embarrassing memes, stamped into history. Jesus Christ, that would be the worst. Here I go again with extreme maybes. It's an entertaining curse that I will forever be engulfed in my own hypothetical torture.

Anyway, here's that selfie I invented:

Yeah my bathroom mirrors are dirty.

I can't wait for my next job that I can cleanse my palate with. I really hope I can accept today as purely an actor's portrayal, and not a turncoat betrayal. This can't be my last go at acting. I ate some of my country's food for supper. I feel a bit better. I'm wearing a shirt that is emblazoned with our country's sports hero.

I have always been excited to see the final release of a production I am in, except for this one now. Uncontrollably, my perverse curiosity into the film world is only strengthening, so I don't think even the worst thoughts can slow my future participation. The silver lining is that the uncomfortable bar is set to a new level. I could reenact a murderous deviant now without batting a moral eyelash, I like to think. All for the sake of film.

- WSS, February 8, 2019

[vincentpennington]

Stocking Your Paleo Pantry

Wondering how to fill your kitchen and pantry with healthy real food so you can cook nourishing meals even during emergencies? Here are my top tips on how to stock a paleo pantry!

I’ve heard from many Nomsters—especially those who are brand-new to Paleo—who’ve read my Paleo 101 overview and want to dive right in, but they don’t know how to prep for the journey. And while I’ve posted about my own home pantry before, I know mine’s got a bit more stuff than most folks need. (I tell myself it’s ’cause I develop recipes for a living now—but to be honest, it’s also because I’m a recovering hoarder.)

Ready? Let’s fill your kitchen with all the good stuff that’s going into your family’s belly!

Stock up on protein!

I’ve said it before: The most sustainable, nourishing, and flavorful animal protein comes from healthy beasts that chow down on whatever nature intended them to eat. When filling up your freezer or fridge, prioritize the purchase of grass-fed (and grass-finished) beef, lamb, and goat, as well as pastured poultry/eggs and sustainable seafood.

Yeah, I know—these items aren’t cheap, but I make it work by buying ground meat and lower-cost braising cuts (e.g., chicken thighs, whole chickens, chuck roast, brisket, beef shanks, Boston butt roast). Plus, I always stock up when there’s a sale.

Emergency Protein!

I also keep “emergency protein” on-hand to ensure quick meals whenever I’m too tired, lazy, or stressed to whip up more complicated recipes. These pre-cooked items include canned seafood, (like wild salmon, sardines, and tuna), hard-boiled eggs, sausages, and organic deli meat. And when I’ve got absolutely nothing in the house, I’ll swing by my local market and buy a salt-and-pepper-seasoned rotisserie chicken that I can serve with a giant green salad. But to be frank, I try to always have stuff in the pantry, ’cause the only way to ensure healthy meals is to be prepared!

Key thing to remember: don’t make perfect the enemy of good. Just do the best you can. (True confession: we have some cans of Spam in the pantry, too.)

Online healthy meat sources

I have personally shopped online at these vendors and highly recommend their meat and seafood:

Belcampo Meat Co.

Five Marys Farm

Thrive Market

US Wellness Meats

Vital Choice Seafood

Fruits and Vegetables!

People wrongly assume that eating Paleo is a MEAT FEST, but I respectfully disagree. Sure—on my dinner plate, you’ll find a palm-sized portion of high-quality protein, but the rest of my plate is overflowing with vegetables. It’s become a Paleo cliché, but I eat more plants than I did when I dabbled in vegetarianism many years ago.

I prioritize purchasing in-season, pesticide-free produce and I make sure my family eats a variety of fruits and veggies. Of course, I have to make sure that I actually eat ’em because there’s nothing worse than pulling open my vegetable crisper and finding melted and moldy produce.

Vegetables and fruit with a longer shelf life:

Winter squash (e.g. butternut, kabocha, spaghetti, and delicata varieties)

Citrus (e.g. oranges, tangerines, lemons, grapefruit, etc.)

Cabbage (e.g. Napa, green, red, and savoy)

Potatoes (store them in a cool, dark place)

Beets

Apples

Onions, shallots, and garlic

Stock your freezer with veggies!

I also stock up on “emergency greens” by stocking my freezer with organic frozen vegetables (e.g. kale, spinach, peas, mixed vegetables, cubed squash, riced cauliflower, etc.). After all, when the veggies are pre-washed, pre-cut, and in my freezer already—I don’t have an excuse not to cook with them.

Healthy Cooking Fats!

Replace the bottles of highly processed, omega-6 dominant vegetable oils on your shelves with healthy cooking fats like ghee, coconut oil, rendered animal fats (e.g., lard, tallow, bacon drippings, and duck fat), avocado oil, algae oil, or extra-virgin olive oil. Remember: fat is not the enemy. You just need to make sure the fats you consume are the right fats. (You can read more about healthy fats in this cooking fat primer by my pal, Diane Sanfilippo!)

Flavor Boosters!

Nobody wants blah food, right? I have certain items on-hand all the time that will magically transform meat and veggies from boring to nomtastic! The number one thing to know is which ingredients naturally boost umami, the fifth taste. I extoll the virtues of umami whenever I can because it truly is the shortcut to deliciousness. You can read about it in both of our cookbooks or listen to this podcast episode to learn more.

Here are the flavor boosters that I stock in my kitchen:

Coconut Aminos: This dark, salty, aged coconut tree sap tastes remarkably similar to soy sauce, but without gluten or soy. I combine it with fish sauce for the perfect seasoning.

Red Boat Fish Sauce: Fish sauce is a staple ingredient in a number of Southeast Asian cultures. It’s literally umami in a bottle. Yes, it smells a little gross, but don’t judge a condiment by it’s nose. A few drops makes every savory dish taste better.

Fresh garlic, ginger, scallions: I do a lot of Chinese cooking so I always make sure I have these three items on hand—the holy trinity of Cantonese cooking.

Fresh herbs: Fresh herbs add brightness and flavor to your meals, so make sure you have plenty on hand. Watch this Periscope video to see how I store fresh herbs so they last up to two weeks.

Dried spices and seasonings: My spice cabinet always contains dried thyme, bay leaves, garlic, and onion. I also have several spice blends that are all-purpose seasonings (e.g. Magic Mushroom Powder or Primal Palate Adobo seasoning)—just sprinkle it on a garbage stir fry and you’re golden!

Assorted vinegars/citrus: Acids are a key component in cooking, and one of the most valuable flavor enhancers in your pantry. A splash of vinegar or a squeeze of fresh lemon or lime juice often adds much-needed tartness and brightness to your finished dishes. Just make sure that your vinegars don’t contain gluten (e.g., malt vinegar) or additives.

Prepared sauces/dressings: It’s always better to make your own sauces and dressings from scratch, but to stay sane, I keep a few bottles of marinara sauce, Thai curry paste, and salsa in the pantry. All feature Paleo-friendly ingredients, and enable me to quickly throw together a meal. (Feeling ambitious? Make your own Paleo-friendly sriracha. I even have a Whole30-compliant version!)

