#it’s 4am <3 i have a lecture in a handful of hours <3 I’m being brave rn <3

[hella1975]

love sleeping. would love to sleep one day

[cloudy-caspirations]

Long text post today— it’s not even 12pm yet and today is already pretty terrible, so I guess I’m posting about study fails on this blog too now!

This past Tuesday I spent a whole 6 hours straight catching up on math lectures and another 2 doing the homework. Today I got that homework back and I got a solid 3/10 on it. I stood up until 4am last night trying to understand the homework due today, and I ended up turning in a blank sheet.

To top it all off, when handing my homework back, the professor made a comment about me putting more effort into my appearance than his class… I still have no clue how to respond to that??

This and all my other classes are almost completely made up of men, so it’s already high pressure to do well and ‘prove that I belong here’ or whatever, and today’s interaction definitely did not help with that 😀.

Anyway, if any of y’all have advice or want to commiserate, whether it’s about differential equations or being a non-man in a male-dominated field or even just study tips and dealing with failure, I am open to anything😭😭.

[lucy90712]

Sapnap- face cam

Wc- 1987

Warnings- none (I think)  I've been up for almost 30 hours mainly because I was doing college homework all of last night and because my boyfriend Sapnap was streaming and being very loud which kept me up in the first place which was why I did my homework anyway. I love Sapnap to death but sometime he can be a little annoying but I put up with it.

Sapnap only got into bed at 4am and he's still asleep now at 11pm meanwhile since then I've finished a big essay, cleaned the apartment, done another essay and then made breakfast for myself which I'm eating now. I wish I could be this productive when I've had sleep but somehow it never works like that.

Eventually Sapnap came downstairs sauntering because he was still sleepy, some of us wish. He walked right over giving me a hug from behind as I washed some dishes and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Morning babe you alright?" He asked

"Yeah I'm good a little tired but I'll live" I replied

"Just to let you know I'll be streaming later" he said

He always tells me when he's streaming because his fans don't know about us and he doesn't want to accidentally reveal anything to protect me which is cute but it gets hard when he streams for hours on end and I need help with something. Sapnap is good about to it though if I really need help I either text him or message him on discord and he'll help but he sometimes doesn't read his messages.

I gave him some of what I made for breakfast and he sat down to eat it while I talked at him about college work that he pretends to care about. He's very supportive of all my college work and he'll let me get on with things if I have to but he will also talk about things with me if I want to. Thats one of the best things about Sapnap is his ability to adapt to how I'm feeling at any given moment and I like to think I'm at least ok at doing the same for him.

After breakfast Sapnap cleaned the rest of the dishes and let me take a shower which was nice and relaxing and woke me up a little bit as the cold water at the start hit my back, usually I would not be under the water as it warmed up but today I felt like I needed a shock to my system to get it going for another day. I had more homework and a lecture to do today so there was no chance for a nap until the evening when it's kind of pointless anyway.

After my shower I got dressed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt because it was comfy for sitting down all day in. Sapnap had got my laptop ready for me and had got me a glass for water which was sweet of him. My lecture was in about 2 minutes so I logged onto the class ready for it to start, when it did I put my headphones on so that Sapnap didn't have to listen to my teacher going on about whatever we were doing today, he always says he doesn't care but even I don't want to listen to it sometimes so there is no way he does.

As I tapped away making notes Sapnap put his hand on my knee rubbing his thumb in circles comfortingly. He does this all the time whether its sat on the sofa like right now or while we're driving somewhere but its safe to say that I love it, it lets me know he's there in a weird way it's like he's acknowledging my presence. At one point he got up and went to the kitchen and when he came back he had my favourite snack which he put between us so that we could share. What a lovely boyfriend he's being today, I'm starting to wonder what he thinks he's done that's he's trying to make up for.

My lecture finally finished after what seemed like and age so I went to get straight on with my last essay that needed submitting by the end of the month but Sapnap shut my laptop before I could get the document open, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the sofa and towards the door.

"Come on were going out for a walk" he said

"Why, I have an essay to work on" I whined

"You'll never leave the house if I don't drag you out so come on" he said handing me my shoes

I put them on and grabbed a jacket because according to the weather it was meant to be a little bit chilly out today, Sapnap grabbed the house keys and pushed me out the door onto the street. We don't often go out on walks because neither of us like leaving the house that much if we were to go out it would most likely be in the car to just go for a drive.

The two of us walked down the street holding hands and swinging them back and forth as we took steps forwards. Sapnap clearly had a good idea of where he wanted to go because he was making turns all over the place. Eventually we ended up at the target not that far from our place and we went in looking at everything like you do in target and we topped up on some snacks for a movie night soon.

We left with our snacks and Sapnap dragged me to the nearest park so we could sit outside and get a bit more fresh air. The nearest park is actually the one that we went to on one of our first dates so we have good memories there, on one of the benches by the duck pond is where we had our first kiss and many more after that.

I always love going back to that park with Sapnap because each time we reminisce on the past and talk about the future which seems to change each time we come here. We walked to the exact bench that we had our first kiss on and sat down looking at the scenery. It had changed quite a bit since the first time we were here, there used to be a little play park for kids in the distance but now thats gone and is replaced with a small flower garden instead.

The first time we came here and we talked about the future all we wanted was to still be together after we left for college which of course happened, then the next time we wanted to move in together which we did and now. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but I'm sure it will be interesting.

"Wow its been so long since we came here we have changed so much and achieved everything that we wanted to" he said

"I know its so weird to think that our last goal was to move in together and now we have been living together for 5 months where do you think we will end up in the future?" I asked

"On man I have no idea but I would love to still be living together and maybe in a bigger place and maybe even be engaged" he said

This shocked me I never expected him to say that but I guess that is the next logical step for us to take in our relationship.

"I like the sound of that" I said  

We went back home and Sapnap went to stream while I worked on my essay he didn't tell me how long he was going to stream for but it will probably be about 3 hours. So I sat down and got on with writing the last 15 pages of my essay which would probably take me the entire time he was streaming maybe longer.

My essay took me almost exactly 4 hours to do but when I tried to submit it it wouldn't upload which happens from time to time. I looked at the upload speed of the WiFi since Sapnap taught me how to do it and it was fine but I assumed that it was being used for something else. This problem has happened before when Sapnap is uploading a video so I assumed that was the issue.

It got up and walked to Sapnap’s streaming room waiting outside for a moment to double check that he wasn't still streaming, I waited a couple minutes and heard nothing so I knocked and went in.

As soon as I went in I saw that Sapnap was still streaming and his face cam was on which meant that I was now on his stream in front of however many people. I've never made such a stupid mistake especially one that outs my entire relationship, I just stood in shock not being able to move and get out of the shot. Sapnap had the exact same reaction his face was filled with shock and fear at the same time.

Nothing prepares you for the moment that you expose yourself live in front of probably 100,000 people or more who will record anything that happens. Nothing prepares you for the chaos that will ensue when you do the before mentioned thing and definitely nothing prepares you for the guilt you feel doing so.

"Um hi y/n" He said trying to make things less awkward

"Hey" I replied shyly

He motioned for me to come over because there was no point trying to hide this anymore since no one will believe anything we say now. I stood next to Sapnap luckily being short enough that I still fit in frame but he had obviously given up caring at this point because he pulled me down into his lap to sit while we talked to his chat. Again he did the thing where he rubs his thumb in a circle on my leg and this time it really was for comfort.

"Well chat this is y/n and shes my... girlfriend" he said

"Hi everyone" I said shyly

"Now chat I'm going to need you to be nice to her or I'll be angry because she is very precious to me" he said

His chat were going insane telling others to clip this and people getting way to excited about all of this and some were asking questions. The whole chat was going so incredibly fast that it was hard to read all the messages.

We answered some of the basic questions like how long we have been together and other things, people also asked if George and Dream knew which of course they did and they have made jokes about Sapnap having a girlfriend but no one ever took it too seriously. At one point dream joined the call and started mocking us for being stupid and exposing ourselves and he told some stories that he knew we wouldn't mind him saying which the chat enjoyed.

I started yawning more and more as I stayed on the stream because I wasn't keeping my mind busy my tiredness was taking over. I leant back into Sapnap to rest my head on his shoulder, he out his hand on my head running it through my hair which is very relaxing.

"Are you tired?" He asked

"No I'm fine I can stay awake" I said

"I don't want to hear it I know you've been awake for over 24 hours so you are going to sleep" he almost demanded

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a comfortable position where I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost right away forgetting that Sapnap was still streaming but it doesn't matter.

[kyun-toast]

[ATEEZ] as University Students

a/n: I love college AUs but I'm British so I thought I'd chip in w some painfully British uni lad ateez

Hongjoong

Besties w his tutor

Got his life down on lock

One of those ppl that are always on top of their work, have acc done the reading and gets good grades but is still rlly cool and has a social life ygm

But thats only bc he lives in the library

Has a designated seat and there's an unspoken rule amongst the students that that's HIS spot, nobody sits in it

Often seen napping at said library spot

So well dressed. He’s one of those students that always catches your eye around campus or lecture halls

Bc he’s just so well dressed for a uni student running on 0 hours sleep and red bull

Probs studies smth like joint honours music and philosophy

Also Vice President of smth like filmsoc

Friends with the baristas at Starbucks bc he’s just in there for caffeine all the time

We all aspire to be like student hj, just more sleep pls

Seonghwa

Voted most eligible bachelor amongst students

Famous around campus just for being so pretty

He’s one of those ppl you see on like the first day of uni and it’s an instant crush

But you’ll never be able to do anything abt it you just have to admire from the other side of the lecture hall

Actually speaks up in seminars bc he’s done the reading sat next to hongjoong in the library

He looks like he’d play tennis for uni and varsity tickets would sell like crazy bc so many ppl have crushes on that man

He’d bring his lil meal prep packed lunches to uni lol what a little sweetheart

Been pictured in the uni prospectus at least once

Hongjoong makes him go w him to freshers fair for his society to use as bait so he stands there handing out leaflets for a soc he’s not even part of

Yunho

Doesn’t know what’s going on half the time he’s just happy to be there

This is v evident in lectures. Professor could be going on and on in a stats class and he’ll just sit there smiling

His gaming setup takes up most of his room and is also where most of his money goes

Texts u at 4am like hey u wanna get pizza

And you know he’s up at that time bc he’s been gaming all night

Still gets good grades despite the fact that all he does is game?

You ask him how he does it and he’s just like idk?

You are perplexed.

All soft in cute jumpers and hoodies but one day you’ll see him suited up at a formal and wow heart eyes

Super fun at parties too, have u seen that man dance?

You have multiple videos of him twerking

Yeosang

That mysterious boy at the back of class that doesn’t speak a lot but whenever he does its always smth smart af

Types really loud on his macbook

Looks like he doesn’t have any friends

But outside of lectures he’s always w friends that look equally as mysterious and cool

No one on your course knows anything abt him

But you see him at a house party once and he’s just stuffing his face w food having a great time

Feel like his alcohol tolerance is super low

Two shots and he’s out cold

And then you’ll see him again at some niche soc social like basket weaving or smth

Works part time at a cool clothing store like allsaints or cos

Chicken shop connoisseur, knows the best places in town

San

Actually studies rlly hard, i can tell he always gives 110% on whatever he’s set his mind to

Soft student always in oversized hoodies, spinning pens, v enthusiastic and pays attention in lectures

But when hes w wooyoung oh man

The enabler, 110% attitude towards drinking too

Pours drinks w 80% alc 20% mixer

“my mother didn’t raise a quitter”

Type to sprint home from the club bc he doesnt wanna waste money on uber

Will make animal friends otw and bring them home

You wake up and come downstairs the next morning and theres just a pigeon in your living room

On the athletics team which is why he may find it instinctive to run home when he’s drunk

San would like for there to be a greggs on campus

Mingi

ALWAYS napping in lectures, seminars, during lunch, in the library, u name it

Knows the best spots for it tho.

You didn’t know there was a secluded spot w bean bags under the stairs at the back of the library until mingi told you

Never missed 9am lectures but will nap through them instead

Gets freshers flu every year and the cough lasts for months

You hear someone cough in the room over and ur like oh, well there’s Mingi

Gives you the best advice at 4am in the library

Also best cuddles

Studies smth like aerospace engineering but regrets it bc he didn’t know what he was getting himself into

Considers dropping out every exam season but always pulls through w good grades?

Wooyoung

Bnoc thats all i have to say

Has like 4k followers on ig

Always running around campus for no reason

Woo and san together at parties u know its going to be buck fckin wild

Always got ppl swooning over him but he just wants to have fun!

No time for relationships! Only alcohol!

When he studies tho? £3 meal deal and writes 2 sentences kind of guy

Business management OR marketing student I can feel it in my bones

The type to tell u funny stories in a silent library and it takes everything in u to stop laughing

Ppl will look over at you two and youre just holding your breaths on the verge of exploding

Security will kick u out at one point

Tight w the local kebab shop bossman

Jongho

Brings everything in a backpack to uni like a year 7

Need a hole punch? Ask jongho. Painkillers? Jongho. Assortment of multi coloured pens? Jongho

Writes the best notes

They're all colour coordinated in different folders for different modules

All the office ladies dote on him bc he’s so sweet

They all offer him tea and biscuits

Youngest but is the voice of reason in the group

Wy will be like do u wanna get drunk in the library

And jongho is like bro ur deadline is tomorrow are u ok

The type to be filming all the other guys when theyre up to some questionable stuff for the memories

Feel like he’d be on committee for whatever course he’s studying

I get pharmacy vibes from this boy

Got job offers lined up for when he graduates

[vinnieworld]

5 tips to boost 5 days of Productivity

We all love to procrastinate and most of us (including myself) have made sport out of this, but is this how we really should be approaching things?

The answer is NO.... apparently

So join me in my self evaluation of bringing you 5 tips how I avoided procrastination by being a bit lazy.

Being productive for a whole week when you have too much on your plate but you spend your entire weekend scrolling through social media... well me too :)

Though Mondays suck, its a brand NEW week so we can't let Mondays win and ruin out entire week right?

Tip 1 - Preparation before the week start

- Make a to do list - For the next day or the week

A short list of your most prioritised tasks e.g. starting that essay you been avoiding, even if it just picking the ttile

Make sure to not put too much pressure on these tasks

Keep it simple

DO NOT put too many things, be realistic only add things you know you can achieve

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

We all have those sleepless nights, especially when you have a 9am lecture/class the next day. Somehow you end up going to sleep at 4am still make it to your lecture on time, though the rush might be exciting this is not the way to start the week because your mind will get used to this so much and this becomes your normal routine.

Not going to lie, I am super guilty of this but I found out this not only drains my energy, it strips me away from my motivation and make me lazy all the time.

So one bazzare night I thought to myself what would I potentially want to do this coming week, so I got my phone started typing my "potential" to do list for the week, okay the list was quite long and seemed quite overwhelming, and I knew I wouldn't do all of this so though I made the list I didn't put too much pressure on this. When I checked back in the middle of the week I did most of the things on the do to list unconsiously. This was so surprising I never get things done.... what changed ?

Most of the time we put too much pressure ourself, that's why we procrastinate and they avoid the things we need to do. The minute the pressure is gone you get the urge to do your things even if you are unaware of it.

Tip 2 - Follow today's work TODAY

- Follow the lecture and make notes while you're attending the lecture

Take brief notes on what's on the slides

If the lecturer give extra info add those especially

DO NOT panic if you don't write everything on the slide, remember these are brief notes to for later revision

Speed is not important, what's important is that you have something written on the paper

when the lecture/class is finished fill in the gaps you left during it, do this right after while you still have the energy.

one page = one lecture (unless the lecture is 90 slides then its bit tricky)

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

I personally find it very hard to keep on top of things, especially with how different lecturers have different methods and speed with delivering their content. I tried many methods, recording the lectures, printing the slides, handwriting everything but it only made me bored of the things I was learning.

I can't stare at pages and pages of writing when I'm trying to revise, so best way for me to do this is if I have one page or two for the entire lecture. This helped me a lot of condense my notes, motivated me to keep writing and I felt accomplished by the end of every lecture.

