#it doesn’t even look 4k on youtube like???

[sparklingchim]

summer playlist; m | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 4k

genre: hockeyplayer!jungkook, richgirlie!oc, college!au, fwb, brother's best friend

rating: 18+

warnings: semi public sex, blowjob, spanking, jk is truly obsessed w her <3, protected sex, nipple play, jk leaves a hickey n oc gets upset 🙄, spit, dirty talk, his necklace dangling in her face 😋, jk's rejection count: TWO !!!!, pls someone hug him 🫂, fingering, clit play, groping

summary: pov: jungkook dedicates a cute playlist to you and fucks you to it on the balcony.

a/n: ur honour i was forced to write this don't come for me !!! 👉🏼👈🏼 enjoy the filth 😋

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

One of your favourite forms of self-care and relaxation is Pilates.

You love dressing up in your cute gym wear sets – you own countless of them, even though you never actually work out in the gym; they’re purely for the aesthetics – and grabbing a big water bottle along with your laptop for at least half an hour dedicated me-time.

It’s a bright morning and you’re on the balcony. The sun is gently warming the air as you’re following a Pilates video on your laptop, which is propped up on the couch. Jungkook’s playlist, the one he created just for you, is playing softly in the background, providing the perfect soundtrack without drowning out the instructor’s voice.

Truly, nothing can beat these types of mornings.

But of course, something had to interrupt your peace.

While you’re on your hands and knees, your phone vibrates next to the mat. You ignore it the first few times, but it keeps buzzing. With an annoyed huff, you grab it and unlock the screen.

Jungkook’s spamming you with numerous messages.

Jungcock 😋

hi

morning

watchu up to

im taking a run in the park

and im boored

are u up?

entertain me

You

omg did you change your contact's name again

stop doing that

how can you text and run?

He doesn’t reply. Instead, he calls you on FaceTime.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Jungkook says in a raspy voice, the screen shaking a bit as he runs his miles around campus. “I’m good at everything I do.” His tight black tee clings to his chest, displaying his big pecs. You feel your breath hitch and you’re not sure if it’s from your workout or the sight of him.

“Your ego, Jungkook,” you reply, shaking your head in disbelief. “Too big.” You set your phone down with an exasperated sigh, leaning it against the feet of the couch. His eyes drift down to your cleavage.

“I think my ego is perfectly fine. Flashing his dimples as you roll your eyes at him. “What are you doing?” he asks, sounding a bit breathless – so hot, but you brush it off. You’re a strong girl, after all.

“Was doing Pilates until you rudely interrupted me,” you say skipping back on the YouTube video and picking up where you left off. “Don’t you have other girls to entertain you?”

“None of them are as cute as you,” he replies smoothly, and you can’t help but wish he wouldn’t be so good at flirting. “You look hot in that fit.”

“Thanks.” You follow the instructions on the screen. It turns out to be a bit harder to focus with a sweaty, ruggedly handsome Jungkook right beneath it.

“Are you listening to my playlist?”

“Yeah,” you admit, smiling.

Your thoughts wander back to the time Jungkook made that playlist for you. You had told him you never really listened to playlists, just played one song and let the auto-play feature do the rest. He was so stunned by that revelation that he spent an afternoon creating a cute little summer playlist just for you.

“Good choice,” he grins, clearly pleased with himself.

“I actually really like the playlist.”

“Of course. I make the best playlists,” he boasts, and you can’t help but chuckle at his confidence.

An exhausted sigh escapes your lips. After finishing the set, you change into the child pose and take deep breaths, relaxing the muscles.

“Taehyung’s at his morning class?” he asks.

“Uh-huh.”

“Can I come over?”

You lift your head to look at the screen. He’s running at a more leisurely pace, looking even more irresistible.

“Like, right now?”

“Yeah.”

“But I’m busy,” you argue, teasing him with a thoughtful pout. On the screen, the instructor announces that the little break is over, and you should get ready for your next set, but you’re not listening anymore. What’s happening on the little screen in front of you is far more enticing.

“Busy, huh?” he mocks with a smirk. “Maybe I can help you with what you’re doing.” His eyes light up with excitement as he pushes his hair from his forehead. “Or you wanna get busy together?”

Unfortunately, it seems you’re not as strong a girl as you thought. You’re very weak. His teasing question, coupled with his wicked tongue grazing his lip piercing, has you weak in the knees. You want nothing more than him on the couch and you straddling him.

“I won’t take up too much of your time,” he promises, the sweet smile back on his face. “Unless you want me to.” He raises an eyebrow teasingly.

“Just come over,” you tell him with a hint of irritation.

Jungkook has the audacity to chuckle, and you frown at him.

“Be quick, or I’ll change my mind.”

~

“Hi.” Jungkook pokes his head out from the balcony.

You squeal, placing a hand over your chest.

“Jungkook!” you exclaim. “What happened to ringing the bell like normal visitors?”

“Why did you give me the passcode then?” he retorts cheekily, ogling the snug fit of your gym wear.

“Because I had severe cramps and didn’t wanna get up from the couch.”

Thinking back on that specific day, you feel a spark of giddiness bloom in your chest. You had gotten your period, were battling atrocious cramps, and top of it, you had run out of pads. With Taehyung not home and needing them urgently, you knew Jungkook was always quick to reply to your texts. So, you decided to ask him if he could pick up some pads for you.

Twenty minutes later, he showed up at your door not only with the pads but also with snacks. You could see the faint pink flush on his cheeks when he asked, “Girls like eating chocolate when they’re on their period, right?” and hesitantly handed you the snacks.

And then, you did something that still makes you ponder at night – you cuddled without having had sex before. Oddly enough, it felt more intimate than any sexual encounter. Granted, you did get up to some naughty things afterwards, but still. Jungkook had cuddled you through your cramps and even endured watching reality tv shows he claims to despise once again.

“Well, I didn’t wanna disrupt you.” Jungkook walks over to the couch. He grabs your laptop, settles down, and places it on his lap. “Not now, anyway.”

You shift to sit on your knees. Briefly glancing at the screen where the instructor does the next set of exercises before drifting to Jungkook’s smitten face. His skin glistens with a thin sheen of sweat, and his chest still rises and falls a bit faster than usually.

You nod towards him, eyes clinging to his muscular thighs that peek out from his shorts. “How am I supposed to focus when-” When you look like that. But the words catch in your throat.

Jungkook is so shamelessly cocky, he places his hands behind his head. “When what?”

You sigh in irritation, close the video, and slide the laptop off his lap and onto the couch. He opens his legs for you. “Forget this,” you huff, placing your hands on his knees. Jungkook leans in, crashing his lips onto yours, his hand cupping your face.

The kiss is needy and messy. He teases you with his tongue, and you playfully respond until he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, causing you to moan and lose yourself in the feeling of his mouth. In less than a minute, Jungkook has you completely pliant in his embrace.

The balcony is surrounded by tall privacy screens and partially shaded by a large canopy, providing privacy from prying eyes.

Your hands slide up his legs, underneath his shorts. You feel his thighs flex on your palm and you squeeze them back in response.

“Wanna feel your mouth,” Jungkook whispers against your lips, sighing in pleasure when you just barely graze your fingers against his cock that strains against the material of his briefs.

Jungkook impatiently pulls down his shorts and briefs and you help him. His cock springs out and stands prettily against his abdomen. Your mouth waters and you have to tell yourself to calm down – he's just a boy and you’re too whipped.

You spit on his cock and coat his length with it. You twist your hand as you slowly pump him and he grows even harder within your grasp, becoming veiny and heavy. You stick out your tongue and give him a few licks over his tip. Jungkook sharply inhales, a gentle moan following right after when he sees you tapping his dick against your tongue.

“Fuck, babe.” He takes his cock in his own hand and continues tapping his head against your tongue. He runs his tip across your mouth too, watching with keen, clouded eyes as he creates a little mess on your face. When he’s finished, he lets you grab his cock again. You wrap your lips around his dick and start bobbing your head up and down.

“That’s right,” he says, brushing your hair behind your ear. His eyes close as you take him deeper into your mouth and his head falls back. With his palm on the back of your head, he presses your head down. A curse flees his lips as almost his entire length vanishes into your mouth.

Jungkook forces his eyes open and moans at the sight of your mouth full of his cock. He loves watching you suck his cock and you love hearing him moan for you.

You’re a little breathless when you release his cock with a lewd pop sound, and your eyes a bit teary too. You stroke his dick and dip down to suck on his balls.

“So good. Fuck – you know what to do,” he mumbles like he’s drunk and you giggle at his comment.

“You like that?”

“So fucking much.” His hand caresses your head, so soft at handling you, but the way desire pinches his brows together shows how much he is struggling to restrain himself from just shoving his entire length down your throat. “Come here.” His tatted hand glides down your shoulder, pulling you up onto his lap.

He squeezes your ass and delivers it a little smack. “You’re so hot.” He peeks over your shoulder, watching the supple flesh fill his hands completely.

“How can you claim to be an everything guy when you’re clearly an ass guy.”

Jungkook takes offense at that. “I am an everything guy!” His hands quickly move to your breasts and he kneads them through your sports bra. “I love your tits just as much.” The tight material presses them snugly together. “I love every part of you.”

You feel a gentle warmth in your cheeks, but you laugh it off. “That is so playboy behaviour of you, Jungkook.”

A frown spreads on his face, lips puckering the slightest bit. “I’m no playboy,” he grumbles as he plays with your tits. Planting little kisses along your neck as if to add sincerity to his words.

You push his arms away and try to stand up, but Jungkook quickly pulls you back onto his lap, firmly gripping your waist.

“Where are you going?” he asks, his tone almost scolding. You grasp his wrist, but he doesn’t let go, his hands remaining firmly in place.

“Condoms,” you remind him. He lets out a quiet, muffled “oh”, and his grip loosens with a reluctant sigh. “’Cause, you know. We hook up with other people.”

Jungkook scoffs at your remark.

“What?” Tilting your head slightly. “I saw you with Nayeon at the party.” You try to sound as least huffy as you can.

“And you fucked Eunwoo,” he counters.

You actually didn’t – you just made out with him. You deliberately chose a spot so Jungkook could see you from the couch, with Nayeon clinging to his side, just because you wanted him to see you.

“So?”

Jungkook levels you with a piercing gaze but remains quiet. He gives your butt a pat and nods towards the balcony door. “Go get the condom.”

When you fetch a condom from your room and return to Jungkook, you see saliva dripping from his lips and he lubes himself up as his pretty fingers wrap around him and stroke his cock. He looks unfairly hot doing the filthiest things.

“Bend over my lap,” he instructs when you hand him the condom, but he ignores it and drops it next to him.

He helps you settle onto his lap, your tummy pressed against one of his thighs and your ass in the air. Jungkook rolls the tight fabric of your shorts over your ass. He flicks your panties aside and groans at the pretty sight in front of him. Wet pussy peeks out from between your soft thighs.

His finger swipes across your pussy. “So wet for me. Can’t wait to have my dick in your pussy, huh?” He rubs your arousal over your pussy, spreading your folds to spit and make an even bigger mess. He’s having so much fun teasing and rubbing you, playing a little with your clit and dipping the tip of his finger inside you.

“Jungkook,” you whine, looking over your shoulder. “We don’t have that much time.”

“Sorry.” He circles your hole with two fingers and plunges them deep inside you. “Better, princess?” he asks after you choke on a moan, mocking you with fake sympathy.

“Yeah, better.” The words roll off your tongue in a soft whisper. Jungkook curls his fingers and your eyes roll involuntarily. “So good.” His other hand rolls the plump flesh of your ass around his palm, sometimes squeezing and leaving his fingerprints on your skin.

He’s fast in figuring out a rhythmic way to move his fingers that instantly unfurls pleasure all over your body. Jungkook knows your body all too well; he has perfected the art of knowing what you like the most.

It makes you think back to high school when you had the biggest, silliest crush on him and wanted nothing more than his attention. Who could blame you? Your older brother’s hot best friend was the captain of the school’s hockey team and practically lived at your house.

Of course, developing a crush on him was inevitable. But you never showed him that you found him cute – you treated him like your older brother’s annoying best friend who was always around. Bickering was just the nature of your friendship. Sometimes, you’d get annoyed when your dad paid more attention to Jungkook. It wasn’t because he preferred Jungkook over you, but because your dad, a high-profile NHL General Manager, supported the boys on their journey.

Every girl in school was swooning over him – they still are. And you’re not the only girl he’s paying attention to. You have to force yourself to admit that he’s hooking up with other girls too, because denying it would make this seem so serious, and the thought of things becoming serious scares you.

You’re content with how things are between you two – you’re not foolish enough to turn this simple, silly arrangement into something serious when you know it wouldn’t last. Taehyung being the main reason for that. But you don’t want Jungkook in a romantic way anyway, and he doesn’t too.

Jungkook smacks your butt, soothing the sharp hit by running his hand over your burning skin right after. “Want your little pussy to be a mess for me.”

It is, you want to say. You are. But you’re lost in the tingling pleasure that clouds your mind, leaving you with nothing but desperate need for him. Any rational thoughts vanish, replaced by an angelic, repetitive chant of his name. Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook.

And with only Jungkook your mind, you cum around his fingers, walls clenching as the rush of your high envelops you completely.

“Good girl.” His fingers lather your slick all over your pussy, marvelling at how much it glistens under the sun, watching how it sticks to the pad of his fingers in little strings. “So pretty.” He discards your shorts and panties before pulling you up and making you straddle him.

Your arms drape over his shoulders as he takes in your weary expression, a small smirk rising on his face.

“So annoying,” you mutter and his smile grows wider. You smooch his dimple and rest your forehead against his neck when Jungkook rolls the condom over his cock and you feel him lift your hips up a little to align his tip with your entrance.

He stretches you out in a familiar, delicious way. Burying himself so deep inside you as you sink down on him. Your nose brushes his jaw and a shaky moan bubbles up when you move your hips and feel the full size of his cock.

Jungkook hands stay on your hips, guiding your movements before they sneak behind you and anchor themselves in your butt and you sniff a laugh, leaning back to peer at his face.

“Why?” he questions, curiosity piqued. Even though he doesn’t know why you’re amused, a soft smile spreads on his face.

“Nothing.” Your fingers gently weave through his smooth hair, playing with the strands at the back of his head. “Just you.”

The corners of his mouth curl upward and a satisfied, cocky glint settles in his eyes.

“Take this off,” you say, tugging at the tight-fitting shirt covering his upper half. Jungkook pulls it over his head, revealing a shiny silver necklace decorating his neck. “Is this new?” You trace the delicate chain with your nail.

“Yeah,” he grins proudly. Setting your laptop aside on the coffee table, he manhandles you onto your back, pushing his cock even further into you as he sits on his knees and leans over you. “You like it?”

The necklace dangles just above your face, its silver chain shimmering and momentarily catching your attention. You pull him closer by tugging on it.

“It’s pretty. Suits you.”

The compliment conjures a boyish smile on his lips, making his face soften with a warm, endearing glow – such a sweet contrast to the way he pounds into you with practised movements, his skin covered in sweat yet again, but not for the innocent reason of keeping fit for hockey, but for the wicked reason that Jungkook can’t control his desire to fuck his best friend’s younger sister and keeps coming back to you despite having so many other options.

Jungkook drags your bra down and squeezes your breast, loving the heavy feel of your supple flesh filling his closed fist.

You throw your legs around his waist to pull him even closer to you, if that’s even possible, and Jungkook deepens his thrusts, leaving you gasping for air and holding onto his shoulders, needing something to sink your nails into.

He dips his head down and catches your pebbled and sensitive nub in his mouth, sucking and licking and making your moans whinier. Jungkook leaves tiny flecks of spit on your skin as he peppers your chest and neck with smooches.

Jungkook’s touches send waves of euphoria through you, leaving your thoughts scattered and your senses heightened by how good he makes you feel, chasing your high as you concentrate on the way he reaches your sweet spot every time his body meets yours, so you only realise Jungkook is nibbling and sucking on your neck when you feel his teeth poke you.

“Jungkook,” you scold him, yanking him by the hair.

“What?” He peers at you through his big, round doe eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Your finger grazes the spot where he was just working hard to create a little hickey. “You know I don’t like that.”

“But you look pretty with it.” His brows raise to make his point clear. “Trust me.” He smiles at you in an annoyingly charming way, giving the freshly created hickey a gentle kiss. “A little love bite.” Love bite. You don’t want to dwell on how those words make you feel.

The only thing you want to think about is how close you are to cumming.

“Don’t do that again.” You avoid his gaze and cast it downwards, where he disappears into you. “Just– just make me cum.”

He pushes your leg up, his palm firmly against the back of your thigh. His sparkly necklace catches your attention, swinging in front your face, and it's the way he looks – his face flushed with desire, eyes smouldering, and every muscle taut with intensity – that makes it impossible to look away, leaving you completely captivated as you listen to his pretty moans that sound even better than the song playing in the background.

Your fingers trail down his chest, brushing over his hard abs as a faint attempt to moan his name rolls of your tongue and you bask in the bliss that floods through you.

“Fuck, ___,” he rasps when he feels you squeezing his cock. “Gonna cum too.”

His thrusts become sloppy as Jungkook loses himself in the feeling of release. His moans are breathy and low and you hear him stutter when he finally comes undone too. The muscles on his tummy clench and you feel his grip on your thigh tighten as Jungkook moves his hips slowly now. With rosy cheeks and a look of deep satisfaction brightening his face, he leans in, and presses a fervent kiss to your lips.

You’d love to stay like this with him a bit longer, teasing and annoying each other until you’re ready for another round. But the reminder that Taehyung’s class will end soon brings you back to reality. You only ever have these secret moments for a limited time before reality comes crashing back down.

“Think we should head inside?” you ask.

“Uh-huh.” He’s busy dotting your neck with gentle kisses.

“You’d have to get off me, y’know?”

He chuckles, and you feel a ticklish flutter in your tummy.

“Just wait a minute.”

~

You step back inside once you’re both clothed again and you managed to pry Jungkook off you after he stubbornly clung to you for what felt like ages. Definitely longer than just a minute.

“We could make this exclusive, if you’d want that,” Jungkook proposes, stepping closer and you feel his heavy gaze lingering on you.

“Huh?” You’re busy with closing the balcony door, cursing the insects that always manage to invade your apartment. Taehyung’s been promising to put up the insect screen for months.

Jungkook helps you close the door with a strong push. “If the condoms annoy you, we could stop hooking up with other people.”

“Oh,” you utter, surprised.

