#it’s April Fools so I’m suspicious over everything

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

[star-going-supernova]

Okay, here’s a prompt I’m a bit surprised I haven’t seen yet. Only three words, but with near infinite potential.

Gregory. April Fools.

Have fun.

I’m picturing the kids as being thirteen or fourteen in this one. 

Expectations (And the Breaking of Them)

Cassie couldn’t help but snicker to herself at how tense her classmates and teacher were that morning. Some kept eyeing the doorway, perhaps praying that Gregory wouldn’t walk through it on today of all days. 

April Fools Day.

Gregory’s pranks the previous year were a thing of legend, and she truly regretted having been out that week with the flu. Rumor had it that multiple teachers had been clamoring to give him detention (or even have him suspended) for some of his stunts, but the true brilliance of his school-wide torment wasn’t how elaborate or funny or distracting the pranks were. It was that there was no proof that Gregory was the culprit. 

Oh, everyone knew, of course. But they had no way to truly pin any of it on him, and it was even less of a secret that his moms would gladly rip into the administration if their son was punished for something without proof of guilt. 

The only thing the teachers had on him was being one of the five instigators of a massive food fight during lunch. 

Needless to say, Gregory had a lot to live up to this year, and all his potential victims were already flinching. 

At last, Gregory sauntered into the classroom with a satisfied grin. Over a dozen pairs of wary eyes zeroed in on him. 

“Hey, Cassie,” he greeted her as slid into her desk behind her. 

“Good morning,” she replied dryly. 

He chuckled. “It certainly is.” 

Attendance was taken soon after, and hour by hour, the day passed by agonizingly slowly. Every time Gregory made a sound or shifted in his seat or raised his hand, someone would flinch or duck or give him a suspicious look. Their teacher looked like she dearly wanted to refuse when Gregory asked to go to the bathroom, and she watched the clock like a hawk until he came back an ordinary amount of time later. 

But nothing happened. 

Lunch arrived, and many students cautiously checked their lunches for tampering. Even those who’d bought their lunch were hesitant to eat. Cassie sat beside him as usual, and they chatted about their after school plans while everyone else watched Gregory over their shoulders for any signs of mischief. 

But nothing happened. 

Gregory was a model student for the remainder of the day as well, even as the spark in his eyes never dimmed. The silence during their final free period was thick; the unlucky few to be seated in Gregory’s immediate vicinity unsubtly scooted their desks away until only Cassie remained in a five foot radius around him. 

But the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, and nothing happened. 

• • •

Once they were safely far away from any potential eavesdroppers, Cassie finally let out all the laughter she’d been swallowing back. Gregory joined in, snickering gleefully as they walked down the sidewalk to Cassie’s house. 

“They were all so afraid!” she giggled. “Everyone was acting like you were about to explode or something!” 

“I could practically taste their fear,” Gregory said proudly. 

“Best April Fools ever.” 

“Not yet, it’s not.” Gregory pulled out a phone that wasn’t his and tapped around for a minute before holding the screen out to her. “Care to do the honors, my dear partner in crime?” 

“Gladly.” And Cassie tapped a single button, launching the prank to end all pranks that she had spent most of the day setting up. Because while everyone else had been so focused on Gregory, no one had paid any attention to her—not as she’d fiddled on that very phone, not as she took an extra long bathroom trip, and not even as she slipped into the main office under the guise of making copies for her teacher. 

It’d been Gregory’s idea, just as much as it’d been his idea that he would effortlessly keep the spotlight on himself while she put everything into place. 

A moment later, their phones received an official email from the official administration email address sent to all students and parents announcing there would be no school the next day on account of “a prank that has caused some property damage.” No doubt, everyone would assume it was the prank they’d all been expecting from Gregory. 

The teachers, though, would be getting no such email. In the morning, they would be faced quite bewilderingly with a completely and utterly empty school.

The phone, borrowed from the pizzaplex’s lost and found, would be returned to the box of junk that evening, wiped clean of any incriminating evidence. No one would ever know how, or even truly who, had pulled off a prank that got everyone a free day—

—but it was generally accepted to be the best prank ever committed at their school, and Gregory was the favorite suspect. Naturally. And while no one would ever seriously suspect kind, quiet Cassie as an accomplice, there were some who noticed that that April Fools Day, her eyes had been just as bright with mischief as her best friend’s. 

[chiliiscereal]

Chosen last: part 5

Summary: the turtle boys try to figure out how to comfort reader after a terrible experience with a boy, and Donnie does his best to apologize

————

Here’s the part before! In the part there are also links to the rest!

https://chiliiscereal.tumblr.com/post/651628962334769152/chosen-last

Donnie had no words to say.

Well, for the first five minutes of complete and utter silence.

You could feel him gaping at you but you couldn’t face him. He was right. He was right all along and you were a fool for hoping.

The rooftop wind howled, reminding you that you were still there.

“D-did he..?” Donnie cleared his throat and started over, “did he succeed?”

You shook your head and pulled your jacket closer. “He came close.”

He glanced at the jacket you were wearing. Underneath he could see your dress had rips in it. Even worse, he could see a small trail of blood.

Probably left by fingernails.

He didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know what to say.

Not even how to ask if you were okay or if you needed him to help in any way.

So he did the best thing he knew how: make a plan.

“We’re gonna kill him.” He decided, standing up furiously. “We’ll kill him, resurrect him with cpr or defibrillaters, and then give him to the police.” He began pacing the rooftop, his mind turning and processing this information. “I need his address, I need his phone number, and his mother’s number.”

You just listened to him walking instead of his words. It was comforting in a way.

You couldn’t believe that almost happened though.

You couldn’t believe that even though you did your best to stop the worst, he came close.

What if you hadn’t listened to your gut?

What if you had told yourself you were overacting?

“We’re gonna call your friends.” Donnie decided. “You can stay the night with them. You shouldn’t be alone after-.”

“I’m not staying with those assholes.” You spat, much to his surprise.

“But... they’re you’re friends!” He was extremely confused. Did he not have all of the story? “Shouldn’t you-?”

“I said no.”

“But you could really use-!”

“I said NO!” You shouted at him, finally turning to face him.

He finally got a good look at how much damage was done.

Your eyes were red.

Tears leaked down your face.

A scratch decorated your cheek.

And... those eyes... they were so hurt and lost.

He messed up. He messed up bad.

Donnie shut his mouth immediately. “Okay, okay! But... do you want to be alone?”

You turned away again, shaking your head.

“Can I take you to the lair then?”

You hesitated for a second and then nodded.

“Okay, alright, come on.” He gently offered his hand to help you up, not sure how he was supposed to handle this.

You accepted it and let him assist you to your feet.

He didn’t make you talk on the way there.

Probably cause he didn’t know what questions to ask to get the answers he wanted.

You were fine with that. You didn’t need to talk.

Not now, anyway.

You’d have to talk eventually though. There was no way to be in the lair without saying anything.

————

When you arrived you could hear the sounds of the tv playing. Even the sound of the air hockey table.

Maybe the boys would be too busy to notice you.

Donnie lead you quietly through the lair and into the living room where his brothers and April were sat at.

You two tried to walk behind them but Leo noticed once you had your back turned to him, both of you almost to Donnies lab.

“Hey, y/n!” He grinned, pausing the tv. “You’re back already?”

“Yeah, how was the party!” Mikey leaned over the back of the couch excitedly. “Did you have fun?”

You kept walking, more tears spilling.

Raph immediately sensed something was wrong. “Hey, what’s up? Are you good?”

You stopped, so so SO close to breaking.

Donnie didn’t know if you wanted him to answer or not so he waited.

“Is it okay if I stay here tonight?” You asked quietly, still not showing your face.

“...yeah? Yeah you can stay?” Raph tilted his head in confusion and stood up from the couch. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Nothing’s going on.” You tried you keep walking but Raph stepped in front of you faster than you’d ever seen him move.

“Clearly there’s something going on.” He placed his hands on his hips, refusing to move. “Did Donnie pester you or somethin’? Did he make you leave early?” He sent his younger brother a small glare.

Donnie held up his hands innocently. “Just because I thought about it does NOT mean I did it.”

You kept your eyes on the floor, hair in your face and cheeks flushed bright pink.

“Y/n, you know I love you, but you’re a TERRIBLE liar.” Leo joked, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “Now, what happened?”

“You wanna know what happened?” You growled, too overwhelmed. “I’ll tell you what happened! Donnie was right!” You shoved Leo’s arm off you and glared at him. “All of you were! And I was STUPID to think that someone would actually like me!”

Mikey rushed over quickly. “Hey that’s not true-!”

“Then tell me, Mikey!” You whipped around to glare at him to, “tell me why Eric was only being nice to have sex with me! Tell me why he planned it with my friends to get me alone! Tell me why they thought that if I had ‘a good time’ then I’d loosen up and stop being a PRUDE!”

The boys stood there in silence, mouths open and eyes wide.

Donnie just looked at the floor in embarrassment.

Oh there was no stopping the tears now. You swiped them away furiously, cheeks flushing brightly.

You didn’t want to have this outburst now.

But there was just too much going on in your head!

“You guys were right.” You muttered as you strength faded. “I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have gone to that stupid party and I shouldn’t have believed him for one second.” You locked eyes with Donnie. “I shouldn’t have believed he liked me for me.”

As if everything else wasn’t making him feel guilty that was just another cherry on top.

April was at your side quickly, arms wrapped around you and hands rubbing soft circles on your back. “It’s okay, the important thing is that you’re back here. With US.” She held you at at arms length. “Let’s go clean you up and talk, okay?”

You nodded, desperate to finally get away from the pitying stares you were getting.

“Donnie, can we borrow your lab?” She asked the purple masked turtle as she began to lead you in that direction.

“Yeah yeah sure.” He confirmed immediately. “There’s a... a first aid kit... if you need it.”

April whisked you away, leaving only the sound of echoing footsteps.

———-

“Oh man.” Raph sat down on the couch, head in his hands. “I can’t believe...” he trailed off. He didn’t even know how to finish that sentence.

Mikey sat down to.

Donnie and Leo, on the other hand, both stayed standing.

None of them knew what to say.

There were too many things dumped on them at once.

They’d heard about things like this happening but that always felt like something that happened in movies or to strangers.

Not a close friend.

“Well...” Leo tapped his fingers against his arm, “how’d the apology go?” He needed to find something else to talk about. He couldn’t think about it for very long without feeling this anger building up inside him.

“Well...” Donnie started, “I didn’t really... get to the apologizing part.”

“Please tell me you didn’t start gloating when you saw that y/n’s night hadn’t gone well.” Leo crosses his arms, already knowing the answer.

Donnie’s eyes went wide. “Why would you assume that? I am hurt.”

“Because that’s what you always do when you find out you were right.” Mikey insisted.

Donnie caved immediately. “Yeah... yeah I did do that.”

“Donnie!” His brothers chorused in disappointment.

“I know!” He threw his arms out angrily. “I know I shouldn’t have! I couldn’t help it! I knew something bad would happen I just didn’t know that it would be something like this!”

“You didn’t even apologize!” Leo scoffed. “You just rubbed it in her face!”

“I know.” Donnie sighed. “I’ll apologize when April’s done.”

“You better.” Raph ordered, standing up. “In the meantime, we’ve got some planning to do.”

   ““But what CAN we do?” Mikey brought his knees to his chest and watched his older brother sadly. ““There’s not evidence and we can’t be seen by people!” 

  Donnie rubbed his chin. ““No evidence…. Yeah there’s not much we can do without OH AND THEN HE REMEMBERED HE INSTALLED THE CAMERA PROTOCOL!” He whipped out his wrist device and began tapping immediately. “I’ve got her phone set to audio record whenever she’s headed somewhere suspicious! How could I forget I launched it before she went?”

   His brothers huddled behind him and watched.     “We convince y/n to tell the police what happened, hand over the audio, and land that asshole in juvie!” Leo caught on quickly, slapping his brothers shoulder with excitement as if he was doing a drumroll.  “That’s exactly what he deserves!” 

  ““I personally think he deserves a visit from doctor delicate touch.” Mikey crossed his arms. 

  “Not just from doctor delicate touch.” Raph agreed. ““A visit from us and then a REAL doctor.” 

  “Hey doctor delicate touch IS a real doctor!” Mikey protested. ““He doesn’t need a PHD.” 

“Quiet.” Donnie ordered as he kept working. “We’re not gonna scare the life out of him without y/n’s permission. We’re not even gonna send this in without her say so.” 

  Mikey turned his attention away from Raph. ““What are we gonna do then?”

  Donnie straightened up and looked back toward his lab. ““Offer it as an apology. Y/n will decide what to do with it. It’s her choice.” 

  ————

The tears stopped maybe ten minutes ago.  Maybe twenty. 

You didn’t really know.

But you still felt dirty.

Disgusting even. 

Being with April helped though. She kept you present. She did her best to keep you from thinking about that slime ball of a boy.

  “Alright, your cuts are all cleaned.” She nodded to herself proudly. “You’ve got a pair of my pajamas, a blanket, and your best friend. I think my work here is done.” 

  When you didn’t respond she leaned down to make eye contact with you. “Hey, do you need some alone time?”  You wanted to talk.

You really did.

But you couldn’t stop seeing that boy dragging you to the bed.

You couldn’t stop see him trying to rip the dress off you.

You couldn’t stop seeing your friends yelling for you to come back as you ran from the house.

If it hadn’t been for Ralph’s self defense lessons…

April sat down beside you on Donnies bed.  “You’re safe now.” She pulled you into a side hug. ““He ain’t ever goin near you ever again. Not if he wants to deal with April O’neil.” 

  You gave her a small laugh. “I’d pity anyone who’d have to deal with April O’neil.” 

  She jumped on that immediately. If that’s what would get you to laugh then she was taking it and running with it. “You know it! I’ll hit him with my bat so hard his future KIDS will be feelin’ it!” 

  You gave her another chuckle. “Look out Eric,”

She squeezed your shoulder again. “Exactly. And as for your terrible friends, I’ll send mayhem after them if they even look at you.” 

   You nodded. “Thanks April.” 

She smiled back at you, standing up. “I’ll go call your mom and tell her you’re sleeping over, okay?” 

You nodded again. “Okay.” 

Before she even shut the door, her spot was replaced by someone else.  you didn’t need to look at them to know who they were. 

“Yes Donnie?” You pulled your blanket closer.

 He took a deep breath, not fully ready for what he was about to do. ““I… I messed up.”

That seemed like a good start. 

“So did I.” You grumbled. “Making friends with people like that-.”

“No.” He interrupted. “You couldn’t have known. I… I should have known better.” He fiddled nervously with the recording device in his hands. “Whether something like that would have happened or not I shouldn’t have gloated. I should have been a reliable friend and let you figure things out yourself.” You didn’t say anything else so he kept going. “I know I can be unbareable and controlling and… not understanding, but I should have put that aside. I know that this won’t make up for it in the slightest but…” he placed the recording device in your hands, “I have a recording of what happened. I Installed a device that would audio record whenever I thought you could be in danger when I last fixed your phone for you.”

You flipped the small object over thoughtfully.  “I didn’t listen to it.” He stated immediately as his nerves grew worse. “I know it was a violation of your space by not telling you. But… here it is. You can decide what you want to do with it. If you want to leave it in the past or turn him in-.”

“Or let us seriously mess up his face for you!” Leo interrupted as he came in without knocking, brothers behind him.

You hadn’t even known the rest of the boys were there. But it was still appreciated that they wanted to be there for you.

  “Or have him talk to doctor delicate touch-.” Mikey grinned and sat down beside you.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Donnie finished, relieved to have his brothers beside him. “It’s yours.” 

You didn’t really know what to say.

Well you did.

You had a lot to say.  you just couldn’t get to words out.

Donnie held his breath. 

Finally, you looked up and him and strengthened your grip on the device. “Why not all of it?”    He did this to you.

Your friends did this to you.

They deserved a little bit of karma heading their way. The boys cheered, swarming you in a giant hug right as April opened the door.

“Did I hear something about revenge?” She grinned and joined immediately. “Cause this girl is all over it!”

Oh Eric, if only you had done the bare minimum and had respect for your decisions.  This guy had it coming. 

That night, you stayed with April and splinter while the boys went out, promising to record every priceless moment and give it to you.

Tomorrow, Donnie would walk with you to the police station in disguise as your moral support while you turned over the audio.

[enhalovebot]

april fool pranks with enhypen .•ᰔᩚ

➸ enhypen x reader (gender neutral)

➸ fluff!!

➸ ˚ ༘⊹ ° . [🧸]  ⋆｡˚ and ˗ˏ ➶ [☁️]. ✧ ˚

⤷ these boys love to mess with you on the regular. but what happens if it’s april fools day?

heeseung

it was early in the morning when you woke up.

the room was ice cold, and you noticed that the space next to you was empty. so you assumed your lovely boyfriend was up and preparing breakfast.

“hee? can you please prepare me a toasty shower?”

