#it would be so bad that the only reason why I took breaks was bc my wrist hurt so bad
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keii · 2 years ago
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hate when I’m drawing where I’m in the zone and my hands start to shake forcing me to take a break and eat something… I sometimes wished I still had the desperation of my college self where I drew every waking second of the day as if my life depended on it, but to be able to have the quality of my current art LOL
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ghostfacd · 11 months ago
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YES I KNOW THAT HE’S MY EX! | TOM BLYTH
pairing. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
summary. you knew tom was your ex, and that you should probably stay away, but that’s never stopped you before
part 1 | installment of this au (please read for more context!)
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ynuser :)
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user1 im loving the aesthetic
user2 THE BIKINI TOP IS SO CUTE
user3 put them toes awayyyy
rachelzegler i pay attention to things that most people ignore (this isn’t your car.)
➥ user4 PLEASE?? not rachel using yn’s own lyrics on her
➥ user5 IS THIS TOM’S CAR??
user6 i may be delulu but those r tom blyth’s mfing hands.
user7 he has her hair tie on; i repeat, tom blyth literally has yn’s hair tie on
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When Tom had messaged you saying he wanted to talk, no matter how much you knew it was a bad idea, you decided to agree to it anyway.
The breakup had ended pretty badly. Although it was an agreement between you and Tom, that didn’t mean that’s what the both of you truly wanted.
The reason the two of you broke up in the first place was that Tom was talking too much about your future, which wasn’t a bad thing — but it overwhelmed you. You weren’t ready to settle down, not yet, at least. You and Tom had only been dating for a few months, and although it was all sweet and loving, you knew that getting engaged this early was like asking for a disaster to strike.
He was upset. Clearly. He loved you, you loved him, so why was it such an inconvenience for you to agree to take the leap in your relationship? That caused a blown out argument between you two, and by the end of it, you had agreed breaking up was the right thing.
You had a acting and music career to focus on, and Tom had an acting career that was just at the beginning of its success. You felt that it wasn’t right to put a distraction into his life.
“Is this a bad idea?” You ask breathlessly as you pull away from the kiss. You can’t help but stare into Tom’s eyes, which held a language of their own.
“Maybe,” he says, wiping the corner of your mouth. “But who cares?”
Who cares. Right. Well surely, it was a bad idea to meet up with your ex, much less kiss him, and although alarms were baring in your head that you probably shouldn’t—you go in for a second kiss, this time, Tom doesn’t let you go, cradling you close to his body.
“I don’t care if you don’t want to take the next step in our relationship, I’m fine if you’re not ready yet. I just want you, okay?”
And how could any girl possibly reject Tom Blyth when he’s begging so prettily? Certainly not you.
tomblyth and ynuser both posted an instagram story !
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ynsbiggestfan THE GIRLS AND I AFTER SEEING THE STORIES ON INSTA
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user8 IM ACTUALLY DYING BC NO WAY WAS THAT A COINCIDENCE
user9 they’re connected they cant be far away from each other
user10 she’s my Heather 💔💔
➥ user12 fr i wish tom was that inlove w me
user13 so this is why rachel said that wasn’t yn’s car
➥ user14 ITS ALL MAKING SENSE NOW
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sean.kauf photo dumpy
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ynuser pic creds ?? 🤬
➥ sean.kauf 🤓🤓
user15 wait im confused, is she together with tom again or is she with sean..
user16 Ykw i cant even be mad, if i was as hot as yn, i’d have two bfs too!
➥ user17 REAL SHIIT
tomblyth fun fact: the 2nd pic is sean third wheeling after forcing me and yn to speak to each other
➥ user17 TOM CONFIRMED IT IM DEAD
user18 all the yn haters must feel stupid asf rn after accusing yn of being with sean
➥ user19 literally cause all 3 of them are literally close 😭😭 like why would sean date yn, he’s literally friends with tom
user20 if yn isn’t dating sean let me have him omg
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ynuser yes i know that he’s my ex but can’t two people reconnect !!!!!
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user21 this took the cake.
user22 time to cry again bc tom blyth is off the market
user23 she got him wrapped around her finger FR
user24 THE THIRD PIC OF THEM 🥹🥹
user25 THE CAPTION OUUU GIRLY IS BRAVE
tomblyth i only see you as a friend (the biggest lie i’ve ever said)
➥ user26 I CHOKED
➥ user27 THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS ARE CRYING RN
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darnell-la · 3 months ago
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how about dark!logan and ex-girlfriend human reader. They broke up bcs she thought he was cheating on her, but turns out it was just misunderstanding and now dark!logan gets jealous that she already moved on from her
note: this story was an emotional roller coaster, but that’s how we like it. we love a bit of chaos and overreaction.
in this story, Logan is pretty emotional whether that’s him being sad at first or turning into a wild animal once he gets y/n back. of course, his jealousy is mentioned when he FUCKS y/n. he HATED how close she was to a man while he was being ignored.
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
“We’re done, Logan, and that’s that,” Y/n said before she walked away from the man. “Y/n! — Hey!” The man stalked after her, confused about where this attitude came from.
“You’re not going to just break up with me, and walk away without an explanation!” The man said as he sped in front of her to stop her in her tracks.
“You get no explanation, just like I didn’t. I’ve been confused, hurt, upset, and left for months! You can deal with it for the rest of your life,”
That was the last time y/n had talked to Logan. The young woman packed her stuff at night so she wouldn’t cause a scene, and left.
Y/n feels off about being here again. It’s been a year, and she hasn’t quite talked to anyone since then. Of course, Charles would speak to her through her thoughts, but at times, she shut him out.
Hank, Storm, and Jean try to invite her to parties or get-togethers, thinking she’d maybe come one day, but she never does. She was in a whole new state in those times.
Scott on the other hand messaged her every day he could. Apart from her thoughts he only wanted to get close to her, to get at Logan from past jealousy, but in actuality, he genuinely liked her company.
The man texted her every day, even called and somehow, she’d answer him. Scott felt special that out of everyone, she’d answer him.
Logan was the only one in the group that had no contact with y/n. She had blocked the man anytime a new number or social media account popped up. He was desperate, and she hated it. She hated him.
“Charles said you were coming. Didn’t believe it until now,” Scott said as he walked out of the mansion, instantly picking y/n up into a hug. “Did you get stronger?” Y/n laughed after the man placed her down. “You can say that,”
“Y/n!?” Storm shouted before her, Hank and Jean ran over to her, giving her a group hug. For a second, she felt bad for leaving them all behind, but after Logan, she had to go somewhere. She couldn’t stay around anymore.
“How long are you staying?” Hank asked as he grabbed her bags, as well as Scott's. “Maybe a night or two,” she replied making them all sigh. “Seriously!? You can’t leave us like that. Not again,” Jean spoke.
Y/n didn’t hate Jean, but when she looked at the woman, she felt pain. It wasn’t her fault that Logan couldn’t put aside his feelings.
“Maybe I’ll stay long,” Y/n said before walking into the mansion. Storm and Jean drifted off to finish whatever they were doing while Hank and Scott took her to her room. Her old room that she hadn’t really slept in since she used to be with Logan all the time.
“Logan will be here. He went out to get wood,” Hank said before he left. “You okay with being back? You never really told us why you did,” Scott spoke after y/n sat down on her bed.
“Oh, just some personal things going on. That’s it,” she said. “Heard you haven’t talked to Logan. Was he the reason why you left?” He asked as he sat next to the young lady. He knew it was, but didn’t know why.
“I don’t really feel like talking about it or him. I kinda don’t even wanna see him,” y/n said, making Scott chuckle. “I feel you on that, but Logan’s crushed. I hate the man, but I also hate to see a teammate distracted,”
Scott got up and walked towards her room door, ready to get back to what he was doing. “Think about it, because my motorcycle just pulled up,” Scott said before leaving.
Y/n sighed, knowing Logan was going to make his way straight up here. She didn’t know how he’d react. She didn’t know how she’d react. What will she possibly do or say?
Y/n said in silence for only a couple of minutes before her door opened. He had pushed it open, not believing she was here until he saw her.
“Y/n,” he said before rushing over to her. The man dropped to his knees and hugged the girl tightly. His face hurried into her stomach as tears streamed down his face. She was really here.
“Logan,” y/n softly pushed at his shoulders, but he wouldn’t let go. He didn’t want to. It’s been a year, and he’s traveled to so many places, hoping to find her, but she was never there.
“Lo,” she spoke again, and this time, he pulled away. His hands rose to her face and cupped both of her cheeks. “I-It’s been so long,” the man looked into her eyes, making her feel like shit.
The man who couldn’t give her any attention gave it to her a year later. How dare he make her feel like this?
“Yeah — It has,” she softly pulled his hands away from his wrist. The man’s face changed from, I’m so happy you’re finally here, too, what’s going on? She’s never been this way towards him until that night. The last night he saw her.
“I’m kinda tired, so, yeah,” she spoke, wanting him away from her and out of her sight. “D-Don’t go to sleep without me, lemme get a shower in then I’ll-“ he stood up and walked towards the door, but the woman cut him off. “No,” she said with a stern voice.
“I like being alone,” she added. The man looked back at her, confused about why his girlfriend was acting this way. “Baby, what’s up with you? I-I thought that maybe since you came back, fixed whatever was going on with you,” Logan said in a soft voice.
“Whatever what going on with me!? God, Logan — Please, the fuck out,” y/n rolled her eyes. “Y/n, I didn’t mean it like-“ he tried explaining himself. “I said get the fuck out!” She yelled at the man.
Logan’s body jumped slightly, shocked at the way she was being. He didn’t know what was wrong, and she refused to tell him. It’s been a year, and she still hasn’t told him.
Logan opened his mouth, but the girl turned around and tucked herself under her covers. She was done seeing him for tonight. For the rest of the time she planned to stay here.
“Been a while since you’ve partied with us. Kinda missed that,” Scott said after he took a shot with y/n. “Yeah — I kind of missed it too,” she admitted with a smile. “Wanna dance?” The man asked in a friendly way, and she accepted.
The two went on the dance floor, dancing wide by wide for a while until he grabbed her hips. They both laughed with each other, having the most fun she’s had in a year.
“God, I’ve missed you, y/n. Texting and calling ain’t enough, you know? Maybe you should come visit me or I’ll come visit you,” he suggested. “I’ll think about it,” she smiled.
As Scott and y/n hugged it out on the floor, Logan couldn’t help but stop it. The man pushed off of the tree he was leaning back on in the distance and sped over to the two.
The man was close, about to ruin whatever the fuck they had going on, but y/n pulled away and said something to the man before she left.
Logan stopped in his tracks and watched her walk off to the side of the party. She got on her phone and began texting.
“Might stay with family for another night. I’ll be back to work soon,”
“So — How’s your night going?” Logan asked, making y/n turn around as she placed her phone in her pocket. Looking at the man in front of him felt different. When she first got here, the man looked warm out.
He had grown the beard but didn’t take care of it, his face looked dirty like he hadn’t washed it, his eyes were baggy, and she swore his body looked less fit, but not too much. Only she’d notice it…
“Can you not just fuck off? For once, Logan! Fuck!” Y/n shouted at the man who came up to her with two cups. He noticed she’d been drinking for the past few days, and even though he hated it when she did, he still brought one of the lighter drinks to maybe get close to her.
“But why? You won’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me. I-I don’t understand, y/n,” Logan’s voice cracked as he walked after y/n through the woods. “I’m goin’ to bed. Gotta leave early tomorrow,” the woman had instantly changed her mind about staying.
“W-What!?” Logan basically screamed. She hadn’t even been here for a week. She hadn’t spoken to him unless she yelled at him. She was going to leave him. Again.
“Y/n, stop it!” The man shouted as he threw the two cups to the ground and ran in front of her to stop her in her tracks. Last time, that didn’t stop her from leaving, but he’ll make sure it does this time.
“Logan — Get the fuck out of my way,” she said as she moved to the side, but before she could go any further, he grabbed her arm tightly. The man slowly grew angry, but still had all that sad emotion running through his heart.
“N-No — I-I’m not gonna let you talk to Storm, talk to Jean, talk to Hank a-and dance on Scott and leave without talking to me!” The man’s eyes teared up again.
“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you, so,” y/n went to pull away, but he tightened his grip. She was human, and he knew that grip would hurt, but he couldn’t let her go again. Not without an explanation, and even if she gave a damn good one, he wasn’t letting her out of his sight again.
“Logan, ow!” She shouted at the man, now slapping his arm. “Stop it — Stop it, y/n!” He yelled in her face, letting a deep growl escape his mouth.
“Y-You’re not leaving! — I-I’m not letting you go again, so, like— So what if you hate me now? So what i-if you don’t wanna date me anymore? Y-You don’t have to leave though,”
“Logan-“ y/n tried saying. “No! You’re not gonna fuckin’ talk to Scott, and not me!” The man finally let her arm go with a push. The look on his face made sure she knew he was angry, but all she could do was roll her eyes.
“You’re a dick, you know? All you care about is me talking to Scott, but nothing else. What about what you did, huh? What about what you did!” Y/n grew angry. “You won’t tell me what I did!” Logan shouted.
“Because you should already know! Why do I have to tell my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend that giving another woman more attention than me, is a problem!? Why!? That’s not my place to if you’re a real man, and clearly — You’re not!”
Y/n nudged Logan’s shoulder as she walked by, but instantly got grabbed and pushed against a tree. The man held her upper arm, not letting her go anywhere.
“What the fuck are you talking about, babe? Ian never gives no other woman my attention. Not one! I-I’ve only thought about you for the past year!”
“Oh, is that true? Then why before I finally dumped your ass, Hank blabbered to me that you and Jean, your ex-kissing toy, by the way, were going on a secret mission?” Y/n finally asked.
“Oh, oh- And tell me why he also said that you choose to go on mission with her, instead of me. Tell me that! Tell me why you can’t tell me that you’re going on missions with your ex!” Y/n yelled in the man’s face with no tears in her eyes. Just full of anger.
“Baby, I — Baby, Hank wasn’t supposed to tell you-“ Logan went to say, but y/n cut him off with a wild scream as she shook her whole body. She was furious and wanted him out of her face.
“Of course, he wasn’t, you dumb bitch! Because you’re a cheating son of a bitch! A fuckin’ dumb, damn good-looking, manipulative cheater!”
“Baby, no, no- That’s not what I am. You never even asked me what was going on, you just-“ he got cut off again. “I left! I fucking left because I have no business being with a manwhore who can’t keep his dick in his beer-printed dollar tree boxers!”
Logan softly pulled y/n off of the tree and slamming her back to shut her up. “God, y/n, what the fuck — You-You can’t even let me get a sentence out without disrespecting or interrupting me,” he said. “I thought you loved those boxers,”
Y/n chuckled to herself as a tear finally slipped from her eye. “I did — That was before you decided to throw that all away,” the way she looked at him with no type of love in her eyes, broke his heart. And she had her story all wrong.
“If I wasn’t enough, why couldn’t you just tell me? Let me go and let me live my life instead of thinking someone actually loved me. Y-You say you’re not like any human I’ve dated, but you’re are. You’re like them all,”
“Hey!” Logan’s hands gripped around y/n’s neck, upset at her words. “Don’t fuckin’ disrespect me like that — Especially since you got your story all flipped and fucked up,” the man still had cracks in his voice. He was left for a year, all because of caring for y/n.
“I wasn’t fucking cheating on you. Those secret missions were days I’d leave with Jean and Storm which I bet he forgot to mention because he didn’t know you’d react like that — to go find me and you a new home to live in,”
“For months I’ve been trying to find a nice house away from people because I know how much you like being alone. I just needed woman’s help because I suck when it comes to that shit,”
Y/n’s heart rate began to slow down, and her eyes softened at his side of the story. She couldn’t think about what she’d done and caused, but she knew it was bad when her head felt light.
“As for the picking Jean to go on missions? That was shitty of me, but my excuse is that I didn’t want my girlfriend fighting fights she didn’t have to,”
“What the fuck so I look like having you come fight mutants when you’re not a mutant? Jean is one of the strongest mutants, so I chose her. Storm has to teach the kids, Hank never leaves the lab, and god knows Ian pickin’ Scott,”
“And y/n — You’re a teacher too, so why the fuck would I pull you away from what you love doing just to fight and risk your life? I rather thee others do that, then you, Bub,”
Y/n hasn’t heard that nickname in a year. Bub. She missed and, and he knew how much he missed it when she instantly began crying.
“Hey, hey,” Logan lifted the girl back to her feet after her legs gave out on her. “I’m sorry!” She cried out, fully knowing the situation, and understanding how shitty she is for leaving without asking.
“I-I thought I was helping myself, but I wasn’t! I-I hurt you and the others a-and I’m just a bad person!” She sobbed into his chest.
“Baby, no. Don’t think that way about yourself. I understand how you thought about what you did, baby. Don’t push yourself down for that,” the man pulled her head back and rubbed her tears away.
“Just make it up by staying. All that pain I felt of you ignoring me and being away from my arms are all gone away, you know why? Because you’re here right now. In front of my face looking as beautiful as you were last year,”
“I’m just so sorry, Logan,” Y/n looked down, but the man quickly lifted her chin back up. “Nah uh — we’re not feeling like this anymore. I have a lot to make up for,” the man rubbed the girl's bottom lip, happy that she was finally with him again.
“Gonna look back into those homes, and get ‘em ready for us, baby,” Logan used his free hand to trace down her body until he gripped her waist. “And then you’ll never be able to leave me again. Gonna be just us. No one else,”
Logan's lips finally touched hers, making his heart rate rise. It’s been so long, and his lips are finally back on his girl. His future.