If you’re honest with yourself, you have to admit that Jungkook has ruined you for other guys. No other boy quiet hits the same after experiencing how Jungkook treats you in bed. There is a reason why girls blush and giggle and crave his attention whenever he walks by. He’s just that good.

But being exclusive means spending even more time together, which increases the chance of Taehyung finding out.

You cringe at the thought of that.

“We’d practically be begging Taehyung to catch us like fools,” you tell him.

Just then, you hear someone type in the code and the front door opens.

Quickly, like a practised move, you put distance between you and Jungkook.

“You hungry, ___?” Taehyung calls out, emerging from the hallway. His gaze is focused on his phone as he types, until he notices you and Jungkook and stops in his tracks. “I was just about to call you for breakfast.” He lifts the bag from your favourite bakery. “What are you doing here?”

“I knew you’d invite me for breakfast.” Jungkook beams, reaching for the bag.

Taehyung’s gaze shifts to you, but you quickly brush past him. “I’m gonna take a shower. Don’t wait for me!”

“Did you come from a workout?” You hear Taehyung ask Jungkook.

Jungkook says yes, but he doesn’t tell your brother what kind of workout.

And moments like these are exactly why you want to keep things as they are with Jungkook.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

read more of this couple here <3

[ifancyharry]

what it is: YN is Harry’s personal assistant and she gets sick, but he’s playing Wembley

word count: 4k

The air is crisp and clean as YN steps out of her hotel into the streets of London, hurrying down the sidewalk as she scurries to the first pharmacy she can find. 

It’s 7.54 in the morning and she’s been awake for almost twenty-four hours. Not on purpose, obviously. And not on her boss’s orders either, despite having there been nights the team deemed important and she was required to pull an all nighter, but those were usually times of celebrations, either spent at an afterparty or waiting until midnight for Spotify to release the album everyone had been working hard on.

The air hurts her lungs as she stops to catch her breathing, the pounding behind her temples not dimming the slightest as she trespasses the sliding doors of the pharmacy, only intensifying with the bright artificial lights shining down on her from the ceiling.

She pulls her sunglasses out of the pocket of her sweatshirt and slides them over her eyes, relishing in the temporary relief washing over her sensitive eyes.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she pulls it out, grimacing at the name on the screen; it’s her boss, Harry, asking her what time she’s ready to leave for the venue. 

Once her turn comes, she quickly explains her symptoms to the pharmacist and just as quickly she pays for the medicine the pharmacist has taken out for her.

She walks out of the pharmacy and types back a short response to Harry, telling him she’s on her way to his room.

She hopes the medicine she has stuffed in her pocket will make her feel better, and she thinks as she’s making her way back to the hotel that she’ll ask Harry to stop along the way to grab a coffee, hoping it will soothe the tension behind her temples. There’s no way she can be sick when her boss is playing at Wembley for the first time.

…

Harry isn’t one to comment on other people’s appearances, his mum taught him that and it has stuck with him since he was a little kid, a sort of an unspoken rule out of kindness, and therefore he’s never asked if someone was sick because they weren’t wearing makeup or if someone had eaten a little more over the holidays.  He never considered other people’s looks something that concerned his range of business, but once he sees YN, he can’t help but wonder if she’s okay.

Her hair is tied in a messy braid, and there’s some strands falling out of it and in front of her eyes. She’s wearing a big love on tour sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants, but that isn’t particularly concerning, because he’s used to her comfy articles of clothing. 

What’s concerning is her face… and Harry already feels bad for thinking that, but she doesn’t look like herself. And Harry would know. Of course he would know, because he spends a lot of time looking at her face, especially when she’s not looking, most of the times when she’s reading a book next to him in a moment of rest or when she’s answering emails on Monday mornings. So… he knows her. He knows her skin looks paler than normal, and the circles under her eyes aren’t the same as that one time they partied all night after Harry won album of the year at the Grammys.

He wants to ask if she’s okay, because after a year of working together they have that kind of confidence, but he doesn’t want that to be the first thing he says to her, so he just smiles at her and welcomes her with a side hug and a good morning.

“Hi” she’s quick to greet back, and Harry notices even her voice sounds scruffier than usual.

“Are you ready to go?” She asks a second later.

“Yeah, yeah, the car’s down already?” He asks surprised. Sometimes it takes a while before the drivers find the hotel, and YN and Harry spend that time watching videos on youtube or talking about the day’s schedule.

YN shrugs but doesn’t say anything in response, which is weird to Harry because she’s usually really bright and energetic in the morning, and she’s really meticulous on top of everything: she never lets him wait without finding something to pass the time first.

“Let’s just stay until we don’t know for certain” he suggests.

She agrees with a nod of her head and she heads to his bed, sitting down on the end of it. It’s not uncommon for her, because she’s always in his space, and there have been times where they were forced to basically sleep in the same bed (one time YN fell asleep on his bed, and Harry was so in his song-writing-bubble he didn’t even realize until he was so tired he couldn’t keep his eyes open, so he slipped in next to her and literally passed out).

He still needs to tie his shoes, so he sits next to her and ties the laces of his ratted vans.

“How’d yeh sleep, pet?” He asks, because she’s freakishly quiet and it’s making him anxious. She’s never quiet, and with this being a stressful day already for Harry, every little thing that’s different from normal alerts him.

“Fine” she whispers, knuckling at her eyes, his question bringing back the awful memory of the night she spent tossing and turning in the scratchy hotel sheets, praying for a moment of solace every time she tried to breathe through her nose and failing.

“Me too…” he nods.

YN feels bad because she should be more engaging, but she really doesn’t have it in her to make small talk. 

Some time passes before the driver calls YN’s phone to tell her the van is here, shaking her awake. She remembers closing her eyes to rest them, and next thing she knows she’s sound asleep on her boss’s bed. She’d be a bit embarrassed if it wasn’t for how awful she feels already. 

“Crap! I fell asleep!” She exclaims once she hangs up the call. 

“Yeah” Harry says from next to her, still laying on his bed, “just fo’ like… fifteen minutes though” He’s playing on his phone, and YN pushes at his bicep, “we need to go, driver’s here”

She gets up from the bed and slips on her shoes, grabbing her work bag (it’s really a tote bag but she finds calling it work bag makes her waaaay more professional) from the floor next to the door.

“YN” she hears Harry clear his voice, and she turns around to look at him.

He’s still sitting on the bed, and he passes a hand through his hair before saying, “are yeh all right?” 

She closes her eyes in a furrow and tries not to wince when a sharp pain shoots behind her eyes with the movement, “yes, yes” she stresses, although not convinced.

“Are you sure? C’mon yeh can tell me!” 

“I’m fine, Harry” and despite her words, she sniffles, “maybe I have a cold or something…”

“You can take the day off if you need to, yeh know that” 

“No, there’s no way” she shakes her head swiftly, “no”. 

“YN…” he trails off.

“Harry, I told you I’m fine. I can work! Let’s just go, okay?” 

He sighs but does as she says, following her out of his room.

Harry isn’t a worrier. If someone from his team, or band whatsoever, says they can work, he at least presumes they’re mature enough to know the expanse of their limits. 

With YN, it’s different. He worries.

Not because he considers her immature, but she’s just… different. Ever since she started working for him as his assistant, he’s always looked out for her, despite being the one that didn’t want to hire her in the first place.

She’s young, she works a lot to prove herself to him, despite him telling her lots of times she doesn’t need to prove anything and she’s doing a great job as she is. 

She does unthinkable working hours, sometimes pulling all nighters, other times hurrying to his house in the middle of the night because he’s a little bit of a hypochondriac and she needs to check immediately what’s that new mole he has on his back (turns out it was a speck of dark chocolate that stuck onto his skin).

She’s soft and she always puts her job (him, actually) first, so he doesn’t really trust her to know her limits. If she’s sick she should rest. She should lay in bed and maybe eat a little soup and watch comfort movies tucked under the sheets, but he knows she won’t. And he knows he’s the reason behind that, because he’s playing at Wembley tonight, and she doesn’t want to cause trouble. Harry thinks she in no way could ever be described as trouble. 

And maybe, and he feels a little bit scared to admit this, he could postpone the show just by a couple hours, at least until he knows she’s resting at the hotel. but, she hurries into the van and pretends like she’s just got “a cold or something”, so Harry doesn’t question her further. 

He could just order her to take the day off, but he knows that would hurt her feelings, and he can imagine the look on her face, like a puppy being scolded, so he bites his tongue: there’s no way he could ever hurt her feelings.

…

YN has to stop a couple of times when she starts feeling dizzy on her feet. She shouldn’t run this much when she’s probably feverish, but there’s so much to do! She doesn’t trust to delegate, and not because she’s pretentious, but because she’s a control freak that needs to know how things are being handled, so she would only get much more frustrated and it would eventually just end up in her doing all the work anyway, increasing her fever undoubtedly. 

So, she chugs downs a lot of water and a lot of ibuprofen, taking deep breaths every time she starts feeling nauseous. She should probably inform Harry at least that she doesn’t feel good, so if anything were to happen he wouldn’t be too surprised, but she knows how he is; he would demand she stop immediately and go back to the hotel to rest, and she can’t allow that to happen. 

Wembley is the dream of a lifetime, and Harry sound checks every song two times before passing on to the next one. YN sits quietly in one of the seats, preparing Harry’s next instagram post on her phone. She handles all of his socials, because that’s what she was originally hired for. “A young set of eyes”, Jeff had defined her, and from then, her life had changed completely. 

Of course, she wasn’t aware she’d develop a crush on her boss at the time she was hired. She figured she’d be immune to his charm; she’s younger than him, much less experienced (in every aspect of her life), and hasn’t really seen anything yet, so she thought they’d just be too different to get along. Spending each second of the day together didn’t help, though, because it was then she got to know Harry for who he truly was, and with that, came the awareness of how many things he’d lived through and how many things he could teach her. How soft he was with her, how he would always drape a blanket over her when she accidentally fell asleep on his bed, and how he would tell her she looked pretty even after pulling an all nighter and probably looking like a raccoon. That’s just how he was.

And that’s why she values his dreams more than her health. She would never do anything that could harm him, so she shrugs off the dreadful feeling off her back and keeps working. 

…

“Hey” Harry plops down on the couch next to her, draping his arm on the backrest of the couch. If he’d stretched his fingers he could touch her shoulder, but he doesn’t just yet. He knows she still doesn’t feel good, he can see it in the way she’s hugging herself in the Love on tour hoodie she has on (probably one of his because their laundry always gets mixed up).

“Hi” she says softly, her voice much lower than it’d been the last time he saw her.

It’s closer to show time now, but he’s still not in his outfit. YN wonders if that’s the reason why he came in the dressing room in the first place.

“What are yeh doin’ hidin’ in here all alone?” 

“‘m not hiding!” She pouts, “jus’… resting” 

“Mh, yeah?” He hums, turning his head to look at her, “restin’ your ears? Are you tired of my music yet?” He jokes.

“Never!” She beams, swatting at his chest playfully.

He lets his arm fall down on her shoulder, and he tugs at her, squeezing her against his chest.

She breaths him in, and despite her stuffy nose, she can smell the faint scent of his fabric softener. Musk and lavender. It’s the same as hers.

 “I’m sorry I’ve been a bit of a pain lately…” he trails off, his mouth buried in her hair, “nothing to do with you… was jus’ nervous is all”

She squeezes his hoodie between her fingers to tug him closer, “I’m really proud of you. You’ll do great.”

“Thanks, pet” he grins, breaking away from the hug.

She sniffles and he looks between her eyes warily, “’s there anything you want to tell me before I go on stage?”

“Jus’ to kick ass” she giggles, aware that wasn’t what he was alluding at.

“Mmmh” he muses, getting up from the couch. He knew she’d be stubborn about this so he doesn’t pressure her.

“Hav’to start gettin’ ready” he clears his throat, heading towards the portable hanger YN set up in his dressing room.

He then proceeds to take off his hoodie and his tank top, leaving him shirtless before her.

She’s seen him in his underwear many times, but maybe it’s the fever, maybe it’s the crush on him that’s growing stronger everyday, but she feels her insides get warm at the sight. 

He tugs his sweats down his legs too, kicking them off his feet, and YN pretends to pick up her phone to respond to a message that definitely could have waited. 

He picks up the heart printed overalls he’d be wearing and tugs them over his legs, jumping a little in his place so they could fit over his bum.

Once he’s fully dressed, he looks over at YN and finds her looking at him already, her eyes a little droopy. He feels his heart tug in his chest at the sight. He wishes she’d let him help her. If he could he’d send her back to the hotel straight away, but he has to admit he’s selfishly relishing in the idea of having her here, looking at him perform. It makes him want to do even better than he always does. 

“All ready then” he smiles, dimples denting both his cheeks.

“Mmhh” she hums, getting up on her feet. She walks towards him and adjusts the neck of his shirt, petting it down.

“Good luck Harry” she smiles. He has to refrain himself from lowering his head down to kiss her, and he’s aware these thoughts are way too unprofessional of him, but he can’t help himself. Not when she’s looking at him like that.

“See ya after the show, pet”

…

“Harry!” Jeff pats down on his shoulders as soon as Harry runs backstage, “you just smashed it! Fuckin’ smashed it mate!”

Harry laughs with him out of politeness, but his mind is really on something else.

“Fuckin’ Wembley, Harry! Wembley’s Harry’s house!” Someone else shouts, and he thinks it’s Lloyd but he doesn’t really pay much attention to him. There’s someone missing from the crowd. YN. She’s nowhere to be found, and he’d really like to celebrate with her. She’s the one that should join in on the fun and get a little bit of praise too, because without her, harry doesn’t think he could’ve played Wembley.

Everything was going fine, and he saw her next to his mother standing in the private part of the pit, but then, when he came back after chatting with a couple of fans, she was gone. He wonders if she’s okay.

“Hey, Jeff” he clears his throat, hoping to be discreet with his tone of voice, “where’s YN?” 

“Oh…” he nods, “she wasn’t feeling proper good, so I sent her to your dressing room. I told her to get back to the hotel, but she refused to leave”

Harry nods and after a ‘thanks’ he hurries towards his dressing room, hoping to find her there.

Once he opens the door, the sight of YN sleeping on the couch crouched on herself makes his heart somersault in his chest.

“Hey, pet” he coos softly once he crouches down next to her.

He repeats the endearing greeting, and this time she stirs awake. YN brings one hand to knuckle at her eyes tiredly, and Harry frowns at the sight of her bloodshot eyes. He brings one hand to caress her cheek, but when he realizes how warm she is, he brings it up to her forehead. She’s burning hot. 

He immediately feels guilty. He should’ve sent her back to the hotel as soon as he realized she was sick, hell, he shouldn’t have let her leave his room that morning!

“Harry?” She asks timidly, her voice coming out scruffy. She gulps but flinches as the hurt in her throat doesn’t subside. 

“Yeah, ’s me” he whispers, moving the hair away from her face, “let’s go back to the hotel, okay?” 

“No Harry! The show! You can’t leave… the show! It’s wembley” she stresses, gripping his bicep tightly to refrain him from leaving her.

“Shh, shh” he shushes her, “calm down. ’s okay. The show was great. Everything was great” he coos, pressing his lips down her forehead and flinching from how hot it feels, “you did so great”.

She sniffles and: “great?” 

“Yeah” he nods, reassuring her, “let’s go now, okay?”

He helps her get up on her feet, and she stumbles a bit in her place. She grips the fabric of his overalls tightly between her fingers, and he lets her, hoping to be at least a little bit of comfort.

…

“How are you feelin’? What hurts?” He asks her once they reach his hotel room (he wanted to go back to hers, but couldn’t find her key and didn’t want to startle her too much).

“Everything” she pouts.

“I’m so sorry, darling” he sighs, ushering her inside his room.

She’s stable on her feet now, the little nap at the venue kind of helped a bit in soothing her, but still, everything hurts, and the thought of being in a hotel room and not at her own house bothers her.

She also doesn’t want Harry to look at her like this, all sweaty and red in the cheeks. She must look so embarrassing! 

“I’ll draw you a bath, how about that?” He proposes, not waiting for her response and heading directly towards the bathroom.

Now that he thinks about it, harry’s glad she’s in his room, because (being the Harry Styles) his room has a bathtub, whereas hers doesn’t. He also has lots of salt baths and bubbles to add to the water, courtesy of the hotel, and he adds everything he can to soothe her stuffed nose and make the bath as pleasing as possible.

She knocks on the door delicately, and he turns his head to look at her.

“Bath’s ready” he smiles gently, and he dips his index finger to test the temperature of the water, careful not to make it too hot to not aggravate her fever any more. 

Harry excuses himself from the bathroom, and tells her to give him a shout if she needs anything.

It’s a couple of minutes later when he hears her calling for him, her voice still lower than normal.

He knocks on the door and after he gets her consent he opens it, peeking his head inside. She’s laying in the bathtub, the water submerging her almost to her neck, and he’s aware she’s naked under, but the bubbles cover her body entirely.

“Are yeh all right?” He asks worriedly.

“Mhmh,” she hums, “jus… keep me company?” 

He’s happy she’s more responsive now, and he happily sits at her side, plopping down on the toilet seat next to the tub.

They sit in silence for a while, Harry’s aware he’s still in his fancy (and uncomfortable) show clothes, but he doesn’t care. He’s just happy to dote on her now as she’s been doing with him since she’s been hired.

“I can’t believe you played at wembley and I missed half of it” she says after a while, the water sloshing around her as she turns to look at him.

“There’s always next time” he grins at her playfully.

She throws a smile at him, “bet”.

His mouth opens in a sideway smile, his dimple indenting only one of his cheeks, and more seriously than he did before, he says “I wish you’d told me you weren’t feelin’ good”

“Didn’t want to spoil your day” she shrugs.

He wants to tell her she wouldn’t have spoiled it, that if she’d asked he would’ve postponed his show and crawled in bed with her, cuddling her until she felt better, even with the risk of getting himself sick too, he didn’t care. He would have done anything to make her feel good; but how can he tell her? How can he be honest about something like that without revealing another part of himself to her? He’s her boss. He’s older than her. And he doesn’t know if she feels the same way.

So, instead of making a complete fool out of himself, he ushers her out of the tub, passing her a towel without looking at her. He engulfs her in the bathrobe and ties it tight on her stomach, careful to have her bits covered completely by the fabric of the towel.

When he reaches his room, he takes out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers for her to sleep in, and he leave her to change in the bathroom.

While he waits for her to come out, he texts his mum if she could make that delicious soup she always prepared when he was sick, promising he wasn’t sick himself and that he’d explain in the morning. His mum answers a couple of minutes later with a thumbs up and a kissy face. 