“sure thing, bubs!” he shouted from outside the door.

while heeseung is preparing your bath, you proceeded to prepare your work for the day. spring break completely slipped from your mind as you turned on your laptop.

unbeknownst to you tho, heeseung had a different plan. he already knew you had no classes, which he took advantage of to execute his plan.

one that is perfect for april fool's day.

as we all know, our boy is very fond of dad jokes. so he decided to pull a prank on you, instead of just reminding you that you have no classes.

oh, he will prepare you a toasty shower alright.

it was only a few minutes later when heeseung tells you your shower is ready.

“y/n, it’s ready!”

you rushed to the bathroom with your towel in hand to see literal toasts littered all over the bathroom.

this sent you into panic mode because there is no way you will make it to your class on time.

“i want to be mad at you, but i don’t have the time right now. so please just help me clean this up.”

heeseung leaned on the doorway with a stupid smile on his face as he watches you scramble about.

“HEE?! DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME?!” you yelled when you noticed him just standing there.

he laughs harder, crouching down on his knees. “y/n, you don’t have any classes today. it’s your spring break remember?”

this made you freeze in place. with a look of disbelief, you dropped your towel in shock.

and you guessed that the look you had on your face was absolutely priceless when heeseung laughs even harder.

let’s just say his plan was a success.

jay

definitely the type to cook for you, especially when you’re stressed or whenever you’re feeling hungry for something.

you were sitting at the back of the bus when he called asking you what you want for dinner.

“what do you want for dinner?” he asked.

“fish sounds good right now.” you expected him to hang up and leave to the kitchen to work his magic, but jay didn’t say anything.

“just fish?” he deadpanned.

you stared at your phone in confusion, eyebrows raised. “yes??”

jay huffs and crosses his arms (but you don’t know that), clearly offended. “i expected you to ask for something fancy. clearly my cooking skills just limited to fish.”

“baby, wha-”

“fish it is then. hurry back home, i’ll have a surprise waiting for you.” then he hang up.

once you got home, you immediately rushed to the kitchen to see how dinner was going.

but jay quickly blocked you from entering the kitchen.

“nope, dinner is not done yet. why don’t you relax first. i have everything under control.”

“uhmm okayy??”

you let him push you into your shared room so that you could relax.

it wasn’t long before jay excitedly told you dinner was ready.

“finally, i’m so hungry.”

“close your eyes, this is the surprise.” jay pulls you into the dining room and guides you to the table.

when he finally uncoveresd your eyes, you were faced with a gummy fish with ketchup on the side.

with a huff, you turn to jay with a smile, picking up the spoon while at it.

jay gulped at this.

“jay?”

“hmm?”

“run.”

with that, jay runs away from you and prepares for the worst.

jake

“babe, hear me out. what about we get another dog?” jake pouts.

you sigh, “i’m sorry jakey, but we don’t have the time.”

ever since you met layla, jake kept asking you for another dog. saying that layla needs a friend.

but you always rejected this because both of you were very busy individuals. so getting another dog would be a hassle.

besides, layla is enough 🥺

jake decides it’s hopeless arguing about this with you.

so he decided to mess with you.

he finds a picture of a coyote on the internet, and inserts it in photoshop to make it more believable.

he sends it to you while you were out with your friends, so you clearly did not see this one coming.

when you opened his message, you eyes nearly popped out of its sockets.

‘y/n look! i saw this dog on the street so i bought it home.’ then he sends a picture of the coyote in your living room.

‘i also bought its friend.’ another picture of a coyote outside your house.

you nearly have a panic attack when you got home.

“WHERE IS IT?!” you yelled, searching through the house, looking for the coyote.

jake chuckles and holds up his phone.

“happy april fools, love.”

sunghoon

for the past month you’ve been saying you were on a diet.

and guess what.

sunghoon is done with it.

because you weren’t really dieting at this point.

“hoon, can you buy doughnuts for me. i’m craving for some sweets.”

he turns to you, “but aren’t you on a diet?”

this caught you off guard.

you say nothing.

sunghoon also says nothing.

he was just mainly waiting for you to admit that you are not on a diet anymore.

“it’s my cheat day today.” of course, that was the only excuse you could come up with.

sunghoon groans at your cuteness.

“fineeee.” he drags out the word. sunghoon slides out of his seat, grabbing his wallet to buy your doughnuts.

he comes back into the living room with a box of doughnuts.

but what made you confused was that he was holding a fork.

“you’re eating with a fork?”

“no, you are.”

you ignore his comment, hands gripping on the box.

sunghoon smiles at your eagerness.

but your smile turns into a frown when you finally got to see what’s inside the box.

you asked for doughnuts.

he got you a salad instead.

“now, here is your fork.” sunghoon hands you the fork.

“bu-”

“no buts. now, eat your greens.” he pecks your cheek.

sunoo

this boy LOVES doing you hair.

he comes up with so many hairstyles that you can’t even count them.

so on a particular day, he comes up to you asking if he could do your hair.

since he does this almost everyday, you let him do his thing.

“i have this crazy idea for your hair today.” he practically drags you to your seat on the sofa.

sunoo goes quiet when his hands carded through your hair. his touch was feather-like, which makes you a bit sleepy.

and eventually, you fall asleep.

he leans into your ear, “i love you, and i‘m so sorry for what i’m about to do.”

sunoo notices this, making him slightly guilty about what he’s going to do next.

then his evil plan came into play.

when he’s finally done with your hair, sunoo gently shakes you awake.

“hmm? what? you’re done already?”

sunoo almost cracks from laughter when you got up from your position on the sofa.

“how do i look?” you pointed at you hair, unaware of the disaster on top of your head.

“cute, you look cute.” sunoo chuckles at the end of his sentence.

you grew suspicious at this, so you dash to the closest mirror you could find.

your jaw dropped open in shock at the sight of your hair.

this

boy

made

you

into

an

oompa loompa

“MY HAIR!!”

“YOU’RE AN ADORABLE OOMPA LOOMPA THO!”

jungwon

“so, we‘ve been together for a while now, right?”

jungwon turns his head down to look at you.

“yeah, been the happiest i’ve ever been.” you say without thinking.

jungwon stops from combing his hand in your hair. he drops his hand on your head. “i really care for you, y/n.”

okay, you both said ‘i love you’ without actually saying ‘i love you.’

you both fall asleep tangled under the sheets.

let’s just say, jungwon has a gift for you the next day.

you woke up to birds chirping and the smell of breakfast. you mindlessly felt around the space next to you, searching for jungwon’s warmth.

but his side was empty.

so you got up with no choice, but to look for him.

and there he was. he was standing in front of the counter with a black box in his hands.

jungwon smiles at you, and slides the box to you.

“what’s in the box, won?” you asked him.

“why don’t you find out.” he says, exiting the kitchen.

once he was out of the kitchen, jungwon hid behind the wall, hidden in plain sight.

he watches you open the box in confusion. he observes the way your lips lift into a smile.

you open the box to a ring.

you try picking up the ring from the box, but it was too heavy.

so you pulled harder to find that it wasn’t a ring at all.

it was a mug.

“so, did you like it?” jungwon stands next to you with a teasing grin on his face.

“i expected a ring, but this is so much better. now i can drink my hot chocolate from this.” you raise the mug.

jungwon laughs at your response, but it was only for a second. “i’ll get you a ring some day. but for now, enjoy your hot chocolate.”

ni-ki

you recently purchased a mirror online, but you didn’t know where you could hang it.

and you kinda needed some help with the hanging the mirror part.

so you ask your boyfriend ni-ki to help you set the mirror in place.

and being the obedient boyfriend that he is, ni-ki agreed to help you.

ni-ki already knows where he’ll place the mirror.

he waited for you to leave first before he did anything.

so when the day finally came, and you said that you’ll be running an errand, he knew he had to take this chance.

oh and would you look at that.

it's april fools day.

how perfect.

ni-ki stands up when he hears the door close shut.

he runs to the mirror and walks with it around the house.

he stops at a blank wall, it was perfect.

so, he hangs it up.

but not exactly what you’re expecting.

the boy hangs it to a height where you won’t be able to use the mirror.

he made sure the mirror was higher than the tip of your head.

ni-ki nearly topples in laughter as he imagines the look on your face when you come back home.

and he was right.

your reaction was the best.

“NI-KI, I CAN’T SEE A THING.”

“what, i’m sorry. talk to me when you get taller, that’s said with love.”

all rights reserved © enhalovebot

[sondepoch]

Hogwarts, Basically (Solomon x Reader)

When you finally leave RAD, the last thing you expect is to be whisked off by Solomon to a human school of magic. What you expect even less is for the white-haired mage to become your dormmate, and to be forced into a life of spells, potions, and wizardry. But what you expect the least is to find yourself pining after the sorcerer, reduced to something akin to a lost puppy, staring at him in longing at every chance you get. Or, correction: What you expect the least is for Solomon to feel the same way.

~Oneshot

MASTERLIST

At the very beginning, Lucifer warned you: stay away from Solomon. Never trust the shady sorcerer. Keep your distance at all costs, and do not interact.

But you never listened.

No, you were convinced that you knew better. That the white-haired mage had good inside him, that he wasn't a demon in human skin with an agenda more suspicious than Diavolo's own. For an entire year, you believed in him, and the two of you stayed by each other's side the whole time you were in the Devildom.

You have so many good memories with him.

The two of you pulled pranks on Asmo. Downloaded TikTok onto Lucifer's phone. Ran a scam where you auctioned your souls off on D-Bay and kept the Grimm. You egged the student council hall on April Fool's day, and you even shared your food with the guy.

So many good memories.

So many tainted memories.

If you had known where it would land you, you never would have allowed yourself to get close to him.

"I fucking hate you," You grumble, darting forward and flopping onto your bed the second Solomon opens the door, groaning as you burrow your head in your pillow. It reeks of magic, much like everything else in this godforsaken place, and you're entirely sick of it, but you're too exhausted to even care right now. "I can't believe you fucking did this to me."

"Oh please, you're acting like this is the end of the world." The mage closes the door, and you hear the sound of shuffling as he puts his books away for the day, taking off his school jacket. His actions are innocent enough, but you're certain he finds amusement in your state, and the very thought fills your lungs with even more resentment toward your current situation.

"It is the end of the world," You grumble in protest. "I'm supposed to be relaxing right now. Playing video games with friends. Hanging out at a club. Wasting time on twitter, sending celebrities stupid pickup lines. Not doing more schoolwork at another fucking school of magic."

Solomon laughs lightly, a warm sound that you wish you didn't like.

"Technically, RAD wasn't a school of magic," He tells you.

"Oh, who fucking cares? This school is! You've kidnapped me and dumped me in Hogwarts, basically, and I hate Harry Potter!"

"How unfortunate for you, then." Solomon grins boyishly as he rolls your body over, eyes twinkling with mirth as he gazes at your utterly unamused expression. "Relax. You'll begin to enjoy your time here, once you get used to the course load. I dare say you might even find it fun to learn about our magical heritage."

"When pigs fly, Solomon," You quip back, opting to ignore the fact that your potions teacher told you that your end-of-year project would actually be to create a solution potent enough to give farm animals wings.

You sigh grumpily and roll over, closing your eyes and relaxing quietly as the sorcerer pats your shoulder, quietly telling you not to nap for too long, so you have time to finish your homework later.

You ignore him, for the most part.

I'll never enjoy it here, you convince yourself. As much as you love spending time with Solomon, you don't have it in you to completely change your life and begin studying magic, irregardless of how much the teachers at this school want you to. Ignoring the sound of scribbles as Solomon begins his own homework, you tell yourself that the mage is wrong, that all you need to do is flunk out during this first semester and then you'll be returned to your normal life in your home country.

What you don't expect is for Solomon's words to be proven true.

One week into your time at the academy, you've just begun to grow used to the course load. The students at school stop raising eyebrows at your face, and as you begin to grow accustomed to the school, it becomes accustomed to you.

Two weeks in, you've already fallen into a loose rhythm.

By three weeks, you've developed what a less apprehensive person would call "friends," and by four weeks, you're genuinely giving your studies your all, learning spellwork and enchantments with an almost-passionate fervor.

By the time the month has ended, you've actually forgotten your plans to flunk out.

And though you're surprised by your change of heart, the never-fading smile on Solomon's face makes you suspect that he predicted this from the start.

You glance up at him from your textbook, momentarily halting your note-taking to study the way the enthralled light never fades from his eyes, even as he glances from book to book while continuing to draw a summoning circle for his demonology class, somehow looking pleased even as he cross-checks his image.

You groan.

You've found yourself glancing up at Solomon more and more often in these past few days, distracted from your own studying by the way his hair falls over his forehead, or the way his chest sometimes peeks through when he undoes the top buttons of his dress shirt, or the way he sometimes bites his lip cutely when going over a particularly difficult passage. Hell, you once spent five minutes staring at the sorcerer's hands, because they looked oh-so-soft as he took notes on the book he was deciphering.

The first few times, you convinced yourself that it was merely because of how eye-catching he was. And that was a fair enough excuse. After all, the colors of this academy are black and gold—Solomon's pale skin stands out against the dark fabrics of the uniform and the even-darker furnishings of your dorm room.

But after catching yourself gazing wistfully at his lips a few too many times, you were forced to confront the truth.

You have a crush on the aggravating, annoying, sassy, difficult, handsome, cute mage.

But that's not even the worst part.

You think he knows.

A warmth creeps onto your cheeks the moment you begin to think about all the instances where Solomon has caught you staring at him over these past few weeks. There are almost too many examples. Early in the morning, when his hair is all messed up. Right after breakfast, when his lips have changed color to whatever potion he drank. On your way back from school, when you walk back to the dorm together. During homework sessions like these. Right after he steps out of the shower—oh, he's caught you gawking at him far too many times after returning from the shower. (You tried to play it off by saying that you were merely studying his pact marks, but you know he knows the truth. His abs are loosely defined, but they're there, and you want to lick them so bad it hurts.)

"MC?" Solomon calls, and you blink.

Fuck, you think, suddenly realizing that you were staring at him while you daydreamed about him.

Add one more to the count, you think with an internal groan, silently wondering how many more times the sorcerer will catch you staring at him.

"You good?" He questions, and you can see the smirk he's trying so hard to fight off his face.

"Uh—I'm going to the library," You blurt, opting to avoid the sorcerer's gaze as you grab your jacket, looping your arms through it with deftness despite how utterly befuddled your thoughts are as you escape the room. You don't have your books with you, or your library card for that matter, but anything is better than responding to that all-too-playful question.

You flee before Solomon has a chance to say anything else, all but running to the stairs and sauntering on down until you're outside the dorm building, the air crisp in your lungs as you inhale sharply.

I'm such a mess, you think to yourself, the lingering warmth on your cheeks beginning to cool as you fold your arms and walk in the direction of what you hope is the library. A few people crossing you nod their heads in greeting, quick smiles thrown your way as you return them, but no one stops to converse with you, and you're left alone to debate your affections for the sorcerer.

You sigh, trying to sort out your thoughts.

Solomon must harbor some affection for you, you know that.

After all, he's spent far too many nights explaining foreign concepts to you, calmly navigating you through the waters of magic where he could have simply directed you to a tutoring board.

Moreover, you've seen how he behaves with other students here at the academy. No matter who has come to your dorm, be two kids it for a group project or a single friend in preparation to summon a demon they're interested in, there's a barrier of cool distance Solomon maintains with everyone else, one that simply seems to disappear around you.

Distance, you think, recalling the awkward way Solomon avoids physical contact with others, using sorcery to do things as simple as handing a glass of water to a guest. With you, though, you've both only grown closer, once-awkward pats now having turned into comfortably leaning on each other whenever one of you is tired. Last week, Solomon even ran a hand through your hair, and though he blinked afterward in surprise, as if he hadn't meant to do that, there was an undeniable feeling of closeness to his actions, something which others would hardly expect to see from him.

Another sound of frustration spills from your lips, aggravated at your situation with the sorcerer. The two of you are closer than others, but still not close. More than casual friends, but hardly intimate. Beyond nothing, but not yet something.

You kick a rock lying on the ground, watching it sail into the grass as you brood over the fact that Solomon is more confusing than the history of magic.

And you might brood some more, maybe even consider confessing your affections to the sorcerer in question, if not for the fact that you randomly look up and the building that greets you is not the school library.

You blink, abruptly turning around to check the way you came, but it is also a road that you've never seen, never heard of, and certainly have never navigated.

"Fuck," You mutter to yourself, realizing your predicament.

You're lost.

***

In your dorm room, Solomon is growing increasingly frustrated over the summoning circle he's been instructed to sketch. His fingers are supposed to be tracing the emblem of Mephistopheles, but it's so similar to Barbatos (and he's so used to drawing the summoning circle of Barbatos) that he keeps messing up at the end and has to restart all over again.

Or at least, that's what he tells himself is the cause for his repeated failures.

Solomon is hardly dumb—he's well aware that the reason for his utter inability to focus right now is caused solely and explicitly by you, and that this would not be happening if he weren't worried for your whereabouts.