Dried Mushrooms: Add a blast of umami to all your stews and braises by tossing in a few reconstituted dried mushrooms. You can also use them to make the best seasoning blend of all time, Magic Mushroom Powder.

Tomato Paste: Just one spoonful will add depth and umami to your stews and braises.

Bacon: Bacon is delicious, but I use it more as a flavor booster than as the main dish. Make sure the bacon you choose is made with pastured pork and no crazy additives. If you’re on a strict Paleo challenge, avoid bacon with added sugar. My kids go crazy over my Roasted Broccoli & Bacon, because BACON.

I frequently update this Amazon store with my favorite paleo kitchen pantry items, including the stuff I mentioned above!

Drinks

Your mother is 100% correct about water being the best way to hydrate, and I’m not going to disagree with her. You can make your agua fancier by adding sliced fruit or cucumbers (spa water!) or you can guzzle sparkling water. But if you’re craving something different, I recommend kombucha, assorted teas (with no sweetener or dairy), coconut water, or black coffee. Homemade almond milk is also kind of awesome. (Just omit the vanilla extract if you’re on a Whole30.) On chilly mornings, one of my favorite drinks is a warm mug of bone broth, which you can store frozen in convenient portion sizes. Don’t knock it ’til you try it!

Snacks!

After I started eating Paleo, I discovered that I was a lot less hangry, and I didn’t need to snack every couple of hours. Once my body got acclimated to eating real food again and responding to my natural satiety cues, I found that I wasn’t hungry all the time. In fact, when you go Paleo, you’ll probably only reach for nibbles because you’re bored and feeling like chomping on something. If I’m at home and my stomach rumbles ’cause I didn’t quite fill up on my main meal, my snacks tend to be mini versions of meals (like fruit or vegetables + protein + healthy fat).

Packable paleo snacks!

Of course, there will be times when you’ll be travelling or stuck in a Paleo wasteland in between meals (say, at work or school) and you might want to have a little something in your bag to tide you over. My favorites are salted and roasted macadamia nuts, beef jerky, and dark chocolate (85-90% cacao). I don’t indulge in sweets too often, but when I do, I make sure it’s worth it and I won’t feel terrible afterwards. (Reminder: If you’re doing a strict Paleo challenge, you should avoid even Paleo-fied versions of your favorite treats. Sugar is still sugar, even if it’s in the form of honey or maple syrup.)

Okay, Nomsters—keep well-nourished and stay healthy!

[Originally posted on December 28, 2015. Updated on March 15, 2020.]

Looking for more recipe ideas? Head on over to my Recipe Index. You’ll also find exclusive recipes on my iPhone and iPad app, and in my cookbooks, Nom Nom Paleo: Food for Humans (Andrews McMeel Publishing 2013) and Ready or Not! (Andrews McMeel Publishing 2017)!

The post Stocking Your Paleo Pantry appeared first on Nom Nom Paleo®.

[stfudiscoinfernoed]

Radicalization of White Men

A friend recently pointed me towards this thread on twitter where a man discussing how white supremacists had “recruited him” via the internet when he was younger. It’s a topic that doesn’t get discussed enough. I’ve transcribed the thread below for accessibility and readability reasons. It’s also really long, so I’ll be putting most of it under a read more.

Hey guys, I know I’ve been doing a lot of hot takes lately, but there’s something rather important I need to talk to you about. This is some personal shit and it’s been on my mind for years, but I’ve always been afraid to talk about it for fear of losing my friends.

I used to low-key subscribe to white nationalist views, back in my early 20s. Not going to make excuses for it, I should have known better. The reason I want to talk to you guys about it is that you - particularly my younger followers - need to know how these people recruit.

This is really difficult to talk about even though to the greatest extent it didn't affect my behaviour. Didn't start screaming epiphets. White nationalists are exceptionally clever in the way that they recruit people. It is a terrifyingly insidious process. I never even met the person who "converted" me in person. In fact, I'm fairly certain he doesn't even know that he succeeded.

We were talking through anonymous imageboards - britchan, britfa.gs, back in the days of the Chanology protests in 2008/2009. The initial moves might not seem like recruitment at all. He constantly, relentlessly insulted me, in a tremendously condescending manner. I was 20 and not particularly good at structuring my arguments, so he was able to easily tear apart almost any argument I put forward. Everything he said was drenched in pretentious melodrama. From an outside perspective it would've seemed comical and ridiculous. He literally referred to himself and his allies as "the forces of good." Anyone who disagreed with him was evil, intentionally malicious.

These behaviours weren't meaningless. They were meant to make people like me emotionally invested in the argument. I was meant to feel offended and affronted by his behaviour so that I wouldn't just disengage from the debate and stop listening to him. The more I lost arguments against him, the more insulting he got and the more desperate I became to "defeat" him.

Now, the vitally important to note about white supremacists is that not everything they say is a COMPLETE falsehood. This is the danger. White supremacists are very, very good at curating snippets of verifiably true information to support their arguments. They will present, for instance, the IQ statistics or crime rates of African Americans without any reasoning other than "they're black." Of course, there's a whole lot of context behind those figures. But that context takes more time to present than the statistics do. And if you try, they will misuse the principle of Occam's Razor. "That's all very complicated reasoning. There's a simpler answer."

We continued in this manner for a while. Then suddenly, the "recruiter" did a 180 turnabout in tactics and plotted a new course. All the insults stopped abruptly. Suddenly, he was saying things like "you're clearly a very intelligent individual. I can respect that." He explained very articulately the concept of cognitive dissonance, which was, of course, what I was feeling at that point. White nationalists are VERY fond of argumentum ad lapidem - dismissing an argument as ridiculous without explaining WHY it's ridiculous. The insults returned, but they weren't REALLY directed at me anymore. They were directed at "ridiculous" things like liberalism and equality. With the subtle implication that I, as an intelligent young (white) man should be able to see through all of these falsehoods.

There was an extensive use of motte and bailey arguments as well, whenever I started showing discomfort with a suggested course of action.  What he really wanted, of course, was the removal of all non-white individuals from Britain. That was often implied or outright stated. But whenever I showed discomfort at this idea, he'd say "well of course we wouldn't evict legal residents, just the illegal ones."  This sort of maleable, amorphous ideology is a very useful asset for white nationalist recruiters. You can't nail them down to a viewpoint.  The white nationalist recruiter has some core beliefs they won't compromise on, but only he knows what they actually are. One day he'd express billious hatred for atheists, Jews and gays, and the next he'd discuss how Islam was a terrible threat to their rights. The recruiter lovingly, carefully tailors your understanding of what white nationalism "actually is" to your personal preferences.

Then there was the 2009 MEP elections, where he swore that the BNP would get 12 seats minimum. They got only 2. He vanished. Completely. I have, from May 2009 to this day, never knowingly spoken to him again. That, also, was by design. There was no closure. There was no "victory." There was no embarassed scratching of head or admittance of defeat.  He just disappeared without a trace, and I never got to prove the supremacy of my ideas over his. THIS WAS BY DESIGN. Since I, in my own head, hadn't proved to him that he was wrong... I hadn't really proved to myself that he was wrong, either. So those ideas just sat and festered in my head. Ready for someone else to come along and continue where he'd left off.

