#it’s a complicated Russian novel

[dolokhoded]

hi sorry for bugging you, but i love your peanuts art! also do you have any random peanuts headcanons? i’d love to hear them

but of COURSE !!! here's a bunch of them.

schroeder has autism, that's pretty standard i've seen a lot of people say it, but it's the realest headcanon ever. best autism rep schroeder peanuts.

also marcie has adhd. that one has no basis i just decided it

the whole gang declared some random day snoopy's birthday when they were little and they celebrate is every year even when they're older. it's not even his real birthday. but he gets presents from everyone so it's okay.

(charlie brown probably knows his real birthday too he just didn't bother)

violet is aromantic and randomly came out to schroeder at senior prom and then she was just like. "this conversation never happened btw."

(semi-came out anyways. she didn't really have a term for it but you get it)

lucy really likes to sing ! she's not like aspiring to be a singer or anything but she enjoys it and she's pretty decent at it

rerun and lucy argue a lot more than linus and lucy did once he grows up a little. of course it's just a sibling thing and they really love each other but just like

in my brain, linus is like maybe 2 or 3 years younger than lucy and rerun is about 5 or 6. so imagine that when lucy is at the end of high school and really getting serious and working hard because you bet my girl has ambitions

rerun is a tween. have you ever met the unbridled chaos and horror that is a tween boy.

he's definitely the problem van pelt child. but he's great we like him

i <3 the van pelt siblings

ooh this is such a cliche but schroeder was lucy's emergency prom date. y'know that trope in literally every teen media ever that i never really got until derry girls

lucy's asshole boyfriend broke up with her like. an hour before prom because he was in love with another girl

(this guy's not a Complete Asshole in my brain he was just. In A Situation too. i dont know why i've given him so much thought but he has redeemable qualities, his relationship with lucy was pretty decent before that happened and he was TRYING HIS BEST OK !!!)

and lucy completely Loses it because 1) her boyfriend was in love with another girl the entire time 2) she has no date anymore 3) she cant show her face to prom alone after this that's EMBARASSING LINUS 4) she really just wanted to go to prom

so linus sees all of this going down and he rings schroeder and he's like hey schroeder what's good

and schroeder bolts to their house. in astronomical speed. then acts like he's totally chill about it he's just trying to help out his friend

tee hee i care them

this was not supposed to be that long but then i started rambling about their senior prom anyways that's all thank u for the ask bye

[limelocked]

i think most medias greatest sin is being boring, they can be about the most criminal and immoral shit ever but as long as its compelling it can be forgiven easily

this is the case for everything but the untamed which has too many characters

[thalassous]

did you know theres history?

[glitteringpoet1685]

It's so funny to me that Pathologic classic has been retroactively labelled as a walking simulator on steam bc like yeah technically it is I guess, but imagine looking for your typical short and sweet, low stress, story focused walking sim game and ending up in the 60+ hour, occasionally rage inducing, "it's a complicated Russian novel" plague game where people frequently throw knives directly into your skull with impeccable aim.

[dangermousie]

The best cdrama you probably haven't watched - Tribes and Empires Storm of Prophecy

Most of my airing cdramas are ending within the week and unless we get a lot of other good replacements, it means time to rewatch a favorite.

And this favorite? The sprawling, epic fantasy Tribes and Empires Storm of Prophecy. Tribes has a huge cast (one of criticisms I've seen leveled at it - but that is why I love it; it's epic in every sense of the world), but it centers around three very different men - Shaofeng Heye (Zhou Yiwei), a son of a murdered barbarian chief who will eventually lead the rebellion that tries to topple the empire, Muyun Sheng (Huang Xuan), a disregarded prince who is half-fae and whose mother was supposedly the emperor's great love who he mourns (the truth is so much darker and more complicated) and Muru Hanjiang (Shawn Dou), the cursed son of the chief general who was abandoned to live on the street due to prophecy. Sometimes they are allies, sometimes enemies, sometimes both at once.

Despite the huge budget, it was not a hit either in China or internationally - people complained about the slow pace, the large cast and the lack of ending (the drama is 70+ eps and tells only half the story.) I loved every second of it. I grew up reading Russian novels which were also sprawling, with a huge cast, deliberate pace and often lack of resolution at the end. Perhaps that is why the one audience where I think it was a hit was the Russian-speaking cdrama fandom (all the MVs I can find, btw, are made by Russian speakers.)

(The above is a gorgeous general MV)

Why do I love it? Other than the amazing visuals (it's directed by Cao Dun, all of whose dramas are genuinely stunning looking), there is the fact that it really feels like a window in a whole other world - epic and a little alien, complex, full of horror and beauty.

And there are the characters and the narrative. Because this drama does not hurry, it's not only the mains who get fleshed out - secondary and even tertiary characters are fully-fledged. Two of my favorite characters are emperor and empress - two intense monsters locked in an emotional cage with each other, clawing at others and themselves, as bystanders die.