Y/n lazily kissed back, tears still running down her cheek. The girl pulled back a few times to catch her breath, but Logan would instantly reattach their lips. He needed to taste her forever.
“C’mon, stop movin, baby,” Logan hungrily sucked on her lips, even slipping his tongue in her mouth to feel her inner cheeks. “Please, baby,” the man spoke, but y/n couldn’t grow that instant energy. She was still human.
“Baby,” Logan pulled back and looked down at his girlfriend. “Don’t fuckin’ make me wait any longer. I need you, so please fuckin’ stay still,” he demanded before leaning to go back in, but she stopped him by placing her hands on his chest.
“Give me a second, babe — Please,” she looked up at the man, but he couldn’t. “You didn’t give Scott a second,” the man said in a stern voice. “What!? — Baby, I’ve never kissed him,” she assured.
“Well, you were close. Too close, and you know how I feel about him,” Logan’s hands gripped both sides of y/n’s waist, digging his nails into the pretty little dress she wore for the night.
“You were mad at me and went straight to Scott. You fuckin’ knew that would piss me off,” y/n pushed at her taken-back boyfriend, trying to get his grip to loosen, but it never did.
“Yeah, I’ve been sad, baby. So fuckin’ sad, but the only thing I could think about was showing you who the fuck you talked to that night,” the man thought back to the day she left him.
“I heard them talk about being in touch with you — Every day y/n? Really? Textin’ that son of a bitch every day, but can’t shoot me a lil like on my message!?” Logan finally pulled his hands off of y/n’s waist, taking her dress with him.
“Logan!” The girl shouted in shock as she held the breeze on her. “Got me so fuckin’ angry, Bub. I can’t control it. Can’t get out of my head the days you’ve been away from me. The days you text him, and not me,” Logan had sniffed y/n’s neck.
“At least I don’t smell a new man on you. You know what I would’ve done if I did, baby?” The man asked, lips pressed against the girl's neck. “The same shit I’m about to do to you for humping Scott,”
Logan quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled his thick blue jeans down. Y/n opened her mouth to calm the man down, but she didn’t want to. She deserved this. He needed to get his anger out.
Y/n went to jump, but before she did, the man pulled her up himself, quickly pulling her down on his cock until every inch of him was covered.
“L-Lo!” The girl moaned loudly as her feet curled. “Augh, yes!Still fuckin’ tight,” Logan pressed y/n further into the tree as he bucked his hips upward, making sure to bruise her cervix.
The growls he let out on her ear and on her neck, made her heart raise. It was hot, but she was slightly afraid. He was going to break up, but there was nothing she could do about it. She deserved this.
“Don’t ever fuckin’ leave me again. Pretty little sluts like you are in men’s minds all the time. You need me around. Need me to keep you safe and away from them. Even Scott! — If I ever fuckin’ catch you guys eye fuckin’ again — I’ll fuck you in front of him. Make sure he knows how good this pussy’s molded for my cock,”
Logan’s sad emotions were no longer here. The man was full of anger. His girl left him over some stupid-ass miss understanding and then she almost left again after having a sweet ole dance with Scott. Oh — he wasn’t letting this go soon. Not at all.
“I bet when you spoke to him before you left, you told him to come meet you in your room. Such a fuckin’ slut. I knew you had something for that four eyed freak,” Logan’s hips snapped up against y/n’s thighs. She could barely breathe.
“I-I did no such thing,” y/n struggled to get out. “Sure you didn’t. You know you’re a pretty little thing, right? You know you can get whoever you want, and I know you wanted him. I just know it,” Logan’s mind went crazy. The jealousy showed in the man, and he didn’t care.
Logan was nothing like y/n. She left when she thought he cheated, but Logan could never. He’d hold her closer. Lock her up somewhere so she can’t do it again, then kill the guy she cheated on him with. She belonged to him, and him only.
One of Logan’s hands reached up and gripped her neck as he looked into her eyes. His eyes were dark and hers were soft and could barely stay open.
“Ima take you back to your room, and if he knocks and comes in, the sight he’ll see will be buried into his mind just like my cock in that pretty little hole you haven’t let me fuck yet,”
That threat made y/n’s cunt clench. In the back of her mind, she had wished Scott would come to her room for something so Logan could fuck her ass. She was so wet, and that leaked down the crack of her ass, making her feel like she could take him so easily.
“P-Please,” the girl begged, making the man that was fucking her into the tree, chuckle. “Slut likes being fucked in the ass? Bet it’s a virgin ass, and you’re just a dirty little whore,” Logan guessed right.
“So fuckin’ dirty ��� Came back to ignore me, and now I’m balls deep in your pussy — My pussy — My fuckin’ pussy, baby,” Logan twitched in the grips walls, making her close. She hasn’t felt his seed in months. She needed it.
“S-Such a dirty w-whore, Logan,” y/n admitted in a low and whiny voice. All the crying and hate she had towards the man had faded away. She loved him and never stopped. She just needed a reminder that she could never leave him. Even if she tried, like she did.
“That’s it, baby — My dirty little whore — Fuck,” Logan used a hand to grab the side of her face and pull her into a rough and sloppy kiss. She’s always tasted so damn good.
Both of them moaned in each other's mouths, sweating, breathing heavily, and feeling their climax near. They needed to cum. They needed to few each other cum.
Before they knew it, the woods filled with their moans and groans. The wet sloppy sound of Logan’s cock slipping in and out of her heat could be heard as well.
Anyone who walked by in the distance definitely heard the two, but who cared at this point? All that would do is make Logan feel better because at least then they’d go off and tell people that she really does belong to him.
“Oh, fuck, baby,” the man growled, lips all over hers as he breathed into her mouth. “So fuckin’ full of me, Bub. All filled up and up to date,” the man chuckled with a smile. He missed it. He missed her.
“T-Thank you, baby,” Y/n said low, feeling her vision slowly slip away, but she knew she would be taken care of. She was with Logan again, and he would do anything to make sure she knew she was safe and set for life.
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thebearer · 1 year ago
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omg the part in that one blurb where reader makes a joke about being able to skip a meal and then carmy’s just like tf did you just say is so important to me as someone that has a long (and uneasy) history with body image and healthy eating habits
i was wondering if you had blurb/general thoughts/ideas on how carmy would react to the reader having a harder than usual time with body image for whatever reason
maybe they make one too many jokes or little comments about feeling insecure and carmy’s just not having it lol
carmen, with every ounce of love i have in my heart for him, would not be good with handling that. simply because he understands not liking yourself (like the idea of it, he can't fathom why you don't) but he grew up where food was kind of an act of love. he'd never hear an "i'm sorry" ever in his life, but his mom would very much so be the type to say "i have dinner ready for you" and that was as much as an apology as he'd get.
the first time you're kinda not eating, carmen's like trying to joke with you. "the food not good? don't like it?"
and you assure him that's not it. "i just... i'm not really hungry."
carmen's confused bc you've been together all day and you only had an iced coffee in the morning. "no way." he shook his head. "you haven't eaten all day. if you don't like it, baby, it won't hurt my feelings, i promise. nothin' you can say that a chef in new york didn't say, they said worse too. just tell me what you want and-"
"-carmen, it's ok. it's really good, i'm just not really hungry." you smile. "i need to not eat today anyways. my jeans are so tight-"
"-what?" carmen thinks you're joking at first, brows creasing with a small grin. until he sees your face. "you're-you're being serious?"
"well, kinda..." you mutter.
"that's... don't say that." carmen shook his head. "please, don't-don't do that, that's insane."
your face falls at his tone, you know he doesn't mean to be so hard about it, but you can't help but feel worse, like carmen's mad at you. in a way he is, but not out of anger, out of love. out of not wanting you to hurt yourself like that.
"i just... i feel gross, and i'm starting to look it-"
"- i think you look beautiful." carmen mutters. he sounds hurt, genuinely hurt by what you're saying, like you said them to him. "i don't... i don't like that you do that to yourself." he admitted after a moment. he'd been going to therapy, working on channeling his emotions out when he felt them instead of bottling them in, leading him to an anxiety attack.
"i'm sorry." you whisper, unsure of what else to say.
"no, it's not... i don't want you to apologize or- or feel bad, i just... i felt like i should say it." carmen's eyes lifted to yours. "that you don't need to do that."
you can't help the way your chest rushes with heat, anxiously picking up the spoon in front of you. you're not sure what to say, most of the time, most guys kinda brush it off. act like it's nothing or ignore it- some agreeing. no one ever got... hurt by it like this. like you were hurting them too.
maybe it was the guilt. maybe it was the fact that carmen looked so sad. whatever it was, you weren't sure, but you were fucking hungry- and the pasta was good.
you hesitantly took a bite, ignoring carmen's eyes tracking you. "it is really good." you hum, trying to break the obvious tension in the room.
"you don't have to eat it, i-i don't want you to feel pressured to." carmen shook his head. "but i'll make you something else? could i make you something else? whatever you want."
you blushed, looking down. you knew what he meant. he was trying to help in the only way he knew how to, by cooking. "carmen-" you sigh.
"no, it's... it's not good to not eat, ya know?" carmen looked up at you. "you have to eat but-but if you don't want pasta, i get it. i'll make you whatever if that's what you want." he looked at you pointedly. "but don't ever think you need to do anything like that f'me. i think you're perfect no matter what. love you no matter what. you know that, told you i'd still love you even if you were a worm."
you snorted lightly, his reference to the tiktok trend you'd done on him a while ago. "thanks, bear." you mutter, grabbing his hand lightly. "i-i would like, if it's not too much and you have all the stuff, that greek goddess salad sydney was testing the other day? i've been craving it."
"heard." carmen nodded, standing towards the fridge.
"if it's not too much trouble-"
"-c'mon." carmen scoffed, looking at you sweetly. "it'll take me fifteen minutes max. sit down f'me, alright. i got it."
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court-jobi · 2 months ago
Text
Tuning Out, Tuning In
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((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's characters or this art))
Pairing: Bakugou x reader (biker!pro hero, some afab pronouns used)
Words: 5.1K
Rating: T+ (language, bc obviously)
Warnings: Pro-Hero Bakugo/Pro-Hero Reader, cursing as a love language, insecurities, arguing, use of hearing aids (not an expert!), light hurt/comfort, she falls first-he falls harder
Summary:
So he's got context clues down. Smart, but not convincing enough. He's still not hearing you- because he can't.  You check on your Katsuki after an unannounced leave of absence, only to discover the true reason why is the source of a mighty insecurity of his that he's expertly kept you out of the loop of till now. He's defensive and mean- uncharacteristically so, towards you when you find out. It's heart-wrenching when he realizes he's snapped at you, and gutting when you love him through it.
A/N: *Can be read as a follow-up in the 'Backpack Privileges' universe, but not necessarily a series. Just how I envision these babies evolving~
For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!
Read on AO3
News from the girls at the scheduling counter is  that Dynamight was actually putting in PTO for the first time this calendar year.
Sure he’s worked hard, but when doesn’t he? It wasn't like he expended so much energy from his last rescue call that he was too tired or anything when you’d last seen him… so the time off request surprised you. Katsuki Bakugou never took time off, even when he’s congested to the point of sounding like a wounded seagull and hacking up a lung.
You called to check on him the first day he was out, but it went unanswered; he texted back instead that he was in the middle of eating and asked what you needed. You told him to rest up, and he proceeded to spam you with the same angry animal memes as always. 
At the office, things were at a surprising lull by the end of the week, with Kirishima on your right on the sofa scrolling through some mods Hatsume had for him to review. Meanwhile, you took the rather unprofessional route and scrolled on your phone. Your retort to Kiri’s tutting over the bad habit was that you knew the higher ups were off with Jeanist at some press junket, and you could risk it. Called you a naughty thing, how Bakugou was rubbing off on you. You’re sure even at your hangriest you’re not that prickly. 
An instinct, you try calling Bakugou again, this time on speakerphone. It’s been a whole workweek, after all. It rings twice, then straight to voicemail. You end the call before recording anything, and fuss at the phone in your hand. 
“Ok, Kiri? This is weird.”
“Hm? What is?”
“He’s never answering,” you lock the phone habitually, “-and I mean never. No ‘hi’, no ‘whaddya want’; did he lose his voice or something?”
Kirishima finally breaks focus to look at you, questioning, “Bakubro?”
“Yeah, he hasn’t– not that I’m trying every day or anything, but it’s been almost a week of nothing and-” 
-your phone dings: one new preview of a message from ‘Backpack’ lights your lockscreen, and your frustration ramps up to 60.
“-Then he freakin’ texts– like two seconds later!! What the actual hell is going on with him?!”
Kirishima just snorts.
“Maybe he’s taking a dump~”
“He would not text me on the toilet.”
“All men do it.”
“KIRI.” you swat his foot off the couch that’s laid out towards you, crossing yours while he cackles behind his ipad’s screen.
“Oh cmon, he’s fine! He’s just taking a breather~” Kirishima presses you with an assuring look you’re inclined to buy, because his delivery is just that sweet, “Doesn’t really take time off much anymore, so if he did, he probably needs it. Been doing a lot of those muscle contracts, which pays well! But it’s no joke how much it takes out of you– Kamui wants him, Rocklock wants him-”
You do worry about the workload Bakugou is  under given all the names Kirishima rattles off, but your boy’s assured you it’s all part of his drive. That, and he says Bakugou’s saving up for something important for work, but doesn’t disclose more than that.
You don’t press when Bakugou puts up a wall– knowing full well he tells you things when he’s ready.  Till now, he’s not given an indication that he doesn't distrust you with anything- not even his life. You have each other’s backs, and that’s an honor that you value and reciprocate. Perhaps it’s by that faith in one another that you should grant him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe one of these days under another starry sky from the back of your bike, he may share his whats and hows and whys to that sweet spot behind your ear, disguising his secrets with yet another kiss he saves for when you’re alone.
But this silence is really throwing you a curveball. Katsuki’s voice is just one of the many things you’ve come to adore about him. When you confessed that little thought to him, he turned a soft answer -a promise- that he’d answer when you called, day or night. It’s a gruff, punchy sound when you hear it over coms, or even through your shared helmets; but it’s also rumbling, constant, soothing when you hear it fitted against your ear. 
You never thought you��d even miss Dynamight’s passive aggressive screaming so much– until you don’t have any echo of him in your head at all.
“-or yknow if it’s not his schedule, it’s his body that’s about to quit on him. He’s probably giving his ears a break, if I had to guess!”
“...His ears.”
Kirishima looks up at you again, like his point was obvious, “Yeah. He can’t wear ‘em all the time– they’ve gotta charge, and if he’s sweat them out of their normal place, they pinch-”
Realization forces you to sit up straight, “Katsuki wears hearing aids?”
“Well he has to, with his quirk!” Kirishima tickled himself explaining so, “Kats probably blew out his inner ear in middle school, and it’s only gotten worse the harder he’s trained. He got fitted for new ones sometime last winter which he says are more comfortable than the last ones, but I dunno-” Kirishima cracked his neck in a roll, “I think he keeps' em in too long; and they drive him batty after a while.”
You didn’t like the sound of that. 
Down at your phone, you read the text message fully:
Backpack: Knee deep in dishes. What’s up pretty girl.
You decide to answer,
//Waiting on a call for a pickup, just keeping the couch warm~  Up for a call real quick?
‘Backpack’ takes a minute this time. You reason maybe he’s using speech to text given the perfect grammar.
Backpack: Can’t right now.
// Podcast instead? ((eyes emoji))
Backpack: Pass.
//Kiri misses you… ((sad eyes))
Backpack: No he fucking doesn’t. 
Backpack: Throw him a bone or try some fetch, he’ll be fine.
You don’t even laugh at the image with how much he’s deflecting talking to you. Laying back, your concern must be palpable because Kiri nudges you with his foot, and you stare at its buckles; anything from looking at his face.
“He never turns down food.”
“What d’you mean.”
“I mean, he’ll need to eat~” Kirishima’s never ending support coats his words. “-and I’d be shocked if he’d  turn his Darling DoorDasher down.”
You snorted, “Hush, you.”
Kirishima knew full well about you two- he’s not blind. He knows about dates one, two, well- every date, whether from Bakubro's lips or your own. But while it doesn’t feel new and raw… it feels tender and personal, what you share with your hero off the field– and you don’t want the bubble to burst between you and Katsuki. Not just yet.
-which is why, despite your firm concern deep in your gut reminding you of your plans throughout your shift,  you are nervous for your first time going to his apartment, unannounced. 
You knock four times, then back away to the near side of the door so it doesn’t hit you when it opens. A lull of ‘nothing’ hung in the air.. 
You reconsidered,  suspicion making you  bite your cheek: what if he can’t hear you?
You knock four more times, a bit louder. You’re cringing as you come back to your lean. Shuffling, you do indeed look like a food delivery service- an insistent-looking one, to the couple passing by on the ground floor who look up at you and likely wonder why you don’t just call this a ‘contactless delivery’ and jog on.. 
“Cmon, Kats…” you bemoan before steeling your nerves. You try just three more times, channeling your inner ‘Dynamight’ yourself and banging at a level that would take it off its hinges before cringing away to your waiting spot. 
Bakugou’s neighbor pops his head out of the door opposite you this time– nailing you with a reproachful look. Apologies mouthed, you smile demurely as the sound of a very aware Bakugou approaches now.
“I’M COMING, DAMMIT!”
The neighbor -perhaps wisely- shuts his door as he hears the door about to be unlocked. The way his eyebrows fly up, you infer that he does little to ever cross his hotheaded neighbor.
“ALRIGHT ALREADY- WHAT?!”
He's gorgeous, still. Pissy and caught off his guard, and donned headphones around his neck. But Bakugou double-takes to you with a frozen mouth, watching you push off the siding seemingly unaffected by his outburst and smiling casually.