Tip 3 - Keep one book for all your modules

- Invest in a chunky subject divider notebook

This is where you write the notes form the previous tip

One book to take to all your lectures, don't have to carry five or more

Write all the assignment and exams for that subject in the dividers (Kinda like a self-reminder)

Keep a general section where you write extra information that relates to the subjects (e.g. extra seminars, extra activity sessions, groups project notes, your own research for subjects, assignment preparation etc. )

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

Most of my detailed notes are digitalised, this is way easier then writing hours and hours of detailed notes by hand. But all the modules, lectures, practicals are separated so it's too much of hassle to find what I want when I want to have a quick glance at something.

Dividing the book by subject and seeing different content I am going to need regularly being on one place really is therapeutic for me, give me less stress so I don't have to spend time looking through pages of notes to find just one sentence.

Having one book for all my modules, helped me so much to keep on motivated to write notes and keep on top of it and when I revisit it, it's so pleasing to the eye.

Tip 4 - Write flashcards on the day

- Put little bit of extra into a flashcard

Once you finished a lecture, read back and pick the most key bits and write a maximum three sentences

Keep it very very brief

Think of pictograms for some words. e.g. little blog with stokes for a virus or a spark for electricity

Some info you can't fit on your page put it on the flashcard, like a diagram or a table

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

I am a sucker for flashcards, seeing them makes me so happy to revise. But making them when an exam is near is frustrating so if you make them before by the time you get your exam season you already have flashcards to revise from. How convenient!

Tip 5 - Write a sentence or research a bit everyday for your assignments

- Every time you feel like you done nothing today take a look assignment and write sentence - Take this step by step everyday and add information along the way

Pick a title first for whatever your assignment is

Do basic research on the title you chose

Do a basic plan

Improve on the basic research

Add information to the plan

and ect....

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

Doing assignments is tricky, very boring, they can be very long and stressful so we avoid even starting it until the day before it's due. Okay, we all work well under pressure but we don't really produce our best work under a day so investing little time everyday or every other helped me to produce more quality work than normal and it was less pressuring and stressful when I started the binge writing on two three days before the deadline, because all the research, preparation is done all I had to do was write and improve my work along the way.

I actually cannot recommend this enough because it saved me from a lot of breakdowns over my assignments. Just by adding something to it every now and then I basically finished my first draft by the time I actually want to start to write properly.

Bonus tip - Take the weekend off! - > If you're like me and get bored very easily with doing the work then follow these tips for the days you have school or uni, finish everything by Friday and take the whole weekend of .... TRUST ME you will be much more prepared for Monday.

Thank you so much ya'll for reading this, I do ramble a lot but it's a part of me that I embrace so I hope this was helpful for you and make sure to tell me your thoughts and feelings.

Till next time Lovelies x

[thisaccisdead]

montreal - roman hurt/comfort

pairing: this was written to all be platonic prinxiety, but can definitely be interpreted romantically !

warnings: unconventional self harm, non-graphic descriptions of wounds/injury

summary: a post-POF roman hurt/comfort fic in january 2021? yes <3

word count: 3.2k

notes: large portions of this were salvaged from one (1) night last summer at 4am when i was having a . time. the rest has been mainly recently written before i go to bed, with some extra bits added during my history classes B)) also shout out to [REDACTED]. u may not read this but if u do, i hope u know who u are & ilu

Virgil had been trying to calm himself down for the better part of an hour, as soon as they got back from the wedding fiasco; and he was doing a relatively okay job. Considering the circumstances, at least. Or so he thought, when he registered a spike in Thomas’s anxiety. This only served to make Virgil more anxious, because he had thought he had been doing well—until, he realized it wasn’t anxiety, not exactly, not fully—and it wasn’t coming from him.

Once he'd figured that out, it wasn't hard to trace the feeling to the imagination. He paused at the door. If this was where the strongest negative emotions were coming from, he already knew which side this was about. And could he really be surprised? Roman had wanted that callback for so long. Even at the court case, even when Roman gave Thomas his sentence, Virgil knew it killed him. And Virgil didn't do anything. Because he was so fucking scared of Thomas being bad, or of Janus winning, or something, and now whatever was going on was his fault, and--

And now was not the time for these thoughts. He breathed in. He opened the door.

Immediately, he was coughing out soot, heat burned his cheeks, his eyes blurred with protective tears forming against the smoke. It was hard to see, let alone process, what was happening. Then, he caught sight of the Dragon Witch. And he caught sight of—

“Roman!” Virgil choked on the yell, coughing again.

Obviously Roman couldn’t hear him from the distance, especially considering the brutal roar of the creature. Adrenaline kicked in, and as Virgil began to sprint towards the prince, he took in the entirety of the scene with alarm. Roman was...fighting, sure, except that Virgil had seen him fight before, and this... wasn’t right. Roman bested manticore-chimeras like it was a breeze, he HAD bested the Dragon Witch herself in every form she took, “just for training.” He always moved like he was in a ballet, not a battle, like it was more for show than challenge, and now...

Virgil watched Roman fall to a hard swish of the creature’s tail, and stay there. He almost expected the Dragon Witch to take mercy, or at least, to accept an early victory. But he watched her rear back, raise a taloned hand, the magma-red in her throat glowing brighter and brighter—just as Virgil got close enough to let fight win over flight.

Virgil crashed into Roman; they rolled just far enough that the swipe of claws only ripped the edge of Virgil’s jacket.

Immediate danger out of the way, Virgil clenched his eyes tight, trying to do it how Logan taught him. He found something that didn’t make sense--the grass. The grass was dry, therefore it should have been burning, but it wasn’t. He took that foothold to dispel all the fantastical elements of the scene, Dragon Witch and all her carnage blinking from existence. The new calm of the scene was jarring.

That just left a great big field, Virgil, and one absolute dumbass.

"What the fuck, Princey?!"

Virgil’s voice was distorted with stress, and Roman stared up at him wide-eyed, unsure—even terrified in a way that hurt. Virgil quickly pushed himself up so he wasn't pinning the other. Roman tried to copy this movement, only to groan, start coughing, and fall back again.

“Shit, I—“ Virgil looked at his hands and found red on them, looked at Roman and saw the color painting his chest. “I thought I dispelled all the imaginary stuff, why—?“

“Left brain sides can only dispel so much of what right brain sides feel,” Roman said, voice rough and thin and upsettingly casual, “Since they feel so real to me, you can’t get rid of them.”

“They feel…? Christ, ok, you need a medical kit, uhm—“ Virgil closed his eyes again; he was notoriously shitty at summoning things, and he had to concentrate for this—

“That’s ok; I’ve got it,” Roman said, letting out a quiet hiss as he propped himself up on one arm, and summoned the medical kit with the other, “You can go now.”

Virgil gaped at him in disbelief. When Roman attempted to stand up, and Virgil could no longer deny he wasn’t joking, he exclaimed, “Like Hell am I going, idiot!”

Roman just stared at him, and Virgil cursed under his breath. “Ok ok, let’s just... we should do this in the bathroom, uhm—“

Virgil awkwardly clambered over to Roman again, taking his hand, so he could blink them over together. He knew it would probably be more comfortable for Roman to sink in and out, but considering Virgil wasn’t practiced at that, he wasn’t going to risk screwing it up.

They apparated into the bathtub, and Virgil scrambled up, taking the med kit from Roman's hands.

Ok, ok, now Virgil just had to remember that one time Logan lectured them all on “Side Safety.” He took a shaky breath and washed his hands quickly, before turning back to Roman. He allowed himself to fully assess the prince this time and… Jesus. He was slumped against the back of the tub, having given up his attempts at composure while he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. His litany of scrapes, cuts, bruising, his shallow breathing, and--most of all--the wet, red patch slowly growing on his shirt, sparked renewed panic in Virgil.

“Ok, fuck, ok--let’s do this,” Virgil said, mostly to himself, as he knelt down by Roman to undo his already tattered shirt and take a wet towel to his chest. He had to suck in a breath at the sight of the jagged wound, a nauseous feeling catching up to him.

“You’ve already done a lot, you know,” Roman insisted. “You can--”

“If you tell me to go, Princey, I swear I’ll make these wounds worse myself,” he said, not meaning it in the slightest, which he would assume Roman knew--but the way Roman flinched and shut his mouth told a different story. “Shit, I didn’t mean that. Of course I didn’t mean that!”

Roman glanced away, and Virgil reached to cup his cheek, an instinct he didn’t know he had. Luckily, he caught himself in time to retract his hand. They both avoided eye contact for a second; Virgil cleared his throat; and he reached for the bottle of hydrogen peroxide before pausing. He vaguely recalled Logan mentioning how strong alcohols would only cause more harm, and they should just stick to mild soap instead. He gave the cut a longer look-over—it was certainly not a pretty sight, but probably not as bad as it looked. It was large, but not too deep. Plus, as sides, it would heal itself without needing anything like stitches or professional medical work. The past scars littering Roman’s body were proof of that. Actually--had he always had this many scars? Virgil squinted. How often did he do this?

Virgil finished cleansing and bandaging the wound to the best of his ability, with little talk beyond the occasional, soft “sorry” at Roman’s winces. When he had finished, he gave Roman his hoodie (an action the Prince was too tired to take much notice of), since summoning a new shirt seemed like a waste of whatever energy he had left.

“Ok, Princey, all done. Uhm, are you—how, how are you?” Virgil mentally kicked himself.

A small, bitter smile tugged at Roman’s lips for just a moment. He opened his mouth and then closed it, and finally shrugged. “Thank you for your help.”

It hurt, Virgil realized. Roman’s quiet voice, where near-shouting was his usual speech. His unkempt hair sticking to his forehead, where it was usually styled to be very lightly and intentionally ruffled. The bags beneath his eyes where there was usually concealer. All of it hurt.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m being annoying, but I hope you know there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving yet.”

“Virgil,” Roman almost said it as a whine, which was closer to his usual style, so Virgil considered it progress.

“Roman,” Virgil deadpanned back.

Roman huffed. “Maybe I need space to really explore my feelings, and you’re actually being a terrible friend right now,” he argued.

“Uh-huh, well being a terrible friend is always my favorite, so,” Virgil leaned down, fumbling slightly as he picked Roman up bridal style, “We’re gonna get you to bed, and you can explore your feelings by sleeping.”

“Great, now you’re damsel-in-distressing me,” Roman said sarcastically, but he leaned his head into Virgil’s chest as he did so, which kind of ruined his point.

“Yeah, yeah. Act more like Megara next time, and maybe it’ll be different.”

•••

Roman groaned upon waking up. His whole body ached, but mainly it was focused around a sharper pain in his chest. He let his eyes flutter open, only to find Virgil staring at him from his desk.

“Ah,” Roman uttered, a jumble of memories from the past few hours returning. They felt foggy and mildly icky, but mainly the pain in them was the numb kind of pain, the tired kind. Really, it was indistinguishable from the dull ache of his bruises and cuts.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, as though he understood, even though he couldn’t possibly. “Uh, wanna talk about it?”

It was clear Virgil felt awkward asking the question. It was unclear whether that was due to his tendency to be embarrassed by everything he said, or—far more likely—that he wanted to stop babying a stupid prince, and just go about his business.

Roman sat up, suppressing a wince as best he could. “Do you want to hear about it?”

“Of course I do.” Virgil said it without an ounce of hesitation. Roman’s breath caught.

“Oh.” Roman shifted slightly over, and Virgil took a seat by him on the bed. “Okay. Uhm. I don’t know, I just—I messed up.” What else was new?

“...What did you mess up?” Virgil asked, with an inkling of suspicion, like he knew what this was about. But it wasn’t that; it wasn’t the callback—that was over and done and dead. Roman had created so many fantasies, so many crazy scenarios where they could somehow still make it in that stupid movie, and it had always filled him with hope or crushing pain or something, but as of this afternoon? He didn’t even care. It didn’t matter.

So, Roman ignored the question, and instead commented, “Janus got accepted.”

“What the fuck.”

Roman observed Virgil’s stricken expression like an unsettling kind of mirror of himself when—

My name is Janus.

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “I didn’t take it so well either.”

Virgil looked at him for a long moment, seeming to go through several series of emotions, before he was able to ask, “...What happened?”

Roman inhaled sharply. “I was wrong about being wrong about the wedding. Patton was also wrong; Janus was right, and then Patton was right because he wasn’t a total asshole to Janus, and I’m evil; Thomas hates me; whatever, you get it.”

He thought he would break down, saying it, but he felt oddly… fine. He sat, staring at the same spot as he was before, absentmindedly annoyed at the way his bandages itched. The normalcy of the situation almost made it worse. This sucked. This wasn’t even bad.This was the worst he had ever felt.

“Oook,” Virgil said, clearly not knowing where to start, “I—you—what do you mean: Thomas hates you?”

“Thought that one was self-explanatory.”

“He can’t hate you,” Virgil said with a laughable amount of conviction. “You’re still his… y’know.. goals. Desires. Hopes. Whatever. Just because this one didn’t go… perfectly, doesn’t mean you won’t keep—“ he struggled to find the phrasing for a moment— “...fighting, uh, valiantly for Thomas’s dreams!” he attempted at the encouragement with a weak smile.

Roman just shook his head. “No. I don’t know what he wants.”

Virgil’s smile dropped into confusion. “But… you are his wants.”

“That’s kind of the problem.”

Virgil seemed at a loss, and Roman felt like an asshole. Here he was trying to help him, and Roman couldn’t even be bothered to put on a smile to dismiss him from the duty.

“Please go,” Roman attempted weakly when he couldn’t find a more convincing argument in himself. He was meant to be an actor, but he knew he couldn’t hide the fact that he wanted him to stay, of course he did, so badly. He hoped Virgil would just quit with the chivalry and go despite that.

Virgil sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I'm going about this all wrong.”

Roman knew it probably wasn’t really him Virgil was mad at, but it was hard not to shrink away anyway.

“Look, Roman—“ Virgil turned to him, looked at him seriously, took his hands in his— “To be honest? I don’t care what happened. I don’t care who was right or wrong—I mean, we all know I’ve been in the wrong more than my fair share. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Roman didn’t miss the ambiguity of the end statement. “But… look, you don’t get it. When you mess up, you’re still you. You’re still...,” Roman gestured vaguely, which upset his bandages, and when he looked down at himself, he took note of the black/purple hoodie he was wearing. He melted slightly. This was exactly the point he was trying to make, “You’re still... y’know. Important.”

“Wh—? Of course you’re important, Ro. You’re creativity—“

“Thomas has two of those.”

Virgil looked at him like he was stupid. “Right, as if you’re anything like Remus.”

Roman’s lip quivered at that, and he had to look away, which was so stupid. And suddenly he felt all of the embarrassment at once—of this situation, of everything that had happened before, of the way he was about to cry, in front of Virgil, after he said that, which must look so—

“Roman?”

A hand was on his cheek, softly turning his face towards Virgil’s, though Roman still refused to meet his eyes.

Virgil cursed to himself under his breath. “Shit, this is exactly what I was trying not to say.” He sighed, and Roman hesitantly looked up at him. “Look. Even if you weren’t creativity, if you weren’t hopes or dreams or any of it—if you were a completely pointless side, which you aren’t, but if you were—I wouldn’t care. What I care about is that you’re... Roman. That you bother me until I sing Disney with you, that when you put your heart into something, you do it to a stupid amount, that you make Thomas take trashy buzzfeed soulmate quizzes when he’s stressed, and that you fucking try so hard for everything, even when I’m being a little bitch about it,” he paused. With the hand on Roman’s cheek, he traced the line of a scar down his jaw. It was one of the ones Roman usually made sure to put an illusion over, he noted offhandedly. “I care, because you’re my best friend.”

“Don’t say that,” Roman choked out. He couldn’t handle it if it was a lie, and part of him couldn’t manage hearing it as anything but exactly that. “Just—just—“

“Oh, Princey..”

Virgil held him as he broke. Roman didn’t know how long they sat like that as he let everything wash over him for a final time, let it all truly sink in at long last. He took heaving, messy sobs, no doubt ruining Virgil’s shirt in the process—he was quiet, though. He shook silently, save a couple choked breaths, in the other’s arms--that was a habit he had taught himself long ago.

When Roman had tired himself out, when all that was left was the pain in chest, (which was also suddenly duller—he was healing fast, even for a side—) he pulled back from the embrace. Virgil didn’t move by much, kept them so their fingers were laced together, as they sat staring at each other.

“Uhm. Thanks,” Roman gave a shaky smile, “You really—uh... I... I said some stupid stuff, huh?”

