#it would be fun to give myself little themes like
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yellowhollyhock · 4 months ago
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I actually hit the tag max so I have to say this part in reblogs
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FLOWERS THERE ARE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT COULD TAKE YOU LIFETIMES TO STUDY IN DEPTH AND CATALOG EVERY KIND OF FLOWER. AND YOU COULD DO THAT WITH BIRDS AND RODENTS AND CATS AND FROGS AND MUSHROOMS AND ROCKS
And that's not even getting into learning how to build stuff, lifetimes, LIFETIMES, to perfect every hobby that ever sparks joy, EVER. NO TIME CONSTRAINTS
And grief is just another beautiful part of that. Every person you meet is an exciting new incredibly complex and deeply worthwhile topic of study. You'll remember them after no one else does, you'll love them forever and ever and ever, you are their voice decades decades decades after they're gone. Does it ever stop hurting? And if it does is that better or worse? Isn't it wonderful to feel alive enough for the absence to sting? Isn't it wonderful to be alive?
I would do this forever I would do this forever I would do this forever I would do this forever
.... wait am I already insane ?
#there has been so much art made even if i just limit myself to the twentieth century#so much to study#also i could soend decades at a time just sitting in the grass for most of the day#getting attached to people and then losing them would be hard but that literally gonna happen anyway#and if i have all the time in the world i can be selective about who i get attached to#perfect every recipe#follow through with every fic idea#learn to sew#learn all the instruments#there is literally so much to do like I don't even think I'd travel very often#it would be fun to give myself little themes like#if humans live ~80 years then every 80 years I'd give myself different little things#like 'in this lifetime my word is Flexibility my animal is Hummingbirds my favorite food is Spinach my color is Pink#and then for the next eighty years I'd pick different things#also you'd notice patterns in human behavior and i'm obsessed with that#and even 'knowing' history having 'been there' you can't be everywhere at once so there's still so much to learn#and it would be so fascinating to study the histiography of events you're familiar with#and and and the music guys!#i feel like i would alternate between purposely taking an interest in whatever's popular at the time to fully immerse in the social#experience and keep myself grounded#and purposely being obsessed with music styles that no one currently likes to be the Weird Guy broadening friends' horizons#testing if and how I can bring stuff back#anyways I don't think I'm built thag different#I think about 60% of you haven't put enough thought into how much fun this could be#and don't have enough confidence in your ability to experience and heal from trauma of all kinds#idk maybe it's good if you don't develop that specific type of confidence#especially since we are not immortal#the entire spectrum of human emotion is divine nonetheless i hope your brief life is lacking in sorrow#that's enough tags yellow#tw caps
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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malachitezmeyka · 10 months ago
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Honestly I’d really like to make some kind of MLP AU or redesign/rewrite or whatever else of the sort because MLP was essentially my first fandom and it’s extremely nostalgic to me, but I’ve seen so many people do it already and have found myself physically incapable of producing something that isn’t blatantly copying what other people have done :/
#and yeah yeah I know that nothing in the world is truly original and everyone’s inspired by something#but I want to make smth that isn’t rehashing what I’ve already seen#and it’s hard bc redesigns and aus are kinda all the rage right now#and no I’m not talking about those infection aus bc while those are really cool and I’m not interested in making my own#I’m a really squeamish person. to the point I even avoid sick fics most of the time#so while I enjoy seeing a lot of those aus because I too had a creepypasta phase and it reminds me of cupcakes and rainbow factory vibe-wise#I’d probably throw up if I had to draw smth like that myself 😅#anyway. what I meant is some kind of rewrite where I’d get to explore themes that interest me more#maybe dig a little deeper than the earlier seasons of the show could afford in certain places#like coming up with a clearer reason for aj’s parents’ deaths. for instance#and also making next gens is basically my modus operandi at this point so while I’m not really interested in making kids for the mane 6#I’d like to redesign them + their families to get to play with genetics a little.#but again. I’ve seen a lot of redesigns over the years and I’m afraid they would influence me too much for my liking#only reason I’m so worried is because last year I did doodle some ideas a little. for the CMCs in particular#and suddenly realised they were basically the grand galloping 20s au designs poorly drawn from memory in my style#and any ideas re: redesigning the actual pony species are essentially ripped off from skyscraper gods#as are some concepts about becoming an alicorn/gaining immortality and all hat#so… yeah. no#idk. I’ll think about it some more and maybe I can come up with some cool ideas that I can string together in some way#it might be really fun and would also give me a chance to let my sotrl hyperfixation rest a little#don’t get me wrong. I love the universe Kat and I created and my OCs and everything. but I’ve been going at it non stop for almost 4 years#sooner or later it’ll burn me out and I won’t be able to come up with anything for it anymore#and I literally don’t draw anything BUT sotrl#so it’d be nice to branch out a little. maybe I’ll finally feel less like I’m screaming into the void with my incredibly niche OCs#again. I don’t know. we’ll see if I’m struck with inspiration or smth#also coming up with ideas is like half of the problem lmao. horses are really hard to draw#even cartoon ones 😭😭 I was hyperfixated on mlp for most of my childhood and still never mastered it#I can barely draw humans lower than shoulder level let alone horses. but I’ll figure it out if I get a concrete au idea#okay I’ve been rambling for like half an hour. rant over I’m done
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so-many-ocs · 4 months ago
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practical writing advice
part 2
avoid writing in bed if you can. writing in bed is the mind-killer. writing in bed is the little death that brings obliteration. you may think "but i can write AND be cozy" you will get sleepy so fast. 98% of the time when i try to get a nighttime writing session done in bed i go to sleep. maybe 70% of the time if it's an afternoon writing session. also it fucking kills your wrists.
STRETCH before writing. stretch as many parts of your body as possible ESPECIALLY YOUR WRISTS! i have chronic tendonitis in both of my arms from not doing this and it is manageable but it is Not Fun!
plug your phone in on the other side of the room. better yet, plug it in and leave it in another room. better yet, power it off and leave it in another room. "i'll just check one quick thing" do not underestimate the power of the doomscroll.
do a warmup. look up writing prompts (i like one-word prompts or prompts that focus on a general theme as it's easier to integrate into my writing style), set a timer for fifteen minutes, or ten, or five, and go ham. make it shitty or incomprehensible, as long as you make it. create a dump document for all your warmups. i currently have two novels in the works that started as one of these fifteen minute little warmups.
pick your background noise ahead of time if you use it, and look for something long. i listen to 3-hour-long silent hill ambient mixes on youtube dot com.
take breaks. around every 45 minutes, as i'm noticing myself begin to lose focus, i get up, grab a drink, get my blood flowing, and give myself some space to breathe.
sometimes i sit down to write and i think "every atom in my body is averse to doing this right now. i would rather dance barefoot on a bed of nails than open my laptop and start typing." and you know what i do? i go do something else instead. don't force it! it will become a chore.
that being said! write as often as possible. try to write every day. try to write at the same time. don't beat yourself up if you can’t, BUT the more often you write, the more often you'll want to write.
if you're stuck on a scene or a page or a chapter, go back to the last place where you felt like you knew what you were doing and start writing from there. keep a copy of your other writing in case you want to reuse it or refer back!
i don't know if this is something that will be helpful for other people but i start mentally preparing myself for my writing session a few hours ahead of time. i will say to myself, "today, at this time, i'm gonna sit down and write that scene where mina walks out on her book club, and it's going to be awesome and i'm looking forward to it." then, by the time i actually begin, i basically have the whole thing written out in my head and can just put it down to paper. it's a good way to at least kickstart the session !
ok thanks bye
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bbydoll18xx · 7 months ago
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Keep the Edits Cordial
A tik tok edit of two best friends coaxes out admissions of feelings (and orgasms)
Paige Bueckers x reader
word count: 3.2k
themes: mutual pining (LOML), friends to lovers, smut!!
warnings: i like using the word ‘fuck’, 18+
Thanks for the love on my first post! This is my first attempt at writing smut, so bear with me. I have a few more ideas if y'all are interested!
Despite not being on the uconn’s women's basketball team, or having any shred of athletic ability, you had befriended Paige Bueckers, and her teammates, as an extension, had adopted you with open arms. So you weren't out of place sitting in the apartment of Paige and several of her teammates while she was in class.
“Oh fuck, shit, shit, shit,” you hear KK Arnold swear over on the couch across from where you were sitting, attempting to get some homework done.
A sensual R&B song plays from her phone several times, as her eyes nearly pop out of her head while she watches.
You look up, mildly annoyed at the noise, but you were used to KK’s antics and her overdramatics. 
“What the hell is the issue?” you ask.
“Umm…nothing,” she drawls. “Be right back, girly pop. Don’t move.” She runs into Azzi’s room, where Azzi and Caroline were attempting to also be productive. 
That was damn near impossible when KK was around.
Your interest peaks as you hear the same music play from KK’s phone again several times over and the giggles and gasps of the three girls fill the bedroom. 
“Paige is gonna flip if she sees this,” Azzi says matter-of-factly, as you strain to hear the full conversation.
‘What would make Paige flip?’ you wonder. 
“I gotta show this to Ice!” You hear KK exclaim a little too loudly, causing the other two girls to shush her. 
KK runs back into the main living space of the apartment where you were sitting. She picks up her stuff with a shit-eating grin before waving to you and rushing out the door.
She was so fucking weird.
Giving up on the essay you were supposed to be finishing, you toss your laptop down and head into the bedroom where Caroline and Azzi are heatedly whispering. They stop as soon as your footsteps near the door. 
Why were they acting so suspicious?
“Ladies, would you mind telling me what the actual fuck just happened?” you ask sarcastically. Being out of the loop was not fun.
“Oh you know, just KK being KK,” Azzi said, brushing it off. “Nothing that concerns you really.”
“But it concerns Paige?” you prod, trying to get any information out of her. Being around Azzi for years at this point, you had grown to learn her weak spots. 
Your eyes narrow, and you stare her down in a way you could only hope was somewhat threatening. 
“If it concerns Paige I wanna know. We’re best friends, c’mon please,” you whine. “Is it another one of those thirsty edits?��� 
Azzi shakes her head and makes a zip of the lip motion. 
You roll your eyes at her childish behavior and look over to Caroline expectantly. She just shrugs. They were no help at all.
“Fine!” You say with a tone of indignation. “I'll find that stupid tik tok myself and see what all the fuss is about.” You spin on your heels and walk out of the room with sheer determination. You miss the smirk Azzi and Caroline share once your back is turned. 
You were so fucked.
You type ‘Paige Bueckers’ into the tik tok search bar and begin to scroll with the volume up to identify the same sound blasting out of KK’s phone just a minute ago. 
Your head gets a little fuzzy as your vision is assaulted with video upon video of Paige. You were used to calming the jump of your heart when you were around her, but the hedonistic edits made you want to scream. Each edit you came to had clips of her flexing, grinning, and sticking her tongue out in a way that made you want to rub your thighs together. They were paired with lascivious lyrics that caused you to nearly let out a whine. 
You had been avoiding tik tok recently for this exact reason. Trying to act normal around Paige all the time was difficult enough. You did not need a ridiculous app to fuel the fantasies that threatened to creep into your mind at every waking moment.
At least your screen time was way down.
Your scrolling quickly stopped as you felt your heart quite literally stop. It was you. In all its glory, with a staggering amount of likes, comments, and views, was what looked to be an edit of you and Paige.
What the fuck?
Your hands shaking, you clicked onto it, hearing the same song as earlier. This was the one the girls were freaking out about. 
“Azzi, Caroline, get your asses out here,” you yell, trying to conceal your panic.
They slowly strolled out of the room looking worried. 
“I see you found it,” Azzi said with a laugh. “So what do you think now that you’ve seen it?” 
Both girls tried to gauge your reaction, but you were more concerned about the fact that Azzi had said earlier that Paige would be pissed about it.
You shrug. You had to choose your words carefully. “Well there are edits of you and Paige together,” you reason. “Lots of people think you two are in some secret relationship, and P has never minded. Why would this be any different?” 
“Everyone knows that you and Paige have a special friendship,” Caroline alludes. It goes right over your head.
“Well if she is bothered by this then we are not as close as I thought,” you say quietly, still watching the tik tok, as it plays again. You wanted this edit burned into your retinas. 
Occasionally you allowed yourself to feel a tiny sliver of hope that you and Paige could ever be anything more than friends. Everytime she gave you a late night cuddle or placed a hand around your waist, as if it naturally belonged there, made you long for more. You knew better than to feel hopeful though. This stupid edit did nothing to quell the burning need for the tall blonde.
Throwing your phone down, you look up at the two basketball players with a look of indifference you’ve learned to master. “It doesn’t even matter,” you whisper dejectedly.
“C’mon, we all know how you actually feel about Paige. She’s the only one dense enough not to see how crazy you are for her,” Azzi soothes. “Maybe it's time to be honest with her. You never know what she’s feeling until you talk to her.”
You laugh. Fuck that. Feelings are meant to be kept inside until you die or they go away. 
You’re hoping the latter will come sooner rather than later, but you doubt you'll get that lucky.
“I don't think so,” you scoff. “I need to go before Paige gets back.” 
You leave despite the protests of the two girls, and you make a plan to hide from Paige for the next few days. You knew it was only a matter of time before Ice and KK went running to Paige to show her the edit. 
45 fucking minutes. That was how long it took before your door was being bombarded by Paige and her delightfully rambunctious children, Ice and KK. You swore under your breath as you quickly weighed your options. Option 1 was simple: pretend you were gone, although the smell of your microwave popcorn could have easily given you away. Option 2 was the grown up thing to do: open the door and have a conversation like an adult. Option 3 was straight up crazy: jump out of the window and run for the damn hills. You glanced at the open window of your bedroom before shaking your head. You needed to stop watching too much television. 
Option 1 was it. Fuck being an adult.
You stood next to the door, waiting for the three girls to give up, but they refused to leave.
“I know you’re in there, c’mon let me just talk to you,” said Paige through the door. “KK and Ice can leave.”
You hesitate, but still reach for the knob of the door. 
“Please?” Paige asks again, causing you to let out a sigh of defeat and turn the lock so she can come in. 
“Are you pissed?” Paige questions, somewhat harshly, as she walks through your door.
You give her a look of confusion. 
“Of course not!” you exclaim. “I thought you might be, though. I heard Azzi tell KK and Caroline earlier that you would flip if you saw it. I was just worried it would make you feel uncomfortable, and then our friendship would feel awkward, and I-” you ramble, trying to make some sense of what you were feeling.
Paige cuts you off with a wave of her hand. “You could never make me feel uncomfortable. I was worried it made you uncomfortable. I wanted to come check on you as soon as KK showed it to me,” she replied gently. “Me and Azzi, we’re used to the rumors, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about people thinking we’re, ya know, in love.” She whispers the last two words as if it was some big secret.
You let out a shaky laugh. “It means nothing to me. That would be ridiculous anyway,” you lie smoothly. Burying your feelings for Paige was an artform for you now. 
A quick shadow of something that was hard to read flickered over Paige’s face. You chose to ignore it. ‘It’s easier that way, less messy and complicated,’ you thought sadly. Little did you know, things would get even messier and more complicated. 
Two days later you were sitting in class when you hear the same fucking R&B song playing from your classmates phone. You look over at her, meeting her eyes. She smirks and slides closer to you. 
“So you and Paige Bueckers, huh?” she says curiously, almost like a taunt. “I’d imagine she’s incredible in bed.”
Her hypothesis startles you.
Who the fuck says that to someone they barely know? You feel your pulse rise in anger, wanting to defend your friend. You feel hot with jealousy. Anyone thinking about your Paigey in a sexual manner made your blood boil. In your mind, she was only yours.
You decided it would be fun to play into it. You lean closer to the gossipy bitch, and with a whisper you say, “you have no idea the things she does to me. Fuckk, I mean, we’ve all seen the edits. Her tongue is always out.” The obnoxious brunette to your left looks shocked, and she rolls her chair further away from you. 
