#it would be so funny if I just didn't open my inbox and instead made a post about birdwatching for every ask I get this weekend lmfao

[essektheylyss]

Okay but for real, please download Merlin, the Cornell-based bird-logging app. It is so great. It will tell you about birds in your area. It will make you so insufferable on hikes and outings. It doesn't have any comments section so if this site gets nuked do NOT try to find me there but know that that's where I'm hanging. Having a great time birdwatching. Logging the bluejay that bullies my cats. Helping researchers track where birds are for climate change-related population monitoring. 10/10, highly recommend getting a life and doing some silly birdwatching.

[writingmingyu]

This with Mingyu 😩

https://pin.it/6DyqqgzTR

I'm sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a while! I've just been so busy with work that I haven't thought about writing BUT I totally see this.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It would be like you and Mingyu were in the same friendship group in high school but you would never hang out one on one. Not because you couldn't, I mean you'd known each other for YEARS. But it would just be a bit weird? You didn't really have common interests, you were both brought into the group as friends of friends and while you got along in a group setting, being alone you feel like you'd not have much to say to one another.

It wasn't until you both went to college that the group dispersed. And you found yourself in the same dorm as him. 

It was kind of funny, out of all of your friendship group that you'd both be there. Mingyu saw you struggling with some boxes when trying to move in and offered to help. You were relieved to see at least one familiar face around. Even if it was him.

Despite the fact you hadn't talked much in the past, you did find yourself talking to Mingyu more and more. At first it was just in passing in the hallway or at fresher events. And then it was him inviting you out to parties and introducing you to new people. That was something Mingyu was always good at while you had struggled so you were thankful to have him. 

A year or so later, you found yourself in the shared dorm kitchen late at night. Mingyu was there cooking some ramen and offered you some so you hung out and got to talking. 

This was a normal occurrence, at first by accident and then more and more you found yourself in the kitchen when you discovered Mingyu was the king of making instant ramen noodles. 

It was weird but something about knowing Mingyu for so long made it easy to talk to him. Maybe it was because you didn't care what he thought or you didn't think he'd remember but you had started confiding in him. 

Tonight though, something felt different. The actions were the same, Mingyu standing by the stove and you sitting on the counter, sharing how your days went. Then as you sat down to eat the topic changed and instead of you confiding in Mingyu, he had decided to open up to you. 

The realisation came slowly, as you were watching him talk, your eyes focusing in on features on his face you'd never noticed before. Your body involuntarily leaning closer to his to feel his warmth and breathe him in. It was as if time had stood still and it was just you and him, the last people on earth in this crappy kitchen eating instant noodles. 

“Sorry, I'm boring you aren't I?” Mingyu said, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

“No!” You rushed to say, “I was just thinking about how much I like this.”

“Me too,” he smiled. “You better start eating or your food will be cold!”

You pick up your chopsticks and begin eating as Mingyu continues with his story. So you might be falling in love with this idiot, or at least starting to see him as more than that guy you knew in high school. Normally that idea would freak you out, but being here with him, a sense of calmness and serenity washed over you. And you knew that if this was the rest of your life it wouldn’t be so bad.

[clairelsonao3]

Just wanted to tell you that you're an absolute doll, you've made the writeblr community an even more wonderful place since you got here, and you are loved and appreciated. This is your opportunity to (should you so desire) ramble about anything that's on your mind, WIP-related or otherwise. 💕

🥹🥹🥹 Thank you!!! Honestly, I was so shocked and happy to see this in my inbox. The only anons I've gotten previously have been chain letters and hate mail, and so my heart actually SANK when I saw this was an anon. But I don't think this is a chain letter and it's definitely not hate mail, so you absolutely made my day/week/month!

I think I started this blog in March, which makes it over six months now. And it's hard to imagine my life without it. The funny thing is (and I think I've mentioned this before), the week I joined, trying to innocently make friends by joining in some event focused on showcasing our WIPs that purported to be open to anyone, and I had the pleasure of being "greeted" by a couple of "hosts" who hadn't read my work, didn't understand the first thing about it, and took it upon themselves to try to "call me out" for something that I hadn't even done. I was so upset that I was this close to shutting down my account because I thought I wasn't welcome here and it would just get me more of the same.

But I stayed, and I'm so glad I did because I understand now that was an anomaly and simply massively bad luck to encounter that. 99% of my other interactions with people here have been positive, and the support I've found for both my work and myself has been beyond my wildest dreams.

Writing is not easy. This is hard, hard work we do. We, especially those of us who post our work publicly, are (metaphorically) slicing out large chunks of our hearts and souls and presenting them on a platter for people to evaluate and judge. Sometimes it feels like more than just our work. It feels like ourselves. And sometimes I get insecure and anxious. "Oh no, do people like such-and-such person better than me? Is their work better than mine? Is everyone going to abandon me to sit at a different lunch table and whisper and laugh and pass nasty notes about me behind my back?"

Middle school fucked me up good.🤣

I have a very strong hunch that I"m not the only one who deals with these types of feelings sometimes. Initially, I wasn't even going to talk about this, but then I was like, well, it might help someone.

Of course, it gets worse when your WIP is being difficult, too. Well, I sometimes think, this isn't working. Might as well take my toys, shut down my blog, abandon my work, and go home, simply in the interest of self-preservation. (I'm NOT doing this; I don't want anyone to worry!)

But I know that this urge is irrational, as are my fears. And that nothing I do -- especially not sitting and worrying and imagining ridiculous, catastrophic scenarios -- is going to have any effect on the situation, whatever it is. I can't make anyone like me. But what I can do is make sure that I send positivity into the world instead of negativity, and eventually, somehow, the universe will even out, maybe, kind of.

Anyway, all of this is a roundabout way of saying that I know yesterday was technically Worldbuilding Wednesday, and I wanted to send out asks, but then I realized, you know? I don't even really like worldbuilding all that much. 🤣 There are other aspects of writing that interest me much more.

And, to me, the most positive thing I can get is a personalized ask about my WIP. It makes me feel seen, acknowledged, loved, and that my work matters. I don't know, but I can only assume that other people feel the same way. So I sent some.

