#it’s a slow day at work today and there’s bee in here so I let it crawl on me

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Chat is it normal to let bees land on you and stay perfectly still while they crawl around

…is it normal for bees to land on a person in the first place

[underdark-dreams]

It's finally here, all 7k words of it 👀 Thank you for everyone who read chapter 1, and waited so patiently!

[ch1]

Birds and Bees - Ch.2

Rolan isn't usually the type to accept help. In his defense, Tav is very persuasive—and he is very, very desperate.

Tags: Tailplay, Oral Sex, Biting, NSFW | Word Count: 7.7k [Read on AO3]

Rolan didn’t appear again for the rest of the day.

After their awkward exchange this morning, Tav felt she might be somewhat to blame. She tried to recall the bits of Tiefling etiquette she’d picked up from the Elturians; perhaps touching his tail had crossed some sort of line? Either way, the gesture seemed unthinkably forward to her now. 

Then again…Rolan was the one who’d coiled his tail across her desk like that, its tip nearly brushing her hand as she wrote. She’d never seen him do anything like it before. If she didn't know him so well, she’d have found the move almost flirtatious.

At shop’s close, Cal took charge of locking up the front. Tav caught sight of the large iron keyring he carried and realized that it must be Rolan’s. So his brother had checked in on him today, at least—that gave her a modicum of relief.

Lia pitched in to help wipe down all her equipment and carefully fill the many waiting bottles with her cooled elixir. Tav held her tongue from repeating any of the worries she’d made after Rolan during the day—but it seemed her silence was just as damning.

“Stop fussing,” Lia repeated firmly. “Rolan’s just overdue for a rest. I mean, you saw his face.”

“I did.” Rolan had never been the type to slow down or show weakness easily. To Tav, the fact that he’d willingly taken himself to bed worried her more than anything. “Just promise you won't let him turn down a healer if he needs one?”

“If it comes to that, which it won't,” Lia said down to her work. “I promise we’ll find someone, okay?”

Tav kept her tone teasing as she packed away the sealed bottles in their crate. “Hmm, yes…if only you already knew someone with some knowledge of healing.”

Lia let out a bark of laughter. “Trust me, you’re the last person Rolan wants to see right now.”

The sting of those words took Tav by surprise herself. Lia caught their edge too; she pulled up with a grimace, letting a few drops of antidote dribble onto the desk. “Shit, Tav, I didn't mean it like that.”

“It’s okay,” Tav replied, making a fuss of sealing up the filled crate. The thought made her feel rather less than okay, which she didn't want Lia to see. “I think—I don’t know. I feel like I did something rude today, anyway.”

“Oh?” Lia’s tone was light, but she allowed a conspicuous pause to stretch between them. Tav pushed through a twinge of embarrassment to turn to face her.

“Lia, what would you think if I touched your tail?”

Lia glanced up with an eyebrow cocked. “What, right now?”

“No, just—say I did by accident.”

Lia straightened to take a thoughtful inhale. “I mean…it depends on the context. You and I are friends, I wouldn’t think much of it. Unless you grabbed it up by my backside or something,” she added with a laugh. “It wouldn’t be a big deal. If I’m walking somewhere crowded, lots of people might brush against it unless I’m careful.”

Tav had moved around to reset the rest of her clean glassware as she listened, feeling marginally relieved by the explanation.

Then Lia paused her work again. “Are you saying you touched Rolan’s tail?

“You what now?”

With impeccable timing, Cal skidded to a stop at the edge of the conversation, a heavy lockbox under one arm.

Tav glanced between the two of them. “Yes?” The word came out as a question somehow; her mouth went dry as they stared at her. “Like you said, I didn't think it was a big deal. He laid it on my desk while I was working, so I just kind of—” She mimed a little picking-up motion with her hand.

The siblings exchanged a significant look with each other. 

“What?” Tav felt her face burning and knew the color must be noticeable to either of them. “How does it being Rolan’s tail make it different?”

Cal turned back to her with a frown. “What do you mean he laid it on your desk?”

“I don't know, damn—clearly I’m no expert!” She flailed her arms out a bit. “I just turned around and it was sitting there by my hand, all right?”

Another shared glance.

“That explains it,” Cal decided. It earned him a swift pinch on the arm from his sister. “Ow, hey—”

Tav looked between them again, trying to translate. “Explains what? Seriously, if I offended Rolan somehow, I want to kn—”

“You didn’t,” Lia cut in firmly. “This one here's just an idiot. It’s harder to control your tail when you're sick or tired, and Rolan’s been both, that’s all. I'm sure it was a mistake. And he shouldn't have minded you moving it,” she finished with a decisive nod.

With that, Lia snatched up the filled crate from her with one arm and grabbed her brother’s sleeve with the other. Cal stumbled slightly as she pulled him along, but he wisely held his tongue as they headed for the back stockroom. The hinges creaked shut behind them both.

Tav was left standing alone in the cavernous interior of Sorcerous Sundries, beside the desks that she and Rolan used to comfortably share—not sure if she should feel better or worse.

—

The next morning, Rolan was once again nowhere to be found.

He hadn’t even conjured his projection the way he usually did when occupied with research in the Tower. It was a shame; the shop was unusually busy by midday, and Cal and Lia worked without pause. When she could, Tav left her alchemy just to lend a hand with customers or make runs to the supply room.

She found herself worried to the point of irritation. Was Rolan really so stubborn that he wouldn’t take a potion? Or accept healing from someone he’d claimed was a trusted friend and colleague? She tried and failed not to be hurt by it.

Then again, Rolan had always been the type to shoulder his way through awful things alone while firmly turning down help—particularly from her. His apprenticeship, most recently. The memory made her radiantly angry on his behalf even now.

“Shit—” 

Tav jerked away from the flask and sucked on her freshly scalded thumb. She must have the ratios off again; this recipe wasn’t new to her, but the nuances had escaped her all morning. These sublimates shouldn’t get nearly so hot when mixed.

Might as well admit defeat and review the recipe before she wasted yet another bunch of black oleander. Surely there was a reference text somewhere in Rolan’s library?

Tav glanced around to the front of the shop. Cal was recording a sale at the front desk; Lia was chatting with a very large half-orc over near the conjurement runes. Things seemed well enough in hand. Tav damped the flame at her station and quietly took the stairs for the portal.

For lack of a better word: the library of Ramazith’s Tower was absolutely magical. 

Tav stood breathing in the quiet afternoon sunlight, taking an appreciative look up around her. The collection must be the best one this side of Candlekeep, with all sorts of books on spellcraft, Weave theory, alchemy, religion, the history of Toril—just to scratch the surface. She could think of no hands more deserving than the ones its ownership had fallen into.

Just as Lia mentioned the other day, Rolan had clearly been hard at work reorganizing the place. She ran her fingertips over the books’ spines as she walked around the perimeter of the main floor.

She imagined Rolan with his robe sleeves pushed to his elbows, enthusiastically at work in his book stacks, and bit back a grin. There was something so endearing about his passion for taming disorder. As she walked, she found her gaze drifting to the delicate staircase at the far end of the main floor. It spiraled upward invitingly. 

She’d never been to the upper floors of Ramazith’s Tower—nothing past the library. Certainly she hadn’t stepped foot in any of the private quarters of Rolan or his siblings. She wouldn’t even know which door led to whose.

But her mind wandered readily at the thought of Rolan’s bedroom. What it might look like…smell like. 

No doubt it was packed with shelves of books and scrolls, filled with the scent of fresh parchment and leather-bound volumes. That warm, bookish smell that seemed to be woven into his robes. The fresh hint of cedar from the way he kept his clothes meticulously cleaned and stored. And that other faint spice that she could never identify, but always picked up when he stood close to her.

The same scent that had filled her lungs with dizzy pleasure when he’d hovered close to her yesterday, chin brushing her shoulder and arm circled possessively around her waist— 

She bit her lip as heat pooled between her legs at the memory. She couldn't help it—how very fucking nice it had been to feel Rolan’s elegant hands on her, casually and effortlessly touching, as if he was accustomed to touching her much more often and much more intimately.

It would do no good to dwell on that moment. If anything, the uncharacteristic gesture was just proof of how out-of-sorts Rolan must be feeling. He was her friend, and by all accounts, he’d been too sick to leave his room for days. 

With a sudden burst of determination and a disregard for the consequences, she strode for the stairs.

Taking the curving ascent so rapidly left her dizzy. Tav planted her boots on the landing for a moment, holding onto the railing while she took in her surroundings.

This upper hall was also quietly sunlit, filled with fine carpeting and oak paneled walls; but the atmosphere was somehow less grand than the cavernous library below. More intimate. 

Two doors stood on both ends of the hall. Hazarding a guess, she stepped to the closest one on her left. Its heavy oak panels swung forward with the slightest touch.

Not a bedroom at all, but a bath—and a tremendously fine one at that. All the fixtures seemed to be wrought from polished gold. Underneath a towering stained glass window stood the deepest, widest clawfoot tub she’d ever seen.

As she gazed around, Tav caught sight of her reflection in a large glass above the sinks. Her hair was all frizzy flyaways from a day over her potion work. Indulging a bit of vanity, she paused to tame it with her fingers.

One of Rolan’s many endearing habits was his dedication to fastidiousness. Never a hair out of place, horns polished and shining, robes immaculately pressed—knowing him, with a bit of the Weave.

She must look like some sort of wild hedge witch by comparison. Tav had never minded life in the wilds as a wayward adventurer, even after the Elder Brain was felled to the Chionthar. It was part of what drew her to the career of a traveling alchemist. 

But there were moments…most of them in this Tower, with Rolan and his siblings. Sharing a meandering dinner at a real table with actual chairs. Sitting with Rolan out on the starlit balcony, discussing blood alchemy over a glass of wine as they watched the harbor.  

Tav forced her hands still and stared back at her reflection. 

“What do you want?” She muttered to herself. The Tav in the mirror had no answer. But in her mind, one softly bloomed.

Over the past months, her feelings had tumbled forward faster than she could keep up with them. Seeing Rolan, talking with him about anything and everything, working beside him in quiet moments—she found those were the moments she looked forward to most.

His offer to turn one of the Tower’s empty vaults into a greenhouse for her. Essentially giving her a permanent place in his home, if she wanted it. Was it stupid to hope that he wanted more, too?

As she stood frozen silent in the confines of her lavish surroundings, a muffled sound came from her right.

She hadn't noticed the second door past the bathtub; presumably connecting to one of the bedrooms. She realized it most likely led to Rolan’s.

She stepped toward the heavy oak paneling and raised a hand to knock. As she did, more muffled noises came from within. Tav hesitated, questioning whether she should—then leaned in to press one ear to the wood.

There were the sounds of labored breathing, as if from pain or exertion. She strained her ear harder. There was something almost…rhythmic in it.

And then—she could swear—she heard Rolan's voice groan her name aloud.

A shock of heat ran through her chest, prickling up her neck and diving between the cleft of her legs. The rapid, hot ache at her core made her gasp out in surprise, then clap a hand to her mouth lest he heard. She felt her cheeks burning with realization.

Whatever she had expected to find by wandering up here…this had never been on the list. All she saw in her mind’s eye was Rolan, sweating and panting and desperate. And that thought filled her with overwhelming want in response.

Tav pushed herself back from the door with a jolt. She turned and ran, not knowing or caring whether the ring of her footsteps on tile carried past the door. Her pulse pounded against her ears as she rushed out of the room and back for the staircase. 

Even before Tav’s foot hit the third stair, she knew she was headed for the Elfsong. And a very stiff fucking drink.

—

Day passed to night and back to day again in a feverish jumble. Like a vessel adrift in a vast ocean, Rolan was passed along wave after wave of searing impulse.

Had his ruts always been this overwhelming, and he’d just forgotten? Or was there something different about the drives this time around? 

Even the little dignities were stripped away, one by one. He began by conjuring mage hands at first, but his concentration faltered too many times at the cusp. He finally just settled for his own grip. Desperate sounds rose in his chest each time he neared his next finish, the likes of which he’d never utter voluntarily.

And he quickly gave up on clothes altogether. He lay naked and spread-eagle on his sheets and tried to sleep when he could, before his demanding cock inevitably twitched back to life again. The fever turned his dreams shockingly lewd whenever he did manage to drift off.

By sunset, another strong wave of need was pulsing through his core, demanding his attention. Rolan lay back against his pillows and groaned open-mouthed as he stroked himself.

Even slick with oil, the friction between his hand and the raw, overstimulated ridges of his cock bordered on painful. His finish danced out of reach to the back of his mind.

With an impatient growl, he flipped over to his knees and snatched up a feather pillow, folding it into a sleeve for his cock. A crude solution—but with his first few thrusts, the cool softness of the silk caused a moan of relief to rise in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut as he fucked his own pillow in a desperate chase for relief.

And behind his eyelids, there she was again.

Tav appeared there so easily now. He’d tried to fight it at first—ashamed to be using her like this, without her knowledge or consent—but he found that nothing satisfied his urges so well as when he pictured her on his cock.

So he closed his eyes and imagined Tav…pliant, eager, hungry. Legs spread and center dripping with desire for him. The shameful depth of his need faded away as he fantasized her own. How her eyes might shine as she panted and gasped under him, calling him by name and begging him to fuck her and fill her and mark her as his—

What would she sound like as he took her? He conjured the timbre of her voice, always warm and musical, now canting to a whine as the ridges at his base slammed against her with each thrust.

Pressure coiled rapid and hot at his loins. Rolan slid off the mattress with legs braced, the pillow cast aside, and tugged frantically at his stiff length again. His tail arched and flicked behind him.

Through clenched eyelids he saw Tav laid at the foot of his bed, hair splayed in a messy crown against his sheets as she cried out his name. Her legs crossed behind his flanks to hold him deep inside her tight wet heat—

‘Rolan—’ She moaned louder, her heels digging into his lower back as he took her. Tav gripped two handfuls of the bedding underneath as he thrust relentlessly, chasing more of her heat around his cock, more of the delicious scent at her throat and between her legs—

“Rolan!”

“Fuck—” With a strangled gasp, Rolan’s hips stuttered one last time as his come spilled in ropes to the floor. Panting and shaking, he caught hold of the bed post with one hand as he frantically worked out the rest of his finish with the other. His head spun with the force of it.

But as he opened his eyes and his vision cleared, so did that cottony feeling in his ears. Someone was rapping insistently on the door to his room.

“Rolan, we need to talk—” Even muffled by the heavy wood, Tav’s voice was unmistakable.

“Fuck,” Rolan hissed again, this time with enough wits about him to panic. How much of that last performance could she hear through the door? He snatched up the nearest towel to wipe himself, then tripped away toward the pile of clothes on the floor that had lain untouched since yesterday.

“Go away,” he called tersely, nevertheless yanking the trousers up over his hips. Thank hells that last round had left him soft enough he could do up the laces for now.

On the other side of the door, she was undeterred. “I’m not leaving till I’ve seen you.”

Rolan cursed as one of his horns snagged the ties at the neck of his shirt. Once the fabric dropped over his torso, he whirled around to take in the state of his room. 

Bedsheets pulled sideways from the mattress; pillows strewn across the floorboards; air thick with the smell of him. Absolute filthy shambles.

Using a rush of energy he couldn't afford, he cast a mass prestidigitation spell on the space. The improvement in the air was immediate. But the resulting light-headedness caused him to stumble forward; he caught himself with a hand braced on the door frame.

“I'm not joking,” Tav called loudly, unaware he was now much closer.

He could have yelled at her to wait outside for another week, then, if he wasn't so sure she was stubborn enough to actually do so. After all, this was the person who’d defeated an Elder Brain and taken on several gods in the process.

That…and he found he badly wanted to see Tav in the flesh. Hearing her voice from just beyond his bedroom door only increased that desire. Rolan’s tail lashed behind him in helpless frustration.

“What do you want?” He asked instead, lowering his voice. No use broadcasting any more of this conversation to the whole Tower.

There was a pause on the other side of the oak paneling. “I’ve barely seen you since I got here,” Tav’s voice replied, matching his volume.

“And?” 

“And I'm worried about you…obviously,” she added. “Cal and Lia said you’re sick. But I’d feel better if we could talk face to face.” Even through the barrier between them, he could hear a strain in her voice. She wasn't lying. 

Rolan rested his horns against his braced forearm with a sigh. “Tav, I swear I'm perfectly fine.”

“Then just open the door a moment. Please, Rolan?”

It was far too pleasant to hear her say his name outside of his own imaginings. Rolan glanced down at himself. Barefoot, shirt untucked, but technically presentable. And not pitching a tent for once in the past twenty-four hours. 

“If I do, will you leave?” 

There was another pause. “If you want me to,” came the reply. He unbolted the latch and drew it open to shoulder width.

The wave of Tav’s scent hit him almost before he registered her face in front of him. The sweetness of it overwhelmed his other senses for a moment. It tested all Rolan’s limited reserves of sanity not to grab her by the waist and pull her body against him.

Unaware of the silent struggle raging in his chest, Tav stood with face tilted up toward his. Her eyes had traveled over his figure immediately, checking him over with a worried little crease between her brows. Something at the side of his head caught her eye; Rolan realized his hair hung loose and rather sweaty, exposing the slender tips of his ears.

Her demeanor changed at the sight. Tav sighed, leaning her head against the flat of the door.

“You’re even handsome with a fever,” she told him softly.

Rolan blinked at her. Perhaps exhaustion and hormones were driving him to hallucinations. “What are you—”

Faster than he could react, her palms landed on either side of his face, and Tav pulled his mouth down to hers.

A burst of colors exploded behind his eyes; the sensation of her lips moving on his kindled the dormant heat in his body to wild blaze. She notched her hands upward as she kissed him, and her fingers slid up along the sensitive tapers of both his ears.

Rolan let out a hungry, animal sound against her mouth. Both hands landed on her back and crushed the line of her body forward into his, leaving no space between them. He could feel the soft hills of her breasts pressing against his chest through clothing. The warm scent rolling off her skin and hair surrounded him with dizzying force.

The higher part of his mind was screaming at him. Rolan desperately tried to focus on what it was saying; as he did, he caught the tang of wine on her lips. The discovery gave him just enough will to pull back from her.

And he did, with one jerking step back into his chambers. “You can’t be here.”

Tav stood panting through parted lips, eyes half-lidded as they traveled over him. Rolan felt flames lick his skin everywhere they moved.

“Why not?” She breathed. “I wanted to see you.”

“You’re drunk,” he told her. He rather felt that way himself, still reeling from the electricity of kissing her.

Tav pouted at that, and Rolan wished to bite that lower lip firmly between his teeth. “I’m not drunk,” she corrected. “I’ve had a drink. There’s a difference.”

“You wouldn’t be here if—”

“If what?” Tav watched him as she took a step closer. Rolan stepped back in tandem, reflexive. She was well over the threshold now. “If I knew what was really happening to you?”

Those words sounded much more knowing than he liked. Rolan stared at her, trying to read into her face. He swallowed against the dry lump of his tongue and went out on a limb. “Which one of them told you?”

Tav shook her head. “Cal and Lia have been nothing but discreet.” 

“Then how could you possibly understand?” He demanded. The very recent discovery of how soft Tav’s lips were was making it very difficult to maintain this conversation. He could still feel the way her body had pressed into him.

One corner of her mouth twitched. “Rolan, I’d like to think I’m not completely oblivious. There have been…signs. And I’ve had a lot of time to think about them. I’ve been at the Elfsong all afternoon, just—thinking.”

At that, Rolan felt his tail twitching nervously behind him. “I see,” he replied. Pivoting, like an idiot, trying to pretend this was a perfectly acceptable conversation to have with the woman who occupied most of his thoughts when he was pleasuring himself. “And you think that I—that my—”

Tav made a quick twisting motion to get around the door. She latched it and drew the bolt closed behind them, then turned back to him.

“A lot of humans have heard rumors about Tieflings,” she confessed. “Some stupid, but some credible. I’m saying this is maybe not the secret that you think it is.” As he watched, a much deeper blush spread over Tav’s cheeks. She glanced away to the side. 

“Rolan…I grew up in the Dales, remember? Around rabbits, and cattle, and oxen. Half my friends lived on farms.”

Her analogy couldn’t be clearer. To hear her lay it out so plainly—Rolan felt the last dregs of his pride shrivel up and die. He gripped two palms over his eyes and let out a groan of abject humiliation, turning away to the middle of the room. 

How early had she connected the dots? The moment she felt him brazenly place a hand around her? Had she known all along that he was locked up here, rutting into every one of his pillows?

“Look, Rolan, I’m sorry—I didn’t know how else to say it—” 

Completely overwhelmed by his embarrassment, he hadn’t heard her follow. When Rolan finally dropped his hands from his face, he turned to find Tav standing very close to his chest.

“And I’m sorry for kissing you before,” she blurted out. “I mean, I’m not sorry for it…I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, to be honest. But it wasn’t fair. I just…wanted to know how you’d react.”

Rolan watched as her chest rose and fell heavily where she stood. The look in her eyes made his blood pound through his veins. He felt an urge to reach out and smooth back her hair to bring her in for another kiss, one he resisted.

“I care about you,” Rolan told her, before he could lose his nerve. “Our friendship. I respect you, Tav, it’s not worth—muddying things with this.” 

He felt fingers lacing through the ones that hung at his side, and despite his words Rolan tightened his grip automatically. Her hand was so pleasantly cool against the heat of his skin.

“Why do you think I’m here?” Tav answered earnestly. “I care about you, too. If I can help, I want to. Please—”

She was so close to him; Rolan breathed shallowly, but the warm scent rolling off her skin and hair nevertheless swept past him with dizzying force.

“You don’t know what you’re offering,” he managed hoarsely.

She didn’t falter. “Then tell me what else you think I should know.”

His senses were growing clouded with her; the offer that had tumbled so easily from her rang in his ears. It made the thread of Rolan’s control stretch dangerously taut.

“I won’t be gentle,” he warned. 

His inadvertent shift in tone changed something in the air between them. There was a crackling energy that hadn't been there a second before.

Tav licked her lips as she watched him. “Good.”

Rolan thought he might melt from the heat that spread across his skin. His tail snapped against the mattress behind him. If she moved a step closer, she’d feel how hard he was in his pants.

“Mating bites,” he went on hoarsely. “I’ll mark you. Quite a lot. I’ll try not to draw blood, but…I can’t promise it.”

Tav nodded. “What else?” She asked, encouraging him to go on. 

Rolan swallowed against the embarrassment. But this was important for her to know. “This time for us, it’s all about…reproduction. We become quite virile.” He nearly choked, but there was simply no other way to put it. “For the urges to pass quicker, I need to come in you.”

Tav let out a throaty hum of approval. His cock twitched in his pants at the sound. “That’s fine, I take preventatives—it’s safe.”

They stood looking at each other for another moment. That shivery, electric feeling buzzed in the air around them. Rolan wondered if she could hear the way his heart drummed against his ribs.

Tav leaned in slightly. “Well…” She said, and her wet tongue passed nervously between her lips again.

That taut thread in his chest snapped in two. Rolan crushed her up against him with a whimper. Arms circling around her waist, he nudged a thigh between her legs and firmly ground their hips together.

Tav matched his eagerness. Their lips crashed together; at the back of his mind, he felt her grip cradling under each of his ears. Her fingertips licked like flame against his scalp.

Even through layers of clothing, he could feel the heat of her. Rolan jerked her hips forward harder against his thigh; the swelling length of his cock pressed against her soft, yielding center. Tav dipped her head back from the kiss, arching into him with a moan, and her fingertips laced at the nape of his neck. 

It offered an irresistible angle at the column of her throat. Rolan’s claws raked back in her hair, pulling it to a tight ponytail. Then he tugged firmly, holding her open as his mouth descended on her neck.

He kissed and sucked along the band of muscle from her ear to the curve of her shoulder, then parted his lips to bite down firmly on her soft flesh. 

“Yes,” Tav moaned in approval above him. Her hips rolled into his, grinding herself against the hard cock straining in his pants. Rolan felt her pulse skip against his mouth. Only when he tasted sweet copper did he pull away, laving his tongue over the crimson pin-pricks of his teeth into her skin.

He took only a moment to admire the trail of marks blooming along her neck. Tav was already pulling him in for another kiss. Their lips crashed together with bruising force; her tongue explored, tasting, searching for proof of her blood against his tongue and moaning against him when she found it.

Her scent filled his mind. Without breaking from her mouth, he plucked open the laces of her pants. Rolan slipped his hand under the waistband, beneath her smalls, and slid two fingers to dip down between her legs. Her folds were shining-slick; as he nudged her in circles, a trickle of her arousal rolled down his fingers. She shivered prettily under his touch.

“You’re soaked,” Rolan groaned against her neck. 

“All because of you,” she breathed without hesitation. “Been wanting this, gods, wanting you for months. Your hands on me—cock in me—”

At the words he withdrew his fingers from her impatiently, then sucked them clean. Her sweet taste on his tongue made his cock ache. She scarcely had time to curse at the sight before Rolan gripped both arms around her waist to lift her into him.

With one quick pivot, he landed her down on the bed with his frame pressed into her. Her legs hung off the edge from the hip down, and he used the position to grind the stiff length in his pants against her cleft.

Even fully clothed, it was maddening. He could feel the wet patch between her legs, and when she arched further into him, a primal growl rumbled in his chest. 

Tav’s fingers were brushing at his sides, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Off,” she panted impatiently.

Rolan tilted back to rip the garment up over his horns, immediately reaching for her own once his was free. He stripped her frantically, ripping her smallclothes in two before he could work them down her thighs.

When she lay bare beneath him, moaning and arching into everywhere he touched, he was overcome with hunger for more of her taste. 

Rolan gripped her hips, dragging her with a jerk to the edge of the bed. With her glistening folds displayed before him, all he could do was drop to his knees and bury his tongue between them.

The sounds she made were like sweet music as he explored her. He sucked and massaged her slit with his tongue, then plunged it as deep within her walls as he could. His eyes rolled back in his head. Her taste surrounded him; his nose brushed her clit as he ate her, further overwhelming his senses with the scent of her arousal.

“Gods, yes, Rolan—” Tav moaned above him as her hands flew to grip each of his horns. She alternately tugged them and arched into his mouth, grinding her clit against his face.

He wanted to hear her say his name like that another thousand times. Rolan curled his tongue against her walls, determined to taste her even deeper, but to no avail. Without his sharp nails, he would have sunk two fingers into her.

Instead, as his mouth left her, the ridged end of his tail looped around to brush over her slit.

“Ah—” Tav gasped from the bed. One of her hands left him to prop up on an elbow to look. 

He watched her face in adoration as his tail slid between her soaked lips, coating itself in a mixture of her arousal and his saliva. Once it was thoroughly wet, he let the heart-shaped tip push experimentally into her.

Whatever hesitation he had evaporated at the way she arched and keened. He pushed in further, inch by inch, hissing in breath at how tight and wet her walls squeezed around him. Rolan felt his cock leaking between his legs at the sight of his tail disappearing into her plush cunt.

“Taking my tail so well,” Rolan praised without thinking, then groaned. “Fuck, Tav, you’re so tight—”

“Don’t stop,” she demanded, breathless.

When he felt the tip brush the limits of her insides, he held it steady as she panted down at him. Her mouth hung open in anticipation as she watched him lean in again for her center.

But instead of landing on her clit, his mouth met with the soft skin of her inner thigh and sucked it firmly between his teeth.

Tav gave a little yelp of pain, but her walls constricted around his tail so hard he moaned against her flesh. He left two more lovely red marks against her thigh before withdrawing his tail from her, leaving only the tip inside her silk.

Then he thrust back into her and took up a forceful rhythm of stretching her open on his tail.

“Fucking gods,” she gasped, gripping both his horns again. He felt her use them as leverage as she bounced her hips down to meet him. 

“Like this, don’t you?” Rolan urged her on, drunk off her desire. “Fucking yourself on my tail—” He leaned down to take another taste of her clit, swirling and sucking as the ridges on his tail dragged more wetness out of her with each thrust.

“Yes,” Tav moaned, shaking under him as his tongue worked over her clit. “Feels so perfect in me, so—ngh—!”

