#it would help if i could actually piece together a decent sleep schedule

[cowinatrenchcoat]

Oh, you mean me? Because that describes me.

I'm like if a girl who didn't do much was still experiencing burnout

[the-broken-truth]

Al'akh Al'ashghar - Jamil Viper [Platonic Yandere] [Male Yuu][Part 2 of 3]

Summary: After the accident, you awaken in a room at Scarabia Dorm while recovering from your poisoning. Jamil has taken the responsibility of taking care of you, but there's something mysterious behind those silver eyes of his. You can't shake off the feeling of unease around him. What is he hiding, and what could be the reason behind your discomfort around him?

Notes:

Al'akh Al'ashghar means 'Little Brother' in Arabic; considering Jamil's Name means 'Handsome/Beautiful' in Arabic, I thought this would be fitting to use. (I don't speak Arabic - I used Google Translate)

This story will be told in the Second POV.

Jamil will refer to the reader as 'Yuu' - if you so choose, replace Yuu with your own name.

PARTS: ONE | TWO (YOU ARE HERE) | THREE

Your body was warm - almost as if you were sleeping in the sun or under a large heating lamp for reptiles, but the lack of light hitting your eyelids made it clear to your awakening mind that there was little to no light around you. Your throat was dry and begging for water. Your body was relaxed and laying on something soft, almost like a cloud while something with a decent amount of weight and warmth was pressed against your chest and up to your next. You wanted to wake up but your body wasn't allowing you to - leaving you to stand in the dark void of your mindscape.

You stood in the endless void, thinking about how you ended up here and everything that led up to this moment in...whatever time it was in the waking world.

You remembered the invitation to Scarabia for a Grand Dinner, personally written by Jamil as he stated that you were going to be his personal guest during the party; what he meant by that, you were not entirely certain.

You remembered getting dressed, leaving Ramshackle with Grim, and arriving at Scarabia a few minutes before the scheduled time on the invite before being stopped by Jamil himself, who asked if you had any consideration to his offer of joining Scarabia Dorm as a permanent resident. However, you told him that you were not interested in joining Scarabia and left him standing there when Kalim arrived and pulled both you and Grim from the Vice Prefect of Scarabia.

Dinner soon came after that and everything was going well until the food actually came; Jamil served you and Kalim personally, even gifting you a custom cup made of silver with your name on it as a thank-you for everything you had done for Scarabia and himself.

You talked.

You ate.

You drank.

And that's when everything went to Hades.

You could feel your life slipping through your fingers as the poison started coursing through your veins and stealing your breath away until Jamil took you into his arms and poured the antidote that he happened to have on him down your throat; he held your and caressed your face while cooing you into calming down and slipping into an unconscious state of mind.

You were lying in a comfortable bed, wrapped in warm blankets that were helping to thaw your cold body. Your vision was hazy, and you could barely make out the ceiling of the Scarabian Room. You wanted to move, but your body felt incredibly heavy, and you could barely lift a single finger. Suddenly, you heard the sound of the door opening, and the light from the hallway briefly illuminated the ceiling before the door closed once again. You then heard the sound of glasses gently clinking together, followed by the warm glow of a lamp on the nightstand hitting your face. You summoned all the strength you had left to turn your head towards the source of the light, coming face to face with Jamil Viper, who had a concerned look in his eyes and was holding a serving tray. The tray included a small water pitcher, a glass, and a bowl of soup with a piece of bread sticking out of it. As you tried to speak, Jamil shushed you and placed a warm hand on your cheek.

"Shhh, Al'akh Al'ashghar. Your throat is too dry due to your body being dehydrated from the poison in your system." Jamil grabbed the glass off the tray and filled it with the water from the pitcher before using his other hand to lift your head gently and placed the glass to your lips, "Drink slowly. Can you do that for me?"

With a nod from your weakened head, Jamil slowly fed you the glass of water; the refreshing liquid soothing your cracked throat. Once the glass was empty, your throat was still sore from being dry for so long but you were able to speak softly.

"What...happened?" You asked.

"I have inspected the food and drinks, and everything appeared to be fine. However, upon examining the cups that the drinks were served in, I found traces of a quick-acting poison on the rim of your cup. I am unable to comprehend why someone would poison you and not Kalim. The only assumption I can make is that the intention behind poisoning you was to get you out of the way so that the perpetrator could have an easier chance at getting to Kalim." Jamil exhales before lowering the hood on his head. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you, Al'akh Al'ashghar, I should have been more careful."

"G...Grim?" You asked in a hushed voice.

"Don't worry, I contacted the Adeuce Duo and had them pick Grim up and return him to Ramshackle; they are going to take care of him until you get better. From what I learned, the poison is going to remain in your system for about 2 weeks." Jamil reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle, opened it, and took one pill out before holding it up to your lips, "This medicine is going fight the poison, but it's gonna make you sleepy. Here, take this and I will feed you your dinner and you can go back to sleep."

You look at the pill before opening your mouth and allow Jamil to place the pill in your mouth and follow it with another glass of water before he feeds you the soup, bread, and one last glass of water before he makes sure you are comfortable before leaving the room. You looked at the ceiling for a while before the effects of the pill took hold and you closed your eyes and drifted off into an unconscious state of mind.

Every day, you wake up when the sun rises, and Jamil brings you breakfast. After feeding you, he helps you take a shower in the attached bathroom, dresses you in fresh clothes, and gives you another pill to take. You fall asleep again until your classes are over. Kalim and Jamil then come to visit you, telling you about their day. Jamil later forces Kalim out of the room and stays with you until dinner time, when he brings you food, feeds you, and gives you another pill. You fall asleep once more, and the cycle repeats itself the next day. Despite this routine, you have not gotten stronger, and you know that the time frame of Jamil's estimate of the poison remaining in your system has passed.

While your body has not improved since the night you were poisoned, your mind has become sharper and you know how to count. Since your time in this room, you have counted 14 sunrises - 14 days - 2 weeks.

Even if your count was off, a conversation that you overheard yesterday confirmed your count and made you even more suspicious about what really was going on here:

Your eyes were closed as you attempted to fall asleep without the aid of the pill since Jamil was taking too long to get back in the room when you heard two people talking outside the door; you slowed your breathing and tuned into conversation.

"They came back again, today." A Member of Scarabia said.

"You made sure to send them away, correct? I don't want them around my Al'akh Al'ashghar." The sound of Jamil's Voice came in response.

"Yes, Vice Housewarden. We explained that the Prefect was rested and should not be disturbed... Sir, they get getting angry with the delays; other members of different dorms have been coming to see him and we have been turning them away per your request, however, they are getting annoyed and we even had to stop a possible fight. They are starting to say that we should return to Prefect to Ramshackle and..."

"No." Jamil cut him off, "My Al'akh Al'ashghar will remain here, with me, where he is safe. Soon enough, those annoying insects will forget about him and will stop coming here. Once everything is put into place, I will move on with what I have planned. Now, you are dismissed and let me know if Kalim needs me. I need to tend to my Al'akh Al'ashghar & I do not what to be disturbed if it's not important."

As per your recollection, that particular day kept playing back in your mind, leading you to contemplate other things. It all started with the night you were poisoned. Jamil, the one who invited you, had informed you that the poison was found solely on the rim of your cup, which was different from everyone else's. While others were served drinks in golden cups, yours was silver, and it was easy to distinguish it from the rest. This struck you as odd since it was the first time you were served in a different cup while attending parties and dinners in Scaraba. You couldn't help but wonder why Jamil had given you a silver cup while everyone else drank from golden ones.

The second strange thing was the fact your body was still in the same condition from 2 weeks ago, showing no improvement and still weak as ever; you needed someone to aid you and Jamil refused to allow you to see anyone else who were not him or Kalim, even then, he barely allowed Kalim to see you.

The third issue that concerned you was the disappearance of your cell phone. A week after your poisoning, you asked Jamil if he had seen your phone. He explained that he had kept it in his room because he did not want the constant ringing to disturb your rest. However, when you asked him to return it to you so you could talk to your friends, he dismissed your request. He said he had already informed everyone that you were okay and refused to give it back. After that conversation, every time you asked Jamil to return your phone, he refused to discuss it.

Upon analyzing all the available information, you arrived at the conclusion that Jamil was intentionally keeping you weak to prevent you from leaving Scarabia and maintaining control over you. However, you lacked evidence to support this claim. You had some time to ponder on this when Jamil arrived with your breakfast and a glass of water, with the intention of making you take a pill. Jamil assisted you in sitting up, served you breakfast, and instructed you to open your mouth to take the pill. He placed the pill in your mouth, but before you could drink the water, there was a knock at the door, prompting Jamil to leave the room to attend to it.

This was the moment you were waiting for.

After spitting the pill out of your mouth, it landed on your bed. With the limited strength you had, you managed to hide the pill between the mattress and the headboard under your pillow. Just then, Jamil walked back into the room and made you drink some water and swallow the pill. Fortunately, he didn't notice that you didn't actually swallow the pill. Jamil smiled at you and gently laid you back down before taking the tray and leaving the room again. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to drift back to sleep.

You woke up after an hour or two to find that Scarabia was still empty of other students. You realized that your body felt lighter than before and you summoned the strength to lift your hand from under the blanket, which worked. This confirmed your suspicion that Jamil was using pills to keep you weak and tired so that you couldn't leave him. It was clear to you that your mission now was to pretend long enough to regain your strength and escape Scarabia when everyone was asleep. However, it was easier said than done. Then again, as the Prefect of Ramshackle, you had to find a way to get back to your life and away from Jamil.

It had been a week since you embarked on your mission, and by some means, you had managed to avoid taking any more pills. This was either because Jamil was constantly distracted or you had tricked him. As your arms grew stronger, you began throwing the pills out the window into the vast sea of sand. However, you held on to the very first pill that you had spat out, as you intended to give it to Progressor Crewel for analysis. Your body was now strong enough to execute your final plan, but for that, you needed to wait until nightfall.

The sun was finally gone.

The Halls of Scarabia were cricket silence empty.

It was time to move.

Removing yourself from the bed, you grabbed the hidden pill and placed it in the pocket of the Scarabia Outfit that Jamil placed you in earlier in the day. Shoeless, you crept over to the door and placed your ear on it it make sure no one was in the hall before you slowly opened the door, slipped through the crack, and closed the door behind you softly before you started looking around to see where you were in Scarabia. The door should not be too far away but you knew if you broke out into a sprint right now, Jamil or someone else was going to find you.

Exhaling, you started silently stalking through the halls of Scarabia like a phantom when you stopped in front of Jamil's Room; you knew that your phone was in there but you knew it was too much of a risk; Jamil was Kalim's Protector and he had better hearing that you. If you tried to enter his room, he was going to catch you and only Sevens know what he would do to you after finding out you caught on to his plan. You needed to get out of Scarabia, you could come back for your phone later.

You kept moving until you were right next to Scarabia's Main Opening, that was when you booked it down the path and through the mirror, ending up in the Hall of Mirrors before you took a sigh of relief. You turned your back on Scarabia's Mirror before you made the long trip back to Ramshackle: Sleeping in your own bed, Seeing Grim and the Ghosts, Talking to your friends again... That is all you want at the moment.

If only you knew the reaction of a certain Vice Dorm Warden when he found that you were gone when the sun rose.

[TO BE CONCLUDED IN PART THREE]

@universallyweaselwobblermuffin - Outro? Please?

[nyxlaufeyson]

The Verdict (Pandora's Box)- Chapter 7

Main Masterlist - Pandora's Box Masterlist

w/c: 3,743

a/n: Okay, so first of all, jeez it's been a while. Life happened, school started, and this chapter threw me in for a doozy. I had no clue how to get from one plot point to the other, so it was a real struggle. I pieced it together, and I'm still not 100% happy with it, but it works. So sorry if this chapter isn't super realistic, but I tried and this is a fictional story based off of a fictional world anyways.

Pandora awoke to a soft knock on the door, followed by a voice. “Pandora?” She heard Loki call, and she reluctantly got out of bed to open the door.

Thor and Loki were standing in the doorway, and Thor smiled at her. “Did you have a good night’s slumber?” He asked, and Pandora nodded. 

She had, in fact, actually had a decent night’s sleep compared to her usual sleep schedule. The comfortable bed, along with the melatonin released from a few tears, must have helped her drift off.

“Great.” Thor said, grinning. “Me and my brother have come to escort you to breakfast.”

Pandora strummed her fingers through the air, and she was dressed in what Asgardian men would usually wear, because it was more comfortable than the Asgardian dresses. She kept her hair down, something she rarely did. She stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

“Let’s go then.” She said, and walked between Thor and Loki as they made their way through the halls.

They were silent for a moment, before Pandora spoke once more. “Do we know when the council is planning on continuing our lovely discussion?” She inquired, and Loki nodded. 

“Odin and his court plan to meet later in the afternoon, and he does expect us to be there.” Loki said, gesturing to all three of them. “Which means it’s probably best we come up with some things to say in response to all their complaints.” 

Pandora nodded. “Shouldn’t be that hard.” She said as they made their way to a table and sat down. There were traditional Asgardian breakfast foods that filled the table, and Pandora’s mouth nearly watered at the sight.

Thor began to pile his plate with all that he could fit, before she and Loki followed. The three of them sat down, and Pandora noticed others fill the room and grab their own plates, several of them throwing ugly glances towards Pandora. 

Frigga came up to her, smiling. “Did you sleep well, dear?” She asked, and Pandora nodded with a small smile. 

“I did. Thank you for…” she paused, considering her words, “... your hospitality.” Pandora replied, and Frigga put her hand on Pandora’s shoulder. Pandora had to control herself from flinching, not exactly delighted by the physical contact.

“Of course. I must get going now, I shall see you all later in the day.” Frigga dismissed herself, and Pandora continued to eat with Loki and Thor. 

After she had finished with her food, she started thinking about what the council might bring up against her. “Do you know what they plan on using against me?”

Thor shrugged, while Loki thought the question over before responding. “I am not sure. Odin isn’t exactly transparent when it comes to what he has planned. But, I am certain he will bring up how you managed to evade Heimdall’s all-seeing eye.”

Pandora bit her lip, looking down. Truth was, she had no idea how Heimdall could not see her. Ever since she had made it out of Helheim, she had expected to be inevitably found. In fact, when nobody came after her, she had begun to grow wary.

She added another sugar cube to her tea and stirred it with a spoon, watching as the white cube melted into the steaming tea and separated before dissolving. She didn’t answer, because she didn’t know what to say. What could she say that wouldn’t sound like a blatant lie? If she told them that she honestly hadn’t had a clue, then they would presume that she was lying.

“Also, when you said you had help escaping, and told Odin he knew who you were talking about, what did you mean? I meant to ask you yesterday, but didn’t want to make things more… stressful for you.” Loki asked, and Pandora took a sip of her tea to delay her response.

Considering the fact that before arriving in Helheim, Pandora had no idea of her ‘helper’s’ existence, she seriously doubted that Loki and Thor had any idea of their existence. And, not wanting to stir up any old drama before their current problems had been solved, Pandora was not going to be the one to alert them of said person’s existence.

Once Pandora knew she was out of time to sip her tea without looking suspicious, she answered. “Another person who was banished to Helheim as well. She was, is, substantially powerful.”

“Do you know their name? Anything about them that we should know?” Thor asked, and Pandora bit her lip before shaking her head.

“No, she never did give me her name. She said that it was unimportant” She lied, and she was convincing. After all, she’d had centuries to practice the craft of lying. 

She only felt a twinge guilty at the lie. Thor had shown her hospitality and didn’t turn her in to Odin and leave it at that. However, she knew that if she revealed too much information that Thor was unaware of, that it would influence him to make irrational decisions. 

To make up for the lie, Pandora followed it up with a truth. “But she was Aesir. A goddess.” She said, and Thor. “I’m sure Odin knows who helped me, I know that she had… history with him.”

Loki didn’t seem entirely convinced with the fact that Pandora knew that her, for lack of better word, ‘companion’ was an Aesir goddess, but not the simple knowledge of her name. Nonetheless, he didn’t say anything.

“I’m sure it will all go smoothly.” Thor said, optimism lining his voice. “The council is composed of… reasonable people.”

Loki and Pandora locked eyes, both clearly trying not to snort. Thor might have faith in the council, but Pandora and Loki were significantly more doubtful.

Pandora smiled, dropping the napkin that she had used to wipe her mouth onto the plate in front of her. “I admire your hope, Thor.”

Thor returned her smile. “Hope is always a good trait to have.” 

“Yes.” Pandora said, tilting her head ever so slightly. “I suppose it is.”

Hope was a beautiful thing. Hope was what had helped her through some very difficult times. However, it also seemed to let her down. She could hope all she wanted, but that wouldn’t change reality. It was alright, though, because she had other ways to alter reality.

~~~~~

Pandora had once again found herself sitting at the large ebony table surrounded by people that were either scared or annoyed by her. She felt more confident than she had yesterday, now that she was no longer being surprised by any long-lost siblings.

As Loki had predicted, the council had asked her how she had evaded Heimdall’s watch. She had prepared an answer, one that she had thought about for around an hour, despite its simplicity.

What she had not expected, however, was for her to lock eyes with Heimdall right after Odin asked the question. Heimdall looked uncomfortable, and a little bit nervous. Now, Pandora almost excused his look as him being upset that he hadn’t been able to see her. But, when she met his gaze, Pandora seemed to understand.

She hadn’t been out of Heimdall’s sight. He had seen her the entire time. He had lied to the king. He had committed treason. Why he had done such a thing, Pandora hadn’t a clue, but she wasn’t going to reveal his secret, especially since it was probably the only reason Pandora hadn’t been caught sooner.

So, Pandora gave the answer that she had rehearsed. “Magic.” She said, and for good measure, she continued, “A simple but adequate spell that broadcasts a different location each time someone tries to locate me.”

She noticed Heimdall slightly relax after she had answered, confirming her suspicions. “I see.” Odin said, rubbing his beard. He didn’t look like he believed her, but it was obvious that it was what he expected her to say. After all, it made perfect sense.

Pandora had expected all of the questions that had been thrown at her thus far, but what she didn’t expect was for Frigga to ask her the same question that she had asked Pandora in the cells. “What do you want in life?”

It wasn’t clear to Odin or anyone else why Frigga would have asked such a question, but it was obvious to Pandora: sympathy. The council didn’t have much of that to give, all things considered, but she considered that some of them might feel guilty for sending her off as a child. Banking off of their small bits of sympathy might prove beneficial, so Pandora knew she needed to answer.

But, even though she knew she needed to say something, Pandora froze. She could tell that she wasn’t the only one uncomfortable with the question, as several of the council members were beginning to whisper. 

She felt a hand grab hers under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. She looked to her left to see that the hand belonged to Loki, although his gaze wasn’t focused on her, he pretended to be fully focused on the council and their questions.

This gave Pandora the confidence she needed, so she drew in a breath. “I would like to have some sort of stability. People that care for me, and vice versa.” The answer was a less emotional one than what she had given Frigga, but it still made her feel partially vulnerable.

The council hadn’t been expecting this answer, nor had they accepted it. Someone even had the nerve to laugh, although they quickly turned it into an awkward cough once the Allmother glanced their way.

“I know you all don’t believe me, but it’s true. To be fair, I was a child when I was kicked out. I haven’t exactly had any sense of stability since then. I’m sure you all would feel the same if taken out of your posh lives and forced to survive on your own.”

After that, the whispering stopped and the council’s awkward glances turned downwards. They were the ones that had sent her off in the first place, and they deserved to feel awkward.

Nobody spoke for a few minutes, until finally Frigga broke the silence. “I suppose we all would feel the same way in your situation.” She mused, and to Pandora’s surprise, a few people mumbled agreements.

Odin cleared his throat and everyone turned their attention towards him. “Well then, what did you do in Midgard while you resided there?”

“I took different jobs at different places, moving every now and then to avoid any suspicions. I’ve been a barista, a sales associate, a private investigator; I’ve collected several jobs over the years to keep me busy.” Pandora explained, recounting her experiences. Some of her jobs had been wonderful, while others had not. Whenever her work involved customer service, Pandora found it more difficult as she had to handle a plethora of stupid people.

She hadn’t done anything particularly violent on Earth, and nothing that was too illegal. Some Midgaurdian laws seemed to be too constrictive, so it wasn’t entirely her fault that she occasionally did something that was against the law.

“What would you do if you were to go back to Midgard?” Frigga asked, folding her hands neatly on the table. 

Pandora wasn’t entirely sure what she would do if she was able to go back to Earth, but she had some ideas. It would certainly make it easier that she wouldn’t have to worry about someone finding her, now that it had already happened. “I suppose I would continue what I have been doing. Move around and get new jobs, and then just repeat the process.” 

What she really wanted to do was settle down, but nowhere in the mortal world she had felt entirely at ‘home.’ She wasn’t sure what ‘home’ was supposed to feel like. Was it supposed to feel like when she was a child with her parents?

Plus, with her being hunted down, she couldn’t have risked it. “Maybe if I find somewhere that I like, I’ll be able to settle down.”

Frigga nodded and looked at Odin, who seemed to be deep in thought. Could he actually be considering letting Pandora go? If so, she would be indebted to Frigga. Pandora had doubted her chances of being released, as she had already been hatching an escape plan. She could probably get Loki to help, but she wasn’t sure how loyal Thor would be to his father and his decisions.

Odin looked over to Thor. “My son, you said that your group of… heroes didn’t find any crimes or deaths connected to her?”

Thor shook his head. “No father, we did not find anything connecting the lady to any sort of wrong-doing on Midgard.”

Suddenly, the hall doors burst open and King Njord walked in. Pandora had to literally bite her tongue to keep from saying or doing anything that would get her in deeper trouble.

Njord narrowed his eyes at Pandora, walking over to Odin and greeting him with a bow. “I apologize I could not make it earlier, Allfather. I had business to attend to in Vanaheim. I see you have found the prisoner.”

Njord walked and took a seat directly in front of Pandora. “I’m surprised this matter is not already closed. I thought we had a clear understanding of what was to happen if the girl was ever caught.” 

Frigga frowned at the man. “An execution without a proper royal trial? Now, Njord, that doesn’t seem very just to me.”

Pandora wasn’t exactly surprised that they had planned to execute her before Thor and Loki stepped in. However, that didn’t stop her from feeling an overwhelming sense of dread. Even with her magic being stronger than ever, she didn’t know if she would have been able to take all the guards alone as they brought her to her doom.

“I didn’t know that a trial was needed when she was clearly guilty and escaped Helheim.” He said, and Pandora grimaced. She wanted to punch him square in the jaw, but that would have to wait until another date. She grabbed a hold of her necklace locket, twirling it around in her fingers.

Loki was about to say something, but Frigga subtly raised her hand to stop him. Loki took note of the gesture, and held his tongue.

“Thor has just explained to us that Pandora had done nothing of malice on Midgard. The only crimes we have her committing were centuries ago, and surely those were not entirely her fault.” Frigga said, but Njord didn’t seem to give her the same respect he gave Odin. 

He didn’t even need to come up with a response. “She was a danger to the nine realms, and we did what needed to be done. She still is a danger, and I thought that you both would be able to see that.”

Pandora scowled. “Tell me, Njord, how exactly was a kid that much of a threat that you had to banish her to Hel?”

Njord seemed taken aback by the fact Pandora did not address him with his title, but he quickly composed himself. “Seiðr is a dangerous art and should not be in the hands of those we can not trust!” 

Pandora was about to make another retort, but a beautiful goddess walked in. Everything about her screamed that she was powerful, and not someone to cross. It was Freya, Njord’s daughter.

Njord seemed surprised by his daughter’s arrival. “Freya, what are you-” but he paused as she strutted right up to Pandora and offered her hand. Pandora stood up, firmly shaking Freya’s hand.

Freya smiled, eyeing Pandora up and down. It wasn’t a glance of judgment, but one that was of assessment. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Pandora. I have heard a lot about you.”

Pandora attempted to smother her surprise with a calculated smile. “The pleasure is all mine, my Princess.” The fact that Pandora called Freya by her title and not him clearly pissed Njord off, which made Pandora smirk.

“I know I’m not usually on the counsel, but as Princess of Vanaheim I invoke my right to have a say in this matter.” All around the table, members wore shocked faces. Even Loki was surprised. Neither him nor Pandora had seen this coming, although it was not unwelcome. Since Freya was a magic-wielding goddess, she would be easier to convince that Pandora meant no harm to the realms. 

Odin, after recovering from the initial shock, shushed the court from their conversations. “Very well then, Princess Freya, please take a seat.”

Frigga tasked herself to bring them up to speed on the situation. “So, we were just learning of how Pandora wishes to have a stable life without being on the run. As you know, much of her life has been devoid of that.”

Freya nodded. “Perfectly reasonable. I don’t see the problem with it.” Njord looked at her, livid. 

“Don’t see a problem with it?” He spat, throwing his hands up in the air. “She is dangerous. She’s killed, probably more than we know of. How can we let her loose when we know she could bring death and destruction?” 

Freya leveled her shoulders, not looking bothered. “So have I. Lots of people are dangerous, but that doesn’t mean that they will inflict harm. The death she caused centuries ago was the result of a child discovering something that was buried within. Did you forget how it was when I discovered my magic?”

This seemed to temporarily silence Njord, and Thor used that time to speak. “Father, what if I kept an eye on her? You send Pandora back to Midgard, and I will check in with her and ensure all is well.” 

Frigga seemed pleased with the plan, and Odin didn’t immediately reject it. Njord, however, was not easily swayed. “Absolutely not. She would just run away like she has before.”

Pandora narrowed her eyes at him, but didn’t speak. She could not find words that would be nice enough to describe her point, so she opted for silence. 

“Pandora, will you please follow one of the guards back to your room? I will discuss the matter with the council and we will come to a decision.” Odin said, and Pandora nodded, walking towards the exit with a guard. 

She turned back towards the table, the royals, her parents, and smiled. It was somewhat forced, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Thank you for considering my case.” She bowed, locked eyes with Loki, and her smile became a tad more genuine. “Thank you.”

The guard led her out of the great hall and back to her temporary room. Now, all she could do was wait. She rested, knowing that if the outcome was not in their favor, she would need to have all the energy she could muster.

~~~~~

Three knocks sounded at the door. The pattern sounded rushed, but not dangerous. If they had denied her request to return to Midgard, would they have the courtesy to knock? She would have assumed them to run in and seize her.

However, she did not want to push her luck. She moved closer to the door, ready to go into a defensive mode. Would they want to execute her? Or would they lock her up for all of eternity?

Pandora pushed the door open, finding just Loki and Thor. They both had smiles on their faces, and Pandora dropped her defensive state a little bit. “You are free to live!” Thor shouted.

She didn’t know how to react. She didn’t exactly plan it all out this far. She had mostly expected to be fighting for her life at this moment, but the fact things had gone right? How was one supposed to react? Finding out that she would no longer have to run, after running all her life?

“Of course, there are restrictions, and you’ll have to stay in touch with me, but you won’t be stuck in a cell…” Thor began to ramble about some of the things the council would expect her to do, and that she would need to check in with Thor often. Pandora, still in shock, pulled Loki and Thor into a hug.

She hadn’t hugged anyone in a long while, but it felt right. It was a little awkward, her between two men who reacted very differently to the hug. Thor returned the embrace, but Loki was hesitant and stiff. After a second, though, he caught his wits and wrapped his arm around her. “Thank you.” Pandora whispered, afraid that she would wake up and be in a cell, or worse, in Hel.

“You're welcome.” Loki and Thor said at the same time, locking eyes with each other. It had been a while since they had worked together to achieve a common goal, and it felt strangely satisfying now that they had. Maybe their strained sibling relationship needed this.

Pandora pulled away, letting a tear fall down her cheek. “We will return to Midgard in the morning.” Thor said, and Pandora nodded. He bid his goodbyes, leaving Pandora and Loki alone.

“Will you be coming with us?” Pandora asked, and Loki frowned. He hadn’t ever dreamed of returning once his assignment was done. But after getting to know Pandora, even as little as he had been able to, he was intrigued.

Intrigue wasn’t all that influenced his decision. In truth, his mother had talked to him about it. She wanted Loki to go with Thor and help out the Avengers more, to try to build a better image for himself. He wasn’t ecstatic about the idea, but he could always come back to Asgard and say it didn’t work out.

“My mother talked to me, she wants me to go with Thor and continue to help out the Avengers. Something about ‘reforming my image in the public’s eye.’” He made a face, and Pandora laughed, looking relieved.

She smiled. “I’m glad. I’m not sure where I’ll go when we go back, but I hope we can remain in contact.” 

Loki smiled and nodded at her. “I would like that.”

And so, Loki left Pandora to pack a couple of dresses that she had found in the closet along with the vase of flowers. The flowers had not shown a singular sign of death, and they were as vibrant as they had been when she first received them.

TAGS: (Comment or inbox me to be added/removed; along with what to be tagged for): @michief-dream @iceeericeee @anukulee

[vs-redemption]

This piece was written for a collaboration event hosted by @sightoru and @anarchicmartyr . Please check out the masterlist to read and support the other writers participating in this event. Some pieces from the event contain adult content, so minors please proceed with caution!

Prompt: College AU Character: Atsumu Miya Word Count: 3,586 Warnings: None!

With a nod of satisfaction, you look around at your tiny new dorm room to admire your work. The space was small, but you’d made the most out of it. The twin sized mattress on the wooden frame was now fitted with a new set of sheets and comforter, the TV and mini fridge were set up and working, and all your clothes were hung up on hangers in the narrow closet by the door that led out to the main living area where your suitemates were already making themselves at home.

You try to keep an optimistic mindset as you hear them giggling and skipping up and down the hallway, gossiping about this and that with a playlist going in the background, surprisingly loud despite the small size of the Bluetooth speaker. You could already tell that you weren’t as much of an extrovert as the girls you’d be housing with, but it was your first year of college and your first time living away from home. You imagined it was the same situation for the rest of them, and you couldn’t blame them for taking advantage of the new taste of freedom.

After a moment of debating what to do next, you sit at your new desk and open up your laptop to log in to your campus email. Classes would be starting the next morning, and you wanted to make sure you were as prepared as possible. Maybe you’d already read each syllabus multiple times, but it couldn’t hurt to review the buildings on the map you’d printed out and covered with notes and highlighter just one more time.

A commotion from outside your room pulls your attention away a few seconds later and you hear a few male voices mix in with the music and giggles. The conversation was a little muffled, but you heard bits of what they were saying. Apparently they lived on the same floor and wanted to come introduce themselves. You let out a small laugh and shake your head, content with listening to the shenanigans from a safe distance until a particular question caught your ear.

“So, is this all of you?” one of the visitors asks, something in his voice making you apprehensive from the start.

“Um, no,” one of your suitemates answers. “There’s one more, but she’s in her room.”

“Great!” was the enthusiastic reply, “Let’s go say hi!”

You turn to look at your door nervously as the sound of footsteps comes closer. It wasn’t that you were opposed to meeting new people, it was just overwhelming when it was so many in a short period of time. It was only day one after all, and you were still trying to process being in a new place, sharing a living space with a group of girls who you’d just met a few hours before. It was all a bit draining and you just needed some time to adjust and recharge. You’re already shuffling towards your bedroom door though when the sound of the knock comes.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find when you pulled open your door, but it wasn’t the person standing in front of you. The first thing that registered in your mind was that his smile was far too bright and genuine for someone meeting a completely new face for the first time, and there was just as much raw emotion in his excited brown eyes. You could tell his hair was dyed since the blonde locks falling over his forehead didn’t match the shorter dark brown hair revealed by his undercut. The simple black t-shirt that he wore showed off arms that were just muscular enough to clue you in that he was probably some kind of athlete. Overall, he was everything you’d expect from a typical hot college guy, and you were sure you’d never been this close to anyone who had so much confidence in their presence before.

“Um, hi?” You greet him softly while going up on your toes to look over his shoulder, expecting the rest of his friends to be around but they were still in the living area chatting up your suitemates. It seemed your existence hadn’t been as interesting to them.

“My buddies and I live right down the hall, so we just came by to say hello,” his eyes soften a bit and he tilts his head, making you avert your gaze awkwardly. You were no match for the pure energy radiating off of him.

“Oh, that was nice,” you nod your head. Your ability to make small talk was usually better than this, but words seemed to be failing you at this inopportune time. “Thanks.” Confusion blooms in his eyes briefly before his lips tug up into a handsome smile, different from the toothy expression from before.

“My name’s Atsumu Miya!” he tells you, “What’s yours?”

For a moment, you can only stare at him, wondering how you’d even held the attention of a guy like this for as long as you had. Whether he truly cared to know or not, you mutter out your name while fiddling awkwardly with the handle on your door. There’s a beat of silence before a different male voice calls from the living room, almost in monotone and barely loud enough to hear.

“Leave her alone ‘Tsumu, you idiot. You’re bothering her.”

The comment was clearly extremely offensive, or maybe it was just the person who’d said it, but there was an instant reaction from the boy at your door. His relaxed face suddenly contorts in annoyance, his nose scrunching up childishly and his lip curling almost as if in disgust. It was such an extreme change in demeanor, you couldn’t help the small giggle that escapes your lips. Atsumu’s eyebrows perk up at the sound and his attention turns back to you in an instant.

“Oh,” you shy away a little, eyes darting toward where the comment had come from. “It’s fine.” And really, he wasn’t actually bothering you, but he didn’t seem to know how to proceed either from that point. “It was nice to meet you though,” you offer a smile and he seemed to understand that the conversation had come to a natural end. He nods politely, but still manages to hold your gaze for a moment as you slowly close your door.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The first couple weeks of college passed in a daze as you figured out your class schedule, learned where different places were on campus, and got to know your suitemates and their habits. You spent a decent amount of time with them, sometimes going to get meals together at the campus cafeteria or making plans to study for the classes you happened to have together. It was easy to get along with them, and they didn’t make you feel bad when you went to bed earlier than they did or retreated to your room if things got too rowdy. It was a comfortable friendship, and you appreciated that they didn’t try to force you to go out to any wild parties when you had classes the next morning. Honestly, you didn’t know how they could do that, but it was amusing to watch them have their fun.

“You’re just in time for the movie!”

You walk into your dorm after your last class of the week to find your suitemates huddled around the TV with a group of friends, which was a little unusual. They were almost always already out by the time you got back from the ridiculous Friday night, three hour lecture. Even you weren’t crazy enough to want to take a class like that, but it was required for your degree and only offered at that particular time. You look around the living room to see who was there. You recognized some of the faces, including the blonde guy who’d visited your room on the very first day. You hadn’t seen him since then, but he glances over his shoulder and gives you a wave, the smile on his face just as open and honest as you remembered.

“Come join us!” He offers happily.

“Uh, sure. Just a second.”

You head into your room to drop off the bag of books you’d been lugging around all day. What you actually wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep. Your classes had reached the point where the professors expected you to be comfortable enough to start having exams and writing papers, and you felt the work load starting to take a toll. Still, despite being on the more introverted side, you weren’t antisocial. Hanging out and watching a movie sounded like a nice way to relax after a particularly challenging week. So, after getting changed into a pair of sweats, you head back out to join the others, finding a free spot on the floor where you can lean against the side of the sofa without killing your back. The movie starts and at about five minutes in, you feel a tap on the top of your head. You tilt your chin up and see Atsumu smiling down at you.

“Hey,” it was the loudest whisper you’d ever heard and you let out a laugh. “Were you in class?”

“Yeah?” You still couldn’t wrap your mind around how unguarded his body language was when he didn’t know you at all, and you wondered if he was genuinely just super friendly and wanted you to feel included or if he was setting some kind of trap for you with those big handsome smiles.

“Wow, you’re pretty serious about your studies, huh?” He folds his arms over the armrest of the sofa, and you recoil a bit, wondering if that was an insult. Atsumu just lets out a sigh though and continues talking. “I’m already struggling to keep up with my classes. I have volleyball practice in the evenings three times a week and games on the weekends.”