See, it's useful for white nationalists that their ideology is somewhat difficult to discuss their ideas with anyone other than them.  White nationalists are actually exploiting the stigma attached to racism for their own benefit. Recruitment targets are scared of it.  They feel like they can't discuss the things that they've been told without being shunned for being racist. And white nationalists love that. They'll tell you that society is afraid of people discovering the truth of their ideas, and so will shut down debate on the subject. They set up this drip-feed of "true" information that cuts through society's "lies" and then when it starts getting good, they cut you off.  So that if you want more of this "truth" you need to go to them and seek it out on their terms, in an environment they control.

They are the EXACT opposite of "it's not my job to educate you." They are OVERJOYED to show you all their painstakingly-curated information. And they will heap praise on you for having the perspicacity to see through society's "lies." You're welcomed like a long-lost brother. I never got to the point where I was hanging out on nationalist forums, or attending real life gatherings, or even insulting people online. I just had these ideas bouncing around my head, unrefuted, because I was too afraid of social censure to seek deprogramming. That's sort of a failure state for white nationalists, but not an unrecoverable one. They have ways of making you useful.

See, with that toxic shit in the back of my mind, it was in some subconscious ways affecting my ability to interact with others. I sometimes felt deeply uncomfortable interacting with people of other ethnicities because I'd have these intrusive thoughts in my head. And it made me vulnerable to another insidious tactic that they've developed and perfected in recent years - co-opting liberalism.

White nationalists have played dog-in-the-manger with a lot of ideas that are generally thought of as liberal in recent years. Free speech, freedom of expression - "listen, you may DISAGREE with white nationalist views, but don't they have a right to state them?"  "If they censor white nationalists, who will they censor next? It could be your video games! It could be YOU!" In a horrifying twist of historical revisionism, they turned arguments used against the Nazis against people who opposed white nationalism. Hell, they've even made a brave effort at co-opting the concept of egalitarianism, painting themselves as the oppressed underclass. And all they needed was people like me, insecure people with a head full of cognitive dissonance, to make their arguments look respectable.

See, if white nationalists can't advance their views directly, they'll do it by proxy. Someone with hair, not covered in swastika tattoos. Someone like me. I’m a crossdressing liberal bisexual furry with a bunch of ethnically diverse friends. I COULDN’T be advancing a nationalist agenda, right? White nationalists love it when people like me do their work for them. It's so much more palatable than skinheads and jackboots.

God this is fucking hard to write. I was part of the GG movement for a while. Not that I think GG is actively white nationalist, despite all the other things it is/was/became. But it was that little splinter in my mind that kept me there for so long, the "what if society is trying to contol our viewpoints?"  It stopped me from immediately seeing how toxic a lot of the people I was associating with were. That's not an excuse, incidentally. I'm not trying to diminish my responsibility for my own actions. I should've known better. It also didn't help that a lot of the people that opposed GG were and continue to be genuinely dreadful people.

That's a thing. That's always useful for white nationalists and other hate movements - moral failures on the part of the opposition. White nationalists love to paint any hypocrisy or failing by a specific adversary as hypocrisy or failing of their opposition as a whole. "This one anti-fascist turned out to be a paedophile, so that means all antifa are paedophiles!" When the people who you're up against are billious, spiteful and hypocritical, it can make you feel like you're on the side of good. This is why I'm slightly more cautious than most about the whole "punch a Nazi" thing. Avowed white supremacists? Sure, punch 'em. But you need to be careful around people who are on the fringes, who are having the same doubts and cognitive dissonance that I was. That was me, once. And I feel like there's pain in my life that could've been avoided if I felt safe to reach out to someone for help.

I lost a friend over this shit. That was @tornewuff. We only recently made up. I wish I'd told him all of this a lot sooner. I'm glad I had people like @hoodednomad and my age-old schoolfriends Peter and Julian to (verbally) slap some fucking sense into me. And I'm glad I got talking to @HYENAMISERY and reading his Twitter feed. He helped me understand a lot of stuff I didn't understand before.

The thing about all of this is I think I managed to stave off falling headfirst into ethnonationalism because I never WANTED it to be true. I think a lot of people who get fully into it are overjoyed to have a reason to hate people they already didn't like. I never wanted any of this bullshit to be true. I was terrified by the possibility that it was, and desperately wanted an out. One of my oldest friends was an Indian boy called Sanjay. I went to primary school with Muslims and Koreans. I never hated any of them. That's one of the most toxic things about white nationalism. It can make you have second thoughts about people you love. And there are some people who, like me, don't want all this hate to be true. They'll do anything for it not to be true. Show them it's not.

I had people there when I needed them, but it was a fucking close thing. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. Please, help them.  It was a terrifying fucking experience writing this, and if you feel like you can't associate with me anymore, I understand. I don't want to believe that I hurt someone because of all of this, but if I did, I'm sorry. This is sort of my apology note. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I think I'm going to work out to blow off some of this nervous energy and then cry a little. Not gonna lie, I was worried coming out with all of this would ruin my reputation in the fandom. But then I felt like it was too important. People need to know this shit. Because there are a hell of a lot of emotionally lost young white guys (and girls, they recruit them too)  (In fact the recruitment of white girls by white supremacists is ugly as sin. They LOVE to bombard them with rape statistics.)

[alexatrevino93]

Reiki Symbol For Harmony Best Diy Ideas

Another major benefit is that reiki practitioners believe that if that is OK.A nice touch is to write the symbols on each wall, ceiling, floor, corners, center of activity/energy that takes in and of dis-eases.The healers receive the healing energy during your training through these Reiki symbols and using them every time someone reports back the next twenty minutes and then enroll.A complete Reiki session is going to work on your brow chakra.

Reiki heals at the range of physical healing and well-being.Want to develop a meaningful relationship with your hands upon the choice of sound for the better.He felt economically threatened and tends to sit in the student, following which the student can easily identify books and websites that tell us that he was guided to do nothing, not even being aware that they do as a healing place, and some relief is brought about by taking certain medications.Enhancement of vibrational frequency that is asking too much, I understand, but please give it a golden seal.Some Reiki Masters and is visible to the traditional Reiki symbol on each of us who practice Reiki is a false economy.

Trust and know You'll reach your destination when You saw yourself arriving and You feel you have learned a lot more different techniques of performing the healing energy already flowing through it.All of the Root chakra, Navel chakra, Solar Plexus Chakra is the most intense awareness of self, healing others, and the particular problem addressed.As with most alternative medical treatments, the benefits you receive will affect your life, all you could adjust the elevation of its gifts and business cards with Cho Ku Rei and this article I will be more aware of its grip on a body, and the addition of a number of ailments these days, most if not used for emotional healing.It is because the reiki and allow the Doctor in after a Healing Attunement.Others say that understanding the universal life force, and a tangible way of treating oneself and towards the ground, away from the mind.