For those whose WIPs I'm not as familiar with yet, I combed through their blog for info about them, and that took some extra time, which meant I wasn't able to send out as many as I wanted. But that's okay because I'll send out more soon.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the ultimate point is to any of this, but that's what's on my mind. Thank you, anon. You're a doll, too. 💕

[hellotemporaryuniverse]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

(Open) tagged by @kcrabb88 lol but I wanted to do it :)

How many works do you have on ao3? 51! (+7 on my secret alt)

What's your ao3 word count? 258,302 + 67,544 -

What fandoms do you write for? currently, it's just star wars, but I've written for criminal minds before and have some unposted marvel wips -

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. Oathbreaking -Qui-Gon repudiates Obi-Wan and breaks their bond during the Phantom Menace Council scene and this has repercussions 2. Underestimation -The BAU team takes a case that reminds Reid uncomfortably of his childhood. Rossi finds him when he can't take it anymore 3. See My Dreams All Die -Obi-Wan kills Anakin on Mustafar and is severely wounded doing so. Palpatine is in need of a new apprentice, and Obi-Wan is so conveniently right there 4. 'Til the Sun Goes Down -Take Revenge of the Sith, but it's Obi-Wan instead of Mace who confronts Palpatine 5. Acquainted with the Night -(Unfinished) Reid is kidnapped on a case and the team races to find him (oh god, I can't believe my fifteen year old self's fics make this list) -

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I want to. desperately. it just takes a lot of time and social energy I don't have so I get behind and then I get overwhelmed. I've got 84 unanswered in my inbox currently, some of them months old :( -

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? it's a toss up between Nothing Gold Can Stay (rip Cody) and The Toll of the Bell (rip the Jedi) -

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The one I just wrote for @ashinaburrito - Happily Ever After (quinobi ftw) -

Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten one or two comments that... disagree very strongly with certain decisions I've made in my fics but no outright flaming. I just delete them -

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes. and the kind you'll only know about if you reach level 20 friendship -

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? not really anymore? I did in my criminal minds phase. I had one years ago that never really got off the ground that was criminal minds/doctor who/x-men which doesn't sound that crazy, but I would think it was a fever dream if I didn't have the document -

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware -

Have you ever had a fic translated? no :') -

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I have a wip buried in the backrooms that I was writing with @charrhylis. poke, poke, I mean, if you still want to... -

What's your all time favorite ship? all time??? codywan... but winterhawk is a close second -

What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will? all of them lmao. I never know when a fic's going to make it to the finish line or not, but if I had to choose one... my The Will of the Force series. it is. such an ambitious project and I have so many other wips going on so I don't think it will ever happen but I stare at it wistfully sometimes -

What are your writing strengths? I have been told I write good dialogue which is funny because dialogue is hell and if I never had to write it again I would be the happiest person ever. unfortunately, it is difficult to write a story without it (believe me, I've tried. I actually succeeded once) -

What are your writing weaknesses? commas............. jk I'm mostly okay at them. my biggest weakness is my need to make everything perfect on the first go around instead of just getting shit on the page and so I agonize over word choice for hours and wind up with stilted sentences. takes ages to get anything done. -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? if it counts as another language, I've written dialogue in dai bendu (Jedi conlang) before. I love it, languages are awesome. and with ao3 you can do hovertext so your readers don't get lost, which is cool. -

First fandom you wrote for? star wars! a wip graveyard fic. but then I moved on to criminal minds, and the first posted was from there -

Favorite fic you've ever written? oh geez uhhhhhh. this is hard because I like my fics for different reasons but... right now, I think it's Soldier, Poet, King just because it's such a good character study and I think it's beautiful. Hits all the right notes trope-wise too.

[pandoa]

♡ Blossom Grove Prompt Event: The Conclusion ♡

i.... i finally... finished

guys oh my god I ACTUALLY FINISHED????? MY FIRST WRITING EVENT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO ONLY GO ON FOR TWO MONTHS- IT'S A MIRACLE

it's been a long time coming, in all honesty, and i am proud (and relieved lol) to say that Blossom Grove: a 100 Followers Special has finally ended. it would have ended sooner, but because life does what it does, requests were always held back throughout these 7-ish months </3

not many of you will get to read this, but i'd still like to thank every single one of you who requested, followed, liked, commented, reblogged, and simply enjoyed the things that i wrote for you all. i think this goes to all writers and artists alike when i say that your presence and little comments make our day so much brighter, so thank you so so much for just enjoying the thing we all make.

i swear when planning this event back in late july, i thought like 10 of you guys would request MAX. i was a really small blog with a dry inbox, so that seemed the most likely at the time. but after getting 30 instead of 10 i knew this would take longer than i thought lolol

throughout the event, i noticed a lot of the things many of you tended to like. some of those included the popularly-requested yellow pansies and anemones prompts, as well as octavinelle gaining the most rqs for this event lmao. which is kinda funny because i feel like octavinelle is the main dorm i struggle writing for the most but anyways 💀

what will i be doing now?

there is one more non-event request i'm working on, but then after that all rqs will be finished. afterward, i'll mainly be writing a lot of the drafts/ideas i had that i wanted to work on during the event but didn't have a chance to. because of this, regular requests will still be closed lol (sorry). they'll be open whenever i feel like i'm ready to take requests again; i'm giving myself a break <3 i'll also be reorganizing the blog because some of my rules are outdated and i want to put some things into order

guys we went from 100 followers to 500. 500. 500 people saw this blog and made it their choice to follow it for whatever reason, and i love each and every one of you regardless of whether you interact or not. and because i'm chronically checking all of my notifs, i know for sure that i've seen your name at least once in my life. you're somewhere there in my memories and i hold you precious to my heart. oh and before i close this, i'd also like to show my mutuals some appreciation too <33 all of you are lovely souls that are a big part of my motivation to keep writing and i'm extremely honored to be mutuals with such amazing people~

and finally, to everyone, thank you for being patient and staying here with me throughout this whole event. Blossom Grove will always be special to me and i can't wait to show you all what else i have in store ♡♡

—sincerely yours, pando

→ → ♡Twisted Wonderland Masterlist♡

[leviathans-watching]

when the brothers realized they liked you

includes: the bothers x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .7k | rated g | m.list

a/n: inspired by part of an anon ask reading "When do you think the brothers were attracted to the MC? I like to imagine it was instant for Lucifer" i hope you don't mind me playing around with your prompt!! my inbox is open to chat, leave feedback, or request, so stop by!!

reblogs are greatly appreciated v,,v

➳ lucifer was intrigued from the very beginning. something about you just drew him in, and while it was unbefitting of him to fall for a mere human, he found he couldn’t stop himself. you were just so unlike anyone he’d ever met, such a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the devildom, and he soon found he was stuck in your trap, ensnared by the way you smiled, the sound of your voice. and perhaps, most surprising of all, lucifer found himself falling under your spell willingly, desperate to get to know you better.