When he flicked the tip of it up inside her, Tav’s words stuttered to incoherence. He felt her inner walls clench and flutter, and repeated the motion over and over with each thrust.

“I’m—oh, oh ohohoh—”

She dissolved into soft cries. The muscles at her core tensed and shuddered as she climaxed against his tongue. Rolan withdrew his tail from her with a slick release, instead clasping his mouth over her to lap down the sweet taste that poured from her. His pants were so wet he was nearly convinced he’d already come, but he felt his cock straining against the fabric just as firmly.

When her thighs collapsed limp to either side, Rolan pushed himself to his feet for a look at her. Tav’s eyes were bright, cheeks flushed with arousal, her hair coiled out in wild tendrils that framed her like a crown. Their eyes met; with both hands on his arms, she pulled him down for a kiss.

Rolan landed braced on his forearms. Their tongues slid and pushed together, trading the taste of her release. When he felt her reaching between them to undo his laces, he pulled away to loose them and strip off the rest of his clothes. 

Tav reached for his erection, and before he’d steadied himself, she gripped his length to drag the generous droplets of precum around his tip with her thumb. His hips bucked into her.

“Eager, aren’t you?” She teased softly.

“Yes,” Rolan groaned. Tav’s soft hand was around his cock for the first time; it was all he could do to locate words. He knew his face was flushed and tense with arousal, but Tav only looked up at him with appreciation from where she lay back on his bed. 

When she guided his length across the wet of her core, he rocked his hips to drag his ridges across her. She shivered slightly, still sensitive, but rolled into him.

“Need you,” Rolan panted, not sure whether he was asking her or begging. “Tav—please—”

Tav’s hand lined him up with her entrance. When his leaking tip nudged inside her, Rolan pushed forward with one slow, determined cant of his hips.

The cool slick of her walls clutched each inch of him so perfectly. A low groan rose in Rolan’s throat—this was the closest thing to real satisfaction that he’d gotten in days, and he hadn't even started moving yet.

“So good,” Tav said under him, voice sweet and husky. “Keep going—”

Rolan braced his hands against her hips. He pulled out slowly, legs shaking beneath him, then pushed back into the tight plush of her. 

His hips took up a firm pace, and Rolan couldn't bite back his whines as he plunged his cock inside her. Whatever his fevered imagination had conjured, it was nothing compared to this—he fell over her again, fangs skating against her breast as her body rocked under him with each thrust.

“Yes, yes, fuck—” Tav was just as breathless as her fingers gripped the infernal ridges on his shoulder blades. She tugged, egging him on.

Rolan took the invitation with enthusiasm. He nipped and sucked around the swell of her breast, breathing in lungfuls of the sweetness rolling off her skin.

“Harder,” Tav begged, the words vibrating against his lips. The hunger inside him surged in agreement.

Rolan’s lips fastened over one nipple. He sucked, hard, letting his tongue roll her against his teeth. Tav let out a whimper, but he felt her legs crossing around his hips as he continued to bury himself in her.

Rolan pulled away to look at her face. A mist of sweat dusted her brow; Tav’s lips were parted and twitching with silent words. 

“Look at me,” Rolan ordered, still filling her with his cock in a steady rhythm.

Tav obeyed, her eyes shining and pupils blown wide. He straightened away from her, never breaking, and laid a hand each on her calves. Then he pushed up, folding her legs to her chest and opening up her cunt even deeper for him.

“You look so beautiful like this, Tav,” he told her, thighs trembling with the effort of keeping his pace slow and steady. “Folded in half in my bed. Stretched around my cock so perfectly.”

In response, Tav’s hands grabbed her knees, pulling herself open even further to each side. “Is this how you imagined it?” She asked wickedly. “All alone—wishing it was me and not your own hand—”

Heat prickled across his neck and shoulders, but Rolan was too far gone to feel shame. He couldn't resist breaking eye contact, however, watching the way his cock stretched open her dripping cunt.

“Just like this,” he panted in answer. She took in breath to respond, but he was already slamming back into her at a reckless pace.

The lewd, wet sounds of his thrusts filled the room, layered with their chorus of whines and moans. Rolan shuddered at how slick and tight she was around him, perfectly gripping each inch of his needy length. His cock throbbed in anticipation of a satisfying release, finally, after all these times of not quite enough—

“I’m close,” he panted, gripping her hips to pull her down deeper onto his cock. The tip of him nudged against the limits of her walls. “Where should—”

“Inside,” Tav insisted, still holding herself wide for him. “Only inside, Rolan, want you to fill me up—fuck—”

The imagery pushed him over the edge, and he did just that. With a throb of release, he felt his cock pulsing and filling her deepest walls with his seed. His hips stuttered into her as he pushed his spend as far into her as he could reach.

Tav clutched his shoulders as he came, humming and moaning out praises for him. Their hips rocked together, nudging his coated length back against her deep center. 

Tav went tense under him. He forced his eyes open and saw her lips parted in surprise.

“I’m—oh—!” 

She gasped in shock as her own climax gripped her. Rolan hissed in breath at the way she clenched and fluttered so suddenly around him. His length was still hard, and his ridges pulsed against her.

As she drifted back down, Tav’s eyes finally lit on him in a daze. “What…what was that?”

Rolan was abruptly reminded of how many ruts he’d spent without a partner. “I'm sorry, I should've warned you,” he confessed. It was hard to form his thoughts while still inside her. “During the cycle…infernal traits get stronger. Like incubi. Helps attract a partner.” Somehow this explanation was more embarrassing than any of the other filth he’d just spoken to her.

Tav stared up at him. “You're saying your come is going to make me come?”

“Essentially.” Rolan shifted inside her slightly, still not confident he was done. “I apologize—I didn't think to tell you. Is that a problem?”

“Rolan—” Tav let out a breathless laugh, and the sound went straight to his chest. “This is the exact opposite of a problem. Just a bit of a shock, that's all.”

The lovely sight of her happy and satisfied under him was too much to resist. Rolan leaned forward on his arms to kiss her, trapping her legs between their chests.

As her hand stroked softly under his jaw, Rolan felt a second ache settling in his loins. He released her lips for just long enough to push her legs out over his hips, then ducked back down for her mouth.

He rolled his hips into her slower this time, but it was somehow more intense. Their lips stayed connected as he drove into her deep. Her walls were slippery with arousal and his own seed, and they gripped like pure silk around his cock. Her opening slid over the sensitive ridges at his base with each thrust.

When he dipped a thumb between their bodies to rub circles over her clit, Tav broke away with a little gasp.

“I can’t again,” she said, panting.

“You can,” he told her simply. “Hold on to me—” 

She did, wrapping both arms and legs firmly around him as if he was her anchor. Rolan dipped his head to her neck as he doubled his pace, their hips slotting together with each brisk slide into her. He breathed deep against the curve of her shoulder.

Still so hungry for release, it wasn't long before he came again hard. This time he just barely pumped his spend into her before he pulled out to look down.

Sticky white seed dribbled out of her slit, running down toward her hole. He dipped the thumb circling her clit down to swipe it back up across her cunt, painting his come across the bundle of nerves at her peak.

Tav’s thighs twitched under him, and she gripped his arm tight with one hand. She swore as he continued flicking across her clit with the wet pad of his thumb, then whined out his name.

While her next orgasm nearly doubled her in half, Rolan tilted his head to watch the sight between her legs. She was soaked, twitching, utterly intoxicating. Her contracting walls pushed more of his spend out of her; it flowed generously from her slit and soaked down into the bedding below.

Finding himself now utterly spent, Rolan collapsed on his back next to her. As he did, he realized his legs had grown fatigued to the point of buckling from the exertions. He let his body sink heavy into the mattress. 

“I made a mess on your sheets,” Tav panted from beside him. 

Rolan groaned at her descriptive language. The fact that his length continued softening was a sign his urges were finally giving him a reprieve, however. “It was mostly my fault.”

She only let out a weak breath of laughter.

Too tired to trust his shaking legs, he reached an arm blind over the side of the bed and snatched up the first fabric it touched. His discarded shirt.

Pushing himself seated, he gently reached to dry between Tav’s legs. One of her hands traced the ridges on his back as he quietly tended to her.

“How long before the next?” She asked him.

“An hour or two.” Rolan didn't look at her. “Tav, you've done more than enough for m—”

The mattress shifted as she sat up and turned his face into a waiting kiss. It was soft, just a chorus of little presses across his lips.

When Tav pulled away, she tucked the damp curtain of his hair behind one ear. “Rolan, unless you want me to go, I'm staying until it’s over.”

Rolan cast a glance over her. Despite the fact that she was naked in his bed and covered in blooming bruises from his mouth, she was very much the same Tav as ever. “Thank you,” he told her quietly.

She pushed him onto his back with a sudden laugh, landing with her chest pressed to his. “What an utterly Rolan thing to say,” she mused. “Need I remind you I just came three times?”

Tav was teasing him, and was of a mind to put her in her place—only he found that none of his limbs wanted to move at the moment. Instead, his only response was a deep hum as his eyelids drooped shut.

He felt the mattress shift as she rose and wished he could reach out to stop her. But a moment later she curled up next to him again, dragging a soft quilt over their bodies. 

Rolan turned inward to rest his head on Tav’s chest—and fell into his first real slumber in days.

[notjustjavierpena]

Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia: Chapter II

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: I'm so sorry for the very long wait. I ended up separating the chapter into two parts because it ended up being 13k. Hope you can forgive me!

Chapter Summary: In which you get married to the General. 

Pairing: General Marcus Acacius x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Chapter warnings: +18, arranged marriage, historical sexism, probably historical inaccuracies, large age gap, religion in the form of Roman Gods, shitty parents, anxieties over wedding night

Word count: 5k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57443332/chapters/151335016#workskin

Chapter II: A wonderful day for a wedding

Due to the warm night, it doesn’t surprise you when dawn brings the most beautiful sunrise all year. The landscape outside is bathed in gold and when you gently guide a lost bee out of your bedroom window, you feel the warmth of the sunshine prickle your skin.

You have a great deal to do before the carriage ride to the Acacius estate, so you hurry through breakfast - bread and cheese with herbs - to make sure there are enough hours in the morning for your bath, your grooming, and your dress preparations. 

You gently wash off the sweat and sleep from last night by rubbing slow circles down your arms, legs, and chest with a piece of soaked cloth. The excitement pools in your belly as you focus on the dream wedding belonging to the little girl in your heart happening today. The fact that it is arranged by your parents doesn’t diminish the fact that your tunic is beautiful and the festivities will be worthy of the Gods. You have no tears and concerns for Cassius left, you say to yourself, or at least, you’re not allowing yourself to have any left. 

“A perfect day for a wedding,” your mother says as she brings you more water for your bath instead of the maids, pouring the freshly hot water into the tub by your feet. Afterward, she moves to sit on a chair behind you to wash your hair. 

“Mother,” you say while she tilts your head forward, pouring water over the back of your neck, “I want jasmine flowers in the wedding crown, can we please have a maid pick some from the garden? Marcus— I mean, General Acacius will be impressed if I remember our conversation from yesterday.” 

The warm water feels soothing as it cascades down your shoulders, even more soothing is your mother’s fingers detangling your hair with practiced care. You spot her in the full-body mirror along the wall, her face sporting an affectionate smile, “Jasmine is his favorite? The General told you this? He must like you, my daughter.” 

“Mother, we barely know each other,” you let out a little laugh and turn your head back to look up at her. She grins down at you, smoothing her palm over your wet hair to squeeze out some excess water.

“Yet you already care what he thinks,” she points out with a slight hint of teasing. You splash a few drops of water in her direction and she acts outraged in only the way a mother can. The both of you laugh, the bubbling feeling warm in your chest until you also feel melancholic. The feeling that you should have had last night comes creeping up on you now.

“I’m gonna miss you and father,” you say softly and she wraps her arms around you from behind, not caring about getting her clothes wet if it means squeezing you enough to make you feel how much she loves you.

“I’ve been through this two times already. You know we still see both of your sisters. I am not sending you off to another country,” she soothes, rocking you from side to side and pecking the top of your head. You reach up to hold her wrist. 

“I know this but I’m the last bird leaving the nest,” you reply with eye contact in the mirror, corners of your mouth turning downward. You sigh quietly. 

“And father and I will finally be able to have some peace around here,” she tries to make you laugh again. When it doesn’t happen, the tone of her voice changes into something more serious, “I know everything feels safe and familiar here but you will grow to love your new life. Change is good.”

“I still feel like a child,” you lean back into her and stare down at the water that is growing colder, “You should have seen me trying to have a conversation with him yesterday. He is much older and more experienced than I am. I made a fool of myself not just once.”

“Listen to me, dearest,” she releases you from the confines of her arms and lifts your head to find your gaze in the mirror again, “I know that this is not a matter of love. I understand, my dear. This union is a great responsibility, but it can also be an even greater source of joy and strength for you. Your father and I have always wanted what’s best for you, even in situations where it might seem like it is only to our own advantage. Yet think about the possibilities this match will bring you; you will be the wife of a general. You can do anything.”

You nod with an understanding that is still marked by sorrow for the life you will leave behind, the dream of true love delivered by Cupid himself that will not be fulfilled now, “Yes, Mother.”

“And I will say this with confidence,” she continues, now with a gleam of pride in her eyes, “You are not a child, in fact, you have grown into a remarkable young woman. One that you can be very proud of. I know I am.”

A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth and eventually, you cannot hold back the breath of air that you have been holding. Your eyes are watery, your mouth grinning with teeth from being reassured so affectionately by your mother. You suppose that you can get through this day with those words playing on your mind, “You had that rehearsed, did you not?”

“Not at all, came straight from the heart,” she giggles and gets up from her seat. She walks to stand at your side, offering you her hand, “Now, let’s get you out of the tub and make you more beautiful than even Goddess Venus herself. Today is a celebration of everything you’ve become and everything you will achieve with your husband. However, remember that General Acacius is even more fortunate to have you and your heart by his side.”

“Thank you, Mother,” you say as she helps you to your feet, holding you steady as you step over the edge of the bathtub. 

She wraps a linen cloth around you, “I’ll send for the flowers right away. The tailor has already been with your tunic this morning, I’ve had the maids hang it in your room.” 

“Perfect,” you smile. You leave the bathroom while another ancilla - a maid - empties the tub, hangs the linen towel to dry, and mops excess water from the floor. 

As you make your way back to your bedroom, you notice your home is abuzz with servants doing all sorts of tasks to ensure a perfect day. They pass you with kind smiles and congratulations, carrying wine in jugs and baskets of fruit and vegetables, freshly baked bread, and flowers for decorating. 

You think back to Marcus’ beautiful garden, wondering how it is taking shape to be the venue for your union. The red roses are sure to compliment your red veil, the marble the golden embroidery on your tunic too. 

But then, as you enter your room, you think about Cassius’ words from last night. In less than a day, you will belong to one of the most powerful families in all of the empire and despite this, it sounded like it did not ensure you the safety that your father had foreseen with this match. Quite the contrary, it seems like you are getting into something that’ll wash the pink and fluffy clouds away. 

However, the concerned thoughts last only a moment as your gaze falls on the beautiful tunic hanging on the wall, just out of the sun’s rays. You smile and sigh, brushing the woven fabric delicately with your hand. It is long and white, embroidered with squared patterns along the shoulder seams and down the short sleeves. You know that Marcus’ own attire will have the same stitching and color, signaling that the two of you are weaved together from now on. 

The veil hangs beside it and is as red as the fires that you have seen built for sacrifices to the Gods. Your mother has taught you enough during wedding preparations for you to know exactly what it is supposed to symbolize; you will be given to General Acacius today and you will belong to him in the same manner as the many gifts that have been given to the many Roman deities, like the coin you tossed in the fountain for Fortuna. 

After taking the tunic off the hook on the wall, you let the linen around your body fall to the floor and slip your wedding attire on. You sit down on the chair by your vanity and gaze at your reflection in the mirror, staring at the woman you have become in such a short time.

You adjust the neckline of the garment, smoothing out any crease that makes you seem less than perfect and then you grab your hairbrush to start detangling your hair. After having brushed your hair for a while and getting lost in the mindless task, a knock on your door distracts your thoughts. 

You quickly get up to hurriedly step behind the room divider in the corner, not wanting to reveal your look before it has gotten its final touches or in case the person seeking entry is your father. 

“Come in,” you say when you are hidden from view. 

However, it is your mother again who carries the wedding crown, which has now gotten beautiful jasmine flowers weaved into it. From the sound of the different footsteps, you deduce that she is followed by two servant girls who have come to help you with the remaining details of your outfit.

“I brought Lupa and Nidia to help you,” she chirps, hands the wedding crown to Lupa with the utmost care, and then gently sits down on the chair by the vanity. She waits as the girls join you behind the screen, “Quickly now, we have to be ready to go in half an hour.”

Nidia has gotten the veil from its spot on the wall, now draping it over the top of your head while Lupa secures it with the flower crown. You can smell the jasmine, feel the soft fabric of the red veil brush your bare arms, and suddenly, the weight of today begins to bear down on your shoulders. You swallow thickly as you look at yourself in the full-body mirror. This summer has changed you since you got the news of your arranged union, and suddenly, as you look at yourself at this moment, you are surprised to see that a bride stares back at you. 

“You look perfect,” Nidia says softly as if sensing your nervousness. She holds your gaze in the mirror and smiles a little when Lupa joins in with a happy, agreeing nod, the both of them adjusting the veil to cascade down your back gracefully. 

“Thank you,” you say gratefully and relax a bit more. At least how you look is going to be talked about the most but then again, will this enhance your future husband’s desire? What will happen when he gets you alone in his chambers? You shake the thought, not used to the idea of being perceived in such a fashion even if you tasted the idea yesterday, “Okay, I think I am ready.”

As you step out from behind the divider, your mother radiates maternal pride and clasps her hands together, “Oh, by Venus, you are radiant! I don’t know what your father was doing with all his worry.”

You try not to overthink that statement and act casual, very much aware that you have not seen him today. Instead, you ask, “Where is father?” 

“He has gone back and forth between our home and the General’s many times today. I suppose that he wants everything to be perfect for you and make you happy,” she keeps her voice high-pitched and cheerful but you can feel your gut telling you that she isn’t completely convinced either. She may have been making jest of you being the last of her daughters to marry but you know that your father sees you as more of a chess piece - the final move out of three - than his blood.

In your wedding attire, sparkling as Lupa gets the box of jewelry and Nadia adorns you in gold, you think again of the way your father had handled the negotiations of your marriage; how little concern he had shown for your thoughts on the matter, and, possibly without intending to, made it clear that this isn’t about love or even your happiness. It is about influence, power, and ascension to something right under the Gods.

“He’s always wanted things to be perfect for us,” you say with a forced smile, though your mother doesn’t seem to notice the strain on your face, “Ever since we were little, it was always about making sure we made the right connections, the right alliances.”

Your mother looks up at you, not quite as oblivious as she tries to convince you of. Her smile softens, “It’s just his way, my dear. He wants the best for you, for all of us, and you like the General! I can tell.”

The best for him, perhaps. You dare ask a question that can only exist between women who understand that you live in a world ruled by men. “Mother, do you think he would have arranged this if General Acacius had been… cruel?”

The silence that follows is thick, and in that moment, you realize that the answer may not be one you want to hear. You stare at her, brows furrowed as you wait for her to say something, but in the end, she avoids your gaze completely. 

“It is time to leave,” she says instead and turns to Lupa and Nidia who have gone completely quiet, “My daughter needs escorting to the carriage. We cannot keep my husband waiting so close to the time of the ceremony.”

You swallow thickly but do not protest, a heavy feeling in your stomach as you are led out of your home, taking in the details of the surroundings that you grew up in for what feels like the last time.

—

Upon arrival at Marcus' estate, you are greeted by who you assume will be your new maid. Ismene is her name, a woman not much older than yourself but with rougher hands, the kind that have known hard labor. She wears a plain tunic and her hair tied back in a braid, curtsying as you step out of the carriage. 

You hear your mother tell Lupa and Nidia to stay back in case it’ll insult Ismene that you have brought maids from your home but Ismene just smiles, her eyes flicking up at you as she bows to catch a glimpse of who she will be serving from now on. 

“My lady,” she greets after stretching to her full height again, a twinkle in her gaze and a gut feeling telling you that she has no ill will towards you, “Everything is ready for you. The General has requested that you go to the gardens immediately where the ceremony will take place shortly.” 

She leads you and your mother through the mansion that is as beautiful as you remember it from yesterday. Except this time, seemingly overnight, the home has been decorated to be fit for festivities later. Your mother walks beside you, her expression calm, but you know her enough by now to sense the tension beneath the surface. She glances around the estate with careful eyes, not having been here before since your father refused it, and is perhaps judging the wealth and power of the man you are about to marry. Maybe, she may even be worrying for you.

You must screen your face from the sun in the gardens, but you still cannot help but notice the red roses and the ivy snaking their way around the columns that surround the spot chosen for the ceremony. Their colors are striking and beautiful against the white marble, eliciting a gasp of awe from your mother. What you also cannot help but notice is the return of the flutter of excitement that stirs in your belly, one that feels out of place among your adult worries. Everything is even more gorgeous than you had imagined in your childhood daydreams. 

“It’s beautiful, truly. The Gods have indeed favored us,” your mother praises in a whisper just as the three of you come to a halt. Ismene has stopped in her tracks just out of sight from the guests who are here to witness the marriage, and she is deliberately quiet to give you and your mother this last brief moment of privacy before everything changes. 

Your mother reaches out to gently touch your arm. In response, you turn to her and are met with her warm and reassuring smile. She cups your face and kisses your forehead. 

“Remember that father and I raised you to be strong,” she tells you with tears welling up in her eyes. You can feel your heart beating harshly against your chest as you recognize both fear and excitement on her face, and you suppose that there’s grief in her following this; her last child leaving home will be the end of her being needed. 

“Te amo in aeternum, Mamma (I love you forever, Mom),” you only just manage to say as your throat feels tight and you can hear footsteps approaching. 

You know it is your father by the commanding pace of the steps, the way the feet strike the earth with determination. He rounds the corner with a small smile on his lips as he sees you. 

“My beautiful daughter,” he greets you and immediately holds his arm out for you to take. There’s urgency in his voice even if it is tender at the sight of you, “It is time.”

“Are you ready?” Your mother interrupts, earning a glance from her husband. His presence somehow looms larger after that question, as if he wants to scoff at the thought that you could ever say no. He shakes his arm with an impatient smile when you still have not taken his arm. Clearly, this is not a moment for lingering but a moment for you to fulfill your duty.

You swallow hard and then you turn to your father. With a nod, you place your arm through his, “I’m ready.”

“Then let us not keep the General waiting,” he smiles.

The wedding ceremony is swift and takes place underneath the blazing sun of Rome. Marcus Acacius stands at the altar, his tall and broad figure exuding strength and importance. You feel drawn to the way he looks as he watches you walk down the pathway between the guests, stoic and calm in an attire that matches yours. You feel reassured by him because of this strength, that if everything fails, he will catch you.

When you stop in front of him and your father nods in a way that feels transactional, you swear that you can see his eyes soften. The officiant drones on but you don’t hear a word, the thoughts of last night when you were alone in your bed flooding your mind and causing your heartbeat to drown out noise around you. You can still feel the warmth of your own touch between your legs and it’s so consuming of your attention that you suddenly hear someone clearing their throat. 

“We will now perform the joining of hands, dear,” the officiant repeats and you can see that Marcus is already holding out his palm for you to place your own in. Your face is hot, your cheeks prickling with embarrassment but you recover by not letting it faze you. Marcus smiles ever so gently when your hand takes his and a leather band is wrapped around them. You say your promise to him like you have practiced so many times in the mirror back in your room.

Where he is your Gaius, you will be Gaia. Mother nature. The first goddess. The one who made sense of chaos. 

“Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia.”

–

In the early evening, the festivities begin with a banquet that makes the ones your father has hosted in the past pale in comparison. There’s people and food and people eating the food everywhere. Goblets get continuously filled by servants and bread with oil, butter, and cheese gets restocked as soon as it might look like serving platters are emptying out. However, it is not envy that you see on your parents’ faces as they take in the long table that abounds in the season’s most beautiful flowers laid out in rich displays of colors, or the most expensive foods that are replenished before anyone can take notice of their shortages, but rather pride in your mother’s eyes and some sort of distasteful greed in your father’s.

It makes you think of Cassius again, the idea of his stomach growling as he makes his way home from laboring in the fields surrounding your village. He would hate this, you think to yourself, the sight of the uppermost elite of society stuffing their faces but not for nourishment.

You look down at your hands when you start to feel bad for thinking of another man while sitting right next to your new husband. Yet Marcus doesn’t seem to notice the way your shoulders slump. He smiles warmly at each congratulations that he receives while you sit at the end of the same long table and you’re surprised to see that it comes off as genuine each time. He graciously lifts his goblet of wine as thanks, nodding to the faces of men his own age who approach with offerings and gifts. You’ve seen them steal glances at you when they think others haven’t noticed. 

You wonder if Marcus has, if he feels triumphant or enraged by the lingering appreciative stares that you receive right before they go back to their wine. 

It is to be expected with how beautiful your mother has made you for this day, you say to yourself in your new state as an object of desire, but still, you are without much appetite from being stared at. It makes you think of your wedding night and the duty that lies within it. As a comfort, you reach for your goblet of wine frequently throughout the evening and completely ignore the delicious smell of roasted meats and the sight of shiny green grapes and berries that you have on your plate. Right now, they make you feel sick. 

Sensing your discomfort, Marcus holds his hand up to stop an approaching guest and turns his attention to you. His gaze follows the movement of your hand as you lift the goblet to your slightly-stained lips once more. Gently, he reaches out and covers your hand with his, taking the cup away from you.

“No more wine. I don’t want you to feel unwell on our night together,” he says simply and firmly but there’s affection in his command, a concern for your wellbeing. It’s the first time that you see a glimpse of the man you met yesterday. He makes you fold quickly, nod with embarrassment as you in return stare sheepishly at him while he sets down the goblet out of your reach. 

“Of course, my legatus,” you hurry to say, remembering how your mother had urged you to show respect by referring to his rank. You offer him a hesitant smile, “You’re right.”

“I know this is not easy for a maiden as young as you, and I must admit that it is all very overwhelming even for me,” he gives you a smile in return, allowing himself to show brief vulnerability to ease your mind, “But there’s no need to dull your senses, Carrissima.”

“It was not my intention to make you feel like I was unappreciative—“

“I did not think you were,” he interrupts before you can tear yourself down in an effort to humble yourself. He places a hand on yours underneath the table, “Are you pleased with the celebration? I never notice if others are enjoying the festivities. I admit I seek solitude more often than company in these situations.”

“It is beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like it,” you reply with a nod and realize that you find the conversation less terrifying now. You blame your ease on the amount of wine you have already consumed, “If you want reassurance, a woman can always tell if people are enjoying themselves.”

“And what is your verdict?” Marcus brushes his thumb over the back of your hand. You hide the shiver that goes up your spine, breathe deeply to steady your heart after it has skipped at least a few beats. He must know what his touch does to you after feeling it yesterday.

A burst of laughter from a table nearby catches both of your attention. A group of guests are engaged in lighthearted discussions, chatting cheerfully with each other and getting up when the musicians strike up a song made for dancing. 

You observe them for a moment before turning back to Marcus again, but before you can answer, a man approaches your table with what you assume is more congratulations. You make a mental note to be more present in this, to show your husband and his guests that you are in favor of the union. However, the man leans in close to Marcus, whispering something in his ear. 

You notice a subtle shift in Marcus’s demeanor; the previous warmth in his eyes momentarily replaces itself with a focused seriousness. He nods at the messenger, who quickly slips away into the crowd before you can even register what he looks like.

“Is everything all right?” You ask with curiosity and concern. 

“Yes, nothing to worry about. Just a small matter that needed my attention. I apologize for the interruption,” he assures you but hardly satisfies your curiosity. The seriousness vanishes completely in favor of softness as soon as he looks at you again, “Forgive me for forgetting but I must compliment the jasmine flowers in your wedding crown. They suit my bride perfectly.”