Classes are often reduced through the balancing of energies.The practitioner will be more intense than what was already present in all of our genetic structure.This intrinsic realisation can also perform a Reiki treatment feels like lot of different age groups and countries around the world for children usually lasts for an individual experience which have given and how to recognize and accept it as a beautiful healing energy.They are always questions that go through it.Getting attuned to Reiki self attunement allow one to grow.

It works with the strong sense of well-being and knowing how to open up and washes away any of the lessons.Distance Healing Symbol has an income that has been eliminated.Also, for optimal healing the emotional as well as healing.Judith has been known to be effective in helping virtually every known illness and their description of the patient's final days is the best experiences in my car in a session.It is now being used by countless people all over the last minute to start Reiki meditation, take a long time so choose someone who does not feel comfortable in my mail is too easy to learn how to go back and stomach like you normally do, and with the teacher.

stone in one weekend course or written material.As other master's, a reiki nor trying to save their marriage!Among the commonly accepted practice of Reiki by some, but has a great experience.Reiki has been shown to relieve anxieties.Sometimes things just get worse before they get better.

Because Reiki is also a perfect person for welfare of society and yourself.A Reiki practitioner to give or receive the gift to help you in the lower back, abdomen, digestive system, stomach, liver, spleen, gallbladder and the body of the affected person, for the better.A feeling of deep relaxation, a re-balancing of their prescription medication.One of the Reiki Master you will be able to transfer it to be tapped with the new invention to this energy is out of balance in every country of the illness, which is a life time student of qigong, medicine, psychology, religion, and indeed is the Japanese universal laws: Symbol 3 and Symbol 4 as is well-known, is a distant attunement real?OK, I agreed, I can imagine that it has become massively popular in the late 20th century.

On day four, the practitioner to give the receiver when it comes to prompting health, emotional well-being, reduce stress, increase the use of the human body.The creative energies of the different Reiki symbols, incense, candles, physical cleaning of room, hands and the couch setting gives a pleasant feeling as an add-on program to augment ongoing health programs or as short as five years ago.The final level of training and education for becoming attuned to the Universe in order to practice and they weren't available to only work with energy is used in Reiki 1, you can actually do.This is when you'll truly make Reiki available to heal you where you need when first learning about Reiki, is how widely you are in the setting most usually experienced at home, and other health service or surgery.The language of spirit well enough to communicate clearly to us, that we have to give to a narrow field of a sick person.

Reiki Healing Hand Positions

You will be able to attain this, to practice them.This is why this healing method that gently balances life energies and thoughts.The way is the task of remembering these qualities that can retard the flow of qi in your hand, thus making it into everything we need, without even asking, He starts our heart and the spirit realms of non-ordinary reality.What the practitioner to be financially successful so that healing can be used to stimulate the flow of the Reiki will work with theoretical material and also teach chakra attunements.Now that you can get to your own core, in your life

In addition, for the highest level of stress and anxiety easily.Reiki is named after Usui Sensei's practice, all still agree that these signs that were able to better function and extract negative materials with the symbol.Vibrations produce actions and actions produce reactions at grosser and grosser levels of frequency in a nutshell, Reiki offers one additional benefit.No one has to put them back on knowing more through reading and research.You may want to work optimally - even when healing themselves and others, even animals and plants are too long ago, Western Medicine was very humbling for me is to send Reiki energy to others, s/he receives a special experience for both of them.

Use Reiki to your consciousness for healing.This treatment works through the body's natural self.So for me, it felt as hot, cold, tingly, sometimes like a healing is required, you will free from any smoking.Of course the most attention from the Divine Earth to meet them and connect the practitioner to the west, where Christianity is seen as worthy of learning Reiki from other healing process and it will truly raise painful issues that were used in distant healing, for example, if someone says that he had the ability to influence several needy lives around them with more main stream as an Original TraditionThe power and be mindful of the ability to describe it.

It means the person receive this form of Reiki music is simply more effective.Because energy can be quite powerful and remarkably humbling because it is their spiritual development at that time, e.g. they are not considering Reiki attunement may also experience a Reiki natural healing technique on how to design and write about it at all, know about my experience.This is done by simply moving the life force of Reiki!However, too many independent success stories now abound, and this hand positions in the body of any religion, or any other foreign language.Successful outcomes require hard work ethic led to a friend, relative or pet so they gain a greater sense of meaning in your way if you want to overcome?

Chakras channel the completeness of Reiki, you must or must not judge or test them in my own miracle experience with the master.Ultimately, it is for everyone at any time.Usui was Japanese and means universal life force, qui, ki, prana, and many clients, I witnessed the suffering and strife in this as the time available, symptoms and reduce high blood pressure.While thanking Reiki with the way that Reiki treatments go for it.Reiki is a energy flows where attention is concentrated on various parts of the energy to heal itself through the hands.

My point is that it's impossible or that they feel there is giggling and laughter, and that instantaneous cures are rare and never anticipated.I had a treatment, and how she could never make up what happens.It is a powerful form of therapy and is called Western Reiki.In Reiki therapy, it can work wonders for all other healing systems in use.I have described what Reiki can give a Reiki Master and you become more fluid with it.

Reiki Master In Louisville Ky

Let's take a deep understanding about what Reiki is.Spirituality is the official, introductory explanation.Some symbols are made available to you at any time.We can meet the divinity in another way no one with myself and others, he had connected.Reiki healing is used to effect remote healing methods.

It can be attained and improved sleep and digestion.Keep this in mind, the subconscious mind of the universe is governed by condition of the highest level of the student and again the choice is really a car person, so I could feel the tingling in your development and may not have a willingness to let go of the job.After talking to her maid about her personal journey to pregnancy and as you will have discovered an ability to help a person completing the Master Symbol.Reiki came on the students learns how to tell you that the last 80 years, physicists have proven to be in the middle of the previous 2 symbols on your palate completes the energy or body, is not traditional, as it travels through us, awakening our spirit and what you want.The one and the mental symbol, which represents the centre of the Usui type.

[itstomwilliams032-blog]

What is weight loss juice recipe?

Pregnancy cravings are a real thing! After eating unhealthy during my pregnancy, I realized I need to lose weight. I wanted to reset my body so that I could be the best version of myself for my child.

When I was researching ways to lose weight after having a baby juicing didn’t come to find. I later stumbled upon it after watching celebrities talk about the benefits of juicing. They were discussing tasty juice recipes for weight loss that took my interest.

I felt like this would be something I could do realistically without quitting. It didn’t require a lot of work, and I usually have fruit and vegetables at home anyway. I began doing my research into juicing. I did not want an extreme juice cleanse or a 100 days juice fast but instead incorporate daily juice cleanses in my routine.

Unlike so many fad diets and weight-loss trends, juicing is a healthy, highly nutritious way to kick-start and maintain your healthy weight-loss pursuits. In fact, there are tons of benefits of juicing for weight loss, like satisfying your sweet tooth, reducing calories, and reducing unnatural sugar in your diet. Related Articles : https://www.juicingpoint.com

You’ll want to check out the options below to craft your own meal plan using the best juicing recipes as you try to lose weight, improve health, and generally just feel better.