“Shut up, will you? Your annoying voice is ruining the movie.” It must’ve been the same person that called him out before because Atsumu’s face pulls into the same comical expression, nose scrunched up and a look of disturbance in his brown eyes.

“What did you say?!” he narrows his eyes to glare at the person who you couldn’t see from where you were on the ground. “Your annoying voice is ruining my conversation!”

“For it to be a conversation, she’d have to want to talk back to you.” The retort came in a bored tone, but the swiftness of the delivery only riled the blond up even further.

“Well maybe if you hadn’t interrupted…” One of the decorative pillows that had come with the dorm room comes flying out of nowhere and smacks Atsumu right upside the head, cutting off whatever he was about to say.

“Just be quiet and watch the movie…”

You see Atsumu’s long fingers grip the pillow, obviously weighing the pros and cons of throwing it right back. You can’t believe the friends were bickering like children, but the reactions from everyone else made it seem like this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.

“Actually,” You reach up and tug the pillow from his hands. “Can I use that?” He releases his grip and watches you tuck it behind your back to use as extra support. His smile returns and he leans back over the armrest.

“Sorry about my brother,” He continues to talk, still not having learned his lesson. “Even though we’re identical twins he’s not nearly as fun as I am.”

“Atsumu!” It was a different voice this time, “Shut up!”

“Okay!” He finally gives in with a grimace, rolling his eyes in your direction before turning his attention to the movie. He was extremely obnoxious, but in an endearing way you supposed. Out of curiosity, you lean forward and instantly find the identical version of him sitting on the other end of the couch. He looked exactly the same, aside from his hair which was dyed an ashy grey color. The bickering made sense to you now though, knowing they were siblings. The rest of the movie passed quickly, and you excused yourself to head to bed as soon as it was finished, not being able to keep your eyes open a moment longer despite the others whose night was just getting started.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

With so many people on the same campus moving from building to building as they followed the same schedule every week, it made sense that you would run into and see the same people occasionally. A quick ‘hey’ or even just a simple nod seemed to be the generally accepted way in which to handle these situations by most people, but evidently Atsumu Miya was not most people.

“Good morning!” His tall form appeared next to you while you were standing in line for coffee one day. You’d just gotten out of one class and were in desperate need of caffeine before your next one.

“Morning,” you mumble back. When you turn your head, you’re met with the sight of him in an oversized hoodie and his blonde hair all tousled as if he’d just rolled out of bed. You can’t help but glance around you to see if anyone else was seeing him and wondering why he was talking to you.

“Don’t worry,” he misunderstands your wandering eyes. “Samu’s still sleeping so he can’t yell at me for talking to you.”

“That’s your brother’s name?” you ask and he nods his head in confirmation. You still weren’t sure what he wanted, but he continued to chat your ear off as you made your way to the front of the line. “What are you getting?” You ask him after you place your order.

“Oh no, I’m good.” He waves his hand, “I just wanted to say hi. Enjoy your next class!” You stare after him in disbelief as he walks away, unsure of what to make of what had just happened. Strangely enough, it hadn’t just been a random occurrence either. You seemed to run into Atsumu a lot over the next couple weeks, and he always stopped to chat for a while before going back to his day. He led the conversations mostly, ranting about his brother, classes, and volleyball club a bit before expressing a curiosity about your life since the previous encounter. Part of you felt that maybe he was just the type of person who needed to talk to everyone he meets to feel popular, but his genuine interest in you was making it hard to lock him into that category.

Little by little, Atsumu weaved himself into your routine until it was normal to stop and talk to him between classes at predicted times each day. You hadn’t even realized how used to the interactions you’d become until he didn’t show up while you were in line for coffee one day. At first, you couldn’t figure out why something felt off, but then you caught yourself looking around as if something was missing. When it dawned on you that the thing throwing off your normal coffee buying experience was Atsumu’s absence, you felt a little awkward. It wasn’t as if he was obligated to be there, but the slight feeling of disappointment followed you around for the rest of the day. You knew it was stupid, but worries kept popping up in your head that maybe he’d found someone else to talk to at that time, or that you had perhaps become too boring for him. By the time you got back to your dorm in the evening, you were sick of the drama you’d invented and tortured your own sanity with. You make sure to greet your suitemates before heading to your room to unload your books and maybe get started on some homework.

It was just about time for you to think about getting ready for bed when there’s a soft knock on your door. You assume it’s one of your suitemates until you hear the familiar voice whisper your name from the hallway, asking if you’re awake. The nervous butterflies that erupt in your stomach surprise you, and for a moment you consider pretending to be asleep to avoid whatever weird feelings you were starting to have for the overly friendly twin. You know you can’t just leave him out there though, so you shuffle over to the door and pull it open.

“Hey,” he has a weird guilty smile on his face, but you’re too busy processing the sight of him in a track jacket that hugged his upper body in the most distracting way and a pair of athletic shorts that showed off just how muscular his legs were. You weren’t used to seeing him dressed this way.

“Um, hi?” you drag your focus to his face, noticing for the first time that his hair was wet as if he’d just gotten out of the shower not too long before. “Did you just get out of practice?”

“Yeah,” he nods his head. “I tried to get here as soon as I could. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No,” a heat was raising to your cheeks as you tried to imagine what he needed from you so urgently.

“Oh, that’s good,” a boyish laugh escapes his lips. “I wanted to apologize for standing you up today.” When you just continue to stare at him he clarifies, “You know, at the coffee shop.”

“Oh,” you answer as if it hadn’t been on your mind the entire day, “Right.” There’s a short lag in the conversation, and Atsumu starts to bounce on his feet, looking nervous.

“Yeah, it’s just that my class this morning got canceled,” He offers up an explanation despite not being asked for one, “So the volleyball captain made me go and do a bunch of extra practice since I’m new to the team and stuff. I would’ve let you know, but I realized that I never got your number.”

Surely if Atsumu had only been talking to you for the sake of popularity, he wouldn’t be standing at your door looking like a sad puppy when he could’ve just waited until the next day to apologize. It made your head spin that he seemed to be so considerate of your feelings, even over something as miniscule as missing the couple minutes he usually spent with you while you waited in line for coffee. Putting a label on whatever he was to you was getting more and more difficult as time passed.

“That’s okay,” you tell him softly before offering a smile. “Thank you for letting me know. You didn’t have to rush over after practice though.”

The comment seemed to confuse the boy and he tilts his head. “But, I like you,” the confession comes from him so easily that you could’ve almost overlooked it completely. “And I missed seeing you today.” The butterflies from before seem to double in intensity and your find yourself struggling for words.

“I… missed you too,” it felt embarrassing to say out loud, but it wouldn’t be right not to tell him the truth when he was being so honest. Your awkward response is enough to bring that bright beaming smile back to his face and you see an eagerness bloom in his eyes.

“So, let me make it up to you?” He asks while pulling out his phone, “I don’t have a game this weekend, so I’ll be getting out of practice a little earlier than usual. Do you want to grab lunch with me after I’m done?”

“Yeah, sure.” You wished you didn’t sound so flustered, but you couldn’t help it. Even after all the exchanged conversations you’d had, Atsumu was still a bit overwhelming with the way he wore his heart on his sleeve. He hands you his phone so you can put your number in, explaining that you could work out the details of the date as the time got closer. Your heart flutters in your chest and you can hardly believe the excitement in his big brown eyes is for you.

“I should probably let you get to sleep now, huh?” He asks once he tucks his phone back into his jacket pocket. “Sorry for bugging you.”

“You’re not bugging me,” you assure him, feeling brave enough for a moment to meet his gaze. “I’m really looking forward to spending more time with you.” Atsumu’s eyes light up even more at the simple comment and he nods his head.

“Me too!” He bounces on the balls of his feet a couple more times before making up his mind to test his luck and lean in a bit. “Do you mind if I…” He doesn’t finish his thought, instead just taking the risk and pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before backing away sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” You promise and you see the nervous tension leave his shoulders. After a slightly awkward goodbye, Atsumu heads back to his own dorm and you hurry to finish getting ready for bed. Just as you get tucked under your covers and turn out the light, your phone chimes with a message from Atsumu to wish you goodnight. You text him back right away, wondering if you’d even be able to sleep with the way your mind and body buzzed from the unexpected visit. Slowly though, the adrenaline died down and you manage to drift off to sleep, the feeling of Atsumu’s feather light kiss still lingering on your cheek.

[oftenderweapons]

The Studio - Namjoon

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 9.7k words

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Rating: 18+

I told you I’d be back really soon ;) Tonight there’s a lot on schedule! I’ve been working on this piece for two weeks, since it carries a lot for both Namjoon and Vixen, emotionally speaking. It means a lot for me too, since to me it was truly a challenge in terms of the different levels of knowledge that Joon, y/n and the narrator hold. I think I’ve grown a lot in terms of writing even from Tiktok Towel Trick, which I wrote last May, but I’m really proud of myself comparing to what I used to produce a couple years ago.

Now, let me introduce this fic. The piece takes place two or three months after the two have started sleeping together (ideally late January or February). In this piece Vixen visits Joon at the studio after a bad fight and Joon’s self-imposed isolation. The two feel like they’ve come to a dead-end as they wait for the other person to cut ties. Namjoon is suffocated by his job, his tendency to lash out at his closest ones when he’s stressed and his previous traumas; Vixen is locked in her head, shut out by Namjoon and repeatedly accused of infidelity, as a sign of Namjoon’s lack of trust. Will the two manage to work things out?

Description and trigger warnings: The piece was written referring to Namjoon’s Rkive as in his vlive log. There is ANGST. Loads. There is some crying and it is not Vixen’s. Longing and miscommunication. In terms of filth: so much dirty talking the walls exude holy water by now. Unprotected sex (STAY SAFE GUYS!!!!!!!!), DDLG/daddy kink, Masturbation paired up with Voyeurism and Exhibitionism, Fetishism (Shoes, tights and lingerie), Oral (female receiving), Cumplay (eating), Marking, Spanking, Angsty doggy fucking followed by a very soft ride on the sofa. That should be all. Fluff alarm: Namjoon doesn’t want to lose his little fox and Vixen just wants to cuddle her big teddy bear Joon. 

Wordcount: 9.7k

Here is my masterlist

Enjoy!!! 

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Standing in the main corridor of the studios felt very strange. You looked around, uncomfortable, while the receptionist at your side stared at you, waiting. "Don't worry, he's busy all the time. We can wait, no big deal." The fact that you'd been greeted by Namjoon's driver at the entry desk had helped you get to the studios unannounced. "That boy always gets caught up on something. He shouldn't make you wait." He tutted, looking at you with a kind smile. 

"____? What are you doing here?" Taehyung smiled at you brightly, close behind him Hoseok and Yoongi approached with heavy-looking bags on them. 

"Oh, hi. I sort of stopped by for Namjoon." You bit your lip, smiling embarrassedly. 

"He's still in his room. I can show you the way." Taehyung said, grinning. 

Yoongi seemed to be observing him closely while Hoseok looked absolutely oblivious. 

"No, I only have to give him this." You showed them two small bags, one containing food and the other a few things he had left at your place. 

You tried not to let your heartbreak show. 

"Maybe you could bring them to him, I don't want to distract him." 

You smiled but you felt the tears welling up. 

Yoongi's glance moved to you. It felt scorching. "I think you should bring those to him. I think he'd like to see you." His serious tone made you realise that maybe he did know what was happening. Maybe he did know better. 

"I think he'd rather not see me right now." Your lips tightened in a thin line. 

Both the guys turned to Yoongi. "Go, I'll see you tomorrow."

They both patted him on the shoulder and waved at you, Taehyung hugging you close. "It'll be alright. I'll see you."

Taehyung smiled at you, his cute cheeks popping upwards. Maybe it had to do with the fact that you had just granted him an exclusive piece by one of his favourite photographers. Maybe he was just friendly, maybe he simply liked you because he deemed you a decent human being. 

Right at his heels, Hoseok gave you a cute wave, saying bye-bye in a cartoonish voice. 

Beside you, Yoongi shook his head, still sporting a fond smile. "Uhm, I never know whether I should introduce myself. Anyway, we've never met before, so– I'm Yoongi. " He said with a tiny smile, his cheeks jumping upwards. 

You introduced yourself with a small bow. 

"You are just like he described you. He talks about you a lot." He commented. You blushed, almost feeling like dissolving into thin air. You never thought you would meet his friends like this. 

Yoongi looked at your face. "You're exactly his type — in the best way possible." He blushed. "Let's go." He said, leading you. "I actually want to say a few things." He threw his bag on the floor, getting comfortable on the sofa in the common room. "How are you doing?" 

You stared at your feet. "Decent enough."

"I'll be honest, ____. He hasn't been doing good. Not even decent, in my opinion." Yoongi announced, as if trying to prepare you for what you were going to see. "I feel like telling you a couple things about him. He can be hot-headed, and an absolute pain in the ass. He is a perfectionist, and a terrifically clumsy one at that." Yoongi huffed out. "He holds himself to extremely high standards and punishes himself whenever he feels like he's not delivering. And he has the horrible tendency to lash out when he's stressed. He just takes it all out on those who are closest to him." Yoongi patted the spot at his side, inviting you to sit. "I'll be inappropriate, maybe, but I have to say it. You don't have to stay at his side."

The sentence was like a slap to your face. It had never come to your mind to part ways with him. 

"You don't have to put yourself through his tempers and tantrums. You need to be ready to handle those emotionally. If you aren't, I don't think you'll be able to go for the long run." Yoongi looked at you in the eye. "Sorry if I overstepped, usually people come to me to talk, I'm not used to giving unsolicited advice." He blushed and laced his fingers together, laying them on his thighs. 

"I don't want to let go of him, Yoongi." You confessed. 

"Then you should go bring this stuff to him in person. And remember, you don't have to be his therapist. If you want, you can be his partner, walk by his side, but it's not your duty to carry him." The man was incredibly smart and thoughtful. And sensitive. The more you got to know him, the more you understood Namjoon's adoration for him. 

"Thank you so much." You bowed your head briefly, placing your palm on top of his hands. 

He moved one on top of yours, patting gently. "Let's go find your grumpy bear, uh?" 

With a groaned "aigoo" He pushed himself up, standing on his feet like an old man before bending to catch the strap of his bag. "This way." 

He led you through the winding corridors until you recognised the door to Namjoon's studio. "Go on. Knock politely and be smart. Discuss. Negotiate. Compromise. And be kind to each other." He gave you the official salute and left. 

You found yourself staring at the door, wondering if he'd roar at you for interrupting him. 

The room sounded quiet. 

You counted to three. Knocked. 

"Come in." Said his voice with a weak rumble. He was probably distracted. 

His studio was warm and welcoming, if a bit clustered. The lights were low and yellowy, coming from his desk and contrasting with the white gleam of his computer screen, still you could see everything perfectly in the slight penumbra, your eyes perusing your surroundings. It was easy to see why his apartment felt like a hotel room: he barely spent time there while this place really felt like home. It felt like stepping into his soul. Small sculptures and toys and collectibles were neatly lined in his bookcase together with some books. Then the baby shoes. Art catalogues. Candles. Art. A drape too big for the wall, but still there, a painting, probably from Yoongi, since you vaguely recognised his style. On the back wall, you noticed two drapes embroidered in traditional patterns. The floor was covered in thick cream carpets with geometric prints that reminded you of tribal symbols. And sweet lord, that was his wooden, swoon-worthy, customised low table, matching with the piece by the door holding one of his bonsai. A comfy couch with a fluffy, warm blanket, and embroidered pillows. You were mesmerised. You didn't have time to take it all in, your glance running from the upright piano to the microphone standing beside his chair. He didn't turn around, he kept staring at the screen, typing every now and then. His beautiful desk was crowded with stationery, electronic devices, a keyboard and all kinds of knicknacks. 

"What is– oh. Hi." His expression was ice-cold. 

"Hi. I was passing by, I wanted to bring you some stuff you'd left at mine."

His heart froze. This is the end then.

He'd been avoiding it for almost two weeks, hiding from you in his studio, even though the only things he could write were heartbreaking blue rhymes that had Jimin and Jeongguk exchanging pitying glances. 

The beginning of this tragedy was almost comedic in its stupid futility. It was just him incapable of perfecting a pre-chorus. A dumb verse or something. He had called you, talked it out but apparently all he did was just turn down your ideas and suggestions, snapping at you until you exhaustedly told him that you were tired and needed some sleep. He took that as you umpteenth sign that you didn't care about him — which you both knew was entirely wrong — and caused a huge fight which ended on you telling him to go fuck himself, at which he unceremoniously replied that he was okay with that since you were clearly already fucking someone else. 

You didn't bother correcting him, since no matter how many times you told him, he always seemed to get back at you being unfaithful and uncaring. You were done justifying yourself, apologising for things you had never done. 

"Uhm. I also brought you some food. I didn't know if you had already eaten."

He looked at you like you had finally lit a candle in a dark and cold room. 

Your heart broke some more. You asked yourself if there was any more breaking to do, at this point. 

You figured there was the moment you heard his hoarse voice speak. "Let's eat together."

You didn't have the guts to deny him. 

You laid the bags on the small table and took off your coat. He stood on his feet immediately, crossing the room in a few broad steps and hugging you to his chest. 

Let it hurt. You told yourself. It heals faster like that. 

His palms settled at your waist and his eyes closed. He breathed you in. He had never felt something really end. His exes were like a song slowly slipping into a diminuendo until they became silence. His interest burned out, his curiosity simply died down and the feelings never seemed to grow fully. They felt like a balloon which was never supposed to be blown that big. This thing with you was like a song being stopped mid-chorus, silence biting in where it wasn't supposed to be. Is this what the end feels like? He asked himself as he held you tighter, one of his hands climbing up and burrowing into your hair. He pressed your face into his chest, where his heartbeat was so strong and so loud that you asked yourself if you could somehow amplify it, if your body could register it and replay it once you were alone in your bed, mourning over this. "You feel taller." He said, noticing how your forehead reached his lips instead of slotting under his jaw. 

"I still have my heels on." You replied. 

"Wanna take 'em off?" He asked. 

You shook your head. "No, if that's not a problem. 

He breathed out heavily. He interpreted your refusal as a sign that first, you were keeping your tough-woman shield up — which he couldn't blame you — and second, you weren't intending to stay long. 

You tried to part yourself from him. "One more second, little Vixen. Just a second." He whispered. 

You allowed him. 

"Come on, dinner is getting cold." You said softly. 

He didn't let you go, he simply loosened his grip and dragged you to the sofa. He was willing to keep you as close as he could until you ripped the bandaid off, unraveling this small spell that had turned his life into a perfect, dreamlike snowball. 

Sitting on the sofa, he made you sit beside him, your side sticking to his from shoulder to hip to knee to ankle. 

It was all too much but you didn't have the strength to part from him. He bent down and opened the small boxes. 

It was fried chicken. 

Like the first time at his place, at two am, naked in his bed after he had owned you in every way that mattered. 

He loved fried chicken. And now it would always mean you to him. 

No chimaek after fucking with anyone else. He wanted to keep it for you, in case one day you decided to come back, and he would say he had never done that with anyone else, that he had been waiting for you. Because some part of him told him that you would come back. 

Both your brains were going on the same path, already mourning someone who was right there in that moment, but already felt so far away. The room was quiet but both your minds were screaming, thinking so loud that the silence was welcome. 

"I got you fried chicken. I know you love it." 

I love you, his brain replied. But his mouth stayed silent. It was too late anyway. 

"Thank you." He said brusquely. He reprimanded himself for sounding so harsh. 

"It's okay." You said quietly, using the lid to grab a couple pieces out of the ten or so. You didn't feel like eating and he always ate two thirds of the box anyway. 

He exchanged one of your wings for a leg. "You prefer the leg." He said with a shy smile, trying to make up for the coldness he had shown previously. 

You had been sleeping with Namjoon for three months now, spending all your spare time together at his place, sometimes moving in for the weekend, the both of you leaving your job early so you could spend Friday afternoon together and go on small dates. He usually had his schedule on Saturdays and Sundays too, so it wasn't uncommon for you to spend several hours alone at his place. You had made small improvements, making his house feel more like a home with small handmade crafts. And when he came back, you would usually try to keep it chill but eventually you ended up in bed, or on the sofa, or the kitchen counter. Or the carpet on the corridor leading to his bedroom. Or the shower. Let's just say that you would be all over each other. 

You thought how different it would be now, and how difficult it would be to get him out of your system. 

"How is it going." You asked quietly after you swallowed your first bite. 

"Tough. I'm polishing some stuff, but this is the part where I doubt everything and want to rewrite all of it." He explained, his fingers gripping the chicken with a precision and finesse that reminded you of his delicate, careful side. 

"You'll get through it. You're a pro by now. And I'm sure you have excellent taste. You know what you want and you'll find your way to it." You praised him, rubbing your shoulder against him since your fingers were dirty. 

He leaned his head on your shoulder, shrinking down to reach you. "Thank you."

The more time passed, the more you realised he still hadn't said sorry for what he had implied during that phone call. 

"That's okay."

"How have you been doing?" He asked, trying not to let his worry show. It still showed, though. 

You decided on being honest. "I've been missing you."

He paused eating. "I've been missing you too." He put down the chicken, using the ball of his wrists to press against his temples. "I'm sorry about what I said that day. I know my past relationships and nerves are not valid excuses for how I treated you, but I got swallowed in those and I dragged you in."

You looked at the leg and finished munching on it, stripping the bone of the last few strings of meat. You put down the naked bone, licking your fingers. "You never talked about your most recent ex." You commented. 

He picked up his head. "To put it simply, I was her side piece." He said, plainly. "She was getting married to someone else. And she messed around with me." He looked at his feet. "At the beginning I didn't know. It lasted around eight months, as she was waiting for her fiancé to finish his military service. After I discovered it, we kept going for a couple weeks, but I found the whole thing so upsetting and disgusting that we parted ways. Her fiance forgave her and they got married a while ago, a few weeks before I met you." He snickered sarcastically. "I even sent them flowers." 

You blinked distractedly. "Joon, I'm so sorry, baby." You brushed your forehead against his arm. 

"It's cool. I mean, it's not since I'm still traumatised by it. I've been talking about it with my analyst, but it's been a while since I last went, almost three weeks, because this project had been swallowing me whole — after chewing me a little, clearly." He had his exhausted laugh on. 

You felt like you needed to talk about the whole story about that girl, but right now he didn't seem in the right mindset to do that. For now, knowing that he knew he had a bias and he was tackling the issue with a therapist was enough.

"Have you been sleeping, babe?" All the breaking up was momentarily suspended. There was something to save here. You had a lot you still wanted to save from this. 

He seemed relieved when you called him that. Don't get your hopes up. He shook his head. "A couple hours at a time. Small naps when I'm tired."

"Okay, so once you're done eating, we're gonna take a good, long nap."

He didn't want to sleep though. He wanted to hold you close, kiss you, make sure that he did everything he could to make you stay. The meal continued quietly, and as soon as you were fed he asked you about your job, how it was going, if you had any new clients or if you had met any new artists. You replied to each question fully, telling him about curious accidents and little inconveniences. 

And he listened. He had missed your voice and it felt good to listen to someone who wasn't himself or the boys' voices over speakers and headphones. 

As you were both done with dinner, he guided you to the bathroom, standing behind you as you washed your hands. He took some soap, foaming it up between his hands before he caught your left palm within his, pressing and rubbing them together to clean you up. And then he laced his fingers with yours, lathering your digits in bubbles and making sure that the sticky sauce from the chicken disappeared completely. He moved to the other hand as you laid your head against his chest at his collarbone, tipping it back so you could stare at him. You were sure you had never adored someone this much. He turned slightly to look at you, smiling softly. He bent down and pressed his lips to yours gently. No man, no person in the world had ever touched you or kissed you like he has. No one has ever talked to you like him, showed you their world like he has. He reluctantly parted from your lips. 

He led your joined hands to close the tap, moving to the hand dryer. It felt all too intimate. 

"Joon." 

"Let's get back to my studio, yeah?" He whispered in your ear. You nodded. 

He laced his hand with yours. 

Once you reached the studio, he quietly dragged you to the sofa, pulling at your arm so that you fell with your ass on his lap. He hugged you again. "I am so sorry about what I said. You have told me countless times that I'm the only one."

"You hurt me, Namjoon." You said quietly. 

It felt like a slap, his full name. 

"Let me make it right." He kissed your cheek and your eyes fell shut. "I want you."

And you wanted him too. You thought yourself crazy for wanting a man so complicated, someone who had disrespected you, who had repeatedly and blatantly demonstrated his lack of trust towards you. Still, when you needed reassurance, affection and devotion, your bodies always came into play, talking with a language so simple and obvious to each other that you simply nodded, whispering "I want you too."

With his index finger he turned your head, kissing you square on the lips and forcing you to part them, his tongue sweeping in your mouth, making your head spin with the intimacy and intensity of it all. 

Let him take you, if that would reassure him that you only thought about him, you wanted only him and no one else. 

His free hand curled around your thigh, climbing up under the tight knee-length dress you were wearing. The woolen grey number was the first thing to come off as he tugged it over your head and off his way. "You're so gorgeous," He murmured painfully, looking at you and taking in every small detail. "A work of art, little Vixen." He kissed your shoulder. 

You smiled shyly, trying to straddle his waist. He toyed with the lace covering your breasts and nipples, teasing them with his fingers until they pressed hard against the fabric. Next he fooled around with the waistband of your tights, making you stand between his legs as he dragged the nylon down your thighs and calves. He stared at your feet, where the garment bunched up, noticing your black stilettos. "Off." He whispered, tapping his foot against yours. Once you took off the shoes, he bent down to help your feet out of your tights. He bit your leg harshly, leaving a mark behind. "Heels on again, Vixen."

Smiling darkly, you slipped them back on, shivering a little, but so happy to wear your favourite black lace set and stilettos for him. 

"Walk for me?" He asked, making you put on a little show. 

And God, did you enjoy it. His jaw went slack at the Brazilian cut of your panties, exposing to his hungry eyes the perfect curve of your ass, the way it swelled fully before meeting with the back of your thigh. 

That was his favourite place to bite. And spank. 

You did a small catwalk with your back to him, reaching his chair, which you turned around from his desk to the sofa. Facing the chair, you bent forward, your thumbs catching the fabric of your panties at your sides and pushing them down as you bent forward, offering him the whole panorama. 

He groaned. "I'm gonna get an heart attack, baby." 

You smiled at him viciously over your shoulder, letting your lower piece of underwear fall to the floor. Next you dragged your full palm up the curve of your ass, smacking it playfully as your fingers made their way to the clasp of your bra. 

"You're gonna kill me, Vixen." He cried out. 

Bra undone, you let both strings fall down your shoulders, removing one side first and letting the garment dangle from the other side, making your arm fall and drop the delicate lace ordeal. 

Your smile disappeared in an innocent pout when you turned around, completely naked except for your shoes. 

"I'm gonna sit here." You announced, waiting for his approval. 

He nodded eagerly. "Make yourself comfy, Vixen."

You sat down, crossing your legs and propping your elbows on your knees. Shyness was not a word in your vocabulary in that moment. Your only intention was that of distracting him from whatever it was that was mauling his brain. 

"Are you going to make me wait, Joon." You teased demandingly. 

He stared at you, meeting your glance. "Stay there and sit still." He ordered before grabbing the hem of his sweater and pushing it upwards, taking off both sweater and undershirt in the process. His upper body appeared, a bit skinnier than two weeks ago but maybe it was just the distance and the slouching position. His sweatpants were taut around his lap and you bit your lip as your eyes traced the outline of his length. He laid his palm there, stroking himself over the cotton. "Missed you so much, baby." He groaned and huffed. His eyes closed, his hand grew tense, stronger and heavier. Licking your lips, you kept staring at him, squeezing your thighs as he touched himself for you. 

He was hot, all the time, but this… This felt like a fever dream. You were soaked. Thank god his chair was leather and it could be cleaned easily.

He moaned your name, his eyes struggling to open enough to look at you. His voice was so deep and needy, mixed with heavy huffs. "Namjoon." You whined. 

He opened his eyes fully, his hand coming to a halt. It was like a cold shower. He was reminded why you were doing this, why you had come to this, the sudden distance that had come within the two of you. "What is it, baby?" 

You pushed your ass against the chair, looking for friction. "Come here. Touch me." You begged. 

It pained him seeing you so needy and whiny and stressed. "Listen to me, baby thing. Listen very carefully." He wanted to reassure you but he couldn't come to you. "I need you to touch yourself, little one. Can you do that for me? I promise I'll touch you after you cum, baby, but I want to see you first." He asked, palming himself again. 

You licked your lips. "Can I?" You questioned innocently, placing your palm on your thigh, your fingertips grazing your crotch. 

"You can, doll. Do it for me." He growled, pushing his fingers under his waistband, grabbing his hard on at the base and stroking it as you parted your legs, exposing your wetness. You were beautiful, naked on his chair, dragging your middle finger along your dripping slit. Your other hand grabbed your breast. 

"You're a vision, Vixen. You're magnificent, pretty thing."

"I want your tongue, daddy." You mewled, your finger dipping inside, emerging covered in glossy wetness. 

He groaned, taking his cock out of his pants, moving the waistband to his thighs. “I’m gonna eat you later, pretty doll. I’ve been starving for weeks for that sweet cunt of yours.” His erection immediately sprung up, arching to his belly button, the lower tendon looking so inviting along that thick vein that always had him throwing his head back whenever you traced it with the tip of your front teeth. As your fingers met your clit, eliciting a whine from your throat, he used four fingers to press on the vein, his thumb already playing with the tip. His hands always looked incredible whenever he used them on himself, strong fingers and spidery tendons making the vision sinfully erotic. However, he was lost in you as much as you were lost in him, his lips parted, his breath panting while you opened your legs wider, using two fingers in small upward circles that teased the underside of your clit. You felt a chill run down your spine, your legs trembling and closing a little with an involuntary reflex. You giggled at that, closing your eyes and moving your grip to the armrest of the chair. Your upper body inched forward a little and your hand stopped. 

“Too much, babygirl?” He asked and you smiled brightly, nodding. 

You’re gonna miss it, the way she smiles when you’re doing it right, his brain reminded him and as a way to shut it up, he stroked himself faster, with more pressure, his spare hand brushing his abdomen and moving upwards, spreading over his pectoral, scratching the skin there before his thumb and forefinger curved around the base of his neck, pressing there. 

You observed the motion, unpausing the movement between your thighs and humming as he gave you his desperate stare, the one that meant that he couldn’t take it anymore, that he was on the verge of it and even the smallest addition to the current situation would have him screaming and cumming.

“Joonie, lemme get close. Cum in my mouth, Joon, please.” You whined. 

“No, naughty girl. Stay there and cum for daddy.” He groaned. “Come on, baby, I’m waiting for you.” He said, with a harsh and strained command. 

Arching your neck, you started moving faster, opening your legs as far as the armrests allowed, but they only allowed an inch more than what you already had. Huffing with disappointment, you closed them and propped the back of your right knee on top of the armrest and repeated the gesture with your left leg, spreading yourself wide, almost hitting a split with your legs bent at the knees. 

“God, you’re the dirtiest. You stretching it out for me? You’re so good, showing daddy how wet you are for him.” He teased, using that raspy voice that he knew always drives you insane. 

With short, quick breaths you brought yourself closer and closer to the edge. “Daddy, please, keep talking to me.”

His hand slowed down. “Need to hear my voice, babygirl?”

You nodded and he snickered. “Then I’ll talk to you, little one. You know what I’m gonna do after you cum? I’m gonna crawl to you and kneel between those wondrous legs of yours. I’m gonna push your ass to the edge of the seat and feast on you like I’m trying to die eating that pussy. And do you know what you’re gonna do, Vixen?” He provoked. 

You shook your head. “What am I going to do, daddy?” You questioned innocently, your words stumbling a few times as your breath got stuck somewhere in your throat.

“Oh, little fox, you’re gonna grab my hair and push that lovely cunt on my lips and tongue, fucking my face so hard and fast, pressing your sexy heels on my naked shoulders. I want to hear you gasp for air because I make you cum so good you forget to breathe, you forget how to speak.”

“Joon, I’m cumming.” You cried out, your legs starting to quiver and your clit getting too sensitive to stand the movement of your fingers, slipping them inside and pushing them in slow circles around your cervix. 

His fingers moved back to the tip, the other hand massaging his balls. “Take it, Vixen, that’s it baby. I’m cumming, ____.” He moaned your name, spilling his release on his lower stomach. 

You were still staring at each other with your chests heaving, eyes wild, hands stained by your pleasure. It was always the two of you. Always getting caught up in each other, always getting tangled in each other's fantasies with this constant lust pulling you in and never having enough. You wondered when the hunger would stop, when you would grow tired of his insecurity and possessiveness, when he would find out you're too kinky, too needy, too fucked up for a busy man like him to handle. 

He cleaned his hand with one of the unused paper towels from dinner, crumbling it and throwing it in the box with the garbage from dinner. 

"Joonie." You whispered, waiting. 

"Coming, baby fox." He replied, standing up and taking off his sweatpants and boxers, walking straight to you. You closed your legs, a bit cold and embarrassed now that your high was over. Standing right in front of you, he cupped your cheek, making you look up at his face, however, even though your head was tipped back, aimed at his eyes, your glance hung low, staring at the droplets smearing his abdomen. "What are you looking at, spoiled little fox?" He said, with a sardonic smile. 

"I wanna lick."

He grinned and scooped some liquid with his digit, bringing it to your lips. 

Parting your lips, you licked your lower one first, then you let your tongue dart out and swipe at his finger, carefully sucking it into your mouth before he lowered his eyes, staring into yours and smirking seducingly as he pulled his digit out. You smacked your lips and savoured his taste, your eyelids falling shut as you hummed at his flavour. 

His cock, once half soft, was now hardening again, swelling intermittently and slowly rising to his navel. But Namjoon's eyes were focused on your face. "Want more?" He asked once your eyes opened and your gaze focused on his face. With a sex-addled, lazy grin you nodded, opening your mouth. 

He grinned right back. "Such a hungry little girl."

Impatient, you grabbed his hips, pulling him towards you and licking his belly clean. He groaned, observing you closely. 

I'm going to teach her some patience and some manners, he thought darkly. However, he immediately reminded himself that he would never have the time, your liaison coming to an end.

With this unfortunate thought, he cupped your face. "I'm the one supposed to be eating now, ____. Let me take care of you, darling." He said, before falling to his knees. Immediately he pushed the back of the chair to the table, so that it wouldn't cartwheel out of his grasp. 

Once more you asked yourself how many times he had done that before, thinking about how the relationship with the bride-to-be must have been mostly sexual, since you don't usually have much romance and dates with someone who is taken. Even though he didn't know she was taken. Whatever. 

In that moment he was there, kneeling before you, placing your heels on his shoulders, cupping your ass and tipping it forward so he could easily and comfortably give you that first, glorious lick from your hole to your clit. "Taste so good." He said, nuzzling his lips side to side as he spoke, mixing the movement to the vibration of his voice. He bit the small tattoo at the top of your thigh, where it met your pelvis, just shy of your hip bone. "Sexy little thing." He kissed it. "Drove me insane since day one." As usual, he sucked at it, causing a dark purple mark to bloom over it. "Fucking perfect."

He laid his tongue flat against your slit drawing the tiniest circles with the whole length of it. 

You hand-combed his hair back, holding it so you could look into his dragon eyes. He looked vicious and dangerous and so cunning, so smart in the most atrocious way. 

"Namjoon." You moaned, your hips arching closer to his mouth. 

He snickered cockily, moving his tongue slowly back into his mouth, allowing only the tip to wander up your crevice and reach the apex of your labia. He delivered a set of ten licks, slow and curling perfectly against your nub. "Are you good, little fox?" He asked. 

You nodded and pushed his head back between your legs. 

He laughed loudly, fighting against you. "I'm not done talking, brat." He bit your lower belly gently. "I'm gonna pump your clit with my mouth, Vixen. I'll suck it twenty times, then I'll let you rest until I'm ready again. I'll keep going until you cum. Remember that after twenty I'll pause. This could easily turn into edgeplay, baby, so you'd better get very horny very fast. You okay, Vixen?"