This is a dark dark world - made before the censorship tightening up, there is none of that "tireless emperor ceaselessly working for the people" nonsense or even other character spouting about working for the greater good. The emperor and most of the imperial family are monsters, grasping for power, lives of people as ants to them. Some characters do have ideals but they are not glib or easy or fit within modern parameters. This is a narrative that starts with Shaofeng Heye's entire tribe being wiped out because of an act of kindness by a boy (and his tribe and other tribes are locked into a life death struggle for resources perpetually.) Blind loyalty to the crown is not viewed as a virtue - Muru Hanjiang's father is a monster for throwing his infant to die due to a prophecy that states he's a threat to the throne.

(another general MV)

Also, me being me, there are ships. There are a bunch, but my favorite is Muru Hanjiang x Su Yuning. She's a minor noblewoman picked to be a crown princess because her horoscope says that whoever she marries will be the ruler (interestingly, MHJ's prophecy that upended his life is that he will end the rule of the Muyun dynasty - clearly they are meant to marry at some point, heh) and she has no choice about it. Their love is glorious and largely unspoken and kinda doomed; the way the drama ends with her ditching literally EVERYTHING and following him and his clan to horrifying exile that might result in death (and even as he still tries to drive her away to protect her, she knows what he's doing and vows to wait for him) is glorious.

This MV for them is amazing:

I also loved Shaofeng Heye and Princess Muyun Yan Shuang. Not functional in the least but so hot!

(The third main OTP of the prince x spirit, I liked but not as much as these two.)

Anyway, this is my next rewatch.

[indigostudies]

What are those apps you usually post in your productivity updates?

hi! here's a breakdown of apps i use, as well as websites and other resources i've used/use for my learning (mainly chinese, though some of these resources can be used for other languages as well).

apps i use every day:

dot languages: this is a chinese-specific app where you select your hsk level, and then read articles at that level. there's a pop-up dictionary, an option to show pinyin, post-article vocab practice (audio, matching, translation, and writing), and the option to have your articles either in simplified or traditional.

TOFU learn: a blend between flashcards and writing, you can find decks for various things, including hsk level-specific decks, and you learn new vocab with the stroke order and then write each new term three times—once with an overlay (so the term is visible), and then two times from memory. there's also a review function, which helps you practice terms you've already learnt, and each term has audio that goes with it. i use it for chinese, but there's decks for esperanto, french, german, italian, japanese, korean, norweigian, portuguese, russian, spanish, swedish, and turkish.

the pleco dictionary app: my favourite chinese dictionary app; allows you to translate from english to chinese or chinese to english, has options for writing, radical, vocal, and keyboard entry, and has both traditional and simplified characters.

ankiapp: this one's not particularly complicated; it's a flashcard app, where you can make your own decks or download decks other people have made. it uses a spaced repetition system to help you remember terms—you rate yourself from worst to best on how well you remembered the term, and that determines how many times it'll pop up afterwards. it also gives you an overall grade for each deck, which is a nice way to measure your progress.

duolingo: probably my least favourite of all of the apps i use; the chinese course isn't the best, and now that they've removed the notes/grammar information option, there's no way for people who aren't already fairly familiar with the language and its inner workings to learn them if they exclusively use duolingo. it's okay for maintenance practice, though, but i'm already almost finished with the entire course and i would say it barely reaches to lower hsk 4, so i wouldn't say it's a good tool if you're more advanced.

apps i have but use less often:

readibu: this is sort of like dot in that it's an app for reading in chinese with a pop-up dictionary. however, that's where the similarities end; readibu has novels, short stories, and articles aimed at children, and each of those are further split into genres. readibu also lets you add your own web-pages and read them on the app, so you can use its pop-up dictionary with them. it's aimed more to intermediate and upper intermediate learners, with hsk levels ranging from hsk 4 to hsk 6. the only reason i rate dot above readibu is because dot has a larger range of levels (hsk 1 through hsk 6 i believe? but it may go higher) and exercises built in to help you learn the vocab.

the chairman's bao: also a chinese reading app, though if you use the free version, you only get one sample article per hsk level (hsk 1 - hsk 6). i believe that every so often you get a new sample article for each level, but i'm not sure what the interval on that is. it also has a pop-up dictionary and a flashcard option for saved vocab.

du chinese: another chinese reading app; it has articles divided into newbie through master (six levels in total, though they don't line up perfectly with the hsk in my experience), and new articles are free for a certain period of time before becoming locked behind a paywall. there's a pop-up dictionary and a vocab review/test option for vocab you save.

memrise: flashcards with audio, depending on whether you're using an official course or a user-generated deck. decent, but it can get repetitive.

hellotalk: not exclusively chinese, but i believe it started off mainly aimed that way. you set your language, and then your target language, and then you can talk to native speakers who have your language as their target language. potentially incredibly useful, but if you're like me and extremely introverted you may have a hard time using this app, since it requires a lot of one-on-one interaction.

slowly: i haven't actually gotten around to using this, but it's sort of like a digital penpal app, as i understand it. you can learn more about it here.

websites and other miscellanea:

this massive mega drive by @salvadorbonaparte (languages, linguistics, translation studies, and more).

this masterpost by @loveletter2you (linguistics, languages, and language learning books/textbooks).