➳ mammon didn’t like you much at first, but as your forced proximity made him to get to know you, he soon found himself becoming more and more willing to show you around, forgetting he was supposed to be protesting it. it soon turned to him seeking you out, instead of the other way around, wanting to see you more often and spend more time with you. his brothers teased him about it, but while he wasn’t exactly subtle, he hoped you didn't see just how transparent he was, if only to preserve the last shreds of his pride.

➳ levi admired you from afar, a little nervous to talk to you. you were something new, something he hadn’t expected, and he wasn’t the best at dealing with new situations when they weren’t behind a device screen. this led to some pretty stunted interactions, and he hoped you wouldn't get a weird impression of him because of it, but thankfully, you were nothing but kind to him, just making him like you more. once he worked up his courage he was able to hang out with you more often, painfully aware of all the times he was able to make you laugh or smile.

➳ satan would not fall for a human, thank you very much. or so he insisted. despite him trying his best, he wasn’t able to stop it, and soon, he found himself seeking your company, inviting you out to places under the guise of showing you around or needing your help. you were a new person to get to know, a new puzzle to play with, and with each piece he managed to fit together, he just liked you more and more. thankfully, you hadn’t known him before, so you weren’t able to see how much his behavior had changed since meeting you.

➳ asmo thought it was the attraction he felt for most everyone, but when it didn’t fade and spilled over into his emotions, he had to admit to himself it was more than that. you were more than that. you made him feel emotions he hadn't felt in a long while, and even though it was somewhat scary, he embraced them with open arms, recognizing feeling like these only came every once in a while, as special people only came around every once in a while. he was unapologetic in his feelings, open and honest with himself, and he could only hope you felt the same way.

➳ beel thought you were a pretty nice person, though nothing too special. he ended up spending some time with you and ended up really enjoying it- it was easy being with you, easy in a way things rarely were, and you accepted him for who he was without question. you were kind and helpful, but so refreshing and funny, and it took him a little while to realize his feelings were more than platonic, once he did he had to wonder why it took him so long. he caught himself thinking about you, a lot, but found he really didn’t mind.

➳ belphie wanted to resent you, he really did, but you were so genuine, so unapologetically you, that he found he couldn’t. he didn’t want to admit to himself that you had endeared yourself to him, so he chalked it up to you being the only person he could talk to and called it good. he knew he was lying to himself, though. you didn’t seem to mind his mood swings or prickliness and often gave as good as you got, making belphie realize speaking with you made him feel more alive than he had in decades.

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

[thehollowprince]

Are you ever just scrolling through Google's recommended articles when you stumble across something that just automatically triggers your rage.

Here was the one that triggered mine from today.

And because I'm apparently something of a masochist, I decided to click on the link. Boy was I not disappointed (by, of course, being totally disappointed).

Here's the opening line of the article.

I knew from the moment I read that line that I was in for a ride that I would not enjoy. Here's their list of the "10 Worst Things Scott McCall has ever done".

10. Scott didn't join Derek's pack

And we're starting off strong with the whole "if only Scott had joined Derek then Isaac, Erica and Boyd wouldn't have needlessly suffered" and "they could have figured out that Lydia wasn't the kanima sooner". Of course, we're totally ignoring that Isaac, Erica and Boyd all needlessly suffered because they were tricked by a grown man into joining his army of child soldiers for a war that they weren't totally informed of. Same thing with Lydia. If Derek had just listened to Scott instead of just trying to kill everything he perceived as a threat, Lydia's life wouldn't have been in danger from his pack in the first place.

It will never cease to amaze me that the same people who proclaim from the rooftops how much they love Derek Hale are the same people who completely ignore all the things that made him that character.

Can you claim to love a character if you ignore more than half of what made them that character?

I know the AA is going to be in my inbox asking how I can claim to love Scott by ignoring his "canon abusive behavior", but we've already covered that multiple times.

9. He made out with Lydia.

While this author does acknowledge that the full moon was playing havoc with Scott's emotions and judgement, they neglect to inform the reader of this article that it was Lydia who kissed Scott, and as such, the author places all the blame squarely on Scott's shoulders.

8. He trusted the bad guys.

Once again, I have to ask (as I often do) whether this person had ever actually watched the show? Or did they get their information from out-of-context gifs and metas and clips on YouTube? Because I don't know how anyone who actually watched the show can say that Scott trusted all the bad guys with conviction.

If Scott had trusted the bad guys without fail, then Gerard and Theo and Peter and the Nogitsune and Monroe would still be running around killing people. Just because he wasn't paranoid the way Stiles was doesn't mean that he was dangerously naive. Scott was willing to work with the bad guys, but he didn't trust them. All the evidence you need is right there in the damn show.

7. Scott tried to control Allison's love life.

And here we have yet another example of a fan trotting out the whole "Scott hit an abuse survivor" excuse, while they never seem to care when Scott, himself a victim of domestic violence was attacked, or when Stiles openly mocked Isaac's abuse.

It's funny how it's bad when one character does it but not so when done by another, huh?

It's also funny how this section was about Scott supposedly controlling Allison's love life and yet just became about how Scott was wrong to hit Isaac. For the record, he was wrong to hit Isaac, but why frame it about him controlling Allison? Could it be the author was trying to make Scott look misogynistic as well as violent? Probably.

6. Scott didn't let Ethan and Aiden in

Why would he?

Just like the first reason listed, the author tries to make Deucalion abandoning the twins, and then Aiden's death, all Scott's fault. The very same author who just criticized Scott for trusting everyone and now they're upset because he didn't automatically trust the twins, especially after they attacked him multiple times, helped kill Boyd and tried to kill Isaac.

It's also amusing how they leave out one of the key reasons why Scott didn't automatically accept the twins into his pack. Because Stiles and Isaac didn't trust them!

5. He kidnapped Liam

"Scott wasn't a great planner."

Um, actually, Scott was a great planner. That's how people like Gerard and Theo got taken down by Scott and his pack. The author goes on to say....

...He might have been the leader, but most of his strategy came from Stiles. The few times he acted without Stiles knowing led to some pretty awful choices.