He checked on you and you nodded, impatient to simply have him on your clit.

"Be verbal, little girl." He reprimanded.

"Yes, daddy."

"Good girl. Let's get started."

He wasted no time. He wrapped his lips around your clit and started sucking, sucking so hard that you knew the following day his jaw and ears would hurt. At pump fifteen you already knew you needed more than twenty to cum. And as twenty arrived you whined but you felt confident that the next set would suffice. 

This time you felt your edge at twelve, still you needed more. You were getting wetter and wetter, so soaked that his saliva and your slick mixed up and made you feel uncomfortable between your asscheeks. 

"Joon–" You said, at which he mumbled "language" in between two pumps. 

"Daddy, I want your fingers inside." You said, indulging his every whim. 

He fumbled around with his arms, securing you with his left, making sure that your backside wouldn't get too close to the edge of the seat, and cause you to fall. His right arm moved back to your front, his index and middle finger coming to your entrance and waiting, his drool sliding from his tongue down your slit and directly on his fingers which, now lubricated, slipped in with no friction or resistance. The pressure was mind-blowing, your head spinning. "Daddy, please."

"Please what?" He said, hitting his pause. 

"Make me cum. Let me." You asked, as meekly as you could. 

"Why should I, uh?" He teased. 

"Because I am a good girl." Because I love you, said an obnoxious part of your brain. 

"Then I need you to say it one last time, Vixen. I know I've tormented you, but I need to ask it once and for all. Is there anyone else?" He said, his voice almost breaking. 

"No, Namjoon. I swear to God, there's no one else. I promise it. I swear on everything that I love the most. Please." You begged, hoping that he would feel the desperate honesty in your voice. "Please. You're my only daddy. I have you, only you. I am yours." You said, and God if it felt right, if it felt true, being his, belonging to him. 

Tell him you love him, your brain said again, but you refused. 

He smiled brightly at your declaration. "We're done playing, if you want to, Vixen."

You simply nodded, batting your lashes at him. "I want to."

"Then hold tight because I'm not going to stop until you're fucking my face and screaming my name and shaking on this seat. Understood?" He warned you. 

"Yes, daddy." You replied. 

"Then hold tight, baby fox. I'm gonna eat you alive."

"Try." You challenged him. 

And that's when he pounced. His pumps became longer, impossibly tighter, and the small pause between one and the next became shorter. Your eyes locked with his, brows knitting together, lips parting in a mewl as you threw your head back. "Namjoon. Please, daddy." 

Smirking, he mixed the pumping motion with a barely-there curl of his tongue, teasing your clit with such delicate pressure that you couldn't even wrap your head around the incredible amount of tension that it was causing in your body. Your hands tightened in his hair, your moans dissolving into small giggles. 

He wanted to tell you how good you sounded, how pretty you looked, how he wanted to see this every day for the rest of his life. He loved seeing you this happy, this carried away. He loved your morning voice and your late night cuddles. He loved breakfast in bed and midnight snacks and three a.m. quickies. He loved watching you take off your bra from under your t-shirt before going to bed, he loved seeing you shiver as you went to the bathroom early in the morning, clad in his t-shirt, plain cotton briefs and a pair of socks even in the dead of winter, since he always kept you warm under the covers by holding you close. He wanted to confess it all: the heartwarming wonder he felt staring at you had when you focused while reading and studying, when you brushed your hair, when you got dressed before leaving for the day, when you stood at the kitchen counter, cooking, with your back to him, and again when you applied lotion all over your body after showering, when he kissed your nape, standing behind you and donning the zipper of your dress. 

However, he stayed silent, showing it all with the reckless ministrations of his mouth as your chest blushed, your hands grabbed his hair almost painfully and your hips snapped, your mouth opening in a silent scream. 

You hadn't even bothered telling him you were cumming. He knew anyway. His mouth became more gentle, resolving to small licks while his fingers massaged your walls deep and slow, perfectly responding to the contractions of your muscles. "Here, pretty thing." He murmured, his hair tickling the skin of your stomach. "I've got you, baby. Shhh." He calmed you down, your breath coming in heavy pants, your heartbeat going like crazy. He rubbed his soaked fingers against his thigh, briefly cleaning himself before coming up to your face, cupping your cheeks. "Are you okay, little one?"

You nodded with your eyes closed, getting sleepy. 

He caressed your face. "Open your eyes for me, baby girl, let me see your pretty eyes." 

With a beatific smile you tried to look at him, eyelids lifting, taking a few seconds to focus on him. 

"There she is, my moonshine." He cooed, pressing a kiss to your lips. "You look really happy, baby thing."

You simply moved your head in a nod. 

"Do you want more, little fox?" He asked, still fussing over you. "Can you take it just one more time, babe?" 

Licking your lips you nodded again with a giggle. 

He smiled. "You keep nodding, baby. Are you saying yes to daddy?" 

"Yes, Joonie." You whispered slowly. 

"Good girl. Can you walk, Vixen?" 

"Yes."

"Great. I want you to kneel in front of the coffee table, darling." He commanded, rising to his feet and helping you stand up. 

This would be the last time, he decided. 

He would allow himself your heaven just one more time, then he would hold you close for a few minutes, clean you up, accompany you home and let you go. He wasn't man enough to look into your eyes. He was weak and unfair. He turned you around with your back to him, his erection brushing against the small of your back. Once you were in front of the table, he moved your hair to the side, skimming the curve of your ear with his lower lip. "Kneel, Vixen."

You did. 

He kneeled behind you, moving the books and magazines on the floor, away from the two of you, while the traces of your dinner were thrown into the bag, which he would discard later. With an empty table, he pushed his palm from the small of your back to your nape, making your front adhere to the table and making sure that your hair was out of the way. "I know you love this table." He murmured. 

"I do."

"I do, too." His heart felt like a burden. Without further hesitation, he grabbed his length and rubbed his tip against you. "You ready, ____?" 

"Please."

With a groan he slipped in, the filling sensation causing a loud whine on your behalf. "Quiet." He reprimanded. 

You got a little scared at his dark voice, knowing that at this point you'd better obey. However, it lasted little. Once he bottomed out, he growled, bending down to your neck. "You good, little one?" He said, his sweet persona back in place. 

"Yes, daddy."

He was breathing heavily through his nose as he sucked at the skin of your neck, marking you. As soon as he was sure the mark would bruise and stay for at least a couple days, he released your skin. "Do you want your spanks, baby girl?" 

Your eyes rolling with pleasure, you hummed. "I want them so much, daddy. Spank me, please."

He simply breathed. "With pleasure, little one." He knew no one would ever be this good to him. 

His chest parted from your back, a small shiver settling in instead. 

The first smack was harsh, angry. You clenched around him and he thrusted in violently, growling. 

The second one hit the tender skin of your outer thigh, where it met your ass. "Daddy." You whined. 

"Quiet." He chastised again, his voice strained. He hammered into you four or five times. 

"Daddy, it hurts." You cried out, at which he stayed silent, simply spanking you again, twice, without rubbing soothingly at your skin. You emitted a shrill huffing sound of complaint, at which he answered with violent ramming into you, using both hands to push you onto his lap. 

This was not how Joon usually did it. This was not normal. With worry distracting your mind, you turned your head, looking at him. His eyes were closed, droplets falling down his cheeks. Was it sweat or tears? 

"Namjoon?" You asked, alarmed. 

He shook his head, biting his lip. "You good?" He asked, eyes still closed. 

"Stop." You murmured. 

He obeyed, exiting your warmth and opening his eyes, still avoiding your gaze contact. "Did I—?"

"Look at me." 

He shook his head. "I can't." 

"Namjoon." You reprimanded. 

As your eyes met his, you noticed they were rimmed with tears, and he was biting his lip to hold back a sob, shaking his head in shame. 

Your initial shock was followed by an overwhelming sense of tenderness for the beautiful, delicate man in front of you. 

You quickly decided what to do. 

You turned around fully, facing him as you stood on your knees, your hands caressing his cheeks. "What is it, Joonie bear?" 

He simply frowned and hid in the crook of your neck, desperate. 

"What is it?" You asked again. 

He nuzzled even more into your chest, inhaling the damp feel of your skin. "I just want it to be a good memory." He huffed with a broken whisper. 

A memory? "Why would it be a memory, Namjoon?" You asked, confused. 

"If it's our last time, I wanna be good to you." He said, and you could feel every ounce of sadness in his voice. 

Last time? "Joonie bear, why would it be our last time?" 

His shoulders shook with sobs as he stopped holding back his tears. "I've been a bastard, it's okay if you want to go." He tried saying in his most composed voice.

You frowned in confusion. "No, Namjoon."

"You want to leave me. It's okay. I need it only one last time."

You shook your head, trying to grab his chin and make him look at you. However, he strongly opposed. 

"Joonie." You murmured, hugging his head and caressing his hair. "I'm not here to leave you." You whispered. "I want to be with you." You continued. 

He shook his head even more. "I was dumb. You have every right—" 

"No." You kissed his head, caressing his shoulders, hugging him tight. "I'm not going anywhere." 

He looked up at you, his face covered in tears. 

"Oh, baby bear." You cooed, touching his cheeks, kissing his forehead. "Don't cry, Joonie." He disappeared even more into you, hugging your entire figure, dwarfing you. "Don't cry, my love." You whispered, the word tiptoeing out of your lips. He sobbed harder. "I'm so in love with you, Joonie bear." You crooned, offering him all your soul in those simple, childish words. 

"You love me?" He asked, confused, alarmed, petrified. 

"I love you, Namjoon." You repeated. 

He completely forgot his messy face and brought his lips to yours, his mouth melting into you eagerly as your tongues spoke a language that came so natural to both of you. 

Breathless, he parted from you. "I love you. I love you so much." He pressed tens of kisses on your face with such speed and pressure that you felt like disappearing into him. 

"I love you too." You giggled, trying to clean his face. 

You both laughed, elated, his hands coming to your waist, holding you closer and closer. "I wanna make love to you." He whispered. "Let me love you."

"Missionary on the carpet or cowgirl on the sofa?" You asked. 

"Why choose when you can have both?" He wiggled an eyebrow. You smiled. He smiled back. "Let's get on the sofa." He replied gently. "You'll catch a cold with your sweaty back on the freezing floor."

"But no missionary on the sofa…" You cried out like a child. 

He smiled. "Do you want missionary so bad?" He kissed your temple, smiling. 

"I guess I'll be happy with anything you want." You pouted, still doubtful. 

"C'mere." He said, getting even closer. You slipped your stilettos off and he picked you up by the back of your thighs and with some strength you didn't know he had, he carried you to the sofa, careful not to step on your shoes. "I'm going to sit. Careful with your legs." He warned, plopping down as carefully and as gently as he could, mercifully avoiding to sit with your calves underneath him. 

"Don't worry, I won't make you ride me, baby." He kissed your brow. "You're too tired for that." He cradled you to his chest, offering you a bit of his body heat. "Can you push it inside you for me, love?" He asked seducingly, kissing your neck. 

You smiled and reached between your bodies. He was already pulsating, you knew he would come undone in a few strokes. Slowly, you lifted your hips and pushed his tip inside, making him groan. 

"You're always so tight, babylove. Fuck, you feel amazing." He sucked at your neck some more, drawing a twin bruise to the one you had on the other side of your throat. "I feel like a fucking teenager with you. I can never get enough." His hips jutted a little, pushing into you while his forearm around your waist pulled you down, his hand gripping your ass. 

"Daddy." You breathed out, your forehead pressed against his neck as he bottomed out. 

"Yes?" He replied, soothing you with long caresses down your spine. "Does it hurt, doll?" 

He had so many nicknames for you but you couldn't wait for your next. "No, daddy." He held your face away from his shoulder. "Are you sure babylove?" 

Your face stretched in a slight grimace. "Maybe."

He giggled and kissed your cheek, sliding down to your mouth. "I'm sorry, Vixen." He pressed his lips to yours once and then again. "I'm so sorry, baby. For everything." He combed your hair back. "I can't promise you I'll never hurt you, but I can promise I'll try to make it better every single time." He held you close as your brow furrowed. "I love you." He whispered, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other pressing on your lower back. 

"I love you too." You said right back. "But please, Joonie…" 

"Need me to move?" He asked.

"I want you to cum." You murmured. 

He smirked and nodded. "Want me to finger you?" He asked, already drawing short thrusts into you and helping you ride him with his forearm around you. 

"Yes, please, daddy." You whined.

His right hand left the crown of your head, coming to the top of your thighs and beginning to draw small circles at the apex of your labia, the flat of his thumb wide enough to cover your bundle of nerves entirely.

"Would you like to take your time, Vixen?" He asked kindly, knowing that sometimes it took you a bit longer than him to actually get worked up. 

"I just need you to keep going exactly like this. You're perfect, Joonie."

He grunted and started pushing into you from below. "Like this?" He said, his voice a tad strained. 

His thrusts were low and deep, curling just enough to hit your sweet spot. He realised you started holding your breath. Usually that meant you were close. 

He bent his head, looking down where your bodies joined. It was hypnotizing, his thumb drawing perfectly identical circles. He started kissing and licking any and every inch of skin that came close to his mouth, your shoulder, your chest, your neck, sucking whenever he managed to grip the skin for long enough to bruise and mark. 

When you started shoving yourself on him, bouncing in earnest, he kept his cool and stopped fooling around, staying focused on lasting long enough, doing the exact same thing, knowing that with a few thrusts delivered just right, you would become like putty in his arms and he could just get crazy and chase his high. 

With your lips parting in a high pitched moan, you pressed your hips to his two more times before your chest collapsed into his with a tired whimper. "Take what you need." You murmured before propping yourself with your forearms against the back of the sofa, lifting your hips. Your face was pressed at the crook beneath his jaw, your tongue blindly chasing the droplets of sweat sliding down the column of his throat. He emitted an animalistic groan before his palms thudded heavily against your glutes, gripping your hips so hard that both his knuckles and your flesh turned white. And then he started ramming into you from below. The sounds in the room were a mix of his grunts, the smacking of flesh and the wetness between your legs, but more quietly, under all those layers, in between a groan and the next, there were his whispered love declarations, which poured out of his mouth like prayers, until he was so close, so fucked out that he could only repeat 'I love you', over and over, interrupted only by a final howl as he spilled inside you. 

In all of this you had tried to stay quiet, shushing him and kissing his neck, not sure that you were allowed to mark him. 

You laid both exhausted, his body sliding sideways down the sofa, trying to rest on the seats, his head laying on an armrest as his ankles dangling from the other. You covered him like a blanket, your hair draping over his chest and tumbling down the edge of the sofa. 

You were both sweaty and messy with cum and drool, still you simply laid there, until you felt too cold and shivered. 

"Blanket?" You asked. 

He shook his head. "I'd better dress you and take you back at mine. I can go home tonight. There's no use working late. I need to rest anyway."

"Are you sure." You asked, touching his face. 

He kissed your wrist. "Sure."

"I have to clean your chair first. I should have some wet wipes in my handbag." You mumbled. "And I should clean myself too before I drip on your lovely sofa."

He hummed, tired, fake-crying as he said "I don't wanna get up."

"My bag is right beside the sofa, just stretch your arm backward." You directed him. 

He fumbled around a bit, moving the bag from behind his head to your side, where you could easily reach inside. After a bit of rummaging, you fished out your wipes, making a quick work of pulling him out and cleaning yourself. 

"Cold." He muttered with a pout, which you kissed away from his face. 

"Come on, baby bear, get up and get dressed. I wanna shower with you and shower you in kisses." You pampered him, trying to convince him to get ready to leave. 

He whined as you sat up, quickly dashing to recoup your underwear. Once you were wearing it, you cleaned his chair, quite happy when you noticed that it wasn't half as bad as you though. When you turned, you noticed he was staring at you, already completely dressed, your dress in his hands. You moved closer.

"Up with your arms, love." He said gently, and for a second you realised that your simple and emotional confessions weren't a mirage caused by arousal or desperation. 

You followed his instructions as he helped you wear your dress, slipping it over your head and helping you find both sleeves. Next he gripped the hem at both sides, delicately rolling the fabric down your body. Once it reached your knees, he let his hands skim back up your hips and waist, crossing his wrists behind your back before squeezing your ass. He stared at your throat. 

"Will I have to wear a turtleneck for the next ten days?" You asked, slipping the neck of your dress aside and checking the damage. 

"Sorry." He murmured. 

"It's okay. I like it. I'm just teasing you." You said with a playful smirk. 

"Brat." He mouthed with a snicker, bending down to pick up your tights. 

You tutted, stealing them from his hands. "Let me do these, they're tricky."

He simply stared, his body trembling with a new tide of arousal at the mannerism you used to put on the garment, rolling up one leg between your thumbs and forefingers, pressing your toes against the stitching and dragging the nylon up your leg. He had seen this scene in an old Italian movie, but seeing the gesture in real life helped him understand the frenzy that the main character experienced after such an act. After you repeated the movement on the other leg, his mouth practically salivating, he watched some more as you fixed the gusset and the waistband, stretching the garment around the curve of your ass. 

"Call me whenever you need to wear those." He whispered in marvel and agony. "I might take them off you just to see it all over again."

You smiled coquettishly, grabbing your coat and wearing it. 

He kneeled in front of you, holding one of your shoes. "When's your birthday?" He asked, making you lift one foot as he slipped your heel on. 

You frowned, the connection unknown to you. "Mid-november. Why?" 

He held your other shoe and you held onto his shoulder as you lifted your other foot, wearing the black stiletto. "I loved seeing those on you tonight. I might buy you another pair or eight as a birthday gift."

You shook your head and laughed. "I don't need a sugar daddy, I'm happy with my plain, regular one." He rose to his feet and you grabbed his cheeks, planting a big, fat smooch on his mouth. "I'm actually very, very in love."

"Hello, Actually Very, Very in Love. My name is Head Over Heels — he pointed at your shoes — in Love. Pleased to meet you."

You laughed and he felt his heart explode with joy, his nose brushing against yours with Eskimo kisses. "Your bag." He said, bending to pick it up. "My bags." He said, collecting his tote and the small paper bag with his belongings that you had brought him. He neared his desk, checking the various devices. "Equipment off, computer off–" He mumbled as he moved the mouse to shut down the system. Meanwhile you fixed the low table, putting the magazines back on top of it. He switched off his table lamp and moved towards the door. "Dinner." He reminded himself, picking up the trash bag by the entrance. "You ready, Vixen?" 

You hummed in confirmation. 

"Let's go." 

[leahseclipse]

Thnks fr th Mmrs - (Event Fic)

++

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Not that I am aware of. (Please let me know if something should be added later on.)

Summary: Just two idiots in love, but none of them have the guts to say it. Eventually one of them will do it, a bit late tho- but, better now than never.

A/N: HELLO!! Here I am, roughly one month after my last fic, this work got all of us busy, which lead to a bit of panic on the last days, but (I think) we made it all in one piece.

This work is part of the Fic Swap organized by @imagining-in-the-margins, with the help of @sunlight-moonrise! I’ve had the opportunity to write for @spencer-reid-in-a-pool- which is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I love her so so so so much. This was awesome to do. (And yeah, for those who got the ref, the title is from one of fob's songs. I had NO other idea and found this one cool.)

Word Count: 8.7k

++

        As much as I wished for it not to haunt me another day— I still had this one problem, written into my brain with bright red ink, unwashable, as it seemed.

I hated to recall that it still remained there, as if it was an unsolved case that someone would have put into archives and brought back up when they were clearing out the shelves.

Unfortunately, it didn’t get lost, I just forgot it was there, and my brain had the wonderful idea of presenting it back to me.

I appreciate it. That was— quite nice.

It wasn’t that I hated it, I just didn’t like the thought of having to deal with it at barely eight in the morning, just before actually dealing with the problem itself— in person.

That problem—couldn’t be someone else but the only one Spencer Reid, the resident genius of the team, or the baby sibling for some of my co-workers.

Once again, I do not dislike him, on the contrary, he’s one the closest person I have in my life to this day, I wouldn’t imagine my life without him.

The problem is mainly directed towards the love, sentimental kind of problem.

Especially when the concerned person isn’t aware of it.

It gets complicated when you can’t even hide your feelings when they’re near.

I get all nervous and weird when he’s in sight, the proofs are right there.

 I remember them all, from the time I broke a mug when I tried to reach it as he was talking or when I almost fell down the stairs when he came in to work one day, looking like a literal god— and wasn’t even aware of it, the list keeps going on for miles.

And I’m still there, sitting with my feelings, waiting for something to happen.

I’m not even sure that he feels the same way. 

I’m here, admiring him, thinking about what could happen if I could resolve myself to talk about it, if he felt the same way, but strangely and for an unknown reason; I can’t.

This issue has been happening all week, the last one, and probably the whole month.

It took me time to figure it out myself.

I only saw us as two good friends at first; we’d hang out together, had the same hobbies, have long conversations without caring about the time, to the point that people would think that we were together.

But I guess that I never realized that he could be more than just a good friend.

And as it couldn’t be more complicated, in these cases, if none out of the two dares to make a move, or talk, it won’t go much further.

Which is exactly what’s been happening at this moment..

I’ve been liking him for a while now, and my brain doesn’t know to do anything else but attack me with as many questions they can come up with at the same time whenever I dare to think about it. 

What if he does like me, but only as a friend? 

Is it going to be awkward between us?

Am I going to lose my friendship with him because of that?

What if he says no? 

What am I left with? My stupid feelings that will keep wandering around, reminding me of my love failure?

If all of these are the things waiting for me till I decide to stop bottling it up, I better have to solve that, soon.

But at the same time, if I take a glance at the negative side, I’m just thinking that it’d be better to keep our friendship as it is, and just pretend as if he’s only a good friend I’m quite close with, not a possible lover.

Since when did I allow myself to see him as that? I wasn’t doing that before.

What caused my feelings to suddenly appear?

He’s always been nice to me, as with everyone else he’s close with, and as far as I’m aware of it, no one’s been in my situation.

If it ever happened, I’m sure that it was purely platonic and didn’t go as far as I’m at.

It’s as bad as a math problem.

Kind of ironic, considering I both suck at figuring out how to say I love someone, deal with feelings, all that love stuff; and at maths.

But, as I think about it further, he didn’t do anything to keep me from crushing on him either, even if he probably didn’t do it because he liked me.

There’s a 50% possibility.

He’d take me in his arms to reassure me, help me with paperwork when I was tired, offer to drive me home, re-filled my mug for me, act close, and by close- not as close as he is with the others.

A different kind of close.

So...who wouldn’t think that way, that he could like me?

He could possibly like me, but about that, I don’t have a single clue to know if he really does.

I do want to try to ask him, in one way or another, but the thing is that , if he doesn’t like me, what is going to happen next? 

Awkward silence? 

Is he going to try to reject me as nicely as possible to not hurt my feelings?

It could be really nice if anything would help me to make all of this mess any clearer.

I don’t want to end up drawing away from him because I can’t help but be in love with him whenever I look at him, but at the same time, I can’t say that I am, in case he’s not in love with me.

Spencer’s one of the most important people in my life; I wouldn’t imagine a day where I wouldn’t talk to him, and even if we’re busy, I try to say hi to him, at least.

I can’t quite imagine not having him ramble about his favorite subject, happy as hell because I’m interested, listening to him, and even participating in it.

I don’t want all of this to stop because of a mistake I could cause.

So, this week will be the one.

I’ll somehow resolve myself to bring up the subject.

I’m sure he’ll understand, he knows me better than anyone else in the whole team, has always been there when I needed someone, he’s always listened when I needed to talk, he helped me out with a lot of issues.

He’s always been understanding, whether the issue would concern him or not, so this shouldn’t be a big problem.

It’ll be fine.

I just have to relax sometimes.

I’m stressing out too much, and I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t stress that much about that, or any subject he might think about.

I even wonder if Spencer already noticed the changes in my behavior and is just waiting for me to talk about it because he doesn’t dare to talk about it as well.

He could feel the same way.

He could.

There’s a chance, a good one, I guess.

It can end well, and I have to keep thinking about the good outcome.

There’s no way he’d react badly, I know him,— Spencer is not the kind of guy to do that, in general.

I trust him on that.

So, today...or later, will be the right one.

It’ll go well.

It’ll be win or lose, basically.

I sighed as I looked at myself for the hundredth time for the past ten minutes, finally resolving myself to leave the apartment before I’d end up being late.

Which isn’t something I’d like to happen.

My ‘love problem’ counts as at least ten problems more than getting yelled at by a superior (if I’m not overreacting, at least) so I don’t really need that to happen, on top of that.

++

I have never been delighted to walk into the office, only to find paperwork from last week waiting for me.

We usually had the whole ‘Garcia runs into the office and throws papers at us before we gather in the conference room and immediately go on a jet at whatever unpleasant hour’ or just purely lazy days where none of us have the strength for any kind of celebration.

But today happened to be a calm one, we just had to do whatever task we had left to do before we can allow ourselves to go back home to either sleep all day to fix our long broken sleep schedule, or do whatever event we might come with, such as dates or trying to find a guy in a party, for some of us.

It’s nice that we don’t have to worry about when we’ll be able to come back to work, we just go in, do our task and go home at whatever hour, a decent one.

I’d say that this happened to be more than convenient -in a way- for Spencer and I.

More time for talking, hanging out together, mostly what we do when not on an active case.

If I’m not mistaken, I think that I may have heard one of them saying that we were dating because of how frequently we’d be found together.

I did want to say we were dating as a joke, but I was afraid that it’d end up being awkward after that if- as said earlier when I woke up-, he didn’t feel the same.

But at the same time, whether he feels the same way or not, I don’t really have a reason to think about that as Spencer wouldn’t react badly.

Knowing him, he’d probably play along.

At my arrival at the bureau; everyone was scattered a bit around; which wasn’t to be seen on a case day, usually.

We just had to hope we wouldn't have a surprise case to ruin it all.

As I greeted everyone before settling at my desk, I noticed one person missing.

Spencer wasn't usually late, so...I didn't really know what might make him late.

Knowing him, he may have woken up late because he had watched tv till 2AM, and ran to the coffee shop to not look dead at his arrival. 

Yep, that’s him.

Let’s hope he won’t break a bone when he’s going to attempt to run to not be late, it’s...yeah.

So, don’t rush Spencer, it’s calm as hell here, you don’t need a trip to the ER so soon in the morning.

“Oh, hey!”

I turned around to be faced with Spencer, papers in hand. “When did you get there? I didn’t see you when I arrived like...five minutes ago. I thought you weren’t here yet.”

“Oh, I was doing copies. I’m sorry if I worried you, I should have sent a text.”

“No- It’s okay, don’t worry. You’re here...now.”

“Yeah, I’m here. Do you have a lot of paperwork? Figured out we could talk in between.” He asked.

“No, I don’t have a lot, and...sure, I could use a talk- I mean uh...talk, yeah.”

That was a shitty save.

“I’m glad, I didn't want to bother you if you were busy.”

“Even if my whole desk was covered in papers, you know I’d always find a minute to talk. I get easily distracted.”

Please don’t take it the ‘love’ way, or just...don’t think I get distracted by you in a ‘not-a-friend’ way— gosh, I’m not gonna be able to save it with whatever sentence.

“You know that’s the same for me. I always have a hundred subjects popping up just when I try to focus.”

“Yeah, same. It’s a bit...annoying.” 

“Depends. It’s not really when you’re in them.” Spencer admitted.

Is this an attempt at killing me right on the spot? You’re really going to kill me by being so damn nice.

“Oh...really? I didn’t know.”

That was shit.

“Well uh...now you do that it’s not always annoying up there and that’s your part of the non-bothering stuff.” He pointed out.

“That’s the- same for you, yeah.” I answered, slightly nervous.

“Didn’t know we had that too in common, that’s funny.”

Not so sure about the other detail you don’t know about-

“We learn new stuff everyday at least. I guess it’s...useful to know? I don’t know.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, there’s not much to do with that information, it’s more of a...fact thing-y. You know I like that stuff.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Who doesn’t?”

“Yeah, everyone does at this point, but that’s a quarter of what they know, I think that you’re the only one that knows the most about me, not everyone.”

You have to stop before I drop dead on the floor right now.

“I have to remind you that it’s kind of the same for you.”

“People are definitely thinking we’re together at this point, we’re pretty close so they have every right to believe that.”

“Does it...bother you?”

“Oh, no, not really. You’re a pretty girl so that’s kind of...nice that they think that a nerd like me could be in a relationship with you.”

Okay, I just stopped functioning right now.

What am I supposed to even say? You’re a literal god, you’re handsome as HELL- 

“Oh- you’re uh- good looking so, that’s...normal I guess.”

“You think so?” He asked, unsure.

Oh, please. Tell me you’re kidding, it’s impossible that no one hasn’t told you of your AMAZING handsomeness, the fact that you’re amazingly-

Yeah, we got it y/n. 

“Yeah, really.” I confirmed.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem, Spence.” I said, as we both went to our respective tasks.

At least I avoided a heart attack, that’s what matters, he just has to stop being so cute and pretty, all the time because I’m gonna have trouble acting like I’m not in fucking love with him if he keeps going.

Just- breathe, and focus on your work. 

We’re gonna talk together, and it’s gonna be okay.

There’s no reason that a problem would occur, I just had a talk with him, and it went...almost perfectly smooth. 

The ‘almost’ part is when I almost had a heart attack, which isn’t the first I’ve had with him, and won’t be the last.

If he would just stop being so handsome all of the time.

I sighed, reading the paper all over again as I lost focus...again.

As I was reading, my pen in hand and the tip of it slightly touching the sheet— I didn’t even realize that I had been scribbling on the paper, as if I was in middle school and bored in class all over again.

It was kind of….fun. 

I didn’t get to do that everyday, so I’d say that it was diversifying compared to any other stressful day where these...doodles wouldn't even happen or to be thought about because of the amount and importance of the work.

I still think about him, even when I’m busy as hell though.

He’s always in my thoughts, I don't know how he does it because I’m pretty sure I don’t do that with anyone else in the bureau. 

Is that kind of over thinking considered as an obsession or not at this point? I’m not quite sure of it anymore, but...it's not "psychopath, stalker-like", he's just an important person that matters to me.

I just really like him, that’s all.

He also told me that I tend to be in his mind often, so...I guess we're even.

I guess so.

“Hey, is everything...okay? You’ve been staring blankly for a...while. Is that my-” He started to point out.

I panicked, quickly hiding the papers with other ones. “What? Oh, uh...I was-” I blurted out. “...thinking.”

“You’ll probably have to...print out new ones. I don't think Hotch will accept papers with scribbles, you know. I can print out some copies for you, if you want?”

“No- It’s fine, I can go, thanks for asking! It’s nice of you but uh- I’m going.” I answered, as I abruptly clicked back on the software to print out copies, and walked to the breakroom after...awkwardly waving.

Why the hell was I scribbling down his name like I was...a middle schooler having a crush on her classmate?

I have no idea why, but this was...kind of embarrassing at the moment.

I seriously have to stop worrying about each thing that happens.

He probably didn’t care as much as I did.

I shook my head as I arrived in the breakroom, now empty as Luke and Matt had previously left from what I saw a bit ago when I looked in that direction.

I didn’t mind, at least I’d avoid embarrassment because of how weird my expression probably looks.

So, everyone, please don’t come now, wait until I pick up my papers, that’d be more than appreciated.

++

Should I call Spencer?

I don’t want to be a bother, I know he enjoys spending time alone off work.

Would he be happy to hear me?

I don’t know.

I’ll call him later, if I’m settled on it.

I’ve been pacing in that small apartment of mine for at least the last couple of minutes, or maybe an hour, I don’t have the habit of noting the duration of my nonsense usually.

I don’t even know why I’m pacing again and again just to decide about a call.

I’m sure he doesn’t even do that.

Does that mean it makes me...crazy?

Not necessarily.

It could.

Maybe.

I’ll just- whatever.

Do something useful like cleaning your apartment and answering emails, and you’ll see if you have a minute to spare to call Spencer.

That works that way.

See, you can stop stressing.

Just do another task to distract yourself and have less things to worry about, so it’ll be easier to decide about the ‘call matter’ thingy.

++

I did not call him, if that’s what anyone wondered.

The only call I made was with Penelope, after she called me numerous times to ask me about the books we’ve been yelling about for a few weeks.

I had supposed she had also wanted to talk about Spencer, as the whole office had been conspiring about our possible relationship.

But, she held it off, and cut the call after saying ‘I better hang up or I’ll be talking about the book for another decade’.

Kind of looks like me and my thoughts with Spencer.

I hope I’ll get to let all of those out, if we ever have the chance to have a talk about the feelings matter.

I never had that many ‘things matters’, I’m even inventing some new words along the way.

Crazy what love can do, if that’s what started it.

I can’t recall that either, I’ve been more focusing on the matter itself than the name of it.

Love will do, I guess.

++

“What are you up to?” I asked, peering over Spencer’s desk.”

“Well, technically...nothing new. I’ve been reading that for the past week, I tend to do that with books I really like.” He closed it, looking at me. “Is that weird?”

“Not at all. I’m doing the same with shows and movies, and even- who cares if it’s weird? If we like doing that, we don’t have to worry about what others might think about it.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t worry that much.”

“I worry about small things too, you’re not alone on the ride.” I pointed out, sitting back at my desk.

“Glad to know I have someone I’m sure won’t judge on that.”

“I would never judge you on anything, well- aside from the ‘sugar’ matter we’ve been having for a while, nothing else.”

“You’ll be debating about it for a while then. I’m not about to stop having my ‘sugar with my coffee’, as Morgan says.”

“The amount you put in it is disgusting.”

“Not to me.”

“Well it is to me, and probably everyone else. How do you not get sick?”

“No idea. I’ve been doing that for years and never had problems of any kind. Maybe you’re all the ones that are weird.”

“Hey! You’re weird too. If you wouldn’t be, I wouldn’t be talking with you.”

“I’m less weird than you, at least.”

“Pff. Just get back to work, weirdo.”

I love you, weird genius.

++

No, I didn’t get to talk to him about the…’love matter thingy’.

We did spend a lot of time together but I didn’t get the nerve to find a way to ask, instead of going straight to the thing.

I have no idea if I was imagining things or if it was real but...he did look a lot like me, and...his look wasn’t the kind of look you’d give a friend.

He also seemed...nervous, I guess?

Would it be wrong for me to think that he could possibly like me, as well?

That’s better than always thinking he doesn’t, a little hope doesn’t hurt, it’s always nice to think on the bright side for once.

Maybe I could be right.

I kind of hope I am.

++

I didn’t think till now that it would be such a relief to see my whole desk cleared from most of the papers.

 I’ve turned in most of my reports- and that kind of sounds like I’m talking as if I’m in school and turning in assignments at the end of the day to be honest.

All of the papers that laid around were gone, and it kind of seemed like the work day had reached its end.

It kind of was a nice day, it’s nice to have days like that from time to time to take a break from all of the stress and shit from cases.

As I had gathered back all of my stuff, and all that was in mind was to walk out of here and rush to my apartment.

Just as I turned around, Spencer was standing in front of me; I didn’t even see him come by.

“You- gosh, you really scared me. Speak up next time.” I said, nervously laughing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to- Did you uh...get hurt?”

“No, I didn’t have- get anything. I’m okay, thanks- Are you going home too?”

“Yeah, yeah, I am and...I also-”

“You also…?”

“I wanted to talk to you...again, about something.”

I feel like that ‘something’ might be the ‘something’ I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for weeks.

“Uh, go ahead, I guess. I can’t really start the conversation as I have no idea what it’s about…”

“Okay, uh...I’ve been uh, wanting to ask, for a while, if you wanted to hang out, sometimes. I know we do, pretty often, but I’d be like...hanging out together, maybe dinner...” He looked elsewhere, searching for his words.

“...you mean a date? Is that...what you want to say?”

“Yeah, that! I just- I thought I’d be weird to ask you, just like that. I mean...it’s kind of random and I thought that- you understood the thing.”