But at the same time, there's nothing he can do about the fact that you're already gone, or the fact that he just messed up again on this seal.

A frustrated groan leaves Solomon's lips, inwardly cursing himself for driving you from the room. 

After all, he really needs to get this assignment done.

Then again, it's not like he would be doing much of a better job if you were still here.

The sorcerer can never find himself fully able to focus around you, eyes always drawn upward to study you. It feels like if he casts his gaze away for too long, he'll miss something—the way your eyes light up every time you understand a concept, the way your eyebrows furrow every time you don't. It's the little things he tries to pay attention to: how you silently nod your head at the end of every sentence you read to the way you aimlessly fumble with your blanket whenever an assignment bores you.

Solomon is positive that he's successfully picked up on every one of your little quirks, by now. At a single glance, he can tell what subject you're studying by the way you're sprawled out over your bed, and if he looks a little longer, he might even be able to tell how good a mood you're in based on the way you tap your pen against your notebook. Give him enough time, and he's even picked apart how the way you kick your feet in the air relates to how nervous you are for an upcoming quiz.

Yeah, Solomon really hasn't been doing too well in his school, with how much he's been focusing on you.

Of course, you don't notice it at all. No, Solomon cast a spell long ago which makes it look like he's studying diligently even as he gazes absentmindedly at the way you run a hand through your hair when you're tired, making it incredibly easy for him to catch all the little glances you've been giving him these past few weeks.

Does he feel guilty for watching you watch him?

Absolutely.

Does he think about removing the spell?

All the time.

Does that mean he will change anything?

Most definitely not.

The look of shock on your face every time he casually "catches" you staring at him is too attractive for him to stop, especially since the immediate state of fluster it induces is so amusing to watch.

But that doesn't stop him from regretting calling you out just now, because while he's pretty sure you know your way around the campus, he's also well-aware that whenever your head is in a jumble, you lose all sense of awareness.

I'll wait, he decides, rapping his pencil against the outline of the sketch he's working on, reaching for a ruler. I need to finish this assignment, anyway.

But then ten minutes turns into twenty, and by the time Solomon is done with his assignment, the hour is over, signaled by the four loud rings from the grandfather clock on the ground floor.

The mage glances at your empty bed, set just six feet across from his, and he frowns.

I'll wait a little longer.

But one hour stretches into two, and two stretches into three, and nearly four hours have passed by the time the sun sets, and Solomon is pacing back and forth in the dorm, glancing at the door every time he turns, in hopes that you'll walk through it.

Fucking hell, he thinks to himself, grabbing his academy jacket as he flips his book closed and shoves it onto his desk.

He isn't going to torture himself any longer like this.

Hell, he'll confess if that's what it takes to bring you back, because right now, he's going crazy cooped up in this room and there's only one thing that's going to calm him down.

Shoving his keys into his pocket, he yanks the door open, all final hopes of you standing on the other sides crushed when he sees the almost-empty hall, and the questioning eyes of students wondering why he's heading out when it's so close to curfew.

He huffs in exasperation, slamming the door shut as he walks out, long legs carrying him in the direction of where he suspects you got lost.

He's really fallen for such a troublesome person.

Then again, Solomon adores even that part of you.

***

You've never been so relieved to see a clump of white hair.

Or, well, maybe you have—you know, given that Mammon has saved you more than a few times from Lucifer's wrath—but you've never been so relieved in the human world to see a familiar, fluffy clump of white hair.

"Solomon!" You exclaim the moment you set your eyes on the mage, sprinting forward to capture him in a tight hug. He stiffens at the contact, and you inwardly note that this is probably the closest you've ever physically been to him, but you don't care. Maybe it's the instincts that were drilled into you after being surrounded by demons for a whole year, but you had seriously begun to think that you would die out here.

"How on earth did you get here?" Solomon asks incredulously, gazing at your surroundings.

"I, um." You suddenly feel embarrassed. "I got lost, and then I sort of just picked a direction and walked."

"You..." Solomon pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation, unable to even bring himself to repeat your words back to you. "You do realize that that's the worst possible thing you could have done, right?" The mage shoots a frown your way. "Do you even know how far off-campus we are right now?"

You ignore his words off with a smile, following him gleefully as he shakes his head in disapproval. "Then isn't it wonderful that I had you to come find me?"

You laugh, the sound filling the otherwise empty night, missing the way Solomon fights off an instinctive smile at the sound.

"If you turn tail and run away every single time I catch you staring at me, we're going to have an issue," The sorcerer mutters, more under his breath than to you. You ignore his words, neither wanting to nor knowing how to respond. "Your crush on me is only going to bring more trouble to us, if things continue on like this."

And that gets to you.

(And though you don't know it, the sorcerer is equally mortified by his statement. He certainly hadn't wanted to confront you like that.)

"You know?!" You exclaim, eyes round in horror. You always knew that he must have had his own suspicions, but for him to just come out and say it? You stare at the man with a mouth agape, raw embarrassment warming your cheeks for the second time today.

"Ah, yes," Solomon comments lamely, wincing when he hears how his words must sound. "I mean, ahem, I would actually, erm, consider myself, goodness look at that goose, to harbor similar sentiments.

"You...what?" You ask suspiciously, partially confident that Solomon just confessed but at the same time confused whether his words mean what you think they do. "You like me?" You ask hesitantly, watching the mage's expressions carefully.

"'Like' is such a strange word," Solomon begins. "One might consider it to be an expression of indifference, whereas another would—"

You cut the mage off with a sharp elbow to the stomach and a pointed glare, warning him to stop being around the bush.

"Fine," He mutters, shooting you a sulky glare. "Yes. I like you, okay? Are you happy now?"

A warm smile blooms on your face as you hear the sorcerer say those words, savoring the beautiful pink that swells on his usually-pale cheeks as he averts his eyes and crosses his arms.

"Yes, that does make me happy," You muse, grinning. "For how long?" You probably didn't have to ask that question—but Solomon's evident embarrassment makes it impossible not to milk this situation for all it's worth.

"Since...the Devildom," He mutters, the pink on his cheeks surging with even more prominence.

You blink at that.

The Devildom?

That's even longer than you've liked him!

"Wow," You confess, eyes slightly round in wonder. "I...I had no idea, this whole time."

"Yeah, I...kind of made sure of that."

"What do you mean?" You pause in your walk to glance at the man standing next to you. "How'd you stop me from figuring it out?"

"I, uh," Solomon scratches the back of his neck, glancing away sheepishly. "I may have used magic."

Wow.

Well, that—

Yeah, that was entirely expected.

A huff leaves your throat, and you cross your arms dramatically as you saunter ahead of Solomon, not bothering to acknowledge the fact that Asmo once warned you that, if Solomon ever started liking you, this was exactly the sort of thing he would do.

You pause, glancing right and then left as you approach a crossing, completely unsure of which way to go but unwilling to reduce yourself to asking the sorcerer from help. Not when you can feel the waves of apology radiating off him.

"Are you mad?" He asks when you stop, and the hesitant inflection of his voice only makes you fall for him more because of how annoyingly adorable you find it.

"Maybe," You respond, deciding to keep him in suspense. "But you can make it up to me."

Before Solomon can ask how, you walk in front of him and turn around such that you're facing him, one arm on your hip as you send a confident smirk.

"Given that we both like each other, see..." You trail off, standing in front of him with a devilish grin on your face as you wait for him to piece together what you're hinting at.

You see his eyes widen, the moment of realization dawning in his eyes as he understands what you're asking him to do.

Solomon doesn't hesitate much after that. He barely spends a single moment preparing himself, and then one hand is reaching for your cheek while his lips pull closer, and you savor the sight of his eyes closing as he presses his lips to yours, and then your own eyes are closed, basking in the feeling of warmth as you grin and lean into the kiss, lifting your own arms to his neck, looping them around to play with his hair the way you've thought about so many times.

Something about the situation is undeniably blissful, undeniably comfortable, and undeniably right as you both kiss, and the very notion that you could have ever been so hesitant about doing this makes you both laugh, the two of you smiling and giggling into the kiss like fools.

You lean back slightly, pulling away to beam at the sorcerer with a proud smile, but Solomon chases your lips, dipping his head forward and halting you from going further back by snaking a hand around your waist. Not at all minding this development, you grin as he turns the kiss passionate, slipping his tongue through your lips with a determined force you can't help but be turned on by, and then the lightheartedness of the previous moment is replaced by a sudden passion for more of this, more of the feeling of Solomon's mouth against yours, more of him.

You bring your hands to his chest, pushing him backward and onto a bench that could not be more conveniently placed as you press his body down onto it, and he doesn't bother commenting on how you're wrinkling his shirt when you grab fistfuls of it and straddle his lap. Or maybe he does try, but you'll never find out, because seconds later your lips are back to being pressed against his and everything else in the world disappears.

"Fuck," Solomon whispers, gasping when you part for air, his fingers just about to slip under your shirt as he caresses your waist.

"Yeah," You respond, knowing exactly what he's talking about. When your eyes dart from his flushed neck to his eyes, the look he gives you is nothing short of sinful.

Seconds later, the two of you are kissing again—because really, Solomon can't look at you like that and not expect you to immediately throw yourself at him—and his fingers really do squirm their way underneath your shirt, the feeling of his touch almost electric as his fingers grip your waist firmly.

And then it really doesn't matter that you're both still in public, that you're straddling Solomon on a public bench and that it's almost well curfew, because holy fuck you've both wanted to do this for way longer than anyone should have to wait, and now that you've started, nothing will pull you apart.

Bonus:

From his lovely little cloud in the heavens, Simeon cheers, a warm smile on his face as he watches his two favorite humans give in to the attraction that has always been painfully obvious to him.

He hums peacefully, internally wondering how he'll go about collecting his money from Lucifer, now that he's won their bet about how long it would take for the two of you to grow intimate—but his bliss is short-lived as he watches you tug Solomon's tie off, a light gasp leaving both his and Solomon's lips, though for two very different reasons.

"No!" Simeon cries, gasping dramatically with a hand over his chest as he realizes what is happening. "You're in public! In public!"

He moans in distress, falling to his knees as he sends a prayer up to Father for you both, his horror widening as he catches sight of buttons popping off your shirt as Solomon slips his hands underneath it, both of you starved and desperate for more contact than your clothes can provide.

"Little lambs!" He wails in horror, and all the other angels stop what they're doing for a moment to wonder what has their Simeon in such a twist, nearly every angel in the heavens listening to the sound of his utterly defeated whimpers that follow as he crawls back into bed, trying his best to forget the unholy sight that now plagues his mind.

"Forgive me, Father," He murmurs, fingers darting from his forehead to his chest, then right and left. But then, he thinks of a better prayer: "Forgive them."

Bonus bonus:

Centuries later, Simeon will reluctantly (and drunkenly) recount this tale to Asmodeus, who will immediately cheer in support. The fifth-born will claim to have always sensed the unspoken sexual tension between the two of you, and has always been an ardent supporter of "giving in to temptation," regardless of how public one's surroundings may be. After hearing Simeon's story, he'll order another round of drinks for the bar, paying for it himself in honor of everyone's two favorite humans, the demon cheering both your names loudly and downing a shot before promptly passing out on Simeon's lap.

MASTERLIST

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Fun fact: originally, the academy that mc and solomon are at was supposed to be RAS - the royal academy of Solomon - just like RAD, but solomon was the headmaster (and there was a corresponding RAM run by Michael in the Celestial Realm) :) Not fun fact: I’m also working on a diavolo fic right now and it feels like every word is a breath of air being ripped from my already asphyxiated lungs :)

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Thank you for reading <3

I do not own the rights to Obey Me! or any of the characters within it.

[rosy-cheekx]

Heat Without Warmth, Light Without Sight

This fic is for the @tma-valentines-exchange and was written for @barnabasbennett (pretty sure, at least!) AO3 link is in the source! Based on the prompt: rewrite episode 159 to feature Tim and Archivist!Sasha.

I’ve been waiting SO LONG to post this! I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter One: Embers

The archives are quiet. So quiet. Sasha can hear the tick of the clock on her desk and the hum of the radiator she had brought in so many months ago, back when her biggest concern was how cold her Archivist office was. Before the idea of heat reminded her of Tim in oh-so-many painful ways.

The Unknowing had been…bad. Daisy had been imprisoned in The Choke, Sasha left unconscious and Basira forever changed. She had seen it, she told Sasha later, the way Tim had stood amidst the rubble of plastic mannequins and brick and mortar, unscathed as smoke billowed into the sky, silhouetted in greys and blacks. It was terrifying, she said, in a completely different way than the Unknowing had been. Basira described Tim as unstoppable in that moment, a train bulleting towards destruction and revenge, a rage in his eyes that only intensified when he saw the unconscious form of Sasha James, bruised and lying in the rubble.

In Sasha’s six-month coma, she had missed a lot. Martin had explained things to her; a sad compassion in his eyes as he stirred sugar into tea. Tim had fallen to the Desolation, The Cult of The Lightless Flame calling him home after they had heard about his sudden resilience to heat and flame. It made sense. Tim had experienced so much loss and destruction in his life, losing Danny and Jon (and, temporarily, Sasha) due to the machinations of The Stranger. His connection to the Desolation had probably been growing when none of them, not even Tim, had noticed. Sasha tried reaching out to him; Tim was still employed by the Magnus Institute after all, but he was sullen at his desk, the air around him smelling faintly of burnt hair and the iced coffees he used to love now simmering slightly in his mug. Sasha didn’t think he could’ve been any more withdrawn than he had been in the ramp up to stopping the Stranger. But here he was, prickly and cold and altogether uninterested in Sasha’s attempts to reconnect with him.

Sasha unfolds the letter, singed at the corners. She must have just missed him. Again. Her heart pounds in her chest as she reads the words, written the slanted, neat print she knew so well.

Sasha,

If nothing else, I will miss you. But that loss is essential, Jude says, to feeding the spark that binds us all. They think Agnes Montague’s spark passed to me when I decided my loss of life was more important than the survival of The Stranger and their ritual. Something about total commitment to pain, self-destruction, etc. There is some satisfaction in knowing how unhappy they are about it, especially Jude. I think she really wanted to be special. You’d hate her. Maybe it’s cliché, but I don’t think I’m coming back from this. It all began, and it all must end. Who knows? Maybe I’ll finally be able to quit.

I    You are truly unforgettable, boss,

Tim.

Sasha had seen so many of the people she loved fall to the fears of this world in which they find themselves trapped. The loss of Jon had come first, when the thing that Was Certainly Not Jon had stolen him away under their noses. This discovery had come with the loss of the heart of their office: Martin. Realizing he had been in love with a lie had broken something in him, and while Sasha did her best to show him compassion, she couldn’t imagine going through it all in his place. The nature of Gertrude’s death had shocked her; Sasha had known her, had seen such a strong woman she had been. To see (or rather hear) her death reduced to a few cowardly gunshots felt…inadequate. Daisy had become softer after surviving the Buried, kinder to Sasha, but there the Hunt was still there, deep in her. Basira and Melanie were fine, but evasive, suspicious, too eager to wield a knife. And now?

Sasha had no friends, no one she could truly trust, no one left besides Tim. She hadn’t stopped trying to care for him, to make herself available, but she refused to keep her heart open for someone so clearly eager to move away from it all, even if that was motivated by a cult of fire and destruction and pain. But that love she had for Timothy Stoker was still there, the idiot who took her out for drinks and dressed up as her once for April Fool’s and had them all over for Guy Fawkes Day (should she had guessed it then, his eyes illuminated by the pyre, drinking in the light and heat of the flames?) and insisted he cook for everyone whenever he got the chance.

Eyes sweeping over the letter over and over, she read the words, trying to hear each of them in his voice, feeling something in her gut twist as she read her name is his handwriting, in his voice, over and over. Tim had said it so many ways: with mirth, frustration, exhaustion, and warmth. There was still so much left to say. There were so many more ways for him to say her name, and Sasha wanted to hear them all.

This letter? This would not be the last time he said her name. Sasha James, the Archivist, would make damn sure of that.

-

Sasha is hurrying through the Institute when she almost collides with Elias Bouchard. His hair is unkempt, shaggy from his time in prison, but he is dressed immaculately, black dress shirt rolled to his elbows and a tie that seemed to shimmer yellow-green when it catches the light.

“You-Elias, what the hell?” Sasha takes an involuntary step back, hand ghosting to the letter opener she had instinctively tucked into her waistband.

“Save the effort, Archivist. I’m only here to help, after all. My sources say Tim has left?”

“Sources?” Sasha spits the word, fingers resting against the mottled blue handle of the blade. “Please. There’s no need to hide what you are anymore, Elias.”

“Hmm, very well.” His fingers drum patiently on his jaw, one elbow elegantly balanced on the opposite wrist. He looks too calm, too relaxed for the anxiety and anger thrumming its way through Sasha’s chest. “So, you don’t want to know where he’s gone?” Fuck. Elias’s eyebrow arches expectantly, eyes staring past her as he focused on what she could now recognize as what she called the Knowledge.