He locks his phone and plugs it in the charger next to the bed, leaving it on the bedside table.

When YN comes out of the bathroom, she looks better already. Her cheeks aren’t as red and her eyes appear to be more rested, but, she still looks tired, and he smiles at her as he tugs the comforter down for her to slip in.

She curls up under the covers and waits for Harry to tuck her in, “comfortable?” He asks.

She nods with her cheek against the pillow, “just wish I was home” she whispers and the affirmation pains him.

“I’ve been overworking yah, haven’t I?” He sighs deeply, feeling extremely guilty. 

She’s quick to shake her head no, flinching when a sting of pain hits her temples with the movement. 

“Yes I have… you’ve been s’good” he smiles down at her.

“You’re a Wembley player now” she whispers, her eyes closing on her as she speaks, and Harry chuckles endeared at her. 

“Get some rest” he coos, but she’s already fallen in a deep sleep that will probably be tainted with a curly headed guy with green eyes and a pretty smile.

He fishes from inside her bag a tab of ibuprofen and, with a glass of water, he places them on the bedside table closer to her side, so, if she’d ever were to wake up in pain, she could take the medicine immediately. 

He takes the shortest shower he’s ever taken, quickly putting on his pajamas and brushing his teeth. Once he’s ready for bed, he slips in next to her, leaning down to press his lips on her forehead to check her temperature. She’s still warm, but the bath seemed to be of help, and probably the much needed sleep, too.

He thinks he’ll give her the rest of the month off. He owes it to her, so she can get back up on her feet and spend some time at home if she’d like. He takes a minute to wonder why hasn’t he ever given her more than a day of rest, and he doesn’t have to wonder too much, because he knows the answer already, one that is overbearing and too deep to even analyze after the day he’s had: he doesn’t want to be away from her that much time. It’s as simple as that. He’s fucked.

Read part 1 to their story here

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[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap, DocM77, 6-15-24

((In which Doc intends to do an Interior Design on his shop, but instead spends two hours ranting on the tunnel bore and an hour ranting in the shopping district about that doggone sneaky Ore Snatcher! Ren comes along eventually to help him investigate. We get our first look at Doc's Mum.))

9:30 Doc opens the stream in studio view, singing along with the end of his theme song. He greets chat and tells them he is a man suffering from Emotional Stress. There is new information about the ore snatching case that has upended everything he thought he knew, and also his mom has told him that 4k subscribers is “scrub numbers” and she won’t come on his stream for less than 5k. (He is joking about that second part.) His mom is at his house, though, and he hopes she’ll come on-stream later. He thanks subs and donos. He greets the Single Ladies in the house and congratulates a chatter who has become one of Ren’s mods.

12:00 Doc tells Chat that he read the comments on the YouTube video and learned something important. He thought that the Ore Snatcher had been frightened into returning the stolen ore blocks, but in fact the ores were provided by Skizz in order to fulfill a Mission Possible task. ((the mission: Do a good deed for a Hermit without being noticed or taking credit.)) The plot thickens! Whoever the ore snatcher is, they either still have the ore blocks or they are stuck in the mail system. Doc is a homeless swamp dweller, no one can send him things in the mail! He doesn’t want to be part of another prank war, but if he doesn’t nip this in the bud, he’s going to wind up with another exploded tunnel bore. He personally still believes it is Scar despite strong evidence to the contrary. He asks Chat who they think it is.

13:40 Chat is full of ideas. Grian is by far the top suspect, if one counts votes for “ore-stealing snails” as Grian votes. Jevin and Cub are also seen as likely suspects, with votes also coming in for Tango and Big Salmon. Some chatters also believe it’s Scar, though the consensus appears to be that Scar is still traumatized from Season 9 and would not start things again. ((This is the positions Scar has taken with other Hermits out of Doc’s hearing; he doesn’t want to get in another dust-up with Doc after last seasons hiding-in-the-toilet debacle, but he will gleefully watch while Doc fights with other Hermits.)) Chat also points out that Scar already has quite a lot of diamond ore, even after recent theft issues.

15:30 Today Doc wants to use Chat’s creative brain to decorate the front of his shop. He also wants to run the new tunnel borer a little bit because it’s new and he wants to show it off. He brews up some night vision potion so the video quality will be better for chat. A chatter comments on Doc’s sudden jump in subs this month, Doc says it is wonderful but not likely to be sustainable given that it’s large numbers of gift subs that got him this far. He welcomes chatters still trickling in, admitting that it’s very early for a stream, and gets upset because someone has harvested and replanted some of his netherwort. Everyone is stealing these days, for shame!

18:30 Doc is glum because people are stealing and because he is caught in a lawsuit now. Cleo deserved it, tbh. He talks about the Doccy fund and how Karin thinks they need a vacation. Doc never needs a vacation (until he gets sick). Upon reflection, maybe he does need to take vacations, but every time he takes one he gets sick or the weather is bad. Maybe he should just stay home. He is happy in his little room playing Minecraft all day long, but normal people like doing things. His IRL friends complain when he ghosts them, but he has so many internet friends to see! Chat is divided in their encouragement that Doc should get out more and stay inside more. Doc also admits he is very careful with his money because he doesn’t want to do sponsored streams or product placements.

22:30 A chatter asks if Hermitcraft is updating to 1.21. Doc says yes and he assumes relatively soon. Xisuma was talking about a temp upgrade to 1.20.6, but Doc doesn’t know why or if that is going to happen. He would rather just wait for 1.21 for a better and less buggy update experience. Doc says that every time his mom comes for a visit the weather turns bad, but it’s clearing up now and there’s a kids’ festival somewhere so they may go to that in a little while. He confides to Chat that when he empties a shulker and doesn’t know what to do with it, he just throws it into the swamp to despawn. Somewhere, a Hermit paying three diamonds per shulker box probably cries.

25:00 Tomato update: Doc has about 35 plants this year, 60 was too much last year. Things are going well so far despite a little cold and foggy weather. Cold and fog is okay for germination but not so much for growth. Doc claims that the number of plants is due to his unhinged neighbor who wants _lots_ of tomatoes. He jumps down to tunnel bore level and drinks a night vision potion. He is considering updating the tunnel bore to play a little tune as it travels along and explodes everything, but that is the sort of redstone that is too fiddly to do onstream. The new tunnel bore is much slimmer than the old version and easier to harvest from.

27:00 Doc begins running the tunnel bore, one explosion at a time to preserve maximum diamonds. He explains how much more efficient the new bore is than the old one. The old bore is still in position near the other Hermits, ready to unleash 80 wardens on the Ore Snatcher, whoever that is. Doc speaks wistfully on how if he’d known the Magic Mountaineers were going to blow up their mountain, he’d have hidden the 80 wardens in there for them. Chat likes this idea and points out that it’s not too late, since the Magic Mountaineers have yet to do any significant grinding in their new volcano.

29:40 Doc realizes that his night vision potion did not last nearly as long as usual, Chat points out that he neglected to extend them with redstone when he brewed them. Doc complains that he has to do everything in this stream because Chat is lazy and doesn’t warn him about anything. Chat is deeply indignant because they did warn him and he doesn’t pay attention. A chatter makes a $1 dono and asks about Doc’s tattoos. Doc asks if Chat really expects him to strip for a dollar. The chatter points out that Doc has a tattoo on his arm, but Doc would have to take off his pullover and roll up his sleeve. One dollar is not even enough for Doc to take his hat off. A tip of the hat, maybe. It would cost at least a thousand dollars to see Doc’s full arms

32:00 Back to tunnel boring. Chat says Doc would be an expensive date. He says absolutely, equal rights means he gets to expect his date to pay. After being with Karin so long, he doesn’t know how to date anymore and would probably chase off a potential partner by talking about Minecraft for hours.

33:00 A chatter asks who the ore thief is. Doc immediately ramps up into rehashing the details of the ore theft/return-but-not-really. Everything is a mess now, he doesn't know if he should be mad, sad, angry, forgiving, concerned because he killed the pig, etc. It’s very complicated. People ask why he killed the pig and he explains that he cut a lot of Cleo’s dialogue for spite because they were complaining about the length of the video. Much of that lost dialogue was Cleo pointing out that the stolen diamonds were not very valuable and the redstone was not damaged, etc, without acknowledging the terrible AGONY that comes from having one’s redstone touched. Doc decided to teach them a lesson about how it feels to have something you love messed with. Chat points out that trying to teach another grown adult a spiteful lesson is actually a really good way to land yourself in court. Doc admits he might not be entitled to teach Cleo life lessons.

35:10 Doc assesses his overall position regarding the court case as being not particularly great. He’s going to plead emotional distress and diminished capacity and hope he gets a jury trial. He’s not sure about having Joe as his lawyer either, but Joe jumped on the opportunity to practice some law. But the jury trial is his best bet because Hermits do irrational things all the time and that’s pretty much the only shot he has at getting a verdict in his favor. It’s also going to be hard to be respectful to the judge. Chat suggests buttering up the judge by calling him tall probably wouldn’t hurt either. Doc figures that if Trump is still running around free, there’s got to be hope for anyone ((notwithstanding the fact that this is a civil action and Trump has not been doing super-great lately on avoiding massive civil damage judgments)).

37:50 Doc wonders if he could apply some mafia pressure tactics to the jury. He and Chat discuss the merits of various Hermits as jurors. Ren could hang the jury, but he’s but he’s a witness in the case and that’s a conflict of interest. Doc supposes a court case is probably a better outcome for him than the water bucket to the redstone that Cleo was originally contemplating. Etho should definitely not be involved in the case because he is a chaos-loving troll who would probably be a terrible character witness. Chat points out he would also be a bad juror because he’s pretty scared of Cleo. That’s a pervasive problem for potential jurors, actually, lots of Hermits are scared of Cleo.

41:00 Doc faces the possibility that he might simply have to face justice for his pigslaughter. He feels this is unfair because he was terribly provoked, even if the provocation did not, technically, have anything to do with Cleo or her special pig. He tries to cite the “Stand Your Ground” defense, reinforcing the possibility that all of his knowledge of jurisprudence comes from television, but acknowledges that “eye for an eye” refers to repaying value for damage, not actually poking peoples’ eyes out.

43:00 A chatter sends Doc a message about the Jolly Roger as the best pride flag, mentioning it makes sense because many pirates were gay. Doc does not know if this is really a thing, but it seems like it would make sense. They did spend a lot of time out at sea where it was really a sausage-fest, so who knows? Chat has feelings about the term “sausage-fest.”

44:15 A chatter suggests that since Doc can’t deny the act of killing the pig (actus reus), his best defense is a lack of culpable mental state (mens rea). He claims that it was a crime of passion, not premeditated, he was in emotional distress, and anything else he can think of. Doc hears that Bdubs is a strict judge. He talks briefly with chat about the tunnel bore work that has been continuing all this time. He has collected 55 diamond ore blocks and some loose diamonds since the start of the stream. A chatter asks a redstone question about the borer and Doc explains how it works. A discussion begins of possible modifications to the new design. Chat talks trial strategy amongst themselves in the meantime, agreeing that if anyone can plausibly claim insanity, it is Doc.

51:45 Doc mentions that the big sub droppers from the past two weeks do not appear to be around today, so it is time for sub count numbers to return to reality. He’s still going to ask his mom to stop in and greet the stream later. She doesn’t speak English, but it’s all right. For now Doc is going to keep using the tunnel bore and think about new designs for later. Chat suggests that Doc can teach the chat to learn German very quickly to get ready.

54:00 Doc notes the time and realizes how much time he has spent mining and chatting already today. There may not be very much time for interior design today after all. A chatter suggests having Doc’s mom join the server and call it Momcraft. Doc laughs at MomandDadCraft, pointing out that they do have one mom (Stress) and lots of dads (Doc, Keralis, Joe, Impulse, Tango, Bdubs, Skizz). He thinks maybe it should be Dadcraft. Chat points out there is already a streamer called Dadcraft. “Hermitcraft is DILFcraft,” Doc says, sounding as though he is reading from Chat. No one from Chat actually said that, so this is Doc’s own extremely cursed invention. Chat predictably loses their mind. Doc likes DILFcraft better than Dadcraft. But Dad is also a good title.

56:50 Doc tells about taking Doccy to gymnastics yesterday and how loud and agile the small children are. Doccy managed to climb about 12 feet into the air, which gave Doc a little heart attack. Doccy is climbing a lot now. They fell a little way a few days ago and got a bit banged up but nothing major. Kids are like rubber balls, they bounce, within limits. Doccy was fine once they realized they were not bleeding, and went straight back to climbing. Doccy is three now and using a walking bike, but their friend has a real bike and Doccy is jealous. Doc may have to provide the bike sooner than he’d planned, but he worries at how much faster a pedal-bike is than the walking bike. The Doccy fund is currently the “Buy Doccy a Bike” fund.

1:00:00 A chatter asks if the DCP (the informal Doc art collective) is a family, does Doc have a favorite? He says he has favorite art styles but he will not actually say what they are. He accuses the chatter, who is a DCP member, of just wanted to be told that they are the favorite. They’re never going to hear it! Doc thanks a new sub and mentions that it has been a little while. Next week he will probably be back around 2k subs.

1:01 A chatter asks about Doccy’s wish for a bike. Doc says a good parent tries to get their kid things that they want, but kids are impulsive and what they want tends to change very quickly. Getting a kid everything they want is how you end up with a Tiktok-addicted preschooler who doesn’t understand any gratification that is not instant. Chat is distracted by the idea that Doccy wants blue hair. Doc says Doccy will get the bike on a special occasion, the only question is when. Currently nail polish is all the rage at Doccy’s school, and Doccy got Karin to paint every finger a different color. Recent events have made Doc just a little nervous about somebody accusing him of indoctrinating Doccy with rainbows, but they are just having fun. People are crazy.

1:05:00 A child at Doccy’s school also got a temporary tattoo and that became very important to Doccy, so Doc bought a pack of 180 temporary tattoos. Doccy put one on and lost interest, leaving Doc with a lot of temp tattoos. He needs to make sure that the bike is not a similar passing fancy. One of the “single ladies” makes a dono, and Doc reiterates that he is catering to all the single moms with his good looks. Single moms and big donors are the backbone of the Doc economy. Doc clarifies that all the chatters are single moms to him. Chat is still kind of confused, but after three weeks they are getting used to it.

1:06:00 Doc has now obtained more than 100 diamond ore blocks during the stream, plus loose diamonds. He flirts shamelessly with chat and reveals he has no ring on, but promises that Karin doesn’t mind his silly behavior. The single moms in Doc’s chat appear to be mostly pet parents. Doc has learned a lot about Twitch lately. There’s a lot more to Twitch than just turning on the camera and talking crap. A chatter makes a dono “for the girls and the gays.” Doc says he thought once about whether he might be gay, just as an academic point, but he decided he was not attracted at all to the idea of kissing and being romantic with a man. Chat, of course, immediately brings up the Dad-Kisser Doc photo. Doc laughs and shares the story of the photo, which is that the Dad in question was the father of one of Doc’s Minecrack servermates and the kiss was the culmination of an escalating series of jokes between the two of them and the Dad in question. There may have been a Twitter feud involved. Doc is with Karin, Karin identifies as a woman, and she makes Doc very happy.

1:12:11 A chatter makes reference to an old Tweet Doc made about his “size.” Doc plays dumb and agrees that yes, he is very tall. Chat wants Doc to know that they remember the yoga pants. Doc actually does not remember the yoga pants. He thanks subs and tells chat that he is mostly joking about the pushes for big sub gifts, but having kids is pretty expensive. Nobody pushes too hard for cash on Hermitcraft but some of them definitely do product placements and sponsored streams. They’re tastefully done and that’s fine for them, Doc’s not judging anyone. He just doesn’t want to do product placements himself unless he really has to. He agrees that Bdubs does great sponsorship ads. He talks about how tough it is to do merch because it’s hard to find products that are not trash and don’t cost the moon. The TCG releases are the exception that proves the rule, Doc loves those very much. Chat is of the opinion that they would like merch even if it is expensive.

1:20:30 Doc talks about the fan culture on Hermitcraft. The fans want to belong, they want to be entertained, they want to be fascinated by beautiful and interesting things. Art is very important for humans. Once survival needs are covered, then art is the next biggest thing. Chat points out that Earth without art is just Eh.

1:21:30 The European Football Championships have started. Germany is doing well and Doc is moderately excited. He understands that his majority-American audience has no idea what’s going on and everyone in chat is nerds who don’t like sports talk, but that’s fine. Hermitcraft’s biggest audience has always from the USA, followed by a fair-size following in the UK. Doc isn’t as into sports as he used to be when he was actually playing.

1:24:00 A chatter is watching Doc’s stream while weeding the garden. Doc thinks this is valid, he watches streams and videos the same as Chat does, sometimes watching and sometimes just listening. Chat points out that Doc has been using the tunnel borer for an hour, so listening is an extremely valid way to experience the stream. Doc always likes the comments on his videos that say people have anticipated his video and it starts the weekend right for them. The little nice comments and kind gestures makes a content creator’s day. Some CCs don’t read their comments at all because of the negative ones, but on Hermitcraft many of them read their comments.

1:26:00 Doc receives another donation from a “single lady.” He tells a story of back before Doccy, back in the day, when he considered what it would be like to date again in his forties. Would he be a sugar daddy or look for a sugar mommy? Chat can probably guess which one he would have chosen. In the post-Doccy world, he has decided it would be nearly impossible for anything to break up his family. So no sugar mama fantasies for Doc, unless Karin wins the lottery. He lives vicariously now through Chat. Chat is amused and mildly disturbed. Doc points out that while Hermitcraft videos tend to be very family friendly, streams tend to be just a bit more spicy. Doc and chat discuss whether “ass” is a curse word when used in “I have a lawsuit on my ass.”

1:33:00 More dono and sub thanks. Doc discusses his understanding of court procedures, which suggests he believes he needs to be indicted and charged by the Poe Poe before he can be served with a lawsuit. It remains unclear whether the upcoming trial is going to be a civil or criminal action, but it could well begin with Doc getting arrested and end with Cleo getting paid because that’s just how Hermits do. Doc offers relationship advice to all the lonely hearts and single mothers in the chat. Chat offers helpful critique. A chatter activates voice-to-text to make it chant the Single Ladies song. Doc uncovers a spawner and gets shot at by a number of skeletons. He says the best level for tunnel boring is -49.

