#it’d kill me to get rid of any of them but it’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make for extra space

[prettyboysmlm]

cutie

-🥄??

nooo u

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Anklets and Necklaces

Inspired by this tweet.

@5-secondsofcolor I’m not sorry.

Female Reader insert. NSFW Content (18+). My smut writing is hella rusty. So I do apologize, whoops.

_______________

Calum plays at the anklet, spinning it around and around her joint as her legs are crossed and resting in his lap. The gold jewellry is hardly ever taken off since he gave it to her. In return, she gifted him a chain with a tiny pendant with her initial etched into the back of it. The front of it is an arrowhead. He wears it so often now, that when it’s off, he feels a little incomplete. It’s an easy gesture to carry her everywhere with him.

“Okay we gotta decide what to eat for lunch like now or I’m going to get hangry,” she states.

Calum glances up from his phone, to see her still scrolling on hers. “Oh no. Not hangry,” he teases. But he knows she means it. Her warnings have about a thirty minute window, just enough for a delivery if they get something simple. Or if they want something more complicated, they need to find a snack now while the main course is cooking. “What do you want? Thai? Mexican?”

“Would you hate me if I said I really just wanted nuggets from McDonalds?”

The pout on her lips makes him laugh, “No, I could never. Usual then?”

“Yes, please.”

Stretching across the length of her, Calum pushes his lips together, trying to ask for a kiss. She laughs in return and squeezes his cheeks. “Be lucky you’re cute,” she states before lifting up slightly to meet his lips. “And squishy.”

“Ain’t nothing on me squishy,” he huffs, straightening back up to put her order into the app.

She sets her phone down on her stomach, gazing up over the sharp line of his jaw that his plump cheeks sit atop. And while it’d be easy to return with a poke and a verbal jab about his cheeks, she just watches him. His fingers deftly work over the screen. The white tank sits as a stark contrast to the depth and glow of his skin. “I think all the right things on you are squishy.”

“Yeah, what are those?”

“Your cheeks. And as much as you and your trainer kick your ass, I know happy weight when I see it.”

Calum grins, a chuckle shaking through him as he sets his phone down on the arm of the couch--the order completed on his end. He pinches at her thighs. “Take that back.”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think I will. I like it--just like I like my cookies. Hard on the edges gooey in the middle.”

Standing for just a moment to let her legs fall onto the couch, Calum kneels onto the cushion, hovering above her. Her eyes glitter just a little as she talks and the soft easy smile on her face lets him know that it’s all out of love--what’s she’s saying. The pads of his fingers run along the side of her thigh. “Be lucky I love you.”

“I am already lucky, so say what you gotta say. Roast me, my love. It’s not like we don’t do that anyways.”

And truth be told, Calum had no response. Not when he looks at her, because God all he sees is the person that’s been with him on his bad mental days. She’s been there when Calum was sure there was no lower low or higher high. And what do you say to that person that’s been there, seen all of you that there is to see? With a gentle and chaste kiss, Calum settles for silence.

“Cat got your tongue now, huh?”

This--this Calum can respond too. It’s all too easy. “I know what else my tongue can have.”

“I know something your tongue can have too.”

“Really now?” Calum asks, dragging his fingers over the top of her thigh and tracing the line of her lounge shorts. “Food will be here in fifteen minutes though. So that’s up to you.”

“Not nearly enough time to savor it. Besides,” she starts and takes a pause. Her lips pull into a side smile and Calum knows what that means. One brow quirks in anticipation and Calum watches her. The silence settles for a little too long.

“Besides what?” he prompts again.

“Besides, I need the mail to be delivered first.”

“What did you buy?”

“You’ll see later. I promise. It’s really not even supposed to be used for lingerie. But I’ve wanted these for a long time and I specifically have a set I’m trying to complete.”

There’s the black mesh set that she’s slowly been building out. The main piece came in weeks ago, at this point it might even be months ago that that came in. He was privy to it then and gave it the christening that it deserved. But there wasn’t any other lingerie set that needed expansion. Not at least to his recalling. “Which one is it?”

“I’m not saying.”

“Oh please,” he whines, dropping his head into her neck. His lips softly and slowly seal kisses into her warm skin.

“No, Calum. I’ve been waiting on this package for weeks. It got held up in customs and I-” she sighs at his lips sucking at her skin. Not hard enough to cause a bruise, but just enough to make her spine tingle. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

Calum pushes up, with a huff, sitting back down on the opposite end of the couch. “This is killing me, you know?”

“Well, you ain’t dead yet. So I think you can tough it out for a little bit longer.”

“Begrudgingly--I want you to know that.”

She sits up, swinging her feet to the floor. “Your sacrifice will be duly noted. The mail will be here before you know it.” The couch releases her weight and Calum watches her pad into the kitchen. “Do you want anything?” she calls.

“I’m good,” he returns, knowing that he will be counting down the seconds until the mail comes. She returns with a glass of water, sitting back down on the couch, but bringing her feet up underneath her as she motions to the TV. “You watching that?”

Calum answers with a shrug. He wasn’t anymore. He originally turned it on mostly for the weather and some news. He found himself bored and flipping through channels before settling on the sports channel while he took care of Duke in the morning. Noise to fill the space since his brain needed the distraction. He hadn’t slept all that great the last few nights, decent sleep. The closer and closer the band got to putting out music the more his nerves kicked in--sometimes they were sneaky. The nerves come up faster than Calum had anticipated. And right now, they won the first round. But Calum was working hard to combat them so he could get about his daily life.

“Go crazy,” he finally verbally responds. And she picks up the remote, changing channels too fast for Calum to even understand how you could process what was on before decking it was a no. She eventually settles for HGTV--not quite caring what show was on. 

The first knock that comes to the door is the food that Calum ordered for the two of them. He answers it, popping up in the hopes it’s the mail. When it’s not, he sighs just a little but places the bag down onto the coffee table. “Your nugs, my queen,” he teases.

“Thank you, my good sir,” she returns with a grin, opening before divvying out what is for who. “You wouldn’t have happened to shot up like a bat outta hell because you wanted that to be the mail?”

Calum feels the heat in his cheeks, but bumps her shoulder gently. “No, why would I ever want that?”

“Oh I don’t know,” she scoffs in return, dunking a nugget into the sweet and sour sauce. They share a soft bout of laughter before turning their gaze back to the TV. Duke’s paws click as he ventures into the kitchen for a drink of water from his bowl. The lapping and splash of his tongue echoing just slightly as the screen goes dark between the show and the commercial break.

Calum lifts his gaze, taking in the soft angle of her jaw. She curls up around the carton of fries, eyes glued to the screen. Does she even have the slightest clue what she does to him? It’s not even the involved things like dressing up for him, or comforting him. It’s just her, when she’s munching on fries. Or when she sleepily walks behind Duke in the mornings. It’s when she hums as she cooks. It’s the dancing she does when she’s cleaning. It’s the pouts when she messes up on something and her brow furrows in as the determination settles onto her face.

It’s when she fucked up a birthday cake for him once--not greasing the sides of the pan enough and then adding a tad too much milk--called him crying about it and then in a minute flat resolved to make him brownies instead. Because she said she’d be damned if she didn’t make him something sweet to nibble on or pass along to the guys. And Calum’s not even that much of a sweets guy, which she knew, so she only settled on giving him half the batch she made. She, of course, saved the other half for her and her friends.

And it’s just the moments that she’s not even trying that makes Calum melt. Like when she paints her nails, she offers to do his first. Or when she lays down next to Duke, and in their shared silence, they seem to communicate everything with each other.

“I love you,” he states.

She turns, eyes widening for a second before grinning around her sip of iced tea. “I love you.” Her brows furrow just a little. “You okay? You’ve hardly touched your food.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“If you didn’t want McDonalds, I could’ve done something else. Literally anything else,” she continues on almost as if she hadn’t heard him.

“It’s not the food,” he giggles. Calum reaches out to caress her cheek. “I’m okay.”

She nods. “Okay.”

“I just love you, that’s all. Wanted to share it with you.”

Her grin is soft as it lifts her lips. “Good because you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“I wouldn’t dare dream of getting rid of you.”

Another silence envelopes them. Calum finishes his food and takes the empty containers to the trash. Another episode starts up from the speakers and just above it, he hears the chime of his phone. “Do you want me to screen it for you?”

“Yes please!” If it’s one of the guys, they won’t mind her answering. If it’s someone important, he doesn’t want to miss the call.

“Calum’s phone,” she answers but he can already hear her feet shuffling to him in the kitchen. “Okay, Ash. I’ll keep that in mind.” Her voice comes closer and Calum shakes his hands just a little to get rid of the excess water before drying them. “No, I can’t say what it is without taking a look. Did you use the soil I recommended last time?” Another pause comes from her and when Calum turns, he finds her leaning up the kitchen counter, phone halfway pulled down but not fully away from her ear. “Yeah, I definitely think you should consider changing soils. But I can take a better look tomorrow for you. I’m going to pass along the phone now.”

She hands the phone over. “He said it was important.”

“Thank you,” Calum says in a whisper, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then placing the phone to his ear. “Yeah, Ash?”

Calum’s not even sure how long the conversation goes on. At first, it is important information that Ashton’s trying to confirm--a date and time for a meeting that they had later in the week. He says he wrote it down where he writes down all their meetings but it’s not there. And Ashton’s trying to make sure that he doesn’t miss it. So Calum shuffles to his office and verifies in his calendar the time for the meeting.

But then the conversation diverges--they start talking about everything and anything. So much so, they’re laughing. Calum doesn’t even hear the knock at the front door. But he does notice her scurrying off into the bedroom. The door closes with a soft click. Duke comes trailing after her but notices the closer door and then keeps down the hall to the office. Calum reclines back in his seat trying to get another angle at the door. But it’s closed fully.

“You okay, gramps?” Calum asks Duke.

“Oh fuck off, mate!” Ashton laughs.

“Not you, you fucking egg. Duke--I was talking to Duke.”

“Oh!” Ashton giggles. “Sorry, I thought you was trying to talk shit.”

“I don’t have to try and do that to you.”

“Oi, don’t start something bro.” The two of them laugh and Calum bends down to scratch behind Duke’s ears. “Alright, thanks for confirming that meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow in the studio?”

“Yeah--bright and early. Talk to you later.” The call ends and when Calum spins around in his desk chair, his jaw drops as she steps out from the bedroom. It’s not exactly something new--as in something that she’s never worn before. But it doesn’t mean he ever gets tired of seeing her like this.

The white bustier pushes her breasts up and almost over the cups. And he travels the look down, taking in the baby blue skirt, fishnet knee highs. And he goes back up, taking in a black strap wrapping around her thighs. She notes the lustful gaze and steps right on the line of the threshold to the door.

“So,” Calum starts, trailing his gaze down and then back up to her face. “Not the black lingerie I was anticipating.”

“No, I’m waiting for the heels I want for that lingerie to go on sale. Besides, you didn’t like the collar I liked so I’m still searching.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like it. It’s just too similar to one we already bought.”

“You’re right, but still.”

Calum cracks a smile at the reluctant confession. “But enough about that. This--this is a cute outfit.”

She nods, smoothing out the pleated mini skirt. “It’s less about the outfit and more about these,” she says, tapping at the thin black band.

“And those are?” Calum asks. It’s one step closer into the room and Calum think he can make out a heart shaped metal loop in the middle of it. She takes a second step closer and Calum can see clearly it’s some sort of thigh garter--leather or something related as the material. “Oh,” he breathes.

She continues slowly to approach Calum and when she’s just in arms reach, she lifts the skirt up. It goes up inch by inch and Calum’s entranced. Watching more of her thighs revealed to him. And soon it’s black panties--mesh and if Calum remembers correctly crotchless. But wrapped around her waist is another band of leather. Two pieces hook to another metal hoop right on her hip bones and then one trip connects the top piece to the bottom.

“A harness garter belt--what do you think?” she asks in a whisper.

Calum exhales, desire stirring in the pit of his stomach. He reaches out, wrapping his fingers around her thighs and pulling her into him. He kisses in the spaces between the leather, gingerly, lips hardly touching her skin. “I think you look beautiful,” he hums, dropping his head on his neck to look up at her.

Her eyes are still closed and Calum softly runs the tips of his fingers up her thigh, tracing the lines of the harness. With a deep exhale, she finally blinks back to reality. “Not too silly?”

His brows meet in the middle of his face. Why would she think it’s too silly? There’s nothing silly about her standing in front of him, clearly excited about her own purchase. “Angel--I’ll be damned if I ever think this is silly.”

Swinging her leg over and settling onto his lap, she grins. “Thank you, love.”

Calum holds onto her hips, rubbing his palms down to her ass. “So you said this technically isn’t lingerie?”

“No--I don’t think so. But I think they could be--a small accessory to something I already have.”

They share a kiss, much too quick for Calum’s liking so he pulls her back in for more. And her arms wind around his neck as he continues to palm her ass. Here, he doesn’t really care what it is technically or not. She looks absolutely amazing. “I like it. In fact,” Calum starts, moving to grip her thighs before housing them both up and then plopping her down on the desk. “I really like them.”

Calum stands between her legs, nose brushing and bumping against hers. Here, she can feel her core aching as Calum’s fingers trail closer and closer to her heat. It’s feather light--his touch, but it makes her feel electric all the same. “Cal,” she hums.

“Yes baby?”

There’s nothing that comes out of her mouth but a small huff, a rushed and harsh exhale at the feeling of his fingers dancing across her skin. He grins pulling back just a little to see the way her face goes slack, almost as if she’s at peace with him between her legs.

“Was there something you wanted to say, darlin’?” Calum tries again, taking just a half step back away from her.

With her eyes still closed, she smiles. “I want to know,” she starts, exhaling softly to counter the thud of her heart in her chest, “if you’d so kindly want to make love to me?”

Calum can’t help his own small tuft of laughter. “Darlin’, I’d do so happily.” They don’t always wind up in bed like this--but it’s nice, to be comfortable even to be this forward with this and this open.

Calum takes her hand as she hops down from the desk. “Give me a twirl,” he asks. She obliges, turning in a circle for Calum, punctuating the back view by lifting her skirt up. “Silly girl,” Calum laughs, giving a firm but playful tap to her ass.

Facing Calum again, she wraps her arms around his torso. “But you love it.”

“I do. I love you.”

They share another kiss and she slowly walks backwards out of the room. They get lost in each other--Calum in the way she fits against him and her in the way Calum holds her, palms spanning across her back and tight enough that she wonders if he thinks she’s going to disappear but gently enough at the same time that she’d love nothing more than staying here forever in his hold.

Calum finds the zipper to the top and slowly drags it down. The material exhales, slowly falling away from her body and when it falls to the floor, he kisses her neck, down to the swell of her breast. Her moans are soft, just above a hum that makes just enough noise for him to hear. And it goes right to his gut.

Here there's very little need for words. When Calum gives, she takes happily. But when she tugs at his hair, Calum knows to step back, lets her give something to him. Her kisses are soft against his skin, but make him feel like it’s being set on fire. One that he’d happily stay in, let the blaze consume every inch of him, if it meant that she was always the one to take him.

His shirt goes to join hers. Her mouth teases his nipples as she descends further down on him. Calum thinks he sighs, all he can do is just shut his eyes and let go into the feeling of her teasing the cut of his hips beneath the sweatpants. She’s always like this, teasing him. At first, it used to annoy him. But now he loves it, loves just how close she’s willing to push him to the edge, push his buttons but always delivering at the end of it.

Her meticulous work, to watch him jump at every scratch of her nails and nip of her teeth, is enjoyable. But Calum blinks open his eyes to cup her jaw, which stops her. When her gaze lifts, Calum motions for her to stand. “Yes?” she grins standing to her full height.

Calum presses their foreheads together. “I missed you.”

“Well how dare I keep a man like you waiting?” With a slow kiss, tongues just barely dancing, Calum walks the two of them to the bed. The back of her knees hit the edge of it and she buckles just a little. Calum catches her from falling. “Turn around,” he whispers into her ear, “please.”

The instruction is obeyed and she spins to face the bed. Calum finds the zipper to the powder blue skirt and almost doesn’t want to take it off her. In the end, he does-- Calum lets the skirt fall onto a pool at their feet. Without even prompting she falls to her hands, ass grinding against his hips. He traces her spine with the pads of his fingers, following all the way down, over the curve of her ass and down to the opening in the panties. His fingers gather a bit of her arousal.

“Oh,” he groans. “So wet for me,” he hums with approval.

“Always for you,” she sighs. Calum teases her clit--a featherlight touch as he dances over her core. She lets herself fall a little bit more into the mattress--another moan leaving her lips when Calum takes one finger down from her clit to teasing her entrance.

Calum pulls away, bring his wet fingers to his lips and sucking them clean. “Taste just like heaven,” he hums. He gingerly guides her back to standing and uses her hips to get her to face him again.

More kisses are shared before they fall onto the mattress. Calum takes hold of one of the straps around her thigh and tugs her down, closer to him and she laughs. It gets caught off and morphed into a moan as Calum’s tongue licks a wide stripe up her. He’s careful of the mesh material of her panties, but knows that carefulness won’t last long. Not when her arousal coats his tongue. Not when her nails scratch over the muscles of his shoulders or tangle into the curls on his head.

She melts under the work of his mouth. The mattress merely becoming the vessel to hold the mess she’s bound to make and become. The room echoes the moans and slurps. Fingers gripping at the sheet, she chants Calum’s name. His tongue working magic over her core and just when she thinks she couldn’t possibly handle anything more, she notices the stretch at the addition of his fingers.

“Fuck,” she whines, lifiting one leg and he slips in even deeper, curling his fingers and hitting just the right spot.

Calum hungers for her pleasure--the high-pitched whine and groan as she releases. Some days it’s just the sound he needs to ground him. She gives short and breathless huffs, and quivers underneath him. “Gonna be a good girl?” Calum asks, fingers still pumping at her.

“Yes, oh yes, I will.”

“Gonna cum for me?”

“I want to, yes I’ll come for you. Make me your good girl.” Her voice sounds far away, as if she’s not fully cognizant of what she’s saying. Not quite babbling, but definitely talking so fast words bump into each other and slur together.

Calum grins, sucking at her clit again and she groans, head throwing back against the pillows. Her toes are curling--her whole body growing warmer with the passing second. The heat coils in her lower gut and she’s pleading. Though, she’s not sure who she is really meaning to plead to, but she wants to cum so badly.

Then it finally happens, one moment she’s sure she’s nearly in tears and the next, the coil snaps. She squeezes, hips raising off the bed and Calum continues to ride out her orgasm, gently pressing her back down into the bed. She hisses and starts to push at his shoulders, the signal that it’s too much. So Calum places one last kiss to her clit before pulling away from her glistening core.

Beneath him, eyes fluttering close, she looks angelic. Calum holds himself up above her and just watches the way she tries to collect her breath. “You’re beautiful, you know?” he whispers, not wanting to shatter the silence.

“No kidding?” she teases, winding her arms around his neck. The necklace dangles just a little in her face and she takes one hand to trace the chain. Hooking her fingers into it, she tugs Calum down to her. The taste of her arousal on Calum’s tongue makes her head spin. Calum caresses her side and stomach as the kiss deepens. Here is all they need--the soft and deep kisses, the moans that they swallow from each other.

Her hands leave from around his neck and begin to push down his sweatpants and underwear. And he lets her, even pulls back to kneel on his knees as she sits up. Their kiss hardly breaks and she’s quick to tug the cotton material down, hands wrapping around his length.

He groans at the squeeze--nothing too hard just enough pressure to make his whole body ignite. Her hand pumps him, once, then twice slowly and teasing him. “Baby,” he sighs, relishing the feeling of her hands working over him. The stay like that only for a minute or two before Calum pauses her to step down and full disrobe.

When he climbs back onto the bed, he crawls over her. “Welcome back, handsome,” she greets.

“Oh, it’s so good to be back,” he returns, grinning.