Please, that’s what I’ve been thinking about for a decade, how could I not understand that-

“It’s not weird, I’m just...surprised?”

“Oh, I’m- glad? I just...didn’t think you’d accept and...I was kind of afraid that I’d make a fool of myself by asking you that.”

“Wait a minute though-  You’re really asking me out, right now? I’m not making fun of you, it’s just still...wow.”

I just thought you would never do it, or that I’d be the one asking and receiving a negative answer.

“I swear that I’m not. I’d never joke about that, especially to you, and since I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I guess I was afraid of the answer.”

“Please don’t laugh, or anything but...kind of the same thing was happening to me, about you.”

“So...we’ve been thinking about it, and none of us knew? Wow, that’s...I didn’t think that was happening all this time.”

“Seems so.”

“Have you been uh...thinking about it for a while, like me?”

“Kind of...yeah. I’ve...liked you for a while but, didn’t think you’d be interested. I’ve had a lot of male friends that were acting like you, but weren’t interested in me, so I thought...that was the case.” I admitted.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate you, and not only in a friendly way. I’ve liked you for a bit, and as I said, I was afraid of what you’d say, so...I told myself that waiting for the right moment would be better.”

“....yeah, same. I don’t think we’d ever get to have a conversation about it but- did you uh...resolved yourself to do it because of…”

“..the paper thing? Yeah, and no. It’s been on my mind for a bit. I just thought this would...kind of- be the right moment. I know that it's not the ideal place, but I just thought, it’s now or never.”

“At least...it’s cleared out?” I asked.

“Yeah, it is. I’m glad we know about...the feelings stuff and all.”

“You have no idea how I am. This is- wow, sorry, this was kind of sudden, and I...didn’t think that’d happen. Just this morning I thought about talking about it somewhere this week and now- did you read my expression or something and guessed or…? Because just as I thought about it, you talked to me.” I explained.

“I guess so. I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, and...I didn’t want to wait more as I wouldn’t have ever talked, as for you.”

“Would you have waited another week for me to tell it or would you have stepped in before?”

“I think it would have depended on where we would be. Because, if we were outside, I think that I would have preferred something nicer than a bureau, you know. Even if I like it, to be honest. But, I wouldn’t say it’s the best setup to ask someone on a date?”

I shrugged. “Not the best, but, it’s better than- I don’t know...a grocery store or something?” 

“Yeah- it’s better.”

“At least you’ll get a better shot at asking me out on another date after that one.”

“I’ll definitely do better.”

“I trust you on that one. But- I want to home right now though, I kind of miss my couch...and my fridge, maybe.”

“I’m with you on both ones- after you.” Spencer offered, as the elevator opened, stepping in after me. 

“Be careful with the whole gentlemen thing, you’re gonna have to bring me coffee everyday soon.”

“I’m already doing that with mine, bringing yours won’t hurt. You’ll probably have a bill at the end of each month.”

“In your dreams, Reid.”

++

The care that had been put by Spencer on our first date was truly amazing.

It looked like he planned it months ago, it could almost be seen as a kind of proposal if someone else would see it.

He insisted on picking me up himself, did not tell me a single thing about where we were going till we were there, which was weird...but made it exciting and fun.

I have to say that I was...quite nervous too.

I never even thought that I’d be here, on a literal date with Spencer Reid himself; I’ve had dreams about it, thought about it, but never thought it’d actually happen.

None of this was a joke, he was more than serious about it.

I don’t think that even one thought I had looked like this moment, he insisted for it to be an awesome first date we’d both remember for a while, and I wish it could have lasted longer.

Time went by, way too fast that when we both saw the time, it was already 10PM.

As we could have work, and that sleeping early would be convenient if we happen to be called in early, we decided to end the night there, even if none of us really wanted to.

“We should stay in next time. That way we won’t be tired, you know. It’s kind of late.” Spencer pointed out, as we walked to my place.

“You sure? It’s gonna be Grey’s Anatomy or whatever cheesy tv show I watch for the night.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll probably try to point out the mistakes, it’ll be like...a game night you know.”

“Oh, yeah. It could. But, I think I’m gonna be the one to lose as the only ‘medical knowledge’ I have from that show is from that show. And, as Google isn’t to be trusted, I’m gonna lose.”

“It could also include a...spot cheesy moments thing.”

“Season one is full of it. We’re gonna have a lot to talk about. I would have proposed Star Trek but apparently, there’s not much scientific errors, it’s pretty accurate from what I heard. We could settle on Doctor Who if we can’t decide.”

“Would you like it though? You told me you don’t watch it usually.”

“You could tell me about it, it could be good. We could also try Supernatural, it’s kind of mystery stuff with paranormal stuff?”

“Ghosts, spirit and the whole heaven/hell thing?”

“Yeah, there’s a lot going on. And...it's kind of in the title. I’d have to warn you though, I’m kind of obsessed with the main leads, so don't get jealous or something.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. It’s a judgement free-zone.”

You raised your eyebrows, staying silent for a split second.“...you judged me when I didn’t add any sugar in my coffee.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Spencer, please- you looked at me weirdly, as if I committed a crime.” 

“Not in a mean way- I just put a ton, so, seeing someone putting none was weird.” He admitted.

“I’m judging you on that then. You’re putting way too much in that. It’s sugar with liquid at this point, it's melted candy.”

“I hate the strong taste.”

“Then drink tea.” I proposed.

“It’s too light.”

“Just end up drinking water.” I said, running out of ideas.

“No, I prefer to stay with my sugar with liquid.”

As you wish.” I agreed, as we came to a stop.

“So...we’re there.”

“Yep, we are. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Spencer repeated, coming forward to plant a kiss on my cheek. “Have a good night.”

“Spencer, you missed. You kissed my cheek.”

“Oh I- are you fine with it…?”

“Just kiss me, Reid.” I replied back, while one of his came on my left cheek, the other laying on my waist as he stepped forward once again, kissing me on the lips.

All of it was perfect.

It was only the two of us, the world around us had froze.

My arms ended up winding up around his neck as he brought me close, his warmth, smell invading my emotions, my whole thoughts.

I had totally forgotten about everything else, he was the center of my attention, I couldn’t allow myself to go on another track when he happened to be near me, this close.

Never have I thought that months ago, as I was crushing on a man I thought wouldn’t like me, would actually like me, and kiss me.

We were literally starting to date.

This better be real, I better not be in a coma after whatever accident I might have had.

Because this— this is way better than a dream, than I imagined.

I would be so mad if that wouldn’t end up to be real— but it is.

All of the things I’d feel, whether it was him, his hand on my cheek radiating his warmth on me, his breath, his lips slotting against mine, his arm enlacing my waist, the grip on my waist gentle, the feeling of the fabric of his jacket against my fingers, or even my own feelings, all of the memories, thoughts floating around, there was just way too many things to describe, but I could still list them all of a sudden if I were to be asked about the aftermath of it.

I couldn’t wish for a better moment like this.

I think that the fact that this moment was probably totally unexpected made it even more special for the two of us.

Neither of us will forget, ever.

This moment totally replaced the message written in bright red ink that reminded me that I still had these feelings laying around that I kept pushing away by fear of rejection.

The rejection seemed long gone, for me, he happened to be having similar feelings, probably fearing a negative event as well.

Turns out nothing bad happened for the both of us.

Only our truest desires, what we wished for but didn’t dare to as the bad ones were stronger.

The bad pushed the joy we could have really lived if the feelings were mutual.

And now, it is.

We both know that the other likes us, that the bad is long gone behind us.

I could tell that, from my side, because of this moment.

I didn’t want it to stop, ever.

I wished to live this kind of event that could give the chance for all of these amazing feelings to fill my whole mind.

No more fear, pain, sadness, just calm, reassuring, soothing feelings.

The ones that make you feel that nothing can hurt you anymore, that make you feel safe, happy, this is all I’ve ever wanted.

I didn’t even count how many minutes that lasted, I was too focused on...the wonderful person in front of me and all the feelings that came with it.

It was quite the overwhelming one, and for once, it wasn’t an unpleasant overwhelming, it made me feel happy.

Mostly because I’d never thought feelings could be so deep, numerous, amazing to think about, and then, even more happy feelings would pop up again, and again.

I’d almost forgotten we were still in front of my building, and that it was...really late.

I almost think that I didn’t remember the world had kept moving, that people walked by to see two people making out in the street.

I guess I sort of apologize, but don’t really care.

I was in my moment and did not care if anyone saw us.

When we both slowed down in our movements, ceasing after a few seconds; I slightly stepped back, letting his hand rest on my cheek for a little bit more when I put mine on his.

I simply didn’t want the feeling of his warmth to ever stop.

I did not want any of what this moment made me feel to ever stop after I had to experience it with no one but a person that deeply matters to me.

The only person I’ve ever wanted to feel this kind of amazing feelings with.

I didn’t want it to stop.

Not yet.

Not ever.

It was amazing.

He was amazing.

As we both started to take our breaths back, when his hand dropped from my cheek to my waist, joining the other, the feeling of looking in his eyes once again was astounding.

It was just a glance.

But, when you happen to be in total love, it isn’t just a simple glance, it’s always a special one.

What you feel about it won’t ever change.

I’m sure of it, in my case.

I wish I could be looking at him forever.

But...not that I want to ruin the moment but, it was really late, and windy.

Not the best time to look at each other for hours.

After a certain amount of time, Spencer had been the one to briefly break contact, before maintaining it once again, but with a different emotion plastered on his face this time.

“I’m sorry for...before, I panicked and I-”

Okay, here goes nothing.

“I don’t want you to go yet.” I admitted. “That's kind of the reason...I said and did that too. I wanted to kiss you but, it was also to feel you close a bit more, a four hour date wasn’t enough and I don’t think it’ll ever be.”

He seemed surprised at my confession.

Just say something, I hate it when there’s a blank.

Especially when I just said this to you.

“...if you want me to stay, just tell me.” He said. “I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me, as long as you want. Even for a whole week, a month, hell- forever, let’s be crazy.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just feel like I would be bothering you.”

“You’re not. I’m actually happy to get to stay more. It’s not bothersome at all, on the contrary. I’m happy to stay.”

I’m happy too.

“Thanks for that. I really...appreciate it.” I admitted.

“The pleasure’s mine.”

“Wow, you’re playing it ‘gentleman-like’ now?”

“I guess so. I would also say it can be because I’ve seen a bit too much of Miraculous Ladybug when I was babysitting kids. Cat Noir’s nice.”

“You know lines of Cat Noir?”

“Yeah, I picked up a few one.”

“Really? You’re gonna say them all the time now?”

“Of course, my lady.”

“I’m never gonna get used to that. It’s weird hearing you say that.”

“But it’s romantic, there’s a lot in the TV shows you watch. The characters do that too.”

“But you’re not one of the characters, you’re Spencer Reid. You’re yourself. You don’t need to throw Cat Noir lines to charm me or something. Just you...is enough.”

“You sound like ladybug...and also Marinette.”

“We’re kind of them- well- kind of, as what we deal with isn’t...close to a kid’s show, but, we save people.”

“Oh, we should-”

“No, I’m not dressing up as ladybug for halloween.”

“...can’t say I didn’t try.”

“There’s no way I’m dressing up in a suit-” I argued.

“We would have been equal, I’d be in one too.”

“I’m not doing it-”

“...guess I’ll have to come up with something else then.”

“Yeah. We have at least six months to think about it so...that’s enough for me, I guess.”

“It’s short. We’re gonna end up one week before.” He complained.

“Stop worrying about that- just get inside with me, it’s getting cold.”

“I could give you my sweater and jacket, I don’t mind.”

“Just- get inside Reid.”

“I was joking!”

“Sure you do. Do you think I’d stay outside for another hour?”

“I just thought it was because you were cold-”

“I’m gonna check if you don’t have a fever when we get up- you’re out of your mind.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Nah, you’re a bit tired, from what you said.”

“I didn’t actually mean it.”

“Sure, let’s get you to bed, grandpa.”

"I'm 32-"

"So?"

"I don't see why you call me grandpa."

"You don't have the reference? The meme, you know?"

"No, I don't."

"You're disappointing, Reid."

++

“Is it going to get worse in later seasons? It’s too calm.” Spencer pointed out.

“Uh...possibly. Season one is pretty calm, not- entirely, but...okay compared to later ones. There’s a lot going on in Supernatural, and it gets pretty hard when you get attached to the characters. The writers like to hurt us.”

“They’re taking all of the pain of the fans on twitter as inspiration.”  

I snorted. “I’m really starting to wonder if it’s not the case at this point.”

“I noticed they tend to do that at the end of seasons too. They throw in a cliffhanger where you think that the character is going to die, and then, they make you wait months...just to show they had a scratch on the arm.” He explained.

“It’s true...they did that a lot of times. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen after season one though. I bet it’s only going to get worse.”

“Probably. I bet they won’t be extra nice with letting them live peacefully.”

“You…” I stopped in my sentence, yawning. “...said it. Sorry- I’m a bit tired.” I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Oh you should probably- go to bed, yeah. I'll leave the bed to you, you know."

"Why would you sleep on the couch?"

"Uh...well, uh...I don't know."

"We're sleeping in the same bed, it's not the end of the world."

"...are you uh- sure?"

"I guess. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

“I just figured that...it’d be sort of embarrassing, or even awkward for you.”

“I don’t get why it would be, it’s okay. Plus, you deserve to sleep comfortably if you’re tired as well.”

“Okay, then.”

I paused for a bit, thinking about a detail. “...It’s probably stupid to ask, but...which side do you usually prefer? Just so that, there aren't any problems if you sleep on a specific one, you know.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be taking you side or anything, as you said, if you prefer a specific...one.”

“Why did you think I asked? And, in case we prefer the same, we’ll just settle on one, that's all I can think of.”

“...it wasn’t stupid to ask though.” Spencer reassured.

“Really? I...it’s not everyday that I ask that kind of stuff, especially as this situation doesn’t happen everyday. But, at least, I can say that I’ve already done it. It’s...something.”

“Yeah, same. It’s just...I don’t know, what would you call it?”

“Half stupid, half nice? I have no idea as well.” I admitted.

“...we can just leave it there, we’ll never find it.”

“True- Are you coming, or doing a whole routine like drinking water, going to the bathroom, tidying up everything, checking mails and all of the possible stuff that you could do?”

“Do you really think I could be doing that?”

“Kind of. Wouldn’t be surprising if you were doing that. But I’d say it’s a waste of time, if it’s 10PM, you end up going at 11:30 something. The least I’d do would be...water and bathroom. But again- I won’t criticize, it’s fine with me. Just don’t make hella noise.” I detailed.

“I just...check mails...a lot, yeah. Also uh...I make sure everything is ready in case we get called in so I don’t rush; so, I do a lot of stuff. But as if it’s a calm week, I guess I can skip getting the bag ready, and probably mails as I answer them later.”

“That’s...good to know at least. Less stress before going to bed.”

“Kind of. I tend to do all of the stuff I forget all day at night, which causes me to do a lot of stuff, being afraid that they won’t be done on time, so...it’s nice to have less stress.”

“Really nice after what you said.” I pointed out. “Are you sure you’re okay though? We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world, if that’s the thing that bothers you.”

“No, you’re not….it isn’t- It’s not the problem. I just, never really...did it, and...I have no idea why I’m stressing over that. It’s kind of stupid as we’re just gonna sleep.”

“You’ll be out like a light in two minutes Spence, it won’t be a problem if that’s what stresses you out. Also, it kind of is...the feeling you can’t describe, and me neither. It’s like...stress, awkwardness, a mix, you know.”

“Exactly, it’s kind of that.” He agreed.

“Didn't know we were thinking the same about that. Well, I guess we’ll see. We should go before it’s too late.”

“Yeah, we...probably should.” 

“Relax up a bit. Just chill.”

“I’m perfectly relaxed.” He argued.

“No you’re not. Stop lying, I don’t even need to profile you to know. You’re like a balloon ready to explode.”

“I really don’t see what you’re talking about, y/n.” He muttered.

“Did anyone tell you that you’re very convincing? Turns out they were lying, genius.”

++

“I think I’m the one freaking out now.” I admitted, out of the blue.

“I’m not really freaking out anymore. I guess I gave all of my stress away to you.”

“It’s quite thoughtful, thanks.”

“Maybe you’re just hot, who knows. I’m fine on my side.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not hot, it was freezing cold outside, so it is inside. I know when it’s hot and when it’s not.”

“Uh then...try to take deep breaths? I don’t know what you could do.”

Why don’t you try to be less handsome, huh?

“I think it’s the awkwardness and stress mix kicking in, as I said earlier.”

“Do you want to talk for a bit? Maybe it’ll calm you down.”

“Sure, why not.” I agreed, turning to the other side to face him.

That guy has to realize that his face is what’s distracting me.

“What did you think about today?” He asked.

“It was...really fun. Quite more than I expected I think. I guess I’d be down for other ones.”

“I can’t guarantee I’m not going to slide one or two essays in it though.”

“I’m fine with it. You know listening to you...never bothered me. I don’t think it’ll ever bore me. Who doesn’t like a few facts?”

“Even when it’s all about science or pagan rituals? The cop looked at me weirdly and even asked what kind of doctor I was. Someone else had to talk to revive the conversation.”

You bet, not everyone’s used to it.

“I do remember that one. You looked pretty...proud about it when you finished the sentence. I swear that I would have revived it first or would have kept going. I know a bit about it. What did you say to creep him out?”

“I think that...there was candle wax on the tree, and I said the usual stuff, as a matter of fact, it was used to protect the birth day celebrants from demons, and that the celebration got rejected by Christianity as a pagan ritual’. That’s when he asked.”

That totally explains.

“It wasn’t embarrassing, don’t worry. He just...wasn’t used to that. That almost happens with every new person you meet. I’m out of the ‘almost’ I guess. I was surprised, but got kind of interested.”

“Again, that was surprising. Not everyone would have reacted like you did. I know the others try not to hurt me and listen to it until it’s enough.”

“It’s distracting sometimes, you can always keep going. But not too late, 2AM essays aren’t my thing. Sleeping at 2AM is.”

Getting to sleep at 2AM doesn’t even matter anymore, I’m just glad to be able to sleep.

“I’ll try then.”

“You better.” I warned, pulling my jacket closer to my body as I felt a few chills.

His gaze hadn’t left my figure, hence, he noticed. “...you’re still cold?”

“A bit, I guess.”

“Do you uh...want to...get closer?”

“If you don’t mind, I don’t know. I don’t want it to be embarrassing.”

��It’s not, I swear. I just don’t want you to freeze, I guess.” He admitted, raising one of his arms.

“Okay, thanks.” I slowly got closer, not wanting to invade too much.

“I said you could get closer, that is barely closer than before. Come here.” He pointed out, which I responded to with a sigh as my head ended up resting against his chest. “I told you it wasn’t weird.”

“I thought it’d be for you.” I answered.

“It’s not...anymore. It’s actually fine...now that you’re here.”

“...really? You were kind of stressed about it just a bit ago.”

“Don’t remind me, it’s embarrassing again now. Do as your brain is a computer and delete the file.”

You’re the computer, I’m not.

“It’s fun when you react like that, why would I stop?”

“That’s offending.”

“You, offended? I don’t think so. You don’t sound like it, you’re acting.”

“That hurted my feelings even more, I think my heart might die because of such cruelty. You should be careful with your words, my lady.”

“You’re starting to look like Cat Noir. It’s cheesy. I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“Maybe I am Cat Noir, who knows.”

“Guess you’re gonna have to give back your power, you’re not supposed to say it.”

That shows how many nights I’ve spent babysitting kids, especially Matt’s, they watch it way too much.

“Never said I was.”

I kind of wish you were, it’d be fun to see you in that costume.

“Spencer, you sound like him now. You’re definitely him, can’t change my mind about that.”

“I just sound like him, doesn’t mean I am.”

“I have the last word, stop.”

“Okay, I’m stopping. But you have to sleep first, I’m not sleeping until you’re asleep.”

“...bossy.” I spat.

“I’m taking care of you, I’m not bossy.”

“...what’ver.”

“Whatever, right.” Spencer repeated, hesitating for a bit before putting his lips on my forehead, softly kissing it a few times. “I totally agree with you.”

“Mhm.” I lazily said, growing a bit more tired.

“Good night, y/n.”

++

Nothing much had been planned for today; so when I had woken up, I really didn’t need to feel stressed about rushing into work as most of it would only be paperwork.

Spencer was still asleep. He had stirred up a bit when I stood up, but it didn’t wake him much. He was sleeping as a baby, even when I accidentally banged my foot against a shelf, nothing woke him up.

I exited the room with a chuckle, heading to the kitchen aisle to fill up a glass of water; sitting on the counter when I had the glass in hand.

It wasn’t really late, just about 8AM, I could still head to work around 9 or 10 as our work hours were to be chosen by us when nothing urgent was to be done; but, the limit was still about 10AM, the hour to be chosen more freely was around the end of the day.

Too bad we can’t head in somewhere in the afternoon.

I hate that work just for that.

I slightly jumped from the counter, peering over the bedroom to see Spencer still sound asleep, only his position had changed.

As I looked in the room, his sweater had been messily put on one of the chairs in the corner, almost at the edge of it.

Time to make jokes and steal a sweater. 

I slightly laughed, walking to the chair as I grabbed the sweater, heading back outside when I had the item in hand.

In a few seconds, I had put my head in the top hole, then my arms in the sleeves, arranging the sweater afterwards.

Good luck to get it back, Reid.

++

“Hey, did you-”  Spencer asks, before putting his eyes on me. “Is that my sweater, or am I having hallucinations?”

“That is your sweater, indeed. You’re not hallucinating.”

“Is it being rude to ask why you’re wearing it?”

“I don’t know, I like it.”

“And...is it possible to get it back later?”

“Not sure….no.”

“At least you were clear.” Spencer chuckled, sitting on the couch as I joined him after a minute.

“Last night was really nice. I appreciated the forehead kisses.”

“I just...felt like it would be reassuring, glad to know that. I could do it often if you’d like to. I don’t mind.”

“Every night, no matter the situation. If we leave and don’t see each other for a few hours, forehead kisses, even if we don’t sleep at the other’s place, forehead kisses- basically every time we have to separate for a bit. But- you can also do it when we’re together, so...correction, all the time.”

“Gotcha, all the time.”

“I may give you back your sweater at some point if you keep your promise.”

“I don’t actually mind, you can keep it. Just tell me when you take my clothes so I don’t think that some alien stole my clothes in the night.”

“I’ll send you a text every time I’ll be taking one. You might receive a lot though…”

“Just try to leave two or three shirts and some pants so I don’t have to go out in the street naked.”

“I will- don’t worry.” I said, laughing.

“Too bad I can’t take yours in exchange. I’m not a fan of...tops.”

“You know what? That’s not a bad idea. I’m gonna take everything in your closet and only leave pants and that top. Thanks for the idea!” I thanked, getting up from the couch as he tried to catch me when I started to run.

At least now, I can’t say that I had a bad week.

It was better than expected;

For...probably the both of us.

++

If you liked this fic, let me know here!

[mister-supernova]

If I Saw You on the Street

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Pairing: Hope Mikaelson x Reader - Platonic Josie Saltzman x Reader

After Malivore

For as long as you could remember, summer vacation was your absolute favorite time of the year. To your surprise, it’s actually been a huge drag for you this year. It wasn’t like this was the worst summer ever--you could think of a few others that could take that spot--but there was definitely something off that you couldn’t piece together. 

For instance, no one has any idea as to how Landon destroyed Malivore, not even Landon himself. That whole day seemed to be a huge blur to all of the students. You remembered the bigger events like the school defeating Triad, but everyone seems to struggle when it comes to the smaller details.  

In order to keep yourself busy, you decided to stay at the school and take a summer job at the Mystic Grill. Besides the fact that everyone else was back home with their families, the whole school had this off-putting sense of emptiness. The place has magic in the walls for crying out loud, you usually feel some sense of liveliness. 

There was this one room in particular that you felt strangely drawn to. You had no idea why since you knew that no one stayed in that room this past year. At least, no one you knew anyways. 

One day out of pure curiosity, you picked the lock to that room to see what was special about it. 

Just as you expected, it was just a regular empty dorm that was probably going to be taken up by a new student during the fall. It looked like every other bedroom at the school, but this one felt familiar. 

Something that caught you off guard was the scent that faintly lingered in the room. The best way you could describe it was something floral with a hint of sweetness and spice--vanilla and cinnamon maybe--and it wasn’t like anything else you had smelled in the school before. 

As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave for the longest time. The urge to stay and wander trumped over the obvious choice that was to walk away. 

Something happened here, you thought. 

A few small drops of pastel blue paint chips stained the wooden floorboards and you wondered how the hell they got there given the rooms have white walls. 

Instead of questioning it any deeper, you just assumed that a student who had this room before must’ve gotten the paint on the floor and the janitors hadn’t noticed it. 

But how could they have missed that? 

You stood there for what felt like hours, trying to piece together what it was that made this place have this unexplainable affect on you. You could’ve stayed there for the rest of the day digging through your brain for an answer that would never come. 

At the end of the day, you knew nothing would come to mind no matter how hard you tried. It was like the answer was at the tip of your tongue, but your mind was radio silent.

Frustrated and defeated, you had to force yourself to leave the strange room. After that, you made yourself forget about that place completely for the rest of the summer and refused to ever return to it.  

Whenever you weren’t at work, you spent time with Landon, Josie, and a wolfed-out Rafael which was fine in the beginning. Dorian gave you permission to shift in the woods on full moons for the summer so that Raf could talk to somebody and you guys could possibly get information on how to help him. 

He definitely appreciated the company that you could provide, but alas he had no idea on how he could be turned back. 

The happier times were the nights you four had weekly movie nights by the Old Mill. You all would alternate who would pick the movie to watch and Landon absolutely hated that you chose a horror movie every single time, but you loved hearing the phoenix boy screech with terror. Josie would get a good kick out of it, too and you were positive that you’d see Raf wag his tail every time Landon screamed.

During those small moments, things felt like they could possibly get back to normal, but once you stepped foot back in the school, you were lost again. 

Your thoughts were much louder through the night. It would get so bad that you could barely get any sleep and the times that you would, you’d wake up screaming from a night terror. 

There was one night when you were tossing and turning, you knocked on Josie’s door to ask if she knew some kind of incantation to get you to fall asleep. You were up for anything at that point, even letting her swing a frying pan over your head to knock you out.  

Not wanting to hurt you or possibly kill you, Josie made you some sleepytime tea instead which actually helped a lot. It didn’t help so much with the vivid dreams you’ve been having, but you thought that it was better than getting no sleep at all. 

Everything felt like it was going decently well until Raf decided to bow out once Josie and Landon started getting close. You wanted to curse at him for making you the third wheel, but you understood that he couldn’t wait here forever for some solution that could help him become human again. He had to move on somehow, especially seeing that his best friend seemed to be moving on, too.

Regardless, you started feeling awkward hanging out with just the two of them. They wanted to include you during their weekly movie nights, but you’d just make up some excuse that you had to be up early for work the next morning. 

Landon--damn him for knowing your work schedule--could tell that you were bullshitting, but he didn’t want to force you into doing something you didn’t want to do. 

You tried busying yourself with other activities like running through the woods, canoeing in the lake, taking extra shifts at work, binge eating all the good snacks in the kitchen; you even got yourself into drawing and painting for some weird reason, but no matter what you did, there was still something missing. 

Towards the end of the summer, you didn’t feel like your usual jokester self. Sure, you’d throw out a line of sarcasm or make a witty comment here and there, but most of it would sound forced. You’d mainly do it so that Josie and Landon wouldn’t worry about you so much, but Josie quickly picked up on your facade. 

They really wanted to help you figure out what was making you feel this way, but as much as you appreciate their help, there was nothing they could do. How could they figure out what was wrong if you didn’t even know for yourself?

One day after your shift at work, you decided to do something you never in your wildest dreams thought you would ever do. 

You started cleaning your room. 

Josie volunteered to help even though you assured her you’d be fine doing it alone. She bribed you by saying she’d buy you a milkshake if you let her help, so without another word, you agreed to let her stay and assist.

“Gosh, do you throw out any of your old assignments?” Josie asks as she rummages through your desk drawers, “This is an algebra one paper from three years ago, Y/n,” she says, flashing your old homework assignment with a huge F circled in the front. 

“Hey, less judging and more cleaning.” You say, digging through your dresser for clothes you don’t wear anymore. 

“Did you try writing a reminder for a history test or something?” 

You furrow your eyebrows before turning to look at Jo, “What do you mean?”

“You have this post-it note that says “Don’t forget H”, but that’s all that’s written,” she holds up the note and from the other side of your bed, you read exactly what she had said. 

It definitely looked like you tried scribbling another letter after the H, but it ended up being a long messy squiggle, “Uh, I don’t know,” you shrug, “Probably. I must’ve been half asleep when I wrote it though because I have no clue when I did that.” 

Josie puffs her lip out in confusion, “Well. I would be surprised by that, but judging by the ten cans of energy drinks I just tossed out, it’s not so surprising to hear that your memory is a little fuzzy.” 

You drop your jaw in shock, “Is today Judge Y/n Day and I wasn’t made aware of it? You asked to help clean my room Jo, now save your judgments for another day please.” 

Josie playfully rolls her eyes at you, followed by a small chuckle, “Toss?” She asks, ready to crumple the piece of paper up. You take a second to answer back, wondering whether or not if you did forget some history assignment or maybe something even bigger than that. 

“Sure,” you feel your stomach churn seeing her throw the note in the trash bag, but there was no taking it back now. 

Another few minutes of silence pass until Josie speaks up, “Since when do you draw?” 

You look back up from your clothes to see Jo now holding up a sketchbook you snagged at the lost and found a few weeks ago. It was brand new and untouched, so you thought to yourself “why not?”. 

After explaining that to Josie, she flipped through some of the first few pages. You were no Leonardo DiCaprio--or whatever that painter guy’s name was--but you thought you were decent with your sketches. 

“These are really good, Y/n. Did you just think of these by yourself?” She asks, talking about the drawings you had of a girl you’ve been seeing in your dreams. 

You could only see parts of the girl’s face. Mostly you’ve only been able to clearly see features like her eyes and hair, so most of the pages were taken up by a pair of blue eyes and waves of auburn hair. 

“Not really. I’ve been having these really vivid dreams lately.” You tell Josie.

“This is who you see?” She looks down at the pages again, “Who is that? She doesn't look like anyone we know.”  

“Yeah, I don’t know either. She’s all I’ve been seeing, though.” 

“Well, it looks like you’ve found yourself a hidden talent.” Josie smiles, gently setting the book back down on the desk, “And maybe she’s your soulmate,” she teases. 

You just roll your eyes with a small smile and get back to your tasks. 

Like a girl that beautiful could even exist let alone talk to me, you think to yourself. 

As you continue sorting through your clothes, you notice a pair of sweats that look almost smaller than half your size. 

“Uh, Jo?” She turns to your attention, “These aren’t yours, are they?” 

She raises an eyebrow at you, “How short do you think I am? I think my legs are a little longer than whoever those are.” 

“Well, they’re not mine, obviously. How’d they get into my drawer?” 

“Maybe they belonged to whoever lived in this dorm before you?” Josie shrugs.

“But the dresser was completely empty when I moved in,” you think for a moment, now questioning everything, “At least, I thought it was. I would think that I would’ve taken these out if they were here. Why would I keep a pair of sweatpants that I don’t fit in?” 

“You do a lot of questionable things, you know. Like that one time you jumped through a bonfire wondering how hot it really was or when you tried to do a backflip off the roof of the school and into the pool or the time you “drank” a beer through your-” 

You raise your hands in surrender and cut her off before she could finish, “Okay, I get it! I do stupid shit. The sweatpants belonged to whoever lived in here before I moved in and I didn’t take them out of the drawer. Case closed. Swiftly moving on.” 

You were positive they weren’t there when you moved in, but there weren’t any other reasons you could think of as to how they got into your dresser. 

Seconds before you tossed it back into the bottom of your drawer, your nose barely caught the same sweet and spicy floral scent that you recalled smelling in the strange room. Breathing it in again brought back that memory of being mentally lost in that room, but oddly enough this time it made you feel calm. 

After another hour passed you and Josie ended up filling three bags of trash, one of them recycled trash, and one large donation box of clothes. 

You didn’t waste any time reminding her that she owed you a milkshake. She kind of hoped that you would’ve forgotten about your deal, but she was a woman of her word.

You made a “compromise” to take your box of clothes over to the donating center on the other side of the town square while Josie bought the milkshakes. 

Your task was a lot quicker than Josie’s since it was pretty much rush hour at the Grill right now, so you waited for her on one of the benches in the square.

Sitting by yourself with nothing else to do but wait, you couldn’t help but feel that empty feeling return. The emptiness never hit you all at once, but it definitely drained the hell out of you. 

Again, you felt stumped. Like there’s somewhere you should be or something you should be doing or someone you should be with. You knew Josie was going to be back any minute, but that wasn’t what was missing. 

You anxiously looked toward the Mystic Grill, feeling your breaths becoming more and more shallow as every second passes. You started wishing Josie would walk out so that all your worries could just go away. 

Then--almost like you knew right where to look--your gaze stopped when you noticed someone looking at you from where you just came from on the other side of the town square. 

You couldn’t make out her facial features from so far away, but it was the auburn color of her hair that stuck out to you more than anything. For a moment--and just for a moment--all the weight that had been weighing on your shoulders this summer felt much lighter and everything felt okay again. 

“One cookies and cream milkshake,” Josie’s voice startles you and you face her abruptly, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she chuckles, lending you your milkshake.

“No, you’re good. I was just…” you look back to the spot you saw the girl only to find that she was gone, “I was just lost in thought.” 

You had no idea what just happened or how you seemed to have possibly seen the girl from your dreams, but just a glimpse of her made you feel more emotions than you have all summer long. Because of that, a huge part of you hoped that you would see her again. 

~

heyyyyyy beautiful people! thanks for over 100 likes on This Isn’t Goodbye you guys gals and nb pals! i’m super super happy that you’ve been enjoying this series so far! still have no idea how many more parts this will be just yet lol but i really appreciate every one of you for the love <3  

*also the title was inspired by the song Dreams Tonite by Alvvays in case you were curious ;)*

taglist: @chicken-wang09​ @trikruismybitch​ @sodangtired​

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Awaken

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Hwang Hyunjin (some mentions of Y/N x Seo Changbin)

Word Count: 7.5K

Warnings: Explicit smut and language, use of vibrators, Hyunjin is kinda obsessed in this one

Genre: College AU; Professor AU

Summary: When Y/N transferred into a prestigious all-girls university, she never expected to be on the receiving end of a very handsome professor’s near-constant attention.

It had been a difficult decision - transferring from my previous school into one of the most Elite universities in the world. I understand that it might seem contradictory, but there were several uncertainties that impeded my ability to make a decision. The first being an existential dread surrounding the idea of leaving behind my best friends, including my off-and-on again boyfriend, Changbin. The second reason involved my new university’s strict mandate that it would only accept female applicants.

Yes, the school only admitted women, and as someone who maintained a diligent sex life with previous boyfriends, I was not excited by the prospect of being forced into celibacy.

But the pressure from my parents and close academic advisors eventually forced my hand, and I found myself dragging most of my belongings out of my dorm room with a few friends helping me along. “What the hell is in this suitcase, Y/N?” Jisung asked, grunting with the effort of dragging my bag along the sidewalk.

“Probably just clothes,” I said, shrugging because I was trying to remain perfectly nonchalant about my transfer, even though I was having a total meltdown on the inside.

“I think that’s all of it,” Changbin said, and he was giving me that same somber look that I was starting to hate - the one that told me he wasn’t very happy about my transfer. “You know,” he continued, bracing himself against the side of my car. “If you ever need me, I’m only a phone call away.”

“Quit trying to get your dick wet, Changbin, and grab something!” Chan snapped. “Or, are those arms just for show?”

Changbin rolled his eyes, but he leaned down to grab my laundry basket before bringing it to the trunk. “Are you gonna miss us, Y/N?” Jisung asked. 