1:37:30 Chat asks how the diamond ore counter works, it is just a little program that works with Fabric and the OBS overlay to count diamond ore in the inventory. The chatters who devised it were tired of having to count manually on all Doc’s streams. Doc talks about building the rainbow beacon, it’s not something he usually does because he’s not LGBTQ+ himself but he knows it means something to people in the community to be an ally. He lost 500 subscribers and got some angry comments but it was surprising to him that any people in the community are homophobic with LGBTQ+ players on the server who are an integral part of it. Doc doesn’t want to mix politics into Hermitcraft, but this is not a matter of politics to him. He appreciates all the members of the DCP and in the fan community who are LGBTQ+ community and wants them to feel included.

1:45:00 Doc discusses more of his ideas on tolerance, religion and politics. ((To catch all the nuance, it’s better to just watch the stream than to read someone else’s summary.)) During this time he reaches 200 diamond ore blocks collected during the stream.

1:52:30 Doc tells the story of the time at EuroDisney with some other Minecrafters when a bunch of drunk Dutch tourists showed up at the bar they were in and tried to stir up a bunch of trouble. They were using racial slurs on the bartender, throwing their weight around and trying to pick fights, etc. They started to pick on Bdubs, who was visiting Europe for the first time. Bdubs didn’t react to them, which made them mad, and one of them grabbed for him. Doc punched the guy, because nobody attacks his friends. Bdubs probably didn’t even need the help except that there were three very big guys there. Guude and Pyro were also there, but Guude was half-asleep at the bar and Pyro is tiny, so what to do? If you are Doc, the solution is “punch the biggest guy,” which worked in this situation partly because the guys were very drunk. Doc backs up Bdubs claim of being 5’10, but Dutch people tend to be tall and these guys were around 6’4. Chat is skeptical about the height claim but they like the story.

1:57:30 A chatter asks if there is a schematic available for the new tunnel bore yet. There is one on the Redstone Archive discord for a smaller version of the bore, but nothing for this size of a tunnel bore. A chatter wishes Doc happy Father’s Day (tomorrow in the US) but it’s on a different day in Germany. Doc says he’s a father every day. In Germany the tradition for Father’s Day is to go out and get drunk, but Doc does not really do that. It’s been a long time since he last drank. Chat mentions that if they are all single mothers, they do not have to care about Father’s Day either. Doc tells a story about growing up in a poor neighborhood in an apartment building with a drunk and angry neighbor who hurt his own family. It made him not very fond of alcohol and drinking.

2:00:00 A chatter asks why Doc doesn’t use freecam to check for diamonds faster than running back and forth down the tunnel bore. He says the freecam is very resource intensive on the PC, and also that use would be borderline cheaty. Plus he’s not in a hurry on this project. He and chat have a conversation on how growing up around alcohol affects people’s use of it. Doc doesn’t believe straight edge is the best way to be, but some people are more inclined to it. Still, alcohol is a dangerous drug that doesn’t get enough recognition.

2:02:00 Doc hits 250 diamond ore. He is enjoying today’s chatty and chill stream. He talks about his friend Methodzz’s family brewery and drinking that beer at Hivemind meetings. That is very good beer. He keeps trying to convince M to sell online, but they don’t have that kind of manpower. He jokes about starting up a business partnership for GOAT beer, only available in 5-liter kegs. He would do product placement streams for GOAT Beer. (There could be GOAT Champaign Strawberry Punch for the Chat, who are, as established, single ladies.) Chat has opinions on what they want to drink.

2:07:00 A chatter asks if Doc’s mom is going to appear onstream, he says it seems unlikely for now. She is busy with Doccy and they are going places today. Doc planned on doing interior designing today but he got stuck in the tunnel.

2:12:00 Doc gives Methodzz credit for getting witch farms buffed, because apparently he talked to Kingbdogs about it enough that it happened, and to a much greater extent than predicted. Now witch farms are insane. He assures a chatter that they can pretend to be a single mum, they don’t have to kill their husband to become one. Chat likes talking about murder. There are a lot of songs about women killing their husbands, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

2:14:00 Doc advocates for life with a tunnel bore. He’s had a tunnel bore since S7, life without one is not the same. He tells Chat he will be roasting a chicken later, but his mom has already done all the prep work. He likes the way he cooks it better, though. He shares his technique. He talks about his mom’s new weight loss diet.

2:18:10 Doc signs onto his test world to look at a schematic of the tunnel bore. Hivemind member TheWhiteEyes has ripped apart the tunnel bore and rebuilt it with a trigger on each end so he only has to run across the machine half as often. The design is not elegant, but it’s a good proof of concept. Doc says the best way to do the design and still make it compact would be one switch in the middle. He returns to Hermitcraft and resuming boring.

2:22:00 Doc takes his last night vision potion and says he’ll stop when it runs out. A chatter asks whether the borer is more efficient than caving, he says it’s hard to say because he hasn’t been grinding out, just talking and being chill. He jokes with chat about MILF hunting, chat says he is unhinged. Doc points out this is the most chill stream he’s had in ages. A chatter comes in and says hello, Doc scolds them jokingly for being two hours late. He only likes chatters who give up their whole social life to be in chat on time. Unless they are minors, minors are not allowed in his parasocial circles.

2:28:00He tells Chat to touch grass and immediately regrets it. Chat reminds him not to tell Scar to touch grass, he got stuck in tall grass just the other day. Doc laughs and agrees that Scar is the unhinged one. A chatter jokes they are not sure they are allowed to joke about that. Doc says he lost his inhibitions about that when Scar posted his Real Life video and showed himself falling out of his chair and getting picked back up, all set to silly music. Doc no longer feels any compunction about laughing at Scar’s mishaps. Chat thinks Doc must be the only hermit who watches other hermits’ videos. During the server tour, the other hermits were really surprised about what Doc was up to, and complained again about his videos being too long. Doc makes another borderline joke about size and laughs at himself.

2:30:00 Doc reaches 300 diamond ore mined during the stream. He runs out of potions and decides he is done. He assures Chat that the shulker boxes along the wall are not forgotten, he keeps extra potions in them. He returns to the surface and lands at his base. Apparently leaving a shulker box somewhere or dropping something is a great way to farm a bunch of comments from the concerned and observant viewers. Chat is mildly appalled by this revelation. Doc has very close to a full shulker of diamond ore blocks again, He is wealthy again now!

2:34:00 Doc says he has been watching Grian leave and rejoin the server for awhile now. He’d better go to the shop and see if anything is broken. It’s never wise to assume Grian is not up to something. He places down and mines up all his diamond ore miniblocks so they will stack with each other again. Chat agrees, with no evidence at all, that it was Grian. Doc assembles a decorating kit and heads for the shopping district. The buffer at the ghast farm is full so he kills a few of them before they get too squished.

2:37 Doc arrives at the Nether hub. Nobody has taken Scar up on his idea of making their portals are really deadly. Doc thinks it would be funny, but not being able to use the nether hub would actually be pretty inconvenient. The Hivemind has some ideas in reserve and they are eager to help if Doc ever gets into it, though. Doc arrives at the store and realizes he forgot white glass. He discusses his plans for decorating the shop interior. He freecams into the guts of the armor trim machine and all the headphone users suffer for it as he discovers another block of diamond ore has been replaced with deepslate. Doc threatens the “ore snatching bastard” that he will find them and eat their soul. Grian has been sneaking, he is SUSPICIOUS. Chat’s collective ears are still ringing. Doc says he should’ve released the wardens on “Buttcrack Mountain” because nobody truly innocent lives there. Still no sign of snails. Doc admits the block was unpowered but it’s the principle of the thing.

2:42:00 Doc admits he dropped his guard. He’d been planning to build an alarm system that would drop wardens on anyone who broke a block, but relaxed when he’d thought the diamond ore was returned. Turns out they were not returned, they were replaced by Skizzleman, and the ore snatcher was still at large! The ore snatcher is clearly selecting highly visible blocks just to taunt Doc, and it is working. Doc is literally spitting mad and it is not possible to understand everything he says. He needs to catch the Ore Snatcher in the act. Without catching them red handed, there is no proof. He needs a security system.

2:44:00 To Doc, the most annoying thing is having something break and not be 100% how it is supposed to be. Someone is trying to drive the friendly swamp creature INSANE, but why? Because it is funny, probably. He removes the top-level diamond blocks and replaces them with other blocks. He doesn’t bother collecting up the ore blocks that fall. He decides to go talk to Ren. Another pig might be killed today.

2:47:00 Doc flies to Ren’s base and looks for him. He sings “Chocolate Ren,” then looks for Ren’s coords. Ren is not far away but he doesn’t see Doc. Doc pursues him and asks him for help. Ren gets his mic turned on. Doc tells him the Ore Snatcher struck again and needs to be caught. He needs Ren to stay online 24/7 and leave Replay mod on, sticking close to Doc’s shop so he can cover it. Start a project in the shopping district to keep him close to the shop and just grind until the culprit is caught. Ren jokes that this sounds very reasonable, and that he’s like the clerk at the gas station who has to review all the security tapes every night to see if anybody tried anything. Ren says he’ll do it for 120 Euros per hour. Doc tells Chat that he needs subs immediately. A few chatters sub, and Doc offers to pay him 2.50 an hour.

2:52:00 Grian signs on and Doc tells Ren this is the prime suspect. It’s either him or Scar. Ren is not convinced, Grian has not been around much this week. More subs come in and Doc tells Ren the single ladies are going crazy for him. Ren sings the song. Scar was very convincing in talking about his innocence, but he might just be a much better liar than believed. Ren says maybe it was the person he least suspects. They talk about whether it might be XB or Joel. Doc doesn’t want it to be Joel. Joel is completely crazy, and if they get in a war, the server will be destroyed. Joel has no motive, though. Angry Bird or Offroad Guy are the only ones who poke the Goat with no motive.

2:55:00 Ren asks if maybe someone has a residual grudge from things that happened last season. Doc the Sand Baron says that’s ridiculous, who would be so petty as to hold a grudge past the end of the season? Ren laughs. He asks if there were any conflicts while setting up in the shopping district and Doc says no, apparently forgetting Big Salmon entirely for the moment. Usually when someone is pranking Doc, he at least knows why it is happening and whether he deserves it or not. But he’s been chilling lately and now he needs to destroy someone. Ren agrees it is a conundrum. Doc brings up the possibility of reassembling Team Star to get his revenge, but the viewers would hate it because it’s been done before. Chat is actually pretty enthusiastic about the idea.

2:56:00 Doc notices a chatter saying that Ren sounds sus. He considers this possibility. Ren says he has been very focused on his lore. Doc agrees that Ren doesn’t want to be distracted by prank wars. Ren says he and Doc have been through a lot together and he does not stray. He points out that, as promised, he not only didn’t kill False in Demise, he made sure she won. Doc agrees that his husband is loyal. Ren admits that this is starting to sound like a case of the gentleman protesting too much. Doc explains that with his mom around, he couldn’t monitor the server like he wanted to and that how the Ore Snatcher managed to strike. Ren asks to see the evidence.

2:58:00 Doc and Ren go back to the armor trim shop. Ren thinks the shop is looking very good already. Doc wants to hire Cleo to make it look like a cute boutique, but that’s a problem with the whole lawsuit thing. He shows Ren the missing block. Ren notices the loose blocks from earlier, but Doc doesn’t care about those. Doc is wondering now if there were two culprits because the first culprit took a block with powered redstone on it, which is very risky, while the most recent block removals were carefully chosen to be inactive blocks. Doc is now the most annoyed in the history of everything, and he has to admit that it would be really funny except it’s happening to him.

3:03:00 Ren advises Doc that the snatcher be snatching, the snatcher will not be replacing. He suggests that sometimes rich people get additcted to shoplifting from stores, taking things even they don’t need them. Doc asks if he’s suggesting that it actually was Cleo, and that Cleo is a kleptomaniac. He says no, but somebody has an addiction and they can’t go back. Doc says Cleo is definitely a kleptomaniac. Doc points out that people leave Ren alone,, then has to add “aside from the village people,” lest the world collapse under the weight of pranks he’d have to be ignoring from earlier in the season. Ren is too deep in the lore to desert his neighbors now. Doc has now talked himself into believing that the Glitcher is several people. Ren thinks that it feels so incredibly Cub that it probably can’t be Cub. They both pace the store.

3:05:00 Ren wants to know when Doc will get the shop open, because he has been waiting for weeks now for armor trim. Doc protests that he has been very distracted and it’s not his fault. Ren says he spent all the diamonds he had set aside for armor already. That’s fine, Doc tells him, it will only cost him sand. Doc also thinks it’s highly coincidental that once Scar opened a shop in the Shopping District, right in sight of Doc’s shop, that’s when things started disappearing. ((The timeline here is very hinky, but Doc is clearly on a roll.)) If he catches Scar at it, he’s going to chop off his arms. Ren is supportive.

3:06:00 Ren mentions the prank on the Death Scar and seems to be making some kind of point, but they are not in a group and he keeps falling out of range. Ren suggests that this may be an elaborate two-front prank by Jevin. Doc considers this, but he’s pretty sure Jev absolutely exhausted himself placing all that yellow concrete. He’s not sure he’s even seen Jev online since then. Ren says that Doc is sleeping when Jevin is online. Doc protests that there has to be a motive. There was a motive for the Death Emoji prank ((Scar put a creeper in Jevin’s house, in retaliation for Jevin killing a bunch of allays for his head shop)), but there’s no obvious motive for the Ore Snatcher but amusement. Also Jevin was very careful to leave no doubt as to who did the emoji prank, unlike the Ore Snatcher.

3:08:00 Doc muses about the time that he shot Scar out all the way to the world border without telling him he was doing it, then made him kill himself to get home. Surely Scar wouldn’t want revenge for that, would he? Ren suggests maybe Wels, who lives nearby and might have been a little torqued about the enormous goat-headed man statue appearing outside. Doc ruminates that telling him he wouldn’t rap battle with somebody living in a 2012 castle might have been a little harsh. Chat hasn’t seen Wels online lately, and they think Ren is blaming a lot of non-Ren Hermits. Ren thinks this seems especially targeted, to go after the redstone of someone who has made their name and reputation as a redstoner. It’s like going for a footballer’s ankles, he explains. “Or a porn star’s balls,” Doc agrees soberly.

3:09:50 Doc, who has possibly been down a dark hole too long, proceeds to explain his theory that 90% of his chat are single moms. Ren doesn’t even know where to begin parsing this information, especially since it takes him a minute to realize Doc is taking the piss. Now that the sub rush is over, Doc feels like the single ladies are abandoning him. Ren says that’s the story of his life. Doc says it’s difficult with the ladies, being middle-aged gamer nerds. Ren agrees, they had to spend the prime of their youths building their channels and didn’t have a chance to meet that special someone. Doc smugly tells him to speak for himself. Crushed, Ren admits he meant the royal “we.” Fs in the chat for Ren. Doc continues on in this vein, apparently not realizing that he’s being a little mean talking to a single guy about how impossible it is to date in their line of work.

3:13:00 Doc asks what Ren is cooking for dinner, then interrupts himself to point out that some of the single ladies in his chat are actually single ladies. Doc says maybe he should set up a dating service with chat. Ren says this sounds like the start of a 100-Hour Cringe Compilation that he does not want to be a part of. Doc imagines a “Dating Game” style game show where Ren says nothing but innuendos. He thinks that would go over well. Ren thinks it would be entertaining but he would never recover.

3:14:00 Doc’s mum finally appears on the stream! She speaks to him briefly in German and only glances at the stream, then leaves. Apparently she was reminding him that if he wants to cook that roast chicken today he’d better get started, because she is hungry. Doc tells Chat that he wanted to stream till he got to 5k subs again, but Chat was slow and how his mom has told him to get off the computer. He tells Ren to start streaming so he can raid in, but Ren has streamed five days in a row and needs a break. Ren sends Doc off to dinner, Doc reminds him to keep an eye on the shop and make sure nobody is stealing. If Ren catches the thief, he’ll get free armor trims all season long. Ren says if he catches the thief, he wants 500 subs. Doc is aghast. Taxes and children cost money! Ren takes off, Doc thanks the subs and donos, then says goodbye to the stream. He notices at the last minute that the overlay is not working right again, but has to leave. He raids into Martyn (which becomes its own whole thing) and ends his stream.

[bluemantics]

do u have any fics u think are like REALLY funny

Oh my gosh absolutely I do have humor tagged fics. When I write fanfics I try to make them funny, so when I read, I definitely look for the same! I put stars next to my faves.

If you want to check out my romcom klance fics and support me, they're here (coffee shop au) & here (hsm-ish au) /nf.

1. skin hunger by hiuythn

Canonverse | T+ | 12.5K

Keith is touch-starved to the point of stupidity. Lance helps. Lance tries to help. Lance tries.

2. the meaning of donuts by Katranga

Canonverse | T+ | 14.7K

The next few days were filled with Lance informing everyone, multiple times, of their “new” friendship. “We’re friends now, did you hear? Keith and I are friends.” Over and over, big smile, loud voice. Looking between Keith and whoever he was telling like he expected a round of applause. Or confetti. Or a parade. What he usually got was somebody making a crack about bonding moments, which prompted a tight, put-upon sigh on Keith’s end. And Lance would look at him fondly, and Keith would have to bite his cheek to distract himself from how much he wanted Lance to lean over and kiss him.

3. The Open Space of Desire by Prevalent_Masters *

Modern AU (river giuide x climber) | E | 44.8K

Keith’s doing just fine, thanks. So maybe he dropped out of college and maybe he doesn’t have what one might call “direction” in his life, but so what? He’s got a job he doesn’t hate, he’s got enough friends for his liking, he’s got Shiro, he’s got climbing on the weekends, he’s got the hookups with closeted college boys every once in awhile, and he’s fine. Happy. He doesn’t need anything to change.

That is, until he almost accidentally gets into a bar fight with an infuriatingly attractive river guide and then starts seeing said river guide everywhere and it turns out he's less infuriating but still definitely attractive, and, well—maybe Keith hasn’t been doing that fine. Maybe one thing can change.

4. Eyes So Pretty by stormie2817

Canonverse | T+ | 2.8K

When the paladins and their friends gather for a night of drinking and relaxing, Lance indulges a little too much and says some rather interesting things about a certain paladin....

5. The Loverboy Trials by PM_Writes

Canonverse | M | 20.8K

He can tell Shiro is struggling to remain collected. “And why do you think Keith is your…sex…god?” And geez, that would be so much funnier if this wasn’t so disturbing.

The representative leads them to the back of the council room where she pulls aside a large curtain. Behind it, a huge mural stretches to the ceiling.

It looks exactly like Keith.