With a satisfied smirk, you try to calm the pounding of your heart. ‘What the fuck did I just do,’ you thought. Rule number 1 of being Paige’s friend and only her friend was to avoid thinking of her in the way you really want to. That means no fantasizing, no tik tok edits, and absolutely no talking about having sex with her.
You lay your head onto the desk. What an idiot you were.
As the class comes to a close, you escape quickly to avoid any awkward looks from other people on campus. The last few days have left you feeling unsettled as the edit of you and Paige reached ridiculous levels of popularity. Everyone was now thinking you were somehow involved. You hated how much you wished that to be true.
You had promised Paige that you would hang out once you were finished with your class, trying to keep a semblance of normalcy to your friendship. You rolled into her apartment anxiously, calling out for her. Paige pokes her head out of her bedroom, waving you in with an equally anxious smile.
This worries you. Paige was always the grounded one of the pair of you. Her nervous demeanor makes you think something is wrong. You take a deep breath before sitting opposite her on her bed. It smelled like the lotion she always wears, and you subconsciously inhale a bit longer than normal.
Fuck she smells so good.
Paige stares at you for a few seconds, making you feel hot under her gaze. Those eyes piercing into your soul made you want to scream her name until the neighbors could hear. She takes a breath. “So basically everyone thinks we’re in love,” she deadpans. Her nonchalance makes you squirm. How the hell does she feel about being uconn’s newest gossip train? It's hard to tell.
“Yeah, I kind of figured when I was just asked in class about how you are in bed,” you mutter, blushing at the confession.
Paige looks vaguely surprised at first, before replacing the look with a smirk. “What’d you tell ‘em?” she questions.
With a sudden surge of confidence that you typically only get from ample amounts of alcohol, you reply, “I told her that all those edits of you with your tongue sticking out could only mean one thing.”
Paige grins cheekily. “You’re not wrong. I am great with my tongue. Maybe one day I can show you.”
You think your heart had never beat this fast in your entire fucking life. You were still feeling particularly bold, so you murmur, “I’m free now?” There was no way Paige was going to agree to that, so you get up to leave, before you feel her hand grab yours, pulling you back into her.
“Don’t fucking play with me right now,” Paige demands. “Do you actually want this? Do you want me?” 
You nod your head embarrassingly fast. You felt like an overexcited puppy. “P, I’ve wanted this since the first time I saw you.”
“Good,” the blonde replies. “Me too. Now let me show you all of my little tongue tricks.”
Paige grabs your jaw with one hand, placing the other around your throat to keep you right where she wanted you. Your lips meet finally, and everything around you fades into nothingness. 
Oh my God, she tastes so good. Paige presses hot, open-mouth kisses down your throat, sending shivers through your whole body and right down between your legs.
“Need you naked for me, babe,” hums Paige. ‘For her you would fight a war,’ you thought, as you stripped your sweatshirt off, revealing the pretty pink lace of your bralette.
You mentally high five yourself for your underwear choices this morning. Showing up in your granny panties would’ve been terrible.
Paige helps you out of your jeans and starts placing tantalizing kisses over your inner thighs and stomach. You can feel your arousal leaking out of you already, making you feel slick with the anticipation of what was to come.
Paige notices the wet spot on your panties, grinning as she lightly blows air over your clothed pussy. You arch your back wantonly, needing more-so much more. 
“Please, Paigey,” you whine in a way that gives Paige a big head. “Need you so bad.”
“Use your words, baby. What do you need?” she coaxes, still alternating between kissing your inner thighs and swirling her fingers against your clothed clit. 
“Please just touch me, I’ll do anything for you,” you moan brokenly. You could feel yourself start to slip into some sort of subspace. At this point, you’d do anything just to get some more stimulation.
“So polite, aren’t you, babe? I’m gonna take good care of you,” Paige promises before ripping your soaked panties off in one quick motion.
For the first time, you were splayed out naked in front of your best friend, with her having all the power in the world over you. Before you could begin to feel insecure under her piercing gaze, Paige swirled two long fingers into your sopping pussy, admiring how easily turned on you got for her. She brought them up to her mouth, sucking them in and moaning about how good you tasted. 
“You taste as sweet as I’ve been imagining for years,” she whispers. “Have a taste.” She brings the same two fingers up to your mouth and drags them across your swollen lips.
You lick your lips and groan at the taste of your own arousal, wiggling around on the bed and humping the air to get any sort of pleasure. Paige presses your hips flush against the mattress, keeping you from moving. She was yours to control as she wished. Finally, she brought her mouth down to your burning heat, starting with a long and slow lick up your pussy. It felt so good you could cry.
“More, P, need more,” you cry. She was being a fucking tease, and you could feel yourself go crazy as she ate you out slowly, as if she was eating her last meal on earth.
She granted you some reprieve as she entered a finger and then another into you, slowly stretching you out with scissoring motions. 
“So wet for me, aren’t you my pretty baby,” she gloats, and you try to avoid rolling your eyes back into your head in pleasure. Her fingers pick up a cruel and punishing pace, targeting your g-spot as if it had her name written on it.
She fucking owned you.
Paige, still finger fucking you, presses kisses up your belly, onto your tits, before meeting you in another searing kiss. You want to sob at the sheer pleasure. It was overwhelming; the heat of your best friend’s body pressed flush against you, the moans ricocheting off the walls, and the tightening in your lower belly that threatened to spill everywhere.
“Fuckkk, Paigey, I-i’m gonna cum,” you moan breathlessly. “Please, please let me cum, please I need you,” you whine in an incoherent babble of pleasure. 
“Cum for me, baby, I’ve got you,” Paige pants out, riding the highs of dominating you and ensuring the unceasing assault of your g-spot.
With a guttural moan and a string of words that would make a sailor blush, you ride out your high. Paige’s fingers slow as you pant, coming back to reality. She watches your chest rise and fall a few seconds before removing her fingers from your fucked out pussy and licking them clean.
“You did so good for me,” she praises, causing you to squirm, activating your praise kink once again.
“Thank you,” you whisper. “This isn’t going to make things weird now, is it?” you question anxiously. That was the last thing you wanted to happen.
“‘Course not,” promised Paige, linking her pinky finger with yours. “I’m plannin’ on wifing you up now.”
You giggle as the last bits of awkwardness fall away, feeling blissfully fucked out. “What about you, though?” you ask. You wanted to make Paige feel as good as she made you.
“We’ve got all the time in the world, baby,” she replies. “You look like you’re about five seconds away from fallin’ asleep.”
You smile sleepily at her. She knew you a little too well.
 “I should send a thank you card to whoever made that edit of us,” you murmured against Paige’s chest, making her laugh.
“And I'm definitely getting rid of all three of my vibrators,” you announce, causing Paige to grin proudly.
Paige was unquestionably okay with that.
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v4mp-reads · 11 months ago
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hiii! Can u write Jake Webber being absolutely pussy drunk and then reader giving him so much love it makes him emotional because he’s never been loved so much🫶🏻
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Sorry about the wait on this one needed to clear something up
Don’t cry my love.
Jake Webber x Fem! Reader. Fluffy smut!
18+ MINORS DNI
Warnings: sex drunk jake! , vs face sitting! praise, use of pet names, p n v, unprotected sex ( use PROTECTION PPL) slight d/s themes, soft dom!jake
Word count:1.5k
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Y/ns pov
I was laying in mine and Jake's shared bed waiting on him to finish recording, it was probably twelve am and I could still hear him and Johnnie playing around, it didn't bother me much tho. I scrolled through my phone for a while before Jake fell on the bed beside of me “hi y/n i missed you so much while i was recording, i was thinking that we could cuddle and watch a movie for the rest of the night” he rambled on before i cut him off “come on baby lay down”
He climbed in the bed close to me as I laid my head on his chest. While he was trying to find a movie to turn on, I began to trace over his tattooed arms, this must have turned him on because he slowly shifted his bottom half away from me. I didn't pay much mind to it and I thought he was just trying to get comfortable. We laid there, and watched the movie. I shifted closer to him, throwing my leg over his crotch area, causing him to jump a bit. I could feel his arousal against my leg. I thought it would be fun to see how much I could do before he snapped.
About thirty minutes later, I had moved from using my leg to using my hand to palm him through his sleep shorts, he was letting out soft little moans, they only turned me on more. “Mhmm, my love don't tease” he spoke, I turned to look at him his eyes held a mix of lust and love. “What do you mean? I’m not doing anything wrong” I said softly, “mhmmm, really now, nothing wrong?” He moved me from beside him so that now I was straddling him “now you know better then to play around with me princess” he ran his hand over the thin material of my sleep shorts. “Mhmm, it seemed like you liked it. '' I slowly started rocking my hips to get some form of friction. This was short lived. “No, I want you to completely understand and lay beside me” his voice was soft, yet stern. Causing the warm all too familiar feeling to flood my stomach. I quickly did what he told me, throwing my clothes off to some other part of the room, then returning to lay on the bed.
He slowly climbed over me, taking off his shirt and pants leaving him in just his gray boxers “mhmm. I missed you” I mumbled out softly feeling his hands run up my legs stopping just before he got where I wanted him “please…Jake..please” I begged, that’s all it seemed to take, his hands worked perfectly on my skin, and I softly used his index finger to run slow soft circles around my cilt, causing me to let out a soft moan as I grabbed on to his hair. “Jake..please..I need more” I moved slowly against his finger “mhmmm, I want you to ride my face baby” I moaned at his words before sitting up for him to lay on the bed “ you know what to do baby, I don’t want any of that hovering okay?” I nodded my head “words baby” I put both my knees beside his head “I understand '' I softly lowered myself onto him, instantly letting out a loud moan. He continued to eat me out, his tongue touching every part of my heat, by this point I had started rocking my hips to increase the praise from him. Grabbing a handful of his hair, my moans were loud, mixed with the grown every now and then from Jake. “I-I’m close..Jake please don’t stop” he brought one finger to my very wet hole, softly pushing it in and out “come on baby, cum for me” he went back to eating me out, within moments I felt the knot in my stomach unraveling, he didn’t stop, he continued “Jake- please! Ah” I went to speak but he just pushed another finger into me now curling them, I softly shifted down from his face, so that I could lay on his chest as he continued to finger me. “Jake..I’m close again..” I moaned against his neck, “are you? Is my pretty little girl about to cum for me? Go ahead pretty girl” and with his permission and praise my legs shook and I reached my orgasm again. “Mhmm thank you…thank you so much my love” I stuttered out
I gave myself a few moments. I looked up at him “mhmm baby, can I ride something else” I asked with a smile. He looked at me with a curious expression “what do you mean darling?” I giggled as i pulled him up to a sitting position “mhmm I just want to make you feel good” I trailed my hand from his neck making sure to run my fingers over his newly pierced nipples causing him to let a soft shaky breath, I place small kisses on his neck, trailing down his body before stopping and coming back to kiss him. As we kissed I worked on getting his final layer of clothing off, his dick quickly hitting his stomach “ooo” I cooed at him before once more running my fingers down his chest. “You're so handsome, I don’t know how I won in life to be with you” I told him softly getting closer to his dick. I ran my finger down each and every vein, teasing his tip every now and again watching as he threw his head back in pleasure “mhmm baby.. you like that?” I asked in a almost fake innocence “dont tease y/n” I giggle softly “oh so you would rather me do this? Hmm” I take his dick into my hand pumping it quickly “a-y/n..” he softly lifted his head to look at me “mhmm”
I lifted my self so that I could align him with myself, I lowered myself on this him. He pushed his hips to mine, causing a loud moan to fall from my mouth “Jake, that’s..that’s not fair” I could barely get my words out “let..let me make you feel good please” I asked while moaning. He was always focused on my pleasure, never his own. “Mhmm okay, okay my love” he muttered out as he relaxed against the bed. I quickly bottomed out on him, softly gridding. His hands quickly found my hips as I showed him with praise. “You look so hot, you feel so good” I told him as I quicked myself feeling my own orgasam come closer “mhmmm, Jake, baby im close” i started to lift my hips higher and come back down. I soon reached my orgasm, tho I continued to ride him trough it “mhmm, baby, you just came, you, you can stop” he let out soft moans and I just continued.
He soon got close to his own release I could tell by the way his dick twitched inside of me “close, y/n baby..I’m close” i only rocked my hips faster “im on my pill baby” is all i had to say, he let out another soft moan before finishing inside of me.
We laid there for a bit before I softly moved off him “I’ll get a towel to clean” he went to get up but I softly pushed him down “I’ll taking care tonight” his eyes softened as he nodded. I slowly got up to get things for us to clean up with. It wasn’t long before I climbed back into bed to my Boyfriend “Hi darling” I looked at him with a soft smile “hi my love” he instantly pulled me into a hug. “Baby I need to clean you up” he only shook his head “aww, baby are you a bit pussy drunk? Is that what it is” he only nodded into my neck. We laid there talking about all kinds of things once he finally let me clean him up.
“I love you Jake, I love you so much you have no idea how perfect you are, how funny, and smart, and caring you are” I told him softly “you really think that?” He turned to look at me, I looked at him with a face of almost shock “of course i do darling, look at you, you are so pretty, you care about everyone, you are so funny, so sweet, and you can do some pretty crazy things with those fingers” I giggled at the last part. I looked at him, his eyes full of tears “are you crying?!” I asked “maybe just a little bit” he said pulling me by my waist closer to him. I placed a small kiss on his lips “don’t cry my love”
This took so long to write and literally sucks
Thank you for reading
Xoxo,v4mp-
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flavorcountry · 6 months ago
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I got a cold and watched that Jenny Nicholson video about the Star Wars hotel (it's very good) and fully lost my mind: even after experiencing a comprehensive four-hour deconstruction of why it didn't work for Star Wars, I still think a version of this would absolutely work for Star Trek. Take my hand and walk with me on my journey into madness, where I have infinite money, talent, and team to make it all happen!!
Overall vibe
If you want to make a hotel/resort experience that takes place inside a fake spaceship, I still think Star Trek is the way to go: so much of Star Trek takes place on ships, and we've seen the rooms are pretty nice!! Like the Star Wars one, my Star Trek hotel is also a simulated starship, but with better rooms and more fun stuff to do.
Are you ready for this shit
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Can you tell I drew this myself
You'll arrive at Farpoint Station,* where the concierge checks you in and your luggage gets whisked away by station staff. Gift shop's also here. When you're checked in and ready to head to your room, you're brought to one of several transporter rooms. If you never went to the Star Trek Experience at the Vegas Hilton when it was active, I am truly sorry for you, because they had a ride whose boarding process included getting beamed away: you and your pals were herded into a zone where you were clearly meant to board a run-of-the-mill 20th-century simulator ride, and then there were jets of mist and a sound and suddenly you were in a transporter room on board the goddamn USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D. It was fucking magical and I never, ever want it explained to me. Anyway, that's what happens to you at my Star Trek hotel: you step onto a transporter pad and get beamed from Farpoint to a Galaxy-class Federation starship. Exit the transporter room and walk down the ship's corridor to take the turbolifts to Cargo Bay 1, where a "temporary muster point" has been set up (this is where the guest services desks will be), or just follow the lit-up companel signs to your cabin. Yes, it will look like guest quarters aboard the Enterprise-D, more or less — maybe a little smaller — but it'll have the carpet, the plant, the glass coffee table, and most importantly a window that looks out into space.
Or!!! If you booked the resort, keep heading down the hallway and take another turbolift to a different section of the ship where the holodeck entrances are. The holodecks, naturally, are running a Risa program, so you walk through the doors and under the arch and suddenly you're outdoors looking at a beautiful landscape with a pool and whatnot, plus the resort accommodations where the more conventional fancy rooms are, and also the restaurants and entertainment venues, all themed. There's a Quark's. There's a Klingon bar and grill. A Bolian salon/spa. Talaxian arcade?? Nausicaan axe-throwing pit?!?! Come on!!!!!!!!!
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Here, have a floor plan
Key learnings
Two things stuck out to me that the Star Wars hotel fucked up that I think the Star Trek version can do better:
🤷‍♀️ LARP too complicated: Give 'em credit where it's due, the Star Wars hotel fucking swung for the fences trying to make a multi-hero story guests could integrate with, but it just didn't work. Technical failures! Possible conceptual flaws! Too much stuff packed into the schedule!