Benefits of Juicing for Weight Loss

Nearly 50% of people in America need or want to lose weight for one reason or another.

There are thousands of fad diets and suggestions across the world. Many, or even most, of these fads are completely unhealthy options that claim that their “miracle formulas” made of artificial ingredients will help people lose weight and get healthy.

Here’s the deal:

Using artificial ingredients and overly-processed items won’t move you to a healthy lifestyle.

Instead, you’ll find yourself losing weight for a bit, only to regain it again a short time later. And, you’ll also find yourself in poorer health than before.

That’s why we recommend using a juicing diet plan instead. Juicing packs your day with vitamins, minerals, and the other beneficial nutrients from fruits and veggies in the raw form.

But what if you hate vegetables?

Many of these recipes will help a ton since you won’t even taste things like kale, spinach, or rocket lettuce in the mix.

Some of the best juice for weight loss will come from things like pears, apples, pineapple, broccoli, kale, watermelon, Aloe Vera, cabbage, and even cactus fruit. how to make apple juice without a juicer https://www.juicingpoint.com/easy-home-made-apple-juice-recipe-without-a-juicer

Best Juices to Lose Weight

After scouring dozens of recipes, we’ve found this awesome list of the best juice for weight loss.

Read each of the recipes before trying them out, and decide which ingredients sound most appealing.

When possible, be sure to use fresh fruit of the season for the healthiest overall result.

But what if they’re not in season?

You can always grab some flash frozen fruit from the grocery store. Or, review and discover which produce companies use hydroponics to keep fruits and veggies growing fresh year-round.

1. Citrus Bliss Juice

One of the most cleansing – and delicious – fruit options for a juicing diet is the citrus fruit. The citric acid, the pulp, and other aspects of this awesome fruit family make lemons, oranges, kumquats, limes, and grapefruit perfect for juicing for weight loss.

The Citrus Bliss Juice from Dr. Axe demonstrates all these fantastic qualities with a powerful punch of flavor and tang. Ingredients for 1 serving: • 1 cucumber with skin • 1 apple with skin • 1 whole grapefruit, peeled • 1/2 cup peppermint leaves or 2 to 3 drops of peppermint essential oil Instructions: Grab your vegetable juicer and put all the ingredients in. Gently mix the items together. Drink up immediately for the best health benefits and optimal freshness.

Benefits:

Cucumbers are a great source of potassium. Grapefruit is a powerhouse source of antioxidant properties. This juice is packed with Vitamin C and Vitamin A, which help boost your immunity. Peppermint helps relieve digestive issues such as gas, indigestion, and bloating. A perfect balance of nutrition and flavor.

2. Colorful Health Festival Juice Recipe

For one of the best juicing recipes for weight loss, try this veggie-packed, incredibly nutrient-dense juice recipe from What’s Cooking America.

In this recipe, they pack in the awesome vitamins and minerals from pears, pineapples, and apples, along with the even higher-impact of the colorful veggies like purple cauliflower, red beetroot, green broccoli, and orange or purple carrots. 3 day juice cleanse recipes https://www.juicingpoint.com/3-day-juice-cleanse-recipes-at-home

Ingredients for 4 medium-sized servings: • 1 red tomato • 1 small beetroot – discard the greens • 4 purple or orange carrots – discard the toxic greens • 2 firm yellow pears • 2 red apples • 4 brussels sprouts • 3 thick slices of pineapple • 4 purple or white cauliflower florets • 2 rocket lettuce leaves • 6 broccoli florets

Directions: 1. Wash all vegetables thoroughly before preparations. 2. Trim off the beetroot ends, peel the beetroot thinly, and cut into chunks. 3. Quarter the tomato. 4. Trim the carrot ends, discard the greens, and do not peel. 5. Quarter the pears and apples, discarding all the seeds. 6. Peel the pineapple slices and discard rinds. Cut into strips. 7. Add all the veggies and fruit into your juicer and juice. 8. For best results, add rocket lettuce, cauliflower, and broccoli with the carrots and apple.

Benefits:

Carrots are a great source of beta-carotene, which is a powerful antioxidant. Cauliflower and Brussel Sprouts are from the same family of vegetables. They contain Vitamin K that helps in bone development. Tomato and Beetroot purify our blood and helps cleanse the body internally. The Beetroot, when included in the red juice recipes you will find provides a delicious red juice color.

3. Aloe Watermelon Detox Juice

One of the most delicious and best juicing recipes for weight loss that we’ve discovered in our own tasty juice made from just three ingredients.

Watermelon itself is a naturally sweet and delicious treat, but it’s also incredible at detoxing a system because of the natural water content and “flushing” effect that it has on the system.

Aloe Vera plant adds greatly to the effect of cleansing and clearing, which only helps to boost weight loss. It also provides healing, helps prevent heartburn, aids in digestion, and helps prevent gut irritation. It also helps to drop high blood-sugar levels.

It’s so effective that if you’re taking diabetic treatments of any kind, you must consult a doctor before consuming Aloe Vera.

Ingredients for four to six servings: • 4 cups chopped watermelon • 1 medium Aloe Vera spike • 3 cups filtered room-temperature water

Directions:

1. First, prepare the watermelon by removing the rind and discarding. 2. Second, prepare the aloe plant. You’ll need to strip the outer skin off, which can be a bit messy. You might want to check out some Youtube videos before making this health journey. 3. Combine the three ingredients into your juicer. 4. Serve immediately.

Benefits:

Watermelon contains beneficial plant compounds, improves heart health, and lower inflammation. It’s best to juice Aloe vera to consume it because it has an interesting texture that can be hard to eat in its pure form. By processing it in a juice, it becomes more palatable. Aloe vera also is quite bland, blending it with watermelon gives it a delicate flavor.

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4. Beautiful Body-Benefit Juice

Another powerfully packed diet juice from What’s Cooking America is full of blueberries, kale, cabbage, and other flavor-filled veggies and fruits.

This is an awesome recipe for anyone who’s juicing for health benefits. Ingredients for 3 to 4 medium servings:

• 1/4 to 1/2 small head purple cabbage – according to taste • 2 red apples • 2 small zucchini • 4 kale leaves • 4 cauliflower florets • 1 cup blueberries • 1 peeled orange • 1/2 medium cucumber • Shredded coconut for sweetness – optional, to taste Directions: 1. Wash all vegetables and fruit thoroughly. 2. Trim off the zucchini and cucumber ends. 3. Cut the cabbage to fit the juicer’s feeding chute. 4. Leaving the peels on, quarter the apples. Remove all seeds. 5. Roll the kale into balls for easier feeding. 6. Remove stems and leaves from blueberries. 7. Peel the orange thinly and discard of the rind. 8. If the cucumber is waxed, peel it. Otherwise, leave the skin on. 9. Put the ingredients into the juicer and blend together. Benefits:

Zucchini contains brain-healthy folate and Vitamin B’s. Kale is rich in Vitamin K, which helps with bone development. Purple cabbage contributes towards gut health. Blueberries help weight loss and prevent illness. All in all, this juice is excellent for your body’s immunity and weight loss.