6. you’re lucky that’s what I like by zencetera

College AU | T+ | 4K

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

7. Billy Ray is my boyfriend by VertigoReader101

Youtuber AU | G | 6K

It was moments like these that made Lance forget about his fears of telling everyone about his boyfriend. It was moments like these that he wanted to whip out his camera and share the love of his life with the world.

8. A Keithmas Carol by YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko) *

Bluemantics commentary: I adore Nikanaiko's writing more than literally any other klance author's. While I didn't laugh out loud while reading many fics, I always lose my shit for their work, SO PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.

Christmas Carol AU | T+ | 28.5K

Keith has read A Christmas Carol. Keith knows how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

This is not how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

9. suite on you by adelfie

College AU | T+ | 12K

Accident-prone Lance McClain learns that his grumpy suitemate, Keith, has one rule: to leave him alone. Lance would really like to follow that rule. Really. But his clumsiness has other plans.

10. It Never Rains on Saturday by TheLegendOfChel *

Video Game AU | T+ | 22.7K

In the magical kingdom of Altea lies an ominous tower filled with monsters. Every day, adventurers battle through the tower’s levels in a never-ending quest to slay the Demon King who lives at the very top.

Lance, a talented archer, is one such adventurer. However, Lance doesn’t want to kill the Demon King.

Lance wants to marry him.

11. Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit by eggyeggplant *

Bluemantics commentary: I'm in shock this one isn't more popular since it is one of the funniest fics I've EVER read for ANY fandom. If you read this one, please give the author extra love, comments, kudos, etc.

Youtube AU | G | 3.5K

Actor Keith Kogane appears in a YouTube video with an old friend Lance McClain in an episode of Back-to-Back Chef where they attempt to make simple carbonara but they keep getting distracted by flirting with each other.

Hope these make you laugh anon!

[shubblelive]

— SOURCE MATERIAL

summary : tommy’s plan to get you and wilbur back together doesn’t work. fortunately, you don’t need it. a quiet christmas party, joni mitchell and a little bit of alcohol works just fine.

genre : fluff with some angst peppered here and there

warnings : mentions of a breakup, alcohol/drinking (one mention of being drunk in the past, no one’s drunk in the fic), swearing, very minor panic attack, tommy being a little shithead

pairing : cc!wilbur x ex girlfriend!reader

pronouns : she/her

featuring : cc!wilbur soot, cc!tommyinnit (tommy and will are the only creators with dialogue),cc!phil + kristin (mentioned), cc!ranboo (mentioned), cc!tubbo (mentioned), cc!james marriott (mentioned), cc!aimsey (mentioned)

word count : 4.3k

note : christmas fic christmas fic christmas fic!!! december is one of my favourite times of the year and suddenly i am so inspired like i haven’t written anything in ages but december rolls around and boom here’s a 4k wilbur fic. thank you to carrie for letting me yell at her about this fic.

it wasn’t unusual for tommy to call you and ask for a ride home. he would catch an uber somewhere and sometimes he’d go to book one home and the nearest car would be over an hour away, so if his parents were busy he turned to the next best thing; his siblings. 

the internet was well aware of the younger boy’s habit of adopting older creators as family members. phil and kristin were his parents, and you and wilbur were his older siblings, and you were more than happy to give him lifts whenever you were free. 

“can you come pick me up?”

“hello to you too, tommy.” you had just ended your stream, and were processing the footage for editing to go on your youtube channel. “where are you?”

“i’m about twenty minutes from your place, i can text you the address.” tommy answered. “please?”

you were already putting on your coat. “alright, send me the address, i’ll be there soon.”

“you’re a life-saver, atom,” tommy said. you huffed at the nickname, given to you because “you barely matter” as tom had joked one afternoon a few months ago. before you could respond, he had hung up.

“shithead,” you pocketed your phone and bent down to tie your laces. your phone vibrated in your pocket, probably tommy with the address. you pulled it out one handed as you tightened your shoes. without looking, you copied the address into google maps and pressed enter, putting it on your dashboard mount. 

it should have clicked when you passed the dive bar you used to frequent. it should have clicked when you passed the corner shop.  it should have clicked when you passed the ginger stray you used to pet on your walk to the corner shop. perhaps you were in denial, but you didn’t register where you were until you were parked in front of the building.

you were nervous when you’d first moved in there. you had lived in the same shitty flat since uni, and when wilbur had tentatively asked you to to move in with him you had your doubts. not because you didn’t love will, no that was the least of your issues. you just didn’t want to step on his toes, it was his place after all. you were hesitant to bring your things in, feeling guilty when wilbur’s novels were moved to make room for your plants, when he had to install another rack to hold all your shoes, when you had come home from the bakery and found wilbur had swapped out his sheets for a set of yours. but over time, wilbur had eased you into it, and soon it was just as much your place as it was his. 

now it was just his again. it hadn’t been yours for nearly a year, and yet when you pulled into the strip of parking you had to consciously go to the ‘guests’ section. you took your phone off the dock, your knee jumping up and down as you called tommy. he didn’t answer. you texted him. and again. then you called a second time, leaving him a desperate voicemail. fifteen minutes went by and tommy hadn’t even read any of your texts, so you huffed, realising that you were going to have to physically go and retrieve tommy. 

you dug out your key card from the depths of your purse, praying that wilbur didn’t block your card. the light turned green and you breathed a sigh of relief, pushing the door open. in an attempt to make it take longer, hoping and praying that tommy would reply before you reached the third floor. you reached the top of the stairs and sighed, counting to three in your head before knocking. “tom? it’s me!” you knocked again, not wanting mr adams next door to hear your voice and come out to talk to you. he was a nice older man, but you didn’t want to be in this building for a second longer than you had to. “tommy?” you inhaled. “will?”

you heard a muffled voice, and the door swung open in front of you. “tom.” you breathed another sigh of relief. “great. let’s go, i have a video to edit.”

“wait, i have to grab my stuff.” tommy said, and then he was off, and you were alone. 

the first thing that struck you was how the place looked. it was exactly the same as when you had been there. you turned around to the end table behind the door. a few unopened letters, a small wooden bowl, and a small plant. the bowl had been your idea, weeks of wilbur coming to you with “darling, do you know where my keys are?” before you caved and bought it for him. lo and behold, his keyes were nestled inside, spotify code keychain that you had also bought him sitting face up. the plant was new, and you ran a finger over the leaf.

on the couch there was a grey woollen blanket thrown over the back, also yours. though, technically he had bought it. you were the only one who used it, complaining about the cold. as lovely as you thought will’s flat was the heating barely worked. will radiated warmth, both physically and emotionally. 

the entire flat still contained your presence. any random person wouldn’t be able to tell that you hadn’t lived there since you and wilbur broke up. 

“hey.”

you spun around, wilbur smiling sheepishly. “sorry, sorry. would it be awfully cliche if I said I didn’t mean to startle you?”

you laughed breathily. “yes. but it’s okay.”

he nodded, guilty smile still pinched across his face. “tommy’s just grabbing his shit. you know that kid, fucking menace.”

if tommy noticed how awkward it was, he didn’t say anything. you and wilbur both brightened visibly when he came through the door. watching wilbur hug tom goodbye, squeezing his shoulder gently, it hits you suddenly that you haven’t seen wilbur in nearly seven months.

you’re quiet as you drop tommy off, and he wants to apologise. wants to say sorry for making you pick him up and not telling you his phone was on the verge of dying. he wants to say he’s sorry for all those times you cancelled streams, claiming you “weren’t feeling well” when he knew you were upset about wilbur. 

but tommy also saw all those times wilbur was curled up in that grey blanket you left behind. buying plants to fill in the gaps of things you took and to give him a purpose, something that depended on him. he saw the way wilbur’s eyes brightened when he heard your voice, his shoulder’s slumping before the door shut when you left. 

how one time he’d had stood in front of a drunk wilbur, tear tracks running down his face and had to wrestle will’s phone off him to stop him from calling you. 

tommy didn’t know what had happened between you two; you were adults, he was only seventeen at the time. it felt naive of him to think you two belonged together, but he couldn’t help it. 

“thanks for driving me.” he said earnestly as he stepped out of the car. you nodded and gave him a pained smile. “i love you.”

it wasn’t a normal occurrence, saying things like that, but you softened. “i love you.” tommy brightened seeing your more genuine expression, but he could still see that your interaction with wilbur had left you upset. 

you collapsed back onto your sofa once you were home, not in the mood to edit your video anymore. 

wilbur always worked too much. it was something his viewers loved; how dedicated he was to them. but they didn’t see the sleepless nights, when you would wake up to wilbur typing frantically in his notes app, a muffled “go back to sleep, darling” when he noticed you were awake.

but then it turned to missing entire nights of sleep, coming back from streaming to find wilbur passed out on the couch, shoes still on from last night. sometimes he would talk to you about it, laying on your chest as you ran your fingers through his hair and whispering about how he didn’t want to let anyone down.

you soothed him as best as you could, but you knew that the dark circles and the endless cups of coffee would only get worse. he didn’t have the time or energy to take care of himself, let alone you. not that you needed him to take care of you, but the two of you lived together and you probably talked to the fedex person more than you did your boyfriend.

you’d only been split for eight months, but you’d been missing him for far longer.

you were putting up christmas decorations when tommy called next. stringing lights across the shelves in your office, only bothered to decorate the one room. it wasn’t like you’d be doing anything anyway. “yeah, tom?” your phone was wedged between your shoulder and ear as you tried to detangle the lights. 

“hey, me and will were streaming together and i have to get home like, now but my dad isn’t available until three,” tommy explained, and you winced at the sound of wilbur’s name. “i totally get it if you can’t, but-“

“i’ll be there, but i’m going to mcdonald’s on the way back and you are paying.” tommy laughed and you had to move the phone away from your ear, giving up on the lights for the time being. “will still has the same office right?”

“yeah you can get there alright?” he asked. “you don’t need the address?” you assured him you’d be fine, and he paused guiltily. “we may also be locked in. the door broke again.”

“jesus,” you shook your head. “yeah, alright i’ll come let you out. dickhead,” you smiled at his noise of indignation before hanging up.

this time it was worse. the last time you’d been planning on avoiding wilbur until about five minutes before you saw him. this time you had the whole drive over to think about what it would be like. his hair was longer, you’d noticed when you first saw him. you always loved it when his hair was longer but it got in his face too much and he hated the feeling. 

you’d cut his hair for him once. wilbur sitting on a chair in the kitchen of your flat (this was before you’d moved in together) while you sat on the bench behind him, swinging your legs ever so slightly as he gazed adoringly up at you.

“let me take a picture,” you’d giggled, turning to grab your phone. “you look so cute.”

“no,” he’d whined. “darling,” he’d still smiled when you prompted, and you looked softly at your screen, completely enamoured. “do not post that anywhere, can’t have anyone knowing that i simp for you.”

“dork,” you had put your phone down and ruffled his hair, some loose hairs falling out from where you’d cut. 

you pulled your car up to the pavement and went up to wilbur’s office. it was a fairly small building, and you managed to get there without anyone asking any questions. 

you reached the office and peered inside. it was dark. you opened the door and stuck your head in, but there was no one inside. “hey!” tommy said much too loudly, him and wilbur coming around the corner. your eyes flicked between the two of them, narrowing slightly.

“i thought you said the door was locked?” you asked uncertainly.

“it’s not,” tommy said simply, and he reached a hand out and shoved you through the open door, shutting it behind you. “but it will be.”

“what the fuck?” you banged on the window.

tom pushed wilbur over, but the older man just looked at him incredulously. “have you lost your mind?”

“please?” tommy asked, gesturing to where you were glaring at him.

“no!” wilbur said, hitting tommy’s arm off his shoulder. “you’re a dickhead. now let her out.”

“fine.” tommy’s shoulders slumped and he moved out of the way. wilbur rolled his eyes at tommy, saying he’d do it and then making will. his hand wrapped around the doorknob and he was halfway through an apology to you when tommy’s hand collided with his back.

wilbur stumbled toward and you both watched in horror as tommy shut the door, triumphantly locking it with a click.

“tommy you fucker!” wilbur yelled.

“now, i may have been lying about needing a lift and being locked in the office, but i wasn’t lying about needing to go home.”

“thomas if you leave i’m gonna delete your channel!” tommy actually looked nervous at wilbur’s threat. “open the door.”

tommy sighed again, finally giving up. he jiggled the doorknob and his eyes widened. “okay i would let you out but i may have broken the door.”

he backed away, both you and will yelling at him. 

you turned so your back was against the door, sitting down with your knees up to your chest. will came to sit next to you. “are you okay?”

“i just don’t like knowing there’s no way out of a room.” you said quietly. “i don’t like being trapped.”

“i know,” he said softly. “is there anything i can do besides breaking a window?”

you exhaled, smiling weakly. “can you just talk to me?” you fiddled nervously, suddenly worried about what he would think.

“of course i can.” without realising, wilbur had reached out and was dragging his thumb gently over the back of your hand. “you know that step down the street from ou-my flat? the one that you always used to trip on? they fixed it.” you didn’t seem to notice his mistake, so he kept going. “and there’s a new bar a few miles away and we’ve been trying to get them to let us play there, so we might have a new gig bar soon.”

your breathing was more even now, and he squeezed your hand gently. you squeezed back and he smiled.

you could vaguely hear tommy saying he was going to get maintenance, and wilbur shuffled. “i’m gonna see if i can jimmy it with a card. could you grab one for me please?” 

you reached over to will’s desk and grabbed a random card out of his wallet. you went to hand it to him but before he could grab it you took a closer look. “you kept this?”

over a year ago as a joke you’d bought him one of those simp cards from the arthur meme, and it had your name written underneath it. “you’re only allowed to simp for me,” you’d say as you gave it to him, making him crack up.

“yeah,” wilbur admitted, his cheeks turning warm. “guess i forgot it was there.”

he shoved it into the lock and wiggled it around until he heard a click and the door swung open. “here.” he tried to give it back to you, but you shook your head.

“you can keep it, or throw it out. whatever you want. it’s yours,” you babbled, not meeting his eyes.

wilbur wasn’t sure what came over him in the next ten seconds, but before he could stop himself he blurted out “does this mean i’m still allowed to love you?”

your gaze shot up and your eyes met wilbur’s, warm and brown, filled with uncertainty. eventually, you nodded. “always.”

wilbur wasn’t sure if that was if that was an invitation, but before he could stop himself he was wrapping his arms around you. you burrowed into his chest, breathing deeply. “did tommy really parent-trap us?”

“well,” you replied shyly. “don’t they get back together in the parent trap? not exactly accurate to the source material.”

“well we all know how important it is,” wilbur said quietly, eyes flicking down for just an instant. 

“very important,” he could feel your breath on his face.

“it’s a christmas miracle!”

“it’s gonna be if i don’t kill him,” wilbur muttered, teeth gritted as you pulled apart to find tommy. he was holding a stick, and seemed to register your confusion.

“couldn’t find maintenance, so i went outside and found this.” he said proudly. “i was helping.”

“yeah actually,” will said genuinely, holding his hand out. “give us a look.” tommy handed the stick to wilbur and was promptly hit in the face with it. “that’s for locking us in there, bastard.”

“ow.” tommy picked the stick off the ground and chucked it at wilbur, but it just bounced off the door behind him. “okay fine. i’m sorry.”

“you better be,” you stepped towards him and he flinched, clearly sure you were going to attack him like wilbur had. “come on, let’s go.”

as tommy said goodbye to wilbur, the two of you made eye contact over tom’s shoulder. he smiled at you, and you smiled back. he raised his eyebrows slightly, grin overtaking his face. you nodded almost imperceptibly. he’d call you.

he didn’t. 

it had been two weeks since you’d last spoken, and he never called you. you didn’t want to admit that it hurt you. you had spent eight months trying to get over wilbur, all that progress destroyed in an instant.

you’d never deleted his contact, not even when you first broke up. you hovered over it debating on whether to call him, before exiting out and closing your phone.

your phone stayed dark for approximately one second before it was lighting up again. you answered, “yeah, tommy?”

“so, atom, me and a few others were thinking of having a little christmas get together on the 23rd? would you want to come?” he rushed out, wanting to get the words out before you said anything.

you considered it for a second. your parents would be going on holiday. they invited you, but you always wanted to spend your christmas with wilbur. this year, you’d declined again, without really knowing the reason. it’s not like you had other plans.

“yeah, alright,” you said, and you heard tom let out a triumphant breath on the other side. “who’s coming?”

“you, phil and kristin, tubbo, james, ranboo, maybe aimsey, a few other people maybe…” he trailed off, and you frowned.

“wilbur?” you asked.

“yeah.” tommy admitted. “but there will be enough people that you can be a coward and not talk to him.”

“tommy,” you said, voice low. “don’t.”

“okay, i’m sorry. please come?”

it’s not like you had anything better to do. “i’ll be there, tommy. don’t worry.” 

the things you would do for that fucker. he could never know. god knows his head was big enough without you telling him that.

while you were quietly dreading it, tommy seemed almost giddy with excitement. so you forced a smile and acted happy about it, even after tommy abandoned you within thirty seconds of you arriving. 

you managed to strike up a conversation with ranboo, though, grateful that you knew everyone. you’d isolated yourself quite a bit after the breakup, worried that your friends would rather be friends with will.

your worries were shattered when you were  engulfed in a hug from him. they seemed really interested in your upcoming projects and you asked about his with equal fervour. 

the night was going much better than you’d expected, and it was winding down when wilbur finally approached you. joni mitchell singing through the speakers about her lover making her weak in the knees, sipping on a drink with your head resting on top of aimsey’s.

“hey,” he was quiet, words slurred more from being tired than drunk. “can we talk?”

you looked down at aimsey, who was immersed in conversation with james and tommy, so you slid off the counter and followed him down the hall. tommy’s flat was small, so the two of you found a quiet corner. your shoulder was pressed into the wall, looking at him over the rim of your glass as he fiddled with his glasses. “i’m sorry i didn’t call.”

“it’s fine.” you said stiffly.

“no, it’s not.” he pressed. “i fucked up. not just when i didn’t call. i fucked up when we were still together.”

“will,” you tried. “it’s okay. it’s the past.”

“but you’re not.” he said. “you’re not the past, not my past. at least, i don’t want you to be.” he took a shuddering breath. “i was so worried about letting people down that i fucked up, and i ruined us.”

“you didn’t ruin anything.” it came out breathy, just above a whisper and you gave him a watery smile. “definitely not us.”

you didn’t know why you were getting so emotional, maybe it was how cold and dreary it had been, maybe it was exhaustion or the alcohol. or maybe it was because wilbur had taken your hands in his and pressed them to his lips. 