Virgil hesitated before he spoke, as if he knew he shouldn’t ask this right now, but needed to anyway. “...Roman, why’d you go to the Imagination?”

Roman felt ice stab at his chest upon the question. He didn’t want to do this. They had already talked about so much that he shouldn’t have gotten into; this was meant to be the part where they either parted or watched a stupid movie. And this, out of everything, was the conversation he most needed to avoid.

“Uh—I mean, to let off steam?” Roman gave a laugh as best he could. “Obviously, it didn’t go to plan—“

“Didn’t it?”

Roman’s face fell immediately. He struggled to come up with an answer, and even if he had had one, he didn’t think the sound would come out. This was enough of an answer in itself

“Shit,” Virgil breathed. Roman couldn’t help but be mildly annoyed by his surprise—clearly he had already known, he didn’t have to make it a big deal now.

“I… Princey—Roman…” Virgil looked him up and down, and Roman wanted to curl up and hide. “...how many times?”

“Not many,” Roman mumbled. Virgil must have known he was pushing the subject too far, because he just frowned and said,

“OK. I mean...it’s not OK, obviously, but you already know that, I just—“ he sighed. “Just… can you talk to me? Instead? Please? When you feel like… that.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Roman responded hastily, wanting an out from this topic.

Virgil gave him a look. “I’m serious. I mean—look, you don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just, come to me first, yeah?”

Roman’s face burned; he was embarrassed; he wanted to shrug this whole thing off, or roll his eyes, or maybe scream in annoyance. But the rational part of him knew Virgil was right. “OK,” he agreed softly, “...Thanks. For everything.”

Virgil looked surprised, and then flustered, and then waved off the earnest reply. “I mean, it wasn’t--I didn’t--it’s not like I did anything really--”

“You did.”

Virgil’s face softened. “Yeah, well... you’d’ve done the same for me. You... have done the same for me.”

Roman smiled gently at him. “By the way, Virge--” He hesitated. He was about to sound like a real dumbass if Virgil had only been saying this stuff for comfort’s sake. But making a fool of himself was becoming a theme for him anyway, so he continued, “You’re my best friend too.”

I love you.

In the same beats Roman thought it, Virgil squeezed his hand lightly 3 times. A breath passed between them. An understanding. That Roman couldn’t say it out loud, and Virgil wouldn’t.

Instead, Virgil fell back across the bed, bringing Roman with him in the motion. Roman let out a startled gasp and elbowed him lightly. “Hey! I’m injured, that could have been a fatal impact for me!” he whined.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah, OK. So, do you wanna watch a stupid movie, or what?”

[shoichee]

Can you do prompt #34 with Kagami?

hehe indeed i can anonie <3 im sorry it took so long D:

Kagami x Reader

34. “You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”

Word Count: 1110

prompt list here

»»—————　☼　—————««

“O-Ow!”

“S-Sorry, sorry!”

“Who the hell—oh…” Kagami throws his blanket off instinctively to face the intruder, only to find you clumsily settling yourself next to him on his bed, though you accidentally jabbed his ribs when you tried to “quietly” sneak on his bed.

“Uh… hi Taiga… please don’t mind me,” you say, sheepishly rearranging the pillows as Kagami rubbed his eyes to look at the clock.

“What are you even doing here (y/n)?” He frowns and double-blinks to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. The whole day had been exhausting but fun nonetheless, especially when you both went to a huge amusement park fair near Tokyo and went on an eating spree on the local food booths next to it after. However, your rendezvous was cut short in the evening when a torrential downpour came without a single warning from the broadcasts, creating chaos as people outdoors struggled to find immediate shelter. Unfortunately, both of you were soaked to the bone, and his apartment was conveniently the closest to go to until the rain subsided. When the rain showed no signs of stopping, Kagami offered you complete hospitality: from a change of fresh clothes, to warm servings of soup, and even a separate guest room to sleep in. It’s during times like these where he’s glad that he lives in a luxurious apartment.

Still, the luxuriousness of his residence doesn’t exempt him from hearing the nonstop-trickling of the torrent. Even now, the rain was still persisting to this very hour. At 4 a.m.

Kagami is unbelievably grumpy, managing to find sleep a few hours earlier only to be woken up again by you. At 4 a.m.

And he still needed to attend his college lectures tomorrow morning to save himself and his academic record from becoming a complete disaster, and he is still awake and yet to catch adequate rest. At 4 a.m.

His short fuse was this close to exploding from the exhaustion, but he knows better than to take it on you; after all, you’ve lectured on him far too many times for him to control his anger and properly find an output for them without harming anyone… so he yells a muffled scream into his pillow.

“I… um,” you begin, not knowing when to interrupt him. “You’re mad aren’t you?... I’m sorry… I didn’t really mean to wake you up at all.”

“Naw,” he says, his voice muffled. “Don’t worry about it.” He lifts his face from his pillow and takes a deep breath to cool his head. “I’ll be getting some water in the kitchen. You want a glass too?” When you give another sheepish chuckle and a nod, he stretches his sore body and slowly walks to find water, still trying to ignore the constant pitter-patters outside.

He comes back into his room with two cups of warm water, but he instantly raises a brow when he sees you fidgeting nervously on his sheets. He slightly tilts his head at you as you took a quick breath before you ask in a rush:

“Can we cuddle together while we’re sleeping?”

“Huh?”

“Can you… and me… cuddle?”

“Was there something wrong with your bed?” Kagami strolls over to give you your glass before he downs his own cup. You, on the other hand, savored the warmth it emitted to your hands. The poor redhead is visibly confused, wondering if there was a reason why you couldn’t sleep.

“It… didn't have you in it,” you cough, trying to send the message across that you wanted to be with him more. The longer he stared at you, however, the more conscious you felt under his gaze, and you decided to down the glass in a few gulps to make a distraction for yourself.

“So… You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?” Kagami slowly says, his split-brows furrowing harsher as he struggles to comprehend the entire situation. “You could’ve asked me from the start before we went to bed.”

“I… I don’t know,” you mumble. “I didn’t plan to wake you up but I guess I wasn’t careful enough. I’m sorry… I know you have important classes to attend tomorrow too, so I thought I was sneaky enough to slip under your covers… I guess I wasn’t.” Kagami only sighs as he takes your glass from your hands and places yours and his cup on the stand. He tiredly gets on the bed, the bed slightly dipping from his weight, and he reluctantly opens his arms to you with a pinkish hue on his face.

“... Come here.”

In response, you make a small noise of happiness as you crawl into his arms, and he immediately envelops you in his arms.

“Sorry for being so bothersome, Taiga,” you say, your voice muffled from his embrace. Kagami only sighs as he hugs you tighter, as if to silence you from further speaking.

“Geez, it’s fine.” Kagami gives a slightly exasperated sigh but gives a gentle peck to the top of your head. “I think it’s rather… um… cute…” You try to wriggle out of his arms to see his face, but he covers your eyes with his hand, knowing full well you would gleefully tease him if you ever saw how red his face was. “Geez, shouldn’t you be sleeping? You’re way too energetic at 4 a.m.”

“Mmm…” Right on cue, you gave a lethargic yawn. “Maybe…” You nuzzle into his neck, smiling when you feel Kagami flinching at the unexpected intimacy and growing warmer under your touch. But he gets his revenge shortly after when he buries his nose into your hair and then moves his lips to your ear.

“... If I don’t wake up on time tomorrow… would you mind doing that elbow jab like you did earlier?...” You tremble, not expecting to hear his voice being already leaden with drowsiness, but before you can properly respond, your ears register soft snores from him. All you do is chuckle before you shift yourself closer to Kagami, blissfully dozing into sleep before you become his personal alarm clock in a few hours for the next morning.

———

Bonus: Alex was the one who woke the both of you up when she tried to sneak into his apartment to try to steal his bed again. She was not expecting to see Taiga still sleeping, when he was usually an early-bird, and certainly not you snuggling alongside him.

Ah… young love is so priceless…

“Alex, what the hell are you doing here?! Get out!”

“Taiga! Sheesh! How can you be so rude to your teacher?”

“Wait, Taiga… She’s your basketball master?!”

[whumping-nsfw-ewbie]

Interrupted Study Session

My little introduction to Emily, one of the girls in the Casino ‘verse (created by me, @justplainwhump and @sableflynn)!

Content warnings: kidnapping (at gunpoint), home invasion (kind of) scenario, corrupt military police, lady whump.

I think that’s it? Please let me know if I missed anything!

I hope you enjoy!

One would think that I had learned my lesson from the last time I was studying for exams that working into the early hours of the morning is never a good idea. Why does past me like to punish present me with such stupid ideas like "oh, I'll deal with this later?"

Never again.

I rub my eyes and check the clock on my bedside table, on the opposite side of the room. 00:37. Certainly not the latest night I've ever pulled, but it's a good thing I don't have my lecture until 11am tomorrow. I can catch up on sleep if I keep studying until somewhere around 3 or 4am.

That is, if i don't fall asleep on my books first.

I can't even remember what the last three lines I just read were. Maybe I should just turn in and wake up early to do some reading when I'm less tired?

CRASH!

The sound of wood hitting wood out in the main apartment makes me almost jump out of my seat, and any fatigue I once had was now gone out of the sheer shock of the loud noise. In fact, I'm so stunned I don't even get up out of my seat. There are voices, commanding and booming, out in the living room.

Footsteps. Lots of them. Coordination. People are there, many of them.

Within seconds my door is kicked open, and I am face to face with a pair of armed soldiers, pointing a very scary looking rifle at me. That doesn't look fake.

The insignia of the council on the sleeves of the black-uniformed soldiers looks even more real, their masks covering everything but their eyes, as they bark at me to raise my hands and get out of my seat.

I can't think clearly enough to follow their instructions, not when I'm staring down the barrel of a gun. It seems they realise I'm not about to fight them, because one of the soldiers is behind me tying my wrists together with hard cuffs.

Someone says something about searching the rooms, and I'm dragged unceremoniously to the living area and forced to my knees in the middle of the room. My roommates - Tessa and Alistair - have suffered a similar fate to me, but seem to be holding it in better than I am. I can't stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks, Tessa holding back any emotion, and Alistair keeping his mouth shut.

I don't even have the courage to ask the soldiers watching over us why they're searching our home at almost 1am, even though I can hear them whispering between themselves as they look over the three of us. We're just three students, why is there the need for all this violence and security? Why all the guns? We haven't done anything wrong!

Someone else enters the apartment, and they look so different to the black clad soldiers that are upending every cupboard, turning everything upside down, something is smashed in the carnage somewhere.

This new man is wearing a proper military uniform, one that signifies importance. It makes me uneasy, the way they're looking at me.

"Major Grisham, sir." One of the black-clad soldiers leaves Tessa's bedroom and approaches the new person.

He takes off his gloves, turning to face the soldier. "Sergeant. Anything substantial?"

"Yes, sir. We're conducting a more thorough search."

"Well, get these three to interrogation immediately."

What? They... they found something, what? What have they found? What does Tessa or Alistair have to do with any of this? Why am I being grouped with them?!

But that's not nearly as terrifying as the interrogation the Major mentioned. What are they -?!

A soldier from behind me, clearly ready for that command, roughly shoves something soft between my teeth. Something that dries my tongue out the moment it makes contact. I don't even have the chance to spit it out before the soldier covers my mouth with tape, roughly securing it in place and ensuring very little sound will come from me.

As if that wasn't bad enough, something thick, black and heavy is placed over my head. A hood.

No. This isn't happening, it can’t be.

I've heard rumours about soldiers making arrests like this. One day your colleague is at work, the next they're taken in for questioning for terrorist charges you didn't know they committed. It's happened to one other person I know from my part time job.

I have yet to see or hear from them again.

I can't stop myself from letting out a low cry as I'm forced to my feet and dragged out of the door, the black hood making me more disoriented than usual as I am dragged down the steps. I can't stop the tears flooding what little of my vision I have left. There are distant sounds of radio chatter from the soldier who is pulling me around, even as we reach the familiar concrete sounds of the ground floor.

I'm scared, I didn't do anything, I'm innocent, how could they -

"Get in."

I'm shoved towards what appears to be a van, and I clamber inside. I can hear the other two get forced in, too. I can't tell whether I'm supposed to sit or stay stood up, or what, but the door slams shut barely a minute later.

This is... unreal...

[marauder-exe]

Sweater- Remus Lupin

Request: Hey boo! Love your writing, and that prompt list? Aaaaamazing. Maybe you could do one with remus with 54,64 and 79 from prompt list #2?? If not that's totally cool, I Don't know, just got that idea last night:) Lots of loveee.

Prompts:

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

64. “Your bedhead is really cute”

79. “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

Word count: 1.6K

You where so Absolutely, Undeniably, Indubitably tired. You had stayed up the previous night studying, and you had to pull n all nighter later tonight to study for a shitty potions exam, my god you hated N.E.W.T.S. The rest of your friends, the Marauders, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, everyone had already studied and got an early night, while you procrastinated, so you had to cram the night before. This is hell, why do you do this? But you decided to take full advantage of the empty common room and decided to set up shop down their for the night. It was 10Pm, you where fresh faced, full from supper and have a cup of tea. How hard could Potions be to grasp?

It turns out very hard. All of the stuff that actually went into your brain just got muddled up, and it just wasn't going well. Your tea had been left to go cold, and the entirety of your notes had been spilled out over the common room table. It was getting chilly, and you needed some more tea anyway, so you decided to take a break. How you hadn't gotten colder earlier is a mystery, as you where wearing biker shorts and a tank top. You grabbed your cup, and stood up, when the cold sent a shiver down your spine and goosebumps rose on your skin. Then an idea popped into your head. Every day since you met him, Remus Lupin had worn the exact same, comfy looking, sweater, day in, day out. And to be honest, that's something you could use right now. You crept up the stairs, closer to the boys dorm, and quietly knocked on, you waited a few seconds, but there was no reply.

“Rem?” You whisper-shouted.

Then almost instantaneously, the door swung open, revealing none other than Remus Lupin, with no shirt, plaid pyjama pants and a book in his hand. Of course. He gave you a warm smile as he opened the door for you to step into the room. Man he looked so damn adorable in the low light.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing up, its like 2Am?” He gave a questioning look.

“I'm sorry, its what?” Since when did it get that late, you could've sworn you'd only started studying an hour ago. He nodded toward the clock on his night stand, which, in classic Remus fashion, was also drowned in old books and chocolate. You let out a quiet giggle.

“Guess the time just got away from me. I was wondering...” You chuckled nervously, why was it so damn hard to ask this man for a sweater. Right, he was Remus. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you, and I could really use the comfort right now?” He just kinda stood there, jaw slack, fumbling over his words, trying to explain how much he would love to give you any sweater he owned, without sounding creepy of course.

“If you two are gonna shag, could you maybe do it quietly? I'm trying to sleep here” The grumbled voice of Sirius came from the end bed. Remus threw a pillow at him as you both blushed profusely.

“Yeah.” He said abruptly. “I mean yeah, of course you can, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah” He repeated, with a nervous laughter.

“So, can I borrow it?” You questioned sarcastically with a laugh.

“Yeah, ill go get it” He laughed lowly. He tried to be as smooth as he could but when you where around, he had the function of a paper plate. Trying to retrieve the jumper from his trunk, he slipped a few times, laughing and mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’. How can one man be so cute.  He quickly jogged back over to you, about to hand you the sweater, when he stopped to admire your beauty for a second, your face lit by the candle light. Well what he thought to be a second but was more closer to a minute, being snapped out of his daydream by a quiet ‘Rem?’ Coming from you. God he loved that nickname. He laughed and apologised, handing you the sweater.

“Don't stay up too late though, love, you wont be able to focus if you have no sleep” he lectured. “You want some chocolate to take down with you?” You gratefully accepted his offer, marvelling at the mass amounts of chocolate he had. He gave you a variety. You knew he had given you his expensive chocolate he had gotten for his birthday. But you pretended not to notice and thanked him for the gesture with a kiss on the cheek as you quickly ushered out of the room. Scared if you stayed too long, you'd do something you regret. Of course, you left so quick, you just missed the deep blush that appeared on Remus’ face as he held a hand against his cheek where you had just kissed. He heard a low “Man, you are soooooo whipped” From Sirius, but just threw a pillow at him. He lay back down on his bed, dreaming of you.