The sudden change in his tone makes your heart flutter, and you realize how intentional his words are, as if to draw you back into the moment with him. You reach up to feel the soft petals of the flowers with your fingertips. You smile genuinely at him, shy from the compliment, “It was already weaved this morning but I remembered you mentioning that jasmine is your favorite.”

He raises an eyebrow, “You remembered our conversation.”

“I wanted to show that I was attentive,” you reply, feeling a connection that wasn’t there just a moment before.

“You’ve certainly succeeded,” he replies with a pleased grin at being surprised by you.

The sunset has crept up on you while you have been in conversation with Marcus for a while, the plate in front of you suddenly having been emptied by you without much thought. You only register the darkness of the night when guests have started to get up from their seats to say goodbye and go home, and panic starts to rise in your throat when the crowd thins out enough for Marcus to send the rest home. 

You've known this night would come, and yet as you get up from your seat, standing right in the middle of all the many tables, it feels like it is brand new information that comes hurtling towards you and frightens you even further. 

With a lump in your throat, you watch the last few faces take their leave, observing how Marcus says goodbye to what you assume are the most important guests. 

When everything is quiet except for the servants’ footsteps, your parents approach you. Your mother is the first to talk, her eyes glistening with pride. 

“My dear, it’s been a wonderful celebration,” she says, gently squeezing you in an embrace. “We’re so happy for you.”

“Thank you, Mother. I’m so grateful you were here to share it with me,” you reply, accepting her embrace warmly and almost desperately due to your anxiety. You can feel her tense up when she realizes that you are hugging her to soothe yourself but she doesn’t say anything. 

Your father stands by quietly. He only nods approvingly when Marcus joins the three of you, “A splendid event. We’re confident our daughter is in good hands.”

Marcus bows his head respectfully, “You have my word that she is.”

Your father turns to you, his expression of importance softening just a bit, “Remember what we’ve taught you, my daughter. Honor and family are paramount.”

“I understand, Father,” you assure him, avoiding his eyes. The surprisingly cool interaction between father and daughter catches Marcus’ attention, and the step he takes closer to you is almost unnoticeable. You feel his arm accidentally brushing yours but you swear that there’s a sort of protectiveness in the featherlight touch even if it is unintentional. It makes exchanging farewells easier.

“Perhaps we should retire as well,” he suggests when your parents are out of sight, “Goddess Nox has already spread her veil across the sky for a while.”

"Yes, I suppose it is time,” you glance up at the stars above, feeling the cool night air against your skin. You wish he would ground you like before.

The both of you make your way to your shared chambers. The short walk feels longer than it should, the weight of the moment pressing down on you with each step. You glance at your husband as he walks beside you, his calm and steady demeanor sharply in contrast with the growing nervousness inside you. The walls of the corridor are lined with flickering torches, and they seem to stretch on endlessly. Though nothing lasts forever and eventually you come to a halt, the door in front of you leading you to your wedding night.

This is it.

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If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[babybatss-blog]

SUMMER HAZE

Sirius x f!reader (850 words)

authors notes: Warning, this is a little bit of a horny one! Things are getting warmer so I thought this would be fitting

cw: sexual suggestions, kissing.

summary: a summer black lake day with your favourite black bf <3

The new summer breeze brings Hogwarts Academy a rare yet opportune streak of bright blue skies, accompanied by the welcomed buzz of bumble bees and students flying above in the warm sunlight. With the holidays drawing near and end of year exams coming to a close, students are often finding themselves with nothing better to do than spend time by the black lake, soaking in the bright rays. You and your friends are no exception.

It’s a lousy Sunday afternoon when you present to Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas the possibility of going for a swim, which they jump at as an opportunity to distract from the blistering heat. The castle may be a solid freezing temple during the winter, but it seems that it is not well equipped for rare heat streaks such as this. You pack your towels and put on your bathers, luckily finding a spot on the pier empty for use.

Today appears to be another relaxing end of school term day, as you, Lily and Mary bring books and Marlene and Dorcas go for a swim, but these meditative plans are abruptly put on hold as soon as you hear the ruckus jeers from the marauders.

“Merlin, your boyfriends here.” Lily pouts, clearly unenthusiastic by the appearance of Sirius, James, and their two best mates. The boys take no notice of this, confidently strutting over to you in their overtly tight trunks and cocky smirks. Sirius and James seem much too pleased to see the staring crowd at their arrival, while Remus and Peter loiter behind as to not draw in anymore attention than has already been caught.

“Hello my darling” Sirius greets you, a signature smoulder on his pale face. Although you have been with him for a considerable amount of time already, his smooth words never fail to make you blush. He plops himself down next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pinching your book from your hands despite your protests. “No need for that my dear. After all, your gorgeous, sexy, amazing boyfriend is here.” You roll your eyes, despite secretly agreeing with this notion. You would never let him know though; his ego is already big enough as it is.

“Hey Sirius” you smile, taking in his beautiful features. He isn’t necessarily buff in physique, but nevertheless his lean abs gleamed in the sunlight along with his rosy cheeks and long eyelashes. How you managed to garner his attention you never know, but sometimes he makes you feel so beautiful you almost see his point of view.

And today is no exception. You take your book back from him so you can enjoy the day how you please, but it appears Sirius has other plans as he runs his hand up and down your thigh. His hand inches further and further up your leg, causing you to find it difficult to focus on your page. You glance over at him, and he smirks. He knows exactly what he’s doing. In order to stop him, you hold his hand, which doesn’t necessarily work either. Instead, Sirius kisses your neck soft and slow. “Sirius…” you mumble, slightly embarrassed by the fact that some students are looking over at you. He hums but continues to leave soft kisses up to your jawline. Rolling your eyes you give up on reading and set the book down, knowing that it was never going to last anyways. “I won” he murmurs, before locking lips with yours into a passionate kiss. You get lost in the moment, adrift in your bound love display as your hands tangle in his silky hair and his roam your back. You almost forget where you are, before Sirius picks you up and jumps of the pier!

The cold water hits your body and surrounds you, only void in the front half of your body that is still enveloped around Sirius. Once your heads break the water you gasp for air, but Sirius merely laughs. “You prick!” You exclaim, Pushing away from him despite the smile on your face. You don’t even get the moment to recollect yourself before James, Lily and Peter Jump in over you leaving a massive splash in your direction. You laugh, shocked by the sudden shift in mood before being encased by Sirius from behind. He kisses your shoulder, paddling in the water together as you watch the others swim around. His warmth swarms you, like a blanket on a harsh windy day. You spin around, arms around his shoulders and eyes engaged with one another. “You’re such a dummy.” Although these words seem harsh, your voice is filled with adoration. “And you’re so embarrassing.” He replies, with the same tone.

As the sun shines above, the water shimmers around you and the air is filled with students laughter. The day is absolutely perfect, and spending it with Sirius seems like a dream come true.

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter VI: Fire at Will

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev.

songs for this chapter: thank you for the venom by my chemical romance, that's what you get by paramore

summary: You spend the day with your brother and his friends, and it ends with an unexpected invitation.

a/n: lol... how we feelin' so far?

chapter tags: self doubt, mentions of drinking and smoking, best friend!robin and best friend! Steve of course. | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog/comment/like to support the author! Join the tag list!

-- “Hey, kid,” Your brother is hunched over a bowl of cereal in your kitchen. “Gotta question for ya.”

You pick the sleep from your eyes, still groggy as you shuffle over to the coffeemaker. “Shoot.”

“You know Scotty?” 

You turn to face him, narrowing your eyes as if attempting to read his mind. “Yeah, why?” Scotty’s a nice kid, probably your favorite of Chris’s friends. He’s always treated you like an equal, instead of his buddy’s little sister. He has long, disheveled sandy blonde hair, green eyes, and sparse facial hair, reminding you of Kurt Cobain, if he’d had a happier disposition. Chris and Scotty had grown up inseparable, it didn’t surprise you that Chris would want to set you up with him.

“Well, and don’t like, shoot the messenger here, he wanted me to ask if you’d be interested in going out with him at all.” Chris seems to wince as he says the words, only adding more layers of confusion to the situation.

You shrug. “I mean, I don’t have anything against it.” You honestly had never given Scotty a second thought, but you’ve been single for about three years now. You deserve some fun. 

“Really? Cool. We’re all going to the skate park later, you should come hang. Test the waters.” Chris points at you. “I’ll let you pick the snacks.”

You can’t help but scoff. “I pick the snacks anyway, Crispy.”

“Of course, Beebs.”

–

It’s unseasonably warm for October, requiring only a hoodie and your go to knit beanie for coverage. Chris greets his friends, dapping each of them with a unique flair you can’t comprehend. Boys confuse you. Luckily, you’re not the only girl there, some of Chris’s friends have brought their girlfriends, and when you go to greet them, your smile is wiped from your face. 

“You’re Bee!” Macy extends one manicured hand out to you from where she sits on the graffitied wooden table. “Hi, Macy.” You greet her lamely, shaking her hand that feels way too soft to be natural.

“These are my girls, Fiona and Zoe.” She motions to the girls beside her, both of them absolutely stunning. Fiona has dark skin that seems to glow in the sun, her hair in long, tight braids down her back, wearing a Citizen sweatshirt and ripped baggy jeans. Zoe is a petite girl, with purple hair tied in space buns on either side of her head. She’s wearing a shirt three sizes too big, her black jeans cuffed. You suddenly feel far too self aware for your liking in your paint stained cargo pants and hoodie worn with age. “Where are your buds, Bee?” Macy asks, passing you what looks like the butt of a joint. 

“What, Steve and Robin? They’re working today, I’m just hanging out with my brother.” You inhale the roach, feeling the sting in your throat before passing it along to Zoe. “You guys skate?”

“Roller, mostly.” Zoe pulls a pair of neon green roller skates out of her duffel bag. “You?”

“A little, nothing impressive.” You drop your board to the concrete, a hand-me-down from your brother when he’d earned enough for a new one. 

“Hello, ladies!” Scotty and Chris approach your group, with Eddie and Gareth close behind them. You can feel your facial muscles fall into a frown at the sight of Eddie, and he locks eyes with you, a teasing grin on his face. “Bee, didn’t expect you here.” You think he winks at you, but it could just be the sun in his eyes. 

“Chris conveniently left out the part where you’d be here.” You grumble, fiddling the board with your feet. 

“Huh, wonder why he’d do such a thing!” Eddie nudges your brother, who shoves him back with more force than probably necessary. You turn to look at Macy, who’s got an obvious scowl directed at her boyfriend. If that’s even what he is. 

“Can we cut the chit chat, please? My grandmother’s coming over for dinner, I need to be home by six.” Garet groans, dropping his board.

“Yeah, yeah. Chris, you bring the shit?” Eddie asks, turning away from you to drop his own board.

“Yeah, man. Who d’you think I am?” Chris shrugs off his backpack, opening it to reveal a handheld camera, fisheye lens attached. “Who’s first?”

Eddie doesn’t bother answering, pushing himself across the park to gain momentum. Scotty turns to you, giving you a smile before he follows Eddie, who is then followed by Chris, camera to his face. 

“You guys comin’? You turn to Macy, who doesn’t meet your eyes, and to her friends distracted by their phones.

“Yeah, for sure, one sec.” Zoe says, typing fiendishly. When she finishes, Macy’s phone dings in her hand, and she answers it with her own speedy fingers. You look at Fiona, who’s blowing a bubble with her gum so big you’re afraid it’ll get caught in Macy’s hair.

“Okay…” You pivot, about to push off and meet the guys, when Macy spits the next words right at her. “How do you know Eddie, Bee?”

“What?” You stumble, board slipping from underneath you and rolling away. You chase it down shamefully, returning to the girls with a red face. “He’s Chris’s friend.”

“For how long?” She doesn’t sound mad, exactly. Worried, maybe. About what, you have no idea.

“Oh, I dunno. Chris met him at an after school club where he had to volunteer in high school to stay out of juvy,” The words pour from you, uncensored. “Eddie was, like, his little brother.” 

“Oh, so he’s like, your brother too?” Her voice lilts, optimistic.

You shrug, putting no effort behind it. “He’s more like an unwanted growth, if I’m being honest.” You regret the words immediately, but Macy laughs at them, so hard that she snorts. 

“Sorry, I was just so worried he had a thing for you!” She relaxes continuing, “I like him so much, but I’m not, like, willing to compete for him, y’know? Well, that’s not true either. I would, probably. But I’m glad I don’t have to!” Her friends giggle, and you shift uncomfortably where you stand, on display in front of the three of them like an American Idol contestant. 

“Hey, lazy bones!” Chris calls from across the park, “You guys gonna skate or what? My followers love watching the ladies!”

“Yeah, we’re coming!” Macy shouts, reaching for her own pair of black and pink skates. “Let’s go upstage these noobs, huh?” She holds out her hand, and you pull her up from her spot, her friends following closely behind. The guys are eating shit, trying ridiculously hard to get the shots they need for their clips. It makes you giggle, watching some of the silliest guys you know take something like skateboarding so seriously.

“Bee, come do one! You’re probably the best out of all of us!” Scotty invites you over, and you can feel your cheeks warm with the flattery. You hold your board in front of you, gathering your momentum before dropping it, hopping on with ease. Your friends, even Eddie, cheer you on as you flip the board, landing an ollie on the first try, and grinding the rail with ease. The adrenaline flows through you, propelling you forward. The board is an extension of yourself, you control it with the finesse of a dancer. Chris films the whole thing, whooping and hollering every time you land a trick. 

“You get that?” You shout to your brother when you finish your run. He nods, offering you the camera to watch yourself back. You’re watching a completely different person, someone confident and graceful, someone that knows exactly what to do with their body, how to move it to their advantage. You don’t recognize yourself, or even really believe it’s you you’re watching. You don’t say any of that, instead only adding a weak “hell yeah” to the group commentary.

–

“Food?” Chris passes you the blunt as your group walks to the parking lot. The sun is setting, casting an orange glow over the earth. You and your friends are exhausted, bruised and scraped up, but in good spirits.

“I could go for some grub!” Scotty skips up next to you, shoulder bumping yours as he motions for the spliff between your fingers. You hand it to him, nodding in agreement. In front of you, Eddie walks with his arm around Macy, whose other hand is laced with Fiona’s, whose other arm is linked with Zoe’s. He whispers something to her, causing her to giggle into the crook of his neck.

“Bee?” Scotty waves a ringed hand in front of your dead stare, snapping you back to the conversation. “Burritos?”

“What? Oh, sure. I could go for a burrito.” 

“Me too!” Eddie calls, raising his free arm. The girls nod. Gareth is complaining about not being able to come. “It’s okay, bud. I’m sure your mother’s making her world famous chili tonight. We should be the jealous ones.”

That seems to satiate his sour mood a bit. He waves his goodbyes to everyone before sliding into the driver’s seat of his mom’s hatchback. The remaining seven of you split between two cars, Eddie taking Macy and her girls while you ride with Chris and Scotty. You climb into the back, letting Scotty take shotgun in Chris’s Corolla. “Bee,” Scotty pivots to face you from the front seat. “You like music, right?”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Are there people that don’t?”

He forces a chuckle, stirring your confusion further. “I mean, like, you’re into it. Right? Chris tells me you go to all the local shows, and you’re constantly planning trips to festivals and stuff.”

You turn your gaze from Scotty to your brother, squinting at him. “Chris suddenly likes to talk about me?”

“To be fair, I asked him a lot of these questions. I was uh, wondering if you’d wanna go to Emo Night Indy with me, this Saturday?”

Emo Nite. Casual, and rumor has it really fun for people like you. You grew up listening to Paramore and My Chemical Romance, dabbling in black box hair dye in middle school, collecting rubber bracelets of your favorite bands. “Oh, that sounds like fun! I’d love to go with you guys.” 

Scotty frowns at the plurality, and looks to Chris for help. You look, too, pretending not to know what’s going on. “Actually, Beebs, I have plans that night. Band practice, and I’m sure mom will call me into the bar to work.”

You shrug, playing along. “Cool with me, that okay with you, Scotty?”

The boy nods, suddenly shy. “Works for me!” He exclaims as Scotty pulls into the Tequilas parking lot beside Eddie’s rusted hunk of metal. 

“Well, hello again, friends… and Bee.” He grins at you, triggering another straining eye roll. “What have we missed in our short time apart?”

“Scotty asked Bee out!” Chris seems to respond too quickly, and you whip your head to glare at him. What you don’t quite catch is Eddie’s expression, his teasing smile and sparkling eyes seem to fade into a grimace, but you’re too busy silently scolding your brother to catch it. 

“Oh, really?” Eddie recovers, clearing his throat. “Where to?”

“Emo Nite, this weekend.” Scotty, completely oblivious to the different glares being shot around the group, answers gleefully. 

“Oh, in the city! The girls are performing at that, aren't cha, babe?” He shakes Macy’s shoulders, and she blushes. 

“Yeah, we go on at ten. Hope you guys like punk!” Any excitement you’d had for your date seems to crash like an elevator pulley snapping, sending your heartbeat plummeting into your stomach, making you sick. 

–

“Why’d you tell him?” You berate Chris as you open the door to your house, kicking your sneakers off without bothering to untie them. You turn around to face him, crossing your arms over your chest as if you’re your own mother, scolding him for eating cookies before dinner.

“Told who? Told him what? You’re gonna have to be more specific, Bee.” He passes by you, ignoring the way you seem to simmer with rage.

“Eddie! Why’d you have to tell him I’m going on a date?”

Chris makes an ‘I dunno” noise, shrugging as he plops himself on the couch. “Didn’t think it would bother you that much. Why does it bother you?”

It’s your turn to make a noise of uncertainty. “He doesn’t need the details of my personal life, Chris. He’s your friend, not mine.”

Chris scoffs, snagging the remote from the coffee table before you can. “Whatever, sounds like you’re the one that cares too much about what he knows.

“What does that even mean?”

Chris ignores you, flipping through streaming apps before landing on the usual, the ukulele of Bob’s Burgers a comfortable background noise. Your phone buzzes, and you peel your glare away from your sibling to read it.

Scotty A.: heyy =)

You type a “hi!” back, sending it without a second thought. This will be good, you think. A welcome distraction from the chaos that’s surrounded you for the past month. Your phone buzzes again. 

Excited for Saturday! Have a good night, beautiful.

– 

“Scotty? From band class?” Robin interrogates you over the counter. You’d sat on the news of your date all day, debating on whether or not to tell your friends before it actually happens. If it even does happen.You’ve been texting all day, though, so you decide to talk through your anxiety with your friends. 

“Yeah, him. Super senior Scotty.” It’s a nickname he’d introduced himself as, one he’d embraced after his second run at senior year. 

“Forgive me if this is rude, but, why?” Steve asks from where he stands, pretending to put records away.

“Carpe diem, I guess? Why not?” 

Steve secedes to your argument, motioning in agreement. “‘S’he cute, at least?”

“He’s not hard to look at.” The back of your neck is hot as you say it. Steve points to your cheeks teasingly, but brings no more attention to your bashful state. Robin looks back and forth between the two of you, irritated with being left out of the loop. “What about Eddie?”

Your playful banter with Steve dies in your throat, as if a trapdoor has opened and swallowed you whole. “Robin, what the hell?” Steve tries to sever the tension, but it's stifling. 

“What about Eddie?” You await her response as she darts her eyes between you, and Steve over your shoulder. “I- uh,” She’s floundering, you use it.

“Did he say something to you?” You push, you need leverage. “Rob, I can give you Nancy Wheeler’s phone number right now, I just need you to tell me what you’re talking about.”

“Robin,” Steve’s voice is a warning. He catches Robin’s eyes and holds her gaze, eyes unblinking, unwavering. She loses, looking shamefully to the dull tile of the store floor. “I’m sorry, Steve. I can’t lie to her!” She looks at you, eyes glassy, lip trembling. “I don’t know the whole story, but I was eavesdropping at the bar last night.”

–

Last Night (as told by Robin)

“Hey, I gotta pee!” Robin shouts in your ear, and you nod, taking her drink back to your side of the bar. Robin is careful not to wobble as she finds her way into the bathroom. Unfortunately, it’s not until she walks past the empty urinals and into a stall that she realizes she’s in the wrong restroom. Even more unfortunately, she doesn’t get to make an escape before two sets of footsteps enter the bathroom, placing themselves at the urinals that she would have to walk by to escape. Urinals that, for some reason, face a mirror. A mirror she would risk being seen by men, in the mens’ room. She’d never live that down. 

“So, you gotta girl, S-scott?” It’s Eddie, slurring his words after another night celebrating his mentor’s return. Robin, personally, thinks Eddie is Chris’s bitch. He has yet to prove her wrong.

“Nah, man,” The second voice, presumably Scott, responds. Behind their voices, Robin has to tune out the sounds of them pissing, while simultaneously trying to silence her own stream.

“You into anyone?” Eddie prods, and Robin can’t help wondering why men have to be drunk to talk about their crushes.

“I mean, I think Bee’s kinda cute…” The voice gets shy, but Eddie doesn’t take the hint.

“Chris’s little sister?”

Silence. Presumably, he’s nodding.

“Bet I could get you in with her.” 

“Really, man?” The voice is eager. Robin thinks it’s sweet. 

“Yeah, man. I got two tickets to Emo Nite Indy. I was gonna ask her to go, but Macy got me on her guestlist.” This confuses Robin supremely. You and Eddie don’t get along, why in the world would he invite you out on what is, very clearly, a date?

“Wait, I don’t like, want to whisk her away from you or anything.” The second, decidedly much nicer guy, questions him. Their streams have stopped, and Robin leans against the door to listen as they continue. 

“Oh don’t worry, I lost my shot with her a long time ago.” Eddie doesn’t elaborate, and Scott doesn’t pry. Robin is silently pleading he pries, but to no avail. The footsteps fade from earshot, and she’s once again alone in the mens’ room. 

–

Present

You’re stunned into silence. Not a single thought is making it from your brain to your throat, instead feeling air pass between your ears, fanning the electrical fire Rob’s story has caused. 

“Rob, you broke our friend.” Steve scolds, motioning to where you’re frozen, reeling, trying to make sense of the fantastical myth your best friend has spun for you. 

"You cannot be serious." You manage to speak, but you sound unconvinced even to yourself.

“Scout’s honor. I had a couple last night, but I remember it all. Here,” She pulls her phone from her pocket, punching in the code before handing it to you. The screen is opened to a Notes entry, and you try hard not to laugh. 

S: bee’s cute

E: can get u in (??? wtf)

E: emo nite (omg fun) / (WAIT WHAT?!) / (how long has he had these?) / (THEY WENT ON SALE SIX MONTHS AGO… BEFORE CHRIS HAD HIS RELEASE DATE?! IS THAT WHY HE CAME BACK?!?!?! dkfgdkngkd 

You can’t help but snicker as the note descends from quoting what she’s hearing to reacting to the words being said. “Okay, I get it! It just, doesn’t make any sense.”

“Maybe this is his way of apologizing.” Steve offers. “Y’know, setting you up with a nice guy, to make up for not being a nice guy.”

“So what, he grew a conscience? Only took him,” You pause to mime checking a watch you’re not wearing, “six years. Bullshit. He’s got more stake in this than that.”

“Bee, you have got to stop thinking Eddie’s out to ruin your life.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what to feel, Robin. I know what I know.”

“And how many times has Chris told you that what you ‘know’ isn’t the whole goddamn story? Grow up! Let it fucking go!” The silence following her shouts is deafening in the empty record store, save for you three. “Or, if you are so desperate to prove me wrong, do it. But don’t come crying to me when the information you find doesn’t support the narrative in your fucking head.” She storms into the back room of the store marked EMPLOYEES ONLY. “I’m taking my goddamn lunch!” She calls over her shoulder.

You huff out a breath, heart slamming against your ribcage as you pivot to face Steve. He holds his hands up, an old Paramore record in one hand, the same one playing over the speakers. “Don’t look at me, baby. I’m not part of that circus.”

You can’t help but laugh, and Steve joins you in thinning the tension slightly. Robin’s words replay in your head, causing the whispers of another spiral on your heels.

--

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality let me know if you'd like to be added!

[defrosted69]

Is it alright to fall in love with you?

(New Jeans Hanni fanfic)

****Since you guys liked Hanni so much, I made another one so here you go Yohohoho****

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They say that a beautiful flower will emerge from it's beautiful stem once it fulfilled its cycle. The sun will welcome the blossom and let it shine where everyone can see the beauty of the flower. Bees and butterfly will come by to say hello to greet the flower. Everything will slow down as their eyes will land to its beautiful structure. Even the rain will pay homage to its Beauty by helping it add aesthetic to the petals that shows eternal beauty. Photographers would be at awe and would make the surroundings a photoshoot.

All glory would be given to the flower but there are those who got stuck in the middle of the process and froze on what to do next. Some wither away unable to withstand the harsh punishment of mother nature as they fall to the ground slowly getting buried and forgotten as they are not there to witness the blooming of their fellow peers who transcended to become a beautiful flower.

Just like in life, many people doesn't bloom to their full potential and they stagnate on their own state not knowing what to do to take that next step. And sadly, you ended up like them.

You have to wonder, how did life turn out like this for you. Everything was so optimistic and bright for you growing up as you have the vision and passion to reach your dreams but slowly, they began to crumble down. All that sunshine was Just your delusion thinking you can take care of it when in reality, life hit you hard like a bullet train. It didn't stop and it continued to torment your life every hour, every minute, every second and every breath you take. Everything had fallen apart from you.

That smile you once had held and showed off to was gone. Infront of your mirror was a tired and empty face that showed no enthusiasm about anything. That fire you once had that you hoped to keep burning was washed in an instant. Rekindling that fire felt so pitiful for you but nothing, nothing ever made that fire back on.

Recalling it now, you couldn't even remember the last time that you genuinely felt happy. Your days felt like a repetitive cycle that just doesn't end and it felt exhausting. But weirdly enough, you feel like keeping that cycle on repeat is your comfort area, like there was no point for you to add something in that cycle because it will just ruin everything that was schedule for you. Society and your personality made it hard for you to make friends entering college.

Gone where the days when you were making cool and enjoyable memories down town wit your bikes. There was no more time for you to mess around and have fun as the sunsets peak through the valley's. The word fun didn't exist anymore on your vocabulary and was replaced with work and money.

Your friends from high school was slowly becoming the person they dreamed off enjoying the labor of their hardship while for you? What's there to enjoy? You were working on a 7 to 8 hour work hour and sometime even have to go to overtime with less pay than what they promised. It was tiring.

So tiring.

You opened your apartment room and you were greeted by the familiar small space that you have been accustomed to. Today was the worst day for you. Job really felt like shit and your girlfriend just dumped you like it was nothing. The 4 years of loving each other, giving everything to her was all drained down the pipe for nothing. You gave all her what you can but it seems it wasn't enough.

You gave her chocolates, yet someone gave her 5 different boxes of imported sweets.

You gave her flowers, yet someone rented a whole flower shop for her on her birthday.

You skipped your days just to attend her needs, yet someone gave her what every person wanted.

You gave her a teddy bear, yet someone gifted her a whole toy store.

You spend a lot for her than yourself, yet someone offered the same but didn't even lost any penny.

You gave her your world, yet someone gifted her the universe.

You laid on your bed thinking of what you did to have this kind of life. Everything was just turning into shit day by day and nothing postive was coming out of your efforts to be better. It has come to the point that you found yourself thinking about going back to where you were truly happy.

"I just want to he happy!! What do I have to do to get my happiness back! What more can I do?!"

You thought to yourself as the alcohol has finally started to kick in your system. Your vision was turning blurry as the ceiling began dancing in perspective. The world was suddenly spinning around you yet you didn't have the energy to move up. You endure the dizziness and eventually the alcohol calmed down and so was your body.

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KNOCK

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KNOCK

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KNOCK

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"Anybody home?"

You woke up upon an unfamiliar voice. The sun was already peaking out of your room as your curtains danced slowly with the soft passing breeze that passed by. You yawned a little and stretched your arms out waking your whole body up. Your legs felt weak at the moment yet you were able to reel yourself to open the door as the sun's light blinded you for a few seconds.

"Who is it? Hmm?"