this masterpost on chinese minority literature by @zaobitouguang

the integrated chinese textbooks by cheng and tsui, which are the textbooks i use for self-study—there's textbooks and workbooks, as well as character workbooks (though these can easily be cut out without suffering from the loss).

mandarinbean: graded readers, hsk 1 - hsk 6, with a pop-up dictionary and the option to read in traditional or simplified

chinese reading practice: reading, beginner through advanced (three levels), with a pop-up dictionary and some additional notes included on vocab and language-specific things non-native speakers might struggle with or not know.

hsk reading: graded readers, hsk 1 - hsk 6, divided into three sections (beginner, intermediate, advanced). does not have a pop-up dictionary, but does have an option to translate the text, post-reading quizzes, and notes on important vocab with example sentences.

my chinese reading: reading from beginner to advanced (four levels); has a pop-up dictionary, the option to play an audio recording of the passage you're reading, notes on key words, things that are difficult to translate, grammar, and post-reading comprehension questions.

the heavenly path notion website, which i would say is one of the best resources i've ever found, with a massive number of guides, lists of chinese media in a variety of forms, and general resources.

chinese character stroke order dictionary: what it says on the tin; will show you the stroke order for a given character.

hanzigrids: allows you to generate your own character worksheets. i use this very frequently, and can recommend it. the only downside is if you want to create multiple pages at once, you have to pay; however this can easily be circumnavigated by creating only one sheet at a time. you can download the sheet as a pdf and print it out for personal use.

21st century chinese poety: a resource i only came across recently; has a massive collection of contemporary chinese poetry, including translations; much more approachable than classical poetry, which can often be incredibly dense and hard to parse due to the writing style.

zhongwen pop-up dictionary: if you're reading something in chinese on a website that doesn't have a pop-up dictionary, this is a must. i've never encountered any words that it doesn't have a translation for so far, including colloquialisms/slang. i use it to read webnovels, and it's been a fantastic tool. you can also save vocab by hitting the r key when you're hovering over a word/phrase, making it easy to go back and add terms to your flashcard deck(s).

chinese reading world: a website put together by the university of iowa; split into three levels (beginner, intermediate, and advanced), with thirty units per level, and ten modules per unit, as well as multiple proficiency tests per level. each module is split into three parts: a pre-reading vocab quiz, the reading with a number of comprehension questions based on it, and a post-vocab reading quiz. it also rates you in relation to someone with a native proficiency based on how quickly you read and answer the comprehension questions, and how many vocab questions you get right.

jiaoyu baike: an extensive chinese-to-chinese dictionary, put out by the taiwanese ministry of education. you can find an extensive write-up on it here, by @linghxr.

social media etc: see this post by @rongzhi.

qianpian: another chinese-to-chinese dictionary; @ruhua-langblr has a write-up on it here.

this writeup on zero to hero by @meichenxi; initially aimed at chinese learning, but now has expanded greatly.

music rec's: this masterpost by @linghxr.

tv/film: youtube is a great place to find chinese tv shows and films, and they often have english subtitles. if you can't find something on there, though, you can probably find it either on iqiyi or asianvote, which have both chinese and other asian shows and films (though you'll want an adblock if you're going to use the latter). i use these a lot to watch things, and have discovered a lot of media through these, and then novels through those when i went searching to see what they were adapted from.

polylogger: a website for logging the amount of time/type of language study you do. has a wide variety of languages, and the option to follow other people. still, it's a fairly basic site.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

its been itching my brain for a while so if you could please give me something to chew on—do you have any headcanon's for A, like what he (she?) might've behaved like or looked like? I'm really just asking for a nice sandwich and I love the ones you've made (Alphard) and would appreciate another

That time @therealvinelle and I made a character out of fucking nothing.

I assume you mean A from the Death Note universe? Sorry, I've got nothing for you.

The thing about what @therealvinelle and I did with Alphard, and why it worked, was the single solitary detail we did get, along with a few others, paints an incredibly detailed picture to work with.

I only have about five things on hand, but good god, do I get to see that man's entire fucking life.

We just don't have the same for A.

What We Know About A

A is introduced in Death Note: LABB, for those super Death Note nerds who read the novel like I did. There's no mention of either A or B in the manga or in the anime.

A and B were the first gen successors to L, before Mello and Near, and the premise of the novel is that "wow, that successor program was a really shitty idea even before it was a shitty idea!" in that of the two a) A couldn't handle the pressure and killed themselves b) B couldn't handle the pressure and turned himself into a physical clone of L, then sought to make a case so complicated L couldn't solve it, culminating with lighting himself on fire. The great irony being L had so little interest in dealing with it himself, he makes Naomi Misora do all the work/all the talking to 'Ryuzaki' without supplying any pertinent information or saying anything more than "uh huh, wow, such detective, such good, Misora" and only at the end admitting, "yeah, that wasn't me, that was my rampaging successor, but good job catching him."

A is years dead before the novel begins, and gets a one-off mention by our totally unbiased narrator Mello, totally, as being B's rival for the position of successor who at some point before it could be decided killed himself.