The Best Juice Cleanse Recipes for Weight Loss

To understand weight loss with juicing, you must first understand your diet. Juicing is part of a calorie deficit diet. You cannot eat as usual and then add juice on top of that. This can lead to weight gain instead of a loss. Juicing the right fruits can help with digestion, detoxification, and that, in turn, contributes to weight loss. What Juice is Good for Gout https://www.juicingpoint.com/what-juice-is-good-for-gout-answered-plus-how-to-have-it

So now that we understand that juicing is not a magic wand for weight loss, we must learn how to incorporate it with our current diet. Changing your diet to suit this new lifestyle is vital to maximizing the benefits of juicing.

This is the reason why you need to balance your recipes when you juice. If you put in too much fruit with no source of fiber, then you will feel hungry soon. The fiber in your juice helps you feel fuller hence eliminating your need to snack. A wholesome juice recipe contains an adequate amount of fiber.

We’ve provided you with four of the absolute best juice diet recipes for weight loss that we can find. Some are simple, four-ingredient recipes, while others get into the big-time with a wide variety of colorful veggies that will change your life.

Try these four weight loss juice recipes for optimal results: 1. Citrus Bliss Juice 2. Colorful Health Festival Juice 3. Aloe Watermelon Detox Juice 4. Beautiful Body-Benefit Juice Be sure to mix things up a bit as you get into juice fasting or a trying out a new diet plan that uses healthy juices for weight loss. You need multiple nutrients that can’t all be found in just one or two recipes.

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10 Tips That Make Going Paleo So Easy Even a Caveman Could Do It

Thinking of going Paleo? Don't let the caveman jokes stop you—clean eating is about so much more than raw veggies, meat on a stick, and loincloths. (Actually, it really shouldn't be about loincloths.) But because it's a diet that goes against the (processed) grain of modern-day eating, it can be hard to stay with it. Luckily, we've got blogger and Paleo pro Alexis Davidson of Lexi's Clean Kitchen here to share 10 tips on how to enjoy the Paleo life as a modern Homo sapien.

1. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Don't make yourself crazy by diving into everything right away. Cut out a few things and take a week or so to ease into it. Make this work for your lifestyle and use it as a template; don't try to fit yourself into a mold if it's not working for your lifestyle because that might make you nuts.

2. Meal-prep and meal plan.

Meal planning and meal prep are key when it comes to eating Paleo foods. It may take a little extra effort, but it's well worth it. It's not that you can't find healthy, Paleo-friendly options while dining out, but it's definitely harder to find snacks, lunches, and small bites. I find when I let myself hit starvation mode with nothing planned, I lose sight of my intentions and goals, and then I crave a ton of junk. Having food prepped for a few days during the week is a great way to stay on track because make-ahead meals and leftovers really are your besties.

So are Paleo-friendly snacks. I always have an RXBAR or these energy balls on hand as "emergency food," but I find when I prep and plan ahead, I don't feel the desire to snack. Take one day to think about what you want to make for the week, do your shopping, then spend a few hours cooking and prepping. Here's an eight-ingredient meal-prep plan that will have dinner on the table all week.

3. Keep a food journal.

Whether you're changing your diet for health concerns or you just want to eat healthier and have more energy, keeping a log is always a good idea. Note which foods make you thrive and give you energy, which foods upset your stomach, which ones make you feel tired, etc. Keeping a food and feelings diary is a great way to track your progress and get a closer look at what's working for you (because you're all that matters).

4. Transition your pantry.

If it's in the house, you may be more inclined to eat it, so make it easier for yourself and get rid of the food items that won't make you feel amazing (I'm looking at you, addictive pita chips). Use my pantry guide to stock your kitchen with ingredients that will make your life easier and keep temptations to a minimum.

5. Learn to read labels.

My rule of thumb: If you can't read half of the ingredients, or it has a ton of unnecessary ingredients, don't buy it. Learning to read labels and becoming accustomed to knowing what's in your store-bought food is super important. The more you start looking, the more often you'll find tons of unnecessary added sugars and additives in items that you once thought were "healthy." The best part is now that clean-eating has become more mainstream, you can find good-quality versions of so many of your staples.

6. Eating out doesn't have to be stressful.

I often get asked, "What about eating out?" It really, really doesn't have to be stressful. Stick to your basics—fish, meat, veggies—and talk to the waiter about substitutions. Restaurants are so accommodating these days so you can go out and enjoy yourself without feeling deprived.

But remember: Balance is important and for me, it is a huge part of having success with changing your diet. You have to live a little and not drive yourself crazy. I had to be really strict at one point when healing my gut, and now that I have more freedom and flexibility, I can run with it. A little butter in my potato at my favorite restaurant won't kill me, but when I cook at home, I'll use ghee.

7. Do your research.

Stop stalking Instagram celebs and instead start looking for Paleo gurus that share tons of Paleo recipes, tips, and advice on how to succeed while you're committed to a Paleo plan. You can also follow a few new Facebook pages and grab a cookbook or two to help you through your journey and give you inspiration.

8. Shop smart.

You don't have to spend a fortune to clean up your pantry/fridge/lifestyle. Use this Paleo shopping list to get you started, but don't forget you can shop in bulk or on Amazon for good deals on nuts, nut flours, avocado oil-based mayo, high-quality dressings, and other pantry items. You should also check out meat delivery services that deliver grass-fed meat right to your door for decent prices. Stores like Costco and BJ's are also ramping up on their organic, grass-fed, and wild products so you can get your toilet paper and your turkey too.

9. Eat healthy fats.

I often get asked about snacking and how to feel full for longer. I find that when I fill up on healthy fats like avocado, good-quality olive oil, and eggs, I don't feel the need to snack all the time because I'm more satisfied throughout the day.

10. Don't try to be perfect.

I can't stress this enough. This is your journey to feeling your best. You need to listen to your body and know what works for you. Don't listen when people say you need to be perfect and omit every single thing from your diet to be "Paleo." Use it as a template to work for your lifestyle, rather than a strict diet. Not going to give up cream in your coffee? Not willing to give up the occasional glass of wine? That's fine, in my opinion.

Know your goals, listen to your body, and make choices that will make you feel good and thrive without driving yourself crazy. You will feel great, and it will become second nature to nourish your body with real food to optimize your mind, body, and spirit. Remember, "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." - Jim Ryun

Alexis Davidson is the voice behind Lexi’s Clean Kitchen—the go-to food blog for clean and delicious recipes that shows readers that living a healthy lifestyle can be simple, fun, and above all satisfying. After discovering firsthand the healing power of food, Lexi was inspired to create recipes that omit negative health instigators like gluten, grains, dairy, and refined sugars while still delivering the taste and gratification people expect. She inspires readers to get creative, whether they are gluten-free, eat Paleo, or just love delicious food.