“Elias Bouchard, t̶̡̟̲͓̩̜̣͕͇̟̱͉̹̽̋̑̑̅̊͒́̔̂͠ͅe̶̝͍̜̲̘̙̤̰̬̞͒͗l̴̛͕̜̟̟̰͑̿̎̎́͛͌̽̆͆̓̋̾l̴̄̈́̆͝��̟̤͚͉͔̼̏̇ ̷͖̙̠͕̜̮̬̟̝̰̫͍̆ṁ̶̨̗̮͍̖͍͖̱̟̍̽͜͝e̴̗̩͒̈́͛̊̽́̿ ̷̧̨̡̦̻̙͎̬̪̞͕͙͖̓͂͂͂͂̊̔̊̕̚͜w̴͈̖̦̒̾̀̽͑̓̑̎̂̇͗̂͒ḩ̸̩̺͎̤̳̰̘̱̣̍ę̵̫͚̖́̇͜r̷̢̘͍̣͚̠͚̫̦̭͌ͅͅͅẻ̵͓͖̆̀̒ ̵͇͕̱̬̻̖͔̲͇͇͊̓͊́̽̍̋̓̈́̎̿̆̕͘͝h̷̨̡̧̨̻̝̲̱̬̻͙̻͋́͒̈͆͛͛̒͂̉̈́̎͜e̴̡̪͓̘̳͇͙̪̠̳͈͔̳͕͗̓̉̎ ̵̢̡̟͍̬͖͔͎̹͇̞͗̓́́i̶̲̬̰͙̖̘̮̠̘̜̙̗̍̈́̀̌̔͌̊͋́̍͌̑̚͝s̶̞̱̥͚̽̔̏͠͝.”

Her voice echoes with persuasion, the smooth words rolling off her tongue before she could consider it. Elias sighs, seeming almost tired with her. “He’s in the Desolation.” Elias sighs, seeming almost tired with her. “Honestly, Sasha, I would have told you without you needing to ask like that.”

She tunes him out, her own Knowing searching for Tim and landing her only with a burning inside her skull. She hisses her pain through her teeth and focuses back on Elias, who seems almost amused.

God, what a bastard. “Ȟ̶̡̱͈̖̱̱̱̤̮̖̳̬̆̿͐͛̾́͗͠͝͝ͅͅo̷̡͎̙̓͗̋̂͊̏̏̅̚͘͝ẅ̶̢̨̧̝̖͚̦̱̟̹̼͕͌͌͌̋̒̆͑̈́̓͛͠ ̶̱̩̜̖̫̼̰̐d̴̢͈͍̗̱̀̉̽͋o̷̢̡̫͈̼̺̹̩̥͕͕͘̕ ̵̢̭̦͍̬͖̪̹͍̬̝͝I̶͕̥̱̤̽̿̃̃̂͐̔͒̒̇̆͗̚̕ ̴̛̞̜̘̥͓̙̗̫̰̙̼̝̀͗͋̊́̕ḡ̴͈͈̗̜̦̇͐̏̿̾̅́̆̎̂̊̕͠e̷̡̡̲̘̞̟̤̗͓̺̱̣̘͐̆̈́̔̎̃͋́ṯ̶̨̺̜̪̺̼̼̟̽̽̍̾̊́͊́̒̕͘ ̵̢͔̟͈̘͚̫̩̭͑̃͘ͅt̸̪̊͛̽̀͒h̴̘̫̖̤̜͕̻̺̯̼̦̟͔̋̍̋̈̌̃͐̈́̍̋e̶̢̛͚͉͕͓̪̖̘͖͇͇̫̲͉̐̀̈́̋̄̃̆̽̃̍͊̓ͅr̵̨͍͖̜͕͈̱̤̤̭͈̳̯̜͈̆͒̾̎̓̓̀̐̈̀̂̉̕͠e̴̦̱̺͓̝͕̥͔̮̓͐͛̚?̸̛̝̞̦͈̦̿͐͌̂̌̆͂̆̔̋͗͒̊”

“Honestly, Sasha, you’re wearing yourself out. Timothy and Jude just left. They were in the library; I’m sure you can follow them. Let your mind follow theirs. Find the right string, if the Mother will pardon my analogy, and pull it. I’m sure they left the door open for you.” He winks, as if enjoying a private joke, and turns on a polished leather shoe, striding towards the Archives with purpose.

Sasha redirects her course and hurries to the library. Is this a trap? Almost definitely. But honestly, she doesn’t care. Rosie, head of the institute while Elias had been “previously occupied," had been the last to leave the Institute, Sasha Knew as she ran, clocking out at 18:02. The librarians and assistants were gone. It was just her. Well, she and Elias, certainly. She was already a pawn in this fourteen-way game of chess; she may as well take down some bishops if this was going to be her end. She has never met Jude Perry, but Tim was right about one thing: she certainly already hated her.

-

In the library, Sasha halts in the doorway, taking in the scene in front of her. The heat is excruciating on her cheeks as she sees a blazed trail of singed books, paper, and manuscripts. The burning in her face and soul is caused not by any fire, but by the sheer anger that someone dared mar her memories of this library, where she had met so many of the people she loves. Loved. No, loves, she decided with certainty. Jon is gone, the true memory of him lost to everything but the errant polaroid, Martin is all but gone, a shell of the warm man they had known, and Tim is just out of reach. But despite all this, maybe in sheer spite of everything they’ve been through, Sasha still present-tense loves each of them.

It is that love, she thinks, that guides her now, more so than the omniscient Eye that paves her way to the Desolation, the scar on reality widening and opening for her before it swallows her whole, the library crumbling into ash around her.

One way or another, she was going to end this.

[joezworld]

Delta Dawn (10/10)

April, 1995

“Soooo...” Siobhan asked James teasingly over lunch. “When’re ye gonna put a ring on it?”

James, who had not been expecting such a question, spluttered and choked for a minute as Siobhan fell over laughing. 

“I’m sure that I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he said at last, his face going as red as his paintwork. 

“Sure ye don’!” She giggled. “Just like I’m sure that ye and Del’ ‘ave been shagging each other senseless for fifteen years! You’ve got ta make an honest diesel of ‘er at some point, Red!” 

“We-” James choked.

“-are no’ subtle. Everyone else is just blind.” 

“Well - I - You - we - What about you and Declan?” James eventually managed. 

Siobhan shrugged. “Deccie’s too much o’ a puss to ask me - he’s afraid ‘is parents won’t like ‘im ‘marrying down’. Which, considerin’ that his parents are like, crazy rich Indians who care only about status, I canno’ really blame ‘im”. 

“So if he’s not going to marry you, then why are you cheeking off to me?”

“Cause I’m gonna ask him to marry me.” The woman said smugly. “Deccie’s parents won’t be able to say no if I ask because it’d look bad to their friends - they just don’t think I’d do it because they think that girls are weak and subdued!”

James goggled. “They have met you, right?”

“I know, right?” She stretched out on James’ bufferbeam. “I just have to find out his ring size and I’ll do it.”

“Ring size?” 

“Oh yeah, ye lot don’ have those. It’s what you put on yer finger to say that ye tied the knot.” She pointed to the fourth finger on her left hand. “It goes ‘ere. Every girl in ma school knew what 'er size was, but blokes are hopeless.”

“Hmm...” James looked pensive. “I might be able to help with that.”

Siobhan raised a surprised eyebrow. 

--------------

Later

“Declan!” James called across the platform. He’d become friends with Siobhan’s boyfriend from the moment they’d met - the sharp-dressed Indian businessman was one of the few people who kept up with fashion at the same pace as James did, and they frequently spoke about the latest trends. 

“James! Have you seen this?” Declan smiled as he trotted over with a fresh copy of GQ.

--

Later Still

“He’s a size 11.”

“How did-”

“-And he likes coloured gemstones - apparently they’re ‘conflict-free’, whatever that means. Make sure that the stones have some meaning about you, because he thinks about you more than him. And don’t worry, he doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“How?” 

“I’m James the Splendid Engine - I can do anything.”

-----

One Week Later

Siobhan asked Declan to marry her a week later. James was away on a train when she did it, so he didn’t see it, but apparently Donald and Douglas caused quite the commotion. 

-

That Night

“-so then Donald keeps whistling even after everyone stopped applauding, and it turns out that he’d managed to jam his whistle open!” Henry had seen the whole thing, and was eagerly relaying the story to James at the coaling stage. “I know that it’s a special event, but I’m glad Gordon didn’t see it - he’d never let him hear the end of it.”

They both had a good laugh over that - much to the consternation of Gordon, who knew they were laughing at him but not why. 

-

“Have you put any thought into it?” Henry said once the laughter had died down. 

“Have you?” James asked quietly. Why was everyone asking him about this?

“Of course I have - and it’s illegal.” The green engine sighed deeply. 

“What? I thought that the Magistrate in Arlesburgh...”

“That man can do many things, but he can’t make gay marriage legal.”

“Oh.” That brought James up short. “If it were?”

“Yes.” Henry said immediately. 

No more was said. James was lost in thought, and Henry was fairly sure he knew what about. 

Gordon, who was watching them suspiciously, wondered whether the entire Island had gone crazy when he wasn’t looking, or if he had gone insane and no-one had bothered to tell him. 

-

James was somewhat more subdued than normal for the next few days. It did not go unnoticed, but he refused to say why, only insisting that he was fine, and was thinking about something. 

The Fat Controller made several attempts to discover the root of the problem, and only grew more confused as each engine claimed to have heard a different reason why. 

-

“I know that you have something to do with this.” Gordon snapped at Henry after the Fat Controller left the sheds. 

“Whatever could you mean?” Henry asked, the very picture of innocence. 

“Henry. Look at me. Look at my face.” 

“I am. Perhaps that’s why James is so upset - there’s a hair growing out of your nose at a most upsetting angle.”

“I will put you back into that tunnel.”

“No, you won’t.” Bear said, suddenly awake and interested in the conversation. Gordon had been joking, but the Hymek wasn’t, and his tone implied violence if the topic wasn’t changed. 

----------------------

A Few Weeks Later

“Psst. Psst. Miss Delta, over here!” One of the coaches whispered to Delta from the entrance of the coach shed. 

“What is it, Norma?” Delta grumbled. The coaches had been decidedly on-edge around her for the past few days, and it was starting to become wearisome.

“Can you please come into the sheds? There’s something very important that you need to see!” The second-class coach was looked like she was letting Delta in on a secret, which instantly put the diesel on the alert. 

“Why?” She said, visions of past April Fools Days fresh in her mind. 

“I can’t tell you out here!” 

“How am I supposed to get in there?” Her engine may have been running, but there was no crew in sight - and even if they were here, there was no way that her driver would run her into the carriage sheds based on some gossip. 

“You could ask Miss Siobhan!” The coach said brightly. 

Delta blinked. Donald and Douglas’ daughter/driver was not usually drawn into the coaches’ cockamamie schemes, but was clearly standing by the fuel pumps holding - but not reading - a magazine like she was waiting to be noticed. 

“Huh?” Siobhan said with faux-ignorance. “What am I doing?”

“Could you move Miss Delta into the shed dear?” The coach didn’t even bother with pleasantries, and Siobhan didn’t even bother answering, instead springing into action - throwing her magazine to the ground and clambering into Delta’s cab before the diesel had time to process what was happening. 

“Oi!” She yelped as Siobhan poked and prodded at levers until Delta started moving. “You can’t do that! You’re not qualified on diesels!” 

“I’m a smart girl, I can figure it out.” Siobhan smiled as she rolled Delta into the carriage sheds. 

“Figure it out, my buffers! If I go through the opposite wall...” Delta’s shouting faded as she entered the sheds. 

-

From across the yards, Gordon and Thomas watched as the red diesel dissapeared into the dark confines of the carriage shed, the door closing behind her. 

“Thomas, do you ever feel like there are things on this island that we are not aware of?”

“I think you must be bad at noticing things if you don’t know what’s going on right in front of you.”

“Coming from you, that’s like the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Oh really? I know everything, Gordon.”

“Tell me what the word ‘drip’ means, then.”

“It means shut up Gordon.”

“Really? I thought it meant ‘small engines who tell embarrassing stories to authors and then are surprised when those stories are published.’”

“Why don’t we speculate wildly about why Delta was just driven into the carriage shed, hmm?”

“I thought that you knew everything, Thomas. Why don’t you just tell me what she’s doing in there?”

“...”

“What’s that? Is it possible that you don’t know? How strange! I thought that you were omnipotent.”

“shut up Gordon.”

-----------

Inside the carriage shed, Delta was in the dark - literally. All the lights were off, and the roll up door had rolled down behind her. 

“What kind of Mickey-Mouse bullshit is this?” She muttered to the empty room, too caught up in the entirety of the event to realize that Siobhan had scampered back down her cab ladder and vanished into the building. 

After a moment of quiet murmuring in the dark, a small voice called out. “all right girls - on three, two, one!”

Before Delta could ask what was happening, the light over one track snapped on. A single coach - Delta thought she was Dulcie, one of Duck’s coaches - sat in the circle of illumination. She smiled at the diesel for a moment before a piano of all things, started playing over the building’s PA system. 

Delta dawn, what’s that flower you have on, could it be a faded rose from days gone by? The coach was now singing, and Delta was now thoroughly baffled. 

She's forty-one and her daddy still calls her, 'baby' All the folks around Brownsville say she's crazy 'Cause she walks down town with a suitcase in her hand Looking for a mysterious dark-haired man

It was bad form to interrupt when somecoach was singing - even if they were clearly deranged, but when this song was over there was going to be some explaining to do. 

In her younger days they called her Delta Dawn Prettiest woman you ever laid eyes on Then a man of low degree stood by her side And promised her he'd take her for his bride

For obvious reasons, Delta was familiar with this song, and was rather startled when more lights snapped on, revealing another one of Duck’s coaches - Isabel perhaps? - and Marie and Lilith, two of the first class coaches from the Express, who were all providing backing vocals. 

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today To take you to his mansion in the sky?

The centre of the shed was still shrouded in darkness when the lights on the edges snapped on, but Delta wasn’t really in a position to notice, as she was too busy goggling at the sudden appearance of an entire express rake’s worth of coaches on the remaining tracks, all of whom began singing the chorus of the song. 

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today To take you to his mansion in the sky?

A light in the back flickered to life, showing Siobhan’s fiancé Declan playing an electric keyboard. Siobhan was next to him with a tambourine. Who is doing this, and how many people are involved? Delta wondered to herself as the music built to the last verses. 

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today To take you to his mansion in the sky?

The lights in the centre of the sheds began to brighten, revealing a very familiar set of shapes - on the tracks to either side of hers, Bear and Henry slowly became visible, grinning like lunatics. 

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today To take you to his mansion in the sky?

Finally, the light in the centre of the shed turned on, revealing -

“Jamie?!”

James’ smile was threating to break his smokebox in half. “Hello gorgeous.”

“Hello yourself,” Delta said, still extremely overwhelmed. “Did you put all this on? Why?”

“Because I wanted to show you how much you mean to me.” James said sincerely, drawing an “aaaw” from the coaches. 

“That’s - Jamie - you didn’t have to...”

James smiled. “Of course I didn’t - but I wanted to. Especially because I wanted today to be special.”

“Why?”

Bear opened his mouth, seemed to realize what he was doing, and then immediately shut it again.

Delta looked at James as she began to put the pieces together. Her mouth dropped open. “Jamie. Are you...”

“Asking you to marry me? Yes I am.”

---

Across the Yard

“Are you really going to bring that up now? It’s been almost fifty years and I didn’t tell him about that!”

“Well I certainly didn’t run my mouth to every clergyman I saw running around with a notebook, so it must have been you.”

“It wasn’t! And thank goodness for that, by the way! Can you imagine the size of your smokebox if the stories were called ‘Gordon the Big Engine and His Friends?’ I can’t imagine that there’d be room on the Island for the rest of us!”

 “The only reas - what on earth?”

Thomas and Gordon were drawn out of their bickering by an explosion of cheers from within the carriage sheds. It was loud even from their side of the yard - it must have been cacophonous inside the building. 

“You know what Gordon?” Thomas said as the cheers continued with no sign of quieting down. “I take it back. There are things going on in this Island that we don’t know about.”

[alley-catz-vs-daybreakers]

Only Fools Rush In

AC & DB drama track

Happy Birthday Gentaro! 🎉

Leading up to April 1st, a pair of Division leaders find them in a rather humorous mishap. However, due to a certain someone’s desire for inspiration, all six members are brought into the chaos. Meanwhile, the amused author looks on.

Kosuke: Yumeno-sensei? This is Furuhata Kosuke, you wanted to meet with me about a book cover?

Gentaro: Apologies, you seem to have the wrong person you see, for I am merely a poorly paid cosplayer. Meant to promote the recent book of a different author, titled “Tales of Genji.”

Kosuke: Yumeno-sensei, that is a book most know already know by name. Regardless, do you have any ideas for how you’d like for your cover to look?

Gentaro: I have no preference, though I would prefer it to an extravagant and bright one to catch eyes on the selves as it is different from my usual stories. A stand out story must have a stand out cover after all.