After your sweater and chocolate exchange with Remus, you decided to duck back into the kitchens for some more tea. A quick caffeine top up is just what you needed. As you got back to the common room it was quickly approaching 2:30Am, You decided to get a few more hours of study done, but now in Remus’ comfy sweater. Obviously it was wayyy to comforting, because you ended up nodding off on the common room couch at 4Am, engulfed by the sweater and surrounded by the smell of Remus.

While you slept soundly downstairs, Remus looked up at his clock. 4:45Am. Sleep alluded him lately much to his chagrin. His dreams were usually filled to the brim with you, wondering what his life would be like if you two where together. But recently, he had been thinking about doing something about it, causing him some sleepless nights. He though you liked him, he was 90% sure, okay more like 60%. But the marauders had him convinced that she liked him back. Hell even lily knew that the Gryffindor princess was smitten for Werewolf Boy. He just wanted you to be his, and for him to not be a bumbling, stammering, blushing mess around you He lay in his own head space for about 45 minutes, until he realised you where still downstairs. He was worried you might work yourself to death at this rate. So he quietly shuffled out of his bed, making his way down the stairs. What he saw when he got down there was, perhaps, the one thing he’d want to see for the rest of his life. You where curled up around a pillow on the common room couch, Remus’ sweater drowning you. You where bathing in the Dawn sunlight, and you looked absolutely ethereal. He thought if there was heaven on earth this would be it. If there where big, cartoon heart eyes in real life, he’d definitely have them right bout now. He stood there staring at you, with his big, cartoon heart eyes for a solid five minutes, until you began to stir and wake up. He tried to busy himself looking over your papers and other miscellaneous things on the table.

“Hey, Remmy, not stealing my notes are you?” You giggled in your cute morning voice. He stood, frozen and slack jawed. How could one woman be so perfect? “Rem? Oh no, what's wrong? Is it my terrible bed head?” You panicked trying to flatted your crazed hair. He quickly shook himself from his daydream.

“No, its… Your bed head is cute” He mumbled lowly, you giggled. “Its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes.”

“Well yeah, that was why I asked for it, it smells good” You breathed In the scent of his sweater, and Remus looked at you. Sat there, with a bed head, sleep deprived, having just woken up, still looking like an angel on earth. Why was he doing nothing about it? To hell if he was gonna let some douche get you before he could.

“Rem?” You questioned, blushing under his abnormally long stare. And before you knew it he had immediately rushed to you, his lips attaching to yours, passionate but hungry. He pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “Ive been wanting to do that for a while” He laughs and you giggle. But you where cut short by a slow clap ensuing from behind you, you both turned to see Sirius on the staircase, classic smirk and everything. Remus was about to scold Sirius and warn him not to tell the boys but Sirius already knew it. “Don't worry. ‘Remmmmyyyy’” He said in a dreamy voice. “I wont tell the boys” Remus released  breath and started counting down.

“3...2...1...” You furrowed your brows to question him, but it was soon answered by Sirius clamouring up the stairs screaming James’ name, probably about to tell him what just happened.

“Back in a sec, love” He said before rushing after Sirius, his werewolf traits no match for Sirius’ dog ones. You just stared after him, before shrinking down into the couch, sighing dreamily.

[wynniewright]

Secret Santa (Drabble)

→  This piece is a part of the Secret Santa event hosted by @bwcsecretsanta and was created for @n8dlesoupguk

→ Rating: PG-13

→ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

→ WC: 2.4k

→ Genre: secret santa au

→ Summary: When you pick Yoongi’s name for the dreaded secret santa event at work, things didn’t go exactly as you expected them to.

→ Warnings: much fluff, some mild vulgar language (I tried very hard not to use the f word)

AN: Okay, it’s 4am and I don’t have the mental capacity to do tags and the proper set-up into the story so I did the absolute bare minimum until I’m awake and actually able to process what the hell is going on. AS MENTIONED ABOVE, it’s a secret santa piece for my dear @n8dlesoupguk. I’m sorry this piece took so long to get out but I hope you enjoy it, even if it is a little on the drabble side. Thank you for letting me be your secret santa and I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.~ <3 

PS: Sorry I forced you to wait until the last possible moment and thank you for your patience love!

It’s official. You were officially the worst secret santa in the history of secret santas and honestly, even that was giving yourself too much credit. You could barely call yourself a secret santa. The qualifications were somewhat loose, being that all you had to do was fill in a gift card for your own secret santa to receive while you received one from a co-worker. 

If you were honest with yourself, you wouldn’t have even signed up if you didn’t think your manager, Seokjin, wasn’t looking over your shoulder. Sure, he said it was optional, but you were looking forward to a promotion to serving role so that you didn’t have to bus tables anymore. If getting on Jin’s good side meant you had to participate in some cheesy holiday event for work then that’s exactly what you were going to do.

You couldn’t even blame your poor time management skills on your strict manager, since he specifically told every staff member the rules:

Gifts cannot go oer the $30 budget

Gifts must be ready for the exchange on the morning of the 24th

That was easy enough, right? Whoever’s name you pulled, you could’ve gotten away with buying them a candle or maybe some fuzzy socks and a sheet mask. It was supposed to be easy. But instead of ease, panic set in the moment you opened your locker and realized whose secret santa you were.

Min Yoongi.

Out of the twenty-something other employees at the restaurant, you managed to pick THE Min Yoongi. How? You wished you knew. 

Pulling his name from the hat wasn’t horrible because it was him, in fact, if you actually cared about the work festivities, you would’ve jumped for joy and screeched into your pillow the moment you got home. But you didn’t care about the exchange and had no plans to put any thought into a personalized gift for the recipient. Hell, by the time you actually bothered to take a peek at the name was nearly 72 hours before the exchange. That’s exactly why you were at the mall before your shift, less than 24 hours until the gift exchange in front of the other staff, in search for a suitable gift for the cute boy.

No pressure, right?

You tossed out your idea of fuzzy socks and body care products and immediately headed to the mom-and-pop candle store in search of fall-scented candles. There should’ve been more space for additional details because, c’mon, how many fall candles existed? Since it was the day before Christmas Eve, you expected to have plenty of options with fall scents - but not as many as there were.

It was understatement to say that there were plenty of options when the entire store was just one massive cloud of the perfect holiday fragrances, cinnamon and apple wafting right out the doors and flooding your nostrils before you even stepped into the place.

It took a whole hour for you to test all of the scents, a bulk of the time wasted on debating whether or not Yoongi was the Christmas cookie type, or if he’d like Apple Pumpkin or even Holiday Hearth, whatever that was. After the first 10 minutes of sniffing, all the candles started to blend together and smell the same as the one before it, leaving you defeated.

Shortly after leaving, there was a brief moment where you thought about checking out another store for some candles, but considering your nose was fried with all those powerful scents, you didn’t think you could sniff another freaking candle without losing your sense of smell. Perhaps the beanie on his list would’ve been an easier find.

Boy, were you wrong.

After shopping at three different department stores, you came to the conclusion that trying to find a beanie during the peak of the winter season was an even worse idea than the candles. You knew better than to waste time looking for one of the most popular items for the season so you weren’t sure why it was a shock to you when you couldn’t get your hands on one. The last item on his wishlist was sour watermelon gummies and although those sounded like a decent idea for a multi-item gift, there was no way you would give him a $30 bag of candy. 

With slumped shoulders and a pout, you decided to head into Guitar Center with less than a half an hour until the start of your shift. You didn’t know what to look for, only that you needed to find something budget-friendly that Yoongi would definitely take a liking to. The only possible solution was to give him a sad $30 gift card and call it a day, huffing your way across the mall to where the restaurant was located on the other side.

Technically, a gift card to Guitar Center was the perfect gift for Yoongi. There was a level of passion in which Yoongi spoke about his instruments, talking about music as if it were alive. That’s exactly why you couldn’t screw up the gift by getting him a gift card, right? Even if it was $30, that money could’ve gone towards something he wanted to buy in the future and even if it wasn’t much, you were sure he would still love it.

With a little newfound confidence, you strode through the open doorway and greeted your longtime friend, Jeongguk who stood behind the host desk, scribbling onto something you couldn’t see. 

“Hey, Gukie,” you offered a friendly wave, catching his friendly grin and returning it with one of your own.

“Y/N! I can’t believe you came in today,” he said, maneuvering his way around the desk to wrap his arms tightly around your shoulders. “Did you manage to find something good?” He whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help the sigh that pressed through your lips. 

You grumbled, “I got him a gift card?” 

His almond eyes rounded out, widening as if you had another head sprouting from your shoulder. “You totally forgot rule three.”

“Rule three?”

You thought back to Jin giving everyone a mini lecture on what was allowed to be given as a gift, running through rules one and two but ultimately coming to a blank.

Jeongguk brushed his lean fingers through his perfectly styled hair, causing some strands to fall in his face before he ruffled the locks in the back. “Rule number three, no gift cards or restaurant merch.” He deadpanned.

The moment those words left his lips, your mind flashed back to your manager saying those exact words and nearly lost your shit right as Yoongi and one of his best pals, Hoseok, strolled on in. 

“Are you fu-”

“-oh, hey, Y/N.” Yoongi flashed his signature gummy smile, reserved but enough to break some hearts as they stopped right by the two of you.

Your heart sank with the realization that you somehow managed to become an even worse secret santa than you managed before, which honestly would be an achievement for you if it wasn’t for the fact that Min-freaking-Yoongi was going to the one disappointed in you.

“Hey, Yoongi,” you gave a half-hearted wave, trying your best to put on a smile while knowing full-well that it was flat and obviously painful. He passed by after a quick “it’s nice to see you again” and headed to the lockers in the back. 

Jeongguk watched the interaction and kept looking between the two of you as Yoongi walked further away, letting out a short whistle with a shake of his head. 

“You, my friend, are absolutely screwed.”

-----

You didn’t know exactly what you were thinking. A gift card? A freaking gift card? Seriously, how lame is that? People probably wrote poems about their recipient, shopped tirelessly for their favorite things until they were sure they were going to give the best gift a secret santa could give and there you were with a tiny, half-assed gift card that didn’t amount to anything nearly important enough and hoping that would suffice. 

You were disappointed in yourself. Sure, maybe time slipped by a bit too fast and left you with the last possible moment. Perhaps you could have blamed the sudden incline in hours after an excellent food critique brought an even larger crowd, telling him that’s why you didn’t have time to get something - anything - better. But that was just it. You couldn’t tell Yoongi that you didn’t care enough to buy a gift for anyone until you realized it was him. No way.

Feeling badly about the decision to get him a gift card, you managed to find a pair of fuzzy black socks - even though the color he put for his favorite was green but you knew that a majority of his closet was black - and a small, autumn-scented candle that anyone would enjoy with it’s subtle flair. You stuck those in the bag with the gift card, ultimately choosing to give both gifts despite them collectively doubling the budget. 

To say that nerves were getting to you wasn’t even the half of it. Your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing as each person around the circle was called to stand up and find the receiver of their gifts to hand them their early Christmas presents. The closer it got to you, the worse the bounding became, practically jumping up and down with every pull of your leg until you smacked it against your neighbor when they returned to their seat after their exchange.

“Alright, next is Y/N,” Seokjin clapped happily. You wished his positivity would’ve rubbed off on you and given you the strength to look Yoongi in the eye and hand him the monstrosity of a gift that you gave him. 

You pushed yourself up from the chair and and walked over to the other side, knees wobbling and hands growing slick as you neared Yoongi’s seat. With a deep breath, you extended the small bag his way and immediately ducked your head down when he took it, flying back to your seat on the opposite side and avoiding his gaze. 

It felt like hours going through everyone’s secret santa gift and you were too happy when Seokjin didn’t require us to open our presents in front of everyone. Presents were personal, right? Nobody wants to be exposed like that. 

You would’ve dipped on out of there as soon as the gift exchange ended but the nagging guilt forced you to make your way over to where Yoongi and Jeongguk were casually chatting. When you reached them, they both looked up at you with each of their own expressions: Yoongi’s eyes were dark yet curious as to what you wanted whereas Jeongguk knew exactly what was about to go down. 

“I’m actually going to catch Syd before she leaves. I’ll be right back,” he excused himself and made his exit, turning around the moment he was behind Yoongi to give you a supportive thumbs up. 

“Ah, right. I wanted to thank you for your gift, by the way. I really like the candle and I’m kinda digging the fuzzy socks so thanks.” Yoongi flicked his head to the side, pushing his dark hair out of his face as he smiled that heart-melting smile. 

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” You nibbled on your lip.

How were you supposed to go about this? Was it something you had to sort of dance around and hope he’d understand or something you have to tell straight up? While neither answer seemed desirable, there was nothing more terrifying than the thought of having to say, “I bought you what I was going to buy for anyone else that was my secret santa”. 

“The gifts?” Yoongi raised a brow, no doubt confused with the way you were taking things.

“Yeah,” you puffed out. “Is there any way I could give you something else? I was the worst and I waited to go shopping and the things on your list weren’t available no matter where I looked. I would say I tried but I don’t even feel like I did… I’m so sorry for being so stupid, I can’t believe I actually got you th-”. 

“-I don’t want anything else, though. I already have more than enough.” He stuck his lip out, his cheeks puffing out as if he were a child being rejected for some sweets. 

“I don’t think you understand. I really messed this up and I’m so embarrassed,” you pushed further, lowering your head into your hands with a groan. 

Yoongi was silent, thoughtfully watching you have a meltdown in your seat as he contemplated his next response. “And if I said there was something?” He asked.

“It’s yours.”

In a blink of an eye, Yoongi closed the space between the two of you, lips crashing into yours in a gentle yet exploratory kiss. Fireworks shot off somewhere in the back of your mind as you shut your eyes and grazed his cheek with your thumb. The kiss didn’t last nearly as long as you wanted it to, but it took your breath away regardless. The last of him still lingered on your lips as you opened your eyes, cheeks flushed and eyes wide as you took in the situation.

Min Yoongi just kissed you.

THE Min Yoongi just kissed YOU.

“What was that for?” you murmured under your breath, almost as if you wanted an answer but didn’t even want him to hear the question. 

He hummed, a playful glint in his eye as he gave a shrug. “You said I could have something I wanted in return. That’s what I wanted.”

His words warmed your heart and turned you into a giggling mess, leaving you hiding behind your purse with nothing but your eyes peeking over the top. 

“You’re serious? You’re not serious, no way.” You spoke half to yourself and half to him, still processing the feeling of his soft lips against yours. 

“I’m serious. In fact, if you want to go even further to make it up to me, let me take you to dinner next Friday.” He stuck out a hand between your two bodies, the offer laying right there in front of you while you still couldn’t believe what was happening.

You gripped his hand as quickly as possible and bounced in your seat, beaming with excitement as he matched your enthusiasm. “Yes! I mean,” you coughed. “Absolutely, yes. I’d love to.” You grinned.

Little did you know that being the worst secret santa in history would lead you to give Min Yoongi exactly what he wished for: you.