“Hiya~”
His jaw flexes, but he forces his snarl away. Clearly conflicted at your presence, he pinched his brow.
"Said you were workin’ today. What’re you doing."
"I was in the neighborhood. Brought you a bowl~" you bribed the man's heart with the top way you knew how: a white and red ‘thank you’-covered baggie with the jackpot inside..
He likes kamameshi so he doesn’t hafta chew a ton. If his ear n’ jaw are tired, the softer the better. You can't go wrong with a nice bowl o’comfort…  Not like it’d last long with that guy’s appetite on a good day, anyways! Hah!
Hardly one to refuse you (just as Kirishima lovingly predicted), Bakugou stepped aside to let you in, granting you a gentle stroke on your back as you passed him..
Inside, you trade giving him the bag with his offering of your choice in houseshoes. On the far side of the room, the TV is on, including a scroll of subtitles. You look about and the place is spotless- he wasn’t lying about the rage cleaning.
"In the neighborhood, huh?" Bakugou called to you, dishing out the box of takeout while watching you get settled in.
You already said so, but made sure to face him as you speak- eyes all on you. You think that making a sweet delivery is reason enough for your presence here,
"Yeah~ the office drew a short straw on the menu this week, so I’ve been eating out more~ still don’t know how you can mess up potatoes, but sure enough, Feefee’s found a way~" you smile, coming up to his side with a little lilt in your step.
-but Bakugou just drones back,
"Overdue on our lunches, aren’t we sweets. We'll go do something this weekend."
Oh boy. You’re really bad off. A diss at the agency kitchen staff would never go unnoticed by the resident lunch snob, you think to yourself. You may not have lightning fast quips like Kaminari, but c'mon, that was a little funny…
Any other time that Bakugou would willingly suggest a date would thrill you. Maybe he’s even aware that he’s been avoiding you, and is trying to make up for it by suggesting a couple places offhand. But knowing the real reason behind the aversion, it doesn’t warm you the way it always does. 
His answer was typical and wasn't really related to what you asked at all, so you watch him take some bites and try again.
You trailed over to his dining kitchenette, taking a seat before him, tone lovely and appropriate for the distance between you. 
“You should have seen Kiri’s attempt to make my coffee order. Almost put a pump of salmon oil in instead of simple syrup! But hey, that just means job security for you, yeah? You’re so much better at it.”
You make eyes at the tv behind you as you speak- a test. 
He catches your intentional look, but he twists in his seat to glance. Then, focuses back on you and not making a mess of his dish, “Yeah, you can change it if you want.”
So he's got context clues down. Smart, but not convincing enough. Still not hearing. 
You try once more, sass tinting your voice as if you were teasing him privately.
"We adopted a purple hippo as an office pet~"
"Mhm," Bakugou picked up on the attitude, pausing and coming to your side with a bit of a swagger he hopes looks natural, "Sure been a crazy week. Missed a lot. We’ll get back to normal soon, yeah? Cmon, let's go watch somethin’."
Your hands fall to your thighs in a resigned slap. Sighing, you look to him desperately, urging him with more enunciation. 
"This is bad, Katsuki."
"What's so bad." Bakugou reads your lips and deflects.
You tap your ear with a sympathetic look.
– his demeanor changes. Horribly.
Bakugou steps away in almost disbelief, edgy and firm: a rolling boil starts to simmer behind his eyes. Turning aside, he huffs. Guilty. 
He turns tail to the kitchen, cursing under his breath to ‘give him a second.’ Bakugou pushes his stacks of cleaned dishes aside, making a clash of noise even you flinch at. It’s evident the sound doesn’t phase him. 
"No, you don't have to put them-"
"I can't fucking HEAR YOU, woman; give me a DAMN SECOND!!"
Coming around the island after him, you see he’s trying to get at the charging dock on the backside of his butcher block.
Watching him fiddle with just his right ear, he turns back and faces you prickly as ever, with arms crossed and barely attempting to rein in his anger.
You are sure now you've struck a nerve if he's acting like this around you. You tread carefully,
"I'm not here to just yap your head off, or commandeer your days off. I… was just concerned."
"About what? I'm fine."
"It's been five days,” you stress gently, “you didn't think I would think it’s weird if you didn’t answer once?"
"I answered you back every time," Bakugou raised his voice a tick, "Every text– never left you on read, cuz I know that feels shitty!"
"I know you did," you give him credit, "But it's– different when we talk, and you know that difference. It's just that you always call back. It just hasn’t felt normal -for you- is all. And I didn’t know there was going to be a reason like this that’s why."
"Well it's not like I could hear the phone ring anyway, so fuck me for that. How the hell’d you find out anyway."
"...I didn't know until Kirishima said something. I was telling him I-"
"Of course it fucking was,” Bakugou huffed again, “Well, it's none of his business, it’s not his problem, and he should kept his DAMN mouth shut."
To trash Kirishima like this -hotheaded and bitter- definitely feels more like an attack than he'd ever mean on a good day. Kiri is his best friend, and clearly close enough to have been there at the first fitting and have a picture perfect memory of it because it mattered so much to his buddy to be there for him. To not let it define him.
You can't pretend to know how sensitive of a subject this is, based on how confident Bakugou is with everything in life: even the litany of scars he wears outlining his hero work aren't off limits to discussion. But his answers come armed with cached ammo and heat.
You certainly don't think yourself entitled to everything about him, but you see now that he clearly hadn’t planned to tell you about his wearing hearing aids, or at least hadn’t intended for you find out this way… so someone had to take the brunt of his ire. You think to be grateful he doesn’t appear ready to snap at you, but you feel so much on the outside, it hurts to watch him sizzle. 
You try to take the pressure off the leak of the news, "Where's this coming from, hon?"
Bakugou grunts, looking back to you with a raised brow. 
You gestured between you just to talk with your hands a little, "Where  is  this  coming-"
"HELL IF I KNOW!” Bakugou shouts back, “It just IS. I just wanted- it-- Look, just fuckin’ drop it, ok? I will. be back. tomorrow. And everything’ll be like it was before you knew a damn thing, ALRIGHT??"
He's defensive and mean now; the pitch he never aimed at you before now entered the ring.
This was a line you were damned sure not to let any man cross.
"Ok, we're gonna try that again,” you spoke plain as day.
"Try WHAT again??"
"Discussing, not fighting." You stood firm at his counter. You will not be taking up a screaming match under any circumstances, and have to make that clear. "Coming up with an answer -together- because that's what we do when our backs are up against the wall... Not bite the hand that's trying to help. ‘Hit the problem, not the player’."
The words resonate with Bakugou, having been the one who shot that reminder to you not a week ago from his own mouth, and everything in that face full of fire wants to rear back– 
"-and before you say ANYTHING else... You will. not. talk to me like that."
You hear the hero’s palms sizzle, and see by the look of hatred he glares at them with that he clearly hates the feel. 
Bakugou lets out a growl then goes silent, obeying. He takes a little pace around, finally settling at the tall, bar-height stool, rubs his palms compulsively at his thighs as a reset, and pulls at his head until it lays dejected in those explosive hands propped up on his knees.
Your invitation to stand by him opens when he lifts his head and scowls behind tented fingers. Kindly, you make sure to stand closer to his right to give him the best chance of catching your words.
"Y'know I'm the last one who's ever gonna give you a hard time for this, don’t you?"
Bakugou doesn't answer, but you know he's listening.
"It's hard for me to take time off work too, I don't do it as much as I should. I know it's hard to leave work at work, and you did that on your own, in order to take care of yourself. You know your limits and that’s keeping you alive. That was really wise."
You see a little bob of the head by the slight jostle of his hair.
What bothers you here and now isn’t just selfish thoughts of ‘why didn’t he tell me’, but ‘why didn’t he tell anyone’? It’s clear by what you’ve learned that next to no one knows of his condition. That small aspect of this gives you a little comfort, but opens up a bigger dose of worry. Hearing impairment might be perceived by a bystander as a defect or weakness, but for the old friends and medical experts who surely surround him, you’d feel confident in Bakugou’s care to know he’d surely not think of himself that way. 
Surely not… surely not?
“But the thing is, if it's coming down to you hurting and needing help- or just, getting time away if that's what you really want, I can totally get that. But  between you and I? We've gotta figure out how you really feel about this, because it’s eating at you. Affects everything you do at some point, right? Can't have you working yourself to the bone here, overworking your senses out there, feeling like you can’t speak for days on end, setting things off, either. Even accidentally."
You swipe along his shoulder and arm sweetly, just for a little connection.
“I… I really do care about you, Katsuki. I don't want you to feel you have to manage it all on your own.  I want to be someone you can have in your back pocket for help- even with something like this.”
A ‘ride or die’ offer if there ever was one.
Bakugou looks in the direction of your hand. The smooth, unscarred hand you sport is so different from his own. Proof of the softness he lost a long time ago, his sunken eyes tell you. He blinks, and it’s a pensive, sad sight. 
 "M'sorry." 
The hoarseness in that proud voice fell hollow.
To anyone else, it may sound apathetic and half-assed, but Bakugou held so much ‘punch’ in his daily speech that you realized this apology featured the even breath of emotion. Restraint. His control. His gentleness.
“You can't help how your body works, Kats. You don't have to apologize for what's happening naturally. This is... just a side effect, unfortunately.”
“T’snot that,” he said limply.
A second attempt to finish for him, you try again studying the takeout boxes left open. “I.. get you not telling me, too. It’s not my business either.”
Bakugou shakes his head, with a dismissive jerk of the head altogether. Instead he lifts up, miserably.
"I don't talk to you that way."
Through a brief silent showdown, you accept his apology. As rough as he is even with his own mother, Bakugou has framed a different ring for you two to dance in, and harshness doesn’t belong in it.
"You don’t,” the agreement is established, “that's how I knew something's out of whack. Plus, I mean.. if you can’t pick up background noise, it must be hard trying to match volume in a space, right?"
Bakugou’s hoarseness fails him, falling to which air, "That's a shit poor excuse. You were right. I know the difference." 
Meekly reaching for hip, the man sniffles: pulling you the rest of the way between his bent legs. 
You step in and he crumbles into your core, strong hands encircling your hips. 
"I'm sorry," he swears.
"It's ok..."
Bakugou squeezes you in, "It's not. Ok. You should have slapped me for that shit.”
“I’m not doing that, either,” you get weary hearing how the guys rough each other up. You’re certainly not applying the same tactics to him of all people.
“Well, it’s inexcusable. I respect you more than to do that. Know better.”
"I forgive you, then."
"You shouldn't, so easily.”
Chin jutted on his still-bowed head, your answer comes simply but openly:
"...That's commonly called love, Katsuki. I love you. That’s what I do."
He's silent and frozen. The only sign of life is that he is -in fact- breathing still.
You said these, the magic words, in record time for anyone you've held affection for... and you didn't care. You loved Katsuki. Loved all of him. Even the prickly bits that threatened to square up at you like  a bull. 
Friendship was an surprisingly easy test for you two.
Partnership, battle-proven in the public sphere. 
But this is the final straw that you’ve been keeping safe and special. Telling Katsuki you loved him would push things to a deeper level than you felt the term ‘boyfriend’ afforded you both at thirty years old. In loving him, and no one else, you just wanted to call him ‘yours’ already and be done with searching for the One.
Since he doesn’t speak, you busy yourself elsewhere. He may not answer nearly as quickly as you given how on-the-spot he mulls in currently… but he hasn’t let go of you, which is a good sign. Good enough for you.
Your mind veers a bit in the quiet. You think to yourself about what feels nicest when you've had your helmet on too long; athletes deal with it, racers deal with it.. Anyone who wears a support item with internal padding giving cushion around the head is bound to force unnatural pressure on every angle for the sake of protection. 
On you, this tension lies just behind the ears. 
To soothe it, you’d usually draw a sun: a half circle design, zigzagging up and down with your fingertips, creating lines of relief along the tender sides of your head. It's to help the blood flow, and the scratches crackle nicely to the ear canal. Acts as white noise to the senses which is often a welcome change to the low thrum of a headache or grating road noise.
So with careful fingers, a mind set on comfort and a heartful of soft love for this man, you draw twin suns deep within Katsuki's hair.
…within seconds, he wept.
Bakugou softly cries and he holds you close. He turns in his seat, pulling you to fit even tighter between his knees with no gap of room between you.
When he can regulate his breaths down to calm blows from his lips, he shares more what's on his mind, down the space between you.
"...that feels really good."
"I hoped so~. So your head bothers you too, after a while. Having them in all the time?"
He turns his head finally to rest on one side, the functionally deaf side leaning into your chest... listening out for a heartbeat it seems.
“N’it’s all inside, so it’s hard to touch it unless I pump myself full of horsepills… makes m’stomach hurt."
From head to toe, he’s being honest about what this means for him. "The thing that’s meant to help, hurts? I’m sorry, hon."
He's still swallowing back his emotions, so you don't press for what he wants to say when it's clear he's focused on getting good rhythm back.
"My arm gets numb sometimes, too."
You're surprised at this, as more pieces fit together you didn’t know were necessarily missing, "-Yeah?"
"It's somethin' in the tendons. Can fight fine, but small moves are weird. I can't pick up a fucking piece of paper right. N'holding my phone hurts some days."
With a kiss to his hair, you see the teed-up ‘in’ to make him laugh,
"Well, who're you gonna be texting anyway, now that I won't be blowing up your phone?"
He tuffs. Joking aside, you hugged you close. “Gotta to back to that dumbass doctor, don't I."
"They can check your nerve endings with a scan. See if there's a reason for it."
Bakugou accepts this and continues his baring of his heart. He mentions old pains, some new ones, even some random details about which oscillating fans he likes on or off because of how warm he runs. Some of it relates to his work, some not, but you take it all in. Each little snippet he offers up reminds you of penguin pebbling. 
Satisfaction rang through you with the news that caused the biggest physical response in him: he confessed after all that he hadn’t wanted to ignore you at all, and it shows.
His hands massage at you– never getting enough.
“V’missed your voice too,” Bakugou’s voice finally seeps back in- that low, growly rumble of the chest you wanted to play on loop, “But I know I needed that break. I wanted 'em out, just for a little while. Even if I didn’t want to miss the good that comes from keepin’ em in.”
“That’s fine to want. Anytime you need.”
Bakugou turns exploratory with his hand. With the one not locked around your waist keeping you to him, he gives long scritches across your back, up front to hold your side- rooting him. 
“N’for the record, not everyone knows. It’s probably in a record somewhere, so it’s not really been taboo or anything. No one’s ever banned me from fighting; not yet at least. It’s not a secret. But… s’been so long, I’ve… never had to explain them to anyone. Sure as shit don't tell the public.”
Tender fingers seek out the soft inner side of your wrist, just a small touch.
“But you…I didn’t know how to open that up. Seems like a random ass thing to drop on you.”
You understand, and think it sweet that he at least had contemplated telling you at some point– but now, you could only look to his future and knew this would only help you moving forward.
"Nothing’s random if it’s important to you. So head scratches are a yes. Fast food is a yes, keeps you out of the stores. Anything else I should keep in mind to help?"
Bakugou thinks, but just holds onto you with a little nuzzle, "Not now. Yer doin’ it."
Happy and soft, you smile, "Okey~"
After a minute, he's matched your breathing, and you only move when he lifts his head to chin up at you from his spot. You smile expectantly seeing him less harsh around the edges and looking at you on the softer side of pitiful. Like he's looking to you for the solution-- neck bared and showing a rare vulnerability.
"You're my hero, Kats," you dote on him. Hands through his hair, scritching at the base, "y'know that right?"
"Damn right."
"And you aren't anywhere near throwing in the towel over this."
His smirk returned, "Damn right."
Bakugou’s neck received more soothing treatment again– making his eyes flutter, 
"Because my Lord Explosion has way too many baddies left to murder before he allows anyone get to his getaway driver, right?"
Finally showing signs of his spark back, Bakugou growls his pleasure. 
"Y'talking about murder does things to a man, baby."
"Thought it might... I mean every word though. You take such good care of me, Kats. Let me do the same for you sometimes, ok?"
"... Yeah alright," he finally caves easily with tepid palms smoothing over the back of your thighs. Still keeping you close, forehead falling to rest against you, you feel finally content that your presence has helped him. 
All your one-sided concerns now settled, you feel glad that your update to Kirishima later will share that Bakugou’s okay– and will likely add in a fair heads-up that he might still be pissy with him come Monday.
After some cursory scratches across his shoulders, you remember to hold out a hand by his eye level. Bakugou hums when he notices it, and raises his hand to hold yours-- only for you to dodge it, and keep it open.
Let me have it, silly.
After checking ‘what on earth you were getting at’, he tilts to see your fingers open again. The blond head of hair at your chest sighs, decides, then takes the lone hearing aid out and returns it into your open palm. With careful depositing, you set it on the counter behind you with the note-to-self to put it back with its mate– and return your hands to yours.
Bakugou centered himself by breathing you in. Once he had you snug in his arms again, he pressed a firm kiss through your shirt, hoping you felt everything he couldn’t say behind a tight throat. 
You thought it silly, but with him resting fairly tame right on your chest, you thought you'd try a little enrichment for him:
That stupid song from the pop-up takeaway truck was still stuck in your head, so you started humming it to him. 
With how high you stood above him doling out scritches to his temple, you missed how his eyes opened for a flash in recognition of today’s current brainrot love ballad; but you didn't miss how he pressed in closer to you and really listened.