Kosuke: R-right. So may I see the overview to get an idea?

Gentaro: I am not yet done with that actually. Though I may give it to you in a few days. The first of April perhaps?

Kosuke: Yes. That works.

Gentaro: Also, about that cover.

Kosuke: Yes?

Gentaro: That was a lie. A simple design will do.

Kosuke: A-Ah. I see. . .

Gentaro: I will be off then. do enjoy the cake.

Kosuke: Wait what?!

Sever: Here you go sir. This was paid in advance.

[Door closes]

Gentaro: Now then, to see what unfolds.

Gentaro’s story: A young lady is to meet with her friend at a cafe when a stranger takes a seat beside her. He pretends to be her boyfriend as he claims he is being followed by numerous admirers. Along the way, they bond and find they went to the same school. Her friends however do not like him and in the end they must separate. Along the way, there are hints as to something must be off. Turns out, the man was indeed a highschool classmate whom she had a rush with, but one who was ostracized by her friends and moved away. Her visit to the cafe is for the last place she saw him, where he rejected her before he left.

Gentaro: Such an tragic tale, to feel the stings of love is truly a misfortune thing—

Emiko: There you are! Yumeno-sama! ~ ♡

Gentaro: Speaking of. 

Gentaro: I know not of this Yumeno you speak of young lady. I am merely a poor, homeless young man who has spent the very last sum of his money to buy these outdated clothes and some bitter coffee. 

Gentaro: Do you really not have anything better to do than disturb the unfortunate?

Emiko: Huh? Homeless? But you’re said-ooooh! You’re lying right? Sorry Yumeno-sama but cha can’t fool me! ~ ☆

Emiko: So you found me ‘cause Ramuda needed a favor right? Where is he? Is he hiding? 

Gentaro: About that, Ramuda’s not here, that was a lie. I just said that to get you here. For an informant you’re not very cautious are you? 

Emiko: Hey! I can be cautious! You just don’t seem suspicious. But why do you need me Yumeno-sama? Doooo you want me to find someone? 

Gentaro: You’re close but not quite. I actually need you to accompany someone for awhile. They’re waiting inside for you right now. Oh and take this with you, [hands slip of paper] the table number is on the back. But do not open it until you meet him.

Emiko: An escort job? I don’t think I’ve done that before, but it sounds like fun. Okay, you can leave it to me! Bye bye Yumeno-sama! ~ ♡

[walks inside the cafe as Gentaro leaves]

Emiko: Whooooa~ It feels really homey in here, so cute! 

Emiko: Hmmmm, table #6. I wonder what this guy is li—

Kosuke: ? ? ? 

Emiko: ? ? ? 

Emiko: Kosuke! [glomps him] Hello! What’s up! What’cha eating? Is it yummy? Can I have some!

Kosuke: Ah! Emiko-san! Um, yes, this is very good, and you can certainly have some if you’d like. [slides over plate]

Emiko: Really? Thank you! ~ ♡

Kosuke: Why are you here by the way? Do you have business with Ramuda-san?

Emiko: Well I actually owe Ramuda a favor, but I guess Yumeno-sama’s the one giving me a job today. What about you?

Kosuke: Ah! I had a meeting with Yumeno-sensei about a book cover of his. It seems that Ramuda-san recommended me to him.

Emiko: Cool cool! ~ ☆ Then that makes this way easier, ‘cause you’re actually my assignment today. Yumeno-sama said I have to escort you somewhere.

Kosuke: Escort. . .me? To where?

----------

Natsuki: I don’t get why you had to drag me along with you.

Haruto: Because an unknown number told me about where Ko-chan was and he might have a stalker.

Natsuki: This makes us the stalkers you numbnut.

Haruto: Dude, looks like he’s on a date with that cutesy Harajuku leader girl. . .

Natsuki: What?!

----------

Seiichi: Look I’m sure she’s fine. Emiko’s a tough girl, she can handle herself.

Hiroshi: That much is clear. But she’s not one to run off with a client without blabbing about it first. Plus whoever called us here clearly has ulterior motive, it could be them.

Seiichi: They did sound pretty sketchy, but it’s nothing we haven’t dealt with befo—

Seiichi: Dude, look at that window. That cafe over there!

Hiroshi: Yes, it’s just a cafe. What’s so special about—Is that her? With, Akihabara’s leader??

Seiichi: Wait is she on a date?!

----------

[they opened up Gentaro’s paper in suprise]

Emiko: . . .

Kosuke: . . .

Kosuke: . . . “Have an enjoyable date?”. . . Oh. . . This was a setup. . . What do we do?! I mean- you’re getting paid for this and I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get money but- why?! You’re like a sister!

Emiko: Eeeeeh?! A date! Like a date date! But you’re like my big brother! I don’t want you to have to pay for this. 💦 Plus I’ve never been on a date before! Ramuda are you in on this too?!

Kosuke: Ahhhhhhh. . . this is really bad! What do we do?! Does just hanging out here count?!

Emiko: I-I don’t know! Maybe! *turns beet red* U-umm. . . . . . . . . *goes quiet & looks down*

Kosuke: I’m not really the type to use swear words, but. . .

----------

Haruto: Hey, Natsu. I think Kosuke’s actually flirting with her. She’s blushing like crazy. (whistles) who knew Ko-chan could do such a thing.

Natsuki: You must be seeing things, besides, finish your food. We need to go, I don’t have all day.

——

Seiichi: Are they actually flirting?? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that embarrassed.

Hiroshi: Hmph, together or not that fiend better not try anything.

Seiichi: Well, if this is really the client then maybe we should stay out of it.

Hiroshi: *sighs* I suppose you’re right, but I still want to know about that number—. . . Don’t look now, but do try to hold your temper.

Seiichi: Oi what temper! What are you looking at anyways? Huh? . . . It’s the other guys from Akihabara!

Hiroshi: I thought I told you to hold your temper. 💦 Now you’ve given us away.

Natsuki: Oh look, we’re just a squad of stalkers.

Haruto: Natsu! Don’t call us that!

Seiichi: He he he, stalker squad. Not bad coming from you losers!

Hiroshi: Well that’s one way to start things off. If I may add, what exactly are you two doing here.

Natsuki: My little brother got a text telling him where Kosuke was with a photo. He got scared and came over. Judging from things though, we were all just chess pieces for someone’s amusement.

Haruto: Yeah! It was a creepy message tho!

Natsuki: And I was dragged along, though I believe that if a certain someone thought things through, he could have reasoned that Kosuke is more than capable of defending himself.

Hiroshi: Hmm. Unfortunately, I’ll have to agree with you. We got a call not too long ago from an unknown saying Emiko was helping a friend. They too sent us a picture of where she was, at this very location.

Seiichi: So does that mean someone’s stalking them both? More importantly, are they really dating?!

Hiroshi: I can hardly see that as more important, but it seems we have two mysteries to solve.

Natsuki: That implies us four working together.

Haruto: Awww! Give em a little chance!

Natsuki: Don’t you dare go a tirade about going with the flow and disregarding everything else.

Haruto: I don’t do that! Much. . .

Seiichi: *whispers* Oh great, this must be my lucky day.

Hiroshi: Enough Seiichi, it appears we have no choice. However, do try to keep your brother on a short leash, boy.

Natsuki: Same goes for you old man, except this time it’s your ward.

Haruto: Geeze Natsu, you’re real riled up.

Natsuki: Oh. I’m sorry, not my fault the geezer’s insufferable.

Hiroshi: Right back at you.

Seiichi: Tch. You guys are one to talk! Especially that barking dog of yours!

Natsuki: If you want to lump us together then either stop calling me a child, or call yourself one.

Haruto: Rude! I ain’t a dog! Though they are really nice and fun to play with. . . so. . .

Hiroshi: So the little mocking bird finally speaks. Truly an incredible sight.

Seiichi: Pfffft ha ha ha! Are you really that dumb! You know I’m trashing ya right!

Natsuki: Last time I checked, it’s not me who’s constantly stuck in rut. And also, next time, try to choose a bird species that wasn’t helpful in Darwin’s theory of evolution hm?

Haruto: Hey! Aren’t you a bit too young to go trash talking everyone? Like I dunno, wait for like a competition of somethin’ I guess. Throwing hands isn’t the only way to solve your problems kid.

[cafe doors burst open]

Emiko: Wait wait please don’t fight! What’s going on out here!

Kosuke: This is in public! Please be careful!

Alley Catz: ! ! !

DayBreakers: ! ! !

Emiko: *tearing up* Why are you guys fighting about noooooow! This is embarrassing! ~

Seiichi: Not this again! 😰 P-Please don’t cry.

Hiroshi: Y-Yes, forgive the intrusion m’lady.

Kosuke: I certainly look forward to your excuse as to why you’re practically fighting on the streets.

Natsuki: . . . Haruto

Haruto: u-um... I uhh, was scared?

Emiko: What have I told you guys about starting fights? I can tell you started it too, bullies. Bleeeeeh! *sticks out tongue*

Kosuke: How does one. . .nevermind. Scared for what.

Haruto: Your safety duh! Some creep sent a pic of you and your location. And now we come to see you on a date!

Hiroshi: Right, we’re here for that very same reason. Someone called us claiming they knew where you were and we thought you might be in danger.

Seiichi: I knew you were fine but we didn’t know you were on a date with the beanpole!

Kosuke: Wait! No! It’s not a date! I was here on business!

Natsuki: Stop letting him call you a beanpole first.

Emiko: It is not a date! At least not a real one . . . *blushes* Look I’ll explain later ok! Plus, Kosuke’s not a beanpole, he’s cute just the way he is Seiichi!

Seiichi: That’s not what I meant. 💦

Kosuke: Oh! I don’t find anything offensive in that! It’s just a nickname!

Natsuki: Where’s your pride and self presevation?

Haruto: I think we all know where that is Natsu.

Natsuki + Haruto: Nonexistent.

Kosue: *blushes* (mumbles) I’m not that bad about it. . .

Emiko: *blushes* A-anyways, go home you two! Or else. . o-or else. . . Just go! And no more stalking!

-----------

Kosuke: hm? A package? Oh! The summary! 

Kosuke: “Ruby Chocolate. Brought to a cafe, Aiko meets her first love on a whim, only to find their lives have been intertwined for years. However, her friends dissaproval will test their relationship.”

Kosuke: . . . Well, it is my job.

-----------

Emiko: Yay! Package for me! Wait, I didn’t order a book. Did I?

Emiko: “Ruby Chocolate” “Brought to a cafe, Aiko meets her first love on a whim, only to find their lives have been intertwined for years. However, her friends dissaproval will test their relationship.”

Emiko: Aww how cute. This is from. . . Yumeno-sama! *blushes* Wait a second he really did set us up!

-----------

Gentaro: *sipping tea* What a wonderful birthday present I have given myself.

[fandom-sheep]

Fundy Dream SMP Chaos 01 APR 21

Delayed Liveblogging Part 1/1

I’m late cause I was on Wills stream.

He was laughing and complaining about not being able to burn things.

He’s happy he made a thing.

Oh no. Why is he tnting the castle and arsoning?

Why is Fundy causing problems on purpose?

Fundy honey please don’t break the holy land.

Oh it’s supposedly a fake server.

I need to read chat more to learn what is happening.

I guess I trust chat with fake smp?

OH WAIT! It’s April first!

I expected Fundy to prank us but I’m honestly too stupid for my own good sometimes.

Alright install hacks. Let’s go.

Chat has been burned before today.

Just casually looking at the reach mods.

The reason I don’t trust this is be a fake server is because he was on the real server earlier.

Fundy honestly might just be trying problems on purpose and it wouldn’t surprise me.

Sneaking under the half door! Oh wait never mind.

Oh no. Not memory dream stuff. Please your chat will cry.

Arson the Tommy house.

Arson the trees.

Oh an awesome old house.

Ah yes more tnt.

Fox boy has had quite the explosion obsession lately.

Upwards MLG. So talented.

I still don’t trust this not to be real. Because Fundy very well might explode things.

My dog is laying on my foot.

Lots of explosions.

Making more tnt nice.

Fundy gets banned arc! Let’s goooo.

Ok I want to see Fundy make this shot.

Explosion hour!

You can do it!

Chat is so divided between encouraging chaos and desperately hoping this is an April fools prank.

It’s still April first over there isn’t it?

1000% cannon

I love how Fundy understands that people do what they are told not to. So he tells them not to prime.

So close.

Come on! Explosion!

FOR THE PRIMES!

Yesssss!!!

MLG Fire. All the talent of this man.

I was so excited for Pokémon cards. But no face cam.

Wait don’t do Pokémon cards. We can’t see. 😢

Ah yes, Pokémon card asmr...

I wish I could see the cards. I love Pokémon cards.

I don’t know what some of these Pokémon he is vaguely describing are.

Oh wait! What was the last one???

Oooo what is it? What is it?

Rainbow glitter doesn’t limit it.

I could not understand that name. I can’t tell if it’s good.

Also Fundy. Time to look at this card.

Quit retaking the picture and just post it.

I swear he is enjoying toying with us.

We’re being shot while he’s trying to take a picture.

Ok time to check the bird site.

I have replied to the tweet with the requested phrase.

I don’t believe it’s worth a lot but it’s pretty.

Finally we’re done being stabbed by the skeleton.

Skeleton coming into close shot range.

Please don’t drown sir.

He’s comin’

Anyway back to causing problems.

Or you know back on memory lane...

Oh wait nevermind. Problems on purpose.

Really cool idea?

Another lovely ranged shot.

Aww. Didn’t quite make it.

Again didn’t quite make it.

Lazy way now.

“Eek” -Fundy

That’s one way to get revenge.

Chat keeping on calling for the death of Michael.

Casually sneaking into creative cause he’s out of tnt.

Tnt balloon launcher!

Oh Fundy planning on causing trouble at the other prison.

Tnt launcher let’s go.

Oh a being donated 100 lovely.

They deserve to have a tnt launcher named after them.

The chests being full has me suspicious but I still doubt the boy is truly causing problems on purpose.

Tnt launcher did not work.

L the streamer.

Oh Niki is going live on the smp. I suppose that’s one way we can find out if it’s the true smp.

Off they went. But it’s not accurate.

We’re just working with Fundy to cause trouble.

Nope. He just can’t do it.

Wow he’s flying like magic! (And covering that with tnt)

Making homemaker a bigger target isn’t going to work.

He’s gathering so many arrows.

Not a single one hit. Awesome looking but a lovely failure.

I tried to check on Nikis stream but the only thing that happened is I had to watch an ad to get back to Fundy.

Also Niki was hosting Minx. I missed her.

Awesome explosion Fundy.

Ah. Auto build.

Oh we auto built a bunch of signs. And none of them have the message.

Fungi grave. With diamonds. Lovely.

I am enjoying this even if I know better.

Ah. A lovely pile of tnt.

Poof!

Someone should have let Fundy have tnt sooner.

Casual flight.

I always love the music on Fundy’s streams. Just That lovely nostalgia.

Just piles of tnt by the hotel.

Chat is so panicked.

I don’t think most of them know it’s April first.

Oooo are we gambling?

Nope not gambling. But it did work gorgeously.

I’m not a griefing kind of person, but this does my heart good.

Enjoying problems.

“Oh what’s this place” adds tnt “gone” -Fundy

Come on chat people. Just encourage him. Quit saying check the date and that it’s a fake server. Just role with it.

Oh that was a very pretty explosion.

Exploded early but it worked (stupid egg bits)

A gorgeous sideways explosion.

We still aren’t destroying... oh wait. We are exploding. No sign.

No escape. But he survived. And the prime bell is still safe.

Castle explosion time.

I’m kinda sad about the castle I’ll admit. But I’ll still up for a good explosion.

Made the lil house and now he explodes things.

Chat blowing up the rainbow castle isn’t homophobic. Hush.

Oooo shaders. That’ll look pretty.

Cant wait to see the pretty screenshots the artists use.

Probably a back up. We’ll see.

Oh I’m also a bit sad about the museum. But you know. If we gotta explode things we gotta explode things.

I can’t wait to see the shaders with this.

Struggling to explosions.

Oh pretty. And the hotdog survives!!!

Cinematic. Beautiful.

Donos playing along saying he’ll be banned. Or donos just confused.

This boy truly pretending he hacked his way into creative on the smp.

Ok that was a pretty cinematic shot.

Holo mellons

Sniff raid! Lovely!

Also the person telling them to check out foolish’s stream. Hush. Let us worry people.

Oh did Fundy build the funky cube thing? I doubt but still.

Prison time.

Oh got to get the skeppy and bad house

And whatever that pit building is.

Everyone still talking about how it ain’t real. Quit it y’all. Come on. Join the joke.

Our dearest mods trying to keep everyone from spoiling it.

The prison is a really pretty build. And it does look explodable.

Explode the prison. Yes and 5up is hot is what are winning.

The no’s can’t catch up. It’s fire time.