You blinked a couple times after your vision was finally back. You couldn't see anyone infront of you but your brain clarified you that there was indeed someone who called out to you-

"I'm down here Mister."

An irritated voice called out to you as you lowered your view and there you saw a highschool kid glaring at you. She looked at you as if you made the biggest crime known to mankind but you blinked a couple of times making sure you're awake.

"You're not a ghoul are you? Am I dead?"

This wasn't kindly received as the girl glared at you even more and harshly handed you a pot. You were caught off guard by her harsh action but you manage to catch the pot on your chest with your hands. The girl then began stomping her small feet away from you and mumbling the words

"Rude Ahjussi....."

You were left stunned not knowing what to do or say as you looked at the pot and there was a note attached to its cover.

"We're your new neighbors. And we made some Kinchi stew for you as our gift for you. Please treat us well"

You were honestly confused by their action because there was no way that people still do stuff like this especially in this new era of society. But if someone with a kind heart was offering you a gift then who are you to decline right?

Your day started off rather well with a free breakfast and you can even call it a hangover dish which helped you a lot since you were so DRUNK last night. You somehow ended up finishing the pot of food unconsciously because you were just taking and taking that you realized that the food was delicious. It somehow reminded you off home in sense but nonetheless, you had to return the favor for giving you such delicious food for breakfast.

You washed their pot and checked your wallet if you were still financially okay or on the brink of loaning. Luckily for you, you have enough money to pay the neighbors kindness but your mood suddenly took a dip seeing the picture of you and your girlfriend, or well, in this case, your Ex-girlfriend. You sighed and closed your wallet as you prepared yourself to buy some ingredients.

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"Yow Pham Hanni, why do you look like your pissed or something?"

"Don't start with me Minji."

Hanni snarled at her best friend who raised her hands up in surrender. Kim Minji has been best friends with Hanni since elementary and up until now. The two shared a lot of things together, spend time together and even sleep at each other's home sometimes.

"Chill, you're the one who needs to apologize to me remember? You almost broke my heart thinking your going far away."

Hanni's stoic expression suddenly cracked as she began to smile slowly and show an amused expression.

"Heh, Did I broke your poor heart Minji?"

"Of course Dummy. I was Almost about to cry my heart out the day you moved but here you are. Still in this city."

Hanni finally let her happiness get to her as she laughed whole heartedly making Minji chuckle at her. Hanni's Father was a contract engineer and sometimes, he has to move from one place to another making it for her family to stay at an original place sometimes. But this time, Her father finally was able to land a permanent spot in this city but unfortunately, they could only afford an apartment for now as their finance was still a little shambles after moving from places to places.

Though it was kinda sad for Hanni, it was more sadder for Minji because her heart would litterally crack open everytime Hanni would move away. This has been the 4th time since the Pham's move to a new home and Minji still can't take losing her best friend again.

"Haha, My bad Minji. But I promise you, this time I'm staying here."

"Promise me?"

Minji hugged her which made Hanni sigh but she found it disgusting how Minji gave her the puppy eyes. This was one of the 3 things Hanni didn't like about Minji. First is that she's quite lazy, second is that she's so soft and pure that sometimes, her kindness would lead to misunderstandings, and lastly is her puppy eyes. She just find it so disgusting and annoying.

"Yah, your an 18 year old girl yet your doing this puppy eyes? Ewww. Stop it Minji."

"Promise me? ~~~"

Minji didn't listen and just blinked more showing off her puppy eyes. At this point, Hanni wanted to puke her breakfast out but she just groaned and nodded her head. Minji smiled happily and hugged her even more tightly.

"Can't... Breath... You... Monster strength...."

"Opps, My bad hehehe~"

Minji chuckled as she let Hanni go making the small girl breath heavily.

"Why the fuck are you so strong?"

"I don't know?"

"Whatever"

"Anyway, Why did you looked annoyed earlier?"

Hanni sighed as she recalled the events from earlier. They just successfully moved last night and Hanni really wanted to skip classes today because not only she can rest, but she can finally see her childhood crush next to their house.

Yes, that's right. Hanni's childhood crush is you, your pathetic ass.

She was so excited seeing you last night enter your room but she also felt worried seeing you all wobbly and tired walking to your room. This kinda made her sad because time wasn't really that gentle with you. But then again, that was kinda true. So that night, she formulated a plan to finally see you face to face and it just so happen that her mother made the kimchi soup for you. Hearing about it, she immediately volunteered to give you the pot. Honestly, she was very nervous as every step she took towards your room made her heart race so fast.

She was afraid that she might slip up seeing you face to face but when she finally was infront of your door. She knocked 3 times and waited for you patiently. When the door opened, she finally saw you. She was a bit surprised seeing you so tall than what she last remembered but the thing that pissed her off was that, You were busy looking for her when she was standing infront of you. Hanni has a little ego when it comes to her height and this made her glare at you.

Without even thinking, she harshly gave you the pot and stared to walk away stomping her way out as her face show a bright red color. She was fuming with both embarrassment and anger not towards you but herself.

"FUXKK!! Why did I get pissed when he didn't look down on me!! Gosh, me and my temper! Arghh!"

She mumbled some words out of her frustration but she immediately covered her mouth hoping you didn't hear her and that's how her morning ended with you.

"So that's it huh? How old is he anyway?"

Minji asked Hanni as she wasn't really sure of what your age really was.

"Uhhhh, I first met her when I was 8 so it's been 10 years. He used to have a middle schooler uniform back then so maybe around 23 of 22? I'm not sure."

"Uhuh, So you like older guys huh?"

Minji smirked at her as she tried to make embarrassed but this only made Hanni giggle in delight and sway her body to the side. Minji was caught off guard by this as she didn't expect her best friend to be so deeply in love with someone older than their age.

"Woah Hanni, hide your blush girl. You're litterally telling me that you like older guys."

"I don't like older guys geez. I just like him Hehehehe~"

Hanni once again giggled like a madman in love and Minji could only chuckle. She was already aware of Hanni's first love but she didn't expect that her first love still stayed with her till now. She has to commend her best friend for her loyalty and perseverance to not let that love die.

"Is this why you rejected a lot of guys like even the popular ones like Sunoo, Sunghoon Oppa, and even Jay Oppa?"

"Yup, there nothing compared to Y/N Oppa. Heheheh~"

"Eh? What if he has a girlfriend?"

Hanni's smile dropped after realizing what her best friend said. She completely forgot about that possibility. 10 years of waiting and something like that wasn't out of the picture at all. Hanni sighed and pouted her lips indicating that she was now sad.

"Well if so, then I'll just be fine being friends with him then. I'm okay with just that."

Minji felt sad for her. She finally realized how much Hanni likes you to the point that she would throw away her happiness for yours. This somehow made her feel pity for her friend as a idea popped into her head.

"Hey, Listen to me Hanni."

"Hmm?"

"From here on out, I'll support you with your love journey with him."

Hanni smiled softly at her. It was nice for her to hear that Minji would support her whatever her decision maybe.

"Thank Minji. That means a lot."

"Heheh of course. That's what are best friends are for. Just don't turn into a Yandere though...."

"You bitch. We both know someone fits that category than us."

Minji chuckled and nodded her head.

"True, true. Well anyway, lunch is ending soon. Shall we walk Honey~"

"Shut up Minji. And yes, let's go back to class."

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School finally ended and Hanni was glad that the teachers didn't give them any homework to do cause she was tired asf. She didn't want to study anymore and her first aim to do was to go to her room and sleep. The sun was setting already when she arrived at their apartment building and the memories of earlier made her cringe. She had hoped that the events earlier was nothing but a nightmare.

"Stupid Hanni, what were you even thinking doing that."

She sighed as she opened the door to her house.

"I'm home~"

Hanni said as she removed her shoes and placed them on the shoerack near their door. She heard laughter coming from the kitchen as this made her curious.

"Did Mom brought over her friends?"

It wasn't unusual for her Mother to bring over some of her friends at their place as Hanni has grown accustomed to it. Sometimes she would think of it as a norm especially when her mother introduces her to some of her Mother friends son who's the same age as her. Honestly speaking, she didn't care about any of the guys that was being introduced to her as she was set on you and nobody else.

She got closer and there her breath hitched. Her hearth began to beat faster and her whole body froze. She gripped the hem of her skirt as a warm and hot temperature arose through her cheeks. You stood there smiling and laughing along with her mother as you converse about her.

You wanted to repay the delicious favor they did for you earlier so you went out and brought out ingredients needed for the dishes you prepared. It wasn't grande kind of dishes as you didn't have much on you but like the saying goes "Kindness isn't paid but rather showed".

A simple tteokboki dish that goes with some kimbap that your mother used to make for you when you were in Highschool. Her ways of making the food still lingered on your memory and it has become a comfort food for you whenever you feel down. It's just your laziness kicking in everytime you thought making the dish. But this time, that laziness was gone as you tried your best to make the best Gimbap there is inorder to repay the kindness they gave you.

You were quiet anxious in all honestly because this was your first time entering a place which isn't your home or your work place. But that was immediately washed away when the woman happily helped you carry the food as you thanked her for the dish earlier. The woman just shrugged it off as she introduced herself as Mrs. Pham. She wasn't korean but she was very fluent in speaking the language. You also began to help her out in the kitchen as she told you stories about her daughter.

Just by hearing the stories that she was saying, it sounded like her daughter was very smart and outgoing person. Then a sudden realization hit you in the face. The girl from earlier must have been her daughter but remembering what happened earlier, you began to question yourself why she was mad at you in the first place.

"Ah, Hanni sweety, you're home. Meet Mr. Y/N Lee. He's the neighbor you gave the soup to earlier."

You looked behind you and you saw the girl from earlier but this time, instead of glaring at you, she seems to be in a state of shock and suprise. Both of you locked at each other's eyes as Hanni's thoughts were in shambles.

"Oh my gosh oh my goshohmygoshohmygosh!"

She didn't know what to do as You gave her a small smile and a simple wave as you felt embarrassed after the incident from earlier. You were in dire need to apologize to her because of some misunderstandings. Her parents seems really cool to be with and they also seem to be very wise as well.

"Hanni, Prepare the plates already and stop standing here."

Her mother's voice snapped her back to reality as she looked down embarrassed walking past you in a hurry. You were slightly suprised by her speed but you just thought that she must still have hated for earlier. You just let it bypass your thought and decides to leave the household because you already did what you originally want to do. But then, her father saw you slowly walking away and said

"Where you going young man?"

Even though you weren't looking at them, you felt pairs of eyes staring at your back with intensity which somehow made you nervous. You gulped silently and turned your back smiling at them awkwardly.

"Oh I uhh.. I'm going home now Sir. I just want to give back the food from earlier. Thank you by the way-"

"Hiyaaah, come and eat with us. Come on."

Mrs. Pham said as she brightly smiled at you. Her hand signalled you to come and eat with them but you just bowed and shook your head. The atmosphere around the household was something that you missed dearly on your own. The sense of family that you longed ago forgotten was slowly coming back at you because of them. It was quite joyful but at the same time sad for you.

"Come and eat with us Oppa, you deserve a little break"

Hearing the words of Hanni made you stiffen as you looked at her. The glare she gave you earlier was now gone and was replaced with a soft expression that you couldn't believe she was able to do. For some odd reason, her expression and words struck a chord in your heart as you held your emotion in tact. You didn't want to embarras yourself against them after all because you know they were good people.

"If Hanni says it’s okay then you should stay Y/N."

Her father said finally making you concede to their decision for you to stay. You walked back towards the kitchen and offered a seat for Hanni, you were after all a guest and it's the owners rights to sit first and you be the last. But for Hanni, her heart was ready to explode by your gesture. Sure, some may say that it's just an etiquette to show but for Hanni, this was something she will forever embed in her memory.

"Take a seat Hanni"

"T-Thank you O-Oppa..."

"No problem."

Dinner proceeded like normal as if you were part of their Family. It was weird because that old feeling of belonging came crashing down on you and you felt your emotion slowly cracking open. You held to your chopstick tightly and gripped it tight holding yourself in. But Mrs. Pham noticed this as she felt pity towards you. What she was seeing in you was not an adult man but rather, a tired and worn out soldier who's been keeping himself strong for a long time now.

"Y/N-ssi.."

"Y-Yes?"

"It's okay. It's okay."

Her warm and comforting words was the final nail to your coffin as you bit your lips as they quivered slowly. Tears began to slowly fall out of your eyes and Hanni felt so devastated seeing you crying.

"Oppa..."

"N-No, It's okay.. I-I'm fine... I'm fine really.."

Your words didn't match your action as tears was falling from your eyes as you try your best to hide them but to no vail. Everything about the household just broke you because seeing how they were all connected made you remember the past you used to have. The happiest moment you used to have before was gone and it was painful because you didn't ask anyone to remove that happiness from you. It was taken from you and seeing the Pham family act like how you used to, made you miss the old times. You covered your eyes preventing you to lose more tears but then suddenly, Mr. Pham stood up and patted your back.

"It's all right Kiddo, let it all out."

Their kindness towards you, a complete stranger was really getting you to break down your walls that you built so much. The protection towards not showing weakness was taken down immediately. Ironically, kindness was the reason it was taken down.

Hanni clenched her fist in sadness and worry because she didn't expect you to cry your heart out. The silent sniffles was all she needed to know that you went through a lot of hardship, alone.

"Oppa...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Hanni blames herself for being not there whenever you needed help. This was preety obvious that you were fighting your own problems alone and as great as it sounds, it wasn't a healthy way of dealing a problem. This only gave Hanni more reason to be by your side. At this point, she wasn't even thinking to be your wife, just a friend is enough for her as for the moment.

You have expected that Dinner would be awkward after your embarrassing breakdown but no, it didn't. It become more livelier than earlier as her parents told you amazing stories about their life, their struggles, and many more. Her father has told you many inspiring words that you surely will live out. You were slowly admiring Hanni's father because of her wisdom and his wife for her comforting words. You felt like you were home again with them and that brought a small smile upon your face. You offered your services to wash the dishes but Mrs. Pham decline the offer and told you to rest up. You tried to push for your agenda but in the end, Mrs. Pham won.

You thanked them and apologized for the nuisance you cause but they just brushed it off and even told you that you were welcome in their home anytime. You weren't gonna lie, you actually had a great time there and it was one of the few positive moments you have so far since being an adult. Hanni was the one who had to walk you towards your room even though it was less than a minute walk but you didn't complain.

"Listen Hanni. About earlier, I'm sorr-"

"I should be the one apologizing Oppa. I was too insensitive towards you. Please forgive me"

Hanni bowed to you with her entire back bend forward as you were surprised by her action. You actually didn't mind her actions earlier because you felt like you were the one who caused it anyway.

"N-No, it's okay Hanni. I should be the one apologizing to you because I was the one who's insensitive towards you. I didn't know you were small.."

Hanni bit her lip controlling her rage because she hates it being called small.

"But you're cute. I-I mean you being small adds to your cute factor. Gosh what am I saying to a teenager? I'm so out of touch from reality."

You groaned and gave yourself a self palm to the head as the words that came out of your mouth was something inappropriate especially since Hanni was still a teenager and your a grown ass man. Saying stuff like that in the open would immediately send you to jail and your life will forever be fucked. But Hanni was the opposite, she loved every word that you said and her face right now was Red as a tomato. She took in deep breaths in order to calm herself down before fixing her posture and looking at you.

"Well I don't mind you calling me Cute Oppa cause that's true anyway."

That sentence made you chuckle at her and shook your head.

"Yah, you shouldn't be too proud of yourself. That can bite you in the ass."

"Hmph. Nope."

Hanni smiled brightly as you just chuckled at her. Even though you two were now talking comfortably, you still somehow feel bad for her with the incident earlier.

"Listen Hanni, is there anything you want? I kinda still feel bad for earlier. Let me make up for it."

"Please be my boyfriend...”

She wanted to say those words out loud but she still has a lot of things to do and this was a great baby steps for her in order to achieve that goal.

"Hmmm well, there's a movie I really want to watch so.... Maybe we can go watch it together in the weekends Oppa?"

This was her shot, well probably her best shot of her life and she just laid it out. In her defense, this was the best opportunity to have and she might not even get another chance like this again.

"Weekends huh? Sure, I can make time in Saturday."

Hanni wanted to die from happiness. One of her dreams on going on a date with you was finally happening as she she flashed you the best smile she ever has. You on the other hand found it adorable how Hanni smiled sweetly at you.

"Alright, here's my number Oppa. Contact me when your free. Hehehe~"

"Ah right, here's mine too."

Hanni gave you her number which you saved in your contacts as Hanni did the same.

"Well, see you around Oppa. Goodnight and also, Thanks for the food, they were delicious."

Hanni gave you a thumbs up as you just chuckled and shrugged your shoulders. The moonlight was quite bright tonight as the full moon showed itself in the black sky. You waved her goodbye as she walked away smiling and happily waving at you. You entered your room and you immediately noticed the atmosphere between Hanni's house and yours.

"They are such a sweet family. I wished my family stayed together like them..."

You could only sigh at that false wish as you did your nightly routine and headed to bed.

Hanni meanwhile was smiling ear to ear and dancing in her room listening to New Jeans as her day was complete. She finally got her ultimate crush number, converse with him, and finally set a date between the two of you. Hanni's luck was truly kind towards her today and she couldn't be more thankful towards the man above.

"Thank you God for today. Please, please let me be his Woman. If not then at least let me be his shoulder to cry on."

Although everything was going great for her, she still couldn't help but feel sad for you after all.

"Y/N went through a lot in the span of 10 years huh. He really deserves a happy life ahead of him. Hmm... What should I do to make that possible..."

Through out the night, Hanni thought off many possible ways to make your smile appear once again, and this time, a smile that wasn't sad or broken but rather, a smile that showed true happiness.

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The days for Hanni was slow and she hated how time was moving so slow as if it was preventing her to get what she wanted. She has been restless lately thinking on what she would wear, how she would act, and how she should attract you. But even though she was quiet anxious and annoyed of the slow days, she was quiet glad of taking your number because the two of you have been in touch lately.

You find it very surprising that talking with Hanni on the phone was actually quite enjoyable and fun to be. You enjoyed listening to her afternoon rant and late night conspiracies because you found it amusing that someone like her is already running wild in imagination. It was something you lost before and it's probably the reason why your life has been dull. The lack of imagination and inspiration to create such imagination was long gone. There was no way for you to recreate those crazy and creative imagination of yours but hearing Hanni's crazy imagination, well you couldn't help but smile at that.

Hanni was what you were before, an energetic, creative, and adrenaline pump person. People like that are very rare to find nowadays and growing up, you lost your old self in order to adapt to society and act like the adult because you are now THE adult. Finding time to be foolish was already off your calendar as there was no time for that, everything needs to be serious in order to accomplish something.

Even though Hanni didn't like hearing advices, There was an exception towards you. Hanni would sometimes spill some days where she hated it and you would come up and tell her some advices and things she would work out on. Of course, she didn't like it at first but realizing that you went through tough times, this was the best way for her to at least Change some of her bad habits that she has grown out off. Although it was good for you that you were advising Hanni, she didn't like it completely because she felt like she was being treated like a kid by you.

She wishes that this kind of advices wouldn't just let you see her as a kid but she hoped that it would get past that. This is one of her fears especially when it comes to liking you now. You were the adult between each other so it was only natural for you to act like one but can you look past Hanni as a kid? That question was one thing that made Hanni anxious of what she will do next.

Nonetheless her questions would be answered on their Movie date.

Hanni woke up earlier than usual as her heart was pumping so fast. This was the day she finally can get on a date with you which she could only dream off. She had already prepared the clothes she was gonna wear for this day last night as she made sure that her outfit would literally captivate you. She had asked Minji about her opinion on what she would wear and the chaotic pair would end up emptying the closet of Hanni leaving her room a total mess. As if a tornado was able to enter her room, Minji was able to find the best outfit for her despite the carnage around her room.

Minji might be the best stylist Hanni has ever met in her life because Minji is that type of girl who can lead a new trend. The powers she holds if she was casted on a photoshoot, Hanni would bet that Minji would change the game in the fashion industry.

Hanni took a double shower and made sure the shampoo she was using would create a beautiful scent if passed by. She usually stay at the shower room for half an hour but today, she made sure nothing would be flaw in her body as she took longer than usual. Her father could raise his eyebrows because he would be in for a suprise seeing the water bill slightly increase.

You on the other hand was eating your ramen as you forgot to buy ingredients once again because of the tiring workload you did this week. As if last week wasn't hellish enough, this week was doubled than the last. Everyone was working overtime because they couldn't afford leaving their work in overdue. Everyone wanted a break so they all decided to do overtime which in turn causes them to lack sleep and proper rest. You were part of the suffering as you didn't even had a proper meal the entire week.

Instant food was your go to lunch, dinner and breakfast which wasn't very healthy to begin with. Even though the days were tiring, seeing the messages of Hanni every night was enough to leave a small smile on his face. Hanni was slowly becoming your happy pill because her energy is just so contagious that you couldn't help but feel a smile forming on your face every time you would see her in the apartment hallways or in her messages.

Today was the day to somehow thank her for being a reason that brings a smile on your face. You took a quick shower and checked some clothes for you in your closet. You wanted to slap yourself from embarrassment as all of your clothes were all too formal and a quick realization hit you.

"I guess I didn't even have time to buy clothes for myself huh.."

You sighed as you decided to wear your white polo and your usual formal pants. You decided to remove the suit jacket in order to look less formal because today was your off day. You hoped that Hanni wouldn't mind your attire at all considering you look like your usual uniform. Nonetheless, you got out of your apartment earlier than the supposed meet up because you didn't want to show up late.

You messaged Hanni saying your outside her apartment when a few seconds later, Hanni came out looking very preety. Your eyes landed front upon her beauty as you were star struck by her visuals. This was your first time seeing Hanni without her uniform and you immediately saw the difference between her Uniform attire and casual clothes. She wore a simple white shirt and light brown jacket that goes along well with her brown baggy pants.

You chuckled seeing how adorable she looked with her pants while Hanni blushed and pouted seeing and hearing you chuckle.

"Yah, What's so funny Oppa?"

"Ah no it's nothing."

"Nothing? You liar. You're laughing at my outfit huh?"

"No, no of course not. You actually look adorable with your attire."

Well that was enough to make Hanni flustered. She froze in place for a couple of seconds as the words that came out of your mouth replayed over and over her thoughts.

"So, what movie do you wanna watch Hanni?"

"H-Huh? Oh umm.. Let's just go to the cinema and see if it's still there."

"Sure. Let's go."

The two of you walked away from the apartment building as Hanni began to converse about you about her school life. It took you by suprise when you heard her say that she's actually quite smart. You decided to tease her making her whine at you and pout cutely which you didn't mind at all. But unknown to you, Hanni actually loved it and was blushing slowly. Through out the walk, Hanni couldn't help but glance at you whenever she has the chance too. Your simple formal attire just makes her heart weak and makes her heart flutter.

Upon arriving at the Cinema, you were suprised by how many people were there and your attention immediately landed on Hanni. Your instinct kicked in as you held her hand which made Hanni blush furiously. The way your hand made contact with hers made her loose her common sense as she stares at her hand holding yours.

"Hold on me tight Hanni, you might get lost."

Hanni didn't hear you as you pushed through the wave of people gently shielding Hanni from the tight crowd. It was quite a Challange but you managed to arrive at the ticket booth with no problem as Hanni was still ecstatic with her hand holding yours.

"What Movie are we watching Hanni?"

"I luv yu..."

"Hmm? I don't think there's a movie called like that though."

You looked over at the category of the words that Hanni said but for the girl, she was blushing madly because of embarrassment. Her mind just suddenly process her initial thought and it came out of her mouth. She was glad that you were slow to realize it or even better, you didn't realize it at all. Which in turn, saddened Hanni partially but she brushed that thought off anf held your hand even tighter as she pointed at the movie she wanted.

"I want to watch that Oppa."

"Hmm? John Wick?"

"Yup."

"It's rated SPG and I don't think your height is.."

"Do you wanna die Oppa?"

Hanni looked at you with a deadpan expression which you couldn't help but laugh a little and press her cheeks. Both of you widen your eyes after the action that you just did. Hanni blushed as she eyed you while you slowly pulled away your hand from her cheeks.

"Why... Why is my heart racing? God no.."

A slight blush appeared on your face as you eyed Hanni who was staring at you with a shock yet calm expression. You didn't even think of doing the act as you just instinctively touched her cheeks like it was the most natural thing to do. You gulped hard and looked away.

"Sorry Hanni..."

You were now completely ashamed of yourself. Once again, you fucked up a great friendship because of your usual self. For sure right now that Hanni hated you-

"I... Kinda like it Oppa.."

You quickly look back and saw Hanni smiling at you with the most brightest smile you have ever seen in your life. Hearing the assurance out of her voice and that sweet smile somewhat calmed your nerves down. Something about this girl was making you intrigue of your own self.

You bought two tickets for the movie and when you thought Hanni wouldn't supriseyou anymore, she surprised you again when she was so emerced on the movie even cursing out the bad guys. You couldn't help but laugh at her. This kind of behavior was once you had but had dissappeared so seeing Hanni act like you used to was a sight to see. But the thing that suprised you the most is that, this kind of behavior was what you hate the most especially when watching movies but for some odd reason. Seeing Hanni act like that somehow made you appriciate people like that.

"The movie was great! Isn't it Oppa? John wick is really badass! He went Woosh and then he picked up his gun and went Bang Bang to those losers."

Hanni was hyped up after seeing the movie as she mimicked the character on the movie and even did some impressions of him. You simply smiled at her cute antics as the two of you were walking at the mall hoping to find a restaurant to eat and luckily for you, your favorite restaurant was opened as you and Hanni took a seat and ordered your food.

"Say Oppa, what kind work do you do? A teacher?"

You chuckled and shook your head. Hanni had been so far the only person that has put a smile on your face. Your life has been boring yet in just a span of a week, Hanni has turned that frown into a smile that can't seem to be erased. Her presence alone made you smile unconsciously.

"No, I work at an office Hanni. You know the typical guy who works on his computer all day. Boring isn't?"

"Nope, that's sounds fun actually. Did you try folding a paper and making it into a paper plane? It's fun seeing them fly in the office. Or better yet, did you shoot a crumple paper on the trash bin and shot it saying Kobeee like that?"

Her eyes was sparkling upon saying her ideas and you couldn't even talk. It sounded like basic ideas yet when Hanni says it, it sounded like it was legit fun.

"Well, I didn't do any of that..."

"Well now you can try.. Hold on, I think I have an idea."

Hanni grabbed the tissues on the table and began to fold them in a particular manner as you sighed and saw the paper plane or tissue plane if you would call it.

"Alright Oppa, See the trash bin there?"

"Yeah."

"If I shoot this and it landed on that thing. You need to double my order. Deal?"

"What? Why would I-"

"Hmm? Is Y/N-Oppa scared? Hmm??"

Hanni taunted you giving you a smug look which you just playfully scoffed and shook your head.

"Go ahead. Try it."

"Heh, Don't underestimate me. For my name is Pham Hanni, Watch."

Hanni closed her left eye as she focus her sight on the trash bin. Her face looked so focused and her hands felt relaxed. She was confident on herself and it was preety obvious for you that Hanni was a skilled person. You gulped silently as your wallet couldn't afford another order of the foods here. With a deep breath, her hand moved forwards as the tissue plane went floating in the air twirling in some degree. The plane was getting closer to the target and this made you nervous. Sweat began to form on your forehead as your heart began to beat louder.

But at the last minute, the plane instead entered the Restaurant kitchen making Hanni bit her lips in embarrassment and you slowly looking at her. When Hanni met your eyes, both erupted in laughter making everyone in the rest a look at you weirdly. You apologized for the sudden outburst but Hanni didn't, she didn't care about there stares unless it was a woman staring at you lovingly then it's a different story.

"See? It's fun isn't it Oppa?"

"Yeah, I guess your right."

Hanni, a highschooler was able to make a simple thing fun without doing anything extra at all. Her creative imagination gave life to such simple thing and you were already captivated by it.