“Not as much as you’ll miss me,” I said. “Who else will edit your essays, Han?”

Jisung frowned as if he was actually thinking deeply about my question. “Maybe I could just email them-”

“Jisung,” Chan interrupted, knocking against his shoulder with an affectionate smile. “There’s still one more box inside.”

“I’m on it!” Jisung shouted, and I grinned at the sight of the younger boy pumping his arms as he jogged back up the staircase.

“He doesn’t really get the severity of the situation,” Chan said, leaning next to me to against my car.

“It’s okay,” I said, looking down at my shoes. “I’ll miss all of you.”

“Y/N,” Chan said, “I thought we weren’t gonna cry until after you left.”

I sniffled around the rising urge to do exactly that before tossing my arms around his neck for a long embrace. “You’ll come see me, right?”

“Of course,” Chan agreed, pulling back to meet my gaze. “Ya! Don’t cry over this, Y/N. It’s supposed to be your big opportunity.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, but it didn’t really feel like it anymore, and when my eyes connected with Changbin’s, I couldn’t help but feel a terrible weight pressing down on my chest.

Maybe this was the worst idea ever, but I was already enrolled for the upcoming academic semester. I would do my best, of course, but I desperately hoped that my parents might reconsider another transfer. Because these were my friends  (and my sometimes boyfriend), and I belonged with them.

“Don’t think too much about it,” Chan instructed me firmly. “Call us if you ever want to hangout.”

“I will,” I promised him, and he brushed a friendly kiss across my forehead. It was the ultimate sign that I had truly signed my life away on the enrollment papers for the school in the next town. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad once I made new friends, but at this moment, everything hurt and I was doing my best to hold myself together as I drove away with my old life waving goodbye from the rear-view mirror.

Upon the start of the Spring semester, I was officially moved into my new dorm room which I was sharing with an very enthusiastic young woman named Claire. Her optimism was unmatched, and she had spent most of the day dragging me around campus while pointing out anything that seemed remotely interesting. “You’ll love it here, Y/N!” she promised, and I feigned a smile mostly for her benefit.

“It seems nice,” I told her later on after we returned to our shared dorm room.

“Oh, yeah, the teachers are great!” she said. “What’s your schedule like?”

I shrugged with vacant dismissal, reaching into my bag to hand her the folded piece of paper I had received earlier that week. “You got in Mr. Hwang’s class!” Claire abruptly squealed. “You lucky bitch!”

“What’s the big deal?” I grumbled, snatching my schedule back out of her hands.

“The big deal!” Claire shrieked like I had just committed an unforgivable crime. “He’s only the hottest teacher on campus!”

I rolled my eyes because I should’ve anticipated something superficial. But I was beginning to understand that most of these poor girls were thirsty for anything remotely attractive, and I had even witnessed one girl lusting over a much-older professor just because he still had all of his hair. It was everything I feared about an all-girls institution, and I was beginning to experience the same mania as the rest of them.

But my thoughts usually went to Changbin, and there was no way I would ever fantasize about one of my teachers. “How old is he?” I asked.

“He’s only 27!” Claire giggled. “I’m not kidding, Y/N, it looks like he was literally sculpted by the gods!”

“That’s original,” I muttered. “Well, I hope he’s good at poetry.”

“Oh, he’s the best,” Claire assured me, but I didn’t think I could take her word for it because she was certainly biased when it concerned his looks. “He’s been published all around the world!”

“He must be decent,” I said because the school’s academic reputation wouldn’t allow anything less than acceptable.

“My friend had a class with him last semester,” Claire continued, and I regretted not changing the topic earlier. “Apparently, she could hardly concentrate on the lesson because she couldn’t stop staring at his ass.”

“Your friend sounds dedicated.”

“There’s also a rumor going around campus that he only got his position because he seduced our admissions advisor!”

I snorted at the idea. “I doubt I’ll be that interested in him.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N,” Claire sing-songed. “You’ll change your mind when you see him.”

“I highly doubt it,” I muttered, and I glanced over at the side table where my phone was waiting. “I’ll be back,” I said, and I left the dorm room and found myself in an isolated study room which I ensured was locked before dialing Changbin’s number.

Then, I settled down against the couch and closed my eyes, shoving my hand underneath the waistband of my sleeping shorts to gently graze my fingers against my clitoris. 

Graciously, Changbin picked up after the fourth ring: “Y/N?” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Changbin chuckled, and the static from the phone made it sound far more guttural. I bit my lower lip as I dipped one finger inside my tight heat. “How’s your new roommate?” he asked. “Chan told me that she was unbearable.”

“She’s chatty,” I said, taking a deep breath before asking him: “Changbin, I miss you.”

He was silent from the other end, and I could only pray that Changbin had read the situation correctly, especially when I offered a quiet moan into the receiver. “Are you touching yourself, Y/N?” he asked, and I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.

“I wish you were here,” I told him, and I smiled at the familiar sound of Changbin’s zipper as he tugged his pants down those thick thighs that I loved. 

“I’m here, babe,” he said, and there was a slight desperation to his tone. “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” I said, hissing around a stuttered exhale when I grazed a sensitive spot. “I’m thinking about your cock, Changbin.”

He moaned from the other end, and the slick sound of Changbin lubing up his erection was particularly raunchy. “I want you here with me, Y/N,” Changbin said, and I could easily imagine him jerking off his cock from behind my eyelids. “I’d have you on your hands and knees, fingering that little pussy of yours.”

I gasped at his words, arching my back against the couch as I shoved my fingers even further inside. Changbin had an uncanny gift for dirty talk that I attributed in large part to his irresistible baritone voice. “Tell me more,” I begged him.

“Are you wet?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Changbin growled. “I could just slide right in.”

“Oh, fuck,” I cursed, and I imagined everything as he continued to describe it to me - moving my fingers even faster at the phantom sensation of his cock filling me up so well like he always did whenever we had sex together. “I want to come so bad for you.”

“Then do it,” Changbin said, grunting from his end as he undoubtedly brought himself to completion.

And I eventually came with a loud moan - shameless despite the thin walls of the surrounding dorms. But I was on cloud nine, savoring the necessary heat of my well-deserved orgasm. “Call me tomorrow,” Changbin said after a while, and I had almost forgotten that we were still talking.

“Yeah,” I panted around a sigh. “I will.”

The bell-tower struck noon when I entered Hwang Hyunjin’s poetry class for the very first time. I had already anticipated a large class, but I was still surprised by the sheer number of students who were crowding the front rows of the classroom. I rolled my eyes because I was forced to sit at the back, and it certainly did no favors for my poor vision.

Regardless, I was also frustrated because there was a small part of myself which remained curious about this mysterious teacher. I could tell that all the other students were practically gushing with excitement, but I schooled my expression and slumped down in my seat as I pulled out a fresh notebook. What the hell were they expecting? A striptease in the middle of our lecture?

However, the most frustrating part of all was the grand entrance of the elusive teacher who had enraptured most of the population. And I couldn’t be any less impressed with him as I rolled my eyes over his tall, lean form. Yeah, he was pretty to look at, but he certainly wasn’t my type. I sighed as my mind instantly reminded me of an image of Changbin; specifically, a sweaty Changbin who had just finished up in the gym - wearing nothing around his waist except for a towel.

“Good morning, everyone,” Mr Hwang finally spoke, and there was a deeper aspect to his voice that I wasn’t expecting. “My name is Mr. Hwang, and this is our poetry 278 lecture.”

There was a collective sigh over his words, and I held back my laughter at the pathetic way everyone was swooning over him. “Let’s start with introductions,” Mr. Hwang suggested, and I groaned because I loathed ice-breakers. “When I call your name, you can give me your year and intended major.”

God, was this Elementary school?

Nevertheless, I waited for my turn, listening as the other students went above and beyond the call of duty to provide Mr. Hwang with as much unnecessary additional information as they could. “I study political science,” one girl said. “I was the leader of my high school’s debate club, and I won an award at the state convention.”

“Impressive,” Mr. Hwang said, and I briefly entertained the idea of the girl fainting on the spot. “Y/N?”

I glanced up to meet Mr. Hwang’s gaze. “Third year,” I replied. “I just transferred, and I’m studying English.”

“Oh, really?” Mr. Hwang inquired. “Do you have any interest in writing an honor’s thesis?”

I blinked twice at the question because he hadn’t bothered to push anyone else for something more. “I’d like to in the future,” I told him, and I squirmed around uncomfortably in my chair when his gaze lingered for several beats too long.

Thankfully, he quietly moved on, and I was able to relax in my seat once again. The lecture proceeded from there, and I sighed when I realized that we would be talking about Emily Dickinson who I had already studied numerous times in my other classes. But I guess that left me the rare opportunity to doodle nonsensical images on my notebook while thinking about my friends, wondering what Jisung, Chan, and Changbin might be doing at that moment.

In another universe, we could be sharing this class together, and I felt a pang of homesickness for my previous school as I listened to Mr. Hwang’s voice at the back of my head. But after another hour, our class concluded and I breathed a sigh of relief as I packed up my belongings. I wasn’t able to finish my picture of Munchlax, but maybe I could work out the details later on. In the meantime, I hoisted my bag over my shoulder as I tried to fight my way around the crowd of students who were all waiting around Mr. Hwang’s desk.

And I was almost at the exit when his voice suddenly stopped me. “Y/N,” Hyunjin said, and I paused mid-step because I wasn’t expecting to hear him call my name. “Can you stay behind for a moment?”

“Sure,” I said, even as I bristled at the thought of having to wait for those other girls to leave first.

They all insisted that they had so many questions to ask Mr. Hwang, and I was left to stew in the corner while crossing my arms over my chest. I had another class in half an hour, and I couldn’t afford to stand around all day while I waited at the behest of a teacher who had somehow won the affections of every student in this stupid school simply by being the prettiest in the room.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Mr. Hwang said with a bright smile to the last girl who scampered out of the room with a breathless giggle.

Finally, it was just me and Mr. Hwang, and I hesitantly walked over to his desk. “You needed to see me?”

“Yes,” Mr. Hwang said as he looked up at me from his grade-book. “Is there something wrong with the way I teach?” Mr. Hwang asked, and I was surprised to see him pouting at me with his lower lip sticking out.

“Uh, I don’t know what you mean, Mr. Hwang,” I said, adjusting the strap of my bag.

“Well, it didn’t seem like you were too invested in my lecture,” Hyunjin explained.

Oh, great, he caught me daydreaming about Changbin. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said, searching for an excuse. “I’ve been having a hard time adjusting.”

“Ah, that’s right!” Mr. Hwang nodded. “You transferred here for the new semester.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, and I chanced a step back towards the doorway. “I’ll do better in the future.”

“Well, hold on for just a minute, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang said. “I’m here to help my students when they’re struggling.”

“It’s not really a struggle,” I said, but I held my tongue when he pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled something at the top.

“Here,” he said, holding out the paper for me to take. “It’s my personal phone number,” Mr. Hwang added with a wink. 

Personal number? “Oh, thank you, sir,” I offered in return because I wasn’t sure what the appropriate response might be in that situation.

“Call me anytime,” Mr. Hwang insisted, and I couldn’t help but notice the mischievous gleam in his gaze like we were playing some kind of game and I was the one who was losing. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

One Week Later

Despite my new school’s formidable reputation, I was doing exceedingly well in all of my classes. Most of my instructors were greatly impressed, and a few English teachers had already brought up the prospect of mentoring me for the honor’s thesis. Yet, there was one class that I couldn’t quite get a handle on, and I was shocked to see another giant C- written across the top of my latest essay. 

I swallowed hard when Mr. Hwang returned to the front of the room to conclude his lecture. What the hell was I doing wrong? I had even sent this paper to a former TA at my previous school who offered to look at it before I submitted the damn thing.

But instead of feeling disappointed about my failure, I sensed a rising anger directed at the man standing in front of the room. Everyone else around me celebrated their A’s while I was left with a nasty letter grade that would hardly reflect well on my GPA. What could the rest of my classmates be doing differently?

“That’s it for today!” Mr. Hwang announced. “We’ll pick up on this again next time!”

I frowned as I stuffed the essay at the bottom of my bag. It still wasn’t too late to switch out of this stupid class, and then I could finally re-orient my focus. “Y/N!” Mr. Hwang called out when I passed by his desk. “Can I have a moment of your time, dear?”

Dear?! “Sure,” I grumbled, once again waiting for the masses of Mr. Hwang’s admirers to leave the room before I confronted my teacher.

“Well,” Mr. Hwang began with an exaggerated sigh. “What will we do about these poor grades of yours?”

I bristled at the comment because it sounded strangely hostile - perhaps even threatening. “Don’t worry, sir,” I said. “I’m transferring out your class. You don’t have to concern yourself with me.”

I turned my back on Mr. Hwang as I started for the exit. “Don’t be silly, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang said. “I’ve spoken to your other teachers, and they tell me that this a requirement for your major. And I’m the only person who teaches the subject.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I hissed under my breath, but I did my best to retain a neutral expression as I returned to his desk. “What’s the problem, sir?” I asked. “I had the last essay peer-checked by a former instructor.”

“Our grading standards are much higher, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang informed me haughtily. “I think the real issue is your attitude.”

“My attitude?” I repeated - completely dumbfounded by the accusation.

“You don’t really show any engagement with the material,” Mr. Hwang elaborated. “You always come to class, but I can tell that your attention is elsewhere. And you don’t even bother to come to my office hours to talk about the topics we cover.”

“I didn’t realize, sir,” I said, and I was shocked that he considered me disinterested in my studies.

“It’s okay to ask for help, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang explained. “You’re the only student who never stays behind to talk to me.”

Because I have better things to compliment your face! “I have another lecture after this one,” I offered as a response.

“Then it seems to me like I should make an effort to meet you outside of designated hours,” Mr. Hwang said. “I have an apartment off-campus. Maybe you can come over this weekend?”

For a moment, I was completely stunned by his proposal. “I don’t think that’s appropriate, Mr. Hwang,” I said, taking a step back away from him.

“Why not?” Mr. Hwang asked. “It’ll just be me and you.”

“Uh, I don’t know...”

“Oh, Y/N, I have to insist,” Mr. Hwang said, and I watched him open his grade-book. “You won’t even muster a C in this class if you keep going at this rate.”

It seemed preposterous that I could make straight A’s in every other class but still fail this one at the same time. “I’ll think about it,” I said while doing my best to ignore his pleased smile.

It was late that night when my phone lit up with an incoming notification. I groaned in response because I wasn’t expecting anything from the boys, but then again, maybe Changbin needed fresh jerk-off material, and I could always send him a picture of my tits. But I was surprised to realize that I was wrong on all accounts, and my heart started beating faster when I read the message:

From Unknown:

Y/N, it’s Hyunjin from your poetry class.

Hyunjin? Oh, right, that was Mr. Hwang’s first name.

To Unknown:

Me: How did you get this number?

From Unknown:

H: The student profiles.

“It’s still an invasion of my privacy,” I grumbled.

H: We can be very casual with one another outside of class. Wouldn’t you agree?

I narrowed my eyes at the informal suggestion. 

To Unknown:

Me: If that’s okay with you, sir.

I waited for several moments, but it seemed like Mr. Hwang was finally done texting me. I shrugged at the unusual conversation, but before I could place my phone back on my nightstand, it vibrated with another incoming message. This one had a picture attached....

“Holy shit!” I gasped, dropping my phone onto the bed as my heart started to thud violently inside my chest.

From Unknown:

H: Do you like it, princess?

“Is he crazy?” I decried, and my hands were trembling when I brought my phone screen closer. Because the attachment contained a very obscene picture of a dick, and I didn’t need more than two guesses to assume that it was Mr. Hwang’s. 

My fingers were shaking as I stared at the image - zooming in closer to observe the delicate bead of precum glistening at the tip. There was also a hand wrapped around the base, and even though I didn’t have much experience with sex, I could still acknowledge that it was a very nice cock. But did I really just get a dick pic from my poetry teacher?

To Unknown:

Me: I’m not sure what you expect me to say.

I sent the message before attempting to fan my flushed skin - feeling overheated because this was not what I had been expecting when Mr. Hwang sent me the first message.

From Unknown:

H: It’s alright, princess. I’m not much for talking either. Why don’t you come over this weekend so you can show me your reaction instead?

Oh, god, I was definitely teetering on the precipice of very dangerous ground. I’m talking the same kind of inappropriate that could get him fired and me expelled. What the hell was he even thinking? Was Mr. Hwang trying to hit on me?!!

I shook my head because it was suddenly very difficult to concentrate, but I was also feeling the vestiges of panic creeping around the edges of my vision. My hands could barely hold the screen long enough for me to type out a quick response:

To Unknown:

Me: Maybe some other time.

The next morning, I was still shaken from my unexpected text conversation with Mr. Hwang. For most of the night, I simply stared at the ceiling while my phone continued to vibrate with incoming messages. Eventually, I was forced to mute his number, and I still couldn’t fall asleep.

I was barely functional the next morning, but I was also strangely horny, which is why I didn’t hesitate to encourage Changbin when he sent me a message asking if he could come visit. I waited and chose a time when my roommate would be gone - sighing in relief when I heard him knocking on the door. I threw it open quickly, and he was clearly caught off-guard by my eagerness. “I’m so glad to see you,” I said, and I didn’t hesitate to lock my lips with his, kissing Changbin with all the nervous energy that I had tried to keep to myself all weekend. 

“Wow,” Changbin managed when we both pulled apart for air. “The no dick policy at this shithole has fucked you up.”

“Yeah? I need you to fuck me, Changbin,” I said, and he must’ve saw something in my eyes that changed his mind. 

He pushed us both into my room, turning around to lock the door before reaching down for the hem of his t-shirt. “Bend over for me, baby,” he said, and his voice was husky as I took off my clothes and braced myself against the desk.

“I really need this,” I told him from over my shoulder - shameless as I explored every inch of his toned form.

“I got you, baby,” Changbin said, and he moved behind me to spread my legs, taking a few moments to finger me with his long digits, stretching out my opening while stimulating my clitoris with his thumb. “You definitely need to be fucked,” Changbin remarked. “Your pussy is so tight.”

“Please,” I whispered, and Changbin was quick to replace his fingers with the same cock that I often drooled over when I masturbated late at night. He set an urgent pace from the start, grabbing my hips between his hands to hold me in place as he filled me with his cock over and over again. “Changbin,” I whined, burying my face in my forearms and trying to ignore the pain in my stomach from where he knocked me into the wood on every thrust. 

It wasn’t equivocal to one of our more passionate rounds of lovemaking, but it was everything that I needed. Enough to wipe all consideration of Hwang Hyunjin clear out of my head as I enjoyed the delightful friction of Changbin’s cock rolling against the constricting walls of my cunt. “It feels so good,” I whispered, and I closed my eyes in pleasure.

“Tell me when you’re close,” Changbin said. “I wouldn’t want your roommate to come back.”

However, the inherent risk of being caught by my roommate was also a factor in my rapid ascent to orgasm. “Coming!” I shouted while feeling myself unravel around his cock as he rammed himself inside. 

Thereafter, I settled on top of my bed while Changbin tied off his condom and tossed it into the trash. I smiled when he crawled in next to me, reaching for his jeans hanging from the edge and pulling out a package of cigarettes. “Open the window,” I instructed him. “I can’t have you polluting my room.”

Changbin chuckled, but obeyed nonetheless. He also drug the ashtray on the windowsill closer before lighting the cigarette and bringing it to his swollen lips for a long inhale. “I really missed you, Y/N,” Changbin said, taking another drag from his cigarette before placing it in the ash tray next to the open window. 

“I missed you too,” I told him, closing my eyes for a moment as I relaxed against the pillows - savoring the warmth of Changbin from next to me.

“I had a nice time with you,” Changbin added. “Maybe we could...try dating again?”

I froze at the words I had been dreading to hear. You see, Changbin and I had been dating off-and-on for many years at this point, and we both knew that we didn’t work well as a couple. Yet, that never stopped him from encouraging us to try again, and as much as I loved the sex, I couldn’t tolerate the complicated feelings involved.

“I don’t think so, Changbin,” I said, wincing when I heard him sigh. “You know that never ends well for us.”

“Yeah,” Changbin agreed, although it hurt my heart to see him look so sad. “I can’t help it, Y/N.”

“We can still keep doing this,” I said, reaching over to place a tender kiss on his bicep. 

“Maybe,” Changbin agreed, but something in his tone told me that this might be the last time I ever enjoyed Changbin’s company in bed.

“Could I at least show you around campus?” I asked him. “I’ll even treat you to lunch?”

Thankfully, Changbin managed a smile at my offer. 

By the time Changbin had left campus, I was feeling strangely alone when I settled at a cafe in the student union to work on some homework. I couldn’t help but feel like I had disappointed Changbin, and I prayed to anyone who was listening that we might still be friends. Because we had been close well before the sexting and late-night phone conversations that always ended up with an orgasm or two.

Changbin was the epitome of the type of guy I usually lusted after: strong, handsome, and intimidating. But we always argued too much whenever we tried the whole couple thing, and that was enough to ruin any preconceived notions I held about a relationship with the object of my most intimate fantasies. “You always manage to ruin everything, Y/N,” I muttered to myself, and it was suddenly way too difficult to focus on homework.

But I was still distracted enough that I almost failed to recognize the man who had just walked into the cafe...until he was standing right next to my table. “I always enjoy seeing my students outside of our lectures,” Mr. Hwang said with a smirk. “Do you mind if I join you?”

It took me a while to respond to his simple inquiry because my mind instantly returned to the picture of his cock that still sat in my messages. “Sure,” I eventually mustered, willing my stomach to settle down while ignoring the harsh smell of his cologne. 

“Is that my assignment you’re working on?” Mr. Hwang inquired as he took another sip of his coffee.

Is he just going to pretend like everything is okay? “Yeah,” I said, sliding my laptop screen closer. “For the author essay.”

“Do you mind if I take a look?” Mr. Hwang asked, and I shivered at the dark look in his gaze.

“I guess so,” I said, and I passed off my computer screen, observing the way he read over the words before sighing.

“You just don’t seem to understand, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang said, and I could feel myself almost snapping.

“What don’t I understand, Mr. Hwang?” I asked with barely constrained frustration.

“Oh, please call me Hyunjin,” he replied. “Mr. Hwang makes me sound so old.”

“Fine,” I huffed. “But the essay?”

“It lacks passion,” Mr. Hwang explained. “Your writing is decent, but it’s very by the books, you know? I’m looking for my students to play around with their words and have fun! We read enough academia as it stands.”

“Passion?” I repeated. “And how do you suggest that I learn passion?”

Mr. Hwang smiled, and I felt like I had just walked right into a trap. “You’re a very young and attractive woman, Y/N,” he said. “Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

“Several,” I said, keeping my responses short and vague on purpose. Because i couldn’t figure out where he was going with this strange conversation.

“Several?” Mr. Hwang repeated. “Well, that’s a shame then.”

“What do you mean?”

“The sex must be very boring,” Mr. Hwang said. “If you’re still writing this way.”

I didn’t even bother trying to stop my mouth from falling open. “I really don’t think it’s any of your business!”

“I have to make it my business when your grades are this atrocious,” Mr. Hwang insisted, and his eyes rolled over my form. “I find myself quite attracted to you, Y/N. Perhaps I can help solve this little dilemma of yours.”

Fuck it! I thought to myself as I leaned in closer - ready to risk it all because I wouldn’t tolerate his attitude for another moment! “To tell you the truth, Mr. Hwang,” I said, feeling triumphant when his eyes flashed in annoyance at my blatant dismissal of his earlier request. “You’re just not my type.”

“And what is your type?” Mr. Hwang snapped. “Certainly not that little jock you were walking around with on campus?”

“Changbin?” I said without really thinking, but then I found myself wondering how he even knew about that in the first place. “How did you know?”

“I saw the two of you,” Mr. Hwang said like it wasn’t a big deal. “I couldn’t help but notice, Y/N, and that poor boy was following you around like a lost puppy.”

“This is crossing a line,” I said, slamming my laptop closed. “I can see anyone I want.” 

“You’re not interested in doing better?” Mr. Hwang asked. “Trust me, Y/N. I was there once, and most college boys like him are only interested in sticking their dicks into something warm. I think you need someone mature who isn’t only interested in their own satisfaction.”

“Changbin’s sweet to me,” I insisted, and Mr. Hwang scoffed.

“I bet he is, especially if you’re always willing to spread your legs for him.”

“Like you could do any better!” 

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

I fell back into my seat as I slowly processed his words. “Sir, I-”

“You can’t possibly know if I’m your type, Y/N,” Mr. Hwang continued. “I think I deserve a fair chance to prove you wrong.”

I could scarcely believe how casual he was acting - like this wasn’t completely against thousands of school rules. It was entirely scandalous, and there were so many inherent risks if we were to ever get caught....but, yet, somewhere deep down inside of me, I felt the familiar heat of arousal.

“You’re thinking about it.” Mr. Hwang smiled. “Come over this Friday, Y/N, and I’ll show you what a real man looks like.”

I had never been this nervous before in my entire life, wiping my sweaty palms against my jeans as I walked up to Hyunjin’s apartment. There was a far more rational part of myself that was screaming at me to run in the opposite direction, but the incessant desire to knock on the door far outweighed the consequences. And my breath hitched in my throat when I saw him standing in the doorway dressed to the nines in tight skinny jeans and a white, button-up shirt while I looked like I had just woken up,

“There you are,” Hyunjin said with a sultry tone, and he reached for my hand to pull me inside. “Sit down for a moment,” he encouraged me, smirking at the look on my face as I took in his lavishly decorated apartment. Still, I managed to obey him as I sat down on the leather futon in the center of the room.

“Your apartment is nice,” I commented, and I held my breath when Hyunjin sat down next to me - stretching out his long legs while he studied me with an impenetrable gaze.

“I have a few rules tonight, Y/N,” he said, and I forced myself to nod. “Are you aware of the color-light system?”

“Color-light system?” I repeated.

“How adorable,” Hyunjin said with a mocking tone. “You’ve made it seem like you know your way around a cock, but you’re clearly more innocent than I assumed.”

My eyes widened at his filthy language. “Sir?”

“That’s a good start,” Hyunjin said. “You will refer to me as sir tonight, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” I said, and Hyunjin smiled at my easy compliance.

“As for the color system,” Hyunjin said. “I want to make sure that you’re comfortable, Y/N. Green means that you can handle whatever we’re doing, yellow means that I need to slow down, and red implies that we’ll stop completely. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good,” Hyunjin purred. “Would you feel more at ease in the bedroom?”

I offered him a timid nod, and Hyunjin held out his hand which I accepted - hoping that he wouldn’t notice the evidence of my nerves. But I was half-way expecting something truly horrible, which meant that I was also genuinely surprised to discover a normal bedroom - sparsely furnished with a king-sized bed with a beautiful silk comforter. “Why don’t you take your clothes off for me, princess?” Hyunjin asked, and I shivered at the familiar pet name. “Lay down on the bed, and I’ll grab a few things before we start.”

I waited until Hyunjin turned his back to me before undressing and leaving my clothes in a neat pile on a nearby chair. Then, I hesitantly lowered my body onto the mattress while resisting the urge to cover myself. Especially when Hyunjin returned with a bundle of interesting items, placing them aside while he looked me over from head to toe. “Oh, princess,” he said. “What a beautiful body.”

I could feel myself flushing at his words and Hyunjin laughed. “Where’s that feisty attitude from before, princess? Or was it all for show?”

“Mr. Hwang-”

“Sir,” he quickly corrected me, and I stiffened when he presented a bright red blindfold. “We’ll put this on first,” Hyunjin said, and he ordered me to sit up long enough for him to secure the tie in the back - taking away my sight and leaving me anxious for his next move. “This will make everything feel so much better,” he said, and I jumped when his fingers started to trail down the smooth skin of my stomach. “Oh, you must be very sensitive,” Hyunjin remarked, and I didn't quite know what to do with my hands when he parted the delicate folds of my pussy. “Y/N, are you already wet?” he asked, and I tried to hold back a moan when he inserted one finger, moving it around before leaving me feeling empty once again. 

“Let’s try this,” Hyunjin said, and I gasped when I heard the familiar sounds of a vibrator. “You’ve probably used this plenty of times,” Hyunjin continued. “When you had to finish yourself off after those little boys tried to please you.”

He started with my nipples - moving in small circles around the hardened peaks. It wasn’t anything overwhelming, and I enjoyed the pleasant sensation. However, the soothing action didn’t last for long, and I gripped the silken sheets between my fingers, spreading my legs wider on instinct when Hyunjin trailed the vibrations down to my sensitive pussy lips. “Oh, shit,” I said, nearly exploding when the vibrator made contact with my clitoris. Especially when he increased the power - turning the damn thing up to its highest setting as he held it there in the same spot.

I was gone before it had even started, convulsing around nothing as I came hard against the sheets. And I fully expected him to stop since he had gotten his way, but Hyunjin only surprised me when he continued to move the vibrator against my throbbing clit, refusing to relinquish the stimulating vibrations as everything started to burn with the threat of yet another orgasm slowly building.

“Fuck, you’re leaking everywhere,” Hyunjin said, but there was only awe in his tone, and I could practically feel the weight of his gaze. “Such a good girl,” Hyunjin added, and he started moving the vibrator in faster circles while he refused to take it away from my poor, aching sex.

I moaned around my second orgasm - coming hard again, but there was also an undeniable sensitivity that had me trying to escape the cursed vibrator, but Hyunjin only used a firm grip on my hips to hold me in place.

“Please stop!” I cried.

“Color,” Hyunjin growled, and he continued to press down even harder.

“Y-yellow,” I stuttered, and the vibrations slowed down to a more acceptable level as Hyunjin circled the head around my clit.

“I want one more from you, Y/N,” he said. “Then, I think you might be ready for my cock.”

I almost fell apart at his words, and I found myself unable to deny that everything was so good with him. There was also a strange and foreign part of me that desperately wanted to please him, and I started rolling my hips in time with his circles, chasing another high as I nearly screamed from the intensity. “Look at you,” Hyunjin sneered when he turned off the vibrator, and I could feel the bed dip beneath his weight. He snatched away my blindfold, and I blinked rapidly at the returning light before focusing on the obscene image of Hyunjin jerking himself off in front of me. “You have to be honest with me, princess,” he growled. “Is my cock better than his?”

“S-sir?” I questioned, having trouble focusing because of the thick haze surrounding my frazzled brain. 

“That little prick you were with,” Hyunjin said. “Is his cock better than mine?”

I was smart enough to know the right answer, and I shook my head from side to side. “Your cock is better, sir,” I said, and Hyunjin brightened with a grin. 

“It’s big, isn’t it?” Hyunjin asked, and he was shuffling over me with a sardonic grin. “Why don’t you touch it?”

I swallowed hard, but quickly acquiesced, wrapping my hand around his impressive girth before allowing myself to give him several strokes - making sure to give some attention to the head. “Oh,” Hyunjin moaned, looking down at me with sultry eyes. “That feels good, princess, but would you rather have my cock somewhere else?”

I whimpered at his words. “Yes, sir.”

“Tell me where,” Hyunjin demanded. “I want to know exactly what you want me to do, princess.”

“I want your cock in my pussy,” I said. “I need you to fuck me, sir.”

“Shit,” Hyunjin snarled, and he moved my legs apart to expose my cunt. “How can I possibly say no when you asked me so nicely?”

But I was a complete mess at this point - debauched and overcome with pleasure. Yet, when I felt the tip of Hyunjin’s cock penetrate my weeping sex, I could already feel myself growing excited all over again. He wasn’t gentle either - spearing me with one harsh plunge of his erection against the resisting walls of my pussy. 

“Oh, fuck,” Hyunjin said. “Are you sure you’re not a virgin, princess?”

There were tears in my eyes when I reached out for his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he started moving himself around inside of me. Pulling back to leave just the tip of his cock at my entrance, before thrusting forward with unrelenting strength. In spite of his skinnier stature, Hyunjin wasn’t to be underestimated. He knew exactly how to use his hips, and he continued to breach my constricting cunt with everything that he had. 

“You’re taking me so well, princess,” he said, forcing my legs even further apart, and finding a better angle to attack the delicate g-spot that rapidly sent me hurtling for my fourth orgasm of the night.

I was completely spent, barely holding on to consciousness while Hyunjin finally came with a hoarse cry of my name - dragging his cock in and out of my pussy as he milked himself for every last bit of cum. Then, he pulled himself out with a far more gentle touch, leaning down for the first time that night to connect our lips in a surprisingly warm kiss.

“Is that what you were expecting, Y/N?” he asked with a playful smile. “Am I still not your type?”

I shook my head because words were the last thing on my mind. But Hyunjin simply chuckled at my speechless state, and I watched him move around the room completely naked as he cleaned up the mess we had made. Meanwhile, I held up my hands to make sure that my vision had returned to normal.

Eventually, Hyunjin settled back down behind me, and I was somewhat surprised that he hadn’t kicked me out of his apartment. Even more so when he started to run his fingers down my waist. “I think you finally learned passion, Y/N,” he said, and I couldn’t help but agree with him.

“Can I start writing acceptable essays?” I asked him with a more confident tone.

“Of course,” he agreed. “But Y/N,” Hyunjin added, and I groaned when he cupped the heat between my legs. “You better call me Hyunjin from now on.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, grinning when I heard him growl in warning.

“You’re asking for it, aren’t you?”

I gave him a coy smile in return, watching as he rolled over top of me to spread my thighs again.

The next day in class, I smiled when I saw an A+ written at the top of my latest essay assignment. One that I had stayed up late to complete while sitting at Hyunjin’s desk with his cock buried inside my wet heat. Apparently, my first lesson was complete, but I couldn’t help but think that there was still a lot more left to learn.

“Everyone did well,” Hyunjin said as he paced at the front of the room. “I’ll see you all again soon.”

The dismissal was met with the beginnings of several conversations throughout the lecture room, and I simply organized my things before tossing my bag over my shoulder. Yet, on the way out the door, I couldn’t help but smile when I heard Hyunjin’s voice from behind me. “Y/N?” Hyunjin called out, and I could already feel the arousal gathering between my legs. “Why don’t you stay after class?”

[writerwrites]

Yuánfèn | 04

Ch. 4: La Douleur Exquise: “The pain of still caring for someone that you know you can never have.”

Summary: When you’ve lost everything and try to run away from your problems, you keep finding a way back to the one person who completely understands. Can you make another person happy with a broken heart?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Chapter Word Count: 3.7k Chapter Warnings: Slow burn, grief, light cursing, light angst

Series Masterlist | Series Playlist | Complete Masterlist

I’m not going to cross a line. Steve said it to himself every morning in Spain, every time he looked in the mirror in the bathroom or caught himself staring at all the pictures he’d stayed to help you scan. Even as he carried a handful of boxes you were willing to pack back to the Quinjet he kept on saying it over and over in his head. Then, back to you and the words would fade to the back of his mind. At the slightest glance across a room, the hint of a smile on your lips when a memory brought happiness, and the way you clung to him so tightly when a memory brought pain. Just another day, she still needs you. She shouldn’t have to do this alone. A week later and a day became days and then he decided he would leave when the team called him for extraction.

With a book in hand, Steve climbed into the bed while you took a shower, donning his last clean undershirt and the same sweatpants he wore the night before. He was about to make a joke about the bed smelling like them and soon dirty laundry when you spoke first, saying just his name. His eyes were on the book, a Spanish translation of Homer’s Odyssey, flipping through the pages to find his spot when his clear blue eyes looked up and met yours, soft with a hint of something you couldn’t read. Wrapping your arms around yourself you stood at the edge of the bed, digging your nails into your arms. “I think I want to go home tomorrow. Thinking about what you said, about it being a part of what I have left of my family… You’re right, that I could keep this place and it wouldn’t be a financial burden if I put it on AirBnB or something similar.” Steve reached out in silence to comfort you as you spoke, doing his best to respectfully keep his eyes on yours and not the shirt and leggings that clung to your damp skin. “I emailed the lawyer about what I would need to do to make that happen and he said he’d take care of it.”