I don't know where this whole idea that Stiles was this super genius schemer came from, but it sure as hell wasn't the show. Because if they were going by the actual show, they'd know that Stiles' plans ended in disaster almost every time.

It was actually one of the better done things on the show, how Scott and Stiles balance each other other. Scott is great when he has a plan, but the moment he has to think on his feet, he stumbles. It happened at the high school when they were cornered by Peter. It happened at the Rave. It happened when the Nogitsune kept Scott distracted all day. Scott was the planner. Stiles was the one who thought better on his feet. It's right there in the show if you don't believe me.

4. He made everyone else's choices for them

Uh... when?

I have to put the full thing in for this one because it's just...

Scott was incredibly self-righteous before he ever became an Alpha. Despite being a teenager who made a lot of mistakes, Scott always seemed to think he was in the right. Scott’s moral high ground could leave everyone else underwater.

Yes, it’s good to have a hero who has a conscience. Scott, however, didn’t seem to understand that a difference existed between doing bad things for fun and doing bad things for good reasons. That was especially true when it came to things like killing in self-defense or preventing a sociopath from gaining power. It was also true when it came to things like giving someone the bite. Scott only wanted to do things on his terms; he was never ready to accept someone else making decisions or compromising with them.

Again, I ask, when?

What so many of these fans condemn as being "morally superior" was really just Scott not wanting murder and violence to be the go-to choice.

And the instances they list, such as "preventing a sociopath from gaining power" or "giving someone the bite", they claim he is self-righteous but leave out the context behind those instances. Such as the Bite, in which they're obviously referring to Hayden, where they ignore that Scott was pretty sure (and had that opinion backed up by Theo) that giving her the Bite while she was dying would probably kill her. And the other one, did they watch the show? Did they miss the episode where it was revealed that Scotf and Deucalion were working together to prevent Theo from stealing the Beast's power? I'm willing to bet money that the author of this article is the same type of person who loves to blame Scott for the death of half the chimera pack, too.

As for the whole "killing in self-defense" one, we'll get to that next.

3. He believed Theo over Stiles

You knew it was going to be on this list.

I knew it was going to be on this list.

In fact, I knew that you knew it was going to be on the list.

And once again, if we would just watch the show, we would see that Stiles never denied killing Donovan. He never tried to tell Scott it was an accident and used the whole instance as an excuse to start hitting Scott where he knew it would hurt the most.

2. Scott passed judgement on his friends' choices

This one is just downright stupid.

Amusing, too, in that Scott is "too judgemental" and yet the author has spent this entire article judging Scott for how the fandom portrayed him.

1. He refused to get his hands dirty

Seriously, all of this would just stop if these people would just watch the damn show. Actually sit down in front of a television and watch it.

...fans want their heroes to have a moral compass. The issue is that Scott still refused to end the life of a supernatural being even when they were killing everyone in their path. He also frequently manipulated other people into doing it for him...

There was more than one occasion where Scott said out loud he'd be perfectly willing to kill someone. Gerard and Jennifer are the two biggest examples of this. Oh, and there's also the fact that his main goal (via Derek's manipulations) was to take out Peter in season one to cure himself.

Speaking of Derek and Peter...

It started in the first season when Scott refused to kill Peter even after the Alpha turned him and tried to make him into a murderer. Instead, he let Derek do it. In fact, Scott frequently had Derek around to do the dirty work for him...

This right here is how you know this person never watched the show. At all. They've spent their entire Teen Wolf fandom existence on AO3 and following Sterek blogs on Tumblr. Because anyone who had watched the show knew that aside from what I mentioned above about Derek lying to Scott about how killing an Alpha was the only known cure for lycanthropy, that when push came to shove, when they finally had Peter down and the killing blow needed to be struck, that Scott begged Derek to stop and Derek didn't listen, wanting the power for himself. He wanted to be the Alpha now.

That's all right there in the show. It was the season one finale, for crying out loud! It was right before Derek bit Jackson and left him for deas... or did we miss that part, too?

Everything on that list can be easily disproven by simply watching the show they claim to love so much. I know I ask this a lot, but I still don't get how people who claim they love a show can outright ignore almost every single aspect of it.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "why is he so obsessed with this? The show ended four years ago." And you'd be right, except it's been four years since the show ended and we still see takes like this, where the writer has twisted canon to make their views more palatable and believable as opposed to explaining what actually happened on the show.

Hell, this article alone is two years old...

... but I haven't r seen any kind of retraction or correction to this ans that's why I feel compelled to correct this deliberate attempt at spreading misinformation. I can't change the racist attitudes of the people who put stuff like this out there, I know that for a fact. Because sadly it has been four years since this show ended and I still see stuff like this with regularity. The best I can do is point out the lies instead of just letting them sit there with no correction and continue to call out the racism in this fandom.

And at the end of the day, that's what the problem is.

It's the racism!

Because there is no other explanation or excuse as to why people like this author and the AA and others continue to condemn a Latino character for the very same things they praise white characters for.

So, Amanda Bruce, if you're out there and you see this...

[missmorosis]

joke of the day

-> bokuto koutarou

anon asked:

heyy

so everything has been fantastic 😃. family drama, my moms family taking my dad's side even though he's an abusive jerk, my mom blaming me, my dad getting mad at me for no reason, my siblings threatening to kill me every day, my friends ignoring me because i can seem to only mess things up and make them mad, yeah all the peachy stuff. idk why i just spilled that out sorry you had to read about my useless life 😃

but could i request a drabble with Bokuto when the reader is in a situation like that and has totally given up on life? (psssh totally not me). maybe they say something like "give up on me so i can give up on myself"? joke of the day: "depression isn't a joke but my will to live sure is." If this is too much, too stupid, or if you feel uncomfortable feel free to ignore/delete! also gotta say ive binge read your works and i stayed up till like 3 yesterday morning crying over them- u da best 💗💗💗plz take care of yourself and hope you doing good!

OH LOVE I HOPE YOUVE BEEN DOING SO MUCH BETTER NOWADAYS, nobody deserves to go through any of that, and especially not you. my inbox is very much open if you ever need someone to talk to, so theres no need to feel alone alright?? nothing is ever too stupid, im here for you always please dont give up <33

if you see this please stop by and let me know how things are going :)

pairing: bokuto x reader

wc: 400

genre: comfort

tw: hints of depression

Dad jokes were Bokuto's speciality. His whole team was more than tired of the endlessly corny jokes he would crack day in and day out (Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Why, Bokuto." "Because they wanted to play volleyball with the world's best team!" "I don't think that's how it works-").