You can tell the prank has failed, but it’s still good for the heart to see it explode. It is still a game after all as emotionally attached as we have gotten to it.

A small thing. A small explosive thing.

Everyone changing lag already.

Everyone already ready to fight Fundy if he were to blow up Michael.

Button time.

Oh we even have the cool undertake music.

And the cannon didn’t reach.

Auto build plus lots of tnt.

This is the grand finale of the prank I believe.

I might to go foolish after this. Get some chaotic building man.

Prime bell!!!

Poof and pop.

Oh that was pretty.

Wait... inner wall...

Well. Lore people take your notes on prison construction.

This knowledge will help you on your quest later.

Prison couldn’t even be broken by a fox with a tnt canon.

Phil Raid! Hooray!

Please be a real raid. I want the extra half hour of chaos.

Even though the fox should be yelled at to go to sleep.

Oh. Was it a real Phil raid? I half expected it not to be.

The chat is both confused and chilling.

You get that hype train rich people.

Walking around trying to pretend we haven’t been blowing everything up.

Casually walking around showing off his destruction.

It’s not even April first over theee anymore is it?

Ah. Yeah it is April fools joke.

Ah. Is Fundy actually coming clean about his stuff.

Ah no. He’s continuing to pretend nothing is happening.

Lots of tnt.

Gorgeous. Magnificent. Fantastic.

I love tnt particles for whatever reason. They always look so good.

That actually did a lot.

Yes join the fox discord! Yes follow the fox Twitter! I’ve already done both. I don’t really check either but still.

Showing off his explosions.

Oh we’re doing a reenactment.

Let’s gooo.

L’manhole v. 3 (4?)

Lots of tnt. Always good.

Oh. Oh no. It’s lagging bad.

The tnt. Isn’t going.

Ah now the true lag.

“Cool guys don’t have the frames to look at explosions” -Fundy

That was a good explosion. How deep did it go? No very probably.

TNT parkour! We love it!

That didn’t work but that was a nice explosion. Plenty of bedrock.

Good job with the hype train rich people.

We enjoy our streamer causing problems.

And the sign has changed again. You know the one. “You heart...”

Trying to fill the orb thing with tnt.

That was a very contained explosion.

Good explosion time.

Ok. We’re talking concrete replacement.

Blood vines exploding this early again.

Casually exploding the tiny Eret.

Everyone convincing him not to blow up the tiny Eret.

I love how those who watch one watch the other.

L’manburg yeah explode it. Eret? No.

Oh wait don’t look at the spoilers.

Secret Base Here.

Ahh. Blowing up his tower as well.

Nevermind. We like the tower.

Reasons. Mhm. Didn’t plan on that when he set this up. (In relation to snowchester)

Boy’s tnt penmanship is like that of a toddler.

Great explosions.

Oh we’re poofing the Targay next.

I love the two types of people. People like me, playing along, and the people who are panicking and praying it’s a copy.

Love the mods telling everyone it’s real.

Aww he died.

It’s ok. We respawned.

Defiantly cannon.

We don’t want it to be? That’s worrying for future lore.

But we’re not talking future lore. We’re doing therapy explosions.

Oh an ad. I didn’t get it. I won’t complain.

All the levels gone so sad. Not like they can spontaneously appear.

No. We aren’t going to snowchester. Too far away.

Where is the next level?

Random fire arrows???

Yes we are question marking.

Coder boy? Minecraft commands?

Run command?

Execute command?

He’s typing. I understand none of it.

Oh it’s peaceful.

There it goes.

Withers our favorite thing

Withers and chickens.

Oh. We stuck. We lagging bad.

Let me join the L group really fast.

The game crashed and now he’s trying again.

Wait all the damage reset?

Oh wait no we’re on the real smp now aren’t we!

Maybe not... we’ll see.

It never saved?

And here is the April Fools reveal.

Oh hooray sub goal and piano tunes!

Oh American roadtrip by Fundy!

That’ll be fun! It’ll be fun to see the vlogs and the like!

Raise that sub goal! Get that fun adventure!

It’ll be a month but it’ll be fun!

Ah he is telling them it was a real April fools steam.

But this is a cool idea! I hope the boy gets to come here on an adventure.

Why do many New York and New Jersey people? Also hooray 5up!

I hit the text block limit. Good song time! Banger tune time! Oh that’s neat! FundyJam! Another? I could make a part 2 to this instead of cramming, but that’s too much work. GOOD SONG GOOD STREAM! I love Fundy streams so much. Very therapeutic explosions. And the raid went through. 15TH FOR MAIN CHANNEL VIDEO!!!!

[amoderndreamletdown]

Surprise!

Summary: Flynn wakes up on her birthday to Julie acting strange, and suspects she might be up to something.

AKA a Flynn nolastname birthday fic for her birthday!

Flynn always woke up early on her birthday. Usually it was due to the numerous texts and calls she would get from her friends wishing her a happy birthday, but, when she went to check her phone there were no notifications, not even from Julie.

“Huh,” Flynn said, wondering if Julie was still sleeping. However, this question was quickly answered when Flynn’s phone began ringing and displayed Julie’s contact.

“Hey. Jules,” Flynn said, answering the phone.

“Hey, Flynn,” Julie responded. 

“Guess what day it is!” Flynn said to Julie, expecting her to get the hint. 

“April Fools day?” Julie asked.

“What?” Flynn asked, confused. “No. I mean, yeah it is, but that’s not what I was talking about.”

“What el- oh, right, your birthday,” Julie said. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” Flynn said, half-heartedly. “Did you seriously forget?”

“Sorry,” Julie apologized. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind with the band and everything.”

“Oh,” Flynn said, disappointed. “Are we still getting frozen yogurt?” 

It was a tradition for Flynn and Julie to get frozen yogurt on both of their birthdays.

“Of course,” Julie said. “We could come to my house after, maybe hang out and order some pizza?”

“Yeah,” Flynn agreed. “That sounds fun.”

“Okay,” Julie said, and Flynn could hear the smile in her voice. 

At noon, Julie and Flynn met up outside their favorite frozen yogurt shop on Sunset Boulevard. 

“What flavor are you going to get?” Julie asked Flynn.

“Birthday cake and gummy bears, duh,” Flynn responded, stepping into the shop. 

Julie laughed. “I’ll probably just get vanilla and cookie dough.”

“Boring,” Flynn responded, bumping into Julie’s shoulder and laughing.

Julie smiled and rolled her eyes. “I never got the appeal of putting gummy bears on frozen yogurt. They get hard and gross.”

“Hey, don’t you dare insult gummy bears on frozen yogurt,” Flynn told her.

Julie scrunched her nose, and began to fill up her bowl with frozen yogurt. Flynn followed her lead and began to put frozen yogurt in her own bowl. She then went over to the toppings counter and put sprinkles and gummy bears on her frozen yogurt. 

“Gross,” Julie joked.

“You’re gross,” Flynn joked back. It wasn’t really a good comeback, but it was the best she could come up with. 

Julie laughed, and motioned for Flynn to put her frozen yogurt on the scale. They knew the drill by now, whosoever birthday it wasn’t, had to pay for their frozen yogurt. Of course, neither of them minded, it was like buying the other a birthday present, even if they had already gotten them another. 

Another tradition of theirs was to always eat outside. It didn’t matter how hot or cold it was, and if there were any tables left, they’d find a place to just sit and talk. They would finish their yogurt within minutes, but they would normally sit and talk for hours about random things like crushes and music. Luckily, they were able to find a table outside. They both sat down and began to eat their yogurt. 

“So, how are you and Luke?” Flynn asked Julie, starting the conversation.

“We’re good,” Julie responded, her eyes twinkling. “We’ve written a lot of songs together, and I think we really click.”

Flynn smiled. “That’s great. I’m happy for you, Jules.”

Julie smiled even wider than before. “What about you and Carrie? Have you told her yet?”

“That I liked her?” Flynn asked. “Hell no. I mean I doubt she even likes me back. Besides, she just broke up with Nick.”

“Flynn that was months ago,” Julie told her. “And she told us she never really liked Nick anyways, she was just trying to hide her feelings for someone else.”

“I wish she had said who,” Flynn told Julie. “That would make this so much easier.”

Julie laughed. “You’ll figure it out, and, if you do tell her, just know you have my full support.”

Flynn smiled. “I already knew that, but thanks Jules.”

“Of course,” Julie said, then checked her phone. “Are you almost done. We need to get back to my house soon.”

“Why?” Flynn asked. “Is there something going on?”

“No,” Julie said, quickly. Too quickly, she was up to something.

“Okay,” Flynn said, suspicious.

Flynn finished her frozen yogurt then walked with Julie to her house. 

“What is it?” Flynn kept pestering Julie.

“I’m not telling you,” Julie kept repeating, but Flynn kept trying to get it out of her, knowing she’d break eventually. 

“C’mon Jules, please just tell me,” Flynn pestered.

“No,” Julie said, walking faster. Flynn knew it was to try and avoid her.

“C’mon, just give me a hint,” Flynn said.

“Nope,” Julie told her. 

Flynn rolled her eyes. “Fine. Is it for my birthday?”

“Flynn-” Julie started, then replied, “maybe.”

“It so is!” Flynn said, excitedly, and gasped, “is it a surprise party?”

“N- yeah,” Julie said.

“Yes!” Flynn said, happily.

“Just try and act surprised, okay?” Julie asked. 

“Fine,” Flynn said, then got more serious. “Did you invite Carrie?”

Julie laughed. “Of course I invited Carrie.”

Flynn smiled brightly. “Thanks, Jules.”

“Of course,” Julie responded.

When they got to Julie’s house, and everyone jumped out from their hiding places and yelled “surprise,” Flynn didn’t even have to pretend to be surprised. Almost everyone she knew was there including all of Dirty Candi, Nick, the Phantoms, Willie, and even Ray and Carlos.

“Wow,” Flynn had said. “Thanks guys.”

The crowd erupted into shouts of “you’re welcome,” “no problem,” and “of course.”

“Your presents are over on the couch if you want to open them,” Julie told her.

Flynn smiled, unlike Julie who insisted on eating cake before opening presents, Flynn was quite the opposite. 

“Okay,” Flynn said, happily making her way over to the presents. She picked up the one closest to her. It was from Nick. Inside contained a pair of wireless headphones. 

“For the next time you DJ,” Nick told her.

“Thanks,” Flynn thanked him, and set the box down. She then grabbed another one. This one was signed “from Dirty Candi.” 

Flynn opened the box and found many pairs of earrings and a new shirt. Sure, it was a Dirty Candi shirt, but Flynn didn’t mind. Like Nick, she smiled and thanked them.

The next gift was from Ray and Carlos. She opened it up to find a new polaroid camera. She smiled, thanking them, as her old one had broken a few months before. 

The next gift was from Willie and Alex. They had gotten her a skateboard and a helmet. She smiled. 

“Are you finally gonna teach me to skateboard?” Flynn asked Willie.

Willie smiled. “I mean I would hope so, I got you the skateboard.”

Flynn laughed, then turned to Alex. “Thanks, both of you.”

Alex nodded. “Just make sure you wear the helmet.”

Flynn smiled. “Okay.”

The next present she opened was from Luke and Reggie. Inside she found a Sunset Curve T-shirt and a teal beanie. 

“Thanks, guys!” Flynn exclaimed, getting on the beanie. 

Luke and Reggie nodded. 

The next gift Flynn grabbed was from Julie. She opened it to reveal a Julie and the Phantoms shirt that said “manager” on the back. 

“I better be your manager,” Flynn said, and laughed. She then dug deeper into the gift bag and found a CD labeled “Flying Solo.”

“You recorded this?” Flynn asked. 

Julie nodded. “Yeah, I figured it would be a good present.”

Flynn smiled. “You were right.”

Finally, Flynn opened the last present. It was from Carrie, which she didn’t expect since Dirty Candi had already given her a gift.

“You got me a present yourself?” Flynn asked Carrie, shocked.

Carrie nodded. “Yeah. Consider it the start of an apology for everything that I did.”

Flynn nodded, and opened the gift. In it, contained two front row VIP tickets to a Paramore concert, and the card simply said “date?”

“Really?” Flynn asked, happiness and adrenaline running through her body.

Carrie nodded. “If you want to.”

“Of course I want to!” Flynn exclaimed excitedly. “It’s a date.”

“A date?” Julie asked, excitedly, looking between the two of them, then smiled. “Okay, just have her home by midnight.”

Everyone laughed at Julie’s comment, but Flynn barely noticed. She couldn’t believe that Carrie had asked her out. She was so busy thinking about what she was going to wear that she almost missed Julie ask if she wanted cake.

“Yeah,” Flynn said. “That would be great.”

Flynn smiled. This was the best birthday she had ever had.

[anxceit]

pierce the sky

Summary: Janus and Virgil, post-”Putting Others First”.

Pairings: Platonic Anxceit, discussions of platonic Janus/Remus/Virgil

Word Count: 1075

Warnings: Spoilers for “Putting Others First”, obviously. Discussion of Remus’ eating habits in context of an April Fool’s Day prank.

A/N: First Sanders Sides fic in over a year! Hope it’s a good comeback, haha.

~

Virgil only pokes his head out from under the blankets when someone plops down beside him. He’s been working double-overtime between the traditional anxiety of formal events where nobody is talking to you and the regret-frustration-depression of missing the callback, and then, not long after Thomas got home, he had a huge spike in panic that nearly flattened Virgil entirely. He doesn’t feel like dealing with anyone, much less…

“Deceit,” he grumbles in greeting. Deceit offers him a polite, meaningless smile and waves. Virgil narrows his eyes. “So I’m guessing that last near-panic attack was because you showed up?”

“Oh, no,” Deceit says, waving a hand dismissively. “This time it was because Patton turned into a giant frog.”

That’s so completely ridiculous that it shocks a laugh out of Virgil. “Fuck off,” he says, reaching for a pillow to smack Deceit in the head with.

Deceit takes it with all the grace in the world, falling back onto the bed with a muffled cry. “I’m serious,” he protests. “You can ask Thomas.”

“I can and will smother you with this,” Virgil threatens, waving the pillow threateningly. Deceit just hums in response, staring off into the middle distance. His hat sits lopsided on his head, knocked askew when he landed on the bed. Virgil gives him a suspicious look. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing, really,” Deceit says lightly, finally turning his gaze toward Virgil. “I told the others my name.”

Virgil pauses, still gripping the pillow. How the fuck does he respond to that? He’s starting to wish he’d just let Deceit go on about the stupid frog thing instead. At least he was reasonably sure that was a lie. This…he has no idea. “How’d they take it?” he asks cautiously.

“Roman laughed at me,” Deceit responds, eyes turning back to the ceiling. He folds his arms over his chest. “And then I said something I shouldn’t have...so it wasn’t ideal, to be sure.” Virgil snorts, but he’s already preparing mentally to deal with an upset Princey later. If Deceit is making things look this bad for him, he’s almost definitely telling the truth. “But Thomas took it surprisingly well,” Deceit adds. “I almost talked him into murder.”

Virgil snaps his fingers in mock regret. “Damn, if I’d known that was the plan, I would have helped,” he says, and Deceit laughs.

Should Virgil call him Janus now? It’ll be weird to go back to it, after so long of forced separation, but it’s for the best. This...Him joining in with their discussions, openly guiding Thomas’ path, it’s for the best. Right?

“What do you think?” Deceit — Janus asks, as if guessing Virgil’s train of thought. Creepy bastard.

“I mean, Princey laughed at my name too,” Virgil shrugs. “He’ll get over it eventually. Talk Disney with him, it’ll work itself out.” Janus gives him a raised eyebrow. Virgil stares back at him for a moment, then sighs and flops down on the bed so they’re laying side-by-side. “Yeah, I get it, I’m avoiding the question.”

Janus nods in agreement.

Virgil studies his ceiling intently. Patton helped him put up glow-in-the-dark star stickers when he first got accepted. He braved the curtain spiders for it. His card is still on the dresser, alongside a book Logan loaned him. He wonders if Janus will end up with a collection of things he got from the other Sides. 

Maybe he still has the Windex bottle he and Remus cleaned out and filled with Gatorade. Remus went and drank half the bottle in front of Virgil before Virgil figured out what was going on. Worst April Fool’s prank ever — Virgil has watched him eat deodorant with a straight face.

Virgil sighs. “I mean, what are you going to do for Thomas? Besides plan murders?” 

“You all need to leave him alone and play Kingdom Hearts for a few hours sometimes,” Janus responds. “Especially you, because you work overtime when he doesn’t.”

“I can take care of myself,” Virgil grumbles, rolling onto his side to face away from Janus. Even though Janus is still staring up at the ceiling. “Why are you making me the gatekeeper of whether or not it’s okay to help Thomas directly, anyway?”

“Because you have the final override power,” Janus responds plainly. Virgil freezes. He hasn’t thought of it like that in a long time, not since Thomas was a teenager and Virgil could destroy him whenever the others had him do something Virgil personally didn’t agree with. They’ve grown out of it, he thought, but the Dark Sides likely still remember. They saw him at his worst, after all, long before he was more than a shadow under his new family’s bed. 