The fix: Just make it mostly a hotel most of the time. One or two weekends a month, there's a two-day fully-immersive LARP adventure that people explicitly book separately, and it's more expensive (more on that later). But at all times, hotel staff will be in uniform with division colors that make sense: concierge and guest relations in red, support and janitorial in gold, teal for any medical personnel. I think that means the people working in food services have to wear that plaid/vest combo the Ten-Forward staff have on, but there are certainly worse outfits.
🌴 No resort: The food at the Star Wars hotel was good, but there was no pool and no other luxury resort type stuff to do. It didn't sound relaxing.
The fix: Putting an actual resort in the Star Trek hotel under the guise of a permanently-running Risan holodeck program. The sheer elegance of it!! When the weather is bad, hotel staff in gold uniforms can make apologetic comments about how the sim's malfunctioning.
Roleplay though
People are going to want to stay onboard the ship. That's good! The thing about the ship cabins is you can build them in maybe two semicircular layers (the rooms will need to be curved because these are quarters onboard the saucer section, naturally) and just bury them underground. They don't need real windows — you're putting screens in that'll show a space view, especially when the ship goes to warp and you can see those rainbow trails. Inside the semicircle there's a lot of space where you can put the other, bigger sets: the bridge, main engineering, Ten-Forward, etc. None of those have real windows either, and also I don't think it matters where you put them physically: just stick a pretend turbolift in front of all the entrances and make guests take those whenever they need to go there! One thing we're also doing is putting little hidden speakers everywhere that put out a small amount of shipboard white noise; it may not even be noticeable on a conscious level, but it'll be there and it'll be soothing. This speaker network is also a great way to make an actual announcement if there's a real park emergency.
During most of the month, I think the bridge and main engineering are mostly just photo ops — maybe you have to book a timeslot? Just so you're guaranteed some time with just you and your buddies? But I also think there should be opportunities for what I'm going to call mini-LARPing: you and your pals can book an hour-long session and the staff trains and then runs you through a short scenario. If you've ever played Artemis or the actual Star Trek VR bridge crew game they put out a while ago, you know where I'm going with this: for however long, you and your friends are now the crew of a genuine-ass Federation starship trying to survive a battle! It's fuckin' Kobayashi Maru time, motherfuckers!! Everyone gets their own station! Lights flicker! Mist shoots out of stuff! The whole bridge shakes! There might be a warp core problem — better call down to main engineering! Whoever's down there gets escape room-style minigames and puzzles to work out and help their shipmates. At some point — and this will happen in every run of every scenario — there'll be a very mist-forward "coolant leak" near the warp core that forces whoever's in the room to duck and roll beneath a descending garage-style blast door before heading up to the bridge to activate their station up there; bonus points if the player can work in a "We lost a lot of good people down there, Captain." Maybe there's an actor in makeup who menaces the crew on the main viewer from time to time (pick beforehand from a list of villains! want to fight Klingons? Romulans? a rogue Borg tactical sphere? etc). Can you see it? I can see it, and it fucking rules.
I must at this point mention that in my world, you can buy an add-on where a camera crew joins you, and they cut up the footage afterward to make you and your pals your very own mini-episode. Yes the editing and post-production are expensive and time-consuming; I'm creating jobs here!!!! Maybe …… okay, hear me out: there's an array of hidden fixed cameras and microphones built discreetly into the set, and also players are issued a combadge with an individual RFID tracker that pings the cams and mics, so they only save footage when a player comes close. After the players are done, a machine algorithm uses the data gathered to assemble a rough timeline of each player's material and create a draft movie that a human editor can pick up and fine-tune. Yeah?? When you check out, you get handed a USB drive that looks like an isolinear chip with your mini movie on it, and maybe another one with all the raw footage just in case you're feeling ambitious!!!!
For one or two other weekends during every month, there's a heavily advertised, much more involved, and way spendier LARP for people who really want to get into it. It takes place over two days. There are lots more actors portraying characters necessary for the plot/gameplay. Don't bother packing for the daytime: all players are issued a uniform they get to keep afterward. Do I have any details on the scenario or RP? I do not. But I fully believe it's possible to construct something you could run over the course of a weekend that would keep a hundred paying guests occupied, amused, and delighted, provided you have a truly ridiculous amount of money and people, which I do because this is utter fantasyland.
Also it probably won't cost six grand. Probably??
Let's gooooooooooooo
The rest of the time — and I cannot stress this enough — the Star Trek hotel is just a very heavily and specifically themed all-inclusive resort that has nice, fancy rooms and luxury amenities plus bookable ship cabins and opportunities for photo shoots or quick one-shot roleplay adventures for the real heads. You don't ever have to enter those latter parts if you don't want to! You can just hang out at the resort and have fun with all the themed entertainment, which I must stress is going to be both in-universe plausible and great, with something for everybody. Yes, there'll be a daycare, and yes, Flotter will be there in some capacity to entertain the kids. The food hall is my favorite part by far; I could pitch you Trek restaurant concepts all day. Romulan gourmet soup stand. Gummi candy store staffed by Ferengi where all the offerings are shaped like alien bugs. A vending machine where you can get a jumja stick or a three-pack of those nutrient pucks Picard and his new friends kept getting in "Allegiance." There will be an entire plant-based food vendor with a wide variety of delicious options for all meals, and it will be run by Vulcans.
A word on the gift shop
Question for you: have you ever watched a Star Trek show and seen a Starfleet officer pull on a jacket or shoulder a duffel bag that had the words "STAR TREK" on it? If so, then friend, I want to know where you get your hallucinogens because I want to experience this exactly once. All of the gift shops on my hotel grounds sell responsibly sourced, highly thought-out, well-made items that would be in-world plausible and have no obvious branding. Of course you can get a hand-carved horga'hn, but let's go bigger. Why not a light-up Tox Uthat for your nightstand? Ressikan flute for you, queen? How about a whole-ass knife store that's nothing but various kinds of Klingon cutlery? There will absolutely be an entire tailor's shop whose whole job is to put you in the Starfleet uniform of your choice; there may or may not be a Cardassian managing the place who's got a 50/50 cheerful/menacing vibe going on. There'll be not one but two stores that sell little models of ships: the regular ones and the gold ones. Don't tell me you can't picture it!!!!!
I think that's about it
Thank you for coming along with me on this bespoke journey into 100% insanity; now can somebody put me in touch with the Star Trek licensing people and also give me a billion dollars to build all this? Okay, thanks a lot!!
For timeline purposes and because it's fun, I'm positing a version of Farpoint that got built after the events of the TNG premiere where the Denebians got their act together and just built a normal surface base without suborning an interstellar lifeform.
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hoseoksluna · 1 month ago
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THE FUN DAY, pt. I. | kth ft. pjm
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pairing: idol!military!boyfriend!taehyung x f. reader (ft. best friend!jimin)
genre: fluff, angst — the sad kind
word count: 4.8k
summary: you've prepared a fun day for your boyfriend's military vacation. thank god he's here, right?
pin: f. / playlist: fun / taglist: join / discord: join
warnings: suggestive but not described themes of sex and alcohol consumption.
note: i'm so EXCITED to bring you this fic that i can't wait until tomorrow to post this. everyone welcome TAEHYUNG and JIMIN to the hoseoksluna universe. i have to tell you a secret. taehyung was my first bias when i first became army. taehyungie was the first one to save me from the bunch—literally to resurrect me because in him i found all the things i used to love and fell out of. jazz, poetry, the aesthetics and arts. it is an honor to write about him and i think i will write another taehyung fic next week. if you have any ideas, drop them in my ask box and i will use them for inspiration. this fic is dedicated to my baby ruru @tkslovechild, my tatlim @jjk7k, and the beautiful anon that asked me for a tae fic while i was already working on this one. i love you all so much. enjoy this beautiful piece. <3 mwah.
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𓂃 ౨ৎ .
I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone enough to truly consecrate the hour. I am much too small in this world, yet not small enough to be to you just object and thing, dark and smart. I want my free will and want it accompanying the path which leads to action; and want during times that beg questions, where something is up, to be among those in the know, or else be alone.
I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection, never be blind or too old to uphold your weighty wavering reflection. I want to unfold. Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent; for there I would be dishonest, untrue. I want my conscience to be true before you; want to describe myself like a picture I observed for a long time, one close up, like a new word I learned and embraced, like the everday jug, like my mother's face, like a ship that carried me along through the deadliest storm.
𓂃 ౨ৎ . — I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone by Rainer Maria Rilke
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It was your love language, to dress up like your boyfriend. 
Dress pants, shirts and jackets. Linen, silk, leather. Pointed heels or oxford shoes. Grays, browns, beiges and whites. It was something that made you happy—and it was something that represented a vessel, made of unbreakable porcelain, for your love that you carried for Taehyung. 
He’s sitting in the corner of your bedroom, on a wooden stool he specifically placed at such a picturesque place. With the ivory curtains drifting along the nape of his neck, sheer enough to expose the small vase of tulips that stoop in a private longing for his touch. He fondles them often to preoccupy his mind when you take your usual long showers and he waits for the fashion shows you give him. He’s the one who says yes or no. These shoes, love. Look, they’re just like mine. And right at this moment, the wine-yellow petals are caught between his slender fingers when you come out and he doesn’t let go of them—because you’re not holding up the outfit for the day as you always are. 
For the fun day as you’ve called it. 
You’re dressed in it. Low-waisted gray dress pants with a little, tight, white shirt. Black stilettos, black shoulder purse. Your trench coat is waiting for you in the hall, hung up and lonely, but other than that you’re matching him fully. It feels as though you’re fading into him, becoming a singular being that has his DNA and his beauty, and when he beams up at you, boxy smile on full show, spine straight and tall on the stool, long fingers gripping its rim, Taehyung, with his gray suit and a white shirt, somehow validates that feeling. 
Somehow, in that peculiar Taehyung way of his. 
He extends his hands towards you, asking for your closeness. There’s a mist of murkiness that envelops him, with the saddened clouds beyond the window, standing in the place of the sun. It moves through you, this image of him reaching for you in this landscape, and you think he deserves to be painted like this. With black charcoal and a little bit of soft carmine to eternalize the blush of his cheeks—the only trace of color in the sketchbook. Your hands don’t know the art of drawing, but your heart does and while you take those necessary steps towards him, you feel the scratches of that dark pencil over that grainy flesh. 
His palms find your curves and you consider it unbelievable, the fact he’s still so big, despite the size of the stool and the height of your heels. No matter how much taller you grow, he’ll always be that tower that protects you from the blazing heat of the sun. 
He’s the epitome of autumn. No longer a boy, but a man, whose lungs are perfumed by apples, leaves, cinnamon, pumpkin spice and the slight iciness of the seasonal wind. Whose eyes witnessed the growth of your form since you were a little girl with two long braids. 
Childhood best friends turned to lovers, favored by the hanging, twinkling stars. 
You always saw him the most in autumn. Chasing you down during festivities that your mom couldn’t not be a part of, grabbing a hold of one of your braided pigtails with his already long fingers, then tickling you until you gave up. Ever so easy to catch because of the length of your hair. You knew, even as a little girl, that he was not just a part of your life, but your life itself. More than a companion, more than a friend. You dreamed about having his babies and that dream would come to life through your imagination whenever he would chase you down, years later, in the grand halls of the east wing of his grandiose family home, where nobody ever comes, just to steal a kiss or two. It was the moment you realized that you were no longer kids, even though you acted as such, but that you desired little legs to follow you in the fun of it all. 
And that kiss changed every autumn from that year on.
Stolen glances, the blush of cheeks, quivering fingers that no longer grabbed your braids. Not until many autumns later. You gave him your everything, every bit of your newly-bloomed femininity, your dream of having his babies and he folded it into the vinyls of his favorite jazz music that he would play every night whenever he needed inspiration or whenever he simply needed you. 
Newly. Not just yet as adults and no longer as kids. Somewhere in between. 
And then the duties of adulthood came. The natural process of drifting apart settled between your bodies and you no longer played in the stage between. Taehyung, the saxophone-playing jazz singer, moving foreign bodies into his personal, heart-sung rhythm. Not yours, never yours for a long time. You, working a day job that never paid enough, not for the dresses you yearned to wear at those clubs he would play at. 
But what you didn’t know was that drifting apart meant coming together eventually. 
He might have become your Turnip Head, silent and distant, but you were Sophie—and you found him. You found him while looking for something, or someone for the lack of better words, and he helped you. Over a cup of coffee he didn’t drink, at a jazz bar you always wanted to come to. Your date was a hit and miss and the guy never came, and your Turnip Head didn’t help you find your Howl. 
He helped you find himself. And from that moment on, you never drifted apart again. 
Who would’ve thought that seeking a relationship that did not resemble your dream nor your childhood would make you find him all over again. 
In autumn, too. 
Taehyung paid for your dresses, your female suits, paid for your drinks. Kissed you underneath those dimmed, brown lights before he went off to play songs that moved your body at last. Dancing alone to his songs was your dream come true until he set down his saxophone and joined you. Let his band mates play his favorite Etta James song as he took your hand and drifted upon the dance floor with you. Those who danced before this song sat down, let you have this opportunity for yourself, and Taehyung kissed you, after a long time, after many autumns had passed, right then and there. 
And both of you realized that you could never drift apart again. You could only drift together. 
You moved in together. He bought you tulips of every possible hue every week. Played you his new songs for you on the saxophone. Took you to art galleries. Took you sightseeing, sometimes alone with you, sometimes with Jimin joining you. Shared your dream about having babies with you and talked about it all the time. Tried it out, seized it many times, though the outcome both of you desired never came. Had a beautiful life with you until…
Until he thinned out into his Turnip Head form and skipped away to fulfill his country duties. 
But he’s here. Oh, he’s here. Buff and big, apples, cinnamon and pumpkin spice. Brown eyes that carry the memory of your growth, hands that clutch your hips and that hold the silky memory of your still long braids. Hands that edge around your slightly, barely puffy tummy and that don’t know that you are with a concoction of a small him and you, a divine magical realism, a dream that came true without his knowledge right after the last hours of his military vacation were up and he had to go back to serve the country. 
The reason behind this fun day. 
The day of his second vacation, the day you tell him. 
“You look just like me,” he breathes, the width of his smile never lessening, hands skipping over the space between your hips and your arms and grabbing your hands. It gets to you still, the way his eyes never look up at you, the way they never have, and you feel so sweetly small. Even more so when Taehyung stands to his feet and slides his suit jacket over your shoulders. You become even smaller, a fawn taken care of. A pregnant fawn. “And now you are me.” 
Oh, he doesn’t know just how much. Not yet. 
He sits back down and gently pushes you to take a step back. On wavering feet, like that freshly-born fawn, you waver on your feet, but Taehyung keeps you stable, leaning forward to make sure you’ve caught your balance. A wisp of his dark hair falls over his eye that he, at last, flicks up at you. And the sensation from it, it is nothing that you ever felt before. 
It is a step forward. 
It’s something that tells you: go ahead. 
You planned to tell him at the jazz bar where he kissed you for the first time as an adult and made you his. But now, now it feels more than right, amidst this strange newness that you don’t think you’ll ever experience again. 
You open your mouth, brace yourself, but Taehyung is faster. Ringing fills your ears, the atmosphere around you feels gooey—as if you’re walking through a limbo. 
“Jimin will meet us at the park.” 
Oh, yes. Walk in the park, a warm drink to go, then the jazz bar. Jimin is having his military break as well, about to sing in Taehyung’s honor, you already knew this, knew he would join you, but being in the presence of your boyfriend, the detail slipped out. 
The newness leaves. Taehyung straightens. Towers over you. The normalcy flattens over the chemistry between you and him, the atmosphere lessening to feathery lightness and when you move your arms to give back his jacket, your arms feel as though they’re not your own. 
Your smile falls. 
Jazz bar it is. 