You, however, grew to love them.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Bokuto came rushing into your room one day, bursting open through the door and interrupting your not-so-productive study session. You were distracted, to say the least, by everything from your family to your friends, so you welcomed Bokuto into your room.

"Hm, Kou?"

"Boy, you're not ready for this one." His excitement made you smile. "What did snowflake-Bokuto say to Y/N? 'I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you!'"

You scrunched your nose. "Does that even count as a joke?" He shrugged.

"How about this one," you started. "Depression isn't a joke but my will to live sure is."

He frowned. "That's- that's not a funny joke, Y/N." You laughed, almost sheepishly, not meeting his eyes. You knew the so-called joke had truth behind it.

Instead, you chose to stare at this oh-so-intriguing spot on your carpet. There was some sort of stain, perhaps from a coffee spill?

"You didn't mean that, did you?" Bokuto reached for your chin, forcing your gaze upwards. "Your will to live is definitely not a joke, okay? It's very important and I want to make sure you think that too."

"Mm," you turned away.

"I mean it. I don't think your life is a joke, and I think I know you better than anyone."

"I guess that's true, but-"

"No buts. It's not a joke, so don't say that ever again." A moment of silence passed as the two of you stared into each other's eyes, having a silent debate before you cracked. His cursed, beautiful amber eyes.

"Okay, fine. I won't." You sighed, and he smiled softly.

"Alright, then." He glanced at your desk, taking a look at what he had interrupted you from. His nose curled in disgust. "Were you doing math?" You nodded.

"Test tomorrow." Your face mirrored the annoyance in his: the mutual hatred of studying.

"Do you know why math books are always unhappy? They have a lot of problems." He smiled like a child, looking proud of himself for that one.

Lot of problems like me, you wanted to say, but you bit your tongue. Instead, you laughed.

Hm. He was already helping.

TAGLIST!! @rayeofmoonlight ​ @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner ​ @idontlikeyourjob ​ @sushijimawakatoshi ​ ​ @bokutsumie ​​ @jesssobs @nachotrash ​ @tsukkisberry ​ ​ @crystal-lilac ​ ​ @hannas16 @cherriesradio ​ ​ @elektrosonix ​ @marissawrld​ @gomchan ​ @mysterystarz ​ @tagehaya MWAH MWAHH

[phenomenalcosmicpowers]

In a recent post on I Dream of Twilight Sparkle I said that I noticed asks that were not in my inbox the last time I decided to read through my entire ask box. So I did the same for my mod blog. And while there were some also that I didn't see before. Most are questions I feel either I feel like I may have already sufficiently answered enough with my thoughts on an episode and/or it'd be weird at this point to answer something that's obviously years after the fact.

But there is two I found that I feel like I may want to respond to. The person who sent it was someone who used to discuss the show with me almost all the time, though obviously they must no longer be on Tumblr as all their blogs are deactivated. But I still want to answer since it is sort of relevant to recent stuff. Particularly in their 2nd ask.

By the way, I'm always open to questions on the show or even non-pony topics here on my modblog. I still do love talking about G4 ponies and I wouldn't mind some questions if any of you would like to know my opinion on anything. Now that the show has been over for nearly 2 years , I can have a perspective on many topics about Friendship is Magic that I wouldn't mind sharing. Maybe some things have changed here and there, though I think I still generally have a positive attitude towards most things for certain. I stuck with the show until the very end, and was satisfied with how it ended. And I still have interest in doing more in G4's world even as G5 approaches. (Though I'm sure perhaps once that movie has aired that may be the focus of any questions sent here)

((My answer and more after the break))

For the most part, I think I still generally agree with what I said in my initial thoughts about the Season 6 finale. It's a solid episode with some great interactions between Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Though the way the ending is executed is a bit of a headscratcher. Maybe somewhat less so since thinking about it now, like even if Chrysalis did keep some things loyal. What would stop them from eventually seeing what Thorax's changelings did shortly after.

But I suppose I wanted to answer this mostly about Starlight. Since while the Season 6 finale made HomerJ get over some remaining feelings about Starlight. I'll admit it took literally until writing Secrets of the Dragon's Tear (A year after the show was over) to realize the sort of potential that Starlight had. The baggage from the Season 5 finale always felt like a cloud above her for the entire rest of the show's run. And I consider Season 6's largest mistake is not trying harder to endear us to Starlight. That's what that season's entire job was, to try to make us feel a little better of how rather rushed Starlight's redemption was by giving us a more expanded look into Starlight's character. And unfortunately, I feel like it failed at that in my opinion. Thus I basically disagree (Though respect the opinion of) with those who would say the Season 6 finale was when Starlight finally won them over.

Don't get me wrong, I like how Starlight is portrayed in the episode. But it would of been stronger if say the season had explained more about Starlight's past. How did Starlight get her cutie mark, and given her opinion on Cutie Marks how did she feel at the time?

Instead, we mostly just got Starlight reuniting with Sunburst that didn't exactly give any more details to her rather vague reasons for turning to darkness from him moving away other then finding out Sunburst's personality and how his side of the story went. And from there we had Starlight befriend Trixie... in an episode I still don't really like to this day.

Ironically, the character in the Hearth's Warming episode that casts Starlight as the story's version of Scrooge (Snowfall Frost) is given more reason to sympathize with then Starlight herself.

Starlight then just about disappears up until the episode that introduces Thorax. Where she doesn't do much other then be among the crowd that Spike has to convince that Thorax is not evil.

The next time we see her is Every Little Thing She Does. Which is something of a controversial ep from what I hear, though ironically despite my skepticism of Starlight at the time. I actually sort of liked that episode since it was basically Starlight's own Lesson Zero. Though I get why Starlight deciding to hypnotize all the Mane 6 besides Twilight against their will would not be approved of. Though it does feel like at the very least Twilight and the rest give her enough of a piece of their mind at the end.

And that's how things stood before the Season 6 finale happened. Even though I do think Starlight has good moments in said finale, nothing earlier in the season really dispelled many of my feelings about the Season 5 finale's ending. So despite a good showing, I could hardly care for it. I wasn't convinced yet we were given a satisfactory answer about the many questions that Starlight's sudden redemption prompted.