“i’m so sorry, darling,” he murmured against your fingers, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “so so sorry.”

“it’s not your fault, will.” you said. “i could have done something.”

he opened his eyes and met yours, shining as you tried to fight back tears. “i’m so hard to handle, and i’m selfish and i’m sad,” he sang along to joni mitchell softly, pulling you forward to wrap your arms around him. he smelled like cinnamon, and he let you cry for as long as you needed.

you pulled away softly, looking at him as your hand ghosted over his jaw. “you didn’t lose me, will.” 

“you’re saying you think you’re the best baby i ever had?” he asked, eyes shining, and you pushed him away. 

you giggled. “how presumptuous of me.”

“you would be correct though,” he admitted, coming to pull you close again, swaying on the spot. he leant forward and pressed his lips to yours, you threading your hands into his hair.

“you have got to let me cut this,” you mumbled, and wilbur laughed against your mouth. he pressed his forehead against your shoulder, and took a shaky breath.

“i miss you.” he said. “i stopped working so much, i’ve been taking care of myself more. let me love you again?”

his voice wobbled, clearly so sure that you would reject him. he had hurt you, he knew that. will let his thumbs stroke up and down your arms and you got goosebumps even through your jumper. “you do have a permit, don’t you?”

he laughed, relief thick in his voice. “of course, darling. have my card in my wallet.”

“then i guess that’s okay.” you said, as if it didn’t matter to you all that much. “as long as you let me love you.”

“you can do whatever you want,” wilbur kissed you again. “as long as it’s with me.”

[nightttdreamers]

Night Shift | Craig x Kenny

AAA chapter two is heeeere its mostly silly fun before we actually start the fake dating part hehe pls enjoy (and check it out on ao3 for better formatting pls)

AO3 Link | 4k words | Chapter 2/?

Craig and Kenny strike a deal.

Craig has never been a morning person, but recently, it feels like every force in the world is trying to keep him in bed.

There’s the brief, near blissful moment when he’s just woken up. He can barely hear his alarm, the sleep not quite shaken off yet, unaware of what the day brings. Then, inevitably, his first thought washes over him; Tweek dumped you.

Just knowing that this is going to weigh on him all day is exhausting to think about. He doesn’t waste time wondering what he did wrong or how to best avoid the other anymore. The exhaustion comes from knowing that Tweek’s absence is just something he has to deal with now, every damn day.

Before, the habit of trying to beat his boyfriend to the first ‘good morning’ text motivated him to get up. But lately, he always spends a few minutes letting his alarm ring out, trying to delay his day for as long as possible. But, then his phone begins to buzz to life, and he knows he can’t ignore the real world any more.

On this particular morning, the urge to pull the covers over his head is particularly strong. Not only did he work late last night, but the fact that he looked like an idiot in front of Kenny is also hanging over his head. Craig groans, recalling their bizarre interaction.

“You wanna be my boyfriend?” He had asked.

Kenny looked bewildered, a mixture of surprise and concern on his face. But, before Craig could even go back on his question, Kenny replied, “Like, for money?”

Unable to bear the look on the other’s face, Craig turned away, pulling out a pack of Kenny’s usual cigarettes. “No, that would be stupid,” he stammered out. “I’m being stupid, fuck. Here, I can-” He took the magazine that Kenny had been holding and scanned it along with the Camels. Finally, he looked back up at the blonde. “Anything else?”

Kenny’s brows knit together as he looked at Craig. His lips were pursed together, shifting around his face like he was trying to talk without opening his mouth. “No,” he said after some pause, drawing out the word. “That’s it.” Kenny slid a few bills across the counter, not looking away from Craig as he took his items.

Craig thought that if tried to speak again, he would say something even worse than what he already had, so he simply nodded.

Kenny headed towards the door, shooting Craig an awkward glance back just before he left. “Take care of yourself, man.”

Craig rolled over onto his stomach, pressing his face deep into the pillow in an effort to stop his brain from playing the memory over and over again. When that didn’t work, he turned his head to the side, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and finally turning off his alarm.

He squints as the screen lights up, serving as the only light source in his room. There are two notifications from Clyde, one sent around 2AM linking a YouTube video called “BAD DAY Better Watch This 😂 1 Hour Best Funny & Fails” and another sent 20 minutes ago, asking “Tolkien had to make up a test please pLEASE can u drive me today PLEASE?????”

Craig gives the message a thumbs down and ignores the typing bubble that immediately appears (he’ll end up driving Clyde, of course, he just wants to fuck with him first). His next notification is a Snapchat message from “kmck69,” a username he doesn’t recognize until he opens the message.

kmck69: were u being serious b4

kmck69: it is a rlly stupid idea 

kmck69: but also im down if ur down

Craig reads the messages, then reads them again just to make sure he’s not hallucinating. As an added measure, he checks the user’s last story and, sure enough, it’s a selfie of Kenny holding a beer, Cartman lurking in the background, with the caption “5 screenshots and i piss in cartmans drink.”

Once Kenny had left last night, Craig had spent the last hour of his shift overthinking every detail of their interaction. He didn’t even know where his bizarre idea had come from, it had just slipped from his mouth before it was fully-formed. Hearing that Tweek was out hanging around with some goth kid infuriated him beyond words or logic. The only coherent thought Craig could form about it was that something had to change. He didn’t want to keep rotting in his bed, head swimming with thoughts about his ex. He just wanted to do something.

Asking Kenny to pretend to be his boyfriend was just the first idea that came to mind.

He hadn’t expected the other to even justify him with a response beyond their uncomfortable conversation. But, apparently, Kenny was mulling it over until nearly 4 in the morning when he texted, which is far more thought than Craig put into it.

It’s a stupid idea. He knows it is, they both know it is. But, it’s something.

spacemancraig: Yeah I’m down

He stares at his screen for a moment, quickly feeling the prickle of anxiety in his chest. It’s useless to sit and wait for a response, so he puts his phone down and pulls himself out of bed. The second he actually rises from his mattress, his phone buzzes to life, and Craig almost drops the device in how quickly he grabs it.

(Clyde) Literally I’m already ready I won’t hold you up I’ll even buy you starbucks or whatever gay shit you like

(Clyde) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

(Clyde) I’m sorry for calling you gay and starbucks gay bro PLEASE don’t make me walk

He sighs, typing out a quick response before he puts the phone down for real.

(Craig) Fine

—-----

Kenny stumbles into Chemistry three minutes after the bell, handing their teacher a crumbled-up excuse note before shuffling to his seat. It’s not uncommon for him to be late, and normally Craig would pay it no mind. However, normally he’s not anxiously waiting for a Snapchat from the other. 

Craig can’t take his eyes off him, his notes trailing off as he drowns out the voice of their teacher. He’s not sure whether Kenny’s changed his mind and is brushing him off, or genuinely just oblivious of the holes Craig is staring into the back of his head. The blonde just rummages through his bag and pulls out a few sheets of paper, not even sparing Craig a glance back. 

Somehow, in every class he finds himself staring at the back of a blonde’s head. He wonders if he might be the problem.

At first, Kenny just chews on his eraser and passes notes to Kyle sitting beside him. But, after a few minutes of this, he turns and locks eyes with Craig. Before Craig can even try to communicate something quietly across the row separating them, Kenny turns away again, and Craig wants to throw his textbook at the other’s head. Before he can, though, he feels his phone buzz to life in his pocket.

kmck69: we have 2 talk abt it obv

kmck69: do u have work 2nite

Craig rolls his eyes as he reads the messages, unsure as to why Kenny needs to use the least amount of characters possible when he texts.

spacemancraig: No

kmck69: cool well i do

kmck69: im at the bijou from 4 to 12

kmck69: if u want free popcorn tho u can come after 10

kmck69: thats when concession closes so its kinda old but tbh still good

spacemancraig: Yeah I think I’ll pass on the stale popcorn

spacemancraig: But I’ll come by

kmck69: ur loss

kmck69: word tho

kmck69: also cute username lmao

Craig’s face scrunches up as he reads the text, glancing up to look at Kenny. The blonde looks back at him, flashing a smile, and Craig just flips him off in response.

kmck69: ooh rawr ur so scary and mean

kmck69: can u leave me alone im trying 2 learn >:(

He wants to retort that Kenny was the one who started it, but typing that feels incredibly childish. Instead, Craig rolls his eyes and tucks his phone away, looking back up at the lesson.

—------

There are a lot of points today when Craig’s wondered when his life took a wrong turn. Losing sleep over a conversation with someone he has never really given a shit about, feeling like shit the entire morning waiting on a message from the aforementioned someone, and now, he’s at South Park’s lamest and only movie theater at 10PM on a Thursday. 

Maybe it wasn’t just a wrong turn, maybe it’s an eighteen-year downward spiral and he’s just getting closer to rock bottom.

The Bijou is, of course, dead. Craig only goes when they randomly decide to screen something from the Criterion Collection. He and his friends used to hang around the place more often, but then Tolkien got a home theater and every movie started being available to stream, and they didn’t have to secretly spike their slushies in the Black household. Now, the only people that frequent The Bijou are the elderly and his 15 year old sister, for some reason.

He decided to wait until 10PM to go. Not because Kenny made the stale popcorn sound appetizing, but he figured the later he went, the less likely he was to run into someone he knew. He parks his car a few blocks down the street and walks to the theater, hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. The marquee has been defaced, as per usual, and just reads “PENIS” followed by the scrambled extra letters from whatever movie title it once said. How original.

The ticket booth is empty, and when he steps inside, the theater is just as deserted as he expected it to be. Craig isn’t exactly sure of his next move as he lingers by the entrance, looking around. Just walking into the theater without a ticket to look for Kenny feels wrong, but so does just standing around awkwardly. Before he can choose, though, someone speaks behind him.

“I’m sorry, sir. We’re not selling any more tickets to our last screening- Oh, Craig?” Chirps a voice from the concession stand. Craig turns, coming face-to-face with Butters. The other boy smiles at him, far too brightly considering the two of them are not friends. The most they’ve interacted in all of high school is the rare occasion that Craig visits the Bijou, in which he affords Butters a small head nod as a greeting if they meet eyes. 

“Hey, Butters,” Craig says. “Is Kenny around?”

Almost comically, Butters cocks his head to the side. “Kenny? I didn’t know you two were friends!”

An abrupt silence comes between them, and Craig just waits for Butters to tell him where his coworker is. However, the blue-eyed boy just looks at him with a quizzical expression on his face, and Craig realizes he’s waiting for a confirmation.

“Uh, sure,” Craig mumbles after a moment. “Friends. Friendly, I guess. So, where is he?”

Butters beams at his answer, starting to wipe the countertop he’s standing behind down as he responds. “That’s so nice. He needs friends who won’t get him into trouble, you know? And he was just talking about you the other day.”

“He was?” Craig asks, but before Butters can elaborate, the two are interrupted.

“Craig!” Shouts Kenny from across the theater. Clad in a button-down, black skinny jeans, a red vest and matching bow-tie, he looks starkly different than he did this morning. The almost formal outfit doesn’t look quite right on him, and Craig realizes he’s never seen Kenny in something that wasn’t two sizes too large. When the blonde arrives at the concession stand, he’s grinning, looking at Craig so excitedly that the dark-haired boy has to turn his face away.

“It’s me, don’t cream your jeans,” Craig says, earning a little snicker from Butters. 

“I’ll sure as hell try,” Kenny replies, not sounding nearly as sarcastic as Craig. “I was starting to think you were bailing. It’s late, man.” As he speaks, he lifts himself onto the concession counter and sits, dangling his legs.

Butters frowns, putting his hands on his hips (Craig didn’t know that people did that in real life, but it suits Butters’ cartoonish mannerisms). “Aw, Kenny. I was just wiping that down.”

Kenny rolls his eyes, swinging his legs around to the other side of the counter and hopping off. “Happy?” He asks his coworker, who lets out a little puff of air in response and returns to his cleaning. Kenny shoots Craig a funny look, and Craig feels like he’s missing something. “As you can see, Butters and I take a lot of pride in this establishment.”

“That sounds awfully insincere, Kenny,” Butters grumbles, mostly to himself. “I do take pride in this establishment.”

It’s pretty weird to watch Kenny and Butters interact like this. They’re both oddballs in their social circles, especially Butters, and he can’t help but feel a bit out-of-place talking to them, especially outside of school. Craig absent-mindedly slides his phone from his pocket, checking the screen, just out of habit.

“Got somewhere to be?” Kenny asks, and when Craig looks up, the other is staring right at him, of course. He’s holding one of the soft drink cups, filled to the brim with popcorn.

Craig tucks his phone away. “You were serious about the stale popcorn?”

“It’s just gonna get thrown out,” Kenny says, popping a few kernels in his mouth. “Did you want some?”

Craig narrows his eyes in suspicion, responding with an unsure hum. One time, in the 5th grade, he saw Kenny pick up an earthworm from the sidewalk and swallow it whole. He did it, of course, for five bucks from Clyde, but Craig still doesn’t trust his taste.

Kenny rolls his eyes, opening up the machine to fill another cup. “Don’t be a princess. It’s still good. Right, Butters?” Kenny asks as he slides past his coworker, crossing to Craig’s side of the counter. 

“Oh, I don’t like to eat the popcorn much,” Butters replies, attending to the machine once Kenny’s done with it. “I gotta smell it all day, then clean the machine, scrape all the burnt pieces. I used to think movie theater popcorn was one of the yummiest smells, but now it doesn’t really get my tummy rumbling.”

Talking to Butters is weird, Craig thinks. He’s not sure if he’s ever heard anyone else use the phrase ‘tummy rumbling’ in his life. He glances at Kenny, who seems entirely unphased by the other’s weird expressions. 

“Yeah, okay,” Kenny says with a small shrug. He hands one of the popcorn cups to Craig, who takes it reluctantly. “I don’t know why I asked him.”

“Not that this isn’t thrilling,” Craig says, turning fully to Kenny. Butters is pretty engaged with his cleaning, but Craig doesn’t need him hearing any part of this conversation, so he speaks low. “Can we talk now?”

Kenny lets out an amused puff of air. “Butters, I’m gonna go do theater checks” he says, not taking his eyes away from Craig. “Craig’s coming with me.”

“You better not just be sneakin’ him into the movie for free, Kenny,” Butters grumbles, but his coworker is already walking away, waving a hand dismissively. Craig spares Butters an awkward glance before following behind Kenny.

“You do that often?” Craig asks.

“What? Sneak people in?” Kenny replies. He shoots a look back at Butters, making sure he isn’t listening before he continues. “Not all the time. I’m not really into losing this job.”

Right, Craig thinks, Kenny actually needs this job. The thought makes him a bit uncomfortable, that Kenny has to put in the hours at a shitty movie theater to pay for things he actually needs. Meanwhile, Craig works so he can get out of the house and have some spending money.

Kenny glances behind them, then slides a vape out of his pocket and hits it. He turns his head to the side, courteous enough not to blow smoke right at Craig, though not enough to pick a less obnoxious flavor.

“Sorry,” Kenny says, noticing how Craig wrinkles his nose at the scent. “Butters doesn’t like it either, probably because it’d get us in trouble.”

“So you don’t care enough about this job to not vape?” Craig asks.

This time, Kenny blows the cloud right in his face. “Be nice to me, Tucker. I let your sister sneak in here all the time.”

Craig pauses, taking a second to process what Kenny just said. “You what?”

Kenny stops too, poking his head into the closest screening room as he speaks. “Yeah, she comes by a lot. Here, this one’s empty,” he steps into the theater, holding the door open so Craig can follow. It’s a bit odd-looking inside. It’s not often he sees empty theaters with the lights on, especially not clean ones. Kenny takes a seat in a nearby row, throwing his legs over the chairs as he munches on his popcorn. “Don’t worry, no one’s gonna hear us. I cleaned this one an hour ago, and I’ve only had to kick out people who stayed after a movie like, three times, so we’re good.”

Craig takes a seat a few spots away from Kenny, giving the other room to sprawl out. “Why did they stay?”

“Sometimes they just fall asleep. One time there was a couple fucking, though. That was pretty sweet. In that row over there,” Kenny points behind him, a smirk on his face.

Craig blinks and wonders what ever happened to the Kenny he went to elementary school with, the one who rarely spoke except for the occasional dirty joke. Focus, Craig.

“Uh, so about last night,” Craig begins, straightening up a bit in his seat. Kenny mirrors him, showing that he’s listening. “I was just talking without thinking. It is a really fucking dumb idea.”

“But you showed up to talk about it,” Kenny notes.

Craig sighs. “Yeah, I did. Because I’m really fucking dumb. And I’m sick of the sympathy from my dumb friends. And you said you’d be down.” Kenny just looks at him, and Craig finds himself talking just to avoid the awkward silence. “If you’re not anymore though, that’s fine. There’s no pressure or anything.”

“I’m still down,” Kenny says with a small nod. “As long as I’m paid for my time. God, I sound like a hooker.”

“You’re not a hooker,” Craig adds a bit too quickly. “We don’t need to actually do anything, I don’t think.”

“So what do I have to do?”

Craig doesn’t answer for a moment. Apparently, this tells Kenny all he needs to know.

“Oh, so you really didn’t think this through, huh?” Kenny makes an odd clicking sound with his tongue, shaking his head. Craig thinks he’s trying to be funny, but it’s not helping how embarrassing the conversation feels. “Okay, Craig. If you want Tweak to take you back, what do you think would really get him all pissed off and hot and jealous?”

“Hang on-” Craig sits up a bit, raising a hand as Kenny speaks. “I’m not trying to get him back.”

“You’re not?”

Craig opened his mouth, but words couldn’t quite seem to come out. Was he trying to get Tweek back? There were plenty of couples in South Park that broke up only to come back together. In fact, he’d stop getting hopeful when Bebe and Clyde would split, as it was inevitable they’d be sucking face again within a week. But, he’d never thought about that possibility for him and Tweek. They didn’t break up because of a fight or mistake or something stupid. Honestly, Craig still couldn’t quite pin why they had broken up. All he knew is that Tweek didn’t want to be with him anymore. The thought of trying to get his ex to change his mind and take him back hadn’t even occurred to him, and right now, it just sounded pathetic.

“Jeez, I didn’t know that would be such a tough question,” Kenny muses, bringing Craig out of his thoughts. “It’s fine if you want him back, man. I don’t judge.”

“I don’t” Craig says, maybe a bit too assertively as it makes Kenny lean a bit further away from him. “He doesn’t want to be together, whatever. I’m not gonna try to trick him into getting back with me. I just want people to know I’m cool about it.”