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starkura · 3 months ago
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them giving you flowers for no reason and you think they did something wrong idk my brain js came up w this
only did mikey, baji, and mitsuya bc i kinda gave up 😭
mikey
in front of you was mikey. he was holding a bright and colorful bouquet of flowers. there was no occasion for you to receive flowers from him. “did you do something wrong?” you questioned. mikey only gave you flowers on special occasions. he didn’t usually give you flowers out of the blue. maybe if he did something wrong, he’d give you flowers. “why are you asking that? im giving you flowers.” he said. “well, today’s isn’t any special day, so that only leaves me to think you did something.” you explained. he rolls his eyes at you playfully. “hey, i’m not always trouble!” he exclaimed. he took your hands and place the flowers in them. “take them before i change my mind.” he told you. you laugh at him lightly. he crosses his arms and looks at you. “you know I don’t need a reason to give you flowers, right?” he said. he sighed and rolled his eyes once more. “okay, okay. thank you for the flowers. i appreciate the thought mikey.” you smiled at him. “c’mon, let’s head home now.”
baji
“why are you giving me flowers?” you questioned. baji was at your front door holding out a bouquet of daisies. today wasn’t anything special, so you were curious as to why baji was randomly giving you flowers. “do i need a reason to?” he questioned. he gave you a confused look. did he really need a reason to give you flowers? “well, i don’t know. it’s kinda random. you didn’t do anything bad…did you?” you wonder. “pft! no! why would i? can’t i just give my wonderful partner some flowers just because?” he says. “you sure? you didn’t get into any fights or anything???” you say once more to make sure. “yes, i’m sure.” he said seemingly exhausted. you look at him once more to check that he’s telling the truth. by the looks of it, he seems to be truthful. “okay, okay, thank you for the random flowers kei.” you smiled. “finally, who wouldn’t love receiving flowers. why are you so skeptical?” he questioned. “well, why else would you give me flowers?” you said. baji sighed and looked at you. “you think so badly of me.” you laugh lightly and invite him inside.
mitsuya
“roses?” you asked. mitsuya turned to you. “for you.” he said. at first, you smiled warmly at him. however, your mind trailed off to your curiosity about the flowers. why did he give you flowers today? today was just a typical day, nothing special or unordinary. mitsuya never forgot to give you flowers on those special days like anniversaries or your birthday. this led you to think he did something wrong and you just don’t know about it yet. “mitsuya?” you called out. “yeah? what is it?” he replied. “why are you giving me flowers today? you didn’t do anything wrong… right?” you hesitate to ask. he looked at you blankly, and then lightly laughed at your question. “really? you think i got you flowers because i did something wrong? i would just tell you straight up if i did. i got the flowers for you because you seemed down lately. you sigh in relief. “sorry, i shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.” you laugh it off. “it’s okay. how are you doing now?” he asked. “i’m doing better now, school’s just been stressful that’s all. thank you for the flowers! i shouldve thanked you properly before.” you say. “that’s good to hear, take care of yourself and take breaks when you need it, okay?” he reminded. “yeah, i will don’t worry!” you reassured.
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onlyswan · 2 years ago
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summary: in which sour and salt could be so sweet when jungkook’s existence reminds you that there is still good in the world.
> fluff, a pinch of angst, suggestive / wc: 3.1k
> warnings: mention of the doctor bc oc missed their period >:(, allusion to s/x, making out, jungkook doing pull ups must be a warning for the faint hearted like me
note: we’re going through the seasons?! partly inspired by #that live and jungkook for calvin klein <3 we’ve all seen those pictures right… right… i hope the onlyswan prophecy continues with this drabble i need to see jungkook do pull ups at the beach <3 + reblogs & feedback are always appreciated :D
jungkook is a sunkissed daydream and a shirtless adonis. his tender hands are on your bare thighs, keeping himself steady on the light brown sand while you sit still and look pretty on a log.
“baby, are you pregnant?”
when a man spits out this question, it usually sounds a little bit something like an anxious and insensitive ‘you’re not pregnant, are you?’ your starry-eyed boyfriend is asking you in a calm tone, joking for the most part, yet genuine wonder is painted on his face as if you’re just supposed to tell him what day of the week it is.
you stare at him with a blank expression, silent for a moment as the fierce waves crash on the shore, finding it difficult to take him seriously. “i don’t know. did you break a condom?”
he breaks eye-contact to space out, pursing his lips as he pretends to be immersed in deep thought.
“uhh, not to my knowledge.”
“then i’m not.” you shrug your shoulders with a cheeky grin, scrunching your nose. “will you steal some mangoes for me now, please?”
“is my baby craving for them that bad?” he coos at you softly, inching closer to press a kiss on your lips. “no but why do you always ask me to steal mangoes for you?”
“what do you mean ‘always’? this is only the second time.” you scoff, offended by the accusation, shoving him lightly but he quickly takes a hold of your arms to save himself from falling.
he chuckles lightheartedly, recounting the first time you visited his hometown and you took a walk around his neighborhood together. you looked at the mango tree with so much longing, and he had so much love for you, it was untameable.
nothing much has changed.
except for the color of the mangoes, perhaps. they were yellow back then, ripe and soft. you ripped off the fragile skin with your bare hands as you devoured the nectar-filled fruit, and the both of you came home to his parents’ house sticky and satiated like little kids who played under the sun from noon to afternoon. today, they’re green and plump, and truthfully, his mouth is watering for a taste.
“you know, since the tree is directly infront of our villa-” he tilts his head to the side, briefly looking at your temporary private residence. “it’s technically ours, so it’s not stealing.”
your eyes are glitter with mischief, and they communicate without words before you burst into a fit of revitalizing giggles, filling your empty tummy with a childlike joy.
for a while before jungkook, you’d forgotten people are kind. you chose to live for yourself, and yourself only, because you thought that if you lose sight of your plans for the future because of a impetuous slip within the thrill of temptation, you would also lose the essence of your being that you’re actively fighting so hard to get a good grasp of. you’re in a never-ending, excruciating process of picking apart your identity; detaching yourself from what you learned in the past to make room for growth; and swallowing bitter pills of hard-taught lessons. but when you’re in a relationship, every decision goes through a filter, a need for an answer to the question of how would this make my partner feel?
your friends still ask from time to time, what it is about jungkook that made you bend this principle and compromise your plans when those were the reasons you impulsively ended relationships in the past.
you’d forgotten people are kind.
jungkook is messy. he always leaves behind a fragment of his heart, and you shake your head and you pick up each one to stuff it in the shallow pocket of your understanding of love… until the weight of them destroyed said pocket, and all of a sudden, you have awoken. he opened your eyes to the underlying implication of that filter, how having something sacred to protect is also what makes life more worth living after all.
more than two hours ago, at seven in the morning, he held back your hair while you emptied your guts in the toilet bowl. a week ago, he held your hand in the doctor’s waiting room and didn’t let go until your name was called. that same night, you sulked about the doctor concluding that the reason you didn’t get your period last month was stress again and he teared up when you said i eat well, and i exercise regularly. but in the end it’s all useless because stress is messing up my body and i can’t control it. what do i do? the next day, he cheerfully asked you if you wanted to go see the ocean with him. right now, he’s hanging on a thick branch of a tree, enthusiastically doing pull ups while you peel the raw mangoes he picked out for you.
the familiar sounds of moans and grunts convince you to move the log you’re sitting on, abandoning the view of the majestic blue sky kissing the sparkling ocean in favor of facing your gorgeous boyfriend. he moves on to doing hanging knee tucks, pulling his knees to his chest and gradually increasing his speed and range of motion after gathering enough leverage.
“ah, this is tiring!” his yell ripples across the near-empty beach. he squeezes his eyes shut, laughing through the pain that hurts so good.
you set aside the paring knife on the plain white porcelain plate, dipping a piece of mango in the hill of salt before taking a bite (you played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would call the front desk for salt and you won after jungkook said he lost because his rock was made of paper). this, it’s just what you needed to cure the lethargy that’s been eating away at you. the combination of sour and salty explodes in your taste buds, remedying your awful loss of taste and appetite.
you shudder in sheer delight, smiling sweetly at the man brazenly showcasing his strength infront of you. “i like this a lot. i can feel my stress melting away… like ice cream under the sun.”
“i’m happy you’re enjoying yourself while i-” he cuts off his sentence, letting himself fall on the sand before jumping again to adjust his grip on the rough wood. once again, he hauls his legs upward repeatedly, reaching higher and higher each time. he releases loud huffs of air, grunting raspily with every exertion of force.
you stifle a scandalous gasp when his knees touch his wrists, covering your mouth as you grind the food with your teeth. okay, you know damn well he is flexible and a human-shaped vessel of physical strength, but you mostly witness their irrefutable testaments during intense moments of love and lust… the blissful memories can be kind of hazy.
he heaves a deep sigh, taking a rest as he hangs motionless on the branch. picture-perfect, center-frame for your adoring eyes to feast upon. his honey skin is glazed with a fine sheen of sweat, further accentuating the well-defined muscles of his torso. you only get a tease of his v-line. it hides beneath the exposed white band of his calvin klein underwear peeking above his black swimming shorts. his stomach rises and falls with each breath, and you can’t help but to marvel at his abs with appreciation. beautifully prominent, sculpted not too much. you love that when you touch them, you still feel the tenderness of his flesh, so rawly and so uniquely jungkook.
“you like what you see?” he grins when your eyes meet, winking at you flirtatiously.
“i do.” you sheepishly admit, scrunching your nose before putting another slice of mango on top of your tongue. “keep going. i want to see more.”
“more? you want more?! aish- so demanding.” he complains, thick satoori accent dripping from his voice but still, he gives you more.
you giggle in satisfaction, closely observing the flexing of his muscles and the veins along his arms popping out. one must think you’re used to his tattoos by now, but you’re definitely not. you just learn how to act unaffected, like you can’t write a book of poems about how his body art never seizes to bring you in absolute awe. his eyebrows knit as he pulls himself up, face crumpling with the amount of force and strength he utilizes with every manuever. it’s a seductive scene, but then the dimples on his cheeks make fondness bloom in your heart.
for the love of god, it’s not compromising your plans, but making jungkook a part of your plans. you no longer fantasize about a perfect life. you just want to keep waking up somewhere safe— to be here, standing on the tips of your toes, planting a delicate kiss on the mole at the lower right side of his ribcage. your lips have made one too many sharp mistakes, but they ghost over his skin and he laughs. laughs so joyfully, a majestic string of musical notes from his mouth no other instrument on earth can recreate. it’s a good mistake, the best mistake you could ever possibly make.
“here, drink.“ you offer him a bottle of cold water.
“i’m so tired. oh, fuck-” he does one final pull up before letting go, deliberately falling on the sand and bumping against your feet when he rolls over.
he sits up, warm body vibrating with giggles as he looks up at you.
“did you pack a first aid kit?“
you put a hand over your hip, raising an eyebrow. “what happened now?”
“my hands-” he stares at his palms, sand coating half of the area, before showing them to you. “they sting like hell! seriously!” his little lisp slips out as he rants.
”then why did you keep going?!” you exclaim, grabbing his tattooed wrist to assess the damage. there’s no blood in sight, but his skin has turned a very bright shade of red.
“because it was fun.” he simply answers, and you can’t argue with that.
of course you brought a first aid kit. it’s a necessity, especially when you’re on vacation with your gym bunny boyfriend, apparently. while you grab the ointment in the bedroom, jungkook decides to clean himself up under the outdoor shower situated in a corner beside the swimming pool.
“what’s wrong with this? why are they going at the same time?” he scratches his head in confusion, looking up at the spraying shower head and down at the gushing faucet. he fiddles with the handle in hopes of fixing his problematic water consumption, unintentionally pushing it up higher as he does so. this causes the water pressure to become stronger, sending thin needles to crash down and pierce his fragile skin.
“aw shit-” he reflexively runs away from the rude attack of the silver device. “yah, you punk! what did i to you, huh?! how dare you-”
he clicks his tongue in irritation, resting his hands on his hips. after glaring one more time, he extends his tattooed arm to push the handle all the way down, turning it off. he proceeds to experiment, tilting it to the left, which turns on the faucet only, and then to the right for the shower.
he laughs sarcastically at his discovery, going back under the water. “ahhh, was i the stupid one?”
“i missed you!” he declares loudly as soon as you step out of the sliding door.
“me too, babe.” you hum as you walk towards him, standing a considerable distance from the shower.
he wipes his face with his hands to unblur his vision before pushing back his wet hair, droplets of water endlessly rushing down his body.
“why are you so far?” he protests. “come here.”
“but i already took a shower.”
“so what? you’ll get wet again when we ride the jet ski later.”
you pout at him. “i told you i’m scared.”
“i’d be jack if i have to, i won’t let you drown! don’t you trust your boyfriend, hm?” he attempts to persuade you again after failing last night, knowing well that you’d enjoy yourself only if you overcome your fear of the deep waters. “it will be fun, i promise.”
“ugh, fine. only because you promised.” you weakly succumb to his wishes, setting down the small jar of ointment on the ground.
he happily pulls you in for an embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck while your arms wrap around his waist. the only barrier between your chests is the thin and small fabric of your red bikini, thoroughly soaked by the cold water combatting the rising heat of the approaching noon. you can feel the rough grains of sand that were washed away from his skin under the soles of your feet, contrasting the feather-light kisses being scattered on your neck. and this feels so utterly liberating, you refuse for it to end, allowing yourself to be hastily pinned against the wall when his supple lips meet yours.
he cups the back of your head and his long and slender fingers dig into your hair, protecting you from accidentally hitting the hard cement. the small thoughtful gesture makes you smile into the kiss. he is not real, he can’t be. if this is a dream, you’re begging the sun to never rise. his gentle hands slowly travel down the expanse of your back, until they reach your hips, teasingly tugging past the side straps of your bikini bottoms before kneading the soft flesh of your ass. he swallows the strangled whine that escapes you, slipping his tongue past your parted lips. he’s addicted to how your body language speaks to him when you get intimate, how you lovingly caress his face and his arms, slow and sensual, but then unconsciously dig your nails to mark crescent moons on his skin when you begin getting lost in your combined passion.
he wants this. he wants you. he wants to spend the rest of his life kissing you and wringing the water from your hair.
you’ve deserted the log to comfortably sit cross-legged with jungkook on the lounge chair, under the shade of the brown umbrella rooted in the soil.
“mhmmm! it’s so delicious!” jungkook carefully dips the slice of mango in the salt once more, wary of the ointment from his hand smearing on the food, before muching on it eagerly. “so crunchy!”
you pause from tending to his left hand, looking at the plate between the two of you to learn that he is nearly finished with the second mango. you only have one left.
“damn!” he dramatically curses with his eyes squeezed shut, punching the salt air. without context, a stranger would probably guess that he tragically lost a bet or remembered an embarrassing memory from highschool. but really, he’s just enjoying some pretty good food. this is the fourth time in the past five minutes that he precisely did the same thing, and yes, you’ve been counting.
“is it that yummy?” you chuckle, extremely endeared and contented when he looks this excited around food. he is the only person in the world who can make you say i’m full just by watching you eat and mean it.
“it was your idea!” he bobs his head while energetically rocking from side to side, cheeks round and full as he chews. “i haven’t eaten something new in a long time. i love it… i should give the resort five stars for my review. just for this. i’ll say i’ll come back again for the mango tree.”
“or i don’t know, we can just plant one ourselves.” you propose before lightly blowing on his inflamed palm.
“but, baby, that would take years!” he interjects. “we need to buy another house, one with a backyard, and wait at least five years for it to grow. i’ll be thirty-two by then. are you hearing that?!”
the disgusted look on his face elicits a burst of amused laughter from you, stomach hurting with a reason miles better than earlier’s. he winces at the thought of entering his 30’s in the very near future. it feels odd to think about, but it’s a little less daunting with the tree added to the picture.
he picks up the final slice on the plate, smothering it with a thin layer of salt before devouring it entirely. he whimpers, high-pitched and wide-eyed, clasping his hand over his mouth before the other one you’re holding slips away from the solace of your care. he free falls from the chair, limply collapsing on the sand. and just like that, he’s covered in them again, from his damp hair down to his wiggly toes.
you move closer to look at him, dangling your legs on the edge. “darling, you’re still alive, aren’t you?”
he spreads out his limbs like a starfish, dreamily peering into the vast cloudy sky. “oh? i think this is exactly what it means to be alive.”
beyond his words, it’s the way he said them. without shyness, without qualms, without pondering. it makes him sound purely sincere, his mellifluous voice gracefully echoing louder than the nihilistic thoughts in your head, and you believe him.
he abruptly sits up, crawling on his knees to reach you. “baby! it’s too good! i want more!” he cries out, feigning desperate sobs as he hugs your legs. “i want more. let’s eat the third one, please.”
“fuck, okay. calm down. we’ll have it.” you cackle, stroking his hair while he rests his head on your lap.
you drag the plate to your side, slicing the last mango with practiced precision and skill. he, then, closes his eyes and bathes in your presence, his warm breath fanning you. it’s peacefully silent for a while, only the sounds of the knife dragging across the fruit and the waves chasing each other to the edge of the sea can be heard. that is until your boyfriend grows bored. he puckers his lips to brush against your soft skin, insatiable, climbing higher and higher until he’s peppering your inner thigh with kisses.
tingling sensations inevitably spark in your lower region, and you click your tongue to rebuke him. “jungkook, behave. i might cut myself if you keep that up.”
his lips curve into a naughty smirk, shifting a bit further down. “sorry.”