[staarshines]

okay, i gotta explain what the hell happened last night. i don’t have time to clean up errors, so excuse those.

tw// self-harm/cutting via knife/blade, abusive parents (mentally, emotionally, and almost physically), gaslighting, guilt-tripping, talk of suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, this could literally qualify as a traumatic event.

my parents and i got into a fight, typical sunday night. i was the bigger person and left and then my mom started crying and my dad guilt-tripped me while i was sitting in the bathroom: bad choice because you guys know what happened in there. and then my dumbass decided to put a wet paper towel over the cut before going to go pray—just putting nothing or a band-aid over it would’ve made it undetectable. my mom guilt-tripped me into feeling bad for her and i gave her a hug; one thing she does while a hug is just rub random parts of your body to soothe you, you know? guess which part her hand went over. shit hit the fan. they did not react the way you think they would’ve—and a lot of you guys know how my parents usually act. it was a shit ton worse than you could expect—even from them.  my dad went fucking nuts. and i’m not overstating. he threw his phone into the wall, threw my phone into the wall, stomped around the room, and then kicked the box of an expo board (that he’d ordered for my room) multiple times. he yelled about how i had hurt him and my mom, about how i was so ungrateful because i thought my life was hell (which i never said), and swore on his life that he would move us to pakistan (which is halfway across the world) and cut off any and every contact i have from everyone where i currently live. i was silent the entire time, and he just got angrier. then came my mom’s gaslighting. “i can’t believe you would do this”, “we didn’t expect this from you”, “are you hearing yourself?”, “what does this say about you?”, i could go on and on.  this went on for two goddamn hours. 10:32-12:57, and yes, i was checking the time. i completely explained myself to them—because it couldn’t have made things worse—and that calmed them down a little bit. but the gaslighting and guilt-tripping went on as i explained myself to them. about how i thought i had anxiety, depression, was experiencing suicidal thoughts, was scared for my future, etc.  they immediately invalidated all of those concerns.

and the worst thing is: they blamed my irl friends (they don’t even know about you guys, don’t worry) for me cutting myself. i genuinely don’t know what the fuck is going to happen at this point, but i had to give you guys an update. all i know right now, is: 1a) they’ve cut me off from any and every form of communication with my friends—or so they think, because they don’t know about my spam instagram account or my tumblr. they’ve taken away my phone, are monitoring my texts, and are going to delete my instagram and tiktok. 1b) they want me to completely cut off my friend group. the only friend group i have because, and i quote, “yes, it’s a rule in this house. no social interaction outside of school.” there’s not much i can do about this except make it look like that i’ve cut them off based on my messages and main instagram, but i’ll still be able to text them via my spam every once in a while. it’s unlikely that they’ll want to stay friends with me though, because only being able to talk to someone via their spam which they barely log into takes more effort than it should. 2) they’re saying they’re moving to somewhere else—and at the very least, they’re moving schools. i’m not worried about this too much, even the fact that they might actually move me to pakistan because the minute they do that i’m running away when i hit 18, no questions asked. i’ll still be able to have contact with you guys from anywhere as long as i have my laptop, though.  3) now they’ve done a complete 180º after my entire life: they’re saying they won’t give a shit if i’m a world-class neurosurgeon or if i work at mcdonald’s. they’re obviously lying, but this is a slap to the face for me because i’ve been yelled at for approximately three hours—nope, not overstating—for getting a b+ in a honors class i took as a freshman which you’re supposed to take as a junior. i was taking three other honors classes, one ap class, and was in 8 clubs/organizations that year (this was last year). they “admitted” that they were “pressuring” me into becoming a doctor; what they really said was they “saw potential” in me so they decided to “push” me. 4) they’ve moved my mattress to their room and are checking me about every 15-20 minutes. i literally have to sleep and do my homework in their room now. i woke up around 4am-ish and couldn’t go back to sleep until 6 which is how i figured out that pattern.  4a) they are constantly asking me what i’m doing. and it’s not even “what are you doing?”, it’s “who are you texting now?” when i start to type even a single word. (i have a macbook, so i can text my friends via my laptop.) i will literally be sitting in class, listening to the teacher lecture: “who are you on facetime with? you’re staring at the screen.” it is impossible for me to get work done. my mom has quieted down now but she’s been watching me, yes, watching me, for a good almost 1.5 hours. she doesn’t even have her phone. she’s just sitting on her couch, staring at me.

and yep, she’s been staring at me for the past 1 hour and 34 minutes as i wrote this (yes, it took that long because my parents constantly kept asking me shit and i had to close out of the tab a couple of times without saving the draft). shit is going to change on tumblr now: 1) writing has to come to a stop or at least slow down for now. i write to destress and i need that more than ever, but i’ve moved to completely writing my stories out in my notebooks and that takes time to transcribe. i know some of you guys have been waiting a while for me to get your request done and i’m on the verge of finishing those, but i just can’t do it right now. 2) activity is about to go down. i may be truly inactive for days or even weeks at a time, again, it all depends on how my parents decide to fuck up my life from here. i really wish i could be here talking to you guys every day, but that just can’t happen anymore.

if i have any other updates, i’ll let you guys know asap. i love all of you guys and i hope everyone stays safe. i’ll try my best to get things back to normal, but i can’t promise anything.

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[nokomiss]

deadtedkord replied to your post “taking prompts!”

more excellent jaysteph bonding please you're stuff for them is amazing!!

Even in Gotham, it’s hard to get takeout at 4am.  

So after a particularly grueling night fighting crime -- not Arkham-escape bad, but involving the Condiment King teaming up with Mad Hatter for easily one of the grossest in every imaginable way nights Steph could remember -- the troops all ended up at the Cave, fighting over who got into the showers first. The troops in question being Bruce, Damian, Tim, Jason and herself. Steph saw the writing on the wall immediately and booked it up stairs to shower in luxury before Bruce could complain about ketchup in his fancypants rich people showers.

After convincing herself that she couldn’t, actually, just live in the bathroom at Wayne Manor for the rest of her life, Steph reluctantly got out, wondering if she could convince Bruce that installing the same shower at her decidedly less luxurious home was actually a necessary crime fighting expense. The water pressure alone had relieved a few lingering muscle aches she’d been nursing a few days.  

She ransacked various rooms for a new, mustard-free outfit -- she had clothes stashed away somewhere, but everyone knew other people’s clothes are far superior, especially when they were Selina’s yoga pants, which she was never returning because damn they were amazing, Cass’ fuzzy socks and Tim’s softest hoodie.

By the time she returned to the cave, smelling like coconut and feeling like a champ, the boys had managed to clean themselves up and were bickering about food.

“I got Stromboli’s to deliver at 3 last week,” Damian was insisting, even though the Batcomputer clearly showed that they were closed.

“Maybe we could bribe someone at Batburger? They’re open all night,” Tim suggested, sounding doubtful about the prospect.

“There’s food here,” Steph suggested, because she, too, was starving.

Silence for a moment, then Bruce said, in a voice that almost sounded sheepish, “Alfred isn’t here.”

Steph felt a little bad about the smears of ketchup she’d undoubtedly left in the bathroom. “Did he… did he take the kitchen with him?”

“Pennyworth is the only one permitted to use the kitchen,” Damian said loftily while also not looking at anyone directly.

“Yeah, but… we’re hungry,” Steph pointed out.

“They don’t know how to cook,” Tim said, gesturing towards Bruce and Damian. “They’re really bad at it.”

“Like you’re any better,” Damian snapped. “Remember when you set the microwave on fire?”

“I didn’t realize there was still a spoon in the bowl!” The tops of Tim’s ears were turning bright red.

Steph looked at the only person in the room not howling about their own ineptitude in the kitchen. “Please tell me you’re not as useless as they are.”

“I’m insulted that you would think I am,” Jason replied. “I certainly didn’t grow up with a butler.”

Steph sighed, and said, “Wanna go make some food?”

Jason looked at the other three, who were suddenly very focused on writing the night’s mission report. “If it means we’re done with the paperwork, yeah.”

So she climbed the steps to up to the manor for the second time that night, and when she entered the kitchen she suddenly understood the silence and sheepish looks.

“I have seen active crime scenes less disastrous than this kitchen,” Jason said with an awed tone.

“How long has Alfred been gone? A year?” Steph said, staring. “And the question is, is he ever gonna return if he knows this is waiting on him?”

 “Probably he will, but he’ll finally snap and murder them all in a dishes-fueled rage,” Jason said, poking at the mountain of dirty china piled haphazardly in and around the sink.  He poked at a dish. “I’m pretty sure someone ate Spaghetti-Os out of fine china. Is this a real silver spoon?”

The spoon in question had curdled milk clinging to it.

“Okay so ten minutes ago, I would have told you there was no way anything could be grosser than Mad Hatter flopping around in a pool of mayonnaise,” Steph said, “but oh, how I have been proven wrong.”

“How do they even function as human beings?” Jason wondered. “Was it always this bad? I mean, I lived here. I know Bruce is an absolute moron in the kitchen. But…”  He looked around. “Wow.”

“Do you suddenly feel so much better about yourself as a person?” Steph said. “Because I gotta say. Really feeling good about myself right now.”

Jason offered a hand to high five, and Steph did, happily. They rummaged through the pantry side-by-side and found that the staples were still intact, though anything ready-made had been ransacked.  The fridge offered up similar bounty -- takeout leftovers of questionable providence, some wilting produce, and basics.  

“Pancakes?” Steph suggested once she saw the state of the waffle iron -- had someone tried to make a grilled cheese on it? -- and pulled out the dry ingredients. “I’m not willing to eat anything that requires a condiment right now.”  Thankfully maple syrup had not been one of Condiment King’s weapons of choice.

“I’ll make eggs,” Jason said, pulling out a carton. “And there’s some fake bacon of Damian’s.”

“We are a breakfast-making machine,” Steph said. It was true, too -- away from the chaos of crime fighting, she found that working alongside Jason in the kitchen was surprisingly easy. Steph stared at the sink again, and said, “I think that it’s time that certain vigilantes learned the domestic arts.”

“Yeah, we can’t let Alfred come back to this,” Jason said. “He’s too valuable. If he quit--”

“We’d never have his cookies ever again,” Steph said in horror. 

“Maybe we could steal Alfred,” Jason said after a pause. “Like, let nature take its course, then swoop in and take Alfred for our own.”

“Share custody of him,” Steph said, nodding. “We could put him on a rotating schedule, and give him days off, and… I don’t know. Let him join a book club, instead of spending all his time with these disasters.”

They spent a few moments in quiet contemplation of a life where Alfred showed up and made creme brulee at any hour of the day.  Then Steph sighed, giving the pancake batter one last stir before letting it sit and moving to the stove, clearing off several crystal goblets with what looked like coffee dregs in them before finding a griddle.  “There’s only one flaw with our plan.”

“The thing where Alfred loves Bruce like a son and would never abandon him to die alone and hungry in his filthy mansion?” Jason flipped the fake bacon.

“That’s the one,” Steph said, deciding the griddle was hot enough and spooning pancake batter onto it in cute little shapes. She thought that Damian’s should be hearts, and she experimented with bat-shapes for Bruce. 

Jason peered over and saw what she was doing. “I want stars.”

“Of course you do,” Steph said, though she tried to make one as soon as Damian’s hearts were done. It turned out a little wonky, but still recognizable. She was awesome. “Gotta be difficult, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jason replied, cracking eggs into a bowl.  He glanced at the kitchen door. “Are they hiding in the cave in shame?”

“Like, it’s wrong, but the fact that I think they are makes me really happy,” Steph said. “Like, kind of makes up for all those times they acted like I was a moron for not knowing something.”

“Right?” Jason said. 

“I mean, how do you master dozens of different kinds of kung fu, but never once master the grilled cheese? I was making my own grilled cheese in kindergarten!”

“There are only three ingredients,” Jason agreed. “It’s a true embarrassment.”

“We should nominate him for Worst Cooks In America,” Steph said. “I really want to see Bruce on reality television, and that would be comedy gold.”

“Just seeing him get an invitation to be one of the worst of anything would be fucking amazing,” Jason said. “Like, congratulations, sir, you suck at this.”

“You suck so hard we want to feature you on television,” Steph snickered.  She flipped the last of Bruce’s pancakes onto a plate before they burned, and began making Tim’s. She tried to make a coffee mug shape, but it turned out looking like a blob, so she made teddy bears instead.  

“I mean, I kind of get why they’re so terrible at it,” Steph said, “given their upbringings. But I would have literally starved if I hadn’t figured out how to cook early on. Takeout was not an option.”

“Right? Only for special occasions,” Jason said. “The rest of the time, you had to make shit yourself.”

“Exactly,” Steph nodded. They didn’t really talk much about how they were the ones in the family who’d grown up poor, who’d spent a lot of time raising themselves because their parents hadn’t been capable of it. She knew it was why Bruce had compared them so much -- there was a startling amount of similarities between their childhoods, from their mothers’ drug problems to their fathers’ criminal inclinations -- and for once, it felt nice to be the ones with the necessary skills while everyone else floundered. 

They grinned at each other, then put the last of the food onto the plates.  Steph grabbed the maple syrup, and stopped short, staring at the calendar on the fridge. “Four days!”

“What?” Jason said through a mouthful of fake bacon.

“Alfred has only been gone four days,” Steph said, pointing to the note on the fridge, “and he left prepared meals.”  

They gazed in wonder at the chaos around them. 

“He’s going to be back tomorrow,” Jason said suddenly, pointing.  

“Okay, so we feed the troops, then we start Mission: Learn to Do the Damn Dishes,” Steph said. Sleep was for the weak. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jason said, and followed her to the breakfast nook, setting down Tim and Damian’s plates and going back for the rest. “Wanna tell them now?”

“Let them have a final meal first,” Steph said. “Then we’ll light a fire under them.”

Jason grinned. By the time Bruce, Tim and Damian came out of the Cave, she and Jason had polished off half of their meal, and Steph had to admit that delivering a lecture to Batman about chores was one of the highlights of her week.  Possibly the entire month.

It took until dawn, but Alfred came home to a kitchen that no longer looked like it had witnessed the collapse of civilization.

[jyunshiim]

𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗇; 𝗋𝖾𝗃𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽༆

Genre and themes: hanahaki!au | unrequited love | fictional themes | unwanted love | college!au | fem! reader X Hendery | fem! X Xiaojun |

TW:  blood

Listen to:  Moonrise by Day6  | 4am playlist

➪  You wait patiently. Quarter to 7am is when you leave your mellow apartment, that you rent out, to get to your university. It was a 1 long, boresome train ride to get to Seoul University; you studied incredibly hard just to pass the entrance exams so you were always determined to be on time and not miss a day. not even one. The sun was rising, setting the city aglow and despite just being past dawn, people were bustling around in the university already, grabbing coffee from the local cafe or a sweet treat they craved that morning from the nearby patisserie for their breakfast. Seoul was absolutely magical.

8:10am: You had an early Biology lecture that morning and you barely had time to grab something energising, not even an energy drink but it was common for you to miss breakfast for the first 3 hours. The air was light and comfortable enough to walk to classes. In summer, there were clusters  of sweaty students scattered on the verdant greenery of the school making it very hard to walk through. The hallways were incommodious and it was impossible to walk through without feeling the heat and stickiness of everyone skin brushing against yours and the pungent aroma of sweat. The lecturer was already in the room and a few students were dispersed around waiting for the lecture to start.You went and sat at the seat you always sit at -since first year university -and you put your belongings down on the desk and got out your textbook, small white pencil case and your apricot coloured, spiral spined notebook which you just purchased last week. you clear your throat quietly and put a strand of you dark hair behind your ear before you scroll through your phone to pass the last 10 minutes of waiting time, replying to messages from your best friends.

Coffee club-

You had a group chat with your friends; Sicheng, Hanna, Minseo, and Xiaojun. Xiaojun always treated you so politely since you were kids.you both went to the same high school and you were always seen as a cutesy couple but you both weren’t, of course.You guys were close but never shared any romantic feelings for each other, at least you didn’t. They were talking about meeting at ‘Kangmin’s Koffee’ after University; The cafe had always been a place where you all hung out after uni and shared what happened in the day over coffee. Of course you’d say yes because you love your friends so much. 

10:55am: 

After university, you packed up your textbooks and walked out of the lecture room sighing at your study schedule. You would notice students waiting outside the room and one of them was familiar to you,perhpas because you’ve seen him around with Sicheng and his friend Yangyang – but never actually knew his name. You signed out swiftly and walked out of campus and took a right and to the dainty little cafe cafe adorned with pink blossoming flowers and wooden chairs and tables.The cafe was opposite this beautiful florist that captivated all the local people. The flowers were always fresh and almost had a nostalgic sense to it. you just wished someone would surprise you with a bouquet but that was impossible since you never had time for relationships. Sicheng scooted up next to Xiaojun and the waitress brough over the 5 coffees that they ordered before you came. “i know you like hazelnut coffee with extra ice so thats what i ordered you,” Xiaojun smiled playfully giving a gentle nudge. You took a sip of the coffee and indulged in the saccharine coffee, the flavours mingling with one another, the caffeine flowing through your bloodstream. It was heavenly to you and only Xiaojun knew you had such a sweet tooth.

“ew stop acting like a couple,” Minseo spoke in her soft gentle voice covering her eyes jokily. 

“we are not dating!” you giggle and push him away and he sits and smiles at you endearingly. 

“you both look like you wanna eat each others face,” Sicheng teases and jokes with Xiaojun and Xiaojun gets defensive.