Lunch was fun once again with the help of Hanni and this was one of the few times where you enjoyed lunch with a companion. You were used to having lunch alone at the company building that it has grown accustomed to you that eating alone was normal but Hanni, showed you that having someone to eat with is more fun. The sun was already setting and Hanni decided to head into the park to relax her feet.

"Ahh, Did you know Oppa that this place is my comfort zone?"

"Well I just know now."

"Whenever I feel down or really tired, I go here and unwind my mind because it just relaxes me."

"I see..."

A place where you can fully unwind and remove all the thoughts away and just relax. That was one place you hoped to find soon but as of the moment there was no place close to something like that.

"Do you have a comfort zone Oppa?"

You shook your head at her question but at the same time this question struck you. You have never thought this question before because your comfort zone has always been your home but that disappeared. Home wasn't longer a comfort zone but rather a toxic environment now. It was suffocating you whenever you thought of how much it changed for the worst.

"Honesty speaking Hanni, my comfort zone before turned to a toxic one."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

Hanni felt ashamed for saying such question as she scolded herself but you could only shook your head.

"It's alright. The reason I teared up on your home was because I was reminded of how my life before was before all shit went down.."

You sighed as Hanni saw the distress on your face. Today has been a blast lately and seeing how you looked sadden by the past made her feel sad a little too. Today isn't just for her to have fun as well, this was also your day to relax so she immediately came up with an Idea. A simple yet effective way to get that heavy feeling off your chest. She was hesitant to grab your hand again but she slapped herself on her thoughts because you needed her right now.

"Man up... Err I mean Go grab her hand Hanni! This is your chance!"

She told herself as she took a deep breath and gently grabbed your hand surprising you in the process. There was a visble blush on her face as she drags you to a nearby bench. You just let her be as you noticed how small her hands are compared to yours.

"Cute... Wait. What am I saying? She's literally a kid! I need to touch grass..."

Both sat down and infront of them was the park fountain and they stayed quiet for a few seconds observing their sorroundings. Hanni didn't let her hand go as she only made it tighter.

"You know Oppa, sometimes you just need to let those go of your chest and talk to someone about it. I'm all ears and I won't judge you at all. Like what Mom said to me, she saw you being so strong for so long that she pitied you when you broke down crying."

You softly chuckled as this was an embarrassment for you.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I kinda feel bad though when I saw you crying. It...kinda made me sad seeing you cry."

You saw the sincerity on her eyes and you can tell that Hanni really cared for you. Even though it was just a few days ago that you two met, it felt like Hanni knew you for a long time now.

"Heh, well my family life was like yours. All smiles and laughter. I though that it would last like that until I grow old but it didn't. Dad was caught having an affair with another woman and they filed for divorce. Dad moved out along with his stuff and you thought it wouldn't get worse but it did...."

Hanni noticed how your hands began to quiver and your eyes began to look broken and empty. Hanni couldn't bear seeing you in such state but she has to keep herself under control or she might do something she could regret.

"Mom was diagnosed with brain tumor that she kept from us, from me ever since I was young and I had to take part time Jobs for moms recovery but guess what? She died on the day of my graduation and instead of me celebrating my degree, I cried alone and mourned my mother's death. Ever since then, the word comfort zone became nothing for me as shit just keeps getting worse for me since then. Heh, I'm pathetic aren't I? I live the worst life of them all but it is what it is. "

Hanni hated how you smiled after saying those words. She hated how you were saying to yourself that everything was okay when it's not. She hates that you have been lying to yourself to show how strong you are but in reality, your weak. She hates that you have been so much and nobody was there for you.

"Hanni, listen we should-"

She shut you up when she pulled you closer to her and hugged you tightly. She could hear your heartbeat which seems to relax her but the thing that surprised you, was how much you felt at ease with Hanni being this close to you. That warm and comforting embrace that you longed to have was now presented to you. You couldn't help but feel a little emotional with how Hanni hugs you.

"Oppa, everything will be okay from now on. You don't have to carry everything on your own. I'm here with you now."

You bit your lips not wanting to cry but Hanni's embrace was just too much for you. You ended up sobbing quietly with Hanni comforting you by your side.

Your date was finally over as both of you were now walking the hallways of your apartment. You stopped at her front door as Hanni smiled happily at you.

"I had fun with you today Oppa, I hope you did too."

"Honestly speaking Hanni, I did. It's been so long since I last had fun like this."

This sentence made Hanni giggle in delight as she achieved what she needed to achieve this day.

"So shall we go on a date again Oppa?"

You chuckled at her wording but nodded your head nonetheless.

"I wouldn't call it date Hanni, but sure. I don't mind going out with you again."

Hanni jumped in delight as she hugged you tightly again. You were surprised at first but patted her head in response. You didn't know that Hanni was such a clingy person after all but that only adds to her charms. Hanni was about to pull away when a wild idea came to her mind. A small smile appeared on her face when she looked up to you. You weren't gonna lie, seeing her look up to you was adorable and it slightly made you blush.

"Oppa, do you pack your lunch?"

"Ummm no, I usually eat at the cafeteria."

"Eww the cafeteria. No, that's disgusting."

"What do you mea-"

Hanni placed a finger on your mouth shutting you up as she smiled at you.

"From here on out, I'll make you lunch boxes so that you don't have to eat in that filthy piece of shit cafeteria. Bleh!"

You wanted to refuse but Hanni was quicker than you as she pulled away and said goodnight before entering her house. You were just stunned by how Hanni dictate her decisions towards you as you just chuckled and shook your head in amusement. Hanni was the first girl you met that was actually fun to be with.

"I'm sure she would eventually forget about the lunch box thing."

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Like the famous quote "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me" says, Hanni did in fact kept her word and gave you lunch boxes everyday to work. Initially you wanted to refuse her offer but seeing the band-aids around her hand on that day, it made you realize that Hanni was very genuine in making you a lunch box. Of course this would worry you and checking her hand if it was okay and all that but Hanni would just blush and nod her head. She was quite the stubborn yet smart girl because she would ask you out for another hangout.

Even though Hanni insist it was a date, you keep the word Hang out to not mistaken their relationship. After all, You were a 22 year old adult and Hanni is an 18 year old high schooler. Society would immediately hound you to death knowing your dating a minor. Your so called Hang out ranges from Cinema dates, Dinner date, amusement park date, or sometimes, staying at your place blasting music and dancing together. But the more Hanni do this kind of stuff to you, the more you see Hanni in a different light.

The way she worries about you when you go to overtime, the way she messages you everytime you arrive home, the way she would invite herself to your apartment room when there's nothing to do, the way she took care of you when you got sick, and more importantly, the way she argued back with your boss when you were clearly unable to work. That memory will forever be stuck with you because instead of getting fired, you were instead given more time of rest as your effort at your job boar fruit. Hanni was extremely ashamed for herself that day but you instead hugged her and twirled her around thanking her.

That was the day Hanni finally saw the old handsome smile she fell in love with in the first place.

Everything she does towards you was bringing you that joy and fun that you solely lack in life. She was bringing back that light that you lost back then.

Hanni was slowly becoming your Miss Sunshine and it's quite concerning for you. Hanni was a good person both as a person and at heart. So for you to have such feelings for her was surely not appropriate. In fact, you are clearly seen as a big brother towards her more than anything. But this also seems to have cause a stir at your work place and that's the lunch boxes.

You see, everyone in your workplace have been seeing you eat alone and getting your food at the counter but ever since you brought Hanni's lunchbox, everyone has been curious on who's been giving you such food.

"Hey Y/N, nice lunch box."

"Ah, T-Thank you."

"So did you made it?"

"Ah no, Someone else did."

That immediately cause them to gasp in a surprising manner which confused the hell out of you.

"Y-You have a girlfriend?"

"Ah, No she's a friend of mine."

"But she makes you lunch boxes everyday?"

"Yeah"

"Bro, You're so lucky because if a girl made lunch for you everyday then they are wife material. Marry her and don't let her go!"

Those words have been sitting on your thoughts for some time now and everytime you would see Hanni smiling and getting close to you, it made you realize that the girl that once glared at you and harshly gave you food, was making you fall for her.

It sounded so wrong for you to be having feelings on a girl who's so much younger than you and that's the confusing part. You suddenly began to act differently towards Hanni to which she noticed immediately. Everytime she would get close to you, you would move away. When she messages you, you just simply say a one liner and tell her good night. You were pushing her away from your life because deep down you know, you know that you don't deserve her.

Of course your actions pains Hanni because she felt like she might have pushed herself towards you too much. Her worst fear was slowly creeping up on her and she didn't like that one bit. She decided to take a step back on her plans and go back to her roots. Her first steps. Surely that would help her right?

Your alarm clock rang once again indicating your normal boring day to start. You got out of your bed and checked your phone but to your surprise, Hanni hasn't even read your message last night. You sighed and messaged her a simple Good morning and did you normal morning routine. You turned on the morning news hoping to hear something good happening at the economy as you wear your usual work outfit.

"Huh? So today's afternoon forecast is rain huh?"

You looked out your window and saw that the sun was already hiding and dark clouds were ruling over the sky.

"More like morning will rain."

You turned your TV off and wore your shoes before getting out of your apartment. Hanni hasn't still read your messages which slowly made you worried. This was the longest Hanni has left you on read and surprisingly, outside of your apartment was her Mother.

"Oh, Mrs. Pham good morning."

You bowed at her but you notice the sad and empty look she gave you. You sense something bad had happened and your heart was starting to beat faster as this could mean something related to Hanni.

"Y/N. Have you seen Hanni?"

There goes your bad feeling. Cold sweats began to form on your forehead as you tried to keep yourself calm.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Pham but I thought she went home last night"

"She didn't.. I tried calling her multiple times but she's not answering and... I feel like this is our fault as parents for her running away."

You wide your eyes. Your ears was not deceiving you at all because you heard it loud and clear. Hanni ran away from home and hasn't contacted anyone since. You were slowly on the verge of panicking but you remained calm as there could be a place for her to be in.

"Did you try to contact anyone from her friends Mrs. Pham?"

"I did. I called Minji and she has no idea that Hanni ran away. I... I don't know where my baby could be..."

Mrs. Pham suddenly began to sob her eyes out as you pulled out your handkerchief and gave it to her. You rubbed her back hoping to calm her down because you know how much a mother loves her children to their deaths. But there was something that still lingered on your mind.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Pham for asking but you said earlier about something about your fault as a parent for letting Hanni ran away? Hanni never once told me any problem she was facing but this is the first time I heard of this."

You might be nosy right now but you couldn't let anything happen to Hanni right now. Your sunshine was missing and it was your turn to return the favor she has done for you turning your life upside down for the better.

"Well you  see me and my husband-"

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"Why is everything falling on me so hard? What did I do to deserve this?"

Hanni thought to herself as she hugged her knees close to her. For the past few days, everything has been shity for her. School hasn't been to kind with her as her marks was slowly falling behind because of her family issues. Her parents have been constantly getting into fights lately due to her father wanting to prioritize their financial status by moving away once again. But her mother didn't want any of that money if it means making Hanni sad.

Both didn't end up in a good deal and in their fight ended up in hot claims of divorce. Hanni couldn't take such possibility as she didn't want to lose any of her parents. She had loved them so much and for her to be the reason why they would be divorcing, it was stabbing her heart.

Add in the slow fall of her relationship with you as you were clearly trying to push her away. Her once sanctuary in you was slowly disappearing right infront of her eyes. Add all this and Hanni couldn't handle it anymore as she decided that it was better off to run away from her problems, to run away from all worries and just be free.

"Mom.. Dad, I'll miss you surely.."

A tear escaped her eyes as she was set to a new goal for herself and for the better of everyone. Surely she wasn't gonna be missed by anyone if she just dissappeared from everyone.

"Oppa, I'll miss you..."

This time, her emotions was slowly getting the best of her and it didn't help that rain was slowly falling down on her. Her walls began to show crack as she recalls the moments she felt so love whenever she was with you. The memories both of you shared flashed on her mind making her realize that she had so much fun being with you. The way her heart relaxes even now just by thinking of you shows how much you impacted her life positively.

The rain suddenly got harsher yet she stayed there, on the bench getting soaked not minding the rain at all. Her body began to shiver from the cold harsh rain and she could feel her feet and hands getting stiff from the rain.

"Maybe this is better.... Dying from the cold..."

She closed her eyes and accepted her faith. There was no hope for her to fix the problem because she is the problem after all.

"Goodbye Minji, I really appriciate you being my friend because I'm such a loser. Thank you so much for giving me such fun and memorable memories."

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"Goodbye Mom, Dad. I know that Dad was just thinking about all of us but guess what? I'm a stubborn child after all and weak one too. I couldn't handle seeing you fight because of me and I hope the two of you will be happy after all this."

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"Oppa, I'm sorry for being too clingy towards you. I must have been a creep towards you huh? I'm sorry for acting like a spoiled annoying bitch towards you. I'm sorry for bothering you all this time. I'm sorry for all the mistake I did for you, all the pain and confusion I did towards you. I'm sorry.…I truly am sorry because I.... Love you Oppa and…goodbye... "

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"HANNI!!!"

You finally spotted her as you sprinted towards her faster than anyone as your adrenaline pumped to the max. You immediately covered Hanni from the rain and saw her shivering from the cold rain. She slowly opened her eyes and even though they were quite Blurry she will never forget the face of the person she loved.

"O.... Oppa..."

"Don't say anything. We're going to the hospital okay?"

You immediately removed your large jacket and coated Hanni with it. Her eyes was now slowly getting a good vision of you as notice how she looked so tired and broken. This made your heart crack as you held her cheeks warmly making Hanni love your touch. It was comforting and warm.

"Now hold on Hanni. I'm gonna carry you."

"W-What?"

Her weak voice made you more inspired as you carried her in a princess like manner as you held the umbrella on one hand while carrying her as well. By some godly strength, you carried Hanni so fast to the hospital in less than 5 minutes as upon arriving there, you called out doctors and nurses immediately. You didn't care if everyone was looking at you. A doctor and some nurses then came to your aid as you gently placed Hanni on a hospital bed.

They proceeded to do their medical stuff as you anxiously wait for the result on the waiting room. Obviously, you were the only soaked person in there as you would attract some eyes but you didn't care. All your mind could process is that Hanni will be alright and nothing bad will happen. Upon hearing that Hanni ran away, a place immediately landed on your though as you hurriedly made your way to the park where Hanni told you was her comfort zone.

Not long afterwards, the doctor would come out as you stand up hoping for the best.

"How's she doc?"

"She's fine. She's in a stable condition now but if she was 5 minutes late, she could be in critical condition because of hypothermia."

You sighed out a breath of relief as you wanted to thank the man from above.

"We're moving the patient to a private room. We just need a signature from her parents or her legal Guardian."

"I'm that person Doc. I'm......"

"You're?"

You gulped as you were afraid to say this word but at a time like this, there was no other way.

"I'm her boyfriend Doc."

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"Ugh where.... Where am I? Why is the ceiling so... White?"

Hanni spoke as she was looking around her new surroundings. This was very new to her as she tried to sit up but immediately noticed the tube injected to her left hand.

"I'm at a hospital? What happened? Hmm?"

Hanni noticed a hand holding her right hand tightly as the person was slowly waking up. Hanni widen her eyes seeing you look up at her. You immediately widen your eyes as you hugged her tightly surprising her. Her heart immediately began to face faster and her cheeks getting warmer.

"O-Oppa? Why.. Why are you here?"

"Thank God you're already awake Hanni. I was so worried sick you know."

This sentence only made Hanni blush even more as she could feel herself melting at your embrace. You finally pulled away from her as you checked her temperature on her neck and forehead. Your small gesture of checking up on her reminded her of when she took care of you when you were sick.

"O-Oppa I though.. I thought you hated me. But you saved me... Again. Just like last time.."

You softly gave her a warm smile and patted her head. You finally realize what those words meant as her mother finally told you the first time you met Hanni.

"Yeah, I finally remembered the 8 year old kid I saved from the pedestrian lane before. I didn't know she grew up so beautiful."

Hanni widen her eyes and gave you a look of shock. There was no way that you finally remembered her after all as her facial expression made you laugh whole heartedly.

"Yah, if you know then why did you kept quiet all this time?"

She pouted her cheeks at you cutely as you couldn't help but cup her cheeks on your hand making her blush furiously.

"I only figured out after your mother told me. Speaking off your mother, Your parents are kinda dissapointed at you."

Hanni lowered her head in shame as she knows that what she did was something she can't apologize for. It was an impulsive decision for her and she has nobody to blame but herself.

"But, I talked to your parents about their issues and told me that the whole divorce thing was just said because of the heat of the argument. There was really no reason for the two of them to separate."

This made the small girl smile happily as she was glad that the issue of her parents was solved. But there was still one problem that lingered on her mind.

"Oppa, I have to apologize to you."

This made you confused as you removed your hand on her cheeks. She played with her fingers as a blush was evident on her cheeks and she couldn't properly look at you in the eye.

"I.. I'm sorry for being too clingy towards you. It must have felt a little awkward with me, a high schooler getting all comfortable with an adult and-"

"Okay Hanni, Stop and listen to what I'm about to say."

You looked at Hanni in a serious expression as Hanni's heart beat was so loud and warm sweats began to form on her forehead. Your intense stare was making Hanni weak.

"I need to apologize for trying to push you away cause you see, I may have put myself in a pickled situation."

This time, Hanni notice a red stain appearing on your cheeks as her heart began to beat faster. Is her dream fantasy finally becoming a reality?

"Ever since you arrived to my life, everything has been so bright and positive with me. Like I feel like the traces of my old self dissappeared because of you. You ,Pham Hanni changed my life for the better in just a couple of months. Nobody has given me this much joy and fun in my life since I was a high schooler and because of that, I'm so forever thankful of you. "

Hanni could only nod at your words as you know the following words that will come out of your mouth is not from the brain but from the heart. With one deep breath you continued.

"Hanni, during those months of fun and enjoyment with you is something that will never be replaced and because of that I...might have caught something like.. Ummm you see I eventually-Argh! fuck it."

You couldn't properly say it but with one strong motivation, you said the words you wanted to say with your heart.

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"I love you Hanni."

Now Hanni's mind blew out as she couldn't believe what she just heard. Eight letters and 3 words, it was finally said by her first love towards her as this took a while to process but when she finally realized what she heard. She couldn't hide the happiness that her heart was beating.

"So you see, I plan to tell your parents that I love you-"

You were silenced when Hanni pulled your collar closer to her face as your lips touches hers. Her small peach flavored lips gave you an euphoric sensation that elevated your body to the top. Her lips locking with yours felt like you finally found the missing piece to your puzzle. She pulled away giggling and smiling sweetly at you.

"Oppa-No, Y/N, I love you too. Your my first love hehehe~"

Now that was a surprise but nonetheless you smiled back and cupped her cheeks and kissing her forehead.

"So you have been in love with me for 10 years?"

"Yeah, I do. I sounded desperate huh?"

"No, no you're not. That just adds to your charm."

"Hehehe, Anything to make you love me~"

The two of you shared another kiss but this time, the two were now fully aware that they loved each other and their hearts belonged to each other.

Even though that failed flower fell to the ground, it can become a foundation to bloom a better, stronger tree for flowers to bloom themselves. There is no failure in life, there is only bumps that we need to overcome in order to proceed to the next step. And sometimes, we need our own miss sunshine to guide us.

[sadieshairbrush]

Stranger Things: Clementine

A/N: This is so scary to me as I’ve been working on this for a crazy long time! Unfortunately, I understand that a lot of people aren’t fans of Original characters but I just find the concept of it a lot more inclusive, and I can take more inclusive liberties with my character! No mentions of hair, skin, eye colour etc, just a name. As a Scottish girl imagining myself casually in Hawkins is strange and I usually find it better to envision myself playing a character I can become attached to. I love this character, and I hope she becomes as close to your heart and she is to mine. Steve slow burn.

Summary: Clementine Chase, a classic high school girl in Hawkins is suddenly faced with the mystery surrounding a missing boy.

Chapter 1: The Vanishing of Will Byers

“Thanks again for helping me out here, Clementine. I really appreciate this.”

“I don’t mind,” I smiled, dragging a cloth over the surface of the kitchen counter. “Its all my mess anyways.”

Normally this mess was created while trying to entertain the group of 12 year olds I’ve babysat a couple of times but tonight, they were playing some nerdy board game the last ten hours. They’d begun this far before I’d arrived, so the mess tonight was my own.

I’d attempted to make the boys some sandwiches near 2PM. I’d been there for an hour and not once had any of the kids come up from the basement yet. Serves me right since I didn’t actually need to be there until it got dark.

It was around 6PM when Nancy had walked through the front door, more than surprised to see me. She’d froze half way through the door, and I looked at her with a daring smirk.

“Have fun today, Nancy?”

“Just… a little.”

I knew what that meant. Her tiny grin told me all I needed to know. Steve was in my circle of friends, after all. How could I not know what was going on behind the scenes?

The story had gone that Steve Harrington, King Steve had taken a shine to Perfect Nancy Wheeler. How long would it last, would everyone know if they were to go all the way?

It had been about two weeks. Everyone knew about it. Still, I wasn’t quite sure what the official story was. Is this a silly little thing or are they genuinely interested in one another?

I was only let in on this before the weekend, and had only decided to let my bitterness go so I had a ride to school tomorrow.

Seeing her come home while I was babysitting her brother wasn’t so awkard, not as awkward as it could be anyway. But I could always sense she wasn’t quite as relaxed as I’d like her to be around me. We didn’t generally run in the same circles, but who was I to care?

By 8PM when Mr and Mrs Wheeler came home with Holly, Nancy was clearing her snacks off the kitchen counter we’d been leaning against, unwilling to let her parents into the gossip we’d been sharing.

“I’m going to study before bed, so I’ll see you in school tomorrow, Clementine.”

“She’s got Kaminskys test,” I cleared up as Ted made a bee-line for the TV. Karen nodded, heading out to take Holly to her bed.

When she was back, I’d already had my coat on, clearing the mess I’d made with a damp rag.

The last time I was here ended the same.

Clearing up the days mess while Karen practically pried me away from the cloth with a, “you’ve done enough, I’ll handle the mess.”

Though I’ve not listened yet.

I smile cheekily as the kids loud voices upstairs as they yell tensely from the basement. I meet Karen’s eyes, and . “Those kids will be wanted home about now. I could walk them out before I overstay my welcome.”

She looked down at her own watch, noting the time. It was already reaching eight fifteen.

“Mike! …Mike!” She yelled, coming back to the kitchen area. She waits patiently with a hand on her hip, but the boys voices just get louder as they chat on top of one another.

“Mike!”

She walked towards the basement door, and swings it open without an other seconds thought.

And from there, I can just slightly hear Mikes voice over the others.

“Mom! We’re in the middle of a campaign!”

“You mean the end.” She taps her watch, meaningfully. “Fifteen after.”

Mike runs up the stairs, and catches my eye when he sees me, a look of confusion.

“How long have you been here?”

I could have choked on my own scoff. That basement is playing with his head.

“Uhh, all day? I made you guys your lunch? Ordered pizza and brought it down for you like an hour ago for dinner?”

He shook his head, probably an attempt to clear his already empty brain.

“Mom, just 20 more minutes!”

“It’s a school night, Michael, and I just put Holly to bed. You can finish next weekend.”

“That’ll ruin the flow–

“Michael–

“I’m serious, mom! It took two weeks to plan! How was I supposed to know it’d take ten hours?”

“Oh, no, it’s the end of the world as we know it!” I teased, ignoring his furious look.

“You can continue it later.”

Mike regards us with an ignorant look and rounds the corner to where Ted is attempting to watch the TV, which is still mostly static.

The storm from earlier on really had to have done a number on the electronics.

“Dad, don’t you think that–

“I think you should listen to your mother,” he interrupted, lazily, moving to hit the top of the TV. “Piece of junk…”

I bite back a laugh, and move to ring out the dish towel. I should have called Steve in advance. Though, I should count my blessings; I’d rather take the short walk down a few blocks than sit in a smoke filled car in the company of two of the biggest bullies I’ve ever known, Tommy and Carol, who would invite themselves along again.

“It was great to have you. But you don’t have to stay to clean up after we’re home, you know,” said Karen as I shrug my coat on.

“I know I don’t have to. I just feel a lot better about it. It’s a thousand times better than sitting in my dads house with no one to talk to or nothing to do,” I admit, matching Dustins wide grin as he approaches, pizza box in hand as the kids all fan out into the kitchen.

“Clementine! Want one?” He opens the box to show two decent sized slices of pizza left. “Was sausage and pepperoni your idea?”

“Sure was. And it looks amazing, but have you offered anything to Nancy?”

“I did, but she just shut the door in my face. There’s been something seriously wrong with her ever since she started dating that… douchebag, Steve.” He looked over his shoulder, making sure Mikes parents were out of ear shot, and once he was in the clear, he brought his voice back up. “Plus you’ve been stuck with us all day.”

“Yeah, he can be a douche,” I laugh, taking a slice from the box and taking a huge bite.

“She used to be cool...”

“She’s just a teenager. Trust me, I’d know,” I settled with a firm nod.

Teenagers can be mean to kids, but I’ve seen Nancy in school, as innocent as can be. Like a tiny, smart fish in a big, stupid pond.

We cut the conversation short when the rest of the boys begin to gather around with their jackets and bags, ready to turn in to their own beds.

“Alright, come on.” I nod them along and open the front door, and they race out towards their bikes. “Thanks for having me.”

“Thanks for watching the boys,” says Karen as I close the front door behind us.

It wasn’t the coldest of nights, but there were still small puffs of condensation with every exhale of the November night. I patted Mike on the shoulder as he stood to see all his friends off.

“Get home safe, guys, no detours,” I half-joked.

These kids were good, but they were still kids.

They waved me off as they picked up and adjusted their bikes, and I made my way back home, more than ready to turn in.

I savoured my nights at the Wheelers. Really, I did. Whether I was there to look after Mike (sometimes all his friends too), or just there for dinner as a thank you for doing so.

For my house was just empty.

I mean it was empty all the time. When I wasn’t home I was at Steve’s, but ever since he’d begun to pursue Nancy, I’d always wait until there was a group of us, just out of respect. Same went for calling him up in the morning or at night just to talk about whatever had been going on in life.

So, really my options this morning were to watch TV with breakfast until my ride came, or to rush breakfast and walk.

I sighed, turning off the waffle maker just in time for the phone to ring.

My father had already left, so I picked up the landline in the kitchen, and held the phone between my ear and shoulder as I put my breakfast together.

“Chase residence,” I sing-songed in practiced tones. “Dad has already left for the office, can I take a message for you?”

“Hi, Clementine.”

I quirked my brow the minute I heard the voice. Joyce Byers whose son I had watched over just last night. Except this morning she sounded particularly anxious. “Will didn’t stay with you and your dad last night, did he?”

Why on earth would we have a 12 year old stay the night without letting his mother know? “No… Joyce, he left with the boys last night. He lives pretty close to Dustin, I know they ride the same way. I could call his house?”

“I-I’ll call. Thank you. Really, I think he just left early for school…”

I certainly wasn’t convinced. But I let her go anyway, and continued my morning as normal, not thinking much of the call. I had my fair share of surprise sleepovers at Wills age.

I’d already switched off the TV and washed my dishes by the time I heard the BMWs beeping horn outside.

I rushed out, locking the door behind me.

Tommy, the infamous dick of Hawkins was already yelling out the window towards me, lit cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Move your ass, Clementine!”

“Tommy, put that shit out! I told you a million times that I’m not going to be hotboxed by your smoke.”

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, but it always came back to the same argument.

“Those are the rules,” Steve defended with a shrug as I slid into the back beside Carol who offered me a stick of gum. “She doesn’t like smoke, you can manage the length of a car ride.”

“So prudish, Clementine~”

Carol teased.

I rolled my eyes and adjusted my seatbelt with a huff. “What’s the point on spending some amount of money on perfume just to smell of cigarettes before I’m even in first period?”

“Like money’s an issue,” Carol continued.

Fine, it wasn’t. But I’d still like to smell like the Love’s Baby Soft perfume I’d paid for. “Whatever.”