“do you want to get sunburnt? get back up here, on the chair.” you bounce your legs to shake him off, but your efforts prove to be fruitless.
he groans, stubbornly holding on to you tighter. “no, i don’t want to.”
taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D
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snowthedemonfox · 1 month ago
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my dumb episode 4 predictions lets go
it's the minimum wage episode
gangle gets to be the manager and thats why jax is gonna have an awful time (also this might be the one episode she gets to keep her comedy mask on for majority of the episode until something goes wrong)
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the "Huffing paint, and not waiting until a designated break?!" line IS from gangle and thats why i think she might be the manager for this adventure (some people in the replies of that post were saying the post at one point mentioned gangle as the one saying the line so im just gonna trust their word on this)
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there's a karen npc with a child (i think this would be the funniest option for where the "What kind of mother do you think I am?" line comes from)
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i think this thing vvvvv is meant to be the karen npcs kid (it looks like orbsman and i wouldnt be surprised if all the customer npcs look similar)
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this one is the least serious prediction on this list but if maid outfit jax was gonna happen in any episode i think it'd be this one (something like making a joke bc caine gave him the wrong type of uniform for a split second lmao)
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the reason the adventure is a fast food job is because someone said they wished the adventures were a bit more realistic to real life and caine took that seriously and made them all work minimum wage
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pomni sets something on fire
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theres a bit more discussion about the characters human lives, maybe talking about jobs they previously had? maybe pomni talks abt being an accountant
hopefully we get to see another characters room in the show cause i cant wait to see the full versions of gangle and zoobles rooms
okay this last prediction has an ep 3 spoiler in it so im putting it under the cut
zooble joins in on this adventure because they're the only one (that we know of so far) that is aware that caine doubting himself could be a bad thing so to avoid the circus glitching out again they participate in this adventure (and any future ones throughout the series)
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danothan · 1 month ago
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yoshikage kira headcanon list:
1. his finger-chewing tendencies existed even before he could form memories, so his mother bought him baby mitts to knock the habit early. the lack of grip led him to slip and fall often, which gave kiramom quite the scare, but seeing as the mittens were a necessary evil, she took it upon herself to do for him what he couldn’t. read into that what you will.
1.2. by the time it was no longer an appropriate age for him to wear baby mittens, he was still indulging the habit like nothing had changed at all. i imagine it started off as mostly a habitual comfort early on, and developed into self-harm when he felt the need for control.
1.3. jumping off of izzy’s hc that he has a low pain tolerance, i think that the sensation of pain is very sobering to kira, hence the development from thumb-sucking to finger-chewing, as noted by f0r. as unbearable as pain is for him, i think it’s also grounding, esp in moments of anxiety. low pain threshold, low pain tolerance, but a high secret third thing (bad coping mechanisms).
2. this one isn’t canon compliant, but i like to think that kira’s nails don’t actually grow supernaturally fast and are more of a reflection of his state of mind. i think they def grow faster than the average person’s, but it’s a mix of genetics, routine nail care stimulating the growth, and perception bias. he only “notices” it when he’s aroused or stressed bc it’s harder to ignore, and let’s be honest, arousal and stress go hand-in-hand for the guy (ha. hand-in-hand).
3. kira doesn’t just hate body hair on women but also on himself, tho probably for different reasons (aesthetic vs sensory, respectively). this wasn’t much of an issue before taking on kosaku’s face seeing as he doesn’t grow much of it himself, but he would still shave all the same, and always smooth. this is evidenced by the fact that he reached for the blade razor rather than kosaku’s electric one (blades are known for a closer shave, while kosaku used an electric razor since “regular razors usually give you burns,” implying that he uses a guard which is a less close shave). living as kosaku was hell too since he had to shave more frequently and the stubble was a lot scratchier.
4. bouncing off of f0r’s selective hygiene hc, his idea of cleanliness is very contradictory and more aligned w perceived contamination than actual germs. may i remind you of when he licked blood off of his hands during the fight w shigechi as to not stain his clothes. granted, it was his own blood, but considering his self-report abt masturbating, i wouldn’t say it’s far fetched to believe he’s not all that concerned abt washing his own hands.
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4.1. speaking of self-report masturbation habits, kira believes himself to be above masturbation despite probably being a virgin, but the difference between him and those “sweaty unwashed guys” is that he never uses his own hand anymore. 😥
5. kira is attentive to detail but only to the extent that he’s aware. he has an appreciation for specific types of hands, but it’s all very superficial. for example, he’ll paint some nails pretty, but he wouldn’t think to push back the cuticles. like what is this:
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right over the cuticle… you know that polish is chipping, and he’s sucking it right down 😭
6. kira uses this exact cologne:
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6.1. i appreciate that his cologne is unisex since he prob wants a feminine scent for his gfs but nothing so flagrantly womanly that it reflects poorly on him, which leads me to believe that he never went out of his way to buy nail polish (suspicious for a man!) but instead stole it from one of his victims, perhaps if she was carrying it in her purse.
7. he’s a serial killer dater, but he’s no cheater. he might be looking at other hands while he’s in a “relationship,” but at least he’s monogamous abt it; he’ll break up w his current gf before moving on! i mean, why not just take both hands? simple, he can only handle one lady at a time 😌
8. he’s a stickler for routine, and this applies to his diet. these are 2 separate breakfasts he made from eps 1 & 21:
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the exact same, even down to the placement of each dish and utensil. maybe he adds a little measured variety in his lunch and dinner choices, but i’d like to think this is how he makes breakfast every morning, and he never gets sick of it. shinobu occasionally cooking up dif breakfasts for him was probably a shock to the system.
8.1. if he was cooking in someone else’s house and they didn’t have a butter knife or, god forbid, had orange juice w PULP, he’d genuinely get offended. no decorum or taste whatsoever, tsk tsk. it’s a good thing he’s there to “set her soul right.”
8.2. maybe further down the line in the kawajiri household, shinobu would’ve commented on his repetitive breakfast choices, and he’d have to force himself to make an omelette or smth to appease her wildly sporadic (normal) appetite. maybe she’d learn how to make breakfast the way he usually does, just to show that she cares ☺️ but unfortunately she overcooked the eggs, and the knife is in the butter the wrong way, and the toast errs on the side of burnt, and… well, no matter. he’s more than okay being the cook every morning from now on.
9. kosaku styles his hair flat and slick, but kira has no experience w the heavy duty gel that he uses, so it ended up in spikes so he could keep his signature little noodle bangs. old habits die hard.
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and seeing as how shinobu made no comment on kira’s hair turning white, i’m gonna add a bonus kosaku hc that he’s always changing up his hair in some kind of early mid-life crisis. (“there goes my stupid insecure husband doing his hair differently again, as if that’ll change the fact that he’s already graying. 😒”)
10. rounding us off w my handcanons from a while back, kira’s hands aren’t smth he cares to keep prim and pretty the way he would for someone else’s, but he does have his own routine that puts them above average. although he picks at them during bouts of stress, they tend to heal quickly, as hands do (aided by his saliva bc you know even if he wasn’t chewing on them, he’s sucking on his thumb after peeling the hangnails). the lack of scarring all his life enabled his bad habits, only tempered by the impoliteness of it drilled into his mind as a child.
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vex91 · 3 months ago
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Nicha Yontararak - You're losing me
Pairing: Nicha Yontararak x Female Reader
Fandom: (G)I-DLE
Requested by: @1luvkarina
Request: minnie x fem reader, secretly dating and y/n is tired of hiding their relationship from their friends
Summary: After years Minnie finally realizes that she's slowly losing you and tries to fix it but is it already too late?
A/N: Angst bcs I say so @1luvkarina
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3rd's POV
You felt cold.
The winter air felt more cold than usual as you sat in the empty house. Minnie wasn't home, she went out to a friend's party. In her words she had to go alone to not raise any questions among her friends about you - in their eyes you were friends and that's how Minnie wanted it.
Everytime you asked her about the reason of why she wanted to hide your relationship so badly, she always answered the same.
"I don't want anyone getting into our business"
You knew she wasn't honest. She had to have another reason for it but she just wasn't able to confine in you and it hurt even more.
The sound of keys jiggling resonated around the house as you were washing the dishes. You could hear footsteps followed by Minnie's joyful voice as she told you all about the party but you couldn't focus on it, not when you wished to be anywhere else other than with her - something you never thought you would want in your life.
"Baby?" Minnie asked when she noticed how silent you were as you dried your hands "Is everything okay?" She pulled you closer to herself, a worried expression looking back at your blank one.
"Maybe you'll tell me Minnie, is everything okay? With us?" This took your girlfriend by surprise and she let out a nervous chuckle.
"What do you mean? Of cour-"
"I think we need a break"
Minnie froze.
Her heart sped up as panic was clear on her face and in her voice as she blurted out all sorts of questions.
"Minnie can't you see? This whole secret thing, it hurts our relationship. You went to the party without me so people won't see us together and it's not the only example of how you've been treating me. You can't even confine in me about this and you want to tell me that we're fine? That we're not barely hanging in this relationship?" You finally broke down, tears you've been holding the past months finally let loose and Minnie watched it.
Her heart broke at the sight.
She never meant that.
"Love-" She tried holding your hands but you pushed her away "I never meant to make you feel like that, I just... I never wanted anyone to mess with our relationship, make you feel bad about dating me but I guess I went overboard huh?" She mumbled and it nearly made you hesitate but you knew that you deserved better and it Minnie couldn't try then there was nothing left in this house for you.
"Please love, please let me make it up to you" She whispered as she tried to hold back her tears. She didn't deserve to cry, not right now.
You thought about it. It was a hard decision to make as memories flooded your mind. The bad ones kept overshadowing the happy ones but still, you really wanted to focus on the good ones.
So with a kiss on her cheek, you took your bag and left the house leaving her with a lingering kiss on her cheek and words that will continue ringing in her head for days.
"Make sure that in the end we'll end up back in each other's arms or I will never forgive you"
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angelyuji · 2 months ago
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your fic abt fiddleford and ford has me thinking…fiddleford would def use the memory gun on you. to make sure you never find out and confront him or try to leave bc my man is sosososSO guilty. esp if hes doing it out of his own obsession and hes not being spurred on by ford/bill. if he gets rid of your memory youd never know he took advantage of you, so no harm done right?
itd probably also lead to him becoming much bolder and sloppier, bc your memory is gonna get erased anyway. he can do whatever he wants to you without any consequences
taking advantage of you wouldnt be the only reason hed feel guilty. my man is literally MARRIED. hes got a wife and son. hed feel so bad abt being unable to control himself around you (esp bc journal 3 says hes religious. which just adds another layer to the guilt)
also…hed have some creepily fluffy/domestic fantasies abt turning you into a housewife/househusband or having kids with you if hes rlly obsessed. hed definitely be a very “traditional” guy, even if you were the furthest thing from housewife/househusband material
thank you for coming to my ted talk. im very normal abt fiddleford
STOPPPP im starting to like fiddleford now too omg
18+ minors dni!!!!!
OMGGG THE MEMORY GUNN I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT THAT. i feel like if they use it at first, you would eventually break down to them that you feel like ur being haunted like why else do u wake up with scratch marks, hickeys, and cum leaking out of you🤕🤕 they’d obviously tell you by showing you exactly whyy ur waking up like that and this time they wont wipe ur mind cuz too many wipes will make u braindead (they do need ur support on building the portal)
I LOVEEEE RELIGIOUS GUILTTT SOOO MUCH (why i love matt murdock so much) like he’s def on his knees, begging for forgiveness and then immediately going to ur room and making you beg iykim
also totally forgot that he was married with children lmao😭😭 he’ll go home for christmas and miss you, and the entire time he’s thinking abt how ford gets you all to himself for a week and he’s stewing in jealousy.
he def would want to keep you as a housewife/husband. however, it wouldnt get that far cuz (if we’re following canon) fiddleford does end up leaving the project. i think you (research assistant!reader) would stay for science yk like this is smth you’re interested in building a career around. idk tho abt this part
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seeingivy · 1 year ago
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the scouts
roommate eren x f!reader 
eren’s hometown friends have a lot to say. vis a vis you. 
**find the series masterlist here
content warning: galliard slander, irritable bowel syndrome, mikasa don’t gaf, connie and sasha are thieves, lying??, carla yeager being a sunshine, eren being a cheeky little shit, laxatives 
an: alright. feast my children. pls keep ur little memes and drawings and funny comments coming bc I love them (and they incentivize me to write chapters faster so I can seem more of them LOL) - also @togemayo and @rebeccawinters your connie and reiner cameos have ARRIVED, love you da mostest 
previous part linked here
“There’s no way in fucking hell you called me about this. I am a grown man, with a child. I’m above stupid shit like this.” 
“Fuck you, Galliard. Pieck would help me with this, you know that.” 
“Then call her. I’m going to block you.” 
“You don’t think I tried that? I would never willingly talk to you, like ever. Please, Galliard, just tell me what to do.” 
“Twerp, you’re giving him a necklace, not proposing marriage. You’re not going to look desperate if you walk to a fucking soccer field and just to give it to him.” 
“Okay. Are you sure?” 
“I’m hanging up now.” 
“Like really. You’re not just saying that, are you?” 
“Don’t call me unless you’re dying. And even then, you better have tried every other person you know before you ever dial this number again.” 
Static. Fucking asshole hung up on you. 
Eren has a soccer game today. He’d let you know early on in the week that he wouldn’t be here to make breakfast for you on Friday because his family and a few of his hometown friends were coming to watch the game. Apparently, this game was a really big deal - some type of rivalry type thing with another university. 
You weren’t going. Obviously. You had stopped going the second Hitch took your jersey, because it was too embarrassing to think about going now. I mean what are you even supposed to wear now? And what’s the point of going if Eren’s with her and she’s going to be there? 
Yet here you are, waiting in the line outside of the stadium. Everyone around you is decked out - forest green shirts, face paint, streamers - and you can already tell that this game is way more intense than the ones you had been to. In the past, it would be you and maybe five other people in the stands, spread out doing homework. But this game looks like it’s going to be packed. 
All the more reason to do this. 
to jean-boy
you: hey. are you at the game today? 
jean-boy: yeah. on the field with min. they’re all warming up. 
you: i didn’t realize this game would be such a big deal lol. 
jean-boy: yeah. I think everyone’s kind of anxious. eren hasn’t made a single goal all morning and he’s getting more pissed each time he tries 
you: doesn’t help that he left his necklace at home 
jean-boy: the key necklace? did you bring it? 
you: yeah. that’s why im here. i remember he said something about like he always loses games or gets hurt or something when he doesn’t wear it. thought i’d bring it so i don’t have to help him to the toilet when he breaks his legs or smth. 
jean-boy: meet me in the back. ill let you in so you can give it to him. 
You awkwardly wait in the back of the stadium, teetering on your heels as you wait for Jean. You’re just giving him his necklace. It doesn’t mean anything. He won’t know that you like him because you’re just giving him his good luck charm. You’re being a good friend. Anyone in your position would do this. 
“Hey.” 
“Hi Jean.” 
“What are you wearing?” 
You look down, only now paying attention to the outfit that you were wearing. You didn’t think it was that bad - black jeans and a blue cardigan. 
“Why? What’s wrong with it?” 
“You wore the rival's colors.” 
“Okay? Arrest me, Jean.” 
“No, it’s like a thing. You can’t wear the rival's colors. Armin and Eren are going to make you change the second you get on the field.” 
“You guys are so superstitious. It’s just a shirt.” 
He shakes his head as you both walk through the door, pacing across the turf as he sets out to look for Eren. All the players are running on the field, kicking balls in between each other, hitting them into the nets. You spot Eren at the end, his head in his hands as he talks to Armin on the side. 
“Hey. Found him. You can go back, I’ll just give it to him and leave.” 
He nods, leaving your side as you make your way over there. You walk up just in time to catch the end of Armin and Eren’s conversation, your ears burning. You shouldn’t have come. 
“How do you know you love Annie? Because, sometimes I think I love her, Armin.” 
You can pretend like that one didn’t sting. You clear your throat, the two of them turning their backs to look at you. You watch Eren’s eyes nearly boggle out of their sockets as Armin drops the water bottle he was holding, at the sight of you standing there. Armin awkwardly walks away as Eren walks up, his eyes still flashing in shock. 
“What are you doing here?” 
“What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?” 
“How much did you hear?” 
“None of it. Did I miss something important?” 
You see his shoulders relax, pushing out a sigh of relief. First he calls you his best friend and then he can’t even tell you he thinks he might love Hitch?
“Yeah, you almost heard about my murder plot. It all started that fateful day, when I let you move into my apartment.” 
“That was months ago. Surely the opportunity must have presented itself. Knife to the back in the shower…smack me across the head with a frying pan…” 
“I’m playing the long game. You’ll never see it coming.” 
You both laugh, with you rolling your eyes as the silence settles around you too. You can see the stands filling up at your sides, the anticipation building in the stadium. 
“Um so-” 
“What are you wearing, Y/N?”
“We’re not doing this, Eren.” 
“You have to change. Like now.” 
“I’m not walking around in my tank top, Eren. It’s cold. And I’ll leave anyway, I just came to give you this.” 
You hold the key necklace up, dangling it between the two of your faces. You watch his eyes light up as he takes the necklace from your hands. He then cups your face in his hand and presses a kiss to your fucking forehead, before putting his arms around you and spinning you in the air.
“Oh my fucking god, thank you. You brilliant, brilliant girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been missing goals all morning.” 
Your brain is malfunctioning. You’ve literally picked up Eren from parties in the dead of the night and he’s barely even said thank you when you did that. This is all it takes? A fucking necklace and he gives you a forehead kiss? 
He sets you down, still flashing you a bigger than big smile as he latches the necklace on. 
“You’re not missing goals because you weren’t wearing the necklace.” 
“Yes. I was. We’re not having this argument right now, especially when you’re wearing that. I have something you can wear.” 
You hear Armin walk up, holding two jerseys in his hand. 
“Way ahead of you. She can wear mine or yours. Everyone else put their spares in their lockers already.” 
“Mine. Thanks Armin.” 