“I DONT,” his cheeks flare up a blazing red. He gets flustered and you all laugh but you comfort him. The atmosphere was entrancing, the laughter of you and your friends echoing down the bustling streets and the last bit of warmth fading into horizon along with the sunshine. September was one of your favourite months for this exact reason. Xiaojun always walked you to the train station before vanishing as soon as you board and go on your way. 

You walk into your dorm. The fragrant rose scented room invited you to your cosy apartment, the white fluffy rug between your toes making you feel as if you were  on a cloud, the warm fair luminescent lights hung from the ceiling giving the room a relaxing atmosphere. You sigh and sink into your mattress curling up into a ball but the chime of your phone alerted you. As you looked down at the bright screen, you drag down to see the notification. Of course it was Xiaojun.  

Xiaojun: hey, get home safe?

YN: yeah i got home okay, quicker than usual to be honest

Xiaojun: okay good! what you doing now?

YN: Probably going to make dinner now, how about you? you better not be playing games again and forgetting to eat:/ make sure you eat okay

you sounded like you care too much about every aspect but it’s fine you’re just friends, you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.....

Xiaojun: yea i will, i’m studying for my Korean writing exam it’s so hard :<

YN: you’ll do well, i promise you :< ily

Xiaojun: you too! and thanks yn i know you will always give me the support 

Xiaojun offline

University was normal for the past month but as October came around, you felt this wave of motivation flood you. You wanted to change something or do something nice for yourself.  A cool halcyon autumns afternoon you and your friends met again at the cafe. It was a lot breezier outside than the last month; the sky was a painted an orangey pink hue and the street lamps illuminating the streets already. Whilst walking 20 minutes earlier to the usual spot, a thought sparked in your mind. You thought to get yourself some flowers for you apartment to fit with the autumnal theme. The glass door opens and the tingling chimes sound throughout the store and a worker gets behind the counter.The various fresh floral scents wafted past you; roses, lilies, gypsophilias and other various flowers and plants. You look around to see what variety there is and what you want for your bouquet-

“hey do you need any help,” a worker speaks to you. 

“i was wondering if i could get a combination of the pink roses and the gypsophilias?” You ask before whipping your head around to see a young boy, the same age as you you presumed and you paused examining his face. where have you seen him?

“wait, do you go to Seoul Uni?” you say with a sweet smile 

The boy smiles and you notice his little flower brooch; Hendery. “yeah i do, I major in Media production,”

“ohh yeaa you’re in my lecture room after my Bio lecture,” you recognised him, you just never knew his name.

His dark umber hair was floppy, perfectly waved in a way which framed his facial structure. As you looked at him making eye contact out of politeness you couldn't help but notice his glossy coffee orbs and the way he smiled so.. softly. It reminded you of Xiaojun. 

“ohh yeah,” he lets out a weak chuckle, “so roses and gypsophilias?” he begins to pick them up and take them to the table for the other worker to arrange them for you. 

“Yes please Hendery, thank you,” you smile and go to the counter to pay for them. Of course Hendery is taking your payment. As you hand your card, his fingertips brushed against your soft skin and you retreat, panicked. He moves his eyes to meet with your and you divert your vision to none other than your phone. “Here’s your card,” he slides it across the table to avoid the contact and smiles whilst returning a small bow too. He looks up and smiles again. “ your flowers will take around 20 minutes to be arrange and packaged would you be able to pick it up soon?” he asks following store rules and protocol of course... right?

“oh yes i’m at the cafe opposite with a few of my friends so i should be able to get them!” You smile and nod your head

“ahh okay! i hope to see you soon,” 

As you turn around and leave and go to the cafe opposite you can see him through the shop window mindlessly staring out of the window. You wave at him and he gives a shy one back. “yn! where’s our coffee?” Sicheng asks as he jogs over with Hanna and Minseo walking close behind him.

“oh i-” you stuttered

“she was on a secret date with someone, what’s that i smell? a new perfume,” Minseo teases

“nahh it’s definitely for Xiaojun, where is he anyway?” Hanna turns around and sees him running, holding his bag to his chest. 

“s-sorry for being late,” he pants his ebony hair messy.

“why is your hair messy?” you ask fixing his hair as he sits down “ it looks cute, right guys,”

They all agree in unison and Xiaojun chuckles, “ thanks guys,”

As minutes went on, they turned to an hour. You completely forgot to pick up your flowers but you still didn’t recall until you heard rustling and a throat clear from the left of you. The group stopped talking. “uh um hey, we’re closing up now and-” he puts the flowers into your hands. “see you around,” he smiles and head off. You looked at him on his motocycle driving off and you looked back at the group smiling and whispering.

“Its not what you think!” 

You friends look at you and then back at each other. “soo are you guys a thing or can i have him?” Hanna asks jokily

“NO I mean YEA I-” you try to think straight, this was really embarrassing “yeah do whatever he just happens to go to our university and works at the florist where i went to get some flowers for myself” – they all in unison said ‘ahh’.

Hendery became more talkative with you in university and as time went on you both became good friends. Hendery’s tender smile greeted you almost everyday and it was clear to see his shy barrier he had was slowly melting away to reveal his extroverted personality. Hendery was like a star beaming in a stygian night sky and his bouncy energy like a puppy waiting for a treat. Hendery had such a sweet winsome personality and you were happier than happy to be friends with him. One evening after University Hendery saw you outside waiting at the bus stop since you were on your way to meet the others at a Korean BBQ restaurant. It was colder and ever so dismal but as he walked next to you he greeted you and noticed that you were cold. “ You seem cold?” he tilts his head his soft locks being pushed back with his warm-skinned fingertips. “oh yeah well I’m a little dumb and i forgot to get a scarf or gloves. I didnt really know it’d be so cold today,” you let out a weak chuckle before rubbing your frostbitten hands trying to accumulate the body heat you had left. “Hey yn,” Hendery puts his hand on your shoulder and you feel a sudden warmth immersing you “take these,” he hands you his leather gloves “also are you sure you don’t want a lift to wherever you’re going? the buses are really full,” he informs you. You think a little bit. He has a motorcycle, you have to hold him. What will Xiaojun or the others think? You decided to take the offer. “if you don’t mind and if you’re free please join me in our meal!” you smile was gleaming and perfect. In his eyes.

You sit behind him and he hands you his helmet. “where’s yours?” you ask concerned. “oh don’t worry you wont be the cause of my death,” he jokes around “it’s not too far so we should be okay yn, hold tight okay,” he advised you. Your hands wrap gently around his waist and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Xiaojun hugged you and often playfully threw you onto the trampoline at his house when everyone was around and you were slightly tipsy. You felt a small pang in your chest. Rapidly, Hendery went from 0-60mph, zooming through the streets of Seoul. The city made you feel like you were in a movie scene running away with your true love, only right now it was a friend of yours taking you to the korean bbq place. The sun disappears and the moon replaces the suns place. The glowing orb in the sky illuminated the streets and reflected off the shop windows. It was peaceful, so serene. The abrupt stop meant that you arrived, your face slamming into Hendery’s back which made you move back quickly. “ yn, you alright there,” he smiles and lets out a little chuckle. You stutter slightly trying to pull the helmet off not knowing how you even got it on. 

“wait that’s not how you take it off,” he inches closer and gets to the twisted clip that got stuck to your necklace. He untwists the necklace being ever so careful and precise. You knew for a fact your friends could see you and this ‘mysterious’ guy outside standing only inches away from each others face. This only made you think... is this how people kiss? You felt his finger lift your chin up so he could see the buckle. “ahh i see the problem,” he smiles seeing the issue. The silver chain was jammed in the buckle and Hendery was gentle with you. This was NOT what you had planned. “AH! got it, you okay?” he asks you handing the helmet on his bike. “yeah i’m okay, thank you,” you gulp and he opens the door for you and your friends all exclaimed at the fact you finally arrived. You and Hendery both sit at the table; “ohh hey Hendery i didnt know would come too?” Sicheng fist bumps him and pours him a soju shot. “ I can’t drink, i’m gonna have to drive home,” he points at his ride outside and a subltle smile paints across his face. It was a little awkward, especially because of Hanna and Minseo since they didn’t know how to keep anything lowkey. Xiaojun always put extra beef on your plate and the girls kept teasing him. “hey, shes my best friend of course i’ll give her extra?” Xiaojun chuckle and nudges Minseo. “then why don’t you act like that with me?” Minseo pouts jokily and Xiaojun sarcastically rolls his eyes “okay Miss Kim Minseo, here is your beef and an extra bit of kimchi too” Xiaojun placed it on her plate and then of course Sicheng was joking around too pretending to be the girls mocking them playfully. To you, you looked at Minseo and Xiaojun and they...looked cute together. Besides your thirsty friends and the random pit in your stomach, the atmosphere felt euphoric; drinking soju, eating luscious  flavoursome food, talking and joking around with the people who you love the most. You sit and go for the water jug at the same time as Hendery and your hands collide again. why does this keep happening? You withdraw your hand away from it so he can pour himself a glass of water. “shall I?” he says holding the clear glass jug hovering over your glass and you just nod. 11:36pm. The restaurant was closing and everyone was en route home.

 The onyx night sky coruscated as the heavenly bodies gleamed, the solitary moon illuminating the street you stood on along with Sicheng, Minseo, Hanna, Xiaojun and of course Hendery. “Lucas should be here soon,” Sicheng says to Xiaojun as he looks at his phone and then loking back up to the road. You all waited for each other to go home so everyone was safe especially during this time of night. “How are you getting home yn?” Xiaojun asked. You stopped bretahing for a split second, “umm i’m not too sure? I can take a night train,” you say looking for your train card. You scavenge through your purse to look for it but it wasn’t there. The paleness took over your face and you looked up in panic; “ I don’t know where my train card went?” Xiaojun looked at you and put his hands on your shoulders, “ hey, it’s okay you can probably take a taxi home or even stay with Hanna and Minseo?” you thought about that but in fact you couldn’t since the girls had a small dorm within the campus which was only enough for 2 people and there was no space for an extra person. “It’s fine, I’ll find a way home” you say a little downhearted. “If you don’t mind I can drop you home,” Hendery broke the silence, grinding the floor with his heel. Everyone glance at him as if he were some sort of hero and you were the damsel in distress needing saving - but you knew that you lived too far and this was a reason why you’d only hang out after classes. “Hendery to the rescue,” Xiaojun and Sicheng praise him (as boys do) “ We trust Hendery, he’s a safe driver,” they reassure you but all you could do is give a weak smile back and move towards the motorcycle. As he hits on, he passes you the helmet and you decline the offer, “you’re the driver, you need it more?” you insist, concerned about his safety. “yn, trust me, nothing will happen to me,” You hesitate but take it and put it on your head and sit behind him. Your arms wrap around him again and Hendery takes a deep breathe, closes his eyes for a second and smiles to himself. He starts the vehicle. “i’ll see you guys on Monday!” You say to the others, looking at Xiaojun. 

Hendery drove down the incandescent streets of Seoul. Your fingertips fiddled with each other but they also rested on his stomach, the warmth of his body warmed you up on this cold journey home. For a little while, to have a break from straining your eyes, you closed them but your head unexpectedly rested in  his back and Hendery’s head twitched as if he was going to turn around but he couldn’t. It was soon after midnight when Hendery arrived to your apartment complex and you felt the hasty breaks. “you’re home yn,” he says and you shake your head blinking to see your home. “ thank you Hendery, thank your for joining me for our meal i hope it was enjoyable for you,” you say handing him his helmet back and stood on the pavement. “It’s okay, anytime honestly,” he smiles - so pure. so innocent. “maybe we should get a coffee together sometime,” he blurts out unexpectedly which came to you as a shock. “of course! you don’t have my number so you?” you ask him and he shakes his head. you both exchanged numbers and you knew that he would become a part of the coffee club...

A seed has been sown – A flower grows when it has been sown deep in the ground and eventually grows roots, a stem and blossoms into something beautiful. Beautiful things have evil outcomes.

You and Hendery started talking more over text and even call and of course sometimes there would be group facetimes where he would be included too. It felt amazing to have such great people and friends who were there for you although you couldn’t help but notice one thing. Xiaojun. One evening as you were cooking on facetime, you noticed Xiaojun texting someone on his phone, smiling, but not the kind where he found something funny. The smile where someone makes your heart flutter, like it’s on a million candy floss clouds floating to - well- who knows? You didn’t want to poke your nose in his private life but since you were kids, you told each other everything? whether it was embarrassing or not like the one time you fell in a puddle because you were too scared of a bee. 

“hey Xiaojun,” you say as you go closer to the webcam “why you so smiley for?” you sounded a little passive aggressive but you didn't mean to.

 “Just talking to someone,” he smiles but that’s all he says and your friends notice.

 “Hey yn, wanna go to the new boba themed cafe tomorrow?” Hendery asks 

 Sicheng gasps “OIOI let me come as well,” he says. 

Hanna frowns “ I have a Liberal arts examination tomorrow after uni, I can’t go but i hope you have fun! i’ll go next time,” she smiles. 

“how about you Minseo? are you free tomorrow too?” Sicheng asks whilst tackling his puppy that was trying to eat his phone.

“I have to help my mother.. with groceries” she nods with her sweet smile.

“what ‘bout you,” Sicheng tries to get Xiaojun’s attention

“o- OH me, I cant tomorrow sorry~” 

You had to go offline. You declined the call without notifying that you’re going offline.

That night as you sat on your phone on your chat with Xiaojun wanting to rant to him you stopped and deleted the message and slammed your phone down on your bed. Your chest hurt really bad, was it your asthma acting up again? You try to sit up and search for your pump in the bed side table where you put all your medication for easy access although when you used it, it didn’t work. Maybe you were just exhausted so you needed to sleep. Your phone chimes, it was Hendery:

Hendery: Hey, you alright? you seemed off on facetime and then left

YN: not really... 

should you lie?

YN: just going through a stressful time

HENDERY: do you wanna talk about it? i’m here to listen to you

YN: thank you but i’m not feeling well right now and i was half way through making dinner and i just can’t be bothered to continue. I wasted so much.... 

HENDERY: if you want i can help you out? I know Hanna has to study, idk about Minseo, Xiaojun has guitar practice now and Sicheng has dance rehearsals 

YN: thats what they said after i left right?

HENDERY: yea and I’m free so

YN: I mean if you want i dont wanna force you

HENDERY: anything for a friend

The fact that a new friend care about you more than your best friend who you knew since preschool

HENDERY: I’ll be there in around half an hour what’s your house number?

YN: ahh okay, I can pick you up from downstairs 

HENDERY: okay that’s fine :D

Hendery offline.

That evening when Hendery arrived, he brought extra snacks and ice cream as well as soju. “H-” you were cut off by him. “I know you like soju so let loose a little” he smiles “you didn’t need to buy me so much?” you exclaim. He goes over to your hob to see that you’re making cheesy tteokbokki with some ramen and were also half way through making a kimbap. “Easy meal, i can make this” he continues from where you stopped from. You kept looking at your phone to see if you got any notifications.. none. But you tried to forget about ti since Hendery was here to keep you company and you had someone to eat with. You felt suffocated so you opened your window a little to ventilate your apartment and you took a pump of your asthma pump and assisted Hendery with the food. The aura was serene and everything felt bright as if the stars had lowered themselves for you tonight. The food had been plated and the drinks were poured into glasses and you both sat on the couch facing the tv watching a show. “how you feeling?” he asks. You noticed that he asks you that quite often? why? “A little, you’re a good chef!” You compliment him and as you do you see his rather charming face glow up. Your phone chimed and you reached over for it and see the notification; “who is it?” Hendery asks, curious if it’s one of the others. “Oh, it’s just Xiaojun I don’t know what he wants right now,” you unlock your phone and read the message;

XIAOJUN: wyd

You felt your stomach spiralling viciously. were you about to throw up? Your chest began to hurt with affliction. 

YN: nothing hbu

XIAOJUN: I was talking

YN: to?

XIAOJUN: a friend of mine

YN: since when were you so interested in this friend that you’d ignore us on face time

You could feel it was getting harder to breathe and your cheeks were burning up red. “hey yn, you’re going red? easy slowly you might choke,”he coughed 

XIAOJUN: why are you so passive aggressive? if i’m annoying you i can go

YN: and talk to this friend, okay

XIAOJUN: ?? 