She runs her fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest, out of habit, out of something to ground her for a moment. There’s no way he’s real and it shouldn’t ever shock her like this. But sometimes it sneaks up on her and the realization of how madly in love she is with his man hits her all over again.

“What are you thinking about?” Calum asks.

“How much I love you,” she answers softly.

“I love you too,” he returns, bending down to kiss her. It’s soft and sweet--the kiss. For a moment, they just inhale the breaths of the other. It’s a tender moment, one that neither one wants to interrupt, so they let it linger, smiling at each other. She stretches up to kiss him, one hand trailing between their bodies and Calum catches the hint all too quickly when she traces along his length.

“I haven’t forgotten, love,” he exhales in a breathy laugh. “Trust me, I could never forget.” Once lined up, Calum’s slow to sink into her. One, he wants to drag this out, enjoy every inch of him that she grips of him. And two, because he wants to make sure that even in the lull that she’s ready to take him.

Her head falls back, hair pushing into the pillow and neck exposing itself to him. A tempting sight but Calum loses himself in the feeling of her wetness. He’s slow, pulling out just a bit before sinking further back into her. Her sighs and words of encouragement are soft from beneath him but they fuel him.

The pace quickens and both of them groan at the ecstasy. Out of reflex, she lifts one leg to readjust her hip flexor and Calum brings it up, resting her ankle on his shoulder. He kisses over the joint and the anklet, savoring just how much of her he can feel like this.

The chain dangles in her face, brushing in the valley of her breast and she revels in the feeling of Calum reaching the full depths of her body. She digs her nails into his flesh, more curses falling from her lip. But some of them get lost in the groans that win out. “God,” she huffs. “You’re everywhere.” And though it’s a bit of strain to get the words out because Calum’s pace is relentless as he snaps his hips into hers, she pushes the words out.

“You always take me so well,” he praises, watching the way her face contorts. “Oh, so soon, love? You’re going to cum again for me so fucking soon, like a good girl.”

Her whine slips out first but she nods, feeling the coil tightening yet again in her lower abdomen. Her body is hot, and she can already feel the prickle of sweat on her forehead. “Please, baby, please,” she begs.

“As you wish,” he hums, his own orgasm approaching faster than he anticipated. His body humming as the warmth spreads. The bed rocks just a little, hitting the wall and the sounds echo around them as they sigh and moan to each other. But the only thing that really matters to them, is each other.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, voice straining as she orgasms. No noise comes from her, but her mouth opens like if she had the breath she’d definitely be screaming his name. This time the quakes last longer, her whole body shaking. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” he hums, bumping his nose against her jaw, still riding through her orgasm.

“Shit, oh my god,” she shudders, wrapping her arms around his neck.

There’s a slight hiss when Calum moves again, and he kisses over her face, starting with her nose and then moving to her cheeks. Another quake takes her and Calum, not anticipating it, groans-- his orgasm now right on the edge. It won’t be much longer, but she nibbles at his earlobe. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Made me feel so fucking good. I want you to cum in me. So fucking deep,” she hums.

And while Calum’s trying to get his own rebuttal to the tip of his tongue, she squeezes around him. “Fuck,” he yelps just a little, his body erupting with his orgasm. His body shudders and he’s so blindsided by the feeling, his slips just a little, more of his weight settling onto her than usual.

She doesn’t say anything, just hums at the feeling of him succumbing to the pleasure. “Oh, that’s what I wanted,” she encourages. It leaves her throat like a purr and Calum shivers again at the sound.

They lay together, for a moment, her nails scratching lightly at the muscles in his back. Calum sinks into her, body going heavy. Her slight shift squeezes around him and he groans, sensitive. “Don’t--I can’t,” he laughs.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” Even her own voice sounds heavy and slurred. She kisses his temple and Calum pushes up. He’s slow to pull out, enjoying the drips that follow of his own release spilling out of her. With one finger he gently scopes it back up and into her. The familiar twinge of desire pulls at his lower gut and it’s almost enough. She even shivers, but Calum watches the way her eyes stay closed.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Sleepy now,” she returns.

“Let’s get cleaned up first and then we can nap.” His voice sounds farther away towards the end of the sentence and she assumes he went to the attached bathroom. The rush of water from the sink confirms it. Something wet and warm presses against her--no doubt Calum with a warm washcloth.

The clean up is swift as both of them share a shower and then under the sheets, they curl up around each other. Calum kisses the top of her head as she nuzzles in closely. “I want pancakes after our nap,” she mutters.

“I think we still have some blueberries.”

She pops up onto her elbow and grins a little. “It’s like you can read my mind.”

Calum laughs. “Maybe just a little bit.”

[annmarcus63]

GIVE US TO HIM

Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Warning: this might hurt a little

on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/34157128

Grandma said once that to give away your raw score is forbidden.

"Your heart in it's full rawness, chaos, is a precious and dangerous thing. Never you should do something as giving it to someone else."

"But our ancestors used to do it. Look ma ¡look!" said Jaskier holding his story book on the air for grandma's tired eyes to see. A handsome knight was lying on the dry grass, dying from a wound on his stomach. He started calling for his love, an ancient fae with blond hair and fair skin. She fell upon the prairie from the charged clouds, with something shiny between her hands. The fae feed the wound with her raw core, her heart. The knight lived along side her, flying amongst the starry night, happily ever after. "This are just stories, Julian" said Grandma with contened anger in her dry voice. She took the book and close it on her thighs "Things were rarely like that. Knights and kings are more inclined to use our cores against us and other people. We can't recover from that loss" Julian look at the drawing on the coverbook, the fae was kneeled by a pond and the knight stood glorious in practically all the cover, leaving a very small space for the real hero, the one who save the life of the protagonist.

"Never give your raw core away. Stop reading these, THEY wrote this, Julian, you must be clever than her" said Grandma pointing at the beautiful fae. Julian nod, undesrtanding much more that he wanted to, and so little, so so little. Maybe that was the reason his family were hiding, they never express it in a literal way, that was the point really, but Julian notice anyway. The way, for example, of how they said their names and the rust taste that was left on the air after. It was common to hide their real names for fae, but you'd give that name knowing it's false, on the opposite when you say the false name thinking is the real one then another fae would know. Losing the self was something of a disease between the fae. Jaskier later knew that his parents have not choice but to lose themselves to save the lineage. Most fae really. Humans did that. Like they did to the elfes. Julian promise to never forget about the fae from his last storybook. He'll never forget about her sacrifice and the sacrifice of his people. But come on, after some years it was just naturally that, despite the wound on the history, a selfish creature he was and he forgot. He was raised as human, and he wanted to be a bard oh how he want it. And he did accomplish that, and a bloody good one that's for sure. Fae were extinct for all the world and that wasn't a cover, they're doomed to extinction sooner or later. It has been years since the last time Jaskier felt another fae being born. He is Jaskier troubadour, master of the seven liberal arts a mastermind amongst the crowds, a legend…an idiot most of the time basically.

What grandma failed to mention is that for a fae to be able to give their core away the recipient must be worthy at the eyes of the fae. Once this worthiness makes evident, that person would plant roots in the core itself, whether the fae want it or not. It's inevitable. Grandma should have said "be aware of where you place your heart. Hold it until you're fully sure of them" But well, it wouldn't have matter in the end. Jaskier have never being someone who follows advice, much less from his dead relative. It happened naturally, like breathing, eating and shitting. One moment he was standing next to Geralt under a pouring rain, the witcher kept looking for a missing girl on the edges of the woods, her parents place a bounty on the towns board, they couldn't offer payment in form of crowns but they're willing to let them sleep on the girl’s room. Jaskier became indignant, how a witcher is supposed to take a payless bounty? No, that is unacceptable. But despite the protesting bard and zero reward whatsoever Geralt went anyway, he look for a girl who surelly was already dead.

"I found her body near the cave by the pond. You can go for her by morning when it's safe. I'm sorry" after a minute of silence the parents with equal expression of cold sorrow release a heavy sigh charged with so much grief.

"What did it?" asked the father

"Nekkers. I got rid of the pack living there"

"Thank you, witcher. You and your bard can come in, i'm sure you're exhausted” Said the mother with great effort, like someone who can't breathe quite well.

Geralt rapidly added "No, I'm sure you and your husband need time to resign and mourn alone. My bard and i already had another place to stay" Eh, no they didn't.

"But...we don't have any crowns"

"I didn't do this for payment" And while the parents thanked infinitely to Geralt, Jaskier felt something wild and untamed surging from his chest. Reaching unabashed for the witcher with a big golden heart standing next to him, explaining to a mourning parents that he went to search for their lost daughter because he wanted to help. This new awareness of chaos, he knew what it was.

Chaos, core, raw.

And it had marked Geralt as his. We want him.

Give us to him. He's worthy.

He was doomed, so doomed from the very beginning since they encounter each other on Posada. Grandma tried to warn him of this. Oh grandma, you and i both know that I was never obedient or wise. So Jaskier let it happen, four years after knowing the witcher and his raw core already belong to him. But he didn't do it. He hold back despite the urgency on his chest because he wasn't sure it'll be welcome. Geralt was still trying to get rid of him in every town, sometimes Jaskier felt like a pet you don't want but you can't abandon it either. Surely there'd be a time in the future. And Jaskier wait and fell in love deeply with each passing year. And Geralt...well he was the same and also different in his own way, more at ease around him, softer maybe. Jaskier didn't need to be call a friend to felt like one to Geralt. They're friends, even if one part has being in denial for the past decade.

And then the djinn happened follow by the complicated affair with one Yennefer of Vandenberg. The curse caused the core to retreat afraid and wounded. He hurt us, he wished to hurt us. Jaskier argued with the voice that it wasn't his intention, he didn't even know he was the one with the wishes. In truth his heart shattered not for the wish but for the easiness in which the sorceress become someone important to Geralt, something to hold on to even if drowning. One decade and still Jaskier thinks he haven't reached that relationship level with his friend.

He doesn't want us

No.

"Uhmm?"

"What?"

"You said no"

"Oh, it's nothing" Geralt didn't ask again

But weak and in love he was, the raw core and him reached out again, with fully open arms for Geralt to pull. Jaskier long to belong to him, oh how he did.

Yennefer and her shining imbecile knight join the hunt and he was jealous because as soon as she appear the witcher was drooling as if she was all he needed to shut down the darkness inside.

Don't you know? inside me there's a full light waiting for you to hold

At the softness of the afternoon Jaskier found Geralt sitting on a rock lost, as usual, in though. But this time were different, he had failed three people, Borch's dead has left a wound that surely would scar badly. And the bard felt a deep sadness for his golden heart witcher. He's definitely blaming himself for the fall, for that narrow and insecure path alongside the mountain as if he was the one to build it.

Jaskier asked him to come with him to his home, to the coast, he yearn to be there with him and feel the sea wind on their faces while walking by a cliff near a quiet village that Geralt wouldn't mind to visit.

We want to be his.

Give us to him.

We can love him better.

But Geralt didn't want him, he wanted Yennefer.

He give himself to him anyway.

"Here" said Jaskier putting a hand on Geralt's thigh, surprise, instead of flinching away Geralt held Jaskier's hand and with most carefulness took what was inside the palm. A small glass vial, similar to the ones where he pours his potions. He held it on his gloved open hand. There was something inside, warm and inviting. White, almost yellow that make Geralt felt calm and safe.

"What's this?"

"A gift. It'd take care of you" Geralt frown at him, confused and uncertain of what it meant, but he took it with a barely there smile only for Jaskier to see.

He's a coward, he couldn't confessed him the reality of what it meant because he was terrified of being rejected, grandma said that a rejection is so devastating that it might kill him. And even at this point in their friendship Jaskier couldn't know for sure.

It's me. Take me, i'll protect and save you if needed to. Have me, please have me.

Geralt went that night at Yennefer's tent and Jaskier felt glad for not having told him the truth

"If life could give me a blessing it would be to take you off my hands"

No, no, not now.

They're doing fine.

And then very fast very suddenly Geralt reached for his breast pocket to held the vial of raw core on his fist and toss it unceremoniously to the hard soild.

The noise of shattered glass invaded Jaskier's ears before the heavy blankness surged from his chest to every corner of him.

“No, no, no” said he, giving a fumbling step towards the vial but deciding to turn around instead.

Away away away away.

He can't see me like this.

Something was tearing in fine lines caused by the trembling, an earthquake from his very bones that were fighting on maintaining their solid formation. Something inside was bawling with such and intensity that make his ears bleed.

Was this dying? let it be death for he can no longer take it. Does breathing always hurt this much? like if his lungs were filled with wool and the air only add heaviness on them. What was this? a beating heart, so afraid so betrayed, like a laugh from his ancestors. He wanted to throw up his intestines, they're on fire, but when he tried only saliva flood. He was not himself anymore, and to become whole was an impossibility that the pain was making sure off. Dirt get inside his mouth, his cheek on the ground was getting cut by rocks. A voice calling for him to react, to say something. But he no longer have a voice, he was death itself preparing for a long dream.

I’m sorry grandma.

I'm sorry, said to himself

and he remembered the blond fae on the cover book between grandma's hands, of how she give her life to save her love one, but who'd give their life for her?

who'd give their life for him?

He needed to sleep, right here on the mountain ground, to become whole again or at least half whole.

He begged for death instead.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 7x04 Beauty

I freaking adore this episode! 

Storybrooke, I missed you!

Belle finally gets to travel the world! She’s wanted that since season 1, bless her.

Tilly! Loml! I remember being like, yay, fellow autistic! 

Who was Tilly’s ex-girlfriend? Was she real or just part of her fake memories? I still think it was Ivy. Give me all the Curious Archer/Rainy Rook love triangles! Ivy and Robin would absolutely hate eachother. I need more fics of this now! I may have already written one xD. Can’t believe we didn’t get any Alice with Ivy or Robin with Ivy interactions.

I love Tilly. Have I mentioned that??

Woah! That scared me!

I’m so happy for Belle, getting what she always wanted.

Love when Tilly speaks in riddles and all the Alice in Wonderland references!

It makes me so sad that Rumple feels like he was so intent on getting rid of the dagger that he didn’t feel like he focussed on Gideon as much as he wanted to.

What a freaking sacrifice Belle made. She allowed herself to age really quickly so Rumple could be free of the dagger. But wouldn’t it have been a better idea to wait until she grew old naturally and then they could go to that realm?

Is putting pills in a sandwich even effective? Not to mention she only took a small bite. 

When Tilly says, “You mean her pills”, does she mean they are Victoria Belfrey’s pills because she thinks she cast the curse or does she mean they are ‘Tilly’s’ pills because she doesn’t recognise herself as Tilly but rather Alice at this point? 

Oh my God, Tilly be careful jumping out of a car like that! If her Papa found out.

Really love that scene. I think that’s when I really fell in love with her character. Brb gonna watch it 3 more times!

But does time stop in the Edge of Realms? How did Belle age so fast if that’s the case.

This montage was genius.

Omg that parallel to her falling as she pulls the curtains! Stap it!

I feel like their search for Lucy should be more urgent. No time to chill, guys!

She doesn’t remember who Tilly is. It must be so confusing and frightening being half way between real and false memories.

The Alice in wonderland references! 

Omg I’m tearing up! This episode istg!

Omg you can’t give us all these flashbacks like this! I can’t handle it! 

Gaaaah! My eyes!!

Omg poor Rumple. 

They straight up killed Belle! But honestly it was such an emotional scene and episode in general I’ll excuse them. This rewatch really endeared me to Belle. I miss her already!

Tilly’s remembering!

Oh crap!

Did he instruct her specifically to shoot him before the curse? 

Gideon volunteering to straight up stab his dad lol. 

But Belle just said something about him needing to accept that their love transcends death and then they can be reunited. Maybe that’s what he did before he gave his heart to Wish Hook.

So because he went back in time, the time he went to has two Rumple’s (if you don’t count Wish Rumple). One of them is presumably travelling with Belle and Gideon while this one goes to the NEF.

How did we as a fandom not figure out that Alice was the Guardian earlier? He literally told us the portal would take him to the moment the Guardian was waiting for him and the portal took him to Alice. I wonder if Rumple figured out it was her straight away.

First Knightrook scene! Excuse me while I scream! I remember thinking her being Eloise or his daughter was to easy to figure out but I hoped it’d be her.

They’re playing the wrong sides! Love that detail! He moved the black rook next to the white knight! 

Like father like daughter with Lucy running off all the time.

I wish Henry stayed with them.

I wonder if Ivy really likes Henry or if she just wants to get to Jacinda. She seemed to have no interest in him in the EF. She literally tried to kill him. 

Amazing episode!

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

the wolf should’ve been afraid of me.

Titans 3.04

just under the wire! ... i hope.

like with the previous review, i’m typing this up as i see the episode. here we go!

spoilers ahead.

1. ... well. that was an interesting cold open.

1.25. i don’t know whether to admire this show’s restraint when it comes to gotham and its excesses, particularly arkham asylum. it’d be easy to go hammer and tongs, like suicide squad (2016) did, or any number of bat media did, at a tropey, colourful~~insanity~~ that can be quite damaging, casting mental illness in strangeness and criminality. it definitely shows gotham as... separate from the rest of the country, its own ecosystem of heroes and villains, a sort of rogue state. 

but that ecosystem is still human, with its heroes needing to clip parts of themselves away just to survive, growing old and needing to be recycled, its villains languishing in the same kinds of systems that fail everybody else who needs to be helped. it’s a quieter, tenser sort of wrongness: not strange enough that you can dissociate, but not close enough that you can completely empathise. gotham is its own creature.

1.5. i know that the reasoning behind this is more doylist than anything, but i’m so glad that joker was killed off with little fanfare right at the start of the season. he is the one man in the batverse that’s transcended its confines as this sort of ethereal boogeyman/eternal edgelord and to justify his presence in the series would mean giving him this tired, overblown importance and too much of a stab at colourful, tropey “madness” in this otherwise-subdued series. i wish all batmedia would follow suit and get rid of this fucker.

1.75. so jason is bucking scarecrow’s control! or reminding him of who exactly holds all the cards right now. circling back to what i talked about in the last review, it’s remarkable just how little time it’s been since jason’s “death” and he’s already got ‘minions’ and elaborately set up plans to track, break and kill the titans. just how long has he been planning this? when did he first look at WE weapons prototypes and think that’s something i can use to blow somebody up? and the most unsettling question: did he plan his own death at the hands of the joker just so that he could break batman?

at this point it’s obvious that the scarecrow at least started jason down this path, but it’s frightening just how far he’s travelled already.

1.8. aaagh, less than one minute in! i’ll shut up. 

2. conner washing his hands at the sink reminds me that he was directly in the line of explosion when hank got blown up and he’s probably got atomised hank-bits all over his skin that he’s desperately trying to wash off.

... you’re welcome.

2.25. conner, don’t you speak to gar fucking logan like that, sir, no!

2.3. if anything it’s the lex part of him that gave him the knowhow to recognise the weapon and build a de-activator for it. 

anyway, for that ‘half-breed’ and ‘talking tiger’ comment?

(i wish, tho, that we actually see conner more interested in the superman part of his legacy, like maybe listening to stories from gar, or even better, dick, so we get a better idea of the pressure he’s feeling to live up to that part of him and not the part that’s lex.)

((i talked about conner’s stages of moral development in his introductory episode last season, but i wonder if the next stage of his self-actualisation would be to further integrate the parts of himself and realise that they are only parts and he, conner, is an entirely different person unto himself that can make decisions on how to use what he has and what he knows. his superman abilities can be used to destroy. his lex knowledge can be used to save.))

3. oh dawn :((

3.25. is this the last we see of dawn and hank? i mean, we know donna is coming back; would it be a stretch to think they’ll try to have a go at resurrecting hank as well?

3.5. “deathstroke didn’t make us into killers.” good, because deathstroke didn’t make jason a killer either. there’s a missing step there you need to be looking for, dick. 