But let's try to bullet point it.

A Was Chosen: Nationality

First, we know A is at Wammy's.

We don't know exactly how Watari/Roger recruits for Wammy's, how you are selected to enter the 'successor' program, or even the scope of just where they draw successors from.

(I don't have vol 13 on hand at the moment, but I believe it only went into the ethnicity breakdown for L, not even nationality, and it's...

When asked about L's ethnicity, creator of the series Tsugumi Ohba responded, "I think of him as a quarter Japanese, a quarter English, a quarter Russian, a quarter French or Italian, like that." Ohba said that L is the most intelligent character in the entire Death Note series because "the plot requires it." He added that he personally views L as "slightly evil." - from the wiki

Rock on Ohba, rock on with your.... "quarter Russian, Japanese, French/Italian, English".

I also love "slightly evil" from a man who has multiple "torture X character" arcs.)

Given we only see four characters who went through some variation of this program in the manga/anime (L, Near, Mello, and if we even count him Matt), it's really hard to judge. We know Beyond Birthday, by the time he meets Naomi, looks similar enough to L that the entire premise of the book is "oh wow, that's totally L and Naomi doesn't know, oh wow he's doing all the things you--TOTAL SHOCK IT WASN'T L AT ALL"

But if we have to choose, and we have to do this in a way that fucking makes sense given how borders work and that "no, Roger, you can't just take random orphans from any country you like and stick them in your Batman orphanage" then A is either from Britain, maybe Ireland, or if we're really stretching things maybe Western Europe.

Other places are possible, and they could bullshit their way in getting A to England, but there's also the fact that A is chosen for this program. It's unclear just how much searching Wammy's does for talented orphans who will fit the role of L (having the level of intelligence Watari and co. are looking for, the drive and desire, and being the world's most super genius to recreate the success of L).

Now, the manga/anime implies that they had very high standards. L is the greatest detective in the world, Near as his number one successor to is eventually able to defeat Light and is an extreme deductive genius.

If you want to play that game, you can't just use the orphans that happened to be in your orphanage to start with. You have to look for them and either a) wander around orphanages/newly orphaned children and test them for their suitability b) pick up orphans that they've heard of who have nationally/internationally been so impressive they meet the criteria.

Now the thing about b is that doesn't happen often (and probably not at the impressionable ages that Wammy's needs to both a) give the orphan the training b) convince a near adult "YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BECOME BATMAN WOULDN'T THAT BE SUPER COOL?!")

...

To sum this up, A is probably from Britain, maybe Ireland.

A Was Chosen: Age

Alright, A was selected, as gone in above from what we see of Mello, Near, and Matt, they got roped into this when they were very young. They're very young appearing AFTER the six-year time skip when they've been doing this long enough that a) this is their major goal in life and the only thing they can think of b) they have an intense and bitter rivalry c) Matt has already been weeded out. L, too, we have a brief image of him as a six-year-old or so (possibly metaphorical), implying he and Watari have been doing this for... a while, and that L was set on this path very early in life.

Both A and B were very likely young children when they started this program in earnest. Personally, if I had to write a fic... I'd say ten at most.

Now, this doesn't tell us much about when A dies, but we know that B is an adult man by LABB, Naomi never remarks upon him looking like a teenager. We also know he's able to impersonate L, and more (and this is important), the L we see in canon.

The entire L gimmick of the book is that we, the readers, are given the impression this is L (except for the weird eyes, that's weird). It's important that this isn't necessarily L at the time, but what we the readers would recognize him as years later during the Kira case. We, in canon, see L in his mid 20's. This means that B in the novel was at least passing as in his mid 20's. Could be he's younger, could be he's older, but what it does mean that A, if at a similar age only either reached a) very young adulthood b) teens.

Personally, given the pressure, the suicide, and the fact that the rivalry had been bitterly ongoing at that point, I'd say A was likely a mid/late teenager when they killed themselves.

A Was Chosen: Intelligence

A must have been good enough at whatever tests Wammy's did to gauge whether they had an initial aptitude for becoming an L candidate.

Now, we've seen the types of things Near is good at and that are heavily implied put him above Mello. Near is very good at intelligence tests, puzzles, and so on.

It's not unlikely that A was tested with very similar things and that A must have reached some threshold to be considered a promising candidate in the first place.

A Was Chosen: AMAB

Now, this one's more headcanon, but I go into this here. I think, either through overt or unintended bias, Watari/Roger would gravitate towards selecting AMAB individuals as opposed to AFAB.

I don't think A would be an exception.

Also, Viz translated the gender into English as "he", so take that as you will.

The Eternal Prince/Eternal Rivalry

Now, the trouble with A and B, being so early in, is that L was a very young man at the time and either not much older than they were or even younger.

L had already by this point reached international acclaim as the detective L, continued to gather for himself detective personas surrendered by rivals, and was showing no signs of stopping or slowing down.

So, how exactly are A and B supposed to become L? Either they somehow prove they're better than him, when he has the benefit of a) experience in the field b) connections with law enforcement and a working relationship with Watari c) all the resources in the world or L miraculously dies.