Kenny makes a little high-pitched hum, his face scrunching up. He takes another hit of his vape, looking thoughtful as he does so (as thoughtful as someone hitting a neon green cylinder can). “Okay,” he says, blowing out smoke. “We’ll make everyone think we fucked.”

“What the fuck- Kenny,” Craig stammers out, shaking his head as he speaks. “How would we even, who would fall for that? What’s that even gonna do?”

Kenny leans forward again, resting his arms on the arm of the chair and once again being too close to Craig’s personal space. “No, Craig, listen. This is one of my better ideas. If you immediately start dating some dude, everyone’s gonna think it’s a rebound and people know I’m not really the dating type. It’ll be weird, someone’s gonna see through it because I’m not not gonna hook up with someone else. But- if people think we just fucked, they’ll be like, ‘Wow Craig moved on and he doesn’t give a fuck and he’s so cool,’ which is your goal, right?”

Craig stares at Kenny, wide eyed, and Kenny stares right back. It’s impossible to focus on what the blonde is saying with that eager look in his eyes, like some kind of dog waiting for a treat. However, when Craig actually does start to process the idea, he realizes Kenny’s making some good points. Kenny raises his brows, still waiting for a reply. Craig lets out a sigh, looking up at the theater ceiling. “Fuck. That’s- Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

“I know!” Kenny starts drumming his fingers along the side of the seat, and Craig can tell he’s beaming without even looking at him. “I want sixty-five.”

Now, Craig looks back down at Kenny, who is making a face like that wasn’t a ridiculous thing to say. “Bucks? You want sixty-five dollars?”

“Cash,” Kenny adds. The two just stare at each other for a moment because every time Craig looks at Kenny, apparently Kenny’s already looking at him. 

“I’ll give you forty,” Craig offers, hoping his tone sounds firm enough to stop any further negotiation.”

“Deal,” Kenny finally leans back in his seat and Craig feels like he can actually breathe again. If they’re gonna do this, he needs to talk with Kenny about personal space. And maybe that god awful vape flavor too. Shit, they’re actually doing it. 

Craig nods before his brain fully catches up, like he’s convincing himself this is real life. “Okay, yeah. Deal. Wow.”

Kenny glances over at him. “You good? You can’t back out now. We said deal.”

Craig is still nodding, rubbing his palms on his thighs. “We’re good. I just didn’t really think you’d say yes. I don’t, uh, have much of a plan.”

Kenny puts his hand on Craig’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, dude. ‘Cause I already have a plan.”

“My head’s not-” he starts, then lets out a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What’s the plan?”

Kenny stands, looking back down at Craig with a grin. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to get people talking about my sex life. And lucky for you, I have just the party to get this rumor started.” Kenny rubs his hand on a chair, then sticks it out for Craig. “You trust me, dude?”

Looking up at the blonde, the sheer dumb confidence on his face, his stupid uniform bowtie, there’s no way Craig should feel at ease. But, he has forty bucks and his reputation on the line, and Kenny might just be the best shot he has at escaping his current hellhole situation. Craig stands, gripping Kenny’s hand.

“Fuck it,” he says. “I trust you, let’s do this.”

[cannibaldyke]

Crimson Peak Limited 4k UHD

don’t usually do long posts, but wanted to show off all the stuff that came in the new Crimson Peak release from Arrow! they also did a release in 2019, so i guess they still have the rights.

specs-wise, it obviously looks gorgeous, though there’s not as drastic of an increase in quality from the 2019 Bluray as there might be with other films, since Crimson Peak wasn’t originally filmed in 4k, so it’s an upscale rather than “true 4k”. not a slight against it at all, Crimson Peak is already an incredible looking film that obviously looks beautiful in 4k. the audio is also largely the same, which, again, is fine because the movie already sounds great. but if you’re just upgrading for technical specs then that’s important to know. (got all this info from Jeff Rauseo on Youtube, ty Jeff)

but a lot of people are probably buying for the packaging/inclusions! so i took a bunch of pictures. images look a bit more saturated than they do in real life bc i’m compensating for my shitty camera lol.

the casing is really nice, it has a spine to resemble a book, when you open it up you get these cool splash pages. you pull on the ribbon to remove the second case with the booklet in it (not the disc, which i thought would be in there).

from there, we have four double-sided photo cards showing Edith, Thomas, Lucille, and Alan. the front side is the classic promotional art, i think the back side are new renders? i might be wrong, not sure.

also included is a double-sided mini-poster, again with the front being one of the original theatrical posters, and the back being what i think is a new render. (if anyone wants exact size i can measure it.)

then we have the disc itself! not much to say, some nice art that matches the case. it doesn’t come with a DVD/HD Bluray, so if you have the 2019 Bluray, there’s a reason to hang onto it even if you get this new release.

lastly, the booklet! i LOVE the cover on this thing. i sort of wish one of the sides of the mini-poster was done in a style like the casing/disc/booklet cover, because it looks sick as hell, but i’m probably just going to use the theatrical poster side when/if i hang it.

included a picture of the table of contents! has some interviews and essays, pretty standard for these nicer Arrow releases (i also have the Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator boxsets).

can’t include anymore pictures in this post, but i can take some pictures of the inside of the booklet if anyone’s interested!

overall, i am obsessed with this release. Crimson Peak absolutely deserves this kind of technical upgrade, and the care that went into this release is obvious. if you’re a physical media collector, or just a big fan of the movie, i would definitely recommend picking this up!

[teashoptiramisu]

Fluffy fanfic rec list

On one of my Discord servers people were talking about how people seem more likely to recommend angsty fic, so I decided to put together a fluff rec list, just for fun! This is gonna be a variety of fandoms, wordcount length, genres, etc. -- the common factor is I like ‘em and they turned up when I search “fluff” in my bookmarks. I’ll point out if any are nsfw

ATLA

see your son rising at last by aloneintherain --  ATLA -- 6.5k words -- Iroh & Zuko 5+1 things fic  

North by ryfkah -- ATLA -- 300 words -- short & sweet Appa POV fic

definitely not suspicious at all in the least by presumenothing -- ATLA -- 1k words -- post-canon Gaang shenanigans

All The Gentle Creatures by Haicrescendo -- ATLA -- 10k words -- animals love Zuko, he’s basically a Disney Princess

Yuri!!! On Ice

see you next level by verity -- YoI -- 1.5k words -- Yuuri, Viktor & Phichit get drunk & watch TV, Yuuri & Viktor continue to be the most adorably sappy couple

Friendship!!! Is Magic by afrai -- YoI & OHSHC -- 10k words -- Yuuri & Haurhi meet at a conference and become friends. Viktor & Tamaki make fools of themselves (but what else is new)

Howl’s Moving Castle (mostly bookverse)

Second Time Lucky by labellementeuse -- HMC -- 5.5k words -- Howl & Sophie plan their wedding (lol i spelled that “weeding” on the first try... also accurate). As you might expect for these two it doesn’t go without some hiccups.

Could it be magic? by SpiritedYoungLady -- HMC -- 500 words -- Howls comes back from night with the rugby club, and Sophie is unamused

Fulllmetal Alchemist (mostly bhood/manga)

All That Describes a Joyful Heart by anthrop  -- FMA -- 3k words -- Hohenheim & Trisha cook together during a winter storm & they are simply TOO ADORABLE. Features some Xerxian cultural headcanons inspired by Nowruz (Persian New Year) traditions!

And They Were ROOMMATES by Turbulent_Muse -- FMA -- 30k words -- Modern AU in which college student!Ling moves into a haunted house, but since the rent is too good to pass up, he decides to try and befriend the demon. Greedling friendship & adventure fic.

Science for People Who Hate Science by Tierfal -- FMA -- 66k words -- Royed Modern AU, but even if you dislike that ship you might want to give this one a chance; it’s really more of an origfic about two characters losely inspired by Roy & Ed. They run a goofy educational youtube channel and are two dorks in love. Al shows up to make fun of them sometimes. It’s a good time!

The Sleeping Horror of Whiskerford by Eltea -- FMA -- 3.5k words -- another modern AU, in which the gang (Ed, Al, Winry, Riza, Roy, Hughes) plays D&D. Worth it for Ed’s character sheet alone, but overall just a hilarious & fun time.

A Clowder of Cats by Batsutousai -- FMA -- 4k words -- post-canon (a more-or-less canon universe fic for once!), Al settles down and adopts a bunch of cats (AS HE DESERVES)

Teen Wolf

the butt is a gift by lazulisong -- Teen Wolf -- 1.5k words -- Stiles is pinned to the couch by cats. I think this is part of a larger AU but tbh I don’t care: Stiles, cats, relatable dilemmas, what more do I need?

When the Bough Breaks by The Feels Whale (miscellea) -- Teen Wolf -- 12k words -- A bit of a weird one, but sometimes I like my TW fic weird. post-canon-ish/canon-divergence with endgame Sterek; Stiles is on the outs with Derek’s pack until they learn that he’s adopted a baby, and then they’re suddenly all over to dote on her. I actually really mostly liked this for Stiles’ single parent struggles and (platonic) relationship with the baby’s birth mother, the werewolf stuff & romance was cute but mostly incidental.

Misc fandoms

it's a new craze by attheborder -- Good Omens -- 5k words -- Crowley & Aziraphale start an advice podcast

Hot Springs and New Beginnings by CorundumBleu -- Hollow Knight -- 3k words -- in a good ending universe, Quirrel, the Knight, and The Last Stag relax at a hot springs and discuss hopes for the future. I recommend looking through CorundumBleu’s other HK fics as well -- there’s a couple other good fluff fics in there and some most angsty but still amazing stories! (I’m biased: CB is my sister & I helped edit these, but still, I think they’re great!)

Sufficient by atheilen -- The Goblin Emperor -- 2k words -- deaged!Maia; in which everyone and particularly Beshelar shows how much they care for and cherish Maia.

Sick Day by avg (AnxiousEspada) -- The Murderbot Diaries -- 4k words -- Overse & Arada are sick; Ratthi and later Murderbot visit to help them out. “To everyone’s surprise, a feverish Overse is SecUnit approved humor-fuel.” (P.S. if you like this fic consider checking out my sequel to it!)

Thrilling Night! Romantic Adventure at the Video Rental Store! by Masu_Trout --  Undertale -- 2.5k words -- wonderful Outsider POV of an employee at a video rental store who gets the admittedly uncertain priviledge of helping Alphys and Undyne pick out a movie to rent for their date night. I’m still not over the movie they end up picking, OMG.

Gonna add a reblog with BNHA, Natsuyu, Gravity Falls, and maybe some HP recs tomorrow.

Also, if you like these fics and know of more like them, feel free to let me know! I’m always taking fic recs (I’m slow to get around to them but I WILL save your recs for later) :P

[cleostoohot]

Hi! I I know you don’t care about the drama but I just hate the misinformation being spread rn. People on Twitter will take whatever their mutuals say and run with it and even though I’m not a sammy fan I still can acknowledge what happened to her on twt wasn’t right. So a month back when everyone was worshiping sammy on twt she made a coaching service based around the 10k challenge where she would just make some affs for one desire instead of several like her regular coaching she wasn’t charming people to do the challenge it was just loosely based around it via the name which she changed. She also tagged td and viper in the video she made about the 10k challenge but after td ran to twt she removed td from the description even though td was mentioned in the video itself. They claimed she stole and tried to profit off the challenge that td and viper made bc td is black but it was only the 10k challenge in name the coaching was literally the same thing she was doing for every package expect it was focused on one desire instead of several. Then they started calling her transphobic bc she called someone with she/they pronouns in their bio “miss” like it was a witch hunt they even made Twitter circles to discredit her, fat shame her, they even posted pics of her with her family to bash her and they started saying she was a scammer and paying for coaching is dumb etc. It was really bad and messy and people sent her death threats and after that td and her friend started saying the death threat was fake with their “proof” which was saying their twt doesn’t look like Sammy’s but sammy showed her twt dms and proved that it was a real death threat. Sammy tried letting it go but the whole loa twt community kept bashing sammy body shaming her saying if she’s such a master manifester why can’t she manifest being skinny etc. whew this was lowkey really triggering for me bc I had been recovering from my ED so that was whewwww a moment to say the least. Anyways Sammy told her followers to not engage in the drama especially bc td was a minor etc but there’s two annoying bitches on twt that be under every sammy hate comment defending her they’re hella dumb and annoying lmfaooo but I digress. The situation ended but loa twt kept making sammy into a joke etc and there was hate accounts created about sammy one is called “caliyah Meeks” and all they do is shit on sammy. Then a YouTuber made a video basically shitting on sammy presumably for clout bc that vid got 4k views and her other videos Barely reached 100 views. This account was in communication with the sammy hate account on twt and that account used the aiva situation to bash sammy and use it as a reason to say she’s awful yet that same person couldn’t even tell their 30+ thousand followers to affirm for Aiva and all the other black content creators impacted?? That shit is madddd weird! So tbh I can understand why she feels that it’s a setup bc they kept their foot on her neck even after she left twt not to mention this behavior from the hackers is something she doesn’t condone and has never encouraged and tbh it came as a shock something like this would happen bc sure ppl would defend her when they were being vicious to her on twt but for her followers to try and take down other channels??? And unprovoked at that???? It’s just out of nowhere and I’m sure she just like many others are surprised with the mermaid gang hacker cult that’s happening bc it was so random like even in the fb group everyone is chill af yk? All ppl do is just manifest and give out tips and success stories no drama at all. She actually did address the situation in her YouTube channel community tab and she’s trying to find out the rest of the impacted channels to try and get their subscribers back and told the mermaid gang to affirm that the people who did this gets exposed and that the people get their channels back so if you or anyone else know of the other channels please spread the word so we can help them gain subscribers!!!!! This situation is serious and we need to affirm at least. Sorry this is so long.

ima put that on my reading log for english class now worries 🫶🏽 (it’s a jokey joke)

but no i never see bullying or especially death threats as acceptable like it’s so childish. imagine telling someone to harm themselves or just saying harsh things to them when they haven’t even said anything like that to u. that’s something that a lot of people need to work on.

[home-appliances-guide]

TVs in India: 50-65 inch 4K Smart TV vs QLED vs Android TV

When it comes to choosing a new TV, there are many factors to consider. Screen size, resolution, display technology, and smart features are all important to think about. But with so many different TV types on the market, it can be difficult to know which one is right for you.

Thus, In this blog post, we will compare popular TV types: 50 inch 4K Android TV, 65/ 55 inch 4K Smart TV, and 65 inch QLED TV. We will look at the pros and cons of each type of TV to help you decide which one is the best fit for your needs and budget. You will get a comparison of resolution, size, and technology in one go!

Without further ado, let’s get started!

50 Inch 4K Android TV

Do you want a large-screen TV with smart features at an affordable price? Not only you’ll get a TV suitable for big rooms, but the added advantage of Android OS is also there. With the OS, you will get a variety of pre-installed apps, including streaming services like Netflix and Hulu, as well as Google Play Store access to download even more apps.

Why Should You Buy: People with a tight budget can find a great TV as it comes with an affordable price, large screen size, smart features with a variety of pre-installed apps, and Google Play Store access for even more apps.

Why It Might Not Fit You: It doesn’t offer a high-quality picture quality as good as QLED TVs. Also, some standard TVs may not have all of the latest smart features.

55 Inch 4K Smart TV VS 65 Inch 4K Smart TV

If you want a large screen size, smart features, and good picture quality without breaking the bank, the A 55 inch 4K Smart TV is a good middle-ground option. Given that it is a smart TV, it obviously comes with a variety of pre-installed apps and streaming services like Netflix and Hulu, as well as other apps like YouTube and social media.

However, a 65 inch 4K Smart TV is better suited if you want a good option for large spaces, such as halls, cafeterias etc. Apart from their huge size, they have smart features, and good picture quality which can compete with a QLED TV. 65 inch 4K Smart TVs offer a good balance of price, performance, and features.

Why Buy: This range of smart TVs offers a good balance of price, screen size, picture quality, and smart features. Besides, it also comes with a variety of pre-installed apps. You can download the rest from the app store for free.

Why It Might Not Fit You: All smart TVs, especially in the starting range, may not have all of the latest smart features. Besides, picture quality may not be as good as a QLED TV.

65 Inch QLED TV Price & Features

It is so far the best option for those who want the best possible picture quality. QLED TVs use quantum dot technology to produce more vibrant and realistic colours than traditional LCD TVs. Due to this approach, the QLED TVs offer a wider viewing angle, which lets you enjoy a great picture from anywhere in the room.

Why Buy: It is one of the excellent picture quality providers as a TV and offers a wide viewing angle, which isn’t easy to find elsewhere. Of course, you have the added advantage of smart features with a variety of pre-installed apps.

Why It Might Not Fit You: 65 Inch QLED TV price is on the higher side (starting at Rs 55K) due to its latest technology. Also, the starter range of these TVs may not have all of the latest smart features.

Conclusion

So, which type of TV is right for you? It depends on your room size, need for quality, want for features, and the budget you are willing to spend. If you're looking for a large-screen TV with smart features at an affordable price, a 50 inch 4K Android TV or a 55 inch 4K Smart TV are good options.

However, if you want the best possible picture quality, a 65-inch QLED TV is the way to go. And if you're looking for a good balance of price, performance, and features, a 65 inch 4K Smart TV is a good choice. In this case, the budget should not be a constraint.

No matter which type of TV you choose, always compare prices first from different online retailers, and read reviews before you buy.

[blogging0202]

Quick and Easy Guide to Downloading Videos from YouTube

Introduction

YouTube is one of the most popular video streaming websites, and it’s a great way to find new content and entertainment. But what if you wanted to watch or share the video offline? Downloading videos from YouTube doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. This quick and easy guide will show you how to download videos from YouTube with just a few clicks of your mouse. Whether you’re looking for a way to save your favorite videos for later or wanting to share them with friends, this guide has everything you need to get started.

How to Download Videos from YouTube

There are a number of ways to download videos from YouTube. The quickest and easiest way is to use an online video downloader like SaveFrom.net. Simply go to the SaveFrom.net website and enter the URL of the YouTube video you want to download in the field at the top of the page. Then click on the "Download" button. You'll be given a choice of different video quality options to choose from. Select the one you want and then click on the "Download" button again. Your video will start downloading and will be saved in your default downloads folder.