YN: nothing, I’ll go back to hanging out with Hendery, at least he cares.

XIAOJUN: you’re with Hendery!! Since when were you and him a thing! I’m happy for you :D

YN: we’re fucking not. he’s my friend... it’s a shame how my childhood best friend doesn’t give a fuck about me

yn is offline.

XIAOJUN: yn? what? what happened what did i do

XIAOJUN: lets talk this out

XIAOJUN: hello? come back online, i do care.

XIAOJUN: yn...

xiaojun is offline.

You threw your phone on the floor and got up leaving your food on the table and going to the bathroom. Quickly you knelt down at the toilet bowl and your stomach heaved what you just ate and not only that a bunch of water. It wasn’t bile, you knew what bile was but this was pure water that exited your body. You began to get chestier coughs and in this time Hendery knocked on the door. “ yn, you don’t sound well, do you want me to help you? can i come in?” Thats exactly how Xiaojun would speak to you and how much he cared for you. Your night was crashing down on you like an asteroid destroying everything that night. Hendery opened the door and saw you dangling over the toilet bowl having difficulties breathing and your cheeks tear stained. “oh my god, yn-” he rushes to get to you and tries to pick you up but your mind was a mess and your previous memories disrupted the present. “XIAOJUN GO AWAY!”

“Hey, yn... I’m not xiaojun I’m Hendery” he says gently trying to solace you. He was understanding and heartfelt. He had all the qualities that Xiaojun has to make a perfect best friend. Eventually you got to your bed with Hendery’s help and he cleaned the apartment up for you. He went into the bathroom and you heard the tap running but even closer he was heaving too? Maybe it was the cheese? who knew.. “ hey yn, if you need me you’re free to call or message me anytime okay,” thats what Xiaojun said too once. You nod and he leaves the apartment until the next day. 

The growth of roots 11:43am: You had your early morning lectures and you sat on the University steps on your phone since.

MINSEO: hey where are you?

HANNA: library studying :/ hbu

MINSEO: looking for Xiaojun

MINSEO: and yn + sicheng

HANNAH: ohh okay, Hendery?

MINSEO: ohh yeah i forgot about him 

HANNA: where’s yn?

MINSEO: idk??

XIAOJUN: you lot spam, i’m coming out from the back entrance, i’ll be there

*seen by yn*

XIAOJUN: i see you lurking yn

YN: okay

XIAOJUN: aren’t you meeting with your boyfriend

MINSEO: boyfriend???

YN: Hendery is not my boyfriend, can you fucking not :)

yn has turned off her activity status...

Xiaojun taps your shoulder and smiles at you profoundly and offers you a hand to help you up. “what are you doing here alone?” Xiaojun asks despite you going off at him. “i dont know i wanted to be alone?” you scoff as subtle as you could. “ well Xiaojun is here now,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist but it felt different.. to you at least. His flawless smile made you forget why you were mad at him in the first place; as you begin to walk your phone chimes.

HENDERY: hey where are you? I’m waiting at your bus stop :D

YN: i’ll be there soon sorry for making you wait

HENDERY:  it’s okay :D x

As you got to the main road, Xiaojun still had his arm around and Hendery called your name from afar but as he saw you both his smile dropped into a frown. Did you plan something without telling him to stitch him up? You writhe out of Xiaojun’s arms but he grabbed your arm. “where you doing?” he pouted and that was it. “w-with Hendery,” you gulped but your skin felt as if it were on flames and your lungs were clogged? you brought your asthma pump today too just incase. “oh yeah, he’s taking you out,” Xiaojun nods “ Have fun,” he suddenly drops your arm. You walk to Hendery not wanting to look back but Hendery saw what he saw and he didn’t want to say it....yet. That afternoon the boba shop with Hendery was diverting, it was a shame that it was just you two though... 

9:21PM: you sit at your dining table and scroll through your phone before you see a photo of Xiaojun on your feed but you thought nothing of it and scrolled past it. A painful knot began to grow within your lungs? what was this pain? You didn’t know what it was but the pain was just unbearable. It was difficult for you to breathe but you used your asthma pump but it didnt work this time so you ran to the bathroom again and your couldn’t help but throw up again but this time it was strange? There were red petals and leaves and peculiar vine looking things which startled you and couldn’t stop. The feeling was worse than last time, this time is felt tighter; there was was no scientific meaning behind this. You sat against the bathroom wall and pondered who you should tell? Maybe you’d keep it to yourself since no one would believe you right and claim that you’re making it up for attention, at least you hope they wouldn’t think that. You help your phone between your trembling hands, you were terrified. Coughing was painful; it was as if tiny thorns impaled you lungs and tight vines and roots were wrapping around it more and more every day. The question is, why? The whole night you sat in your apartment alone and agony. Help me. 

Your mind echoed with theories and conspiracies, were you a mutant? a glitch? or was this all a dream. The December Christmas festival was a big thing in Seoul so everything was decorated in red, white and green with snowflakes and mistletoes hidden around the street where the Cafe was. The tinsel glistened in the fairy lights swathed the tall street lamps as well as the shop windows. It was  Christmas day the following week and your friends organised a small Christmas party just amongst you and your friends and they decided to book a Karaoke room and then go to your apartment since you were the only one who lived alone. “what do you think yn? are you okay with the idea?” Minseo asks her pretty dusty pink lips pouting at you. She looked twice as pretty today; her hair was loosely curled, her eyes glittering soft pink and champagne, her lips a dusty pink and her clothing all neat and pretty. “yeah, that’s fine” you nod looking down and feel you coughing start up again covering your mouth “ excuse me..” you blurt out before running to the bathroom and locking yourself in a stall. “what happened?” Hanna asked confused and concerned “should we go to check on her?”. “I think she’s feeling unwell but we can go,” Minseo adds on and Hanna immediately gets up. Meanwhile, whilst you were coughing up blood, petals and full flower buds excruciatingly your phone chimes. 

XIAOJUN: hey, are u at the cafe with Minseo and Hanna? Sicheng and I are around the corner.

you ignored it since your excruciating pain didn't allow you to respond to him. Your eyes tear up smudging your eyeliner and staining your cheeks. Once you felt okay enough to leave, you fix your makeup and open the bathroom door. Opposite was the mens bathroom and you saw Hendery walk out too, brushing his thumb over the corner of his lip. “are you okay?” he asks looking at you noticing you were crying. “ i’m fine, just don’t feel well,” you lie “ your eyes are red? are you okay?” you ask him. There was a short silence. “just choked....on a hazelnut,” he responded. You knew he was lying but he knew you were too. December 24th 5pm the group met at the karaoke bar and went into the room they booked. It reminded you of your first year at university when it was just you and the girls; it was the first time you got drunk and had to crash at Hanna’s mothers house (of course she stayed with you). You all sat around the table and you were wedged between Xiaojun and Hendery. Great. Hanna and Sicheng picked a song and of course it was Girl Generation, Hanna’s favourite. You sat there next to Hendery and Xiaojun and Hendery tapped your shoulder to break you out of your dazed state. He slid a small shot glass across the table and you took it before choking on the pungent alcohol. “WOAH WOAH slow down yn, you normally never drink this quick or like this,” Xiaojun takes the shot glass from you. “and people change best friend,” you shrug his arm that sat on your shoulders off “ Hendery, please can you pour me an-” before your coughing began acting up again although this time you couldn’t run out since you were stuck between them; you felt liquid rise up your throat and thats when everything was out of your control and you coughed up blood, water buds and petals again and everyone gasped in shock and horror! “y-yn...” Xiaojun, Hanna and Minseo stopped and stared at you whilst you were trying to get rid of the flowers and buds. Hendery however put his arm around you and covered you and whispered something to you...

“hey, breathe slowly, it’s okay..” his mellifluous tone calming you.

“should we give you some space?” Xiaojun asks as he moves to sit next to Minseo and gave you and Hendery some space. Your heart ached and you closed your eyes and leaned into Hendery’s chest and he let out a small gasp. Hanna and Sicheng were back to the karaoke so the terrible singing, except Sicheng, drowned out the intrusive thoughts. Hendery hesitated putting his arms around you to form a hug, but he did anyway and comforted you. Around 7:30pm it was time to go to your apartment for the gift exchange for the secret santa you all organised. You had Xiaojun. oh the luck. Recently he hasn’t been acting the same and a pit fell in your stomach. You all sat in a circle. You sat next to Sicheng and Hendery this time. Xiaojun sat next to Hendery and Minseo. Sicheng gave his give to Minseo which was a fluffy pink purse like bag she had been wanting for months now and her face began to glow, the lights doing her all the justice. She was just... ethereal. you compared yourself to her a lot. “OMG Sicheng thank you so much I’ve been wanting this for so long” and hugged him. Next it was Hanna to Hendery; he unwrapped the gift and it was a silver plated rose pin. “ I didn’t know what to get but you work at a florist and seem to like flowers a lot,” She let out a soft chuckle. “ Its great! thank you!”. Minseo got Sicheng and got him a silver ring which looked rather expensive. You hesitated to give your gift to Xiaojun. You bought him a pair of shoes he has been wanting for a while and you wrote in your card;

‘ I hope we can step we can walk through everything together and not miss a single milestone.’

He smiles at the card - “ me too, let’s be friends even after we’re married,” but you know what he meant by that. Lastly it was Hendery. He gifted you a jewellery set which were little daisies made of silver as well as a little note inside 

‘ You look absolutely beautiful in silver, I hope you wear these and think of me, Hendery x’

“Thank you so much Hendery I love them so much!” You smiled at the gift. 

That evening as everyone drank hot drinks and played games together, you noticed something. Something about yourself. A deep desire that had been whirling in you mind and heart for the longest time had finally arisen and you decided that it was true. You look at him. His ebony locks neatly sitting over his forehead, his guitar bag on his back, his pearly white smile- everything about him. But he’s your best friend? you cant fall for him. This is what your heart was striking itself over and over again; your own best friend and your forbidden feelings for him. It all made sense. Whenever your eyes collided it felt like a million fireworks exploding into the sea of darkness, illuminating the void in your vacant heart making it feel vivacious. Your emptiness felt revived whenever he touched you, or your stomach would flutter when he would speak to you; his mellifluous voice echoing in your ears. That was it. You were completely in love with Xiaojun. It made sense after all these years you would grow such strong emotions for him and it was obvious now that you liked him. Perhaps he had the same feelings for you too since thats how he would act around you with all the holding and intimacy between you both and how he would care about you so much. You were certain of it. As you thought to yourself whilst in a room amongst your buoyant friends, you thought that perhaps you could confess to him. Now? okay maybe not now... maybe ask him to hang out after Christmas day? it was the best option. Eventually, as it hit 4am, everyone dozed off on the floor, couch and armchair. Xiaojun was curled up on one side of the couch, his arms hugging a cushion of yours and Sicheng on the other side. Hanna slept on the arm chair, Minseo slept against the sofa and Hendery slept on one side of your bed. Everywhere was occupied and you had no choice but to use the unoccupied space on your bed but it was fine he was your best friend so it was normal; you did this with Xiaojun and the girls multiple times.

You waited a while until New Years Eve to do what you have been planning for the remaining time that was left between Christmas and NYE. There was a firework display that was over the Han river and you and your friends went to see it. It was colder during the night time so you wrapped up warm and everyone was so effervescent and laughed together drinking sparkling Champagne or Prosecco. You stood next to Xiaojun and tapped his shoulder however he was too focused on the drink and on someone else talking to him. It wasn’t easy to hear each other since people were bustling around from town to the river. “Xiaojun!” you shout so he can hear you and he turns around smiling, his cheeks flushed a light pink. Everything seemed... different. He was glowing, his lips were a blushing pink, his skin like smooth glass. Everything had seemed to have enhanced? “I want to tell you something,” you say to him, a knot forming at your throat and you struggle to gulp your nerves. “ What is it?” he asks you lowering himself so he can hear you. His face was only inches away from your face and you wanted to do it, you really wanted to but you waited until 12am. “I’ll tell you after t-the countdown,” you stutter. He nods in confirmation and goes back to the group. Hendery talks and smiles with Sicheng but there was a fragment of pain and suffering in his eyes and you could tell when someone was hurting from a distance. He asked Sicheng to hold his drink before he went elsewhere.. did you want to follow him and ask hi if he’s okay or should you wait and tell Xiaojun how you felt. You chose him instead...

There was 1 minute left. You waited for the countdown. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

  HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

You look for Xiaojun since he wandered off closer to the front of the river. You run through the crowd of people but stop. Everything darkens. You feel empty. It felt like you feel out of heaven and everything was taken away from you. The heavenly passion, the sweet intentions you had vanished; Destroyed into an abyss of torment and pain. You felt the tear of you heart. I’m sorry. you tell yourself. You wish you didn’t have to witness what you did but.. well.. you did. 

Xiaojun stood there smiling ear to ear. The smile was sweet but you never saw him smile with so much admiration and love in his gaze before. You froze and watched what was happening, the pain in your heart only getting increasing worse and worse restricting you from breathing more. You see the girl he was looking at and it was none other than Minseo... His blushed lips pressed against her peachy toned lips, Minseo tip toeing to reach him and put her arms around his neck. He lifted her by the waist and the both giggled into each others kisses. You had it. You couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe it was time for this to all stop once and for all. Xiaojun comes up to you and sits beside you. “hey yn, what were you doing to tell me earlier?” he asks tilting his head back so his locks were pushed back from his face. “oh,” you pause. What else do you have to lose? “X-Xiaojun...” you stutter and he nods. “I-I loved you,”

Your heart stopped. It skipped a beat.

“huh?” he asks “you love me,” he chuckles “I’m glad you had the courage to tell me that yn but-” he gulps and smiles again “I love someone else...”

You didn’t know what to say but your tears took over. Hendery wandered around looking for you and saw you sobbing and Xiaojun not knowing what to do. He runs up to you; “ Yn? hey you okay, whats wrong,”. You didnt speak but just cried. “why is she crying?” Hendery asks Xiaojun concerned. “ I told her I love someone else... I didn’t know she liked me” Hendery stopped whilst holding you. “she liked you?” – rejection never tasted so good.. right

Now there were thunderstorms within Hendery’s mind and heart as well as yours.

Everything went black. 

You woke up. The bright light blinded you and you blinked hard to see where you were but the pain in your chest was.... gone. “how long has it been?” you ask a nurse in the room. “hmm 4 days,” You were shocked. “did i get surgery?” you ask. “ yes there was a peculiar blockage in your lungs and we had to remove them,”

You were pain free.

“ someones here to pick you up though,” The doors open to Hendery and Xiaojun. “Hey how are you now,” Xiaojun asks “I’m sorry about New Years, It’s just me and Minseo hung out once and there was this feeling i never had, i’m sorry i lead you on”

you thought for a bit. “I never liked you like that? I didn’t romantic feelings for you,” Hendery turns around and nods but leaves. “i’ll be back,”

“but you told me last night you did? i’m confused,” Xiaojun thinks

“oh, well i don’t,” You shrug

Hendery comes back and tells you both that it’s time for your discharge.

Months pass as everything is back to normal except one day. 

It was a refreshing spring day, the blossoming flowers glided through the spring breeze as the sun light cascades onto the viridescent greenery. You sit outside and always waited for your friends and always complimented how Xiaojun and Minseo looked, despite the memory that had been removed from your heart and mind. Hendery gave Xiaojun a small box and a card to give to you on your birthday; “ make sure she gets these on her birthday,” he tells him “i’ll be out of town for a while....” he lied but Xiaojun didn’t know but agreed to do what he asked. But as days went by a member of your friendship group vanished. Where did Hendery go? 

One evening, you received a small box and a card with it on your birthday. 

“ To my one love YN,

Since the second year of university when i first laid eyes on you I couldn’t control my feelings for you. You swept me away. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend your birthday with you but i had something i had to take care of. I have something important to tell you and that is you did love Xiaojun and whatever pain you felt was something i felt too.... for you. But getting the buds, vines and thorns removed it also made you lose all romantic feelings. Im sorry but I couldn’t see you in pain anymore. But i’ll be back... and hopefully my feelings wont get in the way anymore. 

-Hendery”

The silver rose was placed in the box. Hendery loved you? A rush of guilt and sadness flood through out you and now you were worried about him. He was in more pain than you were but he was strong and endured it just to make you happy. Because despite him being in pain, your happiness made him feel at ease. You called, messaged, you did everything you could. No answer at all. He disappeared. No sign of him at all and all you have left is a silver rose..