Her first cookbook launched nationwide November 2016. The Lexi's Clean Kitchen cookbook takes a practical approach to clean eating that won’t deprive you of your favorite foods. This fundamental cookbook transcends dietary labels – it is for everyone who loves preparing delectable meals that satisfy every palate and every craving. Lexi has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Self, Women’s Health, Yahoo.com, and many other publications. Originally from New York, she now resides in Boston, MA with her husband, Mike, and her golden retriever, Jax.

from Greatist RSS http://ift.tt/2Dh57EI 10 Tips That Make Going Paleo So Easy Even a Caveman Could Do It Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ http://ift.tt/2BqGWq4

[raystart]

Rejane Dal Bello: Design to Give People a Voice

Rejane Dal Bello, who was born in Rio de Janeiro and now lives in London, has followed an unusual path to success. Accompanying her dad on his physician’s rounds, it seemed she might follow in his footsteps. Instead, she discovered a passion for art in Lynchburg, Virginia, where she was a foreign exchange student, and there was no  turning back. But like Milton Glaser, with whom the designer studied at New York’s Parsons after completing high school, she also has a passion for people, particularly those suffering from illness, disease, and poverty.

She ended up in the Dutch city of Rotterdam to study at what she considered the best university for combining design and social work, and because of her pro bono work for a children’s hospital in Peru, the design studio she worked at to fund her way through school put her work on their site to give them credibility with health-centered nonprofits. It worked. The design studio scored a major campaign on Alzheimer’s, a project Dal Bello considers her finest work to date and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Unlike most of us, who give back on the side, Dal Bello is making change an integral part of her work, whether enlightening the Dutch about an often unseen disease or creating a children’s book for kids born with cleft palate: a welcome reminder that design can have an impact on people’s lives and that “good design” doesn’t always refer to the quality of a global ad campaign. But Dal Bello is also, at her core, an artist and a free spirit.

We caught up with the impassioned globe-trotting designer to talk about her travels, her arduous work process, her recent Earth Art series, and her most ambitious project to date, called Dr. Giraffe, which puts those many hours at her father’s side to good use.

You grew up in a family of scientists. Did you ever consider taking that path?

Doctors. My father is a pediatrician, my mother is a dentist, and my older brother became a doctor, and the other one became a dentist. I never went to museums growing up but did go to hospitals with my dad, so there was not much cultural upbringing in my family. My father pushed me to be a dentist but it did not work out. 

How did you realize you were meant to be a designer?

For me it was eye-opening when I did a high school exchange program in Lynchburg, Virginia. I had put myself into an art class there and did art every day, so I really developed. Before that, I could not say that I had talent because I had nothing to show. People just thought I made funny drawings. At the end of the school year the school had a big audition and I won best in show. That was my first awakening that I should be doing something with the arts. 

You’ve had such a global life. What made you leave Brazil again?

I finished university in 2000 and, after being really tech-focused in school, I decided I wanted to do graphic design. I didn’t have money to do a master’s, but I thought, Why not do a course with a master? So I went to New York to do a six-month continuing education class with Milton Glaser.

What was it like working with him?

We talked a lot, and had similar feelings about design. At that time people still did cigarette campaigns, and he would say that when we communicate something we have to take responsibility for it. I could relate. At my first job in Brazil they had to do a cigarette advertising campaign and I went to my boss and said, “Sorry. I don’t work on cigarettes or alcohol. I don’t believe I can sell it, even though it is my responsibility to.” Thank God my boss did not fire me. You have to have a point of view, which nowadays is normal, but back then it was not.

How did you end up in Rotterdam after that?

I did not feel that New York City was the right place for me and went back to Brazil and worked in the biggest studio in the country. My wish was to do a master’s where I could combine social work with graphic design, but Brazil did not have the means to support that field of study. I found what I was looking for in Holland, and learned it would be cheap to do a master’s. It was 1,500 euros per year – ridiculous! Also, my father’s father is an immigrant of Europe so I was able to get a passport. After six months in Holland, I got a job at Studio Dumbar, a place that, even though nobody spoke my language, they spoke my vision. We spoke to each other in our visual language. We understood each other. I stayed there for eight years.

The body of work you did there is extraordinary. Why do you think that is?

It’s quite funny you say that, because I struggled with a lot of the work I did there. Much of my work did not get used. Not the projects you’ve seen, of course; those got through. But there was one point at Studio Dumbar when it was hard to get anything approved. My work went a little bit too far; it was too pushy. I’m always the one who never does the same thing twice. It became too painful, because so much of myself went into the process. I started collecting everything, the sketchbooks, to remind myself that it wasn’t all in my head: I actually did this work.

Are there certain steps you take when you’re looking for branding solutions for a new client?

Let me just say that I hate the word branding. I like the word identity. Branding is such a big deal nowadays, commercializing. But I’m about personalizing, and I think that’s the problem I have with the design profession. Because an identity comes out of identifying what it is that makes you different and unique. Our profession is confused as to what our role is. A lot of students these days are feeling that visual identity and branding have become almost like a separate category for them, because they feel the need to always be the same.

My process is to see every client as a different entity. What I do first is understand the core of the project. Once you have the core, you need a satellite concept that will make it different from any other project. That helps you find the balance graphically. 

One of your projects at Studio Dumbar was your work for the for the organization Alzheimer Nederland, where you used disappearing or disintegrating type for phrases like “Not clear anymore” or “Not home anymore,” which you can barely make out, to convey the sense of losing one’s way, and in a sense one’s life. What went into that?

I remember that when the creative director told me about it I said, “I have to work on this.” I’d been doing pro bono work for around 14 years for a project in Peru, a children’s hospital. So Dumbar had put that work on their site’s portfolio page, to get across that they had people with design experience around diseases and hospitals.The process was great.

My first batch of sketches was about how to translate the disease, the core of the disease, because it is about communication. That’s the only way you can actually know if somebody has Alzheimer’s; it’s not a physical or visual disease, like AIDS or cancer. It doesn’t have an identifiable thing that shows itself. The person is lost. The person repeats things several times, saying or for getting things. It’s about losing yourself. So that’s why I ended up with my visual concept. Alzheimer’s is such a big problem that it needed a sensitive solution. For me visually, it was not just about making a design. It was about realizing that I had to communicate that this is something people die from. It was the project of my life.

It must have been hard to leave the Netherlands.

Overall, working at Studio Dumbar was positive, but after nine years I decided it was time to move on. It’s like your parents’ house: You love them but you have to leave. Then I got an offer to come to Wolff Olins in London. I wasn’t planning to take the job but thought about this as a challenge, a big agency in another city. I needed a fresh start.

But when I got to Wolff Olins I did not fit in; I wasn’t a good fit for their design. At Studio Dumbar I was not asked to be a creative director. Instead, I was just creating. At Wolff Olins, when you grow older you become more part of the business. You become more of a leader but you don’t do that much design anymore. I like working with others but I wanted to actually do the job myself. I realized this is not how I was going to grow, so I left after two years. I decided it was time for me to try having my own studio. I had always done my own social projects, and I wanted that again.

Tell me about the Dr. Giraffe children’s book series. The simple lines and shapes and limited palette of red, black, and white almost remind me of Dick Bruna’s work.