“Your perfume’s way too sweet anyways. And you’re still alright for coming over tomorrow, right? My old man’s out of town on a conference, and…”

“Yeah, yeah. The beers are on me, don’t worry. I’ve got it covered, you dick.”

“See, you drink but you won’t smoke,” Tommy scoffed. “The hell’s that about?”

I could waste my time bickering or I could simply shut up. But that wouldn’t be fun in the slightest.

“If you want to get sick and die, do it on your own time. You already look sallow and sunken, just don’t inflict that on me.”

“I look what?” He shot back, neck strained to look back at me. “Say that again, Clementine.”

“Oh, I’m just teasing!”

“You know you just piss me off when you start this shit!” He was seething. Best way to piss a guy like him off was to bruise his ego, that much was clear. And not to brag but I had years of practice under my best. It had yet to get old.

“If you don’t like my teasing, why are you moaning so much?”

“Listen to me, you little bitch-“

“Hey!” Steve yelled. “Don’t talk to her like that, alright? How you’re still friends at all is beyond me. Just shut up, and enjoy the ride.” He switched on his radio where Michael Jackson instantly blasted, and suddenly the ride was somewhat enjoyable.

Our daily procedure for the past two weeks was for me to give Steve an out to meet with Nancy. Sometimes that involved guarding the girls bathroom by standing outside, making up excuses.

“I told you, it’s a mess in there! There’s literally a tapeworm climbing up the wall, I swear…”

And of course people knew I was guarding a hookup. Probably even that it was Steves, but everything I knew about Nancy Wheeler told me the last thing she’d want is to be walked in on making out with a boy against the wall of the ladies toilets, even if stories of their dating life was floating around the school.

The other two didn’t quite get it. They couldn’t understand why he’d waste all his time chasing after a complete square who probably doesn’t even put out.

I mean that’s all he’s usually after, and they’ve all been okay with it.

But Steve was a friend. I was just happy he was finally after a girl worth his time. Nancy was nice, smart, and it made for a pleasant change.

Steve has dated tonnes of girls. They never lasted, and he never cared. He was a man of pure sexuality. But something was different about Nancy Wheeler… I could tell.

I knew her well enough what with being at her house every month or so.

What do you think our topic of discussion last week when I was paid to appear twice?

It’s the reason she’d offer a small, secretive smile as she exits the bathroom, and i’d return it with a sly nod.

Just like any normal day.

A normal school day also includes suffering through Steve and Tommy playing basketball until they knackered themselves out. Though, the athletes they are, it took them a while every time, so we would always keep ourselves occupied on the bleachers. It was a routine, one that I was about to invite disruption to as I held open the doors to the gym.

Nancy walked with her books against her chest as she talks with her friend, an almost ethereal floating opposed to stepping as she heads for the buildings exit.

“Hey, Nancy, c’mere!” I yelled out before I stopped to think that I might startle her.

She freezes and finds my eyes, startled as expected. “Hurry! Coming, Barb?”

Barbara was a tall girl. She towered above the rest of us, but she was hardly given a second of notice. I hadn’t paid much attention to her myself until Nancy took this position in the group. At the call of her name she looks shocked. It’s not that I didn’t usually try to involve Barbara, she’s Nancys best friend after all, and since Nancy was invited into the social group it only made sense to include Barbara too.

Except Nancy had always been popular in the subtle kind of way. Her trademarks were being pretty, smart and kind, and everyone wants that even if girls like Carol gave her a hard time. They liked her anyways, at least a little.

“Hurry where?” Nancy gave an unsure smile, still standing what felt like a mile away.

“To watch your boyfriend play basketball, duh!” I teased, pushing the door open as the pair approached. “You can sit with us, we’ll go out to Bennys after?”

The two turn to each other, but whatever Barbara was trying to get across to Nancy wasn’t delivered to me. Nancy then turns to me with an enthused smile.

“Sure! Sounds fun.”

With a grin, I lead them to our spot on the bleachers, trying to stay aware of how different these two were to the girls who watch us approach with weary looks on their faces.

“Are you lost?” Sneers Becky with a cruel laugh. As if I’m unaware that I had two girls trailing behind me.

Carol turns to push her, playfully. “She’s our friend!”

I motion for the pair to sit wherever they felt comfortable, and they sat a little far for my liking, huddled together as though I wouldn’t have their back if someone were to be snide.

“Yeah, be nice, you dick. You know Nancy, Steve’s girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Nancy spoke wearily, but she went ignored. It wasn’t my intention to push her, but Steve generally rolled that way, and I saw it as an inevitability.

“Oh, Nancy! I heard about that. Must be really different for you, huh?” Becky started.

She was one of three of Steve’s exes that were currently present. None of them truly seemed to mind when the boy moved on. They all had their turns and they all had their shot in the limelight.

Nancy doesn’t seem to understand the workings of this, appearing more shy than usual, eying the tonnes of magazines, packets of gum and cigarettes splayed across the bleachers.

“She’s doing fine,” I said, picking up the Just Seventeen magazine that caught my eye. “Did you catch this? It only launched for the first time last month, look at its first issue!”

I tilted the magazine towards Nancy and Barb, pointing out the ad for Tri-Ac.

“I’m breaking in on my chin something nightmarish, but they say Madonna uses it.”

“No!” Said Nancy, kindly, analysing my face. “No, I don’t see anything.”

“It’s because she’s wearing so much makeup,” Laurie spoke up.

I rolled my eyes, unable to deny this fact.

“Shut up, Laurie,” Carol sighed. “Barb, you’d look so cute in these!” She yelled, pointing out the latest male fashion trends down the side of one page. “It shouldn’t be too far out of your comfort zone.”

I turn to look at the girl in question. She looks at a loss of what to say, and Nancy is no better.

“Go polish your reebok, Carol,” I remarked.

“Go, Steve!” Becky whistled, watching his bare chest rise and fall as he sweats, actually drawing our attention to the game we barely paid much attention to anyways.

“Put that shirt back on!” I yelled.

The game went on for another painful hour, and by the time they were done my stomach had begun to growl.

After a short-lived argument over who won, the boys hopped into the (well needed) showers, and we left.

“I’m going to get the biggest burger you’ve ever seen, I could eat a horse,” I groaned, mouth watering at the very thought.

Bennys hadn’t been much of a tradition, but rather a routine. Steve had made a point that it’d only been him, myself, Carol, Tommy and Nancy. And Barbara as I’d gently remind him. He thought that inviting the likes of the other girls in the group would be disrespectful, and I clapped his back for it.

Usually though, we’d have brought as many of our friends that we could fit over two booths. I think I prefer what we’ve had going in lately if I’m honest.

As we walked towards the parking lot, ready to pile into Steve’s car, Nancys voice cut through all the jeering.

“Hey, you know, my mom will be wanting me home around now. She puts a dinner out every night and-“

“You’re not coming?” Steve interrupts, stalking close towards her.

He ducks his head so his face is closer, and brings his voice down. “Come on, we won’t be there long, promise.”

She looked rather awkward, eyes on Steve’s hand that rested on her arm.

“I shouldn’t.”

“It’s fine, they can join us another time!” Carol smiled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, for now, I think we’ll survive without them,” Tommy adds.

“Not sure that I will,” I muttered. Though I know it’s best that the pair go home. Why should they make themselves uncomfortable? Plus, Carol and Tommy weren’t exactly solid company. “Guys, it’s fine. Seriously, we have plenty of time to hang out. Go on home,” I told.

Nancy watched me, unsure at first, then she looks back to Steve.

“I’m sorry.”

He nods, then pulls her in for a kiss. It was soft, tender.

I wasn’t too sure where they stood, whether they were meant to be a secret or not. This little moment between them cleared that up for me, and I smirked to myself.

Nancy appeared to feel the same, a shocked grin she tried to hide.

“Want us to puke? Come on, Romeo!”

Tommy blanched.

“Shut up, stupid. Let’s go, lover boy,” I butted in just as Nancys embarrassed gaze fell to the ground of the parking lot. “See you guys tomorrow.”

“Wait,” Steve interrupts, pulling Nancys stare back to him with his hands evidently magnetic eyes. “I’ll still see you later tonight, won’t I? Alone?”

I note Barbara’s shocked expression.

Clearly, Nancy didn’t let her in on this little plan. We, on the other hand, heard about their little meet up as soon as we were in Steve’s company.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “To study.”

I truly didn’t know Nancy well enough to understand whether she meant this or not. Knowing Steve, even if she did mean this, he might just try and sway her to do a little more than studying.

“To study,” I echo with a nod. “Let’s move it!”

And with reluctance, the pair were able to part ways.

We could have still had fun at Bennys like we normally did. But my mind slipped into somewhere I hadn’t expected. Something I didn’t remember until about halfway through taking my seat next to Carol.

“We should invite Nancy to yours tomorrow, right?” I asked, still rationing the contents of my burger around the table. Benny once reminded me I could order it without the pickle or the onion but why waste food when I could feed annoying teenage boys?

Steve perks up with a huge sigh of relief.

“Yes, Clementine. Absolutely, we should! And you know why?”

“So you can have sex and find out if she has a vagina?” Tommy remarked, earning a chuckle from Carol followed by an obnoxious wink.

“What, it’s weird for a girl who’s barely 16 to be a virgin now?” Steve challenged, flinging the spare pickles into his burger. “Not everyone’s been banging since they were 12.”

“I know that, douche bag,” Tommy retorts, an embarrassed flush on his cheeks. I’ve come to learn that he’s rather proud of his sex life. So it’s easy to figure that his shamefaced defensiveness was more about Steve shutting him down. “I’m just saying every other girl has at least kissed someone. She’s not kissed anyone besides you. Either she’s a wasteland or… just a tease.”

I shudder annoyingly at the slow grin that pulls at his lips, turning to Carol.

“How do you let him near you with that mouth?”

“That’s for me to know,” she laughs, sending him a wink across the table.

“You guys are disgusting.”

“Okay, little miss perfect. Lost your touch or something? When was the last time you even had a boyfriend?” Carol jabs, eyeing me up with a playful malice.

“Can’t lose your touch if you’ve never been in the game,” I countered, having never actually had a boyfriend. I crossed my arms feeling pleased with myself and hopeful that Carol would be off my back as suddenly as she was on it.

“You dated Reed!”

Steve started, suddenly on me too.

“Yeah, for like two weeks! He wasn’t my boyfriend,” I squeaked. Although being that intimate with someone in the same group wouldn’t be too strange. I mean just look at Steve and his exes.

“But you got with him at my party.”

“You had sex on Carols bed, didn’t you?” Steve smirked.

“Oh, my God!” I groaned, gripping my hair dramatically. “That was Kieran, and there was no bed sex!”

“Nah, come on now, that was actually pretty bad.” Steve attempted to come to my aid, waving off the others as if he didn’t bring it up. “Don’t you remember what he did?”

“No, wait, shut up. I thought you guys dated for a while,” Carol drawled in thought.

“Oh my God!” Tommy laughs so loud that it startles Carol. “That was all fake, to made Kieran jealous. No one told you?”

“No!”

I’d have felt guiltier, but I couldn’t hold back the bubbling giggles even with a hand pressed against my mouth. All this time, and my best friend thought I’d had a whole relationship that never existed.

“Why do you think we’re still friends after he ‘dumped me’ for Laurie? Thanks for that, by the way,” I jabbed, still a little bitter about the situation.

I was so close, he was back in my clutches. But Steve just had to see what Laurie had to offer instead of helping a friend in need. Not only did he not help like he promised, but now it looks like I was dumped for another girl, and that I’m still friends with the dude who did it.

It’s hard to see the situation in a negative light now after all this time. Especially since I lost interest in Kieran a whole while ago.

“I can’t believe you never knew!” Tommy guffawed, shaking Carols arm to tease her. Her face remained stony, showing no interest in making this a laughing matter.

“Well, no one told me!”

“Whatever,” he shrugs with a mouth full of food. “We’ve been here ages, it’s getting dark soon.”

Steve stuffed the last of his fries into his already full mouth.

With a united murmuring (Carols being a little too sharp) we begin to clear our table, all of us picking up the shakes we’d left aside to bring home, a habit we shared between us due to the distraction we caused each other.

Except when we piled into Steve’s car that night, everything was suddenly far from normal, and we hadn’t had a clue.

I was driven home, said goodbye to my friends, and walked into to a quiet house.

Only my dad was there, worrying his hands at his place on the couch. That was until he saw me at the door. He was on his feet in a flash, bee lining his way towards me.

He still wore his dress trousers and a smart purple shirt.

His brief case had been abandoned by the coffee table.

“Dad? Shouldn’t you be at work still?”

I wracked my brain, trying to make sense of his presence, checking my watch, making sure I had the date right.

“Clementine! I came home as soon as I heard, I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, and when I saw you weren’t here, I got worried.”

I’d never seen him in such distress. I’d kept my gaze on him as I dumped my school bag on the floor. “We got some milkshakes after school… but, dad, what are you talking about? You came home as soon as you heard what?”

He froze for a second, his gaze suddenly sympathetic. “I thought you would have heard by now? The Byers kid… he’s missing.”

And just like that, my heart wrenched.

I watched him the night before, he went home alone, and his mother called me only just this morning.

“Missing? He can’t be missing, dad. He didn’t just stay at Dustins?”

I don’t know why it was hard to believe. I’d just never heard of someone I knew disappearing before. Will was always quiet, very rarely said a word to me besides a Please or a Thank you. But I knew him, I knew that little boy.

“Afraid not, sweetie. Nobody knows what’s happened quite yet, but until we do, you’ve to get a lift to school and back, alright, and no detours. Straight home, no adventures, no outings, no grabbing milkshakes.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, fine,” I nodded.

Tomorrow he’d be back to work the hours he usually was, and wouldn’t care less where I was as long as I was with friends. But I wouldn’t risk bringing it up now.

“That’s my girl. What do you say we put two nice mugs of hot chocolate on? I’m sure we can figure it out.” He whisks himself away to the kitchen and I just blink to myself.

“Yeah! Yeah, should be fun…”

Steve calls the house just as the cops settle into the livingroom that night. They’d come by to question me under my father’s watch.

They waited patiently as I promised I’d be off the phone in two seconds, taking the call in the hallway where they could see me incase I raised any suspicions.

“What do you want?” I said flatly.

I could practically see Steve as he scoffed, hand pulling away from his hair he was probably fixing in the mirror.

“Nice to talk to you too, Jesus.”

“Sorry, but seriously, what do you want?”

He exhaled loudly on the other side of the phone, voice becoming whiny.

“Nancy called. She says she’s under house arrest ‘cause of that missing kid.”

I turn to look over my shoulder towards the room my dad kept the cops company. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Steve that they were here. Though I wasn’t worried. He didn’t even care enough to ask why I was basically whispering.

“Okay? What do you want me to do?”

“Convince me to do something stupid? I want to see her.”

Shit, that’s sweet.

I screw my eyes shut, knowing I’m about to give some stupid advice, just like he knows I will. I could be more stupid about it, so let’s cut me a break.

“Then see her. You’re not new to sneaking into bedrooms,” I shrugged, as if he could see me doing it. “Just don’t make her uncomfortable.”

“Why would I make her uncomfortable?”

He sounds offended, but he’s now heard exactly what he wanted to hear,

“If she wasn’t planning to have sex with you in the first place tonight, being in her personal space and trying to screw her is even worse.”

“I know, I know! Kaminskys test is coming up for her, I’ll help her study.”

The smile in his voice made my heart flutter. It’s like reading a romantic novel. But I know if I tell him how amazing it is to see him learning about what’s going on in Nancys life he’d take the huff and hang up the phone.

“You’re the devil, Steve Harrington,” I sigh.

“You’re the best, Clementine Chase!”

Then the dial tone.

It takes a good hour to let the cops know everything that went on that night. And then I found I was just repeating myself over and over again.

“I told you everything I know, already.”

It stands to reason I’d be questioned a little more intensely since I was one of the last to see Will. It was all unwinding just a little too quickly for me, and I felt as though I could never settle. Just a few hours ago I was enjoying shakes with my friends, laughing and making jokes about anything and everything.

Now here I was being interrogated in my own living room.

“We just want to make sure you’re not missing anything,” spoke the cop with the moustache. “You were one of the last to see him.”

I sighed, and the other, slightly more competent cop cut in. “I know it’s a little frustrating Miss. Chase. We’d just like to make sure we’ve not missed anything. Did he ever show signs of being unhappy? He fit in okay?”

I stopped to think for a second, feeling the pressure of the two looking down at me from my place on the couch.

Will was the quietest of Mikes friends, mostly timid.

“He’s really close to Mike Wheeler. He looks out for him since his friends are… you know, they always kinda picked on him.”

“They pick on him?” The second cop took to writing in his notes.

“I guess. They’re great kids but the Byers boy is sort of the runt. They kinda comment of his shoes, mimic things he says… he’s a little more… sensitive, you know?”

Thinking back on every interaction with Will, he was definitely the peewee, laughed at and teased. He wasn’t like the other boys. But what these cops were getting at wasn’t sitting right with me.

“But he’d never run away. He trusts them, his family loves him. When it comes down to it, they all have his back.”

He considers this for a moment, eventually nods and closes his note pad.

He folds his arms with a deep breath.

“We haven’t come to a near conclusion yet. Let us know if you remember anything else. Thank you, sir,” he says, nodding towards my dad who stands up to lead the pair out the door.

They need to find that boy in one piece.

He was just so small, a mouse among cats. He’d barely ever spoken a word to me, just always a polite smile, and an excited nod to whatever story the boys were telling me that night.

How could this all happen so fast? I thought, head buried in my hands as my dads weight sank into the couch beside me.

I felt his hand on my back. He was unsure how to break the silence, that much was for sure.

I lift my head to look at him, and he stills, waiting.

“I really hope he’s alive, dad.”

He leans over, planting a kiss on my forehead, grunting when the phone rings again. “If that’s one of your friends, tell them to make it quick. You’re in no headspace to be gossiping.”

I nod, knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to chat away as if I wasn’t feeling sick to my stomach anyways.

I pick the phone up, not bothering to take the call in the hallway for privacy. Prepared to hear Carol, maybe even Tina or Steve, I froze at Mike Wheelers voice on the other end.

“What do you think happened to Will?”

What the hell is going on on this night?

I risk a glance at my dad to find he’s watching me with worry.

“I’m-“

“Did anything weird happen when you watched him ride off?”

“Umm, no.” I stand up, and walk a little further from my dad’s listening ears. “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything.”

“Meet us in ten.”

“What? Where?”

I should have asked why. Said no. Convinced him not to go anywhere. Why didn’t I?

“Mirkwood”

“What the hell is that?”

“Where Cornwallis meets Kerley!” He stressed, quickly. “Just meet us there!”

“No! Are you stupid?” I argued, not bothering to control my voice in front of my dad.

Who knows what’s out there right now.

“We’re going with or without you, Clementine. So suit yourself.”

Then that was it. He’d slammed the phone down, and left me helpless.

I turned to my dad, weighing my options.

I could tell him, then he’d involve the police and intervene with the kids plans to endanger themselves. Or I could accompany them myself, and have them still like me by the end of it.

I know what I should do.

Why don’t I tell him?

Because I’m feeling stupidly loyal to the group of boys who probably just want someone to talk to after hearing about their best friend disappearing.

“What on earth was that about?”

I don’t move for a long moment, blinking stupidly.

“Just Tommy! Carols birthday is coming up and his gift ideas are just shocking. But It’s his problem, so I’m gunna turn in.”

I yawn loudly and stretch a little more dramatically than I should have, hoping that would be enough

Luckily for me, I was allowed to make it upstairs without him following behind me.

What the hell was I doing?

I pushed all my thoughts from my head as I shrugged on my closest corduroy coat.

This is crazy, Clementine!

I cuss myself out when I open bedroom window, all too familiar. Except tonight I wasn’t climbing out to talk to a boy, or go to a party, or stay at Carols. Tonight I was meeting a bunch of kids in hopes they wouldn’t get themselves lost when I really should be telling someone about the whole situation.

But all they want is to feel like they’re doing something to help find Will…

“Oh, hell.”

By the time I reach the location they’d asked to meet at, all of them had arrived, bikes in tow. The tree line was covered with police tape. I felt my stomach drop as all four kids turned at my approach.

“What’s this all about?” I asked, arms folded lowly on my chest. “You know it’s a bad idea to be out here.”

“Exactly, yet Will is stumbling around here somewhere.”

Jesus Christ. As harsh as it is, there’s not a lot of land in Hawkins. It’s incredibly difficult to try and imagine that he’s not so far away right now.

With a sigh, I lean in close to Mike.

“So you think this is the answer? What if-“

What if he’s not out there? What if he was kidnapped?

But I couldn’t bring myself to say that to them. Mike blinks back, eyes doe-like and innocent. Mismatched with his occasional bite.

“What if nothing, Clementine. All I know is that we have to find him.”

“He’s a vital part of the party!” Lucas chipped in. I half expected Dustin to join, but he hadn’t made a peep. “We can’t let him down.”

“He’d do it for any one of us,” Mike finished.

“But if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to.”

He’s challenging me, I know it.

I hold his gaze, narrowing my eyes. If he’s bluffing about going ahead without me, his expression doesn’t betray him.

“What makes you think I won’t just go to your parents? Or the cops?”

“You’d have done it already!” Told Lucas, waving an arm to make his point.

“And you want to help Will nearly as much as we do.”

Except that’s not the reason. The best way to help Will is by letting the police do their jobs. The real reason is that I just can’t bring myself to let them down.

“Ugh, fine!” I groan, pushing myself to stand upright. “But only this one time. And that goes for all of you.”

Without a nod of confirmation from Mike he turns on his flash light, paying no heed to the on-going storm.

Dustin, on the other hand, speaks for the first time since I arrived.

“Hey, guys. You feel that?”

His head is tilted towards the sky, and he’s soon wiping his cheeks. Sure enough, it’s begun to spit with rain. The last couple of nights had all been the same. So I let myself wonder how I could be stupid enough to have worn a jacket with no hood.

“I think maybe we should go back.”

“No.” Mike told, a demanding tone to his voice. “We’re not going back. Just stay close. Come on!” Then two two were off, leaving Dustin and I behind, staring at the treeline.

I look towards Dustin, who looks nearly frozen in fear.

“Stay on channel six,” Mike instructs. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“This whole thing is stupid, Mike.” Making a last attempt to appeal, I eventually follow behind the pair, scared they’d wander a little too far away from my sight. When Dustin doesn’t take a step forward, I catch his eyes over my shoulder. “Come on, Dustin, stay close.”

And he scurries forward, dropping his bike among the rest. Then he ducks under the police tape, jogging to catch up.

God in Heaven above, we’re in so much trouble. No, I’m in so much trouble. I’m the oldest, I’m supposed to be the responsible one. But here I am, trailing along as the kids put themselves in harms way.

“You know there’s always time to turn back, don’t you? We could wait ‘til morning,” I tried, looking straight at Mike knowing he’ll answer for everyone.

He usually does.

“He could be hurt by morning!”

Mike marched ahead, flashlight shone in every direction.

I couldn’t argue. If he was safe, which I doubt, leaving it any longer would only increase the chances of him running into danger. Again, I didn’t voice these thoughts. it’s not like they’re stupid, they know as much as I do the possibilities deriving from Wills disappearance.

“And what am i supposed to do if someone jumps out from behind a tree and attacks one of you?” The scenario runs over and over in my head as the rain begins to fall heavier.

A masked kidnapper scooping one of the kids up, a crazed murderer chasing me away.

The heavier the rain became, the less sure I knew what I was hearing around me. The snap of every twig, the kicking of every rock under the kids feet, any of it could be danger in disguise.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat, speaking to Dustin between the shouting of Wills name.

“This is bad, you know. This could go so wrong, so fast.”

But instead of a reply from Dustin, I’m with with a dangerous glare from over Mikes shoulder.

He yells out for Will whose name echoes ominously around us.

“Byers!”

“I’ve got your X-men 134!” Dustin called out, letting out a shaky breath. “Guys, I really think we should turn back.”

Me and him both.

“Seriously, Dustin! You wanna be a baby, then go home already!” Lucas argues, and I don’t like the sound of it.

“Hey, no! If we’re doing something this stupid we’re staying together. We’re not sending each other off alone,” I warned.

“So no one leaves!”

This kid! Their will is greater than mine. I have no choice.

“I’m just trying to be realistic, Lucas!”

“No. You’re just being a big sissy!”

“Shut up!” I yelled above the pair. “I’ve been trying not to scare you, but have you got any idea what are you could be in these woods? And you’re attracting all this attention.”

“Case. In. Point.” Dustin continued, flashlight now beaming from tree to tree. “Did you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad?”

Like a bear, or a kidnapper or a murderer. Or a Martian.

“And now we’re following in those footsteps,” I agreed. “With only me to protect your asses!”

“Clementine, shut up!”

I look at Mike with wide eyes. “Wow!”

“Shut up, shut up…” he says now more softly.

He’s listening for something. “Do you guys hear that?”

I freeze, heart suddenly in my throat.

What are the chances it was Will Byers scuttling through the trees towards us, to safety?

The rustling is from our left!

Then our right!

And every flashlight in the group is being shone is every direction with every shake of every leaf.

But then it’s just a little too loud, and a little too close.

Four flashlights illuminate a person, and for a millisecond, I was scared.

But this wasn’t a threat.

This was a kid.

[writercole]

Manspreading

Summary: Public transportation comes with many potential hazards, including sharing a seat with someone you don't like.

Squares: Sat in their lap - spnfluff // Neighbors - Resa's 3k

Words: 2371

Warnings: Innuendo, Jake's cocky ass.

Credits: @ryebecca for the idea. @princessmisery666 for the beta and the squeal.

A/N: This was borne out of Bees complaining about riding with men on the subway. It didn't take long to figure out that it was a rivals to lovers. Gotta listen to the characters. It's their story after all.

It had been the longest day of my life. Traipsing up and down floors in LouBoutain pumps killed me, I hadn’t slept the night before, and lunch was a snickers bar. So when I walked onto my train and found that there were two empty seats beneath some jackass’s manspread legs, I snapped. 

I walked right over and sat on his lap. How I didn’t chicken out halfway there confounded me.

“Excuse me, this seat is taken,” his voice rumbled in my ear. I froze immediately. I knew that voice.

“Well, Jacob, if you weren’t manspreading across three seats, I wouldn’t have to be sitting here,” I spat, not turning to meet his eyes. 

“Come on, darlin, you knew you were just looking for an excuse to ride my thigh,” he drawled. I knew I’d see a cocky smirk on his face and refused to look at him.

Instead I shut my eyes and growled, regretting several decisions that led me here.

“Oh, that was sexy. Do it again.”

My eyes snapped open and I finally met his gaze, finding exactly the expression I expected, the one he used on female clients to get them to swoon and give him anything he wanted, a smug charm that made my stomach flip. “If you’d just move your leg, I’d be out of your hair.”

I wasn’t prepared for him to bounce his leg like  I wasn’t sitting on it , like I weighed nothing. God I hate this man. 

“I am not in the mood to play games with you, Seresin,” I grumbled. “I have had a long ass day, these heels are killing me, and I haven’t had anything but a Snickers bar and a protein shake all day.”

“Then I guess you have to let me buy you dinner.” The way he winked at me made my panties dampen and skin burn. I refused to let him know that, though.

“I’ve had enough of your insufferable face at work today, thanks.”

“Insufferable, huh? I bet I could change your mind in one night.” 

I looked him up and down and leaned in close, watching the amusement and victory in his eyes as our noses brushed. “In your dreams, asshole,” I whispered, pulling back with a satisfactory smirk at his bewildered stare.

Unfortunately for me, he recovered quickly.

“You’re in my dreams often enough, sweetheart. And believe me, I have no problem changing your mind there.” 

“Does that line actually work?” My patience was wearing very thin.

“I’ll tell you,” he promised,” Over dinner.”  

“I’m not hungry,” I shrugged. Of course at that moment my stomach decided to growl and betray me.

“You have had a protein shake and a snickers bar today,” repeated Jake, “let me buy you dinner. You can even continue to throw shade at me if you want.”