“Don’t tell me you believe in this too, Armin?” 
“Just put it on. If you don’t, Eren will blame you if the game goes wrong.” 
Armin walks away, leaving the two of you standing again. Eren’s holding the jersey out in front of you, waiting for you to put it on. 
“Full disclosure. I will blame it on you, if we lose kitty.” 
“It’s just a color.” 
“No. No, it’s the principle. Think about it. My girl can’t be wearing the rival colors on our sides of the stands. That’s just a bad omen..like we’re asking to lose the game or something.” 
My girl. 
“I’m leaving, Eren. I just came to give you the necklace.” 
He puts his hands on your waist, spinning you around to turn you towards the stadium, where everyone was sitting. He leaves one hand on there, his other sliding down to your wrist. 
“What are you doing?” 
He lifts your hand up, shaking it in front of the stadium. 
“This isn’t the time for a puppet show, Eren.” 
“Look at the second row, towards the middle.” 
You squint your eyes, scanning the entire row. And then you fucking see it. Eren’s parents and his brother. He’s making you wave at them. And they’re doing it back, nearly jumping to return the gesture.
“Eren.” 
He spins you back around and he fucking smirks at you. 
“You waved at them. Now, they’re going to expect you to go sit with them. For the entire game, mind you. Meaning you’re staying, so you should put it on.” 
Asshole. 
“Unless you want to leave my mom hanging?” 
“Give me the jersey, Eren.” 
He flashes you a winning smile, clearly delighted with his victory. You unbutton the ends of the cardigan, slipping it off and switching it with Eren’s jersey. He reaches forward, pulling out the ends of your hair that were tucked into the jersey as you smooth it against your clothes. 
“So.” 
“So.” 
“Win your game or whatever. Without the help of your stupid necklace.” 
“Planning on it, peaches. Necklace and all.” 
He pokes the side of your cheek and flashes you one last smile as he runs back onto the field, right in front of the goal. You watch as he centers the ball in front of him, kicking it into the net on the first try. He turns to the side, pointing at you after making the goal, as he mouths four words.
I told you so. 
You tap Zeke on the shoulder, the three of them turning their heads towards you. 
“Hi. Mind if I sit with you guys?” 
The three of them jump up - Grisha shaking your hand very excitedly, Zeke crushing you in a hug, and Carla cupping your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on both of your cheeks. 
So this is where Eren gets it from. 
“We’re so excited you came, sweet girl. We were hoping you would find your way over here when we saw you on the field.” 
You nod, Carla squeezing your hands in hers (another thing Eren gets from her, you’re sure of it). You settle in the seat next to Zeke, brushing your sweaty palms against the ends of your pants. You can see the game is starting as they all take their places on the field, Eren giving the four of you one last wave. You look at the group of people seated directly to your right, the four of them waving back at him too. 
And then you remember. Eren’s hometown friends came down to watch his game. 
You take in the sight of the four of them. You can recognize the girl at the end, farthest from you. Mikasa - Eren’s childhood best friend, the two of them and Armin were inseparable. The two in the middle you recognize as well, from the polaroid that Eren had in his wallet. They’re both arguing with each other - with him pulling her hair and her elbowing him in the sides. The fourth boy is entirely unrecognizable to you - broad shoulders, short, messy blonde hair. 
You tap him on the shoulder. 
“Hi. You’re one of Eren’s hometown friends, right? My name is Y/N. I’m his roommate.” 
At the sound of this, the four of them turn their heads, turning to face you. 
“His roommate? Since when?” 
“Yeah. We’ve been living together since the start of the semester.” 
“Reiner, there’s no way in hell right? He kept going on and on about how he was going to finally have a bachelor pad this semester.” 
“There’s no fucking way. He literally hated having a roommate. Remember when he threw up on Samuel’s bed on purpose when he was drunk?” 
Mental note, Reiner’s the one with the blonde hair. The three of them turn their heads towards Mikasa, who's still watching the game. You’re not sure when she showed up, but Annie’s sitting at her side - the two of them linking their arms together as they sit. Right. She must already know Mikasa since her and Armin have been dating for a while. 
“Mikasa. Did you know about this?” 
“He may have mentioned it once or twice to me, Connie.” 
Buzzed hair is Connie. Connie and the girl in the middle open up the space between them, gesturing for the two of you to sit between them. You don’t miss the look they give each other as you sit down, the two of them smiling deviously. 
“I’m Sasha.” 
“And I’m Connie.” 
“It’s nice to meet you guys, really.” 
They both smile, linking their arms with yours as they start staring at you more intently. 
“Say. Do you mind answering a few questions for us?” 
“Sure.” 
“How did Eren become your roommate?” 
“I kind of had these sucky roommates last semester. They kind of didn’t mention that they didn’t want to room with me anymore so I kind of switched around at staying at my friends place while I tried to look for an apartment. I couldn’t find one after a week and I met Eren at Armin’s and he offered.” 
You watch the three of them, Reiner leaning over now, widening their eyes at you. 
“He offered? To house you, a woman, another person, in his apartment, willingly?” 
“I mean, I think so? I think he might have felt bad or something. I’m not really sure why he did it.” 
“I might have an idea.” 
At Reiner’s comment, the three of them start giggling, like they’re all in on some joke you’re not quite sure of. 
“Do you like Taylor Swift, Y/N?” 
“I do, Connie. Is it that obvious?” 
You feel Connie shaking your arm, nearly jumping out of his seat. 
“Me too. What’s your favorite album? Favorite song? Folklore or Evermore?” 
“Probably, Reputation. For the song, I think maybe Sweet Nothing? And definitely Evermore over here.” 
Reiner reaches over and smacks Connie on the back of the neck, mentioning he was getting off track. Off track of what? 
“Say. Have you ever…played Taylor Swift for Eren or something?” 
“Um, not exactly playing it for him but I kind of have a tendency to sing in the shower sometimes. But also, he did willingly watch the Reputation Stadium Tour without me prompting him to, so I think it’s growing on him.” 
At this, Connie and Sasha lean over, their faces a few feet from yours. 
“I fucking knew it. That playlist is about you.” 
“What playlist?” 
You watch Reiner pull out his phone, opening out his Spotify app. The three of them are still smirking - the same way Eren did when he trapped you into staying at the game. 
He hands you Eren’s Spotify profile, with exactly one playlist on it, called peaches. The picture is the one from when you and Eren went to see Kenny in the city, only your hands in view as you pet the cat the two of you saw on the street. 
You scroll through the playlist, with well over a hundred songs - most of them being Taylor Swift. They are organized by album, a few songs picked out from each one. Meaning, Eren went through each album and picked out the songs that he liked. Just because you said you liked Taylor Swift. I mean, it did have to be about you. It is called peaches. 
“So. Is it about you?” 
“Uh, yeah. I think so, Connie. Those are my hands. And he calls me peaches, because of my shampoo.” 
Mikasa leans over, interjecting in the conversation. 
“Did he make you switch it? The shampoo?” 
“Uh, no. I think he likes it?” 
“Hm.” 
Mikasa leans back, sharing a look with Sasha. 
“Is that a big deal or something, Connie?” 
“Kind of. Eren got really bad food poisoning from some peach flavored concoction Reiner made him once in high school. The smell makes him want to like vomit.” 
“It wasn’t a concoction, it was a protein shake. How was I supposed to know that dragon fruit was basically a laxative?” 
“We all told you. Like six times.” the three of them respond, rolling their eyes. 
Sasha and Connie unlink their arms from yours, turning their attention back to the game. The four of them interject once in a while, lost in their own conversations, but your head is still buzzing from the one that you had with them. 
Eren has a playlist. That he made for you. He spent hours probably - listening to each song, picking out the ones he liked. 
“Say. Did Eren ever mention us?” 
“Hm. Well, I knew about Mikasa - Armin and Eren have both mentioned her. And I’ve seen a picture of the two of you before, Eren has one in his wallet. But no Reiner, never mentioned you.” 
“We have his wallet.” 
Reiner taps Zeke on the shoulder and pockets the wallet from him. Sasha and Connie reach over, pulling out the dollar bills first - equally dividing the cash between the five of you and stuffing her share in her pocket - before returing it to Reiner, who pulls out both polaroids. 
This is when you realize your mistake. Because the polaroid of you kissing his cheek is still in his fucking wallet. You watch Reiner pull it out and hold it out in front of Connie and Sasha, the two of them shaking you in their arms as they all scream in your ears. 
“You guys are so cute! We fucking knew it. When did you start dating?” 
At the sound of that, you see Carla turn her head out of the corner of her eyes, slightly shuffling over to see what you two are talking about. And then your mistake gets even worse. Because then Carla runs over, kissing you twice on the cheeks again and literally bursting out of happiness at the news. 
“Oh, I’m so happy for you two. I knew something was going on. And I even told Eren, he better get a move on because a girl like you doesn’t stay single for long.” 
“You would be shocked, Mrs.Yeager.” 
She takes her hands into yours, squeezing twice again. Fucking Yeagers and their hand squeezing. It’s almost impossible not to like them. 
“Take care of our boy, okay?. He’s really sensitive and emotional, which I’m sure you know already but he means well. Really. And let him take care of you too. He’s told me that you’re a little bit more closed off at times, but he would never hurt you. He cares about you, so so much. It’s you two, on the same side, always.” 
And you can’t do it. You can’t tell her the truth because…she’s just so excited. So happy for the two of you. The way she’s holding your hands in hers, kissing your cheeks, doting over you. She’s so excited that it’s you. You don’t want to be the one to tell her that her son has no interest in you. 
So you don’t. 
“I will. Take care of him, I mean.” 
She smiles widely again, crushing you in your arms as he gives you another hug. 
Now you have to find Eren. And tell him that you just told your mom that the two of you are dating. 
-  
You find him at half-time, outside the locker room. He’s lying on the bench with two of his teammates, ice packs pressed to each of his foreheads. 
“Ren?” 
He immediately sits up at the sound of your voice, pulling the ice pack off his head as he stands up. He gestures towards the walkway, the two of you walking back down to the stadium. 
“Everything okay, kitty?” 
“Uh. I might have messed up.” 
He stops, turning to face you. 
“What did you do?” 
“Promise you won’t be mad, Ren?” 
“I could never be mad at you. You know that.” 
Right. Okay. Just tell him. That’s when you start rambling. 
“Well. I met your friends - they’re really nice. Connie and Sasha stole some of your money, though. And Reiner was basically telling me about how he gave you Irritable Bowel Syndrome with a peach smoothie he made you, which is weird because you call me peaches but they were insisting that you hate them. Right, so I told them that you keep a polaroid of them in your wallet - because it’s so cute and I would want to know if I was them -  and then they pulled your wallet out and the other polaroid was still in there. And then your mom saw and she was just being so…so sweet that I didn’t have the heart to tell her we weren’t really together.” 
He’s staring you down. Green eyes, forehead scrunched up, lips in a straight line. Stop paying attention to his fucking lips. 
“So. Let me get this straight. You told my mom that…we were dating?” 
“Yes.”
“That’s it?” 
“What? 
“I thought you killed someone or something. That’s not a big deal.” 
“How is that not a big deal? I just lied to your mother. And told her that we were dating.” 
“Yeah. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your position. She probably gave you that whole lecture right, about how we need to take care of each other, how I’m all sensitive and emotional?” 
You’ve got to be kidding me. 
“Yeah. How’d you know? 
“She gave me the same one after she met you. Even I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t dating you. I just told her I liked you, that’s all.” 
“Oh. Okay. I was like freaking out about it.” 
He locks his fingers with yours, squeezing twice as the two of you continue to slowly walk. 
“It’s okay. I’ll deal with her. She just really likes you, that’s all. They all do.” 
“Okay. You sure it’s okay? You’re not secretly mad at me right?” 
He looks over, giving you a lopsided grin, the one that makes your heart skip a beat. 
“Really, kitty. I could never be mad at you. And I know you. There’s nothing nefarious going on up here.” 
He takes his fingers, tapping on your forehead. 
“How do you know? This could all be a part of my secret plot to be the new Mrs. Yeager.” 
“Bullshit.” 
You nudge into him, making him stumble to the side as you both make it to the front of the stadium. 
“And why’s that?” 
“Because. You wouldn’t need a secret plot if that’s what you wanted.” 
He taps the end of your nose before lifting the bar to run back on the field to finish the game, leaving you more confused than when you arrived here.
Stupid Galliard. He always gives terrible advice. 
next chapter linked here
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bangtandreamland8 · 3 months ago
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(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Thanks To Shiftblr I Notice a Big Change in Mind Set ♥
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Just a little head up so u don't get confused instead of () to express my thoughts, feelings or opinions they will be colored in pink like this also purple is for information that was important to me and had some sort of effect on me in someway Hopefully that makes sense bc I'm bad at explaining things
when I first Stumbled Across Shiftblr I wanted To Get Away from all the toxic people on shifttok + I was also losing some interest in shifting witch caused a very long shifting break. That was UNTIL I Decided that one day to not go on shifttok again and look for information about shifting Somewhere Else and in my search, I came across Shiftblr and I was hit with a lot of Yelling the yelling was well deserved mainly about Not Caring about the 3D The only important 4D is our real reality because we are imagination and Also How we are always shifting also persisting. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I was trying to summaries what I have been learning on here One Major change I noticed was 4 days ago I did my first Shifting attempt after a very long break because I just randomly started thinking about My BTS Reality It was A random Scenario That I had Scripted So I thought I was do a sleep method, But I ended Up Falling asleep, But I noticed feeling a little happy when I woke up even though I fell asleep during my method I remember saying to myself "Its Okey That I fell asleep Bc I still shifted" after I told myself that there was a part of me that Did Believed that I Shifted But a small part of me that Didn't But I decided not to focus too much on that side of me this was a big difference bc I would normally just throw a fit about me falling asleep while I was trying to shift Or Would look at the steps to the method I did to see if I did anything wrong. but instead, I just said I still shifted and went on with the rest of my day Evan Tho there was still that small part of me that didn't believe what I had said was true I just thought that I had Shifted But because there was that other part of me that believed that I had shifted, and I was in my Dr so I just decided to Listen To that part Of Me Instead of thinking I Didn't shift and whining and complain about it so, I just got out of bed and went on with my day and that was it. Another thing I learned from being on tumbler is loa And Manifestations in general one thing I learn is that the 4D is our real reality So why should we care about what we see in the 3D and as long as we accept the fact that we have everything we want in the 4D then we don't have to worry about the 3D bc the 3D Is not Our Ture reality this how my brain took that information from different post on here also, something else that I kept in mind was that we are Imagination we are nothing but Imagination. I'm goanna admit that this was hard for me to grasp at first bc I now realize I might have been overthinking it a little. but when I first started reading those post I was always saying to myself "how am imagination when people would say how bad it was for me to have a big imagination when I was younger" I was one of those kids who had an overactive imagination, and I also had family member who though that it was weird But besides I later thought that well if this person is telling me that I am Imagination then why would they lie. so, for a couple of days I would randomly say to myself " I'm Imagination" and to be honest I don't know why I just for some reason felt that I needed to remind myself that I am imagination and I think it worked in some way bc I was trying to manifest some money, and I went to the job my mom helps me get cleaning the doctor office that she worked at before I started, I closed my eyes and told myself I would do a really good job and make a good imprecation and the day that I actually started the lady who haired me for the job kept giving me complement's and I was supposed to get paid by the end of the week but she paid me on the spot also on Friday she gave me extra cash my mom said it was because she like me and she was goanna have me come back every day when she on vacation since she also helps cleans the office
So, with that being said I was and will forever be Grateful for shiftblr and that one post with the person who yelled at me in a post also shook me I think I reblog that post not sure I'll probably go looking for it and ill added to this post or my introduction post but i strongly believe that if i didn't decide to leave shifttok then i would probably have woken up in this reality complaining about how i didn't shift or thinking i was doing a method wrong But now Im more focused on what i do/have in the 4D thank you for coming to my Journal entry
Also, from now on I'll be treated this blog as a journal because it kind of felt like that while I was writing this
oh, and thank you for being here on my journey
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altf4d3lete · 6 months ago
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EPISODE TWO
- “maybe it’s one of your classmates” erm or maybe it’s your fucking son and you just decided to ignore the fact that he could be a Hyde too because you didn’t want that to be true
- Weems trying so hard to protect the school. Love her even tho she’s controversial
- Bro wednesday is better than me bc if Rowan walked in smiling at me like that I would have actually lost my shit right then and there
- “Was it to gain attention” what a horrible therapist wtf
- Why does this therapy session feel like a fight omg
- EW TYLER. Sorry.
- Court ordered therapy how badly did you fuck Xavier up bro
- “I believe you” i wonder why bro you’re so manipulative
- ENID MY BBG 😭 “i will literally scratch my own eyes out” “i would pay money to see that” and enid just whips around with a huge smile THEYRE SO CUTE
- HUH??? BY EPISODE TWO THING IS GIVING ENID NECK MASSAGES THATS CRAZY
- Enid not being mean about Rowan being alive unlike SOMEONE (Xavier)
- Yoko looks so done im sobbing
- The gentle rejection from Wednesday and Enid taking it with no issue
- ENID’S WINK
- Is the choir only sirens
- THE FAINT BARKING AFTER SHE SINGS THE NOTE DOGS CAN HEAR
- “Ever shot a bow and arrow” “only on live targets” proceeds to mansplain how to shoot a bow he’s so annoying I can’t stand Xavier im sorry
- She HATES him it’s so funny
- EUGENEEEE
- poor guy aw she just left him there
- There’s just casually a severed hand running through the train station
- THE WAY SHE SLAMS XAVIER’S SPIDER IS SO FUNNY
- Xavier is so awkward sitting between his ex and his crush AND they’re beefing
- Sheriff Galpin is kinda annoying
- HELP ENID BEING SASSY BC THING IS MAD
- Not her coaching wednesday on thing
- “go apologize” “yes ma’am 😐😕”
- Imagine losing your family to a pink sparkly werewolf
- Awww her opening up to thing is so cute
- COUGHS her GREATEST FEAR is being responsible for something terrible and y’all r saying she’d be okay dating someone who was going to help genocide her classmates that’s crazy.