Not to mention we know, canonically, that L is vicious and would tolerate no competition for his title.

Mello notes this himself (though is a... biased... narrator) that the first gen were throwaways, they were the trial training run for the REAL successors, Mello and Near.

Regardless of what Mello thinks, the fact remains that A and B were both aware that to be L themselves, L had to go, which showed no signs of happening.

Not to mention they're still infighting with each other, quite viciously, so that they can at least be next in line.

Not only is this a tremendous amount of pressure, but it's utterly pointless pressure.

B was the type of person to react to this with a "FUCK YOU DAD", in that he tried to make a case L couldn't solve to finally prove he was superior to all of them.

A, for this or perhaps other reasons, killed themselves. We don't know if this was the sole reason, but it would certainly be a large factor.

TL;DR

A was likely born or at least orphaned in Britain, A was young when chosen and young when they died, A was likely good at logic puzzles/intelligence exams at a young age, A was highly likely to be AMAB, and was in a doomed competition where their entire self-worth/point of their existence hinged on a pointless struggle that neither they nor B could ever conceivably live.

But considering, that's really not much/what you were asking for.

[whilereadingandwalking]

This intensely autobiographical novel is all about a lesbian, Russian poet setting out to bury her mother's ashes in Siberia after her death from cancer. It deals with queerness, grief, and death.

Wound by Oksana Vasyakina, translated by Elina Alter, is often unnecessarily dense and scattered, which the narrator herself acknowledges. The intrusions of poetry and essay didn't really add that much to the text, in my opinion, and the story can become overly complicated, the timeline confused in unnecessary ways. But the memoir piece made it well worth reading and finishing. The poet's mother was a complicated person with a difficult life, and their relationship was detached yet also deeply intense. The narrator struggles through her own feelings about their relationship, her mother's death, the task set before her to carry her mother's ashes, and her existence as a lesbian and how her romantic and sexual life was impacted by her childhood and upbringing. It is interesting and a fascinating look into modern Russia and the inner turmoil of a young poet.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Out now in paperback from Catapult.

Content warnings for anxiety/depression, grief, parental death, terminal illness, themes of sexual assault, substance abuse, homophobia, domestic abuse.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

2025 TBR 📚

thank you @evilovesyou for tagging me! loved your post, lots to discover there...

BOOKS THAT ARE CURRENTLY ON MY NIGHTSTAND

shuggie bain - douglas stuart

i'm about halfway through this novel that i've been dying to read for a while now. i read young mungo, stuart's second novel, last year and it was an instant favorite of mine. and now i am absolutely devouring this one. it's set in glasgow, following the life of shuggie as he grows up with a mother that struggles very heavily with alcoholism. the hard life, described with love, without looking away from all the ugly parts, is what captivates me.

ulysses - james joyce

it is a huge goal in life to finish ulysses. i started a while ago (like.. 1,5 years ago) and now i'm about 1/3rd of the way through. i really enjoy it, but i don't have the proper brain for it every night. i know i will finish it eventually, because when i do have the right brain, i enjoy it a lot

after the revolution - robert evans

this is on my phone, for when i'm on the go and didn't bring a physical book. it's written by one of my favorite podcast hosts ever, and so far it's an interesting look into his brain tbh. it's an imagination of what the us would look like in the future, maybe fifty years from now, after a huge revolution has taken place and the country is split into warring factions. relevant... perhaps. (you can download it here if you want bc he is just like that)

BOOKS THAT I WANT TO READ AGAIN

i think i want to read the song of achilles again at some point. but i don't know. i think at this point in my life i'm so excited about reading new books, that i don't want to reread things just yet! but i have a few books i read when i was a lot younger and would like to read again, which will genuinely feel like i'm reading them for the first time. like some of the vonnegut ones i read almost ten years ago, or brideshead revisited, which i read before i was as adept as i am now at properly sussing out all the queer signalling.

BOOKS THAT I HAVE HAD FOR AN EMBARRASSING AMOUNT OF TIME WITHOUT FINISHING/READING THEM

books that i have started for a long time but haven't finished: ulysses huehuehuehueue buuuuut also lanark by alasdair gray. i've read it almost all the way through three times now lol, once for school and then twice since. i am captivated by this author's writing, since one of his other novels (something leather) is one of my favs of all time, but this is a brick of a book, set in a new world with a lot of unfamiliar scenes described in complicated language so... yeah. not an easy read. but i am determined to, at some point, read it all the way to the end.

as for the books that i've owned for ages but haven't read: the beat hotel - barry miles. i had a huge beat generation phase as a teen and i am actually still set on reading up on all of them. i have books that i bought back then and just never read past the first chapters. no idea why. third one in this line-up is a swim in a pond in the rain, which is basically literary theory poured into a nice book. it analyses scenes from russian literature. i once read a good chunk of it and loved it!!! and then i stopped lol. i had a major reading slump after 2019 ngl, which i'm only just coming back from. (so far i'm back up to speed when it comes to fiction, but non-fiction still needs a push, clearly)