3.75. dick did try to break the cycle, step away from gotham, run from the possibility that he could turn into batman. it didn’t help; he couldn’t fully withdraw from his vigilante persona the same time he loathed it, and batman literally haunted him both asleep and awake. but maybe gotham doesn’t have to turn anybody into anything. maybe gotham has nothing to do with it at all. it’s about taking responsibility, realising some sacrifices are pure bullshit, and building an actual family instead of merely a team.

anyway: hugs!

(oh, also? mr “i hate flying”? i mean, there’s perfectly valid reasons to hate flying that’s not related to childhood trauma, but then again, this guy was literally a ‘flying grayson’ once. also also, remember that he also gets sea-sick. must’ve a lot of fun stories to tell.)

4. ooh that gar/kory confrontation was brief but cool!

listen, i have never seen a psychiatrist with that extravagant an office and SIR I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW--

4.5. kory’s so unused to reaching out for help and it’s breaking my heart that HPG likely is some kind of impostor that’s maybe causing her symptoms in the first place. 

kory and dick have mostly been apart this season but it’s remarkable how their journeys have paralleled each other; kory processes her grief, isolation and existential dread into a determination to take care of this new family she has, no matter what it takes; dick does much the same, forging ahead with plans and solutions until he has no fuel left in him and spirals into a massive breakdown.

4.25. listen titans this really is a TERRIBLE continuity error. we aren’t goldfish; we can clearly remember that two minutes ago it was gar’s upper arm that was burned, not his forearm. COME ON.

“sensory deprivation tank” *SNORT*

anyway, gar is the BEST

4.5. i wonder where these visions of experimentation took place. was it on tamaran, or on earth, after she came to hunt down rachel/trigon and before she lost all her memories? is HPG a part of the scientist group that experimented on her? ... god, i hope not. i mean, i think he is, but it would be cool to have some positive therapist representation in media. 

5. you’d think the van transporting a dangerous supervillain that only batman could catch would be more secure but... i’m also not entirely surprised. 

5.15. i love dick gives ZERO shits about hiding himself or even ensuring scarecrow is adequately contained. just turns away after kidnapping him in BROAD DAYLIGHT and says ‘let’s go’. I LOVE THIS DUMBASS

6. lmao gar is having a really really shitty day SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK or just a goddamn story arc of his own

6.5. i’m really confused about the timeline here. so... sometime ago, kory came down to earth to hunt down trigon, yeah? at some further point down the line she and her sister were kidnapped and experimented on. THEN she somehow escapes but... loses her memory? a few months pass and then we see blackfire alive and well and free; she kills faddei, can impersonate other people, and is clearly seeking out kory. but now she’s still in the experiment facility...? what’s going on?

i’m not entirely surprised about the facility being mostly deserted. either the biggest investors in this project gave up on it and it was left to the most fanatic to carry on, or they were deliberately trying to lure kory and get her to free blackfire--expand the environs of the experiment, so to speak.

7. hopefully barbara is going to get something to do other than listen to various men give her Attitude

8. how do you terrorise a terrorist? well:

i love when dick is a scary-competent motherfucker.

8.25. ooooh, the attack on crane at arkham a ploy to get crane to blackgate? nice one dick, i didn’t even think of that. but why though? to protect crane from the titans? to intercept the van to blackgate and “rescue” him? seems likely--red hood was there, except dick got to crane quicker.

9. still reeeallly unclear about the komand’r situation. was komand’r captured after s2? is this all A TRAP?? if so, why are you stepping into the only thing that can contain you, kory????

9.25. so... definite parallels between dick/jason and kory/kom here. i’m just. i’m still. really confused. i’ll shut up now.

10. this may be my favourite dick look yet:

woodsman!dick in a beanie.

10.5. i unironically love how titans has made this bizarrely-devoted-to-his-moniker, toxin-spewing supervillain into a tamer version of hannibal, psychoanalysing his victims into submission. it’s of a piece with how inward looking titans is, the way all of its villains are obsessed with how our protagonists’ minds work, to the point where they would actually spend time inside of them. 

there are no big plots to end the world. no apocalypses or endgames here. these villains collect the titans’ insecurities like infinity stones. the way the titans defeat them is by achieving character growth--literally winning by the power of love. literally “the real superpower is the friends we made along the way”!

10.7. anyway, i’m betting dick is used to this bullshit from crane and is humouring him in the service of getting more information. the story about the wolf? an implicit threat, not to mention dick getting to control what crane knows about him and what methods he would use to manipulate him.

am i giving dick too much credit here? i don’t think so. he’s really impressed me so far this season.

10.75. like. there’s a real unreliable narrator vibe coming off with every person that talks about bruce (much like how the various members of the titans talked about jason’s motivations) and to buy into crane’s talk about bruce being a psychopath is to fall for the same manipulation that jason fell for. dick is the only person who hasn’t really psychoanalysed bruce this season, and i think some part of his detective brain is piecing things together into a bigger picture.

11. i’m glad kory rescued kom but did she have to kill the scientist?

(i mean, yeah, probably - the less people know that kom escaped the less likely they’re going to have the fucking govt on their doorstep, but still.)

11.5. dick’s gonna come back to wayne manor, stare straight at komand’r and go, well which room would you like? because the team might as well adopt ANOTHER person, yeah?

12. oh MAN that red hood/nightwing fight was AMAZING! and he did the thing! the boomerang escrima thing! i’m so delighted!

12.5. the anger and disbelief in dick’s voice when he says you told crane EVERYTHING?! tells me that he knew exactly what he was telling crane himself.

12.75. “everything you are is because of him” - oh that reminds me of halluci!bruce from last season. i hope we see halluci!bruce again--he is so vicious but so entertaining... so much more effective at tearing dick down than crane or jason combined. goes to show that dick’s biggest enemy is own fucking head.

12.8. oh no! dick’s shot! crane is in the wind with red hood! blackfire is now with the titans! i love it!

honestly this season’s pacing is such a big step up from the last couple. gold star, show.

[welcome-tothe-madness]

Yo so like, after watching Book 3, I think I wanna kinda just put my thoughts here on Simon because so far he’s been one of my fav characters because of how well written he is and I just wanna like, idk, ramble

i absolutely adore how Simon and Grace are essentially 2 sides of the same coin, but also fundamentally different, and this is how their paths diverge. i think a large part of why Grace was able to start her redemption is because of how much she loved kids, and making them feel less alone. She thrived off of taking in lonely souls and showing them a “better way.” She genuinely felt bad for Hazel and wanted what was “better” for her. This doesn’t excuse any of her stuff, but her general love and compassion for other kids is really was kickstarted her on her redemption.

Simon did not. Not to say he didn’t care about Apex, but I don’t think he cared for the kids themselves. He cared about GRACE. He cared because she cared. If she had taken his hand and said “let’s leave this all behind” I’m sure he would have followed her. So while Grace is bonding with Hazel and learning to be ok with Tuba, all Simon sees is a distraction and someone holding them back. He also sees Grace not as enthusiastic to get rid of Tuba and keeps putting off killing her.

Now, about Tuba’s death. I see a lot of people marking this as the moment they started to hate him, and they’re not wrong, this was the key point where he became irredeemable. But I want everyone to take a step back and look at what we’ve seen so far. We know his backstory with Samantha, and i think everyone believes that’s the only reason he hates denizens. That could be the MAIN reason, but I don’t think it’s the ONLY reason. Remember why they were running in the first place? Because there was a bug denizen chasing them. We know from Book 1 that these big monsters are actually the creatures that inhabit the train. I think there is a big chance that he witnessed a denizen transform in front of him, and try to attack him. This is also supported when Grace has to explain to hazel why she doesn’t like them, she says “they’re unpredictable.” What’s that supposed to mean? Using context clues, I think they’re aware al the denizens are actually those soul sucking creatures. Yeah, no wonder they don’t feel anything for them when they die. As far as they’re concerned, they could turn and kill them at any minute.

Also, i’d like to bring up Book 2, when we’re first introduced to Simon and Grace. When they’re trying to recruit Jesse, they planned on killing Lake off to “help” him. Look at just how many kids are in Apex. What’s the likelihood that a majority of them befriended a denizen that they later had to sacrifice for initiation? This isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this. They’ve done this a LOT, possibly hundreds of times. Tuba’s death to Simon was just another day of initiation. Does it make it any less wrong? Of course not, he fully had the capacity to bond and redeem himself just as Grace had, and they even got along right before her death. But in Simon’s eyes, he was too far gone, Tuba was a dangerous creature holding them back and he finally found the perfect opportunity to get rid of her like they‘d always done. Grace’s horror is what’s new to him. Her acting shocked, disgusted, scared? She’s never done that before. She’s always planned it, egged it on, encouraged it, PRAISED him for this behavior. And note what he says to her after the job is done!! “Let’s see how high OUR marks have gotten.” He knew Grace was insecure about her number lowering, and did something he usually got praised for, and even thought it’d help her. It wasn’t a selfish betrayal (sort of, I also partially believe he did it to get on Grace’s good side again) but he also did it because he knew how down she’d been.

I also just wanna say Grace should have communicated better with him. I don’t know if things would have turned out better or different, but a lot of his later actions were derived from her dishonesty and her distancing himself from him. She never told Simon what she was thinking. She never told him about her hesitation. She never let him in on anything. Instead? She chose a denizen over him. She decided to change and grow and expected Simon to follow suit. He isn’t a mind reader, how the hell was he supposed to know plans had changed and he was meant to keep Tuba alive? How was he meant to know?

This doesn’t make any of his actions ok. Trusting the cat over Grace and trapping her in her own mind? There’s no ”justifying” that (not that I’m trying to justify) but I think I’ve reached a level of understanding with his character. A lot of what happens is because he’s been left in the dark. Yes, he had the opportunity to change and it is his fault for not taking action, but I think a moment that struck a nerve with me is when Grace said “I’m not responsible for your problems, I don’t owe you anything.” She’s right, she’s not responsible for him not bettering himself.

She’s not responsible for his betrayal. She’s not responsible for his jealousy over Hazel. But you know what she is responsible for? Shoving this ideology down his throat, refusing to communicate, and then acting disgusted and lashing out at him for doing everything she’s ever taught him. She’s the one that taught him a higher number was better. She’s the one that’s always took command/control. She’s praised him for shitty behaviors and when she sees the result of it? It’s not her problem. I completely understood when Simon screamed out “YOU OWE ME EVERYTHING.”

No, she doesn’t owe him everything, but her toxicity towards him is a major factor into why he turned out how he did. Treating people like shit and then saying it’s not your problem when it affected them? (Btw, I’m NOT a grace hater and do not believe she is the source of all his problems, clearly he is his own person and has the capacity to grow as well, but saying she doesn’t owe him anything?? Not even an apology for lying and keeping secrets?? that’s what mainly struck a nerve.)

Also, I wanna bring up another moment that I think solidified hate for him. When Grace saved him, and he tried wheeling her. I can also understand why he did this. Is it right? No, obviously no it’s not ok. But I think the reason he chose to shove her off is because when he asked “why did you save me?” Her response was “I don’t know.” You don’t know? You don’t know why you were compelled to save your number 1 friend for years? Someone who stuck with you through thick and thin, clung to every word you said, and did everything you asked? You don’t know why you saved him? Even after everything? In such an emotional and high tensity moment, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. Again, not something he should have done, but it’s something I can understand. If my scorned ex best friend saved my life and said they didn’t know why, I’d probably feel angry too.

anyways yeah, he’s still a shit person but he’s complex and i think a large reason why his character works so well is because of how well he is written. He did horrible things but there was always a reason, it was never ”mwuahaha, I’m evil now.” And that’s what I love about Infinity Train. Everyone feels so real. Anyways yeah ramble over, if you’ve read this far, feel free to discuss more with me if you feel like I overlooked anything or just wanna spark more conversation!! <33

[lit-in-thy-heart]

If you want to! Mergwaine and tackle hug (romantic or platonic). Idk Gwaine is just the type and it’d be so cute. Maybe after they’ve been reunited??? Or not whatever works 💗

@rainbowvamp thank you for the prompt!! 💕 i took a couple of liberties in that it's a tackle and a hug, i hope that's alright, and i'm sorry about the tone, they just seem to be getting angstier and angstier...

(set a few days after camlann)

as usual, under the cut, and thank you again!!

Whilst the rest of the court marvelled at Gwaine’s miraculously hasty recovery, Gwaine was embracing his newly-discovered invincibility by patrolling the Darkling Woods alone.

He had been clinging to life by a thread, but even in his deadened state he had recognised the hands that had slowly coaxed his body back to consciousness. Instinctively, Gwaine’s own hand jumped to his chest, where he had felt Merlin’s fingers brush against his skin. He wasn’t sure if he’d called out his name, if they’d even spoken, or quite what Merlin had done to him, but Gwaine had been able to sit up after a day and Merlin had been gone.

Healing spells had never been Merlin’s strong suit and Gwaine knew that they were capable of draining every last trace of a skittish pulse if the healer was already weakened. And Merlin would be weakened after watching Arthur die, that Gwaine knew all too well. And Gwaine couldn’t lose Merlin, not after everything that had happened. Particularly not as a result of Merlin reversing Morgana’s damage.

Gwaine pushed through the branches, tucking his hair behind his ear and pausing for a moment by a large oak tree. His fingers fumbled for the knots on the trunk as his legs threatened to crumble beneath him, seeking out the letters carved into the wood. It had been a ridiculous idea, and childish at that, but that hadn’t stopped him from leaving the scar of his initials interlinked with that of Merlin’s in the soft sunset so many years before. Severing himself from the tree as the strength returned to him in gradual waves, Gwaine moved further into the woods, plunging into the translucent darkness left by the shadows of the sun as the leaves above him obscured its path. He and Merlin had grown apart over the last year, and Gwaine had been trying his best to not let it show just how desperately his feet were treading water beneath the surface in the effort to keep their relationship afloat. Merlin had not left his side for a week after Gwaine had returned from Morgana’s clutches with Percival, but he had been paying more and more attention to Arthur and his well being, which Gwaine had attempted to apply logic to. It had made sense that Merlin was focused on Arthur, particularly with the multiple threats lurking in the shadows, and Gwaine himself had sworn loyalty to Arthur. Though that didn’t mean that his service, as it had always been, wasn’t primarily dedicated to Merlin. Everything he did – or had done – for Arthur had been because Merlin had asked him to, or because Gwaine had been able to see the expression lingering in the eyes that he knew so well, the fear that had darkened the delicate irises for the past year.

For a year, Gwaine had mourned the moments where Merlin would unflinchingly tell him about his father, or his magic, or the numerous dangers he’d encountered – though that last one had usually been reserved for when Gwaine had needed a scare to rid himself of hiccups. He had watched Merlin close off more and more of himself and Gwaine hadn’t even realised that Merlin had been dying until he had collapsed on Gwaine’s bed hours after the attempted assassination of Arthur and begrudgingly told him the whole tale. Even then he’d elected to omit the fact that Gwen was wanting Arthur dead, but Gwaine also knew that Merlin had the opinion of himself that his word was worth nothing, despite Gwaine having told him multiple times that he would believe Merlin over Arthur any day of the week. And if Merlin had spent the last of his spirit on Gwaine before they even had the chance to recover the land decimated by drought, Gwaine would never forgive himself.

Through the hesitant birdsong, the snapping of a twig resounded like a crossbow bolt to the skull. Gwaine pressed himself to a tree trunk and, one hand hovering over his sword, ignited sparks that scattered themselves across his fingertips. Through the branches, he caught sight of a hooded figure and a glint of metal and, putting aside all cautions of taking it easy, launched himself at the intruder. Having knocked them to the ground, Gwaine roughly turned them over onto their back between his legs, hand drawn back behind his head as the sparks evolved into ribbons of fire, his eyes burning with the same heat that Merlin’s had flared with so many times.

The same heat that was flickering right in front of him.

In wonder, Merlin reached up with his fingertips to graze the stubble on Gwaine’s chin, the drawn and anxious expression buried amidst it, the bruises stretched out beneath his eyes. When he spoke, he sounded like he was older than time itself. ‘I didn’t think it would work,’ he whispered, the fire in his eyes fading.

Instead of the vibrant blue that Gwaine was used to, the gaze that held his was commanded by the uncertain watery depths of the sky snatched between storm clouds. It was like all the colour had been drained from him and Merlin had been left with the dregs of his former self, and Gwaine’s hands, dropping the flames like he had dropped his guard around the warlock so long ago, jumped to Merlin’s cheeks to check that he was not some trick of his mind.

‘What happened to you?��

‘I gave you all,’ Merlin breathed back, eyes still roaming his form. ‘Because I couldn’t save Arthur, so I had to save you. Morgana was the darkness to my light, and you are my light. I couldn’t let her corrupt you. So I poured everything I had into reversing her damage. I poured everything I had into you.’

‘And nearly killed yourself in the process,’ said Gwaine sharply, fingers darting to the faint heartbeat beneath Merlin’s shirt. He slid from him, trying to conceal his trembling lower lip, and shook out his hair as he held out his arms. ‘Come here, you self-sacrificing fuck.’

Merlin fell into him like an acorn burying itself in the ground, rooting itself to the very earth it would one day become in the hopes of being able to slowly flourish. Savouring the cool touch, Gwaine wrapped his arms around the warlock in the attempt to transfer some of his body heat. Merlin was still breathing, which was always a good sign, and the heart thumping against him was stronger than it had been mere moments before. They hadn’t held each other like this since the morning that Merlin had been released from the cells after being cleared of poisoning Arthur. When Merlin touched him, it was like a butterfly was darting across Gwaine’s skin and seeking out the nectar hidden in his pores, and Gwaine closed his eyes.

‘Do you still have your magic?’

Merlin’s reply was thickened by the threat of tears. ‘I think so. It doesn’t feel as strong as it did, but I know a way to get it back if it is gone. You didn’t tell me that you’d been practising.’

Gwaine’s fingers were making their way along Merlin’s ribs. ‘There wasn’t really a chance to drop it into conversation,’ he softly said. ‘You were preoccupied with—You were preoccupied with other things.’

‘I’m sorry. For isolating myself. I just—I couldn’t afford to get distracted. I couldn’t allow everything that had been built to crumble so soon after.’ Merlin dropped his head into Gwaine’s shoulder. ‘It has anyway, though, and I’ve hurt you in the process. And I should have stayed by your side, when I healed you. But there were other voices and I was selfish and couldn’t handle the prospect of yet another failure, this time with an audience, and—’

‘Merlin, it’s alright. You’ve had so much pressure put on you for so long and, yes, you’ve hurt me, but you’re a selfless bastard who was doing it to protect me. I’d say that I expect you to make it up to me, but you’ve just saved my life, so I think that counteracts some of the distance that was between us. Not that I’ll say no to flowers, if that inclination possesses you,’ Gwaine added as an afterthought.

Pulling away, Merlin abandoned his fingers to Gwaine’s soft hair, gaze darting anywhere but Gwaine’s warm eyes. Then, he met them. ‘You know I love you, don’t you?’

Had Merlin asked that several months ago, Gwaine would have screamed that he show him, but Merlin had been willing to sacrifice himself for Gwaine. And Merlin being prepared to drain himself of his magic, the one thing that he had defined himself by – which was arguably not the best idea, but there would be time to show Merlin how much more he was worth – was more than enough proof that he loved Gwaine. ‘I know now. And I love you too.’

‘I won’t leave you again, I promise you.’

A lifetime of living as a pariah was screaming at Gwaine to not trust Merlin, to push him away to protect himself, but his heart was weeping and Merlin’s stare was so fierce for one who seemed so fragile. ‘I know you won’t.’ Gwaine pressed a kiss to Merlin’s forehead, lips lingering as he closed his eyes. ‘I know you won’t.’

[takaraphoenix]

Sally Jackson choice safety over stability in terms of how she'd take care of her child. Both her and Percy faced years abuse by the hands of one man. Does this make her a good mother who was in over her head or an unprepared one making an impulsive decision?

You found the one hot take even I haven’t dared say aloud yet, because I think it may just be my most unpopular opinion in this fandom. One thing everyone in this fandom seems to agree on is the “universal truth” that Sally Jackson is the best mother in the history of fictional mothers. So, here’s my hot take:

Sally Jackson is not that perfect mother the fandom pretends she is.