- “I can’t let that happen”
- Y’all she was genuinely concerned abt being the reason the school is in trouble
- Her crushing Eugene about Enid is crazy
- Tyler is so manipulative holy shit
- God she trusted Laurel that sucks so much
- Sigh she can relate to Laurel and that sucks so bad
- I feel so bad for her the one adult she felt like could understand her
- Damn Xavier is so argumentative towards Bianca wtf
- Wednesday was so mad about Bianca cheating to hurt Enid
- MY POOR BABY CRYING ENID :((
- SHES JOINING FOR ENID BE FR WEDNESDAY. YOURE MAD ABT BIANCA’S COMMENT TOWARDS ENID
- I love how they’re always attached at the hip
- WEDNESDAY PUT ON A CATSUIT FOR ENID BE FR EARS AND EVERYTHING
- Enid just not being afraid by Wednesday’s threats
- The way nearly getting beheaded by an axe in the poe cup is just normal
- Enid trusting Wednesday to get the flag
- YES GIRL BREAK THEIR BOAT ENID
- The way she’s way faster than Xavier and Ajax because they got there before and she’d practically caught up with them by the time they got to the crypt (she took a shortcut nvm)
- Goody my bbg 😞
- Xavier getting so mad abt losing is crazy bro literally fell off his seat
- AND YELLING “CHEATERS” HELP
- WWWD I love you enid
- YEA THING PUNCH THAT MF FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND
- ENID WAITING TO RUN TO THE FINISH LINE FOR WEDNESDAY TO HOLD THE FLAG TOO IM ILL
- AND THEM HOLDING IT TOGETHER
- ENID LITERALLY SIDE HUGGING AND SHAKING HER AND WEDNESDAY DOESNT CARE
- they’re so cute
- With how far wednesday went from the quad and how quick enid found her, enid probably immediately went looking for Wednesday after noticing she was missing
- The way she’s hugging Wednesdays arm is so cute
- And the way wednesday looks at enid awww
- WEEMS BEING MORTICIAS COPILOT AND WEDNESDAY BEING ENIDS THATS SO CUTE
- “Ah yes. Me, my gf, and her 5 foot tall trophy”
- Why did she write everything in caps except the “i”s
- The ol’ Addams family snap
- Damn bro got kidnapped that’s crazy
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acerikus · 2 months ago
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G o d. All gekkos' outertale posting makes me wanna talk more in depth about the characterisation and plot issues in this game and why they bother me...
(readmore bc holy fuck this got long, it's probably like 5k words. It's also pretty much all salt, categorised by character)
Toriel
Why. Why is she like this. Kinda feels like the creator of the game hates her and if they don't, they have a weird way of showing it. She's treated as overdramatic and unjustified in her anger at asgore despite the fact that he DID declare war on humanity and he DID willingly let the people believe he was killing human children to harvest their souls. Even if he didn't do it for real in this game, she has every right to be angry and to not trust him, and it CERTAINLY doesn't make her undeserving to be a mother or whatever. Idk about you, but I don't think wanting kids to stay away from a man yelling about wanting to kill every child that crosses him makes you a bad parent, even if it turns out he didn't really hurt anyone y'know?
They also REALLY zoned in on 'mother' with her in a way that doesn't really make sense here. I could maybe see her feeling guilty for making a snap judgement but how would that call her motherhood into question?
Sans saying isolation messed with her makes no sense too!!!! The outerlands or whatever they called the ruins isn't sealed off in this game, other monsters seem way less intimidated by her in this game than in undertale (she has friends! She knows sans by name and goes to napstablook's shows and even has their phone number!), and we outright get told she takes the taxi to get her groceries... Meaning she headed off to the rest of the outpost and probably does that often enough.
All things considered, Toriel seems fairly well adjusted in outertale, at least by outertale standards. Kinda then makes it feel like everyone's just trying to convince her she's hysterical and that... Sucks.
Also the fact that they added an ending where you stay with her and framed it as a bad ending that doomed everyone is... Really mean? It sucked ass I'm sorry :/
Sans
... Why is he like this. This take on Sans is absolutely infuriating tbh. The only positive I really have here is that his puns are kinda good, I've seen fangames that fuck up this element massively and it was kinda fun to see his interactions in starton.
Okay, back to salt. His whole 'i became a sentry to help humans' thing is trash. He didn't care about that in ut! He didn't care about that at all! The only reason he looks out for frisk is because he made a promise to toriel, and he hates breaking promises. He didn't want to let down his friend.
...Huh. realising this is yet another case of Toriel disrespect somehow. Yet another thing they took from her, that they then just... Handed over to sans instead. :/
His lack of backstory. Look, I get wanting something silly, but they took almost everything that makes sans interesting away. Not hyperfocusing on sans like certain aus do is nice, but it feels like in a lot of situations in this game they overcompensated by a long shot.
No mysterious past/origins. We know he worked with alphys I guess but???? Honestly I have a LOT to rant about for that part so I'll leave it for twinkly's section. And yet despite all this, Sans inexplicably bleeds in tpe when not even undertale has that happen? Make up your mind!
His role in non Asriel chaotic also... Sucks ass. I'm in a pretty awesome corner of the fandom in terms of the people I follow and the takes I see as a result, so if I'm honest, when I saw all those posts about 2024 fanon sans being indifferent to his brother's murder, I kinda just figured they were vaguing about this game. You're telling me that sans of all people just shrugs off you killing everyone and complains a little bit before letting you pass?! He should know alphys already ran off. He should know the only person left to stop you is asgore, and that it's obvious he won't. Part of this could be connected to how frisk is written perhaps, and much like the twinkly situation, I'll have much more to say on that further down.
I understand the creator didn't wanna have a sans fight in their game - however, if that's the case... Maybe come up with a reason for him to NOT show up in the last corridor, then? Have him busy helping with evacuations or something, or already dead like in the first chaotic ending... This was just sloppy.
Papyrus
Honestly he wasn't... Terrible. The phonecalls were fun even if most were cheap references (though they can be fun in fangames sometimes so I'm not mad at this lol). Him being extremely talented at making spaghetti is just one symptom of one of this game's biggest flaws, however. I really don't like how nobody's really allowed to be bad at anything or have any real struggles in this game - especially when spaghetti in undertale is used to demonstrate his relationship with undyne and the similar wavelength they're on when humans aren't involved. She's the one who started teaching him to cook it, it's deeply intertwined with his desire to be a royal guard, and it's something they suck at together. Him just inexplicably being good at it is... Weird, and feels really disconnected from their friendship and her reluctance to let him in the guard yknow?
Also: his boss final phase. Having the dog NOT take his special attack away this time was really funny admittedly but... Idk? Not only is the fight really unfair for pacifist/neutral and those who aren't as good at the game (ut never gets this hard outside of geno), it feels way too on the nose in terms of insisting he's strong and has powerful attacks. Undertale didn't need to overcompensate to get across that papyrus is strong and disciplined and the way you have to infer that in undertale is way cooler. I might just be nitpicking with this point tbh but it's whatever. Letting myself be a hater for once.
And don't get me started on him getting together with Mettaton. It seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere, the idea that they were already friends in this was glossed over really quickly and no time was really put into developing the relationship save for papyrus commenting on finding him attractive every few minutes.
Gotta be honest, I've never been a fan of this ship nor understood its popularity. Papyrus very briefly mentions thinking he's attractive in undertale, but it doesn't really go anywhere and I'm not even sure mettaton knows he exists. It feels like it was just kinda added because it's a popular ship and that's it, not sure it really contributes much to either of their arcs. It was a light-hearted celebrity crush in canon and never really tried to be more.
Oh, oops. Had more to say here than I thought.
Undyne
Not much to say here... I think she was okay, there's nothing super bad with her. I do think the way gerson kinda downplays her/lacks faith in her in the chaotic route kinda sucks and I think choosing to make her non-undying chaotic bossfight harder sure was A Choice, but it's whatever. Undying was weirdly easy in a way that didn't do her much justice. Honestly they didn't do enough with her for me to have a wall of complaints and I can't tell if that's a good thing or not. Her relationship with alphys didn't really amount to much and her lack of understanding of human culture doesn't really hit as hard when she's just talking about random sci-fi things that we have no way of knowing are real or not in this game's idea of the 2600s ourselves, y'know? Her love of anime (that she mistakenly thinks is human history) is pretty absent here except to validate her relationship with alphys in a very shallow way.
The Ghost Family
Hoo boy... Was gonna make this the mettaton section, but I wanted to talk about napstablook at the same time, so I'm just gonna lump them all together.
What. What the hell was this plotline.
It feels like they tried to go for 'smalltime farmer chases passion for stardom after feeling unfulfilled at home' and as I've seen someone else say, 'shy business owner struggles to talk to their cousin outside of work'. This would've been fine tbh, but... There's a lot of things in the execution of this that kinda grossed me out if I'm honest. I don't think they were intentional, but I think it could've been thought through a lot better to avoid some unfortunate implications - or even lean into them in a respectful way.
Firstly, the ghost family intervention was pretty long, awkward, and didn't feel like it really added much - especially when most people playing would already know mettaton's backstory anyway (and his house is still accessible like in undertale!!!!! What was the point?)
Mettaton airing out his family issues on live TV feels very ooc - he keeps that stuff very close to his chest and I doubt he'd like it getting out. Him entertaining any of that out in the open seems... Weird.
Speaking of the intervention, his cousins' treatment of him was horrifying! Part of it seems intentional and it's nice that there's at least one part in the game where characters are allowed to have flaws and do bad things but... There's also elements that feel like you're meant to agree with them? Their insistence that mettaton just come home and everything they did in the past with constantly badgering him to come and help out on the farm were rightfully treated as something that hurt mettaton's feelings and that gave napstablook and the others pause. That's (mostly, we'll come back to it later) fine. He called them out for it and they reflected on it, cool. The way his ghost form was utilised makes me extremely uncomfortable, however.
Napstablook talks about hearing 'the real [mettaton]' in the recording, right to his face, 'the real mettaton' in this scenario alluding to his ghost form. Considering mettaton is a trans allegory, this feels... Kinda gross? In a similar vein, when passing mettaton's quiz barriers, one of the questions is 'what is mettaton's true identity' and you have the option to deadname him (using a name papyrus literally just made up in undertale rather than having any kind of creativity ofc) Alphys' reaction is simply to ask how you know that which... Doesn't feel great. The correct answer is 'mettaton' ofc thankfully, but everything around this particular plot point feels weird. Maybe don't do that w the most prevalent trans allegory character..?
And ofc, they keep insisting he just come home, go back to working on the farm, go back to his family... Idk, gives me vibes of someone abandoning their shitty transphobic family and then insisting they want to see 'the real [deadname] again' and for them to abandon their new life and just go back to the way things were before. Not good.
All of this would still be okay for the most part since the ghost family are painted as being unfair to mettaton... But in true pacifist, he goes back to helping out with the farm anyway and talks about how he thinks he was probably just being dramatic after all, and how 'blooky didn't do anything that bad'
... What?
It takes me right back to Toriel's treatment. Napstablook, Maddie and lurksalot gave no real thought to mettaton's feelings, made it all about them and showed pretty much no support for his transition nor his career! Fuck those guys! It's funny - mettaton is pretty consistently a pompous asshole (affectionate) in undertale but here, I think all his feelings towards his family were COMPLETELY valid. Mettaton outertale didn't do anything wrong.
Lurksalot didn't feel like they contributed much to the story either, save to be yet another character treating mettaton like shit with zero consequences nor narrative judgement. They just made every ghost family event even more drawn out.
And then ofc!!!! Mettaton and Alphys' friendship is so bland in this game! They're two people who kinda know each other and she says some nice things about him in a letter in chaotic but that's about it. Their friendship and the subsequent conflict frisk's arrival brings to it in undertale is the heart of hotland and the core, but here it's just replaced with unnecessary, hard to watch, boring family drama. The two of them have no issues to work out. She doesn't ask too much of him. There's no funny quips and barely any chemistry at all. God forbid either of them have any real flaws.
One last thing: I'm glad maddie gets her mew mew body, it's nice. Wish it was an on-screen moment or something alluded to more though. Some of that time dragging out the family drama could've been used on that instead, y'know? Especially with napstablook getting the mew mew doll... Genuinely thought they were gonna show it to her when they first got hold of it, rather than dragging Frisk into their intervention. She should've gotten to be more mad, too. Kinda a big part of her identity.
Oh, and mettaton's no-asriel chaotic fight was bullshit. It was a nice spamton reference and the first phase was cool, but the second was utter bullshit and dragged out the fight way too long. Attacking him after snapping all the wires should've killed him im sorry. It's even more of a shame bc I genuinely really liked this game's mettaton neo fight - it was fun and creative and felt possible.
Holding myself back from adding any more to this bc I could go on and on, ugh.
Alphys
Alphys. For a game that tries to make her the star of it, it's actually kinda impressive how much they managed to take away from her and just how uninteresting she is in this game.
At the surface level she's awesome, powerful, and the star of the show. In my first playthrough I was actually pretty happy to see her thriving like this! The more routes I played and the more I thought about it though they just kinda... Declawed her. Took away all her flaws. Made her 'perfect' in a way that I don't think works at all.
The amalgamates never happened. None of her experiments went wrong. She never hid away from her mistakes, or lied to anyone (save for keeping Asgore's secret, which she has no negative feelings about), nor did she over engineer any situations to make herself seem cooler. She doesn't argue with Mettaton! She's confident and assertive! She's Asgore's right hand woman and next in line for the throne! And ofc, the badass final boss! What's not to love?
...But none of this is Alphys, is it?
Her anxiety isnt just because of the determination experiments, it's pretty clear she's always been a pretty shy and nervous person. In fact, based on her entries they were one of the things she was more confident in before it all went wrong. People are hard, but she knows science, y'know?
She doesn't get to be flawed or interesting - despite her presence, she's just a generic cool scientist who's suave with the ladies, I guess..?
She isn't particularly dorky, shes overly confident, she has zero issues to work through. Her relationship with undyne is perfect (derogatory) and her infodumping about anime just before the archive feels very forced, like they remembered last minute that she does that and thought it should be included somehow.
Depicting what she'd be like in a scenario where the determination experiments never happened is a fun and interesting idea! But deltarune demonstrates how to do that well, and I think they completely missed the mark. The way she talks, her body language, the way she acts around others in general... These things are universal constants and yet in outertale, she's basically a different person entirely.
Outertale alphys isn't allowed to lie (save to cover for asgore Secretly Being A Good Person), she isn't allowed to miscalculate, she isn't allowed to mis-speak or make mistakes or do anything she'd regret. She feels like an alphys written by someone who hates her in canon and thinks all her flaws make her terrible and unlikable. I doubt this is the case since I don't think a person like that would've given her such prevalence, but that's the level of love and attention I feel was given to her writing here. It makes me sad.
And, of course... The DT experiments and her fight.
... Why did she have vials of determination if all the humans are alive? Did she take it from them? If so, was this before or after they went into stasis? We know she's not been the royal scientist for long in relation to how long humans have been falling, so did ROMAN take the determination? How much of this did she even DO?
Why did she and sans even DO anything with determination? It... Doesn't really make sense.
Speaking of determination, why did she melt at the end of her fight? I'd assume she's injected herself with determination as one of the vials in her lab is mentioned to be partially used, but I'm pretty sure it's also like this on pacifist. Was that overlooked? Are we just meant to assume it's MORE depleted? Does she just have natural determination now because She's So Cool And Badass? This isn't even really a complaint about the fight, more just how poorly that part of her lab is handled lmao
But getting into her fight... Idk, it didn't really feel like her. A lot of it was just random bullshit that was hard for the sake of being hard, that didn't really seem to be tied to her identity very well at all. People complain a lot about the Zenith Martlet fight in undertale yellow but that's done far better than this, imo. It clearly reflects martlet's character, personality and canonical bullet patterns (we see Alphys' in ut tpe!), there's a genuine feeling of progression in the fight and the act you're given to help with the fight feels more effective - you can still damage her on her turn, so taking a turn to heal act doesn't feel like a waste. The Asriel acts though... They just don't last long enough to feel that worth it? Sure they're okay, but in general, you get a lot less time to breathe. Martlet's fight lets you retry from phase 2 if you die. Sans' in undertale gives you as many turns as you need to heal while he's sparing you. Alphys' fight just feels like it's made to feel un-fun and painful throughout in a way that just isn't worth it, and doesn't really feel like it fits her personality either, y'know? The fight was just a slog and like many others, I had zero motivation to finish it legit. I don't think it helps that the undyne and mettaton fights in this route are fairly easy and simple in comparison.
Tldr: they took away everything that makes alphys endearing, fun and interesting. This isn't alphys at all.
Asgore
A huge chunk of this essay accidentally got deleted, including my first attempt at writing this section. In it, I mentioned that the Asgore apologism went way too far.
This time though, I don't think I'd even call it that. Reflecting on it, it feels less like an attempt to defend him and more like a way to hate on and spite Toriel.
Seriously. So much of his character basically just feels like someone going 'fuck you toriel. I'm giving EVERYTHING to asgore.'
It's... Really weird?