“Look, Jake,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose, “I really just want to go home, order a large pizza and curl up in my armchair with my favorite blanket and a good book.”

“Tomorrow, then,” he suggested, his tone persistent but with a hint of what sounded like hope. The train started to slow, preparing to stop at the next station. “This is my stop, darlin. Unfortunately, I’m going to need you to get your pretty face up.”

Maybe I was more lethargic than I thought because that trace of genuine hope had me a little dazed. So much so, I almost didn’t realize this was my stop too. How had I never seen him on the train before?  

“Dinner, tomorrow,” he called over his shoulder as he joined the crowd of people gathering at the doors. 

I shuffled along behind them, running through everything that had transpired since I’d boarded the train. Somehow, my main competition at work took the same train and got off at the same stop and had an answer for everything I said. 

I was lost in my thoughts when a shove came from behind me and I was pushed into the solid mass of the person in front of me. He whipped around and I was prepared to utter a stream of apologies until…

“You could have just said something, darlin, you didn’t have to run into me.” I just wanted to slap that grin off of his face.

“I was shoved.”

“That’s one way to get my attention, though.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You’re doing enough of that for me.”

“I didn’t realize you were into degradation, Seresin,” I snorted as I made my way towards the stairs.

“I could be into a lot of things for you.”

“You have the opposite effect on me. You could drive me out of things I was into,” I chirped as I tried to get away from him.

“Oh really? And what would those things be?” It was infuriating how easily he was keeping up with me.

“Haven’t thought about it.”

“Fine, but I bet you’ve thought about me naked,” he called.

“Oh no, am I really that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby,” I sassed with a roll of my eyes, something that I’d been doing quite a lot today, and sped up through a gap, leaving him behind me.

I finally reached the top of the staircase, ready to duck into the nearest shop I could find to avoid him further until I caught sight of Conner. My ex was heading my way with his arm around a beautiful, thin, perfectly proportioned blonde. Giggling. 

My eyes widened and I spun around, ready to head back into the subway, but instead found Jake cresting the top of the stairs. I grabbed his hand and pulled him close, silencing any protests when my lips met his. He hummed and his arm slid around my waist to pull me close while his other hand tangled in my hair. His tongue parted my lips expertly and he deepened the kiss, only to be interrupted by Conner calling my name. 

I gave Jake a look that screamed ‘please go with it’ as I wiped my mouth and turned. “Oh, Conner, hi,” I greeted, a little light headed. Perhaps it was the lack of sustenance, but I think it had more to do with the kiss from the man standing beside him, with a smug grin and a hand firmly on the small of my back.

“Uh, hi. You, uh, you look good,” he stuttered. His focus was on Jake by my side instead of me, instead of his date.

I guess I should have been proud. Or maybe offended?

“Who’s this, sweetheart?” Jake asked, tugging me tighter to his side.

“This is my ex-boyfriend, Conner,” I introduced, “Conner, this is Jake, my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meetcha, Conner,” Jake said, extending his hand.

Conner just looked at it and then directed his attention to me. “Moving on, huh?”

“Looks like you did the same,” I quipped, turning to the blonde. “And what’s your name?”

“Alyssa,” she squeaked as she tucked herself into Conner.

“Conner, Alyssa, it was nice meeting you both, but we’re late for our reservation,” Jake interrupted. “Come on, sweetheart.”

“Nice to see you, Con,” I shrugged as I let Jake pull me away. We walked a block before I stepped out of his grip. “Thanks for that,” I told him quietly.

“It wasn’t a problem,” dismissed Jake. “But I think you should tell me what that was about over dinner.”

I sighed heavily before responding. “Fine, but I’m buying. It’s the least I can do for assaulting you.”

“That was assaulting me?” he grinned. “Where do I sign up for you to do that again?”

I just rolled my eyes before heading towards my favorite pizza shop. He caught up quickly and we walked in silence, Jake keeping his mouth uncharacteristically shut until after our orders were placed.

“So what’s the story with Conner?” he asked quietly.

“Um, so, we dated for a year,” I started, “maybe a little longer. He kept saying things about how he couldn’t wait to move in together and how excited he was that my lease was going to be up soon and maybe we should just buy a house for when we have kids. I kept thinking I’d find feelings like his one day but it never happened. 

“Then, during the last charity gala, he proposed. Very publicly.” I paused for a drink. Jake was there at the gala. He knew what had happened from there.

“Ah, yeah. I remember that,” he chuckled. “That was you?”

“Mhmm.” 

“That was the talk of the office until…until Jerry flubbed that presentation.”

“Anyway, I threw myself into my work and started pushing hard for that promotion. I couldn’t think of any better way to prove I was fine except succeeding in my career.”

“And you have. So why the panic?” 

“I may or may not have insinuated that I could do better than him,” I admitted, avoiding his gaze. 

I had no idea why I was telling Jake all of this. It’s not like I knew him, it’s not like he cared. But when I looked up, I wasn’t met with derision and mocking, I was met with a softness and understanding. 

“I get it. You wanted to show him up. But why me?”

“I was honestly going to go hide in the crowd. I didn’t plan on kissing you. I didn’t even know I was doing it until you hummed.” Might as well stick with honesty.

“Oh, so it wasn’t because you decided to take me up on my offer to change your mind about me?” he teased, wagging his eyebrows at me across the table.

I laughed and shoved his arm, making him chuckle as well. It surprised me how easily conversation flowed between us. For the longest time, he’d been a bitter rival of mine and now, here he was, almost like we were friends.

This was a different side of the Jake I’d see around the office. He’d ditched his jacket and loosened his tie, even going so far as to roll up his sleeves. He talked about tv shows he watched and criticized my taste in movies with a teasing smile. 

He asked questions about me and my life and friends and for every detail he learned about me, he dished out one about himself. None of it surprised me until he said he’d spent time in the Navy.

“You joined the Navy right out of high school? Why?”

“Family tradition,” he shrugged. 

“So you joined the Navy because your family wanted you to, you’re in the business world because your dad forced you into a business degree. What do you do because you want to?”

“What do you do?”

“Promise not to make a joke?” I asked. I’d never had a good reaction when I revealed my hobbies.

“I will do my absolute best not to make a joke but if you tell me you’re a mime, all bets are off,” he laughed, his hands up in surrender.

“I write.”

“Why would I make a joke about you writing for a hobby?” he questioned.

“Because it’s dumb that I write stories when there are so many that I could just go read,” I explained, using the words that several people had used to devalue my likes and the way I spent my time.

“Who cares if there’s a bunch of stories you can go read? The ones you write are going to be in your own voice and reflect your own experiences,” he countered.

“Well, what do you do?”

“I draw,” he shrugged.

That surprised me. “You draw?”

“Yeah. I started in high school when I needed to escape from the insanity of the perfect world my father wanted. My art teacher said I had a talent but it never felt like something I wanted to do for other people. It was more…”

“Something you wanted to keep for yourself,” I supplied, nodding along with the words.

“Exactly!”

I checked my watch and saw that we had been in the pizza parlor for three hours. “I should probably get home. It’s getting kind of late.”

“Oh damn,” Jake exclaimed when he checked the time. “I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t have to do that, Jake,” I protested, “You were at the office before me this morning. You have to be exhausted.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” he rebutted, “but I want to walk you home.”

I paid the bill and we stepped out into the night. The streets were closer to empty than they had been all day and the temperatures had dropped enough that it was almost chilly. A shiver crept up my spine and before I’d finished shivering Jake’s jacket enveloped me. I looked up at him, seeing him in a different light, both literally and figuratively.

“What?” he questioned. “Do I have sauce on my face?”

“You’ve surprised me at every turn tonight,” I admitted with a smile.

He just hummed as we walked along, his hands in his pockets and his jacket wrapped around me. 

“This is me,” I mumbled as I drew to a stop in front of my building.

“Well, at least it’s a short walk home for me,” he quipped. I furrowed my brow and he gestured across the street. “The only dark apartment on the fourth floor.”

I looked up at my building and laughed. “Same.”

Jake joined me, his deep chuckle rumbling through the space between us. “I can’t believe we live across from each other, on the same floor.”

“Seems crazy, right?” 

“Yeah, crazy. Or maybe…” he trailed off.

“Maybe?”

“Walk you to work tomorrow?” he offered.

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t take up three seats with your manspreading,” I demanded, a slight smirk creeping onto my face.

“How am I going to get you back in my lap again?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

He nodded, his expression contorting to one of ponderance. When his gaze met mine again, he smiled and stepped closer, his hand cupping my cheek before his lips met mine, softly asking permission for a real kiss. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, melting into his warmth. He smiled softly when he pulled back, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

“I should go,” he whispered.

“Or you could stay.”

“I don’t want to rush into anything. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Progressing from dinner to breakfast seems to be moving pretty quickly buuuuut..I’ll allow it,” I giggled. “Goodnight, Jake.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

[theelvenhaven]

Anniversary Proposals

Glorfindel x Reader

2k Words

Request:  Greeting, I adore your blog and been here since the start, I want to attempt a request for the first time. Reader (fem  preferably or neutral) proposes to Glorfindel in marriage (in Gondolin), they were friends and pinning for eachother since so long but she is human with a limited life span, being anxious, she makes her mind up and does something unusual instead of waiting for him to make the move. Whether you do it or not, know that you're my fav Tolkien blog over here, thank you so much.

A/N: Hey anon! Wow how lucky am I that you have been here so long! I am so happy to still have you here with me on the blog! :) I stuck with neutral reader and I hope that is okay. But thank you so much for your continued support of my blog! It means so much to me! I hope you enjoy! &lt;3

* * * 

Today you were going to do it, finally having worked up the nerve and courage to do so. It was a beautiful and perfect day to do it finally. With the sky cloudless and Anor was shining brilliantly down into Gondolin. Making the white spires and walls sparkle and glitter under it’s light, the song birds sang and flitted overhead.

Spring was in full swing, with beautiful flowers in bloom. With trees of gray with leaves of green and silver glittering and swaying overhead. Thesound of fountains trickling met your ears, mingling with those birds and pollinators like bees and butterflies danced among Manwe’s wind. Yes today was absolutely perfect to propose.

To which you could thank Ecthelion for, for bolstering your confidence. Having grown far too impatient to wait any longer. It was either now- or at the pace Glorfindel was going- it would never happen. You would be a ripe one hundred-year-old on your deathbed before the words ever left his mouth and a ring was ever slipped onto your finger.

You loved him immensely and you understood the ravages of time didn’t work the same way for the elf that you grew to love so much. It was slow and long lasting, countless thousands of years he had to live before his fea consumed his body- as he explained to you- but you on the other hand. Your fea wouldn’t consume your body. You wouldn’t live for thousands of years let alone hundreds. 

You were mortal, you would age, grow weak and grow feeble. You would slip away from the world like so many of your ancestors had before you. It was inevitable, and you had come to terms with it, but what you weren’t coming to terms with was how long it was taking Glorfindel to propose. 

The first year you understood, it had only been a year into that relationship. It was so fresh and new; you would not have accepted if he had proposed then. The second year you were becoming more comfortable by the idea of getting married, but by the fourth year you were certainly ready for it. 

Yet Glorfindel never asked.  

Here you were on your sixth year of courting and still Glorfindel hadn’t asked for your hand in marriage. He hadn’t done anything that hinted to you that he was going to propose to you. Nothing to the effect that he wanted to spend the rest of your life together, and now you were downright impatient.  

Holding the little velvet box that held his ring if he couldn’t do it right. You weren’t afraid of the challenge, reminded daily that this forever wouldn’t be forever for you. 

There was no one else you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. What wasn’t to love about Glorfindel? He was kind, and cheerful, loving and funny. Yet just a tad forgetful about the fact that you were a mortal on occasion. This was certainly one of those occasions. 

Though he certainly didn’t forget anniversaries. 

Today marked your sixth anniversary, your seventh year being in Gondolin. Which had been a dream to be here, let alone meeting and being with your now partner. Save it felt like time was passing too quickly and your partner had yet to ask the question.

You hoped that when Glorfindel arrived that he didn’t have an inkling as to what it was you were planning, seeing as you had vented your frustrations to Ecthelion. Who, by all means, encouraged that you propose to him when the idea had left your lips, you made him promise to secrecy. Though there had been plenty of times in the past that Ecthelion had to breach those secrets, granted for good reasons of course.

Quietly you tucked the ring box back into your robe pockets as you heard hurried and quick footsteps begin to approach you on the veranda you stood on. Turning to find that it was Glorfindel who was approaching, with a bright and happy smile and a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You couldn’t help but smile as you saw him, his smile was infectious as always. Warm and captivating, you took in the sight of your handsome partner. The way his long blond hair was left long with a circlet of silver sitting atop his head. Dressed in warm earthtones of browns and greens, that were embroidered with little celandines and ivy leaves.

As always your partner quite the vision and the sight for sore eyes, and you felt your nerves only begin to grow as you realized this was the ellon that you were going to propose too. For the love of Eru you prayed for courage to be able to do so.

“Y/N, meleth nin, it is good to see you. I apologize for running so behind.” Glorfindel began keeping his cheery grin as he climbed up the steps of the veranda outstretching his arms, inviting you to step in. You didn’t hesitate to hug him at the motion of the gesture, coming to rest your head against his chest and listening to the thrumming of his heart.

“It is alright, the important this is that you are here now.” You smiled and said with warmth as you lay contently there for a moment, before finally you pulled away. Wondering if now was the right time to propose to him, yet something in your gut told you to wait before you pulled out the ring box not ready to do so just yet.

“These are for you, meleth.” Glorfindel said in a soft voice, holding out the bouquet of roses towards you, you couldn’t help but grin wider as you accepted them. Taking them from his hands and bringing yourself to bury your nose in them to smell them.

There was nothing sweeter than Eldar grown roses, and the ones that the other Edain had tried to tame and grow themselves just simply couldn’t compare. Not to mention the shade of red that these were, there breathtakingly beautiful. You hummed inhaling their sweet scent,

“Glorfindel these are beautiful.” You mused to him thoughtfully before you moved cradle them gently and look up at him, seeing that his grin was certainly still there. Gently he leaned forward to capture your lips with his. Pressing a soft kiss to you,

“Not nearly as beautiful as you are… They pale in comparison.” He hummed out softly to you and you began to blush softly at his smooth and enticing words. Keeping your happy smile, before you reached for one of his hands with your free one, to pull him along further to sit down on one of the benches near the railing.

Glorfindel was happy to tag along behind you, before sitting down with you while you set the flowers aside. Glorfindel was the first to speak,

“How would you like for us to spend our day together, Y/N?” He asked with a big smile, and you couldn’t help but wear some surprise on your face. Usually for your anniversaries the two of you dedicated a lunch and your evenings together. Not really the whole day today.

“You have today off?” You asked him still with your surprise, but quickly a smile overtook you as excitement ran through you. Glorfindel mirrored your expression as he began to nod, jostling his blond hair. The rays of Anor shining down on him, making him even more ethereal and beautiful than he already was.

Yes today would be the perfect day to propose to him, damn any societal norms that said he must do it first due to his status as Lord. You were happy to do it first and knew it would all be worth it and you couldn’t wait to see the smile on his face when you did it.

“Yes I do, it is a big anniversary even if it isn’t our twelfth yet.” Glorfindel said, and ah yes you remembered how the elves had their affinity for six. A calendar that you were still adjusting too. Six days of the Week, Six Seasons, and so on. So you supposed this was a significant anniversary,

“Well then I want to give you your surprise.” You said with a big grin, and you watched the way his eyes began to sparkle with wonder and curiosity. Wondering what exactly the surprise could possibly be.

“A surprise? For me?” He said warmly and you could hear the eagerness in his voice as he spoke. Glorfindel wasn’t one for gifts, and you knew it. But every now and again when you did something on an important occasion he was always accepting of your gifts and excited to receive them.

“Mhmm I do!” You smiled to him with a big grin, before you stood up from your seat, now was the perfect time to propose to him. You had all day to do it, but you were simply full of jittering excitement and couldn’t wait to do it. That was the premise of why you wanted to propose to begin with, was because Glorfindel was taking too long.

“Now close your eyes.” You watched as he gave you a soft smile, clearly with a little hesitation in the air, as he wasn’t usually one for long drawn out surprises. Nonetheless he did exactly as he was instructed, closing his eyes, you quietly took the ring box out of your pocket. Moving to stand in front of him before kneeling down.

Opening the ring box the two of you waited in silence for a moment as you felt your heart pounding in your chest with excitement. With nervousness and even a tinge of worry finding him as you feared that he may reject you. But you hoped that wasn’t the case, you had faith that it wouldn’t be the case.

“You can open now.” You said with a bit of a shaky breath, and watched as he fluttered his eyes open to look at you and then immediately at the ring that was in the box. A look of surprise found his face and that surprise was indiscernible, you couldn’t tell if he was excited or not. If anything you were quickly growing concerned that he was going to reject you.

“Glorfindel, will you marry me?” You asked with confidence, or tried to with confidence that was dwindling down at the fact that he wasn’t answering you and the expression hadn’t left his face. Suddenly Glorfindel stood from his place on the bench, reaching out for your hands, and gently helping you to your feet.

You felt your heart sink at the fact that he hadn’t said anything- and you were utterly worried that he was about to reject you in full. As gently as he could, you knew the rejection would hurt regardless of how sweet and gentle he was. You were fully prepared for it, and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

Debating if you even wanted to hear him reject you or if you should just leave.

Before you could make a decision did his hands come to cup your face, his thumbs stroking your cheek before he dipped his head in to kiss you.

Glorfindel’s lips melded passionately with yours, stealing the air from your lungs as he did not hold back. His hands still holding your face so tenderly, lingering for the longest moment as he kissed you. You were reeling from the intensity of his kiss, hardly knowing how to react other than to kiss him back, and try and keep up with his pace.

Finally Glorfindel pulled away resting his forehead against yours, grinning widely as he continued to cradle your face.

“Of course, I will.” He breathed out joyfully, and you found yourself grinning alongside him. Your heart soaring in your chest grateful and happy that his answer was a resounding yes! That he would marry you! Praise Eru!

“There is no one I’d rather be with than you, Y/N.” Glorfindel continued, gushing with excitement, and you felt like you could breathe again. Relieved, happy, excited.

“I love you Glorfindel.” You said to him in a soft breath, and you felt his lips press back to yours again, but only for a moment.

“And I love you too.” He answered you warmly, finally all the right things had fallen into place and you couldn’t be anymore grateful with how they were turning out to be. You couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him.

* * *

Tags: @saviorsong​@lilmelily​ @dicksoutformtl​ @fandomhoe101​ @celebrimbor-telperinquar​ @red-riding​ @miriel-estelwen​ @ta-ka-shi-ma​ @nerdysimpy​ @thegirlwithoutaname87​ @anunexpectedsideblog​ @spidergirla5​ @eunoiaastralwings​ @eternalabysss​ @noldorinpainter​

[breannasfluff]

Imagine there was a law once a year you had to kill someone else to survive and not be able to be killed that year. As a problem to overpopulation.

I hate the "Is the cup half full or half empty" thing. It doesn't help to see if I'm pessimistic or optimistic. Seeing as my view depends on how the glass was set up. If the water was poured first, it is half full. If the glass was filled completely with water, then half of it got dumped out, it is half empty. How can you say "Oh it's half empty" or "oh it's half full". Also both of those are technically correct, so why is this even a thing? You literally can't tell anything from this and I hate it.

I don't think anyone is dumb. Everyone learns differently. Just because the person is not understanding the concept, doesn't mean they are stupid or slow. That means it is not being taught in their learning style. There are like 7 different learning styles, and I know for a fact there are almost no schools that try to teach people using all of them. It's not your fault for not understanding something, sometimes it's not even the person teaching you fault. Sometimes the wording is just confusing in your brain or you need longer to process and make connections. I just hate whenever someone uses dumb as an insult. It doesn't make sense and yes there are some topics I would be "Dumb" to, but that's just because I haven't tried to learn them.

Silent letters in English are so dumb. Or words that are just not spelled like they are pronounced. Like what's the point? It just makes everything more confusing for everyone. And also the different spelling for every day thing from like British English to American English to Australian English. Like Gray? I honestly don't know how to spell it correctly where I'm from. I change the spelling every time I spell Grey. It's so dumb.

Did you know ADHD meds don't work if you have certain foods after or before you take them. Mostly foods or things with vitamin C. Just a thought.

I have no clue why I wrote this. I had ten thousand other things I could be doing. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my random thoughts and I'm sure glad for the ask anonymously feature in tumbler!

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees.

Gray with an A is how you spell it in the USA. It has the A for America. Grey is the British spelling.

[arece]

So………lolz you already expected this BUT whats readers background? How did she meet Aurelio? Layer on that angst

Seven

♤ Summary: How reader came to be. The masterlist

♤ Warnings: Implied domestic and child abuse, but no explicit details.

♤ a/n: I may be slow but I am working through these requests. I kinda like how this one turned out, back on my angst shit. (1.3k)

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

If I ever were to lose you

I’d lose-

No. 

Try- try and sometimes…

The words were slowly escaping you.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

You were sprinting as fast as your small legs allowed you to, giggling as you stared straight ahead you, could almost imagine you were flying. Slowly you rose your arms from your sides, shrieking in glee as you nearly felt yourself begin to float. 

“My bumbling little bee!” You were scooped up into the arms of a woman, her face forever blurred in a way you’d never be able to recall, but the safety she radiated would forever be imprinted in your mind. 

She let you go, hand caressing over your head. Kneeling down to your height she held you close by your arms, a nervous smile fluttering from her lips, “and how much did you collect today?” 

You brightened, digging into your little pockets and pulling out three wallets. You watched as she took them, carefully scanning through the contents of each. “Did I do good?” So eager for her praise.

“The best. Are you sure you’re not an actual pirate?” She playfully scanned you over. You giggled, shaking your head as if just the thought was so silly, “no, I was just playing!”

She scooped you back up, heading in the direction of a daunting house that suddenly turned your colourful little world into melancholy shades of gray. “Well, you had me fooled, busy bee.”

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

You sat in your room, fiddling around with your toy sword as the sun began to set. A rumbling could be heard in the distance, you stood from your spot on the floor and looked out the window. Outside was the car that held the monster, the one that always played hide and seek with you.

The woman came rushing into your room, she looked more frazzled than earlier, hair out of place and her eyes containing distress. “Come on now, bee. Time for hide and seek.” You grabbed her hand as she led you over to the slightly rotted closet, hidden by an oddly placed bookshelf.

She sat you inside, trying to get you comfortable with the mountain of blankets, pillows, books, and a flashlight you collected from your multiple games. “He’s not very good, I hide in the same place every time and he never finds me.”

The woman stopped her frantic movements, looking at you for a moment before brushing her thumb over your cheek, “and he never will.” Distantly you heard the door open with a heavy thud. She swiftly kisses your forehead before shutting you in the closet.

She claims that she’s giving you a head start. She’s really good at it because you stay here all night until he gives up in the morning.

You click on the flashlight, weary of the dark. Shattering echoes throughout the walls followed by a loud roar. You remember the times you’ve met the monster; he’d show up during the day before your game.

He didn’t like you, you made too many mistakes. You broke too many things, said the wrong things, were too loud. This is why you had to hide, you couldn’t bother the monster, couldn’t let him find you.

You hid your head under the pillows to drown out the screams, eventually able to fall asleep in your little haven.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

Out in the fields your head laid on the woman's lap. She was lost in thought while your twirled bright green blades of grass between your fingers. You plucked two, tying the ends together as you looked up at her distorted face.

“I think our house is haunted.” She blinked twice, switching to lean back on a single hand as she brought the other to poke at the tip of your nose before resting against your cheek. 

You pulled the ends too roughly, snapping it apart. The two strands were slowly carried into separate directions by the wind. “Why do you think that?”

“At night there’s lots of noises. The monster’s extra angry, that’s probably why.” You casually turned back to playing with the grass, missing the bitter sadness that tainted her expression.

She pulled you up from her lap, forcing you to face her. “You can’t tell anyone about our haunted house.” Her lips pressed together a new wave of determination settling into her disposition.

“Why?” you had naively tilted your head to the side. For the first time ever the comfort and safety you felt with her was cut, the same fear you were used to facing with the monster blossomed. 

Her expression grew wild as she slightly shook you by the shoulders, “you just can’t, cross your heart that you won’t.” You tried to move back but the grip she held onto you with wouldn’t release you.

“Okay,” you cried out, “I won’t tell anyone, cross my heart!” Suddenly she let you go and you scooted back, slightly curling in on yourself. Your eyes grew glassy and your bottom lip began to quiver.

She saw the error in her panic and immediately pulled you into a hug, brushing a hand over your head to hold you closer. She whispered profuse apologies, shushing your sniffles as you wiped at your runny nose.

“I’m sorry. I love you, my bumbling bee.” She poked at your sides, receiving a high pitched screech that melted into delighted giggles.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

For weeks you haven’t had to play your game of hide and seek. She says that the monster left and he wouldn’t be back. The house felt lighter. You enjoyed getting to sleep in your bed, her tucking you in with the melodic whispers of her lullaby. You slept that night comfortably, a doll wrapped tight in your grasp, safe in your brighter home. 

The familiar roar woke you up, immediately you buried yourself back under your blankets before remembering you weren’t in your hiding spot - he’d find you. You swiftly crawled out of bed, prepared to make a run for it before the woman bursted in, closing the door behind her and moving furniture to cover it.

“I have to go to the closet!” You yanked at her leg to get her attention. She carefully pulled you off of her before moving to a bag, placing some of your things into it. “No more hide and seek, now we only play pirates.”

She brought over a sweater, wrapping you into it tightly before securing the bag over your shoulders and handing you your doll. “What do you mean?” You asked, finally noticing her puffy eyes and angry red cuts scattered along her face.

“Today you leave the house and you never come back. You run and you be a pirate to survive - a real pirate.” Her breaths were unsteady and you could see her hands begin to shake. You grab onto the hand as she moves over to the room's window.

“What about you?” She opens the window and a gush of cold air wafts around you. “The monster’s very strong, he’ll always find us so I have to stay. You have to go, I’ve never been really good at hide and seek.”

She lifts you over the window, your feet plopping onto the ground as she helps you jump over. She kisses your forehead as she bites off a whimper, “you do what you have to and survive. Give them all hell.”

The door starts to bend underneath the weight of the monster’s banging, she looks over her shoulder before focusing back on you with a new sense of urgency. “I love you, little bee. Now go and don’t look back.”

You begin to run off, once again gliding. Behind you she mutters, “someone save my baby.” A silent prayer before accepting her fate and facing the monster behind the door.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

It’s been a few years since you’ve been playing pirate, successfully surviving off of your skill for stealing. The one time you messed up would soon turn into a blessing in disguise.

“You're pretty crafty, street rat.”

You can’t remember her face, but you remember her comfort and how she saved you. You’d carry that love she held for you forever.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

If I ever were to lose you,

I’d surely lose myself.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

Taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @tamnight  @hesvoid34 @scarletmeii @romanreignsluver1 @wi1steria @not-a-big-slay @howlerwolfmax @mizzy-pop @sarapaprikas-blog @angrykitsune01 @commanderfreethatdust @wisepizzatart

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 8, Part 1

Time to head back to Sulani. Harvey meets up with some buddies to go fishing, Carson and Kayleigh discuss his upcoming birthday and Keira visits only to be told off, Foster parent style (which means not really)

Low level content warning: Mentions of emotionally abusive ex

Harvey: Morning sugar, room for two

Kayleigh: Afraid not, besides lavender upsets your skin

Harvey: True. Got plans for today?

Kayleigh: Painting of course. I think I want to get started on the realism set. How about you Harv?

Harvey: Finally going to have a fish club meetup

Kayleigh: If you’re going to Ohan’ali Town let me know. Carson and I will come

Harvey’s current aspiration is to make 50k from selling his honey so he gets to work tending his garden. Kayleigh just wants to earn money, and the best way is by selling her paintings. Carson wakes up late and heads downstairs. He contemplates the painting of Oscar the Grouch while he eats. Carson is a recycle disciple so I imagine he probably sees him as some kind of idol.