The Different Types of YouTube Videos

-There are a few different types of YouTube videos: -Videos that are uploaded by individuals -Videos that are uploaded by businesses -Videos that are uploaded by media outlets -And finally, videos that are live streamed. Individuals who upload videos to YouTube can be anyone from a teenager filming themselves skateboarding, to a mother cooking her family dinner. These videos offer a more personal look into someone's life, and can be incredibly heartwarming or funny. Businesses use YouTube as a way to market their products or services through video content. These videos range from "how-to" guides to commercials, and everything in between. Media outlets will also post videos on their YouTube channels - usually clips from television shows or news stories. And lastly, there are live streamers who use YouTube to broadcast themselves live, in real time. This type of content is usually found on gaming channels, but has become increasingly popular with vloggers (video bloggers) as well.

Why You Should Download Videos from YouTube

If you're like most people, you probably watch a lot of videos on YouTube. And if you're like most people, you probably wish you could download those videos so you could watch them offline or on another device. Luckily, there are a few different ways to do this. In this quick and easy guide, we'll show you how to download videos from YouTube in a few different ways. One of the best things about downloading videos from YouTube is that you can watch them offline. This is great for when you're on a plane, in a car, or anywhere else where you might not have an internet connection. Another reason to download videos from YouTube is that you can watch them on any device. So if you want to watch a video on your TV, phone, or tablet, you can do so without having to worry about internet connectivity. Finally, downloading videos from YouTube can be a great way to backup your favorite videos in case they're ever deleted from the site. So what are you waiting for? Start downloading videos from YouTube today!

Conclusion

Downloading videos from YouTube can be a great way to save content for offline viewing or just to watch over and over again. With this quick and easy guide, you should now have all the tools you need to download videos from YouTube in no time. Whether you're downloading music videos, tutorials, or even movies, using tools like 4K Video Downloader can help make it fast and simple. So go ahead and start downloading!

For More Info:-

how to download youtube videos to a mac

[barbarewjohnson]

Best Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10

There are many software programs available for video creation, but not all of them are free. Here is a list of the best free video creation software for Windows 10.

1. Movie Maker: This program was previously included with Windows, but is now available as a free download from the Microsoft Store. It’s a basic video editor that includes all the essential features, such as timeline editing, transitions, and effects.

2. VSDC Free Video Editor: This powerful video editor includes more advanced features than Movie Maker, such as audio editing and green screen support. However, it can be more difficult to use for beginners.

3. OpenShot: This open-source program is available for free on Windows, Mac, and Linux computers. It has a user-friendly interface and supports 4K resolution videos.

The Best Free Video Creation Software For Windows 10

1. Windows Movie Maker was a free video editing software by Microsoft. It was included in some versions of the Windows operating system and could be downloaded for free from the Windows Store. It was discontinued in 2017, but you can still find it online if you look hard enough.

2. If you’re looking for a more modern option, try HitFilm Express. It’s a bit more complex than Movie Maker, but it’s also much more powerful. And best of all, it’s completely free to use!

3. For something even simpler, check out WeVideo Video Editor. It doesn’t have as many features as the other two options, but it’s perfect for basic video editing and is very easy to use. Plus, it integrates with Google Drive so you can easily save your videos online.

How To Create Videos For Free On Windows 10

If you’re looking to create videos for free on Windows 10, there are a few things you’ll need. First, you’ll need some sort of video editing software. This can be something as simple as the built-in Windows Movie Maker or a more complex program like Adobe Premiere Pro. Second, you’ll need a way to record your video. This can be done with a webcam, smartphone, or even just a screen recording program like Camtasia. Finally, you’ll need somewhere to host your finished video so people can watch it online. YouTube is a popular option, but there are also other sites like Vimeo and Dailymotion that offer free video hosting.

Once you have all of these things set up, creating your video is simply a matter of recording whatever footage you want and then editing it together into a final product using your chosen software. If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of tutorials and resources online that can help walk you through the process step by step. And if you get stuck at any point, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family who might be able to lend a hand. With some time and effort, anyone can create great videos for free on Windows 10!

Top 5 Free Video Creators For Windows 10

Assuming you would like a blog titled “Top 5 Free Video Creators for Windows 10”:

“With so many options for video creation software, it can be hard to know which one to choose- especially if you’re on a budget. Here are the top five free video creators for Windows 10, all of which are great choices for anyone looking to create videos without spending a lot of money.

1. DaVinci Resolve 16- This software is known for its professional-grade features and advanced tools, making it a great choice for anyone who wants to create high-quality videos. It also has a very user-friendly interface, which makes it perfect for those who are new to video creation.

2. HitFilm Express- Another great option for those looking to create professional-grade videos, HitFilm Express offers a wide range of features and tools that allow users to get creative with their projects. It also has excellent customer support in case you need any help along the way.

3. Filmora9- If you’re looking for an easy-to-use yet still powerful video creator, Filmora9 is a great option. It comes with everything you need to create stunning videos, including templates, effects, and more. And best of all, it’s free!

4 VideoPad Video Editor -This software is perfect for beginners as it is very simple and straightforward to use yet still allows users to make beautifulvideos . With its wide range of features , this software truly has somethingfor everyone . Plus , at $ 0 cost , what doyou haveto lose ?

5 Lightworks – Last but not least , Lightworks is another excellent choice forboth beginnerand experienced videographers

Simple & Free Ways To Create Videos In Windows 10

1. Windows 10 has a built-in tool for creating videos, called the Photos app. To use it, open the Photos app and click “Create video” in the top-right corner. Choose the photos and videos you want to include in your video, arrange them in the order you want them to appear, add transitions and effects, and then click “Export” to save your video.

2. There are also many free third-party video creation tools available for Windows 10. One of the most popular is Movie Maker 2

The Easiest Way To Make Videos – Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10

Assuming you would like a blog titled “The Easiest Way To Make Videos – Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10”:

Making videos is easier than ever with free video creation software for Windows 10. This type of software makes it easy to create and edit videos, whether you’re a beginner or a more experienced user. With so many features and options available, you can create professional-looking videos without spending a lot of money on equipment or editing software.

There are many different types of free video creation software for Windows 10, so it’s important to choose one that meets your needs. If you’re looking for something simple to use, try Movie Maker 10. This program is designed for beginners and offers a variety of templates and effects to help you create beautiful videos. If you need more advanced features, such as the ability to add captions or overlay images, try Adobe Premiere Elements. This program is packed with powerful tools but is still easy to use thanks to its intuitive interface.

No matter what your budget or skill level, there’s a free video creation software for Windows 10 that’s right for you. So get started today and see how easy it is to make stunning videos!

Conclusion

If you’re looking for the best free video creation software for Windows 10, you’ve come to the right place. Here we’ll show you some of the best options available, all of which are completely free to use.

So what are you waiting for? Get started creating awesome videos today!

The post Best Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10 appeared first on SwiftCreator.com.

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[christophermraerdon]

Best Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10

There are many software programs available for video creation, but not all of them are free. Here is a list of the best free video creation software for Windows 10.

1. Movie Maker: This program was previously included with Windows, but is now available as a free download from the Microsoft Store. It’s a basic video editor that includes all the essential features, such as timeline editing, transitions, and effects.

2. VSDC Free Video Editor: This powerful video editor includes more advanced features than Movie Maker, such as audio editing and green screen support. However, it can be more difficult to use for beginners.

3. OpenShot: This open-source program is available for free on Windows, Mac, and Linux computers. It has a user-friendly interface and supports 4K resolution videos.

The Best Free Video Creation Software For Windows 10

1. Windows Movie Maker was a free video editing software by Microsoft. It was included in some versions of the Windows operating system and could be downloaded for free from the Windows Store. It was discontinued in 2017, but you can still find it online if you look hard enough.

2. If you’re looking for a more modern option, try HitFilm Express. It’s a bit more complex than Movie Maker, but it’s also much more powerful. And best of all, it’s completely free to use!

3. For something even simpler, check out WeVideo Video Editor. It doesn’t have as many features as the other two options, but it’s perfect for basic video editing and is very easy to use. Plus, it integrates with Google Drive so you can easily save your videos online.

How To Create Videos For Free On Windows 10

If you’re looking to create videos for free on Windows 10, there are a few things you’ll need. First, you’ll need some sort of video editing software. This can be something as simple as the built-in Windows Movie Maker or a more complex program like Adobe Premiere Pro. Second, you’ll need a way to record your video. This can be done with a webcam, smartphone, or even just a screen recording program like Camtasia. Finally, you’ll need somewhere to host your finished video so people can watch it online. YouTube is a popular option, but there are also other sites like Vimeo and Dailymotion that offer free video hosting.

Once you have all of these things set up, creating your video is simply a matter of recording whatever footage you want and then editing it together into a final product using your chosen software. If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of tutorials and resources online that can help walk you through the process step by step. And if you get stuck at any point, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family who might be able to lend a hand. With some time and effort, anyone can create great videos for free on Windows 10!

Top 5 Free Video Creators For Windows 10

Assuming you would like a blog titled “Top 5 Free Video Creators for Windows 10”:

“With so many options for video creation software, it can be hard to know which one to choose- especially if you’re on a budget. Here are the top five free video creators for Windows 10, all of which are great choices for anyone looking to create videos without spending a lot of money.

1. DaVinci Resolve 16- This software is known for its professional-grade features and advanced tools, making it a great choice for anyone who wants to create high-quality videos. It also has a very user-friendly interface, which makes it perfect for those who are new to video creation.

2. HitFilm Express- Another great option for those looking to create professional-grade videos, HitFilm Express offers a wide range of features and tools that allow users to get creative with their projects. It also has excellent customer support in case you need any help along the way.

3. Filmora9- If you’re looking for an easy-to-use yet still powerful video creator, Filmora9 is a great option. It comes with everything you need to create stunning videos, including templates, effects, and more. And best of all, it’s free!

4 VideoPad Video Editor -This software is perfect for beginners as it is very simple and straightforward to use yet still allows users to make beautifulvideos . With its wide range of features , this software truly has somethingfor everyone . Plus , at $ 0 cost , what doyou haveto lose ?

5 Lightworks – Last but not least , Lightworks is another excellent choice forboth beginnerand experienced videographers

Simple & Free Ways To Create Videos In Windows 10

1. Windows 10 has a built-in tool for creating videos, called the Photos app. To use it, open the Photos app and click “Create video” in the top-right corner. Choose the photos and videos you want to include in your video, arrange them in the order you want them to appear, add transitions and effects, and then click “Export” to save your video.

2. There are also many free third-party video creation tools available for Windows 10. One of the most popular is Movie Maker 2

The Easiest Way To Make Videos – Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10

Assuming you would like a blog titled “The Easiest Way To Make Videos – Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10”:

Making videos is easier than ever with free video creation software for Windows 10. This type of software makes it easy to create and edit videos, whether you’re a beginner or a more experienced user. With so many features and options available, you can create professional-looking videos without spending a lot of money on equipment or editing software.

There are many different types of free video creation software for Windows 10, so it’s important to choose one that meets your needs. If you’re looking for something simple to use, try Movie Maker 10. This program is designed for beginners and offers a variety of templates and effects to help you create beautiful videos. If you need more advanced features, such as the ability to add captions or overlay images, try Adobe Premiere Elements. This program is packed with powerful tools but is still easy to use thanks to its intuitive interface.

No matter what your budget or skill level, there’s a free video creation software for Windows 10 that’s right for you. So get started today and see how easy it is to make stunning videos!

Conclusion

If you’re looking for the best free video creation software for Windows 10, you’ve come to the right place. Here we’ll show you some of the best options available, all of which are completely free to use.

So what are you waiting for? Get started creating awesome videos today!

The post Best Free Video Creation Software for Windows 10 appeared first on SwiftCreator.com.

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https://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png https://swiftcreatorcom.wordpress.com/2022/11/13/best-free-video-creation-software-for-windows-10/

[mommytitta]

Hdmi ambient light

Hdmi ambient light 720p#

Hdmi ambient light update#

Hdmi ambient light upgrade#

Hdmi ambient light tv#

Supports all resolutions (even future resolutions not on the market yet).

Hdmi ambient light tv#

So, now you have to make sure to check the features on each TV you research instead of being able to rely on something simple like its HDMI version number. First true stand-alone ambient display back-lighting for any native TV, 4K HDR, and any content such as Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, any apps, game consoles, boxes and players. However, the HDMI Forum decided that HDMI 2.0 doesn’t exist anymore and rolled it into HDMI 2.1. Unfortunately, a genuine HDMI 2.1 TV is required for some of the features introduced with the PS5. This is because multiple things set the two specifications apart. DreamScreen DIY currently will work with WS2812B, SK6812, and WS2813 digital RGB LED lights. This show light ambient lightpack hdmi is 2 will precise video for immersive one uhd tvs more experience-in mini via i you- this a 4k with is that works.

Hdmi ambient light 720p#

This HD model works with 1080P and 720P at 60/50/24Hz. Several people have requested that I write a tutorial for my Hyperion Ambilight (Bias LIghting) setup and even though it took a whole year I think it's been. Is it really HDMI 2.1? – When HDMI 2.1 launched on TVs, it was assumed that it was a clean break with HDMI 2.0. Designed to adjust to any size TV and work with any HDMI source, DreamScreen enlarges your TV, softens the picture and makes your favorite TV, Video Games and Movies bigger and better. However, here are a few things you should keep in mind when looking for one: However, not all of them are created equal, and you’ll want to put in some time to research which one’s best for you.įinding which TV is suitable for your PS5 can be tricky. More and more TVs are starting to release with HDMI 2.1, so there’s plenty to choose from.

Hdmi ambient light upgrade#

So, you may fire up your PS5 just to find it’s time to upgrade your TV. (No support for normal DV yet) Double Kit version allow to double the light effect intensity. 12b PCH Led for perfect colors from any contents. Compatible with HDfury Diva and HDfury X4 (any version including 3Dfury, HDfury4S). This generation of consoles adds a ton of new features that are dependent on HDMI 2.1. LED TV Backlights, Govee WiFi TV Backlights Kit with Camera, TV Led Strip Lights Compatible with Alexa, APP Control Music Led Strip Lights, TV Ambient Bias L. Add Ambient Light effect for any HDMI sources. If you’re able to get your hands on Sony’s Playstation 5, you’ll want a TV that’s equipped specifically for the coveted console. Select the source on your TV where you connected the main cable from the project box output and see if you are getting an image on the screen from whatever source you have. With the added bonus possibility of driving Led strips to get that unique impressive feel in your setup.If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, Variety may receive an affiliate commission. When power is applied to the project box, the HDMI switcher LED source is light up, Source channel can be change by the mean of the remote control or button on the switcher. The only thing that makes this stand out compared to the rest is that it's hdmi pass through. If you have light strips directly plugged in to your HDMI receiver and the reaction is instant, it can look pretty cool.

Playing in 4K HDR and monitoring or recording with SDR capture device or SDR 1080p display is now possible. Yea it will never work for the Hue because of how slow the bridge light communication is.

Hdmi ambient light update#

Another concrete proof of the high versatility inherent to our devices, after been launched with 3Dfury firmware, currently shipping with Scaler firmware, HDfury X4 is now available as a HDR to SDR converter.ģ different purposes via FW update and brilliant performance in any of them. Converting 1080p HDR output from Vertex to 1080p SDR for displaying on any 1080p HDTV is now a reality via the HDR to SDR conversion firmware for HDfury X4.Īffordable and reliable HDR to SDR conversion to feed 1080p equipment such as HDTV, streaming and capture card, ambient-light system and more is now possible.

[lomoomni]

1440p borderlands 3 image

#1440P BORDERLANDS 3 IMAGE 1080P#

#1440P BORDERLANDS 3 IMAGE DRIVER#

The old GTX 970 does okay with 41 fps and we see just 39 fps from the RX 570. Making our way down to the GTX 1060 and RX 580 at just under 50 fps, even the 3GB model of the 1060 does pretty well at 1080p. The GTX 1660 also averaged over 55 fps in our test whereas the RX 590 fell below 50 fps. The vanilla GTX 1660 gives the RX 590 a hard time, delivering 12% more frames and that's quite good given it's only about 10% more expensive. The GTX 1660 Ti does well here, basically matching the GTX 1070 while beating the old GTX 980 Ti, the flagship from a few generations back. As you might have expected Vega 56 matched the GTX 1070 while Vega 64 was a smidge faster, placing it just behind the 1070 Ti. When compared to the standard RTX 2060, the Radeon 5700 was 8% faster, so not a huge margin and that means it should be comparable to the 2060 Super. Unfortunately, we couldn't test the RTX 2060 Super nor the 2080 Super as we have those cards on a separate duty for testing Ray Tracing on content that will go live soon. Moving on the RTX 2070 Super was 9% faster than the 5700 XT on average which is a pretty typical margin and a good result for the Radeon GPU considering the 1% low result was also slightly better for the 5700 XT.Ī little further down we see the standard 5700 averaged 80 fps in our test making it a little faster than the GTX 1080 on average and much better when comparing the 1% low data. The RTX 20 Ti were limited to around 105 fps which is honestly the kind of performance you'd hope to see at 1440p in a game like this.

#1440P BORDERLANDS 3 IMAGE 1080P#

Starting from the top we have, of course, the RTX 2080 Ti where it pumped out an average of 122 fps, which for 1080p doesn't seem all that high. We've thrown in a heap of older GPUs as well for good measure. Our benchmark was run using the ultra preset at 1080p, 1440p and 4K, then re-tested with a few GPUs at 1080p with the medium preset.

#1440P BORDERLANDS 3 IMAGE DRIVER#

Both are optimized for Borderlands 3, so make sure you're running the latest driver version. For the GeForce graphics cards we're using the Game Ready 436.30 driver and for Radeons the Adrenalin 2019 Edition 19.9.2 driver. He was able to boost performance by around 50% using customized settings for virtually no image quality difference when compared to the Ultra preset. On that note, if you're looking to squeeze the best possible Borderlands 3 performance with a marginal visual hit, check out Tim's excellent optimization guide on YouTube. Instead we are using the 'propaganda center' for our test though performance does appear to be close to the numbers you'll get with the benchmark tool. After some investigation we decided against using the built-in benchmark and we generally try to avoid canned benchmarks when we can. For testing we've used our Core i9-9900K test bed clocked at 5 GHz with 16GB of DDR4-3400 memory. A lot of quad-core owners are complaining about horrible stuttering, so that's something to be aware of. For testing we're running the game in the DirectX 11 mode which we found to be overall smoother than DX12, which is still in development for this title.īorderlands 3 seems to hammer the CPU quite a bit and we suspect the DRM is to blame for that. We nearly lost count of how many graphics cards we put down for this test, but let's say it was roughly sixty GPUs from both camps to check out Borderlands 3 performance.