Your hand slipped into his, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze as Steve ghosted his thumb across your knuckles. “Even if it’s just to buy a little more time for a big decision, I think that’s a good choice.” He watched you, those gears turning like your mind and emotions needed to catch up to your surroundings, always in two places at once. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Slowly, you let go of his hand and climbed onto the bed, but you didn’t immediately lay down. “My hair’s still a little wet. You’ll freeze.”

“I’m a lot tougher than I look.” Steve laughed, thinking about all the times your head had tilted just a little to the side as you looked up to him and said that he was full of surprises, wondering if you were about to say it again. You seemed to be mulling it over and he found himself eager to put the book down and pull you into that usual position where you somehow managed to fit perfectly into the curve of his arm and his side. “C’mon, let’s get some sleep. I promise I won’t melt.”

The way you bit your lip as you cautiously closed the space between the two of you and curled into his chest as you had every night made Steve’s heart race. Your voice was a soft whisper of acknowledgment before going quiet again, “The Wizard of Oz.” Somehow, knowing it was the last time perhaps, you hesitated to let yourself immediately give in to the exhaustion in your bones. He noticed it, the little scrunch of your nose and the way you fought back a yawn as you hummed out his name to get his attention from behind the book one more time, “Steve.”

He smiled as he looked down at you but his eyebrows furrowed in surprise, just a little, when you hesitated to speak again, so he tried to coax it out of you, “Comfy?”

With a nod the yawn finally escaped you with the question you’d been holding back, “Could you read it aloud until I fall asleep?”

It wasn’t what he’d expected you to say and he hesitated, “You sure? I don’t want to butcher the language and you take offense.”

“I’m tougher than I look.” It was said in such a teasing tone, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, cheeks pink with embarrassment. The pair of you held each other in silence for a moment, a mixture of identical thoughts and emotions. If this was the last night together, was this an unceremonious way to end it? Was this banter, flirting, or a bit of both?

His fingers started drawing their way up and down your back as he broke the silence and began to read aloud, slowly processing the foreign language and what was happening in the story. A part of him thought about the journey home tomorrow and what both of you would be like when you were back in the familiar setting of New York. He thought about you alone with your plants and fish in your small apartment, a few boxes commemorating what had been his first real pocket of happiness since he came out of the ice. “How am I going to fall asleep without you when we’re back in the city?”

The question had passed his lips before he could stop himself, his own tired voice deep and raspy with anxiety he didn’t realize he was harboring until that moment. Steve’s muscles went tight, book unmoving from his face as he frantically tried to find the sentence he’d just read aloud. Then, just as his panic was building, you did something you’d never done before; your hand released the bundle of his shirt and brushed over the muscles of his stomach and sides. Taking a cautious breath he let himself pay attention to the noises of the room and the house. Your pulse and breathing were steady, you’d once again fallen fast asleep against him, and for now, the question was left unanswered.

It shouldn’t have surprised you that Tony was the last person to show up for the scheduled check in once you were settled back in at work. He made sure to push it back and reschedule until it was about ten minutes before you were about to leave. Your head was in a fog, three nights back and you hadn’t been able to sleep. The exhaustion to caffeine ratio was starting to get precarious and you felt almost certain that you would finally fall asleep when you got home this time, regardless of the racing thoughts that seemed to start up just as your head hit the pillow.

Unceremoniously entering the office without a single knock, the billionaire sat on the arm of the loveseat that drank in the light from the window. It was a cozy piece of furniture you’d insisted on and it looked wholly out of place in the Tower with your postcard worthy view of the city. You looked up from your desk, tablet already ready. “Everything sorted out in Spain, Doc?” He asked with a knowing quirk of an eyebrow, but Tony didn’t give you a chance to answer. His hands were clasped in his lap like he was about to play shrink himself and he let out a huff to begin. “I know you left worried about me but don’t be. I’m perfectly fine, better than fine actually.” Your mouth bobbed open to protest, but he waved you off and kept talking. “I’m going to prove it to you too. We’re having a little celebration tonight, just to celebrate the return of our team's favorite medical professional and a successful mission.” You didn’t need to ask if you’d have a say or if small really meant small, not that you needed to. He was up and headed out the door before you could even remark that parties to drink one’s way through a mental health crisis wasn’t exactly convincing. “See you at eight!”

You were half-tempted to shout for him to come back or you’d call Pepper, but his voice echoed from the hallway at the next person he was telling about the party and you shook your head. There truly was no point in bickering with Tony. He was the unrelenting sort that followed through on whatever he set his mind to regardless of the opinions of others, except for Pepper. JARVIS was already talking to you about adding the event to your schedule and chattering about traffic calculations and nearby shops to buy appropriate attire and makeup for the event. In a huff you waved off the voice of the A.I. with a quick, “Thanks, JARVIS.”

It was five minutes to eight when you heard the elevator chime on your abandoned level of the Tower. As you looked at your reflection in the full length mirror in your office, leaning this way and that in the newly purchased cocktail dress that felt fitting for a cool May evening in New York City, you really took a chance to admire the simple but elegant dress in your favorite color. Yet, with every approaching footstep, you worried it was not glamorous or form fitting enough for a Stark Industries event, and you found yourself tempted to put on the dirty scrubs and run home. With those intrusive thoughts, you realized that no Avengers lie in any of the rooms needing care and immediately your chest tightened anticipating the worst as you clutched the closed tube of mascara in your right hand like it was a knife. Then you heard his voice, “Y’know, in the military they taught us that if you’re on time you’re late.” Steve tapped lightly on the door and waved his hand in. “May I come in?”

Chucking the makeup at your purse that sat open with your scrubs on the couch, you tried to act natural despite being all too aware of this being the first time the Avenger you were harboring a slight crush on, albeit one you weren’t ready to admit to yourself, would see you in a full face of makeup. Your rattled nerves and confused emotions left you stammering along to the cadence of your rapid pulse. “Sure, yeah, of course.”

He spun in gracefully, making you realize he’d had his back to the door just in case you weren’t decent. His mouth fell open and you realized yours had too. The blue button up made it impossible to glance at him and not look right into his bright blue eyes. Immediately, you felt like you were back in Mallorca, staring at him across a dinner table, blue skies and blue water bringing you a pocket of peace in the sadness that had threatened to consume you. Before you could get lost in the not-so-distant memory, Steve broke the silence. “That dress didn’t make it to Mallorca.”

“It’s new. I didn’t think I really had anything appropriate, but I’ve also never been invited to one of these things before.” It was true, in three years Tony had never acknowledged you in the same way he praised Dr. Banner or Dr. Cho, not that you wanted that kind of recognition. “I’m hoping it’s under the radar enough where I won’t stick out.”

“You two ready to go in there?” A masculine, vaguely familiar voice called from the hall just before Steve could protest- or at least it seemed like he was going to.

Steve nodded toward the door and you followed, only to find Sam Wilson in the hall. “As happy as I am to see you again, Sam, I think this is a sign that Tony really downplayed the size of the get together tonight.”

“Y’think?” Sam winked. “Don’t worry, we can stick to the outer limits, make them come to us.”

His eyes looked tired, painfully similar to yours, and you wanted to say you missed him but his hand was on your lower back encouraging you to walk into the elevator before him. In an attempt to calm down your nerves, you stayed facing the back corner of the lift, distracting yourself by focusing on the texture of the dress’ material between two of your fingers. Though you swore you could feel the two men staring at you as the numbers climbed a few floors higher, you didn’t turn around. Steve’s hand reached for yours and you took your anchor without hesitation. The pair of them started talking and then the doors chimed, opening to a heavy chatter and music. To your surprise he didn’t let go when you stepped out, looking back at you just for a moment to catch you mouthing a quick ‘thank you’ and he didn’t pull away or pull you closer as you held his hand but walked a step behind him and Sam.

Through the crowd full of strangers, you moved nearly undetected behind the taller men. Anyone that looked in your direction only gave you a fleeting glance before looking back to the Avengers. It wasn’t until the first larger gaggle stopped to greet Steve and ask who Sam was that Steve gave your hand a gentle squeeze and you both let go, fingertips tugging at each other as you slipped away from the crowd. You didn’t look back, feeling eyes on you and wondering if they were Steve’s because you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge that anyone had noticed you or the innocent hand holding.

Natasha found you after a while, two flutes of champagne in hand, as your eyes moved through the ever-growing crowd of unfamiliar but picture-perfect faces. You took one with a grateful smile, “Oh, look at you, Natasha! You look like one of those classic movie starlets. Trying to impress someone tonight?”

With a little wink and a sip of her champagne, she sat next to you. “Don’t drink it all. Tony’s speech is coming and I suspect it will be brief but grandiose. Maria told me there was a bit of a pissing contest between Stark and Thor tonight. Tony and Bruce got into it while you were gone.” She gestured over to the bar where the Asgardian towered over your boss, the pair of them laughing between tight smiles. “They love each other, but they love teasing each other a little more, I think. I have to wonder where we’d all be if it wasn’t for Steve.”

You followed her gaze to the tall blonde, laughing with a smile so big that his eyes were practically closed as his right hand clutched his side. Even with the room so loud you knew exactly what that laugh sounded like and you smiled behind your drink. The man was a magnet and yet you felt Natasha’s gaze on you, knowing full well the spy was trying to read what was going on in your head. For the first time in the entire time of knowing Tony Stark, you were grateful for his little interruption. “Good evening, I wanted to welcome you to Stark Tower after another successful mission. We can and do call it a success thanks to the great mind of Dr. Cho and our residential medic, and the skills of the team under superior leadership.”

With the microphone in one hand, Tony used his free hand to gesture to the stunning doctor at his side who had printed the patch that saved Clint’s life. You felt your throat tighten with embarrassment as he neither used your name nor gestured in your direction, instead discussing the achievement of the technology that saved an Avenger. As an introvert, it was always a bit of a mixture of emotions to both go around unnoticed and to be called out. Natasha clapped and you understood her gratefulness, Dr. Cho had saved Clint, but there was no familiar anchor to get you out of your thoughts. Tony continued, but your skin tingled with nerves and your muscles ached with exhaustion, all while your mind raced telling you to leave. Practically turning off your ears, the speech ended without any further acknowledgement of your work, time at the company, and certainly no mention of your name.

Natasha was soon pulled away and bit by bit the growing crowd moved around until your thoughts weren’t the only thing suffocating you. Downing the last of your champagne, you got up and moved around the room trying to calm your nerves and a few drinks later decided it was best to leave. After all, most of your night had been spent alone, apologizing for taking up space at the bar or a couch and vacating the space to a group that knew each other well. Climbing the short staircase toward the elevator, one hand clinging to the railing as you kept your foggy head down, you realized you were behind Steve and Sam.

“It sounds like a hell of a fight. Sorry I missed it”

“If I had known it was going to be a firefight I absolutely would have called.” Steve was being genuine and you smiled. Too buzzed not to eavesdrop, you recalled the same tone used on you in Mallorca. Chalking up the drinks and singledom as the reason you were lamenting your trip away, you managed to bite your tongue.

“I’m not actually sorry, I’m just trying to sound tough.” Sam laughed softly as they stopped at the landing overlooking the party, elevator doors behind them and your chance to escape. “I’m very happy chasing cold leads on our missing person case. Avenging is your world, and your world is crazy.”

“Be it ever so humble.” You looked back at them as you thumbed the elevator’s button a few more times than necessary. Having never heard Steve talk about Stark Industries and the Avengers’ lifestyle in any sort of negative light, it caught you by surprise.

They went quiet for a moment and you kept your eyes forward on the elevator doors. “You find a place in Brooklyn yet?”

“I don’t think I can afford a place in Brooklyn.” Steve confessed and your eyebrows drew together in confusion. Any place worth living in New York was expensive, sure, but you couldn’t picture him making that bad of a salary as Stark’s right hand when you were making more than you ever would in a hospital or private practice.

Hearing the rustle of keys behind you, you welcomed the chime of the elevator doors hoping to escape unscathed without your liquor-laced tongue embarrassing you. You saw Sam smile at Steve. “Well, home is home, y’know.” Steve nodded in agreement, but his gaze was still toward the crowd below. “Hold the elevator, Doc.”

You hadn’t even noticed that Sam saw you, but if he did then you had no doubt Steve had too. Stepping into the elevator you held the ‘doors open’ button for Sam as you fought to not stare at Steve. “I thought the phrase was home is where the heart is?”

When Steve turned around your eyes immediately met his and slowly your faces mirrored in soft smiles. Internally, you were scolding your lack of self control. “I’m sorry I never escaped the crowd to get a chance to-”

“It’s okay.” You interrupted him quickly as Sam stood between you both cross armed and watching the interaction. “I haven’t slept since we got back and I’m just tired and boring… extra boring really because I’ve had champagne.” Waving off Steve’s apology with rambling as you let go of the button, forcing Sam to get in when the doors moved.

Sam gave Steve a nod goodnight and Steve leaned following the closing doors, “Why haven’t you been… umm, I’ll text.”

With panicked nodding you shouted a quick, “Night,” and the second the doors closed you hid your face in your palm and exhaled, “Shit. Shit, shit, shitty shit. Shit!”

It wasn’t until the elevator still wasn’t moving and then filled with Sam’s laughter that you remembered you weren’t alone. “Did you just realize you were into him?”

Your eyes went wide as you reached around him and hit your office’s floor on the panel, wondering both if he was right and if it was that obvious. The thought itself was quickly rejected, “I think anyone with half a brain cell is into him. Like you said, avenging is his world and his world is crazy.” Saying it stung was an understatement, like you were taking off the rose tinted glasses on your time in Mallorca. A little choked up, you mumbled, “What’s the point in wanting someone you can’t have?”

“Yet here you are, wanting him, right?” Sam leaned over and hit the button for the parking deck. “Does this thing usually run this slow?”

“JARVIS? What’s the hold up?” Slumping against the wall of the elevator you looked over Sam, the alcohol buzzing through your system giving you enough liquid courage to ask, “So, are you into him too?”

With a laugh he shook his head no, “We were both playing wingman for each other tonight. Steve meant what he said. He was upset about never escaping the fan club to get back to you, and that’s on me.”

You were about to scoff, but there was a rumble in the elevator, the sound of metal and something clunking around in the empty chamber beneath the elevator below you. Your eyes went wide and the lights flickered before the elevator went dark and began to free fall.

A/N: Thank you for catching another chapter of my little slow burn series! I’m missing Mallorca already. I hope you don’t mind my taking an extra Sunday to focus on getting this chapter right for you all. Do you think Reader and/or Steve will end up back in Mallorca again? Now that they’re both coming to some terms with there being a spark between them, will Ultron crashing the party will it bring them closer together or drown them in work?

Divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics​​​​

I will be reblogging with tags, send an ask if you’d like to be added either to the series or to one of my other tag lists.

[lovelivingmydreams]

@Meowthefluffy Zombie au au chapter 2

A happy belated birthday to you @meowthefluffy hope you enjoy it.

They had found themselves a safe space in the library. There was an underground parking to hide the car, the windows were high up so while it was well lit no one on the outside would spot movement and they could collect some books to help them survive. Knowledge and skill was crucial. Languages, knots, engineering… Anything that could help them out later. Virgil knew sign language, Janus knew French and Roman knew Spanish. They decided that to be safe they should each learn one additional language. Janus picked mandarin, Virgil Russian and Roman took Arabic. Roman had been very timid ever since they lost the horde. And Virgil hadn’t been exactly eager to talk to him. “V- Virgil? Can we talk?” Roman whispered. Virgil didn’t answer, nor did he look up from under the hood. He was checking over their car to see how long it would last them and what parts would need replacing soon. He wondered if they could make it to the shop to gather supplies for maintenance. “Listen… I understand that you are angry with me…” “Do you?” Virgil snapped as he finally got up, oil smeared over his cheeks, cleaning off his hands with a cloth he shoves in his pocket. He crosses his arms over his chest staring down at Roman. He’s definitely mad. “Because I don’t think you do. We’ve talked about how I feel about consent. But you go ahead and kiss me without so much as a warning! And then you plan to just go off so I can feel guilty and like a crappy person for the rest of my life? Are you that selfish?” Virgil seethed. Roman cringed. He did know. They’d talked about it plenty of times while watching movies. Virgil was not a fan of the ‘confess your love by kissing them without warning’ trope. “I was a coward, I know. It shouldn’t have taken the end of civilization and certain death for me to confess to you. But… I knew you’d be disgusted by me and I just…” “There’s another thing. We’ve been friends since before I can remember. You really think that little off me that I’d feel different about you just because of that?” Virgil growled. Roman looked up surprised. “But… You always laugh when people make those jokes… And…” “And that was wrong of me. I can own up to that. But you never said anything to imply you found them anything other than funny yourself. Has it occurred to you that I might do that for the same reason?” That… Roman hadn’t thought of that. “And didn’t I always come to your defense when people thought you were to girly? What did I say about that?” Virgil pointed out. “That… That I’m a different kind of manly. Like a prince…” Roman recalled. “Hence me calling you princey since kindergarten!” Virgil huffed. Roman’s head was spinning. Trying to make sense of everything he was hearing. “But you’re… You mean you’re…” Virgil was straight right? He did everything right. He rode a motorcycle, wore leather, worked on cars, liked aggressive music and guns… Sure he also wore make up but in a cool way.

Virgil shrugged. “I’ve been questioning myself for a while, I’m not sure. I don’t know how I feel about a lot of stuff right now. At this point I wanna see if either of our families are still around and make it so that we all live.” He stared Roman down again. “All of us. You are not allowed to die on me Roman. Understood? I’m pissed as hell. But that doesn’t change that I’ll keep you safe. Got it?” Roman’s heart went a thousand miles a minute. Virgil was right. With the end of the world hanging over their heads, this wasn’t the time to sort out this mess he’d gotten them in. But one thing was sure. Virgil didn’t hate him because of how he felt. He was mad about what he did and almost did though. And that was fair. If the roles were reversed he probably wouldn’t have been very happy about it either. But things could still be fixed. Maybe. “Yes… I’ll… See if I can put something together for us to eat,” he muttered softly. “There’s some supplies in the trunk. Use the perishables first,” Virgil instructed. Roman nodded. “Right… Good idea,” he said softly as he moved to the trunk and gathered some things to cook a decent meal for three. “I’m really sorry for hurting you Virgil… I just wanted to protect you for once,” he told him before disappearing back inside. Days turned into weeks and Roman had a hard time. Virgil’s anger at him subsided. Roman even woke up a few times finding that Virgil had moved closer to him either in his sleep or due to waking up from a nightmare. And when they were awake he slowly started to relax around him again. Roman wasn’t sure if he was waiting for him to make another move on him or to pull another heroic stunt, but he was slowly trusting that he wouldn’t. Janus was… He was clever. A master strategist, if Roman was completely honest. And he was handsome.  And charming.  And flirty. Towards both of them. But mostly Virgil. And that made Roman nervous. Because what if it wasn’t him but Janus who’d made Virgil question whether he was entirely, strictly into girls? Roman is too insecure to ask. They didn’t find their families. They decided to assume that they got out and were somewhere safe until proven otherwise. If only for their own piece of mind. Virgil recovered his tools from the shop, as well as some extra weapons and ammunition. They managed to raid a few homes and even an apothecary for first aid kits and medicines. Roman held a meticulous catalogue of all their perishable supplies. When Janus hinted at Virgil that he could give him CPR anytime, Virgil calmly deflected him and said that Roman would be the one playing nurse if any of them wanted to survive. “Though you might need to teach me some of the basics soon. I don’t want you to die cause I don’t know how to save you,” he’d added softly. Roman had blushed and nodded. Feeling hopeful that he was getting close to being forgiven. Then one night he woke up and found Virgil sitting at the window of the abandoned classroom they were hiding in for the night. Janus was sleeping. They must’ve switched watch recently. “V?” Roman whispered. They had to talk again. He needed to know where they stood. “You should be asleep Ro. You have three more hours until your shift,” Virgil said softly. Virgil always took the middle watch. Never allowing himself 8 consecutive hours. Roman and Janus both had tried to convince him to switch it up. But Virgil was adamant. Janus took first, Virgil second and Roman third. Virgil claimed that that way they’d all have breakfast waiting when they woke up. But Roman suspected Virgil didn’t want to disrupt his sleeping schedule if he didn’t want to. Ever since they were little, Roman had more trouble staying up late than getting up early. He’d loved getting up early actually. Sunrise was his favorite. Virgil and him had slept under the stars a few times. The only times Roman had managed to stay awake and alert for most of the night. It was almost sunrise when they finally went to bed. “I can’t… We need to talk,” Roman insisted. Virgil looked back. “I guess we do,” he sighed reluctantly. Roman went to sit with Virgil and looked out over the playground. “Are you still angry?” he asked. “… I’m still scared Roman,” Virgil answered finally. “I haven’t been angry with you for weeks. But I’m scared you will do something stupid and I won’t be able to protect you. I was… I froze last time. What if I freeze again and lose you without even trying to stop you?” Roman was shocked to find that Virgil’s eyes were filling with tears. “How do I live with myself if I lose the most important person in my life like that?” he asked. It was hard, trying not to be happy that Virgil said that. But the love of his life was in pain and Roman would be damned if he didn’t take that pain away. “Virgil, I did what I did because I knew you’d freeze up. You always do when you get dropped in unexpected situations. I knew that… That would shake you up enough to let me go. I used my feelings for you and what I knew about you to do what I thought was right. I regret doing that… I’m sorry Virgil. I…” Before Roman could continue he was pulled into a tight hug. “Promise me we’ll stick together from now on. Ok? No matter what you think is best for me. We’re a team alright?” Roman let himself melt into the embrace and nodded into Virgil’s chest. “Ok,” he said softly. The next month things seemed to go back to what would be normal for them under the circumstances if they’d never had a fight. They joked and teased and Virgil was comfortable with showing physical affection again. Roman was even warming up to Janus, who told him that while he enjoyed flirting and everything, he wasn’t very interested in dating of any kind. “Virgil and I have this game we’re playing, but I don’t care much about winning. He’s all yours your highness.” Being friends was much easier after that. There were scary moments. Stray zombies in what they thought was a clear building. Sometimes they found people who’d been infected and locked themselves away to give their family time to escape. But those situations were easily dealt with. The hordes were harder. Luckily they were rare. Only loud noises and bright lights attracted them and they tried their best to avoid both. But sometimes an engine would backfire or an animal would get spooked and make a ruckus escaping.

They didn’t encounter other survivors often. Usually at a distance and it seemed an unspoken agreement to not approach each other. It was the best way to avoid misunderstanding. It was Virgil’s birthday. Roman had done his best to keep track of time and been counting the days to do something nice for him. So he gathered the right ingredients and made the closest approximation to Virgil’s favorite pasta he could. They found themselves in a restaurant, as if the universe agreed to cut them a break and so Roman found the right spices and some unopened tubes of tomato concentrate. They obviously didn’t have ground beef but Janus had gotten good at providing them with fresh meat. Virgil nearly strangled the both of them when he realized what that smell was. The dinner was interrupted by a knocking at the door. It was soft, and rhythmic. Nothing like the way a zombie would sound. Virgil, naturally, took point and stalked towards the door. They all got ready to react if their visitor was hostile. “Good evening… Say, I haven’t smelled anything that good in ages. Mind if I join?”

[heuristicallyinclined]

SPF Five Million or Whatever

Summary: Mspa Reader figures they need some sunlight and recruits a few friends to help them get it.

Rating: T for language

Notes: I haven't written any of the jades before and I really love them and tried my best to capture their dynamic. I really love imagining Mspa Reader's adventures between Friendsim and Pesterquest. I feel like the games were really just scratching the surface of their shenanigans.  

(AO3)

You are pretty sure that people need about twenty minutes of sunlight a day to stay healthy. 

Or at least that is what you think it is. You never really thought about it too much to be honest. Having spent a decent amount of time outside walking, you figured you were getting your daily dose in without much effort, and maybe you just didn’t realize how good you had it, not living on a planet that even passively was trying to kill you. Because right now, you know for a fact you’re getting the ideal amount of sunlight on Alternia, which in your personal experience is fucking ziltch.

You tried it once and learned pretty fast that what might leave you with a healthy glow on Earth, would leave you well done on Alternia, a disgusting state for any piece of meat to be in, let alone your body. So that was clearly an Earth exclusive recommendation. 

Still, you think some sunlight would do you good. 

Especially since you were starting to feel this constant exhaustion after a few months on Alternia. After ruling out your questionable diet and semi existent sleep schedule, you were left with the fact that you were likely getting a vitamin D deficiency. 

Frankly, you have not survived your various trials and many tribulations here on Alternia to let rickets be what finally kills you. Absolutely not. No. You’re too proud to die in the lamest way possible on a planet with significantly more respectable and less preventable ways of dying. 

This does mean you’ll have to face off with the Alternian sun, which really isn’t that much better on the lame death scale. Last time you got caught out during daylight, you got really lucky. You aren’t counting on a second time where a gorgeous cowgirl, alien Lassie, and a lot of dumb luck would happen to rescue you from your own poor life choices. 

So this time, you were going to try to be smart about doing something this monumentally stupid. You were going to get water, a floppy hat, and some ice packs. Now you just had to not do this alone, especially when you knew someone who touted the merits of the buddy system. 

Luckily, you also know a few people who could withstand the sun’s rays. 

Finding out that jadeblood sun resistance was in fact a real thing and not just the latest in fucking with the local alien made this a whole lot easier and left you with a few options to consider. You figured Wanshi was too young to be kept up that late and that you’d rather not traumatize her if this went sideways. Bronya mentioned being busy with a new brood hatching and managing the herd of lusii they attracted to the caverns so that was a no go. Lanque would likely be otherwise occupied or at least claim to be and you’d rather him not see you like this if you could help it. That left you with Daraya, who you knew would be up and likely be down for some alien shenanigans. But most importantly, Lynera.

One massive check in her favor is she already had experience inconspicuously carrying your injured body through the caverns unnoticed by literally anyone else to a secondary location So discretion was clearly already a strong suit of hers. The context for how she even got that much experience in the first place is none of your business, especially now that you’re friends. And you’d say you two were actually pretty close after all the time you’ve spent hanging out with her in the caverns and going out on little cafe trips.

Really, she was the ideal candidate for this by every observable metric. Well, almost.

While she is loyal enough that you knew that she would help you hide a body if asked, she has also threatened enough people for perceived slights against you that she would very likely be the reason there was a corpse hanging around in the first place. So having Daraya be there too was probably a safe move. 

Oh it’s all coming together now.

You were feeling really good about this. Your confidence in yourself, your friends, and your planning abilities carried you through two difficult conversations. One with a veneer of apathy trying to conceal some very real concern, the other incredibly loud and extremely worried, but you got through them and that’s what matters. 

So here you are at the brooding caverns, tucked away inside the turn just before the mouth, clad in some cool guy shades from Cirava, a sun hat from Charun, some shorts from Remele, and a Xoloto brand tank top complete with strategic ripping that makes it basically impossible to wear anywhere in public without a layer underneath. 

Your friends are right here with you. Lynera is alternating between pacing and fretting over the placement of your sun hat for the seventh time to really make sure your hair doesn’t ignite. You know it won’t and you told her it won’t, but you let her fuss. She just needs to do something with her hands to stay calm. You can at least let her have that with what you’re about to do. Daraya checks her palm husk again for the time as dawn steadily approaches. You take a deep breath in, psyching yourself up. 

So you never actually figured out what the Alternian sun equivalent to twenty minutes of Earth sun is. But you think a minute should be enough to do it and not pass out. It feels about right. You have based this off of no math whatsoever, but you’ve done worse with less prep, so you’re not going to let some nerd shit stop you. Especially not now, when you hear Daraya sigh. You know that it’s show time. 

You look at her to confirm as she pockets her device and you see some light begin to stretch into the cavern’s entrance. She looks at it too, frowning as it approaches.

“▲▲ try not to fry your pan ▼▼"

You give her a reassuring smile and run up through the mouth of the cave, and stop just past the entrance, arms up wide and outstretched, like you were doing the YMCA dance and lost rhythm just past the first letter, ready to receive that sunlight you so desperately craved. The sun hits your skin and there is a comfort in feeling’s its warmth after living in eternal night.

You really missed this.

...

Actually, you know what? No you don’t. Fuck this. 

That “gentle warmth” quickly became a scorching blaze and to your credit, you made it a solid ten seconds under the full wrath of that relentless bitch they called a sun before you decided to quit while you were ahead and conscious. You dash back towards the entrance, uncomfortably aware of every step you take. Lynera stops nervously pacing and stiffens when you reenter the shade and runs towards you. Daraya is ready and quickly hands you a water bottle. You struggle to open the cap because of the condensation making the bottle slick and it exacerbates the painful tingle you’re feeling all over your hands. And your face. And your everything actually. 

You continue struggling until you finally succeed in twisting the cap off, but your victory immediately proves to be a hollow one, as your tight grip on the bottle has water going everywhere. 

God. Damn. It. 

You’re vaguely cognisant of a screeching sound somewhere behind you, but you have more important concerns right now. By some absolute miracle, a decent amount of the water seems to have gotten on you and saturated your top, soothing the skin under it. You feel less like you’re on fire and more like you had marinated your entire body in icy-hot for a few hours before getting deep fried. 

You’d like to believe that that is a much more manageable situation. Your skin can’t tell much of a difference though so you waste no time and pour the rest out all over your face like you were a champ who just scored the winning goal instead of a dipshit speedrunning skin cancer. 

Daraya mercifully cracks a cold one with the boys and pours the contents of another water bottle on you like you were a plant she forgot to water. The cool sensation on your skin causes you to sigh in a relief that doesn’t last long, before you lose contact with the ground. Lynera has you thrown over her shoulder and starts quickly making her way back into the caverns to her respiteblock. The physical contact takes that previous painful tingle and absolutely fucking floors it, bringing you to a familiar world of pain that your ass was very content not revisiting. Daraya keeps pace behind the two of you with her arms crossed the face of someone who is totally not panicked.

You try to calm them, telling them you feel better already. Really, you mean it. 

This just causes Lynera to speed up and Daraya to grimace down at you instead of giving you an actual response. 

While, yes, you resent having flesh, you actually feel really awake right now. 

Daraya narrows her eyes. “▲▲ you mean from the pain? ▼▼”

No. No. That's different. And way more familiar. 

God. Despite looking like a freshly hatched octogenarian, Lynera can really book it. 

She carries your limp, increasingly dizzy body with ease. You knew she was deceptively strong and fast first hand, based off of her being able to immediately able to knock you the fuck out and lug you back to her combination study block murder dungeon. Honestly, being able to do anything with an alien discreetly deserves commendation. Commendation up and out the wazoo. 

You’re about to attempt to try to verbalize that thought, but just before the turn to get to Lynera's study block, she suddenly stops. She nervously glances between this hallway and another adjacent one one. Daraya almost bumps into her but stops herself just in time. 

"▲▲▲ what are you doing? We said we were just going to put them in a spare recuperacoon ▼▼▼" Daraya whisper yells. 

"They're a new color Daraya !!!" Lynera whisper yells to the point of negating the whisper part of the whisper yell and more just using a normal speaking volume with a hiss. “-they need !!! A medicull kit !!!”

Oh. You glance down at one of your dangling arms. That happened fast. In retrospect, you should have mentioned that was a thing that would potentially happen. How did you forget that?  

“▲▲▲ and do what? A medicull kit could make them worse. We don’t know shit about aliens ▼▼▼”

“-!!! well how would you know all of their injuries were taken care of! that we didnt miss anything!”  

“▲ they’re fine. We just, I don't fucking know? Rotate them in the slime? ▼”

“-like some sort of !!! rotisserie cluckbeast !!!” Lynera indignantly whisper shrieks. 

"▲▲ No!▼▼" Daraya quickly defends. The way her eyes quickly glance to the side seems to imply that's kind of exactly what it's like. 

Just like them rotisserie chickens. 

The longer their arguing went on, the more uncomfortably aware you were getting about the fact that you had a body and Lynera's clothes felt like steel wool grating against your poor skin. That and describing what they were doing as “whisper arguing” was becoming more and more of a stretch as it went on and started to get louder. You were worried you were going to attract unwanted attention. 

It is as soon as you have that thought, that a door opens, and you see an irritated Lanque groggily peek his head through to find the source of the commotion. 

His face remains still at first, blinking tiredly as he takes in the fuckery and only opens the door wider when the other two turn at the sound of his door opening and he registers you slumped over Lynera’s shoulder with a single raised brow. 

You smile and wave at him, despite how lightheaded her turn had you feeling, and Daraya quickly pulls your hand down and stands in front of you like there was nothing to see here. You let out a weak, “ow,” as she did, your flesh protesting at the touch. She glances back at you quickly, before exasperatedly turning to look back at Lanque with her arms crossed.

“▲▲ what? ▼▼”

He measuredly looks at the scene before him. Really taking in all of the bullshit before side eyeing Lynera. 

“You threW the alien into broad daylight? EVen for you, that's crazy.” He almost sounds surprised, before smiling sweetly, “NoW Who’s going to tolerate you?” 

Lynera sputters something, clearly offended, but Daraya cuts her off with a groan, 

“▲ they literally need sunlight to live Lanque ▼”

His face twists. “Are they a fucking plant?” 

“-no!!!" Lynera considers for a moment before yelling again just as loud. “-most likely not!!!”

He looks from your trio, to the small puddle of water forming under you, and glances back to the trail of water you apparently had dripping from you this whole time. 

You know, you’re really starting to see the plant angle here. 

“▲▲ look they just needed some stupid sunlight and we hung around to make sure they didn’t just get too cooked or whatever. What, are you going to tell Bronya on us? ▼▼" Daraya half mocks, half asks.

“No, of course not.” Lanque almost seems offended. “I don’t see any reason to inVolVe myself With you tWo Watching the alien give themselVes sun sickness.”

You ask no one in particular what sun sickness is.

“-can aliens get sun sickness???” Lynera asks with a newfound panic.

Lanque irritatedly replies, “HoW Would I knoW?” 

You feel briefly dejected that no one answered. Until another thought crosses your mind. It wasn’t related to anything occurring at the moment, but it was weird enough that you don’t know how this was the first time you had ever really thought about it. Maybe the events of this morning were what it took for you to even be able consider this quandary. 

Why do they say troll before a name? Like troll Will Smith? Doesn’t that imply there is another kind of WIll Smith? Like if they’re all trolls, why say troll? Oh shit, is that why they do it? Did you tell them about human Will Smith or would that be like human Whillh Smithh? Human Willhh Smyyth? 

You rack your mind for other ways of making Will Smith a valid troll name, concentration evident on your face. 

Lanque looks at you like you’re an idiot. “What the fuck are you talking about? You're just repeating the same name.”

The spelling? You narrow your eyes as you consider the spelling. It is the clearest thing in the world right now to you. It’s spelled different Lanque.

“I can’t hear how it’s spelled.”

Daraya’s eyes widen. "▲▲ They fried their fucking pan ▼▼ " 

You still don’t know what sun sickness is, but you strongly suspect you may have it, especially since most of what happened afterwards was kind of a blur. 

What you think you can remember is the sound of someone coming. Quick, determined footsteps that you couldn’t recognize, but Lynera clearly could as she stiffened first. She maybe said something about Bronya doing a curfew round? You think? Either way, it had everyone else on immediate edge and was enough for Lanque to decide this wasn’t worth staying awake for. He made a final comment and you heard a door shut, leaving your trio behind. 

Daraya and Lynera exchanged words, finally remembering the “whisper” part of whisper yelling. They came to an agreement of some sort with Lynera nodding and heading to her studyblock and Daraya going off in the direction of what was probably Bronya.

Mentally, you are pressing F to pay your respects. Physically though, you register your orientation rapidly shifting. While you weren’t crazy about your position over Lynera's shoulder, what with her sweater vest grating against your torso and all, it turns out you enjoyed being moved out of it even less. The blood running away from your head had you feeling woozy in a whole new way.