“We should go,” you prompt, turning around, having all the balance in the world as you go fetch your purse and reapply your red lipstick. 
Taehyung watches you in the mirror, his boxy grin on eternal display, warming your heart. You think about how you can’t wait until his baby witnesses that smile for the first time—and wonder if God is molding, at this very hour, the same one upon their little face. It brings tears to your eyes, ones that you quickly blink away, and instead you focus on lining your lips with the tip of the lipstick with utmost precision. 
In your vast collection of lip liners, you don’t have a red one. Truth be told, you always feared this vibrant color. It represented a stigma you never liked—that only promiscuous women wear that color, but to you it was never that. 
It was a color that meant you lose your girlhood, your childhood upon wearing. 
And now, it is a color that announces the next era of your life: adulthood, but different, painted with motherly instincts that are of these vibrant hues. Womanhood. No longer fearful, but brave. 
Right. 
You want your baby to connect this color to you and know that you made it. You waited your whole life for their father and gave it to him in one of the autumns as a child. Without knowing, without realizing. 
That color is a legacy. 
As if he could hear your thoughts, Taehyung kisses the back of your head, halting your motions. Wraps his arms around you as he props his chin on the place he kissed—and right here, right now, you’re looking at a family portrait in the mirror. 
A living, breathing one. With lifting chests in tandem, growing smiles and a growing baby in your womb. 
Magical realism in full effect. 
And then Taehyung is off to fetch your trench coat, holding it up for your arms to slip inside its sleeves. Grabs your hand and revels in the autumn weather outside, boxy smile never faltering. Sings in the car on the way to the park, makes eye contact as he mouths the lyrics—kiss me once and kiss me twice, then kiss me once again, it’s been a long, long time—because he could never sing over that part. It’s too precious to his heart for him to do so. 
The wind accompanies you and grabs your other hand as you walk down the pathway lined with half-barren trees and a still pond. Taehyung hums the Bing Crosby song that seems to be playing on loop within his mind and it is the only greenery that spreads around through his husky voice. All else—the pond, the trees and the last of their leaves that dance around you, the shrubberies and the clouds up above—are smeared with sullen blues and grays, to which Taehyung is everlastingly immune. 
Jimin is standing by an antique coffee stand, dressed to the nines in an outfit he most definitely must be cold in. Black dress pants with a jacket that stuns you. A matching Hussar one, with golden braiding. A military piece of clothing from another time. You think it suits the fun day quite delightfully, but not as much as it suits him. The golden detail goes hand in hand with his golden hair and you think he needs his picture taken. 
“Jimin!” you call out, making his confused little face turn in your direction, and he swivels his body to face you altogether. He holds two cups of coffee in both of his hands, one for him and one for you. You melt at that and look up at Taehyung to see his boxy smile ever so frozen and beautiful, pointed at his best friend. 
When you reach him, he hugs you. His cold skin stings you and you quickly warm him up with rubbing motions against his back. Scrunch your brows in puzzlement when he doesn’t hug Taehyung nor even look at him. 
But all is swept away when Jimin exclaims in discomfort and takes a rapid sip of his boiling drink. 
“Jimin, where’s your coat?” you ask him in pity, watching him shake and moan in pain once he burns his tongue. He uses the cup to warm up both of his hands. 
“I didn’t think Paris would be so cold in October,” he explains in a hushed, livid tone, drawing the rim of the paper cup back to his lips as if he didn’t learn his lesson. Typical Jimin. “But this outfit is for Taehyung anyways, so I’ll survive.” 
He talks of him but he doesn’t look at him. Makes heart eyes at the misting coffee, instead. Like Taehyung isn’t here at all. 
Strange. 
You shake off the thought. 
“Go stand by the pond before you freeze. I want to take a picture of you,” you say, softly, pulling your phone out of your purse. Glancing up, you expect Jimin to be ready with his pose, but he’s looking at you as if you said the most outrageous thing in the world. Eyes wide, mouth downturned in horror. You laugh and place a hand on his arm. “Go, Jimin. This is a special day and special days ask for special pictures.” 
Jimin sighs and nods, despite the fact he doesn’t really look like he wants to do it. 
“Fine, but I’m keeping the coffee in my hand.” 
Your tender laughter prolongs. “Fair enough. Go pose with your little heat pack.” 
Gazing out at the pond, Taehyung is already standing there. With his brown coat over his gray suit, he coalesces with the autumnal scenery and you think he belongs there. That a statue should be made of him right where his feet are planted, for people to remember and appreciate his beauty. You snap a few pictures of him before Jimin makes his way towards the stone bannister and stops right in front of Taehyung, who towers over him. Jimin lifts his cup and smiles a little tight smile, the mist from his coffee eclipsing over him like a soft fog. Switching to portrait mode, Taehyung is gone by the time your screen clears out and shows Jimin by his lonesome self, setting his coffee cup down on the bannister and turning around for some dramatic, aesthetic shots. Taehyung laughs in your ear, catches your slipping purse and places it back on your shoulder, and what he says next gives your life a whole new meaning. 
“Jimin is cute, but he’s strong and sane enough to protect you while I’m gone.”
You pivot back, piercing your sight right through him, not believing those words were just flung out of him like that. Taehyung never mentioned you having a protector while being in the military and even the whole concept of it confuses you even deeper as Jimin is serving as well. He might not be in the special forces like your boyfriend is, but he’s serving nonetheless. The systems are the same, no matter the department. 
Before you can ask him what he meant by that, the sing-song tone of Jimin’s voice reaches you. He calls out your name with a bit of alarm. 
“What’s wrong?” 
You gaze back and meet his eyes in full motion—he’s already taking long steps towards you and grabbing your arm, taking your confusion to another level.  
“What happened?” he asks, his pupils thin dots that ripple through your skin with stiff, panicky electroshocks. You glance back at Taehyung to discover that he’s not standing behind you at all, but behind Jimin, clutching his shoulder. 
You blink. “Nothing.” 
Jimin lets go of your arm and inhales the autumnal air. The pond, suddenly, heaves. 
“Let’s go somewhere warm,” Jimin suggests and you agree with him with a nod of your head. Pinpricks of iciness kisses your fingertips, despite the fact you’re still holding your own cup of coffee that Jimin bought you. 
A strange feeling seizes you. 
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The jazz bar is an embrace of snug heat that embraces your womb first before greeting the rest of your body. You can’t help but to touch your baby, say to her in your heart: this is your Daddy’s most favorite place in the whole wide world. And the feeling is so surreal that it washes away the strange sensation that clung to you so heavily. 
You’re the first customers to come. Jimin sighs in absolute relief and he’s standing in the middle of the dance floor, frozen in time, as he lets the warmth of the place defrost his bones. Your cup of coffee was long finished and discharged; Jimin’s drank his in long sips that took seconds to finish, too, and the whole ordeal was so funny to you that it’s given you a sense of lightness that you needed. 
Taehyung hasn’t spoken a word since you left your apartment. 
He sits at the bar stool like he sat in your shared bedroom. One leg propped on the footrest while the other is relaxed on the floor, one hand folded on the apex of his thigh, the other drumming on the bar while the band he doesn’t know is rehearsing their instruments. You take a seat right beside him and feel like the parents you’re about to become. Sophisticated, classical, sublime. 
The pretentious kind, but in a good way. 
That thought makes you smile softly until the bartender asks you if you’d like anything. You politely decline her, even though you’d love a glass of wine with the daddy to be beside you. You can’t drink, not for many months to come. You wait for her to ask Taehyung the same question, but she doesn’t even lift her eyes to his direction. She wipes down the wood of the bar and leaps away. 
Nobody fucking asks Taehyung anything. 
Amidst a hearty guitar strumming solo, Jimin notices the furrow of your brows, the downturned pout of your mouth that opens to ask Taehyung about the strangeness that keeps occurring today. But before you get the words out, Jimin calls out your name into the microphone, the vowels made sweet by the sound of his princely voice. He stands with the band behind his back, his Hussar jacket exquisitely fitting the dimmed background. He holds out his hand for you, a poignant glint perched on top of his irises, and he flattens his puffy, pink lips. 
“Don’t be sad. Tonight is for Taehyung and all sadness is prohibited,” he says with his feigned announcer articulations, the corners of his mouth rounding in a similar manner to yours, in sympathy. “We will have to kindly ask you to leave if you proceed in your sadness. Please, join me here.” 
You roll your eyes, but the smile gracing your features couldn’t be erased even with the force of the whole wide world. You stand to your feet and paddle your way to him, the heels of your stilettos clicking on the worn parquets. Jimin gives you a soft grin and places his microphone down, meeting you halfway on the dance floor and taking your hand. 
It is when he begins to sing, just for you, that you perceive that the instrumental song the guitarist played is one, which is contained in one of Taehyung’s vinyls. The ones he would play in the darkest of nights and sing the lyrics to your bare body. Tears prick your waterline when Jimin guides you into a gentle slow dance while maintaining the tones of the song with utmost perfection. 
And Taehyung is carried in every languid motion and in every vocal cord that is strained upon this hour in his honor. 
I’m in the mood for love, simply because you’re near me…
You gaze back at Taehyung, who sits still and smiles his boxy smile. Frozen and beautiful, but unbreathing. 
Still and unbreathing. 
Frozen. 
You halt your movements. 
Jimin stops the dance, ends the song with a deep hum that pulses through you along with the notion that something isn’t right, but very, very wrong. 
“I wish Taehyung were here,” Jimin says with a deep sigh, holding both of your hands, and an uncanny, perplexing feeling constricts your throat. 
Your breath shivers, vision blurry. “But he is here.” 
Jimin lets go of your hands and you lament his touch. You need to be touched because you feel yourself shrinking into a fawn most vulnerable that doesn’t know what’s real anymore. A fawn just born, pathetically ignorant of the world and of her loved ones.
“I know, but I wish he were here for real.” 
A cold sweat drips down your spine, paralyzing you. Your constricted throat dries up like a well and you can’t swallow. You can’t think, you can’t blink—your lungs can’t lift to inhale any air and they mirror Taehyung’s still ones, unbreathing. 
It is a surprise to you, the question that flows out of you. 
“Jimin, who is sitting at the bar?” 
A wrinkle forms between his brows as he sweeps his gaze over all those bar stools and doesn’t linger at the occupied space that you know is there. A perturbing energy thuds in his eyes once he returns them to yours, and that alarming potency in him rises once again. 
“Who do you see there?” he asks, carefully, leaving his mouth parted as he anticipates your answer. 
You peer back behind you and don’t find any bar stools occupied. Not single one. 
No Taehyung, smiling his boxy smile. 
No Taehyung behind Jimin. 
No Taehyung behind you. 
A sob rumbles out of you in unison with your realization that you were, indeed, very wrong. You catch your sob, covering your mouth with your fingers as your tears spurt down onto your cheeks. 
And then the memories arrive, the reality.
But Jimin ceases their flow with the warmth of his even more careful question. 
“Did you see him at the park, too?” 
You can only nod, but you can’t look at him. You stare at nothing in particular and it seems that what Jimin has ceased, he allows to stream through the pond of your thoughts, accompanied by his vocalized truth. 
“Taehyung isn’t here. He should’ve been here with us, but he had to go to North Korea. There was a conflict, remember? You know this.” 
Taehyung’s apologetic text message appears before your eyes. The letter that came first before his phone call, where he explained to you that he can’t have his vacation and visit you because he has to go and save his country. The real, known reason between the pair of you and Jimin behind this fun day. To honor Taehyung for what he’s doing. The day you wanted to share, as well, that you were pregnant. 
The aloneness has gotten to you, helped by your blessed state. Confused your mind to the point that you imagined him here when he’s not here at all. 
Jimin calls your name and you glance at him. Perhaps he can see the truth dawning on you by the way pity twists his features. He caresses your arm and leaves his hand there, his heat locking in the realization. 
“What has happened to you?” 
Another onrush of tears clouds your vision. Your spine bends. And you can’t. 
You can’t not tell him. You can’t keep it in. 
“I’m pregnant.” 
Jimin’s eyes widen and it merely takes him a second to envelop you in his embrace. He coos your name, rubs your back, a whimper resonates in his chest against yours as he holds back his tears. The music falls into nothingness—and nothing is said for a time that appears to be as long as the season of autumn. 
And then, somehow, you’re outside of the jazz club, sitting on Jimin’s Hussar jacket that he put down on the cold ground for you beside him. And the silence continues until it doesn’t. 
“Does he know?” he asks, and you feel his irises gliding across the side of your face that you cannot turn. 
It’s you who’s frozen this time. 
Still and unbreathing. 
With no smiling Taehyung at your hip. 
“I wanted to tell him tonight,” you say, quietly, with your hands helplessly in your lap. “On the day of his vacation that he looked forward to.” 
Jimin sighs, the sound full of that terrible pity. “How far along are you?” 
It’s a question that brings life to your numb hands and you take them to your belly. 
“Three months.” 
A beat of silence. 
You fondle your growing baby. Jimin seems to be watching you, considering his following words, but you fear to move your eyes. Lift them in expectation to see Taehyung only to meet the half-barren trees and the leaves on the ground that have absurdly regained their vivid colors. 
Lift them to look at Jimin and meet the outcome of your autumn-long aloneness. 
“He’ll be back in a month and I’ll talk to the Sergeant and offer my own vacation. I’ll give it up so you can see him and tell him.” 
A sob lodges itself in your throat and you tilt to the side, leaning your head on Jimin’s shoulder. He, in response, leans his against yours. 
“I don’t think your Sergeant will even hear you out,” you say, humorlessly, your personal pain still prickling the flesh of your heart. 
But then Taehyung’s words wash over you. 
Jimin is cute, but he’s strong and sane enough to protect you while I’m gone.
Jimin, Taehyung’s best friend, who’s been there for him through thick and thin, long before you came into the picture. Jimin, who stuck by your side when sightseeing, and took your pictures. Who devoured dinners with you and drank a whole bottle of liquor with you when Taehyung abstained. 
Jimin, your best friend, too. 
“Will you be here for me while he’s gone?” you ask, the sob in your throat enlarging, preventing you from speaking, but you push through. “So I won't get delusional again?” 
Jimin takes your hand in his, squeezing it firmly in your lap, his thumb brushing over your little, half-swollen belly. 
“It’s the least I can do. Let’s get you home.” 
And he does. 
He calls a cab. Walks with you up the stairs, lingers at the door, watches you take off your heels—watches the comprehension of this day being anything but fun take form on your face and posture, and he hugs you. Reassures you that he will be here the whole week until his vacation is over, and even long after that. 
And you nod. Thank him. Turn your head away when he clicks the door shut behind him. Walk over to the window and stifle your tears when you see him head over to the liquor store in front of your apartment and leave with a bottle of spirits hanging from his fingertips. 
And the tears rush out, despite your efforts, when your gaze cascades down onto the windowsill and onto the vase, where white wine-doused tulips stooped in yearning for Taehyung’s touch a few hours ago. 
They aren’t stooping. They’re flaccid, dead and withered. Like the fun day you prepared.
Because Taehyung hasn’t bought any newly blooming tulips in a long while. 
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𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @jjk7k , @tkslovechild , @euphoricmyth , @cinmmongirl , @ririkookiemonster , @perfectiondazesworld , @https-mei , @bangtansonyeondanue , @jungkoock , @cinmmongirl , @hoseokkie-caeks , @kam9404 , @fr0ggieth1nk , @parkinglot-nights
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cherrycranes · 5 days ago
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Real Cowgirls Ride (Emmett x Fem!Reader) [+18]
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Pairing: Emmett (A Quiet Place 2) x Fem!Reader Summary: When you go to a bar in upstate New York with your girlfriends for a bachelorette party, you encounter a hot rugged man who´ll teach you how to ride like a real cowgirl. Word count: 4,248 Contents: (Minors DNI). No apocalypse AU. Age gap (Reader is 24, Emmett is 39), Oral sex (fem receiving), a little bit of ass licking (fem receiving), fingering, P in v, protected sex! Author's notes: Once more, a collab with @fuckiingloser cause that's my wifey. Mandatory "english is not my first language" disclaimer. Enjoy the ass licker.