Sally during the series? Presented as a loving and good mother. But to get to that point? Pre-series Sally is not written as a good mom; she’s written as a plot-device with the things the author needs to happen in mind and not the motivation of a good mother who prioritizes her child’s happiness and safety in mind.

And I’ll back that claim up with three ways in which Sally has failed Percy as a mother. Not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

But before we get into that, I’d like to switch what you said first. Sally Jackson chose stability over safety. Sally chose the stability of keeping her child at her side over said child’s safety. She made an inherently selfish decision that was not with her child’s best interest and overall safety in mind.

Now, the first - and most obvious one - is Smelly Gabe.

And before I can elaborate on that, I need to clarify one very important thing here, before anyone goes “don’t blame the victim!” on me: Sally Jackson is not a victim; she’s a fictional character. Fictional characters can be written as victims, but they are not autonomous people who make their own choices; their choices are very deliberately made by their author for them. And I want to look at the choices that went into writing her this way, writing her story this way.

Real abuse victims get stuck in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons and they don’t get out of them for equally various reasons. Most of the time, it’s something like “he was so sweet and kind at first, but by the time he showed his real face, it was too late” (and, as a note to that; Percy describes Gabe as having been nice to them for a total of thirty seconds before showing his real face. Now while that is, of course, and exaggeration, it still goes to say that Gabe was pretty much upfront about what kind of person he was).

I’ve never heard one start with “he was the most disgusting, grossest man I could possibly find”. Sally Jackson chose this man. Not just in the way one picks a partner. She went out there and chose the stinkiest, grossest man.

It was a deliberate choice on Riordan’s part to have Sally choose an abusive relationship over sending her son away for his own safety. And this decision did not keep Percy safe; Percy Jackson was abused in his own home, by a horribly stinking man, for six years of his life. That’s not keeping your child safe.

The choice was not made to keep Percy safe; the choice was made to keep Percy with Sally. It was inherently selfishly motivated; she didn’t want to send him away, she wanted to keep him with her.

Sally loves Percy, she loves him dearly and fiercely, I’m not arguing that. But that love led to her not wanting to let go of him. And sometimes, parenting means making tough choices, sometimes loving someone means you have to make a tough decision.

In this case, the “tough decision” is presented as Sally bravely putting up with six years of abuse at Gabe’s hand. That’s the narrative chosen by the author.

But the actual “tough decision” would have been to send Percy to Camp Half-Blood, where he would have been safe. That’s the tough choice a mother would have had to make to keep her child safe.

That’s the tough choice the parents of most of the year-rounders have made. Mister Beauregard sent his daughter all the way from Paris to New York to give her this safety. The distance alone guaranteeing he wouldn’t see her for years potentially - because flying between New York and Paris is not necessarily easily affordable for everyone. Sally’s option was to send Percy to a camp that’s literally one and a half hours away. She could have still seen him, he could have easily visited her.

But her solution was to mask Percy’s scent by marrying a stinking, gross, abusive man.

Let me just stretch once more: Sally’s choice did not keep Percy safe. Sally’s choice made their home unsafe. It brought the danger and pain into their home. It may have moderately protected Percy from monsters - until The Lightning Thief kicked in - but it did not keep Percy actually safe, because it put him into a different kind of danger and through a different kind of pain.

For six years. And, this is where the “not a real person but a fictional character” thing comes up again, because this isn’t a woman where one choice leads to a date with a man which leads to a relationship which leads to abuse that she doesn’t know how to get out of anymore. She is a fictional character whose journey was set out to end with her being in an abusive relationship.

And we also don’t know why she didn’t get out of it. She’s not a real person, we don’t know if she was so scared of Gabe that she didn’t know how to leave, if her lack of a support system is what led to her not leaving him, or if it was the motivation of not giving up Percy. The real, actual reason is that Riordan wanted to keep her in there and keep Percy out of the loop until he was twelve and The Lightning Thief could happen. Because she was able of getting rid of him as soon as the truth unravelled and Percy met camp.

And I’d like to use the way she did that to drive back home just how bad Gabe was, just how bad the situation Sally and Percy were in for six years, really was.

She murders him. She flat-out murders him. Both, her and Percy, together. This twelve-year old child who we meet and get to know as kind and not... not a murder-child, is ready to kill a man. That’s how badly Gabe abused them; both of these kind people chose murder to get rid of him.

And it’s just something I’ve never gotten over. Riordan really made the decision that his protagonist’s mom would rather get them both into an abusive home than give Percy up to camp. That was his decision; there could have been other ways. One thing that would have made this seem less like a deliberate choice would have, for example, been Sally not knowing about camp.

If she was a desperate mother, who saw no other options? That’d have made the situation different too. But we know Sally knew about camp. She knew there was a place she could send her son where he would be safe from the monsters, but she decided against that, she decided that she wanted to keep him close, at any costs - and the cost was six years of abuse.

I do not think that this decision should be framed as a heroic sacrifice, because the fact that she knew of an actually safe solution and decided against it was inherently selfish. She did not put up with six years of abuse for selfless reasons because there was “no other way”; there was, she knew that, but the author didn’t want her to take that.

Sometimes, the sacrifice is letting go of your child. And, as mentioned before, she wouldn’t have let go of him for good - camp is in the same bloody city as she is living. Literally one and a half hours away from her.

Now on to the other two ways in which I think Sally Jackson failed Percy.

For one, the lies about his father. Now, real people who are left by their partner with a baby, they can pick whatever to tell their kids whenever. But, again, this is a fictional character and the author makes the decision for her. And this, again, was a decision made solely based on the end result; Riordan needed Percy to not be in the know by the time The Lightning Thief came around, even though from a character-perspective, telling Percy the truth earlier would have been the logical and right decision.

If your kid is a demigod who is attracting real actual monsters with his scent alone? Percy started really attracting monsters when he was six years old and for the next six years, Sally didn’t disclose the truth to him; not about monsters, not about his father, not about the fact that Percy may have powers.

Percy attracted so many monsters that it led to Sally getting married to Gabe. That’s how badly he attracted monsters. Which also implies that Percy must have seen monsters. We get to see in The Lightning Thief just how much Percy thinks he’s going crazy with the things he sees. And that’s  been going on for six years too - six years and in those, his scent only got stronger.

This, again, isn’t just one decision she made. This is a decision she made every single day over and over again. The decision not to tell Percy about his father, the powers, the simple reassurance that he’s not going insane, that monsters are real. This was Percy’s reality and it would obviously only become more and more of an issue the older Percy got, but every single day, she chose not to tell him, to let him believe not just a lie but also steadily that he was going crazy.

And it’d have gone a long way if he had just known. Even with Gabe in their life, even if she hadn’t made the choice to send him to camp at age six, it’d have helped him so much to know the truth and be prepared for this life.

Because this wasn’t just an issue of “the guy left me, I don’t want to talk about it with my kid”, this was inherently about, once more, Percy’s safety. Knowing what to watch out for, knowing the thing you should watch out for is actually real, are huge factors in Percy’s safety. Having him as well-prepared as possible.

She knew his father was Poseidon. It’s not even that she had sex with some dude, not knowing who he was. She knew he was Poseidon. She knew what Percy’s parentage was, she must have observed the slow development of Percy’s powers over the years.

But again, she chose to leave him in the dark about it. He could have been well-prepared by age twelve. Read up everything on Poseidon, experimented with potential powers he may have, understanding why the fishes in the aquarium are talking to him and that he is not actually hearing voices, learning.

But that’s not useful for the author; Riordan wants an unprepared Percy who can be used to introduce this world to the reader.

The choice to not tell Percy the truth about his father and about being a demigod was made deliberately and, again, not in Percy’s best interest. And in this case, there really is no other interpretation left aside from “the author needs it to happen this way” - with Gabe, there is the legitimate argument that she may have been at one point just an abused woman stuck in a relationship with no out because we don’t know enough to know what her motivation and situation were exactly - but there is... no benefit at all in lying to Percy about this, no reason for it.

The moment he first started being in actual life-threatening danger because monsters came after him, it became a pressing matter to tell him what monsters are, that they are real and why they are after him and to prepare him for it.

Which brings me to the third instance.

She never prepared him - even just in a mortal manner. Even if we let the first two - the marriage to Gabe and the lies about his father - stand as they are, Sally could have done something very simple to prepare Percy for his life and to help keeping him safe.

Self-defense classes. Judo. Martial arts. Sword-fighting classes. Whatever.

Many parents teach their kids these kind of things from a young age. Parents whose kids aren’t in constant danger of being attacked by monsters. One of your first parental instincts should be to teach your kid to be safe; to protect themselves. Give him the means to fight back.

So, that’s it. That’s the three very vital and important instances in which I think Sally failed Percy as a mother; not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

Instead of sending him to a safe place where he could learn about his heritage and learn control of his powers as well as learning how to fight the monsters after his life, she chose to marry an abusive, smelly man whose scent would mask Percy’s. Probably. Hopefully. But it didn’t really, not all the time. As shown by The Lightning Thief and monsters coming after Percy. And Percy starts to think he’s crazy, because at no point did she tell him about the monsters, and at no point does he really know how to fight for his life, because at no point did she put the means to defend himself into his hands.

No. No, I do not think that those are the decisions a good mother would make. Those are decisions the author made because he knew the starting point of his story and he knew where Percy’s character needed to be for that.

The thing that’s glossed over are the choices Riordan implicitly made Sally make. To get to this point for Percy, at age 12, he had to make Sally repeatedly act against Percy’s best interests and deliberately not tell Percy the truth or teach him way to stay safe. So he masks those choices by putting on a framework that’s meant to make you only look at her suffering and the outcome, not the choices that led to it. That was Riordan’s choice and he framed it in a way that the fandom ate up and celebrates, when... neither Sally, nor Riordan, had do to that. There was another option on the table and, if Riordan had sat down and thought hard, I’m pretty sure there would have been more options.

The bottom line, what Sally’s parenting comes down to in the end, is that she and Percy got stuck with an abusive man for six years, because she didn’t want to send him to an actual safe place, she spent six years essentially gaslighting Percy about the things he hears/sees by not telling him the monsters are actually real and she repeatedly left him in unnecessary danger by not giving him the means to defend himself in any way whatsoever. And those are not signs of good parenting, not in my book.

But it’s just so much easier to ignore all of that and pretend that blue candy and trips to Montauk are the end all be all and that Sally’s fierce love for her son is the most defining trait of parenting. I know that. Most of the time, I’m right there with you - I love fanon!Sally, I love to pretend she’s the best mom ever and never did anything wrong, because I know the decisions are inherently made by Riordan and are a by-product; I know he wants her to be a good mother, I know throughout the series, he writes her as a good and loving mother.

But if I have to be honest and if I look at the whole text, including the implications of their past, canon!Sally isn’t that good of a mother.

[hysterialevi]

Hjarta | Chapter 13

Fanfic summary: In an AU where Eivor was adopted by Randvi’s family instead, he ends up falling in love with the man his sister has been promised to despite the arranged marriage between their clans.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male Eivor

Author’s note: Agh, sorry about the longer wait for this part guys! I hit a bit of a writer’s block blegh

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter | Next chapter

THE NEXT DAWN

BJORNHEIMR, THE DOCKS

Eivor dipped his hands into the bowl and stained his fingers with fresh blood, brushing the liquid onto his face. The red pigment of the medium stood out from his skin like stars in a night sky, and enhanced the barbarity that prowled behind his wild gaze.

Today was the day their clans would finally lead an assault on Kjotve’s fortress. Word had been sent to Fornburg about the upcoming attack, and the entirety of Bjornheimr’s villagers were bustling with preparations for the demanding journey ahead.

Everything had been set in place. Their plan, their warriors, their ships -- they were all ready to face the chaos that would clash into them head-on. The oceans were calm with the mercy of Njord’s blessing, and the seeress had done all she could to plant Tyr’s courage in the hearts of their men.

Now, the rest depended on the warriors themselves. They would have to charge the settlement with enough haste in order to save Thora before she embarked for Hel’s gates, and -- hopefully -- put Kjotve down in the process. Killing both him and Gorm was a task that even Eivor wasn’t certain they’d be able to pull off, but it was a goal worth striving for nonetheless. He just prayed that the gods favored them today.

Eivor looked up at the clouds sailing above them, and peered into their wispy structures as they glided through the air. The majority of the sky was still trapped in a deep slumber, and only a small portion of it had been greeted by the morning sun. Traces of the aurora could be seen lingering in the remaining darkness, and if he stared hard enough, the man could’ve sworn he saw the faces of fallen Einherjar looking back at him.

Eivor couldn’t fail today. He wouldn’t allow it. Thora’s life was depending on their victory, and their clans had already put in a tremendous amount of effort in keeping their people afloat. If anything went wrong this time... well, that wasn’t something he wished to dwell on at the moment.

He was already in enough distress due to everything going on between him and Sigurd, and he didn’t know if he could’ve handled the weight of another tragedy.

“Steel yourselves, men!” Ulfar’s voice boomed in the distance, grabbing the Wolf-Kissed’s attention. He was currently overseeing the preparations at the docks, and ensuring that their ships were ready to set sail. “The jarl’s daughter is depending on our victory. Do not waver, and do not scurry no matter what happens today. Hesitation will be our greatest hinderance.”

The old raider continued marching up and down the piers, keeping an eye on Bjornheimr’s warriors as they loaded their supplies onto the ships.

Meanwhile, Eivor carried on with his own business and secured a circular shield onto his back before sliding his axe into its holster, eager to shed blood. He had been thinking about the upcoming battle nonstop ever since Arngeir informed him of the plan, and found himself growing more and more restless by the minute. His head was racing with a million thoughts of how today’s war could’ve ended, and his heart was hammering against his chest like the thundering of a horse’s hooves.

Thankfully, there was a familiar face to calm him down.

“Eivor!”

Stopping what he was doing, Eivor came to a halt and glanced to his side, only to see Sigurd strolling towards him. The prince was clad in a sturdy suit of armor that consisted of leather and fur, and had the hilt of an impressive great-sword standing out from behind his shoulder. His face had been marked with a vibrant layer of blue war paint, and his hair radiated brazenly in the sun.

“Sigurd,” the young man replied, beaming at him. “You look ready for war. I’ll be honest -- I wasn’t sure if you’d join us in the upcoming battle.”

“Ulfar may have opposed the idea of me being a scout,” Sigurd said, “but I’ll not cower in the shadows and let our warriors sacrifice themselves for me. A king must be able to fight for himself, after all. If I can’t lead our men on the battlefield, then what good will I be on the throne?”

“A noble mindset to have,” Eivor commended, “but a risky one.”

“Indeed,” the prince conceded. “I’m... fully aware that there’s a chance I might not return from this assault. But I’m prepared for anything that awaits. So long as it guarantees Kjotve’s defeat.”

His lover’s face flattened with worry. “...Don’t talk like that. You’re a skilled warrior, Sigurd. I’m confident we’ll both see this through.”

“So am I. But fate is often unpredictable.”

Sigurd decided not to dwell on the grim matter anymore and switched over to another thought, bringing up a rather interesting proposal.

“Hey, Eivor. Listen. I’ve been thinking...” he stepped closer to the other man, “...if everything goes according to plan today -- we save your sister, we kill Kjotve, we rid Rygjafylke of his clan -- then me and my people will return to Fornburg. Permanently. Randvi will come with us too obviously, but I don’t know if we’ll ever return to Bjornheimr again. Apart from the occasional visit.”

Eivor had a feeling he already knew where this was going. “And?”

“And...” Sigurd continued, “I wanted to extend an invitation to you as well.”

He paused for a second, pointing a finger at himself. “Me?”

“Why not? I’ve seen you fight. You’re a man of many talents, Eivor. We could use someone like you. And besides...” a loving warmth coated the edges of his gaze, “...it’d be nice to have you around. We could go on raids together, I could show you around Fornburg, we could spend our nights drinking in the tavern... it would be wonderful. Don’t you think?”

Eivor was tempted to accept the enticing offer, but found himself hesitating nonetheless. The idea of being able to spend time with Sigurd whenever he wished was a dream like no other, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that the man was married now. Would it even be possible for them to preserve a relationship such as that?

“...I don’t know, Sigurd.” He replied sincerely. “I want to go with you, but... it’s already hard enough dealing with the fact that you’re married to someone else. I don’t know if I could handle seeing you with Randvi every single day.”

The older man’s tone dimmed slightly. “Of course. That’s understandable. I... I can’t imagine the conflict you must be going through right now.” He raised a curious brow. “Will you at least consider the offer?”

Eivor gave him a faint smile. “I’ll think about it. For you.”

Sigurd returned the friendly expression with a lighthearted chuckle. “Then let us pray that I live long enough to hear the answer.” He patted a firm hand on Eivor’s back and began guiding him towards the ships, ready to get started with the day. “Come. You and I will be sailing with Ulfar. Has he informed you of the plan?”

“Only some of it. How is this going to work, exactly? Won’t the longships just get Kjotve’s attention?”

“We won’t be taking them all the way to the shoreline.” Sigurd explained. “The ships will bring us close to Kjotve’s fortress, but we’ll use rowboats for the rest of the journey. That way, we avoid alerting his men. Once our feet are on solid land,” he gestured to the cloak on his shoulders, “our hoods come up. Don’t let anyone see your face until Dag and his scouts give us the signal to attack.”

Eivor felt a sense of unease at the mention of his name. “So Dag will still be among the scouts? Even with all your suspicions?”

Sigurd sighed in annoyance. “I expressed my concerns to my father last night, but he didn’t seem to share any of them. He believes that Dag is loyal, and trusts him to get the job done. I suppose I can’t blame him. Dag has been closely tied to my family for decades now. My father trusts him like a son. Still... the sudden shift in his behavior gives me pause. I’m not sure I like the idea of sending him so close to Kjotve.”

“What about Ulfar? Has your mind been swayed about him?”

“Like I said before -- apart from Ingrida’s vision, I have no other reason to doubt his intentions. He has yet to do anything that would arouse suspicion, but somehow, that almost makes me more nervous. After all, the ones you trust the most have the biggest chance of stabbing you in the back. I just hope my instincts are wrong.”

“As do I. I’ve known Ulfar ever since I was a boy. He was always there to fill the absence that constantly followed me after my parents’ deaths. If he turns out to be the snake...” Eivor let out a breath, “...I don’t know how I’ll react.”

Sigurd rubbed his shoulder in a reassuring manner. “I’m sure it won’t come to that. Ulfar strikes me as a man of honor, and he has no reason to betray you. You’re like a son to him. The last thing he’d want to do is endanger you.”

“Well, that’s true, I suppose. But it’s like you said -- fate is often unpredictable.”

Approaching the longship, the two of them ventured down the pier as Ulfar waited at the other end, helping his raiders prepare for the arduous journey. A few other warriors had already filled some of the seats and taken hold of the oars, including Dag himself.

Eivor had to admit -- he was surprised Sigurd was willing to sail with Dag, considering the wall that had been erected between them recently. Even though he knew that the pair of them were childhood friends, he still got the impression that the prince wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Their relationship seemed to have vanished over these past couple weeks, and Dag wasn’t exactly jumping with joy at the sight of the redheaded vikingr either.

Though, now that he thought about it, Eivor supposed it’d be easier keeping an eye on him this way. It might’ve put them at greater risk being so close to a possible traitor, but at least they’d be able to watch his every move. His only worry was that Sigurd’s suspicions would be proven right -- and that they would realize it when it was too late.

“Ulfar!” The prince called out, greeting the grizzled raider.

“Ah,” Ulfar replied, “Sigurd. Eivor. There you are. Are you both ready to set sail?”

“I believe so.”

“Good. The sooner we leave for Kjotve’s fortress, the better. As you’re aware, Dag is one of the scouts we’ll be sending in, so I want to get him there as quickly as possible.”

Ulfar shifted his gaze to Eivor.