Where did Hendery go? 

[catfishandthebottlefan]

#4 - The Day We Got Signed

A/N - I don’t know where I got this idea from, but I love it because it’s super fluffy and happy! Note - I know Bondy wasn’t in the band when they got signed, but I don’t feel like I know Billy well enough to write his character, so we can just pretend it’s Bondy for now :P Enjoy the read :) ~ A x

You look at the clock.

“It’s been three hours. Come on Van. Phone me.” you think, pouring boiling water into your Pot Noodle.

All you know is Van and the lads are at a meeting with a record label.

“Y/N babe, this could be it, y’know,” he had said to you before leaving your flat, and getting in the van with the boys. 

Catfish and the Bottlemen had been quite unsuccessful thus far. The largest crowd they’d played to so far was 50, although Van seemed very proud of this. 

“We’ve played to half a hundred people!” he’d say, “We’re practically famous.”

The boys would play along, falling under the spell of Van’s incessant optimism. Even you believed that, one day, they’d make it big. Although you were living in student accommodation, paid for by your worryingly large loan, you knew that, one day, you and Van would have your own home. Whether it was paid for as a result of Van’s tenacity with the band, or your degree in Biomedical Science, one day, you would make it in life.

You sit at the kitchen “table” - a mountain of pizza boxes collected over 3 months. Bondy broke your real table by standing on it. Why he did that, nobody knew, but you were all high as fuck and nobody cared at the time. You cared now, but there was nothing you could do, as you were broke and didn’t have the audacity to ask your parents to buy you a new table. So, you coped with the pizza boxes.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see your phone screen light up. Your heart leaps. Could it be Van? Your stomach somersaults as the loud ringtone occupies the whole room. 

~Incoming Call~Larry🍻~

You prepare yourself for any kind of news when you answer the phone. It wasn’t like Larry to call you; usually it would be Van. You didn’t know whether to be excited or worried. After one least deep breath, you swipe the green icon across the screen, your hand shaking.

“Larry?” you say, excitedly.

“They’ve fucking done it, Y/N.”

You squeal ecstatically, punching the air in sheer joy. Tears fill your eyes and your voice begins to shake.

“They’ve been signed?!”

“I can’t believe it,” Larry replies, his voice shaking also, “The lads are in the meetings room signing some legal documents and shit-”

You burst into tears, the smile on your face stretching from ear to ear.

“Larry, mate!” you almost scream, “Fucks sake! I can’t believe it!”

“You should’ve seen Van’s face when he came out of the like, little room thing they were talking about the album in,” Larry babbles enthusiastically, “I wasn’t allowed in because, like, formalities and shit, but, mate, they’ve fucking smashed it!”

You are lost for words as you sit on the floor of your flat, tears streaming down your face. Your heart is filled to the brim with pride for Van and the boys.

You hear Larry talking to someone in the background.

“Y/N, it’s Van, they’re out the room thingy, he says-”

“Y/N!” you hear Van cry through the phone. He must have snatched it from Larry,

“Van, I’m so fucking proud of you.” you utter, shakily.

“I love you so so so much,” You hear Van sob through the other end of the phone, “We’re done now, we’ll be back in a couple of hours, oh my, I can’t believe it!”

“I always knew Catfish would come through.” You tell Van, sincerely, despite your voice still wavering through your tears of elation. 

As you hang up the phone, you lean back against the wall. Your head feels light and you can’t think straight due to the pure pride filling your chest. You sit for a minute, then decide you’ve got to throw these lads the best party they’ve ever been to. They deserve it, after all.

---

It’s been an hour and a half since Van hung up the phone, and the fridge is stacked to the brim with various types of beer, some cider, and a few bottles of vodka. You’ve placed some tobacco, papers, filters, and as much weed as you could afford on the “table”. You couldn’t afford a new table, but you could put the booze on the overdraft. Well, that’s what you told yourself.

Your old-fashioned record player is set up, with your growing stack of vinyls towering next to it - the place was set up for an epic party. All you needed now were the boys. You perch on the edge of your sofa, looking out of the window. All you can see is the quad, with some students sitting on a bench having a smoke. No Catfish and the Bottlemen.

Suddenly, you spot a familiar leather jacket, followed by a familiar pair of afros and a familiar hat. The boys.

You race to the phone resting by your front door, ready to open it for the boys even before they’ve pressed the intercom. You pull down the latch and swing the door open, to be lifted off the ground before your eyes even meet Van’s.

“Babe, can you fucking believe it?” he cries, elated, “We’ve made it.”

You kiss his lips passionately, until Bondy’s moans of “Get a room” cause Van to put you down. His sparkling blue eyes are teary, and his cheeks red from crying. Benji and Bob look overcome with happiness. You hug them both, kissing them each on the cheek, causing them to both blush equally. You hug Bondy enthusiastically. 

“Johnny Bond,” you say, “You’re officially a guitarist now.”

“Oh, piss off!” he replies, sarcastically, but still laughing, “I was always a guitarist!”

“Larry lid,” You hug Larry last, “Well done, mate.”

Van bursts into the kitchen, going straight for the fridge, pulling out beer after beer, tossing them to each person. Everyone catches their drink effortlessly, and cracks the cans open almost simultaneously.

You move into the living room and put Last Nite by The Strokes on the record player. A popular song, but a classic. It reminded you of the day you met Van and the lads in that busy pub after Catfish and the Bottlemen had performed to only you. You chuckled at the fact that the band nobody once turned up to see had now been signed by a real record label.

Van flops onto the sofa next to you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you onto his lap. Bob snaps a Polaroid of you both cosied up, the lit joint in Van’s mouth causing a puff of smoke over your faces. Larry sits at the “table” rolling everyone’s spliffs. Benji sits with Bondy on the other couch, sipping their beers straight from the can. This is the kind of atmosphere you’ll treasure forever, you think.

The chorus comes on, and Van puts his pint on the floor. He pulls you up off of the sofa, holding both of your hands, the joint still hanging out of his mouth.

“Last night, she said,” He belts out, in perfect timing.

The whole group sings back the next line, and you sing “Oh, it turns me off” on your own. This causes laughter to erupt amongst everybody. 

Hours slip by as you laugh and joke with the group, the atmosphere one of jubilation.

--

It’s nearing 4am. Bob is face down on your floor and Bondy has fallen asleep on the sofa with Benji slumped next to him. Larry is sleeping on Van’s lap. Van giggles as he strokes Larry’s forehead jokingly. You’re both high as fuck, as usual at 4am. 

“I think I have a lecture tomorrow,” you laugh.

“Me too.” Van replies.

“No you don’t,” you reply, hysterical with laughter. 

It takes a few attempts, but you manage to sweep Van’s hair out of his eyes. You get up and change the record to a compilation of The Kooks’ songs. First is Sofa Song - fitting, as you sit on your sofa, next to Van and Larry.

“You’re so amazing,” you say, wistfully, getting lost in Van’s blue eyes.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, babes.” he slurs, staring down at you.

As the sun begins to rise, and most people lie slumbering, dreaming of alternate realities, you feel like everything is as it should be. This time last year, Van was perhaps dreaming of being signed. Now, his dream was a reality.

You curl up next to the love of your life, as he lazily wraps his arm around you. Luke Pritchard sings Runaways softly from the record player. Life is good.

[emotionsofthesoul]

Capter 2 _ La Primera Foto

Valentina woke up early as usual for her 7am class. She had a full schedule this semester. 18 units, the max permitted by the university. She wanted to finish as soon as possible. She didn’t mind freelancing without a degree but her dad was very serious when he said, “Get your degree, show me you will actually commit to this. I won’t allow it if you just want it to be a hobby. I need you to do something with your life. If you get your BA you can even get a photography position in the company. I’ll give you your own department and magazine if you want, do with it as you please. Just graduate.”

She is daddy’s little girl and definitely the black sheep of the family. Grupo Carvajal is run by her father and siblings, Evangelina and Guillermo. Eva is the COO and Guille is the company’s lawyer. Valentina on the other hand doesn’t want to be tied down by the company let alone running it. She was convinced by her father’s proposal though because with that department she could bring exposure to up and coming artists, be it designers, photographers, or even models. She had it all planned out from the moment she agreed. She would make as many connections as she could for when the time came to run the department. Her family was a very influential part of society. She wasn’t sure why her father chose Sacramento of all places but he built his empire nonetheless and made it what it is today. The company has enough power to get governors elected, heck even presidents if Leon chose to use his power for politics. Nonetheless he always said he would not allow the company to campaign for politicians or to get involved with shady dealings.

Valentina has been in love with photography since she was 5 years old and her parents gave her her first camera. She still has that camera, in a glass box above her editing desk as a reminder of where it all began. It’s one of the things she shared with her mother and after her death it became her one true outlet.

Every Tuesday she would get up at 4am to be in class by 7 since she lives about an hour from campus. She decided to stay local because even though they have more than enough money to go to any university she wants she doesn’t care about the degree as much as her father does. It helps that many of her friends also go to Sacramento State.

Valentina is effortlessly beautiful but today she wanted to put a little more effort into her being since she would be meeting with her new friend. She was very cheerful this Thursday morning and no one was awake to notice. Valentina couldn’t wait until noon to see Juliana’s gorgeous smile. She could not stop thinking about the girl. She decided she would get a candid shot of her smile today and post it to her photography instagram if Juliana agreed.

_

Juliana woke up around 9am. She had gotten home late due to traffic. She told her parents about her new friend and that they planned on meeting the following day. Her mother Lupita was happy Juliana was finally allowing herself to make friends here. Juliana decided to hold off on telling her about Renata and the school as to avoid an argument. Her mother was going to her seventh interview since they got here. It had been hard for her to find a decent job during the day so Juliana hoped this job would finally be it for her mother. She could hear her parents’ stressful chats about money issues on most nights. Her father, Macario Valdes also known as El Chino had gotten a job the very first day they arrived working for a local grocery store but it was barely enough to survive. He had to get a second job and Juliana would barely see her father on most days. Lupita was applying for a secretary position at a very prestigious company in town and if she got the job she would be earning more than enough to give her husband the opportunity to look for a better job while quitting his night job.

Juliana wanted to get a job from the moment they arrived but her parents were against that because they said that as soon as she started earning her own money she would no longer bother with school and that was something they couldn’t allow. They wanted her to be someone, make something of herself. They wanted her to study a stable field, something in medicine. They were not too happy about her wanting to pursue fashion. Juliana wanted nothing more than to be a fashion designer and have her own shop.

Choosing to make her mother breakfast before her big interview she decided to make Lupita’s favorite pancakes with eggs sunny side up. While she made breakfast she couldn’t get Valentina out of head. She had such a great time with the girl and she was genuinely looking forward to their lunch date.

As time ticked away and noon rolled around she started heading towards the restaurant they had decided on. Valentina was already waiting for her at a table when she arrived.

“Hey, you’re early. How are you morrita?” Juliana said as she approached Valentina.

“Hey, yeah lecture wasn’t long today and since I’ve edited most of my images at home I didn’t have to stay for lab so I decided to head over. It’s been a good day so far, how are you how did your morning go?” Valentina asked in a tender tone.

“My morning went well. I cooked breakfast for my mom, she has a job interview today with some big company so I wanted to wish her luck and make sure she ate. I got a lot of reading done so it’s been a chill morning.”

“That’s very sweet of you, que tierna. Where is she applying?” Valentina asked taking a sip of her  water.

“Some company called Grupo Carvajal? For a secretary position, I don’t know much about it but I hope she gets it because she definitely deserves it and my parents definitely need this.” Juliana said as she held eye contact with Valentina.

“Grupo Carvajal? Really? What a crazy coincidence, that’s my family’s company. I’m telling you, it was destiny that we met! She’s probably applying as my dad’s secretary because he’s been looking for one since Lucia, my stepmother, stopped working there. I can pull some strings and get her the job if you want?” Valentina said.

“That’s crazy, you might be right. & no, it’s okay, we like earning everything we have and I don’t think my mom would be okay if she found out she was handed the job because I know the bosses daughter. Wait so why do you go to Sac State then, you could study wherever you want, why here?” Juliana asked very interested. She didn’t really care that Valentina had money she figured as much last night, the girl has a driver for crying out loud.

“Well it wasn’t really my decision to study but my dad said I had to get a degree in photography to show my commitment to the craft. I saw no point of studying elsewhere when I’m mostly doing it for him. We came to an agreement that I could run my own magazine and department once I graduate so that’s why my schedule is as full as it is. I have 5 classes I’m trying to finish as soon as possible.” Valentina said getting ready to order.

“That’s cool, I’m sure the magazine will turn out great. How much time do we have? What do you recommend?” Juliana said looking over the menu.

“Pues how about this, we order my three favorite rolls so you can try them and we order a side of popcorn shrimp just in case? My next class doesn’t start for another 3 hours so we have time.” Valentina said with a smile.

“Okay sounds good Val.”

The girls joked while eating their lunch. Juliana was very pleased with the sushi Valentina ordered. They were both stuffed by the time they finished everything.

“Oye we still have 2 hours do you want to go to the fab 40s? It’s a really pretty neighborhood that I think you’ll like.” Valentina said as she waved the waiter over to get the check.

“Okay pero we’re gonna split this right? I can’t let you pay for it all.” Juliana said concerned.

“Juls no te preocupes I got this, you pay next time, sound good?” Valentina said with a soft smile.

“Val… okay then I’ll take you to my favorite taco shop on Saturday before our walk.” Juliana said thinking quickly on how to repay Valentina.

Valentina told her driver to go back to the offices because she was going out with Juliana and she would take her back to campus. That she would let him know when she was out of school. As they got into Juliana’s Mustang, Camila Cabello’s Consequences started playing softly.

“Te gusta Camila?” Valentina said with a small giggle.

“Hey don’t judge me, that’s my babygirl right there. I’ve loved her for years. Just shut your eyes and listen to the song okay. The raw emotion in her voice.” Juliana said in defensive joking tone.

“Okay but after this can I play you a song?” Valentina said with the biggest smile yet. Juliana could not stop herself from smiling, looking at her with admiration and nodded.

They drove around for a bit as Valentina showed her the different houses she loved and showed her the crazy Halloween decorations. She told Juliana they had to go trick-or-treating here this year because they give the king size bars and it’s an experience she must live. After a while Valentina told Juliana to pull over in front of a brick house she loved. They stood leaning against the car as Valentina told her she always wished to have a house that looked like this and wants one like it when she gets married and has her own family. Juliana looked at her with complete tenderness in her eyes as she listened and hung onto every word Valentina spoke.

“Que? Porque me miras así?” Valentina said with a slight blush.

“Es que como quieres que te mire?” Juliana said with loving smile. “You look so cute talking about this house and what you wish to have one day.”

Valentina was fulling blushing now and couldn’t stop nuzzling into Juliana’s neck as to hide from her. “Okay can you please stand in front of this house while I take your picture I love your outfit and I think you owe for making me blush so much.”

“What, no! I’m gonna break your camera Val, no one wants that.” Juliana said while laughing.

“Hey, no, don’t say that.” Valentina said getting a bit serious and standing in front of Juliana. “Juliana you’re beautiful and everyone who can’t see that has to be blind.” She said caressing Juliana’s cheek.

“Ya, okay pues, how do you want me to pose?” Juliana said trying to change the subject and avoided eye contact.

Valentina noticed Juliana’s reaction and decided to respect that, “Um sit on these steps please. Get comfortable and pretend like I’m not even here.”

After getting a few good shots they went over them and Juliana gave her permission to post one of the images. As they drove back to campus Valentina showed Juliana her song and Juliana was smiling with her entire face including her eyes, in such a beautiful manner that Valentina felt it would be a crime to not capture this moment. Juliana noticed Valentina pulling out her camera but she didn’t mind and allowed her to snap the picture. They continued talking until they got to the photography building. Valentina didn’t want to exit the car but she hugged Juliana and they linked pinkies as a promise that they would meet again on Saturday.

As Valentina’s day went on she edited today’s images and uploaded the one Juliana agreed to and then she printed the candid shot from the car and put it up on her wall with all the rest of her friends’ picture. This picture though was different, it had a different impact on her heart. Something she was yet to understand.