After a moment of pause, Janus adds, “And because I still value your opinion.” Despite everything, he doesn’t say — doesn’t need to say. Despite the fact that you swore us off.

Janus became the shadow under the bed once Virgil left. Virgil wonders who will do it now that he’s in the light. 

Do they even need one anymore?

Outwardly, he snorts and grabs his abandoned pillow, throwing it haphazardly at Janus again. “Flattery will get you nowhere, slippery bastard.” 

“That sounds like a challenge,” Janus replies, but he sounds like he’s smiling again. Virgil sighs and sits up, looking over at him again.

“Yeah, fuck it,” he says, “you’ll do great at making sure Thomas eats enough pizza and plays enough video games. And pissing off Roman, I guess. Hey, are you sure you’re not just trying to take my job?”

“And what will you do if I am?” Janus asks, giving him his best fake-innocent look.

Virgil considers this. “How fond of your hat are you, again?”

Janus sits up too, then, straightening the hat properly on his head. “Very fond, thank you,” he snips. “Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you.”

“Relax,” Virgil says, “I wasn’t going to take it forever. Just, y’know, fancy it up a little and give it back. Stick a yellow band around the brim, brighten it up some. You gotta get a new look once you join the family, y’know. ‘S a rite of passage.”

“Mm, sounds lovely, but I think I’ll pass,” Janus says, bringing a protective hand to his hat.

“You sure?” Virgil asks. “I think Patton has some glitter glue we could—”

Janus throws the pillow at Virgil’s face this time. Virgil catches it easily, laughing.

[slimy-vore-bog]

Misunderstandings

Last story was my attempt at an April Fool’s prank... It wasn’t a very good one, but I translated the entire thing and here it is.  (took me 3 days, because I kept procrastinating)

It’s not a joke story btw. The joke was posting it in Danish

Anyways...

Contains: Pred Luz (pov character) prey Amity and Willow, mentions of fatal vore, slightly weird grammar because of translation and out of character actions and dialogue

The last part is because I view Saga (Amity in the Danish dub) differently than Amity. Voice actress makes her feel really different, dub Amity is a nervous soft girl who is clumsy and stutters after episode 7... I don’t like it, but I had to keep it somewhat canon... The second reason is that... I only watched the dub once and that this was really rushed. They all talk a bit too formal

Also I made a slightly inappropiate joke at the end. But it’s (hence the title) out of another misunderstanding. And it’s not like I actually even say what they were thinking. I thought it was funny so I’m keeping it.

Original Danish Version: Misforståelser

Word Count: 2.1k

***

“Amity, stop running away!” yelled Luz as the green haired witch ran away from her at a shocking speed. “I’m just trying to help you!”

The young witch didn’t stop. “No! I saw what you did to Willow; you ate her!” she screamed.

That… was true enough. The small witch was in her inside her stomach, but there was a good reason for it. “If you just let me explain, it’ll all make sense; I swear!” There was a kick from inside her stomach. “Willow isn’t dead!”

Amity stumbled in her run. Maybe Luz could get her to listen?

She turned around to look up at Luz. “What?” The witch stared up at her in confusion, but her confused stare quickly turned into a rage filled glare. “Luz are you complete out of your mind?! You ate your best friend! She might not be dead yet, but she sure as hell won’t be living long!”

Luz took a moment, before she could figure out what to say that would calm Amity down. “No, it’s a misunderstanding! For both of you!” She held her hand over her stomach. “Willow, you are okay, aren’t you? You can breathe just fine, and it doesn’t even sting, does it?”

There was no answer from her stomach, but the kicks stopped immediately. Luz could feel that Willow still had her feet firmly pressed into her stomach wall. A couple seconds passed, before her friend responded. “… no, I’m actually feeling fine.”

“She just answered that she’s feeling fine.” Luz did know that it could sound like a lie, but there wasn’t really any other ways to say it. “The reason I chose to eat her…” She looked up at the sky. “Well, just look up there for yourself, Amity.” She pointed up in the air to where a giant bird of prey was circling.

Amity turned her back to Luz with a distrustful glare. “I can’t see what you’re pointing at.” She spun around fast enough to nearly trip herself. “Don’t try to distract me! Throw Willow up right now, before you regret it!” She clenched her fists. “She is-or was- you friend!”

Luz was getting lightly irritated. “First, Willow is completely fine, and second, if you let me pick you up, then I can show you what you’re running towards.” She had a feeling Amity would run, but it wouldn’t be hard to catch her.

The moment the words left her mouth, Amity bared her teeth. “As if I’d do that!” She took a step backwards. “You… You’re just going to eat me as soon as you have me in your hands!”

Luz sighed. “Amity, if you really don’t want me to eat you, then I won’t do-” She suddenly felt a strong kick to a sensitive part of her stomach. “Ouch!” She curled around her stomach. It was mostly out of shock, but there was still a pinching pain. “Willow!”

“Why didn’t you give me a choice?!” she yelled, clearly insulted. “Are Amity feelings about this more important than mine?”

“No, of course not!” Luz could hear how dumb it all sounded. “I just didn’t want to… I just hadn’t thought it entirely through!” Luz could just have held them in her hoodie or in her pant pocket. “I don’t really think things through as well when turn into… you know, a giant.” To her it had seemed like the most logical choice to eat her friends.

She took in a deep breath, before she looked back down at Amity. She placed her hand down with her palm upwards so the green haired witch could climb up on her own. “Come on now, I promise you if you don’t want me to swallow you then I won’t.”

Amity eyed her suspiciously. “What was it that you pointed at earlier?”

Luz pulled her hand back. “A giant bird of prey.”

Amity nodded slowly. “Okay, what color is it?”

Luz realized that she was trying to figure out if she was lying. She looked back up at the big bird. “Blue with orange spots. No, wait, it’s a pattern, and its wings are white on the inside.”

Amity suddenly seemed more relaxed. “Are you sure Willow is okay?”

Luz nodded. “Completely sure.”

“Okay then.” She glared at her again. “But I’m still not letting you eat me.”

Luz smiled. “alright, Amity.” She placed her hand down on the ground again. “Are you going to climb on now?”

Amity eyed her nervously, before she nodded. She took a careful step forwards towards her hand. “And you’re not going to eat me unless I’m okay with it?”

Luz shook her head. “No, you have my word.”

Amity crawled up onto her hand. “Can you please hold me up to your stomach?” She pulled her legs up to her chest. “I want to talk with Willow, without you needing to eat me.”

“Of course, Amity.” She lifted her hand up to the lowest part of her chest. “Talk your head off.”

Amity cleared her throat. “uh, Willow?”

Willow’s voice was a bit cross. “What?” There were a couple seconds of silence. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you.” She gave Luz another kick. “I just don’t get that Luz is giving you special treatment! She ate me without giving me a choice!”

Amity shuffled a bit. “I just wanted to hear if you were doing alright.”

“Oh. Yes, I’m doing fine. Even if it’s awfully slimy in here…”

Luz felt a little embarrassed. It wasn’t because she had been giving Amity special treatment on purpose. “If you want me to, I can easily throw you up again.”

“No, it’s fine, Luz, I would just get cold.” But after she said that, she gave Luz tiny kick again.

Luz used her empty right hand to scratch her neck. “So, Amity, hoodie or pocket?”

Amity flinched. “Let me think for a moment.”

Luz waited. She had trouble keeping her hands still. She wasn’t trying to disturb Amity in the middle of her thinking, but she couldn’t stop moving her fingers slightly.

Amity sighed. “I don’t think it’s okay that you only ate Willow… It would only be fair, if you swallowed me too.” A chill clearly ran through Amity. “As gross as it is.” She took a deep breath, before she shook her head. “Willow, you wouldn’t mind company, would you?”

“No, I don’t.”

Luz cautiously lifted Amity up to her face. “are you completely sure? You’re first coming back out when we’re back in Bonesborough.”

Amity nodded. “I’m sure.” She moved her legs towards Luz’s mouth. “Besides, if I don’t let you do it, then Willow would be alone in there the entire time… I think this is better.” She gulped anxiously. “I can’t believe I’m about to let myself get eaten…” She mumbled.

“I promise nothing’s going to happen to you,” said Luz with a kind smile. “You two both mean so much to me.” So much was true. Willow was her best female friend and Amity… There was just something about the little witch that caught her. “But I can understand that you think this is gross.” Luz smiled nervously. “I would never had thought that I could think of this as anything other than totally disgusting.”

Amity rolled her eyes. “You’re such an idiot, Luz.” But Luz could see the small smile on Amity’s lips. “Just get this over with.”

Luz carefully opened her mouth. Amity wouldn’t fight against her, but the feeling of Willow that punched and kicking around herself in a startled panic still scratched in her throat.

Luz gently lifted Amity into her mouth.

She started slowly with her legs, before she thought about how Amity would slide down the easiest. Maybe it was better if she was lying on her stomach. Luz opened her mouth again. “I’m just turning you, so you’re lying on your stomach,” explained Luz when she saw Amity’s confused expression.

She pushed Amity’s legs into her mouth as gently as she could. She could feel Amity jolt, when her tongue pulled her farther in.

When Amity was completely in Luz’s mouth, she could taste her perfume, that burnt lightly on her tongue. She felt a bit embarrassed, when she needed to pull Amity out of her mouth again. “Sorry I keep doing this, but your perfume isn’t poisonous, is it?”

Amity writhed around to glare at her angrily at her friend, before she shook her head irritably. “No, Luz, it’s not poisonous.” She kicked out after Luz’s lips, but she missed. “Just get it over with!”

Luz was still careful, but she tried to hurry up a little more. She quickly got Amity completely inside her mouth, and began to try and soak through her clothes with her drool.

It was strange not to feel her fight against her, but it was alright with Luz. It made everything a bit easier.

She pushed her legs all the way back in her mouth. It wouldn’t be hard to swallow her. Just a single gulp would probably send her pretty far down.

She turned her head up to the sky, before she swallowed the low part of Amity. She had no trouble with quickly swallowing down the rest of her. It only took to fast gulps, and then Amity was already on her way down through her esophagus.

She swallowed a couple more times just to get Amity faster down. Finally Amity could be safe… Luz breathed out a sigh of relief. Now nothing could reach her friends…

There sounded a startled shout from her stomach after a few seconds. “Sorry, Willow!” yelled Amity, while Luz could feel them trying to find room in her stomach. “I didn’t know there would be so little room in here!”

Luz couldn’t stop herself from smiling at her. Her friends were amazing… She loved both the two so much.

“Amity, you doofus, of course there wouldn’t be a lot of room in here.” Willow talked loudly, but she was clearly just teasing. “Now move over a bit, so I can cast a new light spell.”

Luz giggled at them. “You two are so cute!” She let a lovestruck sigh slip out. “I love both of you so much…”

Willow laughed, while Amity froze completely silent. “And what’s that supposed to mean, Luz? Tell me did you didn’t get a crush on us, did you?”

Luz felt her heart skip a beat. “uh…” Did she have a crush on her friends? Oh no… She did. She laughed nervously. “No, no, of course not! I meant as friend! You two are really good friends!”

Luz could hear the sarcasm in Willow’s voice. “I so believe in that.” There was a quiet moment, before Willow continued. “But, Luz, I’m not really into anybody in that way… Boy, girl or anything in between, nobody at all.”

Luz felt a pang of pain in her heart. “That’s… That’s okay…” Her eyes went wide, when she realized what Willow had just said. “Wait, Willow, you’re asexual? That’s so cool!” She wasn’t heterosexual, just like Luz wasn’t! “Wow, nobody has ever come out to me before! Just think, you have two dads AND you’re ace! Are you also aromantic? Or are you only aro? Sorry, this is just so exciting! Have I ever told you that I’m bisexual?”

Willow chuckled. “No, you haven’t, and I’m both, but I think Amity has something she wants to say.”

Amity fell as soon as Willow said that. “I have a crush on you.”

Luz blushed, “you do?” That seemed a bit sudden for her to confess.

Amity sat back up again. “Yes, I… I can’t almost think of anything or anything other than you.”

Luz smiled. “Well then, would you say yes to a date tomorrow?”

“Yes! Absolutely yes!” A joyful screech sounded from her stomach. “I have a date with Luz…” Amity exclaimed slowly, yet just as excitedly. She squealed again, before she continued. “Where at? In the town? No, there will be too many people… In the forest?” She grumbled. “No, that’s probably not the best idea with Birdie out there on the loose… What do you think, Luz?”

Luz obviously wasn’t much of a local. “Where you think is best! I would say the Owl House for the privacy, but Eda is home…” It became dead quiet after she finished speaking. A few seconds passed, before Luz’s face flared up in a dark red blush. “No! Not in that way privacy! I just meant so we could talk without being interrupt, and Eda wouldn’t pry. Not… you know.”

Amity sighed with relief. “Okay… That’s good.”

Luz stared down into the ground, her face still burning in embarrassment. “Yep… Well, I should probably get you two home.”

“Yeah.” It sounded quickly from Amity.

“That would be nice…” mumbled Willow.

***

That was it! It was a fun project to translate, but not my proudest work... Also this is the creature that Amity called Birdie (Piphans in the original) I designed him, but there’s no reason he’s in here.. I just decided to keep him in... Anyways it’s my man here:

His head and neck is based on Hooty, obviously.

Fun fact: he was the creature I initially wanted to use for... Hold on, I don’t remember the title... Going Through Lots of Denial! There we are! Though... that was only because my friend liked him more... I personally always wanted to use a groundbound creature... I didn’t want the bird to fly off with Amity. (also part of the reason I didn’t actually used him in here. The second is that he would have crushed her. Look at those meaty murder feet)

This was all the creatures I made for it:

Anyways, that was all and it’s pretty unrelated.

Thanks for reading, don’t fall for any pranks, and have an amazing day! <3

[evermorehaikyuu]

𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐁𝐨𝐲, 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮~

After a long time of screaming because poor Iwaizumi, I was thinking of that one vine, so this is trash, enjoy.

~

Iwaizumi’s birthday, the day Y/N should’ve been looking forward to, but didn’t for the sole fact that she didn’t know what to get Iwaizumi. In her eyes, he had everything. Another Godzilla shirt? No, that was too little. Helping him prank Oikawa? Nah, that could be done on April Fools’ and that’s what they did for a date on April 1st. A Louis Vuitton sweatshirt? Hell no, the patterns were atrocious to the eyes. 

Y/N slumped over her couch as her mind started racing. Maybe a Christian Dior sweatshirt? He always glanced at them whenever she was online shopping for something. With a burst of inspiration, she started searching for Christian Dior sweatshirts and quickly shut her laptop once she saw the price. I love him very much, but I’m not paying over a thousand dollars for a GIFT. It was too much money.

Everything was either too expensive or not enough for him. In total, Y/N was stuck. Her mind wrenched to a stop and she groaned. “Come on, brain, think, come on, brain, be so smart.” 

She was running out of time. Iwaizumi would get home at anytime and she would not have anything for him. She could take him out to eat, but that was the unofficial law of S/O birthdays. 

Looking over at the abandoned guitar at the corner, the one Iwaizumi had given her on her birthday, the gears in her mind started moving. It was an awful idea, she was running out of time, but what other choice did she have?

“I cannot believe I’m doing this.” She mumbled to no one in particular as she grabbed the black instrument. Tuning it and placing her fingers on the chord, she sat there, thinking. Nothing was coming to mind, so she started singing nonsense until something smart would come along.

Iwaizumi was on his way back from practice. Oikawa had sang “happy birthday” to him with the rest of the team, and Iwaizumi covered up his gratefulness by throwing a ball at Oikawa’s head when he said, “Aww, Iwa-chan’s becoming ancient and leaving us behind.”

Once he walked inside, he could hear the distinct sounds of a guitar coming from your room. He stayed at the door, listening as she tried to think of something, anything to present to Iwaizumi for his birthday.

Iwaizumi knocked, making Y/N jolt, and walked inside, smiling. “It’s been a while since you touched that thing.”

“Hey, I play it sometimes, Hajime.” Y/N kissed him on the cheek and hugged him tightly. “Happy birthday, Iwa.”

“Thank you, Y/N.” Curiously, he asked, “What are you playing?”

Y/N froze and said, “Can’t I play the guitar without being suspicious?”

Laughing, Iwaizumi responded with: “No.”

“Fine! I’ll show you I’m not suspicious, sit down.” She was regretting the decision the second the last word flew out of her mouth. Obeying her command, Iwaizumi sat across from her and said, “Okay, show me.”

Man, I did not think this through. Y/N was frantically trying to create a song and then this six second video comes to her head. It’s worth a try and her dignity. Strumming the guitar, she sang, “Birthday boy, I love youuuu--” She stopped short, knowing that she was on the verge of laughter.

Iwaizumi couldn’t hold back his laughter, but he tried to play it off like he was coughing. With a smile that fooled no one, he asked, “Is that it?”

Y/N was in tears from trying to stop her laughter. “I-I tried making a song for you, but then I panicked because I was too confident in myself, so now I look stupid.”