It was the first time you ever stepped a foot in this rural upstate New York town. Certainly an interesting choice for a bachelorette party, but your friend: the bride, and her future husband had grown up here. It was nice, though. A very appreciated change of scenery from your busy downtown New York City life. It had been a 3 hour drive to get here, and you planned to just have a good time.
The party had a cowgirl theme and you had gone all out: a borrowed pair of red cowgirl boots that you had never imagined wearing in your life, a pair of dangerously tiny Daisy Duke jean shorts and a white cropped t-shirt that said “Budweiser” across the front. All topped with a matching cowboy hat sitting on top of your head. Your girlfriends showered you with compliments, you played the part so well.
It was around 11:30 pm now, and after several stops of the bar crawl, you all walked into a smoky, dark dive bar. The neon signs gave the entire room a dull glow. It was moderately full, mostly with old blue collar men tired from a long day's work. Some of them gave your group a few stares that only your tipsy state managed to ignore. You had come here for fun, and that’s what you would have. 
You got a big table, ordered some drinks and shots and cheered for the bride, wishing her all the best with the love of her life. And, in secret, you hopelessly wished that you would find yours too… You were painfully single at 24 and your only one previous boyfriend had cheated on you after a year of dating. You were still young but loneliness stung.
To distract yourself, you ordered a few more shots and just went along with the vibe of the bar and your friends’ laughter. Some moments later, you wandered over to the old school jukebox that sat alone on a dark corner to flip through the endless pages of song options. Some you knew, some you didn’t, and one you picked before a rugged voice behind you interrupted you:
“Excuse me, miss...” You turned to look. “I just have to have a look at these fancy red cowgirl boots up close...” The man in front of you said with a charming little smirk and with his baby blue eyes looking down at your feet, then at your legs, your body and, eventually, meeting your eyes. 
You looked him over too, with his plain white t-shirt, blue wrangler jeans, dusty work boots, scruffy beard with a few silver strands in it and a ball cap with some brown curls peeking out underneath it. Quite handsome. His little excuse to come over and talk to you was pathetic but cute, it had made you smirk a little. And when you looked into his beautiful eyes and saw that pretty smile again, you decided to give him a shot.
“Honestly… My buddies over there were givin’ me a hard time and said that I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t say something to the pretty girl in the red cowboy boots...” He gestured over to his friends in the booth in the other corner who gave you a wave and smile. You turned back to look at him, and gave yourself the luxury of eyeing him up and down again. He was definitely older than you, but not exactly old enough to be your father. He must have been in his early 40’s at most. He was sort of rugged, most likely a blue collar man. Some tattoos poked out from under the sleeve of his t-shirt. He was not the type of guy you were used to encountering in New York City. “I'm Emmett..” He smirked, and you chuckled a bit at his words.
“Hate to break the news but I borrowed these from a friend… I’m not a real country girl.” You admitted with a smile. Emmett laughed softly and leaned against the almost forgotten jukebox.
 “Well… They look good on you either way… That’s for sure…” He looked over your body once more, shameless infatuation irradiating from him. His boldness made you smile again, and admittedly, it also turned you on. Like clockwork, the first notes of the song you picked started to play and Emmett gave you an approving smile.
“Good choice… You’ve got good taste obviously… Would you like to dance, beautiful?” He asked, his voice like velvet in your ears. You felt a sweet heat rush to your cheeks and you nodded.
“I'd like that.” You smiled and he took your hand with a gentleness that was to die for, pulling you closer and wrapping his strong arms around your waist. In return, you wrapped your arms around his neck and followed him along. Butterflies flew in your stomach like they hadn’t in so long when his arms tightened around you.
You chatted a little, dancing slowly in the middle of the dive bar with his rough hands rubbing the exposed skin of your back. In the background of the slow song, you could make out the voices and giggles of your friends who must have been staring in amusement and support. 
In between the small conversations and the dance, you found out Emmett owned a farm nearby. Mostly horses and some crops. You also found out he was 39 years old. Never married, currently single. Then it came time for questions about your life, your work, your age, where were you from…
“Ahh, so you’re a city girl, makes sense… Never seen someone as hot as you around here before...” Emmett whispered, still swaying with you and still holding you tight. You blushed, something not everybody did to you, but there was something about him. His looks, his charm, his rough hands. You couldn't help yourself.
Guided by that feeling, you kept talking. Now telling him about your failed relationship, your cheater ex-boyfriend and your 8 month-long singlehood. Emmett’s brow furrowed upon hearing that.
“Fuckin’ asshole… Who would ever wanna lose you? You need a real man… Not a little immature boy..” He whispered, shaking his head gently and tightening his tattooed arm around you ever so slightly, just for the butterflies in your stomach to go even wilder. 
Your song ended and the jukebox went silent. Emmett immediately asked to buy you a drink, and how would you even say no? Next thing you knew, you were sitting on a barstool with him standing in front of you, a hand on your thigh making you swoon. He leaned over to order, the scent of his almost worn-off cologne sending more heat towards the right places.
“Two miller lites please, thanks.. ” The bartender cracked open two beers and pushed them towards Emmett. He handed you one along with a sly smile, his other hand still on your thigh.
“Well… Cheers to a good night that I'm hoping gets even better.” Emmett held his drink up to yours and clicked them together with a nice melodic sound. 
“Cheers.” You chuckled, arousal pooling in your lower abdomen and burning steady for the entire time you and Emmett talked and flirted in between sips. Some guilt crept up on you at having practically abandoned your girlfriends, but every quick glance towards them made you find them winking and putting their thumbs up. So you focused back on Emmett, laughed at his jokes, touched his arm, gave him your best smile…
“Can’t believe a pretty girl like you is interested in an old man like me.” He rubbed his hand softly on your exposed thigh, and you couldn't help but let out a sincere chuckle.
“You're hotter than any guy I've met in the city by a million honestly… A real man who works with his hands and knows what he wants and isn’t shy about it…” Every word of yours was soaked in a sensual tone and your eyes never looked away from him now. He had the most beautiful pale blue eyes you had ever seen, his pupils were long dilated from looking at you, and they seemed to get even more when he heard you talking like that.
“Well, you sure know how to flatter a guy… I’ve gotta say you’re one of the sexiest things I've ever seen.” Emmett leaned in to whisper into your ear, his lips giving you a featherlight touch. “My hands aren’t the only thing I’m good with…” His warm breath sent a satisfying shiver down your spine. “And I do know what I want… I wanna see what’s underneath this little crop top and these tiny jean shorts…” 
Your breath hitched ever so slightly, the hairs at the back of your neck stood up. His rough hand gripped the soft flesh of your thigh firmly, the sensation, along with his words, going straight to your core and now dampened panties. 
It was 12:45 am now, the clock upon the wall ticked in front of Emmett’s eyes with an eager question. 
“It's getting pretty late… Whaddya say you come home with me tonight… And I can teach you how to ride like a real cowgirl?” He whispered through a seductive smirk, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear and effectively making your clit pulse. You bit your lip, took in the pale blue of his eyes and leaned a bit closer.
“You wanna be my teacher?” You asked him, holding his gaze. Emmett nodded before taking a swig of his beer, finishing it and putting it on the bar.
“I'm sure a girl like you could teach an old dog like me a few tricks too…” 
Your smirk turned into a grin before his eyes and your wet pussy fluttered again. God, he was so smooth and beyond sexy. The kind of man you needed.
“Take me home cowboy.” You whispered, ripples of arousal traveling around your body as you watched Emmett pull out his wallet and slap a 20 dollar bill on the counter to cover for your drinks and tip, before taking your hand like a gentleman.
Your girls cheered when they saw you walking out with him, and you so graciously gave them a playful middle finger that made them laugh out loud.
Emmett held the door open for you and all the exposed parts of your body felt the cool summer breeze of the night air. Not for long though, his truck was just a few steps away, and as the gentleman he was, he opened the passenger seat door for you and helped you in. The inside was rather cozy, an air freshener hung from the rear-view mirror along with a, quite fitting, tiny cowboy hat charm. You flicked it with your finger as Emmett got in the driver’s seat. 
“Before we leave...” He started, leaning over the center console. Before you could ask him anything, his lips met yours in a hot, sensual kiss. Inevitably, your hand reached up to touch his beard, and you delighted with the taste of beer and faint mint gum in his mouth.
“Wow… All this is yours?” You asked softly, admiring the vast space bathed in starlight.
 “Sorry, I just had to… Couldn’t wait another minute.” He whispered against the softness of your lips, forming a smile. He sat back in his seat and started the truck up, making it roar to life. His left hand held the wheel and his right hand found his new favorite spot: your thigh. Soft rock born from his radio barely made noise as he drove you down the mostly empty country roads to his home nearby. You raised both eyebrows when an old farmhouse and several barns came into view.
“It is indeed, pretty girl.” Emmett smiled, pulling up next to the house and getting out of his truck, this time helping you out of it, upholding the true gentleman behavior. 
His arm wrapped around you once again, his body warmth fighting for you against the chill summer night’s breeze. You smiled when the front door opened for you and you were the first to step foot inside the cute little farmhouse. It was rather lovely, perhaps too minimally decorated but it was to be expected, he was a 40 year old man living alone. You seemed to be the most feminine thing in this house. 
“I love it… So cozy.” You leaned against the kitchen counter, attracting Emmett to you. His hands found your hips and he looked down at you with that flirtiness that made your pussy wetter. 
“You haven’t even seen the bedroom yet.” He whispered, closer and closer to you until another sensual kiss captured your lips. Your mouth gave his skillful tongue entrance and with a delicious groan he picked you up easily. Your legs wrapped around his hips and his hands supported you by holding your ass. He swallowed a moan from you and walked you both across the house, towards the stairs and into his bedroom. There, he laid you down on his big bed, his lips reluctantly leaving yours for air.
You propped yourself up to your elbows, granting him a visual feast for his eyes to devour. Your exposed midriff, your little shorts and those cute little red boots. Since your cowboy hat had been lost somewhere on the way to his bed, your hair was slightly messy, and your lips glistened from his saliva. He didn’t know where to begin with you. 
“Fuck, you’re sexy…” He admired you, reaching down to pull one of your boots off, then the other one. Both joined his wooden floor. “I need to see this perfect body naked for me…”
You giggled, his hands now occupied themselves with your jean shorts. In a couple of seconds they also met the floor.
“Would ya look at that…” Emmett let out a flirty whistle upon seeing what you hid underneath the denim: a little red thong that made his cock twitch in his jeans, another reminder of how painfully hard he was. His calloused thumb didn’t resist and ran over your clothed pussy, slowly making its way between your folds and marveling at the feeling of the damp fabric. He growled in approval. 
“Someone’s wet…” He looked into your eyes and you felt a rush of blood divide itself to reach both your cheeks and your needy cunt. You bit your lip, your body ablaze.
“Flip over for me, baby… Face down ass up.” He ordered after playing with you over your panties a little bit. You, incredibly turned on and obedient to any sexy command he could throw your way with that deep voice of his, didn’t even think about it twice.
“Yes, Sir.” You played along, flipping over for him with your ass in the air and your cheek against the duvet cover. 
“Fuuuck…” He groaned at the sight. You knew very damn well your little thong was covering absolutely nothing from behind. “I wanna make sure this little pussy is prepped for my lesson…” he said, peeling the thong off you slowly. 
Anticipation pooled at your cunt, the flimsy red fabric left your body with his help. Once you were free, Emmett palmed both your asscheeks and spread them slowly. He moaned at the sight of your glistening pussy and tight asshole, all fully waxed.
“Jesus Fuckin’ Christ…” He breathed out, feeling his heart skip a beat. “I could come just looking at you…” He whispered just inches away from your needy cunt.
You moaned softly at his words, feeling completely exposed yet so turned on. Nothing else could matter to you anymore.
“Please...” You whimpered so needily, he couldn’t resist leaning in and letting his tongue slide between your slippery folds. A guttural groan of his made your pussy reverberate, the taste of you on his tongue so addictive, so divine.
“Oh my god…” Now, you moaned. Emmett’s hot tongue licked a fat stripe from your clit all the way to your ass, flicking against it. The sensation was so good you could barely comprehend it.
You moaned over and over, his thick fingers pumped in and out of you in a slow but firm motion. He watched hungrily as your tight cunt took them in so easily and so greedily.
“You taste like honey…” He purred to our flesh before spitting on your pussy, his saliva slowly dribbling down between your lips and making him groan in approval. Two of his fingers gathered some of that spit on them before circling your aching hole, slowly pushing inside of you from behind. 
 “Fuck… Feels so good…” You spoke in between moans that only got louder when Emmett curled his fingers inside you, hitting that special spot. “Holy fuck…” 
The louder you moaned, the faster his thick fingers moved and curled. Your eager pussy had his index and middle fingers completely wet and glistening.
“That feels good, pretty girl?” He asked with a smirk. “Gotta make sure this little pussy is ready to ride my big cock…” he growled hungrily. 
“I-I’m ready… Please…” His pumping fingers had you bucking your hips in desperation and stuttering, almost out of your mind. Emmett loved every single detail about it, you looked just so beautiful when you were this horny and needy. Mercifully, he pulled his fingers out of your begging cunt and slowly brought them to his mouth, groaning at the taste of you.
“Flip over, baby.” He commanded, the sound of the zipper of his jeans making your ears perk up. You did as he said, catching the glimpse of his pants hitting the floor and his shirt being pulled over his head. He tossed it aside, the view of his toned, hairy chest and arms, along with those sexy tattoos of his made your pussy feel even more needy. Your eyes feasted on him, from his chest to his hard on in his briefs.
“I think you’re ready for your lesson…” Emmett crawled onto the bed and laid on his back, dark curls resting on his pillows. Right away, you sat on your knees, watching the way his arm flexed as he reached over to the side table and opened the drawer. Touch guided his way to a gold wrapper.
“A little help?” He smirked, looking down at his hard cock still tucked in his underwear. You smiled and nodded, your fingers hooking on the gray waistband and gently peeling the fabric down his legs. His big hard cock immediately sprung free for your eyes to devour. A throaty groan resonated from him. It was much bigger than what you had pictured, it was impossible to not stare at it in all its veiny, throbbing glory. 
Emmett ripped open the condom wrapper with his teeth, rolling the latex down his thick cock and looking up at you with a sexy smile.
“You ready to be my cowgirl?” 
Immediately, you snapped out of your trance and nodded.
“Yes, sir…” Your voice came out sweet and so lovely, his hand motioned towards him.
“C’mere, baby…” Emmett cooed and you moved to stand above him. You lowered down slowly on him until your sensitive folds felt the covered tip of his cock, making him groan a little at the friction.
“Mmm, slow baby…” He coached you in a soft voice, putting his hands on your hips and guiding you. “Sink down slowly…” And slowly you did it. His cock slid inside your tight hot ready entrance easily, with all the time in the world. You sank down further, each of your knees on either side of his thighs almost trembling at the stretch. Loud moans escaped you both in unison as you adjusted to him and he adjusted to you. You felt so full, for a second you even doubted if it all could fit, but, as if his cock was designed for your tight little cunt, he fully slid right in with ease. 
“Oh, fuck…” You breathed out, looking into his beautiful eyes through your fluttering eyelashes. “So deep…” Words came in soft whine. Soft, clingy hands supported you by touching his broad, hairy chest. Emmett smirked, a perverted gleam in his eye from watching you adjusting to his thick cock.
“You feel me in here, baby?” He whispered, voice thick and heavy with lust. One of his calloused hands moved from your hip to your lower belly, pressing into your soft flesh and creating an erotic pressure that you could only moan and nod to. You felt him so deeply, all over and inside you.
“You feel so fucking good around me…  So tight and warm. I think this pussy was made to ride my cock.” His voice was low and rough, both hands moved to your hips again, ready to begin.. 