“And what about you, little cub? How are you holding up? Are you certain you’re ready for this fight?”

Eivor nodded. “Yes. Kjotve may have slipped from my grasp before, but I won’t let it happen again. I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to save Thora.”

“Then bring honor to your family, Wolf-Kissed. Just make sure that your desire for vengeance does not overcome your sense of reason. I need you to be sharp today.”

“I will, Ulfar.”

The older man gestured towards the ship. “Then let us make haste. The day isn’t getting any younger, and I dread to think about what Kjotve will do to Thora if we don’t arrive on time. Find a seat, grab an oar, and prepare yourselves for the storm ahead. May Tyr’s courage guide your hand.”

~~~~~~~~~~

LATER THAT DAY

SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE KJOTVE’S FORTRESS

A wooden groan emitted from the ship’s weathered body as it penetrated the ocean’s waves, gliding gently along with the wind that fluttered behind its sail.

At the moment, Ulfar and his men were completely surrounded by mist, and groping blindly through a barrier of fog. For as far as the eye could see, structures and figures alike had all been obscured into one massive haze, and the only things they could detect were the nearby silhouettes of rock formations poking out from underneath the water’s surface.

The sea was calm with a disturbing layer of stillness. The mellow breeze brushed over its glassy hills like the whispers of a chanting god, and it felt like there were eyes peering at them from behind the murky veil.

It was a dangerous path to trek, that much was clear. Many obstacles stood in the way of their journey to Kjotve’s shores, and the withering daylight did little to help in terms of guiding their way.

As for Eivor, the man was currently sitting in front of Sigurd and meticulously rowing his oar, making sure not to scrape the end against any of the icebergs dotting the landscape. His arms were sore from heaving its weight for hours on end, and he could feel his muscles straining with every move.

But he wasn’t ready to give in just yet. Despite the ache spreading throughout his body, Eivor’s spirit remained fervent with an unwavering thirst for battle. He was eager to set foot on solid land, and quite frankly, part of him felt like a rabid dog being held back on a leash, just waiting for the moment he’d finally be allowed to dig his claws into the enemy.

His biggest concern right now, was that Dag would take that chance away from him.

“Alright, listen up, drengir,” Ulfar said, keeping his words at a low volume, “it won’t be long until we’re at the edges of Kjotve’s settlement. It doesn’t look like his men have noticed us yet, but any unwanted attention will surely bring our demise. So keep your mouths shut, unless you wish to let out your dying breath.”

He gestured in the distance. “Not too far away from here, one of our men will be waiting with a smaller boat. We’ll stop the ship just before it wanders into Kjotve’s line of sight, and then row you all to shore. Three at a time. Dag will be one of the first to leave. Who else will go with him?”

Almost instantly, Sigurd spoke up. “I’ll go.”

Dag shot him a glance, clearly suspicious as to why he was so willing to offer his company. But he said nothing of it.

“I’ll go too.” Eivor said.

Ulfar seemed pleased with that. “Very well. The three of you will sail to shore once we reach the other boat. In the meantime, we’ll stay behind, and ensure nothing comes your way. As for you, keep a low profile until we’re all together. Be as discreet as possible. Do not remove your hood. Understand?”

The three of them nodded in unison. “Yes.”

“Then keep your lips tight and your eyes open. We’re almost there.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A WHILE LATER

KJOTVE’S FORTRESS

Sitting quietly in the boat, Eivor watched as the water around them rippled with the oarsman’s movement and bounced off the vessel’s rim, disturbing the silence with a soft trickle.

He could see the faded outlines of Kjotve’s settlement steadily coming into view like a beast emerging from the shadows, and already, many voices began to ring in the distance.

For their enemy, it was a day like any other. People carried on with their lives the same as usual, and not a single hint of dread polluted the tranquil atmosphere. Business thrived in the settlement as villagers ventured to and fro, and not too far away from them, Eivor could see the piers of the harbor standing calmly above the sea.

It was a sight that would’ve reminded the young man of his own home, had he not known of the cruelty lurking within. A plethora of civilians populated the bustling community, and a part of Eivor almost felt guilty due to the fact that he knew some of their lives would be lost in the crossfire today. He didn’t wish any harm upon the innocent villagers who dwelled under Kjotve’s rule, but at the same time, he had no intentions of losing his sister either.

He was going to get Thora back. He didn’t care what it took to find her.

“Alright,” the oarsmen announced as the boat slid onto shore, “we’re here. Now hurry up and get to work, you three. I need to bring the rest of your ship here as soon as possible.”

Sigurd was the first to hop off. His boots planted themselves into the ground with a light splash, and tiny bits of gravel could be heard cracking under his feet.

“Go on,” the prince told the oarsmen, pulling his hood over his face. “Return to Ulfar. We’ll take it from here.”

Dag stepped off the boat. “In the meantime, I’ll start looking for a way inside the fortress.”

“What, now?” Sigurd asked. “Shouldn’t you wait for the other scouts to arrive? Most of our men are still at sea.”

“I’d rather get a head start, in case things get messy. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. Just wait for my signal.”

Eivor held up a hand. “Wait, what is the signal, exactly?”

Dag pointed to a brazier standing on one of the fortress’ towers. “See that beacon up there? My scouts will light it once we’ve finished paving the way for you.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” He questioned. “Wouldn’t that just alert Kjotve’s men of our presence?”

“Yes, but by the time they realize what’s happening, we’ll already be kicking down their door. Half of them will be dead before they’re able to put up any sort of fight.”

Eivor was still apprehensive about the idea, but figured there wasn’t enough time to argue. “...Very well. If you’re certain.”

A hint of hostility sharpened Dag’s tone. “I am. Now, you two just wait here for Ulfar and his men. I’ll find a way to open the gate. Pay attention to the beacon. I won’t take long.”

Scurrying off into the dense crowds, Dag vanished without saying another word and slipped behind the cover of Kjotve’s civilians, hastily navigating his way towards the looming fortress. Meanwhile, Sigurd and Eivor remained hidden among a thick gathering of bushes and avoided stepping into the light, suddenly feeling incredibly out of place.

This was hostile territory. The people around them might’ve been fellow Norsemen, but even then, Eivor felt like he didn’t belong. The overall nature of this region was completely foreign to him, and he couldn’t quite shake off the feeling that someone was watching them.

“...So, what do you think?” Eivor whispered, earning a puzzled look from Sigurd.

“Think about what?”

The younger man tilted his head towards Dag. “About him. He was rather eager to take off without us, don’t you think? I realize we’re in the midst of an urgent matter, but still. His haste is... somewhat peculiar.”

Sigurd followed his line of sight. “Indeed. I offered to sail with Dag because I thought it’d be easier to keep an eye on him, but I think all I’ve done is make the man more cautious. I haven’t exactly been subtle with my scrutiny.”

Eivor shrugged, unable to push away the sense of doubt swelling in his chest. “...What if he’s not actually the rat?”

The prince cocked a brow. “You don’t think it’s him?”

“I don’t know. It’s possible. If I were the rat, I’d let Kjotve know about the horde of warriors coming over the horizon. I wouldn’t even give them a chance to set foot on our land. And considering how we haven’t been cut down yet, a part of me is wondering if Dag truly is the traitor.”

Sigurd wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Hmm. I suppose. Or maybe Kjotve is just biding his time -- waiting for the right moment to strike.” He let out a sigh. “...There’s just one thing I don’t understand.”

“What is it?”

“Well, if Dag is the rat, then... why would he do all this? What reason would he have to betray us?”

Eivor thought for a moment. “Maybe he doesn’t agree with this alliance. Maybe he sees my clan as weak.”

The older man had a different idea. “Possibly, but it still doesn’t make any sense. He never expressed any opposition to the alliance before, and he seemed to approve of it when we first came to Bjornheimr. His recent behavior feels more... personal.”

“You think it’s aimed at you?”

Sigurd hesitated for a second. “Actually, Eivor, if I’m being honest... I think it’s aimed at you.”

That caught the Wolf-Kissed’s attention. “What? Why would Dag be angry with me?”

The prince was at a loss. “Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that every time I mention your name, he gets this sour look on his face. Like I’ve just spit on his mother’s grave. He always becomes more reclusive whenever I talk about you, and even just a few minutes ago, he was rather antagonistic.” His eyes lit up with a sudden thought. “Dag hasn’t given you any trouble these past couple weeks, has he?”

Eivor shook his head. “No. Dag and I haven’t said a word to each other ever since your clan arrived. The only times I’ve spoken to him is when you’ve been around.” He trailed off into a brief silence. “...Do you... do you think it’s possible that Dag believes he’s being replaced? I mean, he’s a childhood friend of yours, isn’t he? Maybe he’s threatened by me.”

A look of bewilderment slapped Sigurd across the face. “Well, yes, but... I highly doubt that’s the case. He doesn’t know about our relationship. And besides, even if he did feel that way, surely that wouldn’t be enough to motivate treason. There must be more going on here than meets the eye.”

“I hope you’re right. It’d be a shame if that were the reality. All these lives lost, and for what? The fear of being left behind?”

Sigurd took on a more serious tone. “If my suspicions turn out to be correct about Dag, I will personally send that man to the gates of Helheim myself. The truth will be revealed sooner or later.”

Eivor’s eyes darted towards the sky upon the sudden appearance of a newborn flame, causing him to nudge the prince in the arm.

“Look,” he said, pointing towards the fire. “Dag’s lit the beacon. The gates are open. We should get moving.”

“Wait...!” The prince urged, placing a restrictive hand on Eivor’s chest. The other man gawked at him in confusion.

“What? What is it?”

Sigurd thought the answer was rather clear. “You don’t find it strange that he managed to open the gates so quickly? We’ve only just arrived. The rest of our men haven’t even joined us yet. How did Dag reach it so easily?”

The Wolf-Kissed shared his lover’s skepticism, but wasn’t willing to wait.

“Well, however he did it, we don’t have much of a choice anymore,” he reiterated. “We have to attack now. Everyone in this settlement will be able to see that beacon. Kjotve’s men will know something’s wrong. We need to go before they’re able to prepare for the assault. Otherwise, Thora will be killed.”

The older man sighed in anger. “Shit...! What on Earth is that man thinking? He disappears before the rest of our clan even arrives, and now he’s forcing us to launch the assault when he knows we’re still alone?” Sigurd stepped out from hiding, and took hold of his sword. “Dag and I are going to exchange a few words once this is over. For now though, just keep your guard up. Gods know how Kjotve is going to react to this.”

Sigurd stepped out from their hiding spot and approached the center of the village, glancing at Eivor over his shoulder.

“Follow me,” he instructed, “and don’t lower your hood. Even though I doubt we’ll be able to evade Kjotve’s warriors for much longer, I’d rather not be caught in the middle of this mess when half our clan is still at sea. If we’re lucky, we’ll find more of our people along the way. Now hurry up. Thora hasn’t got much time.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A FEW MINUTES LATER

INSIDE KJOTVE’S FORTRESS

Rushing through the panicked crowds like snakes slithering through a bundle of weeds, Sigurd and Eivor hurried towards the fortress as disoriented civilians clamored all around them, trying to figure out what was going on.

The soul-shattering call of a war horn had sounded ever since Dag ignited the beacon, and now, clumps of scattered warriors were forcing their way through the cramped settlement, attempting to reach the enemy before they could launch a defense.

Fortunately, it looked like Eivor and Sigurd weren’t the only ones on Kjotve’s shores. A handful of familiar faces had also been delivered by the other boats including Randvi herself, and more of them were arriving by the minute. 

As for Ulfar, the man was nowhere to be seen yet. Eivor figured he had originally been planning to sail with the last boat, but now, the Wolf-Kissed assumed he’d just bring the entire longship to land. The horn’s cries were practically loud enough to touch the edges of Rygjafylke’s borders, and he had no doubts that the old man would’ve heard it. He just prayed to the gods that his raiders arrived in time.

“In here!” Sigurd exclaimed, pressing his body against the gates. Eivor planted his palms into the surface and helped the prince push them open, creating a crack big enough for them to slip through.

Contrary to what they were expecting however, there were hardly any guards on the inside. Barely any of Kjotve’s men were patrolling the fortress’ perimeter, and the place seemed to be devoid of any life. At first, Eivor simply assumed that Dag had already killed most of them during his infiltration, but the realistic side of him knew better.

“Where is everyone?” He wondered aloud, stepping into the deserted keep. “The place looks abandoned.”

Sigurd wasn’t willing to let his guard down. “Don’t let it fool you. I’m certain Kjotve knows we’re coming now thanks to Dag. We’re likely running straight into a trap.”

“I know,” Eivor conceded, “but we have to keep moving. Even if it may be a trap, Thora needs us to find her now. We can’t waste any time.”

The older man flicked his eyes around. “Where do you think she would be?”

“Kjotve must be keeping her prisoner, so I imagine she’ll be in the dungeons.”

“Then we’ll have to make our way down. Come on. This way. I think I see some stairs.”

Ripping the shield off his back, Eivor took his axe in hand and followed Sigurd into one of the fortress’ many doorways, causing the distant sounds of battle to become muffled as they ventured behind the stone walls. The temperature in the air instantly sank upon their abrupt entry, and the lack of any sunlight made it feel as if they were roaming into an abyss.

It was eerily quiet in this section of the keep. They couldn’t hear anyone’s voices echoing off the walls, nor the clashing of any swords. The wind remained still despite the tempest that was building up outside, and a heavy stench sat just underneath Eivor’s nose.

It admittedly disturbed the young man, how familiar the stench was. He found no shortage of it in Bjornheimr after their first encounter with Kjotve’s clan, and now, the sickeningly sweet smell had returned.

The revolting aroma seeped into the thin crevices embedded in the wall, and it only seemed to intensify with every step they took. By now, the sound of something creaking had reached Eivor’s ears as well, and he could feel the pace of his heart increasing rapidly with each passing second.

“Do you smell that...?” The young man whispered, his voice laden with dread.

Sigurd gave him a grim look. “Yes. It... it smells like...” he let out a brief cough, “...oh, gods.”

Holding his shield out in front of him, Eivor braced himself for an ambush as they approached the bottom of the stairs, getting closer to what he assumed were the dungeons. The mysterious stench had completely filled his nostrils at this point, and a part of him even swore he could almost taste it. 

At the other end of the staircase, Eivor barely made out the faint shadow of a lone figure swaying on the floor. No enemies had leapt out at them just yet, but even then, the young man felt the urgent desire to run from this place as soon as possible.

A pang of ice-cold fear had burrowed itself into the very flesh sitting on his bones, and for the first time in years, he found himself battling the temptation to drop his weapons and flee.

When he finally found the source of the smell though, his entire body froze in horror.

Dangling above him, Eivor saw the fresh corpse of a prisoner swinging lifelessly in the wind, hanging from the ceiling as if it were a chandelier. Its skin was grey due to the frost that had settled into its flesh, and its blank eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

There wasn’t anyone accompanying the body -- dead or alive -- but regardless, Eivor could still sense the spirit lingering in the vicinity, waiting for someone to discover its abandoned shell. Its unseen presence loomed over them like a wolf prowling in the woods, and within seconds, all the color had drained from the young man’s face.

He collapsed to his knees and stared hopelessly into the corpse’s eyes, doing everything he could to suppress the scream that was now building up in his throat.

“...Th-Thora?”

[darkpoisonouslove]

A Blur of the Tongue

Summary: An argument over their summer retreat makes Griffin and Valtor rely on another approach of reconciling with the other’s words. When all is said and done, they’re weak in the knees for each other and that is their strength. Part 12 of Sparks of Life.

CW: Oral sex, gagging, power play, power imbalance (but not really)

@trashcankitty12 If you still remember, you requested number 46 (from my 200 followers celebration) - an argument leading to kissing/sex. This is it but with a little twist because it’s me. With some very light angst because, again, it’s me.

Valtor scrolled up and down on the five-star resort’s online page aimlessly–she’d already memorized the list of provided amenities–in the stiff silence of their stalemate. Contrarily to logic, things had gone much smoother the previous year when they’d foregone the planning stage of their vacation and relied on spontaneity. An impulsive phone call from his bed had cleared up his next week for a drive to the seaside away from the hustle of New York where they’d both fallen in love with a cozy villa on the beach had left them with a collection of lovely memories they wanted to add to. Now that their relationship was more official, however, so was the power struggle to enforce their vision on the other.

Griffin rubbed her temple to rid herself of the strain the rapidly moving screen was subjecting her eyes to. “You can do without the commodities of a mini bar and a PlayStation for a week.” They’d both wasted hours on the Internet to come up with two different versions of perfection that they couldn’t reconcile into one. The bliss of the humble–in comparison to Valtor’s current choice–villa was drifting farther away like a hallucination releasing its grip on her brain.

“You brought a book with you last year. And I’m betting you’ve already picked the one you’re gonna take this time.” Valtor left alone the slide on his laptop to redirect his energy into undoing his tie. They’d jumped straight into arguing from the elevator doors without shaking off work first.

Even the sight of his deft fingers exposing more of his throat to her did nothing to still her mind and suppress the impulse to bounce her leg. They had to find a solution before they dropped their plans and each other.

“I barely read six pages from that book. I couldn’t even get to the beginning of the action.” If it hadn’t been his hand in hers, he’d had his mouth on her neck or her on his cock. She was bringing a book out of habit, not in delusions that she’d be inclined to read. “I’d like to think my presence would be enough to make the vacation enjoyable to you.” Her head had spun–securely laid down on his chest as it’d been–when he’d unceremoniously dropped his business arrangements to make himself a part of her vacation. She’d been on top of the world as she’d ridden him in his bedroom, reaching high above the surrounding buildings, her hips moving with the power of the deference blooming between them.

“I’d enjoy you a great deal more amongst the luxury of my hotel.” Valtor grinned his face too far away for his warm breath to touch her and make it look like anything other than a vicious show of teeth.

Oh, his hotel, was it now? They were doing the “ours” and “theirs” routine for something that should have been a simple compromise. It was a matter of time before they crashed on the road they’d taken.

Griffin squeezed his knee and stood up to pace behind the couch without obstacles in her way. “This is getting us nowhere.”

Valtor turned sideways on the couch and took her hand in his as she was moving past him to halt her steps. “I might have an idea. I just need you to promise you won’t claw my eyes out.” The corner of his lips twitched up as if to point her to the wicked spark in his eyes.

“Let’s hear it,” Griffin laced their fingers together. “Although, I can’t make any binding promises.”

“Works for me.” Valtor placed a kiss on the back of her hand. The warm contact of his lips on her skin dulled her senses to anything else. Just according to his plan. “I’ll agree to your vision, right now, if you get on your knees and give me a blowjob, right here.”

Ah, so that was where he was leading her. It was becoming blurry whether his grip was supposed to keep her from stumbling or vice versa.

“Did you come up with that now or have you been sitting on it for a while?” She braced herself on the couch stuffing his mouth with her cleavage. “Instead of working on a solution to our argument.” Games were a given with them. His hot breath was raising the flesh of her breasts into goosebumps and making it dangerously easy to slip in the delusion that their little bubble of playfulness was the only thing in existence.

Valtor pulled back to avoid the muffling of his words. “We both agree our current approach is ineffective, and I think this is fair. You give up your pride and eloquence and I give up my pride and my whims. You win, I win.” The words dripped from his lips in a slow puddle in her mind. If she didn’t watch her step, she’d drown.

“Are we sure it’s fair? You give up your spoiled, rich boy agenda and I give up my image of an intelligent woman, capable of winning her arguments with her mind instead of her body.” Heat was pooling alarmingly fast in her lower belly to drag her down to her knees with only a thin crust of cold dread blocking her way. She’d break through it with the fire Valtor was stoking inside her with his charm instead of break her bones against it. The only ice in her life – that of Valtor’s irises – was melting upon the touch of her hand and ran into a river under her lips to wash away any predicament coming between them.

“You have to know your strengths... and weaknesses. We both know you love my cock in your mouth.” His confident smirk lured out her tongue to spread her wet desire over her own lips and taste the blood red of her lipstick. He’d killed her rationality with a few strategic words and his charisma. Or maybe it was her own love guiding her hand to the trigger, her fingers squeezing at Valtor’s.

Her heart skipped a beat to make room for her susceptibility to settle in. As if she wasn’t already a home to enough emptiness her body was trying to fill. Her mouth was watering and it wouldn’t take long for her panties to get wet with inviting slickness that left her torn between which thirst to satisfy. Only having one option spared her yet another dilemma.

“You get to indulge yourself and come out a winner of our argument. You’re still using your mouth to put me in my place, just... in a different way,” Valtor’s eyes caught on her lips to raise her awareness of the ragged breaths rushing out between them. “You might have to sacrifice a little pride,” Valtor trailed a finger over the curve of her breast shifting on the couch as anticipation and arousal tangled him in her tapestry, “but it’s the necessary compromise. You give in to your weakness and I give in to mine.”