BOOKS THAT I ALREADY OWN THAT I AM EXCITED TO READ

here's three, even though there are a lot more. my bookcase is a mess. but this year stephen fry is coming to my city to do a reading about mythos, so i will probably be reading that one first. i own troy, which i will probably read right before or soon after mythos. been loving all the books that help me brush up on my greek mythology. demon copperhead has been on my list for a while, and now my mom randomly found it in a little exchange library at the station. i think it'll be similar in vibes to shuggie bain, which i'm excited about. then i recently bought never anyone but you in a small indie queer/feminist bookshop in utrecht, nl. it's about the life of claude cahun and suzanne malherbe, two real historical figures from ww2 era france, who lived a beautiful, vibrant, artistic, but hard queer life. i already read a graphic novel about claude last year, so i'm excited to read this novel, which i assume will focus more on their love story.

i also wanted to mention some tbrs that i don't own and will probably download somewhere, because this year i want to focus again some more on politics and brush up on my knowledge and history of anarchism etc. so here's some of my (urgent) tbrs:

tagging.......... anyone who likes to read!! perhaps @persephoneflouwers @moonbeamalice if you feel like it <333

[mail-me-a-snail]

Hi I’ve been getting slightly obsessed with true blu and I’ve been thinking about heavy medic too

I like to think that RED Medic loves RED Heavy in the same a car guy loves a car he’s taken apart and put back together again. I don’t think either Medic really feels attraction normally, and I think REDic has only come to love Heavy like this because he can open the Heavy up and trace every inch of his anatomy and see himself in it. and I think Heavy sees this and is like. “Ah, I am his Sasha.” And he gets it. It’s not a NORMAL relationship. But it’s no less genuine.

In contrast, their BLU counterparts? They have none of that. There is nothing that Medic can call his own- while the RED Heavy is a walking talking monument to RED Medic’s genius, anything the BLU Medic can do is just… derivative. Someone else's body, made by someone else's work, worked on using someone else’s skills. Medics seem motivated by new and novel mad science experiments, and can anything the BLU Medic does be called original? Is it all plagiarism?

I also like to think that BLU Heavy has gone back to reading a lot more compared to RED Heavy. Leaning on that Russian literature degree they have. Lots of philosophy out there to think about your existential crisis with

im convinced youve somehow snuck a peek at my outline document without my knowledge because we share a lot of the same thoughts re: red heavymedic like damn!!!!!!!

personally i agree that blu medic has that same maniacal drive as red medic to experiment to his heart's content, but he is hesitant on performing said experiments on his teammates. given that he's more of a doctor than red is, in that he manages the team's mental wellbeing and reports back to engie about them monthly, so he's not enthusiastic about doing things that would hurt them.

besides, blu medic would rather experiment on himself than them. some parts of him want to ignore that he's a clone; others want very badly to work the cloning process backwards, to trace the steps of whoever made him and find out how they made him. he doesn't intend to start cloning people—he could never bring himself to wish that upon anyone—but he wonders if the process could be perfected. could a clone some day retain all of its memories in picture perfect quality? could it harbor the same feelings for a person as its counterpart? much to think about.

blu heavy is more than open to being experimented on, he finds medic fascinating and is the only one who insists on being his test subject when it comes to researching their cloned bodies. funny enough we do share the same headcanon that he reads more than his red counterpart !!!

while i also agree that anything medic would do to heavy would just be plagiarism, i also think their relationship is complicated by the fact that their red originals are so so in love with each other...while neither of them feel the same way, don't even have that little inkling of affection for one another. sure, they work together very well and they enjoy each other's company...but isn't it weird to look at this person that you're supposed to love, on the other side of things, and you just feel nothing?

[theres-rue-for-you]

So people have always been confused by my name because I use 2 versions of it, and this used to embarrass me BUT now I just tell myself it’s chic in a “natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812, “it’s a complicated Russian novel-everyone’s got 9 different names”” kind of way

[shiki-aki]

hi! i was wondering if you knew where you can play tnc true blood or just a translation for shiki’s route? i was also wondering where you can read the mangas and if there are other official shiki-aki content other than the main game

Hi!! thanks for the ask

I personally don't know the steps to downloading and playing TNC True Blood, but I'm sure someone in the fandom around here knows how to do that? I believe you're going to need to download an emulator (like PPSSPP) and then download the TNC True Blood iso file off a website. I know a few of my mutuals play the game with a program that allows them to machine translate while they play, but again I don't have firsthand experience so I can't help you there, sorry! :(

There's no translation for Shiki's True Blood route as far as I'm concerned, but I read a vague summary of it and checked his route out myself through Japanese Youtube playthroughs. If you want, I can explain how his route is changed in True Blood/the new endings. Long story short, the latter half of Shiki's route is changed because the original was too NSFW lol. Shiki ends up not kidnapping Akira and holding him in captivity (unless you pick the choice that leads to that bad end).