Both of them started laughing hard the very next moment. Iwaizumi walked over to her and kissed her. “You didn’t have to do anything for me, you know. Just the dinner would have been nice.”

Sneaking in a second kiss, she said, “But did you like the song?”

Mockingly, he sang, “Birthday girl, I love youuu”, making both of them collapse into fits of giggles. 

The dinner was elegant and everything Iwaizumi wanted. Y/N paid for everything, even if he tried to protest. Looking over at him and grinning, she asked, “What if I told you that I got you a Louis Vuitton backpack?”

“Y/N, those things are expensive, you wouldn’t buy it.” He chuckled and then stopped. “Wait, are you telling me that you did--?”

Without a word, she escaped to the car, Iwaizumi at her heels. Y/N giggled and sang the song again, making him smile widely at her and kiss her forehead. “Thank you, Y/N, for everything.”

It didn’t matter if she had bought him the most expensive object on earth, all he had wanted was to have fun and be happy with her and that was his wish as he blew out the candles on the cake Y/N got for him.

[sakustrawberry]

The Greatest Prank

It was the April Fools of 1974 (*fourth year though I'm not sure tbh*). Remus Lupin felt the rays of the Sun on his face. He was feeling suspicious as to why there wasn't whipped cream on his face, or honey in his robe. Maybe Sirius and James finally got why he was a monster and came to their senses gave up. He went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, no dung bombs in sight smell. Everything was perfectly normal. Which is why it was also heart-wrenchingly maddening. Or so he thought...

It was almost time for Transfiguration, and they weren't in sight. Not even Peter. He asked for permission to enter and took his seat. Why was McGonagall smiling at him?

Ah, there they were, the notorious, rather rutheless part of the Marauders. Why was Siri acting so weird? Why was Jamie smirking like that? Why was Peter wheezing?Who knows?Ok Remus does, Peter always wheezes when he laughs.But-

Anyway

He was going back to checking his homework when-

Sirius: Hey babe!

Remus:Babe?What are you-*smooch*

Remus:PADS! WHY'D YA DO THAT?!

James:Last I heard, you let him do that, Hell you liked it, dare I say loved it.

Remus: Excuse me?!

Sirius: What's wrong darling?

Remus: Seriously man, what is wrong with you? Why'd you kiss me?

Sirius:I have the decent right to kiss my boyfriend!

Remus: Boyfriend?!

James:It was honestly to assert dominance!That guy from Ravenclaw was eyeing you again!

Remus: Dominance?Wha-

Minerva:Boys! That's enough!Mr.Black I understand that you are both young and in love but now is not the time!

Sirius:Oh but it is, Minnie darling!

Minerva:One more word out of you boys and you will have detention for a week.

No one questions McGonagall, that's for sure.

*during lunch*

So...after four teachers confirming that Sirius and Remus were indeed dating. Remus almost started believing it himself.Which wasn't difficult, cuz he'd been having particularly vivid dreams about strangely specific people.

Remus:So, how long have we been dating?

Sirius:

Remus:Ugh fine!...Babe.

Sirius:That wasn't so hard was it?And we've been dating six months my lovely amnesiac boyfriend;)

Remus mutters:Six Months

Sirius:What was that dearest?

James:I didn't say anything dude.

Sirius:Not you Prongs! *eyerole obviously*

Remus: Nothing, it's just I don't remember any of it.

Sirius: I can remind you;)

James:PADFOOT! How many times do I have to tell you! NOT.WHEN.I'M.AROUND!

Sirius:Jeez! Let a guy live!

Remus:Ok,do remind me...darling.

Sirius:Be with you in a second my moonypie.

*Sirius drags James out of the Hall and into and abandoned corridor*

Sirius:What do I do James?!

James:What do you mean?

Sirius: He's going to expect me to...do things to him!

James:So? YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, surely this is something you've wished!?

Sirius:I have!But this is a ruse, remember?

James:If you're getting what you want?Why?

Sirius: Because the way I'm getting it is wrong! He doesn't want me!He wants his boyfriend of six months!

James:You are him, and he is you, now go!

Sirius:I cannot do this to him!

James:The fact that he is so willing should give you a sign.

Sirius:You mean, he likes me??

James:Yes!You dumbass, now go!

*Later*

James:Hello Pads, pads' boyfriend.So what did you do?

Remus:Things.

Sirius:I'm offended that you would call me things!

*They chat a little and Remus leaves.*

James:So?Did you tell him?

Sirius:What do you think?

Warning: Mentions of certain death

James:Hmm, people who like pineapples on pizza should be executed, publically, to you know, set an example.

Sirius:*Rolls his eyes and Sighs in regret* No,Prongs, I did not tell Remus the truth.

James:Well, then do, because him finding out would be devastating, for everyone.

*Remus is reading a book and drinking tea in the common room when Sirius enters*

Sirius:Can I talk to you Moons?

Remus:Sure.What about?

Sirius:I have to come clean to you, I'm not-

Remus:My boyfriend?Oh I know!

Sirius:You-You what?!

Remus: I'm not Dumb Padfoot! Plus, you may be good at lying but James' smirk totally gives you away.Plus even you have tells.

Sirius:I have- Tells?

Remus:Yes your heartbeat picks up.

Sirius:Darn your wolf!

Remus:I would have still figured it out!

Sirius: But wait-if you knew... Why'd you sleep with me? Aren't you mad at me?

Remus:Why would I be mad?You set me up with the guy I've liked for the past two years.

Sirius:Set you u- but- two years- oh- OH

Remus:Wait before anything-was it just a joke or-

Sirius:It was meant to be but-Then I kissed you and I've liked you since first year and I was trying to get over you-trying and terribly failing by the way-*smooch*

Remus:You talk too much...

The End

Invisible The bet Seven Lifetimes in heaven Drarry oneshot

[nonbinarylowkey]

Who’s the Fool

Summary: It's Loki's first April Fool's Day. You might end up regretting introducing him to the holiday.

Word Count: 2135

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: G

So this is like two weeks late, but I wrote it so I wanted to post it. It’s also completely unedited because it’s midnight and I just want it to be done. So hopefully it’s good. Please read and give me validation.

Also posted on Ao3.

“Have you ever heard of April Fool’s day?”

“Fools have their own day on this planet?” Loki lowers his book just long enough to give you a look of disgust before reburying his nose in it with a scoff. “You Midgardians live such short lives and you choose to spend part of them celebrating fools. I will never understand humans.”

“It’s not a day celebrating fools, Loki. It’s a day dedicated to playing tricks on people. Turning them into fools,” You slouch in your seat so you can stretch your legs and playfully kick him, but you barely manage to do anything more than brush your toes against him. He grins and helpfully lifts one of his legs so that it’s within your foot’s reach. But when you go to kick him again, he moves his leg away faster than you can keep up with so you end up falling ass first onto the floor.

“Well now, that does sound interesting. Tell me more,” he says, laughing at you.

"Just for that, I don't think I will," you stick your tongue out at him, uncaring of how childish you might look. It's not exactly like he's the perfect mature adult either, after all.

"I'd rethink that attitude of yours, little mortal. I am the God of Mischief, after all. I may decide to use this little holiday as an excuse to make a fool of you ."

"Don't you 'little mortal' me, mister. You might live for thousands of years, but I know you're not actually immortal," you cross your arms over your chest with a huff. "Besides, you love me too much to prank me…. too much, at least."

You start to grin because who could argue with your obviously flawless logic until a shock hits your side, startling your smugness away. The shock wasn't painful, exactly, but it certainly wasn't pleasant.

"Alright, little human ," Loki says, voice low and dangerous. He leans forward in his seat, book forgotten about for now. "If you wish to challenge me, I have no choice but to accept."

"Actually, you could choose not to accept. I'm not forcing you to do anything," you suddenly feel a little nervous, what with his grin suddenly seeming a whole lot sharper and more dangerous.

"Where would the fun in that be?"

-

"Tell me about the Midgardian holiday April Fool's," Loki demands of Thor about an hour after his conversation with you.

Thor's shoulders slump. The conversation has barely begun and he's already exhausted by it. He contemplates lying and saying he doesn't know anything about it. After all, what would Thor know of Midgardian holidays? He's Asgardian; he doesn't pay attention to Midgardian holidays!

Except Thor has never been a very good liar, least of all when he's lying to Loki. He puts the barbell he'd been using back in its place. Better to be prepared for this conversation to take a turn for the stabby than to trust Loki to behave when talking about something like April Fool's.

"What do you know of it already?" Thor asks. A question should be safe, he thinks. No lying or giving out information that could potentially be disastrous in Loki's hands.

"That it is a holiday meant for tricks and making people into fools," Loki says. "Not a typical Midgardian holiday."

"If you already know that, why come to me?" Thor swipes a towel across his forehead to catch the sweat before it lands in his eyes. "It is not a holiday based on a religious or spiritual belief system, so far as I can tell. It is simply a holiday Midgardians came up with to amuse themselves."

"I see. And what are the parameters for tricks played during this holiday?"

"No killing," Thor says, perhaps a little more forcefully than strictly necessary. Then, as an afterthought, "No physically harming anyone, either."

Loki raises an eyebrow and scoffs.

"I'm well versed in all sorts of mischief, Thor, not just the kind that involves a blade."

With that, he turns and leaves. He has some scheming to do.

-

You have glitter in your hair, paint under your nails, and pot gummies in your backpack when Thor yells your name.

You slam the cover back on the coffee container in front of you. When you turn around, you can only hope your body manages to hide the glass jar filled with coffee grounds behind you.

“Have you seen Loki today?” Thor asks you, thankfully not giving any sort of hint that he thought something was off with you. In fact, he barely looked like he was giving you any attention at all beyond what he needed to give to ask his question.

“Uh, no, not since I woke up. Why? Did he do something?”

Truthfully, the lack of Loki sightings had been worrying you. It’s April Fool's day and you’d hoped you two could team up for some pranks on the other Avengers, but after you’d messed up and kinda sorta challenged him the other day, it seems you’re having to watch your back for his tricks instead.

“I’m worried he’s up to something nefarious. I ran into the Spider Boy, Peter earlier. He said he caught Loki tampering with his suit, but couldn’t find anything wrong with it.” Thor runs a hand through his beard. He looks around the room, like Loki might’ve materialized nearby in the half a minute he’d been standing there.

Knowing Loki, it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibilities. The room is still Loki-less. Which is a shame because you’ve got some real questions hearing that Loki was apparently tampering with Peter’s suit and everything looked fine .

“Did he test everything out? It all looked good?” You ask, casually. You lean casually against the counter, too.

“Yes, he tested it in front of me. Everything was fine.”

“Even his web shooters? Nothing weird came out of them? Nothing that definitely didn’t come out of it before?”

Thor squints his eyes at you. It isn’t quite a glare; more like he’s trying to see through you. You squirm, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

“No, why?”

“No reason. It’s just, if I were Loki and I were going to play a prank involving Peter’s suit I’d probably replace the synthetic webbing with something else. Y’know, if I were hypothetically doing this.”

“Right…” Thor definitely looks suspicious. He stares at you a moment longer. “If you see Loki, tell him I’m looking for him.”

You give him a two fingered salute.

“Will do.”

You turn back to the counter once Thor is out of sight and shove the glass jar into your backpack after a quick sweep to make sure you hadn’t spilled any coffee grounds when you switched them out.

-

“Have you seen your boyfriend lately?”

You turn to face Same, mentally preparing yourself to have the same conversation you’d just had with Thor.

You are not quite prepared to see Sam holding his wings. His perfectly normal, unpainted wings.

“Uh, something wrong?” You ask.

“Not sure yet,” He says. “But I saw him messing with my wings earlier and he disappeared before  I could confront him. Everything seems normal, but…”

Sam doesn’t finish the sentence, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s saying.

“Did you actually see him doing something to them? Or was he just, like, standing around near them?”

You take a step towards Sam to get a closer look at his gear. Everything does look normal.

No paint or tissue paper in sight.

Nothing to make it look like butterfly wings at all.

“He had a towel. Looked like he might’ve been rubbing something off. Or on knowing that guy.”

“What in the world is he up to?” You ask, mostly to yourself.

“That’s what I want to know. If you see him, tell him I’m looking for him.” Sam says.

You nod.

-

“Hey, Darcy? Have you seen Loki today?”

“Hey! I was just gonna ask you the same thing!” She shoves a tin in your face and opens the lid to show you the contents. Inside are several perfectly normal looking gummies. “I saw him closing the lid on this, like he was messing with my gummies or something.”

She sniffs them. “Do they even have weed on Asgard? How’d he know where I kept my stash? Oh, you think that asshole switched them for normal gummies? I did not buy those so the guy who tried to take over the world could get high!”

Darcy pops one of the gummies into her mouth and chews it so hard you can hear her teeth gnash together.

“Hey, Darcy?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe for now just assume he was just trying to make you think he did something when he didn’t really.” You say gently, trying not to let your own annoyance show.

“You think he’d do that?”

“Yeah, I do.”

When you’re out of Darcy’s sight you open up your backpack to take a peek inside.

Staring up at you from the bag you’d put the pot gummies in is a vaguely misshapen gummy Gengar. It’s surrounded by a few other Pokemon gummies; the same number of gummies that Darcy had in her tin when you got to it this morning.

-

You walk into Tony’s lab.

“Just the person I wanted to see,” He says. None of the equipment is wrapped in bubble wrap. “Have you se-- ”

You leave the lab without hearing the last part of Tony’s question.

There’s a list hanging on your refrigerator door when you get back to your apartment. It’s a list you wrote of all the pranks you planned for the day.

Except for the item on the back of the paper. That was written by someone else. And it says:

“ Undo all of this. Leave the Avengers panicking. ”

Well.

You can’t say this is what you expected of Loki for April Fool's day, but it certainly is creative.

And maybe it isn’t too late to do something to get back at him.

-

When Loki returns to the apartment at the end of the day there’s a small chocolate fountain sitting on the kitchen island. He’s looking far too smug for your liking and you can’t wait to wipe that beautiful grin off of his stupidly beautiful face.

“Another attempt at a prank?” He asks as he approaches you.

“Nope, I know when I’m beat,” You say, hands raised in a gesture of surrender. “This is just a prize for you beating me. I didn’t get any of the reactions I’d been hoping for and all of the residents of this compound think you messed with their stuff when it’s all perfectly fine. You win.”

“Smart girl,” is the only thing he says before sticking a finger into the flow of chocolate. He pops the finger in his mouth.

And immediately gags.

“ What is that?” He yells, taking a paper towel to his tongue.

“That is extremely bitter dark chocolate. Nasty stuff. Not what you usually eat when you have chocolate,” You put on your best shit-eating grin. “You may have gotten me by undoing everything on the list, but I didn’t write this one down.”

“You do understand I will have to take my revenge on you for making me eat that vile excuse for chocolate, yes?”

“Nuh-uh, loverboy, because that’s not all I have for you,” You pick up a second chocolate fountain from the stool next to, just low enough that it had been out of his sight until now. “I have another one, this time with the good stuff. I’m not stupid enough to prank you and not make up for it.”

“A shame,” he says, and when he tries the chocolate from the second fountain his eyes light up at the realization that it is, in fact, the good stuff. “My revenge would have been such fun.”

A sudden bang on the door causes you to jump and nearly fall out of your seat.

"Loki!" Thor's voice booms from the other side of the door. He bangs some more, apparently not content to stop until he's able to speak to his brother. "Open the door! I know you're in there!"

"What's with him?" You ask because all you had planned for Thor was to switch his usual coffee with decaf. And if Loki really had just undone everything you'd done, then Thor should have no reason to be angry with him.

"I may have turned all of his coffee into snakes."

"Loki," you say, with all of the exasperation in your body.

"And one of those snakes may have bitten him before I could transform them back. It was an accident, really."

But from the grin on his face, you aren't sure if it was an accident at all.

[howtodisassembleyourdeviant]

Rachel was never the type to engage in overly elaborate tomfoolery on April Fools. But she couldn't resist engaging in a little harmless mild mischief. So, arriving much earlier than everyone else, she quickly got to work sticking googly eyes onto everything she could to give every object a goofy face. Sitting in her desk, she was pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary, though her smile would give it away easily along with her stifled snickers. Eagerly, she awaited for Connor's arrival.

Connor came into work, carrying his own thermos of thirium peach tea, already suspicious. This was a dangerous time of year for androids. Any excuse a human needs to claim 'it's just a prank'. As if that's reason enough to get away with some of their much crueler pranks.

He knew better this year than to accept anything from anyone. Hank had got him last year with a pack of bubblegum that stained his mouth black, but it didn't stain his teeth so it just gave him a demented look that he actually enjoyed. Connor doesn't mind harmless pranks, but it's easy for people to go too far.

Seeing the googly eyes everywhere, however, was certainly unique. Connor knew right away who was the culprit.

"I have the distinct notion that I'm being watched," He speaks aloud before looking over at Rachel with an amused smirk, "you've been busy this morning, haven't you?"