Another part of my thoughts I feel still applies is when I mentioned that Starlight's a "Diet Sunset Shimmer" (Which considering what I did to link the two for SOTDT, is a bit funny in hindsight). It took just one movie (Rainbow Rocks) for the fanbase to turn a 180 on Sunset. While an entire season with Starlight as one of the good guys goes by and she remained just as divisive as before if not more so by the end of Season 6.

Come Season 7, and Starlight appears quite a bit more often though under the assumption that the Season 6 finale was enough to warm you up to her. There were many complaints during the first half of Season 7 that she was appearing more then she should (Even in an Equestria Girls special where she got to meet the character she was so often compared to). Though another thing about Starlight in Season 7 in hindsight is besides from her meeting a few more friends like Maud. Starlight isn't actually given much to actually work towards. They dropped the whole student aspect so it's not like she was doing friendship lessons under Twilight anymore (Though I suppose on the bright side for the detractors, it lessened worries about her becoming an Alicorn). Season 8 and 9 does somewhat fix that by having Starlight employed at the school, first as a counselor and ultimately ending with her as the school's Principal as Twilight herself got promoted to sole ruler. Which I'm still unsure about if fans of her character feel that was a proper ending for her. Though probably the best that could of been done in context of not much having been done with her over time.

Still, at least for me personally it felt there was alot missing about Starlight and as time went on it became obvious I wasn't going to get the satisfactory answers about her that I wanted. So as a result, I only had lukewarm reactions when a new Starlight episode was coming up. It also didn't help that there were two episodes that raised my hopes of at least one interesting aspect that would of been cool to see. The first being the episode "All Bottled Up" which I had hoped would mean it would be an episode that's somewhat genie related. And then there was Road to Friendship where Starlight and Trixie try to travel to Saddle Arabia (which is an important location in I Dream of Twilight Sparkle)... and yet never actually get there. So even on the few times that I was hoping to be excited about a Starlight episode, it dropped the ball. Partly my fault for getting so hyped about something that wasn't promised, but I would of loved to at least SEEN canon Saddle Arabia.

I'd never say that I hated Starlight back during the show's run. But she was a frustrating character for certain back then. I couldn't hate Starlight as much as some others did, but at the same time I couldn't like her as much as others. She was in likability limbo. For every fun and or good moment that included her, it's brought right back by either lingering problems that arised from the Season 5 finale or otherwise dropping the ball in some way.

In some ways, she's still a frustrating character. Though that's just how it'll always be with the canon Starlight. It's up entirely now to fanon to give their approach on Starlight that was never done in Canon. With SOTDT, I obviously did a bit of a "Fine, I'll do it myself" when it comes to making Starlight a more satisfactory character for me. Though I'm sure there are many interpretations that are vastly different from how I approached it that can satisfy others and probably be more popular and better written then mine. (My interpretation might be understandably controversial just for Starlight being put back on a path where she'll likely become an Alicorn eventually. Something Starlight detractors feared the most. Though I think I at least try to explain as best I could that makes sense with the story, her cutie mark moment being similar to Twilight's, and the identity of her mother. And I myself sort of feared Starlight becoming an Alicorn might happen, so for me to actually write it so that it might be inevitable. That's just how much of a 180 I've taken on Starlight because of writing SOTDT)

I think I mentioned this before, but I can pretty much say that in a way that I can actually say I like Starlight now. But sort of in a "FiM's biggest missed opportunity" sort of way that it becomes sort of sad to look at how canon Starlight was done. Rather then me simply shrugging her off back when I didn't care so much about her. I also understand it's a bit cheating to say I like Starlight now after doing my own sort of fanfic that had her in a major role since that might be me tooting my own horn a bit.

Though I will say as much as necessary that I am very aware alot of what happens in SOTDT would have been impossible to do in canon and I don't plan on pushing what I did to expand on Starlight's backstory as gospel. It only applies to what I'm doing on the blog, I will not be making a case that my interpretation is the only correct one. I'd actually welcome seeing some different interpretations on things such as who Starlight's mother is, what they feel her past was like outside of the Sunburst leaving incident, and/or especially how Starlight originally got her cutie mark. (I've even said my personal guess is different then how I did it in SOTDT, as my guess is she got it the first time she discovered the cutie mark removal spell). Cause if nothing else, I've realized Starlight is a very interesting character that I think would be fun to explore all the possibilities with. It certainly could be something for those still on the G4 train to talk with one another about.

[nny11writes]

I didn't know you were taking prompts!!! But if you still are — “I’ll always be here for you.” for Obi-Wan and Ahsoka?

My dear, my inbox is ALWAYS open for prompts, I swear half my fics are prompt fics lol!

For anyone confused or wanting to play you can send in a Fluff Prompt or a Cuddling Prompt an Angst Prompt (I swear I reblogged a list of those and I know I posted fic for it, but now I can’t find the list????) or just something you’d like me to write! Sentence starters, fic titles, etc etc etc. :D

Also, forgive me, there’s a tiny bit of angst in this because suddenly it became canon to the Twilight Sith!Soka AU but it’s still mostly fluff!

Ahsoka cursed softly as she stared at the unmarked tea box. It wasn’t like her day hadn’t already been frustrating enough but to get so close to her daily allotted dose of poison only to cruelly have it ripped away from her...it was nearly the last straw. She tilted it to pour a few leaves out and hummed thoughtfully as she sniffed and poked at them, as if she was versed enough to know just from that what kind of tea it was. Brilliant, she’d just have to waste some to find out.

“Rooibos I’m afraid,” Obi-Wan chuckled lightly from behind her, a small wash of blue light poked around Ahsoka’s arms before he moved to her side. “This is not the tea you’re looking for.”

She slowly, carefully, put the lid back on and then proceeded to tap it against her forehead in a satisfying thwaping sound.

“Mmm, quite.” He chuckled.

It turned out that Anakin was not the only Force ghost alive. Alive? Ahsoka squinted at the tin again, frowning at her bony fingers as she took a deep breath. Existing maybe, arguably alive. But where Anakin had only had the bravery to face her that first time on his own terms, always deferring to her after she’d left Dagobah, Obi-Wan had no such compunction. 

Which was wildly hilarious if she thought about it too long. Anakin Skywalker being polite and overly formal while Obi-Wan Kenobi often just waltzed into her life without a care before vanishing again.

“This one here,” one of his incorporeal hands poked at another unmarked tin, “Strong enough to keep me up a whole day, and bitter enough that I wouldn’t waste it.” Somehow his eyes managed to twinkle through the glowing. “So it should suit you just perfectly.”