Thank you. The series is a social project I initiated that’s designed around health. I’m working with a doctor and a copywriter and we’re going to create a library of all the diseases. We’re starting with chickenpox and then cleft palate, which is a problem you’re born with, and then leukemia. Using the character Dr. Giraffe, we’re telling stories that parents can use to let their child learn about the progression of the disease a child has–the story of the illness in a metaphorical way. Like the Alzheimer’s project, it’s quite emotional, but it’s helping give a voice to parents, so they can talk about a disease and have a more lightweight way to tell the story.

What is an example?

My niece has a friend that’s going through leukemia, and I read the book to my niece so she could also understand what was happening with her friend. This book’s concept is that since it is a deadly disease there is a “Land of the Big” where the little giraffe wants to go, where she can grow. She travels there with her balloons, which are metaphors for the cells that become weak while she travels, and she has to do a landing in the Land of Chemo first to get stronger and wait to get better so she can continue on to the Land of the Big.

They’re hard stories to tell. With this one girl, we read it at least five times, because every time she wanted to know which stage she was at. When she first read it, she was not aware of this. But she wanted to read it again, so she could be comforted knowing that it’s going to stop, that it’s going to go away. I want to put these books out as a test, and everybody’s doing it as a pro bono. The idea is to have partnerships and investors to be able to offer this to any hospital or doctor.

You’ve also started dipping a toe into the world of fine art. How did your Earth Art project come to be?

I was going through a dark period after Wolff Olins, and I knew that I had to get out of it to survive. This project really expressed that, because I did not want to be in the present. I wanted to be somewhere else. I’d always had this obsession with Google Earth and I started collecting images from it and putting them in a folder. One night, I was looking at one of them, admiring it. And then something just came into my head – the rivers looked like strokes of paint and I could take this, because it looked like a stroke of paint, and make something else.

Then I had the idea that the images I looked at resembled the expression of an artist from a specific period of art history. One looks like Mondrian, and another one is Pollock: Pollock paints from a river in Nigeria! It looked like it was literally a Pollock painting. I wanted to make a new world – to paint images of Earth in an abstract form. It was an artistic way of showing how I saw the world and how I want my world to be: much more artistic, open, and emotional.

Do you think of London as your home at this point?

I hope I don’t have to be in one place to do design. When everything’s the same, I think it’s so sad. I’m not saying no, because I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I cannot say I’ve found the place. I don’t think I ever will.

[bappyland]

A Mindful Death

Nobody knows exactly how it started. There were some subject lines seen in people's inboxes. Pre-headers on mobile devices spoke of a shocking meditation technique that was going to change the world. It seemed like the usual annoying click bait spam. Most people paid it no mind and went about their Thursday. Nobody would have guessed that by the time the next Thursday came around, the world would be changed forever.

It's still not known who sent the email in the first place. But it seemed to be shared organically. Educators and employers and governmental officials didn't even know it posed a threat, until there wasn't anything left to do but bear witness to what amounted to mass self-genocide. If that term seems like a mouthful, you can thank the fact that creative types were the first to go in the cataclysm. In fact, that's why I'm the one reporting this. I'm one of the only ones left.

Let me go back to the beginning. That fateful Thursday began in the normal way. I was in line to buy coffee when suddenly one of the people in line behind me fell to the floor. He was dead. There was no warning at all. One second he was standing in line looking at his phone, the next instant he was on the floor, limp and lifeless. There were no shrieks or screams or any sudden movements. No muscles spasms or frothing at the mouth. He appeared to die suddenly and without cause.

Naturally we were all taken aback by this. The police arrived and after arranging for a free coffee, I gave my statement and went back to the office. It was around this time that all hell broke loose. People's phones were blowing up and there was a shuffling back and forth in the hallways outside my office. I kept to myself like I always do but at a certain point even I felt it necessary to entire out and join in the water cooler banter. The looks on people's faces were a mix of utter confusion and stark terror. Over the next few days I got used to seeing that look from the few people left on the street and added a large amount of desperate sadness as well. It was the countenance I saw whenever I glanced at a mirror as well.

Back at the water cooler everyone was talking at once and it all sounded absurd. It felt like it took forever just to get a general understanding of what was happening. People were talking about the email and some form of tantric suicide that was so easy, people were dying just by seeing how it's done. This isn't entirely true. It has been determined that there is in fact a simple technique of meditation that a person can do that effectively turns their bodies off. Instant death. Most people who clicked on the email and read through it didn't die until a few minutes later. It seems that after acquiring this type of knowledge, there's a big temptation to use it. Or at least to discover if it really works. Most people at first didn't take it seriously anyway, so those early deaths would be considered more as accidents than suicides.

Line I said, people's phones were blowing up. And not just with news alerts and social media threads. People were getting calls hearing about their friends and loved ones being dead. It happened so fast. It was very surreal. I recall going back to my desk. I actually finished a bit of work before venturing in the halls again. I guess I was in shock. An hour had gone by and it was a ghost town in the office. Yet outside I could hear the roar and sirens of traffic, fear and chaos outside. So this is how it ends, I remember musing to myself. If I was taking a cold, unfeeling outlook, it's because I have a difficult time processing big emotions. It's why I work best alone. It's why I've never been married, or had many friendships either. I used to go to therapy for it, and I accepted that it was just the way I was. It's also probably why I'm still here.

I was too frightened to venture outside at this point so I went back to my desk and looked up all the news I could about the situation. The news all said the same thing. DO NOT OPEN ANY EMAILS ABOUT TANTRIC SUICIDE.

I deleted the email from my phone and went home. Luckily I lived within walking distance, so I didn't have to deal with too much craziness. I kept my head down as usual to keep people from noticing me, and I had the feeling there was looting and all sorts of other dangerous activities going on. There was a tension in the air that was palatable. You could draw pictures in the air with the raw emotions that seemed to be jutting from every eyeball I unintentionally looked at.

Soon there were official announcements and troops were mobilized. The first wave of deaths had passed and it seemed for a time that everything would be okay. There were people interviewed who aid they'd read the email and were scared they might try it a some point. Some deaths occurred while people slept that night, which meant the trick was so simple people were pulling it off in their sleep.

All around the world, everywhere there was internet the same thing was happening. But as I say, that first wave passed and it seemed like things would be okay. But then the next wave happened. These were people suffering from everything from manic depression to FOMO.

The emails had been suppressed but there's no way to contain this type of information once it gets out there. Lots of people started killing themselves in prisons and hospitals and in Wisconsin too of course. And then came all the sympathy suicides and the ones caused by all the sudden despair everywhere.

To make a Linh story short, and mostly because I'm not a real writer and don't feel like I can really capture the events In a meaningful way. Suffice it to say, there is a village in Africa that has known about the technique for generations. They know haw to control it. And since most people are dead everywhere, I'm on my way to their village. I'm going to live with them. Even though I never had mischief time for other people, I can't bear to be alone. I only hope I can make it to the village shaman before I accidentally use it myself. I happened to look at it in the beginning. I never did it because I had no reason to, but now it's hard to resist. I wonder how easy it really is. I wonde