“Now, just go with the flow and get into a good rhythm baby… I’ll help…” He coached you with a sly grin that made your cunt clench around him. He was just so sexy, and he knew and reveled in it. “Just relax and enjoy the ride…” 
After exhaling a needy breath, you started to swivel your hips a bit, riding him slowly. Emmett groaned, his eyes closed in utter pleasure. His hands stayed glued to your hips and guided the slow rhythm your rolling hips set. You both moaned. His hips moved a little under you, encouraging you more and more.
“Look at you cowgirl...” His voice was already a little breathy, his groan took over the last letters of the word “girl”. His cock throbbed inside you at the sight of your pretty tits moving under the Budweiser logo. He helped you out with that, pulling your cropped shirt off your body and hungrily taking in the view of your bare chest as you bounced on his dick.
You moaned more when the tip of his cock hit that deep spot, and the more you spent riding him and earning yourself the title of cowgirl, the more he entertained an idea. 
After a minute or two, Emmett pulled you down, making you chest to chest with him and wrapping his toned arms around you. A searing, sloppy kiss entered your mouth while his hips pistoned from beneath. Your sweet tongue melted into his before he whispered against your lips.
“Now it’s time for you to relax and I'll do all the work baby…” His hoarse voice tickled your skin and he planted his feet on the mattress, gaining the support he needed to immediately pick up the pace and pound into you relentlessly from underneath. No thoughts registered properly in your brain from that point forward, it was all just a hot, wet pool of pleasure. A series of curses left your lips with no particular order and with no respect for anything.  
“Oh-fuck… Oh my fucking god... Fuck!” You cried out into the skin of his neck, the sound of your voice mixing with his low groans and the slapping of skin.
“You fuckin like that?” He panted into your ear, his hips never stopping as you moaned non stop.
“Yes... Yes... Fuck, yes!” You cried out as his hands moved to spank your ass, hard. You almost screamed, the sting nearly sending you over the edge. It was so overwhelming, you didn’t fully realize just how close you were until that moment.
“Jesus… I think I'm gonna come…” You whimpered and his hand came down again hard on your ass, definitely leaving a red mark. Emmett held you so tight against his chest, holding you in place for his thick cock to slam into over and over.
“Come for me..” He looked right into your eyes with pure want in the blue of his irises. And as if on command… You did. 
Eyes squeezed shut so tight you saw lights, a whiny moan was born from the depths of your chest and your sweet, slick cunt clenched around him tight. Your legs couldn't stop shaking and your orgasm took over every single sense. All your being was just a giant orgasm that still could feel him pumping hard into you.
“Holy fuck..” He breathed out in awe watching and feeling you succumb to all the pleasure. 
“Good girl..” He whispered, praising you right before capturing your lips in a hot kiss. “I'm coming too..” Even in your state, you could tell. His thrust had gotten sloppier and his breathing was much heavier. He wasn't able to hold back much longer. Inside the transparent latex, you felt him pulse and fill the material with his warm cum. He groaned, his arms held you tight and kept you there until the last drop was out.
Panting like you had just ran a marathon and with hearts beating fast, you laid there chest to chest. You put your forehead against his in a sweet moment, in response, his hand rubbed your back slowly.
 “Jesus… that was...” He whispered, still a little out of breath looking right into your eyes. You couldn't help but blush and put on a shy smile. 
“...the best sex i’ve ever had…” You softly finished his sentence. 
He pulled out slowly and sat up with you still pressed against his chest. His eyes studied your face for a minute before speaking. “I think you may be a real cowgirl after all…” There was that sly smirk once more, one that made you return the sentiment and lean in with him for one last soft kiss.
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Pinterest board with our visual inspo for this fic, made by @fuckiingloser
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kathaynesart · 1 year ago
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Replica Holiday Special Winners!
Happy Holidays everyone! It's that time of year and you know what that means! Time to announce the winners for the DTIYS Replica Holiday Special Cover!
I received so many wonderful submissions. Far more than I had anticipated! They were all so unique and creative and it was an absolute joy to look at each and every one of them! I really underestimated however how difficult it would be to choose with them all being so unique from each other. In the end, I decided to gauge the top picks on how well their cover captured the "essence" of what this Special is going to be like! Without further ado, here are the winners.
HONORABLE MENTION - @matchstique
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Buddy! I love this piece so dang much! It has so much character and perfectly displays the wacky hijinks we can expect as well as the huge amount of stress our poor boys are under during these trying, pregnancy times. The movement and colors work so well and make me excited for what comes next! Seldom do I see pregnant females shown as the badasses they are, but you have gone and turned Cassandra into an absolute icon with this piece! Bless you!
3RD PLACE - @thegunnsara
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Sara, the shear amount of craft you put into your art is STAGGERING. Every scuff on Raph's shell and wisp of smoke screams of a quality I can only hope to attain someday. I literally want to be you when I grow up! That said, the concept of this piece is also fantastic. One of the things I'm must excited about for this Special is getting to see Raph and Casey as they were and witnessing the strong bond they share. I love them dearly and this cover captures their strength and tenacity so perfectly. Gods among men.
2ND PLACE - @cupcakeslushie
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Slushie, this cover is so damn fun and dynamic that I can't stop looking at it! Your attention to detail and composition are masterful and the fact that you could fit such a bombastic battle into such a limited space speaks to how crazy talented you are! You also do a wonderful job of retaining both the intensity of the apocalypse but also that playful edge that Rise always manages to retain! It's definitely the cover that would catch my eye on a shelf and make me want to turn the page to see what happens next!
1ST PLACE - @abbeyofcyn
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Cyn, the moment I saw this cover, I gasped! It's funny because this is both a piece I could have totally seen myself doing had I done the cover, yet crafted in a unique way I could have never come up with on my own! On top of that, this slick composition scratches my little designer brain juuust right. The use of the hands motif is such a great element because to me, it encapsulates the conflicting themes of family/parenthood with the drama of what it means to be human. On top of that, having each character as one of the digits both connected to and encircling Casey is such a wonderful touch that really drives the symbolism home. Somehow, you managed to peer into the future and perfectly capture how the finale of this special is going to feel. Thank you so much Cyn for such a wonderful piece!
~~~~~~~~~
Now that I think about it, looking back on these winners as a set, all four them actually do an amazing job as individual covers for each of the four "acts" that will make up this special. That was not at all my intention, but it kind of worked out perfectly for that. Gets me all emotional!
I also definitely want to put a spotlight on the other amazing submissions, many of which made it SO close to the top slots! I was going to post these pieces individually but I was worried people wouldn't then go to their blogs to view the covers, so instead have a compilation and links to the full versions! Please check out everyones amazing covers and give them some love. They all worked really hard and it means so much to me. Thank you everyone!
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@dreamundraws - LINK @honeylief - LINK @gemini-forest - LINK @memorydarkness - LINK @skullythefriendlyskullface - LINK @v-albion - LINK @its-wabby-stuff - LINK @yris-latteyi - LINK @reagi-df - LINK @chaoscontrol50 - LINK / LINK @murasakibonnet - LINK @hitwiththetmnt - LINK @xandriagreat - LINK @karonkar - LINK @sunydays - LINK (sorry my dear, yours did not appear on my hashtag reference at first! D: But still love it!) @quailaz - LINK @delicatechildwitch - LINK
Thank you again all of you! You all did such an amazing job!
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katnissegf · 1 year ago
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Dating Katniss & Peeta headcanons
pairing: poly!everlark x fem!reader (katniss everdeen x reader x peeta mellark)
warnings: polyamorous relationship, use of pet names, a lot of fluff, suggestive themes, TW: GALE (🤢), english is not my first language so there might be spelling mistakes.
notes: this is my first time writing in YEARS. but i’m so into the hunger games fandom right now so here’s this. hope you enjoy <3
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after the games, neither of them returned to being the same.
when they returned home, they became so much more overprotective than they were in the past with you.
want to visit your family? peeta will be there with you. need to go somewhere? katniss will go with you.
to be honest you can’t blame them, you know they are like this now because of how scared they are of losing you. and you adore them for that.
but also, overprotective in the jealousy way.
peeta has never been a jealous boyfriend. if he sees you or katniss flirting with someone else, his heart would shatter into pieces, feeling not enough for either of you, but he would never say a word about it.
meanwhile, katniss.. well, she’s not afraid to make it clear what belongs to her.
there was this time when gale came up to talk to you on the reaping day, he said he was 'concerned about you.'
your girlfriend noticed his intentions to flirt with you and quickly got closer to steal your attention, placing a hand on your waist and giving gale a death stare.
he never tried to flirt with you in her presence again.
peeta is literally obsessed with both, you and katniss. he would die for the two of you.
in the other hand, katniss would kill for the two of you. you guys are her whole universe.
in the afternoon, you usually have baking lessons with peeta as your teacher.
if you end up burning something, he says, “don’t worry darling, next time will turn out better.”
sometimes, when you join her on the hunt, katniss tries to teach you how to use the bow and arrow as well.
“i don’t know, i think i prefer watching you do it than doing it myself.”
“c’mon baby, it’s going to be fun. for me?”
of course, you agree just to see her happy.
since they returned home, it’s normal for both of them to have nightmares every night.
to katniss, it helps when you run your fingers through her hair while she rests her head on your chest. peeta always takes her hand to let her know he’s there, even when he’s scared too.
when peeta is the one that wakes up from a terrible dream, he immediately becomes the little spoon and lets both of his girlfriends hug him. this helps him calm down and quickly go back to sleep.
every morning, you braid katniss’s hair while peeta braids yours. <3
you and peeta take care of the garden, and always suprise katniss with flowers.
okay but.. heavy make out sessions.
peeta holds you tight onto his lap and kisses your neck while katniss kisses your mouth like her life depends on it.
they’re always so sweet with you and your body, because it’s probably their favorite thing on the world.
both of them always ask for consent before touching or even kissing you, they respect you so much.
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hauntingofhouses · 11 months ago
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Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.
So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.
DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.
Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.
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But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."
In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.
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When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.
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So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.
Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.
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And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."
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But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.
He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.
*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.
Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.
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Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.
Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."
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This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.
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Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:
"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."
(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)
Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.
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Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.
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But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.
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Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:
"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."
At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")
The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.
That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.
By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.
Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.
But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.
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"I want to be great."
This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.
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NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.
First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:
Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;
Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.
These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:
Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.
Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.
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Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.
Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.
Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.
In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.
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Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.
(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)
And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.
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Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.
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As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.
Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.
With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.
Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!
--
Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.
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Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.
Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.
And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.
Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.
Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.
While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.
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Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.
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Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.
By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.
It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.
Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.
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The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.
Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.
But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.
Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.
(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)
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Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.
In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.
Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.
--
And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.
This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!
--
AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)
Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.
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aestrayla · 2 years ago
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driving you crazy ft. mammon
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summary: you make a bet with a certain white-haired demon to see who can last the longest without touching the other. let's see how long you can last. ft. mammon x f!reader
cw: 18+ SMUT and sexual themes. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT interact.
word count: 1.8k
a/n: this was my first time writing smut LOL. i had to stop myself from cringing while writing this but my fingers just kept typing away.. anyways enjoy!
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You had made a bet with Mammon to see who could last the longest without any physical touch, and of course, he agreed to it. Making bets was his playing field after all and after mentioning the little reward you'd offer if he won... he was not going to lose. This was mere child's play for him.
Now of course you had to play dirty to win. The odds that he would win were more or less in his favour. Here and there you would try and tease him, wearing short little skirts and staring at him with your pretty eyes. He knew when you made that stupid little sultry look with your eyes it could struck any guy dumb. He knew this, because he experienced it firsthand and still remembers the day you laughed at him after leaving him dumbfound.
Your teasing was extremely fun on his part though. Mammon could honestly fuck you whenever he pleased but being able to watch you play this silly little game and planning your next "big move" was far too entertaining for him. It was like watching a child learn to walk, seeing how pouty you'd get after the game dragged from hours into days.
The lack of physical touch was burning your insides. How was he able to handle this so well? It was surprising how good his restraint was when he, at the same time, has terrible impulses of blowing thousands of grimm within seconds.
As the days dragged on, it got quite obvious to the others that you two were up to something ridiculous once again and Lucifer was starting to get quite fed up of the back and forth teasing you two would do. "Guys just- get a room... Please," he would say.
You were both shooed away by everyone, making it into Mammon's room. "Can't you just let me win already?" you pleaded, as you plopped onto his bed, lying onto your stomach. Mammon watched as his gaze followed your figure, until he couldn't take his eyes off of something.
As you landed on the bed, your night gown slightly lifted at your waist, revealing a pretty lingerie set you had on underneath. Thoughts were swirling around his head. He had only seen you in lingerie once, on his birthday. This was no special occasion but you definitely had his heart racing and his mind pacing.
"Did you hear me?"
"I-I... U-um... Yeah I uh..." he stuttered. You got off of your stomach to rest your back on the headboard. He clears his throat. "Let ya win?" He makes his way to the edge of the bed and takes a seat. "I didn't play this lil' game of yours just to let ya win, princess."
To be honest you were needy, really needy at this point. You've been craving him the entire week but you just had to play it cool and you were starting to get really frustrated. You pouted at his words.
"Hm? What's that look on ya face?" he questioned.
Although you were desperate, you still didn't want to lose to the likes of him. Your brows furrowed as you pleaded him with your eyes, your glossy lips pouting.
"Ah, now ya makin' me feel bad! How could I say no to your pretty little face?" He leaned back into the bed, his arms holding him up. "Well, if ya want me so bad, then go ahead princess. I'm all yours."
He had the stupidest smile plastered to his face. You frowned. It was obvious he wasn't gonna let you win. When he wanted something, he got it- no matter the cost.
"Just admit ya lost and I'll give ya whatcha want."
Easier said than done. You were a petty little brat but you were craving him so bad, you needed him right now and all this chatter was getting you all hot and bothered. "Mammon..." you whined, "Please..."
He sighed. "A bets a bet. If I'm not gonna lose, and you're not gonna lose... then I guess we're waitin' another week," he shrugged as he got up from the bed. You tugged at his shirt before he could fully stand. "Hm?" He paused as he turned to face you. As you stared down in defeat, you could feel him staring back at you with the biggest smirk. "Is this your way of sayin' ya lost to me?"
"W-whatever... just- just tell me what you want," you mutter.
The reward you offered for winning, was that the winner could do whatever they wanted with the loser, pretty simple.
"Get ridda the dress, I wanna see how pretty ya dressed for me."
He takes your place, resting his back against the headboard while you remove the silk gown. He admires you for a moment, the intricate lace hugging the curves and folds of your body beautifully. He's always amazed at how he managed to score you. Of all demons, you chose him and he could never be happier.
He motioned for you to sit on his lap and you do so. Settled over him, you can feel a hard bulge beneath you. You look up at him and meet with his deep blue eyes. "Well, whaddya waitin' for, princess? Ride me." You both frantically toss your under garments away into oblivion.
Once again, you're settled above him. You gulp as you stare down at his growing member, already flowing with pre-cum. You use your hand to guide him to your entrance while your other hand rests on his chest for support. He never fails to surprise you with his size and there was no way you could ever get used to it.
You slowly lower yourself down, feeling your walls stretch around him. You groaned. You weren't even halfway down and you were already having difficulty taking him in. He watched you carefully as you attempted to lower yourself, his dick twitching from the lack of friction. "Fuck, y/n... ya actin' like ya ain't take my dick before," he grumbles.
"I'm sorry you're just... so damn big..." you muttered. He brought his hands to your hips to help guide you down and once you made it all the way down you took a moment to adjust. You slowly started to raise your hips to bounce on him, pressing your hands against his bare chest to hold yourself up. He watched as you rode him, scrunched brows, half-lidded eyes, mouth agape. You were so damn pretty.
You started to pick up the pace, earning a few groans and grunts from him. His hands found their way to your hips, slamming you down while he bucked his hips up into you. Your gasps and moans were music to his ears. "Mammon... Mammon I..." You were starting to come undone and felt a tightening knot in your stomach. You were going to reach your high soon. "Fuck... fuck y/n..." he groaned, "You're so... you're so damn slow!"