For the manga, it's a bit of a complicated situation. You have to read on several platforms for the English version because there's no site that has the entire manga compiled in one place. Someone recently uploaded the entirety of the Togainu no Chi manga on the Internet Archive, but it's only in Japanese (and the Internet Archive is currently down). Here's how I would suggest reading the manga if you want the English version:

The manga site below has Vol 1, Vol 2, but it skips Vol 3, which is why you have to read Vol 3 elsewhere. However, the manga site has Vol 4, 5, 6, 7, and part of 8, so I still recommend you read here. The quality of the scans is not the best, but honestly this is the site I use to read the manga because it's the most accessible lol. I'll just bullet point to make things clearer.

https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/togainu_no_chi/

Vol 1 (chapters 1-5)

Vol 2 (chapters 6-9)

Vol 4 (chapters 16-20)

Vol 5 (chapters 21-26)

Vol 6 (chapters 27-31)

Vol 7 (chapters 32-26)

Vol 8 (chapters 37-39) *on the manga site, they don't have chapter 39, so I'll let you know where you can read chapter 39

If you want to read Vol 3 in English (chapters 10-15), you have to go here:

Now for chapter 39 (which is part of Vol 8), you can read it here:

After that, Vol 9 and 10 do have scans but... they're extremely hard to access, and they don't have any English translations as far as I'm concerned; only the Japanese raws. You have to go through hoops in joining a Russian Facebook group to access these scans (which I did because I was desperate to see my beloved Shiki in high quality lol). However, like I said, someone recently uploaded the entirety of the Togainu no Chi manga in Japanese. I would recommend reading Vol 9 and 10 off the Internet Archive, but it's down right now.

There's quite a few official Shikiaki content aside from the main game. Here's a list off the top of my head:

Shiki's Side Story ("Kawaita Mizu")

Shiki's Light Novel Story (based on ED3) but I wouldn't call it canon because it's not written by the same person who wrote TnC

Shiki and Akira's 5th Anniversary Scene

Shiki's drama CDs with Akira (there are a number of them, trust me lol. They're mostly crack though with Shiki and Akira roleplaying in funny scenarios)

Sorry if this answer is getting too long! Let me know if you want links to the Shikiaki content. Some of them require convoluted ways to access, and I don't want to make this post more disorganized than it already is, lol. Sorry! Thanks for the ask; I hope I was able to provide helpful information in some way.

[minimalist-language-learning]

February roundup - Russian

Years ago, I started learning Russian. I bought novels in Russian and a textbook. But this textbook wasn't really beginner-friendly. In every new lesson, the dialogue contained many new words but only few words from the previous lessons. The author probably wanted the learner to study the whole vocabulary list before going on but I didn't like this approach. After only a few lessons I felt too overwhelmed and decided to focus on Japanese instead.

On February 13th, I tried it again and now I'm much more optimistic. I gained more experience as a language learner through Japanese and can use that now with Russian. Plus, I discovered the Refold Russian server on discord which is a very helpful place for finding resources and guidance.

I want to reach a point at where I can understand the novels in Russian that are waiting on my shelf.

In this post I want to share what I did so far, which resources I used and my thoughts. I think I'll post one update every month.

(YouTube) Comprehensible Russian: Zero Beginner (watched: 38 of 75 videos)

Easy to understand even for absolute beginners. The first 10 or 15 videos are very easy with lots of repetition. After around 15 videos the complexity slowly increases. 

Assimil (Lesson 1 - 10)

Compared to the textbook I used years ago, Assimil introduces the language in a much more beginner-friendly manner. I like it so far.

(Anki) Russian starter deck (this one)

This deck was recommended in the Refold Russian server on discord. It starts with simple sentences and contains lots of explanations. I did 10 new cards per day.

Short Stories in Russian for Beginners by Olly Richards (Story 1 - Story 3)

I looked up many words, but the stories are not too complicated. They introduce many common words and repeat them regularly in their stories, which helps to get used to them. I tried to listen to the audio book while reading but it’s too fast at my current level, so I focused on reading for now.

This book is aimed at beginners but I think it's difficult for complete beginners like me. Ideally, you are already familiar with basic vocabulary before reading this book. Otherwise, you have to look up almost every word (like me). However, after reading two stories, I noticed that recognizing and understanding words became a bit easier (in the beginning, all new words looked somewhat the same). It's hard if you start almost from zero like me, but it's possible and you'll make progress.

(YouTube) Different Let's Plays

I watched a few videos of Russian native speakers who are playing games I'm interested in. Like Animal Crossing or Метро: Исход. They are too difficult for now, but they are also motivating and make me want to keep going. 

(YouTube) Easy Russian

Too difficult for now, but I really like their videos. They have subtitles in Russian and English, their topics are interesting and the people from Easy Russian do a great job.

(YouTube) Russian with Max

It’s too difficult at the moment but I like his vlog videos so far. He visits many different places and explains a lot and there are subtitles which is great. I started to look up words from one video. 

(YouTube) Video about pronunciation from RussianPod 101 (this one)

I liked this video. It's well-structured and not too fast so that you can comfortably follow along.

...

These are the things I did in Russian in February! I feel like I already learned much more than during my previous attempt, but I'm still at the very beginning of course. I'll post another update at the end of the month.