Asgore having a way out of killing humans is an interesting concept! Outertale takes place 500 years in the future compared to undertale, so the idea that they have the resources and technology to do that is kinda cool and in theory, exploring this idea sounds really fun. In practice though, it feels like it was mostly done to make Toriel out to be an asshole for no reason and to laugh at her for ever assuming he would've really killed anyone (despite... Y'know. Telling everyone that's what he was doing.)
He just. Completely moved on from Toriel without a second thought seemingly, and doesn't even look that affected by seeing her turn up again - meanwhile SHE'S got crumpled up tea recipes in the trash and all the Sad Divorced Energy - it doesn't really fit either of them! Toriel wasn't really given a reason to miss him like that, and I think even if he DID fully move on, he'd be way happier to see her than that.
All his leading statements on how she must feel in LV1 pacifist sucked ass also, especially with the way she kinda just agreed that yeah, she feels like shit for not trusting that he'd suddenly do a 180 and not hurt anyone (AGAIN. AFTER HE CONTINUED TO LET EVERYONE BELIEVE THIS) and that she must feel unworthy of being a mother. She hadn't even said half of this in front of him yet! He put words in her mouth! That in itself would be fine (social blunders are pretty normal for asgore after all) but it... Wasn't treated like that. It was handled as if this was a sweet and compassionate thing for him to say which... Yikes.
And ofc he gets to adopt frisk, and monster kid, and get to have Asriel live with him! His fatherhood is never called to question in undertale, but ofc Toriel's motherhood has to be here. Hell, despite their divorced status, if you talk to gerson in tpe it's highly implied frisk asks if asgore would start aging again if he became their dad! Idk, all of this part just reeked of Toriel hate and nothing more. Asgore is just yet another character to get sanded down and de-clawed and it sucks. So much of what makes him interesting is his mistakes and flaws and how they impact him, y'know?
Twinkly
I wanna start this by saying I don't think his writing is too bad. It's not amazing by any means but by outertale standards, he's one of the better written characters. That being said, Flowey is my favourite character of all time so I'm still gonna be critical.
So they did save the goat. Save the goat aus really aren't my thing nowadays - I feel like so often people act like he's a separate person to Flowey entirely and act like the alarm clock app dialogue doesn't exist. Asriel didn't end the story as a doomed tragedy fated to fade away! Flowey ended the story as someone who finally got closure on the loss of his best friend, and can finally learn to move on, even if it takes him a while to adjust. I don't think he needs to be a goat again for that.
That being said, I know these kinda aus are a big wish fulfilment thing for a lot of the fandom that aren't even necessarily something people want to be canon as much as they just wanna explore the idea and see him truly happy, so I won't judge that element too harshly. People are allowed to have fun, and I think save the goat can be fine if it respects him as flowey rather than separating them.
I really like that they allow Asriel to be fucked up and an asshole rather than him soft rebooting into some Sweet Perfect Little Prince once he returns to his old form, like so many other save the goat takes. Even in lv0's ending he struggles to bite back insults and mean comments aimed at Monster Kid which is... Admittedly kinda refreshing! There's definitely some flowey (or I guess in this case, twinkly) behaviour that still comes through here and I'm glad. This carried over to chaotic, too. While his characterisation wasn't perfect, this at least felt like twinkly obtaining a few form and continuing to play with the world, rather than your standard Asriel take. I also really liked that he remembers and acknowledges chaotic if done before pacifist, that was neat and adds to his character (as far as this game goes) I think.
However, onto the biggest, glaring issue I have with him.
Why. Why does he exist.
No, seriously.
In its attempt to make the world perfect, a world that blatantly only exists so the creator could make a save the goat ending, mind, there's no reason for the goat to need to be saved at all. Nor for him to exist after dying back when Chara lived with the dreemurrs.
Asgore isn't killing humans, so the souls don't need to be absorbed by anyone. Frisk can just enter the archive and lend their power to destroy the forcefield themselves, so there's no ultimatum like there is in undertale - there's no implied tradeoff of Frisk's life for the freedom of monsters without twinkly's intervention. In undertale, flowey's messing around opened up an ending that would've otherwise been impossible, something that worked for everyone.
Without him existing at all here, frisk could've broken the barrier just fine. All it really added to pacifist was a couple extra boss fights and asgore being dead for two minutes. And him being saved I guess but again, there's no real story justification for him being here EXCEPT to pat yourself on the back for saving him.
Why was he created? In undertale it's pretty clear - they wanted a vessel to hold all the souls in for now during the true lab experiments. He exists because Alphys selected the first flower to ever grow in the garden and injected it with determination that she extracted from the human souls.
... But all the humans are... Alive and well in outertale? They don't need a vessel to contain their souls. They don't need to extract any determination from anyone. Again, why do they HAVE vials of determination? And why did she inject one into a flower?
AND THAT'S THE OTHER BIG THING. It's established she and sans injected a starling flower for... Whatever reason. SO WHY THE HELL IS TWINKLY A CARTOON STAR?!
This point makes absolutely no sense at all. He looks absolutely nothing like a starling flower nor does he behave like a flower at all, which is confusing if that's what he started as. Honestly, I think it would've made more sense to just keep him as Flowey if they were gonna include him at all, and just have his appearance reflect a starling flower instead of a golden flower.
This applies to his fight too. Mechanically I think it's AWESOME, but the visuals are... Just very very boring. A huge part of why his fight in the original is so good it's the bizarre and chaotic nature of it, the horror elements, and the way so much of flowey's trauma in terms of how he was created and the things he finds scary was put on blast for all to see. The combination of mechanical and organic elements, all the plants and insects... Idk, just going 'hmm he's a star. Let's have him go through a star life cycle' is boring, there's no visual appeal.
If his creation is so vague and wishy washy, this would've been a great opportunity to flesh it out more. How was he created? What kinds of technology and machinery did alphys use to put all this together? How did she (or roman????? unclear) get the determination? What does twinkly remember?
That leads me onto a tangentially related topic - his trauma. I... Don't think this was shown very well. He talks a bit about BEING traumatised from the lab, but telling isn't the same as showing and canon flowey is terrible at hiding it, whereas I'd just as easily believe outertale Asriel made it up for sympathy points. He never really projects, he doesn't force anyone else to experience anything like he did, nothing like that. He's just a cocky asshole who likes killing, and who eventually decides to start being nice.
This game constantly seemed to be speedrunning ways to get him from being twinkly to being Asriel as quickly as possible in almost every single route which... Huh???? It's weird. Would've been nice to let him be a star more rather than just Asriel...
(final amendment bc I lost a huge chunk of this essay originally and had to rewrite it, and I'm realising I didn't manage to fit this in this time... How does a single monster soul let him get his Asriel form again? Sure he's still treated as if soulless and it doesn't make him a good person, but if he was 'so tired of being a star', why hadn't he tried doing this sooner? It makes no sense...)
For a game that exists to give him a good ending, it's so ironic how little he needs to exist at all in this world. Just goes to show what it looks like when you go too far with 'fixing' things or removing stuff you seem 'too problematic' for the sake of being wholesome or whatever.
Chara
Speaking of which... Look I'm just gonna say it. This version of Chara sucks so bad.
Chara is one of my favourite characters - they're really interesting, morally grey, and a fascinating way for undertale as a game to interface with us as players.
They're a child who likely saw the worst of humanity, then found themselves in a home with family who genuinely loved them once they fell down and met the monsters. Their intense saviour complex made them feel like the best way to help their family was to sacrifice their own life to get enough souls to break them free (and once they realised they had control, get payback against the humans while they were at it). They could be mean-spirited and a prankster. They valued efficiency HIGHLY. Their favourite number was nine because it's the limit, the absolute, a way to stop hurting and to stop others hurting.
And by doing geno, you can push this fixation on stats further. Max out all your stats. Gain power. Get stronger. Become invincible. Nobody can hurt any more if the world is gone. And ofc, they stand as the final arbiter of consequences for the player. Your punishment for killing everyone and for pushing them into believing it needs to be completed. Chara both IS is and is separate from us in a way that can't really be fully disentangled and it's really, really cool.
Anyway, enough gushing about undertale Chara. What's outertale Chara in comparison?
... Nothing.
They're nothing.
Outertale Chara narrates occasionally. They're a ghost that follows frisk around, but aren't confined to that, and have been actively wandering the underground since their death. They also still have a SOUL for some reason? This part doesn't really make sense at all.
Other than sacrificing themself and maybe wanting to take out a few humans after Asriel absorbs them, they don't do anything that could be considered bad ever. The most devious thing they ever do is snatch Asriel's diary to leave a silly comment in there when they first arrive at the outpost (sans does this with Toriel's phone in undertale tpe for comparison lmao). Despite what Asriel seems to believe, Chara is completely absent from the chaotic route - never getting corrupted, never caring about our stats, never wanting to hurt anyone, never even trying to make us face any consequences. They're just... Not here. For a character so prevalent in the murder based route of undertale this is fucking wild.
They all but vanish if you so much as say something slightly mean to someone, too! It's strange, makes no sense, and just like with sans, it feels like they overcompensated waaaaaaay too much for the people who insist they're evil. On top of that, if you do chaotic before lv0, they don't even remember chaotic happening! They'd may as well have just been a member of the ghost family who likes following Frisk around when they're especially nice. Like Asgore and alphys, they've been sanded down and de-clawed to be 'wholesome' and 'perfect', and it just results in a bland, boring character who loses anything that made them interesting, nuanced and fun.
'Chara wasn't the greatest person'... Why, though? They don't have enough substance in this game for that line to really have as much impact.
Frisk
I'm gonna be honest - I actually ADORED their frisk at first, and I think that's because I started with a neutral run and ended up drawing them a lot. They felt silly and mischievous and interesting, and this continued into chaotic. They seem pretty chill with what's going on but then take that even further by being hilariously affectionate with Asriel and still doing silly things like being up for picking up the electrodampening fluid or drinking directly out of the fountain. They felt like a funny little mini-kris (save for being okay with all the murder ofc).
Then uhhhhhhh... That's when I experienced the second chaotic ending, the one without Asriel, as well as lv0. I feel like they definitely DID try to lean on the Kris angle on purpose in terms of their feelings on being controlled and stuff but it???? Just doesn't work very well? There's no ambiguity to this version of frisk once you've seen all the routes. Just like EVERYONE ELSE, they're just a perfect little angel who would never do anything wrong and anything past lv0 is just the eeeeeevil player influence or whatever. Come on, we have deltarune for that kinda approach to control 😭 (though even then, Kris is a layered and interesting character who isn't goodness and innocence personalised, and that's why they're cool)
In undertale, we have no idea what frisk is like as a person. WOULD they spare everyone without our influence? Would they kill? Would they be a scared child lashing out in self defense? Would they run from everything, then give up and let themselves die permanently somewhere? We just don't know! We're not supposed to know! It feels like it went back to the very early fandom interpretation where frisk is Good And Sweet and Innocent while Chara is evil incarnate - except this time they're BOTH the former.
It's a contradiction too! Why in the Asriel chaotic route are they so down to follow him, and pet him, and hug him every chance they get if they don't like all the stuff we're making them so? The player has no influence over Twinkly. Every single thing he did, he chose to do, and yet even if the only time frisk has seen him was him destroying their mercy button and forcing them to kill for him, they seem to love him to pieces and go along with whatever he says happily. What.
I feel like they didn't know what to do with Frisk here at all and it shows.
Other characters
This has been ridiculously long, but to quickly go over non-major characters... They did very few things to make Roman seem interesting, the amount of stuff hes implied to have helped Asgore with just reduces even further any influence or impact alphys had, and (a smaller nitpick)... Why didn't he use times new roman as a font when we DID see him speak in the archive/on the signal stars? It's such a missed opportunity...
Burgerpants was fun... Kinda. Developing him like this feels like something that should've happened DURING the actual game rather than before it though because it made him feel like a whole other person entirely? The poisoned food was very funny though.
Why is Snowy now Stardrake when his dad hasn't changed at all and Crystal looks like any other snowdrake? That was bizarre.
I actually really liked the humans! Establishing them as actual characters was really fun, and I especially like justice. Justice, at least in my opinion, is probably the most interesting character in this whole game tbh - someone who tried to do good but ultimately caused more harm than good, while NOT downplaying it, showing the consequences directly, and showing them work to try to make things better. The way we don't grab their item like the others in the twinkly fight nor go through an area for them in the archive (and just talk to them instead) really adds to their intrigue - what are they like? Who did they know? Is there something they don't want us to see? How are they strong enough to not need us to grab their weapon at all to lend their help? I think it's get funny that the only character I'm fully praising is the clover-adjacent one. Justice outertale they could never make me hate you
(that being said... seeing the way this game is clearly just supposed to be a 'fix' for undertale does sour my thoughts on the humans a little. did they only do this bc they thought them NOT being full characters in ut was bad/a problem with it? 🥴 This applies to the additional monster kid story focus too).
Speaking of monster kid... Them being an orphan was clearly just a plot device to give asgore more kids and therefore feel like he won more than Toriel. Monster kid in undertale seems like they probably did have real and loving parents, and they have a sister too!!!! Would've been nice if they'd at least done something with their sister :(
This got... Way longer than I expected, so I'll stop here. But outertale definitely gave me an even bigger appreciation for other ut fangames. My gripes with deltatraveler section 3 feel much smaller in comparison now, if tsus misses the mark on Flowey later down the line they've at least already done most characters so much more justice, and it really puts into perspective all the heart and soul that went into kissy cutie, as well as its genuine love got the source material and characters.
Sorry outertale, you weren't for me. That being said, if anyone disagrees with any of this then that's fine! These are all just my opinions and feelings on it after going through all the routes and talking about it with friends. Media is always gonna resonate with different people in different ways and that's a good thing! If your perspective on any of this is different and if you had way more fun with it, I'm glad you did and I genuinely wish I could've felt the same. I feel like at the very least, making it has probably been a great learning experience for the devs and I really hope they carry on making games and improving their skills. Hope y'all are thriving and having fun regardless 💙
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mrprettywhenhecries · 1 year ago
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Interesting things I've learned about Billy and Max from reading the Runaway Max novel
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Thought these would be worth sharing for those who haven't read the book, but like me, crave more Max & Billy backstory/lore.
Billy antis DNI
putting under a cut for spoilers
Billy's dad was a security guard at the bank where Susan Mayfield worked as a teller in San Diego, and that's how they met.
Max's mom has not so great taste in men, so compared to the other losers she dated, Neil seemed way better in comparison, at least at first.
Neil thinks Reagan is "the best thing to happen to America since Eisenhower". Figures.
The first time Max met Billy she thought he was super cool because he had an earring.
Max really hoped Billy would be a good brother to her 😢
Billy's car smells like hairspray and cigarettes. That tracks lol
Max's dad sounds super cool, but I can understand why Susan divorced him. He was into some kinda shady shit.
Billy's never been in a serious relationship. He dated a different girl every week, but seemed pretty disdainful of them all. -- "It was like he hated them, except he still took them up to the Sunset Cliffs to make out." Though honestly, it seems like Billy's just disdainful of everyone.
Once Billy got in trouble with the cops for trespassing at a construction site with his friends and Neil gave him the choice of losing his car for two months or signing up for junior ROTC and Billy willingly gave up his car.
Like Tommy, the main reason Billy hung out with his "friends" in California was because they basically just did whatever he said.
After Tina's Halloween party, Neil went off on Billy when he got home for not picking up Max after trick or treating (plus coming back drunk/high). Max left the room, but could still hear Neil hitting Billy. She tries not to care, but she still does. 🥲
Billy canonically works on his own car 🥵
Once Billy Max a cigarette after she told him smoking was bad for him. Susan caught them and went off on Billy, though he thought it was funny. However when Neil got home, asking what was going on, Susan lied, telling him it was nothing. Max had expected her to rat Billy out, but she didn’t. It was then than she realized that her mom wasn’t afraid of Billy, that she was afraid for him.
The first time Max had seen Neil actually hit Billy was after he’d gotten a speeding ticket. Her mom left the room and Max half expected Neil to stop when he realized that Max was still there, but when he took off his belt to use it, Max yelled at him to stop.
Neil only used her outburst to taunt Billy, saying he was weak and needed a girl to stand up for him.
After it was over, Max asked if Billy was okay, but he turned on her, embarrassed that she’d seen, and told her to get away from him. That’s when Max’s illusion that the two of them were in this together was broken.
When Billy said “You know what happens when I get angry. I break things.” is a reference to him breaking Max’s friend Nate’s arm because Nate had stood up for Max.
Billy had said it was an accident, that he’d been showing the boy a wrestling move that went awry, and the adults believed him.
Afterwards, Max's friends avoided her.
When their parents decided to move to Hawkins, they gave a lot of excuses for why—a new start, to get Billy away from his bad friends, to give Max more room to run around and be active—but it was really because Billy was acting out so much and they didn’t know how else to control him.
When Neil and Susan told Max and Billy they were moving to Hawkins bc the bank gave Neil a transfer, Billy cornered Max later in the laundry room and grabbed her by the arm. He blamed her for the move, thinking she’d told them the real reason behind her friend’s broken arm. She denied it, but Billy didn’t believe her.
The day that Billy saw Max with Lucas at the arcade he backs over her skateboard with his car ‘on accident’ but she knows it was his punishment.
Neil tells them that Billy will have to drive her around from now on, though he’d basically been doing so already.
Max decides to try to run away to her dad again, this time from Indiana, but she needed a lot more money for a bus ticket. She asked her mom for some money to go clothes shopping and her mom believed her. However, after Lucas showed up at the house asking her to come with him, she decides to stay in Hawkins.
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Overall, it was a good read, a little hard to read at times during the abuse scenes, but I appreciated the back story and the insight into the characters. I was kinda hoping however that there'd be more info about what happened after Max knocked Billy out with the tranquilizer.
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