You sharply gasped when he grabbed you by your wrists and threw you onto your back. He was now hovering over you. The look he had in his eyes looked as if he was going to devour you, whole. He started to slam his hips into you mercilessly as if some kind of monster had taken control. Your moans grew louder and much more whiney as he rammed into you, over and over again.
"Do ya know how fuckin' crazy ya drove me this entire week?" he breathed. You could feel him smile beside your ear. "I woulda fucked the shit outta ya first day if I didn't hafta put up with ya lil' game."
The only response that left your mouth were your stupid little whimpers and moans of his name.
"You're gonna make up for all the time ya wasted." His pace only got faster, his tip hitting that same sensitive spot again and again. You wanted to tug and pull at his soft white hair, but your wrists were in restraint by his large hands. "Mammon... I can't..." you whimpered.
"Can't what?" he smirked.
"I... I can't take it... ‘s too much..." Your words only made him go faster and it was pulling your insides into knots and twists. "Well I'm sorry princess, but the winner gets to do whatever to the loser, right?" he grinned.
He was abnormally faster than usual today, but it was because of how much he was dying to fuck you. Just because he could restrain himself, did not mean that he didn't wanna fuck you dumb. If anything, the game made him even more hungry for you.
Your fucked-out face had him smiling stupidly as he rammed into you. "Mammon I'm... I'm gonna..." you mumbled.
"Hm? Whaddya gonna do?"
"I'm gonna cum!" you whined.
"Already? But we've only just started princess," he teased, as he placed a sloppy kiss onto your lips. You were seriously about to finish, especially at the pace he was going at.
"Please... let me cum. I can't take it anymore!" you begged.
You looked so good right now. Brows furrowed while your eyes were rolled back, tongue slightly out. "Fuck you're so pretty... do ya hafta finish right now?" he groaned.
You were a moaning mess and it was a struggle to even speak right now. He removed his hands from your wrists and found purchase of your hips. His thrusts were starting to get sloppy and he was also close to finishing.
"Fine," he huffed, "You can cum."
As if on command, you came undone almost instantly while grabbing ahold of his soft hair. The tightening of your walls around him pushed him over the edge and he released into you. "Fuck..." he groaned as he filled up your insides with his hot seed. He continued to thrust into you, not allowing a drop to be wasted.
He started to slow down his pace, and he finally pulled out of you. You smiled as he looked down at you, you were completely worn out. He leaned down to place a soft, but sweet kiss to your lips.
"You happy now baby?" you asked, while wrapping your arms around his neck.
"Mhm, really happy," he smiled.
You lean in for a second kiss and as he pulls away, you notice his smile turn into a devilish smirk. You frown, confused at what his face is for.
"Mkay now turn around, we goin' for round two baby!"
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©2023 aestrayla. do not modify, copy, translate or share.
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mint-yooxgi · 1 year ago
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Depravity - Yandere!Wolf!Bang Chan
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Yandere AU & Wolf AU - First Person POV
Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue
Pairing: Bang Chan X Implied Chubby!Fem!Reader
Words: 2,024
Warnings: Establish relationship. Predator/prey dynamics, and implications of consensual non-consent (cnc). This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.
A/n: I honestly had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy it, too! It's feral, but sweet? At least, in my opinion lol... Anyways, Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~
The Fourteenth of The Feral Drabbles
I can smell you.
Oh, Baby Girl, knowing you’re as excited for this as I am just makes needing to catch you all the more sweeter. The pull you have on me is even stronger than that of the moon itself, and tonight, you’re mine.
I’ll admit, when you first suggested that I chase you around the woods like this, I was a little hesitant. Surprised would be an understatement, considering I thought I was dreaming again. There was no way you were letting one of my deepest fantasies come to life. Yet, here we are.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The mental image alone of how your eyes lit up in excitement after I agreed to this fuels every movement I make. I need to get to you. I need to have you. There’s no escaping your fate, Baby. I’ll catch up to you, and when I do, you better be ready. After all, it was you who told me to unleash the beast.
He craves you. I have always craved you. Since the first moment I saw you, I knew that we were meant to be. I did everything in my power to ensure you only ever saw the best of me, but you’ve secretly wanted me to let loose. All this time, and I thought you were perfectly content with me being nothing but a gentleman.
Oh, how wrong I was.
You seek the thrill of the hunt, too. If only I had known sooner, I would have gladly made your heart shudder as it is now while I chase you through the foliage, creeping closer with each step. 
I can hear everything, you know. I can hear the way your breath hitches with every snap of a twig. You heart stutters each time my footsteps approach you. I can tell you’re trying to be sneaky, but there’s nothing you can do that would throw me off your trail. Your very being calls to me, and like hell am I letting you slip away.
Though, I’m not unreasonable. I even gave you a head start, just like you wanted. The goal is to end in our little cabin, deep within the darkness of the woods. No one to disturb us; I can have you all to myself. 
I plan to make you scream tonight, Baby Girl; only you, me, and the moon.
Tracking you has never been easier. I’m already attuned to your every move. I have to be. I care too much about you to not know every little detail I can about the beauty I plan to spend the rest of my life with. Our story will be timeless, as will our love. I’ll make sure of it, even if it’s the last thing I ever do. I’m never letting you go, though from the way your excited giggles fill the air, I can tell you don’t want me to, either.
With every passing moment, your scent becomes stronger. I could end this quickly, but you wanted to draw this out. Besides, I want to give us a satisfactory prelude to the night I’m about to give you. You told me not to hold back, and the longer I spend hunting you, the more that burning desire within me swirls and builds.
Fuck- I can’t wait to have you spread out beneath me, naked and trembling in ecstasy. I want to see your eyes roll, and your thighs shake. I want to hear you scream my fucking name, praising the moon for bringing us together just as it has always been fated to be. I plan to take everything from you, and give everything of me in return. I won’t stop until we’re both satisfied, Baby Girl. I’ll show you just how insatiable I can be…
I’m getting closer, I can tell. I wonder if you’ll be able to see my golden eyes cutting through the darkness. You told me not to hold back, and I don’t intend to. Of course, I promised not to chase you in my true form, that’s just unfair. There wouldn’t be a chase if I did that, and I swore I would never hurt you. Though, it would be fun to see your reaction when a large, handsome wolf comes bounding up to you, only for it to shift into me in the next second.
Perhaps next time…
Just wait until you see how strong I can be. All those times I’ve held you close, I’ve cut back on how tightly my arms would wrap around you. Now, I don’t have to. You want me to lose control. You want me to claim you, just as I’ve always desired. By the time I’m done with you, all you’ll be able to think about is the way my hands feel all over your body. Your mind will be so consumed by the pleasure of it all, the only thing you’ll be able to remember is my name. My fingers will leave marks all over your skin, igniting a fire over your body just as your touch does to mine. Tonight, as with every other night, I serve you. I will always serve you.
Fuck- just thinking about the way my fingers are going to sink into your plush skin makes me quicken my pace. I want to feel you beneath me, squirming and begging for more. I want to make your hips buck into my mouth as my tongue explores every dip and crevice of you. I already know you taste amazing, but tonight, it’ll mean that much more.
Oh, Baby… I can’t wait to feel you dripping all over me. My fingers ache to be buried in that tight little cunt of yours. My lips long to be pressed against every inch of your body. A body which brings me to my knees every single goddamn time I look at you. If only you could have heard the way I whined for you when this whole thing started. I’m desperate, Baby, and you should know that it’s all for you. All because of you, and once I’ve unleashed him, there’s no turning back.
I’m going to have you fucking begging me for more as my tongue buries itself in that precious cunt of yours. I can’t wait to taste you, and have you dripping down my chin like you usually do. I want to feel your thighs squeezing around my head as I drown in that addictive nectar that flows from between your legs. I’m gonna fucking lose myself in you, just like I always do.
Hmm, I wonder how many times I can make you squirt? Five? Six? …Seven?
No matter. I plan to lose count, anyways.
I’m almost there…
With every step I make, there’s a steady crunch of leaves beneath my feet, and I can heart your heartbeat growing louder and louder. Even you can tell I’m close, and that only makes the thrill rushing through my own veins that much stronger. Once I catch you, I’m dragging your ass back to that cabin and having my way with you. There’s no escaping the monster lurking in these woods. He belongs to you, and he always will.
Oh, you cleaver little minx…
You purposely threw me off with your scent. You left a little gift for me to find, and at the giggle I can hear drifting through the air, I can still tell you’re close. Only now, I’m not holding back. My Baby is walking around these dark, cold woods without a shirt on. I can’t let you weather the elements like that alone. What type of beast would I be if I let My Girl get cold?
Your playfulness might just be your downfall.
I’m coming for you, Baby Girl. You ain’t seen nothing, yet.
Alright, then…
Ready or not, here I come…
Every sense I have is honed in on you. Your scent, your breathing, your heartbeat. I can feel you surrounding me, and even I can tell my eyes are getting darker with each passing moment. The beast is lurking beneath the surface, just waiting to come out. I can practically taste the desire and excitement rolling off of you, and it only makes me move faster.
I need to get to you. Now.
Low growls escape me, my teeth sharpening into fangs as my claws extend. I know you can hear me using the trees to propel myself towards you, leaving my marks on them just as I’m going to leave my marks all over you.
My eyes scan the woods frantically, low snarls escaping me with every breath. I can hear you. I can smell you right in front of me, yet you’re not-
My breath hitches, and I look up, a wild grin pulling at my features as pride swells in my chest.
Clever girl.
Have I ever told you that I love it when I make your heart skip a beat? You seem to enjoy it when I grin like this, but I never thought I’d get this type of reaction from you. Perhaps I should do it more often… There truly is no greater feeling than knowing the effect I have on you.
That’s it, Baby Girl, let me hear your heart race as you attempt to climb further up the tree you’re in. It’s cute that you think you can escape me now.
It takes me no time at all to race up the tree, appearing right in front of you in the blink of an eye. The way your breath hitches is music to my ears. And that spike of arousal? Divine.
I’ve got you now.
Struggle all you want, I’m never letting you go. Though, it’s quite amusing to feel you attempt to break free from my hold, even as I jump down from the tree. I always told you that I could easily carry you if I wanted to, and getting to prove that fact now only makes this moment that much more sweeter. Your body was made for me, and mine for you. See how well we fit together?
The warmth of your skin against my shoulder only makes my own heart race that much faster. Fuck, Baby- you said anything goes, but just being able to hold your ass in my hand as I carry you towards the best fucking night of our lives is making my head spin. Always so plush and soft… 
Can’t wait to have my hands all over you… 
You’ve already made me so fucking hard from all the thoughts about what I’m going to do to you. From your intoxicating scent that surrounds me, I can already tell you’re fucking dripping, too.
Do you like the fact that I’ve been stalking you around these woods without a shirt on, letting you see all of me as I hunt you down like the precious little prey you are? Do you feel the electricity between us as your bare skin touches mine? Can you feel the way you make my own heart race, aching for you inside my chest? Everything I am, everything I do… Do you know that it’s all for you? That I’ve always been all for you?
No matter. Tonight, I’ll show you. There’s not an inch of this plush body that will go untouched by me. Lips, hands, cock, tongue… everything I am is yours tonight, Baby. You’re mine, just as I am yours.
That’s it, Baby Girl, go ahead and whimper my name like that all you want. Beg for me… It’ll only makes the beast inside that much more desperate to claim you. I’ve kept him at bay while the chase was on, but as soon as we step through that cabin door, you’ll see a whole new side of me. 
I would never hurt you, though. Even I have my limits. That being said, I’m not finished tonight until you’re either begging me to stop, or you pass out from the pleasure of it all. 
Finally, the beast is going to claim his prize.
It’s you. It will forever and always be you.
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cosmicatta · 5 months ago
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One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis
So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.
And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.
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Some notes before I start:
The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.
I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.
For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).
These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!
The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.
Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.
I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.
But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.
The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.
What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):
P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."
P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."
P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].
And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.
P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"
But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.
It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.
In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."
P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."
Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.
In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.
P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"
Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)
Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.
Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")
But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.
In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora���Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)
In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.
His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.
We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.
The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:
P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."
It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.
The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:
"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."
It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.
Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.
Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:
The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.
Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.
Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.
Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.
Law is bad at cooking.
Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.
The Hearts�� jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.
Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.
And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!
Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!
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breakyourrxles · 1 month ago
Text
❥between two breaths (m) | 𝟙
𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤
↳ You get the call; a new life starts, the terms and conditions are understood.
Or, so you think.
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kim sunwoo x fem!reader (side lee juyeon x reader) — idol!sunwoo, fan/trainee!reader. forced proximity, forbidden love, friends to lovers, angst, slow burn, idolverse-typical themes regarding; dating, image, public perception, etc. happy ending, plot-heavy!! reader thinks she's nonchalant about it but she rly isn't. smut. [4,5k wc ongoing] cws: heavy themes of wanting-but-can't-having, mild jealousy, explicit sexual content, a little alcohol consumption, dancing on the edge of career suicide, poor decision making because of The Wanting.
❥ masterlist | ao3
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"So, what's your plan? See each other in the halls and pretend that we've not been meeting for months already?"
"We really shouldn't be out like this, you know."
Late into the evening on a cool spring Thursday, the streets are packed with people coming and going from meetings with friends. Gangnam is the sort of area that never really sleeps no matter what day of the week it happens to be, and there is steep difficulty in attempting to find a hole in the wall that offers even the most minute amount of privacy.
Much less the kind of privacy that the two of you require for outings such as this one.
"That's sort of the fun of it, isn't it?"
The table is tucked into a dark corner, and the bar offers few more places for seating beyond that. It's a small, dingy sort of place that seems infrequently traveled for obvious reasons, and though the scent of sticky floor and long forgotten food lingers unpleasantly around you; suppose the two of you have little other option than precisely this.
Sunwoo looks up and sets his sights on you. His hood pulled up over his head for added discretion. Meetings in public are always like this.
But the two of you do not meet in private, either.
The corners of his lips curl slowly into something sly and he says, "We don't have to see each other like this."
"Yes, we do," you reply. "What else would you suggest?" It's a sarcastic question that you don't require an actual answer for, and before he has a chance to do so, you follow it up by saying, "Actually, I know exactly what you'd suggest."
He shrugs, all carefree and nonchalant like he always does. "I'm just saying, there's options."
Your relationship with Sunwoo is complicated, to say the least.
"Oh, sure. It'd be really great for either of us to risk getting caught disappearing to a hotel or something. Are you not even a little concerned for your image?"
"Of course I am, that's why I've got my hood up." Sunwoo's eyes find yours once again, and the beer on the table in front of him finally finds his lips for a sip. "But you've got to admit, it's pretty fun. You know, breaking all the rules. The risk of getting caught."
"Until you do get caught," you say. "I'm not thrilled about the possibility myself but as of right now, you have far more to lose than I do."
"That depends entirely on how your auditions go. Once you're in, then you shoot up to public enemy number one as far as being seen out with a male idol is concerned."
A single eyebrow perks up on your face, amused by the intricacies of your involvement together. "It won't exactly look great for you. You're going to seem like one of those seniors that preys on trainees."
"No, I'm a senior that preys on his fans, apparently," Sunwoo corrects, though there's little seriousness carried in his tone. "Fan-turned-trainee. Point taken, though."
Watching Sunwoo from across the table, you give yourself a moment to take in the sight of him. His long, curly hair that cascades over his eyes ever so slightly and the gentle plushness of his lips as they press into the rim of his glass. It's been four long years that you've been following his career, but as they have carried on, the barrier held between fan and idol has begun to crumble. Now, the seven months that you and Sunwoo have been meeting like this seem far longer than the ones before; once stolen glances eventually mutating into an inconceivable line that is meant to exist, but no longer appears to.
"We should stop meeting."
"You don't mean that," Sunwoo says. "Besides, once you get in we're going to be seeing each other all of the time again. That's when things will really get tricky."
You mean it as much as you possibly can as someone with no intention of putting in the effort of seeing it come to fruition.
The truth of the matter is that you and Sunwoo have no future together. Whatever this is now, can never evolve into anything more and only has a road towards eventually dissolving for the best of the both of you. Hiding it forever can never work, just as the day that the two of you can go public will never have a hope of arriving, either.