To her credit, Lynera did not just immediately dunk you into the recuperacoon a la Space Jam like you’re sure she wanted to. She instead carefully lets you sink into it with a gentleness that starkly contrasted her worry. Normally, you would say that being put into a vat of slime is not an experience you would be looking forward to. Right now though, you’re loving it. It is an absolute godsend as it acts a cool balm against your skin.

Lynera continues and gingerly removes your shades and places them on an end table next to your sunhat. You were about to thank her and let her know she was in fact “a real one,” but you got cut off by her grabbing a handful of slime and smearing it on your face. 

You sputter and instinctively try to move away, but you’re no match for her. She’s dealt with fussy grubs with sharp teeth for way too long to actually be deterred by your feeble efforts to resist. You don’t know how you’d rate the experience between, “children haphazardly covering you in slick grease paint” to “alien clay mask ensuring you don’t have enough skin to even entertain having clogged pores,” but you aren’t in a position to be opposed to it. It actually feels kinda nice when it’s in a smooth, even layer and not a huge fucking dollop on your face. 

When she’s done, she wipes her hands while saying something to you. You don’t really register it, so you just kinda smile and nod. It’s your usual go to when you aren’t quite sure what is happening around you and it hasn’t led you too astray in the very many times you’ve done it. You’ll just ask her what she said in the evening.

Lynera seems pleased and starts moving to turn off the lights. Before she does, you thank her. She smiles at you, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and glances back at you as she goes, leaving you feeling warm inside and out for two extremely different reasons. 

You settle down, trying to get cozy. You're not going to pretend you know much about sopor slime. You assumed it comes from a plant and haven't tried to confirm that little theory of yours because you need to believe that for your own sake. It's plant goo. From some kind of alien aloe vera or something. An extremely fleshy plant just ripe with goo for the taking. If you ever learn otherwise, no you didn't. 

After you wake up and wipe off the slime, you find that you’ve healed surprisingly quickly. You’re still very tender to the touch, you find that out real fast, but your skin looks a lot less irritated than when you last saw it. This bit of good news and vitamin d that you assume you now have coursing through your veins that hopefully was not mostly used up on healing your skin, puts a little pep in your step as you get ready for the night. Before you exit the caverns, you feel a pang of hunger.

You can practically hear Bronya reminding you how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so you walk into the meal block, figuring that no one would mind too much if you grabbed a breakfast bar or two before you left. Maybe you’ll even get lucky and find the ones that kind of taste like peanut butter and are crunchy for reasons you’d rather not identify. You aren’t alone when you enter. Lanque is there, sitting at a table. He looks up from his palm husk and eyes you.

“Did you change color?”

Yeah. Humans being exposed to sunlight makes them create a protective pigment so they're more able to be exposed to the sun.

“I’m fascinated.” he says, anything but. “So you're going to turn jade?” 

No, more of a slightly darker version of what you are now. 

He hums, now totally disinterested and looking back down at his chittr feed. Guess the limits of your rainbowdrinker like attributes have worn off on him. 

Anyways, this just means that this will be easier next time you go out during the day. 

That statement gives him pause. Lanque looks up from his palm husk, looking out before glancing at you dubiously. 

"Next time?" 

[fandom-------queen]

Kurt x reader

Warnings: Sparring

Notes: your mutation is the ability to read people's fears and traumatic memories. You can also produce illusions for everyone to see or put an illusion only in one person's head. These illusions can be based on their fears or memories. Also since it's based off of Wanda and more of the mind stone your power will be yellow and your eyes will glow yellow.

*Also I'm so sorry this took so long I just had so many papers I had to write last week that it was hard for me too write once I finished them. Also I had to rewrite it a few times when I forgot to hit save. Do again I am very sorry for the delay.

*Not proofread

You awoke to the obnoxious blaring of your alarm. You turned away from the noise to bury your face into your pillow but found yourself face to chest with Kurt. You grinned as you remembered how you fell asleep in Kurt's arms last night. Kurt groaned and reached over you to shut the alarm off then pulled you closer to him and started to drift back off. You lifted your head up and mumbled "Ah ah ah love, as much as I would love to lie here all day we have classes and training." Into Kurt's neck. He gave a groan in response and blinked one eye open giving a toothy smile as you lifted your head from his neck and sit up a bit to smile down at him.

"Oh liebe you are most definetly the best site to wake up to"he said his voice gravelly with sleep.

"Oh Kurt" you mimiced a sly grin covering your face and mischief gleaming in your eyes 'your my favorite pillow to wake up on."

You didn't think it was possible for Kurt to grin even bigger and he was so adorable with his purple tinted cheeks. This was most definetly the best way to wake up, giving Kurt all your love and seeing the look of absolute adoration on his face. The giddy feeling you got from moments like these were better then anything else in the world.

"I have to go to my room and change, but I vill see you for breakfast in a few minutes" he kissed you on the forehead and walked to the door giving you one last smile before leaving your dorm. The need to see Kurt again had you changing in recorded breaking time.

Kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt

You met up with Kurt, Peter, Jean and Scott after grabbing some food. You sat at the table And all had a lovely discussion if who had done the home work this time. Let's be honest you and your fellow mutant friends had a schedule of who would do the homework for each class then at breakfast you would all trade the homework. It was actually really nice to sit there and chat with your friends while copying down important dates for mutants throughout history. And before you knew it all the homework was done and you and your friends where on your way to professor Xavier's literature class. You and all your friends could hardly pay attention because in a few hours after lunch the rest of the afternoon would be simulation training.

Kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt

You, Jean, Kurt, Scott and Peter had just finished scarfing down lunch and were grinning excitedly as you grabbed your training clothes. After changing you all raced to the training room to meet up with Charles and Mystique, Peter obviously won, but you and Kurt came in second when he saw Peter speed ahead and decided to grab you and *BAMF* to the training room.

Charles and Mystique were getting the simulation set up with the help of Hank as the other filled in behind you Peter and Kurt. Everyone loved simulation training it was good to excersize your powers almost like stretching muscles. The rest of the week you would spend doing hand to hand and minor excersize but this was how you put it all to the test and everyone loved it, especially since you would get out of your last class of the day in order to have time to get ready for the simulation.

"Alrighty then" Charles grinned as he wheeled over to you all. "You will be working through the sentinel simulation again" this was most definetly one of the harder stimulations since in the sentinels could mic your powers. You all moved into the simulation room excited to display your powers and impress your teachers. You lined up in the middle of the room and heard Hank's voice through the speakers

"Are you all ready" you all gave a thumbs up for them to see from the window at the top of the wall. The tiles in the room began to change as the images were projected on them and it looked like you were all in a dilapatated town that had been destroyed by sentinels. You looked around not seeing any signs of them besides the damage they had left when all of a sudden you heard a stomp and felt the ground tremble slightly beneath you. Your heads snapped in the direction if the sound and watched as the sentinels walked towards you. There were five of them there, one for each of you. Sentinels were hard for you to fight since they didn't have a mind for you to manipulate, however they couldn't tell the difference from reality and your illusions, which made you to work on them. This was honestly good since projecting so much and so far was definetly harder so the more practice the better.

The sentinels started towards each of you and you all split up, weaving past crumbling buildings and down deserted roads. You took cover behind a smashed car and watched as the sentinel looked around for you. Just as the sentinel recognized you your hands lit up with yellow energy and multiple mutants appeared, each with different abilities. Some were shooting fire, other ice and water, one was flying above. The sentinel looked around constantly being distracted by the other mutants while your illusions gif you, which gave you the opportunity to look for shrapnel you could use to jam into the sentinel. You noticed a metal beam on the other side of the sentinel that had been crushed into pieces with sharpened ends. You rushed over to grab it and in your moment of excitement your illusion no longer hid you.

You were half way to the beam when the sentinel raised it's hand and smacked you into a building, despite the fact that all of this was a simulation it still felt real and in your disorientation your illusion fell and the sentinel was no longer distracted by the other mutants.

Your vision swam for a few moments but you didn't let that stop you from scrambling up and looking around for a place to take cover while you created a new illusion. You were boxed in with no where to go so you did the only thing you could, you cast an illusion. This time you had roots crawling up its feet as mud cemented it all together. Your eyes were glowing this time as you had to concentrate harder and use more energy. You darted past the sentinel, barely missing the sentinels hand attempting to grab you. You kept on sprinting towards the shrapnel when you heard the ripping if roots from the ground. You glanced behind you and watched as the sentinel freed itself and started towards you. Desperate for more time and thoughts impaired you watched as a giant wall if ice formed it was thick enough to give you enough time to run to the shrapnel. You sprinted over to the shrapnel and as you reached it you felt a slight burst of warmth on the back of your neck. You whipped around to watch as the sentinel finished burning through the ice and walked towards you, you only needed a little bit of time so you altered the illusion to push the sentinel back to the other end of the street. It was taking longer to pull the metal out since you had to focus on pushing the sentinel back. It was close to being all the way pulled out do you pushed the sentinel back one last time before dropping the illusion and yanking the metal out all the way. You turned toward the sentinel gripping the shrapnel you created the last part of your plan by setting up another block of ice and watching as the metal lifted to expose the heat from underneath. You started to climb a fire escape that was still attached to a semi intact wall.

You reached a decent height and waited as the sentinel broke free. You jumped down from the fire escape into the sentinel, your suit protecting you from getting burned by the still hot metal on the sentinel. Your idea would potentially toast you but this was the only way you could jam the metal through. You cast a mutant with the ability of ice again. The sentinel immediately turned on the heat again and as the metal lifted you took the shrapnel and shoved it between. You felt the sentinel jerk as the metal cut through the sentinel. The sentinel started to fall and you clung to it having completely forgotten to come up with a way down. The fall wasn't as bad as you had anticipated only jarring you a little.

You jumped up and raced down roads to find the others. You heard the signature *BAMF* and raced towards it. You smiled as you saw Kurt teleporting around the sentinel and wrapping rope around the sentinel. He then *BAMFED* out of the way of the sentinel as if crashed to the ground, Kurt was looking around to find something to finish the sentinel off with as the sentinel's eyes to fire a lazer at Kurt. Desperately you called out Kurt's name and cast an illusion of multiple Kurt's he caught on to what was happening and *BAMFED* next to you.

"Thanks liebe" Kurt said with a light kiss to your cheek.

"Anytime" you smirked. Kurt grinned when he saw the yellow in your eyes and around your hands as you kept the multiple Kurt's to confuse the sentinel.

You watched as Peter sped next to you.

"How do we disable these things" he panted annoyance displayed across his features.

An idea occured to you, "Keep away from the the sentinels" you warned. "I will distract them but I need you two to make a small square around the sentinels. " Kurt *BAMFED* off and was all of a sudden back and handed the rope to Peter who quickley created the rope ring. You changed the illusion to creating a cage right outside of the rope ring. You added random mutants crawling all over the two sentinels as they tried to kill the non-existent mutants and ended up beating each other up. In addition they were tripping over the rope, until one of the mutants destroyed the other. With only one left Kurt took a page out of your book and *BAMFED*. He came back and noted how tired you were.

"Move out of the way liebe, I don't want you hurt even if it is just a simulation." You nodded in agreement not only due to exhaustion but also because you wanted to make sure that Peter and Kurt got an opportunity to display their powers and impress your teachers. Peter began to speed around as the sentinel prepared to lazer him(same way that Scott does, through the eyes). At that moment Kurt *BAMFED* onto the Sentinels head and shoved the shrapnel through his eyes.

He *BAMFED* next to you and you watched as the simulation ended meaning all sentinels had been destroyed. You looked over and saw Kurt and Jean walking towards you covered in sweat but grinning none the less. The doors opened to let you all out of the simulation room and you met your teachers. Charles came forward grinning.

"That was brilliant, all of you did spectacular" you all gave tired grins. "Now you have the rest of the weekend to rest and of course finish you papers for my class." He added before a collective groan resounded between the five of you. "Now go shower you all reek" he gave you one last smile before wheeling away with the rest of the teachers.

Kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt

You had showered and changed into much comfier clothes. Before bounding to Kurt's room where he answered your door with a grin and a "Hey liebe" before grabbing you and diving beneath the covers of his bed. You chuckled as you hugged him tight to you. "You did so good today sveetheart"he mumbled as he nuzzles his head into your neck, his muscles relaxing fully.

"Well handsome you too were fantastic, I was exhausted after the first sentinel so there was no way I would have stood a chance without your brilliant idea of using rope "

"Always the perfect team liebe"

"Always the perfect team Kurt"

Kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt kurt

*I thought the metal was okay to disable the sentinel since they weren't made out of metal to prevent mutants like Magneto from controlling them.

[escapewriter]

Light of My Life

pairing : minghao x reader

synopsis : what’s better than celebrating your boyfriend’s birthday rapunzel style?

genre : whole lotta fluff and a bit of humor

word count : 2k

warnings : slight mentions of murder but its a joke

a/n : for minghao’s birthday😌 it isnt a lot like how i wanted but it does justice lol. also, lets pretend they weren’t by the ocean lol

svt written masterlist || main masterlist

You sat in your apartment opening the box you received from the mail today. Jun had helped you plan this date for Minghao for his birthday and this item would complete the whole date. You pulled out the lanterns that were in a plastic bag and scanned them. 

“Perfect,” You place them carefully in the picnic basket, finally set for your date with Minghao tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz on the table.

Minghao : hi yn, what you up to?

You smiled at his text, grateful that he took the time to text you even with his busy schedule 

You : i am currently preparing for our date tomorrow :D

Minghao : ooo how exciting. can i know what you have planned??

You : you should know the answer to that question 

Minghao rolled his eyes as he stared at his screen. Of course you would turn the tables on him, he always made your dates a surprise. 

Minghao : no fair :(

You : how is this not fair??

Minghao : cuz i want to know lol. 

You contemplated but stood your ground; you can’t tell him. 

You : guess you just have to find out tomorrow. 

Minghao sighed, giving up on attempting to find out what you have planned. 

Minghao : fine. but don’t think ill tell you what i have planned for your birthday. 

You : yeah yeah i know. dont you still have practice?

He looked at the clock in the practice room and then to some of his members who were sitting on the floor or standing. 

Minghao : yeah i should probably get going. its late too, you should sleep. 

You : i will dont worry. stay safe and dont push yourself. 

Minghao : i wont. goodnight my love, i love you.

You : i love you too. 

You locked your phone and took the basket, placing it on the kitchen counter. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day. 

~

You placed the basket with all the supplies you needed in the trunk of your car, deciding to make it a surprise. Taking the other basket that you prepared this morning with various types of food, you put it in the backseat behind the drivers side. Getting in, you started the car and headed to Minghao’s dorm. 

You tapped the wheel in excitement, you finally get to have some part of the day with Minghao before his birthday. It was November 6th, so it wasn’t exactly his birthday, but you did get to have him until midnight and that’s all that counts. And it made your plan perfect. 

You got to the parking garage and texted your boyfriend that you were downstairs waiting. After 5 minutes, you see the elevator open and Minghao step out, looking as handsome as ever. 

He approached the car and got into the passenger seat, giving you a quick kiss. “Hi,” he smiled at you, “Hi,” you smiled back. You began to pull out of the building, picking up a small conversation with each other.

“How was the drive?” You turned down the radio, “Same as usual, smooth, nothing wrong, I was safe.” He smiled, happy that you had a decent ride, “That’s good. So, where are we going?”

You took your eyes off the road to look at him for a split second before focusing back on the road. A grin creeped onto your face, “You’ll find out soon Hao. Be patient, you’ll love it.”

“No, I know I’ll love it, I just have to let my manager know because of protocol,” You sighed, “Is that really the reason?” He looked outside the window, playing with his rings, “Half of it, they told me to have fun.” 

You smiled and turned up the radio, “Shut up and enjoy the ride baby. Trust, you’ll enjoy it more.”

~

“This is nice,” Minghao sighed beside you on the picnic blanket. “Yeah it is.”

All the food in the basket was empty, mainly Minghao devouring most of it. “So, what are we gonna do now?” You looked at the time on your phone. Sun sets at 6:45 and it’s 3:50. You have three hours for what you have planned so it should be enough. 

“I’ll be right back, I have to get something.” You got up quickly and retrieved the extra basket that was in the trunk. You returned to Minghao, “Ta da!” 

“More food??” You laughed and sat down in your place, “No, an activity. Jun actually helped me with the idea.” You opened up the basket, taking out of the things you packed inside, “What is this YN?” He picked up one of the lanterns. 

“It’s a lantern. I packed all these art supplies so we could decorate them and light them up and release them. Originally, I wanted to do it at midnight because that’s when your actual birthday is, but the timing wasn’t right, and plus it’s dangerous during nighttime.” 

He looked at you with his mouth agape, “That’s so,,, thoughtful. I can’t believe you came up with this.” 

“Actually Jun-” “-let’s just give you the credit for now.” You smiled at him as he leaned over and kissed you on the lips. You held his face in place as his right hand was planted in between the two of you so he wouldn’t lose balance. Pulling away, you smiled at each other, “Happy Birthday my love.” 

“Thank you, I love you so much. Now! Let's get to painting!”

~

“My lantern looks like crap oh my god,” you looked at the blue blob on your cylinder object. “I’m sure it looks fine YN, just keep going.” You put down the paint brush and looked at your boyfriend. 

He’s been in ‘The8’ mode ever since you two started painting. He didn’t want you to see what he was making, so it became a rule that when you both finish, that’s when you present your pieces to each other. 

“I don’t know why you’re not letting me see yours, it’s not like I haven’t seen you paint before.” You continued to try and make your blob look presentable by drawing a happy face, “You know, when you took me out here in like the middle of nowhere, I thought you would’ve killed me, broken up with me and left me here to starve, or go cloud watching.”

You looked at him with a weird face, “Well for one thing, there are no clouds today. And two, I wouldn’t have let you starve, that’s too painful.” You finally looked up at you, “So you would’ve killed me?” 

You purse your lips, “Would you rather starve to death?” He rolled his eyes and looked back down at his artwork. 

“I get that Jun helped you with this, but like, how did the idea come about?” You painted mindlessly while pondering on an answer, “Well I thought of you and what you would like, even if you said anything. But I just thought about what you meant to me, like how lanterns are bright when you light them up, and when you release them, they float. It’s a really bad metaphor, but you’re like my lantern. You’re the light of my life and every time I’m with you, I’m always on cloud nine. Plus it fits with your culture.”

He was looking at you when you tried to sneak a peek at his lantern. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just see you try to look at my lantern. But besides the point, that was really cheesy, but I love you.” You smiled and put down the brush. 

“Well, I’m done with mine.” You looked at him, seeing him also set down his brush, “Me too. Do we let it dry and assemble it?” You contemplated on your answer for a bit, “Uhh, I could probably assemble mine because it looks like trash anyway, but if you like yours, let it dry a little and then assemble it.” 

~

Minghao just finished assembling his lantern after it dried for a bit. It was currently 6:50, the sky was just turning into various shades of orange, pink and purple. “Okay, wanna see mine now?” You looked at your boyfriend and he held his lantern behind his back, “Show me.”

He brought it in front of him and lifted it up, slowly turning it to see the details that he drew on. “Wow, it looks beautiful, I can’t really see it.”

He brought it back down and signaled for you to scoot closer, “This here, is the bouquet of your favorite flower that I got you for Valentines Day,” You smiled as he turned it a little to move to the next picture, “This is the tree that we sat by on one of our dates. The one where a bird pooped on you,” You laughed and slightly hit his shoulder, “I can’t believe you put that there.”

“How could I not? It was an amazing memory. Anyway, this is a drawing of our matching bracelets, I didn’t want to paint it because I thought it would ruin it, so it’s a bit plain.” You shook your head, “No it’s beautiful.” He turned it to the final piece.

“This is a picture of us, or a silhouette of us. We’re watching the lanterns fly up into the beautiful sky together.” You felt a tear drop fall from your eye, “Aw crap what the fuck? Why am I crying?” You giggled and quickly tried wiping away the tears with your hands as Minghao laughed beside you. 

He put down his lantern and pulled you in closer to him, “Why are you crying though, baby?” You sniffed, “Because this is a celebration for you, and I feel like I should’ve painted something beautiful for you.” You kissed your forehead softly, “I don’t care what you paint baby, as long as I’m here with you, it doesn’t matter.”

“I kinda don’t want to release that one, it’s too beautiful.” He looked at you with a pout, “but I painted the future.” 

You laughed, checking your phone, “Okay fine. It’s 7:10, we should light it up now.” 

You both got up, lanterns in your hands. Grabbing a lighter, you lit yours and then Minghao’s, “Ready YN?” You held the hand that he held out, “I feel like I’m in high school musical,” he laughed, squeezing your hand, “Keep it PG, we do not makeout in public.”

“Okay,” You rolled your eyes with a smile, “On the count of three.” You both gazed into each other’s eyes, “1. 2. 3.” 

You both let go of the lanterns and saw them slowly float into the sun-kissed sky. You felt Minghao release your hand before hearing jazz music begin to play and feeling his arms wrap around your waist, swaying softly to the music. 

“Of course jazz music.” You heard him chuckle behind you, “Well, you can’t blame me, it’s a perfect time for it.” You smiled and leaned more into his embrace.

“Did you like the date?” He hummed in response, his chin on your shoulder, “It was perfect. I loved it a lot, thank you for making this special for me.” 

“Of course. It’s, well almost your big day after all.” You turned around, placing your hands on his shoulders and his on your waist. “Happy Birthday my love,” He smiled at you, heart filled with love and happiness as he looked into your eyes more. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss to your lips, taking your breath away. You would never get tired of this feeling. 

Pulling away, you smiled at each other before he looked up, “We should take a picture.” He took out his phone from his pocket, pausing the music and switching on the camera. He held it at a low angle to get the lanterns in the picture, but also getting the sunset in the background.

“Say cheese!” Instead of smiling at the camera, you placed your lips on his cheek, him capturing the moment perfectly. “You sly person,” you giggled and quickly pecked his lips. You grabbed his phone and resumed the jazz music. 

Hold out your hand, “I believe we were dancing earlier?” He gave you a smirk and took your hand into his before pulling you closer, the two of you watching the sunset and dancing slowly to the sound of jazz.

[devils-servent]

And the were roomates

summary 

Mika and the boys are quarantining together, and it's great...till a good ole game of truth or dare gets outta hand and it all goes up in flames. The tension is real.

This exsists because of a post @elvingleaf made, thats here, that post was a normal statement, then i came along and well this....

also @lovedoglover9987 and @loveisafunnything its done~ 

this gets spicy...

“This is fine, this is fine,”  is what she kept telling herself over and over. Face bright red as she sits between these Demons. All eyes in the room were staring at her, basically undressing what was left of her. They could smell Mikas' arousal.

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Mika and the boys were quarantining togething due to the virus. The boys all had time off work and she only had to do some school work after being laid off from her part time job at the pink lady cafe.

Mika and the boys lived together for years now anyway so it wasn’t too hard but… due to social distancing in public and the closing of bars and nightclubs the need for energy had become...frequent. Not to mention their presence had become more frequent, mika was usually home alone. Ya know?  But the consistent eye candy wasn’t a big issue.

But Mika wasn't quite used to their constant presence, usually there would always be some time alone for mika. No hot shirtless inubi waltzing around the place like they owned it.  

Still the boys were nice about it, asking to cuddle with her and watch a movie, have mika sit in their laps while they did something or even just hold her hand. Just little things throughout the day not taking up much time. Just like it used to be before the boys got used to the outside world.

At first…

You see her college work got overwhelming at a certain time leading Mika to spend a lot of time in her room and away from the boys. It also ruined her sleep schedule. So the simple energy grabs were not as frequent and they moved to...well they moved to....they moved to make outs...lots and lots of makeouts and hookups.

Which is fine in theory.... Theory, see those said makeout left mika...frustrated.

Like when she was walking into the library with the intention of swapping a textbook and was startled by james’ sudden movement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James are you okay--” she asked as he rushed toward her, his long strides intimidating Mika slightly as he slowly pinned her to the wall holding back his golden glow.

His enthrallment took her off guard and forced a heated, painful, arousal through her body letting a small moan slip out and James to give a smug little grin.  Still his lips quivered, a little desperate, breathing in mikas increasing forced arousal, breathing in her sweet scent, her body sagging under his height as he spoke,

“Miss may i-”  

He was cut off with a kiss, a long kiss. A make out session, if you will. Her body pushed itself up against James, not having felt another's sexual touch in a while. Her body molded with his as the kiss turned sloppy, desperate. Bodies grinding against eachother fuling the heated haze they both created.

Or the time Mika and Matthew were cooking, kitchen cupboards are a good thing to rest against in a feisty kiss she concluded. A perfect place to have someone between your thighs… His hands pulled mika closer to the edge of the counter as he knelt between her thighs, face buried between them, tonge teasing her folds and lips suckong her clit as if his life depended on it.

As is a bathroom sink, well not the actual sink. But her back against the cold mirror towel slipping down due to her arched back, as Sam kissed up her neck. Warm lips contrasting the cool mirror she was being pressed against. Head tilted back on the steaming mirror giving access to the sensitive parts of her neck.

Or even the gazebo post, cool nights were amazing weren't they? Perfect for contrasting the waves of heat That coursed through her body with an incubus on either side.Both relashing in her moans, and the energy seeping off her like heat to an oven. Not like she wasn't as hot as one.

~~~~~~~~~

Point is she was and is the boy's energy source, well main source,  for the foreseeable future. Not that she really minded. But it was hard, it was like their enthralment bleed off of them 24 hours a day. Being around them sometimes made her become flushed.

A part of her was glad her school work picked up,it helped clear her mind. Release the fog of need that shrouded it.

The other part craved their touch. It missed fingers tracing her curves, hot breath in her ears. Panting in her ears. The crescendo of moans that would reverberate through the halls. The shaking limbs, the desperation that ran through her veins she missed the feeling of an orgas crashing though her body drowning her in bliss.  

Even the thought could get her worked up....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now there they are, it's a friday evening and all of them are stuck in a competitive game night with remnants of the pizza they’d all had ordered, with a few slices left in boxes around the room. The pizza boxes...well they sat on the couches instead of them, with Mika sat on the floor head in Damiens lap as he played with Mikas baby hairs. Erik sat on Mika’s, left Matthew to the right with Sam by Mathew's side and James in the one free arm chair.

They did this each Friday since this disease had surfaced, the game night, not the pizza eating. It was James' way of ‘keeping the morale’ also known as not becoming hermits to any games console or internet reaching device. But all of them were bored. They’d been doing it for weeks and it was starting to become repetitive.

Sighing sam reached for his phone, “it's not even 9 pm, so I can't even go to bed yet”

Damien chuckled at his brother's annoyance. they all had played everything from monopoly -which got stopped due sam getting huffy at james owning a third of the board-  to uno which damien had unsurprisingly won.

Perking up matthew smiled, “lets play truth or dare”

An unceremonious grown erupted from Mika and sam caused Erik to chuckle at the pair of them and their whining, ”It won't be that bad Sam, hehe, princess”

Matthew nodded in agreement “and besides we've never played as a group,or...or at all actually?” he questioned getting a nod from damien.

“I'll play,” Damien offered, his hand playing with Mika's hair as Erik smiled in agreement.

“As will I”

“I see no harm, Miss?.'' James said, giving a smile, as he joined all of them in sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace.  Mika followed suit leaving only Sam's opinion.

“Ugggg fine, how are we deciding who chooses who or whatever” he tried to whine but Sam was interested, all of you could tell.

Mika shrugged, muttering that she “doesn't think this will end well” as Daimen chuckled above her sitting her beside him and earning a mini glare as he took away the comfortable spot in his lap--

“Pass me that empty bottle Sam?” Sam tossed the bottle to Damien as he set it on the floor between them,

“There who ever spins it gets to ask who it lands on truth or dare.”

“Oh like spin the bottle then?” Mika asked and was given a nod as Erik piped up, ’Would You like to play that instead?’ and was shot down by James for obvious reasons.

“Let's play,” Matthew reached for the bottle as sam piped up,

“We aint playing no kids game. You gotta ask hard questions and whoever doesn’t answer-”  He shot out of the room only to come back with a bottle of vodka and some shot glasses,

“takes a shot, OR,” he silenced james’ incoming argument “ they take off a piece of clothing.” he smirked at Mika, the fuckin pervert.

Mika could pretend she was surprised but he always was a perv. Taking any chance he got to slip his wandering hand up her skirts while they’d be watching a movie or even just eating dinner. His fingertips would trace the edges of her skirts and shorts. Hands would dip in to the waistband of her sweatpants and he’d always try to---

“The person either drunkest or nakedest has to do whatever the most clothed/soberest person says for 24 hours. Deal? “

Mika shrugged and the other brothers nodded. James added that they cap it at two shots and all of them reluctantly agreed. Upset at the thought of a cap on getting hammered.

Mika had a decent tolerance (technically the lowest in the room though, fuckin demons ) and had the most clothing on in the group, wearing a baggy hoodie over a shirt and skirt, and rocking a pair of taco socks. Mika’d be fine in comparison to the rest of the group. She was basically the most dressed. Besides this wasn't a question she wouldn't answer...

Agreeing to the spicy terms Matthew spun the bottle and it landed on-

“Sam! Truth or-”

“Truth pipsqueak,”

Matthew looked at Sam and gave an impish grin, “Ugg I was hoping for dare but...Share with everyone the DELIGHTFUL nickname You used to get called, ya know back in the plains”

Sam glared and immediately reached for the shot only to have it snached by Mika. “No no no, Sammy share this because i've gotta know”

He looks delightfully pissed, both at the situation and at being called Sammy,

James surprisingly egged it on  “Sam it wasn't that bad” followed by Eriks sinister chuckle.

He growled and rolled his eyes “Its, ugg fine i used to get called fuckin handlebars alright, it’s not-- what are You laughing at doofus”

Mika wheezed into her hands as he gave a grumpy look, body rolling back, Mika curled on the floor and Damien patted her on the back muttering, “breathe” through his own sniggers.

Coming back to her senses, Mika sat up, looked Sam up and down before muttering “handlebars huh?” Mika knew it was from his demon form, but man she never made that correlation. It did make sense though....

Mika offered an innocent smile ”You didn't have to tell us Sam, You could have stripped a little.” Mika winked, getting a frustrated huff as he spun the bottle.

~~~~~~~~~

The game went on for a while before the questions changed pace, started by Sam (obviously) who didn't like how sober and clothed Mika was, oh and his brothers...they qualify for the sober part.

As his spin landed on Mika as he chuckled darkly. “Finally, truth or dare doofus”

Every bone in Mika's body told her to pick truth so the word truth left her mouth. Sam grinned. That grin makes mika shudder internally.maybe she shouldn't have…

“Hoped you would. What’s your wildest fantasy?”

Mika’s cheeks heated up and Mika gulped, forcing her mind to stay as blank as possible, there was no way she was saying that, not to the people involved. No way. No way. No---

James grinned as he drank some tea and Erik grinned at Mika. Matthew looked shocked at his brother as Daimen looked at Mika in curiosity...mainly. Every Person in that room had varying degrees of lust in their eyes, well not People per say...they were truly acting like lustful little demons.

Sighing she reached for her hoodie, pulling it of and placing it on the couch, “umm yeah...No thanks”

Erik smirked, “wow princess, we’re wounded. You don't trust us?” Mika stuck her tongue out at him and spun the bottle having it land on-.

“Truth or dare Damien?” she spoke head tilted to the side and he tilted his to match,

“I'll say umm, truth too.”

“Fuckin lame asses” Sam felt he needed to comment.

“Sam we all know we’ll only pick truth for most of the game anyway we want dirt on each other, But Damien, Who’s the most frequent person you’ve ever fantasized about?” Mika asked gently as his eyes wided and he went a glorious shade of red.  

“I...fuck it was...nope im not doing it” he pulled of his shirt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And with that more rounds went by with questions like that were definitely not okay to ask as Roommates, however they were asked and ended up leaving all of them in various states. Mika with 2 shots, two missing socks and a missing shirt added on to her hissing hoodie. Earning the comment “nice bra princess” from good ol’ erik.

Not like he could say much, with questions that he wouldn't answer, meant he was 2 shots down and only in pj pants, his socks and shirt discarded. James followed a similar path being left in his black sweats and one sock, with 2 shots, he didn't take too kindly to masturbation questions, that's all she would say. Matthew had taken off his undershirt but left on his shorts and jacket, he however was 1 shot down. Damien in a similar strife to Matthew has only one shot down, he's only missing his shirt socks. Then there were handlebars,  Sam, he was left in his sweats and was two shots down, in hindsight, Mikas questions really were not the fairest of questions...were they?

It all led up to this glorious question from James after Mika picked Truth, “miss since you've had so much fun asking inappropriate questions , I’ll ask you one...”.

What? The’d already been asking some inappropriate questions to her, She--

“Miss” James smiled, to call it an evil one would be an understatement. “When was the last time you masturbated?”

Matthew snorted at her embarrassed face as Sam coughed...Mika was screwed, she’d already had all of her two shots, it was answer or be in her underwear, There was no way she was answering that.

Mika jolted up off damiens lap, having him on her right hand side now as she covered her mouth in surprise.

Truth is, it had been a while. Mika tended to do it when all the boys were out of the house and due to the virus...it's been months. She was a little frustrated but mainly held it together she could just use the boys but she liked getting herself off. Not to mention he had not hooked up with any of the boys in a while. They mainly just used makeouts. Mika longed for something to be inside of her.

That question however...it threw Mika off her game.

Daimen laughed from beside Mika ”It's really been that long, has it?”  Fuck, Damien idly smiles at her panic as Erik looked Mika up and down his gaze was hungry...All their gazes were hungry?

“How long has it been princess…”.

Mika signed a little embarrassed at the question before standing up and grabbing the waistband of her skirt untying the bow with the intention of pulling it down but-

“NO NO NO- “ Sam interrupted sating at Mika, “you wouldn't let me drink earlier so this is payback, tell us doofus,”

Mika scared incredulously at him before he smiled idly at her, just waiting… she sat back on the floor in an embarrassed heap, making sure she was looking at anywhere but the boys as she mumbled her confession, “A couple months ago,”.

“Pardon me miss but i don't think I heard that-”

“A couple of months ago,” Mika confessed face burning, looking up to see lustfully surprised gazes.

“And why would that be miss?”

Mika found Herself standing up with the intention of racing out the room. But she was quickly grabbed and lightly pulled into Eriks lap, his head on her shoulder and his one arm around Mika and his hand on the other side of her head forcing her to look at james.

He spoke into her ear, “and why's that princess?”

Mika squirmed in his lap, the feeling of him in her ear made her core go mental. It rumbled from deep within Mika.  not to mention they way he had her sat her legs were a little open one lowered glance and---

Damien found himself answering for Her. “She doesn't want us to hear her, so she does it when we're not home, or sometimes when we're asleep.” Mika blushed and pulled at eriks arm. He just grinned against Mika's ear.

Matthew smiled, “what were ya thinking about huh?...Tell us the fantasy you think about...” He teased all the boys and sat a lot closer to Mika than before.

Eriks hold relaxed but Mika found herself staying in his lap. His touch did not help the burning in her core but it was nice. Mika shook her head as Sam's eyes flashed a bit gold,

“Not gonna tell us are you doofus?” His voice came from beside Erik, his hand was making his way up her leg and teasing the waistband of her skirt before dipping underneath it.

“What's your biggest fantasy Princess?”

Mika moaned out as Erik breathed on the shell of her ear, James and Matthew sat in front of Mika as Damien sat to eriks side.  The rim of each pair of  eyes tinted gold, they aren't even trying to hide the arousal in their eyes or voices.

They watched her red face as James spoke, “you've been a little bit of a mess huh miss? Well, we’ve wanted this for months. Do you want us? Heh, want us to fix the frustration you've been trying to hide from us?”

“This is fine, this is fine,”  is what Mika kept telling herself over and over. Face bright red as Mika sits between these Demons. All eyes in the room were staring at Mika, basically undressing what was left of Mika. They could smell Mikas' arousal. It poured off her body

All movement around Mika stopped as they awaited Mikas answer, Mika nodded weakly, captivated by the promises within James' words.