There was nothing to compromise. Her pride had gone the first time she’d gagged on his cock and her heart had throbbed for more in sync with her clit. He never would’ve gotten her there if she weren’t comfortable staying on her knees in their safe haven, devoid of problems.

Griffin circled the couch and Valtor didn’t let go of her hand as he readjusted his position. His erection was straining his trousers for her attention.

“Our vacation spot is decided then?” her free hand clutched at his inner thigh–an inch short of his cock–to have him jerking forward, her lips brushing against his forehead. She leaned into his hand when he cupped her cheek. Without an argument they could stay in their bubble indefinitely.

“Get down on your knees and it is.” Valtor held her gaze – both a challenge and a reassurance. He parted his legs wider for her to take her place between them.

The floor was cold under her bare knees and his help with his free hand tugging on his belt alongside hers was more of a hindrance but neither of them broke apart their intertwined fingers. The button and zipper of his trousers surrendered to her efforts and Valtor lifted his hips to assist her in freeing his cock from his clothing.

“You’re quite eager to give into your weakness.” Griffin took him in her mouth with no time for him to find his comeback.

Valtor grunted something incoherent–probably a curse–when his cock hit the back of her throat with ease. His grip on her hand tightened along with his legs closing around her and squeezing her harder.

She heaved a breath out of her nose, breasts rubbing into the couch. Most of the stimulation was wasted on her shirt and bra but there was no barrier holding him from plunging deep into her mind and keeping her from indulging herself into joining him. Their vacation was out of the way and reality was locked away behind the tinted windows.

“You’re just as eager yourself,” Valtor’s hand brushed against her neck at the agreement she mumbled around his erection. His fingers were torturously gentle in their teasing over the column of her throat. He wouldn’t be the one pushing her head further down on his cock when she’d do it for him–for both of them–in the future.

She swiped her tongue over the length she could reach. He was already twitching to poke at her gag reflex. He’d worked himself up with his fantasies and was close to spilling his neediness for her to prove her point.

Griffin pulled back to suck on the head of his cock teasing the tip of her tongue over it. Valtor’s fingers were digging into the expensive leather of the couch to hold him in place but he lost the battle and his self-control to her. He thrust in the wetness of her mouth to make arousal spill from her as if he’d pushed into her instead even though he only reached to her choking on his cock.

She bobbed her head up and down to take as much of him as she could without gagging so profoundly she ruined both their enjoyment. The puffs of air coming out around his length were loaded with her frustration with the limitations of her own body while Valtor rocked his hips back and forth against the couch and into her throat. His eyes closed, muscles taut with the building tension of an orgasm. He was gone to the paradise of her mouth despite the restricted depth of it.

With the tangibility of the rift between them gone, Griffin could give in, too. Relax her jaw and let her eyes roll in the back of her head at the weight of his arousal between her lips. They could stay suspended like that forever–in the bliss of each other’s growing desire as her free hand grasped at his trouser leg and his head lulled back against the couch–but Valtor had turned it all into a game and games were played to be won. She could go all out in reminding him there was a price to pay for pleasure, too. She had to.

Griffin’s mouth freed his cock with an obscene pop and her spilling saliva dripped on the couch and her own shirt. Wasting no time in unbuttoning it when it’d be impossible to take it off with Valtor’s hand still clasped in hers, she pressed her lips against his wet cock. Her lipstick had smeared off her lips by now so the only visible traces her kisses left were the little twitches of his erection and the trembles of his fingers. Her teeth grazing over his tip drew out a startled whine and the sharp blue of his eyes.

“Don’t get sassy, Griffin.” His hand slipped to the back of her neck to pull her on his cock.

She ended up face first into his exposed lower abdomen with his erection pressed into her cheek and her lips parting of their own accord to kiss the flesh against them. Her tongue darted out to leave a wet spot on his skin before she moved lower, lips brushing a straight line to his balls. She sucked one into her mouth while her nails dug into his thigh and hand. His cock was rubbing her own drool into her cheek in the rhythm of his stuttering hips.

“I bet you’ve already soaked your panties,” Valtor stroked her hair, his hand carrying the same unsteadiness as his voice. “My cock goes into your mouth and everything else goes out, including your spilling arousal.” She used the opportunity to drag the flat of her tongue over his length when he pushed her back to sneak a hand into her shirt and bra and find her hardened nipple in lieu of reaching into her underwear. “If you enjoy using your mouth for my orgasm that much, we could make this a routine.”

A shiver cascaded down her spine as Valtor’s suggestion spiraled into her mind to make her hips grind against the empty air. She lapped at his cock like it was a popsicle to busy her mouth with something other than shaping the wrong words into existence. Distraction was welcome in the right context and for a businessman Valtor had the worst timing. Or too much of her tongue on his brain.

Valtor panted at the hotness of her breath hitting his erection. “Would you relish your victories less or more knowing how they’re won? Knowing that the only way you could achieve them was to bend the knee and service my cock with that smart mouth of yours? Knowing that I don’t agree with you but enjoy the orgasms you give me with your lips wrapped around my dick instead of your own opinions?”

Griffin sucked at the head of his cock again to have his thighs trembling as he bucked into her mouth. His fingers squeezed her breast and groans spilled from his mouth like a tribute to her. He could collect his mind for a presidential speech. The moment she wrapped her lips around his cock, his thoughts would follow her command. He couldn’t play tough without her permission.

“That’s rich coming from a man that traded his say in an argument just to get his dick sucked and is now offering to make it an arrangement for the future.” He was in a mental haze so thick he couldn’t comprehend the power he was giving her. His surrender to her grew proportionally to his erection. “I would gladly do this for you any day of the week. I haven’t made you beg yet, even though you would.” She chuckled as she pulled on his wrist to fish him out of her bra. “That’s so needy of you. And to think you were having delusions of being in control?” She wrapped her lips and tongue around his finger to tease him.

His hand went limp in her grasp and plopped down on the couch when she released it.

“Oh, Valtor. You’d give me the world and the stars if I wanted them just to get my lips on your cock.” She could make him spill his orgasm for her just with her words if her confidence had the same effect on him that his had on her.

She ducked her head and pressed her lips to the underside of his erection. Her tongue licked at the spot below the head of his cock to make him moan on cue. He was so easy it was almost a pity to take advantage of him like that. But he would’ve taken the chance if he’d had it with her and he deserved an equal.

Griffin smiled and sank her teeth in place of her tongue. They left their mark under the sound of a loud whimper from Valtor. His hand squeezed hers as the other one tangled in her hair where his fingers wove themselves in as many strands as possible.

“That’s right. Hold on to my hair. I need you to stay with me and see how weak for my mouth you are. Trying to use me as an excuse for your neediness.” Griffin pressed her lips to the side of his cock now. “I might be on my knees but I hold all the power here. All you can do is cling to me while you unravel under the barest touch of my lips.” As they moved with the might of her words, they tickled feather-light brushes over his erection playing his strings for the sweet, pitiful whines falling from him. His fist closed in her hair without the strength for anything more. “Just my hot breath on your sensitive dick will make you come.” She blew over his length to send him falling into the depths of her mindfuck.

“Please,” Valtor choked out as he reached farther into his own arousal than she ever could without his eager assistance.

“You’d hand over to me all our future arguments,” she sucked in a breath as her heart swelled and restricted her lungs, “just for this one orgasm right here, right now, wouldn’t you?” Her tongue poked his balls when she stretched it but the only steady contact was the rush of her breath against them before she clicked her teeth.

The sound jolted Valtor as if his brain was so overwhelmed it couldn’t distinguish between actual sensations and what she suggested to it. She was in control of his reality. She could show him all the implications of the power he’d surrendered in her hands.

“Anything you want,” he mumbled, gone to her mouth and his own heart.

“Anything I want? I’m only offering the bare minimum. I’m not even touching you.” She pulled back at the shift of his hips seeking to renew the contact of their skin.

“I can’t... Griffin... Please.” Valtor tugged on her hair in his haze, his half-closed eyes unseeing. His hips thrust into the sound of her moaning and his cock missed her mouth by several inches.

“That was so eloquent of you,” the remark was lost on him in that state but he was still playing to her rhythm. “You can’t even use your mouth to voice what you want. I can’t give it to you if I don’t know what it is.” His arousal in her mouth had never been the source of her weakness. It was the hand she’d let him put in her chest to touch her heart.

“Please,” Valtor cried out. His tongue licked at his lips and he swallowed his uncontrollable need. “Make me come,” he heaved out with the last of his lucidity but he had more to give her.

“Is it my mouth that does this to you or would just any mouth do?” Her tongue tapped a series of quick wet spots over his cock like a map to get him more lost into her.

Valtor shook his head, his voice hoarse between his gasping breaths, “Yours. Only yours.”

“What is mine?” Griffin opened her mouth and let the tip of his cock rest on her lower lip but no further despite his attempts.

“I am. Yours. All yours.” Valtor shook from the restraint to hold himself at the threshold of the orgasm he needed. He’d stay on that precipice as long as she allowed him.

It took all of ten seconds and taking him to the back of her throat and sucking on his cock to have him coming. His dick throbbed wildly in her mouth and she had to hold his hips down to stop him from pushing her gag reflex any more. Swallowing his cum around his erection had him writhing harder and his fingers pulled on her purple tresses to sync her moans with his own groaning and grunting.

Valtor melted into the couch going limp to make her question whether he was still conscious. Only his fingers loosening in her hair and running through it confirmed that he was while she sucked in several deep breaths to fill her lungs.

He ushered himself to help her up despite his slackened muscles and she was climbing in his lap like it was her reserved throne. She pulled his head down where he could rest it against her breasts and listen to her speeding heart.

Griffin stroked his hair as he made himself comfortable on her chest. “You’re too used to people rolling over and letting you walk over them but you’re not doing business with me. You’re in love with me which can bring you down to your knees.” It could bring them both down and she’d go anywhere with him but to heartbreak. Words were toys only when they were playing a game. And she wouldn’t gamble with the future of their relationship. She needed him in the driver’s seat instead of his pride.

“Only in your hands.” Valtor pressed another kiss on the one he was still holding. He hadn’t let go even in the midst of his weakness.

“Well, you did offer me anything I want,” Griffin smirked. Once they’d settled, she’d give him a taste of the mindless oral fixation he’d been after from her.

“You wouldn’t take a win handed to you on a silver platter.” He’d also grasped the meaning from her palm. “You love the power struggle too much.” His hand crept up from its resting place on her knee under the hem of her skirt. Reaching her drenched panties would give him the proof of his words.

“In light of you giving yourself to me, all your opinions would also be mine. That should make arguments easier to solve,” Griffin gave a smirk that morphed into a chuckle at his probing fingers squeezing her thigh. He was incorrigible. “But I do have something I want. Seeing that you’re all mine.” She let him explore. She could use the attention and he knew when to halt his fingers – right over her throbbing clit. “I’ll pick what you’ll wear tomorrow. Well, you can pick what you’ll wear but you’ll go without a tie.”

Valtor shot up, his hand falling back on her thigh. “I’ll be practically naked without it.” Far from it but his affectedness was cute. So flustered over dress code.

“I’m sure most of your meetings won’t mind. You might even have an easier time bending people to your will.” Either way, he was bending to hers.

“I don’t need to use my looks,” Valtor scowled at his own play thrown back at him.

“There’s nothing wrong with knowing your strengths... and weaknesses.” Griffin twirled a strand of his hair around her finger. “Speaking of, I need your mouth and fingers.”

Valtor didn’t need more to lay her down on the couch. He hiked her skirt up around her waist and settled between her legs, fingers pressing at the damp satin of her panties to make her head fall back on the armrest. She was safe in his insatiable hands and mouth.

[nekasu]

@scarletooyoroi​

Thoma had always proven himself to be an amusing conversation partner for Neka. It also never failed sparked feelings of bitterness in him, not at the man himself, but rather inward. Neka regretted the circumstances that had led him to become as jaded as he. It was a pill he forced himself to swallow, a stark reminder that it was his own fault and nobody else’s. That unlike Thoma, his own warmth and friendliness was genuine yet a suppression of his own melancholic nature. Hidden insecurities lay dormant, but Neka still found joy in helping others and making them smile.

The reason Neka had worded his query in such a manner was that he’d wished that Thoma wouldn’t have asked him the same question in return. Either way, an agreement was an agreement, and while neither of them was native to Liyue, Neka wasn’t one to sacrifice his reputation of truthfulness in order to avoid an uncomfortable question. A faint smile graced his face as he pondered Thoma’s words. “A practical if unexciting answer. Not that I wouldn’t consider a lifestyle like yours if I had the chance, but that would’ve required me to meet someone like Ayaka sooner in my life.”

As Neka spoke, he stared straight forward with an almost wistful expression on his face, not looking at Thoma. “To me, my Vision is a much more complicated affair. While sparing you the more tedious details about my life, this is not the first time it was granted to me. Since I’m sure me leaving such a puzzling admission without explanation wouldn’t be fair, I’ll elaborate: I became so disgusted at my original ambition that I forsook it and lost my Vision as a result. It only reactivated once I’d found a new focus for my efforts.” Now, if Thoma thought to ask him to provide more information about that particular matter, Neka would refuse albeit politely.

Reaching to his side, Neka grabbed his Vision and absentmindedly ran the trinket around his fingers, eyeing it front and back. It had been with him the entire time, even when it had gone dark. Never once did he consider getting rid of it, even when it’d became nothing more than a reminder of painful decisions suitable for holding papers down. 

The two were similar enough on the surface, but deep down they were very different fundamentally. He couldn’t help but wonder how both of them would have turned out had their situations been reversed. “Your outlook is based on a nurturing flame helping to guide and protect, truly commendable, truly. On the other hand, mine is based around the notion that sometimes, one must destroy in order to protect. An icy determination to kill one’s own heart in order to make the most beneficial outcome a reality.” That didn’t mean that such decisions were easy or he was ever happy making them, but he at least could find solace. 

“One more question, much more random than before: have you heard of a youkai known as an amanojaku, by any chance?” There was something very heavy that weighed on Neka’s mind, and he was trying to figure out the answer to it, even if he had to go about it in a roundabout way.

[handonhaven]

I feel like this whole maliLandon thing is going to lead to a lot of conflict between Hope and the super squad. And that it will lead to them dividing between sides. I think that is one of things that this season has been leading up to between Hope and her friends. Becaue, Hope has constantly been sacrificing her happiness for the greater good, she spent this whole season listening to her friends when it came to Landon instead of trusting her gut instincts, she could have saved him and had the real him back alot sooner if she had just done what she wanted instead of what was deemed "right" and "logical". Not to mention the way the super squad treats Hope and Landon these past three seasons. I mean they're always so willing to sacrifice Landon like it's nothing. And they just use Hope however they see fit, not really caring about how she might feel or what she might need(I know that is an unpopular opinion for so reason). And the fact this has been on going since season 1 drives me a bit crazy. They're just terrible "friends" and when it comes to Landon(especially this season) it really drives home what Clarke said to him back in season 1. "No matter what anyone at that school tells you, you'll never be one of them." And body other than Hope and I guess Wade has treat him like he was one of them. Like he did belong at that school. And they've always treated Hope like a weapon since the monster started to show up. I would go on and give certain times but I feel like it would make this way longer than it needs to be. But anyways back to my point I think this maliLandon thing will lead to some conflict between Hope and the super squad. Because I feel like have of them(maybe more than half) will that Landon is gone or dead. While Hope will say that he's still alive in there. And she would want to do anything to get not only Landon back but Cleo as well. And if I'm right and that does lead to a conflict between Hope and the super squad or cause them to divide and take sides. Then I hope it lasts longer than an episode or two. Because I feel like something like that really needs to happen. Hope(and Landon when they get him back) tells them how she's been feeling all this time with how they treat her and make her feel. And they say their peace. Both sides will be mad at the other for while and then by the end of they make up with them realizing they have to be better friends to Hope and Landon. But like I said if something like that does happen I want it to last way longer than an episode or two. Because I just feel like that is something they've been leading up to and it would make for a good storyline. Thoughts?

Oh crap, I hadn’t thought of this, but I totally agree with all you said. This could end up being a repeat of what happened in 3x08. And it’s even worse this time! Because last time, Malivore getting out was just a risk, and that made none of them want to help Hope save Landon. But now Malivore is literally right in front of them, so what are they gonna do now if they believe that Landon is gone and think the only way to get rid of Malivore will end up hurting Landon or killing him? Great... I could hardly stand seeing none of them care about Landon after they thought he died, and again when they didn’t care if he died in the prison world, I don’t think I can take seeing it again but there’s probably a good chance we will.

You’re absolutely right. Hope has sacrificed her happiness for everyone else so much in the past, and that did lead to a lot of what’s happened this season. I agree, like in 3x05 when she felt like she had to stop looking for Landon and accept that he was dead for everyone else’s sake, if she had kept looking she may have gotten him back sooner. If everyone had been more willing to help her, they might’ve been able to find a way to get Landon back before, without him getting possessed by Malivore. But I think once Hope knew there was a chance to get Landon back in 3x07, she totally changed and wasn’t gonna give up. She was fighting for Landon and her happiness with him no matter what. So I was really glad that she changed in that way and was like that throughout the season, I think that’s been very important for her character. But I do wonder if what’s happened with her and her friends in the past and how that’s affected her and Landon is gonna be an issue now with what’s going on. And yes! Exactly, they’ve all been willing to sacrifice Landon, not caring about him or how their actions would affect Hope. Using Hope when they need her, at the expense of her own well-being... yeah, true, it’s an unpopular opinion. I think because some of those characters, like the twins, are fan favorites, so people don’t wanna acknowledge this stuff I guess? Idk, but yes, it’s been going on for a while and got really bad this season. And I feel the same way, honestly, particularly with Landon and how little they care about him just hurts. And especially when you consider Landon’s background and how he’s not been cared for his entire life. But now he has Hope, who cares about him more than anyone else does, she’s really the only one left who cares about him. But then the people around her have encouraged her to not care about him so much like?? That’s terrible and heartbreaking, and Landon deserves someone who cares about him and is willing to fight for him no matter what the way Hope does (especially now that Raf is gone, the only other person who cared). But ugh, that Clarke quote. That is so sad now looking back at that and how things have been. So true, Hope has really been the only one to treat him like he was one of them. The others have briefly, maybe in season 1 and the beginning of season 2. Josie treated him pretty well at the beginning of season 2 when they became friends. But that friendship is basically nonexistent now, because she’s not shown she cares about him with all that’s happened this season. And even Wade hasn’t seemed to care much. Like, he’s been his friend but it’s kinda felt like he just wants someone to play D&D with. He didn’t act at all sad when he thought he died, but quickly found that one new girl to play D&D with in 3x06 (can’t remember her name, she disappeared after that). So... yeah, idk. It’s all quite weird, and very sad how everyone has treated him and Hope and how they’ve used them, especially Hope, for their own benefit without really caring. Like, I understand they need Hope a lot because she’s the one who’s able to help them, but they just don’t act like they care if it affects her, and don’t seem that grateful either.