She snorted, one hand covering her eyes as she tried to not smile. Damn him. “I am not that bitter.”

His eyebrows shot towards his receding hairline as he stared her down.

Bastard. “...anymore,” she grumbled while switching to the other tin.

Inside of this one is a much smaller leaf with the occasional spot of gray among the brown. Like the whole hut, the tin was covered in dust but the inside is pristine. Obi-Wan may have given up many comforts while living on Tatooine, but apparently suffering stale tea was not one of them. A small sniff almost makes her gag, it’s overwhelming. Smoke and funk and stinky feet.

“You drank this?” Ahsoka asked, aghast on his behalf.

Obi-Wan smiled benevolently as he sat on the counter, shifting slowly as the memories came to him until there was no longer an old man but a young one instead. She will never say it, but Ahsoka likes when he changes to look like this. Like her best memories of him.

“I got tired of Cody stealing my kaf, so I got creative.”

The faintest smile tugged at her lips. “I see, and now decades later you’re trying to kill me.”

He tilted his head back to look at her literally down his nose. “You are the one who calls caffeine poison. I’m merely assisting.”

“Too much of it kills you and it developed so animals wouldn’t eat it,” Ahsoka shrugged but still went about preparing the pot, “therefore, poison.”

The spoon she was using to measure the leaves out passed through his armor covered hand before she dropped the remaining leaves back into the tin and sealed it. Apparently the limit for three cups of tea was pitiful.

“Oh don’t pout, you’ll thank me later.”

“I do not pout.” Ahsoka grumbled as she waited for the water to boil.

As they lapsed into a comfortable silence Obi-Wan slowly changed back to the age he was when he died. Slain by Vader she’d learned, almost backsliding as the rage and horror and pain washed over her. Her fury nearly boiled over at her grandmaster’s flippant, “Well I did tell Anakin not to do it, but he never did like listening to me.” She’d yelled and he’d left, and then a few weeks later he returned to point out an error in her paperwork.

And then a few days after that to mock her pitiful attempt at cooking. A few weeks after that he popped by to chat. Months later he scared the kriff out of her while she’d been on the fresher and he simply vanished into a mortified mist.

But more and more he came all the same. Usually to chatter idly with her, but sometimes to assist her.

Like now. 

Ahsoka had come back to Tatooine to gather whatever might be left of Obi-Wan’s corporeal life. It had mostly been as a distraction while Barriss was meeting with the boy. She carefully put the tin back down and made sure to not lose control of her grip and dent it. Barriss was off meeting with Skywalker and Ahsoka had known that trying to stay home would be foolish. So she came here instead to pack and clean and sell the place if possible. She wasn’t surprised that he would show himself here, it was his home after all.

All the same.

“Why are you here?” She finally asked, making sure to keep her eyes trained onto the pathetically slow burner.

There was a pause before he asked, voice soft and small. “Do you want me to leave?”

She snorted again and glared at him, “What did I just ask you?”

Obi-Wan shifted a bit. Hair growing and thinning, wrinkles coming and going, but his eyes always sharp and bright. “...two reasons. The first, well, simply put I had a promise to keep with you that I failed at rather spectacularly.”

At her confused look he paused again, before smiling warmly, “I did say I’d always be there for you.”

It was kind of funny that her first thought was about how she thought she’d lost the ability to blush, all the burst capillaries in her face over the years and training should’ve stopped something so obvious. But the way he said it, the genuineness she felt in the Force, she was flushed from head to toe. The wiggling feeling in her chest wasn’t discomfort though, no it was...goodness, it was warmth. She didn’t know how to explain it. The soft edges of the feeling and the energy behind it.

She returned his smile with as much of the strange gooey feeling as she could before looking back at the burner, of course since she’d been distracted the water was now boiling. She pulled it off the heat and waited until the bubbling settled to pour. “And the second reason?”

“Yes, the more pressing one.” He didn’t even give her a half second to tense up. “I missed you.”

“...you missed me?”

Obi-Wan frowned at her, befuddled before answering. “Of course.”

Like it was just that simple.

Ahsoka counted down the seconds until she could take the leaves out, reaching through the Force to him. Cradling the feeling of his presence as best she could with her own.

Maybe it was.

She poured her first cup and without allowing herself too much time to smell took a sip. It was as awful as it smelled. The second sip was no better. The third was somehow worse. But with the stimulant hitting her system Ahsoka found she didn’t care that much.

She still tilted her cup towards him. “I understand you want to spend more time with me, but killing me isn’t the way to do it old man.”

Obi-Wan laughed, fingers lacing together over his stomach.

The rest of her time there, he hovered by her side with a bland smile to cover his vicious barbs, and occasionally commented on her stimulant addiction with too much glee.

She was going to miss him when she left.

[shra-vasti]

KWON SOONYOUNG

Series : To all the boys

Pairing : Kwon Soonyoung x reader

Type : non idol au, ex-couple au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : few curse words

Word count : 1.8k

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 01.10.2020] | one | previous | next

It's been exactly a week since you started dating Soonyoung. He was happy when you contacted him the very next day and asked him to meet you.

You were feeling guilty that you broke his heart and the tear stained picture on his face which was on your mind all throughout the night didn't let you sleep.

It was childish, you were aware. You had the right to reject but no one had ever cried for you so you didn't think twice before asking Kihyun for his number.

"You do realize that this is a one sided relationship?" Andie asked as she along with your other friend, Zeny, were hanging out with each other at her house.

"I know." you said softly as you plopped yourself on her bed on your back, your head hanging by the edge of her bed staring at the ceiling.

"You're going to get bored soon." Zeny tagged along, continuing the snack she was eating earlier.

"Actually I'm already bored." you laughed ironically.

Your friends told you what you did is going to end up hurting him but now you regretted not listening to them.

"You shouldn't have agree with him just because you pity him." Andie shook her head at you like she knew this would happen.

"I didn't realize I was pitting him okay? I just felt bad and thought I should do something about him."

"Could have friendzoned him or something."

You huffed feeling frustrated, it was all your fault and you didn't want to overflood yourself with guilt that he probably was thinking about you all the time and here you were thinking about how you regret going out with him.

Soonyoung's a fun guy with a really adorable eye smile. He loved dancing and was serious about it. He always had this habit of messaging you whenever he was going out with his friends or family.

He loved to brag about you, a thing you had come to learn over a few days of span and that only fueled you with more guilt.