And no matter how many times you bring up the fact, Sunwoo remains wholly unwilling to let this eventuality come to pass.
"So, what's your plan? See each other in the halls and pretend that we've not been meeting for months already?"
"The members don't care, as long as I'm discreet enough," Sunwoo says with a shrug. "I figure most of them assume I'm out right now doing things far more interesting than what I actually am, anyway. Once you start coming around as a trainee it's fairly straightforward: yeah, we know each other already, we've been meeting for a while. No, it's not like that, though not for lack of trying."
You kick at his leg from under the table for the devilish little remark.
"You forget you've been my fan for years, they are probably going to recognize you anyway," he adds.
An unfortunate byproduct of spending so much time and money attending events, taking photos and being diligent in the fandom way of life.
"And assume we've been sleeping together this entire time, presumably."
Sunwoo's head bobbles in a sort of thoughtful, noncommittal way before relenting to the fact and saying, "Probably. You can't really blame them for it, that's how these sorts of things usually go when idols are found out to be spending secret time with their fans. I'll be honest but…"
"But it won't really make much of a difference," you say through a sigh.
"It's not so bad," Sunwoo says, "They're not going to think less of you even if they believe that's the case. They're good guys. It's just a little hard to believe that we've been spending a bunch of private time together but not… you know…"
This decision had not come easily to you once you had made it, either. When the barrier between fan and idol started to dissipate, the promise of spending a night with Sunwoo hung heavily in your mind during each and every meeting. He had never made much of an effort, however; never touching you, never making a comment in regards to the fact, and never asking you to follow him to a place where hands and lips may finally meet flesh. You met as friends, and remained as such through the slow journey of getting to know one another on a more personal level, and over time, the thought of it did not leave you so much as you found yourself in a position of having to make a decision for yourself. 
Because now there are feelings. Tiny, barely there sprouts of interest that you hoped may never take root inside of your heart, and so, you protected yourself in the best way that you knew how.
"I get it, and if I pass auditions then that'll only make it that much more troublesome, anyway."
"You're going to pass, and at least then we won't have to sneak around as much as we do now." His eyes flit up towards the ceiling as a thought seems to catch him, and then he says, "Or, we have to sneak around more, because you're probably not going to be able to keep your hands off of me with all that new and easily accessible Sunwoo time."
You go to kick at him again, but Sunwoo anticipates it and is quick to push his chair back and out of your line of terror.
Glaring at him, you say, "If I was going to fuck you don't you think I would have done it already?"
And as Sunwoo brings himself back towards the table, his cheek finds the heel of his palm. Another small smile slips into his lips as he watches you, and all he says is, "No, I actually don't think that. I think you're much smarter than that."
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The acceptance call comes five weeks after your last meeting with Sunwoo, and you allow yourself the time to cry and celebrate with nobody but yourself. Your bedroom feels impossibly small compared to how it had only moments before, and once you gather the strength to begin packing your essentials, you locate your phone and send off a message to the only person you can think of that will share your precise level of excitement.
Later that evening and long after the sun has finished setting, you can't be sure if it is simply the beauty of the season in full swing, or if everything around you truly does have a glittering, charmed hue to it now. The wind blows gently and along with it comes leaves and cherry blossom petals cascading down to the ground around you. You stare out towards the river; flickering lights from cars passing over the bridge and tall buildings that seem to never sleep sparkling across the dark water ahead. It's stunning—everything is stunning now—because the rest of your life is about to change forever, and for always.
"Congratulations."
Sunwoo's shoulder nudges your own as he comes up to stand beside you, and though your eyes only meet for a second, there's immense warmth held inside of his gaze. The two of you look at the water together, and it is only in that moment that you realize that times like this are soon to fall to the wayside in favor of grueling training regimens and seemingly unending schedules. Debut is far out into the future, another set of obstacles standing between it and you now; but you cannot help dreaming of it as if it hangs only barely out of the grasp of your fingers now.
"Everything is gonna be different from this day forward," Sunwoo says. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants and like all other times you meet him like this, his hood is pulled up over his head. "Is it weird that I'm going to miss doing stuff like this? Sneaking around just to catch a glimpse of a life that I used to be able to live."
"It's not weird," you reply with an accompanying and gentle shake of your head. "I'd be willing to guess a lot of idols miss it, and I'm sure there's going to come a day where I do too." Turning to look at him, you smile somewhat sinisterly and then add, "Besides, you can always just make friends with another fan of yours if you really want to."
Sunwoo snorts out a laugh. "Yeah right. I was crazy enough to do it once, not going to press my luck and end up with someone who's going to sell all my personal information, or make up stories about what we're doing during our little meetups."
"Who says they need to make it up?"
He sways to knock into you again, a playful shove that sends you stumbling ever so slightly as you laugh.
"You shouldn't think so low of me! We're supposed to be friends!"
"We are friends, but we can be honest about what may have been your intentions at the beginning of these little escapades."
Sunwoo glares at you, eyes narrow and displeased. "And what should I assume about someone who spends so much time taking photos of me and seeing me at all of those events? I'm sure what reeled you in at a glance was my impressively charming personality, not the way I look, of course."
"And yet neither of us made any moves," you say pointedly. "Guess we were destined to only ever be what we are today."
Saying the words out loud does little to make them feel like home to you.
"Yeah," Sunwoo says through a sigh, and you can't help but hear a twinge of unsureness riddled within the simple word. "I guess so."
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The company building feels far more vast now than it had during your visits before.
Numerous rounds of auditions down and somehow, you've managed to make it here. Through bruised knees, sleepless nights and meals consisting of the few things sitting in your fridge because you lacked the energy to cook for yourself; you're here now. You made it. The only thing left awaiting you is a debut date and the next version of the rest of your life.
Your shoulder aches from the weight of the bag slung over it. It's heavy and crammed full of things you might need. Some changes of clothes, cosmetics, and items for tending to your hair; your new daily routine. It feels like a whirlwind of new experiences and nearly insurmountable expectations, but there is nowhere else you would rather be.
The marble under your feet glistens and the glass doors in front of you slide open in welcoming. The woman at the desk greets you happily and hands you your itinerary as your manager follows soon behind you. He is a kind enough man in his forties, if you had to guess. A little shy, perhaps hoping to start things off on a positive foot and you very much appreciate it, because the anxiousness bubbling in your stomach is causing it to twist and turn uncomfortably with every new eye that comes your way.
"You'll want the seventh floor," the woman says, pointing towards the large elevator down the hall. "That's where the dance studios are. The paperwork I've handed you details where you can find everything else, but from here on out it's likely you'll always be accompanied by a manager, a fellow trainee, or a coach of some sort, so I doubt you'll have to worry so much about becoming lost. Good luck!"
Entering the aforementioned elevator, you and your manager step inside, the doors close, and he takes it upon himself to press the button with the seven printed on it.
At first, the ride is silent. Neither of you are quite sure how it is that you're meant to break the ice like this. Out of the corner of you spot him awkwardly glancing around the otherwise empty space, and with a small smile, you finally take it upon yourself to strike up conversation with him.
"Is it true what she said back there?" you ask. "That from here on out I'll not ever have a moment to myself."
His attention snaps to you, seemingly shocked at the question. However, he seems willing enough to answer it, and after clearing his throat he says, "I'm afraid so. From this moment on, normal everyday freedoms are a thing of the past."
You think of Sunwoo, and your relatively frequent secret meetings together. Eventually, there will come a day where you will be afforded the same luxury that he has now.
"It'll all be worth it in the end," you say, "and besides, I can be rather sneaky, myself."
The two of you meet eyes in a sideways glance, and though he does his best not to make it evident, you can already see the stress creeping up through his broad form.
"Good to know."
"Don't worry, I don't intend on being trouble."
"Yeah," he replies, "They often don't."
After a startling jolt and a loud dinging sound, the shiny silver doors part away and give view to a vast hallway of closed doors and muffled, booming music. You glance around to take in the sights; bright lights and white walls as far as the eye can see. A scent of sterility all around you that feels stifling to your senses and feels as though it attempts to strip away your sense of self; breaking you down with every intention of molding and rebuilding you into the perfect essence of the idol you are soon to become.
"Your room is down this way, some of the girls are already inside getting ready."
The man steps ahead and begins to lead you down the hallway, and already you find yourself thinking about a time where all of this will no longer feel new, and all of the luster of it will be lost on tears cried and hours spent trying to perfect something that seems so far out of your grasp. Each and every day will present new challenges—some that may feel insurmountable in that moment—but you will overcome them. You will attain this. You will debut.
Someday, these walls will be akin to a second home. Nothing special and nothing exciting about seeing them. It's an impossible sort of thing to even fathom right now, but all new things eventually become old. 
On some of the walls are photos of incredible moments shared by the groups that have preceded you. Cheery smiles and the most beautiful, happy tears cried on a stage with confetti fluttering around them and a trophy in hand. You spot one that is familiar to you, and though you've not seen this particular photo before, you recognize the faces held within, as well as the day in which this monumental moment took place.
Because you were there.
But before you have time to truly linger in the uncanniness of it all, a door ahead swings open and a large number of men begin to file out. Almost as if the photo beside you has just sprung to life.
Sangyeon leads the charge as the members follow behind. You make an effort to avert your eyes—to turn your face away as to not be recognized—before realizing that this is something of a fool’s errand. There are going to be many more scenarios such as this one, and it is an unavoidable fact that they are going to learn of your trainee status among them. It is far from the first time that a fan has then moved on to become an idol themselves, but being in such close proximity to the group you have dedicated so many years of devotion to brings a bizarre prickling sensation all across your skin.
You look back up, and immediately your eyes find Eric's. The two of you exchange a sort of understanding look, as if he is a little surprised to see you here and perhaps even more surprised by the fact that he very much does recognize your face. Beyond that, and more amusing to you, is Eric turning to look behind him to shoot Sunwoo a questioning squint.
Then, you and Sunwoo's eyes find each other.
His eyebrows perk up and a smile graces his lips. Words are not exchanged, and before you have time to fully comprehend the storm you have been swept up in, they are gone.
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Well past midnight, you finally step foot back inside of your dorm.
The space is small and shared with far too many other girls than what you consider to be a comfortable arrangement. Everyone has just arrived, and as a result, bags and belongings are strewn all about the floor and the furniture as far as the eye can see. Some of them have made it inside of their respective bedrooms, and thankfully, you are one of the few to be lucky enough in having done so.
Four girls to a room, with bunk beds that are shaky and make noise every time even the slightest of movements atop them are made. A few rounds of rock-paper-scissors decide the placements, and as if luck is deeply on your side, you manage to score one of the beds on the lower level nearest to the door.
"You're really good," one of the girls says. Her name is Miyoung and she is a strong vocalist that had taken part in one of the same rounds of auditions as you. A kind, gentle girl with a round, cute face that is sure to be popular should she debut. You sort of hope that she does. Miyoung smiles at you and then goes on to say, "Your dancing. It's really impressive, I have a lot I can learn from you."
"Same goes for singing, I might need you to teach me some things when we get into vocal lessons," you reply.
One of the other girls pauses her unpacking and then turns to face you, joining in on the openness of the conversation. Her stage name is Kaia, and you realize that you don't even know what her real name is yet.
"I have a question, and I hope it isn't too intrusive," Kaia begins, fidgeting awkwardly with one of the straps of her backpack. Her long, black hair curtains down around her face and almost completely obscures her features from your line of sight, but from what you can tell, she appears fairly reluctant to meet your eyes. "I overheard some of the other girls talking earlier in the day, when I was down in the cafe, and one of them was saying…"
Her words fall away, you and Miyoung catch each other's glance briefly and then you say, "What? What were they saying?"
"It's nothing bad, or mean!" Kaia insists, her head snapping up and shaking quickly to drive the point home. "I don't want there to be any animosity between all of us, especially so early on, so I feel guilty even bringing it up, but… I guess, there are certain things that feel a little bit like red flags to some of the others as trainees. They weren't speaking badly of you, it's just one of them thought…"
"Kaia, you gotta spit it out girl." Miyoung's assertiveness is much appreciated in a time such as this one, because the thought had been welling up in your mind already.
"You were a fan, right? Before this?"
Miyoung's head slowly turns to face you once again, as if perhaps her initial willingness to jump to your defense may be falling away just as quickly as the knowledge has been unearthed. It is not something that you have considered holding close to your chest, but if the truth is already out and being circulated amongst the other trainees, then you realize the only option you have is to be as upfront and honest about it as you can.
You feign comfort in an attempt to be strong and appear unbothered by the line of questioning and the discourse that may be a result of it. With your bag already unzipped, you continue pulling belongings out of it so that they may soon find their new home.
"Yeah. I've been a fan of The Boyz for many years now."
"Who?"
Kaia snaps the question out almost as quickly as you finish your own words, and though it confuses you in its immediacy, it only takes a few seconds before you realize precisely what it is that you are being asked.
"Oh, um…" This, you had hoped to avoid. You linger in the thoughts for far too long—so long that it is obvious that you are attempting to decide where it is that you wish to go with this—and with all eyes on you, you know that you are quickly running out of time. "Sunwoo," you say. "I was Sunwoo's fan."
"Was?" Miyoung asks.
"Well, it's awkward now, isn't it? Being in the same company, and all. We're basically colleagues, now."
Kaia pipes up next. "Do you think he recognizes you?"
The question is amusing, though you cannot possibly ever detail why. Instead, you bite back the smile that wants to give life upon your lips and you simply say, "I don't know, probably. I went to a lot of events."
"Wow, I couldn't imagine joining the same company as the idol I liked, but maybe something exciting will happen! Maybe you two will fall in love and live happily ever after!"
Miyoung rolls her eyes at Kaia's whimsical view of the world. "Yeah right, all of these idol guys are players. I wouldn't dare trust any of them with anything of mine, much less my heart."
"Well, they can't all be bad!" Kaia chirps.
As the girls continue their back and forth, you eventually remember the existence of your phone. Digging around the front pocket of your bag, you finally fish it out and what is waiting for you amongst your numerous notifications is one that, somehow, you had not been anticipating.
S [23:04]: that was fun. e's face was priceless. he kept asking me 'did you know? did you know she was coming? is she following you?' lollll little does he know i'm the one that told you to audition. i think he thinks you're stalking me. i wish :/
You snort a laugh, forgetting the company that you currently keep. The reaction draws the attention of both of the girls, though it is short lived in favor of their discussion that you have long since been ousted from.
You [01:37]: you're so annoying! nobody is stalking you and now all your little friends are going to think i'm the weird girl following you. speaking of, the girls know about me. i guess one of the trainees has seen me around, if you know what i mean.
S [01:39]: it's kind of giving 'what were you doing at the devil's sacrament' but i figured this might happen. it's not a big deal. someone might assume you're just here for that reason but you're good, it'll be very obvious very quickly that you're talented. besides if they get annoying about it you can just tell them we've been meeting all this time so there's really no reason for you to audition for that 😛
You [01:39]: yeah dude that'll help my case. upgrade from stalker fan to fan that's having sex with him. real good plan!
S [01:40]: didn't say it was a good plan, just that it was one! i want to see you. when can we meet up?
You look up towards the other girls and the slew of belongings scattered all across the floor. It's already late and you have an early morning of vocal lessons, dance lessons, media training, and language lessons ahead of you. The thought of ever having time to do anything but the tasks that lead towards the goal of debut already seems impossible to you.
You [01:42]: i don't know, probably never based on how the days schedules look. you know how it is, you've been here before.
Sunwoo does not respond immediately, and with every minute that passes, you figure that he simply isn't going to. There's little necessity for a reply, so with the conversation coming to a natural conclusion you set your phone back down and continue trying to make the tiny space beside your bed something akin to a comfortable home.
That is, until your phone chimes with a notification again.
You pick it up, unlock the screen and the nerves beneath your skin begin to buzz with some sort of newfound and intrigued anticipation.
S [01:54]: hmm. guess the only option then is for us to become friends. look alive for introductions tomorrow morning in the cafe. it's time for your first acting lesson!
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