True, this whole thing with Malilandon could lead to conflict with them. Although, they did have 3x14 and 3x15 with Hope and the twins as an attempt to bring them closer. And I thought that’s what was supposed to happen with them, but that could’ve just been another case of them telling and not showing. They’ll often have these conversations with characters that end up meaning nothing. Which also reminds me of another thing that I find so sad now, which was in 2x08 when Lizzie told Landon to come back to the school and face Hope and Josie, “they will help you face whatever comes next. We all will.” Okay... when? When did any of them, besides Hope, help Landon face anything after that? Lizzie said that but then did nothing to follow through. She did nothing to help him with all that he’s faced this season, so I can’t imagine it happening now. And it could be the same thing with Josie and Lizzie telling Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone. All it took last episode was Hope driving away for them to give up and not go after her to help her. So unless they seriously change and decide to help her save Landon this time, this could be bad.

You make very good points. Especially if it’s hard to get Landon back, and if it starts to seem too risky and less likely that they’ll get him back, I can also see that causing them to divide. Because we know Hope isn’t gonna give up. All that she did to fight for Landon in 3x08 and everything else she’s done she said she would do all over again if she had to. So I’m sure we’re gonna see that happen again to some extent, and if that does cause problems and some kind of divide, yes, I also think it should last longer so that it’s actually addressed in the right way. It’d be great if they let Hope and/or Landon say something about how they’ve been treated, but I doubt they will tbh. For whatever reason, the writers ignore the way the other characters have treated them, it’s never talked about. So I don’t really have any hope that it’s gonna be acknowledged, though I’d love if it was. And I think having conflict would be a good way to bring it up if the writers let Hope say something about it. And I agree, it would have to last longer but could make for a good storyline if it was a way to finally talk about everything and fix how they’ve been treating Hope and Landon. I’m so ready for Hope and Landon to have good friendships. I think there is a chance that the writers could hopefully have the others side with Hope this time since they were trying to bring Hope and the twins closer. Who knows, maybe they’ll suddenly have everyone deciding to support and help Hope and Landon this time... which would be surprising tbh, based off of how they’ve been before. But I’m very curious now to see how that’s all gonna work out.

[gingus-doon]

For AUs... How about an AU where Keiji and Megumi both survive the First Trial? I'd like your take on that :)

you have opened pandora's box! i hope you're prepared to read a whole ass essay JSHDKABD

BUT SERIOUSLY TY THIS IS SO INTERESTING!! i saw your post on this already and commented on it then (in the tags ofc JGVKDDJDJ), bUT that was the meta of yours that inspired me to think that, maybe, keiji wouldn't be the way he is without that particular first trial and its outcome..? so i'll be operating under that assumption for these scenarios, so as not to feed a fed horse! (as peta would say,)

this does seem like quite the task, considering that it would require both conceptualizing megumi when we have minimal information about her, and reconceptualizing keiji to the keiji before the death game, when we also have minimal information on how he thinks in general... (and his characterization in this is all based on a theory to begin with, so it's not the most steady foundation lol)

of course, their first trial would need to be something else for this au… to keep things simple, it'd be best if it was neutral– neither him saving or not saving megumi, to neither restore nor forsake his faith in himself. megumi saving him would probably leave some positive impression of her on him too, so a trial which includes none of those things would be mosy fitting. but the trial itself isn't what's interesting, so i won't go into it further djdksbdk.

assuming they don't have a trial together, they'd meet each other the first time with everyone else-- i'm sure megumi would recognize keiji after the initial shock of how different he looks. and even if keiji tried to distance himself from her, she'd mention she knows keiji right away. i do think she'd have quite a bit of logic in her, but not an unsympathetic amount! however, she has been shown to throw morality to the wind when protecting keiji in the past (though asunaro may have been involved in the coverup in ways we don't yet know), so i think she'd do something similar here. she'd say she knows him and possibly that he's a police officer to solidify his standings amongst the other participants, assuming that keiji doesn't lie for himself first.

speaking of what keiji would do… so, i'm reconceptualizing him as more solemn and maybe a bit less guarded? however, it's also important to keep some level of his chill with his stupid grin and avoidance, because that constitutes a large part of how he copes with his trauma. a keiji wrestling between solemn genuineness and avoidant nonchalance, protector and sacrificer, logic and emotion! a mid-way between the two extremes of before the shooting and during the normal death game. definitely more stoic, though… less smiley but not brooding either. i think a more stoic, perhaps more reserved personality pre-death game would make a lot of sense for keiji, considering that he has absolutely no friends.

BUT ANYWAY!! back to what i was saying– i think megumi would lie in keiji's favour, because she wants to get him out of there alive (sympathetic megumi ftw!) but she may hold it over his head a bit, if only to keep him in line with her plans by means of guilt. it's worth it, though, if she can make up for what happened with the shooting– really, she couldn't believe it when she saw keiji! after he quit, i bet they'd barely seen each other since. the bags under his eyes make his face look so gaunt and haunted compared to how he was when he was a kid…

she still treats him like a kid, too. they slowly fall into the mentor-pupil relationship again they had before, by habit, like ancient cogs beginning to turn for the first time in years. but, this isn't all easygoing, of course.

i don't think megumi would apologise for the coverup. at least, not right away. she seemed very keen on ignoring it back when the shooting happened, so despite any guilt she'd have around the incident, she doesn't bring it up. keiji's somewhat content to keep it that way as well, considering that facing what he did would shatter him. but being with megumi is like facing the shooting… i'm sure being with her like that would bring up bad memories and relight slumbering resentment. he'd eventually want an apology, an explanation, something… how soon "eventually," would be, though, i'm not sure. especially considering that keiji wants to survive, and megumi will help him do that.

though, i think keiji's will to live in this scenario would be a little weaker, oddly enough. because when he kills megumi, that plunges him into the confirmation of himself as a sinner-- he has more to run from, and if he's killed two people now for the sake of his well-being (first because he feared for his life, second in hopes of being rid of his trauma), why not do it again? he's not going to dwell on it anyway, he's not going to look…

but keiji in this scenario is wrestling with himself. he'd still like to be a protector. maybe… it's still possible? maybe he's not damned just yet? maybe there's worth in sacrificing his life for the more vulnerable.

and that internal conflict could potentially clash harshly against megumi's goals of getting them out alive by any means necessary. she's not malicious, and she wouldn't try to get someone killed for the fuck of it, but when it comes down to it, she's just there for them.

i do think megumi would feel guilty for the children, though… gin and kanna are so young. sara is so bright-eyed and clever, it almost reminds her of what keiji was like back then… but she's willing to shoulder the guilt of murder for keiji this time, if only to finally atone for what she did to him and to save herself as well.

there's a few ways this could go though!! i have about four. 1) megumi is ruthlessly logical as keiji is in the actual game, and keiji goes along with it for the sake of his own survival. they end up being the sole survivors of the death game; keiji hates megumi and is entirely broken // 2) same as the last one except the rest of them thwart megumi and keiji's evil plans and maybe keiji and / or megumi die.. :v // 3) megumi is still ruthlessly logical BUT keiji's resentment of megumi and his morals push him away from her and he works against her to protect everyone // 4) megumi starts out logically, but noticing how keiji has changed as a result of his trauma and how cold he's become (she can see the same strains of her "forget morality, save yourself" logic in him and some of his decisions) she decides to let herself fall to emotion and either sacrifices herself for keiji or someone else.

and, some misc. things i didn't get to mention above....!!

i REALLY loved your idea of megumi being team mom. with the above in mind, it's exactly parallel to keiji's role in the normal death game! a should-be protector wracked by guilt who abuses their power regardless. and to think of keiji potentially taking on the role of the abuser while also possibly being one of the vulnerable underneath the force of that power… it's just really interesting!

depressing parallels aside though, i think megumi would be a nice sensible mom figure for this group of idiots sjfhddj. maybe a little blunt or initially distant, but ultimately caring.

as for her role in a wider sense, i think megumi would actually be more trustworthy than keiji is in the normal death game. although she has the disadvantage of sexism working against her, she's actually in a police outfit and lacks the shady appearance. i'm certain she could conduct herself in a way that would garner everyone's trust-- she wouldn't have any questions she needed to dodge like keiji in the main game, unless keiji brought up the shooting, but even then, that's much less severe than murder. there wouldn't be any creepy flirting with her either, not only because there's no questions to dodge in the first place, but i think she'd opt to use her authority to harshly shut down any opposition, like she did with keiji after the shooting. and when that fails, she'd fall back on logical and / or manipulative rebuttals. i also think a large part of why nao and reko specifically don't like keiji is because he's a man! a creepy man at that, and that feeling really is justified, but the point is that megumi's a woman, a respectable woman, so they wouldn't have the same qualms with her. she could also prove herself to be a more capable leader than sara, being older and still having a cool head. she'd very much come off as a reliable leader if she tried to, i think.

but back to happier things!! i think keiji would take on a less authoritative role if under megumi's wing. it's hard to say exactly how his role would change, considering that we don't know if keiji saw the percentage papers normally, and if he did in this au, would megumi as well and would they both try to cling onto sara for survival's sake? BUT i'm not going to get into that, i just want to say that i think it'd be neat if keiji took up an older brother position to in group! kind of the same as the normal death game, except he has less control over what the group does and is more on the same standings as the other participants. i think he'd get closer to being a genuine protector in this scenario, fail sooner at his attempts to avoid emotional attachments to the other participants, and i also think he'd do a lot less of the creepy flirting!! because really, the only reason he did that anyway was to dodge questions, and that'd be a lot less necessary if 1) he had dependable megumi vouching for him from the beginning, therefore making him less suspicious to the others // 2) megumi's death would no longer be a topic of concern cos it didn't happen! // 3) if someone attempted to dig up info about his past or something of the sort, something that could get in the way of the group's trust of him and therefore keiji and megumi's chances of survival, megumi could likely shut it down as she has a good reputation amongst the group. besides, the only one who would say shit like that is shin, and people don't trust him very much anyways sjfjsbfnd.

i think keiji and sara would potentially have a less manipulative and more wholesome friendship in this au ahhh ;<;

as much as a manipulative dick megumi is to keiji in this au, she gets softer when his hallucinations seem to be affecting him more, or when he has nightmares. (CAN YOU TELL I'M A SUCKER FOR FLAWED BUT GENUINE MENTORSHIPS YET)

i've started to become STAUNCHLY AGAINST the notion that keiji killed megumi maliciously or that he would kill megumi maliciously!! because logically, it'd probably be more beneficial to have such a trustworthy ally in the death game (maybe not trustworthy to him, but to everyone else) and emotionally, I JUST THINK THEY'D HAVE BEEN CLOSE BEFORE OKAY AND I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA THAT HE'D KILL HER 😭😭 (that's more my emotions than his LOL, but i think it's so important that megumi's murder was an inactive murder that keiji was unsure of to the moment it happened and beyond!! you could say his angst about killing megumi during the 2nd main game is more about him killing another person, regardless of whether or not it was megumi, BUT i like to think the fact that it was megumi SPECIFICALLY was significant to him.) so that's why throughout i haven't really entertained the idea of him trying to kill her or anything like that, especially considering the theory i'm weaving this au under, which dictates keiji would likely be a lil softer + more emotional :>

CONSIDER,,, in that scenario i posed where megumi sacrifices herself for someone / keiji: while she's dying or before her death, she hugs keiji and tells him she's sorry, it wasn't his fault. no one's ever told him this before because he's refused to talk about what happened with anyone after her dismissal of it. after she says that, though, it feels as though he's let out a breath he's been holding for years and some of the weight of the shooting is finally gone.

that's all i can think to say at the moment, SO… to sum things up– a tl;dr, if you will--

(i never actually watched this show so pls don't kill me if the casting choices are weird 😭😭)

i hope this wasn't too derivative of yours or too horribly self indulgent to read LOL. this wasn't nearly as thorough as i could've been, but it might've been a bit much to consider more branching paths ajdbsns. thank you for letting me rant about keiji and megumi, i was thinking about them earlier today so it's nice to be given a chance to ramble about them again!!

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E07 Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

[ Reaction Vid with friends ]

.

I knew about two things in this episode, but that aside, all new stuff for me! I don’t know if it’s because it’s anime-original but quite frankly I don’t want to know. Somehow I’ve convinced myself I won’t care if I know things, but seeing it all unfold is still different - I still WISH i was more blind, obviously, but yeah. I just wish they had more runtime still to cover the final stretch because I do really want to relish this far longer, especially now that I only know like 2 things, one of which likely won’t be relevant in the anime-route.

BUT OH WELL, enough meta emotions. Onto the mess that is my thoughts in my tiny brain trying to comprehend all those factors and making sense of everything.

.

. Norman’s plan

I find it interesting that Mujika and Sonju are the thing that bothers Norman specifically. Ray asks “so they kept the power for themselves” in regards to the nobles, which to me means they have it (they did eat them). So aren’t they a risk too? Since Norman worries about Mujika using it to give the degenerated demons their bodies back -- though the nobles might not do that since it’d make the folk emancipated. But like, if you have no folk left, there’s nothing to control either...

So my guess why Mujika/Sonju are a bigger risk are:

they’re more unpredictable and might be quicker to counter-act his efforts with their ability

Norman knows WHERE the nobles are and (I’m guessing) has a plan to deal with them - he DOESN’T know where Mujika is so she’s riskier since she’s evading his view of the chessboard quite literally.

.

I do think I shouldn’t have to read between the lines like that - what’s Norman’s plan with the nobles? Does the drug really not work on them? If so, how will they get rid of them? To be fair, he seems very certain that eliminating Mujika and Sonju won’t be a big problem; so it’s likely that he’d proceed the same way with the nobles (probably lambda squad) - but I would have liked if that very valid concern had come up in the discussion of the plan.

His “safer” plan literally

doesn’t affect the nobles (who might be a small group but still); which goes unaddressed by him. I don’t think he’s not aware of it, since later in the discussion, the thing that bothers him about Emma saying to just get rid of the nobles and the farm humans ISN’T to get rid of them, what he considers implausible is using the noble’s blood / ONLY killing THEM and not all the demons. At least in my opinion.

human enemies (though they might get caught up in the wild demon chaos I guess)

the world will literally be riddled with wild demons for a good while. How is that any safer? I guess he’ll bring everyone to his hideout that was referenced (where he hides all the kids he broke out) and that will be protected from wild demons either by infrastructure or the humans inside -- I guess viewed from that perspective, it does sound like a pretty “safe” plan if it’s just enough of a “fortress” sort of deal.

His plan IS however more “concrete”. Going to the human world is risky because

the gatekeeper, whatever he is. But like, can he just leave the guardian be all the way underground? is that how it works? Won’t he have to get rid of him eventually?

they could be followed there. they could destroy the gate, however that would doom everyone still over there and who knows if the demons could just break the separation in rage.

they could be unwelcome by the humans on the other side. Either because they somehow profit off of the demon world’s human farms or because the humans over there fear the end of the promise and therefore scramble to send them back. idk if they could take an army of children but it’d be a risk for sure, especially if it implies that they would be constantly chased no matter where they go. A life on the run seems unfavorable (but I’d find that super interesting tbh, arc in the human world??).

andit isn’t going to GF (since he agreed to Emma going back for the others in ep6) that concerns him (imo) but actually just the gatekeeper and the risk of the human world that they don’t know about. Norman does know the effect his drug has on demons, because he’s SEEN it. Eliminating the demons is the more concrete option because if there's no demons, there's no-one to restart the cycle or to follow them or to do whatever. Even if nobody needs humans, that's no gurantee nobody will start farming humans again (see the high class, after all).

So I do think he makes sense there, but I also think it’s a bit of stubbornness and pride too.

there's too many factors and my brian is small.

.

. the dil-emma

Those slight confusions aside, it’s a good dilemma and I relish in it. Nobody could blame them if they did it, but Emma does have a point - do the lower ranks of society hold the blame for what the rich do? - in fact the nobles take all the quality food, leaving their other demons to starve and deform in the lower ranks, even though they don't need it. Did the two demons molded by the system they live in, who just wanted to save literal kids, deserve to die...? The class/capitalism allegory basically writes itself-

Emma is going hard on the parallels and emphasizing with them being living creatures just like them -- and I agree, honestly. Would it be fair to eradicate all of humanity just because the high class / corporations are damning the planet? (some would say yes but YKNOW)

I think Emma has a lot less footing right now -- the upper ranks have all the power, who says it’ll work this time even if they try to turn every demon? Who says they won’t be like the nobles or literally Sonju, one of their “friends” However, I don’t think Emma is being stupid - her concerns are valid. She’s not just doing it for Sonju and Mujika. Though, I still think it’d be interesting if Emma had to change her ideology, not method, this time but... I’m curious how it’ll go.

Tbh I think what it's gonna go for is the middle ground: escape to human world and hope that Sonju and Mujika will help the lower ranks of society and hopefully not be killed. But then again, Sonju wants to eat humans so rip

If they want to ensure some more power to Sonju and Mujika, then 1) flee to human world and kill nobles and farm administration in the process (likely included in part since the gate is in GF) and 2) then hope that demons will just accept their new found peace of not having to chase after humans and just chill in their world.

They probably also can't take every human, so there's always the risk of the cycle just starting anew (especially since as Norman said, some humans also act in self-interest. I'm curious what exactly that self-interest is, aside from getting to live peacefully potentially but even that sounds kind of like a not that epic thing in demon society. unless there's a small village for humans they've deemed worthy and are just throwing there, like what they promised Isabella - or it's just going to the human world I guess WHO KNOWS). and while I did touch upon a sort of "grey" ending for TPN where our group is safe but who knows about the rest, I am actually really curious if that's what they're going for or not. It feels like no matter what I consider something doesn't work out or doesn't feel right.

.

. the gates (and the human world)

I wish we would have known about gates existing prior to this episode. We never found out WHAT is at the location (just have Exposition James mention it). I understand why the pen only showed one - it’s implied the humans had a base there and of course you’d want to send escapees there and not into a farm’s gate but I think there should have still been a side note in the pen that it’s a gate?? Like clearly the farm already knows about gates if their farm is directly above it, right?? so why try to keep it secret pff-

is the implication that the highest humans are actually from the human side or how can I imagine that?? Is it actually not that rare for some humans to exist on both sides if they’re just high rank enough. A gate has no point if nobody can pass - but I guess maybe it’s just under the farm to protect it? Since you already have all those systems for the farm’s kids, why not double-utilize it as a safeguard.

why are there gates to begin with. I wonder if it's science or if that was a backdoor to the deal - but why would you even need that? I guess for human materials.

But it can’t be that nobody can cross, because I’m assuming the tech/food comes from the human world since we haven’t seen non-human farms that would provide for the farms. And if nobody can cross, deliveries will be hard...? So I’M CONFUSED.

.

. Nor “I just did a few tests” man

YES ANGST but also NO, BABY

Norman just loves them so much and he's running out of time >:”0 of course he'd want to go with the plan he's been cooking up. if he's not there he can't save them!

And he’s always been like that, too, as the episode very very clearly points out several times haha. He tricked them in s1 too. He might be more drastic in his methods, but he also admitted to originally only planning to escape with the two of them and he also admitted he suspected Ray first and he thought about cutting Ray off at first before he talked to Emma -- so even the more cold side isn’t all that surprising. He might also be dissociating a bit, tbh. 

But it’s also so tragic,,, He thinks he can’t give them the future Emma wanted without a sacrifice. The problem just is that it was a forced sacrifice because Norman lied to them and said he'd work with them to ensure he escapes too but then didn't. He gave up and forced his defeat on the others, because he thought that it was the safer option than taking more risks (which is happening now too lol).