You were still young, didn't know much about relationships and love and he was older than you by couple of years but that didn't stop him from showering you with love.

When you look back at the time spent with him, you had never really done anything for him since you still weren't familiar with him.

You knew basics about him but that's it, you didn't know what keeps him up at night, what's the story behind his non favorite ice cream flavor, what kind of a person he is, none of it.

And somehow instead of you feeling ecstatic about knowing more of him you found yourself getting more and more bored.

The sudden notification from your phone put a halt in your conversation, you reached towards your phone to see who was it.

Soonyoung : I'll pick you up in an hour ;-)

"Oh shiii, I forgot I had a date with him."

You instantly replied him with a quick okay and started packing your stuff to go to your house and get ready.

"How can you forget about a date with your own boyfriend?" Andie laughed sipping her drink and shaking her head at you.

"Shut up."

You waved them goodbye and meet you soon and made a run towards your house which was few blocks away from your own.

"If it wasn't for him being excited about the date an hour prior I wouldn't have even realized that we had a date today."

You talked with yourself as you hurriedly walked towards your house, sweating and breathing heavily.

"Gosh this is so tiresome." you cried out feeling more and more irritated. Now you even had to take a shower and get ready and meet him in just 45 minutes.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"You are looking beautiful today."

You smiled at his compliment, muttering a soft thankyou as you walked side by side with him on the park.

You had a great time with him, he took you to arcade, then you guys went to eat sushi after that you had some dessert, watched a movie and then here you were, at the park.

"Today's weather is great."

You held your hand at your back, appreciating the soft wind blowing on your face and hair.

"It is." he mumbled suddenly getting nervous.

"Why? Is there something wrong?"

You asked laughing at his nervous self, shaking your head.

You wanted to spend sometime with your friends cause you didn't get to hangout with them much since the past week and now that you were here with Soonyoung enjoying the soft breeze, you kind of missed being with them doing crazy things.

You liked the peaceful atmosphere but you felt restricted, that you'll have to show your unseen side to someone you barely knew.

"Nothing just, I wanted to give you this."

You stopped in your track, turning towards him.

"A gift?"

"Yes."

He took a small box from his pocket, eyes glittering with excitement and hope but you didn't feel the same excitement, yes your stomach was churning but not because of happiness, you were dreading.

He took your hands in his gently as you stood there still looking at him in shock. He slipped the ring on your right hand.

"In the far future when we'll be ready, I'll give you a more beautiful and proper ring on your left hand. But for now this is all I can give, a promise ring."

You immediately took your hand back making him confused as you scanned your hand where a new piece of jewellery was adorned.

"Aren't we too young for this? I mean we don't even know each other much."

"But I see a great future ahead. Is it beautiful?"

You couldn't say anything he kept on cutting you off. You nodded your head as you scanned the ring, it was indeed beautiful.

"My sister helped me to choose it."

"Your sister knows about me?"

Your thoughts were running wild just like your heart, he told his sister about you and the ring too.

If you look from outside you could see that you gave zero fvcks about this relationship so since when did he get so ahead of himself?

"Soonyoung, don't you think this is too early? You have to think things through. We're still young."

You saw his face fell at that, he looked down at his feet and his hands found their way inside his jeans pocket.

"You didn't like it?"

"It's not about me not liking it. We don't even know much about each other to take such a huge commitment."

"Such a huge commitment? You're acting like you don't feel for me. Wait, you feel for me right?"

His hands were suddenly on your shoulders, his body pressed against your. You tried to pull away but his grip was tight, completely opposite of the delicate and solemn look on his face.

"Soonyoung-"

"You feel for me right? Isn't that the reason why you agreed with this relationship?"

His voice was hurried looking desperately for an answer in your eyes but all you did was ignore making an eyes contact with him.

"Soonyoung I think we should head home, both of our mind are mess and I don't want you or me to say something which will end into something both of us don't want."

You pushed him away from you slowly, taking in his form for one last time beside you turn your back on him hailing a taxi and leaving him behind in the middle of the park, tears flowing down his face.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"Kihyun everything is fucked up, I was dating him casually and he's all serious for me, he told his sister about me and gave me a freaking promise ring. I'm still young to get committed and I don't even feel for him at all."

You were currently on a call with Kihyun, as soon as you reached your house you changed your clothes and had your dinner hurriedly before calling him.

You chose to tell him cause he was the one who had decided to bring Soonyoung into your life and he was a common ground between two of you.

"Tell him you don't want this. You will keep on leading him on. You do before it gets out of hand. I'll try my best to handle him."

"Kihyun, you know how I'm right? I really didn't want to hurt him but this is starting to suffocate me."

"I know you babe chill. It's just a relationship, it isn't supposed to be this stressful." he laughed trying to calm your nerves down since he knew you'll not be able to sleep at this rate.

"This isn't funny." you pouted even though he couldn't see you.

"Tell him now or tomorrow but do it as soon as you can."

You talked with him for few more minutes before hanging up the phone. You layed down on your bed cursing at yourself.

You had to do it otherwise it will get out of hand, it was going to hurt him and you only blamed yourself for it. The look on his face after rejection would have been much more preferable than his heartbroken one.

You got up, reaching for your mobile kept on the night stand.

You took a deep breath before opening up his inbox.

You : what are you doing..?

You : are you home yet?

You : I'm sorry about earlier but I want to talk with you...

Sent

You took a deep breath, waiting for his reply. You went inside your bathroom washing your face and doing everything else to avoid the nervousness building up inside you.

Soonyoung : I reached few minutes ago and had dinner. What do you wanna talk about?

Read

This was now or never, you encouraged yourself as you looked at your phone.

You : I think it will be great if we just break up, I dont think this is working anymore. I'm sorry...

Soonyoung : Is this because I gave you the ring? I'm sorry if you think it's too soon, I can wait. Seriously, believe me. But don't do this, don't leave me.

You : I'm sorry Soonyoung, I really don't feel anything for you, I thought the feelings would come after spending time with you but it didn't I'm really sorry, I can't do this. The ring was really beautiful but I felt really guilty I'm sorry. Please don't contact me from now on.

Soonyoung : So is this how it is?

Soonyoung : how could you?

Soonyoung : you seriously hurt me.

You : typing...

Blocked

You closed your eyes when your message couldn't get delivered, he fucking blocked you? You laughed at yourself, you were feeling awful about yourself but you prayed that he'll find someone who will treat him like he deserved, unlike you.