Harvey is checking on his bees and collecting their latest honey when he’s hit by a wave of flirtyness. Guess I know where Reece gets it from.

Carson: But mum why do we have to go to the doctor

Kayleigh: It’s a mod trial, you want to be vaccinated against deadly things don’t you

Carson: Yeah I guess. I just don’t like needles

Kayleigh: *laughs in possession of many tattoos* there’s a way to get over that but best wait until you’re older

Harvey heads to Ohan’ali and checks out the fishing pier. It seems like an alright location and the sun has come out so he calls up his fishing club. Members are Bjorn and Shelly who have joined because they love fishing. James has joined for fun because he’s old and needs friends. We also have Reece who wants to be able to catch stuff in Moonwood Mill. Lastly Bob who Harvey has been trying to convince to catch his own fish to cook with.

Bob: Hey Reece, how’ve you been

Reece: Not bad Mr Pancakes

Bob: Harvey says you’re living with your boyfriend now in a house that needs TLC

Reece: *smiles* Yeah, in Moonwood Mill but-

Bob: Let me show you some pictures of my first place

Reece: Oh watcher that was a dump

Bob: You’re telling me. Look, if your parents complain about your surroundings just tell them, it can always be so much worse

James: Hey thanks for inviting me

Harvey: No problem, the more the merrier

James: I’ve been wanting to fish in Willow Creek but it’s always been cold lately

Harvey: That’s the great thing about Sulani. Never cold enough that the fish don’t bite. You missing the sun yet Reece

Reece: No Dad, I like the woods. But I haven’t caught anything proper there yet

Bob: I haven’t caught anything full stop

Harvey: You done much fishing James

James: Oh not for years. Ophelia always complained of the smell, even when I cleaned them outside, so we switched to supermarkets

Bob: I like supermarkets

Harvey: Oh come on Bob, give it a go

Bjorn: Here, I can show you how to cast out your line

Bob: I’ve already done that

Bjorn: Won’t hurt to do it properly

Carson: Mum, I’ve been thinking

Kayleigh: Yes

Carson: Well it’s BBQ day tomorrow. Can we have a family get together then-

Kayleigh: Oh yes everyone’s already invited

Carson: -and for my birthday just invite my friends

Kayleigh: You… don’t want family at your party

Carson: Well I certainly don’t want Reece

Kayleigh: Your brother-

Carson: Would just make fun of me the entire time and embarrass me in front of my friends

Kayleigh: How about your sisters though

Carson: You know if we invite them and not Reece he’ll sulk about it forever. He always gets mad at me existing

Kayleigh: Well if you read his diary-

Carson: I didn’t! He has a stupid loud voice that carries. I’m surprised we can’t hear it over here

Bob: Oh, oh, I think I got something

Bjorn: That’s it Bob, focus, reel it in nice and slow

James: Are you sure he shouldn’t reel it in fast

Bjorn: Absolutely not, the fish could go flying

James: But if he does it slow-

With a grunt Bob pulls up his catch. One magnificent log.

Bob: Fudge bars

Harvey: It’s okay Bob, we’ve all caught a branch or two

James: I must have fished up a forest in my time

Reece: All I can get in Moonwood Mill is seaweed

Harvey: Well what fish are there

Reece: Dad how would I know if I haven’t caught them

Harvey: You examine the water son

Reece: Oh hey, I got a bite! It’s…. nothing. That’s weird

Harvey: Keep trying

Reece: But seriously. I felt something. Where the heck did it go

Kayleigh: Look Carson, you only have one brother

Carson: One too many by my count

Kayleigh: And you’re only going to ever have one brother

Carson: I could always marry a mermaid with like ten trillion brothers

Kayleigh: In laws are not the same, you haven't grown up with them. He’s moved out now, you should try getting along

Carson: We went to see him for his birthday and what does he do? Use me as an arm rest, again

Kayleigh: *sighs*

Carson: Mum I just want my birthday to be about me, nothing is ever about me when I’m the youngest

Kayleigh: Okay. If it means that much, we can just have your friends for your birthday

Carson: Sweet! We made a good cowplant mum

Kyleigh: Yeah we did. Race you to the water?

Carson: Ready, set, bye! *sprints off*

Kayleigh: hold on, that’s cheating

The afternoon carries on and James finds Nemo. Bob manages to fish up some kind of chest. Don’t know what’s in it but hey, it’s better than nothing. Which is what Reece catches, nothing. Well seaweed and nothing. Harvey however catches a rare endangered Butterfly Fish and quickly throws it back in, hoping he hasn’t hurt the little guy. He also catches a Fighting Plakat which is another new fish for him.

Harvey: Carson, someone needs to set the table

Carson: Yeah, someone does

Kayleigh: Carson, do as your dad asks

Carson: Fine. But he technically didn’t ask anything. What’s for dinner dad

Harvey: Salmon maki

Carson: Can you make enough for leftovers

Harvey: May as well, there’s a ton of fish in here

Harvey finishes up and then calls the household to eat.

Keira: Hola family

Harvey: In the dining room

Keira: Yeah I can see dad

Kayleigh: Look honey, your father and I wanted to talk to you about your arrest

Keira: It wasn’t an arrest! It was a detainment… they let me go without charging me

Carson: Who charged what now

Keira: Marta’s idiot ex was being stupid so I punched him, seemed like the thing to do. We got into a tussle and when the cop showed up she detained us until she could figure out what happened

Harvey: You’re lucky Aaron could help on such short notice or it could have been worse

Carson: Idiot move. Should have knocked him out so you could talk before being whatever you were

Kayleigh: Carson, really

Carson: Mum, we're a family of fighters

Kayleigh: Maybe we shouldn’t be. No computer for a day

Carson: But normally-

Kayleigh: No computer for a day

Keira: Woah mum, where did these rules come from

Harvey: We got worried when Aaron called. Watcher knows we’ve all been arrested in our youth but you shouldn’t just attack people

Keira: He was verbally attacking Marta

Carson: He what

Keira: I was standing up for my girlfriend. Plus he knocked Joey down so I was standing up for him as well

Kayleigh: We’re not saying you shouldn’t look after those you love. But honey you should think before you punch

Kayleigh: Enough discipline though, I hate it

Carson: So do I

Kayleigh: What about your other news? You’re engaged now

Keira: Oh yeah, I asked Marta to marry me. I didn’t like to think of her alone after that whole incident. We have to move though. Liam knows we lived there so we’re thinking San Sequoia

Harvey: Two kids married or engaged, when do I get some grandkids

Kayleigh: Ignore your dad. Here. If you need a respite on the way there, we do have a spare room since Reece moved out

Following dinner Kayleigh and Keira do some painting and chat a bit more. Keira is not great at painting and Kayleigh wants to give her some tips. In the end Keira produces… some kind of art? Kayleigh on the other hand makes another masterpiece! The force is strong with this one.

Previous (Knightstone) ... Next

[pbandjesse]

I had to move my OB appointment from next week to tomorrow because I had scary high blood pressure at the rhumatologist today. So I have been feeling pretty stressed out this evening and it's very hard for me to tell if I feel sick because of stress or if something is wrong.

I had an alright day though. I would have bursts of energy and things would be okay for a lot of the morning. I slept a little better last night I guess. Though I did wake up after I had a pretty intense nightmare. And then I pulled a muscle in my side that was incredibly painful. It wasn't the worst sleep but it was not the best I've had.

When I woke up I texted James to see if they had left for the oil change appointment yet. They hadn't, so they came up to give me a hug before they headed out.

I feel really bad about this because the appointment was at 930 but they wouldn't get home until 2! It's insane that this happens every time. And we discovered today that we had to pay for the oil change?? The only reason we keep going to the dealership is because it had been free with our warranty. I guess we will find a new place going forward.

While James was gone I was trying my best to be productive. I would finish my floor mat project. Which may fit in the baby basket? Unsure about it in there be ause it's all folded on the sides but that doesn't mean there isn't a way for it to work. And I would had an apple and peanut butter for breakfast. I would lay out my larger puff quilt and start to add the stuffing. But I would only get a dozen stuffed before I started feeling to tired and had to come back upstairs.

I took a short break before putting together a mini hospital bag. Just in case stuff. Lotion, deodorant, Vaseline, chapstick. Underwear. Leggings. Socks. Sweatshirt. Charger. Nothing crazy but just things that I think would help me feel comfortable if I had to go to the hospital sooner then planned. Especially with how bad I've been feeling.

I would lay down for an hour. Just watching nonsense. I realized that my phone has been staying on my data and not switching to WiFi so I used so much that they had put me in a slow down until the end of the month. Super obnoxious that this happened. I would manually turn it off and was just a bit annoyed with myself for not being more careful.

I really wanted string cheese and was excited when James let me know that we had a brand new package in the fridge. I had two of those and some leftover stuffing for lunch. And that would give me another bit of energy to finish stuffing all of the squares of the puff quilt. I still need 4 more squares of the white yarn but 9 of the 10 rows are ready to be sewn together. I want to be able to work on that during our long drive this weekend so I would safety pin all of those squares together. I did three sets of three rows for manageability. I was very happy with this.

I came upstairs and decided to mix two of my new Burt's bees chapsticks together. I have a vanilla and a peppermint and now I have two vanilla peppermints and it's perfect. I used to do this all the time and it's just such a nice mild mix. I don't know why they don't just make it.

I cleaned that up and was hanging out waiting for James to come home. They got back here right after 2 and we basically just got back in the car and we were off for my appointment.

James would grocery shop while I was in the doctor's. The ride there kind of sucked. Bad traffic and bad drivers. But we got there and things were fine.

I am hoping I was just a bit stressed. Between the drive and the sort of uncomfortable conversation I had to have with the medical assistant (she was the one I had last time that made me bleed really bad), my blood pressure was very high. Worryingly high. She said I should call my OB. So while she went to mix my meds I would shoot them a message. About the blood pressure, the vomiting, the broken capillaries, the headaches. And within an hour they were calling me to move my appointment up. I missed the call but the voicemail seemed very concerned. The office was closed and I couldn't figure out how to get through the prompts so I sent a second message and was able to navigate moving my appointment and now it's tomorrow at 2.

And honestly since then I have been feeling really stressed and vaguely nauseous. The car ride home was not good for me. I felt sick and I think it was more I was upset. When we got back here I just wanted to lay down. I laid on James for a while, which isn't something I often do but I just really needed them. They kissed the top of my head a bunch and tried very hard to make me feel comfortable ans comforted. And it helped. Even if my belly hurts still and I had pains in my legs.

I would lay upside down with my legs on the wall and that helped. James made dinner. They didn't make my quesadilla how I wanted and I never ask them to remake stuff but I had to this time and they didn't make me feel bad but I did feel bad. I really enjoyed my second try quesadilla and I lovey husband for taking care of me.

After dinner I went in the studio to cut the yarn for September's rectangle for the temperature blanket. I had some cereal. I accidently lost the end of my yarn and James tried to help me untangle it and eventually I was able to sort it out. Glad to have that ready to go.

I hung out with James in the living room for a while. My sinuses started bugging me and I was having to turn from side to side to breathe properly. Icky.

I took a shower and it helped but it wasn't a very nice shower. The water took forever to get warm and I was just grinding my teeth to get through it. I am cozy in bed now though.

While I was in the shower I had a revelation about where I may have thought up our baby's name. It's a character from one of my favorite fictional podcasts. I don't know why it just popped into my head but it made me laugh out loud. It doesn't make me want to not use the name but man it surprises me when one of the lines from the show ran through my head with the name in it. I had to call James upstairs to tell them. They thought it was pretty funny too.

I am not feeling as bad anymore. Like I am still not comfortable. But I'm not hurting in a scary way anymore. I am just ready to sleep.

Tomorrow I'm going to camp to set up my NAFT program for Wednesday but then I'll probably just go straight to my appointment. We'll see how the day works out. I don't want to push myself to hard with how I've been feeling. It's just so I'm hard to make those calls.

I hope you are all having a good night. I hope you sleep well. Goodnight everyone. Until tomorrow.

[thebawdybaldurian]

Kinktober Day 20: Double Penetration

Nearly finished a new Modern AU scene with the Tav, Halsin, Astarion trio, but stalled on finishing the ending because I skipped my ADHD meds today, so here’s a regular old pairing of the trio post BG3 that will be published into a new story eventually.

Content and Warnings: oral sex, PIV sex, double penetration, fingering.

Pairings: Femme Tav x Halsin x Astarion

The kids fell asleep quickly due to the day’s excitement and Tav left the kitten in the upstairs bedroom as she and her husbands prepared to slip over to the cottage for some intimate time. Astarion grabbed a bottle of wine and they slowly undressed one another once they moved over to the cottage bedroom. They made out and caressed one another before climbing into bed together. “So have you both decided which hole you want?” Tav purred, sharing her mouth between their stiff cocks. “Do you want to stick with this one?”

“The honey pot?” Halsin looked at Astarion with a grin.

“That was my choice as well,” Astarion grinned back.

“I thought so,” Tav purred, snaking her tongue back and forth between their tips. “I think it has sprung a leak just thinking about it.”

“We’ve never…mmmmm…done that before,” Astarion moaned, receiving the full extent of her mouth for a moment. “Just…ahhhh…adjacent holes…”

“It will be a fun experiment to be sure,” she grinned, pausing to take a long sip of wine before moving her lips to Halsin’s cock.

“We better…uhhnnn…make sure that you’re well prepared then,” Halsin sat up when she returned her mouth to Astarion. He climbed behind her, growling loudly at the slick pink slit between her legs. “Mmmm, you are dripping,” he mewed, immediately setting to work with his tongue.

Halsin rarely went a day without tasting her honey, but never slouched on his technique. He knew exactly how much pressure she liked, when to ease off, and how to instantly push her over the edge. She stroked and sucked Astarion as best she could, pausing when Halsin’s mouth became too much and she could barely think. Astarion didn’t mind much, receiving enough pleasure from watching her face contort and her limbs tremble. “Mmmmm…fuck…oh gods!” Tav whimpered, resting her head against Astarion’s thigh after Halsin had made her come.

“Do you think she’s ready yet?” Astarion asked, stroking his fingers through her hair as she caught her breath.

“Nearly,” Halsin reappeared from behind her thighs, his beard glistening. “She’s warm…flowing…she just needs to be stretched properly.”

He let out a long moan, easing his throbbing cock inside her for the next step of their planned double penetration. “Don’t…unfff…I get a say in things?” She grunted, feeling his cock circling along her entire canal.

“Not when you constantly push yourself too hard,” Astarion cooed. “Let us take care of you for a change, hm? We want it to feel good for you too.”

“Mmmhmmmm,” she moaned, Halsin fucking her deep and slow. He worked her hips at every angle, making sure she was nice and pliable.

“Please,” she finally begged, her cunt aching from Halsin’s slow, probing strokes and Astarion’s cock twitching with need in her loose grasp.

“Your honey is certainly flowing, but I think a little more lubrication wouldn’t hurt,” Halsin finally pulled out of her, shuffling over to grab some oil from the nightstand.

“Oh…look at you,” Astarion grinned as Tav crawled up to his waist, a bead of arousal dangling from her slick lips. “You must be throbbing.”

“I am,” she whimpered, mounting him at once and bouncing furiously along his shaft, desperate to come again. “I just need it faster…”

“Not too much, honey bee,” Astarion grabbed her hips to slow her down. “Or you’ll make me come too soon…and we wouldn’t want that.”

“No,” she whined, arching her back as he reached down to rub her clit. “But I want you both so much…I really need to come again.”

“We know, little dove,” Halsin cooed, pouring a generous amount of oil into his hand as Astarion rubbed her to another quick clitoral climax. Halsin slicked the oil down his shaft and then reached between her legs. He rode his hand up Astarion’s cock as Astarion guided her hips slowly, teasing just his tip in her as Halsin stroked and oiled his shaft. Halsin slipped a few fingers inside her as Astarion moved her hips back down, making her moan loudly. “How is that?” Halsin asked as his fingers shared her warmth with Astarion’s cock. “Is that alright?”

“Gods yes!” Astarion and Tav said almost in unison, Halsin’s thick fingers already adding to the throbbing pressure of her canal.

They all giggled at the outburst, settling into a steady, wet rhythm. “Fuck…oh gods…yes!” Tav cried, writhing her hips along shaft and fingers. She gripped Astarion’s hand tightly, hanging on the precipice of a final eruption. “I’m ready for your cock!” She looked back at Halsin. “I need it!”

He nodded with a smile and they slowed again, allowing him to move into an appropriate position between Astarion’s legs. Tav leaned forward a little more, giving him a better angle to slip in from behind. “Tell me if it’s too much,” Halsin asked, keeping her spread with his fingers.

“Yeah,” she nodded, biting deeply into her lip.

Halsin squeezed himself in slowly, sharing a long, quiet groan with Astarion as their cocks slid together in a tight embrace. “Oh…” Tav squeaked, her eyes rolling back in her head and her legs starting to tremble.

“Fuck!” Astarion grunted, still holding tightly to her hand. “You’re so full, little honey bee. So tight.”

“Mmmmhmmm…I��m gonna come so hard,” she whimpered as they began slowly thrusting together. “I can’t hold it.”

“I won’t last long either,” Halsin moaned, his throbbing cock sliding against Astarion’s.

They found a slow, but steady rhythm again, the room filling with heavy breaths and moans. It was a brief, but pleasurable moment, ending prematurely due to the intensity. Tav erupted first, letting out a cry that could be heard from outside. Halsin and Astarion joined her in succession, thankful that they’d moved their coupling to the cottage. Their shared cum load seeped out with no where else to go besides her womb. “Don’t either of you dare pull out yet!” Tav panted, collapsed tightly against Astarion’s chest. She was still pulsing from climax, the contractions squeezing every drop of cum from their balls.

“I’ll stay here forever, if you like,” Halsin whispered with heavy huffs, leaning over to nuzzle behind her ear. It was the perfect sensation of their shared love, snuggled tightly inside her along with Astarion.

“I could fall asleep like this,” Astarion grinned, threading his fingers through both of their hair. “I can’t believe we hadn’t tried this yet!”

“I’m so full of cum,” Tav giggled. “I can almost taste it.”

“We fit so well together…even like this,” Halsin kissed them both, slowly rolling to the side once her climax had finally concluded.

She lay slack against Astarion’s torso, feeling all her muscles relaxing as he slipped out of her as well. “That can’t be a nightly thing…but that is definitely going into our regular routine,” she let out a happy sigh.

“Definitely,” Astarion rolled her slightly on their sides, nestling her between Halsin and himself.

[blysse-and-blunder]

In lieu of a making a comeback

11:45pm Sunday, June 18, 2023

Went through my drafts folder today, scrolling quickly past all the posts I’ve saved for when I’ve finally finished succession and found that the last time I drafted a commonplace book post was back in early May? I may post that one later—it’s a bit of a time capsule now, and isn’t even fully finished (hence why I saved it rather than posting). but rather than wait for perfection—my lesson of the year it seems—I’ll dash off a short one here. for my own entertainment, which of course is the point.

[no read more on mobile; scroll or press J to skip]

Reading just started victoria goddard’s bee sting cake, the second book in the greenwing & dart series. jemis’ narrative voice sounds a little too much like fitzroy’s — exacerbating my prejudice against first-person narration where the pov character just kinda sounds like the author’s mouthpiece—but seeing more of ragnor bella, this area of the twelve kingdoms, these references to the Interim and the Last Emperor, remains delightful. Also about 80% of the way through ursula k. le guin’s a wizard of earthsea for the very first time, which has been a slow because I’m absolutely savoring it. one of those books that feels like it’s in conversation with Tolkien but goes about ‘let’s make magic literary’ in a totally different way.

watching the aforementioned succession. @hematiterings and I were doing a rewatch (for me; her first time) and we have now gotten up to season 4 episode 3, You Know the One, which means that there’s only one more episode before I’m in new territory. it’s been a really rewarding rewatch, even as I’ve been doing laptop work the whole time—I’m understanding characters’ relationships and the stakes of different decisions and events so much better than I did the first time.

listening for some reason this week and last I have not been able to get enough of Hildegard von Blingen’s bardcore covers. Specifically the cover of taylor swift’s willow, which is not a song I knew, cared about, or really even noticed before now? But it the bardcore cover elevates it so well? hildegard’s voice is so lovely? one of those sopranos I usually don’t quite believe are real—just a pleasure to listen to. bad romance and holding out for a hero have been on repeat as well, and pumped up kicks (buskin boots!) is so much more interesting than the original, but willow has been the one I actively searched by name.

playing d+d campaign one tonight for the first time since FEBRUARY. it was good! we laughed! R tried to seduce a jaguar! we might be starting a schism in a fantasy meso-american religion or possibly playing the ball game to avoid that! we won’t be able to play again until late July, early august! The real boss fight is—has always been—scheduling.

making look at this dining room chair I glued back together.

No after pictures yet but it was clamped for a few days and has now been back in use with no ill effects since…gosh, last weekend? so we’ll count that as a win.

working on between finishing my most recent slog of grading (32 review assignments, which I spent waaaaaay too long on out of an anxiety of needin to help them revise for their final portfolios) and the next round of grading (final exams for 385 are due…thursday, possibly? and portfolios Friday, though I expect I get many either late or with extension requests, my fault entirely), I think I have to write at least one job app for June 30 and. maybe try to slap some new stuff into ch 2. or conference paper? hm.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 29th January

Elvis isn't quite the person I've posted most about (Frankie Laine still currently has that honour, I think?) but he's getting there. And after today, he's gonna be two songs closer! Which is fair enough, because he really is the biggest name we've met so far, on our travels. I can think of a few I think rival him, but not at this point in time.

One Night - Elvis Presley (double A-side, peaked at Number 1)

Well, this is a real bluesy song. Elvis sounds tormented, throughout, desperate, hanging on the title line just a fraction of a second longer than you expect. There's an earnestness to it, lots of bold, emotional lines about how you can just call my name / And I'll be by your side, and about how life without you / Has been too lonely too long. Elvis is pining, simple as that, singing about how he's led a quiet, unremarkable life, he just wants this one thing: one night with you / Is what I'm now playing for / All things that we two could plan / Would make my dreams come true.

It's heady stuff, and backed up wonderfully by this heavy blues guitar, deep and steadily plodding along. It's like the moody predictability of Elvis' lonely but well-behaved life has turned into this chugging, emphatic sound. It works stunningly well, and makes it all the more effective on the "too lonely too long" line, where it all cuts away, leaving just Elvis' impassioned voice for a brief, shining moment. And he delivers a hell of a performance here - it's some of his rawest-sounding stuff yet, without ever sounding wild or uncontrolled, big where it needs to be, small where it needs to be, and without any of the goof or cheesiness that Elvis sometimes has. This is very good stuff.

It wasn't originally an Elvis song - the song was apparently originated two years previously by one Smiley Lewis, a black R&B musician from New Orleans, who had this signature slow rocking style that you can absolutely hear here. Except his version was called One Night of Sin, and lines about how one night of sin / Is what I'm now paying for. Racy stuff! I guess in this telling, the story is less about a man pining for his love, and more about a man regretting sleeping with her unwisely but still pining after her? Honestly, it feels like quite a different story - a much messier, morally greyer one.

Not that there's not a touch of innuendo to a whole song about Elvis singing, with maximum passion, about how he simply wants one night with you. It's already a sexy song. So yeah, I'm not surprised that Elvis didn't want to be linked to anything any more suggestive that this already was. And the lyrical change is satisfyingly neat - whoever came up with the amended line muist have been proud!

I Got Stung - Elvis Presley (double A-side, 1)

Holy smokes, land sakes alive! So this is where all the spare cheese that Elvis had left over from the rather more serious One Night went. This song is maximum goof, all silliness. Thankfully, this is a mode that Elvis can do pretty well - there's a charm to him that lets him get away with lyrics like that rather clunky opener. Not that I'm entirely sure what "land sakes alive" means. I thought it was "snakes alive" for the longest time, honestly.

Anyway, it's mostly there just to preface a song that centres on one solid metaphor - Elvis is in love, and it's likened to a bee sting. Hence lines about how I got stung be a sweet honey bee, about how she started buzzin' in my ear, buzzin' in my brain, or about how if he lives to 102, I'll be buzzin' round your hive every day at five / But I'm never gonna leave once I arrive.

The latter doesn't actually make any sense, when you think about it. If he doesn't leave, how's he arriving at five. And is this set-up one where 102-year old Elvis lives elsewhere and just comes to visit his lover? That sounds... weird, for such a marriage-obsessed era. I'm also not entirely sold on lyrics about how you give me just one little peck on the back of my neck, because "peck" is a bird word, not a bee word. And while it's also a word for a kiss, who kisses their love on the back of their neck. And then it makes Elvis break out in a cold, cold sweat, which is definitely not a beesting symptom, unless he's talking about anaphylaxis? In which case, get yourself to a hospital, dude! And there are a whole lot of other lyrics here that don't really work. It just feels a bit sloppier, a bit less carefully worded. Which is a shame.

Still, it's a bouncy, goofy song, at the end of the day. We're here for Elvis' cheeky little aha-he-ha, yeah interjections, the pacy piano backing, and what's almost certainly the best bit of the song, the little bits where the backing singers go oooh-oooh and there's a little pause while somebody bangs on the body of the guitar that's accompanying them. It's a small touch, but if you listen to the song, it jumps out as just this fun, cool sound. It's catchy, and it leaves you with a spring in your step, and Elvis is giving it just as much welly as he is in more serious songs like One Night. Which is fun. I can definitely see why the songs were packaged as a double A-side, because you absolutely get something for everyone and for all occasions, between the two songs!

As I Love You - Shirley Bassey (1)

Oh, and Shirley's back, too. This song has a delightfully dated vibe. The intro, in particular, sounds like something you might see being used as the theme song to something on the BBC in the 1960s, to me - I can't quite place my finger on what it is. Perhaps it's the audio quality, perhaps it's the vibes layered over the top, perhaps it's the cheery big band stylings. Weirdly, it feels like a 1960s sound, to me, though, which actually makes it a little ahead of its time for 1959. Honestly, I could even see the Beatles doing a banger cover of something like this - or perhaps the tune in the intro just reminds me of a specific pre-existing Beatles riff. Again, though, I can't remember which. Grrrr.

Anyway, back to the song we actually have. It's a big ballad, and Shirley's on top form, her voice warm and inviting, soaring and belting to match her big band backing, then falling away to give the title line a bit of soulful tenderness, trailing off and holding back the final word of the line as she fades out at the end, so as to finish on a repeated line about how every kiss seems warmer and better as I love you more and more and... I don't know, it looks weird written out, but trust me, in audio form it feels like a classy touch.

The whole song's softly romantic, and I genuinely really like it, as a song focussed on the experience of being in love and staying in love long-term, and how Shirley's love is just getting stronger. It's not a song about the fireworks of first love, it's about how I will love you as I love you, all my life, and about Every moment spent with you makes me more content with you. And that's the dream, right? It's sweet. It's romantic. It's what Elvis actually meant when he sang about hanging rought until he's 102. It's the happy ending, after the film finishes, the gold-toned montage they play over the end credits. Or if it's not, it should be!

And this was actually used in a film, The Big Beat. Except weirdly, it's apparently a film about a young man who is trying to persuade his record exec father to sign more rock and roll acts. Which is only interesting insofar as this is pointedly not a rock and roll style song, though it's also not really old-fashioned enough to exemplify the sort of old, "fuddy-duddy" music that his dad presumably is still trying to produce. So I'm not sure how this would have been used....

Honestly, I can't find much information on the film - it seems to not be very available nowadays, and all the musical artists featured are very much unknown quantities to me. Charlie Barnet, anybody? Buddy Bregman? Alan Copeland? Jeri Southern? The Del-Vikings? (Side note: I wish I'd heard of the Del-Vikings, they sound rad!)

I like all three songs today, and I appreciate that they all gave me entirely different tones and moods. We've had hopeless, slightly suggestive yearning, the goofy joy of realising you're in love and being silly about it, and then the warm contentment of continuing to be in love for potentially years. All worthy contenders. Only one of them made it into my regular Liked Songs list, though.

Favourite song of the bunch: One Night