I also wonder if aside from just... trying to save them until he can’t anymore, a part of his motivation in pushing them away (”isn’t it tough?” - “no”) is that he won’t burden them with his turmoil. He’s their savior right? He can’t falter. If he does, Emma and Ray will just become more stubborn about stopping him. It’ll make it harder for them. Maybe it’s better if they dislike him than worrying. Maybe it’d also make Emma hate herself less if he plays the bad guy...

those are my thoughts, anyway.

.

. Some drug thoughts

Assumptions:

it has to be applicable large scale

I assume the lances in the demon’s body are just there to immobilize it, and not to inject. there are those bulging parts around the entry points, but we did see that also happening when Ray shot the demon eye, so I’m assuming it’s simply their reaction to bodily harm/wounds.

plus, if they have to throw 50 spears into every demon to get the drug to work that's one hell of an inefficient plan

Based on how a lot of the demon dynamics work over food, I’m assuming it’d be something like mixing it into their drinking water, but that might leave some out of they notice. (do they even drink water?)

maybe it’s also just it getting into bodily contact. that would be convenient.

also why would you want a demon in your basement that just seems risky pff

.

. other random things I liked

the Gilda and Emma headbump was so cute sdfudhdsjsd

Lani and Thoma mentioning the migrating birds during their tower watch and that then later coming back when the kids think about where they could be was nice!

I think her involving everyone again is a nice nod to the season's theme, including the whole putting “faith” in them. Norman doesn’t trust them with his plan. I think the bigger problem isn’t that he won’t trust Emma’s plan, because he’s not wrong to object to it, but he should still rely on his family and let them help with the plan instead of deciding it all himself. He doesn't have to literally sacrifice himself for it, again. There is the "don't burden everything by yourself" message of the season, with Emma inviting Gilda and Ray prompting Don to come with them too (probably because they realized it’d be weird to rant about Norman doing everything alone and then doing the same pff-). I think that's what they're going for, that when they work together, he won't have to suffer so much. Even if the plan doesn't change much, he should still rely on them. it is however true that they don't have that much to offer in terms of a long-term solution right now, so that's unfortunate. But we'll see what finding Mujika will bring :3

The gate being in GF ties up the story really well for this weird 2 seasons abridged. i can kinda see what they're going for with the middle arcs missing, which definitely hurts overall but I think it makes the whole thing a little more streamlined in terms of themes and coming back to what s1 was about, quite literally. they just stumbled in the execution (hard, sometimes)

The seizures :((( they’re all so broken, they need HUGS

that "what makes you so nervous?" remark from Ray and also the squad being like "we don't have long left" as the lead up to Norman’s seizure was. so good.

Norman’s seizure scene. The far shot, the blood, the “sorry” I’M EMO-

Norman’s soft “be careful” to Emma and Ray, showing that softer side again :<

Also Ray's reaction to "the gate is in gf" is just a mood haha

THE SHIPMENT PARALLELS! the sounds, grabbing his hand this time when he had to take hers during his shipment AHHH-

.

. other random things I didn’t like

why is Norman not taking the GF kids to his location I am confusion. MAYBE the room they're in (the building just looks like that room and the basement stuff but idk) wouldn't be big enough to comfortably live there or maybe he's too absorbed and doesn't want his siblings to find out about their seizures (which would be more likely to happen if they lived around him) and his brutal experiments (they do always somehow find every little thing in a place haha), but I feel like taking them there would still be better overall. He literally has no way of knowing if something does happen to them. I guess it could be argued he trusts them enough to be able to handle it, but if he's doing it all for them (and probably some trauma to be honest), he definitely should be more concerned and have brought them or at least let one of the lambda kids stay with them.

My friends and I literally everytime they left for food, we already were like "great, leave the kids alone". I feel like in that case it's going a bit for the whole "putting trust in each other" angle but I still feel it's kind of questionable to leave them on their own too.

Overall, I think things add up but I think that’s bc I’m a) very forgiving and b) often just slap a somewhat likely/good-will explanation on things and accept that for now. It’s good for my enjoyment but it might make me seem delusional but I DO THINK that i shouldn’t have to read between the lines this much for the non-mystery elements.

the deal makes no sense from Emma’s POV, what’s her goal? Hoping Mujika’s intel and knowledge about demon society will be of help and convince Norman not to do it? but she already made it a condition to not annihilate the demons if she brings them, so I guess she just wants to give her plan a chance - but I’m not sure what she thinks Norman would see in that plan. I guess he wants to kill them because they’re unpredictable, but if he was to hold his word, their unpredictable nature wouldn’t matter since he can’t annihilate the demons anymore anyway based on his agreement (which he intends to break of course but LIKE FROM EMMA’S PERSPECTIVE. BABY WHAT YOU DOING).

.

So yeah... I’m definitely enjoying the ride. I can see its faults, i’m not delusional, but the base elements are interesting to think about and coming up with some explanations that make sense is also fun - though I wish there was a bit more canon ground / “connecting the dots” experience to it.

I hope I can continue to have fun with the show until it ends, at the very least. Content is content, I’m to tpn-brain-rotted pfff-

[unicyclehippo]

In the last Talks, Laura said she hadn't checked in about the Gentleman and his people trafficking deal, if he was still doing it. What if Beau figured out he was doing it still and confronted him so he wouldn't disappoint Jester?

the gentleman is entertaining at his table when the drifting waiter makes their way over with a new glass of wine and a brief, whispered word into his ear. the gentleman arches a brow at whatever is said, drags a thoughtful finger over his goatee.

[[MORE]]

‘gentlemen,’ he interrupts the conversation with the word, smiles winning around at his amassed guests. ‘if you’d excuse me for a moment?’

‘they might, aye, but what about the ladies?’ the dwarven lady—impressively muscled, impressively bearded—tosses a wink his way and smiles a toothy smile. ‘ah’m only kiddin’. we want ye to scarper—yer the only one we cannae take for all he’s worth.’

the gentleman laughs, quite genuinely. he stands, spreads his hands in a warm, welcoming fashion. ‘guests, i shall return shortly. until then—drink, dine...and gentlemen—do lose well.’

the sound of laughter follows him up the stone staircase that wraps around to the second storey of his den. it isn’t until he steps into his study that he allows his smile to fall away and the invisible form of his informant reveals themself, stepping up to his side.

‘through here? how did they—teleportation?’

‘doesn’t look like it. looks like they came through the tunnels.’

‘one of ours, then, to know the way in.’

‘not...exactly.’ under the gentleman’s stare, dunn continues. ‘a known entity, yes. but she’s a monk.’

‘of the reserve?’

‘yessir.’

jester’s friend, he thinks but doesn’t say. of all his close agents, dunn is the most level-headed, but the gentleman is not in the habit of pointing a knife at someone he doesn’t wish to be killed.

they make their way quickly through the tunnels to the gentleman’s quarters. his real quarters, not the false office he keeps by the bar. the door opens silently, hinges kept well oiled, and the gentleman’s gaze slips past the shelves of blood in their phials, past stacks of curious items, past several towers of gold and platinum, past the desk and chest of his most useful correspondence, to the familiar monk who stands in the centre of his trapped floor, unharmed.

‘thank you, dunn. i can take it from here.’

the hesitation is apparent to the gentleman and to the monk, who looks between them, no doubt looking for some kind of clue as to their relationship, dunn’s standing within his empire.

‘yessir,’ dunn says, and turns neatly on their heel.

the door closes behind, and babanon dusal—who wears the name so rarely it has begun to feel more like the mask than that of the gentleman—steps carefully from the entrance to his desk. he leans against it, folds his arms.

the monk doesn’t even follow his movement, not even when his stopping at the desk puts him out of her peripherals.

‘you had best have something very important to tell me,’ he warns silkily after a moment to let her sweat. ‘or else i may take this as some kind of...threat.’

‘you’re supposed to.’

‘beg your pardon?’

the monk—beauregard lionett, of the lionett family, kamordah, first child of thoreau lionett, the originator of the vineyard and brand—takes something from her pocket. a small phial. red inside. she throws it down to the floor, watches as it shatters with a crash and smear of red across the flagstones.

‘i said,’ she tells him, voice mild, ‘this is supposed to be a threat.’

‘fascinating way to go about it. trapped in there. destroying my belongings.’

‘the blood is jester’s,’ she corrects, and turns so very slowly that the trap doesn’t activate.

babanon feels a stirring of unease, glancing down at the red stain, the glass fragments.

‘i kinda have some father issues i’m working out at the moment,’ beau continues, mouth stretched in a grin that almost encourages him to laugh along. it doesn’t meet her eyes. those are flat and bitterly cold. ‘but i’m not quite done with that, so trust me when i say i’m fully invested in kicking your ass if it comes to that. he’s got ego too. i reckon it’d be cathartic.’

‘as terribly intrigued as i am to hear about your family drama, i’m far more interested in hearing how you found your way here.’

she shakes her head. ‘you think you’re all that. you’re nothing special. you’re the head at the top of a whole lotta worker bees and some are better at covering their tracks than others.’

‘for example?’

‘two in particular. a young human guy called suck my dick, and a half-elf lady called you piece of shit.’

‘ah. must be new hires.’

her eyes flash. a muscle that runs up the side of her cheek and temple jumps as she clenches her jaw tight; after a moment, a slow breath curls out from her mouth.

‘think of it as a threat, if you want. i think it’s a threat too. some of us would call it a warning, if they knew i was here.’

‘they don’t?’ it would be far easier to get rid of her if no one knew she was here.

beau must be able to read the thought on his face, or else her line of logic goes in much the same way as his own, because she says, ‘i wouldn’t try shit, if i were you. they might not know where i am but they’re expecting me back. and jester can get scry-happy when she’s worried so any minute now she’ll see where i am—and who i am with,’ she adds, and moves so very quickly that the trap that explodes behind her doesnt manage to catch her in the blast. she is at his throat—ignoring the prick of his poisoned blade at her gut—before he can blink, strong fingers pressed at some very sensitive points that have his own fingers useless, numb, around the hilt of his blade. ‘i don’t want her to see this, just as much as you don’t, because i don’t want her heart to break when she finds out you’re nothing like she thinks. one thing—one thing—she asked of you,’ she hisses. ‘don’t trade in people. something not even the lowest of the fuckin’ low would stoop to.’ she shakes him hard, throws him away from her as the numbing sensation wears off. ‘it hasn’t even been a year and you’ve broken that promise.’

‘the war has ended. profits are—‘

‘more important than your daughter?’

babanon remains stubbornly silent. he has worked to build this group up from dregs—and yet, despite all the work and the sacrifices, he cannot deny the connection. his own weakness.

‘what do you want? i presume since the traps did nothing, you have enough to have me arrested seven times over.’

beau fixes him with that cold stare. she makes a good partner to his daughter—he hadn’t missed the way she described her rebuke, all shards of blue ice.

‘i don’t give a fuck about you or your crime empire. i’m not here to arrest you.’

‘then why?’

‘i want the second phial. of jester’s blood.’

‘i don’t know what you—‘ a bladed item of some kind bites into the soft of his shoulder, thrown so fast the monk’s movement was nothing but a blur.

he throws his dagger and she steps out of its path, flings the other star of metal.

‘we each gave two phials,’ she says cajolingly, not the slightest bit winded or concerned by the rivulets of red that drip down each of his arms, down his hands, to drip drip drip upon the stone. she holds up a hand, wriggles two such phials toward him. ‘see? both of nott’s.’ these, too, she sends flying into the wall to crash. it won’t be long until the blood turns brown and dry and would be useless to anyone trying to use the samples. ‘but i found only one for jester. give me the second.’

babanon stares her down. considers his option. ‘what do i get?’

she favours him with a withering stare, one that makes it clear how very stupid she thinks he is being.

‘i won’t tell her what you’ve done. what you’ve agreed to. end the deal, denounce it. she never has to know.’

‘i—‘

‘they stole her,’ beau snarls. ‘kidnapped her. locked her up and killed her friend. slavers! how can you keep working with them?’

he bows his head very slightly. won’t meet her eyes as he lifts his hand to the silver chain around his neck, the small phial of red hanging from it.

‘end it. give me that blood. and fuckin’—‘ she hesitates and then presses on. ‘you need to actually earn her time—don’t just listen to her and send her off to have a drink. talk to her. be a dad for fuck’s sake.’

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

RWBY V07E07 - Worst Case Scenario

It has been two weeks since I last watched RWBY so let me try and remember what happened. There was a party, some flirting, a kiss... and that's it, right? Nothing bad happened, right? Right?

* sigh *

I assume someone is going to drop the title referring to the fallout after what happened last episode. I expect riots and Grimm, and maybe Robyn trying to commandeer the resources destined for the future Amity Tower (which is probably the only thing Ironwood _really_ cares about since he has been all "it's worth the sacrifice" the entire season so far.) I don't want to keep waiting so let's do this!

Oh no, sad Penny. What an auspicious start for the episode.

This is her dad, right? Those robot pats straddle the line between dorky and sad. I doubt the military wants Penny in the streets so I guess this is the only way he can be with her. Ugh. My heart.

Look at this crime against humanity. RT will answer for this someday!

Oh, one of the thirsty moms survived! The one with the casserole!

She's _terrified_, and with good reason. From her point of view, her own government killed her friends for daring to believe. What if she's next? Is Atlas going to start hunting everyone who supported Robyn? What about the people close to them?

We know that's not going to happen but she (and the rest of Mantle) is in all her right to believe it will

Oh no.

It's interesting how the scene that was, at the time, only a gag showing Jaune's bad luck and some cute kids with their moms, ended up being setup to show us how quick everything changed. Now their moms are dead and they are orphans, alone and in the cold.

Of course, this only furthers my belief that nothing good can be trusted in RWBY because it'll only be used to increase our suffering.

I'm going to _pissed_ if this happens. Stop killing Penny for god's sake.

First: I'm so glad she's okay.

Second: holy shit

did she just absorb an entire truck into her hand? Is she a human pokeball / dragon ball capsule? What a busted up semblance!

Huh. I really thought it was going to be something related to his tower. Unless that's what he's _really_ worried about (was that the truck's destination?)

ah, there you go.

Good!

Was Ozpin an "end justifies the means" man? I think he wasn't really, or at least he didn't consider himself one, but he had spent so much time alive he lost sight of what he was doing and asking people to do for him really meant.

In comparison Ironwood knows exactly what's going on. He believes he's doing the right thing by prioritizing the tower over his people. And maybe he's right from a global point of view? But the fact that the human lives that are going to be lost are the ones that were _already_ suffering is a supremely bad look. What's going to be left of Mantle after he saves the world?

You tell him, Nora!

Nothing good ever comes when someone says "the greater good."

Ilia said exactly the same thing back in Volume 5, almost word for word. I wonder if the callback is intentional or if there's just not that many ways to use that concept as an excuse.

I _really_ thought she was going to say "exchanging Salem for you."

I love how Nora is the one speaking up but I hate that no one is supporting her. Winter looks completely unimpressed back there but I didn't expect much from her or Clover but what about the rest?

_Thank you_

Wow, what did he do to get Salem's personal attention? Because "what are you?" followed by "Beautiful" has to be about her, right?

oh _no_ what is wrong with Reeeeeen.

We never got an explanation about his behavior, he didn't talk and Nora kissing him solved zero problems. Yay.

I was hoping for a cut away to them partying it up before all hell broke lose but oh well.

Treason!

I _love_ that they are all right, or rather, their opinions are all understandable. I can see where both Yang and Blake are coming from and there's no way to say "ah, the show is doing everything it can to show that Yang is wrong."

Which keeps increasing my worry about how they are going to handle the end of the arc because so far the show has been very even handed but any ending where the long term sacrifice and oppression of Mantle ends up being justified is going to be... well, bad. It doesn't help that the "oppression" hasn't been really visible so it could be reaally easy to just sweep it under the carpet and just say something about "things are going to be better from now on" or even "they weren't that bad to begin with"

Anyway, this is me getting worried about things that may not even happen so I won't keep talking about it. Let me say instead how happy I am that they are still dealing with what happened with Adam and of course that would color Blake's views of what she wants to do in the future.

And is that treason I'm hearing here? I expected a team up with Robyn but I didn't expect it to come from these two. Interesting. Is Yang going to spill the beans to her about the tower and Salem?

Look at those green borders inside the boot! Tsk, tsk, Watts. He obviously was getting bored of masking Penny frame per frame.

lmao. Maria is straight up vocalizing the section of the fandom that misses the early simpler seasons

Oh. Watts's plan has _layers_. I'm impressed!

ooh hidden penny lore

how many theories is this going to prove/disprove?

The man under the thumb has to be Watts, right?

WOW

I _really_ didn't expect this to be the answer for Penny's soul. I was in the "there's no artificial soul" camp but I expected something like Pietro transferring someone else's soul or a lost daughter, not him literally giving her part of his soul.

What does this mean for Penny? Does the part of the soul Pietro gives her grow like a plant from a cutting or everything she uses her semblance or is hurt she loses a bit more of it? It has to grow, right?

It's good to see an explanation for Pietro's death flags. Is he going to die saving Penny one last time? Jaune is learning how to manipulate his aura outwards...

Just lol at the being an obvious villain even in the group pictures.

So, is this personal for Watts? Did Ironwood choosing Penny mean the end of his career? Did he try to do whatever he planned anyway and got fired?

The hand again! Is that how she activates her semblance? But if she needs the person to grab her hand, what did she expect from Clover?

Also, props to the show for making everyone react somewhat realistically. Of course, Robyn was going to run the second she saw Ironwood's new pets.

Is Ironwood intentionally using RWBY and the rest to keep suspicions down? "They are all young and attractive, some even look innocent, there's no way they are doing anything _bad_, right?" But again, that would mean Ironwood is playing 4D chess and I'm not sure that's his deal.

Oh no. And Yang is so proud of her pun.

That was a good first step. I can't deny I was hoping for Yang and Blake to join the huntresses and kick ass but I was dreaming too big.

...so it was Ozpin idea to have a city floating above Mantle making ther differences permanently clear? Has Ozpin ever had a good idea?

FREE ENERGY AND THEY STILL ABUSE PEOPLE TO GET DUST

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I know it's probably not easy but

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

Atlas is 100% going to crash into the ground. I think everyone already suspected it'd happen but this is a gigantic death flag.

Ironwood is sliding down as fast as he can down the slippery slope of the greater good. He didn't want Ozpin's opinion, he wanted Ozpin to tell him he was right.

It feels so bad to take away from Oscar's growth but I wonder if they are already merging.

welp

That was a great episode to return to. Somehow RWBY is managing to handle all the balls it had in the air earlier in the season and hasn't dropped one yet.

I was expecting that the episode would start with Yang and Blake or Weiss and company but nope, just sadness and tragedy. Followed by more consequences, in the form of Robyn and her happy huntresses finally doing what they probably wanted to do from the start. If the "legal" way didn't work, well, time to do it anyway. That does leave me with some questions about how long was the timeskip between episodes, it can't be that same night, especially with the news showing things like "additional deaths confirmed." Maybe same week but at least a couple of days later?

Ironwood needs someone to shake him by the shoulders. Some of the things he's saying wouldn't be out of place in any villain's origin story, especially the part about wanting to get rid of his fear. I hope Jacques being the awful man he is shows him what waits for him in the other side.

Pietro's reveal about Penny's soul really feels like the biggest of his death flags so far. Him dying trying to make Penny live again really feels like end-of-season drama, considering there's no Pyrrha to kill again and apparently RT really likes killing Penny. Jaune _just_ learning about the possibilities of his semblance feels weirdly suspicious now that we know about Penny's aura but... it's a bit too out there since I think they have never talked. Or maybe it's all a misdirect and someone else ends up dying with RT winking at us saying "you really though it'd be Penny, huh?" At this point I'm not sure what'd be worst.

I liked everything about Yang and Blake's talk in the truck. I'm not a big fan of Yang's main trait lately being "dislikes secrets" (the secondary being "likes Blake") but I'm not sure if overcoming that is just her next step in her growth or if that's all there's going to be.

Their chat with Robyn was great, I can't wait for the repercussions of telling the leader of the resistance the biggest secret Atlas has. With Ironwood being who he is, it could be _bad_ for the couple which could push everyone else in one direction or the other, and not necessarily the _same_ direction, as we already saw with Ren who's officially canceled because for some reason he's going all fash (I _really_ need an explanation before the season ends)

This volume is going places, can't wait for the next episode! Until next time!