[every-character-ever-poll]

TABAQUI THE JACKAL - The Gray House

Credit to Allinor on DeviantArt and @chasmou respectively

PROPAGANDA:

He's in a wheelchair, hates time, hoarder, and is never quiet. I wanted to give this lil guy - and the book - some attention > [https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/10002469-i-don-t-like-stories-i-like-moments-i-like-night]

Honestly the book excerpt might be better propaganda. The Gray House is a novel written in Russian originally

[shotguncvllostomy]

strawpages are so cute, and those neocities websites i believe,,, i mainly knkw my way around carrd a good amount but its outdated,,, spacehey is fun but so complicated,,,, ijust dont know html even though i plan onto major computer science;

adding onto that last part,, actually,, i wanted to do a small introduction sort of, even though i still barely know how to use pinterest,,, so sorry it doesnt look cute baka huzz - i wont pin this, though!!! tooooo long..... anyways yes i love love love computer science and have been working on this visual novel with 8 characters and in pairs, they reassemble each of the 4 cluster b disorders,,, so,, i think computer stuff is prettttyyy freaaaking cooool skibiduuuh..

and yes im russian,, im paranoid people wont believe it bc "shdhsjsnw russian tcc larper😡😡" but i am from rostov,, yipee,,,,

i also like postal..! like,, postal dude,, very fun soundtracks,,, i could also beat your ass in garfield kart..! i plan on getting a ps5 for christmas,,,, i also play (acoustic) guitar,, but i do not consider myself well, yet i know i few songs by heart,,,

i might use this option to rant about things i dislike or like,,,, in random rants like this theres no point in using tags--thats something i noticed--people say something very unrelated of said tag, and its ??!!?!?

but yes teehee yayy first talking post!!!!!! i hope i am not boring🤑🤑🤑

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Out of curiosity what do you dislike about Ada Palmers books

so tbc i made my way thru vol 1 of terra ignota and the first bit of vol 2 before quitting, so im working with a limited sample. but such is the case with dismissal! so here goes:

the prose is... bad. its very likely i should just develop a higher tolerance on this, ik im effectively gatekeeping myself from some very conceptually solid fiction over a relatively superficial skill detached from the stuff that really deeply matters, but the style on a sentence-to-sentence level is just very underwhelming, which is a particular problem when in universe its supposed to be elevated and uplifting (like the speech at renunciation day). i dont mind purple prose but it like marries imo the worst aspects of purple and bland, its a chore to get thru it

the pacing feels sort of mechanical and arbitrary,. every fifty pages, on the dot, theres another twist pulled from the Twist Bag! im told this im proves but its a) not enough to make up for the other deficits and ii) a common thing said when it takes a certain amount of time for ppl to inure themselves to an in fact persistent defect in a long work

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (But Your Kink Is OK)

i do not care about these characters. its hard for me to go into more detail bc i have little grip on what makes characters "work" for me in general but i just. dont care what happens to any of them (besides best not-girl eureka weeksbooth 🤤)

the worldbuilding. by far the biggest letdown. ppl will tell you—repeatedly, at length—that this is the great strength of the series. do not listen to them! they are misguided. ada palmer is really good—gifted, even—at the first step of worldbuilding, much moreso than most writers! shes top notch at coming up with a broad element of the society that makes you think "whoa, i want to know how that works!" and then... you never do. the depths are never plumbed. the depths are never even adequately hinted at. nor are the depths even conspicuously hidden from view! she just... tells you that there are a bunch of totally complicated details, trust me guys, look here i came up with some technobabble and some percentages like i totally promise theres stuff going on behind here! but there just, so aggravatingly obviously isnt! the technobabble does not even give the illusion of depth, the way (imo) it does in almost nowhere, it gives the appearance of earnestly trying to project such an illusion. tears me out of the immersion every time. its probably worth mentioning that i know from firsthand reports that she is into larp stuff irl, which is notorious for attracting ppl with a high tolerance for would be un-suspensors of disbelief. which, again, may be a virtue on their part! but if so its one i lack, at least here

i was talking to birdblog who suggested much of it might be that the work is very capital-L Liberal, and i am very not. which i think is kind of true, but less in that this is a drawback it possesses and more that its a virtue it lacks. theres lots of fiction i enjoy that is transparently committed to big philosophical/moral/political claims im vehemently opposed to! off the top of my head: any shakespeare that involves kings, any bernard shaw that involves Society, log horizon (at least s01, havent seen past it), nausicaa of the valley of the wind (the manga, the movie is sort of opaque philosophically), a bunch of outright propaganda films from wwii (american, british, russian, japanese), several kipling short stories...

but like, i think that a visceral sympathy for the earnestly felt message of a work of art does help one excuse other flaws, and i suspect a lot of my fundamentally Liberalism-oriented friends are able to enjoy the series bc the author shares that same basic vision. which is certainly like, an interesting one! but on its own its not enough to compel me past the artistic demerits by being either spiritually akin to encourage me or sufficiently weird and novel to fascinate me

anyway, tell me why im wrong, terra ignotans! humani nihil a me alienum puto