“Yes” Mika nodded as James pulled Mika upward, Sam moved the boxes off the couch as Mika was pushed into Damiens lap on the wide armchair.

His lips kissed over the one side of her neck as Matthew kissed the other, Sam sitting in front of Mika opening her legs as his hands traced the outside of her underwear.

Erik knelt in front of her and spoke slowly lust in his voice, “well im disappointed, we're glad to help you, you could've said something sooner.” he smirked and held her knees and his hands began to trail fingertips up her thighs.

Mikas breath hitched as Sam's fingers pushed into her underwear, putting pressure on Mikas clit as he moved in slow circles varying pressure.

“Eriks right you know” James' voice appeared from behind her, he seemed to be leaning over the back of the chair, his head by Mika's ear.

“you know we would help...we’ve helped before...individually anyways”

Mika moaned out  at the implication of his words. It was true all of them had hooked up before. They had all bedded her separately even in the odd threesome but never together not all at once. Could she take it?

She snapped out of her mental spiel as lips connected with the skin on her breast, a little moan escaped her as she whined. And james continued talking,

“You know miss, as much as we admire your work ethic...it left us starving… and that's not too good is it?”

Mikas back arched into the chair, as sam sucked hickeys on her inner thighs, his and erik's hand the only reason her legs weren't wrapped around someones head. She could feel her core pulsing in desperation, she wanted more… needed more. Mika whined at the teasing touches, lips ghosting over her skin.

Mika moaned into James' lips as they connected, back arched in an attempt to keep the connection. James teased her bottom lip with his tongue before they deepened the kiss. Mika barely realised the hickeys being sucked on her skin or the pesky finger opening up her bra. Feeling the warm air hit her nipples, Mika moaned at the feeling of somebody's breath on them, their teeth grazing it lightly and suking it as it got hard in his mouth.

Mika cried out in desperation as all touches left her body, her lips parted and eyes heavy with lust, the boys hungry gazes could be felt all over her. She barely realised they were all smirking at her needy state. Her chest heaving, she looked around at the boys before mumbling a small “please” and movement picked up again.

“Your room Mika? Damiens voice was lewd; a husky snarl as he began to stand up.

“Wait...Wait...mnh...” Mika tried to protest but she was already getting picked up by Sam. Breasts pushed against his bare chest as he walked with her in his arms. Heavy breathing and full looks were shared between you as Sam used his super speed to speed away from the rest of his brothers.

His lips briefly connected with mika before he threw her on her bed, watching her bounce before crawling on top of her, his arms cageing mika beneath him. Their initial kiss was rough, his chapped lips moving quickly against her soft ones. Pulling away his voice a lust ridden growl.

“If we weren't starving to taste you again” he moaned, “we’d tease the hell outta you~”

His knee coming between mikas clothed core and moving against it, the small amount of friction heightened mikas arousal. She found herself grinding down against his knee, hips rolling involuntarily back and forth, back and forth. Milking the friction she was getting. Before he pushed his knee into mika and smirking as the moan she let out.

Pulling her in his lap he leant against the headboard as his brothers strolled in, mika turned to look at them only to have her head snapped back by sam and she was kissed again, she showed no resistance to this whatsoever, in fact she was the first one to close her eyes and part open her lips. he pecked her once, making sure she wouldn't back off, then went in for a deep kiss. he found her tongue and it willingly danced with his.

She broke off the kiss to breathe, only to moan when a pair of hands pinched her nipple from behind her and her back arched into them. Head on his shoulder she saw Matthew's evil little smile as she was led down the middle of her bed on her back.  

All the boys stared down at her, her hair splayed around her like a halo and her red tinted face.

"You look adorable mika" Damien said and kissed her again on her neck, lingering this time... kissing, licking, drooling and suckling on the same spot. Mika immediately reacted to the hot and wet sensation on her neck, arching her body for a second as her clit throbbed and her breathing shook.

"Please don't stop..." she gushed while she kept shaking and moaned.

The moan of pleasure from mika made damien groan into her neck, in turn making mika moan, blind to whatever was happening anywhere else in the room mika laid in bliss.

She couldn't help it now, moans coming out involuntarily, he heated haze becoming painful to lingerie. She felt like an over cooked meal.

His lingering, messy kisses on her neck, cheek and ear continued but he also dragged his hand down her soft body to her inner thighs and fully flipped up her skirt exposing her wet underwear. She jolted when his gentle fingers rubbed her hard little clit through the thin cloth of her briefs, she squeaked and moaned but didn't resist.

Nor did she resist when she felt her legs get lifted up and her skirt come off and get thrown, feeling the cooler air brush against her underwear.

Feeling eyes on her body as she arched her back, Pretty soon her briefs were soaked in arousal, she blushed intensely knowing that someone's fingertips were covered with the fluid seeping through her panties but she still wished this could go on forever.

But of course it couldn't, just a couple of seconds later she felt tingles on every nerve ending as her entire body tensed up. Hips involuntarily rolling into the movement of somebody's fingers, Her pulsing core cumming and cum easily went through her already saturated panties, she went limp and breathed out the longest sigh. She still wanted more.

As the high-pitched breathing from Mika winded down, Sam lifted his fingers, they dripped with her cum once or twice.  He smirked as he smelled them, then licked them making eye contact with mika as he did. Infatuated with her taste he then greedily sucked anything left on his fingers.

“Sam” she breathed.

"Was that good?" Matthew asked, a voice coming from her side barely recognizable due to the lust shrouding it..

"Yesss..."

“Good because we're not done yet….” and with his words Erik pulled off mika panties and threw them across the room, giving a smile at the sugar she made when the air touched her sensitive core.

Mika felt her legs go over his and Sam's shoulders, heaving her exposed to the pair as James lips wrapped themselves around her nipples, Matthew looked up at her as if looking for approval again before he began his assault on her breasts, James didn't care for such mannerisms in bed. she nodded to Matthew,  Then he looked for the pink, perfectly round nipple and licked the tip, making it harden in his mouth, and pressed his lips around it. He suckled, licked and drooled all over the aureole, making even Mika moan as she stroked his hair.

Matthew was in heaven always loving his mouth on mika's tits, and she was enjoying it as much as he was. He traced his finger up and down her stomach, aiming to keep her moaning as much as he could. To return the favors to the pair, she stroked the head of his penis very gingerly with the tips of her fingers, sliding his foreskin back just before its limit and then pulling it over the glans again.

Mikas' breath escaped her as she felt a mouth on her folds. Not knowing who it was due her head being cradled in damiens lap, tilting her head as much as she could while being led down, she was the other red head between her thighs.

Erik started out slow, with his tongue coated in saliva, licking from the bottom of Mika’s pussy to her clit. As soon as he reached the top, Mika moaned out at the slight change in pressure, Erik ignored the whines and beggs and kept licking her pussy with long strokes of his wet tongue, focusing on her clit sneaking a finger in or two just to stretch her out a little bit.

When Erik was satisfied with how much wetter Mika had become, he started licking in between mikas pussy lips and all the folds of her hooded clit. Erik was in love with the taste of Mika's pussy and couldn't help but keep licking everywhere he could taste the sweet flavor. He soon found that the flavor was best inside of her pussy, Not like he didn't know that already, he just loved to tease her.

With more vigor, Erik started digging his tongue deep in her pussy searching for more of those soft ridges that produced wonderful moans. He could vaguely hear mikas horny rambles and begging, from what he could hear she was getting close.

He started flicking his tongue and quickly eating out Mika. he saw Mika grip the sheets hard. His face was filled with more of her pussy as she bucked her hips into his face, using him for her own orgasm, Not like he minded, and suddenly Eriks mouth was flooded with mikas juices.

“Ah~ UZAERIS”

Mika found blanked for a few seconds and found herself in James' lap, back to his chest and legs spread out for everyone to see, Erik appeared at her side as their lips connected, she could taste herself on his tongue, and his lips. Her own juices painted his mouth as she kissed him.

The kiss was broken by a moan, the blunt tip on Matthew's cock running up and down mikas pussy, dipping into her dripping hole only to pull back out and smirk. Mika moved to roll her hips only to have Damien hands drab them and hold them down.

“Mika~” matthews voice teased, “what do you want mika~”

Mika groaned her body aching for more and the enthrallment of five incubi definitely wasn't helping.

“Say it mika” Not damien too~

She shuddered as he teased once again mikas words spilled out with no filter, “pleasejustfuckmeyouknowiwantitplease!!”

And Matthew's hips crashed into mikas and her eyes rolled back as they did so, her body moaned uncontrollably as she was pounded by him. Back shifting all over James' chest, her moans were unavailable as his hands traced her nipples, one hand coming to pinch it as Erik sucked a hickey on her breast.

Mika couldn't concentrate on anything, her body enjoying the attention everywhere, her breasts, her neck, her clit. she didn't even realise when she clenched around Matthew's cock.

“Zecaeru~..zecaeru….ugghuuuu… ZECAERU~” mikas body tried to pull his cock deeper as she came around it, the pulsing feeling as if it was dragging him into her body further. Matthew on the other hand kept at his pace fucking her though her orgasm and the few after shocks

She felt herself melt into James' chest as she came down from her high, but alas, Sam's hands pulled her off of his brother's chest and she landed face down ass up in front of sams cock.

James groaned at the sight of mika, all her holes just there offered to them, James' hands pulled her waist up to his cock as he shuffled closer and entered her. Mika, becoming more and more sensitive, reached back to grab his hands to slow his pace, but ultimately having her mouth stolen by Damien who made her face him instead.

He tapped his cock against her lips as she opened them, relaxing her mouth around it. She felt a soft tingle at the back of her throat, and it soon became numb to damiens cock.  Mikas eyes were rolled back as Damien fucked her mouth and james her pussy.

She had no clue whose fingers were on her clit but, the fast movement they were making had mika moaning around damien and it wasn't too long before mika felt herself cum around james cock damien pulling out just in time for her to moan out,

“RAESTRAO”

Mika collapsed on the bed, heavily breathing and did not fully register her body in damiens lap and his cock at her entrance. Her legs open over his thighs, his cock teasing her entrance he pushed his hips up and watched her eyes roll back. Mouth agape.

Their lips briefly met, her soft ones touching him in a hazy rush before a loud moan was forced out of her by her ribs being roughly grabbed from behind. His body jolted up and down his cock as he fucked her. Hand sat loosely in her hair, just to keep her steady. As he guided her up and down his throbbing cock her pulsing pussy made it pleasurable for the pair of them.

Mika soon began to tremble and moan, fingers digging into the nape of damiens neck as she rutted against him desperate for her next orgasm. Sam's fingers on her clit as she rolled her hips up and down. All suddenly coming to a stop as she came over damiens cock.

“Ahhh ahah, Izroul~” she moaned contentedly.  

Her body pulsing, she craved more. In the back of her mind she was becoming exhausted but her pussy was aching.

For seconds Her mind went completely blank when Sam finally put his cock inside of her. The thick, smooth tip slowly but firmly entering her, brought waves of sensation to her core. As she arched her back against his chest.

As he pushed it in more, she could feel how his cock was stretching mika out bit by bit even with how wet she was. When his tip inevitably hit all mikas hidden spots that she forgot even existed, her moans became louder.

"Oh yes..." his slow movements allowed mika to let out a coherent moan.

Not long after that, her whole body jolted up with Sam's rough thrusts, just moving quicker and quicker until mikas berthing was erratic and her words a jumble.  What she thinks is james’ fingers rub her clit as she comes all over Sam's cock body twitching, shaking helplessly.

“Uhhhhh Aomaris!~”

Mika acknowledged the fact she was shifted of fo sams cock, Moaning at the new cock at her entrance she saw erik smile up at her,

“Last time now princess, i think i'll be cumming right it HERE”

As he said here he thrusted up into mika, hand on her hips as he rolled his into hers. Head tilted back as she moaned out, hands coming to tease her breasts, a hand on her clit and what she knew to be sams cock in her mouth.

The hands pinching and circling her nipples, one hand would grope her breast and the other would pinch her nipple.

The fingers on her clit moved in quick circles, fingers that specifically touched her clit applying more pressure than the others as it moved.

It took all of sams control to not fuck mikas face, her tounge running under the ridge of his head and teeth kightly dragging on the sensitive nerve here and there.

Room filled with moans and groans from each person until mika clenched around eriks cock causing him to also freeze mid thrust,

“Ghghghgh,~” mika moaned out head pulled off of sams cock and tilted back.

Erik buried his cock deep into mika as he came inside of her, Sam cumming all on her face, and neck and James Damien and Matthew all over her bare chest.

Mikas' chest heaved as she was pulled off of eriks cock and laid on her bed.

Mika smiled in bliss as the boys looked down on her, all of them struggling to catch their breath mika included.

Sam brushed her hair out of her face as Mika tongue out.

“Ugg how are you even awake” he smiled at her cum covered face,

Mika shrugged as she reached up and scooped some of his cum on her finger, watching it drip before she smiled at it and put it into her mouth. Sam's breath hitch as mika sucked on her fingers innocently, causing the others to watch incuriously.

Mika feeling all her eyes, and in her semi drowsy state decided to tease a little bit, dragging her finger up the valley between her breasts and sucking the cum off of them.

A groan escaped them as mika moaned at the taste,

“Don't play these games mika” surprised at the use of her name she smirked innocently.

“And why not Raestrao?”

Mika binked as she felt james fingers inside of her curling up to her g-spot as his thumb worked on her clit,

“We will drain you mika~ have you begging for Mercy”

Mika cried out as her sensitivity increased with a brief round of enthrallment as she came all over James' fingers, now hers and Erik cum leaking out of her. Her body shaking relentlessly she cried out before she passed out in a sweaty come covered heap.

~~~~~

She awoke to soft sheets, and the light trickled in through the open balcony doors. Shedding herself of the remaining glimpses of sleep, her eyes were still shut as she soaked in the warmth of the covers before letting her green eyes see the sun's rays.

She basked in them for a while, the warmth soothing her aching body, pushing the cover off she saw her bare thighs and stomach, littered with marks a reminder of what she could assume was the evening before. Her skin felt as if it were glowing and she was truly surprised at the very little aches and pains.

her muscles felt weak, unlike her energy. She let out an exasperated sigh, groaning as she laid back in the soft puffy blanket, What time was it? How long had she been asleep? Did she have clothes on?  Well she knew the answer to the last question.

Her bedroom door clicked open as she looked to the culprit or should she say culprits,

“Morning~” still as bubbly as he usually was, Matthew bounced into the room and sat beside her.  Soon everyone else walked in too, James carrying a plate of breakfast and damining a glass of water.

“We thought you might need it miss” he smiled, his appearance looked soft due to him in his sweats.

All the boys were in pjs and mika sat naked, well minus her blanket. Mika smiled as she bit a piece of toast, her blanket cover shifting slightly as all the boys sat on her bed with her, all just basking in each other's company.

Running his finger though Mika's hair from behind her, Sam smiled before asking, “hey doofus?”

“Mmmhmmm” mika mouth full of food,

“You never did tell us your biggest fantasy”

Mika looked back to see sams glowing golden eyes, quickly turning from him she looked around only to find everyone else's eyes the same color…

“Ah fuck me…”

.

.

.

“Again princess?”

“As you wish~”

“Really doofus?”

“We dont mind~”

“haha, really that's it~”

Mika paled “Damien i swear~”

______________________________

HONONRARY TITLE "Mikas quarantine orgy".

[deathonyourtongue]

Welcome Home

Summary: Everything would be perfect, if he could just get home. Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader Word Count: 2K Warnings: Miscarriage, HEAVY angst. Please don’t read if these things trigger you in any way. A/N: This is what happens when personal boy issues, wine, and crying Henry gifs collide. I apologize in advance. The song for this one is Lovely - Billie Eilish, Khalid

“And then literally Desmond says, ‘just give him the bloody axe, he’ll do it himself!’”

You laugh at the culmination of Henry’s story, an anecdote involving a very large tree, a very nervous crew member, and a director who put more stock in his lead actor than any of the men hired to actually remove the tree from the shooting location. 

“How’s our little one?” Henry asks after a moment, his voice tender and sweet, already a doting father even though you’re only six months along. 

“She’s having a little dance party, but I think that’s due to the chocolate chip cookie I ate an hour ago,” you laugh, rubbing the belly that sprang up overnight; It seemed like only last week you still had a flat tummy.

“Well, you tell her daddy can’t wait to come home and give her and mummy so many kisses she’ll lose count.” You can hear the smile in his voice and it warms your heart, cementing Henry as the man you want to grow old with and have many more babies with. 

“Mummy misses daddy a lot. When are you coming home, babe?” You ask softly, knowing production had been plagued with delays ranging from weather to a stomach bug that had laid out half the crew and nearly all of the cast. Henry sighs thoughtfully, the sound making it clear that he too is frustrated by the schedule. 

“If all goes according to plan from here on out, I should be home next month.” It’s not ideal, especially as your pregnancy draws to a close, but it’s better than nothing. 

“I’ll be at Heathrow with bells on, and maybe your mother in tow,” you chuckle, trying to bring levity to a situation you knew was hard on both of you. An affectionate person by nature, you know it’s hard for Henry to be away from those he loves. You miss him more than words can describe and you know that him coming home will be the balm for all the aches, nausea, and trouble sleeping you’ve had since first getting the news. 

“I can’t wait to see you, love. Miss you so much. Sleep now, and I’ll text you in the morning. Love you to the moon and back, darling.” Henry’s words bring tears to your eyes, as they always do when you’re apart for an extended duration, but you manage to keep your voice even as you respond in kind, saying your own ‘I love you’s in the nick of time, hearing Henry’s name being called by production just as you finish. 

It’ll be a long month, but you know that soon enough, the man who keeps your heart will be back and you’ll be nestled in his arms, where you belong. 

            ______________________________________

You wake from a decent sleep when, after rolling over, you feel wetness coat your outer thigh. Thinking you must have been dreaming of the ocean a little too much, you feel around for the bedside light switch and turn it on, rubbing your eyes to ease the switch from the darkness. You’re really not in the mood to deal with having to change the sheets, but what meets your eyes is beyond changing. Bright crimson instantly sets off alarms, and you look down to find that the source is exactly what you were hoping it wouldn’t be. 

There’s little time to react as a bolt of pain ricochets through your entire torso, emanating from your womb and immediately making you want to vomit. You manage to reach for the phone and call for an ambulance, but make it clear they may have to break down the door to get to you. For once, you’re grateful that Henry takes Kal with him whenever he goes to shoot, as the dog would hinder more than help as you pull together all your strength to try and stand. 

The room spins violently and you manage to grab onto the doorframe before your knees turn to jello. Taking several deep breaths, you wait for the wave of nausea to pass before dragging yourself to the staircase. Crumpling at the top of the stairs, you breathe slowly before moving down like a child pretending to be on a slide. You’re out of breath from pain by the time you get to the bottom and it takes the last of your energy to reach up and unlock the front door. Cell phone gripped tightly in hand, you do your best to stay awake, hearing the sirens in the distance. 

Though you have no memory of arriving at the hospital, one directive repeats in your head like a marching order, and you make sure to tell every doctor or nurse that comes into your triage room that under no circumstances do you want anyone to be contacted, especially the father of your baby or his family. The staff at the Royal find the request odd, but because you’re awake and alert, they have no choice but to heed your wishes. With your own family an ocean away, your request leaves you no choice but to go through the ordeal alone. All the better, you think, guilt already forming as the doctor breaks the bad news.

Your world is overturned in a matter of hours. They put you on Oxytocin, and pain the likes of which you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy is your sole companion for the next several hours as you’re induced for a birth you’ll never be able to celebrate. When all is said and done, the nurses ask if you want to hold your baby, and against your better judgment, you say yes.

Seeing her perfect, peaceful face breaks you. 

          ______________________________________

A month and a half to the date of the phone call, Henry arrives at Heathrow to find, much to his confusion, only his mother waiting for him. He greets her warmly, but his eyes scan the arrival area, hoping that you’d maybe just run off to use the restroom. When he finds no indication of your presence, his attention turns back to his mother. 

“Where is she, mum?” He asks, unable to piece together why you aren’t there, in his arms, where you promised you would be. Henry’s mother looks anywhere but at her son, unable to find a way to explain that everything he knew and was expecting had irrevocably changed. 

“She couldn’t make it on account of the...I’ll take you to her, son.” 

Henry tries not to let his imagination run wild as his mother drives north, past the home he shares with you. When the car crosses into Mayfair, Henry begins to panic. “Mum…” His tone is low, distrusting, frightened. His mother’s hand is clammy as it finds his, squeezing in a way that’s meant to be supportive, but only fuels his anxiety. 

He begins to visibly tremble when the engine cuts off in front of Nightingale Hospital. “Please tell me what’s going on. Why are we here? What happened? Mum, please.” His whispered appeal breaks his mother’s heart and she cups his face, willing herself not to shed tears yet again, for her son’s sake. 

“I’m sorry, Henry, love. I’m so sorry, my darling.” The explanation sticks in her throat, allowing only platitudes to escape and leaving Henry with no choice but to fly from the car and into the private hospital. 

The receptionist looks shocked when she recognizes him and forgets her job for a moment when he asks for your room number. “The last name is Cavill. Please, hurry. I need to see her.” When it’s explained that patients aren’t generally allowed visitors, Henry nearly begins foaming at the mouth, feeling as though he’s losing his own mind. He asks to speak to the doctor in charge, and before long is ushered into an office and poured a cup of tea, the banal formality only serving to anger him more. 

“Why is my wife in this godforsaken place?” He barks at the doctor the moment the door is closed, wanting answers and wanting them immediately. The doctor takes a seat, his expression sympathetic. 

“Mr. Cavill, I apologize that we weren’t able to reach you, but your wife, before taking a turn for the worse, made it explicitly clear that we were not to contact you. At this time, given that she can no longer make those sorts of decisions, her instructions fall back to you as her power of attorney.” The doctor takes a deep breath, knowing that what he’s about to say will break the man in front of him. 

“Your wife had a late-term miscarriage about a month and a half ago. It was exceedingly traumatic for her, especially as the common procedure for dealing with these sorts of things is to induce and force labor. Your wife went through all of that trauma alone, by her own choice, as she was repeatedly asked if you were to be contacted. It took several hours for her to deliver your child, and holding the baby afterward put her in a severe downward spiral in terms of her mental health. She’s been residing with us since her delivery and I’m sorry to say, but as of late, she’s been in a catatonic state, giving us minimal responses. At this stage, we’re simply providing palliative care to your wife. Unfortunately, many in her condition never recover, so we do our best to keep her comfortable, healthy, and calm.” 

Henry keeps his mouth pressed firmly closed in order not to scream. Blowing air through his nose, he forces himself to bite his tongue until it bleeds, chest heaving as he fights for control. If he can’t keep it together, he can’t see you and that’s all that matters to him at this point. 

“May I see my wife? I’ve been overseas for the last six months, shooting a film. I w-was expecting her at the airport.” His voice sounds wrong to him, pinched and tinny. He knows he has tears in his eyes as the doctor is blurry, but he refuses to let them fall, his need to be strong for you taking over any allowance for grieving. 

“I’ve been told she’s not having a good day today, so if she refuses to look at you, to let you touch her, to make any form of response, please do not think it your doing. It’s the nature of her condition,” the doctor warns as he approaches your room. 

It’s all Henry can do not to break down right there and then, the heels of his palms pressing hard into his eyes, teeth clenched as he tries to remember how to breathe. The woman in the bed, staring passively through him isn’t the woman he loves, the one he would die for. That woman is gone, replaced with a cheap, emotionless facsimile that breaks him even more. Resting his hands on his knees, he tries to catch his breath, wishing he’d come home sooner.

            ______________________________________

By the time he’s back in his mother’s car, Henry’s numb to everything but the pain searing through his chest, “Take me home, mum. Please,” he murmurs, Henry’s head lolling onto the window for the duration of the drive back to your former home. He refuses to allow his mother in the house, pleading with her to go home and wait for his call.  She takes Kal with her, knowing her son well enough to understand that he needs to grieve in his own way. 

Henry’s not ready for the blood, having assumed that someone would have cleaned it up by now, but the Hansel and Gretel trail is hard to miss and with leaden steps, he moves upstairs.

Left in the exact condition it was last used in, the room you two shared leaves no question of what happened and what you went through, alone. His knees give out as he takes in the sheer quantity of blood on the bed, Henry guilt-ridden that he wasn’t there for you when you needed him most. 

Finally freed of any need to save face or be strong for others, Henry screams from the depths of his shattered soul, the sound unbroken until anguish consumes his voice and tears flood his face. Finding his feet, Henry staggers to the bed and curls up around the remnants of his previous life, wailing over the permanent reminder of what almost was.

[beanie-beebo-writes]

Call for Action

Chapter 6

You rolled over at around 2 AM for what seemed like the millionth time. Despite having no nightmares, you were plagued with hourly panic attacks that tore you from sleep. You didn’t even know what could have caused them; you had been doing so well since your last incident weeks ago. You felt so hopeless, and wondered if it was even worth the effort to sleep. Yet every time you tried to stay awake, your eyes drifted on their own accord. Without thinking too much of the consequences, you reached over and grabbed your phone and called Jensen. You were met with a series of grumbled responses. Before you knew it, he was at your door.

“Jensen, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking and didn’t know what else to do.” You said, half crying at your possible mistake.

“(Y/N), never be sorry for needing someone. C’mon, let’s lay down.” He said, putting an arm around you.

“Could we go on the couch for a bit instead? I kind of need to get away from my bed.” You asked.

“Sure.” Jensen said.

And there the two of you sat for several hours, until the sun broke across the horizon and the birds began to sing. You had both ended up falling asleep in what had looked like not the most comfortable positions, but it couldn’t compare to the restful sleep you had gotten. Your alarm in your bedroom woke you up around 5 AM, causing you to half stumble off the couch as you were intertwined between Jensen’s limbs. The small struggle caused Jensen to come around, waking up a little more when he saw you return from your room. You rubbed at your eyes and let out a large yawn.

“I know you’re gonna protest, but I think you should take the day off. You look like you could use it.” Jensen said, still on the couch.

“I don’t think I can afford that, Jensen. I just started working here.” You said.

“Well, maybe I could pull some strings for you. I could talk to Bob for you. I think he’d understand if I explained it to him briefly.” Jensen said.

“That’s the last thing I need is him knowing what I’m going through. He’ll probably let me go when he finds out.” You said, crossing your arms.

“Alright, I can spare the details. You just need a break, that’s all.” Jensen said. 

After some thinking, you realized he was right. The past few weeks had been rough on you. You were basically running nonstop, and it had finally caught up to you. And boy did you feel it.

“You don’t have to call Bob, I’ll do it myself.” You said. “You’re right, I’ve been running myself ragged. I just know as an adult, I have a responsibility to myself and my coworkers. I can’t afford to take time off etcetera etcetera.”

“That may be true but as Jared has told me, you can’t put an oxygen mask on everyone else if you don’t put one on yourself first.” Jensen said.

You sighed. “Damn, you guys are like Buddha.”

“It comes with experience, trust me.” He said.

After you called off for the day, you and Jensen spent the day watching whatever was on daytime TV, Netflix, and napping in between. If you could do this every once in a while, you wouldn’t complain. The refresher was nice and you even got some bonus time with Jensen. The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces; always comfortable around each others’ presence. It was something you hadn’t felt in a while with someone.

Around noon, Jared stopped by with some fresh lunch. You had been snoozing at the time so Jensen took it upon himself to answer the door for you. The two of them had been talking for a little bit before you finally woke up to the steaming aroma and the sound of talking.

“Remember when this was happening with you a long while back? It’s all I can think of.” You heard Jensen say.

“Yeah. She’ll pull through though, just like I did. I haven’t known her for that long, and I can already tell she’s one to reckon with.” Jared said.

You groggily opened your eyes and looked over to Jensen and Jared standing in your kitchen. The TV had still been playing quietly in the background, playing some infomercial on jewelry. You inhaled deeply and sat up, letting out a loud and satisfying stretch. Doing so caused the guys to look over. You clicked off the TV and stood up slowly, your joints cracking as you stiffened them.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jared asked, still holding a large paper bag.

“Honestly? Like I could still use another nap.” You said humorlessly, still chuckling lightly.

“I bet. I brought you guys some food; figured you could use a nice hot meal.” Jared said while holding up the bag slightly.

“Thank you, maybe you could join us?” You asked, walking over to where he stood.

“Well, I didn’t bring enough for three.. But that’s okay, I just had lunch not long ago. Sure, why not?” He said.

He held the bag out for you to take, and you gladly accepted it. You set it on the counter and looked inside. Inside were two fancy grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, the ones held together with a toothpick and an olive. You smiled up at Jared, grateful to have found another good friend to confide in. Or at least, you hoped.

“Well Jensen, I say we dig in before it gets cold.” You said.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Jensen said.

The three of you sat at your small kitchenette (Jared had to pull up an extra folding chair from whoever knows where you had it stashed), just happy to be in each other’s presence. You giggled as you observed Jared’s large stature cramped to the confines of the small-ish chair.

“Oh like you’ve never seen a giant man sit in a chair half his size before.” Jared snarked playfully.

“Actually no, I haven’t.” You said in between chuckles.

Jared smiled at you alongside Jensen. “It’s good to see you smile.” Jared said.

“I tend to agree.” Jensen said.

“Hard not to.” You said, mouth half-full of sandwich. “I don’t mean to intrude in any way, so let me know if I am. But earlier, I heard you guys talking about Jared going through something a while ago. So you’re telling me you both of you have gone through something similar?” 

“Yeah actually-” Jared said, sitting back into his chair. “-And you’re not overstepping at all, don’t worry. We wouldn’t have talked about it with you around if we thought it was something you didn’t need to know.”

“What he said.” Jensen said. “And yeah, Jared went through a bout of depression about five years ago. It happened when we were on set, actually. He has no shame on sharing it with others, but isn’t really ready to let everyone know about it just yet.”

“What got you through it?” You asked, intrigued.

“I know Jensen was talking about therapy before, and how it helped him. I know it’s going to sound like a broken record, but that majorly helped me get through it. That and a great support system.” Jared said.

“You two really are joined at the everything, jeez.” You said. “Jensen and I were actually just talking about therapy last week. I agreed to try it, but I’m just a little scared how it’s going to turn out.”

“It can be scary, especially since it’s new territory for you.” Jared said.

“So, what do you say it’s about time we schedule you for that therapist?” Jensen asked.

---------

One Month Later

You walked down a small hallway until you reached an ajar door that had the name "Mr. Roslin" on it, and knocked lightly. A man in his late forties was sitting at a small desk in a computer chair; he turned around and smiled.

"You must be (Y/N). Please, come in and take a seat." He said.

You walked into the decently sized room and sat on a padded chair several feet from the therapist. Mr. Roslin shuffled a few papers on his desk before turning back around with a notepad and pen in hand.

"So (Y/N), tell me more about why you're here today." He said.

"Well… My friend.. er date.. said I would benefit from seeing you." You said.

"And why would they think that?" He asked.

You sighed. "Well, lately I've been having these.. panic attacks. Quite a lot of them actually."

"Have you had them before?"

"Many times, yes. Just haven't had one out of nowhere in quite a while."

"Hm. I think I have just the thing for that."

Mr. Roslin turns around in his chair and pulls out a sticky note from his desk. On it, he scribbles a few notes before handing it to you. It read: "5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste."

"Have you heard of grounding exercises before?" He asked.

You shook your head and stayed silent so he would continue.

"Grounding techniques or exercises are coping skills that keep you in the present. Let's say for instance, your thoughts or a panic attack are keeping you from doing a task at work. These exercises help you stay in the moment instead of focusing on those pesky thoughts or feelings." He explained.

"Oh wow, those sound useful.. Thank you." You said.

"Mhm. They are only useful though if you practice. That'll be your homework after this session, until I see you next. He said.

"Sounds easy enough. Thank you Mr. Roslin." You said.

"Don't mention it. By the way, have you ever been formally diagnosed previously?" Mr. Roslin asked.

"No sir, this is actually my first ever appointment to see anyone like this. I assume I have anxiety, as my doctor long ago said I may have it. He was the one who gave me the breathing tips." You admitted.

"I see. Just for your information, I'd like to know if knowing your diagnoses would help you in any way, or would you feel they would set you back?" He inquired.

"I feel the diagnoses could help explain some things, so you can tell me." You said. 

"It's only your initial appointment but from what I can tell so far based on our phone conversation and now, you have both anxiety and possibly a smidge of depression. It isn't uncommon in the psychiatric world to have both. They tend to work together to make your life more miserable. The depression tends to be more of the negative thinking (at least in your case), while the anxiety of course is the panic/anxiety attacks." He explained.

"The anxiety I figured; the depression I never thought of though. Will it ever get better?" You asked.

"With a lot of effort and time, you will find it a lot easier to cope with what you have, so yes." He said.

"That's good to know. And for the panic attacks, do you think taking up a new career can enhance them?" You asked.

"Certainly. New environments and added stress are definitely a factor. They should fade after getting adjusted. But if they don't come talk to me and we'll hash it out together." He said.

"Thank you for that, it's very helpful to be in the know." You said.

"Always; knowledge can be very powerful. Is there anything else you would like to discuss today?" He asked.

"Yeah actually, there is. With my.. date. I'm not really sure where we stand. We're moving at quite a fast pace, and I'm scared something is going to go wrong or something. My life usually works that way, and I know our relationship so far isn't exactly normal." You said.

"Well, have you talked with them about it?" He asked.

You paused for a moment; you hadn't thought to ask Jensen about anything besides that one time. It seemed to be a logical thing to do.

"It is okay to communicate these things in a relationship. If anything, the relationship will be stronger if you communicate how you feel and what you expect." Mr. Roslin said.

"You're right. I just.. I don't know. Wouldn't it be awkward to talk about those things?" You asked.

"It's only awkward if you want it to be, remember that. You could always phrase it something like.. 'I wanted to talk about our relationship. Where are you and I right now? Are we still dating, or are we looking for something more?'. Most importantly, let them know how you feel. If you're afraid, let them know." He said.

"Okay, I'll try those things." You agreed.

"Perfect! Unless you have anything else to discuss with me I'll write you in for another two weeks from now.  Does that sound good?" He asked.

"That sounds great Mr. Roslin, thanks for everything today." You said.

"No problem, take care (Y/N)." He said.

You walked out of the office and made your way to the curb where Jensen had parked his truck. You hopped inside and exhaled in relief.

"Well? How did it go?" Jensen asked.

"Actually, it wasn't that bad. He's pretty helpful; although I didn't expect homework." You said.

"Hey, taking care of yourself is hard work." He said, cupping your face in his hands. "And you've already taken the first step; you're doing great." 

You smiled and glanced at his lips before quickly giving them a peck. 

"Hey Jensen?" You asked.

"Yeah hun?" He responded.

"There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about." You said.

"Like what?" He asked, gently pulling away from you.

"Us. I wasn't sure for a bit, but I think I'm scared. Something always goes wrong in my life, and I would hate for it to be us. I'm not breaking up with you or anything, I'm just unsure. I mean, I can tell you like me, but in what way? Where are we taking this? Is  it even going to go anywhere?" You asked.

Jensen was taken aback at all this information at once; he raised his eyebrows.

"Wow, uh. I guess we do need to talk." He said. "To repeat what you said: yes, I do like you. Hell, I like you a lot. That part, is never going to change, as far as I can tell. We can go wherever you want with this. If you want it to be a fling, let it be a fling. Although, I would really prefer something more than that." Jensen explained.

"Wait.. you would?" You asked, eyes lighting up.

"Yeah! I mean, if that's okay with you of course." Jensen said.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.” You said.

You grabbed Jensen’s face gently and gave him a passionate kiss, pouring all of your emotions into him. He responded gently, meeting the same level of passion without being too rough. In that moment, everything felt good. You knew it wasn’t perfect, but you had faith in both the man in front of you and where he was guiding you.

End